Chapter Text
*
Winter woke up lying on a rooftop. He jerked awake, his eyes darting about for threats. None within the vicinity. He moved slowly back into position, lying down with his belly against the smooth stone of the rooftop. It was still dark, though the sun was just rising. Heâd lain awake like that all through the night, but at some point he must have fallen asleep at his post. He knew with certainty that he would need to be punished for that later. It was necessary to ensure that it wouldnât happen again. He always made mistakes eventually, no matter how hard he tried not to. It wasnât the programming at fault; he wasnât due a wipe. No, this was his own error. He was HYDRAâs asset, but still an imperfect soldier - that was why he needed punishment so often. He adjusted the scope of the rifle propped on supports in front of him as calls to prayer rose over the city.
Then there was a sound of a rifle shot, and the scene around him changed. He found himself sitting on a worn, patterned blanket covering a bed while his handler removed his uniform, gently helping him ease out of the leather.
âYouâre overheatingâ, the man said.
Winter nodded in agreement. He was aware of that, but heâd had to stay out in the sun to finish the mission. That was the priority. Damage to the asset was secondary to mission success.
He looked down at the bare stone floor. He didnât deserve this. Heâd fallen asleep last night. He needed to be corrected, not looked after. He told his handler this, but the young man with dark brown eyes and close-cropped hair ignored him. When Winter was down to his briefs, his handler sat down on the bed next to him and handed him a flask of water.
âCome on, drink this. Slowly, ok?â
Winter took the flask, making sure to do as he was told instead of downing the whole thing in one go.
âYou should get some rest, Win,â the man murmured.
Winter tensed, expecting his ma- his handler to say that he was going to leave. But instead, Rumlow unlaced his boots and lay down on the bed next to him. âRelax,â he says, running a hand gently through Winterâs hair. âGotta give you Alpha Contact Time, donât I?â
But what about after that? , Winter thought. But he didnât dare to ask for more. Especially when he knew that his handler should be punishing him for endangering the mission.
His Alpha didnât wrap his arms around him like he usually would - it was far too hot for that. Instead, he reached over and picked up a small paper bag.Â
âClose your eyes and open up.â
Winter obeyed, feeling his heart fluttering in his chest. The thing Rumlow placed into his mouth was soft and ovular and Winter recognised it as a date as the sweetness burst over his tongue.
âYou like that?â
Winter hummed appreciatively. It was real food , not the bland liquid rations he was usually given. It has flavor, texture. ButâŚhe didn't feel heâd earnt this. He had messed upâŚ
âStop it, Win.â
Winter immediately stopped chewing and prepared to spit out the reward.
âNo, no. Itâs ok. I mean, I can feel youâŚâ Rumlow hesitated before pointing at his head. â...In here. You did good, ok? You eliminated the mark. You can stop worrying.â
Winter nodded, a little uncertainly. Karpov would have punished him without hesitation if heâd fallen asleep like that. He was glad Zemo drowned him in a sink.
He opened his mouth to accept another date from his mate, his tongue running over the fingers that gently pressed into his mouth. His Alphaâs eyes darkened and Winter could hear his heart beating faster, his breathing growing heavy. He liked where this was going, but he was too hotâŚ
The scene changed again, and Winter felt Rumlow washing his hair in a cool bowl of water, running his fingers from root to tip. Now his mate was following the trails of water that ran down his chest, mingling with the salt of his sweatâŚ
No, still too hot.
Bucky rolled over, kicking his legs free of the tangled sheet, spreading out like a starfish.
He was actually awake this time. The room was dark, but there was sunlight filtering in through the cracks in the closed blinds. The AC had broken a few days ago and the landlord hadnât yet fixed it, so the window was open, bringing with it a sluggish breeze carrying the scent of exhaust fumes and the sound of car horns and people down on the street. He tensed as a siren went past, feeling instantly alert as his heart started racing. Bucky groaned, burying his head under the cool side of the pillow. But even that was too warm.Â
He heard something banging against a wall from next door. It sounded like his mates were moving furniture, but they werenât due to move into the new house for another week yet... Bucky walked out into the corridor, and thatâs when he heard the moans.
âOh Brock, yes, yes, just like thatâŚâ
âCall me âCommanderâ!â
âOnly if you call me âColonelâ!â
âFuck, thatâs not gonna workâŚâ
Bucky smirked in amusement at his mates and stepped into the shower, letting the cold water flow over him. When he was clean and sufficiently cooled down, he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He didnât want to put his arm on yet so he didnât bother to retrieve it from where it was in its case next to the bed. Instead, he walked into the kitchen and saw that Brock was kneeling between Zemoâs legs while Zemo sprawled back on the piano bench.Â
âGood morning, James,â he panted, looking up when Bucky entered the room. âI wasâŚjust teachingâŚ.Brock how to play.âÂ
âNaked?â
âWell, we got a littleâŚah!â, Zemo broke off with a gasp as Brock did something that made his head fall back and his voice drop an octave. â...distracted.â
âOh yeah?â Bucky said, walking over to the kitchen. âWell, do you mind finishing up? I wanna make myself some breakfast.â
At that, Brock moved off Zemoâs dick and turned to face him, wiping slick and precum from his mouth with the back of his hand. âDonât you wanna join us, Win?â
Bucky shook his head. âMaybe later. What round is this, anyway?â
âI dunno,â he said with a shrug, turning back to his Omega and pulling Zemo down onto the floor with him. Zemo laughed in surprise, the sound changing to a groan as Brock bent his head to his cock once more.Â
Bucky shook his head. They were like a pair of teenagers. Bucky was pretty sure he wasnât in the honeymoon phase anymore. At least, heâd stopped feeling like he needed to fuck his mates at every possible opportunity, which had honestly come as a relief. Brock and Zemo, on the other hand, were still going at it night and day and dragging him along for the ride. And sure, he could physically keep up with them, but just because he was a supersoldier didnât mean he had a libido to match his mates. Bucky sighed and poured out his oatmeal, added water and stuck it in the microwave. At least they had each other.
But the moans, growling and the sounds their Alpha was making with his mouth were making Buckyâs cock twitch with interest and he clenched his fist, willing himself to calm down.
Twenty secondsâŚ
The lewd slurping continued, punctuated by Zemoâs wanton moans and the appreciative growling of an Alpha being satiated by Omega hormones.
Ten secondsâŚ
Bucky groaned and palmed his hard cock through the now tented towel as he stared at the glowing numbers on the screen. Fuck , he could feel Zemo coming through the bondâŚ
FiveâŚ
Oh god , now Brock was coming too, grinding his hips against the floor as he came all over the rug. Bucky closed his eyes, stifling a moan as he felt his skin growing hot as arousal flooded his body.
âJames?â, Zemo slurred. âAre you okay?â
âIâm good,â Bucky managed, opening the microwave door and grabbing the bowl from inside. âJust gonna go eat this and take a shower.â Another one , he added mentally.Â
âAre you sure you donât want-â
âIâm fine! I justâŚneed some space.â
Bucky went into the bedroom quickly and closed the door behind him. He took several long, deep breaths. His cock was still hard, but he ignored it. He wasnât even horny. He was still more than satisfied from yesterday. He was glad his two mates had each other or they would have completely exhausted him. He was not used to sharing his brain with two horny animals. He loved them, he really did, but how was he supposed to think with all the noise going on outside and in the next room?
He sat cross legged on the bed and dipped his spoon into the steaming bowl of oatmeal. He ate this most days, but suddenly the food was too plain, and the consistency seemed moist, cloying and lumpyâŚ
No. He spat the mouthful out and set the bowl down on the bedside table. Damn. Better add that to the list . Smoothies, soup, risotto, mashed potato- regardless of their taste, they all reminded him of the so-called âfoodâ heâd been forced to eat in HYDRA.
Bucky sighed. The memories hadnât been this vivid for years, but ever since heâd bonded to Brock all this stuff was coming up again and heâd been much jumpier than usual.
One moment, he was still thinking about the situation logically, as though from the outside, and the next, he felt his heart rate speeding up and his breathing was coming short and sharp. He leaned over his own knees and managed to press his forehead down into the mattress just as the worst of it hit.Â
The overpowering odor of bleach filled his nostrils, and he was watching someone drag the mass of a body across the floor, leaving a wet streak of blood behind. Itâs faceâŚit didnât have a face anymore, but he felt like it was staring at him. Like it knew he was responsibleâŚ
âItâs broken again.â
â Heâs not broken, are you Win?â
He stared at the mop one of the techs had in hand and the water that slopped onto the floor, diluting the blood a dirty pink.
âCome on, let's get you cleaned up.â
He was washed. A bowl of rations was handed to him. He stared at it, and then at Rumlow who was looking at him expectantly. He didnât want to disappoint his mate.
âThatâs my good boy.â
âJames.â
Bucky became aware of Zemo lying on the bed behind him, holding him. He wanted to turn over and cling on tight but he couldnât move.Â
âBreathe with me.â
It was a simple command to follow. Zemo's breath was slowly and deliberately exaggerated and Bucky focused on that, using it as a guide until their breathing began to synchronize. The weight of Zemoâs body behind him was solid and reassuring. It made him feel safe, being close to him like this, like somehow Zemoâs smaller body could contain him. He felt like the fire in his head was being doused with water, a river of calm reassurance washing over him.Â
He lay there for a while in his mateâs arms, slowly feeling himself return to his body. He was sweating, and he shifted slightly to wipe the tears from his cheeks, suddenly feeling angry and frustrated with himself.
âNone of that now,â Zemo murmured. âWhat happened?â
âThe oatmeal,â Bucky replied. âCouldnât eat it.â
âAh, I see. I thought it might have been because we were mating in the other room.â
âMaybe. Iâm not sure.â
âI think it will be better when weâve moved,â Zemo said. âItâs awfully cramped in this apartment with the three of us living here.â
âYouâre telling me,â Bucky said, before lapsing into silence. He closed his eyes and focused in on the bond, still following the rise and fall of Zemoâs chest against his back. He sighed when Zemo began running his fingers through his hair, relaxing into the sensation.Â
âI thought I was getting better,â Bucky said after a moment. The sound came out rough from his dry throat. Zemo handed him a glass of water, and he drank before saying, âItâs supposed to get better over time, right?â
âWell, yes. But itâs not always a linear progression.â Zemo said. âI think we both know that itâs been getting worse for you since Brock came into our lives.â
âMm,â Bucky said in agreement, feeling a pit of dread opening in his stomach about what that might mean.
âIt makes sense,â Zemo went on. âHe was a constant for you when you were in HYDRA, so memories of that time are bound to start coming up now that youâre with him again.â
Bucky could tell that his mate was holding something back. âWhat is it?â
âI really think you should talk to someone about this, James.â
âI thought you were trying to find us a therapist?â
Zemo sighed. âYes, but it is proving to be extremely difficult to find a relationship counselor who is willing to work with us. I mean to say, that I think you should see someone personally.â
Bucky knew that his mate was right. He needed someone who was going to help him unpack everything that was going on in his head. Someone who was good at their job, not some government stooge like Raynor. Someone who actually cared about his well-being and wasnât going to sign him off at the first opportunity.Â
âIâll do it when weâve moved,â he said. âThereâll be someone in Boston I can see. Iâm pretty sure Sam knows a guy.â
âOk,â Zemo said, placing a kiss on Buckyâs shoulder.
They were both silent for a moment. Part of Bucky desperately wanted Rumlow to come in and be with them, but most of him felt like he couldnât deal with being near him right now.
âHeâs just in the shower,â Zemo said, feeling Bucky trying to reach out for their other mate. âI donât think he felt your distress, but Iâm not certain.â
âBut you felt it straight away?â
âYes, of course.â
Bucky sighed. âYouâre right. Something in our bond with him is definitely messed up.â
âYes,â Zemo agreed. âThough I donât know what. I had thought that it might have been something to do with the hormone medicine we used when bonding, but now Iâm not so sure. There seems little evidence to support that in the research that Iâve done.â
âWho knows?â, Bucky said with a sigh. âProbably nothing we can do about it anyway. Whatâs done is done.â
âI donât know about that,â Zemo said thoughtfully. âI wouldnât be so quick to dismiss the possibility that there is something we can do.â
âYou canât change him, Zemo. Believe me, Iâve tried.â
âI disagree.â
Bucky knew that Zemo was going to be stubborn about this, so maybe it was better to let his mateâs stubborn optimism run its course. Heâd thought things would be different, back when he and Brock had first bonded. And they had been different, just not necessarily better. In retrospect it just made it hurt more that Brock cared about him, and yet was still willing to put him through everything he had.
âI know what youâre thinking,â Zemo said. âBut youâre wrong. This is an entirely different situation, and we have the means and the resources at our disposal to find out whatever is wrong with him and fix it.â
âJust donât make him your project. Heâs not gonna like that.â
âAs you say, but you know Iâm not good at letting things go. If I think I can help him, then I will.âÂ
Outside the door, Brock clenched his fists and tore himself away so that heâd stop listening to what they were saying about him.
*
They know thereâs something wrong with me, Brock thought. They know Iâm broken.
The thoughts went around and around his head as he sat in the back seat of the car on the way to his apartment. Zemo was driving and Winter sat in the passenger seat, both of them talking about the upcoming move.Â
They know there's something wrongâŚ
He shook his head.Â
Forget that now, you've got a job to do. Take all those feelings and squash them down so that no one can see them and they can't hurt you no more. Just be normal. Show them that you're ok. Just calm the fuck downâŚ
He wasn't feeling much better by the time he reluctantly opened the door to his apartment. The light had been left on, and the room smelled of cigarettes and spilled alcohol. He glanced at the spot on the wall where his fist had gone through the plaster. He definitely wasnât getting his deposit back now. The TV screen had smashed where he'd fallen into it, and when he bent down to look at it he realized that his Xbox was broken too. Fuck.
"We can get you a new one," Zemo said, leaning over his shoulder.
"Don't need no charity," Brock grunted.Â
"Think of it as a gift, then."
Yeah, but what do you expect in return? Brock thought. Nothing was ever free, and he'd prefer to know the price so he knew what he was getting into. He propped the monitor up and pressed the power button without much hope, but to his surprise it flared into life. Huh. Maybe he could get it repaired.
He watched as Winter looked around the room. His Beta had barely spoken to him today. It was like he was avoiding him for some reason. He didnât think heâd done anything, but maybe he had and he just didn't know it?
What haven't you done to him? Brock thought. He probably hates you. Who are you kidding; he definitely hates you. He won't even look at you. You don't deserve him, or the Baron. They're better off without you.
Winter walked into the kitchen and Brock scrambled to his feet at the sound of the cupboard opening. "Hey, wait a minuteâŚ"Â
He moved behind Winter, reaching out as though to stop him, but it was too late. His mate was already staring at the contents. A mess of empty bottles - vodka mostly, but a few bottles of cheap rum and whiskey too - had been shoved in there out of sight.
"Why did you keep all these?", Winter asked.
Brock shrugged. He didn't have an answer that made sense. It was just a habit after years of HYDRA performing house inspections. He couldn't have them finding out how weak he was if they decided to go through his trash.Â
"I'll get a bag," Brock mumbled.
"Hey, it's ok," Winter said, catching his arm. "You don't need to be ashamed."
He hates you.Â
"I'm not," Brock growled, tugging his arm out Winter's grip.Â
He walked past his mate to the bedroom and sank down onto the bed.
After sleeping on a couch for the last month, it was nice to be back in his own bed. It smelled of himself, even if the cover could use a wash.Â
He got up, pulling out his knapsack from under the bed and began opening the drawers and stuffing clothes into it. He didn't buy much, but he also never got rid of anything, and soon the bag was full.Â
He glanced around the room, and spotted Zemo's blue robe on the floor. "Hey, Baron. You want this?", he called.Â
Zemo came into the room to look at what he was holding. He shook his head. "No, just throw it out.â
"You could wash it."
"It's been covered in slick for weeks Brock," Zemo said, taking it from him and with a look of disgust. "I don't want it."
"But it smells of you."
"You have me, ljubavi . You can scent me whenever you want. You don't need that to remind you."
"...ok."
Zemo bundled it into a trash bag and waded through the mess of clothes, bottles and empty pizza boxes to the window. He jerked the blinds open so that the sunlight streamed in. "Let's get to work."
*
They'd hired a storage unit, but once they'd cleaned up, Zemo realized that that had probably been unnecessary. Brock really didn't own much, and none of the furniture in the apartment, with the exception of the smashed TV, belonged to him. That left mostly clothes, DVDs, videogames and a large, black lockbox that Brock wouldn't let either of them touch.
"What's in there, Brock?", Zemo asked.Â
"Private stuff," Brock replied, carrying it past them and down to the car. "No guns or nothin'. Just mine."
"Hey, don't look at me," James said to Zemo once Brock had gone. "'I've never seen it before."
Zemo knelt down next to the TV and began packing the DVDs into a cardboard box.Â
Action movies, comediesâŚhe froze when he set eyes on a box set. It was one of those terrible true crime documentary series, but this one was entitled 'Omegas who Kill.' Curious, he pulled the cases out of the sleeve and examined them. He stopped at 'Baron Zemo: The Sokovian Revenger'. Truly, an awful title.Â
Without a word to James, Zemo popped open the case and slipped the disc into the DVD player.Â
When you hear AGGRESSION, when you hear VIOLENCE, when you hear MURDER. you think: ALPHA!Â
Zemo winced at the loud screeching sound effect and turned the volume down.
But in this shocking series, we uncover the cases you'd least expect. This is: OMEGAS WHO KILL!
He noticed that James had come over. âWhatâs that?,â he asked.
Zemo didnât reply, instead he watched as photographs of himself appeared. His mugshot filled the screen as the narrator began listing his, admittedly extensive, crimes. He turned it off with a sigh when they started showing pictures of his family.
There was a moment's silence before Zemo said stiffly, âI remember hearing about this so-called documentary. They tried to interview Oeznik for it. Following its release I started receiving a considerable amount of disturbing and poorly written fanmail.â
âI never watch that stuff,â Bucky said with a look of disgust on his face. âThereâs a ton of Winter Soldier documentaries, and Cap stuff about our unit. Pretty much all of it is a bunch of bullshit.â
Zemo nodded thoughtfully. âIt occurs to me that this is all our Alpha knows about my past.â
âWell, you never talk about it.â
âItâs hardly relevant.â
James sat down next to him on the floor. âYou donât believe that?â, he said softly.
Zemo pressed a button on the player and ejected the disc, returning it to its case. âThere are more pressing matters to deal with, James. Weâre in the process of moving house.â
He stood up and James followed his lead. âAre you ok?â
âIâm fine, really,â Zemo said, but James had already felt his distress and wrapped his arms around him.
At that moment, Zemo heard footsteps in the corridor and Brock rushed back into the apartment. He ran past, ignoring them completely, and after a moment there there was a crash from the direction of the bedroom.Â
*
When they came into the room, Brock was frantically going through his dresser drawers, pulling everything out. He grabbed a small orange pill bottle just as Bucky entered the room.
âWhatâs up, Bones?â
Brock threw the empty bottle away with a growl. âFuck! Iâm out.â
He got up and shoved past them to the bathroom.
âWhat do you need?â, Bucky asked following after him.Â
Brock yanked open the medicine cabinet and began rummaging around inside. âSupposed to take suppressants today, itâs been a month since my last rut.â
âBrock, youâre not going to spontaneously go into rut if you miss a day,â Zemo said to the panicked Alpha.
âYou donât know that!â, Brock shouted, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. âFuck!â
Zemo frowned at him and tilted his head to one side. âI'd been off suppressants for over a month, and I still hadn't had a heat until I forced one."
"You're an Omega, it's not the same!"Â
âOk, look,â Bucky interrupted before Zemo could respond. âHow about Zemo stays here and keeps packing while I drive you to the drug store?â
The Alpha took a deep breath and nodded, still avoiding his gaze. âYeah, alright.â
âGreat, let's go.
*
Bucky glanced at Rumlow, who was rubbing the scars on the left side of his face almost as if he didnât realize he was doing it. Heâd noticed that his mate did that when he was anxious about something, so he didnât comment on it.
âCanât you go any faster?â, Brock asked impatiently.
âIâm going the speed limit, Iâm not trying to get us arrested.â
The Alpha huffed and resumed staring out of the window.
Bucky knew how regimented Brock used to be about taking his rut suppressants and it seemed that nothing had changed. Only now, he had to remember to take them himself.
âZemoâs right, yâknow,â Bucky said after a minute. âIâm pretty sure itâs not gonna come on that fast.â
But Brock seemed not to hear him. âJust pull up there,â he said, indicating a store up ahead. He was opening the door before Bucky had even brought the car to a stop.
He returned a few minutes later looking slightly more relaxed with a paper bag and climbed back into the car.
âAll good?â, Bucky asked.
âYeah,â Brock said, unscrewing the bottle and popping one of the pills into his mouth. He cracked open the can of coke heâd bought and took a swig to wash it down. âI got Quell. Couldnât get Restrainin because they said my prescription was expired.â
âI donât know what that is.â
âTypes of suppressants. Quellâs not as strong so you have to take it twice a day. Swear I almost went into rut on it one time. But better than nothing, I guess.â
âWouldnât be the worst thing in the world if you did go into rut again, Bones.â
Rumlow turned to him, an expression of horror on his face. âWhat? How can you say that? I donât wanna hurt you, or the Baron. Fuck, I donât know what Iâd do if I didâŚâ
âWho said anything about hurting us?â
âYou know why they wouldnât let me be with you when I was in rut?â, Rumlow said. âWhy they used to lock me up?â
Bucky stared at him in confusion. âHYDRA did that to keep us apart.â
âYeah, exactly. So you'd be safe.â
âNo, I mean that they did that because they didnât want me getting too close. Too attached .â
Rumlow nodded. âRight. But Iâd still have hurt you if Iâd been with you in rut.â
âI donât know, Bones. I donât think you should just believe what they told you.â
âI hurt the Baron when I was in rut.â
Bucky fell silent. He didnât have an answer for that, but he also didnât think that the artificial rut hormones had been entirely to blame for the Alphaâs behavior. Brock had done that deliberately to try and push Bucky toâŚ
âItâs too dangerous.â Rumlow said, interrupting his thought. âI donât wanna risk it.â
Bucky sighed. âOk. I guess itâs your decision.â
âWish I could get the stuff they gave us back in HYDRA though,â the Alpha went on. âThey scheduled everything for us, no problem. Took the money for it straight out of our wages. Didnât have to worry about a thing.âÂ
Bucky shook his head in disbelief. âI donât know where to even start with that, Bones."
Rumlow shrugged, as if to say it was no big deal but he wasnât going to argue his point.
âIt wasnât ok,â Bucky insisted. âYou know that, right?â
âI know what they put you through, Win.â
âYeah, but it wasnât just me, was it?â
Rumlow frowned in confusion. âWhaddaya mean?â
âControlling your money, forcing you to take medicationâŚâ
âIt was easier.â
Bucky shook his head. âI donât wanna hear stuff like that.â
âThen donât ask.â
âFine, I wonât.â
Bucky turned back to the road. He tried to focus in on the bond, but all he got back was a buzz of radio static.Â
âWeâre ok, right?â, he asked after a few minutes. âYouâre not mad at me, or something?â
âIâm not mad.â
âSure?â
âSaid so, didnât I?â
Bucky sighed. âItâs gonna be fine. Things will be better when we move.â
âYeah, I guess.â
*
When they got back to Brockâs apartment, Bucky went to the bedroom and started quickly packing the remaining clothes into a suitcase. Being back reminded him too much of the last time heâd been here, and he started thinking about the argument heâd had with BrockÂ
He knew that Rumlow had been trying to rile him up the whole time, but he couldnât stop thinking about some of the things heâd said.
So now youâre coming to me because you need me to fuck your boyfriend. Well, it wouldnât be the first time.
He didnât know if Rumlow had meant what heâd said. If Rumlow had actually⌠been with Steve. Bucky didnât know if that had really happened, or if heâd just been trying to make him mad.
And Bucky still couldnât believe that Brock hadnât told Steve about him. If Brock had been looking for an out back then, surely it would have made sense? But no, he hadnât, for whatever reason. Maybe they hadnât beenâŚclose after all. Or maybe Brock hadnât been looking for a way out until heâd been faced with prison time. He certainly seemed to think that there'd been a lot of good things about being in HYDRA back in the car.
It was really fucking hot. I can see why you liked him. Such a big, sexy Alpha. Bet he made you slick up like an Omega bitch for him.
Bucky closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. He didnât want to think about Steve. He especially didnât want to think about Rumlow and Steve together , because if it was true, then what right had Steve had to chew him out like he had about being bonded to him?
Bucky felt a swell of arousal in the bond and heard indistinct slick sounds coming from the other room.Â
They definitely had a lot to talk about, but unfortunately that was the one thing they werenât doing.
*
Chapter Text
*
Bucky sighed and relaxed back against his mate as he felt Brockâs knot expanding inside him. His Alpha wrapped an arm around Buckyâs waist, covering his flesh hand with his own. He noticed that when they were tied like this, Brock would always hold onto his hands tightly. Zemo was lying on Buckyâs other side facing him, slowly palming Bucky's still-hard cock. He leaned in to kiss Buckyâs bottom lip, before opening his mouth and plunging his tongue in. Bucky moaned, pressing into his Omegaâs hand.
He heard Brock gasp slightly, and grip onto him tighter. "Don't move, 'k?", he said, nuzzling at Bucky's neck.Â
"Okay," Bucky agreed.
Zemo kissed him again, capturing his lips as his skillful fingers stroked him from base to tip.
âDoes that feel good, James?â, he asked.
âMmmâŚyeah. Donât stop.â
âI wasnât planning to.â
As well as his own pleasure, he felt his Omega's satisfaction vibrating through the bond. That morning, Bucky had kissed and licked and bit Zemo while Brock fucked him until he came, Zemoâs cock untouched except for the friction of their two bodies.Â
Bucky tilted his head back for Zemo now, as his mate trailed kisses down his neck. The feeling of stubble brushing against the sensitive skin made him want to buck his hips, but he remembered at the last moment to keep still for the sake of his Alpha. Brock's knot was still keeping them locked together, occasionally pulsing if one of them moved even slightly.Â
Zemo was moving down to mouth at his chest, and Brock leaned into Bucky's neck and began kissing him. He turned his head to his Alpha, offering his lips as his Omega took one of his nipples in his mouth. Bucky felt the bond between them humming and felt Zemo's eagerness as he trailed kisses down Buckyâs body until he reached his cock. He gasped as Zemo licked a broad stroke underneath and over the top until his lips encompassed the head. Bucky moaned shakily as he felt the cock in his ass shift and Zemo took his own into his mouth.Â
Brock growled and gripped onto him tighter, claiming his mouth. As well as heated lips and tongue and the roughness of his beard, Bucky caught fragments of what his Alpha was feeling. It was hard to decipher, but it felt like he was enjoying claiming him.Â
Bucky moaned louder as Zemo swirled his tongue around the head of his cock and looked up at him as he licked him.Â
"Oh, fuck Zemo,â he panted. âI'm gonna comeâŚ"
Zemo took him almost all the way to the root, and Bucky gasped as he felt the warm, wet heat around him and then he was coming hard in his mouth. Zemo swallowed it down, before pulling off and pressing a wet kiss to Bucky's thigh. They were both panting heavily, and when Zemo moved back up to kiss him he tasted himself on his mate's tongue.Â
"I'm going to take a shower now," Zemo said, reaching over Bucky's shoulder to kiss their Alpha.
"Stay," Brock growled.
"No, we have a lot to do today. I want to start getting ready."
Brock was still knotting him, but Bucky could tell that he wanted to grab Zemo and hold onto him, his instinct to keep his Omega with him still strong.Â
"Hey," Bucky said softly as Zemo left the room, "He's only gone next door."
Brock growled against his shoulder and bit him slightly in frustration.
âDon't worry, Iâm not going anywhere,â Bucky said reassuringly, letting his eyes fall closed.
"Got you. You're mine, Winter. My good boy."
"Uh huhâŚ"
"No one's gonna take you away."
Bucky felt his mind drifting to other times when Brock had held him like this. Back when there had been a very real threat of someone finding them and separating them. He tensed as he heard the bathroom door opening.
"Hey, it's ok, Win," Brock whispered. "It's just Zemo."
Bucky nodded, feeling his heart rate speeding up. Brock seemed to notice too, because he said, "Shh it's ok, you're safe. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you."
His mate was here. It was ok, they were safeâŚSo why did he feel like someone was about to come and tear him away from his Alpha at any minute? Why was he worrying about Rumlow pushing him away, telling him to stop bothering him, complain about him messing with his head?
Bucky forced himself to keep still, not wanting to pull on the knot that tied them together. Luckily, he felt it releasing, and he felt himself relaxing slightly in response.
"Win?"
Bucky found himself unable to respond. He gasped slightly as Rumlow eased out of him but he stayed on his side so that he wouldn't have to turn to look at him.
"What's up?", Rumlow asked after a minute.Â
Bucky swallowed. "Nothing. JustâŚmemories, I guess."
"Oh."
It seemed that Rumlow didn't know what else to say to that, so Bucky turned over, forcing his face into a more neutral expression.
"Don't worry, all good," he said, placing a kiss onto Rumlow's cheek. "I'm gonna go take a shower too."
He didn't wait for his Alpha's response before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. Once outside though, he found he needed the wall at his back just to keep his feet under him.Â
Fuckfuckfuck⌠this wasn't supposed to happen. Everything was fine, he shouldn't be feeling like thisâŚ
Bucky wasn't even sure what exactly he was feeling, but Brock kept doing and saying things that put him right back⌠there. Right back in the mindset he'd been in in HYDRA.Â
He was good at starting over. Heâd had to be. Bucky hadnât had a choice about that. After HYDRA fell, heâd survived on the run for years without anyone. And then, heâd been taken to Wakanda and heâd been with SteveâŚ
Bucky shut that line of thinking down quickly before it could spin out of control, and leaned back against the wall with a sigh. His peace never lasted for long. After Steve, thereâd been the war, five years as dust, and then it was back to Brooklyn. And now he had two mates, and he was moving again- so why was starting over this time so hard?Â
Bucky knew that he wanted to be with them, that he wanted to be with Rumlow. That's what heâd always dreamed of, in some form or another. But right nowâŚsometimes he couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.Â
Iâm so tired , he thought. I wish I could just forget about what happened in the pastâŚ
He looked up as the bathroom door opened and Zemo came out of the bathroom wearing a bathrobe.
Without a word, Zemo came over and stood next to him and took his flesh hand in between his two slimmer ones. He was looking at him with such sympathy and understanding.Â
"I'm sorry," Bucky said, running his other hand through his hair. "I'm ruining everything."
"Everything will be alright, James,â Zemo said, putting his arm around him. âTrust me."
Bucky nodded. He knew that Zemo believed that, but right now he just felt so awful.Â
âGo and take a shower,â Zemo said, âI promise you, youâll feel better.â
He sighed. âYeah, youâre probably right.â
âGood. I will make you some breakfast.â
Bucky hesitated at the bathroom door. âNot oatmeal.â
Zemo nodded. âNo, of course not.â
*
Rumlow opened the window in the back of Zemoâs car and lit a cigarette. This was it. They were leaving the city. It would be a four and half hour drive to Cape Cod, but the fact that the Baron almost always drove the speed limit in his silver BMW 7 meant it would be a much faster journey.Â
Brock glanced up at Winter who was sitting in the passenger seat. He looked relaxed, chatting with Zemo and laughing at his jokes, but Brock just somehow knew that something was up with him, even if his mate was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. Heâd started freaking out when they were knotted this morning, which was weird enough, but then heâd just said it was because of 'memoriesâ? What did that even mean?
Brock took a drag on his cigarette and blew smoke out the window as he listened to the Baron talking to Winter about plans for the house.
âItâs secluded, with lots of trees around it,â Zemo said animatedly. âThe back of the property opens onto the woods, but it also overlooks a little cove, and the beach is ours."
Brock already knew all this. Zemo had shown them both pictures online, but none of them had actually seen it in person. It was still kind of hard to believe that it was real. Brock had never lived anywhere like that before. Heâd never even lived in a real house. Only apartments, and before that the trailer heâd grown up in with his family. Thereâd been a short time where heâd lived at his maâs after sheâd split from his Pops, but that hadnât lasted long.Â
"..And there's a little Sokovian bakery within walking distance of the property."
"Did you buy the house because of the bakery?", Winter asked.
Zemo quirked a little smile at that. "Among other things. Iâm sure that weâll all enjoy spending time outside this summer.â
Brock looked out of the window as they drove along the coast. When was the last time I saw the sea? , he wondered. It must have been when he was in HYDRA. Back when he understood Winter completely, and all he had to do was follow orders and he knew that everything would work out okay.Â
His mates were chatting now about their new garden, about how they wanted to build a brick barbeque, or maybe get a small smoker and enjoy meat and fish outside. He closed his eyes and thought about it. He could picture it in his mind: the Baron enjoying a glass of wine in a deckchair and Winter over at the grill, turning some shrimp or wieners. The two of them happily talking to one another, easy and casual as they relaxed in the summer sun.
Yeah, but where do I fit into the picture? Brock asked himself. I canât talk about normal things like that, not after what I tried to do to them. After everything Iâve done, I donât deserve to be part of that.
He felt a pointless rage well up inside him. Low class trash , the Baronâs words still echoed in Brockâs mind; and Zemo was right. Even without all the HYDRA shit, he was still just some kid from a junkyard, a low-life thief -
Brock felt that awful yanking in his brain and opened his eyes to see Winter staring at him from the passenger seat.
âWhat?â he snapped.
âI donât know,â Winter said. âThe bond. You just started⌠I donât know, it was something bad.â
âKeep out of my fucking head, then!â
Winter turned away, and they drove in silence for a few minutes. Brock could feel the bond prickly with flashes of annoyance and disappointment. Heâd fucked up again, and they knew it.Â
âCan we take a break?â Rumlow groaned, rubbing his forehead. âI feel like shit.â
*
They pulled up at a small beachside cafe for lunch and took a seat at a picnic table outside.
Brock ordered a beer and a chicken salad, and picked at it as he turned to watch Winter walk down to the edge of the water. He definitely seemed off. If he'd been acting like this when they were back in HYDRA, Brock would know that some shit was about to go down. But with 'Bucky', who knew?
He turned back to Zemo who was sitting opposite him eating a club sandwich.
"What's up with Winter?", Brock asked. "He's acting like he's pissed at me or something.'
Zemo set his food down. "He's just finding it hard, Brock."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Being with you is hard for him right now because it's bringing up memories that he isn't sure how to deal with."
So it was my fault, Brock thought. He knew he was fucking this up with Winter.Â
"Brock," Zemo said sympathetically, laying his hand on Brock's arm. "It's not your fault. Not really."
Brock pulled away, crossing his arms in front of him. "You reading my mind again, Baron?"
"No,â Zemo said calmly. âI don't need to do that. It's written on your face."
Brock huffed and turned back to look at Winter who was now walking along the shoreline. Brock didn't like how far away his mate was, and he felt like he needed to keep an eye on him to make sure that was safe.
"He'll be fine, moj tigric ."
Brock turned back to Zemo. "What's that mean again?"
Zemo smiled. "My tiger."Â
"Why do you call me that?"
"You remind me of one. The way you growl, and are so protective of us. The way that you're so territorial about your possessionsâŚI could go on."
Brock considered that for a minute before saying. "Tigers are kind of badass."
He watched as Zemo finished eating and stood up. He was dressed in a blue shirt which heâd unbuttoned a little at the top. Brock could see the necklace he always wore resting against his chest. His sleeves were rolled up and his arms were freckled even more than usual from the sun. Brock knew it must have been a long time since heâd been outside during the summer and felt the sunlight on his skin. Heâs beautiful, Brock thought as he stared at his mate. I can't believe he's mine.
Brock stood up and walked around the bench to his mate, before moving in close and wrapping his hands around Zemoâs waist.
The Baron smirked up at him and Brock leaned in to kiss him. Zemo kissed him back eagerly, and Brock tasted the sweetness of the lemonade on his tongue. Unlike James, Zemo had no reservations about public displays of affection. Brock only noticed that Zemo had entwined his finger with his when he pulled back and looked down at their joined hands.Â
Brock remained keenly aware of that fact as they both walked down to the beach together. No one had ever held his hand like this before and it feltâŚstrange. The Baron's hand was warm, smaller than his own but he seemed so sure of himself, like this was easy for him. Like he had no problem just casually taking Brock's hand. Zemo glanced at him briefly and smiled. He didn't want the Baron to think he didn't like this, but he couldn't relax and think about anything else except for the hand in his.
Brock let him hold it until they were halfway there and then he loosened his grip and pulled away. Zemo seemed not to notice and went over to Winter and wrapped an arm around his waist.
*
An hour or so later, they turned off the suburban road into a drive lined with trees and Zemo pulled up the car outside the house. It was a large, gabled building with grey shingle and white trim like a lot of the old houses on Cape Cod. Brock thought that it was probably a lot smaller than the Baron was used to, but as for himself, heâd never lived somewhere that was anywhere near this size.Â
He noticed that in addition to the steps that led up to the front door, there was an access ramp to the left side of the porch. On the deck there were window boxes filled with herbs: oregano, chives, thyme, rosemary and a colourful array of summer flowers, and Brock found himself enjoying the fragrant, earthy scent as they walked up to the house.Â
Zemo stood outside the door and knocked. A man with long grey hair and a beard came to the door dressed in a pink tie dye t shirt and a pair of denim cut offs.
âHey, man. Howâs it going?â, he said.
âGood,â Zemo replied. âI am Helmut Zemo. I assume you are Jerry? Evangeline mentioned you when I spoke to her on the phone.â
The man nodded and motioned for them to follow him inside. âOh yeah, come on in, sheâs just through here.â
They followed him through the front space into the living room. It was a big room with large windows and their footsteps echoed slightly on the wooden floor. It was almost empty of furniture, apart from a record player and a console table, as well a few bookshelves.
Brock watched as Bucky walked over to the record player right away, before running his fingers lightly over the spines of a few records nearby.Â
âHello.â
They all turned to see an old woman in a wheelchair come out of the doorway that looked like it led to the kitchen. Her grey hair was pinned up in a bun and she wore a floral sundress. âYou must be Helmut?â, she said, turning to Zemo with a smile. Brock noticed that she had a British accent.
âMrs. Ipswitch?â
âEvangeline, please,â she replied, taking the Baronâs offered hand and shaking it. She gestured to the record player. âThose were my late husbandâs.â
âOh, sorry,â Winter said, looking down and taking a step away from the console.
Evangeline chuckled. âNo, no. Theyâre for you dear.â
âFor me?â, Winter asked in surprise.
âYes, Helmut said you liked music from the 40s, so I thought youâd appreciate them. I find it easier to listen to music on Youtube these days.â
âItâs not the same,â Winter insisted.
She laughed warmly at that. âYou sound like my Bernard. He wasnât overly fond of modern technology either.â
âJames is something of an old soul,â Zemo said with a smirk, and Winter shot him a look.
âAnd you must be Brock?â, Evangeline asked, turning to him.Â
âYeah, thatâs me,â Brock said awkwardly. He wondered what the woman thought of them, if she knew who they were, or that all three of them were bonded.Â
âWhat do you think of the house?â, she asked.
âUhâŚitâs nice,â Brock said awkwardly. âBig.â
Evangeline looked around at the empty room. âYes, it is rather. Iâve sold or given away most of the furniture, but Iâm afraid I didnât get around to clearing out the basement. Jerryâs been helping me, but there is rather a lot of it still to go.â
Zemo shook his head. âItâs not a problem, we have plenty of time on our hands.â
âWell, Iâll leave you boys to get settled in. If you want to know anything about the local area, you can call me any time.âÂ
Zemo took her offered hand and shook it. Brock half thought he was going to place a kiss on it, but Zemo refrained.Â
âOh, and thank you again for your generous offer, Helmut,â she said. âIt means that I can afford all the renovations on the cottage Iâm moving into, you know.â
âYouâre most welcome. Iâm glad that you were satisfied with the deal.â
âMore than satisfied.â
âThank you, Evangeline,â Zemo said. âI mean that sincerely. I hope you will enjoy your new cottage.â
âIâll see you around, fellas,â Jerry said, before following Evangeline down to the car.
*
âHer late husband was an Omega,â Zemo said, as the car pulled out of the drive. âI mentioned that we were bonded.â
âAnd youâre ok just telling Betas stuff like that?â, Brock asked sceptically.
âWhy not?â the Baron said, tilting his head to one side. âIâm not ashamed.â
âOf course youâre not,â Winter said, slipping his hand around the Baronâs waist. âHave you ever been ashamed of anything in your life?â
Zemo gave him a quick peck on the lips, before saying. âNot that I can recall, no.â
âI canât tell if youâre joking.â
Zemo smiled and took them both by the hand. âCome, letâs do a tour of the house. I want to hear what you both think of it.â
*
A little while later, while Zemo and Rumlow were still exploring the house, Bucky went down to grab their bags out of the car. Most of their furniture would be arriving the next day, so theyâd just packed a few essentials that theyâd need overnight. Rumlow, however, had insisted on bringing some heavy lockbox with him despite Zemoâs assurances that rest of their belongings would arrive at the house with the movers the next day.
Bucky sighed. Heâd hoped that heâd get over the awkward start to this morning, but heâd been finding it hard to be around Rumlow all day. Bucky felt like his mood was just getting worse and worse. Zemo was right; he definitely needed to go talk to someone, see a real therapist.
Maybe if they spent more time actually talking and just hanging out like a normalâŚwell, not a couple, but how bonded mates usually spent time together, heâd feel better. If there was such a thing as normal for them.Â
He opened the trunk and picked up the black lockbox theyâd brought from Brockâs apartment. It was packed pretty full, but things still shifted around inside when Bucky picked it up. Not for the first time, Bucky wondered what was inside it. Some of the items felt like they might be books, but the Rumlow he knew had never been big on reading.Â
Sensing something off in his surroundings, Bucky suddenly looked up to see Rumlow coming out of the house, looking angry as he advanced towards him wearing the familiar ensemble of a black t-shirt and black cargo shorts. Bucky knew that look, it meant heâd done something wrong. Something he wasnât allowed to do. Heâd fucked up, and now he needed to be punished.
"Don't touch that, Winter!" Rumlow snapped.
"Sorry, Sir."
Winter put the box down immediately from where heâd picked it up and took a step away from the trunk. He looked back to his handler for confirmation that this was correct, but Rumlow had stopped and was staring at him.
âWin?â
âIt wonât happen again, Sir.â
âAre youâŚare you fucking with me?â
Winter frowned. âSir?â He glanced at the box heâd put down. Heâd made sure to handle it carefully, but perhaps he hadnât been careful enough, or done it fast enough? Was his handler worried that heâd damaged its contents?
He remained standing there as Rumlow came down the steps towards him. To his surprise his handler stepped closer to him, and reached up to cup his face. âIs it really you?â he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.
Winter blinked. âIâŚI donâtâŚâ He brushed Rumlowâs hand away and stepped back. âNo, this isnâtâŚâ
âHey, itâs ok, Win,âÂ
âDonât call me thatâŚâ Bucky groaned, bending double and bracing his hands against his legs as he forced himself to take slower, deeper breaths. âI canât do this, I needâŚâ
âJames?â, Zemo asked, turning to Rumlow. âWhat happened?â
Rumlow shook his head. âI dunno, he just started acting likeâŚâ
Like the Winter Soldier , Bucky thought. Like the Asset. Fuck, fuck! He needed to get out of there, get awayâŚ
âI didnât do nothinâ, I swear!â
âGive him some space.â
Bucky turned his back on the pair of them and before he knew it he was running in the direction of the woods.
*
That night, Brock curled up on an air mattress in one of the other empty rooms. Winter had returned in the evening, and theyâd had some beers and eaten the takeaway pizza that Zemo had ordered. Zemo had done most of the talking, mostly about his plans for the house, while Winter joined in occasionally. It was obvious the strain it was putting on him, though, being in the room with Brock, and as soon as theyâd finished Brock retreated to one of the empty bedrooms upstairs and stayed there, drinking beer and watching videos of stupid shit on his phone until he was tired enough to sleep.Â
All that kept going around and around his head was the thought that he didnât belong here, and that they didnât want him. He didnât want to hurt Winter just by being here. Winter couldnât even bear to be in the same room as him. Him and Zemo would be happy here , Brock thought. They donât need me, Iâm just messing things up for them .Â
He was seriously thinking about just calling an Uber and getting the hell out of there, when he heard a soft knock on the door.
âBrock?â
It was Zemoâs voice, and after a second the door opened and he stepped into a patch of moonlight. The Omega came over to him wearing a dressing gown and immediately knelt down next to him where he was stretched out on some blankets on the floor.Â
âWhat are you doing up here, Baron?â
âI wanted to come and see you,â Zemo said, placing a hand on his arm. It was probably meant to be reassuring, but Brock shrugged him off.Â
âWhy?â
âI didnât like to think of you in here alone.â
âI donât need you feeling sorry for me,â Brock snarled. âIt is what it is.â
âI know, but I miss you,â Zemo said "I wish you were with us.â
âWell, Winter doesnât want that, does he?â
Zemo sighed. âItâs difficult for him right now, yes.â
âSo why donât you go back to him? Heâs probably lonely.â
âI can feel that heâs asleep,â Zemo said, lying down on the air mattress next to him. âItâs going to be alright, Brock,â he said, stroking his face. âTrust me.â
âIf youâre gonna be up here, no more talking,â Brock murmured, wrapping his arm around the Omega and pulling him close. After a while, Zemo began purring and Brock felt his eyes drifting closed.
*
Chapter Text
*
Zemo sat down with his tea and opened his notebook to the list of therapistâs phone numbers he'd collected. It wasnât as long as heâd hoped. The furniture from Jamesâs apartment had been delivered, but they hadnât bought a desk yet for the room upstairs that he was planning on using as his study. So in the meantime, heâd made a little office area for himself on the coffee table which would suffice.
All of the offices Zemo had managed to track down were located in or around Boston, and many of them explicitly stated that they treated A/O clients. Zemo was under no illusions about the complexity of their case, but he wasnât going to give up until heâd found someone for them. They'd come through too much in the short time theyâd been together to give up now.
Thankfully, James had already agreed to meet with a psychiatrist recommended by Samuel called Doctor Skivorski; apparently he specialized in treating superhumans. He was currently on his way back from the city, and heâd texted to say that the meeting had gone well. Zemo was relieved. James had been worried that this therapist would be no better than Raynor, but this was a positive sign, at least. He made a mental note to ask James how the session had gone. Even if he got nowhere with finding them a relationship therapist today, hopefully James now had some form of support that wasnât only himself or Captain America.
Zemo dialled the first phone number on his list and navigated through the automated system to join the queue of people waiting to talk to the receptionist. He listened to the sound of poor quality piano music as he waited to be put through. Rachmaninoff , Zemo thought with a sigh. Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini. How clichĂŠ.Â
He heard the sound of Brock coming downstairs and a moment later his Alpha opened the living room door. He was entirely shirtless, his muscular torso gleaming with oil and he was wearing only a pair of red swim shorts that left little to the imagination. He had a beer in one hand and a towel thrown over his shoulder, which indicated that he was probably about to head down to the beach.Â
âHey Baron, do ya wanna-â
Zemo made a shushing gesture and indicated the phone in his right hand. The music had cut off and a womanâs voice answered with, âMount West Couples and Individual Therapy, how can I help you today?â
âYes, hello,â Zemo said, unable to take his eyes off his Alpha as he crossed the room towards him. âI was wondering if you had any availability for new patients.â
Brock had now set his beer down on the coffee table and was standing in front of him, making it very hard for Zemo to concentrate.
âWell actually, thereâs three of us. Weâre bonded,â he said, glancing up at Brock who had a look on his face that said he knew exactly how distracting he was being, and he was enjoying every moment of it.Â
Zemo rolled his eyes at his mate as Brock took the hand not holding the phone and placed it on his chest. Zemo bit his lip to suppress any inappropriate sounds he might make, and forced himself to pay attention to what the lady on the phone was saying.
âNo, Iâm perfectly serious,â Zemo replied, the disapproving tone of the womanâs voice cutting through his distraction. Zemo heard Brock growl low in his throat and gestured for him to move back. âWhy would anyone joke about that? Hello?â
He sighed and set the phone down. Sheâd hung up on him.Â
âVery unprofessional,â Zemo muttered.
âWe donât need âem, Baron,â Brock said. âCâmon, letâs go down to the beach. Iâll rub lotion on you.â
âAs tempting as that offer is, Iâd like to make some headway on this,â Zemo said reluctantly.
âSuit yourself, I guess,â Brock said with a shrug, but Zemo could tell that he was disappointed.
âI promise Iâll come down later.â
Brock nodded and picked up his beer from the table before heading out the door.
Thatâs another thing , Zemo thought as he crossed off the phone number. Brockâs drinking habits havenât changed at all since weâve been together. Zemo liked a drink himself, certainly, but he wasnât drinking continuously throughout the day like his Alpha was. From how casual Brock was about it, he didnât even seem to think it was anything unusual, let alone a problem. Zemo supposed that was just another in the long list of things that they would need to address.
Zemo traced his finger under the next number on the list as he typed it into his phone. He got a little further with them and this time they only hung up when it came time to give his name. Quite understandable, really.
He carried on down the list, but most of them wouldnât take on bonded A/O patients. And those that did had long waiting lists.
Zemo eventually got through to a practice that sounded promising, but the first appointment available was in November, and they simply couldnât wait five months.
âThereâs not an earlier consultation?â, Zemo asked. âTo get the process started?â
âNo, Iâm sorry. Weâre fully booked.â
Zemo sighed. âWell, please contact me if any spaces become free.â
He actually managed to get through to one therapist herself, and she listened to his story politely.Â
"Honey," she said as he finished. "You don't need a therapist. You need an exorcist."
This time it was Zemo that hung up the phone.
He set his phone down on the coffee table and took a sip of his tea. That was it. That was the whole list. He scribbled it out in frustration and rubbed his brow. Nobody had even been willing to meet them before writing them off as hopeless. But he wasnât going to give up yet. Heâd just have to look further afield until he found someone whoâd take their case. Online counselling was always a possibility.
His phone vibrated and he picked it up, hoping that it was one of the practices calling him back But instead he opened his phone to see that Brock had sent him a picture of himself. He was at the beach, lying on a towel as he seductively rubbed oil onto his chest.Â
Â
Zemo went into the kitchen and began to prepare a little picnic for the two of them to enjoy, even though he was sure that food was currently the last thing on his mateâs mind. He turned at the sound of his phone buzzing again, rattling loudly on the island counter. He snatched it up, and saw an unknown number. Cautiously, he answered it.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hello there. Is this Mr Zemo?"
"Who's speaking?"
âThis is Stephanie calling from Longbridge Therapy. You inquired about making an appointment with Doctor Musa?â
âYes, I did. And you said that he wasnât seeing any new patients until November.â
âThatâs right, but one of our other counsellors is available, if youâre interested. The only thing is, uh, she's still currently under supervision.â
Zemo thought about this for a minute. âIâd need to know more about her.â
âOf course. Iâd recommend you talk to Doctor Musa, and he can give you more information. Shall I have him give you a call when heâs free later?â
âYes, that would be much appreciated. Thank you.â
âYouâre welcome, have a good day.â
Zemo hung up the phone. He tried to stop himself from getting his hopes up, but after the morning heâd had, heâd take the conversation heâd just had as a small victory.
He turned to the window when he heard a car pull up in the driveway. James had returned from his appointment. He finished packing the food into a cooler just as his mate came in.
âYou make anything for me?â, James asked, coming over and sliding his arms around his waist in an easy hug.
âOnly enough for Brock and I,â Zemo said, giving his mate a peck on the cheek. âBut thereâs some leftovers in the fridge. How was it?â
James nodded. âIt was good, I think. I liked him.â
âDo you think youâll see him again?â
âGot an appointment booked for next week.â
Zemo smiled warmly. âGood. Iâm proud of you for doing this, James. I know that youâve had unfortunate experiences with therapists in the past.â
James huffed and rolled his eyes. âYeah, you can say that again.â
Zemoâs phone vibrated again and he picked it up. Once again, it was a message from his Alpha.
Â
Â
âWhoâre you texting?â, James asked, grabbing a bowl of the chicken salad Zemo had made from the fridge.
Zemo looked up with a smirk. âOh, just Brock. Heâs at the beach. I'm going there now. Do you want to come with me?â
James shook his head. âNo, I think I need to be on my own for a while.â
âOkay,â Zemo said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly before letting his arm fall away. He could feel Jamesâs uncertainty when heâd mentioned their mate. The two of them had barely spoken this past week. To his credit, Brock had tried to apologize, but James, quite understandably, didnât want to hear it. Â
âHe doesnât understand,â James had said to Zemo a few days ago. âHe thinks itâs because he yelled at me, but itâs not. Itâs that he treated me like we were back in HYDRA, and I donât want that. It just makes everything worse. I donât think he knows how not to do that when heâs around me.â
The problem was that it left them in the situation they found themselves in now, where they didnât know how to move forward, and Zemo was put in the position of having to play go-between.Â
âWhatâve you been doing today?â, James asked, interrupting Zemoâs train of thought.
âCalling therapists,â he replied wearily. âI had no luck with most of them, though one is supposed to call me later to recommend someone else.â
âWell thatâs good, right?â
âI suppose we'll see."
*
Zemo took the path down to their little beach and walked over to where Brock was laying on the sand. The oil coating his body highlighted his muscles beautifully as they gleamed in the sun.Â
The Alpha smirked at him and tilted his sunglasses down to look at him. âTook you long enough.â
"I'm not a waitress, Brock."
"You brought lunch though, right?"
"Yes," Zemo said, setting the cooler down and spreading out the blanket heâd brought, before sitting down on it. Brock quickly pounced on top of him and immediately began nuzzling his neck.
âI thought you were hungry?â, Zemo said teasingly as the Alpha began licking his scent glands.
âHungry for you,â his mate said with a grin.
"Oh really?", Zemo laughed breathlessly as Brock unbuttoned his shirt and began kissing his chest. "I'd never have guessed.â
"Your freckles are cute," Brock said. "Need to get you out in the sun more, Baron."
"Well, if this is what I can look forward to during our outings to the beach, I'm certainly not complaining," Zemo said as Brock backed up to give him a kiss on the lips. His mate sucked his bottom lip before plunging his tongue into his mouth.Â
Zemo hummed happily, feeling the weight of his Alpha's hard, muscular body pinning him back onto the sand. But he couldnât keep his mind from wandering to James, imagining that he was also there with them, kissing him and stroking him, caressing Brock and kissing him in turn. He missed all of them being together like they had been at the start, though he had to admit that even that hadnât always been easy.Â
Brock pulled back, looking at him âYou good?â
âMmmâŚyes, itâs nothing. Just a little preoccupied.
âWith what?â
âI was just thinking that James should be here.â
Brock huffed and moved off him to lie at his side.Â
âHe back from therapy?â, he asked.
Zemo nodded. âYes, I just saw him up at the house.â
Rumlow was silent for a moment and then he reached into the cooler bag and began rummaging through it. âIt help him?â, he asked, pulling out a sandwich and unwrapping it.
âI think so,â Zemo said. âHe said that he liked the therapist and that heâs got another appointment booked for next week.â
Brock huffed again and took a bite of one of the chicken wraps that Zemo had made. âYou think heâs gonna speak to me now?â
Zemo sighed and sat up. âI donât know.â
âBecause if he canât even be in the same room as me, I donât think thereâs much point in me being here.â
âWeâve been over this, Brock. He does want you here. We both do, really.â
âI know you do, Baron,â Brock said. âJustâŚnot so sure itâs good for Winter, me being here.â
âI understand what youâre saying, but I truly believe that the two of you can work this out. Though, it will likely be very difficult for you both.â Zemo reached up to brush a stray strand of hair out of Brockâs face. âHe loves you, you know that?â
Brock looked down, avoiding his gaze. âYeah, well, I guess if heâs got someone to talk to it means you donât need to find a therapist no more.â
âWhat?â, Zemo said in surprise. âNo, we still need to go to therapy together.â
âHuh? Why?â
âBecause you and James are barely speaking.â
âNot my fault if he doesnât wanna talk to me.â
Zemo sighed. âIâm not arguing with you about this. Weâre going to therapy.â
âDonât want some shrink getting in my head,â Brock growled. âTelling me that all my Alpha stuff is messed up.â
âWeâre not going to someone like that,â Zemo said seriously. âI promise.â
Brock frowned and took another bite of his chicken wrap. âDonât wanna talk about it no more.â
Zemo nodded. âOkay, fine.â
They both ate in silence for a moment, and Zemo felt himself beginning to relax despite the tense conversation theyâd just had. The sun was warming his skin, and the sound of waves were lapping on the shore. He had two mates, and even if things werenât perfect between them, things were better for him than they had been in so many years.Â
âMaybe I could help you unpack later?â, he suggested. âIt might help you feel a little more settled.â
Brock shook his head. âNah, Iâm good.â
âI thought you liked the bedroom next to ours?â
Brock shrugged. âItâs alright, I guess. I wish it was moreâŚâ
âWhat?â
âI dunno. Itâs kind of far from the front door. I need to know if someoneâs sneaking around.â
âHmmâŚI see. Well, Iâm sure we can think of something.â
Having finished his food, Brock pounced on him again.Â
âYouâre always talkinâ about your plans, Baron. Maybe you should just lay back and relax,â Brock said, his hands unfastening the button of his shorts. âJust take it easy.â
âAs you say,â Zemo sighed, pressing his hips up for attention.Â
Brock slid his shorts down and buried his head between Zemo's legs with a growl. Zemo sighed and let his head rest back against the sand. This was so much easier than talking. It just worked between them, even if not much else did yet. He felt himself melting into the feeling of his Alphaâs lips and tongue, the scratch of his stubble against his thighs.Â
âMine,â Brock murmured against his skin.
âYours, moj tigric ,â Zemo said, winding his fingers into his loverâs dark hair. âIâm yours.â
He gasped as he felt his Alphaâs lips and tongue tease his hole. He was already getting slick for him, and heâd only just started working him open. Zemo brought one hand to his cock and began stroking himself in time with his Alphaâs attentive licks.Â
âMmm, you taste good,â Rumlow growled, looking up at him with dark, glassy eyes. âWanna fuck you.â
âGood things come to those who wait,â Zemo said, a playful smirk on his face as he stroked his cock. He was already getting close, as his mate devoured his ass like he was the most delicious thing in the world. He gasped at the loss when Brock pulled away and knelt up, positioning himself between his legs. But before he could beg, his Alpha thrust into him and Zemoâs orgasm crashed over him, his cock twitching as he spilled himself between them.
âFuck, did you just come from my cock that quickly?â, Rumlow said in disbelief.
âYes,â Zemo panted, the sound changing to a groan as he felt Brock thrust even deeper into him. âPlease give it to me, Alpha. I want it.â
His mate grinned, repositioning himself so that he was lying on top of him. âGonna make you come again before Iâm done with you, Baron.â
Zemo thrust up against him, wrapping his legs around the Alphaâs hips as Brock fucked him, his mateâs well-defined muscles tightening with the effort. It wasnât long before Zemo felt his cock stiffening once more, and he thrust up against Brock, chasing the friction between their bodies.
âFuck, youâre insatiable arenât you?â, Brock panted. âYouâre not even in heat.â
âAre you complaining?â, Zemo said with a smirk.
âNah, just means Iâve got even more reason to make sure I fuck you good.â
And he did, until Zemo felt himself coming again between their bodies, and his Alphaâs body shuddered as he came inside him, filling him up.Â
Zemo felt the knot expanding inside him, and he let out a little whine as it stretched him to reach its full size.Â
âNot too much for you, babe?â, Brock asking, nipping at the scent gland on Zemoâs neck.Â
âAhhâŚjust, let me get used to it,â Zemo gasped. âYou feel biggerâŚâ
âHuh?â
âYouâre not in rut, but it feels big like thatâŚah!â
Brock had thrust forward slightly and the movement nearly made Zemo black out with how overwhelming it felt.Â
âOh fuck, yeah, youâre right,â Brock moaned. âOkay, just keep still.â
âYou can be sure of that,â Zemo panted, willing his body to relax into the feeling. He took a deep breath in, inhaling his Alphaâs smokey, intoxicating scent and felt himself opening up even more for him.Â
âThat good?â, Brock murmured, kissing along his jaw as he pinned Zemoâs arms above his head.
âMmmâŚyes,â Zemo said, feeling himself becoming heavy, pleasure-sated with the afterglow of his orgasm. He felt so close to his mate when Brock held him like this. He swallowed, realizing that his throat was dry from thirst and tried to reach for a bottle of water. He frowned, realizing that he couldnât move because Brockâs hands were around his wrists.
âBrock, I need to get a drink.â
âJust wait a minute, okay?â
âI can reach it, itâs right thereâŚâ
âNo! Donât move your arms!â Rumlow growled in alarm suddenly, tightening his grip.
âOkay,â Zemo said soothingly, alarmed at how fast his mateâs heart rate was suddenly beating. âI wonât. I promise.â
Brock didnât reply, and after a few moments Zemo wondered if his mate was thinking of the time before theyâd bonded when theyâd fought, and heâd hurt Brock by pulling against his knot.Â
âIs it because I hurt you before?â, Zemo asked.
Brock shook his head, avoiding his gaze.
âWhat then?â
âJustâŚfelt like you were gonna do something.â
âI swear to you that I wonât.â
Brock growled and buried his head against Zemoâs neck, nuzzling against him.
âWhat can I do to make this better?â, Zemo said gently.
âNothinâ. Just keep still when weâre knotted.â
Zemo sighed. âIâll try my best.â
Zemo tried to feel through the bond to what his mate was feeling, but there was a curtain of static obscuring the connection between them. He could feel his mateâs breath against his neck, the weight and heat of his body on top of him and his rapid heartbeat becoming calm again, his rich, Alpha muskâŚand yet he couldnât feel what was wrong. It was frustrating, not to know what his mate was feeling, when he knew that he should be able to.Â
Heâd been doing some research into bonding, and heâd come to suspect that their bond really wasnât very strong. It had definitely gotten stronger since theyâd first bonded, but compared to his bond with James it was still very weak and he couldnât rely on it to give him an accurate impression of what Brock was thinking or feeling. But the reason as to why it wasnât strong when theyâd been together a lot and were doing all the things that typically helped improve bonds, was eluding him.
Gradually, he felt his mateâs knot deflating inside him and Brock was eventually able to pull out with a contented sigh. He rolled over and lay next to Zemo, who was finally able to take a drink of water for himself. Obviously, his mateâs reaction to him trying to move was some kind of trauma response, but the cause of it was currently unknown.Â
But now he was just trying to problem-solve, when his mate was lying happy and sated next to him. He turned away from him and snuggled back against him to let Brock spoon him. Now that he was beginning to relax again, Zemo felt the warm vibration of a purr rising in his chest. He was happy being held in his mateâs arms, but it made him feel strangely lonely that Brock wasnât purring in response. Was he not feeling the same way?
âBrock?â, Zemo asked cautiously.Â
âMmhm?â
âWhy donât you purr?â
Zemo felt Brock shrug. âI dunno. I just donât.â
âAre you not happy with me?â
âWhat? Course I am. Donât need to purr to prove that, do I?â
âWell, youâre an Alpha,â Zemo said. âIt should just happen naturally. Itâs not something you can force.â
âYeah, I know that,â Brock huffed.Â
âHave you ever purred?"
Brock was silent for a minute before he said, âI think so.â
âYouâre not sure?â, Zemo asked in surprise.
âItâs kind of hard to tell. Didnât sound like how yours does.â
âBut youâre happy? You like my purring?â
âYeah, itâs kind of nice. Relaxing.â
Zemo smiled. âGood. Iâm glad.â
To his surprise, he felt James was suddenly nearby and sat up to see his other mate running across the sand towards them.
âJames?â, Zemo asked when he drew near.Â
âWhatâs going on?â, James panted. He was wearing only a pair of shorts and his hair was wet. âI was taking a showerâŚI felt something in the bond.â
âWeâre fine. There was just a littleâŚah, unexpected knot swelling.â
Zemo knew that James was thinking of the last time heâd run over and walked in on them like this. He made as if to stand up, but James shook his head. âNoâŚIâm just gonna go back. Like I said, kinda need to be on my own.â
Zemo nodded. âThatâs quite understandable.â
He turned to look back at Brock who was tracing patterns in the sand and avoiding looking at James.
âSo youâre both good?â
âYes, I think so.â
âOk.â
At that moment, Zemoâs phone rang and he picked it up.
âHello, who is this please?â, he asked.
âHello, this is Doctor Musa calling from Longbridge Therapy, is this Mr. Zemo?â
âYes, speaking.â
âPleased to meet you. Are you somewhere that you can talk?â
Zemo glanced at his two mates who were looking at him with curiosity.
âYes,â Zemo said, getting up. He held his hand over the receiver before saying to them both. âJust a moment, Iâll return shortly.â
He began walking towards the sea, putting some distance between himself and his mates so that he could concentrate.
âI can recommend Doctor Thorne,â the Doctor on the line said . âShe is one of the counselors under my supervision. However, I understand that you might prefer a fully qualified psychiatrist, given the complex nature of your case.â
âCan you tell me more about their qualifications?â
âHer doctorate was on A/O bonding and Alpha pack structure,â The doctor said, âAnd sheâs been at our practice for several years while completing her psychiatric training. Youâd definitely be in good hands, but itâs about whether you feel that Doctor Thorne would be the right fit for you.â
âI think Iâd like to talk to her directly about this.â
âOf course.â
*
As Zemo walked towards the sea, Bucky watched him go. He glanced back at Rumlow, who had laid back on the blanket and put his sunglasses on.Â
Should I head back to the house, or wait for Zemo?, he thought. He knew it was important they work through thisâŚthing between the two of them, but he didnât know how to be around Rumlow right now.Â
âSoâŚhowâre you?â, Bucky said awkwardly when it became clear that Rumlow wasnât going to say anything.Â
âOk, I guess,â the Alpha said, not looking at him.
âGreat.â
There was an uncomfortable silence where neither of them spoke, full of all of the things left unsaid between them. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. He could feel himself starting to get stressed out and he knew that he needed to leave.Â
âIâm just gonna go back to the house,â he said quickly. âTell Zemo, ok?â
âUh huh.â
Bucky turned and began walking back up the beach. He inhaled shakily, feeling his hands trembling. How were they supposed to have a relationship when he couldnât even talk to him?
He walked up to the house and went upstairs to the bedroom that he shared with Zemo. He went to the closet and pulled on a blue t-shirt. All of Zemoâs clothes were organized and neatly arranged by color. His ownâŚnot so much. It was stupid, but it made the twist of anxiety in his chest ease up a little just to see their clothes side-by-side. Zemo was really trying here, and BuckyâŚ
Bucky sighed and lay down on his back on the bed. I want to be with Rumlow. Thatâs what Iâve wanted ever since we bonded. I think. I still donât remember that, but I always wanted to be with him in HYDRA, and didnât understand why we couldnât be together.Â
He thought back again to how it had been with Steve in Wakanda. Thatâs what heâd always wanted, back when heâd been a cocky kid from Brooklyn: to be with Steve.Â
Lying in bed, and wishing that Steveâs scent was different; richer, smokier, more like his Alphaâs. Maybe then they could bond. Four years, and heâd never been away from his mate for so long. But Rumlow had hurt him, betrayed him, helped Hydra keep him prisoner for decades. Bucky knew that he needed to forget about him, because he shouldnât ache for him like he did. He told himself that he should just try to pretend that all of it had happened to someone else. Not to him, not to the person he was trying to be now.Â
Bucky remembered Steve stroking his cheek, looking at him with those big blue eyes. âIâm gonna help you get better, and itâs gonna happen for us, Buck. Just like we always wanted.â
Heâd clung to Steve like an anchor because he was something real and familiar when everything else was still so unknown and he barely knew who he was.Â
Itâs not the same thing , Bucky thought. I know who I am now. Mostly. But just because I used to want Rumlow in HYDRA, does that mean that I still want him now?Â
Yes.
Is being with him extremely difficult because of our past?Â
Also yes.Â
Maybe I just need some space from him. Maybe itâs too much for me. I donât know.
ButâŚheâs Zemoâs mate too, and Rumlow obviously wants to be with him. They seem so happy together, and Iâm ruining that.Â
âThey deserve to be happy,â Bucky murmured to himself.
Maybe I should be the one to leave.Â
No, no one has to leave. We can make this work.
Right?
*
Chapter Text
*
Dear Dr. Alice Thorne,
As requested, I have included a brief summary of how I met my two mates, the circumstances of our bonding, how I would characterize my relationship with my bondmates, what led us to coming to therapy and what I hope to gain from these sessions. I have attempted to keep it brief.
As you may or may not already be aware, I met James Buchanan Barnes while attempting to frame him for an act of terrorism I perpetrated, following the death of my family. We were never in close proximity to one another and I was on heat suppressants so there was no possibility of bonding during that time. During the mission to stop Karli Morgenthau and the super soldier terrorist group known as âThe Flag Smashersâ, James and I began a sexual relationship and later bonded.
I met Brock Rumlow when I was experiencing a very intense heat. James was concerned for my well being, and knowing that Brock was an Alpha who knots very easily, brought me to him with my consent. At the time, I did not know that there was a prior bond between the two of them. During this heat, Brock went into rut and we bonded, likely as a result of the bond that already existed between him and James.Â
The bond between us solidified into a tribond several days later.
I would characterize the relationship between myself and James as loving and affectionate. Our bond is strong, and I would do anything to ensure his happiness. I have a good relationship with Brock, though I would have to admit that our relationship is mostly sexual. However, my bond with him is still weak and Iâm unsure of the reason(s) for that.Â
It was my idea that the three of us go to therapy together, because there have been many problems between Brock and James since we decided to move in together. As we discussed previously over the phone, they both have a lot of trauma from being in the terrorist organization HYDRA for many decades. Brockâs presence seems to be exacerbating Jamesâs PTSD symptoms, and he is finding it hard to be around him. Although, James has started seeing an individual therapist as well, which he says is helping.Â
I hope that therapy will help James and Brock repair their relationship, and let us become closer as bonded mates.Â
If you require any more information, do let me know.
Yours sincerely,
Baron Helmut Zemo.
*
To Dr. Alice Thorne,
My full name is James Buchanan Barnes, but I prefer Bucky or James. You probably know me as the Winter Soldier.
I don't remember when I first met Brock, but it was most likely in the early 90s not long after I got handed over by the Russians to the American branch of HYDRA. Brock recently told me that the HYDRA technicians injected me with Omega hormones, and I remember him and the other Alphas fighting in front of me. I also remember them separating me and Brock soon after we bonded, but not much apart from that. I remember feeling happy that he was my mate as well as my new handler.
I first met Zemo after he framed me as part of his revenge against the Avengers. I met him again when I was on a mission with him and Sam Wilson, and we needed to work together. We started sleeping together as a way to relieve stress, but we both quickly realized that it was more than that. In short, I told the authorities that we'd bonded and he moved back to the states with me. He's the first Omega I've ever been with, so it's been a lot to get used to. It's been really good between us, though. Our bond is really strong and now I know what it's like to have a bond that is reciprocated.
I saw Brock again when Zemo went into a heat that was too much for me to handle. I asked Brock to help Zemo and he agreed. After that conversation we slept together. I didn't know at the time, but Brock had taken a drug that triggered his rut to make it more likely that he would bond with Zemo. When Zemo recovered, we brought Brock back to my apartment and soon after that we formed a tribond. Since then, Brock has moved with us into a new place.Â
Our bond isnât great, and weâve obviously got a lot of history together thatâs difficult for us to deal with, but I want to try and make it work. I think that Iâd like to get to a place where I can talk about things with Brock, because right now itâs really hard for me to be around him.
I know that's a lot, but thanks for taking the time to help us.
Regards,Â
Bucky Barnes.
*
To Dr Thorne
The Baron said I have to write an email to you so thats why Iâm sending this
How did you meet your mate(s) and bond with them?:
I met Winter in 1991 and I signed up to bond with him cause I wanted to get promoted to Commander and Pierce said I would if I was his handler. After we bonded he was always trying to get my atention so I had to order him not to. Pierce said that I was only allowed to give him atenttion after a mission as a reward and I was only alowed to mate with him after they got him out of cryo but we didnt always follow the rules.Â
I met Zemo two months ago. Winter showed up at my door and said he neded me to mate with his omega because they hadnt bonded yet so he couldnt help him I said ok and we fucked and then after he left I got realy mad about it. I wanted to fuck things up betwen them so I shot a load of hormons to go into rut and make Zemo bond with me. I dont remember much but Winter was mad at me when he realized and took Zemo home. I could tell they bonded because I had loads of voices and realy weird loud stuff in my head. I got drunk and then they locked me in there basement because they had to go get theyre bond tested. We fucked when they came back and then the voices werent so loud then a week later they asked me to move in with them.
How would you characterize your relationship with your bondmate(s)?:Â
I dont know how Winter feels about me. I like being with the Baron alot and I think he likes it to so thats good
What led you to coming to therapy?:
The Baron said we should go to therapy because Winter is mad at me and wont talk to me feels like Im just making everything worse by being with him.Â
What do you hope to gain from these sessions?:
I want to fix whats going on with me and Winter.Â
From Brock Rumlow
*
Chapter Text
*
Alice set her thermos of tea aside and took a moment to stretch out a crick in her neck before checking the new emails in her inbox. She opened a new document and began making notes. Her supervisor Anthony was right. She might be in over her head. Still, she did like a challenge. After the call with Helmut, it seemed like he and his mates were willing to try anything. Of course, she was aware of who they all were, and she was aware that this needed to be kept - well, even more confidential than usual, for all their sakes. If she was going to try and help them, then trust was going to be of the utmost importance.Â
And despite her natural hesitancy, she knew that she was more qualified than most when it came to bonded relationships. For one thing, most psychologists who specialized in the area were unbonded Betas - or, as they thought of themselves, ânormalâ. And Alice may have been a Beta, but sheâd been happily bonded to her Alpha partner Jia since the age of eighteen, and she knew that gave her a certain valuable insight into A/O relationships.
She scrolled through the email. Helmut said a lot, while at the same time saying very little.Â
James and I began a sexual relationship and later bonded.
He did not explain how he had gone from framing James, to beginning a relationship. However, James included a little more detail:
We started sleeping together as a way to relieve stress, but we both quickly realized that it was more than that. In short, I told the authorities that we'd bonded and he moved back to the states with me.Â
Both of them seemed to be on the same page about how their relationship had started, but James seemed to be implying that theyâd bonded during the mission, while Zemo ambiguously said that theyâd bonded âlaterâ. Maybe she was reading too much into itâŚbut at the same time, it seemed strange that Helmut was being evasive about exactly when theyâd bonded.Â
She sat back in her chair and took a sip of her tea. Her phone vibrated on the desk in front of her, and she opened the message that Jia had sent her. It was of a painting in pastel colours. A surreal tableau including a nude, sunburnt woman next to a swimming pool. She was drawing a pentagram on the tile. A burning house with a dark figure emerged from the doorway and a man on a floating patio obliviously watered the lawn with a hose.Â
Finished the new canvas :)
Looks amazing! Looking forward to seeing it when I get home xxx
Alice smiled, and set her phone down and turned back to the email.
I met Zemo two months ago. Winter showed up at my door and said he neded me to mate with his omega because they hadnt bonded yet so he couldnt help himÂ
From what had Brock written, it seemed like Helmut and James hadnât bonded until sometime after Helmut had been brought to the states. Which logically meant that theyâd both lied to the authorities about the status of their bond. Alice sighed. It wasnât surprising, given the history of these men. She just couldnât believe theyâd gone through with it. They really must have been desperate to bond, perhaps sensing that they were compatible.Â
It seemed like their bond was stable now, as both James and Helmut talked about it positively. Though, James did express some feelings of overwhelm about Helmut being an Omega, which was understandable for a Beta.
So, while their relationship seemed mostly good, it seemed that Brock and Helmutâs relationship was somewhat more mixed. Helmut described it as âgoodâ but âmostly sexualâ, which made her wonder whether they were still in the honeymoon phase of their bond. It was likely that their relationship hadnât yet moved beyond that, since theyâd only met two months ago.
But it was concerning that, despite this, Helmut described the bond as âweakâ. She definitely needed more information about that, and she made a note to bring that up during their initial session.Â
As Alice read on, looking over how they had met, she began to make more notes. It seemed that James had lied about not having any prior bonds, and then brought Helmut to his other mate without informing him. Though, how Helmut felt about that breach of trust, he didnât say.Â
I asked Brock to help Zemo and he agreed. After that conversation we slept together.
Zemo hadnât mentioned that, and Alice was concerned that he didnât know. Brockâs account also corroborated what James had said. It was also clear that Brock had taken something to trigger a rut, which worried Alice from both an interpersonal and legal perspective. But, well, at least Brock and James had been honest about that. It was unclear if Zemo knew, or if he was deliberately omitting information from his account. He seemed to suggest that he thought heâd bonded with Brock because of the Alphaâs prior bond with James, and though that may have been a contributing factor, the hard truth was the hormones Brock had taken were almost certainly the real catalyst.
Looking at the bond between the three of them more generally, what was of the most concern to her - and, thankfully, it seemed, also to the trio themselves - was the relationship between Brock and James.
Brock was very forthright in framing his bonding with Winter as a promotion opportunity, without a word of his feelings for his mate. Perhaps that was an important point: Brock hadnât been able to talk about how he felt for Winter back then. It was unclear whether he had wanted Winterâs attention, or if he was forced to reject it because of the situation theyâd both been in. HYDRA had clearly controlled their sexuality, their bonding behaviour, everything about their relationship that they could.
Alice wondered how responsible Brock felt for his complicity in keeping Winter there. She knew from the files that within HYDRA there had been an Alpha pack structure, with Alexander Pierce at the top as Pack Leader. A structure like that would certainly have made it easy for them to control Alphas lower in the pack hierarchy.Â
Brock recently told me that the HYDRA technicians injected me with Omega hormones, and I remember him and the other Alphas fighting in front of me. I also remember them separating me and Brock soon after we bonded, but not much apart from that. I remember feeling happy that he was my mate as well as my new handler.
It was still shocking sometimes to hear of the extreme measures that HYDRA had gone to to force bonds talked about so matter of factly. There would have had to be compatibility on a basic, biological level, but everything else that went into forging a bond had been forced. And then separating newly bonded mates so that they couldnât spend time strengthening their bondâŚshe shivered at the thought. It was terrible, and pointlessly cruel.
 And despite that, Bucky still described himself as feeling happy that heâd bonded, and in the present described wanting to make the relationship work. It was extraordinary.
At least Buckyâs goal of wanting to be able to communicate with Brock seemed realistic.Â
Brock seemed to feel confusion about his mate, not knowing how he was feeling and believing that Bucky was angry with him because he wouldnât talk to him. Unfortunately, his goal to âfixâ their relationship would probably be a lot harder to achieve.
She agreed with Helmut. They both seemed to have a lot of trauma related to being in HYDRA. Luckily, she was familiar with the HYDRA files and had studied the Alpha pack structure in depth as part of her doctorate. It wasnât surprising that Bucky was experiencing PTSD symptoms around Brock.
I could tell they bonded because I had loads of voices and realy weird loud stuff in my head. I got drunk and then they locked me in there basement because they had to go get theyre bond tested. We fucked when they came back and then the voices werent so loud then a week later they asked me to move in with them
So Zemo and James had managed to bond prior to the bond testing, it seemed. And then afterwards theyâd formed a tribond with Brock. Why they had locked him in the basement though, she couldnât guess.Â
Given the difficulties apparent in their early relationship, she was surprised that theyâd chosen to move in together. But on the other hand, she saw a lot of couples whoâd made commitments as a way to overcome obstacles in their relationship and then found that things werenât as simple as that.Â
*
"Brock, for the last time, no smoking with the window closed!", Zemo snapped.Â
âYou smoke too, Baron,â Brock grumbled.Â
Zemo sniffed. The Alpha smelled agitated and the metallic scent of the rut suppressants heâd just taken tinged his usual scent.Â
âNot inside I donât.â
âLike it makes a difference.â
âI donât want the smell getting into the upholstery.â
âThe seats are leather , howâs that supposed to happen?â
âPlease be quiet!â, Zemo said in frustration. âYouâre distracting me from driving.â
Brock was silent for a moment as he wound the window down.Â
âWhyâre you driving so fast?â, he asked.Â
âThis isnât fast, I just want to be there on time,â Zemo said, glancing in the mirror to meet the eyes of his unhappy Alpha glaring at him from the back seat. âYou made us late enough as it was.â
Brock had spent a long time in the shower that morning, before suddenly disappearing for over an hour. Theyâd eventually found him hiding down in the basement rifling through some of the boxes of old junk, and then they hadnât had long before theyâd had to hurry out the door.
âWhy were you down in the basement, anyway?â, James asked from the passenger seat.
âNone of your business, Winter,â Brock snapped.
James turned back to the front and there was an awkward silence.Â
âFuck. Iâm sorry, ok?â Brock said quickly. He exhaled a cloud of smoke out the window. âJesusâŚâ
âAnd this is why weâre going to therapy,â Zemo said firmly.Â
âI said Iâd go,â Brock grumbled. âI didnât say Iâd be happy about it.â
*
Brock sat in the waiting room, fidgeting with his hands to stop himself picking at the scars on his cheek. He shot a glance at Winter who was sitting next to him with his hands resting in his lap staring into space. To anyone else, heâd look relaxed, but years in the Winter Soldierâs presence told Brock that his mate was alert and completely aware of his surroundings. He doesnât feel safe , Brock thought. A twinge of guilt, and longing for his mate tugged at him. He wanted to make it better, more than anything, but just being here with him seemed to be making it worse.Â
This is a waste of time , Brock thought, and not for the first time. Nothing goodâs gonna come out of this. Too much blood under the bridge, as Jack wouldâve said. Nothing I can do to make it right between us.Â
Zemo returned from filling out some forms at the desk and took a seat next to him. âWe shouldnât have to wait much longer,â he said, squeezing Brockâs leg.Â
Brock nodded silently in acknowledgment, and glanced out of the office window into the parking lot. There was still time. He could just get up and walk out of there right now, save everyone the time and trouble.Â
A girl with glasses and long, red hair eventually approached them. âHello, Iâm Doctor Thorne. I believe you gentlemen have an appointment with me?â
She spoke with a British accent and couldnât have been older than her early thirties. She was tall and dressed in a navy blue blazer, a zebra print blouse and a pair of green high waisted trousers.Â
Our therapistâs a kid whoâs in way over her head, Brock thought. Fucking fantastic. As if this whole thing wasnât already a joke.
The Baron stood up to shake her hand courteously and Brock watched as Winter got up to follow the two of them. Brock sighed and stood up reluctantly. At least he didnât have to worry about a kid like her getting in his head.Â
They followed her down the corridor and into an office and she closed the door behind them. Brock looked around, scanning the layout and possible entrance and exit points. There were certificates on the walls and a desk in front of a window that looked down onto the tree lined park. The room was softly lit, and there was a large, fluffy rug on the wooden floor. Against the other wall was a large, comfortable looking couch with an armchair in front of it. There was a bowl of Hersheyâs kisses on the table next to the couch, as well as some pillows and blankets neatly folded in a wicker basket.
She smells like an Omega , Brock noticed, as he walked past her to the couch. From the look of surprise on Zemoâs face, heâd apparently picked it up too. But no, it wasnât exactly Omega. More like the way a Beta bonded to an Alpha smelled, maybe.Â
âPlease, take a seat,â she said, gesturing to the couch. Zemo took a seat in the middle, James to his right and Brock to his left. There was more than enough room for all of them, but Brock kept to one side and crossed his arms.Â
The shrink took a seat opposite them in the armchair. âIâm Doctor Thorne, but you can call me Alice. As Doctor Musa told you, I specialize in A/O relationships, and I donât mind disclosing that Iâm bonded to an Alpha myself.â
Brock caught Zemoâs eye, and realized that heâd been thinking the same thing.
Alice glanced down at her notes. âAs this is your first session with me, I should inform you that Iâm required to inform my supervisor if you say anything which indicates that you are intending to harm yourself or others. However, anything you say in these sessions, including past illegal activity, is something which I am not at liberty to share, and will be kept completely confidential.â
The three of them nodded, and Zemo said. âYes, we understand.â
Brock felt slightly relieved, knowing that she wasnât planning on telling anyone any of their business. It was hard for him to trust anyone, but heâd give it a shot if it was going to help Winter talk to him.
âI was wondering how I should refer to you,â Alice went on. âYou all used different names in your emails.â
âHelmut is fine. Zemo is also acceptable,â Zemo replied.
âYeah, Bucky or James,â Winter replied.
âBrock.â
Alice nodded thoughtfully. âI notice that you call each other by nicknames as well,â She looked up, and Brock was taken aback by her piercing green eyes. âYou call your mates âthe Baronâ and âWinterâ, Brock?â
Brock stared back at her. âYeah, so?â
She smiled. âWell, I was wondering if those names will be used in these sessions. If your mates are happy for you to use those names in this space?â, she asked, turning her attention to Brock and Zemo.
Zemo shrugged nonchalantly. âI donât particularly mind what he calls me.â
âAnd you, James?â
Winter was silent for a moment, and Brock couldnât bring himself to look at him.Â
âI donât know,â he said eventually. âItâs complicated. Bucky isâŚeasier.â
Alice turned her attention back to Brock. âWould you agree to refer to him that way for our sessions together?â
Brock felt his heart sink, but managed to say, âYeah, I guess. If thatâs what he wants.â
âPerhaps this is a good place to start,â Alice said. âBut please know that Iâm happy to take this session in any direction you choose. This is your time.â
Bucky was the first to speak. âOk, sure. Itâs complicated because I used to like it. Back then it wasâŚspecial, I guess. But now I know he just called me that because he didnât know my real name. And hearing it kind of puts me back in that headspace, of being in HYDRA which isâŚnot great.â
âYou called me âBonesâ sometimes,â Brock interrupted. âThatâs what the other guys on the STRIKE team used to call me.â
âYeah, when you werenât making me call you âSirâ!â Winter snapped.
âNever asked you to call me âBonesâ, you just started doing it.â
Winter scoffed. âOh yeah, like that makes it any better.â
âOkay, Brock. I donât think youâre really listening to what Bucky is saying,â Alice said calmly, before Brock could retort.Â
âIâm listening,â Brock grunted. âCame here, didnât I?â
âThatâs right. Youâre here,â Alice said. âAnd youâre trying to understand your mates. So when Bucky says that name makes him feel like heâs back in HYDRA, what do you take that to mean?â
âIâm not stupid, I know it was fucking awful for him. I donât wanna make Win- Bucky think about that stuff, but that was my name for him.â
âYeah, I know that,â Bucky said, turning to look at Brock for the first time. âThatâs kind of the problem.â
âNah, I mean that it was this thing we shared. No one else called you that, just me. It meant that I could treat you nice and look after you ân stuff.â
âBut you didnât,â Winter said, clenching his jaw.
Brock stiffened in his seat. I did , he thought defiantly. I took care of you and looked after you every day. I tried to protect you. You just donât remember.Â
Unable to say any of this, Brock shrugged and looked away.
âCan we talk about something else?â, Bucky said, looking back at Alice.
âWhatever you like,â Alice said, making a note in her book. She glanced briefly over the notes sheâd made as talking point suggestions, and quickly dashed a line through them.
Bet weâre more of a handful than she was expecting , Brock thought. Bet sheâs gonna drop us after this session.Â
âGreat. Because thereâs stuff I keep thinking about. Things I need to know.â
âWhat do you wanna know?â, Brock asked reluctantly.
âAbout you and Steve.â
Rumlow crossed his arms and sank back in his seat. âOh boy.â
âYou got a problem with that?â
Rumlow shrugged. âJust donât see why youâd want to.â
âBecause I need to know.â
âFine, if itâll make you feel better then go ahead.â
âAre you sure that youâre ok with that, Brock?â, Alice asked.Â
âYeah, âs fine. Just donât wanna upset him.â
Bucky took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth before saying, âDid you say you slept together just to hurt me, or were you telling the truth?"
Rumlow could see how upset Winter was, but instead of reaching out for him he tried to think back to remember what heâd even said. Heâd thrown it in Winterâs face that heâd fucked Steve, so he guessed thatâs what Winter meant.
âYeah, itâs true,â he admitted reluctantly, âI wasnât lying.â
Bucky nodded, and was silent for a long minute before he said. âThat all youâre gonna say?â
âCan I just clarify-â Zemo sat forward, one finger raised. âIs this Steve Rogers youâre talking about?â
âYes.â Bucky said sharply. âMy best friend. My lover.â
The four sat in silence for a moment, Brock glaring out of the window.
âMaybe it would be helpful to ask Brock what you want to know?â Alice suggested.
âYeah, ok. I can do that,â Winter said. âI wanna know - did you just fuck him the one time, or was it more than that?â
Brock hesitated, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. Winter was gonna hate him for thisâŚbut he wanted to know the truth. And Brock owed him that, at least.
âIt was more than that,â he said quietly.
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, we did it more than once. We were kind ofâŚI dunno. It was complicated.â
âWhat, boyfriends? How does that work, when youâre both Alphas?â
âWhat, two Alphas canât have a good time together?â, Brock snapped.
âYeah, but the two of youâŚâ Winter- no, Bucky shook his head. âI just donât get it. He doesnât seem like your type.â
âWhat do you know about my type?â
Winter shrugged. âGuess I donât.â
âHe wasnât my boyfriend,â Brock said after a minute. âHe was just hot. I dunno. I used to have a picture of him up on my wall as a kid, like half of America. I wasnât gonna pass that up.â
âSo you just did it so you could say you fucked Captain America?â
âNah, it wasnât like that. Steve wouldâve hated me bragging about that, and I donât do that shit anyway.â
âBut youâd know.â
âRight, but that wasnât the point. I didnât plan it or nothing, it just kind ofâŚhappened.âÂ
âHow did it happen?â
Rumlow ran his hand through his hair, trying to keep his leg from jittering.
âThis ainât gonna make you feel any better.â
âTell me.â
âFine. We were sparring in the training room at SHIELD headquarters. Pretty much everyone else had gone home. I was gonna go too, but Cap kept saying stuff like âCâmon let's go another round. Iâm not tired,â and I thought, âYeah, because youâre a super soldier.â But I realized after a while that he just wanted to stay because he didnât wanna go home. And it made him seem kind ofâŚnormal. Like, I grew up idolizing him and then when I met him he was justâŚsome guy. This Alpha who was even more lonely than me, because at least I had you and Jack.â
âYou didnât have me, not really.â
âRight, but you know what I mean.â
Winter ignored this, and instead asked. âSo, what, you asked him back to your place or something?â
âDo you really wanna know this?â
âYeah, I do.â
âFine, whatever. So he was pinning me down and telling me to submit and IâŚI knotted for him.â
Bucky stared at him in disbelief. âYouâŚyou what?â
âYeah. You heard me.â
âI donât understand.â
Rumlow fell silent. The silence stretched on, until eventually Alice asked, âDo you want me to explain, Brock? I know that this can be a difficult thing to talk about.â
What would you know about knotting? Rumlow thought angrily. Youâre just some Beta girl, not a real Alpha. Youâve got no idea. But he nodded his head stiffly. He didnât want to have to explain it to Winter.
âWhen a dominant Alpha pins a submissive male Alpha, the Alpha being pinned submission knots for them,â she said. âIt shows that heâs not a sexual rival to the Alpha heâs submitting to. Heâll often want to lay on his back and present his knot to the dominant Alpha. Itâs a way of establishing the pack hierarchy so that everyone can feel secure and know their place.âÂ
âYeah, what she said,â Rumlow mumbled, surprised at the accuracy of her answer. His mind drifted to the memory of the Alpha pheromones in Steveâs scent. He hadnât even meant to submit to him, it was just instinct when heâd been held down by those big, strong hands. Steve had looked down at him at first in confusion, then in dawning understanding, followed by arousalâŚ
âSo youâŚuh, âsubmission knottedâ for him,â Winter said awkwardly. âThen what?â
âThen I gave him a blow job, and then after that we kind ofâŚhad an ongoing thing together. I dunno. Not many people knew. The Widow used to make jokes about it, like sarcastic comments and shit. After Pierce found out, it kind of turned into a way for me to keep an eye on him, make sure he didnât mess anything up before Operation Insight.â
âSo you didn't care what he was to me,â Bucky said. âDidnât you think to tell him that I was alive, so that I could get out of there?â
Brock shook his head. âI know thereâs a load of stuff about you in the HYDRA files that the Widow released, but back then I didnât have clearance for that. I found out way after Cap came out of the ice. I went to the Smithsonian because there was that exhibit on. And then there were pictures of this guy who Cap was apparently real close to - and I realized that it was you . Who you used to be.â Brock shook his head. âIt freaked me the fuck out, because that guy in the film reels, smiling like that? He looked like you, but it wasnât youâŚI didnât know what to do with that. But by then I kind of had to keep this thing with Steve up, because I had orders to follow.â
It was probably some kind of test, Brock realized suddenly. Pierce wanted to see if Iâd remain loyal, or if Iâd turn traitor before the big reveal. I bet they were watching to see if Iâd slip up.
âThere wasnât no point in giving everything up, because HYDRA was gonna win anyway. Didnât think there was anything I could do.â
âYou could have told him,â Winter insisted.
âI guess. But I didnât think it would do any good, and I didnât wanna get you killed by doing something stupid.â
âYou could have done something! â
Brock nodded. âYeah. Probably. Iâm sorry, Bucky. I fucked upâ
His mate blinked and looked away. âYeah, you did. But thanks for admitting that, I guess.â
There was silence for a moment before Zemo spoke slowly. âYou told me that the reason that Captain Rogers left was because you told him you were bonded to Brock.â
Bucky nodded. âYeah, pretty much. He acted like he was disgusted with me, even though it wasnât my fault. Guess he was just like that sometimes. And now knowing he was sleeping with Brock himselfâŚâ He trailed off, and then sighed deeply. âI guess Iâm just angry about that.â
âWasnât fair, him taking that out on you,â Rumlow muttered. âItâs me he shouldâve been mad at. I mean, he was really mad when he came to see me in the hospital. Probably couldnât believe he fell for all that bullshit. He couldnât trust Iâd just given up like that. Didnât think heâd believe me, but I told him where to find you.â
âYou- what?â, Winter said, staring at him in disbelief.
âI knew how close you were. Hell, when you were out of cryo too long you'd start asking for your 'Stevie'. So I knew I could trust him to look out for you. I figured it was better if he found you than Fury or the Widow, or one of the others. So I told him some places he might look.â
âIâŚdonât know what to say to that,â Winter said quietly.
âYeah,â Brock replied awkwardly. There was a few long moments of silence where neither of them looked at each other. Brock noticed that Zemo had taken his mateâs hand.
âWeâre nearly at the end of our first session,â Alice said gently. âThere were a few things Iâd hoped to bring up, but we donât have the time for that now.â
Alice glanced again at her pre-session notes. She hadnât time to ask why Helmut had described his bond with Brock as âweakâ, and why they had locked Brock in the basement, but there was one pressing question she had to ask.
âHelmut, James, I had some problems understanding the timeline of your relationship from your emails. Could you possibly clarify where you bonded?â
Both of the pair remained silent, as though waiting for the other to speak. Then, at the exact same moment, Zemo said, âRiga,â and Bucky replied, âMadripoorâ.
âNo!â, Bucky said quickly, trying to cover his tracks. âHeâs right, it was Riga-â
âPeople donât tend to forget where they bonded, James,â Alice replied. âLook, itâs alright, whatâs done is done. As I said, I wouldnât need to report something of that nature. What we talk about here stays in this room. Just to be clear, am I right in assuming you bonded after you told the authorities that you had?â
âAn astute observation,â Zemo said with a wry smile. Bucky remained silent and looked down at the floor.
âAnd that means that⌠Helmut, you bonded to Brock before you bonded to James?â
âYes.â
Alice nodded. âI see. It seems you two took a lot of risks to be together. That must have been very stressful for you.â
Zemo and Bucky both shared a sympathetic smile, and nodded.
âComing together like this canât have been easy for any of you.â
Definitely an understatement, Brock thought, but remained silent.Â
âThatâs everything for this session,â Alice said. â But I just want to thank all three of you for being so honest with me, and with your mates. I can see how much you care about one another, and I really think we can make some real progress over the coming weeks.â
*
After she showed them out, Alice collapsed on the therapy couch and let out a long sigh. That was definitely not the first session sheâd planned out for her new clients. Sheâd hoped to spend some time getting to know them, learning about their relationship - but it seemed there were tensions they would need to work out before they could even start that. She grabbed her phone and texted her mate:
Please send me a picture of a kitten or something, Iâm having the most stressful day EVER!
*
When they got back, Brock immediately changed into his running gear, and without saying goodbye to them, set off down one of the beach trails.
âThink heâll come back?â, Bucky asked, taking a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island.
âYes,â Zemo said confidently, gathering up the ingredients for dinner and laying them out on the counter. âToday was difficult for him, but he saw it through.â
But Rumlow skipped dinner. He jogged further along the beach than he ever had before, past the marina, beyond where the sand turned into a rocky cliff and the path into a thin, dirt trail. He wanted to exhaust himself to the point where he would just collapse and forget about everything. He desperately tried not to think about Steve, the way those strong hands had held him down and the way those blue eyed flecked with green had gazed into his as Brock felt his knot swellingâŚ
Brock gritted his teeth and shook his head, trying to clear it of the images and the arousal fogging his brain. God, Iâm pathetic. Getting off on knotting like that for him? What the fuck is wrong with meâŚ
He stared out to sea and thought about sex. Not in a way that aroused him, not at all. More like he was trying to figure things out.
It had been fun to sleep with Steve, sure - but as soon as Pierce found out about their relationship, then it had become a way to keep an eye on one of their biggest threats and turned into something ugly that Brock felt no longer belonged to him.Â
He tried not to think about Winter - No, Bucky! Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. His name was Bucky now, and he was fucking it all up by calling him Winter.Â
Brock stopped and doubled over to catch his breath. He couldnât help but think about Winter. His Winter. The man heâd been bonded to for more than half his life. It wasnât complicated back then. Winter had loved him. Everything had made sense. Now, nothing did.Â
Itâs like heâs not even here anymore , Brock thought. Bucky looks like him, but he isnât him. Not really. Heâs gone, and Iâm never going to get to tell him any of the things I wanted to. How sorry I am for everythingâŚ
Heâd loved having sex with Winter, but that had only started because he was the Asset, and bonding him to an Alpha was another shackle with which to bind him. One of the strongest, as it turned out.
Even sleeping with Zemo had been because Bucky needed him to, to save him from the pain of his chemical heat. There was always another reason for it , Brock thought, And there were always lies.
He thought of someone heâd hadnât for a long time, and whom he mostly tried not to think about - the first man he knotted with. If you loved me, youâd be able to knot for meâŚ.
Brock shook his head, hoping to dislodge the memory.
âNo-one wants me ,â he said out loud. It felt like a revelation, but there was no one there to hear it except himself. He understood it all now, he saw the truth. And with it came a strange sense of resolution.Â
He turned around and took the forest path back to the house.
*
Zemo heard Brockâs key in the door, and gave Bucky a reassuring smile.
âSee?â he said, and Bucky squeezed his knee in return. They were snuggled up on the couch, half- watching some show about aliens. James had chosen it, and while it certainly wasnât to Zemoâs taste, he enjoyed watching it with his mate.
Brock walked in, watching the two of them warily.Â
âThereâs some leftover pasta, if you would like it?â Zemo offered.Â
Brock shook his head. âNo. I mean, not now. Maybe later. Thanks.â
âHere,â Helmut said, ignoring Brockâs awkwardness and untangling himself from James. He moved over, motioning to the new space between them. âYou could join us, maybe?â
Brock hesitated for a moment, before nodding in agreement and going over to sit down. He held himself stiffly, acutely aware of every part of his body that was touching his mates; how his thigh was in contact with Buckyâs, how Zemoâs shoulder pushed into his. He stared at the TV screen, but didnât really see the show.Â
Just relax, he thought, tensing as he felt the uncomfortable sensation of static prickling his skin. Nothing bad is happening. Youâre just sitting here with your mates. But there was that noise coming through the bond again, growing louder and louder, and he didnât know how long heâd be able to deal with itâŚ
âBones,â Bucky said softly. âThank you for today.â
âWhat?â, Brock said, barely able to hear over the sound, and the overwhelming sensation of their bodies touching him.
âYou were honest with us. You opened up. It must have been hard for you, and Iâm really grateful you did that.â
âSâokay,â Brock mumbled, feeling the wave of sound and pure, undiluted sensation washing over him. Shut up! Please, just stop!
âEngaging with therapy is a positive step for us,â Zemo added. âYou let yourself be vulnerable-â
âIâm not vulnerable!â Rumlow snapped, standing up suddenly and breaking the connection. He turned to face both his mates. âIâm your Alpha, okay? Yeah, I did this therapy shit to make you happy, and what did I get for it? Winter - Bucky - ripping my head off. Acting like I was cheating on him while he was in the icebox or something!â
âThat wasnât the point at all-â Bucky started, but Brock had already turned and stormed out of the room.
âI donât understand,â Zemo said, a frown of confusion creasing his brow. âEverything was fine a moment ago. He seemed settled with us.â
âThis happens every time,â Bucky said through gritted teeth. âIt looks like things are getting better, then something sets him off and he just explodes.âÂ
Zemo sighed and slid into Buckyâs arms. âI have faith we can pull through this.â
âYeah, well Iâm glad one of us does.â
*
Bucky woke up in the early hours of the morning. It was a warm summer night, and he quietly cursed himself for forgetting to pour himself a glass of water. He got up and crept out of bed, careful not to wake his sleeping Omega, and snuck down the stairs. He paused at the living room door, noticing a faint glow of light underneath it. He realized that Bones must have moved downstairs, instead of sleeping in his bedroom. Zemo had mentioned that their Alpha didnât like the room all that much. He hadnât even unpacked his things yet.
Bucky walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. On his way back to bed, he paused in the hallway outside the living room door.
âWin- Bucky?,â said a quiet voice from inside. âThat you?â
âYeah,â he replied. Heâd thought Rumlow was asleep.
There was a long pause.
âWanna come in?â
Bucky had half a mind to ignore him, and go straight up the stairs. But he didnât. Instead, he cautiously pushed the door open.
Rumlow was curled on the couch under one of Zemoâs blankets, his face illuminated in the glow of the light from the Switch console. Heâd eaten the leftovers theyâd saved for him, and it looked like heâd helped himself to a packet of raw carrots, and several beers too. Bucky stared at him, waiting for an explanation of why heâd been summoned.
Bones seemed unsure what to say too, and just stared at him for a moment and then moved up so that Bucky could sit down.Â
âWanna see my farm?â
âSure. Why not.â
*
âSo after the next harvest, Iâm gonna rip it all out and replant it.â
âRight,â Bucky mumbled, his head resting in his hand. Heâd almost dozed off again.
Brock turned to face him. âHey, Iâm sorry I got mad earlier. Sometimes itâs really loud, okay?â
âHuh?â
âJustâŚâ Bones gestured at his head. âYou know? Itâs all just loudâŚâ he mimed pulling a trigger. âBoom! When we get all close and stuff.â
âDonât know what you mean.â
Brock turned away, shaking his head. âAh, forget it.â
âNo, Bones, I⌠I want to know.â
âDonât matter. Anyways, when I was jogging I thought of somethinâ I want to talk to Alice about. In therapy next week.â
âReally?â Bucky said, trying not not to let the shock creep into his voice. He really expected a fight next time therapy rolled round. He hadnât expected Bones to want to talk about something. âWhatâs that?â
âSex.â
âOh.â
âNo, I donât mean⌠ah, look. Just, people always wanted me to have sex not âcause of me, but âcause of what I got. âCause of my knot, âcause I gotta control someone, âcause I gotta keep an eye on someone, âcause theyâre hurting anâ they need my dick to fix it.â
Bucky sat up properly and stared at his mate. Bones continued focusing on his game, not looking up at him.Â
âI never thought of it like that. ThatâsâŚkind of awful. And yeah, it would be a good thing to talk about in therapy.â
Brock nodded. âYup. That's what I thought.â
Cautiously, Bucky reached out and slid his arm around his mate for a hug. Brock allowed him to do so, but didnât return the affection.
âToo much?â, Bucky asked.
âMmm-hmm.â
Bucky pulled back. âOkay. Want me to go?â
âYep.â
âAlright.âÂ
Bucky got up and walked over to the door. When he reached it, he paused and turned back. âBones?â
âUh huh?â
I love you? I hate you? You frustrate me so much I could scream? I wish we couldâve worked this all out in the daytime?Â
âGet some sleep.â
*
Chapter Text
*
Brock woke up suddenly, his heart pounding. It was still dark, and at first he wasnât sure what had woken him up. Heâd decided to try sleeping in his bedroom again after a few nights on the couch, but maybe that had been a mistake. He glanced around the shadowy room, but nothing seemed out of place. Then his ears fixed on the sound of breathing and he caught Winterâs earthy scent. He felt the bed dip next to him, as Winter climbed up and lay next to him. The bedroom was so dark he couldnât see the expression on his face.
âWhatâre you-â
âPlease donât say anythingâ, Winter murmured, nuzzling at his neck. âI canât talk right now. I just need you.â
Brock didnât know what to make of this. All day long Winter had wanted nothing to do with him, and now here he was sneaking into his room in the middle of the night.
âOkay.â
Winter climbed on top of him, and Brock felt his stomach dip as arousal went straight to his groin at the feeling of Winterâs hard cock rubbing against him. His own was stiffening in response, and the friction of his boxers was suddenly too much. But he couldnât move without shifting Winter off him so he let his mate press him back into the mattress as he rubbed against him. With a groan, Winter buried his mouth in Brockâs neck, lips teasing wet and soft, and teeth nipping lightly. Brock let out a growl as Winter placed his hands on his shoulders.
Thereâs no way I could get out of here, if I wanted to escape, he thought. Heâs so strong, he can just take what he wantsâŚ
The thought turned him on and he found himself pressing his hips up against him, needing more. Winter was rutting against him now, hard and fast and Brock felt precum leaking through his briefs.
âFu-â the sound that came from Brockâs throat was cut off by Winterâs desperate kiss.Â
âNo talking, âk?â, he whispered, kissing the tender spot beneath Brockâs ear.
Brock tilted his mouth up to him. Give it to me, Win, he thought as his mate trailed his lips along his jawline. I know I donât deserve it, but pleaseâŚ
Those strong, powerful thighs pressing against hisâŚoh and now Winter was moving down slightly so that he was humping his thigh, leaving Brockâs cock to run against the muscular plain of his abs. Brock wished he could feel the smooth skin of Winterâs chest, electricity sparking between them where they touched. It felt like that sometimes, when they were moving in rhythm. When it felt like they were on the edge of something, and the bond between them was almost humming like a tuning fork.Â
Winter took one of his nipples in his mouth and Brock arched beneath him, biting down hard on his lip to stop a stream of pleas from falling from his lips. He wanted to beg Winter to pull down his boxers and touch him. But he couldnât, and he felt like he was coming apart beneath his mate's touch, keep touching me like this, just keep me like this forever, Win please, Iâm yoursâŚ.
The surge of arousal was building and building with every thrust of Winterâs hips, and Brock gasped as precum leaked needily from the head of his cock. There was need sparking like a faulty current through the bond, and in the darkness Brock could just make out the outline of Winterâs body above him, his eyes reflecting the moonlight when they flickered up to his face.Â
He gripped Winterâs hips, and felt his mate tense before, panting for breath, he jerked and came over Brockâs thigh, hot and sticky.Â
Winter collapsed with a groan, his head on Brockâs chest. âFuck. Sorry.â
âSâokay,â Brock managed, trying to ignore his hard-on.
Win- Bucky shifted off him and lay next to him on the bed. He didnât try to cuddle him, and after a moment he pulled himself into a seating position and began cleaning himself up. He handed the box of tissues to Brock, who took them but made no move to wipe away his mateâs cum.
âYou want me to?â, Bucky asked, gesturing to Brockâs still-hard cock.
âNo!â Brock said quickly. Bucky clearly didnât want to stay and Brock didnât want him to feel like he had to. And after what theyâd just done, Brock didnât know what to think. It was so different from their usual dynamic that it left him feeling like he had no idea who his mate really was.Â
âI really donât mind.â
Brock shook his head. âNah, Iâm good.â
âOkay, then Iâm gonna go,â Bucky said after a few moments had passed.
âYeah. Right.â
Bucky stood and padded over to the door.
âSee you in the morning.â
âYeah.â
Bucky hesitated, as though he was about to say something else, before slipping out and closing the door behind him with a click.
Brock quickly slipped his hand into his boxers and moaned in relief as he wrapped a hand around his throbbing cock. Oh fuck, that was better!
He was messy and covered in sweat and cum, and he knew that he was so close. He worked his cock fast, thumbing the head with each stroke, the other hand tangling in his hair as he arched back into the feeling building inside him, so close, so close nowâŚ.
But there was another kind of pressure pulsing in the base of his cock, and he felt it swelling up bigger and bigger. Subconsciously, almost as if he wasnât in control of his hand, he felt it moving lower to grip the base, stroking that tender swelling bulb andâŚoh fuck, he was knotting!
He groaned aloud in frustration. This was just fucking perfect, wasnât it? He wasnât even going to be able to come now! He palmed his knot, coaxing it until it was fully formed and then he hooked his two fingers into a catch to hold it. At least that was something, that bright, sensitive pressure whenever his fingers tugged at his knot, but he needed someone to tell him to release it, or it would be ages before it went down on its own. His cock twitched and he gasped as a trickle of cum escaped. But it did nothing to relieve the pressure. If anything, his knot felt even bigger than before. Brock whimpered. God, it was so much!
He couldnât bear to touch the shaft of his cock now, it was so oversensitive. So, he helplessly stroked his knot, trying to make it go down so that his body would finally let him come.
He screwed his eyes shut and imagined Winterâs hands on him, his mouth on him, his sweat and scent covering him. Knotting to him, keeping their bodies locked together. All mine, no oneâs gonna take him awayâŚÂ
His hand slipped into Winterâs cum coating his thigh and came away sticky. Without even thinking, Brock brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked. Winter could do whatever he wanted to him; hold him down and cum all over him, and heâd take it. He wanted to be good for Win, Winter would tell him when to come, tell him he was such a good boy and⌠oh fuck!
Brock cried out as the knot suddenly released all at once and he came hard in long, hot spurts over his stomach. He collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted and wrecked, feeling the muscles in his thighs shake. Winterâs come mixed with his own on his skin and there was something primal about being covered in his mateâs scent like this. He felt claimed, like no one else could touch him and somehow it was all ok.
He knew that Bucky was a Beta, not an Alpha, but did it even matter any more? Brock had still just submission-knotted for his mate, and come from it.Â
Wouldn't be the first time though, would it? he thought, remembering the time all those years ago when he'd been injured and Winter had acted all protective of him and Brock's body had justâŚknotted for him. Winter had been so interested, so curious about it and it felt like their dynamic had completely reversed in the best way possible, just for a few hours.Â
He glanced up at the door again. He wished Winter had stayed, he realized. Right now, the idea of falling asleep with his mate in his arms didnât feel too much. Didnât feel like he needed to pull away. He just wanted all of him.
But Winter didnât want him.
Brock knew that wasnât true, but he felt like it was and right now he couldnât convince himself otherwise.Â
He sighed and massaged his knot as he felt it finish going down. He needed to sleep. Maybe this would all make sense in the morning. Maybe he could tell the Baron; it wasnât like all these difficulties they were having were a secret or anything. Zemo was kinda like a mind reader anyway, and he seemed better at figuring out the bond than either of them. He probably already knew, if he wasnât asleep. Brock thought about texting him, but he didnât want to wake him up. Zemo got grumpy if his sleep was disturbed and it was almost 2am. Better to wait.
He picked up his phone and texted Bucky:
Sleep well xxx
*
"So how have you been this week?" Alice asked.
Bucky silently turned to Zemo, who was sitting next to him on the left of the couch. It was a warm day, but heâd wrapped himself up in a light blanket heâd brought with him. Heâd been spending a lot of time on his own the last few days, and even sleeping in the little loft room heâd made for himself above his office.
âDonât look at me like that, James,â Zemo grumbled. âI told you, Iâm fine. Iâve just been feeling a little under the weather the past few days.â
âHe keeps saying that,â Bucky said.
âAre you sure youâre alright to go ahead with the session if youâre feeling unwell, Helmut?â, Alice asked.
âI just need some space,â Zemo said, pulling the blanket around himself. âI donât want to talk much today.â
âAlright, if youâre sure. We can focus more on James and Brock, in that case.â Alice made a few notes in her book before turning her attention to Bucky. âHow have you been this week?â
Bucky nodded. "Uh, yeah, okay. I feel more comfortable around Brock butâŚ"
He hesitated. It was one thing telling his individual therapist his issues with his Alpha, but another thing entirely to say it while Brock was sitting on the same couch as him on the other side of Zemo.
"What do you want to say?", Alice prompted him.Â
"I don't like it when he snaps at us because I feel like it's my fault," Bucky admitted. "Like I've done something wrong and I'm going to get punished."
"Not your fault," Brock mumbled.
"No, I know," Bucky said. "That's something I'm working on with my own therapist. But it does help to hear you say that."
"When does this usually happen?", Alice asked.
Bucky remained silent. It had already taken a lot for him to talk about what was on his mind, and he wanted to hear what his mates had to say.
"It can be any time, really," Zemo said wearily. "If we are watching a movie together sometimes Brock will say something, storm out. Or if I touch his things,even if I'm just trying to clean up a little-"
"Told you I'd do it myself," Brock interrupted. "And yeah, don't like you touching my things."
"So, you don't like Zemo touching your things. Does that apply to Bucky touching them as well?"
"Yeah, but he don't do that."
"Because he's worried about making you angry."
"Yeah."
"Mmm." Alice made a quick note in her book. "Can you talk more about that, Brock?"
Brock shrugged. "Dunno what there is to say. I just don't like them touching my stuff."
"Where are your things in the house? Do you have your own space?"Â
"Yeah, I got a bedroom next to theirs."
"He doesn't use it much," Zemo chimed in. "He's mostly been sleeping on the couch in the living room, but he has moved some of his things down to the basement."
"You keeping tabs on me or something?", Brock grunted.
Zemo tilted his head to one side as he observed Brock. "I don't understand why that bothers you."
Brock huffed and crossed his arms. "Don't like being watched."
"So what I'm hearing is that Brock doesn't have any den space," Alice said.Â
"Any what now?"
"Zemo, you have a nest space I assume?", Alice asked.
Zemo nodded. "Yes, in the loft. Are you saying that Brock needs a room like that?"
"Yes. A space that's just his that he has control over. It helps a lot of Alphas to feel more secure. If they don't have that, it can interfere with their guarding instinct."
"Yeah, I always feel like you're going to take my stuff and move it or throw it out," Brock said.Â
"So perhaps, a permanent den space is needed."
"Yeah, sounds good."
"I'm sure we can figure something out," Bucky said.Â
Alice smiled. "That's good. Hopefully that will help. We can talk more about that in future sessions."
"You said there was something you wanted to talk about, right?", Bucky said, turning to Brock.
"Uhh...oh yeah, right," Brock said, scratching his head. "So, um. I was thinking, after last time about when Winter brought the Baron to me because he was in heat. I'm glad he did now, obviously, but at the time I hated that he did that."
"Why was that?", Alice asked.
"Because Win- Bucky was my mate, and I hadn't seen him for years. It fucking hurt that he just wanted to use me like that."Â
Bucky turned to look at Brock in surprise. He hadnât realized that when his mate had said he felt like people had always used him for sex, that Bones meant him too. And yes, Bucky supposed he had, technically, just been using him, but after everything that Brock had done to him, treating him like he was a thing, not even a real personâŚ
"Are you seriously complaining to me about being used?", Bucky said tightly, clenching his jaw.Â
Brock looked down at the floor.Â
"Is it hard for you to hear him say that, James?", Alice asked.Â
"Yeah. Real fucking hard. It was an emergency, and I was desperate to help Zemo. I don't get how this is suddenly my fault?"
"That's not what I said,â Brock muttered.
"You used me!â Bucky snapped. âYou think I had any say in the stuff that HYDRA made me do? So what if I asked you to do this one thing for me?"
"Yeah, exactly," Brock said. "I owed you. Doesn't mean I wanted to do it."
Bucky stopped as the words sank in. Of course Brock owed him⌠but he didnât want his mate to feel that way, not really. That was how HYDRA had taught them to think, and it was unhealthy. He didnât want to be someone who used other people, someone who saw his mate as an object instead of a person. The idea of that made him feel sick.
â...Okay, yeah, I did use you,â he admitted after a moment. âI was angry with you, and I didnât think about things from your perspective. Iâm sorry about that.â
âSâokay. I guess things worked out in the end.â
"How do you feel about this, Helmut?â, Alice asked, after a moment of silence.Â
"I feel uncomfortable about it," Zemo said, fiddling with the hem of the blanket. "I thought that Brock willingly agreed to mate with me, without caveat. Though, I suppose I'm not surprised that it was a lot more complicated than that."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything," Bucky said. "I know we've talked about it before, but that's what I should've done."
Zemo nodded and wrapped the blanket around himself. âItâs fine. Like you said, weâve discussed this already.â
"It's not just Bucky doing that that I wanted to talk about," Brock said. "Because I was thinking, the whole reason any of this shit happened, why I wanted to bond with him, was because I thought he wouldn't do that to me."
"What do you mean?â Bucky asked.Â
âMy whole life no one ever saw past me being an Alpha," Brock confessed. "Not just in HYDRA, but I guess that was a lot of it. Growing up I was just a problem kid, and then later on I got treated by Betas as basically just a knot."
"I experienced something similar," Zemo said. "Were you also terrified of bonding?"
Brock nodded. "Oh yeah, big time! My first boyfriend used to say how great it would be if I could bond to him but he didn't have to bond to me."
"Why would he say that?"
Brock shrugged. "I dunno, he was an asshole. Point is, I didn't want someone in my head all the time controlling me and making me do shit."
"You can tell me if I'm way off here, but do you think that relationship had an effect on your decision to bond with James?" Alice asked.
Brock blinked. "ErrâŚI dunno. I never thought about it like that before. Maybe?"
"The reason I ask is because in the email you sent me, you mentioned that you 'signed up' to bond with Bucky-"
"Can you say 'the Winter Soldier' or 'the Asset'," Bucky interjected.
"Of course. My apologies, James," Alice said. She looked down at her notes before turning back to Brock and continuing. "You said that you signed up because you were promised a promotion to Commander if you became the Asset's handler."
"Yeah, that's what I was told. Said they wanted me specifically, that I was special. Dunno why they said that. It was probably just bullshit mind games"
"I always wondered why," Bucky said. "Ever since I got out and I got my mind back. For a while I thought maybe you were just ordered to do it, but recently I remembered stuff about you fighting other Alphas in front of me. For me. So, I figured you must have wanted it."
"Yeah, I did want it," Brock said. "Until then I never wanted anything more."
"So you weren't worried about the Asset controlling you through the bond, is that right?", Alice asked.
"Yeah, exactly!", Brock said quickly. "If I bonded to him, I'd never have to worry about that."
"Why did you think that?"
Brock looked over at him apprehensively. I know what he's going to say, Bucky realized, his heart sinking. They used to call me 'it' before we bonded. Like I wasn't a real person, just a tool to be used. The fist of HYDRA.
"Because I didn't think he could feel anything. When I asked the techs- technicians, I mean- how we were gonna bond, they just told me some complicated science stuff that I didn't understand. Just told me to follow orders and let them do their job."
"I'm not ready to talk about that yet," Bucky said quickly, before Brock could say anything else.Â
"Ok, that's fine. We don't have to," Alice said reassuringly. "Only when you're ready to do so."Â
"Thank you. So, you really did want to bond to me, then? It wasn't just the price of promotion?"
"I did, I just didn't know what that meant. Still don't really. Not sure I get it. Like with the Baron," he said, turning to face Zemo. "I like being with you, but sometimes it's just way too much."
Zemo frowned, a look of concern creasing his face. "What do you mean, Brock?"
"Like when you hold my hand or touch me if I'm upset."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you didn't like that. Should I ask next time, or would you prefer I refrain from doing it altogether?"
"It's fine sometimes, so I guess just ask. Same with moving my stuff."
"Okay, thank you for telling me that. While weâre on the topic of consent, there is something I wanted to discuss.â Zemo leaned forward in his seat, meeting Brockâs eyes. âI noticed that when you knot me, you don't want me to move or touch you. Sometimes, this is fine, but I don't always want you to knot me like that. Is this something you always have to do?"
"Ah, that," Brock mumbled, scratching the scars on his cheek. "UhâŚwell. Hmm. Not sure how to say thisâŚ"Â
There was a pause before Brock continued. "My ex - Donny, the guy I mentioned, used to doâŚstuff to me when we were tied together. Hurt me. Not sure if he thought it was sexy or something. Like I said, he was an asshole."
"You never told me," Bucky said, after a moment's silence.
"I did."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Nah, not your fault, obviously. It was a long time ago and youâve got wiped a couple times since then."
"I'm sorry that happened to you, Brock," Zemo said.
Brock shrugged. "Yeah, me too. But I don't need no pity. What's done is done."
The room was silent for a moment before Brock said awkwardly, âWhat, you want me to tell you about it?â
âIf you feel comfortable, then sharing the story might help your mates understand your mindset better,â Alice suggested.
Brock took a few deep breaths and a long drink from his water bottle. âAlright. Iâll tell you about Donny.â
*
Brock finished his story, staring at the floor as he spoke. âSo I didnât give up any names, and thatâs one of the reasons why my sentence was so long. Two years in juvie. âCourse I didnât serve all of it, but thatâs not important right now I guess.â
âBrockâŚâ Zemo said softly, placing a hand on his Alphaâs back. Brock shrugged it off.
âGuess I used up all our precious time talkinâ about ancient history, huh?â
âYouâre right that thatâs all of our time for today, but I think it was important for your mates to understand your early romantic experiences,â Alice reassured him. âAnd it might get worse before it gets better - thatâs a natural part of our healing processes. But youâre working really hard, and I think you can work through this together.â
*
After the three men left, Alice took a deep breath and grabbed her phone.
JIA! Ducklings. Puppies. Hamsters. Something cute, pleaaaaaaaaase!
*
Bucky felt more relaxed after his hike through the woods. Dappled sunlight filtered through the trees, and the sound of birdsong and leaves rustling gently lulled him into a state of calm. Now that heâd had time to think things through, what Brock had told him made a lot of sense, and he realized that he felt better knowing that Brock had more of a reason for wanting to bond with him than a simple promotion opportunity. Somehow that story had never entirely fit with the person that he knew his mate to be. There were plenty of people in HYDRA who would do anything for a promotion, but Brock Rumlow had never seemed like he was one of them. Despite all his complicated feelings about his Alpha and their shared past, Bucky knew that Brock had cared about him, about Jack and the rest of his team, and had been fiercely loyal to them. It made sense now, knowing that they were all the family that he had. Bucky just hoped that, in time, he and Zemo could be that for their Alpha.
He knew that Zemo already had ideas about turning the basement into a den for Brock, and hopefully that would help him feel more secure. Like he actually lived here with them, and wasnât just a guest crashing on their couch.Â
As he came out of the woods and started up the path to their house, he caught the sound of 80s pop music coming from inside. Curious, he opened the door, and couldnât help but grin at what he saw. Zemo was dancing.Â
â~Some boys come and some boys go and thatâs alright you see~â
He had an apron on and a paintbrush in hand, and he was singing along to the song as he painted the stairway a warm vanilla white.
â~Experience has made me rich and now theyâre after me~ James!â Zemo broke off, turning around in surprise. âI didnât hear you come in.â
Bucky smirked, walking over to him. âDidnât want to disturb. You looked like you were having a good time.â
Zemo blushed and set his brush down, wiping his hands on his apron.
âYouâve got a little somethingâŚâ
âExcuse me?â
Bucky reached up to his face and wiped the paint from his mateâs cheek. âGot it.â
He leaned in and kissed his Omega, attempting to press him back against the wall.
âWait, be careful of the paint!â Zemo said, moving so that he was leaning against the railings. âHere.â
Bucky tried again, feeling his mateâs warmth, one hand gripping his waist, the other braced against the banister. Why was it so cute when Zemo wore shorts? The bond between them was humming as he pulled back, staring into his Omegaâs warm, brown eyes. Zemo wound his hand into Buckyâs hair- longer now, he hadnât cut it since theyâd been together- and pulled him in again. Bucky heard himself moan with longing, and felt a wave of arousal go straight to his cock. He pressed against Zemo, burying his head in his neck to inhale his fresh, sweet scent.
âSmell so good,â he murmured, and Zemoâs head fell back as he licked at his scent glands. âI could just eat you up.â
âMy big bad wolf,â Zemo purred, pressing himself against him.Â
Bucky growled and bit teasingly at his mateâs neck. There was the sound of crunching wood and he looked up to see that part of the railing had splintered in his hand.
âOhâŚoops.â
Zemo shook his head, âAh. Donât worry about it, James. I wanted to replace the railings anyway.â
Zemo walked up a few stairs, and then reached out his hand for Bucky.
âCome upstairs?â
To Zemoâs surprise, Bucky picked him up right there and carried him.
His mate directed him not to the bedroom, but to his new office and the stairs that led up to the loft above. Bucky hadnât been up here since Zemo had decorated. It was a wood-paneled room with colorful woven rugs on the floor, and Zemo had since draped fabric around the bed tucked neatly into the corner of the cosy little room. It was piled with pillows and blankets, and he threw Zemo down onto the bed before climbing on top of him.
*
When theyâd finished mating, Bucky reached across and grabbed the box of tissues on the bedside table. Zemo was lying curled up against him, half asleep in a post-sex haze. He felt his mateâs contentment radiating through the bond, and he lay back against the mound of pillows his mate had so graciously placed there, feeling content. The round window was open just a little and the breeze carried the sound of birdsong in the hazy afternoon air.Â
âSo youâre feeling better?,â he asked Zemo, stroking his mussed up hair.Â
âMmm, yes,â Zemo said, nuzzling against his neck. âI donât know what it was, but I feel more myself again.â
âGood,â Bucky said. âI was worried about you. I missed you.â
âI missed you too, James,â Zemo said, closing his eyes. âBut I feel fine now.â
Bucky inhaled his mateâs sweet scent. It was much stronger than usual, but that might have been because they were completely surrounded by blankets and pillows Zemo alone had been using. He looked around the room and noticed that Zemo had hung up a woven, geometric, as well as an oil painting of an old European church square.Â
âIs that Sokovia?â, he asked, gesturing to the picture.
Zemo opened his eyes to see what Bucky was looking at âMm, yes. I found the painting online. Itâs a reproduction of course. The original was destroyed, much like the square itself.â
âDoesnât it make you sad to see it?â
Zemo shook his head. âNo. I grew up in Novi Grad. I have far more good memories of being there than bad ones.â
âYou never talk about that stuff.â
âI know, but let's not talk about it now,â Zemo said, placing a kiss on his clavicle.Â
âBut-â
âSomething else, please James.â
âFine,â Bucky said, tugging a pillow out from underneath him. âWhy do you have so many pillows?â
âItâs a nest, what do you expect?â
Bucky hesitated. He knew that Zemo had been touchy about himself or Brock coming up here, into his space. Nests were a private Omega thing. Maybe not the kind of thing you could just ask about?
âWhatâs wrong, James?â, Zemo asked
âIs it ok that Iâm up here?â
âOf course, I want you here. I like your scent being on it.â
âOh, right. Thatâs good.â
âIn fact, if I could have some of your clothes to create scent layers, that would be ideal.â
âSure, you can borrow whatever you want as long as Iâm not wearing it.â
Zemo hummed, obviously pleased and climbed over Bucky and off the bed. He watched as Zemo began picking his discarded clothes up off the floor and placed them in the nest.
âOh, you mean like worn ones?â, he asked in surprise.
Zemo nodded. âYou wore these on your hike, correct.â
âUh huh.â
âPerfect.â
âButâŚtheyâre all sweaty?â
âSo are you, James,â Zemo said, climbing back onto the bed and lying down on his front. âYouâre getting your scent all over my sheets.â
âYouâre strange, you know that?â
Zemo shrugged. âYouâre just not used to Omegas.â
Bucky shook his head. âNah, not really. There werenât any in HYDRA. Just Alphas.â
âBrock never took your clothes to scent?â
Bucky stared at him. âYouâre kidding, right? Heâd never have been allowed to do that.â Bucky paused to think for a moment before saying, âHe did like my uniform though, but I figured that was just because he wanted to take it off.â
Zemo smiled. âProbably that too,â he said, tracing his hand down Bucky's chest. âWho wouldnât want that?â
âWhere is he, anyway?â
âDown in the basement again," Zemo responded.Â
"I don't know why he likes it down there so much."
Zemo shrugged. "He doesn't like his bedroom."
"Yeah, I noticed."Â
"Maybe he just wants to be on his own."
"Maybe."
Zemoâs hand continued downwards, detouring across his hips to his thigh. Bucky felt his cock stirring with interest again and with a growl climbed on top of his mate.Â
He brought his right hand up to stroke Zemoâs throat as he licked the red mark where heâd bitten his mate. He felt Zemo shiver beneath him and buck his hips up against him as he whispered. âYes, JamesâŚâ
Bucky kept his hand there, feeling arousal crackling through the bond.
âYou really like this, huh?â, he whispered against Zemoâs ear.
âYes,â Zemo moaned, rocking his hips back against Buckyâs hard cock. âPlease...â
âPlease, what?â
âMore, please, James...â
Bucky hesitated. What if it was too much for his mate? He knew exactly how much pressure to exert before someone passed out, but that wasnât the issue. What if he got carried away and did something accidentally?Â
âI will say stop, if itâs too much,â Zemo said. âBut donât feel that you have to, just because this is what I want.â
âNo, I want to,â Bucky said, surprising himself. But he did. This was his Omega and he was going to mate him, claim him. Zemoâs scent was all around him in the nest, turning musky sweet with the smell of sex still on his skin, and he had a sudden urge to cover him in his own scent. âI really do.â
Zemo wriggled underneath him teasingly and Bucky growled and pinned him down, tightening the hand at his throat. âStay still for me, Omega,â he ordered.
Bucky felt a heady surge of desire as his mate obeyed him. He felt strong, powerful. Like he was in control of what was happening. It was a strange feeling, but one that he felt like he could definitely start to enjoy. Obediently, Zemo continued to hold still for him as Bucky lined himself up with Zemoâs slick hole and slid into him with ease.
âThis is what you wanted, huh?â, Bucky asked, as Zemo let out a moan.Â
âYes, ah!â Zemo gasped. âPlease, JamesâŚâ
âYou feel so good,â Bucky growled, biting down on his shoulder as he began fucking into him. âGonna keep you safe like this, all mineâŚâ
He held his mate down, no way he could escape. Zemo felt like he was lost in pleasure as Bucky pounded into him, pressing him down into the mattress. Zemoâs body was out of his control⌠no, not out of control. Zemo was giving himself to him. Submitting. He was for Bucky to do with as he wantedâŚ
Bucky turned Zemoâs head slightly to face him and his beautiful mate looked up at him, his pupils dark with lust, his mouth open, begging for more. âMake me yours,â Zemo pleaded. âTake meâŚâ
Bucky loosened his grip on Zemoâs neck before plunging his fingers into his mouth. Zemo started sucking them immediately, and Bucky felt his throat contracting around him as he took him. If Brock was here, we could fuck our Omega from both ends, Bucky thought, and the idea turned him on so much that he couldnât stop himself from coming. His hips jerked and Zemo moaned around his fingers as he felt his mate filling him up.Â
He pulled out slowly, and lay beside his mate. Only then did he realize that that fantasy had come from Zemo, the bond blurring their thoughts and feelings into one.Â
âIs that what you want?â, Bucky asked as Zemo turned onto his side to face him, his Omegaâs cock hard and red and dripping precum as he palmed it.Â
âYes,â Zemo gasped, his mouth open.
âTell me.â
Zemo licked his lips, hand working his cock from base to tip. He held Buckyâs gaze as he confessed, âI want you to fuck me while our Alpha fucks me.â
âHow?â
âYouâre behind me, fucking me on my hands and knees, and youâre making me take our Alphaâs cock in my mouth. Swallow all of it down.â
âYouâd love that, wouldnât you?â, Bucky said leaning in to kiss him, âTaking us both like that?â
âOh yes, absolutely. Iâd love it,â Zemo gasped. âIâd do it for you, whatever you wanted me to doâŚâ
Bucky wrapped his hand around Zemoâs neck again and the Omega moaned. âWeâd give you all of it, as much as you could take.â
âYes,â Zemo panted. âBoth of you fucking meâŚah!â
Bucky felt the pleasure of his mateâs orgasm swell and then Zemo was spilling over his chest and the sheets between them before collapsing onto his back. His eyes were glazed and he was panting heavily.Â
âI love you,â Bucky said.
âMm, I love you too, James,â Zemo said, pulling him in for a kiss.
They lay next to each other in contentment, feeling their bond vibrating between them. It was always strongest when they were mating and as the flow of thoughts, feelings and sensations began to return to its usual level, Bucky asked, âIs that the kind of thing you fantasize about a lot?â
âYes,â Zemo replied honestly. âI want both of you. I miss that.â
âIâm sorry.â
âNo, I didnât mean that it was your fault. I know how difficult it is to be with Brock still.â
âItâs getting better,â Bucky said. âBut Iâm not quite ready for that yet.âÂ
*
Â
Notes:
The story that Brock tells his mates in therapy is linked here as a one shot.
As you've probably guess, it has a lot of heavy themes so please read the warnings and tags first!
Chapter Text
*
Bucky stacked three of the dusty boxes of books on top of each other and carried them up the stairs. Zemo had already been through them to see if there was anything of interest, but it was mostly books on fly-fishing and fossils, which neither of them were exactly clambering to learn more about. And Bones seemed to struggle with words and didnât really read much at all, except comic books, as it turned out.Â
For his part, Bucky liked fantasy novels, always had. There was something comforting about disappearing into another world when things got bad in the real one. Unfortunately, Evangelineâs husband hadnât been much for them. There were a couple of science fiction pulp novels, but everything felt like sci fi to Bucky these days so he decided to leave them be. Though, he had found a couple of piano books with some songs that he actually knew in them, so that was something.
There were a few things down in the basement that would come in useful, like gardening tools, but theyâd decided that pretty much everything else down here was going to the local Goodwill. When they were done clearing it out, they had a plan to start converting it into a den space for Brock. Theyâd been working most of the morning already, and even with the three of them sorting and carrying stuff upstairs, they hadnât made much of a dent in the hoard.
Brock was happily focused on the task, though, and seemed to be trying to compete with him about how much he could carry upstairs. Obviously he was never going to be able to carry as much as Bucky was, but Bucky wasnât going to complain, especially when his mate was getting all hot and sweaty in a way that was getting pretty distracting. Bucky found himself trying to catch his scent as he passed, and almost dropped the boxes he was carrying when he caught a whiff.
When Bucky came upstairs, he found Zemo lying on the couch. He appeared to be asleep, with a blanket pulled over him despite the heat of the day.Â
Bucky went over to him and sat down on the floor next to him. He could feel his mate dreaming through the bond, but he felt agitated. He was frowning and muttering something that Bucky couldnât understand, and he felt a stab of concern for his mate. He knew what it was like, to feel trapped in a dream that felt more real than the waking world did.Â
âHey, Zemo,â he said, gently shaking his shoulder.Â
Zemo stirred, rubbing his eyes and squinting at him in confusion.
âJames?â, he asked, voice still raspy from sleep. âWhy did you wake me?â
âYou were having a bad dream.â
Zemo glared at him and drew the blanket around himself. âNo, I wasnât actually.â
âOh. I thought I felt something.â
âWell, maybe keep it to yourself next time,â Zemo huffed. âIs it too much to ask for a little privacy?â
âNo,â Bucky said, taken aback. âJust worried about you, thatâs all.â
âForget it.â Zemo said, getting up and stretching.Â
Bucky looked up, a little lost at Zemoâs sudden prickliness, to see Brock come into the room munching on some chips.Â
âHey Baron, whatâs for lunch?â
Zemo shot him an irritated look. âI donât know.â
âI donât want none of that spicy thing with the peppers we had last night.â
âYou didnât like that?â Bucky asked his Alpha. âI thought it was good.â
âYeah, if you like your mouth getting burnt.â
âOh come on!â Bucky said with a grin. âIt wasnât even hot!â
âFelt like my tongue was on fire.â
Bucky remembered how theyâd watched as Brock had grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge and downed half of it.
âYou just canât handle spice.â
âWhatever, Iâm not eating that again. I want something else.â
Bucky turned to look at Zemo. âWhat about Sarma? Those little packages are real good.â
âIâm not your wife, James!â, Zemo snapped. âMake lunch yourself for once!â
Bucky was taken aback, but not entirely surprised. Their mate had been moody the past week, and every time his temper seemed like it would flare up out of nowhere. âI never said- look, Iâll make something ok?â
âI donât want anything,â Zemo huffed. Bucky watched as his mate got to his feet, picking up the blanket heâd had wrapped around him. âIâm tired. Iâm going upstairs. Try to refrain from bothering me.â
Brock turned back to Bucky as their Omega left the room, slamming the door behind him. âSomething I said?â
Bucky shrugged, getting up and walking past him to the kitchen. âNo. I think I just made him mad by waking him up.â
âYeah, he hates that,â Brock said, following after him. âSometimes he falls asleep on my arm but I donât wanna move it in case he wakes up and bites my head off.â
Bucky nodded. He felt like he couldnât keep up lately with how quickly Zemoâs moods seemed to shift, and although he could feel it through the bond it didnât give him any clue why it was happening. Whenever he asked, Zemo was dismissive, saying he was sure it was nothing to worry about, before snapping at Bucky for eating chips too loudly, or for Brock to stop fussing with his hair.Â
Theyâd been sitting on the couch watching a movie yesterday, and Zemo had asked him to get him a blanket because, despite the fact that it was a warm summerâs night, he was feeling cold. Bucky had brought him the woollen one from the living room hamper, but the instant that it touched his skin, his Omega had cringed away from it saying, âUgh, no. This one is all wrong. Get it away, please, James.â
Bucky had been completely taken aback when Brock had gone upstairs and returned with a microfibre blanket that he set on Zemoâs lap. Zemo had thanked Brock and immediately pulled it around himself, purring contentedly. Bucky had stared at Brock in surprise, but the Alpha had simply shrugged and said. âWhat? I pay attention. He likes that one, and itâs got both our scents on it,â a fact which Bucky hadnât even noticed until their Alpha had pointed it out.
Bucky got out the ingredients for spaghetti sauce and began chopping the veggies. Despite the fact that Zemo prepared most of their food, Bucky liked cooking. He wasnât the best at it, but he liked cooking simple things with fresh ingredients and most of all, he liked knowing what was in his food.Â
Brock got a beer out of the fridge and unscrewed the cap. âWatcha makinâ?â
âSpaghetti. That ok?â
He took a swig of his beer. âYeah. I like the way you make it.â
âReally?â
Brock grabbed the bag of chips and began snacking on them. âYeah, tastes good. You use lots of herbs and stuff.â
âWell, Iâm glad I havenât lost my touch.â
Brockâs phone buzzed.
âWhoâs that?â
âThe Baron,â Brock said. âKeeps texting me horny shit. Wanna see?â
Bucky looked up at the phone Brock was holding out to him.
âI think people call it âsextingâ,â Bucky said after a moment.
Brock laughed and began typing out a reply. âYou donât say, grandpa.â
Bucky huffed in response. âHe never texts me stuff like that.â
âMaybe he thinks you donât know how.â
âOh, I know how .â
Brock smirked and took another swig of his beer. âIâll believe it when I see it.â
Bucky tried to smile back but felt it come out more like an uncertain grimace. He wasnât sure how he felt about doing something like that with either of his mates. Weâre not really at that place yet , Bucky thought. As if in answer to his thoughts, a memory briefly surfaced of himself calling Brock and telling him all the things he wanted his Alpha to do to him. It felt like a real memory, but when the hell would HYDRA have let him use a phone?
âYouâre real good with him, you know that?â, Brock said, interrupting Buckyâs train of thought.
Bucky turned to see Brock looking at him.
âI donât know,â Bucky replied. âYou know better than me what he wants sometimes.â
âYeah, but you never get mad at him, when heâs acting like that.â
Bucky realized that Brock wasnât just talking about Zemo.
âIt doesnât make me mad,â Bucky replied. âHeâs gonna be upset or in a bad mood sometimes, but that doesnât mean I donât love him.â
Brock was silent for a minute, before he said quietly. âI know it ainât been easy, me living with you guys.â
Bucky wanted to say, We all live together, youâre not just bunking here, but that wasnât the point of what Brock was trying to tell him.
âThanks for saying that,â Bucky said slowly. âI appreciate it.â
Brock nodded, looking away as he took a swig of his beer.Â
âI know it canât have been easy for you either, after living on your own for so long. I know what thatâs like.â
âYeah, kind of hard when Iâm used to being in my own space.â
âYou know that we want you here though, right?â
Brock smirked. âYeah, I think I finally got that through my thick skull when you guys started ransacking the basement.â
âWell, good.â Bucky paused chopping the onions and looked up at Rumlow. âWait, are we actually having a normal conversation?â
The Alpha shrugged. âI guess so.â
âAlice would be proud of us.â
There was a pause where Bucky looked into his mateâs eyes. Bucky couldnât feel anything through the bond, but when his mate looked at him like that he felt something warm and so comfortingly familiar that he had a sudden desire to put the knife down and let his mate hold him - like Bucky knew he wanted.
Then Brockâs phone buzzed again, and Rumlowâs eyes bulged as he looked at the screen.
âWhat is it?â, Bucky asked.
Rumlow swallowed. âUm, nudes. Like a whole bunch.â
âLemme see.â
He turned the phone around and Buckyâs eyes went wide. âThatâs uhâŚâ
Brock smirked. âYeah, looks like he decided to get his toys out. Thought he said he was going to sleep?â
Bucky picked up the knife and went back to chopping onions. âGuess he decided to do a photoshoot instead.â
âWell, Iâm not complaininââ, Brock said, setting his beer down on the counter and getting up.
âHe said not to disturb him,â Bucky warned.
âYeah, and then he sent me a load of pics of him looking fuckable.â
Bucky sighed. âI wouldnât go up there if I were you. He was pretty clear about that.â
âIâll take my chances!â Brock called back, already halfway up the stairs.
*
Bucky was half done frying the onions when he heard footsteps on the stairs and a moment later Brock came back into the kitchen. He took his seat at the island and took another sip of his beer without a word.
âSo?â, Bucky asked.
âYeah, you were right,â Brock mumbled.
âIâm not gonna say I told you so.â
Brock snorted. âYeah, except you just did. Howâd you know, anyway?â
Bucky shrugged. âThe bond feels really weird right now. Besides, he seemed mad before. What did he say?â
âTold me to go away and quit botherinâ him.â
âHuh, how about that.â
âHe smelled so good âŚI just donât get it.â
âMaybe he just wants space?â, Bucky suggested.
âThen whatâs with the nudes?â
âDonât know.â An idea suddenly occurred to Bucky. âHey, maybe you should send some back?â
âWhat, like, right here?â
âNot in the kitchen!â
âOh, so you can rail our Omega on the kitchen counter but I canât get my dick out to take a picture?â Brock scoffed. âTalk about double standards.â
âNot while Iâm frying onions. Itâs weird.â
âFine, Iâll go to the bathroom.â
When Brock returned, Bucky added the rest of the ingredients to the sauce and turned down the heat a little so they could simmer together.
âHe reply?â, Bucky asked.
Brock shook his head and took another swig of his beer.Â
âWhile youâre here,â Bucky said slowly. âThereâs something I wanna talk to you about.â
âWhatâs that?â
âAbout the other night.â
âYeah, what about it?â, Brock asked, leaning in the doorway.
âIâm sorry for coming into your room.â
Brock shrugged. âItâs not a big deal.â
âJust listen, ok?âÂ
âFine.â
âWell, I was thinking about the stuff you talked about in therapy. How you said people in the past used you for sex because you were an Alpha. It wasnât right, me coming like that and telling you not to say anything. I should have made sure you were okay with it.â
âI was.â
âYeah, but still. I want to make sure youâre good, you know? Same goes for Zemo. I donât want to do anything to hurt either of you.â
âI donât either,â Brock said. âYouâre my mates, I wanna be a good Alpha.â
âOkay, sure. Just so long as you know that you donât have to have sex if youâre not feeling it. Neither of us is gonna mind.â
âI know that.â
âGood.â
Brockâs phone vibrated loudly in his pocket and he took it out.
âWhatâd he say?â, Bucky asked, turning back to the stove to stir the sauce.
ââGet me some juice.ââ
âGet it yourself, fridge is right there.â
âNo, the Baron said âget me some juiceâ.â
Bucky frowned. âWell, I guess get him some then?â
Brock went to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice and went upstairs. When he returned, Bucky was draining the pasta in the sink.
âWouldnât let me in. Said to leave it outside the door to his room, so I did.â
As Bucky plated up the food, he heard Brock mumble something under his breath about âweird Omega shitâ.
âWhat was that?â
âI dunno. Sometimes I think I get him and then itâs likeâŚI dunno.â
Bucky slid the plate across the counter, hesitating before saying, âLike how it is with us?â
Brock shook his head. âNah, itâs different. Itâs an A/O thing, yâknow? When Iâm mating with him my instincts kick in and it just makes sense, but the rest of the time I have no idea what Iâm doing. Like, I didnât even know I was supposed to have a den, so how am I supposed to know whatâs up with him now?â
âYou think itâs an Omega thing?â, Bucky asked, twisting spaghetti around his fork before bringing it to his mouth.
âYeah, heâs up there in his nest,â Brock mumbled. âProbably taken some of my clothes again.â
âHe said he wouldnât touch your stuff.â
âYeah, but Iâm out of boxers so theyâve got to be going somewhere.â
âIâll talk to him,â Bucky said with a sigh. Brock raised his eyebrows at him.
âWhen heâs calmed down from whateverâŚthis is.â
*
After lunch, Bucky drove into the small seaside port that was their local town. He dropped the boxes off at Goodwill and did some half-hearted shopping for DIY supplies before returning home. Brock wasnât in the basement when he came back, and Bucky eventually found him sitting in the hallway outside the door to Zemoâs room. There was an office inside (which the Omega called his âstudyâ) with a wooden ladder that led up to a little attic Zemo had turned into a cozy nest space. Heâd only allowed Bucky up there once since heâd made it his own. Most of the time he slept in their bedroom, but lately heâd been spending more and more time sleeping up there by himself. And currently, the door was closed on both him and Brock, who was leaning against it looking anxious and alert.
âWatcha doing?â, Bucky asked, stopping a few feet from the Alpha.
âNothinâ,â Brock mumbled, fixing his eyes on the wooden floor.
Bucky raised his eyebrows at that. âOh yeah?â
Brock looked up and stared back at him defiantly. âYeah.â
âDoesnât look like nothing.â
âFine,â Brock snapped. âIâm guarding the door, ok?â
âWhy?â
âI dunno. Just feel like Iâm supposed to.â
Bucky looked up at the door that Brock was leaning against. âHe know youâre out here?â
âNo.â
âYes, I do!â, came an angry, though somewhat muffled response from inside.Â
âAnd youâre okay with that?â, Bucky asked Zemo, who was clearly standing just on the other side of the door.
âThe Alpha can do as he pleases, as long as he remains OUT THERE!â
âWellâŚok then I guess. Bones, Iâm gonna keep working downstairs, in case you wanna help out.â
âThanks, but,â Brock gestured towards the door. âHe needs me.â
*
Brock watched as Bucky walked away defeated, and went back to his spot in front of the door. The scent coming from the other side was incredible, fresh and sweet and enticing, but he knew better than to open it. His Omega needed protection, and as good as his intentions might be, heâd be risking a severe biting if he went inside too soon.
He heard a movement from the room and listened intently. His Omega must be shuffling the furniture around. His nest had to be perfect, Brock knew instinctively. And he should be perfect too - after all, the Baron deserved nothing less. Rumlowâs mind drifted to the moment his Omega would let him into the room. What was he meant to do then? Should he follow his instinct to pounce on the Sokovian, shred any clothing he was wearing, fuck him roughly and quickly wherever he happened to be?
The thought was very tempting, but maybe that wasnât right. Maybe bursting in there, half-dressed and hard, would be the wrong thing? What if he offended the Baron, or worse, scared him? The idea of his Omega being afraid of him was almost too much to handle, and he suppressed a whine that tried to escape his throat.
It was obvious now that thatâs what all this had been leading up to, even if Bucky hadnât realized it yet. A heat. Brock had never been with an Omega in heat before. Well, not properly - Zemoâs heat had been artificial during their first mating, brought about by a cocktail of synthetic hormones which pushed his body into an unnatural, overwrought state. This was going to be different. This time, the Baronâs body had decided itself that it was time to enter heat, to allow him to become vulnerable and desperate for his mates. Itâs a good thing, Brock thought. It means he feels secure. But I still donât know what the hell Iâm supposed to do when it happens.
âI gotta keep you safe,â Rumlow mumbled, wondering if Zemoâs scent was being detected by any other local Alphas. He was bonded, of course, but you couldnât be too careful. He knew rationally that nothing bad was going to happen to his mate, but he still needed to guard the door. Just in case.
He straightened up in position. He might not know what would come next, but he knew what to do now. Keeping his Omega safe, from any threat, was all he could do.
 *
Bucky spent the evening on his own in the living room learning a new song on the piano. He still wasnât used to playing with his left hand. It didnât have the muscle memory his right did, but it was learning. Vibranium was clever like that. He stopped, listening to the waves washing on the shore down at the beach. It was so quiet in the house. Not that his mates were loud, exactly, but it was strange how he was used to them being here with him now. He hadnât realized that heâd gotten used to living with people again. Sure, he still appreciated the quiet sometimes, but right now he missed them and didnât want to be on his own.Â
He closed the piano lid and went upstairs. Brock was no longer sitting outside the door but anxiously pacing up and down the corridor.
âWhatâs going on?â
Rumlow growled at him, baring his teeth at him. âNo. Stay there.â
Bucky stopped, shocked at the sudden change in the Alphaâs demeanor. âOkay.â
âMine.â
âHuh?â
âMy Omega.â
Zemoâs not just yours, Bucky thought. Heâs mine too. Ours. Brock used to get territorial of the Winter Soldier, so it was strange to hear the Alpha now warning him away. But he didnât say any of this. Brock clearly had something Alpha-related going on, and it was probably better if he didnât get involved.Â
âRight. Okay then.â
Brock didnât respond, just stared at him with an intensity that Bucky didnât know what to make of.
âUmâŚso you donât wanna watch a movie or something?â
Brock broke eye contact and shook his head slowly before walking back to the door. âNo, Iâm gonna stay right here.â
Should I stay? Bucky wondered. Probably notâŚbut part of me wants to. Maybe I should be guarding too? No, that was silly. Bucky wasnât an Alpha, and if Brock was already this agitated with him just standing at the end of the hall, trying to join in would definitely make Brock mad. Â
âWell, alright I guess. You want me to bring you some pizza or something?â
âPizza?â, the Alpha asked, perking up.
âYeah, I was gonna order one.â
âPepperoni?â
âUh huh.â
â...ok.â For a moment, the fervor in his expression seemed to fade, but then he let out a stifled growl, and went back to his pacing.Â
*
When he came back up the stairs with the pizza, Brock was immediately up in his face, blocking the hallway.Â
âHere,â he said, opening the box of pizza and holding it towards him like a peace offering.
Brock sniffed, clearly interested, but then looked back at the door with a whine.
âBones, come on. I get that you feel like you need to do this, but donât you wanna eat something?â
âLater,â the Alpha mumbled, backing away slowly.
Bucky blinked. Pizza was Brockâs favorite. He never turned it down. Not even when theyâd ordered from the other pizza place and Brock said it tasted like crap, he still ate it. This was serious.Â
He decided to text Zemo.Â
Brockâs guarding your door. He wonât leave to eat dinner.
So? He can do what he likes.
Itâs pizza.
There was a pause, and then.
Tell him youâll guard for him while heâs eating.
You really think thatâll work?
Itâs worth a try.
âHey. Bones,â Bucky began. âIf you want I could guard the door while you eat?â
The Alpha stared at him in disbelief. â What? â
âI said: I can guard the door.â
With a snarl, Brock suddenly pressed him back against the wall. Bucky was so surprised that he let him do it, even though he could have easily pushed him off. All that compact bulk and the tension in his shoulders, the way his eyes had gone dark, was hard to step away from. Bucky wasnât quite sure what his hands would do if he touched Brockâs shoulders.Â
âYou think Iâm fallinâ for that?â, Rumlow growled.
â...For what?â
âYouâre tryinâ to trick me. Coming up here, tryinâ to tempt me away.â
Bucky was breathing heavily as his mate pressed against him, feeling their bodies flush together. Brockâs rich, smoky scent was all around him, and Bucky felt his cock hardening as his arousal grew, and without even thinking about it he leaned in and nipped at the Alphaâs neck.
âYeah, thatâs it!â, Rumlow growled, grinding his cock against him as he pressed him back into the wall. He leaned in and clamped his jaws down on Buckyâs neck. Bucky let his head fall back with a moan, baring his neck. Fuck, why did that feel so good? The pizza box fell from his hands, unnoticed.
His Alpha huffed in approval and began grinding against him with his hard cock, pawing at his jeans. Bucky pressed back against him, the arousal electric as he ground back against his Alpha in desperate, short jerks of his hips. He reached down to unfasten his pants, but his Alpha had already beaten him to it. Bucky moaned at the feeling of their cocks pressing together, hot and hard and, god it felt so good when his mateâs hand wrapped around both of them at onceâŚ
Theyâd done things like this before in HYDRA, when they hadnât had time to go all the way; snatched moments in closets and alleys and safehouses, but it didnât feel desperate like that now. It didnât make him ache with longing even while it was happening. No, instead he felt like he wanted the Alpha to take him and do whatever he wanted with him so he pressed his hips up and let him grind against him, the head of the Alphaâs cock getting slick and shiny with precum as he frotted him.Â
Brock pulled him down onto the floor with him and climbed on top of him right there. He ground against Bucky, growling as he thrust their cockâs together. Bucky stared up into his mateâs eyes, feeling a sense of need crackling through the bond, Brockâs urge toâŚnot claim him, but something like that. To keep Bucky away from the door, and show himâŚ
Bucky cried out as Brock flicked his thumb over the head of his cock and he lost the thread of what heâd been thinking. His mate was pressing him back, pinning him down as he writhed and bucked against his cock. If this was payback for the other night, Bucky certainly wasnât complaining. The one thing he didnât expect was how much he was enjoying this. His mate calling him âWinterâ and telling him he was going to protect him made him feel helpless and panicky, but Brock growling and frotting against him on the floor was another thing entirely.
His mate bit down on his throat and with a gasp Bucky felt himself coming over his hand. Brock continued until he also came, spilling hot cum all over Buckyâs chest.Â
âFuck,â Bucky gasped, lying back on the floor. âThat wasâŚâ
Without a word, Brock stood up and walked back over to the door.
âOh, you gotta be kidding me!â
At that moment, Bucky felt his phone vibrate and snatched it up.
Come in here. Now.
*
Chapter Text
*
Brock and James must think Iâm being ridiculous , Zemo thought as he paced up and down the office. He knew heâd been irritable with his mates these last few days and his behaviour probably seemed unreasonable, but he just couldnât help himself. He feltâŚstrange. He was so tired all the time, but at the same time he couldnât seem to sit still.
Once again, he climbed up the ladder to his nest in the loft and began rearranging the pillows for what felt like the hundredth time. He just couldnât get it right . There was something missing, he still neededâŚyes, that was it! Carefully, he picked up Brockâs towel and folded it neatly, arranging it ceremoniously in the center of the nest. Something about it perfectly completed the layers upon layers of soft materials saturated with scent, and when Zemo climbed into the nest he immediately began to grow calm. No worries, not a care in the world; just soft comfort and the scent of his mates all around him. Finally, he was satisfied.Â
When Zemo woke up a few hours later, he was hot and there was a sheen of sweat covering his skin. Oh. He knew what that meant. He was in heat, and he hadnât even realized. He truly hadnât thought he could still have natural ones, after all the years heâd spent on suppressants. Heâd even been told explicitly by a doctor when heâd been incarcerated in Berlin that he wouldnât be able to. Not that that had mattered to him at the time. It had simply been another fact of lifelong imprisonment that he accepted because he had no choice but to do so.Â
But now, it seemed that what heâd been told was wrong. Now that theyâd settled into the house somewhat, and he had a space of his own where he could be safe from the rest of the worldâŚwell, apparently his body had decided that it was time.
Two mates , Zemo thought. Two mates to satisfy me.
This was definitely going to be interesting.Â
*
Without a word of warning, Rumlow quickly opened the door and climbed up the ladder to the attic nest, pulling his shirt off in his eagerness to get to Zemo. He knew the scent instinctively, and the memory of it filled him with a mix of emotions, but any fears Brock had about knowing what to do next suddenly disappeared. The Omega was ready. The Omega wanted him, and Brock let his instincts overtake him entirely.
Zemo was lying sprawled naked in the center of the bed surrounded by a carefully arranged selection of blankets and soft towels. His body was slick with sweat, and as he looked up he brushed his hair out of his eyes.Â
âFuck,â Brock exclaimed, practically drooling as he stared at their Omega.
âAre you in heat?â Bucky asked from behind Brock, as if he even needed Zemo to confirm it.
âI believe so,â Zemo panted. âItâsâŚvery intense. I wasnât prepared-'' his words were cut off with a moan, and he arched his back as the wave went through him. âI need you both. Right now,â he finished, when the wave subsided and he was able to speak again.Â
Brock didnât need telling twice; he stripped off the rest of his clothes and climbed onto the bed without hesitation.Â
Bucky pulled off his shirt, watching as Brockâs lips trailed down Zemoâs neck to suck and lick at his skin. Their Omegaâs sweet scent was so strong now, but Bucky somehow knew that Brock wasnât going to let him near Zemo until he was ready.Â
âPlease, â Zemo moaned as Brock moved down and began licking the slick from his ass, working him open. They were both naked and hard now, and Bucky could tell that Brockâs instinct to satisfy his mate was overtaking him.Â
âBucky,â Zemo gasped desperately, and Brock was surprised to hear him say their Betaâs name. âI need you too.â
Brock growled as Bucky approached the bed, suddenly defensive again.Â
âItâs just James,â Zemo said, trying to reassure his Alpha as Bucky lay down beside him. âHeâs our mate too.â
Brock huffed, eyeing him warily before turning his attention back to Zemo. He licked the slick from his lips, pressing his fingers into Zemoâs wet hole. His mate gasped and opened for him, and as he began to coax him Brock felt even more slick coating his fingers. Slowly, Brock slipped a finger into him and felt how ready he was. Zemo gasped, and moaned as heat coursed through his body. âPlease, I need more.â
âFuck, you smell so good, Baron,â Brock growled. âJust wanna fuck you and lick you and eat you out and fuck you all over again.â
âCan you please hurry up, then?â Zemo whined as Brock slipped another finger in easily. With each thrust, he arched his back and moaned, and through their bond Bucky felt heat washing over him like a wave.
âHe really needs it,â Bucky said, âGod, I can feel it, you need to-â
âYeah, I got it,â Brock growled, pulling his fingers out. His cock was fully hard, but he gave it a few strokes before sliding into his Omega. Zemoâs reaction was instantaneous, and he moaned in pleasure, and began rocking his hips against him, instinctively trying to encourage his Alpha.
âYes, please, moj tigric ,â he cried, thrusting against Brock needily.Â
Brock growled as he began fucking into his Omega. Bucky took his chance and kissed Zemo then, licking at his scent glands, teasing Zemoâs lips open with a bite. Zemo kissed him back desperately, moaning into his mouth, and through the bond Bucky felt the feeling of Brock thrusting into him.
âYouâre so strong,â Zemo panted, gripping Brockâs hips with his hands. âYou couldâŚprotect me fromâŚany otherâŚAlpha.â
Bucky heard Brock whine loudly at that, and Bucky felt a sense of satisfaction from their Alpha, pleased that his Omega felt so safe under him.
Zemo gripped him close, hanging on to Brock as he fucked him like he would never let go. He threw his head back and cried out when Brock changed his angle slightly, allowing him to go even deeper and thrust harder into his slick, tight heat.
Fuck, theyâre both so hot like this , Bucky thought, as he kissed the moans from Zemoâs lips. Brockâs instincts seemed to have completely taken over as he fucked into him; Bucky had never seen him like this before. He seemed completely wild. Bucky opened his eyes and his Omega's eyes were dark, his pupils blown with lust as he looked back at him. He could feel through the bond how much Zemo needed this, how close he wasâŚ
Zemo groaned loudly, and Bucky saw him come all over his chest, but Brock kept fucking him, because thatâs what their Omega needed.
âPlease, Alpha,â he begged, panting as he rode out his orgasm. âI need you to knot me.â
Brock hesitated, glancing at Bucky uncertainly. âI dunno if I can.â
âYou can. He needs you to.â
As if heâd been given permission, Brock groaned and his body jerked as he came inside his mate. He buried his head in Zemoâs neck, nuzzling against him as he tried to catch his breath.
âIs he doing it?â, Bucky asked
âYes,â Zemo gasped, looking back at Bucky hazily. âIt feels so good, James.â
He closed his eyes and through the bond Bucky felt pure satisfaction and relief flowing from his mate.Â
âItâs the hormones, right?â, Bucky asked. âWill it be the same with me now?â
Zemo nodded. âYes. You smell like an Alpha to me.â
âSo should weâŚâ
âNo, not yet. When heâs finished.â
Rumlow seemed to come out of his daze and looked up at Bucky. âYou like watching, huh?â
âThat okay?â
The Alpha smirked. âYeah, itâs hot. I like it.â He gestured to Bucky. âWould be even better if you took your pants off, though.â
âAlright,â Bucky smiled, pulling them down.Â
Brock grunted and pulled out of Zemo, his knot releasing with a little dribble of cum. Zemo turned onto his side and began nuzzling against Bucky, who gasped as Zemo thrust against him.Â
âAre you hard again already?â, Bucky asked.
âYes, of courseâ, the Omega said, as if this was a silly question.
âDonât you need a minute?â
Zemo shook his head, âNo, Iâm ready now.â A shiver ran through his mateâs body, and Bucky felt the wave of heat coming over him again. âFor you, this time.â
âOkay, then turn over so youâre facing Brock.â
Their Omega did as he was told and Bucky positioned himself behind him. He wrapped his right arm around Zemoâs chest and buried his head in the crook of his neck as he lined himself up and slowly thrust into him. Bucky felt the irresistible heat and the tightness of him, and looked up and saw Brock watching him, his Alphaâs eyes dark and aroused.
âMove. Fuck me, James,â Zemo commanded, bucking his hips back against him.Â
âAlright, take it easy,â Bucky said, thrusting his hips forward to give Zemo even more of his cock to take. Bucky wasnât small by any means, and it usually took his mate some time before his mate was ready to take his full length. Now though, Zemo seemed more than eager to take it. And from how slick and open he was from Brock, Bucky wasnât entirely surprised.
He began thrusting into his Omega at a steady pace, nuzzling at Zemo's neck. Zemo turned his head and Bucky nudged his lips apart and plunged his tongue into his mouth. It wasnât the best angle for a proper kiss, but Zemo returned his attentions eagerly with a needy moan, squirming his hips against him.Â
âYou feel so good inside me,â Zemo moaned.
Brock growled and bit Zemoâs neck, causing their Omega to cry out and thrust his hard, wet cock against his abs.Â
âHe gonna make you come, Omega?â, their Alpha growled.
âY-yes,â Zemo panted, âI want itâŚâ
âI know you do, you greedy vixen. You love it, donât you?â
Zemo moaned loudly in response and Bucky began to thrust into him faster, his strokes growing rapid and a little rough as his own pleasure built. He gripped his mate tightly, holding him in place as he filled him with his cock.Â
âPlease James, please!â, Zemo cried desperately. âI need you, need you to fill meâŚâ
Bucky moaned loudly at Zemoâs words, thrusting into him with hard, deep strokes. Each time he slid into Zemo his hips slapped against his Omegaâs ass, making the flesh tremble.Â
He heard Zemo cry out, and felt his Omega jerk as he came, spilling cum between him and Brock, coating their stomachs.
âI love you so much, wanna come inside you,â Bucky growled, biting his mateâs neck instinctively, claiming him.
âYes, do it!â Zemo moaned. âGive it to me! I want you, pleaseâŚâ
Bucky felt his orgasm crest before washing over him, and he spilled himself inside his mate. He stayed like that, breathing heavily for a minute and holding Zemo tight.Â
âGoddamn,â he panted, not pulling out yet. He wasnât gonna knot, that wasnât something Betas could do, but he could stay inside his mate until the sensitivity became too much. âThat wasâŚthat felt...â
âAmazing,â Zemo said contentedly. âI love you.â
âLove you too.â
Bucky suddenly became aware again of Brock watching them and suddenly feltâŚnot shy, exactly, but it was strange that they were saying these intimate things to one another while he remained silent.Â
Has Bones ever said those words to me before? Bucky wondered. In all the long years theyâd spent together, he must have said them at least once. But Bucky didnât want to remember things from that time now.
âDid you know you were gonna have a heat?â, he asked, taking full advantage of the temporary lull to run his fingers through Zemoâs hair.
Zemo shook his head. âNot at first. The last time it happened, there was no build up to speak of. I just took the pills and then it happened. Before thatâŚwell, my last heat was almost a decade ago. I wasnât even sure I could still have natural heats after being on suppressants for so many years. There were signs I missed. It was only when the heat was upon me that I knew what was happening. Hopefully next time I will be able to recognise these signs beforehand and be a little more prepared.â
*
After the first few hours, they fell into a rhythm. Brock would go first and knot him, and then Bucky, and then they would rest for a while. Their Alpha was knotting for longer each time now, which was just as well because the time between the waves was getting shorter and they all needed a break. Bucky didnât know how they were going to get any sleep: perhaps they werenât. It was times like this that he was glad that he was a super-soldier, because a regular man wouldnât be able to keep this up for long.Â
Except Brock, it seemed. The Alpha was running on instinct and seemed to be doing whatever he needed to do to satisfy their Omega. But Bucky could tell that even he was growing tired as the night went on. Luckily, it seemed that Zemo was also tiring and eventually fell asleep on his front with Brock knotting him. Bucky lay beside him, running his hands through his mateâs hair. All he could feel through the bond was a feeling of contentment as he lay concealed and safe beneath his Alpha.
Leaving his two mates to sleep, Bucky climbed down from the loft and went to clean himself up in the bathroom. At times like this he was glad they lived alone, because he could walk around naked and they could be as loud as they liked without disturbing anyone. It wasnât like when he and Zemo had got together in Riga, with Sam in the next room.Â
Had they known, even then, that they were going to bond? Bucky wasnât sure. Heâd wanted not to be alone anymore, and Zemo had been there, wanting the same thing and it had just seemed to work between them. Once theyâd gotten over the frustration of the build up of tension, anyway.Â
There was such a thing as base compatibility, Zemo had told him. It wasnât a guarantee that a bond would form, but a genetic predisposition that Omegas had with certain people. Of course as an Alpha, it had been easier for Zemo to bond with Brock, but once that had happened theyâd bonded almost instantly. Bucky still thought often about that moment, how theyâd both been so sure it was goodbye before everything fell into place. Such love and relief as he felt his mate all around him.
He went back upstairs to find his two mates in the nest where heâd left them, but Zemo stirred as Bucky climbed back into bed.
âJames?â
âI love you,â Bucky whispered, cuddling up next to him and placing a kiss on his cheek.
âLove you,â Zemo murmured in response, nuzzling against him and closing his eyes. âSleep now.â
*
The next morning, Bucky once again untangled himself from his two mates and opened the round window next to the bed. It was already getting warm, and it was a relief to have some fresh air in the small room that smelled of sex and the mingled scents of his mates. Zemoâs was still sweet with heat scent, and Brockâs smoky Alpha musk seemed to be trying to match it in strength, so Bucky was glad for some fresh air.
Bucky found himself coming out of the haze of hormones and noticed the mess of discarded blankets, pillows, tissues and the empty pizza box on the floor. Heâd made sure theyâd eaten something, or the other two probably would have forgotten. Brock seemed determined to pass Zemo all the food and water that Bucky gave him, and it had been an effort to get the Alpha to have something too.
It was strange to see how obviously Brock cared for Zemo. The only person that Bucky had ever known Brock behave like that towards was Winter. It actually came as a relief to see Brock direct his caring instinct towards their Omega. Bucky still didnât know how to deal with Brock being affectionate towards him like that. Sex was fine, as long as it wasnât overly tender. He didnât mind if Brock topped him or acted dominant like he had yesterday. But if he called him Winter , if he said how he was going to protect himâŚwell, that provoked feelings in Bucky that were upsetting and difficult for him to reconcile.
Still , Bucky thought, as he watched the Alpha curled around his Omega, itâs nice to see him looking after Zemo like that . Brock was good at caring, when he was allowed to be.
He noticed Zemo stirring, and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. His mate sighed pleasantly, and rubbed his cheek against Buckyâs offered hand.
âMorning, James,â he murmured sleepily.
âMorning,â Bucky said, pressing a kiss to his mateâs cheek. âDo you wanna take a shower with me?â
The Omega hummed against him thoughtfully, before eventually replying âNo, I donât want to leave the nest. You go ahead.â
âWill you be okay without me?â
âOf course, I have Brock,â Zemo said, indicating their sleeping Alpha who had one arm slung protectively over Zemoâs chest.
Bucky grinned. âOk, see you soon.â
âDonât be too long,â Zemo repeated, kissing him in return.
*
When he returned, Brock eyed him suspiciously, but allowed him back in.Â
âWhy did you leave?â, Zemo asked accusingly, as soon as he saw Bucky.
âI needed a shower?â Bucky said in confusion. âYou said it was fine.â
âWell, it wasnât,â Zemo huffed, and turned away from him. âYour scent is all wrong now. You need to stay in the nest.â
âHeâs been stressing out,â Brock said, âHe woke me up biting me, and then started chewing on the blankets. It was weirdâ
Zemo flushed and turned to glare at the Alpha. âThat most certainly did not happen.â
âUh huh, right.â
âIt didnât!â
âWell, we both know the truth.â
Zemo looked like he was about to retort but then a shiver went through him and he bent double with a groan.Â
âCome on,â Bucky said gently, guiding him back to the nest and climbing in with him. âWeâre gonna look after you now.â
Zemo nodded, letting him push him back into the mattress and wrapping his legs around Buckyâs waist.Â
*
Bucky had thought early on in the heat that thereâd come a point where Zemo would be satisfied, but he seemed to be able to keep coming over and over. Not that Bucky was complaining, because it felt amazing to lose himself in a hazy blur of pleasure, tangled bodies, feeling his mates around him, blurring with them at the edges as they flowed into one another through the bond. His connection with Brock still flared only occasionally like inconsistent static, but when Bucky could feel him it was strong, and it felt like everything heâd thought heâd forgotten.Â
Right now Zemo was lying sprawled between them, sleepy and sated. Knowing that it wouldnât last for long, Bucky quickly ran downstairs to the kitchen to grab some bottled water before the next wave hit. He returned to find his Omega, thankfully, where he had left him with Brock licking the claiming bite heâd given him on the shoulder. Brock growled and looked up quickly when he heard Bucky approach, before realizing it was him and turning his attention back to Zemo.
Bucky noticed that there were faint marks on Zemoâs soft hips where the skin had started to bruise and mentally chided himself for being so rough with him. Not that his mate had minded; in fact, the opposite. Heâd seemed to love them both manhandling him and being passed between them so that he was always kept full with their cocks.Â
Bucky looked out the window and realized that it was night again, and wondered just how much longer the heat could possibly last. Â
*
This isnât so hard , Brock thought as Zemo moaned and bucked against him, kissing James at his side. I think Iâm actually doing a good job of taking care of him. It felt right; to guard his Omega and fuck him through his heat. To make sure he had everything he needed and that he was feeling good the whole time. He didnât want him hurting for a second. It hadnât been like this last time; that had been just pure desperation. Now he had both his mates. and everything was ok and no one was gonna take them away from ever ever everâŚ
Heâd forgotten how good being with Zemo in heat felt, even better than fucking him usually did. And when he came and knotted inside him, that was the best feeling in the world. Brock felt so close to him, and he could just breathe in his scent the whole time and lose himself in the feeling of being with his mate. And Bucky was right there the whole time, kissing them both and then when Brockâs knot released he just slid right in and carried on fucking Zemoâs slick, ready ass.Â
Fuck, watching his two mates together was probably the hottest thing heâd ever seen. He loved when Bucky gripped Zemoâs hips and pressed him down into the mattress, fucking into him until Zemo was moaning and clenching the sheets for grip, bucking his hips back to meet ever thrust his mate gave him.Â
âIâm so full with you, James,â Zemo gasped. âIt feels so good.â
âYeah, gonna fill you up,â Bucky moaned.Â
âGive it to him,â Brock growled, feeling his cock already beginning to stiffen again in response as he imagined how it felt.Â
Bucky nodded, seeming unable to answer, lost in the sensation of feeling as he mated their Omega.Â
What does it feel like for them, in the bond? Brock wondered. He caught glimpses every so often, moments where he felt Zemo and then W- Bucky, but never both of them together. Brock realized that heâd never wanted it to be louder before, but right now he thought he could handle it without it being too much. Too overwhelming.Â
He leaned in and kissed Zemo again, threading his fingers through his hair and pulling slightly to tilt his head back as he captured his mouth. When the kiss broke and his Omega opened his eyes to look at him, his pupils were blown wide.
âMy Alpha,â he purred, followed by a string of Sokovian that Brock didnât understand.Â
âWhatâs that, Baron?â
âI just want to stay like this with the two of you fucking me,â Zemo panted. âI donât want to have another thought ever again.â
âOh yeah?â
âMmâŚyes, Iâm all for you. Yours. Youâre going to take careâŚâ
âThatâs right, Omega,â Brock growled, nipping at his mateâs neck. âWeâre gonna take real good care of you. Just keep you like this forever.â
âFuck, so close,â Bucky groaned.
âYou gonna come?â
âYeah, I justâŚâ
Bucky paused his thrusts, much to the disappointment of their Omega who writhed beneath him, rocking his hips to try and get him to continue.
âWhaddaya need?â, Brock asked.
Bucky looked at him, his blue eyes tremble with something vulnerable.
âIâŚâ
To Brockâs surprise Bucky leaned down to kiss him.Â
âYou,â he said, when he pulled away. âThatâs what I need.â
âNeed you too,â Brock mumbled. âAlways.â
He felt a surge of happiness and contentment, and Brock could feel it flowing through the bond from Bucky and it felt good.
âPlease,â Zemo moaned, unable to keep it to himself any longer. âJamesâŚâ
âSorry, Zemo I got you,â Bucky said, kissing Zemo as he began to thrust into him again. "Donât worry. Weâre both here, ok?"
Zemo nodded, pressing his hard, leaking dick between their bodies. Brock reached between them wrapping his hand around his Omegaâs cock. Zemo whined and thrust up into it. Bucky was fucking him hard and fast now, and Brock was surprised that he could take that, that he met ever thrust eagerly and never seemed to tire. There seemed to be no limit to the sensation he desired, it was as if he wanted to be completely overwhelmed. Instinctively, Brock bit down on his mateâs neck and he felt Zemoâs cock pulse and spill into his hand as Bucky cried out and came inside him.Â
Zemo kept James close, his legs wrapped around him to keep him in place as the two of them caught their breath. But almost the moment he pulled out Zemo gave a moan and began begging them again to fuck him.Â
*
Zemo opened Netflix and pressed play on the next episode of the historical drama, âMy Daughterâs Alphaâ. The heat was starting to slow down now, and there were periods between waves where he was too exhausted to do anything, but was still too restless to sleep. Bucky was asleep, but Brock seemed to be feeling similarly to himself and was grooming one of the bites on his neck.Â
âTurn that chick show off,â he grumbled after a few minutes.
âNo. Itâs one of the only series Iâve found with halfway decent representation,â Zemo said, not pausing the episode.
âWe should watch Game of Thrones instead,â the Alpha complained. âItâs awesome. People get beheaded in it.â
Zemo huffed. âThatâs precisely why I donât want to watch it while Iâm in heat.â
Brock leaned into Zemoâs neck and carried on licking the bite to heal it. âAright, fine. If thatâs what you want.â
âThank you.â
But when his Alpha finished, satisfied that heâd done the job of healing bite marks, Brock seemed to start taking an interest in the story.
âWhatâs she talkinâ about she âaccepts his favourâ?â
âLady Heatherton is referring to the fact that Lady Astley accepted the Marqueeâs handkerchief,â Zemo said, not taking his eyes from the screen.
âYeah, so?â
âSo, it had his scent on it, and she accepted it. Which means theyâve started courting.â
Brock snorted and rolled over. âWhy donât they just fuck?â
Zemo rolled his eyes. âBecause theyâre the heirs to two of the most powerful families in Europe.â
Brock frowned. âSo they really used to do all this courting and arranged marriage stuff for people like us?â
Zemo paused the show and turned to face his mate. âThe nobility has always had arranged marriages,â he replied. âBonding just makes it a little moreâŚcomplicated. You canât choose who you bond to.â
âSo if we were alive in the 18th centuryâŚâ
â 19th century, Brock. The story is set in 1816.â
âYeah, exactly. You said eighteenth.â
âNevermind. What were you going to say?â
âIf we were alive then, theyâd arrange for you to marry me because Iâm an Alpha?â
âNo, definitely not.â
âWhy not?â
âWell, youâre a man for a start.â
âOh, right.â
âAnd youâre not a European aristocrat.âÂ
âHey, Iâm European! Kinda. Italyâs in Europe, ainât it?â
âTrue, but how many Kings, Dukes, Barons , can you count in your lineage?â
Brock looked crestfallen. âSo we couldnâtâve been together?â
Zemo tilted his head to one side thoughtfully. âWell, it depends. Lots of people bonded and then eloped together. But others who were already married, often with children, had âarrangementsâ.â
âWhatâs that?â
âTheir bondmate might be a member of the household. It was easier that way. It just wouldnât be recorded as part of an official history. It would be different if they werenât bonded though.â
âLike how?â
âWell, aristocratic households in Sokovia would have aâŚconcubine? No, thatâs not it. More akin to a valet or a ladyâs maid. Iâm not sure if thereâs an equivalent word in English, but a household member whose job it was to take care of people like us, as well as their regular duties. Itâs strange saying this out loud. Itâs not something that was openly talked about where I came from.â
âSoâŚyou had a person like that?â
Zemo shook his head. âI wish that had been the case. My father was very against this tradition. He thought it was backwards, which meant I was put on heat suppressants almost as soon as I was diagnosed as an Omega.â
âMy family could never afford them. You were lucky.â
Zemo shook his head. âNo, that wasnât my experience. Even with the ârightâ dosage, the ones I was made to take were awful. I refused to keep taking them after a few months because I simply couldnât bear it.â
âStill wish Iâd been given them.â
âWhy?â
âSo I couldâve been in control. I need to know when itâs gonna happen so I can prepare for it.â
Zemo sighed. âI can understand that, I suppose. I just wonder how much of that need for control you have comes from fear of what will happen if you donât take them.â
âWell, itâs not the same for you,â Brock grumbled. âYouâre not gonna go crazy and hurt someone if youâre in heat.â
âBut neither are you, Brock. Thatâs not what happens in rut.â
âWhat do you know about it?â
âCome now, let's not argue anymore.â
âNot arguing. Just thinkinâ about stuff.â
Zemo kissed him on the lips in a reconciliatory gesture. After a moment, his Alpha gave a little huff, before kissing him back, the previous conversation forgotten.Â
âIâm yours, moj tigric,â Zemo said, pulling back gently and stroking Brockâs face.Â
âHey, what about me?â, Bucky yawned sleepily, opening his eyes.
âAnd yours too, of course,â Zemo chuckled.Â
Bucky squinted at the laptop screen. âYou watching that show again?â
âYes,â Zemo said, hitting play on the episode.
Bucky propped himself up on one arm to watch. âIs this the one where the Duchess tries to marry Mary off to the Austrian Omega guy?â
âSpoilers!â, their Alpha hissed.Â
Zemo laughed. âI thought you didnât care, Brock?â
âI donât,â their mate grumbled. âBut if I have to watch it, I donât wanna have it spoiled, yâknow?â
*
âFuck, itâs comingâ Brock grunted.
Zemo was biting his shoulder, hard, but Brock didnât mind. He had his Omegaâs hands pinned over his head, but his mate was still showing that he was far from submissive right now. He gasped as he felt the sensation of the knot releasing, before collapsing on top of his mate and releasing his caged wrists.Â
The Omega seemed dazed for a minute, before he began wriggling beneath Brock, trying to push him off.Â
âTake him,â he mumbled to Bucky, as he collapsed back against the pillows mounded against the headboard.
Bucky pulled the Omega towards him and held him on his lap. âYou like us sharing you like this, huh?â, he said softly.Â
Zemo nodded, drunk on the rush of heady hormones. He quickly began rocking against Bucky, taking his cock all the way to the base.Â
âYeah, I can tell,â Bucky said, brushing Zemoâs hair out of his eyes. âFeels real good, donât it?â,Â
âMm.â
Brock saw that Buckyâs expression was suddenly one of concern as he watched his mate. âZemo? You ok?â
Zemo shook his head, slowing his movements. âI need to stop now.â
Brock felt his heart miss a beat. Had they done something wrong? Was it something Bucky said? Had theyâŚhurt him?Â
âI justâŚneed a moment,â Zemo said, climbing off and laying down next to Bucky on his side. Brock watched as Buckyand closed his eyes and began stroking him. He was unsure of what his mate was doing until he realized that Bucky was probably trying to tune into his bond with Zemo.Â
But Brock didnât know what to do. He suddenly felt shut out, unable to help his mate.Â
This is all my fault , he thought angrily. Should've taken better care of him, youâre such a bad Alpha.
To his surprise, Bucky took his hand and shook his head slightly. âNot your fault.â
âWhat can I do?â
âJust go get him some water, I think.âÂ
âOkay.â
Brock went over to the dresser and grabbed one of the bottles and a snack bar. He quickly handed it to Bucky, who passed it to Zemo who took the water and drank half of it at once.
âWhatâs up?â, Bucky asked after a few minutes had passed.
Zemo turned to face them, eyes still closed. âIâm exhausted. My energy dropped very suddenly. Hormone fluctuation, perhaps.â
âOr low blood sugar,â Bucky said, handing him a cereal bar. âCome on, eat this.â
I should be taking better care of him , Brock thought anxiously as he watched Zemo eat. He had a sudden, instinctive urge to take his Omega down to the basement, to hide him somewhere safe where he could guard him, before he told his Alpha brain to shut up. He didnât really want to take his Omega away from his other mate. Bucky was so good, he knew exactly what to do. Brock watched as he held Zemo in his arms and stroked him gently.Â
Brock realised after a moment, that the other thing heâd found strange was that theyâd just stopped right in the middle of sex. He hadnât really known that you could justâŚstop, if you wanted to. You didnât have to just keep going until you finished. Bucky wasnât mad at Zemo for ruining the mood, he just wanted to make sure their Omega was ok. Brock realized that if it had been him that said âstopâ, Bucky wouldnât have gotten mad at him. Neither would the Baron.
âYou wanna get in here?,â Bucky said, turning to look at Brock.Â
Brock nodded, and came around to Zemoâs other side, placing an arm over both his mates. Zemo snuggled up against him, and inhaled against his neck when he caught his scent.Â
Theyâre amazing, Brock thought. Still donât know what the hell Iâm doing, but I get to be with them. Maybe thatâs enough for now.
*
Time became a blur to Zemo as he was passed between his mates, losing track of who was even fucking him. All he knew was that he felt full and satisfied and his mates were with him and everything was good. James had left the nest at one point, and heâd had a sudden energy drop but apart from that everything had been amazing. Theyâd given him everything heâd needed, and more.
Heâd been riding Brock, and the Alpha had knotted him, forcing him to keep still and straddle him until his knot subsided. In the meantime James had stroked his nipples, teased him and kissed him long and tender with his soft lips. Zemo loved Jamesâs lips so much, he loved all of him. James was sleeping beside them again now while Brock still held him on his lap.Â
Zemo looked back at his Alpha, at his long lashes and dark eyes, his messy hair, his muscles gleaming with sweat.Â
Brock wears his pain on his skin , Zemo thought as he traced the raised ridges of scar tissue along his cheek. His Alpha closed his eyes at the touch. It looks violent, but all I can think is that I canât believe he survived what happened to him. Like James, really.
âIs this ok?â, Zemo asked.
âUh huh.â
âWhat does it feel like?â
Brock shrugged. âNot much, canât really feel there.â
Zemo leaned in and kissed him again, gasping as he felt the Alphaâs knot shift inside him. âBrock,â
âHm?â
I love you. Zemo hesitated. âNothing, I just like saying your name.â
Brock frowned. âReally? Always thought it was kinda goofy.â
âNo, I like it. It means âbadgerâ in Middle English.â
âHuh, how about thatâŚâ
âBrock.â
âUh huh?â
Zemo smiled. âIt feels good, what youâre doing. Thank you for being here for me.â
âYou're my mate,â Brock said simply. âWouldnât wanna be anywhere else.â
*
Chapter Text
*
Zemo spent the next two days in his nest recovering from his heat. He remained asleep for most of that time, waking only when his mates brought him food and water. They mostly left him be, coming to cuddle him occasionally before he grumbled about them being in the nest and started trying to bite them. He finally got up on the third day feeling refreshed and very much in need of a bath.Â
After a good long soak in the tub, he got out and wrapped a soft bathrobe around him. Yes, he definitely felt a lot more like himself again. He wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at his reflection. He still looked tired, and he was surprised to see the scruff on his face. He considered shaving, but his mates rather seemed to like it so after a moment of deliberation he decided to leave it.
He reached into the cabinet and dabbed oil from a bottle onto his neck and wrists. He knew for a fact that his Alpha wasnât going to be happy about him wearing scent blockers, and neither would James for that matter. But, they did have therapy today, which meant he had to be among people, and he didnât want anyone picking up on his lingering heat scent. It wasnât that he was embarrassed by it, but Brock was territorial enough as it was and he didnât want to have to deal with anyone, especially other Alphas , making comments.Â
Not that itâs very likely , Zemo thought, tracing one of the fading bite marks on the curve of his neck. Itâs very obvious that Iâm bonded. Usually such things wouldnât be on his mind, because there werenât many others like them where they lived. But since the practice that Alice worked at specialized in bonded clientele, he wanted to make sure that it wasnât so noticeable.
He made his way downstairs still in his robe and went to the kitchen where he began making himself some coffee. He used a Turkish coffee pot and made it in the unfiltered way that was traditional in Sokovia. It seemed that he was feeling a little more nostalgic than usual this morning, and it took him by surprise. It had been a long time since heâd felt anything like that. At least he wasnât going so far as to read his fortune in the coffee sediment.
He felt his Alpha come up behind him and slide his arms around his waist. âMorninâ Baron,â he mumbled, placing a kiss on his neck.Â
âMm. Good morning to you too, Brock,â he hummed.Â
He felt his mate stiffen and pull back, wiping his lips. âYou wearing blockers?â
âYes,â Zemo said, turning to face him and tilting his head to one side. âIs that going to be a problem?â
âNo, it just tastes bad,â Brock complained, rubbing at his lips with the hem of his dressing gown. Zemo recognised it as actually belonging to James. Heâd practically bought James a whole new wardrobe when they moved in together. That didnât stop his mate wearing anything more interesting than jeans and a t- shirt most of the time, but it was what he was most comfortable in apparently.Â
âI suppose I should have given you some warning, moj tigric ,â Zemo said, taking a sip of his coffee and walking over to the dining table to sit. âBut you didnât leave me any opportunity.â
Brock grunted in acknowledgement and poured himself a cup and followed him over. âYou feelinâ better?â, he asked.
Zemo sighed. âYes, finally. I probably wonât have another heat for at least a few months now.â
The Alpha smirked. âWasnât so bad.â
Zemo met his eyes with a smile of his own, âNot at all.â
Brock toyed with the shopping list that Zemo had left on the table nervously. âSo, umâŚI was ok?â
âOf course you were,â Zemo said, holding out his hand, palm face up. Heâd learnt his lesson about forcing such gestures on his mate, and instead waited to see if he would take the offer. âPerfect.â
âHmph. Good,â Brock mumbled, averting his eyes and taking a swig of his coffee. Zemo noticed that he tended to do that when he was feeling overwhelmed, and not for the first time wondered what his mate was feeling through the bond. Right now, from his end, the bond felt like little more than a blur of vague feelings. Like looking through a fogged up pane of glass. It seemed to clear when the Alpha took his hand and held it, crystallizing into a feeling of satisfaction. His mate was pleased that heâd taken good care of him. He supposed he could have guessed that, but it was different to actually feel how much his mate cared about him, how much he wanted to protect him and keep him safe.
â Moj tigric ,â Zemo whispered, leaning in to kiss him.Â
Brock cupped his face, kissing him softly in a way that made Zemo feel like he was melting into him. Perhaps it was their bond, stronger between them now, but whatever was helping this feeling along, Zemo wasnât going to question it. Brock nuzzled at his neck, the stubble on his chin brushing the soft skin.Â
âStill donât like the scent blocker,â he huffed.
âThatâs too bad.â
The Alpha whined, clearly wanting to lean in and bite. âShower when we get home?â
Zemo chuckled. âAs long as you stop complaining until then, hm?â
âDeal.â
*
âSo, how was your week?â, Alice asked, opening her notebook to begin the session.
Zemo was sitting in between his two mates on the sofa. For once, they didnât seem to be keeping as far away from one another as possible and were sitting quite comfortably. James was leaning back, actually relaxed, and Brock didnât look as if he was about to bolt out the door.
âI went into heat, rather unexpectedly,â he answered. âIt was my first natural one in years.â
âWow, that must have been a big deal for you. How did that go?â
Zemo smiled and looked at his two mates. âIt went well. They were both amazing and took great care of me.â
âHow do you feel now?â
âCloser to them. The bond feels stronger, as well.â
Alice nodded, turning her attention to Brock. âHow was it for you?â
âHad some Alpha stuff going on,â Brock replied. â Wanted to guard him all the time. But yeah, it was good.â
âIâm pleased to hear that,â their therapist replied, writing something down. âAnd it's normal for Alphas to find that their behaviour changes, in response to their mateâs cycle. Zemo may find that he experiences similar changes when youâre in rut, Brock.â
âIâm on suppressants,â Brock said tightly.Â
âHeâs stressed about it,â Zemo said.Â
âAre you?â, Alice asked.
Brock hesitated for a moment before mumbling. âYeah, kinda.â
Zemo rolled his eyes. âAn understatement.â
âWell, perhaps when itâs time for you to schedule one, that is something we can discuss?â
Brock shrugged. âYeah, ok, I guess.â
âWould that be helpful for you?â
âI dunno,â Brock said, glancing at Zemo. âIâll give it a shot, though.â
âCan I ask how you found Zemoâs heat, James?â, Alice asked, turning her attention to their other mate.
Bucky smiled. âYeah, sure. It was good, like Zemo said. And I felt okay, being with Brock. I think I realized something, actually.â
âWhat was that?â
âI really liked seeing Brock taking care of Zemo. A few weeks ago it was kind of like he was still trying to take care of me as Winter , but I feel like now heâs starting to see me for me, yâknow?â
âHow does that land with you, Brock?â
Brock was silent for a moment before he said. âI wanna take care of both of you.â
âYeah, but I donât want you to,â Bucky said. âThe thing is, I donât need you to. Winter did, I donât. Thatâs the difference.â
âI kind of knew that,â Brock admitted. âAnd I donât wanna treat you in a way that makes you unhappy, so Iâll try to...â
âYou can if I ask you to,â Bucky said, shooting their Alpha a small smile. âBut I donât need you to tell me you're gonna protect me, and that no oneâs gonna take me away, and things like that.â
âOk, I wonât say that stuff then,â Brock agreed. âBut I was thinking,â he glanced at Bucky. âIâm really trying to see who you are now, right? I know youâre notâŚâ he trailed off and looked down at the floor.
âGo ahead, Brock,â Alice said.
âI know heâs different now,â Brock said, addressing Alice this time. âI get that. But the thing is, the last time I saw him was at the Triskelion when I was shouting at him to run away. And the next time I see him, itâs years later and he just shows up at my door, a completely different person.â
Brock sighed, running a hand through his hair. âI donât wanna upset him or nothing by treatinâ him like heâs someone else. It justâŚdoesnât add up in my head. Doesnât make sense.â
Alice nodded thoughtfully, writing a note in her book. âWhat Iâm hearing you say is that you feel like thereâs a disconnect between the person that James was when you knew him, and the person that he is now?â
âYeah, exactly.â
âWhat do you think would help you to connect the two?â
âI dunno.â
Alice turned her attention to Bucky. âWhat do you think, James?â
Bucky sighed. âItâs still kind of hard to acknowledge that that was me, yâknow? Most of the time it doesnât feel like it, but I still did those things soâŚâ He shrugged. âAnyway, that stuff is for my other therapist.â
âWould you consider talking about the time after you were no longer in HYDRA? It might help Brock connect the two parts of you.
âYeah, I guessâ, James agreed. He turned to Zemo, who squeezed his hand reassuringly. âZemo knows some of this, weâve talked about it before.â
âI think it will help,â Zemo said, turning to Brock. âIt certainly helped me understand him better.â
The Alpha nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. âOk then.â
âSoâŚtrynna think where to start,â Bucky started slowly. "I was in the US for a while after the Triskelion. I went to Washington DC and saw the Cap stuff in a museum. And there were photos of me, but not really me. I figured maybe the part of me that knew Steve Rogers was the âJames Buchanan Barnesâ part.
âWho did you think you were at that time?â, Alice asked.
âWinter. The Winter Soldier. I wasnât âThe Assetâ because I wasnât part of HYDRA any more.
âWhen did that start to change for you?â
âSometime when I was in Europe. I did like my handler said and ran away. Stowed away on a ship to Italy. I wanted to know if HYDRA was really gone, and I wanted answers about who I was. All of the old safehouses were empty, and everything useful had been burned. So, I just kept on the move and started writing down everything I could remember. From Italy I went to Switzerland, Sokovia, Hungary; before eventually ending up in Romania. I was trying to piece together as much as I could, while trying to figure out how to be a person again.â
Alice was silent for a moment before she said, âWhat did learning how to be a person again mean for you, James?â
âIt meant having to take care of myself. There wasnât someone looking after me anymore, so I had to find my own food and decide what I was going to do each day. And if I was going out around people I had to remember to do things like shower and behave like a normal person so I wouldnât stand out.â
âThat sounds like it must have been a big adjustment for you.â
Bucky nodded. âOh yeah, I felt like I was lost most of the time. HYDRA had always given me clear mission parameters, so now that there was no one to tell me what to do, everything was overwhelming. Like just ordering from McDonalds or going to a store. I had to scout the location to see how it worked, what I was supposed to do. Money wasnât really a problem, theyâd left a lot behind in safehouses so I was able to stay in crummy hotels, apartments sometimes, but never for too long.â
Zemo noticed that Brock was shooting furtive glances at Bucky, but he couldnât tell what he was thinking of all of this. This wasnât anything new to Zemo, but to their Alpha it was completely new information.
âDid you miss your mate during that time?â
Bucky seemed to think about this for a moment before saying, âYeah, at the start. Iâd never been away from him for so long before. When I was in cryo, it was like being asleep. No, deeper than sleep. It didnât feel like any time had passed at all. It really hurt, being apart. But after a while I started to remember more and more, and I just felt angry about what had been done to me. So I tried to pretend like he didnât exist.â
âDid you feel angry with him?â
âIf it hadnât been for our bond, they wouldnât have been able to keep me there,â James said slowly. âSo yeah, I was angry with him. I think part of me will always be angry about that.â
ââM sorry,â Brock mumbled, looking down at the floor. âDonât know what else to say.â
âI know you are,â Bucky replied, looking over at him. âI canât say I forgive you, but that doesnât mean I donât want to be with you now.â
Brock shook his head. âSee, thatâs what I donât get. How can you want that if youâre angry and you canât forgive me?â
âPart of me feels that way, but a bigger part of me loves you and wants us to be together,â Bucky replied. âHYDRA couldnât keep us apart, and we both survived that, so I figure that any problems we have we can deal with together.â
Brock nodded, and seemed to be thinking about everything Bucky had just said.
âYou donât have to respond if you donât want to, Brock,â Alice said after a minute of silence.
The Alpha nodded. âYeah, Iâm just thinkinâ things through. You can go ahead and talk about somethinâ else.â
âOkay,â Alice said, glancing down at her notes. âWell, Iâd like to suggest some homework for you three this week. Would that be alright?â
âWhatâs the homework?â, James asked.
âSpending some more time getting to know one another,â Alice said. âThat goes for Helmut, too.â
Zemo frowned. âIâm not sure I understand.â
âWell, it seems like you and Brock havenât spent much time together.â
âWe do a lot together.â
âOutside of sexual activity.â
Zemo tilted his head to one side. âOh, I see. Thatâs a fair point.â
Alice smiled. âMaybe you should go on some dates? Get to know one another a little better.â
*
A few days later, Bucky came into the bedroom he shared with Zemo (and now sometimes Brock too), to find his Alpha staring at two flat, gift wrapped boxes on the bed.Â
âWhatâs this?â, Bucky asked, coming to stand next to him.Â
âDunno. I just came in,â Brock said. He looked at the label on one of the bows. âThis oneâs for you, Buck.â
Bucky smiled. He kind of liked Brock calling him that. Ever since Sam had started calling him that too, it had stopped being Steveâs nickname for him, and thus stopped being painful. He untied the red bow, and removed the lid of the creamy white box. Inside was a brand new suit that looked expensive and a folded up note that read. âDear James, please consider wearing this for our date tonight. Love, Zemo.âÂ
He took it out and walked over to the closet and opened it. There was a full length mirror on the inside of the door, and when Bucky held the suit jacket up to himself it looked as if it would fit perfectly.
âGuess Zemo went all out, huh?â, Bucky said.
Brock nodded, still staring at his own which was still in the box. âGuess so.â
âYou know Zemo spends money like itâs nothing, right?â Bucky said softly. âThis isnât a big deal to him.â
Brock carefully moved the box to the side and sat down on the bed. âYeah, but it is to me. Iâll never be able to pay him back if I keep taking stuff like this from him.â
Bucky sat down on the bed next to him. âYou donât have to pay him back.â
Brock shook his head. âDonât know what heâs gonna expect in return.â
âLook at it like this,â Bucky said. âThis is Zemoâs way of saying that heâs in it for the long haul. He wants to show that he cares about you by giving you nice things.âÂ
Brock huffed, trailing his fingers over the sleek black fabric of the suit. âHow do you get him so good?â
Bucky shrugged. âTakes practice, believe me. And half the time Iâm relying on our bond to tell me whatâs up.â
âIâm not used to all this,â Brock said, carefully taking the suit out and unfolding the jacket on his lap.Â
Bucky smiled. âYeah, me neither. My family was pretty well off back in the day, but money was still something we worried about.â
âOh, donât even get me started. You know, HYDRA didnât let us have our own bank accounts?â
âI suppose that makes sense,â Bucky said. âThey didnât want anyone to leave.â
âYeah, exactly. It was easier, but then when everything fell apart? I had no idea how to manage it.â He paused, before saying sheepishly. âStill donât, if Iâm honest.â
âThat why the suit is a lot?â
âDunno. Itâs probably part of it, I guess.â As Bucky watched Rumlow gazing at the new clothes, he felt something suddenly in their bond. Was it sadness? Frustration? No⌠it was anxiety. Just for a moment, Bucky felt the stab of nervousness his mate was concealing deep inside.
âHey,â He said softly, sliding on the bed next to the Alpha. âWhatâs the matter, Bones?â
âIf he got me this kinda suitâŚâ he said quietly. âWhereâs he gonna take us, Buck?â
âSomewhere fancy?âÂ
âYeah.â
âYouâre not okay with that?â
âListen, Buck. I ainât been anywhere fancier than a Dennyâs in years. Few months ago I was stealin' beef jerky and nachos from the bodega and now he thinks I'm gonna fit right in with royalty?"
âRoyalty?â Bucky chuckled softly, but then felt a twang of embarrassment in the bond. âYouâll be with me, and with Zemo. Being Zemoâs mate is kind of like being royalty, right? Would make you⌠Baron Consort or something.â
ââConsortâ?â Brock asked. âAinât that a prostitute?â
Bucky laughed, and even Bones cracked a smile. âFine then. Be a Prince.â
âIâm no Prince-â
âWhy not?â Bucky smoothed his mateâs hair. âYouâve had to go undercover before. Pretend this is your mission - youâre playing the part of a Prince, and you have to fit in with all the celebrities and royalty.â
âI donât feel much like a Prince,â Brock scoffed.
Bucky shook his head softly. âMaybe I can help you play the part, then? I can start by getting you something to help you relax, your highness?â
Brock cocked an eyebrow in confusion, then glanced over at the door. âI guess I could use a beerâŚâ
Bucky smirked. âNo, I meanâŚâ he trailed off, kneeling on the floor between Brockâs parted legs.
His mateâs eyes went wide, and Bucky couldnât help noticing that his dark eyes grew even darker. âOh you wannaâŚare you sure?â, he asked.Â
Bucky nodded. âYeah, Iâm sure, my Prince.â
âBecause that sounds real good. I just donât wanna make you do anything you donât want.â
âOh believe me,â Bucky said, looking up at him as he unbuckled Brockâs belt âI want to. And since youâre His Royal Highness Prince Brock of New Jersey, you get to tell me how you want me.â
âHeh,â Brock laughed softly, and Bucky felt a flash through their bond again - Bones was relaxing, just as he hoped. âThen you can use your mouth on me. If you wanna.â
Bucky felt arousal running through him as he slowly took the tip of his Alphaâs stiffening cock in between his lips. He was rewarded with the sound of a groan from Brock, and Bucky looked up at his mate as he took even more of him into his mouth.Â
âOh fuck, thatâsâŚâ Brock gasped, running his hand through Bucky's hair. He didnât pull, though Bucky got the impression that he badly wanted to.Â
Bucky pulled off of the Alpha, licking the full length of his shaft as he did. âPrinces donât swear like sailors.â
âAnâ,â Brock grinned. âMy subjects donât get to tell me how to-â Bucky swallowed him down again and he moaned. âAww fuck thatâs so good!â
Bucky hummed at the praise, feeling his own cock twitch in his suddenly too-tight jeans. He was taking his time, and it wasnât long before his Alpha's cock reached full hardness. Remembering how much Brock liked his balls being played with, Bucky reached his right hand between his thighs and began to palm them.Â
The Alpha rolled his hips forward, thrusting forward slightly to see if Bucky would take it. Bucky took it eagerly, the idea that Brock was being so cautious making him want to see how far he could push him before he really lost control and gave in to his instincts. But first, he wanted to tease him a little.
Bucky pulled back with a wet pop, licking precum from his reddened lips. âYou like that, Prince Brock?â
Rumlow groaned, hand clenching Buckyâs shoulder. âYeah, keep going, thatâs⌠a royal proclamation!â
âHow bad do you want my mouth on you, highness?â
âSo bad, you have no idea,â the Alpha whined, rocking his hips forward. âPleaseâŚâ
âOkay, but only if you keep talking while Iâm doing it. I need to know Iâm doing it just how my Prince likes it.â
âFuck, okay,â the Alpha panted, and Bucky was pleased to hear a little moan escape his throat when he swallowed him slowly, all the way to the base.
âOh, fuck that feelsâŚâ Brock gasped. Bucky paused, waiting for the Alpha to gather his thoughts. âYour mouth is so hot andâŚand wet and, fuck I canât believe you can take it all!â
Bucky felt a shiver of desire run through him and shifted where he knelt on the floor to try and give his hard cock some relief. But all he succeeded in doing was making it rub against the denim material of his jeans.Â
âWant you, want you so much,â Brock moaned, his hand fisting Buckyâs hair now. âYour mouth on me, taking my cock⌠Jusâ like that!â
Bucky tightened his grip on Brockâs balls ever so slightly, before releasing them and beginning to stroke the sensitive underside right at the base of his Alphaâs cock where his knot usually formed.Â
âYes, oh fuck, please! Do that again, pleaseâŚâ his mate whined, his hips stilling instantly as he waited for Bucky to do what he wanted with him. âWant-want you to touch it there, so muchâŚâ
Bucky pulled back, taking his mateâs cock in his hand before tilting his head so that he could lick and suck directly on those sensitive glands at the base to see if he could get them to swell. Brock was quieter now, little gasps escaping his lips, but Bucky could tell from the way that his cock was stiff and dripping precum that he was close.Â
âYou gonna cum, your highness?â, he asked, pulling off.
âY-yeah,â Brock gasped. âI wanna cum, pleaseâŚâ
âCum in my mouth.â
âS-sure?â
Bucky nodded, taking the Alphaâs cock fully and sucking to show that he really meant it.Â
The Alphaâs hips jerked and Bucky felt it swell and spill, making his Alpha come undone. He swallowed it down, and then pulled off slowly.
âDid you cum in your pants?â, Brock panted.
âYeah,â Bucky admitted. âI guess you shouldnât be the one worried about embarrassing yourself in front of royalty! We should take a shower, before getting dressed, huh?â
*
âYou look handsome,â Bucky said, watching Brock turn to view himself in the mirror.Â
âOh yeah?â
âLike a prince.â
Brock grinned. âShut up.â
Bucky smirked, coming over to him and adjusting his tie. âBut you do .âÂ
Brock blushed and loosened it again. âWe should go, donât wanna be late for the Baron.â
Zemo was waiting down by the car when they arrived.Â
âOrdinarily, I would have met you at the restaurant, but I thought it best not to violate the terms of my parole for the sake of a romantic evening.â
Bucky went over to him and slid his hands around his waist. Zemo was wearing a dark purple suit, shirt and tie. âYou like this color, huh?â
Zemo smirked. âI thought that was obvious.â
Bucky leaned in and kissed his mate softly on the lips. âIt suits you.â
âWell, are we going or what?â, Brock said, opening the door of the car. âIâm starving.â
*
Brock knew that Bucky had done his best to make him feel comfortable. It had worked for a while, but as soon as they walked into the fancy restaurant, all his anxieties came flooding back. He felt like everyone was staring at him, as if they could see how uncomfortable he was in the fancy-ass suit the Baron had made him wear. Like they knew that he was just junkyard trailer trash who had absolutely no right being in there unless he was working in the back washing pots. When the waiter came over to take their orders, he almost expected to be thrown out.Â
There was a woman at the table across from them wearing a tiara for fuck's sake.Â
âSuch an ostentatious display of wealth,â Zemo commented, glancing over at her. âSheâs clearly trying to impress her companion.â
Bucky raised his eyebrows at him. âAinât that what youâre doing? Peacocking?â
"Iâm just taking you both out for a nice evening, James,â Zemo said primly, pouring himself a glass of red wine. âNext time, you or Brock can choose where we go.â
Brock thought about where he would have chosen as he toyed with his food. He hadnât been on many dates in his life. Donny had taken him out to a bar once or twice, but he didnât wanna think about that asshole. He hadnât really gone out with Steve either, because no one had known that they were together. And with WinterâŚBrock didnât think he could call any of what had done âdatesâ.
He looked over at Bucky who was laughing at something the Baron had just said. This was probably a little fancy for him too, but he still seemed like he was enjoying himself. He couldnât help feeling a little mad at both of them, for making him come here. He just wanted to leave. He should have brought his cigarettes, because at least then he couldâve gone outside for a smoke. Brock drank some of his wine. The Baron had been keen on trying this vintage, but to Brock it didnât taste like anything special.
Heâd finished his glass and was pouring another when he became aware that the Baron was asking him something.
âHuh?â, Brock grunted.Â
âI said: maybe we can talk?â
ââBout what?â
The Baron tilted his head to one side as if Brock was puzzling him. âWell, Alice said that you and I should get to know each other a little better so, maybe we should ask each other some questions?â
Brock shrugged. âAlright, I guess.â
Zemo smiled. âWould you like to do me first?â
Brock raised his eyebrows at him. âYou sure about that Baron? This is a public place.â
Bucky nudged his elbow. âGet your mind out of the gutter and play the game.â
âAlright, alright. SoâŚwhereâd you grow up?â
âOn my familyâs estate, which was in the mountains above Novi Grad.â
âSounds fancyâ, Brock said, having expected him to say something like that.
Zemo nodded. âIt was. I still hated it, though.â
âWhy?
âI was lonely.â
âYou didnât have no brothers or sisters?â
âNo, it was just me.â
âHuh. I had loads. My family was Catholic.â
âMine also, but my parents couldnât stand to be in the same room as one another.â
Zemo took another bite of his food and said, âAsk me another.â
Brock scratched his head. âUhhh okay. Favourite sex position?â
Zemo smirked. âWhen Iâm in the middle fucking James and you knot me from behind. Whatever the word for that is. Or when youâre fucking me and James fucks my mouth, thatâs also very enjoyable. I just like to be in between youâ
Brock shook his head. âNow Iâm thinking about itâŚâ
âTherapist said you guys had to talk about stuff other than sex,â Bucky chastised.Â
âOkay. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?â
Zemo thought about this for a minute before he said. âIâve been to a lot of places.â
Brock nodded. âYeah, us too.â
âIf I could choose anywhere, I would return to Sokovia. As it was. It was so beautiful.â
âYou miss it, huh?â
âSo much. I donât have the words.â
Brock didnât know what to say to that, but luckily James had already taken the Baronâs hand and as he watched a look passed between them that he didnât understand. He wished that he could just know what they were both feeling, like they seemed to for each other.Â
âSorryâ, Brock mumbled awkwardly.
Zemo shook his head. âDonât be. Iâm happy with you, thatâs what matters.â
Brock drained the last of his wine. âIâd go to Italy,â he said after a moment.
âYouâve never been?â
He shook his head. âNope. I think my family was originally from Napoli. So Iâd go there.â
Bucky frowned, a thoughtful look coming into his expression. âI swear we went to Italy..â
âNever beenâ, Brock repeated.
âReally?â Bucky said sceptically, as though something didnât add up. âHuh, I guess not.â
âI think you went there on a mission with Jack.â
âWould that be Jack Rollins?â, Zemo interrupted. âI believe that James has mentioned him before.â
Brock didnât want to think about the fact that Jack had gone down for what they did, and that he hadnât had the guts to visit him in prison, even after all this time. Jack wouldâve visited him, if their positions had been reversed, because he wasnât a fucking coward. He was a good guy, and out of all of them it didnât make sense that he was the one paying for their crimes. He suddenly wished he had something stronger in his fancy glass than just some wine.
âYeah,â Brock said stiffly. âThatâs him.â
Bucky looked at him, and opened his mouth to say something before changing his mind.
âGo ahead,â Brock said. âI know you wanna ask me something.â
Bucky nodded, and then said. âFine. We re you guysâŚtogether?"
Brock stared back at him in confusion. He hadnât been expecting that . âUhâŚno? Why would you think that?â
âI remember that you were alwaysâŚclose.â Bucky shook his head. âI guess I thoughtâŚI dunno.â
âThat he was, what? My boyfriend?â
âYeah.â
âWell, he wasnât.â
Bucky frowned. âOkay, he wasnât your boyfriend. But I remember I was staying at your apartment in Washington one time. I donât know why I was there, but I remember walking in on you and Jack. But it seemed normal, like I already knew.â
Brock knew exactly what he was talking about. That time the cryo chamber had broken and Winter had escaped the facility, and ran across the city using their bond to find him. Brock had nearly had a heart attack when the Winter Soldier burst through the door to his HYDRA-owned apartment.Â
âWe were probably just messing around, or something,â Brock mumbled, pushing the memory away. âYou know, like guys do.â
He watched as Zemo and Bucky exchanged a look.
âWhat?â
âSorry, I might be misunderstanding,â Zemo said. âYou lived with this man?â
âWe were roommates.â
âYeah, for like thirty years,â Bucky added.
Brock made a frustrated noise. âCan we just drop it?â
âBut-â
âI said drop it.â
Bucky hung his head. âOkay, fine. Sorry.â
âWell, Italy is lovely, anyway,â Zemo said, eating the last bite of his cheesecake.
*
When they got back to the house, Brock retreated to his bedroom, locking the door behind him.
He didnât know if he wanted to make sense of everything that was going on inside his head, or for all the thoughts swirling around inside it to stop. He was still drunk, but not drunk enough. He thought about going downstairs for a beer, or three, but then decided that he couldnât face his mates like that. He was already here, in his den. He just needed space to calm down. He flopped onto the bed, tugging off the stuffy tie and tossing it aside.Â
He was never gonna be a guy that wore ties. Why was the Baron trying to make him into something he wasnât?
And Bucky, kneeling on the carpet between his legs, smirking up at him like Winter after heâd been out of cryo for too long. The two versions of his mate seemed to blur together, overlapping. Where did one end and the other began? Had those been shards of Buckyâs mind, slicing through Winterâs shattered one? Those icy blue eyes come alive with mischief, that wicked tongue saying something like, âCome on now, I know you wanna, I can feel it,â before Brock crashed their lips together and they tumbled into oblivion.Â
Brock felt like he was spiralling. He needed something to ground him, and reached underneath the bed for the lockbox. He knelt on the floor and slid it out, twisting the locks to the right combination.Â
He stared at the contents. This was it. This was his life. Well, the important parts, at least. His passport was there, along with some medical documents, a copy of his birth certificate, and other important paperwork. He brushed them aside.Â
There were his medals. The âSteve Rogers Memorial Award for Outstanding Spiritâ. Brock palmed it and rolled the cold disc of metal around in his fingers. Heâd got that for saving his squad, half of them secretly HYDRA. Not what he was looking for.Â
There were SHIELD medals, and some of those patches they gave out when you joined a new project or completed an objective in HYDRA. Those ones were more subtle than the big, shiny things SHIELD gave out. They had to be.
He picked up one, a dark embroidered patch featuring the snarling face of a doberman. There was no writing on it of course, but Brock knew what it meant. Handler to the Asset. Others featured a hand grasping an axe, bolts of lightning, a skull, an eagle. He pushed them aside, along with a small bottle of cologne and a black leather-bound notebook.
He paused for a moment at a picture frame. It was just a little cheap frame, big enough for one standard sized photograph. Brock held it for a moment. It still had the flier in, advertising the cheap price of just four dollars and ninety-nine cents. âTreasure your memoriesâ, it instructed, in a font designed to look nostalgic and old-timey. The photo on the flier was of an old lady laughing. Her hair was short and tightly permed, her face round and merry. She was wearing a cardigan, with a striped apron over it - clearly some family mealtime, a happy, simple moment. Brock stared at it, then carefully put it back in the box.
His hand came to rest on a small scrap of black leather and gripped it tightly in his fist. He closed his eyes and took a long breath. Was he really doing this again? Yes. He had to. He didnât have any other option, any other way to relieve the tension that was coiling in his body like a spring. He didnât want to go crazy and break shit, he wanted to act like he was keeping it together. He didnât want his mates to know how messed up he felt inside.
âAlright,â he mumbled to himself. âGuess this is happening.â
Whatâs the harm in it anyway? Brock thought as he closed the box and climbed back onto the bed, unfastening his shirt. Itâs not like his mates were gonna find out. They seemed way too busy doing whatever it was they were doing in their bedroom. He felt a pang of guilt, of longing. It wasnât too late, he could go join his matesâŚno, he couldnât. That wasnât what he needed: this is what he needed.
The scrap of leather was short, only about six inches long, black, soft and flexible. He brought it to his nose and inhaled the scent. Even after all these years, it still smelled so beautifully of Winter . His delicious aroma, mixed with the heady fragrance of the leather: it was perfect. Brock felt himself getting hard, and dropped the strap for long enough to pull down his pants and release his cock. He reached over and grab bed the bottle of lube from the drawer in the bedside table. He drizzled a little across his hand before wrapping his hand around his cock, squeezing it just right, tracing his thumb over the slick head. He pulled the leather strap to his nose again and inhaled deeply, nuzzling into Winterâs scent; the scent of the forest that Brock sometimes thought he knew better than his own, only the sweat-soaked leather made it even richer. As though his mateâs very essence had coalesced, here, fusing into something so perfect that heâd never been able to throw it away even after all these years.Â
Brockâs hand worked his dick, easily gliding over it with the help of the lube. Winter used to slick up for him like that, wanting him so badly that his body would perfectly prepare itself to take his cock. He missed Winter wanting him like that, like he had no other thought except his insatiable need for his mate, wanting his Alpha to take him as he looked up at him with blue eyes so full of desire and longing for him.Â
He came with a growl, arching his back against the sheets and spilling onto his chest. He lay for a few minutes to catch his breath, the scent of the scrap of Winterâs discarded uniform still filling his nose. Eventually, he cleaned himself up in the en suite, before coming back to the bed and laying down again. He held the leather gently, rubbing it against his face and imagining that Winter was there as he fell into a deep sleep.
*
Brock woke up the next day to Bucky tapping on the door. âHey, Bones? You up?â
âHuh? Yeah, just getting there!â he called back, rolling over and sliding the little piece of leather under the pillows.Â
âYou wanna come down for breakfast?â
âYeah, Iâll be right down! Lemme just get dressed first.â
He quickly pulled on shorts and a t- shirt, and unlocked the door.Â
âHey, Iâm going to the garden center out of town later,â Bucky said as they walked downstairs. âNeed to get a few more tools if weâre gonna tackle that jungle out there. Wanna come?â
âWhat about the Baron?â
âIt would just be us. Zemoâs got some online lecture heâs watching.â
âUhh,â Brock thought for a moment. âOkay. Can I drive?â
âYou can drive?â Bucky asked in mock surprise, and laughed at Brock's indignant face. âSure, why not?â
*
Those boys certainly are taking their time , Zemo thought. He didnât mind, of course - those two having time together was a good thing, especially after last night. It had definitely been a mistake to choose that restaurant. He should have let Brock choose somewhere he felt comfortable. But it certainly wasnât the end of the world, and they could just do something else next time that they would all enjoy.Â
He cast about for what to do next. His lecture had finished, heâd read the next chapter of his book in the morning sunshine, and lunch was already prepared. Which only left his chores.Â
Helmut was aware of how privileged heâd been in the past - never having to clean up after himself, always having a servant to bring him his food, do his laundry, and keep his house tidy - and he was determined not to let that make him complacent in their new home.
He grabbed the clothes basket and strode upstairs, picking up a pair of boxer shorts he came across on the landing. Brockâs, obviously. James was only messy within the confines of his side of the closet. But for some reason their Alpha seemed to have no problem stripping off and leaving his clothes in a pile wherever he stood. Zemo rolled his eyes and tossed them into the basket.Â
He did a little sweep of the room he and James were using as their main bedroom, emptying their laundry bin. Then, he paused outside of Brockâs room, dreading the mess that he would find within, before he pushed open the door.
As expected, Brock hadnât used the laundry bag theyâd given him. Instead, socks, pants and vests littered the floor, and Zemo bent down with a sigh to start clearing them. He threw the wet flannel that had been left hanging over the side of the sink basin into the basket, then washed his hands for good measure.
The scent of Alpha in the room was ripe, and Zemo opened the window to let some fresh air in. It was usually a scent he very much appreciated, but right now, it was too overpowering for even Zemo. His senses were still heightened so soon after heat, and it was a great relief when the breeze lifted the fog of Rumlowâs funk. Then his senses alerted him to something else, and he curiously sniffed the air. What was that? He couldnât quite place itâŚ
Turning around, Zemo traced the scent to the bed and sniffed around cautiously. Brock had laid here last night, and heâd brought himself to climax but there was something else, too. Reaching his hand under the pillow, Zemo pulled out the scrap of leather, and lifted it to his nose.
Oh no, he thought, cold dread settling in his stomach. The material had clearly been worn by James close to his body, without a thorough washing. It was deeply imbued with his scent, earthy, warm, natural- and combined with the smell of leather, and the smallest hint of Brockâs rich, smoky smell too- it was perfection.
And it was terrible.
He knew immediately that this little scrap must have belonged to Winter at one time. Well, not belonged, because the Winter Soldier didnât own anything. Everything he possessed was owned by HYDRA, including his bodily autonomy.
Zemo tucked it back under the pillow and took a seat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. So, it seemed that Brock still owned items that had belonged to the Winter Soldier. He wasnât exactly surprised, but it did make him wonder what else he might have. What if his parole officer decided to inspect the property and found an illegal firearm that had previously been property of HYDRA? Zemo didnât like to think what would happen then.Â
It wasnât difficult to work out that if he did own such a thing, Brock would be keeping it in the black lockbox that he was so protective of. And who knew what else was in there dating back to his HYDRA daysâŚ
Now he was curious. Zemo glanced under the bed, and sure enough there it was. An obvious hiding spot, but then, he supposed that Brock hadnât expected him to come snooping in his room. Or that heâd deliberately try to open it.
Zemo knelt down on the floor and pulled out the familiar black metal box. He shook it, listening to the rattle of objects inside. It was fastened shut and secured with a combination lock. Zemo turned it over in his fingers and examined it. It wasnât one that could be easily picked, and the only way he could think to open it would be to cut through the metal or find the code. Since he didnât want Brock to realize what he was up to, that left him only one option.
He began flicking the dials idly as he pondered what he was about to do. He knew that it was wrong to intrude upon his mateâs privacy like this, but his concern for the contents of the box overrode that feeling. He could feel guilty later, when he knew that there wasnât anything worse than Winter Soldier memorabilia inside.Â
Zemo knew that it would have to be a memorable number, so he tried Rumlowâs birthday, then Jamesâ. He tried all zeros, and all nines, and then sixty-nine sixty-nine. No luck. At just that moment, he felt James getting closer through the bond, so he pushed the box back into its hiding spot, and walked back upstairs to greet his mates.
*
As much as he tried to put it out of his mind, Zemo couldnât help thinking about that box over the next few days. If anything, his concern only seemed to grow and it got to the point where he could hardly think of anything except what was inside it. He knew that sometimes he could be single-minded, when he became focused on an idea, but he really couldnât help it. Not when it concerned his mates.Â
He had the feeling that if he brought it up, Brock would, understandably, feel attacked and deny everything. Zemo didnât really blame him for keeping something that had his mateâs scent on it all those years theyâd be separated. He did worry, however, how James would react to the news that Brock still had what was essentially a trophy of something belonging to Winter. He didnât want them taking a step back, when theyâd already made so much progress. So if he could examine the contents himself, then he would be able to decide how best to proceed.Â
Luckily, James and Brock had decided to go see a movie together that afternoon.
 âCome on, Baron, it will be fun!â Brock had pestered, but Zemo just yawned and stretched out on the couch as if he was planning on taking a nap.
âNo, moj tigric , Iâm afraid I wonât be joining you, Iâm planning on working on my memoir.â
âDoesnât sound as fun as Smash Legacy 2 . But whatever.â
âHave fun.â
As soon as his mates were out the door, Zemo crept upstairs to Brockâs bedroom. He would have a couple of hours at least to try as many combinations as possible, and set an alarm on his phone in case he became immersed in the task and lost track of time. Two hours would be safe. No matter what he was doing, when that alarm went off, he had to return the box to its hiding place and leave the room.
He pulled the box out and sat cross legged on the floor next to it. There were four digits on the combination lock, which meant 10,000 possible codes if Brock had selected one at random. But most people donât pick them at random, and instead chose something they could remember easily, something burned into their memory that they could recall years or decades into the future. If Brock had chosen a date, that cut down the possibilities dramatically.Â
Zemo got to work.
He was in mid-March when he first started to get bored, and somewhere in June when he started to wonder if heâd made a mistake. Maybe the box would explode when he opened it and kill him. Well, that would be something different for his mates to come home to, for sure.
In September, he wished heâd brought a cup of tea up w ith him, and in November he started to plan his next angle of attack when this date strategy ultimately failed him.
Until December 23rd.
The lock sprang open with an audible click. Zemo paused in shock - he wasnât even confident this method would work, but here he was, holding the lock in his hand. He hesitated. This was the last possible moment to back out of his plan, to stop this betrayal of his mate. But he couldnât, not now. He opened the box.
Zemo wasnât sure what he expected. Brock had told them previously that there wasnât a gun in it, but that denial had seemed suspiciously specific to Zemo. But here was proof - no gun, no ammunition, nothing explosive or corrosive.
He carefully moved the scented leather strap aside, glanced at Brockâs passport photo, and flicked through his medical records. Nothing dangerous there. He shifted an empty photo frame, and pawed through some of the embroidered patches. He recognised some of those patches from HYDRA - he had come across many in his research. They would never have the name or date of the mission on them, and their images were abstract, to stop a direct line being drawn between these awards and what operations they were linked to. The snarling dog, given out to those high-ranking in the Winter Soldier program. The lightning bolts of Operation Crunch. The dragon with glowing eyes given to SHIELD infiltrators. Many more that Zemo had never seen before. The sight of them in his mateâs room in the house they shared made him feel sick.
There were medals, too - a few stars and discs, these ones emblazoned with color and pride. All of them were from SHIELD, and each backed with their resplendent eagle logo. Outstanding spirit. Bravery in the Field. Ten years of loyal service.
Next, he found a bottle of cologne, with nothing but the word âDIOSâ printed on the side. It was half-empty, and he sprayed a little on his wrist curiously. The smell was cloying and thick, and Zemo could tell it was years out of date. But even so, he could sense notes of spice and castoreum. It was like something an old man would wear, and he disliked the way it hung around him like an oppressive cloud. He wiped it away as best he could on his pants, snapped the lid back on the bottle, and put it back in the box.
And that was when he saw it.Â
His first thought was that it couldnât be what he thought it was, because it wasnât supposed to exist. Heâd come across vague mentions of it, but nothing that heâd been able to decrypt entirely. Zemo picked up the black leather bound notebook and examined it. Heâd held a book just like this one before, but that one had been red. Where this one had a faint grey cross, the other had a star.
Zemo let it fall open at random. It was written in Russian, of course- the lingua franca of HYDRA. Luckily, heâd studied the language during his time incarcerated in Berlin when thereâd been little else to occupy himself. But even so, the language was technical and at first glance it was hard to understand. Still, Zemo managed to read a little.Â
Subject 5 demonstrates a very strong preference for homosexual imagery. 5 is noted to have a particular proclivity to⌠even when under a suppression regimen. As is common in male Alphas⌠5 has an area of increased sensitivity on the underside of his⌠and pays particular attention to this spot whenâŚ
There were several words that Zemo didnât know, but he suspected that the words he didnât know were âknotâ, âpenisâ and âmasturbatingâ.Â
5 has been observedâŚin several instances, even when not in the presence of a potential mateâŚ.habits are otherwise normal in length and frequency, although 5 reports some disturbing fantasiesâŚ.reprogramming not recommended before introduction to the Asset - see attached report 322c.
Zemo stopped reading, feeling very disturbed. It was written in such a detached, clinical way that it was hard to connect his mate, Brock, to âsubject 5â, because that was surely who they were referring to. He couldnât believe that he held in his hands a blueprint to his matesâ shared history, the story of how they bonded, a guidebook to all the experiments performed on them and the missions they went on. It had been such a glaring omission in the leaked HYDRA files, and everyone assumed it had been destroyed.Â
He also couldnât believe that Brock had kept this a secret from James all this time.
Zemo jumped as his phone alarm went off. He hastily returned the book to the box, closed it and slid it back under the bed. Then he got to his feet and walked out of the room, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.Â
When his mates arrived home ten minutes later, Zemo was in the kitchen preparing dinner.
âHow was it?â, he asked, trying to keep the strain out of his voice.Â
âEh, Smash Legacy 1 was better.â Brock said, opening the refrigerator and helping himself to a beer.Â
Then the Alpha froze, hand on the door. âYou smell something?â
âHmm?â Zemo said, focused on the chorizo he was frying. âThis?â
âNo, I smell it too,â Bucky sniffed around. âItâs like a⌠a perfume kind of smell.â
Oh hell, the cologne! Zemo thought. Heâd made sure to wash his hands thoroughly to get the cloying scent off, but heâd forgotten that heâd initially wiped them on his pants.
âItâs on you.â Brock said, glaring at Zemo.
âAh, yes,â Helmut shrugged, attempting nonchalance. âI decided to treat myself to a new fragrance. Unfortunately, it doesnât work with my scent profile. I thought Iâd managed to scrub it all off, but perhaps not.â
He felt a sudden tug of curiosity from James in their bond. Can he tell Iâm lying?
âI donât like it,â Bucky said, wrinkling up his nose. âI really, really donât like it. Reminds me of⌠something. Something bad.â
âBe assured that I wonât buy it again,â Zemo said, turning back to the food, his mind racing. What the hell had been in that bottle?
James shook his head. âYeah, please donât. Listen, Iâm gonna go upstairs and meditate. Call me when dinnerâs ready?â
âOf course.â
Zemo continued cooking the meat, but he could feel Brockâs eyes boring into the back of his head.Â
âYou werenât trying out no ânew fragranceâ,â the Alpha growled lowly. âI know exactly where you got it!â
Zemo calmly put the spatula down and turned to face his mate. âOh?â
âYeah, got it going through my things like a fuckinâ rat! Who gave you the right, huh?â
Brock had stepped closer, but Zemo held his gaze. âApologies,â he said, his tone not apologetic in the slightest. âWhen I discovered that you had a trophy with the Winter Soldierâs scent on it, I was concerned what other dangerous things you might have kept from your time spent in HYDRA.â
âSo thatâs it!â Brock shouted. âI knew you didnât trust me! Wonât even let me have one fuckinâ tiny space to myself in your house! All this time you were just pretendinâ like you cared about me, but you were just using me and tryinâ to make me into somethinâ I ainât!â
âNo, thatâs not what I-â
âFuck you, Baron!â Rumlow snarled, stalking out of the room and down to the basement.Â
Zemo heard footsteps on the stairs and a moment later Bucky rushed back into the kitchen.Â
âWhat the hellâs going on?â, he said, coming over to where Zemo stood frozen. Zemo closed his eyes, feeling his mateâs alarm and concern for him through the bond, and then a flash of Brockâs tangled up anger. He opened his eyes when he felt James take his hand.Â
âThe foodâs burning.â
Zemo took it off the heat and turned off the stove. âIt doesnât matter,â he said, shaking his head.Â
âWhy was he shouting?â
âBrockâs angry that I went through his personal possessions,â Zemo said. âI violated his privacyâ
Bucky frowned, confusion and anger written across his face. âWhat? Why? Zemo, you know how important privacy is to him.â
âI do, but it was necessary. Especially in light of what I found.â
âWell, what? What did you find?â
âJames, he has the Project Crossbones book.â
*
Chapter Text
 *
Bucky stared back at Zemo, uncomprehending. âZemo, I have no idea what the Project Crossbones book is.â
Zemo sighed, and took a seat at the kitchen island. âItâs a companion piece of sorts to the Winter Soldier book. Itâs all the information about your bond, how they forced it, how HYDRAâŚmaintained it. It could be the key to understanding everything that happened between the two of you.â
Bucky stared at him in disbelief, remembering a pen held in a technicianâs white-gloved hands, writing something in a little black book as Rumlow ran through ACT protocol after a mission. âWhat? No, all of that was destroyedâŚâ
Zemo shook his head. âIt wasnât. Itâs here in our house. In Brockâs lockbox.â
Buckyâs heart was suddenly pounding. He could feel it in his temples. All the data HYDRA kept about him and Bones, all the records of their bonding, their mating⌠it was all here. It had been here the whole time. Bucky leaned back against the counter, his head spinning.
âThat⌠that bastard!â
âJames-â
âI canât believe heâd keep this from me! He knew what it meant to me!â
âI donât think that he-â
Bucky shook his head, brushing past his mate, refusing to meet his eyes. âI gotta go.â
âBut-â
âI gotta clear my head, Zemo.â
Zemo heard the door slam behind him. Perfect. This is why heâd needed more time to consider how to tell James about this situation tactfully. But now it was too late. Brock was angry with him, and James was angry with Brock.Â
He poured himself a measure of whiskey with a sigh, then stared down into his glass.Â
*
Zemo was in the living room and on his third full glass by the time James returned.Â
âI ran over to the next town and back,â he said, coming in and slumping down in the armchair across from Zemo.
âFeel any better?â
Bucky shook his head. âNot really.â He glanced over his shoulder. âHe still down in the basement?â
Zemo nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey. âYes, I believe so.â
Bucky turned back to Zemo and leaned forward slightly. âGood, because I need you to tell me exactly what you found.â
Zemo sighed. Heâd known this was coming. âYouâre not going to like it.â
James nodded in agreement. âYeah, I know. But I still need to hear it.â
âOkay, well. I went up to Brockâs room to do the laundry and I found a broken leather strap in his bed.â
âUh-huh.â
âAnd it had the Winter Soldierâs scent on it.â
Bucky frowned. âAnd thatâsâŚdifferent from my scent?â
âIn a way, yes,â Zemo confirmed. âIt was clear that the strap was something from HYDRA, and it made me wonder what else he had hidden in that box."
âYou didnât mention any of this to me before you broke into it,â Bucky stated.
âNo, I wanted to find out for myself what was inside.â
âWhy?â
âTo prevent exactly this situation from occurring.â
âYou canât justâŚcontrol everything like that, Zemo!" Bucky exclaimed incredulously. "You should have come and talked to me first.â
Zemo contemplated this for a moment before saying, âYes, I suppose youâre right. I think I was just worried about how you would react. Things between you and Brock have been getting better recently. I didnât want to ruin that.â
âYou didnât,â Bucky said. âHe was the one who had the book the whole timeâŚit was in his box, wasnât it?â
Zemo nodded and took another sip of his whiskey. âYes, it was. Along with some other HYDRA relics. Harmless things, like patches, medals, a bottle of cologneâŚâ
âYeah, that smellâŚâ Bucky shuddered. âIt was real bad. Creeps me out that he has that. Worse than him having something with myâŚwith the Winter Soldierâs scent on it.â
Bucky paused, before continuing. âBut keeping the book from me? That Iâm really not okay with. I should have known there was a reason he was so touchy about that box of his.â
Zemo tilted his head to one side. âWell, I think itâs also that he has so very little in his life, it makes sense that he is soâŚprotective of what he does have.â
âBecause what he has is HYDRA relics.â
âWell, yes. You know better than I that it was his whole adult life. Almost thirty years.â
âRight, but that was my life too, not just his. He doesnât get to decide what I do or donât know.â
âIt may just be habit,â Zemo said thoughtfully. âI imagine that heâs used to making those kind of decisions on your behalf.â
Bucky sighed. âYeah, I think youâre right.â
âListen,â Zemo said. âWhile you were out, Iâve been thinking. The book is written in Russian. Brock doesnât understand Russian, does he?â
James frowned. âI remember him speaking Russian. Not well thoughâŚI would have to translate for him sometimes.â
âSo, might it not be reasonable to assume that he doesn't know the full contents of the book?â
âI guess,â Bucky said thoughtfully. âBut heâs gotta know what something like that would mean to me. Just the idea that I could see it written down, see exactly what they did to me, so that I donât have to just rely on memoriesâŚâ he trailed off, lapsing into silence.
âMaybe thatâs why he didnât say anything,â Zemo said. âHe might be worried about what you might discover. He may have been trying to protect you from that.â
Bucky shook his head. âLike I said, he doesnât get to make that decision for me.â
âI know, I know,â Zemo said placatingly. âAnd if itâs something you want to do, you should read it.â
âI canât read Cyrillic.â
âWell, then I can help you. We can make sense of it together.â
Bucky walked over and sat down beside Zemo on the couch. âThank you,â he said, taking his mate's hand. Zemo leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek.Â
"Brock doesn't know that I am aware of the book,â Zemo said after a moment. âJust that I went through his things.â
"We should let him cool down before talking to him," Bucky said. "Give him some time."
*
When his initial rage had passed, Bones slumped down against the wall of the basement. Theyâd only managed to clear out a portion of it, and even that small space was already getting filled with the tools and paint they were using to fix up the house.
There was an old mattress leaning against the wall, and Brock had flipped it onto the floor.Â
Heâd certainly slept on worse before. He thought about that time only a few months ago when his mates had locked him in the boiler room of their apartment building. At least he wasnât hungover and coming out of a rut this time.Â
When he heard the sound of water running through the pipes, he knew the Baron was in the shower, and used that as his chance to sneak upstairs. He quickly grabbed his lockbox and stole a few beers and some snacks from the fridge before hurrying back down to the basement. He obviously had to guard his property now. Nothing was safe from the prying of that nosy Omega.
Sitting down on the old mattress, Brock pulled the box next to him.Â
âHow did the little bastard even know Jackâs birthday?â, he grumbled to himself as he opened it and inspected the contents. The Baron hadnât taken anything - well, except a spritz of cologne. He pulled out the leather strap, rubbing it against his cheek, but it felt somehow wrong now. Pushing everything else aside - the badges and medals, the tattered old notebook, the paperwork - he took the photo frame out and set it on a pile of boxes next to his makeshift bed, gazing up at it just the way he used to. In the half-light, she looked just how he remembered her.
Brock didnât bother locking the box again - what would be the point? Instead he cracked open a can of beer. He chugged half of it down, and then the rest of it before opening another. But even drinking couldnât calm him down, and he began agitatedly pacing the cluttered little room. He was careful enough to avoid the paint sheets left on the floor theyâd been using to protect the furniture. Their furniture, in their house- except, it was really Zemoâs, because he was the one whoâd bought everything, and Brock was just living here. The Omega had made that very clear when heâd decided to invade his privacy and start going through the only possessions he had.Â
I could always leave , Brock thought. Thereâs nothing forcing me to stay. I could take my stuff, walk up those stairs and never look back.
Bonds might be unbreakable, but relationships werenât. After all, heâd lived for years without Winter. Their bond was weak enough he could be miles away from him without it hurting. Brock hesitated, realizing he hadnât yet tested it with the Baron. He didnât know if it worked the same way at all.Â
All of this was so hard, maybe leaving would be best for all of them. It was a familiar line of thinking for Brock, and it was comforting to know that he had an out if he needed it. Brock wasnât good at living by himself, but he could do it. Zemo and Bucky would be happy together, and heâd never need to worry about them. And they wouldnât have to worry about him anymore either. He could just fade away, out of their lives for good. Heâd never see either of them ever again.Â
Brock sat back down on the mattress and took another swig of his beer.
After heâd sold out HYDRA, the government had kept him on a tight leash, dragging him in for questioning every few days; showing him pictures and forcing him to relive every moment of it in excruciating detail. But after a while, theyâd put him in WITSEC and tried to set him up with a name, a new apartment, a new job. A whole new life, without his mate or Jack, or anyone that he knew. Heâd really believed that heâd never see Winter again, that heâd be stuck at his dead-end job packing groceries into bags at the end of a checkout line for the rest of his life. He was meant to smile at the customers and ask them if theyâd found everything they needed, but he soon realized that his new scars scared people, and in any case it was easier to keep quiet. That at least was something he was good at.Â
The morning that it happened was like most mornings. Heâd had a raging hangover, and was clumsily packing up some old ladyâs shopping, when he heard a shout and looked up in time to see the cashier just⌠disintegrate. Brock stared at the horrifying sight of her body just crumbling away into dust, and then he heard screams and the sound of a car crashing out in the parking lot, and then he felt it.
In that moment, Brock knew with horrifying certainty that Winter was dead. Some part of his mind that had always buzzed with a gentle static went suddenly, irreversibly silent, and left nothing but a gaping black hole of pain and grief and emptiness.
He dropped to his knees, his mateâs name on his lips, so lost in the utter destruction of his bond that he didnât even notice his own body falling away into dust.
ThenâŚit was over. His bond was suddenly back, like a light that had been switched on again. And he was lying on the store floor wondering if heâd just had a panic attack. Heâd pulled himself up just in time to see the cashier reappear - right on top of a new cashier heâd never seen before.
As soon as he found out what had happened - and got his head around the fact heâd been gone for five whole years - he couldnât help but think about what heâd felt before he vanished. Winter must have been dusted too, and Brock knew then that that pain, that grief⌠it was waiting for one of them for real.
So even if Brock left right now, if something happened to him and he was hundreds of miles from them, theyâd still feel it. And he remembered when heâd been really low after he bonded to Zemo, and heâd been begging Winter- begging Bucky to kill him, and Bucky had said that he wouldnât put Zemo through that again.Â
For the first time, Brock really thought about the fact that the Baron had lost his bondmate, and his kid, too. No wonder he was fucked up, and maybe scared of losing his two new mates. And even if he was mad at him, Brock really didnât want to lose either of them. He didnât want to walk up those stairs and out of their lives. He was done imagining that it would be easy, that he could do it without consequences. He didnât want to do it.
I want to stay , he thought. I really want to be with them. Be a good mate. And I donât wanna lose them. I already felt what it was like to lose Winter once. And I donât wanna lose the Baron eitherâŚeven if Iâm mad at him for what he did.
 *
It wasnât until the next morning that Brock decided to come back upstairs. He'd slept down in the unfinished basement curled up on the mattress, using the paint sheets as a blanket. When he came into the kitchen he ignored them both and went to the fridge, chugging down half a carton of orange juice.
âWe know about the book," Bucky said from his seat at the counter, not able to stand the silence for another moment.
Brock turned to face him, a look of confusion on his face. "What book?"
âThe Project Crossbones book,â Zemo said. âYou have it in your lockbox.â
"Didn't you think it was something you should have shared with James?" Zemo asked.
"You're accusing me , Baron?â Brock snapped. âYou're the one who snuck into my room, unlocked the box and went through my stuff! If anyone's on trial here, it's you!â
Zemo tilted his head to one-side. "If I had not done so, you would have kept the book to yourself, no?"
"Okay, stop," Bucky said, getting in between them. "Zemo, stop winding him up. It's not helping. You shouldn't have gone through his things and you know it.'
"But-"
"You could have just talked to us," Bucky went on. "So don't pretend like you were doing this for me, when it was about you and your damn curiosity."
"Yeah, exactly!" Brock said.
"I'm not happy with you either," Bucky said, turning to him. "You shouldn't have kept something like that a secret. Not when itâs about both of us. And I don't wanna hear anything about how you were trying to protect me."
âProtect you from what?â Brock growled. âYouâre talking about the book in my box, right?Â
Well I canât even read it, itâs all in Russian!â
âThen why do you have it?â Bucky snapped back.
â'cause it-â Brock started, almost yelling, then caught himself. He took a deep breath, then spoke more calmly. â'cause itâs got pictures of you in there. Me anâ you.â
The three of them stood in silence for a moment.
âDo you understand the significance of that book, Brock?â Zemo asked gently.
Rumlow looked at the floor. âThey used to write measurements and stuff in it,â he said. âReward protocols. Nutrition schedules. How to⌠punish Win- I mean, the Winter Soldier - if he did things wrong. Stuff like that.â
âYes,â Zemo nodded. âBut itâs more than that. Many of the HYDRA files refer to information in that book, though it was presumed destroyed when the Triskelion fell. It was an ongoing commentary on the entire Crossbones project: the plan to bond the Winter Soldier to an Alpha to better control him.â
âI stole it to protect you,â Brock said. âI didnât want anyone linking us together in case they tried to use our bond to capture you.â
âYou didnât destroy it, though.â Bucky said quietly.
âNo,â Brock said, âIt was⌠one of the only things that showed it really happened. Always figured one day Iâd learn to read Russian and work out what it all meant. Why they picked me, what all those tests were about, why they did those things to us.â
âI want to know too,â Bucky said to his Alpha. âAll of it. Right from the start.â
Brock shook his head. âYou donât wanna know about that stuff, Buck. A lot of itâs real bad.â
"No,â Bucky said sharply. âYou don't get to decide what I'm protected from anymore. I deserve to know the truth, and I don't want any more secrets between us. We need to be able to trust each other.â
Brock shot a surly look at Zemo. "Tell him that."
"I am sorry for invading your privacy, Brock,â Zemo reached out a hand to touch Brockâs back, but the Alpha stepped away. âBut as I said yesterday, I was concerned that there may have been something in that box that could jeopardize the terms of my parole. Maybe a firearm-â
âBaron, I know you're not allowed any shit like that!â Brock snapped, his anger suddenly peaking again so hard both his mates felt it through their bond. âYou think I'd risk everything over a stupid gun?â
"Okay, Zemo, you need to apologize,â Bucky interrupted. âWhat you did was wrong and I think you know that."
"I felt like I had toâŚ" Zemo began. "But you're right, James. That doesn't excuse it." He gave Brock an apologetic look. "I know that if someone went into my nest without my consent, I'd be feeling how you are now. Hurt, betrayed. Angry. It's perfectly understandable, and I'm sorry."
Brock held his gaze for a minute before looking away.
"It'll be better when I get my den," he mumbled.Â
"Yes, I agree."
"I'm still mad at you."
Zemo sighed. "I know. I really am sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"
Brock shrugged. "Nothin'. Just wanna get my den fixed and have a lock on the door."
"I swear to you, I will not do it again."
"Yeah, but you might."
Zemo shook his head. "No. I can see how much it hurt you. I should have just come to you straight away. Truthfully, I was scared. If I give the authorities any reason to separate us, they will. But I betrayed you, and Iâm sorry for that. I just wish you could trust me, that all of us trusted one another. But perhaps that's wishful thinking, given our histories."
"I don't think so," Bucky said. "It just means we have to work harder and all be honest with each other from now on. If we can do that, I think we'll be ok."
Brock nodded. "Yeah. No more lies or snooping. You got that, Baron?"
Zemo nodded seriously. "Yes. I promise."
"Speaking of honesty," Bucky said. "I want to see the book."
*
Brock went downstairs. He returned soon after with the black book in hand and set it down on the counter in front of Bucky.Â
Bucky was suddenly very aware of his heart pounding in his chest as he looked at it. Heâd seen technicians writing in this book, and Pierce too. But heâd never been able to catch a glimpse of its pages, or been allowed to touch it or read it, and now here it was sitting right in front of him.Â
âLike I said, I never read it properly,â Brock said, looking down at it. âBut I shouldnât have kept the book from you, Buck. The Baron was right, I shouldâve known youâd wanna see it.â
Zemo came around the counter and stood next to him. âA strange, but fortuitous coincidence that I learned Russian while incarcerated,â he said. âThough I canât say Iâm looking forward to translating this particular text.â
âWill you do it?â, Bucky asked.
Zemo nodded. âOf course I will. I would do anything for you, James. You know that.â He looked up at Brock. âDo you want to read it as well?â
âYeah, I guess so. Itâs probably best that I know what they wrote about us, even if part of me doesnât wanna know.â
âSo weâll read it together, with myself translating and then discuss it further in therapy, if necessary.â
âSpeaking of therapy,â Bucky said. âIf we are doing this, I wanna talk about how we bonded in our session this week. From you, before I read it in here.â
âYou sure?â, Brock asked stiffly. âYou said before you werenât ready.â
âI know, but now I feel like I can handle it.â
Brock shrugged. âAlright, but youâre not gonna like it.â
âI guess Iâll find out.â
*
The trio sat in the waiting room on three separate chairs. Zemo had driven, so theyâd arrived early, and the receptionist had offered them a drink while they waited. Bucky was idly flicking through a leaflet advertising a support group for bonded Betas. Helmut had brought with him a Russian novel, to help himself brush up on the language before he started translating the book. Brock tapped his foot against the coffee table nervously, unable to contain his restless energy.
âHey, Baron,â he said. âYou, uhh. You ever had any therapy yourself?â
âHmm?â Zemo looked up. âWhat for?â
âYou know,â Brock gestured vaguely. âAll of the⌠stuff.â
âI had some mandatory counselling in prison,â his mate replied, closing his book. âBut I havenât had any need for personal therapy otherwise.â
âAre you sure?â
Zemo narrowed his eyes at him. "What are you implying?â
âJusâ...â Brock thought again about that hideous screaming void heâd felt when Bucky had turned to dust. âYou been through a lot.â
âAnd Iâve managed quite well,â Zemo said sharply. âI donât need your concern.â
Brock huffed. He could tell that heâd offended Zemo, and didnât want to make the situation any worse. Instead, he turned to Bucky. âDo you remember getting dusted?â, he asked.
âYeah,â James said, folding the leaflet up and stuffing it in his pocket. âI was one of the first to go.â
âLucky,â Brock mumbled.Â
âJames, Brock, Helmut?â, Alice called, appearing in the doorway of the waiting room. âIâm ready for you now.â
*
The session was a difficult one. They talked about the book, and boundaries, and privacy, and when keeping a secret was wrong. But then Alice asked if they wanted to discuss something in particular that they might find in the notes.
"I want to talk about how Brock and I bonded," Bucky responded.
"Are you sure, James?" Alice as ked.Â
Bucky nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready. Iâve been talking with my other therapist as well, and he thinks I can handle it too.â He hesitated, before saying. âThe thing is, I don't remember much of it."
"Then why don't we start with what you do remember?", Alice suggested gently.
"Okay, so I remember Brock fighting other Alphas in front of me. When he won, Pierce was there kind of pushing me towards him."
"Is that Alexander Pierce?" Alice asked.
"Yeah. And I remember smelling Brock and it was really good, I wanted him. And I remember he looked really young and I felt kind of⌠protective of him. But I don't remember much else, until after we'd bonded."
"Do you remember the event that Bucky is talking about, Brock?â
Brock nodded. "Uh-huh, yeah. Pierce wanted the five of us Alphas to fight for dominance to see which of us would win. And he wanted to make sure that you saw all that.â
âI remember you kept getting knocked down.â
âI wasn't about to let no one beat me. I was kind of scared when you came up close to me after. I'd seen you in the field so I knew what you could do. And I was wondering if I'd made a mistake, signing up to do this because now it was real and you seemedâŚâ
âLike what?â
âSort of like Zemo, when heâs in heat. You were trying to lick me and scent me. Unbonded Betas donât do that. I said this to you before, but the techs must have given you something. Some kind of Omega hormones probably. I donât know.â
âIt would likely be in the book,â Zemo added. âThat would be the sort of technical information they would have made a note of.â
Bucky nodded. âI remember that,â he said. âI remember wanting you and then nothing until after we bonded.â
âReally? Nothing?â
âThereâs little glimpses of thingsâŚI just donât know if thatâs from then, or some other time. It all kind of blurs together.â
âThe next time I saw you was really weird. They set up a table and some chairs in the lab and brought us food, like we were on a date or something.â
âWhat food?â
âUhâŚI think it was mac ânâ cheese? Crappy stuff from a box. I remember you liked it, though.â
âWhat else?â
âWe were supposed to ask each other questions. Normal stuff. You said you liked my scent, I remember that. I donât remember what we talked about exactly. The whole time I was just trying to think of something to say and the technicians were just there watching us and taking notes.â Brock smiled slightly. âI remember we ended up holding hands and I scented your wrist. You smelled so good, I couldnât resist.â
Bucky searched his memory for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh. âNo, I donât remember. Sorry. That doesnât sound too bad though, I guess.â
âYeah, that part was fine. The next time, they put us in a cell together - they called it the mating cell - and I was supposed to just lay on the bed while you did whatever you wanted to me.â
Bucky stared at him in horror. â...What did I do?â
âNothing bad. Well, I was kind of scared when you climbed on top of me and started growling, but then you started scenting me and licking my neck. And I remember thinking it was weird, because thatâs always what I wanted to do during sex, but I always tried not to do that because I didnât wanna seem like a freak.â
âWhat did you do?â
âI didnât do anything, just lay there. And you pulled my shirt off and started touching my chest, and I remember really wanting to just grab you and kiss you but I wasnât allowed to. Then IâŚuh,â he trailed off, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. âI got hard and you started touching me. Gave me a hand job.â
Bucky was silent for a moment before he said. âSorry.â
âNo! It was good. I wanted you to.â
âWhat about when weâŚdid we have sex?â
âYou donât remember?â
âI told you I donât.â
âSorry,â Brock mumbled. He cleared his throat, scratching the scars on his cheek. âSo, they left us alone and weâŚit just kind of happened.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âWell, you seemed like you really wanted to. You were all over me, like last time. Except this time they let me actually do stuff too, I didnât have to just keep still and lay there.â
Bucky shifted uncomfortably. It was unsettling that he didnât have any memory of this. Sure, he had memories of times he and Brock had been intimate, but nothing that felt like a first time.
âCan youâŚdescribe it more?â, Bucky asked. âI wanna see if I can remember anything.â
âUhâŚsure, okay. So we were both lying on the bed in the mating cell and kissing and touching, and then you kind of pulled me on top of you. And I was thinking, âWow, h eâs strong,â and I kind of liked that, and then you started doing that thing where you tilt your head back so I can scent you. And you were making these little noises, because you liked me running my fingers through your hair. And I was thinkinâ, if we bonded Iâd take such good care of you.â
Brock looked at him then tentatively, as he continued. âYou were staring up at me, and I couldnât look away. The way your eyes were dark was just so hot, like I could really see how much you wanted this. And after that everything just got real blurry and hazy, and it was just happening.â
Bucky thought about this for a moment. âI guess that doesnât sound so bad either,â he said. âI still donât remember though. Was that when we bonded?â
Brock shook his head. âNo, not that time.â
âWhen did that happen?â
âUh⌠I donât remember that too good,â Brock said hesitantly, rubbing his cheek with his knuckles in what was becoming a familiar gesture. âWe had a couple of other times where we were just having sex together before that, and it was nice. But we werenât bonding, and I think they wanted to speed it up because they wanted you back in the field. So they basically shot me up with a load of rut-inducing hormones and locked us up together. I think they probably gave you something too because it was like you were in heat, even though you donât have those.â
âAnd we bonded?â
âYeah, I donât know how long it was. A few days maybe? And then I woke up in the med bay.â
âWait, why were you-â Bucky broke off, part of the memory coming back to him. âOh. Right, I think I remember. You were dehydrated, so they had to take you out of there. You kept trying to give me food and water but you wouldnât have any yourself. You were like that when Zemo was in heat too, I had to make sure you had something.â
âSome Alphas will behave like that,â Alice said. âEspecially if they feel insecure about their mate leaving. It sounds like you might have been feeling that way, Brock?â
âYeah, of course I was. And when I woke up I was freaking out because Winter wasnât there.â
âDid they separate us?â, Bucky asked.
âNot exactly. Jack was with me in the medbay trying to calm me down, but he couldnât so Pierce gave me a talking to. Then they brought you in to see me, and you were there with me for a day or so while I recovered. After that we got to be together for a week while I learnt how to do all the Alpha Contact Time stuff with you, and then we were back in the field.â
âI have a question for Brock,â Zemo asked, âIf thatâs okay?â
Brock shrugged. âSure, go ahead.â
âWhy didnât they simply give you both hormones to start with, if they were trying to make you bond as quickly as possible?â
âI dunno. I think they wanted us to get used to each other. I think they were worried about Winter freaking out when he was all dosed up.âÂ
âAnd hurting you?â
âYeah, I guess so.â
âWhat are you thinking, James?â, Alice asked.
âJust⌠I donât like that I still don't remember, after hearing it,". Bucky said in frustration. "It feels wrong not remembering sexual stuff like that. Though there are some things Iâm pretty sure happened that I donât want to remember.â
âWhat do you mean?â, Brock asked quickly.
âBefore you⌠some people did things to me they shouldnât have. Not many. No one was supposed to mess with me like that. I was HYDRAâs weapon, not their whore. Thatâs what they always used to say when people got a little tooâŚyou know.â
âWho did that to you?â, Brock growled
Bucky shrugged. âTheyâre all dead now, so it doesnât matter. And like I said, I donât really remember, anyway.â
There was a pause, where Brock seemed to be struggling with something. Opening his mouth to speak and then closing it again.Â
âIs there something you want to say, Brock?â, Alice asked.
Brock nodded nervously. âYeah. Since weâre talking about this stuff. After we bondedâŚwhen we wereâŚtogether. You know, sex. That stuff. Was... was I raping you? The Baron made it seem like I wasâŚâ
âWhat?â, Zemo exclaimed, looking at Brock in confusion.
âYou said that to me, when we had that big fight before we bonded.â
Zemo swallowed, remembering the things heâd said that day.
âSo is this something that youâve been thinking about for a while, Brock?â, Alice asked.
âYeah. Not the whole time, but Iâve been thinking about it for sure.â
Bucky took a long, deep breath. âTechnically, yes. I couldnât have consented.â
âAre you saying all the time we⌠that you didnât want to?â
Bucky shook his head. âNo, Iâm saying back then I had no agency, so even if it seemed like I wanted it⌠I wasnât myself and I couldnât have made that decision. Itâs complicated, and itâs difficult dealing with the fact that it was forced on me, but I also enjoyed some of it. Does that make sense?â
âYeah, sounds complicated,â Brock agreed. âDunno know what to say except Iâm sorry. And I know it donât make what I did okay, even if you said you enjoyed it.â
âSome of it,â Bucky clarified. âThere were times there were other people there and we were being watched⌠that kind of thing felt⌠fucking awful.âÂ
"Wanna know if I can do anything to... I don't know,â Rumlow shrugged. âPut things right. Can't fix it but⌠you know,â
âMm,â Bucky managed, thinking about the words that Rumlow had said to him a few months ago when Bucky had stepped through the door to his apartment.Â
âWhat about every time Pierce had me fuck you in front of the technicians to âre-establish our bondâ, after months in the deep-freezeâŚâ
He was shaking, his body still cold to the bone. The scent of his mate mixed with the unpleasant taste of saline in his mouth.Â
âItâs malfunctioning.â
âHeâs- itâs not. Itâs fine, arenât you, Win?â
Winter glanced tentatively through the curtain of wet hair hanging over his face. He felt his mateâs warm fingers gently move it aside. He tried to lean into the touch, but was distracted by the men standing around them in lab coats and surgical masks.
"A-alpha?," he whispered. "Why are they watching us?"
"Don't look at them Winter, look at me. See, it's okay, I'm here. I'm here."
He turned to look at his mate, who was holding him by the hips, so close and tight.Â
âNo, I donât like it. I want to goâŚâ
âOkay, okayâŚweâre gonna go, I promise⌠ah fuck!â
Winter moved his hips forward, pulling on the knot inside him. He felt his mateâs pain lance through the bond, and he forced himself to keep still, gritting his teeth and trying not to look at the bright lights reflecting off the tiled floor, the technicians crowding around them as his breathing came short and sharpâŚ
âJames?â
Bucky became aware that Zemo was saying his name. He felt a warm hand rubbing his back, slowly up and down. Reminding him that he wasnât alone, but not imposing on him. Bucky kept his eyes on the colorful pattern of the rug and began to slow his breathing, inhaling slowly through his nose and out through his mouth.Â
âThatâs good,â Alice said calmly. âYouâre doing well, James. Just breathe. Weâre right here with you.â
He slowly began to feel like he was returning to his body, and felt himself relaxing into the feeling of Zemo stroking his back. He concentrated on their bond, how it washed over him.Â
âHere,â Alice said, offering him a glass of water. Bucky accepted it and took a sip. âHow are you feeling?â
Bucky nodded. âIâm okay. Itâs nothing I canât handle. I just feel tired now.â
âYou can rest, if you like,â Alice said. âIf your mates would like to talk some more?â
Zemo shook his head. âI think weâd like to finish for today. Weâre almost at time, as it is.â
âYes, alright,â Alice agreed. âIâll see you at the same time next week, then.â
*
âIâve been thinking,â Bucky said, when they were in the car on the way home. âToday was a lot, and I donât think Iâm ready to read the book right now.â
âThatâs fine, James,â Zemo said, glancing in the mirror to look back at him. âWhenever weâre all ready.â
âRight,â Brock said in agreement. He was sitting in the seat next to Bucky, fidgeting with his hands.
âItâs okay,â Bucky said. âI had people around me that knew what to do. And Iâm alright now. You donât have to worry about me.â
Brock bit his lip, his eyes still flickered over Bucky nervously, as if trying to assure himself that his mate really was okay. âIâm still gonna.â
Bucky sighed wearily, letting his head fall back against the seat. âI know.â
*
When they got home, Brock settled down on the front porch to smoke a cigarette. He felt wrung out and exhausted.Â
A few minutes later, the Baron came out and sat down next to him. âMay I have one?â, he asked.Â
Brock offered him the packet. âSure, go ahead.â
He watched as the Baron slid one out and took it between his fingers. Brock held out the lighter for him, summoning the flame with a click. Zemo inhaled a lungful of smoke with a sigh. âToday was difficult, wasnât it?â
âYeah, you can say that again,â Brock mumbled, scratching the scars on his cheek.
âAre we alright, you and I?â, the Baron asked, looking at him with those deep brown eyes that it was hard not to get lost in. âI feel like we never had a moment to talk without James.â
Brock looked away and up at the tree branches swaying in the breeze. âHm. I guess. Iâm still kind of mad you went through my stuff, but you said you wonât do it again soâŚâ he shrugged, looking back at his mate. âI guess weâre good.â
Zemo nodded, and Brock watched as he brought the cigarette to his lips.
Heâs always so calm , Brock thought. When Bucky had been panicking, heâd known exactly what to do. How to calm him down. Brock didnât know how to do that any more.
âI wishâŚâ
Zemo turned to look at him.
âWhat?â
Brock sighed, breathing smoke into the summer air. âYouâre so good at just getting him. In therapy you knew what to do, and I felt like I was frozen. I didnât wanna move in case I made it worse, or something.â
âThereâs still a lot about him I donât know,â Zemo admitted.
âYeah, but you know the important stuff.â
âBut so do you,â Zemo said. âI know heâs not Winter, but heâs not as different as you seem to think he is.â
âYeah, maybe,â Brock said. âI justâŚI want what you have together. I want to be a better mate to both of you.â
âYouâre not a bad mate, Brock.â
âYeah, but Iâm not a good one neither.â
Zemo shook his head and stubbed his cigarette out on the deck. âDonât be so hard on yourself. This transition has been difficult for all of us. As I said, today was particularly difficult.â
He stood up. âNow, if youâll excuse me, Iâm going to take a very long bath with a glass of Scotch whiskey.â
Brock reached up and took his hand. âWait?â
Zemo looked back at him, a small smirk of amusement curling at the corner of his mouth. âWhat?â
âStay.â
Zemo was silent for a moment, before he sat back down. âOkay,â he said, squeezing Brockâs hand. âIâll stay.â
Brock looked down to hide his smile and kept holding the Baronâs hand.
*
It was late in the afternoon now, and Bucky was jogging along the street. Heâd needed a break from everything, and a run was the best way to blow off steam. Too bad the day was still so hot.
He stopped in the shade of the trees for a moment, and rested with his back against one to cool down. He was too hot in long sleeves, but he still didnât really want his identity known to the neighbors. He was sure that they were already intrigued enough that there were three men living together. Although, he was pretty sure that Zemo had been talking to the neighbors, and heâd probably been open about the fact that they were mates.
I guess we can always move if they decide to chase us out of town, Bucky thought. Still, he wasnât exactly comfortable, like Zemo and even Brock seemed to be. Liking men was always something heâd had to hide, and after so long it was hard to be âoutâ, as they called it now. And he wasnât exactly a very sociable person anymore.Â
Bucky compromised with the heat of the day by rolling up his sleeves and took a swig from his water bottle. Then he pulled out his phone and texted Brock.
Thank you for today. I know it was hard x
He pocketed it in his shorts and kept running, taking a left down a side street. There was a grassy area on one side that seemed to be one of those places where people pulled over and dumped their trash, which was a shame because it would otherwise be a nice neighbourhood. He wouldnât normally have taken much notice, but as he was passing he heard an unexpected sound.
âMeep?â
Bucky turned around, but there was nothing there. The noise had sounded like an animal, but perhaps heâd been wrong. After a few seconds, just as he was getting ready to continue his run, he heard it again. It was definitely a small animal. His heart sank when his eyes fixed on a battered cardboard box on the side of the road.Â
He went over and squatted down next to it before opening it up. Inside there was a single small, grey kitten. It looked up at him with big blue eyes and made that little crying sound again.Â
âYou poor thing,â he exclaimed, reaching into the box. âSomeone left you here, huh?â
The kitten sniffed at his hand, but didnât seem particularly afraid of him so he cupped his metal hand and poured in some water from his bottle to make a makeshift bowl. The kitten lapped it up eagerly, clearly very thirsty. When it was done Bucky refilled it until he was out of water. Then he picked up the box, taking the shaded path through the woods that would lead him back to the house.Â
*
Chapter Text
*
When he got home, Brock and Zemo seemed to be having make-up sex on the couch. They had not bothered to close the door to the living room, and Bucky could see Brock leaning over their Omega, Zemoâs head hanging off the couch.
âJames? Whatâs in that dirty box youâve brought into the house?â, Zemo called after him as Bucky walked past the door.
âDonât worry about it,â Bucky called over his shoulder, trusting Brock to distract Zemo. He went straight to the downstairs bathroom. He set the box in the bath, stood there for a second, then pulled out his phone and typed into Google, âHow to take care of a stray kitten.â
While he scrolled through the results with one hand, he watched as the kitten shakily climbed out of the box and began exploring the inside of the tub. From the pictures he was looking at, the little grey kitten he had looked to be about five or six weeks old. He figured the first thing to do would probably be to give it a bath. He was gonna need some supplies.
âIâll be right back,â Bucky said to the kitten, before hurrying out of the room.
âJames?â
Bucky paused outside the door to the living room.
âUh-huh?â
âCan you get me a coca cola?â
âIâm a little busy right now, Zemo,â Bucky called back, rummaging through the boxes in the hall. He was pretty sure there had been a box of pet supplies in the basement, and sure enough he found some old toys, a flea comb and a bowl. No food, but they could get that easily from the store.Â
âPlease?â, Zemo called again, his voice husky.
âGet it yourself!â, Bucky called back, before realizing that that would mean that Zemo might interfere with what he was doing. âActually, Iâll get it. You stay right there.â
He went into the kitchen and grabbed a coke and the container of dish soap, before coming back over to Zemo.Â
âOh, is he knotting you?â, Bucky asked, when Zemo remained lying on his front with Brock on top of him.Â
âYeah,â Brock grinned like a dope, âFeels real good.â
âWhy did you bring the dish soap?â, Zemo asked, as he took the coke from Bucky and opened it, somehow managing to gracefully take a sip despite his precarious position.
Trust Zemo to notice that, Bucky thought. Well, since neither of his mates were in a position to do anything, perhaps now would be a good time to tell them. âI found a kitten by the side of the road and Iâm going to take care of it,â he said quickly. âThe soap is so I can give it a bath.â
As if on cue, Bucky heard the kitten crying out for him.Â
âComing!â he called, grabbing the box of pet supplies from the hallway and hurrying back to the bathroom before his mates could respond.
According to the guide heâd been reading, fleas were very dangerous to kittens, so it was important to get them off first. Plus, Zemo definitely wouldnât be happy about there being fleas in the house.Â
âCome on,â he murmured, picking up the little ball of fluff that was trying to climb up the side of the tub. The kitten squeaked in protest and tried to wiggle out of his grip, but Bucky held on to it gently but firmly. He dampened the fur before pouring some dish soap onto the kittenâs neck, then held its tiny body under the running water, careful not to get its head wet.Â
âMreoooow!â
âI know,â Bucky agreed. âItâs not very nice, but I gotta get you cleaned up.â
The soapy water that washed off the kitten and swirled down the drain was brownish-grey, and soon he realized that he wasnât holding a grey kitten, but a little white one. When the water eventually started to run clean, he grabbed a hand towel and dried the kitten off before combing through its fluff to make sure that all the fleas were gone. Then he wrapped the kitten up like a burrito and cleaned its head and washed out its grimy eyes with a sponge.Â
Once it was relatively dry, he took it up to their bedroom and it curled up to sleep on the pillow, apparently exhausted. He didnât blame it.Â
He turned around when he heard his matesâ footsteps on the stairs.
âItâs cute,â Brock said, leaning over Buckyâs shoulders to take a look. âWhatâre you gonna call it?â
âI dunno,â Bucky shrugged. âI donât even know what sex it is. I guess I should probably take it to a veterinarian or something.â
Brock scooped it up and turned it upside down. The kitten squeaked in protest, its little paws waving as it tried to right itself.
âItâs a girl,â he said, putting the kitten back on the bed where she immediately curled up and wrapped her tail around herself. âSo youâll have to get her fixed unless you want a bunch of kittens a few months from now.â
âHow do you know that?â
âI can tell. A lot of ferals used to hang around the junkyard,â Brock said. âThey didnât like me or the dogs much, but Pops said they were good at keeping the rat numbers down.â
âWell first we should get her some food,â Zemo said. âSheâs probably hungry.â
âYou donât mind her being on our bed?â Bucky asked.
âNo. Why would you think that?â
Bucky shrugged. âYouâre veryâŚâ
Zemo tilted his head to one side, âFussy?â
Bucky smiled and scratched his head awkwardly. âWell, kinda, yeah.â
âYouâve given her a bath, so I donât mind,â Zemo said, sitting down on the bed and leaning over to gently stroke the small, dozing creature. âBesides, I think sheâs rather sweet.â
*
A week later, the kitten had really settled in and Bucky was also feeling a lot better. His personal therapy was going well, theyâd made more progress on clearing out the basement and he had been spending a lot of time at the beach nearby, relaxing in the summer sun. When theyâd come home, the kitten would follow Bucky around meowing for attention until he picked her up and let her perch on his shoulder. Sheâd happily remain there while he chopped veggies or did other things around the house. Heâd decided to name her Alpine, on Zemoâs suggestion, because she liked to be up high and with her shiny white fur would surely camouflage well in the Alps. Brock had spent an afternoon sulking because heâd wanted to name her Snowball.Â
Bucky was currently sitting on the couch next to Brock, with Alpine curled up in his lap. She'd decided that Bucky was her person now, and he wasn't complaining about that. He liked having her to take care of, and stroking her snow white fur made him feel calm. And she was fun to play with. Earlier he'd been dragging a string across the ground for her to catch, and even Brock had had a turn, managing to get her to leap up high into the air.
"Dogs are better 'cos you can train 'em," he'd said. "But I don't mind cats. Especially if you're the one looking after her."
She didn't seem bothered by the noise of the action movie they were watching (it had been Brock's turn to choose), and was curled up in a ball on his lap. Brock had placed his bare feet up on the coffee table (Zemo didn't allow shoes in the house, a Sokovian custom), and was laughing at the screen and pointing out how unrealistic most of the action sequences were.Â
As if I don't know that, Bucky thought. But he thought it was kind of cute that Bones was having such a good time. He didn't really care about the movie, but it was nice to spend time doing something low-stakes for once. Plus, his mateâs feet were kind of distracting - in a good way. Bucky found himself gazing at their curves, their gentle pink tinge, the way Brock would curl his toes a little when he laughed. He was barely paying attention to the film, but he couldnât make himself care too much.Â
Zemo had declined their invitation to watch the movie with them. The Omega still seemed to be spending a lot of time on his own and could usually be found reading in his nest, or translating the notebook. Bucky didn't think there was anything wrong, but it was a little unlike him to be so withdrawn.Â
As if his thoughts had summoned him, Bucky could feel through the bond that Zemo was close by, and in fact had just come downstairs and quietly entered the room.Â
Zemo came and sat down in one of their armchairs. âSo, I was thinkingâŚâ, he said.
âHang on,â Brock interrupted, grabbing the remote to pause the movie.
âAs I was saying,â Zemo continued, when he had their attention. âI was thinking that maybe we should plan a date.â
Brock snorted. âYeah, because the last one worked out so well.â
âHe doesnât mean that,â Bucky said apologetically to Zemo.
âYeah, I do,â Brock mumbled.
âThatâs exactly why I wanted to discuss it with you,â Zemo said. âI know that I can get a little caught up in making plans sometimes. Iâd like to do better this time. .â
"Can't we just get a pizza and watch a movie or something?", Bones suggested.Â
Zemo shook his head. "We do that on a regular basis. And besides, it's not helping us get to know one another, now is it?"
"I don't get all this 'getting to know you' stuff," the Alpha grumbled. "You're my mates. I don't have to know every little detail about your whole life."
"Couldn't hurt to try," Bucky said. "And I'd like to do some new things with you both.â
"I was actually going to suggest that you and Brock have a date," Zemo admitted. "We can do something together another time."
Bucky raised his eyebrows at him. "Sounds like you've already got a plan.â
Zemo tilted his head to one side. âNot a plan, exactly. More of a suggestion. As you know, Iâve started translating the Project Crossbones book. I wonât go into detail, but they made mention of that ridiculous simulacrum of a first date Brock told us about in therapy last week. I was thinking that a chance to recreate it might be beneficial for your relationship.â
"UhhhâŚI'm not sure that doing it over would be a good idea, Baron," Brock said, looking at Bucky quickly. "Don't think he'd like that."
"Actually, I think I would," Bucky said. "I kind of like the idea of doing it right. I just can't believe you came up with that, Zemo."
Zemo shrugged. "I had a feeling that you might be interested, so I thought I'd suggest it.â
Bucky turned to Brock. "What do you think?"
"Itâs okay with me," Brock replied. "Whatever you want."
"You're not uncomfortable with the idea?"
"Nah. It's kind of weird, but I don't mind. I guess weâll just see how it goes."
*
The very next night, Zemo cooked a dinner of home-made macaroni & cheese. It was a rich creamy sauce he'd made from scratch, instead of the boxed variety Brock had complained about having to eat all those years ago. Alpine kept meowing and trying to climb up his leg as he was stirring the sauce, but she eventually calmed down after he bribed her with a little bowl of kitten-safe milk replacement.Â
He set the pasta on the table, along with some fresh garlic bread, hand-chosen wine from his own collection, and candles. Then he scooped up Alpine and took her with him to his nest, where he planned to spend the evening reading a book.
When Brock came into the kitchen at exactly 6.00pm as per Zemo's instructions, he saw that James had already taken a seat at the table. James turned to face him with a smile. Brock took a seat across from him and noticed that Bucky had already served them both. The food looked good.Â
âWould you like some wine, Brock?â Bucky offered to pour some into his mateâs glass.
âSure. Uhh. I think.â
âYou can have a beer if you want,â Bucky teased.
âNah, letâs do this proper. Iâll have some wine.â Once his glass was filled, he offered it to Bucky, and they clinked glasses politely.
âBit awkward, ainât it?â
âItâs just me and you,â Bucky shrugged. âI donât think itâs awkward.â
Brock took a forkful of the gooey mac 'n' cheese. He closed his eyes and hummed in appreciation. "Damn, how is he such a good cook? This is way better than what we had on our date."
Bucky smiled. "I think I do remember eating this with you, back in the day,â he said. âI just didnât know thatâs what that memory was. It did kind of stand out since I was allowed to talk, ask you questions.â
âIs it...good? Remembering that?â
He nodded. âYeah, itâs a good memory. I wouldnât want to do this if it wasnât,â Bucky said, looking down at his plate. âItâs kind of funny how they gave us nothing to work with. Like, they tried to make a date out of us eating boxed macaroni in a lab. But because it was you, I didnât care.â
âThe pasta they gave us sucked,â Brock said. âAll sloppy.â
âI remember it being the best thing Iâd tasted in months,â Bucky said wryly.
Brock didnât know what to say to that so he took another mouthful of pasta. "SoâŚhow's this supposed to go?", he asked, smiling awkwardly. âHavenât been on many dates.â
âReally?â Bucky said, pouring himself another glass of wine. âI thought you saw other guys?â
âYeah, but we didnât go out or nothinâ. Just hook ups. Wouldnât have been safe to get involved, and I didnât wanna do that anyway.â
Bucky nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of his wine. âSo, you ever have any good dates?â
Brock frowned, chewing a mouthful of pasta. âUh, yeah. Lemme think. Oh yeah, there was this guy back when I was a teenager.â
âWhat was his name?â
âElliot, uh, something-or-other. Him and his dad were just in town for a few days.â
âWhat did you guys do?â
âI didnât even know if it was a date at the start. We just kind of hung around the arcade and then went and got ice cream. Then we went up onto the hill in the park and he kissed me. Which was kind of crazy, because I hadnât told him I thought he was cute, but I guess he could just tell. And thenâŚâÂ
âAnd then?â
âIt was the first time I ever⌠the only time I ever purred, I think. Properly. I thought heâd be scared and leave once he realized I was an Alpha, but he didnât. He stayed. He liked it.â
âWhat happened next?â
âStayed out all night. Watched the sun come up over the city. Then he had to go back to Colorado.â
âSounds nice,â Bucky said. âI used to go on a lot of dates like that.â
Brock stared at him. âWith guys?â
Bucky shook his head. âNo, no way. I mean, I knew there were places you could go, clubs and things like that where you could be open, but I never did.â
âWhy not?â
Bucky shrugged. âI liked going on dates with girls. Maybe it would have been different if Iâd met the right guy, but I was pretty hung up on Steve. Not that I actually realized thatâs what it was at the time.â
âDid you always know you liked both?â
Bucky thought about this for a moment before saying. âYeah, I think so. When I was a kid, there was this boy next door called Bobby and I got this idea I was gonna marry him when I grew up. And I told ma and she said I wasnât, because boys canât do that. So I said, âWell, then Iâm gonna marry Linda,â which made her laugh.â
âWho?â
âOh, his sister,â Bucky said, pausing for a moment to think. âThey were twins.â
Brock shook his head in amazement. âItâs crazy how you can remember stuff like that.â
Bucky nodded. âBits and pieces. Iâm just happy I started getting the good ones back, as well as the really bad ones.â
âThatâs a good one?â
âWell, compared to the rest of them,â Bucky said, breaking off a piece of the garlic bread and popping it into his mouth. âWhat about you? Did you always know?â
Brock took a swig of his wine. âNot sure. I hated kids teasing me about having crushes on girls and stuff like that. I thought it was stupid. And I used to watch WWEâŚâ
âWhatâs that?â
âWrestling show. I was really into it. I used to cut out pictures of my favorite wrestlers from magazines and stick them on my bedroom wall.â
âThatâs pretty brave.â
âNot really, no one in my family noticed. I donât think they even knew until my brother saw me with a guy.â
âYou told us about that in therapy.â
âOh yeah, I guess I did. I donât really wanna talk about that stuff right now though. Just want to have a nice time with you.â
âYeah, of course. I get it.â
âSpeaking of dating,â Brock said. âI wanna know what youâd wanna do another time.â
âOn another date?â
âYeah, exactly.â
Bucky thought about this for a moment before saying. âI like having dinner here, or at a quiet restaurant. Maybe going for a hike or something. Spending time at the beach with a picnic sounds pretty good too.â
âSo you wouldnât wanna go to a club or something?â
âWhat, like a gay club?â
Brock nodded.
Bucky frowned. âSometimes itâs hard for me to be around a lot of people and stay relaxed, and thereâd be a lot of lights and noise. But then other times itâs fine. SoâŚmaybe?â
âDonât wanna do nothing that makes you uncomfortable.â
âI think a bar would be better,â Bucky said after a moment. âBut it wouldnât be my first choice. I bet Zemo would love that, but you guys canât really go somewhere without me because of the terms of his parole.â
âOh right. Yeah, sometimes I forget about that because we always go out together.â
Bucky nodded. âYeah, but it sucks if you guys want to go somewhere alone.â He sighed and said. âThereâs a lot we can do though, so I just want to think about that for now. You know, I wouldnât like a club but I would like dancing.â
âWhat, like slow dancing?â
âYeah, exactly. I donât think weâve ever danced together.â
âDunno how to do fancy â40s dancing or nothing,â
âI could teach you.â
âOh yeah?â
âSure! Iâve got records. Itâll be swell.â
Brock smiled. When he talked like that it reminded him of when Winter was getting cheeky. But, if that wasnât Winter, if that was BuckyâŚthen they really were the same person. He really was starting to see that more and more.
When theyâd finished the pasta and brought out the lemon tart that Zemo had made for dessert, Bucky said, âCan I ask you something?â
Brock nodded. âSure, go ahead.â
âThis is going to sound weird, but were you actually attracted to me when we went on our date?â
Brock thought about this for a moment before he said, âYeah, big time. I was kind of scared of you too, but there was definitely something there. You were older than me then. But I just kept looking at your eyes, your mouth, then getting nervous. Thinkinâ about mating with you, gettinâ bonded. I wanted it.â
âI donât know if Iâm remembering this right, but I think I told you that you were attractive,â Bucky said.Â
âMaybe,â Brock replied. âYou kept trying to speak to me in Russian, and I had no idea what you were saying half the time.â
âItâs not my fault you donât speak it very well ,â Bucky replied in Russian.
âHey, I understood that ,â Brock said, rolling his eyes at him.Â
Bucky smiled mischievously. âSo if I say; youâre my strong, sexy Alpha and I want you to fuck meâŚ?â
Brockâs eyes darkened as he looked into his mateâs blue eyes, darkened by wine and arousal, and when he spoke his voice came out husky. âRight now?â
Bucky smirked and took another sip of his wine. âMaybe after dinner, and a dance.â
âYouâre worse than the Baron,â Brock grumbled. âThe two of you are always teasinâ me.â
âBut you like it,â Bucky said, pointing his fork at him.
Brock grinned. âYouâre getting cocky.â
He felt Buckyâs leg lightly brush his under the table, and Brock couldnât take his eyes away as he watched as his plush lips curved up into a playful smirk. âYou like that too.â
âYou trying to charm me?â
âCharm you? Whatever gave you that idea.â
âEverything youâre doing right now.â
Bucky got up and went over to the record player. He selected a record, slid it carefully out of its sleeve and set it on the turntable. As it began to spin, a slow and gentle melody filled the room . âCome on,â Bucky said, holding out his hand. âDance with me.â
âFine, if thatâs what you want,â Brock said, draining the rest of his wine and getting to his feet. âBut I canât dance.â
âLike I said,â Bucky said, placing his left hand, his metal one, in Brockâs while his other, the flesh one, gently held his waist, âIâll teach you.â
Brock sighed, and let his mate guide him. It was hard to concentrate with their bodies pressed together like this. He was keenly aware of all the places they touched, hand to hand, fingers interlaced, his other hand on Buckyâs shoulder while his mate held his waist. The way their bodies came together, his chest pressed against Buckyâs, feeling firm muscle beneath his white t-shirt. And the way Bucky held him close, moving his hips slowly, not teasing, more like stoking the desire building between them.
Brock leaned into his mateâs neck and inhaled the green, verdant scent. When Brock pulled back from his mateâs neck to look into his eyes, the pupils were dark pools drawing him in.Â
âHey, youâre not half bad,â Bucky whispered. Brock felt the breath of his words against his lips and leaned in to kiss him. Bucky seemed surprised, but returned the kiss eagerly, his mouth hot and eager.Â
âYou wanna go upstairs?â
*
When they opened the door to the bedroom they saw that Zemo had made a little nest for them with comfy pillows, and there were even candles on the bedside table.
âHow do you wanna do this?â, Brock asked, when theyâd been making out for a while on the bed. Bucky was panting, his lips flushed red from the kisses. With the tip of one finger he traced the outline of the bite Brock had sucked into his neck suggestively.Â
âI want you to fuck me,â he said, âBut first I want your mouth on me, I want you to open me up.â
Rumlow grinned and moved so that he was kneeling between his mateâs legs. Bucky had already removed his pants, but he was still wearing a pair of black briefs that outlined his half hard cock. Brock scented him, rubbing his face against him and let out an involuntary growl when he realized that the fabric was damp with slick.Â
âYou want me, huh?â, he panted, pulling them down.
Bucky lifted his hips to help him, reclining with his flesh arm behind his head. âYou know I do.â
Rumlow hummed appreciatively as he bent to lick the slick that had spilled over Buckyâs cock. His mate let out a moan, the sound sending heat to Brockâs cock which was still confined inside his boxers. Sometimes he liked to ignore it, and focus on his partnerâs pleasure. That delayed gratification made it feel even better when he was eventually allowed to- no, when he eventually came. He didnât have to ask anyoneâs permission. Not anymore.Â
Forget about that now, he told himself. Youâre with Bucky; your mate, and he wants you. So what are you waiting for?
He moved down to lick straight from the source of his mateâs slick, the flat of his tongue lapping at the sensitive muscles around his hole. He was rewarded by Buckyâs metal fingerâs pressed gently to the back of his head, tangling his hair and pulling slightly in need. Brock must have tensed slightly because Bucky instantly released him.
âIs that okay?â, his mate panted.
âYeah,â Brock growled, grabbing Buckyâs hand and guiding him back. âDonât stop.â
Bucky nodded, his grip gentle at first but after a minute or two he was pulling and crying out as Brock began to work him open. Bucky was so slick and wet for him, and he tasted so good that Brock didnât ever want this to stop. Every movement of his lips and tongue plunging into him brought a gasp or a groan from Buckyâs lips. Zemo probably would have teased him, drawn it out just that little bit longer to wind their mate up, but Brock was far too enthusiastic to hold back from the hot, sweet slick taste of him.
Bucky was clearly intoxicated by the pleasure Brock was giving him, judging from the needy moans and the way his achingly hard cock was dripping precum onto his stomach. He fisted Rumlowâs hair in his need for him, but the moment Brock pulled back he gently released him.Â
âYou ready for more?â, Brock asked, licking the slick coating his lips.Â
Bucky nodded, eyes dark and shining as he wrapped a hand around his leaking cock. âYes.â
Brock found that his fingers pressed in easily, but when he slipped in a third and curled them Bucky cried out, his hand gripping his cock. âOh fuck yes, please, do it again!â
Rumlow did so, ever so slowly, and kept going until Bucky was whining and begging for more. Only then did he ease his fingers out and press the head of his cock into him. Bucky pulled Brock down to kiss him eagerly, taking Rumlowâs breath away. He moaned against Buckyâs lips as he pushed into him, and felt how tight and hot he was.Â
âIs this how?â, Bucky panted as they began to build up a pace.
âWhat?â
âWhen we bonded.â
Brock paused, holding himself still on top of him. âFuck, I donât know. I think you were on top.â
Bucky nodded. âOkay, can we do it like that then?â
âYeah sure,â Brock said, pulling out and rolling onto his back. âYou want it to be like it was, huh?â
âYeah, is that weird?â
Brock shook his head as his mate straddled him. âI donât think itâs weird. We can do whatever you want.â
Bucky gasped as he sank down slowly onto Brockâs cock. He stayed like that for a moment with his eyes closed, and Brock gripped his mateâs hips to hold him steady while his body adjusted to the feeling of being filled. âI like you being on top,â he said.Â
Bucky opened his eyes, âOh yeah?â
Brock nodded, returning his mateâs gaze. âYeah, feels good.â
Bucky began to rock against him slowly, and Rumlow brought his hips up to meet him. âDid I touch myself, when we were doing this?â, he panted.
âSometimes, yeah. Other times I did it for you. You liked me touching you.â
âI still like it now,â Bucky said with a smirk.
âSâthat you asking me to touch your cock?â
âMaybe.â
When Brock did so, Bucky let his head fall back with a moan, exposing the full length of his neck in a way that was so like Winter it left Rumlow breathless.Â
"Yes," he groaned, fucking himself on Rumlowâs cock. "Oh please, please, Iâm yoursâŚ"
Bucky felt warmth swirling in his chest as he looked down into Brockâs deep brown eyes blown wide with lust. His heart was lifting, filling with warmth as he sank down onto his Alphaâs cock again and again.Â
âOh fuck, pleaseâŚâ he moaned, leaning down to press his lips against Brockâs, each thrust of his hips pressing his hard length into the tight fist of Rumlowâs hand.
Was it like this before? Bucky thought, as his pleasure built and his strokes became ever more filled with need and his Alpha growled and dug his paws into the flesh of his hips. Did I just forget?
The Alpha growled, grasping Buckyâs hips roughly and urging him on, thrusting up into him until Bucky was completely full. Bucky closed his eyes as he felt himself tighten around the Alphaâs cock helplessly, thrusting forward to get more of the sensation. When he opened them again, Brock was looking up at him with an expression of such need Bucky felt like his heart was going to break.
âYes, fuck yes,â Brock gasped, reaching up to capture Buckyâs lips as he thrust his hips up to meet every one of Buckyâs strokes. âI want to feel youâŚâ
Bucky felt more than heard Brockâs thoughts in his mind, suddenly coherent;
âŚ.feels soâŚwant toâŚfucking perfectâŚheâsâŚ
I canât believe it, Bucky thought, holding his mate close. After all this time, I can actually hear him! I donât know where I end and he begins itâsâŚ
âŚso goodâŚheâs everythingâŚgonnaâŚ
âYes, please, pleaseâŚâ
Each word from Buckyâs lips was like a prayer being chanted, full of such naked, unrestrained wanting that Brock felt like he'd been split open. And he could feel his mate, really feel him as he kissed him desperately and held him safe and tight in his arms as he claimed him; how every stroke made his body arch with pleasure, a cry falling from his lipsâŚ
"I love you, I love you, pleaseâŚ"
Brock looked up at his face, and his mate was looking down at him with such longing that it left him speechless. He was so open, his expression so like Winter that for a moment he felt he really was looking back at him.Â
But of course he was, they were the same person! Brock knew that⌠but actually seeing it right in front of his eyes brought the truth home to him. This was his mate, had always been his mate. And Bucky- Winter was cupping his cheek in one hand, his big blue eyes holding him in place, keeping him with him even as he was falling apart.Â
"I see you," he gasped. "I see you,"
Brock kissed him desperately with a moan of longing, feeling himself dissolving into his mate, his mate all around him. This was everything, he never wanted it to end, he loved him so much.Â
âFuck, Iâm gonna come!â, Bucky moaned as the bond lit up with pleasure and he felt Brock coming inside him, biting down on his neck as he did so and pulling him with him over the edge. He was still coming as he felt his Alpha beginning to knot him, and they both lay in each otherâs arms, breathing heavily, their bodies tied together.
Brock felt his mate's arms around him, keeping him steady by reminding him that this was real and not something he'd imagined in a dream. Brock sighed as his knot released, staying inside him for a minute before carefully pulling out.Â
âThatâs what it should have been like,â Rumlow murmured, when they lay together after, slowly falling asleep.
"Hmm?", Bucky replied sleepily.
"When we bonded. Should have been like that."
Bucky brought one of Brockâs hands to his lips and kissed the spot just over the scent gland on his wrist, where the pulse beat steadily beneath the surface.Â
I love you , Bucky thought again, though he didn't say it. It was a lot harder, now that they werenât caught up in the heat of passion. I hope he knows that, even if he can't believe it. I don't want either of us to be alone, ever again.
"It should have been like that," Bucky said, echoing his mate's words. "But at least weâre together now."
"Still can't believe it," Rumlow murmured, stroking his stomach in a way that felt soothing for Bucky. "Sometimes it feels like a dream."
"You're not dreaming," Bucky said with a yawn. âYou're wide awake."
"Not for much longer," Brock murmured.
He tensed slightly when he heard the door open, but Bucky remained where he was, feeling Zemo's presence.
Their other mate stuck his head around the door. He was wearing a dressing down and was evidently dressed for bed. âHow are you both?â
Bucky grinned sleepily at him. âGood. Very good. Thanks for dinner and the nest.â
"How d'ya make this thing so comfy Baron?", Brock mumbled sleepily.
"Omega secrets."Â Zemo said with a wink climbing in beside them. Rumlow rolled his eyes and pulled the Baron in close to nip his shoulder before cuddling up close to sandwich the Sokovian between himself and a sleepy Bucky. Brock huffed and the exhale of air made a rumbling sound in his chest. Bucky shivered slightly as he felt a warm, vibrating feeling in the bond that seemed to run over his skin.
âAre youâŚpurring?â, Bucky asked in disbelief. It felt just like when Zemo was purring.
âI dunno,â the Alpha huffed again. âMaybe.â
âBut you donât do that.â
âI do. JustâŚnot for a long time.â
âIt sounds different,â Zemo commented.
Brock looked alarmed, his face shockingly vulnerable and the rumbling purr stopped.
âNo, itâs good, I promise!â Zemo said. âIt sounds lovely.â
âI like it too,â Bucky said, closing his eyes. âIt feels amazing in the bond. Makes me feel really close to you.â
The Alpha buried his face against Buckyâs neck, as if trying to hide from him. Then he said, âFeel close to you too. JustâŚâ
âWhat?â
âLast time I did this, my boyfriend put a cigarette out on my arm.â
âDonny?â, Zemo asked.
âYeah,â Brock growled. âFucking Donny.â
Bucky sighed, stroking his mateâs back. âIâm sorry that happened to you.â
Brock shrugged. âYeah, me too. Fucker ruined my life.â
They were silent for a moment, and Bucky thought that was it, but then he felt that warm, chuffing sound rumbling from his Alphaâs chest.
âWhy now?â, Bucky asked. âI mean, weâve been together a long time.â
Brock turned his head to look at Zemo. âNot like this.â
Zemo smiled back at him. âNo, not like this.â
*
The next morning, Bucky woke up slowly, stretching his body and rolling onto his side with a sigh. Brock had left at some point for his own bed, and he found himself nuzzling against Zemo, who was still asleep on his back next to him. His mate gave a sleepy purr of acknowledgement and tilted his head back so that Bucky had access to his neck. He licked at Zemo's neck, tasting his mate's sweet, familiar scent.Â
"I'm half asleep, moj ljubavi ," Zemo murmured, followed by a string of unintelligible Sokovian.Â
Bucky whined slightly, wanting his mate. His body felt hot and restless. The covers had somehow become wrapped around him and he tugged them off himself irritably. Once he was free of them, he buried his head in Zemo's shoulder, breathing in his scent and feeling the bond humming between them.
This seemed to wake his mate up, and Zemo huffed at him sleepily. "What do you want, James?"
Bucky wantedâŚhe wasn't sure what, but something. He almost felt like he needed Zemo to tell him what it was. He cuddled up to him and wrapped a leg over Zemo's, feeling his mate's thigh between his legs. He could feel his mate's arousal through the bond and it felt good to press against him like this, rocking his hips slightly as he began to get hard.Â
"Are you slick, James?", Zemo asked in surprise, turning to look at him, his brown eyes dark with lust.
Bucky nodded, just as surprised as Zemo. He hadn't felt this for a long time.Â
Zemo stroked his hair, hand coming down to his cheek. "You feel hotâŚdo you think this could be a heat?"
Bucky frowned. He wasn't sure if he'd had one before. He must have with Brock, but he didn't remember.Â
Zemo leaned in and Bucky tilted his head back instinctively, allowing the Omega access to his neck. "Hmm, yes, I can smell heat-scent on your skin," Zemo purred. "You smell delicious, James."
Bucky moaned at the praise. He wasn't sure why this was happening, but he was a Beta bonded to two mates, one of whom was an Alpha, so perhaps this was what his body was supposed to do. Maybe now that he was more relaxed about being around Brock, his body felt able to let it happen.
He let Zemo push him back onto the bed, and as the other Omega straddled his hips he pressed his hard cock up for attention.Â
"Stay," Zemo commanded, moving down so that he was kneeling between Bucky's legs. Bucky moaned as Zemo circled a finger around his hole and then pressed in. It was easy for him to do so, and Bucky hadn't realized until then just how slick he was. He gasped, feeling his cock twitch, completely ignored and leaking precum.Â
"Do you like this, James?", Zemo asked. "Do you like what I'm doing to you?"Â
Bucky nodded, a little whine of need escaping his throat as Zemo pressed another in. "You're so ready, aren't you? I can tell," Zemo said, sliding in a third. Bucky felt the stretch this time and the tightness felt good and full. This was just what he needed.Â
Zemo seemed excited and aroused, but his eyes remained focused. Bucky gasped, moaning loudly in protest when Zemo removed his slick fingers. But then Zemo wrapped them around his cock and all thoughts seemed to disappear. There was only the pleasurable sensation of his mate stroking him, hand wet with Bucky's own slick, and he gasped as he felt more of it pouring out of him. He was almost coming already, his cock hard and ready in Zemo's hand. As his mate increased his pace, faster and faster he felt it wash over him and he cried out as he came hard over his mate's hand and his stomach.Â
"Good boy," Zemo purred, lining his cock up and pressing in slowly. Bucky gasped as he was filled up by the Omega's cock. Zemo was thick, and even as slick as Bucky was, he wasn't used to being fucked like this. Zemo leaned down to kiss him and Bucky responded eagerly, wrapping his legs around his mate's waist to let him sink even deeper into him.Â
He gasped, arching his back as Zemo wrapped a hand around his cock which was already beginning to get hard again. His mate stroked him from base to tip, and he felt pleasure sparking up his spine with every stroke. He was so hard and so full at the same time, he almost couldnât stand how badly he needed his mate, who he felt was holding him together and taking him apart at the same time.Â
Buckyâs breathing was coming in short, sharp pants, in time with Zemoâs thrusts. His matewasnât gentle, his every touch filled with need and a fierce determination that Bucky didnât know what to make of. It was like Zemo was trying to make him come over and over, and Bucky wasnât going to complain about that. He wanted to take whatever his mate was giving him, and he definitely felt an urgency, an almost instinctive need to submit to the other Omega that he didnât understand but had no choice but to obey.Â
Fuck, he felt like there was pleasure sparking up his spine with every stroke, and the heat in his cock, god he was so hard, he wanted- no, needed his mate so badly. âFuck, please...â
Zemoâs head whipped around when the door opened and Brock poked his head around the door.Â
âHey, are you guysâŚâ
âYes, obviously,â Zemo growled at the intruding Alpha.
âOh fuck, I want him,â Bucky panted. âI want the Alpha right now. I want him inside me.â
Brock stared back at him in disbelief, âIs he okay?â
âHeâs having a pseudo heat,â Zemo sighed. âItâs making him quite demanding.â
Brock pulled his t-shirt over his head quickly and began unfastening his pants.
Zemo raised his eyebrows at him. âJust what do you think youâre doing?â
The Alpha shrugged. âYou said heâs in heat, soâŚâ
âNo!â Zemo snapped. âThere has to be an order, protocol. Do you not understand?â
âOkay, okay. Iâll go if itâs stressing you out so much, Baron.â
âWait,â Zemo said. âStay. But justâŚsit over on the chair for a moment.â
Brock frowned. âSo you want me to watch?â
âYes,â Zemo said. âAnd then you fuck me, and then James.â
âUhh okay, but isnât he the one in heat?â
Zemo ran his hand through Jamesâs hair and pulled slightly. Bucky bared his neck submissively, his mouth open and wanting, closing his lips around Zemoâs fingers when he pushed them in.
âHeâs fine,â Zemo said. âI can feel through the bond that it doesnât hurt him. Heâs a Beta so itâs not painful. It just makes him needy.â
In response, Bucky moaned and sucked on his fingers obediently. When he withdrew them, Bucky lay there panting, looking up at his mate.
âZemo,â he moaned, when his Omega rocked his hips forward slowly,Â
âHmm?â
"I want the Alpha.â
âNo,â Zemo growled, pressing his arm down. âYou have to wait.â
âWhy?â, Bucky whined. âI want him now.â
Zemo pulled out, making him gasp before thrusting back in again.
"You're mine, James," Zemo panted. âSubmit to me.â
âOkay, whatever you want,â Bucky gasped. âPlease just let me cumâŚâ
He cried out as Zemo sank his teeth into his neck, feeling his cock throb and spill between their two bodies as he came yet again.Â
âThatâs my good boy,â Zemo purred, licking the claiming bite heâd made on his mateâs neck.
Bucky shivered pleasurably as a little aftershock went through him. The bond between them felt electric, and every movement felt like gold sparks covering their skin.Â
âMmm feels good,â Bucky murmured, inhaling Zemoâs scent. He felt sated, at least temporarily, as, Zemo pulled out and lay next to him .
âYou ready, Baron?â, Brock asked, coming over to the bed. Bucky felt a yearning for the Alpha, but he was too tired, too fucked out to move right now. It was much easier to just lay right here and watch his two mates. But it didnât stop him moaning aloud as their Alpha slid into Zemo, and Bucky could almost feel their Alphaâs cock inside him, so good inside ZemoâŚ
It wasnât long before Brock came, and he waited for a moment before realizing that he wasnât knotting like he usually would. Zemo pushed him off and turned to Bucky.
âGo ahead, James,â Zemo panted. âItâs your turn now.â
The Alpha gripped his cock and began to quickly stroke it to hardness.
âYou want this?â, Brock rumbled.
Bucky nodded, turning onto his front for the Alpha and presenting instinctively. He needed so badly to feel his mate inside him, it almost hurt how much he wanted to be filled up.Â
Brock wasted no time in positioning himself on top of him, nuzzling at Buckyâs neck, licking him before nipping at his skin with a little growl. Bucky felt his heated breath and the stubble roughly brushing against his skin. The weight of his body pinning him down, and Bucky pushed back against him instinctively.
âFuck, youâre so slick,â Brock groaned as he pressed into him. âReally wanna fuck you.â
Bucky moaned as the tip of his mateâs cock slid in, and Brock stilled for a moment, allowing him to adjust to the sensation. But Bucky was pressing back against him, ridiculously turned on by how easily he could take him after being so thoroughly fucked by their Omega. And he was so slick, it really wasnât long before he was taking his Alphaâs cock all the way to the base, and Bones was pressing him down into the mattress growling in his ear. Bucky turned his head, only to see Zemo there next to him, and he gasped as the Omega kissed him possessively, all teeth and tongue. It was so much, and he moaned against his mateâs lips as he felt their Alpha pull his hips back, only to thrust into him again.Â
âYou feel so good, Buck,â he growled, âSo hot and sexy. Love the way youâre pushing back against me like that.â
âWant you, Alpha,â Bucky panted needily, âPlease fuck me.â
âHe will, James,â Zemo said, kissing him softly. Bucky whined, kissing him back hungrily, plunging his tongue into his mouth. He could feel his mateâs arousal through the bond they shared, and he loved knowing how much Zemo was getting off on this too, how much he loved seeing him getting fucked by their Alpha.
And Brock was properly fucking him now, each stroke sending waves of pleasure through Buckyâs body, his cock pressed hard and leaking against the mattress as pleas fell from his lips. âGod please, Bones, I need more, please, Alpha!âÂ
Bucky felt himself getting lost in the feeling of being so full of pleasure, safe and grounded with his mates taking care of him. And then he felt his mates bite down on each side of his neck, and his vision whited out and he was seeing stars, and he was coming so hard around his mate, tightening around his Alphaâs cock and feeling his Omega licking his skin to heal the claiming bite heâd made as Brock came inside him.Â
âOh fuck,â Bucky groaned, feeling the aftershocks running through him. His Alphaâs weight was warm on top of him, and he heard Bones growl in satisfaction as he felt his knot begin to swell, holding them together.Â
âThatâs so good, Bones,â Bucky murmured.Â
âMmm, just gonna keep you like this,â the Alpha rumbled.Â
âOn your knot?â
âUh-huh.â
âNot always, I should think,â Zemo said, nipping at Brockâs shoulder for attention.
âHey, Baron,â Brock slurred contentedly. âHavenât forgotten you, sâokay.â
âLeave him,â Bucky said, pulling his other mate into a kiss. Zemo responded to Buckyâs slow pace with one eager, hungry and full of need. When he pulled back, Bucky noticed that the Omegaâs eyes were glazed and there was sweat beading his skin.
âOh fuck, youâre not in heat again are you?â
âI donât know, perhaps,â Zemo said. âSometimes two heats can be close together, especially with new mates. I experienced that after Iâd bonded with Heike.â
âHmm, well Iâm not complaininââ, Brock grunted, easing out of Bucky and laying down next to him.
âItâs not ideal,â Zemo said. âI still donât feel entirely recovered from the last one, but itâs manageable.â
âYou sure itâs okay?â, Bucky asked.Â
âI have both of you here with me, so Iâm not concerned,â Zemo said. âThough, I should probably go to a doctor afterwards, just to make certain that everything is normal.â
âWhat do you need, Baron?â
âThereâs supplies upstairs in my nest room,â Zemo panted. âTowels, sheets, wet wipes, some food and bottled waterâŚeverything. I thought weâd be in my nest, but apparently not.â
*
Just as Zemo predicted, his heat didnât last longer than a day. But even so, their mate seemed exhausted by the end of it and ended up staying in bed for the next few days while he recovered. Both of them came to check in on him, and the kitten curled up with him in the nest heâd made in the bed while he rewatched episodes of, âMy Daughterâs Alphaâ.Â
Bucky cooked for them while Zemo was recovering because the meals that Brock made were usually pretty terrible. The Alpha usually just ate unseasoned chicken, broccoli and rice if he was cooking for himself. Sometimes he had canned tuna instead of chicken, but it seemed like that was pretty much the only thing he knew how to make. And Bucky didnât want anything to do with his breakfast protein shakes.Â
Bucky was pretty good at chicken noodle soup, which he knew Zemo liked. His ma had always made that for him when he was sick, so it was nice that he could make it for his mate now. Not that Zemo was sick exactly, but it was taking him a lot longer to recover than it had the last time. And this one hadnât even lasted that long.Â
When Bucky went up to see him, he still seemed exhausted, as if it was difficult for him just to stay awake. He had managed to take a bath the previous day, but that had taken all of his energy and for the rest of the day heâd just slept. Brock was snuggled up to him protectively, guarding him as he slept and he jumped when Bucky opened the door.
âJust me, Bones,â Bucky said, setting the tray down on the bedside table.
âHm, okay,â Brock said, eyeing him warily. âIâm gonna go pee but Iâll be right back.â
Bucky watched as the Alpha got up from the bed and walked over to the en suite. The movement seemed to rouse Zemo, who stirred sleepily and opened his eyes.Â
âHello, James,â he murmured.
âHey,â Bucky said, sitting on the bed next to him. âHowâre you doing?â
Zemo shrugged. âFine.â
âSo, the same then?â
âA little better.â
Brock returned, quickly closing the door behind him.Â
âBrock, can you go take a shower please?â, Zemo asked, scenting the air. âYou smell very strongly of Alpha.â
âYeah, exactly,â the Alpha said. âGotta make sure youâre protected.â
âYouâre being ridiculous,â Zemo sighed. âJames, tell him.â
âMaybe give him some space?â, Bucky suggested.
âFine,â Brock grunted, stepping back into the bathroom. âIâll shower, if thatâs what you want. But Iâm coming straight back.â
Zemo rolled his eyes. âHe feels like he needs to guard me every moment while Iâm like this.â
Bucky smirked at him. âReally? I hadnât noticed.â
âI keep telling him Iâm alright, but he wonât listen.â
âYeah, about that,â Bucky said. âI figured you wouldnât be well enough for therapy, so I cancelled our session this week.â
âWhy?â
âBecause itâs this afternoon, and you can still barely get out of bed.â
Zemo frowned and pulled himself up into a sitting position, âItâs Thursday already?â
âYes.â
âOh. I didnât realize.â
Bucky passed him the tray and watched as Zemo began eating.
âIâm worried about you,â Bucky admitted. âI wanna make sure youâre okay.â
Zemo shook his head. âIâm just tired.â
âExhausted, more like. You should go see a doctor.â
âI donât think thereâs any cause for concern. Like I said, I have had heats close together like this in the past.â
Bucky tilted his head to one side. âRemind me again how long you were on suppressants for?â
Zemo sighed. âFine, I take your point. Iâll go.â
*
Brock wasnât happy about Zemo going in to see a doctor alone. His mates had told him about the bond testing, which in hindsight might have been a mistake because it was making him nervous about how his Omega might be treated.Â
âFor the last time, it will be fine moj tigric ,â Zemo said, stroking his cheek. âYou can wait right outside. Iâll just be on the other side of the door.â
âJust go,â Bucky said, âHeâll be okay.â
Brock folded his arms and took a seat, jigging his leg nervously. After a few minutes he took out a packet of cigarettes.
âBones, you canât smoke in here,â Bucky whispered.
âIâm not,â Brock said, sticking the cigarette behind his ear. âIâm going outside.â
It wasnât long before Zemo came out of the room, his face a blank mask.Â
Buckyâs heart sank. âWhat happened?â
âNothing whatsoever,â Zemo said, walking past him. Bucky caught up with him and matched his mateâs pace.Â
âCome on, tell me.â
Zemo sighed. âHe didnât listen to a word I said.â
Bucky stared at him in disbelief. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, he said that I was probably overreacting and wrote me a prescription for suppressants and told me to take them,â Zemo said, handing him the prescription with a disgusted look on his face. âCompletely ridiculous, but not unexpected.â
âI should go back there and talk to him-â
Zemo shook his head. âHe wonât listen to you anymore than he will to me. Do you have any idea how people see you now that youâre bonded, James?â
Bucky looked back at him. âIâve been bonded for a long time, Zemo.â
âI mean now that youâreâŚvisible, as it were. Other Betas will treat you differently.â
âI know that, okay?â Bucky insisted. âLook, we can find you another doctor. One who actually knows how to treat Omegas.â
âNo, I really do feel better,â Zemo said. âI donât think itâs necessary. Come, letâs put our Alpha out of his misery. Iâm sure heâs anxiously waiting in the parking lot.â
*
Â
Chapter Text
*
True to his word, Zemo had started translating the black book that contained the information about the Crossbones project. First into Sokovian, because he had a much better grasp of the nuances of his native language, before translating that into English. It was slow progress, made even more difficult by the technicalities and acronyms that HYDRA was so fond of using.Â
He sat in a comfortable leather chair at the desk in the office, with the Crossbones book, an advanced Russian dictionary, a blank notebook in which he was writing the translation, and a glass of whiskey. So far heâd only worked his way through the glossary of terms at the start of the book, which would hopefully lend some understanding to the rest of it, but he hadnât yet got into the main text.Â
Despite Zemoâs curiosity about the contents of the book, heâd respected Jamesâ wishes and waited until heâd said that he was ready to proceed. And James had finally done so yesterday morning when they were all having breakfast together at the kitchen table. Apparently James had been thinking about it, and he felt that it was time, because he and Brock were in a much better place now. Zemo definitely agreed that the two of them really did seem much better. They were spending more time together, and Brock even wanted to sleep in the same bed as them sometimes now. And while it was true that their bond with him was still hard to understand, they all felt much more relaxed around each other.
Taking a bracing sip of his whiskey, Zemo opened the book. It began with a date. March 2nd, 1960.
Zemo stared at the date. That couldnât be right, surely? His mates had bonded in 1991, or so Brock had said. But then Zemo recalled from his own research heâd done on the HYDRA files, that the Winter Soldier had been in the US at that time. That couldnât be a coincidence.
He read on. It seemed like a lab report, though it was handwritten. Maybe more like notes or a first draft, then?
Entry 1
LEAD- Dr. Ophelia Sarkissian (EC 29383)
Ophelia Sarkissian âŚZemo knew that name. In fact, heâd met her in person, when he was only a teenager. Sheâd been one of the doctors at the institute heâd been sent to while they started him on heat suppressants, which had been truly awful at that time. Heâd later learned that it was a HYDRA facility doing experiments on Omegas, though of course as the son of a Baron heâd been spared that. He wasnât surprised to discover she was involved in this project. He continued reading.
The âAssetâ, otherwise known as âThe Winter Soldierâ, is the focus of this research. Originally designed by Doctor Arnim Zola, the Assetâs programming has been gradually degrading for the last decade. It presents numerous malfunctions, including escape attempts and unauthorized termination of HYDRA operatives, including two of its handlers: Ivan Petrov and Dimitri Nikolayev. Therefore, better measures are necessary to ensure its compliance.Â
In recent years there has been discussion of decommissioning the Asset and stripping it for parts. Myself and Doctor Zola believe that this would be a waste of the Assetâs potential, and that there is much that can be done to make improvements before we reach that stage.
Hypothesis: Bonding the Asset to an Alpha loyal to HYDRA, who would act as its primary handler, would ensure better control of the Asset and reduce the risk of further malfunctions.
James had told him that on long missions the programming would start breaking down, and that he remembered escaping several times after killing his handlers. However, he would always be recaptured, because HYDRA didnât want him falling into the hands of their enemies.
Zemo took a sip of his whiskey thoughtfully.Â
James had only told him about bonding to Brock. He hadnât told him that HYDRA had tried, and failed, to bond him back in the â60s. Zemo didnât think he would have lied to him about that. After the revelation that he was bonded to Brock, James never lied about anything to do with his past.
He would have mentioned it, Zemo thought. But maybe he simply doesnât remember.
More determined than ever to find answers, he continued reading the book.
It has been well documented that Cyclosexuals form sympathetic bonds with their âmatesâ that are intrapsychic and bioresponsive in nature (note: add citations to official report).Â
These bonds were used in ancient Sparta, where soldiers would perform better and fight harder in battle in front of their mates. Nor would either mate dessert out of cowardice, and risk leaving the other behind.Â
The Omega Cyclosexual is not suitable for assimilation into HYDRA because it is biologically inferior and its presence disrupts the Alpha Cyclosexual. There is also a greater risk of unauthorized bonding than there is with Alpha/Beta relations. Therefore, bonding the Asset to an Omega would be undesirable.
However, the nature of the Alpha Cyclosexual is better suited to obeying the HYDRA command structure (under the supervision of a Pack Leader) than its weaker counterpart. There are already many Alphas within HYDRA, so additional recruitment would not be necessary.Â
The Omegaphobia wasnât anything new to Zemo, nor was HYDRAâs obsession with Sparta. But the mention of Alphas made Zemo wonder whether Brock knew any of this. Did he know that there had been an experiment preceding the one that he had been a part of?
Such questions wouldnât be answered until he talked to his mates about all of this, so Zemo carried on with his translation.Â
The Asset is a Beta, and as such it would be possible to bond it to a biologically compatible Alpha. Blood samples indicate that the Asset has a Alphasterone Hormone (AH) level of 34 mIU/mL, which is a heightened level for an unbonded Beta. This would put it at 7 on the McMillen scale.
Fig. 1- The McMillen Rating Scale of Cyclosexual Designation
0: Omega Dysfunctional TypeÂ
1 - 2: Omega Cyclosexual
3 - 7: Normal (Beta)
8 - 9: Alpha Cyclosexual
10: Alpha Dysfunctional Type
It must be acknowledged that this result is not ideal for the purposes of bonding it to an Alpha (a 3-5 rating would be preferable) but it is still within the expected range so there is no reason that this should not be possible.
Zemo knew that he was a 2, or at least he had been last time heâd had a blood test. The results varied slightly depending on where he was in his cycle. It also didnât account for the fact that many doctors rounded the numbers up or down, to fit more people into the ânormalâ range. He wasnât surprised that, given his Alpha traits, James had naturally been a 7 before he bonded.Â
Doctor Zola initially agreed to supervise this project, but has since resigned over ideological differences. He refused to acknowledge that there were any issues with his [the assetâs] system, and that all the problems were due to the technicians' failure to follow the correct instructions for its maintenance. He was also opposed to the idea of bonding the asset to an Alpha because it would, "introducing degenerate behaviours into [his] creation." Obviously I disagree with Doctor Zola, but it must be conceded that one of the side effects of successfully bonding the Asset may be that it begins to display some Omega-like behaviours. However, this shouldnât be a problem with the increased control its handler will have over it.Â
Method: Alpha test subjects will be allocated mating time according to a rota (ref. 541AR) which has been drafted according to the Alphaâs rut cycles. Alphas are more likely to bond when they are pre- rut or in full rut, so this timing will ensure the maximum opportunity for bonding.
During the course of the experiment, the Asset will be sedated and restrained to ensure that it is compliant, and therefore wonât be available for active duty.
Zemo set the book down and quickly drank the rest of his whiskey.Â
A paragraph bitching about Arnim Zola, followed by a sentence briefly mentioning that my mate had been drugged, tied down and raped, he thought angrily. How absolutely typical of HYDRA!
Zemo glanced at the section underneath.Â
Subjects: 16 Male Alphas (McMillen rating scale range 8-9), aged 20-35. Mean age: 24. Status: unbonded.
What followed was a list of sixteen names which Zemo didnât recognise- all except for one. Alexander Pierce.
He would have been a young man then, Zemo realized. An Alpha in his prime, whose whole family had been members of HYDRA for generations. The thought of what heâd done to James made him feel sick and stirred in him a cold anger that he knew could prove to be extremely dangerous. Zemo forced himself to take a deep breath.
Brock had mentioned Pierce occasionally. His superior, but also as if he was a mentor figure of some kind. Zemo wondered if Brock had any idea what Pierce had done to his mate, and he wasnât sure he wanted to know the answer either way.Â
Zemo sighed. He had known this was going to be hard, but he hadnât realized that this project had started years before his mates had even met. That Brock bonding with him was an end to a series of horrific experiments which seemed to have been erased from Jamesâs memory, or buried because of how traumatic it was.Â
He closed the notebook. That was quite enough revelations for today.Â
*
Later that day, they all gathered in the living room on Zemoâs request. His mates were seated next to each other on the couch, while he sat in the armchair opposite them. Bucky was petting his kitten who was curled up next to him sleeping. Brock was sitting on Buckyâs other side, his arms crossed, tapping his foot restlessly.Â
Zemo slowly, and as calmly as he was able, presented everything heâd learned thus far, and when he was done waited for their response. James appeared to take it well, his expression thoughtful as he stroked Alpine. Though, Zemo could feel through the bond that there was a heaviness settling in his chest. Weary, almost resigned.
However, Brock looked as if he was about to bolt from his seat. He was clenching his jaw hard enough Zemo could see the muscle jumping, his arms crossed tightly in front of him as if trying to defend himself from the inevitable.
âYou sure, Baron?â, he grunted, breaking a silence that had stretched on for far too long.
Zemo nodded. âYes, I am.â
âYou said your Russian wasnât as good as your English.â
âI may have missed some of the nuances,â Zemo admitted. âBut I am in no doubt as to their meaning. This all happened to James, I am certain of it.â
Brock nodded as if he wasnât fully hearing what Zemo was saying. âI gotta go,â he mumbled, getting up quickly and walking out of the room. They heard the door to the basement open and his feet descending the stairs, followed by a crash as some boxes were knocked over.Â
Bucky petted Alpine in silence for a minute before Zemo asked, âHow are you feeling, James?â
âI donât know,â Bucky said slowly. âItâs notâŚI donât remember any of that stuff you said, but itâs not exactly a surprise. I told you before that there are things I know that probably happened, but itâs like they happened to someone else. Not to me. â
He paused for a moment. âThe two guys the book mentions were my handlers: one of themâŚdid stuff to me, the other one tried. I think thatâs why I killed them. If anyone did anything to me that wasnât part of the programming, it was easier to break it because I knew that those things werenât permitted. But I didnât know that HYDRA let the AlphasâŚall of themâŚâ He trailed off, shaking his head. âHonestly, Iâm glad I donât remember.â
Zemo hesitated. âWould you rather I hadnât said anything?â
Bucky shook his head. âNo. Like I said before, Iâd rather know the facts in case I suddenly get those memories back. At least this way if I do, I can make sense of it. Not saying itâll be easy, but at least Iâll know what they are.â
Zemo sat down on the couch next to him, threading his fingerâs with Jamesâs metal ones.Â
âI would kill them all for doing that to you,â he said.Â
âThen I guess itâs good theyâre already dead.â
âPerhaps, yes,â Zemo agreed.
âI donât need you seeking revenge for me,â Bucky said firmly.
âWhat do you need, then?â
âJust you. And Brock.â Bucky frowned. âHeâs not okay. I can feel the bond spiking all over the place .â
âI know, I feel it too,â Zemo said with concern. âShould we go down and check on him?â
Bucky shook his head. âNo, heâll want to be alone right now. When he wants to talk heâll come back up.â
*
Brock lay on the stained, gritty basement floor panting heavily. The concrete was cool and hard beneath him and it made him feel slightly more grounded. He winced as he felt a sting of pain in his knuckles and turned his head to see that they were bleeding.
He noticed the scattered boxes of books and miscellaneous junk theyâd been trying to shift from the basement. It had been neatly stacked along the wall by the stairs, but now it was as if theyâd never cleaned up. All that progress theyâd made, completely wasted. Worse, because heâd broken a lot of the ornaments in the boxes heâd kicked and punched, and finally knocked over.Â
Brock closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He felt drained of energy, and yet his heart was still pounding in his chest like heâd just been fighting for his life.Â
Pierce. Fucking Pierce! Fuck, fuck, fuck!Â
Pierce had really done that to his mate! He should have protected Winter from him, he just had no ideaâŚ
ButâŚwas that true? Didnât he always think there was something strange about how Pierce treated Winter?Â
He should have protected him!
And if Pierce did that to Winter back then, did he everâŚ? Were there other times where heâŚ?Â
Itâs not like Winter could say no, Â Brock thought despairingly . At least not if Pierce had used the command words on him. And itâs not like Iâd have felt it in the bond if that had happened to Winter because our bond is fucking broken and I can hardly feel anything through it.Â
Brock wasnât sure if he could deal with asking him, because what if Bucky said yes? That Pierce had done that to him, behind Brockâs back? He didnât know if he could live with the guilt.
I gotta protect him now. Both of them.
Brock sat up, glad that heâd come to a resolution. He wished he hadnât gone crazy like that and smashed up the place. His knuckles were bleeding freely now and his hands throbbed. Heâd never have lost it like that in the past. Pierce wouldnât have let him. He never let any of his Alphas get too out of control.Â
Brock touched the back of his neck, where once thereâd been the faint silver outline of a claiming bite that might as well have been a brand. It had long since burned away, and his skin had since healed over. But he could still remember being pressed face down onto the training mat while the others crowded around him to watch, chanting âOrder through pain!â âOrder through pain!â as Brock screamed and felt his Pack Leaderâs teeth bury in his neck. Pierce had held him steady as he jerked and twisted and flailed, trying to turn over because he needed to show him, instinctively needing the dominant Alpha to know that he was submitting to himâŚ
But it was no use; Pierce wouldnât let him turn, wouldnât let it be over until he decided that it was over.
Brock gasped as he felt a hot, swelling sensation at the base of his cock that forced him to lie back down, and he realized in horror that he was submission knotting. For a fucking dead man and a rapist! It was so humiliating that, despite the pain, he slammed his fist against the floor in frustration.
Youâre not the dominant Alpha, a voice in his head whispered as his breath came sharp and shallow, like he was drowning. The dominant Alpha has first mating rights. Pierce could have just taken him from you, and youâd have let him.
âThatâs not fucking true!â Brock shouted. âIâd kill him! Iâd kill him if he ever touched Win!â
He did.
âIâd kill him!â
Would you?
â...fuck!â
Fuck, Iâve gotta protect them, keep them safe! Brock thought frantically, squeezing his knot hard and willing it to release. But I couldnât keep Win safe, canât keep them safe, fuckfuckfuckâŚ
Now his cock was getting hard and he groaned as he wrapped his hand around it.
Youâre a useless, pathetic Alpha. They donât need you. Youâre just a burden to them. You should leave, theyâd be happy without youâŚ
He couldnât even cum his knot was swelling so much, and Rumlow moaned aloud in frustration. He just wanted it to be over, but he felt like he had no control over his own body. He needed someone to tell him that he was allowed to cum, that he was good, a good boy. That there was nothing wrong with him. That he wasnât pathetic, broken and so fucking weak.Â
But he had no one. No pack leader. Pierce was dead, and Brock wished he was too.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with me?â, Brock panted, laying on the floor cradling his knot.Â
*
When Brock realized that it wasn't going down any time soon, he pulled himself to his feet and went upstairs to find the one thing that would help. It was in a bottle in the lockbox in his room. Zemo had accidentally spilled some of it, but not much. All he needed was a little of the scent, and he'd be able to release his knot and cum, no problem. It always worked without fail. But in the hallway, he ran into Bucky in the hallway and froze, like he'd been caught doing something wrong.
"Hey. Can we talk?", Bucky asked.
Brock avoided his gaze. "Later."
"Brock-"
"Just later, okay?", he snapped, trying to brush past him to get upstairs.Â
But Bucky caught his arm. "Please. Don't shut me out."
"I'm not, I just need to do something."
"Can't it wait?"
"No."
"Your handsâŚ"
"I've had worse and you know it," Brock said, tugging out of Bucky's grip. "They'll heal."
Now that he was free, Brock found himself unable to look away from his mate. He could tell that Bucky was upset, and he wanted to talk, but he just couldn't think while his knot was throbbing, making his cock ache.
"I know he was your pack leader.â
"Don't talk about things you don't understand," Brock snapped.Â
Bucky gave him a strange look. âDid heâŚdid he do something to you too?â
Brock stared at him in disbelief.Â
"What?"
"You know what I mean."
"No, I donât!" Brock growled. "Donât know what the hell you're talkinâ about!"
"Bones-"
But Brock ignored him and went up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.Â
*
It was the next day, and neither Zemo nor James had seen Brock since heâd locked himself in his room. He hadnât even come down for dinner, so Zemo had left a tray outside his room. It remained untouched when they left the house for a hike that morning.Â
As he followed his mate through the woods, Zemo knew that there was something on Jamesâs mind that he wanted to talk about. He hadnât said much yesterday, and Zemo had gotten the impression that he was still processing everything heâd told him. Which was understandable, given what theyâd just learnt.Â
Sunlight dappled the path and leaves rustled overhead in the breeze. It was hot and sticky, and the sea breeze barely stirred the air here. Zemo was thankful that James seemed to realize he was tiring, and had stopped up ahead in a clearing. Zemo leaned against a tree panting heavily, and gratefully took the water bottle that James handed him. It was difficult keeping up with a super soldier.
âListen, what I said yesterday about not rememberingâŚâ Bucky began.
Zemo kept silent, and waited for him to continue. He could tell that James was struggling with the words, and he wanted to reach out to his mate and comfort him, but he knew that he needed to give him space to finish what he had to say.
âI think I doâŚremember parts,â Bucky continued slowly. âBut it got really messed up because he- because Winter didnât really understand what was going on back then.â
Zemo nodded. He understood how difficult this must be for his mate, and he could feel through the bond how painful it felt for James to talk about.Â
âSo, there was this guy who I- who Winter called âHYDRA Steveâ, because he looked like Steve, but wasnât. So, one moment everything would be fine, and then Iâd be confused, because heâd hurt me and then Iâd realise, fuck thatâs not Steve. â
âThat was Pierce?â, Zemo asked gently.
Bucky nodded. âYeah, it must have been. They were both Alphas, and they looked so similar. And I couldnât move or get away, which makes me think that must have been then , because the book said they sedated me.â
âYes, as well as restraints.â
âBecause they knew Iâd try and fight,â Bucky said grimly. âThey must have been glad they could use artificial hormones on me in round two. No need to chain me up if they can make me want it.â
âJamesâŚâ Zemo said, reaching out and took him in his arms. Bucky exhaled a shaky breath, and wrapped his arms around him, and Zemo could feel the weight of his emotion as he held him.
âYou know, I think that part of that might have been why it was hard to be with Steve later,â James said, when he pulled back. âI thought it was because of Rumlow, but I think it was more than that because it just feltâŚwrong. And I didnât know why.â
He let out a frustrated sigh, running his hand through his hair. âI hate how thereâs all this stuff I still donât know, but at the same time I donât know if I wanna knowâŚIâm just tired of this. Itâs exhausting having to think about it.â
âWe can stop any time you want, James.â
âYeah, but we need to do this for our relationship- so Brock and I can get better.â
Zemo nodded. He'd overheard the argument they'd had yesterday in the hall. It was so easy for him to reach out to James through their bond like he was doing now, that he often found himself instinctively trying to do the same with Brock. Only, almost every time he would come up against a wall of static. The only thing Zemo could tell was that it felt even more snarled and tangled than it usually was, which meant that Brock was still upset. He didn't blame Brock, but he knew how much James was hurting too and he wished that he could make things between them right again.
"Don't blame yourself," James said, bringing Zemo back to the present.Â
"But you were both doing better," Zemo said. "If I hadn't brought all this to you yesterday-"
Bucky shook his head. "No, it's not your fault. Like I said, I prefer to know.â
âNo more for a while, I think.â
âYeah, youâre right,â Bucky agreed. âI need to talk to Rumlow first. I donât know whatâs going on with him.â
Zemo sighed and closed his eyes. The sunlight and the heat were giving him a headache.Â
âPierce was his pack leader, James,â he said. âWhat a pack leader is to Alphas is quite hard to explain, but Iâd imagine this feels to him like a betrayal.â
âHe knew that Pierce was bad.â
âThereâs trust, protection and safety in a pack,â Zemo said, opening his eyes to look at his mate. âBrock would have looked to Alexander Pierce for all of those things. He may have known that Pierce was a bad man, but he didnât know that his pack leader would do that to his mate .â
James thought about this for a moment. âI donât really understand all this pack stuff,â he said eventually. âMaybe itâs because Iâm a Beta, not a cyclo. But I should probably talk to him about this. See how heâs feeling.â
âHe loves you,â Zemo said gently. âI know he does. Even if he doesnât say it.â
âI wish he would,â Bucky said.
âMaybe itâs taking a while for him to realize that heâs allowed to now.â
âMaybe.â
Zemo smiled. âI love you.â
âLove you too.â
Zemo leaned his head back against the tree, feeling dizzy. The light and heat seemed suddenly overwhelming, and his head was pounding.Â
âHey, whatâs wrong?â, Bucky asked.
âJustâŚa little dizzy," Zemo mumbled, sitting down on the ground with his back against the tree. "I need a moment.â
Bucky nodded. "Okay."Â
After about five minutes had passed, Bucky asked. âYou think you can walk back to the house?"
"Yes, of course," Zemo said, but when he attempted to stand, he stumbled. "Perhaps, a hand if you would?"
"Don't worry, I got you," Bucky said, scooping him up into bridal carry.
"This is quite unnecessary," Zemo protested. Though he had to admit, it was a lot easier than walking.
*
When Zemo woke up, it was dark. At first he wasn't sure why he'd woken up, but then he realized that he was freezing. He was so cold that his body was shivering to try to warm up, so he grabbed a blanket from next to the bed and put it over himself. But even that didn't help, so he forced himself to get up to find something warmer. Sitting up, he felt like the room around him was spinning and, realizing that he was going to be sick, he stumbled to the bathroom and threw up.
He didnât feel any better after, and when he tried to stand, he was seized by another wave of nausea and slumped back down, hugging the toilet bowl. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but eventually the sickness ebbed and he was able to pull himself up and pour himself a cup of water from the sink.
He was freezing, so he made his way back to the bed, leaning on the wall for support. On his way, he grabbed a stack of blankets out of the closet and pulled them over himself and buried them underneath, trying to get warm.Â
The movement seemed to have disturbed James, who mumbled sleepily, "Zemo? It's lateâŚ"
"Sorry."
James snuggled up to him, and Zemo was grateful for the warmth of his body. "Why are you so cold?", Bucky asked, suddenly wide awake. Zemo could feel his concern humming through the bond, but he felt too tired to reassure him.Â
"I don't know. I feel nauseous and dizzy."Â
"Do you still have a headache?"
"Mm. Yes, now that you mention it."
"Okay, I'm gonna turn the heat up and get you some more blankets."
Zemo closed his eyes, already feeling himself sinking back into sleep.
*
When he woke up again, he was too hot and Brock was lying next to him on the bed. Zemo didnât know when heâd come in, but he was glad that his Alpha was here.Â
"He's awake," Brock said. "How you doing? Do you need anything?"
Zemo snuggled up against him, inhaling his mateâs scent. His body ached, almost as bad as when he was in heat, and he was suddenly too hot, and he pulled the blankets off himself,Â
"You're burning up," Brock murmured, putting a hand against Zemo's forehead. "I should get you a wet washcloth, or something."
"Just stay with me, please," Zemo murmured, nuzzling against his neck. Somehow just the scent of his mate was making him feel better, and when he licked at his skin it was a relief.
He realized that he was sweating when he wiped his brow.Â
He felt James come into the room. "Hey, Zemo? Can you tell me how you're feeling?"
âItâs probably just the flu,â Zemo mumbled, wondering why Bucky couldn't tell from the bond, but then he realized how strange their bond felt right now. Sort of scattered, as though there was interference. Or perhaps he simply couldnât focus on it.
"Neither of us are sick."
"You're a super soldier, James."
"Tell us how youâre feeling," Brock commanded.
"I have a fever, Iâm dizzy, my body aches. And I vomited when I woke up earlier."
"I don't like this," Bucky said, sitting down on the bed next to him. "The bond doesn't feel right."
"You wanna have some water, Baron?", Brock asked.
Zemo nodded, taking the glass Brock was handing him. He took a small sip, unable to bring himself to take anymore than that. I'm so tired , he thought, closing his eyes.
âI just need to sleep. Iâm sure Iâll feel better in the morning.â
âIt is morning, Zemo.â
âTomorrow morning, then,â he mumbled, nuzzling against his Alpha. Then he felt his stomach turn and quickly scrambled to get up before vomiting over the side of the bed. He heard Brock's voice saying, "It's okay, itâs okayâŚ" as if from a long way away, and then he passed out.Â
*
When Zemo next woke up he was confused and disoriented. The smells around him were all wrong and he didn't like the feeling of the scratchy blanket against his skin. The only consolation was that he could feel his mates nearby.
"You're awake!" Brock exclaimed, the moment he opened his eyes. âHowâre you feeling?â
Zemo realized that he was in an unfamiliar bed, and his mates were in chairs on either side of him. James to his left, Brock to his right.Â
Zemo reached out and then realized that there was an IV drip in his right arm. He looked at it in confusion for a moment before asking, "Why am I in the hospital?"
"You were sweating like crazy and not keeping any liquid down," Bucky replied. "And then you passed out and we couldn't wake you up. So, I called an ambulance and we brought you here."
Zemo closed his eyes wearily against the bright, fluorescent lights. "Do they know what's wrong with me?"
"No, they're useless," Brock growled.
The Alpha hadn't left his side for a moment all day, so it had fallen to Bucky to bring them both food. Not that Brock had so much as touched his. Whenever the nurses came by to check on Zemo, Brock had glared at them and asked what they were doing.Â
Bucky was a little worried that given their history, it would cause problems for Brock to be here. It was him who was listed as Zemo's mate on their legal records, not Brock.
We should have thought of this , Bucky thought to himself. Something like this was always going to happen. We should have had a plan.
He'd tried explaining the situation to Brock, but the Alpha seemed not to listen, and had instead just been focusing on their sleeping mate. It wasn't that Bucky wasn't worried about him, but was the fact that they were all bonded going to be a problem for Zemo's parole? Or Brock's, for that matter? The Alpha was technically supposed to be in witness protection, but he seemed to have just ignored that fact since the blip.Â
It was all too complicated, and Bucky felt like he didn't have anyone to talk to. Until he remembered Sam.
"I'm gonna go make a call," Bucky said. Now that Zemo was awake, he could think a bit more clearly.
Rumlow nodded, not taking his eyes from Zemo for a second.
Once he was out in the hallway, Bucky took out his phone and dialled his friendâs number. Luckily, he picked up after only a few rings.
"Hey, Sam,"
"Hey, Buck, how you been?"
"Zemo's in the hospital," he said, cutting to the chase.
"What? Why?"
"He's sick. They don't know what's wrong with him."
"Is it serious?"
"They don't know," Bucky said. Saying it aloud made him realize just how afraid he really was. "We thought it was flu, but then it got bad. He's probably gonna have to stay in for a few days, at least."
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm worried about him. And Brock won't leave his side for a second. He's growling at anyone who comes near him. I'm worried about what's going to happen when someone realizes weâre bonded."
"Tell them the truth, say that you're all bonded but only you're registered as his mate."
"Yeah, but they're gonna know we lied, Sam. I said I wasn't bonded to anyone else during the bond testing, so did Zemo."Â
"You could have bonded since then."
"What would be the chances of me bonding to the one guy who used to be my handler?"
"I see your point. Maybe you should get a lawyer. That's what you should have done on day one."
âYeah, youâre right,â Bucky said. âI guess weâll just have to see what happens. Right now I just wanna make sure heâs okay."
*
When Bucky returned, Zemo was lying on his side, nuzzling against Brock's wrist. He seemed to be enjoying scenting him, and seemed a lot more relaxed than when he'd first woken up. Brock was murmuring soothing words to him, and Bucky was relieved to feel that the bond felt a little more normal.
He turned, instantly alert when a man wearing a white coat with a name tag that read âDr. Mayfieldâ approached them. Bucky wanted to keep him away from his mate, but he realized that probably wasnât a smart move, given the circumstances.
"James Barnes?", the doctor asked Brock.Â
Brock shook his head. "That's him," he said, indicating Bucky.
The doctor looked between them in confusion.Â
"We're bonded," Bucky admitted. "We're his mates."
âWhatâs wrong with him?â, Brock asked quickly, indicating Zemo, who was still scenting his wrist.Â
The doctor consulted his notes. âHis designation is Omega?â
âYes.â
âIt appears that heâs suffering from Febris Infirmum- heat sickness.â
âWhatâs that?â Bucky asked. âIs it serious?â
âIt can be, yes,â Mayfield said. âItâs caused by hormone imbalance. Overproduction of Omega hormones. Blockers or suppressants are needed to help level them out.â
âBut he was on suppressants for years,â Bucky said. âHeâs only just come off them.â
âThat probably wasnât advisable,â the doctor replied. âItâs likely his body adjusted to them, and now heâs having an adverse reaction.â
âThat was months ago,â Zemo said, pulling himself upright with some effort. âAnd please stop talking about me as if Iâm not here. Iâm perfectly cognizant of my surroundings, thank you.â
âAs I was saying,â the doctor said, readjusting his glasses. âItâs likely a reaction caused by withdrawal. Itâs quite common.â
âThatâs ridiculous,â Zemo said dismissively. âAs I said, itâs been over three months. I went through a withdrawal almost immediately, and this is not that.â
âIâve seen many cases of this before,â the doctor continued, as if Zemo hadnât said anything at all. âOmegas going off suppressants, putting their health at risk. Itâs very dangerous.â
âSo, you think he should go back on suppressants?â, Bucky asked.Â
âNot immediately, of course. But when heâs well enough, that would be for the best.â
Zemo shook his head. âNo.â
Mayfield raised his eyebrows at him. âExcuse me?â
âItâs unnecessary now that Iâm bonded. I refuse to do that again.â
âHm. Well, itâs your decision, of course, but I really think you should consider it. In the meantime, thereâs not a lot we can do.â He turned to Bucky and said, âWe can keep him sedated, and on an IV drip to prevent dehydration. But we canât give him artificial hormones if heâs bonded, his body will reject them, so his Alpha needs to stay with him until his condition improves."
âFor how long?â
âItâs unclear at this stage. A few days usually, but it could be up to a week.â He glanced between Brock and Bucky. âSo, which one of you is the Alpha?â
âI am,â Brock said firmly.
The doctor looked down at his paperwork. âYouâre not registered, MrâŚ?â
âSmith.â
âWell, Mr. Smith. He needs his mate. The one heâs bonded to.â
âKeep trying to tell you thatâs both of us!â
"Brock," Zemo said. They all turned their attention to him. "I will be fine with James. His scent will work now, so you don't need to worry about me."
"Are you sure?", Brock asked with concern. "I don't want you to be in pain or nothin'."
"I won't be, I promise."
"If he's with his bonded mate, there should be nothing to worry about," Mayfield said.Â
Brock stood up, glaring at the doctor. âYou sayin' Iâm lying about being his Alpha?â
âOkay, outside nowâ, Bucky said firmly, taking Brock by the arm and pulling him away from Mayfield.
âYou need to calm down,â Bucky said when they were out in the corridor. âItâs okay.â
âLike hell it is!â, the Alpha snapped. "The Baron's in the hospital and they're not gonna let me stay with him!"
âJust take a breath, alright?â
âThis is bullshit, and you know it!â
Bucky sighed. âI know, believe me I do. This is what it was like when we went through bond testing.â
âBut you donât know what it feels like! Having your mate taken away and thereâs nothing you can do about it.â
Like hell I donât, Bucky thought. But instead he said, âNo oneâs taking him away. Look, I canât deal with this right now. I need to go back in there and talk to the doctor.â
âSo what am I supposed to do, just wait out here?â, Brock said, gesturing around him.
Bucky shrugged. âJust go have a cigarette or something.â
Brock crossed his arms in front of him. âThey said only one of us can stay with him. So thatâs you, huh?â
âYeah, itâs gotta be,â Bucky said wearily. âI'm sorry, Bones. It has to be me because of the parole terms.â
"Donât worry, I get it.â
âDo you?â
âUh-huh. See you later, I guess,â Brock said, turning to go.
âBones, hey, donât just leave-â
âGo back in there,â Brock said sharply, turning back to face him.
âWhat?â
âGo back in there right now. He needs someone with him.â
Bucky frowned. âZemoâs fine. Heâs sleeping again.â
âAnd I suppose you can tell that through your bond?â
âWell, yeah.â
âYeah, I see how it is.â
âOh come on, donât be like that!â
But Brock just shook his head and walked off.
*
Chapter Text
*
The sun was setting by the time Brock got back to their house. The moment he opened the door Alpine was there meowing at him. She was probably wondering where theyâd been all day.Â
"So it's just you an' me huh?", Brock said to the tiny white kitten. She blinked up at him and then wandered off in the direction of the kitchen, meowing for food.Â
Brock sighed and followed after her. He got a small can of chicken-flavoured kitten food from the cupboard and tipped it into a bowl for her. "First-best daddy is looking after second-best daddy in the hospital, so I guess you're stuck with me."
The kitten ignored him in favour of scarfing down her dinner.Â
Brockâs stomach felt like it was tied in knots from worrying about his mate, but he hadnât eaten all day and he realized that he should probably make something for himself too. He microwaved some leftover tuna pasta, zoning out as he stared at the glowing numbers counting down until they reached zero.
Brock was too tired to be angry now. He hadnât slept at all last night because theyâd been taking care of Zemo, and then theyâd rushed him to the hospital. He thought about his mate lying in a strange bed, surrounded by doctors, so helpless and unprotected. It wasnât fair that he couldnât be with Zemo when Zemo needed him and if something happened to his mate because he wasnât thereâŚ
Brock went to the fridge and grabbed a cold six pack of beer and set them on the counter. Grabbing one, he popped open the cap and drank it down, without stopping for breath. It was better than nothing, but not enough to get him buzzed, so he opened another.Â
He knew that Bucky was there to guard Zemo, and that he was ten times stronger than Brock was, but it wasnât the same. Brock was Zemoâs Alpha; he needed to be there!Â
Zemo was definitely going to miss him, he needed his hormones to feel better. Thatâs what the doctor had said, though heâd been basically useless and hadnât listened to a word theyâd said. ButâŚZemo had said he didnât need him, because he had Bucky.
Brock felt his heart sink. Heâd always suspected it, but to actually hear that from his OmegaâŚ
Brock had just slumped down on the couch to eat his leftovers and drink himself better when his phone vibrated in his pocket.Â
Â
Â
That leaves seventeen and a half hours until I can see my Omega again, Brock thought miserably, starting on his third beer. There was no way he could sleep until heâd finish the rest of the six pack, at least. He was too alert for that, his body still tense and trying to guard his mate, even though he wasnât here.Â
It had sometimes been like that back in his HYDRA days, especially after a mission with Winter. After they'd put him back in cryo, Brock would drink for days until Jack eventually hauled his ass out of whatever sleazy bar heâd wound up in and brought him back home.
This felt just like that, even if Brock knew it wasnât the same. He would get to see his mate again, soon, he just had to hold out until tomorrow.
Brock turned the tv on to distract himself and began watching a re-run of House. He switched it when all the medical jargon and white coats started making him think about the Baron being in hospital, and he changed it to something about monster trucks.Â
He wasnât feeling much better by the time he finished the last beer. Thatâs when he noticed Zemoâs decanter of whiskey sitting on the coffee table.
*
Brock woke up to Alpine kneading his chest and meowing in his face. Who knew that kittens could be so loud? He opened his eyes slowly with a groan, the daylight stabbing his eyes.Â
âYou want food, right?â, he mumbled, getting up and stumbling into the kitchen. He fed her quickly and poured himself a glass of water and drank it down in one go. That was better, except his head was killing him.Â
He remembered Bucky had asked him to pack a bag with some of their things - clothes, books, one of Zemo's blankets so that he could have a familiar scent. He should've done that last night, but he could do that before he left for the hospital today.
As he grabbed a banana and began peeling it, his phone vibrated on the counter. He unlocked it to see that he had a bunch of unread messages and five missed calls from Bucky. All of them were asking where the hell Brock was.
That's when he realized that it was 16.30. He'd slept all day, and visiting hours were almost over.Â
"Shit!"
Rumlow grabbed the car keys and rushed out the door, and was pulling out of the driveway before he'd even caught his breath. Suddenly he found himself wondering if he was being tailed, if he'd managed to get away in time - old habits.Â
This isn't a getaway vehicle , he reminded himself, it was his mate's car and he was going to see his Omega who was in the hospital. It was almost an hour away, but he could make it if he drove fast. Which he did, at least as fast as he could without risking getting arrested. He was good at driving like this, but this was definitely faster than he knew was smart, hungover as he was and wired from adrenaline.Â
His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he kept his eyes on the road and let it go to voicemail. He knew that it was going to be Bucky again, because who else would it be?Â
"You're fucking this up," Brock muttered to himself angrily, pressing the accelerator to the floor. "Don't fuck this up, you need to be there. You need to show them that you care."
When he arrived at the hospital, he pulled into the parking lot faster than was probably wise and parked in the first empty space he could find. There definitely wasn't a lack of parking, but Brock tried not to think too much about that right now and hurried inside.Â
The reception area was brightly lit with fluorescent lights, and there were people sitting in the blue plastic chairs lining the walls.Â
There was a security guard at the door who looked Brock up and down suspiciously, but let him pass. Brock went straight to the desk where a tired looking middle aged woman was seated.
"Hi, I'm here to see someone."
"Visiting hours are over," she said in an unconcerned tone of voice.
Brock glanced anxiously at the clock. Five minutes past five.
"You'll have to come back tomorrow.'
"Please, I've gotta see him, he's my mate."
She pursed her lips. "It's hospital policy."
"Just a few minutes."
"There's nothing I can do."
Brock felt the presence of the security guard behind him. What the hell did they think he was gonna do?
Brock turned around. "You got a problem?"
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Why? What'd I do, huh?", Brock growled, taking a step towards him.
"You're drunk and you're harassing staff."
"No one's harassing anyone! I just want to see my mates!"
He made the mistake of turning, and trying to edge past the man, and that's when he grabbed his arm.Â
*
Bucky was sitting next to Zemo's bed trying to call their mate.
"He's not picking up," he said to Zemo, who was sitting propped up in bed against the pillows. He was a lot better than the day before, but he was starting to get a migraine and even though they'd dimmed the lights, he preferred to keep his eyes closed.Â
"Leave it, James," Zemo murmured. "He's not coming."
"He said he'd be here. What's gotten into him?"
Zemo sighed. "I don't know. I just want to sleep."
"Okay. Sorry."Â
Bucky felt a tightening sensation in the bond, and realised that their Alpha was close. It felt like he was really close, maybe just outside? He went over to the window and saw that their car was in the parking lot.Â
"I'll be back in a minute," he said.Â
"Mm. Turn the lights off."
"Okay."
Bucky walked out of the room and down the corridor. He felt something tangled and red, and he rushed into reception to see Brock grappling with the security guard.Â
"Oh fuck," he groaned, before stepping in to separate them.Â
He grabbed Brock and pinned his arms behind his back. "I'm with him," he said to the guard, who was panting and red in the face. "I got this."
Without waiting for a response, he forced Brock out the door with him. Bucky pinned his back against the wall where the Alpha snarled and twisted in his grip and Bucky tightened his hold on him. "Calm down," he said firmly. "And I'll let you go.'
"What the fuck?", Rumlow growled "Are you on their side?"
"There's no sides, Bones! You can't just go making a scene like that!"
"Let me go!"
"Are you gonna calm down and stop trying to fight people?"
Rumlow didn't say anything, but strained against him. They were close enough that Bucky felt his breath against his lips, his mate's breathing ragged. He could smell and taste the sour tang of alcohol on his breath. Bucky was reminded of the first time he'd entered Rumlow's apartment. How he'd pinned the Alpha against the wall just like this, their hips pressed together so that he could feel every strained movement. Rumlow was weakening now, calming down as he realized that he couldn't break free.
And then Brock's body stiffened, and he let out a frustrated whine and went completely still.
"Please," he whispered, hanging his head. "Let me see him."
Buck felt his temper peak. They'd been waiting all day for him, and he'd only cared to show up now that visiting hours were over.
"Where the hell were you?", he demanded. "I was calling you, texting you. Then you just decide to show up at the last minute?"
"Sorry," Brock mumbled. "Overslept."
"Because you stayed up all night drinking, ain't that right?"
Brock said nothing.Â
Still mad, Bucky said. "They're not gonna let you in now."
Brock nodded resignedly. "Yeah, I figured."
"Zemo was asking for you."
No reply.Â
Bucky turned to look over his shoulder. "You should probably go before they call the cops."
Rumlow nodded, and said in an uncharacteristically meek tone. "Okay."
Bucky frowned. "That's it?"
Rumlow said nothing, then turned and slinked back to the car. As he started the engine, Bucky approached and motioned for Brock to roll the window down.
âAre you safe to drive?â
âGot here, didnât I?â Brock hunched over awkwardly, refusing to look at his mate.
âThereâs a coffee bar two blocks over. Go and-â
âIâm fine!â Rumlow jammed the car into reverse, and pulled away, leaving Bucky standing alone, watching as he drove off.Â
What the hell had just happened?
*
âFuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,â Brock whispered under his breath, then yelled âFUCK!â, slamming his hands against the wheel. In his pants, his knot bulged stubbornly, hard and tight and throbbing.
Had Bucky noticed? The thought made Rumlow feel nauseous. What the hell was wrong with him? His body shouldnât be reacting like this - knotting was a sign of submission to other Alphas, not something you did for fucking Betas!Â
But I knotted for him before, he remembered. I knotted for Winter, in Kosovo-
âFUCK YOU!â Brock yelled as another driver honked their horn at him. He was weaving through traffic, desperate to get home as fast as possible, and find the only thing that could relieve him from this hell.
As he tore into their little neighbourhood, he was fixated on getting inside and getting to his lockbox. He was still speeding, and he swore loudly as he clipped the high curb, making the whole car bounce and scraping it against the road barrier.
Bucky was right, of course he was right, Iâm in no state to drive-
But he carried on, roaring up their driveway, throwing the car into park and jumping out. His knot still ached, firm and sore and desperate, and Brock needed it to stop. He had to give it what it wanted, but it couldnât be for Bucky!
In the basement now, Rumlow dragged out the lockbox and frantically spun the lock through the right combination. Jackâs birthday, Iâll never forget that.
He thrust aside the badges and medals, and for a second was terrified heâd lost it - but no, here it was. Momentarily calm, Brock held the little bottle of cologne up to the light. It was still about a quarter full of deep golden liquid.
It had taken him months to find it. Scruffy, burns still healing, half-drunk, he wasnât allowed into most high-class perfume stores. But by chance one night, heâd smelled it, that distinctive, rich, musky, cloying scent, in a bar. He could never forget that aroma, it was seared so deeply into him, deeper than his scars. Heâd let the man take him home, fucked him, knotted him tight. Then when he slept, Rumlow had raided his medicine cabinet, found the bottle and taken it.
DIOS. The bottle was shaped like a tower, and Brock ran his hands over it, letting the familiar shape of the glass soothe him. His knot throbbed urgently, and he took it in his palm through his pants and gave it a firm squeeze to take the edge off. He pulled the cap from the bottle, sprayed it a couple of times on his pillow, and lay down, burying his face into the scent.
Instantly, he was back there. When things were simple. When all he had to do was what he was told. When someone else was in control.
Pierce.
Brock was standing in the drill hall lined up with the others. The âAlpha Squadâ, as they called themselves. The eight active HYDRA operatives, and Pierce himself. It was an old boyâs club, but one you didnât need good breeding to be part of - you just needed the right blood. Alpha blood.
Theyâd been instructed to wear their collars. Black, tight collars, with plastic blocks that pressed into the glands on their necks. It felt so much easier to relax, to give himself over, when he was wearing it.
âWe all need reminding, now and then, just who is in charge,â Pierce said, as he walked along the line. âRumlow,â he said, pausing in front of Brock. âYou might be bonded, but who do you belong to?â
âYou, sir,â Brock said, standing up a little straighter and feeling that familiar stirring in his tac pants; the warmth of blood pooling as his knot began to inflate.
âThatâs right. And who does your mate belong to?â
âA-also you, sir.â
âVery good,â Pierce said, reaching up one hand and tugging a little on Rumlowâs collar.
 Brock got a long whiff of that scent, Alpha pheromones mixed with that expensive, musky cologne⌠And that tug on his collar, crushing his glands a little more⌠he couldnât help but softly gasp.
âHmm. Seems Iâve been neglecting you somewhat of late.â Brock shivered as his pack leader ran a calloused thumb over the fading bite mark on Brockâs neck. âPerhaps you could do with a little reminder.â
Brockâs knot was full now, reaching out to his pack leader, like it was desperate for approval. Pierce stepped forwards, and let the back of his hand slide against Brock's stomach as he eased it under his belt and into his pants. He spread his index and middle fingers apart, and hooked them just under that eager knot, and pulled upwards a little, gently but firmly. Then, he wrapped his thumb and other two fingers tightly around the bulge, squeezing and releasing in time with his pupâs natural throbbing.Â
That did it. The rest of Brockâs dick sprang into action, standing to attention, hard and prone. Rumlow knew heâd never be able to come while his knot was so tight, a biological cock-ring ensuring heâd stay compliant and submissive to his leader.
âGood boy,â Pierce said. âI know I can always rely on you to put on a good show.â He pulled his hand away, and turned to the other Alphas, who were watching attentively. âBrock here is demonstrating ideal Alpha submission. Heâs knotting for me. Do you understand the purpose of a submission knot? Mating rights. Youâre showing your leader youâre no threat, that he has the right to do whatever he wants with you - or your mate - and you wont stop him.â
Brock whined softly, his cheeks burning.
âBut even the most apparently obedient pup needs some discipline now and then.â Pierce nodded, and the two Alphas either side of Brock grabbed him suddenly, forcing his arms up behind his back and shoving him to his knees.
âHey!â Brock started, but his knot flared and he fell silent. If this is what his pack leader wanted, he had to give it. He HAD to.
Pierce walked behind him, and Brock heard his knees click as he crouched. âIn your most recent field operation, what level of physical contact were you cleared for with my Asset?â
âF-four, sir.â
âFour. Thatâs right. Remind me what that means.
âPhysicalâŚâ He groaned as one of the other alphas forced his arm further up his back. âPhysical affection, sexual contact using⌠using hands-â
âHmm. And where did it say you could fuck my Asset, Rumlow?â
âIt didnât-â
âBut for some reason, that didnât stop you, did it?â Pierce leaned in so close that Brock could feel his breath on the back of his neck, and that smell, that familiar scent, filled his nose. His dick leaked pathetically, still hard, still knotted so tight Rumlow could barely think of anything else. He choked back a moan as his pack leader unclipped his collar and tossed it aside.
âSo you knew you were disobeying me,â Pierce was almost whispering now, and instinctively Brock bared his neck, pushing those little glands under the skin close to his Pack Leaderâs mouth.
Pierceâs tongue darted out for a second and touched him, then he leaned in and bit down. Helplessly Brock whined, but he didnât fight - he let Pierce claim him, chomping down on his neck gland like he could rip it out if he wanted. The two other alphas released their grip and Brock fell forwards, and Piece leaned over him, pinning his arms down now, teeth still lodged in Rumlowâs neck.
And then everything became calm. Brock hadnât realized he was struggling, but he felt himself fall limp. There was nothing now, nothing except his knot pounding in his pants, the bite, the weight of his pack leader pinning him down, grounding him, keeping him safe. He took deep breaths, letting the calmness rush over him. He wasnât even aware of the other alphas in the room, gathered around now, watching.
Pierce eventually released his bite and began grooming Brockâs bleeding neck, his soft tongue lapping at his neck glands with a gentleness, an affection almost. As he did this he reached around Brockâs body, and once again slid his hands into his pants, and took hold of his knot in that wonderful, perfect grip, and began to massage it.
The rush of hormones to Brockâs brain never failed. His pack leader was rewarding him for his submission. It felt incredible, it felt wrong, it felt perfect. Brock tried to stay present, not lose himself in this moment - even though the only part of himself he could feel with right now was his cock. He focused on the way his pulse bumped against Pierce's wedding ring as those fingers stroked him to the edge of climax.
âRelease for me,â Pierce whispered. âGood boy. Let go for me now. â
Brock buried his face into the pillow and howled as he came, his knot relaxing enough to allow his orgasm to spill through. He bucked his hips, whining and gasping, and collapsed into his makeshift bed with a defeated growl.
âIâm the Alpha now,â he said out loud, rolling onto his back. â Me. Theyâre meant to submit to ME!â
He thought again about how Bucky had pinned him, told him off, dominated him. It wasnât fair. That was the role of an alpha. How dare Bucky think he could take it from him?
It happened before, in Kosovo-
Alpine stuck her head around the basement door, and mewed softly.Â
âYouâre hungry again?â Brock asked with a huff. âI fed you today already! Fine. Iâm coming.â
 *
Please donât show up drunk again.
Brock didnât know how to reply to that, so he didnât. He hadnât meant to, of course not, and he felt a hot stab of shame in his gut at the thought of his pack lea- at Bucky , seeing him like that.
He looked around at the unwashed dishes that had been left out because he hadnât cleaned up since his mates had been staying in the hospital. At the counters that needed a clean, the dishwasher that needed unloading, the trash that needed taking out.Â
His hand curled tighter around the mug of coffee he was forcing himself to drink. He had shit to do if the Baron was (hopefully) coming home tomorrow. He was their Alpha, he needed to show that he was responsible. His Omega was gonna come home, and he wanted everything to be perfect for him. Everything was gonna be fine. Yeah.
âJust keep telling yourself that, Rumlow,â he mumbled to himself as he began putting the clean dishes away
Once he was done, he went upstairs to his mateâs bedroom and began to change the sheets on the bed. The sweet scent of sickness clung to the cotton, and he quickly tossed those into the laundry hamper and pulled out some fresh ones from the linen cupboard in the hallway. His phone vibrated in his pocket just as heâd finished making the bed, and pulled it out and flopped down on the mattress. Expecting a text from Bucky, he was surprised to see that he was calling him, and Brock felt his stomach dip.
Come on, youâre their Alpha! Donât be so fucking nervous!Â
He tapped âacceptâ. âHello?â
âBrock?â
Rumlow relaxed at the sound of his Omegaâs voice. âHey Baron, you doinâ okay?â
âIâm much better now, yes. Iâve been told that I should be able to come home tomorrow.â
âYeah, Bucky said,â Brock replied, nervously twisting the fringe of one of Zemoâs blanketâs between his fingers. âListen, Iâm sorry I couldnât make it today. I fucked up.â
âItâs fine. I had a migraine anyway, so I wouldnât have been able to talk very much.â
âYou sure youâre okay to come home?â, Brock asked.
âYes, apparently itâs a common side-effect of dehydration. Nothing to worry about.â
âStill should have been there with you.â
âDonât worry, weâll see each other tomorrow.â
Brock sighed. âYeah, I guess.â
âI miss you.â
Brock felt his hand pounding in his chest. An eternity seemed to pass before he said, â...miss you too.â
âWhat are you doing right now?â
âLyinâ on your bed. I was cleaning up some. Want things to be nice for you when you come home.â
âYou didnât have to do that, but I appreciate it.â
Brock shook his head. âDonât want you to worry about nothinâ, Baron. Iâm gonna look after you when youâre back home.â
âWell, it will be nice for someone else to cook for once.â
âCanât promise itâll be that gourmet shit you like, but Iâm sure I can fix somethinâ. I used to take care of Winter all the time when he wasâŚanyway. Is Bucky there?â
âNo, heâs gone to find a vending machine. He canât stand the processed texture of the meals here.â
Brock sat bolt upright. âHe left you alone?!â
He heard Zemo sigh. âIâm perfectly fine, Brock.â
âReally? Are you sure? If you need Alpha hormones or anything, I can always drive back-â
âNo,â Zemo said quickly. âJust stay there. I really am okay, you donât need to come and rescue me.â
âBut-â
âJust go to sleep, moj tigric.â
âOkay, fine.â
âI will see you in the morning. I love you.â
â...âÂ
Youâre not saying anything! Brock thought desperately as the silence dragged on. You need to say something!
â...okayseeyoutomorrowbye!â, he blurted, before quickly hanging up the phone. Then he collapsed back on the bed with a groan.Â
What are you, a fucking teenager?, he thought. Heâs your mate for Christ's sake! Why canât you just say it back?
But heâd never been good at that stuff. Emotions, saying how you felt; especially not to people you cared about. It wasnât safe, back in HYDRA. It made you vulnerable, weak. Heâd never even said those words to Winter. Never.Â
Winter looking up at him with his big blue eyes full of pure adoration. âI love you, Sir.âÂ
Forget about him, forget about all of that, Brock thought, feeling a lump in his throat. Heâs gone.Â
Then, I wish Iâd told him.
Brock buried his face in the blanket, inhaling his Omegaâs familiar scent.
Iâm gonna do better from now on, he thought as his eyes began to close. Be a good Alpha, a good pack leader. Nothinâ like PierceâŚ
*
Brock made sure to get there on time the next day, exactly as Bucky had told him. He wanted to show that he could be reliable; that they could trust him. And he really wanted to see his Omega. He stayed inside the car to wait in case the security spotted him and decided to cause trouble. It wasnât long before his mates appeared at the entrance, and Brockâs eyes instantly went to Zemo. His mate still looked pale and unwell, but he walked over to the car without any trouble. Brock got out and caught him in a hug. Heâd been so worried, but now he was safe in arms. When Zemo nuzzled against his neck, Brock let out a breath he hadnât known heâd been holding.
Zemo looked up at him with a smile. âMoj TigricĚ.â
Brock managed to smile back at him. âHey Baron. You feelinâ better?â
Zemo nodded. âYes, but Iâd like to go home now. I still need to rest.â
âThey said he needs to stay in bed for a couple of days,â Bucky said.
Brock looked down at the ground, avoiding his gaze. âUh huh.â
He still couldnât bring himself to meet his eyes after yesterday, and there was an awkward silence before Zemo broke the tension by opening the back door of the car and sliding into the seat.
âGuess we should go,â Brock mumbled, turning to open the door.
âWait.â
Brock froze with his hand on the door. âWhat?â
âIâll drive.â
â...fine.â
Maybe he noticed the scrape I put on it yesterdayâŚÂ
He couldnât believe heâd given in to the Beta again, but he tried to push the thought away as he climbed into the back next to Zemo. At least back here I can guard him and get my scent on himâŚ
He wrapped an arm around him and buried his face in Zemoâs neck, inhaling his sweet Omega scent that was still tinged with the smell of hospital.Â
Zemo chuckled weakly as Brock began enthusiastically grooming him. âYou missed me?â
âUh huh,â Brock said. âNot gonna let anyone take you away again.â
And he really meant it. He was the Alpha, the pack leader, so he had to start acting like it. He wasnât going to let anyone get between and separate them ever again.Â
Bucky angled the mirror and glanced back at them. âYou okay back there?â
âYes, James,â Zemo murmured. âIâm just going to take a little nap.â
*
When they arrived back home, Bucky parked the car and got out. When he opened the door to the backseat, Brock glared at him and bared his teeth in a little growl. Bucky took a step back in surprise. He noticed that Zemo was asleep in the back, his head lolling on the Alphaâs shoulder.
âWe should probably get him inside,â Bucky said.
Brock gave a curt nod. âIâll do it.âÂ
He gently jostled Zemo awake, and the Baron climbed sleepily out of the car after him.Â
Buckyâs heart sank as he watched the Alpha steer their mate towards the house. Brock was clearly still upset and angry with him after the fight theyâd had yesterday. Which made sense; they hadnât really had time to talk about everything and make up. Heâd just been so busy looking after Zemo, that he hadnât really had the time to make sure that Brock was okay too. And, if he was being honest with himself, he was still embarrassed and mad that Brock had missed visiting hours, driven drunk to the hospital, and then started a fight when they wouldnât let him up to see Zemo.Â
Entering the house, he was greeted by Alpine meowing at him for attention and scooped her up to give her some attention. He brought her up the stairs to their bedroom, where Brock and Zemo had disappeared to.Â
Zemo was already lying in bed, apparently exhausted from the journey, while Brock fussed around him.
âThe doctors say he need anything?â, the Alpha asked, arranging the pillows.
Bucky set Alpine down on the bed and she went over to Zemo and curled up next to him. âPlenty of fluids and-â
âOn it!â, Brock said, jumping up and pushing past him to the en suite bathroom. He was back a moment later with a glass of water which he set down on the nightstand. âAnything else?â
âUm, yeah. He needs Alpha hormones, so if you can just lie close to him and let him cuddle youâŚâ
âWell, Iâm an Alpha so thatâs no problem,â Brock said, lying down next to their mate. Zemo stirred in his sleep and snuggled up against him. âAnything else?â
âYeah, anti-nausea medication if heâs still feeling sick when he wakes up, but thatâs about it.â
Brock nodded. âOkay, well I guess you can go then.â
Bucky frowned at him. âWhat?â
âI got this.â
âThis is my bedroom too.â
Brock glared at him, drawing an arm protectively around Zemo. âI said: I got this. Iâm gonna take care of him now.â
Bucky sighed. âFine. Guess Iâll sleep in your room tonight.â
âFine by me.â
This is okay. I knew he was still mad at me, Bucky thought as he turned to leave. He didnât have the energy for another fight- argument, whatever. Theyâd sort things out when Zemo was better. It would be fine.Â
Right?Â
Right.Â
He just had to keep telling himself that until he believed it.Â
*
Chapter Text
*
Zemo woke up to the sound of knocking at the bedroom door. He'd been sleeping fitfully, body oscillating between sweating and shivering. It wasn't as bad as it had been, but it was still uncomfortable and hard to regulate his body temperature. Especially without his mates in the same room as him. He'd thought they would both stay with him, but neither of them were here.
The knocking came again, the sound making his head throb, and he groaned and burrowed deeper into the bed. If he just kept lying in the dark, maybe everything would stop spinning. Wishful thinking, perhaps.
He heard the handle turn and sensed his Alpha approach. "Hey Baron, it's lunchtime so I made you some soup."
Zemo sighed reluctantly and pulled himself upright. "Can you put it on the nightstand please?"
"Sure," Brock said, putting it down and watching him expectantly. "My Nonna always used to make this for us whenever any of us were sick, and then my Pops always made it too."
It looked like minestrone, and though Zemo would usually find the smell delicious, right now the idea of eating anything that wasn't plain turned his stomach.Â
Zemo realized that Brock was waiting for him to eat it. "It looks good," he said. "But I need to take medication first."
Brock nodded quickly. "Sure, no problem. Here." He handed the packet to Zemo.Â
I'd much rather go back to sleep, Zemo thought. But he supposed he should probably try and eat something, at least.
Popping two of the small white capsules from the packet, he swallowed them quickly with a gulp of water so as not to taste the bitterness of their coating.Â
"It will take a while for them to take effect," Zemo said, when Brock continued to watch him. "Why don't you come in here with me?"
His Alpha hummed appreciatively and climbed into the bed, cuddling up close to him.Â
Zemo took a deep breath, taking in his mate's familiar scent and feeling his body relax.Â
"This what you need, Baron?", Brock asked
"Mmm, yes," Zemo murmured in agreement, nuzzling gently against the scent glands on his neck. "Where's James?"
He felt Brock stiffen. "Don't worry about it."
"I want him here too. Where is he?"
Brock huffed and shifted against him. "Said something about taking a look at the car."
"What's wrong with the car?"
"Nothing! I mean, it's not bad. JustâŚput a dent in it. Nothing that can't be fixed, so don't worry about it."
"James said you were drunk when you came to the hospital yesterday."
Brock was silent for a long moment before he eventually said. "Yeah, so what?"
"I was worried about you. We both were."
The Alpha sat up and turned away from him. "Don't want you worrying about me, Baron. You're sick, you should focus on getting better."
Then don't give me cause to worry, thought Zemo, though he didn't say it aloud. Instead he said. "I am. But there's little I can do except rest."
"How're you feelin'?"
"Still tired, nauseous, and feverish. But a little better." He took Brock's hand. "Could you go and get James? Having him here would help a lot."
The Alpha gave him a long look before saying "Okay. If that's what you want."
He sounds hurt, Zemo thought. But why?
"I want you too, of course," Zemo said quickly.
"Yeah, I know."
"Well, good."
He really didn't understand what the problem was. Had he and James still not spoken after their fight yesterday? Was that why Brock was acting so strangely?
*
"He's asking for you," Brock grunted, gesturing in the direction of the house.
Bucky nodded. "Okay, but can we talk first?"
"Fine."
"I just wanted to say, I don't care that you made a scene at the hospital. That doesn't matter. But it hurt that you couldn't be there. And I know the drinking thingâŚit's not your fault, but I'm worried about you."
"It's not a big deal," Brock mumbled.Â
"I get that you don't wanna talk about it, but we're here for you if you want help."
Brock shook his head. "I don't need help."
"...Okay. Well, that's up to you. Is there anything you want to say to me?"
"Yeah, maybe you should mind your own business. And maybe you should have let me stay with my mate, then none of this would have happened."
"Come on, you know that wasn't possible."
"How would you have felt, if it had been you that had to leave, huh? Oh wait, that's never gonna happen because you're the one who's his 'official' mate, not me."
"We both know that's bullshit."
"Yeah, except when it counts!", Brock shouted. "And you're not his Alpha, I am!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means, I'm the one who's supposed to take care of him." Brock snarled, turning away from him and back towards the house.
*
Zemo had been staring at the bowl of minestrone for the last few minutes, but every time he picked up the spoon he felt his stomach clench. With a resigned sigh, he set the bowl back on the nightstand and took a careful sip of water instead.Â
He heard footsteps on the stairs and then Brock reappeared, an angry expression on his face.
Zemo felt James's hurt and confusion, so he gathered that they must have had an argument.
Brock closed the door behind him he asked. "You had your soup yet?"
"No, I can't eat it right now. Maybe later."
"Fine," Brock said, in a tone which definitely did not sound fine. Zemo watched as he began pacing back and forth in front of the door.
"Did you see James?"
"Uh huh."
Maybe he needs a moment to calm down, Zemo thought, as the Alpha paced restlessly. But usually he goes to the basement, or down to the beach.Â
He turned over with a sigh so that his back was to the Alpha pacing.Â
"What's that supposed to mean?", Brock snapped.
"Hm?"
"You want him instead, is that it?"
Well, if you're going to be like this, Zemo thought.Â
"Brock," he said, sitting up. âIf youâre going to be here, I need you to be calm.â
"Whaddaya mean?", Brock said gesturing to himself. "I'm calm."
âYouâre notâ Zemo said, gesturing for him to sit next to him. âCome here.â Instead, the Alpha climbed on top of him and pulled off his shirt with a growl.Â
Oh, thatâs not what I meant, Zemo thought, as the weight of Brockâs body pressed him down and his mate kissed him possessively. But this isnât so badâŚ
Brock was messier than usual, kisses turning into licking and grooming as he moved down to Zemoâs neck. The Alpha was making little growling sounds, and Zemo felt Brockâs cock hardening against his thigh. Zemo was surprised to feel his own responding quickly and gasped as a wave of arousal went through him. Brock began to grind against him desperately, still wearing his shorts, and Zemo bucked his hips up to meet him. The rubbing of his briefs against his cock was too much, but he couldnât so much as wriggle to pull them off with his mate pressing down with the full weight of his body on him like this. He wanted to beg Brock to pull them off and touch him, or at least let him touch himself, but Brock didnât seem to have noticed, so Zemo had no choice but to let his mate press him back into the mattress and chase every little sensation created by his Alpha.
He gasped in surprise when Brock sank his teeth into his neck, flooding his body with the intoxicating arousal that Zemo always felt when a sensation was just on the edge of being too much for him to take.
The Alpha wants me so much, he thought. He wants to claim meâŚ
The realization turned him on even more and he kissed his mate passionately, pressing his hips up in his need. Zemo could feel that he was getting wet for his mate, his body preparing him to be fucked and knotted. But Brock was rutting against him hard and fast now, like he was already too far gone to think about actually fucking him.
The surge of arousal was building and building with every thrust of his hips, and Zemo gasped as precum leaked needily from the head of his cock. Zemo looked up at Brockâs eyes which were dark and feral, and tried to communicate the intensity of his need to be claimed through the bond.Â
He gasped as Brock pressed his hands down on either side of his head, and Zemo offered his neck instinctively in submission.Â
âIâm yours,â Zemo panted. âJust fuck me, please, I need itâŚâ
He felt slick leaking through his briefs, his body so ready to be mated, but he was held in place, kept needy and unfilled by his Alpha.
Does he want me to beg for his cock? Zemo thought desperately, Because I will. Iâm not ashamed.Â
Suddenly he felt his mateâs presence in the bond, almost overwhelming, and then his Alpha was biting down on the other side of his neck so hard that Zemo almost blacked out.
âFuck!â he cried out, âGive it to me Alpha, please give me your cock!â
He wanted to beg Brock to pull down his boxers and touch him, he felt like he was coming apart beneath his mate's touch, but he no longer had the words to communicate.
âSo close,â Brock groaned. âIâm gonna-â
The door opened, and Zemo turned his head to see Bucky standing in the doorway.
Brock groaned, a guttural sound and Zemo felt his cock twitch and his knot swell as he pressed it against his thigh. ButâŚhe was sure Brock hadnât cum yet?
âWhat the hell are you doing to him?â
âFuck off,â Brock growled, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes.
Zemo sat up slowly, his head spinning. âJames-â
Bucky took his hand and pulled him up and led him to the en suite bathroom, closing the door behind them.
Zemo sat down on the edge of the tub, woozy and disorientated. The feeling of deja vu came over him as Bucky handed him a wet washcloth, and he was jolted back to the moment when Bucky had separated him from his Alpha soon after theyâd bonded. It was unfair and it hurt, and he wanted to go back into the bedroom to be with his mateâŚ
But this was their home, not Brockâs seedy apartment.Â
âNo, thatâsâŚâ Zemo shook his head, pushing the washcloth away. âI donât want that.â
Bucky knelt in front of him on the tile. âHe bit you hard, Zemo.â
âSo make it better.â
âYou want me toâŚâ
âYes.â
Bucky sighed. âIf youâre sure.â
Bucky bent his head to his neck and began grooming the bites. Zemo tilted his neck back with a sigh of relief. But as much as he loved James, right now he wanted to go back and be with his other mate- no , he wanted both of them! And why shouldnât he? Couldnât they put whatever their problem was aside for the moment?Â
He felt the heady rush of hormones flooding his body as his mate licked at his throat. He could feel Jamesâs fear and confusion through the bond, but the emotions didnât flow into his own, so caught up was he in the sensation. It was almost hypnotic, and he felt his eyes drifting closed.
âHey, are you okay?â, Bucky asked gently, pulling back.Â
âMm, yes. It feels good, but I would like to go back to the bedroom now.â
âOkay, but Iâm staying with you.â
âI donât want you both arguing.â
âThen heâll have to go.â
âNo, heâs knotted. And besides, I want to be with him.â
Bucky stood up and wrung the washcloth out in the sink. âI saw how rough he was with you,â he said after a moment. âHe should know better than to treat you like that.â
âI enjoyed it, James,â Zemo said. âBut maybe thatâs not something you can understand.â
â...Maybe not, and maybe thatâs my problem,â Bucky admitted. âBut youâre sick right now. You need taking care of. Not that .â
âFine. I take your point. But please donât be angry with him. Even if you think it was irresponsible, it wasnât anything I didnât want.â
âItâs not just that, Zemo; itâs how heâs been acting the last few days. I guess itâs making me question⌠things.â
Zemo tilted his head to one side. âFor instance?â
âI donât know how much I trust him. I thought I could, but heâs reckless. Impulsive.â Bucky sighed and shook his head. âI donât know where Iâm going with this. I guess Iâm just worried.â
Zemo stood up and took his hand. âPlease donât, James. Iâm alright now, and as for Brock, well, I think he found it hard being separated from me like that.â
âI guess, maybe. But heâs angry with me, and seems like he thinks Iâm trying to take you from him.â
âWell, maybe you should talk?â
âIâve tried.â
âSo, try again.â
âOkay, yeah, fine. Maybe youâre right.â
âBut can you do it some other time? I just want to spend some time with him right now.â
âIf youâre sure.â He leaned in to kiss Zemo on the cheek, and then softly on the lips. âIâll see you later.â
*
Zemo came back into the bedroom and lay down on the bed next to their mate.
Brock, who had been lying on his back in a daze, turned onto his side and put an arm over Zemo. âYouâre mine, Omega,â he murmured, stroking Zemoâs back.Â
Zemo moved closer so that their bodies were pressed together. âYes, I am.â
âYouâre my mate. Gonna keep you here nice ân safe. Take care of you.â The Alpha leaned in and sniffed Zemo.
âYou smell like him,â growled disapprovingly.
âWell, yes. James was grooming me.â
âSo he just thinks he can come in here and take you from me?â
Zemo sighed. âHeâs our mate, Brock. No one is taking me away from you. I really think you should talk to him and resolveâŚwhatever this is between you.â
Brock grunted in acknowledgment but didnât say anything.
A moment later Brockâs eyes widened as he noticed the bites on Zemoâs neck.
âOh fuck, Iâm sorry.â
Zemo shook his head. âNo, I didnât mind.â
âYouâre sick, I shouldnât be-â he broke off, and pulled away from him. âIâm so fucking sorry.â
âItâs okay, really,â Zemo said calmly. âYou donât need to be. I was surprised at first, but thatâs all. I think you just got a little carried away.â
âI should go. I donât- you need to rest.â
âNo, stay,â Zemo said. âStay with me now, please.â
Brock sat back down on the bed, but avoided his gaze.
âThis isnât the first time something like this has happened,â Zemo said. âWe should really discuss boundaries, and aftercare.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, that I enjoyed it but I didnât realize that seeing marks on me would upset you.â
âIâm not- thatâs not it. I just shouldnât have lost it like that.â
âYou didnât âlose itâ, at least from my perspective.â
âDonât wanna talk about this no more, Baron.â
âOkay, well. I just want you to know that you didnât hurt me.â
Careful not to cause his Omega any more pain, Brock ran a thumb lightly over one of the bites. He shuddered, remembering the tooth marks he used to bear on his own neck, long since replaced with the cross-cross of his burn scars that ran down his body. Pierce was his pack leader - it was his right to mark his pack.
And if Iâm their pack leader, I guess I need to mark them too.
That made him think of Winter, of biting into his powerful shoulders and hearing that perfect, delicious whine he always used to make as he knotted for him. ButâŚhe was a Beta and Betas couldn't knot, so why was his brain torturing him with the image of Bucky begging Brock to let him release his throbbing, tender knot?
God, that moment when your pack leader gave you permission to just let goâŚthere was nothing like itâŚ
Rumlow felt dread coiling in his stomach, along with arousal.Â
As much he loved to imagine Bucky submitting to him⌠Bucky hadnât . At the hospital he'd restrained him easily and pinned Brock against the wall like it was nothing.Â
The one time you tried to fight a supersoldier, you lost. And that was with a whole STRIKE team behind you. What makes you think you'd stand a chance against Bucky in a real fight?
Brock heard a small, plaintive whine escape his throat.
No, I donât want to fight him! Of course I donât. Bucky is my mate, I'd never do anything to hurt him, itâs justâŚwe need to establish our roles in the pack. I need Bucky to know that Iâm the Alpha, which means I have to be the pack leader.Â
He guarded his mates, had first mating rights and they had to do what he told them, for their own good.Â
And now he was here, holding their Omega close, just like he wanted -but only because Bucky let him do that. It shouldnât be like that⌠he should be telling Bucky what he was allowed to do, not the other way round!
Zemo let out a little groan as he drifted on the edge of sleep, and Rumlow shushed him softly, and cradled him against his chest.
Iâm not allowed this , Brock thought. His instincts told him his pack was unstable. He shouldnât be having these moments of calm while one of his pack was out there, ready to come in any moment and pull them apart -Â
âHe loves you,â Zemo mumbled softly. âRelax, moj tigric .â
Brock clenched his jaw, but didnât reply. He didnât want to worry his Omega more than he already had. Youâre failing , a voice in his head said. Youâre not making him feel safe, not at all. Youâre just making it worse.
He thought about the knot. It happened again . Just like back at the hospital, when Bucky had restrained him. But this time, just from Bucky walking in on him and Zemoâs foreplay. Pierceâs voice echoed in his head. Do you understand the purpose of a submission knot? Mating rights. Youâre showing your leader youâre no threat, that he has the right to do whatever he wants with you - or your mate - and you wonât stop him.â
Thatâs what submissive packmates did. Not Pack Leaders, Brock thought anxiously. But Iâm the Alpha. I have to be the Pack Leader. Thatâs how it works, right?
And if I canât be a strong Pack Leader for themâŚthen why am I even here?
Zemo interrupted his thoughts by nuzzling against his neck and sighing softly. Brock squirmed to try to make them both more comfortable. But, as he did so, he caught the scent of Bucky still lingering in Zemoâs hair, and instinctively he tensed all over.
Zemo rolled over, turning his back to Brock and tugging the covers over himself, and let out a soft snore.
*
Bucky was seated cross-legged on the living room rug, trying to meditate. The thoughts in his head were loud, and he felt tired and frustrated by everything going on with Brock. Part of him was glad that he could be on his own now, because he'd been doing nothing but dealing with his mate's problems for the last few days.
Not that it was Zemo's fault he was sick. Bucky just needed some time alone to decompress.
And after all that, you still haven't resolved things with Brock, he thought.Â
But maybe they just needed a break from each other. A little space while Brock worked out whatever insecurities he was having. Being away from Zemo had clearly affected him a lot, and Bucky wondered if it was because their bond was still so new. Zemo had said that it was difficult to be apart in the first year, but that it got easier over time. Bucky didn't remember that time in his own life in any kind of linear way, so he had no comparison.Â
Brock was also angry that he wasn't Zemo's mate legally, and that would probably cause problems in the future if anything like this happened again. They'd have to look into what their options were once everything was back to normal. Whatever 'normal' for them turned out to be.
Then there was the other thing. Brock's Alpha behaviours seemed totally out of control. Even though Bucky was, according to Zemo, naturally leaned towards the Alpha end of the spectrum, he was still a Beta. He'd always got on well with Alphas, but he didn't instinctively understand their behaviour or their pack dynamics. When he'd been with Steve, he'd been more than happy to explain all that stuff to Bucky, because Steve himself had had to learn them later in life after the serum made him present.Â
Rumlow, however, barely seemed to understand himself and couldn't explain much beyond saying that he needed to take care of Zemo. Which apparently meant guarding him possessively right now.Â
"What's going on with you, Brock?", Bucky murmured to himself "Why are you being like this, after everything we've been through?"
Unable to concentrate on meditating, Bucky got up and sat on the couch next to Alpine, who was curled up in a ball asleep. He stroked her with one hand and she started purring, and with the other he texted Brock.
What's going on, Bones? Are you mad at me? It's ok if you are, I just want to know.Â
Â
Bucky sighed.Â
I'm not going to do anything, I promise. Nothing bad is going to happen. Just look after Zemo and I'll see you in the morning, ok?Â
A few seconds later, Brock replied. Ok.Â
That wasn't very reassuring, but Bucky figured that they could talk properly tomorrow when Brock had calmed down. In the meantime, he decided to go to bed, try to catch up on his sleep and try not to worry about his mates.
*
The next morning, Brock awoke to an empty bed. For a moment, he panicked - but then he realised the ensuite shower was running, and he could even hear the Baron humming contentedly as he washed. Rumlow collapsed back against the pillows with a huff.Â
A few minutes later, Zemo emerged, draping his bathrobe around himself.Â
âHow are you feeling?â Brock asked.
âA little better, moj tigric ," Zemo said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "The sleep helped a lot."
âGetting those good Alpha hormones you need, huh?â
âI suppose,â Zemo shrugged. âMy appetite is returning, in any case.â
âRight,â Brock pulled himself out of the bed. âWant me to go fix you some breakfast?â
âActually, if you could - I have a particular craving. The Sokovian bakery in town makes breakfast sweets I am fond of. PlÄcintÄ.â
âPla-chin-what?â
âLet me write it down for you. Make sure you get the sweet ones, not savoury. Six should be enough for a good breakfast for us.â
âThree each, got it.â
âHmm.â Zemo tore out the page of his notebook heâd written on, and handed it to his Alpha.
âNow stay here,â Brock instructed as he pulled on yesterdayâs clothes. âGot it?â
âOf course, moj tigric. Of course.â
 *
Brock jogged to the bakery as fast as he could, and handed the note over to the old woman behind the counter. She looked him up and down curiously after reading the note.
âBaron Zemo, he is sick?â, she asked.
âYeah,â Brock said. âBut heâs getting better.â
âYou are husband?â
âNo! Well⌠I guess? Listen lady, can I just get the plachinnies and-â
She cut him off, yelling over her shoulder to the kitchen. âWait now please,â she said, turning back to Brock, and walked away.
Rumlow stood anxiously, tapping his foot and looking around at the customers enjoying their morning coffees at the little tables. He thought of Zemo, hungry and alone, in bed, shivering, wondering when his Alpha would returnâŚ
âHere.â The woman was back, and she handed Brock two large paper bags. âFor Baron Zemo,â she explained. âWith his husbands.âÂ
âIâm not - what?â What the hell did Zemo write in that note? âUh, how much do I owe you?â
âGift, gift. For Baron Zemo.â
âUhh, thanks,â Brock mumbled, grabbing the bags and heading home. They were far too heavy to jog with, so he walked as fast as he could, thoughts of his Omega suffering without him still filling his mind.
*
As he got closer to their house, Brock felt something. A little nudge in his brain, some kind of spark. For a moment, he felt like he was already back in bed with Zemo, kissing him, smoothing down his soft hairâŚ
Quickly, Brock let himself in and tossed the bags down in their hallway, taking the stairs two at a time. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong, he could feel it -Â
- the bedroom he and Zemo had spent the night in was empty. Brockâs blood ran cold as he ripped open the door of the en suite and found it empty.
"Fuck!â Heâd been gone less than an hour, and already heâd managed to lose his Omega!
What kind of a Pack Leader are you?
Iâve lost him! Heâs gone, I can't feel him anywhere, somethingâs happened to him -
He bolted into the hallway and burst into the little room he had been using as a bedroom - and froze.Â
There was Zemo. Lying on the bed next to him . Bucky was holding the Omega the same way Brock had, all night. Instinct made Rumlow's body bristle, and he let out a low growl of warning.
âBrock, youâre back,â Zemo said with a smile.
âGet out!â Brock snapped, his eyes fixed on Bucky.
â Tigric, James and I-â
âGet back to our room, Baron."
Bucky glared straight at Brock who forced himself to meet his gaze. âDonât talk to him like that.â
âHe doesnât belong to you, asshole," Brock growled.Â
âHe doesnât belong to you either,â Bucky said coldly, and as he shifted, Brock heard the sound of his mechanical arm tensing.Â
Brock didnât want to fight. He knew he couldnât win - not against a super soldier with a vibranium arm - but it ran deeper than that. This was his mate ; the man heâd been bonded to his entire adult life. He didnât want to hurt Bucky⌠but if he wouldnât back down? He wouldn't have a choice. He was the Alpha, he needed to take chargeâŚ
âStop this, the both of you,â Zemo sighed, sliding out of the bed covers. âThereâs no need for all this posturing. Didnât you get us some breakfast, Brock? If I go back to the other bedroom, could you bring me some?â
Brock nodded as Helmut walked past him. Bucky watched them both cautiously.
âDonât get between us,â Rumlow growled.
Bucky said nothing, but his gaze was unwavering, and Brock turned away with a scowl.
*
By the evening, the scent of Alpha was thick as molasses in the bedroom. Zemo sniffed the air, wrinkling his nose slightly as he wriggled against Brock's grip. He had the suspicion that the Alpha was deliberately trying to cover him in his scent, from the way he kept rubbing his glands against him and licking him, growling whenever Zemo tried to pull away. At first he'd thought that his mate had simply missed him while he'd been in the hospital, but after the argument earlier that had nearly escalated into a fight between his mates, Zemo didn't know what to think.Â
It's like he doesn't know James is his mate, Zemo thought wearily. Perhaps he can't feel him in the bond, orâŚI don't know. But he's acting as if James is going to seperate us.
The whole situation was frustrating and confusing, and Zemo simply felt too exhausted to act as the go-between. His mates would have to sort out their issues themselves for once. Surely they could manage that? He just needed to restâŚ
Luckily, Brock seemed to be on the same page as him, and had stayed in bed with him all day. Zemo had requested books, food, and his laptop, which Brock had fetched without complaint, and he seemed perfectly content as long as Zemo didn't leave the bed. Not that Zemo had particularly wanted to leave, he was still recovering, after all, but the insistence on it was getting tiresome.
And now Zemo definitely felt well enough to go down stairs and lie on the couch, or even sit on the porch to get some fresh air for a while. The familiarity of the gifts from the Sokovian bakery - all kinds of pastries, cakes and cookies - had helped, though Zemo could still stomach very little.
When Brock went to the bathroom, promising to be right back, Zemo swung his legs out of bed and walked over to the window a little unsteadily. He opened the window wide, feeling the cold breeze on his flushed, sweaty skin. He'd been watching the sky darken for the last hour, and now it seemed the sun had finally set. It felt like the long, hot summer was finally coming to an end.Â
"What are you doing?"
Zemo turned to face his mate. Brock was watching him suspiciously from the doorway of the bathroom. Did the Alpha think he was going to attempt to climb out of the window? Or perhaps he was worried about someone getting in?
Zemo shook his head dismissively. "Nothing, just thinking."
Brock came over and closed the window. "Scent's escapin'. Come back to bed, Baron. You want me to get you some more food?"
Zemo took a seat on the edge of the bed. He still didn't have much of an appetite, but what he really wanted was some time alone, which he would get if Brock went to make them dinner.Â
"Yes, I suppose so," Zemo answered. "Thank you. Something more than these sweets.â
Brock got up, pulling on a black tank top and one of the pairs of the cargo shorts he was so fond of. When he was done, he came over to Zemo and leaned over him. Zemo held still while the Alpha inhaled his scent, making sure that his own was sufficiently covering him, then with a satisfied huff he pulled back. âThereâs soup leftover, so Iâll just heat that up.â
âOh. Lovely.â
Once the Alpha was out of the room, Zemo went back to the window and opened it wide to get some fresh air. Heâd intended to return to the bed, but instead he felt restless and began pacing the room agitatedly. Brockâs behaviour had been making him more stressed than heâd realized, and he needed to calm down.Â
I need to make a nest, I think that will help.
He went over to the closet and pulled out the spare things he kept in this room for just such occasions. Then he went back to the bed and pulled off all the scent-smothered bedding, unable to stand it a moment longer. Itâs too overwhelming, not right at allâŚ
After that necessary step was done, he took the materials heâd collected and began to arrange them on the bed. He folded the duvet into a soft, rounded wall and then started building up layers with the blankets and pillows. After some time, he stepped back to survey his work. He needed something , but he wasnât sure what that thing might be.
Zemo went to the closet and began running his fingers over the fabric of his clothes. Maybe he wanted to change into something different, feel a softer sweater or something he could wrap around himself? He began taking things off their hangers to feel them, then tossing them onto the floor in frustration.
He hesitated when his eyes fell on the clothes in Jamesâs section of their closet, and something clicked into place. Yes, thatâs it! Of courseâŚ
Quickly, he went to the laundry hamper beside the bathroom and tipped the entire contents onto the floor. He found several t-shirts and boxer shorts with James scent still on them and began tucking them into the nest. Yes. This is good. Now it was like both his mates were here. Zemo felt himself begin to relax. He was safe.Â
*
Brock stirred the soup on the stove impatiently. Heâd been tempted to simply pour out a bowl and pop it in the microwave, but then he wondered what his Nonna would have thought of that, and decided to grab a saucepan instead. It would take longer, but the Baron deserved the best.
After what felt like forever, Brock was sure it was hot enough. Carefully, he transferred it to a bowl, placed it on a tray, and added a cool glass of water and a couple of those little honey cookies from the bakery in case the Omega fancied something sweet afterwards.
He carefully let himself into the bedroom, and was surprised to see Zemo sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of dirty laundry.
âWhatâs going on?â He asked cautiously. He noted the window was open again, and made a mental note to close it.
âThe scent has to be just right,â Zemo replied, as though that explained anything, and Brock watched him bring one of his own socks to his nose, sniff it, then toss it aside.
âAre those my sweatpants?â Brock pointed with a foot.
âProbably, if you put them in the laundry basket.â
âRight. Well, I got your soup.â He placed the tray down on the desk, and turned to the bed. There was even more laundry there, along with some blankets and sheets, folded and tucked into a loose horseshoe shape.
Suddenly, he realized what he was looking at. Memories from the Special Sexual Education classes he was forced to attend at school came rushing back to him - that horrible pile of stinky blankets in the corner of the classroom that the Omega kids were supposed to use when they experienced their first heats.
This was the start of a nest .
Zemo was watching Brock warily as he approached it, although he pretended to be more interested in a pair of boxer shorts.
Omegas are defensive of their nests , Brock knew. But maybe that only applied when they were in heat? This must be a - what was it called? A comfort nest . Omegas made them to calm down when they were stressed.
Cautiously, Brock leaned over the entwined fabrics for a closer look. It smelt strongly - of himself and Zemo, of sweat and sex and warmth, and the scent was pleasing. Being careful not to untangle any of it, Brock ran a hand over it, taking in the mixture of materials. It was so well crafted that even though it was just a jumble of different items, it held together well.
My Omega is an expert.
âDo you like it?â Zemo breathed. He was still watching Rumlow closely from the floor.
But then, Brock noticed something. He smelled it first. Under his own powerful musk and Zemoâs lighter, fresh aroma, he could sense something else. He only caught it for a moment, then he leaned in closer. There!
Brock tugged at the nest, and pulled out the offending item. A simple grey t-shirt, with the left sleeve ripped off to allow for a metal arm.Â
And there. A pair of dark blue boxer briefs that didnât belong to him or Zemo. A sock. Another shirt. A pillowcase, drenched in a distinctive scent.
Our nest has someone elseâs scent in it, Brock thought in panic. Am I not good enough for him? Am I not fulfilling my role?
âWhat are you doing?" Zemo cried out, jumping to his feet as Brock began ripping into the nest. âStop it!â
But Brock didnât stop. Instead, he continued desperately clawing through the fabrics, destroying the careful arrangement Zemo had made. He was pulling out everything that smelled of Bucky, tossing it onto the floor, determined to remove all trace of the invaderâs smell.
âBrock! Stop this!â Zemo shouted, and when his Alpha ignored him he tried to push him back. But instead, Brock grabbed an armful of nesting material, staggered to the open window and tossing it out. The omega let out a roar of anguish as his careful handiwork fell down into the garden below.Â
Through the bond, Brock felt a sharp stab of pain - but he couldnât stop. He HAD to cleanse his territory of any other Alpha -Â
As Brock bent to grab a blanket to throw, Zemo dove at him and sunk his teeth deep into his arm. Rumlow roared with pain and tried to squirm to pull the Omega off, but he clung on tight and flailed at Brock, scratching and hitting any part he could reach.
Suddenly, Bucky was there between them, pulling them apart, throwing Zemo down onto the bed and Brock onto the ground into the tattered remains of the nest.
âWhat the hell are you both doing?â, he demanded, looming over Brock.
*
Bucky felt it first in the bond. The change from a calmness that was almost serenity, to panic. Then he heard the sound of raised voices from the bedroom, and sprinted up the stairs without a momentâs hesitation.
When he pulled open the door to the bedroom, he saw Brock standing by the open window holding a blanket and struggling with Zemo who had sunk his teeth into the Alpha's arm and looked as if he wanted to tear him apart.Â
Bucky got between them and separated them easily. "Whatâs going on? What the hell are you both doing?", he demanded.Â
Brock got to his feet, shouldering past him and placing himself in front of the bed where Zemo was. "Don't touch him," he snarled.
Bucky was frustrated, but not surprised by the Alphaâs reaction. His dark eyes gleamed with a defiance that Bucky had seen several times over the last few days, but there was also a flicker of something like - fear. How was he supposed to get through to his mate when he was like this? He tried to reach out through the bond, but he came up against a roiling, volatile cloud of static that interfered and made it impossible for him to make contact.Â
Zemo slipped off the bed and came over to stand next to James. "No," he said, glaring at Rumlow. âYou stay away from me."
The Alpha tore his gaze away from Bucky, eyes fixed on his Omega.
"What? BaronâŚ"
Zemo shook his head. "You ruined it, Brock."
Brock took a step towards him and Zemo took one back. Bucky could see that he was watching the Alpha warily, and looked as if he might bolt out of the room.
Bucky held his hand out to stop Rumlow. "Okay, thatâs enough. You should go.â
The Alpha growled at him, baring his teeth. "I don't take orders from you!"Â
Bucky realized that he couldnât deal with both of them right now, especially not if Brock was posturing like this for the sake of their Omega. First heâd deal with Zemo, then heâd deal with Brock.Â
"Get out,â he said firmly, ignoring the fact that Rumlow looked as if he was about to lunge at him.Â
The moment he said the words, Brock's expression wavered, and in that moment Bucky thought he looked strangely vulnerable. Then he slowly turned away and walked out of the room without a word. Bucky heard him go downstairs, and then the sound of the door to the basement opening, followed by a loud bang as he closed it behind him.
Bucky turned his attention to Zemo, who was sitting down on the edge of the bed, arms crossed over his stomach. His eyes were closed and his breathing shallow.
Bucky sat down next to him on the bed. "Talk to me."
"He destroyed the nest I was making," Zemo said, and as the words left his lips Bucky felt the hurt and confusion bleeding through the bond. "I don't understand why Brock would do that. He just started throwing things out the window."
"So you bit him?"Â
"I might have got a littleâŚcarried away,â Zemo confessed. âI was just frustrated after being cooped up in here, and with how possessively he's been acting."Â
âYou shouldnât have attacked him, Zemo.â
âI know, I know. IâmâŚI wasnât thinking clearly.â Zemo paused. "Ugh, I feel awful..."Â
"It's not your fault.â Â
Zemo shook his head. "No, I meanâŚI feel sick."
âOkay, just breathe. You want some water?â
âNo.â
âDid you take your medicine?â
âI did- oh, but that was yesterday. I must have forgotten.â
Bucky sighed, and walked over to the nightstand. âI told him to make sure you took it.â He located the pills and handed them to Zemo with a glass of water. âHere. Take these now.â
Zemo looked at them for a moment as if he would like nothing more than to toss them on the ground, but then he obeyed, swallowing them down with a grimace. He followed them up with a few measured sips of water, as Bucky ran his hand soothingly over his mateâs back.
âThatâs good,â he said, and then felt that Zemo was shivering, âOh, youâre cold.â
He looked around at the open window and the room in complete disarray. "Okay. We should go next door. You need to get some rest and I know you, youâre not gonna be able to do that here."
Zemo nodded in agreement. âI want to take a bath first."
Bucky leaned in to catch his mate's scent. "Yeah, itâll be good to get the stress-scent off. Help you calm down."
He stood up and offered Zemo his hand. "Come on, let's go."
*
They were in the main bathroom across from the bedrooms, rather than the smaller en suite. Zemo loved the tub in here, because he could fully stretch out and luxuriate in the warm water. Bucky wasnât sure if it was an Omega thing or a Zemo thing, but either way his mate was making up for lost time after all the years of cold prison showers. Luckily heâd kept the medication down, and, though he was still tired, Bucky could tell that his mate was beginning to warm up and relax.Â
âWhereâs Brock?â, Zemo asked.
âI heard him go downstairs to the basement,â Bucky replied.
Zemo closed his eyes and let his head rest on the towel. âThe heat sickness is still interfering with the bond. I canât feel you through it properly, let alone him.â
âYou want me to go check on him?â
âHm. Iâm not sure. Iâm still angry with him, but I also donât like not knowing where he is.â
Bucky stood up. âIâll go, I donât want you worrying.â
âThank you.â
Bucky got up and walked out of the room. As he walked to the end of the corridor and descended the stairs, he felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. Why did he suddenly have a feeling that something was wrong? He hesitated at the door that led to the basement, before knocking twice.
âHey, Brock?â, he called.
No response.
âYou down there?â
Still no answer.
It wasnât like Brock to ignore him like that, even if he was angry, so Bucky turned the handle and opened the door. He came down the dusty wooden stairs, but there was no Brock down here. In fact, it seemed like heâd moved his things from down here, and there were only paint sheets and the boxes they hadnât yet taken to be donated.Â
Bucky hurried back upstairs, checking the kitchen, the living room, the downstairs bathroom, but there was no sign of him.Â
He could have gone out for a run , Bucky thought, but he wasnât convinced. Heâd heard Brock go down to the basement, and now all his stuff was gone. Bucky sat down on the floor with his back against the couch and closed his eyes. He cleared his mind, and tried to focus on his bond with Rumlow. He started small, feeling if Brock was in the same room as him, and then gradually broadening his awareness to the rest of the house. But he couldnât feel Brock in the house, or anywhere in the nearby area.Â
Bucky pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Brock. He heard a vibration coming from the hall, and located the phone in Brockâs old leather jacket. He hadnât taken it with him.Â
Guess that means he doesnât wanna talk.
He checked his watch. Nine thirty. Brock might have gone into town, maybe to a bar or something. He could take the car and drive around looking for him. Heâd done it before.Â
But maybe Brock just needed some space from them? Bucky didnât want to pressure him into coming back before he was ready.
Itâs not like last time, he told himself. He knows that we care about him, and that we love him.
He doesnât think that when I said âget outâ I meant that I was actually throwing him out of the houseâŚright?
Bucky closed his eyes and focused on the bond again. It felt like Brock was far away, already, getting further by the minute.Â
Fuck.
He was about to grab the keys and rush out when he realized that he couldnât leave Zemo alone while he was still sick. The Omega needed him close, needed his hormones so that he could get better. He couldnât just take off after Rumlow.
Okay, donât panic. First, youâre going to go upstairs and tell Zemo whatâs happened. Then youâre going to stay with him, and in the morning see if heâll be okay enough for you to go after Brock.Â
Hopefully Brock would be back by then, or at least call them to let them know what was going on. But even if he didnât, Bucky had a plan. All he had to do was follow it, and everything would be okay.Â
Thatâs what he had to keep telling himself.
*
Chapter Text
*
Brock ran down their driveway, carrying only his lockbox and not daring to look back at the house. He could feel his Omegaâs distress unbearably loud in his head, and it was a relief to get away from his mates. The thought of that made Brock feel even worse. He really would be better off gone. For all of them.Â
He thought for a second about taking the car - stealing the car - but then changed his mind. Heâd already done enough damage and he didnât want to cause Bucky and the Baron any more trouble than he already had.
Instead, he decided to head into town on foot. He could get a bus to Boston from there, and after that - well, he didnât have a fucking clue. Probably New York, because he could go anywhere after that. The only thing that mattered now was getting as far away from all this as possible.
I failed. I fucked up big time, he thought as he boarded the bus to the city. Now theyâre done with me. Through. Finished.Â
The other passengers avoided the back of the bus, where he was sitting. Brock was rough-looking and sweaty, and he could almost feel the stress leaking out of his skin.Â
Why couldnât I be the Alpha they needed? , he thought as he stared out into the darkness beyond the window. Why canât I be their Pack Leader? I was their Alpha, itâs what Iâm meant to doâŚWhat the hellâs wrong with me?
He kept remembering that look in Buckyâs eyes when heâd sent him away, and how heâd justâŚsubmitted to it, accepting that he had no hope of fighting him. Even Zemo had rejected him, siding with the Beta over him!
It made Rumlow feel sick. He was a useless, broken failure and his mates had finally realized it.
*
Bucky didn't see any point lying to Zemo, so he decided to go upstairs and tell him that Brock had left the house. He found his mate in the guest room. He'd gotten out of the bath and was now curled up on the bed in his robe, stroking the fabric of the comforter.Â
I feel strangely calm, Bucky realized. We had to deal with worse than this last time, way worse. And we got through that, didnât we?
"I think he took off," Bucky said, sitting down on the bed next to him. "He didn't take the car but I can feel that he's moving away."
"That's what I'd feared," Zemo said with a sigh.
"You donât seem surprised. Did Brock say something to you?"
Zemo shook his head slightly. "No, but it's what he does when things are overwhelming for him."
"You think he's just gonna come back when he's cooled off?"
"I don't know, James."
"Are you mad at him?"
"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to come home."
"Do you think I should go after him?"
"Yes, especially if he's drinking. He might do something reckless."Â
Bucky thought about that for a moment. âI agree, but first I need to know how youâre doing.â
âLess nauseous, âZemo admitted. âStill hot and cold, but Iâm mostly tired. I just want to sleep.â
âOkay, then Iâm not leaving you alone right now," Bucky said firmly.
âJames-â
âIâm serious, Zemo. And donât say youâre fine, because youâve just told me youâre not. I just need you to be honest with me right now, okay? Let me look after you.â
Zemo looked at him for a moment before saying. â...Yes, alright. I apologize, James.â
âGood. Now that weâve worked that out, letâs get an early night. And in the morning, weâll see what the situation is.â
*
 Brock stared out the window of the train in a daze, watching as the dark landscape rushed by. Iâll never come back here again , he vowed. Thatâs the least those two deserve .
By the time heâd arrived at Grand Central Terminal, Brock had made up his mind. Heâd get as far away from here as he could on the cash he had - a few hundred at most. It was Zemoâs money really, but Brock figured that leaving was sort of like paying him back in the long run. Heâd definitely save a lot of money on therapy. It would be plenty to get a room for the night, and something mind-numbing. Alcohol. Drugs maybe, if he could scare up something. He didnât really care as long as it stopped him feeling like his chest was full of knives.
A woman with long, dark hair brushed past him. She was pulling a kid along by the hand and was hurrying along the platform. Brock watched them as they rushed onto a train just moments before the doors closed behind them.
"You're my kid brother, âcourse I'm gonna look out for you. Iâm always here if you need me, right? You can always call me or talk to me about anything and weâll work it out, ok?â
Brock sat down on a bench and dropped his head into his hands. Was that where it all went wrong, maybe? He didnât even know if any of his family were still alive - and even if they were, he suspected their offer of help was long since withdrawn.
Iâm not going back to New Jersey. I can't. Not now.
The bright lights and sounds and smells of the station were really raising the hair on his arms, and suddenly he needed to get outside. The streets were just as busy, but at least out in the open he could just keep his head down and walk. He needed to get away from here, he had to keep moving. Iâm harder to find here . Not safe, but less of a target. Camouflaged.Â
Most of those around him were Betas, with the occasional cyclo on blockers passing him by. Once, an Alpha came too close to him and he couldnât help snarling in annoyance. He quickly ducked into a corner store before he could do something stupid. He wasnât that far gone yet .
Maybe youâre going feral, Brock thought to himself, as he walked down to the liquor aisle. A wild animal. Totally out of control.
âFuck it,â he muttered to himself, picking up a bottle of vodka and weighing it in his hand for a second before taking it to the checkout. There was no use pretending to himself that he wasnât going to buy it, or that it was just fuel to get him wherever he was going. It was either his mates, or this. And they didnât want him, so this is what he had left.
He swigged vodka straight out of the bottle as he walked to the Port Authority Bus Terminal, only stashing it away in the brown paper bag when he walked in. He bought a ticket for the 3am bus, and slumped down on one of the metal benches in the waiting area. He was starting to drift off to sleep when the bus finally arrived, and he pulled himself up unsteadily, keeping his arm locked tight around the lockbox heâd kept glued to his side all this time.
âWeâre arriving in Richmond at 10:50 tomorrow morning,â the driver informed him.
âFine,â Brock managed to grunt in acknowledgement as he walked past him. There were only four other passengers on the bus, and Brock took a seat at the back, resting his head against the smudged, dirty window. The journey could go on forever, for all he cared.Â
He didnât know what he was going to do when it ended.
*
At their first rest stop a few hours down the road, Brock went into the dirty bathroom and finished off the remainder of the vodka. Then he bought another from the small convenience store, and tipped it into an empty water bottle heâd found in the trash.Â
The driver rolled his eyes when Rumlow staggered back onto the bus, but he didnât say anything.
Some time later, Brock became aware of the sound of raised voices. There was a guy yelling at him, and Brock realized he was yelling back. At least, it was probably him. He felt his numb lips moving and his mouth forming words from far away. And then he felt someone grab both his shoulders, so he swung a fist. Then the bus stopped, and Rumlow was dragged to the open doors and tossed out onto the gritty asphalt. He heard a thud as his lockbox landed on the ground, close enough to his head that he grimaced at the clattering it made, and then he was watching the bus get smaller and smaller as it drove away.
Brock rubbed his eyes and tried to remember what had happened. Someone had touched his box, maybe, and then he was accused of being drunk⌠It was all a blur. The sun was rising as he watched the bus vanishing into the distance. Whatever. It didnât matter now. The roadside gravel was nice and cool as he laid there for a few minutes, not seeing or feeling anything in particular.
A car drove past him, blaring its horn. Brock sneered at it as he dragged himself out of the road, pulling himself to his feet and trying to take stock of where the hell he even was. A couple of miles on the outskirts of some city, it looked like.Â
He sighed, and started walking, holding out a thumb on the off-chance that someone might take pity on him and pick him up. To his surprise, it wasnât long before a truck pulled over for him.
âWhere you going, dude?â, the man asked. He was a burly guy with a brown beard and short, curly hair. He looked tough, but his manner was friendly enough that Brock didnât think anything of accepting the lift.Â
Brock shrugged. âThe city, I guess.â
âOkay, thatâs where Iâm headed. Hop in.â
âYeah, sure,â Brock shrugged, tossing his lockbox into the back of the pickup and getting in.Â
âIâve got a job in Arlington,â the man said. âBut I can drop you by the bridge, if you want to go downtown?â
âYeah, wherever.â
The man gave him a look of pity, but Brock bit his tongue. He didnât want to snap at the one guy whoâd picked him up.Â
His ride chatted to him as they drove, but Brock barely bothered responding. He stared out of the window as the sky lightened from slate grey to a washed-out blue, thinking about the men he loved. He was used to being far away from Winter, but now that he was sobering up he realized how bad it hurt being away from Zemo. Theyâd only just bonded a few months ago. The worst was being away from both of them, though, knowing that he was never going to see them againâŚ.
âYouâre a vet, right?â, the guy said, interrupting Brockâs train of thought.
Brock watched as the man pulled up his sleeve to reveal a fading tattoo of a knife and an eagle on his forearm. Â
âI can always tell. We look out for our own, brother.â
Brock turned to look out the window. âI donât wanna talk about it.â
He realized suddenly that he recognised a building theyâd drove past, and he struggled to remember where heâd seen it before.
âRight, my bad,â the guy said. âSo, youâre just passing through?â
âUh, yeah, I guess,â Brock said, trailing off as he recognised something else. A monument. âWait, this is Washington D.C.â
âWell, yeah,â the guy laughed. âDonât tell me you thought you were in Washington State, man, you wouldnât be the first but-â
âAnd you said the bridge?â Brock swallowed. It felt like time was slowing down, like something really, really bad was about to happen.
âYeah, itâs just coming up,â his ride gave him a sideways glance. âGoes over Theodore Roosevelt Island-â
Oh no. Oh no . Fuck! How could this have happened? Brockâs breathing was suddenly coming short and sharp, and he felt like he could barely see. He was back here, where it happened . It wasnât possible -Â
The driver pulled over. âHey, take it easy now-â
But Brock spilled out of the truck, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed his lockbox out of the back and watched as, after a few long seconds, the guy drove off.Â
I swore Iâd never come back here, Brock thought as he looked down at the churning waters of the Potomac river. This is where I lost him the first time.
This was where the Triskelion fell and Winter dug him out of the burning rubble with his bare hands, cradled him, willed him back to life - and where I sent him away.Â
Now heâs sent me away, and Iâve ended up back here.
He could still remember the burning in his lungs, how every breath brought a pain that felt like it would kill him. Darkness, then Winterâs face and he pulled him from the rubble and held him carefully in his arms.
âGo, Winter!â Brock choked, his burned throat making his voice come out in a rasp . âLeave!â
âIâm not leaving without you, Sir.â
âGo! ThatâsâŚ.an order! Get out of here!â
â...Iâll take you with me.â
âNO! Fuck off! Leave! NeverâŚcome back hereâŚyou understanâ Win?â Brock coughed and the pain was blinding. âGo! Please!â
Winter stared down at him with those bright blue eyes, filled with worry and hurt.
âFuck,â Brock wheezed, gasping for air. âOk⌠ĐоНанио.â
âDonât do this,â Winter whispered. âPlease, Sir.â
â РМавŃĐšâŚĐĄĐľĐźĐ˝Đ°Đ´ŃĐ°ŃŃ,â Brock continued reciting the words in agony.
âSir, I love you,â Winter pleaded, holding him tight against his chest as tears ran down his cheeks. âI love you, I love you.â
â...ТОваŃĐ˝ŃĐš вагОн,â Brock finished, and watched as the spark faded from his mateâs eyes.
âReady to comply.â
*
Bucky woke up early, showered and fed Alpine. He could tell that Brock had stopped moving, and he had a general sense that their mate had travelled south east, but he couldnât tell exactly how far heâd gone. Just in case, he threw together a bag with some of his and Brockâs clothes as well as some toiletries, then went back up to the bedroom to check on Zemo.Â
His mate was still asleep, so Bucky jostled him gently to wake him up. Zemo opened his eyes slowly and reluctantly. âJames? Whatâs wrong?â, he mumbled.
âHey, sorry,â Bucky whispered. âI just need to know how youâre doing, so I can decide if I should go after Brock today.â
With a sigh, Zemo pulled himself up into a sitting position and took a drink from the glass of water on the nightstand.Â
âI feel better, I think,â He said, after a moment. âIâm tired, but I no longer feel sick or have a fever. Which means the worst of it has likely passed.â
âAre you sure?â
âYes, I was doing some research about heat sickness yesterday. I think Iâll be fine if you go.â
âWhat if it comes back?â, Bucky asked with concern.Â
âIâll call you if it gets worse again. Please, James, I just want you to bring him back. I need to know that heâs alright.â
âOkay,â Bucky said, taking his hand. âIâll get us some breakfast before I go. Do you need me to make lunch for you to have later too?â
âNo, Iâll be fine,â Zemo said with a yawn. âJust breakfast, I think.â
Bucky went downstairs and made them both some toast and peanut butter, with some herbal tea for Zemo.
âWhy donât we talk, before you go looking for him?â, Zemo asked when Bucky returned to the room and handed him the plate.
âYeah, of course. What do you wanna talk about?â
âAbout last night,â Zemo said. âIâm thinking more clearly now, and it seems to me that Brock wasnât seeing you as his mate, but as a competing Alpha. He wasnât thinking rationally, but instinctively. Which means the problem is likely more than simple jealousy.â
âIâm not sure I understand.â
âHe really believed that you were going to take me away from him, James. That you had to power to do that.â
âIâm still not following.â
â Betas ,â Zemo mumbled. âVery well. It seems to me that our Alpha is unsure of his place in our little pack.â
âOkay⌠And what does that mean?â
âIt means that he doesnât know what is expected of him, or what he is allowed to do. Heâs lashing out and trying to take control because heâs fearful.â
âOf what?â
âOf you , James.ââ
âOh. What does he think Iâm gonna do?â
âI donât know. You will have to ask him that yourself.â
âWhy me? Why not you?â
âSimple. Because I am an Omega. He doesnât see me as aâŚcompetitor, as it were.â
âSo itâs because weâre both bonded to you?â
âIn a way, but mostly because you smell like an Alpha now and heâs only ever known you as an Omega.â
âBut Iâm neither!â Bucky protested. âI donât even know how to act like an Alpha!â
Zemo thought about this for a moment before saying. âUsually Alphas fight to establish their position in the pack. And most importantly, who takes the role of Pack Leader.â
Bucky shook his head. âIâm not gonna fight him, thatâs ridiculous.â
âNot really fight. More like wrestling, where the aim is to pin your opponent.â
âAnd Iâm supposed to let him win?â
âNo, not exactly. One of you will submit to the other. But I really think you should talk to him about this, James. I anticipate thereâs more to it than that.â
âOkay. Well, thanks for the talk. Iâll call you when Iâve found him.â
âI love you, James.â
âI love you too.â
âTell him I love him, please.â
âDonât worry,â Bucky said, kissing Zemo softly on the lips. âYou can tell him yourself when I bring him home.â
*
For just a moment, everything was okay.Â
He was alone in bed, but the Baron was probably just in the kitchen, making some coffee. Bucky would knock on his door any minute, asking him if he wanted to go for a run.
But then Brock felt the wave of grief wash over him, and he remembered that there was no house, no Baron, no Bucky. No one waiting for him. Only a shitty little motel on the outskirts of the city, the same one he should have died in years ago. His head was throbbing like hell, and he felt like he would have been sick except there was nothing left inside him.
He was empty.
He sat up blearily, shading his eyes against the weak light streaming in through the busted-up blinds. He looked down and noticed his lockbox next to the bed. No matter how wasted he got, he knew that he could never lose it. Those memories were all he had left.
He was wearing boxers, but the rest of his clothes were scattered across the dirty red carpet of the room heâd rented the night before. Or early that morning. Brock couldnât remember. He fumbled for his phone on the nightstand, only to dislodge the almost empty bottle of vodka which fell onto the floor. Thankfully it didnât break, but the remains of the liquor seeped into the carpet.Â
Maybe it was for the best, though Brock knew from experience that he was going to feel like hell until he got another drink in him. Had there been a liquor store around here? Or a convenience store maybe? He couldnât remember. He scanned the room. No mini bar.Â
Well, if he was going to go out and get some supplies, the first thing heâd need to do was get dressed. He forced himself out of bed and stumbled around the room, gathering up his clothes. He checked the pocket of his jeans for his phone, then realized heâd left it back home - no, not his home, their home. Bucky and Zemoâs home.Â
âSânot like Iâm gonna get calls from anyone else, anyway.â Brock mumbled aloud. Fuck. Whatever. He didnât need it. They were better off without him.
As he pulled on his clothes, he noticed that the clock next to the bed read half past five, and from the light streaming in through the closed blinds, he knew that he must have slept all day. Fine. It wasnât like he had to be anywhere. Heâd lived for years like this, and, sure, heâd kind of gotten used to things being different these last few months (better, so much better), but the second heâd left heâd fallen back into his old habits.
Obviously this is just my natural state, Brock thought. A useless fucking waste of space. No point fighting it anymore.Â
He'd never been a proper mate, not really. Heâd forced the bonds with both his mates, so no wonder none of it worked like it was supposed to. He couldnât keep his temper under control, or stop himself getting possessive over his Omega, and he couldnât establish himself as Pack Leader. He couldnât even purr right. He was a complete failure of an Alpha, and this is what he deserved.
Brock dunked his head under the tap and drank until he was gasping for air. Then he stood up straight, wiping his mouth, and caught a glimpse of himself in the rust-speckled mirror over the sink. He was a mess - eyes bloodshot and with dark rings underneath, his stubble growing out already, his hair mussed up and greasy. The broken skin on his knuckles where heâd punched the floor of the basement after learning what Pierce had done to his mate had cracked open again, maybe while he was moving around in his sleep. With a sigh, he washed the dried blood from his hands.Â
Pierce would have killed me if he saw me looking like this, Brock thought.
He froze, holding his hands under the cold running water. He didnât want to think about that- but⌠how could he not, when he was back where it had all happened? He felt the ghostly presence of Pierce looming over his shoulder, growling in his ear. âYou arenât looking your best, Commander.â
It was true. Pierce always wanted his men to look their best - especially his Alpha Squad. He kept them like Dobermans, freshly groomed, cropped and docked, leashed and ready. Brock had liked that. And he hated that he liked that.
ButâŚthe truth was that he needed something, someone to look good for. He needed a standard he had to maintain, and a goal to strive towards. Thatâs what heâd loved about HYDRA, really. The structure, the rules, the simplicity ; a place where he understood exactly what was expected of him.Â
I miss it. I wish I was âŚ
No! He couldnât think like that! He knew now that it was all a lie. Thereâd never been any great purpose, it was all mind games and bullshit to keep them all in their place.Â
But it felt good, didnât it? When you knew what you had to do, when someone else was calling the shots?
Brock felt his heart sink. His knot was swelling up at just the memory of Pierce. Nothing could ever make him pop a knot like Pierce could, nothing. His dick was hard too, starting to leak with need already, and with a broken resignation, Brock went back into the bedroom and opened his lockbox and pulled out the bottle of DIOS. He popped the cap and sprayed it liberally over the bedsheets, then collapsed back into them. He gasped as he palmed his knot through his boxers, inhaling the scent on the pillow, hoping to get some relief from the familiarity of the routine.Â
He remembered that firm voice that offered no room for disobedience commanding: "On your knees now. Hold that knot for me.â
Brock did as he was told immediately, falling to his knees and cupping his knot.Â
Pierce hummed in approval. âYou're a good man, Rumlow. Honest. Hard-working. Strong. How long has the Winter Soldier been in cryo so far this time?"Â
"Two months, Sir,â Brock responded, keeping his eyes on the ground.
"Bet you miss him, don't you?"Â
"...Sir?"Â
"Do you think about him at night when you're alone in your bunk? Find yourself getting hard at the thought of him? Get yourself off thinking of the last time you were with him?"Â
"..."Â
Pierce walked over to Brock and ran his fingers through his hair. "Close your eyes, Commander. Keep holding that knot tight. Tell me, when you're thinking about your Winter, what do you see?"Â
"... his lips," Brock answered quietly. "... his back. The way he looks at me when he wants me." He was getting hard, his knot throbbing in his fingers as the rest of his dick swelled.Â
"Good." Pierce tugged on Brock's hair, making him gasp in surprise as his head was pulled back. He opened his eyes for a moment, and saw his Pack Leader staring at him. Then he screwed them shut again. "Tell me more."Â
"His scent,â Rumlow gasped. âThat little noise he makes when he wants my attention." Almost subconsciously, he'd slipped one hand under his knot, cupping it with his fingers so it felt like a catch. His other hand slowly rubbed the full length of his shaft, from the base of his knot to the tip. "His hard cock, the way he presses it against me when he needs me... how he gets slick for me..."Â
Pierce drew a shaky breath. With one hand still tangled in Brock's hair, he brought the other to his throat, and pressed down firmly on the two glands on either side of Brock's neck. Brock whined, spreading his knees further apart. He would have sunk lower if his Pack Leader's fingers weren't still grasping a handful of his hair.
 "You're such a good boy, Brock." Pierce whispered. "So obedient for your master. Using that cock of yours just for him. Knotting on command like the breeding stud you are. That's what you are, Brock, isn't it? My stud. My prize-winning, proven, breeding stud who loves to knot whenever his Pack Leader tells him to."
Rumlow's hand was moving faster and faster over his cock now, the fingers around his knot squeezing and releasing it in time to the throbs of his heartbeat. "Yes, sir..." He stuttered, squirming a little under the pressure Pierce was still applying to the glands under his skin. Pierceâs Alpha scent mixed with his strong cologne filled Brock's nose, his mind. This was his Pack Leader, his master. He whimpered again.
"Come for me now, pup."Â
With a yelp of need, Rumlow spilled across the cold floor in front of him, while Pierce cruelly tugged back on his hair. His eyes were still tightly screwed shut, and he collapsed as Pierce released him, shaking, onto the ground. "Well done, Commander." Pierce stepped past the trembling man sprawled on the floor, who was still gasping through the aftershocks of his orgasm. He sat down at his desk, and began casually flicking through some of his paperwork. "You're dismissed now, Rumlow."
Brock lay back against the comforter, covered in that horrible, musky scent he just couldnât survive without. He hated Pierce, he hated him so much, but he needed him too. Needed someone to take control of him, make everything make sense.
Suddenly, he felt so cold, alone, naked, pathetic... He mopped up his come with a tissue and pulled on his dirty clothes. The smell of the bed sheets made him feel sick, so he curled up in a ball on the floor, gritted his teeth and sobbed.
*
Bucky continued south on route ninety-five through Philadelphia. He was getting closer, but he could feel he still had further south to go. Heâd been driving for six hours with only a quick break to get some gas and a bite to eat. He realized at some point that heâd switched into mission-mentality, and had thought about little else but his mate since he got in the car. Which wasnât a bad thing exactly, because it meant that he could concentrate more intensely on their bond.Â
âJust wait for me,â Bucky murmured to himself. âDonât go anywhere. Iâm coming.â
Heâd been thinking about Zemo too, back at the house. He hated feeling like he was split between his two mates, but it couldnât be helped. From what Zemo had said, it seemed like it had been because of him that Brock had left. He had to be the one to get him to come back.
ââPack Leaderâ,â Bucky said to himself, the words foreign on his tongue. âYeah, right.â
He didnât want to fight Brock, or do anything except wrap his arms around his mate and hold him tight and tell him that he loved him and that everything was going to be okay. Heâd had enough of fighting, for several lifetimes. But maybe that was the problem. He was a Beta: he just didnât have the natural instincts needed to respond to Brock like an Alpha would. Bucky sighed wearily. It was exhausting.Â
He glanced at the sign up ahead. No, it couldnât be? But yes, that was the way he could feel Brock.
âFine. Washington it is.â
*
Hours later, Bucky easily broke the hinge on the motel room door as he forced his way in. From the scrambled mess of feelings in the bond, he knew that Brock was inside, and his need to find his mate was overriding every other thought.Â
The scent hit him first. It took him a second to remember where heâd smelled it before - it was that horrible cologne Zemo tried out⌠or at least, told us he was tryingâŚ
But here, mixed with the scent of Alpha⌠he was suddenly struck with the sensory-memory of a manâs large hands grabbing his hips-Â
Pierce.Â
Momentarily, Bucky was horrified, and couldnât stop himself from glancing around as though he was expecting Pierce to be there, somehow. No, heâs dead. Heâs gone, forever. But then why did the room smell like him? And where was Brock?
The room was disgustingly unclean, with a ratty carpet and a worn-out bed. But a little groan from the other side of the room caught Buckyâs attention. There, lying, shivering, on the floor next to the bed, was Rumlow. Even through Rumlowâs boxers, and in his barely conscious state, it was obvious to Bucky his knot was tight and swollen.
âHey,â Bucky gasped as he knelt onto the floor beside his mate. âHey, Bones, whatâs going on? Are you okay?â
âW-winter?â Brock asked groggily, pulling himself into a sitting position, back against the wall.
âNo, itâs-â Bucky broke off with a sigh. Now was not the time. âYeah, Bones. Itâs me.â He reached out hesitantly towards his mate. âAre you okay?â
Brock seemed not to have understood what heâd said, because he rubbed his face with the back of his hand and mumbled. âThe fuck you doing here?â
âI came to get you,â Bucky said. âWe were worried about you, you know that?â
âWhy?â Rumlowâs voice wavered. âYou got what you wanted, didnât you? You won. You got your life with the Baron, and Iâm not gonna ruin it for you no more.â He let out a choked noise, something between a sob and the strange sound he made instead of purring. âSo just fuck off.âÂ
âNo. I want you to come home, Bones,â Bucky insisted. âSo does Zemo.â
âNah,â Brock said, shaking his head insistently. âThereâs no way he wants me after how I treated him. I just... I didn't mean toâŚbut I know it wasnât okay, what I did.â
He looked up at Bucky and finally met his eyes. âIs he okay?â
âYeah,â Bucky said slowly. âHeâs doing better.â
âGood.â
âHeâs not mad at you, not really. Just worried. We talked this morning. All this Alpha stuff youâve had going on- I donât really get it- but Zemo said he thinks youâre trying to be Pack Leader.â
Brock shifted uncomfortably and muttered. âYeah, well not anymore. Like I said, Iâm done ruining your life.â
âBut-â
âYou came here to drag me back so I can keep fucking everything up for you, is that it?â
Bucky sighed. âWeâre gonna work this out, Bones.â
âAnd what if I donât wanna?â
Bucky looked at mate. He took in his greasy, patchy stubble, the dark circles under his eyes, his hunched-up posture and wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms and hold him close. He knew that Brock wouldnât accept that right now, though. Would see it as sympathy which he felt he didnât deserve, or worse, pity.
âIf you donât want to come back with me, then weâll respect that,â Bucky said finally. âWeâre not gonna make you do anything, but you have to know weâd always wish we could have worked something out. Weâd miss you, and weâd want to know you were doing okay, wherever you ended up.â
Brock looked down at the floor, scratching at the scars on his cheek. âFuck off.â
Bucky felt a sudden jolt in their bond, so sharp it was almost painful. The mixture of shame and longing from his mate was so strong that it was almost painful.
âYou donât want to leave us,â Bucky said simply. âYou just think you have to because youâre no good.â
Brock slouched away from him, pulling his knees up to his chest.
âBut thatâs not true, Bones. You are good, and we donât want you to leave.â
âFuckinâ sent me away though,â Brock mumbled.
Bucky noticed again how worn down his mate looked. A night of booze and travel and no sleep, most likely. He needed to help him out, if they were going to have a proper conversation.Â
âListen Bones, Iâm gonna go across the street and get us some supplies, okay? Then we can talk about this for real.â
Bucky got up and walked over to the door, but hesitated to leave Brock behind. âWill you stay here for me?â
Brock didnât reply, and Bucky wasnât even sure if heâd heard him.
âBones?â
âUh-huh.â
âStay.â
Brock nodded, then let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes.
*
There was a 7-Eleven across from the motel, and Bucky dashed around the store, gathering up some essentials - Tylenol, water, snacks, anything he thought might help his mate feel better. He even got them a couple of coffees from the machine. The kind of burnt, watery stuff that Zemo wouldnât touch, but neither himself nor Brock minded. After paying, he went outside and texted Zemo to let him know that heâd found Brock and that he was safe, before hurrying back across the street to the motel.Â
By the time he returned, Bones seemed more awake. Heâd gotten himself a glass of water, but was still sitting on the floor staring into space as if he was barely aware of his surroundings.
âHere,â Bucky said softly, approaching the Alpha gently and handing him the cup. âGot you a coffee. Howâre you feeling?â
âLike shit,â Bones grunted, reluctantly accepting the drink. âKinda didnât think youâd come back.âÂ
âIâm here,â Bucky smiled sadly. âIâm not giving up on you.â
Brock rolled his eyes at that. âOh yeah? And what if Iâm giving up on me?â
âWell, I'm not gonna let you," Bucky said, sitting down on the bed. "We're gonna figure this out.â
They were both silent for a minute, and Bucky watched as Brock drank his coffee with a grimace.Â
âWhy are you doing this?" he growled, though there was little heat in it. He seemed exhausted.Â
"Because I care about you,â Bucky said. âWe were both really worried, Bones."
"You ain't fuckin worried about me. You're just stuck with me 'cause I fuckin' forced it on you.â
Bucky knew exactly what he meant. Neither of them had chosen to bond with Rumlow, they were all well aware of that fact. But theyâd been over this in therapy before. Even if theyâd bonded, they were under no obligation to be together now. They didnât have to live together, theyâd chosen to do that. So why was Brock bringing this up again?
âIt kind of sounds like youâre coming up with reasons you think you shouldnât be with us,â Bucky said eventually.Â
âWell, thereâs a lot of âem,â Brock shrugged. âThought youâd be happy to hear âem.â
âHappy? Iâm not happy, Bones-â Bucky broke off. The scent - Pierceâs cologne - was still hanging heavily in the room, and the thought that it might be on the bedsheets was making his skin crawl. He got up and went over to the window and forced opened the old latch, letting out the stench.Â
âYou know that smell, dontcha?â, he heard Rumlow say.
âYeah,â Bucky said curtly, still with his back to him. He didnât want Brock to see how much it was affecting him, because heâd just start with the self-blame again and that would get them nowhere. âI know that smell, but I donât know whatâs going on. Why do you have Pierceâs cologne? I know you had it back at the house because Zemo spilled it when he was going through your stuff.â
âYeah, Iâve had it a long time,â Brock admitted. âWasnât actually his, but itâs the same kind.â
Bucky finally felt strong enough to face him, so he turned back to his mate and walked over to him. Aware that he was towering over Rumlow who was still on the floor, he sat down on the floor across from him. âSoâŚwhy do you have it?â
Brock shrugged, keeping his eyes on the carpet. âI dunno, itâs justâŚI need it. Youâre not gonna understand.â
âTry me.â
âNo, youâre gonna freak out.â
Bucky frowned. âWhy do you think that?â
âBecause I know what he did to you!â, Brock snapped, and Bucky felt the tangled mess of pain in the bond flare sharply. âWhat the Baron said, about Round One of the Crossbones Project back in the â60s. How PierceâŚhow heâŚâ Brock made a choked noise, then squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head from side to side. âWhat he did to you.â
Bucky swallowed, feeling his throat tightening and his breathing pick up even as he wanted to stay calm. âOh. That.â
âYeah.â
There was a long silence for a moment. âLook,â Bucky said eventually. âI know we never got around to talking about that, but itâs something Iâm still dealing with.â
âYou talk to the Baron about it?â
âYeah, a little.â
âBut not me.â
âI tried, okay?â, Bucky protested. âAfter I found out, I tried to talk but you didnât want to. And then Zemo got sick, and there was never a good moment to bring it all up again.â
âSo itâs my fault, is that what youâre saying?â
âBones, can you please stop finding a way to blame yourself for everything? Itâs not your fault we didnât have a chance to talk, and itâs not your fault that happened to me in the first place. You werenât even born then!â
Brock didnât say anything, but he nodded slowly and seemed to be taking in what Bucky had said. Bucky hoped that was a sign they were moving in the right direction.
âIs that something you wanna talk about?â he asked.
Brock took another sip of his coffee. âYeah. I thinkâŚI wanna know what you remember. And I know youâre gonna say itâs not, but I feel like itâs on me too. So I just gotta know.â
I guess weâre doing this. âOkay,â Bucky said. âBut can you take a shower first? I canât do this if you smell like him.â
Brock got to his feet a little unsteadily. âYeah, I can do that. âS the least I can doâŚâ
âThanks. See you after, then.â
âUh huh.â
 *
While Brock was in the shower, Bucky pulled the sheets off the bed and dumped them in a laundry cart that had been left at the end of the motel hallway. Luckily, the staff at the front desk were happy to give him fresh ones. Bucky decided not to mention the broken lock until they checked out the next morning. He was tired, and there was no way he was driving all the way back to Cape Cod today. And Brock was in no state to drive.Â
He might not even want to come back with you, he thought wearily, but he pushed that thought aside firmly. They were gonna talk, and get something to eat, and everything would be fine because it had to be. Because they all wanted this enough to work for it. Sleeping might be awkward. But if worse came to worse, he could see if they had another room available for him, or even sleep in the car.Â
Heâd just finished changing the sheets when Brock came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. Bucky noticed that there was a fresh bruise on his side, but didnât comment on it. Brock always got defensive about his injuries, always had. Bucky remembered that. Unless it was serious, it wasnât worth bringing up because Rumlow would deal with it himself.
âI brought some things from home,â Bucky said, opening the duffel bag heâd packed that morning. âHere, I got you some clothes.â
âThanks,â Rumlow said, reaching out to take the grey t-shirt, boxers and the worn pair of blue jeans he handed him. Then he went back into the bathroom to change.
Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, taking deep, steadying breaths. He didnât want to talk about it, but he could do it. Probably. If he couldnât thenâŚwell, theyâd just have to figure this out some other way. He still didnât understand why Rumlow wanted to talk about this now, but he figured that it must have something to do with him being his Pack Leader.
Brock came out of the bathroom, wearing the fresh clothes and towelling his hair dry. He looked a little better, or at least more present. He hung the towel on the door, and then took a seat in the armchair next to the open window. His black denim jacket was draped over the arm, and he reached into the pocket and fished out a cigarette which he lit and inhaled.
âSo. What do you wanna know?â Bucky asked.
Brock exhaled a cloud of smoke. It mingled with his own musky scent, no longer covered by the acrid stink of the cologne. âWhat did you tell Zemo?â
âI told him I didnât remember much, but that there was this guy who Winter thought of as âHYDRA Steveâ.â
âThe fuck?â
Bucky shrugged. âCoincidence. Pierce just really looked Steve when he was younger. And they were both Alphas. Winter didnât always know the difference between them.â
âAnd youâŚremember what he did to you?â
âYeah,â Bucky said. âParts of it. Like it said in the Crossbones book; I was sedated, and there were other Alphas. Not just him.âÂ
Rumlow nodded tightly and exhaled smoke through his nose. âYeah, I know.â
âBut itâs him you care about right?â
Brock didnât reply, just smoked in silence for a moment before saying. âI wanna know, if thatâs the only time he did that to you. Itâs been going âround my head ever since I found out.â
Bucky hadnât been expecting that, and he wasnât sure that Brock was going to like what he had to say.Â
âThe truth is, I donât know. I had no idea theyâd even tried to bond me back then, before Zemo showed us the book. Iâve kind of had to make peace with the fact that Iâm probably never going to get all my memories back, and maybe thatâs for the best.â
âSo, you really donât know? About Pierce?â
âHe did it once: that was enough.â
Rumlow nodded. âYeah, I figured youâd say something like that. Sorry.â
Bucky noticed that Brock was scratching the scars on his cheek with the hand not holding the cigarette.Â
âI always knew there was somethingâŚoff âbout how he treated you. I just couldn't see it, or I didnât wanna see it. I dunno. Itâs fucked up. I should have protected you.â
Bucky sighed. âItâs over now, Brock. No use thinking about what you should have done.â
Brock stood up and flicked the end of the cigarette out the window. âItâs not over.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, part of me wants to kill him all over again. But another part of me knows I couldnât do it, even now.â
âHe still has a hold over you, huh?â
Brock nodded. âYeah. You could say that. He was my Pack Leader. There was a bunch of us in HYDRA, all Alphas. And heâd look after us, keep us in line, that sorta thing. He had certain, certain, you knowâŚâ
âResponsibilities?â
âNah. Privileges, he called âem. Including mating rights - anâ mating rights over anyone bonded to one of his pack.â
âYouâre telling meâŚâ Bucky felt sick. He knew Pierce had raped him, but the fact that Brock thought Pierce had an ongoing ârightâ to do that? That was fucked up in so many ways.Â
âI donât know if he ever did ,â Brock said quickly. âBut he couldâve, and I couldnât have done anything about it. Itâs what Iâve been tryinâ to tell you. I couldnât protect you, even though I wanted to.â
âWhat do you mean âcouldnât have done anything?ââ Bucky snapped, his anger peaking. âYou were the one who chose to obey him!â
Brock shook his head resignedly. âNo. It donât work like that.â
âWhat?â
âZemo would get it. Heâs an Omega, but itâs the same thing. What a Pack Leader says, goes. Thereâs no arguing, it just is. Unless youâre gonna challenge for leadership. Thatâs how it was in HYDRA."
Bucky thought about this for a moment. He knew that Brock cared about him, of course he did. Otherwise he wouldnât be so messed up about all this. What he didnât understand was how his mate could have carried on, knowing that that was a possibility.Â
âHow could you live with it?â, Bucky asked. âKnowing that he couldâve done whatever he wanted to me?âÂ
âI dunno,â Brock sighed. âI guess I just tried to believe he wouldnât. No one was supposed to even touch you. I figured heâd know that it would mess with the programming, so I tried not to think about it.â
â...Youâre right: I donât get it,â Bucky said eventually. âBut maybe I donât have to. If you say you didnât have a choice, then I believe you.â
âWhat, just like that?â
âYeah, because I know youâre telling the truth. Thatâs how it was for you. I saw how protective you were over Zemo, and I didnât understand it because Iâd never seen you act like that before. But I know you couldnât have behaved like that in HYDRA, because it would have been dangerous for both of us.â
Brock huffed, running a hand through his still damp hair. âPretty much. Yeah.â
âDoesnât explain why this room stinks of him, though.â
Brock looked uncomfortable, and crossed his arms in front of him. âIt gets worse.â
âTell me.â
Brock fixed his eyes on the floor and said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, âDonât think I can.â
âPlease tell me,â Bucky said. âIf you really canât, itâs okay. But whatever it is, Iâm not gonna be mad at you, I promise. I just want to understand.â
âOkay...you remember sometimes we couldnât fuck because Iâd knot up all tight before I even got inside you?Â
âUmâŚI donât remember. I know that if you knot first you canât always get hard. Is that what you mean?â
âYeah, it kind ofâŚlocks up. Point is, I knew we couldnât mate because my Pack Leader didnât give me permission. And heâdâŚheâd make me knot for him.â
Bucky felt his heart pounding in his chest, but he kept silent. He knew how important it was for Brock to get the words out in his own time.
âIn front of the other Alphas,â Rumlow went on, eyes still fixed on the floor. âAnâ heâd bite me while he had me pinned where everyone could see. Anâ heâd⌠get me off. Because I needed his permission to drop it and cum. Heâd trained me to knot on command. It felt like he owned me.â
âNo one owns you, Brock,â Bucky said. âNo one can .â
âThen why do I still get all knotted up and I canât let go, huh? Why do I still have to spray that cologne and imagine heâs there, biting me, telling me to cum for him? Heâs still my Pack Leader. Even though heâs dead.â
âBones, thatâs⌠Iâm so sorry that happened to you.â
Brock frowned. âNo, donât you get it? I wanted it. I still get off on it now. Sometimes itâs the only thing that can make me calm down. Being a fucking bitch for that-â he shook his head. â- that bastard .â
âThat doesnât mean it wasnât forced on you,â Bucky said eventually. âYou were a victim-â
âNo! I wasnât the victim!â Brock snapped. âIt feltâŚit felt right . And if I really wanted, I coulda walked away any time...â
âBut..didnât you just say âwhat a Pack Leader says, goes. Thereâs no arguing, it just isâ?â
âI knew you wouldnât get it,â Brock said with a sigh. He pulled on his jacket. âYou got my phone? Itâs getting late and I need to call the Baron.â
âUmâŚyeah, sure,â Bucky said, unsettled by this abrupt end to the conversation. He got up and rummaged around in the duffel bag until he found it and handed it to Brock.
Brock took it without a word and walked over to the door. âI need some air,â he said, but seeing the expression of alarm on Buckyâs face, Brock added. âIâll come back, donât worry.â
âPromise?â
âPromise.â
*
Outside, Brock paced up and down in the parking lot for a few minutes before finally pulling up the courage to call his mate. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Zemo to pick up.
"Hey, Baron."
"Brock. I'm so relieved to hear your voice, moj tigric."
Zemo sounded tired, and Brock felt bad for disturbing him.
"Did I wake you?'
"Yes, but I needed to get up and have some dinner anyway."
"And you're okay to do that?"
"Yes, I'm feeling a lot better now. How are you? I was worried."
"I'm fine, you don't got to worry about me."
"I will as long as we're apart. We shouldn't be this far apart when our bond is still so new."
Brock knew Zemo was right, but he could barely feel anything through his end of the bond. If one of them disappeared, there's no way I'd be able to track them down through the bond, Brock thought sadly. They made me try that in HYDRA and it never worked, but Win could always find me.Â
"IâŚ" Brock realized he didn't know what to say. "Sorry I left. I didn't wanna leave you."
"I know you didn't. It's because James told you to go, wasn't it? You thought he meant that he wanted you to leave?"
"Yeah. But then he showed up here and he says he wants me to come back."
"Because he does, Brock. We both do."
I can't promise him anything, Brock thought. I don't wanna let him down again. If I can't work things out with BuckyâŚthen it's not gonna work.Â
"Just wanted to call an'...and say sorry for acting how I did," he said. "Wasn't right. I was totally out of control."
"I accept your apology. I'm also sorry for how I behaved."
"Nah, don't worry about it."
There was silence for a moment and then Brock heard Zemo say, " I wish you were both here with me now."
Yeah, me too, Brock thought. But when he tried to picture it, he found that couldn't. He couldn't protect Winter. He couldn't protect Zemo, so he didn't deserve to be with them.Â
"What are you thinking, moj tigric?"
"You're better off without me."
"Why do you think that?"
"'cos I'm no good. I can't act like an Alpha, it doesn't work. I get possessive of you and want to fight Bucky. It was different with Win."
"Because he was like an Omega?"
"Yeah, exactly. Didn't make me all crazy."
"And you had a Pack Leader."
"Yeah. I dunno what to do, Zemo."
âWhat do you want?â
âI just wanna know everyone's safe. That no oneâs gonna hurt you or Bucky: including me..â
"I don't think that's too much to ask, Brock. We both want that too."
âI jusââŚI canât be Pack Leader. Itâs not gonna work. Iâll go crazy again like I did with you," Brock paused and inhaled a shaky breath. "I know Iâm notâŚ.I'm not okay. I got a lot of shit to deal with. I jus' donât wanna hurt no one."
When he next spoke he heard the waver in his voice. "But Iâm an Alpha, and if Iâm with you I gotta be Pack Leader, donât I?â
"Why do you think that?"
Brock shrugged. âItâs just how things work. Thereâs got to be a hierarchy. Order. Thatâs how it works, otherwise itâsâŚlike this."
"I mean, why do you think it has to be you? It could be Bucky. It could even be me, though I don't feel that that's right for us, somehow."
"The hell you talking about, Baron?"
"I know I don't often speak about the past," Zemo said. "But I was Pack Leader, at one time."
"What? How?"
"It doesn't matter your designation. It's more complicated, and I think part of you understands that."
Brock was still reeling from the revelation that his Omega had been a pack leader. "So what you're saying is it could be Bucky? In theory?"
"Yes, but it's up to him. Now, I must go and have something to eat. Have something nice yourself, won't you?"
"Yeah, we can order out or something."
"Okay. Call me tomorrow morning?"
"Sure, Baron,â Brock sighed. âTalk tomorrow.â
âI love you, moj tigric.â
âNight.âÂ
*
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*
When Brock came back into the room, Bucky was already in the bathroom taking a shower. He toed his shoes off, then flopped back onto the clean sheets his mate had put on the bed and closed his eyes. He was still exhausted from the night before. Heâd slept all day yesterday, but it felt like it was more than that. He was so tired his bones hurt. The static of the bond kept flaring up loudly, and he couldn't keep it muted unless he had something to drink. He hadn't had a drop yet today, so that wasn't helping either.
But he'd promised Bucky he'd come right back after his call with Zemo, so he couldn't go back across the street and get something. Brock sighed wearily. He'd just wait for Bucky to finish showering, and then he'd tell him he was going over there. It's not like he had anything to hide.
He dug through the things that Bucky had brought, and took a couple of Tylenol with some water and opened a bag of chips. He didn't realize how hungry he was until he started eating - made sense, though, since he hadn't had anything since lunch the day before.Â
Brock turned the TV on and flipped the channels to some cooking show while he ate. He couldn't cook for shit, but it was a good distraction. He liked watching the Baron make food when he was in the kitchen. Maybe he'd ask him to show him how to make those little meat pastries some time. It was such a mundane, domestic thought, that it caught Brock off guard. Part of him still couldn't believe that he was going home with Bucky tomorrow. He hadn't even consciously made the decision, but as soon as Bucky had said that they wanted him to come home, he knew how much he'd wanted that too. He just hadn't believed it was going to work. Maybe he'd never believed that. Maybe that was the problem: he didn't believe that he actually deserved to be with them.Â
What is it they see in me? Brock thought, glancing at the bathroom door. Why did Bucky come all this way? Does he really think I'm worth it?
Brock felt like a mess. The only time he'd ever had his shit together had been in HYDRA, and even then he hadn't had to manage his own money, or even lived on his own. Everything was dictated to him by somebody else, and that was how heâd functioned his entire adult life.
Why did I ever think I could have been Pack Leader? , he thought. I canât even take care of myself. No way I could look after both of them too. Zemo was right: just because Iâm an Alpha, doesnât mean Iâm leadership material.Â
Brockâs train of thought was interrupted when Bucky came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. He had on a pair of grey sweatpants he'd brought with him and he was towelling his hair dry.Â
Brock's eyes traveled over his chest, lingering on the scars that spread across his left pectoral. They were faded, less pronounced than they had been. Brock had a sudden memory of massaging Winter after a mission. He'd used oil and worked carefully along the ridge of the shoulder blade, down to where the muscles got all tight and knotted. There was never the option of removing Winterâs arm back then because the wires were attached to muscles under the skin. Even though his mate was used to it, Brock knew that it caused him pain and heâd wanted to do everything in his power to ease that hurt. It was the least he could do for him back then.Â
It didnât hurt now. Bucky could easily remove the new prosthetic himself when he wanted to. But even though his new arm didn't cause his mate pain, Brock still wanted to take care of him and make sure he was alright.Â
"Think I figured something out," Brock said slowly.
Bucky hung the towel up on the back of the door, and turned to face him. "Yeah?"
"I think I wanted to be Pack Leader so I could take care of both of you, like I took care of Winter.â
Bucky crossed the space between them and took a seat tentatively on the edge of the bed.
âBut you don't need that,â Brock continued. âYou're different now, and Zemo- well, he's been sick and sometimes he likes having a fuss made of him, but he doesn't need me to protect him."
Bucky seemed to think about this for a moment before he said slowly, "In HYDRA, we were in danger all the time, even when we were supposed to be safe. And now we are safe, but it doesn't always feel like it. It's hard to trust that sometimes."
"I know what PTSD is."
"I know you do. And I know what it feels like to be on edge all the time, just in case something goes down and you need to act. I'm guessing the Alpha stuff makes that worse, huh?"
Brock nodded. "Yeah, when I went out to the bakery, and came back and Zemo wasn't in bed? That was bad ."
"Because he was sick?", Bucky asked.Â
"Uh-huh. I was half a step from freaking out since I couldn't be with him at the hospital. And I thought you were the one gettinâ between us because you smell like an Alpha. So it was like I was being replaced, or something."
Bucky sighed, running a hand through his wet hair. "That sounds exhausting."
"Pretty much."
There was a pause, before Bucky said, "You know you can ask for help if you need it, right?"
Brock shrugged. "Already go to therapy, don't I?"
"Yeah, but I mean for yourself,â Bucky insisted. âYou have a lot of your own issues. Maybe you could find someone to help you with Alpha stuff?"
"I dunnoâŚ"
"Just think about it. You don't have to, but I know having someone to talk to who's not gonna judge helps me a lot."
"Maybe,â Brock conceded. âCan we get some real food now? I'm starving."Â
*
They ordered pizza. Pepperoni, sausage and green pepper. They ate it on the bed, letting the cooking show run and half-watching it as they ate. They sat a little apart on either side of the double bed, not quite ready to be close to one another until theyâd talked about everything they needed to.Â
âThis reminds me of somethinâ,â Brock said, putting a pizza crust back into the box. âRemember the hotel?â
Bucky turned to look at him with a frown. âWhat hotel?â
âEh, it was in Europe somewhere. Paris, maybe? There was some volcano thing, it shut down all the flights out. All the shitty hotels were bought up âcause no one could get out. So they put us up in this fancy place until they could get us extracted. We had room service, hot showers, nice sheets, and it was just you and me.â
Brock glanced at his mate to see if there was a flicker of recognition, but instead Bucky smiled back at him sadly.Â
âI donât remember,â he said apologetically. âBut it sounds nice.â
Brock sighed. âYeah, it was. Just had a whole night together, no interruptions, no shitty powdered food for you, no rushing. We had a bath together, ordered a bottle of wine and some ally-carte menu stuff. Listened to some musicâŚ.it was nice.â
Bucky nodded slowly, his eyes far away as if picturing the scene Brock had described. Then something shifted, and his expression hardened. âI mostly remember the bad stuff,â he said. âI wish I remembered times like that too.â
âYeah. Well, there werenât many of âem.â
He smiled gently. âGood thing weâve got time to make up for it now then, right?â
Brock didnât respond. He wanted to believe that, but he still didnât feel all that optimistic about the future. He didnât know how they were gonna resolve all these issues he kept dragging up and bridge the gap that had opened up between them. He decided to change the subject.
"Haven't had pizza from this place in years," he said, taking another slice. "It's good, right?"
Bucky nodded. "Yeah, pretty good."
There was a pause, filled by the commentary of the TV chef who was pouring rum onto a steak to flambĂŠ the meat. I never went to the store for the booze , Brock thought. But he was unwilling to get up and go over there now.
"You miss DC?", Bucky asked.
Brock thought about this for a moment. "Sometimes, I guess. It beats New York. Never liked living there."
"That why you came back here?"
Brock shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Nah, wasn't thinking about settlin' down or nothing. Just trying to get as far away from you both as possible. I just ended up here."
"Seems like a strange coincidence," Bucky said. "Considering what happened when we were both here last."
Brock rubbed the scars on his neck, in his mind seeing the Triskelion burning. The smoke, thick and choking and the molten metal of the building that collapsed around him - and his mate digging him out of the rubble.
He shrugged, pushing the memories away and grabbing another slice of pizza. âDidnât mean to come back here. This is the last place I'd wanna be. I got into a fight on the bus and they kicked me out.â
âWere you drunk?â, Bucky asked.Â
Brock nodded, not meeting his eye. âYeah.â
âBones," Bucky said carefully. "You know you have a problem with drinking, right?â
Brock sighed and slumped down in his seat. âI got problems with a lot of things. Just another one to add to the list."
Bucky picked up the remote and turned off the TV. The sudden silence felt weird.
âYou know, I didnât realize youâd think I was kicking you out,â he said. âI just needed you to go cool off so I could deal with Zemo.â
Get out . Buckyâs words still echoed in Brockâs mind. A direct order that had to be obeyed without question.Â
âYou know I didnât mean it, right?â
âYeah, I know that now. But it stillâŚâ
âHurt?â
Brock nodded. âUh-huhâ.
Bucky sighed. âIâm sorry, Bones. None of this comes naturally to me. Iâm a Beta, remember.â
âThen how come youâre trying to take my place as Pack Leader, huh?â Brock challenged. â Iâm the Alpha, itâs my job to be the one in charge of us.â He clenched his fists and let out a long exhale. âBut I fucked it up âcos I donât know how to do it right. The only Pack Leader I ever knew was Pierce, andâŚâ
You really are Pierce's boy, huh? Buckyâs words from when heâd bonded to Zemo came back to Brock now. âI donât⌠I canât be like that.â
Bucky shook his head. âNo. It doesnât have to be that way,â he said firmly. â You donât have to be like that, I promise.
âI donâtâŚâ Brock swallowed. âI donât even want that. I justâŚI thought I had to.â His chest was tight and he felt his hands shaking with the effort of keeping himself together. If he fell apart now, he didnât know what would happen, but at the same time he felt it. Piece by piece, everything heâd built up was coming down.Â
âI donât want to be like Pierce,â he said again. âI donât want that. Iâd never hurt you both, never. Iâd rather die âŚâ
âItâs okay,â Bucky said quickly. âWe can fix this.â
Brock shook his head, trying to blink back the tears he felt pricking his eyes. âNah. Iâm done. Canât do nothinâ. Iâm no good.â
âThen I can fix this,â Bucky insisted. âYou did what I said before, right?â
Brock frowned at him. âYeah, I guess.â
âYou came all the way here because you thought I told you to leave.â
âYeah?â
âSoâŚthat means I'm your Pack Leader right?â
Brock got to his feet quickly. âNo, youâre notâŚI donâtâŚ. youâre not like him.â
It wasnât that there was an empty hole inside of him in the shape of a Pack Leader that Bucky could simply fill. They were mates, Bucky was already a part of him, and had been for a long time. No, Brock suddenly felt that it was him who was the wrong shape. He was the one who didnât fit with this new person that Winter had become, and it was tearing them apart trying to fit together.Â
Stop trying to be who Winter needed you to be. Who you had to be, to protect him.
âYou wanna be Pack Leader?â, he growled, instinctively shifting into a fighting stance.Â
*
Bucky felt a rush of hormones surging through his blood, Alpha instincts rising to the surface.Â
This is how Winter had felt all the time; back then, everything was instinctive. Except that was Omega: this was Alpha.
âYou wanna be Pack Leader?â, Brock growled.
"Well, yeah. I do," Bucky said, getting up off the bed and mirroring the Alpha's posturing. "I think I already am."
The rush of hormones was a little overwhelming, and it gave Brock an opening to tackle him to the ground. His mate held him there, body pressed flush against his own, panting heavily. Bucky pushed up against his weight, all that soft skin and hard muscles, just enough to feel his mate strain to keep him down. The Alphaâs eyes were dark, his pupils dilated. He bared his teeth at Bucky, and he heard a rumbling growl rise from his throat.Â
An answering one rose from his own, and before Bucky could think about what he was doing, he was sitting up and sinking his teeth into Brock's neck. The Alpha yelped in surprise, but he didn't move from his position on top of him. So Bucky grabbed him by the waist and flipped them both over, rolling Brock onto his back.
Part of him expected his mate to give up and submit right there, but instead the Alpha started fighting him with everything he had, straining against him until he managed to wriggle free of the hold and get to his feet.Â
Bucky was on his feet too, and now he was the one tackling Brock back onto the bed. This time he made sure to pin him down firmly beneath him, using not just his hands but pressing his full body down against him, hands locked on his upper arms and legs braced over his thighs, so that there was no way the Alpha could get free. Brock struggled against him, panting hard, still trying escape his hold. He growled at Bucky, baring his teeth as if to say how ferocious he was, but they both knew that he couldn't move.
Bucky felt a satisfied rumble rise in his chest, and he bent his head to Brock's neck, licking the bite he'd made.
Brock froze, and as Bucky continued grooming him he heard a small whine escape the Alpha's lips. He had stopped struggling against him, and now he was weakly pushing his hips up against Bucky, though he couldn't move much in this position.Â
Bucky rocked his hips against him- hardly having to use any force to hold Brock down any more - he was still moving, but his struggles had become rhythmic, pressing up with his hips into Buckyâs. They were both getting hard, but it didn't seem to matter right now. All he cared about was making the Alpha submit; he wanted to feel his knot, wanted Brock to show him that he was the one in charge. To know that they both accepted it.
And soon enough, Brock moaned, pressing his hips up against him so that Bucky could feel the full, swollen bulb of his knot through his pants.
âDoesâŚdoes that feel good?â Bucky panted.
âYeahâŚâ Bones gasped between heaving breaths. âReal good. Buck⌠I need it.â
âI can feel it,â Bucky replied - and he really could. For once, his bond with Brock was alive , clear and strong - and he could feel the desperate need in his mate, peaking in time with each thrust of his hips. "You feel so good, you're such a good boyâŚâ
Brock moaned and let his neck fall back, exposing his neck in a submissive gesture as if to say what he couldnât out loud, 'I'm yours, do what you want with me.'
Bucky leaned in and began kissing his neck, nipping with his teeth at the sensitive areas around his scent glands. Brock whined when he circled the spot and bucked his hips against him.
âPlease," he begged, the sound quiet and hoarse. "Please, BuckâŚ"
âYouâre doing real good. You're being so good for me."
Bucky fumbled with his zipper, pulling his pants down over his hips. Brock seemed dazed and unable to move so he tugged his mate's down too, tearing the zipper in his eagerness. "Can IâŚ?" Bucky hesitated, his fingers hooked into the waistband of Brock's boxer shorts.Â
"Yeah," Brock said quickly, lifting his hips up so that Bucky could pull them down too.Â
His cock was fully erect, and there was precum leaking from the head, sliding down the shaft. On the underside at the base was the knot, swollen up for him. Bucky wrapped a hand gently around his mate's cock, then took a few seconds to slide down the bed, push himself up in between his mateâs spread legs, and leaned in and gently licked his mate's knot.Â
Brock's reaction was instantaneous, moaning loudly, "Oh fuck, pleaseâŚ" pushing his hips up to get more of the sensation. Bucky licked at him again, no longer teasing, but mouthing and sucking, tenderly taking first one side of the knot and then the other side into his mouth.Â
He could feel his mate's pleasure thrumming through the bond now. It was almost overwhelming, and left his Alpha's head completely empty except for the sensation.Â
He's so trusting , Bucky thought. Just giving me the most vulnerable part of his body. Â
Bucky felt the soft, swollen skin throbbing under his tongue, pulsing very slightly in response to the stimulation he was giving it. He felt the cock in his hand spilling more precum over his fist and Bucky started to move his hand in time with the pulsing of his mate's knot.Â
The noise Brock made was pure need and desperation rising up from his core and when Bucky looked up into his mate's eyes, they were dark and desperately wanting.Â
Bucky moved back slightly, taking in the way Brock was spread out under him, then he slid two fingers between Brockâs balls and the base of his knot.Â
"Such a good boy," he praised.Â
Brock whined open-mouthed as Bucky gently lifted his fingers, pulling very slightly. Brock squirmed, his eyes fluttering closed. He felt suddenly very still and peaceful in the bond, and he knew his Alpha was calmly submitting and accepting what was happening to him. He held his mate like this for a moment, before Brock opened his eyes and smiled up at him.Â
Bucky released him, and then he was on top of him kissing him, slowly at first but as Brock opened to him, the kiss deepened. He felt so close to him, like he might be able to cum just from this aloneâŚ
Bucky knelt up, sliding his own boxers off. His cock stood out from his body, fully hard and as he wrapped his hand around it and gave it a light stroke, a wave of pleasure coursed through him and precum spilled from the end onto Brock's abs.Â
When he lay back down on top of him, Brock wrapped his legs around his waist, pressing his cock against himÂ
âDoes that feel good?â Bucky asked, rocking against him, as their cocks pressed together and they began to build a steady rhythm.Â
"Fuck yes, so good," Brock moaned. Bucky captured his mouth again, licking into his lips and devouring his mouth.
Brock opened for him, giving him everything until they became just breath and body and heat, and Bucky felt his mate all around him, feeling through the bond how good it was for his mate to just let go, let go of everything and just let it happen. Bucky could feel his mate's pleasure cresting as their pace increased, he was so close, so closeâŚ
âAre you gonna cum?â, Bucky panted against his lips.Â
âI wannaâŚ" Brock begged. "I wanna cum so bad for you, Bucky, please!"
"I know you want to," Bucky said, kissing his lips, his neck. "You've done so well for me."
"PleaseâŚ"
"Cum for me," Bucky commanded, biting down on his neck.
Instantly, Brockâs knot released, and he gasped as he spilled between them. It was so much pleasure, so much pure release that it pulled Bucky over the edge and he came, rocking against his mate.Â
"I love you," Bucky panted, collapsing on top of his mate. "So, so much. I never want to be apart from you again."
Brock seemed unable to talk, as if he was beyond words, but he quietly nuzzled into his Bucky, inhaling his scent.Â
*
Some time later, Bucky felt a warm humming sensation in the bond, and then the uneven rumble of his mateâs purr coming from his chest. They were still lying in each other's arms, unwilling to move even to get cleaned up.Â
Bucky was grooming the bite heâd made on his mateâs neck, and already the wound was beginning to heal. He felt strangely protective of Brock right now, as if he had a duty to look out for him.
"Pierce never would have groomed me, after a bite," Brock said.
Bucky looked at him, suddenly filled with concern. "Was thatâŚdid I do it wrong?"
"NoâŚ.I think it was right,â Brock said slowly. âI just didn't know that before you did it. He used to pin us on our front so thereâd be no way to show we were submitting. You couldnât turn over or move, so youâd just have to go limp and let it happen.â
âLet what happen?â
âWhatever he wanted. Usually heâd bite really hard right here,â Brock said, rubbing the back of his neck. âYou remember I used to have a scar here?â
âUhâŚyeah, I think so.â Bucky frowned. His mateâs words had sparked a memory, and not a good one. âI rememberâŚWinter got upset because he thought he'd done that to you."
Brock sighed. âYeah, that happened a lot, âcos heâd forget and try to groom it. Itâs gone now, see?â
He turned onto his side and Bucky leaned in, tracing the shiny pink of the burn scar on the back of his mateâs neck. âYeah, thereâs nothing here.â
âThe one good thing about getting burned. Means Iâm free of him.â
Bucky couldnât help snuggling up against him, putting his arm around his mate and holding him close as they drifted off to sleep.
*
Bucky was sleepily curled around Brock, and stirred when he felt a presence at his back. He knew that it was his other mate from his sweet scent and the sound of his breathing.
"Zemo?"
"Mmm. Yes. James, I'm here."
Bucky turned over to face him, but he couldn't see clearly, only feel the weight of Zemo's body and the warmth of him there in the bed beside them.
"Am I dreaming?"
He could almost hear Zemo smile as he murmured, "Most likely."
Bucky felt the bond as a warm, glowing thread that connected them. You could never be lost, Bucky thought, when you had that to draw you back to the one you loved.Â
"I felt it," Zemo said, tracing a pattern on Bucky's chest with the tips of his fingers. "He's calm now."
"Yes," Bucky replied, reaching up to kiss his mate's lips. Soft, opening for him, promising moreâŚ."I wish you were really here."
Zemo nodded, moving over to kiss Brock on the shoulder, and then on the claiming bite that Bucky had given him. "I wish that he could feel me. Bring him home, James."
"I will."
*
Their ride home the next day went well. The early morning sky was clear, the roads almost empty - it felt like the universe itself wanted the three of them back together as soon as possible. Bucky drove, rolling the window down to enjoy the crisp, fall air.Â
As they drove, Bones simply gazed at his mate, watching the way the muscles in his arms moved as he drove,the soft expression of concentration on his face. Their bond was wavering, but it was still much stronger than heâd ever felt before last night.
His knot, however, seemed to have developed a will of its own. Heâd woken up in Buckyâs arms that night with it flaring against his mateâs leg, so firm and tight it almost ached. Then, again, when they got up, heâd felt that familiar swelling sensation in his boxers, and he was knotting again.
It would have been embarrassing, losing control of his body to someone else like this. But this wasnât anyone else. This was Bucky . Bones almost felt proud of how his body was reacting to his new Pack Leader. As he continued to watch him, once again his knot began to bulge, and he palmed it through his clothes hesitantly. As good and right as this felt⌠there had to be something more to his submission.
He rubbed the spot on his neck that used to be scarred by Pierceâs teeth. Submission wasnât just cuddles and sex and knotting. He wondered what his new Pack Leader might want from him, what heâd have to give in order to stay part of his new pack. Heâd do pretty much anything to have this, and Bucky probably knew thatâŚ
But he could figure that out later. Right now, there was something he needed to do.
âWait,â Bones said suddenly as they reached the eastern side of the Theodore Roosevelt Memorial Bridge. âCan you turn off here?â
âYou wanna see the Lincoln Memorial?â Bucky joked, but turned off as his mate had requested.
âNo, jusâ... down here, pull over a sec.âÂ
There was a little turnoff alongside the river where Bucky stopped. It was lined with trees, their leaves turning orange as summer drew to a close. Bones got out and rummaged around in the trunk for a moment, and then walked over to the edge of the river. Cautiously, Bucky got out too and followed him over.
âWhat are you doing?â
âGettinâ rid of something I donât want no more,â Bones replied, then drew his arm back and flung what he was holding as far as he could. Bucky caught sight of the glass bottle glinting in the morning sunlight as it arced through the air, then it vanished with a splash into the depths of the Potomac.
They stood together quietly for a moment. Through their bond, Bucky could feel the usual static from his mate, but he was transmitting something else too. Hope.
âLetâs go,â Rumlow said, giving Bucky a reassuring pat on the back.
*
âI know we wanna get home to Zemo soon,â Bucky said after a couple more hours on the road. âBut I really need to get some food. Is there somewhere nearby that makes a good breakfast?â
âIâll check.â Bones pulled out his phone, and smiled to see Zemo had sent him a message. It was just a simple kiss, but it still warmed his heart. He switched to the maps app. âOkay, so off this junction ahead - itâs a short drive - but thereâs a place that does grits, omelettes, all that kinda stuff."
âGreat, direct me.â
*
As they finished up their breakfast a little while later, Bucky offered his mate a warm smile. âHow are you finding it?â
Brock looked up from his plate. âHuh?â
âYou know.â Bucky tapped the side of his head gently, then carefully reached out through their bond. Usually, that would have made Rumlow react - heâd fight to close himself off, ensuring there was hardly any way to connect with him. If Winter had tried it, then Brock would have chastised him, or even punished him. But in the past few hours, heâd been open, accepting⌠warm , even.
âUh, yeah,â he replied, staring down at his empty plate. âI donât know why. But it hurts less now. Sometimes it makes me feel allâŚâ He made a spinning motion with his hands. âIs this what it feels like all the time, for you anâ the Baron?â
âHonestly,â Bucky spoke carefully. âWith us itâs⌠like this, but stronger. I can almost feel like heâs with me, even when weâre not physically together.â
âOh." Bones said thoughtfully, without looking up. âWell. Donât know how much I want that.â
âLetâs take it slow," Bucky said gently, reaching for Bones like he was a frightened wild animal. Rumlow took a deep breath and closed his eyes.Â
Iâm good , he tried to say. Iâm loyal. Iâm yours. Iâm gonna do what you tell me.
Bucky put his mug down. âYou donât need to force it. Just relax. And then Iâll feel what you need me to feel.â
âI⌠I donât wanna,â Brock shook his head, still unable to meet Buckyâs eyes. âNot now.â
âOkay.â Bucky leaned back, and tried to disengage from their bond as much as he could. âOne step at a time, yeah?âÂ
âYeah," Brock said, getting up. "Iâm gonna go piss.â
As Bucky watched him leave, he thought about their fragile, tenuous bond.
Why wouldnât he want to let me in? he wondered, before realizing that he already knew the answer. Heâs scared of what Iâll find there.
*
They kissed in the parking lot before they got into the car, and that made Bonesâs knot inflate again. He cursed as he got into the passenger seat, carefully spreading his legs and easing himself down to protect the sensitive bulb.Â
âThatâs happening to you a lot, isnât it?â Bucky asked softly.
âYeah," Brock grunted. "Alpha thing.â
âSubmission knotting, right?â
âUh-huh.â
âSo itâs because Iâm your Pack Leader now?â
âGuess so.â
Bucky remembered their therapy session, where they talked about Brockâs fling with Steve. How when he'd told them, he'd seemed so ashamed of submitting to the other Alpha.
âYouâre gonna have to help me understand what you need, Bones," he said. "I want to be a good Pack Leader for you, okay?â
âSure," Brock said, shifting in his seat.
Bucky started the car, and got them back on the road in comfortable silence. After a while he asked, "Does it feel like when youâre knotted to one of us?â
âNah. When Iâm knotted to someone, I feel like I can protect us both. I feel strong and like I can keep us safe. But when Iâm sub-knotting, itâs likeâŚ"Â
Bucky felt something rise up in the bond suddenly - shame.
"...like Iâm giving that up to someone else. Like Iâm saying you know whatâs best, Iâll sit back and wait for orders.â
âRight.â
âItâs not always sexual. Like now, Iâm not hard. But it can be. Anâ I canât get off when Iâm knotted, it locks everything up too tight. I gotta wait until it stops by itself, but that can take a long time. Or until my Pack Lea- I mean, you tell me itâs okay to let go.â
âOh. Well, then⌠You donât have to knot for me right now, Bones. Youâve done good.â
Bones let out a deep sigh and relaxed back into his seat, the throbbing in his pants finally releasing. He enjoyed the soft ache in his deflated knot, and the rush of hormones to his brain rewarding his submission.
ââCourse, it works the other way too,â he said after a moment.
âHuh?â
âYou can tell me to knot, and I will. I'd probably get hard too, if you told me to. I'd just have to wait until you let me release it.â
Bucky glanced at Bones, then back to the road. The idea of the alpha next to him instinctively ceding control over such an intimate part of himself filled him with a mix of curiosity and arousal. He was tempted to try it, to tell Bones to knot hard and firm and not drop it until they got home, feel his desperation growing through their bond, knowing he couldnât do anything about it until Bucky finally released him from itâŚ
⌠but he didnât. Instead, he patted Brockâs knee. âLetâs work on making you feel safe first, yeah?â
âYeah,â Bones sighed. "Okay."
And the only emotion Bucky felt above the static, for a fraction of a second, was disappointment.
*
As they got closer to home, Bucky felt himself growing more and more connected to Zemo. But his bond with their other mate wasnât lively or excited - no, it was soft, warm, relaxed - he must be sleeping.
âI know you wanna see Zemo soon,â Bucky said as they pulled onto their driveway. âBut heâs asleep now, and I need you to leave him alone.â
Bones snorted and unbuckled his seatbelt. âHeâs had enough sleep now, I gotta see him-â
Bucky got out of the car and followed him up towards the house. Before Brock could reach the front door, Bucky came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "No," he said firmly. "Zemo needs to rest so that he can get better."
âYeah, and Iâm gonna help him get better!â Bones growled.
Not this again, Bucky thought. After all theyâd been though, it suddenly felt like they were right back at square one. âBones, come on -â
âYou think you know whatâs best for him?â
âYes -â Bucky started to argue. But then, he felt something. It wasnât in their bond. It was something even deeper than that, something rising up from within him. Instinct. âGet down," he ordered, speaking firmly, leaving no room for disobedience.
And it was like a switch suddenly flicked in Rumlow. One moment he was growling in Buckyâs face, and the next he was sinking to his knees, silent, his brown eyes wide and gazing back up at Bucky like he was waiting for his next instruction.
âNow, weâre gonna go inside,â he said, watching Bonesâs face carefully. âAnd you are going to leave Zemo to sleep. Do you understand me?â
âYes si-⌠Bucky,â he swallowed.
âYouâre going to listen to me. Youâre gonna do what I ask.â
âYeah.â
âGood boy.â Bucky bent down, and for a second Rumlow froze, like he thought Bucky was going to hurt him. But instead, Bucky gently kissed his cheek, and stroked his flesh hand along the knelt manâs jawline. As Bucky stood up, he saw Brockâs eyelids flutter, and he looked unfocused, dreamy.
âWant me toâŚâ
âWhat?â
âI dunno⌠blow you?â
â What?" Bucky straightened up suddenly. Rumlowâs gaze was soft, his lips parted, and he trailed his hands up to Buckyâs hips.
Would it be so wrong? Yes, they were outside, but their house was secluded, it was unlikely anyone would see them. And he knew that he could just tell Bones to do it, and heâd take him in his hot, wet mouth, obediently swallowing him down, desperate and needyâŚthe power of that was overwhelming. His cock stirred a little as Brockâs fingers found his belt, and began to unbuckle itâŚ
âNo,â Bucky shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside as he pushed Rumlowâs hands away. It would be cruel to take advantage of his mateâs submission like this, wouldn't it? That wasn't rightâŚ
Rumlow shook his head. âSorry, dunno what I was thinkinâ...thought maybe I had to prove I was gonnaâŚâ
âItâs okay.â Bucky offered him a hand, and Rumlow took it gratefully and got to his feet. âLetâs get inside. Remember what I told you? Youâre gonna be good for me?â
âYep.â
Bucky opened the door and let Rumlow in ahead of him. When Brock dropped his lockbox down on the living room rug and stretched a little, working some kinks out of his back, Bucky noticed once again the bulge in his Alphaâs pants.Â
âBones, did Pierce make you do⌠that when you submitted for him?â
âNah," Rumlow said, walking past him to the living room. Bucky followed him, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
âHe never made me do anything to him," Brock said eventually. "I donât even think he was into guys. But he did stuff to us. Made us do it to ourselves. I guess it was the power. He wanted to see us lose control, give it all over to him.â
âIâm not gonna be like that, I promise,â Bucky said quickly. âYou donât ever have to do anything you donât want to, okay? I donât want you to feel like you have to prove anything to me."
Brock nodded, and flicked on the TV after hunting around for the remote. Bucky assumed that was the end of the conversation, and he was about to go up and check on Zemo when Brock said, âBut what if I wanna, though?â
âHuh?â Bucky turned back to his mate. âYou mean, you want to?â
âNot to prove nothinâ,â Brock said. âButâŚI think it would make me feel good.â As he said the words, Bucky noticed that dreamy, submissive expression come over his face again. It was irresistible.Â
âAre you sure?â
âYeah. Can I?â
Bucky felt his cock hardening at the thought of Bones kneeling in front of him, taking his cock in his mouth while he praised himâŚ
âOkay.â
Instantly, Rumlow sank to his knees obediently, pawing at Buckyâs belt.Â
âSlow down, itâs okay,â Bucky reassured him. âThereâs no rush.â
But Brock barely seemed to hear him. He was desperate, his mouth already open a little as he eased down Buckyâs pants. When he lunged forward to take him in his mouth, Bucky grabbed him by the nape.
âI said slow down. Listen to me like a good boy.â
Bones leaned back on his haunches and looked up to meet Buckyâs gaze. The static of their bond crackled with anticipation.Â
âGood boy. Wait.âÂ
Bucky finished taking off his jeans and underwear, then lazily stroked himself. Bones watched, licking his lips as a bead of precum slipped down his Pack Leaderâs shaft and over his metal fingers. He wanted to jump forward, swallow it down, give his mate the pleasure he deserved - but heâd been told to wait.
He kind of liked making Bones wait while he was so eager, Bucky realized. He wanted to take it slow. He wasnât sure that Bones had ever actually blown him before. He certainly couldnât remember it ever happening. But now, his Alpha was staring at him with those deep brown eyes, pleading with himâŚ
In his own pants, Rumlowâs cock was hard and straining - and as his Pack Leader commanded him to wait , he felt that familiar, warm sensation he knew so well - his knot inflating. In just a few seconds it was heavy and tight, already throbbing as it gently but firmly locked him up.
I canât mate, see? Youâre in charge , his body was trying to tell Bucky. I canât cum until you let me. I canât even penetrate without your permission now . Brock closed his eyes for a moment as that chemical cocktail hit his brain; reward and submission, his bond humming with his Pack Leaderâs approval. It had never felt this good before.
âCome on, now,â Bucky gently guided him forward with a hand cupped around the back of his head, and Bones happily accepted. He took the head of Buckyâs dick into his mouth, and then started working his way down the shaftâŚÂ
âSlowly, remember?â Bucky tugged his head back slightly. âSlowly.â
His knot pulsed, a reminder from his own body to obey. Slowly, he licked Buckyâs cock from balls to slit, then softly took him inside his mouth again, but careful this time, using one hand to steady himself on Buckyâs knee and the other supporting the heavy knot in his pants.
âOh, thatâs right. Thatâs good ,â Bucky moaned, stroking Bonesâs hair as the Alpha began to take him deeper. âGood boy. Oh god, Bones⌠Fuck.â
The hormone rush to Brockâs brain was getting stronger. My Pack Leader likes it. Iâm a good boy. Iâm doing good . He was barely even aware of his knot now, which throbbed in time with the strokes of his mouth over Buckyâs cock. Buckyâs pleasure was his now - all that mattered was making sure his Pack Leader was happy, fulfilled, satisfied .
Bucky gasped, grabbing Brockâs hair and crying out as he came, pushing into his desperate Alphaâs mouth. Bones swallowed it all down, eager and hungry, needing him to know just how obedient and good he was.Â
âFuck, Bones, that was incredible,â Bucky panted. âThe bond, Iâve never felt so-âÂ
Rumlow sat back and spread his knees apart with a whine. He knew he was being praised, could hear the tenderness in his Pack Leaderâs voice. But now he was painfully aware of his heavy, firm knot, and if his Pack Leader really wanted to reward him, then...
âOh, right,â Bucky grinned. âOkay, Bones. Iâm gonna let you cum. ButâŚcan I see it first?â
Rumlow squirmed enough to tug his pants down and pull his impressive knot out of his pants. Having it on display like this felt so vulnerable. He knew only Bucky could see it, but there was something soâŚhelpless about having it exposed. It wasnât just his secret any more.Â
Bucky climbed off the sofa and knelt in front of Bones, gazing at it. âCan I touch it?â
âUh-huh.â
So carefully, Bucky slid his flesh hand along Brockâs stomach, then wrapped his fingers around the swelling. Two of those fingers slipped under the knot, and pressed lightly into the soft, giving underside. âGood boy.â
Brock whined and leaned against Bucky, weakly humping into his hand as his Pack Leader explored his body. He wasnât sure how much he could take, how much further he could be teased and pleasured and praised before he lost his mind. âPlease,â he panted. âPleaseâŚ.â
âAlright,â Bucky nuzzled into Brockâs neck, lightly nipping at his neck. âCum for me, Bones. Cum for me now.â
Brockâs vision turned to sparks as his knot released, and he came long and hard through Buckyâs fingers. He needed him, he needed his Pack Leader, and he clung to him as his climax rolled through his body and left him whining and trembling.
âBuck⌠BuckyâŚâ Brock gasped as he regained control of himself. âFuck, that was so good. I⌠I really- â
âYouâre back!âÂ
The two men turned to see Zemo at the bottom of the stairs. His hair was mussed and he was wearing only a bathrobe. He looked as if heâd just woken up.
Brock collapsed back, leaning against the sofa. âHey Baron,â he panted.Â
Zemo came over to them and sat down on the floor between them. âSo youâve made up then, I see.â
âUh-huh.â
Bucky watched as Zemo kissed Brock and then leaned into his neck to inhale his scent.
âI missed you,â he murmured, nuzzling against him.Â
âNot still mad at me?â
âNo, moj tigric . Not at all.â
Zemo glanced at Bucky who was cleaning himself up, âYouâre Pack Leader?â
âYeah, looks like it,â Bucky said. âCanât say I totally get it yet, but Iâll figure it out.â
Zemo laughed. âOur therapist is going to have a field day next week.â
âBuck says I gotta get a therapist too,â Brock grumbled.
âHey, only if you want to. Iâm not making you.â
âHm.â
Zemo got up onto the sofa, pulling their Alpha up with him. Bucky joined them, snuggling up against both his mates and inhaling their scents. He and Brock both needed showers, but it was so calm and peaceful to just sit here together. Especially after everything theyâd been through. He heard Zemo purring, followed by Brockâs rumbling chuff, and the sound made him smile.Â
He hoped that it could stay this way forever.Â
*
Notes:
This is the end of the fic, but we are already working on the next one in the series! It might be a few weeks before the next one starts coming out because we have to plan it, so subscribe to the series to get notified when the next fic drops.
In the meantime, thank you for reading :)