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Hello, My Old Heart

Summary:

Leah wanted space: to breathe, to grow, to live. What she got was something she desperately could not begin to understand. And that something was reawakening parts of her she wanted to avoid at all costs. Or at least she thought she did. "Was it possible to gracefully collide with the unknown? She would find out soon enough." ExL, A-U where Bella does not exist.

Notes:

Hi, does anyone even read Twific anymore? Apparently I do after several years away and I had an idea for a new one that wouldn’t leave me alone. While the Twilight series has held less and less appeal for me over the years (I have yet to read Midnight Sun), I would be lying if I said my Leah pairing obsession waned. Now that my life is a lot more settled, it’s fun to revisit. I’m also in the process of finishing Lone Wolves, a Leah x Jasper fic I started quite a while ago. The title for this fic is based on a song of the same name by The Oh Hellos, a fantastic band that I play on repeat. I own nothing, except for original writing/characters.

Chapter Text

Leah really liked the way her new pants looked. She twisted her neck to look over her shoulder at the back of her dark wash jeans in the full length mirror hanging over her bedroom door. Noting the fit of the denim over her ass with approval, she tucked the back flap of her blouse into her waistband.

No French tucks tonight, she mused. Gotta seem  professional.

She turned to make a full appraisal and nodded that her reflection wasn’t too shabby. She was straddling the line between casual and smartly dressed, with her airy black blouse that dipped into a V-neck in the front and dark jeans with stylishly frayed hems. Her black, heeled Chelsea boots completed the outfit and added a few inches to her already five foot seven frame. She didn’t mind though. Whoever said tall girls shouldn’t wear heels were obviously closet incels who jacked off in their basements while crying that they were too short to find a girlfriend. 

She laughed to herself after thinking of how Seth would reply if she ever said this aloud to him.

With that kinda charm, Lee, it blows my mind that you seem to repel every male member of the human species

“Hey what’s so funny?” Speak of the devil. The muffled voice behind her door belonged to her younger brother and he must have heard her laugh while he was en route to his disaster of a room down the hallway. Not that hers looked much better at the moment.

She chuckled again. “Nothing, just cracking myself up.”

“You know they’ve got names for people who laugh at their own jokes.”

Leah grabbed a tinted rosy pink balm from her crowded vanity and swiped some over her lips with her finger, rubbing the residue on a used tissue.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Not funny.” Making his own point, he howled with laughter at his own punchline and banged his fists obnoxiously against her door, rattling the cheap IKEA mirror.

 
She cringed at the noise and banged once back. Even at twenty four, there was nothing like being in your childhood home to make you and your siblings devolve into teenage brats. Seth was only three years younger but he had never left home, so it was possible his development was fully arrested and there was no hope for him.

But not Leah. Oh no, she was getting out. Again.

Four years away from the rez for college, a year in Seattle, and one move home later and she had convinced herself this step back was temporary; a necessary one to assess her future options and maybe open her life up to something beyond Washington State. Saving up a little money for a new apartment never hurt either.

In three months, she anticipated getting back to Seattle. Rachel’s lease with her current roommate would be up by then and she had welcomed Leah’s very obvious enthusiasm for living together in the city. The row house Rachel had her eye on in Belltown would likely be available to rent at that point and they would split time between Rachel being a busy bee law student and Leah working her fingers typing away as the new programming/coding analyst for a cutting edge startup. Or at least that was wishful thinking, in the hope the application packet Leah had just submitted for the position pulled through. Seattle wasn’t the world, but it beat living in Sue Clearwater’s house for another two years and waiting for life to just happen to her.

Three months and they would be two girls off rez, doing the damn thing.  

In the meantime, she had other obligations and this month’s Forks High PTA meeting was weirdly one of them.

She made last minute checks on the little makeup she had worn for the occasion and smoothed down any remaining frizz on her straight, black hair as her phone sharply chirped. She bent over to pick it up from her night stand and a bubble notification from her calendar app reminded her she was running late yet again, before slowly dissolving back into the digital void.

She swung open her door and raced past a still laughing Seth, down the few steps that passed as a staircase in the raised ranch house and into the front foyer where her army green parka patiently hung from the protruding knob of the rickety coat tree. To her right, Sue was settled comfortably in the couch in the living room, her latest book club read sitting half open and ignored in her lap as she stared at the television, completely engrossed.

“What is the Treaty of Versailles.” Sue yelled at the screen

The tinny voice of a Jeopardy contestant repeated the same words and Ken Jennings confirmed the same, while Sue whooped in triumph.

Leah shook her head while shoving her arms through the sleeves of her jacket.

“You know, I don’t think JEOPARDY was the book chosen for the next Quileute Women’s Society meeting.”


Sue shrugged without turning her head way from the TV. “I needed a break. Plus I am killing it with my answers today!”

She turned to Leah and finally took her in, her eyes appraising her over the top of a pair of red, acetone framed glasses. Leah felt herself shrink under her a gaze a fraction, hoping she looked as good as she felt before leaving the house.

After a moment, Sue’s face gave way to her warm, encouraging smile. “You look very nice, my baby. Don’t be nervous.”

 

It was a reoccurring problem that every emotion Leah seemed to have posted itself on her sleeve for the entire world to see. She hated anyone having the upper hand regarding her own feelings and that was one thing that had not changed since high school.

“I’m not nervous.” she retorted, her voice a little too loud to be believable. “I’m just running late…like really late.”

Seth appeared at the top of the stairs, smug in basketball shorts and a hoodie, loudly chewing a mouthful of pretzels as his hand dug deeper into the bag he was carrying. “Yeah ‘cause you took a million years to get ready and came out with a funeral outfit. Does the black match your soul, Lee?”

Both Sue and Leah shouted at him to shut up at the same time. He merely snickered and sauntered his way downstairs, poking Leah in her upper arm as he passed and then swerving to avoid her responding shove.  He collapsed onto the couch next to Sue, his gangly limbs sprawling half on the cushions and half over Sue’s lap.

 

The kid was a giant. And as much as Leah hated to acknowledge it, not so much a kid anymore.

 

She shuddered to think what he now did in the dark of his own bedroom.

 

“Ugh, Seth.” Sue complained pushing at her youngest, but Leah knew she was secretly ecstatic to have her kids under the same roof, climbing over her and the walls. There was no greater joy to Sue than them being their messy, complicated, and at times annoying selves right in front of her.

“Okay now I really have to go.”

 

“Okay, Lee, be careful driving, make sure your headlight are working, and…”  Sue sent some words of concern trailing after her as she pushed through front door and slammed it. She didn’t hear the end as she ran to her used Subaru parked in the gravel drive.

Her shoes crunching against the pebbles underneath and hands finding her key fob in the pocket of her jacket, she unlocked the driver’s side door and almost jumped in.

It was already 7:10 PM, she needed twenty minutes probably, door to door, to get to the Forks High auditorium and maybe she could get there just as the meeting was starting. Maybe.

She backed out of the drive and pressed the accelerator, zooming down the darkening side street where Sue’s house sat, the squares of yellow light in the windows of the neighboring houses streaking by in the night. She rounded turns through the residential streets at about ten miles over the speed limit.    

 

When she finally braked at the last corner to take a left turn onto the main road off of La Push, she noticed that the globe bulb patio lights behind Sam and Emily’s place were on, their brightness half concealed by the front of the house.

 

They must have people over, she thought with a just a hint of resentment. Well, no one invited me.

 

Old grudges died hard, but Leah knew she was definitely past all that now. It was all kid stuff. Melodramatic nonsense that seemed too large to overcome when her world had been too small and only consisted of school and her family and Sam. The events that had changed her world and the role she played in it, forever, were not worth dwelling on and she had moved on with her own life.

 

So much so, that she was undeniably upset over a non-invite to what was possibly a non-gathering that Seth hadn’t even bothered mentioning.

 

Truth be told, it wasn’t the Sam of it all that she was truly still caught up in, anyway. He and Emily seemed incandescently happy and they had a kid that was cuter than words if the pictures Leah had seen were anything to go by.

 

No, it was the way everyone in that group – that pack – still treated her, like she was still that same angry, desperately lonely teenager who had lost her boyfriend to some inexplicable, magic spell. Treated her with kid gloves and not inviting her to things and hiding their relationships, even occasionally avoiding her if it could be helped. She had hoped when she moved back to La Push, this would have changed: They could all move forward and they would see her for the well-adjusted person she had grown into over her time away. She had been a part of their pack hive mind at one time, after all, and they must have known at this point that she had put the past behind her.

 

Leah may have still been herself – there was no beating the sarcasm out of her - but a lot of the rage and sadness that seemed to define her entire personality had faded with time. Nine years would do that to a person. Any person.

And Emily was her cousin, damn it. She was family. She was entitled to not feel awkward around someone who had once been like a sister to her.

 

Leah chose to ignore some of the figures in shadow who were now rounding the corner of the house, beers in hand, laughing and jostling each other. 

Whatever, only those idiots would drink outside with a 40 degree wind-chill on the forecast.

She made the turn and hoped they hadn’t noticed her lingering at the stop sign.

 

*************************************************************************************

“We have Angela taking minutes and –hello, Mr.Zuniga, you can take a seat right here – and we’ll start right away.” A man stood up from his folding chair and squinted against the bright stage lights to read from a three ring binder set before him. A few straggling members of the PTA executive board joined the mass of chairs on stage, slightly disrupting the ancient metal legs of the table set up before them and causing it to wobble.

 

Leah was a few minutes late since she wasn’t familiar with the school or its layout, and she had walked in a couple of circles before noticing the hallway that led to the meeting. She managed to sneak in past the auditorium doors just as the man began speaking and snagged a seat towards the back of the hall, away from a gathering of quietly whispering parents. They all seemed to know each other and likely had kids who were students at the school. The stadium seating setup leading to the stage only increased her feelings of isolation.

 

Pot-bellied and with a sheen of sweat covering his forehead from standing under the lights, the executive board president began listing agenda items for the meeting. With a bit of annoyance, Leah found her presentation was to be last after issues such as fundraising for a new football field and vegan lunch menu options.

 

When Leah had swallowed her pride and moved back home, she had been out of a job. After graduation, those were scarce and she had tried for a full year to find something that was worthy of her data science degree. She only found rejection and with her temp work rotation growing stale, she had run out of viable options. It didn’t help that she was saving nothing from her uneven flow of paychecks and would probably not have been able to make next month’s rent on her crappy studio apartment, anyway. And she could never forget the student loans that were breathing down her neck.

But when her mother mentioned that the council had campaigned for funding to expand STEM initiatives for La Push schools, Leah knew it was the right decision to return. She was quickly offered a full time teaching position at the high school, instructing on rudimentary computer science and Excel skills for freshman and sophomores.

 

The students ran the gamut, from apathetic to bright minds that had been thirsting for a program like this. She was most proud of the team of all girl coders she volunteer chaperoned after school and who were advancing far beyond anything she taught in her regular curriculum. 

 

It tugged on her usually unsentimental heart that she would likely be leaving them in the lurch if she got the job offer and moved back to Seattle.

Not if, when, Leah reminded herself. Everyone had to move on sometime. They could probably find someone just as qualified as she was over the summer break.

 

Or that was at least what she told herself to shake any feelings of guilt.

 

A few months ago, Leah and her group of extracurricular coders had received an invitation to a BASIC coding workshop set up by the school board in Port Angeles. La Push was outside the board’s purview, but the workshop had been a good opportunity for kids to mingle outside their normal schools and for the board to gauge the aptitudes of several member schools. Leah and her girls had beat them all out of the water in a code-off contest using BASIC at the end of the workshop, and it had caught the notice of the Forks High chaperone.

Angela Weber was someone Leah had only met a handful of times, as her parents owned the one of the only pharmacies in Forks and Angela worked the register in high school. But apparently Angela remembered her and their unexpected meeting in Port Angeles had been a somewhat pleasant surprise. Angela had commented on their impressive win and how she knew literally nothing about coding. She was just a teacher at Forks High who had to fill in as the faculty supervisor for this particular club. She had proposed to Leah that she come by Forks once a week and run an after school coding program for those interested. Angela could still supervise since Leah didn’t actually work there, and the kids would have someone at the helm who actually knew a thing or two about what they were trying to learn.

Leah hadn’t been thrilled at the thought of splitting time between La Push and Forks, but then Angela had mentioned one key thing:

The school board would probably be willing to pay you for the after school gig.

Leah could not afford to turn down any money at this stage and if she wanted to move out of her mom’s sooner rather than later, a little more cash wouldn’t hurt. Plus, a lot of her after-school La Push students had lacrosse this spring and would be gearing up for finals in a couple months, which meant they couldn’t meet as often. More free time for Leah.

The only wrinkle in their plan was the school principal did not have final say, and the whole thing had to be opened up to commentary by the PTA executive board before being formalized. Leah had gone a little overboard and mashed together a twelve slide PowerPoint detailing why her teaching was a good idea and outlining a syllabus of what the kids would be learning. She had saved the whole thing to the cloud before the meeting, texting Angela the link and password for her to have it ready for the laptop and projector later. Leah had received a text response from her shortly after.

Wow, I’m both a little in awe and a little turned on by this. This is a teacher’s wet dream.

 

Leah had thought of Angela as merely an acquaintance, but after that she could admit she was pretty cool for a white girl. There was definitely potential for a lasting friendship.  

 

The executive board president – Angela has said his name was Mike something -was still droning on about details regarding a cut to the field fundraising in order to accommodate the drama program, and it looked like it was sending some of the parents into high alert, their necks now stretching forward in attention. Mike explained there wouldn’t be enough funding to properly construct the bleachers along the sidelines for spectators and everyone in the parent clique began shouting to the front at once, even with the podium and accompanying mic just a few yards down from their seats.

 

These people clearly had their priorities straight.

Leah rolled her eyes and sank further into her seat. She pulled out her phone from her jacket pocket and scrolled through a few recent notifications. Two text messages from Jacob and Seth caught her attention as well as a pop up from her period tracking app. It alerted her that her time of the month was set to start the next day.

 

Awesome.

 

She opened the text from Jacob while internally groaning that the next five days were going to be cramp and nausea city. But she was really secretly pleased that her period was arriving on a regular basis at all.

 

J: Heya, Seth told me your thing in Forks is tonight. Good luck nerd!

 

Leah snorted and quickly typed back a response.

 

L: This nerd is laughing all the way to the bank, Jake. Anyway, not approved yet, I guess we’ll see.

<shrug emoji>

 

Jacob Black was Leah’s age and her classmate and they had gotten along more than not. They had even confided a little of their own personal shit to each other; especially during the monster brigade stuff that had swallowed the majority of their junior year.

 

Jake could be trusted as a regular presence during her last two years at home, and she was more than a little grateful that he was a lot less on edge with her than others in the pack. Also, Seth looked up to him like a big brother, which was nice in its own way.

 

J: Are you actually worried? They’ll do it. Everything seems to go your way, Chosen One.

 

Chosen One. A stupid nickname she’d been given by some La Push guys after earning the favor and respect of the tribal council for her contributions to the high school. It wasn’t the worst thing she could be called.

 

L: Hardly. You seem to forget Rachel is in law school

 

Rachel was Jacob’s overachieving older sister and, now, Leah’s hopeful roommate. Jacob responded quickly to that one.

 

J: Please, she didn’t even look back. All the council loves you now. You’re nurturing the future of the tribe or some shit. Even Sam was talking about your contest in Port Angeles and how you’re like the best of us now or something

 

Leah blinked rapidly at the mention of Sam, fingers poised to type a response that she didn’t exactly know how to word. She was sure he was exaggerating. Jacob continued before she got the chance.

 

J: Speaking of, we’re hanging at Sam and Emily’s right now, drinks and grilling in the back. I told Seth to tell you to come by after your little PTA ass kissing  

 

So Seth had forgotten to mention it. Leah hoped it hadn’t been on purpose. Being socially shafted by her younger brother was more than she could handle.

 

L: The brat didn’t mention it. But I dunno…it will be late

 

Jacob saw through the flimsy excuse and had some words for her.

 

J: Omg, stop being so in your head. No one gives a shit about that stuff anymore. Just come

 

It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t being treated like an outcast with an acute case of leprosy.

 

L: Maybe

 

Leah would never tell him, but she thought it would be nice to get back together with everyone and…maybe not reminisce exactly, but shoot the shit a little. Leah couldn’t deny she missed it and had been more saddened than she wanted to admit when she passed the house earlier.

 

J: Good, we’ll save your favorite. Rolling Rock with a used cigarette floating inside

 

Leah hated Rolling Rock and almost gagged at his words. She closed the chat and figured it was safe to open and reply to Seth’s texts as well. The PTA parents were still hotly debating the football bleachers debacle, even as Mike whatever tried to move on to school lunches. Some executive board members had their heads in their hands as Angela dutifully tried to track every word with her typing.

 

S: Forgot that there’s a cookout at Sam’s tonight.

S: Everyone’s asking where you are. My bad

 

Leah rolled her eyes and swiped down further with her thumb. She paused as her blood ran cold with his next message.

 

S:  Btw did you know Ed Cullen is back in Forks? Embry said he spotted him on his way to visit Paul at the station the other day.

 

Embry’s much older brother Paul, once part of the tribal police, had moved his family off reservation last year, taking over for the Forks police chief after he passed away. Poor Charlie Swan had been Jake’s dad’s fishing buddy and had died of a heart attack in his sleep, much like Leah’s own father nine years earlier. A lifelong bachelor, he lived alone in a house on the edge of the Forks town limits. No wife. No kids. No one to claim him or the house after his untimely end. Paul bought the house and he and his wife Rebecca, another of Jake’s older sisters, settled there with their kids. Jake used to tease Leah and Seth that Charlie had a thing for their mom when he was still alive, and every single time Leah would punch Jake hard in his bicep for even bringing it up.

 

Any joke about Sue Clearwater dating after Harry’s death was much too soon for her. But it wasn’t Paul or Jake who presented a problem at the moment.

 

Any mention of the Cullens never failed to peak Leah’s anxiety, and now the prodigal son had returned.

 

Leah had just gotten comfortable with the fact that Carlisle and Esme were fixtures in Forks and that she would likely encounter them out when driving into Forks for errands. Carlisle was the emergency medicine chair at Forks General Hopsital and Esme had her hands in every charitable group imaginable, from the local soup kitchen to being on the board of a women’s shelter in town. They were pleasant enough, Leah could admit to herself.  She had even occasionally waved back to Esme after spotting her on the main street, by the dry cleaners or post office.  

 

Leah had barely known Edward though. She knew he was a couple years ahead of her, a senior at Forks High when everything changed. They had managed just a few passing glances and some muttered greetings every time the pack and the Cullens met during the terror nine years ago. Leah had not wanted any part of it, barely wanted to participate in discussions of the encroaching danger and she kept her distance from all the Cullens. From the information she gleaned from Sam and others in the pack that fateful day, Edward had left everyone behind and met the threat in the mountains, far from where they initially feared it would land

 

And he had taken care of business.

 

He had killed an entire army of his own kind and lived to tell the tale. She and the rest of the pack had been spared any harm, and life had returned mostly to normal. Especially for Leah, since she had done the most in distancing herself from the events of that day.

 

Edward had also disappeared after high school, fading in everyone’s collective memory. Maybe he’d gone to college…or wherever the hell you went when you were decades old and play acting as a teenager. Leah had not wanted to know and no one ever told her different. Because if there was one thing Leah knew about Edward Cullen, it was this:

 

He was a scary motherfucker.

 

So much so, he didn’t think twice about killing his own people or burning the remains of those he had destroyed. And if he could do that to his own kind, Leah did not want to know what else he was capable of.  She had never seen the bodies, but still remembered ashes drifting lazily toward the field from afar and that unsettling scent on the wind: The cloying, sickly sweet perfume edged with the more familiar wood smoke.

 

Leah had never been so frightened in her life.

 

“And, uh, last thing…Ms. Clearwater.”

 

The announcement broke her from her reverie and Leah stood, the expectant eyes of the executive board now on her. She shoved her phone and the foreboding news it carried straight into her back pocket. She did not want to know why Edward Cullen was back in town because the reasons behind it could not be anything good.  

 

“Uh, that’s me.” Leah edged out of her row of seats and down the descending aisle, past a few of the football parents that were now leaving. In fact, the whole group seemed to be shrugging on their coats and making their way out.

 

“Wait, wait…we have one last item.” President Mike called out. “The approval of an after-school coding program, to be taught by Ms. Leah Clearwater of  La Push High School and supervised by our own Angela Weber. This will be a paid position”

 

Some parents kept walking up the stairs, while others merely stood in place, impatiently waiting for a reason as to why they should stay for something that did not interest them in the least.

 

Leah stood ready for the presentation to project onto the screen behind the board. She would move through this fast since no one seemed to want to stick around.

 

“Uhh, Ms. Clearwater has a presentation ready, but in the interest of time, I think we can put this to a vote.”  He looked to the rest of the board flanking him on each side. “Any objection?”

 

The board remained silent and Leah caught Angela’s eye. The pale brunette managed to smirk and wink at her while simultaneously typing out minutes.

 

“Well that’s noted. Any comments or objections from the general PTA membership?” The parents still in the auditorium either irritably shrugged their shoulders or eyed Leah with nothing more than vague interest. None of them said a word.

 

“Okay, Ms. Clearwater is formally approved to begin teaching next week. Ms. Weber will submit any pending paperwork that needs to be filed. And we can now close this meeting.” Mike leaned on the table and stood, pushing out his chair with a screech while all the other board members followed suit. Angela began to pack up her laptop.

 

Leah stood nonplussed and internally grumbled.

 

All that work for nothing. I wasted new jeans on this?

 

If she had known it would be this simple, she would have arrived in sweatpants and completely tipsy. She would not have spent three hours of her life on a presentation no one would even bother to sit through.

 

“Hey!” Leah felt a nudge against her shoulder. Angela had walked down from the stage and met her in the aisle. She was grinning widely. “Well that was easy. Something tells me you would have rather run the whole gauntlet though.”

 

Leah shrugged. “I mean if I knew no one would care, like at all, I wouldn’t have gone through the effort.”

 

“Hey, I care! I’m saving that PowerPoint to my computer for personal gratification purposes.”

 

Leah had to chuckle at that and she grabbed her coat off her seat as they headed out, the overhead lights shutting off in sections behind them.

 

“Thanks for the help. I guess I’ll be seeing more of you starting next week.”

 

“No problem, I’m excited one of us knows what they’re doing. Just to warn you, they’re a bunch of annoying, entitled pricks, but you can handle them.” Angela deadpanned.

 

“Well, I guess I have to get my money’s worth.”

 

“That you do.”

 

They pushed up and against the heavy steel doors to the school and headed out, the night air biting at Leah’s uncovered hands. It was early March and Leah despised the lingering winter cold. She hugged her parka closer and lightly shivered.

 

“It’s like it gets worse every year.” Angela gritted out, pulling up her hood.

 

“Tell me about…ahh, whoa.” Leah was facing Angela and miscalculated her next step. The heel of her boot caught on a concrete stair leading down to the parking lot and she began to fall forward. To catch herself before painfully face planting into the ground, she slammed her left hand against the weathered wood railing next to the stairs. Leah felt the tear of her skin before the nerve endings in her hand pulsed with pain.

 

“Ahhhh!” Leah pulled her hand up to her face and found a large splinter embedded in the crease between her thumb and forefinger. The sharp wood had also sliced at the meat of her palm, and she realized with increasing nausea that the cut was gushing blood.

 

“Oh, oh, that looks bad. Are you okay?” Angela’s worried face did little to tamp down Leah’s wooziness and she led Leah the rest of the way into the parking lot and towards her car.

 

Leah gave a weak nod.

 

“Okay, obviously not okay. God, they’ve needed to replace that piece of shit railing for years. Here, I have paper napkins, or, or rags. They’re in my car…”

 

Leah finally found her center and inhaled deeply through her nose.

 

“No it’s okay. I’ve seriously had worse. I just need to drive home.” She made a feeble attempt to veer towards her car but Angela grasped her shoulder again.

 

“Please let me drive you down to the ER, that gash is bleeding like it will never stop. You’ll need a stitch or two.” she ended guiltily.

 

Leah could not disagree with that.

 

“Plus, I’m the reason you were here in the first place. Let me help.”

 

Leah weighed her options. She could bleed all over her car, on her new jeans, and stumble into the house and freak out her mom. Or she could accept Angela’s help.

 

The pain surged again in her hand and chose for her.

 

She quickly crammed herself into the passenger’s seat of Angela’s car and they maneuvered their way out of the lot, street lamps bathing the road ahead of them in eerie light.

 

“I bet it’s a quiet night there. Carlisle Cullen will probably be able to look you over personally.” Angela chattered on, trying not to betray any anxiety over Leah’s wound. “He’ll have you fixed up in no time.”

 

Through her daze, Leah registered Angela’s words.

 

“Carlisle.” Leah repeated numbly.

 

Leah personally knew the Cullens were once allies of the pack and reminded herself that they had never indicated any ill will towards them. Not even remotely. She did not know, however, whether that truce was still as strong as steel…or maybe now on shaky ground.

 

Either way, she could never forget what they were.

 

They had once again intruded on Leah’s thoughts this night and it was too much Cullen talk in too short a period of time. Leah could only take this as a bad omen. She clutched the napkins over her hand and closed her eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

 

***********************************************************************************

 

The waiting room at Forks General ER was mostly empty, only a few mundane faces staring ahead at the light blue painted cinder block walls.  Angela and Leah did the same while sitting in uncomfortable vinyl upholstered chairs. Any time Leah shifted in her seat, the cushion let out a plasticky squeak. She would give anything to run out and leave no trace she had ever been here.

 

But Carlisle would probably have smelled her by now.

 

Angela chatted about everything and nothing, obviously trying to take Leah’s mind off the pain, and it worked to an extent. The bleeding had mercifully slowed and even the triage nurse had been unimpressed when she saw the bloody shreds of napkin wrapped around Leah’s hand.

 

But Leah still bounced her leg nervously, wanting to be seen as soon as possible. The quicker she was in, the quicker she was out. Why prolong being in Forks any further?

 

She tried not to imagine cold, white fingers lifting her hand and inspecting it. Probing it. One easy flick of those fingers could break her wrist and leave her hand hanging uselessly between them. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. 

 

Angela continued to talk, checking her phone while mentioning something about her brothers. She had no idea of the danger that lurked behind those automatic ER doors.

 

Ignorance truly was bliss.

 

“Leah?”

 

“Hm?” Leah hadn’t noticed Angela was asking her a question.

 

“I’m so sorry about this.” Angela looked slightly frantic, typing on her phone. “Something tripped the silent alarm at my parent’s store and they’re both at home. They asked if I could meet the police there to make sure nothing’s going on. Probably just the twins sneaking in again to grab free candy…or booze” she grumbled.

 

Leah’s stomach sank. Her car was still in the Forks High lot and she had no way of retrieving it.

 

And then she would be here alone.

 

Angela must have understood the expression on her face because she backtracked. “No, of course, your car. I’ll figure something else out.” She scrunched her face in concentration while she stared at messages pouring in on her phone.

 

It was only then Leah started to feel somewhat ridiculous. If something had actually happened at the store, she couldn’t keep Angela hostage here over a cut hand. There were probably a few Ubers running at this time of night and if Angela was meeting Paul, maybe she let him know about Leah’s situation and that she needed a ride.

 

Leah told herself it would be fine. She was a proud member of the Quileute tribe and she would pull from that well of strength now. It wasn’t like Angela could truly help her, regardless.

 

Leah took a deep breath. “No, no, it’s fine. I can get an Uber. Or maybe you could even tell Chief Jones I’m here when you see him? Maybe he can get me after dealing with the store. He’d probably be okay bringing me to my car.”

 

Angela look up, relieved. “Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you know the Chief of Police pretty well. I’ll let him know.”

 

She turned to collect her things, paused for a moment, then gave Leah a one armed hug, startling her. “I’m sorry about all this. I promise to make it up to you. Let’s get together after class next week, drinks on me. I can invite some of the teachers I know.”

 

“Uh, sure. Sounds…nice.”

 

“Great.” With a wave, Angela walked towards the exit just as the triage nurse called out Leah’s name She slowly stood, cycling through affirmations in her head.

 

You are unbreakable. You have the entirety of your ancestors’ strength at your back. Nothing can hurt you.

 

The last one rang false and before she knew it, the nurse was ushering her through the ER doors onto a bed. She did a quick intake of Leah’s vitals before letting her know the doctor might be a while.

 

“Dr. Cullen is out of town tonight but Dr. Ramirez is handling the night shift. He’s dealing with a broken arm right now.” Leah could in fact hear a whimper of pain from what sounded like a teen boy in the bed across the room, the curtain drawn closed. “After he sends him to X-ray and ortho, he’ll probably need to take a look at the frequent flier in the bed next to you.”

 

Leah could feel the weight of her previous fear lifting and she smiled in return. No Cullens in the vicinity tonight and Dr. Ramirez would stitch her hand. Then she could get a ride from Paul and drive home and tell her mom about her minor success. Maybe she could even look over her lesson plan for tomorrow. It was getting late and she didn’t feel much like stopping at Sam’s with an aching hand anyway. 

 

She had nothing to worry about.

 

The triage nurse backed away and slid the curtain to a close, leaving Leah to her own devices. She felt so much lighter than when she had entered.

 

After five minutes of screwing around on Instagram, she contemplated picking up food on the way home since she missed dinner and now probably Sam’s grilling.

 

She opened the local diner menu on her phone, weighing the pros of a greasy tuna melt and fries over a Ceaser salad, when it happened. She felt her hackles rise for the first time in years.

 

Leah’s head snapped up to attention. She sniffed the air warily. Once. Twice. More deeply now.

 

One of them is here.

 

That unmistakable vampire smell. Leah’s pack instincts had never fully left her, not even as she pushed them into the dark recesses of her mind. And they were alerting her now that she had been wrong; so incredibly wrong to think she was in the clear.

 

She heard the slight scuffing of shoes against linoleum, footsteps that grew louder and then halted, right by the nurses station. Everyone was silent, the steady beeping of monitors filling the space as whoever had just entered murmured a quick greeting. He began to converse with the nurse who Leah recognized as the one that performed her intake. There was a rustling of paper as the new arrival patiently asked a few questions in a smooth, level voice and received wary responses back from her nurse.

 

The scent amplified into an inescapable fog for Leah as those footsteps now came in her direction, and she attempted not to breathe it in too deeply. She didn’t want it carpeting her body and invading her brain until it physically stung. Her good hand twisted into the sterile sheet she was sitting upon, her knuckles white.

 

The curtain ripped back in one motion and Leah stared into the golden eyes of the one person she had never expected nor wanted to see again; the one who Leah had dismissed in her mind with some unease not an hour ago. 

 

The Cullen’s returned son stood before her, tall and imposing, with her chart in his hand. He wore a look of surprise, running those unnatural eyes over Leah’s gobsmacked expression and then down at her hand. He looked back at her face with slight concern before it melted into something resembling a smile.

 

“Well, hi …it’s been too long.”

 

With those words Leah’s chest heaved in shock as she felt her world and everything she once knew shatter around her. The floor fell out from under her feet and the room shook before her eyes. The primal force of gravity that kept all things, great and small, rooted to the earth was absent and no longer held her. She was reverse freefalling up into the atmosphere, afraid she would never come back down, floating further and further from herself. And just as she thought she would be lost forever, the sensation faded. Strands of gravity finally unwound themselves and hooked back into her, deep within what could only be her soul.

 

But they didn’t run down in the same direction.

 

No, now they radiated out from her chest, the glow of their energy lighting her body from within. She followed their pull, feeling the connection as opposite ends of the strands converged into one singular point.

 

Into him.  

 

Leah’s phone with the forgotten diner menu clattered to the floor and she couldn’t have moved to retrieve it even if she wanted. The strings vibrated and pushed, as if testing the bond, and hummed once in satisfied harmony.  

 

They knew this to be right. Leah did, too.

 

Knowing without actually knowing, defeated before she could even think to put up a fight, tears filled her eyes.

 

Leah had imprinted on Edward Cullen.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Notes:

Own nothing except for my own original characters/writing. All Twilight properties belong to the author of the series

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leah’s hand gripped the steering wheel of her car with something close to the strength she had as a teenage wolf. If she wanted, she knew the power coursing through her veins could make easy work of the steering column, of the car itself, and in that rending of metal and plastic, she might find some comfort.

But she wouldn’t. Not with where she needed to go. It would delay her search for some much-desired answers along with making it virtually impossible to get there in the first place.

The engine whined under the stress of her lead foot on the accelerator, and she slowed down her speeding just a fraction, just enough to try and corral her galloping thoughts.

Breathing through her nose, she peered into the darkness through her windshield, noting the turn that she would’ve missed if she was careless. If she had driven home unburdened, apart from the news that she was now gainfully employed by two schools, she might have been pleased enough to let her attention drift; to wander like dreams upon waking. And she may have missed the turn, clucked at her lack of awareness, and found some empty shoulder of road where she could reverse and drive back. This alternate Leah and her actions burned through the mind of the real one and she mourned the lack of her existence.

In reality, Leah’s preternaturally sensitive eyes picked up on the unlit sign directing her into La Push with ease. She knew without any doubt her sight had sharpened considerably in the last hour, a noticeable gain in her abilities. She almost cried out in helpless fury at this development.

Even worse, she felt something new take hold over her. Leah had been sure she was imagining it, a pit in her stomach that would disappear as soon as she left the hospital. But ever since leaving Forks town limits, some invisible force had clamped tightly around her middle and stretched with each passing mile. It was as if a flexible, but unrelenting, rubber band had positioned itself around her as a constant reminder of what she had left behind. And unlike a real rubber band, this one wouldn’t snap under the stress of increasing distance, catapulting itself back into Forks while letting her escape. She had a feeling it would tug at her, knotting and painfully stretching even if she traveled the circumference of the world and arrived at the very same place she had started. The only alternative was to turn back.

Even now her heart cried out for some sort of relief, some remediation to the distance Leah had put between herself and…him. She couldn’t even bear to think his name.

But she wouldn’t give her body the satisfaction. It was an impossible thought and if she consulted the right person, she would be free of whatever had occurred. She was sure of it.

Leah found herself stopped at the first house on the left, the first anyone would see when entering La Push and the last one before leaving.

She had told herself she was too sleepy; her hand was bothering her too much to make a stop here tonight.

Well, that was before. And her right now, was certainly after.

Leah decided to park on the street in the shadows of a few towering Pacific madrone trees, the branches skeletal and bare. They reached for her as a light breeze rattled them forward and she ducked away, quickly making her way up the drive and past the white vinyl siding of Sam and Emily’s house. She was nothing but pure resolve in this moment. Her boots stamped down on reclaimed wood boards and she looked ahead of her. Under the patio lights, at least half a dozen pairs of eyes shot up to take her in, some shocked, others narrowed in suspicion. She could only imagine what they were seeing; Leah standing still like a sudden specter on the edge of the party, a disturbance in the otherwise calm night with her eyes vacant and her arms wrapped around her unzipped parka.

Unwanted and unwelcome.

Her resolve began to falter under their stares. She opened her mouth, convinced she could explain her way into their fold. Nothing came out.

“Leah, hey.” One of the bodies with the staring eyes spoke, and she wasn’t sure who. She was still frozen to the spot and unwilling to trespass any further on the gathering.

An arm swung itself around her shoulders, massive and heavy and any other day she would’ve buckled under the momentum of the action. Not tonight.

The arm shook her again and she looked up, into Jake’s face as he beamed down at her. He began to search Leah’s eyes and his smile dimmed at her wan expression.

With this, Leah finally began to melt and she broke free from his grasp. She smiled back weakly and punched him half-heartedly in the shoulder.

“Hey, yourself.”

Don’t let them see you.

He could never know. None of them could ever know. And if she kept acting as if she was drowning under the weight of her burden, they would all find out. Their reactions would be bombs exploding in the night and they would consume her and turn her to ash.  

Jake’s smile returned, though she also saw the hint of anxiety belying it in his eyes. He was acting with her, pleading with her to join him so they could put on a show of normalcy for their audience.

 Leah obliged. She turned to take in the rest of the faces as Jake walked with her up the wooden steps of the raised patio.

Quil and Embry and their girlfriends, for lack of a better term, were comfortably spread out in the built-in seating on the outer edge of the structure. The boys nodded coolly as she gave them a little wave. Claire and the other – Leah didn’t remember her name since she was Makah and lived off rez-grinned widely at her and raised their drinks.

“Leah, you made it, come sit with me and Tiff when you get a drink,” Claire chirped. She was only nineteen and a sunny, unrelentingly positive presence amongst the stoic faces of the other pack members. Quil looked between her and Leah and relaxed a bit, nodding as Claire addressed Leah.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you, Leah.”

Sure, Quil.

Leah just nodded back and joined Jake at a folding table set up against the house, a steel tub full of beer and some spiked seltzer cans she was sure one of the girls had brought with them. There was no ice, the night cold enough to chill the drinks enough to everyone’s preference.

Collin and Brady were sitting in camper chairs close to the house and they also waved, sticking their legs out wide to try and trip up Jacob as he and Leah walked by them.

“Don’t fall, Jake!” Collin roared.

He slapped the side of his head as Collin whooped in laughter. Jacob was the younger guys’ mentor, Sam’s number two, and his physique and rugged good looks made him the closest thing to an action movie hero these kids would ever see. He could do no wrong for these boys. Leah had never inspired that kind of loyalty, and now, she knew whatever goodwill she had built would crumble into dust. The passing thought stung more sharply than the cut on her hand.

 Brady just serenely smiled as he nodded at Leah.

“You just missed Seth, I think he said he had any early class.”

Seth took classes at Peninsula College and was looking to transfer soon. It made sense he wanted to get a head start tomorrow, probably just making an appearance tonight for a good ribbing and the food.

Leah smelled the lingering residue of charcoal and grilled meat on the night air and hunger gnawed at her stomach. Along with the other thing.

She ignored both.

Jake flicked off the bottlecap to a beer with barely a twitch of his fingers and handed it to Leah, and then did the same for himself. She looked at the label, noting that it was some craft beer from a brewery in Port Angeles, and the forest themed graphic art wrapped around the bottle was dark and ominous. She held it loosely against her side as Jake folded himself back into a camping cheer. He clinked his beer against hers.

“Better than Rolling Rock, huh?” he cheerfully asked, raising his eyebrows.

Their texting seemed a million years ago. She was crawling out of her skin with the anticipation of impending doom and the feeling she was barely existing at all, and Jacob wanted to talk beer.

She wanted to scream and thrash against the burning inside her.

Instead, she merely took a swig.

“It’s good,” she replied.

“Of course it is,” Jacob shrugged, looking up. “I brought it.” His gaze lowered and she saw him notice her bandaged hand, pointing at it in confusion.

“Hey, your hand, wha..?”

Leah pushed off the piece of house she had been leaning against and turned her back to him, tucking her hand out of view while muttering.

“Nothing, um, do you know where…?”

She couldn’t even complete her sentence when the back door opened.

Emily stepped onto the patio carefully, with a sleepy child bundled into her arms, walking towards Leah as she rubbed soothing circles on the little girl’s back.

“Hey, Lee,” she crooned softly, a small smile playing on her lips. “I’m so glad you’re here.

Leah gulped. It was her beautiful cousin, content and warm and glad to see her. And carrying the toddler Leah hadn’t even been around to visit.

If matters were less urgent, she would have had the courage to take the baby, feel her go slack in her arms as she fell asleep, maybe even carry her inside and put her to bed. Nothing but pure affection swelled at the sight of them, and Leah berated herself internally for not coming sooner. Any awkwardness over Sam or perceived betrayals was laughable now, a ghost of a memory in the face of what had happened to Leah tonight.

“Emily, hi,” Leah breathed out. She reached out a hand and rubbed some silky strands of the baby’s hair between her fingers, longing to come closer but keeping her distance. She would let Emily dictate the terms. But the baby cooed at Leah’s touch.

Emily giggled. “Grace insisted she wanted to come out and wish everyone a goodnight, and then I saw you were here.” Another look brimming with warmth. “You finally get to meet this little one.”

Leah swallowed her shame down again, clutching her beer like a lifeline.

“She’s beautiful,” Leah whispered, taking in the heavy eyelids and long black hair and the perfect bow of her little mouth. And she was.

Emily gave a faint ‘thanks’, looking down fondly at her child.

 Emily had made this, built more out of a life that had been basically forced onto her, and still had the capacity to welcome Leah into her home.

Leah vowed to never be so stupid again.

But the surprise and joy of meeting her cousin’s child dampened as she caught the notice of the man behind Emily, his eyes narrow and laser focused on Leah as she stepped away.

Sam stood tall and silently observant as ever, a sentinel protectively watching over his wife and child. Where Jake was all brashness and laughs and blatant displays of strength, Sam was the authoritative leader whose waters ran deeper than anyone could know.

He had been a little goofier when they were teens, a little more prone to cursing and teasing and breaking the rules when it didn’t bring about any serious consequences. Like most guys at eighteen, he was somewhere between a boy and a man, and Leah had witnessed it all, laughing alongside him.

But Leah had also glimpsed a certain gravity behind his smile, a natural moral compass and an ability to protect and dispense justice, even in the most frivolous of situations. Sam had then fully stepped into his strength and role when La Push teens began to change in the worst way and needed someone to guide them

Like he would now guide her through this. He was her pack leader after all.

Leah stared back into his calm, emotionless face, her neck craning a little as the resolve from before pushed forward. She was here for a reason, and it now stood before her, silently questioning.

“You guys have truly outdone yourselves, Sam. She’s a dream.”

Sam simply nodded.

“Thanks, Lee.”

They all stood without speaking for a few moments, the night growing deeper and the people around them continuing their chatter while stealing glances to ensure Leah’s encounter with Sam wasn’t going to turn into something more. Something uglier.

The idea couldn’t have been farther from Leah’s mind.

But just so, trying and failing to be discreet, Jacob and Quil and Embry finally crowded her and Emily and Sam. They feigned interest in the baby and made stupid faces while she blinked sleepily.

Leah took a step back, not breaking eye contact with Sam.

Jacob clapped a hand on Sam’s shoulder, standing only an inch taller than his alpha.

“Grace doesn’t need your guys’ faces to be the last thing she sees before she sleeps,” he said to Quill and Embry. “She’ll have nightmares.”

Quil let out a “hardy-har” while Embry turned his attention to Leah. He had loosened in the last fifteen minutes, taking his cues from the others talking to Leah. He cautiously approached her now that she wasn’t deemed a social hazard, ever the follower.

Newly emboldened, he snickered as he took in Leah’s outfit, her fancy blouse and new jeans. She felt his joke before he even lobbed it towards her.

“Didn’t realize we were supposed to dress up for a kickback. Need to get out my tux.” He pointed at her. “Never took you for bougie before, Leah.”

Leah had been a tomboy and a lot rougher and tumble than some of the other guys. She kept up and then some. Very few of them had even seen this side of her.

Keep up the charade. Play along. Give them something else to think about other than the reason you’re here.

Finally breaking her staring contest with Sam, Leah shrugged and brought her beer to her lips. Taking a deep swig, she appraised Embry over the bottle, giving him a distasteful once over. She always gave as good as she got.

“When your entire wardrobe is the same pair of unwashed sweats you’ve been wearing the past three days, I guess jeans and a top start to look like black tie formal…Emeril.” Her sarcasm bit just the right amount and Quil and Jacob howled with laughter as Embry rolled his eyes and muttered “whatever”. He hated his full name and Leah had purposefully added it to give everyone something to focus on. Even Sam cracked a smile.

She was one of the pack in that moment and under any other circumstance it would have felt like coming home. Now it was just a weak brush of familiarity against the dark thing brewing within her.

As the laughter died down, Leah noticed Brady and Collin begin to gather some empty bottles and the ladies Leah had not gotten a chance to greet, started to do the same. This always signaled the end of the night and Leah began to assess how to get Sam alone, how to couch her situation in the most forgiving terms, maybe even avoid saying the actual word. Or name.

She tried her hand at an excuse. “Ahh, closing time. That’s too bad was looking forward to catching up. But maybe we still can inside? Sam? Emily?” she asked casually.

She was under no illusion that Sam would keep this from Emily. While her suggestion may have garnered a look of surprise from Jacob, the other two betrayed nothing. Emily agreed, a lot quicker than Leah had anticipated, as if she had expected to move their socializing into the house.

“Yeah, of course. I’m going to put Grace down in her room and make sure she’s asleep, but come on inside. You and Sam can finish your beers.” She disappeared into the house while Sam and Jacob went back to looking at Leah.

“Damn, Lee, me and Seth thought your Forks thing might keep you from coming, but now you’re staying?” He gave an incredulous laugh. “And Sam? Sam here was telling us he was pretty sure you were stopping by. He insisted you were, actually. Guess you were right, buddy.” Jake laughed again, attempting to not add to the tension with his words, but not completely able to shield his disbelief at Leah and Sam having a polite conversation over a beer.  

“What? I didn’t…” Leah looked up sharply back at Sam and a momentary break in his stone façade gave way to shining curiosity, his face searching hers for a clue. She felt the composure she wore like a cloak begin to slide, and panic and the ever-present pain of separation roiled in her gut.

Sam had told Jake she was coming, had insisted to Jake she was. She hadn’t spoken to him directly in nine years, yet he was sure,

There could only be one reason behind him being so sure. And it was that he knew.

He knew.

And, of course, he knew. He was leader of the pack; the general timbre of her feelings were in constant exchange with his when she used to phase. The events of tonight had jumpstarted that connection again, and as the alpha of the Quileute shapeshifters, Sam knew any and every time one of his pack imprinted. 

With that revelation, Leah forgot to breathe and clenched the bottle in her hand, a crack forming on the side. Beer slowly dribbled out and onto her hand, but she barely noticed.

“Whoa!” Jake backed up uneasily, away from the droplets now hitting the patio deck. “What are you doing to that poor bottle? Let’s get you a napkin.” He went off to hunt for a discarded one, or maybe just to escape the strange energy of their encounter, and Leah pleaded with Sam with her eyes.

Don’t. Don’t say anything. Don’t tell anyone. Wait for them to leave.

He just stared.  

“Not here,” she mumbled quickly, giving voice to her thoughts. “Inside.”

Sam finally appeared to understand, and he relaxed his arms, seemingly satisfied that she had confirmed his suspicions. He gestured casually at her.

“It’s your life, Lee. I won’t say anything to anyone, but I’m happy for you. You deserve this.” He smiled at her, a genuine, easy smile that would have lit Leah from within when she was a teenager. Now it only deepened her fear and shame.

Sam moved in a little closer, a conspiratorial edge to his voice. “But you have to tell me, who’s the lucky guy? Or girl? Or person, whatever?” They could have been two school kids at recess, divulging secret crushes. Imprinting on Emily, as painful an experience it had been for Leah, had been almost sacred for him, and the same for Quil and Claire. It was a joyous rite of passage, the one thing in their lives they never knew they were missing, and they were completely fulfilled and whole as a result. Of course, Sam would think it would be the same for any of them.

Leah thought she would be sick.

“Please,” she whispered. “Can we talk about this inside. I need to ask you something. Need you to fix…this.” she brokenly finished.

Sam peered at her in confusion. “What? What’s wrong? It doesn’t need to be fixed,” he promised, mistaking her words for general ignorance of how this worked, of how she was feeling.

“No, you don’t understand, I can’t. And I need your help,” she whispered back harshly, more so than she intended.

Sam once again scrunched his eyebrows with concern and then in apparent understanding, leaned his head closer to hers. “I know it can be scary,” he spoke in a cautious, soothing tone. “Especially after everything. But I’m really glad you came to me for guidance. And you’ll see its nothing to be afraid…”

“One napkin!” Jake interrupted, wrapping it around Leah beer bottle, unaware of her and Sam’s hushed conversation.

Sam stopped talking and Leah kept her head down, willing the ground to swallow her as her hair curtained her face. Her stomach continued to tie itself into knots as she tried in vain to forget a face that refused to stop reappearing in her mind.

“Hey Jake,” Sam recovered smoothly, guiding Leah by the shoulder towards the house and away from the retreating guests. ‘Lee’s not feeling great and Emily’s going to make her some tea. Why don’t you drive Collin and Brady home?” They were almost at the back door and Leah felt Jake’s eyes on her.

But if he had any questions, they died the second Sam requested anything of him. She knew Jake would take the boys home and not glance back if Sam willed it. Especially since Sam so rarely willed anything from anyone, except for general respect and compassion.

 “Yeah, no problem. Feel better Lee. You need to come out more often.” She heard the faux cheeriness in Jacob’s voice and knew he was suspicious. He would have questions for Sam. For her. And he would see through their lies.

Leah deeply hoped Sam was as good as his promise and that Jake would be unsuccessful in his search for answers.

She heard the rustle of goodbyes and good-natured taunting from Jacob, the ladies, and the rest behind her, and the engines of their respective cars and bikes came to life. She wished more than anything that she was leaving with them.

She and Sam entered the house and, just as quickly, the noise cut off when he closed the door.

They were in the living room and Sam and Emily’s domestic bliss shone like a gem in the halogen lamp light. Leah numbly counted at least ten pictures in a framed collage showcasing Grace.

It was very likely she would never have this.

Sam waved her ahead, gesturing towards an overstuffed couch and then sat down. He crouched forward with his hands clasped before him.

“Okay, shoot. I’m like a Reddit forum, ask me anything,” he chuckled. He really was incredibly happy for her, Leah noted. At least for the time being.

She knew that would change once she could get out the right words.

She breathed deeply once. Twice. She sat on the edge of the couch and stood again and began to pace, her boots making soft impressions in the carpet. She absently thought she should take them off but the last thing she wanted right now was to be comfortable.

“It’s going to be okay, Lee,” Sam reassured her, completely bemused, incorrectly deciphering her actions.

“It will only be okay if you can help me,” Leah replied darkly, nodding towards him.

“Okay, how can I help?”

Leah lifted her bandaged hand, finally bringing it fully out from the sleeve of her coat and showing Sam.

“What happened? Did you do something to your hand?”

“This happened,” she said slowly. “And then something else happened. Something terrible.” She knew she was being deliberately vague, unwilling to confront the truth or for Sam to find it in her words.

 Sam shifted uncomfortably, no longer smiling. “What are you talking about? You hurt your hand…and then something else happened?”

Leah nodded.

“The imprinting happened?”

Leah’s throat closed in on her next words. It ached to speak.

“Yes, I imprinted while getting this looked at.” She waved her injured hand. “I was in Forks, Sam.”

“Yeah, the high school.  Seth mentioned your teaching thing. Congrats.” Sam was confused.

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, willing herself to be brave, to collect herself and get through this next part. She was so close and then Sam could take it from there. He was the only one who would know what to do.

“Yes, I was in Forks for that. I hurt my hand. My friend Angela drove me to the ER at Forks General Hospital. And then I imprinted.”

“Oh, okay, so you snagged a doctor, or a nurse. Or an orderly. Or, damn…was it on a patient?” Sam paused. “Someone dying? Is that the terrible thing?” Sam’s horror was apparent. His sincere worry overwhelmed her, and she almost collapsed under its weight. To imprint on someone dying, that had to be a special kind of hell. But not as bad as the hell she was currently in.

She shook her head no.

“Then, what?” The exasperation in Sam’s voice clipped her and she stopped walking.

This wasn’t working. She couldn’t keep playing twenty questions and hop from one of Sam’s assumptions to the next, all night. It was time to come clean.

“He’s not dying. He’s already dead,” she whispered, her words choking her.

The silence in the room was louder than anything Sam could have yelled back at her. She waited a few beats before looking up at his face and continuing.

“Or he died once, before. If that’s how it works,” she finished quietly.

Sam was inscrutable, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he parsed out her meaning. The only thing giving away his dawning realization was the tic in his jaw, pulsing so slightly she could have been imagining it.

“You definitely don’t mean a dead patient,” Sam didn’t ask, but merely stated what he knew to be true.

Leah shook her head, again.

“Then that can only mean…”

“Cullen,” Leah supplied in a hollow tone, disassociating her brain and body from what she was telling him.  

“Which one?” Sam’s words were a sharp knife, cutting and swift.

“Edward.” She forced out the name. After speaking it aloud, her body sang out in ecstasy, and she was fully present again. The invisible band loosened a little and encircled her in an embrace, the pain slightly diminished.

It was wrong how right it felt, speaking his name.

She heard Sam’s breath catch, trying out what he wanted to say in his head before speaking.

“Embry told us he was back.”

Leah said nothing at all.

“How?” Sam’s giddiness and worry and impatience were all gone, replaced again by something hard and unmoving. Leah could barely meet his eyes. “How could this happen?”

She threw her hands up, helpless, and came back to life. She began to pace again.

“I dunno Sam, how does any of this shit happen? You tell me.” She put her hands on her hips, defensively. “I looked at him. It happened. And then I drove straight here.”

Sam stayed silent, turning over her words. Leah’s voice softened in desperation.

“I came straight here. You need to help me. Please,” Leah pleaded, imploring him to lead her one more time. The last time. And then they could resume their lives.

“Tell me everything,” Sam quietly demanded. She ignored him.

“You need to break it. My imprint. It’s bullshit. Break it,” Leah spit out. Even as she managed to say it, she vehemently rejected the thought, her body’s reaction one of visceral shock to the idea of destroying her imprint on Edward. Leah knew something like that could only hurt, maybe even come close to killing her. But for all their sakes, it had to be done.

“You need to tell me…,” Sam started again but Leah just shook her head.

“You break it, Sam. I know you know a way. I know you…” Leah’s accusations and demands choked out into a gasping sob and she covered her face with her hands. “You have to know a way.”

She couldn’t see him but she knew the enormity of her distress was finally on display and it was clear to Sam. She couldn’t live with this.  

He stayed silent for a few more moments while she calmed herself, her hands finally dropping.

He waited until she turned to look at him, and asked her again, slow and gentle this time, but firm.

“I can only help you if you tell me everything, Leah. Maybe we got it wrong. But you’ve got to start talking.”

Leah miserably glowered back. He was the last person she wanted to know of her shame, to confide in her darkest, most undeniably twisted secret. The universe truly had a sick sense of humor, for so many reasons.

 But she could find no alternative. She could only flee with no answers, worse off than when she started.  

“Fine, what do you want to know,” she asked, steeling herself.

Sam eyed her keenly. This was pack business now: Monsters and treaties and mortal enemies. He was in leader mode and would not be put off by the simple consequence of her life falling into ruin.

“The beginning. Leave nothing out.”

And so Leah started, leaving nothing out.


Leah’s first instinct was to reach out and touch him. It startled her, how much closer she needed to be, an ache forming in her stomach at the sight of him two feet away. She wanted him near her, by her, where she could better protect him. And see him. And feel him.  

She began to reach out

The part of her brain that drove her practical thoughts halted her and asked her, so quietly she was sure she hadn’t heard anything at all.

‘What does he need?’

Leah’s arm was raised, stuck in midair between them, and with dawning horror she saw Edward regard her with confusion. He was completely oblivious, wasn’t he? She was just a planet in orbit to his blinding, spectacular sun, and he simply didn’t know.

“Leah? Are you alright?” Edward’s voice rang out like chimes, like the kind she hung outside the back door to Sue’s house. Beautiful bells that sang in the breeze.

Leah was dreaming. She was sure of it. She was asleep. Or dead. There was no possible way she was consciously entertaining the thought of getting nearer to a vampire, let alone touching one. She was asleep and her nightmare was one of surreal expectation – the violent force by which she was drawn to him, only drowned by a feeling in equal measure that she should control her next action very carefully. It could define the very foundation of this new chapter of her life.

Because life as she knew it was a distant memory.

“Leah?” he asked again, leaning a little closer.

It broke through her haze, and in one quick motion she tucked her raised hand underneath her, shifting back slightly on the bed. The ache grew, but she couldn’t trust herself to not attempt to slide her fingers down his face.

His beautiful, concerned, too perfect face.

“Hi-i.” It was the best she could manage.

Edward looked increasingly bemused. She noticed a dimple above the left side of his mouth, an indentation in his white, marble skin. “Hello. You probably weren’t expecting me.”

He had no idea.

She would block any mention, any indication of what she was feeling. He couldn’t know. She wasn’t even sure of what had happened, she tried to convince herself. Even if she full well knew.

It was imperative she hid this, because she knew there was a danger in admitting it to herself, least of all Edward.

To her advantage, Edward did not seem to notice anything amiss, just her general surprise in seeing him again.

She schooled her features to give away nothing as he turned towards her nurse, requesting a suture tray and needle and grabbing the nearest floating stool.  

He sat himself on it with his long legs bent at the knee, his sneakers dragging on the floor as he wheeled himself forward with ease. He placed her chart file in a metal slat built into her bed and she remembered the dark copper tint of his slightly unkempt hair, curling a little around his sideburns. When he leaned forward, she noticed that he was wearing blue scrubs.

“You work here?” she murmured in a daze.

“Mm, kind of. I can probably get away with more than your average research fellow, thanks to Carlisle.” he said in a low voice, each syllable melting into her.

And then he winked at her.

This wasn’t real. They weren’t friends. He wasn’t human. This was a joke. Or a trap. A joke trap.  

She stared dumbly as Edward thanked the already too suspicious nurse for the tray and reached towards her. She flinched slightly, resisting the pull when he did, and he drew back.

“I swear I just want to see your hand,” he assured her, eyes wide and his palms up. “Does it hurt a lot? I’ll be gentle.”

 She then clearly saw the bloody fast-food napkin and her hand still smarting with pain. It was too awkward to request another doctor, though she knew he would relent if she did. He’d done nothing wrong. If she was being honest, the thought of him moving away was too much to bear, even if it killed her to hold herself back.

“There’s a splinter in there, and I think I need stitches…,” she trailed off.

“Yeah, I can see that. May I?” Leah gave the barest of nods, and he lightly grasped her wrist, pulling it gently towards him to inspect it better. Leah thought her heart would fall out of her chest at their contact, sparks exploding at the edges of her vision as she blinked heavily.  

It was so different than anything she had expected. His skin was hard, and most definitely cold, but it moved. She had expected a stone touch and yet she saw the lines in his palm, the motion of smooth skin over muscle as he gently prodded. It felt almost…normal.

Before she could even think, she blurted out a joke.

“So you’re just another doctor stereotype? Your hands are arctic.” Even now, Leah couldn’t help but be one hundred percent herself.

She must have caught him off guard, because he looked at her a full beat before his face split into a grin and he gave a brittle laugh. It was blinding and Leah lost herself for a minute.

“That’s funny. Can see you haven’t lost your trademark humor.”

What was even happening? She was sure she had been a background player in his memory; they had barely exchanged words. But he remembered that she was a sarcastic bitch.

He unwrapped the napkin before she could respond and was swiping an alcohol swab stick and then iodine against the dried blood on her skin and her cut. He then took a pair of tweezers from the tray and met her eyes, still sparkling from his previous laughter.

“Okay, deep breath.” Leah complied and he pulled out the jagged sliver of wood, blood only slightly burbling from where it pierced her hand.

He sprayed some local anesthetic and after a few moments, she felt her palm go numb,. He reached for the round bodied needle with the sutures, talking like Angela had been minutes before, trying to distract her.

“This will barely need two stitches. How did this happen anyway?”

Leah went through the motions, explaining her fall while mentally resisting the urge to place her other hand on his sleeve and rub it down his arm.

He was absorbed in his work, his hands steadily pulling the sutures through her skin, working at the speed of a regular doctor. She barely felt any of it. She knew he could move much faster than he was allowing himself right now. She may have kept her distance but she had seen it before, the way he moved. The way they all moved when they weren’t amongst the normal people in town.   

“So Forks High is to blame?” He snipped the edge of the thread and tied a neat knot. Leah had not noticed that his work was finished, his actions quick but extraordinarily delicate. “It will be too soon before I ever step foot back in there.”

Before she could even stop herself, she told him about her teaching job.

“I’ll be there once a week. I’m teaching…um…coding. For the kids. After school.” Her confidence, her semblance of composure was long gone, and she felt the burn of her internal focus.

It was the only thing that mattered. He could not know.

 But she certainly didn’t want him to leave.

He surveyed his work for a moment and then placed a large adhesive bandage over the stitches, without saying anything. His fingers spread across her palm, pressing it down, and they lingered while he looked up.

His face was so close, she could see the purple shadows underneath his eyes and the dark sweep of his lashes. Even his smell…well, it was still like antiseptic filling her nose, but that could’ve been the swab. It was simply a clean odor, the sickly-sweet edge mostly diminished.

“Teaching,” he said softly. “That’s…you’ve really grown up.” His face was almost wistful, and she wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Her face had thinned out slightly and her hair was a little shorter, but she thought it was not too different from what she had been before.

She guessed every small change looked different to someone who stayed exactly the same.

“Why are you back?” Leah could no longer deny her curiosity.

Edward studied her a moment, seeming to want to say something and thinking better of it.

“I’ve been traveling a lot. I went back to school. Medical school, specifically.” He rolled his eyes, as if she could commiserate with him. It was hilarious because she couldn’t even imagine his life. “Spent some time with other family and thought it would be nice to make my way home for a couple years. Catch up with Carlisle and Esme. I’m doing some research and helping out with the hematological lab here. But staff knows I did ER and surgical rotations in med school, so I get to help out a little when Carlisle’s away.” He wrapped a small length of cloth bandage around her palm to keep the other in place and tied it off with a knot at her wrist.” And when I…sensed one of you here, I was curious. It’s not often any of you kids make your way over to Forks. I pulled my weight a little and asked the nurse to give you to me instead of Dr. Ramirez.” He paused, sitting a little straighter now that he no longer needed to bend over her hand. She could tell he had told her more than he had intended as he slipped back into a more conversational tone. “And you?”

“Well, not so much a kid anymore.”

He nodded intently. “Definitely not.”

Leah felt layers of herself unfurl and shed, simultaneously heating under his gaze while still resisting. The effect was torturous, and she wanted his hand back upon her, and for him to hold her in his eyes forever.

“You seem a little out of it.” Edward’s concern finally broke the silence, overtaking any fleeting moment that had occurred between them. “You might be concussed. Can I do a quick check?”

“I didn’t hit my head.” Leah knew something vastly different was the real reason behind her behavior.

“Even still.” The soft yellow stream from a penlight flashed into both her eyes, and his fingers lightly probed her temples. They were cool points on her heated skin and she thought she would fall forward, into him, into eternity.

“Anything tender?”

Leah closed her eyes, the intensity of her warring feelings breaking to the surface, and she squeezed her other hand against her jean clad thigh. She shook her head no.

“Is the light hurting your eyes? Do you have a headache?” She shook her head again, no to both questions. And she deflected, the best she could.  

“You look exactly the same…but different.” Edward’s fingers paused. She was sure he hadn’t expected her to say anything regarding his appearance.

“Oh?”

Her eyes opened and she bit the inside of her cheek. Edward waited for her to expand on her observation.

“Yeah, you seem easier…to be around,” she said dumbly. But it was true. The lightness of his manner, the ease with which he spoke to her, the care with which he had handled her. Like he was a person. Like he had known her forever and they were friends.

Edward simply gave another half-smile as he dropped his hand back down. “I was a bit of a sulking jackass back then.”

“I’m sure we were both pretty intolerable. You know...teenagers.” Leah wasn’t sure why she was trying to make him feel less self-conscious. She didn’t know him, and yet it was the most relaxed she had been around someone who wasn’t family in a while, despite her anxiety she would let her guard slip.

Edward shrugged. “I had a bit of change in perspective, like anyone who’s lived as long as I have.” Leah was in awe that he was speaking so plainly. He raised his eyebrows in humor. “Even us…what did you guys used to call us? Leeches? Even we can change from time to time.”

Leah winced. She’d never said it to any of the Cullens’ faces but she wasn’t surprised that he knew. The pack hadn’t exactly been discreet or thoughtful when throwing around that term as teenagers.

“Sorry.” she replied.

“Don’t be. It’s kind of endearing. And Seth used it as a nickname, so I got used to it pretty quickly,” he chuckled. “How is your brother, by the way?”

Leah felt a bubble of hysterical laughter threaten to break loose from her throat. It was too much to even fathom. The vampire she had been dreading, the one she remembered as a stone-cold killer, had just stitched her hand and joked that he didn’t mind if she called him a leech. It was laughable, the fear she had felt at even the mention of his name, when he was fondly reminiscing about her little brother and checking her for head injuries.

 The dissonance was jarring. And it didn’t even encompass the pure need her body and soul were radiating.

“I…I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Edward was back to his perplexed state, all thanks again to Leah.

“It’s too much,” she gasped. She ground against the cheap hospital sheets on the bed, the pull intensifying like a one-ton magnet.

“If you’re not feeling okay, we should really do a more thorough check up. Some more tests.” He sat still and then deeply inhaled in her direction. “Although, I’m not getting the scent of any hemorrhage or further injury,” he said, mostly to himself.

“I want…” Leah felt wild, like she had loosed the most primal part of herself. Like she felt when she used to turn.

“Yes?” Edward encouraged, caution creeping into his voice.

“I want…,” What did she want? What was she trying to say?

“What is it?”

As if her body knew exactly what she had needed, it sprang forward, and she wrapped her arms around Edward’s middle. He stood in one smooth motion in reaction to her sudden surge, the stool wheeling excitedly out from under him. Her face was buried in his scrubs, against his stomach.

Even as she willed her arms down, they wouldn’t move, and she felt the stillness in Edward’s body, like she was hugging a lifeless, marble statue. She contemplated the utter shock he must be feeling, and her complete helplessness at being unable to explain. Or even detach herself.

To her own shock and unexpected delight, Edward moved in closer; not to push her away, but to lay his hand against the top of her head. He swept her hair back, smoothing the sheet of it down to the nape of her neck. She wondered if he was accustomed to being touched, or if he was simply acting human to blend in. To not raise the alarm of the all the other people around them.  

She felt tears spill over once again, leaking from her eyes and into the fabric of his scrubs.

She didn’t know if they were from joy or terror at what she had just done.

“Hey.” His hand continued the same ministration, smoothing her hair. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. Those stitches are going to dissolve in a week.”

A small sob escaped her throat. He truly had no idea.

He was a little hesitant but soothing, his one hand now resting against the back of her neck as the other rubbed comfortingly down her back. So gently, as if the mighty power of ancient legends didn’t rest within him.

“Would you like to be kept overnight? I can arrange it and call your mom. Or Seth. Whatever you want.”

She just clasped him tighter, barely allowing herself to breathe in the clean smell. If she didn’t let go, or look up, she wouldn’t have to explain.

And he was acting as if he cared so much, allowing her to cling to him as she rode the contradictory waves of despair and ecstasy. She never wanted to leave his arms.

At least that was the plan until another voice rang out sharply from the direction of the ER entrance.

“Leah?”

She knew that voice, who it belonged to.

She slowly pried her face away from Edward’s midsection, her hands falling into her lap while loose strands of hair clung to her wet face. Edward kept his hand on her back.

Leah glanced over to where the Chief of Police had just entered.

 Paul LaHote Jones stood on the edge of the frantic scene and Leah knew her time was up.

Paul would most certainly want to know why she was hugging a vampire in public without any restraint and why said vampire was allowing it to happen in the first place.

His face broke the spell and the black bands of fear that Leah had ignored until this point twisted and squeezed as she struggled to make sense of what had occurred. The fear entered her mind and confirmed the darkness that was spreading within her meant only one thing, even as the rest of her clung to the thought of Edward.

This had to be a mistake.

Notes:

Thank you for the kudos but please don't be afraid to login and comment/review! Helps me write faster ;)

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Notes:

Own nothing but my own original writing. Second half of the last chapter, as promised. Once again, I’m late and I apologize. Life happens, sometimes in the worst way. All I can say is hold your loved ones close, every chance you get. It’s a short chapter, but lots more to come soon. Thank you again for reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text




“And Paul drove you to your car?” Sam asked.

Leah had told him most everything, spared no detail, and now all she felt was emptiness. She could no longer muster the embarrassment and the loathing she felt at losing control, at touching Edward. At succumbing to this…sickness.

To his credit, Sam hadn’t flinched at that part.

“Yes, he drove me to my car…and followed me up the highway to make sure I was safe getting back.” It was true, he had turned around only after seeing she was headed in the general direction of La Push.

What she couldn’t describe was the suspicion and shock in Paul’s face when he asked if she was okay, ignoring Edward in the process. She couldn’t convey the complete loss she felt when Edward finally released his hand from her back and allowed her stand and walk away. Or how normal she had to act when leaving and sitting in the darkness of the patrol car while listening to a staticky radio, both her and Paul silent and unsure of what to say to each other. It was then she resolved to get ahead of rumors and potential conflicts and ask Sam straight out to do anything in his power to make this go away.

What choice did she have?

Sam rubbed his hands down his face, and steepled them over this mouth.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” Leah joked half-heartedly. 

Sam looked at her bleary-eyed. Like he pitied her. And just like that the situation was so much more serious that she could have ever imagined. Everything she needed to know was in that look and she began to quake with tension once more.

“No, don’t look at me like that. Don’t do that. Just tell me what we’re going to do about this.”

“I can’t…,” Sam started.

“No, no, no, no Sam. Don’t you fucking say you can’t. You won’t. You won’t.” Leah’s panic was back in full force, as they both finally entered the land of the worst-case scenario.

Sam held his hands up. “Please calm down, you’re going to wake up Grace.”

It was enough to get Leah to take a cleansing breath and try to clear her mind. As a result, the darkest thought she ever had, and ever would have, shone through. Leah stared at Sam with a strange gleam in her eye as she fed the madness behind it.

“We can fix this,” she offered calmly.

“How?” Sam replied.

Leah’s imprinted self clawed at her insides, begging her not to speak it aloud.

“We can lure him here. You can do it and get rid of the body. Leave no trace. Nothing for his family to find.”

Sam froze and dropped his hands. His mouth was agape.

“Leah…”

“I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t desperate, Sam. You and I both know it’s a mistake.”

Sam shook his head.

“It won’t be too hard. I can help – …”

No,” Sam’s voice was like thunder, deafening and absolute. He wasn’t even loud; he didn’t need to be. All he needed was to back his answer with the authority of an alpha, and she would never question it.

Leah hated him in that moment. Almost as much as she hated herself.

“Sit down,” he said quietly.

Leah remained standing and crossed her arms defiantly.

“Is that a command,” she challenged, hating that she felt the power in his words.

Sam let his head fall back on the couch and groaned.

“I’m not demanding you do anything. I’m asking you, please. Before you make a fucking mess of this.”

Leah deflated and sat down.  And she admitted the truth to both Sam and herself.

“I don’t actually want…that.”

“I know you don’t,” Sam slowly emphasized. “That would be nuts.”

Leah hung her head and gave a heavy sigh.

“I don’t need to spell out that it would break a treaty that has bonded us and the Cullens for one hundred years. Every single person in La Push would be in danger,” he warned. “And Edward has given me no reason to think he’s a threat,” Sam admitted. “We fought alongside each other…or we were ready to at least.”

Leah pushed away memories of all the La Push shapeshifters, completely phased, waiting under a sunny, cloudless sky at the foothills of a purple peaked mountain. Waiting for death.

“The Cullens have always stood by their word,” Sam continued, “and they’ve kept human eating sorts away from our territory.”

“It was their fault all this happened in the first place,” Leah argued, every word so much weaker and unconvincing than it was in her head.

 “Even so,” Sam replied diplomatically. “You know I’m no fan of vamps, even animal eaters. But I’m not going to be the one to start a war, not when the lives of all our families, our children, lay in the balance.”

Leah thought of Seth. And Sue. And the girls on her coding team, with their bright futures just in reach. She shuddered.

Carlisle Cullen seemed like a reasonable man. He was a caretaker, that much was clear. For spirit’s sake, he was a vampire working at a hospital, and as far as she knew, he hadn’t eaten anyone. She remembered an impossible sounding rumor from her pack days, that he had never drunk human blood. And Esme was …sweet. There was no other word for it. She couldn’t exactly imagine them leading a massacre to avenge the death of their son, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

Grief and love did crazy things to the human psyche. Probably even worse things to the inhuman psyche.

Speaking of which, Leah was still waiting to hear something that could help her. Anything.

“Then I’ll just get him to reject it. Those happen right? Rejected imprints?” She wanted to sound hopeful, but the idea of Edward refusing her distorted the tenor of her words, and they came out more dejected than anything.

Sam shook his head again. “That’s not a good idea, for so many reasons.”

Leah regarded him with simmering disbelief. “Are you kidding me right now? You’re supposed to be helping me. So, help me.” She paused, trying to manage her rising anger and suspicion. “Why are you shooting down everything I say?”

“I think you know,” Sam replied with a degree of helplessness. “In fact, I think you’re feeling it right now.”

Nauseating waves of loathing and pure, unadulterated devotion mixed and pushed their way through Leah.

“I can handle it,” she forced out.

I can barely handle it, she amended in her head.

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You know, you just might be stubborn enough to be the first one of us to ever reject an unbreakable bond. Go ahead and try. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier.”

Leah couldn’t believe how much of a jerk he was being.

“Yes,” Leah shot back, her voice dripping in sarcasm. ‘This is about you.” She spread her arms wide and looked about the room. “This is all happening to you. Fuck what I think. It’s not like I had any plans for myself before all of this!”

Sam didn’t reply but she could see his fists clench as if he was also remembering something he was trying to push away. Their argument held distant echoes of another they had years ago. They were close to dangerous territory, especially with Emily likely hearing every word in the next room.

Sam whooshed out a breath and appeared to be willing himself into some sort of calm. He stood and paced to the other side of the room, running his fingers through his long hair and pulling it back.

“It’s hard, Lee. All of this. So much harder than we ever expected.”

Leah continued to stew but felt a pang of regret. She didn’t doubt the pull was as hard to resist as he was describing. She felt it. Constantly.

“Well, I’m out of other options and that’s the only one left.”

“Not exactly,” Sam replied, somewhat sheepishly. She knew where he was headed, but that was not an option. That would never be an option.

“Don’t go there,” she warned, even as she felt warmer at the prospect.

“I’m just saying, he has supernatural abilities and he’s damn near unbreakable. It’s not like he could ever be with a human, not in that way. Think about it, he could kill them if he ever tried.” Leah struggled between feeling disgust and curiosity at his words. “Your strength is one of your greatest attributes as a wolf, almost equally matched to his. Outside of his own kind, you kinda make sense. He couldn’t hurt you in that way, you know. You aren’t fragile-.”

Leah cut him off with a murderous glare. But she couldn’t deny he made some sense.

He groaned in frustration. “Leah, I’m the last person in the world who wants to encourage this, but I don’t think I have a choice either here. Something greater might be at work and it might be in your best interest to accept it.”

“In what world?” Leah blurted out in disbelief.

Emily chose that exact moment to enter, quiet and observing as she took a few wary steps into the room. Leah was vaguely surprised when she crossed over to her and chose to stand a few inches behind her, away from the circle of her and Sam’s conversation, as if to avoid intruding altogether.

Sam held his hands out in surrender. “Just hear me out.” Leah crossed her arms again. “I was trying to say before. We could kill him, insane as that idea is. We could force him to reject you. We could drive him out of town with fire and pitchforks. I don’t really care about him.” He set an intense gaze upon her. “You would be the one suffering. You would be waiting in the wings, completely devoted, for the rest of your days and then some. It would break you in the worst way and…,” He shuddered. “You know I ignored my imprint for a few days at most, and it was agony. I wouldn’t wish that pain upon my worst enemy, least of all you.”

He had a far-off look in his eyes as he finished, as if remembering that distant wound. Leah had a front row seat to his futile attempts to keep away from Emily and not accept the imprint, and it had clearly marked him, even in so short a period of time.  

She also felt herself flush slightly at Sam’s reference to their high school melodrama, but Emily didn’t seem to care. Everything unfolded as it should between all of them.

And this too will unfold as it should.

She ignored the errant thought.

“Have you thought about what everyone else will think? Me gallivanting around with a vampire. I’m sure the pack is going to be thrilled.” Even her imprinted self had to agree that the idea of the pack accepting this union was ridiculous. She wouldn’t put it past them to try and finish the job she had first suggested.

“You can rest easy that they won’t do anything to harm Edward. I’ll make sure of it.” Sam solidly assured her. But that was only the half of the issue to Leah. “Although, I have to say this, and you need to hear me. I doubt you’ll be running to him, and it’s probably for the best that you only see him when you’re absolutely ready. Maybe even take a few days to yourself since you’re so intent on it anyway.” He paused and readied himself to drop whatever it was he wanted on Leah. “When you do go to him, he can never set foot here, in La Push. That boundary will always hold.” Sam was dead eyed serious, and Leah was left speechless. “This will always be your home, of course.” He ended his statement a little more unsure than he started. She hoped he realized how much of a jackass he sounded like right now. Like everyone she knew would be okay with her imprint, as long as she kept the vampire away by splitting her life into two opposing halves. That seemed so easy and practical.

“Oh, oh, well thank you Sam.” she mocked before barking out a half hysterical laugh and throwing up her hands again in frustration. She caught a glimpse of Emily’s glare at Sam. “I didn’t want him in my life in the first place. But sure. Sure! I promise to never break the goddamned treaty that turned me into a goddamned wolf in the first place and bring a goddamned vampire here!”

“Sam, I don’t think that’s helpful or the time for this,” Emily sternly chided.

“I just need to make it clear that -.”

“No, I need to make it clear,” Leah interrupted. “There is no way in hell this can happen.”

“It doesn’t have to be romantic like that, Lee. It’s so much more than that. Maybe it will stay platonic, or I don’t know, you can be friends.”

Leah gave him a baleful look. “What imprint have you known about that didn’t end romantically?” She went further. “But okay, let’s say your right. That we are exceptionally close friends, and he is at the center of my life. What regular romantic relationship could ever survive something like that? Any person would take one look and figure out they couldn’t compete. It would send them running.” Leah would have to put an important part of her aside, and that didn’t sit well with her either. Any way they spun her future, it seemed she would be the one making the ultimate sacrifice.

Sam couldn’t argue with that

“What will you do, then,” he asked, resigned. “What about you?”

 “Yes, what about me, Sam?” The panic rose in her again. “I just got to a good place. With everyone. My family. The council. Even you.” That peace had lasted all of a few minutes. “Are you saying I made it through all the bullshit, just to end up here?” She contemplated being shunned by the very people who raised her; the community who now looked upon her with grace and pride, pushing her away at this revelation. The idea was so immensely unfair, and she felt her heart break. “No one is going to want anything to do with me. As a teacher. As a friend. As anything.”

She felt the warmth of Emily’s supportive hand on her shoulder.

“That’s not true. You’ve got us. Always.”

Leah turned toward her, secretly grateful but feeling the truth of her impending loss as she struggled to compose her face.

“My life is over,” she choked out, feeling so vulnerable she thought she might crumble into dust.

Emily shook her head again as she tightened her grip. “No Lee, no. I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but we would never let that happen.”

“What can you do?” Leah whispered pleadingly. She looked back at Sam “You just said it’s inevitable. What can anyone do?”

Sam could only stare, a feeling of hopelessness thick in the air between them. 

And then the most honest, unrelenting fear she held beneath her anger and bewilderment finally broke to the surface. It was confusing because she resisted so hard. But it was the one thing she knew could end her, should it ever come to pass.  

“What if he hates me?” There was a hush in the wake of her question, something that didn’t exactly inspire confidence. “No vampire, no matter how reasonable they seem to be, could ever want this for themselves; someone, let alone a fucking wolf, following them to the end of eternity.” She paused as she contemplated that truth, absolutely convinced of its certainty. “He’s going to hate me. He’s going to curse the day he ever met me. And it won’t even matter because I don’t have a choice.”

She thought of Edward’s cool hand gently cradling hers and nearly cried.

“You don’t know that, Lee.” Sam desperately tried his hand once again at reassurance and he fell short.

“From what Sam’s said about Edward,” Emily hesitantly offered, “he doesn’t seem like a cruel man, Lee. He wouldn’t hate you for something that’s out of both of your control. Just like how I could never hate Sam. He may understand in time.”

“It’s different. He’s a vampire and a killer.” Leah just sighed, defeat and exhaustion finally overtaking her. This whole conversation had been a false ray of hope in the darkness. “He doesn’t have to be cruel. He just has to have his own life and choices taken from him. Everything else will follow.”

Like it did for me nine years ago.

She shrugged off Emily’s hand and hastily made for the front door. She felt the other two follow at her back, those extra sensory abilities now in full effect. She hated it so much.

“Don’t leave like this,” Sam quietly beseeched. “Please don’t do anything rash, Lee.”

Leah paused with her hand on the front doorknob. The night was quiet outside and she dreaded what else it held for her. She wouldn’t do anything because she couldn’t do anything. Sam had made that abundantly clear.

“You’ve tied my hands and somehow left me to fend for myself. You don’t get to tell me anything,” Leah replied matter of fact. “I can’t believe I thought coming here was a good idea.”

Not waiting for a reply, she turned the knob and stalked out without looking back.


The house was shrouded in darkness when Leah entered, the lone exception being the bright yellow glow emanating from the kitchen. Not that Leah needed it. Every clearly outlined wall and piece of furniture taunted her sharp eyes.  She heard a cabinet open and shut and the clank of porcelain and metal against the counter, while a tinny voice narrated something about the scandal behind the downfall of a popular startup company.  

Sue loved her podcasts. Leah assumed she was trying to finish one before bed as an excuse to wait up for Leah and make sure she arrived home safely, without seeming too smothering.

Leah slowly made her way over, pausing at the threshold as she watched Sue putter around the counter with her back to the kitchen entrance. She dipped the metal scoop into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream and proceed to fill a small bowl with a spoon already resting inside. She finally turned to put the pint back into the freezer and caught Leah quietly watching her.

“Holy shit!” Sue grabbed her chest and doubled over the small granite topped island, catching her breath. “Lee, don’t do that! You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry,” Leah replied in a monotone, hardly registering any emotion, not even to tease Sue for being paranoid and scaring easy.

“That’s okay, but you’re back a little late. I was worried.” Sue, now recovered from being so badly startled, took in Leah’s face and Leah could sense her anxiety at what she saw there. “Why are you standing in the dark like that?”

Leah stepped into the kitchen, onto the speckled kitchen tile. She absently remembered helping Jake cut and fit in the tile over some dated linoleum last year, to makeover the kitchen as a surprise for Sue.  

“Better?”

Sue narrowed her eyes. “Not exactly.” She abandoned the ice cream on the counter and moved closer to Leah. “Seth told me your thing at the high school in Forks went well, but I wanted to hear details from you.” She picked up her phone and paused the podcast, and then looked at Leah expectantly.

“Where is Seth?” Leah asked.

“Sleeping,” Sue answered briskly, not one to be chased off the subject at hand. “Now tell me how the PTA meeting went.”

Leah gave her a weak smile. “The proposal went through; I start next week. I’m happy about it.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

Leah shrugged. “Just tired. It’s been a long night.” She suddenly felt warm under the bight lights of the kitchen in the heated house and removed her parka, leaving her hand exposed.

Sue immediately saw it and sucked in a breath. “Sweetie, what happened?” She grabbed at Leah’s arm, but Leah shied away while holding her hand, shaking a bit because the pain in her hand had nothing on the pull inside her.

“It’s nothing. I fell. I’m fine.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Sue argued, concern wrinkling her forehead and coating her voice. ‘Where did you even get the bandage, the clinic closes at six.”

Sue was a nurse practitioner at the IHS funded La Push emergency clinic. And while she hadn’t been scheduled to work today, she certainly knew Leah couldn’t have been there tonight.

Leah glanced down and stoically replied. “I was in Forks and then I went to Sam’s.”

Sue’s surprise at her visit to Sam’s briefly shone, but she covered it well.

“Oh, well that’s nice you ended up going. Did you meet Grace?” she asked hopefully.

Leah nodded. “She’s adorable.”

“She is.” Sue pushed further in response to Leah’s strange tone. “Did you hurt yourself there? I could have come over and taken a look.”

The effort it would take for Leah to explain to Sue her predicament, to encompass the absolute and utter defeat she felt in this moment, was beyond anything Leah was capable of right now.

 How could she even begin to explain this to her own mother? Sue had had a hard enough time accepting her and Seth’s shapeshifter transition and her father’s death all those years ago. This would break her already broken heart into even more pieces.

She opened her mouth but then shut it, the struggle in voicing what she went through the last few hours very apparent, and she knew she was once again scaring Sue. Her mask was cracking into infinite shards, and she wasn’t even trying to hide her absolute devastation at this point. Sue could see everything.

But the words wouldn’t come.

Sue was fully unnerved now, steadying the panic in her voice.

“Leah, what is it? Please say something.”

Leah couldn’t take it anymore.

“Mom, I -.” Leah’s voice tripped over her words and that one tiny break was enough to obliterate the fragile dam holding back the tidal wave of her emotions. Leah’s eyes filled again, and it was no use as she half fell into Sue, her legs giving out from under her. It was almost a relief for everything to explode, for her body to stop straining against the shock and for every feeling to flow out like the sea in a terrible, all-consuming flood.

The tears came hard and fast as Leah sobbed inconsolably and she laid her head against her mother’ shoulder, soaking the collar of her shirt. Sue held Leah up, frantically asking again and again what was wrong, but tightened her arms around her daughter, knowing Leah would simply fall to the floor if she didn’t. Leah continued to wail hysterically, hyperventilating between sobs; unable to speak and reassure Sue, but unable to stop.

Leah didn’t know if she would ever stop.


 

Notes:

Please review/comment and stay safe out there.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Notes:

Apologies, apologies, apologies. Life, it’s a real hard thing to ignore, unfortunately. I also went down a Bridgerton Season 2 spiral and I’ve finally surfaced. One fanfic at a time, haha. Anyway, here is the next installment (it’s a big one) and I’ll try to be more regular with updates. Thanks again for reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

How do I reach you baby, I’ve been thinking lately

That you’re too good for me

How do I tell you darling

I’ve been underwater

I can’t breathe

- Jordan by Claud

 

The shelter of Leah’s down comforter that shrouded her bed had never been more welcome then in the morning that followed that fateful Thursday night. After Leah’s dramatic breakdown in the kitchen, Sue half carried her daughter to her bedroom and lay vigilant by her side, stroking her hair until she fell asleep. Sue didn’t press the question that night, but when Leah awoke on Friday, aching from her emotional hangover and more than a little embarrassed Sue had witnessed her loss of control, she found her mother staring thoughtfully at her from the foot of her bed. She was folding some fresh pillowcases, some leftover laundry Leah had surely abandoned downstairs, and Leah could see she was already dressed in scrubs for her shift that morning. Leah looked down and saw she was wearing pajamas, half remembering her mother helping her pull them on as she stepped out of her new jeans and left them in a heap on the floor. Sunlight streamed through the gap of her gauzy bedroom window curtains, and turned her water bottle into a prism; which in turn created little rainbows that danced across her walls.

 

She enjoyed them for a moment before her memory kicked in and made Leah panic and feel around the mattress for her phone. She had no idea if her alarm had gone off that morning, or what time it currently was, or honestly, if it was still Friday. Her world had turned upside down, and she wouldn't be surprised if time no longer had any meaning.

 

Sue clocked Leah’s panic. “Relax Lee, I already called the high school. I let them know you’re taking a sick day.”

 

Leah stopped her frantic search. “You what? No, I’ve never taken a sick day. I gotta go,” she groggily explained, unsure if she was making any sense.

 

“There’s a first time for everything. They’re replacing your class today with study hall and asked me to tell you to feel better,” Sue stated firmly. “You aren’t going anywhere. Not after last night.”

 

Leah flushed and closed her eyes, burrowing her head back into her pillow. She was secretly grateful she didn’t have to get up, but now there was no distraction for her gnawing anxiety. Her eyes felt dry and inflamed from her wracking sobs, her sore hand still pulsed a little, and…for fuck’s sake, the chasm of need was still there, the dire pull alive and more present than ever. Maybe a little more manageable now that she was resting and had expected it this time.

 

Leah groaned.

 

Sue gave a worried sigh. She sat on the bed and rubbed Leah’s leg through the covers.

 

“Sweetie, you really scared me last night.”

 

Leah shook her head, guilt flooding her. Did she really have to put all her shit on her mom? As if she didn’t have enough to worry about. “I’m really sorry. I’m fine, obviously. Can we please forget it?”

 

Sue scoffed. “I don’t think that’s ever possible. You haven’t cried like that since you were a kid. Not even with…Sam.”

 

Leah grimaced and pushed away her lingering anger at Sam from last night. He was the last person she wanted to think about. Him and…well, the other one she was doing her best to avoid picturing.

 

“Men,” she quietly grumbled.

 

“What’s that?” Sue perked up.

 

“Nothing mom, really.” Leah made an attempt at a tired smile, but she was sure that probably scared Sue more than her crying. “Thank you for your help, but I’ll be fine. Just a long, overwhelming night…with the injury and stitches. You know how it is.”

 

Sue wasn’t buying of it, the suspicion sharp in her eyes. “I can tell you don’t want to talk about whatever it is.” Leah tried to interrupt with reassurance that nothing was wrong but Sue held up her hand. “Bup, bup, bup…I’m your mother, I know when you’re lying to me. And I’m not going to push right now, I’ve got to get to work.” She hesitated. “But do you think you can tell me at some point soon?” Leah knew Sue was desperate to fix the problems she actually had control over, since there were so many that she didn’t. Leah could only imagine the fear she felt, not being able to protect her kids from the stuff of nightmares. A surge of gratitude and love filled her chest and, for a brief moment, the imprint ache dulled a little into the background.

 

With all the sincerity she could muster, Leah sat forward a little and took Sue’s hand. She still wore her wedding band and the cool metal rested against Leah’s palm.

 

“Maybe.” Leah shrugged. “It’s just not a big deal.”

 

 Just a colossal life change that makes me question everything I know.

 

“It definitely is,” Sue shot back seriously, but then she smirked. “But you look better this morning, and I’m running late, so I’ll take it.”

 

She gave Leah’s hand another squeeze and brushed down her scrubs as she stood. Leah lay back again, satisfied she had put off her mother’s curiosity for the time being. As if there was a way to explain this later. Well, that was future Leah’s problem, not one for the Leah sleeping in on her first day off in years.

 

“Okay, I mean it,” Sue followed up authoritatively, forcing her parenting onto Leah now that she was held captive from her regular life. Leah rolled her eyes, knowing her mother was giddy from happiness to be able to do this. “You’ve been going full throttle and are resting today. No work, no errands, no trying to sneak out of the house to do anything. And go easy on the screen time, no doom scrolling.” Sue magically pulled out a sleek back object from behind her back, which Leah recognized as her phone.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Leah shrieked. “You tried to hack into my phone.”

 

“With no luck, I might add. You have very strong password protection.” Sue shrugged as she tossed Leah’s phone to her. “You gave me little choice.”

 

“Oh, naturally. So taking my phone without me knowing was the best option?” Leah asked sarcastically. Sue ignored her.

 

 “There are leftovers in the fridge, and I refilled your ridiculous, giant half gallon water bottle and put it on your desk along with a few Tylenol. I changed out the bandage on your hand for a fresh one while you were sleeping. I’ll be calling every few hours and I’ll know if you’re not resting. And Seth will be home in the afternoon. I’ve asked him to look in on you. Told him you weren’t feeling well.”

 

Leah’s raw throat ached at the mention of water.

 

“So you’re holding me prisoner in my own house?” Leah asked.

 

“Precisely.” Sue replied crisply, moving to exit, but then pausing as she gave Leah an unfathomable stare. “I love you so much and there’s nothing you can about it.”

 

“Oh my god, bye Mom.”

 

“Okay, okay, bye.” Sue smiled and closed the door.

 

When Leah was sure Sue had exited the house, she pulled her comforter and sheet over her head and huddled into a ball with her throw pillows. It was nice pretending the world didn’t exist in her dark, little bed hovel, and she breathed in the detergent and cotton scent of her sheets. She rolled into herself so tightly that her heartbeat thudded into her ears and thrummed along with the pull of the invisible band; her body feeling like the world’s most obnoxiously painful, human guitar string.

 

As much as she wanted to pretend, the world was still out there, along with the man waiting at the end of that cord.

 

Vampire man, Leah reminded herself.

 

But the images came unbidden: Edward’s grin at her joke, his touch as he gently stitched her cut, his fingers probing her head, and the run of his hands down her back. Before she knew it, Leah’s mind took over and moved a step past reality into fantasy. Edward’s hands now reached the edge of her blouse, and fingers crept under the hem. It was nothing salacious, just the chance for pure skin to skin connection, his cool hands sliding up her shirt onto her back and holding her to him. Leah, instead of burying her face into his chest as she had last night, now gripped the outside of his arms and tilted her head up, fiercely staring into his eyes. His face glowed back and she basked in the warmth of being so close to him. She could almost imagine the pull disappearing completely, the need completely absent while being this near, when she finally accepted -.

 

No. No. No. No.

 

 

Leah flipped the coverings off her, her hair whipping into her face as she literally shook away the thought of Edward. She was going to fight it, dammit. No one could tell her what and how to feel. Her life was her own; damn Sam and the pack and the Cullens all to hell. She would resist it, she knew she could. A new day, a new beginning, and she was feeling stronger by the minute. Success was hers.

 

So much so, that Leah successfully fantasized about Edward’s face and hands three more times before falling back into a restless sleep.

 

 The chirping of text notifications woke her again and she checked the time on her phone. Bleary eyed, she noted it was past 1 PM and that her thirst had increased tenfold. Forcing herself up, she gulped down half her water bottle, throwing the painkillers in for good measure and stretched.

 

She thought of Edward again, a kind expression on his face as he complimented her career choices. And then she pictured hugging him.

 

It stayed with her as she clumsily unlocked her phone, seeing three missed calls from her mom. She texted her back, filling her in on her prolonged nap and immediately received a tan thumbs up emoji. Sue had obviously been eagerly waiting by her phone and Leah felt guilty once again.

 

She distracted herself by checking her texts and swiped away one from Sam asking how she was feeling. It included another plea that she take it easy and to come see him before she planned on telling Edward, just so he could be prepared. There was one from Emily, a meme about mansplaining that made Leah snort and a message about always being a short drive away if she wanted to talk. Leah thought of all the things she said and felt yesterday and typed back a thanks, but made no offer to converse further. She wasn’t ready for that just yet, even if she no longer felt as strongly that her life was over.

 

Leah shuddered lightly at her own tendency toward the dramatic during her period of shock last night. She hated causing concern and decided to send another message to Emily, to hit home that she was much more centered today. She doubted Sam and Emily would take the bait, but maybe in time it would work.

 

There was a text from Angela that she quickly answered, reassuring her that she was okay and expressing enthusiasm for starting to teach the next Wednesday.  Another text from Jacob asking how she was feeling, and if she had some kind of virus. She sent him a GIF of a moving hazard sign. It was vague and dumb enough that Leah knew he would take it as a joke and indication that she was back to normal. And hopefully not pester her with questions about last night.

 

As she cleared the electronic clutter, she noticed one text she had dismissed as spam. It was not a number she had saved in her phone and was unfamiliar, with a strange area code. She typed it into a web browser before opening the message.

 

The area code was Chicago, according to the Internet. Who did she know in Chicago?

 

Only one way to find out, Leah told herself while clicking on the message, her head still feeling slightly fuzzy.

 

E: Hi Leah, this is Edward –

 

Leah dropped her phone as if it had sent a thousand-volt shock through her body and backed away from it, reverse crab walking onto her bed as she felt the imprint pull clamp around her like an iron vise.

 

So much for being centered.

 

Leah stared at her phone for a solid five minutes and then inhaled deeply. Once. Twice. Seven times. Her chest loosened a bit. Some clarity entered her mind as she began to process what had just happened.

 

Edward Cullen had her number. How in the hell did he have her number?

 

Her patient forms or medical records? That was probably illegal…if he hadn’t been her doctor. There was probably an exception if he was worried about a patient. Not only an exception, but regular practice.  And Leah’s stomach now lurched at the idea of something further being wrong. Maybe he found something off in her exam. Maybe she was a giant walking blood clot. Maybe her wolf gene was finally ending her and she would die young.

 

Her mind spun crazier theories by the second until she finally clambered off the bed. Now she had no choice but to read his message.

 

With shaking hands she unlocked her phone, absently grateful that the screen hadn’t cracked, and read the rest of his message.

 

E: Hi Leah, this is Edward. I hope you don’t mind me reaching out, I got your number from your intake form. I wanted to follow up on your hand and see how you were feeling overall. Any headaches? If you’re feeling poorly at all, please let me know. This is my cell number. Please save it and contact me at any time should you need to. After all, it’s not as if I sleep 😉

 

Leah wanted to be furious. She wanted to want to text back and ask him to never contact her again, and to erase her number from every device he owned. Last night’s Leah would have punched the wall and then made a plan. She would have hacked into the hospital records and eliminated any shred of information that they had collected on her. This is what she got for hugging a vampire.

 

Instead, Leah softly rubbed her thumb over the text on her screen, rereading it a second, then a third time. She was charmed by the oddly formal tenor and long block of text, like he had drafted a letter – or at least a very nice e-mail. His age was showing. The only exception was the winking emoji – he was fucking winking at her - preceded by his statement about sleeping.

            Apparently, he and Leah now had inside jokes about his vampire tendencies. She had no idea how this happened – until she remembered the comment she had made about his cold hands. Not only had she opened the door to these kinds of comments, she had encouraged it.

 

And if she was being honest, her imprinted self was loving it.

 

Before she knew it, his number was saved to her phone under Edward C. As if she knew any other Edwards.  

 

She contemplated his text and quickly typed her own uncharacteristically formal response, hovering over the send button. Mashing her eyes shut, she finally hit it. 

 

L: Hey Edward. I’m doing well, thanks for checking. My hand barely hurts today. No headaches or aliens bursting out of my chest. I did take a sick day and sleep past noon, however. It seems you don’t sleep at all and I sleep too much. And sorry about my little freak out, I don’t make it a habit to hug ER doctors. Just had a long, stressful week that would not end. You know about that, obviously. Immortality, am I right?

 

Re-reading her text, Leah couldn’t help but slap her palm to her face and groan. She made too many jokes and she had brought up the hug. She just had to be a damn comedian. And would Edward disapprove of her reference to his superhuman status? Was he afraid the NSA would hone in on that keyword. Privacy was probably key to being a vampire, right?  Dammit, she should’ve thought it through.

 

Now he was going to hate her. The familiar twist of fear that went through her yesterday found it’s way back again, and she dropped to her knees.

 

Please don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me.

 

Forget the imprinting. Leah felt she was doing a great job of repelling him through her own human awkwardness.

 

But then her phone buzzed in her hand, and Leah frantically swiped into her texts.

 

E: No aliens? Then I guess that makes you Ripley. She makes it to the end 😊 Glad to hear about your hand, just keep it clean and the rest should take care of itself. Please do not worry about the hug. As far as “freak outs” go, that was one of the more pleasant ones I’ve experienced, especially when the alternative is being vomited on, which happened this morning. But no matter, I strangely enjoy the chaos when it comes to my patients. And you are right, time can stretch in the worst way when you are like me. You have no idea what I would give to sleep again. On a bed, for hours at a time. You’ll need to sleep enough for both of us, so I’m pleased you were able to rest today.

 

Apparently, Edward was up to date on his pop culture references, which came as mildly shocking to Leah.

 

She could barely breathe after she finished reading.

 

On a bed.

 

Her mind conjured up a plush king bed in a fantasy home, which then transitioned to the full one in her childhood bedroom, inches away from where she sat on the floor.

 

Hours at a time.

 

It was nighttime with a thunderstorm rattling the windows; a midnight blue cast over the room as she lay in her full bed, on the verge of sleep. Edward lay next to her, awake, but with his eyes closed as he listened to her even breathing.

 

No idea what I would give.

 

He moved in closer to her, his arm circling her waist as she settled back comfortably into him.

You’ll need to sleep enough for both of us.

 

Her fingers met his on her waist and they interlaced. He took the knot of their hands and brought it up further to her chest–

 

“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” Leah once again threw her phone away from her person and mentally beat herself into a pulp.

 

What the hell was she thinking? Just yesterday she had predicted her own ruin because of the imprint, and now she was actively contributing to it. She had lost herself and now there was a trail of texts linking them. Did she really need to remind herself that he was a fucking vampire? How could she slip so badly?

 

An inner voice told her that she knew why. It wasn’t slipping, but falling. Releasing herself and falling headfirst into…

 

No. She silenced the voice and forced herself to stop thinking about him

 

About his kind eyes and concerned messages and ….

 

Leah sighed in disgust and dropped her head into her hands. Her phone lay silent near the door.

 

She didn’t look up until she heard the front door open and a familiar clomping of sneakers on the stairs. Her bedroom door flung open as Seth filled the frame, peering at her over the banana he was demolishing.

 

“Hey,” he managed to get out between bouts of loud chewing. “Mom is wigging about you being sick. But you look okay to me.”

 

Leah stared at him balefully from the floor.

 

He looked over her room, at her crumpled sheets and clothes and the phone near his foot. “It’s a mess in here. Why is your phone halfway across the room?”

 

Leah answered truthfully. “I threw it.”

 

Seth sneered. “What, your crush not text you back or something?”

 

Leah’s eyes widened and she stared in disbelief at Seth. 

 

Seth started to squirm under her gaze. “What? It was a joke,” he mumbled.

 

He had no idea how much it was not.

 

And Leah managed to lose control once again. Except this time, laughter cascaded out from her and she could not stop; hysterically cackling until tears ran down her face and her sides ached. She doubled over and slapped her hands against the floor while Seth backed away uncomfortably and muttered that she was definitely not sick.

 

Leah didn’t stop for a long time.

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t wanna deal with drama

Tryna pretend

This is not my problem

 

I’ll keep saying “Sorry”

For mistakes I never made

I’ll keep saying “Sorry”

Just to make it go your way

 

-Jordan by Claud (ct’d)

 

 

 

 

 

Class had gone well, at least as well as Leah could have foreseen considering her mental state. It had been six days since she had imprinted on Edward and after the confusing emotions of the hours and days after, she had finally reached a semblance of equilibrium. Her mom was off her back, Sam seemed to take the hint that she needed some space, and she had even hiked up to Second Beach with Seth on Sunday, taking in the view of the breathtaking sea stacks under a bright sun. The rhythm of the waves and fresh air always restored her and she felt considerably lighter as they walked back home, pockets full of sea glass like when they were kids. On Monday and Tuesday, she had returned to teaching, managing to get through full school days, while her lesson plans may have been sparer than usual. Even though she was still avoiding the remainder of the pack, even though she had to admit she was still scared and angry, she was not about to let it consume her life.

 

Time would tell if that strategy worked.

 

  Her and the imprint pull even got along a bit now, the latter giving her a reprieve any time she let Edward infiltrate her thoughts. Her drive into Forks was the ultimate concession, the band like a comfortable hug when she parked in the high school lot and made her way inside. It was a fickle beast, but she could tame it with regularly timed intervals of Edward.

 

“And that is how you code a circle in your graphic output.” Leah went around the room, and observed circles of varying colors in the graphics boxes of each student’s BASIC program software. They were accompanied by the ubiquitous “Hello World” in the text output, the first phrase any BASIC beginner would code. Leah knew some of the students were more advanced  than this, but she thought it best to start with the basics in order to get everyone caught up to speed. Some students were taking this in place of an elective requirement and didn’t know where to even begin. 

 

Even though there was some reluctance, and the unmistakable ennui of teenagers permeated the room after her introduction, everyone completed the task before the end of the hour and seemed generally pleased with their accomplishments. She even received a few thanks and a “See you later, Miss Clearwater” from a friendlier junior student. She knew he was laying it on a little thick when he gave her a roguish smile with the confidence of a popular high school jock, but she would take it. This had been a minor success.

 

She could use a few of those right now.

 

Angela walked up to her from her perch at a desk in the back of the computer lab and grinned.

 

“Don’t mind Tyler. He’s been trying to make it with every younger female teacher since he was a freshman.”

 

Leah cringed. “Gross…and a felony.”

 

“Yeah, next time just slap him on the nose with a newspaper.”

 

They laughed and, after shutting off the lights in the lab, entered the deserted hallway.

 

“Oh and amazing job, Leah. I think I even learned something.”

 

Leah was not great with compliments, especially from people her own age, and shook it off while absently staring at a row of lockers to their right.

 

“It’s fine. Great distraction from -.”

 

She stopped herself and realized with horror that she had almost said Edward’s name.

 

Angela noticed her pause and waited expectantly for her to finish.

 

“From?”

 

Leah gave a nervous laugh, wracking her brain for something, anything that fit. The band pressed a little tighter around her middle as she skewed her thoughts from Edward.

 

“From, you know…the daily grind. Life. Everything.” She gestured around vaguely and continued walking.

 

“You might be the only person who distracts herself from work with more work,” Angela teased. 

 

Leah waited for her to catch up, but she stayed rooted to her spot in the hallway. She turned, about to ask her what the issue was, and noticed Angela eyeing her with interest.

 

“There’s something different about you,” Angela observed shrewdly.

 

“What?” Leah felt uncomfortable about where this was headed.

 

“Yeah, you’re kinda bouncy today. Like on edge, in a good way.”

 

An image of Edward smiling and lightly touching her cheek with his thumb pervaded her thoughts and she clenched her fists. 

 

What truly wrecked her was the increasingly affectionate tone of these imagined gestures. It cut into her core that instead of just wanting to push the man into bed like any other woman her age with a major crush, she was dreaming of holding him and talking about their lives. It was so sweet and gave her acute secondhand embarrassment

 

But then again, she knew this fell far beyond a major crush.

 

Leah changed the subject. “Excitement, I guess. We are still getting drinks right?

 

Angela immediately brightened and snapped her fingers. “Yes, definitely. Port Angeles is a little far for a weeknight, but what do you think about Tisane?”

 

Tisane was a funky teahouse opened by a relocated Seattle couple in the center of the Forks main thoroughfare, that also served food and had a martini list a mile long. While  Leah loved it, and used to occasionally venture there with Rachel, but would never admit that to Jacob or any of the guys. She could only imagine the epic roasting that would occur.

 

“Yeah, I love it there. But does everyone else?” Leah knew a few teachers and friends of Angela were joining, and knew the Taproom was far more popular with this crowd. Only the more eclectic youngsters went to Tisane. And any old timers avoided both altogether.

 

“Oh yeah. They owe me. If I have to drink another seasonal ale from the Taproom, I will literally dump it on someone’s head.”

 

Leah was genuinely excited for Tisane. She imagined her and Edward in a chintzy, darkened corner of the bar, their faces lit by a tealight candle in an artsy, porcelain holder shaped like a llama. They were holding hands.

 

Ugh, this is getting weirder by the day.

 

The invisible band wrapped around her like a warm blanket.

 

“Crap!”  Angela suddenly yelped. “I left my gradebook back in my class room and I have to enter a bunch of essay grades before Friday. Meet you at Tisane in 20 minutes?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Leah barely heard Angela since she still had Edward and her in a hipster fantasy, on the brain. She sauntered out to where she parked in the upper parking lot, careful to avoid the stairs to the lower lot and all its pitfalls. It was technically what had gotten her into this particular mess.

 

The weather was finally on the upswing and it was unusually warm that day, especially for March. With temperatures reaching 70 degrees, and the sun peeking out for a moment around noon, Leah felt more resolved that ever that she could tackle anything that came her way.

 

And so she had dressed up a little, as well. She wore a midi cream shirt dress cinched at the waist with a belt with wooden loops and an oversized green army jacket. Her dove gray booties completed the look and, deep inside, Leah knew she has been incredibly deliberate in her fashion choices that day. There was always the possibility -..

 

“Leah?”

 

Leah froze by her car. It was impossible.

 

She took her time turning toward the voice while attempting to process the absolute contentment she felt in that moment. For the first time in days, the pull fully relaxed; no longer taut but spreading and transforming until it coated her like rays of the sun. The relief was palpable.

 

When she finally took him in, Edward was giving her his signature half smile, same as when he entered the ER. The upper lip dimple taunted her.

 

Leah blinked a few times before she could force out any words.

 

“Edward,” she breathed out hurriedly.

 

Out of his scrubs and in relaxed jeans and a green sweater, he was truly a sight to behold. The overhead LEDs in the hospital had not done him justice, and Leah found her eyes wandering his face again. She was reminded of a typical high exposure black and white photo from the turn of the century, with the men impossibly handsome and carrying the gravitas of someone twice their age. His features were classic with a more feminine, aquiline nose and large, enchanting eyes with long lashes, but his sharp jawline and broad shoulders had a very masculine set to them. The combination was astounding to Leah

 

But unlike those photos, Edward’s hair wasn’t slicked back or coiffed at all. It was downright disheveled, and Leah had a faint hunch he’d been running his hands through it constantly. And that mouth…

 

She unwittingly leaned back against her Subaru for support.

 

“What…um. What are you doing here?” she managed to ask. She crossed her arms protectively over chest, trapping the urge to move even closer.

 

He chuckled. “I swear I’m not stalking you.”

 

She laughed back nervously while simultaneously wishing he had in fact come here for the sole purpose of seeing her.  

 

He waved a large manila envelope and pointed towards the school.

 

“Esme and Carlisle are still benefactors here and wanted to make a contribution to the arts program. This is the paperwork for the boosters meeting. They asked me to drop it off on my way to work tonight.”

 

“Oh, of course. That’s really nice of them.”

 

Edward smiled softly. “You won’t find two better people.”

 

Leah thought she would melt at his sincerity.

 

He then leaned in conspiratorially. “But I have to admit, when I saw you by your car, I did maybe take a detour. I’m surprised I startled you, I thought you would have scented me out at least by the time I got to you.”

 

There he went again, speaking about their abilities like they were little quirks of character as opposed to horrible mutations that were forced upon them.

 

But Leah couldn’t find it in her to not respond. And she definitely couldn’t admit that her daydreaming about being close to him  drove her to such distraction that she ignored every other instinct in her body, both wolf and human.

 

So she lied.

 

“Oh, I did. I just figured it was your mom. I’ve seen her around town a bunch.”

 

“Ah.” Edward conceded. He couldn’t know that beyond his astringent vampire scent, there lay unmistakable and unique hints of cedar plank and something reminiscent of the ocean. Another layer she had just picked up. There was no way Leah would have mistaken him for Esme, even as in her head as she had been.

 

She made her own attempt to distract him.

 

“Are these some new streetwear style of scrubs?”

 

“What, this?” He looked down at himself. “I’ve been known to dress like a human occasionally.”

 

Leah couldn’t help herself. She smirked.

 

“And you.” He waved his hand up and down, gesturing to her. “You are obviously on your way to something far more exciting than me in a parking lot.”

 

Leah blushed so hotly, she could feel the blood streaming to her face. Every cool and collected response evaporated from her mouth, and she hated the effect he had on her. She already hated compliments and one from him sent her spiraling into speechlessness.

 

Enough already. You can hold your own. Just because you imprinted doesn’t mean you lost half your brain.

 

“Just teaching,” she forced out as normally as she could. She was sure her face was still glowing pink. His perpetual half smile indicated he noticed it, as well. 

 

  “Right, how was your class.”

 

“Great…great. You know…just great”

 

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s…great.”

 

“Mhhmm.”

 

He pointed in the general direction of her arm. “How’s the hand.”

 

Leah hadn’t realized how close she had been pressing her palm against her chest, and flipped it over to show him. “Stitches dissolved this morning in the shower. Left barely a mark.”

 

It was true, a small white line the length of her fingernail was all that remained.

 

“Didn’t I tell you?” Edward seemed satisfied with himself.

 

Leah gave him a quick smile.

 

The silence between the grew as he peered at her little more intensely now.

 

“You know I came over here to also apologize. If I offended you…over the phone.”

 

Leah hadn’t even had time to catch her breath in this interaction, and now he had brought up the words she had replayed in her head incessantly since last Friday.

 

“No. What?” Leah was confused.

 

“It wasn’t very professional of me. To linger with the messages. I figured you didn’t text back and-.”

 

“No!” Leah exclaimed. It caught them both by surprise.

 

Leah composed herself and cleared her throat. “Sorry, that was loud. It just…I wasn’t offended. Really.” Edward nodded, seemingly relieved. “You might have the best bedside manner of any doctor I know, like really above and beyond. I appreciated the follow up.”

 

“Of course,” he emphasized. “You seemed a little burdened that night, I just wanted to make sure – “

 

“No, all good.” Leah cut him off before he could dig any deeper.

 

Edward doubled down on his intense stare, clearly not taking the hint that she was done talking about any previous encounters they had.

 

“I would really like to know what you’re thinking.”

 

What?

 

“I’m sorry, what I’m…,” Leah trailed off.

 

Edward shook his head and let out a frustrated sigh. “I must apologize, again. That was…strange of me to ask. Old habits.” He gave a self-conscious chuckle but met her eyes. “Please feel free to ignore me.”

 

But now Leah’s curiosity would not be satisfied and something nudging at the edge of her memory made her immediately uneasy. “What old habits?”

 

Edward looked a little stunned. “Oh, you know, my thing?” He paused. “My annoying tendency to know what everyone is always thinking.” Leah just stared. “To read minds? The pack was never as clear, so I’d get my wires crossed a lot. But I’ve managed to tame it a bit now.”

 

If the blood had rushed to Leah’s face initially, it was now draining from it an alarming rate.

 

“What?” she whispered.

 

Edward appeared taken aback. “Surely, you knew about that?”

 

Leah didn’t say anything but stood dumbstruck, replaying a shred of a memory of Seth coming home from high school lacrosse practice. She had been moping in the kitchen after being forced to spend time with Sam and the pack that day and the last thing she had wanted to listen to was more monster talk. When Seth asked her what he had missed, she simply snapped at him. He shot back by saying it must have been really great for Edward and the pack to be around her bitchy thoughts all day. She hadn’t thought much of it, just Seth trying to get back at her for being a miserable mess all the time.

 

Edward and the pack.

 

If the ground didn’t swallow her into infinite hells, she would surely dig herself down just to escape this moment. Her imprinted self urged her to be relieved, that now they could finally admit this to the world. But Leah could not get past the idea that he had known the whole time and not said a word.

 

“I’ve tried to block out a lot of the events from back then,” she whispered again.

 

Edward nodded. “That’s completely understandable.”

 

“So…you’ve heard everything…from everyone…this whole time,” Leah asked coldly, still frozen in the revelation that he could break her at this very spot, this very minute.

 

Understanding finally set in Edward’s eyes and he looked her calmly at her, ensuring she could see every ounce of truth behind his next words.

 

“No, not at all. Like I said, I’ve been managing it much better now,” he stated slowly. “These kinds of things – gifts- they evolve over time, to fit an individual need for people like me.” He put out his hands and carefully stepped forward. “It started to feel like a violation, every time I did it. A few years ago, I found a way to restrict the flow and access to other’s minds. It’s purely voluntary now, I can choose to...”

 

Leah let out a strangled breath.

 

“But I don’t,” he hurriedly amended. “I promise, your thoughts are your own. I would never invade someone’s privacy unless necessary.”

 

“What makes it necessary?” Leah’s voice was low and dangerous, but she knew it just covering her fear; the utter devastation that he could know and not have acted.

 

“When the people I love are in danger,” he replied firmly and a little defensively.

 

Leah looked down, overcome by his intensity. She could see how that could be convenient for him and his family. But it was still so incredibly disturbing that he could know more.

 

Edward’s voice softened. “Otherwise, only if someone chooses to share what they want.”

 

He seemed sincere, overwhelmingly so, and Leah found herself starting to believe him.

 

“You’re being honest?” Leah asked again, giving him no harbor for half truths or omissions.

 

Edward shook his head. “I would never lie about something like that. To tell you the truth, it’s been a relief for me as well.”

 

Leah couldn’t even look at him, the mere possibility she might let something slip held her gaze to a point beyond him. He didn’t even owe her an explanation, her imprinted self reminded her. Yet, she felt somehow betrayed all the same.

 

“Well, okay.”

 

“Okay.” Edward laughed once, in disbelief. “We seem to be learning a lot about each other in a very short space of time, Leah.” He tried to make eye contact, but she stubbornly refused. “I’m so sorry I upset you, I’ve never been the most socially adept. I’m a little out of place. Out of time.” He shrugged, a little helpless. “The last few years… it’s been a process.”

 

Leah felt a shard of guilt stab through her and the invisible band twisted painfully but just for a moment, and her body relaxed again. She hated being the cause of his self doubt in that moment, but she also knew she needed to protect herself. She was no good to anyone unless she also protected herself.

 

And that meant not admitting her imprint to Edward in the Fork High parking lot. If ever.

 

Not if. When. 

 

“No.” She took a deep breath. “No, I’m sorr-.”

 

“Leah, you’re still here?” Angela was about twenty feet away, stepping down from the curb of the front entrance. “I thought you’d be at Tisane by now.” She stopped in her tracks after recognizing Leah’s partner in conversation. “Wow, Edward Cullen! This is a blast from the past.”

 

“Angela,” Edward nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Good to see you.”

 

“Yeah, you too. Came by for nostalgia’s sake, did you?” Angela teased. She explained offhandedly to Leah. “We used to be in the same class.” She seemed at ease with him, or as at ease as a human being could be around a creature of the night. She might not know, but Leah was positive her instincts were telling her to step back from him carefully.

 

“Just dropping off some paperwork.” Edward held up the envelope again. Leah wondered if it amused him, or bothered him to no end, to perform these incredibly human gestures for the sake of others. She felt a sudden thrill at being the only one to know Edward’s true nature in their little group. “I don’t want to hold you ladies up. Enjoy your evening.” He gave a friendly wave to Angela and turned to Leah again. “Leah, I’ll see you around.”

 

He backed away a few steps, holding her gaze, and then turned towards the school, his loping stride easily covering the distance up the entrance stairs and to the inside.

 

It’s okay. He doesn’t know. Breathe, Leah.

 

Leah let out another breath she didn’t know she was holding.

 

It was only then she noticed Angela looking at her in confusion. “See you around? You know Cullen?”

 

Leah found her keys and unlocked her car door, ready to drown the day in a hibiscus tea martini.

 

“Only a little,” she offered as she got in. “I’ll see you at the bar.”

 

The pull around her middle increased to the point of her wincing.


 

 

Go your way

Cause I can’t deal without you

Go your way

Cause I can’t be without you

 

-Jordan by Claud (ct’d)

 

 The inside of Tisane was glowing with ambient lighting and the drinks were stronger than Leah remembered. She reminded herself that she still needed to drive home, and then she tossed the idea aside and just gave in. She would pay the ridiculously large Uber fee to get to La Push just this once, and try to enjoy herself in this new group of people trying their best to include her in their conversation.

 

“So Leah, what do you teach?”

 

“You’re from La Push right?”

 

“I heard the new Police Chief is from around there too. Do you know him?”

 

“Hey, what’s Indian for beer?”

 

The last one put her in a fighting mood but Angela smoothly transitioned away from that particular individual, another Forks High teacher named Mike, who already looked completely blasted.

 

“Mike stop asking stupid questions.”

 

Leah took another sip of her martini and decided to answer, just to make him uncomfortable in his ignorance.

 

“There’s no such language as Indian.”

 

Mike let out an obnoxious pshht. “Well, you know what I mean.”

 

“No, I really don’t,” Leah sniped back. The drink was making her a little dizzy, and her interaction with Edward was still replaying in her mind, little flecks of anxiety now invading her memory of it. The combination was setting her on edge,

 

Mike shrugged and went off to a corner area with a flamingo pink dartboard, where a few others were already throwing sequin coated darts with feather tails at the target.

 

“Sorry about him,” Angela apologized. “He doesn’t usually come out, but he’s going through a divorce, and overcompensating, unfortunately.” Angela grimaced at her and Leah smiled.

 

“As long as I don’t have to speak to him the rest of the night,” Leah conceded.

 

“Done and done!” Angela clinked her martini glass with Leah’s.

 

She leaned in a little closer to her, her face in the glow of the tealight in the same llama candle holder Leah had in her Edward fantasy.

 

“So, you going to tell me how you know Edward “Too Sexy For His Shirt” Cullen,” she asked coyly.

 

Leah snorted. “What was that, his high school nickname?”

 

“Only in private, we never called him it to his face.” Angela squinted. “But I’m pretty sure he knew.”

 

Oh, he definitely did.

 

Leah now knew that for a fact.

 

“Ang and Leah, come play. We need a few extras for tiebreakers.” Angela’s boyfriend Ben, an engineer at the local power company, was waving them over to the darts area. He was on the cute side, a little shorter but with glasses that lent him some nerdy chic charisma.

 

“One sec, Ben.” Angela appraised Leah again. “I’m going to let you stay here and finish your drink, so you can avoid the Mike of it all. But after, you spill.” She pointed at Leah. “You spill on how the most remote, beautiful man I’ve ever met in my life is back in Forks and swanning up to you in parking lots.” Angela, satisfied with her demand, swayed over to Ben, who wrapped an arm around her waist. One of the group then managed to hit a bullseye and a loud cheer went up in that section of the bar.

 

Leah took it in a little ruefully, finishing her drink and asking a passing waiter for another. She didn’t exactly fit in here. She didn’t exactly fit in with the pack at La Push any longer either. Especially with this imprint. She guessed she was doomed to wander the country until she felt normal enough to embed herself somewhere. But not too far. She couldn’t go too far.

 

You know where home is, the small inner voice reminded her.

 

She snorted at the ridiculousness of her situation. Once again, as if Edward would want anything to do with her after he found out.

 

He will.

 

Like Edward would follow her to Seattle and her dream job, and live in the townhouse, and be there cooking her dinner when she came home. And she would spend her life making it up to him, for the fact that he would have to make this sacrifice for her.

 

Because she couldn’t leave him alone in her mind. And she knew it was on the precipice of spilling into real life.

 

He will follow because he will lov-.

 

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!” Leah urged herself under her breath. The waiter daintily placed her fresh drink in front of her, and she grabbed at it greedily with both hands. She took a large gulp, and it burned down her throat, the band pulling even harder as she tried to push away her feelings.

 

“Whoa, rough day?” A man at a mess of tables to her left was staring at her, half amused and half concerned. He looked a few years older than her, smartly dressed with a five o’clock shadow, tan skin, and kind eyes.

 

Leah noted that she would normally find him enormously attractive but for her…affliction.

 

“No, just a rough couple hours,” she answered breezily. “My day was actually going great.”

 

“I see.” The man nodded. “Well in the interest of easing your evening a little, I can fuck off or be your unofficial bar therapist. Your choice.”

 

Leah genuinely laughed.

 

 “Phew, I really didn’t want to leave and not shoot my shot.” He grinned shyly and stuck his hand out. “I’m Miguel.”

 

Leah slipped her hand into his and shook it. It was warm. “Leah. Nice to meet you.”

 

“Beautiful name for a beautiful lady.” Leah rolled her eyes. “Sorry went too far, let’s start again.” Miguel turned his chair towards her and bowed his head in interest. “So, how did you end up at a teahouse martini bar in the far reaches of Washington state on a Wednesday night?”

 

Leah gestured to the group in the corner. “I teach with a few of those crowd. We decided to get a drink.”

 

“Ahh, a teacher,” Miguel repeated with interest, taking a swig of his beer. “So what do you teach.”

 

“Coding.” Leah crossed her arms. “And what exactly are you doing here?”

 

Miguel gave her another charming grin and nodded his chin in the direction of a crowd seated at the elevated bar, a few of them laughing at someone telling a joke.

 

“A bunch of us work at Peninsula College. I’m in the admissions office. A colleague told us about this place, and we decided to venture a little farther than usual.”

 

Leah perked up. “Oh, my brother takes classes there. Do you know Seth Clearwater?”

 

Miguel pondered the name. “That name sounds very familiar. I’ll need to see a face to put it to a name though. Do you have a picture on your phone?”

 

Leah pulled out her phone with a smirk and while the imprint band didn’t loosen, it didn’t tighten either. There was no harm with a little light flirting, and Miguel seemed fun. A nice distraction, though she knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.

 

She showed him a picture of Seth.

 

“Mmm, okay, I think I’ve definitely seen him around campus. But since you have your phone out…,” He pulled out his own phone, looking at her innocently. “And I have MY phone out.” Leah bit her tongue trying not to laugh. “I say we exchange numbers. Whadya say?”

 

Leah rolled her eyes again. “That was pretty good,” she admitted.

 

Miguel leaned in even closer. “Do you know what’s even better? This seafood place in Port Angeles that has the best oysters until Olympia, hands down. I’d love to take you sometime.”

 

Leah contemplated Miguel and his phone, and the earnest expression on his face.

 

He was a great looking guy with a normal job nearby who wanted to take her out on what sounded like a pretty amazing date. He was confident, charming, and funny without any links to her past and she could imagine how easy it would be to say yes and let him whisk her away. They could have a normal life, without the complications of being tied to a supernatural existence. Leah knew she had wanted that for herself, not so long ago. In many ways, she still did.

 

You can still have that. Just in a different way. A better way.

 

Leah exhaled. What was she thinking? Saying yes to Miguel would be far from easy.

 

“Miguel, I…,” Leah started but then her phone buzzed. A text notification.

 

Without even thinking, she swiped at her screen.

 

E: Hey, I’ve been thinking what a nasty shock that must have been this afternoon. I’m truly sorry. And I know it’s not exactly pleasant reliving the past. There are some things I’d rather forget as well. I’m willing to keep my distance if you’re not comfortable with me. I really understand. And this can be the last thing I ever text you. Just say the word.

 

Leah’s whole body warmed as the band once again expanded.

 

Edward was a vampire. Edward was a killer. Edward was dangerous. Edward…was being considerate and offered to never talk to her again if that was her wish.  

 

Cruel, indeed. What am I doing?

 

“Who is that?” Miguel curiously peered over to her phone and Leah’s head snapped up. She had nearly forgotten where she was.

 

“I…a friend,” Leah supplied unconvincingly.

 

“What, like a boyfriend?” Miguel teased.

 

Leah sat back in her chair.

 

“A girlfriend?” Miguel asked a little more nervously. “I can back off if that’s the case, I was just feeling a vibe.”

 

Leah shook her head, suddenly very weary and resolved at the same time.

 

“Miguel, I’m so sorry, I have to go.” Leah got up to leave and grabbed her coat, almost toppling her chair. She noticed a small pink stain on the front of her white dress, a drop from the hibiscus martini.

 

“Oh, okay.” Miguel leaned his chair back from Leah’s abrupt exit, allowing her to pass by. “Sorry, was it something I said?” He looked disappointed.

 

Leah paused and looked back at him. She was sure he would make someone deliriously happy one day. Just not her. Never her.

 

She would have been a little sad about this revelation, had she not felt the shift of new possibilities invading her whole body.

 

She was so tired of fighting. So, so tired.

 

And while she didn’t deserve to have her life upended, she did deserve to not put her mind and body through this senseless torture. As Sam had made clear, there was no way around it, and honestly, Leah no longer cared if there was. If everyone was going to hate her regardless, she thought she might as well lean into the thing that felt so innately natural, that she would be a complete masochistic fool to ignore it.

 

“Not at all.” Leah shook her head. “You were amazing. Just unfortunately, it’s all wasted on me.”

 

Leah walked away, handing a few bills to the bartender to cover her drinks while asking them to keep the change. Another cheer went off near the back of the bar, and Leah made a mental note to send Angela a text to thank her and let her know she left in an Uber.

 

Outside, rain was beginning to splash in fat droplets from the darkening sky onto the asphalt. The humidity had reached a saturation point, and this was the result. Instead of running to her car, she stood for a minute, facing up to the ominous clouds. Raindrops tapped across her face and entered her hair, dampening her scalp.

 

She ran her fingers through the now wet strands of her hair and started moving again. Instead of getting into her car, she shrugged out of her army coat and hastily threw it into the backseat. She would ask Seth or her mom to come with her to pick up the Subaru tomorrow.

 

With this new attitude rising, and being bathed by the cleansing rain, Leah was starting to feel a little wild. She chucked off her boots into the car as well, so the suede wouldn’t be ruined by puddles and mud, and walked to the edge of the lot. She remained unseen by the bar patrons hurriedly rushing to their cars under the worsening squall.  

 

A copse of tress, leading to a narrow opening into the larger forest arteries of the Olympic National Park, resided there. Leah’s canny sense of direction had returned, and she used it to orient herself. Once she did that, she took a deep breath, and opened herself up to the imprint pull, allowing it to guide every single instinct she had avoided the past six days.

 

He was there, once again; a golden ray of light now shooting up the band and filling her with purpose.

 

Leah began to jog barefoot, first into the copse and then to the banks of the South Fork of the Calawah River. After she felt accustomed to the sensation of rocks, and moss, and mud underfoot, her speed steadily increased. She followed the river a few miles upstream, building on her pace and traction and then she really let herself feel the full extent of her abilities.

 

She took giant leaps over fallen trees and branches, deftly avoided thorny underbrush to her side and used river rocks as launching points for daring shortcuts across narrower bends of flowing water. She was fully sprinting now, her heart beating deliciously with the exertion, and Leah realized she had forgotten the exhilaration of letting herself go. It organically rose, the instincts for measuring her breath and heartbeat; her sight adjusting and then readjusting to the shadows and the night, depending on the position of the moon and its reflected light. She wasn’t ready to truly shift, not anytime soon, but she could definitely admit she missed this. She shrieked with laughter after landing on the other side of the riverbank and scaring a herd of deer from the spot.

 

And that’s when she began to slow. The imprint pull loosened considerably as she headed northwest and reached a clearing upon a grassy hill.

 

She had followed her north star, and it had led her here.

 

Another grouping of trees shrouded her view, but she could just make out the back of a massive residence, light shining welcomingly from a few of the glass windows. In fact, the whole backside of the house seemed to consist of glass, and Leah thought how incredibly impractical and dangerous that must be.

 

Not safe for Edward.

 

Except of course, when you were a family of vampires who had little to fear. Leah internally rolled her eyes at herself.

 

So this is where the Cullens live?

 

She had no plans to go up to the house or make her presence further known. With their senses, the vampires could probably already tell there was a wolf lurking nearby. But she also knew the Cullens let the pack run part of their watch near this area anyway. Hopefully, they would mistake her for another.

 

She leaned against a tree and caught her breath while resting her hands on the rough bark. The bottom quarter of her dress was steeped in mud and forest floor debris, as were her feet. The rain had drenched her dress and hair and she knew must look like a phantom haunting these woods.

 

But none of this mattered, because she suddenly caught sight of a dark shape shifting in one of the lit windows. Definitely the outline of a man, one she would recognize anywhere.

 

She felt sufficiently hidden but walked herself behind the trees, just in case. The sight of him undid her even further and Leah felt herself slipping.

 

Not slipping, remember? Falling.

 

The imprint pull transformed, enveloping her and unhooking itself from around her body. She was encased, no longer pulled along like a reluctant creature. It turned inward, filling her bloodstream with light and energy, and a low thrum of ecstatic acceptance began to build.

 

Her imprinted self sang with utter joy.

 

This was her. This was what she wanted.

 

The resistance fell away and tears of release mixed with the rain on Leah’s face.

 

 Some of those tears were for the woman she had been and a future that never was. Some were in fear of what was to come.

 

 But mostly, she cried for the relief she finally felt.

 

She inhaled a full, uninhibited breath for the first time in days and felt the fresh air coat the inside of her lungs.

 

That invisible protection that she had built so high around herself opened and expanded, reaching down the imprinting bond and connecting her to Edward. He was forever a part of her now.

 

She wondered if he could feel it too. Her final acceptance.

 

Was it possible to gracefully collide with the unknown?  She would find out soon enough. Her new life was just on the horizon.

 

But for now, Leah silently answered the last message Edward sent her.

 

No, please don’t stay away.

Notes:

How about that? She’s a smart cookie, that Leah. Song lyrics are from Jordan by Claud, which I thought fit well here. The alien and Ripley references are of course to the classic horror movie, Alien. Tisane is a bar in Hartford, CT, a long way from Washington, but a great place I used to frequent when I lived in CT. The llama candle holder and sequin darts are my own deranged creations. Please let me know what you think with a comment/review

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Notes:

Here is the next chapter ie: Leah can’t stay away but hell if she’s going to be the first to fully give in. It’s a marathon with this girl, not a sprint :/. Thank you for your wonderful, insightful reviews/comments. I wanted to write a character and theme driven fic, and I’m glad even one of you is picking up what I’m putting down. As always, thanks for reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 











You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling

Clumsy cuz I’m fallin in love

-Clumsy by Fergie

 

 

Leah knew that a tributary of the river wound itself behind the Cullen’s house, burbling gently in the clearing at the bottom of rolling hill she had come upon that stormy night. She knew it ran back into the gradually cascading woods to the west of the house and that its banks were littered with twigs and dead leaves. She knew that the grassy edge rolled into slippery mud before disappearing completely under the surface. A small rapid formed at the crooked bend about twenty feet away, whirling foamy white around a staunch river boulder. She couldn’t tell how deep the water was but assumed by it had to be at least five feet; enough to swim.

 

She observed all of this to focus on anything but the fact that she stood by this very site behind an ancient oak shedding dead bark, staring at the back of the aforementioned house and contemplating what a terrible idea this was. Just standing there, barefoot in her cutoff jean shorts and a threadbare University of Washington t-shirt despite the cloudy sky. She ran a little hotter nowadays.

 

 And any vampires inside had likely already smelled her.

 

Well, if you want something to happen, make it happen.

 

She urged her feet to move, but they stayed in place, and Leah berated her inability to do anything when she had already made it this far. She rationalized she was building up the courage to approach, and any minute now, she would fly towards the house and…do what exactly?

 

Anything is better than criminal trespass and stalking around the property like a dead eyed creep.

 

Right, okay, she thought. She steadied herself and prepared to walk up, finally. She could start with a hello if anyone opened the door, hello was always a good place to-.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

 

The new vampire odor spiked too suddenly, too fast for her to react in any meaningful way and she spun unsteadily in response to the threat. Spun so clumsily, in fact, that she was unable to prevent herself from falling backwards in a tangle of limbs, right into the flowing water she had deemed deep enough to swim.

 

“Arghh!” She felt herself crash under the surface. Enveloped by the muffled , soothing sensation of being underwater, she drifted down. She was completely overtaken, the water much deeper than she had originally estimated. It was dark and inviting and…

 

And then as quickly as she fell, she was out of the water and being pulled upward. She now stood back on the grass while being held firmly in the cage of a pair of protective arms. Her bare feet squelched in the river mud.

 

She sputtered out the water dripping from her mouth and sinuses and pushed aside the seaweed curtain of her wet hair. In front of her was an unfamiliar vampire, a striking blonde one with a fiercely questioning expression, poised to launch himself. At her, she uncomfortably realized.

 

And to her back? Well, it was obvious since her heart sped up in delight at the delicious cedar notes rising above the more obvious vampire scent.

 

She rolled her neck backward, making eye contact with a pair of concerned paler gold ones.

 

“Hi,” she greeted as she coughed out a thin trickle of water.

 

“Hi,” Edward greeted back. “Are you hurt?” His eyes roved her face and down the front of her body, checking for any injury.

 

I’m supposed to be asking you that.

 

She shivered involuntarily, so completely encased in the glowing cloak of their connection, the one she knew only she could feel despite her fantasy that he instinctively could too. Edward finished assessing her but did not move away, instead gripping her tighter as he held her further from the other vampire. He wasn’t upset as much as disapproving, his expression conveying a small warning that the other should keep his distance.

 

“Jasper, I think you should head inside and..,” Edward started cautiously.

 

“Ohhhh,” the one called Jasper keened in surprise. He dropped to his knees, his hands clasped around his middle, and he gave another low moan. “Oh, what is that?” He looked up in desperation but then laughed incredulously. And winced. And fell back into a sitting position while closing his eyes shut. A look of serenity replaced his one of surprise and Jasper fully relaxed, eyeing them furtively from his seat on the ground.

 

“Wow. I have to ask. Which one of you is doing that?” He stretched his legs out. It gave Leah the strongest memory of getting high in college and falling weightless into oblivion – on a twin x-long mattress.

 

She shook her head to clear it. A few drops of water flew out from her ear.

 

“Uh, are you alright there?” Edward called out to Jasper hesitantly. It was his turn to be surprised. Leah really, really hoped her fall into the water hadn’t activated Edward’s need to read her mind.

 

Jasper laughed richly. “I’m perfect. It’s you two who are in trouble.”  He laid on the ground, and ran his fingers through the grass. “I haven’t felt something like this since-.” He bolted upright. “Alice!” he cried out.

 

‘What about her?” Edward asked calmly, He loosened his grip on Leah and she took that as a signal to step away from him. She crossed her arms over her wet t-shirt, a little disappointed at the loss of his touch, but willed herself to not show it on her face.

 

“I have to see her. My god, I have to see her, now more than anything.” Before Leah could even register his movement, Jasper was gone, a whip of wind startling her in his wake.

 

“What…who was that? A friend of yours?” she asked, still unsure if she had completely recovered from her fall into the water. She turned toward Edward, undeniably perplexed. “Is he okay?”

 

She saw the tension in his jaw as he turned his gaze toward the house.

 

“Family, actually. He’s fine, don’t worry about him.” Before Leah’s mouth could form another question, Edward added to his explanation. “He’s like us and hasn’t been in town very long. Mated to my sister Alice.” He turned back towards Leah. “They’re leaving today actually.”

 

Leah couldn’t think of a word to say that wouldn’t sound unbearably idiotic under the circumstances. He had found her lurking around his property and was offering explanations as if it was the other way around.

 

Did he say sister? And mated?

 

Edward interrupted her thoughts, however, an unreadable expression on his face as he ran his eyes once again up and down her body. Much more slowly this time. Her damp shorts and shirt provided woefully little cover from his incisive gaze and Leah found herself heating up despite the chill of her drenched clothes.

 

“You’re soaked,” he stated quietly. “You must be freezing.”

 “It’s not so bad,” Leah replied truthfully. And it wasn’t, not when they were so close. It was what Leah had been dreaming of for the three nights since their last encounter, and the undeniable draw of Edward only compounded the pleasant sensation of giving in to her imprint. “And so are you,” she pointed out.

Edward’s clothes and hair were indeed wet, but the effect was incredibly appealing. Especially when he took the next moment to smooth his damp hair back from his forehead, his eyes glinting in amusement.

“I guess I am. Wet…not freezing.”

If only she also did not feel truly ridiculous that he had caught her. She owed him…something.

“Look, I’m sorry for showing up like this -,” she tried by way of explanation but Edward shook his head.

“Let’s get you to the house,” he urged kindly, his half smile firmly in place.

“But..,” Leah started.

“We’ll talk inside,” he interrupted. “When we’ve both had a chance to dry off.”

Leah began to walk forward before realizing her toes were still firmly entrenched in mud and made an unpleasant sucking sound when she unstuck them.

“At least let me hose off my feet before I trail a literal Swamp Thing onto your carpet,” she huffed. She was humiliated with only herself to blame, and now to add to all of it, she was likely about to meet the entire family.

All of this could have been avoided if you had just rung the doorbell like a normal, fucking person!

Edward seemed like he was on the verge of laughing, but always a gentleman, he did not. “We don’t really have carpets but of course, whatever you want.” He held out an arm in invitation, up towards the glass backside of his impractical house. She passed him and felt the ghost of his hand guiding her on her back and towards the side of the yard. After rinsing her feet in the freezing jet of water from a coiled garden hose, she wiped her feet uneasily in the grass of the yard and followed Edward to the front of the house. He lazily flipped off his wet and muddy leather shoes to the side of a covered porch and pressed down on the handle of the finely molded front door. It looked heavy, likely real wood.

Edward turned back to Leah in question when she hesitated.

“You’re safe,” he softly promised when he saw her conflicted expression.

“It’s not that,” she hurriedly assured him. “Just, is this a good idea?”

She couldn’t exactly put into words how fast she felt all of this was moving. It felt overwhelming, to expose herself to another element when she was finally succumbing to the power of her imprint. Were his parents inside? How exactly would they explain this? She had envisioned telling Edward of her situation by…well, she hadn’t gotten there yet, but it certainly wasn’t in front of his family.

Edward lightly jerked his head forward for her to follow him.

“A hot shower and dry clothes are always a good idea. And Esme is pretty good at making tea for a vampire.” He winked and disappeared behind the door and Leah instinctively followed him through.

Her imprinted self stayed silent as her nerves jangled in apprehension.

What? Nothing to say now that we’ve officially reached a point of no return. Into a den of vampires.

Leah stopped dead in her tracks as she and Edward made their way past the large foyer and into an open concept living area.

She wasn’t sure what she had expected. But it most definitely was not this.

The gorgeous cherry hardwood floors paved the way to two areas: a collection of white furniture by a cozy vintage fireplace with crown molding and grand piano on one side, and a gigantic modern kitchen with granite countertops and island on the other. In the middle of the two, sat a dining room table of solid reclaimed wood, bands of gray blue and brown swirling through the roughly hewn edges. Carved chairs flanked each side, along with one at each end. Portraits and pieces of art hung at intervals along the wall, and Leah was simply too dumbstruck to take the specifics into account. A blown glass chandelier hung heavily in the center of the ceiling, its tentacles dangling in a fixed array of deep blue and sea green.

It was all so…normal.

Bougie, definitely. More than her family could ever afford, absolutely. But no different than the fixer uppers she once admired on Bainbridge Island, or that dotted the coast in the more affluent suburbs of Seattle.

Maybe a little too rich for Fork’s taste, but that’s probably why the solitude of the outskirts of town was welcomed by the Cullens. That and other reasons.

Leah had no idea what to make of any of this. And she automatically stepped towards Edward with a sinking stomach, as she noticed they certainly were not alone.

Esme and Carlisle suddenly swept in closer from the confines of the kitchen as another, slighter female vampire appeared from a winding block of stairs to the right of the living room. All of them pale as ice and hauntingly beautiful, frozen in time and yet moving nonetheless. Leah vaguely appreciated the smaller vampire’s haircut, a spiky, pixie style she would never be able to pull off. She belatedly noticed the vampire from before, Jasper, trailing her closely as he snaked his arms around her waist.

“Jasper,” the smaller one asked him in exasperation. “What is going on with you? The PDA is a little much.” Jasper nuzzled his face closer into her neck, whispering something into her ear, that same serene expression sitting on his face.

The little one bit her lip and gave him a wicked look.

“Talk is cheap, my love. I hope you can back that up.”

 ‘Alice, Jasper,” Esme jumped in quickly. “You might notice we have a guest.” Leah hadn’t realized how inviting Esme’s voice was before. Different than Edward’s, but like a lilting and warm embrace that automatically made her want to call Sue.

The woman positively glowed as she took in Edward and Leah, leaning slightly to the side of him to greet Leah.

“Leah Clearwater, I have to say this is a surprise,” she said pleasantly. Her gaze was curious but welcoming and she turned to Carlisle, who gave away nothing to Leah’s eyes.

He looked even younger outside of his scrubs and Leah found herself wondering if he was close to her age when he…became himself. And how exactly he suited the father role he claimed to the outside world.

Regardless, he nodded once at Leah and smiled. “It is, but I thought I sensed someone outside for a bit. My office faces the river,” he clarified, a light implication in his words.

Leah internally groaned. Edward’s father had seen everything, from her poorly disguised attempt at stealth to her falling and the subsequent…arrival of Edward.

“I am so sorry to barge in like this,” Leah apologized, embarrassed beyond belief but now focused on leaving as soon as possible. Preferably accompanied by Edward.

“Nonsense,” Esme waved away her apology. “We’re happy to have you. I was just occupied in the attic, trying to convince these other hoarders to throw away their long forgotten possessions. You wouldn’t believe the things we’ve accumulated over the years.” She paused for a moment. “Why in the world are you both so wet?” She turned to Edward. “Was that you I heard in the river?” Leah noticed Carlisle peer down at his shoes with some interest, a slight smile on his face.

“Well, Jasper was eager to make Leah’s acquaintance. So much so, he scared her right into the water,” Edward explained nonchalantly, staring squarely at Jasper.

“Jasper,” Esme chided.

Jasper stared back at Edward and without moving from Alice’s side, he turned and nodded at Leah. “Apologies,” he offered softly. “Was not my intention.”

“It’s fine. I wasn’t scared,” Leah emphasized. “But I should really go.”

“What kind of hosts would we be if we didn’t at least get you a towel?” Carlisle broke in again. He exuded genuine warmth and Leah relaxed a little, realizing who Edward modeled his impeccable bedside manner after.

“Rose still has clothes in her room,” the one called Alice piped in. She made no move to retrieve any but gestured towards the stairs with her eyes. “Her closet is a little scarcer since her last visit, but there ought to be something in there.”

She gave a Leah a calculating look, absently rubbing the arm Jasper had wrapped around her. “Wolves are hard to read,” she finally stated.

Is that supposed to be flattering? Or merely frustrating?

Leah scratched the back of her neck and looked away. The intensity of Alice’s stare felt as if it were cutting a ridge into her head and she uneasily wondered if Alice could also read minds.

“I’m not exactly a wolf,” Leah replied, somewhat defensive and still a bit in denial over recent developments. She hadn’t exactly shifted even if other enhancements were making themselves apparent.

Alice cocked her head in interest. “Sure you are. And it’s messing with my sight, unfortunately. But no matter, I live for a challenge,” she finished with a hint of mischief in her voice.

“Alright, Leah, follow me. Alice and Jasper, a pleasure as always, I know you were just on your way out” Edward cut in briskly, a small frown on his face as he ushered her away from their audience. “I’ve got everything handled, if everyone could just go about their days, please.”

“Bye Edward, I’m sure you do.” Alice raised her palms in faux surrender and chuckled as Jasper kissed her forehead. Esme and Carlisle gave each other meaningful glances before Esme lazily tipped open a kettle in the sink and filled it under the tap.  

Leah caught all and none of it, and she quickly followed Edward up the stairs. There was no world where this particular interaction wasn’t going to be awkward, and she supposed it was best to not try and dissect family dynamics at this stage.

But what exactly did she mean by sight?

She resolved to get some answers as soon as she was out of her dripping clothes.

 A sudden image of Edward lifting the hem of her shirt up and over her head flashed in her mind and she paused at the stair landing for a moment.

Whoa, that was, um, different. And incredibly hot.

“Rose’s room is just this way,” Edward called behind him, breaking Leah from her fantasy. She quickly followed him down the hall. She observed a hanging triptych with an image of angel on the wall at the end and turned left, using her bond to sense out which room Edward had walked into.

This must be Rose’s room. Whoever Rose is.

Edward opened the large closet doors into a beautifully organized walk in, while Leah took stock of the other furniture: Salmon walls and a bare mattress on a startlingly ornate wrought iron bed frame, with a velvet fainting couch pushed into the corner. Whoever Rose was, she obviously did not live here full time.

“Here we are,” Edward reappeared, armed with a blush towel and some folded clothing. Leah thought it might be sweats. She took the stack from him while touching his arms in the process, and shifted away quickly, attempting to not replay the things she was thinking on the stairs.

Stop it Leah. He doesn’t even know yet.

“Leah?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just saying there’s an ensuite bathroom through there.” He pointed out a door in the corner by the window. “Soap, shampoo, whatever you need should be in the shower.”

“Thanks, for this.” Leah lifted the stack, not exactly embarrassed but feeling heat streaking up the back of her neck nonetheless. “I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time.” He backed slowly towards the door. Leah found herself greatly appreciating it every time he did that; when he kept his eyes on her. “And, uh, come see me after. My room is on the other end of the hall.”

“Okay.” As if she could just leave. Her thoughts were in fact taking her in the direction that he shouldn’t leave and join her-.

Stop. He deserves a choice.

Then tell him!

I can’t. Everyone will hear.

“I mean it. I’ll hear if you try to escape through the window,” he teased.

Leah straightened her spine. She was at least confident enough to assure him she was staying. “I thought I made that clear on Wednesday. No need to stay away, remember? As long as you’re not breaking into my mind vault anytime soon.”

She had in fact texted him back, mocking him for his dramatic words and pretending as if she hadn’t spent hours that night basking in their new connection.

Edward spread his arms to fit the frame of the door and nodded, apparently remembering her words as well as she had.

“Your mind vault is safe, yes.” He stared back at her.

“Can you close the door?” Leah asked archly, enjoying the one up she had gotten on him this time, in sharp contrast to their last conversation.

Edward nodded but didn’t move.

“Edward?”

“Sure.” He finally moved back and the door slowly closed. Leah waited a moment. Then she retreated into the well-appointed bathroom and proceeded to have the best shower of her life.

When she emerged she investigated the pile of clothes more closely. It was loungewear, the expensive kind with Italian labels that she would usually sneer at for being overpriced. Why would she pay a fortune for clothes expressly made for sitting on her ass all day? The entire set was cream colored, albeit loose fitting and made from the softest material he had ever felt in her life. She wanted to repurpose them as sheets if it was possible.

What the hell do vampires need comfortable clothes for? Not that I’m complaining.

Slipping into the clothes and toweling her hair, she hung her wet shorts and shirt on the shower rod to dry a bit and then did the same with the towel. On her way out of the room, she caught her reflection on a full length mirror standing in the open closet. She couldn’t help but bark out a laugh.

She most definitely looked out of place and self-conscious in the marshmallow outfit.

Ridiculous, is the word you’re looking for. I look ridiculous.  

And while that may have prevented her from leaving the room before, she merely walked out without another thought. The energy field of her bond grew stronger and led her to the other end of the hallway. She passed the eerie triptych again, the feel of it a sharp contrast to the more modern, unassuming decor downstairs. The glossy patina of the painted wood betrayed an age far beyond anything she could imagine. The antique side panels displayed Christian religious motifs and biblical scenes, with the placid blonde angel and its gold inlaid halo anchoring the center panel. After taking a closer look, she was shocked to realize the melancholic face was a dead ringer for the man who had offered her a towel not a half hour ago in his dining room. Replace the flowing angelic robes with khakis and a light blue button-down shirt and it would be none other than Carlisle himself.  

She stepped back and hurried away.

 I’m…not sure I even want to know.

Just because Edward was now non-negotiable, didn’t mean Leah was entirely comfortable with all that entailed.

Her imprinted self hummed in satisfaction when she finally reached Edward’s room, putting any other thought out of her head. He was lounging on an overstuffed couch positioned to the side of this room, leaving her a full view of the heavy desk set against the same section of the full glass wall and a bed against the back wall.

A rather large bed dressed in various shades of blue, with tall posts jutting from each corner.

Hours at a time.

Edward must have noticed her staring because he chuckled.

“What’s a vampire like me doing with a bed you ask?” He swiftly stood and turned to face it alongside her. “Well, they’re not just for sleeping.”

Leah hoped the shock wasn’t showing on her face because that statement let loose a barrage of images that would have made an erotic novel blush.

“Like resting. We get fatigued too,” Edward clarified when Leah remained silent. He backtracked from his inadvertent suggestiveness.

But Leah wouldn’t let him off that easy.  

“And fort building,” Leah added. She shook off the awkwardness and resolved to gain control of the situation. She was now feeling a little cocky, a little more self-sure since she was now intruding on his space.

“Sure, building…forts,” Edward replied carefully. She could feel his eyes on her as she strolled further into the room. The inset shelves on the nearest wall held more books than she could count along with an incredibly impressive collection of vinyl records. Rows upon rows. Her father would have spent hours poring over the music if he had seen this.  

Leah lightly dragged her fingers over the thin carboard spines of the nearest row.

“I bet you’ve built a lot of forts,” she said, her voice a little husky. She pushed down any residual jealously she felt at the idea of Edward fort building with anyone other than her. The man likely had lifetimes on her.

Edward said nothing. She turned to gauge his reaction and found him standing, incredibly still but at attention with his arms crossed. He seemed conflicted, as if he was turning over some kind of decision in his head. But then he bowed in concession.

“I have over the years. Built forts, that is,” he answered.

Oh, well. That’s good to know.

If Leah spent too much time on this particular topic, she couldn’t trust herself to get them both out. As it was, she had no idea what Edward was thinking right now. She was a little envious of his idle gift, she had to admit. It would have come in handy when investigating the sex life of the vampire she had imprinted upon.

What has my life become?

“Okay, whatever this weird, charged thing is that’s happening right now. Let’s not do it.” Leah was feeling a little warm again. She couldn’t do this. Not before she had the chance to convey exactly the extent of how weird and charged her feelings actually were. The guy probably thought this was a little harmless flirting.

Do vampires flirt? Maybe this is normal to him.  

“I don’t know what you mean,” Edward replied innocently.

“Oh, ha, ha, Edward. Building forts?”

“Your words not mine,” Edward threw back breezily.

“Let’s move on.”

“Okay, whatever you want,” he replied. He smoothly slid back onto his couch, crossing his long legs at the ankle. So fucking human.

It frustrated Leah to no end, and made her fall a little further into her feelings. She was jumping without a bungee cord and it felt unsafe. She needed to let him know before she unleashed the wave, with him in such close proximity and with what felt like the world listening. The poor sap needed to know what was about to hit him.

In an outstanding display of emotional maturity, she decided to deflect.

Coward.

“Why do you do that?” she spluttered, her aggravation a thin shield upon her unsaid devotion. And desire. So much desire.

“Do what?” he asked inquisitively.

“Why are you being so nice?” She tore her fingers through her wet hair and paced towards the bed and then back to the door.

“Would you rather I wasn’t?” he asked patiently.

“No, that’s not what I mean, and you know it.” Leah faced him and crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes hard at him. “That day in the hospital, the texting, the conversation at my car. Pulling me out of the water. The texting,” she ticked off. “And now this.” She fluttered her hands nervously. “We’ve barely talked before this, we were never friends, even with the treaty. I see you for the first time in years and you’re acting as if…I don’t know.” she huffed.

Edward’s eyes followed her around the room. “I didn’t realize reaching out and making a friend was so unusual in this day and age.”

“I’m not sure I’m a friend you would want,” Leah shot back. That was underplaying it.

“I beg to differ.”

“What are you doing back in Forks?” Leah forced out.

“Visiting Esme and Carlise.”

Leah raised her eyebrows. “You’re going to stick with that.”

Edward examined his sweater, pinching a bit of lint off it and letting it drop. “I think I will.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “What, you come back after all this time? To relive being the hero, killing all those vamps, secretly hoping you get to save us again?”

She knew she had gone too far. Leah half expected him to rise to the bait, to get angry and finally demand she leave. She was testing the boundary and it hurt her to do so. But it was easier than confessing.

Instead, Edward’s face shifted into a vision of calm, her words ineffective and weak against his strong bearing. Resolve shown on his face, and she knew his next words would be nothing but brutally honest.

“I didn’t save anyone; it was our mess to clean. You were all…too young. None of that should have ever fallen on any of you.”

Leah was taken aback. Whatever she had expected him to say, it certainly wasn’t this admission of guilt. Leah had always thought he resented having to ally with the pack. That he thought them lesser beings, foolish and clumsy and unworthy of his attention. His sullen exterior seemed to signal this, to her and Jacob at least.

She had also picked up on something else he said.

“You said our,” she stated, her suspicion rising.

Edward nodded. “I did.” She could’ve sworn she caught a glint of apprehension in his eyes. Maybe even fear.

“You don’t mean your family, do you?”

Edward didn’t answer.

Leah wanted to push, but was unsure she should. She was already breathing down his neck and her anger was a poor disguise for what lay beneath.

I need to bring down the temperature, she thought reluctantly.

“Tell me, were you always this tenacious, or do I just bring it out in you?” Edward asked flippantly. He relaxed a bit; a direct result of returning the focus back onto Leah; something she couldn’t stand.   

That’s it.

“What do you want with me?” Leah demanded impatiently.

“What were you doing here in the yard today?” Edward parried back. He arched his eyebrows, a tinge of curiosity breaking his mask of calm. “In fact, what were you doing here Wednesday night? In the rain?”

“You saw me.” Leah’s stomach flipped unpleasantly. Of course he did, she was shit at hiding from extrasensory beings.

“I saw you, I smelled you, I..” He didn’t finish.

“You what?”

“I almost invited you inside, and then you ran,” he recovered smoothly. “And then you texted, and I was ecstatic to see I hadn’t scared you off with my idiocy. But it still begs the question, why were you here?”

Leah was speechless. She was hoping to avoid any awkward questions and instead her presence had welcomed them.

Oh no, no, I can’t. Not like this.

“Pack patrols. I no longer shift but was doing Sam a favor.” The lie fell out of her mouth like cement, clunky and leaving a bad aftertaste with her mention of Sam. It made no sense, and she knew it.   

Now it was Edward’s turn to roll his eyes. “Is that so?”

“Are you saying you want me to leave?” Leah asked, refusing to answer.

“Not at all,” Edward replied. “I’m just saying, I can ask questions too.” His half smile returned.

So damn smug.

She sought a middle ground. “How about we both not answer these right now.”

“Fine by me.” Edward leaned back, satisfied with himself. If only Leah didn’t find that so appealing that she almost leaped onto the cushion next to him.

The silence spread between them until Edward spanned her body with his eyes again.

“You look comfortable. Rose’s clothes suit you.”

Leah spread out her arms and looked down. “I look like I’m in a Nancy Meyers movie.”

He laughed. “That tracks for Rose, more or less.”

Leah cocked her head. “And Rose is…,”

“Rosalie. My sister,” Edward finished.

“How?” Leah pushed.

“Are you asking me my family history?” Edward inquired with amusement.

“What if I am?”

“Then I’m happy to oblige,” he replied invitingly. “Do you want to sit? It’s a long story, and knowing you, you’re going to ask questions.” He patted the couch cushion next to him.

“Sure,” Leah replied and promptly sat on the polished hardwood floor, leaning her back against the giant wall of records.

Edward tried to contain his laughter but was barely successful.

“I could make a joke about not biting, but that wouldn’t exactly be true.”

Leah scoffed. But she didn’t have the right to be uncomfortable with his directness, not when she was sending such mixed signals.

“Right, so my family,” Edward proceeded cheerily. “Carlisle turned me when I was nineteen and on my deathbed. Flu epidemic. He did the same for Rose, her husband Emmett, and Esme. I won’t go into details, their stories are theirs to tell. Alice - you’ve met Alice and her husband Jasper – both of them were turned by others, but found us a few decades ago. They’re like family, now. All of us follow the same lifestyle, but all couples have lived on their own for the past two decades or so. There’s a limit to all our tolerance for such close quarters.”

Leah’s insides clenched at the idea of Edward dying. Her first thought was that he must have been terrified.

“That’s…a lot of information.”

“We’ve been around a long time.”

“And how long is that exactly?”

“You’re asking my age? I told you nineteen.” Edward repeated.

“And how long have you been nineteen?” Leah asked defiantly.

Edward pensively stared back at her. Through her, almost.

“Since 1918,” he simply replied.

Well, if you were worried about being the older woman…

“I’m sorry,” Leah mumbled.

She caught Edward off guard. “Whatever for?”

“About…I don’t know…dying. That had to be awful.”

She thought of Edward, feverish and alone in a hospital bed and looked away.

“Thank you,” he murmured back sincerely. His vulnerability dug a hole in her so she busied herself with another thought. Back to the triptych and the resemblance to Carlisle.

“1918? I’m assuming your father has been alive a lot longer than that?” Leah asked slowly.

“Yes, he has,” Edward offered. “What makes you ask?”

Leah pointed towards the hallway. “That painting in the hallway.”

“Oh you noticed that,” Edward confirmed, nodding in approval. “Yes, that’s him. A bit of an inside joke a friend made for him.”

“Friends like…”

“Caravaggio.”

Leah ran her hands over her face.

Holy shit.

“Of course, a Renaissance painter. Why not?”

This elicited some genuine concern on Edward’s part.

“Is this too much? I know I’m playing some of this off, but it’s all the truth. As unreal as it may seem.”

Leah sucked in a breath before responding. “I’m not going to lie and say this is easy to process, but…maybe we can start somewhere a little more digestible.”

Edward nodded in agreement, leaning towards her and awaiting her next question.

“What did Alice mean by sight?”

“Alice also has a gift. She can see into the near future.”

Leah felt chills prickle at her skin. None of this was digestible.

“She can see what’s going to happen?”

“More or less.”

“And it always comes true?” Leah followed up.

Edward steepled his hands and rested his chin upon them. “It’s a little more complicated than that, there are a number of different futures and they depend on the free will and choice of those involved. More often than not, the future she sees is not the entire picture.”

“And when she said, wolves are hard to read-.”

“She meant it. Like I’ve said before, all of you scramble the signal, basically. It’s quite the feat,” he added with begrudging appreciation.

Leah felt some pride at the pack’s own biological shields. She felt her guard lower even further.

“Jasper has a gift too,” Edward mentioned offhandedly.

“Is that so?” Leah asked. “Does this have anything to do with his weirdness after I fell in the water.”

“It does, in fact.” Edward nodded. “He’s pretty good at sensing emotions.”

What now?

“What, like an empath?” Leah joked, her nervousness burrowing its way into her voice.

“Exactly like an empath,” Edward replied seriously. His eyes were grave and his mouth firmly set, all levity gone from his expression. Leah had the distinct impression of being laid bare, every inch of her exposed and examined.

He better not be doing what I think he’s doing.

“You said you wouldn’t,” she warned Edward.

“I’m not doing anything, I promise,” he whispered back.

Leah’s felt her breath grow shallow under his gaze. Another flash of heat along her back.

“But your heart rate and perspiration have increased. Your eyes are dilated. And your scent…,” he murmured in interest.

“What about my scent? Wet dog?” Leah guessed, trying to break the spell of his words. She remembered Embry saying something similar long ago, that they smelled as unappealing to vamps as vamps did to them.

Except that never really applied, did it? Leah was never repelled as much as she was…scared.

“No, that was never the case,” Edward continued, his words awash in new curiosity. “There’s always been a stripe of threat in the pack’s scent, a chemical property identifying you as a natural predator. But this?” He closed his eyes and deeply inhaled. Leah let her hands fall to either side of her, gripping the floor so she could suppress the urge to claw her way onto the couch, onto him. “Underneath it all, you smell so completely…human.”

Leah’s heart thumped. And parts of her she didn’t want to react, did so anyway. She felt a throbbing in her abdomen, which slowly traveled even lower, between her legs. She rubbed her thighs together, half to disguise it and half for some relief.

Edward’s eyes popped open in surprise. “Oh,” he said softly.

“Natural predator, huh?” Leah asked, her voice low. She couldn’t help herself, not after his assessment. “I guess you’d better watch out.”

Edward stayed silent. And dropped to his knees from the couch, palms resting on jean clad thighs.

“Watch out for what exactly?” he questioned quietly.

Leave, leave now if you can’t handle it. He thinks this is something else. You’re going to regret it if you don’t tell him the truth first.

Leah immediately rose from her seat on the ground, breaking eye contact and turning back towards the shelf of records she had been inspecting before.

“Uh, nothing, it was a joke.” She laughed uneasily. “Just a relief about the wet dog thing, who wants to be around that all day.”

Edward responded with a ‘hmmm’ from behind her.

Leah teased the edge of a record cover out, the title spelling out Rumours on the front.

Fleetwood Mac. Classic. Now make an excuse and go if you’re not going to do it.

She spun quickly, and let out her breath in a whoosh after noticing Edward was now standing much closer than he was previously

“Can I borrow this?” she asked in a rush, her words smashing into each other.

“What, the record?” he asked suspiciously.

“Mmmhm.”

“Sure, but…”

“Great, thanks so much. This was fun. I’ve gotta go.” Leah strode towards the door.

“Leah, wait…”

“What?” She turned impatiently, her body yearning to stay but her mind panicking at the consequences. This would have to wait for another day. Until then, she would find another way to keep tabs on him.

Before either of them could speak, Leah felt someone at her side. It was Esme, piping hot mug of tea in hand.

“I thought I’d bring this up to you, since you both seem occupied up here.” She glanced questioningly between the two of them. “Everything okay?”

Leah gave her a weak smile, eager more than ever to get out. “Everything’s great. Thank you for the clothes and the tea, but I really need to get back.”

“Can I at least give you ride?” Edward asked, disbelief coating his words

“No, no I, thanks Edward. I’ll text you. Promise.” It was the least she could say. His look of utter confusion – and a touch of hurt -  tore at her more than she could stand and she turned to go.

Taking the stairs two at a time, the white living room and kitchen a blur, she flung open the front door and sprang off the porch.

And she ran.

By the time Leah reached Sue’s house in La Push, there were clods of dirt covering the impeccable sweat suit. She stood forlorn in the driveway, decoy record in hand. The bond no longer pulled at her, but she felt the loss of Edward nonetheless.

How much are you going to keep jerking the both of you around? If you don’t get it out soon, you can’t predict how it will come out later.

At that moment, Seth rounded the side of the house, easily spotting Leah as she caught her breath while mentally chastising herself.

He took in her appearance and wrinkled his nose.

“What the hell are you wearing?”



 

Notes:

Song lyrics are from Clumsy by Fergie. Two steps forward, one step back for Leah. It's life.

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Notes:

Ever feel so ready to be home after two long weekends of travel (raises hand)? Own nothing from Twilight except my original plots/characters. Here is the next chapter, and it all comes out. Oh man, does it come out…:P Enjoy.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 







I'm hummin' like a revved-up truck

Never mind the odds, I'm gonna try my luck with her

Just tell me when you've had enough

I'm dangerous 'cause I'm a fool for love

- Fool for Love by Lord Huron


 

Leah was convinced it hadn’t been this warm when she went to bed the night before. In fact, she had opened her window to cool her as she slept, a light breeze flowing in and comfortably chilling her under the sheets.

But now? Leah squirmed as she felt ambient heat press onto her like the lid on a pot. Seated at her vanity, sweating under the cover of jeans and a grey ribbed tank top, she thought something must be terribly wrong.

But she couldn’t exactly use a thermometer, for fear her preternatural warmth might break it. Being a wolf meant you sometimes had to forego human standards of measurement. And this, whatever she was feeling, certainly wasn’t human. A cold shower and ice from the kitchen hadn’t even mitigated the effect.

She rubbed an arm slick with perspiration with a cube and slouched in disappointment as it melted upon contact. Little puddles were forming all over the vanity and dripping onto the floor. Leah let out a groan of frustration.

Frustration. The word rang familiar to her and she slowly rose, circling her room, hands on her hips. She arched her back, warmth swelling around her and making her mind soft. She imagined the walls melting around her, deliciously dripping like paint and coating her entire body.

What the hell is wrong with me?

It was almost as if she was a teenager again, that uncontained heat bursting through and around her and…

Oh no.

While Leah wasn’t exactly in danger of phasing in her own bedroom – her control on that front was intact – a different sort of change was happening within her.

And it had all to with that damn vampire she had run away from yesterday. And that she didn’t have a chance in hell in staying away from, no matter how much she was trying to this morning.   

When Leah first phased as a teenager, her monthly periods stopped completely. She had resigned herself to the fact that she may never have one again, and the same had occurred these past few weeks. Her tracker app gave countless notifications for a period that had never arrived, but that didn’t mean Leah was completely free from the hormonal grasps of a cycle, even if it was less frequent.

She was a wolf after all. And she was in heat.

 As a teenager, she had no outlet and very few options, and ran for miles along the beach and forest trails before the sensation abated. Honestly, the fear of anyone uncovering the habitual need she felt was enough to curb her acting on these feelings. She was now old enough to realize that Sam and some of the pack likely knew, but feared for their own safety should they ever bring it up.

But as a grown woman, confident in her own body and sexuality and with an imprint no less, the feeling was beyond intolerable.

And Edward was the undeniable focus.

She wanted to rake her body across his, to press her fingers into his skin and slowly lick her way up his neck, and his torso, and his…

Leah slammed a wall with her fist and a feeble but distinct crack appeared, paint chips fluttering down at the contact.

“Leah?” Sue questioned outside her door. Leah internally swore at her actions and hurriedly composed herself.

“Yeah, mom?” She eyed the crack and walked back from it. She curled herself onto her bed and hugged a pillow to her abdomen.

“What was that noise?”

“I just dropped…my water bottle.”

“Oh, okay.” Leah held her breath and hoped her mother wouldn’t barge into the room.

“I’m headed out to the tribal council cookout on First Beach, do you want to come? Seth is already down there. It’s supposed to be good weather today.”

Sure, Leah wanted to answer. It sounded nice and breezy and light and would be a chance to maybe see some of her students. And she could make an appearance for the council, who would undoubtedly want to discuss any ideas she might have for the school. A fantastic opportunity to enmesh herself even further into the community.

Then she thought of the pack, with Sam standing haughtily in front of them, clocking her every move and wondering if this would be the final straw that would break either of them. If the others found out…

Leah winced in discomfort.  

And with the way she was feeling, her body was most definitely headed in another direction.

“I think I’m going to stay back. I’ve got pretty bad cramps.” The lie rang out clearly and Leah was disturbed how easily it came to her. Lying to her mother was a relic of the past, or so she thought.

She hugged the pillow closer, because an entirely different kind of pressure was building inside her.

“Okay.” Sue took a beat, but then continued, residual worry from last week still evident in her voice. “Are you sure, I can stay back?”

“No!” Leah replied, a little too quickly. “I mean, I just need to relax a bit. On my own.” She emphasized the last part.

 

“Well, alright, I’ll leave you alone.” Sue wasn’t thrilled at Leah’s tone and Leah couldn’t blame her. She was getting a little sick of herself at this point. But then a flame of lust licked inside her stomach as yet another image of Edward crossed her mind, and Leah knew she was no good to anyone right now. “But I’m a phone call away. And join us if you’re feeling better later,” Sue added.

Leah shook her head.

“K, thanks, bye.”

Sue scoffed and Leah waited until she heard the door slam.

She immediately shot up from the bed and glanced at the plank shelf she hung above her headboard once she had moved back home. It was level and home to a multitude of discarded candles Leah had either used to the bottom of the wick or forgotten she had purchased. A fake boxed ivy sat in front of a few, and Leah impatiently moved it to the side, rifling around for one candle in particular. She was successful after a few moments, grasping it and reading the minimalist print on the front of the glass holder.

Here it is.

Leah had never thought much of the scent, which is probably why she had left it unburned after purchasing it from a local home wares store.  

But now western cedar driftwood and sea salt were among the only things she wanted to smell right now. She pried off the wooden lid and inhaled, her knees sinking deeper into her mattress as she lost herself for a moment. It wasn’t the real thing, but it brought forth even more vivid images of Edward and his half smile as he drew the backs of his fingers down her cheeks, and down to her neck, then under the strap of her top.

Just tell him!

Stop, I just want to live in this for a minute. Who knows what will happen when he finds out.

It was true, Leah knew Edward’s reaction could range from understanding to deep disappointment to misdirected rage. While she knew he couldn’t outright blame her, and he probably wouldn’t, she knew it was hoping for too much that he would embrace it.

As much as she couldn’t see him rejecting her, she certainly couldn’t find him welcoming it either.

And this fantasy allowed her the best of both worlds.

She sniffed even more deeply and her hand slid down her stomach without much persuading on her part, moving of its own volition as she unbuttoned her jeans. This was as alone as she would be for a while, and she might as well take full advantage. It might finally offer some relief as well, as Leah knew she was set to explode if she didn’t address her needs quickly.

As if purposely trying to ruin this for her, her phone chirped insistently, and Leah dropped back to her heels. She contemplated not reaching for it, but her curiosity and wishful thinking got the better of her.

And to her reward, it was exactly who she hoped.

E: Hello, how are we this morning?

It seemed Edward couldn’t escape her either, and the idea that all this would change once he learned the truth chafed at her.

But it was just a flicker of doubt in the flames currently consuming Leah’s insides, and she wasted no time.

L: You tell me, you’re the mind reader.

E: You’re much too far for that to work. Now if you came over…

Leah’s finger froze as her imprinted self rejoiced and urged her to bank it to the car and set a new record for how fast she could reach Forks. The bond stretched pleasurably, doing things to her that she couldn’t articulate with actual words.

L: You really want Rose’s clothes back that badly?

E: You’re too funny.

Leah didn’t reply back. Partly because she had yet to launder Rose’s mud-covered sweats. But mostly because she wanted him to say it, to make it clear that he wanted her back in his space. That she was affecting him even a fraction of the amount that he was consuming her mind and body.

C’mon, say it.

E: I felt like we were just beginning yesterday and then you ran off. Again. I would deeply appreciate being able to finish our conversation, if you’re so inclined.

Leah was feeling much too bold for someone with such a massive secret that could destroy them both. And she didn’t care.

Why settle for a candle when you can have the real thing.  

L: Your family?

His next text arrived barely a few seconds after she sent hers.

E: They’re right outside Seattle for the next few days. Carlisle is speaking at a conference tonight.

Leah balanced her increasingly heated thoughts against the anxiety that he was entirely alone. Both for his sake and hers.

L: And talking is all you want to do? I can think of a few other things we might want to consider…

A much longer pause ensued and Leah worried she had overstepped, that she had read the situation completely wrong as she projected her own incredibly complicated feelings onto him.

E: I’m very good at multi-tasking.

So much for Edward feeling out of place and out of time. He seemed to know exactly what to say to her.

Leah didn’t have to be told twice. She knew she had gotten to him, even if in the smallest of ways, and that he obviously was not strong enough to keep away from her either.

They were on a primal collision course of heat and lust and Leah wanted him so badly that she knew this was all probably a bad idea. They would give in too easily and then what would she be left with?

He didn’t feel those other things for her, the overwhelming desire to be near him at all times. He would use her and discard her, and Leah was going to get her heart broken, only worse.

But somehow, moving out of her oppressive furnace of her bedroom and slipping on a pair of sneakers as she grabbed her keys, she accepted this was a part of her journey. Heartbreak or not, she had already taken Edward in: mind, body, and soul.  

And for her efforts, she would get this piece of him, however small. However insignificant compared to the inferno raging inside her, it was still close to him. With his full agreement. He had asked her, after all.






The engine of Leah’s car hummed in effort as she hit the gas one final time, driving over the lip of the Cullen’s winding driveway and up the small hill to the house. It loomed even more grandly from the front and Leah found herself admiring it before the main door flew open. She parked and enjoyed the leaning form of Edward in the frame, his face devoid of any reaction.

He was playing it much too cool. And Leah felt a surge of excitement and confidence as she took her time stepping out of the car. She flipped her hair over one shoulder as she removed her sunglasses, knowing it was ridiculous and unnecessary, but noting that Edward hadn’t moved his eyes from her once.  

As she made her way closer, Edward nodded, taking his time as he did another once over of Leah. Unlike yesterday, Leah didn’t find herself crumbling into a self-conscious heap and stopped in front of him, allowing a full view.

And she did the same to him. A few rays of watery sunlight lit Edward’s skin and she noticed it faintly shimmered; nothing extravagant but highly noticeable. She felt a squeeze of affection for this small detail, something he undoubtedly had to contend with every time the sun was out.

Edward noticed her noticing.

He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to expose his forearm, the glinting of light against his skin even more apparent.

“Yeah, this can be distracting,” he chuckled. “I really have to be careful when I’m outside. But I heard you come up the drive and…”

Leah started at him, her eyes boring into his and Edward dropped his arm.

“Well, I’ll just have to come inside, then,” she conceded in a silky voice. It sounded almost alien to her, but when Leah turned it on, it was on.  

If Edward was flustered by her behavior, he didn’t show any sign. He simply stepped back and allowed her through as she brushed past him, breathing in his scent and touching her shoulder to his shirt.  

Leah definitely knew how to do this. Men of any species weren’t too complicated and when she was out of her own head, she could twist this to her advantage.

And right now, she really enjoyed doing just that.

She heard the front door close behind her as she breezily walked towards the staircase.

Her foot on the first stair, she flipped her hair again and let her eyelids drop slightly, hooding her eyes seductively. She looked at Edward backwards over her shoulder.

“Coming up?” she asked innocently.

She didn’t wait for an answer as she turned and stepped up, swinging her hips and ass like a pendulum with each exaggerated motion.

Edward didn’t follow her and said nothing in return, but she could feel his eyes sinking into her, taking in the view of her backside, and hopefully enjoying her little performance. The suffocating heat that had previously tormented her transformed into a slow, simmering boil and Leah felt undeniable wetness between her legs.  

For every Hollywood rom-com and romance novel Leah had scorned for being unrealistic and unsophisticated and unbelievably cheesy, she was sure doing a good impression of a character in one. A bad one.

She didn’t care.

Leah reached the top and was about to turn again and say something she could spin as sexy. However, the wave of breeze that resulted from Edward rushing up the stairs at full vampire speed knocked into her and ruffled her hair.

The mask of calm had disappeared gone and in its place was a smoldering gaze that gave oxygen to the unbridled lust within her. His fingers grasped lightly at her waist and Leah exhaled in surprise.

Apparently, Edward could turn it on, too.

“Why don’t we speak in my room, hmm?” he asked, his voice a rough edge that cut through her. Gone was the lightness and patience, and in its place was something unpredictable and desperate. Maybe even slightly dangerous.

Leah wanted to hear it again. And again. And again.

Edward spun her and walked her to the end of the hall, with his hands still on her waist. Leah leaned back into him, and the denim of her jeans rasped against the leg of his. He was so solid against her, and Leah found herself wanting his arms to fully wrap her into him. And for her to do the same. Finally, they could meld together, and allow the fear and guilt and pain of the outside world to dissolve into nothingness.

Leah was dizzy with the possibilities, even as she took control of the situation.

She broke free from his grip once inside his room and turned to face him.

“Someone’s eager…to talk,” she half joked. But there was nothing funny about the look on his face or the way his eyes burned like dark coals deep into hers.

Her neck felt sweaty and loose tendrils of hair stuck to the skin. As she rubbed her hand against it to loosen them, she took a deliberate backwards step to his bed.

Edward raised his eyebrows.

She continued until she hit the edge. Toeing off her sneakers, she sat on the mattress, leaning back on her hands behind her and slightly arching her back.

Edward observed all of this and crossed his arms.

“You do know I have a couch in here, yes?” If he meant to tease her, he had failed, and his low, guttural whisper made Leah want to climb up his body.

She clenched her fingers around a handful of his comforter.

“But I thought beds were for more than sleeping. You said so yourself,” she mentioned coolly and then gave him the most knowing, wicked smile she could manage. Her blood was boiling in anticipation, and she was doing everything short of throwing her clothes at him.

Edward’s mouth slowly spread into a wide grin in response, and he shook his head.

“You’re very good at this,” he said, genuinely impressed. He moved closer to her, his hand circling the nearest bedpost as his knees lightly knocked into hers.

Leah slid further back onto the bed in invitation, the sheets cool under her hands.

“At what?”

Edward narrowed his eyes at her and bit his lower lip, either in concentration or restraint. Maybe both. Leah heard a loud snap and was startled to see a chunk of the bedpost break off into Edward’s hand. He nonchalantly allowed it to drop to the floor and absently wiped the crumbled bits in his hand onto his jeans.

“But you should know,” he continued, his eyes averted at first as he confided in her. He climbed slowly onto the edge of the bed, a predatory lean to his arms and legs as they shifted towards her. One knee and then another hit his comforter, and there was a smug, triumphant gleam to his eyes as he looked at her again. “I’m also very good at this.’

Before she knew what was happening, Leah found herself back on her knees, the entirety of her body pressed against Edward’s as he wrapped his arms fully around her. Her breasts were pushed up appealingly against his chest and she noticed him looking down between them. One of his hands was dangerously close to her ass, and without thinking, she grasped his wrist and slid his hand fully around it. He grabbed her there and pushed her further into him. Leah thought she might pass out from the contact and leaned her head against his shoulder. She rubbed her hand up the front of his shirt, up the row of buttons, toying with the top one as she turned her head to look.

“Leah,” Edward said in strained whisper against her hair as she unbuttoned one, and then another, and slid a finger up and down the exposed skin of his chest.

It was astounding how familiar and comforting he felt, despite Leah’s own previously held assumptions. His scent and the feel of him against her eclipsed any inhibitions she may have felt. He was home and Leah felt her heart ache beneath the all-encompassing desire.

“Mmm,” she replied and lifted her head slightly. Without warning, she nuzzled the crook above his shoulder, lightly kissing him on his collar bone and then moving more insistently. She grew bold and pulled on his shoulders as she drew out her tongue, licking his collarbone and leaving a trail of sloppy, open-mouthed kisses up the column of his neck. Edward’s hands pressed even harder into her as he gave a low groan and Leah enjoyed the pressure, which bordered on painful. He wasn’t hiding himself or his strength from her, and Leah’s heart leapt at his trust, at the vulnerability in showing her his true self.

She reached Edward’s ear, and bit at the outer shell, the skin giving a little under her teeth as Edward hissed.

He moved rapidly again, and Leah found herself on her back, her tank top riding up her torso and exposing her stomach. Edward’s hands were planted on either side of her head, and he hovered above her with his eyes wildly roving over her face. She had a feeling his expression exactly mirrored hers in this moment.  

“What do you want?” he asked her desperately. “Whatever you want, I’ll do it…my god, I’ll do it.”

His resolve threatened to drive her even more insane, if it was possible.

She closed her eyes at his plea. The tenor of her emotions shifted from the powerful but playful lust that had plagued her at home, to a deep well of intense adoration: A feeling that only scratched the surface of what she knew lay beneath it all.

She let out a shuddering breath as one of his hands rubbed up the outside of her thigh and up to her bare stomach, resting itself there. His cool hand felt pleasant against her torched skin. His thumb swiped over her belly button and Leah would have giggled at the tickling sensation if she hadn’t been on the verge of losing her mind.

“Hey.” She felt him lean even closer to her face and gently tuck a strand of her hair, curling from the heat, behind her ear. “Talk to me. Do you still want this?”

His question stirred something in Leah and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the proximity of his beautiful, inquiring face.

Do I want this?

There was no use in hiding. Not with them both finally at this line in the sand, this point of no return. Leah felt the truth travel up her throat and escape her mouth like a menacing snake.

“Edward,” she breathed. He nodded enthusiastically, encouraging her. “I want this more than you can ever know. I want your lips on mine and on every inch of my body. I want your tongue on me and inside me and for your fingers to follow and do exactly the same thing. I want to scream your name as I come and for you to do the same with mine when I finally get my hands on you. But mostly…dammit, mostly, I want you. Not just this, I want all of you. Everything.”

She wasn’t sure what she expected Edward to do with this information, and he seemed to feel the same from the way he froze above her. Vampires could keep remarkably still if needed and Leah was witnessing this firsthand.

“Edward?” she warily repeated. She waved a hand in front of his face. The same one he had stitched what seemed like centuries ago.

“Yeah, sorry, uh, sorry. I just need a second.” He came back to life, but the intensity of his previous stare had waned. She saw the beginnings of his mask of calm reappear, though he seemed more dumbstruck than anything. Leah’s heart stopped beating and sank like an anchor out of her chest.

Her despair crashed through the haze of her lingering desire and tore apart the fantasy.

No. No, no, no, no. He didn’t want this. He wanted none of this. You pushed this onto him. You’re supposed do what’s best for him. You selfish bitch.  

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m so fucking sorry,” Leah stammered in horror. She pulled down her top and pushed against Edward’s chest. He complied and she swung herself off his mattress and quickly shoved her shoes onto her feet.

And she fled, ignoring Edward as he called after her.

My keys. Where the fuck are my keys?

She belatedly remembered them and her sunglasses falling out of her hands onto the bed upstairs, and she cringed in humiliation and despair.

She was a fool thinking she could separate her feelings from her actions, especially these massive, unprecedented feelings. She definitely couldn’t go back.

 So she would run home.

She swiftly raced by the side of the house to the flowing tributary in the backyard and prepared to leap over to the bank on the opposite side.  

But she faltered, her body registering Edward coming nearer even as her mind screamed that she could never show her face to him again.

“Leah, wait!” Edward easily caught up to her, his hair whipped up in a frenzy and his partially unbuttoned shirt loose on his frame. “Please wait. Don’t go.”

The threat of tears pricked at Leah’s eyes as she turned away from him, to the ancient oak she had hid behind the day before.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t mean to put that on you.

Shame and regret crept through her and she slammed a fist into the trunk of the tree, chipping away at some loose bark.

“Leah, it’s okay. Come on, look at me.”

“I couldn’t control myself. It’s these stupid hormones. I fucked up,” she rattled on.

Edward scoffed. “If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t exactly in control either. Just please.” She heard footsteps moving closer. “Please, turn around so we can talk.”

“I fucking can’t,” she yelled back, her voice echoing off the trees. He couldn’t know how much this hurt, the grating pain of his rejection overwhelming her senses. And the guilt that he would never be rid of her was almost crippling.

“Yes, you can,” he replied calmly. “We can talk about all of this. We have to.”

Something in his tone and words caused Leah to whip back to him, doubt and suspicion crawling under her skin and she eyed him skeptically.

“Have to talk about what? You have no idea what you’re dealing with here.” But part of her recognized his calm demeanor as a telling sign that he may know exactly what she was talking about.

“Leah,” Edward said, his hands out in front of her, beseeching. “Just say it.”

Leah’s mind slowed like molasses and the natural world around her shifted into a bright cacophony of sound and color. It was as if she could hear everything from her blood flowing through her veins to the leaves rustling in the trees, and Edward came into sharp relief against the backdrop of green. Even if she tried, she would never be able to curb the tide of her unending devotion. He would always come into focus for her. Always.

Like you said, no more hiding.

“I imprinted on you,” Leah explained numbly. “I imprinted on you that day in the hospital. And I can never undo it. I can’t. I can’t…”

“Yeah,” Edward replied, softly interrupting her and it stuck like a piece of glass in her throat.

He knew. He knew.

“You, you knew?” she blurted out, less surprised but confronting him, nonetheless.

Edward ran his hands through his hair and laughed in disbelief. “You truly think I’m that unobservant? I may not read minds anymore, but I still have pretty good instincts,” he lobbed back, a little offended. “I had an impression that something like it had happened a few times this past week, but of course I didn’t know for certain…until after…well, this.”

Leah’s face crumbled and the air went out of her. “After I threw myself at you. And it was too much.”

“It wasn’t too much,” he replied in exasperation. “It wasn’t,” he emphasized after seeing Leah’s pained, doubtful expression. “You’re just…you were just so sincere, and it knocked me to the side for a moment. I wasn’t expecting it, I’ve never expected anyone to ever say something like that to me.” He threw his hands up in the air. “And the way you said it, my god, the way you said it.” His voice lowered. “Your scent, your voice, your lips on me. You have no idea. None.” He rubbed his mouth with his fingers in frustration.

Leah knew she had to clear up his misconceptions, that he would live to regret everything that came to pass.

“No, you have no idea,” Leah whispered back harshly. “It is so much more than that for me, Edward. This isn’t some wayward attraction. It’s not me getting off on some kind of forbidden affair. This is for life. And I cannot control it.”  But something firmed up inside her, and she strengthened her resolve that he would not have her same fate. This was the time for it. “I didn’t get a choice. But you deserve one.” Edward stared at her warily. “You do. And I will honor it the best I can. Just say the word, and I’m gone.”

The bond pulled painfully at her for the first time in days and she sorrowfully accepted its return. This would be her life now; a ghost of a person listlessly following the one man who would never want her.

A broken imprint. Just like you wanted, remember?

But not like this. Not when she would be forced to remember his kind words, his caring and considerate nature, his amused smile at her jabs…the way he felt when he moved against her.

Please, just say it and put me out of my misery.

“You told me not to stay away. Now, why would I ever want you to go?” Edward questioned quietly. Leah cried out in frustration, the implications of her imprint and its irredeemable consequences rushing to the surface.

“Why would you ever want this for yourself?” she half sobbed. Her eyes welled with tears, and they ran steadily down her face.  She turned again to hide them and punched the tree trunk again, making a considerable dent. “You will never get rid of me, not completely. If you choose to go your separate way, I will be forced to follow. I cannot stop. I will be on the fringes of everything you do, everywhere you go. And if you choose another, it will kill me. But it will never stop me. Until the end of your days, I will be there for you, in any way you need me. Even if you don’t want me, Edward.” Another strike to the tree dislodged a dead branch, and it fell into Leah’s startled hands.

“Until the end of time,” Edward seemingly confirmed, his voice a whisper.

It sent a shiver of absolute finality up Leah’s spine. She was fully crying now, her shoulders hunched as she attempted to quiet her sobs. She hit the branch against the tree, and then crushed it with her bare hands, pulverizing it into large splinters. She dropped them to the ground, panting from the effort.

She steadied herself by planting her hands on the trunk and leaned her head against the tree she had attacked just second before.

“How can you even look at me right now, after knowing this? How can you not hate me?” She found it quite easy, the shame and self-loathing pumping through her like blood.

“Are you actually blaming yourself right now?” Edward asked in disbelief.

She heard rustling as he made purposeful steps towards the tree, moving loudly for her benefit.

“I would blame you, but it’s impossible at this point. I can’t blame you for being someone I want. That I could lo-.” Leah caught herself. She feared finishing that thought.

“Leah,” he coaxed gently, “you are the last person on this earth I could possibly hate.

Leah let out a breath, not wanting to accept what he was saying but allowing the tension to flow out from her body. At least he didn’t seem to despise her, for now.

“Even being a wolf, with this bloody imprint, knowing that form will always be a part of me?” She was still convinced he had hated them, the pack, and associating with them.

He reached her, carefully placing a hand on each shoulder. “Especially knowing you’re a wolf. We aren’t too different, you and I.”

Leah laughed derisively through her tears and allowed herself to be pulled back into his chest.

“Well, that’s a lie.”

“It really isn’t. Now why don’t we give Esme’s favorite tree a break and relax.”

Leah hiccupped. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” he whispered soothingly, rubbing her shoulders.

“You still have no idea,” she whispered defiantly, eager to get the last word. And hoping she was wrong.

But Edward paused. It seemed to Leah that he was preparing himself for a major revelation, for him and her both. And as if he had actually read her mind, he confessed his own demons while Leah listened, enraptured.

“It took me a very long time to accept who I was. What I was. Up until quite recently, in fact. Carlisle - there were times I resented what he did, even hated. I would have died if it wasn’t for my human mother pleading with him to do something, anything, for me. So he did. And after everything that happened on that mountaintop years ago, with all of you waiting below, I wished I had never been turned. Putting all of you, the pack and the reservation and this town, in danger. I was sick with fear.” Leah knew the feeling and she held her hand out to intertwine with his. “You don’t know the full story. And I should – I will – tell you everything. But in the years following, hearing about your lives from Esme, and how everyone seemed to move forward, I felt relief. I felt pride knowing everyone was safe and flourishing, and wasn’t completely traumatized by the danger I had put everyone in. That I had put you in. And I allowed myself to feel, truly feel something other than despair for the first time.” Leah turned in his arms, her eyes red and swollen but her curiosity getting the better of her. “I realized the most important thing. What my mother and Carlisle did, was out of love. I was borne of love, both as a human and vampire. What I’m surrounded by every day, with this family, I choose to put my faith in it. I found that since I no longer hated myself, it was quite impossible to hate anyone else. And I found happiness, shutting out the thoughts of others, learning to welcome uncertainty. I knew I could move forward, secure in the knowledge that the best parts of my life might come about in the most unexpected of ways. And Leah.” He tipped her chin up, his expression tender and promising. “You are proof of that, in every way possible.”

Leah peered back at him in minor distress, unsure of what he was saying.

“I don’t understand. Are you saying you came back…because of me?” Her shock was apparent, and Edward smiled softly in response.

“Yes, something like that.” Edward took an unnecessary deep breath. Human habits. “I was speaking to Esme over the phone one day a few months ago, after a particularly long double shift. I manipulated the match system so I could start my residency out in the middle of Oklahoma, somewhere no one would recognize me, and I could work in relative anonymity.”

Leah nodded in understanding, as she made a mental note to ask him what else he usually got away with.

“I was only half listening to Esme as she went on, in that way only mothers can do. But I missed her and I missed Carlisle. So I let her.” He paused. “But then she mentioned you. Something about seeing you in town recently, at the post office, and you waved to each other. She explained how you moved back to La Push and were teaching at the high school there. How much you had grown, what a ‘beautiful and confident’ young woman you had become,” he mimicked, performing an uncanny imitation of Esme’s bell like tone. Leah rolled her eyes and pushed at his shoulder as he briefly laughed. “And Leah, know this, I never forgot you. Your wiseass comments, your strength, your heartbreak…your fear. The pain on your face when you looked at Seth after your father died. I saw all of it and my heart bled for you. For the injustice of it all. And I am so, so sorry about everything you went through.”

This broke Leah all over. She began to cry in earnest again, unable to stem the flow of her tears at the memory of her father and her inability to protect Seth from things he never should have had to face as a boy. She had felt so alone and unseen. Edward lifted his hand and wiped at her tears, gently tracing his thumb over her cheekbone.

“The second she mentioned you, it was like my chest caved in. I haven’t needed a breath of air in over one hundred years, and suddenly I couldn’t catch mine. The urge to see you was indescribable. I told myself it was to merely check on you, ensure you were truly alright. I asked Carlisle to arrange for me to work at Forks General, and he was all too happy to have me return. I consigned myself to the fact that I would somehow need to ask about you, learn about you through secondhand accounts of others since I stopped making it a habit of jumping from one mind to another. That I would somehow need to manipulate a meeting, just to see you. I hoped to run into Seth - he was always so good natured - and then perhaps he might speak about you. But when you stepped into the hospital, on your own, without any effort on my part, I took my chance. I immediately intercepted your file from Nurse Robins, who wasn’t exactly happy about it. But I didn’t care. You were the one who drew me back home, and I was going to do everything in my power to see you again.”

“You seemed so steady and sure of yourself,” Leah whispered back. “I had no idea.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Leah’s thoughts returned to his mask of calm. “I will admit, I nearly jumped out my skin -.”

“When I attack hugged you,” Leah finished.

“Yes, that,” Edward admitted in amusement.

“It was either that or jump you…like today.” Leah winced at the memory.

“You’re acting as if I wasn’t a full and willing participant in said jumping,” Edward mocked.  

But Leah turned serious, realizing Edward knew so much more than he let on, and did nothing with this knowledge.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why not just tell me? Or ask me? I have been going through hell and you said nothing,” she accused him, jabbing a finger into his chest. But even then, her anger evaporated into a pleading tone.

“I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I would never have forced out something like that from you. You needed your own time. And space. And I never wanted you to feel obligated if I told you the truth behind my return. I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling. And I…I didn’t even know for certain that you felt the same.”

Leah shook her head. They truly were more alike than she had realized.

“And now?” she questioned. His eyes, now the color of dark honey, stared into hers; things said and unsaid between them conveyed in their depths.

He answered, quietly admonishing her. “What I realize now is that you have been torturing yourself when you could have told me anything. You should know, whenever it is in my power, I will never hurt you. The imprint…the feelings you have…I would never have disrespected them. Whether or not they were under your control.” Leah swallowed a lump that had risen in her throat. “We have spoken enough about me and what I did. What I need.” He bent down further to level his face with hers, his arms still around her. “What do you want? I have lived a long life Leah, and I know the price of broken dreams. If you want me, you have me. But what else?”

Leah closed her eyes as their bond roped them even closer together, the final tie solidified with his acceptance. It was beyond what she thought was even possible. She felt it in her bones, that Edward did not reject her, would not reject her. That he had, in fact, embraced her. He had no idea what his words had done in that moment. What they meant to her.

“I’m scared,” she admitted. It was what she wanted, but her heart raced in fear. At losing him. At losing herself.

“Hey,” he murmured, putting his hand over her chest, as if to calm the pace of her traitorous heart. “Forget the scary feelings, forget the things you can’t put into words. Look inside. What is the first thing you feel?”

Leah turned inward at his suggestion, diving into the layers of her imprinted self. There was the lust and adoration and the respect she had for him as a person. Then a more primal, fierce protectiveness; a loyalty and vow to preserve his wants and needs along with hers. Below them was the inky dark abyss that dwelled within her like an ancient ocean. The fathomless depths carried the strongest currents of her emotions, the things she could not yet name but felt all the same. She avoided the well, swimming upward until she met the thin surface. At the top, the beginning of everything, was something that pervaded every fiber of her being. The thing he had proven to her, several times over.

Trust.

She could trust Edward.

She recognized it. And honored it. And submitted to it.

Because of this, Leah felt confident in speaking what was truly in her heart. She opened her eyes and placed her hand on his chest, pushing him away slightly so she could say what she needed without distraction. He straightened up.

“I trust you,” she simply said.

“Thank you,” Edward whispered.

“And it’s true, I need you. If you’ll have me, Edward, I will give myself to you in every way in time. Mind, body, and soul,” she stated gravely. Edward comfortingly brushed back her hair, skimming his hand across her cheek and resting it on the side of her neck. “You are the center of my world.”

Edward nodded, accepting this responsibility with so much grace it made Leah ache in gratitude. However, she wasn’t done.  

“But you cannot be my entire world,” Leah forced out. She felt ungrateful, as if the words were somehow a betrayal, unworthy of this moment.

But Leah knew she could not fully give herself without being herself. It was what she had struggled to convey to Sam that first night. She was a whole, fully formed person, with a life that came before Edward. And he needed to understand this. She couldn’t be happy; she couldn’t devote herself to him if she lost everything that made her who she was.

“My work, my family, my community, all of those things have been my world. I love them. There has to be room for those things to breathe, to grow in my life.” She gazed uneasily back at Edward and gauged his reaction for confusion, or wariness, or even anger. He was a hundred year old vampire who had asked for none of this, and she was already making demands.

But it was just the calm reserve she had grown accustomed to.

“Tell me everything. I’ll listen,” he stated, unwavering in his honesty.

The wave of lust and adoration that lay dormant, but had never actually left Leah’s body, soared upward.

“Whoa, okay.” Leah gripped Edward’s arms and removed them from her waist. “Sure thing. But I think I’m going to need a little space before we have another repeat of what happened inside. I’m technically…in heat,” she admitted in embarrassment, her cheeks turning red. She rubbed a hand across her forehead, shielding her eyes.

“Oh, right.” Edward gave her a knowing smile, before prying her hand off and placing his lips on her forehead. It was a prolonged kiss and Leah lightly shivered in delight. When he let her go, she moved back unsteadily, carefully seating herself at the base of the oak tree. Her skin burned pleasurably where he had touched her.

Edward seated himself several feet away, just enough that they could have an actual conversation without the threat of either of them caving to their instincts.

“Proceed.” He motioned with his hand that she should speak and Leah smiled ruefully.

“Thank you.”

Edward raised his eyebrows. “Don’t thank me just yet. You should know I have a few things we should discuss.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Of course, you do. I have a feeling you have a caveat for everything.”

Edward tutted impatiently. “You should really say your things before I start listing off mine.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” she protested, ripping up some of the longer grass covering the thick tree roots, and throwing it in his direction. It wafted away on the wind halfway to its target.

Edward watched her failed effort with ease, smiling when Leah leaned back in exasperation.

“Why don’t we start with what you mentioned. With trust,” he offered graciously, no underlying amusement or frustration present. Just the gift of him listening to what she had to say.

“Trust,” Leah murmured, genuine emotion catching in her throat. “Yeah, I can start there.”

So she did, with the symphony of flowing water beside her and the vision of Edward in the sun, refracting its light, in front of her.

She felt her spirit rise.


 

Notes:

Not gonna lie, teared up a few times writing this. Trust. It really is the most important thing. Reviews/comments/feedback are greatly appreciated.

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Notes:

A/N: Own nothing of Twilight except my original plots/characters. Next up, more reveals and a foiled date night. As for technical vampire/shape shifter questions, I’m not going to get too caught up in the details. Let’s just say Leah’s strong and immune enough to avoid any harmful vampire venom effects and they’re both durable enough to withstand any more strenuous activities. Edward’s teeth are not going to break her skin easily because she’s also pretty protected on that front. Like any human to human contact, where two people are on the same wavelength physically. Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


 


I'll try my best, how much do I invest?
Like cardiac arrest, high voltage in her lips
I'll try my best, how much do I invest?
Like cardiac arrest, high voltage when we kiss


- Cardiac Arrest by Bad Suns



 

The air shimmered like summer heat between them today, their conversation light and airy. This was just the latest installment in a week of in-depth conversations between Edward and Leah after their respective confessions. Their perch by the banks of the creek behind the Cullen house had been designated an unofficial meeting spot, away from the prying eyes of both the pack and the town. And if Edward’s family had any inkling of their current situation, they seemed intent on giving Edward and Leah an abundance of space. Even as Leah bemusedly noted the expertly packed picnic basket nestled in the grass this time around. While Edward was attuned to her human needs and insisted on cooking for Leah, she adamantly refused every time. She always came prepared with a granola bar or an apple and ate meals when she arrived back at Sue’s house, to hold off any suspicious questions. She also found it preposterous and a waste to ask vampires to buy human groceries that would spoil from lack of use. The picnic basket was a definite overreach and held more food than Leah could possibly attempt to eat. Leah had struggled not to laugh when she saw it and rolled her eyes when Edward explained she couldn’t possibly refuse the beautiful spread Esme and Carlisle had gone through the trouble of preparing.

She had shrugged. “Sure Edward, with that guilt trip, how could I refuse?”

“You have to eat anyway. Sue would understand,” he responded with exaggerated innocence, his eyes wide. Leah avoided telling him that Sue likely thought she was teaching extra classes in Forks as opposed to meeting with her vampire imprint every day after school.

The sunlit hours stretched longer now that they were almost entering April and Leah found herself surprisingly carefree and unburdened this late afternoon, given the month’s events. While she and Edward had made a tentative agreement to keep topics restricted to the lighter, “getting to know you” variety, an oppressive cover of semi-awkwardness and unresolved tension pervaded every conversation between them to that point. How could they move forward into casual discussion after deciding they had the rest of their lives with each other to figure it out? It didn’t help they had instituted a no touching policy ala most maximum security prisons to avoid complicating their big feelings with, well, big actions. They had covered everything from Leah’s education and her life in Seattle and La Push to Edward’s eating habits and which sibling he was closest to, with even more insight into how his powers worked. But every meeting was punctuated with a lingering hug, the promise of further texting, and each of them completely unfulfilled by their limited contact.

But not today.

   It could have been that it was Friday and she had finished her lesson plans for the remainder of the year in La Push, ending with the last class in mid-April before a mandatory study period. Or that she had had an especially productive teaching session in Forks that week, with the students improving exponentially. Or that Sue and Seth were blissfully unaware of anything that was happening and that Sam seemed to be backing off for now.  

Or it could be the man who made her heart stutter was seated against a tree trunk in front of her and watched as she self-consciously scarfed down expensive finger food. And that his parents seemed on board with….whatever it was they were doing. They had finally reached the topic of discussion that Leah was most nervous about: their dating history.

“So…Tanya, huh?” Leah asked with feigned disinterest, even as the name left a sour pucker on her tongue and a thankfully brief flash of extreme jealousy. She looked down as she spread a sweet pepper compote on what was likely a ridiculously overpriced cracker studded with pieces of olive and rosemary. But she couldn’t deny how delicious it was when she bit down on it. She let a surprised moan and then abruptly stopped in embarrassment.

Edward raised an eyebrow. “So the food’s good?”

Leah answered mid chew, careful not to spew crumbs. “Maybe.”

“Good enough that you promise not to get upset over Tanya?”

“I’m not upset!” Leah retorted, a little annoyed her feelings were that transparent. She looked away as she chewed. “I’m just interested. I told you everything you didn’t already know about Sam and every person since.”

Something flashed in Edward’s eyes as she met his gaze again. “Yes, thank you for your vivid descriptions. I won’t be forgetting their names anytime soon.”

Leah scoffed. “You could not possibly feel threatened by Brett from my computer lab. The dude had a man bun and unhealthy obsession with kombucha. And you’re…” Leah waved a hand in his general area. “You’re you.”

Edward bowed his head in agreement. “Yes, we both have pasts and I want to hear everything, regardless.” A mischievous grin formed on his lips. ‘Even your experimental phase with your grad school friend who TA’ed with you. Sheila, was it?”

Leah cheeks flooded with heat as she stared daggers at him. “Do not make me regret telling you that.”

“Never,” Edward shook his head even as his cheeky smile widened. “It’s a life lived. I’m glad you had people you trusted enough for…all that.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “None of them were ever serious. Even with Sam, it was just…I was young. Everything is amplified as a torrid heartbreak at that age, especially first lo…” Leah hesitated. She was straying from their unspoken rule.

“First love,” Edward finished gently. He cocked his head knowingly. “You really don’t need to diminish it for my sake.”

“I’m not! Really, it was…me holding onto something, anything that gave me security. And I was angry when it was torn away, without me even having a say. That’s all,” she finished a little uncomfortably. This kind of self-reflection always left her feeling somewhat silly and exposed when she spoke about it. But for whatever reason today, Edward’s non-judgmental gaze smoothed the edge of her self-consciousness.

She shook off her answer. “You know, we seem to be getting farther from the Tanya of it all,” she accused him. “What are you hiding, Mr. Cullen?” While she had only meant to tease him, her burning curiosity lent some urgency to her question.

Edward held up his hands defensively. “I have nothing to hide, honestly. Tanya is the only one I’ve been with as a vampire. She and another mated pair, Carmen and Eleazar, live in Denali in Alaska. Carlisle has known them for centuries.” The word ‘centuries’ prickled a little at Leah’s skin but she ignored the sensation. “They follow our lifestyle and are close friends. That’s all.” Leah eyed him skeptically and Edward continued, if only to appease her. “When I was turned, it was just me and Carlisle. Eventually I became the solitary vampire in a family of mated pairs. Tanya was single as well, and she had lost both her sisters a century before. Her loneliness was palpable. As I’m sure was mine,” he finished as an afterthought.

“So you pursued a relationship? And it continued until…?” Leah probed further.

“Until Tanya found her mate, Garrett, about three decades ago,” Edward replied, soft reassurance in his voice. “And it was never a relationship. Just a mutually beneficial arrangement that was sporadic at best over the years.”

“What does she look like?” Leah fidgeted and looked down at her hands. She was being ridiculous.

Edward shrugged. “Like herself, I suppose she’s beautiful. She is, definitely. And she has reddish blond hair.” His amused grin indicated he was enjoying her jealousy and Leah almost burned in embarrassment. But she couldn’t help herself.

“And you never wanted it to go further? You were never in…love?” Leah knew she was treading onto dangerous territory, but her need to know eclipsed any anxiety over future discussions about what was between her and Edward.

Edward’s stare after her question was unfathomable, and Leah felt her temperature rise and the wrap of her imprint embrace her further. Her fingers itched and she inwardly cursed their stupid no touch policy and the distance between them.

“No,” he finally replied. “I certainly was not. I cared for her well-being. We were friends. We still are. And I will admit she certainly wished for it to be more than it was at one point, somewhere in the mid-70s. But we both couldn’t force and create feelings when they didn’t exist. And I certainly can’t deny them when they do.”

Leah attempted to look anywhere but at Edward.

Edward moved on, perhaps for both their sakes, and breezily supplied the rest of his history with the enigmatic Tanya. “Regardless, Garrett would likely rip my head from my shoulders if I even looked at Tanya the wrong way. He’s easygoing, but the mating bond in vampires is eternal and extremely potent. It makes it far too easy to move on when that happens, and no one was happier for the both of them than me.”

“So the mating…it’s like imprinting?” Leah asked tentatively. The jealousy at Tanya had faded with Edward’s explanation, and now she was mostly fascinated. Her mind was making connections that she hoped were more real than imagined and all she wanted was more information.

Edward gave his signature half smile, a little too knowing as he answered her.

“Something like that,” he offered. “It’s certainly binding, the emotions behind the bond are irrevocable, but the affect on both parties is pretty immediate. But like imprinting, it can take a little time to parse out exactly what’s happening.”

“And how do you know mating details so intimately? You can’t just get that from looking at your family.” Leah pushed, doubt crowding her mind. Maybe he was hiding a previous mate from her, a painful past he didn’t want to divulge. Or the possibility he could feel this bond in the future. How would Leah ever compete with a mating bond, even with her imprint? Even with Edward graciously accepting her presence in his life, when he likely didn’t feel as strongly? These moments of doubt, that Edward was just accommodating her or that she was just some mildly intriguing novelty to him, haunted her like waking nightmares when they were apart.

Edward raised an eyebrow again, unbelievably attractive and self-assured as he assessed her.

Unless he means…me. I’m his mate.

“Oh, I’m quite positive my own personal experience is informative enough.”

Leah swallowed against the lump in her throat, an ecstatic pressure building in her chest and she suppressed a grin by biting her lower lip.

“I mean, I don’t see any female vampires in town other than your mother. And I know she’s spoken for,” Leah said offhandedly, fiddling with a twig in the grass and poking it into the dirt. A glass container of a cheese tapas medley in the basket caught her eye and her mouth watered. She decided she would take it home with her tonight.  

“Leah…”

“And that would be so awkward if you chased after someone who didn’t reciprocate that bond. Torture, really.”

“Leah…”

“And, wow, so embarrassing for you.” She widened her eyes in faux sympathy. “I hope whoever it is lets you down easy. Good luck with that, Edward.”

Edward narrowed his eyes appraisingly, her teasing nibbling at the edges of his patience after his admission. Her protective nature pricked at her disapprovingly a little, but she was having too much fun to allow it to overtake their interaction. His mask of calm made less of an appearance nowadays and Leah enjoyed seeing Edward let his more intemperate emotions slip through occasionally. The vampire she now knew was far from volatile, but Leah liked the idea of him losing some of that control and unleashing himself when it came to her.

“Are you quite finished?” he asked.

“No,” Leah replied cheerily. “But you may speak.”

“Why thank you,” he replied sarcastically. He ran a frustrated hand through his artfully disheveled hair. “You know, I’m of the mind to try and test your imprint a bit. Poke at the edges and see exactly how far it stretches.” A devilish smile lit up his face.

Leah knew he meant no harm by it, and wasn’t exactly worried, but his words were enough to make her chest tighten.

Well, you wanted to see Edward unleashed. Let’s see how wild he’s willing to get.

“Reading my mind is off limits,” Leah reminded him stiffly. She dropped the twig and busied herself with rooting out another cracker from the box.

“Oh Leah,” Edward shook his head. “I would never want or need to read your mind. Where’s the fun in that?” He leaned forward and studied her as she chewed and attempted to ignore him.

Even so, Leah fortified her mind and frantically ran through her mental music catalogue for anything that might be effective at blocking unwanted intrusions.

She kept coming back to a favorite of Sue’s, an old jazz number she would play on their vintage record player at home. One Sue and her father used to dance along to after a couple drinks.

This is my first affair, so please be kind

Handle my heart with care, oh, please be kind

This is all so grand, my dreams are on parade

If you'll just hold my hand, they'll never, ever fade

 

Leah could have punched herself in the face for her choice of song.

Really subtle, Lee. Now if Edward reads your mind, he’ll think you’re a groveling weirdo.

Leah glanced up at Edward to face him and whatever he was about to ask of her, but he had transformed. He wore a stricken expression, easing it a little only when he noticed her observing him.

“Of all the things I anticipated, “Please Be Kind” and Mildred Bailey was not amongst them,” he mentioned softly.

Leah frowned. “Apparently you are reading my mind, after denying it over and over and,” she sharply accused.

Edward chuckled. “Leah, please, just because I don’t go digging into other people’s heads doesn’t mean I can ignore projectiles in my path. You are practically screaming the lyrics at me right now with your mind.”

“Oh.” Leah lessened the volume of her thoughts a few decibels. She shrugged sheepishly. “I’m still getting used to the whole idea. And…wait…how do you know Mildred Bailey?” Leah knew not many people outside classic jazz lovers and Native persons were familiar with her.

Edward’s eyes almost leapt out of their sockets, and he waved her off. “How do I know Mildred Bailey? Leah, I hope you know you are speaking to one of the biggest jazz groupies of the past century. Saw Mrs. Swing herself at the Blue Angel in New York City in ’33.”

He quickly stood and giddily hummed a few bars of the song while strolling towards the creek bed, his perfect pitch and melodic voice accentuating the notes.  Leah felt such a shockingly fierce pull of adoration for him in that moment that she clawed at the grass and tethered herself to the ground. It wasn’t just his obscure music knowledge and his voice; she found herself wanting to know so much more of his life before her. She wanted every story, every feeling, every single thing that had touched him so deeply that he managed to remember it fondly decades later. She thought had gotten a proper hold around her emotions regarding him, but Edward found new and inventive ways to surprise her. She would have to resign herself to the fact that they would always be that close to the surface.

“I think I remember all the lyrics.” He hummed experimentally as he turned to face her. He held his hand out. “Care to take me for a spin?”

It a moment for Leah to realize he was asking her to dance and she was simultaneously shy and wary at his question. It seemed so much more intimate than when he had laid her out on his bed.  

She tried to laugh it off. “I really don’t think you want that. Haven’t slow danced since my college formal. I’m definitely not good…at that.” She wiped her now sweaty palms on her midi skirt.

“C’mon,” Edward urged playfully, jerking his head in invitation. “I thought the imprint meant you have to step outside your very limited comfort zone on occasion and do what I ask.” He winked at her.

“That not how it works,” Leah ground out hotly, annoyed more by the fact that she was considering it than by his teasing. 

“Even so, do a nostalgic vampire a favor. Please?” He eagerly flexed his hand.

Leah couldn’t resist, that please hitting her like an arrow in her heart. The man wanted to dance with her to a song he had heard in another life. How could she deny him that?

“I mean, I warned you. Get ready for me stepping on your expensive Italian loafers.” She placed her hand resignedly in his and he pulled her up and into him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll lead,” he replied.

He felt even better than that afternoon on his bed, solid and somewhat pliable under her hands. More person than statue now that she was touching him again. The late afternoon sun was still bouncing fractals off his skin, but with less intensity. His arms softly glowed as one anchored her waist and the other took hold of her hand. He brought their entwined hands in close, almost to his chest. Leah avoided looking at his face, locking her eyes onto a tree over his shoulder.

“So I guess we’re just obliterating the no-touch embargo, huh?” Leah joked unsteadily, feeling her chest rise against his and immediately blushing at their contact. Now that they had acknowledged what was between them, everything felt brand new and overwhelming. Every touch was loaded with meaning and her shyness was building in way that was unfamiliar to her.

“We’re just dancing, Leah. That’s all,” Edward whispered in her ear, in a tone that made it seem they were doing anything but just dancing.  

Leah didn’t like the formality; she felt like she was being called to the principal’s office when he called her by her full name. She cleared her throat. “It’s Lee. Everyone calls me that. Like friends and family. You can call me…that.”

Edward hummed in interest. “Well, Lee, we’ll go slowly.” His arm tightened around her and his nose nudged at her temple. His mouth was still close to her ear, and he began to softly sing another verse of  “Please Be Kind.” He turned their bodies slowly in time, shifting his feet deliberately so she would match his steps.

Leah thought she would melt at the dreamlike quality of his singing voice and leaned her forehead into his neck.

So tell me your love's sincere, oh, please be kind
Tell me I needn't fear, oh, please be kind
'cause if you leave me dear, I know my heart will lose its mind
If you love me, please be kind

 

She could see this version of Edward so clearly in her head. Leaning back in a sharp, wide legged suit with his hair slicked back with pomade, while pretending to bring a lit cigarette to his lips in the smoky haze of a dark club: A pale face in the night listening to a mournful trumpet punctuate Mildred Bailey’s singing.

Was this Edward trying to escape his anger, his disappointment at what his life had become? Did the music provide some relief to the unending solitude? Or was he looking at the crowded club to be his next hunting ground, another unwitting victim to his insatiable vampiric thirst. Leah knew he only hunted animals now, but that couldn’t have always been the case.

Leah had avoided broaching Edward’s human death count and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. It wouldn’t change anything for her, not at this point, but it seemed so personal. She knew the man he was now, and she gave him as much credit for all the latitude he had given her.

Still, she knew she would eventually have to face the idea that if Edward had killed vampires, he also killed humans at some point.

Her breath caught with the dark direction of her thoughts.

Edward paused. “You alright?”

“Mhm,” she replied. And honestly, she was a little tired of thinking of excuses and precautions; the fact she saw Edward everyday and held herself back from him. Enough of the revelations and tentative looks and furtive touches.

It was time for them to just be, even with all the inevitable obstacles.

He pulled away from her and caught her gaze, leaning down to her level.

“You’re sure?” His eyes pierced through her defenses, and Leah told him the truth.

“There are big conversations we need to have, things I need to know.” Edward nodded slowly.

“Like the vampire army,” he acknowledged. Leah shifted in discomfort. Memories of that day still dredged up her anxiety, even knowing Edward was not some heartless sociopath coldly disassembling vampire corpses.

“Like that.”

“Lee..,” Edward started.

“But,” Leah interrupted. “I think I’m done waiting for some perfect moment, or punishing each other or wanting to weigh the benefits of that knowledge against how I feel about you.” Her words tumbled out and she felt the release of her inhibitions. So much better than the last time since she was allowing herself to rise to him. To let him in.  

They were being so careful. It was past time.

Edward didn’t move but he didn’t release her either. He simply stared back at her.

“Like I said, I think I’m done waiting…aren’t you?” Leah hedged, not wanting to project her feelings but hoping he felt the same nonetheless.

Edward finally moved, resolve settling on his face. He rubbed a hand soothingly up and down Leah’s back and hugged her towards him. His lips left a glancing kiss at her temple, and he followed that with many more down the side of her face.

Words were not necessary. Leah had her answer.

When Edward reached her jaw, Leah clutched at his shoulders and pulled herself further up against him. Before she knew it, Edward had expertly lifted her and her legs were wrapped around his waist. He swiftly rotated them, with Leah’s back now against the trunk of a tree. She could feel the rough bark scratching through the thin fabric of her blouse.

She must have looked as dumbstruck as she felt because Edward gave her a confident, almost cocky grin.

“Now look who’s challenging the no touch embargo,” he accused.

“Edward.” Leah gasped out.

“Although, I will say the embargo was more your idea if we’re being honest…”

“Edward..”

“What?”

“Shutup.” And Leah did the exact thing she had wanted to do since that first moment in the hospital. Her lips confidently locked onto Edward’s, and Leah thought the imprint bond would explode through and out of her skin in a wave of ecstatic pleasure.  

He tasted sweet, he astringent tang of what could only be his venom an afterthought as he molded his cold lips against her overheated ones. His body pushed further into hers, and his tongue gently swiped against hers as they deepened the kiss. Leah responded by shoving hers back into his mouth, and she swore she felt Edward smile against her. Just for that, she wanted to catch him unaware, to surprise him just a little, and so she sank her teeth experimentally into his bottom lip. Just enough for him to feel the indent of her bite in his skin.

She was stunned by the vibration of a low growl in his chest.

Okayyy.

She broke away from the kiss, somewhat chastened. Maybe he didn’t like that. 

“Uh, sorry…I didn’t mean to…I mean I did, but…,” Leah stammered.

Edward cut her off with a smoldering glare.  

“You didn’t mean to what?” he ground out in a rough whisper. The man didn’t need to breathe but his heaving chest now matched hers. Gone was the sweet, playful tenor of their dancing. His eyes were dark and bottomless, an abyss into which Leah wanted to fling herself down. “Bite me? Mark me like that?” He nipped at her jaw. “Drive me absolutely crazy?” His tongue flicked out and licked at the corner of her mouth, and Leah’s insides transformed into liquid molten desire.

“I meant it when I said the vampire mating bond is equally intense, Lee.” He paused, his mouth at her neck now, lightly sucking at her skin as he kissed her there. He continued for a few moments before pulling back a little, his forehead flush against her cheek. “If we start this now, we’re both going to be consumed. Between your imprint and my tie to you, the pull is…astounding.” He seemed taken aback at how powerful their draw was. Leah believed it; the torture of her early imprint days made an indelible impression on her mind. And to learn she was dealing with a mating bond, too.

She was made of stronger stuff than she realized. She ran her hands down his shoulders and upper arms as encouragement to continue.

Edward groaned. “Whatever higher being may damn me, I can’t stop touching you.”

Leah didn’t think he was being dramatic as Edward’s bottom half ground into hers and she felt just how potent the mating bond’s effect was on him.

“Oh, wow.” Her head banged back against the tree and she closed her eyes.

I want you, want you, want you, want you. I lov-.

Leah grimaced. They weren’t there yet. Not verbally at least.

“Should we stop?” Edward murmured. “Or do you want to be consumed?” He was now insistently kissing along her clavicle down to the upper swell of her chest. His fingers caught up and they swiped too lightly against the side of her breast.

Leah fingers made their way to his hair and wove through the long strands. She pulled his head back and collided with him again, their mouths crashing like dominoes, and she plunged her tongue back into his. She ran the back of her hand affectionately down the side of his face, wanting him to know how much she adored him. How much she wanted him to be hers. How much she wanted to be his. Edward responded by squeezing her around the outside of her upper thighs.  

The electricity they generated between them, when they touched like this, sparked like a hundred live wires. It shot off them like energy from a supernova, enough to power an entire city. No, the entire world. But that didn’t matter because the world didn’t exist when she was with him. Only Edward.

How different she was from that first night, clutching her bandaged hand.

They spent several moments exhausting each other’s mouths, their deep and passionate kissing eventually tapering off. Leah broke away gasping as Edward observed in amusement. But his eyes were still dark, and she could detect the ragged vibration of repressed growls in his chest.

“Well, we certainly put that off long enough.” He gave her a sweet peck, and then another when she didn’t answer. Then another, and another, and they were kissing again, although to a much lazier rhythm than before.

“Hmmm.” Leah hummed in agreement when they finally stopped. “That is dangerous. It’s almost dark now.” They peered around them. Dusk had firmly settled at the edge of the woods and shadows took the place of sunlit reflections on the water.

She moved her hands to cradle Edward’s face and swiped her thumbs along the recesses of his cheekbones. Edward turned into her palm and kissed it.

“I need to go,” Leah stated, more than little regretful. The last thing she wanted to do was leave.

But it was getting late. Sue would miss her. And she wanted time to shower so Seth couldn’t pick up on the vampire scent whenever he got back from his night. That was a conversation she needed to prepare for.

“Stay with me,” Edward whispered alluringly and Leah felt a heady sensation, almost as if she was gently floating. His words carried her thoughts away from home and Sue and Seth and back into him. It took her a minute to realize what exactly was happening.  

“What are you doing?” Leah pushed playfully at his chest. “What is that, some vampire mind trick?”

Edward let his head fall and chuckled. “Is it working?”

“You are shameless,” Leah chided, secretly flattered. He was trying to charm her.

“I just upped the charm offensive a little, nothing too special.” Edward shrugged. “I know I didn’t have a shot in hell.”

“Weird, supernatural hypnosis doesn’t work on me.” Leah rolled her eyes, not admitting it had affected her more than she let on.

“Oh, no?” Edward’s gaze flashed with heat and Leah was immediately struck by how much she wanted to stay. He didn’t need to do anything beyond just look at her a certain way and she would be swept up in him.

No hypnosis necessary.

“But seriously, stay with me.” His tone was coaxing, accommodating and a little urgent. “I don’t like you being so far. I don’t think you like it either. Just because we have our own lives doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice so much time together.”

Leah’s imprinted self practically panted in agreement.

“And since I can’t come to La Push…you could sleep in the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“You don’t sleep,” Leah teased. “And you have work.”

“Fine, I’ll organize Carlisle’s map collection in the study when I get back, or whatever. And both him and Esme will steer clear, they’ll give you privacy.”

“It’s their house Edward!”

“So? It’s mine, too,” he pushed back.  Edward let Leah’s legs down from his waist, knowing as much as she did that she couldn’t stay. He was working a midnight shift at the hospital, and wouldn’t be able to spend much of the evening with her anyway.

His face was so endearing, Leah found her defenses crumbling into a heap of dust. She blurted out something she had wanted to ask him before she even realized what she was saying.

“Take me out tomorrow?”

Edward raised his eyebrows. “Us go out? You want me to take you out?”

Leah nodded hesitantly, suddenly feeling foolish.  

“Yeah, I mean, everything is happening fast and kinda backwards, and…”

“Okay,” Edward agreed. “Definitely.”

“Yeah?” Leah asked hopefully.

“It’s a date.”

“Ugh,” Leah cringed. “Don’t call it that. I think we’re past the dating stage.”

“You want a date. I’ll give you a date. If you want an overpriced cocktail served in a mason jar surrounded by humans crowding in a bar discussing how tired they are from their week, then that’s what you’ll get.”

Leah bit back a laugh. “I really do want to see how you’ll handle that setting. Not going to lie.”

“Hey, I used to go out,” Edward replied defensively. “A lot, one would say. I can control myself.”

“I’m sure.”

Edward’s face relaxed as he took her in and he loosely grasped her hands. “There would be nothing I want more than to be out with you in the world.”

Leah basked in his smile.

“Port Angeles,” Leah insisted. They could use a little distance from their respective towns.

“Sure, I’ll be pulling a double and plan to get of work around 6 PM.  You want to park your car here, and I’ll take us?”

“Yes, good.”

“And,” Edward hesitated but continued. “The drive will give us time to talk about some of the things you mentioned. All of it, actually.”

Leah stifled the mild anxiety she felt stirring at his words.

“We don’t have to –.”

“Yes, we do. You know we do,” Edward reaffirmed.

“Okay, yeah. I know,” Leah conceded, her mood dampening.

Edward gently clutched her chin and lifted her face towards him.

“Hey,” he said softly. He brought his face down and kissed her slowly, taking his time as she savored him back. “Until tomorrow,” he promised.

“Tomorrow,” Leah promised back. “I’m taking the cheese,” she added, gesturing down to the picnic basket.

Edward kissed her again.







Leah was ruining this. Her itchy teaching clothes clung to her in a cold sweat, and she dragged the heels of her ankle boots along the floor mat of her seat. She was in a definite mood. It didn’t help Edward looked extra delicious tonight, wearing a long-sleeved cream button up rolled up to reveal his forearms and a freshly pressed pair of dark wash jeans

She was supposed to be enjoying this. Their planned date that she had asked for. They both were.

Instead, she kept glancing over at Edward as he drove rapidly, jerking her head forward every time he caught her and turned his head in question. He asked her a few times if anything was wrong, his concern evident, and she continually denied it. The tenth time this happened, Edward muttered under his breath and took a detour on an exit ramp off the highway to Port Angeles. The sun had just set and dusk was upon them, when Edward expertly parked on a dead end side street. It was quiet and secluded, enough so that Leah’s nerves ramped up even further.

Edward undid his seatbelt and turned his body fully towards her. He said nothing as he stared, forcing Leah to look back in embarrassment. Leah couldn’t stop herself from giving Edward a prolonged kiss in greeting when they met at his house, but Edward’s attempts at engaging her in conversation had fallen flat as Leah remained uncharacteristically quiet.

Leah felt her annoyance at his stare quicken and she defensively eyed him.

“What?” she finally forced out.

“Oh, nothing,” Edward replied sarcastically. If it was possible, he was even more handsome when ruffled and confused, the little downtown of his frowning lips begging to be kissed. “Just wanted to see how you felt being alternately stared at and ignored for thirty minutes.” He huffed in exasperation when Leah bit her lip and looked down at her lap, fingers fidgeting wildly. She knew she was being ridiculous, but the nagging feeling in her chest wouldn’t let go of her and she knew she couldn’t continue unless she told him.

“Hey.” Edward put his hand on her knee and rubbed it soothingly, despite his indignation. “I thought we had reached a point...last night. We’re in this together. I thought I made it clear you could tell me anything.”

“I know,” Leah breathed out, trying not to let the cool touch of his hand affect her any further than being in such close proximity had already done.

“We don’t have to go anywhere if you’re anxious about being seen…with me. Or if you don’t feel like it,” Edward offered, exceedingly considerate and Leah wanted to hate him for it. At least he wasn’t offering for them to go their separate ways since she clearly didn’t want him. That would have really pissed her off.

Of course, she wanted to be seen with him. She wanted the world to know he was hers. For them to understand the thing that bound them.

But Leah had a nightmare that kept her on the verge of wakefulness the night before, after Edward had kissed her thoroughly senseless. The bubbling effervescence of their evening had sunk like a lead balloon in her chest after that dream, making her question exactly how much Edward was holding back from her.

She was in a lush bedroom, velvet curtains shrouding figures on a giant bed. They were moaning in time with each other, the larger figure undulating over the smaller, feminine one. Leah loomed closer and almost cried out in despair when she realized it was Edward and another vampire, her face vague and undefined except for her strawberry blond curls. Leah couldn’t know for sure, but felt in her bones that it was Tanya. Before she could do or say anything, the scene changed…

She was back at the bottom of that mountain, the air crisp under a cloudless sky and the sharp rays of a low sun. This time no other wolves surrounded her, she was alone as she paced the foothills, keeping a watchful eye and nose for any rogue vampires. She was startled as she noticed the rapid shimmer of something on the mountain, steadily gaining ground as it raced towards her. She thought it might be flowing water, but noted with horror that there was a form to whatever it was. A shape. A smell, one unlike any vampire she had ever encountered. Something old and unspoken that did not belong here. And then…

She had awoken with her heart beating like a drum in her chest, sure the sound was echoing and bouncing back from the corners of her room. She had caught her breath but remained frozen in fear and devastation, the nightmare and that image of Tanya unwilling to release its claws from her psyche. She had immediately texted Edward to ask what he was doing. He had asked why she was up so late and she deflected, stating she couldn’t stop thinking of him after their evening together, which was mostly true. She disguised her panic well, casually exchanging texts with him until she fell back into bed in a restless slumber.

It was safe to say she was also cranky as shit from a lack of sleep.

She let out a couple breaths before taking the hand Edward placed on her knee and intertwining her fingers with his. She felt her anxiety rising and tried her best to push it down.

Edward could feel the tremors in her hands and chest, deep concern now invading his expression.

“Lee, what on earth?” He smoothed a hand down her hair and placed it on the side of her neck. “Did something happen? Are you sick?” He was in full doctor mode now, mentally checking her vitals as he ran his thumb over her pulse in a calming gesture.

“No, not sick. This is so stupid. It was just a dream,” she muttered to herself, but Edward of course overheard her.

“What was a dream?” he urged. “Does this have to do with why you couldn’t sleep last night?”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Can’t get anything past you.” There was acid in her tone, but mostly because she didn’t him want to see her as some sniveling wreck. She was being completely unreasonable and knew it. It didn’t make her any less peeved.

“Hey,” he turned her neck toward him. Skepticism and something like fear danced across his face. “Are you having second thoughts? I’m not going to force anything, just tell me if you are.” He was calm but Leah noted the strain in his statement, the pain she was putting him through by drawing this out. She finally relented.

“It’s nowhere close to that. You’re not going anywhere,” she stated gruffly. She squeezed his hand even more tightly and felt him relax back into his seat.

“Then please tell me, otherwise my head might explode with the possibilities.”

Leah took a deep breath. She could at least start with the mountain. “You said we were going to talk about the big thing. The unsaid thing tonight.”

Edward stared blankly at the dashboard, nodding in confirmation. “I did. I noticed you weren’t too keen yesterday, however. I didn’t want to bring it up first thing.”

“Yeah, well, I unfortunately can’t stop thinking about it now,” Leah bit out. She wanted to blame him for even mentioning it yesterday in the first place, like he was the catalyst for her dream ruining their date before it even began. And she wanted dream Edward to pay for having dream sex with his ex-girlfriend.

“What happened?” Edward inquired again.

“I had a dream about the mountain,” she blurted out, keeping her hard stare ahead. “I had a dream about the day we were all there, and it was awful, and something was there. Something you aren’t telling me.”

Edward said nothing, waiting for her to finish.

“There were other vampires there. I caught a whiff of their scent. It was faint but unforgettable. The dream shook that memory loose like a fucking lego house. Something other than you and your family and the burning corpses. Something…old.” Leah didn’t want to admit she was frightened, but the sight of them tumbling towards her and that scent…it had surfaced her trauma all over again. She wasn’t even giving Edward a chance to explain and she was already accusing him of holding things back. And she deserved an explanation.

“You’re right,” Edward said abruptly, pulling their hands toward his mouth. He must have heard the fear in her voice, because he kissed her knuckles a few times. And then he opened the door, his Tesla giving off low chimes to alert them that a door was ajar. He turned off the ignition and slid out. “Join me outside, would you? I can’t exactly hold you comfortably in the driver’s seat.”

Leah ripped off her seatbelt, still in no mood, and shoved her body out the door.

“I don’t want you to hold me.” She sullenly crossed her arms, knowing she was being a brat and desperately needing Edward to be touching her at this moment.

“Mhmm,” Edward replied skeptically, and pulled her into his arms after rounding the car. He rubbed his hands countless times down her back, so much so that Leah felt another feeling come to the forefront. Edward must have noticed how excited he was making her because he moved back a little, giving her space while still keeping her in his arms.

A single streetlamp activated itself in the dark a few yards from them, its misty light lending an eerie glow to the side of Edward’s crestfallen face.

“I’m sorry I’ve put this off so long,” he apologized. “I’m ashamed honestly, I put everyone in danger.”

“You keep saying that,” Leah irritably replied. “And it’s probably not even true.” Her fear spiked at the possibility that it could be, though.

Edward took a few more moments, stroking her hair. If anything, he seemed nervous now and Leah suddenly felt terrible. Her protective shield rose at his discomfort. She had been a little selfish, putting him on the spot, but then she remembered the first piece of her dream and fumed silently. She stayed quiet and alert, allowing Edward to come to his explanation on his own.

“I think it was apparent I was deeply unfulfilled during my last stay in Forks. Being the age I was when I died, it necessitates starting over at certain point so I can stay with Carlisle and Esme longer wherever they move. It brings up less questions, overall. But being in high school again was torturous. I think you’d agree once is enough.” Leah nodded seriously in agreement. “Yes, well, I fancied myself as a bit of a god like figure, entertaining myself with the banality of teenage minds, manipulating teachers and administrators, and being an overall, very unpleasant…asshole.” Leah snorted, almost impressed with Edward’s cursing. Edward gave her a slight smile before continuing. “I felt invincible and acted accordingly. I was becoming a little more reckless with my hunting habits, with my presence around town. I figured humans were too self-involved to ever notice a vampire and I was less than concerned with the people in town. One night, I was hunting about fifty miles due east, in an isolated valley, confident I was alone. But my scent must have attracted others because a trio of vampires immediately surrounded me as I finished off a mountain lion. One was called James, another Victoria. They were mated. A match made in hell, to be honest.” Edward’s tone at this point made Leah’s blood run cold. It held nothing but vicious contempt. “They laughed at my meal and I read both their minds, immediately realizing that they were trouble. They asked where I stayed, if I knew anything about towns in the area for hunting, and I waved them off. Even if I couldn’t stand Forks at the time, I wasn’t a complete monster, and I would never let any human eating vampires linger near our territory. I told them I belonged to a larger clan and they should steer clear of us and Washington in general. I was arrogant about it, telling James he really didn’t stand a chance against me, thinking a show of force would work. It did for his companion Laurent, who sped off, not seeking trouble where he could avoid it. Last I heard, he was somewhere down south. New Orleans, maybe. James knew he couldn’t take me at my size, he was smaller in stature and his mate Victoria was a coward, more skillful at evading than fighting. They simply sneered and went on their way, and I didn’t think of them again. I made my way back to town, convinced that was the end of it.” Edward looked down. “I was wrong, of course. The fall of my senior year, there were deaths in town. The owner of the old mill at the edge of town, and the wife of one of the postal workers. He returned home one evening to find her throat ripped open in their living room.” Leah shuddered in disgust at the memory. She had heard of the deaths, her mother not allowing her to leave the rez for a few weeks at the news. She had hated vampires for this reason in particular: Their ruthlessness and complete lack of respect for human life. Edward noticed her increased anger and clenched his eyes shut before opening them again, as if to erase the memory. “They occurred within twenty four hours of each other, and Carlisle and I quickly set up patrol, knowing the police would find nothing and that it had to be vampires. I had a gnawing fear that I knew the exact vampires who had perpetrated the crimes, and I’m sorry to say I was right. James was a sadistic killer in addition to being a vampire, and clearly took pleasure in the act. Victoria enabled him. We had two days of a cat and mouse chase, them returning to the town limits and then quickly diverting deep into the rainforest. James had taken my threat as a challenge and was now toying with us. We finally cornered them on the third night. They had slipped in to commit another murder but luckily we stopped them short in a deserted part of town. They were getting too bold and that was their downfall. Carlisle tried to reason with them, potentially instill any fear of being found out by governing vampires. He hates killing. But I could not be bothered and Carlisle’s efforts were futile. Without a word, I dispatched James easily. I tore his head from his neck and set fire to his corpse immediately. Victoria proved more difficult to capture, however. She clearly went half mad and fled in terror while I chased after her. Carlisle eventually convinced me to turn back, reasoning Victoria would no longer be an issue, He also sensed her cowardice. We were both so naïve to think she would stay away.” Edward shook his head in disappointment, at both him and his father. Leah’s fingers ached to smooth his furrowed brow, even as she listened with sinking realization. “Victoria made revenge for James her mission in life. For the months after we killed James, she turned a number of humans into vampires, starting in Seattle. She left a veritable trail of ruin all the way back to Forks. She was enraged and turning a human is quite difficult without control, so I’m somewhat amazed she was able to accomplish turning that many. It was then we realized how much she truly hated us and what she intended to do:  Create an army to slaughter the whole town and anyone who dared defy her.” Leah ‘s stomach lurched uneasily, knowing her cue was coming. The shapeshifters would soon collide with Edward’s story. “We sought the help of Sam and the pack. We had sensed the increasing number of shifters after James’ death and knew Sam was now the leader. He had recently invoked the treaty from long ago, before I had been turned, and we knew he had a vested interest in protecting the town and your home. La Push. There weren’t enough of us Cullens to fight back, especially with the others away. We didn’t want to draw too much attention. Sam, we knew could count on him.” Edward trained his gaze back onto Leah, looking so sorrowful she was sure there would be tears filling his eyes if he could produce them. “What I hadn’t counted on was training mere children to go to their deaths. You were all teenagers in high school or freshly graduated. So young and now called to a battle that was of my making. The guilt was unbearable.” Leah rubbed her thumb over his knuckle, urging him forward. “I don’t have to remind you of the trainings. How hard we drilled you in seeking vulnerabilities on a vampire’s body, how to approach and jump and attack. How Seth and Colin and Brady were only thirteen and being taught how to murder by our hands.” Edward’s voice wavered and almost broke. Leah’s heart broke along with it. “Sam had faith in all of you, but I swore to find another way. I saw you finally turn on your sixteenth birthday, after your father’s death…and I swore, you all would not be the ones to fight. I would get Emmett and Rosalie and Alice and Jasper to return, along with our friends from Alaska. We would manage. We had a plan in place, and I urged Sam to keep you far enough away that Victoria and her army wouldn’t sense you. Beyond the root of the mountain, too far to smell. You were to be an absolute last line of defense and I would fight like hell to make sure none of you ever saw battle. And for a moment, this plan seemed foolproof. What could possibly go wrong with experienced vampires making quick work of a bunch of disorganized newborns? We would kill the few leading the fight, including Victoria, and the rest would take the hint and flee.”

Edward gave a rough, humorless laugh and Leah had the suspicion she was about to learn of something highly unpleasant. The glimmer on the mountain, the disturbing scent of an age untold.

“They arrived that morning. The Volturi stepped in and nothing was the same.”

The name Edward mentioned sent a chill up Leah’s spine and she couldn’t ignore how fitting it felt. How it informed the sensation of dread that arose from her dream.  

“What’s a Volturi?” Leah asked numbly, the sound barely lifting off her tongue, She didn’t know if she wanted an answer.

“More like who,” Edward amended, squeezing her hands. “I mentioned a vampire governing body. They are that. The top of the top. They set rules and practices in place to ensure we never expose ourselves to humankind. We don’t cause a scene or blow our cover by killing too much or hunting in plain sight. We never stay in one place too long, lest questions start being asked. We keep the peace and move in the shadows, our existence subject to the whims of the Volturi. Even an ocean away, their network caught wind of the encroaching army, the havoc they were wreaking in plain sight. The Volutri were allegedly duty bound to handle the situation.” Edward paused, his expression darkening although he kept his voice even. “They have always been quite intrigued with my family, especially since they have known Carlisle for centuries. They find him – and us by association – a novelty. You remember that portrait, in the hall?” Leah nodded. “One of the Volturi leaders, Aro, he commissioned it. Caravaggio wasn’t the only one in on the joke. The title is in Latin, inscribed on the back: Sanctus Carlisle, ad populam. Saint Carlisle, of -.”

“Of the people,” Leah finished. She shuddered at the obvious mockery in the title.

Edward nodded slowly. “That’s right. I don’t have to tell you that they were – are – very resentful and I think even jealous of our lifestyle. We possess a control they can’t even fathom. I’m sure we must seem like a threat. And you add in the powers…”

“And this Aro guy is probably chomping at the bit to get you on his team.” The picture was coming into focus for Leah. And a horrifying thought rose above all others.

“Does he know about us? About the pack. Does Sam know about them?” she asked sharply. These people, the Volturi, had been there that day. It must have been the element that set her teeth on edge, that had everyone bristling in anticipation. The army seemed like a distant thought when Leah finally combed back through her memories; it was a far more sinister threat that had made it difficult to revisit that time and place. She had shut out so much.

Edward patiently answered all of her questions, even as she had abruptly interrupted his story. “Sam knows. He’s aware they exist; he knew they came that day. The Volturi and their many henchmen dispatched of most the army, and later hunted down any who had fled further into the wilderness. I fought alongside them, although I have to say I felt I had no choice at that point. My mind reading was of particular value that day. I was kept behind for hours to help burn the corpses, while Sam directed everyone to return to La Push. I will never forget the smell. The screams.” Edward shut his eyes again while Leah moved in closer, circling her arms around his waist.

“As for the pack,” Edward continued, “I know the Volturi sensed something other than vampires in the area, but we managed to shield their curiosity. The pack was never in view, and the vampires’ concentration remained on the incoming army. They are unaware of your tribe’s history and certainly  of your shapeshifting capabilities. I drove the point home with Sam, that the Volturi could never be trusted to know about the pack. They are not ones to recognize treaties, especially those made by lesser vampires. They decide what the law is, and its protections certainly do not extend to non-vampires. Carlisle remained here with Esme, not just because he liked the community. He remained just in case they ever returned, in case they ever decided to further examine that initial curiosity. And I was only a phone call away.” He rubbed Leah’s shoulders, as if in apology. Leah’s mind was brimming with a thousand questions, but she could see the toll this was taking on Edward. The truth burdened him heavily and Leah finally understood the implications of that day; how Edward’s own story wove inextricably with it, and how a series of choices had led to the brink of impending death and destruction.

And yet every step, Edward had tried to do the right thing. His intentions were never in question. And he had tried so hard, so hard to spare her and her friends any hardship. To maintain their innocence for that much longer.

He cared so much.

Edward’s admission melted the last of her anger, even as the thought of the Volturi, and to a lesser, more shameful extent, Tanya, pinched at her chest painfully. She was not entirely convinced that the Volutri were no longer a threat, and this was further confirmed by the Cullens’ presence in town. But for now, her imprint bond was a twinkling canopy above them, netting them in light on this abandoned street in the night.

So many revelations and Leah couldn’t help but center her thoughts around Edward’s sacrifice, his utter commitment to his family…and the pack.

Things she now loved about him.

And it was the truth. The imprint may have forever tethered them, but the distinct humanity that lay within each of them was what cradled their true feelings.  The inky blackness of her deepest, most feared emotion parted like a curtain and revealed her bleeding heart.

She loved Edward.

As she dwelled in this truth and sank further into this new honest version of herself, Edward’s eyes searched her face, seeking some reaction. Anger, perhaps, fear and distrust. The things a previous version of Leah had embodied so well, some for good reason.

Leah cut him off before he could say anything.

“Thank you for telling me,” she whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

“Leah, I am so sorry, I was so reckless…,”

She found the hidden meaning in his words. That it would have killed him if his recklessness had caused her further harm. If his mate would have died due to his own actions, before either of them would have had the chance to understand what they were to one another. There was a reason Leah’s imprint had not struck until she saw Edward so many years later, same as the bond Edward felt towards Leah on that fateful call. She knew they had both needed to more fully become themselves; not mired in fear, self-pity, and doubt which clouded any further emotions. She was sure of it.

“Shh, you have nothing to feel sorry about. You protected us. You protected me.” Leah shed her old fears like a second skin, her mind adjusting to a new reality. She was not going to keep telling herself the same story. It was time for a different one.

“It‘s all I ever wanted,” Edward whispered back, kissing her forehead. She felt some relief in his actions, a certain vibration of happiness that reached outward from his kiss.  

He thought he was off the hook.

“Oh, you think just because of everything you told me, you can wash your hands of it?” Leah stated in mock disbelief.

Edward leaned back, jolted into confusion. She was going to give the man whiplash. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Becky with the strawberry blond hair.” Leah cackled inwardly, unable to stop herself from torturing him. The poor man had no idea he was on her shit list for something that wasn’t even his fault.

“Uhh, what?”

“You and Tanya! That’s what,” Leah playfully shook Edward at his waist, huffing at the memory of her dream. She was still not completely convinced of Edward’s innocence in that part of it.

“What about me and Tanya? I told you everything there is to know.”

“Really? Then can you tell me why you and her were getting it on in my dream in the nicest velvet canopy bed I’ve ever seen in my life. You both seemed to be enjoying yourselves. Explain yourself!” Leah crossed her arms and pursed her lips, mostly to keep herself from laughing.

Edward narrowed his eyes in distaste, his confusion abating.

“You must be joking. I’ve never even seen a velvet canopy bed in my life. Human and vampire.”

“Sure, sure.” Leah shrugged, her face heating despite her initial humor about the situation.

Edward took her chin and tilted it up towards him. Leah stared up at him defiantly.

“What can I do to make it clear that no one occupies that space in my life except for you?”

Leah shivered, each word hitting her like a lightning bolt and chipping away at her resolve. Edward backed them against the car with his unyielding form, the front of his body flush with hers. It may have been a chilly night, but Leah was warming nicely.

“I can think of a few things,” Leah replied in a throaty whisper.

“Is that so?” Edward brushed a piece of hair away from her forehead and dragged his lips along her jaw. “That’s a very detailed dream. I’d much prefer if you could recount your dreams involving us. What are we doing right now in that head of yours?” Before she could reply, Edward caught her mouth in a deep kiss, his tongue tangling with hers as he pushed himself further into her. Leah felt as if she was melding into one with him, the closest they could possibly be with their clothes still intact.

Leah didn’t answer and gasped a little as his hands found her behind and squeezed gently.

“Hmm, Lee you’re not answering me. Wolf got your tongue?” He laughed lightly at his own joke and Leah would have rolled her eyes and formed a scathing comeback if she wasn’t busy transforming into a puddle under Edward’s skillful hands. He pushed his mouth back onto hers and Leah bit back softly. Edward groaned. He really seemed to like when she did that.

“More like Edward got my tongue.”

“I do, don’t I?” he said against her lips, shocking the hell out of her when he drew her tongue back into his mouth, sucking roughly along the length of it.

It was so hot and kind of… dirty. She had expected passion from Edward, but this verged on something else. The man had probably seen and done it all, but this uninhibited side of him that he felt comfortable slowly revealing to her was driving her to a new level of lust. One that was embedded in her love for him. All sides of him.

Words would have to wait, though. Edward kissed and touched her enough for Leah to forget her own name, especially when his large hands went to her chest and rubbed and squeezed her over her blouse. Her nipples hardened instantly, and he palmed her breasts as she licked up his neck and back to his lips.

Her mind fought any panic that they would be caught doing this so publicly. There was no one around.

And she could not get enough. She would never get enough of him.

They continued their push and pull, her hot mouth covering his cold one, until at last, Leah yawned widely into their kiss.

Edward froze and then chuckled.

“I need to get you home, I think,” he stated quietly. The night was dark around them and the hour was getting late. Leah knew she was much too raw from Edward’s revelations, and her inward ones, to continue on to Port Angeles. Their date would have to wait for another day.

“I think that’s a good idea. As much as I really want you to keep touching me, I don’t want to keep yawning at you. Long week.” Now more than ever she wished she didn’t have to sleep, that she and Edward could keep at this for hours and hours, never tiring.

He hummed in agreement, kissing the bridge of her nose and then her forehead again.

“Can I take you out tomorrow night? When we both have had a chance…to process.” Edward was still hesitant regarding his story and the Volturi, seemingly convinced he would be the deserving object of Leah’s hate.

Leah would have to admit out loud at some point that she was feeling the exact opposite. That she could never hate him, even if she wanted to. And she would never want to.

She nodded a yes against his chest, emotion constricting her throat as she clung to him. Didn’t he understand that she never wanted to let him go?

Leah remembered she could express some of her thoughts and feelings towards Edward if she was aggressive enough. His mind would pick up on them if she threw them in his path. ‘Projectiles’ he had called them.

Careful so as to not overwhelm him, she pushed forward the way she had felt when he had kissed her, the erotic sensation of his lips sliding over her tongue.

I never want to stop, she mentally communicated, shoving the message towards him with all of her might.

Edward didn’t say anything, but she felt his arms tighten around her as he kissed the top of her head.

“Me neither,” he whispered against her hair. Leah closed her eyes and let him hold her for a few more moments before they began their journey home.


 

Notes:

I know it’s been a while, but thank you for still reading! Let me know what you think with a review.

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Notes:

A/N: DATE NIGHT! You ever write a chapter where you had a pretty solid vision but then something or someone takes the reins and it turns out completely different than you expected? That’s what happened here. Edward and Leah took the reins and I was just the poor sap channeling them through the laptop. Before we begin, just going to unequivocally state there is NO Bella in this fic. Charlie Swan died a sad, childless bachelor per Chapter 1, poor guy. Also, this chapter starts to really earn the M rating for this story, be forewarned. Own nothing but my own writing. Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 


Say I wouldn't care if you walked away
But every time you're there I'm begging you to stay
When you come close, I just tremble
And every time, every time you go
It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul

Only love, only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this

- Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith

 

 

 

Leah was giggling, actually fucking giggling as she nudged a shoulder into Edward’s on their walk up to The Pearl, a new mixology bar in the heart of Port Angeles. He had given her flowers the night before, and Leah had begged him not to buy another bouquet. She had already gotten enough questions from Sue when she had put them in water that morning. Instead, she asked him to tell her something random  about himself she didn’t yet know. After they had parked Edward’s car, he finished telling her a story about how he had been kept in a police holding cell overnight in the early 80s. Apparently, the punk scene in the UK had been just as rowdy as any movie portrayed it to be and Edward had been arrested for trespassing during a late night show in an abandoned factory in Liverpool. The truth was he had stayed behind to ensure some of his human acquaintances had the opportunity to escape, and distracted police to guarantee their safety. Some of those people had been British Indian and African, children of immigrants, and there was no telling what an encounter with the police would have wrought.

“So what, you stayed in the cell all night? Why didn’t you just leave?” Leah could easily imagine a bored Edward popping off the lock to his cell, removing the door from its hinges, and then lazily meandering out of the station, into the night.

Edward shrugged as he opened the plate glass door to the noisy bar for her. “Was easier for me to cooperate. If they tried using their batons on me, they would’ve been suspicious as to why they kept breaking. They kept their attention on me, my friends got out, and I was ducked into a police car. I was processed and they left me alone in a solitary cell. I made them nervous. They gave up trying to keep guard over me when I didn’t sleep a wink and kept staring at the night shift sergeant. He got up pretty quickly after that and allowed me my phone call. I think he was hoping I would just escape somehow, without him ever having to interact with me again. Anyway, Emmett was living close by with Rosalie at the time, and he came and bailed me out a few hours later. He thought it was hilarious and decided to leave me stewing for a little while. We moved back to the states not long after that.”

Leah snorted. “So there’s a warrant or something out for your arrest if ever try to go back? Like, does Interpol have you on a no-fly list?”

“No, definitely not. Carlisle takes care of any…issues that might arise. And I doubt there’s any warrant. Like I said, I made them very nervous. I think they were glad to have me gone.”

“Can you blame them? Who wants to look at that all day? I mean, ugh.” Meanwhile Leah’s imprinted self panted that she wanted look at all of him, especially without his clothes on.

Edward grinned as he took her by the waist, leading them up to a sleek, polished teak wood bar spanning the whole front wall of the establishment. Low top tables filled the front well of the space, but Edward and Leah sat on two upholstered stools placed at the middle of the counter. It was a great vantage point for anyone who may have had any difficulty ascertaining they were together. It was their declaration to this crowd of strangers in Port Angeles.

Baby steps, Leah thought.  

The bar held a sophisticated Polynesian motif. Touches of palm and gilded flowers covered the walls while strategically placed potted monstera and palm plants dotted the floor. Metallic, rose gold models of fruit - pineapples and mangoes and pomegranates - were laid at intervals along the counter, holding unobtrusive tea light candles. And for some inexplicable reason, an embellished vase full of fake ostrich feathers decorated a console table on the side wall, set under a giant mercury glass mirror. The suffused, ambient lighting gave every aspect of the bar a magical quality, like the night was full of possibilities. It certainly made Leah bite her lip as she caught the candlelight glinting off Edward’s face, so hauntingly beautiful when he was half in darkness. She made herself look away. Her plans would have to wait until after she imbibed some liquid courage. Despite everything that passed between them, Leah wasn’t used to being so overt in asking for what she wanted. Only he could make her this way.

A male bartender came up and provided glasses of water and napkins, moving along quickly to give them a few minutes to look over the menu. But not before side eyeing Edward with a flicker of desire.

Leah could honestly not blame him. With Edward in dark gray slacks and a fitted dark chambray button down, she wanted to climb all over him, too.

Not that she looked half bad tonight, either. She had paired a lightweight, low-cut floral minidress, with heeled black Chelsea boots and a leather jacket. Sue had given her a low whistle when she left the house that night, asking her if she had a hot date, and Leah made up an excuse about meeting Angela and Ben for dinner. Seth had covered his face and mockingly cried out “My eyes, my eyes. I need to wash them with bleach” before Leah smacked him upside the head and he ran off cackling outside to meet some friends.

The dress was a little more revealing than what she usually wore, but Leah wasn’t self-conscious this time around. Not with what she was trying to accomplish.

 Edward’s fleeting glances at her C-cup cleavage hadn’t gone unnoticed. In fact, he was looking at her chest openly, right now. With anyone but him, she would have immediately covered up.

Leah cleared her throat. “Ahem.”

Edward peered up at her, a sexy smirk settling on his face. The man was not ashamed of being caught, at all. Not with her.

Since that first kiss, their emotions had tumbled wildly and Leah felt as if they were ready to explode with all they had learned of each other: Through their conversations - and otherwise. Now that Edward had unburdened himself, and Leah felt closer to him than ever before, the tensions between them changed from words unsaid to impulses not acted upon.

The kissing was wonderful and so incredibly satisfying, but…

She loved him. And she wanted him. Bad. And nothing was stopping her tonight, short of Edward not being on the same page.

And the way things were going, he very much was.

“So, what are we drinking?” Edward propped open a parchment menu, as if he hadn’t been blatantly ogling her a few seconds before.

“Well, I’m getting an outrageously expensive cocktail in a gigantic glass. Something preferably with rum and lime and ginger,” Leah stated, laying out her requirements.

“I see.” Edward furrowed his eyebrows as he perused the list. “There’s a drink called The Cure that combines a Moscow mule with rum.”

“That actually sounds great. I want that.”

“Done.” Edward slapped the menu back on the bar. “Where were we?” He turned in his stool to face her, his knees now knocking against her hip. His hand went up to the junction of her neck and shoulder, massaging there lightly with his fingers. Leah’s eyes almost rolled back into her head.

“Not so fast.” Leah gained enough presence of mind to shrug him off. “You need a drink, too.”

Edward frowned. “I do have one. It’s called water.” He lifted his glass and pretended to take a sip. Only Leah was close enough to see he hadn’t let a drop pass his lips.

“You can do better than that.” Leah opened the menu, finding a small list of mocktails on the far page. “You’re getting something called a Designated Driver. It has aloe juice in it,” Leah stated with enthusiasm.

Edward gave her a baleful look. “Well, then, that’s a waste of aloe juice.”

“I’ll take a few sips.” Leah winked at him. The bartender came back and took their order, gave a snort of surprise when Edward ordered the mocktail and then composed himself, letting them know he’d deliver their drinks shortly.

Edward leaned back and assessed Leah after he left.

Leah stared back. “What?” she asked.

“Is this some kind of role-playing thing?”

Leah had been taking a sip of water and almost choked on it.

“I’m sorry, what?” she sputtered out.

Edward didn’t let up. “You’re getting me a drink, a non-alcoholic drink like I am an actual designated driver. Like I’m your live-in boyfriend who leaves his wet towels on the floor. I feel like you’re getting a kick out of it.” Edward didn’t seem offended or put off. Quite the opposite, he seemed more curious over her actions, as if he was teasing out her motivations.

“Please, old man, what do you know about role-playing?” Leah covered her shock with a laugh and distracted herself with her glass of water, not wanting to admit she had done exactly that to get a little bit of a rise out of him.

Edward scoffed, his eyes wide. “Who are you calling old? You’ve got about six human years on me.”

“And you’ve got about ninety-five vampire years on me,” Leah countered.

“Touché.” Edward chuckled but then he lowered his voice. “And I know plenty about role playing. I’ve played human a long time. And I think you like that.”

Leah’s heartbeat fell out of rhythm at his words. The bartender came back with their drinks, threw another appreciative glance at Edward, and then left. Leah busied herself with the bamboo straw in hers, swirling the liquid inside.

“I think you like me moving through the world so easily, with only you knowing the truth.” Leah’s cheeks flushed, and she looked down, focusing on the clinking of ice cubes and playing with her lime garnish. Whatever she had expected Edward to say, it certainly wasn’t this. His mood was light years away from his heartfelt contrition the night before.

She cleared her throat again and looked directly at Edward’s face. His eyes were the light amber color of the day he had pulled her out from the creek. He had told her during one of their discussions that it was a physiological change that occurred when he hunted and fed. When his vampiric hunger was sated.

Which likely left room for other kinds of hunger.

She decided to own up to it.

“Yeah. I like it when you pretend. With others, though. Not with me. I like it when you show yourself to me. When you’re not so in control.” She thought of his unrestrained kiss, his hands on her body and immediately became aroused.

Edward leaned closer and his eyes flashed with interest. “Okay, then.” But instead of reaching over to cup her face, like Leah was certain he was about to do, he dropped his arm and picked his drink up, raising it in front of her. “Cheers, Lee. To showing each other our true selves.”

Leah clinked his glass with hers. “Cheers to that,” she echoed softly, making heavy, sustained eye contact as she took a long sip. Edward dropped his eyes to her lips, down her body, and all the way back up again, lingering on the exposed skin of her legs and her chest. He planted a hand on her knee. To anyone watching, it may have seemed like a reassuring or comforting gesture.

Leah knew that it was a promise, his grasping hand smoothing over her skin.

Easy, girl. You’re in a bar full of strangers.

But just as she was about to suggest they leave, Edward removed his hand with a satisfied smile and pretended to take a gulp of his mocktail.

Leah gave him an annoyed glare and then a wicked idea entered her mind. She almost chortled in glee at the thought of asking Edward. Likely because she was seventy five percent sure he would go along with it.

She bit the inside of her cheek and tugged her stool towards Edward. He opened his legs slightly to allow room for her bent knees as she moved in closer. He smiled confidently, so sure of himself that his hands were back on her, this time on her lower thighs. He stroked the skin there.  

“Yes, can I help you?” he asked pleasantly.

Leah was certain half the bar was intrigued by their show, sneaking peeks during their conversations at Edward and Leah’s proximity to each other. They were very close.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do. To try. Only if you’re open to it, of course.” She glanced up at him through her lashes. Edward’s expression immediately transformed at her words, schooling itself to not give away anything. What she just said had obviously affected him in a very real way.

Ha, two can play at this game.

“What’s that…the thing…what’s the thing you want to try?” Edward attempted to ask, faltering as the strain of keeping his cool flowed into his voice.

Leah bit her bottom lip. His gaze flicked to her mouth and then back up to her.

“I’m not sure I should say.”

“Oh, I think you definitely should,” Edward huskily urged, more eager now. His hand moved further up her thigh, and despite Leah’s performance, she found herself unbelievably turned on.

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, Lee.” Edward caught her cheek with hand and gently brought her face closer to his. The din of the bar faded to the background and Leah almost gave up the ruse. She would kiss Edward here and now. “You can tell me anything. I would do…anything for you.”

Leah gulped silently. She felt the powerful honesty behind his words. This was becoming heavier than she had planned. She almost felt badly about taking advantage of Edward’s sincerity.

Almost.

“I’ve had this fantasy for a long time,” she whispered, brushing her thumb against his bottom lip. His mouth parted. “I’ve always really wanted to…”

“Mhm, go on,” Edward breathed out encouragingly.

“To throw a drink in a guy’s face.” Leah kept a straight face as she died inside. She took particular pleasure in Edward’s bewilderment as he straightened up, his face like a stone.

“Excuse me, I’m not sure I heard you correctly,” he forced out.

“That’s right.” Leah took an unassuming sip of her drink, as if it were the most natural request in the world. “It always looks so fun when people in movies or soap operas do it, I just really feel like I need the full experience to appreciate it.”

Edward studied her for a full minute before shaking his head resignedly and chuckling.

“I’m constantly caught off guard by the things you say. You are truly one of a kind,” he begrudgingly allowed. He scrubbed his hands down his face and back up through his hair, as if to wash away his prior expectations.

“Likewise, my vampire friend,” Leah replied cheerily.

“Oh, no, that’s crossing my boundary,” Edward admonished, shaking his head. Leah raised her eyebrows, surprised at his reaction. She didn’t think it was that controversial. “You can do your drink throwing, but on one condition. You never, ever again call me a friend.”

Leah rolled her lips together to keep from laughing. He was genuinely offended by that, of all things. Not the fact that she was about to fling a mocktail straight at his face.

“We’re not friends? I thought you wanted that.” she asked innocently, remembering their conversation in his room.

Edward’s hand circled her upper arm and pulled her forward slowly, as if he was confiding in her.

‘Friends don’t do what we do. Friends don’t feel the things I feel about you. That you feel for me. We are most definitely not friends,” he stated gravely. The look on his face was beyond serious and Leah didn’t have it in her to tease him anymore.

“Agreed,” she simply replied.

“Good, now that’s clear,” He adjusted the collar of his shirt and sat ramrod straight, his hands relaxingly clasped between his knees. Leah sat still, stricken at how amenable he was.

Edward threw his hands out, gesturing towards her. “Well, what are you waiting for. This is your chance! Throw your rum hangover drink at me.”

Leah came back to life, moving her glass back to the bar and shaking her head.

“No, no, I like my drink and it’s almost done.” She plucked up Edward’s full glass and smiled wickedly. “I want to use yours.”

“Even better,” Edward deadpanned. “I didn’t want it in the first place.”

Leah reared her hand back, the drink sloshing a bit as she paused for dramatic effect. “Last chance, any regrets before I do the damn thing?”

Edward eyed her skeptically, struggling to not allow a grin of his own to break out onto his face. “My only regret is that I didn’t come back to Forks sooner, Leah Clearwater. You unpredictable maniac.”

“Ahh, well plenty of time to make up for that, Edward Cullen. You goodie fucking two shoes. Here we go!” Leah swung her arm forward and a resounding splash sounded as the drink hit Edward squarely in the face. She guffawed out a “holy shit” as she took in his unblinking expression, liquid dripping off his jaw and chin and spreading wet stains onto his otherwise immaculate shirt. Ice cubes bounced off his body and plinked down to the floor. The entire bar went silent, the background chatter halting at her actions. The only sound was the indie electronica music blaring through the bar speakers.

Leah quickly realized she needed a cover for her drink throwing, knowing “my boyfriend said it was okay” wouldn’t cut it.

“Oh…oh…I can’t believe you called my mom old! You…you jerk,” she yelled unconvincingly, her tone forced and monotone.

Edward appraised her then rolled his eyes as he looked away.

“Oh, what was I thinking, calling your mom old,” he supplied in a bored, equally unconvincing tone as he played along, slicking back wet strands of his hair off his forehead.

Leah stood up abruptly, giving her performance a little more juice. “To think I was going to let you get lucky tonight. Well, no chance buddy. I’m leaving.” She hmphed as Edward stared back at her, wide eyed as his mouth fell open. She marched out the door without stopping to take in the stares of the other patrons, thrilled that she had gotten away with doing something so disruptive.

Without any real harm, of course.

She heard the bartender ask Edward in hushed tones if he was alright as he handed him a towel. When Edward’s silvery voice assured him he was fine, Leah almost lost it.

She made it a few feet out the door before gasping out a laugh, and then she couldn’t stop. She doubled over in hysteria, tears leaking from her eyes, even as she heard the door open and felt solid marble hands grab her around her waist and drag her forward.

“Let’s go, Meryl Streep. You’ve had your fun for the night.” A fresh wave of laughter overcame Leah as Edward walked them forward, to the edge of the boardwalk that rimmed the main avenue. Water from the Sound sloshed against the wooden posts holding up the walk and onyx waves glinted under the moonlight. Edward held her under one of the lampposts flanking the perimeter as she finished her giggling. She took his hand in hers and swung it playfully. She could only guess what the other bargoers were thinking, when they observed Edward hauling Leah away in stiches after that scene.

“That was just as fun as it looks. You can’t deny that made our night a little more interesting,” she shot at him giddily. For the first time in days, she felt completely weightless. No Sam and the pack, no supernatural politics, no Volturi…no Tanya. There was no place for them on a night like this. She was completely herself and uncaring about anything but the man in front of her.

Edward narrowed his eyes. “I’m a little upset I’m – what did you say – not getting lucky tonight. I did everything you asked of me. Not to mention the aloe juice is very sticky” he murmured in distaste.  

“Yeah well, them’s the breaks.” Leah grinned and closed the distance between them, placing a hand on his chest. He smelled a bit like musty limes and his shirt was sticky, but Leah wanted to lick him from head to toe. She could help him get very lucky indeed, if he wanted. She was counting on it.

But then she looked up and caught Edward’s face peering back into hers with such deep concentration that her legs almost gave out. To have Edward’s full, undivided attention on her was something to behold, and she found herself struggling to breathe. This time from pure adrenaline.

“Stop trying to read my mind,” she whispered to him.

“I’m not. You’re just very, very easy to talk to,” he stated, the seriousness on his face contrasting with his statement.

She reached up and clasped his face between both her palms. He allowed her to direct his head down.

“I really, really, really like your face. More than any other face I’ve ever seen.” Leah wasn’t even tipsy but she could blame the imprint for making her a love drunk fool.

Edward smirked. “Is that all you like?” His question was humorous on its face, but she detected something else behind it. Something hesitant and unsure, like he needed more from her.  

It caught her off guard. She hadn’t meant it like that. Edward was so much more than his face, and his body, and his physical presence. She had to make him understand that she saw him. All of him.

She shook her head violently. “No, that’s not all. Not even close. You’re seriously one of the best fucking people I’ve ever known. You’re so damn good. And kind. And you use your abilities to protect everyone. You keep your promises. And your parents are amazing, so by default, you’re amazing because you love them so much. And, hell, you work as a doctor in a shitty ER when you could be living it up in a penthouse somewhere. You fucking care. That matters.” Leah’s voice almost broke and she felt Edward’s arms embrace her, his mouth kissing her ear. She continued rambling, releasing all her pent-up admiration. “And you tell the best stories. And I just threw a drink in your face for no reason.” Edward softly chuckled. “So that just makes me a giant bitch,” she finished lamely.

Edward tsked at her. “You are the strongest, most wildly endearing and clever person I’ve ever had the luck of encountering. I love everything about you. And that doesn’t even include how much I also really, really, really like your face,” he whispered in her ear. Leah blushed. “And I meant it when I said anything, Lee. Even if your drink ends up all over me.”

“It was your drink,” Leah corrected.

Edward shook his head. “Of course, how could I forget.”

Leah tilted her face up again, taking in the honesty in his eyes, the openness of his smile. She couldn’t convey how secure she felt with him at this moment. She was ready to say it. So ready.

“I lo-,” she started.

“Yo, Leah!” Leah spun around at hearing her name and almost fell back into Edward when she saw who was approaching them. Edward steadied her with his hands at her hips, preventing her from tipping over.

“Wow, I thought that was you. You…oh, hey, dude.” Leah’s new ‘friend’ Miguel from Tisane stopped short in front of them, taking in the looming figure of Edward as he held Leah. Leah could barely believe they were both existing in the same space: Edward and the guy who made her realize she couldn’t be with anyone but Edward. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” Miguel finished awkwardly.  

“Miguel,” Leah sputtered out. “Hi Miguel.” She rotated her neck to look at Edward. “Look, it’s Miguel,” she repeated.

Edward nodded his head as he raised his eyebrows in question. The man had no clue what the ever loving hell she was going on about. In all their talking, Leah had failed to mention the series of events that led her to the Cullen house that rainy evening. That drove her to accept her imprint.

“Yeah, hi again. As Leah said a few times, I’m Miguel.” He gave them a short wave and laughed uncomfortably. Leah shifted in Edward’s arms.

“Yes,” Leah laughed out, a little too loudly for the situation. “What are the odds! First in Forks, now Port Angeles. Oh no, are you stalking me?” she asked jokingly. She waved her hands in front of her as if pretending to fend him off.

“Oooo, watch out. I’m following you! I mean, when you look like that, how could I not?” Miguel joked back with faux menace in his tone. He cleared his throat and straightened up quickly, though, after one look at Edward. “No, seriously, I live and work here. Was just out to dinner.”

“Yeah of course, of course, I was joking too…if that wasn’t clear,”

“Yeah I know, it’s fine, all good. All good.”

“Yup, all gooooood.”

The silence grew between all three of them, and Leah’s eyes darted all over the place before Edward ran his hand down her arm, relaxing her a little. She realized she was being rude.

She cleared her throat. “Uh Miguel…this is my…uhhh…,”

What? Soul mate? Imprint? Vampire man I’m bound to for eternity?....Boyfriend? Ugh, I hate boyfriend.

Her imprinted self casually noted that they would want to call him husband at some point.

Ugh, ugh, ugh, stop. We don’t need to get married to be together.  

“My Edward. This is my Edward,” she finally spit out.

For fuck’s sake, how are you this awkward, Clearwater???

“Oh…cool,” Miguel replied uncertainly. Leah felt the vibration of held in laughter against her back.

“Yes, I’m her Edward,” her jerk of an imprint smoothly recovered for her, humor in his voice. He reached around Leah to shake Miguel’s hand politely. “It’s nice to meet you. Miguel, was it?”

Miguel gave that a genuine laugh and shook Edward’s hand back. If he noticed how hard and freezing it was, he didn’t give anything away to the eye. Though Leah observed him shoving his hand right back into pants pocket.

“Ha, sorry. You just caught me by surprise. How are you?” Leah asked, trying to push through the awkwardness.

“Good, good. Don’t want to take up too much of your time. Just saying hey.” Peering over Leah’s head, he appraised Edward again, taking him all in. “And yeah, I completely understand why you left that day if you’ve got this guy waiting for you. No offense taken, at all. I mean, damn, are you like royalty or something? You look like a prince! Or at the least a male model,” he finished, unable to fully process Edward’s entire being.

Leah almost snorted and she felt Edward shift in embarrassment.

Good, now he knows how it feels.

“Uh, no.”

“He’s a doctor,” Leah butted in, taking pity on Edward. “Although we should really look into the royalty thing for you…or at least the male modeling. I could be your agent,” she offered enthusiastically, jabbing her elbow in Edward’s ribs. “How would you like that? Great plan, right?”

“How thoughtful,” Edward dryly replied. She could feel his glare behind her.          

“And he’s a doctor? Well, I really didn’t stand a chance did I,” Miguel muttered to himself.

“When and where did you two meet?” Edward asked casually. Only Leah could pick up on the hint of possessiveness that belied his inquiry.

“At Tisane, like a month ago. We had a quick conversation while Angela was playing darts,” Leah hurriedly clarified. This was getting to be less fun.

Miguel frowned. “More like the Wednesday before last. I remember because you hightailed it out of there and your friends thought I murdered you when they couldn’t find you.”

“Shit, sorry,” Leah mumbled. Had it really been that recent? So much had happened since then.

Miguel waved away her apology. He truly was easygoing.

“Hmm, it was raining that night if I remember correctly?” Edward commented. Leah could tell his interest was peaked.  

Miguel whistled. “Like cats and dogs. I waited it out in the lot before driving home. The weather here sucks.”

“It certainly does. One should try to find cover on nights like that. Not get drenched while running through the forest,” Edward advised.

“Yeah man, the forest, sure,” Miguel replied uneasily. “I try and stay the hell out of the forest if I can help it, though.” Leah knew that comment wasn’t meant for Miguel, though.

She felt her body heat rise as she heard the knowing hint in Edward’s words. He realized she had run straight to him, in the pouring rain that same night. She was his, and his alone.

I’m yours, she mentally pushed towards Edward, unabashedly.

Edward caressed the same elbow she had jabbed him with, ran his fingers up her arm and wove them into hers. Leah leaned back into him.

Miguel noticed the shift in the atmosphere, the slide of Edward’s hand, and decided to make himself scarce.

“Okay, I really am interrupting, now. You two lovebirds have a great night. Leah great seeing you again. Edward, it’s been…an experience.” Miguel walked backwards a few steps, stumbling as he turned. He walked off without another word.  

“Bye, Miguel,” Leah called after him. She liked the guy and hoped they could maybe be friends someday. Whenever Miguel recovered from meeting Edward, that is.

She felt a rumble of laughter as Edward let loose and she spun quickly in his arms.

“What?” She sounded so immature as she pushed her fist against his chest. “Please stop, it’s not funny,” she begged.

Edward let go of her, putting his hands up. “I beg to differ. You are good at many things Lee, but introductions are not one of them. That was painful to watch.” He continued chortling. Now was his turn for some fun.

“It’s Leah,” Leah grumbled back.

“Well, Leah. I can see why you haven’t mentioned me to the pack or your family yet. Watching that, I’d be surprised if you didn’t faint from the effort while trying to do it.” He closed in on her again, his snarky half smile firmly in place.

Shit.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” she said resignedly, rationalizing her inaction. She really didn’t have much of a leg to stand on there.

I just don’t want to deal with the inevitable shit show of people not understanding this. And you. And me.

“I know,” Edward replied gently, running a finger across her top lip. ‘We’ll get there.”

Leah fell forward, hiding her face.

“Aww, have I upset you? Our first outing has led to a few unexpected turns. Shall we go home?” he asked conversationally, bringing her out of her thoughts.

All her issues would come later. Edward was here now, in the present.

All the flirting and joking and heated looks had built the tension between them to an impossible point, and Leah would be damned if she was the reason they cut their night short.

Get it together, Clearwater.

“No way,” she said, leaving no room for interpretation. “If you don’t take me back to the car, right now, I’m going to tell Esme she obviously didn’t raise you right.”

Edward stared at her in amazement. “Really, the car? Are you sure?” he asked seriously. Leah could see he was also all business, his need matching hers.

“That’s what I said,” she confirmed. She reached up and gave him a searing kiss, one she felt straight down to her…

“Get a room!” an obnoxious passerby hollered. He wolf whistled in their direction.

“We’re planning on it, fuck you very much!” Leah shouted back, slightly muffled by Edward’s mouth.

More like a backseat than a room. But, whatever.

 Edward ignored them both and his mouth chased hers, his lips catching the corner of her mouth. She thought she would black out from desire.

Unghh, I’m gonna die here. I’m gonna die and never see Edward naked.

He finally broke from her, a growl building in his chest.

She tugged on his hand.

“Come on, let’s go,” she urged.

Edward gripped her waist and rushed them forward, barely keeping his speed in check.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”






“Oh, ow,” Leah bit out. She was attempting to crawl into Edward’s lap in the backseat of his Tesla and had accidentally banged her knee against a seatbelt buckle.

When they had reached their parking space, it was clear neither of them could contain themselves longer than a few minutes. So, Edward had steered the car away from the garage at a breakneck pace; Leah’s stomach flipped erratically at the speed. He swerved into a spacious abandoned lot a mile away from downtown by the docks, after detecting no humans or anyone otherwise in the area. Normally, Leah would have found the empty buildings surrounding them with their blank, eye socket windows creepy as hell. But she was too busy trying to join Edward. He casually folded himself in the center back as she ripped at her safety belt twice in the passenger seat until it finally gave way. She scrambled over the gear shift, hating that Edward had a head start.  

“Are you alright,” he asked distractedly. He was already tugging her jacket off her frame with liquid ease and tossing it into the front. He lifted her over his lap with no effort, her bent legs now straddling his longer ones.

She sat fully onto him, her pelvis grinding into his.

He groaned and his hands went to her thighs, rubbing up them aggressively, and lifting the hem of her dress almost to her hips.

“Fine. Totally fine. Ignore me, don’t stop what you’re doing,” Leah breathed out, hot and ragged.

“You’re impossible to ignore,” he whispered, his voice gravelly and full of desire, as he smashed her mouth to his. He forcefully cupped the back of her neck as their tongues slicked wildly against one another.

“Aahhh,” Leah moaned pathetically into their kiss. She couldn’t bring herself to care that she was making a complete fool of herself.

Edward hands moved to her waist, flipping the skirt of her dress even higher as they rounded her body and landed on her ass. He squeezed her, hard. She lifted herself onto her knees, so he could get a better grip and he massaged her there, not letting up as his mouth moved and he licked the hollow of her throat.

“So warm,” he ground out. “So much heat, especially here.” His fingers reached under her ass and grazed the strip of lace covering her crotch. Leah convulsed.  

Given her preternatural heat, she was sure it was amplifying the scent of her arousal. Maybe filling the entire space of his car, making them both dizzy with lust. It mixed with Edward’s sweet alcohol and cedar smell, virtually suffocating her.

Edward moved confidently, no hesitation from his earlier revelations or painful histories informing his body. He was speaking through his hands, his kiss, giving her everything he could; including a more aggressive, deliberate touch that turned Leah on more than it should.

He paid attention to her reactions, investigating her lacy white underwear even further.

“This is nice,” he observed, his tone as dangerously intense as it was that afternoon in his room, when he had flipped her onto her back on his bed. The measured control with which he plucked at the waistband indicated he was planning on torturing her in the best way possible. “Did you wear this for me?”

Well, I certainly didn’t wear it for myself, my good man. It’s scratchy as hell, she wanted to say.

But then Edward pushed the fabric covering her to the side, and his fingers were running through a strip of her pubic hair, and then along her slit. The chill of his skin on her overheated center was beyond anything she had ever felt in her life. It grounded her in this moment; brought her in touch with every single one of her senses.    

“Guh,” was all she could manage.

She knew she was wet, to an embarrassing degree, and Edward seemed intrigued by this. He dipped his fingers through and around her lower lips, spreading her wetness.

“I guess this is for me, too,” he whispered hotly, and Leah was sure she was dead. There was no way Edward Cullen was plying her with dirty talk while fingering her.

She remembered the thoughtful, kind man who stitched her hand in the hospital. The one who had texted her all night when she had a bad dream.

And then she recollected the look on his face when he mashed her chest to his when she was in heat and when he had groped her last night. And the way he had openly undressed her with his eyes tonight.

There was an instinctive, animalistic quality to his seduction and Leah couldn’t have wanted it any other way. Decades of being a vampire had obviously honed his skills, and Edward knew what he liked. She undoubtedly liked it, too. And she had the added benefit of wanting him so much, it physically hurt.

He could be sweet and tender and affectionate. And he could be raw and powerful and commanding.

Leah liked having the option of both.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me, Lee,” he urged calmly.

Oh, this is hotter than it has any right being,

 Leah anchored her hands on his shoulders, attempting to get a grip.

“I want you to uhh…” She paused and almost whined when he sloppily kissed a line across her cleavage. “Ohhhh, that feels good.”

“What feels good? Tell me,” he pushed again, rubbing her lazily down there with his fingers. His thumb found her clitoris and flicked it a few times, causing her to gush out a little more.

“I want your fingers inside me,” Leah finally chewed out, trying not to bite her tongue off.

He took one finger and teased her opening, inserting it with painful slowness and Leah met him the rest of the way, grinding decisively down onto his hand.

Edward’s eyes popped wide as she rocked forward.

“More, Edward, please. You’re killing me,” she faintly cried out. She needed more of him in her.

Who are you right now? You’ve never talked this much with a man’s hand inside you in your life!

She ignored the voice in her head.

“Okay, if it’s killing you. I had no actual idea…,” he murmured in amazement.  He didn’t finish his sentence but pushed in his middle finger to join his forefinger, stretching her in a way that made her shudder with pleasure. He changed the angle of his fingers to allow his thumb to move faster around her clit.

She rode his hand freely, lifting her gaze to the ceiling of the car. If she glanced down at him, she was sure she would fall apart. And she didn’t want this to be over yet.  

“What else, Lee,” he commanded, his voice like a shredded livewire as he lost a layer of control. She could feel him slipping, feel him falling down with her as she moved more rapidly on his hand.  He continued pushing his fingers up into her as she rose and fell.

Leah didn’t say anything but grabbed the shoulder of her dress and pulled it down.

“Sorry,” she gasped, moving down the black strap of her bra and attempting to fold the cup down. “My bra doesn’t match my underwear.” She didn’t know why she was apologizing; she just knew that she didn’t want him to stop.

“Like I would ever care,” he growled out. He gently pushed away her hand and pulled at the front her dress without ripping it, revealing the cup of her bra. It easily folded down without her dress restricting it and then Edward held the weight of her bare breast in his hand. On her forward rocking motion, Edward leaned closer and pressed his mouth to her. He roughly kissed all over her breast, the top and underside before licking the peak with the full length of his tongue.

“Oh, fuck,” Leah swore under her breath. The combination of the pressure building inside of her with the movement of his fingers, and the sensation of his cool, wet mouth on her chest was bringing her to the brink of breaking completely.

The only thing that would make this as explosive as she knew it could be, would be to get her mouth on him. Leah considered it and succumbed to what felt natural to her.

 She inexplicably brought her face to the side of his neck and laid her tongue flat against the slope of it. She lapped at him like a woman possessed, roughly licking it from top to bottom; repeating the action when she reached his jaw.

Edward’s deft fingers sped up, her mouth spurring him on.

“Keep doing that, keep your mouth on me,” he panted. “I want to feel all of you.”

 Leah continued to lick at him and rock against him and he brought his mouth back to her breast.

That did it. The world fell out from under her. The electric shock of her orgasm spread like violent ripples in a pond, out towards her limbs and face, and she felt her back arch. She clamped hard down on Edward’s fingers and he slowed down, Leah’s now lethargic hips rolling to a stop as she squeezed him. She moaned shamelessly as she rode it out, lightbulbs shattering behind her eyelids. Her abdominal muscles spasmed twice and she slumped against his shoulder, breathing harder than she thought was possibly natural.

After a moment, Edward lifted her slightly to remove his fingers, laid his hands on her back, and smoothed down the hem of her dress. Her pulled up her bra and slid her sleeve back up, kissing her repeatedly on her shoulder.

“Edward,” Leah mumbled, her voice insubstantial and wispy. She wasn’t even sure where she was anymore, not until she caught sight of the inside door handle of the Tesla.

Edward Cullen just made you come in the back of his car. Not something you ever thought you would say to yourself, huh?

He gathered her closer to him, hugging her to his chest as she recovered.

“Yes, beautiful.” He kissed the shell of her ear and Leah was overcome with the peculiar urge to cry. He was being so loving, it made her chest ache.

“Edward,” she repeated, her head fuzzy, trying to parse out exactly what she wanted to say.

“Lee,” he whispered back, into her hair.

“I want…that…to you.” She stumbled over her words, her neural synapses completely misfiring.

But Edward got the gist.

“You don’t have to,” he murmured. “Stay in this moment with me.”

Her resolve hardened. She attempted to push herself up but fell back against him.

“No, no, no.” She shook her head. “I want to. Help me up.”

He lowered his body a little further down in the seat to allow her more leverage, and she lifted herself off  him.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly, watching her as she readjusted her dress

She looked him straight in the eye. He also seemed a little cloudy and her wolf instincts were picking up on something unnerving. The feel of their space shifted precariously, and Leah couldn’t isolate what suddenly felt off.

“Yes, I love -.” Leah froze a half a second before continuing. “I loved what you did. You were amazing.”

She knew what she was about to say and didn’t want to blurt it out during a post orgasmic haze. That felt disingenuous.

Edward waited a moment before uttering a low, “Okay.” Leah had the strangest sense memory of watching a caged animal. She saw the corded muscle on his neck stand out, as if he was bracing himself for something immense and uncontainable.

Leah carefully kneeled closer to him, not making any sudden movements for both their sakes. He seemed a little touchy, maybe even sensitive, and Leah didn’t want to startle him. She remembered his voice and his body when she felt him spinning down with her. He was on the edge of something.  

“Hey, relax,” she murmured softly, and kissed him faintly on his cheek. She moved her hand onto him, sweeping it lightly over his abdomen and then under his shirt. Lower and lower until she reached the button and fly of his pants. She slowly undid the button and he sighed, leaning his forehead on her shoulder. “It’s just me.”

She clocked Edward’s lips on her upper arm. He kissed her once. Twice.

“Touch me,” she felt him say, dark and inviting, his mouth open against her.

Leah delicately navigated the teeth of his zipper, pulling down the tab. She poised her hand to reach inside his boxers.

“I’m going to make this good, Edward. Just relax,” she whispered, rubbing her own thighs together in anticipation. A low growl percolated in his chest at her words.

Leah reached down gingerly and whatever she felt was pleasantly hard and smooth….and large.

But that was all she felt. A loud roar beat into her ears, and Leah fell backward on the leather seat.  In the blink of an eye, there was only air where Edward had been seated next to her, and she was alone. The back left door to the car was open wide on its hinges, the alert chime ringing softly.

Leah sat nonplussed, her hand hanging midair in front of her, not exactly sure what had just happened. Carefully, she made her way to the edge of the seat and dropped her legs outside the car.

When she stood, she noticed Edward about fifty feet away, hair wild as he ripped his fingers through it. He paced aggressively on the asphalt and Leah immediately crossed her arms in front of her chest, feeling so vulnerable she thought the wind coming off the docks would topple her.

What the fuck did you do, Leah?

Her inner voice was fuming.

Edward was disturbed, that much was clear. Everything in her wanted to go to him, to make him fold her into his arms and tell her he was just a little overwhelmed. That he made a slight error in judgment, and it would be alright.

 But she kept her distance. She sensed he needed her to keep her distance.  

She had to do what was best for him. The imprint decreed it. She would approach him by allowing him to come to her.

A plastic tarp rustled in the doorway of one of the half-constructed buildings bordering the lot, the wind making itself further known. Leah shivered at the sound.

After a few moments, Edward’s head abruptly snapped to attention, finally aware Leah was watching him from her position by the car.

“Edward,” she called out tentatively, her voice low and gentle. She knew he could hear her.

He stood still for a few seconds. In another instant, he was a blur and she saw he moved closer, only about ten feet away now.

She noted the pure anguish on his face.

“Did I hurt you,” he forced out. His panic was on the surface of his voice.  

“What? No!” Leah was beyond surprised. He had given her so much that evening, they had just been so close. How could she be hurt?

He looked unconvinced.

“I’m completely fine,” She held out her hands and rotated slowly so he could assess her at every angle. “See? Fine.”

He rubbed his hand against his forehead and muttered something to himself, at too low a volume for Leah to hear.

Leah decided to broach him again. “Edward, are you okay?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, what can I do to help? Did I do something?”

“Yes,” he laughed bitterly to the sky and threw up his hands in frustration. “Yes, you did something. You existed. And that’s enough.” At this distance, her enhanced senses could detect how dark his eyes were, how rigid his demeanor was. Every part of him was vibrating with tension.

Leah hugged herself closer, perplexed at his tone. It set her teeth on edge, and she felt her temper rise.

Edward’s not a cruel man, she reminded herself. She would get to the heart of this.

She prepared herself; transformed herself into an emotionless, unmoving statue. “Do you not want me right now, Edward? That’s okay. We don’t need to do anything. Just talk to me,” she stated clearly, determined to make this right. But even as she said it, the words hollowed her out from the inside. There was no way she could go back to being friends after he had touched her. But, Spirit help her, she would if that’s what he needed.

This stopped Edward in his tracks and his pacing ceased. He glared at her incredulously.

“Not want you?” he repeated in disbelief, the question like a knife scraping her skin. “Not want you?”

“Edward, I…,”

“I want you too much,” he hissed, his voice cutting the air. He wasn’t yelling, but his words were arrows in the dark. “Damn it, that’s the problem. You have no idea how much I want you,” he finished, the dangerous lilt at the end telling her everything she needed to know.

But Leah didn’t know what to say. She decided to allow Edward to open himself to her.  

“Do you know?” he seethed. “Do you know what every instinct of mine was screaming after you came all over my hand?

Leah shook her head no. But she had an idea.

“It was to take you. Take you right there and then. No warning. No preamble. I would’ve claimed you in the backseat of my damn car, made you mine. And if you resisted, I would’ve broken down your defenses. I would’ve used everything in my power to cajole you and bombard you with nonsense, just to get what I want. Maybe even try to read your mind. It wouldn’t have to be fast or quick, but eventually I would’ve gotten you there. Wanting it. Begging for it.”

Leah shook her head in denial even before he stopped talking. “No, no, you wouldn’t have. Sorry to tell you, you’re not as persuasive as you think. And I know what kind of person you are, you never would have forced anything on me.”

Edward laughed dismissively again. She hated it, the raw edge of it.

“You know the man, what about the vampire? Do you know how many humans I killed as a newborn, unable to control myself? And I can’t even use that excuse for the humans I killed after. The rest were just because I felt like it.” He shrugged.

Leah shook and held herself tighter. He was trying to push her away with the violence of his words.

“And I wouldn’t have needed to force you. You would’ve come to me on your own. I draw everyone in with this face, this body. It doesn’t matter that you’re a wolf. Your imprint probably makes you even more susceptible.” He waved her off.

“Don’t do that,” Leah bit out sharply. She had had enough of this. “Don’t tell me my choices aren’t my own.” Edward paused, his face falling. “I chose to give in. To stop torturing myself for someone I want. I stand by it. I don’t regret it. And you don’t get to diminish that choice.”

She took a deep breath.

“I went against everything I was taught, everything I believed to be true, and I gave in. It doesn’t make me weak, or susceptible. Because I know better now. I am giving you forever because you are the kind of person who is worth giving that to.” Edward squeezed his eyes closed, pain crowding his features. “You are.

“How do you not hate me right now?” he whispered harshly, his words echoing hers almost verbatim, from just a week ago.

Leah could have laughed over how similar they were.

“I could never hate you. You would never make me hate you, because you are always trying to do the right thing. And that’s enough for me.”

“Leah…,”

“Did it ever occur to you, that if you wanted me that much, that maybe I wanted you back? That it wasn’t manipulative, what you were doing? And I wasn’t agreeable just because of my imprint or your alleged charms? I have been holding myself back from you all night. All week. And when you told me to touch you, I was finally getting my chance. To make you feel good. To show you the way you made me feel.” Leah felt tears well up in her eyes, and pushed them back. No fucking way was she going to cry. “And you were maybe not ready, and that’s fine. I can wait. I can wait until the end of time. But know this, no one could ever make me feel that way, other than you. I don’t need to test it, I know it. You are it for me, Edward. I’m not looking or waiting on anyone else or going anywhere. You are it, for better or worse.”

Edward crouched low to the ground, covering his face.

“Was everything after a lie?” she urged more softly. “When you held me and kissed me after what we just did? Was that manipulation, or nonsense, or you just doing something to get what you want? It felt pretty damn real to me.”

“I wanted,” Edward emphasized, “to hold you. To feel you against me as you came down. To feel you on my neck, knowing I was the cause for your breathlessness. I was so damn proud of myself…” He shook his head as he tapered off.

“That’s not wrong.” Leah was determined to get her point through. “It’s not wrong to want to make me feel good, and in turn feel good about yourself. You say I’m your mate. Wouldn’t your mate want to give you the things you want? Wouldn’t they want you to want them back? As long as you’re not hurting anybody Edward, it’s okay to have needs and seek out relief from the one person who would understand them.”

“I could’ve hurt you,” he said dejectedly, through his hands now steepled over his mouth.

“How?” Leah cried out. She couldn’t fathom how. “I’m not human Edward, as much as I used to fucking detest that fact. I’m not breakable in that way. In fact, I’m pretty damn durable. You would have to go out of your way to actually hurt me or injure me in any way. We would have to be actually fighting for that to happen. And you don’t even want to drink my blood.” She sighed, suddenly so tired. “You said there was a natural threat inherent to my blood. You’re not going to accidentally kill me by draining me…”

“Just because I don’t want to drink your blood, doesn’t mean I won’t devour you,” Edward interrupted, darkness coating his words. “Mentally, emotionally…sexually.”

Leah’s heart stuttered.

“But you’ve had sex before. You’ve had another woman. You know what to expect, all the complicated feelings that come with it,” Leah slowly replied.

Edward slowly heaved himself up. “I had sex with a woman, a vampire, that I was not in love with. These intense, life altering feelings weren’t involved. And it’s true, I never hurt her, not in that way. And I may never hurt you physically.” His voice turned to ice. “But there are other ways to do harm.”

Leah’s soul cried out for this tortured man who was unwinding before her, thinking he was evil just because he wanted her more than he could ever express. He was selfless to a fault.

“I thought this part of me was dead. This self-loathing, constantly doubting, angry version of me was gone. I accepted you as my mate because I was ready to be that better person for you. To be everything you deserved. The actual joy that coursed through me when you admitted your imprint, I’ll never forget it, Lee. It was like the world opened up to me.”

Leah gave him a sad smile, her eyes closing at the emotion she felt.

“But tonight,” he emphasized fearfully. “All I could think is that I don’t want to be this possessive asshole. I don’t want to take advantage and restrict you and manipulate you. But this older, darker version of me doesn’t want to let you go. Ever. You’re already with me and you’ve given yourself to me, over and over again. I don’t want to keep taking and taking and taking, with my thoughts that you need to be mine. With my words and my uncanny face to lure you in.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re my mate. I am completely engrossed in your wellbeing and happiness. I value you above all else. I want the best for you. I want to leave you untouched from whatever the hell is corrupting me right now. You deserve better than this.”

“Fucking stop it!” Leah choked out. Edward stood ramrod straight, surprised by her tone. “You’re hurting me right now, Edward. You’re not even accounting for what I want, and it’s hurting me.”

Edward took a step in her direction, and she pointed a finger out at him.

“No, stay right there. And listen to every damn word I’m about to say!” The imprint bond curled immediately in protest, but she ignored it. Her skin was blazing with heat and her wolf senses pricked up dangerously. She was on the brink of hyperventilating, and she wasn’t sure she would not pass out.

Edward put his hands up in a disarming gesture, worry creasing his forehead. “Leah, breathe, please. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. But please, breathe.”

Leah swallowed some air. Then she gulped down more and felt her heartbeat slow. She moderated her breathing, inhaling deeply a few more times. She could do this. She could control herself.

“Don’t put me on some golden pedestal, Edward. You have no idea the things I’ve said or done.” Echoes of her conversation with Sam painfully reverberated in her head. “You’ve given me an impossible standard to live up to. I’m going to mess up with us, on a million different little things. I already have. But I would hope you would be there for me, like how I’m trying to be here for you now.”

“I will always be here for you,” he stated, perplexed.

“Fine, but you left me, just now. I know you needed space, but I needed reassurances after you took a little time. Not this. Not you running and saying you’re no good for me.”

Edward said nothing.

“Look, you may not like yourself very much right now. But let me tell you how it is for me.” She took another deep breath. “I was angry and lost and resentful for so long. Even after I started to heal, I was still treading water, not wanting to admit how much bitterness I held towards the pack and my former friends and even vampires in general.” Edward laughed, a hollow sound. “It took this imprint for me to break free of the surface and get back to dry land. I honestly thought for days that it was the other way around, that I was drowning. I hated what was happening to me, not to mention the impossible situation I was putting you through. I gave you a choice, to back away from me. To reject me. And you refused.”

The thought simultaneously pained and uplifted her.

“Just like I’m refusing this version of yourself you’ve built out to be so terrible in your mind. You’re not, Edward. The fact you’re so concerned about this darkness potentially rising, shows me you’re not. You brought me back to myself. I feel so safe with you. So respected and adored. So fucking free. No matter what you may think about yourself, I see you.” She paused. “We’re in this together. As mates. Or imprints. Whatever. Which means we’re partners. And partners don’t shield pieces of themselves from the other. They share them. I’ve never had to pretend with you, every emotion and feeling you got from me was real, even when I thought I was drowning.”

Edward was giving her an unfathomable look.

She continued. “And partners don’t destroy themselves or leave when they mess up. I may not have killed humans Edward, but it seems you’re doing a great job punishing yourself for something that you can’t change. Not to mention, you have actually changed, and no longer eat people. And you somehow work with blood without going crazy.”

Leah was once again secretly impressed with Edward and his parents.

“You get up. You do the work to help others and yourself. And you move on. And if there’s a next time, you do better.” Leah felt she should also be taking her own advice, but that was beside the point.

Edward was smiling ruefully now, taking her in.

“What?’ she sighed.

“Didn’t I say, you were the cleverest person I’ve ever met?”

She crossed her arms. “Hi, I’m Leah Clearwater. I’m pretty damn smart. I teach high school students how to code. My “boyfriend” is lucky to have me.”

“That he is.”

Leah crumpled with doubt as she saw Edward run his hand back over his face.

“Did you not hear everything I said tonight, Edward? About everything that makes you so important to me? Because it’s the truth.”

“I’m not sure I really did,” Edward admitted.

“I wish you could see yourself like I do,” she stated wistfully.

“And I wish I hadn’t caused you such distress, when you’ve given me one of the best nights I’ve ever had.”

He was remorseful. Leah appreciated it.   

“I’m okay. But can I at least come over there and drill into your head what an asshole you were to start our first fight after giving me a mind-blowing orgasm? Completely ruined my buzz.” Leah felt a little bad saying that. His control, or lack thereof, couldn’t have been an easy topic for him to discuss. And she was sure it would not be the last time. But she knew in her heart, she would not have said no. If he wanted her like she had wanted him, there were no tricks or manipulations involved. She would not have said no to him.

He had sensed that, truthfully. And it had scared him, how much of herself she wanted to give to him. That he couldn’t live up to all the sacrifices they were both making.

She would make it her mission to tell him, again and again, that he already was making it worth her trouble. Whenever he needed it.

The corner of his mouth lifted, and Edward opened his arms wordlessly. She couldn’t help but run and jump into them, excitedly swinging her own arms around him. She noticed how damp his shirt still was, but she kissed every inch of his face, smacking loudly.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for making me come so hard I’m pretty sure I landed in a past life.” He deserved to feel good about that.

After pretending to try and pull back from her, Edward burrowed his face into the crook of her neck.

“It was my pleasure.” She felt him grin against her skin.

“Yeah, mine too.” Leah kissed his temple.  

“I didn’t want to stop.”

“Me neither,” she replied, and caressed the back of his head.

Eventually she settled against him, the both of them contemplative.

“I just want to make this easier for you. I don’t want you to regret this, ever. Help me make this easier for you.” Edward pleaded, the wild energy finally draining from him. He stroked her hair.

Thoughts of Sam and Emily and the pack came to mind. And Jake, she hadn’t spoken to him in a while. And then there was her mother and Seth. They would all know.

She would take care of it. Edward had given her the strength to take care of it.

“You already are. Making it easier.,” she whispered. “You’re here with me.”






“I need to go the pharmacy on the way back. It closes in thirty minutes. I need to pick up shampoo and some Vitamin B or something. My lips and mouth keep getting a little tingly for a few minutes at a time. It’s not total numbness, but kinda electric if that makes sense,” Leah complained absently, shuffling through her purse for her phone.

The time was half past ten and even though she wasn’t a teenager with a curfew, she was going to check in with Sue and let her know she’d be home soon.

After their conversation, Leah wanted to stay close to Edward but a certain stoicism had settled onto his face on the drive home and Leah wasn’t sure if he wanted her to stay the night. Probably better to put that off after they weren’t reeling from one confession to the next.  

Edward snickered to himself as he drove. Leah was almost relieved to hear it. She finished texting Sue and slipped her phone back into her bag.

‘What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Edward replied, a secret smile on his lips almost hidden by the darkness of the car’s interior. He had gone from vampire in existential crisis to solid rock of a man to teenage boy in the span of an hour.

Now who’s giving who whiplash?

“Nuh uh, if you’re laughing about it, you gotta tell me.”

Edward shrugged. “Just want to preface this by stating there’s no adverse effects. And you’d need a lot of it to go completely numb. Just a little funny because I’ve never had to wonder about it with anyone before.”

Leah turned over his words for a moment, and then yanked her body in his direction. She hadn’t put it together before then.

“You can’t be serious!  It’s your saliva on me?” she exclaimed.

“Well, technically my venom. It has a temporary, localized anesthetic effect on non vampires.”

“Well that explains my neck and chest right now, too,” Leah replied in interest, suddenly noticing the effect. Those areas were also slightly tingling, her nerve endings dancing. It was honestly very pleasant.

And the memory of Edward’s mouth on her made her stomach flutter

“I can try and control the flow of venom a little bit. I honestly should,” he said, more to himself. But she could still see a hint of a smirk, meaning he wasn’t still too raw or upset. She took that as a sign that some light flirting was okay for now. She wanted him to feel better, about all of it.

Leah rubbed his nearest shoulder and then slid her hand down his arm.  

“I definitely don’t want you to do that,” she objected, a little more seductively than she intended. She thought she might as well play into the tenor of their conversation. “Now that I know, I think I like having a little reminder where your mouth has been on me.”

Edward looked at her out of the corner of his eye, expertly navigating the car into the Forks town limits.

“Yeah?” he asked softly.

“Mhmm,” she nodded slowly. “Is it okay if I say some dirty things to you while you drive? I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

She didn’t know if it was the imprint or the fact that they had admitted so much to each other already, but he made her want to vocalize thoughts that would have mortified her weeks earlier.

Edward tried to hold in his laughter and shook his head. He gestured for her to go ahead with his free hand.

“So you have venom in your mouth. But does it also shoot out of…you know,” Leah hinted.

Leah saw Edward swallow.

“If you’re asking if I ejaculate venom, then yes, I do.”

“Ahh, good to know. I bet that would feel amazing,”

“What, me ejaculating? Yes, it does,” Edward confirmed calmly. He took a right turn.   

“No, I bet it does for you, but for me…‘It’s Electric’,” Leah sang. “I think I’d really enjoy that.”

Edward gave her another sideways glance, his face blank.

“You know, you’re not half as shocking as you think you are,” he stated neutrally. “I’ve seen and heard every salacious thing a person can indulge in their mind. And then some”

“I’m not trying to be anything,” Leah denied innocently, her eyes wide.

“And I know you’re trying to distract me.”

“No, really, I’m not.” Leah’s hands fluttered in explanation. “If I was trying to shock and distract you, I would have talked about how good it would feel to have you dripping your mouth venom all over me as you ate out my pus-.”

Before she could even finish, Edward hacked out a rough laugh as he fell back in the driver’s seat. He parked on the main road, close enough that they could walk up to Weber’s Pharmacy.

“Congratulations, you’ve sufficiently distracted me. Jesus Christ, Leah,” he groaned. He ran his hands through his hair.

Leah laughed sheepishly. “Shit. Too much?”

Edward closed his eyes and shook his head against the headrest.

“Not too much. Just enough. That visual is going to carry me for days.”

She scrunched her nose and beamed, a little proud of herself. “Happy to be of service.”

His head flipped towards her, and she could see every line of his much more carefree expression. He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek.

“Thank you for making me laugh.”

Leah kissed his palm. “Anytime.”

She could sense that shift again, that familiar mix of desire and possessiveness building, and she welcomed it. Edward’s smile disappeared and his thumb stroked her bottom lip.

 Maybe she didn’t need that shampoo after all.

But then they heard it at the same time, the sound of breaking glass and shards hitting the pavement about a quarter mile away.

Both of their heads jerked up in awareness as the lust drained out of them.

Leah quickly calculated the possibilities in her head. The pharmacy was not visible from around the corner and Leah couldn’t be sure, but she had a nauseating hunch that the storefront of Weber’s was currently in pieces.

“Is that…?” she started.

“I think so,” Edward finished grimly. Before she could say another word, he moved up and out of the car. He shut the door on her as she sat, stunned.  

“Stay here,” he demanded.

Leah swore and wrenched her own door open, kicking his order aside.

“Like hell I will,” she growled. Edward was running, but at a human pace to avoid any possible unwanted attention on the otherwise empty street. Leah caught up with his brisk jog easily.

“I want you to be safe,” he protested as she closed the distance.

“Same, Edward. Get that through your damn skull. What did we just speak about? You’re not leaving me behind.”

“I’m not,” Edward started, but then stopped himself at Leah’s pointed gaze. The both of them slowed to a walk as they rounded the street corner.

The interior of the store was dark. Leah realized it must have closed earlier tonight, with it being the weekend. The window displays were in a heap, nothing keeping the items from spilling to the outside. The front facing windowpanes were empty, save a few a hanging shards, and a confetti of broken glass and goods littered the sidewalk. Leah idly kicked at a prop Sterno can on the ground in front of her.

“Do you smell anyone?” Leah whispered, her hackles on the rise. She couldn’t, but she could scent the frayed ends of residual electricity permeating the air. Like lightning striking too closely to the ground.

“Nothing,” Edward murmured, suspicion marking his features. He sniffed at the air again. “No humans. Nothing and no one at all, except for…,”

“That electrical charge? Yeah, I smell it too.” Edward nodded at her.

He cocked his head in recognition.

“I hear sirens,” he stated. “The silent alarm must have gone off. We’ll need to stay here since they’ll be able to catch us on the CCTV footage. They’ll know we arrived after the break in. Get ready to answer some questions, just tell the truth.”

The truth that her and Edward had been about to fool around again in his car was the least of her concerns.

‘What do you think it was?” Leah asked curiously. “It can’t have been one of us.” Vampires and wolves; they were an ‘us’ in her mind now.

Edward shook his head. “I don’t know…but I’m not sure I trust my senses. Whatever it was, it’s gone now. Keep close to me and we’ll wait for the cops. Stay alert.”

Leah could hear them faintly now, just a moment after Edward had first sensed it. Sirens ripped through the air and she perked up. She heard another car approaching from the west.

“That would be Angela,” Edward confirmed, nodding as he answered the question on her face.

Oh, well. This will be easy. Knock it all out at once.

She took Edward’s hand and he interlaced his fingers with hers. He moved them to the side, facing the street, as if they were confused bystanders willing to give witness about what they had seen and heard.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” she forced out. But her unease at the scene behind them stiffened her spine. Neither of them were used to being in the dark like this.

After a few minutes, two police cruisers came to a rolling halt in front of them. Leah saw a uniformed leg step out and then Chief Lahote -Jones stood imposingly, his hand on his belt. His mask of authority dropped for half a second as he took in Leah and her present company, but he recovered quickly.

He slowly approached them as his deputy and two other cops assessed the damage to the store.

“Leah, you’re here,” he stated, no question in his voice. He looked Edward up and down, not greeting him.

“Yeah,” Leah nodded. “I was with Edward and we heard glass shatter. We ran up here and saw the damage but didn’t see anyone.” She clenched Edward’s hand tightly, sure her knuckles were turning white.

Paul noticed their joint hands and raised an eyebrow. “You smell anyone?” he asked a little more quietly.

“No.” Edward stepped in. “Nothing, just a charge in the air. Could have been natural phenomena.”

Paul scoffed, the only break in his relentlessly stoic expression.

“You each other’s alibi?” Paul wagged his finger between the two of them. Leah felt herself prickle at the hint of condescension.  

 “Yeah, Paul, we can vouch for each other. Edward was with me. We were parked down the street in his car and heard a noise. We ran here and saw this. We didn’t see or smell or otherwise note anything out of the ordinary,” Leah stated defensively, her voice rising. A few of the cops glanced uneasily in her direction and then rapidly looked away when they viewed Edward next to her. Paul was tall and as grave as a cemetery, but Edward’s looming and commanding presence was undeniable.

Edward was right. The police really didn’t like having him around.

“Well, why were you in this part of town? Last I remember, Sue’s house is that way, on the rez,” Paul pushed back, gesturing in the direction of the highway. “And Cullen. Aren’t you pretty deep in the forest? Haven’t been up to your house before, but there’s a first for everything.”

He wasn’t even trying to disguise the threat in his words, not that Edward was cowed in any way.

“You can check the store security footage, Chief,” Edward replied coolly. “Leah and I arrived after the break in.”

Paul gave them a long, incisive stare, trying to find the fault line in their story. He was good at these stretches of silence, drawing out the tension until Leah couldn’t bear it.  

“Paul, what possible reason would we have for vandalizing a store?” Leah reasoned, her exasperation clear. “Especially a store owned by my friend’s parents.”

“This is the third incident we’ve had at Weber’s. Stranger things have happened,” Paul noted, eying Edward.

“Well this isn’t one of them,” Leah bit back.

Paul didn’t argue, just crossed his arms. The three of them were frozen in a silent standoff, none of them willing to budge. Paul was too old to be a wolf. He had never transformed, but he had the power of the pack fully behind him. The fact that Edward was a vampire didn’t intimidate him one bit.

Leah shot daggers at him with her eyes, knowing he was laying on the Chief act a little too thickly. And then, she supposed, she couldn’t blame him.

Edward squeezed her hand in reassurance. He wasn’t bothered by it at all.

The tension was broken by a brief shout and police chatter. The static beep of a walkie sounded.

“What the fuck happened here?” Angela shrieked. She had finally arrived. Leah saw her cover her mouth in horror at seeing the damage and her stomach dropped uncomfortably.

This had to be the worst kind of surprise.

“Angela, I’m sorry.” Edward released Leah as she walked to her friend, hoping to provide some explanation. Or at least a hug.

“Leah, what?” Angela peered at her in confusion, her voice still distraught. “What are you doing here?” She glanced behind her, clocking Edward. “Cullen?”

“Hey,” Leah rubbed Angela’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry, we were in the area and heard the glass breaking and tried to investigate. We didn’t see what happened but decided to stay until the police arrived.” Angela just stared back at her. “Are you okay?”

Angela shook her head and then wiped at her face. “No, of course not. This whole thing feels like a nightmare. I closed the place early today for my parents, they’re out of town with the twins. I was just here an hour ago and everything was fine. Why does this keep happening? What…who would do this?” she cried out, her disbelief progressing to frustration

Leah gave into her urge to offer a hug. Angela was falling apart at the seams.

“We’re going to stay as long as you need,” she stated decisively. “The both of us.”

“The both of you?” Angela’s eyebrows scrunched with the dawning realization. “You and Cullen, you’re together?”

Leah turned to Edward and back to Angela. “Yes, yes we are.”

“I knew it,” she replied. But her face was distant, unfocused.

Paul observed their interaction silently. The tic in his jaw indicated he wasn’t going to be doing Leah any favors. It was plain as day what Edward was to her.

“Well, Leah, you and your paramour are going to need to give my deputy a statement. That gonna be a problem?” Leah rolled her eyes.

Well, it’s only a matter of ‘when’ now with the pack. This is one way to get everything out in the open.

Edward who had stood on the edge of things like a silent sentinel was at her side in an instant.

“We’ll answer any questions you have. And then Leah needs to drive home, it’s getting late.”

Angela’s eyes bounced, almost comically, between the two of them, unable to process the entire scene. Unsure if she should intervene.

“Thank you both. Don’t hold yourselves up for too long. I’m glad you’re okay,” she deferred hesitantly, pulling at her phone. “What a weird night. I need to call Ben. And my parents.” She walked away, her nerves radiating off her.

Paul jerked his head in Leah’s direction.

“You need a ride to La Push after? I can drop you.”

“No,” Leah firmly declined. She took up Edward’s hand once again. If they were going to do this, there could be no hesitation. No question. Edward rubbed her knuckles supportively. “I parked at the Cullen’s house. Edward will drive me and I’ll pick it up from there.”

“And I’ll follow you, make sure you get back behind the border,” Edward stated carefully, not granting any room for argument.

He was watching over her. They were watching over each other. The night had taken an unsettling turn, and she would allow it.

“Okay,” Leah softly agreed, fiercely gazing back into his eyes. The flashing lights of the sirens washed over their faces, reflecting off them in surreal patches of red and blue. While Edward betrayed nothing, she could feel his relief.

Paul grunted in annoyance. Leah glared back at him, defiant.

He had to know he was in between Leah’s stubbornness and a hard place, and there would be no quarter for him. The Chief finally sighed and gave in, motioning for an officer to come forward.

“Deputy, get their statements,” he ordered gruffly. Before leaving, he leaned towards Leah, irritatingly close. She stood her ground.

“I hope you know what you’re doing here, girl,” he threw out under his breath, glancing warily at Edward. He straightened up and sauntered away, calling to Angela to likely go over the extent of the damage.

Leah responded absently to the deputy’s questions as Edward hugged her shoulders and filled in her answers when necessary.

Angela, Paul, the police. Who’s next?

And then realized that it didn’t matter. She would be ready.


 

Notes:

Whew, a long one! I’m posting this before my vacation, so hopefully it will be enough to tide everyone over the next few weeks. It means a lot to me to get consistent feedback so please leave a review/comment after you’re done reading. Let me know what you think of these two knuckleheads and their progression.

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Notes:

And we’re back! Edward and Leah have some adjustments to make, and it gets heated. Triple M rating here for sure. As always, own nothing my own original plot and characters. Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


When you move
I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be
When you move
I could never define all that you are to me

So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally
Move me, baby

- Movement by Hozier




 

Leah wondered if the afternoon was dragging on in perpetuity or if the mounted clock in the computer lab had just stopped working, the second hand forever stuck at a quarter till. Four PM couldn’t come fast enough for her, or for the students lackadaisically rotating in their swivel chairs and chattering aimlessly. Leah’s lesson had not been as complete or time consuming as she initially thought, and she chided herself for her lack of preparation. She hoped this wouldn’t reach the principal, or the school board and completely torpedo her burgeoning career at Forks High.

Ha, career.

While the extra money was highly necessary and she had been excited about the prospect of additional teaching opportunities, Leah found herself fighting disinterest and malaise the past few days. It didn’t help that her girls in La Push had all but abandoned the computer lab with impending finals rearing their head, or that the students in Forks would soon face the same situation. Their final projects would be submitted through a portal Leah had already setup on the lab computers and Leah would be able to access and grade them remotely. Her students were leaving her again, and if there was anything Leah hated, it was being left behind.

And it seemed her long since sent job application for that startup in Seattle had done exactly the same.

She sighed in frustration and strolled to the back of the room, where Angela was fanning herself lazily with an old school newsletter. She sat herself against the edge of the desk, her arms slack, and Angela half smiled.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Clearwater. ‘Momma said there’d be days like this’,” she sang shrilly, batting at Leah’s shoulder with the paper. A few students raised their heads in surprise at how casually Angela was slouching in her office chair. Teachers after hours were quite the freakshows to the student body. Leah could only assume their minds would combust if they ever saw her hair down and in that dress from her date with Edward.

Especially Tyler.  

The aforementioned lovelorn upperclassman was slipping her and Angela appreciative glances while joking with a football buddy of his.

Ugh.

Leah turned back to Angela to avoid him.

“Please don’t tell your boss about this.”

“What? Tyler or the fact you’re too efficient an instructor?”

“Erm, both?”

Angela smirked and rolled her eyes. “You’re acting as if you’re the first teacher to end a lesson early. Just put these guys out of their misery and release them to their equally unwilling households.”

Leah’s shoulders slumped. “No, I’ll think of something. Or at least give them the last fifteen minutes to flirt and Tik Tok and Snapchat the computer lab before they head home.” Leah saw a number of them with their phones out, likely communicating their boredom on the apps.

Angela shrugged skeptically. “If you want.”

Leah focused more intently on Angela, interpreting her body language. They hadn’t spoken of the incident from last weekend as Leah had jumped right into teaching that afternoon, and she hadn’t thought to follow up.

Distractions in the form of her annoyingly attractive imprint notwithstanding, she was being a bad friend.

She poked at Angela’s arm, not exactly the picture of warmth.

“Um, ow,” Angela remarked.

“How are you?” Leah intoned in a low voice, attempting to keep any unwanted attention at bay. “After we left that day, what happened? I’ve been so caught up in my week since then.” And in letting Edward paw me like an animal whenever we have a second with each other. “I’m sorry I haven’t texted.”

Angela brushed her off with a wave. “Please, despite my initial freak out, the whole thing is fine. Insurance kicked in, parents get a break from the store while the front is being renovated. We’re all good!”

Leah slid closer. “Any idea what it was?” She and Edward had discussed it a few times since, both of them coming up short with potential culprits. And then in the vein of new love, they proceeded to eat each other’s faces while Edward shoved his hand down her pants and whispered sexy, encouraging things against her mouth. While they were being mindful of Edward’s imposed limits, he seemed to have no issue in touching her in a way that took her to new heights. Over and over again.

Very, very talented fingers.

“Honestly, Angela stated ominously, leaning in. “No fucking idea. The CCTV footage shows literally nothing. There’s a light offscreen, the window explodes, a few minutes later you and Edward come running up.” She shook her head. “But at least we know it’s not burglars, nothing was taken from the cash register, and we inventoried the whole damn store. Nothing was missing.”

“A light?” Leah questioned. She had latched onto that detail. Maybe it really was some freak turn of nature, some electrical storm.

“Yeah, it’s blurred, but there’s something right at the edge of the footage. Probably an animal. Maybe some asshole teen. All I know is this shit better stop now that the police are specifically patrolling the area.” She dropped the newsletter and allowed it to float back onto the desk. It advertised that month’s boosters and Leah noted mildly that Carlisle and Esme were prominently featured.

Leah imagined Paul performing a sweep of the street and inwardly scoffed. Like the police could do anything more than she and Edward were capable of, or even the pack or his family could sense. If the cause truly was something supernatural, they all had reason to worry.

She allowed it to fall to the recesses of her mind for the time being and her anxiety over her future job prospects bloomed again.

I’m never getting away from here, a small piece of her accepted with more than a bit of despair. She tried not to succumb to self-pity if she could help it. However, faced with the blank eyed stares of bored students and not seeing Edward in over twenty-four hours due to his double shift - the first being blood analysis, the next covering the ER – her mood had sunk even further.

The only highlight of her evening was a dinner for Sue’s birthday at her mother’s favorite Mexican restaurant, a few exits down the highway from La Push. Sue hated a fuss but was borderline obsessive about celebrating with her family, and it was the least she and Seth could do. It had become a bizarre tradition of sorts the past few years and she had plans to meet them at seven. Which meant catching up with Edward later was impossible.

Her body grew restless as her mind automatically drew up an image of Edward and her trying and failing to keep quiet against a tree deep in the woods on Monday, since his parents were home. The real thing was so much more satisfying than the fantasies her imprint bond had conjured just a few weeks before. Lost to the memory she didn’t notice her phone buzzing.

“Earth to Leah?”

“Hmm?”

“Your phone.” Angela nudged her hand and Leah’s glazed over eyes slid to her phone. She swiftly lifted it, opening the new text and hoping Angela hadn’t caught sight of the sender.  

E : Carlisle covering me for a few hours so I can get a reprieve and possibly see something other than the inside of a hospital.

She was about to type that was great news, but she still had her mother’s dinner, when the unmistakable scent of ocean and sweet cedar wafted in gently from an open window. Her imprint bond lit like a flame. She quivered but tried to compose herself, casually standing and backing towards the door.

“Ang, I gotta step outside for a call quickly, you’ve got this right.”

Angela didn’t even bother to raise her head.

“You mean a room full of robots?” Every kid was now sucked into their phone. “I think I can handle it.”

“Cool, cool, I’ll be back in to close up.” Leah walked as quickly as she could without raising suspicion, and then gave up and sprinted, following the lead of her bond as she veered left out of a side door near the back of the hallway.

She was in the shadow of a maple on the side of the brick annex housing the computer lab and found Edward leaning against the concrete block of steps leading down from the door.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Seems like you got my text.”

She kept her face passive. “Can smell you from a mile away. You might want to work on that. You’re way too obvious.” But even so, she practically bounded own the steps.

“Please, you like how I smell.” She stopped short of him and crossed her arms.

“Of course, I do.” She mirrored the cocky smile he was wearing. “You’re still obvious.”

“Maybe. Miss me?” he asked darkly, his unbothered veneer slipping as she saw his hand flex in anticipation. “Because I have to say, I’m going a little crazy over here.”

Leah bit her lip, her breath catching a bit. “Yeah? I’m doing just fine.”

Edward scrunched his forehead in skepticism and inched nearer. Leah could discern the glimmer of need in his amber eyes, the layer of control he was shedding for her. Just enough for both of them to truly enjoy what would come next.

“That’s too bad because I thought we could try something today.”

Leah’s smile faltered a bit. Doing things to Edward was high on her list of priorities. So was not getting fired for indecency at a high school while working there.  

“Edward,” she reasoned uneasily, not quite understanding how he could be this reckless. “I’ve got ten minutes on the clock. I don’t think Forks High is the best place for us to really test the limit. My students already have some weird authority complex, given Angela and I are barely old enough to tell them what to do.” Not that Leah couldn’t be convinced, there were some outbuildings that had likely been abandoned during the Regan administration.

Edward paused, confusion and then realization settling on his face before he began to laugh in earnest. He bent over and Leah’s lips drew into a tight line.

“If this is your way of setting a mood, it’s having the opposite effect.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He held out his hand as his laughter faded. “You just surprise me…all the time. I obviously don’t mean here.”

“Oh, yeah…well, obviously.” Wow, you were about to agree to get in on in a high school. Where you teach. You’ve got to get a hold of yourself.

Edward placed his forearms on each of her shoulders and bent down to her level, searching her face.

“I know you’re eager, Ms. Clearwater, but the place I have in mind requires a bit of patience. Can you manage?” he joked, trying to catch her eye. Leah shook her head, attempting to duck away from Edward with some of her dignity intact.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed. I’ve been counting down the minutes...,” he started, but Leah decided to try a different tack to cover her humiliation and cut him off with a leap, pushing her face against his. She lassoed her arms around his neck and went deep, practically attacking his mouth. His arms encased her, and he lifted her at the waist. They slammed audibly against the brick exterior of the building, the sound startling a few birds in the tree branches above them.

Luckily enough they both had just enough presence of mind to push away from each other at the distant sound of approaching footsteps. Before she could utter a word, he was leaning against the maple tree, half concealed in shadow.

The side door swung open and Angela peeked out her head inquisitively, catching sight of a slightly breathless Leah, her blouse untucked.

“There you are. You okay? Have to lock up in five and Tyler is trying to ask me about my boyfriend. It’s getting very uncomfortable in there ahhh….,” she trailed off as she followed Leah’s gaze over to Edward. “Oh…wow. I get it now.” She bit her bottom lip to hold in her laughter and then mouthed an “Oh my God” behind her hand to Leah.

Leah blushed so furiously her palms were shading red.

Edward pushed off the tree with his hands in the pockets of his scrub bottoms, still in shadow.

“All my doing, unfortunately. I was early to pick up Leah,” he smoothly explained. He turned to Leah. “I’ll wait in the car, Lee.”

“No, no, no, no!” Angela fluttered her hands giddily, catching the door with her foot. “You guys should leave now, there is literally nothing important happening. I’ll close up and get the kids outta here. I’ll actually get you your bag, Leah. Hold on.”

She disappeared back into the building and Leah slapped her hand to her forehead, stunned by her own unprofessionalism. In the span of a second, Edward had caught her by the waist again and was smiling into her hair.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Lee. I’ll make it up to you. Meet me at the car.” He kissed her forehead and then was gone.

A few moments passed before Angela reappeared, saddled with Leah’s bag and coat. She glanced over and around Leah, noting Edward’s absence and deflated.

“Oh no, did I scare him away? I’m sorry.” She handed off Leah’s things to her.

“No, it’s not...,” Leah started and then paused. It’s exactly what it looks like.

Angela shook her head in disbelief. “Are you actually embarrassed? How are you not shouting this from the rooftops?” Leah attempted to offer some excuse and Angela held her hand up. “No, you don’t need to give me an explanation. Fucking good for you, bagging Edward Cullen. I didn’t think anyone could. But you guys…you just make a lot of sense.” Angela’s face held such appreciation for her relationship status, that Leah felt her ego swell to an obnoxious degree.

“Uh, thanks. He’s definitely a keeper,” Leah offered sheepishly.

If only she knew how long I intend to keep him.

“I’ll say. And you’re such a catch, obviously. You’re the only person I could think of that could hold your own against him. It’s kinda perfect. But, I have to ask.” Angela stopped and twirled her finger at Leah. “You never mentioned how you guys met? Was it before that day in the parking lot? It must’ve been, too quick otherwise,” she murmured to herself.

Oh boy.

“Uh, something like that?” Leah hedged. “We met in high school…through my brother. His lacrosse team. Edward coached the town’s junior league and trained Seth.” Sure he did, except it was to kill supernatural menaces. Not exactly a varsity sport. “We, uh…we reconnected when he moved back.”

“Wow, I had no idea Edward played any sports. But that pretty much tracks for him. He is such a mystery, you’ll need to tell me all his secrets one day,” Angela teased, rubbing her hands together in glee. She was positively glowing for Leah, and she felt such warmth towards her in that moment. It was nice to share this with a friend, to see someone happy for her. It was more than she could expect when word inevitably spread.  

Leah smiled and rolled her eyes. “You have no idea.”

They promised to catch up later and Leah made her way to Edward’s shiny silver Tesla. The passenger side door popped open before she even reached it.  She slammed it in annoyance as she sat inside, before glaring at Edward.

“Thanks for that. Now Angela thinks I’m having sex on high school premises. Weirdly enough she’s not bothered by it.”

Edward gave her an apologetic smile. “Are you?”

“I mean, a little, Edward,” she replied in exasperation. “What if one of my students had seen us? I work here and I don’t like people thinking I don’t take it seriously.”

“I can promise you, no one thinks that,” he assured her. His hand went to her neck and he swept his thumb over her pulse, soothing her.

“I’m sorry, I’m not even angry at you. I just can’t seem to control myself.” She touched her fingertips to his, and they threaded together. Edward kissed each individual knuckle on her hand. “I’m so caught up in you and I can’t help it.”

“It’s pretty common for mated pairs,” Edward stated plainly. “It’s a natural instinct to want to be this close, to share everything.”

“Yeah, for imprinted ones too,” Leah replied weakly, disguising her true meaning. Because she knew there was much more stacked upon this bond; one thing in particular she hadn’t voiced but desperately wanted to.

I love you. I love you so much. I love who you are, how you are. I can’t stand it and I need to show you how much.

She kept her thoughts to herself. She couldn’t comprehend what was holding her back, even now.

 “I just hate being away from you. It’s not fair we can’t spend every night together. We haven’t even gotten the chance to yet.” Her voice rose in frustration. “It’s so fucking ridiculous, we are two consenting, self-sufficient adults that somehow still have to sneak around like idiotic teenagers because you can’t come over the border to my house. And if I stay at your house, there will be hell to pay in the way of explanations. And I don’t want to gross your parents out, since they’ll be able to hear …everything. This is some real millennial moving back home shit.” 

“They wouldn’t care,” Edward promised. “I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to vacate my own house to accommodate them and all my siblings.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to do that to them.”

“Want to run away together?” Edward joked, but Leah could hear a drop of sincerity in his offer. The idea was seductive, her and Edward alone and unburdened by responsibilities and their families, and…

“Stupid treaties,” she mumbled under her breath.

Edward chuckled and released her hand, starting the car as he motioned for her to buckle up.

“I’m taking us somewhere, and I think you’ll like it. I promise to get you to dinner on time, as well,” he declared, some excitement seeping through his words.

“Where?” Leah asked. She wasn’t sure she was quite in the mood for another surprise.

Edward placed one hand on the wheel and one on her knee, squeezing her gently.  

“You’ll see. But I can promise no one will be able to hear us.”





When you move
I can recall somethin' that's gone from me
When you move
Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free

So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally
Move me, baby


So move me, baby
Like you've nothin' left to prove
And nothin' to lose
Move me, baby

- Movement by Hozier (ct’d)




“You brought me to a rundown Blair Witch cottage in the middle of the forest?” Leah asked in confusion. The structure didn’t seem sound; overgrowth surrounded its base and the weathered roof and shudders looked as if they hadn’t been tended to in years.

Edward scoffed defensively. “I built this, thank you very much.”

“When? 1930?”

“1935,” he corrected.

“Ahh.”

Edward had parked at the Cullen’s house and led her into the forest bordering the yard. He had run ahead of her, cheekily asking if she wanted to race and then had sped off before she could even answer. She cursed and followed the bond, unable to match him but quick on his heels as she caught sight of him at every bend of the curved trail. The feeling was indescribable, her wolf strength coursing through her as they ran together, her shrieking and him laughing as they dodged trees and leapt over streams; neither of them needing to stop or explain themselves to each other.

It could be like this all the time, Leah acknowledged in wonder.

One or both of them would need to move on from their family homes. And quickly.

They finally halted in a clearing and that was when Leah noticed the cottage.

Leah covered her smile and stepped closer, assessing the solidness of the door fully on its hinges and the minute scrollwork details on its wrought iron handle. She pushed against it and hesitantly entered. Everything in the front room was shrouded, hidden under white drop cloths and conspicuous dust was thick on any of the visible surfaces. But it was neat, and no outdoor debris had invaded the space. And a small hallway opened cozily to the side, leading to the back of the cottage.

She felt Edward behind her.

“I used to spend a large amount of time here. The first time we moved this this area. Our current house is built on the foundation of the old one, but there were so many of us in that space. I needed a place to myself.”

Leah caught sight of the flagstone fireplace centered along the cracked plaster of the back wall, ashen and dark from disuse. Next to it were two attached bookshelves, about half full with volumes of various thickness. She visualized Edward here alone on a dark night, a roaring fire keeping him company as he devoured book after book, and she felt a twinge of sympathy and affection for him. She could only imagine that even if he could read in the dark, he wouldn’t want to.

She walked in further, making a beeline for the bookcases. Some of the spines lining the shelves were grainy with age, embossed with gold and silver titles, but there were a few glossy paperbacks filling the space. He must have come recently to fix up the rooms…or spend some time alone.

She gingerly ran her hand over the spines, passing a tome advertising the Complete Works of Shakespeare and Marlowe, before pausing on what must have been a first edition copy of  Huxley’s Brave New World . Next to it was a leather-bound copy of The Hobbit, then Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, followed by Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, and even…

Leah laughed in delighted surprise. She carefully pulled the book from its resting place and presented it to Edward, facing the cover towards him.

“How to Win Friends and Influence People? Really?” she asked, still laughing.

“It was a very popular book at the time. I had to see what the fuss was about.”

“I have a feeling you don’t need help in that area,” Leah teased skeptically, passing the book to him.

He drummed his fingers on the cover, glancing at her through his lashes. “Only with one person, perhaps.”

The air between them grew heavier and fell, the implications of his words rendering Leah speechless.

“Before we even start, how much time do we have? I have to drive you to your car at the high school, and then you have to drive to the restaurant, so let’s make sure we leave time for that,” Edward very practically suggested. He fiddled with his phone for a moment, and then placed it on the shelf. “It’s four twenty now. I set a timer for two hours, does that sound good to you?” he asked.

Leah nodded silently, still a little perturbed by the idea Edward thought he had to win her over.  

When she finally found her voice, he interrupted.

“Edward, I…”

“I’m not blaming you at all. The exact opposite. It was necessary, this time for introspection when I returned, and you imprinted. There is no guide for us, no example for us to follow.” He reshelved the book and strode to the fireplace, not looking at her. Edward could play modern, but in reality, he was an old soul; a dark angel wearing his melancholy in that moment.

Leah wrung her hands, her guilt eating her from the inside as she waited for him to continue.

“Can I be honest with you?” he finally asked, his voice low and muted.

Leah swallowed down her anxiety. “Always.”

“I was scared,” he confessed, dipping his head. “Scared you would find our differences too vast. That I would disgust you. You wouldn’t come to me that first week and I kept reminding myself you needed the choice. I could never force a connection. I gave you every opportunity to turn away, I swore to leave you alone if you did not want me when my entire being was screaming the exact opposite. The day you finally did, I cast off any illusion that I could stay away. And now I can’t imagine ever being without you.”

“But I think… not you specifically, but that feeling.” Edward took an unnecessary deep breath. His thoughts must have been torturing him if he was succumbing to familiar human gestures. “I think it’s the reason I am having so much difficulty in managing this part of me.”

Leah knew which part he was alluding to.

His words from Port Angeles echoed in her head.

Devour you. Make you mine.

“The possessiveness,” she breathed out.

Edward nodded. “I meant it when I said that there is another side to me, an insatiable chasm of hunger, of lust…of love. If I take too much, I’ll push you away and then I’ll lose you. And unlike that day at the house, you won’t come back to me. To fully let myself go, I need to convince my idiotic brain that you won’t leave. And then I won’t feel the need to run.”

“Edward, I’m not going anywhere.” Leah’s hands itched to touch his skin, reassure him through her actions. Show him how much she wanted to possess him.

“Logically, I know this,” he agreed. “I can sense it radiating off you, the feelings you carry. You said I’m worth giving yourself over to, and I will spend my life proving it to you…but I have lost so many, Leah. I have been alone so long. I cannot return to that, at least a whole man. That seed of doubt is tearing me apart.” His voice was thick with sorrow. “So, this feeling, this pathological need to mark you as mine…I discussed it with Carlisle, because I promised I would not make this your issue. He thinks it’s mental more than anything. Some psychological compulsion amplified by my own abandonment issues, my parents dying. The solitude of being a vampire. The guilt in surviving and what I did to survive. So much guilt.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “But I promised to show you my true self. And I think I can channel it, all of it, with your consent, so that it doesn’t overtake us both in everyday life. So that I’m not constantly fighting it and allowing it to affect you. So that I’m respecting the life you want. That you deserve,” he emphasized.

“Whatever helps you Edward,” Leah answered immediately, willing and curious. He was coming to her, asking her to provide him something he needed, just as she had pleaded with him to do. She knew how it felt; control was a small but essential piece to both of their bonds, an element in place to ensure their connection was indestructible. But her mind clouded trying to determine what could possibly be his solution. If her reassurances weren’t enough…did he want her to show him in a specific way? “Anything you need, you know I’ll give it to you.”

He approached her slowly, deliberately, an animal identifying his mark during a hunt. “Are you quite sure? I haven’t even told you yet.”

Leah involuntarily shivered. There was no doubt in her mind that she was now the prey.

“What do you need?” she repeated.

He tilted her chin up to him, their mouths a whisper apart. Leah could almost taste the sweetness of his scent, of his cold breath.

 “You’re mine. In my bed. In any bed. Whenever you’re with me in that way, you are fully, utterly mine. You’ll think only of me, of what only I can give you. And on my word, I will give you everything,” he stated clearly, his voice carrying a black undertone of longing and deeply held possessiveness. His words were both a promise and demand.

Thunder clapped in Leah’s chest, and she almost shrank to the ground. His words awakened a hunger in her so strong that she was sure it had been lurking underneath her imprint like some primeval force, just awaiting the moment in which it could rush to the surface.

Leah had harbored doubts those first few days, thinking Edward would reject her. It seemed he had felt the same. It was time to finally bury these doubts, purge them with the fire of this thing growing within her.

If she thought she had wanted him before, it was a pale, withered version of what possessed her now.

Edward’s eyes glinted darkly as she nodded her understanding.

“You didn’t need to ask. I’m already yours. You know this,” she countered, her voice a throaty whisper.

“Say it again,” he commanded. His hands set upon her shoulders and slipped off the light trench coat she had been wearing that day. It piled onto the rough pine wood floor along with all of Leah’s inhibitions.

She smiled at him, a mischievous curve of her lips.

“So, what happens when we’re not in a bed?” she whispered. “What if we’re in the kitchen, or outside against a tree, or…”

He cut her off with a hungry kiss, one that bowed her backwards as he dug his fingers into her waist.  

“Anytime I have you. Every time,” he growled.

“Where’s the bedroom,” Leah practically panted. She ripped her dark hair out of the ponytail she had styled that morning and pried her dressy loafers off her feet, leaving them in the middle of the living room.

Edward unzipped and shed his sweatshirt and Leah noticed that while he still had on his scrub bottoms, he was wearing a simple cotton tee on top.

He threw his sweatshirt on top of her coat and rolled his shoulders, as if he had just released a hefty weight off his back. Metaphorically speaking, he had.

 “Follow the hallway down,” he stated simply, looking into the fireplace. “It will lead you directly in. Go first.”

“Why?” Leah questioned. I want you with me.

 I want to follow you,” he almost whispered.

A cold thrill ran through Leah at the thought and she obliged, stepping past Edward, past the arched doorway and into the hall. She could feel his eyes boring into her back though, and the soft footfalls of his bare feet gave him away.

He wasn’t at all trying to hide from her. He wanted her to know that she was still in her sights. That he had her cornered.

When Leah entered the bedroom, her first impression was that Edward had definitely prepared for this moment.

The room smelled fresh, aired out. There were crisp white sheets tucked onto the large bed located against the back wall and a vase of peonies, her favorite flower, on each of the roughly hewn side tables. She would bet that Edward had carved the wood himself, so long ago.

“The cottage has working electricity,” he stated suddenly, his voice floating over her shoulder. “But I don’t think we need it.” Natural light, though waning, streamed through two picture windows mounted into the side wall.

Leah immediately felt nervous, but ignored it, knowing it was a product of this moment. She reminded herself that there was no one she trusted more.

She strode confidently to the bed, crawling onto the edge of the surprisingly soft mattress and then to the gigantic carved headboard. She turned and sat patiently, resting her body against it.

Edward stared at her from his place in the doorway. Leah stared back, as if in a challenge.

They said nothing until Edward finally broke away from the threshold. He scrubbed his hand over his mouth.

“If you would be so kind as to remove your trousers,” he asked politely, unnecessarily formal as he stood a few feet from the end of the bed.

If Leah had been in a more puckish mood, she would have barked out a laugh at his tone. Instead, her hands went to the button and clasp at the waist of her black, cigarette leg slacks. She undid them and dragged out the moment, lifting off the bed as she removed them. She threw them casually to the side and then brought her knees to her chest.

Edward grasped the hem of his t shirt and pulled it over his head, deliberately slow so Leah could fully appreciate the flat planes of muscle on his chest and abdomen flexing in response to his movements. It was her first time seeing him with his shirt completely off. His arms were toned with lean muscle, much more built than she could initially ascertain under his clothes.

He would trap her in those arms. Leah felt herself getting wet.

Edward deeply inhaled and cocked his head, recognizing the scent. “Good.”

Leah clutched the billowy coverlet spread over the bed, and her legs opened slightly.

“I don’t think you know what that does to me. Catching the scent of your arousal. Knowing I’m the cause. Every single time, I will never tire of it,” he explained to her, his musical voice deepening with every word. He no longer spoke with the lightness of wind chimes; his voice was the baritone of tolling bells.

“What are we doing?” Leah asked hurriedly, before the lump in her throat could completely silence her. She was ready. Ready for all of it.

 Edward smiled dangerously, baring a row of straight, white teeth. “I recall you mentioned wanting my venom on a very specific part of your body.”

Leah’s breath left her in whoosh, and she opened her knees further. Without thinking, she pulled at her cotton underwear, sliding it down her long, tan legs, until it dangled from one foot. She held eye contact with Edward and flipped them over the side of the bed.

He observed everything calmly, taking his time, dragging his eyes from between her legs to her face and back again. The only thing that gave him away was his fists, the way they curled up against his sides. But in the next moment, he pressed his hands down on the edge of the mattress, leaning towards her.

“Will you come to me, or will I have to fetch you?” he ground out. She heard him scratch his nails down the coverlet.

Leah knew the correct answer.

“I’m not moving,” she replied stonily, playing along, but she had to hold herself back. It was almost too much, the way his eyes roved over her. The way he was pursuing her like he was on the prowl.

His expression darkened. “Very well,” he accepted, almost pleasantly.

Leah didn’t have time to scream before Edward pounced. He caught each of her ankles and dragged her towards him until she was flat on her back, her silky black hair fanned out like a sunburst halo around her face. He spread her knees apart and rested her calves on each of his shoulders.

He began laying kisses down the insides of her thighs at an irregular pace, nipping roughly at her skin. In losing his control, he was conquering it, and Leah was undoubtedly benefitting. The venom he left behind tingled and she moaned, pushing herself forward until she was essentially hanging from Edward. Her blouse had bunched up to just above her navel and Edward swiped his thumb over it as he made his way up her thighs. She was aching so badly for him to touch her, she could feel the pulsing of blood traveling to her core, causing it to swell. Her eyes closed of their own accord.

“Mmm, please,” she begged. His hands were cool as stone, running up and down her legs and over her stomach but Leah was on fire.

“Look at me,” he demanded softly. Leah’s eyes flew open. He was bent over on the bed, between her legs, so close to where she needed him. He rubbed a cheek against her inner thigh above the steady beat of her femoral artery, basking in the warmth her body provided there. “Tell me you want this.”

He had asked her this before. That day on his bed in the Cullen house. He needed her to say she wanted him.

“I want you so badly it hurts,” she pleaded.

“I never want you to hurt.” He left an openmouthed kiss on the thin skin covering her artery.

“It does, it hurts. Not having you with me, not touching me, it physically aches,” she gasped out, chafing a bit at how pathetic that seemed, but brimming with honesty.

“Well, naturally, I will need to make this right,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “Tell me if this is better.”

He licked a long stripe right between her legs and Leah’s eyes rolled all the way back into her head. He did it again, allowing his tongue to linger on her clit and electricity shot through her.

“Ungh, Edward,” she moaned out.

He fully committed then, sinking his face and entire mouth onto her. He alternately sucked and licked, at her inner lips, at her clit, and then in a way that made Leah think she would come automatically: His tongue entered her, the tip thrusting into her. Stretching her.  

She almost fell apart but held on. The erotic image of Edward’s head moving between her thighs filled her vision, and she grasped for any part of him she could reach. She settled on his hair, pulling it tight in her fists, knowing she wasn’t strong enough to actually hurt him in this instance.

He groaned and went back to licking her, paying special attention to her clit as it swelled and hardened. He brought two fingers to her entrance and eased them in as he sucked on it. His mouth dripped venom and it landed exactly where she had hoped it would.

Leah couldn’t help herself. She pushed herself further into him, rotating her hips desperately as she ground against his face. He gripped the outside of her thighs and pulled up, allowing her to move impossibly closer, his eyes piercing through her as he stared down.

She could only imagine he viewed her as a complete mess, hair everywhere, face red and contorted in ecstasy as he relentlessly ate her. She decided not to overthink the razor burn on her inner thighs or the faint, light brown stretch marks crossing her hips caused by her phasing so much as a teenager.

For the first time that day, her inner voice and the imprint bond lay silent. Nothing sounded inside or outside her head, with the exception of a long string of pleading moans slipping from Leah’s mouth.

Leah was so close, but she was convinced he was toying with her, using his control of the situation to prolong her exquisite suffering. He seemed to bring her right to the brink and pull back his face just as he sensed the blood rushing to her center.

“Edward, that’s not fair,” she complained, her voice breathy and barely audible. “Ahh.”

His tongue entered her again at her words and he rubbed her clit. He no longer held back, and Leah felt her entire body rise with the effort of her orgasm as her head drove into the pillows underneath her.

She yelled, unleashing herself completely as he continued to tongue her.

“Ahh, Edward, holy sh…ungh.” She was so lost to his mouth, his eyes, she couldn’t remember to finish her words and the sounds coming from her deteriorated into nonsense.

She contracted over and over, the aftershocks pleasantly fading after a minute. But for some reason, Leah didn’t feel done.

Edward removed her legs from his shoulders, gently setting them on the bed. He kissed eagerly up her knee, her hip and side, finally stretching out and resting his forehead on her stomach.

Leah swiped at a sweaty strand of hair on her forehead, chest heaving with her labored breath as she tried to identify what that sensation was, that feeling growing where Edward’s mouth had been seconds before.

His venom. It’s his venom, her inner voice finally chimed in.

It was doing strange things to her, reactivating her nerve endings to a degree she hadn’t felt before. It was as if, without any prompting, her body decided she would need to come again.

“Ah Edward, it’s…again…I feel it again,” she rasped out, her arms too weak to push him up and spur him on to complete his work. Her fingers simply went to the nape of his neck, and brushed him there, alerting him that she needed him.

He glanced up at her in curiosity when she began to stifle another series of moans.

Within half a second, he was up and bent over her center. Leah watched him drip a thin trickle of his venom onto her and thought absently that she would never be as turned on as she was in this moment. It mingled with her wetness and Edward licked her one last time with the flat of his tongue, all the way up to her clit.

It was more than enough.

A dark, strangled cry ripped its way from the depths of her chest as she arched completely off the bed, this current one actively eclipsing her previous orgasm.

It attacked her, invaded her body, and caused her abdomen to contract several times over along with her inner canal. Edward held her down at her hips to ground her as her legs shook, but murmured repeatedly against her stomach, too low for Leah to hear.

Even when Leah could no longer make a sound, her mouth remained open in a silent scream, her back frozen at a curve off the bed. She couldn’t move, the effort too great to even fall back down to earth. Her chest heaved and her lungs labored to cycle enough oxygen up to her brain so she wouldn’t black out.

Eventually gravity took over and she collapsed, the mattress bouncing under her weight. She was pleasantly lightheaded and shut her eyes to avoid following the room spinning around her. She felt Edward between her legs, his tongue licking at the wetness that had spread to her upper thighs.

 He was cleaning her… something so animalistic and sexy that she groaned at the thought.

She ran her tongue over her dry lips and dug her heels into the bed, climbing down. Closer to him. She kept her eyes shut as she tried to ignore a dense cloud settling over her, in her.

That last time had shattered something in her, unearthed an unexpected, contradictory emotion that she was struggling to tether again. It would ruin the moment; it would ruin everything.

Edward finished with her thighs and welcomed her under him as she moved down. He searched her face with a small smile before his expression drew up in concern at what he saw.

Leah held her hand to her chest and attempted to trap the feeling before it surfaced, her throat and mouth working to contain it even as a sob escaped her lips. Tears leaked from behind her eyelids and slid sideways down her face and she sobbed again, her chest seizing.

Edward was at her side instantly, his body flush against her as he wiped at her tears.

“Hey, hey, shh” he murmured gently. “What is it, love?”

His words just made her cry even harder. She had hurt him. Hurt him in such a way that made him feel inadequate and in return he had laid himself bare, at her feet. It was one of the things plaguing her in this moment, but it wasn’t just that.

It wasn’t realistic to suppose sex could ever take the place of an actual therapy session, but Leah felt it was alarmingly close. Ten years of repressed anger, fear, and sorrow lifted at once, filling her head and heart and she covered her face with her hands, trying to push it all back inside.

Edward had to have known she wasn’t physically hurt, that he hadn’t hurt her, because he simply continued to stroke his hand across her stomach and whisper into her ear that she was everything to him. He allowed her to weep, not pushing her for an explanation.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry,” she finally cried out. “I almost destroyed this for the dumbest reasons. I was scared of everyone rejecting me, of you rejecting me. I fought it so hard.” Her chest heaved with another sob. “And you…you just knew. You never questioned any of it.” She balled her fist into her mouth.

Edward hugged her into his chest, holding her tightly in the steel of his arms. She was trapped, just as she had wanted before.

“Don’t apologize,” he soothed her. “I never wanted an apology. You needed to come to this in your own time, we both did. My issues are my own. You shouldn’t be upset at taking the time you needed. Which if I remember correctly, is exactly something you said to me the other night,” he finished humorously.

“We’re so alike, it’s stupid,” Leah wailed. She locked her arms around his neck and buried her face further into him as he chuckled fondly.

“How can it feel like this? I never thought I could feel like this,” Leah continued. “Nothing has ever been easy. For fuck’s sake, I was the only girl in a gang of hormonal teen boys growing up. They knew most of my thoughts and tortured me with them.” She took a deep breath. “I had to hide when I was in heat, I had to hide when I was angry or upset or even happy, because Spirit forbid I ever be ‘emotional’ and get interrogated as to why.” She pulled back a little from Edward, noticing the wet streaks on his chest and torso.

‘Shit,” she croaked. “I got my snot on you.”

Edward glanced down. “As you might say, I do not give a fuck.”

Leah gave a watery chuckle. “I swear too much.”

“It’s growing on me,” Edward assured her, brushing her hair away from her face. He gazed deeply into her eyes, until she could barely remember what she was crying about. She blinked a few times, expelling the last of her tears.

“My father died and then Sam broke up with me and got with my cousin. I mean I get the imprinting thing a lot better now, but wow, that was humiliating. My mom was barely holding it together and Seth was a child, not understanding why he woke up one day without his dad. It’s the loneliest feeling, trying to explain that to a twelve-year-old, when your mom has the faucet running the bathroom so no one will hear her crying.” Edward rubbed her shoulder comfortingly and kissed down her face. “And then when we phased, having everyone know your pathetic, innermost turmoil about your tragic teen romance. And Sam ignoring it because he didn’t want to have to deal with me. Sweating through my shirt in the middle of class, covered with mud after a patrol, fucking having to run twice as fast as the rest of the boys so they wouldn’t catch a glimpse of me naked when I phased back and foraged for my stack of clothes in the forest. Why the hell did I put up with that?” Leah wondered angrily.

“It wasn’t fair. You had to carry too much,” Edward agreed. “I wish it could have been different for you. I wish I had said something.”

Leah scoffed. “As if I was emotionally intelligent enough to let a vampire help me. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stand looking at any of you. Honestly, not because you were vampires per se, but what you represented. That my shifting into a wolf wasn’t some crazy nightmare, that it was my reality because vampires were in the world. Also…” She paused, embarrassed by her next admission. “Also, I’m pretty sure I had a crush on you and was doing my best bitch impression to suppress it as far down as it could go. So far down, I didn’t even admit it to myself.”

She had realized her constant glimpses at Edward, her excuses to watch Seth and him interacting, was just covering the innate attraction she had felt. It came across to her as wrong at the time and the pack’s reaction would have been swift and ruthless if she had allowed any of it to surface.

 “Yes, I…uh…caught that a few times. Even with getting my wires crossed,” Edward admitted, a little warily.

Leah pushed off against his chest and her eyes widened.

“What? Ugh, as if my humiliation isn’t complete,” she bemoaned.

“You were a child, Lee,” Edward emphasized. “You were sixteen and I was an objectively handsome male, frozen around the same age. It was a natural attraction from a heterosexual teenage girl, and I dismissed it as such. I never thought more of it given I was tortured by the fact that I was sending you all to your death.” He ran a hand down her cheek and then down her side, lifting one of her legs over his. “I felt a certain protectiveness towards all of you, especially with you as the only female and Seth being a child, but we had a hell of a distraction with the impending army.” He shook his head.

“Hmm, and now?” she asked tentatively. Her tears had left dry, salty trails on her cheeks, but she wanted him to kiss her and edged her face closer to his.

He didn’t answer, just fulfilled her silent request. They kissed deeply, their tongues tangling as their lips moved languorously against each other. She could taste herself on him and shivered, remembering how incredible he had just been before she had broken down. Incredible enough to exorcise some of her demons.

“You are so patient…so damn giving…how do I deserve you?” Leah wondered against his lips.

Edward sighed. “You should have everything you want, even if it is my sorry self. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.” He detached from her and settled on his back, Leah’s leg still flung over his. “I’ve done some terrible things.” He scrubbed his hands down his now resigned face and Leah reached back out to him. He wouldn’t escape her this time. She wrapped him in her body, creating her own cage, and he didn’t roll away.

“I want you…I want you to feel comfortable with me. To know you can trust me.” This new vulnerability was foreign to Leah, but she wouldn’t be the one to back down.

“That’s not the issue, Lee. None of my past is easily digestible.” He shook his head upon his pillow and whispered to her, so conflicted. “I worry about the fact that I feel as if I can tell you anything.”

She kissed his bare shoulder. “Then just tell me. There will be no more secrets between us.” She smoothed her hand all over his chest, mildly surprised when she found springy hair under her fingers. She further noticed a fine layer coating his arms and stomach, and tufts in his underarms.  

So weirdly human.

He remained silent for a few minutes, turning over his memories in his head. Leah could only assume he was trying to find the courage to confess his own sins.

“Five,” he finally murmured.

“Five?” Leah questioned.

“I murdered five innocents as a newborn.”

“Oh,” Leah replied, stricken.

His human kill count. Time to face it.

Much like the other night, his story spilled from him as if he had been waiting for the right moment. The right person to confide in.

 “Completely lost to my early bloodlust, I was unable to control myself. Carlisle tried his best, but he was too late in those instances. Did you know, he has never spilled human blood? His restraint is the stuff of myths. He never judged me, but he mourned those souls so much, prayed over each and every body before burying them. The last time he did, he seemed so exhausted, so at war with himself. I wondered if he regretted turning me,” Edward mused in melancholy.

Leah stroked his hair off his forehead.

“But he only held sadness and great empathy for me in his mind. I vowed to obtain his measure of control, to learn from him so I would never lose myself again. It was difficult at first but became easier over a few years. I would recite the names of the ones I killed, and that actually seemed to help.” That sounded so morbid to Leah, so torturous to the point of being counterproductive. “And then…I destroyed everything Carlisle had built.”

“What do you mean?”

Edward paused before answering. “I mean, my sense of self was so inflated after reading minds for so many years, that I incorrectly determined Carlisle was weak. He was too accommodating of humans, too wary of being a true vampire. I rebelled and left him.” He grabbed Leah’s hand and held it against where his heart may have once beat. “He had just turned Esme, and not only did she need supervision as a newborn, but they were slowly realizing their feelings for one another, that they were mates. I hated his coaxing, genteel manner with her.” Leah thought that sounded incredibly sweet but held her tongue. “I ran and I began to drink human blood again, using my gift to pass judgment on the evil beings I encountered. These men and women were true psychopaths, had committed unspeakable crimes. I was judge, jury, and executioner and I delivered justice unto them. Forty-five of them, to be exact. I told myself I was performing a great service, but…” Edward halted his stream of thought, no longer fully present. Leah knew he was conjuring those faces, just as he had recited those names.

“It tore at me, at my soul. Little by little. And then came Marva Hughes.” Leah thought she might be imagining it, but Edward seemed to shudder. “It was the early 30s and I made my home in Brooklyn, only going out at night. She lived in a tenement nearby and had strangled her cousin to death for an insurance payout. Left her body to rot near the Gowanus Canal. I read her mind; she held no remorse for her actions. I stalked her one night, cornered her in some god forsaken alley frequented only by lowlifes and the truly lost. She was terrified, and she should have been. I could see myself through her eyes and I was an incredibly terrifying creature. I had drawn out her fear, made a scene so that she was consumed with escaping me. I was seconds away from draining her. And that’s when I heard it.” Edward paused again, this time out of difficulty in voicing what came next.

Leah was hypnotized by his retelling, the account of him terrorizing this woman so vivid that she had to remind herself that this was a different time, a different place. And that Edward had been a different man.

He finally revealed the climax of his story.

“I heard…a faint heartbeat, in addition to hers.” Leah’s hand went to her mouth involuntarily. “I had been focused on her blood, not her body. Killing is dehumanizing and that informed how I viewed my targets – less than human. I had only just realized she was well into a second term of carrying a fetus. Marva had not given it any thought; she was barely showing and was in denial she was even pregnant, I assume. It didn’t cross her mind once. But that sound told the truth of the matter. As quickly as I had confronted her, I abandoned her to her wretched life, despite my craving for her blood,” he bit out.

“Edward,” Leah breathed out in horror. She wasn’t sure if it was due to his actions, the ones of his intended victim, or the fact he had managed to spare her and the child she was carrying. It was all so grotesque.

His laid his forearm over his eyes like a shield.

“I am exactly what I say I am, Leah. Make no mistake about that. But that night, I could not kill her without staining myself with the blood of the other. I hope for that child’s sake, it was never born. But that was Marva’s choice to make, not mine…not even God’s. I would not be that kind of monster.” His voice cracked, whether in loathing for himself or for Marva, or maybe even the both of them, Leah couldn’t tell.

“Oh, Edward.” Leah pulled his arm gently away from his face and he allowed her to do so. His face was so pained, Leah fleetingly wondered if she had somehow hurt him with that action.

“I returned to Carlisle the next night. He had turned Rosalie while I was away. While she was and can be highly unpleasant, her story is one of agony, and I stopped feeling so much pity for myself. I threw myself at the mercy of Carlisle, acknowledging every single misdeed. Every murder. He and Esme welcomed me back without question, but Carlisle suggested I spend some time atoning. To live in a way that would honor the lives I took. For my own sake. I’ve been trying ever since,” he finished faintly.

Leah was speechless. She gradually sat up against the headboard, releasing Edward’s body but keeping hold of his hand. She numbly noticed her bare legs and, even more so, that she was still half naked. She contemplated gathering her clothes if only for modesty’s sake. But her body refused to move.

There was nothing she could say to change what she had just heard, nothing to redirect the fate of fifty dead by Edward’s hands, innocents and criminals alike. They were dust in the wind, relics of the past only kept alive in the memory of their killer. There was nothing to do except to acknowledge the magnitude of this burden he carried. And accept it.

“Well, I guess the fact that I keyed both Sam’s and Emily’s cars my senior year doesn’t seem so bad just about now,” Leah considered, half-jokingly. Edward laughed wryly and buried his face in her stomach, clutching at her like a lifeline. She combed his unkempt hair with her fingers, admiring the streaks of rowan and chestnut, mixed in with his bronze base.

 “You have seriously great hair,” she crooned in distraction.  

“Is that all you have say?” Edward replied sardonically, muffled by her stomach. She tried to ignore how pleasurably his voice vibrated through her abdomen.

Instead, she wearily threw up her hands.   

“Edward, if you’re looking for someone to keep punishing you, it won’t be me.” Edward tipped his lovely face on its side, squinting up at her with one searching eye. “Yes, you did some reprehensible things, I can admit that. And I can empathize with your victims and never understand what exactly drove you to homicide, other than knowing it’s not easy being a supernatural creature. And human blood is unfortunately your main source of sustenance as a vampire. You were reckless, ruthless, and completely misguided, even with your ‘moral’ code. But…,”

His one eye continued to stare up at her.

“But,” she started again. “It’s not unforgivable. And you’re a good man. Both these things I know. And you continue to live by your word. What else could I possibly ask of you, except to never do it again? And I don’t need to ask it, you’ve already asked it of yourself,” she exclaimed.

He fully turned his face up towards her. “Don’t forget Carlisle,” he stated solemnly

“I mean, how could I?” Leah laughed incredulously. “You are very lucky to have him. The man is a damn saint. Like has he ever been canonized in history? I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Edward smiled, “He’s been pretty close, actually. He’ll have to tell you the story someday.”

“I bet.”

They were silent for a few beats.

“I’m sorry for everything you went through, for the very real burden you have to carry,” Leah softly offered. Edward began to protest but she shushed him. “But you don’t get to be so cruel to yourself Edward, even if you deserved it at one point. I won’t let you. You were a man who lost everything, lost himself, and then came out intact on the other side. I forgive you. Your family forgives you. Accept that, please.”

Edward gazed at her for a moment and relented.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Anything else you’d like to say?” Edward asked, his nerves visibly quieted by her words.

“Yes.” Leah nodded seriously.

“Yes?”

“Mhhm.” Leah twirled her finger at his face, landing it right above his upper lip. “You have a ridiculously cute dimple right here and I want to kiss it.

Edward playfully bit at her finger before tugging her down again, underneath him. Before she knew it, he was kissing her into the mattress, not even giving her space to breathe. In order to avoid suffocating, she moved her lips to his dimple and kissed it repeatedly, like she said she would. And then reached her hand down to investigate the protrusion in Edward’s scrub bottoms that was currently resting against her left leg.

“You seem to have a condition that requires immediate attention, Dr. Cullen,” she teased.

Spirit help me, he’s hard. Very hard.

“Well, remembering how you came on my mouth and those unreal noises you make.” He nibbled at her neck. “It was inevitable.”

“Can I touch you?” she asked, abruptly serious now that she sensed the possibility. “Are you ready for me to?”

Edward stopped tussling with her and looked her squarely in the eye as he propped himself on his elbow Without breaking from her gaze, he locked his hand around her wrist and guided her between their bodies. Leah felt their hands slip beneath the elastic of his scrubs and his boxers and then slide right onto his member. He released her, watching her reaction carefully, as he allowed her to run her hand down his shaft experimentally. He was a lesson in contradictions, hard but also softer, fleshier in this area than on any other part of his body

“You’re big and also…a little warmer down here,” Leah reported in interest, elated that she could finally bring him to his proverbial knees.

“Thank you for the feedback,” Edward strained, his eyes clenching shut. She stroked him a few more times, delighting in him twitching slightly in her hand, before noticing she was wet again. While she certainly didn’t want to release Edward, she was aware she would need to leave soon, and she had a better idea; something that would benefit both of them in the little time they had left.

Without explanation, she removed her hand from his pants and began to rock rhythmically under him, her bare pelvis against his clothed one. Edward’s eyes opened immediately, and he stilled her hips with his hand.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea right this second.” However, he didn’t stop her as she began to move again.

“Of course, it is.” Leah bumped up against him, and he groaned. “It’s just a little dry humping. Now we really fit the profile of sneaky teenagers,” she snickered.

“There’s nothing dry about this,” Edward argued, but he responded when she rocked again, pushing down on her. “You’re very wet…and very warm…and damnit,” he hissed. Leah had slid herself against the outline of his shaft and had grabbed his perfect, sculpted ass, pulling him down onto her.

“I’m not going to last, Lee,” he warned. “I’ve been holding back for too long. From the first time you came to my house…I’ve been denying myself…aahhh.” He winced with pleasure as she rolled her hips up again.

“Then give in,” Leah murmured in his ear. “I’m yours, remember? In this bed. In any bed.”

One of his first ever texts to her resurfaced in her mind.

Hours at a time.

“Yes, you’re mine,” he repeated, finally accepting this was happening, a serrated edge to his voice. He ground his pelvis down on her purposefully now, chasing the sensation as she had done before. Still mostly in control but bringing himself to the cusp. Leah wrapped her legs around him, opening herself further for increased contact.

“And you’re mine,” she responded with conviction. She grabbed his chin and kissed him forcefully, biting down on his bottom lip as they bucked wildly against each other.

He kissed her back roughly but then a rumble grew in Edward’s chest, and he snarled.

“Watch out,” he warned, through gritted teeth. Leah was confused; his hardness bumping up to her clit was making it difficult to focus. That is until she saw Edward sink his mouth into the pillow next to them and she heard it rip. He tore at with his teeth, shredding the cotton casing and releasing the stuffing.

There was a muffled roar and Edward came with a ferocity that left Leah in awe, his angelic face frozen in a haunting expression that somehow conveyed both pleasure and pain. That in addition to the sight of hundreds of feathers flying up into the air, which seconds later, lazily drifted down upon them.

There was surreal quality to that moment as it played out in a lethargic, dreamlike state and Leah stretched out her hand, catching a few in her palm.

Edward had collapsed onto her, and she enjoyed the feel of his weight, the fullness of his body on top of her. She was satisfied that he had finally given himself over to her, content that they were finished, until she felt Edward’s fingers enter her for the second time that afternoon. She squealed in surprise as his thumb circled her clit and he hooked his fingers inside her. It only took a few strokes and a repeat of that curling motion before Leah came again, moaning against his shoulder.

Coated in beads of sweat and feathers, Leah kissed Edward’s neck and he rolled them over to their sides to face each other.

With a smirk, he combed a few of the offending feathers out of her hair.

“Your hair is full of these,” he observed lazily, his eyes and smile teeming with mirth.

“And whose fault is that?” Leah scolded. She could also identify tufts of feathers sticking out of his hair. But she grinned widely, and her heart leapt as she watched his lighthearted expression, the relaxed set of his jaw and shoulders. Even the purple shadows under his eyes were hidden, almost imperceptible at this angle.

She had done that.

A staccato electronic chime sounded distantly from down the hallway, through the open door of the bedroom. Leah had forgotten all about the alarm.

She cocked her head at Edward, and he raised his eyebrows. They simultaneously burst into fits of laughter and fell back onto each other, tumbling to the other side of the bed.

It was safe to assume Leah would be a little late to dinner.   


 

Notes:

Was going to try and fit the Mexican restaurant and Sue and Seth in this chapter, but alas it’s too long. That will be the start of next chapter, and we’ll see more wolf pack as well *yikes*. Thank you so much to regular reviewers, you guys are the best. For any lurkers out there, now is your chance to review/comment and tell me what you think! Until next time 😊

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Notes:

A/N: Apologies for the delay. Don’t own anything except original characters and plotlines. Prepare yourselves, everybody knows!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text





Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you

- Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs







 

“Welcome to La Casa Fiesta, where every day is a party. Are you dining alone?” a bored teenager droned at Leah as he blankly stared past her.  

She had arrived at the restaurant a little disheveled and twenty minutes later than she was expected, but she was here.

“I…uh. There.” She quickly pointed at a table sitting in the center of the dining area, where both Seth and Sue were already seated. Sue was wearing a giant neon colored sombrero atop her head and perusing the menu while Seth glanced up at her from devouring a stacked basket of tortilla chips with guacamole. Normally she would have waved her hand in front of the less than enthusiastic worker to grab his attention and charged past if he couldn’t be bothered, but she was feeling a little reluctant.

La Casa Fiesta was an inauthentic stand in for what passed as Mexican food in this part of the state, but Sue loved it; if only because she found it festive and for the fact that they weren’t stingy with the pour of their margaritas.

She hurriedly made her way to the table, ignoring the tacky crepe paper décor and shiny, hard plastic chairs crowding each table. As she finally sat, Sue exclaimed with surprise while Seth’s eyes grew wider.

What is his deal? I’m not that late.

“Well, well, I thought my own daughter had blown me off on my birthday. Glad you could join us, Lee,” Sue mocked pointedly, shoving her menu towards Leah. Leah shrugged in exasperation, about to chalk up her lateness to class when Seth almost knocked over the table by abruptly standing.

“Seth, what on earth…,” Sue exclaimed.

“Uh, bathroom. Those are bathrooms,” he pointed out to them, his eyes squirrely as he babbled on, nearly incoherent. “I need to go there.”

“Well, thanks for the announcement, honey,” Sue replied tartly. “But you really don’t need to ask for my permission.”  Leah could see her patience wearing thin but Leah attempted to laugh it off.

“Yeah, Seth. You’re a big boy now,” she joked uneasily. Something about his behavior was grating her nerves and she couldn’t pin down what it was.

It was only after she attempted to pull off her jacket and the scent of Edward puffed up around her that her stomach sank through the floor.

Oh no. Oh no no no!

Seth gave her another wide-eyed glance and practically sprinted to the back alcove housing the restrooms.  

“I, uh, I need to wash my hands, be right back.” Leah immediately raced after him, narrowly missing knocking into the waitress sauntering over to their table to take their order. She jumped back in surprise as Sue sputtered out a confused apology for both her children.

Leah couldn’t exactly feel badly about it. She hadn’t done a good enough job removing the Edward off her and as a result, had basically declared herself and her activities to her little brother.

When she and Edward finally disentangled themselves from both the sheets and each other, she had assumed their racing back through the woods would be enough to sweep his scent from her. But then, of course, she just had to pin him against his car for another five minutes in his driveway. While she could still smell him, she had brushed it off as more of a scent memory than anything. She had been around him for weeks and she figured she was the only one attuned to this specific vampire. What were the odds anyone, even her shapeshifting brother would be observant enough to notice after not having a clue over the past few days?

Clearly, she had been wrong. She had overestimated her own efforts, and this definitely sped up her announcement timeline.   

As she turned the corner into the alcove, with it’s mint green walls and low, flickering light she observed only one of the single unit restrooms was occupied. 

After rolling her shoulders and taking a deep breath, she flexed her fingers and gave a calm, measured knock against the door.

She heard shuffling in response.

“Seth,” she growled in a whisper, moving her mouth at a minimum even though she was alone.

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” her brother squeaked out in an oddly high-pitched tone.

Leah rolled her eyes.

“Come out,” she pleaded. “I can explain.” Might as well get this over with.

“Honestly, Lee, I think I’d rather not know why you’re covered in vampire cologne right now,” Seth replied weakly through the wood. “And I mean, I don’t know what you’re doing that close to any vamp.”

Just kill me now.

“Seth…I…have something to tell you. You could make this a hell of a lot easier if I could actually look you in the eye.” Leah strained against the urge to kick the door down and drag him out herself.

There were a few beats of silence before the lock disengaged with a soft click and the door opened slightly. Leah stepped back as her brother stooped out and peeked at her warily, his eyes bouncing from her to the wall behind her as if the offending vamp would materialize out of the plaster.

“That was the wrong answer, Lee. You were supposed to say “what vampire? I don’t smell like vampire’.” Seth fell short of sarcasm into the desperate, panicked whine of someone who wanted to be kept in the dark.

Leah sighed in resignation. “Well, that would be lying,” she confirmed with a sweep of her hand.

If anything, this seemed to freak out Seth more thoroughly than she had ever seen in her life.

“Just…listen,” she broached carefully.

Seth raised his palms and whisper yelled back at her. “Are you kidding? What could you possibly say right now that would explain this?”

“Calm the fuck down,” Leah hissed back, peering down the corridor again to make sure none of the waitstaff had followed them back here in the mini chaos they had created. “You’re being so stupid.”

“You’re stupid,” he retorted, matching her volume.

“For fuck’s sake,” Leah complained, rubbing her palms down her face. “I cannot get into an insult war right now while trying to get this out and with mom waiting at the table. Just shut up and listen.”

To his credit, Seth didn’t open his mouth although he didn’t seem too pleased at the idea of hearing her out. Leah took advantage of his silence.

“Thank you,” she huffed. “Do you remember when I was sick?”

Seth nodded and then his eyes widened further. “Holy shit, did you get bit? Are you like a vampire now?”

Wow.

Leah could only imagine his confusion had knocked all the sense out of his head.

He edged uneasily away from her as he awaited her answer. The kid had watched one too many episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, despite being well versed in real vampires himself.

How the hell are you this dumb? Leah internally shrieked.

She almost lost it but then managed to compose herself. “No, no Seth. I am obviously not a vampire.” she ground out impatiently.

Seth crossed his massive arms expectantly. “Then?”

Leah took another deep breath. “I wasn’t actually sick. I was upset…because of something that happened.” Seth furrowed his forehead. “But I’m not upset about it anymore. I’m really happy and excited about it. But also anxious, but not because of him, just because everyone is going to react and have an opinion, even though it’s none of their business…,” Leah rambled defensively around the point she was trying to make as she stared past Seth.  

Seth shook his head, completely lost. “What are you even talking about?”

Leah finally grabbed Seth by the shoulders and willed the words out of her mouth. “I’m saying I imprinted.”

The air crackled with her admission and somewhere in the back of her mind, a bomb exploded. The kind that razed her doubts to the ground. Instead of wanting to sink into the floor, she somehow felt…lighter.

“Whoa, what?” Seth looked shell shocked.

Well, let’s hit him with the whole thing.

“I imprinted. On a vampire. And it’s been the craziest but also kind of the best month of my life, and I don’t know how to explain it other than it happened…” she trailed off.  

“What the fuck?” Seth almost shouted. “I didn’t even think that was possible. You haven’t shifted in like… years.” He pulled at his hair by the root and paced in front of her.

“I know, I know, it was a shock to me too. Believe me, Sam couldn’t make heads or tails of it either…”

“Sam knows you imprinted on a vampire?!”

“Would you keep your voice down,” Leah whispered back harshly. “Yes, he knows. He knows.”

Seth shook his head in disbelief, not fully entertaining the idea of Sam approving of this.

 “And he’s okay with it. I think,” Leah added uneasily.

She hadn’t spoken to Sam at all and the way things had progressed, it was unclear where his thoughts now lay. While she had mentally excluded him to this point, she couldn’t help but be nervous at what his inevitable involvement would be. And the thought of him and Paul sitting on the secret prickled at her uncomfortably.

I should probably text him.

“Who? Do I know them?” Seth finally spat out in bewilderment. “Who would even…who?”

Leah prepared herself for his reaction.

“You do. And you always seemed to like him,” she offered with a hesitant smile, trying to soften the shock of this blow. “You guys were buddies."

"What? Buddies? When was I…. ohhhhhhhh.” Realization had finally struck for Seth and his back hit the wall. “Holy shit, Cullen? You imprinted on Edward Cullen?!” To Leah’s surprise, laughter bubbled up and out of Seth and he bent over and slapped his knees.

Leah was taken aback.

“Yeah, it’s Edward. And it’s not funny ha ha, Seth. What is wrong with you?” Leah grumbled. “You have no idea about the utter fuckery I’ve been through…”

“This is priceless,” Seth hooted, ignoring her. “You and Cullen. That’s hilarious.”

“What are you talking about?” Leah shot back, teetering on the line between annoyance and anger. Of all the ways, this was not how she expected Seth to react. She was clearly missing something.

“Oh, oh, nothing Lee,” Seth managed to reply, trying to hold back more laughter. “You only had the biggest, borderline insane crush on Cullen.” His mocking smile stretched wide across his face as he took in Leah’s dumbstruck expression.

“That is ridiculous.” Leah had done a good job of burying her feelings, she knew she had. “There is no way…”

“Oh, okay,” Seth replied sarcastically. “Don’t try to deny it. You were so mean to the guy. It was obvious you were overcompensating. We thought you might just snap and kill him for making you like him. And now…” Another wave of fresh laughter overtook him and now they were definitely attracting attention. A few busboys stared down the corridor in curiosity at Seth’s obnoxious squawking as they made their way into the dining room.

“Seth, shut up!

“I remember one time you went out of your way to not hold a door for him and it almost crashed into his face, except he caught it obviously. The guy then apologized to you and you couldn’t even look at him. And the rest of the time you basically glared at him from across the room.” Seth shook his head. “That’s some patented Leah Clearwater flirting right there.”

“You didn’t even know what flirting was! You were what? Ten?” Leah was feeling homicidal as the blood rushed to her face.

“Uh, I was thirteen, thank you very much. And everyone loved me. And you were fooling no one.” Leah rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms self-consciously.

“It was like a miniscule crush, and no one even knew,” she argued, desperately trying to undercut the memory.

“Ha, I did. I guess you willed it into existence,” Seth beamed. “I tried to be a good little brother and be the friendly bridge between you two. Although he wasn’t the issue.” Seth added pointedly.

Leah ignored it.

 “Anyway, I always liked Cullen.” Seth continued. “He’s chill.”

Oh yeah, so chill. So chill he basically wants me in every possible way for all time. And I want to literally meld into him so we can be one for all of eternity. This whole thing is so damn chill.  

Leah kept that particular thought to herself and finally cleared her throat, her embarrassment abating a little.

“So you’re not freaked out? That I’m with Edward…a vampire. Basically forever,” she hedged to her brother, who seemed slightly more relaxed about the entire situation.

“Well, it’s kinda crazy that this happened. And the thought of Cullen’s scent all over you makes me want to gag,” he admitted with a shiver of disgust and Leah punched him in his shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You deserved that.”

“It’s gross. Please never give me details about how you two got together.”

Leah laughed sarcastically. “If there’s anything that qualifies as gross in this family, it’s you. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

“Uh, seriously?” Seth sneered. Leah turned back towards the alcove entrance and Seth followed, the both of them taking their time as they made their way back. “You came in smelling like you took a bath in vamp sweat.”

Leah shrugged casually, glowing internally that Seth didn’t seem absolutely revolted by her. At least not for the reasons that had previously kept her up at night. It felt good to have someone in her corner.

 “Vampires don’t sweat. And at least he smells good.”

Seth shuddered. “Ugh, please stop. My ears are about to start bleeding.”

Leah snickered evilly.

They were almost back to the table, with Sue glaring them both down when Seth shook her shoulder lightly.

Leah paused, half because she didn’t want to face Sue just yet.

“What?’

“You’re like…okay and stuff, right? Like it’s all copacetic?” Seth shifted uncomfortably next to her as he attempted to pass of the question with something approaching disinterest, but Leah could detect the hint of concern behind his words.

She was Seth’s big sister. She would never not feel the urge to shield him from harm.

And it seemed he recognized that. She could only imagine he was focused on her crying jag and strange behavior and everything Sue had told him about her comings and goings the past few weeks. Besides the fact that Leah planned to torture him endlessly for his sincerity, she was beyond touched.

She drew out his discomfort. “Copacetic?”

“Yeah, like you seem to like the guy and you said you were happy.” He shrugged. “I’m assuming you’re glad you imprinted…or whatever?”

Leah shook her head and smiled wryly. “It was a complete surprise. But yeah, I really like the guy.”  

“Cool. And I think it’s good Sam knows.” Seth shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and ducked his head. “But man, poor Edward. I wouldn’t wish you on my worst enemy, let alone him.”

Leah punched him again in his other shoulder.

“Ow! Stop hitting me you psycho or I’m telling mom,” he yelped.

“Such a crybaby,” Leah teased mercilessly.

They stopped abruptly at the table as the expression on Sue’s face threatened to eviscerate and burn them to ash at the same time.

“Mom, I…”

“Mom, she…”

“Enough,” Sue cut them off ruthlessly. “Sit.”

She and Seth immediately dropped to their seats.

Sue had already gone ahead and ordered and received her plate of fajitas, and she pointed at Leah first with the same fork that was nestled in her beans and rice.

“I don’t understand what has been going on with you lately. You’re moody, bad tempered, secretive, and now very late to my birthday. This stops now. You’re going to tell me everything.”

Sue wasn’t asking.

“Mom, Leah’s always bad tempered and moody…,” Seth began with a weak attempt to deflect, probably anticipating Sue’s cataclysmic reaction as much as Leah was.

“And you,” Sue turned her fork to him. “Unless you were about to sneakily tell the waiter to bring me a dessert for my birthday, you definitely know something.” She glanced between the two of them. “What is it? Is this a need-to-know basis wolf thing?”

Seth immediately jumped on the out she was apparently providing them.

“Yes,” Seth gushed. “Very need to know wolf…thing.”

Leah interrupted evenly. “It has to do with shapeshifting, but also me personally, Mom.”

Sue threw up her hands. “Well then I think I should know!”

Leah gave Sue a full, clear gaze. Before Edward, no one even rivaled the position Sue held in her life. She was her mother, her confidante, the one person she couldn’t stand disappointing and the first person she told of both her minor achievements and crippling failures. Leah didn’t want to hide Edward from anyone, least of all her own mother. Whatever Sue’s initial reaction was going to be, she was strong enough to hold the information, to mold it to her reality and allow room for it. Sue would do it because it was what Leah wanted.

 She didn’t have to be afraid; her mother would always be on her side.

“You’re right,” Leah stated calmly. “We’re all adults. Well, some of us.” Seth made a face.

The waitress dropped by the table again in that that moment, delivering a pitcher of sloshy neon pink liquid filled with ice cubes and a handful of lowball glasses.

“They’re strawberry margaritas. I wanted them,” Sue preempted, anticipating Seth and Leah’s comments about the color. “Now tell me, please, what is going on.” She focused back on Leah.

Here goes nothing.

Her breath streamed through her lips as Leah tried to find the correct words.

“I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Well, yeah, no kidding.” Sue rolled her eyes. “I gathered that much from the dress you wore on Saturday.”

“I…oh, yeah. Yes, that was for a date,” Leah conceded. She really was not nearly as stealthy as she thought she was being. At least not enough for her mother.

“No duh, Lee. Who is the person who has twisted my daughter into knots and is the reason behind her lying to me?”

Now it was Leah’s turn to roll her eyes. “That’s a little dramatic.”

“Well, you lied to me.”

“I didn’t really lie! And I’m telling you now!”

“Then?” Sue pursed her lips as she waited for an answer.

“It’s Edward Cullen!” Seth finally revealed in a rush of words. He worriedly glanced between them, aware he had just word vomited Leah’s biggest secret.

Leah shook her head, but she couldn’t be angry, exactly. Seth had taken care of one of the hard parts.

She eyed her mother nervously as Sue processed this information.

“Edward…Cullen?” Sue repeated slowly, turning the name over her tongue.

Leah nodded.

“Yes, we’ve been seeing each other. And he’s an amazing guy. And it’s serious,” she added for good measure, just to set expectations for where this conversation would lead.

Sue spread her fingers out on the table in front of her.

“Edward as in Dr. Cullen’s son?” Sue asked, still slightly perplexed at what she was hearing.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t he…?”

“Yes,” both Seth and Leah immediately answered before Seth shut his mouth upon seeing Leah’s pointed glare.

“Is that allowed?” Sue asked hesitantly. Leah could see she was out of her depth, testing the waters on what she could and couldn’t ask her shapeshifting children. The lack of confidence she felt in this area unsettled Leah, mostly because she wanted her mother’s unvarnished opinion; not one colored by the biases of the pack.

“Sam knows,” Leah offered, but she hurriedly sought to put any questions of treaties and boundaries to rest. “But it doesn’t matter, Mom. This is my life and I choose Edward, regardless of what others say. Nothing will change that.” Her statement left nothing to question and even Sue could see how earnest she was.

“And it’s serious,” Sue repeated.

Leah calmly nodded again, even as her stomach leapt at the idea of her mother’s disapproval.

Sue said nothing as she righted one of the glasses the waitress provided and poured herself a healthy serving of margaritas from the pitcher.

“None for you. You’re driving me home,” she stated firmly as she locked eyes with Seth and slammed back the drink in the same breath.

“Mom?” Leah approached. This didn’t feel promising.

Sue put up a finger indicating Leah needed to wait as she finished drinking. With a deep breath, Sue finally set her glass back down.

“Is he dangerous?” Sue fixed Seth with an owlish glare.

This is ridiculous.

“Of course not, he-!” Leah started.

“I’m not asking you,” Sue chided Leah. “I would like answers from an independent party, not the lovestruck fool.”

That’s a little harsh.

Leah stewed as Seth reluctantly replied.

“I mean, yeah. Of course, he is. He is what he is.” Seth hurriedly amended his statement as Leah threw silent curses his way. “But not to Leah. And he’s been an ally of the pack since the beginning.”

Sue rubbed her hands down her face, undoubtedly feeling the alcohol coursing through her system.

“Is there any danger of him…drinking her?” Sue forced out.

“What, no!” Seth spluttered. “No, vamps don’t like our blood at all.”

“And what about…he’s not a people drinker, right? I’ve never actually met him but I feel like his father wouldn’t approve if that was the case,” Sue hypothesized. Sue knew enough to understand Carlisle Cullen was a peaceful and charitable pillar of his community and setting Edward free on the Forks populace would be less than ideal for him.

“No,” Leah ground out, forcing her way back into the conversation. “Mom, he hunts animals. And he has done so much to ensure all our safety, you have no idea. He would never hurt us.”

Sue examined her for a moment before turning back to Seth.

“And Edward…he’s a good person?”

“You just heard Leah.” Seth shrugged. “He’s always followed the treaty and never been anything but decent to any of us. Some guys in the pack still don’t trust him, but that’s more their hang up than anything he’s done.”

Leah pushed back thoughts of Edward’s reveal of James, Victoria, and the Volturi. While they unequivocally were not his fault, not everyone would likely be as gracious as she and Sam if they knew the whole truth.

“Mom,” Leah tried again in a soothing tone. “Have I ever given you a reason to doubt my judgment? He is a wonderful person. He cares for me so much and I trust him, completely.”

Sue stared down her glass again as Leah continued.

“And the same goes for me. I tried to fight what binds us, and I won’t anymore. I won’t be without him,” she stated decidedly looking between both her mother and brother. The finality of her statement seemed to shock both of them. If they only knew how deeply this commitment ran. “And I’m not asking permission. But I don’t want to hide, and I did want to share this with you. It’s important to me that you know about this.”

“And what exactly binds you?” Sue asked, shrewdly picking up on that detail.

Leah’s mouth opened and shut as she contemplated explaining the mechanics of imprinting. She decided against it in order to ease Sue into the idea of Edward first. It was immaterial to Leah at least.

“My feelings. Our feelings for each other.”

Sue clasped her fingers together and took a moment while Seth cleared this throat. He shook his head as the waitress stopped by again to fill their waters and ask if Seth and Leah were planning on ordering anything.

At this point, food was the last thing on anyone’s mind. Leah ignored the loaded silence and continued, a little more desperately than before.

“I’m old enough to know what I want. And who I want. And you can accept it or not. But know I won’t stop seeing him while you decide what you want to feel.”

“Now who’s being dramatic?” Sue swept out her hand. “I’m just trying to make sense of this, Lee. This is all very sudden…”

“Okay, take all the time you need,” Leah offered, slightly annoyed though she was unsure exactly why. She knew what her mother was asking was very reasonable. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel a small flicker of disappointment that Sue hadn’t enthusiastically accepted the situation as it was.

“Sweetie, I’m going to need to take that time. And I trust you. But you wanted a lot out of your life, isn’t it a little premature to say this guy is the -.”

“He is. He’s the one for me. And I still want a lot of things out of my life, he’ll be along for all of them.”

Sue sat stunned. But Leah could see the small crack of resignation in her expression.

“I just, I’ve never seen you like this,” Sue sighed. “I’m not going to tell you who you can and can’t date, Lee, but know that this idea is something I need to get used to, even without the supernatural bits. And to be so serious…it would kill me if you got hurt again. I couldn’t bear it if he hurt you.” There was a touch of anguish Sue’s voice and Leah swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew Sue didn’t strictly mean in the typical vampire sense.

“He would never. If it’s in his control, he would die before he let anything harm me.” Leah knew this to be true.

“Well, he sounds like a very noble individual.” Sue waved her hands around. “This all feels really intense and I just had two margaritas in the same glass. Let’s pay and go home and maybe we can discuss this in a less…festive setting. And make a plan to meet-.”

“You want to meet him?” Leah interrupted again, hopefully.

“Yes, Lee. That is non-negotiable.”

“Yes! Of course, yes!” Leah gushed, barely believing her luck. Her mother was at least meeting her part of the way, despite everything Seth or Sam or even Leah had confided in her about vampires. It was more then Leah could ask for at this point. “I mean it will have to be off rez because he can’t come to La Push because of the treaty, but he’ll be so excited.”

“Okay, take it easy,” Sue smiled ruefully. “I have to say, seeing you this giddy and pushy about someone is giving me anxiety.”

“Oh, and Seth!” Leah exclaimed. “You should join. Edward’s been wanting to catch up with you.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Seth mumbled, playing with his water glass. But she could see the small smile that formed on his face at her excitement. For the first time since Leah could remember, she was actually the cause of the contagiously awkward happiness building between the three of them. She got to bask in it for a whole minute before the inevitable happened.

It’s your birthday! Happy, happy Birthday! Feliz cumpleańos, hey hey! Happy, happy birthday…

A smattering of apron clad wait staff surrounded them, one at the front carrying a piece of tres leches cake on a platter while a sparkler candle crackled threateningly above it. They set it down in front of Sue as they sang, oblivious to the dramatic confrontation that had just taken place.  

Seth shrugged sheepishly. “I did manage to tell a waiter it was your birthday, right when we got here,” he explained over the noise.

Sue clapped and smiled, although it didn’t reach her eyes. She looked sideways at Leah as she blew out the candle, still hesitant, but then she reached out her hand.  

Leah grabbed it and Sue squeezed, a promise apparent in the gesture and Leah’s heart swelled.

It was a start.

However, any uplifting vibes that followed Sue and Seth’s surprised but slowly formed acceptance disappeared the minute Leah pulled into the gravel drive of their house. An expressionless Sam stood with arms crossed on the front doorstep, his presence bearing down on them as Leah stepped out of her car. She could hear Seth pull in behind her as Sam met her eyes. He gave nothing away.

Leah didn’t move until she heard Sue call out to Sam.

“Hi Sam, did you need something? I hope you weren’t waiting long, we were just at dinner.”

Sam’s expression softened as he addressed her mother back, the respectful and deferential mask in place for Sue.

“Not at all, Sue. You didn’t think I’d forget your birthday, did you?” Sam teased as he gave Sue a quick kiss on the cheek as she met him at the door. Sue tittered girlishly and Leah rolled her eyes as she reluctantly made her way up.

“That’s all? You didn’t need to stop by just for that,” Sue smiled back.

Sam hesitated as he glanced back at Leah.

“There is something else, if I could get a moment with Leah and Seth.”

Leah was surprised and expectant all at once. This moment had been a long time coming and yet she felt utterly unprepared. Still, she squared her shoulders and nodded at Sam.

“Yes, I think we need to talk.”

“Me too?” Seth questioned uneasily, pointing at himself. Leah felt a small pang of guilt that he was being roped in just by virtue of being part of the pack.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sue held out her hands, no longer glowing under Sam’s well wishes, quickly picking up the hidden meaning behind his visit. “This is pack business?”

Sam nodded. “It is.”

“Are you and all the other guys planning on ganging up on my daughter because of Edward Cullen?” Sue asked warily, her defenses fully raised. She took a step back, whipping her face between the three of them.

Sam laughed nervously. “I’m not sure exactly what you mean Sue, but I can promise-.”

“No. No. No.” Sue shook her head vehemently and Leah was shocked to find splotches of red appearing on her neck and face, and that distinctive vein on her forehead protruding out. Leah had never seen her mother this angry with anyone who wasn’t family.

Not angry. Furious.

“I’m sorry?” Sam asked, now clearly off his guard. Leah couldn’t but feel a little wave of pleasure at his discomfort.

“You have asked so much over the years, Sam,” Sue’s voice shook as she spoke. “I have trusted you every step of the way. I allowed my children, my children, to get caught up in all of this because you assured me, they would be safe. That the only way to move forward was with the pack.”

“It was, it is. We’ve made sure anyone who wanted to move beyond the pack was given the choice-.”

“What choice?” Sue bellowed. Leah’s arm jerked reflexively, and she settled her hand on Sue’s shoulder.

“Mom, it’s okay.”

Sue shrugged her off. “It’s not okay. It’s never okay.” Tears filled her eyes as she covered her face and the rest of them helplessly watched. “You know how hard this was on Leah, more so than anyone else. What she put up with. And I didn’t do a damn thing. The guilt is something you should now know, with a child of your own. How would you feel if it had been Grace?”

Sam remained silent.

“That’s what I thought,” Sue accused as she wiped her eyes. “Children leading children, and I couldn’t do a damn thing. Was told it was a need-to-know basis, and I couldn’t fight back because I was grieving and didn’t see. Well, I can today.” Resolve straightened Sue’s spine. “You don’t get to tell Leah who she can see. If she wants to see Edward Cullen, she will. If you want us all to move off rez to make this possible, I will do it in a heartbeat, Sam. Don’t think I won’t. You don’t decide her future. I do, with Leah. I am her mother. This is her life. The pack has no place in this decision. Not anymore.” Sue’s final statement reverberated between them and Leah couldn’t deny she was impressed by Sue’s fierce show of protectiveness. Of course, she knew Sue had it in her, but Leah had underestimated the intensity of feeling Sue still held about them shifting. The regrets and the guilt.

In their little circle, there was enough to go around.

Sam attempted to speak but all that came out was a small, choked sound.

Leah bit her lip and crossed her arms, attempting not to smile. It was completely inappropriate and yet she felt laughter build inside her.

Sam finally tried again and managed to get out a few more words.

“So Leah told you…everything?” Sam hedged carefully.

“I did, Sam. I told her Edward and I are together, and it’s serious,” Leah sharply replied, communicating with her eyes and words that he shouldn’t bring up anything related to imprinting.

“Yes,” Sue affirmed. “My daughter shouldn’t have to hide things from me.”

“I agree,” he conceded quietly. “And please don’t think I don’t understand what Leah has sacrificed. What we’ve all sacrificed.”

Sue’s stare was still hard and unyielding.

“I am simply asking,” Sam reassured her, shifting his eyes back to Leah, “that we be as transparent about this as possible to avoid any miscommunications or misunderstandings. To discuss this in a controlled environment where I can ensure none of the other pack will take it upon themselves to do as they see fit.”

A month ago, Leah would have almost encouraged this response. Now it just made her queasy, the possibility of any of the pack, blinded with self-righteousness and purpose, acting on their own.

“Leah and Seth have both assured me Edward Cullen isn’t a danger to her or any of us. I trust my daughter’s judgment,” Sue stated firmly. “What reason would anyone have to go after him?”

Sam sighed in frustration. “Sue, it’s so much more complicated than that. I fully trust Leah, but you know what he is. I don’t doubt their intentions are good, but it’s not impossible for even the most conscientious of vampires to lose control.”

“He would never harm me,” Leah contradicted in annoyance. “You don’t know him.”

“Well, Leah, if you had answered any of my calls and texts the last few weeks, maybe I would know a little more than I do now! Which is next to nothing!” Sam shot back and then immediately retreated. “I’m sorry, I just do not want an incident on our hands. A full war, at the worst.”

He turned to Leah, pleading with her. “You came to me for help, in the beginning. Let me help, please. I’m just asking for an hour, tops.”

Everyone remained silent until Sue’s ill-timed hiccupping broke the tension between them.

Seth rubbed his hands down his face as Leah pulled her hair into a ponytail, shrugging at Sam as he stared back at her.

“Excuse me,” Sue said stiffly. “I need some water. I’m going to go inside.” She paused before turning away completely, jiggling her house keys thoughtfully. “But know that Leah is going to tell me everything, and if I don’t like what I hear, that won’t end well for you. Do you understand me?”

Sam nodded slowly.

“Good, don’t keep them out too late, I want to open my presents.” Sue swayed as she entered the house and left the door wide open behind her. Seth followed and closed it from the outside with a quiet click.

“Uh, has your mother been drinking?” Sam asked, dumbstruck by Sue’s outburst.

“Yes,” Leah confirmed cheerily. “But I promise she meant every word. You better be nice.”

An unexpected wave of anxiety and fear finally appeared on Sam’s face and Leah’s smile quickly disappeared as her stomach lurched. The wind ramped up and swept through the spruce trees on the east edge of the yard and Leah involuntarily shivered.

 Sam was remarkably even keeled and solid, under the worst kinds of stress, and this did not bode well.

“It’s not me you gotta worry about, Lee. We need to hurry,” Sam demanded, the urgency picking up in his voice. He had obviously hid the full extent of the situation from Sue.

Just as well. Sue still needs some protecting.

“What do you mean?” Seth asked as he hurried down the front stoop. Leah was unsure he even knew what he was doing in that moment, just that his body was automatically conditioned to react at the first sign of danger, real or perceived.

“Seth, wait,” Leah called after him and he stopped, waiting to be told what to do by either of them. Practically pleading with them with his eyes to let him know what should come next, the youthfulness and innocence in his expression overtaking the strength he usually projected with his giant stature. Leah would have felt terrible if tendrils of a dark and desperate fear weren’t unwinding through her body. “Why do we need to hurry? Who knows?” she hurled at Sam, trying not to imagine the worst.

Sam shook his head, his eyes wide. “Everyone. It’s everyone.”







The La Push recreation center was located in the main square of the reservation, not too far from the entrance and within walking distance of about a dozen of the pack’s houses. So Leah wasn’t surprised to only observe a few stationary vehicles in the small lot that bordered the building. Sam pulled into the spot next to her and Seth, and Leah pushed her gear into park.

She didn’t let the sparsely filled lot fool her. She knew exactly what was waiting for her inside.

She checked her phone again, reading and rereading the several texts she had neglected to see during dinner. She winced at the number sent from Jake.

J: Lee, some weird shit is going down. Some of the pack have been spreading rumors and it’s obviously bullshit. Can you give me a call?

J: It’s been weeks…are you still sick?

J: So Sam isn’t texting me back, and he’s put me on mental block now too. What the hell is going on?

J:  Are you with him??? Can one of you call me back??

J: Paul just told me he saw you out with Edward  Cullen, of all people. Is this true?

J: Lee, you’re freaking me out. Just answer me.

J: You owe me an explanation. After everything, I deserve that much.

And then the messages cut off, the last one timestamped an hour before. Leah sank in her seat, able to distinguish the flat, disappointed tone of Jake’s last text.

But there was also a long and adoring one from Edward.

E: Hoping your mother has an excellent birthday. I wish there was a world where I ate Mexican food : ). Back at the hospital and missing you something awful. I think Nurse Robins thinks I’m sick or anxious, because I am unusually distracted tonight and she has to repeat my name to get my attention. How do I tell her it’s not something but someone? That if she ripped open my chest, she would see my still heart beats only for you. Look at me, foolishly penning my own terrible poetry in text. And I think I would scare Nurse Robins to death if I suggested she do anything to my chest.  But it’s the truth. Every second away from you is spent wishing you were back in my arms. Every second with you is spent wishing you would never leave. Since that’s not exactly conducive to modern living, I’ll settle for this cheap, electronic imitation of closeness. But know, even then, I cherish it. I cherish you. Always. Call me before you go to sleep, so I can send you sweet dreams. I know, I know, roll your eyes all you want. I’ll never stop proclaiming to the world how much I am helplessly, utterly, without a question…yours.

Leah gently brushed her finger over his text, as if to preserve it in her memory.

Such a cheeseball, she thought affectionately. But his words hooked into her, made her breath catch until she was dizzy, and her imprint bond was set aglow once again.

I love you, Edward.

He gave her the resolve to pull herself together. There was nothing left to do but the inevitable.

“Right,” she said as she and Seth followed Sam inside. “Since you promised not to throw me to the proverbial wolves, pun intended, what exactly is the plan?”

Sam took a moment before pushing through the double doors to the main hall from the lobby, fixing his expression into something calmer and more authoritative before answering. But Leah noted the flashes of nervousness that preceded it.

“I can’t promise this will be pleasant, Lee. But know I gathered everyone here for you. You deserve to be heard. Just trust that it’s going to be okay.” Sam nodded at her once, asking permission to move forward and Leah slowly nodded back, her heart hammering. She felt Seth briefly clasp her shoulder in solidarity before the three of them made their entrance.

The main hall of the rec center was cavernous, the build financed by some rez affiliated corporation with free-flowing cash during the heydays of the 90s. The exposed beams on the steepled ceiling soared above them and Leah noticed a number of folding tables had been assembled along the back wall, probably in preparation for the weekly bingo night that would take place in a couple days. A bag full of lacrosse equipment and basketballs and volleyballs in various stages of deflation were crowded into a dusty corner, forgotten for the moment. Soon enough, when the weather improved, several volunteers would flood the space and resurrect everything into working shape.

But for now…

Leah counted at least twenty pack members warily eyeing her as she followed Sam to a row of metallic folding chairs in the front of the room. Paul sat sprawled in one of the chairs, only rising as Sam approached him, Leah looking over his shoulder. Paul tipped the brim of his chief’s hat at them as Leah frowned back.

Seth quietly broke off to join Collin and Brady to the side. When Leah turned to face everyone, she was taken aback by Jacob standing on the direct opposite end of the room, his eyes piercing through her. He quietly glowered at her, and his barely contained hostility was pushing through his carefully arranged features. Leah found herself getting worked up before anyone had said a word.

Come at me, Jake.

She remembered that Sam, had done this for her and she had to trust he was doing the right thing for all of them. Whatever the fuck this was. But she wouldn’t spend the entire time defending her choices, she hoped that much was clear.

She crossed her arms defensively, trying to communicate strength with her stance, and settled a little as Sam addressed the room.

“Right,” Sam’s voice rang out clearly. “We have a matter to discuss and it has to do with one of our own. I would ask, before we begin, you demonstrate patience and restraint. That’s an order. You defy it, you defy me. Understood?”

A cacophony of mumbled agreements and uncomfortable rustling made its way through the pack and Leah squeezed her arms tighter.

“Well, I guess that’s my cue,” Paul muttered. “Sam, I didn’t mean to make a whole bother, but I thought you should know. That you should all know,” he emphasized, directing his gaze onto Leah.

The fucking nerve.

But Leah didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of cowering or looking down. She gave Paul an exaggerated smile.

“Thanks so much, Paul!” she exclaimed sarcastically. “I’m so lucky that you didn’t consult me before telling everyone about my life. Makes it so much easier.”

Paul didn’t wait for her to finish before ducking his head and striding through the entrance doors, her voice rising with every word as he walked away. She hoped he felt her eyes on him the whole way out.

“Uh, okay.” Sam cleared his throat and began again, ignoring the clear hostility emanating off Leah. “Like I said, we have -.”

“What’s this about Leah and Cullen?” Embry piped up from the side, his words dripping with attitude, likely due to Leah’s reaction to Paul. She could always count on that set of brothers to stick together.

Leah had been wholly unprepared for that name to leave any of the pack’s lips. She felt a deep-seated possessiveness she fought to shake, but it was no use. Edward had sunk into every fiber of her being and she felt her nerves vibrate at the mention of him.

“It’s not my place to say,” Sam replied stoically. “I’m giving Leah the floor.” He gestured for Leah to step forward and take the reins of this hellish town hall.

She did, but before she could even open her mouth, Quil stood, his black hair wet and slicked back as if he had just taken a shower. Leah absently noted most of these guys had probably been ending their days or in the middle of dinner. She was the last person who wanted to keep them here, though.

“This isn’t anything to do with the massive thing you had for Cullen, is it? Back in the day?” Quil prompted, his eyes narrowing in accusation.

Leah’s mouth dropped open, completely gob smacked.

“How…what?” she sputtered incoherently. “I never had a thing for Edward back in the day.”

“Whoa, are you serious?” Embry sneered. “Everyone knew! Seth included!”

Leah turned to Seth who shrugged helplessly at her, confirming to Leah that she really had fooled no one.

“We even took bets -,” Quil followed up.

“Yes, I’ve heard. Thank you,” Leah grumbled, attempting to ignore Sam’s own uneasy reaction as he stared at her.

“Yo, raise your hand if you knew Leah had a crush on Cullen,” Embry snickered. Almost every shifter raised their hand, with the exception of a few of the younger boys, and Sam who was rubbing his eyes.

“This is not productive,” he rolled out, already bored with the boys’ antics. “Let’s get back -.”

Quil perked up again. “Sam, don’t tell me you didn’t know! You know everything about everyone.”

Sam raised his hands. “My focus was and is the pack, not teenage crushes.” Leah huffed in annoyance and he backtracked. “I mean, none of it was my business if it’s even true.”

The pack devolved into side conversations and chuckling and even Sam couldn’t get them back on topic. It continued for a few more minutes until Leah heard the thud of Jake’s boots against the wooden floor.

“This has to be a joke, what the hell are you talking about?” The iciness of Jake’s voice finally sounded above the others, enough to render everyone else silent, dispelling the lightness of the last few minutes. He stepped forward to the middle of the room, still a comfortable distance away. But there was nothing welcome in his expression.

It chilled Leah and she felt her anger grow in response.

“Leah hated vamps. She still hates vamps. She wouldn’t be caught dead mooning over that pretty boy leech. Not now. Not ever,” he finished, his voice dangerously soft.

Sam recovered and asked Jake to step back as Leah observed Jake transform from her easygoing, jovial drinking buddy to the man wracked with a seething resentment of all things vampire.

The conversations they used to have, each of them competing against the other to come up with the most creative method to kill a vampire, were not so far removed from Leah’s memory that she couldn’t remember. She knew he still thought they shared the same sentiments, the same destructive ideology: Jake, like her, had barely tolerated the Cullens. But while she had been afraid, his loathing ran deeper, for reasons even Leah wasn’t privy to.

And whatever they were, Jake would just have to deal.

Leah shook her head. “I don’t feel that way, Jake. I’ve changed. A lot of things have changed.”

“And what the hell does that mean?” Jake bristled, the bulging muscles of his arms flexing threateningly.

Leah flinched at his tone, but it didn’t frighten her. Despite the show of power, she knew exactly who she was dealing with: Jake was still her punk ass friend who she sucker punched in the fifth grade.

“It means exactly that. Things have changed. And I don’t hate vamps.”

“So it’s true?” Brady interrupted in a small voice, unable to manage his curiosity. “You imprinted?”

Leah took a cleansing breath before she could swallow her response. Telling Sue and Seth had felt natural, as if the truth was supposed to come to light.

This was so much more difficult.

The beautiful and endlessly frustrating sensation that was her imprint bond was hers and hers alone. And now, the private manifestation of her innermost emotions would be set on display, clumsily scrutinized by a bunch of emotionally stunted guys who didn’t have the capacity to understand it.

She could only do her best to explain.  

Like ripping off an especially stubborn ass band-aid.

“About a month ago, I imprinted on Edward Cullen.” The whole room gasped in unison, their suspicions and rumors not even preparing them for Leah’s admission. Sam stood tight lipped but shifted to her side, the heat from his body warming her arm. “Most of you know I decided to move past the pack in every way that matters many years ago, so this was clearly unexpected. I did not go looking for it and it was definitely not a misguided attempt to rekindle some crush I had as a kid.” She heard Embry scoff and disregarded it. “It is just something that happened to me. And while it was…complicated, for a while, I can say I’m better for it. Edward and I are together. We’re happy. I’m happy.”

Leah ended confidently, if a little awkwardly, and her words lay in the middle of the room, waiting for someone to pick them up and pitch them back at her. She was ready.

Luckily Sam was the first to recover. “Leah and I have discussed this and she has my full backing and support. You are all well aware of the protections extended to imprintees and this is no exception. While Edward Cullen will still respect the boundaries of the treaty, and Leah has agreed he will not set foot in La Push, no one in this pack will interfere with a former or present pack member’s imprint. No one,” Sam emphasized, his tone not brooking any argument. Leah noticed a few uncomfortable head nods in response, but her vision was filled with Jake, his face twisting into equal parts disgust and disbelief.

Oh no.

“You can’t be serious,” he whispered harshly at first, and then he raised his voice. “You can’t be fucking serious, Sam!”

“You need to relax, Jake,” Sam calmly responded. “Remember I asked for some restraint.”

“Oh, we are way past that,” Jake yelled with a humorless laugh, and a low-level buzzing filled Leah’s ears as she clenched her jaw. “All sanity and restraint disappeared the moment you recognized this so-called imprint.” She had expected questions and even anger, but this was something else. Her friend was unrecognizable and nearly unhinged. She hadn’t given much thought to how Jake would react; the last few weeks had been a whirlwind and she hadn’t spoken much to her own family, let alone anyone else. But why should she have? This had nothing to do with him.

And yet, the echo of his texts and something else deep inside Leah chastised her for not telling him sooner. For not confiding in him so that he wouldn’t have been so blindsided by the revelation.

“I’m right here, Jake,” she called out and he jerked towards her in response, as if he had forgotten she had been standing there all along. “You don’t need to attack Sam. You have questions, then I’m the one to ask.”

There were a few beats of silence before Jake spoke again, shaking his head.

“You’re infatuated, that’s all,” he stated dismissively, unwilling to process Leah’s words, attempting to find an alternative explanation. “You’re infatuated because he came back and did some vampire voodoo shit and Sam obviously misunderstood. These vamps are all crazy alluring, it’s their whole MO. And you fell for it Lee, but it sure as hell does not mean you imprinted.”

Oh, hell no.

“And you would know what that feels like, Jake, would you? Since you’ve never actually experienced it?” Leah bit back. “I’m pretty sure you’re the last person to tell me what I’m feeling.”

“Are you actually going along with this? This…sick delusion?” Jake tossed at Sam. “How do we even know this is real? Didn’t both you and Quil imprint immediately, the first times you saw Emily and Claire?” Jake turned to Quil for confirmation and Quil nodded weakly and shrugged. “Leah saw Cullen several times before, trained with the guy, and nothing happened.”

Sam held up his palms, remaining the calm center of the budding storm. “This is not a delusion or a trick. While imprints happen, we know very little of the mechanics, of what triggers it, or if it always happens the first time. This is still very new to all of us. Quil and I certainly aren’t enough to go off.” Jake scoffed and Sam ignored it. “Leah expressly stated what she felt, under great difficulty, and I recognized it for what it was. There is no doubt in my mind that Leah imprinted. There is no doubt that Leah knows she imprinted. And as the leader of this pack, I sensed it, beyond any words or description. I knew the moment it happened.”

“How?” Jake questioned angrily. The majority of the pack as onlookers were both repelled and drawn in by the spectacle, and they leaned in with every question. “How could you let this happen? She’s putting the entire rez at risk, not to mention she is completely naïve about the danger to herself. That thing is going to kill her.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Leah seethed, steel and grit lacing her voice. This was the standard she had set for herself; the secret promise she had made to Edward: No more hiding. She was strong enough to stand up for them both. “There is no danger. Edward respects the treaty. He always has. He has never given you a reason to doubt that. And he would give up his own life before he ever allowed any harm to come to me. It’s what happens when you love someone, Jake. You sacrifice to protect them.”

“Ohhhh, wow,” Jake sneered. “The bitchiest girl on the rez is going to lecture me on love. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jake,” Leah warned. She felt Sam move forward and half between them.  

“Now tell me, is it only recently you’re into vamps? Because I remember when we had some great nights discussing how we could technically tear one apart,” Jake mocked. Leah knew he was throwing any proof at her, any evidence that she should not be taken seriously. “Maybe the object of your great, undying love should know those things about you before he gets into bed with a woman who literally wants to end him.”

“Ah yes, everyone should be held to the things they said when they were sixteen getting drunk off Natty Lite in your greasy garage, Jake,” Leah sarcastically lobbed. “In that case, Embry and Quil should know you think they’re dumber than rocks, right? That you spent time with me to catch a break from them? Or does that not hold true anymore?”

“You’re so damn toxic, Lee! You always have been. You don’t give a shit about anyone or anything or care who you hurt! Including yourself!” Jake furiously spit back. “How can you not see this is going to end horribly?”

Leah was practically shaking with rage. He was ruthlessly pressing on old insecurities she had confided in him as a lost, listless teen. The same things the small voice in her head repeated as she lay awake in the dark, blaming herself for things that weren’t her fault.

“How dare you? After everything, how dare you say that about me? I’m not doing this anymore . You might be surprised and livid or downright in denial about my choices. But they’re exactly that. My choices. And nothing to do with you. I already told you Edward would keep his distance from the pack and that should be enough for you,” she concluded. “Plus, where was this attitude when Sam imprinted? Or when Quil did? You didn’t seem to object so much then.”

“They didn’t imprint on a vamp!” Jake roared. “Who are you defending here? You’re a fucking traitor!”

“Easy, Jake,” Seth quietly interrupted, unable to silently look on any longer. Leah felt a beat of gratitude for him as he walked over to her and flanked her on the other side from Sam.

“Look who finally decided to grow some balls!” Jake clapped sarcastically. “All grown up and finally taking a stand on something. Too bad it’s this.”

“You don’t talk to him like that! Ever!” Leah barked, the prickling underneath her skin roiling in waves and angry heat radiating off her. This was the worst time to lose her control; she did not want to shift in the middle of an argument. Especially this one.

Jake had the good sense to back off. But only a little, and only from Seth.

He unleashed on Leah in the worst way.

“What? Is no one else disturbed by this?” He spread and arms and turned in a circle, questioning the group. “No one else wants to weigh in on how we’re sending one of our own to her death.”

“For the last time, he will not hurt me,” Leah argued, growing more exasperated. Jake’s continuous switching from accusation to concern was tiring and confusing, and she was having trouble deciphering his motives here. “He’s kind. He’s a good person. He loves me. And I…love him.” Jake seemed nauseous at her confession, swaying unsteadily before freezing.

“Holy shit,” he spoke, clarity dawning on his face. “You’ve already gone there. You’re screwing the guy.”

Leah felt as if he had punched a hole through her midriff and all the air seemed to rush out of the room with his words. Those who were witnessing the battle immediately looked away or towards Sam, gauging his reaction. She noticed his fists curl at his side, a bad sign if she ever saw one.

“That’s enough, Jake,” Sam coldly warned.

“No, no, it’s not nearly enough.” Jake dismissed Sam as he turned back to Leah, the ugliness of his words distorting his features even further. Leah wasn’t even sure he was capable of controlling himself at this point. “So, what, the living don’t do it for you anymore? You’re expanding your horizons, trying new things, riding his icicle dick -.”  

The entire room groaned and Leah’s shoes squeaked against the floor as Seth physically held her back. She could give just as good as she got- always had.

“Why do you want to know, huh? Why are you so interested?” she hissed darkly as she strained against Seth. “If we’re making this a measuring contest, I think you only care because he’s packing a lot more with that icicle dick than whatever you’ve got going on down there -.”

“You’re sick!” Jake replied in disgust. “Fucking a dead thing like it’s normal-.”

Enough!” Sam’s voice thundered through the room and echoed against the vaulted ceiling, the word vibrating with finality through all of them.

An assertion of his authority, a command that would not be disobeyed.

Leah stopped fighting and sagged against Seth, breathing heavily. She had been operating through a lens of rage, and now she slowly felt it dissipate, no longer shrouding her vision. She noticed one of the younger guys, probably no more than eighteen, cower against the wall and realized it was likely his first time seeing this side of Sam.

He could be formidable if he wanted. And he certainly wasn’t holding back in the moment.

“Sam,” Jake pleaded, knowing he had gone too far, and that Sam would have the last word. “Please, don’t let this happen. She needs help -.”

“Fuck you, Jake,” Leah interrupted wearily, the fight drained out of her. She was humiliated and a deep pang of hurt struck in her chest every time she looked at him. Whatever she had expected, it wasn’t this…from him, of all people.

“I will say this, and only once,” Sam stated with a quiet fury that commanded the attention of the entire room. No one dared to look away. “Everyone will be respectful of their fellow pack member. You disrespect one, you disrespect all. Is that understood.” He glared at Jake, who was still stewing in his righteous anger. “Is. That. Understood?”

Jake didn’t so much answer as eventually cock his head in assent.

“Good,” Sam stonily continued. “This is the official pack stance on the matter. Leah has imprinted on the vampire Edward Cullen. He, not to mention his family, will continue to respect the treaty and it will be Leah’s responsibility to ensure that he does. She has chosen to pursue this relationship and the pack will not interfere with her imprint in any way. This is punishable by exile from the pack, and the community. And if it comes to it, I will not back down from any challenge, whatever the result may be.” The unspoken promise of a fight to the death cut through the room and Jake’s eyes glinted with a quick flash of surprise. “We fight for our own. We defend our own. But we do not take matters into our own hands without consulting the pack. This is a command, speak now if you wish to be heard.” Silence blanketed the room and the rest of pack either solemnly stared between Sam and Leah or kept their heads bowed.

“I’ll take no answer as no objection,” Sam conceded. “And I would like to move on to the reason I actually gathered you all here for today…”

Boots scuffled heavily against the floor as Jake turned to leave.

“Jake,” Sam called out, his voice full of warning. Leah was about to say they should just let him have his little tantrum, but Jake then looked back. His face was filled with such disdain that Leah swallowed her words.

“I’m not going to do anything. I have done nothing but support you since the beginning, Sam, and I’m a man of my word. You don’t get to doubt me.” Jake lifted his palms in irritation and disgust, as if to shut out everything he had just heard. “But I definitely don’t have to stay and watch this disaster.”

He shifted his gaze to Leah. “I really, really hope you eventually come to your senses. Because there’s no coming back from this.” With that he exited, carelessly slamming the doors on his way out.

Leah let out the breath she hadn’t known she had been holding, and detached herself from Seth, patting him on the shoulder in thanks as he moved away.

 Sam cleared this throat. “Right, Jake said his piece. And I made it clear that you’ll be following my example, not his. And we don’t actually need him for this, so let’s get down to the business of why we’re here. Leah, step forward.”

“Sam, what?” Leah questioned nervously, her voice a squeak. She was hoping the confrontation had been the beginning and end of it, but it seemed Sam had an agenda that he had kept to himself.

“Just do it. Please,” he coaxed. “I need to make this official for it to work.”

Make what official? For what to work?

But Leah kept her questions to herself and tentatively stepped forward, dozens of pairs of eyes tracking her every move.

“Leah Clearwater of the Quileute tribe, community leader, shapeshifter and wolf, trusted and respected member of the pack,” Sam addressed her in a clanging voice, the unusual rhythm of his words washing over her. “I Samuel Uley, of the same tribe, friend and leader, alpha of this pack, give you the choice to separate…”

Leah’s head yanked up in bewildered shock, any pretense of going along with Sam’s plan swept away with his decree.

Holy shit. Holy shit!

Ever since Leah learned that alphas did not always remain alphas, that a possibility existed for wolves to come into their own and lead their own pack, it was what she dreamed of as a young woman. She fantasized about no longer concealing her thoughts and actions, free from the mandate of the pack so that she could do what she wanted, when she wanted, without judgment or contradiction. So that she could finally breathe.

If she had to be a wolf, she at least wanted to be her own wolf.

But it would have signaled division and discontent in the ranks at a time when it had been dangerous to do so; slowly sowed resentment if she had chosen to go through with it. As an impressionable teenager, she had not dared to challenge Sam and strike out on her own, as her fear kept her caged in a miserable prison of her own making. As she drifted further from the pack, the thought became less frequent, but she occasionally wondered if she would ever be bold enough to follow through. It had seemed moot at this point.

And yet…

“To separate from the Quileute wolf pack and to no longer stand under its authority, but rather beside it. Leah has earned this right with her time and effort devoted not just to the pack in the past, but her tireless work to contribute to this community in the present. This is not an ending, but a beginning,” Sam stated, his calm and expectant eyes meeting Leah’s. He nodded at her in confirmation. He was offering her this gift. And Leah would be a fool not to finally take it.

She was rendered speechless, but Sam wasn’t finished. “As a formal decision on behalf of the tribe, I gathered you all for a vote. Though I find it unlikely any of you will disagree. But I think it is important to preserve this decision, for the record.” Sam swept out his hand towards the group, all their mouths agape as well. “We will vote now. If you have any objections, please raise you hand.”

The group remained still, not a single one of them daring to raise their hand. The younger ones tittered nervously and looked to the elder members for guidance, but they just stared blankly forward.

“And those in favor?” Sam continued breezily.

A few hands shot up immediately, including Seth’s. He bumped his shoulder with Leah’s as he grinned down, and her cold disbelief defrosted into a swell of gratitude. She bumped him back. A hesitant wave of raised arms followed, with the exception of Embry’s. He simply crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, his legs spread wide in his chair as if in defiance.

“Is there something you want to say, Embry?” Sam asked offhandedly, not quite taking his abstention seriously.

“Well since Quil and I are dumb as rocks,” Embry argued, repeating Leah’s words. She almost regretted saying that aloud but couldn’t bring herself to care too much in the moment. “We can’t possibly be expected to weigh in on this decision.”

“Dude, shutup,” Quil responded tiredly. “You are dumb as rocks and the rest of us want to go home.” Quil waved his arm exaggeratedly at Leah and Sam. “We all vote yes. Let Leah and the leech frolic in peace, or whatever. I really don’t want to hear about or know what they do. That goes for the rest of you deviants and whatever you get up to with whoever lets you touch them. Please keep that to yourselves.” He shuddered comically.

“Ugh, me neither,” Seth agreed and earned another elbow jab from Leah. “Ow!”

“Then I declare Leah the alpha of her own pack,” Sam announced with a hint of a smile. “So say we all.”

“So say we all,” the pack repeated back quickly and there was a clamor of metal chairs screeching against the wood and the guys playfully jostling each other as they all stood to leave. Pocket conversations about what had just taken place sounded all around her as some members furtively eyed her and Sam before turning away. Leah doubted the speculation and gleeful rubbernecking would die down in near future, if ever.

But Sam didn’t pay any attention. He was only looking at her.

“What?” she asked uncomfortably. She was still searching for the words to thank him, but he seemed focused on drawing something else out from her.

“You have to agree,” he urged softly.

“What?”

“To break off. Say yes and it’s done.”

“Oh,” Leah’s breath caught, their private conversation bursting with everything had that happened between them, from a decade ago to this moment now. She stared back in his eyes, determination and regret and a newfound pride swirling in them. She had loved him at once, enough to have been devastated by their breakup to the point of bitterness, and now she finally felt that wound heal over. The echoes of it would likely never fade completely; the fear of inadequacy and abandonment she had experienced still plagued her. But her love, and then loathing, of Sam had evolved into something else. His actions brought their loop to a close, and now there was room for warmth, gratitude, and maybe…friendship? Leah almost laughed at the thought, but knew it could be true.

“Oh.” She smiled tentatively and nodded. “I agree.”

Leah didn’t need Sam to tell her that it had worked. She immediately felt a piece of herself fall away, sever itself completely, and in its place grew a strength and confidence only she now possessed. While her imprint bond had pushed and pulled and finally draped itself lovingly over her, this she felt in the very essence of her being, woven with her love of Edward. She was her own person, no longer the pack’s. She flexed and stretched this power and authority experimentally within her, examining it for any breaks or holes, reaching out to Sam for guidance. But she only felt herself respond.  

“Wow,” she reacted in hushed wonder.

“Feels good to be king, doesn’t it?” Sam asked humorously, laughing at her expression. There was an openness to his face and voice, as if a weight he had been carrying had lifted as well.

Leah nodded in a daze.

“Well, don’t get too drunk with power. And if you ever need help…,” Sam hesitated, growing a little awkward with the sentiment but finishing, nonetheless. “If you ever need help, I’m around Lee. Always have been.”

Leah ducked her head but then forced herself to look up. Sam deserved her full attention after what he had done.

“Thank you,” she sincerely stated. “It means a lot. I can’t believe you actually went through with this, though. Your benevolent dictatorship now has some competition.”

Sam shrugged and his eyes shifted away. “I think it was time. You were…in a unique position in the pack. I think it’s only fair you get to experience your imprint without everyone in your business. I would’ve killed for some privacy those first months.”

“You mean without your ex tuning into every detail,” Leah deadpanned.

Sam barked out a laugh. “Yeah that. That would’ve been great.”

“It also would’ve been great to not have had to share every teenage insecurity with a group of dudes for two years,” Leah added accusingly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, made a lot of mistakes,” Sam admitted, scratching the back of his head contemplatively. “I don’t want to make them again.”

“I’m sorry…for giving you such a hard time,” Leah churned out in response, not without difficulty. But if Sam could admit his mistakes, she could do the same.

“Ooof, that apology sounded like it hurt,” Sam mockingly sympathized. “Do you need help getting to your car?”

“Why would the king ever need help?” Leah shot back. Sam laughed and shook his head but then stopped, as if remembering something unpleasant.

“Listen, about Jake…”

Leah put her hand up to stop him and closed her eyes, the memory of Jake’s poisonous words swimming in her head.

“I really don’t want to talk about him. I don’t even want to think about him.”

“I know…just, he’s lashing out in the worst way, but don’t think for a minute he’d do any real harm. He’s just angry and confused, he has no idea what an imprint does. I’ll handle him,” Sam assured her. “He’ll come around eventually.”

“Honestly, I don’t care if he does,” Leah replied dismissively, but she knew she did. Even if it had no bearing on her decision.

Sam cocked his head as if he knew better than to force the issue.

Seth suddenly whistled from a few feet away, where he been talking to Collin and Brady, and held his hands expectantly in front of him.

“Lee, keys? I wanna drive.”

Leah tossed them to him and he loped out, the others following him. It broke her from the surrealness of what had gone down.

Life would move on. It always did. She would go home and watch Sue unwrap the jazz record and new wineglasses Leah had gifted her along with whatever gag gift Seth had settled on. They would laugh and tease Seth and then eventually move on to some fond remembrance of dad, and it would be the perfect end to an endless night.  

The only difference was she had Edward waiting for her, somewhere out there, and she would be able to come to him now wholly as herself. The prospect made her overflow with hope.

“So you love Cullen? And he’s okay with that?” Sam begrudgingly teased, echoing what she had told the pack. He didn’t need to ask; she was sure he could see it all over her face.  

“More than okay. Fucking ecstatic. Thought that would make you happy,” Leah taunted, attempting to ground herself against the overwhelming feelings that were invading every part of her. “You were the one who told me to go for it in the first place.”

“Those weren’t my exact words.” Sam hedged, but he gave her a small grin. “And I really could have used the heads up. But I’m glad he was a real man about it. He would be an idiot not to be.” Sam hesitated. “And it’s good to see you happy. I…was worried after that night, that it would be too difficult.”

“It was. But you know what it’s like. And even more so, Edward is just...And I am so....” Leah was absolutely glowing as her thoughts turned to Edward. “So much happier than I thought I could ever be.”

Alright, no need to bombard Sam with the gooey stuff.

But Sam just looked back at her as if he could truly see her again, for the first time in years.

“It changed my life, too,” he offered quietly, recognizing in her the same thing he had experienced years ago. So few had ever understood what it felt, or meant, and now it was another thing they shared. Leah was grateful for that.

They stood in silence until Sam playfully pushed her shoulder with his giant hand, breaking the awkward tension that accompanied their vulnerable admissions.

“Who knew Leah Clearwater was such a sap?” Leah rolled her eyes. “And by the way, Emily gave me strict instructions to invite you over for dinner next week. If you want. She…we…think it would be good if Grace spent some time with her aunt.”

“Oh, just Grace?” Leah joked. “Sounds like you’re grooming me to babysit.”

“That wouldn’t be the worst thing for us, honestly,” Sam relented, half serious. “You have no idea how hard it is to find a good one nowadays.”

“I’ll have to check my schedule. The king is very busy with –.”

“Edward appointments?” Sam teased. “Tell him he’s welcome to sit at the border and we’ll toss him an elk or something.”

“How thoughtful,” Leah replied sardonically. “But he’s fonder of mountain lion.”

“Those are a little harder to come by. As long as he doesn’t want wolf.”

“Well, not any of you, at least. He only wants one wolf,” Leah assured him slyly, confident Sam could handle it.

Sam shuddered and they both began to walk towards the exit. “Ugh, please. Too soon for that.”

“Why? I had to listen to every ridiculous nickname you ever gave Emily. Lovey is terrible by the way, it’s so weird…and English?”

“Of course, you would throw that in my face. And I call Emily snookums, now.”

“Ew, she should be pressing charges against you for that.”

Their freeing banter continued into the night as they closed the doors of the rec center, and the past, behind them.



Notes:

So glad these two worked it out. Jake…not so much. More Edward next chapter and we go even deeper. Let me know what you think with a comment/review!

Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Notes:

A/N: Own nothing but my own original characters and plotlines. I like to think this chapter is the culmination of everything Leah has been building towards and the thing Edward has been patiently waiting to hear. Capital M rating. Enjoy :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

L: Hi <3

 

E: Hey yourself. It’s late, can you not sleep?

 

L: No

 

E: What’s wrong?

 

L: I wish you were here with me…

 

E: You know my thoughts on the matter :) I said the same thing just two hours ago, right before you hung up the phone.

 

L: I’m not so great at telling you over the phone what I want to tell you...I feel so awkward…but I can’t stop thinking about you. I never stop thinking about you. Everything you said in that message yesterday, I feel all that and so much more.

 

E: I thought it might’ve been too much, so I didn’t bring it up. And you know you never have to feel awkward with me.

 

L: It wasn’t too much...I wanted more.

 

L:  Also, have you met me? My main personality traits are angry and awkward, no middle ground.

 

E: Hmm, I beg to differ. You’re wonderful, sarcastic, creative, strong, highly intelligent, thoughtful, adorable…

 

L:  Ugh Edward no, don’t

 

E: Much too self-deprecating, compassionate, sexy, hilarious, no-nonsense, honest

 

L: <hiding my face in my pillow>

 

E: Not to mention the most beautiful and alluring creature I have ever set eyes upon

 

L: Okay, now you’re just straight up lying

 

E: Never. One day you’ll need to learn to take a compliment

 

L: Never

E: Ha, I should add stubborn

 

L: By any chance…do you have the house tomorrow night?

 

E:

 

L: Edward?

 

E: I always have the house, love

 

L: Right, but I mean…you know

 

E: If you’re asking if Carlisle and Esme would be able to give us some privacy, they will be away for the weekend visiting Rosalie and Emmett.

 

L: And you never thought to mention this???

 

E: It doesn’t make a difference if they are here or not, you are always welcome. I also didn’t want to obligate you to come to the house. You may have had plans this weekend

 

L: Are you certifiably insane?? If I had plans, this would have been more than a reason to cancel!!! Unbelievable

 

E: Insane? Almost absolutely. Certifiably? Well, I think people would have trouble proving that

 

L: E…I want to spend the next three days wrapped up in you

 

E: Only three?

 

L: I’ll take what I can get

 

E: You have all of me, anytime you need me

 

L: Well, that’s a problem, because I want all of you, all the time

 

E: I wouldn’t call that a problem

 

L: Does anything ever faze you?? I’m blushing like a fucking tomato

 

E: I’m blushing, too…on the inside

 

L: You’re so fucking cute, I can’t take it

 

E: Say more things…Esme and Carlisle are flirting in the kitchen and it’s become a bit much. I need a distraction

 

L: Okay I take it back, your parents are so fucking cute, I can’t take it

 

E: They are. It’s exhausting

 

L: They’re so attuned to each other

 

E: Almost a century as mates. They know every single piece of each other’s souls.

 

E: …Lee?

 

E: Getting sleepy? We should stop, you’re going to be too tired tomorrow if you stay on the phone.

 

L: No, I just thought of something, and I don’t know how to say it over text. Just…do you still have my shorts and shirt from the day I fell in water?

 

E: Of course. I made a Leah doll with them and propped it up on my couch.

 

L: Hilarious

 

E: All joking aside…yes. Why do you ask?

 

L: Wait for me at the west edge of the woods in your backyard tomorrow night…around 8PM. Bring the clothes

 

E: Okay…do you want to tell me what this is about?

 

L: Night Edward, until tomorrow

 

E: What? Lee?

 

E: Lee?


 

This is how it's meant to be
This is where we're supposed to be
I don't think anyone could ever love
Anyone the way I love you
The way I love you
The way I love you

   - Fortress by Bear’s Den



 

 

Leah was crouched in the middle of the forest…wearing a bathing suit. It was just warm enough outside that the weather complemented the heat streaming off her body, and she luckily wasn’t freezing all over.

Okay. Focus. Just focus.

Her concentration broke at every small crack of a twig, every rustling in the leafy canopies, mortified that someone would stumble upon her and find her half naked and…doing what exactly?

It’s just like riding a bike. A big, hairy, snarling bike.

She clenched her eyes shut and gritted her teeth, every muscle in her body vibrating with tension as she willed it to transform. To take shape as easily as it did just a decade ago.

The whole process was much more strenuous than she had anticipated.

She took another break as her eyes wandered to the unassuming pile of clothes she had left under a tree for after and her water bottle. Sweat trailed down her arms and legs and she could feel a pool collecting at the small of her back. Wiping away some stinging droplets from her eyes, she decided to take a swig from the bottle and maybe call it an afternoon. It had been a spontaneous, and not very well thought out idea to surprise Edward after his comment about mates the night before. She just hadn’t counted on being so out of tune that her entire body refused to cooperate, and she felt increasingly foolish as she tracked the scattered rays of sunlight illuminating the forest floor.

She had left work at the La Push high school an hour early that day, knowing she had no classes for the last period, and made quick work of putting on an old bikini underneath her sweats.

She wasn’t sure it was entirely sane to try and do this nude in the woods the first time around. And she really didn’t care if the bathing suit tore apart from her efforts. In fact, she was counting on it.

That is, until her body couldn’t be bothered.

Swishing water around her mouth, she broodingly threw her bottle to the side and contemplated what else she could do. What had made her feel as if she was about to burst out of her own skin?

Well, when I imprinted…and after that fight with Jake.

That was it. Those were her triggers. The extreme emotions she had knocked between the past few weeks allowed her to lose control. But Leah was so afraid of doing just that. She had fought against it every step of the way, pressing it down even as it roiled under her skin.

Now was the time to let go. In every sense.

She recalled her fury at the way Jake treated her, the frustration of not being able to vocalize her feelings, Paul’s smugness, Sam’s insensitivity, Edward’s…well the fact Edward was treating her like a porcelain doll at the slightest hint of danger. And then ultimately, the pure longing and joy she felt beyond any of his faults.

“Just…let…go,” she demanded as she grit her teeth even harder, her eyes clenching shut again with the effort.

At first, it didn’t seem to make a difference. But then the wind shifted and Leah could scent the hidden flavors of the breeze as it swept past her, the layers upon layers of stimuli that populated the forest.

Her arms extended and hinged at the joints while her legs kicked up on their haunches. She had not been primed for the pain, the sensation of her muscles cramping and then stretching to an impossible degree until she was sure her body was ripping itself apart.

Her sight sharpened considerably and she felt her nose grow cold and wet. She howled in agony and then clamped her mouth shut in embarrassment, bracing herself as her claws tore their way through the padded skin of her…paws.  

She bared her teeth in response and then ran her large tongue over their pointed ends to confirm that they had transformed into fangs.

And then as soon as it had begun, the pain halted, and she could barely stop herself from collapsing in relief. Her bathing suit lay in ribbons around her.

Fucking hell. Ow, ow, ow.

It seemed with age came inflexibility; the things she had taken for granted in her youth were so rusty after years of disuse. It had never been so difficult before and she accepted it would take some practice for the shift to become effortless once again.

Leah padded slowly to the tree and caught sight of herself in the clear surface of the water bottle. In the place of human woman was a shaggy, gray wolf staring gravely back at her. Her hazel wolf eyes were attentive and wide and a long tail twitched anxiously like wiper blades behind her.

She had done it. She had shifted.

Most importantly, while she could sense the smallest insects fluttering around her face to the dropping of a leaf onto the forest floor, while she could feel more acutely the warmth of the sun and the wind rippling against her back…she could hear no one else.

No other wolves. Nothing intruding into her mind, and she felt that automatic fear dissipate.

She truly was a pack of one, free to join and separate from the others as she wished.

She immediately thought of Edward and his testimonials to the relief he felt at being able to control the stream of thoughts from others.

She understood him perfectly in that moment. What freedom it was.

 She couldn’t wait to tell him. To show him this other side of herself. And follow the advice she had repeated not a few minutes before.

Just let go.


***************

A few hours later, after experimentally shifting back and forth a few times, Leah raced through a back channel of untouched wilderness, flowing water and uninhabited fields. In her human form, getting to the Cullen house in this manner would have been near impossible, even with her heightened abilities.

But as a wolf, it felt as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She leapt and ran and sprung across vast expanses of green, her inhibitions fully shattered.  After all, she had been the fastest wolf in her former pack.

She had no plan or foresight or even explanation to Edward when she arrived in this form. She could only hope he would understand what she was trying to show him, that he would appreciate how much of her own armor she had shed. Both for him and herself.

The imprint bond lay before her like a fiery gold vein, blazing in the descending darkness and leading her to him.

She could smell him before she could even see him, the tang of his scent so much more nuanced in this form. She could taste his essence on her tongue, cedar and salt swirling in the air.

And something else. Something intangible that evoked a sense of home. Of love.

She slowed her gait to a trot, and then a walk as she strode up a slight roll of hill to the west of the Cullen’s property boundary.

The sky was a mass of indigo and lighter violet, the sharp pinpricks of stars just now becoming visible. The moon hung heavy and full in the canopy of night above her and Leah would have laughed at the irony if she wasn’t so focused on her gentle approach to Edward.

She finally caught sight of him, his form now visible as it waited patiently by the dark edge of the wood.  His head was turned upward, gazing absently at the sky. And then, just as quickly as she appeared over the hill, his eyes were on her.

She could see them shining like reflectors in the darkness and hesitated for the first time, uneasy under the intensity of his stare.

She slowed to a stop, a few yards from his seated position.

Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea. She should have warned him, should have given him the choice of being confronted by her beast. It was possible she had activated some buried instinct to jump defensively back, or even worse, attack.

Her head summoned her old fears of rejection from the dead.

But Edward simply sat and stared. He was a still beacon calling out to her in the descending night.

“So this was your plan all along?” he asked, his voice melting into some indescribable emotion.

After a moment he beckoned her forward.

“It’s okay, come closer,” he coaxed gently, mindful of the anxiety she was sure was visibly rolling off her. She took a tentative step forward with her front paw. And then another.

With slow, sinuous grace she slunk her way over to Edward until her snout bumped his shoulder. He leaned forward, taking her in.  

“Hi there.” With unhurried ease and a curious gaze, Edward slipped his hands into the cowl of fur behind her neck and Leah whimpered in pleasure. His fingers massaged her and sank further into the wild mass of gray fur on her neck and back. Leah flopped heavily against him as her large red tongue lolled out. With one well-placed rub of his hands, he had destroyed all her defenses.

Edward chuckled as she huffed and knocked her head lightly against his chin.

“Feels good, does it?” he remarked, and she panted eagerly in approval when he began to scratch the junctures of her ears.

His fingers continued to run through her fur but he brought them forward and gently lifted Leah’s gigantic wolf face to peer into his. He touched her forehead to his.

“My beautiful, beautiful Lee,” he whispered in awe and adoration and Leah thought she might be overwhelmed by the tidal wave of emotions that coursed through her at his words. But this was a night to allow all of those feelings to wash over and consume her, not paralyze her.

Even more determined, she playfully growled and knocked him onto his back a little more roughly than she had planned. Her front paws landed on his chest and he grunted in surprise, but recovered quickly.

“You’re very fast in this form. If you plan on tearing me apart, at least let me kiss you one last time,” he teased.

Leah gave him a toothy, wolfish grin and with the flat of her rough tongue, licked clean up the side of Edward’s face as he shook with silent laughter.

“Not exactly what I meant, but I’ll take it,” he conceded, and Leah finally stepped off him.

He sat up, brushing down his shirt and then held out a pile to her, her clothes and something else.

“Your clothes as instructed. And a blanket if you’re chilly.”

Leah was no longer chilled by the elements, but she affectionately nuzzled him for his considerate gesture.

She could have stayed in this form all night. It was clear Edward wouldn’t mind just sitting by her side, absently petting her as they took in the swirling galaxy of stars and planets in the night sky. Her hulking form had not turned him off her, but instead further endeared her to him. It was a quiet victory, one Leah hadn’t even known she was anticipating.

But it was time to change back. To say so many things that should not have been left unsaid for so long.

With another playful bump of her snout and a lingering stroke from his hands, she carried off the clothes and blanket in her teeth and loped to the cover of the woods. She wasn’t about to attempt a return to her human self in front of Edward. That would require some courage and practice and the process was still more painful than she was comfortable with.

As she allowed herself to fully soak in the warmth of their shared moment, she envisioned her human form and gently closed her eyes.  To her surprise, she felt herself shift almost immediately. Her bare arms and legs shook from the strain of her run, but otherwise her wolf had dematerialized in record time.

It’s him. He makes everything so easy.   

The thought of Edward waiting for her, after embracing her other form, it gave her more strength and conviction than she could have ever gathered on her own.

As she had done that afternoon, she peered down at a pile of clothes she had placed on the gnarled roots of a tree. Ignoring them, she shook out the blanket and wrapped it loosely around her naked shoulders. She then picked up the clothes out of practicality, with no plans of slipping back into them.

Do not lose your nerve. You trust him. You love him. You got this.

With a deep breath, she stepped carefully from soil to the welcoming ocean of grass beyond the woods, crossing with deliberate slowness. It felt cool underfoot.

“Edward, don’t turn around,” she whispered as he began to face her. He stopped himself before she was fully in view.  

“What?” he questioned softly, his voice caressing her even at this distance. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Leah reassured him. “Nothing…just stay there. I’m coming to you.”

That line of light, that thing that bound them, it was just a guide. Leah was the true flame, burning brightly in the night the nearer she walked to Edward. When she was just within reach, she paused and drew another deep breath, filling her lungs with him.

And then she slowly pressed her entire naked body against his back, curling her arms up to grab his shoulders as she hugged him from behind. She knew by the way he froze at her contact, the warmth seeping from her body to his, that he could tell she had foregone clothes all together. When she discarded her shirt and shorts at his feet, it confirmed just that.

“Leah…,” Edward started.

“I love you,” Leah finally stated aloud. “I love you so much, it feels impossible.”

She felt his hands cover hers and their fingers intertwined.

With her mind, she pushed forward every sensation, her fear and hope, the joy of every encounter, how she drowned at his touch and rose to the surface again and again. From that first moment in the hospital until now, she tried her best to convey every single thing he made her feel.

Heartbreak. Frustration. Pride. Lust. Joy. Happiness. Love. So much love.

She leaned her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt and rubbed it absently.

“Now you know. You know it all,” she whispered, thinking she might shatter if he didn’t respond. She was now truly naked, not just in the literal sense.

Leah felt Edward shift, felt the turn of his body as he released her hands and took hold of her shoulders.

She forced herself to lift her gaze even though the intensity of the moment begged her to bury her head in his chest, to avoid the things she knew she would see in his face. She wasn’t sure she could handle it.

Her breath caught in her throat as Edward’s eyes pierced hers. Their bright amber hue infused them with an otherworldly glow, and she was temporarily hypnotized.

She thought she observed a thousand thoughts and emotions flicker across his face and in the end, he said nothing.

Edward simply reached out to draw the ends of the blanket closer around her and then suddenly stooped down. Before Leah knew it, he had swept her up in his arms, one arm under her shoulders, the other hooked under her knees. He had even managed to pick up her clothes in the same motion.  

He began to carry her across the yard to the house with ease, moving much too slow for a vampire of his capabilities. But it seemed he was drawing out this moment in a way neither of them would ever forget.

Not once did he take his eyes off her face.

His chiseled features and sculpted cheekbones, his unsmiling, beautiful mouth; those were nothing compared to what he was communicating to her with those unrelenting eyes.

It’s too much.

Leah closed her eyes and broke away while she cuddled her head into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her even closer into him. He handled her so carefully, as if she was made of something too precious for words.

She heard the click of a door opening and then they were over the threshold in the vast, dark interior of the Cullen’s house. But Edward didn’t set her down. He kissed the top of her head.

‘Can I take you upstairs?” he murmured, speaking into her hair. “ It will be warmer.”

She understood what he was asking her, what she wanted more than anything.

She nodded against him.

His pace was now anything but leisurely as she felt the air whip around her. They were suddenly in Edward’s bedroom and Leah noted four lit candles set upon his bedside tables.  

“What? How?” she started. “So, this was your plan all along?”

At that, Edward finally gave her a half smile.

“One can never be too prepared.”

Leah scoffed but then blushed, realizing she was still very naked and still very much the focus of Edward’s heated, penetrating gaze.

Her hands tightened the loop around his neck as if she were falling.

But instead of holding her close, Edward set Leah down. Her feet touched bare hardwood and the blanket slipped from one of her shoulders.

Still maintaining eye contact he stepped back from her. His gaze lingered on her bare shoulder and then back up to her face and he shook his head in disbelief.

‘What?” Leah asked in a small voice, a little defensively. She had been ready to drop the blanket altogether, but he was acting so unpredictably.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” Edward whispered in hushed awe. “What could I have possibly done to deserve this much happiness?”

The warmth pulsing through Leah spread out like wildfire and her blood thrummed in her ears.

They silently stared at each other a beat longer and then Edward pulled off his shirt, exposing the flat, lean muscle of his torso. His fingers went to the clasp of his jeans and he stripped them off, in addition to his boxers.

She wanted to tease him and protest that she wanted to do that part, but her breath hitched at how momentous this felt. Her nerves vibrated in anticipation.

He was now he was as bare as she was; there was no denying he was as ready when she noticed a specific part of him standing at attention.

 

It was her turn to ogle him and he stood confidently, watching her as she watched him. But he didn’t wait for too long. Leah felt before she saw him remove the blanket around her and let it swish to the ground.

He touched her, his fingertips just barely grazing her shoulders and down her arms, then pressing them into her hips and tugging her closer to him.

Leah sighed as he kissed her jaw and a line down her throat, all the way to the swell of her chest.

“Lee,” he called out gently, as he stopped.

“Mmm.” Leah was still caught up in what he had been doing.

“Lee,” he repeated and tilted her chin up and Leah watched him through heavy lidded eyes.

She nodded to communicate she had heard him but knew her yearning for him was intensifying by the second. It was rendering her unresponsive.

“Know this,” he murmured reverently. “I don’t think anyone could ever love anyone the way I love you.”

His hands delicately cradled her face and his lips pressed a feather light kiss against her forehead. Leah’s imprint bond was as wide as the room, as bright as the sun. It was an undulating wave of light consuming them both.

Leah gripped his wrists and spoke the words again while she still had the presence of mind to do so.

“I want you so much,” she admitted breathily. “I love…I love you so much.”

Edward could no longer contain himself and words were unnecessary as he crushed her lips to his. With slow assuredness he devoured her mouth, and she slid her tongue along his. The kiss was not rushed and frenzied, but patient and deep. They stood like that for a long time. Leah finally broke away to inhale some much needed air, but Edward continued to kiss down to her chest. He stopped at her breasts and took one into his mouth, sucking the peak as he drew tight circles around it with tongue. He circled the other with this thumb until it hardened and repeated his actions with his mouth. Every touch of his hand, kiss of his lips, glance of those eyes was a promise. He was going to worship her; body and soul.

Leah felt as if she was floating, her arousal bringing her outside her body.

He finally traveled down into the valley of her breasts, all the way to her navel as he knelt before her.

Her hands were in his hair, fondly brushing it back from his forehead as she looked down at him.  

He pressed more kisses along her stomach, his hands grasping her hips. He directed one of her legs to hook over his shoulder to spread her further and eventually descended. Leah gasped as he licked and sucked between her thighs.

“Oh,” she moaned, feeling increasingly lightheaded when she felt the pressure build down there as he continued. She was within reach of the bed, and felt her way up one of the giant bed posts, clinging tightly to it. Noticing her faltering, Edward quickly rose and with a delicate turn of her hips, lay her down on his bed.

She slid further up the mattress as he climbed after her, putting all his weight on his forearms while he hovered over her.

“Better?” he questioned, slightly concerned. He lifted his hand and smoothed away a lock of hair from her forehead.

Leah huffed and nodded weakly. “I think turning today took a lot out of me, it’ll get easier.” Not that she wanted to turn much, regardless. But it gave her comfort that she and her wolf seemed to reach some kind of uneasy truce.

“You were amazing to do that for me. You were truly breathtaking,” Edward responded, his voice brimming with so much tenderness that Leah tensed her jaw to stop from smiling like a fool. “But if that’s the case, then you must be tired. You should sleep.”

That wasn’t what Leah had in mind at all and immediately regretted admitting she was a little worn out.

“No, no, I’m fine,” she hurriedly reassured him. There was a small upward turn of his lips as he stroked her cheek. “Edward, please, we have waited way too long for this. I need you.”

Her plea unlocked something in him, she could see it in his expression. It was clear; free of doubt and determined, and she finally realized he also needed her just as badly.

It seemed obvious but it was the final break in the dam of insecurity surrounding her mind. The twin flames of their desire lit them both from within.

He brushed her lips again with hers, over and over until she could no longer stand it. She brought up her knees on either side of him, spreading her legs wider.

Edward dropped himself to cover Leah, aligning their bodies until every inch of him lay against her. Her skin was scorching, and Edward’s cool touch tempered her and brought her back to herself.

“Love,” he warned, “You need to tell me if you get uncomfortable or if I…,”

“Shh,” Leah brought her finger to his mouth. “You’re not going to hurt me. I promise.”

Edward closed his eyes briefly and Leah traced the outline of his lips. They moved wordlessly as he stated something under his breath, a final prayer or plea to himself, and Leah felt his hard member slide against her wet center.

She exhaled heavily as he coated himself in her, preparing to enter her. She lifted her legs and crossed her ankles along his lower back, while pushing him further into her with some silent begging of her own. He obliged and curled his hands tightly around her thighs. The head of his cock stretched her as he finally entered her.

Leah’s eyes fluttered with pleasure, and she hugged him to her, running her hands up and down his back.

Inch by inch, he pushed into her. He was tentative and so careful, moving slowly until he was fully sheathed inside.

 

He paused and they both reveled in the connection. He had breached her barriers in every way possible and the way he filled her was indescribable, as if their bodies had been created to perfectly accept the other. She kissed his shoulder to urge him forward and he began to thrust gently, sliding slightly in and out. Their eyes met and they stared into each other as Edward gradually increased the reach of his thrusting, but never the pace. Everything he did was measured and purposeful, as if he was trying to preserve each moment between them.

Leah could no longer stifle the moans of pleasure building in her throat and Edward seemed to take that as a sign that he should venture even deeper.

Leah was pleasantly surprised when he sat back, effortlessly lifting her with him so she was seated on his lap. He pushed up into her and she groaned with abandon while clutching his back. She felt his thumb rub on and around her clit and she began to meet his thrusts, rolling her hips back down onto him.

“Oh, Edward, this is…,” she trailed off.

He didn’t reply at first, seemingly hyper focused on the wave of motion between them, paying attention to her every response and reaction until he couldn’t deny his pleasure any longer.

“It’s everything,” he agreed, groaning when she began to clench around him. Leah felt perspiration from their efforts trickle down her neck, arms, and back. She came when Edward licked a drop of sweat trailing down her right breast.

Even her orgasm was delicate, somehow fragile in the way it shook her lightly. But the sensation flooded her and evolved into a low, simmering flame in her abdomen.

She leaned back enough to place her hand on Edward’s chest, exactly where his unbeating heart lay, and Edward anchored her waist with one arm. He continued to push in and out but lay the palm of his other hand on her chest in the exact same position and splayed his fingers. Her heartbeat flowed out of her chest through the channel of his skin, traveling up and through his veins until Leah was certain she could sense its echo under her hand.

He gave her love. She gave him life.

She leaned forward again and kissed him passionately, placing every single ounce of her love into that action and Edward began to moan in earnest against her mouth. She pulled back but he followed, and Leah was again lying prone on the bed, feeling the ragged tempo of Edward’s growls vibrating in his chest. He was losing control, but not too much. His rhythm fell out of sync with hers until he gave one final thrust and shook above her. The tension left his body, and his face was serene, almost angelic, as he came. She felt the rush of his venom inside her; the cooling, numbing sensation made her gasp and then laugh.

“Oh, wow,” she breathed out.

Edward’s eyes searched hers as he settled, the tremors of his orgasm abating as she stroked up his shoulders, to his neck and then his face.

“Are you okay?” he questioned.

“Better than okay,” she replied sleepily. He tilted his forehead onto hers and closed his eyes.

“I will love you, forever,” he quietly promised. The naked vulnerability in his voice made Leah’s heart stutter in her chest and she knew everything had changed between them. From this day, neither of them could deny or question what had come to pass.

‘Till my last breath and beyond, she added in her head.

‘What are you thinking,” he asked with a whisper. Leah’s eyelids grew heavy, and she fought the wave of exhaustion that threatened to overtake her.

“Kiss me,” she mumbled, pulling his face down to hers.

And before Leah’s eyes sleepily fluttered shut, he did just that.








Creak.
And stone. Creak. And stone.

It was a dimly lit rocky interior, the wall curved into successive arches that Leah passed through. One by one.

The sound of water dripping, and the irritable creak of a hinge attracted her curiosity and Leah followed the noise. She turned so many corners she feared she would never be able to find her way back out. But then again, she couldn’t actually remember where she had started.

Maybe she had always been here, in the dark and damp.

She finally reached a hallway, one lit with a dozen torches, the flames low and blue. At the end, a roughhewn door remained closed, a crossbar that was meant to shutter it from her side hanging loosely off it. The creaking had intensified, and Leah realized with mounting horror that it wasn’t just a hinge that was the cause.

It was footsteps upon the stone floor. And whatever was coming was old, older than she could even fathom.

Creaaaaakkk.

The door began to open of its own volition and Leah was helpless to stop it. She watched as slender, pale fingers wrapped around the door’s edge and…

 The dream dissipated into a forgettable wisp of smoke as Leak awoke with a start, blinking bleary eyed against the darkness as she assessed her unfamiliar surroundings. Moonlight streamed through a wall of glass panes and her head rested on a solid mass, not the worn, embroidered pillowcases that her grandmother had sewn for her as a child. Her hand spanned skin that almost matched the warmth of hers and she quickly realized there was someone underneath her. Only then did the room around her come into focus and her vision accounted for everything. She was in the Cullen’s house, under the tangled blue covers on Edward’s bed, and they had just…

Leah bit her lip and smiled widely.

“Well, hello.” Of course, Edward knew she was awake before she even stirred.

“Hi,” she greeted him, her voice husky from sleep.

There was movement and she felt Edward take her hand into his and bring it to his lips.

“Good dream, I take it?” he asked.

“I…I don’t actually remember,” Leah answered honestly.

Edward kissed her knuckles and played with her fingers, tickling her palm until she snorted and tore her hand away. Any remnants of her confusion in waking melted at his teasing.

“No, no, I’m very sensitive to tickling, this is not a road you want to go down.” She snuggled deeper into the bed and against him.

“Is that so?” Edward challenged in amusement. His other arm encircled her body, holding her to him, and his hand rested on the side of her ribs, primed for torture.  

“Oh definitely, not,” she replied dead serious. “I will bruise, maim, and scar to get away. No exceptions, not even for you.”

Edward chuckled and sighed. “You shouldn’t be awake; you need your rest. Go back to sleep.” But even so he stroked her side, up to the curve of her breast.

“That definitely won’t get me to sleep.”

He paused and patted her. “No, I’m not helping the situation.” Leah accepted she was awake and immediately switched on at the sight of Edward’s bare chest. She lifted herself off him and kissed up the center, licking the hollow of his throat. “And neither are you,” he choked out.

“I’m not remotely tired now,” she retorted. It was true, those few hours she had been asleep rejuvenated her. She could think of more pressing matters that needed attending to. Namely, Edward.

But she could admit she was a little sore and winced involuntarily when she sat up further to straddle him. A lot of time had passed since she had last asserted herself so…vigorously.

“Hey, easy,” he said, observing her struggle. “We have time. Just lay back down. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep.”

“But I love you,” she whispered seductively and nipped his chin. “And I plan on loving you all over, and over, and over…”

“Oh, believe me, I find it difficult to think of anything else,” Edward murmured in response. “But not until you’re at your full strength, which will only happen after you sl...”

“Ugh,” Leah huffed, drumming his chest with her hands. “How can that be fun for you. You must be so bored just lying under me all night while I drool on you. I’m helping you out here.”

“You don’t drool,” Edward flatly stated. “Just snore.”

“I do not snore!” Leah protested vehemently and slapped his shoulder and Edward grabbed her wrists.

“Well, I guess you’ll never know,” he laughed, and Leah frowned and rolled her eyes, but secretly couldn’t resist this playful side of him. He sat up and piled her into his lap, draping her arms over his neck.

“And there is absolutely nowhere I’d rather be than in this bed with you, all night,” he whispered earnestly and kissed her. “I love you beyond reason.” His saying that so casually made her stomach flip in nervous excitement.

“Well, you could at least get some laundry done or pay your bills, or I don’t know, organize Carlisle’s map collection like you said before,” she grumbled, feeling suddenly self-conscious. She didn’t want to limit him, to hold him back in any way, and if she was honest, she was not used to this much attention. It was highly flattering but somewhat embarrassing.

Edward shook his head and dug into his reasoning. “I could look at you forever and not want to move away. I’m not going anywhere if I can help it.” She could tell he meant it and inwardly glowed despite the impracticality of it all.

“Fine, but don’t blame me when it starts to get old,” Leah shrugged and then smiled again before she was forced to clear her throat. It was beyond dry, and the sides felt as if they were stuck together. She was undeniably dehydrated.

“I need water,” she coughed as elegantly as she could and rolled off Edward.

“I left a glass on your bedside,” he informed her as he lazily stretched and checked the digital clock on his side of the bed. She looked and noticed the tall column of a glass filled to the top.

I really don’t deserve him.

The face of Edward’s digital clock read 2:12. She still had the rest of the night, the rest of the weekend in fact to spend with him. She could spare a few extra minutes for some water.

She greedily gulped it down and was annoyed when it became clear she needed more. Shifting and sex were hard work, and she needed to replenish.

She clocked and grabbed her discarded shirt and shorts from the floor and began to dress herself.

 “What are you doing?” Edward asked in alarm, suddenly kneeling behind her on the bed as she lifted her hips and buttoned her shorts.

“I need more water,” she sighed. “And I am not about to walk around this house naked, like I’m Lady Godiva.”

“She was on a horse,” Edward corrected.

“Whatever.”

“And I can get you water. I can get you anything, just don’t leave the bed. And please refrain from putting your clothes back on,” he urged.  

“Ah I see, you just want to leer at me like some deviant.”

“Precisely,” Edward answered and cheekily slid his hands under her shirt, lifting to just under her breasts. “Also, you don’t know the house layout like I do. You could get lost.” He kissed her ear and felt up her chest, groping her. “Don’t you know that monsters live here?”

Leah bit her cheek to keep from laughing, or moaning, she wasn’t sure which. “Edward, I am an almost 25-year-old professional woman with claws the size of knives. I can handle a trip to the kitchen.” She stood, reluctantly prying his hands off, and turned to face him. “And the only monster in this house is the one attached to you,” she hinted, dropping her eyes to his lap.

Edward sighed and resignedly settled against the headboard.    

“I’m very used to doing things for myself. I can get my own water,” Leah emphasized.

Edward simply gestured for her to do as she must.

“I know. I’ll be here.”

Leah backed towards the door as she took in the sight of him on the bed. His lower half was covered only in a thin sheet and his arm rested on a folded-up knee. The other was casually bent at the elbow behind the ruffled hair on his head as he leaned back against the headboard. She swallowed at his relaxed posture, how even when she was sure of having the upper hand, he commanded her attention.

 It’s not fair.

Edward must have noticed her silent inventory of him, and a smirk settled on his face.

“The hallway is behind you, Lee,” he pointed out to her. “Are you sure you don’t need assistance?”

Leah shook her head, a little mortified at how much he affected her.

“No, obviously not,” she mumbled. But she continued to stare, transfixed by him.  

Edward raised a cocky eyebrow, that smirk now a full-blown grin

“Is there something you want to say, love?” he gently taunted, fully playing into the situation as the sheet slid a few inches down his waist.

Instead of growing annoyed, Leah felt almost bashful, glancing down at the floor as she turned. Her stomach fluttered violently as she came to terms with the fact he was doing this for her benefit; the teasing, the heavy pauses, the flirting. She had been with him so intimately and yet he still knew how to make her blush.

“No…nothing…just thirsty,” she stammered, rushing out the door into the hallway. Edward’s rich laughter followed her down the stairs.

Only when she got to the kitchen did she manage to loosen his hold. Rolling her eyes at herself, she filled her glass at the sink faucet. The Cullens did have some fancy, bullshit temp-controlled fridge tap that was accompanied by four ice options, but Leah avoided it on principle.

Growing even more annoyed at the fact that she had no poker face and had just blown her cover at how irresistible she found her imprint, she decided to stall for a bit.

Serves him right. Maybe I will play with the ice dispenser, she thought smugly.

She explored the countertops, fussing with some dish cloths and an engraved wooden cutting board, and investigated the contents of the fridge as she sipped her water. It was full of groceries, enough for a family of humans and Leah flashed with hot embarrassment again before shrugging and accepting the Cullen’s generosity. She did need food eventually, and this meant they wouldn’t need to leave the house. She would be wise to pick her battles.

The bright green apples rolling in the crisper caught her attention and she plucked one up.

I could eat…and waste more time.

She located the knife block, where the knives were still quite sharp from lack of use and began slicing the apple into wedges on the cutting board. She lopped off pieces of the core and deseeded it.

These are so crisp, he probably got them somewhere bougie. I bet he went to Whole Foods. I would have really loved to see that, probably crinkled his cute fucking nose at everything. Not that I’m complaining, Just a little more off the edge, ahh…ow!

She swore as the edge of the blade bit into the thumb of her other hand and Leah lifted it hurriedly to assess the damage. It was no more than a papercut, but telltale drops of blood began to bead along the wound.

Well at least it’s not as bad as the last time I hurt myself. It’ll heal in no time.

The rapid healing abilities linked to her shifting would ensure it would be gone by tomorrow. Leah ran the tap again to wash away the blood, but she quickly sensed the presence of another, a pair of eyes watching her in the darkness.

 Spinning herself towards the open frame leading into the kitchen, she saw Edward lurking, his face stoic as he stood motionless. He had donned a pair of navy joggers, but his chest was still bare.

Leah exhaled a sigh of relief. “You startled me, when did you get down here?” Edward remained silent and nodded his head towards her hand, which she held away from her body.

“Yeah, I know, complete klutz over here. I seem to really hate this hand, huh. Lucky that my blood is like Brussel sprouts, right?” she tittered nervously, unsure how to decipher Edward’s reaction.

He took his time sauntering over to her, a hint of curiosity lighting his face.

“You need to be more careful,” he mentioned with mock disapproval, but lifted her hand up to him, examining the small wound.

Leah shrugged. “It’s really nothing, I’ll be -.” Her breath caught sharply when Edward suddenly inserted the tip her finger in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it.

Leah felt her knees turn to water as she gasped in surprise, both at what he was doing and what it made her feel. Her fear and uncertainty were replaced with a growing heat, and she held on to Edward for support. He was taking in her very essence, her very life, and she was taken aback by how aroused she was.

He slowly removed her from his mouth, his eyes penetrating and questioning, assessing her reaction.

“I thought you didn’t like it…my blood,” she asked, her voice breaking.

Edward smiled darkly and Leah felt her urges expand.

“I don’t crave it, but in the end, even with your built-in defense…blood is blood,” he explained. He closed his eyes again and licked up her finger, his venom sealing her cut. “I hate seeing you hurt, though, we both need to be a little careful.”

Her entire body shuddered at the contact, and she pulled herself closer to him, not exactly sure what she was asking of him. A small voice in the deep cavern of her desire that Edward constantly fed broke through her fog and pleaded.

More. Just…more.

Edward detected something in her face and his eyes lit in what Leah could only describe as triumph.  

“You liked it,” he stated with curiosity. “Why?”

Leah shook her head to unscramble her thoughts, to give voice to why something that had seemingly disgusted her in the past felt so irresistible with him. The miniature crisis in her head spilled out into an answer.

“I didn’t expect that,” she pushed back meekly. “I really didn’t. I can’t believe -.” She shook her head again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Edward’s mask was back up, his voice composed. “That was foolish and I’ve upset you.”

“No, Edward, don’t…it’s not you. I just thought something like that would be painful, and…it wasn’t?” she ended uncertainly.

“I’ll never hurt you,” he promised her again, his thumb brushing along the side of her neck, over her pulse. “I know at least that much…I could never hurt you.”

“I know,” Leah responded. She had said as much when they had started their evening and she felt the certainty of it. But it didn’t mean this had to be the end of something they both felt so deeply.  

“Can you…do it again?” Leah hedged, wanting to respect his boundaries but lusting for another opportunity. He had given her a taste and she felt mildly intoxicated.

Edward shook his head reluctantly, but there was a warring, hungry urge deep in his eyes.

“No, no, we shouldn’t, it was a risk I shouldn’t have taken. I just lost myself for a second.”

“I want you to. Please,” she coaxed, more impatiently than she intended. “There was a reason you did it. It’s natural for you.”

“That doesn’t mean I should,” Edward hesitated, and Leah knew she was winning, cracking the last defenses he had over his deepest, most primal urges: the urge to drink from her.

He didn’t need it for survival. She knew he wouldn’t take much. The act itself was so intimate, an unsaid exchange of devotion to each other bordering on obsession. They had both tasted it and it dragged them under. There was no silencing it now as it roared through them both.

Leah shifted her hair over her other shoulder, exposing the expanse of her neck where his thumb pressed against her.

He looked from her to her neck and back again, somewhat nervously. But there was no doubting where his true desire lay.

“You know all of me, now,” she whispered and leaned her head away, pulling the skin of her neck taut. Edward slowly dragged his face over hers, to the crook of her neck. “There’s nothing to hide anymore.”

Edward paused but then Leah felt wetness on her skin. He lapped at her neck a few times, his venom layering on her skin and soon she felt a tingle of numbness. She barely noticed when he expertly pierced her skin with his teeth, careful to make the opening as tight and inconspicuous as he could allow.

She felt the pull of the suction from his mouth and tongue and her fists clenched. She tensed in pleasure as his mouth drew a trickling stream of blood from her. It was as if she was revisiting the first few days after she had imprinted, the bond like broken glass and ecstasy flooding every atom.

 Her vision blurred and she groaned. Edward quickly sealed the cut, kissing her over the skin as he moved away.

“That’s enough for tonight,” he stated quietly but decisively. Leah couldn’t speak in her daze but nodded, her entire body electrified by what Edward had just done. She couldn’t help but notice the trace of her blood on his lip, the passionate, unrestrained longing for her on his face.  

“Come here,” she demanded weakly. He pulled her face obediently to his and kissed her hard, the gentle touch from earlier replaced with a desperation they both felt.

Leah knew they couldn’t deny themselves any longer.

“I can’t even describe what you do to me,” she admitted, almost painfully as she broke away. She freed herself from some notion that she needed to struggle for power, that she needed to control her feelings for him and allowed them to spill over. “It scares me, but I can’t imagine feeling anything else.”

“I am terrified,’ Edward admitted openly, lifting her and hugging her to him as she wrapped her legs around him. She could sense he was buoyant and restless as he barely held himself back from making quick work of shredding her clothes.  “Just stay with me here, be here with me now,” he pleaded with her. “I need you.”

She understood what he was saying. There was no point in holding back, in dwelling on doubts and insecurities, when they would be forced to choose each other, repeatedly, in the face of all obstacles. At least, in this moment, there was nothing that stood in their way to separate them.

He kissed and sucked at her neck as he carried her into the living room, carelessly kicking aside the massive coffee table and laying her on the couch.

They poured themselves and the darker shades of their bond into their lovemaking and it eased the intensity into something manageable. When they were done, a spent Edward sank down onto her, closed his eyes, and lay his cheek against her torso as she held him and rubbed his back: his own meditative form of sleep.

Only when the darkness receded beyond the curtained windows and the sky gradually lightened with the dawn, did Leah finally drift off again.  

Notes:

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Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Notes:

A/N: Own nothing but my original characters and plotlines. It’s all fun and games until the parents get involved :P Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 




Candy she’s sweet like candy in my veins

Baby I’m dying for another taste

And every night my mind is running around her
Thunder's getting louder and louder and louder

Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck
By your electric love
Baby, your electric love
Electric love

- Electric Love by BØRNS





The rest of their Saturday passed in a blur of lazy moments. Edward needed to leave in the morning to fill in for the ER just for half the day, with promises to make it back to her as soon as he could. Leah took the opportunity to explore his room further and make use of the gourmet ingredients in the fridge for an indulgent lunch. She read a few chapters of a period novel on the crooked coffee table and investigated the Cullen’s hung art, while avoiding the portrait of Carlisle. It seemed to grow increasingly mournful each time she passed it upstairs. Leah was in the middle of mentally cataloguing his various concert and band tees when Edward rushed upstairs, knocking into her and holding her up against his bookshelves.

Leah didn’t get a proper word in until almost an hour later, after getting out of the shower as Edward fiddled with his obnoxiously vintage record player. After stacking some books that littered the ground due to their recklessness, Leah stole a pair of Edward’s sweats and pulled on her UWash shirt.

“I’m wearing your boxers, in case you care,” she offhandedly mentioned. She clambered onto his bed, and propped herself on her elbows, peering over the edge at Edward.

“Well given you didn’t bring your clothes…or your phone…or your car with you, I’m happy to lend you anything, including my undergarments,” Edward smirked as he dug into a crate full of records that was stored under his bed.

“I went through all your stuff too,” she added.

“Find anything interesting?” Edward asked casually.

“There’s a Queen tee from their News of the World tour that you might lose in next couple days.”

“Ah, one of my favorites,” he reminisced. “I’ll be sad to lose that one. And you still have my Rumors vinyl. But such a small sacrifice for the greater good.”

“And the greater good would be…getting into my greater good?” Leah guessed.

Edward pulled her face down to his and nipped at her lower lip as he kissed her.

“Yes, among other things.”

Leah rolled her eyes and mussed his hair with both hands. She giggled at his unimpressed reaction. 

“I also opened that carved wooden chest on your desk. You have a lot of keepsakes.” Leah recollected the random items, no logic or reason to their order, but nestled in the thinly lined interior. Not an expensive box, likely midcentury mass produced, but it seemed to hold some importance for Edward.

Edward smiled, somewhat ruefully. “Did you see the crucifix?”

Leah nodded. “The silver one?”

“Yes. It was my mother’s. My human, biological one.”

Leah sat nonplussed. It hadn’t even occurred to her that he might have held on to some tokens from his past life; she had written it off as something of Carlisle’s passed down to him. But it seemed obvious to her now. She suddenly felt guilty, as if she had violated his privacy in a way that didn’t necessarily translate as endearing.  

“I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have snooped like that,” she apologized, and Edward just shook his head as he stood to retrieve the box.

“I left you alone in the house half the day, I can’t blame you for looking. I was going to show you eventually, anyway. I’m glad to do so now,” he remarked calmly. But Leah could see the stiff edges of his mouth. He wasn’t accustomed to talking about his life as a human, which likely remained at the center of his ongoing existential war against himself. She should never have peeked.  

Edward pulled out countless faded paper concert and show tickets, a lead toy soldier, the aforementioned crucifix that glinted in the afternoon light. He snorted a laugh and Leah relaxed a miniscule amount, seeing the irony.

“So you’re telling me it doesn’t brand your skin you when you put it on?” she joked, brushing the dangling cross with her fingers.

“No idea, I’ve never actually worn it,” Edward admitted. “I also don’t put a lot of stock into religious iconography, it feels hypocritical to wear something that counters my own beliefs. Or lack thereof.”

“Isn’t Carlisle a former priest? He must love it when you say things like that,” Leah observed in amusement. Leah wasn’t religious, more culturally spiritual and it seemed Edward had no particular allegiance to organized religion.

Edward shrugged and gently placed the necklace back in the box, to its own compartment on the side.

“Carlisle has never been one to impose his own religious views. He respects the rest of us are not particularly invested in that area, although Esme will accompany him to church now and again.”

“But it has sentimental value,” Leah provided for him.

“Yes, but even so, I barely remember her face. I have a photo somewhere, but I’m convinced it doesn’t do her justice.”

Leah’s chest pinched at the idea of losing her own memory of Sue and closed her hand over his, not quite knowing what to say. There was a hint of genuine sorrow in his voice.

“Show me more,” she urged, sliding her finger against a raised loop in the liner fabric. “What’s this?”

“Ahh, that,” Edward smiled suddenly, if secretively. “I’m not sure we want to have that discussion just yet.”

‘What?” Leah asked self-consciously. “That gives me anxiety, just tell me.”

Edward appraised her thoughtfully, not moving to open the hidden compartment.

“Are you hiding the key to the house where your secret family lives or something,” she joked nervously.

That would be my luck. And then I’d have to split weekends with them or something.

Edward opened his mouth in hesitation, on the cusp of brushing aside her curiosity and then simply shrugged. His fingers pulled at the loop and lifted a small slat, beneath which an object shone dully against the fabric of the shallow well in the wood.

“This,” Edward explained, leaving it unbothered, “was also my mother’s. A family heirloom of sorts. I wasn’t sure if one day I might need it…,” He eyed Leah cautiously.

“Oh, I just…” Leah was left speechless. Of all the things, a slightly tarnished white gold band set with a solitaire square diamond, flanked by floral accents was the last thing she had expected to find. A true art deco classic. “Wow, I didn’t know you were someone who subscribed to that sort of thing,” Leah finished.

“Commitment?” Edward asked in confusion.

“No, of course not,” Leah chuckled warily. “You are obviously a very committed person, vampire, etcetera. Marriage is just so…human?”

“So that wouldn’t be something that interests you?” Edward pointedly asked. There was no disappointment in his tone, but Leah detected a trace of resigned acceptance: A question he had been dwelling on to which he finally had an answer.

“Hold on, hold on,” Leah halted Edward’s hand before he could replace the slat. “Of course, I’ve thought about marriage. It’s something I could have imagined for myself, with the right person. And you are obviously the only right person,” Leah quickly emphasized.

“Then?” Edward softly urged.

“I don’t know,” Leah stated in frustration. She felt an itch climb over her body, a sudden awareness that she could very easily say the wrong thing. “Doesn’t it seem so insignificant to what we share? So mundane and gimmicky. We know what we are to each other, our families know, do we need validation from other people in that way?” Leah had always rebelled against expectations in some form or another, and this was no exception, she realized in that moment. Marriage leveled the pettiness that grew like a choking vine between two people and built resentment. Even if her parents had a good marriage, they weren’t immune to that.

“It certainly does not begin to even fathom the depth of what I feel for you, but Leah, I plan on devoting myself to you in every way possible, with or without marriage. And I’m not doing it for other people.” Edward’s eyes shone with heartfelt sincerity. “I love you. The idea of giving you my word and for you to not just know it, but see it in front of you, for all time…I want you to have that. Even if it is a faded symbol.” He earnestly searched her face. “I won’t be hurt if you say no, but I can’t imagine not marrying you. Even if it’s a millennia from now. Even if we’re the only two people who would ever know.”

Leah stared at the ring, her heart racing with a multitude of sentiments. Most too cloying and nauseating to state aloud without dying of awkwardness.

She laced Edward’s fingers with hers and kissed the back of it. “This is something you want?”

“Only if you want,” Edward stated with finality.

The imprint bond didn’t care for human abstractions like marriage and lay silent, neither thrusting Leah towards the idea of it, but not shying away either. It waited in contentment between them; its real job was already done. There was no right answer, only how they chose to move forward.

Of course, he wants it. Look at him. What are you afraid of? He would do anything for you. And even if he would never ask you to do something you don’t want to…who are you fooling, Leah?

“I don’t think you’d need to wait a millennia,” Leah softly teased with a glowing smile. She slid the tip of her finger along the circle of the band and pulled it away. “Ask me again,” she demanded.

Edward’s eyes widened in shock. “Right now.”

“No time like the present,” Leah stated matter of fact.

“Oh, no. Absolutely not.” Edward covered the ring and closed the box, swiftly moving between his desk and the bed and Leah’s smile disappeared. “These things cannot be rushed. My timing has to be impeccable; I don’t want you to see it coming if I can help it,” he explained.

“What…what?” Leah sputtered. “You just said…and now you don’t want to rush it?” She grew red and felt the echo of rejection which she struggled to ignore.

“Oh, my beautiful, wonderful, Leah,” Edward playfully explained as Leah pushed away his hand and rolled away from him, laying on her side. She felt him sidle up alongside and hold her from behind, spooning her as she fumed. “When I ask you, you won’t have the opportunity to think about it. I will get your full, unvarnished reaction.”

“So you’re going to torture me with the possibility of a proposal around every turn, and I’m just supposed to accept that I’ll be in hell trying to guess forever,” Leah grumbled.

“Only until I ask,” Edward reassured her.

“Or,” Leah offered loftily, turning over and burrowing a finger into his shoulder. “I could ask you and be done with it. What do you say to that?” He deftly avoided her pinching fingers but his stare was fathomless, a deep current of emotions that threatened to sweep her away.

“Ask me,” he gently encouraged. The atmosphere of the room shifted and Leah gazed back, knowing she had never backed down from a challenge if she could help it. And she wasn’t about to now.

“Edward Masen Cullen,” Leah drew out and Edward face was on verge of splitting into the biggest grin she had ever seen. He was excited, even with this prelude to a sham of a proposal, and Leah couldn’t resist making him so happy. “Do you want to follow each other around for the rest of our lives? Because at this point, you really don’t have a choice.”

“Such a romantic,” Edward commented in a faux swoon and Leah snickered, but he brought Leah’s hand to his chest. “It would be the honor of my life, to be your husband,” he finished so earnestly, that Leah’s store of sarcastic replies was starting to run very low.  

She smiled through the ache in her throat, the pain of knowing someone you loved so much never wanted much in return. Just the things you had already promised them, that had always been theirs.

I would give you the world if I could.

She recovered by palming Edward’s face and pushing it away affectionately. “Psyche.”

“No, you aren’t allowed to take it back.” His fingers found the sensitive spot in her side and he tickled her until she shrieked so loudly she was sure every living thing in a five mile radius could hear her. Breathless and laughing so hard that tears ran down her face, she begged him to let up. He obliged and grinned as he kissed her until she was breathless again for another reason completely.


****


The next morning Leah woke up in bed, entirely unsure how she had made it back upstairs after another long night with Edward. If the strewn pillows and blankets and a particularly fluffy comforter in the living room last night were anything to go by, she had definitely fallen asleep downstairs after giving Edward the ride of his life. But in typical Edward fashion he had obviously brought her somewhere to afford her more privacy and comfort. Given the toll on her back, Leah was grateful. She stretched happily, assessing the soreness of her muscles, and recounted the events preceding her pushing Edward onto the floor and straddling him for all she was worth.

The state of the art and immersive BOSE speaker system downstairs left Leah impressed but a little overwhelmed. Classical music streamed through the speakers as Leah poured herself a glass of wine from a bottle of Montepulciano in the pristine, untouched wine fridge. After slathering some avocado on toast and calling it dinner, against Edward’s protests she eat more, they retreated to the main room. Violin strings gave way to fast paced guitar as Edward decided to ramp up the energy a little and synced a playlist consisting of 60s and 70s classics; some Motown, a little bit of the Kinks, some Hendrix and Otis Redding.

“I appreciate we’re not using your phone, but why can’t you just be like every other guy who lives at home and break out your cheap ass portable Bluetooth speaker?” she joked, swaying a little in time to the music. Leah loved to dance with her friends, albeit dripping sweat in some dark, rundown bar backroom where the DJ used a playlist on a laptop and the bartender served dollar shots.

The awkward slow dancing with Edward notwithstanding, she had moves.

Edward shrugged. “Don’t have one of those.” But he seemed distracted by the movement of Leah’s swiveling hips as she found herself really feeling the music.

I guess it only takes a glass of wine nowadays. And the way he’s looking at you, yeesh, she thought.  

Edward was leaned back on the couch, drinking in her every move with hungry eyes that dared her to continue. His gaze grew increasingly heated until Leah rolled her eyes and strode over to him. The whole thing was feeling a little too backroom private dancer and she didn’t love being watched so attentively.

“Get up, you’re dancing with me. Fast this time.” She pulled him up as an upbeat tune began to play and shook her hair out all over him. He chuckled and spun her around. He matched her tempo, revealing himself to be a more than adequate dance partner, shaking his head and lip syncing the lyrics with her.

Leah’s mouth dropped open. “Do you have to be good at everything? Jeez, leave something for the rest of us!” Edward bopped around her a little, caught up in the music himself before answering her.

“I had to kill time over the last century with something. Dark, shadowy corners in all manner of concert halls were much preferred to enduring round after round of bridge or playing tennis in the sun,” he smoothly countered. Taking Leah’s hand and twirling her back roughly into his chest, he swayed them together to match the rhythm of the music, his energy flowing seamlessly into her and powering her body. “You should see me swing dancing, now that’s a sight.”

Leah guffawed. “Wow, I would pay to see that.”

“I’ll show you for free,” Edward replied, insinuation heavy in his voice. His hand crept over her stomach and until he reached the other side of her waist, essentially fastening her with one arm as his other hand rubbed down her arm.

Leah couldn’t contain her laughter and fell forward a little as Edward turned her.

“What, too corny?” he deadpanned.

“No, no, sorry,” Leah tried and failed to stop. She rubbed up Edward’s shoulders and planted them there as Sam Cooke began to croon. A slow dance song, a perfect excuse for Edward to pull her close by the waist and rest his forehead against hers. “You are the only person in existence who could pull off that line without sounding sleazy. It’s very impressive.” Edward’s face lit up with a proud smirk and he playfully dipped her, making her yelp.

“Then?” he asked again as he righted her again. Leah pondered her answer for a moment.

 “I was remembering that night at the hospital, when I nearly had a nervous breakdown, because, you know. You kept going on about a head injury…and I was trying so hard not to grab you.” Leah chuckled. “You were so on the straight and narrow, kinda oblivious, and I couldn’t run away fast enough. And now you’re offering me a free show.” Edward waggled his eyebrows before kissing her forehead. “Just…we’ve come a long way. But I’m still finding out things about you. I didn’t think the good doctor had dance moves, yet here we are.”

Edward scoffed. “Oh, I’ve got moves. All kinds. Although, I will say Esme can outshine me on anything to do with disco.”

“Esme, really?” Leah found herself wanting to know more.

“Oh yeah.” Edward nodded seriously. “The 70s were good to Esme, she really took to all things disco ball. I think it helped her really open up in a way she never could before. Bell bottoms and platforms galore. Even Carlisle got a suit and they tore it up every now and then. It was very freeing for them in a manner I can’t quite explain.”

“This is blowing my mind right now.”

Edward cracked his half smile, the dimple teasing her. “We contain multitudes.” A hand slid up her back and into her hair, as he massaged the back of her scalp. “As for that night, if Chief hadn’t arrived when he did, I was about to put you in a bed myself and hold you overnight. I was worried about your reaction to me and wanted to talk further. I was simultaneously having the strangest urge to tuck your hair behind your ears. In my twisted logic I thought that examining your hairline for injury would help it go unnoticed.” Leah smiled and rolled her eyes. “I knew you weren’t remotely unwell…in that way at least.”

“That’s probably a good thing, that you weren’t so obvious. If I had any indication that you were giving me the go ahead, Paul definitely would have caught us making out instead of hugging.”

Edward increased pressure on Leah’s scalp and almost brought her to her knees as she let out a satisfied groan. “Speaking of, I’m having a very hard time focusing when you say things like that. I don’t want to push my luck, but what are the chances I can convince you to go to bed early? I bet I know a few ways to put you to sleep.”

“Oh, sleepy are you?” Leah teased. Her buzz had worn off very quickly given her metabolism and she was hoping to grab a second glass of wine. But that urge was quickly disappearing with her shaky legs and the thought of another night with Edward. She wouldn’t push him to draw blood again so soon, but she was hopeful that his enthusiasm for what they did was overcoming his fear. She wanted that to continue and for him to be at her mercy for once, thrashing while she drove him crazy,

At my mercy in a very particular way, she thought.   

“So tired,” Edward exaggerated. “Can barely keep my eyes open.” He pretended to yawn, and Leah released him, giggling. “Go up first, I’ll clean up and turn off the lights.”

Leah raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

“No?” Edward asked in slight confusion. “Do you want to go up together, just give me a minute…”

The music ended as Leah shook her head again and instead shoved him back on the couch.

“I don’t want to go up at all. I’d much rather go down.” She dropped to her knees and began to unbutton his jeans, and Edward’s hand immediately flew to hers. She stared back up at him wide eyed and turned on by his unnecessary shallow breathing. She was getting to him.

Edward assessed her calmly, but she noticed his eyes darting every which way.

“You really don’t need to. It’s okay…,” he began, but didn’t stop Leah as she brought him out of his boxers and jeans.

“Oh, it will be more than okay,” Leah teased and pumped her hand a few times before wrapping her lips around him.

The only sounds he made after that were unintelligible, but he stopped her halfway through her efforts. They then kissed so haphazardly that Edward had eventually landed on his back and Leah had assumed the position, stripping off her top so he would get an eyeful. It might’ve just been her imagination, but she was pretty sure Edward had enjoyed that view more than anything else he had seen the past few days.

 “Morning, love.” The man leaning in the doorway, warily looking her up and down as she lay naked beneath his sheets, interrupted her musings.

“Mmmhmm,” Leah greeted back, scrunching her face and stretching her arms up and outward as her joints cracked. “It might be morning, but I’m exhausted. You really made me work for it last night.”

“Oh, my fault was it?” Edward accused. She noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his left hand and he set it on the bedside table before taking a seat on her edge of the bed. “You quite literally took matters into your hands.”

Mmmm, is that ginger?

Ginger root and lemon mixed with some loose black tea,” he explained as if he had just read her mind.  

He’s never wrong. Stupid vampire instincts.

The aroma made her forget to be annoyed. “Thank you. But why did you get up so early? Do you have to go into work?” she asked with a frown.

According to Edward’s clock, it was only 7:30 AM. On a Sunday. And as much as she had protested, Leah didn’t like waking up without Edward surrounding her.

Blame the imprint.

He tucked some unkempt hair behind her ear.

“Just putting everything downstairs in order. There were also a few things about the family’s holdings, some stock portfolios I needed to review before taking action on them tomorrow,” he explained, searching her face and then body. Even now, he was passively checking Leah’s vitals; she could tell by the way his eyes grazed the pulse points of her body. Still ever vigilant about her safety despite the fact they had both endured the other quite well.

“Ahh, financial master of the universe type shit, I get it,” Leah answered. She didn’t even want to get close to asking how much money the Cullens had and how they maintained it. Or the fact she was pretty sure Edward was cleaning up to remove any trace of their brazen romps over both floors of the house. “Carry on.”

“You have muscle inflammation, I can tell you’re very sore,” he abruptly stated. “Can I get you a painkiller? Or I can massage your lower back, there seems to be a small contusion…”

“Edward,” Lead deadpanned. “I’m sore in the best way possible. I don’t need a painkiller, I’m fine. I’ve had period cramps that were way worse.” She walked her fingers up his arm and fiddled with the neck of his crew sweater. “But if a massage is what you’re after, then by all means.”

“No,” Edward warned, gently removing her hand. Leah pouted. “You need a break. Given your state, we should’ve slowed it down, but I’m a complete fool when you look at me like you did.” Leah widened her eyes and looked at him through her lashes. “Yes, like that.”

“You didn’t seem to mind so much last night.”

“Yes, and that’s the problem,” Edward stressed. “I can actually tell where my hands have pressed too tightly and where you’ve overexerted yourself. I should know better.”

“Edward, please stop finding new things to self-flagellate over. I think we should take it as a good sign that we both lost control at various points this weekend and the worst outcome was a strained muscle and a small bruise. It will get even easier from here and I’m only getting stronger.”

 Edward relented on the guilt but stood firm on his refusal. “Let’s just take a breath so you don’t get worn down completely before that happens.” Coming from any other man, that would have seemed like some arrogant, self-serving pat on the back, about his own sexual prowess. From Edward…it was his heightened medical intuition and not unrealistic concern that Leah was burning out trying to keep up with him.

“Ugh,” Leah fell back against her pillow. “So, I guess you won’t be joining me in the shower I plan on taking,” she entreated in a muffled voice, attempting to draw him in.

Edward hesitated.

“I promise no funny stuff.” Leah sat back up. “It just might be nice getting some  help washing my hair,” she added hopefully.

Edward bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing.

“I can’t deny you anything,” Edward complained lightly, rubbing a thumb over her cheekbone. “It’s a sickness.”

“Oh yeah, tell me about it, marriage boy,” Leah shot back, rolling her eyes.

Edward grinned and shook his head, but after Leah drank her tea and brushed her teeth, he spent the next half hour with her under the rainfall spout in his ample walk-in shower. She weakly attempted to start something but even she had to admit defeat. An Edward sex hangover was probably the best kind, but she was having issues propping herself up.

She gave in and leaned against Edward, simply enjoying the threading of his fingers in her long hair as he lathered the shampoo and pressed on her scalp. He massaged her neck and every one of her aching muscles under the warm water and almost lulled Leah back to sleep as she stood blissfully silent.

Edward washed his own hair at record speed, ensuring Leah rinsed off. He was even gracious enough (i.e. more than eager) to allow Leah to run her hands up and down the dips and ridged muscles of his dripping body. He surrendered as she crushed him against the tiled wall while they lethargically kissed. His fingers brushed over the tip of her breast before he cupped it as she kissed down along his neck, rivulets of water splashing her back. It wasn’t fair how appealing he was while completely drenched. But he finally paused when Leah’s hands wandered a little too far south and then handed her another thick towel.

“I’ll be downstairs,” he informed her as he rushed out of the shower. And given the state of Edward’s lower half, the erection that had been trapped between them, she knew he was trying to avoid temptation.

“You can run but you can’t hide,” she called after him, “And I’m stealing your clothes again.”

“You have no idea how fast I can run. And, be my guest,” he threw back over his shoulder.



****


After toweling her hair from dripping to merely damp, she took her time getting dressed in another pair of Edward’s sweats. And she pulled on a Vanderbilt University sweatshirt from deep in his closet that had to be at least two decades old.

It smelled like him.

When she entered the kitchen to put the mug back in the sink, she found Edward engrossed in his laptop and a soccer match playing on mute on the giant flatscreen opposite them in the living room. No evidence of their good time last night remained. But their comingled scent pervaded the entire floor.

She rinsed out the mug, opened a window overlooking the backyard and slid up onto the slab of granite that served as an island and Edward’s desk.  

“Are you hungry? Shall I make you something?” Edward asked without looking up. He rapidly clicked a few keys and moved onto another set of documents. Leah caught the words Sector Fund and diverted her gaze.

Stop snooping.

“No, I’ll grab something in a bit. Maybe a banana.” A bunch sat cheerily in a fruit bowl behind her.

“Okay,” Edward conceded, his eyes still engaged with the screen. A player ran down the field and slid on his knees in celebration after a goal on the television.

“You’re missing the game, stud,” Leah prompted, nudging her foot against Edward’s thigh. He smiled briefly and caught her ankle, rubbing it. Leah’s heart skipped a beat, how unassuming he was in his focus, no idea how devastatingly magnetic he was in that moment.

She needed to get a hold of herself.


The screen highlighted the team names: Arsenal v. Chelsea. Edward had mentioned before that he was a pretty big Chelsea fan and it was the only team he really followed. Leah knew little to nothing about soccer; she had been more of a basketball fan and even then, a casual one. The rules of soccer somewhat confounded her.

She decided maybe she would educate herself since Edward was otherwise occupied and moved to jump off the counter. She was stalled by the sudden appearance of Edward between her legs.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he murmured, dragging his nose down her neck. He locked his hands on her waist and squeezed gently. Much more gently given his apprehension this morning over her soreness.

“The…the game,” Leah gulped. After his initial reluctance, Leah had no plan to push her luck. “Also, you’re busy with something obviously important, I don’t want to distract you. Do your thing.”

“You should know by now, I’m never too busy for you.” He kissed her temple and inhaled again. “Damn, you smell good.”

“It’s called soap, Edward,” Leah joked. “And you were there when it was scrubbed it on me.” She recalled the grip and slide of his hands.

“It’s not that. Your skin,” he spoke against her neck and Leah nearly melted. “Just your scent, I can’t get enough.”

“Okay, Buffalo Bill,” Leah sarcastically replied, though her tone weakened with every passing second. She knew a thing or two about obsessing over scents, specifically cedar and saltwater. “Next thing I know you’re going to be wearing me.” She froze in terror that she might have offended or hurt him with that comment, given his past history. Although he probably hadn’t skinned anyone, she was sure, she had just compared him to a fictional serial killer.

Edward merely chuckled.

“I promise I’m not that bad, might just keep you locked in this house for eternity so you’ll never leave.”

“That’s not such a bad deal if you stay locked up too,” Leah replied, kissing him lightly. “Sorry, I obviously do not think you’re a crazed killer.”

Edward leaned back with an incredulous look on his face. “I can take a joke, Lee. You don’t need to censor anything with me.”

Leah’s shoulders slumped. “I know…just let me know if I’m pushing your boundaries. I seem to end up with my foot in my mouth more often than not.”

“That’s one of the things I love about you, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Even so,” Leah stilled his creeping hand. “I asked things of you. It’s only fair I play by the same rules.”

Edward shrugged. “You’re already very good about respecting my boundaries, love. You’re much more thoughtful than you give yourself credit for.” He swept some hair away from her face and Leah dwelled in his words. She remembered being branded by the pack as selfish as a teenager; Jake’s sneer as he labeled her toxic. And Edward had conversely called her just the opposite. He saw her as something else, entirely.

The narrative running in her head skipped gently, as if it had been snipped in half.

Maybe she wasn’t what others had called her before. Maybe they were the ones who were selfish, and Leah had been the perfect, vulnerable surface for them to project their own damage.

Maybe. Just maybe.

“That’s a really nice thing to say,” she replied huskily, her heart in her throat. She had only spoken to Edward about Sam’s concession, not the fallout with Jake.

“It’s the truth,” Edward reassured her, a little confused. He lifted her chin to meet her gaze. “Why would you ever think otherwise?”

Leah shook her head, not wanting to lay her trauma again at his feet.

“What do I smell like, to you? Other than human,” she asked, clearing her throat and changing the topic. Edward pretended not to notice.

“Like jasmine at night,” he answered with a small smile. “And the wind. Like petals caught in a storm. Heady and delicate and overwhelmingly strong all at once. And like life itself, skin and bone and blood all alive and working together to build you. To form all of you.”

“Oh,” Leah mouthed, his description rendering her nearly speechless. “That’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” Edward tilted his head and studied her face. “And occasionally your wolf scent reminds me that you could kill me if you wanted.”

Leah hacked out a laugh and bumped her forehead against his as he grinned back.

“You smell like the ocean at First Beach. Because the salt in the air mixes with the cedar trees,” Leah supplied abruptly, her confession unreeling itself rapidly from her thoughts as if she would forget otherwise. “My mom has a traditional cedar bark skirt and it would flood the house with that scent anytime we opened the box she kept it in. You remind me of it. And you smell sweet and clean, like a good whiskey. I want to steal all your clothes and make them into sheets.”

“Or I could just be in the bed with you, but I’ll take that as the highest compliment,” Edward teased her but then reverently brushed his fingertips across her lips. “Leah Clearwater, more than any scent or memory…I love you so much. So, so much.”

The lump in Leah’s throat grew again. She had heard those words in the throes of passion, with their gentle teasing during the night, and offhandedly here and there. But it was another thing completely, to hear it so plainly stated in the harsh light of day with no screen to hide behind. It was so much more difficult to process.

He does. You deserve it. You deserve this.

The small voice in her head reassured her in this special moment that she didn’t need to take herself out of it. That she could accept it without questioning or qualifying or deflecting. Her imprint bond wrapped itself in a hug around her to shield her from her own self.

“The last few days have felt like a dream, Edward. I…,” she sincerely started but Edward interrupted her.

“Someone’s coming up the drive.” He perked up and cocked his ear to better isolate the sound. “Carlisle and Esme shouldn’t be here for another hour or so.”

And that’s when Leah heard it to, the crunch of asphalt under tires as a car drove up to the Cullen’s house.

“Oh, my. I think…” Edward paused, struggling to keep from laughing in disbelief. “I think it’s your mother, Lee. I can hear her talking to herself.”

What? What!!??

Leah hurriedly hopped down and scraped her hair into a bun as she wildly searched the living room.

“My shirt,” she yelled. Edward stared at her in bemusement. “My shirt, Edward, my shirt, the one you basically tore off me on Friday. And last night.”

That shirt saw some action. And mom cannot find it stuck in a couch cushion.

Edward bowed his head, shoulders still shaking from laughter. “It’s washed and folded, in the laundry room. As are your shorts. It’s okay, Lee.”

“Oh, this is so far from okay, you have no idea,” she moaned as she heard footsteps on the flagstone path leading to the door. “What is she doing here?”

“Well, you did leave your phone at home…,” Edward started.

“Whose side are you on???” Leah screeched at him as Edward help up his hands in surrender.

The doorbell rang, softly and patiently, but all Leah heard was a death knell.

“Don’t answer it.” Leah stared at Edward, daring him to move.

Edward remained uncomfortably stuck, his eyes cutting a trail to the door.

“My love, we cannot leave her standing there. She is your mother,” he reasoned gently.

Leah deflated, knowing Sue’s mood would only curdle with each second she was left waiting.  

“Fine, stay here,” she grumbled at Edward and stomped towards the front door. She heard Edward close his laptop and turn off the television behind her. Maybe, with some luck, she could convince Sue to leave after making an appearance and reassuring her she was completely intact.

More than fine.

Leah took a deep breath and swung the door open, now face to face with an incredibly disapproving Sue.

“She lives!” Sue sarcastically thundered. “You don’t call. You don’t write. Daughter of mine, I’ve been wondering what you’ve been up to.” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, the same look she had given to a reluctantly humbled Leah several times over the years. But this time Leah wouldn’t back down.

“I left you a note, mother. I told you I’d be back this afternoon,” Leah quietly seethed, knowing it wouldn’t do any good and that Edward was hanging on every word.

And probably laughing, the jerk.

“Oh Leah, that doesn’t cut it and you know it. You don’t leave your phone behind and expect me to just accept that your safe.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “I am an adult. You need to give me a little space…”

“I’ve given you more than enough space, a whole thirty-six hours’ worth. Now let me in!”

“You can’t just push your way into someone’s house, uninvited,” Leah sputtered in horror, latching onto any excuse that would magically turn her mother in the other direction. “It’s so rude…and crazy!”

“Watch me, hon,” Sue sneered, adjusting her red acetate frames. “You have no idea how crazy your old mom can get.”

Shoving Leah aside with her shoulder, Sue strode into the Cullen’s house, taking in the impressive interior and Edward’s relaxed posture against the kitchen island.

“Oh…wow,” Sue breathed out, more subdued. Leah wasn’t sure if she was expressing her appreciation at the house or, well…Edward.

Oh, gross.

“Mrs. Clearwater, hello,” Edward melodiously greeted, his voice like ripples in water, as if Sue showing up were the most natural occurrence in the world. It made Leah shiver pleasantly. “I’m Edward. Welcome and please come in.”

Sue’s mouth gaped for a few more seconds, a mixture of awe and some discomfort clear on her face, before she clamped it shut and gave Edward a tight smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Edward. At least someone in this house has some manners,” she stated pointedly, looking Leah up and down.

Leah rubbed her shoulder uncomfortably and Edward bit his bottom lip.

This is beyond humiliating.

“Please, have a seat.” Edward motioned Sue further in, to the kitchen and the velvet cushion stools lined up against the island. “Leah was just about to have some breakfast. Can I get you anything? I know your daughter is a tea drinker, but we have coffee and juice as well,” he offered.

Leah saw that Sue was a little lost for words, somewhat thrown off by Edward’s generosity and the fact a vampire was offering her refreshment. She now inwardly gloated to herself.

Serves you right, storming in here like a maniac.

She looked to Leah for guidance and Leah just raised her eyebrows in question.

“Well tea…tea is just fine, Edward. Mint, if you have it. Thank you,” Sue stuttered. But then she resolutely pulled out a stool and sat upon it, drumming her fingers on the counter and Leah frowned.

If she knew her mother (and she knew her to an extreme fault) she sensed an interrogation was brewing.

“Let me get the water,” Leah exclaimed, grabbing the kettle from the stove and busying herself at the sink. Edward passed her with a teabag from the cupboard and she felt the ghost of his hand on her back.

“Breathe, love,” he whispered under his breath.

“You breathe,” she muttered and she heard a small chortle.

“So,” Sue loudly began and Leah cringed as she turned on a gas burner. “Leah has made it clear in no uncertain terms that you two are in a relationship. And that you intend for it to stay that way. That it’s serious. Which is why I’m assuming she felt it was okay to run away for two days without leaving me even a phone number where she could be reached.”

Ughh, kill me.

Edward nodded humbly. “That is true, Mrs. Clearwater. I love your daughter and we are together. She was never in any danger and I’ll be sure to provide you with my mobile and the number to our house landline. You’re welcome to call anytime.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have needed to if Leah had just taken her phone,” Sue sniffed, but Leah could tell she was mildly assuaged by Edward’s words. “But I’ll take it. Especially because it seems Leah will be spending her free time here. And apparently her nights.”

Leah coughed in embarrassment.

“Okaaayy, Mom. Maybe we talk about something else.”

“What?” Sue asked tartly. “I am not completely clueless, Lee. You’re obviously going to be staying over whenever the mood strikes you, but I barely know anything about Edward.”

She turned to Edward and fixed him with an honest, assessing stare. “No offense, Edward. But I really don’t. Other than speaking to your father the few times I’ve had to cover at Forks General. And that you’re a vampire.”

“What the hell, mom!” Leah whisper shrieked and covered her face, now flushed and hot.

“What?” Sue asked, glancing between them. “Let’s all be adults here. Leah, calm down and maybe get some water, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

The tea kettle whistled but Leah was sure she also had steam flowing from her ears.

Sue declined milk and sugar and Edward passed her a steaming eggshell colored mug.

She took a sip and nursed her tea.

“I want to ask you some questions,” she directed towards Edward after a moment.

“I am more than happy to tell you anything you want to know,” Edward offered calmly.

“Do you drink humans,” Sue blurted out.

“No,” Edward simply replied. “My family drinks the blood of animals.”

“But not the La Push wolves,” Sue followed up.

“No, no,” Edward smiled. “It would be antithetical for us to crave the blood of a shapeshifter. Too much…uncertainty.”

“Uncertainty…that they wouldn’t taste good?” Sue hedged.

“More like uncertainty that they wouldn’t kill us if we tried,” Edward supplied bluntly. “It’s in my best interests to not do so.”

Leah smirked and crossed her arms.

“Oh, okay.” Sue fiddled with the handle of her mug. “I knew you were strong Lee, just not how strong, I guess.”

“I can take care of myself,” Leah emphasized, leaning back against the counter next to Edward who rubbed her shoulder affectionately.

Sue observed their familiarity with each other with a blank gaze.

“I promise, you and your daughter have nothing to fear from me, Mrs. Clearwater. I would never put her in harm’s way. She is the most important person in the world to me.”

Leah glowed at his remarks and registered the genuine emotion in Edward’s expression – an unsaid pledge over the lengths he would go to ensure Leah’s happiness and safety.  

“You two certainly have a flair for the dramatic in common. I’ll say that much,” Sue sighed and took another sip. “And tell me, when these feelings change, when one of you decides they want out, what happens then?”

Leah and Edward immediately faced each other in amusement and turned back to Sue at the same time.

“That’s not going to happen,” Leah confidently stated.

“I think it’s safe to say that certain circumstances would make that impossible, Mrs. Clearwater,” Edward reassured her again.”

“Call her Sue,” Leah lightly suggested.

“No, Mrs. Clearwater is just fine, thanks,” Sue retorted, narrowing her eyes.  “And why? What circumstances?”

‘Vampires mate for life,” Leah flung back hotly, her patience growing thin.

“Oh,” Sue sat nonplussed. “Well, I suppose that makes sense if you’re going to live forever, but you’re not a vampire, Lee. Unless I’m missing something.” Sue glanced between them again.

Oooh boy, she’s going to make me say it.

“As a wolf, I…,” Leah hesitated and Edward grasped her hand, holding it tightly in support. “I can develop a bond as well. Under similar circumstances. The way Sam did with Emily. And Quil did with Claire. You see how they are with each other. Like that.”

Sue remained silent at the revelation and Leah nervously squeezed Edward’s hand back. She attempted to wait for her mother’s reaction but the quiet grew unbearable.

“Mom, please say something.”

Sue studied her for a minute and finally spoke. “And this is something you want?”

“Yes, obviously. Look, it’s not like we were forced together, okay.”

You kinda were but, please, continue.

“There were preexisting feelings and deep emotions that fed into it. Things I can’t exactly explain, but we work together. We just do. And we’re going to continue to make it work.”

“And you,” Sue pointed back at Edward. “You’re okay with the idea of being the object of Leah’s obsession? Because that’s what it looks like half the time with Quil and Claire. I caught him holding her chewing gum once while she drank some water, the weirdo.” Sue shuddered.

“As she mentioned, I mated with Leah. It is inextricable and I couldn’t break away even if I wanted to. And I most definitely would never want to.” Edward smiled in amusement. “And I can you assure you I don’t chew gum.”

“I also get a say mom, I’m not just drifting behind Edward like some lovesick idiot.” Edward nodded in agreement. “I determine boundaries, we communicate, we’ve made promises. There’s a lot of good to come from this.”

“Oh yeah, it’s great,” Sue let out a high pitched, disbelieving laugh. “I’ve determined you’re both equally insane. It’s a great match.”

“Mom,” Leah huffed, squeezing her temples. She was pretty sure she felt a headache coming on.

“And your parents are okay with this?” Sue questioned Edward, almost desperately as if she were eager to stumble on some flaw. “Carlisle seems like a very balanced and reasonable man, I have to believe he has an opinion over this.”

“Edward is over a hundred years old mom, it’s not like Carlisle can ground him and send him to his room,” Leah griped and Edward covered his mouth to suppress a grin.

“That’s…a lot to process.”

Edward broke in so Sue wouldn’t dwell to much on that revelation. “They are both extremely happy for me and Leah. I’m sorry to say this is a healthy and loving relationship, Mrs. Clearwater. There is no catch or strings attached or demands that we’re making of each other. I never want to limit Leah, I want everything for her. I’ve lived a number of different ways in every place imaginable, but the only one that matters to me now is right by her side. The advantage of this is that I can adapt wherever Leah chooses to go next in life, the possibilities for her are endless. Please believe me when I say I would never influence her decisions for the worse.”

She considered him for a moment.

“You seem like a nice boy Edward and, look, I’m fine with you dating whoever you both want. But Leah has friends and a community and a life. What are we talking about next here, marriage?” Sue asked tiredly. “It feels like too much, too fast.”

“That will be for us to decide,” Leah stated. “When have I ever given up anything in my life for a guy? And you’re one to talk, you and Dad got married after five months of dating.”

“That was different,” Sue argued. “We were young and impulsive and I’d known him my whole life!”

“I’ve known Edward and the Cullens since I was fifteen.”

True, but you forgot to mention you hated them.

Sue threw up her hands. “You have an answer for everything, don’t you.”

“Mom,” Leah approached her a little more gently this time. “I’m sorry, but like I said the other day, I’m not asking permission. This is the reality of my situation, one that I very much want. We can go around in circles, again and again, or you could accept that I’m happy and be satisfied I’ll never make any major life changes without letting you know first.”

Just don’t mention the ring and quasi proposal.

Sue sighed and set down her mug with a thud. “Well, I guess there’s nothing else to say. I think you’re both much too eager and not exactly thinking clearly. But I’m just the human in this whacko supernatural love connection, what do I know?” She exhaled deeply. “As long as you promise not to run off and get hitched in the next six months, I am open to seeing how this plays out,” she chewed out.

“Wow.” Leah clapped sarcastically. “What an endorsement.”

“Do not push me, young lady,” Sue warned. “And Edward, I’ll take a refill.” She tapped her mug.

Edward, quietly observing the battle, straightened up enthusiastically and set about filling her mug.

“Of course, Mrs. Clearwater.”

“Suck up,” Leah whispered under her breath.

“I want her to like me, give me a break,” Edward whispered back with humor.

Sue sighed again and rubbed at her temples. “That’s very formal, Edward. Sue is fine.”

“Of course, Sue, it’s my pleasure,” Edward smirked and then glanced expectantly at the back door leading out of the kitchen into the yard. A few seconds later Leah heard the soft shuffle of deliberately slow footsteps and the smell of two other vampires invaded her senses.

Oh mom, please, please be chill, she begged Sue with her eyes.

 The knob turned slowly and Carlisle and Esme stepped inside, both clad in incredibly flattering jeans and sweaters, attempting to be as unintrusive as possible even though this was their home,

Sue could learn something from them.

“What a delight, two Clearwaters when we only expected one,” Carlisle greeted pleasantly. “Very happy to see you Sue, it’s been much too long,”

Carlisle’s sincerity was unmatched and never put upon. It made it so Sue couldn’t contain her smile at his words.

“Yes Carlisle, wonderful to see you. You too, Esme. Sorry to have barged in like this, but Edward was nice enough to indulge me a little this morning.”

Ha, she’s not sorry.

Esme stepped beside Leah with a warm smile, which she returned, and gave her friendly tap on the shoulder. Up close, Leah thought Esme could’ve been Lana Turner’s sister, except with darker brown hair.

“You and your mother being in the same room, I can finally notice you bear such a striking resemblance to each other,” she said in her wind chime voice, almost ruefully glancing between the two of them. There was a fleck of sadness in her eyes that appeared and then dissipated so suddenly, Leah thought she imagined it.

“Oh Esme, don’t be fooled, she may have gotten my looks,” Sue pointed out. “But that attitude is all her father.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that. Take credit where it’s due,” Leah countered in a saccharine tone, growing increasingly annoyed. Edward discreetly rubbed the small of her back, and she felt herself instantly relax. 

The Cullens, pretending not to notice the silent standoff between Leah and Sue, pressed them to stay for lunch.

“We have plenty of food. Ever since Edward and Leah began seeing each other, we keep the fridge fully stocked,” Esme mentioned proudly. Leah remembered how much she had helped herself to the Cullen’s house the last few days and embarrassment began to seep in once again.

“Yes, I can’t thank you both enough for the hospitality. I keep telling Edward it’s too much,” Leah stated, staring Edward down as he shrugged. “We don’t want to impose.”

 “This is Edward’s home, so by extension yours,” Carlisle reassured her. “You can come and go as often as you like. And please stay a while longer, we missed the excitement this morning.”

“Careful Carlisle, give a girl an inch and she’ll take a mile,” Sue muttered.

“Thanks, mom.”

Carlisle went to stand opposite Sue at the island to divert her attention, resting his hands before him. He really was quite handsome. Maybe not like Edward, but he carried an air of unassuming authority you couldn’t help but gravitate towards.

“Sue, maybe we can put your mind at ease. Esme I have full faith in Edward and Leah’s relationship and the choices they are making. But even so, I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone with deeper roots than Leah. And knowing you, I would guarantee she is incapable of losing herself,” he coaxed.

“That might be so. But don’t you think this is a little too fast?” Sue implored, glancing between Carlisle and Esme.

“I guess we don’t even exist anymore,” Leah mentioned loudly to Edward. Esme fondly patted Leah’s shoulder and moved towards Carlisle.

“Well, once acknowledged, a mating bond is quite difficult to ignore. Feelings tend to accumulate…quickly,” Esme explained, looking fondly at Carlisle who returned the sentiment. It was disgustingly cute and heartwarming. “And though a bond varies from each pair, we know many mated couples who are quite modern in their approach and sustain a very fulfilling lifestyle like ours. Like everyone in our family.” Leah was grateful Esme hadn’t specifically mentioned Edward’s siblings, which might have been too much for Sue to comprehend.  

“Yes, in fact one such pair is visiting us next Saturday, just in town for a few hours,” Carlisle supplied eagerly. “Tanya and Garrett, like-minded friends of ours for quite some time.”

Leah felt her entire body go rigid. She saw Edward turn towards her in alarm in her peripheral vision.

“And I can say, you will be hard pressed to find anyone who could tell Tanya what she can and can’t do,” Esme joked. “She is absolutely the driving force. Poor Garret just tries to keep up every now and then.”

Carlisle hummed in agreement. “The bond is more of a supportive, guiding light than something that chains two people together or erases their individuality, Sue. It will become even more apparent to Edward and Leah and the rest of us in time, I’m confident.”

“Sure, but Leah’s also got something on her end that sounds crazier than any so-called mating could ever be,” Sue started up again. Leah was actually intensely curious as to Carlisle and Esme’s take on the matter, but a certain name wouldn’t cease echoing in her head.

“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” Leah promptly stated, gritting her teeth, and moving in the direction of the stairs.

“Hold on, Lee. I brought you these. Wasn’t sure how you were getting along without them.” Sue lifted a cloth bag from under her seat. “Maybe then you can return Edward here his wardrobe.” Leah gingerly grabbed it and peered inside, clocking a black bra, cotton underwear, socks, a pair of jeans and a short sleeve green tee. Underneath it all were her brand new VEJA sneakers. She quickly shut the bag and proceeded upstairs without another word.

My humiliation is complete.

“I, uh…need to return my laptop upstairs. I’ll be right back.” Leah heard Edward excuse himself and slowly follow behind her into his room.

She ripped off Edward’s sweatshirt over head and quickly clasped her bra. Edward placed his laptop on his desk and patiently watched her as she emptied the bag onto his bed.

I’m not angry. I have no reason to be angry. I’m not…fuck, I’m pissed.

Edward was still staring.

“What?” Leah ground out defensively. “I’m just changing.”

“Would you like for me to leave?” he asked quietly, his mask of calm making a return appearance.  

“This is your room, Edward. Stay or go, it’s up to you,” she answered offhandedly while internally fuming. “But maybe turn around because I don’t feel very sexy with my mom downstairs.” Edward obliged and she took off her remaining clothes, pulling on her underwear and jeans.

“Okay turn around,” she sighed, feeling beyond stupid.

He approached her carefully, his mouth curved down in a worried frown.

Guilt tugged at her. She hated doing that to him. Her imprint bond scolded her for her unreasonable anger.  

“It means absolutely nothing, Lee,” he assured her warily.

“I never said it was something,” Leah answered hotly, buttoning her jeans.

“They are just stopping by for a few hours, one mere morning,” Edward broached. “I’ll say hello and then I’ll slip out. You cannot possibly be worried.”

Leah scoffed furiously and planted her hands on her hips. “I am a big girl, Edward. I do not need to be handled regarding your ex.”

“Then tell me what the matter is,” Edward pleaded.

“Just don’t handle me, that’s all,” she mumbled, scratching her arm.

“Leah…,” Edward hesitated.

“How the hell do I compete!” Leah started, staring at the floor as her eyes filled with angry, unshed tears.

“There is no competition,” Edward stated in disbelief. “Tanya is a friend that I have absolutely no feelings for. If there’s anyone to be competed with, it’s you.”

“Oh yeah?” Leah began to number the evidence, ugly insecurities rearing their head as she counted off. “She’s a centuries old vampire, with whom you have a ton in common, that is exceedingly beautiful by your own account, who your family loves, so much so they present her as an ideal example of what a mating bond could be. And she just drops by whenever she wants.”

Edward closed his eyes in frustration and shook his head.

“Anyone else, I could understand, but someone you used to sleep with, who you said was in love with you…how do I deal with this?” Leah’s jealously bubbled up like a toxic puddle and she hated herself in that moment.

This was not model imprint behavior and she was trying and failing to contain her feelings.

“She’s mated,” Edward repeated, stunned. “Those feelings are gone. And never existed for me, you know this.”

Leah’s shoulders dropped and she covered her face, so ashamed of what she was feeling.  

“I know. I know I’m being completely irrational. And somehow, it’s not enough.” Tears slid down her face and she angrily wiped at them.

“Do you not want me to see her?” Edward asked determinedly, close but not touching her. He was wise to the fact that she was serious about not being handled. “We can be together during that time, anywhere you want. Lord knows it’s what I’d rather be doing.”

“Fucking hell, no. I refuse to be that person. I am absolutely not going to be someone who tells you who you can and can’t be friends with Edward. That’s so gross,” she scoffed, feeling some sanity return to her head.

“Then?” Edward urged. “What can I do to help? I will do anything to make you understand I only want to be with you.”

At least there’s one limit you won’t break. Jeez, lady, pull yourself together.

She took a few calming breaths and threw up her hands in defeat.

“We got one weekend, Edward,” she choked out miserably. “One short weekend and then my mom intruded like a raging lunatic. And Tanya is now in the picture. And life…life is making it difficult here. Really damn hard because I don’t want to be away from you anymore. And I shouldn’t have to keep explaining myself. I was ready before, but it’s wearing me down.” Jake’s damning words and her mom’s doubts and an image of Esme and Carlisle laughing with Tanya, all taunted her. Leah suddenly realized there was so much more brewing under the surface than some jealousy over a non-threat.

“My love.” Edward, seemingly understanding, finally took her hand and sat on the bed. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her to him. “You are more welcome in this house than Tanya ever could be. You know that if it were up to me, you would have moved in already. Or both of us into the cottage. But I know that is not something you want.”

Leah had to admit it to herself: She would miss La Push too much, being so near to her mom’s house, drum circles and cookouts at the beach, and Seth and her students. And she had just gotten to a good place with Sam and Emily. If she moved out just to shack up with the Cullens, she would be effectively cutting ties and she couldn’t fathom how much that would hurt Sue. And herself in many ways.

It would feel like picking sides. She would have to make a clean break.

“I wish I wanted to,” she sulked.

Edward laughed and kissed her forehead.

“I think, eventually, we need to start looking for our own place, yeah?” Leah conceded. “Even if it’s some shitty garden apartment in Port Angeles. I haven’t heard back from that startup in Seattle.”

“A place in Port Angeles is a castle compared to some of the spots I’ve found myself in over the years,” Edward replied. Leah wetly chuckled against his neck. “And whatever you decide to do, whatever job you decide to take, we will figure it out.”

“You’re too fucking nice,” Leah complained, punching his shoulder.

“Just don’t be mad at me,” Edward conspiratorially whispered.

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at my dumb ass.”

“I happen to like your ass and think it’s not the least bit dumb,” he said as he moved to grasp it. Leah scoffed and pushed away from him, shaking her head with a smirk. Edward cheekily grabbed her by the waist and this time she didn’t veer away. Leah exhaled sharply as he kissed a deliberate line down her bare stomach to the band of her jeans.

“What am I going to do without you here?” he roughly murmured, pleading almost as miserably as Leah had been a few moments ago. “I can’t stand the thought of you being gone.”

Leah recalled what Edward had asked of her in the cottage, that she be his, totally and completely in the moment. The residual jealousy and intense passion swirling within her demanded she ask the same of him.

“Then I better give you something to remember me by,”

Leah pulled him up and kissed him distractingly, hugging him around the waist as she backed him against the closed door of his bedroom. Edward made contact with a slight thud and then caught Leah’s eye in suspicion.

“What are you..,” he started.

Leah pulled his sweater to the side to reveal his collarbone and sank her face onto him. She bit down, hard.

“Ahh,” Edward moaned and then covered his mouth with his arm to muffle the sound. But Leah heard him panting above her.

Her teeth pierced his skin more readily than she anticipated, a likely result of phasing. Venom trickled onto her tongue and numbed the roof of her mouth. She felt Edward grow hard against her stomach and smiled wickedly at the effect she was having on him.

Leah released him and leaned back to inspect her work. A silvery, crescent shaped scar immediately formed over his broken, diamond skin. It was so faint, only searching and inquisitive supernatural eyes would take note.

Which was exactly her plan.

“Fuck,” Edward exhaled as he rubbed his hand over his mouth and his head banged back against the door. The lustful haze left Leah and she covered her own mouth in shock at her boldness. “Fuck.

“I don’t…I didn’t.... Shit,” she apologized in horror. “Shit, Edward, I’m sorry.”

The imprint bond rippled, but not in rage or shame.

It was triumph.

Edward gazed back with hooded eyes, still slumped against the door. He lifted his arm and ran his thumb over the almost invisible bite scar on Leah’s neck.

“Don’t be,” he urged in a breathy laugh. “Now we match.”

Leah nodded in a daze, still not entirely sure what had come over her. Not entirely comprehending that she had claimed him.

Edward gave her a sly grin before Leah found herself pinned to the door with her pants undone. She twisted a leg around the back of his as Edward’s hand crept down between them, and he fucked her with his fingers. He swallowed her moans with his insistent lips upon hers and Leah didn’t want the moment to end. Edward sped up his pace in the interest of time and Leah’s head fell forward onto his shoulder as she came.

Only then did she remember exactly who was waiting downstairs.

“Uh, any chance your parents didn’t hear all of that?”

“No,” Edward exhaled and laughed again. “But who cares.”




****



“…and that’s who we were visiting, our daughter Rosalie and her mate Emmett. Who we consider a son, of course. They’re currently staying on Vancouver Island, so it was a quick visit.” Leah heard Esme prattle an explanation of their weekend visit to Sue who was entertained by her animated retelling of the animal and plant life. Leah caught sight of Carlisle who nodded, somewhat abashed, and interrupted Esme.

“It looks like you’re all set, Leah,” he acknowledged in a deferential tone. It seemed almost apologetic, which confused her.

“Yes, we should probably leave you to it, we’ve taken up a lot of your time.” She smiled warmly at Esme and Carlisle, not the least for ignoring her and Edward’s completely inappropriate encounter upstairs and for occupying Sue in the meantime.

“Nonsense, we truly enjoy having others to the house. Makes me feel useful,” Esme chided, the slightest bit of melancholy tinging her words.

There it is again.

She reached to the counter behind her and passed Leah a box of colorfully wrapped chocolate bars. The label read Denman Island Chocolate and was wrapped with a bright green ribbon.

“Edward mentioned you like chili powder in your candy. From the way the humans around us were enjoying it, I figured you might appreciate it,” she explained excitedly, if not somewhat nervously.

“It looks amazing. Totally and completely unnecessary, but thank you. I do love it,” Leah shyly replied. Esme’s sweet gesture almost wiped the memory of being furious with her mother.

It was exactly the kind of gift Leah appreciated. No fuss, no expense, just a memento of someone remembering her.

Esme beamed. Leah’s heart broke a little and she didn’t exactly understand why.

“I tell you one small detail and you steal my thunder,” Edward accused Esme playfully. He kissed Leah on the cheek as he swept into the kitchen and Sue observed everything with a keen eye.

She finally stood and repeated Leah’s statement that they leave.

“Esme and Carlisle, thank you so much. It’s been…enlightening,” Sue offered diplomatically. Whatever her feelings on Edward, Leah could tell she was enraptured with the two of them.

Carlisle graciously bowed his head and Esme clutched his arm as they walked Sue out. Leah purposefully trailed behind them, and Edward enveloped her in a hug from behind.

“Well, that went better than it could have,” Edward proposed.

“Sure,” Leah replied sarcastically. “A car wreck instead of a plane crash. I guess I’ll take it.”

Edward twirled her around. “Your mother is right; you are quite dramatic.”

“Just for that, I’m taking this,” she threatened, tugging at the hem of his sweatshirt, which she had pulled on again before coming downstairs.

“Please do,” Edward whispered suggestively. “And think of me every time you wear it.”

Leah kissed him deeply. “I don’t need a sweatshirt for that.”

Sue cleared her throat. “Leah, let’s give the Cullens back their house.”

Leah rolled her eyes and followed Sue out the house, glancing fleetingly back at Edward who mouthed ‘I love you’, as she walked through the door. Her heart leapt a thousand feet into the air.

But her imprint bond twinged once painfully and then quieted.

Leah and Sue did not speak until the highway, when Sue impatiently broke the silence.

“I know you’re angry…,” Sue began.

“Angry doesn’t cover it, mom. Just, what the hell? You humiliated me!” Leah shouted.

“How,” Sue demanded. “Edward was more than happy to speak with me.”

“Yeah, after you basically attacked him.”

“I was worried, hon, okay?” Sue shot back and Leah softened a little. “I told you I needed to get used to the idea, and then you just disappear with nothing but a measly note, and the thought that you’re moving away from me in so many ways…I…,” Sue’s voice broke.

“Mom.” Leah’s righteous indignation sublimated into the air. “Mom, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“You know, you can prepare for every moment in your life, except for the moment that your child chooses to leave you. It is one of the hardest things, Lee, knowing you’re no longer just my baby.” Sue let out a small sob and Leah closed her eyes in guilt and massaged her forehead. Flashes of the days after her father’s death replayed in her mind.

“I’m not dying mom; I just found my person. I will always be there for you.”

“I know Lee, I know it’s not fair for me to ask you to stick around forever. I know you have to move on. But like this? As your mother, I get to be a little sad about the way this all happened, I do.” Sue wiped her eyes and refocused on the road.

Leah did not know of anything she could say that could possibly comfort Sue in this moment, so remained silent.

Sue gathered herself eventually and took a deep breath. She nodded towards the glove compartment.

“Your phone is in there. I would check your voicemails or email; you had a few missed calls from Seattle on Friday."

"What? Why didn’t you lead with that?” Leah gasped. She abruptly crashed open the compartment as Sue protested, grabbed her phone, and scrolled through her email.

Dear Ms. Clearwater,

Thank you for your interest in the programmer analyst position at Microtech Inc., We would like to schedule a virtual interview for the coming week…





Edward



The door closed behind Leah and Sue and Edward felt his heart crack down the middle. It would mend itself again, the moment Leah was back in his arms, but for now, he would allow the pain to flood his senses. The more he accustomed himself to it, the more he would be able to function and operate normally within their relationship.

It was the one thing she had asked of him.

He was stewing in his own misery when Carlisle grasped his shoulder in commiseration.

“Are you alright, my boy?” Carlisle asked kindly. The pain was written all over Edward’s face, he was certain.

“I just need a few minutes,” Edward assured him as he scrubbed his face, to refresh his thoughts. “It never gets easier when she leaves, especially now that she’s agreed to certain things, but maybe…a little more manageable.”

“You’re a stronger man than I,” Carlisle conceded.

“That’s not possible, Carlisle,” Edward laughed humorlessly. “She has asked for so little. I can exist without her for a few days at a time. Even if it kills me.”

“You do see the irony of that statement, don’t you?” Carlisle pointed out. Edward merely shrugged.

Leah’s beautiful face covered by her hair in the morning, the birthmark underneath her right breast, her weird humor and sarcasm that never failed to amuse him. The way she had so willingly opened herself the last few days, the worried expressions she made constantly, the feel of her body underneath his…

Leah angry and frowning. Leah dancing, Leah smiling, Leah making love to him.

“Dammit,” he growled. Their time together flashed through the perfect recall of his mind. It took every ounce of effort in his body to not go chasing after Sue’s car like some wild beast.

“Well, given your neck, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume she feels the same way,” Carlisle commented archly. “If that is any consolation.”

“Sure…but that had more to do with Tanya.”

Esme rolled her eyes as she nudged Carlisle while speeding past him to the living room.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever met a man so clueless. Really, Carlisle, bringing up Tanya in front of Edward’s mate so casually,” she sniffed, picking up a book and opening it to a dog eared page.

It was a habit of hers that had carried over from her human days.

“That was my fault. I clearly wasn’t thinking,” Carlisle admitted sheepishly.

Edward waved him off, seating himself in an armchair across from Esme. He could smell Leah everywhere, the scent imprinted even on the pages of the book Esme held open.

“It was bound to happen. And she’s not being unreasonable, I would’ve been homicidal if our situations were switched.”

“But…,” Carlisle pushed him to continue.

“But,” Edward took an unnecessary cleaning breath. He found himself engaging in these human rituals so much more often since meeting Leah again. “Too much possessiveness and jealousy serve no one. And she truly has nothing to worry about. Time will convince her.”

Esme glanced up, giving him a knowing smile. “I’m happy for you, my dear. I can tell she loves you very much. Almost, I think, as much as you love her.”

Carlisle harrumphed and playfully stole away Esme’s book as she protested.

“You will find, Edward, that Esme speaks from experience. She is much too good for me and never lets me forget that I would be lost without her.” Esme smirked conspiratorially and swatted Carlisle on his behind. He handed the book back.

Edward rolled his eyes at them both before soliciting their opinion on their unexpected guest.

“I made a good impression, right? With Sue?” he asked as casually as he could manage. He was not used to seeking the approval of others, let alone humans. But this…was different.

Leah wincing from soreness. Leah biting her lip as he drank from her. Leah’s eyes glowing when she agreed to marry him. Leah’s nose crinkling as she laughed. The mixture of love and frustration on her face when arguing with Sue. The way she sighed in contentment when he washed her hair.

“Of course,” Carlisle reassured him warmly. “Sue’s hesitance would be commonplace even if you weren’t a vampire, Edward. You do realize it’s her child, one she clings to very lovingly, I might add.”

“Right,” Edward conceded. “But she seemed so reluctant. And so angry with Leah…,”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” Esme snorted from the couch, waving her hand dismissively. “Mothers and daughters, a tradition of petty offenses and bruised egos as old as time, all made deeper by the fact they are constantly seeking the love and approval of the other. It was certainly true for me.” Edward furrowed his eyebrows and even Carlisle cocked his head a little in question. Neither of them had heard Esme speak of her mother in quite some time, and so cavalierly. “Now my mother, she would have given Sue a run for her money, let me tell you. As salty as they come.”

Carlisle simply drew closer to Esme and kissed her temple. Edward wasn’t quite sure what to say. Most of what he knew of Esme’s mother was that she had convinced Esme to return to her worthless excuse of a human husband to tragic effect.

 “Speaking of…did you notice Carlisle, how similarly they looked? Leah’s face is an altered twin to Sue’s. Like a painting with the same strokes but with different brushes. It was beautiful to see,” Esme commented in a distant voice, her thoughts far from her husband and Edward. “We may know the science behind it all, but it’s still a wonder to see how children will turn out. How my…”

Carlisle nodded, clearly knowing in what direction this was headed.

Esme’s sorrowful, ingenue face twisted in agony for one brief moment before she sped away from the couch.

“I’ll be down later, just have some things to get done upstairs before we hunt tonight,” she called behind her.

But Edward and Carlisle both knew where they would find her at the end of the evening,

“Let’s give her a little space. She said she wanted to start talk therapy again, virtually of course. She hasn’t been in quite some time.”

Edward nodded, his empathy for Esme expanding in his chest. No one deserved happiness more than his adoptive mother.

Except Leah.

“I believe even having someone human adjacent in the house is unearthing some very deeply repressed feelings. Something like the sharing of food, or the disagreements between a mother and daughter. Esme yearns for that normalcy, more than you or I ever could.”

“She loves you,” Edward pointedly emphasized. “She does not resent you at all for making her a vampire. She is grateful, in fact.”

Carlisle shrugged. “All of it can exist and be true. She can be quite grateful to be a vampire. And quite nostalgic for her days as a human. And despondent over the way everything ended.”

Edward nodded in agreement. It was entirely fair to say the box of his human mother’s possessions held that space for him.

“We are all complicated souls, Edward. Six hundred years have passed, and I still remember the taste of the grainy beer in the alehouse down the way from my father’s church and his voice as he read Bible verses in front of the fire, to lull me to sleep. He was a hard man, no mistake about it, but the love was there. And unlike memories, it is the one thing that never fades. It in turn waters the memories, sustaining them.”

“Such a poet. You are much too accommodating of humans and their fickle emotions,” Edward teased, echoing an old argument, knowing he was likely just as soft hearted as Carlisle at this point.

Carlisle smiled but then abruptly frowned as if remembering something unpleasant.

“Now that you bring it up, human or not, we should further investigate the video footage from Weber’s if you have a minute. There is something disconcerting about that light, that I can’t quite place.”

Leah’s eye frozen in terror at the broken glass on the pavement.

“Are we in danger? Is Leah in danger?” Edward asked urgently.

“The faster we review the footage, the more readily I can answer that question, son.”

Edward nodded curtly, following Carlisle into his office.  

Notes:

Buffalo Bill is the antagonist in the film Silence of the Lambs. Sam Cooke is the artist behind one of the greatest soul songs of all time, “Bring It On Home to Me.” The other bands and artists mentioned, look ‘em up if you don’t know. Long, long, long chapter and some Edward perspective! But I’ve sown some seeds that will hopefully pay off later. Please comment/favorite/bookmark, etc.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Notes:

Own nothing but my own original plotlines and dialogue. What’s that? A dance off with Esme? Edward feeling some heat? And the Tanya of it all. Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text




All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces
Fight, flight, or the screams, life tearing at the seams

Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare

If it falls apart I will surely wake it
Bright lights turn me green, this is worse than it seems

Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare

- Punching in a Dream by The Naked and the Famous


 

 

Leah caught some of the mashed sweet potato dripping from Grace’s gummy little mouth with a soft silicone spoon as she babbled incoherently. She gave up as Grace reached out her pudgy fists to Emily.

Friday nights have definitely taken a turn.

Emily cooed back at the baby who was now making an impressive effort to ditch her highchair and go flying towards the floor. 

“No, no, Aunty Leah has some more sweet potato for you.” Emily plopped her back in and Grace began to whine, a buzzing hum that evolved into a full-throated wail as she kicked her legs. The doppler effect hit Leah full on and she was reminded of an ambulance siren.

“Em, I think she’s done, don’t you?” Leah asked uneasily, edging the spoon away and placing it in the ceramic baby bowl stamped with an image of a cartoon whale spouting water from it’s blowhole.

Leah wasn’t terrible with babies or kids, but her general discomfort was heightened by the fact that she hadn’t properly spent time with Edward in four days due to both of their schedules. And that tomorrow a certain visitor would be arriving in Forks and she had no idea how to feel about it.

Fucking Tanya.

Correction, she knew exactly how she felt about it. And as cute a distraction as Grace’s round cheeks and baby burbling were, Leah’s restless mind made her antsy. She popped her knee up and down a few times as she turned away to grab a washcloth to wipe Grace’s chin.

“Yeah, sometimes there is victory in surrendering,” Emily sighed.  She unlatched the table and pulled a happily crooning Grace out, finally free from her confinement. Emily took the washcloth and along with Grace’s bib, discarded it to the side. “A for effort though, Lee. More of it went in than out. Thanks for feeding her.” Emily bounced Grace on her knee.

Leah relaxed a fraction. She smirked and chucked Grace under her chin.

“She is disgustingly cute. I can’t believe you get to see that face everyday.” Leah crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue and Grace rewarded her with a gurgled laugh.

“Believe me, that face is the face of a demon stealing your life force when you’re cluster feeding at 3 AM in the morning. Isn’t it?” she directed towards Grace sweetly.

Grace exclaimed in glee which in turn reduced Leah and Emily to belly laughs.

The Uley household was lit from within against the falling dusk outside, cocooning the three of them in a warm yellow haze. Leah had dropped by after her last class at the high school, in an attempt to fill the void that her students were leaving. The next month was a reading period, followed by finals which meant other than some proctoring and breaking down her classroom, Leah was done teaching on the rez. Tying up loose ends at the end of the year didn’t necessarily make her sentimental, but this time was different.

Five grueling interviews over Zoom on Tuesday and Wednesday with various levels of management and the founders, and a follow up with Human Resources: That’s all it took and Leah had anxiously awaited the verdict from Microtech. Edward had offered her words of reassurance, and texted constantly, but also abided her unspoken request that he keep his distance for a few days.

Interviewing in the blocks of time between her classes was anxiety inducing enough, without the feeling that she would somehow let Edward and herself down if she didn’t pour all her energy into this. 

He only supports you. You could never let him down, her inner voice chided.

Leah still needed to focus.

 And it had certainly paid off.

 The offer letter had arrived through e-mail last night. With it rode her future in Seattle and, she was hoping, the next step in her life with Edward.

Life with Edward.

The thought sent a thrill of excitement and anticipation through her. Almost enough to dispel the sadness she felt when one of her senior La Push students hugged her in goodbye. She was headed to Seattle University in the fall and could tell by the look on Leah’s face that she needed it. Leah embraced the pity hug for all it was worth.  

The warring desire to move on along with the utter loss she felt, also contributed to the weirdness of Leah’s mental state.

“You okay?” Emily asked in concern. Leah realized she had been staring straight past her as she spoke, into the dark depths of the kitchen.

She shook her head. “Yeah, sorry. I just can’t believe I just taught my last class at La Push,” she replied absently.

“What?” Emily’s eyes widened. “You got a job, didn’t you? The one in Seattle?” Leah had mentioned it in passing when they texted last week to plan a catch-up session. 

Leah shyly nodded. “Handing in my resignation next week. Feel so odd about it.”

“Well, teaching was never the long-term plan, right?” Emily urged eagerly. “Damn, I’m so proud of you. Good for you.” Grace, caught up in the excitement, glanced curiously between them.

Leah grinned despite herself. “Thanks, it’s definitely what I wanted. But so many things have happened, so fast.” She shrugged. “I have no idea where my mind is at right now.” She fluttered her hands around her face and looked down. Rubbing the back of her neck, she dwelled on the fact that Emily was the first soul she had even mentioned the job offer too.

“Explain,” Emily asked shrewdly, sensing Leah’s discomfort.

Leah opened her mouth, but before she uttered a word, the front door crashed open and Sam strode into the house. The jovial expression on his face exploded into a wide toothy, grin when he caught sight of Grace.

“Who wants to hear a bedtime story from Dada?” he cooed obnoxiously. He swept her up in his arms and tossed her lightly in the air before catching her.

‘Careful,” Emily warned but smiled, flushed with happiness now that Sam was home. There was no doubt she had dove headfirst into the life he had offered her. “Meeting went late, huh?”


As a member of the Tribal Council, Sam oversaw several different projects on the rez, including an infrastructure improvement that would increase efficiency in the power grid. Leah begrudgingly thought it was one of the best things he’d ever been a part of, even if most of it was learning of its progress from the specialists and voting to approve funds. She’d never thought of Sam as a paper pusher, but it was the only way anything got done around here, and it wasn’t like shifting and leading pack patrols exactly paid the bills.

Between that and Emily’s work as a scribe and administrator at the tribal court, the both of them were moving into their own next phase with Grace.

It gave Leah a renewed sense that maybe she was doing the right thing.

Right, this is good. Right?

“Ugh, I thought I would never get out of there. Nothing that couldn’t have waited until Monday.” He bounced Grace gently again in his generously muscled arms, getting her to burp, and greeted Leah.

“What are you doing here? Needed a break from your love nest?” he teased.

Emily slapped his waist and Leah rolled her eyes.

“No, Leah here just told me she got a job offer. A programming one, in Seattle,” she explained carefully. Leah buzzed with self-awareness.

“Oh!” Sam exclaimed in surprise. “Oh, wow. I mean that’s great…but damn.” He smiled ruefully. “Feels like you just got here, Lee. And now we’re losing you again.”

The ‘again’ stung Leah. She didn’t exactly feel like she had a choice the first time.

But she shook it off. She had to admit she was oddly touched he felt some way about her potentially leaving.

She sank her face in her hands.

“I know,” she whined in a muffled voice. “My mom is going to flip even though she saw it coming, and who’s going to take on my coding students who haven’t graduated? I feel like I’m turning my back on everyone here. And after Jared’s mom said all those nice things at the last Council meeting.” She took a deep breath and rubbed her hands over her face, attempting to not have a second breakdown in this house.

Since when did Sam and Emily become my unofficial therapists?

“Hey,” Sam interrupted in a hushed tone. He flicked her on the shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. You’ve done a lot of good, here. A lot,” he emphasized as she looked up. “No one is expecting you to sacrifice everything, I promise. You get to live your life and then come home again. That’s the way it works.” He shrugged. “And I’m assuming it will make life easier to actually be able to live with the man you imprinted on?”

Leah gave a humorless laugh.

“You have no idea.”

“Sam’s right,” Emily chimed in. “We’ll be here whenever you visit. You’ll always have us…and the rez…and your mom will be fine. Seth is still going to school, right?”

“Yeah, Seth is never leaving. That boy has a severe case of failing to launch.” Both Sam and Emily chuckled.

“What did Edward say?” Sam asked absently, cradling Grace and making faces at her.

“Uh, well, that’s the thing,” Leah admitted sheepishly. “I haven’t actually…told him.”

“Oh.” Both Sam and Emily straightened up, a little nonplussed.

And why exactly haven’t you told him? Oh, that’s right, you have no idea how to navigate this situation, that’s why.

 “Do you not want him to join you?” Sam guessed carefully. Leah prickled at his question and her imprint bond tsked. She scowled in annoyance.

“That’s a really dumb question from someone who has imprinted.”

Sam walked back in surrender. He held Grace close as if to shield himself from the irritated expressions Emily and Leah were both wearing. The baby clapped her hands obliviously. “Yeah, I heard it the second it came out of my mouth. I’m going to put Grace to bed so I can avoid this conversation,” he suggested as he escaped into the hallway.

“I think that’s best,” Emily agreed as she rolled her eyes, flipping her curly hair over her shoulder and pushing up the sleeves to her sweater.

“Okay,” she folded her hands and stared expectantly at Leah. “So, tell me what’s the problem.”

Leah smiled in amusement. “You would make a killing as a shrink.”

“I spend most of my time with an almost toddler and the biggest man I’ve ever known to be afraid of spiders. Give me something else to talk about, please,” Emily begged of Leah.

 Leah shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, I just…ugh.” She shook her head. “I felt as if I would be disappointing him if I didn’t get the job. Now that I have it, it feels like it’s a drop in the bucket compared to other things he could possibly be disappointed with.”

Emily looked ready to leap in with reassurances, but Leah held her off.

“He would never say it or do anything to hurt my feelings intentionally. But like, his family is here. They adore him. Hell, they adore me. I could’ve made him so happy just by moving into the house, which I was never going to do,” Leah pointed out. “I can’t get rid of the itch that I’m somehow forcing his hand. And I can’t stand to be away from him, I have pushed for this for a while. But does he realize he’s getting all of me when we live together? Like all of me?

“What, like the ‘you’ that belches after having a beer and uses a bathroom and occasionally spits when she speaks?” Emily scolded her. “Spirit forbid you have human moments, Leah. I doubt he’s going to break up with you because you have spinach stuck in your teeth after eating a salad.”

“No, he’d be such a fucking gentlemen about it actually,” Leah pondered. “He might volunteer to take it out himself.”

Emily chuckled. “Then?”

“I can harp on stupid things sometimes and he can be unreasonable in his own way and we’re going to argue and disagree, I can deal with that. But I just want him to want me all the time like I want him, which might not be the case if we live together,” Leah admitted childishly. “And not in the protective way he always is. The way he’s constantly attuned to my well being is so sweet and wonderful, and he wants me and he loves me. But it’s like…are there scenes of our life together running through his head like they do through mine? Does he daydream about us building furniture together in our house? And then throwing down the tools and just going at it on the floor?”

Wow, Leah. TMI.

“Whoa, that’s…specific,” Emily drawled out. “But if I had to guess at the mind of most any guy – and most women - I would say yes.”

“I don’t want a champion or bodyguard. I want him to be eager about not just being there for me, and doing things for me, but being with me. Enjoying me, using me a little selfishly now and then, like I’ve sometimes done with him.” Leah flushed darkly. “And I asked him to give me a little space this week and he was so understanding, but…”

“But you want him to go mad with the thought he can’t be near you…and not just to protect and serve,” Emily finished smugly.

“It’s so immature, I know,” Leah moaned. “I specifically asked him for a healthy, grown-up relationship and now I resent the fact he’s controlling his impulses and respecting my boundaries. He doesn’t want to be a possessive asshole…but if it’s just between us, and not some show of toxic masculinity, I don’t think I’d mind that so much. There was this one time where…well let’s just say I got a peek at what he can be like and I almost lost my mind over it.”

Their matching neck tattoos aside, Leah shuddered at the memory of him saying she was his. Of when he admitted to wanting her too much in his agonized confession.

More of that. Damn, I’m sick.

“It sounds like he’s very honorable and respectful of your needs,” Emily sagely advised. “And it sounds like he reins it in, so he doesn’t send you running.”

“Of course, and I am so appreciative. But that’s our foundation, we’re good there. In all the ways that matter, we know where we stand.” Leah exhaled. “But for the in between type things, I need him to know he can cross the line every now and then. To show how much he truly wants me.”

“It’s a bitch, isn’t it,” Emily complained teasingly, giving Leah a tiny smile. “When our men can’t just read our minds and give us exactly what we want.”

Leah slapped her hand to her face. “And what’s hilarious is he actually could read my mind, but I asked him…

“Not to, and to respect your limits,” Emily guessed.

Leah slumped down in her chair and smiled. “It would be funny if I wasn’t such a conflicted mess. I never cared this much before.”

Emily waved her off. “If you think you’re the only one, please. I’ve been on both sides of that issue, multiple times and over again. Once you think you’ve got it figured out, it flips and then you’re picking a fight when all he wanted was to open your car door.”

“Yeah, it’s nice but I don’t need that all the time.”

Emily held up a finger and plucked up the baby monitor near her. She clicked a button and Leah could suddenly hear Sam whispering softly to a dozing Grace.

Okay, maybe I do want that all the time, too.

Emily clicked it off with a satisfied smile and gazed pointedly at Leah.

“You want what you want, and what you want is Edward to not just need you, but want you. Don’t apologize for that.” She set her hands on the table in front of her. “But the person you should be telling is Edward. Start with your job news, there is no world where he isn’t happy about that.”

Leah nodded. “I was all excited to call him last night. Then I remembered his ex would be arriving tomorrow to visit the family and it just completely killed my mood…”

“Wait, what?” Emily’s eyes bugged out of her head. “He’s friends with an ex. A vampire ex?”

“Yeah,” Leah supplied boredly. “She’s another animal eating vampire, just like the Cullens. Apparently, she’s mated so it’s not a big deal. And he never had feelings for her, but I can’t shake it. And the fact I can’t shake it makes me feel all gross and possessive in the way I want Edward to sometimes be. And not be.”

You’re impossible.

“Well, that settles it,” Emily replied confidently. “You go over to the house tomorrow when…what’s her name?”

“Tanya,” Leah inserted pitifully.

“When Tanya is there and tell Edward your news. Let her see how stupid happy he is with you. Make her real to you, and you’ll shake it after you realize she’ll probably be normal about the whole thing. And that Edward will want to celebrate doing whatever you want.

Leah cocked her head and considered it. Carlisle had said their impractical glass mansion was also hers now. She felt it might be a good time to test that theory.

 “I could drop by,” Leah repeated thoughtfully. “Show her how much everyone wants me there instead of slinking away, tell Edward about Seattle and…”

“And start planning what furniture you’re going to wreck in your new home,” Emily added coyly.

Who knew girl talk with my cousin would be this…vivid.

Leah mirrored her smile.

“You’re kinda scary when you’re like this,” Leah joked, kicking lightly at Emily’s shin. She hadn’t seen this playfully scheming side of Emily since they were teens. She couldn’t believe she had ever let a man get between them.

This was certainly more than making up for it.

“This is really fun for me,” Emily spouted excitedly. She peered behind her to make sure no one else was listening. “Speaking of breaking furniture, I take it Edward is…you know…a good handyman?” she finished furtively. The shining curiosity in her eyes at supposed wolf-vamp encounters spurred Leah on to answer.

Screw it, she thought. Leah would happily be the ambassador to enlighten others that Edward was the one to beat in bed.

“I mean…holy shit!” Leah freely admitted in a loud whisper, surprising herself at how much she was unable to contain her own enthusiasm. She bit down on her fist. “The sex is beyond…I mean beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never finished so hard in my life.” She fell back into her seat, a little out of breath with her explanation. Emily frantically gestured for her to continue. “His um, saliva also does this thing where…”

“Please do not finish that sentence, I beg of you,” Sam interrupted in desperation, entering the nook. It became apparent he had heard everything that passed between them after finally putting down the baby. “How am I ever going to look Cullen in the face if I know what his saliva does?”

Emily squealed with laughter as she clapped her hand over her mouth, while Leah threw the baby washcloth at Sam’s hulking and embarrassed form. He expertly dodged it and shook his head.

“I immediately regret any part I had in this,” he mourned in exaggeration.  

“Well, too bad. It’s done,” Leah replied smugly.

“Yeah, too bad.” Emily winked back at her and smiled. “Going to have to get used to some things around here, Sam.”

“But this is my house,” Sam pouted, and Leah and Emily heaped on another pile of jeering laughter, united once again.


 

Early the next morning, Leah let her thick hair fall naturally around her face, foregoing her typical twist or ponytail. She accessorized with oversized hoop earrings with dangling half moons in the center and a delicate chain with a miniscule sparkling pendant. Her smart watch was ever present on her wrist and she checked that her wide leg black pants and fitted slate blue puff sleeve sweater laid smooth against her body.

She looked slightly older and more conservative than her years and that was the point. She needed to muster all the confidence she could to make it through the day.

She checked her phone again, rereading Edward’s text.

E: Lee, Garrett and Tanya wanted to hunt before coming to the house and asked us to join. Esme is staying back for some reason. But if I get that over with, I’ll be fresh off a feed and can slip away without anyone giving me hell for it. I don’t want you to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, so it’s okay if you don’t want to come to the house. But, just know, after this week, I hope you’re relaxing. Please don’t be anxious about the job, I have the upmost confidence in your abilities. If not this, then the next. If not the next, then ten years from now. You are the prize, you are the goal, and if they can’t see that, then they obviously do not possess any kind of wit or intelligence to speak of. Just know time means nothing to me unless it’s spent by your side. I miss you so much. I love you so much. I’ll see you soon <3.

She had breathed deeply and sent back her reply upon leaving Sam and Emily’s the night before, her plan in place.

L: Please go! You don’t need my permission and you need to hunt. Don’t worry about me. I am definitely doing better after this week, thanks in part to the messages you sent. I wore down my phone battery just reading them before each and every interview.

L: I love you. And I really, really went a little crazy not seeing you this week. But I’ll see you soon and that’s all that matters.

He had sent back several ‘I love yous’ and promises to speed back to Forks the moment he was done, but Leah ignored that. She needed to cage her mind, to prepare herself mentally that she might not measure up to Tanya in every way that her irrational fears had confirmed.  

And that was okay. Because she was the only one Edward loved.

And soon they would move forward together, into a future Leah couldn’t have even dreamed of a few months ago.

She said bye to Sue, waving her phone in exaggeration to show how she could be reached, and drove her car out of La Push. The time passed in a blur before she found herself parked in the Cullen’s driveway, with no actual memory of traveling there.

“Here goes nothing,” she stated under her breath and proceeded to make her way up and knock determinedly on the door. She knew exactly who would answer and her nerves retreated at the thought.

“Leah!” Esme’s dark brown curls shook at her excitement, if not surprise, that Leah was on her doorstep.

She folded Leah into a gentle hug and dragged her inside, kicking the door closed behind her. Leah barely had the chance to toe off her boots before Esme looped their arms. She walked her towards the kitchen, the unofficial center of their entertaining space given the amount of time Leah had already spent there.

“Hi Esme,” Leah laughed nervously, but with a touch of affection at Esme’s warmth. “It’s almost like you were expecting me.”

Esme zoomed around the kitchen, not even bothering to flip open the various cabinets and drawers at a human pace. When she finally paused, she unloaded several objects she had collected onto the granite in front of her.

Leah identified a platinum cocktail shaker, various measuring cups and vials, and a platinum stirring wand along with limes and a portable soda machine with CO2 cartridge.

Esme raised her eyebrows at Leah and tapped her nose. “Of course, I was expecting you. Alice sent a little heads up through text. She’s not the best at isolating her visions when it comes to you, but something in her caught the image of you and I grabbing a drink. And I thought, well what the heck?” She planted her hand on her hip and gestured towards the ceiling. “It’s been ages since I’ve had one. Or even pretended at least.”

“Esme it’s not even noon,” Leah weakly protested, a little dazed even though she was amused at the thought of Edward’s adoptive mom playing mixologist. “And I didn’t mean to blow up your day, I just thought I’d hang out until Edward returned with…” With a hot strawberry blonde with a killer bod and centuries of experience. “With your guests,” she finished plaintively.

Esme smirked, two deep dimples flanking her curved mouth. “What do you think the drink is for, Leah?”

Ahh, so I’ve been super obvious that I’m a jealous shrew.

Leah sheepishly attempted to explain, painfully rambling that she felt the exact opposite of how she did. “I’m sorry about all that last weekend. I lost my cool and it was not a good look, and of course I’m fine with Edward spending time with Tanya, especially since she’s mated…”

“The first time I visited Carlisle in the hospital, after gaining control over my cravings, mind you, I pretended to drop off his lunch,” Esme abruptly interrupted as she busied herself with cutting limes and squeezing out the juice with her bare hands. “It was a little dated, I know, but it was 1932 and I had been brought up in a traditional way. I was excited to see my husband after not spending time with him all morning, not to mention just getting out of the house and being amongst others.”

Esme slowed her hands and plugged the bottle of water into the soda machine. It came to life with a whir, infusing the water with bubbles.

“Wouldn’t you know it, the prettiest little bird of a nurse met me at reception. She was young and so beautifully innocent, not a malicious bone in her body. She offered to lead me to his office and I followed, somewhat flustered, feeling out of sorts with my pale skin and barely contained control under the bright lights. I essentially crushed whatever I had used as a stand in for food in the paper bag. When Carlisle spotted us, scenting me before we reached his office, his eyes lit up at my arrival. But the only thing I could see was the immense kindness and affability with which he treated that nurse. It wasn’t her fault if she lightly flirted back, it was a different time and Carlisle got by in getting along with the staff. They allowed so many unusual occurrences to slide. She left us and I barely spoke to Carlisle, giving one-word responses to his questions before mentioning I just wanted to stop by and turning heel. The poor man had no idea what he’d done wrong.” Esme chuckled at the memory. “I’m not exaggerating when I say that I ripped off the handle to the double doors of the exit and tossed the twisted metal in full view of a few shocked orderlies. I’m sure they chalked it up to their imaginations, I could smell the morphine coursing through their blood.”

Leah laughed in earnest, the image and feeling so relatable. Not to mention, she was amazed at the ease and intimacy with which Esme was relaying all this to her.

So much bottled up. So much to say and so few to say it to.

The thought caught her by surprise.

“All this to say,” Esme continued sincerely, “that none of us are immune to the emotions that surround loving someone so completely and fully. It is so incomparably human, Leah. Do not apologize.”

“I feel like such a fool,” Leah groaned, covering her face. She was embarrassed at her own lack of impulse control, not to mention the fact that Esme felt the need to prop her up with her own story.

Not that she wasn’t grateful. It made her feel at least ten times more justified in her insecurity over Tanya.

“We are all fools in love,” Esme grandly declared. “Please do yourself the kindness of realizing that.” She turned towards the freezer and rapidly pulled out two frosty glass bottles.

“Now,” she stated, glancing between the two. “I am quite a hand with a Gin Rickey. Used to mix them myself for my girlfriends in Columbus during our knitting circles.” Leah stared back in shock. “But I always preferred the taste of vodka as a human, and wanted to give you the option.”

Leah pointed towards the vodka, her mouth still slightly agape.

 “Good choice.” Esme winked, filled the shaker with ice and proceeded to craft a perfect cocktail while Leah sat stunned.


***************



“I mean, how do you even remember how to do this?” Leah laughed, perfectly tipsy as she rounded the corner to join Esme who was mixing another batch of “Gin” Rickeys like a pro.

Esme had also set out a platter of three kinds of chips, red pepper hummus, and Leah’s favorite salsa from the Trader Joe’s two towns over.

This family, jeez. But it would be rude to refuse. I’m not complaining.  

“I like to call it my imperfect perfect recall,” Esme informed her archly. “I don’t remember everything from my human life, but the things I do are in sharp focus.” Her face clouded over briefly before it brightened again with another of Esme’s heart wrenching smiles.

“Round three?” she offered Leah, refreshing her glass before Leah could even answer.

“More like round four,” Leah sighed. “Remember that I’m drinking for the both of us.”

Esme clinked a glass against hers and pretended to drink.

“Cheers, regardless,” she smiled. “And don’t worry, I think I can find a way to take the edge off even further, while you process all the alcohol.”

“I do dry up pretty quickly,” Leah conceded. “Wolf metabolism.” But she slurred the end of her words.

Whoa, Esme makes a strong drink.

“Even better,” Esme exclaimed. She gave a voice prompt to a smart assistant on the kitchen counter and soon Leah heard Donna Summer start to groove over the speaker.

Leah began to move in spite of herself, singing along to the words. Esme closed her eyes and began to float around the kitchen , arms moving gracefully through the air as the ice in her drink beat against the glass to the rhythm.

“Wow, Esme.” Leah watched her, admiring the way she was cutting across the floor, abandoned to the music. “Edward told me you disco’ed, but damn, you’re good.”

Esme set down her glass and began to jerk her thumbs in the most fluid version of the hustle Leah had ever seen a person perform.

“Oh darling, it’s all in the hips.”

Being three drinks in, Leah thought it might be a good idea to set down her own glass and imitate the moves. She felt the beat overtake her, cast off the anxiety that had weighed her down the entire week, and danced with the woman who might one day be her…mother-in-law?

This is so weird. I’m gonna choose not to overthink it.

Leah ran her fingers through her hair and gasped with laughter as Esme twirled her around.

They turned to face each other and dance off while mirroring the other’s moves, occasionally throwing a challenge over to the other, which was heartily accepted. And they began to talk again, Leah unable to keep her excitement from spilling over in the moment.

“And I wanted to tell him,” Leah giddily started. “But I’ll tell you first. I got the job. In Seattle.”

Esme clasped her hands over her mouth, and then took hold of Leah’s hands. She swung them around in a slow circle, rotating breezily into the dining room.

“I am so happy for you, really. What an achievement,” she stated with genuine delight. “That’s what I like about you, Leah. You go for what you want. And you get it. You keep moving, no matter the obstacle.”

“I mean, in some ways more than others, I guess,” Leah hedged, still a little drunk. She smiled lazily at Esme and paused the circle swinging.

“I’m serious,” Esme followed up, stepping a little closer to Leah. “Never lose that part of yourself. Never let someone hold you back, not even Edward.”

“I won’t,” Leah promised her, blinking back in confusion.

Why does it seem like she’s talking about herself?

Esme peered down and Leah was certain that if she were human, Esme’s eyes would be wet with unshed tears.

“Never let…never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. That you’re not good enough. That all you’ll ever be is what you are right now, and that you should settle for something while you can still have it.” Esme’s eyes shone fiercely, and she gripped Leah’s arms more desperately. “I died when I was twenty-seven and, my god, can you believe that I ever thought I was past my prime? That I truly had nothing left to live for?” She sadly laughed, the sound like rasping sandpaper, and Leah felt the strongest urge to wrap her arms around this fragile woman. Even with her inexplicable vampire strength.

“That’s so young, Esme,” Leah choked out, unsure why she was now tearing up.

“It is,” Esme keened softly in her bell voice. “It was.” She then cleared her throat, swallowing back some venom, the painful twist of her features smoothing out. She unhanded Leah and turned away, wistful in her movements.

“I am so sorry,” she apologized in a throaty voice. “I sometimes get…overwhelmed by the reality of my past. How I would’ve done so many things differently.”

“No, it’s okay,” Leah reassured her, wiping her own cheeks.

We’re almost the same age.

The idea was jarring. This old soul was a twenty something who was carrying eternal emotional baggage. It made Leah angry at whoever had hurt her.  

“But no regrets, right?” Esme shook her head and proclaimed it in a clearer voice. “No regrets because I have the most wonderful family. One about to be made even more wonderful because of you.” She slipped her arms around Leah, hugging her. Leah hugged back, noticing the hold of Esme’s arms was so different than that of Edward’s. Somehow so much more delicate.

The whole thing called for more vulnerability than Leah could manage, and she shook the other woman lightly by the shoulders.

“I’m really glad you were my bartender today, Esme,” Leah gruffly whisper shouted in her ear, acting drunk, attempting to make her laugh.

Esme leaned away with a peal of laughter and put her hands on either side of Leah’s face.

“Anytime,” she beamed. “And don’t worry, my lips are sealed. Edward won’t hear anything about the job from me. For goodness sake, he doesn’t even know you’re here right now. Which is a bit of a miracle,” she stated matter of fact to herself.

“Yeah, it is so hard to get the jump on him,” Leah agreed in frustration. She spun away gently and picked up her glass, taking a sip. “I hope he thinks of this as a good surprise. I just couldn’t stand by waiting while whining that he had a past. I need to be better than that.”

“You’re very hard on yourself, you know,” Esme observed, placing the barware in the sink and the desiccated lime peels in the compost bin. “You and Edward have that very much in common.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Oh, I doubt anyone could compete with Edward in the “I deserve pain” club.”

Esme harrumphed. “Even so, both of you should go easier on yourselves. It makes the rest of us look bad,” she joked.

Leah blinked rapidly at Esme, watching her hum melodically to a slower song as she poured out her own drink into the sink.

“Thank you, Esme. You might be the realest, coolest chick I’ve ever met,” Leah blurted out.

Esme eyed her slyly. “I may not have the gifts, but I’ve got some wisdom still knocking around in here.” She tapped at her temple and smiled secretively. “I’m just so happy to know you, Leah.”

Leah raised her glass with a flourish, the tipsy flush in her cheeks still visible, and brightly toasted Esme back. “Cheers to knowing y-ahhhh!”

 Before Leah could even conceive of her drink flying out of her hand, she was swiftly lifted up onto the beautifully weathered dining room table with an embarrassing squeal. Esme easily caught the airborne glass and placed it down neatly on the island.

“Good lord Edward, let the poor girl breathe,” she scolded the man who had just gone full court press on Leah. Esme rolled her eyes and continued to straighten up the kitchen.

But Leah couldn’t say she minded.

She moaned heavily into the mouth firmly planted on hers.

Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Makeout session behind the hospital on Monday, be damned, it had been too many days.

Edward moaned back into her mouth and shoved his way between Leah’s legs, pushing his tongue insistently against hers. Leah pushed back, their noses knocking and their teeth clicking violently together as she licked the inside of his mouth and sucked on his tongue.

This is very, very dirty. You need to stop…in a minute. You need to stop in a minute.

“You’re here,” Edward managed to whisper in wonderment during the pauses where Leah pulled away for breath. “Mmmphh…you’re actually here.”

“I know what you mean,” Leah gasped out, her head falling against his chest as he hugged her tightly to him. His clothes smelled of the wilderness, a strong musk dulling the sweet alcohol edge. “Let’s not do that again. The being apart, I mean. Not the…well that,” she stated against Edward’s mouth as his lips mobilized another line of attack. He finally moved past her mouth and jaw to her neck, licking over her pulse on the exact same patch of skin he had drunk from.

He panted heavily over her, closing his eyes for a few seconds before pushing her loose hair behind her ears and gazing into her eyes. He took her hand, kissed it, and then placed her fingers right above his collar bone, where she had bitten him.

The desperation gave way to a wild, chaotic energy in his lightened eyes that recalled wet mouths and writhing bodies and hot, pumping blood. On her end at least.

Ahem, carnal lust. I think the sentiment you’re looking for is carnal lust.

Underneath it all, weren’t they both just animals? Edward had satisfied his bloodlust…and now was the time for something else.

Oh, he definitely wants something else! What was that you were saying yesterday…?

Leah felt his cock, hard underneath his jeans and palmed him discretely as Edward tore off his cargo jacket. He stared ravenously down at her, both of them on the brink of starting an unstoppable moment and Leah made the decision for them.

She immediately removed her hand, conscious of the approach of three other vampires. And that Esme was still in the kitchen.

“You’re staying?” Edward asked quickly, though it was less of a question than a statement. “You want to stay with me?”

Leah nodded slowly, her eyes wide.

“Then later,” Edward determined, a dark promise winding its way through his voice. He pushed his thumb into her mouth and she sucked it instinctively before pulling back. “I am going to make it so good for you…later.”

The man possessed then relaxed with a broad, relieved smile and Leah smirked back.

“I’m so damn happy to see you,” he gushed.

“You could say that again,” Leah laughed in disbelief at their frantic reunion, and he soon chuckled along with her. “Ugh, I love you so much it’s disgusting.”

“In that case I am way more disgusting.”

He transformed into the romantic, humorous doctor, kissing her forehead and lifting her up from the table. With his arm around her, he led her back into the kitchen.

“Do I taste…vodka?” Edward asked, puzzled as he smacked his tongue around his mouth. Leah snorted as Esme bit her lip to keep from laughing.

It was safe to say that the effects of the alcohol had not completely worn off yet.

Leah broke away from Edward and jabbed her finger into his chest.

“Esme makes a great drink. You guys couldn’t possibly appreciate how good she is at all the things she does.” She swayed a little and hiccupped, feeling her sobriety creep back at an alarming rate.

“I do appreciate it,” Edward innocently exclaimed, worry apparent in his eyes. “I do, right?”

It just made Leah and Esme dissolve further into giggles and that was how Carlisle and Edward’s ex-girlfriend found them.  

“So this is where the real party was, huh? Esme, you held out on us,” a gleaming voice accused, reminding Leah of a sunrise.

She swiftly turned towards the sound and her breath caught.

It’s even worse than you thought.

Light, brassy curls and a seductive, full lipped smile that personified sex. Mile long legs and ample cleavage along with a graceful, swan neck. High cheekbones, sharp under alabaster skin that inexplicably shone with a wintry glow. That was all Leah saw.

Tanya had arrived and she was a knockout.

Not a knockout. She’s a literal goddess. Fuck.

This was the woman Edward used to have sex with. Leah thought she would vomit.

But she instead pulled herself to her full height and exhaled an uncategorical “Whoa.” The whole room chuckled in confusion. Edward tightened his grip around her and brushed circles on her waist with his fingers.

Tanya flashed a set of pearly teeth, her smile a razor’s edge as she took in a loosened Leah, head to toe.

“I could say the same, lovely.” Tanya sauntered over to her, curiosity burning behind her eyes, the same exact shade as Edward’s. Leah noticed she carried an aroma of honeysuckle and forced herself not to sniff her. She faintly brushed a slender finger along Leah’s cheek, which made her shiver and flinch. Edward growled in warning.

“Where have you been hiding this one, Edward? She’s a gem.”

Edward flicked away Tanya’s hand in annoyance.

“Tanya is a little out of practice and finds herself much too familiar with those she barely knows,” Edward explained stiffly, Leah still frozen in his arms. “Anyway, Leah this is Tanya. Tanya this is Leah. Tanya, don’t touch Leah unless Leah gives you permission.”

“Hi,” Leah greeted weakly. She extended her hand and Tanya patiently eyed Edward, waiting for the go ahead.

Okay, enough. Time to break some ice.

“It’s okay, you can touch my hand.” Leah rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Edward might act possessive, but I’ve stolen half his clothes and he hasn’t tried to fight me yet.”

Esme and Carlisle erupted in laughter, and she could even feel Edward’s reluctant smile against her hair as he kissed the side of her head.

“I don’t need them back,” he grumbled.

“That’s good, because they’re all mine,” Leah replied archly.

Tanya watched the exchange with narrowed eyes, a slow, more genuine smile spreading over her face.

“Oh, you’re fun,” she stated, seemingly impressed. “I think I’m going to like you.”

“Glad to hear it,” Leah said with a content smile and winked at her, the last of the alcohol giving her courage to harmlessly flirt with a sex bomb vamp.

Whew.

They exchanged a few pleasantries and Edward relaxed considerably. Leah was inquiring about their hunting trip when a tall, rangy vampire with dirty blonde hair pulled up from his face, zipped through the door. He slowed his pace and ambled into the kitchen to join the rest of them.

What in the hipster hottie fuck?

He stalled, completely stunned at the threshold with a hand up in defense.

“Whoa, whoa, the scent coming out of here is sending off a threat level nine,” he stated, his body rigid and prepared for defense. But then he took in Leah standing tall and confused against Edward. He leered good naturedly, almost in caricature, as his eyes spanned her face and body.  

“But if you’re the one doing the fighting, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d mind at all,” he complimented lazily, shifting towards them with a Cheshire grin.

Edward erupted into a loud and animalistic growl, the sound vibrating out of his chest through Leah. The rangy vampire merely rolled his eyes.

“Easy killer, I’m not coming for your girl. Just introducing myself.”

He ducked away from Edward and shook Leah’s hand.

“Name’s Garrett, seems like you met Tanya.”

Smooth fucker.

Leah gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Charmed. The name’s Leah, though, not sweetheart.”

Garrett faked a blow to the heart, his hand grasping at the invisible wound in his chest before straightening and smiling genuinely at her. He even seemed a little contrite.

“Fair enough,” he grinned. “Tell me something, Leah.” Garret leaned in conspiratorially and whispered loudly to her, smelling like sandalwood and grain alcohol. “How the hell do you put up with his tight ass, day and night?”

Leah had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing but then couldn’t resist cracking a reluctant smile. Garrett clapped in glee, hugging both her and Edward.

“See, even she thinks so!” Garrett mocked harmlessly. He kissed Edward on the cheek. “Oh, I’m just kidding Eddie boy. Love you to pieces.”

“Ugh, get off of us Garrett,” Edward complained, living up to his tight ass moniker. Leah couldn’t help but laugh as Tanya pried Garrett away, his maniacal delight at getting a rise out of Edward abating a little. “You are even more juvenile than Emmett.”

“And you might have the worst case of mating-itis I’ve ever seen,” Garrett shot back comfortably, leaning against Tanya as she wrapped an arm around his waist. He directed his disbelief at Leah and pointed at Edward. “We’re all just leisurely making our way back from a pleasant hunt, calm as can be, and this guy sniffs the air and shoots off like a ricocheting bullet. You would think he had a mountain lion dinner with all the trimmings awaiting him at the end of that smell rainbow. But turns out it was your scent he caught.” Garrett sniffed the air, nodding his head in general agreement and understanding. “And fair enough, you’ve got enough human on you to sweeten that bouquet. And oohhh, jasmine,” Garrett added in interest.

Tanya punched his shoulder in playful warning as Edward tightened his arm again around Leah. She shook her head.  

“DO. NOT. SMELL. HER,” Edward gritted through his teeth, a slick predatory threat in his tone.

Okay, jeez, enough. This is what I don’t like.

“Alright, alright,” Garrett caught Leah’s eye, gesturing towards Edward defensively. “See what I mean? Tight ass.”

Leah smiled back easily, reaching up to cup Edward’s cheek. He turned his head to kiss her palm and nuzzled her hair.

 “Aww he’s not so bad. Just gets filled with an uncontrollable rage at the sight of a messy man bun,” Leah stated seriously, while Tanya guffawed and Garrett frowned, gingerly touching his hair.

“Hey, I put a lot of work into making this look as effortless as possible.”

“He does,” Tanya confirmed lovingly. Leah felt a rumble of deep laughter against her back.

There he is. There’s my love.

Carlisle and Esme watched the entire scene play out in amusement, shaking their head at Garrett’s antics.

“Okay, Edward, I’m coming in for a hug, please don’t tear my head off,” Carlisle gently teased. Edward released Leah and went to lean against the counter, rolling his eyes. Carlisle sweetly embraced her, and she smiled at Edward over the back of his shoulder. The look on his face made her want to melt with him into nothingness.

“We missed you this week, Leah,” Carlisle stated. “Edward mentioned your interviews. I hope all is well.”

“Actually,” Leah drawled out slowly and fidgeted. “I came here to tell Edward something. I mean, everyone might as well find out at the same time. Except for Esme, I already told Esme.”

“Just so you know, I would’ve taken it to my grave,” Esme reassured her.

“But you’re never going to die,” Garrett stated plainly while Tanya and Esme shushed him.

Edward cocked his head in interest. “Tell me what?”

Leah held her arms open and grimaced nervously in anticipation.

“How do you feel about putting in a transfer to Seattle Medical Center? Or I mean…anywhere…in Seattle?”

Edward remained motionless, his mask of calm slowly dissipating as a burgeoning smile spread across his face.

“Are you quite serious?”

Leah’s hands fluttered in front of her as she explained. “I start next month. And I didn’t mean to do this in front of everyone…and Tanya and Garrett.” She turned awkwardly to the two otherworldly beautiful vampires, seeming so out of place as silent witnesses to her little job announcement. “Sorry, Tanya and Garrett, this is not exactly groundbreaking news. But I got a new job…at a start-up…in Seattle.”

Garrett shrugged and clapped politely while Tanya stared at her for a moment before bowing her head. 

“Congratulations,” she mentioned quietly, her eyes trained on Edward as he ran his hands through his hair, still speechless. She returned her gaze to Leah, and rather than contempt, Leah observed a glint of sadness and resignation. Tanya may no longer have been in love with Edward, but it seemed a piece of her would always question why she wasn’t. That much was clear.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but he’s mine. You already have someone.

Before she knew it, Edward scooped her up off her feet and twirled her around in heady excitement as she shrieked. He kissed her passionately again as she wrapped her hands around his neck, forgetting the world around them. She gazed back into his carefree eyes, his unchecked laugh and smile, and grabbed his cheeks, leaning her forehead against his.

Yes, this one’s mine. 

Edward continued to kiss all over her face until she laughingly pushed him away and he set her down.

Garrett glanced shrewdly between them both. “So, you two have definitely been fucking. Forget the job, when’s the wedding?”



 

They'll get through, they'll get you
In the place that you fear it the most
In the corner, where it's warmer
In the face that you wish was a ghost

Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream breathing life into the nightmare
Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream breathing life into the nightmare

- Punching in a Dream by the Naked and Famous

 

Edward

 

The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly enough for Edward, with Tanya and Garrett generally civil and warm in their attitude toward Leah. All this despite Edward wanting to zealously beat Garrett’s ass on occasion. He was impatient to get Leah alone, this week apart an exquisite kind of torture, one that could only have been dreamt up for him by him. His family’s current guests were not so unwittingly standing in the way.

Garrett had been an American Revolutionary War rebel in a past life and gravitated towards this sort of thing, a relationship that defied norms and expectations. He couldn’t keep his thoughts from Edward that he was somewhat impressed he and Leah were striking out on their own, proclaiming themselves to the world. He wasn’t clueless as to Tanya’s former attachment to Edward, but in the end, Tanya had needed someone like Garrett; laidback and fierce and loving all at once. And that was enough for him.

Pretty bold for a tight ass, he had smugly thrown at Edward. And then he had bluntly asked Leah right there and then to transform into her wolf so they could race.

Leah had managed to hold him back after only one glancing punch to Garrett’s jaw.

Tanya…Tanya had been anxious. The beginning of their visit had frustrated Edward, the general wistfulness with which she viewed Leah bothering him immensely. He only hoped Leah chose to ignore it, in favor of his genuine pleas that Tanya meant nothing to him in that way. Edward didn’t like when Tanya reminisced on their time together; it represented a bleak period for him, one in which he threaded in and out of his darker nature. One where happiness evaded him for decades at a time.

He didn’t fault her for having feelings at one time or viewing him with general fondness. Tanya was a true ally, one who he admired for her resilience and easy interactions with humans, and he was grateful for their friendship. But they easily tired of each other; her of his morbid, ruminating regret and Edward of her manipulative antics, in and out of the bedroom. Tanya could get anyone she wanted, human or vampire and wouldn’t let anyone forget it. The superficial, physical connection she and Edward shared almost ruined their deeper friendship and genuine like for the other when Tanya began to pursue him.

He could not imagine two people who would make each other less happy.

 Tanya understood this too, but given Edward was the one person she had not managed to submit, he recognized that small burning streak of competitiveness.

It was the same thing Edward struggled with anytime Leah mentioned Sam, a slight envy he would never give voice to. It was ridiculous to give that satisfaction to a man who had already imprinted, even if he had been Leah’s first love.

It was nothing compared to what burned between him and Leah now.

But then Tanya had nervously projected a thought, one that refused to leave him and tortured him mercilessly as everyone conversed and joked into the evening. It gave rise to an invisible wound borne of helplessness, overshadowing his feelings of joy over Leah’s news.  

And what of the Volturi, Edward?

Tanya knew better than most what Edward was risking. Her mother, her sisters, all slaughtered at the hands of the Volturi. There had been talk of forbidden practices, of Tanya’s mother turning a child into a vampire, which was ugly enough. But Carlisle had additionally surmised that they viewed the Russian coven as a growing threat; the commanding powers of Tanya and her family much too advanced to later contain if needed. Tanya had been left as the lone witness, a warning as to what awaited anyone who defied their laws.

Edward had been convincing enough to himself and Carlisle and Esme, that Leah was not exactly human. That, if one were to view it cynically, she and her tribe had their own secrets to shield, enough to stave off the threat of exposing themselves or any vampire.

In their daily existence, vampires held the least amount of interest.  

The trouble was the thought of convincing others of the same. Edward burned in ferocious anger and black fear at the thought of what someone like Aro, the Volturi leader, might want with an impossible creature like Leah.

Never. He’ll never get his hands on her.

But even Edward knew it was an uneasy promise. Keeping the Volturi at bay would require more than an unwritten truce and himself alone.

Carlisle had been anxious about the light in the Weber footage; about some novel power, which was a possibility given the collection of vampires that Aro had amassed over the years. Some of them even set Edward on edge and could possibly render him as harmless as a cat. And yet…both he and Carlisle were of the same thought: The triumvirate would never expose themselves to the risk of going to war with their family. It would upset the ostensibly benign and affectionate attitude Aro held for Carlisle, even if it thinly veiled his jealousy; he was nothing if not an admirer of unique objects. The Volturi knew how powerful they were as they stood, seven deep, now eight with Leah. If they killed Carlisle, an unimaginably good man, there would be nothing to stem the flow of resentment and eventual mutiny that would arise amongst vampires world over. The Volturi would always need to tread lightly.

And why the store? Why here?

It was still wise to be vigilant until he and Carlisle and Esme could isolate the perpetrator. He would broach the topic with Leah and convey his uncertainty and doubt, as reluctant as he was to bring up the Volturi in her presence. Her safety was paramount, and he would propose that she stay at the house with him, just until the matter was resolved. It would be her decision, but he was confident Leah would relent this once, if only just to put his mind at ease.

 His love was fiercely independent, exquisitely fearless, and strong in every way possible, but he had observed the shadow that crossed her face when he had spoken of the Volturi. It was the same that crossed Edward’s as he sat calmly on the Cullen’s white couch, bidding farewell to Tanya and Garrett. Esme and Carlisle had already said their goodbyes and fled to the woods near the cottage, Esme begging off to hunt as she had abstained that afternoon.

“Now don’t get up Edward, I insist,” Garrett joked, slamming his hand down on his shoulder. Edward shoved him off once again with a reluctant smile. Despite his constant ribbing and taking a fist to the face, the man was incredibly good humored.

“Always interesting to see you Garrett, may another decade pass before I have to again,” Edward bluntly replied.

“Oh mon petit chou, we all know you’ll miss me. Don’t deny it.” Garrett grinned, using some French he had undoubtedly picked up in a god forsaken army camp. He swooped in and gave Leah a kiss on the cheek as she blushed. Edward could tell Leah was amused by him, even a little taken, and he resisted the impulse to shake her loose of the obnoxious Garrett.  He wouldn’t deny her anything that brought a smile to her face.

He made a show of checking his watch and grimacing, his eyes impatiently marking the closed door.

“Okay, okay,” Tanya chuckled. “We get it, you want some time alone with your mate.”  

 “No, please, don’t go on our account,” Leah implored, eyeing Edward with a little reproach. She had been enjoying herself. Her eyes had eventually rid themselves of doubt and sparkled with laughter after speaking with Tanya and humoring Garrett. A searing pride shot through him, even though Edward surmised her comfort level had a touch to do with the alcohol Esme had poured down her throat.

Thank goodness she’s a wolf.

He even recognized a playful flirtation Tanya held for Leah, a general teasing that was her manner with women she was attracted to, and Edward once again fought down his possessiveness. He wondered if Leah noticed this paradoxical turn. And then, with distaste, he wondered if Garrett did as well.

I bet he did, the louse.  

But he couldn’t blame them. Leah’s wit was unmatched. And her beauty was like a beacon in night, a live thing that floated inside her and reflected outward.

 A warm blooded, heart pumping, skin grasping beauty.

Edward needed to get a hold of himself.

“No, no, we know when to see ourselves out,” Tanya generously offered and laughed. She kissed Leah on both cheeks and held her hands. “It was wonderful to meet you. I have to say I’ve never seen him like this.” She turned and shook her head at Edward in awe. “He’s so happy it’s making me a little sick.”

“Oh, I know, right?” Leah groaned. “I’m getting a little sick of us, too.”

But then Edward felt the lightest touch in his mind, the feathery wisp of Leah’s thoughts as she pushed them towards him.

Let’s show everyone just how sick we can be, she teased.

Edward was immediately alert, and stood to usher the others out.

He gave Tanya a quick hug.

“Safe travels. We’ll visit Denali soon. Enjoy the trip to…where was it? Right, Panama,” he rushed out. But Tanya held on for the briefest of moments, digging her fingers in as she hissed anxiously under her breath, the noise undetectable by Leah.

“Be careful. For both your sakes. For all our sakes. Please be careful.” She kissed Edward on the cheek and joined Garrett, who had seemingly not heard a thing. But Edward saw his hand wrap tightly around her shoulders.

“Take care, lovebugs. Watch out for Johnny Law, he always comes knocking. But I don’t doubt you two can put up a good fight.” He winked. Tanya gave Edward another meaningful glance, and then led Garrett to the door, mercifully silent.

In an instant, they were gone, the wide-open front door the only sign of their exit.

‘What was that about?” Leah instantly questioned, turning to face him. “Johnny Law?”

“Garrett being a supreme jackass is what that was about,” Edward muttered, his fear spiking and then resignedly evening out. It was time. He would tell her and beg for her to stay. Hopefully, in the end, their worry would amount to nothing.

But when he stared back at her to elaborate, he found his eyes wandering of their own accord. Leah had dressed like she would for work, her pants curving deliciously over her ass and flaring out. They sheathed those legs that he constantly fantasized about, wrapped around his own. Or his back. Or his neck, for that matter.

She can sit on my face this time. She can sit on my face and I’ll show her exactly how much I’ve missed her, the darkness inside him purred.

And that sweater clinging to her arms and chest, covering all of her beautiful golden skin; it made his hands itch to take action. The dark, flowing curtain of her hair was tucked neatly behind her ears, which were adorned with large, decorative jewelry.

Take them off, slowly. Lick her lobes. Lick her neck. Lick the points of her breasts. Feel her skin, warm and pliable, under your hands. Feel her clench and fall apart as you move inside her.

“Edward?” Leah asked cautiously. “What…are…you…?”

Edward stalked closer, drawing his gaze up and down her body and Leah stood still. But he could tell she was eager, the way her heart rate sped up, the way she bit her lip, and oh god…that scent.

“You tease me and now you ask what I’m doing,” he mocked, inhaling. “Well, I can say I’m doing absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.”

Let her run her hands and mouth all over you. Let her take charge like she did before, bite down into you, mark you, make you hers. It’s all you’ve ever wanted. And then drink. Drink, Edward, just a little. She can take it.

Leah smirked. “You’re doing a good job of pretending that Venus herself didn’t just step out of this room, like five minutes ago.” Leah crossed her arms. “I mean, fuck, Edward. Way to bury the lede.”

Wait, what?

Edward paused in irritation when he realized she was speaking about Tanya.

No. No, tell me about us. Tell me about how we’ll never leave once we have a home. All the things we’ll do to each other. How many times we’ll break the bed, how you’ll never sleep, because I won’t be able to leave you alone…how it will never stop, because we won’t be able to stop.

He shook his head to clear that insane thought. Leah needed rest, that was never a compromise.  

“Forget about Tanya, I want to talk about you. Tell me about Seattle. We haven’t even gotten to celebrate your news, I want to hear everything.” He eagerly reached for Leah’s arm, but she gracefully sidestepped him.

She scrunched her nose.

“Nuh-uh, not until you admit that Tanya is the most gorgeous woman on the planet and I wasn’t being ridiculous.”

She’s enjoying this. She’s enjoying being chased. She wants to play. Well, we can play.  

Edward groaned and leaned back. He ran his hand through his hair and gave her an incisive look.

“Tanya is objectively beautiful, yes. There is reason to that statement. But why you think that would matter when the most enchanting person I have ever met stands before me, is the real question.” He took another swipe at Leah and she stepped back with a scoff.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t give me that. You can acknowledge she’s ridiculously hot. I mean I thought she was hot. Couldn’t take my eyes off her,” Leah admitted plainly.  

I am not jealous of Tanya. I am not…fuck, I’m a little jealous of Tanya.

“She thought you were “hot”,” Edward countered, and his words had the intended effect, unbalancing Leah as she drew up her brows in disbelief.

She really has no idea how beautiful she is.

“Um, what?” Leah barked out an incredulous laugh. “That’s such a lie, it’s stupid. She did not.”

“Oh yes,” Edward nodded solemnly, cornering Leah at the foot of the staircase. “She got very close to you. I could tell exactly what she was thinking. It’s too bad, she never stood a chance.”

Too bad that no one can touch you but me. No one. Ever.

“I mean, in another world, she definitely would have,” Leah offered honestly. She backed up onto the stairs, taking her time as she lifted her feet step by step and then suddenly turned to run.

It’s also too bad that I am faster than you.

By the time Leah huffed into Edward’s room, he was seated comfortably on the couch, his hands folded under his chin.

‘Going somewhere?” he asked.

“Ugh, I’m going to beat you…one day,” she said, a little breathless. “And what could I have that Tanya would even like? I mean, jeez…”

“You are everything she is and more,” Edward interrupted heatedly, the wild animal he kept caged lurking impatiently under the surface. “She could never hope to be like you. She could never hope…,”

Edward abruptly caught Leah, finally holding her in his arms as her preternatural warmth and grasping hands welcomed him. He stared at the contours of her face.

“She could never hope to have your beautiful, depthless eyes. I feel like I’m drowning every time you look at me, Lee.” Leah rolled them in response, but he could tell she wanted him to continue.

“And the flush of your cheeks, the perfect bow of your lips.” He kissed her, wanting to feel them, to communicate how they felt against his. Leah hummed against his mouth. “The way your smile lights up your face, it kills me. That it makes me want to exist just so you’ll point it in my direction.

Leah graced him with it briefly as she followed his finger, drawing a line down her neck.

“She could never hope to have the soft, warm curve of your neck. Your pulse like a drumbeat under the surface.”

Leah swallowed and her lips parted. He would ravish them, just enough until they were swollen from his venom. She wouldn’t feel a thing.

“Or your long, raven hair. Long enough to cover your supple breasts when you lie naked in my bed. Inviting me to wrap my hands in it and breathe it in. To bury myself in your chest while you sleep.”

“Oh,” Leah’s breath sharply hitched and Edward took the opportunity to tug at the hem of her sweater, a silent question in his eyes.

Leah nodded and lifted her arms, He tossed it to the side, running his hands over her stomach and arms.

“Or your skin like silk. For god’s sake, Leah, you have no idea what you do to me,” he growled and crouched down, licking across her ribcage as Leah shuddered. His control was truly disintegrating by the second.

Tell her about the way she feels when you use your fingers on her pussy. And your tongue. That unending wet heat that tastes sweet. Like earth and flowers…and life.

Edward ignored the voice in his head, which was growing cruder and beginning to unfortunately sound a bit like Garrett.

He unbuttoned her pants and dragged them down, flooded in the wave of warmth that accompanied that action. Leah squirmed a little but then obediently stepped out of them. And then her underwear. She unfastened her bra herself.

“I have some idea,” she whispered, pulling him up and sliding her hand down to where he had wanted it before. In the dining room, when he had to remind himself that taking Leah on the table wouldn’t give him enough time to do everything he wanted. That he needed.

He kissed her deeply, his tongue meeting hers once again. He could feel her nipples harden against his chest and circled one with his fingers.

God damn me, I want to suckle them until she begs for me to stop. But this isn’t about me.

 He walked her to the bed, seating her so his crotch was eye level. He quickly unbuttoned his own shirt, shrugging it off, and undid his belt. He could smell the trees and wind and dirt on his clothes and he grew even harder, remembering the blood he drank from a cougar earlier in the day. Anticipating the warmth. Much like he was now.

Leah reached up and unzipped his pants, hand stroking him as he stroked her hair. That blazing heat, it was like streaks of golden fire traveling through his skin, resurrecting him. Leah stared up with those discerning, liquid brown eyes and he almost came in her hand.

How could she think I’d ever want someone else?

Edward groaned and was about to press her to lay back, but then…

“Can you get the lights, please,” Leah softly pleaded, her hand still covering him. “I love you, but your glass house is making it very easy for all the toms to peep at us.”

Edward resisted the urge to laugh but tugged her hair playfully. Leah truly forced him out of his tired habit of taking himself so seriously. She made this all too fun, so much more fun than he had ever thought it could be.

“There is no one here, love,” he assured her and smiled, this thumb rubbing her bottom lip and then dipping into her mouth like he had before. There was something so purely arousing when she did that, when she welcomed him in. Like last week, when the wet, warm suction of her mouth had slid down his cock. He would never ask it of her, but if she freely offered…who was he to complain? “But if you’d prefer no lights, it makes no difference to me.”

So quick he betrayed his eagerness, he flipped the switch to his lamp. They were shrouded in nothing but night and the soft glow of the moon hanging outside the windows.  

“I can still see every inch of you in the dark,” he hungrily whispered, and Leah moaned with abandon as they took their time.



*************************



Leah puffed out a noiseless breath, unaware that she sometimes held it as she slept. As if some figure in her dreams led her to restrain herself, to exhale only when she felt the threat pass. Edward wondered if she knew she curled her fists tightly while she dreamt, maybe to ward off this unknown attacker.

Edward would have groveled endlessly to whatever guardian presided over Leah’s mind, just to have a glimpse of her thoughts. Just to possess a second of a window into what troubled her at night.

You could push your way in, she’ll let you. She’ll let you do anything, the darkness pressured him. He easily ignored it, knowing he would never betray Leah’s trust. Knowing it was laughable to think it, even if he felt he could better protect her if he knew. There were boundaries he could not cross.

Never. I would never.

She was restless tonight, clawing lightly at the pillow next to her and then extending her arm across it. She was seeking him out, but Edward had reluctantly removed himself from her welcome embrace. Seated on the couch, he gravely studied her with his hands tented over his mouth.

You idiot. You fucking idiot.

He had allowed his desire for her to overcome all his good sense; had deflected her question about Garrett’s parting words.

Fuck Garrett, too.

But Tanya had been right. What exactly did he intend to do, with the encroachment of the Volturi, whenever that might be? Carlisle was once again too accommodating, not wanting to push Edward to face all potential outcomes. Wanting to give him a little time and space, now that he was finally…finally…

Happy. In love. Painfully, blissfully, in love.

He silently groaned. No one would even get close to Leah, as long as he was alive, but no one had prepared him for how torturous this was. How it would consume him, this need for her along with the need to protect her. He idly wondered if she was feeling the same, if the imprint bond carried the same weight of obligation.

Not obligation. Need. I need her to be safe.

In the morning, he would tell her everything. And ask for forgiveness in the same breath in which he would ask her to sacrifice her home to stay with him. She would give it, because she was far too generous. Even with her imposed limits.

And she’ll be here, with me. And then in Seattle. And we’ll never be apart again.

It seemed like an easy progression. And yet something grated at the edge of his consciousness.  

Leah turned again in her sleep and Edward could see her face clearly, eyes shut but sliding back and forth beneath her lids like a metronome. She was in REM sleep and would wake soon. Edward would ensure he was back in place before that happened, so she wouldn’t be unsettled by his absence.

But he had some time, just enough to recall a faint echo of this fear plaguing him. It involved the droves of vampires venturing onto the mountain, and the inescapable fate that awaited them. And him…

Edward stood like a silent sentinel on the clearing just below the mountain’s peak. He could vaguely scent Sam and the pack several miles away, but with him and the Denali clan -Tanya, Garrett, Carmen, and Eleazer - in position, they would hopefully have little to do when Victoria and the newborns finally arrived. The rest of the family awaited Edward’s instructions at the edge of town, should the newborns break through the first line of defense. They could run faster than the wolves and intervene if necessary. He needed Alice to stay back, to be his eyes as to how this scenario would play out: Tell him what decisions he needed to make in the heat of the moment.

Alice was texting since calls were not reliable at this altitude. Her messages had been steadily streaming through until the past quarter hour, when they halted. Edward wasn’t too worried; it was likely due to there not being much to report.

It didn’t help that the wolves were temporarily rendering her visions useless the closer they came to reaching this day. But their assistance would be invaluable, if they could succeed where Edward and his family failed.

Should it come to that.

A flash of little Seth Clearwater cheerily waving at him broke through his thoughts and he struggled to maintain composure.

He focused on the approach of the army, the buzz of the voices, the childish enmity of the vampire leading them. Even so, the guilt he held over involving the pack was overwhelming.

“She’ll never forgive you, you know. If anything happens to him, she’ll never forgive you,” Edward’s inner voice warned him. He pushed away thoughts of a beautiful, scowling girl. One whose emotional armor shielded a scared, sensitive soul. One who had lost so much in the little time he had known her.  

She was relying on him. They were all relying on him.

And it was his battle to wage.

He checked his phone again, anxiety now creeping up and sowing doubt into his plan.

“Alice, where are you?” he whispered urgently against the wind. And then everything crashed into him at once, a keening scream ringing in his ears until it focused into one point of sound. It was as if a dial tone had assaulted his mind.  

He fell to his knee but managed to steady himself.

“What?...what the hell?”

His mind sought to protect itself, instantly shielding him from everything and everyone in his surroundings. He noticed the approach of Tanya’s scent, felt the quake of her frantic run up the mountain. But he could hear nothing.

She wordlessly yelled towards him, boots crunching in the snow, her mouth moving and saying nothing at the same time.

“Wait, Tanya, hold on.” Edward concentrated, pulling his mind out of its shield until the world opened to him again. But Tanya’s voice was like a bee in a swarm, impossible to isolate.

“I can’t hear you,” he said in a panic. Tanya looked at him as if he were losing his mind, and repeated herself, at a human pace this time.

Her voice rose gradually, still muffled, but Edward focused on her mind.

“Alice couldn’t reach…she sent word to me…ran as fast as I could.”

“What…what’s wrong? What did Alice say?”

“There’s trouble Edward.” It was as if Tanya was underwater. “They’re here.”

Edward shook his head irritably. Tanya wasn’t making sense. The newborn army would soon arrive, but they weren’t here just yet. As far as he could deduce from the slow redevelopment of his senses, they were circled together, miles down the peak of the mountain away from Forks. Two valleys over. A soupy mixture of voices rose again, confirming this, though they seemed more startled than before.

“They’re grouping down the way you came Tanya, get back into position! We must be ready!”

Tanya held out her arms helplessly, beseeching him to listen. Her words instantly sharpened, and the volume increased.

“Edward, please, you don’t understand.”

But then time stopped as a sibilant, amused voice rose above the rest and slithered into Edward’s mind, like a serpent embedding itself into the folds of his brain. It was strange and sickeningly familiar all at once.

“Hello, dear Edward. I know you can hear me. Carlisle is quite secretive about his distant friend, Aro, I’m sure, but I’ve traveled quite far. We haven’t been properly introduced, but if you could come down and allow me the chance to make your acquaintance, I would be honored.”

Edward gazed back at Tanya in horror.

Tanya’s face dissolved into utter despair.

“The Volturi. They’re here.”


 

Notes:

….oh no. This isn’t good. Just wanted say to all you readers, especially the ones who take time to drop a review/comment and profess your love for the story, you make me so happy. It’s my pleasure to write anything that holds your interest, and I’ll keep doing it. Please review/subscribe/comment/like…all the things.

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Notes:

A/N: Own nothing but my own original dialogue and plotlines. Sorry for the delay, life happens. Oh, the Volturi… just when you think you’re out, they pull you right back in :/ Hold on, it’s going to be a ride.

TRIGGER WARNING: Contains references to suicidal ideation and attempt. Please take care in reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am

- In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins (cover by Natalie Taylor)




 

Leah slammed her laptop closed on the Cullen’s dining room table and pressed on her temples. Final projects from her Forks students notwithstanding, these headaches were plaguing her more and more frequently. She might need to see a doctor about reducing stress.

Or you could just tell the doctor you’re sleeping with. You are living in his house after all.

It didn’t help Edward was contributing to the buildup of tension in her body at the moment. She had awoken a few days ago to the grim set of his face and instantly knew she should brace herself.

“I can’t tell for certain,” he pleaded. “But we might have a much larger problem than we thought. I don’t believe we are in immediate danger, but I just want to be prepared in case. Stay with me, just until I can eliminate the possibility.”

And he went on the explain the Volturi in deeper detail; their dogged curiosity, their stringent requirements for who could remain knowledgeable about the existence of vampires and live to tell the tale. The possibility that someone…somewhere was already watching them.

The idea of the Volturi in Forks, after all this time, rendered Leah speechless. It seemed impossible, like the collision of two alien worlds: ancient vampires occupying the same space as Weber’s and First Beach and the high school. But then again, it had happened before. Leah had readily accepted a natural explanation for the ongoing vandalism at the Weber store because she had wanted to believe it. And she had ignored the fears in the back of her mind, now growing exponentially because Edward and Carlisle felt ill at ease. 

The icy fear creeping up Leah’s spine almost paralyzed her when she considered La Push and the pack. Edward had ensured her they remained hidden from the eyes of the governing vampires…but how could he be certain?

Regardless, Leah begrudgingly thought it was a good idea to steer clear of the rez, just for a few days. She didn’t want to raise the alarm with Sam, but if this continued any longer, she and Edward agreed to convene with the pack. There was too much at risk.

And she only had one class left at Forks, it was convenient enough to unpack her things and shelter with Edward and his family for the remainder of the week. She had reassured Sue she wasn’t moving in, after her mother’s disgruntled comments about Leah’s plans.

Leah had deftly avoided providing any answer that would unnecessarily alert Sue.

“It’s just easier with work. I’ll be back at the end of the week to empty out my classroom.” 

“Sure, sure…next thing I know you’ve eloped in Vegas, Lee.”

But she had not stood in her way. Leah took that as a sign of progress.

Still, Leah chafed, over a number of things: She fought against a mixture of worry and resentment that Edward had diminished the issue until now. He wanted to bear this burden on his own, and it stuck in Leah’s mind.

 Her safety was a priority, but what about his? He seemed ready to pounce into the fire at the first sign and his blind willingness agitated Leah. How could they protect each other if she didn’t even know what they were facing? The thought of Edward in danger eclipsed anything. Everything.

We don’t even know if there is something. It could be nothing. This whole thing might be blown out of proportion.

It was true. No one amongst the Cullens or the pack had detected any new scents, had identified any shifty stranger, supernatural or otherwise. But she struggled – how far should she go to ensure his safety, without being completely overtaken by her single-minded imprint bond? How far would she allow him to go to ensure hers?

That light.

She growled in frustration and dug the heels of her hands into her head. Before she could even look up, a mug of chamomile tea slid onto the table next to her.

“Thanks, Esme, but I don’t think tea is going swing it this time. I might need an elephant dose of Excedrin,” she ground out and instantly regretted her tone. The Cullens had been nothing but generous and she was picking apart their hospitality.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’ve just been staring at a screen for too many hours.”

Esme squeezed her shoulder, rattled a bottle of painkillers in front of Leah, and sat in an adjacent high-backed chair. The house was quiet, the cherry wood grandfather clock in the foyer striking seven. Edward was steering clear of the snit in Leah’s mood with a shift at the hospital, along with Carlisle. State of the art surveillance and camera equipment were mounted in every corner of the house and its surroundings, and she could rightly assume Edward was watching her now. She suppressed the urge to flip the bird to the open air.

He just wants you safe. You want him safe. Don’t be a bitch about it.

Leah may have imprinted, and Edward may have mated, but they were certainly facing new territory here.

“Take a break,” Esme tentatively suggested, handling Leah’s mood with so much more grace than she deserved. Leah gave her weak smile and definitively pushed away her laptop, glad for the reprieve.

“Yeah, I think that’s enough for tonight.”

“I know this is frustrating,” Esme replied knowingly. “But he means well. He didn’t mean to scare you. but everything he’s doing is for you, even if it’s a little suffocating.”

 Leah sat back, chagrined. “I have no qualms about that Esme, but this was not how I imagined how we’d be spending our extra time together.”

You know as well as I do, he needed to be more upfront with me.

She kept that thought to herself.

 “It’s difficult,” Esme acknowledged. “Knowing where to draw that line with a mate. With an imprint, too, I assume.”

“I feel selfish,” Leah admitted. “I want him with me all the time, I want him to say he needs me and cling to me when I need him. And yet, I want everything to remain exactly the same.”

She hunched down, leaning her chin on her hand. “Is that even possible? Everything has changed, so irreversibly, and I feel like I’m too stubborn to let it carry me forward.”

Esme narrowed her eyes in thought, careful to say the right thing and to also give Edward the benefit of the doubt. “It’s not. It’s not selfish to want that space for yourself. You want the best for Edward and for you to thrive independently. The unfortunate thing is, Edward has difficulty in identifying how to best balance that himself.”

Her words from the other day echoed in Leah’s mind.

Don’t let anyone hold you back.

“I only want the best for him,” Leah urged. “I never want him to suffer or constantly worry about me. I was so worried this imprint would hold him back, that he would…” Leah choked, her emotions rising to the surface. “It’s like he doesn’t understand the lengths I would go for him. That we’re partners. And he feels like he needs to go it alone. It’s like history repeating itself.”

Edward alone on the mountain. Edward leaving her in the car in Port Angeles. Edward demanding she stay back at Weber’s.

 “That makes sense,” Esme reasoned. “But you’ve had your family. Your friends. Your community. He’s been alone a long time. He’s fought with his true nature for decades with few at his side. Now that he has so much, he’s terrified of losing you. We’ve all faced that crisis at some point, though Edward is in the habit of bearing that weight on his own instead of sharing it.” She neatly folded and refolded a cloth napkin draped to the side of Leah, trying to busy her hands. There was a certain comforting, domestic quality to Esme, though Leah knew she was lightyears beyond the average housewife. “We might seem to have it figured out Leah, but I promise, this existence can be a struggle, even for years at a time. I know I told you not to let him hold you back, but this is not that. Go easy on him.”

“Of course. I know that,” Leah softly assured her. “He’s everything to me.”

“And you’re everything to him,” Esme reminded her, but then chortled. “The men in this family do seem to have a white knight complex, don’t they? It can be quite dramatic.”

Even with her smile, Leah found that familiar shadow, the clouding of Esme’s features. Her curiosity burned even brighter now that she had her alone.

“And Carlisle…was your white knight?” Leah hesitantly proposed, digging where she maybe should not.

Esme lifted her hands and then dropped them, her expression giving nothing away. But Leah could see she was thinking, deep in a memory, and weighing whether to share it or not.

Leah immediately felt like she overstepped.

“I’m so sorry, forget it,” Leah backtracked. “I run my mouth so much sometimes, it’s pathological…and definitely genetic. You’ll know what I mean since you’ve spent more than five minutes with Sue.”

Leah’s desperate jokes brought Esme out of her silence.

“Oh, hush, you,” Esme laughed shortly. “Your mother is wonderful. You’re lucky to have her.”

Leah shrugged, a little contrite. “She’s pretty great.”

“And as for me,” Esme continued unassumingly. “It’s not so much an interesting tale, but it is one I’m sure you’ve heard or read about before. One all too common, I’m afraid.”

She trained her full attention on Leah, asking her rhetorical questions.

 “Have you ever met someone who you thought, why yes, they would check all the boxes? They fit nicely.”

Leah uncomfortably recalled her breakup with Sam. How she had clung so fiercely because he seemed like the kind of guy she belonged with. The kind of guy who slotted into her life so effortlessly.  

“In a sense,” Leah answered.

“Well, that was Charles for me,” Esme confessed. “My former husband. I was twenty-three when I met him at the Rotary Club dance. That might not mean so much now, but back in Ohio they were all the rage. A chance to dress up and gossip with your friends. And maybe even catch the eye of the fellow you’ve been hoping would notice you. My friend Sally had just gotten engaged, and wouldn’t you know, my mother was nagging me to do the same. She and my father had tolerated me getting my English Lit degree at Oberlin, and now it was time to fulfill my end of the bargain.”

“I bet you were a firecracker,” Leah smirked.

“Oh, heavens, no,” Esme gasped. “But I had my fun, and in their opinion, I needed to settle down.”

She drummed her fingers against the table in thought.

“And Charles was fine. He brought me punch after I’d been stood up by another boy in my friend group and wouldn’t take no for an answer when I declined to dance. He was handsome and nice enough, but he seemed a bit…how do the kids say it nowadays…desperate. Like he saw something in me and wouldn’t let it go until he had it for himself.”

Leah’s stomach began to sink.

“It didn’t seem to matter to my friends and family, though. In their eyes, he had a good job at the bank, could provide a nice living, and he was head over heels for me. I was getting older and desired a family of my own. Charles seemed as good as anyone, though his temper flared on occasion. I loved him in my own way, loved that he seemed so sure in what he wanted. I would occasionally waver, especially remembering a certain gorgeous doctor who had set my broken leg as a teenager. It was so silly really, I used to love climbing trees…”

“Wait, hold on, you broke your leg and...what?” Leah interrupted. “What doctor?” 

Esme smiled mischievously, looking like a page out of a Gibson Girls ad more than ever. Leah instantly understood.

“Carlisle?” Leah blurted out. “Carlisle was your doctor?”

“Funny, isn’t it? How people can enter your life, and then leave, and then inexplicably arrive again. Right when you might need them.”

Like Edward at the hospital, Leah thought absently. But let’s be real, that was on purpose, the sneak.

“That’s nuts.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Esme agreed. “But I had ignored it for the crush it was. Carlisle was long gone by the time I finished college and returned home, and I didn’t have a variety of prospects other than teaching. I liked it but I didn’t fight too hard when Charles told me he preferred I stay at home, after we got engaged. I truly wanted a family, and I prepared my home for this inevitability. It was my calling; I was certain of it.”

Esme deeply exhaled, more calming than necessary, as her hands now pressed against the table. Any harder and Leah was sure she would see grooves in the wood.

“And then…a week after the wedding…Charles began to hit me.”

Leah’s chest constricted with horror. She had been expecting something of the kind, and yet, it still came as an unwelcome shock.  

 “That’s terrible,” she whispered miserably, regretting ever bringing it up. As if Esme wanted to relive something so awful. “I’m sorry, please, you don’t need to continue…,”

“It’s alright, dear. I don’t mind. I can get through the story now without wanting to tear the bastard limb from limb, and it was one of the reasons I am where I am today.” Esme shook her head, as if she was amazed she had ever been a victim. “At first, he was so clever about the whole thing. A slap that wouldn’t leave a mark, a firm grip and shove in the quiet of our house. All smiles for everyone else, nothing but contempt for me. I couldn’t do anything right. I was so ashamed, I stopped socializing, began to hide myself from my friends and family. And Charles liked it that way. I thought I could bear it, put on a brave face.” Esme’s eyes darkened. “Until even my face couldn’t lie.”

“It went on for years and was getting to the point that I was covering a black eye and a bruised arm just in time to make room for more. Once, on a visit to the doctor, I refused to hide them, and a nurse handed me an ice pack. And a white powder compact. She meant well but it made me want to scream. And that wasn’t even the worst part. The doctor, ignoring the obvious, congratulated me on being pregnant.”

“You were pregnant?” Leah asked, startled. “You had a baby?”

“Mhm. I was. But instead of being ethereally happy at the thought of finally starting a family, I was paralyzed with fear. I didn’t want Charles anywhere near either of us. I packed a suitcase and ran away, back home. It is safe to say, my parents were displeased to see me.” Esme’s lips were drawn in a thin, grim line as she recounted. “They convinced me to go back. Charles was all apologies, idiotically falling over himself, promising it would never happen again. They all fell for it. Of course, I knew better, but what choice did I have? I fooled myself into thinking I would handle it. That having a baby would somehow temper him, force him to treat me better.”

Leah swallowed painfully and her hand crept over Esme’s, unsure of what else she could possibly do. Esme affectionately rubbed it in response.

“But it continued. The market crash in 1929 of course exacerbated things. I left again, when I was seven months pregnant. A cousin of mine dropped me off at a women’s home a few towns over, where Charles wouldn’t be able to trace me. I thought my nightmare was over…and yet, never tell yourself you’ve reached rock bottom until you’ve literally done so.”

Esme chuckled without humor.

“He came early. Prematurely. I was rushed to the hospital just in time for them to deliver and those doctors and nurses tried their best…and my beautiful boy fought his hardest. But he was too underdeveloped, ultimately unable to breathe on his own. I was able to secure an unmarked plot, at the edge of a proper cemetery, with the help of a local pastor. We buried him there.

 “Oh no,” Leah breathed out. Esme squeezed her hand, ironically comforting her.

“I’ve since made my peace with it, but I don’t think I need to tell you what the attitudes towards post-partum women and mental illness were at the time, especially where I was from. I had spells growing up that were dismissed as doldrums or lethargy, but I know now that I clearly struggled with depression. My circumstances amplified the feeling…or I should say my condition.”

“I didn’t leave my room at the women’s home for four days. On the fifth, I made a decision, one where I felt I had no choice. I bathed and dressed, pulled on my coat and hat and went for a walk. A long one that led to a rather well-known gorge. Perfectly fenced in by a steep cliff.”

Tears blurred Leah’s vision and she allowed them to fall.

“I think you can puzzle together what happened next. Except I didn’t exactly succeed. My broken body was found floating downstream a ways. I later discovered it took four medics to hike the stretcher up to an ambulance. But I wasn’t completely dead, even though they determined I was.”

“How?” Leah asked, stricken.

Esme shrugged. “Sheer luck? A will to live buried deep beneath all the pain I had endured. Whatever it was, I am grateful for it.”

“The pathologist at the closest hospital was a man who was known to keep late nights. The staff apparently used to joke that he never slept. He noticed my pulse upon examining my body and dismissed the medics, assuring them he would see to it I was properly identified. I can only imagine their relief. And the doctor…well I can only imagine Carlisle’s shock in seeing me again in that state. Dying in front of his eyes.”

“Just like that? Your paths crossed again?” Leah questioned. It seemed too fantastical, but the universe seemed to revel in creating impossible situations.

Like a wolf imprinting on a vampire.

“They did, if you can believe it. And he turned me. It felt a bit like fate, I suppose. Maybe he bit me out of sympathy, or even nostalgia over the girl I once was. I’m not sure he even knows.”

 

Leah gave a low whistle as Esme graced her with another mysterious smile.

“What I do know is we fell in love, quite easily. And I somehow lucked into a second chance at life despite the certainty I had nothing left to live for,” she finished.

“And Charles?” Leah insisted, in awe of Esme’s story, to the point she needed to conduct a post-mortem. “Did you ever see him again?”

Did you ever kill the asshole, is what I’m asking.

“Oh Leah,” Esme sighed, immediately catching Leah’s meaning. “Revenge never did anyone in this family any good. Except maybe Rosalie, but she’ll have to have to tell you that story another time.”

Rosalie sounds like a badass.

“Why not?” Leah’s voice hardened. “You would have been entirely justified.”

“And you would have made a terrible lawyer,” Esme mused. She shrugged and simply laid out his fate.

“Charles died about five years later, desperately broke, shunned from our family and friends, and stinking of the alcohol that finally did him in. Carlisle brought me his obituary one day, ever vigilant of my past life, and allowed me to grieve in my own way. I had loved the man he could have been, the marriage we could have add, our child. He was so lost; I couldn’t help but pity him at the end of it all. And after I took the time, I refused to waste any more of my new life on him, especially when Carlisle and this family were my future.”

“Wow…I,” Leah started but paused. “I don’t even know what to say.” She slowly stood, her headache a distant memory. She had no idea if it was appropriate, or if Esme even needed it. All she knew was the pangs of hurt in her chest were likely a fraction of what Esme was feeling.

She wrapped her arms around Esme, in a mournful, desperate hug.

“I’m so sorry. And I’m so thankful, at the same time. That you’re here.” Leah was being honest. This surge of emotion may have caught her by surprise, but it held her hostage, making her oddly vulnerable in a way she could now reserve for the likes of the Cullens.  

“Oh, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Esme insisted in concern. “But thank you. I’m also glad to be here.”

“You’re one strong lady.”

“So are you, Leah. Never doubt that.” Esme unhooked Leah’s arms and took her face between her hands. “This relationship will ask things of you that you may not be prepared for. Life itself will raise obstacles you could never fathom. But through it all, know this: You are strong enough to weather it. You have everything and everyone to live for. And Edward…he does too. It is a gift, an absolute miracle you two found your way to each other. Don’t take it for granted.”

Leah nodded, the full force of Esme’s words like a bucket of ice water flung over her head.

“I don’t plan on it,” she murmured back.

“Good.” Esme bounced up, walking past Leah. “I hope you like Italiano, I’ve got eggplant parm and roasted artichoke in the oven for your dinner.”

Leah did have to admit the food smells emanating from the kitchen were making her mouth water, but a small piece of her still resisted being waited upon. Especially after Esme’s story.

“Esme, please don’t worry…”

“Bup, bup,” Esme interrupted, multitasking in the kitchen. “Don’t even say you’re not hungry. I can hear your stomach growling and your mother texted saying you skipped breakfast.”

If this was the worst she needed to get used to, Leah thought she was probably luckier than most.

“Whatever you say, Esme. I’m just the wolf who’s happy not to have to hunt for her keep.”



*******************************



A short while later, Leah ventured into the backyard. Night had fallen but she knew with all the uncertainty, sleep would not come easily to her tonight.

She stood by Esme’s favorite tree, the dead bark sloughed off in a dark moat around it. And she listened to the flow of the water, allowing it to carry her into an uneasy peace. At least for the present.

“You know I can feel you when you’re close, right? And smell you. And hear you,” Leah called out knowingly.

“Of course,” Edward politely remarked, emerging from the shadows of the creek bank. He drew closer, just enough that Leah felt relief wash over her. “I just thought you might need some space.”

He’s here. He’s safe. He’s with you.

She crossed her arms and turned.

“You mean because you’ve been watching me all day,” she bristled in annoyance.

“Do you want me to go,” he offered. Even with the mask of calm fortifying his expression, Leah could sense his hesitance, his chastised acknowledgment of her right to be upset.

“What do you think?” Leah seriously asked. “Please, tell me. I also don’t have the luxury of reading your mind. I honestly want to know what you think.”

He stared back, contemplative and melancholy. “I think you’re angry.”

“A little. But not because I want ‘space’, Edward,” Leah sighed in frustration. She leaned up and towards him, slowly engulfing him in a hug.  

He wrapped his arms around her back, holding him to her, molding her body to his. She felt his hand stroke comfortingly down her spine and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Her imprint bond roped them together and fastened the ends.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, yet again. “And I love you.”

“I love you, too. But I don’t want an apology, I want a promise,” Leah murmured, tightening her grip. Esme had told her to be strong but in the moment all she wanted was to not have to think and to overlook Edward’s mistake. Surrender her autonomy and allow him to sweep her away.

But this was important.

“Anything,” Edward softly pleaded.

“You don’t keep things from me. Ever,” she forced out. “We’re supposed to be in this together. How can that happen if you don’t share what’s been bothering you? Especially when it directly affects me.”

He remained silent for a beat, tucking her hair behind her ears as he stalled to distill the entirety of his concern into words.  

“I didn’t want to burden you,” he confessed. “You have enough to worry about, but I see that I was wrong. I…cannot bear the thought of you in danger and I feel it compromised my judgment.”

“Mmm, no kidding. You might have some savior complex issues to work out.” Edward snorted and kissed her temple.

That’s the understatement of the century.

“I am fully aware. Can I also mention I missed you terribly today?” He kissed her head again.  

“That would have been helpful about an hour ago,” Leah grimaced. “My brain feels like it’s being squeezed by a tiny demon.” Her headache had not fully dissipated, but she didn’t mind Edward kissing it away. He immediately probed her crown with his fingers, massaging out the tension, but also investigating for any sign of…anything.

If she thought his protective nature was an endearing, if annoying quirk before…it had amplified into a pathological need at this point.

Even so, Leah groaned in relief.

“This reminds me of our first meeting in the hospital,” Edward said, looking down at her in amusement. “Maybe I should make this a daily thing.”

Now Leah snorted.

“I wouldn’t mind that. And despite me attempting not to claw my way out of my body that day and pounce on you, that tale just gets funnier each time we remember it. Har har.”

“I can’t wait to tell others our origin story,” Edward laughed, and Leah shook her head.

“Come on,” Leah sighed, breaking away and pulling him towards the house. “Tell me about your day and I can bitch at you about mine.”

Despite the looming menace of the Volturi and Edward’s heightened security protocol, Leah had to admit she was overjoyed they were starting and ending their days together.

She would think of it as a dry run for Seattle.

When all of this drama is a speck in the rearview.

“Grading that bad, huh?” Edward lightly called behind her, swinging her arm. Their shoes scuffed softly, like whispers, against the grass and Leah felt the familiar impulse to shift gnaw at her. To feel the ground underfoot as she ran as her wolf. She would like to see how Edward would fare in a race against her then.

“Let’s just say I’m regretting leaving teaching just a little less at the moment.”

“You’re a fantastic educator,” Edward made sure to remind her, half smile intact. “Your students will miss you.”

“Well unless you want to start competing with the upperclassmen at Forks High, I think you’ll be happy I’m leaving.”

“Ahh, that child is still taken with you. Shall I speak to him?”

“My last class is tomorrow,” Leah chuckled. “I’ll just have to break Tyler’s heart, myself.”

“Poor kid. He won’t know what hit him. I don’t mind you letting him down gently, as long as you come home to me at the end of the day.”

Leah gazed at him with shining eyes, her armor obliterated into a thousand shards, incredulous at the thought of anyone else – anything else - competing with this.

She walked squarely back into him, kissing him in the shadows as his mouth passionately welcomed hers.  

I’m not coming home to you. You are my home.

“Yeah.” Leah paused as Edward searched her face and weaved his fingers with hers. She squeezed his hand back meaningfully. “Yeah, I’ll meet you at home.”



 

Well I remember, I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget
It's the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep this silence up
No you don't fool me
The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you and me

- In the Air Tonight ct’d




Leah’s coat sleeve snagged on the door as she turned off the lights and she swore out loud, slightly chagrined when she realized the possibility one of her students could overhear her. Everyone had filtered out at their own pace, buoyant from the realization that this was the last class and marked the beginning of an end to the term. As a result, they had clung to the classroom, asking Leah questions about next year and advice for college and gentle ribbing about how young she seemed. Leah took it in stride, genuinely pleased by the kids’ warmth and doing her best to ignore that hanging pang of regret over not revealing she wouldn’t be returning. That was the school’s job and Leah didn’t have it in her now to bring down the mood.

Their time together had been short, but Leah was grateful for the opportunity. As always, the money didn’t hurt either.

She smiled ruefully to herself as she turned and began her exit through the half-lit hallway. The kids must have moved fast after chatting as rows of lockers stood silently, flanking her, without anyone in sight. Angela had missed the last class, for reasons to do with the store that Leah couldn’t argue with, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly bereft at her absence. Leah didn’t understand how, after such a slow and tepid start in her move back home, she had so fully built up these relationships the past few months: Friday night hangs with Sam and Emily, joking with Seth and the pack, drinks with Angela. It was as if her feelings for Edward had unearthed and forced out some desire to seek these connections.  

The effortless vulnerability was indescribably annoying.

As if to hurry her and her wayward thoughts along, a fluorescent tube light fixture suddenly dimmed above her, shrouding her path on the linoleum in darkness. Leah huffed, a little uneasy.

That could at least wait until I’m out of the building.

She shifted her messenger bag over her hip and began to search through its contents, checking for her gradebook and planner. When she left this building, she had no desire to return to its darkening halls. It had been fine enough when she was surrounded by a classroom of cheeky teenagers, but the school seemed so forlorn now. Morose shadows loomed around every corner, or so it appeared to Leah.

 Something was prickling at her consciousness, and she deliberately ignored it in favor of envisioning a quiet night at home with Edward. He had graciously allowed her to drive herself today, but she had a feeling he would be following her home regardless. But he truly needed to chill, she didn’t smell or hear anyone, and her path was clear.

A door seemingly crashed shut on the other side of the building and Leah jolted up in surprise. She hesitated and then laughed when no other sound followed.

Probably maintenance. Calm the fuck down, no one is even he-.

And there it was. She had spoken too soon. A figure appeared ahead, as if out of thin air. At the end of the hallway, their silhouette was outlined against the projected square of fluorescent light still clinging to life. It fluttered as the figure slowly stepped forward.

Leah suppressed her body’s rising instincts, shaking away the curl of hot suspicion traveling under her skin that urged her to phase.

You’re about to maul a student, stop it!

But it didn’t seem like any student Leah had taught. She slowly inventoried their features. Pale, delicate, angelic features.

Makeup. Has to be.                                                                    

The alternative made no sense and wasn’t computing for Leah. This person was much too young. And she scented nothing.  

“Excuse me, can I help you? I think the school is closing soon,” she called out.

They paused and Leah noted what she thought was a hoodie covering the student’s top half acted more like a robe. Their pale slender hands deliberately peeled back the hood and they shook out a waterfall of shining, dark brown hair.  

Drama club. It’s just someone from the drama club. Just…

Leah had no idea if Forks High even had a drama club.

The wolf inside began to gnaw at her in earnest, snapping at her to release it.

Instead of freezing, her body shook with the effort of staying still and she lurched forward, taking brittle strides towards the student.

“What do you want?” she called out again, more urgently.

They smiled and it was enough to freeze Leah’s blood in her veins.

A mouthful of perfect, gleaming white teeth cut through the darkness.

Leah had too little time to process this before the figure finally spoke, a chilling, tilting voice that evoked an otherworldly being. One so familiar, yet foreign in its taunting tone.

“What do I want? That’s easy.”

Leah’s phone began to buzz loudly in the front pocket of her bag.

“You.”

Leah’s hands fumbled for her phone, and she began to pace backwards, quickening even as the alleged student stood fixed in place.

“Don’t move any fucking closer,” she yelled in warning, her vision swimming as she struggled to make sense of what was happening.

Edward. Edward was trying to contact her because he knew, she finally realized as she hurriedly accepted the call.

“Edward,” she quickly blurted. Her voice sounded strange, as if she was croaking in fear. “I’m sorry Edward, they’re here. Someone’s here. I think…”

“I’m already halfway to you,” he roared in desperation. “Do whatever you have to, threaten them that I will be there in minutes, that I will destroy them if they lay a hand…”

Leah choked as she felt a cold hand reach from behind and pluck the phone away from her ear. She didn’t dare turn around.

“Edward,” she whispered as she heard his tinny voice frantically call back to her.

“Oh yes, there’s two of us,” the vampire casually mentioned in front of her, suddenly only a few feet away. Leah could see the sinister sneer spreading across her face, so incongruously cherubic otherwise.

A white-hot ball of rage suddenly blazed through Leah, and she snarled.

“So rude of me,” the girl continued, ignoring Leah’s aggressive stance. She pointed at herself. “I’m Jane.” She peered past Leah’s shoulder acknowledging whoever was there. “And that’s Alec.”

“What the fuck are you?” Leah growled out, trying to buy time. Doing anything, like Edward had asked of her. “I can’t smell you.”

“Oh,” Jane giggled in delight. “That’s a new party trick of Alec’s. He can dampen our scents, quite useful really. One Aro was all too happy to put to use. Usually, Alec plays with sensory deprivation, but that gets boring.”

Volturi. They’re Volturi, Leah thought numbly.

“He’ll be here any minute,” Leah warned. “And until then, I’ll just have to snap you both in half.” She finally turned and was shocked to find another…child. He could have been the exact male counterpart of the girl, except slightly taller. The only thing that belied the innocent face was the swirling, black menace in his eyes.

“So much anger,” the boy named Alec tutted mockingly, “for one so beautiful. I think some rest might be just the thing for you.”

He raised his hand and gave her a genuine smile of pleasure, pausing to take her in as he waved his fingers. Leah knew whatever it was he was about to inflict on her, she didn’t stand a chance unless she broke free in the next few seconds. But even though neither vampire moved to lay one finger on her, Leah knew it would be futile to run.

Her only hope was to fight.

“Stop playing with her and do it now, Alec. It was hard enough to find her alone and we need to get to the airfield. The jet’s waiting,” the one called Jane impatiently hissed.

“NO!” Leah gasped, her helplessness only spurring her wolf into action. She felt her body begin to twist inside out, that first painful twinge of her transition…and then…

Edward. I can’t see. I can’t see. I can’t…feel.

It was the last thought that floated through her mind until total darkness consumed her. Overtook her until she herself was less than everything…less than dust.

Until she was nothing.

 





And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
Well I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
Well I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord, oh lord

- In the Air Tonight ct’d





Edward

Edward tore one half of the double doors to Fork High off its hinges, leaving destruction in his wake. At another time, he might have noted absently that he was lucky no human was currently present to notice or that the administration failed to install security cameras in a town as sleepy as Forks. And yet, he ran impossibly faster, barely registering Carlisle and Esme behind him, struggling to keep pace.

Leah, Leah, Leah, no!

His thoughts ran wild as he attempted, for the innumerable time, to catch Leah’s scent. Everything led him to the unlit hallway in the high school and he realized with growing terror that her trail abruptly cut off between parallel rows of lockers.

He had never known fear before, he finally realized. Had never truly known fear until he had so much to lose. Until he unknowingly took that call from Alice in the hospital as he was leaving to meet Leah. Until he had hung up on her frantic explanation of her delayed vision before she finished. She had seen too much too late; Leah’s nature had ensured that. He had heard enough.

I will rain down hell. I will destroy their entire city. No one and nothing will survive if any harm comes to her.

“Edward, please,” Carlisle pleaded, finally catching up. He stopped just short of Edward but did not dare touch him. “Please, they’ve taken her. Did Leah say anything, give any clue?”

It devastated Edward to hear the fading hope in Carlisle’s voice. He had to cling to some idea, some reassurance she was still alive.

She is. She is. Our bond is as strong as ever. It’s calling out to you.

A song of chaos played in his heart, a parting message from Leah.

“It’s them!” Edward screamed, and his fist caved in the locker closest to him. “They took her. She was so…” He fought to calm himself, to clear his mind of the worst possibilities. “She was scared. I know it’s them. Alice said as much.”

“Do you know which ones? Part of the guard? Are they traveling back by plane?” Carlisle pushed urgently.

This is my fault. She will suffer and it will be my fault.

“Edward!” Esme sternly cried out, interrupting his spiraling, defeated thoughts. She had also caught up to them. But she ran past him to the other end of the hall and back, to no avail. “Edward, listen to Carlisle. Help us help you. What else did Alice say?”

The city in the hills. The ancient, brown stone concealing something even older. Something that refused to die.

“She said there was no other way,” Edward desolately replied. “That I couldn’t save her, not now. Not here.”

Esme and Carlisle stared back at him silently, realization and then hard acceptance crossing their faces.

Edward knew he had no choice.

“Tonight. I leave for Volterra tonight.”  






 

Notes:

….yikes. Please review/comment/favorite/leave kudos, etc. if you enjoyed, and I will do my best to churn out another chapter soon! As always, thanks for reading!

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Notes:

Time to meet the man in charge. Own nothing but my own dialogue and plot lines. Going to be a rough few chapters, so hold on. As always, thanks for reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


This that I got, I got, I got, I got
Realness, I just kill shit 'cause it's in my DNA
I got millions, I got riches buildin' in my DNA
I got dark, I got evil, that rot inside my DNA
I got off, I got troublesome heart inside my DNA

- DNA by Kendrick Lamar




 

Move. Move .Move.

 

Her mind was a black hole, devoid of space and time, and yet the concept of motion was beginning to clarify itself in the nothingness.

 

Leah. Wake up. Wake up.

 

That name and demand rang out like a clarion call. So familiar and yet so far from herself she could barely grasp it.

 

GET UP!, the darkness finally screamed at her and it was as if every atom of her being expanded at the same time, magnifying the exhaustion of existing in that moment. Startled, she opened her eyes with a painful gasp.

 

She sucked in several gulps of air, screeching with the effort to inflate her lungs. She was breathing in a vacuum, each inhalation a dead, hollow, rattle until finally she screamed in her panic that she would be plunged into darkness once again.

 

That’s it, Lee. Breathe. Keep breathing.

 

The voice. Her voice. She was Leah Clearwater. She was alive.

 

I’m alive. I’m alive.

 

She could scarcely believe her luck. One minute the world was lost to her and the next she was…

 

What? What was she? Where was she?

 

What struck her first was the rough, unyielding surface beneath her. Her palms scraped over textured stone, the edges dulled but imprinting on her skin. She peered upward and, while the room around her was dim, the outline of a bed and several pieces of furniture came into focus.

 

Yet she was on the floor.

 

A slice of sunlight in the separation of a lush, burgundy curtain caught her attention and she dragged herself towards it, willing her hands and legs to support her endeavor. It was as if she was mired in molasses and her wolf senses themselves were battling to surface. But the light held some hope for her.

 

If she could just pull apart the curtain, just glance out the window. That would be enough.

 

But she had no way to lift herself up, to leverage the weight of her body. And she was so tired.

 

Her eyelids sluggishly drooped even as she reached out in a plea, bargaining to stay awake.

 

Great Spirit, help me. Help me not to forget, to not lose myself again.

 

Even so, her head met stone and she winced as her eyes shut once more as she fell unconscious. But not before she registered the creak of a door opening.

Who is it?

The question was too far buried in her brain, and no one answered.


_____


It could have been minutes or hours or days later when Leah opened her eyes once again, this time more readily accepting of her surroundings.

She was in the bed, covered in a morass of sheets and a rug like brocade thick with dust. She sneezed twice before tearing it off her and pushing the rest to the edge of the bed. A few items clattered to the ground with it and the scent of saccharine rot filled her nostrils. She gagged once and covered her mouth.

 “Well, I sincerely hope you weren’t hungry. Because there just went your breakfast,” a bored voice chided in accented English.

A tall, elegantly poised vampire emerged from the shadows. She was the source of the wretched scent, standing clear of the cold, fading light streaming in an arc from the windows. Her platinum blonde hair was twisted into a chignon and she was impeccably dressed in a satin skirt and white button down, dispassionately taking in Leah in her harried state. She was white stone, stately, with blood red eyes that excused any notion of humanity.

“Who the fuck are you?” Leah snarled. Her frustration and confusion mixed with her growing realization that nothing and no one felt familiar. She reached out for Edward and her bond lay frightfully silent even as it writhed uncomfortably within her.

No, no, no.

“Charming,” the vampire replied. “I should know better than to expect manners from the likes of you.”

Leah growled and attempted to jump up, but her legs faltered in her weakness, and she landed in a pile on the stone. She coughed at the solid impact and her head swam as if she was nursing the mother of all hangovers.

“And to think I was sure you’d be grateful.” The vampire easily took hold of Leah’s arm and tossed her back on the mattress. Leah bounced, nonplussed as she struggled to work her limbs in her favor. They were unreliable, wobbly, and collapsing under her weight. “The guards wanted to fling you into the dungeon cells normally reserved for traitors awaiting judgment by the Three.”

“The Three? The three what?” Leah was floundering. If she didn’t regain control of her own senses and start asking instead of reacting, she knew she was in even more danger of remaining behind in this plot.  

The blonde vampire rolled her eyes and hastily folded Leah’s blankets, not even pretending to move at relative speed. Leah suddenly felt dizzy, as if her vision was ten steps beyond whatever her mind was processing.

She smashed her eyes shut and held out her hand in surrender. “Okay, stop. Please, stop moving. I just want to know where I am. Please. And why I can’t move.”

The vampire shrugged. “That’s new powers for you. That little shit Alec likes to do things untested, who knows how long until you get your bearings.”

“Alec, who was the….”

Hurry up Alec, the girl had said.

Leah shuddered in recognition and the events of her capture came flooding through the open tap of her mind, finally free of Alec’s dark encumbrance.

“They took me,” Leah stated in a daze, the wool in her brain unravelling. “They actually did it, they took me.”

Her head snapped up to the blonde who was quietly watching.

“I’m in Volterra.” It was not a question, but the vampire nodded.

“Unfortunately for you, yes,” she sniffed. “Know that I wanted nothing to do with this. This is unnecessary trouble. But Aro was quite keen you meet sooner rather than later.”

“Who even are you? Where am I being kept? And what does he want with me,” Leah immediately snapped, before her fear could choke her words into rubble. She didn’t want to waver in the face of her greatest nightmare; now was the time to learn all she could.

So I can escape. Escape before Edward arrives, he can’t be anywhere near here. They’ll take him, too.

The vampire let out a tinkling laugh, almost girlish. Leah was much too easy to read, even in her weary state.

“Don’t even think about trying to escape, it’s near impossible and we would kill you even if you managed to scale down your tower.”

Leah simmered in rage but checked it in favor of luring in more information.

Learn. Memorize what you can. Everyone is careless, they always give away more than they mean to.

She was in a tower. Likely isolated. Likely guarded, Not easily accessible. That was good to know.

“Okay,” she said, collecting her thoughts. “Okay, and you are?”

The vampire tsked in annoyance, as if she was above such introductions. “My name is Irina. Aro has unfortunately charged me with your care -.”

“You mean my imprisonment,” Leah scathingly interrupted.

Irina’s stare turned hard and cold. “You are lucky to be alive. They could have easily dispensed with you, rightfully so. Be glad you are only being kept, and as a guest no less,” she seethed.

Leah swallowed a few choice curses that were climbing up her throat.

“You’re right. My apologies. Irina.”

“We are not friends,” Irina proclaimed flatly. “You may know my name, but I am not at your beck and call. You will wait for me to collect you and at all other times shall remain in these quarters. I assure you they are more than comfortable.” She swept her arm around the room, and while Leah noted the décor was dated and fraying at the edges, her area was still lushly furnished. An ancient tapestry in threads of red and gold hung above the bed and Leah could make out a small alcove partially obscuring a stone basin.

“There is working plumbing in the bathroom in the corner to accommodate…your needs. Everything you need for bathing and cleaning will be through there,” Irina stated in displeasure.

“Thanks.” Leah cleared her throat, attempting to sound amenable. She was quick on the uptake that a hard ass attitude would not go far here, where she was defenseless against a palace full of enemies.

“As for what Aro wants.” Irina shook her head. “In my experience, it is never anything good.”

Leah sat puzzled once again. Irina was speaking her mind so freely, too uninhibited. She had no doubt the hidden vampire faces in the walls were picking up on every word.

“Aren’t you worried…they’ll hear you?”

“What?” Irina shrugged. “I say as much to his face, every day. He thinks it funny.”

She keenly eyed Leah. “What will not be funny is if you meet him in such a state. Then he might kill both of us.”

She moved to gather Leah up again as if she were rag doll, and Leah clambered away.

“I can do that myself. Thanks.”

“Wash yourself. Brush your hair. Take off those hideous pants and wear the clean undergarments and maroon dress hanging in the wardrobe,” Irina commanded in a clipped tone. “Aro does not abide unnecessary human odors…and non-human likewise. And he does not like messy ladies.”

With a sharp clap and an unceremonious about turn, Irina left and Leah leapt up to complete her tasks.

Flashes of Sue and Seth and Emily and Sam and Angela, even Jacob played in her mind and her resolve solidified deep in her bone.

She was here now. However much they had tried to prevent it, tried to ward off the inevitable, it had come to pass. And now she could only move forward.

If she could not fight, she could scheme her way through this. She would have to.

Edward loomed large above the others, his agonized face haunting her every waking second.

Edward, don’t worry. Aro, I’m coming for you.


__________

 

 

The dress may have been satin, but the patches lining it itched uncomfortably on Leah’s skin. In another world, she could have claimed it as vintage. In this one, it was the curious relic of some long-forgotten human and that did little to ease Leah’s anxiety.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she was led by Irina down a long hall of icy black marble, the darkness swallowing the ambient light from stone fixtures on the wall.

Leah felt a hysterical laugh bubble in her throat. With the stone walkways and the floor in her room, she had anticipated torchlight and dank corridors. The icy cold water in the stone basin and tub did little to convince her otherwise.

But their current corridor, the one she was traversing was sleek, sharp…modern even. She could feel tufts of heat rising from the floor and swirling around her toes; turned on for what she could only assume was for her benefit as she wore no shoes.

I guess Aro doesn’t mind bare feet. This is unreal.

Irina abruptly halted in front of giant oaken doors, carved with images of dragon snouts and heads of wolves with bared teeth. Some rudimentary coat of arms that predated anything Leah could imagine.

Irina knocked sharply and the doors reluctantly opened. Two vampires Leah could only describe as goon-like stood ceremoniously on either side of the entrance to a cavernous opening.

One sneered in something resembling Italian, but it sounded older, the lilt and dialect unfamiliar and jolting to Leah.

Irina pushed him aside and commanded the other.

“Felix, let Aro know I have delivered the girl to the atrium. I will wait until he or the others arrive.”

The one called Felix lasciviously eyed her over Irina’s shoulder and then rumbled with laughter.

“That is no girl. You have dressed up a dog,” he said in halting English, just so Leah might understand.

Leah fought to keep her composure and smoothed her expression, giving nothing away.

Easy. They want you to react. Easy.

“Go!” Irina shoved him and he sauntered off as she muttered a few curses in a Slavic tongue.

“They are truly dumber than the stone they stand upon.”

“We have an expression for that,” Leah offered quietly. “Dumber than rocks”

Jacob said Quil and Embry were dumber than rocks.

She ached at the memory, already so homesick. She would gladly have taken on the pack and their questions one hundred times over.

Irina did not reply but Leah noticed a ghost of a smile on her lips.

Leah had not had the time and opportunity to process it before, but new fears plagued her in the silence as they awaited Aro and what she could only assume was some council. Edward had mentioned brothers.

“Are…they…,” Leah voice tapered off, thick and strained with emotion. She started again. “Are they going to kill me? Just tell me now.”

She faced ahead, unwilling to give anyone the satisfaction of her tears.

“I doubt it,” Irina supplied nonchalantly, flicking her nail against the pad of her thumb, warding off an invisible insect. Or maybe just fidgeting in that small human manner Edward sometimes did. That boded well for Leah, and she filed it away with her other observations. “So much trouble just to kill you. It is likely something else.”

Leah swallowed against the dryness in her throat. All she had to do was stay alive.

Stay alive. And escape. Stay alive. Escape.

The mantra repeated in her mind, and she clung to it.

“Here,” Irina urged her; Leah thought fractionally softer than she had been previously. “Come to the center of the room so they do not need to ask you to approach. They will consider it disrespectful.”

Leah numbly observed that in contrast to the great corridor, this atrium was encased in solid white marble with a raised wooden dais presiding over the rest of the room. On it sat three large carved chairs, one more prominently featured and flanked by the others. Ornate, steepled windows with heavy leather curtains drawn back in the dusk, ran the length of the walls. Leah merely viewed more of that scalloped brown tile that was stacked outside her own tower window, along with the purple outlines of some far-off hills on the horizon.

Also, unlike in the corridor, there were torches; the flames casting shadows which flickered whimsically in their wake.

Here’s your bloody medieval nightmare.

She was weighing the success of flinging herself out the nearest open window and onto the lower shelf of a secondary roof when ebony doors leading outward onto the dais slammed open. The boom echoed in the empty chamber.

No one said a word. Even the goons stood eerily silent, their loutish heads bowed submissively.

Leah straightened her spine further. She would never bow.

As if floating, a pale figure emerged, enrobed in the deepest black. He folded himself onto one of the lesser chairs. His black hair was peppered with gray, but his face seemed younger. Or had been at one point. The yellowish tint of his skin and fragile texture made it seem as if he were a child’s paper doll, kept too long in the dark.

He remained silent, his eyes glossing in disinterest over Leah and then motioning for Irina to step away. She bowed and obeyed, leaving Leah to hold the center of the room on her own.

After a few moments, the room was overcome with that same decaying fruit smell, the one Irina carried, but somehow more potent.

What is tha-?

“Marcus, did you greet our guest?” a silvery, sinister voice questioned from behind her. Leah fought down horror, tried to slow the racing of her heart as every hair on her body stood on end and cold air wafted onto her back and neck. She choked down her disgust at the scent and breathed through her mouth.

The glittering cloud racing down the mountain, The hand in the dark. The voice that haunted Edward’s waking dreams.

Aro, it seemed, had wanted to observe her up close.

A slim pale hand with long, crooked nails gently brushed her hair off her shoulder and strap of her dress and settled there. Leah’s skin burst into an unpleasant cascade of goosebumps.

“Are you chilled, Leah Clearwater? I was under the impression wolves were naturally imbued with warmth.”

Leah was stunned, speechless. Of course, he knew her name, but it still hadn’t quite prepared her for his familiarity. His…knowledge over who she was.

It took a few moments for her to recover and find her voice, the figure behind her waiting in amused patience for her reply. She could feel his razor-sharp smile on her back.

“Am I speaking to Aro of the Volturi?” she asked shakily, hating the quiver in her voice. But at least she was speaking. “I beg your pardon, if I misspoke.”

“Oh,” Aro murmured in delight. His English was perfect, just the faintest hint of an indefinable accent coloring his words. “Aren’t you lovely? Such disgusting rumors flooding the halls of my palazzo, of your appearance and manner. And here I find you quite the beauty instead.”

Leah did not reply, rooted to the spot where she stood. She recalled the sickening memory of reading about Columbus and his displays of New World wealth in European courts. Wealth that was partially comprised of enslaved men, women, and children for all those white hands to fawn over. To take apart.

But she wouldn’t wince or move away. She couldn’t.

Aro seemed to grow restless at her silence, the seductive brush of his fingers unnerving her as he walked past and released her, swishing in robes of crimson. They were of the same height, but he exuded power so old Leah felt as if she were a child again.  

His hair was wrapped half in a plait, with the rest falling over his shoulders, and he swung it dramatically as he turned to face her. His skin was the same faded paper of his duller counterpart, but his wine tinted eyes shone with vigor and passion. This was a man excited, who had been gifted the rare treasure he coveted most.

And Leah realized with despair that she was it.

He might have been handsome once, his features were comely enough, but he truly came alive when he smiled. Something he seemed fond of as his eyes roved over her and dissected everything they could see.

He finally spoke again, welcoming her with wide arms.

“Yes, you are correct in your assumption. I am Aro. I am glad the Cullens educated you in some of our ways, at least.” He gestured to the vampire on the dais. “And that is my brother, Marcus. Forgive him, he does not typically speak and has little interest in our encounter today.”

Marcus seemingly confirmed that with his blank stare.

Leah swallowed at this, gathering courage. Things had proceeded civilly thus far and she had to try, helpless as she was.

“Then may I put forward; I think there has been a mistake.” Leah paused. “I am not a vampire, I do not wish you any harm, and I would like to go home. Please.”

Aro clapped his hands and the doors behind her thudded shut. She jumped at the noise.

“But you’ve just arrived.” Aro backed away. He grinned, goading her into a more desperate appeal, more drastic measures. “And I promise you this is no mistake.”

She refused to bite.

“Then can I ask what I’m doing here?” she ground out.

“Oh, I’ve been far too curious over you for quite some time, Ms. Clearwater. When my scouts informed me that one Edward Cullen was rejoining his clan, it piqued my interest. And, you, my dear were quite the unexpected jewel.” His eyes glinted with mockery and Leah tamped down her anger once again.

“You’ve been watching the Cullens?”

“It would be quite remiss of me not to occasionally check in on the Cullens. They are a gifted clan…one growing larger by the day. I care for their wellbeing and that they are not compromising themselves in any way. It would be a shame if any harm were to befall them,” he simpered.

Leah fought the urge to roll her eyes. He wasn’t even attempting to hide any underlying agenda.

She piped up again, her courage waxing and waning with his devilish words.

“Then…then you would know that Edward wouldn’t be too happy about this,” she reasoned. This was so blatantly a power play, a show of authority to the Cullens that the Volturi would not be undermined or excluded in any way. “He’ll be upset that he didn’t know where I was being taken.”

“Oh, nonsense.” Aro waved dismissively. “I give more credit to Edward than that. He’s a vampire with exceptional intelligence, he’ll know exactly where you are. And that you’re being treated with the upmost care and respect.”

Aro’s expression flashed with contempt towards Irina. “She has been made comfortable has she not, ptichka?”

Before Irina answered, Leah nodded stiffly, wishing to assert any agency she had. “Irina has been very helpful and the room is beautiful. Thank you.”

“Irina has an overt fondess for the Cullens,” Aro said. “As I do of course, Carlisle and I are old friends. But you must know, to keep the peace amongst various clans, I must never be seen to play favorites.”

His eyes flashed again. “And I am slightly hurt that a human pet so unique as yourself was never brought to my attention. But human is likely not the right word.”

Leah’s muscles tightened with the effort of not fleeing.

Stay. Stay and figure him out. He’s just a man.

“My apologies. The thing that happened…us as mates, it was sudden. We were left to figure it out on our own and we meant no offense.” Leah swallowed. “We just want to be together. At home.”

Aro turned and slowly began his ascent up the dais, away from her, But he kept up his line of inquiry.  

“Home? What is home?” Aro posited. ‘Would that be that dreary house Carlisle built all those years ago? Or some piece of land farther out…the reservation, perhaps?

Leah froze, stricken by his question. He truly knew everything, and no one was safe.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please, the reservation has nothing to do with this. I will do anything, just please leave them alone.”

Aro seemed taken aback at her words, as if she were unfairly accusing him of something he wouldn’t even consider.

But she knew better.

“My dear, you are quite mistaken. I don’t wish to do anything but learn more about you. You have quite the bloodline and I only want to understand the nature of your…powers, for lack of a better word.”

Leah closed her eyes and wiped her clammy palms on her dress. It seemed the truth would be all she could rely on in this moment. And she hoped it would be enough.

“Tell me, was this always an option for you and your people? To shift into other creatures?”

“How did you know?” she shot back, delaying her answer. She calculated a timeline and figured they must have been watching the Cullens, skulking in the shadows, for quite some time.

“Oh,” Aro scoffed. “You may not remember, but I was in America not a decade ago. That unusual scent, the one the Cullens so skillfully ignored, well it intrigued me. But I thought it rude to pursue until I completed my own research.”

You mean fucking spy. On everyone.

She knew he wouldn’t have been brazen enough to approach La Push, but the legends were accessible for anyone with interest. Add a willingness to suspend belief over the mystical aspects, which would not be so difficult for a creature of the night, and she may as well have handed over her diary.

“So.” He clasped his hands gleefully. “Your tribe…have they always…well…?”

“I don’t know,” she choked out. “I don’t know, it was the result of something that happened long before I was born. It just happened to me and I learned to live with it.”

“And was it…is it always the form of a wolf you tend to possess?” Aro was seated now, leaning into her explanations. Marcus stared off at a point beyond Leah, immune to the scene playing out around him.

“I’ve never tried to be anything else,” Leah said.

“Wolves are a totem for you and your tribe, yes? Protectors and guides? Aro asked.

Leah nodded hesitantly.

“How interesting.” He tented his fingers over his mouth, studying her as if she had revealed a valuable, hidden truth. “So very telling that you are a wolf and we hold them in such high regard, savage beasts though they may be.”

Leah bit down on her tongue. There was no arguing with him, he could dispose of her too easily.

“My brothers and I, we were of the Etruscan people, in our own sovereign nation of Etruria. Before the brutish Romans destroyed our way of life and any bit of culture they could find, we were an important civilization. Advanced and fierce in our knowledge.” Leah focused on her breathing, she just needed to humor him until she could formulate a better plan. “Wolves were our family token, I had chiseled a she-wolf into the metal of my helmet in fact, before my final battle as a human.” He chuckled. “Strange what one remembers before the moment of their ascendance.”

Leah couldn’t help herself. “Ascendance?”

He gave her an enigmatic smile. “To be a vampire is to ascend above all else, is it not?”

Leah said nothing.

“But enough of that,” he said casually. “I am endlessly curious about you, Ms. Clearwater. Would it be out of the realm of possibility for a …demonstration?”

He gestured for her step forward, as if she were about to do a perform a dance or a song or some artistic novelty that would capture the room. As if it were nothing to transform into her wolf and reveal her vulnerabilities in the process.

She thought she might feign sickness, just to avoid the violation. But she squared her shoulders instead.

“It doesn’t work on command…like that. I’m not in the right frame of mind,” she said through clenched teeth.

Aro’s incisive gaze roamed her once again and she knew he felt the lie. But he didn’t press her.

“Of course, you must be quite fatigued after your trip.”

My abduction.

“I do forget how much rest is required of your sort. Human and the like.”

Leah forced herself to smile. “I wouldn’t say no to a nap right now. And some food and water if you have it.”

Aro eyes widened in surprise, possibly at her boldness. But she knew she needed to maintain her strength if she was going to get out of this intact. She could trust them with rations at least; she instinctively knew they wanted her alive, and wouldn’t compromise her well-being until she could give them what they wanted. She had a sliver of leverage she could use to her advantage.

 “Why, yes, of course, Irina will bring you something appropriate. I’m displeased this wasn’t attended to before.”

“She dropped her breakfast,” Irina deadpanned.

Aro waved her away. “Ptichka, you are more familiar with these human vagaries. Please do not burden me.”

Irina rolled her eyes and stepped out of the room. As she passed, she threw Leah a look that conveyed Leah had already pushed the boundaries with her asks of Aro and should not say much else.

 Leah did the one thing she had promised she wouldn’t. She bowed her head.

“Thank you…Aro.”

His annoyance eased with her gratitude.

“You are quite welcome. Since you will be a guest for quite some time, it is imperative this place begin to feel like home.”

Leah fought down her frustration at this comment.

“Of course.”

“And do not fret over your dear Edward.” There was a hint of gleeful malice in his eyes; mischievous anticipation over her reaction to what he would say next. “He will join us soon enough; he is already at the foot of this palace attempting to negotiate access inside.”

Aro tipped his head in interest, listening to a distant sound.

“He is here right now, your voice has sent him into quite a frenzy. This will unfortunately cost him another few days, he is being quite unreasonable.”

Leah couldn’t hide how his words sliced her apart; barbed arrows through her heart at the thought of Edward fighting to get to her. Putting himself in the path of this deranged collector with his efforts.

She knew he would come, even as she hoped against hope he would not.

But she quickly smoothed over her expression; gentle waves lapping at the sand instead of the storm brewing inside her.

“Could I…,” she began.

“You may not see him until we have had some time to be acquainted,” Aro clipped out. “You will survive. Then I will attend to business with Edward.” His face softened, realizing he had shown too much of his hand. “I have nothing but the highest regard for your keeper…and his gifts.”

Leah turned to stone and inwardly fumed at Aro’s games. But she let go, her pride easily collapsing as she mentally screamed out in desperation and flung her thoughts with all the strength she could muster.

Edward. I love you. Please don’t do anything stupid. It will only take longer. I love you so much, but I’m okay. We need to be calm. Trust me.

She heard the faintest sound in the distance. Edward was yelling her name and the wind was gently carrying his voice through the window.

Her senses had recovered to the point that she could almost smell him. She let it wash over her.

A few days. Just a few days. I’m okay.

He seemed to calm down at her thoughts and Leah heard little else after.

“You may return to your room,” Aro said, boredom creeping into the façade of cloying civility he had maintained to that point. Edward’s aggression seemed to have spoiled his mood; had encroached on the bizarre play-acting of guest and host Leah and Aro had upheld.

Leah bowed again. “Thank you. Good night, Aro.”

“Pleasant evening, Ms. Clearwater,” he said in distraction as he began to converse rapidly with Marcus, his lips forming words too fast for her to overhear.

Well, converse may have been too strong a word as their discussion was entirely one sided. Marcus stared ahead, bored as ever.

Leah was taken away by another goon, who sneered as he mockingly gestured for her to walk ahead of him. She didn’t glance behind her for the entire march back to her rooms and slammed the door shut once she entered, not addressing the guard.

Falling to her hands and knees on the carpet, she began to hyperventilate, great gasping sobs…over what entirely, she could not say.

Perhaps it was that she had faced a demon in the flesh and survived. Or that the very fabric of her being was torn apart at her separation, within reach of Edward. Or that the Volturi knew about La Push, and the lives of every person she had ever loved hung in the balance.

But then she stopped, pushed away her fear. It was indulgent to cry. She needed to calm down, to start planning.

I need to find a way out. I need to find -.

The door opened and Irina arrived with a tray carrying a sandwich with crusty bread neatly cut down the middle and a bottle of water. Leah’s stomach growled and she attempted not to pounce on it.

“Eat,” Irina commanded. “I can hear your hunger pangs down the hallway. They will annoy everyone if you don’t eat.”

Leah was genuinely thankful, even at her abrasive tone. She felt a degree of comfort at Irina’s presence. According to Aro, she had a soft spot for the Cullens.

“Thanks for this. I’m starving.”

Irina shrugged. “Your kind are weak. Even if you are a wolf.”

Leah feigned nonchalance as she took a bit and slowly chewed, turning over questions in her head.

“So how long have you been here?”

Irina busied herself with refolding a blanket Leah had never used and Leah almost smiled at the action.

Irina wanted to stay. Despite her borderline hostility, she wanted to stay and possibly talk. It was more than Leah could ask for.

“Many years. Longer than you have even been alive.”

“Wow,” Leah said.

“Yes, wow. You have no idea how many of your lives mine could consume.” She threw the blanket askance onto a dusty armchair.

“I don’t doubt it.” I bet she’s almost as old as Carlisle. Ask her about him. “So, you must know the Cullens pretty well. Carlisle used to live around here, I think.”

Irina laughed haughtily, amused by Leah’s assumed familiarity.

“Carlisle Cullen was mine and my sisters’ mentor. You think you know anything about him, you know nothing at all,” she sneered.

“I would love to know more.”

“I’m sure you would. He was like family to me at one time. Before my mother ruined us and I myself was left to pick up the pieces. Literally.”

“Pieces?” Leah asked. “I don’t follow.”

Irina looked away, but Leah observed plainly the pain that memory evoked.  

“My family is dead. It was my mother’s fault. I was lucky enough to be left alive, and for one of my sisters to be allowed to escape. She knew nothing of the idiocy my mother had been hiding, and I am now here in exchange for Tatiana’s freedom. It is a small cost; one I am honored to pay.”

Leah sat back, flabbergasted. “Tatiana? Like Tanya from Alaska, the Cullen’s friend?”

Irina snapped back towards Leah. “You know Tatiana? You have seen her?”

For all her frostiness, she was eager for any information on this subject from Leah.

“Yes,” Leah nodded. “Just recently, actually. Yeah, she’s wonderful. She has a mate -.”

“Garrett, yes?” Irina interrupted.

“Mhm, Garrett. They’re great together, she seems beyond happy and she looks good.” Good was an understatement, ethereal was more like it.

Irina settled daintily onto a corner of the bed.

“I understood this to be true already. It is why I am here, for her to be happy. Even if she does not know I still walk this earth.”

Leah comprehended that her focus had been a little too narrow; the Volturi’s savagery did not begin and end with just the Cullens.

“I’m sorry you have to be apart,” Leah genuinely stated. “That is cruel.”

“It is not,” Irene cut in. “I agreed to it.” She gestured to Leah to not say another word on the matter.

Leah nodded in understanding, and she ate in silence for another few moments until another unbidden observation popped up in her mind.

“Three chairs,” she murmured.

“What?” Irina replied.

“There were three chairs in the room. You called them the Three.” Irina raised an eyebrow. “Aro and Marcus, and there should be a third. Am I right?”

“Caius,” Irina abruptly stated. She stood up again, her rigid demeanor reinstated. “He is dead.”

Leah blinked. “Oh. How?”

“Aro killed him,” Irina replied curtly, her heels clicking on the stone of the floor as Leah’s eyes bulged.

“What, why?”

Irina paused and glowered at her. “Does he need a reason? Don’t be impertinent.”

Leah put up her hands.

“I’m really not. I’m just trying to understand what I’ve walked into here…,”

“It is not for you to understand. Stop asking meaningless questions.”

Leah pushed back forcefully, her patience finally beginning to fray in her exhaustion. “I think I deserve some answers. I’ve been taken and separated from my mate and you’re the only one who seems to even tolerate me, and I think you want to help-.”

“You are mistaken if you think I will help you.” Leah could have imagined it, but Irina’s words almost sounded like pleas. As if she was saying not to expect anything more from her unless they both wanted to experience the wrath of Aro.

Leak shook her head. “I don’t believe that.”

Irina eyed her warily. “Do not play games with me, wolf. You may be Edward’s pet, but here Aro’s word is final, above all else. Do not make it worse for yourself.”

Leah thought of Edward pacing frantically on the cobblestones outside, restrained by some Volturi lackey and felt close to breaking.

“I just…I just want to get word to Edward that I’m okay.”

“He knows. He is that last one you need to worry about.”

Irina scooped up her tray, leaving the water, and stomped towards the door, not hiding her annoyance. Both at herself and Leah.

She swiveled one last time before slamming the door closed.

“You have pushed your luck today. It will not be so easy next time. With me or with Aro. Sleep, because that is the only respite you will have. What Aro wants, he will get. There is no fighting it.

“But -.”

“Sleep!” And with that, Leah was left in silent commune with the only one who could hear, the only one reaching for her thoughts. She grappled with what to tell him, how to connect when everything seemed so lost.

Edward, sing me something. Sing me some Mildred Bailey.

Beyond the brown stones, Leah swore she heard the melodious hum of his voice drifting through the air as she laid her head down on her pillow.

She slept.


 

Notes:

Oh no, what the Volturi want, they get.
Please favorite/comment/review. I promise to update a little quicker this time, summer got its claws in me.