Work Header

I Can Teach You, But I Have To Charge

Work Text:

“Morning, Fez!” Cassie chirps, letting herself into his & her sister’s house. 

“‘Sup, Cass,” he says, not looking up from the coffee pot he’s fiddling with. 

Lexi bounds down the stairs in a matching spandex set. A sports bra and biker shorts in bright red, blue, and purple floral pattern. It’s modest compared to the one shoulder crop top and cut out leggings Cassie is wearing, but it’s still enough to make his eyes linger, raking over her toned stomach and then higher to the swell of her chest.

It’s been a decade--nearly a third of his life has been spent wanting her, and he can’t imagine ever getting sick of it. He’s seen her grow and change from cute, quiet kid with braces and a sharpie beard to a shy, demure girl that didn’t seem to comprehend her beauty, to a woman whose curves have filled out, that owns her sexuality. Even wields it against him on occasion. 

“Hey, Cassie! Just let me get my shoes on.” She bends over to pull on her sneakers, and Fez’s mouth goes dry at the sight of lycra stretching across her tight little ass. He shakes his head and sips on his too-hot coffee, hoping burning his mouth will be enough to keep him from objectifying his wife. 

She walks over to where Fez is standing by the hall tree, and grabs her coordinating windbreaker. She stretches to slide her arms in, pushing her breasts out and closer to his face. Which is, frankly, rude. She pushes her hair behind her to pull it out from where it’s trapped under the jacket and goes to grab her keys from the bowl, but Fez snatches them first. He dangles them above her head, out of reach. 

“Gotta pay the toll. Sorry, Lex.” She rolls her eyes, but giggles. She enjoys this corny shit as much as he does. She crosses her arms pushing her tits together, creating a line of cleavage he wants to run his tongue between. 

He jingles them a little higher, and she places her hands on his chest, presses up on her toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. He wraps his free arm around her back and pulls her in to deepen it. When his other arm falls searching for more of her to touch, she grabs the keys and gives him one last, quick kiss before pulling away.

“Later, ‘co.” She winks and sticks a tongue out at him, having handily won their little game. 

“It’s too damn early for you all's disgusting brand of bullshit,” Ashtray says, dragging his feet into the kitchen as he rubs sleep from his eyes.”Where are you two going this early on a Saturday anyway?”

“Aerobic pole dancing,” Cassie tells them excitedly. 

Fez’s mug falls a short distance and clatters onto the island. He loses a few drops but gets his hands around it in time to keep it from spilling everywhere. 

“That’s what up! Throw it back, Lex.”

Fez smacks his brother upside the back of his head. 

“Bruh, what is wrong with you? That’s my wife. And you,” turns his glare on Lexi, “why is this the first I’m hearin’ ‘bout this?”

Lexi laughs as she shoves her wallet into her jacket pocket. “Ion know? It’s just exercise. I didn’t really think anything of it.”

“You didn’ think anything of learn’ how to dance for bandz?” Fez asks incredulously. He walks towards her--stalks would be a better term--slow and sure, like she’s prey, shaking his head in disbelief. He pushes some hair behind her ear, lets his hand drift down from the base of her skull, along her neck, over her semi-bare shoulder. He lets out a long breath, sees the goosebumps prickle over her chest, hears the sharp intake of her own breath.  

“We gonna talk about this later, Alexandra.” 

She swallows and nods. Reaches around him for the keys she won earlier. When she turns around, he gives her a light slap on the ass. “Have fun you two,” he says through long lashes, with a roguish grin that reeks of mischief. 

She walks back through the door hours later, after a full workout and lunch with Cassie and Maddy. She finds his eyes, holds his sight as she walks to the fridge and chugs a glass of water. He watches the column of her neck, the pulsing of her throat as she swallows. She takes an ice cube from the freezer, running it along  her neck and the dip below her collar bone. He watches the drips converge and disappear into her cleavage.

He stifles a groan by clearing his throat and rubs his hands along the tops of his thighs. 

She throws the ice in the sink and walks over to where he’s seated at the kitchen table. She sits in his lap and wraps her arms around his neck before she leans her head into his shoulder. It’s sweet and precious. If he didn’t love her so much, he would be angry at the way she freely drifts from dirty and flirty to cute and innocent. 

“Why is your tool belt out?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. Just taking care of some stuff ‘round the house.”

 She lets out a hum of acknowledgement. “How was your morning?” 

“It was pretty wild. I found out my fine ass, shy, little wife has been learnin’ how to work the pole.” 

Lexi rolls her head back and forth along his shoulder in embarrassment. She giggles, “It’s like a common thing! That people do!” she laughs.

“Oh, no, no, don’ get it twisted. Ion care about you knowin’ some moves. I’m not a pig or nuthin’. I grew up in a strip club--nothin’ but made respect for the profession. I’m just awfully curious why ain’t seen any of them.” 

Lexi laughs and pulls back, “I mean, I’m not, like, very good.” 

“Lexi O’Neill, you ain’t ever been bad at anything in your whole life, especially something with word ‘class’ in it. So you gonna take your fine ass upstairs and educate me.” 

He tickles her and she squirms, laughing boisterously. She runs from their spot up the stairs, and he chases after. Once in their room, he kicks the door closed. Locks it. Fez grabs her waist, twirling her around and pushing her up against the door. His lips collide with hers and she stands up on her tippy toes to deepen the kiss.

“Kissing is extra,” she pants into his mouth, before she pulling away with a coy smile. She wraps a finger under his chain and leads him to the bed, where she pushes his chest to sit him down. He lands with a bounce and puts his arms behind him, dropping to his elbow. 

Lexi turns around and sees it in the corner of the bedroom. A shiny metal pole bolted to plywood. Her eyes blow wide. “Fezco! You didn’t!” 

“I did what I needed to for an accurate assessment.” 

“Is this safe?” she asks, pulling on it to test its stability. 

He gives her an indignant guffaw. “Come on now, Lex. I couldn’t live with myself if I did anythin’ to harm one single hair on that pretty little head. Besides, you break a finger nail and Imma divorce ya.” 

She laughs and gives him a playful smack on the chest. He wraps his arms around her waist and she wraps hers around his neck. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” 

“Ridiculously in love witchu.” She leans down and gently presses her lips to his. The kiss is soft, unhurried, grateful for the act of service even if it’s totally fucking absurd. 

“Sorry, I’m broke. Spent all this money on a homemade stripper pole for my wife. I don’t know if I can afford all this kissing,” he mumbles against her lips.

“First two are free,” she says before pulling away, walking over to the bluetooth speaker to put on Pour It Up

“You usin’ my own tactics against me, shawty?”

Lexi slides on some heels. “Yo, are you fo’ real right now?” he asks.

“What?” she shrugs, “They’re necessary.” 

Fez laughs and cups his hands around his mouth to amplify, “Coming to the stage, right now, Lexiiiii O’Neillllll!” 

She laughs. This game they’re playing is so fucking dumb. He knows she’d never be comfortable enough with anyone else to even joke about this. But Fez always wants to make it easy for her. Easy to be quiet, shy Lexi. Easy to be stripper Lexi. Easy to be anything in between. He loves every minute point on the Lexi O’Neill née Howard scale. 

Everything is better when they’re together. It’s weirder, it makes more sense than anything, it’s softer, it’s louder, it’s heightened, it’s tranquil. They never need to reflect, to slow down and assess, change course. They just are .

She slowly walks over to the pole, placing one foot directly in front of the other. It makes her hips sway and the heels make her butt just a bit perkier than normal. She wraps a hand around the metal. Walking around in a circle as she lets her hand caress up her stomach, stopping at the underside of her breast. She grabs on with the other hand and starts to spin, pulling herself just a few inches off the ground. 

Her ankles find purchase next, and she starts spinning her whole body around. It's slow but so fluid. She’s somehow matched the syncopation to the music. It’s so athletic and just fucking pretty. 

Fezco hadn’t been to a strip club since his grandma shot out his dad’s knee caps, but now he wonders if he should have maybe filled in some of those Lexi-less years with a visit. He’s so gone for her, thinks she's sexy without even trying, so now watching the intention in her movement, the purpose in her eye…it has his limbs feeling heavy, like they’re filled with dense magma. She’s not even in anything all that revealing-- just the spandex set she left in this morning and he’s already itching to reach out and grab her, pull her off the pole and on to him.

She climbs higher up effortlessly, her chestnut waves fanning out as she tips her head back.  Fez rubs his hands over his shorn hair, not sure why he did this to himself. Seeing his cute, polite girl putting on a show is more than he can handle. She’s the one on display, but he’s the one feeling like a caged animal. He’s overestimated himself. Those Home Depot supplies he rushed out to pick up might as well be feathers and wax because he has flown too close to the sun. 

She begins her descent, wrapping her limber torso around the pole like a snake for a few revolutions before pushing her entire body away and walking her legs. She looks like she’s descending a spiral staircase. She looks fucking angelic. It’s a strange thought, but it’s the only explanation for how she’s seemingly defying gravity. 

He watches her toned, silky smooth legs; he aches to touch them. To touch her . His cock twitches. He tries to reel it in, white-knuckling his fists and resting them on his thighs. He knows the rules--he spent a lot of his youth looking at “NO TOUCHING signs” and watching violators escorted out. The muscles in her thighs flex and all he can think about is them wrapped around his face. He wants to suffocate in between them. Wants to be laid to rest with red roses in his hands and a beard dripping wet with her cum. 

Once she’s down, she does another sultry loop around, not breaking eye contact. Once she’s facing him, her back to the pole, she starts gyrating, sinking lower and lower. And all he can think about is her sinking lower and lower on him . He groans and throws his head back, hoping for a momentary reprieve from the aching in his pants. 

She squats down, opening her legs wide and running a hand along her inner thighs. Looking at him like she wishes it was his hand. He rubs himself through the outside of his sweats searching for a modicum of relief. She gets down on her hands and knees and throws it back, sticking her ass up in the air, arching her back. She starts crawling seductively towards him. She places a hand on each of his knees and pulls herself up, bringing her mouth a hair from his. She breathes out once. Twice. Three times. And then pulls away. 

She has a routine to finish. 

She’s still low, now behind the pole instead of in front of it. She starts gripping it. Running a fist up and down, up and down. Lexi bobs her entire body along to the rhythm of the music, gyrating her hips, moving them fluidly towards the pole. Towards him. Goddamn. He’s sure he’s already leaking. From the glint in her eye and the hint of tongue peeking out from between her teeth, she knows what she's doing. 

She’s having fun, enjoying herself. And that turns him on more than any of the tempting dancing she’s been doing. His core is one dull ache. Almost painful, barely bearable. He’s so turned on, he could jump out of his skin.

She lays down on the floor, opens her legs wide then twists so her backside is facing him. She pushes her ass into his sightline and he can’t stop himself from grabbing her hips. She turns in his arms and places her hands on his shoulders, steadying herself as she sways her hips, dipping down then up again. Her hands glide down his chest, over his pecs. They graze his abdomen and play with the elastic of his boxers peeking up through his sweatpants. She rubs her hands up and down his inner thighs, bending down to give him a heavenly view of her tits swaying seductively. 

“On God, Lex. You finna tryna’ kill me? I ain’t tryin’ to objectify you or nothin’, but how can you think you’re not good at this. This is the sexiest thing I ever seen.”

“You can objectify me a little,” she smiles. He thinks she actually blushes. He is rock hard, fucking throbbing, getting a divine show. And she has the audacity to blush. She brings her hands back up, all the way to the base of his skull. She plays with the hair at the base of his neck and pulls his head into her chest. She rolls her body as Rhianna sings throw it up, throw it up

She places her hands on his knees to balance, turns around to sit in his lap. She starts grinding against him.

“Fuckkkkk,” he lets out a pained moan. Rubbing his face like he’s about to unravel. He knows she feels his erection. He’s too hard and her pants are way too thin for her not to. 

She starts dragging her hands up and down her body. She dips her hand underneath her shorts, between her legs. “Fez,” she whines as she touches herself, like she’s hurting just as much for him. 

She pulls her hand out, presents it to him. “I’m dripping for you, Fezco,” she mewls. He wraps his thick fingers around her wrist, brings her glistening fingers to his mouth. He looks at her, holding her gaze as he swirls his tongue over each digit sucking them clean. 

She grabs his hands to move over her body. Fez’s hands slide underneath her sports bra to massage her boobs. His calloused fingers rubbing over her tender flesh. Lexi’s nipples instantly pucker and strain against his touch. 

“Take this fuckin’ thing off.” He peels the tight top off and throws it across the room. 

A laugh flies out. “Hey, what’d my bra ever do to you?” 

“It was covering these perfect tits. I fuckin’ hate it. I’m gonna burn it when we’re done.” His hot breath strokes her nipples, and she moans when he draws it into his mouth and sucks deeply. 

“Oh my God, I wanted this so badly the past three hours,” she mumbles in anguish.

“I want it all the time.” 

“Take it, baby,” she says huskily. 

So he does. 

He fuses his mouth to hers, it makes his head whirl. Fez fucking loves kissing her-- her warm lips, her greedy, impatient tongue, the way she gasps and then whimpers when he tugs her body against his. 

“I was going crazy not being able to touch you,” she confesses on his tongue. “You have no idea how close I was to just taking off your pants and riding your dick, as soon as you closed the door.” Fezco's groin thrums. Fuck, he is so gone. If they weren’t already married, he might get down on his knees and propose again. The two of them are all over each other, all the time. Even after years of learning each other's bodies. It’s an addiction. But one neither of them minds. 

“I swear your pussy is fuckin’ magical, Lex. Hocus pocus, castin' spells on this dick.”

She kicks off her shorts in frantic desperation, the fabric sticking to her damp skin. Wordlessly, he stands and drops trou. He hears the soft thud of the phone in his pocket hitting the hardwood. Lexi calmors to pull off his shirt as he’s trying to find her lips again. He tugs his M&M boxers down his muscular legs. His dick swings up, pledging allegiance in full salute. Long and thick. He swallows, salivating like he’s one of Pavolv’s fucking dogs. And she is the bell.

Fez scoops her up like she weighs nothing and Lexi wraps her legs around his broad waist, locking her ankles. His strong core presses against the sensitive skin inside her knees. His voice is gritty as he moans her name and he feels his erection bumping her belly as he turns to throw her on the bed. 

She bounces a bit and laughs. Reaching out for him, she lays spread across their bed. He trails his hands up her hips, over her stomach, until he’s palming both breasts. His touch reverent, even when he’s primally aroused. Grinning openly, blue eyes glittering, he crawls down her body. He kisses his way lower, lips leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

“Can I taste you, baby?”

“Yes. God, yes,” she nods. “I’ve been thinking about you since I woke up this morning,” she admits. 

He gives her a cocky grin, amorous intent clear. 

She giggles. It’s too innocent for what they’re about to do, been doing. It drives him crazy--the dichotomy of her. “Have you been thinking about me?” 

“I’m thinkin’ ‘bout you all the time. It’s a miracle I can hold down a job. That we have groceries.”

“Hmm, well we need the sustenance.” Fez laughs into her mouth when he comes back up to kiss her. And then he shifts his strong body down the mattress once more. She shivers as he kisses his way south, positioning his head between her legs. She’s writhing against him, needy for his mouth.

Fez pulls one leg over his shoulder, opening her to his mouth. “You fuckin’ drippin’, baby. That all from puttin’ on a show fo’ me?”

“All for you. Always for you.”

She moans the moment his tongue licks through her center. He flicks it against her clit and sucks with the same intention he does everything. He devours her with expertise--well past his ten thousand hours of eating out Lexi Howard. He knows how to make her come. Slow and steady until she’s frantic, desperate for release. Then he works her clit, licking it sweetly one second, sucking it thoroughly the next. And her body fucking sings .

He settles her thighs on his shoulders and licks straight up her slit, groaning the entire way. He’s just as turned on as she is, if not more. He feels himself leaking. Fez fists himself, squeezes to keep himself from coming. His low groan vibrates into her core. “You taste so fuckin’ good, Lex. I could do this until I die. This is how I wanna go. Between these sweet, soft thighs.”

He kisses her pussy, and her hips buck up. He places his arm across her hips, anchoring her to the bed. Lexi tries to hold on to his shoulders while her hips move against his mouth, rubbing herself against his beard. He’d shaved it once and she told him not to do it again--he was handsome either way, but it had utility. 

He feels her thighs clench, the tell orgasm building inside her. She lets out a moan he can feel thrumming in his skull. “Keep doing that. I’ll kill you if you stop, Fezco.” 

He lifts his head and grins at her, “There’s my bossy girl.” His lips are shiny and swollen. Chin covered in her juices. His chuckle vibrates against her core. Her hips start moving faster. 

“Oh fuck, baby. I wanna feel you coming on my tongue. Give it to me, Lex. Give it to me.” He doesn’t stop, knowing she’s close. He laves her clit with his tongue, pressing it flat and humming against her sensitive nub. He pushes two thick fingers inside, curling them along the roof of her as he coaxes her climax. Lexi shatters, screaming before panting shallow breaths. He feels a burst of pride every time he makes his normally quiet girl deafening. 

Before she can fully recover, Fez pulls himself up and buries his face in the crook of her neck, kissing and sucking on her milky flesh as she quivers from aftershocks. He runs his tongue over the valley of her tits, licking as he moves further up. He nips at her neck, making her whimper. 

He wraps her in his arms, and she rotates them so she can climb on top of him. Fez pulls her back onto his lap before muttering, “Ride me.” 

She does. Lexi impales herself on him easily, still soaking from her first orgasm. 

He doesn’t know how long she rides him. Seconds? Hours? Days? All he knows is that he feels the knot of pleasure building low in his belly tightening. His breathing is shaky. His hands too--fingertips tingle as he kneads her perfect breasts. She used to be insecure about them--so much smaller than her sisters, but he can’t imagine anything else when they fit so perfectly in his hands. The perfect weight, perfectly smooth, small enough to sway hypnotizingly when she’s bouncing on his dick. 

Her curls fall forward, cascading down. Secluding them further in the veil of her hair. When he’s inside her, nobody exists but them. This is his eighth sacrament. She’s not religious, but he swears he feels like God when he’s inside her. 

Fez reaches through the dark strands and tweaks a puckered nipple as she increases the rocking of her hips. He groans when she cups her own breasts. He squeezes her hips, strokes her thighs, rubs her clit with his thumb. He can’t stop touching her. Can’t hold enough of her in his hands. She releases a contented whimper with each brush of contact.

He changes the angle of his hips and buries his whole length inside her with one rough thrust. Swallows her scream with his mouth. Her pace quickens. His eyes close, dick surrounded with warmth and wetness.

He feels her pussy clenching around him, feels her start moving faster. “You close, Lex?” She nods wordlessly. Her breathing quickens. She’s grinding furiously against him--more than riding. Her hand finds her own clit when his leave to grip her hips to steady her when she starts to tremble. 

“That’s it, Lexi. Give it to me.” She comes apart for the second time, collapsing on his chest, panting for breath. 

As she’s climaxing Fez pumps into her harder, a few uncontrolled thrusts, a litany of mumbled curses. “Oh fuck...fuck...” He digs his fingers into her waist and drives his hips upward, pounding into her until he sees stars too. 

A giddy smile threatens to break free. Everything is so simple between them, so comfortable. She makes it easy for him. He makes it easy for her. He pulls her close, nuzzling into her and kissing the crown of her head. 

As they’re coming down, languid and with no motivation to move from their spot or maybe ever again, a new song drifts over the bluetooth. She poppin she rollin she rollin/ She climbin that pole and/ I'm N Luv with a stripper. Lexi buries her face in her hands as she curls into him overcome with embarrassment. 

“Imma fuckin’ kill him,” Fez mutters as she shakes with laughter.