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Outlawed

Summary:

The year is 1870 and after having fought in the civil war, Rick Grimes is now a deputy in Black River. He is addicted to opium, and occasionally self harms...still grieving the death of his wife, son, and unborn child he chases the ghost of the man responsible

Negan is the leader of the Saviors, a well known outlaw gang in the area that often murder, rob stagecoaches and steal cattle. He has a big secret he's keeping from his gang....... he has an attraction for a certain deputy

 

Notes:

During the American Civil War, opiates were the most effective painkillers available to military surgeons. They were also used to treat diarrhea, muscle spasms of amputees, gangrene, dysentery inflammation from gunshot wounds, and to sedate agitated troops.

The American Civil War is the first American war with documented instances of drug addiction. Morphine was the drug of this war. One of the Union officers supposedly made his command members drink opium daily as a preventative for dysentery

Soldiers left the war addicted to morphine and continued to use it at home, where it was readily available. An estimated 400,000 soldiers returned home addicted to morphine. For this reason, morphine addiction was known then as “Soldier’s Disease.

Opium in its raw form can be drunk, swallowed or smoked, some process it further to obtain heroin. Opium eating, in general, refers to swallowing it or drinking it after it is dissolved in a variety of liquids

 

I've been DYING to write a cowboy/ rick/Negan fic for some time now..having fallen in love with Wanted Hearts an AWESOME fic written by the wonderful RHONU AND THERICKYGRIMES on here

Chapter Text

Rick's eyes opened slowly from sleep, as the sun belted through a small crack in the tent opening, he furrowed his brows and rolled on his side placing a kiss on Negan's shoulder

 

 

" Morning"  he  whispered, his voice horse from sleep

 

 

Negan stirred slightly

 

 

 

" Good morning  " he  said with his eyes still shut, his voice  husky with sleep 

 

 

Rick sat up his elbow, tilting Negan's face towards his and placing a chaste kiss on his lips, pulling away slightly

 

 

Negan smirked and opened his eyes, looking straight at Rick and grinning

 

 

"How is it even possible that you look so fucking beautiful this early in the morning grimes ? '' he grinned showing his perfect set of white teeth

 

 

He brought a hand up and moved a stray curl out of Rick's face and put it behind his ear, tenderly, revealing the  scar on Rick's forehead, the one he hated, the one he always tried to cover with his  mop of curls

 

 

"every fucking inch of you is god damn beautiful " he purred running a thumb over the scar and looking back at Rick with hooded eyes

 

 

Rick pulled away from his touch and furrowed his brows

 

 

"why you gotta fuss over that fucking thing every damn time we are together..you know I fucking hate it and what it stands for " he spat and sat up in the small cot they were sharing, turning his back on Negan and putting his feet on the floor

 

 

" hey" Negan touched his back tenderly

 

 

Rick sighed loudly and ran a tired hand down his face

 

 

"I'd better get packed up ..Hershel is expecting me back this morning... " he said flatly and picked up his underwear off the floor looking at it bunched in his hands

 

 

Negan sat up and put his chin on Rick's shoulder, his hands wrapped around his waist

 

 

"...surely you can stay another night ?? '' he purred in Rick's ear

 

 

'' I ......I cant" Rick said, mouth parted slightly as Negan's hand trailed down his naked torso and landed on his cock

 

 

"Come on deputy...I can make you feel good " he whispered   as he started to stroke Rick's length

 

 

"you're so fucking sexy Grimes....I just wanna" Negan mumbled, as he placed kisses along the shell of Ricks's ear

 

 

Rick tilted his neck slightly to give Negan more access

 

 

Negan's strokes became faster as Rick's dick jumped in his hand,  letting out a soft moan

 

 

"come here" Negan smirked and pulled the deputy back down onto the cot with him

 

 

Negan crashed his lips to Rick's before he knew what was happening and pushed his tongue in his mouth, as he accepted

 

 

Negan got on top of Rick kicking his legs apart with his knee, getting settled between his legs more comfortably, his hands trailed down the side of his body and lifted one of his legs up and over his back. Their erections rubbed together and the friction sent Rick's head flying back on the pillow, mouth parted slightly, eyes closed

 

 

Negan began to attack Rick's neck with kisses and trailed down to his collarbone and bit down hard into his skin

 

 

Rick's eyes shot open, but before he could protest Negan grabbed both their hard cocks in his hand and twisted his wrist

 

 

Rick let out a soft moan as Negan started to stroke their cocks slowly, running his thumb over the wet slits collecting the pre cum and slicking them both up 

 

 

 he hummed into Rick's neck as he started jerking both of  them off at an agonizingly slow pace

 

 

Negan was now propped up on his elbow while he stroked their lengths in unison, watching Rick's beautiful face react to the friction

 

 

His eyes were closed, mouth open  slightly, his sweaty curls clung to his forehead..... fuck he was beautiful

 

 

Rick seemed to sense Negan was staring at him and he opened his eyes, furrowing his brows

 

 

"stop gawking at me, you know I fucking hate  " Rick pouted

 

 

Negan grinned his wolf grin and purposely ran a thumb over their slits

 

 

Rick's head flew back exposing his neck which Negan took advantage of and bit down hard

 

 

 Rick's eyes flashed open as Negan's teeth were no doubt leaving a large mark, that would soon turn a purple tinge and  would be hard to hide

 

 

"stop fucking marking me up will you " Rick spat

 

 

Negan pulled back smirking

 

 

"I wanna make sure everyone knows who you belong to" He said possessively, eyes filled with lust

 

 

Rick pulled Negan down to his lips by the back of his neck he stuck his tongue in his mouth

 

 

"fuck me...please"  the younger man  whimpered  against his lips

 

 

"whatever my deputy wants" Negan hummed

 

 

he let go of their dicks and sat to the side as Rick rolled over, exposing his perfect tight ass to the older man

 

 

Negan ran his hands over the two perfect globes and smacked one, leaving a red handprint

 

 

he placed a kiss over the red mark and did the same to the other cheek

 

 

Rick hissed,  his head in the pillow

 

 

Negan put both hands on either side of Rick, steadying himself on his strong arms, and looked him over, tilting his head, an evil smirk on his face

 

 

he spread Rick's ass apart and let some spit drop on his opening and spread it around with his finger, his eyes flashed up to Rick and he inserted his finger

 

 

Rick's hands clenched the sides of the pillow and he gritted his teeth at the burn

 

 

''spit is shit... sorry baby"   Negan  said softly

 

 

he worked his finger in and out  and added another, as  Rick wiggled and moaned underneath  him

 

 

He was still quite open from  their previous night's antics, so he didnt need much prepping 

 

 

Negan pounded his fingers in and out  at a relentless pace, he let another blob of saliva drop on Rick's glorious hole as he watched his fingers disappear and reappear

 

 

"you ready ?? " Negan huffed out

 

 

Rick simply nodded and stuck his ass up in the air slightly

 

 

Negan loved when he did that, he was so needy when they were alone

 

 

Rick was always so stoic in front of everyone else, always carried so much on his shoulders, here with Negan he let go and Negan loved to be the one to make him unravel and forget everything, even for just those few days they had together

 

 

Negan pulled his fingers out and pulled Rick's hips up off the bed and  settled on his knees, lining himself up, pushing the head of his dick in slowly

 

 

Rick hissed and turned his head back to the pillow, making his knuckles go white from grabbing it so tight

 

 

"fuckk Rick  baby, so tight" Negan hissed as he pushed past the tight muscle

 

 

he went in slow,  running a hand down Rick's spine gently, he stilled when he was fully seated  and his eyes flicked up to Rick, lazily

 

 

" you good ?? '' he said quietly

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

"Rick ?? "

 

 

"give me a sec " Rick said,  as his hands loosened on the pillow and he felt more comfortable

 

 

"ok " he huffed

 

 

Negan started to pull out slowly and push back in 

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth, spit was really shit but he loved the burn, he felt alive

 

 

Negan kept up the slow pace and Rick got more comfortable

 

 

'' harder"  he whispered

 

 

Negan picked up the pace slightly, he grabbed Rick's hips and adjusted the angle, slamming into the deputy  deeper than before and he moaned in pleasure

 

 

"you like that Grimes ?? " Negan grinned when he pulled a loud moan out of Rick

 

 

Rick felt a blush rise up his neck and was silent

 

 

Negan thrust in hard to get an answer out of him

 

 

"speak when you're spoken to Grimes" Negan yelled, authority dripping off his tongue

 

 

Rick loved it when Negan took control

 

 

"yyesss"  he moaned between thrusts

 

 

Negan stuck his tongue between his teeth as he watched Rick squirm and moan underneath him

 

 

He grabbed Rick's hips, hard enough to bruise and lifted a leg up so he was on one knee now, and started thrusting harder and faster

 

 

Rick tried to put his ass higher in the air as Negan laughed

 

 

"fucking whore ain't ya Grimes, huh...making you fucking squirm on my dick" Negan hit the side of Rick's ass and he moaned out louder

 

 

he couldn't manage a response to Negan's smart mouth as he was being fucked into the cot

 

 

He propped himself up on his elbows as Negan slammed into his prostate over and over again

 

 

Rick's neglected cock was crying out for attention, dripping with pre cum, he grabbed  it and gave it a few long strokes

 

 

''nnnegan'' he moaned out

 

 

"I know baby, I got ya" Negan purred

 

 

if it was possible,negan thrust harder and faster, he had some fucking stamina for a 45 year old

 

 

Rick was so close, his whole body was alight with pleasure, and he felt that burn in his stomach about to boil over, as he stroked his dick

 

 

"nnegan im coming' he screamed out in pure pleasure

 

 

his whole body jerked as he came in his hand and all over the cot

 

 

Negan didnt give up his relentless onslaught and Rick felt oversensitive,  his body felt like it was being electrocuted each time Negan's dick hit his prostate

 

 

"negan...I can't "  he whimpered

 

 

"I'm so close Rick baby, hold on" the older man gritted through his teeth

 

 

he grabbed Rick's hips ,roughly

 

 

"fuuuckking hell" he yelled

 

 

Rick felt the warmth run through him and he smiled to himself

 

 

the tent was filled with heavy breathing as both men came down from their orgasms

 

 

Negan pulled out and flopped down on the cot next to Rick, the back of his hand lay over his sweaty forehead, looking up at  the cloth fabric of the roof of the tent, a stupid grin on his face

 

 

Rick looked at him, still laying on his stomach and smiled

 

 

Negan glanced over at him

 

 

"wouldn't mind fucking you in an actual bed, just once..I'm getting too old for this shit " Negan grinned his stupid wolf grin

 

 

after a few minutes of laying in his own cum, Rick's head began to pound  and he closed his eyes tightly

 

 

he sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the cot, and rubbed his hand down his face

 

 

 he looked at his hand, it was shaking......he needed a fix

 

 

He glanced over to his bag laying in the corner of the tent, He stood up, picked up his discarded underwear off the floor, pulled them on, and walked over to his bag

 

 

he knelt down and began  rummaging through it looking for the pills he had come to depend on

 

 

"what's the hurry, Grimes ?? "  Negan smirked from the cot leaning on his elbow

 

 

''told you..... Hershel is expecting me '' he didn't turn around as his hand landed on the bottle of pills and he picked it up, staring at it

 

 

"pfft fucking Hershel...you know he arrested Merle again the other day ?? " Negan said, a spiteful  tone in his voice

 

 

"Merle is a fucking menace to society, he deserves more than locking up " Rick mumbled, putting the pills back in his bag and grabbing a clean shirt and pants out of his bag  and began getting dressed

 

 

"that's one of my best men you're talking about deputy" Negan's eyes roamed over Rick's body momentarily as he sat up and began looking on the floor for his underwear

 

 

Rick dressed quickly and threw his bag over his shoulder

 

 

"want some coffee before I go.....??  " he looked at his pocket watch , furrowing his brows at the lecture he was sure to get from Hershel for being late

 

 

"well sorry for making the  great deputy fucking  Grimes late " Negan spat

 

 

Rick looked over to him and he was grinning his stupid wolf grin, sitting on the edge of the cot still naked

 

 

Rick walked over to him slowly, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips, pulling back as their eyes met

 


An unusual silence fell between them, it was always this way whenever they parted

 

 

Rick averted his eyes and stood up straight, as his migraine screamed at him from within his head

 

 

He smiled weakly at Negan and left the tent

 

 

Rick got his horse saddled up and ready to ride, and then got the small fire going after the one last night had long gone out, a pot of coffee brewing over it

 

 

He sat down on a log, dropping his leather satchel by his feet, and pulled the bottle of pills out spilling several onto his palm, He threw them into his mouth followed by a mouthful of water from his canteen

 

 

"you still taking those fucking things  ??  " Negan caught Rick off guard and he spat some water out of his mouth onto the dry dirt beneath his feet

 

 

Negan was dressed in his regular all black attire, with a flare of color around his neck in the form of a red bandana, a cigarette hanging loosely out of his mouth, a dark look in his eyes

 

 

Rick glared up at him, wiping the water off his mouth with the back of his hand

 

 

"coffee's ready " he looked at the fire, avoiding Negan's intense gaze

 

 

After what felt like hours Negan sat down beside him on a log and struck his match on it, lighting the cigarette behind his hand covering it from any intruding wind, he flicked the match into the fire and inhaled a large amount of smoke, closing his eyes, savoring it

 

 

he blew a large cloud of smoke out and his eyes flicked to Rick who was now pouring the coffee into two rusty looking mugs

 

 

"how many you take a day now....?? '' Negan questioned, furrowing his brows

 

 

Rick handed him the mug, finally meeting Negan's intense hazel eyes that were looking at him like he was broken

 

 

"It doesn't concern you ok..don't worry about it" he looked back at the fire, blowing on his hot coffee, feeling Negan's eyes boring into him

 

 

"does the good Sherrif Greene know you're jacked up to your eyeballs on opium ???...how are you supposed to protect and serve the fine assholes of Black River?? '' Negan spat

 

 

Rick  glared at Negan

 

 

"like that matters to you !!... you're the assholes I have to protect them from"  He spat  

 

 

Negan's face twitched slightly as his eyes narrowed, a smirk swept across his face and he burst out laughing

 

 

"yeah, you have a point there Grimes" he smiled and sipped his coffee holding his cigarette in his free hand

 

 

Rick drank the last remaining drop of coffee from his mug and stood up, walking back over to his horse and grabbing his holster off his bedroll

 

 

he put it around his waist, doing it up, and placed his most prized possession...his machete in its rightful place on his hip, he put his gun on the other side of the holster and put his hat on, pulling some curls out from underneath it to hide his scar

 

 

"You forgot the most important thing "  Negan was now standing right next to him

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at him wondering what the hell he was talking about

 

 

Negan hands came up to the pocket of Rick's shirt and he looked down at it dumbfounded

 

 

He was pinning Rick's deputy badge onto his shirt, The  silver shining  brightly in the mid-morning sun

 

 

"that's better..now you are ready to go play cowboys " Negan winked

 

 

Rick smiled at him

 

 

 Negan grabbed the back of Rick's neck pulling him into a hasty, messy kiss, his hands trailing down to Rick's ass and giving it a squeeze

 

 

Rick smiled into the kiss and pulled back

 

 

"I better go, before Hershel gets worried " he smiled weakly 

 

 

"fuck..... what would the old man do if he found out his son in law was getting fucked weekly by big bad Negan smith...leader of the saviors" Negan mocked spitefully

 

 

Rick stepped back from Negan, his words sounding bitter

 

 

"you're an asshole sometimes you know that?'' he  spat and climbed into the saddle

 

 

"only sometimes...fuck don't tell the boys..will ruin my reputation of being a fucking gentleman" Negan stuck his tongue out  between his teeth, raising his eyebrows

 

 

Rick smiled slightly and leaned down from his horse, kissing Negan on the lips, tenderly

 

 

 

 Negan ran a thumb down Rick's face and pulled back slightly

 

 

"ill be seeing you soon deputy" Negan whispered onto his lips

 

 

Rick sat back up in the saddle, adjusting his hat

 

 

"stay out of trouble" he warned playfully

 

 

"me  !!...... always" Negan smirked up at him

 

 

Rick looked down at Negan for a second, wishing he could stay with the man a little while longer

 

 

 he shook himself out of his daze and squeezed his thighs together making his horse start walking

 

 

 He turned in his saddle and looked at Negan who winked at him, cigarette back in his mouth, a dejected look on his face

 

 

 Rick turned back to the front and clicked his tongue making his horse start a fast trot..riding toward town

Chapter Text

Rick looked up at the blazing sun and pulled his hat down over his eyes as far as it could go, random curls flying out at every angle. He ran a hand along his horse Boots mane as he galloped at a steady pace. Boots was named by Rick's son Carl who was 8 at the time, he was a completely black quarter horse that had white hair hanging over his hooves making him look like he was wearing boots. Rick's face twisted when he remembered the night his family were slaughtered

 

 

Lori was pregnant at the time when one night the family was attacked on their way home from town by a group of men who came out of the darkness jumping onto their wagon

 

 

after struggling with one of the men Rick was shot in the head and thrown from the wagon left for dead

 

 

 

When he came to he was bleeding from the forehead and saw the wagon stood still, on the road just up ahead of him

 

 

 

 

he crawled on all fours in agony to discover his wife and son dead inside

 

 

 

 

Lori was naked from the waist down and so was carl, they both had their throats slashed

 

 

Rick would never in his life forget what their pale faces looked like that night

 

 

 

 He still often had nightmares about their dead bodies

 

 

He would never forget the man's face that shot him, his brown eyes were etched in his memories and nightmares

 

 

The doctor had informed Rick that both Lori and carl had been raped before they died and Lori was carrying a daughter

 

 

 Lori wore a necklace, that was a gift from her father Hershel that she never took off,it was missing from her body after that night

 

 

The gang also left behind a knife that Rick kept  and often would cut himself when he was high because he blamed himself for not protecting them

 

 

 

Rick became obsessed with finding the gang and bringing them to justice,it quickly developed into a sick addiction. Whenever he got wind of a similar incident in another town he would pack up his bedroll and ride boots off

 

 

he would go out for weeks at a time, his family wouldn't hear from him until he came back empty handed. He would then go on a drug fueled bender for a few days after his return

 

 

 

His family knew he had an addiction,but he wouldn't accept help or acknowledge he had a problem. Hershel Greene was Lori's father and Black River's sheriff,Rick's boss

 

 

 

His wife Annette had two other daughters Maggie and Beth and they all live together just outside of town in a beautiful cottage style farmhouse with a barn, horses and cattle

 

 

The greene's loved rick like their own son from the second Lori had brought him home for the first time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick saw the roofs of the buildings in town up ahead and he shook his head out of his own thoughts. He noticed his hands were shaking again.... and his headache had returned. He pulled on the reigns hard making boots stop abruptly, kicking up dust, he glanced up at the familiar sign hanging on two rusty hooks

 

 

"Black River Welcomes You"

 

 

 

Rick's hands began to shake and he clenched them into a fist

 

 

 

he only had a few remaining opium pills left so he would need to get some more from the drug store before he went to the jail

 

 

 

The war had left him in a lot of pain, with several scars over his body. The pills helped, they helped with the pain, with the shakes, with the headaches but also the memories of the carnage of war, the blood, the stench of rotting human bodies laying everywhere, the relentless sounds of gunfire and cannons firing, the deathly screams from the men he called friends shot dead in front of him, cries out in agony as limbs were blown off from mines and bullets..but he took them because he blamed himself for not being able to protect his family. He also knew how many to take to either relieve a migraine and shakes and how many to take to get him high. The euphoric feeling of warmth, relaxation and detachment, like he was floating was one of rick's ultimate addictions

 

 

 

Rick squeezed his legs together, telling boots to start moving again

 

 

They trotted down the main street of the town, Rick tipped his hat to the townsfolk who smiled and waved to him. Rick was well liked in town and he took his job as deputy very seriously, and never ever came to work high

 

 

 

he laid his eyes on the drug store and led boots straight over, dismounting and tying his reigns to the post, running  a hand up his neck as he passed him

 

 

The bell chimed above the door as the druggist looked up from the counter, smiling

 

 

"good morning Richard, " the store owner tom smiled cheerfully

 

 

rick glared at him from underneath his hat with malice blue eyes

 

 

tom stood back slightly and looked at rick apologetically

 

 

"rick.....sorry" he mumbled

 

 

rick hated being called by his birth name, Richard...everyone usually called him rick, everyone except Hershel

 

 

rick gave him a small smirk

 

 

"How have you been tom ?? " he came up to the counter and leaned on it with his elbow

 

 

tom relaxed slightly and smiled

 

 

"oh you know, pretty quiet..what can I get for you ? ''

 

 

rick took his hat off, running a hand through his wild curls

 

 

"I need some more opium '' rick narrowed his eyes at tom

 

 

 

tom moved uncomfortably behind the counter

 

 

"now Richard..." he began,as rick glared at him

 

 

" rick..... Hershel has told me not to sell you anymore this month ... I sold you 5 bottles just 2 weeks ago son....have you finished them already??'' he looked rick up and down concerned

 

 

"it's these headaches....I couldn't sleep...they didn't last " Rick's palm ran over the handle of his machete as his jaw twitched in annoyance

 

 

he was the bloody deputy,he could have what the fuck he wanted

 

 

"I ain't a fucking child , the old man has no right to tell you what you can and can't sell me" he spat, slamming his fist down on the counter making tom furrow his brows

 

 

"I think he's just worried about you rick" he trailed off noticing ricks intense glare

 

 

rick ran a hand over his stubble angrily and reached into his leather satchel hanging across his body and threw several gold coins on the counter and flashed his eyes up to tom

 

 

toms eyes lit up with greed and he looked back up to rick who was now smirking

 

 

"the old man doesn't need to know " he glanced at the coins and back up to tom

 

 

"This will just be between you and me tom " he smiled at tom

 

 

tom looked up from the money and glanced around the store for any customers eves dropping and reached under the counter

 

 

"you didn't get these from MY store, you hear me son ?? you got these over in falls creek" he place several bottles of pills on the counter, grabbing the money greedily

 

 

 

" Yeh sure tom...Good doing business with you tom, ill see you next time " Rick scoffed

 

 

 

He put his hand out for tom to shake and tom looked at it

 

 

he quickly shook his hand and picked the coins up out of sight

 

 

Rick put his hat back on, shoving it as far down as he could, and put the bottles in his satchel crossed over his torso

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boots ears twitched and he raised his head when he heard Rick's boots scuffing along the wooden porch of the drug store, he nuzzled his nose into Rick's hands and rick scoffed

 

 

"come on, there will be some food around the back"

 

 

 

Rick untied Boots and walked him up and across the street, around the back of the jail. there was an area specially designed for Rick,Hershel's, and jerry's ( his newest deputy) To keep their horses during the day. There was shade, food and water

 

 

Rick took off his saddle and removed his bedroll holding it under his arm as he fished around in his satchel bag looking for the near empty bottle of pills he had taken with Negan earlier

 

 

 

He layed his hand on it  and spilled the last remaining 4 onto his palm...he knew if he took any more than 4 he would be high as fuck and he wouldn't risk that..not now..not at work, not with Hershel hovering over him

 

 

 

He threw the four into his mouth followed by some water from his canteen and hung his head back feeling them slide easily down his throat. His headache and shakes would be gone in a minute

 

 

 

Rick walked in the back door of the jail and past the cells, when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye...Merle fucking Dixon

 

 

"well .....what time do you call this deputy dick ?? ....not a good look the town's finest deputy, showing up late ...where you been ?? " he grinned, standing up and walking over to the bars, hanging his hands through them

 

 

"None of your fucking business Dixon, so shut ya trap" rick spat angrily

 

 

''wow..wow don't get ya panties in a twist now deputy.." he smirked an evil smirk

 

 

Merle tilted his head to the side looking at rick

 

 

"you know deputy, you always look pissed off....i could put in a good word for you with mary at the brothel..., she might jump on ya dick for half price...you look like you could do with a good hard fuck" merle barked out laughing

 

 

Rick glared at him, blue eyes like daggers and he smirked

 

 

"yeh no thanks..... god knows what diseases she caught off you, you outlaw scum '' rick smirked

 

 

merle stopped laughing instantly and glared at rick

 

 

Rick tipped his hat, winked, and walked away into the jail's office where Hershel and Jerry were at their desks

 

 

''morning gentlemen" he took his hat off hanging it on the hook next to Hershel's and jerry's hats

 

 

jerry glanced up over his newspaper and Hershel took  his pocket watch out , looking at and giving Rick a disappointed look

 

 

Rick glanced at him and sat at his desk, dumping his bags underneath it, brushing his wild curls back

 

 

"what did merle do this time ?? '' Rick looked at jerry, trying to avoid Hershel's stern look

 

 

"He shot old Neville in the leg " jery mumbled, head in the newspaper

 

 

rick felt Hershel's eyes boring onto him

 

 

"why ?? '' he scoffed

 

 

"cheating in a card game or some shit" jerry raised an eyebrow at rick

 

 

rick glanced over at Hershel

 

 

"what is it ? '' he sighed

 

 

Hershel eyed rick

 

 

"your late Richard...I agreed to let you have two days leave if you agreed to be back in the morning" he stood up from his desk and walked over to rick

 

 

rick furrowed his brows

 

 

"It is morning" he looked down at his desk

 

 

"it's 12:30 in the afternoon Richard " Hershel spat

 

 

 

"what's the problem... it's not like you need me...look at this place... it's like a fucking ghost town" Rick waved his hand to the street

 

 

jerry glanced up from his paper

 

 

"Annette and the girls were worried about you" he furrowed his brows

 

 

"what the hell for ? '' rick said, feeling a lecture coming on

 

 

jerry stood up abruptly

 

 

"think that's my lunch break" he looked up at the clock on the wall and back at rick, gritting his teeth..he knew Hershel wanted a quiet word with rick

 

 

he took his hat off the hook and walked out the back

 

 

rick glanced at him and back at Hershel and leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head..the pills had taken his headache away but now he was getting a fucking yelled at

 

 

"fuck you Dixon" jerry yelled in the back....Rick could only assume Merle was running his mouth again

 

 

"We worry about you...... when you go away for days Richard " he looked down at Rick

 

 

"days......I was gone 2 and I told you, you knew I was going and when I would be back......" he frowned

 

 

"I haven't finished" Hershel snapped

 

 

rick sighed loudly and put his chair back down on the floor, looking up at Hershel's judging face

 

 

"...you go off for days, we never know where ..you won't tell us... every time you leave we don't know if we will ever see you again Richard ''

 

 

"don't be so dramatic ... nothing is going to happen to me" rick glanced at him

 

 

" you take those pills with you everywhere..." he looked at Rick's desk, seeing him put his bags underneath it earlier

 

 

"oh for fucks sake Hershel " rick yelled, slamming his hand down on his desk

 

 

hershel's jaw twitched

 

 

"I see you taking handfuls of them.... more and more often son... it's not healthy" he looked at rick concerned

 

 

" and You know why I take them old man......I watched men being slaughtered in front of my eyes" rick gritted his teeth at Hershel, trying to keep his voice down

 

 

"...my friends...screaming in pain, they died in my arms..their fucking legs and arms missing from mines.....I couldn't help them.... '' rick glared at Hershel, malice in his eyes

 

 

"...You have NO right telling me I shouldn't be taking something that helps me fucking forget all that.... even just for a while" he yelled, getting agitated

 

 

"that's just it Richard, they are only a temporary fix son..you need professional help..not swallowing handfulls of pills hourly "

 

 

"hourly" rick scoffed

 

 

"...... it's getting worse..each year that passes.....since we lost them" he looked at rick, emotion filled his old eyes

 

 

Rick's heart hurt, it physically hurt,it always did when Lori and carl were mentioned

 

 

"This has nothing to do with them..fuck Hershel just fucking drop it..... PLEASE" rick yelled

 

 

his voice echoing in the small room

 

 

"Now now girls" merles obnoxious voice hollered from the cells

 

 

"shut the fuck up Dixon or you can spend the night in there" rick yelled

 

 

merle was silent

 

 

" I care about you rick, you know you're like a son to me...i...i" Hershel's voice cracked

 

 

"I'm fine Hershel" rick looked at him, feeling for the old man

 

 

"you are not fine" Hershel raised his voice

 

 

Rick ran a hand down his face, sighing loudly

 

 

"can we have this conversation another time...." Rick's lip curled up in annoyance

 

 

Hershel looked down at him, pure disappointment in his eyes...Rick knew he was a disappointment to  him

 

 

 

Hershel opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and walked away from Rick's desk and sat down at his own, not looking up again

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later in the day, Hershel had taken Jerry somewhere to show him the ropes of collecting taxes or some shit that the newest deputy had to learn

 

 

Rick watched the hands on the clock ticking by, he had his feet up on the desk and was leaning back in the chair, nearly falling asleep

 

 

 

He yawned loudly, when someone walking into the office made him take his boots off the desk and sit up straight

 

 

 

 A man in his early 40's with long hair hanging over his face, and a crossbow hanging off his shoulder came up to rick's desk,his dark eyes were hidden behind his scruffy hair

 

 

 

Rick looked at the man warily, he looked like trouble

 

 

"I'm here for merle" he mumbled, rick barely hearing him

 

 

"Dixon" rick said looking at the man furrowing his brow

 

 

"yeh I've come to get his drunk ass " he looked at the cells out the back, obviously knowing where they were

 

 

"Actually he wasn't arrested for being drunk this time..but he did shot someone,..he's lucky he didn't kill him or he would be hanging by a noose right about now" rick spat out loud enough for Merle to hear

 

 

"fuck you Grimes" merle's voice echoed back from the cells

 

 

rick glanced at the stranger and looked at his crossbow over his shoulder

 

 

"you do much hunting with that?'' he questioned

 

 

the man looked at rick, surprise on his face like he didn't expect Rick to even say a word to him ,he averted his eyes to the floor

 

 

"got a real big buck yesterday..fed our  whole group just nicely" he smiled

 

 

rick nodded, he had done some hunting years ago and liked it, even taking carl once or twice

 

 

"oi... will you two girls stop gossiping and painting ya nails and get me the fuck outta here" merle yelled

 

 

rick sighed and took his keys out of his pocket, walking around his desk and into the cells

 

 

merle was standing upright at the cell doors, a stupid grin on his face when rick entered

 

 

"bout time " he smirked

 

 

rick let him out and he followed merle into the office

 

 

"well baby brother...how sweet of you to come to collect me " merle said joyfully

 

 

brother !!

 

 

rick looked at the stranger.... they didn't look anything alike

 

 

"the boss told me to come get ya....he's waiting to have a word with ya" the man glared at merle

 

 

Merle seemed to shut his trap instantly and put his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor

 

 

"Go on get outta my sight Dixon, I don't wanna see you back in here " rick spat at merle

 

 

merle looked at him

 

 

"Always a pleasure deputy prick" he saluted rick and walked out the door

 

 

the stranger gave rick a sympathetic look

 

 

"he's an asshole" he shrugged and smirked

 

 

Rick smiled back

 

 

"not telling me anything I don't already know" he grinned

 

 

The stranger nodded, ducking his head and followed merle out into the street and disappearing out of Rick's view

 

 

Rick had a feeling he would be seeing merle Dixon again before the week was out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was so unbelievably bored  that  he fell asleep in his chair

 

 

the loud sound of obnoxious laughing and whistling stirred Rick awake and  he furrowed his brow in irritation

 

 

He stood up walking to the front of the jail, his attention was drawn to the saloon, a few stores down from the general store

 

 

3 obnoxiously loud, intoxicated men were laughing and whistling at the women who walked past them in the street, arms slung around each others shoulders, each holding what looked like whiskey bottles in their hands

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes at the strangers and was immediately drawn to a particular man

 

 

He was tall and was the only one not wearing a hat, as his hair was dark brown was clearly viasbale

 

 

He squinted his eyes at the man who looked strangely familiar

 

 

Suddenly his chest started to feel constricted, like he was being squeezed very tightly, sudden a wave of light headedness swept over him and he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, steadying himself up against the door frame

 

 

the loud cackle of the men laughing made rick look up again

 

 

He stared at the stranger as the taste of bile suddenly rose in his mouth and a cold sweat ran up his body, his hands began to shake and the ground spun underneath him

 

He bolted inside, past the cells, and out the back to the horse enclosure, and emptied the entire contents of his stomach up in the dirt. His body convulsed as sweat dripped from his curls as he vomited until he had nothing left in his stomach

 

 

He spat the last remaining vomit taste out of his mouth and stood up shaking slightly, he took several steps back and lay his head on the wall, closing his eyes

 

 

After a moment, He opened his eyes and found Boots looking over at him, He furrowed his brows and went back inside the jail

 

 

Rick ran a hand through his wild curls, trying to tame them, he adjusted his clothes and walked slowly through into the office

 

 

Suddenly he heard children laughing and his eyes flashed out to the street and saw a group of young kids running past the jail

 

 

 A sudden sinking feeling in his stomach made him think the kids were heading in the direction of the drunk strangers

 

 

His heart started beating fast as walked to the doorway and looked down the street

 

 

As if he had seen it all before, a young boy ran into the back of one of the men, making him drop his whiskey bottle on the ground, smashing its precious contents all over the dirt

 

 

The man spun around, looming over the small child

 

 

"what the FUCK" he roared in his face

 

 

He suddenly grabbed the boy by his shirt collar and slapped him across the face making him fall to the ground

 

 

Rick's eyes were wide with shock, his head began to spin again, he steadied himself on the wall as sweat drenched his back and made his shirt cling to his body, he was shaking...what the fuck was happening to him ??

 

 

"you fucking little brat, look what you did " the man yelled, as the boy held his red cheek on the ground, stunned

 

 

 

the other children he was playing with all stopped running and looked on in shock

 

 

 

"imm sooryy " the frightened child stammered

 

 

 

 

the drunk man barked out an obnoxiously loud laugh

 

 

 

"you're sorry " he spat

 

 

"come here boy" he wiggled his finger at the scared boy, as the other men in the group laughed

 

 

the boy didn't move and looked at his friends,a scared look on his face

 

 

"I said come here now" the man yelled

 

 

the boy stood up and dusted himself off, as he gingerly took a step toward the drunk men

 

 

he was suddenly grabbed by his shirt collar again, pulling him impossibly close to the drunk man's face

 

 

Ricks furrowed his brows as the ground underneath him was spinning

 

 

the young boy started to cry

 

 

''What you crying for kid ?? " he slurred

 

 

''you want to be a real man ?? " he breathed whiskey into the frightened boy's face

 

 

the kid was petrified

 

 

"answer me" he yelled and jerked the kid away from him and slapped him again

 

 

"joey, give me your whiskey" he slurred, turning his head towards the man behind him

 

 

''OK harry " he laughed and handed him the bottle

 

 

"here take a swig of this and youll be a man in no time "the dunk man shoved the bottle of whiskey into the boy's mouth, the dark liquid spilling out of the bottle and dripping down his chin, as he chocked and struggled

 

 

"you stop that" a little girl screamed at the men

 

 

Rick's head shot up as he heard the young girls scream

 

 

They all looked at her, as the man stopped pouring bitter whiskey down the boy's throat

 

 

He hooked his arm around the child's neck, in a slight headlock, holding him in place, and grinned at the little girl

 

 

she took a step backward, suddenly aware that the drunk men were all glaring at her

 

 

"Now, what do we have here ?? " another man slurred taking a step toward the girl

 

 

she stepped back

 

 

"come on over here sweetheart, you can join in on the party too " he slurred and grabbed at her

 

 

she squealed and pushed the man with all her might, he barely moved and he pushed her roughly in the chest making her fall into the dirt with a thud, the man leered down at her

 

 

"You're a real pretty little thing sweetheart, why don't you come here to old joey " he bent down and grabbed at her hand

 

 

she screamed and slapped the man in the face, he was stunned slightly for a moment and grabbed her arm pulling her to her feet

 

 

"now that wasn't very nice you little bitch " he slurred and slapped her hard in the cheek as she fell to the ground, crying

 

 

the other man continued to pour the whiskey down the young boy's throat as he sobbed and joey grabbed the girl by the hair as she screamed holding her hands to her hair trying to get away

 

 

"hey, boss....how bout we take these two behind the saloon here and have some fun with em.. it's been weeks since we've had some pussy" he licked his lips at the children,a deranged look on his face

 

 

both children screamed and struggled

 

 

"let us go" the young girl yelled

 

 

"here honey this will make ya stop crying" he laughed shoving the whiskey bottle in her mouth, as it spilled all down her dress and onto the ground

 

 

suddenly there was a flash of color and everything seemed to freeze, the bottle of whiskey being shoved in the girl's mouth fell to the ground smashing its contents all over the dusty street

 

 

The young girl  turned and screamed as joey's entire arm came away from his shoulder and was still attached around her neck, she pulled it off screaming, falling down onto the ground

 

 

Joey let out a noise like a wounded animal caught in a trap and fell to his knees holding his severed arm with the other hand to try and stop the bleeding as drool fell out of his mouth

 

 

His buddies all looked up stunned to see Rick, holding a  machete loosely in his hand, fresh blood dripping from it, a smirk on his face

 

 

his eyes almost hidden under a mop of curls hanging in his face, hat pulled down so far his icy blue eyes were barely visible, body tense and ready to strike like a snake

 

 

Chapter Text

Harry let go of the boy's neck and fumbled to pull his gun out of his holster, as did the other men

 

 

"get outta here " Rick spat, looking toward the frightened children

 

 

the stunned kids looked at each other and ran away behind the saloon

 

 

"he cut my fucking arm off" Joey screamed on his knees, the color drained from his face

 

 

"I can fucking see that" the stranger Rick had his eye on yelled, looking down at his friend and back up to Rick, narrowing his eyes

 

 

"what the fuck have we got here ?? " Harry spat, finally drawing his gun out of his holster and pointing it at Rick, a sinister grin on his face

 

 

"a fucking deputy.." he laughed

 

 

"and a real pretty one too" he added looking Rick up and down, licking his lips

 

 

"don't ya think he's real pretty Shane ??" he moved his head slightly to the left to the familiar stranger

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat..Shane...he finally had a name for the face ..that face that haunted his dreams

 

 

"Shane don't just fucking stand there.... kill this fucker " joey, howled out on the ground behind Rick

 

 

"Shane" Rick barely whispered...letting the name of the man who shot him and led the gang that killed his family,roll off his tongue

 

 

"didn't know we were on a first name basis..... friend" Shane spat

 

 

"I ain't your friend asshole" Rick spat back, one hand hovering over his holster, one gripping his machete

 

 

"well deputy, I think you're outnumbered here" Shane smirked

 

 

Rick didn't even flinch at the threat

 

 

"it's you I want, these fucks are just in my way " Rick pointed his machete dripping with blood at Shane, his lip curled up at the corner

 

 

shane's face twisted and he narrowed his eyes

 

 

" .... have we crossed paths before? " Shane tilted his head to the side, looking rick up and down curiously

 

 

"kill him Shane for fucks sake" joey chocked out on the dirty street

 

 

Rick ignored the one armed man on the ground, his eyes never leaving Shane

 

 

"I've never forgotten your face...or those those fucking eyes " rick bared his teeth

 

 

"... you and your fucking gang raped and killed my wife, my son...my unborn child " rick gritted his teeth thinking about his family, blue eyes as cold as ice

 

 

Shane simply blinked at Rick and a large grin spread across his face

 

 

"Well that sounds like one hell of a good fucking night to me friend " Shane barked out laughing, throwing his head back

 

 

Rick shook with anger, it was radiating off his shoulders like fire

 

 

Rick didn't hesitate as he grabbed his colt from his holster with the speed of a snake striking in his left hand and shot harry directly in the middle of his forehead, his body jerked back against the saloon's double doors and he fell through them, landing in a heap inside 

 

A shrill woman's scream was heard from inside

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed back to Shane, calmly

 

 

"you fucking bastard" joey hissed behind him and grabbed Rick around the legs

 

 

Rick looked down at the man in the street, his attention momentarily drawn away from Shane

 

 

a gunshot filled the air and Rick felt a sharp pain throb through his shoulder, he ignored it and swung his machete  down on joey

 

 

The man's head was severed instantly off at the neck in one quick motion and rolled off into the street coming to a stop as the wind blew it slightly

 

 

there was a shrill scream from across the street and Rick knew they were attracting more and more of an audience, something he didn't want or like

 

 

He looked at his shoulder, his shirt was a crimson color, it didn't feel like a bullet as Rick knew what that felt like being shot several times in the war

 

 

Shane had luckily just given him a flesh wound

 

 

Not showing any emotion, he shot Shane in the neck, blood splatter covered the wall of the saloon as Shane's body fell back hitting the wall, his arm dropped down to his side as his gun lowered, and held his other hand to his bleeding neck

 

 

"you son of a bitch " Shane yelled, slumping against the saloon wall slightly, looking pale

 

 

Shane fell to his ass as blood dripped down his neck, he looked up into the sun as Rick's silhouette loomed over him, a gun in one hand and a machete in the other

 

 

Rick knelt down to Shane's level and ducked his head to meet his brown eyes

 

 

"have I jogged your memory now asshole" rick snarled glaring at Shane

 

 

Shane narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

"fuck you" he yelled, laughing, blood stains on his teeth

 

 

Without blinking Rick slammed his machete down on Shane's hand, slicing off 4 fingers above the knuckle, eyes black with uncontrollable rage and revenge

 

 

 

Shane screamed in agony like a dying animal, as he held his severed hand under his armpit trying to stop the bleeding, removing his hand from his neck, Rick could see he missed and had given Shane a flesh wound to match his own

 

 

"you fucking motherfucker" Shane yelled, spitting blood from his mouth at Rick's boots

 

 

Rick glanced down at his blood stained boots, grinning a sadistic, unnerving grin back up at Shane

 

 

Shane looked at him, sweat forming on his brow as his face was incredibly pale,  gritting his teeth in pain

 

 

"I've been thinking about you for over 3 years now ...what I would do to you when we  finally crossed paths again " Rick said and stood up

 

 

"you took my whole life away that night.....Murderers like you need to be eradicated from this world " Rick bared his teeth, aiming his colt at Shane's head

 

 

Shane's eyes widen in fear

 

 

"you can't kill me.... your a fucking deputy " he yelled putting his uninjured hand up in defense

 

 

Rick's face was twisted and he had an unusual look on his face, distant and blank

 

 

"I don't know what your fucking talking about.. I don't know your fucking wife and kid I swear" he yelled, a petrified look on his face

 

 

"Don't you fucking lie to me" Rick screamed

 

 

"...you fucking shot me in the head..I saw your fucking face....your eyes have been in my dreams every night for the past 3 years" he yelled

 

 

 

suddenly, a gunshot echoed in the air, rattling the two men

 

 

 

Rick turned around and saw the face of a man he knew all too well

 

 

Hershel was standing in the middle of the street, his shotgun pointed up into the sky, glaring at the two men, anger burning off his shoulders

 

 

 

"That's enough bloodshed on my streets for one day " he yelled sternly

 

 

 

Rick turned back to Shane who glared up at him

 

 

"fuck" he whispered to himself

 

 

"This ain't your concern old man ..back off " Rick bared his teeth at Shane, gun pointed at him

 

 

"what's your name friend ? '' Shane tilted his head curiously at Rick as he had finally remembered him

 

 

Rick suddenly felt the cold barrel of the shotgun pressed into the small of his back

 

 

"put the gun down Richard........ you've done enough killing for one day son " Hershel spoke calmly and clearly

 

 

''Richard.....'' Shane cocked his head slightly and smirked at Rick

 

 

 

"don't you call me that you fuck" Rick stepped closer to the injured man

 

 

 

"I won't ask you again son, put the gun down " Hershel eyed Rick and the dangerous weapons in his possession

 

 

 

"This is the fucking piece of shit who killed Lori and Carl " Rick  spat  at Hershel

 

 

Hershel looked at Shane and narrowed his eyes, placing a hand on Rick's shoulders to try and calm him

 

 

"How can you be sure ? " he looked at Shane, holding his shotgun by his side

 

 

"I know it's him, id know him anywhere..those fucking eyes" Rick's voice trembled, as Hershel looked at him concerned

 

 

" The man is fucking insane..you see what he did to my boys ? '' Shane yelled up at Hershel

 

 

"you keep quiet you hear" Hershel yelled and pointed his shotgun at Shane, not being able to think straight

 

 

" Me and my boys were just minding our own business, enjoying a few drinks in this fine town when your deputy comes out of nowhere cutting joe's fucking head off, killing my mate harry here, shooting me..cutting my fucking fingers off...he could have killed me.." Shane yelled waving his uninjured hand in the air

 

 

"the day ain't over yet asshole"  Rick spat, stepping closer to Shane

 

 

Hershel put a hand on Rick;s shoulder, holding him back

 

 

'' he looks like he needs the doc boss" a voice came from the side of Shane

 

 

Jerry stood with his gun aimed at Shane, eyes darting around the scene that fell before him

 

 

"fuck that shit, he ain't getting no doctor'' Rick snapped, eyes full of vengeance

 

 

 

'' Hey Richard..., your wife was a whore .............she was begging me for it" Shane laughed

 

 

 

Rick's finger pulled his colts trigger slightly and suddenly the back of his knees were kicked in by Hershel's boots and he fell to the ground on all fours, dropping his gun and machete onto the wooden slats of the saloon

 

 

 

His wrist was grabbed and his arm twisted roughly back behind his back as he felt cold handcuffs close around his wrist

 

 

 

His wound in his shoulder screamed out in agony and his other hand was grabbed and pinned behind his back, locking the cuffs tightly as it pinched his skin

 

 

" he killed Lori....get these fucking things off me you stupid old bastard...." Rick bared his teeth, struggling against the cuffs

 

 

 

"For god's sake Richard, you're causing a scene..... you're scaring the townsfolk" Hershel gritted his teeth, as he looked behind them to a growing crowd of shocked townsfolk

 

 

 

"he's insane, look at him, he's cutting men's heads off and shooting people in the fucking street" Shane yelled

 

 

 

"you keep quiet" Hershel narrowed his eyes at Shane, not knowing whether to believe Rick's crazy story that this was actually the man who was responsible for his beloved daughter and grandchildren's deaths

 

 

Rick struggled and threw his body about against the cuffs

 

 

Hershel gritted his teeth

 

 

"you better calm down Richard or I'm gonna have to lock you up son"

 

 

"you ain't locking me up you old bastard, let me go" he screamed, unaware of the audience they now had watching them

 

 

Hershel nodded at them and smiled weakly

 

 

 

"it's ok everyone, everything is under control " he called out calmly

 

 

 

Rick looked at the faces of the scared people, children...

 

 

 

"jerry ...go and retrieve doctor Carson and get this man seen to will you son " Hershel called as they passed him

 

 

The crowd parted in the middle as Rick hung his head as he was ushered in handcuffs by Hershel towards the jail.....

 

 

 

He suddenly felt ashamed, these were people who knew him, people he had pleasant conversations with, children hid behind their mother's dresses and some whispered as Hershel walked Rick past them

 

 

"it's ok...you can all go back to your business now" Hershel said, a calming tone to his voice

 

 

 

When they reached the jail, Hershel practically threw Rick in a cell and slammed the door shut with a loud bang, locking it

 

 

"what the fuck Hershel, why are you arresting me you stupid old fool...that was the prick who killed your daughter and grandchildren..raped them " R,ick bellowed through the bars in anger, now no one was watching them

 

 

his hat fell off his head and his wild curls hung in his face, his blue eyes fierce with rage, hands still cuffed behind his back

 

 

Hershel looked at him with concern on his face, eyes trailing down to the blood on his shoulder

 

 

" Please Richard, calm down son, you aren't doing that wound any good by thrashing about like that " Hershel furrowed his brows

 

 

"... it's just a flesh wound...he didn't shoot me.....now let me outta here" he screamed and banged his head on the bars, proceeding  to kick them with his boots

 

 

"stop Richard, please this isn't helping anyone " Hershel held up his hands

 

 

"fuck you old man" Rick spat saliva in Hershel's face

 

 

Hershel recoiled back and brought a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping it off his face calmly

 

 

Jerry suddenly ran up the hallway of the jail, looking flustered

 

 

"Hershel ....the guy....the guy Rick shot...he's taken off " he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder to the street, looking between rick and Hershel wide eyed

 

 

"the fuck" Rick yelled, eyes wide

 

 

"get the fuck out there Hershel for fucks sake, he's getting away" Rick yelled gritting his teeth close to the bars

 

 

"I don't appreciate your language Richard" Hershel narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

''fuck my language ..let me fuck out of here" he kicked the bars again

 

 

"Richard have you taken something ??'' Hershel looked at him concerned

 

 

Rick was silent and glared between Hershel and jerry

 

 

"Jerry did you get Doctor Carson ?? '' Hershel didn't look away from Rick

 

 

"yes...yes..he's out there now tending to the bodies...people..the townsfolk are looking at the bodies..i...I can't ....." Jerry said flustered

 

 

Hershel sighed and finally turned around to his scared new deputy

 

 

"it's ok Jerry..you go and help Carson and ill be out in a minute ok...I just need a word with Richard " he smiled weakly at Jerry

 

 

they exchanged looks as jerry nodded and disappeared down the hallway and out into the street

 

 

Rick backed up in the cell as the back of his legs hit the cot in the corner, he sat down, hanging his head

 

 

Hershel got closer to the cell and banged his hand against the iron bars, making a loud noise

 

 

Rick glared up at the sheriff through wild curls, blue eyes spewing malice at the man in front of him

 

 

"Richard, have you had some pills ?? " he narrowed his eyes, voice lowered

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

"No" he simply said and looked back to the ground

 

 

" your lying to me son" he frowned

 

 

"...that was the guy who killed Lori....Lori,your fucking daughter Hershel, you remember her ?? your grandson ?? " he yelled, changing the subject

 

 

Hershel shook his head, hands on his hips

 

 

"yes I remember them, I think about them every day...but I'm not going to let their deaths rule my life Richard ..you can't keep chasing their ghosts son, it's not healthy"

 

 

"I can't let them go... I cant " Rick felt hot tears form in his eyes and he looked away angrily

 

 

"I told Tom not to sell you any more of those pills " he frowned, shaking his head, talking to himself

 

 

"christ..he didn't sell me anything..I didn't take any fucking opium" he glared up at Hershel through the bars

 

 

 

" What happened out there" Hershel raised his voice pointing to the street

 

 

 

" ......... that shouldn't have happened....'' his face now filled with anger

 

 

 

"He deserved everything I gave him and so did his scum fuck men...he killed Lori and Carl, they raped them both" Rick yelled

 

 

 

"I can't believe we are even having this conversation while I'm behind fucking bars " Rick shook his head at the floor

 

 

 

"you're acting crazy Richard, that's why you're behind these bars " Hershel yelled

 

 

 

"crazy for getting revenge... where is the fucking logic in that you stupid old fool" he bared his teeth

 

 

"not in that manner son, I have a town i'm responsible for, how does it look when my son in law, my finest deputy....." he glanced at Rick

 

 

''those pills" Hershel began

 

 

Rick rolled his eyes angrily

 

 

 

" pills have absolutely nothing to do with what just fucking happened out there...do I even look high to you" he screamed

 

 

The sound of someone clearing their throat made Hershel turn around and Rick look up, it was doctor Carson

 

 

 

"Hershel ....what's going on ?? Jerry tells me Rick's been shot and I have several dead men out in the street" he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

Hershel sighed and turned back to Rick

 

 

 

" Carson will take a look at you" he sighed and pulled his keys out of his pocket, unlocking Rick's cell door

 

 

Carson walked around to Hershel's side, looking in at Rick

 

 

"can we have the handcuffs off Hershel ? '' he looked at Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel looked concerned at rick, he had his head hanging to the floor and seemed calmer

 

 

 

"what do you say Richard ?? are you going to behave ?? " Hershel snapped

 

 

 

Rick didn't move or say anything, Hershel eyed Rick warily and leaned in behind him, unlocking his cuffs, making them fall on the cot

 

 

 

 

Hershel picked them up and fumbled with them in his hands

 

 

 

Carson patted him on the shoulder,giving him a weak smile and knelt down in front of Rick

 

 

 

 

"ok Rick, let's take a look" Carson said softly

 

 

 

"you'd better go and attend to Jerry, he's in a real state out there on his own" Carson looked back up at Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel nodded and glanced at Rick one last time, he adjusted his hat and sighed loudly walking out of the jail into utter chaos

Chapter Text

Hershel dealt with the scared townsfolk, as Jerry scurried around picking up weapons and personal belongings of the deceased..The bodies were covered with white sheets temporarily, while Hershel ordered everyone to go back to their homes, especially the women and children. Red crimson stained the sheets when everyone finally walked away looking back at the scene and whispering to each other

 

 

Hershel and jerry loaded the two men on a horse drawn wagon to take them up to the town's cemetery, which was up on Miner's Hill

 

 

 

Hershel sat in the seat of the wagon and ran a hand over his tired face, Jerry finally joined him in the front and handed Hershel something, He looked down to see Rick's colt python and his machete covered in dry blood and skin, He glanced back at Jerry and sighed taking the items

 

 

 

"we will stop by the jail first Jerry and see how Carson is going with Richard, then we will go and bury these men " he looked up to the sky the sun was setting

 

 

Jerry eyed Hershel

 

 

"why'd he do it Hershel ..?? you think he was actually the guy that killed your daughter and grandchildren?? Rick seemed pretty adamant?? '' jerry barely whispered

 

 

"Richard is a troubled young man" Hershel began and stopped and looked at Jerry, smiling weakly

 

 

"come on son" he motioned his hand to the horses and Jerry looked at them and clicked his tongue making them start to move towards the jail

 

 

 

They walked into the jail and saw Carson sitting at Jerry's desk with a glass in his hand and a bottle of bourbon opened close by

 

 

 

he looked up from his glass when the two men walked in and his eyes trailed over their blood stained clothes

 

 

 

"hows Richard ?? " Hershel said before even reaching the desk

 

 

 

"He only sustained a flesh wound, he's very lucky...the same can't be said for the two men out there..what the hell happened Hershel?? " Carson sipped his drink

 

 

 

Hershel glanced down the hallway at the cells....Rick was unusually calm and quiet

 

 

 

"Did he give you any trouble ?? " Hershel looked back at Carson

 

 

 

Carson simply shook his head

 

 

 

"you two want a hand taking the bodies up the hill ?? can I offer you a drink first ?? .. it's from my own personal collection" he held up his glass

 

 

Hershel looked down at him and furrowed his brows

 

 

'' you left Richard alone, to go get bourbon ?? '' he gave Carson a stern look

 

 

"I only went across to my office..and Rick is fine..he was completely calm when I left him.. it's not like he can get into any more trouble..come on, sit down Hershel..it's been one hell of an afternoon" Carson smiled

 

 

Hershel looked down the hallway, rubbing his stubble

 

 

 

Carson glanced at Jerry

 

 

 

"what about you young fella?? you want a drink" he held up the bottle

 

 

 

jerry shook his head quickly looking drawn and tired

 

 

 

Hershel furrowed his brows in Rick's direction, something didn't feel right

 

 

 

"did you give him something to calm him down ? '' Hershel said, looking down the hallway

 

 

 

"who? " Carson began

 

 

 

" Richard " Hershel snapped

 

 

 

he walked down the narrow hallway to the cells not waiting for Carson's answer

 

 

 

Rick was sitting upright on the cot, feet on the floor, back against the wall of the cells, making small, jerking movements

 

 

 

 

Hershel's eyes widened when he saw what Rick was doing

 

 

 

He had a large knife in his hand and was cutting his arms, making large incisions in his flesh, blood dripping down onto the floor

 

 

 

Hershel ran up to the bars and banged his hand on them, but Rick didn't so much as flinch and kept cutting himself with the large knife

 

 

"Richard " he said loudly

 

 

 

"jerry...Carson get down here now'' he called back to his deputy and the doctor

 

 

 

 

Hershel pulled at the gate, but Carson must have locked it behind him

 

 

 

 

Hershel's hands shook as he fumbled to get the keys out of his pocket and unlocked Rick's cell

 

 

 

 


Jerry and Carson came running down the hallway and stopped when they came up to the bars

 

 

 

 

"Richard where did you get that from ?? " Hershel didn't know Rick had any other weapons on him

 

 

 

Hershel attempted to take the knife out of Rick's hand

 

 

 

Rick's eyes suddenly flashed up to him like a wild animal defending its meal and he stood up abruptly seemingly coming to life, like he only just acknowledged Hershel was standing there

 

 

 

"give me the knife now Richard " Hershel looked down at the knife in Rick's hands

 

 

 

Rick's face twisted

 

 

"I couldn't save them....I couldn't " he had tears in his eyes, looking down at his cut arms

 

 

 

Hershel looked down at Rick's bloody arms

 

 

 

 

''give me the knife son" Hershel stepped a foot closer to Rick

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to his, wide and wild, he stepped back abruptly away from Hershel

 

 

 

Carson entered the cell, as Jerry hovered behind him, head moving side to side to get a better look at what was going on

 

 

 

"come on Rick, give Hershel the knife " he said calmly

 

 

 

 

"fuck off Carson" Rick spat and made another cut, hissing in pain, looking down at it

 

 

 

Hershel moved fast as Rick was momentarily distracted and had Rick around the throat by his arm in an instant

 

 

 

Rick dropped the knife, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

"let me the fuck go..I want to die...you let him go.....you let him go" Rick screamed like a wild animal, thrashing around in Hershel's grip

 

 

 

 

" give him some sedatives for fuck sake" Hershel yelled

 

 

 

Jerry looked at him shocked, Hershel never swore

 

 

 

Carson left the cell quickly,as  Jerry stood frozen, staring at Rick who looked like he was possessed, his face red and angry, his curls wild and bouncing around his face

 

 

blood was all over his arms, his face, and Hershel's arms and shirt

 

 

 

''don't just stand there Jerry,get in here, help me get him down on the cot" Hershel yelled at Jerry

 

 

 

Jerry shook his head out of his daze and entered the cell as Rick thrashed around

 

 

 

The two men pushed Rick onto the cot and lay their entire body weight on him trying to stop him from thrashing about, rick kicked his legs out and tried to lift his body off the cot

 

 

"CARSON " Hershel yelled between gritted teeth up the hallway

 

 

the doctor came running back, a needle in his hand, and rushed into the cell trying to get in past the two men holding Rick down

 

 

"get the fuck away from me" Rick yelled at the men

 

 

 

"hold still rick, this will help you relax" doctor Carson said through his teeth trying to pull Rick's shirt up to get to the flesh on his hip

 

 

"Richard please" Hershel yelled

 

 

 

blood was smeared over Hershel and Jerry as Carson finally got to the spot he wanted and injected the needle,Rick was frantic and thrashing around

 

 

 

"you fucking bastard, you let him go, ill never forgive you Hershel...NEVER" he screamed and threw his head around before he finally started to calm down and stopped fighting
against the men

 

 

 

they all stood up slowly and looked down on the sedated man closing his eyes slowly, Hershel brushed his hair back that had fallen into his face angrily, as Jerry sighed

 

 

 

"he'll be out for a good few hours.....I must tend to these wounds before he bleeds to death...Hershel, I need towels and some warm water" Carson yelled frantically and ran out of the cells to retrieve his medical bag from the front of the jail

 

 

 

Jerry looked at Hershel who was looking down on Rick

 

 

 

"ill get what the doc needs" he patted him on the shoulder as he left the cell

 

 

 

Hershel bent over and moved a stray curl out of Rick's face tenderly, his heart breaking

 

 

 

"why do you do this to yourself son" he closed his eyes and sighed looking at the ground

 

 

Carson ran back into the cell with his bag and set it down on the ground

 

 

 

"Hershel help me turn him...." he gritted his teeth as he tried to push Rick over on his back

 

 

 

Hershel and Carson rolled Rick on his back, as blood spewed out all over his arms and on the cot

 

 

"Jesus" Hershel whispered

 

 

 

" Jerry  !!! where are the towels...water" Carson yelled, rummaging through his bag, retrieving a needle to start stitching up Rick's arms

 

 

Jerry raced back and gave Carson the things he requested, he wiped some blood off with the towels and water and poured some kind of alcohol on Rick's wounds,and   began stitching up Rick's arms at a professional pace

 

 

 

''he's done this before hasn't he Hershel ?? " Carson didn't look up to Hershel

 

 

Hershel was silent

 

 

 

"well give you some space Steven" Hershel said barely a whisper

 

 

 

he ushered Jerry out of the cells and up the hallway

 

 

 

He stopped at his desk and threw the blood stained knife on it, leaning on it with both his hands, hanging his head, and sighing loudly

 

 

 

 

"Why didn't I check if he had any other weapons on him ?? " he shook his head, talking to himself

 

 

 

"Hershel this isn't your fault..it was a shit show out there...you weren't thinking...I wasn't thinking "  Jerry looked at him sympathetically putting a hand on his shoulder

 

 

 

Hershel stared at the knife

 

 

 

"jerry I need a large drink please" he sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands

 

 

 

Jerry looked at him for a moment and went over to the bottle of bourbon and poured himself and Hershel two large glasses

Chapter Text

Rick opened his eyes and saw the ceiling of the cell, he blinked several times and started to sit up

 

 

"I'm glad to see you're finally awake son " Hershel was sitting in a chair next to the open cell

 

 

 

Rick groaned and threw his legs over the side of the cot, putting his pounding head in his hands. He felt like he had been run over by a stampede of cattle 4 or 5 times over

 

 

 

He glanced down at his arms and noticed he had fresh bandages on them both

 

 

 

" Carson tended to your wounds " Hershel barely whispered looking down at Rick's bandaged arms

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at Hershel, as he ran a shaky hand over his stubble, he needed a fix..badly

 

 

 

"how long was I out ?? " he barely whispered, his throat horse and dry

 

 

 

Hershel casually pulled his pocket watch out of his top pocket and looked at it, no emotion on his face

 

 

"almost 24 hours I'd say "

 

 

Rick's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets

 

 

"what the fuck, you let Carson knock me out for 24 hours" he yelled and attempted to stand up, stumbling back against the cot

 

 

"I'm surprised you even remember Richard.....the doctor had to sedate you, you were being extremely violent and dangerous towards yourself and us" he said with a slight tone to his voice

 

 

"I was fine ...if you had just left well enough alone'' rick attempted to stand up again, this time steadying himself against the brick wall behind him by his hand

 

 

 

"Did you go after that asshole Shane ?'' he glared at Hershel, changing the subject

 

 

 

Hershel's face dropped and he looked to the floor

 

 

"what ?? " rick snapped

 

 

"there was no need Richard, from what I saw you initiated the conflict, leaving two dead in my street and a lot of scared townsfolk" Hershel furrowed his brows at Rick

 

 

 

Rick glared at him, hand still on the wall steadying himself

 

 

"so you still don't believe me when I said it was him who killed Lori and Carl ?? '' rick snapped

 

 

Hershel was silent and looked at Rick like a disappointed father

 

 

 

"I'm not sure what to believe when I saw you acting like that Richard...that wasn't you" he pursed his lips

 

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

 

" ok " Rick said calmly and began to rip off the bandages on his arms

 

 

"what are you doing ..you can't do that the stitching is still fresh ?? " Hershel said concerned, standing up quickly

 

 

'' if you won't do anything about this I will...you had me fucking sedated in here while he got further and further away"

 

 

Rick ripped the bandages off angrily and threw them on the ground, revealing large stitches, red and irritated looking

 

 

 

He picked up his hat off the cot and pushed it down on his head, shoving past Hershel angrily, marching up the hallway, as Hershel followed close behind

 

 

 

" you need to rest" he called behind Rick

 

 

 

'' I've fucking rested enough Hershel for fuck sake'' he stormed into the jail office where Jerry sat at his desk, head in another newspaper, looking up when he heard all the yelling

 

 

 

'' Where are my belongings..ill go out and look for the bastard myself '' Rick looked around the office for his weapons, feeling around his waist only just noticing his holster was missing

 

 

Jerry glanced up at Rick and over to Hershel who was now standing beside him, as they looked at each other knowingly

 

 

Rick saw the look Jerry and Hershel exchanged between each other and his face twisted

 

 

 

"...where the fuck are my weapons?? " he raised his voice

 

 

"I've confiscated them, Richard, I think its best if you don't have them in your possession right now" Hershel said calmly

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes at Hershel and suddenly felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach

 

 

 

He pushed Hershel out of the way and went directly to his desk and looked underneath it where he last left his bedroll and satchel filled with several new full bottles of opium in it

 

 

He looked up at both men, fierce and on edge

 

 

"what have you done with my bag ?? '' he yelled

 

 

Hershel and jerry were silent

 

 

"where the fuck is my bag Hershel ?? " his head pounded and he screwed his eyes shut painfully

 

 

"I'm sorry Richard...I'm truly sorry, but I think its best if you didn't have those pills either " he looked down at the floor

 

 

Rick was dumbfounded at how he was being treated...like a fucking child

 

 

"you can't fucking take my belongings away old man, I'm not a fucking kid" he spat angrily

 

 

"no son you're not, but you are extremely unwell at the moment and I..." Hershel began

 

 

"you fucking old fool..give them back to me now" rick yelled louder, his head about to explode

 

 

"no Richard, I'm sorry " Hershel put his hands on his hips

 

 

"you fucking will be if you don't tell me where my weapons and bags are" Rick snarled, his lip curling up at the corner

 

 

Jerry stood up from his desk, a concerned look on his face

 

 

"please Richard, we can get you some help son, I want to help you..... we all do" Hershel said calmly

 

 

Rick's hands began to shake with anger and he glared at Hershel, fury burning off him

 

 

"you want to help me, give me my shit back and I can go after Shane alone ''

 

 

 

"it's no use Richard...he's long gone, you'll never find him"

 

 

"you haven't even tried..you didn't believe me " Rick yelled, waving his hands around in anger

 

 

"I've tried to find him for over 3 years...we both have a son..you know he's got friends out there who will be protecting him, hiding him in every surrounding community and town'..hell be a ghost" Hershel looked at Rick, a soft tenderness in his eyes

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

"well I know how to get information out of outlaw scum when I want it.. Now give me my machete back'' Rick held out his hand angrily

 

 

Hershel shook his head

 

 

Rick felt absolutely helpless without his weapons and pills, they were his everything

 

 

"you fucking gutless old fool" he spat

 

 

"HEY " jerry stormed over to the two men

 

 

"Hershel saved your ass out there yesterday Rick...show him some respect" he spat angrily

 

 

 

"respect" Rick scoffed

 

 

"I had him..." he gritted his teeth at Hershel

 

 

"I fucking had him..." he slammed his fist down on the desk

 

 

"and you incompetent assholes, arrest me, let him fucking run off , sedate me off my fucking head, and now ill probably never find him " he felt tears in his eyes, anger burning in his belly

 

 

"I fucking had him..he was mine and you let him go..." he pointed angrily at Hershel

 

 

"please Richard calm down," Hershel said

 

 

"Just give me my stuff and ill go look for him myself, while you two sit here on your asses" rick spat

 

 

"We had a large storm sweep through last night, there will be no traces of him, where would you even start Richard.. it's pointless...you know I speak the truth, please listen to me just this once son" Hershel pleaded with Rick

 

 

"then ill just go out there until I DO find some traces of him...I don't care how long it takes...weeks, months, years......give me my shit back now '' H glared at Hershel, eyes filled with rage and malice

 

 

"No Richard, I think you should just go home, Annette is expecting you, you can rest there and return to work when you recover...ill give you your belongings back when you've come to your senses....but those pills..Richard, I'm not giving them back to you son, they make you extremely violent...look what you did to yourself" he yelled pointing down at Rick's cut arms

 

 

 

"They don't make me fucking violent, if anything they relax me, take me on a fucking high as I've never experienced, they take the fucking pain away like I'm in now old man...I've got a fucking pounding head..I need them ......come on" he screamed and shook his hand out

 

 

"no, I'm sorry son...go home" Hershel said calmly

 

 

"I'm not leaving without my rightful property " he felt his heart palpating in anxiety..he needed his pills, a cold sweat was racing over him

 

 

"I said give me my fucking shit NOW OLD MAN" Rick screamed,walking right up to Hershel, teeth gritted

 

 

 

Hershel put his hand on his holster quickly, palm twitching over his gun

 

 

Jerry instantly doing the same

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed down to both the men's hands

 

 

"really ..you gonna shoot an unarmed man? one of your own '' rick smirked at Hershel, eyes flicking down at his hand

 

 

Hershel had a scowl on his face

 

 

 

with the speed of a runaway stagecoach, Rick grabbed Hershel's shirt collar pulling him closer to his face

 

 

"give it to me now before I do something ill fucking regret" Rick gritted his teeth in Hershel's face, eyes distant and uncaring

 

 

jerry moved quickly and pulled out his gun from his holster and aimed it directly up to Rick's head, finger poised on the trigger

 

 

"please Richard ,you arent thinking clearly " Hershel looked shocked

 

 

"STOP CALLING ME FUCKING RICHARD" Rick screamed spitting in Hershel's face with anger, head screaming in pain

 

 

"back off rick....NOW " jerry said with clenched teeth, the gun shaking slightly

 

 

Rick glared at Jerry, eyes wild and untamed, full of hate

 

 

"you don't have the fucking balls to pull the trigger asshole...your a fucking weak pussy who is scared of his own shadow " Rick smirked

 

 

 

"just try me Rick" Jerry's voice trembled as he glared at Rick

 

 

 

Rick glared at him for a moment and let Hershel's shirt go, putting both his hands up in the air,mockingly like, his eyes wild and defiant as he smirked at Jerry and backed off

 

 

 

Jerry lowered his gun instantly as Hershel eyed Rick

 

 

 

"Lori would be so disappointed in you Richard" he whispered,shaking his head

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed back to Hershel and his smirk disappeared instantly

 

 

 

"what the fuck did you just say ??  " he furrowed his brows, not knowing if he heard right

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at jerry

 

 

 

" she loved you...you were a great husband and father, Richard....after they died, I don't know..... you changed" Hershel looked to the floor

 

 

 

"of course I fucking changed ....my family was murdered...why the fuck are you acting like I did something bad when her murderer was here in this very town only yesterday..." Rick yelled

 

 

"because you can't be trusted anymore Richard " Hershel yelled

 

 

the office was deadly silent as Rick looked at Hershel with wide eyes

 

 

 

Hershel looked like he had been slapped across the face, letting out the words he was thinking but never meant to say aloud

 

 

Rick knew Hershel had lost trust in him and he disappointed him every day but he never actually heard the words from the old man himself and it hurt, it hurt like someone had cut out his heart all over again..... like he had lost more of the only family he had left

 

 

 

Rick's face was stoic and he stood staring between the two men in the office

 

 

"you have an addiction son and you won't accept help, I love you Richard and you know that you are like a son to me, it kills me every time I see you taking those pills''

 

 

"the fucking pills help me for fucks sake how many fucking times do we have to go over this...they help with my headaches, my shakes, my nightmares and you are happy to deprive me of that fucking relief are you ??'' he glared at Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel sighed and shook his head

 

 

 

"you may have your weapons back when you've calmed down and rested ,but no, I won't be giving you those pills back, they are destroying you Richard "

 

 

"I FUCKING NEED THEM TO SURVIVE" rick screamed out

 

 

 

the office was silent again and Jerry glanced at Hershel who had a sad look on his face like the truth finally came out of Rick's mouth

 

 

 

Like he admitted he had a problem

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and looked down at the floor

 

 

 

he knew he depended on them highly, but didn't see what the drama about taking them was..he had had enough of the revolving conversation

 

 

 

"ill ask one more time...are you going to give me my belongings back old man ?? " he glanced up at Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel shook his head

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly as his head pounded and looked down at the badge on his shirt

 

 

 

he slowly undid it from his shirt and held it in his hand

 

 

 

That badge meant everything to him and everything it stood for, but when his own sheriff didn't trust him anymore, what was he even doing it for ???

 

 

 

he threw the badge down on the desk looking at it

 

 

"what are you doing" Hershel furrowed his brows at the badge

 

 

"I'm done" rick simply said and walked past Hershel

 

 

he grabbed his upper arm and Rick looked down at the hand and up at Hershel's blue old tired eyes

 

 

"I don't want this Richard..please" he pleaded

 

 

Rick glared at him and pulled his arm from Hershel's grip

 

 

 

"you let him go, you remember that... you let Lori down, not me..... I had him...I fucking had him ...now it's my responsibility to hunt him down...." he looked back at the badge

 

 

 

 

"I don't need that, or you to help me bring him to justice " he spat in Hershel's face

 

 

 

"you're a deputy of the law Richard, you cant take justice into your own hands"

 

 

"..that badge meant everything to me, but seeing you two just turn a blind eye on that bullshit that happened out there yesterday" he shook his head in disappointment

 

 

 

"We didn't turn a blind eye rick" Jerry piped up

 

 

 

"you were acting fucking insane" he yelled

 

 

 

"Jerry" Hershel glared at him and he averted his eyes

 

 

 

"that out there was not turning a blind eye, that was defusing the situation and at that point, you were the only one causing a scene with everyone looking on Richard..that's what those pills do to you...look at you, you look tired, drained..not the man I once knew"

 

 

 

"I'm the same fucking man I was when you met me, the same fucking man when I married Lori..the same man when I went to war when I returned..their deaths fucking changed me, not some fucking pills" Rick yelled, his head still pounding..he felt a sickness in his belly bubbling, He had to get out of that office

 

 

 

"I'm not a deputy anymore..I'm done" he spat and walked out of the office stopping at the doorway, feeling his head spinning, and closed his eyes

 

 

 

"Richard please, we can talk about this, I don't want you to leave son" Hershel begged

 

 

 

Rick opened his eyes and felt bile rising in his guts from his intense migraine

 

 

 

 

"don't call me son, I'm nothing to you anymore Hershel..you said it yourself, you cant trust me...what's a sheriff if he can't trust his own deputy ?? " he glanced behind him and took the three steps down to the street and walked out of sight

 

 

 

"Richard wait" Hershel called out ,but Rick ignored him and took the corner of the jail , steadying himself up against the jail wall as he began vomiting violently, his body shaking

 

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"are you ok Richard ?? " Hershel's soft voice made Rick stand up straight, from his hunched over position

 

 

he closed his eyes and sighed loudly

 

 

"do I fucking look ok ?? "  he spat not turning around

 

 

"Richard i...."

 

 

''just fucking leave it will you Hershel for fucks sake...just leave me alone " he yelled, one hand on the jail wall, head hung as the ground spun underneath him

 

 

Hershel was silent for a moment

 

 

Rick closed his eyes tight, his head felt like a stick of dynamite had just exploded in it, he just wanted him to go away

 

 

"ill be inside if you want to come back in and talk about this rationally " Hershel barely whispered

 

 

Rick didn't turn and his lip curled up in annoyance, his heart pumping

 

 

 

he heard Hershel's boots fade away as they crunched loose dirt underneath them and it became silent again

 

 

 

rick breathed out slowly and inhaled trying to get his breathing back to normal

 

 

 

After a few more minutes of holding himself upright on the wall, he felt slightly better

 

 

He still had a killer headache, but the ground wasn't spinning anymore..... Fucking Hershel ....thinking he can just hide rick's belongings...fucking old prick

 

 

 

Rick stormed around the back of the jail and saw boots, he came up to the fence and put his arms on it, chin resting on his arms as boots trotted over and nibbled  at Rck's hat

 

 

Rick laughed and patted his nose

 

 

"you're the only one that doesn't fucking nag on me ay buddy" he stroked boots face tenderly

 

 

he looked up to the sky, the sun was beginning to set ,as the sky was turning a beautiful purple and blue

 

 

"fuck " he mumbled to himself

 

 

he looked at boots and thought about carl, he was so innocent, always had a smile on his face..Lori was beautiful .....she had the kindest heart, always willing to help anyone who needed it

 

 

Rick's gut twisted in anger at the thought of Shane getting away and was out there roaming the plains looking for more innocent victims

 

 

 

He suddenly smashed his hand down on the wooden fence, starling boots as he raised his head up and backed away slightly

 

 

Rick's face softened

 

 

"Sorry boy, come here" he held out his hand

 

 

boots snorted and came back over to Rick

 

 

he trailed his hand down the side of his face

 

 

"well get him boots...., we'll make sure he never hurts anyone ever again " he whispered to boots

 

 

He suddenly came up with a brilliant idea of waiting until Hershel left the jail for the night, breaking in and getting his things back...He would have to wait a few hours though

 

 

He glanced over at the saloon....whiskey would dull the migraine that was making him feel nauseous again

 

He patted boots and left the fence, walking over to the saloon and up the 3 steps, pushing the double doors open

 

 

Everyone suddenly stopped talking and looked up at Rick...Rick their deputy, who only yesterday killed two men in the street....violently...extremely violently actually

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes, as he looked around the room

 

 

He inhaled a deep breath and walked in, passing the tables filled with men and women drinking, eyeing him as he walked past , whispering behind his back

 

 

He stopped at the bar counter and took his hat off, brushing his curls back out of his face

 

 

Gregory the barman came up to him, warily

 

 

"Rick" he nodded his head

 

 

"bottle of whiskey" Rick spat

 

 

Gregory looked at him strangely

 

 

"did you say bottle Rick...??

 

 

"that's what I said" he fished out some coins he still had in his pocket and threw them on the counter, as he felt eyes boring directly into his back

 

 

Gregory looked down at the coins and back up to Rick

 

 

"do you..do you think that's a good idea Rick" he mumbled

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to his and he scowled

 

 

"I mean...after yesterday.." Gregory trailed off , averting his eyes away from Rick's stern expression

 

 

"a bottle of whiskey Gregory...now" he put his hand flat on the bar, glaring at Gregory angrily

 

 

Gregory's mouth twitched and he scurried off down the other end of the bar, coming back with a full bottle of whiskey, as Rick eyed him like a predator looking  at his prey

 

 

"thanks" he spat picking it up and turning around putting his elbows on the counter

 

 

everyone was still staring at him

 

 

"what the fuck are you all gawking at huh ?? " he yelled angrily, furrowing his brows

 

 

everyone quickly looked back down at their tables silently

 

 

Rick huffed and turned back around,taking the stopper out and pouring a large glass for himself, he drank the entire glass in one go, letting the dark liquid burn down his throat

 

 

 

He heard voices behind him as everyone seemed to go back to their conversations

 

 

Rick spun the empty glass in his hand, as he thought about Lori and Carl...would they really be disappointed in him if they saw him now ?? he angrily poured another glass, spilling the liquid in his mouth and slamming the glass back down on the bar

 

 

He caught sight of himself in the mirror that hung on the wall in front of him, with rows of liquor in front of It

 

 

It was true, he wasn't the man he used to be, he'd be the first to admit that, but he had also been through so much in the last 4 or 5 years, more than anyone

 

 

As the night wore on his migraine had completely vanished, thanks to the large amount of whiskey he had drunk

 

 

The saloon was full of chatter and piano music, when  Rick began a game of poker with some of the locals, little did they know Rick had a knack for the game, a knack that included cheating

 

 

Rick had won several games by the end of the night and he had a large pile of money in front of him, His bottle of whiskey beside him,half empty

 

.he laughed as the men mumbled, frowning as they had lost all their money, standing up, ending the game

 

 

"sore losers" Rick smirked, standing up, pulling the large pile of money towards him, shoving it in his pocket...this would help him tremendously when he was going town to town, hunting Shane down

 

 

Rick had learned that people could be bought with money, they would sell their own mothers out sometimes

 

 

"should have known better than to play with your Grimes...you always fucking win " one man mumbled, swallowing the rest of his drink and standing up, putting his hat on

 

 

"It  fucking pure talent i tell ya Bob  " he smiled at the man

 

 

the last remaining man glared at him from across the table

 

 

"how about one more game ...give me a chance to win my money back ...what do you say deputy ?? '' he eyed Rick

 

 

Rick stopped shoving money into his pockets and looked at him furrowing his brows, he was a man he didn't know or had ever seen before in his town, he wasn't wearing his deputy badge, having left it at the jail...how did this stranger know he was a deputy?? he shrugged off the curiosity

 

 

 

One of the other  men he had been  playing with earlier must have mentioned it

 

 

"sorry friend....you lost 3 games straight...I guess I'm just too good " he smirked

 

 

The stranger's lip curled up

 

 

" Or you cheated " he slammed his fist down on the table, making Rick flash his eyes over to him

 

 

several people closets to them stopped talking and looked over at the raised voices

 

 

Rick slowly leaned over the table, nearing the man

 

 

" you better have something to back up the bullshit that's coming out of your mouth ...friend " Rick bared his teeth, pointing at the man

 

 

the man sat silent and glared up at Rick looming in front of him, smelling the whiskey on his breath

 

 

Rick stood back abruptly, making the chair fall back behind him

 

Rick felt several sets of eyes on him and he glared at them

 

 

"what the fuck are you all gawking at" he spat angrily

 

 

they all looked away whispering as Rick pushed his hat on his head, making his curls stick out at every angle, and stomped out of the saloon, shoving the double doors open with more force than necessary

 

 

He got outside, as the warm night air hit him in the face like a wet towel, a bolt of lightning lit up the night sky over the horizon and it made Rick blink slightly

 

 

 

He looked up and down the street, it was quiet

 

 

He looked over to the jail, it was in complete darkness, indicating Hershel and jerry had gone home...

 

 

it  was his only chance to get his belongings and leave town that night

 

 

 

A whistle from across the street caught Rick's attention, he narrowed his eyes ,trying see in the dark

 

 

A tall lean figure, barely visible in the moonlight, dressed in all black, with a long black coat, touching the ground, wearing a red bandana over his face, revealing only his eyes, stood across the street leaning up against the barbershop

 

 

 

Rick knew instantly it was Negan

 

 

 

He jerked his head to the side and disappeared into the darkness between the barber and general store

 

 

Thunder echoed in the night sky, as Rick took the  3 steps down from the saloon leading to the dirt street, he crossed the street and went into the narrow gap between the two buildings

 

 

He was suddenly grabbed by the shirt collar and pushed backward straight into the wall of the general store, he hit his head on the hard jagged wood and blinked several times

 

 

"the fuck" Rick yelled surprised, trying to focus on the figure in front of him

 

 

Negan's lips crashed into Rick's and he was  momentarily stunned until he blinked a few times and pushed Negan back by the chest

 

 

"what the fuck are you doing here ?'' Rick whispered, looking into the street, making sure no one saw them

 

 

"well I missed you too honey " Negan huffed and took several steps back

 

 

"you can't be in town Negan, what if someone sees you ?? " Rick spat

 

 

"well ill have the sexiest fucking deputy in all of Texas to fucking protect me won't i " he smirked, putting both his hands up on the wall behind Rick's head ,blocking him in

 

 

Negan put his face close to Rick's neck and Rick could smell that familiar scent of tobacco, aftershave, and something that was just plain Negan that drove Rick insane with lust

 

 

"had to see you" Negan purred and moved his face directly in front of Rick's lips, inches away from his

 

 

Rick felt his dick twitch in his pants and grabbed the back of Negan's neck and pulled him forward to his lips, kissing him, messily, hastily, and drunkenly

 

 

Negan stuck his tongue in Rick's mouth and Rick eagerly let him enter, running his hands over his strong back

 

 

Negan's mouth was soon down to Rick's neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and bites

 

 

Rick tilted his head, giving Negan more access to his neck, looking up, he saw a flash of lightning light up the night sky like it had suddenly become day and a loud rumble of thunder followed

 

 

"Need to be in you ...you drive me fucking insane Grimes'' Negan purred into Rick's neck, as his hands ran down to Rick's ass, giving it a hearty squeeze

 

 

Rick's hands were in Negan's hair, when he suddenly picked Rick up but his ass cheeks, slamming him up against the wall

 

 

Rick wrapped his legs around Negan's strong waist and kissed him like he only had seconds to live. He needed this, he needed to forget everything that had happened in the last 2 days...Shane, Hershel, his badge, his weapons, his pills

 

 

Negan always helped him forget, even just for a few hours, he made him feel safe and wanted ,something he hadn't felt in years

 

 

Negan ground his erection into Rick and his stomach twisted with pure lust and want

 

 

"god Negan" he raised his head to catch his breath, head spinning from  arousal

 

 

"Need to fuck you so fucking bad" Negan hummed against Rick's lips

 

 

" get your fucking pants off then" Rick said breathlessly

 

 

Negan grinned against his lips and put him down, Rick stumbling back slightly as he did

 

 

Rick began work on his buttons, slowly widening his eyes so he could see them better in the dark, as he heard clothes rustling from Negan's side

 

 

"having a bit of trouble deputy ?? " Negan grinned

 

 

Rick flashed his eyes up to him angrily about to say something when he saw Negan standing in front of him, shirtless and his pants hanging loosely off his hips, a stupid grin on his face

 

 

Rick looked at him and licked his lips, he was gorgeous

 

 

he walked the few steps towards the older man and instantly sunk to his knees in the dirt undoing Negan's pants and setting his erection free

 

 

Thunder rumbled above them as Negan looked down at Rick and pushed the back of his head gently into his crotch

 

 

Rick's mouth opened and attached to Negan's cock, as a soft moan left the taller man's mouth

 

 

Rick sucked on the tip tasting pre cum already, he took the entire length into his mouth as it touched the back of his throat

 

 

"fuck Rick" Negan whispered above him

 

 

Rick hollowed his cheeks as he sucked on Negan's cock

 

 

"look at me" Negan possessively growled, pulling on Rick's curls roughly, making his head tilt up

 

 

Rick's blue eyes flashed up to Negan's hooded hazel ones as he watched Rick bobbing up and down on his dick

 

 

"fucking beautiful" he purred

 

 

 

saliva was running out of Rick's mouth as he sucked hard up and down Negans length, he swirled his tongue around the head

 

 

''Jesus fuck rick..I'm gonna come real soon if you keep that up" he moaned

 

 

Rick gave his cock one last suck and pulled off, standing up in front of Negan,Negan instantly grabbed the back of Rick's nape and kissed him fiercely, pushing him up against the opposite wall again

 

 

Negan's hands made quick work of Rick's pants and underwear and they were soon pooled around his ankles, leaving his shirt on, hard, leaking dick bobbing up against his stomach

 

 

"turn around deputy" he grinned, eyes roaming over Rick's body

 

 

Rick turned around and felt a hand pressing on his nape, gently pushing him forward into the wall

 

 

He put both his hand up on the store building and hung his head between his shoulders

 

 

Negan's hand ran down his spine sending a shiver through his body like electricity

 

 

Raindrops began hitting the tin roofs of the surrounding building, Rick's senses were on high alert with Negan's body behind him

 

 

suddenly he felt a sting burn across one of his bare ass cheeks, as Negan slapped him

 

 

Rick yelped in surprise

 

 

"How the fuck can I ever get sick of this fucking site ?? " he slapped the other one hard, leaving a red mark

 

 

Rick lifted his head up and let out a small whimper

 

 

Negan came impossibly close to Rick's body, as he felt his hard leaking dick against the crack of his ass

 

 

his breath hitched in his throat, he was horny as fuck and needed Negan inside him now, he pushed his ass out into Negan's hard dick

 

 

"fucking needy much Grimes" Negan looked down between them as his pre cum left a wet stripe down Rick's ass crack

 

 

"come on, stop fucking around, someone could walk by " Rick spat angrily

 

 

"wouldn't you just love that huh " he slapped Rick's tender ass again

 

 

Rick hissed in pain and pleasure

 

 

"come on dammit" he furrowed his brows, hanging his head

 

 

Negan leaned over slightly and spat saliva on the top of Rick's crack, watching it slide down  and disappear into his opening

 

 

he sucked his finger, pulling it out, salvia connecting to it, and rolled it around Rick's tight entrance

 

 

Rick moaned loudly and closed his eyes

 

 

"mmm like when ya moan for me Grimes" Negan hummed, looking down at Rick's ass as he inserted his finger

 

 

Rick flung his head back, as Negan's finger disappeared inside the tight, warm hole

 

 

Negan pulled his finger out slowly and pushed it back in again, tongue poking out on the edge of his lips, as he watched Rick's body take his finger greedily

 

 

Rick was moaning and squirming around on Negan's finger when he added another and Rick moved up the wall at the intrusion

 

 

"so fucking tight, gonna split you open on my cock Grimes" Negan hummed, lust dripping off his tongue like liquid

 

 

"please Negan" Rick stammered,as Negan pounded two fingers in and out of his body hastily

 

 

"what honey..??" Negan purred

 

 

"Please...ah....fuck me, I need it" he moaned

 

 

Negan damn near came right there and then, he loved when the righteous Rick Grimes came undone in his hands

 

 

Negan said nothing and pulled his fingers out with a pop

 

 

he dropped some saliva on the tip of his achingly hard cock and lined it up against Rick's entrance

 

 

It began to pour down with rain, making Rick's shirt soaking wet almost instantly

 

 

water dripped down to his naked bottom half as he felt Negan's blunt head pushing gently against his opening, pushing past the muscle

 

 

"fuuck" he hissed out through gritted teeth

 

 

"I know honey, I know " Negan whispered ,as Rick's body squeezed his dick incredibly tight

 

 

he pushed past the muscle and entered Rick until he was fully seated

 

 

they both took a second to adjust, as the rain fell down hard on them

 

 

Negan pulled out incredibly slow and slammed back in making Rick yell out in shock, it felt like Negan's cock was going right through his body

 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's hips and began a steady pace

 

 

Rick bent his neck up to look at the clouds overhead as lightning lit up the sky, the rain hit his face and he opened his mouth letting raindrops fall on his tongue

 

 

"fuckkkk Rick, you're squeezing my cock dry" Negan crudely yelled above the rain, as he pounded into the town's deputy

 

 

"hharrrder" Rick stammered

 

 

Negan wrapped a possessive hand around the front of his throat, while he nibbled on his earlobe, pounding into him fast and furious like

 

 

"Jesus" Rick moaned loudly and he grabbed his cock in his hand and thumbed around  the slit

 

 

 the feeling inside of him was like fireworks about to explode

 

 

"he's got nothing to do with it honey" Negan purred into Rick's ear

 

 

he pushed Rick hard against the cold wall and grabbed his hips, thrusting incredibly hard, hitting Rick's prostate like a hammer hitting a nail, and Rick's nail was almost in

 

 

"immm close" he yelled gritting his teeth trying to keep his voice down

 

 

"I wanna hear you scream grimes" Negan yelled above the noise of the rain

 

 

Rick closed his eyes as he stroked his dick, the feeling Negan's cock was giving him was about to push him over the edge

 

 

he felt that fire rising in his belly and he threw his head back, soaking wet

 

 

"im commminnngg" Rick screamed out above the sound of thunder and torrential rain belting down on them both

 

 

"come on my cock grimes" Negan yelled

 

 

Rick closed his eyes as he came hard in his hand and the on the wall

 

 

his body convulsed and jerked as Negan pounded into him, his whole body was sensitive and each thrust made his body jolt like he was being electrocuted

 

 

"fuckkk Rick, your god damn perfection" he yelled out and Rick felt Negan's body go stiff, feeling that warmth run through his body

 

 

Negan laid both hands on the wall on either side of Rick's trembling body as he came down from his orgasm, hot breath on the back of his neck

 

 

Negan ran a hand down the back of Rick's wet hair tenderly and pulled out

 

 

Rick felt incredibly empty, sore, and completely drenched

 

 

The rain stopped as fast as it had begun, both men soaking wet

 

 

Negan stepped back to the opposite wall, as Rick pulled up his wet pants and underwear, feeling extremely uncomfortable in them

 

 

He turned around undoing the buttons on his shirt, and absent mindedly removed his shirt and twisted it, ringing out the water, not aware his fresh stitches were very visible to a set of hazel eyes

 

 

Negan buttoned up his pants and bent to the side where an old wooden crate sat that Rick only just noticed had Negan's coat folded neatly on top of it

 

 

He lifted it up, revealing a dry shirt and bandana, and started redressing himself in mostly dry clothes

 

 

Rick watched him pull a pre-rolled cigarette from the pocket of his dry shirt and a match

 

 

He popped the cigarette in his mouth, hanging loosely on his lip as he struck the match alight against the barbershop building

 

 

A rumble of thunder made Rick turn his head to the side and look at the storm now in the distance, turning back to Negan

 

 

the butt of the cigarette glowed red in the darkness as Negan pulled the smoke into his lungs, he took the cigarette out of his mouth, looking at the butt for a moment, eyes falling back on Rick as they narrowed

 

 

"now...you got something you need to tell me Grimes" he said, a strange tone to his voice

Notes:

Should rick be worried ?? 😏

Chapter Text

"what.... ?'' rick furrowed his brows, tucking his wet curls behind his ears

 

 

 

"like what ? '' he said blankly as he put his wet, damp shirt back on leaving it unbuttoned

 

 

 

Negan was silent as he inhaled his cigarette, narrowing his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

Rick swallowed a lump in his throat, as Negan just stood across from him, silent

 

 

 

" Nothing about you fucking losing it ??...cutting a man's head clean off... while the whole fucking town watched on  ?? " Negan's face twisted

 

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat

 

 

 

''how do you know about that ? '' he barely whispered

 

 

 

"I have eyes and ears all over this pretty town Grimes..." he purred

 

 

 

Rick felt anger in his belly

 

 

 

"where you spying on me ?? " Rick spat, feeling vulnerable

 

 

 

"wouldn't call it spying.....some of my people were in town and saw the fucking show you put on..." Negan shrugged

 

 

 

'' saviors were in my town ?? '' Rick's eyes widened

 

 

 

Negan smirked to himself

 

 

"its Hershel's town..deputy .....and yeh, it's funny, we look just like real law abiding citizens, nothing like the murderous, thieving  assholes all those wanted posters make us out to be" he said condescendingly

 

 

 

Rick's lips curled up slightly at his tone

 

 

 

"well your fucking snitch got it all wrong " Rick snapped defensively

 

 

 

"oh yeh, which part exactly? '' Negan pushed himself off the barbershop wall and stepped closer to Rick, cigarette hanging off his lower lip, eyes trained on Rick

 

 

 

Rick was silent and his eyes darted to the street, feeling suddenly very claustrophobic in the small space

 

 

 

'' ......were you high ??...." Negan questioned

 

 

 

" No" Rick yelled defensively

 

 

 

"No" Negan questioned

 

 

 

" NO..did i fucking stutter " Rick yelled 

 

 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's arm and pulled up the sleeve of his long shirt, twisting it upwards revealing Rick's fresh stitches

 

 

 

"then what the fuck is this shit about then..cause you sure as shit didn't have them when I saw you last" Negan roared, cigarette clenched in his teeth

 

 

 

"it's none of your fucking business what happened" Rick grabbed his arm out of Negan's hand, angrily

 

 

 

''YOU ARE MY FUCKING BUSINESS RICK" Negan bellowed, eyes fierce

 

 

 

'' what happens to me, in my life when we are not together is none of your concern, nor is what goes on in this town, you are not apart of our community...your just outlaw scum..." Rick spat defensively, feeling anger rising up in his belly before he realised what he had just said

 

 

 

Negan's mouth twitched, his eyes seemed to turn black in the moonlight, making him  look dangerous

 

 

He slowly closed the distance between them, like a predator stalking his prey..rick felt unbelievably meek

 

 

Negan removed the cigarette from his lips and licked them, Rick's eyes flicking down to watch his tongue dart back into his mouth

 

 

He leaned in close, stubbing out his cigarette on the wall behind Rick, the butt making amber colors flick off the timber and  put one hand on the wall beside Rick's head

 

 

 

Rick could smell the strong smell of tobacco, and Negan's  hot breath on the shell of his ear

 

 

"I'd Watch that pretty mouth of yours, Grimes,I may like coming in your ass, but that doesn't mean I won't slit your fucking throat if you ever call me that again ...do I make myself clear?? " he whispered, sending a shiver up Rick's spine

 

 

 

Rick was silent and slightly intimidated, Negan never acted like he was the big bad monster everyone made him out to be, he was always so different with Rick

 

 

 

Negan pushed back off the wall, looking at Rick directly in the eyes, hazel burning with anger

 

 

 

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME RICK" he screamed in Rick's face

 

 

 

the tension was thick and Rick felt closed in in the small area..the whiskey had worn off and he had a pounding head

 

 

 

He suddenly remembered why he stayed back in town in the first place...to get his belongings back

 

 

 

Rick had to get out of this narrow space, that felt like it was closing in on him with Negan breathing down his neck..he needed his opium..his heart was racing..

 

 

 

He went to leave

 

 

"where you going??'' Negan spat and pulled Rick back and shoved him against the building wall

 

 

 

'' Get your fucking hands off me" Rick screamed in Negan's face

 

 

 

"I don't have to fucking explain myself to you or anyone else...ill do what I fucking like, ill take what I fucking like and take down anyone threatening this town and its citizens..without having to explain my actions to you or the old man ....got it" he gritted his teeth at Negan, poking him in the chest with his finger, angrily

 

 

 

Negan just stood in front of him a small smirk on his face

 

 

Rick had had enough of this bullshit..how fucking dare Negan spy on him, then stand there and make him feel like a scolded child because he didn't tell him everything that happened?? he had shit to do and do it now while he had the cover of the night still

 

 

 

He stormed past Negan and out into the street crossing the road and walked fast up onto the side of the road

 

 

 

suddenly he was grabbed from behind and thrown up against the blacksmith's store

 

 

 

"what the fuck " he yelled, surprised

 

 

 

 he spun around expecting to see  Negan, but  it was the stranger from the saloon, the one who wanted his money back

 

 

 

 Rick  instantly put his hands down to his waist, forgetting Hershel had taken his holster and weapons

 

 

 

"who the fuck are you" Rick spat, feeling very naked without his weapons to protect himself with..fucking Hershel

 

 

 

the stranger narrowed his eyes in the dim light

 

 

 

" Youll find out soon enough asshole, my boss sent me to get you..now we can do this the easy way or the hard way" he smirked looking down at Rick's waist

 

 

 

''A deputy without his holster.. the easy way it is " he grinned and went to grab Rick

 

 

 

Rick punched him in the jaw "I'm not going anywhere with you " he yelled awaiting the man to retaliate

 

 

 

"you fucking prick" the stranger yelled and swung at Rick

 

 

 

Rick squinted his eyes, expecting a smack in the jaw that never came, instead, he looked up and saw the man's hand being held mid swing by another's hand

 

 

 

"whos your friend Grimes ?? " Negan purred, as he twisted the stranger's hand

 

 

 

 Rick heard a snap of his bones breaking as the man screamed in pain and fell to the ground on his knees, Negan still had his grip on the man's hand

 

 

 

"fuuuck..let me go..you bastard you broke my fucking fingers " the man screamed out on the ground

 

 

 

"your lucky I didn't break your fucking spine for putting your fucking hands on what's mine" Negan purred, possessively, leaning over the man

 

 

 

Rick didn't like to admit it, but he loved when Negan became possessive, it was a real turn on

 

 

 

he twisted the man's broken hand, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

"ahhh iii...m ..my boss wants a word with him.." the man yelled, as Negan twisted his hand more

 

 

 

"whos your boss ?? " Rick yelled, wondering who the hell would send someone to come and retrieve him ??

 

 

 

the man was silent, so Negan twisted his hand even more and he screamed out in pain, his head now on the dirt

 

 

 

"Be a good lad and answer the deputy ,before I fucking slit your throat and make you bleed all over his nice boots" Negan gritted his teeth, looming over the man

 

 

 

the man was silent except for his heavy breathing, as he tried to hide his intense pain

 

 

 

Negan let go of the man's hand and proceeded to kick him in the ribs

 

 

He fell to the ground on his stomach as Negan kicked him over and over

 

 

Rick looked on as Negan proceeded to kick the man several times as he yelled out in agony and pleaded for him to stop

 

 

 

The deputy in Rick felt slightly sorry for this poor scum bag, and he glanced up at Negan

 

 

 

"Negan what the fuck !! you're gonna kill him...knock it off " Rick yelled, pushing Negan back off the man

 

 

 

"nnnegan" the man on the dirt mumbled

 

 

 

both Rick and Negan looked down at him

 

 

 

"you know this fuck ? " Rick spat at Negan

 

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows at Ri,ck and bent over, grabbing a chunk of the man's hair and pulling upwards on it roughly so his face was visible in the moonlight

 

 

 

A sudden look of surprise swept over Negan's face ,like he had seen a ghost

 

 

 

Wyatt.. ??'' Negan whispered and let go of the man's hair abruptly and stepped  away from him

 

 

 

Rick looked at Negan and back down at the man

 

 

 

'' yeh..'' the man mumbled in pain and started to get up slowly, holding his ribs, looking pained

 

 

 

"last time we laid eyes on each other, I told you I'd fucking kill you if I ever saw you again" Negan gritted his teeth

 

 

 

''Now you are in my town, trespassing on my territory.... " Negan glared at the stranger, completely ignoring Rick

 

 

 

who's town now, Rick thought ?? 

 

 

 

Wyatt licked his bloody lip, grimacing as  Rick looked between the two men

 

 

 

"You know this asshole ? "' Rick yelled again, like Negan didn't hear him the first time

 

 

 

Negan didn't take his eyes off Wyatt " Yeh I know this fucking  traitor " Negans spat, pushing Wyatt in the chest

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' I'm no fucking traitor..you told us if we wanted to leave, we had your blessing " Wyatt bared his teeth at Negan

 

 

 

"yeh leave...not  fucking steal my horses and weapons" Negan spat, pushing Wyatt up against the building roughly

 

 

 

Rick blinked several times, had the two men forgotten he was standing there like a stale bottle of piss ??

 

 

 

'' this fuck" he glared at Rick and Rick bared his teeth

 

 

 

"..he killed harry and Joe yesterday...." he spat venom at Rick

 

 

 

Negan looked at Rick and something swept across his face like fear...but Rick must of read it wrong,because Negan wasn't afraid of anything or anybody

 

 

 

"was Shane with them...was that fucking sick son of a bitch in this town?? " he spoke to Wyatt, teeth bared

 

 

 

Rick immediately looked at Negan when he heard Shane's name mentioned.. was this asshole one of Shane's men?? did Negan know him ??

 

 

 

"you're one of Shane's fucking minions" Rick yelled

 

 

 

Wyatt swallowed a large lump in his throat as he looked at Negan, seemingly ignoring Rick

 

 

 

"he didn't...he didn't know this was your territory Negan..I swear" Wyatt stammered

 

 

 

"BULLSHIT" Negan yelled, making both Wyatt and Rick jump slightly

 

 

 

"what the fuck is going on ?? " Rick yelled

 

 

 

"..they were just passing through, getting some whores and whiskey..then  this fuck, kills Harry and Joe..my buddies" he bared his teeth at Rick

 

 

 

" and wounded Shane seriously" he added

 

 

 

Rick lunged at the man, but Negan's hand was holding him back by his chest

 

 

 

"Easy there  cowboy" he glanced at Rick

 

 

 

"you know this murdering son of a bitch Negan  ??'' Wyatt looked at Rick

 

 

"Shane's the fucking murdered, he killed my family..raped them ....my fucking son was 9 years old..9" Rick's heart was pounding through his chest in anger, his face twisted in that of a grieving father and husband

 

 

 

''The deputy has  killed far fewer people than you Wyatt...so don't go acting like a fucking saint" Negan spat

 

 

 

the man stepped back slightly looking between Rick and Negan

 

 

 

"Shane sent me to get this asshole and bring him back to our camp..he wants his revenge...he.... ." Wyatt looked meek and fell silent mid sentence,  under Negan's gaze 

 

 

"You tell Shane I'm happy to meet up anytime, anywhere for round two ...ill cut off his remaining fingers and shove them down his fucking throat, while I fucking cut his eyes out of his head with the knife he left at my families bodies ..any asshole who rides beside him, ill fucking kill too..just like your sick fucking friends " Rick smirked confidently

 

 

 

Rick took a swing at Wyatt connecting with his jaw, and the two men fell to the dirty ground scuffling

 

 

 

 

Negan was frozen in his own thoughts. Shane was responsible for Rick's family's deaths..how could he have not made the connection earlier ??

 

 

 

 Negan looked down dumbly as the two men were throwing punches at one another, Rick having the upper hand

 

 

 

Negan shook himself out of his daze and grabbed Rick by his shirt collar, pulling him off Wyatt and throwing him back slightly

 

 

 

"the fuck Negan " Rick yelled, wiping the blood off his lip

 

 

 

Negan pulled Wyatt up by his hair roughly and slammed him face first up against the blacksmith store with a loud thud  !!

 

 

 

"fucking hell Negan" Wyatt groaned

 

 

 

"This ain't your fucking fight Negan" Rick yelled in Negan's ear

 

 

 

"back off Grimes before you get hurt...'' he glared at Rick, baring his teeth

 

 

 

he pushed right up to Wyatt's back, mouth close to  his ear

 

 

"This piece of horse shit  is leaving town right now..isn't that right Wyatt ??'' he  yelled in Wyatt's ear, pushing his face into the hard wood by his head even more

 

 

 

"aahhh fuck..yes...yeh ok " he yelled in pain

 

 

 

"Negan " Rick yelled

 

 

 

Negan glanced at Rick and let go of Wyatt, stepping back slightly

 

 

 

Wyatt turned around cautiously, adjusting his clothes

 

 

 

"This prick is taking me to Shane right now...this has nothing to do with you Negan for fucks sake" Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

Negan ignored Rick  and grabbed the front of Wyatt's shirt, leaning in inches away from his face, teeth bared, brows knitted together, eyes wild with untamed malice

 

 

 

"get the fuck outta my fucking sight...and you tell that mother fucker  Shane if I see him or any other assholes I know are associated with him in this town or this area again,  the Saviors will reign down hell on you all, and leave no one alive to tell the tale.....  you know from personal experience what I'm capable of...." Negan gritted his teeth, eyes going black

 

 

 

"Negan" Rick urged

 

 

 

"shut the fuck up Rick" he didn't look at Rick, as he glared intensely at Wyatt

 

 

 

"do you understand me? ''Negan spat at Wyatt

 

 

 

Wyatt was stunned, eyes wide, mouth open

 

 

 

''DO YOU FUCKING GET ME??'' Negan screamed, raming Wyatt back against the wall, slamming his head against the hard wood

 

 

 

'yyee...yes'' he stammered, looking petrified

 

 

 

Negan glared at him, his eyes dark with anger

 

 

 

he let him go and stepped back a few paces

 

 

 

Wyatt straightened up his shirt once again and glanced at Rick and left

 

 

 

Rick stepped toward him

 

 

 

"This ain't over you fucking bastard " he went after Wyatt and Wyatt turned around, slightly surprised 

 

 

 

Negan suddenly  grabbed Rick by the front of the throat and slammed him up against the wall, that Wyatt was just on

 

 

 

"its fucking over rick..let it go before I fucking lose my shit..this asshole has put me in a real fucking bad mood now " he glared at Wyatt, while holding Rick's neck, squeezing

 

 

 

Rick grabbed at Negan's hands, trying to get air in his lungs, as  he began chocking out for air

 

 

 

"get the fuck outta here " he snapped at Wyatt

 

 

 

Wyatt eyed Rick and glanced  at Negan quickly and walked off into the darkness

 

 

 

Negan watched him leave and glanced  back at Rick, letting him go

 

 

 

Rick fell off the wall, hunched over grabbing at his neck and coughing for air

 

 

 

when he stood up, Negan was glaring in the direction Wyatt had gone

 

 

 

Rick rubbed his neck and glared at Negan

 

 

 

''that was not your fucking place to send that fuck away..I want to have it out with Shane " Rick yelled

 

 

 

"He killed my family..Hershel let him get away..now you" Rick spat in his face and went to go after Wyatt

 

 

 

Negan grabbed him again by the stitched arm this time and threw him back against the wall, as Rick hissed in pain

 

 

 

"the fuck ...fuck off Negan" Rick threw a fist and connected with Negan's jaw, sending him stumbling back into the street

 

 

 

Rick was shocked, he didn't mean to hit him

 

 

 

Negan  stood up straight, licking his bloody lip with his tongue, Rick's eyes dropped down to it and back up to Negans blazing eyes

 

 

 

"cheap shot asshole" Negan smirked

 

 

 

"I've been after Shane for 3 years now, you know that..now he's looking for me..that prick could have taken me straight to him and his camp..what's wrong with you ?? ..this had nothing to do with you" Rick spat and went to leave again

 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's shirt collar, holding him in place and hit him in the jaw, making Rick stumble back into the store wall

 

 

 

Negan was fast like a snake striking and grabbed his throat again, baring his teeth in his face, inches apart from Rick's

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widened at the sight of  Negan's cold eyes

 

 

 

"you aren't going after him, you got it Grimes ?? ..Shane is fucking dangerous, he will rip you the fuck apart, he gets off on that kinda shit, he's a fucking sick fuck and I ain't going to let you just walk into his camp and get fucking slaughtered ..you hear me?? '' Negan bellowed in Rick's face, letting his shirt collar go angrily

 

 

 

Rick looked at Negan bewildered..how did he know so much about Shane and how did he know that Wyatt asshole ??

 

 

 

'' Tell me how you know Shane ?? '' Rick whispered, not wanting to know the truth

 

 

 

Negan was silent and closed his eyes, looking to the ground, sighing loudly

 

 

 

" Negan ?? " Rick said ,slightly louder 

 

 

 

"CAUSE HES MY BROTHER '' Negan yelled, turning his back on him and putting his hands on his hips, head hung to the ground

 

 

 

Rick felt instantly sick and filled with betrayal

 

Chapter 8

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"What?'' he whispered, feeling  nausea churning in his belly

 

 


Negan didn't turn around

 

 


"he's my step brother actually...his daddy was my stepfather'' he huffed

 

 


" he was a  real fucking piece of shit too....Shane is tainted from the same fucked up brush " Negan added

 

 


Rick blinked as he began to feel his palms sweating

 

 


"We were inseparable in our younger years, grew into men and something changed..Shane changed" Negan barely whispered

 

 


"he...he began..doing sick shit..wanting to do sick shit ,rape..rape anything he could get his hands on, he liked it, he like the rush it gave him" Negan turned around not making eye contact with Rick

 

 


"he'd kill for the fun of it, the sick fucking pleasure..hed get this look in his eye that wasn't human like" he furrowed his brows trying to find the words

 

 


Rick's face was emotionless as his jaw twitched

 

 


"We  lead the saviors together at one time, but when he  was doing more and more sick shit out on the road, I banished him, I had to, he wasn't my brother anymore, he fucking disgusted me....we agreed this was my territory and he had the west and if he ever strayed into this area I would fucking gut him and hang him on a fucking  pole...he took off with several of my fucking horses and weapons..several men left with him too, fucking traders " he snapped

 

 


"I haven't seen him or even mentioned his name in over 8 years..I've heard stories of people being killed and raped in such a manner that it made me fucking physically sick..I knew it was him..I fucking knew deep down...." he finally looked up to Rick

 

 


Rick was momentarily stunned, he blinked several times

 

 


" so you knew it was him " he barely whispered

 

 


Negan looked at him confused

 

 


"you knew  all along it was him that killed my family" he said wide eyed

 

 


"what?? ....no... of course fucking not Rick " Negan furrowed his brows, looking dejected

 

 


"you fucking liar" Rick yelled, making Negan blink

 

 


"I told you every fucking detail...everything" he gritted his teeth

 

 


"And you knew all along it was him, your fucking brother, you knew his name, where I could fucking find him and you didn't say a fucking thing" Rick bared his teeth

 

 


Negan looked like he'd been slapped in the face

 

 


"don't you fucking put this on me asshole....how the fuck did I know he was the one responsible for your families deaths huh ?? " he spat

 

 


"you knew he rapes and kills..you said so yourself" he spat

 

 


"no one else in this state has been known to rape fucking women..men..children" he snapped thinking of Carl

 

 


"you knew and you said nothing..you've been using me this whole time" Rick whispered

 

 

 


Negan looked at him hurt

 

 

 

"you know that ain't true Rick, I fucking care about you, you son of a bitch" his lip curled up in anger

 

 


"I didn't fucking know Rick I swear..you know id fucking tell you..you bloody know it" Negan spat

 

 


"that night, you know what I saw..... their bodies" he looked down at the ground feeling light headed, tears forming in his eyes

 

 


Negan stepped forward and Rick shot his head up to him, furious

 

 


"you know what I went through and he was your fucking brother the whole time" he yelled

 

 


"I didn't fucking know Rick, for fucks sake" Negan yelled back

 

 


Rick ran a hand down his stubble, this couldn't be real...Negan and Shane..brothers,....this whole damn time

 

 


"...that fuck has been fucking dead to me for over 8 years.." Negan said softly and  stepped forward again and touched Rick's arm

 

 


Rick recoiled to the side like Negan had cut him with a knife, looking at him with ultimate betrayal in his eyes

 

 


"I believed your fucking lies all this time" he whispered, looking at Negan, wide eyed

 

 


"what fucking lies...i never lied to you about anything ?" Negan said furrowing his brows

 

 

 

"you were just using me, fucking me, making me fall for you so you could tell Shane to keep out of the area, keep tabs on me, making sure we wouldn't run into each other, cause you know what id do to him if I got that second chance" Rick yelled

 

 

 

Negan almost laughed at how ridiculous that shit sounded

 

 

 

"What !! is this shit amusing to you ?? '' Rick yelled

 

 

 

"Are you even listening to yourself grimes..you've fucking lost it " Negan smirked,shaking his head at Rick

 

 

 

Rick's hands clenched into fists, Negan was making a mockery of him

 

 

 

"Yeah,  I lost it alright, lost it to ever think this was a good idea '' Rick snapped, waving his hands between the two men

 

 

 

Negan abruptly stopped smirking, his face twitched slightly

 

 

 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean huh " he took a step toward the younger man, a menacing look on his face

 

 

 

Rick glared at Negan

 

 

 

"you knew it was Shane, who else rapes and kills innocent people, families ??? ''

 

 

 

"plenty of men" Negan yelled

 

 

 

"do you..or I ?? or any of your men?? Hershel, jerry?? the men in the town... NO" Rick yelled

 

 

 

''there's only  one sick son of a bitch around these parts that is capable of doing that and you are related to him" Rick  spat

 

 

 

Negan looked hurt at Rick's words

 

 

 

"We ain't related   asshole, I'm NOTHING like him and you god damn know it " Negan yelled angrily, pointing his finger towards Rick

 

 

 

Rick took a step back, the look on his face was that of total deception and hurt, Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"you aren't actually blaming me for this shit are you ??" Negan cocked his head to the side

 

 

 

Rick was silent, his face unreadable

 

 

 

"I don't have any say in my brother's actions, I'm not his keeper" Negan yelled

 

 

 

"no, but you knew what he was like, what he did, what he does for kicks....you could have stopped it all before you told him to leave..you could have ended him.... maybe my family would still be alive if you had " Rick's eyes widen at the realization he had just made

 

 

 

"oh you have got to fucking be kidding me right now Grimes  '' Negan scoffed

 

 

 

"you killed them" he barely whispered

 

 

 

"What !!!! " Negan yelled, a shocked look on his face

 

 

 

"you are just as much to blame for this as that sack of horse shit " Rick spat

 

 

 

"don't you fucking say that to me.. I didn't kill your fucking family" Negan bared his teeth, malice growing in his eyes

 

 

 

"they died because you couldn't protect them" he yelled, unaware of what had just come out of his mouth in pure frustration

 

 

 

Rick looked like he had been punched in the stomach, the color drained from his face and he stood completely still

 

 

 

Negan's face froze as well

 

 

 

"Rick.. I didn't mean" Negan began looking mournful

 

 

 

"shut the fuck up" Rick spat

 

 

 

Negan looked at him rejected

 

 

 

"I can't believe you just said that to me" Rick whispered feeling like the world was crashing in on him...everyone was turning on him

 

 

 

"you know I didn't fucking mean it" Negan yelled defensively

 

 

 

"yeah you did, it's what you've been thinking this whole time...its the same thing Hershel thinks but never says, I can see it on his face every day..... I disappoint him..he blames me for their deaths"

 

 

 

"no one blames you Rick...come on " Negan sighed loudly and touched Rick's upper arm

 

 

 

Rick looked blankly at him and flinched away of his touch

 

 

 

"don't fucking touch me...get outta here..... I never want to see you again" Rick whispered 

 

 

 

Negan knitted his brows

 

 

 

"you don't fucking mean that" he smiled like Rick was joking

 

 

 

"I'm deadly serious...I was fucking insane to even start this with a fucking outlaw...what was I even thinking ?? "

 

 

 

"you weren't thinking with this " he prodded a finger into Rick's forehead

 

 

 

"you were thinking with this " Negan brushed his hand up against Rick's cock in his pants, smirking

 

 

 

Rick was momentarily stunned as Negan closed in on him

 

 

 

"you like me inside of you, making you feel like nothing else matters...I make all your fucking pain go away and you know it... that's why you love riding my cock and I sure as fuck like fucking you with it" he began kissing Rick's neck

 

 

 

Rick's eyes closed as his cock began to jump at Negan's touch as it always did

 

 

 

He agreed, he liked being with Negan, he made him feel safe, and yeh, he liked him fucking him

 

 

 

Negan's hands ran up under Rick's shirt which was still hanging loosely open, as his hot hands touched Rick's cool skin, nuzzling into his neck

 

 

 

"you like that Grimes huh?? like when I touch you ?? put my fucking hands all over you ?? " Negan purred in Rick's ear

 

 

 

Negan's finger ran along the hem of Rick's pants as he began to lay kisses down Rick's neck

 

 

 

Rick suddenly felt anger in his gut.... and pushed Negan off him roughly

 

 

 

"NO" he yelled, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

"I'm going after Shane and you can't stop me" he started to do up the buttons on his shirt

 

 

 

"use your fucking head Grimes, I said he's fucking dangerous, he's more than that .... he's sick, he will do things to you you couldn't even imagine....  fucking gruesome shit  and he'll laugh while doing it"

 

 

 

"and I can do worse things to him" Rick spat doing up the last button and tucking his shirt back into his pants, glaring up at Negan

 

 

 

"youre not well enough to be making this kind of stupid decision " Negan said, his face concerned

 

 

 

"what ?? '' Rick spat

 

 

"im perfectly fine "

 

 

 

"Yeah, that's why Hershel took your weapons away...I bet he took your opium too " Negan looked Rick up and down,  the exact same way Hershel would look at Rick

 

 

 

Rick's face twisted  with rage and annoyance

 

 

 

"you don't know shit, why don't you just leave because we have nothing else to say to each other" Rick began to leave and head towards the Jail to retrieve his belongings

 

 

 

he was sick of this conversation and wanted to get boots and get going, he wouldn't have a clue where he would start, but he wouldn't give up, not this time

 

 

 

"Rick this is  stupid,youll get yourself killed " Negan yelled out behind him

 

 

 

Rick ignored him and walked around the back of the jail, boots was gone as Rick's eyes widened

 

 

 

Hershel must have taken him home with him...but why ?? he knew Rick was still in town

 

 

 

"FUCK" he yelled out in frustration and kicked the wooden fence with his boot

 

 

 

he suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach ...if Hershel had taken Boot's home, maybe he had taken Rick's belongings home too ??

 

 

 

He hastily undid the lock with the keys he had in his pocket and entered through the cells

 

 

The office was in darkness, as he made his way to  Hershel's desk and rummaged through it..nothing

 

 

 

"Shit " he whispered as his heart rate began to thud

 

 

 

He stood up, hands on his hips and his eye flicked over to Jerry's desk and he ran over to it, looking through drawers and underneath it to no avail

 

 

 

"you fucking old son of a bitch" he mumbled to himself

 

 

 

he went and looked over at his desk as he knew he kept a few pills hidden in the back. he bent down rummaging through his desk and laid his hand on a small wooden box..that was it. he smiled to himself and pulled it out

 

 

 

He sat on his desk hunched over and opened the box

 

 

 

it was empty !!!!

 

 

 

Rick felt rage rising inside of him and he clenched the small box tightly, gritting his teeth. Hershel had taken everything away from him like a child being punished. Is that what was happening, he was being punished?? everything was fine until Shane had shown up and Hershel took his side. this is what was happening, Hershel would rather believe his daughter's murderer over Rick, his son in law, who he always said was like a son to him

 

 

He boiled over with frustration and humiliation and threw the wooden box at the wall, watching it smash into small pieces

 

 

 

"YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUKER " he screamed at the wall

 

 

 

"wow Grimes, take it easy...what the hell are you  breaking into your office for anyway ?? " Negan's voice startled Rick and he stood up quickly, like hed been caught out

 

 

 

Negan was looking around the dim office

 

 

 

"what the fuck are you doing in here ?? " Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"Well  what kinda gentleman would I be if I didn't walk you home Grimes,  I mean any asshole could take advantage of you " he grinned, his perfect white teeth glowing in the dim room

 

 

 

"im not fucking breaking in,im a deputy remember, I have a set of keys and it's none of your business what im looking for" Rick snapped, looking around the room casually

 

 

 

Now he would have to go home to the ranch and get the things

 

 

 

"your looking for your weapons and pills daddy confiscated aren't you ?? , it no real mystery" Negan shrugged casually as he leaned on Jerry's desk, picking up an item on his desk and looking at it, eyes flicking up to Rick

 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

 

"why don't you let me help you rick ?? ...... we can go after Shane together " Negan looked at him

 

 

 

"what ??"' Rick felt his heart palpitate..was he serious ??

 

 

 

"yeh, ill get some of my boys together and we can go look for him together, it's gotta be  better than going out there alone and getting yourself killed, getting Hershel and Annette all in a huff about ya......I have 8 strong men,who have beef with Shane aswell,they'd be more than happy to tag along " Negan pushed himself off the desk and stalked towards Rick

 

 

 

"what do you say Grimes huh ??'' he tilted his head looking Rick up and down

 

 

 

"your men would ride alongside a deputy  ?? " Rick cocked up an eyebrow

 

 

 

"They don't have to know your a deputy " Negan smirked

 

 

 

"yeah, that will be a fucking shit show when they did find out" he scoffed

 

 

 

"no one will dare touch you .....if they do, ill fucking kill them" Negan's eyes flashed up to Rick's, slight possessiveness in them

 

 

 

Rick was silent...he could use some muscle, he knew Shane was dangerous and he was only one man after all

 

 

 

Rick was in his own head when he noticed Negan was suddenly right  in front of him

 

 

 

"let me help you, Rick..please I don't want to see you  killed at the  hands of my asshole brother and his rapist gang" he ducked his head to meet Rick's eyes, filled with concern

 

 

 

Rick was silent and looked at Negan's intense eyes

 

 

 

Negan leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Rick's lips

 

 

 

"please Rick,  I can't lose you" he whispered against Rick's lips and rick felt a tug in his chest

 

 

 

"on one condition" he spoke

 

 

 

"anything deputy" Negan smirked

 

 

 

" you will help me get my weapons and pills back from Hershel's house..tonight....now" he whispered

 

 

 

Negan was silent and suddenly his face screwed up ,tightly

 

 

 

''FOR FUCKS SAKE RICK " He bellowed,  smashing his fist  on the desk, making Rick's ears hurt

 

 

 

Rick looked at him, bewildered

 

 

 

"I just offered up my assistance and my men, putting our lives on the line for you, and all you care bout is those fucking goddam pills" he screamed, making Rick flinch

 

 

 

"I can believe I even fucking thought you give a fuck  about anything other than those fucking things "

 

 

 

"I do" Rick yelled in defense

 

 

 

"what  ?? whinging about your family and Shane..im so fucking sick of hearing the same sob story rick you know that huh?? we've all lost someone close to us..and you act like youre the only one grieving...... we have  all had to learn how to let go of people and keep living...but not you, no, you are like a fucking dog with a bone" he yelled waving his hands around the office

 

 

 

 

"tell me what you really think Negan..fuck " Rick scoffed

 

 

 

Negan  glared at Rick

 

 

 

"you ain't going after Shane, cause I'm not gonna let you walk in there and get fucking killed" he yelled 

 

 

 

"im not going to get myself killed, he won't be expecting me, ill ambush them" he puffed his chest out feeling confident

 

 

 

Negan almost laughed

 

 

 

"have those fucking pills finally  fucked with your head  Grimes, do you even hear yourself ???  you don't even know where to fucking start looking for him ?? what don't you get about Shane having more men than  you ?? he is dangerous and cunning,  and he will fucking split you in half and even not blink an eye..do you fucking get that??? "

 

 

 

"I don't care" Rick spat

 

 

 

"well you better start fucking caring Rick, because you've got no hope against him and no damn machete or opium is going to help that" he yelled

 

 

 

"that's your opinion" Rick yelled and began to leave the office

 

 

 

Negan grabbed his upper arm roughly and pushed him back in front of him

 

 

 

"well it's a lot better than yours" Negan growled in his face

 

 

 

"Hershel took those pills off you for a reason Rick ...... everyone can see you have a problem with them, everyone except you !! " he yelled 

 

 

 

suddenly his face softened and he looked directly into Rick's eyes

 

 

 

"I care about you honey, it fucking kills me when I see you doing this shit to yourself  " he pushed up Rick's shirt sleeve, looking down at his stitches

 

 

"I know you've been through hell and back , i know you have baby, I do,no one gets that more than me Rick, and I know i can't take that hurt away,but im fucking trying Rick...everytime we are together im fucking trying to help you forget you need those damn things...but it's never enough .......im never enough" he furrowed his brows at Rick

 

 

 

"I need them" Rick whispered,not looking at Negan

 

 

 

Negan closed his eyes and sighed

 

 

 

"you dont honey, i can help you" he looked at Rick, intensely

 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

"What makes you think I need your help ?? " he suddenly lashed out,gritting his teeth

 

 

 

"I've never needed anyone's help before and im not about to ask for it now...I can take care of myself " Rick spat

 

 

 

"I know that sweetheart.....i dont want to see you get hurt thats all " he barely whispered,trying to keep his anger at bay with Rick

 

 

 

"I just wanna help you...let me and the boys help you" he looked at Rick

 

 

 

Rick was silent and looked at Negan

 

 

 

'' ok" Rick simply said

 

 

 

"yes alright...ok now we are getting somewhere" Negan said, raising his voice

 

 

 

"ill agree to leave tomorrow morning when you've spoken to your men and ill leave my pills at home,you're right, I do  have a problem" he whispered

 

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows..this was too easy

 

 

 

"Are you fucking with me Grimes ?? '' he narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

"no,why ?? " he looked surprised

 

 

 

Negan was silent and pressed his lips into a thin line

 

 

 

"Lori and Carl wouldn't want me dying, getting senseless revenge for them" he began

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

"youre right...being obsessed with shane has  taken over my life ..it's consumed me" Rick looked to the floor

 

 

 

"I use the pills to try and run from my past, to help me cope with the war...Lori and Carl " he  whispered

 

 

 

Negan's heart broke for Rick

 

 

 

"i....I have a problem Negan" he sighed, running a hand over his stubble, glancing up to Negan, eyes filled with emotion

 

 

 

Negan took a few steps and closed the gap between the two men and wrapped his arms around Rick's shoulders

 

 

 

"it's ok honey...ill help you get past this and we will bring Shane down together"

 

 

 

he hugged Rick tightly

 

 

 

suddenly Negan felt cold hard Steele wrapped around his wrist and heard a clicking noise

 

 

 

He let go of Rick instantly, as his stomach dropped at the sight of a pair of handcuffs on his wrists

 

 

before he could comprehend what was happening,Rick had pulled both wrists downwards, where he was chained to a metal hook that had him tightly secured to the desk, not able to get free

 

 

 

His eyes flciked uo to Rick slowly..he had fucking played him

 

 

 

Rick's face was emotionless

 

 

 

" Rick....I swear, you better be planning to do something really kinky with me tied up here like this .....I shit you not " Negan said, worried

 

 

 

'' I'm sorry Negan" Rick whispered, looking him directly in the eyes

 

 

 

Negan's face twisted in anger and he lunged at Rick,angrily

 

 

 

Rick took a step back,calmly

 

 

 

"you cant help me,i need to do this myself "

 

 

"let me the fuck outta these fucking cuffs  Grimes" Negan spat

 

 

 

Rick was silent and turned around looking up on the wall where a Winchester rifle sat, displayed on two hooks 

 

 

 

" ok, you're seriously pissing me off now Grimes... let me the fuck outta these" Negan yelled, as he pulled at the desk angrily, trying to pull his wrists out of the cuffs

 

 

 

"im gonna kick your fucking ass if you dont take these the fuck off now, I swear to fuck " Negan yelled

 

 

 

Rick seemingly ignored him and grabbed a chair and stood up on it, bringing  the rifle down off the wall and looking at it

 

 

 

"what the fuck are you doing ?? " Negan said, worriedly

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him

 

 

 

"dont worry Negan,im not going to kill you" he smiled

 

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"you can't leave me here, in the  fucking sheriff's office of all places" he said calmly

 

 

 

" no one but me and your men know what you look like Negan.. you're a fucking ghost because of that bandana" Rick pointed to his red bandana around his neck

 

 

 

"yeh well , when the old man turns up tomorrow morning,you dont  think hell take one look at it and know im  a fucking savior?? '' Negan yelled ,wide eyed

 

 

 

"you cant leave me here like this ,ill be fucking hanged" he gritted his teeth at Rick,pulling on the cuffs

 

 

 

"Hershel wont hang you..you've done nothing wrong,give him some credit" Rick huffed, looking in the chamber of the Winchester

 

 

 

"get me fuck outta these Rick..Right fucking now " Negan yelled louder

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at him and walked slowly over to him, standing just far enough apart so Negan couldn't reach him 

 

 

 

" I'm truly sorry Negan, but you have given me no other choice" he said 

 

 

 

"get me the fuck outta these you fucking bastard " Negan lunged at Rick,making the solid wood table shift slightly

 

 

 

Rick stepped back, looking at the floor 

 

 

 

"when you get out of here, you come looking for me and have your revenge,but for now im going after shane  and i will not let anybody else die at my hands" he said glancing up at Negan

 

 

Negan stilled

 

 

 

"dont do this Rick,dont go out there alone, please im begging you...let me outta these and we can go together...no hard feelings" he tilted his head at him

 

 

 

"I care about you Negan" Rick began

 

 

 

"good, now let me outta these and we can talk  about this"

 

 

 

Rick shook his head

 

 

 

"we've talked enough..now I know you're related to Shane, I know you won't be able to kill him,youll try and stop me" Rick furrowed his brows at Negan

 

 

 

"bullshit...i'd kill that sick  son of a bitch the first chance I get " Negan yelled

 

 

 

"then why didnt you go after him ?? you've had 8 fucking years " Rick snapped

 

 

 

"cause it wasn't a fucking priority Rick ..my camp  was,still is.....my people, I had to lead them, look after them" he yelled

 

 

 

"its not just outlaw grunts Rick,i have women and children, elderly in my camp"  Negan lowered his voice

 

 

 

Rick already knew that and he sighed

 

 

 

"you're a good man Negan,but you cant help me with this,i need to go alone" he looked at Negan

 

 

 

Negan shook his head

 

 

 

"please Rick, if i meant anything at all to you...let me outta these" he pleaded

 

 

 

Rick stared at him, intense blue eyes like ice, seemed to  stare into Negan's soul

 

 

 

"im sorry Negan" he lowered his head, looking at the rifle in his hands and began to walk away

 

 

 

"you mother fucking trador" Negan yelled,pulling at the cuffs,making the desk move again

 

 

 

"dont you fucking walk away from me Grimes,i swear to god ill fucking find you and fucking kill you" Negan roared, gritting his teeth and pulling on the cuffs, making his wrist bleed

 

 

Rick stilled, his back to Negan

 

 

 

"you do what you feel is right Negan, but I have to do this alone" he turned his head slightly

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

Rick turned right around , facing Negan,Winchester in his hand

 

 

 

Negan's face was filled with anger,betrayal, and hurt

 

 

 

"maybe one day, you can  forgive me" Rick whispered

 

 

 

Negan's lip curled up

 

 

 

"ill never fucking forgive you for this...you better hope shane fucking tears you apart because that's going to be the least of your worries, Cause when  i catch up to  you, and I will ....i am going to make you fucking regret you were ever spared that night your family wasn't  '' Negan narrowed his eyes,spitting venom at Rick

 

 

 

Rick's face flinched slightly at Negan's threat

 

 

 

They stared at eachother for what felt like hours, the tension in the small office was thick

 

 

Rick finally  averted his eyes first and glanced down at the rifle

 

 

 

"ill be seeing you" he moved the rifle in his hands  and turned to leave

 

 

 

"Rick" Negan said calmly

 

 

 

Rick stopped, his back to the older man

 

 

 

Negan was silent, obviously not finding the words to say

 

 

 

he moved his jaw in frustration and guilt and walked out of the office and through the cells,outside into the cool night air

 

 

 

"you fucking mother fucking son of a bitch,im going to fucking find you Grimes and I'm going to kill you" he could hear Negan yelling from inside the jail

 

 

 

he turned around and locked the back door,looking down at it for a moment,his heart breaking, feeling terribly guilty

 

 

 

He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath

 

 

 

Negan was still yelling, but it was mumbled by the time Rick walked back around the front and he stilled, listening to the man he cared for yelling in anger for inside the jail, where he left him cuffed to his desk

 

 

 

He looked up tp the night sky,a million stars shone down on him brightly and he smiled up at them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

wow Rick really betrayed Negan 😮

Chapter 9

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

2 years...2 years it had been since those tired blue eyes had laid eyes on that familiar sign, swinging in the breeze, upon two hooks

 

"Black River Welcomes You"

 

His jaw moved in annoyance as he clicked his tongue making boots begin to trot into the town he had long left in his past. He led Boots down the street as the townsfolk looked up at the stranger and their faces changed into astonishment as they recognized their former deputy. Rick rode, eyes fixed on the straight dirt main street as he left whispers behind him. He  set his sights squarely on the drug store and led boots  over

 

 

 

The years were rough out there hunting Shane, he had killed more men than he was willing to admit to get any scrap of information on the man that haunted his dreams. He had left town 2 years ago, with his lover handcuffed to his desk in the sheriff's office, taking Hershel's father's prized Winchester rifle, going to his house in the middle of the night, and stealing his weapons and belongings back from the man who loved him like a son. He wasn't proud of either of those things, but he had to find Shane, and nothing was going to stop him

 

 

 

He looked up to the old wooden sign that read 'Drugstore'  and dismounted Boot's, his only loyal friend for the last 2 years

 

 

 

he pulled his hat down over his eyes and took the 3 steps up to the door, hand hovering over the handle for a moment before entering. The bell above the door was like a bad memory as the druggist looked up, his face turning from a smile to pure shock

 

"Rick....Rick Grimes, is that you ?? " he narrowed his eyes

 

"Tom" rick nodded slightly and walked over to the counter

 

he took  his hat off, making his wild curls bounce in every direction, and brushed them back with his hand, placing his hat on the counter

 

 

 

His blue eyes narrowed

 

 

 

"opium " he said bluntly

 

 

 

Tom's face  jerked slightly and he looked Rick up and down



 

"Rick ...Hershel...." he began, as Rick rolled his eyes

 

 

"I don't want to hear it, I'm not interested in what he told you years ago, I'm no longer his deputy, so he can no longer tell you what you cant sell me.... I'm just a regular  paying customer now " Rick spat angrily

 

 

 

Tom blinked several times at Rick's gruff tone and reached under the counter pulling 2 bottles of opium out

 

 

Rick glanced down at them

 

 

"ill be needing about 8 boxes there Tom " his eyes flicked lazily back up to Tom

 

 

 

Tom furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"But I don't think ...." he began

 

 

Rick knitted his brows together, tilting his head slightly

 

 

 

"are you going to sell me them or will I have to go elsewhere ?? '' he snapped

 

 

 

Tom's mouth twitched slightly

 

 

 

"no..no Rick...I'm sorry" he said, giving Rick a weak smile and pulling several more bottles out from under the counter and putting them with the others

 

 

 

Rick looked at Tom for a few minutes, blue icy eyes staring right through him

 

 

 

He reached into his satchel and pulled out some coins, more than was necessary and threw them on the counter. He put his hat back on, pulling it down, just above his eyes, and put the bottles into his bag, glancing back up to tom

 

 

 

"you have a good day now tom" he winked at him and left the store

 

 

 

He shut the door and looked out into the street as people walked past going about their lives. He missed this town, it was his home after all. He inhaled a deep breath of air and walked down to Boots eyeing the saloon and back up the street to the jail.His jaw twitched and he sighed loudly. He undid boots from the pole and walked him over to the saloon, tying him up to the pole with other horses. he adjusted his satchel bag and ran a hand up Boot's neck as he passed him and took those familiar steps up and onto the saloon porch. the sound of chatter and drunk men rang in Rick's ears as he pushed the double doors inwards

 

 

Everyone suddenly stopped talking and looked up at Rick, their former deputy

 

 

The years had been rough out on the land, his hair was longer now, just past his shoulders, and looked just as wild as ever, as curls stuck out at the sides from underneath his hat, his face was tanned and weathered and he had a beard that was in need of razor 6 months ago, wild and bushy with a few more grey hairs in it than anyone in Black River had  last remembered

 

 

 

he narrowed his eyes as the room was deadly silent

 

 

 

His eyes darted around the room, and He held his head high and swaggered in through the saloon and over to the bar and banged his hand on the shiny polished top

 

 


the barman looked up and furrowed his brows

 

 


"Rick...Rick Grimes...it cant be" he said louder than necessary

 

 


a pair of malice eyes looked up from the cards they held in his hand and stared at the  man at the bar 

 

 


Rick took off his hat and tamed his curls best he could

 

 

 

"Does Hershel know your back in town Rick ?? he has sure been worried about you like we all have...I mean just disappearing without a single word like that.....''

 

 

 

"whiskey" Rick said bluntly

 

 

 

Gregory stopped mid sentence and furrowed his brows at Rick

 

 

 

Rick glared at him 

 

 

 

Gregory faltered for a moment, bending down and retrieved a glass out from under the bar and began pouring some whiskey into it

 

 

 

"the bottle" Rick said gruffly

 

 

 

Gregory looked at him concerned

 

 

 

"are you ok Rick  ??''

 

 

 

"just fucking fine Gregory....the bottle " he glared at the older man

 

 

 


Gregory's jaw twitched and he put the bottle of whiskey down in front of Rick and walked away to the other end of the bar, serving another  customer

 

 


Rick eyed him and picked up the bottle drinking straight from it, he slammed the bottle down, feeling the burn go down his throat. he opened his bag and spilled some pills out on the bar, playing with them as he took another swig of alcohol, he picked them up and swallowed them followed by a large mouthful of whiskey

 

 

 

He gritted his teeth, as he felt them go down, closing his eyes

 

 

The saloon was soon  full of chatter again as Rick sat at the bar and picked at the old scars on his arms

 

 

He felt eyes boring into his back and he turned around blue eyes darting around the crowded room, he knew most of the faces, but no one was looking at him

 

 

He spun back around to the bar, furrowing his brows

 

 


He finished half the bottle and stood up, putting his hat back on, pushing it down just above his eyes, when Gregory came back over as Rick threw some gold coins on the countertop

 

 

Gregory looked down at them and his eyes lit up

 

 

 

"well Rick that is very generous, looks like the years have been prosperous for you" he smiled down at the coins greedily

 

 

 

Rick huffed and turned and left the saloon, feeling eyes on his back as he pushed the double doors open

 

 

 

The sun was high in the sky and he pulled his hat down over his eyes and looked down at boots

 

 

 

he untied him and took him up the street to the jail, taking him around the back and letting him graze on some fresh straw Hershel had for his and Jerry's horses

 

 

 

He looked up to the building and felt a twinge of anxiety wash over him and entered through the cells in the back

 

 

 

He walked through and out into the office when Hershel and Jerry looked up to see who was coming in the back way

 

 

 

Their faces both froze, turned slightly pale and had a look of shock on them

 

 

 

Rick almost laughed at them, they looked exactly the same

 

 

 

"gentlemen" he tipped his hat

 

 

 

"it can't be" Hershel narrowed his old eyes at Rick, like he didn't believe he was standing there

 

 

 

"Rick" jerry stood up, mouth open

 

 

 

 

Rick stood awkwardly, as  the two men looked at him like he was a fucking ghost for a few moments

 

 

 

Rick took his hat off and hung it up on the hook that held the other two men's and sighed loudly

 

 

 

Suddenly Hershel raced over to him, wrapping his arms around him, giving him a tight hug

 

 

 

"I thought id never see you again boy...we were sure you were dead" he squeezed Rick tightly

 

 

 

Rick smiled and hugged Hershel, patting him on the back as Hershel didn't seem to want to let go

 

 

 

"I'm ok Hershel..its good to be home" he smiled weakly over at Jerry

 

 

 

Hershel finally let go, tears in his eyes, stepping back and looking Rick over

 

 

 

 

"Where have you been son ? " Hershel began,wiping the tears from his eyes

 

 

 

Rick looked to the floor, not proud of himself for the way he left without saying a thing to his family

 

 

 

"I've been hunting Shane, I'm sorry I didn't say good bye..i had to go "

 

 

 

Hershel was silent

 

 

" How long has it been Rick ?? '' jerry finally spoke

 

 

 

"2 years" Rick glanced at him and back at Hershel

 

 

 

"you could have told us son, Annette and the girls...we were all worried about you" he shook his head

 

 

 

"the stress you've burdened on  all of us" he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"I was in a bad place when I left " he looked down at his boots

 

 

 

"and we could have helped you son "

 

 

 

" no one could have helped me, I needed to do it for me, alone" he glanced up to Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel pressed his lips into a thin line

 

 

 

" and did you find what you were looking for out there Richard  ?? '' he crossed his arms across his chest

 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

 

"I never found Shane, no matter how  many outlaw scum I killed " he looked at Hershel

 

 

 

Hershel frowned

 

 

 

"Everyone told you it was a futile  and selfish vendetta " Hershel spat

 

 

 

"selfish" Rick raised both his eyebrows

 

 

 

"you had no thought of the people who loved you, who you left behind without a single word..I know you took back your weapons and pills Rick...you took my fathers Winchester off my wall too " he frowned

 

 

 

"i had to, i needed them back" Rick raised his voice

 

 

 

It wasn't his intention to yell or begin an argument with Hershel, but it was the same old conversation all over again

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly and put his hands on his hips

 

 

 

"I didnt come back to argue with you old man" he sighed

 

 

 

"then why did you finally come back...are you home for good ?  '' Hershel's eyes lit up

 

 

 

Rick glanced over at Jerry, silent

 

 

 

"Richard ?? '' Hershel looked at him concerned

 

 

 

"i...heard from a source that Shane was headed back down this way, a few states over" he whispered

 

 

 

"I thought i'd  let you know I'm all right and not to worry" he added

 

 

 

Hershel was silent as was Jerry

 

 

 

Rick's eyes darted between both men

 

 

 

"you only came back to go after Shane once again  !!! " Hershel  spat with a tone in his voice

 

 

 

"you didnt have the decency to let us know you were okay for over 2 years and now you're just passing through and leaving again" Hershel yelled

 

 

 

Rick felt his stomach churn in guilt

 

 

 

"Are you at least going to stay the night, come and have supper with the girls, they'd be thrilled to see you Richard" Hershel's eyes pleaded

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, he wasn't planning on it, but he had taken off without even a goodbye to the rest of his family

 

 

 

"please Richard" Hershel smiled weakly

 

 

 

suddenly the three men heard a gunshot and screams from people out in the street

 

 

 

"RICHARD" A  man's loud booming voice, hollered outside

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the somewhat familiar voice, that made his stomach twist in anxiety

 

 

 


"who the fuck is that ?? " Jerry yelled surprised, turning around to the street 

 

 

 

"It's Shane" Rick barely whispered, staring  out into the street, as his heart began to thud through his chest

 

 

 

 

 

" he wouldn't dare show his face here in town....would he?? " Jery said trying to convince himself

 

 

 

All 3 men glanced at each other, hands on their holsters, and  walked cautiously to the doorway of the jail overlooking the street

 

 

 

they saw 5 or so  men on horses with guns in their hands, some wearing bandanas pulled up over their faces, stopped just down the street from the jail

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  turned and looked at Jerry who looked scared shitless, he hadn't had much experience with outlaws, the town was quiet 99% of the time Rick was there, except for that one incident with Shane

 

"ok men, steady now.. let's stay calml " Hershel began

 

 

 

Rick looked at him shocked

 

 

 

"This ain't your fight old man..he wants me" he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"I regret not  standing  by your side all those years ago son, I'm not letting you think I don't trust you ever again" he smiled weakly at Rick

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes..this could easily end up going to absolute shit and they could all be killed

 

 

 

"let me go out first..you two go around the back, get the jump on them" Rick said, his voice shaking slightly

 

 

 

he'd been after Shane all these years, now he walks directly into  town, after the last incident where Rick cut off 4 of his fingers and killed two of his men

 

 

 

"no" Hershel spat

 

 

 

"jerry you go around the back and cut them off..Rick and I are going out there  together" he eyed Rick

 

 

 

Rick swallowed a large lump in his throat and looked at Hershel,wide eyed

 

 

 

"no Hershel...this could go south real quick, I'd rather have you at the back of these fucks,rather than out in  front " he said gritting his teeth

 

 

 

"IVE HEARD YOUVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME GRIMES, WELL IM HERE, COME AND FACE ME LIKE A FUCKING MAN'' Shane yelled from outside

 

 

 

Rick looked out into the street, feeling physically sick

 

 

 

he'd been thinking about facing  Shane again for 2 years, but now he was here, he felt sweat on his brow and his hands began to shake

 

 

 

suddenly they heard a woman's shrill scream and gunfire

 

 

 

Ricks eyes widen and they all looked outside

 

 

 

The men and Shane now had a woman being held by her hair, struggling beside their horses  in the street

 

 

"Jesus " jerry muttered

 

 

"ok,...jerry do as Hershel wants and go around the back and cut them off ok" Rick said, not looking at him, his attention focused on the woman who was now sobbing, frightened 

 

 

 

" IF YOU DONT COME OUT HERE GRIMES, I WILL KILL THIS PRETTY YOUNG LADY AND WILL CONTINUE  SHOTTING THE ASSHOLES OF BLACK RIVER  UNTIL YOU SHOW YOUR FUCKING FACE"  Shane bellowed as one of his men jerked the woman's hair making her scream out in pain

 


Rick  inhaled a deep breath,nodding to his colleagues, and walked calmly out into the street

 

 


" drop those weapons, let the young lady go and put your hands up  assholes" Rick yelled ,internally shitting himself

 

 


The  men all looked at each other and laughed, as Rick suddenly felt like a small child who wanted to run away and hide

 

 

 

the  woman whimpered as one of the men licked  his disgusting tongue up her face, laughing

 

 

 

"well Richard we finally meet again after all these years...you've killed many of my men trying to get me out of hiding...well here I am" he put both of his hands up in mock surrender, gun in his hand, smirking

 

 

 

"How the fuck did you know I was in town ??" Rick narrowed his eyes at Shane

 

 

 

Shane huffed and adjusted himself in the saddle

 

 

 

"one of my men saw you fucking waltz into the saloon, not more than a few hours ago" he smirked

 

 

 

Rick's jaw moved as Hershel came up beside him

 

 

 

"Now you listen here scum,let the lady go and leave town before you get yourselves killed" he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

Shane narrowed his eyes under his hat and began laughing

 

 

 

"it will be you that gets himself killed today old man...my only interest is in Richard there, he and I have some business to sort out, that I'm long overdue to collect on" he smirked down at Rick

 

 

 

"drop your weapons and let the lady go " Jerry yelled, voice cracking  behind the men, hand hovering over his holster 

 

 

 


All the men turned and looked at jerry, realising they were surrounded, all but Shane, he just  stared down at Rick

 

 

 
" Shane, we've got 3 lawmen with itchy trigger fingers eyeballing us" one man yelled at Shane 

 

 

 

Shane didnt take his eyes off Rick

 

 

 

"he ain't a lawman...he gave up his badge years ago..isn't that right Grimes" Shane smirked

 

 

 

"won't stop me from killing you...never stopped me killing your men  " he smirked

 

 

 

shane's face twisted in anger and he pulled out his gun, as his  men followed his lead

 

 

 

Rick,Hershel and jerry pulled out their guns

 

 

 

 every man had  their guns drawn and pointed at each other

 

 

 

the air was tense and everyone was on edge, eyes trained on one another. The only sound was coming from the scared woman, as she whimpered, struggling to get free

 

 


" We won't ask  again gentlemen, drop your weapons, let the lady go, and put your hands up...we don't tolerate scum in this town"  Hershel yelled out  

 

 

 

"who you calling scum asshole?? " one man huffed

 

 


"you,you  bastard" Rick spat

 

 

 

"raping and murdering innocent people..scum" he smirked, blue eyes laid on Shane

 

 

 

"who ??  like your whore of a wife and brat of a kid" Shane had an evil look on his face

 

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes, finger squeezing the trigger of his colt, when he  heard a gunshot next to him

 

 

 

 the man holding the woman by her hair, let out a cry of pain, grabbing his chest dramatically, letting go of the lady who screamed and ran off the  street

 

 

 

Rick blinked and looked beside him,Hershel had fired the shot

 

 

 

he looked back at the man  who had fallen off his horse and slumped over himself in the street

 

 

 

he didnt think and fired a shot at Shane ,missing him

 

 

 

his horse raised up on its hind legs, making a loud noise as the other men appeared momentarily stunned

 

 

 

"you fucking bastards" Shane yelled and began firing his gun, as  the dead man's horse ran off down the street frantic

 

 

 

one of Shane's men was trying to make a break for it, turning his horse around and galloping off down the street

 

 


jerry fired his gun and killed a man instantly, hitting him in the back as his horse kept running, out of sight

 

 

 

 he hid behind a store for cover as bullets began flying

 

 


Rick and Hershel took to opposites sides of the street to take cover behind various buildings as Shane's men looked frantically around as their horses stamped their feet and stomped around in circles, agitated

 

 


Rick's heart was racing as he glanced over at Hershel who was slumped against a building 

 

 

 

"Hershel " he yelled out across the street to the older man

 

 

 

he looked up and waved his hand, to indicate he was ok, but Rick wasn't convinced,he had to get across the street to him, he could be wounded

 

 


 men were yelling and gunshots were ringing in Rick's ears, as he made a run for it, shooting his colt at anything he could hit, not even looking

 

 

 

"Rick" jerry yelled out in panic

 

 


Rick looked up and fired his gun at a man coming directly at him on a horse, he shot him in the head as he fell off the horse, the wild animal running past Rick, knocking him on his ass to the ground

 

 

 

He turned around on the ground and watched it disappear behind a building

 

 

suddenly another horse raised its legs up in front of Rick, he scrambled out of the way just in time as the large animal's hooves came back down, making the dust fly up in Rick's face, temporarily blinding him 

 

 


he looked up to the rider, dust in his eyes,as a boot slammed down onto his face, sending an intense pain up his nose

 

 

 

He  grabbed it in pain with both his hands, dropping his gun

 

 


he looked up, blinking the dust away

 

 

 

Shane  sat on top of his horse, brows furrowed, eyes wild, gun pointed at Rick

 

 


Rick blinked and grabbed his machete from his holster, rising up on his knees, slamming it directly into the horse's chest, making it scream out in pain and raise up  on its hind legs, tossing Shane from his saddle and landing on the dusty street with a thud, dust flying up everywhere

 

 


"what the fuck" he yelled out, gritting his teeth, scrambling for his gun in the dust

 

 


"boss !!  get out of there" Rick heard someone yell from  close behind him

 

 

 

Rick picked up his gun that he dropped and spun around to the  man behind him

 

 

 

"Richard" Hershel yelled out in panic

 

 

 

Before Rick knew what had happened, he was knocked to the side with a force much like a runaway train, hearing a loud gunshot, he fell to the ground with a thud. All he could hear was muffled voices and a deafening ringing in his ears

 

 

 

he saw people running and  heard more gunfire, blinking  his eyes several times, he finally noticed the  body beside him

 

 

 

Hershel was laying  on his back, on the ground, looking up at him, holding his chest

 

 

 

 blood began to stain his white shirt,as a pained look spread over his pale face

Notes:

Hershel 😲☹

Chapter Text

Rick's heart was racing as he looked down at Hershel, placing his hand over his shaking one as he tried to put pressure on the wound

 

 

 

Blood was now  pooling underneath the sheriff as he stared blankly into Rick's eyes

 

 

 

"come on old man stay with me" Rick gritted his teeth

 

 

 

 he ripped open his shirt, buttons flying off in every direction, rolling it in a ball and pressing it onto Hershel's wound

 

 

 

Hershel made a grunting noise and rick glanced down at him, empathy in his eyes

 

 

 

jerry ran over, making  the dust fly up

 

 

 

"Hershel " he yelled panicked

 

 

 

"  fuck" he whispered when he saw his sheriff lying in a pool of blood

 

 

 

"get Carson for fucks sake " Rick yelled, glaring up at Jerry

 

 

 

Jerry stared down at Hershel

 

 

 

"JERRY" Rick yelled

 

 

 

jerry's eyes darted to rick and he scurried away

 

 

 

Rick could see out of the corner of his eye that the  townsfolk had begun to  make a circle around the scene

 

 

 

"Richard...... ah" Hershel grimaced in pain

 

 

 

"don't talk ....Carson will fix you right up" he smiled down at Hershel weakly

 

 

 

the shirt he had put on Hershel's wound was now soaked in blood

 

 

 

"sheriff Greene" a woman barely whispered

 

 

 

Rick flashed his eyes up to her, her face full of concern as more and more people gathered around

 

 

 

"ill be just fine Maria,dont you worry about me now  "  Hershel lifted up his hand in an attempt to reassure her

 

 

 

"get back all of you, give us some air for fucks sake" Rick yelled, knitting his brows together

 

 

 

the townsfolk all looked shocked and took a step back slightly, whispering and crying

 

 

 

"Richard" Hershel whispered, his voice cracking

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead

 

 

 

Hershel put a shaky hand on top of Rick's and rick looked directly at him, Hershel gave him a warm smile

 

 

 

"it's ok son...you can't help the old man this time" he smiled

 

 

 

Rick's heart was pounding, he knew Hershel was  dying

 

 

 

"don't talk shit old man, Carson will be here in a few minutes and fix you right up" Rick reassured him

 

 

 

"no son" Hershel shook his head

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, sighing loudly and hung his head

 

 

 

 when he opened them,Hershel  was taking off his  blood stained  badge and ran  a thumb over the silver

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at it,as Hershel looked up to him and handed it to him

 

 

 

"I want you to have this Richard"

 

 

 

Rick was silent, as Hershel coughed up some blood

 

 

 

"no Hershel, I don't want it ...... your the sheriff  " he looked up at the crowd, frantically looking for any sign of Carson

 

 

 

"where the fuck is Carson" he yelled angrily

 

 

 

"you're the strongest man I know Richard...I want you to take over as sheriff of Black river "

 

 

 

rick looked down at Hershel and the badge he was still holding in his shaking hand

 

 

 

"say you'll accept it Richard...give an old man his dying wish" he smiled weakly

 

 

 

"you're not dying" rick yelled,as hot tears formed in his eyes

 

 

 

"We both know that's a lie" he looked at Rick, a somewhat peaceful look in his eyes

 

 

 

"Now you listen to me son, you are a true leader, I know you'll look after the town, the people....Jerry will need your guidance.." he stopped talking for a moment, his face twisting in pain as  Rick looked down on him concerned

 

 

 

"The people respect you, Richard, they trust you...something  I should have done instead of judging you....driving you out of town...your home " Hershel closed his eyes

 

 

 

"you have nothing to be sorry for old man...i disappointed you..." Rick hung his head

 

 

 

Hershel lifted ricks chin with a shaky finger and their eyes met

 

 

 

"No richard..you never once dissapointed me,you hear me ?? ,im extremely proud of you" he smiled weakly

 

 

Hershel looked up to the blue sky

 

 

 

"shes up there looking down on you Richard...and so will I " he looked back at Rick, as  tears ran down his face

 

 

 

"don't leave me, Hershel, I can't lose you too " he sobbed

 

 

 

Hershel smiled and raised a ihand up to Rick's face, stroking his tears away gently

 

 

 

"you'll do just fine without me son , you're a fighter,a brave man,a resiliant man.....a stubborn man" he winked and coughed up some more blood

 

 

 

Suddenly Carson came running over with his bag in his hand and kneeling beside hershel,Jeryy not far behind him

 

 

 

"Hershel...... my god"  Carson  said shocked, as he opened his bag and began fussing over Hershel's chest

 

 

 

Hershel looked at rick and shoved the badge into his hand

 

 

 

Rick looked down at it slowly and took it

 

 

 

"You need to take this....the people...... they will be" he smiled weakly

 

 

 

rick looked up over at  Carson,who had stopped fussing over hershel altogether and he simply shook his head slowly

 

 

 

rick's lip curled up in anger at Shane and his scum men

 

 

 

"I'm going to get him Hershel, I swear,this time he will not get away ..he's killed too many people i love " he wiped his tears away angrily

 

 

 

"don't let him rule your life, Richard.. I want you to be happy again..don't live your life full of rage and revenge" he whispered, his eyes closing

 

 

 

"Hershel" Carson said, kneeling in the dirt

 

 

 

Hershel opened his eyes slowly and looked at rick

 

 

 

"you look after the girls, they'll be needing you more than ever now " he smiled

 

 

 

"I love you old man" he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

Hershel smiled and moved a stary curl from Rick's face

 

 

 

"I love you too son...Lori and Carl were so lucky to have you...." his face twisted in pain

 

 

 

Hershel closed his eyes and never opened them  again

 

 

 

"Hershel " Rick said, an uncertain tone in his voice

 

 

 

some of the townsfolk began to cry and hide their faces into the people standing next to them

 

 

 

"Hershel" rick said more urgently and shook him slightly on the shoulder

 

 

 

He looked up to Carson and jerry who were kneeling in the dirt beside him, they both looked at rick with a bewildered look on their faces

 

 

 

"no ....no come on Hershel you fight you old fool...you hear me...you fucking fight" Rick said, sitting up on his knees, and leaning over the pale older man

 

 

 

"Hershel wake up" he yelled

 

 

 

"Rick..he's gone" Carson whispered and put a hand on rick's shoulder

 

 

 

Rick pushed it off angrily and looked at Carson with deadly blue eyes, Carson sat back slightly and glanced at jerry

 

 

 

 

jerry was looking down at Hershel, tears in his eyes

 

 

 

"Hershel, the girls need you......wake up" rick yelled and slapped Hershel across the face trying to wake him up as  some of the townsfolk sobbed

 

 

 

"rick he's gone, stop it " Carson said louder

 

 

 

"he's not " Rick yelled, shaking Hershel now by both shoulders, making his body jerk

 

 

 

"Rick stop it, you're scaring everyone" Carson gritted his teeth, looking up at the crowd of people looking down on them in shock 

 

 

 

"fuck them....what are you all fucking gawking at huh" Rick looked at them all, teeth bared

 

 

they all stepped back, upset and scared at rick's mannerisms

 

 

"rick knock it off, they are scared....they loved Hershel too" jerry bared his teeth at Rick

 

 

rick looked at Hershel, tears running down his face

 

 

 he looked angelic like, just lying there

 

 

 

"it's ok folks, just give us some room,ok" jerry tried to use a calm tone in his voice

 

 

 

Rick laid his head down on Hershel's chest and stayed completely still, not even blinking,just staring off into the crowd of people

 

 

 

 he vaguely acknowledged jerry and Carson standing up and talking to the townsfolk

 

 

 

they soon all disappeared and rick saw Carson's boots beside him

 

 

 

"I'm sorry rick we have to get Hershel off the street now" he said calmly like he was talking to a child

 

 

 

Rick didn't respond, he was frozen, he couldn't move, and he felt a pain in his chest much like the night he had found Lori and carl's mangled bodies

 

 

 

" Rick" Jerry knelt down to his level, tilting his head

 

 

 

"come on"

 

 

 

he put his hand tenderly on Rick's naked back, as his shirt covered in Hershel's blood, lay  rolled up in a ball in the dirt

 

 

 

rick finally  lifted his head off hershel's chest,as dried blood stuck to the side of his face

 

 

 

 a cart ,pulled by a horse was stationed beside Hershel.It was used to take dead bodies up to the hill to be buried

 

 

 

 he sat back looking down at the blood stained sheriff badge Hershel had given him

 

 

 

"ok Rick ..we're going to move him now" Carson spoke softly, hoping not to startle Rick

 

 

 

Rick looked on as jerry and Carson lifted Hershel's body with care and put him in the back of the wagon, covering him with a sheet

 

 

 

Rick stood up slowly, his legs wobbling like a newborn foal from sitting down so long, he was covered in blood and his curls  were disheveled

 

 

 

red rimmed eyes  looked at the body in the cart and over to the two men

 

 

 

 

"I want to take him up the hill" he barely whispered, staring at the body

 

jerry and Carson exchanged glances at each other and back to rick

 

'' Why don't you go home and let Anette and the girls know what happened, I think they'd appreciated hearing it from you rather than me rick"

 

Carson ducked his head to cath rick's eyes

 

Rick glanced up at him,dazed

 

"I said I want to bury him...alone" he added, glaring at both men

 

both men furrowed their brows looking at  Rick like he was insane

 

"ok Rick" Carson finally said, as Jerry looked at him

 

rick sighed and picked up his bloody shirt in a crumbled heap and put it back on, doing the buttons up slowly,sniffing

 

He tamed his curls back with his hand and  climbed into the seat of the wagon and closed his eyes, inhaling a breath, shakily

 

"rick" jerry said concerned

 

"I'm ok...just let me do his alone ok" he turned to face jerry on his right

 

"you did good, with the townsfolk before.....keeping them calm and all " he smiled weakly and turned to Carson on his left

 

"thanks steven" he gave him a weak smile too

 

 Carson nodded, a small smile on his face

 

rick stared straight ahead and flicked the reigns so the horse began to move

 

they trotted past some people who had stuck around,some sobbing,some looking at rick,grief stricken

 

He glanced at them and looked staright ahead again...planning his revenge

Chapter 11

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The night sky was beautiful, as thousands of stars shone down on Rick, as he looked up at them

 

 

He thought about what Hershel had said before he passed, how  Lori and Carl were looking down on him..Hershel was now too

 

 

Rick felt a wave of anger in his gut that he hadn't let go as Hershel had wanted, it had only grown more and more aggressive after his murder

 

 

 

6 months since Hershel had died,6 months since he had to break the news to  Anette who was like a mother to Rick

 

 

 

...6 months till he had to catch Maggie in his arms as she fell to her knees sobbing, 6 months since he looked up to see beth's face, pale and stunned

 

 

 

He had left town the very next day and gone after Shane..Shane the man who had killed his wife and son 5 years ago, raped them both killing Rick's unborn daughter

 

 

 

He didnt even stay for Hershel's proper funeral

 

 

 

 

 

 


Rick poked at the small fire he had burning with a stick and sat back on his bedroll

 

 

 

He glanced over at Boots who was happily grazing on some grass

 

 

 

He picked up the open bottle of whiskey he had beside him and took a mouthful, hissing as the dark alcohol burned his throat

 

 

 

He looked down at his machete laying beside him, its belly was filled with dried blood where Rick had killed many men trying to get more information on Shane

 

 

 

After Hershel had been killed Rick took the interrogations to a whole new level of violence ..

 

 

 


 some coyotes howled in the distance, pulling Rick from his thoughts

 

 

 

He sat up straight, hand on his machete

 

 

 

Nasty things would grab your leg if you were sleeping, so he had to be wary now he knew they were in the area. they sounded far away for now so he settled back  on his makeshift bed and rummaged through his bag looking for his pills

 

 

 

He threw some pills into his mouth followed by some whiskey, he only had about 5 left..he would have to go back into Black River and get more before he went to the the next town

 

 

 

His addiction had become worse since Hershel died, blaming himself for his loss, as he blamed himself for Lori and Carl's deaths

 

 

 


he looked down at the  newest additions to his forearms, he had cut himself a few days ago, deep gashes of red covered his arms, they didn't need stitching this time

 

 

 

he took another swig of whiskey while he looked at them with hatred

 

 


 the coyotes howled again and Rick's eyes flashed up when it was followed by several gunshots

 

 


A terrible pained howling  was heard as Rick sat up quickly, almost spilling his whiskey, his eyes darting into the darkness, his heart pounding, a palm ghosting over his machete handle

 

 

 

"damn coyotes..fucking filthy animals what do you reckon Richard ?? " an all too  familiar voice purred from the darkness

 

 


Rick sprung up to his feet, rigid with anticipation and fear

 

 


4  men whose faces Rick didn't recognize, came out of the shadows and into the dim light of Rick's fire, hands on their holsters, snarls on their faces

 

 

 

 Rick's eyes flashed to all their faces underneath his hat, he put his whiskey bottle down on the dirt slowly and calmly, making sure not to spill a drop of the precious liquid. And  reached for his machete that was still laying on the ground 

 

 


"Nope..... nope take your hand off that piece of shit" a familiar voice said

 

 


Rick's eyes flashed towards the voice, as  the 4 men parted

 

 

 

 through the middle came a familiar man..Shane fucking Smith ........

 

 


"I've seen what you can do with that piece of shit asshole" he snarled and held up his hand that was missing four fingers, long healed over, that Rick had cut off during their last encounter

 

 

He pointed his shotgun at Rick

 

 


Rick's face was unreadable, but his heart was pounding through his chest

 

 


"You're a hard man to keep up with Richard, ill give you that... "  Shane leered at him, over the barrel of the shotgun

 

 

 

"Whenever we get word your in a town, killing anyone with information on me, you're gone by the time we get there to deal with you" Shane spat

 

 

 


Rick was silent, eyes darting around the group...., his fingers twitching over the handle of his colt

 

 

 

"Well Richard, we've finally caught up to you..now it's ME who has found you" Shane grinned

 

 

 


 his eyes trailed down Rick's body as he licked his lips

 

 


Rick furrowed his brows

 

 


"yore fucking beautiful when you're scared " Shane grinned,a strange tone of  lust in his voice

 

 

 

"Told ya he was really pretty didn't I boys ???? '' Shane laughed

 

 

 


''As pretty as any whore"  he winked at Rick

 

 

 

the men all laughed and Rick knew he was in trouble

 

 


"take his weapons..but be careful, he's real fucking fast" Shane ordered, narrowing his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

Rick glared at Shane. as two men went to each side of Rick, one removed his gun while another reached down for his most prized possession...... his machete

 

 

 

Rick made a growling noise like a wild animal and bared his teeth, icy blue eyes filled with malice stared at the  man

 

 


 
the man  stilled, hand frozen inches away from the weapon on the ground, and looked back at Shane concerned

 

 


"don't be a fucking pussy Earl... I've got him" Shane grinned,looking down the barrel  at Rick

 

 


the man picked up  Rick's machete 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes followed him like a lion trained on its prey

 

 


"ill be taking your head off  with that in a minute" Rick smirked, his eyes seemed to  burn red from  the flames of his fire

 

 


Earl faulted for a moment and walked backward to Shane, looking at Rick and down to the machete, tilting his head

 

 


"it's really nice looking, looks hand made or something, will get us a shit load of gold when we sell it" he laughed

 

 


Rick's hands fisted and he took a step forward, his forehead coming into contact with the end of shane's shotgun

 

 

 

Shane looked over the gun at Rick and narrowed his eyes

 

 


"We got ourselves a real tough guy here fellas... let's see how tough he really is .....before he breaks" he scoffed

 

 


Rick was as fast as a snake striking and grabbed the end of Shane's shotgun in his hand and shoved it back into his face

 

 

 

hard metal collided with the  bridge of Shane's nose, as blood poured out

 

 

 

Shane fired in a jerk reaction as Rick ducked and ran shoulder first into the man holding his machete

 

 


the man was caught off guard, dropping Rick's weapon

 

 

 

Rick grabbed it and raised it , bringing it down on the man's forehead, slicing a large open wound between his eyes

 

 


"what the fuck" Rick heard from behind him

 

 


  he looked down at the man whose face was practically cut in half, grinning 

 

 


"what the fuck !!!!  get that fucking thing off him " Shane yelled

 

 


Rick was tackled to the dirt by two burly men, the machete  thrown from his hands

 

 

As he reached out for it, he received a few punches to the sides, many connecting with his ribs, he gritted his  teeth as he was hauled to his feet roughly and dragged to a standing position in front of a fuming Shane

 

 


"he killed Earl, in one swing" one said, looking behind him at his friend on the ground, a shocked look on his face

 

 

 

"what the fuck did I tell you assholes ??  I said he was fucking fast...now look what has  happened " Shane yelled, as he smashed the barrel of his shotgun in Rick's face

 

 


Rick's head flung back at the force, as the men holding him laughed and snickered

 

 


Rick's head hung down as his curls hung over his face

 

 

 

he looked up slowly, tasting blood on his lips as he glared at Shane

 

 


"something to say  tough guy ??  " he smirked

 

 


Rick simply smirked and spat a large amount of bloody  salvia directly into  Shane's face

 

 


"This guy's got some giant sized balls on him " one man said holding Rick

 

 

 

''What are we gonna do to him boss ?? ''  the other man spoke

 

 


Shane was silent, a pensive look on his face, looking Rick up and down

 

 


"I think ill cut his arm off for starters like he did Joeys..  with his own machete, fucking poetic justice if you ask me..what do you think Richard huh..you remember Joey??? he was a real good pal..that was the first time we met wasn't it Richard..well 2nd if you count that fateful night I killed your whore of a wife and son"  he laughed, throwing his head back

 

 


the other men laughed as well

 

 


Rick glanced at the men slowly, his gut twisting in anger

 

 

 

"you know I lied to you that day ..... I did remember you" Shane smiled

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"those fucking eyes...... they are fucking unforgettable, I'd never forget looking into them while we struggled over that gun in the wagon" he smirked, looking Rick up and down, stepping closer 

 

 


"you know it's a damn shame I shot you that night..I think we all could have all had some fun together...not just your missus and the kid" he raised his hand and stroked Rick's curls slowly, eyes filled with something other than murder 

 

 


Rick glared at him, bearing his teeth like the words didnt mean anything to him

 

 


"he sure is pretty boss "  A man with missing teeth, whispered in Rick's ear 

 

 


the other man laughed

 

 


Rick glared at him in disgust

 

 


"what do you say Shane....we haven't seen a woman for weeks and he sure is fuckable" he licked the side of Rick's face

 

 


Rick recoiled away from the man, feeling physically sick

 

 


"you touch me and ill cut your fucking balls off and shove em down your fucking inbred neck" Rick spat at the man

 

 


the men all fell silent, until Shane barked out laughing

 

 


"Told you he was a fucking firecracker, didn't I fellas.....I bet he goes real good getting fucked, he'd be bucking like a fucking bronco "  Shane leered at Rick

 

 

 


"I'm gonna kill you, that's a promise" Rick glared at Shane, lip curling up

 

 


Shane laughed and  looked at Rick pensively

 

 

 

"you've killed more of my  men than I'm fucking comfortable with Richard, they had families, they had friends..... and you call me a savage murderer ?? ''

 

 


Rick eyed Shane

 

 


"you're fucking persistent ill give you that" he furrowed his brows

 

 


"even killing a man I sent to simply watch you in town" he shook his head at the ground

 

 


"And you call me a monster " he glanced up to Rick

 

 


"never heard from old Wyatt after that night..what did you do to the poor bastard Richard huh?? chop his fucking head off, like poor old Joey" Shane spat

 

 


Rick furrowed his brows

 

 


Wyatt ?? Negan let him walk away very much alive that night

 

 


"I did nothing to that asshole......he was going to take me to your camp that night...why would I kill him  ??  he would have led me straight to you and I would have killed you the moment I set foot in that shithole" Rick spat

 

 


Shane's face twisted and he laughed

 

 


"you wouldn't have gotten 1 foot into my camp with a weapon Richard....so that little plan of yours wouldn't have worked....and Wyatt was sent to watch you, not bring you to me and reveal our fucking position..what do you think I am... fucking stupid  ?  " Shane spat

 

 

 

"you're a fucking murdering, rapist animal that needs to be put down" Rick yelled, lunging at Shane, but was held back by the  two strong men

 

 

 

''you know Rick...can I call you Rick..??? we aren't that different you and I  ?? "

 

 


Rick scoffed

 

 

 

"im NOTHING like you"  he spat

 

 


"we both murder" Shane shrugged

 

 


"I only kill to get what I want" Rick yelled

 

 


"so do i " Shane grinned

 

 


"I don't fucking rape women..children..... you sick fuck" Rick struggled against the men again, his wild curls bouncing everywhere

 

 


"maybe you should try it...might relax you a bit" Shane laughed

 

 


Rick growled like a dog under his breath, the rage was burning off him like the fire in front of him

 

 


Shane simply looked at him narrowing his eyes and suddenly stepped impossibly close to Rick

 

 


Rick stopped struggling to look into those brown malice eyes

 

 


Shane brought his hand up to Rick's forehead as Rick flinched at being touched by such a foul animal

 

 


Shane moved Rick's curls aside and looked at the scar he had left behind all those years ago

 

 


"you survived a  shot to the head " his eyes flicked down to Rick's icy blue ones

 

 


"Cause you're a fucking shit shot " Rick spat, baring his teeth

 

 


Shane simply smiled

 

 


"you know you're probably the only one  who has actually seen my face and lived to tell the tale..." Shane looked back up to the scar

 

 


"That ain't a  fucking privileged " Rick spat with venom

 

 


Shane's eyes flicked down to Rick's and he smirked

 

 


"you know you have a real smart mouth on you " he cocked his head to the side and looked down at Rick's plump lips

 

 


" I wonder what else you can do with those pretty lips" he smirked

 

 


Rick struggled against the men, his body and mind starting to get anxious for the first time that night

 

 

"tie him up" Shane said

 

 


As one man let go of his arm and went to retrieve some rope, Rick saw his  opportunity and lashed out, striking  the nearest man in the mouth

 

 

 

As he fell back on his ass in the dirt holding his nose, Rick grabbed the gun that sat in the man's  belt and shot him directly in the head, killing him instantly

 

 


Rick was tackled again by the man behind him and Shane

 

 

 

Shane gave him a few punches to his already painful ribs as Rick's hands were pulled behind him roughly, jerking his shoulders back in an awkward position

 

 

He was tied up with the rope by the wrists,quickly

 

 

 

 the two men got off him and pulled him into a standing position

 

 

 

Shane was inches away from Rick's face

 

 


"you are gonna pay for that......im gonna do fucking vile things to you....so fucking vile youll be begging me to kill you " he spat and suddenly grabbed the back of Rick's head and pulled him forward into his lips

 

 


Rick stood stiff for a moment. until his brain caught up with what was going on and he recoiled back with disgust

 

 


his face twisted and he spat out some saliva on the dirt

 

 


 Shane grinned, stepping back slightly as he pulled out a large knife from his belt and started to circle Rick, standing bound with his hands behind him

 

 

 

Rick only just remembered his own knife he had stashed in his back pocket

 

 


Shane tapped the large knife on his cheek as he came and stood in front of Rick, looking him up and down

 

 


Rick furrowed his brows as the blade shone in the moonlight, shining like a gem

 

 

 

"I think I will have some fun before we fuck his ass..what do you say boys ?? " he grinned, laughing looking at the two remaining men by Rick's side

 

 


they both laughed and Rick was sure his heart actually stopped at Shane's words

 

 


his face was frozen in fear as he turned a shade of white

 

 


Shane looked at him and smirked

 

 


"what..nothing to say now rick?? no smart mouth?? " he stepped into Rick's space, as rick stared wide eyed at him

 

 


He knew he raped, but it never crossed his mind he would actually go ahead with his taunts of raping  Rick, he assumed it was just a scare tactic

 

 


"by that stupid look on your face Rick, I can see you thought I was just pulling your dick when I said you were beautiful ??  Shane raised an eyebrow

 

 


Rick blinked stupidly

 

 


Shane pulled him by his shirt collar and laid his lips on Rick's again

 

 


Rick's eyes widened and he pulled back in horror

 

 


"you fucking touch me and ill fucking....."

 

 


"oh shut up Rick" Shane interrupted putting his finger to his lips

 

 


"shhhhh now"

 

 


"enough of the tough guy image" he looked Rick up and down, slowly  licking his lips

 

 


" Fuck.... I bet your ass is as tight as a fucking virgins pussy" he laughed

 

 


the two men laughed beside Rick

 

 


Rick felt a wave of sickness run over his body

 

 


"what do you say Rick...you gonna behave or am I gonna have to keep you tied up ? ''

 

 

 

"you come near me and ill rip your fucking throat out with my fucking teeth you sick fuck" Rick spat and kicked his boot out connecting with Shane's shin

 

 


he dropped the large knife and bent over yelling in pain

 

 


Rick smirked as Shane rose back up in front of him

 

 


Shane's face twisted in anger and he slapped Rick across the face with the back of his hand

 

 


it stung as Rick hissed , his head bent  to the side

 

 

 

"im gonna cut the fucking fight out of you boy" Shane hissed in Rick's face

 

 


"stand him up " Shane ordered

 

 


the men hauled Rick upright, with a tight hold on his arms, still tied behind his back

 

 

 

" hold his head real still  for me Morgan " Shane grinned at one of the men

 

 


the man grabbed Rick's curls tight and pulled his head back so Rick could see the stars above him

 

 

 

his heart was about to explode, as he thought Shane was going to cut his throat right there and then and he couldn't do anything about it

 

 


  Rick began to struggle and saw Shane step close, the large knife up beside his face, the blade coming closer and closer,  as his eyes widened

 

 


"you got hold of the prick" Shane glanced at morgan

 

 


"yeh boss, cut him up good" he laughed

 

 


Rick struggled in the men's arms as Shane licked his lips and pressed the blade into Rick's tender skin just under his hairline, right above his old scar

 

 


Rick yelled out in pain and struggled

 

 


"im gonna fucking kill you, you fucking bastards..all of you... im gonna fucking......" Rick yelled gritting his teeth, as his words were cut shirt

 

 


 Shane dug the knife into Rick's skin and began cutting open the skin over the scar

 

 


the old wound hurt..it hurt like he was being shot all over again and he yelled out in agony

 

 


Shane brought the blade down excruciatingly slow and deep on the side of his face

 

 

 

it felt like a hot iron was being branded on his skin  and he screamed in pain

 

 

 

his legs became unsteady and his heart was about to literally explode through his chest from the pain

 

 


Shane paused and looked in  Rick's eyes, smirking 

 

 


he had no empathy for anything, he would do this kind of shit every day and  not blink an eye

 

 


Negan was right..he was truly sick

 

 


Negan....he had thought about him often, he somehow wished he was with him now instead of in this fucking shit show

 

 


he knew he would die tonight at the hands of the man he swore he'd kill for his wife and children..for Hershel..now he had beaten him...beaten him after almost  6 years hunting him, being in Rick's every thought, every waking hour..he suddenly realised how much time and wasted effort he had put into this  man

 

 


Shane suddenly backhanded him across the face

 

 


"Are you paying attention asshole..I want your fucking eyes on me for this" he grabbed Rick's chin roughly

 

 


Rick's eyes felt heavy and he felt physically sick

 

 


Rick's breathing was heavy as he felt  warm liquid running down from his forehead and into his eyes, the open wound stung and he thought he was about to faint 

 

 


"not so mouthy now are ya, you bastard? " Shane spat

 

 


Rick's head flopped forward slightly, as he watched his blood drip on the dirt

 

 

 

Shane pulled on his curls, so his head was upright and immediately fell onto  Morgan's shoulder

 

 


"keep going boss, cut him up real good ,then I wanna fuck him, make him bleed from his ass " Morgan said crudely

 

 


Shane laughed

 

 


"dont worry   boys we will " he came up close to Rick's face  and licked his wound

 

 


Rick screamed out in pain .as he felt a whole new level of agony

 

 


the men laughed as Shane stood back licking his lips, Rick's blood shone on them

 

 


"you taste pretty good  Rick, I bet you taste good all over " his eyes raked down Rick's torso

 

 


Rick spat Slavia right in shane's face for the second time that night

 

 


Shane wiped it away with a scowl on his face and stuck the blade in Rick's skin again, teeth gritted in anger

 

 


dragging it down the side of his face, Rick let out a pained scream he didn't know could come out of his own mouth, his legs gave way underneath him, as the men laughed

 

 


"hold him up,im nowhere near finished" Shane obnoxiously laughed

 

 


Rick was pulled to his feet as morgan put him in a bear like hug  now restricting his chest 

 

 


Rick  gasped for air, he was close to fainting as the blade pressed into his tender skin once more

 

 


 passed his check and was going down to his throat

 

 


"don't move now Rick, I dont wanna slit your throat just yet" Shane smirked, eyes flashing to rick

 

 


Rick couldn't see straight, the intense pain and blood loss had his head spinning

 

 


the three men laughed and Rick was about to puke as he felt the knife cutting down  into his throat

 

 


shane's blurry body stepped back, seemingly admiring his work

 

 


"... I think we can inflict a shit load more pain than this...what do you say Rick huh ?? " he smirked and stepped towards Rick again

 

 


Rick's curls were pulled back again roughly and Shane began cutting into  Rick's face, now on the other side

 

 

 

he screamed out in pain, as Shane gritted his teeth

 

 

 

working the knife over rick's skin, a sadistic look in his eyes

 

 


"now this is some nasty shit Grimes" he barked out laughing

 

 


"you had a real pretty face..not any more ay boys " 

 

 


suddenly morgan's tight hold  loosened around Rick's chest and Rick fell to the ground onto his knees

 

 


trying to steady himself on all fours, blood dripping down both sides of  his face  and pooling in the dirt beneath him

 

 


he couldn't hold himself up any longer and he fell face first onto the ground, he turned his head and his eyes closed slowly, as dirt got caught in his open wound

 

 

 

he heard gunshots  and muffled voices , yelling

 

 


Rick opened his eyes, as he felt his own  warm blood pooling underneath his face

 

 

 

he glanced over at Morgan 

 

 


he  had what looked like an arrow sticking out of the back of his head, laying still, face first  in the dirt

 

 

 

Rick felt physically sick,the pain was like a dull throbbing  now and  his body felt like it was shutting down, his eyes became heavy

 

 


 His eyes flicked towards  the open bottle of whiskey sitting where he had placed it down on the ground gently

 

 

 

he could really do with a few sips or the whole bottle to be precise, right now

 

 

 

a pair of black boots stepped in front of his eyes blocking his view of the whiskey and he blinked slowly

 

 

 
"God damn cowboy..You look  like shit " a  strangely familiar voice spoke

 

 


Rick was grabbed under the underarms and dragged away from the fire and turned onto his back

 

 

he barely registered 4 or so men standing in a circle above him, their faces blurry

 

 


"fuck me, boss, he's in  fucking  bad shape" one man spoke

 

 


Rick closed his eyes

 

 


"hey.... stay awake for me Grimes " that same familiar voice seemed to pull him back from the darkness that was closing in on him fast

 

 


he gave in and closed his eyes hoping to see Lori,Carl and Hershel soon

Notes:

who are rick's saviors ??

Chapter 12

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Negan narrowed his eyes underneath his hat, cigarette in his mouth, looking down at the man he assumed was dead for over 2 years

 

 

 

Carol was ordering the other women around giving them frantic directions to get blankets, warm water, etc, her eyes wild with adrenalin

 

 

 

 Rick looked dead, his entire face was covered in blood, large long open cuts were  bleeding furiously  all over his shirt and the cot he was laying on, eyes closed, curls covered in blood, it was like a scene Negan had never witnessed before

 

 

 

"come on..... put pressure on that" Carol yelled, pulling Negan from his daze

 

 

 

he noticed someone was  standing beside him and glanced to the side of him

 

 

 

Simon was holding what looked like Rick's leather satchel that he wore across his torso

 

 

 

"you ok" he glanced down at Simon's shoulder wound, Simon simply  nodded not taking his eyes off the scene in the tent

 

 

 

"he gonna live ?? " Simon asked flatly

 

 

 

Negan was silent as he inhaled the tobacco

 

 

 

"NO..come on his pulse is fading...im losing him....Frankie..get that stitched up now, he's losing too much blood " Carol yelled at the girls, hands working fast

 

 

 

Simon held up something  and Negan glanced down at it it

 

 

 

it was a sheriff badge, covered in dried blood

 

 

 

"Found this on the ground near him " Simon mumbled

 

 

 

Negan took it and ran a thumb over the blood stained badge, eyes boring into the silver 

 

 

 

Why would he be carrying around Hersehl's badge ?? Negan wondered

 

 

 

Simon glanced at Negan and furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"We ain't really trying to save a fucking lawman are we ? " he said, a bitter tone to his voice

 

 

 

Negan was silent and looked on as the women rushed around Rick, like fireflies around a lantern

 

 

 

"boss  ??  '' Simon urged

 

 

 

"You shut your fucking mouth about this" he shook the badge in front of Simon

 

 

 

 

"..you fucking got that Simon ?? "' Negan glared at Simon, eyes narrowed, cigarette hanging off his lip

 

 

 

Simon looked at him surprised and furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"yeah sure thing boss...just between you and me" he stammered under Negan's intense gaze

 

 

 

"hurry up jenny..there, stitch him up..there..no there he's bleeding to death for christ's sake " Carol yelled making both men jump slightly

 

 

 

" Are those his things....did he have any weapons?? " Negan glanced down at Rick's  bag Simon was holding, his machete and colt noticeably missing

 

 

he furrowed his brows..he didn't recall seeing them at Rick's  camp either

 

 

 

'' I didn't see any weapons..... after we chased that fuck Shane and his minion off..they could have been lost in the commotion ?? ''

 

 

 

 "give his bag to Carol..he might have some clean clothes in there" Negan mumbled inhaling his cigarette, not looking away from Rick's lifeless body

 

 

 

Simon looked at Negan's face for a moment and entered the tent

 

 

putting a hand on Carol's back to get her attention and handing her the bag

 

 

 Negan narrowed his eyes at Rick as he inhaled  lungs full of tobacco

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan was sitting on a chair, feet propped up on a crate, cigarette hanging loosely in one hand, rolling Rick's badge around in the other, a whiskey bottle in his lap, staring into the fire

 

 

a figure walked toward him and he glanced over to see who it was

 

 carol was walking towards him, she was covered in blood, rubbing her hands on a bloody rag, looking exhausted

 

"he alive ?'' negan asked looking back at the fire, taking a swig of whiskey

 

Carol was silent for a moment watching her leader seemingly getting himself drunk

 

"he's alive....we've done our best......the rest is up to him now ...his body needs to fight " she said sounding tired

 

"well he's a strong son of a bitch, im sure he'll pull through " negan smiled at her weakly, taking a drag of his cigarette

 

she tilted her head at him and looked at the badge he twirled in his hand

 

"do you know the sheriff ?? " she questioned

 

Negan stilled as he was about to take a swig of whiskey and glanced at her

 

" wasn't a sheriff when I knew him" he scoffed

 

"what's his name?'' she tilted her head

 

negan was silent as he sipped his whiskey

 

"Negan" she yelled

 

"Grimes...Rick Grimes" negan mumbled and took another swig of whiskey

 

"his wounds...im not sure if he will even last the night " she shook her head..upset

 

"I know" negan whispered, narrowing his eyes at the fire

 

Carol looked at the badge again

 

"him being a man of the law makes no difference to me..... I still would have saved his life " Carol began

 

negan was silent and made a fist around the badge, gritting his teeth around his cigarette

 

"I know you've all had one hell of a night carol, but Simon has a bullet wound that needs to be patched up " he glanced at her

 

Carol sighed

 

"Shane is a problem Negan" she said sternly

 

negan's head whipped to the side and glared at her

 

she didnt take any notice of his intimidating face as she crossed her arms

 

"you know we will have the law up in these hills now, asking questions, pointing fingers at us all" she pointed towards the mountains

 

"I know" negan looked back to the fire taking a swig of whiskey

 

"what are you going to do about your brother..you know he's vile...did you see the extent of Rick's injuries Negan..he would of surely died if you hadn't of gotten him here in time " she raised her voice

 

"maybe he did something to really piss Shane off" negan shrugged at the fire

 

carol pressed her lips together, tightly

 

"I can see I wasting my breath when it comes to talking to you about Shane" she sighed and walked up to him, laying a hand on his shoulder

 

"ill see to Simon..the deputy is very lucky to be alive but I can't tell you when he will wake up...if at all" she added and patted negan on the shoulder, walking away

 

Negan's lip curled up in the corner, his heart pulled at the thought of rick possibly dying at the hands of his stupid brother. He had never once forgotten about Rick fucking Grimes, even though he left him handcuffed to the sheriff's desk, in the jail

 

he squeezed the  badge so hard blood began to seep out of his fist, he threw the badge into the roaring fire angrily and took a large swig of whiskey, closing his eyes as the bitter alcohol burned the back of his throat

 

 


Negan was soon joined around the fire by merle who was already drunk,Simon who was patched up, with a bottle of whiskey in his hand although sober, Dwight, Sherry and Frankie

 

 

...As the night wore on,negan was getting sleepy looking at the fire as Simon was rambling on about having a sheriff in the camp and how he single handedly saved him from shane, although Daryl and Negan actually did

 

 


Merle was asleep, his legs propped up on a crate, a whiskey bottle sitting in his lap, hat pulled down over his face

 

 

 Suddenly Negan heard some raised voices, one was definitely Daryl's gruff voice but he couldn't place the other one..he knew it , but couldn't put his hand on it

 

 

he looked up  to see Daryl storming towards him, followed by Shane...his brother........... in his camp

 

 

" What the fuck" negan said under his breath, looking down at the ground, cigarette hanging loosely in his fingers

 

 


"im sorry boss he insisted..'' Daryl began apologetically he was holding Shane's gun and holster  in his hands

 

 

 


negan waved Daryl off as Shane stormed up to the fire

 

 

 


"  you assholes had no fucking right to interrupt my business  " Shane bellowed out, furious, hands on his hips

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his hazel eyes at brown ones, he hadn't seen in over 8 years

 

merle sat up startled, holding his whiskey tightly, looking around to the loud voices that disturbed his slumber


Negan glared at Shane, inhaling his cigarette, eyes never leaving his estranged brothers

 

"you got some balls storming into MY camp, mouthing off asshole" Negan's eyes spat malice at Shane's



"yeah well I wouldn't be here if you and your men didnt interrupt the business I had with that  fucking prick Grimes..is he here??? " Shane spat, looking around the camp

 


negan glanced at the butt of his cigarette and his eyes lazily trailed  up to Shane over the  fire

 

 

"you were conducting business on my land........ " he said calmly choosing his words carefully

 

"you know where the boundaries lie and you crossed into them" he inhaled the cigarette holding Shane's gaze

 


"that fuck was exactly where I wanted him and your fucking assholes flew in, spraying bullets..I barely got away" Shane yelled waving his arms around

 

 

Negan smirked to himself

 

 

"must have been your fucking lucky night, cause I sure as fuck was aiming for you " he glanced up to Shane

 

 


Simon and Dwight smirked at Negan's jab, as  Shane moved in his spot slightly

 

 


negan glanced at the people who were around the fire with him, out of the corner of his eye

 


 Taking his boots off the crate, leaning on his knees with his elbows, his eyes dark as they reflected off the fire

 


"you shredded half the man's face off....cut him up pretty damn good ...what the fuck did he do so bad to you to deserve that  fucked up shit ??"


"That's between the deputy and me " Shane shrugged, smiling

 

Negan's eyes flashed to the  group around the fire, his most trusted..they all had dumbfounded looks on their faces, except Simon who already knew that Rick  was a man of the law


negan put his boots back up on the crate, crossed at the ankles, inhaling his cigarette, glaring at Shane from underneath his hat

 

" he had a sheriff badge In his possession...pretty stupid cutting up a sheriff ain't it?? his eyes flicked to Shane slowly..wanting to know why rick had a sheriff badge

 

Shane laughed

 

"Nah, he's just a  deputy, I killed the old fool who was posing as the sheriff of Black River 3 months ago " he smirked

 

Negan's face twisted slightly..Hershel was dead...fuck...rick wouldn't be in a good head space after that

 

'' Fucking stupid move brother...and even dumber move cutting up his deputy ...his friends will come looking for him....come looking for someone to blame with trigger happy fingers...and MY fucking camp is the first one they will come to" Negan spat

 

 


Shane ignored negans words, looking around the camp

 

 


''So where is he.. I want him back..finish what I started" he said hands on his hips

 

 


a long silence followed as negan sat back, his cigarette butt burning brightly as he inhaled the tobacco into his lungs, eyes narrowing at Shane

 

 


''he's dead " he lied, as he flicked some ash into the fire

 


Simon, merle, Dwight, sherry, and  Arat all gave each other knowing looks, the group was silent

 


Shane was silent as he looked around the group by the fire, searching their faces for any indications that Negan was lying

 


"bullshit" Shane snapped

 


Negan's eyes flashed up to Shane's and he stood up abruptly, teeth gritted

 

"you calling me a fucking liar" he roared, eyes filled with rage

 


Shane looked meek and looked  at the others for a second

 


"you've been known to be...brother'' Shane spat the last part

 


negan's lip curled up at the corner

 

" You are no brother of mine....now I suggest you get the fuck out of my camp before I slit  your fucking throat and shit down the gaping wound" negan bared his teeth

 


Shane was silent for a moment, face twitching in anger....his eyes flashed around the group by the fire, and knew he was outnumbered as he didn't have any of his men there with him


"he's dead....that's a fucking shame..'' he looked up at negan, a devilish smirk on his face

 


"he was really pretty...wanted to show  him what I do to pretty men " he laughed obnoxiously

 


negan felt anger rising up his body at the thought of Shane touching rick, his hands clenched into fists and they shook beside his hips

 


Simon noticed his leader's fists and stood up, quickly

 


"It's true, the fucker died, I threw his body out there for the coyotes myself..he was weighing the fucking horses down" he spat in anger

 


"you come in this camp calling us liars....you are fucking outnumbered here son, I suggest you get the fuck outta here before I show you what I do to rapist pieces of shit like you  ..." Simon  smirked, a hand hovering over his gun in his holster

 


"im outnumbered  cause you " he pointed at Negan

 

 

'' and this fuck with the crossbow killed them" Shane yelled, turning slightly to  Daryl

 


merle suddenly stood up and pulled out his gun

 


"that's my brother you're pointing your fucking dirty finger at boy " merle slurred drunkenly

 


Dwight, Arat, Simon  and sherry all stood up and pulled their guns on Shane

 


"whoa...you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man now would you ??  " Shane said stepping back, raising his hands in mock surrender, smirking

 


"ENOUGH" Negan roared, as all eyes landed on him

 


his teeth were gritted as he glared at Shane

 


"you were in my fucking  territory, Myself and Daryl  had every right to kill  any intruders out of there..the deputy .... is vulture food...from what I saw of him he

suffered...he suffered pretty bad..now im all for killing lawmen ..but fuck that shit was sick, you son of a bitch " Negan's face twisted

 


Shane furrowed his brows and a smirk swept across his face

 

 

"you sweet on the deputy brother ?? " he smirked

 

"maybe we are more alike than you think" he tilted his head

 


"Now you listen up real good, cause ill only say this once.." negan came in close to Shane's face, lowering his voice

 


Shane looked away, pouting like

 


"We are not brothers...you fucking disgust me....what you stand for, what your fucking pathetic men stand for, living in that fucking squaller of a hole you call a camp, getting drunk and raping anything with two legs you can get your fucking grubby hands on...even somethings with four legs.... i dunno...sounds like something you as a so called leader would allow" negan shrugged

 


"NOW  get the fuck out of my camp and stay the fuck out of my territory..I don't want to even so much as smell you on my land again or I will fucking  kill you..do you understand me"

 

 

Negan glared hatred into Shane's eyes

 


Shane glared at negan, as Negan stepped back and sat back down in front of the fire, pulling another cigarette from his top pocket and putting it in his mouth, hanging loosely on his lip

 


Shane stood still,just staring at him

 


negan lit a match and glared up at him

 


"Did I fucking stutter??'' he spat, cigarette hanging on his lip

 


Shane adjusted his shirt and pushed his hat down on his head

 


"so be it brother'' he spat and turned to Daryl

 

"give me my shit back you fucking inbred redneck" he yelled

 

 

Merle lunged forward, as Dwight held him back by a hand to his chest

 

 

"you filthy bastard, calling my brother that..come here and old merle will teach you some manners in fucking respect " he yelled, gritting his teeth, trying to get past Dwight

 

 

"come on merle..just leave it..he's a fucking piece of shit, he means nothing " Dwight tried to calm Merle down

 

 


"Daryl make sure this maggot gets the fuck off my  land and give him his gun back" negan mumbled as he lit the cigarette, throwing the match into the fire angrily

 


Daryl  simply nodded, as he walked off after Shane

 


"wait up brother.... ill come with you in case he tries to start any bullshit" merle picked  up his whiskey bottle, running after Daryl

 


Negan kicked the dirt with his boot angrily

 


"fuck" he yelled

 


Everyone was silent around the fire until Simon spoke up

 


"so why did we tell him the lawman died when we all know he is alive and well ? " Simon asked, eyebrow raising

 


Negan flicked his ash into the fire again angrily

 


"you got a problem with the way I run this camp Simon ?? '' Negan spat, not turning his head to Simon

 


Simon was silent

 


"no...but i....was just  wondering why we saved a fucking sheriff .." he waved  his hand around the group

 


"Because last time I fucking looked in the mirror Simon we were human fucking beings..you remember that..... humans..." Negan yelled glaring at Simon

 


"I didnt want to leave him out there to  die a fucking gruesome death..suffering in pain...fuck even the horses would get a bullet to the head" he stood up abruptly, his emotions for Rick coming to boiling point


Simon was silent

 


"When I saw it was my brother out there, whom I haven't seen or spoken to in over 10 years..." he hung his head

 


"I always knew there was something wrong with him..did you see what he did to that poor son of a bitch in there ?? '' Negan spat, waving towards Rick's tent

 


Simon was staring at Negan, shocked

 


"I suggest you keep your fucking opinions to yourself, Simon, cause if it were you out there, wouldn't you of wanted..no fucking begged someone, for some kind of fucking  compassion" Negan yelled, fire in his eyes

 


"now if anyone has anything else to fucking say to me about saving a fucking sheriff I want to hear it now..here to my face..... not behind my fucking back like a bunch of snakes in the grass" Negan roared, face twisting in the shadows the fire emitted 

 


Negan glared at the faces which were confused looking up at him,he  spat on the ground and stormed  off in the direction of rick's tent

Notes:

oohhh does Negan still have the feels for our Rick ??

 

and where the hell are his weapons ??

Chapter Text

Negan stormed over to Rick's tent and stopped just outside, putting his hands on his hips

 

 

 

it was deathly quiet, unlike before when a scurry of people were fussing over one man

 

 

 

he sighed loudly and pushed the tent flaps back, carol was leaning on her arms on the cot, asleep next to Rick's body

 

 

 

Negan glanced down at her and then back up to rick's face, he was a sorry sight

 

 

 

carol had wiped some of the blood off his face, but most of it had dried and stuck to his skin like a rash, his curls lay all over the pillow as a large bandage wrapped around his face and head covered half his right side, on the left side was a smaller bandage

 

 

 

both had blood seeping through the white fabric

 

 

 

he was shirtless as a thin sheet covered his lower half

 

 

 

Negan's eyes ran down his body and something in his gut twisted

 

 

 

Negan swallowed a large lump in his throat, he looked down at carol, she looked so peaceful..she had worked her ass off tonight getting Rick to this stage..stable

 

 

 

he put a hand on her shoulder and shook her gently

 

 

 

she roused and blinked several times seeing negan looking down on her, a small smile on his face

 

 

 

"why don't you go get a few hours of sleep..ill watch over him" Negan said softly

 

 

 

carol smiled weakly, sitting upright and looking rick over, intently

 

 

 

"I can't..he could go downhill at any second .. I don't want to leave him " she yawned

 

 

 

"you've been at it for hours...go on" Negan urged

 

 

 

his eyes flashed down at Rick, feeling selfish, as he wanted to be alone with rick

 

 

 

she looked at Rick with concern in her eyes

 

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

"you've done all you can and you've done one hell of a fucking great job" negan squeezed her shoulder

 

 

 

she sniffed and looked up at Negan and smiled weakly

 

 

 

"I suppose I can go and get a few hours of sleep" she whispered

 

 

 

she stood up, stretching her arms into the air, yawning

 

 

 

"fucking oath you can, you leave him in my capable hands" he grinned at her

 

 

 

she put a hand on his shoulder and walked past, stopping at the opening of the tent

 

 

 

"was he the reason you disappeared every few days, telling us all you needed time alone" she turned her head back to Negan slightly

 

 

 

Negan didnt look at her but stared intently at rick

 

 

 

"Don't be fucking stupid woman...as if id fuck a sheriff " he said, scoffing

 

 

 

carol smiled to herself, she knew he was bullshitting her

 

 

 

"ill do everything I possibly can to save him negan, you know i will" she said and left making the tent suddenly eery and still

 

 

 

negan looked around and  sat down on  the chair  carol had used and sat next to rick, his eyes scanned over his face and trailed down his torso, his lip curling up sightly

 

 

 

"you look like fucking shit cowboy ??" he whispered attempting humor

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows, watching Rick's chest rise and fall

 

 

 

"you fucking fight.. you hear me Grimes, don't let that son of a bitch win" he looked at rick's face concerned

 

 

 

"I thought you were fucking dead you fucking asshole..heard you took off to Atlanta or some shit'' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

" so you can probably imagine my fucking surprise  to stumble on  you out there tonight..what the fuck were you even doing out there alone you stupid son of a bitch?? "

 

 

 

suddenly Rick's breathing started to become ragged and he was having trouble breathing, his chest making spasm like movements

 

 

 

" you fucking die on me and he's won, don't you fucking go looking for your family just yet, do you hear me ?? " he felt full of anger, as  his gut twisted

 

 

 

" you need to help us out a bit here rick, you gotta wanna live man, you hear me..carol's done the hard part, now it's up to you" negan said looking closer at Rick

 

 

 

 his breathing went back to normal as his chest rose and fell slowly

 

 

 

Negan sighed and looked at rick for a few minutes

 

 

 

"You know,im not even mad about that night at the jail...I mean I was fucking pissed at the time, but I get why you did it.... i do grimes...your just fucking lucky I know how to pick handcuffs" he smirked

 

 

 

negan's eyes felt heavy and he rubbed them, it had been one hell of a long night

 

 

 

"heard  about Hershel" he looked down to the floor

 

 

 

"im sorry rick..I really am..I know how you felt about him, he was like a father to you" he frowned he rubbed a hand down his stubble, angrily

 

 

 

"fucking Shane...fuck" he gritted his teeth he looked at rick silently

 

 

 

"he really fucked you up huh deputy" he said eyeing Rick's face

 

 

 

 

he didn't remember putting his head down on the bed and closing his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his eyes popped open and he sat up, quickly

 

 

 

it was Carol

 

 

 

she looked refreshed and smiled down at him

 

 

 

it was light outside...

 

 

 

had he been there most of the night, he blinked at the bright light coming in through the thin tent fabric

 

 

 

"what fucking time is it?? " he looked over at rick

 

 

 

he was still the same as the night before, chest rising and falling slowly

 

 

 

"it's early....go on...Daryl has killed a deer and brought it back, it's cooking now" she smiled

 

 

 

Negan's tired eyes lit up with the mention of some breakfast and he stood up yawning and stretching, looking down on rick

 

 

 

'' Is the camp  still  questioning why I saved a fucking lawman ?? " his lip curled up in the corner

 

 

 

carol looked at him

 

 

"no one is questioning you Negan " she put a hand on his shoulder

 

 

"being the leader of the saviors doesn't make you the monster people portray you to be Negan..sure you've killed men..some I didnt approve of, but you always did what was best for our group... you're a fine leader, you have a big heart negan I've seen it ..'' she looked at him

 

 

Negan was silent, looking down on rick

 

 

"you know this was the right thing to do" she whispered

 

 

negan sighed

 

 

"do I ??....or maybe it will cause tension in the group" he glanced at her

 

 

 

"they dont trust my judgments anymore" he sighed

 

 

"bullshit" she yelled, negan looked at her shocked

 

 

"we'd follow you to the end of the earth Negan, you're our leader and have kept us all alive and safe for years" she spat

 

"and if helping another human being who happens to be a lawman, makes them not trust you...well fuck them" she yelled

 

negan blinked at carol's language, shocked at the woman who never swore

 

"im glad you made that call to bring him back here for treatment..I dont care who he is, it was the right thing to do" she said sternly

 

"yeh..maybe your right" negan shrugged, looking at rick

 

"im always right Negan" she grinned

 

negan looked at her stunned and she elbowed him in the shoulder

 

he smiled and pulled her in for a hug

 

"thank you" he whispered

 

"that's what im here for...we all support each other,we are family" she said and squeezed him tightly

 

"now go on..get outta here and get some breakfast" she let him go, looking at him, smiling

 

he smiled at her and looked back at rick

 

"he'll be ok ..he survived the night, that's a major hurdle he's conquered   " she said

 

Negan looked back at her and smiled, walking past her

 

taking one last look at rick lying lifeless, before he left the tent

 

 

 

Chapter 14

Notes:

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus is an 1818 novel written by English author Mary Shelley. Frankenstein tells the story of Victor Frankenstein, a young scientist who creates a sapient creature in an unorthodox scientific experiment

Chapter Text

Maybe he was dead  ?? No...he was dreaming ???

 

 

 

Because  he was staring at a beautiful sunset just on the horizon, with his arm around Lori's waist

 

 

 

carl stood between them as Lori bounced a small girl on her  hip

 

 

 

rick looked at them and he felt tears in his eyes

 

 

 

suddenly Lori's face began to crumble, like a sandcastle when the tide washes it away

 

 

 

"no..no " rick yelled, his heart beating rapidly

 

 

 

 taking his hand away from Lori's waist and watching her and the young child she was holding crumble to nothing but sand on the ground

 

 

 

"Why did you let us die Daddy ?? " Carl said sadly before his face started to crumble away

 

 

 

"I'm sorry..no ..please don't leave me again" rick yelled and tried to grab Carl, but his hands only touched grains of sand

 

 

 

rick fell to his knees picking up the sand as it fell between his fingers and sobbed

 

 

 

"im so sorry, I love you, please come back, I can't live without you, I don't know how" he sat on his knees and bent  down, his face in the sand, sobbing

 

 

 

suddenly he heard a malice laugh and looked up to see a figure coming towards him, carrying something in its hand

 

 

 

he sat up straight, sand on the side of his face, and narrowed his eyes

 

 

 

the figure was blurry no matter how close it got until it  was looming over rick

 

 

 

"who are you..what do you want ?? " rick yelled, eyes wide with fear

 

 

 

suddenly the figure bent down and Shane's twisted face was visible

 

 

 

he lifted the object in his hand up in the air and rick's heart skipped when he laid eyes on his machete 

 

 

 

"wake up grimes" he roared, bringing the machete down on rick's skull

 

 

 

 

rick sat up screaming, covered in sweat 

 

 

 


He was in some kind of tent

 

 

 

his vision was obstructed in one eye and he put his hand up to feel his face, there was some kind of bandage covering the entire right-hand side of his face...

 

 

 

Shane.....he cut his face, he remembered and closed his eyes  tightly

 

 

 

suddenly he was hit with the most intense pain he had ever felt, ripping across both sides of his face

 

 

 

his hand touched the other side where a smaller bandage was stuck to his face

 

 

 

..he remembered Shane had begun to cut open the left side of his  face as well, but they were interrupted by someone....someone who saved him

 

 

 



suddenly the flaps of the tent flew inwards  and there stood a woman with long grey hair, holding a large bowl in her hands

 

 

 

 
"your awake" she sounded surprised, staring at rick  like shed seen a ghost

 

 

 


''....you've been unconscious for over a week, we weren't sure if you would wake up.... if at all "  

 

 

 


rick's eyes followed her  with caution, as she came over and put the bowl  down on a makeshift table made out of an old crate next to rick's cot

 

 

 

she pulled up a small chair and sat down looking at rick intently, eyes roaming his  bandages

 

 


"Are you in pain?  '' she furrowed her brows at him

 

 

 


"where am I ? '' rick snapped, wary of the stranger

 

 

 


"you're in our camp, you're are safe now" she smiled, warmly

 

 

 


safe..rick felt a cold sweat run over his body..Shane...Shane had cut his face to shreds..he was going to rape him...

 

 


rick's eyes closed tightly as he tried to get the vision of Shane's twisted face from his memory

 

 

 


''do you remember what happened ? '' she tilted her head at him

 

 

 


rick swallowed a large lump down in his throat

 

 

 

"no" he lied

 

 

 

his head began to pound in a familiar sense..he needed a hit

 

 

 


"are you thirsty ?? " the woman asked

 

 

 


rick rubbed his finger at his temples,  as he felt the  migraine developing fast, pounding behind his eyes

 

 

 

His eyes darted around the relatively large tent and his eyes landed on his bag..but he didn't see his weapons anywhere

 

 

 

He narrowed his eyes at it

 

 

 


the woman handed him a rusty looking mug and rick looked back at her bewildered, as a wave of nausea swept over him 

 

 

 


she pushed the mug forward into rick's face

 

 

 

He blinked several times and suddenly he realised how incredibly  thirsty he was

 

 

 

he grabbed the mug out of the woman's hands rudely and started swallowing the cool liquid hastily, water dripping from the side of his mouth

 

 


"Hey...take it easy...youll make yourself sick" she said concerned

 

 

 


Rick ignored her, letting the  water run down his dry throat

 

 

 


"im carol..'' she said flatly

 

 

 


rick ignored her, licking his lips and looking into the now empty mug, his face throbbing

 

 

 


he needed a hit, he rubbed the palm of his hand against his throbbing head

 

 

 

"Are you ok ?'' carol asked

 

 

 

 

pretty dumb fucking question, rick thought to himself

 

 

 

 

"pills.." rick hissed through his teeth

 

 


"what" carol looked at him

 

 

 


"pills ... I have some in my bag..I need them" rick closed his eyes as agony  and a spinning sensation swept over him

 

 

 

 


she looked at him and furrowed her brows

 

 

 

 


"Please,im in fucking agony here' rick yelled at her

 

 

 

 


she sat back in the chair slightly, a stern look on her face

 

 

 

 

she stood up and walked over to Rick's bag, stilling

 

 

 

 

" just bring it here... I'll find them myself  " he groaned in pain as the side of his face felt like it was ripping open

 

 

 

 

carol bent down and picked up his satchel,  as he eyed her

 

 

 

 


his body was screaming in agony

 

 

 

 


carol came back over with the bag in her hand, looking wearily at Rick, holding it just out of his reach

 

 

 


"give it to me" rick spat, holding out his hand as it began to shake

 

 

 


"I don't think.." she began

 

 

 


"NOW" he screamed making his head pound like dynamite

 

 

 


"fucks sake " he yelled at her gritting his teeth, grabbing the satchel off her 

 

 

 

he threw it in his lap and began rummaging through it, until he saw that bottle he had come to depend on 

 

 

his eyes lit up like fireworks

 

 

with his shaking hands, he popped  the lid off and poured all the  pills he had left in the bottle  into his palm

 

 

 

there were only 5

 

 

 

"fuck" he mumbled to himself

 

 

 

he tossed the empty bottle aside and rummaged through his bag for the bottle of whiskey, he had hoped was still there. last he saw of it it was on the ground when Shane ambushed him

 

 

 

Carol raised an eyebrow at rick and looked at the bottle he had tossed aside

 

 

 

he couldn't find his whiskey and looked at the empty mug that was sitting on the crate, his eyes flashing to carol

 

 

 

''Got any more water" he said sternly to her

 

 

 

she was silent and grabbed the bottle of pills, studying the label

 

 

 

"opium..." she whispered

 

 

 

 

rick looked up at her, curiously

 

 

 

"these are highly addictive " her face twisted

 

 

 

"yeh...no shit" rick said sarcastically

 

 

 

he  threw the pills straight into his mouth, as nothing was around to drink them with, gritting his teeth as the hard pills got stuck in his throat momentarily, dissolving slowly leaving a nasty taste in rick's mouth

 

 

 

he felt carol's judging eyes boring into him

 

 

 

he glanced up at her

 

 

 

she was looking down at the bottle she still held in her hands

 

 

 

"how many of these do you take a day rick ? '' she looked at him

 

 

 

Rick's face twisted..how did she know his name??

 

 

 

A sudden wave of anxiety  swept over him and the large tent suddenly felt very small and he felt trapped

 

 

 

his eyes darted to carol who was giving him a perplexed look

 

 

 

he needed to get out of there and get some air

 

 

he threw the thin sheet covering his lower half back, ( revealing he was only wearing his underwear )  hastily

 

 

"what are you doing ? '' carol asked, eyes wide

 

 

Rick ignored her and threw his legs over the side of the cot, his bare feet touching the floor 

 

 

 

 

He winced in pain as his  skin pulled tight around his face

 

 

 

he began to stand up

 

 

 

" You have to take it easy !! " carol yelled standing up fast, holding out her hands to steady rick

 

 

He wobbled slightly and fell into Carol's arms

 

 

 

"fuck" he yelled in frustration

 

 

 

"you have to get back in bed" she yelled and pushed rick to an upright position

 

 

 

rick's eyes landed on a small shaving mirror that was hanging up on the pole that was holding the tent up, straight in front of him

 

 

his eyes widened in shock as he saw his face for the first time

 

 

The larger bandage that  covered the entire right side of his face  was tainted with blood, seeping through the once white fabric

 

 

 

the smaller bandage was a similar stained color

 

 

 

both sides had a black and blue tinge to them, revealing badly bruised skin

 

 

 

his face was sunken in, drawn looking, pale

 

 

 

his curls disheveled and sticking out at every angle

 

 

 

He looked down at his torso, running his hands down his black and blue skin, where Shane and his men has kicked and punched the shit out of him

 

 

his lip curled up at the thought of Shane

 

 

 

"as you know Rick, you've had some significant damage to your face, but your body is healing itself well, and you'll make a full recovery " carol's voice tore rick away from his thoughts

 

 

 

his blood began to boil  and he clenched his teeth at his reflection in the mirror

 

 

 

"How the fuck do you know my name ?? " rick spat at carol, glaring at her in the mirror

 

 

she furrowed her eyes at him, but before she could open her mouth,Rick  began to  grab at the top of the larger bandage, trying to get it off

 

 

 


"what are you doing" carol shrieked in shock, grabbing Rick's hand

 

 

 


"DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME" he roared in her face, having flashbacks of Shane's dirty hands on him

 

 

 


"I wanna see what that son of a bitch has done to my fucking face ''  rick yelled, inches away from the frightened woman's face

 

 

"they cant be exposed to the air yet, they need to be kept under the bandages a while longer " she yelled, her face screwing up

 

 

 

Rick ignored her and pulled at the bandages away from his head, unraveling layer upon layer ,making his curls spring up into the air, that were previously pushed down by the bandages

 

 

 

 

"Please..I don't think that is a good idea, your body is still healing" she said and grabbed at Rick's hand

 

 

 

he stilled when she put her hand over his

 

 

and their eyes met

 

 

 

They both glared at each other, the woman seemingly unfased by Rick's fierce mood

 

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth together as carol's stern eyes didn't falter from his malice ones

 

 

 


 he screwed his eyes shut tightly wishing she would just leave

 

 

 


"JUST FUCK OFF WILL YA '' he yelled angrily, eyes opening filled with danger and hatred

 

 

 


rick glared at her,his jaw twitched slightly

 

 

 

her eyes were filled with anger and a few tears as she stormed out of the tent, not saying another word

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes followed her out  with contempt

 

 

 

 

the 5 pills he took before were beginning to  work, but extremely slowly

 

 

 

 he felt the now dull thud of his migraine in the back of his head,reminding him he had no opium left

 

 

 

a slight flutter of anxiety spread across his body like a blanket and he inhaled a shaky breath

 

 

..all his yelling hadn't helped the situation and he felt a slight twinge of guilt for acting like a wild animal toward carol

 

 

the woman had obviously saved his miserable life....

 

 

He turned back to the mirror  and  grabbed the top of the bandage and started to unravel it again

 

 

 

his eyes widened as he laid eyes on the first stitch

 

 

 

 small, black, incisions were stitched into his forehead, looking like deep craters covered in dried blood

 

 

they where horizontal with his old scar where shane had shot him,years earlier

 

 

he closed his eyes and unraveled the rest of the bandage until it fell to the floor and inhaled a large breath before opening his eyes

 

 

his breath hitched in his throat as he laid his eyes on what Shane had done with his knife

 

 

The  stitches started at his forehead, his curls now falling over them, slightly

 

 

they went down the side of his face, past his eye, going inward towards his nose, down towards the side of his mouth, around the corner of his lip, and  down to his neck

 

 

he lifted his chin to the mirror slightly where the stitches continued down, just missing his Adams apple and finally stopping at an abrupt end

 

 

the smell of dried blood hit rick's nostrils and he felt physically sick

 

 

the stitches were small and  neat and small lines appeared on the skin, where they had been knitted together

 

 

his face was black and blue and his wounded side was red and puffy, making his right eye look swollen

 

 

his body was shaking  and  his heart began to pound in his chest as he unravelled the smaller bandage

 

 

 

It was similar to the one on his right hand side, but not as angry looking

 

 

 

Rick stared at his fucked up face

 

 

 

he was a fucking monster, like that creature Frankenstein he had read about  !!!

 

 

 

he felt a rage inside of him,boiling just below the surface as he glared at his hideous reflection

 

 

his  anger made his hands ball into clenched fists and he smashed the small shaving mirror,making it fall off its hook, smashing glass  all over the tent floor

 

 

he looked at his knuckles, they where now cut open and bleeding

 

 

"fuckkkk" he screamed

 

 

  the frustration and humiliation he felt sent waves of  aggression and  self loathing running through his veins

 

 

just  like the blood that ran through them

 

 

blood...blood...that smell..the war..those bodies, his friends,rotting bodies, open gaping wounds festering with flies and maggots

 

 

 

he gritted his teeth in anger 

 

 

and in pure adrenaline and rage, he pressed his thumbnail into the stitches, making them bleed

 

 

he screamed out in agony as he dragged his nail down, making them pop open,sending warm blood  dripping down his face

 

 

He wanted to feel something, he wanted to feel pain, he wanted to feel the guilt of letting Shane get away once again

 

 

he hated himself, he hated everything about himself and now he had the face to match his heart....cold and unforgiving

 

 

the smell of the blood now covering his eye and face made rick lurch over in agony, as vivid memories from that night with Shane came flooding back

 

 

 something like  bright lights flashing in front of his eyes made him fall to his knees on the ground,feeling the broken glass cut into his bare skin

 

 

he felt bile rising up into his mouth, and he scratched at his face making more blood seep out in agonising pain

 

 

the floor was spinning, ( probably from blood loss ) and  he attempted to stand up

 

 

his legs shaking underneath him, he steadied himself on the tent pole and screwed his eyes shut

 

 

pieces of broken glass stuck to his bare knees with fresh blood as he took a few steps  towards the tent opening...he had to get out of here....he wasn't safe..he needed his weapons

 

 

he stumbled towards the tent flaps as the ground spun beneath him, making him feel nauseous and his head lulled back slightly

 

 

he wobbled like a newborn foal, as that all too familiar feeling of vomit rose in his throat

 

 


he practically fell through  the opening of the tent, falling on  all fours  and emptying the entire contents of his stomach up  onto the dirt, his body jerking and convulsing

 

 

he was  covered in  a cold sweat as his head spun, blood dripped from his face onto the vomit colored dirt

 

 

after he finally stopped, he spat the last remaining taste of vomit into the dirt

 

 

his whole body felt weak and his throbbing migraine was back with a vengence

 

 

he groaned sitting back on his haunches, holding a palm to his temple

 

 


" Well fuck me deputy prick.....now that's some gross shit you got hanging off your face boy " a familiar voice barked out laughing  beside him

 

 


he shook as his whole body felt like it was going into shock as the cool air hit his sweaty body

 

 

 he turned his head  towards the obnoxious voice, staring at a pair of black boots as he tried to focus his blurry eyes, the blood making it impossible to see straight

 

 


"MEREL" a loud booming voice yelled from behind rick, making him flinch slightly

 

 


he screwed his eyes shut as the voice went right through his head and made his brain thud in agony

 

 

"yeh boss" merle said, as rick could literally hear his stupid grin in his voice

 

 


''fuck off" the voice said bluntly

 

 

 


merles face twisted slightly as his grin disappeared

 

 


"I was only having some fun with the deputy  here" he bent over, leering at Rick

 

 

"wasn't I asshole.... ???  wow looks like half your face is hanging off the bone there boy" he stood back up,  laughing a callous laugh that sent a shiver  through Rick's body 

 

 


''I SAID FUCK OFF......... NOW '' that voice yelled once more, dripping with authority

 

 

 

rick put his head in his hands as he tried to wipe the blood away from his eye

 

 

 

he heard Merle mumble something under his breath

 

 

 

 the sound of  gravel  and dirt  crunching beneath  boots made Rick turn his head to the side and  he saw merle's dark silhouette  walk away, out of sight

 

 

Rick's head was still spinning, as he tasted vomit and blood in his mouth

 

 

he licked his lips trying to get the taste off his tongue,but it only made it worse

 

 

he suddenly acknowledged there was  a set of boots  in front of him and a tall  figure knelt down,tilting their head to the side

 

 

an all too familiar smell of tabacoo and aftershave hit rick's nostrils as a flood of anxiety and fear hit him like a bullet to the face

 

 

"well you're a fucking sorry sight Grimes....what the fuck have you done to your fucking face now ??"  a familiar voice purred

 

 

Rick lifted his groggy head to the figure's face and saw a man he thought he'd never see ever again in his lifetime...Negan

 

 

was he dreaming again...what was Negan doing here...what the fuck was Merle fucking dixon doing here ????

 

 

Everything that had happened started flashing before his eyes and he attempted to stand up,not wanting the man that he had cared for once, to  see him like this...

 

 

 

he put a palm on his shaky knee to steady himself and stood up

 

 

 

Negan stood up as well,he was like a giant wall just standing in front of rick and blocking his way of escape

 

 

 

he immediately fell into Negan's arms as his legs betrayed him, giving way underneath him

 

 

the smell of tobacco burnt  rick's nostrils and mixed with his churing stomach 

 

 

he  threw up vomit all over Negan's black vest and shirt, the stinking bile dripping all down his front

 

 

negan didn't even flinch, standing still and tall like a pillar of strength

 

 

but rick recoiled back in disgust as he pushed himself away from negan

 

 

he stumbled back,falling to the ground and feeling a deathly hard knock to the back of his head,seeing darkness

 

 

 

Chapter 15

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick's eyes open slowly, he was so tired

 


the  fabric of the tent roof moved slightly, as he heard the wind whistling outside, followed by a loud rumble of thunder in the distance

 

 

..it sounded like a storm was brewing

 

 

he furrowed his brows at the distinct throbbing on the side of his face

 

 

 he didn't have anything covering his eyes this time and he raised his hand up to his face,his stitches were there,all sewn up,like brand new

 

 

what happened  ??? he remembered ripping his stitches out..vomiting ..negan

 

 


his heart  suddenly began to race and his eyes darted around the tent

 

 

he was in the saviors camp..he had to be ?? he was in danger here with these degenerates, robbers,thieves, murders

 

 

his head throbbed

 

 

suddenly the tent flaps blew inwards and rick's eyes darted towards the sound of the wind blowing them

 

 

 his heart almost jumped out of his chest as a tall dark figure appeared to emerge from the darkness outside, seemingly floating in through the tent flaps

 

 

rick's heart literally stopped

 

 

a flash of lightning lit up the sky, illuminating the tent

 

 

rick's eyes widen when he saw a familiar  face

 

hidden by shadows, underneath his black hat

 

his face like a bad memory in rick's mind

 

his eyes cold and dark, narrowed into slits at the  man in the cot

 

rick was sure negan could hear his heart pounding in his chest as his palms began to become sweaty at the sight of the intimidating man

 

Negan was silent as he took a step towards rick

 

 

rick  flinched at the sound of negan's spurs on his boots making a loud metal clanging sound in the relatively quiet tent

 

 

 he stalked over to the cot

 

 

the tall man completely silent, now looming over a scared and frazzled Rick Grimes

 

 

rick's mouth was parted

 

 

he wanted to yell, say something but nothing was coming out

 

 

He heard a familiar sound of a match being struck

 

 

and a bright flame lit up the tent

 

 

negan facial features distorted by the orange coloured match

 

 

he lit a lantern that was sitting on the crate next to rick, which he hadn't even noticed earlier

 

 

the whole tent lit up dimly and rick blinked several times, looking around

 

 

 his eyes landing on Negan

 

 

he still was silent and it made rick nervous

 

 

he slowly took out a cigarette from his top pocket and used the lit match to light it

 

 

his eyes hooded, flicking to rick

 

 

rick swallowed a lump in his throat not daring to move, he was frozen his muscles tense under negan's gaze

 

 

the cigarette burned and he waved the match around, putting it out

 

 

he pulled up the small stool next to the cot sighing as he sat down on it, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders

 

 

 

rick watched him with curious eyes as he propped one boot up on rick's cot the other  flat on the floor

 

 

he took his hat off and placed it next to the lantern, running a hand through his dark hair, which rick noticed didnt have one grey streak in it, unlike his own

 

 

it was as black as the last day he saw him, over 2 years ago

 

 

his salt and pepper beard told the story of his age

 

 

his eyes flicked up to rick slowly as he exhaled a cloud of smoke right in ricks' direction

 

 

rick's jaw twitched as the  strong  tobacco smell when up his nostrils

 

 

Negan knew rick hated that smell right in his face like that

 


he face was unreadable as he narrowed his eyes at rick

 

 

Rick felt uneasy in the tent with the man

 


"What the fuck am i doing here ?? " rick spat and sat up on his elbows, glaring at negan

 


negan inhaled his cigarette and narrowed his eyes at rick

 

 

"Where do you THINK you are exactly Grimes ?  '' he raised an eyebrow

 

 

"I'm in your fucking  camp, the saviors camp..what ???   you think I haven't cottoned on  yet ?? " he spat

 

 

negan smirked

 

 

"wouldn't have a fucking clue what is going on in that fucking head of yours Grimes...I figured you were too jacked up to know where you were quite frankly " he shrugged

 

 

"I'm not fucking jacked up" rick yelled defensively

 

 

"no...not now maybe " negan frowned

 

 

"not before either " rick spat 

 

 

"what fucking sane man would scratch their fresh stitches out with their fingernail.....??? .....the only thing holding their fucking face together ?? ''

 

 

rick was silent..he didnt really have an answer..he was distraught, he was upset..he was fucking high..he wasn't though he didnt have that much opium and it wouldn't have made him scratch his stitches out

 

 

Negan eyed rick apparent silence

 

 

" you know a bit of fucking appreciation wouldn't go astray" he inhaled his cigarette

 

 

rick blinked and glared at him, almost laughing

 

 

"for fucking what?? '' he yelled

 

 

"Me and my boys saved your ass....if we hadn't showed up when we did, you'd be fucking dead by now"

 

 

"I didnt need your fucking help" rick snapped feeling defensive

 

 

"no" negan smirked

 

 

"no..I had that fucking piece of shit exactly where I wanted him..then you lot swoop in and scare him off" rick bared his teeth

 

 

negan inhaled his tobacco, the butt turning  bright red, as he took the smoke into his lungs

 

 


"my brother had you tied up with one side of your fucking face hanging off, blood everywhere, the other side he was just getting started on...they beat you black and blue and you were on the verge of collapsing...." negan spat, furrowing his brows

 

" like I said if we hadn't  shown up....." negan trailed off

 

 

"why the fuck did you bring me here ?? , you know what  saviors do  to  lawmen " rick gritted  his teeth, changing the subject

 

 

negan eyes flashed to rick's

 

 

"I was doing you a fucking favour asshole" he bared his teeth,cigarette held in his fingers

 

 

"you would of bled to death out there  if we had just rode on past...you can imagine my fucking surprise to find my brother who I havent seen in 10 years cutting  pieces off  the man i fucking loved who I haven't seen In over 2 years..ever since he fucking cuffed me to his sheriffs desk and split" negan roared

 

rick  froze

 

 

the only thing he herd and was processing was "the man I loved"

 

 

negan didnt seem to notice the slip of his tongue

 

 

''i cant believe you are actually lying there and acting like we didnt do you a fucking favour" he smirked

 

 

'' still an ungrateful, stubborn, righteous piece of horse shit ay" he spat

 

"

''Im not safe here,id be better off out there with shane" rick yelled waving his hand to the tent opening

 

 

a large rumble of thunder made both men take a breath and look at each other

 

 

"you're perfectly safe here grimes" he scoffed and inhaled his cigarette which was almost finished,its ash falling into his lap

 

 

his eyes flicked up to rick's and a smirk spread across his face

 

 

"besides...... they already know you're a lawman "

 

 

Rick's eyes widened in fear

 

 

" Keep your pants on, they know your off limits..." Negan added, seeing Rick's reaction

 

 

"well.......at least until your fully recovered..gotta make it a fair  fight right " he smirked, looking at the butt of his cigarette

 

 

"Is this a fucking joke to you?? '' rick spat

 

 

negan flicked his eyes to him casually

 

 

"your little secret was safe with me, but Shane showed up looking for you....running his big fucking mouth,exposing you for a deputy " negan scoffed

 

 

rick's mouth was open

 

 

"What ?? " negan shrugged

 

 

"who cares if they know..i wasn't going to deny it..I'm no liar" he said

 

 

rick felt a wave of pettiness in his stomach

 

 

"do they know you lied to them before all this..lied to them for years  ?? ''

 

 

negan narrowed his eyes at Rick, not quite understanding the remark

 

 

"did you tell them about me..that we were" he paused

 

 

" acquainted "

 

 

"that ..big bad Negan  was fucking a deputy" rick smirked, feeling cocky

 

 

negan lip twitched and a smirk appeared on his face

 

 

a smirk that sent a shiver up rick's spine

 

 

he took his boot off rick's cot,stubbed his cigarette out on the crate and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees,eyes narrowed and dangerous

 

 


"keep  running that pretty mouth of yours Grimes and I will personally let them in here and let them do what they want to you" negan gritted his teeth

 

 

They glared at each other,they hadn't laid eyes on each other for years,but something felt  just as intense and filled with emotion like they had never been apart

 

 

A sudden loud crack of thunder followed by a loud explosion like noise made both men jump and look towards the opening of the tent

 

 

Negan was silent, as rick glanced at him

 

 

"Where are my weapons ??? ..i want to get out of here,before one of your fucking inbred asshole men come in here and put a bullet between my fucking eyes while I'm sleeping" rick spat

 

 

Negan looked back to him, sitting up straight

 

 

"you ain't going anywhere" he spat, possessively

 

 

rick was about to protest when the tent flaps flew inwards and carol stood there

 

 

both men looked at her,she looked tense and nervous like

 

 

"negan...a bolt of lightening has broken the fence..the horses have escaped, there's also a fire at the far end of the camp " she said looking out of the tent

 

 

"Daryl and merle are down there now with some others " she said 

 

 

"fuck" negan yelled

 

 

making rick flinch

 

 

he put his hat on,standing up  and adjusted his long coat

 

 

"you...don't fucking move..ill be back" he pointed at Rick

 

 

"i want my weapons Negan ..i need to get out of here"

 

 

"told ya you're not going anywhere..did Shane fuck with your fucking brain ?? cause i don't remember you being this stupid??" he snapped

 

 

"your fucking injured...before you fucking ripped those stitches out you were unconscious for 7 days...we didnt know if you would live or die Rick" his voice cracked slightly

 

rick looked at carol

 

 

"negan ..I'm sorry..please" she said, turning to the camp

 

 

"if you step one fucking foot outside this tent i will personally cut your fucking throat and shane wont get the  chance to finish you off" negan roared in rick's face

 

 

rick sat back,a passive look on his face

 

 

"do i make myself fucking clear?? you cant be running around out there..now there's a fucking storm brewing..its dangerous Rick"

 

 

rick felt something in his belly. warm like...negan still cared for him

 

 

"negan" carol urged

 

 

"I'm fucking coming" he yelled at her

 

 

a stern look came over her face and she pursed her lips

 

 

negan sighed and rubbed a hand down his salt and pepper stubble

 

 

"I'm sorry carol..ill be right behind you...get Simon yeh" he said smiling at her weakly

 

 

she nodded, glanced at rick and disappeared out into the darkness as it began to rain heavily

 

 

negan turned back to rick

 

 

"you're not fucking going anywhere,for fucking once in your life rick grimes..just listen to me" he yelled

 

 

rick was stunned

 

 

Negan said nothing more and stormed out of the tent, his long black coat tails the last thing Rick saw

 

 

leaving Rick confused

 

 

but as stubborn as he was, he threw the thin sheet back covering his lower half  and swung his legs over the  side of the cot

 

 

 

he put his bare feet on the floor and looked at his bag in the corner of the tent

 

 

 

no one was going to tell him what to do...no one !!!

Notes:

aaww Negan loves rick 😍

Bloody rick, ..what trouble will he get himself into now ??

Chapter 16

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The rain was coming down hard and it stung  his face as he opened the tent flaps looking out into the camp

 

it was somewhat hard to see, a grey like blanket of rain covering it

 

he saw a mass of various tents, wagons and crates

 

his eyes darted..this was going to be harder than he thought..

 

but finding negan's tent and getting his weapons back was his number one priority right now

 

 

he assumed he brought boots back with him and he would no doubt be down with the other horses where half the camp was, tending to the fence and some fire at the  far end of the camp if rick heard  carol correctly

 

a loud rumble of thunder echoes in th night sky and he looked up

 

 

squinting his eyes as rain fell on his face underneath his hat, hitting his fresh stitches

 

 

the cool rain felt good on his sore face..and he imagined it had been over a week or so since he had any kind of bath, so he didnt mind getting soaked slightly

 

 

his clothes, his bag, his hat would eventually dry

 

 

and he'd be long gone from the saviors camp by that time

 

 

he began sneaking around the camp, looking in various tents, going through wagons, he came upon a few scattered people but he pushed his hat down, looking to the ground, and kept walking

 

no one seemed to notice him

 

 

he saw several people down in a field, fussing over a fence and rounding up frightened horses, as they pulled on their reigns, raising up on their back legs

 

 

rick felt he should go help

 

 

Boots was down there somewhere and this carol woman did save his life, stitching him up twice

 

 

a twinge of guilt spread over his body but he pushed it down with his own selfishness

 

 

he was getting angry that he hadn't found Negan's tent, he had assumed it would be the grandest one, bigger than the others, maybe even in the middle of the camp

 

but he found nothing like that nor his weapons

 

 

the rain was getting lighter  and his cover would   soon be disappearing

 

 

he couldn't leave without his possessions..his machete and colt

 

he felt naked without them

 

 

a migraine began to pound in the back of his head

 

 

he suddenly heard loud voices and he hid behind a wagon, feeling absolutely ridiculous, hiding from men..he was a dedicated army veteran and deputy

 

 

but he didnt trust these men, they would most def kill him if they found him rummaging through their tents

 


the men passed and rick let out a breath he didnt realise he was holding 

 

 

he had one more tent to go

 

 

the rain stopped and he felt like a drowned rat

 

he looked around the wagon at the last remaining tent

 

 

should be risk it or go back to his tent  ??

 

the stubborn side of him took a step towards the tent


it could be Negan's ?? maybe it wasn't  ??

 

 

he ran over to it, almost slipping on his ass in the slippery mud, and entered it

 

 

it had a similar appearance inside to the others

 

 

it had a  child's doll on one of the cots and he knew it definitely  wasn't negan's

 

 

"fuck" he yelled kicking the leg of the cot in anger

 

 

he sighed and  took his hat off, shaking the rain off its brim onto the floor and ran a hand through his relatively dry curls

 


he closed his eyes,and pinched teh bridge of his nose  as his head throbbed.....he needed some opium

 

he would take some when he got back to his tent

 

"find him..that fucking snake is around here somewhere" someone yelled from outside

 

rick lifted his head, eyes darting to the opening of the tent

 

 

men ran around the camp, sloshing in the mud with their boots as rick peered out of the opening slightly

 

"find the prick and bring him to me" a man with a really bad moustache yelled, hands on his hips

 

 

where the fuck was negan and who is this asshole, acting like he's in charge -rick thought

 

 

the group of men slipt up and moustache man stood there, right in the way of rick's escape

 

he took a step back in the tent,heart racing...... he was trapped

 

his fucking stubbornness got him in this shit...

 

he heard more voices 

 


moustache man walked off with the others a stone cold look on his face

 

 

rick swallowed a large lump in his throat and took his chance

 

 

he put his hat on his head, pushing it down as far as he could make it go

 

 

he pushed the flaps back and took off in the direction he thought his tent was situated in

 

 

several tents surrounded him, wagons all looked the same, he ran into several people 

 

hitting their shoulders  with his own

 

their faces in shock when they saw the unfamiliar man, running around their camp

 

 

"hey..wait" one yelled

 

 

rick ran around feeling lost until he came upon an open area, where a large fire pit had been, put out by the rain

 

 

6 or so men stood in a circle,moustcahe man in the middle, a smirk on his face, hands on his hips

 

 

rick felt trapped and backed up like a caged animal

 


 he ran into someone and spun around

 

 

he had a large scar/burn on one side of his face

 

 

rick and this man locked eyes

 

 

Rick felt it ironic  he was face to face with a man whose face was damaged just as bad as his

 

 

"what you think your doing lawman" a voice spat behind him

 

 

he spun around as moustache man smirked

 

 

rick glared at him underneath his hat, blue eyes filled with fear and hatred already for this man's smug face

 

 

"We haven't been properly introduced..im Simon" he grinned

 

rick's eyes darted around the group of men surrounding him

 

 

wild looking men, who had been living on the harsh land most of their adult lives by the looks of them

 


they all smirked at rick, hands placed on their holsters casually

 

rick didnt have a fucking thing to defend himself with

 

 

"now im pretty sure Negan  told you to stay in your tent" Simon tilted his head

 

rick's lip curled up at the side

 

this guy was an asshole

 

"so I ask...what are you doing rummaging through people's tents ?? ''

 


rick's eyes darted side to side


"bit fucking rude if I say so myself.....you see where I'm from  you  respect the fucking leader's rules of the camp ..the camp who saved my fucking worthless ass..kept me alive..for days on end, wasting precious resources that could have been used on one of our own" he spat

 

 

rick simply glared at Simon

 

 

"you don't scare easy, do you lawman ??  " Simon smirked

 

 

"I'm sure   we can change that" he grinned

 

rick stepped forward not being intimidated by this prick

 

 

several men around the semi circle stiffened their stance and grabbed at their guns in their holsters

 

 

''... I can tell you some of the men don't like a lawman being in our camp..their all on edge " he smirked

 

 

suddenly he grabbed his gun and fired it at rick's boots

 

 

rick would admit he literally shit himself  and stepped back

 


as all the men laughed

 

 

"come on Simon" the scarred man behind him spoke

 

rick's eyes darted behind him, not turning around fully

 

 

 

Simon looked up, his smirk replaced by a scowl

 

 

"you keep outta this dwighty boy..were just having a Lil fun with this prick" he looked back at rick

 

 

he narrowed his eyes and stalked towards him

 


rick held his ground, glaring at Simon

 


"those eyes" Simon barely whispered

 


"negan seems to have a soft spot for you..letting you stay here...but i can assure you the rest of the camp doesn't see things  his way" he stalked closer to Rick until he was inches away from him his face

 

 

he tilted his head looking at rick's stitches

 

 

"old Shane did a real number on you huh" he scoffed

 

 

rick bared his teeth

 

"you know Shane was a good pal of mine until Negan exiled him from this gang"

 

 

"I reckon we should take you back out there and let him  finish the job...what do you say boys " he yelled, raising his arms in the air

 

 

all the men hollered and cheered

 

 

rick felt sick and intimidated

 

 

"one less deputy in this world the better" he spat, looking at rick with hatred

 


"you lay one hand on me asshole and ill fucking rip that fucking hideous moustache off that smug face with my bare hands then il slit your fucking throat " rick spat

 

all the men stopped yelling and  looked at each other, stunned

 

simon's lip cured up

 

"you fucking son of a bitch" he yelled and struck rick in the side of the face, connecting his fist  with his stitches

 

 

rick instantly fell to the ground on all fours, dropping his bag off  his shoulder, his face screaming out in agony

 

 

"bamm" Simon yelled, laughing

 

 

rick's hat  was firmly still on his head as he gritted his teeth through the pain

 

 

"come on deputy let's see what you're made of " Simon laughed above him

 

 

"Simon" Dwight protested

 

 

"you shut the fuck up " Simon yelled, pointing his finger at him

 

 

he walked around the side of rick and kicked him in the ribs with his boot

 


rick yelled out in agony and fell to the ground in a heap

 


Simon laughed

 


"We don't appreciate deputies in our camp, sneaking around " Simon yelled and went to kick rick again

 

 

rick was as fast as a snake striking and grabbed Simon's boot mid kick and twisted it pulling a loud howl out of Simon

 

 

he fell on his ass, surprised as rick jumped on top of him

 

 

throwing punches in the man's face

 

 

the men around rick grabbed him and pulled him off Simon

 

 

not a fair fight- rick thought

 

 

they held a furious rick by both arms, his hat had fallen off his head and his wild curls were hanging in his face

 

 

he gritted his teeth breathing heavily from the scuffle

 

 

Simon stood up, wiping the blood from his lip, looking surprised

 

 

"fuck your fast.." he said scoffing

 

 

 

"But you see,im here to teach you a few rules of this camp" he straightened up his shirt

 

 

 

" im second in charge around here when the boss is away..." he walked towards a wild rick

 

 

rick struggled in the men's grip

 

 

" and I won't be taken down by a fucking crippled deputy" he licked his bloody lip

 

 

throwing a punch in rick's face again, connecting with his stitches

 

 

he hissed as his head was thrown to the side with the force and he let out a strangled scream of pain as the side of his face felt like it was tearing apart all over again

 

 

the men were holding him like Shane's goons did, Simon resembling Shane, standing in front of him, intimidating, angry, one thing on his mind..to break rick

 

 

rick had a sudden rush of adrenalin and a sense of fight or flight came over  him

 

 

he head butted Simon and he stumbled back, holding his nose

 

 

his strength so strong the two men holding him in place lurched forward with him

 

 

"fuck" one yelled

 

 

"Simon enough" Dwight yelled

 

 

"negan said he was off limits" he added

 

 

Simon glanced at him and smirked

 

 

"well Negan's not here ...is he ?" he looked back at rick

 

 

"you hear that...Negan ain't here to save you this time" he spat

 

 

      "I don't need him to save me you son of a bitch" rick spat, teeth bared

 

Simon stood tall and his jaw twitched at rick's apparent lack of fear he had hoped he had  installed in him by this point

 

"no" Simon scoffed

 

"Take your best shot you weak animal" rick bared his teeth

 

Simon looked at his companions and his face screwed up in anger

 

a smirk came over his face and he raised his fist again

Notes:

simon's an asshole

Chapter 17

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick gritted his teeth as he  waited for the hit that would surely land him on his ass

 

 

 

suddenly out of the shadows, a figure appeared and grabbed  Simon's fist mid strike

 

 

 

it was the long haired man with the crossbow from the jail..Merle Dixon's brother if he remembered correctly

 

 

Simon turned his head in surprise, blood dripping from his most certainly broken nose

 

 

"Dixon " he barely whispered

 

 

a stupid bewildered look on his face

 

 

"what the fuck are you doing ?? " The younger Dixon spat, glancing at Rick and back at Simon

 

 

the man had a deadly look in his eyes, hidden behind a curtain of long shaggy hair 

 

 

Simon pulled his hand away from the man's grip and adjusted his shirt

 

 

'' I found this piece of shit going through the tents.....so I'm gonna teach him  the rules of my camp " Simon smirked at rick

 

 

" It ain't your camp Simon " the man spat

 

 

Simon looked back at him as his face twisted in anger

 

 

" I know that Dixon..but I am  top dog when the boss ain't  here '' he glared  at  him

 

 

" and I caught this fucker trying to steal from us..the saviors..... the very people who saved his worthless life..I think the boss will be more than ok with me going ahead here  Dixon " 

 

rick gritted his teeth as his blood boiled with rage at this prick's lies ...

 

 

 

"I  wasn't stealing nothing you fucking moron, I was looking for my belongings ..then I was gonna split '' rick spat, blazing blue eyes trained on the taller man

 

 

"oh ok" Simon cocked his head to the side, grinning like an asshole

 

 

 

" so you were gonna steal from us and then sneak off into the fucking night like a fucking snake in the grass " 

 

 

"let Negan deal with it " the man with the burnt face said from the side

 

 

Rick suddenly felt  a wave of nausea wash over him and his head lulled forward as he looked at the muddy ground beneath him

 

 

 

it was moving from side to side and he closed his  eyes tightly, trying to shake the nausea 

 

 

 

"Negan ain't here...I am  !!!! " he heard Simon yell

 

 

 

He swayed on his legs  as he was being held up by two men, under the armpits, like a puppet

 

 

 

His face was bleeding profusely and he saw blood dripping into the mud in front  of his boots

 

 

 

"you know .......merle told me this is the same prick from Black River who always locked him in the slammer..." he growled 

 

 

Rick lifted his heavy head up, his stomach churning

 

 

'' Tells me, him and that fucking sheriff  hung some of our men too ..our friends..our brothers ..made a big song and dance about it too, had all the townspeople  watching on" Simon's face twisted  angrily

 

 

''yeah well Merle's known to talk a lot of fucking bullshit " his brother spat from the side

 

 

"maybe" Simon began to stalk toward Rick

 

 

Rick's vision became blurry and he shook his head, damp curls  sticking to his bloody face

 

 

"maybe not" he gritted his teeth in Rick's face

 

 

"what do you say deputy prick....is merle telling the truth?  huh...did you kill our boys ?? '' 

 

 

Rick felt Simon's breath on his face

 

 

Rick glared at Simon, two sharp blue eyes like icepicks boring into Simon's lifeless brown ones

 

 

the tension hung in the air as the entire camp was silent

 

 

the two men glared at each other, not blinking or moving

 

 

"leave it Simon " the scarred faced man said, releasing the tension

 

 

 

Simon turned his head to him and Rick mumbled something under his breath

 

 

Simon's head whipped  back around to Rick in an instant,  a scowl on his ugly face

 

 

 

"what the fuck did you say lawman ? '' he yelled in Rick's face

 

 

 

" Simon....let it go  "Merle's brother said, as he picked up his crossbow and placed it on his shoulder casually

 

 

Rick smirked at Simon

 

 

Simon's scowl turned into something sinister, his facial features seemed to twist and morph in the dark

 

 

 

 

it sent a shiver up Rick's spine, but it was too late, he had provoked him now

 

 

 

 

 Rick didn't see it coming but felt the force of Simon's fist smashing into his nose

 

 

 

 

his head was thrown to the side  from the force and he tasted blood in his mouth

 

 

 

"back off Simon" the younger Dixon yelled

 

 

 

Simon ignored him and grabbed rick's chin with his fingers, jerking his foggy head up to look at his angry face

 

 

 

"come on lawman..you got something to say ..lemme hear it " Simon roared  and punched  him in the cheek, splitting even more of his stitches open

 

 

Rick yelled out in pain

 

 

"not so mouthy now are ya asshole..I'm gonna rip that fucking pretty face apart by the end of the night " Simon screamed

 

 

 

That strike made Rick go limp in the strong savior's hands and he hung there like a ragdoll, almost on his knees

 

 

 

every muscle in his aching body  was giving up

 

 

 

"Simon Enough !!!  " Dixon yelled

 

 

 

"get him up on his feet boys...I'm not finished yet " Simon yelled to his goons

 

 

 

they hauled Rick to his feet as his head flopped forward

 

 

 

 the pain in his face was intense

 

 

"fucking pussy..not so tough now...I'm gonna teach you what I do to lawmen who take pleasure in hanging saviors" Simon yelled

 

 

 

He grabbed rick's curls tightly and pulled on them, making Rick's head tilt up

 

 

 

his eyes didn't even land on Simon, as he was punched again and again in the face

 

 

 

Every hit felt like his skin was being ripped open over and over again

 

 

 

 

"fucking smart ass mouth of yours will get you killed here deputy " Simon yelled

 

 

 

the blood was rushing in Rick's ears as he was punched in the stomach

 

 

 

the two saviors holding him up  let him go and he dropped to the ground

 

 

 

He stared stunned at his shaking hands sinking into  the mud

 

 

 

he wasn't sure how much more his body could take ,this prick was breaking him

 

 

 

" I said BACK THE FUCK OFF "Merle's brother yelled

 

 

 

Rick tasted blood in his mouth and he raised a muddy hand up to the side of his temple, as his brain thudded in  his skull like a drum

 

 

 

"what the fuck Dixon" Simon yelled, shocked

 

 

rick glanced up to the men and saw The younger Dixon brother right behind Simon, his crossbow raised and aimed at the back of his head, a deadly look on his face

 

 

 

Notes:

well, the walking dead filmed its last episode on the 30th of March, 2022 😥

I began watching it when it was in season 3 and instantly became hooked. going back and watching all previous seasons

My fav characters of course are rick and Negan (der )

Im hoping to see rick in the final episode 😍😍

Chapter 18

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

"what the fuck Dixon !!! " Simon yelled, as he furrowed his brows, hands in the air 

 

 

" Negan said he was off limits " the younger Dixon yelled

 

 

"Yeah well,  obviously he isn't aware that he has murdered several saviors...."

 

 

" that's coming from  Merle..he talks  a lot of shit ..... especially when he had too much to drink...'' the younger man spat

 

 

"so you're calling your own flesh and blood a fucking liar ?? "Simon's eyes darted to the side

 

 

"you're taking this lawman's side  over your own brother "

 

 

"I ain't taking sides here Simon...the boss said he was off limits..end of story" Darryl glanced at Rick

 

 

Simon's  eyes darted to Rick and back to Darryl

 

 

'' get this  fucking thing off me asshole "

 

 

"let him up" Darryl growled

 

 

Simon was silent and glared at Rick

 

 

"NOW  " he yelled pushing the end of the crossbow into the back of Simon's head harder

 

 

"ok ..ok" Simon yelled, flinching in pain

 

 

"Fucks sake " he added, looking annoyed

 

 

his angry eyes looked over at the two saviors who were standing next to rick, hunched over in the mud

 

 

 he jerked his chin to them, a scowl on his face

 

 

"boss ?'' one asked,confused

 

 

 

" Get  him up " Simon gritted his teeth

 

 

 

the two saviors looked at each other for a moment and back at Simon, dumbly

 

 

" But I thought you said ....."

 

 

"NOW  you morons..can't you see Dixon has a fucking crossbow to my head" Simon yelled

 

 

 

"he won't use it..he's just trying to earn points with the boss ...like usual" one spat, spitefully

 

 

Darryl's dark eyes darted to the man and his lip curled up slightly

 

 

"ok come on guys..we are all family here..we don't need to fight amongst ourselves...... the fights out there" the scarred faced man yelled ,pointing towards the border of the  camp 

 

Simon narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

Rick licked the blood off his lip and brushed his wet curls back off his face,not looking at Simon

 

 

"you tell Dixon that..he's the asshole who's pulled that piece of shit on me ..were supposed to be brothers here Dixon..like dwighty boy said " Simon yelled

 

 

" let him up" Darryl repeated in a grunt

 

 

Simon rolled his eyes dramatically and look at his goons once more

 

 

"help the deputy to his feet boys  " he said with gritted teeth

 

 

the two men looked at each other

 

 

Rick looked up to Simon and saw his hand clenching into a fist and knew this wasn't going to end until Negan showed up...where the fuck was he ???

 

 

the two men grabbed rick under the underarms roughly and pulled the limp man to his feet

 

 

his whole body screamed out in agony and he let out a loud grunt of pain

 

 

his head spun  form the sudden upwards movement, as the whole camp, including Simon seemed to spin around for a few seconds

 

 

he tasted bile in his throat but swallowed it down feeling insanely nauseous

 

 

"there....... happy Dixon..I won't touch another hair on his pretty little head....are we all friends again " Simon snapped sarcastically

 

 

Darryl didnt move, the  crossbow still pointed into the back of Simon's head

 

 

"deals a deal..lower that piece of shit before your fucking finger  slips and  you kill me asshole" Simon spat at Darryl

 

 

"I never slip" the younger Dixon grunted

 

 

"but there's always a first" he added, slyly

 

 

rick smirked at the comment

 

 

Simon glared at him 

 

 

"something funny ass..."  he took one step forward

 

 

Darryl shoved the crossbow into him again  as a  warning not to start anything, cutting off his words abruptly

 

 

he stopped,curling his lip up

 

 

"This shit's  finished " Darryl turned his head to the crowd, yelling  loud enough for everyone to hear

 

 

"Negan will be back from the horses in a minute and he will sort this shit out" he turned his head back to Simon

 

 

"not you" he growled in his ear

 

 

Simon glared at rick, blood running down from his nose

 

 

Rick felt steady enough to pull his arms out of the goon's grip and straightened himself up, tucking  his ripped and blood covered shirt back into his pants, as he flinched in pain

 

Simon had a strange smirk on his face as he watched Rick

 

 

no one seemed to leave the scene

 

 

Darryl turned back to them

 

 

"said fuck off...shows over " he yelled

 

 

they all whispered and glanced at Rick, something he was becoming accustomed to in this camp, and began to walk away

 

 

 Darryl took a few steps back from Simon and looked over at Rick

 

 

"Move your ass deputy..... ill walk you back to your tent" he said with distain, like this was all  Rick's fault

 

 

"don't need a fucking babysitter" rick spat glancing at the man

 

 

"don't fucking care..you've caused enough  disruptions in this camp for one night"

 

 

rick furrowed his brows at the younger Dixon

 

 

"what the fuck did I do ?? ..this fucker came at me..." he pointed angrily at Simon

 

 

 

some of the people who had  begun to walk away turned around  and walked back to the new argument unfolding

 

 

 

 

"see Dixon..ungrateful son of a bitch isn't he ..should of let me have  my way with him " he smirked at Rick

 

 

"shut the fuck up Simon"  darryl glared at Simon

 

 

"you" he pointed the end of his crossbow at Rick

 

 

"move your ass" he spat

 

 

rick glared at  Simon and began to walk toward Darryl

 

 

Simon deliberately knocked rick's shoulder with his own as he passed

 

 

Rick stilled, eyes fierce, looking into Simon's eyes

 

 

"fucking leave it" Darryl yelled

 

 

Rick glared at Simon for a few minutes and it was only because he was sure he'd faint soon from getting the shit kicked out of him and blood loss, that he sighed loudly and walked towards his bag that had fallen off his shoulder earlier

 

 

he picked  it up throwing it over his shoulder

 

 

he groaned in pain, as his muscles pulled in agony

 

 

"pussy" Simon mumbled

 

 

Rick stilled and glared at Darryl

 

 

"leave it man" he narrowed his eyes

 

 

Rick's lip curled up and he dropped his bag, spinning around and smashing Simon in the face with his fist

 

 

 

his whole body screamed out in pain, but he pushed it down

 

 

Simon fell to the ground from the unexpected hit and rick was on top of him instantly

 

 

he didnt care about the pain shooting through his body like lighting, he wanted to kill this son of a bitch

 

 

"for  fucks sake" rick heard Darryl yell, annoyed

 

 

a few muffled noises rang in Rick's ear and someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulling him off Simon

 

 

He assumed it was Darryl, but before he could protest  he was punched directly in the nose once again and fell back on his ass, hard in the mud

 

 

he looked up and saw the crossbow aimed at his face, almost going cross-eyed it was that close

 

 

he heard a chilling laugh, that made his blood go cold

 

 

Simon was now standing upright, and beside him was not Darryl holding the crossbow, but one of Simon's goons 

 

 

Darryl was over to the side being held down by two saviors, struggling under their weight, grunting like a wild animal

 

 

Rick was leaning back on his palms as the two men  stood in front of him

 

 

Simon slapped the man next to him on the back and grinned down on rick like he was his prey

 

 

"well well well lookie here..the tables sure have turned haven't they deputy prick" he laughed obnoxiously

 

 

Rick couldn't take his eyes off the sharp and very deadly arrow pointed directly in the middle of his forehead

 

 

Simon took the weapon off his goon and his eyes narrowed at Rick

 

 

 

"I'm gonna fucking kill you" Darryl yelled under the men, struggling to no avail

 

 

they simply laughed

 

 

Simon had a  sly look on his face and  a terrible unnerving smile swept across his face

 

 

 

"oh Dixon..you are just adorable when your mad " he laughed,looking at him

 

 

 

he looked back at Rick

 

 

" Now where were we asshole" he spat

 

 

 

Rick made an attempt to get to his feet

 

 

 

but Simon jerked the large weapon into Rick's face

 

 

 

"..don't try anything deputy ....I've never handled this piece of shit before...you never know..... my  finger just might slip" he jerked the crossbow forward

 

 

 Rick flinch back in fright

 

 

he smirked down at Rick, knowing he finally got a reaction out of the  man

 

 

 

he began to pace back and forth, crossbow at his side, as the camp fell silent

 

 

 

everyone was looking at rick on  the ground

 

 

 

Rick felt humiliated, much like he did with Shane and he curled his lip up in frustration

 

 

 

"Negan's gonna end you Simon" Darryl yelled

 

 

 

Simon stopped mid-pace and looked over at Darryl

 

 

 

Rick knew  Simon wouldn't dare go through with his threats ( wounding him yeh ) ..but actually killing him

 

 

 

 he wouldn't dare take that chance and have Negan on his ass...or would he ???

 

 

 

He had to challenge him and  get out of this, or die trying 

 

 

 

"fucking pussy " he whispered

 

 

 

simons head whipped around so fast, Rick thought it would snap right off

 

 

 

"What did you say you prick ??? " he turned his whole body to face rick, aiming the crossbow at him

 

 

 

"shut the fuck up you moron..you wanna get yourself killed ?? " scar face yelled at Rick

 

 

 

Rick paid him no attention, keeping his eyes fixed on Simon 

 

 

 

"he won't do it...he would have done it already..he's just trying to prove to his worthless goons that he has the  balls to kill the man Negan said was off limits " rick smiled

 

 

simons face twisted

 

 

"But you don't in fact have any balls do you, Simon..you in fact are a scared little boy, afraid of big bad Negan  ?? " he spat the last word and smirked

 

 

 

Simon began to shake with anger as his eyes narrowed over the crossbow

 

 

 

"shut the fuck up" Simon yelled

 

 

 

''you don't have the balls to pull that trigger...... "  Rick  spat 

 

 

"don't you fucking do it Simon" Darryl yelled

 

 

"do it " rick yelled

 

 

 

"come on Simon...put it down man  " scar-face tried to speak calmly to the man

 

 

 

"do it boss" one goon called out

 

 

 

"...you talk a big game..but deep down inside your just a pathetic criminal living in Negan's shadow " rick spat, taunting Simon confidently

 

 

 

a voice in the back of his head was screaming at him, telling him to shut the fuck up

 

 

 

but his stubbornness go the better of him

 

 

 

"im in NO ONES shadow you piece of shit" Simon  was visibly struggling to steady his fingers on the trigger now 

 

 

 

"Simon put it down " Darryl yelled

 

 

 

"do it, Simon..kill the bastard,he dont belong here "  another savior called out 

 

 

 

"he killed saviors..end the lawman '' another called out

 

 

 

rick sat up on his knees, arms  outstretched, glaring up at Simon, eyes fearless

 

 

 

"come on ..I'm right here  " Rick yelled, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

Simon's face  twisted with anger and confusion  as he blinked repeatedly down at Rick

 

 

 

rick knew he wouldn't  fire, he would make Simon look like a gutless dog in front of  the entire  camp by the night's end

 

 

 

"I'm not scared of a worthless outlaw scumbag  like you " rick spoke before he realised what he had said

 

 

he swore the camp all gasped at his comment

 

 

 

suddenly the wind  was knocked from his lungs and he felt like hed been hit by a stagecoach in the shoulder

 

 

 

his whole body flew back with the force and the back of his head hit the ground with a bang !!!

 

 

 

the most sensational pain he had ever felt in his entire life shot through his shoulder and radiated through his  whole body

 

 

it hurt more than the wounds he sustained in the  civil war

 

 

more than Shane shooting him in the forehead that night

 

 

 

getting his face cut off, beaten black and blue

 

 

 

 breaking multiple  bones was nothing, none of those things compared to the pain he was feeling  in his right shoulder at the moment

 

 

 

 he lay stunned for a moment, the pain coming to a dull throbbing sensation

 

 

 

 he  realised was looking up at the night sky, laying on his back

 

 

 

thousands of stars shone brightly down on him

 

 

he looked slowly to the right of his body and saw an arrow sticking out of his shoulder, pointing  directly up to the night sky

 

 

it was a strange feeling, unlike a gunshot

 

 

a wave of panic suddenly sunk in...... he was shot

 

 

 he blinked stupidly  trying to decipher if this was really happening  or not  

 

 

 he  lifted his head off the ground and grabbed at the arrow protruding out of his bloody shoulder, trying to pull it out

 

 

the pain shot through him and he screamed out in agony, making the back of his head fly back down into the mud

 

 

it was real, Simon had actually shot him with the crossbow at close range

 

 

he slightly acknowledged people yelling, Darryl struggling off to the side, and scarface being held back by some saviors by his chest

 

 

he maneuvered himself up onto  his knees, screaming out in agony as the arrow ripped through skin, bone, and muscle

 

 

tears formed in his eyes as he felt like he was about to faint from the  intense pain

 

 

his body was  slumped over, head hanging forward,his entire shoulder falling limp at his side, bleeding profusely

 

 

a pair of worn boots suddenly came into his blurry vision, standing directly in front of him

 

 

he knew it could only be one person

 

 

his heart began to beat at a rapid pace,as adrenaline rushed through his veins

 

 

 

his curls were grabbed and pulled, making rick's teary blue eyes stare  up into simon's malice  ones

 

 

the terror in Rick's eyes must have been obvious, as Simon smirked deviously

 

 

his confidence had returned and a glimmer of evil shone in his eyes

 

 

he let go of rick's curls and knelt down to rick's level, looking at the arrow sticking out of his shoulder

 

 

rick was pale and sweat began to  form on his brow, as he breathed  erratically

 

 

"fuck..that must really hurt" Simon grinned in rick's face

 

 

Rick's lip curled up in the corner and he  spat a large mouthful of saliva directly in Simon's face, making him recoil back with disgust

 

 

he wiped the spit away with his hand and grabbed the end of the arrow and twisted it into rick's shoulder

 

 

rick howled out in agony as it felt like  the metal end was actually grinding into his shoulder bone, digging ridges into it

 

 

Simon's face twisted 

 

 

rick felt like he was about to pass out and he actually hoped he would, at least he would be rid of this agony 

 

 

"filthy rotten lawman..not so mouthy now are ya" Simon laughed, twisting the arrow in harder

 

 

rick fell onto his back in pure agony as Simon let go of the arrow, looming over him

 

 

"I'm gonna fucking kill you, you son of a bitch" rick yelled with gritted teeth to the sky

 

 

Simon was silent and rick could just see the top of his head as he began to pace back and forth beside him again

 

 

 

rick didnt feel so cocky now as the  camp was silent

 

 

 

his sudden rush of  confidence felt like it was choking him  now as he swallowed a large lump down in his throat

 

 

 

he lifted his head up to see Simon, but his shoulder pulled in agony

 

 

 he gritted his teeth  and yelled out in pain flopping it back down in the mud, feeling defeated

 

 

Simon clicked his tongue 

 

 

"what will we do with you deputy ?'' Simon said unusually quiet

 

 

"Should I put you out of your misery  now...or..."

 

 

 

"don't you fucking do it Simon" Darryl yelled, interrupting him

 

 

 

"you shut the fuck up Dixon " he spun around aiming the crossbow at the man, pinned under several saviors

 

 

 

"...this doesn't concern you no more...as far as im concerned your a trador just like him " simon bellowed

 

 

" ill deal with you later  "

 

 

he spun back around, a sadistic grin on his evil face

 

 

"now lawman..the last thing I want you to do for me before I put you out of your fucking misery..is...admit to  all the fine folk here that you killed our fellow saviors..our friends, our family" he grinned

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, not wanting to believe this was happening

 

 

Simon hovered over Rick and smiled, crossbow aimed at his head now

 

 

"..nice and loud now so everyone can hear you "he grinned

 

 

rick was silent  and glared up at Simon

 

 

Simon's lip curled up in anger and he put his boot directly down on  top of the arrow, pushing it deeper into rick's body

 

 

 

rick screamed out in agony and brought his free arm up to try and get his boot off it

 

 

 

"I can't hear you deputy " Simon sang, his free  hand over his ear mockingly

 

 

rick twisted his body to the side, to try and knock Simon's boot off the arrow but Simon's  weight bearing down  was no match for ricks diminishing strength

 

 

rick was weakening, as his head spun

 

 

"let him up Simon" scar face yelled, being held back by two saviors

 

 

 

"come on he's had enough" he added

 

 

 

Simon ignored him and  leered down at rick and removed his boot

 

 

 

rick yelled out in pain and grabbed at his shoulder, his heart was racing and his entire body began to panic, as his breathing became labored

 

 

 

 

 hot tears began streaming down bloody cheecks

 

 

 

 

"awww the deputy is crying...just like a fucking woman.." Simon laughed to the  camp

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes tightly, trying to steady his breathing

 

 

 

"whos the pussy now asshole ? '' he spat

 

 

he looked down on rick like he was a piece of shit on the bottom of his boot

 

 

 

" have you had enough lawman? ''  Simon said calmly

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

Simon kicked him in the already sore and possibly broken ribs

 

 

rick screamed out  in agony

 

 

"I asked you a fucking question " simon spat, kicking rick again

 

 

 

"and in the savior's camp, you  speak when your  fucking spoken too " he roared, kicking him once more

 

 

 

Rick rolled over on his left side, curled in on himself, wanting to  simply disappear

 

 

 

"you fucking mongrel '' Darryl yelled

 

 

 

Simon  smirked  over at him 

 

 

"now ,now Dixon, no need for the name calling...that's just childish  "he grinned

 

 

 

rick rolled back onto his back and  looked at Simon, eyes filled with  terror and tears

 

 

 

"maybe I should just finish you right here and now...I mean you don't look too good deputy  '' he threw his head back, laughing

 

 

 

 

rick felt weak and averted his eyes  to look up to the night sky

 

 

 

Simon knelt down quickly and grabbed rick's chin roughly in his thumb and forefinger

 

 

 

"don't you look away from me  asshole " he roared

 

 

Rick's eyes were heavy

 

 

" let him up Simon, he's gonna die you son of a bitch" Darryl's voice was  more muffled than before 

 

 

as a ringing sensation filled Rick's ears

 

 

"you gonna die asshole ?? " Simon jerked  rick's chin back and forth making his head flop around like a ragdoll

 

 

Simon stopped grinning  and stood up, sighing loudly 

 

 

"ok...this is getting boring now" he rolled his head back looking into the night sky

 

 

he took a few steps back 

 

 

rick knew what was coming

 

 

 he never thought it would end like this

 

 

down in the fucking mud, defeated, broken

 

 

 

he always believed he would go out fighting, strong, confident

 

 

 

but his fucking stubbornness is what would be the end of him, right here, tonight

 

 

he saw Simon stop in front of him and aim the crossbow at him

 

 

Rick closed his eyes and waited for the final blow that would end his miserable life 

 

 

at least he would be reunited with his family

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

I had way too much fun writing this chapter !!!

I'm beginning to think I have a twisted side to my personality 🤣🤣

poor old rick..where the fuck is Negan ??

Chapter 19

Notes:

Negans coming 😤

Chapter Text

" now ......this just won't do deputy...." Simon's voice made rick open his eyes

 

 

"I want  to look you in the fucking  eyes when I finish you  " Simon sniggered

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows..was this fuck serious ??

 

 

if it wasn't enough he was most certainly minutes away from bleeding out, but now this son of a bitch wanted  to be looking him in the fucking eyes when he fired that final arrow into his chest

 

 

His weak hands rolled into fists as he gritted his teeth

 

 

" fellas...if you could get the deputy to his feet   " Simon spoke softly  

 

 

the men next to Rick grabbed him under the armpits and hurled him to his feet in a sudden movement, that made the arrow pull and twist into his shoulder blade

 

 

he screamed out in agony, as his head spun 

 

 

his head flopped  forward as the  two strong saviors held him up, his legs hanging loosely, knees almost touching the  dirt, hanging like a puppet on a string

 

 

 

"hold him  up straight fellas...wanna see those baby blues " simons voice sounded muffled in rick's ears like he was underwater

 

 

 

the two men manhandled rick and he screamed out in pain

 

 

 

simons  obnoxious laughter made Rick's blood boil under his skin

 

 

 

he lifted his head, face covered in blood, his wet curls sticking to his face and his lip curled up at the side as he bared his blood stained teeth, like a rabid dog

 

 

 

Simon made a smug face at Rick's reaction and he  lowered the crossbow in his hand

 

 

 

"still trying to act tough deputy..you're near death " he smirked and stepped closer

 

 

 

Rick's blazing eyes stared into simons half lidded ones

 

 

 

simon's  eyes flicked  to the end of the arrow sticking out of Rick's shoulder

 

 

 

".... that looks like it hurts" he made a sad face,pouting his lip,mockingly

 

 

'' you fuck "rick spat

 

 


"does it....does it hurt deputy ??'' he smirked, tilting his head

 

 

rick glared at him

 

 

 Simon grabbed the end of the arrow and twisted it again for the second time that night

 

 

 

Rick was sure his screams would have been heard back in Black River..somewhere he wished he was right now, with a large whiskey in his hands

 

 

 

" I asked you a question deputy..I expect an answer.. say it...'' Simon gritted his teeth

 

 

''.tell me it hurts " Simon grinned and twisted it again

 

 

 

"fuck you " rick spat out, with gritted teeth

 

 

 

Simon's stupid grin  faded and was replaced by a scowl

 

 

 

"no ....no.... that's  not what I wanna  hear...." he leaned in close to Rick's ear and Rick flinched as his hot breath hit the shell of his ear

 

 

 

"I wanna hear you scream" he whispered

 

 

 

 a shiver ran up Rick's spine

 

 

 

Simon stepped back with a satisfied look on his ugly face and looked rick up and down slowly

 

 

"...you're a tough son of a bitch..ill give you that......" he said  in a tone that  made rick feel uneasy

 

 

 

it was calm and soft

 

 

"doesn't mean I ain't gonna finish what Shane started..you killed our men..you were trying to steal from  us..." he added

 

 

 

he took another step towards rick, their faces inches apart

 

 

 

" No lawman steals from the saviors  " he  bared his teeth

 

 

 

he took  several steps backward and raised the crossbow in a dramatic way

 

 

 

"Since you've been such a champ, ill make this last one nice and quick ..what do you say about that deputy ?? '' he looked over the  crossbow at rick

 

 

 

Rick remained  silent

 

 

was the fuck waiting for a response ??

 

 

 

 

Simon closed one eye and his finger pulled on the trigger

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his  eyes, the strange ringing noise filled his ears once more and  he waited for that final blow

 

 

 

suddenly an almightly gunshot echoed through Rick's ears, silencing the ringing for a moment

 

 

 

there was a howl  next to him  like someone was in pain  

 

 

 

 one side of his body semed to flop to one side as one savior fell to the ground

 

 

 

there was an array of yelling, muffled voices, and flashes of color

 

 

 

another gunshot had the other savior flying back through the air like he was hit in the chest by  an invisible force

 

 

 

Rick's ears were filled with a loud ringing and he fell to his knees, not being held up by the two saviors anymore, and covered his throbbing head with both hands

 

 

 

the savior howled out in agony as Rick flashed his eyes to the man next to him

 

 

 

he was  holding his now bleeding thigh, a large chunk was missing, with blood and flesh lying near it

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widened at the sight next to

 

 

 

several shrill screams ripped from the  women looking on  in the crowd that had formed

 

 

"what the almighty fucking fuckity fuck  is going on here" Negan's voice raged  like  thunder  through Rick's ears

 

 

 

rick  closed his eyes shut tightly his  voice actually feeling like it was splitting his head apart

 

 

 

 

but he was very glad to finally see him present at the camp and stop this onslaught

 

 

 

 

 

"SIMON what the fuck do you  think you're fucking doing ? " negan yelled

 

 

 

Rick took his hands off his head and finally looked up

 

 

 

Negan was standing behind a sheepish looking Simon, his Winchester shotgun pointed directly at the back of his head

 

 

 

simons face was filled with pure shock and genuine fear

 

 

 

Negan's was filled with malice, anger, and something else Rick couldn't quite see, his hat making a dark shadow above his eyes

 

 

 

" boss...I..I  he..... " Simon stumbled over his  word, sounding like  the gutless asshole Rick knew he was

 

 

 

Negan glared down at rick, not an ounce of concern on his face

 

 

 

" and Why  the fuck  are you  out of your  tent" Negan yelled at rick, pointing the barrel of the  shotgun at him

 

 

 


Rick furrowed his brows

 

 


"caught him going through our tents, he was looking to steal our shit boss...I thought you would have wanted him punished for it " Simon glared down at rick

 

 

 

"bullshit " Darryl's voice came out from behind Negan's broad shoulders

 

 

 

rick shifted his heavy eyes towards the younger Dixon, who was now standing up, the crossbow back in his hands, a scowl on his face, hidden behind his long greasy hair

 

 

 

rick looked on the ground beside Darryl where  merle and scarface had the two men who had previously had Darryl pinned to the ground, now at their mercy with guns pointed to their heads

 

"he wasn't stealing nothing.....  Simon's had it out for him the second  he  turned up  here " he added

 

 

 

" that's a fucking lie Dixon   " Simon yelled, glancing behind him, not daring to turn around fully to meet Negan's blazing eyes

 

 

 

" You shut the fuck up " Negan growled out at Simon, the shot gun pointed back at his head

 

 

 

Rick let his head hang to the ground

 

 

 

someone knelt down in front of him and put their hand on his uninjured shoulder

 

 

 

he lifted his head, blood and tears mixing in his mouth making him feel sick

 

 

it was Carol

 

 

her expression  was a mixture of apologetic and concern

 

 

 

"Jesus Rick..what  has he done to you " she whispered, eyes wide looking him over

 

 

 

"Carol "  Negan spoke

 

 

 

she turned her head to him and Rick glanced to  him

 

 

 


'' take... " he paused, his lips pressed tightly together

 

 

 

" this ... man to his tent and see what you can fix " he spat glaring at Rick

 

 

" And you" he pointed his shotgun at Rick again 

 

 

 

 

" ill fucking deal with  you later " he yelled out like Rick was a child

 

 

 

Rick felt a slight twinge of hurt in the his stomach..was Negan actually  fucking mad at HIM for this shit ??

 

 

he was about to say something, but bit his lip...he had caused enough drama for one night and his body couldn't take anymore. The hard cot in the tent did sound appealing at the moment

 

 

"boss i..he " Simon began  stammering 

 

 

 

 

" I told you to shut the fuck up " Negan snapped at him

 

 

 

Carol attempted to help Rick to his feet, but he was just dead weight, his body felt like it was being  weighed down

 

 

 

"Darryl.... love will you help me" she turned her head to the younger Dixon

 

 

 

 

he glanced at Negan and he nodded his head to him

 

 

 


Darryl handed merle his crossbow and he aimed it at the men on the ground, their faces twisting in pain as he shoved it into the tender skin at the base of their necks

 

 

 

he walked over and they got Rick to his feet, putting one arm over Darryl's shoulder, his wounded one hung by his side, as carol put her arm around his waist to steady him as they slowly headed towards the tent

 

 

 

Rick looked over his shoulder at Simon and Simon gave him a deathly stare

 

 

rick  turned back to the front and let the two saviors practically carry him back  to the  tent

Chapter 20

Notes:

I found this chapter super hard to write and finish..Def a large drop in motivation for me on this one ....

Maybe from the lack of having any Rick and Negan interaction in The Walking dead for several years ☹

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

 Small white dots were dancing in front   of Rick's eyes and he was  stumbling over his own feet

 

 

 

He didn't know how Carol and Daryl got him back to the tent, but the next thing he knew, he was sitting down on the cot

 

 

 

 Carol  was bent over in front of him, looking at his shoulder with  concern  spread across her face

 

 

 

 Daryl was  rushing around behind her

 

 

 

Rick blinked slowly  at her as a strange buzzing sound rang in both his ears

 

 

 

 his shoulder felt like it was made of lead, but  numb at the same time 

 

 

 

He looked at it dazed, blood was everywhere he looked, seeping through his shirt, the arrow had Impailed him and gone right through his shoulder, sticking out at the other side

 

 


Carol  touched  Rick's shoulder, and his eyes flashed to her immediately,  suddenly wide with fear and  anger  and he grabbed her wrist tightly

 

 


she gasped as their eyes met

 

 

 

"it's ok..you're ok  now Rick..No one is going to hurt you  ..... " she said  softly, her eyes flicking  back to his shoulder

 

 

 


Rick let go of her wrist, letting his hand drop in  his lap like it was made of lead

 

 

 

he  closed his eyes, inhaling a deep shaky breath

 

 

 

'' Daryl I need sherry and Frankie  in here now ..and  get my medical equipment from my tent please.....hurry" she yelled, not turning her head

 

 

 

Daryl stopped whatever he was doing behind her and went to leave

 

 

 

"and get another strong set of hands in here.." she looked directly into Rick's eyes

 

 

 

"im gonna need to hold the deputy down for this..... I dont think ill have the strength " she furrowed her brows as Rick looked up to her with  tired eyes

 

 

 

Daryl stood still, looking at the two, a worried look on his face

 

 

 

Carol turned her head to him

 

 

 

"GO NOW" she yelled

 

 

 

Daryl disappeared into the darkness as she turned back to rick

 

 

 

suddenly the tent flaps flew in dramatically and there stood a furious looking Negan,  shotgun in his hand

 

 

 

" You wanna explain to me what the fuck that was out there Grimes ?? " he roared, pointing his gun outside the tent

 

 

 

Rick didn't have the strength for Negan right now, his brain was thumping through his skull

 

 

 

He  looked  down  at his blood stained boots  and closed his eyes

 

 

 

" Hey..hey " Carol yelled and she shook him by his good shoulder

 

 

 

 

His eyes popped open wide as  pain shot through his  body and he hissed, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry Rick...you can't go to sleep..I need you to stay awake for me ok " she looked at him

 

 

 

 

"HELLO " Negan yelled, both arms stretched to the side

 

 

 

"I'm still waiting for a fucking explanation of what the fucking fuck was going on out there" he roared

 

 

 

 

His voice thumped in Rick's skull and he raised his hands to cover  his ears, closing his eyes tightly

 

 

 

 

 "Negan ..not now " Carol furrowed her brows, putting her hands over Rick's and pulling them away, as she looked over Rick's open stitches 

 

 

 

"..I'm the fucking leader here Carol..or has everyone  forgotten that '' he yelled

 

 

 

she stood up straight and glared at him

 

 

 

"...what did you do with Simon ??  " she said seemingly ignoring his leader remark

 

 

 

"Simon had every right to keep the camp safe " Negan seemingly ignored her question 

 

 

 

"SAFE" she yelled

 

 

 

"..look what he's fucking done to him...he damn near killed him.." she pointed angrily at rick

 

 

 

Carol began to remove Rick's shirt and he didnt protest

 

 

 

she paused when she got to his right side sleeve, a pensive look on her face

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows and  looked at what she was looking at

 

 

 

the arrow was sticking the entire right sleeve  of his shirt to his skin and body

 

 

 

"You were told to stay in this fucking tent..I can't have fucking lawmen running around a savior camp...it puts my men on edge...I want a fucking explanation Grimes  !!! why did  you fucking disobey me ???..it was in your best interest to stay in here " he yelled

 

 

 

Carol opened her mouth to say something but Daryl reentered the tent followed by Frankie, sherry and scarface

 

 

 

 they all stopped upon entering the tent, staring at Rick's injuries and glancing up at Negan's furious face

 

 

 

"come on.... what the hell are you all waiting for...this man is injured   " Carol stood up straight, waving her arms around

 

 

 

there was a flurry of color in front of rick's eyes and  he desperately wanted to go to sleep

 

 

 

Negan walked further into the tent and  toward Rick

 

 

 

Rick   glanced at him with tired eyes

 

 

 

The look on his face was pure hate, anger and betrayal, but something softened when he faced Rick head on 

 

 

"Jesus fuck Grimes..why the fuck couldn't you just wait in the fucking tent until I got back huh ?? I told you not to fucking leave.." he ran a hand through his hair

 

 

Rick  desperately wanted to sleep and he glanced at the pillow beside him, ignoring Negan

 

 

 

 he swung his heavy legs up onto the cot and lay down on his good side

 

 

 

with his back now turned to Negan his face twisted in anger

 

 

 

"Are you even fucking listening to me asshole ???  ....you have no idea the shit I have to deal with out there now  because of you " he yelled looming over Rick on the cot

 

 

 

the cot was soft and he closed his eyes for a brief moment

 

 

 

"NO Rick  " Carol's voice ripped him from  darkness, as she shook him roughly

 

 

 

"Negan, please...if you're not going to help..ill have to ask you  to leave " Carol snapped trying to get more room  between herself and Negan

 

 

 

 

"Frankie..sherry..come on have you got those pliers ready ?? '' Carol called over her shoulder

 

 

 

 

she pulled Rick up to an upright position and he pushed her hand away half-heartedly

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick I need you to face me now " she said pulling his legs back over the cot, his boots hitting the ground

 

 

 

 

 

he desperately wanted to sleep and be left alone,he felt so weak

 

 

 

 

he  acknowledged the 3  women  standing in front of him fussing with his shirt again

 

 

 

he felt  their hands pulling at his body and he was getting annoyed

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows and pushed the hands away, a little harder than previously

 

 

 

a blur of bodies and faces flashed in front of him

 

 

 

"ok, Rick now I need you to hold still..i have to cut the arrow at each end and pull it through the wound " carol said calmly

 

 

 

 

he felt himself falling back onto the cot, his eyes heavy

 

 

 

 

He was pulled up roughly again and a sudden excruciating pain shot through his shoulder and he screamed out in pain and fright

 

 

 

 

" What the fuck " Rick yelled,suddenly very alert

 

 

 

before  his brain had even caught up with what was going on  another jolt of pain  shot through him like he had been  struck by  lightning

 

 

 

 shock waves flowed through every inch of his body from the top of  his head to the tip of his toes

 

 

 

blood was seeping down his entire right arm like a river  now  and onto the white sheets of the cot beneath him

 

 

 

he panicked and attempted to stand up and get the fuck out of this tent, he couldn't take any more pain..not tonight

 

 

 

A flurry of color and bodies appeared in front of his eyes and he felt several strong hands grab him and hold him forward as he felt a strange sensation in the back of his shoulder

 

 

 

Darryl and scarface's faces became apparent  as rick glared at them, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

"get ya fucking hands off me scum" he yelled in pure anger...not aware of what he was saying

 

 

 

 

his head was spinning and his vision was blurry, he just wanted to lay down and never be annoyed again

 

 

 

  the room began to spin

 

 

 

 

the constant grabbing at his shoulder was making him furious, he had had enough

 

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick, I have to cut the ends off or I won't be able to pull it through......I know it  hurts but...." Carol's voice echoed in his ear as she bent over him

 

 

 

"What the fuck do you know about pain " He screamed out, kicking his boots out at anyone he could connect with

 

 

 

 he began screaming as he felt the arrow twisting and turning in his flesh

 

 

 

 

'' Please stop " Rick yelled out, his voice sounding hoarse

 

 

 

 

"Im sorry Rick..you need this removed..I'm sorry " Carol's voice sounded muffled over the blood pumping through Rick's ears

 

 

 

 

another twist of the arrow had rick screaming out a sound he didnt know he was capable of making

 

 

 

 

" OK..OK Rick both ends are cut.. now  I must pull it out" Carol spoke calmly like this was nothing new to her

 

 

 

 

"Fuck that " Rick yelled and attempted to stand up again

 

 

 

 

"hold him down " Carol yelled

 

 

 

Strong hands grabbed at him and pushed him to his back

 

 

 

He felt several strong bodies practically sitting on him holding him down

 

 

 

 

he threw his head back and forth on the pillow just wanting some relief from the agony that was electrifying his entire body

 

 

 

" get the fuck off me assholes " He screamed

 

 

 

He lashed out at the bodies on top of him, his fist connecting  with someone's head, making them fall right off the cot, howling in pain

 

 

 

He heard several women scream out in fright, as  blurred bodies backed  away from Rick

 

 

 

without a second thought, he smashed the other body on top of him  in the jaw sending them flying back, but not completely off the cot

 

 

 

Rick sat upright and attempted to get off the bed, he'd just simply take his chances with his injuries....he had to get  out of this forsaken camp

 

 

 

He stood up, his head spinning, and ran straight into a tall body, stopping him like a fucking brick wall, almost sending him back on his ass

 

 

 

he looked up  wide eyed, blinking fast trying to focus

 

 

 

He was suddenly lifted off the ground, his feet hanging in mid air and thrown back on the cot

 

 

 

Rick sat up, his whole body in agony

 

 

 

he was pushed down again, as he screamed and yelled, kicking out at anyone he could connect with

 

 

 

the noises in the tent disappeared suddenly and a strange ringing noise filled Rick's ears

 

 

 

 

he thrashed around, throwing his head  back and forth as he felt hands all over him, holding him down

 

 

 

the ringing noise was so loud and he screwed his eyes shut tightly, as his ears felt like they might erupt

 

 

 

suddenly two rough hands were on either side of his face, stilling his thrashing head softly

 

 

 

he opened his eyes and looked up seeing Negan's face, inches away from his, clear as day

 

 

 

Negan's mouth was moving but the ringing noise was all Rick could hear

 

 

 

He saw people moving around him and his shoulder was throbbing again, being poked at

 

 

 

he moved his head to look at it

 

 

 

 Negan pulled his head back to face him and   all the noise and chaos of what was going on in the tent suddenly rang in Rick's ears, the ringing noise disappearing 

 

 

 

 

"Rick... it's ok baby, I've got you...., we want to help you...we are just here to help you..... I need you to  hold still  " Negan's voice rung in Rick's ears

 

 

 

His eyes darted to the older man, filled with fear

 

 

"Jesus Rick I know it hurts like a motherfucker honey, but you need to let us help you ok "he looked at Rick with such honesty and concern rick seemed to relax

 

 

 

something felt like it was digging into Rick's shoulder, into the open wound, and he screamed, throwing his head to  the side to look at it 

 

 

 

"fuckkkk  " he yelled  in agony

 

 

 

a look of hurt swept across Negan's face and he pulled Rick's face to look at him again

 

 

 

"I know..I know it does honey..you're doing so god.. you're a tough son of a bitch, have I ever told you that grimes..huh" he smiled

 

 

 

Rick's face twisted in agony

 

 

"Please...make it stop..please I'm sorry for not listening to you Negan....ill do anything..just make it stop  " Rick felt tears rolling down his  face, seeping into his open stitches

 

 

 

Negan's face stilled and his eyes seemed to well up with tears but it could have been Rick's imagination

 

 

 

Another sharp jolt in his shoulder sent Rick's head tossing back and forth again

 

 

 

Negan  lent over Rick, crowding him,  his face next to Rick's ear as he held his face in his hands, his entire body was holding rick down on the cot

 

 

 

Rick  smelt that familiar scent of cigarettes and something that was simply Negan and he closed his eyes feeling instantly safe

 

 

 

The world seemed to disappear and it was just him and Negan, like old times.... when they would meet up

 

 

 

"you're doing so good rick..I'm so sorry I left you..i should have known Simon would start some shit" he whispered in Rick's ear

 

 

 

"he's gonna fucking  pay for what he's done to you..I thought you were fucking dead when I showed up..you can't imagine what seeing you like that did to me ?? " he said, voice cracking up

 

 

 

"tell me " Rick whispered

 

 

 

Negan sat up slightly and looked into Rick's teary eyes

 

 

 

"tell me " he whispered again

 

 

 

Negan looked over to Carol, who was too busy with what she was doing

 

 

 

something sharp ripped in his shoulder and Rick sat up, knocking Negan off him slightly

 

 

 

"hold him down Negan for god's sake..I'm almost done " she gritted her teeth, blood smeared on her face

 

 

 

Negan pushed him down and leaned  against his ear again

 

 

 

"I thought I lost you again, you stupid son of a bitch..do you know how much you broke my fucking heart when you fucking cuffed me to that godforsaken desk ??  " he said

 

 

 

"I'm sorry '' rick yelled in pain

 

 

 

...acknowledging that he had never actually apologised for leaving his lover handcuffed to his desk in the jail

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry...i wasn't thinking about anyone else but myself" he screamed in agony

 

 

 

" Please ill do anything..jus make her stop " he yelled

 

 

 

Struggling under the weights holding him down

 

 

 

"got it " Carol yelled, joyfully

 

 

 

his shoulder felt numb and his head spun

 

 

 

He closed his eyes as the noise of his surroundings slowly faded away

 

 

 

Notes:

Poor old rick !!! im really giving it to him in this fic

Chapter 21

Notes:

I had so much fun writing this chapter..got my motivation back !!! YAY

 

...a few chapters up tonight. hope you all enjoy

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Rick  opened his eyes

 

 

The tent was dim

 

 

 

 light from the sun rising  in the east made shadows on the thin fabric 

 

 

 

He hated this godforsaken tent

 

 

 

yet  Here he was waking up from another god awful situation in it

 

 

 

The last episode was his fault, all on his head..he had left the tent when he was asked not to ....

 

 

 

He very nearly  killed....He shouldn't have left the tent

 

 

 

He knew wandering around a savior camp would only lead to fucking trouble

 

 

 

 

but he wasn't about to admit that shit aloud to another living soul...not just yet

 

 

 

 

He still had his pride and that was a big fucking deal to Rick Grimes.

 

 

 

 

It must of be early,Rick couldn't hear anything except his own breathing

 

 

 

everyone must still be asleep

 

 

 

his body felt uncomfortable and tight

 

 

 

there was a distinct throbbing in his shoulder and he turned his head to glance at it

 

 

 

it was now arrow free and bandaged in white cotton fabric, tightly wrapped around his shoulder  and   his  upper chest 

 

 

 

The bandage felt constricting

 

 

 

his stomach  was  covered in black and blue bruises and open cuts

 

 

 

He was still wearing his blood stained pants and had his boots on, lying on top of the sheets

 

 

 

 

he brought his right hand up to his face, but the  bandages were wrapped so tight it felt like he had a plaster cast on

 

 

 

  he brought his left hand up instead

 

 

 

he ran his finger down  the  corse, wirey end of  every stitch, counting them.....7 in total

 

 

 

He was fucking lucky he even still had a face to knit back together

 

 

 

He sighed loudly looking up to the roof

 

 

 

 

His head was thudding like two large planks of wood were smashing together against  his temples

 

 

 

He desperately needed some opium

 

 

  the faint taste of blood  in his mouth made him lick his dry lips and he looked to the  side, there was a mug sitting on top of the crate

 

 

 

 

he sat up  as a wave of  pain raced up his  torso, radiating across his chest, up through his shoulder, up to his neck, across to  his face, and finally penetrating into his brain

 

 

 

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose  and screwed his eyes shut tightly, waiting  for the  throbbing to recede in his skull

 

 

 

 

he swung his legs over the side of the cot and wiped his sweaty palms along his blood stained pants

 

 

 

he glanced over to the corner of the tent and there sat his bag

 

 

 

A strange feeling of deja vu swept over him..wasn't this the exact same thing that happened the first time he woke up in this tent ??

 

 

 

 he ran a hand through his wild curls and down his stubble

 

 

 

he felt like absolute shit !!!

 

 

 

he  heard some  voices outside the tent,saviors waking up to start their day most likely

 

 

 

..he hoped none of them would come in 

 

 

 

he stood up and almost tumbled over, his balance was complete off

 

 

 

he tilted his head towards the roof of the tent and closed his eyes, feeling his body swaying

 

 

 

It took a few minutes for the blood to stop rushing to his head and he walked over to his bag

 

 

 

he knelt down,as his shoulder pulled tightly

 

 

 


he took the bag back to the cot and he began rummaging through it, looking for his opium

 

 

 

all he could smell was blood and it was making him nauseous

 

 

 

 

his eyes landed on his opium which was right on top of his belongings in his bag

 

 

 

 

a strange twisting sensation  filled his stomach

 

 

 

 

he looked towards  the opening of the tent and back at his bag, looking down at his pills

 

 

 

 

he felt like he shouldn't take them..something in the back of his mind was telling him he didnt need them

 

 

 

but the thumping in his brain told him otherwise

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows and pushed the feeling down into the pit of his stomach and popped the lid off, letting it fall onto the cot

 

 

 

He only just noticed the large amount of dried blood covering the once white sheets he had been lying on and he stared at it, not knowing how someone could loose that much blood and still be alive

 

 

Maybe he was just a lucky son of a bitch ??

 

 

 

Maybe he had used up his 9 lives too ?? his body had endured so much over the last few days 

 

 

 

He shook his head from his daze and  spilled 5  opium pills into his hand  and turned around, grabbing the mug of water 

 

 

 

suddenly the tent flaps flew inwards and there stood Negan

 

 

 

dressed in his all black attire, long coat touching the ground that seemed to sway to one side,even though there was no breeze in the air,a red bandana around his neck, black hair neatly gelled back,slick and perfect. Hazel eyes filled with  mystery and charm

 

 

 

He had an aura that always surrounded  him that oozed with authority and dominace

 

 

 

 Rick didn't want to admit to himself that the man  still made his heart race  

 

 

 

He didn't miss the way Negan's eyes trailed  slowly down  his   semi naked body 

 

 

 

Rick  glanced back to the pills and mug in his hands, throwing the opium into his mouth swallowing them down with the  cool water

 

 

 

 

" Christ fuck...... With those fucking pills again ?? " Negan spat

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to him, angrily

 

 

 

'' I've just  been fucking impailed with a  crossbow, had my face ripped open for the hundredth time and beaten black and blue..excuse me for having a slight fucking migraine '' he snapped

 

 

 

  "and ..whose fault is that " Negan mumbled

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly tilting his head to the tent roof.....he didn't feel like an argument right now

 

 

 

 

" Fuck..not now Negan ..ok  " he closed his eyes feeling his entire body throbbing

 

 

 

 

  "for fuck's sake Grimes " Negan  stepped into the tent

 

 

 

'' what the fuck were you thinking ??? ''

 

 

 

 "I wanted .... " Rick began, glancing at Negan, one hand on his hip 

 

 

 

'' for once in your fucking life you couldn't just do as you were fucking asked .... could you ?? ...just stay in this fucking tent that's all I asked " he yelled, pointing his finger to the ground

 

 

 

"I told you to stay in here for a reason.. "

 

 

 

"I was looking for my weapons..I thought it would be better if I found them and left...save any animosity amongst your men..thought I was doing you a favor..getting rid of the one thing I knew would turn this camp upside down....ME " Rick yelled..trying to justify his actions

 

 

 

'' well that worked out well didnt it grimes huh ?? ....look at yourself for fuck sake " Negan yelled, motioning up and down to Rick's body

 

 

 

 

Rick turned back to  his bag, pulling out a clean shirt

 

 

 

 

" you shouldn't be up on your feet just yet anyway...Carol needs you to rest  " Negan's voice sounded slightly  calmer and concerned

 

 

 

 

"yeah well...you know me...I'm not the type who can just lay around all day " Rick looked at the shirt, perplexed, there was no way he'd get this over his shoulder himself

 

 

 

" You can't keep doing this to yourself Rick.. you're not as tough as you fucking think..you're not going to simply bounce   back from " he motioned to rick's body up and down

 

 

 

"one of these times ..you're not gonna wake up " Negan sounded concerned

 

 

 

 

 

" So ...I'm still breathing,  that piece of shit didn't get a chance to come in here and put a bullet between my eyes last night.....what did you do with him ?? " Rick smirked to himself, wondering what Negan did to that son of a bitch  simon

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

His face was unreadable and his eyes cold

 

 

 

"what ? " rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

" I sent him and the boys out on a wild goose chase..they should be gone  no more than 8 days..give you a chance to heal " Negan looked rick up and down, stepping closer

 

 

 

 

"  A wild goose chase  ?? " Rick yelled in disbelief

 

 

 

 

" and how long will it take for them to figure out you just only got rid of them so they wouldn't be in the same fucking camp as me? " Rick yelled, slightly concerned for his welfare

 

 

 

" Simon ain't that smart " Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

"I prefer to keep the company of men who.... let's say .....have more Braun than brains..less heavy work for me at the end of the day " he grinned, his white teeth flashing

 

 

 

 

" so I just  wait here for him to come back and finish the job ...is that the plan ?? " rick scoffed, throwing the shirt back on the cot

 

 

 

"Keep ya fucking knickers on Grimes...we will have you healed up and ready to go back to the beautiful Black River, with those fucking uptight assholes within 5 days,I reckon " he glanced at Rick,as his jaw moved"

 

 

 

"...besides they would have done  any fucking thing I ask..after last night, they are ALL fucking lucky I was lenient and didnt slit all their god damn  fucking throats into the fucking dirt" Negan's face twisted and he averted his eyes from Rick

 

 

 

"where are my weapons"  Rick mumbled, ignoring the remark

 

 

 

negan was silent

 

 

 

Rick looked over at him and he was looking rick up and down again, his eyes half lidded

 

 

 

 

a hot flush rose up Rick's neck

 

 

 

Negan had seen Rick half naked and fully naked many times, but Rick had butterflies in his stomach

 

 

 

 

"you've lost  a shit load  of weight since I last set eyes on you  " he said,  furrowing his brows

 

 

 

Rick knew he was changing the subject, but played along, for now, he needed to keep the peace

 

 

 

Negan had done so much for him since he arrived

 

 

 

" yeh well not much to eat when you're  roughing it " he shrugged

 

 

 

"heard you went  down to Atlanta "

 

 

 

"did you "  Rick raised an eyebrow to himself, grabbing a clean pair of pants in his hand

 

 

 

 

'' did you find what you were looking for down there '' Negan voice sounded hurt

 

 

 

Rick stilled momentarily

 

 

 

"well I didnt find Shane ,if that's what you mean no...2 fucking years wasted when the fuck was right here on my doorstep " rick spat throwing the pants down in anger

 

 

 

"he's what got you into this situation Grimes , because you wouldn't fucking let him go" Negan raised his voice

 

 

 

"Not now Negan " rick pinched the bridge of his nose

 

 

 

"yes... fucking Now " He yelled

 

 

 

Rick looked at him, slightly taken aback

 

 

 

 

"you think you can keep chasing him..look what he did to you" he yelled

 

 

 

"I know " Rick sighed

 

 

"no you don't... you don't fucking care what happens to you..you don't care if the girls lose you..you are all they fucking have now "

 

 

 

"they have nothing to do with this" Rick spat

 

 

 

"you lost Lori and carl..that should have been the end of it..you mourn and move on like any other human being....., you could have just left it there, but no..you chased him, you pushed everyone who ever cared about you aside like they were nothing..now hersehel is dead because you didnt let it go " He roared coming closer

 

 

 

"don't you fucking say that" Rick yelled spinning around to face the taller man, anger rising in his gut

 

 

 

"it's fucking true and you need to hear it, cause no one else has the fucking balls  to tell you how it is, they are all afraid you're gonna fucking flip out Rick..but I know you better than that and I'm not gonna sugar coast shit for you...ever" he stepped closer

 

 

 

"you got Hersehl killed " he yelled in Rick's face,pointing his finger in his chest

 

 

 

"don't you fucking say that to me " rick yelled, feeling warm tears welling up in his eyes

 

 

 

"whos fault was it then ?? ..don't fucking put this all on shane Rick..don't you fucking dare !!!  admit to me and  yourself that you  have a slight hand in  him pulling that trigger "

 

 

 

rick blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears,he knew Negan was right..but couldn't admit he was wrong

 

 

" I don't need to admit nothing to myself ..least of all you " he spat and pushed Negan back in his chest angrily, teeth bared

 

 

 

"you owe me that much " Negan gritted his teeth

 

 

 

 

"I owe you " Rick scoffed

 

 

 

" I owe you shit " He lied

 

 

 

Negan looked like he'd been slapped in  the face and then his eyes grew black and furious, his face twisting

 

 

 

"you owe me your fucking life Grimes " He snarled the last word

 

 

 

"I owe Carol my life..what the fuck did you do ??  " he spat, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

he knew in the back of his head he was only poking the bear making things worse

 

 

Negan's mouth hung open slightly at the comment

 

 

" What did I do ???  " he yelled

 

 

 

"What did I fucking do you fucking ungrateful motherfucker  " he shoved Rick in the chest angrily

 

 

Rick flinched in pain

 

 

" I risked every fucking thing for you ..you little fucking prick..." he stepped closer as Rick stepped backwards toward the cot

 

 

 

He didnt like the look in Negan's eyes

 

 

 

cold and distant

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Maybe Rick should of kept his big mouth shut and been grateful

Chapter 22

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"I was fucking screwing a deputy, a fucking lawmen .. the same lawman who had a hand in hanging some of my own men..... I kept you, my dirty little secret from each and every one of my people. some would say that  was a huge fucking betrayal of their trust" he gritted his teeth trying to keep his voice down from listening ears outside

 

 

 

'' lying.... not something a leader does to his own people, the people he has sworn to protect...I never fucking complained when you  fucking pushed me aside,didnt let me in, past that fucking high wall of fucking self destructive  righteousness you kept up "

 

 

 

" when you fucking left me in the fucking sheriff's office, did I come looking for you to dish out some very well deserved fucking revenge ??  " his face twisted as he stepped closer to Rick

 

 

 

"did I tell my men the REAL  reason I had  to fucking pick my way out of handcuffs...that my fucking lover fucking tricked me, betrayed me, fucking ripped my fucking heart out leaving me there and not once ever  fucking looking back '' he shoved Rick in the chest hard

 

 

 

Rick flinched as the action sent waves of pain through his body

 

 

 

"for what ???  to go after a fucking man..a fucking man.... that's all he is,a fucking simple human being...a fucking shitty one at that..he's not a fucking god Rick, but you fucking worship him  like one, obsessed by him..he's bewitched you..you fucking have him up on some  fucking sick pedestal ''

 

 

 

'' I Never once considered telling my men about you and what happened... they would have surely tracked you down that very same day and slaughtered your Rick..no matter what my orders on that subject were. Fucking slaughtered you and then gone and visited the women......and what do you think would have done when they found the girls huh   ?? ''

 

 

 Rick shook his head, not wanting to imagine  the girls  in danger

 

 

 

 

'' I risked my ass when I saved you from Shane and his men..I risked my men's lives, something I don't fucking take lightly .. I lied to them to get you back here safely,a fucking lawman..a deputy in our camp. Wasting our fucking resources on you, our time, effort, sowing you back together and what do you do..go out there and start a fucking fight... getting yourself in more trouble.....even more fucked up....defying my fucking authority...my guest..the person I fucking let into our camp..staring a fight with one of my best men "

 

 

 

 

" and you tell me I DID NOTHING FOR YOU '' Negan roared in Rick's face, spit flying

 

 

 

 

" I risked EVERYTHING I cherished for you, you piece of shit, and for what ?? what the fuck did I ever get in return ??  nothing  but a big old fuck you " He roared

 

 

 

 

 

 " I'm fucking sorry ok " He yelled above Negan

 

 

 

 

'' I.... I know I have an obsession with  Shane  " Rick yelled and suddenly paused, not believing the words finally came out of his own mouth

 

 

 

 

He glanced at Negan who was equally shocked

 

 

 

 

''  And  I take that obsession too far, I know that... I hurt people along the way just to get to him..I know that  ''

 

 

 

 

 

the tent was eerily quiet as both men were silent

 

 

 

 

"  you fucking saved my life..he would have killed me that night if you and the others hadn't shown up "

 

 

 

 

"I appreciate everything you did for me,..you know I didnt mean a fucking word I said  " he flicked his eyes up to Negan who was standing there, not moving

 

 

 

" I owe my fucking life to you and Carol..and the others "

 

 

 

"you all could have just kept on riding past ..it would have been my own damn stupid fault if he had finished the job that night " Rick looked down at his boots, feeling ashamed

 

 

 

" My obsession would have got me killed..I was out numbered,i know that "

 

 

 

 

"  But this shit " he jerked his head towards his shoulder

 

 

 

 

"..ill admit, I shouldn't have left the tent...but that didnt give Simon the  go ahead  to fuck me up.. my stubborn pride and smart mouth got me wounded ...ill fucking own that .. but don't you fucking defend Simon either Negan '' 

 

 

 

" ..Simon surely would have killed me... "

 

 

 

 

"you know i never would  let that happen " Negan knelt down in front of rick, a tender look on his face

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at him,tears in his eyes

 

 

 

'' i cant ''

 

 

 

''I can't forgive myself for their deaths ''

 

 

 

 

'' That wasn't your fault Rick..why dont you believe that '' Negan furrowed his brows and put his hand on top of  Rick's

 

 

 

 

 

'' the pills they help..they help take that fucking torture away, why does everyone want to take that away from me.. ?? '' Rick sounded like a small child

 

 

 

 

 

'' they aren't helping you rick  '' Negan tilted his head at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' ill admit to everything being my fault with Shane ..that's on me, but I will NOT admit that the opium is destroying me, it's fucking saving me, it keeps me from fucking wanting to end it all ''

 

 

 

Negan's  heart broke 

 

 

 

'' Cause at one point I did want to end it all..the opium, it pulled me back..dont you fucking understand, they fucking saved me .... I don't care what anybody's opinion on that  is..do you understand, I'm so sick of hearing they are bad for me, they are fucking me up ''he yelled

 

 

 

'' I 'm obsessed with killing Shane, but I have to......, I can't keep pretending im ok, like he's not in my fucking   brain every fucking second of every day, every  night, in my fucking nightmares, I can't sleep without seeing his fucking face in front of me ...do you know what that's like ?? to not be able to think about anyone or anything but the same fucking person,   every fucking minute of every fucking day, so much so  that it becomes like an illness  '' Rick felt tears falling down his face

 

 

 

 

 

'' scratching in your fucking brain like a fucking tick burrowing under your skin '' he sobbed

 

 

 

'' i cant stop ''

 

 

 

'' I can't....don't make me.... ''

 

 

 

 Negan shook his head, his heart  was breaking in half for rick

 

 

 

'' He has taken so much, so much  more than my family ..now he's disfigured me, turned me into a freak ''

 

 

 

'' Rick baby, you're not  '' he soothed

 

 

 

 

'' you can't fix me, cause im not broken Negan....im me..this fucked up shit  " he motioned to himself

 

 

 

 

 

" is me .... I don't want to be fixed,dont you fucking understand " He yelled, sobbing into his hands

 

 

 

 

" Hey " Negan said quietly

 

 

 

 

Suddenly he felt Negan pull his hands away, looking up at him with such tenderness in his eyes

 

 

 

 

"you are fucking beautiful Rick fucking Grimes " he smiled

 

 

 

"I dont fucking care what that fuck did to your face, you will always be god damn perfect to me" he furrowed his brows, wiping a tear from Rick's cheek

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry Negan ..for everything...I'm so sorry  " rick sniffed

 

 

 

 

Negan stood up and bent down to Rick's level, pressing his lips against Rick's

 

 

 

 

Rick was frozen to the spot, shocked, taken aback by the sudden sweet gesture from the   man who  he was just arguing with moments before

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Rick admitted some home truths ..about time he owned it !!!

oohhhh a kiss👄

Chapter 23

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Rick's stomach filled with butterflies and he melted into Negan's kiss

 

 

 

 

He had never forgotten about the way  the older man  could make him crumble when he kissed him

 

 

 

 

he felt so safe with Negan, he always did

 

 

 

 

Rick put his hand on the back of Negan's head, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss

 

 

 

 

Negan  suddenly pulled back, lips red  and face flushed

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm...I'm.... I shouldn't have done that "he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up straight

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked up at him confused

 

 

 

 

 he adjusted his coat and turned to leave

 

 

 

 

"wait..." Rick grabbed Negan's wrist

 

 

 

 

Negan didnt turn to him, looking to the  tent opening instead

 

 

 

 

" where are you going ?? '' rick said softly

 

 

 

 

" I swore ... I swore to myself I wouldn't get fucked over by you again Grimes" He sighed looking to the ground

 

 

 

 

 

Rick let go of his wrist, quickly, like it was fire..is that what Negan thought about him..he was cold hearted ???

 

 

 

 

 

" But I ..."  Rick  began

 

 

 

 

" I'm sorry Negan..I didnt mean to hurt you " Rick pushed himself up off the bed, gritting his teeth at the pain

 

 

 

 

Negan stood frozen to the spot, just staring out to the camp

 

 

 

 

 

Rick came up behind him and put his good arm around negan's waist, putting his head on his back, feeling the  soft woolen texture of his long  coat on his cheek

 

 

 

 

soft yet prickly 

 

 

 

 

 

"I didn't think.. I didn't know I hurt you so much " rick whispered

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

 

Rick could feel him breathing and closed his eyes, he never wanted this feeling to leave, this safe warm feeling, he didnt realise he missed so much

 

 

 

 

"I need you ......I always did...i just lost track f that when i went after shane " Rick whispered

 

 

 

 

Negan's breath hitched in his throat

 

 

 

 

He touched  Rick's arm

 

 

 

 

 Rick smiled to himself, the man's strong  callous fingers touching him was everything he needed right now

 

 

 

 

 

Negan  took Rick's arm away from  his waist  and stepped towards the  tent opening

 

 

 

 

" stay with me Negan..please..I'm sorry " Rick pleaded

 

 

 

 

 

Negan hung his head to the ground, sighing loudly

 

 

 

 

"you think you can just say sorry and .... and ill just come running back to you ... " he sounded angry

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

"is this over those fucking handcuffs again ??...I told you I wasn't thinking...I was fucking stupid ok  "

 

 

 

 

Negan turned around, his face angry

 

 

 

 

"  Stupid...stupid " He yelled

 

 

 

 

" and what if I didnt know how to pick the lock huh ?? '' Negan took a step toward Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 

" cause I sure as shit  didn't see you coming back ? '' he spat

 

 

 

 

 

"Hershel would of had some fucking tough questions for me dont you think ?? ''

 

 

 

 

 

"But I still never would have thrown the great Deputy Rick Grimes into  the fucking deep end with his father in law..his fucking boss...because  that's just the great  fucking kinda guy I am Rick.. " he said sarcastically

 

 

 

 

" but I thought " he began

 

 

 

 

Negan face twisted

 

 

 

 

 

"you thought...you thought what ?? '' he yelled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked stupidly, what the fuck was happening ??

 

 

 

 

 

" Why are you being like this...I thought " rick motioned at the cot and the kiss that had just happened on it

 

 

 

 

 

" the saviors don't... " he glanced at Rick

 

 

 

 

 "  I  shouldn't be associating with a man of the law  " He chose his words carefully

 

 

 

 

rick furrowed his brows, feeling angry

 

 

 

 

" You didnt mind associating with me a few years ago though did you huh  '' he spat

 

 

 

 

Negan eyes flashed up to him

 

 

 

 

"didnt mind burying your cock in my ass weekly did you " rick  spat

 

 

 

 

 

"remember that fucking smart mouth you mentioned that  keeps  getting  you into shit....." he spat, showing his teeth

 

 

 

 

Rick jaw twitched

 

 

 

 

"  I suggest you keep it fucking shut for the remainder of your stay with us " he spat

 

 

 

 

"you are welcome to stay here until you are well enough to travel by horse..you will have no more trouble from anyone here...you have my word on that...." Negan said coldly

 

 

 

 

 

 

" Negan I care about you " Rick pleaded

 

 

 

Negan scoffed

 

 

 

 

"you don't care about anything  but getting to Shane... nothing has  changed...you still want to go after him, no matter the risks''

 

 

 

 

 

he shook his head

 

 

 

 

"I care about you Rick, probably  always will, but as far as us  going back to what we were, what we had " he looked at Rick

 

 

 

 

"I can't " he looked at Rick with such hurt in his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

"please Negan  I dont want to be alone anymore " Rick pleaded

 

 

 

 

Negan closed his eyes

 

 

 

 

"there was a time I would have died to hear those words slip out of that  beautiful mouth .. but it never came...you never needed me Grimes..you don't need anyone " he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

" ill inform Carol that her patient is up...get her to get some food into you...we have one hell of a fucking fine chef here " he looked rick up and down one more time

 

 

 

 

rick felt so embarrassed that he threw himself at Negan, pissed off too

 

 

 

 

"maybe show her some respect yeh, she saved your fucking life..... more than once might  I add " he gave rick a distasteful look

 

 

 

 

He turned to leave and stopped

 

 

 

 

"and if I hear you're playing games and not eating.. talking about running off, or being a general fucking pain in everyone's asses....I will make it my personal mission to fucking teach you some fucking manners.." he paused

 

 

 

Rick felt his hand curling into  a fist..he was not a fucking child

 

 

 

"do I make myself clear ?? " Negan said, authority dripping off his tongue

 

 

 

 

rick was silent and grated his teeth together in his mouth

 

 

 

 

"Do you fucking understand Rick " Negan yelled, turning his head slightly

 

 

 

 

"yes " rick spat

 

 

 

 

"what ? ''

 

 

 

 

"YES " rick yelled, feeling humiliated

 

 

 

 

negan turned his head back around and lifted one side of the tent flap with his hand

 

 

 

 

"maybe you could try and make conversation with some of us scum outlaws  here ...you might be surprised " he scoffed and disappeared out into the camp

 

 

 

 

Rick let out a breath he did'nt realise he was holding in

 

 

 

 

he would never let on, but he loved when Negan turned all strong and controlling with him

 

 

 

 

he looked down at his dick when it twitched in his pants

 

 

 

"not now " he told himself and sighed loudly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Was Negan right for rejecting Rick ?? he was protecting himself i think

Chapter Text

Rick was still in a stupor when Carol entered the tent with several fresh bandages and medical equipment in her arms

 

 

 

He sat down on the cot without saying a word, he was confused about what had just happened

 

 

 

 

Negan had rejected him..did he ?? or was he just protecting himself 

 

 

 

 

Rick did handcuff him to the sheriff's desk...

 

 

 

 

anyone else  would have hunted him down and killed him for that blatant betrayal

 

 

 

but he didnt, he saved his ass, letting him stay in his camp

 

 

 

Carol was talking to him, while she undid the bandages around his chest but rick's mind was elsewhere

 

 

 

he stared over her shoulder at the side of the tent, his brain buzzing

 

 

 

Had he hurt Negan that much..he always thought of Negan as a stoic man, nothing in this world really mattered to him, he just let everything  slip off his shoulders

 

 

 

Carol snapped her fingers in Rick's face and he blinked several times, furrowing his brows at her

 

 

 

"did you hear me ? " he looked at him concerned

 

 

 

"sorry ..what ?? " he question ,dumbly

 

 

 

"are you ok...you haven't got a fever have you ?? " she put the back of her hand on his forehead

 

 

 

he pushed it away

 

 

 

"I'm fine " he spat

 

 

 

"if you develop a fever it will be very dangerous for you Rick...'' she looked at his face sternly

 

 

 

he looked at her stupidly..he must have looked like a real idiot..the only thing on his mind was Negan

 

 

 

"I'm fine..no fever..I promise " he put his hands up in mock defense

 

 

 

she raised an eyebrow at him and looked back at his shoulder

 

 

 

" This is healing well "

 

 

 

"and my face " Rick asked

 

 

 

she nodded 

 

 

 

"I'm very happy with them both  " she sat back in the chair, looking him over, her arms crossed across her chest

 

 

 

"but that doesn't mean you can go running around the camp..you need to rest, do you hear me  ?? "

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly

 

 

 

"you're a very lucky man rick...you  lost a lot of blood in a small amount of time..the injuries on your face were deep and severe...id say you have someone up there looking down on you " she pointed to the sky smiling

 

 

 

Rick's face dropped as he thought about Lori and carl

 

 

 

 

" what's wrong ??  " carol asked sitting up straight, looking worried, her hand on his knee

 

 

 

rick looked at his boots

 

 

 

 

obviously, Negan didnt tell anyone about the brutal details of his family's murder

 

 

 

" nothing " he faked a smile

 

 

 

Carol didnt look too convinced and took her hand away from his knee

 

 

 

"now " she clapped her hands together, her face lighting up

 

 

 

" I think we need to get you out of  here and get some fresh air  into your lungs ..what do you say ?? '' she smiled

 

 

 

rick's stomach flipped...outside, with the saviors, everyone looking at him, whispering

 

 

 

she looked at his face and frowned

 

 

 

" Please don't judge us on your ..." she paused

 

 

 

"on your recent interactions with Simon....if I can be blunt ..he's an asshole " she whispered

 

 

 

 

a loud bark of laughter came out of Rick's mouth

 

 

 

 she looked at him surprised

 

 

 

"I'm glad we agree on that one " he smiled

 

 

 

she tilted her head at him

 

 

 

"you should smile more rick..it suits you " she smiled warmly

 

 

 

Rick adverted his eyes to his boots, his smile fading

 

 

 

the tent was quiet for a few moments

 

 

 

"now do you want a hand getting some clean clothes on " carol spoke

 

 

 

 

"I'm sure you would like to change out of those bloody pants at least...a clean shirt " she cocked her head to his bag beside him on the cot

 

 

 

Rick did indeed want to change, but he didnt want to be babied either

 

 

 

Carol grabbed a clean shirt and held it up in front of her face

 

 

 

"I can make your arm a sling so we can get this on first " she stood up

 

 

 

 rick flinched

 

 

 

she furrowed her brows

 

 

 

"I'm not a fucking invalid, I can do it myself " he spat

 

 

 

 

she took a step back, a hurt look on her face

 

 

 

 

"well ok then " she threw the shirt on  the cot and Rick felt like an ungrateful  prick

 

 

 

 

"if that's everything then I will see you outside..ill introduce you to joey our cook. you look like you could use a god feed " she looked Rick up and down and  turned to leave

 

 

 

'' I'm sorry " rick barely whispered

 

 

 

she stopped and turned around

 

 

 

"I'm not used to being looked after..I'm not used to being...a fucking cripple " he gritted his teeth at his shoulder

 

 

 

she stepped back over to him and sat on the stool

 

 

 

ducking her head to cath rick's eyes

 

 

 

"you're no cripple..and as long as you're are in my care..you will have no choice but to  accept my help " she grinned

 

 

 

rick smirked at her

 

 

 

" I wouldn't take no for an answer anyway.....now come on deputy, let's get you outta these grubby clothes yeh " she smiled at him

 

 

 

After rick got dressed in a  clean pair of pants and a nice blue shirt ( that Carol picked out  ) he stood in front of the small shaving mirror and put some water through his wild curls, trying to tame them back

 

 

 

Carol came up behind him and adjusted his collar at the back, glancing at him in the mirror

 

 

 

"you scrub alright deputy " she smiled at him

 

 

 

he smiled at her

 

 

 

" I can see why Negan likes  you " she added and stepped back, looking Rick up and down

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widened and he spun around to her

 

 

 

"What ? '' his voice cracked,stomach turning upside down

 

 

 

she simply smiled, her arms crossed across her chest

 

 

 

" I can tell he likes you "

 

 

 

"what..how ??  " rick began to panic

 

 

 

" call it women's intuition..he'd never admit it, but I see the way he looks at you "

 

 

 

 

"you can't tell the other " rick said panicked

 

 

 

 

" I won't Rick..I never would " she shook her head

 

 

 

 

" they would banish him..he would be nothing without his gang..this camp, his people, you are his family " rick's heart was racing

 

 

 

"calm down Rick..you'd be surprised at how much loyalty they have towards  Negan..no matter who he likes " she smiled weakly

 

 

 

Rick's mouth was open slightly

 

 

 

"no one knows Rick, it's ok......now .... hows is that sling feeling ?? comfortable enough  ?? " she looked down to his arm in a sling over his shirt

 

 

 

 

rick looked down at it and back at her dumbly

 

 

 

" not too tight ?? "

 

 

 

he shook his head dumbly

 

 

 

 

"good..ok then, let's go  show you off to Negan then shall we  " she smiled, motioning for the opening of the tent

 

 

 

ricks nearly chocked on his own Saliva

 

 

 

carol laughed, throwing her head back

 

 

 

 

'' im kidding Rick..Jesus " she laughed out loud

 

 

 

 

"negan said you were easy to rile up..but I didnt believe him " she laughed

 

 

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched...imaging Negan talking about him behind his back, laughing with all the saviors

 

 

 

" talk about me does he ? '' rick snapped

 

 

 

carol stopped laughing and her face became serious

 

 

 

 

"no Rick ...he mentioned it in light heartedness, not malice " she tilted her head at him

 

 

 

 

"What happened between you two ?? "

 

 

 

Rick looked at her, silent

 

 

 

" I fucked up " he shrugged looking down at his boots

 

 

 

Carol was silent

 

 

 

"come on, let's get you something to eat, you must be starving " she didnt wait for a reply and lifted the tent flap up and held it for Rick

 

 

 

Rick was  very hungry

 

 

 

he turned to glance in the mirror quickly, trying to put a wild curl back in its place

 

 

 

 

"come on.... you look hot " carol said,

 

 

 

Rick turned to her

 

 

 

she was smirking

 

 

 

"you're gonna be so fun to mess with Rick  " she laughed loudly

 

 

 

 

Rick inhaled a large breath and walked towards  the cot, picking up his hat and holding it tightly in his hands

 

 

 

 

his hand trailed down to his hip, where his weapons usually were

 

 

his security blanket

 

 

 

and he stilled

 

 

 

 

Carol's  eyes followed Rick's hand  and  she furrowed her brows

 

 

 

"ok ? '' she questioned

 

 

Rick wondered where his weapons were ?? Negan must have them somewhere in camp ?? now was not the time..he had to heal and   play nice with the saviors, so he would get his weapons back

 

 

 

"yeh " he smiled looking at Carol and walked towards the opening of the tent

 

 

 

he ducked his head through the  thin fabric and out into the daylight

 

 

 

the warm sun hit his face and he put his hat on, pulling it down as far as it would possibly go

 

 

 

Leaving a few stary curls hanging beside  his  cold blue eyes

 

 

 

Chapter 25

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 he instantly felt Every  set  of eyes on him and  felt sick to his stomach

 

 

 

he narrowed his eyes underneath his hat as they passed several  saviors, eyeing him with caution and curiosity

 

 

 

Carol looped her arm around his left  and he flinched  at the sudden touch, stopping and looking down at it and back up to her

 

 

 

"smile Rick " she grinned, showing her teeth

 

 

 

Rick blinked dumbly

 

 

 

she began to walk again, practically dragging Rick with her

 

 

 

" smile " she said through gritted teeth

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled and tipped his hat to a group   of the children playing nearby

 

 

 

 

they  all ran off giggling as rick  looked back  at them

 

 

 

"well that was a good start " he mumbled

 

 

 

 carol laughed

 

 

 

 

"come on deputy " she smiled

 

 

 

Rick smelt something in the air that made him salivate in his mouth, he didnt realise how hungry he actually was. they walked towards a large wagon with smoke coming out from behind it. when they rounded the corner  they were met with a large, rotund man, with a beard

 

 

 

He was chewing on  some kind of  cooked meat,bits hanging of his face

 

 

 

he glanced at rick and carol and nearly choked on his food

 

 

 

rick pressed his lips together to stop from laughing

 

 

 

 

"Carol " the  man sputtered, wiping the food from his mouth

 

 

 

 

" Trying the supper before anyone else again Joey " she folded her arms across her chest, giving the meek looking man a stern look

 

 

 

" well the cook does have to try the food before he serves it , doesn't he  ?? " he grinned,rasing an eyebrow at her

 

 

 

he glanced at Rick 

 

 

 

 

" Rick grimes, this is joey ..the best damn cook this side of the Mississippi " she beamed

 

 

 

 

Joey turned a shade of red and looked down to the ground, smiling

 

 

 

" you'll give me a  big head with compliments like that Carol " he smiled at her

 

 

 

his smile faded somewhat when he looked rick over

 

 

 

" So your the one who  broke Simon's nose huh  " his lip curled up

 

 

 

 

Christ, rick thought here we go....

 

 

 

 

"joey " carol began

 

 

 

a smile swept across the cook's face and he held out his hand to Rick

 

 

 

 rick was confused

 

 

 

Joey grabbed Rick's hand that wasn't in the sling and shook it quickly, nearly making Rick tumble over

 

 

 

 

"I've been wanting to smack that prick  in his fucking ugly mug  for years....then you come along and ....BAMM  " he  yelled, startling Rick slightly

 

 

 

"What did it feel like..come on tell me ??? " he grinned

 

 

 

"I bet it felt fucking fantastic " he yelled enthusiastically

 

 

 

Rick  pulled his hand away from the larger man's hand and stepped back, slightly over whelmed

 

 

 

Carol must have sensed it and put her hand on rick's lower back  

 

 

 

 

" Joey  " she smiled

 

 

 

 

Joey looked slightly taken aback and glanced at  Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick remembered what Negan had said to him...give these people a chance...

 

 

 

 

he smiled  and held out his hand once again to joey

 

 

 

"it  felt fucking god damn amazing  " he shook his hand firmly, looking him straight in the eyes, grinning

 

 

 

That was true it was a good feeling to knock that pricks nose out of joint, literally

 

 

 

Joey was unsure for a second then laughed out loudly 

 

 

 

 

" Boys  '' Carol said firmly, making both men stop laughing

 

 

 

 

"  Supper isn't too far away..you won't be disappointed tonight, Daryl caught a large buck this morning " he grinned at them

 

 

 

 

 Carol  nodded and led  Rick away

 

 

 

 

"see.." she said smiling to herself

 

 

 

Rick glanced at her

 

 

 

-yeah one nice savior..out of how many were in this camp ??  around 20 ??? - Rick thought to himself

 

 

 

 

"id like to go  and see boots if that's ok ?   " rick said

 

 

 

Carol stopped and turned to him, confusion  spread across her face

 

 

 

" my horse " rick added

 

 

 

"  oh yes....of course " she smiled and went to walk

 

 

 

Rick  didnt move and carol stopped and  turned around, looking confused

 

 

 

 

" id like to go by myself  " he smiled 

 

 

 

she frowned

 

 

 

 

"I dont .... '' she began, looking around

 

 

 

 

 

"hey, I promise not to break anyone eles's  nose  ok  " rick winked at her

 

 

 

 

she smiled weakly, but didnt look like she was too sure

 

 

 

"I suppose it won't do any harm..They are just down there in the paddock" she pointed in the direction of the horses

 

 

 

Rick glanced in the direction she was pointing in

 

 

 

" do you want me to show you..then I can leave " she added quickly

 

 

 

 

on second thought, Rick suddenly realised  he really shouldn't be wandering around alone, after last night

 

 

 

there were still saviors here who would happily see him dead

 

 

 

he simply nodded

 

 

 

she smiled and led the way

 

 

 

 

They soon came upon a small paddock where several horses were grazing

 

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes trying to find Boots amongst the others

 

 

 

"do you see him ??  " carol asked

 

 

 

"he's over there next to Ragnar" a gruff voice behind them made rick jump

 

 

 

 

they turned and rick recognised the man with shaggy hair, hanging over his dark eyes, merle's brother

 

 

 

he glanced down at the crossbow hanging loosely in the younger man's hand as his shoulder suddenly began throbbing

 

 

 

 

he winced in pain and rubbed  it  with his free hand, closing his eyes

 

 

 

Carol looked at him and back at Daryl

 

 

 

 

Daryl looked at Rick, narrowing his eyes

 

 

 

 

" Rick this is Daryl ...Daryl this ...." she said

 

 

 

 

"I know  who he is " he said in a gruff manner, cutting Carol off

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

 

The man's blue eyes were tender, yet dangerous looking.  narrowed into slits 

 

 

 

"you locked up me brother several times " he huffed

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at Carol, slightly intimidated by the younger man's tone

 

 

 

a small smile swept across his face 

 

 

 

"he's an asshole..he most probably deserved it " he shrugged, smiling 

 

 

 

 

rick sighed a breath of relief

 

 

 

"well I won't argue with you there  " rick smiled

 

 

 

"where is old Merle anyway..I thought he'd be the first one in my fucking face " Rick looked around, only just noticing the irritating  man wasn't present

 

 

 

"he's off with Negan doing some shit " Daryl jerked his finger behind him

 

 

 

 

" Mummy "

 

 

 

a small child's voice made them all  look to the left

 

 

 

 

Rick saw a small girl, probably around 7  years old, with short mousey brown  hair in a pretty dress, that had white flowers on it, running towards them

 

 

 

 

she stopped when she saw rick and looked up at Carol, unsure

 

 

 

Rick glanced at Carol

 

 

 

"it's ok sweetie..this is deputy Rick Grimes, he's a friend of uncle Negan "she spoke softly

 

 

-Uncle Negan _ rick smirked at the sweet nickname

 

 

 

the  girl looked at Rick and walked slowly towards him, looking him up and down

 

 

 

rick felt slightly intimidated by the small girl's  stern expression, she was definitely her mother's daughter 

 

 

 

he smiled down at her and knelt down to her level, wincing in pain as his torso pulled in pain

 

 

 

he  tipped  his hat up slightly, so she could see his kind eyes

 

 

 

"mam ''  he held out his hand

 

 

 

she giggled with her hand in front of her mouth and Rick's heart melted

 

 

 

"I'm Sophia " she said enthusiastically, shaking Rick's hand

 

 

 

her hand looked so small in Rick's and he looked at it fondly, thinking about his unborn daughter..she would be around this age now

 

 

 

Sophia screwed her face up and tilted her head at Rick

 

 

 

"you look sad '' she said truthfully

 

 

 

Rick looked at her and smiled weakly

 

 

 

"i..I had a daughter, she would have been your age now " he smiled

 

 

 

 

"where is she ?  " she asked innocently

 

 

 

 

Rick felt his throat  suddenly  tighten and he hung his head to the ground 

 

 

 

 

" Sophia, ..maybe we can go see if Joeynhas supper  ready ?? ...you can help him dish up  like last time  " Carol suggested, putting a hand on Rick's back

 

 

 

"ok mummy " she said cheerfully

 

 

 

"Daryl will stay here with you, ok rick ??  " she asked

 

 

 

 

Rick simply nodded and looked back up to Sophia

 

 

 

 she was smiling at him, sweetly

 

 

 

"Nice to meet ya Mr Rick " she giggled and looked up to her mother

 

 

 

he smiled

 

 

 

" You too ms Sophia " 

 

 

 

 

she giggled and took her mother's hand and they walked off

 

 

 

Rick watched them leave fondly 

 

 

 

he turned back to Daryl who now had a cigarette in his mouth, arms folded, leaning on the wooden fence, staring out at the horses, a small smile on his face

 

 

 

Rick looked at him and down at his crossbow, now leaning up against the fence

 

 

 

 

Daryl glanced at him, following his gaze

 

 

 

"Simon's a fucking  gutless piece of shit " he mumbled, cigarette in his mouth

 

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

 

 

"he shouldn't have  touched  my fucking crossbow..a man's weapon is sacred ya know ?? " he mumbled

 

 

 

 

Rick  understood exactly what he meant and he ran his hand up his thigh wishing his machete was there against his leg

 

 

 

 

Daryl glanced at him and exhaled some smoke, narrowing his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

"We ain't  all like him  you know " he mumbled

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

"who ?? ;''

 

 

 

"Simon ...we ain't all fucking murderous, psychotic assholes like him " he inhaled his cigarette looking back at the horses

 

 

 

" We know what the law thinks about us..all we do is murder, steal...scum of the earth, dirty, worthless outlaws" he sounded bitter

 

 

 

"it's not all true though..we are just people trying to live, living  out here, same as everyone else, except we dont live in a town....we have families, kids, elderly, we are a family "

he glared at Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick felt something in his chest tighten, he is one of those people who looked down  his nose on camps just like this one, people like Daryl and carol..outcasts

 

 

 

"he shouldn't of come at you either " he added

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him, surprised

 

 

" He had it in for you from the beginning " he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at the man..how could this man be related to Merle Dixon ?? ...loud, drunk, womanizing, dangerous Merle Dixon 

 

 

 

 

Daryl noticed Rick staring and gave him a strange look

 

 

 

"What  ??  " he looked back at the horses, annoyed 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked and averted his eyes

 

 

 

 

"just trying to figure out how you're related to Merle Dixon..its  fucking with my head " he smirked

 

 

 

Daryl smiled

 

 

 

"it's a fucking mystery to me too man " he smirked

 

 

 

 

Rick averted his eyes back to the horse and he spied Boots, his black coat shone in the afternoon sun. His white hooves made him stand out amongst the group of horses

 

 

 

 

Rick's  face lit up instantly

 

 

 

Daryl followed his gaze,  inhaling  his cigarette

 

 

 

 rick beamed, only just realising how much he missed seeing the magnificent animal

 

 

 

 

"he is my son's ...isn't he beautiful ?? " he smiled, not aware he was talking aloud

 

 

 

 

" you have a family..they must be worried about you ??  " Daryl said softly

 

 

 

rick narrowed his eyes at boots and stood up straight

 

 

 

 

"can I go in and see him closer  ?'' rick asked Daryl, but didnt look at him

 

 

 

"he's your horse " Daryl shrugged and stood up straight, letting the cigarette hang on his lip as he opened the gate for Rick

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him and walked slowly past him

 

 

 

"thanks " he said quietly

 

 

 

"no problem " Daryl mumbled back 

 

 

 

rick stopped when he entered the paddock, as several horses looked up from gazing, curious at the new figure in their paddock

 

 

 

Rick looked back at Daryl, unsure 

 

 

 

he was leaning on the fence again, cigarette in his mouth

 

 

 

 

he nodded his head towards the horses as he closed the gate

 

 

 

 

 

 rick turned back around

 

 

 

a few horses were walking over slowly, interested in Rick

 

 

 

"boots '' Rick called out

 

 

 

"boots " he repeated and whistled

 

 

 

Boots suddenly appeared in the middle of the horses, walking slowly at first then  apon recognizing rick, he began to trot over

 

 

 

 

 

rick put his left hand out as Boots put his muzzle into Rick's neck

 

 

 

rick laughed at the strange feeling of the beast's breath on his neck

 

 

 

"hey boy...yeh I missed you too " he ran his hand along his neck, tenderly

 

 

 

"got myself into a bit of trouble...are they looking after you huh ?? " he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick lost track of time

 

 

 

"suppers ready Boys,come on before  Dwight eats it all " carol's voice made Rick turn from boots

 

 

 

he looked up to the sky and only just noticed the sun was going down  behind the hills

 

 

 

a chill in the air made Rick shiver

 

 

 

he  ran a hand down boots neck one last time

 

 

 

"go on boy..ill see you tomorrow " he smiled fondly at the animal and pushed him away gently

 

 

 

he walked over to another horse and began nuzzling it

 

 

 

Rick looked at him sadly, he didnt want to leave now he was here

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick..if I know  Dwight  like i think I do, the  prick won't leave any food   for anyone  " Daryl called out

 

 

 

 

Rick turned to him and began walking towards the open gate  he held for him

 

 

 

Daryl must have sensed his  hesitation to leave

 

 

 

"he'll be fine, Ragnar has taken a liking to him  " he jerked his head towards the horses

 

 

 

Rick turned to see boots frolicking with the horse he was nuzzling before

 

 

 

He smiled

 

 

 

" He's Negan's" Daryl commented

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

"no it isn't " he spoke without thinking....negan had a tan horse, this one was dark brown and its name was nelson, not Ragnar

 

 

 

 

Daryl furrowed his brows at him and rick wanted the ground to swallow him up

 

 

 

" i..i mean..I've seen him with a different horse '' he stammered

 

 

 

" have ya " Daryl eyed him

 

 

 

an awkward silence fell between them for a moment, which felt like hours to rick

 

 

 

 he kicked the dirt with his boots, feeling Daryl's eyes boring holes into him

 

 

 

 

" he did have another horse ...Nelson..he died a year back, this is his new one...but he's taking my horse out this morning  with Merle..." he looked up to the camp, narrowing his eyes

 

 

 

" They should have been back by now "  a concerned look spread across his face

 

 

 

"merle probably got drunk...  dragging his feet " he huffed

 

 

 

"BOYS " carol's loud voice echoed through the camp

 

 

 

Daryl waved a hand to her and shut the gate behind Rick

 

 

 

 

"you coming man ? '' he asked rick who was watching the two horses run around together

 

 

 

 

he turned to Daryl and nodded

 

 

 

the thought of his and Negan's  horses liking each other made him smirk  to himself

 

 

 

 

the smell of something wonderful cooking made Rick's stomach rumble

 

 

 

and it  became  more apparent the closer to the center of camp they got

 

 

 

 

Notes:

awww Negan and Rick's horses are buddies 🐴🐴

Chapter 26

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick could see a fire burning in the distance  and when they walked closer, it was a large bonfire surrounded by rocks

 

 

 

 

several people were already sitting down around the fire, eating what looked like stew 

 

 

 

 

everyone looked up when Rick walked past with Daryl

 

 

 

some eyes were filled with curiosity, some with anger and danger

 

 

 

 

Rick saw Carol sitting next to her daughter and another woman with red hair who he recognised as one of the women who had helped patch him up

 

 

 

 

Carol smiled at them both as they walked past

 

 

 

Rick felt  cold, sharp eyes boring into his back as they passed and headed towards the food wagon

 

 

 

a savior was walking down towards the fire with a bowl of food

 

 

 

 

"Daryl " he mumbled underneath his hat

 

 

 

 

when he passed Rick, he deliberately knocked his shoulder into Rick's wounded one

 

 

 

 

An electric shock of pain  ran through his shoulder and pulsated through his chest

 

 

 

 

Rick  yelped out in surprise and pain, grabbing at his shoulder

 

 

 

 

" Watch where your going asshole " he grumbled, glaring at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 Daryl came and stood slightly in front of him, his shaggy hair hanging in front of his  eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick could see they were narrowed and dangerous

 

 

 

 

"  fuck off Manny " he spat

 

 

 

 

The man smirked at him, walking backward

 

 

 

he  winked at Rick  and , turned around and walked down to the camp fire

 

 

 

 

"asshole...he's one of simons crew, don't fucking worry about him " Daryl spat

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows..Simon's crew..were the men here all  Negan's men ??

 

 

 

 

"come on " he patted Rick's back and led the way to the food wagon

 

 

 

 

 joey handed Rick a large bowl of food

 

 

 

it smelt amazing

 

 

 

'' there's bread too " joey smiled, motioning to the large wicker basket filled with bread

 

 

 

Rick's eyes lit up 

 

 

 

he was in heaven..he had lived off beans and jerky for around 2 years, and he was so glad to see and smell a hot meal

 

 

 

"plenty for everyone " joey beamed

 

 

 

"thank you " rick smiled

 

 

 

"   Merle and negan  not back  yet ? "' Daryl mumbled to Joey

 

 

 

 

joey looked at him

 

 

 

 

"no not yet, but you know what they get  like when they go into town, probably  knee deep in pussy right about  now " joey laughed

 

 

 

Rick's gut twisted at the thought of Negan with someone 

 

 

 

 

he himself had a number of whores when he was in Atlanta so he really couldn't be jealous..could he ???  

 

 

 

Joey looked at him and furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' don't let it get cold now '' he motioned to the bowl

 

 

 

Rick  grabbed a slice of bread  nodded and followed Daryl like a lost puppy back down to the bonfire

 

 

 

 

they walked toward Carol, Sophia, and the red haired young woman

 

 

 

 

her daughter who smiled broadly at rick

 

 

 

 

they were now sitting next to a pretty woman, who rick recognised as another one of the women who was helping Carol patch him up, and next to her was scarface

 

 

 

Rick looked  at him as he  opposite him, next to Daryl

 

 

 

 

the fire made his face seem worse than it actually was, shadows dancing on his scar, making it seem to contort 

 

 

 

 

 the  was eyeing Rick over his bowl

 

 

 

 

 

" hi there I'm sherry " the pretty woman next to scarface spoke, smiling at Rick

 

 

 

 

 Rick's eyes flicked over to her and he   smiled weakly at her

 

 

 

 

"This is my husband Dwight " she put her hand on the shoulder of scarface- Dwight so he now had a name

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked back to him

 

 

 

 

he had a look of distaste on his face...directed solely at Rick

 

 

 

 

''and this is Frankie '' she motioned to the woman on her left  with flaming red hair who smiled  at Rick shyly

 

 

 

 

 Rick smiled and tipped his hat, digging into the stew

 

 

 

 

" we helped patch you up " sherry said

 

 

 

 

rick looked at her over his bowl at her

 

 

 

" We are all glad you are up and walking around, it was touch and go there for a few days..wasn't to Frankie ?  " she looked to the other  woman, who nodded

 

 

 

 

" well ladies I do appreciate everything you all did for me, I can never repay your generosity " rick said, genuinely

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' we wasted our precious resources on you.. several times " Dwight spat over his bowl

 

 

 

 

everyone looked at him including Rick

 

 

 

 

he glared at rick, as sherry put her hand on his back, whispering something in his ear

 

 

 

 

" so Rick....." carol spoke 

 

 

 

he didnt look at her but glared at Dwight

 

 

 

 

"did you see boots ??  " she asked glancing at Dwight, trying to steer the  conversation away from what Dwight was pushing

 

 

 

" Boss had to ride into town to get more, we wasted it all on your fucked up ass, not even enough for our own people anymore, do you know what a fucking huge risk it is  for him to be going into town ??? no I bet you don't.. " he spat

 

 

 

rick felt anger rising in his chest, he didnt ask Negan to  bring him back here, it wasn't like he had held a gun to his head

 

 

 

" Dwight " Daryl mumbled

 

 

 

 

" no man... someone has to fucking say it..he's not even one of us " he waved his hand at Rick

 

 

 

 

" he was badly injured, near death.. i hope if you are ever in the same position Dwight...you'd  receive help too..even if you aren't one of them " Carol spat, glaring at him

 

 

 

Dwight's lips pressed together tightly, glaring at Rick

 

 

 

Rick figured this guy was on his side when he defended him against Simon the last night..he guessed  wrong

 

 

 

 

"now can we all  just  have a pleasant meal " Carol added

 

 

 

 everyone was silent as the tension  lay  thick  in the air

 

 

 

rick averted his eyes back to his meal

 

 

 

 

he was almost finished when Dwight mumbled something under his breath

 

 

 

 

something  along the lines of lawman and dead in the ground

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to him immediately

 

 

 

"what was that  ?? " he spat

 

 

 

Dwight looked taken aback like he didnt expect Rick to hear him

 

 

 

" shut the fuck up Dwight " Daryl  warned, glaring at him

 

 

 

" Why are you even fucking defending him for  Daryl ?? ..wasn't he the asshole who locked up merle every other fucking week..him and that fucking bastard sheriff..what was his name... Greene ?? " he said with venom

 

 

 

 

Rick felt the anger boiling in the pit of his stomach when he mentioned Hershel

 

 

 

 

"fucking weak old man, no wonder he was killed, he didnt know how to fucking run that town " he smirked at Rick

 

 

 

Rick's hand clenched into a fist

 

 

 

 

'' Bet you just loved riding his coat tails huh deputy, liked the fucking power you all had .....locking up us scum..outlaws..bet the ladies all got down on their knees for you lot..protecting  and serving  at its best  huh  " he scoffed

 

 

 

rick wanted to punch this  asshole in his fucked up face, but he remembered what Negan had said..play nice and he would let him leave with his weapons

 

 

 

 

" I didnt ask Negan to bring me back here, that was his choice and his alone, so if you have a problem with the use of resources .. I suggest you speak to him about it " he gritted his teeth, feeling his body shaking with anger

 

 

 

" Hershel was like a father to me... he  respected the badge he wore, as do I, I love my job, the people I protect are like my family, although we are not related by blood..much like you all here " he added

 

 

 

" He was fucking gunned down in cold blood " rick felt warm tears in his eyes, but he would not show weakness in front of this asshole

 

 

 

" so keep his name out of your fucking mouth when he can't even be here to defend himself, he gave everyone the benefit of the doubt..even Merle Dixon...every.single.time.....he was a great man..more than I will ever be and this shitty world lost a bright star when he   died" rick  spat

 

 

 

 

he stood up abruptly

 

 

 

 

Dwight reached for his weapon at his side

 

 

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes at him, flicking down to his thigh

 

 

 

he  glanced at the women

 

 

 

" ladies.. Sophia  " he tipped his hat to them, as they gave him a  sympathetic look

 

 

 

Dwight took his hand off his thigh

 

 

 

"I think ill head to my tent for the night " he smiled weakly at them

 

 

 

"Rick you dont.." Carol began

 

 

 

"it's okay" he glared at Dwight who glared back at him

 

 

 

"thankyou " he put a hand on Daryl's shoulder as he passed him

 

 

 

he felt all their eyes on his back as he walked off towards his tent

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was sitting on the cot, his back against the propped up pillow

 

 

 

one leg bent at the knee, one stretched out

 

 

 

he had taken his sling off and rested his arm on his stomach

 

 

 

the lantern burned dimly beside him as he knawed on his fingernail, mind  buzzing

 

 

 

how could he give these people a chance if they wouldn't give him one ?? a few were pleasant enough, but he knew the majority of the saviors wouldn't change their minds about him, no matter how hard he tried

 

 

His thoughts turned to Annette and the girls, he missed them terribly

 

 

 

 

" Grimes " Negan's voice pulled Rick out of his daze

 

 

 

 

he blinked dumbly and looked  over to  the man who had appeared  suddenly in the tent like magic

 

 

 

 Rick  said nothing and sat  up straight

 

 

 

Negan looked at him curiously, stepping closer to him

 

 

 

" well, I dont see any new  injuries, so I'm assuming you had a good day without me  ? '' he questioned

 

 

 

Rick huffed slightly looking down at his lap and back up to Negan and the brown bag he had in his hands

 

 

 

Negan followed his gaze

 

 

 

"oh yeh, here'' he pulled several familiar looking bottles out of the bag and threw them on the cot, landing at Rick's boots

 

 

 

 

He didnt need to pick them up to know what they were

 

 

 

opium !!

 

 

 

his eyes darted back up to Negan..was this a joke ??

 

 

 

"dont say  I never get you nothing  " Negan said seriously, looking at them

 

 

 

rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

" figured you'd be running  low by now " he shrugged like it was nothing

 

 

 

 

"don't like  you using them.....but..you've been through hell and I know you've gotta be in pain " he said with a tender tone in his voice

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent, staring up at the older man, not sure what to say

 

 

 

" stop giving me those sad puppy dog eyes Grimes...fuck " he averted his eyes, back to the bag

 

 

 

 

rick averted his eyes to the pills

 

 

 

 

"here wash em down with this " he shoved a bottle of whiskey in rick's face

 

 

 

 

rick sat back slightly and looked back at Negan, stunned

 

 

 

 

"i..i dont know what to say " he stammered

 

 

 

"a fucking thankyou would be a good start...that fucking whiskey cost me a fucking tenner " he raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent and he took the liquor off Negan, their fingers touching 

 

 

 

 

Rick flinched. like lightning  had struck him and Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

Rick eyed the dark bottle of whiskey silently

 

 

 

 

" what's wrong with you  ? " Negan tilted his head

 

 

 

" nothing " rick  said  sadly, not looking at him

 

 

 

"Did someone  fuck with you today ? ''  Negan's tone turned dark

 

 

 

rick didnt look at him

 

 

 

"no...well nothing I couldn't handle " he glanced at Negans boots

 

 

 

 

"fucking hell... " Negan gritted his teeth in anger

 

 

 

 

" well what did you fucking  expect huh ?? we'd all be friends and sit around the campfire singing songs  " rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

 

" NO smart ass, but I expected them to  maybe show you a  small ounce of fucking hospitality " he raised his voice, seemingly angry

 

 

 

"Carol, Daryl, and some of the ladies were approachable..joey too...dont blame the others...I'm a fucking stranger to them Negan, they dont know me like you do...give them a fucking break..im not a fucking baby, I can take a bit of  shit talking "

 

 

 

'' No ones calling you a fucking baby..fuck Rick.., why do you always have to twist my fucking words around huh  ? '' Negan turned around, his back to rick

 

 

 

 

"let's just both agree that I dont belong here and the sooner I leave, the better  "

 

 

 

 

" the better for who ??  '' Negan spun around

 

 

 

 

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed..why did they always end up yelling at each other

 

 

 

 

"look.... thank you for these " he motioned to the pills 

 

 

 

 

"I really appreciate them..I mean it..really, I've actually just  run out  and was shitting myself on how I was gonna get more" he looked Negan in the eyes

 

 

 

 

Negan looked down at rick and stepped closer and something began hurting  in Rick's chest

 

 

 

 

something he had felt for the man years ago, well it actually never left his heart

 

 

 

As Negan stepped more into the dim light of the lantern, Rick noticed  small bruises on his neck

 

 

 

HICKIES

 

 

 

HICKIES he once gave Negan

 

 

 

his pain in his chest twisted into jealousy

 

 

 

 

"you missed a good supper " Rick said looking away and changing the subject  fast

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent and pulled up the small stool, sitting down, running a hand through his dark locks

 

 

 

 

" Daryl said you left before sunrise...Black river isn't that far away.. hope you didnt run into any trouble getting these for me ? " Rick motioned to the items on his cot

 

 

 

 

" Nah, no problem ....  me and Merle had a few at the saloon, lost track of time I guess " he shrugged

 

 

 

 

" always liked that place " he grinned

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt like that look on his face... like he had his dick buried in a dirty whore all day

 

 

 

 

" had a few whiskey's.....is that all  ? '' rick questioned, picking at the label of the whiskey with his fingernails, feeling like a pathetic jealous asshole

 

 

 

 

Negan  furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

 

" yeh  why ??  you want  a detailed itinerary of every fucking thing I did or something ?? '' he said cockily

 

 

 

 

" NO " rick spat, defensively, rolling the whiskey bottle in his hands

 

 

 

 

" any mentions  of me around town ??  '' rick asked out of curiosity

 

 

 

 

"I heard your name mentioned a few times, throughout the day, yeh " negan said

 

 

 

rick looked up to him

 

 

 

" They all  think your drunk  or jacked up dead  somewhere  " he shrugged

 

 

 

Rick frowned

 

 

 

" guess they know you too well huh Grimes " he smirked

 

 

 

Rick glared at him 

 

 

 

"fuck you " he spat

 

 

"hey,.I'm not the one sitting around talking shit about you Grimes, talking about their great, righteous deputy behind his back am I ?? . it's your precious town remember, not mine  " he put both hands up in mock defense

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and glared at Negan and back at the whiskey

 

 

 

he felt sick, did the people he loved like family really think he was a fucking drunk, junkie ?? who after Hershel was killed just went off to hide and get high ?? did the girls think the same too ?? 

 

 

 

" hey " negan said softly

 

 

 

Rick didnt look up to him

 

 

 

 

" who  gives a fuck what they think anyway  ??  " negan said

 

 

 

 

" I fucking do " rick spat

 

 

 

"why ?? " he tilted his head

 

 

 

"Are you fucking stupid ?? " he snapped

 

 

 

negans face twisted

 

 

 

" I will be going back there in a few days, I will have to face them all, you think I can walk back into town with my head held high when I know they are all thinking the worst of me..thinking I was just out there getting fucking wasted ??" he yelled motioning to the tent opening

 

 

 

" No one said  you'd be ok to travel in a few days " Negan said, a strange tone in his voice

 

 

 

" what about Annette and the girls..I care about what they think...fuck " rick pulled at his curls, ignoring Negan's remark

 

 

 

"  I didn't even stay for Hershel's  proper  funeral,...all I fucking cared about was Shane and getting to him..." he yelled suddenly panicked

 

 

 

 

"like I said who really fucking cares what a bunch  of wasted, drunk assholes  were spooking about...it's not like they had an audience, Rick ..fuck..no one gave a fuck what they were saying " Negan voice raised

 

 

" And you ain't going anywhere until i fucking say so " he stood up abruptly, looming over rick

 

 

 

"I'm not your fucking prisoner " Rick bit back

 

 

 

 

"no..but if you want your fucking weapons back, then  youll fucking wait until I give them back to you.... or you can fuck off  without them " he screamed

 

 

 

"what are you fucking black mailing me now ??  " rick glared up at him

 

 

 

"That was our deal..you stay here and heal and ill happily give you your weapons back..you a fucking pain in my ass anyway..why the fuck would I want you here an longer than needed ??'' Negan spat

 

 

 

rick stilled as his face dropped, hurt

 

 

 

Negan blinked like he knew he spoke without thinking first

 

 

 

Rick glared at the whiskey bottle, gripping it

 

 

 

"didn't know having me around  was such a fucking burden on you  " he whispered, feeling hurt

 

 

 

 

"you know I didnt fucking mean that " Negan said firmly

 

 

 

"do I ?? '' rick whispered

 

 

 

"rick " negan said softly

 

 

 

"do you mean it ? '' rick mumbled

 

 

" what  ?  ''

 

 

" that you'll give me my weapons back when I'm well enough to ride outta here ? ''

 

 

 

Negan was strangely silent

 

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to him

 

 

 

" do you mean it " he spoke louder

 

 

 

"yes " he said flatly, looking down at him with wide eyes

 

 

 

 

Rick simply nodded looking at the pills

 

 

 

 

"its been a long day, I think ill go to bed now" he didnt look at Negan

 

 

 

"rick" negan began

 

 

 

 

"just go..please" he closed his eyes tightly

 

 

 

 

 

Negan stepped back from the cot, slowly and turned to leave

 

 

 

 

"make sure you wash, you still smell like  dirty whores " Rick snapped

 

 

 

Negan stopped where he was and didnt move

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at him, his back was taught and tight

 

 

 

he spun around glaring at Rick who was looking at the opium in his hand

 

 

 

Negan opened his mouth to say something but  pressed his lips together tightly

 

 

 

Rick looked up to him 

 

 

 

'' oh you're still here.. ??'' he said cockily, raising an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

Negan smirked running his eyes over Rick on the cot

 

 

 

he turned and disappeared into the darkness as rick sighed and flopped back on the propped up pillow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

hahahaha love a fucking sassy Rick

Chapter 27

Notes:

The Adonis belt-refers to the two V shaped muscular grooves on the abdominal muscles alongside the hips

Chapter Text

Rick's deputy hat was pushed off his head and fell to the desk beneath him

 

 

 

he grabbed Negan's face with  both his hands crashing their lips together, pushing his tongue inside the older man's mouth

 

 

 

Negan hummed into the kiss and his hands trailed down Rick's back, grabbing hand fulls of rick's tight ass

 

 

 

 

suddenly Negan picked Rick up by the back of his thighs  and put him on the desk

 

 

 

 

 his  lips attacked his neck, rough stubble scratching his soft skin

 

 

 

His hips were grabbed and pulled to the edge of the  desk, Rick spread his legs and wrapped them around Negan's strong body

 

 

 

 


"miss me  grimes ?? '' Negan purred against Rick's neck

 

 

 


Rick tilted his head back, as Negan nipped at his neck 

 

 

 

...they shouldn't be doing this here, in the jail, but his straining dick in his pants didnt give a fuck

 

 

 


"answer when you're spoken to Grimes'' Negan bit his teeth into Rick's collar bone  as his eyes widened

 

 

 


"yyyess''  Rick whined out breathless

 

 

 

Negan laughed against his neck, and pulled Rick's deputy shirt out from his pants,  running  his hands up under it,  his calloused hands touching his hot skin

 

 

 


Rick's hands fumbled with Negan's pants trying to get his buttons open

 

 

 


Negan's lips never left Ricks  as his skilled hands undid Rick's shirt buttons and flung it on the floor

 

 

 


Negan's pants were undone and hung loosely on his hips, his hooded eyes looked up to Rick and back down to his pants

 

 

 

 


"get em off grimes" he smirked

 

 

 


Rick smirked up at the older man and hopped off the desk as he made fast work of his pants, pulling them and his underwear down simultaneously

 

 

 


there the deputy of Balck River stood completely naked in the jail, pants pooling around his boots, hard dick throbbing against his stomach

 

 

 

Negan's  hooded eyes trailed down his body and back up to his eyes

 

 

 


" turn around " Negan licked his lips,  eyes filled with lust

 

 

 

 


Rick did as he was told and put both palms firmly on the desk

 

 

 


Negan moved Rick's curls that sat at the base of his neck out of the way, making way for his mouth to lay kisses there

 

 

 


Rick moaned softly

 

 

 


Negan suddenly slapped Rick's ass hard and Rick yelped in surprise

 

 

 


"I could never get sick of this fucking site" he purred in Rick's ear and slapped the other cheek leaving a red mark

 

 

 


Rick's dick was straining and he grabbed it and began stroking it, mouth open, making small noises

 

 

 


Negan pushed rick flat on the desk by the back of his neck and trailed his fingers down his spine 

 

 

 


he looked down and spat some saliva in the crack of Rick's ass, watching it drip down into his opening

 

 

 

" God damn Grimes, you are fucking beautiful " Negan purred

 

 

 

he put a finger into his mouth, sucking on it and bringing it out with  a loud pop, saliva dripping from it

 

 

 

 he ran it down the wet trail and inserted a finger into Rick

 

 

 


Rick's eyes flew open at the intrusion and he moaned loudly

 

 

 


"mmm you  like that honey" Negan whispered  above him

 

 

 


'fuck"  was all Rick could manage as Negan's finger slid in and out of him, the friction was making rick see stars as he stroked his dick slowly

 

 

 

 

Negan added another finger and Rick hissed at the burn

 

 

 


"fuck Grimes, so fucking tight  " Negan   purred above him

 

 

 


he pumped his fingers in and out of Rick as he held him down on the desk by the back of his neck with his free hand

 

 

 

 Rick stroked his dick harder and ran a thumb over his slit, moaning loudly

 

 

 


" God fuck me now Negan" Rick  yelled out, wrecked already  

 

 

 

'' .... I didnt hear the  magic word " he smirked above Rick, ponding his fingers in and out harder

 

 

 

 

"Fuck " Rick yelled when Negan's fingers brushed up against  his prostate

 

 

 

 

"no that isn't the word I'm waiting for   " Negan scoffed

 

 

 

 

" FUCK.... PLEASE " Rick screamed, letting go of his dick and attempting to rise off the desk

 

 

 


Negan grinned his wolf grin behind the deputy and pulled his fingers out with a pop and shoved him back down by his back

 

 

 

" Did I fucking say you could get up huh ??  " he said gruffly

 

 

 

 

"well stop fucking around and fuck me " Rick turned his  head to him , baring his teeth

 

 

 

"so fucking needy " Negan laughed

 

 

 


he spat on his hard dick and rubbed the precum up and down his  length, giving it a few strokes

 

 

 

he lined his dick up with rick's opening and put a strong hand on the back of his neck, holding him still

 

 

 

"I Love you Rick " Negan said softly

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, feeling  the blunt head of his cock pushing  past his muscles

 

 

 

 suddenly his eyes opened as the morning sun was shining in through the opening of the tent

 

 

 

he blinked stupidly, wiping the sleep from his eyes

 

 

 

fuck.... it was a fucking dream !!!

 

 

 

he lifted the sheet up to look  at  his painfully  hard dick straining in his underwear

 

 

 

he flopped his head back down on the pillow, groaning, running a hand through his curls

 

 

 

fuck he was horny as fuck !!

 

 

 

he put his left hand under the sheets pulling his aching dick free  from his underwear and began stroking it

 

 

 

 it wouldn't take long he  was already dripping  with pre cum

 

 

 

he didnt give a fuck who may have walked in right now, he desperately needed  some release

 

 

 

He closed his eyes as the feeling swept him up like a wave

 

 

 

 

 

he twisted his wrist and ran a thumb over his wet slit

 

 

 

 

he bit into his lip, stifling a loud moan

 

 

 

It wasn't long when he felt that burning feeling in the pit of his stomach and threw his head back on the pillow, his heart racing

 

 

 

he bit into his lip so hard he tasted blood and came in his hand

 

 

 

he saw small dots in front of his closed lids as he rode his orgasm down slowly

 

 

 

when his heart was pumping back at a regular rate he open his eyes, looking up at the tent ceiling

 

 

 

his hand was filled with cum and most probably his underwear

 

 

 

"fuck" he breathed out and lifted the  sheets 

 

 

 

he wriggled out of his underwear and rolled them up, wiping the cum off his hand and throwing them in the corner of the tent  near his bag..he would wash them himself later

 

 

 

Thinking about washing, he would love a cool clean wash himself, it had been a while since he had had one

 

 

 

 

dried blood was still stuck to his skin and he now had dried cum on his hand

 

 

 

 

He sighed loudly

 

 

 

he'd ask Carol about it later

 

 

 

He felt incredibly sleepy  and his eyes felt heavy, he felt so damn relaxed now

 

 

 

He didnt know when he fell back asleep but he was rudely awoken by someone kicking the end of his cot

 

 

 

it was Daryl

 

 

 

" what fucking time do you call this ??  " he smirked

 

 

 

Rick sat up,dazed, rubbing a hand down his stubble

 

 

 

"guess I fell back to sleep" he mumbled

 

 

 

 

"you must have needed it " Daryl looked at him

 

 

 

Rick glanced at his bag where he threw his underwear and now just realised he was completely naked underneath the sheets in front of a  Dixon

 

 

 

 

He swallowed a large lump in his throat as Daryl furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

 

".... thought you'd come out  hunting  today " he smiled through his shaggy hair

 

 

 

"a ..a what " rick said dumbly, still waking up

 

 

 

Daryl held up his crossbow, eyebrow raised

 

 

 

 

"get ya out in the fresh air, that wound will heal up quicker if you get some blood pumping to it  " he looked at Rick's bandages

 

 

 

 

"some of the others are coming too " he jerked his head to the opening of the tent

 

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped

 

 

 

"is that wise ? " he said

 

 

 

"what ? " Daryl tilted his head

 

 

 

"me ..out there, hunting with saviors... who want me dead ..."

 

 

 

"no one wants ya dead man " he scoffed

 

 

 

"don't bet on it "

 

 

 

"don't be such a pussy, you told me you went hunting with ya boy,I bet you could show them a thing or two  " he smiled

 

 

 

Rick looked down to his lap furrowing his brows

 

 

 

He wanted to go but not with the others, lining him up with their  shotguns

 

 

 

 

Daryl seemed to sense his hesitation

 

 

 

 

"it's cool man..just thought id ask" he turned to go

 

 

 

"wait " rick said

 

 

 

 

Daryl turned around, eyes filled with hope

 

 

 

"it's not that I don't want to go,its... " he looked away from the younger man's pressing eyes

 

 

 

 

"it's  just I don't think I should be going hunting with...with saviors " he whispered

 

 

 

Daryl was silent and Rick looked up to him

 

 

 

his jaw twitched and he narrowed his eyes

 

 

 

"ok " he simply said

 

 

 

"Daryl " Rick began

 

 

 

"it's cool man..ill see ya after sunset " he didnt wait for Rick's response and disappeared out through the tent opening

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, he felt like he let him down..but he didnt want to risk his life again, now he was on the mend

 

 

 

He sat on the cot for a few minutes, listening to the voices of  saviors outside, getting on with their day and rick looked at his bag and thought he better get his ass up too

 

 

 

he walked over naked to his bag, rummaging through it, looking for some clean clothes

 

 

 

he found a clean pair of pants but no clean shirts...carol did say the girls would wash his last shirt and return it, but that was only yesterday, he thought

 

 

 

he couldn't find any clean underwear either and furrowed his brows

 

 

 

he didnt pack much  and he suddenly wished he had

 

 

 

he took his clean pants back over to the cot and pulled them up, without much pain in his shoulder

 

 

 

 

he had no  underwear on, and they hung loosely on his hips

 

 

 

he had definitely  lost weight, these used to fit before he was ambushed by Shane

 

 

 

he looked down at himself, his adonis belt showed, on his flat stomach

 

 

 

he was still quite muscular, but he didnt feel fit

 

 

 

he picked up the small pile of clothes he had acquired in the corner and put his hat on, stepping out into the bright sunshine

 

 

 

 

 

He saw a group of men standing in a semi circle, with large shotguns in their hands and rick slowed his gait down, hoping they would move before he had to pass them

 

 

 

one turned his head, eyeing rick

 

 

 

"fuck " Rick said under his breath but kept walking, his head held high, eyes adverted elsewhere

 

 

 

the man who saw him first seemed to draw the other's attention to Rick walking their way and a few more turned around

 

 

 

Rick felt sick but it was too late to turn around and walk the other way

 

 

 

their leering, dirty faces all  twisted  when  Rick  passed them

 

 

 

 

a few loud  remarks about law scum  and Rick  being a pretty boy were spat out  as he walked past 

 

 

 

 

 Rick  pressed his lips tightly together and kept his eyes straight ahead

 

 

 

 

suddenly a wolf  whistle  came from the middle of the  group and Rick stilled

 

 

 

 

"Well lookie here " a man spoke

 

 

 

fucking Merle Dixon..Rick knew that voice anywhere

 

 

 

he didnt turn around as his jaw twitched in irritation at the man's voice

 

 

 

 

" where you going in such a hurry deputy " he spoke

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes...his brain telling him not to react

 

 

 

 

"looks like your gonna go do laundry with the woman and not come hunting with us men " he stepped in front of Rick, a stupid smirk on his face

 

 

 

 

rick just looked at him, uninterested in his shit

 

 

 

 

"well  now that would just  make it too easy for you to fucking kill me now it ??  " rick smirked

 

 

 

Merle's smirk faded to a scowl

 

 

 

" I mean I would be pretty fucking stupid if I was running around out there  with a big old target on my back now wouldn't I ?'' he smiled

 

 

 

Merle glanced at the group of men behind Rick and his eyes flicked back to rick, looking him up and down slowly

 

 

 

"you're stupid anyway..." he stepped closer to Rick 

 

 

 

"what do you think you're doing here boy ??  " he scoffed in Rick's face

 

 

 

"this here is a savior camp..we dont like " he looked Rick up and down again, his teeth bared

 

 

 

"we dont like lawmen here " he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

"Yeah Simon already told me that one..pity I had to break his nose  " rick smiled

 

 

 

Merel bared his teeth and  pushed rick in the chest angrily

 

 

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth in pain

 

 

 

 

suddenly there was a loud whistle from behind Merle

 

 

 

 

Merle spun around and Rick looked over at the noise

 

 

 

 

Negan was on top of his horse, shotgun in his hand

 

 

 

he looked so handsome up there, dressed in black, hat pulled down, his hazel eyes boring down on the men

 

 

 

 

Daryl was next to him, on top of his horse, hair hanging in his eyes, crossbow in his hand

 

 

 

 

"lets move..were losing the light "  Negan  yelled out to the men

 

 

 

Merle turned around and glared at Rick 

 

 

 

"see ya later..Ricky boy " he mumbled as he passed him

 

 

 

Rick looked up to Negan who was looking at him, a stern look on his face

 

 

 

His eyes trailed down Rick's semi naked body and once again rick felt something in his stomach flutter, like fucking butterflies

 

 

 

" If you aren't coming with us, find something  productive to do today " he spat at Rick

 

 

 

"We all fucking do our fair share around here " he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

before Rick could respond

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled on the reins of his horse and it raised up on its back legs, whinnying loudly

 

 

 

 

Negan rode off without a second glance at Rick

 

 

 

 

Daryl gave him a sympathetic look and pulled the reigns on his own horse, trotting off after Negan's

 

 

 

Rick  stood there as the other men all mumbled under their breaths, knocking their shoulders into his back as they passed him, seemingly heading down to the paddock to get their horses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 28

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick felt like an  insignificant piece of horse manure on the bottom of Negan's boot heel, as he watched him ride off into the distance

 

 

 

maybe he should have gone with them ??

 

 

 

 

And what ?? get fucking killed by a savior, that just happened to miss their target and shoot rick right between the eyes

 

 

 

 

Nah..fuck that  !!

 

 

 

 

No, he wouldn't feel bad for staying here, he was protecting himself..he wasn't any less of a man staying behind while the men went and hunted..holding his laundry..half naked

 

 

 

he sighed to himself loudly

 

 

 

 

he looked down at his dirty laundry and felt very emasculated and meek all of a sudden

 

 

 

 

what a sight he must have looked to Negan, sitting upon his horse like he was more  superior like Rick was nothing but a grunt

 

 

 

 

he saw the other men on their horses riding past, and Merle gave Rick a smug smile 

 

 

 

 

" have fun washing your fucking panties Grimes " he called, taking his hat off and waving it in the air

 

 

 

 

the other men laughed and Rick gave him the middle finger

 

 

 

 

Merel put his hand on his heart dramatically and laughed

 

 

 

 they soon disappeared out of sight, a trail of dust flying into the air

 

 

 

 

his jaw twitched as he held his clothes in his hands

 

 

 

 

"what's that about washing "  A woman's voice startled Rick  and he spun around, nearly dropping his clothes

 

 

 

 

it was Frankie

 

 

 

 

she had a broad smile on her face until  her eyes trailed down Rick's muscled torso

 

 

 

 

she didnt even try and hide her desire to eat Rick alive

 

 

 

 

''  Good Morning Frankie  " he said quickly, moving the clothes, to cover his chest slightly

 

 

 

 

 

it had been years since a beautiful woman had seen him half naked

 

 

 

 

 

"oh do you want us to wash these for you ? '' she smiled,her eyes trailing up to his face

 

 

 

 

 

"no " he snapped

 

 

 

she furrowed her brows at him

 

 

 

"i mean,no sorry ..no...I would like to do them myself, is there somewhere you all do  the washing ? '' he looked around

 

 

 

"well it just so happens we  are all off to do the washing this morning " she smiled

 

 

 

 

" Why dont you come with us  Rick " she practically squealed like an excitable child

 

 

 

rick  averted his eyes

 

 

"We go to a small river near here, it's about 1-hour wagon ride away " she gestured to the horse paddock

 

 

 

A river...Rick's eyes lit up, he'd love a wash

 

 

 

"oh id love a wash and shave ' he smiled broadly

 

 

 

Frankie giggled

 

 

 

 

" We the women  use It as a bathing hole when we go and do the washing , so it will be perfect Rick   " she smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to her and he suddenly began coughing

 

 

 

 

Rick.... naked .....bathing with the ladies, Jesus

 

 

 

"oh ..oh umm" he felt a hot flush  rise up his neck

 

 

 

 

"oh no I couldn't, not if the ladies are bathing " he said softly, rubbing the back of his neck

 

 

 

 

 

"don't be silly " she laughed

 

 

 

 

" there is a secluded area where we bath, it's not anywhere near where we wash the clothes...you could have your turn after us "

 

 

 

 

Rick was hesitant, but he would love to get clean, he felt disgusting

 

 

 

 

"and what a gentleman, thinking about our dignity like that, I'm very sure   some saviors like Merle Dixon wouldn't have manners like that " she smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick scoffed

 

 

 

Merle would be in heaven amongst naked women

 

 

 

 

". well ... I would definitely  love to get out of here for a few hours ." he sighed

 

 

 

 

 

she put her hand on his shoulder,her touch was like a lightening bolt

 

 

 

 

"its settle then..you can ride in the wagon with me and sherry " she beamed

 

 

 

 

he smiled weakly, looking at her hand which was still there

 

 

 

 

"oh this is going to be so much fun " she squealed,removing her hand

 

 

 

 

-Rick didnt think so -

 

 

 

"come on Rick, follow me " she turned and walked away waving her hand to him

 

 

 

 

 

 

he followed her  down towards the horse paddock, where he saw  Carol, sherry, Sophia, and a few other women and children standing by the horse paddock fence, talking

 

 

 

 

 

 

They all looked over when Rick, following Frankie, clothes in his arms, wearing only pants came into view

 

 

 

 

 

he felt every set of eyes drawn directly toward him 

 

 

 

 

"so rick will be joining us today ladies, won't that be wonderful " she chirped

 

 

 

 

the ladies all looked at one another

 

 

 

 

"YAY" Sophia yelled

 

 

 

 

" well Rick you are very welcome of corse " Carol smiled

 

 

 

 

 

"  it will be nice to have one of the men come along actually..... as you can imagine they all seem to be conveniently busy on washing day" Carol raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

some of the ladies whispered to each other

 

 

 

 

 

"I appreciate this  ladies,i won't be a bother  " he tried to smile warmly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"well, we have already loaded up.. so you ......" Carol began 

 

 

 

 

 

" Rick's riding along  with me  in the wagon" Frankie said before Carol could even finish

 

 

 

 

 

she glanced  at Rick

 

 

 

 

"well that's a good idea, cause your shoulder isn't ready for riding in  a  saddle  just yet " she smiled

 

 

 

 

 

"ok ladies, saddle up " she yelled

 

 

 

 

 

Frankie and Sherry  walked over to a large wagon that looked like the one joey was cooking out of the previous night

 

 

 

 

 

They were whispering to each other and turned around to Rick, giggling

 

 

 

 

-Fuck what had he gotten himself into - rick thought

 

 

 

 

 

 

when Rick reached the wagon, they were already sat up in the driver's seat, broad smiles on their faces

 

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick " Frankie called, waving him up

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at his clothes and the high wagon, wondering how he would get up into it with his shoulder in bandages

 

 

 

 

 

"Here let me help you " Frankie called down to him

 

 

 

 

 

before Rick could protest she jumped down off the wagon and stood inches apart from his  face  

 

 

 

 

he could smell the  sweet perfume she was wearing

 

 

 

 

 

he blinked, stunned, and took a step back slightly

 

 

 

 

"here " she took his clothes and threw them up into the wicker baskets filled with laundry in the back of the wagon

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt suddenly very naked now the clothes weren't  hiding his torso from wandering eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Frankie  looked him up and down like she wanted to eat him alive

 

 

 

 

 

Rick cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable

 

 

 

 

 

'' we'd better get going "  He  said shyly

 

 

 

 

she jumped back up into the seat and held her hand out for Rick

 

 

 

 

he looked at her hand and stilled for a moment

 

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick " she smiled down at him

 

 

 

 

she was a real beauty, her eyes held such tenderness, yet something else was behind those innocent eyes, something Rick couldn't put his finger on 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt a  niggle in his stomach, he shouldn't be admiring other women, what about Lori ?? what if she thought he'd forgotten about her ??

 

 

 

 

 he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

" Rick " she said a bit firmer

 

 

 

he shook his head and took her hand as she pulled him up into the driver's seat

 

 

 

 

his shoulder pulled from the force and he gritted his teeth and pressed his palm against it

 

 

 

 

 

"are you ok rick ?? " she said concerned, putting her hand on his shoulder

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm fine " he smiled weakly

 

 

 

 

"ok you two...Ready ?  " sherry  said and flicked the reigns making the horse begin walking

 

 

 

 

The  camp soon disappeared into the distance and a feeling of relief washed over him

 

 

 

 

some of the other ladies and Carol rode past on their horses smiling and chatting to each other

 

 

 

 

Sophia was riding with carol and she waved to Rick smiling broadly

 

 

 

 

He smiled back, waving she was a real sweetheart

 

 

 

 

 

the warm sun shone on his face and he closed his eyes, he hadn't felt this  relaxed  in months

 

 

 

 

 

"Rick " Frankie's chipper voice made Rick open his eyes

 

 

 

 

he looked at both women, who were smiling at him strangely

 

 

 

 

" Sorry, what ? "' he said, dumbly

 

 

 

 

Frankie giggled

 

 

 

"do you have a girlfriend Rick ? '' she smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her like he had seen a ghost and she furrowed her brows, turning to sherry who shared her expression

 

 

 

 

''  im sorry did I say something wrong ? '' she said turning back to him looking concerned

 

 

 

 

'' no....um no '' he stammered feeling strange  for having to talk about Lori in front of strangers

 

 

 

 


''  my wife passed away several years  ago now '' he looked away from the women

 

 

 

 

the women were silent as Rick inhaled a deep breath

 

 

 

 

" I'm so sorry Rick " Frankie began

 

 

 

 

" what happened ..if you don't mind us asking  Rick " sherry said concerned

 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

 

He hadn't spoken about Lori with many people,it hurt too much

 

 

 

her family, Negan, some of the townsfolk who had known her

 

 

 

" Shane  " was all he could say, bitterly

 

 

 

 

he suddenly felt as if a knife was twisting into his heart  

 

 

 

the very mention of the man's name had him feeling physically sick

 

 

 

"Shane " sherry said, furrowing her brows

 

 

 

"he killed her...... and my son " he spat

 

 

 

the women were silent

 

 

 

"you had a son ?  " Frankie said shocked

 

 

 

" and an unborn daughter " he said quietly

 

 

 

 

" we..we were coming home one night and ...and his gang attacked us, shot me in the head....raped them both and killed them" he felt his hands shaking 

 

 

 

"that's why there's bad blood between us  " he added

 

 

 

 

" my god rick im so sorry " Sherry said softly

 

 

 

 

"How on earth did you survive a bullet to the head ? ''  Frankie  asked

 

 

 

 

"I was a lucky son of a bitch, it was just a flesh wound, a bit more to the right and I would have been killed...so the doc told me  " he grunted

 

 

 

 

''I spent those following months  hunting him and his gang, looking for revenge, he was all I could think of.. " he looked at the ground moving beneath him

 

 

 

Feeling a wave of pain wash over him

 

 

" id come back into town to get supplies, then id get wind of him and id take off again, ignoring the objections from my family to let Lori and Carl rest in peace..forget him, move on for their sake " he felt tears in his eyes and anger in his gut

 

 

 

''I'd leave my job as deputy of Black River..My sheriff gave me so many chances...he owed me nothing and I took him for granted " he clenched his hand into a fist

 

 

 

 

 

''I'd spend months out looking for Shane alone..I became an addict during the  Civil War, but my addiction got more extreme when I was out there alone, night after night, month after month '' he closed his eyes

 

 

 

 

"  the drink and pills took the pain away, momentarily.... distracting me from ending it all......i was alone "

 

 

 

 

" When  I  dragged my jacked up ass home the  last time, Shane  followed me, killed my father in law, My sheriff ....he was like a father to me " he wiped a  stray tear angrily from  his cheek

 

 

 

 

'' Shane has taken so much from me, he's all I can think about sometimes "he spat 

 

 

 

 

The women were silent, their mouths shut tightly

 

 

 

 

'' im so sorry rick ''  Frankie finally said

 

 

 

 

'' we didnt know Shane had done such terrible things " Sherry  whispered

 

 

 

 

'' I always felt uncomfortable around him, he was always acted strangely towards the women and children in the camp " she said 

 

 

 

 

'' he would clash with Negan over everything and it eventually caused animosity amongst the men''

 

 

 

 

" one morning he had just left, he stole a few horses and stuff from the camp..a  few saviors went with him as well.....Negan saw that as a major betrayal, not just from Shane but all the other men that he once called friends"

 

 

 

 

''  He  never said another word about them...most of all Shane ''

 

 

 

 

'' whispers where he went  and  formed his own gang....but he wouldn't dare challenge Negan, hed know he destroy him...so he stayed well away ''

 

 

 

 

 

'' Shane was always pretty sweet to me " Frankie said smiling

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at her

 

 

 

'' sweet..he's a fucking rapist...among other things " he spat

 

 

 

she looked at him like shed seen a ghost,shocked

 

 

 

'' Negan didnt tell us how you two knew each other or why he brought you back to the camp when you were injured.. but I understand now how you both would have crossed paths'' sherry said 

 

 

 

'' You  have a common  enemy ''

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her..and for  the first time,in a long time  he actually understood why he and Negan always seemed to be  drawn back together

 

 

 

 

..Shane..... They  did not  know it at the time,  but Shane had brought them together

 

 

 

rick scoffed

 

 

 

 

''yeah well tell Negan that, he thinks im insane for wanting revenge, That's why he took my weapons away he thinks im unstable''

 

 

 

 

'' what weapons ? '' Sherry furrowed her brows

 

 

 

 

'' the ones I came into camp with of course " rick furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

 

'' you didnt have any on you ''

 

 

 

 

'' What, no that's impossible, I carry them everywhere'' Rick laughed, slightly anxious

 

 

 

 

'' well, I was there when they brought you in, took you down from the horse, you only had your two bags on your person ..I didnt see any weapons '' she shrugged

 

 

 

ricks brain began to  spin

 

 

 

Negan had his weapons didnt he ? he knew how valuable they were to rick, he wouldn't lie to him would he ?? or would he, to protect him ??

 

 

 

 

'' Oh I must just  be mistaken " Sherry laughed

 

 

 

 

'' I  mean it was turned into chaos when you arrived we had to get you into the tent quickly, maybe negan did pick them up in the commotion..he didnt follow us directly into the tent anyway " she smiled

 

 

 

 

;'' yeh maybe '' Rick said, unsure

 

 

 

 

a silence fell among the trio for a few minutes as Rick furrowed his brows, thinking about his weapons

 

 

 

 

''so rick "  Frankie's voice made Rick blink but he didnt look at her

 

 

 

 

 

'' Carol tells us youll be leaving as soon as your able  to ride your horse, that's a shame.... we don't many  strangers in  camp....especially not as handsome as you " she grinned

 

 

 

 

 

" Frankie " sherry nudged her shoulder with her own, furrowing her brows at her 

 

 

 

 

 

'' what...he is " she turned to rick

 

 

 

Rick wasn't listening to her, he was staring at the ground

 

 

 

 

'' look there it is '' sherry yelled, ripping Rick from his thoughts

 

 

 

 

Rick looked up and in the distance, he saw  a large clump of trees, a grove

 

 

 

 

it looked inviting and cool as the  hot sun was now starting to burn his bare chest  

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

get your fucking claws off Rick Frankie ..he belongs to Negan 🙄

Chapter 29

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

As they rode closer, Rick could see a large stream, with lush looking trees and bushes  on either side of the bank

 

 

 

 

The stream disappeared around a bend behind a large boulder 

 

 

 

 

 

the wagon came to an abrupt halt and Sherry dismounted on the right hand side

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at Frankie

 

 

 

 

" do you need a hand down Rick ?? I wouldn't want you to injure your shoulder any more than you already have  " she smiled

 

 

 

 

"ill be fine thank you " he smiled weakly and got down off the wagon quickly before she could get out of the other side and assist him

 

 

 

 

He jumped down off the steps and the force of the hard ground sent a shock wave up his body, radiating up  into his shoulder

 

 

 

 

he gripped it and hissed in pain

 

 

 

" Oh are you alright Rick " Frankie was in his face again

 

 

 

he was a bit over her to be honest

 

 

 

 

"Here, let me.... " he pawed at his arm

 

 

 

 

 

" Im fine..just leave it " he snapped angrily

 

 

 

 

she stepped back, taking her hand off him, looking shocked

 

 

 

 

"Im sorry..i..I'm not used to people trying to help so much " he apologised looking at her

 

 

 

she smiled weakly

 

 

 

 

"it's ok Rick,i understand,ill try and not be so... " he trailed off

 

 

 

he smiled

 

 

 

 

"come on you two, these won't wash themselves  " Carol called from  the back of the wagon, as the others  unloaded  basket after basket  of washing

 

 

 

 

Rick felt  pretty useless with carrying anything, any time he attempted to pick up a basket Carol swatted his hand away

 

 

 

 

" NO...your shoulder is healing nicely, I don't want you doing anything that will jepodise that " she frowned

 

 

 

he rolled his eyes at her

 

 

 

"here " she shoved his clothes into his arms and put a large bar of soap on top of the pile

 

 

 

"Now shoo" she waved him off towards the stream

 

 

 

 

He stood at the bank as several other women began unloading their baskets, eyeing him and whispering

 

 

 

 

The water looked beautiful, it was so clear  Rick could see the small stones that lay on the stream floor

 

 

 

 

"so Rick what do you think ''   Franike said behind him, startling him slightly

 

 

 

 

''it's amazing ''  he smiled

 

 

 

 

'' it's our little piece of paradise  '' she beamed at the fast flowing stream

 

 

 

 

"around  that boulder is where  the stream opens up, that's where  we bath " she pointed towards the mouth of the stream

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  went and stood at the bank of the stream looking down at his boots

 

 

 

 

The children all ran into the water in their underwear squealing  and splashing each other

 

 

 

Rick smiled, he loved the sound of their laughter

 

 

 

 

He sat down  and took his boots off, dipping his toes into the cool water

 

 

 

 

 

it was a little chilly but it was so refreshing

 

 

 

 

the women all began washing the clothes, some going in  waist deep  to get the clothes wet

 

 

 

 

Rick began scrubbing  his dirty clothes, watching the blood and dirt seep out of the fabric and flow down the stream

 

 

 

 

a pain niggeld in his shoulder and he looked down at his bandages

 

 

 

 

he desperately wanted to take them off

 

 

 

he glanced towards Carol on his left  who was talking to another woman

 

 

 

 

and to his right Sherry and Frankie were chatting

 

 

 

 

he looked down at his pants

 

 

 

they needed a wash too, but he wasn't about to get butt naked in front of the women and children to  get them clean

 

 

 

 

he finished washing his clothes and stood up, stretching his sore back

 

 

 

 

he glanced at Frankie who was looking at him, a sly grin on her face

 

 

 

 

Rick averted his eyes

 

 

 

 

he walked over to carol, wet clothes in his hands

 

 

 

 

"excuse me Carol " he said softly behind her 

 

 

 

 

the two women stopped talking abruptly and turned around to face him

 

 

 

 

"umm Frankie said I could bath around the corner " he jerked his thumb to the bend in the stream

 

 

 

 

"oh of corse rick " she stood up,brushing the dirt of her dress

 

 

 

 

"Any chance I can take these damn bandages off " he looked at her hopeful

 

 

 

 

she glanced at his bandages and back up to him

 

 

 

 

"well I don't see why not, here let me help you " she said and walked over to him

 

 

 

 

she undid his clip at the back that held them to his body and began unraveling the long white bandages

 

 

 

 

he felt several sets of eyes on him as each layer was unraveled, exposing more and more tanned, toned skin

 

 

 

 

he glanced up as several women were now gawking at the two

 

 

 

 

Frankie and sherry were whispering to each other

 

 

 

 

Rick felt a hot flush rising up his neck

 

 

 

 

"feeling a little fucking exposed her Carol " he smirked at her

 

 

 

 

She stopped and looked up at  some of the women who were staring at them

 

 

 

 

 

" well..... what is this a fucking circus ?? get back to your jobs " she yelled angrily

 

 

 

 

they all turned back to their washing,giggling

 

 

 

 

"i don't know Rick..they see a handsome man and their brains turn to mush " she elbowed him in the side grinning

 

 

 

 

" handsome" he scoffed, looking at the ground

 

 

 

 

Carol smiled at him, ducking her head to catch his eyes

 

 

 

 

"yes handsome " she tucked  a stray curl behind his ear, smiling

 

 

 

 

he glanced at her, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

 

 

" you don't see what others do, do you  Rick ??  you have something special in you ..I can't put my finger on it...." she tilted her head at him

 

 

 

 

"you're not an arrogant asshole like most of the saviors..like most men us ladies have met over their years....you hold a quiet confidence, you're sensitive...you are a beautiful man Rick  " she smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick felt embarrassed and averted his eyes

 

 

 

 

"you're stronger than you give yourself credit for too , you just need to believe in yourself, you've overcome so damn much in your life Rick "

 

 

 

 

"I've done nothing " he said softly

 

 

 

 

"I've let so many people down, I've lost everyone" he felt his stomach twist in pain

 

 

 

 

Carol looked at him with such understanding in her eyes

 

 

 

 

"Rick " Frankie's annoying voice made Carol and Rick both turn around to face her

 

 

 

 

" Now, Carol, I think you've had Rick all to yourself long enough " she looked at Carol angrily

 

 

 

" Rick isn't a puppy who has to be shared around Frankie " she spat back

 

 

 

 

Ricks eyes darted between the women nervously

 

 

 

 

 

Frankie crossed her arms, pouting

 

 

 

 

Carol ignored her  and looked back at Rick, taking  the last layer of white cotton fabric from around his torso

 

 

 

 

His skin around his stitches  was still slightly black and blue, his wound was healing nicely, but still had some dried blood stuck to the skin and surrounding stitches

 

 

 

 

Carol examined his shoulder, furrowing her brows

 

 

 

"as I said, it's healing well...don't scrub it when you wash yourself though , just put some soap lather around it "

 

 

 

 

her eyes flicked up to his face  

 

 

 

 

"I think these can come out when we get back to camp this afternoon " she grinned, turning his head slightly to see his stitches

 

 

 

"Really " his eyes lit up, excited

 

 

 

 

she nodded, smiling

 

 

 

 

"that's the best damn news I've had  all  week  " he grinned back at her

 

 

 

 

Frankie made a noise in her throat behind them, arms crossed, a scowl on her face

 

 

 

 

Rick had actually forgotten she was still standing there

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick, ill show you where we bath.... or  Carol  will have you  standing here all day  " she glared at Carol

 

 

 

 

"oh it's ok, I'm sure I can find it " he said quickly, glancing at Carol for help

 

 

 

 

"I won't take no for an answer " she insisted

 

 

 

"here " she grabbed his wet clothes and thrusted them into Carol's  arms

 

 

 

 

"Carol will hang these out to dry for you, won't you Carol ?? " she grinned at her

 

 

 

 

"here " she shoved a  white towel into his arms

 

 

 

 

"oh no ..Carol ...." he protested, he could surely hang his own clothes up

 

 

 

 

"it's ok Rick, I can do it, go get scrubbed up...we'll give you your privacy..let us know when you're done" she smiled warmly, glancing at Frankie

 

 

 

 

Frankie gave Carol a dirty look and looped her arm in Rick's

 

 

 

 

he looked down at it, surprised

 

 

 

 

'' let's go Rick " she flipped her long red hair over her shoulder and pulled Rick away from Carol

 

 

 

 

He looked behind him, giving Carol a look of terror

 

 

 

 

She smirked trying to hide her laughter

 

 

 

 

Frankie led Rick downstream a little way and around the corner

 

 

 

 

the  fully tranquil, secluded area had Rick's eye widening in awe

 

 

 

"nice ay " Frankie grinned

 

 

 

rick simply nodded

 

 

 

"  Now we are finally alone... maybe...I could..help you wash''   she said softly

 

 

 

 

Rick's head whipped to the side so fast it felt like he gave  himself whiplash

 

 

 

"what ? " he said stunned

 

 

 

She looked him up and down, slyly

 

 

 

 

"come on Rick, you don't have to pretend anymore " she stepped closer toward him

 

 

 

 

his eyes were wide and he felt frozen to the spot

 

 

 

"I mean...i think i've made my intentions towards you very clear.... the whole shy thing is really sweet  Rick " she was inches apart from Rick's face

 

 

 

"I've liked you ever since that first night you came into camp " she said

 

 

 

 

Rick felt her breath on his lips

 

 

 

 

her big blue eyes staring at his own, shocked ones

 

 

 

He wasn't expecting her to be so forward

 

 

 

 

" you liked me when I  arrived in your camp...what  near death and unconscious ? '' he raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

she giggled

 

 

 

"don't be silly..you know what I meant...when we were patching you up, you were just beautiful lying there, so vulnerable, so innocent " she looked him up and down

 

 

 

 

"so why don't we get into the water together and I can..... " she looked down at his crotch, her eyes flashing back up to his

 

 

 

 

"maybe relieve some of that built-up tension I see you walking around camp with " her hand landed on Rick's crotch and he nearly choked on his own spit

 

 

 

 

"what do you say rick" she lunged at Rick as her soft lips pressed against his

 

 

 

It had been several years since he had kissed a woman. Lori was the last woman

 

 

 

 

he had paid for whores in Atlanta but he never kissed them

 

 

 

 

 

her lips were tender and soft and  tasted sweet

 

 

 

 

 

her hand fondled his dick in his pants and he couldn't stop it from reacting 

 

 

 

 

he suddenly lost himself in her lips and her touch was something he never knew he was missing

 

 

 

 

he dropped the towel in his hands and soap onto the ground  and put his good hand behind her head, pulling her deeper into the kiss

 

 

 

 

she giggled and pulled away

 

 

 

 

"come on " she smiled and pulled  her dress over her head, letting it fall to the ground

 

 

 

 

Rick couldn't help his eyes from trailing down her body

 

 

 

 

she had milky white skin, her breasts were perky and her nipples were hard, she had no underwear on and she had a small amount of hair around her pussy

 

 

 

 

Now Rick was married and he obviously loved Lori's body,a woman's body....but he also loved a mans body..one man in particular and he came into his thoughts suddenly

 

 

 

 

she ran into the stream naked, water splashing around her

 

 

 

 

 

Rick stood with a hard-on in his pants by the bank watching her swim out to the middle and tread water

 

 

 

 

 

"come on rick..don't forget the soap '' she waved to him

 

 

 

 

his brain felt like it had a swarm of bees buzzing around in there, he couldn't think...was this wrong or right..he shouldn't be thinking about Negan when he had a sexy young woman throwing herself at him right now..should he ??

 

 

 

 

he felt slightly nervous taking his pants off and he glanced over at her

 

 

 

"come on " she called

 

 

 

 

fuck it-Rick thought he could be getting off with a beautiful woman instead of being miserable back at that fucking camp with Negan fucking ignoring him..fuck him

 

 

 

 

he pulled his pants down, not caring about his dick, picked up  the soap, and walked into the water

 

 

 

 

 

it was a bit chilly as  he walked in knee deep, and stopping

 

 

 

 

Frankie was grinning at him

 

 

 

 

he dived in, letting his body be submerged in the water

 

 

 

 

he broke the  surface, feeling refreshed instantly

 

 

 

 

 

Frankie giggled and he swam over to her, his wet curls dripping down his face

 

 

 

 

she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, pushing her tongue into his mouth

 

 

 

 

he accepted and they began roaming their hands over each other's bodies

 

 

 

despite the cool water Rick's dick became erect once again as the young woman hands trailed over his back

 

 

 

 

she wrapped her legs around his waist as the floated in the water

 

 

 

 

he felt her pubic hair against the head of his erect dick and he moaned into the kiss

 

 

 

 

she pulled back,smirking

 

 

 

 

"give me the soap Rick, I want to give you something you'll never forget " she grinned

 

 

 

 

Rick took the soap from his hand and passed it to her

 

 

 

 

she swam back into the swallower water and crooked her finger to him, beckoning  him to her

 

 

 

he hesitated for a moment, seeing Negan in his mind

 

 

 

 

he swam to her, pushing him to the back of his thoughts

 

 

 

 

 

she now stood in waist deep water, her breasts showing

 

 

 

 

 

he swam up to her and stood up,  his dick just under the water

 

 

 

 

she lathered the soap in her hands, eyeing rick

 

 

 

 

Rick was getting slightly anxious with anticipation

 

 

 

 

she dipped her hands under the water, hooded eyes trained on Rick's

 

 

 

he felt her hands wrap around his erect dick and he inhaled a sharp breath

 

 

 

 

she enveloped her fingers around his dick and began  to stroke the length incredibly slow

 

 

 

 

upwards and then downwards

 

 

 

 

her hands felt warm, balmy, even underneath the cool water

 

 

 

 

 Rick bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes as her thumb brushed over the slit of his dick, squeezing around the head of the veiny flesh

 

 

 

 

"do you like that Rick  ?? " she purred

 

 

 

 

Rick couldn't seem to be able to form any words at that point in time

 

 

 

her hands were like fucking magic, better than his own

 

 

 

 

"don't loose that feeling Rick " she said and he opened his eyes as she lathered more soap onto  her hands, her eyes never leaving Rick's

 

 

 

 

it probably wasn't the best place for a handjob..in the water..but he wasn't about to fucking say that, he was already too far gone

 

 

 

 

 

his head was spinning as she took his length back both hands now

 

 

 

 

 

 his hands were frozen at his side and he closed his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

her hands pulled on Rick's dick making him see stars behind his  eyelids

 

 

 

 

"fuck " Rick breathed out

 

 

 

 

"you going to come for me Rick " she asked, a dirty tone in her sweet voice

 

 

 

 

Rick suddenly saw Negan behind his closed eyelids,a smirk on his face as he felt Frankies thumb run over his slit once more

 

 

 

all he could do was nod like an idiot

 

 

 

 

"I'm soo close" he moaned out 

 

 

 

 

she laid her lips on him in a sensual kiss, as she twisted her wrist

 

 

 

 

 

 

he imagined Negan was there in front of him, stroking him to orgasm, kissing him passionately

 

 

 

 

 

 

all the shit that had happened in the past few days and weeks seemed to disappear, flowing out of his body into the stream like liquid

 

 

 

 

"tell me you want me Rick " she purred in his ear

 

 

 

 

 

He would have told her anything at that point in time, just hoping she wouldn't stop

 

 

 

 

 

he was so close... he needed it so bad..he needed Negan 

 

 

 

 

his eyes flashed open and he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

what the fuck was wrong with him ???

 

 

 

"I'm coming" he yelled,not being able to stop himself

 

 

 

"shhh " she giggled

 

 

 

she stroked his length faster as the friction was driving Rick insane and he felt that burning feeling creeping up his body

 

 

 

"  fuck " he yelled and came into her hand, his body jerking uncontrollably in her arms

 

 

 

he felt the warm cum shooting out into  her hand and being swept away by the slow current

 

 

 

he lay his head on her shoulder, riding down his orgasm

 

 

 

she laughed tenderly

 

 

 

"well Rick ..how was that  ?? " she said quietly

 

 

 

he lifted his head and looked at her

 

 

 

 

something in her eyes didnt feel right at that moment

 

 

 

 

 

 he shouldn't have done that..with the others just around the corner...but it wasn't that..he shouldn't have done that with HER

 

 

 

 

he furrowed her brows and pulled back from her slightly

 

 

 

she looked at him and furrowed her brows

 

 

 

" what " she said slightly put off

 

 

 

 

" I..I.... we shouldn't have done that " he said looking at her worried

 

 

 

 

her face softened and she cupped the sides of his face with her hands

 

 

 

 

"oh Rick, it's ok honey..i wanted to...... " she looked down into the water at his now limp dick

 

 

 

 

he felt disgusting like he had taken advantage of her, he was thinking about Negan the whole time..he was jerking him off, getting him off, making him cun, making him shake violently into orgasm

 

 

 

he took a step back in the water

 

 

 

 

"maybe we should just wash and get out of here yeh ?? the  others will be wondering where we are " he glanced at her and  saw the  soap now floating beside them

 

 

 

she tilted her head at him

 

 

 

" When we get back to camp..maybe you could return the favor " she smiled a sly smile

 

 

 

Rick looked at her and smiled weakly

 

 

 

he grabbed the soap and looked at her

 

 

 

 

"I'd enjoy it, Rick,i liked your tongue in my mouth.. i'd like it licking my pussy " she smiled

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to her

 

 

 

 

how could such things come out of such a sweet mouth  ? 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt uncomfortable

 

 

 

 

it's not like he never gave Lori cunnilingus, he enjoyed it, but something didnt feel right, and somehow for reasons beyond Rick's comprehension, Negan came into his thoughts

 

 

 

"you're amazing " he smiled weakly trying to not freak her or himself out

 

 

 

 

why the fuck was Negan coming into his thoughts when he had a beautiful young woman throwing herself at Rick and why did he feel guilty like he had just cheated on both him and Lori ??

 

 

 

"let's see what happens " he smiled at her, internally screaming -get me the fuck out of here

 

 

 

"let's wash up " he looked at her

 

 

 

she didnt look too convinced for a second

 

 

 

 Rick panicked like she would run and tell the entire camp that he rejected her..that he preferred Negan's dick up his ass, pounding him into the bed than her advances

 

 

 

 

he swallowed a large lump in his throat and grabbed the back of her head, pressing his lips to hers and pulling back, smiling his best fakes smile, a little devious grin put into it for show

 

 

 

 

"come on " he splashed water at her playfully and she laughed

 

 

 

 

Frankie left the water and lay on the towel she gave Rick on the bank, naked, while Rick made sure he washed himself

 

 

 

 

 

his mind was spinning around like a child's toy top..there had to be something wrong with him right ??

 

 

 

 

when he was done and feeling fresh  he glanced toward the bank

 

 

 

 

Frankie's body was shining in the sun, now completely dry, she was looked like something out of any normal  heterosexuals wet dream ..he should be throwing himself at her, but he didnt want to

 

 

 

he felt strange and a little uneasy as he walked out of the water

 

 

 

 

she opened her eyes and smiled, covering the sun from her face with her hand

 

 

 

 

'' oh your finished " her eyes trailed down his naked body

 

 

 

 

his jaw twitched and he felt sick in his stomach, wanting desperately to put some clothes on

 

 

 

 

she ogled him for another second and sat up

 

 

 

 

"oh here..." she stood up, giving him a  peck on the lips quickly, handing him the towel which was wet from her lying on it

 

 

 

 he quickly wrapped it around his waist, feeling somewhat more comfortable

 

 

 

he glanced down at his pants he wanted to wash before he let himself get carried away by someone he couldn't even look in the eyes now

 

 

 

"I need to wash these..we got a little..... " he trailed off looking at the stream

 

 

 

she giggled and he turned back to her

 

 

 

she picked up her discarded dress and put it back on

 

 

 

 

"come on " she held out her hand

 

 

 

 

he looked at it and back up to her, dumbly

 

 

 

 

"oh come on " she laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him back toward the ladies and children who would most probably be finished by now

 

 

 

 

as they approached the ladies, he felt a tugging in his gut like he wanted to run in the opposite direction

 

 

 

 

The women were relaxing on the bank, makeshift  lines of clothes hung up between trees , blowing in the breeze that had suddenly picked up

 

 

 

 

Carol looked up and her eyes fell to the pairs hands  held together and she glanced up at Rick

 

 

 

 

he quickly pulled his hand away from Frankie's and she gave him a hurt look

 

 

 

 

"Sorry to hold you up ladies..Frankie was..." he stilled, not being able to think of the words he wanted to say

 

 

 

Carol furrowed her brows at him and stood up

 

 

 

 

"keeping me company :" he smiled

 

 

 

 

Frankie looked at him and smiled, looking at Carol

 

 

 

 

"yeh..yeh ,i was giving him a hand " she smirked

 

 

 

 

Rick suddenly began choking on his own spit, as Frankie patted him on the back, laughing

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at her

 

 

 

 

He guessed she didnt want to play the game of being  slightly  discreet like Rick did

 

 

 

 

Carol raised an eyebrow at Rick like a judging mother and Rick looked away from her

 

 

 

 

"that's fine...Rick.... your clothes are dry, I suggest you dress while the ladies and I are down bathing" she gave him a stern look

 

 

 

 

"Frankie " she glared at the younger woman

 

 

 

 

 

" you can load all the laundry up, seen as you decided to skip  the washing part" she spat

 

 

 

 

Frankie's mouth was open, but Carol didnt wait for a reply

 

 

 

 

"come on kids..ladies.. let's not waste any more sunlight..there looks like a storm brewing " she called, over her shoulder

 

 

 

 

she didnt give either Rick or Frankie another glance as the kids all came running out of the water, following Carol

 

 

 

 

Frankie walked straight over to sherry and they began whispering

 

 

 

 

Rick felt his ears burning as the women all walked past him, giving him knowing looks

 

 

 

 

he tried his best to smile at them

 

 

 

 

he heard sherry and Frankie giggling and he glanced at them, feeling like a fucking fool

 

 

 

 

was this a fucking joke to them ???

 

 

 

 

sherry and Frankie separated as Frankie went over to the lines of now dry washing the ladies had erected in their absence

 

 

 

 

Sherry walked past Rick and gave him a smirk, disappearing down stream behind the boulder with the others

 

 

 

 

Rick had never been more ashamed and  embarrassed in all his adult life

 

 

 

he glared at Frankie as she had her back to him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

The only reason you would be thinking about Negan while a beautiful woman gives you a hand job Rick is .....you might kinda like him a little bit 😍

Chapter 30

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

One last woman was standing next to her with a basket in her hands as Frankie took various dresses and children's clothes off the line, putting them in the basket

 

 

 

they spoke briefly and  she turned and came Rick's way

 

 

 

 

She looked him up and down with a very disapproving expression on her face and walked downstream with the basket in her hands

 

 

 

 

Rick stormed over to  Frankie  who  was unpegging the clothes and putting them into baskets at her feet

 

 

 

"what the fuck did you say to her ??  " he snapped, referring to the last woman who had given him a disgusting look

 

 

 

she spun around, a look of surprise on her face

 

 

 

"who ?? ''

 

 

" the old wench who just  looked at me like I just killed her fucking puppy or something  " he spat, jerking his finger over his shoulder

 

 

 

 

Frankie glanced downstream

 

 

 

 

"oh Bertha..she always looks like that " she smirked

 

 

 

"she really needs to get laid...don't worry about her " she turned her back to him and continued unpegging the clothes

 

 

 

"I got strange looks from them all including sherry ..what did you say to her  ? " he snapped

 

 

 

 

"Just girls talk Rick " Frankie shrugged

 

 

 

" so what ??  you just come back here and tell her everything ? '' he raised his voice feeling fucking annoyed

 

 

 

 

"i wouldn't say everything Rick " she said

 

 

 

"I just said I really like you..which she already knew  and we had a really long...talk  " she turned her head to him, smiling

 

 

 

 

 Rick knew she was lying, but let it go

 

 

 

 

"do you need a hand ??  " he gestured to the clothes,face softening slightly

 

 

 

 

" no'' she said and turned around a smirk on her face

 

 

 

 

 

" I mean I did give you one.....but  " she winked at him

 

 

 

 

he felt his face go hot and his eyes widened

 

 

 

 

she laughed

 

 

 

 

" but no it's ok....Carol seems to have a stick up her ass  .. I'd better do it myself " she said somewhat bitterly

 

 

 


 Rick looked down at the wet pants he held in his hand, that  he washed after they had fun in the water

 

 

 

 

'' oh..they won't dry in time,youll have to dry them back at camp '' Frankie said like she knew what Rick was thinking

 

 

 

 

he glanced up at her and she was smiling at him

 

 

 

 

"Are you sure I can't help you ?? .. I mean it was kinda my fault you didnt  help wash the clothes " he  averted his eyes to the  ground

 

 

 

 

" dont be silly Rick ... I would  rather be doing what we did than washing any day  anyway   '' she looked him up and down

 

 

 

 

" like I said...I enjoyed it" she stepped into his space

 

 

 

 

" and I look forward  getting more..acquainted later, back at camp " she placed a soft kiss on his lips, stepping back

 

 

 


 Rick felt a strange tugging in his chest

 

 

 

how the fuck was he going to get out of this ??

 

 

 

 

he smiled weakly at her and looked down at the towel wrapped around his waist

 

 

 

 

"id better change .." he looked at the clothes on the line and spied his, on their own small line

 

 

 

 

" well I wouldn't care if you walked around camp like  that, to be honest " Frankie smirked

 

 

 

 

Rick ignored her and went over to the line pulling his clothes off, making a pile at his feet 

 

 

 

 

"and I'm sure a lot of the other ladies would agree with me " she glanced at him

 

 

 

he glanced at her

 

 

 

 

"yeh I'm sure the men would fucking love it too..Merle would have a field day with me..asshole " he mumbled

 

 

 

she laughed 

 

 

 

 

he bent over to pick  up  his pile of clothes and Frankie came up behind him, pinching him on the bum

 

 

 

 

he nearly jumped ten feet into the air

 

 

 

 

" hey '' he said slightly angry

 

 

 

 

"what..you have a nice ass " she laughed turning back to the washing

 

 

 

 

'' I'll go change over at the wagon ''  he glanced at her and walked away over to the wagon

 

 

 

 

"oh come on..don't get on me shy now Rick..I mean, i have seen it all  " she smiled as she watched him walk over to the wagon

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and went and stood behind the wagon to save some  dignity he may have had left

 

 

 

 

"oh you tease " she called out from behind the wagon

 

 

 

 

Rick removed the towel and put his clean underwear on and pulled on some clean pants, and a shirt

 

 

 

he felt brand new

 

 

 

 

he came out from behind the wagon and Frankie had surprisingly almost finished  taking the  rows of clothes down off the lines and had folded them neatly into the nearby baskets

 

 

 

"wow your fast ''  Rick said

 

 

 

she turned around and a  smile spread across her face

 

 

 

" well..... dont you scrub up alright deputy..I never thought id say it..but you look even better with clothes on than you do stark naked "

 

 

 

Rick felt that bloody blush rising up his neck again..he didnt know how to take compliments

 

 

 

 

"Not that that's a damn bad sight either " she grinned

 

 

 

he rubbed the back of his neck, blushing

 

 

 

"looks like Carol was right, there's a storm rolling in " she pointed across the stream

 

 

 

 

he followed her gaze and saw a group of  grey clouds in the distance, heading their way

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

with much protest from Frankie, Rick helped her carry the baskets over to the wagon where they were all lined up, ready to get loaded onto the back 

 

 

 

 his shoulder was now killing him..he should have listened to Carol

 

 

 

he walked down to the stream bank and picked up his boots

 

 

 

 

a loud rumble echoed in the distance

 

 

 

 

he looked up and the grey clouds now looked black and menacing

 

 

 

 

Rick began to get a little anxious, they should get moving soon

 

 

 

 he heard voices coming from downstream and  saw Sophia and some of the children, freshly washed and in clean looking clothes, laughing and squealing with excitement

 

 

 

"Rick ....Rick " she squealed

 

 

 

he stood up straight, smiling at her 

 

 

 

 

"look what we  caught  " she yelled running towards him,holding something in her hands

 

 

 

 

as she came closer Rick could see it was a  large fish, a trout by the looks of it

 

 

 

"Woah what a beauty " Rick said to her enthusiastically

 

 

 

 

"  We caught it all by ourselves " she squealed jumping up and down in front of Rick, while the other children grouped around him, giggled at it

 

 

 

 

"well I bet the other saviors didnt catch anything as  big  as that when they went hunting today  " he smiled

 

 

 

 

he saw the women coming from  around the boulder out of the corner of his eye and glanced at them

 

 

 

" does anyone know how to de-scale it ? ''  Rick asked the children

 

 

 

They all  looked at him curiously and shook their  heads

 

 

 

 

 

"well ill have to teach you...you need to  get his insides out too" he smirked at them

 

 

 

 

"ewww " they all squealed, screwing  up their faces

 

 

 

Rick laughed out loud

 

 

 

 

"Rick..good to see you with some clothes on  " carol walked past him, smirking

 

 

 

 

 

he looked down at himself and smiled back at her

 

 

 

 

"hey ..looks like you were right.... there's a storm building " he pointed towards the dark menacing looking clouds

 

 

 

 

Carol glanced at them

 

 

 

 

"yes, we'll have to get a move on  now or we will get caught in it " she looked over at Frankie who  was loading the  last basket in the back of the wagon

 

 

 

 

"good job " Carol said  to her firmly

 

 

 

 

 

"if everyone is ready..we will need to leave now ladies " she called out, walking towards the horses

 

 

 

 

 

Rick took one last look at the beautiful stream and glanced up at the clouds

 

 

 

 

 

a shiver ran  down his spine as a loud rumbled of thunder rang in his ears

 

 

 

 

"  looks like youll be riding back with me and sherry  "  Frankies voice startled Rick, slightly

 

 

 

Rick looked at her, he really didnt like the idea of another 1 hour trip with her, but he didnt have any other choice, Carol wouldn't let him ride one of the horses  yet

 

 

 

 

"I think I'll ride back in the wagon with Rick this time Frankie..sherry has already agreed to ride my horse with you..Sophia will come with me " Carol walked up to them both

 

 

 

 

Frankie furrowed her brows

 

 

 

 

"well actually Rick and I wanted to ride back together" she glanced at rick

 

 

 

 

Carol looked at him

 

 

 

"well i .. I dont really mind who I ride with " he darted his eyes between the women, feeling their eyes boring into him

 

 

 

 

"well it's settled  then...ill ride with him  " she said before Frankie could protest

 

 

 

 

she pouted and crossed her arms like a spoilt brat

 

 

 

 

"you can have  Rick all to yourself when we get back to camp..dont worry,im sure he's not going to be giving an  old lady like me another glance " she smiled at Frankie

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows..Carol wasn't old.... she was his age

 

 

 

 

Frankie seemed happy with her response anyway and smiled, flicking her hair over her shoulder and walking away

 

 

 

"ok" she beamed at Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick looked stupidly at Carol

 

 

 

 

" saddle up ladies ...come on Sophia, we are riding in the wagon " she waved  Sophia over, who was still carrying the fish proudly like it was her pet

 

 

 

 

the ladies all assembled like a well knit corps in the Civil war and mounted their horses at lightning speed

 

 

 

"come on Rick " Carol called who was already up in the driver's seat of the wagon, with Sophia next to her, grinning broadly at Rick

 

 

 

he blinked dumbly and with his boots still in his hand he walked over to the wagon 

 

 

 

"is your shoulder ok to get up ? '' she asked

 

 

 

he simply nodded and climbed the 2 steps up into the seat

 

 

 

his shoulder pulled and he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

Carol glanced at him and he gave her a weak smile

 

 

 

 

Carol looked around one last time, making sure everyone was accounted for and on horses

 

 

 

she  flicked the reins and the horses began walking

 

 

 

 

The loud rumbled of thunder gave rick a start, it sounded a lot louder than previously and he was slightly worried they weren't going to make it back to camp in time

 

 

 

 

Notes:

will the group make it back to camp in time ??

 

something is brewing....more than a storm

Chapter 31

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They rode in silence for a few minutes, as Rick stared out at the scenery, slowly going by

 

 

the other women all rode close by, chatting to each other

 

 

 

"you know Rick..Frankie..she.. " Carol began

 

 

 

Rick glanced at her

 

 

 

"shes  young  and impressional '' she glanced at Rick

 

 

 

Rick looked behind him in the back of the wagon, Sophia  had her back to them, talking to her fish

 

 

 

he looked  back at Carol

 

 

 

"just say to Carol" he sighed feeling a lecture coming on

 

 

 

 

"I'm not saying anything Rick..I'm not your keeper, it's just she is .. let's just say, she is popular amongst the men" she looked away

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

"what the hell that's supposed to mean ? ''

 

 

 

he thought he knew what she was getting at

 

 

 

she glanced back at him and turned to look at Sophia, making sure she wasn't listening in on their conversation 

 

 

 

 

"she like the camp bicycle Rick..everyone had a ride ..if you get my drift " she looked  towards the horses she was leading

 

 

 

Rick's mouth was slightly open

 

 

 

 

he didnt expect her to put it that way

 

 

 

 

he assumed Frankie was popular with the men, but she didnt assume she would be giving it out to all the men

 

 

 

his ego took a slight beating..he actually believed all her compliments

 

 

 

she looked back at him

 

 

 

"Did I shock you ? ''

 

 

 

Rick blinked

 

 

 

"yeh a little" he smiled 

 

 

 

carol smirked

 

 

 

"I'm sorry Rick.. I just had to warn you before you got in any deeper, I can see she likes you" she smiled

 

 

 

"well, it sounds like she likes a lot of men..so " he shrugged feeling a little foolish

 

 

 

"oh Rick, I didnt mean it like that..just be careful yeh " she smiled

 

 

 

" meaning  ? ''

 

 

she was silent

 

 

"well..... she and Negan have an on-again,off-again thing going on ..I wouldn't want you two to butt heads over a woman..I mean you two seem to be at each other's throats as it is" she glanced at him

 

 

 

 

"I heard the way he spoke to you his morning.." she added

 

 

 

 

 

Rick scoffed, thinking about what an asshole Negan was to him that morning

 

 

 

 

 

"i mean he's never been grumpy for  this long before " she said

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her

 

 

 

"well, I'm assuming it's because of me being there..I mean he must be getting shit from his men about having a lawman in camp" he shrugged

 

 

Carol was silent

 

 

"It was his choice to bring you there Rick, not yours..don't you ever feel you're to blame, do you understand me  ?? " she said firmly

 

 

 

he looked at her, surprised

 

 

 

"do you ??  " she repeated

 

 

 

 

he simply nodded

 

 

 

 

they fell into a comfortable silence as  Rick listened to Sophia talking to her fish and he smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick only just noticed that none of the women had weapons on them, not even a rifle..what would happen if they ever ran into trouble ??

 

 

 

"Why don't any of you carry guns...I mean you travel out here what ???  a few times a month.....you said with no men...what would happen if you run into trouble? '' he asked 

 

 

 

'' well we've never seen any need for them....we've never run into  any trouble  before  " she simply shrugged

 

 

 

"But, there's always a chance, I mean these hills could be crawling with gangs just waiting to prey on a group of unarmed women and children " he felt a strange feeling in his chest and thought of Lori and Carl 

 

 

 

" Some men...... it's all they think of..preying on innocent people " his lip curled up in the corner, now  thinking about Shane

 

 

 

carol was silent

 

 

 

" I mean, we were minding our own business when we were prayed upon..." he spat

 

 

 

 

"and you ..a man, were there with a weapon and you still lost your family" carol pointed out

 

 

 

 

Rick flashed his head to her

 

 

 

"I mean, you had weapons and you still lost your loved ones..it didnt make a difference that you had weapons, they didnt help, they didnt stop the horrible turn of events from happening  Rick " she looked at him

 

 

 

he understood what she was saying

 

 

 

 

"still.... be good to have a shotgun out here " he eyed  the high hills surrounding them

 

 

 

 

suddenly  a loud   crack of lightning lit up the sky behind them, making the dark sky look like the day

 

 

 

 "mummy " Sophia yelled in fright

 

 

 

she  jumped in the driver's seat with Rick and Carol

 

 

 

"mummy " she clung to her mother

 

 

 

 

"Hey..... it's ok " Rick said softly to her

 

 

 

 

she glanced at him, frightened

 

 

 

 

"we may have to stop and find shelter  .. I don't think we will beat this storm I'm afraid " Carol looked behind her and back at Rick, concerned

 

 

 

 A sudden gust of wind blew their hair around

 

 

 

 

"Mary " she yelled to the woman closest to her above the wind

 

 

 

she   turned her head

 

 

 

" We will need to take shelter, head towards the caves we stayed in  last time " she yelled 

 

 

 

 

the woman nodded her head, holding onto her hat that was about to blow away

 

 

 

 

"Everyone, follow Mary to the caves" she yelled

 

 

 

 

 

all the women looked back to her and kicked their spurs into the horses and  began running off in front of the wagon

 

 

 

 

" hold on Sophia honey "  Carol yelled  to Sophia, whipping the horses

 

 

 

 

Rick  was jerked back in the seat as the horses got startled and began running after the others at high speed

 

 

 

 

"where are we going ?? " Rick yelled above all the noise of the sudden fast approaching storm

 

 

 

 

'' We stayed in a cave near here  the last time we were caught out, it's big enough for everyone, including the horses '' she yelled

 

 

 

A loud crack of thunder echoed in their ears like it was right next to the wagon and Rick's heart almost exploded in fright

 

 

 

 

Sophia  grabbed Rick around the waist burying  her head into his side

 

 

 

 

he put his arm around her

 

 

 

 

"it's ok.." he said softly

 

 

 

 

He felt light raindrops on his face as they raced towards a large opening in the mountains that surrounded them

 

 

 

 

he couldn't believe the storm had crept up on them so damn fast

 

 

 

 

a bolt of lightning  struck the ground just to the side of them, startling the horses slightly

 

 

 

 

"Jesus fuck " Rick yelled out 

 

 

 

 

"hold on " Carol yelled as they neared the cave

 

 

 

 

the others were nowhere in sight, Rick assumed they had already reached the caves

 

 

 

 

it began to rain  and Sophia yelled out in fear

 

 

 

 

Rick held her tighter, glancing at Carol 

 

 

 

 

Carol was a woman on a mission, her eyes trained to the front, her face stern with concentration

 

 

 

 

another loud clap of thunder had Rick's heart jumping in his chest  and he closed his eyes tightly

 

 

 

 

 

"whoa..whoa " Carol yelled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick opened his eyes and saw they had entered the cave 

 

 

 

 

 

Carol pulled  on the reins hard, stopping the  frightened horses

 

 

 

 

 

they came to a hard stop, nearly making Rick fall right out of the seat

 

 

 

 

 

a loud crack of thunder seem to rattle the cave and sent a shiver up Rick's spine

 

 

 

 

he was wet and cold now

 

 

 

 

he looked down at Sophia who still had her head buried in his side

 

 

 

"hey..hey " he said softly

 

 

 

she looked up at him,frightened

 

 

 

 

"were safe now " he smiled down at her

 

 

 

 

Carol put her arm around her

 

 

 

" look we are in the cave we stayed in last time..do you remember how much fun we had ?? "' Carol said looking fondly down at her 

 

 

 

 

she looked around stunned and smiled

 

 

 

 

"Are you ok " a woman stood by Carol's  side of the wagon, looking concerned

 

 

 

 

"yes..yes..is everyone alright ?? " she asked

 

 

 

 

the woman nodded

 

 

 

 

 

" the horses ?? ''

 

 

 

"yes they are all ok " she glanced at Rick

 

 

 

 

"ok..... well, I think well be here for  a while" she said, turning and looking at the  heavy rain now  falling at the opening  of the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick turned in his seat and looked

 

 

 

 

it was raining  extremely heavy now, he was glad they had taken cover

 

 

 

 

the wind blew and the thunder rumbled  above them as Rick stepped down off the wagon

 

 

 

 

Sophia followed her mother and Rick went and stood at the opening of the cave,  hands on his hips

 

 

 

 

he blinked quickly as the lightening turned the black sky bright

 

 

 

 

"looks like we will be here for the  night " Frankie's voice startled Rick and he spun around

 

 

 

 

 

"what ??..thought  we were  just waiting out the storm ? '' he furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

 

" well it's getting late, we were losing the light anyway..now with the storm, we'll have to wait here at least another hour I'd say for it to pass......the ladies have agreed to stay here for the night, head off first thing in the morning when its light " she shrugged

 

 

 

 

Rick looked behind her at a group of women standing in a circle,looking like they were having a very serious conversation

 

 

 

he didnt feel safe here with no weapons, now the night was falling ,he suddenly wished they were back at the godforsaken camp with the other saviors

 

 

 

"don't look so worried Rick " she smiled

 

 

 

he looked at her, concerned, feeling anxious

 

 

 

 

she walked back over to the woman and Carol walked over to him

 

 

 

 

"did Frankie tell you ??  it looks like you're stuck in here with us ladies all night " she smiled

 

 

 

 

he looked at her with a worried expression on his face

 

 

 

 

"oh don't look so petrified, we aren't that bad " she laughed

 

 

 

 

"it's not that " he turned to look at the rain and the wind blowing outside, the surrounding mountains now not visible by the rain pelting down

 

 

 

 

"well what is it ? " she asked him

 

 

 

Rick had a bad feeling in his gut, one that never failed him

 

 

 

 

"nothing " he lied, not turning from the opening of the cave

 

 

 

 

 

"good " she patted him on the back

 

 

 

 

"there's still some sticks we made  a fire from last time back here, we'll get another one   started and cook that fish Sophia and the kids caught..they will be tickled pink to know they were responsible for us no starving tonight " she laughed

 

 

 

Rick was silent, staring at the rain

 

 

 

something in the back of his head was telling him this was a bad idea 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the wind howled outside, the sky had turned black and Rick assumed it was now night time and not just black from the storm clouds

 

 

 

the fire was burning brightly, the horses were in the back of the cave settled  in for the night, the woman had laid some of the clothes out as makeshift beds  and Rick was sitting around the fire showing the children how to clean the fish for cooking

 

 

 

 

 

they were all sitting around him, giving him their full attention, eyes drawn to him as he spoke

 

 

 

 

 

He used the knife he always had on him to take the guts and bones out of the fish

 

 

 

 

 

"eewwww " the kids all yelled and sat back, disgusted

 

 

 

 

some of the women giggled at them as Carol smiled warmly

 

 

 

 

the rain  eased and the thunder and lightning seemed to get further away from them as the entire cave ate supper

 

 

 

 

the cave seemed more relaxed now, as everyone got into  small groups and chatted around the fire

 

 

 

 

Rick would kill for some whiskey as he crossed his legs at the ankles, palms flat on the ground, leaning back slightly, staring into the fire

 

 

 

 

the crackling of the fire and the sun today was making him sleepy, as his eyes began to close

 

 

 

 

" Rick " Carol spoke

 

 

 

 

Rick opened his eyes wide and looked up at her

 

 

 

"sorry " she smiled down at him

 

 

 

 

"The kids are ready for bed...the rain has stopped ....do you think you could come out and help me gather some more wood for the fire..it will be cold during the night and we weren't really prepared for staying out overnight" she frowned, motioning to the little warm things they had

 

 

 

 

"yeah sure " Rick yawned and stood up

 

 

 

 

"Sophia, you be a good girl and do as Mary tells you ok " she said sternly to Sophia who was sitting with her friends

 

 

 

 

 

"yes Mumma " she smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled at her and followed Carol to the opening of the cave

 

 

 

 

 

the full moon was out and the sky was now filled with stars

 

 

 

 

 

a cool breeze seemed to go right through Rick's body making him shiver

 

 

 

 

Carol looked at him

 

 

 

 

" we'll have to make do with the moon  for light im afraid " she looked up to the sky

 

 

 

 

"I know where the sticks are , we won't be long " she looked back to the group in the cave,furowing her brows

 

 

 

 

Rick followed her gaze, feeling her concern

 

 

 

 

" hey come on '' he put a hand on her shoulder

 

 

 

 

" they'll be fine " he smiled warmly

 

 

 

she looked at him, slightly concerned and smiled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt like he was stumbling around in the dark with his eyes closed, blindfolded

 

 

 

 

 

he tripped over several rocks, and tree stumps and conveniently ran his wounded shoulder directly into  several tree trucks

 

 

 

 

"fucking hell, fuck " he yelled in pain

 

 

 

 

"Are you ok " Carol called from somewhere beside him

 

 

 

" next time you ladies go out to do the washing, bring a fucking lantern with ya   " he snapped, feeling the shooting pain radiating across his chest

 

 

 

 

"yeh..good idea" she mumbled

 

 

 

 

the moonlight was doing jack shit  for helping Rick locate any kind of sticks or wood for burning and he was getting fucking cold

 

 

 

 

" You sure this is the place..?? I can't see a fucking thing " he called out to Carol

 

 

 

 

"well  we did collect them at sunset, so it  wasn't as dark as this last time..but I'm sure it was in this general area " she said, unconvincing

 

 

 

 

 

rick sighed loudly

 

 

 

he wished he was in that bloody tent back at  camp right about now, with a couple of opium and the full  bottle of whiskey Negan had given him to keep him warm

 

 

 

 

his thoughts turned to Negan and he wondered if they had returned from hunting yet ??

 

 

 

 

Did they notice the women were not back yet ?? they had to have.... right ??

 

 

 

 

Maybe they would come looking for them ??

 

 

 

 

"do you think Negan will send out a search party for us  ? '' he asked Carol, hopeful

 

 

 

 

 

"I doubt it, we've been a day late before..he didnt like it of corse, but I told him to stop worrying so much " her voice sounded far way

 

 

 

 

 

" but he's always been very protective of us ladies and the  children "

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled to himself..Negan did have a good heart underneath all that assholeness, really

 

 

 

 

"he's a good man, although he doesn't show it much... I think he feels the need to act like nothing affects him  in front of the men so they respect him more  "

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes in the  direction of her voice

 

 

 

 

"where the hell are you ??  " he spat

 

 

 

 

she laughed and he followed her sound

 

 

 

 

" here..look I told you I knew where we were " she said excitably

 

 

 

 

 

Rick saw her bending down, picking up sticks and he smiled

 

 

 

 

"..never doubted you for a second Carol " he smiled and began grabbing sticks and piling them into his arms

 

 

 

 

the sudden sound of a shotgun in the distance made Rick physically drop his bundle of sticks to the ground, his heart racing

 

 

 

 

"what the fuck was that ? '' he said, startled

 

 

 

 

 

Carol was silent

 

 

 

 

"Sophia " she said, fear in her voice

 

 

 

 

without another word between them, they began running back through the bush,  towards the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart was pounding in his ears as he felt sharp whips to his face from  running into tree branches

 

 

 

 

 

he couldn't see anything let alone Carol

 

 

 

 

 

"Carol " he yelled, slightly panicked

 

 

 

 

 

he tripped over something on the ground and put his hands out in front of him to stop his fall

 

 

 

 

a sudden agonising pain shot through both his palms and he yelled out in fright and agony

 

 

 

 

"fucking hell,fuck " he screamed, standing up

 

 

 

 

 

"what......what's wrong " Carol's voice was somewhere in front of him

 

 

 

 

"it's nothing, I just tripped...will you fucking just hold up  a minute " he spat

 

 

 

 

" that gunshot......Sophia " she said with a strained tone in her voice

 

 

 

"hey..hey now we don't know that was anything to do with the girls..it could have just been a hunter " he tried to sound convincing, but  internally, he  knew something was wrong

 

 

 

 

he grabbed at her hand and squeezed it tightly

 

 

 

 

"come on, let's do this together " he said slowly

 

 

 

 

Carol said nothing and squeezed his hand

 

 

 

 

they began to walk   hand in hand back towards the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick let Carol lead the way cause he didnt has a clue where he was going or if they were going in the right direction of the cave

 

 

 

 

his heart was thumping through his chest 

 

 

 

 

 they finally  came out of the  dark bush, and the moonlight gave a welcoming hint of light

 

 

 

 

" look there it is " Carol pointed towards the cave

 

 

 

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes and saw the  cave

 

 

 

 

 the faint light from the fire burning made small shadows on the rocks

 

 

 

two horses were tied up outside and he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"your face " Carol gasped

 

 

 

He glanced at her

 

 

 

 

"Jesus rick..I'm sorry " she grabbed his face in both hands, looking at him concerned

 

 

 

 

"don't worry about that now...who the fuck is that ?? '' he jerked his head out of  her hands, glaring at the two unknown horses

 

 

 

Carol looked away from him

 

 

 

" could be saviors " she said

 

 

 

"they know where the cave is..maybe Negan did send out a search party after all ? "

 

 

 

"well, what was that gunshot ?? ''  Rick narrowed his eyes at the cave

 

 

 

 

 

"maybe they chased away a coyote "

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh I'm not buying that...come on" he grabbed her hand again and now they could see slightly better, they began running towards the cave

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart was literally  in his mouth

 

 

 

 

they slowed when they got closer and heard men's mumbled voices and women crying and screaming

 

 

 

 

"Sophia "  she whispered, frantic

 

 

 

 

Carol went to run inside, but Rick held he back

 

 

 

 

"What ? '' she said, glaring back at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

"let's just think about this for a second..we have no fucking weapons and they have at least two shotguns in there ''

 

 

 

 

"how do you know ? ''

 

 

 

 

" both saddles have shotgun scabbards on them  " he jerked his head towards the saddles on the horses, where each had a leather bound case that hung on the saddles for the use of storing shotguns

 

 

 

 

 

a woman's scream and cries drew their eyes into the cave

 

 

 

 

 

"We have to do something..the kids.... " she said wide eyed

 

 

 

 

"you stay here, ill deal with these assholes...I have this " he pulled his knife from his pocket and held up

 

 

 

 

 

Carol almost laughed out loud

 

 

 

 

 

"what are you going to do with that little thing ? '' she said, a worried look on her face

 

 

 

 

"Trust me..... it does the job " he glanced down at the scars on his wrists, glancing back up at her

 

 

 

 

" No, you can't go in there alone..I can .." she began,grabbing his shoulder

 

 

 

 

"NO" he raised his voice

 

 

 

 

they both looked into the cave, hoping no one heard him

 

 

 

 

"  I will do this alone..you need to stay here " he furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

 

" No Rick, you can't you might be killed "she looked terrified

 

 

 

 

the men laughed obnoxiously in the cave as women's screams and sobs  echoed through the air

 

 

 

 

"I'm not arguing..ill be fine..as long as you and the  kids are safe, I don't care what happens to me" he  said looking into the cave

 

 

 

" Rick.. I " she began 

 

 

 

he stood up and so did Carol, grabbing his forearm

 

 

 

 

"Please..don't do this " she pleaded

 

 

 

 

"and what..let these fucks continue whatever the fuck they are doing in there ??  " he spat in her face

 

 

 

 

he   pulled  his arm free and she grabbed at him again

 

 

 

 

" Rick ..just wait please... " she said concerned

 

 

 

 

he grabbed both her shoulder and looked directly into her eyes

 

 

 

 

" Stay here,i'll be fine..I've been in worst situations, with a shitload more men against me in the past and come out of it ok " he narrowed his eyes at her

 

 

 

 

without another word he entered the cave and walked in, hiding around the corner

 

 

 

 

 

he looked back at Carol who was peering around the corner outside

 

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows and waved his hand for her to get back, angrily

 

 

 

 

 

she gave him a scowl and disappeared back behind the rocks

 

 

 

 

 

the noise in the cave grew louder the deeper Rick got and his gut twisted at the sounds of the women sobbing and screaming

 

 

 

 

he took one more step and stuck his head around the corner, gingerly

 

 

 

 

two men had their backs to Rick, standing in front of the fire, sherry was at one's feet on her knees, naked and crying

 

 

 

 

the other women were all huddled in the corner, gripping the children in their arms, crying and hiding their faces

 

 

 

 

Rick's hands clenched into fists and his lip curled up at the side... what did these bastards think they were doing harassing a bunch of women and children ??

 

 

 

 

" Now all this fine ass whore has to do is open her mouth for Dan here and all you other ladies will be just fine " one man spoke

 

 

 

 

 

the man who Sherry was sitting by grabbed her hair  and pushed her head into  his crotch, laughing

 

 

 

 

 she sobbed and pushed off his pants with her hands

 

 

 

 

 

he slapped her around the face and she fell to the ground, sobbing

 

 

 

 

"Leave her alone " Frankie yelled from the group of women in the corner, tears streaming down her face

 

 

 

 

"you shut your mouth you filthy whore " the other man stormed over to her and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her to her feet and dragging her over to sherry,  throwing her on the ground

 

 

 

 

the other women all sobbed and pulled the children closer to them, as the man kicked Frankie in the ribs

 

 

 

 

she cried out in pain

 

 

 

 

Rick began shaking in anger

 

 

 

 

He pulled the knife out of his pants and looked at it, palms sweating

 

 

 

 

It was the knife he had gotten from his civil war days and now  used  it when he overdosed on opium to cut himself

 

 

 

 

he glanced down at the scars on his wrist as his shirt sleeve slipped down slightly and narrowed his eyes at them

 

 

 

 

a  heart wrenching scream came from Frankie and  Rick looked up

 

 

 

 

the man was now ripping her clothes off as she tried to cover herself up  with her hands

 

 

 

 

he slapped her across the face hard, and she fell to the ground sobbing

 

 

 

 

"Please stop " one of the women in the corner yelled, crying

 

 

 

 

"you shut up bitch or ill use one of the kids instead ''  he pointed his shotgun at her

 

 

 

 

she gripped the children harder and buried her head into their small heads

 

 

 

 

Rick's throat became extremely dry and he couldn't swallow

 

 

 

 

 

the man next to Sherry put his shotgun down and bent over her naked body, spreading her legs apart, and began undoing his pants, laughing

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widened..he was frozen to the spot, he couldn't move, and a cold sweat ran up his body

 

 

 

 

 

sherry  jerked her knee up into his crotch and he fell back on his back, howling in pain, grabbing his dick

 

 

 

 

 

the man next to him who had Frankie under him looked over slightly surprised  and began laughing obnoxiously

 

 

 

 

 

" control your whore will ya Dan " he laughed and continued to rip at Frankies clothes

 

 

 

 

Rick was paralysed,he couldn't move, his brain was screaming at him to fucking move, but he couldn't..the faces of Lori and Carl replaced Frankie and Sherry's and he simply stared at them, feeling physically sick

 

 

 

 

the man who got his dick kneed, got to his feet  and grabbed his shotgun from the ground  and hit her in the face with the end

 

 

 

 

"you fucking bitch " he spat down at her

 

 

 

 

she screamed in pain holding her face, blood pouring out all over the ground and her hands

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt a niggling sensation  in the  stitches on his face and he suddenly shook his head out of his stupor, feeling pure fury  running through his veins

 

 

 

 

Frankie was screaming as the man above her spread her legs open and slapped her across the face, throwing her head to the side

 

 

 

 

 

Sherry screamed as the man got back on top of her, leering down at her bloody face

 

 

 

 

 

"ill make you really scream in a minute whore " he yelled in her face

 

 

 

 

Rick tightened his grip on the knife handle, making his fingers turn white, and stormed over to the men

 

 

 

 

 

the women in the corner looked up,shocked,tears in their eyes

 

 

 

 

Rick loomed over the man on Sherry, one leg on each side of his back, and grabbed a fist full of his hair, pulling his head back, exposing his neck

 

 

 

 

 

Rick saw  utter horror and surprise in the man's eyes before he slide the sharp blade along his  jugular, making one quick  motion from one side to the  other

 

 

 

 

Sherry screamed as blood splashed all  over her face and she scrambled back on her hands

 

 

 

 

the man made a gurgling noise, grabbing at his throat, unable to move

 

 

 

 

the man behind him on Frankie looked up in shock

 

 

 

 

 

"what the fuck !!  " he yelled

 

 

 

 

he  scrambled to his feet pulling his pants back up, holding them with his hand at the waist and reached  for his shotgun

 

 

 

 

" Rick " sherry yelled pointing, behind him

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt even turn as he glanced down at the shotgun by sherry

 

 

 

he hooked his boot toe under the shotgun and kicked it up into the air, catching it in one hand, spinning around, and aiming the end of the barrel  at the man behind him, who froze mid bend

 

 

 

 

" funs over asshole " he growled like a wild dog, baring his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

the man looked absolutely caught off guard

 

 

 

 

 

 the man behind him, facing sherry fell to the ground with a loud thud and several women over in the corner screamed

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes didnt leave the son of a bitch in front  of him as Frankie crawled off to the side, crying into the arms of the women

 

 

 

 

" who the fuck are you ?? you just killed Dan " he yelled still bent over, his hand hovering over the shotgun

 

 

 

 

"who the fuck are you ??  " Rick roared, taking a step closer to the man, his voice echoing in the cave 

 

 

 

 

'' You think it's okay to come in here and fucking rape women, treat them like  fucking whores.. there are god damn kids in here you filthy son of a bitch " he yelled spitting saliva from his mouth and stepping closer

 

 

 

 

the man's eyes were wide with fear and he glanced down at his shotgun

 

 

 

 

 

Rick followed his gaze down to the shotgun and flicked his eyes back up to him

 

 

 

 

 

an unnerving smirk swept across his face and the man furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

 

"come on friend....there's plenty of them to go around.. " he began speaking softly to Rick  and stood up straight, one hand slightly in the air, one still holding his pants up 

 

 

 

 

 

" hey..hey ....Why don't we just share yeh..you can take her and I can take her " he motioned to Frankie, naked and crying in the women's arms

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at her and back at the man  and narrowed his eyes

 

 

 

 

this prick was just like Shane, going around thinking he  can just take what he wanted  from people, women, children

 

 

 

 

Something in Rick's eyes made the man shut his mouth tight and he glanced at the women, worried

 

 

 

 

"Dont you  fucking look at them you motherfucker " Rick roared, visibly shaking the shotgun while aiming it at the man

 

 

 

 

 

the man's head flashed back to Rick as did the women on the ground

 

 

 

 

"youre a  disgusting fucking animal to think  I would ever  treat  a woman like this " he motioned to sherry, naked behind him, covering herself up best she could

 

 

 

 

the man's jaw twitched

 

 

 

 

"why .. what's the problem...don't ya like women or something ? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

Rick's face twitched 

 

 

 

 

"no man would give up the opportunity to fuck these beautiful women..unless they prefer a dick up their ass '' he said vulgarity

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes twitched over the barrel of the shotgun

 

 

 

 

"is that it friend huh..you prefer a cold hard dick up your ass, rather  than sticking your cock   into a  warm pussy " he smirked

 

 

 

 

" you're fucking  raping them " Rick spat, ignoring his words

 

 

 

 

 

" she was begging me for it...weren't  ya honey " he winked at Frankie

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt even  flinch when he pulled the trigger of the shotgun, blowing a large hole in the man's crotch

 

 

 

 

" aarhhhhgghh........you fucking.... fucking mother fucking..I'm going to fucking kill you " he howled, falling to his knees

 

 

 

 

the women  all screamed and cried in the corner, covering the children's faces from the scene in front of them

 

 

 

 

 

The man howled  in agony like a wounded animal on his knees, blood spilling from his crotch as he held it with both hands, his face red and strained, eyes filled with tears 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  walked over to the man and kicked the shotgun away from his reach

 

 

 

 

he knelt down to the man's level and spun his knife in his hands

 

 

 

 

 

he ducked his head to catch the man's half opened eyes, blood coming out of his mouth

 

 

 

 

" I was weak once...I let someone take everything from me... and it began much like this night started for you " he spoke calmly

 

 

 

 

the man's head hung down and Rick narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

 

he stuck the knife under his chin, poking the sharp tip of the blade into his chin, making him raise his head

 

 

 

 

Rick's blazing blue eyes connected with the man's  brown ones

 

 

 

 

 

"I let them die because I wasn't strong enough..I was fucking weak.." he gritted his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

the man's eyes widened in fear as Rick's eyes turned dark, swirling with malice

 

 

 

 

 

" but one man changed my whole life, I'm not vulnerable anymore..I'm fucking damaged " he smirked

 

 

 

 

"you're fucking crazy " the man yelled in his face

 

 

 

 

'' Maybe " Rick said eerily 

 

 

 

 

without warning, he jammed the knife into the man's stomach

 

 

 

 

the man let out a howl of pain and his whole body fell  forward  onto rick's, his head on his shoulder

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes and thought about Lori and Carl and how they weren't given a choice and twisted the knife into his guts, deeper

 

 

 

 

the man made a strange noise like the air was leaving his lungs and Rick dragged the blade upwards, digging it into his flesh as hard as he could

 

 

 

 

 

the man's mouth hung open on Rick's shoulder as he slide the blade up to his torso and stopped just under his throat

 

 

 

 

the man grabbed at Rick weakly  as he stood up

 

 

 

 

 Rick pushed him  in the chest with his boot and  he fell onto his back into the dirt

 

 

 

 

he  looked down at the  pathetic man who lay on the ground in front of him, bleeding out

 

 

 

 

the  large gaping wound in  his penis was just a mass of blood and flesh

 

 

 

Rick's half lidded eyes trailed up  his torso where he had a   gaping wound  from his stomach to his throat, his insides on the outside

 

 

 

 

 the man's eyes were barely open,  as Rick loomed over him  

 

 

 

He looked at the knife in his hand filled with blood and flesh, dripping down his wrist and over the sleeve of his shirt

 

 

 

 

he knelt down and tilted his head at the man on the ground

 

 

 

 

his eyes were closed now and blood was coming out of his mouth, but he was still making a desperate effort to breath

 

 

 

 

As if he had forgotten the women were watching on, horrified, he brought the knife down into the man's chest over and over again, frantic like

 

 

 

 

his shoulder pulled in agony, his cut palm felt like splinters from the knife blade were pushing deeper and deeper into his flesh, his wet curls hung in his eyes, but all he could see was red

 

 

 

 

He had to make sure this fuck was dead

 

 

 

 

he took all his frustration out on him, stabbing him over and over, blood flicking up into his face each time he withdrew it from his flesh

 

 

 

 

his heart was racing, his whole body was screaming at him, and all he could hear was a strange ringing  in his ears

 

 

 

 

 

he kept stabbing the son of a bitch until suddenly he heard his name being called from his left

 

 

 

 

he turned his head, teeth bared like a wild animal, shaking uncontrollably

 

 

 

it was Carol

 

 

 

- when did she get there ?? -

 

 

 

 

 

he stopped mid stab, knife held just above the man's body and blinked, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

 

"RICK ENOUGH '' she yelled

 

 

 

Rick looked dumbly at her like she was insane for telling him to stop

 

 

 

she came up to him, very cautiously with a concerned look spread across her face and put her hand timidly over his shaking one, holding the knife

 

 

 

 

'' its ok Rick, we are all safe now...you protected us" she spoke to him like  she was talking to a small child

 

 

 

 

she glanced down at the man's body

 

 

 

 

Rick followed her gaze

 

 

 

 

the man's body below him no longer resembled a human being

 

 

 

 

it was now just a pile of flesh, with large lacerations stabbed into it, blood was everywhere

 

 

 

 the man's face  also had stab marks all over it, his eyes were no longer visible, but were  caved in holes filled with dark black blood and flesh

 

 

 

 

Rick's stomach turned upside down

 

 

 

 

dead bodies were nothing new to him, hed seen  worse  in the war, but he had actually done this himself, with his own two hands

 

 

 

 

he glanced up at the women and children huddled in the corner

 

 

 

 

their eyes filled with fear as the children sobbed, their faces  covered by the ladies

 

 

 

 

 the full impact of what he had done suddenly overcame him and he tasted  bile rising up his throat

 

 

 

 

he dropped the bloody knife on top of the body  and stood up so fast he nearly tripped backward

 

 

 

 

 he  turned around just in time so as not to spray vomit all over carol

 

 

 

he hurled his guts up, violently, as he leaned  on the cave wall with one hand,trying to hold himself up

 

 

 

 

he felt a hand on his shoulder, soothing like

 

 

 

he stopped vomiting and stood up, feeling Carol's  presence near him

 

 

 

"i..Imm " he began

 

 

 

 

"Rick ...are you ok ? '' she asked

 

 

 

 

"I..I just need a minute " he pushed her hand off his shoulder and practically ran out of the cave, out into the cool night air

 

 

 

he got as far as the men's horse and he fell to the ground on all fours, uncontrollably  shaking

 

 

 

he couldn't breathe, his lungs felt like they were filling with water

 

 

 

 

he closed his eyes shut tightly as the ground seemed to be swallowing him

 

 

 

 

his whole body was in agony and the smell of blood had him dry heaving, body shaking 

 

 

 

 

he fell onto his back, looking up at the stars that filled the sky

 

 

 

he felt tears in his eyes and began sobbing, uncontrollably

 

 

 

everything flowed back into his mind Lori, Carl, Hershel, all the pain and blood he'd witnessed

 

 

 

what he had been through with Shane, the agonizing pain, cutting into his skin, shredding his flesh, the smell of his own blood

 

 

 

he gripped at  his shoulder as a sharp tugging feeling ran through his bones

 

 

 

he sobbed as his body convulsed like he was being shaken

 

 

 

 

he held his bloody hands in front of his face up in the air, staring at them through tears

 

 

 

his sobs became slower and less intense as he just lay there silent staring up at the sky

 

 

 

now dripping with sweat,the cool air made him shiver and he sat up, holding his head in his hands

 

 

 

 

he had a pounding headache from all that crying

 

 

 

 

hed kill for some opium right about now

 

 

 

 

he glanced toward the horses and narrowed his  eyes at the saddlebags that hung on the saddles

 

 

 

 

maybe these fucks had some booze ??

 

 

 

he stood up, brushing his blood stained , sweaty curls back off his face, and walked over to the horses

 

 

 

they flinched at his closeness

 

 

 

he eyed them and looked at the saddlebags and  began rummaging through them

 

 

 

he found some tobacco, a brush, picket pins, horse shoes, dried jerky, and some water

 

 

 

nothing of use to him 

 

 

no alcohol or pills

 

 

 

he threw the items on the  ground and screamed, startling the horses

 

 

 

"fuck" he yelled, clenching his hands into fists, looking up to the sky

 

 

 

he  felt fucking frustrated, anger boiling in his gut

 

 

 

he  stormed over the hard rock that made up the cave's outer  walls and began punching his fist into it, angrily

 

 

 

he roared like an animal possessed as he punched the sharp rocks, feeling his skin being cut to shred by their sharp edges

 

 

 

his curls fell on his face and he bared his teeth, he wanted to feel something..anything..pain

 

 

 

" RICK '' Carol screamed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Raining here in Oz today= no work for me = productive damn day writing 😁😁

Chapter Text

Rick stopped punching the rocks and placed his palms flat on the wall, hanging his head between his shoulders, breathing heavy

 

 

 

" what the fuck are you doing ?? " she asked, worried

 

 

 

" the kids ok  ?? " he ignored her question

 

 

 

Carol was silent

 

 

 

he glanced at her

 

 

 

" is everyone ok ??  " he spat

 

 

 

she nodded

 

 

 

" thanks to you "

 

 

 

he turned back to the wall

 

 

 

she was silent and stared at him

 

 

 

he felt her eyes on him and he furrowed his brows toward the wall

 

 

 

"What ? '' he snapped at her

 

 

 

 

"are you ok..I mean what happened in there...." she glanced back inside the cave

 

 

 

"I'm fine" he snapped

 

 

 

 

she glanced at his knuckles, they were bloody

 

 

 

 

"We don't have to talk about what happened in there, but I won't take your shit about me seeing to these " she pointed to his knuckles

 

 

 

 

he glanced at them

 

 

 

 

'' I'll be back  " she said and disappeared back into the cave

 

 

 

 

he turned around looking at the horses and sank to the ground, his back to the wall, knees drawn up, elbows slung over them

 

 

 

 

he stared out into the distance, the surrounding mountains were dark

 

 

 

 

  his eyes became heavy and they began to  close

 

 

 

 

he jerked awake when he felt something touch his leg

 

 

 

 

  Carol  was kneeling beside  him, with some  rags  and  a canteen of water in her hand

 

 

 

 

she spilled some onto one of the rags, which looked like a  piece of clothing, which  she had ripped up into long pieces

 

 

 

 

"no..we should save it "  he motioned, referring to the water

 

 

 

 

"you can't see yourself '' she looked up to his face

 

 

 

 

'' they can'' she  handed him the wet rag

 

 

 

 

 

he looked at her and felt a pain of guilt in his gut..not about killing those bastards

 

 

 

 

 

but He shouldn't have done what he did  in front of the children

 

 

 

 

 

he  ran the wet rag over his face, the cuts from the tree branches stung  when the water hit them and he hissed

 

 

 

 

she looked at him

 

 

 

"  Daryl will have some ointment for those when we get back to camp, he makes it himself from various roots and flowers " she smiled, looking over his face

 

 

 

 

Rick held the now bloody rag in his hand, staring into the distance again, feeling exhuaghstd

 

 

 

 

she looked down at his knuckles

 

 

 

 

" Why did you do this to yourself Rick ??  " she asked him, concerned

 

 

 

 

he was silent

 

 

 

 

she took both his hands in hers  and turned them over, looking at the wounds that he sustained in the bush

 

 

 

 

" These don't look too  deep, it looks like you  fell onto rocks " she furrowed her brows at them

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes were so heavy he just wanted to go to sleep

 

 

 

 

she began wrapping  both his hands in some clean rags, glancing at him

 

 

 

 

''  We will need to get the bodies out of there " she said softly

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked slowly, his eyes burning as he looked over at her 

 

 

 

 

her eyes were filled with concern and sadness

 

 

 

 

-the fucking bodies were still lying in there where everyone was sitting..the kids looking at them

 

 

 

 

" fuck '' he said abruptly  and stood up fast

 

 

 

 

Carol stood up too, slightly surprised

 

 

 

 

the blood rushed to his head and he stumbled forward 

 

 

 

 

Carol caught him and  he pushed her arms away  from his angrily

 

 

 

"ill get rid of them " he said

 

 

 

"ill help you "

 

 

 

"NO" he said spat

 

 

 

 

she backed away from him slightly

 

 

 

 

"you'll need a hand, they look like heavy men and  you've cut your hands up  badly...you're exhausted Rick " she looked down at his wrapped hands

 

 

 

 

"it'll be fine.." he said quickly

 

 

 

 

"no Rick.. " she raised her voice at him

 

 

 

 

"  we will get rid of the bodies together, you've done enough for all of us  tonight, I'm not letting you do  that alone" she said angrily

 

 

 

Rick  looked at his boots

 

 

 

'' you hear me ?? " she yelled 

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

"those women in there are fucking petrified by what just happened, sherry needs stitches, Frankie is fucking traumatised and the children don't understand what the hell happened..and me.." she looked away, her voice cracking, tears in her eyes

 

 

 

 

'' Thye are all looking to me for support..but I....can't hold everything together all the time '' she began crying

 

 

 

 

" We need to help each other  Rick ok, I can't do this without you..I can't do this all by myself '' she  began sobbing into her hands

 

 

 

 

 

he narrowed his eyes at her

 

 

 

 

"I'm here with you..I may have checked out back there for a bit..but " he grabbed her and hugged her as she sobbed into his chest

 

 

 

 

he sighed loudly

 

 

 

 

''im sorry, I took it too far..I just saw Shane in the bastards and I wanted them dead, you didn't need to see that" he closed his eyes listening to her cries

 

 

 

 

'' I'm so sorry '' he repeated

 

 

 

 

she pulled off him, sniffing, shaking her head

 

 

 

 

" I would have done the same thing Rick" she looked up at him

 

 

 

 

" those women in there, the children  they are my family..my everything..every single one of them " she sniffed

 

 

 

 

'' I don't know what I would have done  if one of them was hurt in there tonight....you saved them.......my daughter " she smiled, wiping a tear from her face

 

 

 

 

"those mongrels deserved everything they got in there .. I'd hate to imagine what would have happened if you hadn't been travelling with us...sherry and Frankie.." she trailed off, looking upset

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

 

"it's ok.. .its over now  " he said softly

 

 

 

 

she nodded and straightened herself up, fixing her hair

 

 

 

 

 

"let's get this done and try and get some rest.... we'll head off at first light. Sherry's face will be fine until then.... if she keeps pressure on it " she added

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at his boots, not too enthusiastic about going back into the cave and getting the bodies

 

 

 

 

 

" you with me Rick  ?? " she ducked her head to  catch  his eyes

 

 

 

 

he looked up at her and simply nodded

 

 

 

 

" ok.. let's do this " she inhaled a deep breath and   walked  into the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt want to go  back in there

 

 

 

 

 

he couldn't look at the women's  faces, silently judging him for his actions

 

 

 

 

the children's little faces 

 

 

 

 

he sighed looking up to the night sky, hands on his hips..why the fuck did bad shit just follow him around like a fucking shadow ?? when would he catch a fucking break ??

 

 

 

 

he looked back towards the cave and walked in, his heart pounding in his ears

 

 

 

 

 

 the soft voices of the women talking amongst themselves,filled the cave

 

 

 

 

 

They all went silent when Carol and Rick walked in

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes landed on  Frankie and Sherry amongst the women 

 

 

 

 

Frankie had her head buried in Sherry's shoulder, still sobbing softly

 

 

 

 

 

 

sherry had a bloody bandage wrapped around her head, covering her cheek

 

 

 

 

 

 

with bruises already forming over her entire face and ripped clothes

 

 

 

 

 

he assumed Frankie's face would look the same

 

 

 

 

 

Rick swallowed a dry lump down his throat, as bad memories came flooding back from what Shane did to his own face

 

 

 

 

 Sherry gave him a sympathetic look

 

 

 

 

 when Rick looked down at   the two bodies laying on the ground by the dwindling fire he stopped, frozen to the spot

 

 

 

 

they were now covered in some dresses from the ladies' washing, most likely to hide them from the children

 

 

 

 

he stood motionless, looking at the blood seeping out from underneath the men, mixing with the dirt on the cave floor

 

 

 

 

"Rick " Carol's soft voice called to him 

 

 

 

 

he turned his head to her, but his eyes didnt leave the body in front of him 

 

 

 

"Rick "she said louder

 

 

 

he looked at her

 

 

 

 

she was knelt down next to the man he killed first, the one who attacked Sherry

 

 

 

 

 

she gave him a knowing look and jerked her head to come over

 

 

 

 

he blinked from his stupor and walked over to the man's body, standing over it

 

 

 

 

he felt like everyone was watching him

 

 

 

 

he looked over at the women

 

 

 

 

they were all looking at him, some with utter horror on their  faces and some with confusion

 

 

 

 

" Rick  " Carol said more sternly

 

 

 

 

Rick looked  down at  her 

 

 

 

 

she was now  knelt down  at his feet

 

 

 

 

he bent down slowly

 

 

 

" I think it will be easier to drag him out  of here, rather than carry him..he's pretty heavy " she whispered in his ear

 

 

 

 

" on 3..ok " she glanced at him

 

 

 

 

he simply nodded, looking at the man's lifeless body

 

 

 

 

"1,2,3" Carol whispered

 

 

 

 

they  lifted the large man's boots and began pulling him out of the cave

 

 

 

 

 the  man was literally dead weight and Rick was struggling, losing his strength due to exhaustion

 

 

 

 

" you good ??  " Carol asked through gritted teeth

 

 

 

"yeh " Rick lied

 

 

 

 

 his whole body ached 

 

 

 

 

they finally reached the mouth of the cave and Carol and Rick dropped the man's feet like he was made of lead

 

 

 

 

they both fell back on their asses, catching their breaths

 

 

 

 

 

after a minute carol looked at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

"We can't leave them here.." she looked around

 

 

 

 

 

"We can load them on the back of teh horses and take them back into the bush " she suggested

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt like screaming and he sighed loudly

 

 

 

 

"don't think I'm giving these fucks a proper burial as well " he spat

 

 

 

 

 

" they are getting better treatment than they deserve right now...I'm not digging a fucking hole to bury them in either  " Carol spat

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her strangely

 

 

 

 

"what " she snapped

 

 

 

 

"nothing " he pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine coming on

 

 

 

 

"nothing.. let's just get this done yeh..... cause  I'm fucking exhausted " he sighed

 

 

 

 

 

They walked back in to get  the last body, blood was seeping through the clothes covering him and when they picked up his feet to drag him, a large pool of blood and flesh was underneath him

 

 

 

 

  The migraine pounding in his head made him feel nauseous and he almost vomited from the sight

 

 

 

 

"you good ? '' Carol whispered

 

 

 

 

Rick  said nothing and began pulling the large man's feet

 

 

 

 

some of the women gasped as the man was moved, trailing a line of blood and flesh behind his body

 

 

 

 

Rick averted his eyes and walked backwards out to the horses

 

 

 

 

this prick was even heavier than the last one and Rick's shoulder was in agony

 

 

 

 

he gritted his teeth as he pulled the dead weight out of the cave

 

 

 

 

They both collapsed again when they reached the opening, sitting down, breathing heavily

 

 

 

 

" I'm so tired " Carol said softly, her face drained of color

 

 

 

 

" We could leave the pricks here till sunrise..take them over to the bush before anyone wakes " he suggested feeling like he couldn't even stand up, let alone lift these  fat fucks up and onto the horse saddles

 

 

 

 

"and what if one of the children wakes before we do and walks out and sees this " she motioned to the men angrily

 

 

 

 

 

" was just a suggestion...fuck " Rick spat angrily

 

 

 

 

"Carol " sherry's weak voice startled them both

 

 

 

 

she stood at the opening of the cave, looking like she'd just been caught up  in a tornado

 

 

 

 

he hair was messy and loose and hung over her eyes, the bandage of ripped rags had  blood  seeping through it, her clothes were ripped and her face  was pale and sunken in

 

 

 

 

"Sherry honey..what are you doing out here ??  " Carol said concerned, standing up and going over to her, standing between   her and the bodies

 

 

 

 

" I..I want to help " she barely whispered

 

 

 

 

Rick's mouth opened

 

 

 

 

"oh no sweetheart you don't have to do that..you've been through enough for one night..Rick and I can do this..you go on  back it there with  the others " she said softly, putting her hands on her shoulders, trying to turn her around

 

 

 

"Please.. " she said softly

 

 

 

Carol furrowed her brows at her

 

 

 

"no sherry ...you don't have to "

 

 

 

" NO" she yelled suddenly

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her concerned

 

 

 

 

"Please I have to..I have to..please let me " she said strangely

 

 

 

 

Carol turned to Rick, a worried look on her face

 

 

 

 

"sherry honey " Carol began

 

 

 

 

"CAROL PLEASE, just let me do this ok " she gritted her teeth at the older woman

 

 

 

 

"if she wants to Carol.....just let her do it ..we could use a hand lifting these...men..... might bring her some closure " he pinched the bridge of his nose again, squeezing it tightly as the throbbing in his head got worse 

 

 

 

 

Carol looked at him and back at sherry

 

 

 

 

" ok " she said firmly, her lips pressed tightly together

 

 

 

 

Just as Rick stood up to lift the men into the saddles, some of the women appeared at the cave opening

 

 

 

 

"what..what are you all doing out here ? '' Carol said in surprise

 

 

 

 

 

"We want to help " they looked between Carol and Rick

 

 

 

 

Carol's face was filled with concern

 

 

 

 

 

"Please..Rick has done  so much for Sherry and Frankie tonight..us, the  kids " one said looking at Rick, giving him a weak smile

 

 

 

 

 

" you two are exhausted " she took Carol's hand in her, smiling at her warmly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt a real sense of family and loyalty in this group of women..... these women were all saviors.....murdering, robbing, disgusting, outlaws or they were perceived to be

 

 

 

 

like  Rick had perceived them to be

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at Carol

 

 

 

 

she sighed looking at the women and nodded her head, finally giving in to extra  help

 

 

 

 

 

they all rallied together and got the two men on top of the horse, slung over the saddles like carcasses

 

 

 

 

 

''  Jesus.." Rick  exhaled, feeling his muscles pull, rubbing his shoulder

 

 

 

 

 

" well take them over to the bush and ride the horses back here..we won't be long " Carol said to the women 

 

 

 

they all exchanged looks

 

 

 

 

"use the shotgun if anything else happens, we'll  be as fast as we can.. go on go.. you've helped us immensely ladies, thank you" she pushed them all back into the cave

 

 

 

 

they all walked back into the cave, turning around occasionally to look back, until only Sherry stood at the opening, her clinging  around her chest, staring at nothing

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart broke for her, she looked like he did when Lori and Carl died

 

 

 

 

lost,broken..damaged

 

 

 

 

 

"Sherry go on..look after Frankie, she needs you  "  Carol said softly

 

 

 

 

Frankie blinked and looked at her without any emotion

 

 

 

 

 

Carol turned back to Rick, giving him a look as she took one of the horse's reins in her hand and began to lead it away from the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick could feel her eyes on him and he glanced at her

 

 

 

 

" Thank you Rick...for  everything " she said in a monotone voice

 

 

 

 

Before Rick could say anything, she disappeared into the cave

 

 

 

 

 

"Rick " Carol called behind him

 

 

 

Rick looked at her and took the reins of the remaining horse in his hand and followed Carol towards the bush

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent as they  walked under the moonlight

 

 

 

 

it was freezing and his head was pounding, making him feel sick in the guts, he stared at the ground moving beneath his boots

 

 

 

 

 

"This will do " Carol's voice started Rick from his daze

 

 

 

 

 

he looked up from the ground, They were at the edge of the bush already

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick didnt protest at Carol's spot to dump these sick fucks, he was too tired to give a fuck if they were exposed or not right now

 

 

 

 

 

they pushed the bodies off the saddles one by one, as the horses flinched at the weight being dropped at their hooves

 

 

 

 

they dragged the bodies away from the horses and into the bush a few feet

 

 

 

 

the sound of  crunching leaves and snapping sticks under their feet suddenly made an owl fly out of a nearby tree, making Rick's heart jump in his throat

 

 

 

 

his hand began to shake..he was getting withdrawals

 

 

 

 

 

not now he told himself

 

 

 

 

'' ill grab those sticks for the fire, they should be dry enough now after that storm, then we can get the hell out of here "  Carol said off to his side

 

 

 

 

" do  we really need them right fucking now ... ?   " Rick snapped, overtired and angry

 

 

 

 

" This place gives me the fucking creeps ''  he shivered as he eyed the tall trees surrounding them

 

 

 

 

the branches looked like hands with long thin fingers, reaching down on him

 

 

 

 

" Just leave them for fucks sake " he spat

 

 

 

 

" Oh,ok ...I guess we'll all just fucking freeze to death then,  yeh ??  " she snapped

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her, not being able to see her face in the darkness, but he could picture it, stern and angry

 

 

 

 

" I'm sorry..I'm just......." he pinched the bridge of his nose, with a shaking hand

 

 

 

 

 

"I need my opium..my migraine " he trailed off as his brain was literally throbbing against his skull

 

 

 

 

" NO ..I'm sorry " Carol began

 

 

 

 

 

"it's just  been a very long day...but I've got to get  wood for the fire before we go back "

 

 

 

 

she bent down and began gathering sticks and  anything she could find to keep the fire burning in the cave

 

 

 

 

Rick couldn't see a thing  and he wished to god they would get out of here, his shoulder and knuckles were beginning to hurt badly, along with everything else

 

 

 

 

" Come on " Carol  finally said, sounding just as tired as Rick

 

 

 

 

they went back the few feet to the horses and came out into the moonlight

 

 

 

 

Carol abruptly let the pile of sticks drop to the ground and Rick furrowed his brows at her

 

 

 

 

"What are you doing ? '' he asked, one eyebrow raised

 

 

 

 

she was silent as she bent over one of the dead men and began undoing his shirt buttons

 

 

 

 

Rick was getting slightly concerned

 

 

 

 she ripped it off the larger man's body and began wrapping the bundle of sticks in his bloody shirt to carry them back to the cave more easier

 

 

 

 

She loaded the bundle onto the saddle  of the horse nearest to her, pulling the rope to secure it around the horse's girth

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced down at the two dead men by his feet and his lip curled up

 

 

 

 

"come on...we can ride back together  " Carol said

 

 

 

 

Rick spat on both bodies and kicked some loose dirt from the bush floor over them with his boot

 

 

 

 

 

"  fuckers " he whispered and turned back to the horses

 

 

 

 

Carol had turned both horses   around to face the cave, holding onto their reins, her back to him

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt say anything and climbed up  into the saddle,  Carol followed him, sitting behind him, lead of the other  horse  in her hand 

 

 

 

Rick kicked the horse in the side with his boot and they began a slow steady trot back to the cave

 

 

 

 

Carol had her hands wrapped around Rick's waist, her head on the back of his shoulder blades

 

 

 

 

 

the feeling was welcoming and warm..something he had been missing for years out on the land alone..

 

 

 

 

 

it wasn't about sex for Rick it was more about the touch and companionship

 

 

 

 

 

 

he never let on but he loved the feeling of someone curled up next to him, or behind him in this case..his eyes became heavy at the warmth on his back, the hands around his waist

 

 

 

 

Rick was startled when the horse came to a jolt and Carol slid off the back

 

 

 

 

"did you fall asleep ? '' she asked looking up at him

 

 

 

 

"yeh..must of " he rubbed his eyes

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at the cave, he didnt want to go back in there

 

 

 

 

his gut twisted as he  followed Carol back into the cave, leading the two horses behind them

 

 

 

 

some women were still awake sitting by the dim fire

 

 

 

 

the children all looked like they were asleep with some of the women, including Sherry and Frankie

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled at them, they all looked like angels sleeping, so peaceful 

 

 

 

 

"Rick " Carol whispered

 

 

 

 

Rick looked over at her 

 

 

 

 

" put the horses with the others for the night, and ill try and revive this fire " she said taking the bundle of sticks down off the saddle and unwrapping them on the ground

 

 

 

 

He glanced at the women by the fire as he passed them, huddled together, wrapped in some sort of blanket from the washing

 

 

 

 

he went into the back of the cave where the other horses were standing for the night and took off the newest additions saddles, running a hand down their quarters

 

 

 

 

'' there that's better " he soothed one of the horses, as he ran his hand along its strong neck

 

 

 

 

He walked back to the fire which Carol had expertly got stoked again, the woman was amazing !!

 

 

 

 

he  stood looking down at the shotguns the men had had in their possession

 

 

 

 

He couldn't let anything like what happened that night, happen again

 

 

 

 

he had let Lori and Carl down, he couldn't protect them

 

 

 

 

he felt a sudden twinge, of the need to protect these people

 

 

 

 

he had to defend these women and children

 

 

 

 

"ill take watch for the night " he blurted out, glancing at Carol

 

 

 

 

her face  filled with shock

 

 

 

 

she glanced at the other women around the fire and back at him

 

 

 

 

"No rick, you're exhausted..come and sit down, get warm for a while " she motioned to the spot beside her

 

 

 

 

 

Rick bent down and picked up the shotgun, looking into the chamber at how many cartridges he had left

 

 

 

 

 

"I'll be fine..you get some rest, ill rest tomorrow on the ride home" he said flatly, his brain screaming at him for sleep

 

 

 

 

" Now Rick, I don't.... " she stood up and he glared at her

 

 

 

 

his tired eyes filled with anger and withdrawal, he was losing his patience quickly as he began to shake

 

 

 

 

Carol looked down at the shotgun shaking in his hands and glanced back up at him

 

 

 

 

"ok..I won't argue..but here take this "she grabbed the blanket from around the women. as they looked at her confused

 

 

 

 

" We have the fire now, we don't need this..you will or you'll catch damn pneumonia out there  " she said looking him up and down dressed in only a shirt and pants

 

 

 

 

he looked at it as she held it in front of him

 

 

 

to save any arguments he wasn't prepared to have right now, he snatched it out of her hand and walked towards the opening of the cave, where it had already gotten significantly colder

 

 

 

he stilled, his back to the women

 

 

 

"get some rest " he mumbled and disappeared outside into the cold

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Rick sat down, just at the opening of the cave

 

 

he wrapped the small cotton blanket around his shoulders, shivering

 

 

He sat crossed legged with the shotgun in his lap, head resting on the cave wall, tired eyes narrowed looking out into the darkness

 

 

he was nauseous as his migraine felt like was about to make his skull crack under the intense pressure

 

 

his  entire body was aching due to the night's strenuous activities

 

 

he was shaking and not just from the freezing cold, he needed his opium and he wished to god that daylight would come so they could head  back to camp

 

 

his stomach rumbled and twisted at the same time

 

 

he felt dizzy and closed his eyes

 

 

he forced himself to open them..he had a job to do

 

 

he had to keep watch unless any more dirty pricks decided they would prey on the people inside this cave

 

 

he gripped the shotgun in his hands, the cuts on his palms stinging, but the pain was good. pain meant you were still fucking alive

 

 

he didnt know how long he was sitting there trying to keep his eyes open

 

 

but  a dim light began  coming up behind the mountains and he actually smiled to himself

 

 

"Thank Fuck " he mumbled 

 

 

he stood up, groaning, rubbing his lower back

 

 

his  body wasn't used to sitting up against a hard wall  half the night

 

 

he was freezing and his migraine was still there, but he pushed them both  into the back of his mind and went into the cave to wake the women

 

 

he wanted to get the fuck out of here

 

 

He walked in he saw Carol, asleep by the smoldering fire

 

 

the others were asleep over in the corner with the children, much like he had  left them last night

 

 

he felt exhausted just looking at them and didnt want to wake them, they had all had a long and stressful night

 

 

his eyes were so heavy and he just wanted to curl up in a ball

 

 

he shook his head..the sooner they get back to camp the sooner he can get some opium...... and maybe some of that whiskey as well

 

 

he bent down beside Carol and shook her shoulder gently

 

 

'' Carol " he whispered

 

 

she didnt stir

 

 

he glanced at the others, who were still sleeping soundly

 

 

'' Carol " he raised his voice a Little louder and shook her harder

 

 

she sat up quickly in fright, her head whipping around to Rick

 

 

he gave her an apologetic smile

 

 

"I'm sorry.. but it's daylight " he jerked his thumb to the opening of the cave

 

 

" I don't mean to rush you all..but .. '' he detailed off

 

 

"no..no, it's ok I'm up " she said , sleepily

 

 

she sat up, taming her hair and yawning

 

 

"did you get some sleep ? '' he asked her, standing up

 

 

" a little...what about you  ?? are you ok. ??  ......you didnt freeze to death out there I see " she glanced at him up and down

 

 

"I'm fine..killer migraine..but " he glanced at the other women who were now stirring

 

 

he looked back at Carol

 

 

"ok well, ..will you start getting the horses ready to ride,and ill rouse the women and children  " she smiled weakly, rubbing sleep from her eyes

 

 

Rick liked her  attitude toward getting the fuck out of this dank, dingy cave

 

 

He didnt have to be told twice, he went straight over to the horses and began getting them ready

 

 

he brought the one carrying the wagon out of the cave first, tying it up to a tree and going back in for the others

 

 

the women and children were packing up the clothes they had used for beds into the baskets, talking amongst themselves

 

 

the mood in the cave seemed somewhat relaxed, even though he was sure the events from  the previous night were still in their minds

 

 

He looked around for Frankie and sherry

 

 

they were packing up the clothes, they didnt look up to him as he passed them

 

 

he wondered if he should say something to them, but decided it might not be the right time

 

 

he walked back over to the horses

 

 

some of the other women were  getting their own horses ready

 

 

Rick eyed them as he approached, feeling anxious

 

 

they smiled at him warmly  and didnt say anything as they saddled their horses

 

 

Rick was glad they didnt bombard him with praise for last night, he really wasn't that kind of guy who got a big head about it

 

 

and he didnt think he did anything  special.....any other man would have done the same, to protect them

 

 

he took the horses out one by one, as the women all stood outside, taking the reins in their hands

 

 

the children all sat in a small group enjoying the warm sun

 

 

The sun itself was now  high in the sky, it must be getting on Rick thought as he shaded his face from its heat

 

 

getting the horses ready took longer than Rick had expected or wanted

 

 

It was getting late by the time they had loaded everything up back in the wagon, everyone was mounted on their horses, ready to ride

 

 

Carol was back on her own horse, with Sophia sat in front of her in the saddle

 

 

Rick decided she take one shotgun and lead the group, and Rick  would be at the rear with the other shotgun

 

 

Frankie and Sherry sat in the driver's seat of the wagon, Rick sat in the very back

 

 

 he had his back to them, legs dangling over the edge, gripping the shotgun in his hands, tightly 

 

 

his eyes were narrowed, looking out for any kind of danger that could sneak up on them

 

 

his eyes were stinging by the time he felt the wagon jolt forward

 

 

he watched the ground pass by as they rode away from the cave

 

 

Rick felt physically sick from his migraine and he averted his eyes up  to the surrounding mountains

 

 

the sound of the wagon creaking was the only  sound that Rick could hear, the women weren't even talking to each other

 

 

He glanced behind him at them

 

 

Sherry had one arm around Frankie's shoulders, her head resting on Sherry's shoulder

 

 

Rick turned back around, looking at the mountains

 

 

He hoped Frankie would be ok..he had been through a similar situation and look how fucked up he was..he didnt want that to happen to her

 

 

he didnt want that sweet girl to become what he was...

 

 

he sighed  and rubbed  at his shoulder

 

 

he glanced at the rags on his knuckles, they were bloody...he was so over the smell of his own blood, it made his head spin

 

 

the saw the  sun  going down and he began to get anxious that they would be out there another night

 

 

they had no food, little water and even less warm clothes for another night out here

 

 

suddenly some of the women up ahead of them were yelling excitably

 

 

Rick spun around, hand clenched on the shotgun and saw the outskirts of the camp

 

 

thank fuck - he said in his head

 

 

He  closed his eyes, smiling to himself

 

 

the only thing he wanted to do was down some opium and go to sleep

 

 

the horse paddock was the first thing the wagon passed as Rick sat in the back, watching some horses come up to the fence interested in them

 

 

the wagon stopped abruptly and Rick hopped off, his head spinning slightly

 

 

the women were still sitting up in the driver's seat when Rick walked up to them

 

 

Frankie was asleep, as Sherry  stared at the camp, a worried look on her face

 

 

"Sherry " Rick said softly

 

 

she looked at him with fear in her eyes

 

 

"what's wrong  ?? " he furrowed his brows

 

 

she shook her head

 

 

" Hey we made it .. we're ok , your both ok now " he said, tenderly

 

 

some loud voices of  the saviors made Rick glance  towards the inner camp,  people began to gather around Carol and the other women, some looking towards Rick and the wagon

 

 

"come on ...here " he held out his hand for her

 

 

she glanced at him and back towards the camp

 

 

"what if Dwight..... " she inhaled a shaky breath

 

 

"what of Dwight won't love me anymore" she looked terrified, her eyes wide with fear

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, not understanding

 

 

" he won't love me anymore cause of this " she motioned to the bandage on her face

 

 

Rick felt his heart break

 

 

the guy had a fucking burn on   half the side of his face and she was worried about hers.... he felt like telling her this 

 

 

he sighed loudly, feeling his brain throb in his skull

 

 

" Sherry " he said firmly

 

 

she looked at him,wide eyed

 

 

"you're beautiful and no small scar will change that" he smiled

 

 

"Dwight loves you, I can see that, nothing will change that " he said as if he had known them for years

 

 

he hoped she'd believe his words and come down from the wagon

 

 

" SHERRY " someone yelled

 

 

Rick looked over, it was Dwight, his face  in shock

 

 

"come on sherry " Rick held his hand out for her

 

 

"Frankie " she shook the sleeping girl on her left on the shoulder, gently

 

 

she opened her eyes, yawning

 

 

"were here honey..were home " she smiled and kissed her forehead

 

 

"DWIGHT " she yelled, as he came running down to her

 

 

he finally took Rick's hand and descended down the 2 wagon steps

 

 

she ran over to Dwight as he fell into her arms

 

 

Rick smiled and held out his hand to help Frankie down off the wagon, she gave him a weak smile and stood up

 

 

"baby..what happened ??  " Dwight said, concerned, his hands on her face looking at the bandages

 

 

she was about to say something when he glared up at Rick who was helping Frankie down

 

 

" you fucking bastard " he gritted his teeth, standing up 

 

 

"  Dwight,no " Sherry yelled, as he came at Rick

 

 

" Did you  do this to my fucking wife huh ? '' he yelled and punched an unexpecting Rick off his ass and flew to the ground

 

 

"Dwight " Frankie yelled in shock, her hand over her mouth

 

 

Rick hit the ground with a thud, his whole body vibrating in agony

 

 

"Dwight stop it "  Sherry yelled, getting up off the ground and running over

 

 

" You fucking bastard, what the fuck happened out there..? '' he screamed in Rick's face

 

 

Rick  could have explained it to him, if he wasn't smashing his fist into Rick's already fucked up face, over and over and over

 

 

the man above him was strong, stronger than Rick at that point in time

 

 

after  killing two men, hauling  them  around half the night, his existing injuries and  new ones, withdrawals and no fucking sleep, he didnt have any fight left in him

 

 

he felt the man's fist impact  him over and over again, he tasted blood and heard the  women's screams echoing in his ears

 

 

suddenly Dwight was lifted up into the air like he was flying and disappeared out of Rick's vision

 

 

 

a black figure loomed over him

 

 

Rick blinked the blood out of his eyes

 

 

it was Negan

 

 

he looked down at him, teeth bared  and turned his back on him

 

 

" back the fuck off Dwight " he yelled

 

 

Rick sat up, feeling like the ground was spinning with him on it

 

 

Frankie and Carol came out of nowhere and knelt down in front of him, concern spread across their faces

 

 

"Jesus Rick, are you ok ??  " Carol looked at him, grabbing his face in her hands, studying it with furrowed brows

 

 

" Carol informs  me they were attacked last night and  Rick here saved them,single handedly " Negan roared

 

 

Rick blinked and felt like he was going to puke, as Carol and Frankie helped him to his feet

 

 

"these fucks were looking for one thing and one thing only....he kept everyone safe, your fucking wife safe...you should be fucking on your knees thanking him, not fucking coming at him " he yelled grabbing a fist full of Dwight's shirt

 

 

the ground spun beneath his boots, as Carol and Frankie helped him walk towards the tents

 

 

Negan was suddenly in front of them

 

 

Rick didnt look  up to meet his eyes, he didnt want a fucking lecture now for fighting, even though it wasn't his fault

 

 

he needed some opium, desperately

 

 

"you ok  ? " he asked, sounding strangely calm

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the ground...was he talking to him ?? or Frankie..surely it was Frankie

 

 

the women didnt move and Rick felt Negan's eyes boring into the top of his head

 

 

suddenly Negan's hands were on his chin and tilted his head up, so their eyes met

 

 

his eyes were filled with concern and softness, something Rick hadn't seen in them for years

 

 

He moved Rick's face from side to the side, examing his open cuts

 

 

" Are you ok rick ?? " he looked directly into his eyes

 

 

Why was Negan asking him that, did he look ok ?? he had done nothing but protect these women and all he got for it was a fucking beating for it

 

 

he felt anger pulling in his gut

 

 

he pulled his chin out of  Negans fingers  and glared at him

 

 

" Why don't worry about controlling your fucking men, instead of worrying about me " he spat in his face

 

 

Negan's face mouth twitched, slightly

 

 

Rick pulled his arms out of the women's grip and stormed past Negan, heading towards the tents

 

 

he grabbed Rick's bicep with his hand, gripping hard enough to draw blood, making Rick jolt to a standstill

 

 

" why you always gotta be a fucking asshole ??  " he whispered in his ear

 

 

Rick didnt look at him and ripped his arm out of his intense grip and stormed off

 

 

Negan watched as Carol ran after him

 

 

he glared back at Dwight, who now had sherry in his arms, looking ashamed of his actions

 

 

he glanced at Frankie who looked up at him, with such sadness in her eyes

 

 

'' Come here honey " he waved her over to him

 

 

She ran into his arms and he hugged her tightly, glancing back at Rick storming off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick threw the tent flaps  back angrily, as he entered his tent and went  straight to his bag he head left on the bed

 

 

he rummaged through it frantically, as Carol entered the tent behind him

 

 

''Rick..I'm sorry, Dwight had no right to.... "

 

 

" Just shut up will ya " he yelled at her

 

 

she pursed her lips together tightly, looking angry at him

 

 

"just leave it  ok...he saw his wife hurt, I get it, he was looking for someone to blame.." his hand landed on that magic bottle and he picked it up, grinning

 

 

he looked around for the bottle of whiskey he had put somewhere, his head pounding, hands shaking

 

 

" I have to tend to your wounds " she said, looking at him concerned about his erratic behavior

 

 

he spied the full bottle, grabbing it and sitting on the edge of the cot

 

 

"fuck them...I just want to get jacked up and go to sleep..do them later " he popped the lid of the opium bottle  and spilled  5  into his hand

 

 

"you're covered in blood and open wounds Rick..you're just gonna get fucking high ? '' she said surprised

 

 

" yep " he popped the P

 

 

He threw the pills into his mouth  followed by a large mouthful of whiskey, its dark liquid burning the back of his throat

 

 

he closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of the pills going down into his gut

 

 

" your injured Rick, your knuckles, in particular, they will get infected " she tried to state her point

 

 

" I don't fucking care..does it look like I fucking care right now Carol ?? don't you have  a kid to go look after " he waved his hand in the air

 

 

feeling the opium already easing his migraine he closed his eyes, leaning back on the cot, whiskey bottle nestled between his legs

 

 

"Just let me have this ok..for fucks sake..just give me this one thing " he yelled at her, wishing she'd just leave

 

 

she stood staring at him, her arms crossed across her chest, a scowl on her face

 

 

"fine" she snapped

 

 

"  drink yourself into a stupor, what do I care " she spat and stormed out of the tent

 

 

Rick smirked at her and took another large mouthful of whiskey, gritting his teeth at the burn

 

 

he glanced up  at the hook on the pole that used to hang the small shaving mirror, that Rick smashed to a thousand small bits

 

 

he wondered what his face looked like, sighing loudly, he looked down at his wrapped up hands in bloody rags

 

 

he suddenly felt guilty for being an asshole to Carol, when she did nothing but look out for him since he arrived in this fucking camp

 

 

he glanced at the whiskey and remembered alcohol ( in particular whiskey ) was used in the war as a natural antiseptic to clean wounds, killing the bacteria, that caused infections

 

 

he removed the bloody rags on his hands, looking at the open wounds on his knuckles and palms

 

 

It may have been the opium in his system, but he thought it would be a good idea to  pour some whiskey over the top of his knuckles

 

 

 

 He screamed out in agony, as the liquid felt like it was burning right through his skin

 

 

 

he gritted his teeth and swallowed  another large mouthful of whiskey before spilling  more of the potent liquid on the opposite hand and palm

 

 

 

he clenched his teeth as he curled his hand into a fist, feeling as if  the alcohol was burning right  down to his bones

 

 

 

he took another mouthful of alcohol hoping it would numb the agony he had inflicted on himself 

 

 

 

the pain soon turned into a numb throbbing sensation  and he removed his shirt that was covered in blood and threw it to the floor

 

 

 

He looked down on the cot at the bottle of opium and he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

he knew if he took more than 5 he would get high..he had already taken 5

 

 

 

but he wanted more, he had had a fucking shit show of a night

 

 

 

he felt a sudden  niggling of guilt in his gut that he shouldn't take advantage of Negan's kindness and get jacked up on them..

 

 

but then again, he'd only be in his tent the rest of the night right ?? what harm would it do ??

 

 

 

he didnt think twice and spilled another 5 onto his bloody palm, looking at them for a second, before throwing them into his mouth, followed by another mouthful of whiskey

 

 

 

He tilted his head back, closing his eyes, letting the magic pills go to work

 

 

 

 

he glanced at his shoulder, trying to see the stitches

 

 

 

He stood up and poured some whiskey over it, spilling all over the tent floor

 

 

 

it stung slightly and he closed his eyes feeling the opium really taking over as his head began to spin in a good way

 

 

 

he removed the  knife from his pocket and looked at the dried blood on it, from the previous night

 

 

 

he poured alcohol over it and rubbed  the blood off it with his thumb

 

 

 

he put it up to his mouth and ran his tongue along the smooth edge of it, laughing slightly

 

 

 

he was high, all the pain had disappeared and he was happy, he was addicted to the feeling, the feeling of losing himself

 

 

 

he threw the knife on the cot and sighed loudly, putting his head in his hands

 

 

 

he glanced at his discarded, bloody shirt and picked it up, spilling whiskey all over it, soaking it

 

 

 

he then proceeded to wipe his face with it, wanting to remove the blood and dirt from the previous night

 

 

 

the small cuts from the branches and the injuries he had just gotten  from Dwight, stung, they stung like nothing he had ever felt before

 

 

 

His stitches stung and he just realised Carol was going to take them out when they returned to camp

 

 

 

he sat back on the cot, looking at the whiskey bottle in his hands

 

 

 

his eyes were getting  heavy, but he didnt want to sleep just yet

 

 

 

 

He glanced at the knife on the cot and picked it up, hating what it represented to him

 

 

 

Shane and his gang had  left it by Lori's body that night,he didnt know why he kept it, it had some fucked up sentimental value to it

 

 

 

he tilted his head at it, as his head spun in a cloud of mist, like he was floating

 

 

 

he brought the knife up to his forearm and ran the sharp blade   vertical down his skin, drawing blood

 

 

 

It didnt hurt, as the opium had him high as fuck, his brain was  swimming in an invisible like pool of water, sending him on a wave of pleasure

 

 

 

he smirked to himself as he dragged the knife down his forearm again, making a second large open cut to match the first one

 

 

 

He closed his eyes feeling the whiskey, soaking into the new open wounds and he hissed in pain, furrowing his brows and tilted his head back

 

 

 

"what the almighty fuckity fuck  are you doing " Negan yelled

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 34

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Rick's eyes sprung open at the sudden loud voice echoing in his ears and dropped the knife like the handle was suddenly made of fire, burning his palm

 

 

 

It made a loud  sound as it hit the tent floor, splashing small droplets  of  blood from its blade

 

 

 

He looked over at Negan,wide eyed, who stood at the opening of the tent with a furious look on his face

 

 

 

He was  amazed  that he was still, to this day,  the only  man on this earth who could  sneak up on him

 

 

 

" what ?? ....nothing " he said, defensively, eyes darting back  to his arm like he could hide the new wound  from him

 

 

 

Negan raced in and immediately knelt down in front of Rick, grabbing his wrist to look at his forearm

 

 

 

he had such a solemn look on his face, that Rick actually felt bad for him

 

 

 

 Negan hung his head between his shoulder, a vice like  grip on Rick's wrist

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and tilted his head so he could see his face

 

 

 

it could have just been the opium affecting Rick's senses, but it looked like he was crying

 

 

 

 

No fucking way..he must be jacked up more than he thought, thinking Negan was crying..he'd never seen him cry...ever

 

 

 

 

Negan mumbled something under his breath, shaking his head at the floor

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows 

 

 

 

"  DO YA RICK ??  " he said  louder ,like he was asking Rick for the answer to those last mumbled words

 

 

 

 

He snapped his head up to Rick, tears in his eyes, but he had such a hostile glare on his face

 

 

 

 

"Why the fuck do you do this to yourself Rick ?? ..do you even know  what this shit  does to me ?? '' he yelled and Rick finally understood what he was mumbling previously

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows as Negan   took his bandana off from around his neck and proceeded to wrap it around Rick's bleeding forearm

 

 

 

 

Rick was bewildered,  Negan had a sentimental attachment to that bandana, he never took it off...like EVER.....well maybe during sex, but sometimes he didnt either

 

 

 

 

It represented the Saviors, everything the man was, everything he had worked for in the last 10 odd years that he had been the leader, he took pride in that bandana

 

 

 

 

and the fact he was willing to use it  to soak up   blood, made Rick feel confused

 

 

 

 

"what are you doing..??? it will get ruined " He pulled his arm away from Negan

 

 

 

 

Negan stilled slightly, not letting his grip loosen on Rick's wrist

 

 

 

He didnt look up  and pulled  Rick's arm back again, proceeding to wrap the bandana around the open cut

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked at him stupidly 

 

 

 

 

he glanced at the whiskey bottle next to him ..the night was still young, he could probably finish it off, what would it hurt ??  he was already fucked up anyway...

 

 

 

 

so he took another mouthful

 

 

 

 

Negan's red rimmed eyes flashed up to him  and he knitted his brows

 

 

 

 

 

 He gritted his teeth, as he tied the bandana tightly on Rick's arm, making him spit out some of the whiskey he had in his mouth and  hiss in pain

 

 

 

 

"what the fuck Negan that fucking hurt  " he spat angrily, down at him

 

 

 

 

Negan stood up abruptly, snatching the bottle from Rick's hand, making some whiskey spill onto his pants

 

 

 

 

"Hey..that's mine " he said childishly like

 

 

 

 

Negan gripped the bottle tightly, glaring down at Rick with such malice on his face

 

 

 

 

 

" HURT.......you fucking selfish bastard, what would you know about fucking hurt " He yelled, baring his teeth, as he loomed like a dark figure over Rick

 

 

 

 

He suddenly spun around and  threw the entire bottle at the  ground, smashing the glass bottle to pieces,  spilling the remaining whiskey on the ground

 

 

 

 

 

" what the fuck  are you doing Negan..I wasn't even finished yet  !! " Rick yelled, standing up

 

 

 

 

Negan spun back around and slapped Rick right across the face

 

 

 

 

It was  so hard, that he nearly lost his already unsteady  balance  and fell over 

 

 

 

 

he grabbed at the side of his face, feeling every inch of Negan's slap, on his already wounded face, his cuts stinging,like someone had just rubbed salt into the open wounds

 

 

 

 

"you fucking stupid, arrogant, fucking fucked up, piece of shit..after everything I've done for you..you go and abuse my generosity " he spat, motioning to the whiskey

 

 

 

 

Rick felt tears in his eyes, as his head  spun from the force of the backhand

 

 

 

" After I gave you those pills  ..you come in here and fucking get jacked up on them " he yelled

 

 

 

 

Rick stood up straight, eyes trained on Negan's boots, hand still holding his painful face, he suddenly felt very sober

 

 

 

 

" you know what a  fucking head fuck it was walking into that drugstore  and asking for those things, knowing all too well  what they do to you..how they mess with ya head Grimes ??  " he yelled in Rick's face

 

 

 

Rick didnt dare look at him, he could literally feel the rage burning off his body..but he didnt ask him to fucking go there and buy them for him,did he ??

 

 

 

"didn't ask you to get me any, did I ?  " he mumbled to the ground, instantly regretting his words

 

 

 

Negan was silent and Rick could feel his intense eyes boring into the top of his head..he actually expected another  smack across the face 

 

 

 

" I really fucking hope you didnt just fucking say what I think you did ? " Negan's tone was low and dangerous

 

 

 

"well I didnt " Rick mumbled like a scolded child, not daring to look Negan in the eye

 

 

 

"  Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you " He yelled, domineering like 

 

 

 

Rick took his hand away from his sore face, looking at the ground for a minute longer, heart in his throat now

 

 

 

He slowly  lifted his head up to look the man in the eyes, his eyes filled with tears of hurt and anger 

 

 

 

 when Rick looked at him with such pain in his eyes, Negan seemed to freeze, his eyes softening, ever so slightly

 

 

 

sky blue looked into intense hazel, both filled with emotion, both wanting to say so many things to each other, but neither wanted to say them first

 

 

 

The tension in the small tent was suffocating and Rick  suddenly had the urge  to kiss the older man on the lips,and  his eyes dropped down to them

 

 

 

Negan licked his lips, seemingly unintentionally, as he took a few steps back from being in Rick's personal space

 

 

 

 He turned his back on  him, ending the intense eye fucking, hands on his hips and head hung between his shoulders

 

 

 

 

 Rick wanted nothing more than to  wrap his arms around his waist and lay his head on his back

 

 

 

"But I know you can't be without them, Rick, I know that now...You need them, I've seen what they do to you when you don't have them and it fucking kills me....it kills me more than when you do have them and knowing you do that shit to yourself....I did it for you  " he sounded so conflicted

 

 

 

 

"I'm out there defending you against my own men...been fucking batting for you ever since you arrived.. and you keep doing this shit in front of me...I can't....." his voice cracked and he brought  a hand up to his face

 

 

 

Rick felt a tugging in his gut for the man, he was so beautiful right now, so damn vulnerable

 

 

 

 

he took a step toward him

 

 

 

 

"it's so fucking hard having you around me, day in and day out ..seeing you..I can't shake those fucking feelings I have for you, no matter how hard I try " he whispered

 

 

 

Rick took another quiet step toward him

 

 

 

He was inches away from the taller man now and he looked up to the top of his head, feeling nervous as fuck

 

 

 

He laid a hand gently on the back of his long black coat, eyes trained on the back of his neck

 

 

 

Negan's whole body seemed to freeze instantly at Rick's touch

 

 

 

"I'm sorry " Rick said softly, genuinely

 

 

 

"I didnt...." he took that one step to close the distance between the two and laid  his cheek on the back of his coat

 

 

 

'' I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, hurt you beyond my comprehension..., I betrayed you....... l fucked up the only thing in my life that mattered '' he closed his eyes and wrapped both his arms around Negan's strong waist, squeezing him tight

 

 

 

 

"But you have to understand...I'm an addict, all that shit,  the opium, the whiskey, the self loathing, the fucking  knife bullshit.. it's all a part of me Negan. .'' he whispered

 

 

 

 

"and that part is selfish..fucking selfish.. " he squeezed his eyes shut

 

 

 

 

"I may not want your help, I may fucking hurt you or push you away, ill be a grumpy asshole, ill fucking break your heart over and over ..but that won't ever  be my intention''

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm so lonely Negan...I need you, I've always needed you.. I may lose sight of that every now and then, but....." he inhaled a deep breath

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

 

'' But all I know for sure is, when im with you, im a better person, a better man..you make life that little bit fucking bearable..through everything... '' he hugged the man in his arms  tightly

 

 

 

"I love you Negan..'' he smiled, saying those words that he had been feeling for so long now, but never realized, never comprehended that he could love someone other than Lori, or was even capable of love after such trauma

 

 

 

" I never realized that until the other day, all I could think about was you, all I wanted was you, wishing  you kissing me ''

 

 

 

 

Negan  was silent as he took Rick's arms   from around his waist

 

 

 

 Rick stepped back, tears in his eyes

 

 

 

they stood in complete silence, Negan's back to Rick, as Rick's heart  pounded in his ears

 

 

 

 

he desperately wanted to kiss the man on the lips

 

 

 

 

"Negan....please forgive me, I need you " Rick barely whispered, feeling  extremely exposed

 

 

 

 

Negan finally turned around, his face was unreadable and Rick's heart  was now up in his throat

 

 

 

 

he placed both hands on either side of Rick's face, looking intensely at him

 

 

 

 

his eyes were filled with sympathy, forgiveness, anger, and  betrayal with  a hint of lust

 

 

 

 

he said nothing and began leaning in to close the gap between them, their lips inches apart

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, feeling butterflies fill his stomach

 

 

 

 

He felt Negan's warm breath on his lips..god he wanted this so badly

 

 

 

" Oh ...oh sorry fellas "  Carol's voice  came from the direction of  the tent opening

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flew open and he looked at her,his face much  like he'd seen a ghost

 

 

 

 

Negan gritted his teeth, backing away from Rick and looked at Carol

 

 

 

 

'' Good fucking timing Carol " he huffed 

 

 

 

 

" I..I came back to see if Rick was over being an asshole and wanted me to look at his wounds now ..sorry ??  " she said sheepishly, looking at Negan

 

 

 

 

 Negan looked at Rick and down at his forearm

 

 

 

 

" Well actually Rick has gone and done himself another fucking mischief, I was just leaving anyway '' he looked  at Rick and began leaving the tent

 

 

 

 

'' Negan " Rick gritted his teeth, giving him a look of what the fuck !!

 

 

 

 

Negan smiled  at him warmly

 

 

 

 

 

" It's ok  Grimes, you need that looked at first, we've got plenty of time for us later '' he grinned, glancing at Carol

 

 

 

 

 

 

"that's only  if Carol here gives you the ok to ride a Horse by tomorrow..wouldn't want to get on her bad side now  " he raised an eyebrow at her

 

 

 

 

 

she looked at him, a scowl on her face 

 

 

 

 

" well depends on what the idiot has gone and done to himself now, doesn't it   " she glared  at Rick

 

 

 

 

what was happening here ..they were about to kiss..they were about to finally make up ....where was he going, fuck his arm ??

 

 

 

 

Rick knitted his brows between the two saviors, mouth slightly open

 

 

 

 

Negan looked over at him and grinned

 

 

 

 

" You better hope she gives you a pass with that  Grimes'' he pointed down at his forearm, wrapped in his bandana

 

 

 

'' cause I'm planning on  taking you somewhere you'll never fucking forget tomorrow   " he winked at Rick and disappeared out of the tent, his long black coat trailing behind him like a shadow

 

Notes:

who knew Carol of all people would be a big old cock blocker 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

OOhh i wonder where Negan is taking Rick ?? somewhere special ??

 

a semi-big reveal is coming from negan's past 😲😲 well i hope it gets everyone going wtf ???

Chapter Text

Rick could feel Carol's eyes angrily boring into him  as she sat impossibly close on the stool, unwrapping the now blood soaked bandana

 

 

 

 

He had his eyes averted to the side, although not looking at her, he could feel the anger radiating off her, if that was even possible

 

 

 

 

he glanced at her and she  was glaring at him

 

 

 

 

 

''what ??  " he snapped, furrowing his brow

 

 

 

 

 

"I dont understand why you do this to yourself, Rick, I mean haven't you fucking beat yourself up enough  ??  '' she grabbed one of his cut open  knuckles in her hand, angrily

 

 

 

 

"  And why the hell does everything  smell like whiskey in here,including your skin ??  '' she put her nose closer to his hand,scrunching it up

 

 

 

 

He jerked it away

 

 

 

 

'' cause I poured whiskey on it to stop an infection developing  "' he said confidently

 

 

 

 

 

Carol  flashed her eyes up to him, quickly

 

 

 

 

"YOU DID WHAT ?? '' she yelled in his face

 

 

 

 

"What ? '' he furrowed his brows, shrugging

 

 

 

 

 

''they did it in the war I saw it first hand, it stops infections '' he yelled back at her

 

 

 

 

" Rick..you cant pour alcohol on open wounds, it will make the healing process take longer and can actually cause an  infection...look fuck... " she wrapped his arm back up in Negan's bandana, tieing it tightly

 

 

 

 

Rick hissed in pain

 

 

 

" well discuss that fucking dumb move later, but right now this needs stitching, the  cuts are very  deep '' she stood up abruptly

 

 

 

 

" for fucks sake, more fucking stitches " Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

"yes more fucking stitches " Carol mocked him, angrily

 

 

 

 

"This was your own  stupid fault this time '' she spat

 

 

 

 

 

'' You dont deserve it, but I've got some morphine in the medical tent, we acquired last week, that will numb the pain while I stitch this bloody mess up  '' she glared at him

 

 

 

 

He averted his eyes to the floor

 

 

 

 

''   if anyone knew I was  about to  give you morphine after you took   a large dose of opium, id be in serious trouble" she  began walking out of the tent

 

 

 

 

 

'' what? ...how do you know ?? '' he began, glancing at the bottle still sitting close beside him on the cot

  

 

 

 

 

" what ?? dont you think I can tell you're fucking high Rick..why else would you pour god damn whiskey all over yourself and cut your body up..I'm a nurse remember, and I'm not dumb'' she glared  at him

 

 

 

 

 

He looked back at the floor, holding the bandana on  his forearm 

 

 

 

 

'' Dont do anything else bloody stupid while im gone, I'll be right back.... and keep pressure on that  '' she snapped, pointing to his arm,  disappearing  out of the tent

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked down at the bandana, although it was red, he could still decipher the bright red blood seeping through it and he squeezed it harder to try and stop the bleeding

 

 

 

 

 

He was becoming unexpectedly  sober quickly  as  the opium was wearing off, and the fresh wound  in his forearm  began to  throb

 

 

 

 

 

 

he closed his eyes as he felt the blood pumping in his veins in that particular area and he put pressure on the bandana harder

 

 

 

 

"Ok '' Carol said suddenly, making Rick open his eyes, slightly shocked at how fast she had been

 

 

 

 

she had  what looked like 2  leather pouches  in her hand and a bottle of green looking stuff

 

 

 

 

 

She put one  pouch and the green looking goop on the crate next to Rick's cot and stuck one  pouch  under her underarm,  as she  knelt down in front of him

 

 

 

 

she opened it up on the ground to reveal a needle, with liquid already in it, some wire that he recognized as the same type he currently had in his face  and a strange hooked silver object, which he assumed was to pierce  under the skin to thread the wire through 

 

 

 

He swallowed a lump in his throat looking at the hooked object as Carol came at him with the needle, not even giving him a warning, she stuck it directly in his forearm, just above where he had sliced  his skin open 

 

 

 

 

" The fuck .. fuck " Rick yelped and jumped off the bed slightly

 

 

 

 

 

"Keep still " she hissed angrily as she injected him with the clear morphine

 

 

 

 

 

Rick instantly felt the cool liquid running up his veins and into his body and he closed his eyes, sighing loudly

 

 

 

 

" I've had to give  you a lower dosage of morphine too, so this may still feel  slightly uncomfortable I'm afraid " she stood up and grabbed the small stool, sitting down and threading the wire through the hooked object quickly

 

 

 

 

''why didn't you give me the normal dose then  ? '' he spat at her

 

 

 

 

she glared at him, her face filled with malice

 

 

 

 

" Because you've already taken half a bottle of opium  tonight Rick "' she yelled, looking down at the bottle that sat beside him still

 

 

 

 

 

'' injecting you with the full amount of Morphine  will most probably kill you '' she glared at him

 

 

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched and he glared at her

 

 

 

 

" Something to say ? cause im more than happy to fucking leave you here to fucking bleed out Rick..im so sick of patching you up '' she snapped

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent and looked away from her

 

 

 

 

'' No... " he mumbled 

 

 

 

 

She said nothing and began  stitching Rick's arm back together

 

 

 

 

 

The morphine was fucking useless as Rick felt the metal hook piercing his tender skin on each side of the wound

 

 

 

 

 

He clenched his hand into  a fist on instinct and  bit into   his lip with his teeth, trying to stifle a scream, closing his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Carol glanced up at him

 

 

 

 

" Is the morphine helping ? " she asked, her voice sounding softer than before

 

 

 

 

'' Yes "' Rick lied, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

 

Carol furrowed her brows at him and continued to thread the black wire through his open wound

 

 

 

 

 The metal hook pierced his skin and he bit down harder on his lip, tasting blood instantly

 

 

 

 

 

This  was his own damn fault, Carol was right, he was his own worst enemy

 

 

 

 

 

Why the fuck did he do this shit when he was high on opium ??

 

 

 

his head began to spin and he felt like he was floating, maybe the morphine was actually working ??

 

 

 

his arm felt numb and didnt feel a thing

 

 

 

 

" I ..I think it's working " he smiled,dumbly, eyes closed

 

 

 

 

Carol glanced at him

 

 

 

 

"good " she simply said

 

 

 

 

 

within the second it took for Rick  to open his eyes, Carol spoke

 

 

 

 

'' OK Rick all done " 

 

 

 

 

" what ?? how ?? " he looked dumbly down at his now freshly stitched forearm

 

 

 

 

 

Carol  scoffed, as  she  was now wrapping his arm  in a fresh bandage

 

 

 

 

 

'' Morphine's god stuff '' she glanced up at him

 

 

 

 

"you ok " she smirked at his dopey expression, putting a hand on his knee 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows,feeling light headed

 

 

 

 

" whats wrong  ?? " she asked concerned

 

 

 

 

"you " he scoffed

 

 

 

 

"me ? ''

 

 

 

 

 

'' You were just tearing me a new one a second ago, now your asking me if your ok .....you're fucking making my head hurt woman " he frowned at her, pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine coming on

 

 

 

 

 

'' I  think that the mix of drugs you've got in your system Rick " she smiled

 

 

 

 

 

'' And I still care about you and what you do to yourself, even  if you are an idiot " she looked back down at his forearm

 

 

 

 

 

'' Now " she said patting his newly bandaged forearm, gently

 

 

 

 

"let's look at this shoulder and see if you are fit to ride a horse tomorrow " 

 

 

 

 

not arguing with her,Rick   undid 3 of the buttons on his shirt, pulling the top  down  just over  his shoulder slightly 

 

 

 

 

 Carol looked at it, pensive like

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at her, hoping to god it would be in good shape to ride a horse tomorrow

 

 

 

 

she glanced up at him and back at it

 

 

 

 

"I don't think I'm happy with you riding a horse with it like this Rick, it's still healing " she sat back on the stool, eyeing it

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart began to beat fast....he desperately wanted to go with Negan tomorrow, this special place he promised had Rick intrigued

 

 

 

 

 

his face dropped..that fucking asshole Simon wasn't even in camp and he was still fucking him over...

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' But I reckon I can give you a day pass " she winked at him

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes lit up   and Carol smiled at him

 

 

 

 

" thanks " he averted his eyes to the ground, feeling embarrassed for acting like a giddy kid

 

 

 

 

'' But if you do anything to damage it, I'll tan your hide ..you hear me ? '' she looked at him sternly

 

 

 

 

'' yes mam''  he smirked

 

 

 

 

'' thank you'' he added

 

 

 

" for everything you've done for me since I arrived here...I  mean you could of just let me die, the other saviors would of..but you ....you've looked out for me when you didnt have to ...  you saved my life more than once..you've patched   my  jacked up ass up more than once ...and I was a complete asshole to you that first time we met " he looked at her

 

 

 

'' just the first time Rick ??  '' she smirked

 

 

 

he smiled and looked down at his boots

 

 

 

'' ok..now I made a deal with you,....that when we returned to camp I'd take the  stitches out on your face ...''

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed  up to her in excitement

 

 

 

 

 

" Really  ?? '' his eyes lit up

 

 

 

 

 

'' They have healed beautifully '' she motioned to  his face

 

 

 

 

 

'' then I'll dress those hands and let you get some sleep ..I think I've toured you enough for one night  ??  " she smiled

 

 

 

 

she  reached over on top of the crate, grabbing the other leather pouch she had brought in earlier 

 

 

 

 

she  folded it back to reveal a large knife and some other items

 

 

 

 

Rick instantly  went pale at the sight of the knife, and he felt a cold  sweat run over his entire body

 

 

 

 

" You know Rick ..I  " she smiled, putting a cloth in her lap, placing the knife down on it

 

 

 

 

 

she looked  up at him  and did a double take at his expression 

 

 

 

 

"what's wrong ?? '' she furrowed her brows

 

 

 

 

" Nothing '' he lied, not wanting to sound like a fucking wimp over the sight of a knife

 

 

 

 

"you look like you've just  seen a ghost ..is the morphine  still affecting you ?? "she asked

 

 

 

 

"  I'm just a bit fucking paranoid about  giant fucking knives coming at my face .. '' he looked at the knife in her lap, warily

 

 

 

 

Yeh it wasn't a fucking hunting knife like Shane had used, but a knife's a knife's and Rick's subconscious couldn't detach from that memory

 

 

 

 

"Oh.....  " she glanced down at the knife

 

 

 

 

" It's just to cut the wire with and then I pull them out  with these " she reached over to the pouch, picking up  some small tweezers

 

 

 

 

Rick swallowed a large lump in his throat

 

 

 

 

" We don't have to do this right  now if you're not up to it, I mean I just put stitches in ... " she smiled, warmly

 

 

 

 

 

" NO '' Rick yelled, quickly

 

 

 

 

 

'' No, They have to come out before tomorrow " he said, slightly on edge

 

 

 

 

" look, Rick, you don't have to take them out because  Negan ...."

 

 

 

 

 

" he's got nothing to do with this " he spat, defensively,cutting her off

 

 

 

 

 

she looked at him like she knew he was full of shit

 

 

 

 

 

" He adores ....'' she began

 

 

 

 

 

" Just take them out " he said, abruptly

 

 

 

 

 

"ok " she sighed  and moved her stool closer to him, sitting in between his legs

 

 

 

 

" This  isn't going to hurt .... ok " she smiled, her tone much like a mother speaking to her child when they were afraid

 

 

 

 

he smiled weakly as his  heart began racing 

 

 

 

 

 she raised the blade to his forehead first, his eyes following the knife, as her  face  was filled with concentration

 

 

 

 

he felt a strange pulling sensation at his skin  and he inhaled a deep shaky breath

 

 

 

 

she instantly flicked her gaze down to his face  and back up to the stitches

 

 

 

 

"that's the first one out Rick" Carol's smiled, as he put a black wire stitch on the cloth with the tweezers

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed down to it..only what ??? about 100 more of them to go ?? he could do this ...right ?

 

 

 

 

The pulling sensation moved down his forehead and he saw her hand getting closer to his eye

 

 

 

he closed his eyes to avoid thinking about the knife coming for his eye , as his heart rate picked up

 

 

 

 

Carol continued down past his eye, in towards his nose, and out again..following the cuts Shane made that night that were etched in his memory

 

 

 

 

" OK... now these next ones are closer to your mouth,so ill try not to pull any of your beard hair out with the stitch,but you'll understand if i do, by accident '' she said calmly

 

 

 

 

He screwed his eyes shut  tighter, as he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants

 

 

 

 

That strange feeling became  a tight tugging sensation around the side of his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

Carol grabbed a few of his beard hairs and he hissed in pain

 

 

 

 

she continued very slowly,and it felt like hours had passed,as Rick was getting annoyed  at her fucking tugging

 

 

 

 

suddenly it felt like Carol actually cut him with the knife, his eyes flew open and he flinched away from her touch

 

 

 

 

"What the fuck " he spat, eyeing the knife, touching the side of his mouth, looking at his hand for any sign of blood

 

 

 

 

'' Sorry Rick..that particular stitch was stuck "  she explained  

 

 

 

 

Rick  glared at her, as she brought the knife back up to his mouth

 

 

 

 

"Shane cut deeper in this area, he almost cut right into your mouth..so  it's going to be a bit  more sensitive and as i said before .....the beard isn't helping " she smiled weakly 

 

 

 

 

" yeh well i ain't about to  shave it off , just to get a few stitches out " he snapped,over tired now

 

 

 

 

'' No one was suggesting that Rick " she snapped back,her tired eyes glaring at Rick

 

 

 

"I'm sorry " he looked at her apologetically

 

 

 

 

"I'm just tired.... and this is extremely uncomfortable " he smiled weakly at her

 

 

 

 

" i know Rick,ill try and be as fast as i can " she smiled at him and brought the knife back up to his lip

 

 

 

 

He closed his eyes quickly

 

 

 

As she continued to pull at his face, a  vivid image of  that night's surroundings  were suddenly in front of Rick's eyes like he was watching it on a movie screen like he was actually standing back there in front of the small fire he had lit, his hands being bound behind his back,Shane standing in front of him

 

 

 

 

Carol   pulled a beard hair  and he hissed, not in pain but in annoyance

 

 

 

 

"Sorry ....these are particularly hard to get at  " she said, slightly annoyed with herself

 

 

 

 

 

 With his eyes still closed he saw Shane with the knife in his hand, tapping it up against his own face, eyes trained on Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick tried to concentrate on his breathing which had become erratic now, as his heart was in his throat

 

 

 

 

Shane began to circle him

 

 

 

 

He  couldn't move,  he felt paralysed ,like he had been bitten by a  rattle snake and its venom was running through his veins, killing him slowly

 

 

 

 

Rick jerked his head slightly

 

 

 

 

"Rick ..please stay still... " Carol  snapped, as she continued her fucking pulling and tugging at his face

 

 

 

 

Shane trailed his eyes down Rick's body which made him feel vulnerable and exposed 

 

 

 

 

His heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest, as he felt himself  beginning to shake

 

 

 

 

''ok,all done there.... Just tilt your head up slightly,im going to take the ones out on your throat now "

 

 

 

 

with his eyes shut Shane moved closer to Rick..he could feel his hot breath on his face

 

 

 

 

Carol began tugging at his neck

 

 

 

 

Shane wasn't real..this wasn't real, he was just a figment of Rick's fucked up memory and imagination

 

 

 

 

Shane lifted the knife up to Rick's face with  an evil grin on his angry face

 

 

 

 

Rick could feel the tight wire getting threaded out through the skin on his neck

 

 

 

" No '' he said absent mindedly

 

 

 

 

Carol glanced at him and back at his neck

 

 

 

 

" these  are proving harder to remove Rick..just ..bare with me  '' Carol said, her voice now sounding muffled by the blood pumping in his ears, as his head began to pound

 

 

 

 

 Shane trailed the knife gently down Rick's face, something else in his eyes now, something not malice

 

 

 

 

Rick flinched as the Knife touched him, in his imagination

 

 

 

 

 

"Rick, try and stay still " Carol snapped

 

 

 

 

" hurry the fuck up then " he snapped back, eyes closed

 

 

 

 

"you think this feels fucking ok ?? '' he added, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

 

Shane's  grinned, his eyes filled with lust as he licked his lips

 

 

 

 

What the actual fuck ??

 

 

 

 

 

Rick took a step back from Shane,as he did he tilted his head away from Carol

 

 

 

 

 

'' Rick '' she spat, pulling his head back to her level

 

 

 

 

 

Shane's  expression suddenly became hostile and he bared his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

He held the blade of the knife in his hand tightly and lunged at Rick's face

 

 

 

 

Rick could feel the blade slicing his skin,the pain was real,just like that night,it was nothing like he had experienced before

 

 

 

 

 

'' No, stop....I can't.....  " Rick's eyes flew  open and he stood up abruptly, almost knocking Carol off her stool

 

 

 

 

the knife and tweezers went flying to the floor as Rick grabbed at his neck, frantically taking his hand away to see the blood  that Shane had spilled, for a second time

 

 

 

 

His heart  was racing as he felt the sweat dripping down his back

 

 

 

 

"Hey, it's ok..I'm sorry the stitches on your neck are being stubborn....we don't have to do anymore tonight " she looked up at him, slightly taken aback and concerned

 

 

 

 

Rick brought his hands up to his face, both were shaking violently

 

 

 

 

he looked down at her ,wide eyed and sat back down on the cot

 

 

 

 

''I'm sorry " he began, putting his head in his hands, sighing loudly

 

 

 

 

"Hey.." she put her hand on his knee

 

 

 

 

" You don't have to apologise to anyone..this has got to be hard..I know that was uncomfortable  for you " she looked at him, eyes filled with emotion

 

 

 

 

he looked up at her and back down at his hands that were beginning to ease their violent shaking

 

 

 

 

 

" What just  happened Rick  ?? '' she  looked at him, curiously

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent, looking at his hands...what did happen..was he hallucinating ?? he saw Shane and he felt the pain

 

 

 

 


'' What ? '' he said,  irritated

 

 

 

 

'' Are you ok ?? " she ducked her head,looking at him closely

 

 

 

 

 

he looked at her, dumbfounded slightly

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh..yeh sure..just felt strange" he touched his throat, feeling the wiry stitches

 

 

 

 

she looked at him a few more minutes intently

 

 

 

 

 

"here " she handed him a small mirror

 

 

 

 

 

he looked at it, slightly anxious about what his face would look like, now there  wasn't a large crooked  line of black stitches  running down the entire right hand  side 

 

 

 

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath and took the mirror from her and looked into it, slowly

 

 

 

 

 

the scar was thin and neat....Carol had done a good job keeping the stitches small..she had one hell of a task, pulling his face back together after all

 

 

 

 

But his heart still sank looking at the long jagged line that was clearly running down his face, etched into his once perfect skin

 

 

 

 

He looked like a fucking freak

 

 

 

 

 

'' what's wrong "  Carol looked at him concerned

 

 

 

 

 

'' nothing....." he  shook his head not looking at her, his eyes never leaving the mirror

 

 

 

 

 

'' Tell me " she put her hand on his knee

 

 

 

 

 

he glanced at her 

 

 

 

 

 

'' I look like a fucking freak '' he said, his voice cracking

 

 

 

 

 

Carol was silent as she looked at his face

 

 

 

 

 

''  Your face doesn't define who you are Rick....This does.... " she put her hand on his chest, holding it there

 

 

 

 

 

He looked at her, brows knitted together, confused

 

 

 

 

 

'' I've never known such a fucking self loathing asshole like you  before Rick'' she spat

 

 

 

 

'' This is nothing '' he motioned to his face, taking her hand off his knee

 

 

 

 

 

''  What matters is inside of you Rick....You are strong....stronger than you give yourself credit for fucks sake, look at  what you've overcome..''

 

 

 

 

'' what Shane did to you..the fucking pain you went through that night..anyone else would have just  rolled over and died ''

 

 

 

 

''  you stood out there and took on Simon and 5 other guys and didnt even fucking flinch '' she yelled, pointing to the opening of the tent

 

 

 

'' you  took on two men, twice your size, armed with shotguns......risked your life for a bunch of women and children who are practically strangers to you ''

 

 

 

 

'' Those ''  she pointed to his face again

 

 

 

 

''Don't make you any less of  a man,  husband, father, son in law, partner...or lover ''

 

 

 

 

Rick flashed his eyes to  her

 

 

 

 

'' Negan adored you before these and anyone who's really looking can see he adores you now..loves you even, Rick '' she smiled

 

 

 

 

'' don't take that for granted..you've been given another  chance at love, hold onto that  and never let it go..I...I...'' she looked at her hands in her lap

 

 

 

 

" I lost my husband 3 years ago now.... I'd give anything, anything to find that kind of love again Rick...I know Negan would too,he's been lost for so long now  " she looked at him

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

"what do you mean Negan  wants to have  that kind of love  AGAIN.....he's been a bachelor for the entire time I've known him " he scoffed

 

 

 

 

 Carol was silent

 

 

 

 

" It's not like he's got a wife stashed away somewhere  that he didnt  tell me about  " he laughed, nervously

 

 

 

 

Carol didnt laugh and Rick began to get anxious

 

 

 

 

"Carol....does he have a wife ? '' he furrowed  his brows, feeling slightly frightened

 

 

 

 

"you're a good looker Rick....and  you can't even see the scars, I'd like to  think  I  had  a small part in that " she sat back on the stool, smiling,admiring her work, ignoring his question

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her, his brain spinning, glancing down at the mirror that was still in his hand, looking at his reflection.....wondering what the hell Negan saw in him

 

 

 

 

Surely Carol meant that Negan deserved  love too..he didnt have a wife..no fucking way....he would of told him

 

 

 

 

 

''Ok ill just cover this mess up, and then ill let you get some rest ''  she took the green looking goo in her hand and put some on her fingers

 

 

 

 

 

''  what the hell is that anyway ??  "  Rick raised an eyebrow at it

 

 

 

 

" Daryl makes herbal healing lotions, he uses a mix of herbs and berries, they do wonders..trust me " she smiled as she lathered the cool gel over his cut knuckles

 

 

 

 

He looked back  at his reflection in the mirror,  as Carol smoothed the wonder potion on his hand and began wrapping it up in a clean bandage

 

 

 

...Carol had done a good job, it was a neat scar as the whole thing could have turned out incredibly worse...his face could have been  fucking mangled beyond recognition...or he could of died.He should be damn grateful,not worrying about his looks

 

 

 

 

" Here" Carol took the mirror off him

 

 

 

 

" you'll wear it out " she winked at him and took  the hand that wasn't  bandaged, and began rubbing the cooling lotion over it 

 

 

 

 

"How did your husband die ?? " he blurted out,looking at her face intently

 

 

 

 

she stilled momentarily, not looking at him

 

 

 

 

 

"Shane " she barely whispered, after what felt like hours of intense silence

 

 

 

 

"What !! "' Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

Carol glanced at him

 

 

 

 

 

"he's a sick, sadistic son of a bitch...my husband..caught him one day..touching.." her voice cracked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at her , his heart racing

 

 

 

 

"he was with Sophia alone.. my husband confronted him... and he retaliated....killed him......Negan exiled him the next day " she looked at Rick and back down  at his knuckles

 

 

 

 

"Sophia was fine...but ....I'd hate to think what might have happened if my husband hadn't got there when he did ..My Sophia she would...'' she chocked on her words

 

 

 

 

"hey " Rick took both her hands in his as she looked at him, eyes filled with emotion

 

 

 

 

"I'm going to find that son of a bitch  and teach him..I'm gonna teach him what I do to sick fucking rapists...he's destroyed so many lives..I once thought it was just my world,my family he destroyed..but he's hurt so many others " he shook his head, feeling anger rising in his belly

 

 

 

"I don't care what Negan thinks..as soon as I'm well enough, I'm hunting that sadistic fuck down and killing him and anyone who is traveling with him" Rick spat

 

 

 

 

" he won't get the jump on me again....not this time " he added, taking his hands off Carol's and sat back on the cot, looking down at his bandaged knuckles

 

 

 

 

Carol said nothing as she looked at Rick

 

 

 

 

she bolted up off the stool and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly

 

 

 

 

Rick was slightly surprised

 

 

 

 

" I believe you Rick " she whispered in his ear

 

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

she pulled away from him and looked at him coyly, standing   up straight , as did Rick

 

 

 

 

"thank you " he said shyly

 

 

 

 

" Get some sleep " she smiled at him and walked towards the opening of the tent and stopped, her back to him

 

 

 

 

 

" I will bring you a razor in the morning, that thing really needs a clean up  " she turned around and pointed to his scruffy  beard

 

 

 

 

" why..there's nothing wrong with it " he stroked it, knitting his brows together

 

 

 

 

'' You look like you've just stumbled out of a saloon,after 6  day  bender " she laughed

 

 

 

 

Rick raised both his eyebrows in mock offense

 

 

 

 

" We want you looking your best for Negan now dont we  ?? I'll see you tomorrow morning..goodnight " she smiled at him, leaving before he could protest about the beard or the Negan comment

 

 

 

 

Rick looked around the tent, finally alone, after an eventful and LONG night

 

 

 

 

 

the bottle of opium was  sitting on the cot beside him, broken glass was still scattered all over the floor and everything smelt like whiskey, including himself

 

 

 

 

 

He wished he was back at that stream now, having a  wash, once again scrubbing blood and dirt from his tired weary body

 

 

 

 

he sat down on the cot, sighing loudly, picking up the bottle of opium, looking at it

 

 

 

 

He glanced at his bandaged hands, and forearm, thinking about the men in the cave, the women, the kids, and how frightened they all were

 

 

 

 

 

He flopped back on the cot,  his head, resting on the soft pillow, staring up at the tent roof

 

 

 

 

Thinking about tomorrow, feeling both extremely nervous and excited as his eyes felt heavy and he closed them

Chapter 36

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick was awake and up out of bed before the sun have even started to rise

 

 

 

he didnt know what time it was, but he was  too overly anxious to sleep

 

 

 

 

He cleaned up the smashed glass on the floor and even made his cot neatly

 

 

 

 

He  was contemplating going outside and see if Negan was awake yet,but as he stood up he glanced over to the crate, where he spied the small mirror that Carol must have left   behind

 

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows at it, feeling a sense of dread at its presence

 

 

 

 

 

he picked it up and looked at his reflection, running his fingertip down the scar that was etched into his face 

 

 

 

 

he looked directly into his own eyes, blue as ice and tired, so much trauma lay behind them 

 

 

 

 

His eyes trailed down to his beard......fuck, he did need a shave, he thought as he ran a hand down the middle of it

 

 

 

 

" Well good morning "  Carol's slightly annoying chipper voice startled Rick and he dropped the mirror on the floor

 

 

 

 

"Are you looking at yourself again Rick ??  I told you, you'll wear it out  " she laughed at her own comment

 

 

 

 

"Jesus Carol..you need to stop bursting in here  like that, a man could be naked you know  " he picked up the mirror, slightly annoyed

 

 

 

 

He noticed the sun was just  coming up behind her, as she stepped into the tent carrying what looked like a large bowl in her hands

 

 

 

 

" Well I'd be a lucky woman then  wouldn't I ?  " she grinned over  at him, as she put the bowl and some other items down on the crate next to the cot

 

 

 

 

'' what's that you got there  ? '' he asked her, looking back in the mirror

 

 

 

 

'' thought you'd like to clean up a little '' she motioned to the bowl

 

 

 

 

 

he glanced at the bowl, looking into it, It was filled with  water 

 

 

 

 

'' You know before your big outing '' she grinned at him, like an idiot

 

 

 

 

He rolled his eyes, as she put down a cloth and folded it back, revealing what looked like  soap, two  rags, one  for washing and one for  drying, a razor, and scissors

 

 

 

 

 

It was a nice gesture, he did feel grubby and dried blood stuck to his forearm and he smelt like whiskey 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks ....'' he mumbled and looked back at his reflection

 

 

 

 

 

''do you want me to help you trim that beard ? ''

 

 

 

 

" who said I was trimming it  ? " he snapped at her

 

 

 

 

she laughed and pulled up the small stool, getting  in his personal space as she always did

 

 

 

 

" I  saw Negan earlier " she looked at him, knowingly

 

 

 

 

he glanced at her

 

 

 

 

" funny that ...... this  being  his camp  and all  " he said sarcastically, furrowing  his brows at his reflection and running a finger down his scar again

 

 

 

 

 

"oh for god's sake give me that " she spat and took the mirror off him

 

 

 

 

 

"    you  can  wash up first, then ill redress this  " she glanced down at his forearm

 

 

 

 

'' And your hands '' she was telling him more than suggesting

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked over to the washbowl and soap and glanced back at her, sitting very close to him

 

 

 

 

 

she didnt seem to be leaving, so he'd have  some  privacy

 

 

 

 

 

"  I'm quite capable of  washing myself ya know  " he knitted his brows at her

 

 

 

 

 

she smiled and turned around, picking up the scissors, snipping them together, raising both her eyebrows, suggestively

 

 

 

 

 

" for fucks sake, you dont give up, do you??  ....dont you have anything  better  to do with yourself this morning  ?? '' he sighed loudly

 

 

 

 

 

" Oh come on Rick, you know I've been  itching to trim that grubby thing ever since you arrived   " she grinned

 

 

 

 

 

" It's not fucking grubby " he said defensively

 

 

 

 

she grinned

 

 

 

 

 

'' oh for god's sake, just do it then " he sighed loudly

 

 

 

 

she grinned, wider

 

 

 

 

 

"christ, didnt know you'd get this excited about trimming a simple beard" he huffed

 

 

 

 

 

"oh come on, it's a change from patching you bloody men up all the time, elbow deep in blood  " she winked at him

 

 

 

 

 

she got him there

 

 

 

"a trim..dont fucking butcher it .." he glared at her

 

 

 

 

 

she smiled at him and began brushing it with a small comb, placing a small cloth in his lap to catch the hair as she trimmed it

 

 

 

 

he sat there while she snipped at his beard

 

 

 

 

he hadn't taken much care of it in the past 2 years, he'll admit, it was slightly out of control,it  just hadn't been a priority,shane had

 

 

 

 

" There.....Much better " she sat back, smiling at him

 

 

 

 

 

he ran a hand down it and it felt shorter, but much softer too

 

 

 

 

"here " she handed him back the mirror

 

 

 

 

 

he looked into it and was surprisingly impressed with her efforts of not making him look like a dickhead

 

 

 

 

 

" well I've gotta say, if you ever give up the whole nurse thing, you'll make a fine barber " he smiled at her

 

 

 

 

 

she smiled as her eyes flicked to his hair, sitting just past his shoulders

 

 

 

 

 

"dont even fucking think about it " he spat

 

 

 

 

 

" Can't help a girl for trying " she laughed

 

 

 

 

 

she  stood up, taking the cloth from his lap in her hand, bunching it up, and going back over to the crate 

 

 

 

 

"ok ill let you wash up and I'll go  see if Daryl has any more of his magic  potion left for those wounds " she smiled and left the tent as fast as she had come in

 

 

 

 

he glanced at the bowl of water and soap and stood up

 

 

 

 

He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, he would concentrate on the top half for now, that was the dirtiest

 

 

 

 

He dipped the rag in the warm water and used the soap to clean his face, neck, chest, and arms, going around his new stitches from last night, making sure not to get them wet

 

 

 

 

The once clear water was now a brown, bloody colour as  he  dried his body and arms, getting   redressed in clean clothes, feeling almost brand new

 

 

 

 

 

he sat on the cot as he pulled his boots on when Carol burst in again, almost giving him a fucking heart attack

 

 

 

 

"well,well , well " she said joyfully

 

 

 

 

 

he glanced at her as he pulled a boot on

 

 

 

 

 

" I never would of guessed there was a handsome man underneath all that blood and grime " she grinned, as she walked in

 

 

 

 

 

" I dont know about that, but I do feel almost human again " he glanced at her

 

 

 

 

 

"ok so I've got some more of that ointment,  ill wrap these up, and send you on your way " she smiled

 

 

 

 

 

he looked up at her, curiously

 

 

 

 

 

"oh Negan was outside, he's got your horses ready to be saddled in the barn, I told him I just had to wrap your hands up and id send you out "

 

 

 

 

 

"did you now ? " he said, slightly annoyed...it felt like she had been organizing his whole morning

 

 

 

 

 

she seemingly ignored his tone and took his hands in hers  and began  unwrapping the bandages from last night and proceeded to wipe that slimy shit all over them

 

 

 

 

 

it was cooling and eased the pain of his open, sore, skin slightly

 

 

 

 

 

 she  re-wrapped them and did the same thing to his stitches

 

 

 

 

 Rick looked over at his bag in the corner, wondering if he should take it, they were only going for the day, weren't they ??  He'd need his opium if the pain in his forearm persisted

 

 

 

 

 

" Now I dont want you getting this wet while you're away Rick '' Carol said and looked up at him 

 

 

 

 

She turned to follow his gaze

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh I almost forgot, Negan  said to pack a few clothes, you'll be staying a few nights  " she looked down at his hands

 

 

 

 

 

"Why couldn't he tell me himself ? '' he  said slightly annoyed 

 

 

 

 

 

" Cause I said you were in here fussing like a woman about what your appearance " she laughed

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at her, not sharing in her humor

 

 

 

 

 

she looked at him and her face went serious 

 

 

 

 

"pull the stick out of your ass Rick..we just ran into each other out there and he passed on the  message, Dwight wanted a word with him, so he couldn't come and tell you himself " she frowned at him and looked back at his hands,

 

 

 

 

Rick felt like an asshole

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry " he mumbled

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm just.. I guess im kinda nervous  " he stumbled over his words

 

 

 

 

 

"I get it  Rick " she smiled

 

 

 

 

" We have not been alone for so long, I guess I'm a little ...  I've always been.." he trailed off

 

 

 

 

 

she glanced up at him

 

 

 

 

 

" self conscious " he shrugged

 

 

 

 

 

 

" I never knew what he saw in me, to be honest " he glanced at her

 

 

 

 

 

"you're thinking too much into it  Rick, just have fun yeh " she shrugged, casually

 

 

 

 

 

" ok, I'm all done here  " she smiled  up at him

 

 

 

 

 

he looked down at his forearm, slightly bewildered at how fast she had bandaged it, blinking several times,his guts starting to churn from nerves

 

 

 

 

 

'' Hey.. " she ducked her head down to meet his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

" If you are scared shitless to do something, but you know in your heart its the right thing to do..then it probably is Rick, you can't turn your back on that feeling,or you'll regret it the rest of your life '' she smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled weakly at her, knowing she was right

 

 

 

 

 

he needed to pull himself together, it wasn't like he and Negan didnt know each other 

 

 

 

 

 

"ok..well you look all ready  to go to me " she stood up

 

 

 

 

 

Rick stood up abruptly, as his  heart began racing at the thought of going out there and looking Negan in  the eye

 

 

 

 

 

Carol looked at him strangely

 

 

 

 

"calm down Rick or you'll give yourself a hernia " she smiled and patted him on the  shoulder

 

 

 

 

 

she picked up all the things she had brought in with her and held the bowl of now dirty, water  in her hands

 

 

 

 

 

"you look good Rick  '' she said, before turning around

 

 

 

 

 

"Ummm thanks for everything..the pep talks, the water, soap, the beard " he looked at his boots, motioning his hand in  the air

 

 

 

 

 

'' No problem " she smiled at him

 

 

 

 

"hey... have a good time yeh, and try to smile, you look so  much better when you do " she smiled at him and left the  tent

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was a bundle of nerves as he stuffed clothes in his satchel  bag, adding the  bottle of opium

 

 

 

 

 

he stood up straight and put the bag on, letting it sit comfortably across his torso, tamed his hair down, and put  his hat on

 

 

 

 

 

 He pushed it as  far down on  his head as it would go, so his icy blue eyes were just visible, and pulled a few shorter curls out from underneath it, so it  hid the bullet scar Shane had left 

 

 

 

 

 

He adjusted his clothes, tucking his blue shirt into his pants, and sighed loudly, feeling anxious as he turned toward the tent flaps

 

 

 

 

he felt naked without his gun holster and machete, as he ran a hand down his outer thigh

 

 

 

 

he hadn't forgotten about what sherry had said..she didnt see any weapons on Rick when he arrived, and he felt uncomfortable with the fact that Negan may or may not be lying to him about having them in camp. well he hoped they were or Negan had some fucking explaining to do

 

 

 

 

he shook his head..he didnt want to worry about that right now

 

 

 

 

he  inhaled a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves

 

 

 

 

 

he pushed the tent flaps back  as the sun smacked him directly in the face, it was  quite warm already

 

 

 

 

 

he squinted his eyes and glanced around the camp  looking for  Negan

 

 

 

 

 

 

His eyes finally landed on the back of the taller man  as he   talked to Dwight, further in the middle of the camp

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched  at the sight of Dwight, and it began to throb at the memory of the  punches he threw at Rick only yesterday

 

 

 

 

 

The bruises   were still  very  visible

 

 

 

 

 

he rubbed his jaw in annoyance and began walking toward the men

 

 

 

 

 

he caught wind of  a few words of their conversation the  closer he got, something about a bank, and in a few days

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  furrowed his brows, getting a feeling  they were talking about something they  wouldn't like a particular deputy to overhear

 

 

 

 

 

Dwight  did a double take when he laid eyes on Rick and went silent almost instantly 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked  back up at Negan quickly, raising his eyebrows and jerking his head toward him

 

 

 

 

 

Negan  turned around, his face going from serious to having that  fucking stupid grin spread across it instantly

 

 

 

 

 

" Well  good  fucking morning   " he grinned broadly, eyes trailing down Rick's body, slowly

 

 

 

 

Rick instantly noticed Negan had his red bandana around his neck and he furrowed his brows at it, wasn't it covered in Rick's blood ??

 

 

 

 

" don't you look fucking god damn fuckable  this morning "  Negan grinned

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes immediately flashed up to Negan and he glanced at Dwight, feeling a red blush rising up his neck

 

 

 

 

 

 

"umm " he said quietly

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you  ready  to go ?? '' he looked at Negan, feeling Dwight's eyes boring into him

 

 

 

 

Negan looked back at Dwight, his face turning  serious

 

 

 

 

"  Can you meet me down at the horses in a minute or two.. ..Dwight and I have got some things to  discuss " he smiled at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick raised his eyebrow, figuring  they wanted to discuss something that was illegal and most probably dangerous

 

 

 

 

 

 

''umm, yeh ok '' Rick glanced at Dwight and turned to leave 

 

 

 

 

 

" Hey...wait up  "  Dwight spoke, making Rick stop in his tracks and turn  around

 

 

 

 

 

" Look man, I'm  sorry about the..... " he motioned to his face

 

 

 

 

"I saw sherry hurt and jumped to the wrong conclusion..I  tend to act first and think later,I judged you without even wanting to get to know you, cause you were someone different.. from a different world, not our world " he looked at his boots

 

 

 

 

Rick knew exactly what he meant, he had judged the saviors without knowing a single one of them, well apart from Negan. Thinking they were all a bunch of savage animals, murdering, stealing, outlaws that needed to be hung for their crimes

 

 

 

 

'' What you did for the kids, the women, that took fucking guts man.....never figured a lawman would give two shits about a bunch of saviors,but..... '' he looked up from his boots

 

 

 

 

 

" Being a lawman didnt have anything to do with it '' Rick snapped, cutting Dwight off

 

 

 

 

 

'' I  did what I did  because two sick bastards were harassing a bunch of women and children " his lip curled up

 

 

 

 

 

 Dwight was silent, looking at him like he had two heads

 

 

 

 

 

'' well...I'm fucking sorry man, I acted like a fucking prick, I hope you can forgive me ??  " he smiled and held out his hand for Rick to shake

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked down at it, slightly stunned at his apology and  glanced up to Negan, who winked at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' sherry tells me you're a decent guy and  Negan seems to trust you, that's all the proof I need ''  he smiled, genuinely

 

 

 

 

 

he took Dwight's hand in his and shook it firmly

 

 

 

 

 

''  I'm an asshole sometimes  '' he smiled, warmly

 

 

 

 

 

"  just sometimes  " Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Dwight laughed as Negan smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick let go of his hand, glancing at a smiling Negan

 

 

 

 

 

''well..ill meet you down there " he smiled, weakly

 

 

 

 

Negan winked at him, as he turned his back on the two men, dreading to think what they were planning when he was out of earshot

 

 

 

 

 

He hadn't gotten too far down to the horse paddock when  he spied fucking Merle Dixon, sitting on a piece of wood, sharpening what looked like a hunting knife

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's stomach turned at the sight of him and his knife and  looked straight ahead, hoping to god he wouldn't notice him and start running his fucking mouth

 

 

 

 

 

"Well lookie here " Merle looked up from his knife

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him and kept walking, quicking his steps 

 

 

 

 

 

" Hey , hey wait  up " he called after Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick continued to walk fast

 

 

 

 

Merle came running up to him, standing in his path, making Rick stop

 

 

 

 

'' where you going in such a hurry  deputy ? '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

" what the fuck do you want Dixon ? '' he snapped

 

 

 

 

 

"Whoa whoa " he put his hands up in mock defense, knife in his hand, making Rick's eyes flick to it instantly

 

 

 

 

 

 the large knife shone in the sun and his heart skipped a beat, his face dropping

 

 

 

 

 

Merle didnt miss Rick's expression and followed his gaze to the knife, and a large grin spread across his face 

 

 

 

 

 

''  Oh ,you like this  ?? " he grinned, moving the knife in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's wide eyes flicked back to the man standing in front of him, feeling like his stomach was in his throat

 

 

 

 

 

" fuck off Merle " Rick tried to sound confident, but he was sure Merle didnt miss the slight crack in his voice, as he attempted to push past him

 

 

 

 

 

" I see you got ya stitches out '' he grinned, stepping in Rick's path, putting his hands down

 

 

 

 

 

Rick swallowed a large lump in his throat, as he tried to ignore the large blade in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

'' Carol did a real good job, I mean you can hardly see the gigantic scar " he began tapping the knife to the side of his face, much like Shane had done, circling Rick, who seemed to be  frozen to the spot

 

 

 

 

what the fuck was wrong with him and knives lately ?? he stabbed that guy in the cave to death and was quite ok about it,he sliced the other asshole's neck..why were knives in other people's hands affecting him so much,he felt like he was fucking paralyzed??

 

 

 

 

 

he felt a drop of sweat roll down his spine, as Merle stalked behind him

 

 

 

 

 

"I saw you when you came in, your face was hanging open, it was fucking  nasty Ricky  " he laughed

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt his jaw clenching

 

 

 

 

 

"   I know what Shane's knife looks like, I mean I know how big that fucker is " he stood in front of a petrified Rick

 

 

 

 

 

''  We used to go out hunting together, I mean I'd watch him   cut open those cute little fucking bunnies like they were  made of thin paper " he jerked the knife in Rick's face, as he flinched

 

 

 

 

Merle grinned

 

 

 

 

" But  damn boy, he was actually cutting into your flesh..those bunnies were already dead, they didnt feel no pain  " he stood in Rick's personal space

 

 

 

 

 

'' But you would of huh...yeh I bet you felt every single, fucking slice " he grinned and brought the knife up to Rick's face

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart was about to explode in his chest, he couldn't move or speak

 

 

 

 

"Every single inch of flesh that ripped open like a fucking gutted rabbit '' he brought the tip of the large knife to Rick's face, his eyes flicking down to his scar

 

 

 

 

Rick felt like he was about to vomit, his guts were in his throat

 

 

 

 

 

"Shredding flesh like fucking paper, damn boy you must have been in a horrendous  amount of fucking pain " he laughed

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widen as Merle dragged the knife down his face and he felt like he was going to fucking pass out, as his head spun

 

 

 

 

 

"lucky you won't ever have to go through that again ay  ? " his eyes flicked  up  to Rick's petrified ones

 

 

 

 

he couldn't breathe, his throat was closing in on its self

 

 

 

 

" I doubt your face would take another fucking slicing and dicing would it deputy prick...I mean i'd rather be dead than go through that kinda torture ever again  " he laughed obnoxiously

 

 

 

 

 

" DIXON '' Negan's voice came  booming from behind Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Merle's stupid grin disappeared almost instantly and he put the knife down, stepping back from Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick let out a shaky breath,as he closed his eyes momentarily

 

 

 

 

 

" Boss "  Merle said, slightly shocked

 

 

 

 

 

" what the fuck did I tell you ? '' He bellowed as he stepped into Rick's side view

 

 

 

 

 

" what ?? I was just fucking with the deputy here wasn't I prick ??  " he grinned at Rick who looked like he'd seen a ghost, all  the color had drained from his face

 

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him and back at Merle, a dangerous scowl spread across his face

 

 

 

 

Merle's expression changed instantly as the tension in the air between the 3 men, felt like a cold winter's breeze

 

 

 

 

 

" Thats EXACTLY what I warned you about ..didnt I  ?? " Negan raised his voice

 

 

 

 

 

Merle glanced at Rick and back at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

"come on Boss, he knows im just jerking his chain '' he laughed, nervously

 

 

 

 

 

'' I  fucking warned you..I told you to fucking quit fucking with Grimes, I told you and now I see you with a fucking knife held to his face " he yelled

 

 

 

 

 

"you had two fucking strikes against you already and you just fucked up your last  one ....give me the  fucking knife" he held out his hand, his eyes trained on Merle, filled with fury

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at Negan and the knife

 

 

 

 

 

Merle glared at Rick 

 

 

 

 

 

"NOW '' Negan roared, making Rick flinch

 

 

 

 

 

Merle curled up his lip and put the knife in Negan's waiting hand, slapping it down angrily

 

 

 

 

 

'' I've fucking had it up to hear with your fucking bullshit " he gestured to his forehead

 

 

 

 

 

"long before Grimes arrived  '' he added

 

 

 

 

 

" I  was only lenient towards you and your fucking behavior because I knew if I kicked you out, Daryl, would have run after you, and  he's too good of a savior to lose, he's a good hunter and tracker and he's a good man..more than  I  can say about you   " he stepped closer to Merle, looking at him, intimidating like

 

 

 

 

 

 

" what..what do you mean kick me out ? '' Merle whispered, looking hurt like that were the only words he heard

 

 

 

 

" But I can tell you for a fucking god damn fact, he doesn't give a fuck if you leave anymore, he told me himself..he's sick of your fucking reckless, drunken bullshit too '' he spat, baring his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

"  you have become a fucking liability Dixon, a fucking pain in everyone's ass, My fucking ass....i can't trust you anymore, you can't even follow simple, clear as fucking daylight,instructions  " he pushed him in the chest, angrily

 

 

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped at the sight of the taller man's dominance over Merle  and he smirked at him

 

 

 

 

Merle's eyes flicked to him and his face twisted

 

 

 

 

 

"what's so funny asshole..huh  ?? you feel all tough now Negan's here fighting your battles for ya ?? you were pissing ya pants here a minute ago ''  he spat and lunged at Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick raised his arm to punch the prick coming at him, but Negan stepped in front of him and punched Merle so hard he fell back on his ass, hitting the ground, uncoordinated

 

 

 

 

 

 

" Im fucking done " he roared, looming over the stunned man, holding his bloody nose

 

 

 

 

 

" You're like a fucking rabid dog...Pack  your fucking things and get the fuck out of my  camp " he yelled 

 

 

 

 

 

'' you are no longer a savior, you are no longer welcome in my camp, and if I see you, or heard you've stepped one fucking foot into my territory ... I will fucking gut you '' he added, venom dripping off his tongue

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked on wide eyed ..it was an extreme punishment, kicking him out of the saviors, even if he  was the biggest asshole around

 

 

 

 

 

"Negan " Rick barely whispered

 

 

 

 

 

" You shut up " he pointed his finger at him, without turning around away from Merle

 

 

 

 

 

" I gave this prick more than enough warnings, but he just kept fucking poking and poking " he spat at Merle

 

 

 

 

 

"If you're still here when I get  back in a few days, I'll fucking make sure it's the last time you  disobey me ....do I make myself fucking clear Dixon '' he spewed down at Merle 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merle looked like a frightened small child cowering on the ground, nothing like the tormenting,  prick that was just in Rick's face

 

 

 

 

 

" what..I can't hear you " Negan yelled, putting his hand over his ear, mockingly

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh " Merle mumbled, looking down into his lap

 

 

 

 

 

"WHAT ?? '' Negan roared

 

 

 

 

 

"YEH " Merle yelled back, glaring up at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

Negan bared his teeth and stood up straight, adjusting his long coat

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now you've wasted enough of my time this morning......let's go Grimes " he turned and stormed past Rick, down to the barn, all before Rick could even blink

 

 

 

 

 

Rick and Merle looked after Negan, stunned

 

 

 

 

 

Merle turned back to Rick and stood up, looking furious, as he wiped his bloody nose on his sleeve

 

 

 

 

 

" you fucking happy now ? '' he sniffed

 

 

 

 

 

" Hey, I'm not the one  who fucking started that " Rick said spat

 

 

 

 

 

"every fucking time you see me, you have to open your fucking big, crude,loud,mouth...this shit is on you, don't go blaming this one on me asshole  " Rick scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

" But that's just what you do, ain't it ?? you blame everyone else for your fuck ups in life, this was my fault, getting locked up every other week, that was Hershel's fault too wasn't it ?? "

 

 

 

 

'' Grow some fucking balls and take some responsibility for your own actions Merle '' he began to walk past Merle and follow Negan who had stormed off so quickly, that Rick couldn't even see him anymore

 

 

 

 

Merle grabbed his bicep firmly in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

"There will come a time where Negan won't be around to protect you deputy prick " he whispered in Rick's ear

 

 

 

 

 

'' And that will be the time you and me are going to have it out..I seen the way you froze at the sight of that  knife...  '' he smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

 

 

'' I look forward to that day, cause I can guarantee you ,you won't be  coming out of it alive " he spat and ripped his arm out of Merle's grasp

 

 

 

 

The two men glared at each other intensely, as both their jaws clenched in resentment

 

 

 

Rick looked Merle up and down and scoffed at the pathetic sight before him and walked away, following Negan

Notes:

Does anybody feel sad for Merle..?? i dont

Chapter 37

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick walked down to the barn

 

 

 

 

" Fuck, you fucking son of a bitch, fucking fucking fuck   " he heard Negan  yelling 

 

 

 

 

Rick sighed and adjusted his hat, walking in the direction  of the foul language

 

 

 

 

 

He rounded the doors  to see Negan,  looking down at a saddle on the ground, he'd obviously dropped, a furious look  on his face

 

 

 

 

Boots and Negan's horse were  in the stalls, looking on at the now highly irate man

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey....you ok ?  '' Rick asked quietly, knowing  he was obviously fucking pissed

 

 

 

 

 

''Do I look fucking ok  ? " he roared, glaring  at Rick, his face fierce

 

 

 

 

 

 

" This  great fucking   heavy fucker  just fell on my fucking foot  " he bared his teeth at the saddle and kicked it a few more times

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at the two horse who twitched their ears at his loud voice

 

 

 

 

 

"you keep kicking it, you'll break your fucking toe " Rick smirked at Negan's outburst

 

 

 

 

 

He  flashed his eyes up to Rick, filled with malice

 

 

 

 

 

" What the fuck was that out there  ??  you were just standing there like a stale bottle of fucking piss, why didnt you fucking knock him the fuck out,  you've done before when he's mouthing off to you ?? '' he yelled, waving his hands around

 

 

 

 

 

 

the conversation turned quickly into the real  reason for  Negan's outburst and it wasn't the  fallen saddle

 

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt want Negan to know the full extent of this new paralyzing fear he had suddenly developed over knives and he narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' So that shit was my fucking fault.....is that it ?? '' Rick spat, hoping to sway the conversation away from his reaction

 

 

 

 

 

" Did I fucking say that  ??  " Negan yelled, walking over to the bench aginst the wall

 

 

 

 

 

'' No one asked you to fucking step in Negan "' Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

'' I fucking told him, I asked him to just let  the shit with you  go, but nooo ...." he yelled

 

 

 

 

 

"look I know Merle's a complete fucking asshole, but don't you think kicking him out of the saviors was a bit ..'' he paused trying to think of the right words that wouldn't anger Negan

 

 

 

 

 

The older man spun around, hands still on his hips, the look on his face told Rick he should shut his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

" A bit what? '' he cocked his head to the side

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

 

 

Negan sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose

 

 

 

 

'' This is not how I wanted our day  to  start ....that fuck " he yelled again and  smashed his hand down on the bench beside him, making various tools  rattle under his anger

 

 

 

 

 

Rick flinched

 

 

 

 

 

'' Hey '' he said quietly

 

 

 

 

 

Negan didnt look up from the bench

 

 

 

 

 

" If you don't wanna go anymore,i..I get it '' Rick shoved  his hands in his pants pockets, sounded disappointed

 

 

 

 

 

Negan looked up and his face softened

 

 

 

 

 

" Of corse I wanna go baby  " he walked toward him

 

 

 

 

 

" Hey ..I'm sorry... '' He smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled as Negan crowded him, putting  his arms on Rick's shoulders, his face inches from him

 

 

 

 

 

" I'm not gonna let that fuck Merle Dixon put me in a fucking shit mood " he smirked, eyes flicking  down to  Rick's lips

 

 

 

 

 

 

"But you are in a fucking bad mood " Rick furrowed his  brows

 

 

 

 

 

''shut up Grimes  '' Negan smirked and grabbed the back of Rick's head, crushing their lips together, hard enough for their teeth to smash together

 

 

 

 

 

He  wrapped his arms around Rick's back , pulling him closer

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick melted into his arms, feeling instantly safe, as he opened his mouth for Negan's tongue to enter

 

 

 

 

 

Negan complied and stuck his tongue in his mouth as they danced around each other, making Rick's stomach flip and his dick twitch

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  pulled off, abruptly, looking down at the ground

 

 

 

 

 

"umm we'd better get going '' he glanced over at the two horses, who were  looking at the two men curiously

 

 

 

 

 

Negan's hooded eyes looking down at him, a small smirk on his face

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, you're probably right.....I will  have plenty of time to stick my tongue in various places later tonight '' he winked and stepped back just enough to  trail his eyes down Rick's body slowly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt a twinge of excitement flutter in the pit of his stomach and he blushing slightly

 

 

 

 

'' That fucking blush " Negan purred, as he stepped back  in front of Rick,mouth close to his ear

 

 

 

 

 

'' I cant wait to get you all alone Grimes, I'm gonna show you what 2 years of pent up fucking sexual want for that fine ass has done to me " he whispered in his ear

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's eyes widen in surprise

 

 

 

 

 

'' I'm gonna fuck you so fucking hard, you won't be able to  ride that damn horse comfortably for a fucking month '' he purred

 

 

 

 

 

he grabbed Rick's dick in his pants and licked the shell of his ear

 

 

 

 

 

Rick almost chocked on his own saliva  in shock as his breath hitched in his throat

 

 

 

 

 

 

''you like the sound of that,huh ? '' he whispered huskily, his voice about to fucking snap Rick in two

 

 

 

 

 

''Tell me Rick, how long has it been since anyone fucked that sweet ass of yours??  fucked it like it deserves to be  ?? huh..i bet you had fucking men tripping  over their own god damn feet  over you  '' he pawed at Rick's now hard dick through his pants

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's mouth hung open slightly, he was literally putty in Negan's hands

 

 

 

 

 

''  No one  can  fuck you like I can, make you come on my hard cock, like  I can  " he whispered, palming at Rick's dick

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes as  his heart raced, feeling his dick throbbing

 

 

 

 

 

'' I would  fucking kill anyone who  lay their filthy fucking hands on you " his voice  was like a fucking drug to Rick's ears and he needed more

 

 

 

 

 

he tilted his head  back, slightly

 

 

 

 

" You need someone who will take control ..that's what you like isn't it Grimes..you want to be taken..I know what you like, make you forget  " he grabbed a handful of Rick's curls at his nape, tilting his head back, exposing his neck, and began kissing and biting Rick's exposed  skin 

 

 

 

 

Rick was overly aroused and  wanted to feel Negan's rough fingers wrapped around his dick, not palming him through his pants

 

 

 

 

 

" Please.. I... '' he stammered as Negan kissed up his neck

 

 

 

 

 

" hmmm what baby " he whispered and  bit him playfully in the side of the throat

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  was about to fucking explode in his pants

 

 

 

 

 

Negan ran his thumb over Rick's slit, the pesky fabric taking away the friction Rick needed badly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was seeing stars

 

 

 

 

 

" Im about to fucking cum in my fucking pants if you don't get your hands on my cock " he spat

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed against his neck and pulled back, taking his hand away, looking smug 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's  cheeks were flushed red, his  pupils blown,  as he stood there in front of Negan with a fucking hard on in his pants

 

 

 

 

 

Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

 

"well good to see I can still get you fucking hard after all this time " he folded his arms, smiling down at Rick's pants

 

 

 

 

 

"what !!  " Rick blinked stupidly

 

 

 

 

 

"you just gonna leave me like this " he waved his hand at his erection in his pants

 

 

 

 

 

"plenty of time for that later Grimes..come on let's get these horses saddled up and get moving, I don't want to get there too late " he smiled and turned around, picking up the large saddle from the floor he was kicking  previously

 

 

 

 

 

Rick stood in a stupor as Negan glanced at him and  walked toward the two horses in the stalls, smirking at Rick's expression 

 

 

 

 

 

" well come on ..don't just stand there holding ya fucking dick Grimes  " he winked at Rick, opening the stall to his horse and walking in

 

 

 

 

 

Fucker had just fucking played him, Rick's jaw twitched in irritation..- well two could play at that game-he thought to himself, as he adjusted his dick in his pants, sighing loudly

 

 

 

 

 

He picked up his saddle from the side and threw the stall door open, making it slam against the one next to it, startling Boots slightly

 

 

 

 

 

" sorry boy " he whispered to him, running a hand down his muzzle

 

 

 

 

 

He threw a  blanket over his back and secured the saddle firmly, looking around for the bridle

 

 

 

 

 

he looked over at the bench against the wall and sure enough, There were some   hanging on hooks, above it

 

 

 

 

 

He left  the stall, closing the door behind him and reached up high to get the bridle down

 

 

 

 

he turned back around and saw Negan leaning on the gate, his arms hanging loosely over its wooden frame, grinning at him 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, frustrated  eyes just visible underneath his hat 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed out loud and left the stall, closing the gate behind him

 

 

 

 

"come on baby, don't give me that fucking stink eye  cause I left ya with blue balls..do  you know how much fucking will power it took for me to fucking just walk  away from you before  ? '' he smirked, stalking closer to Rick

 

 

 

 

" Then why did you ? '' Rick spat, leaning on the bench, arms folded across his chest

 

 

 

 

" Cause I don't wanna fuck you on the filthy fucking barn floor, that's why   " he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

Rick scoffed

 

 

 

 

" we've done it in worse places than this before  and you never fucking cared about it being too grotty  " Rick shrugged

 

 

 

 

 

 

"well this time it's different " Negan furrowed his brows, looking at his boots

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's face softened 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' You're in for  a real fucking surprise   this afternoon  " he grinned, showing his white teeth

 

 

 

 

 

 

" Oh yeh '' Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Negan moved closer to him, eyes trailing down his body

 

 

 

 

 

" I'm going to treat you like a fucking king Rick Grimes " he smiled broadly, like he was impressed  with his own promise

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smirked and looked down at his boots

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' You know I've never taken anyone where im taking you ...no one has  been fucking worthy enough..not even close '' he  said quietly, his tone turning serious

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked up at him, his face  was filled with a sadness he couldn't explain and his eyes fell to his bandana around his neck

 

 

 

he touched it between his thumb and forefinger

 

 

 

 

"I thought I bled all over this " he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced down at it 

 

 

 

 

 

"Carol washed it  and gave it back  to me this morning " he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

'' She's a damn fine woman '' Rick smiled up at him

 

 

 

 

 

"she sure is " Negan grinned and leaned down to kiss Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Someone clearing their throat made both men pull apart and look towards the open barn doors

 

 

 

 

 

 Daryl was standing by the double doors, his crossbow sitting on his shoulder comfortably, looking sheepish

 

 

 

 

 

"Boss..can I have a quick word before you leave ?? " he glanced at Rick 

 

 

 

 

 

no doubt he was there to talk about Merle and plead his case for his asshole brother

 

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

"ill be right back, can you finish  saddling Ragnar up for me  ? " he smiled 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick nodded

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan put his hand  on Rick's shoulder, the warm  hand making him feel  a sense of loss when he removed it

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watched Negan walk over to Daryl,  as Daryl gave Rick a weak smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick did the same and watched the two men walk  out of his vision around the corner  and out of earshot 

 

 

 

 

 

He turned back to the two horses, who had their heads hanging over the stall doors

 

 

 

 

 

He smiled at them and walked towards boots to finish getting him ready to ride

 

 

 

 

 

The sweat was dripping off him   when he   finished getting both horses ready to ride

 

 

 

 

 

he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it over Ragnar's  stall door, wiping his brow with the back of his hand

 

 

 

 

 

"Fuck me !! it's fucking hot in here " he  huffed, patting  Negan's horse on his quarter

 

 

 

 

 

A loud wolf whistle, made Rick flinch and look to the side in surprise

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan was leaning on the stall door, grinning at Rick  like a moron

 

 

 

 

 

'' It sure is deputy " he wiggles his eyebrows up and down, suggestively

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick rolled his eyes, as he grabbed his damp shirt off the stall door and put it back on, leaving it unbuttoned

 

 

 

 

 

''shut the fuck up will you, Daryl might hear you ''  He spat, pushing the  door  open angrily, making Negan move out of the way quickly

 

 

 

 

 

'' Calm ya tits Rick, he's  long  gone" Negan grinned

 

 

 

 

 

" what took you so long ?? I finished saddling up both horses '' Rick snapped and began doing up the buttons of his shirt, his back to Negan

 

 

 

 

 

 

"well thank you honey " he said, smugly

 

 

 

 

 

'' so Did he try and sway your decision about kicking  Merle out ??  " he huffed, doing up the last button

 

 

 

 

 

"well yeh, he tried, but it didnt work,he knows he was on his last fucking warning  "  Negan spat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick turned around as Negan was leaning on Ragnar's stall, his eyes trained on  Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 

" What ? '' he spat...he hated when anyone stared at him like Negan was doing right now, it was unnerving

 

 

 

 

 

" Oh, I'm just  wondering how I got so damn lucky bagging a sexy mother fucker  like you '' he  cocked his head to the side, grinning his stupid grin

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's face twitched in irritation 

 

 

 

 

 

" Are you ready or what, I think we've wasted enough daylight don't you ??  " Rick raised an eyebrow at him and put his satchel bag on across his torso

 

 

 

 

 

" Hey " he said , pushing himself off the stall door

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at him stalking toward him

 

 

 

 

 

" When are you gonna believe me when I say you are gorgeous Rick  ? " he furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked  down at his boots, leaning on the tool bench, kicking the  dirt slightly, feeling Negan's intense eyes boring into him

 

 

 

 

 

Negan walked right up to him and put a finger under his chin, lifting his head  up, so their eyes met 

 

 

 

 

 

''  What my fucking cock sucking, rapist fucking piece of shit brother did  to you....did to your face " he glanced at the scar on the side of his face

 

 

 

 

 

 

" Rick baby, it doesn't  change the  way I feel about you '' he reached his hand up to Rick's face and Rick flinched 

 

 

 

 

 

'' You're still fucking god damn perfect to me " he smiled, his eyes flicking up to his scar,as he ran a thumb down the jagged line

 

 

 

 

" And I will make it my fucking mission in life  to make  damn sure you feel like the sexy mother fucker you are Rick Grimes...every single day  '' He grinned

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled and closed his eyes, tilting  his head into Negan's hand 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry " he whispered

 

 

 

 

 

 

" I don't know  why you put up with me  and my fucking neurotic shit  ?? " he opened his eyes 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Cause you got a fine ass deputy " he winked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pouted as Negan took his  hand from Rick's cheek, trailing it behind his head, squeezing his nape, gently, and pulling him forward to his lips

 

 

 

 

 

Rick wrapped his arms around the older man's back, squeezing him tightly, never wanting to let go as they kissed passionately

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled  back just  enough so Rick  still felt his breath on his lips

 

 

 

 

 

"let's get the fuck out of here cowboy " he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled and let go of Negan, watching the taller man walk backward, winking at him

 

 

 

 

Butterflies filled Rick's stomach with the unknown anticipation of where the hell Negan was taking him

 

Notes:

Yay !! they are finally on their way for a little R &; R ❤

Chapter Text

 

 

 

HI ALL 🥰

 

jUST LETTING YOU KNOW I HAVE ADDED SOME NEW  STUFF TO THE END OF CHAPTER -34

 

THE ENTIRE CHAPTER - 35

 

AND THE START OF CHAPTER - 36

 

 

 

I ONLY JUST RE READ THEM AND REALISED I DIDNT EVEN WRITE  ANYTHING ABOUT  PATCHING RICK'S  AMR UP AFTER HE CUT HIMSELF WHILE HIGH

 

 

 

AND I STARTED THE BOY's LIL GETAWAY WITHOUT NEGAN'S BANDANA-a prominent piece of clothing to him

 

 

New chapter up by tomorrow 😁

Chapter 39

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

 

It felt so good to be riding a horse again, it had only been around 2 weeks since Rick was in the saddle, but it felt  more like a 2 years

 

 

 

 

 

All  he could hear was the sound of steady hooves galloping beneath him and snorting of  air as Boots ran fast

 

 

 

 

 

Rick had got him up to a good speed now, The sun shone on his face and the dust kicked up, he breathed  the fresh air into his lungs...he felt alive again

 

 

 

 

 

Oh course Negan was the fucking competitive type and challenged Rick to a race a few miles back

 

 

 

 

 

They started out neck to neck, but Negan got the upper hand, only because Rick's shoulder began to fucking niggle and he had to slow down

 

 

 

 

 

 it was now throbbing if he was being honest with himself

 

 

 

 

 

He saw Ragnar up ahead, standing near a tree, eating some grass, Negan was nowhere to be seen 

 

 

 

 

 

It was the perfect time for a rest and  some  opium, as he felt a  migraine beginning to pound in his head along with  his shoulder seezing up

 

 

 

 

 

" Whoa Boy " he yelled and pulled the reins as Boots came to a hault near Ragnar

 

 

 

 

" Oh you finally caught up   "  Negan stuck his head out from behind the tree,a stupid smirk on his fcae

 

 

 

 

 

Rick scoffed to himself, dismounting Boots and rubbing his shoulder

 

 

 

 

 

" you ok  ?? " Negan asked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick turned to him,  as he did his fly up  after taking a piss

 

 

 

 

" What ? '' he asked dumbly

 

 

 

 

"your shoulder " Negan jerked his head to Rick's shoulder as he walked over to Ragnar, pulling his canteen of water out of his saddlebag

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh just a niggle '' Rick rolled his shoulder in a circle, pressing his hand into it

 

 

 

 

 

"Maybe I went too hard on that race I let you win "' he smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Negan almost spat out all the water in his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

" let me win ..fuck off Grimes, I'm just a better rider than you and we both know it "he smirked sitting down, leaning his back on the nearby tree, pulling a rolled cigarette out of his top pocket

 

 

 

 

Rick fished out his opium bottle from his bag and walked over to Negan with his canteen of water in the other hand,sitting down opposite him

 

 

 

 

He poured 3 out into his palm, throwing them into his mouth followed by some water

 

 

 

 

 

He glanced at Negan while he was taking a drink, his mouth not leaving the  canteen top

 

 

 

 

 

his eyes were on Rick  as he  lit a match  behind his hand, covering it from the wind

 

 

 

 

 

Rick ignored  his eyes on him and watched the man light the end of his cigarette, waving the match back and forth putting the burning flame out, inhaling the tabacoo deeply into his lungs

 

 

 

 

 

'' so '' he began

 

 

 

 

 

"How far have we got to go ?? ''

 

 

 

 

 

" Well if I tell ya it won't be a surprise now will it " he winked at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

''  you know I fucking hate surprises, and  you won't tell me a thing about  where we are going '' Rick sipped his water, pouting

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan inhaled his cigarette, eyeing Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 

" did I ever tell you how fucking adorable you are when you pout  like that Grimes ? " he smirked

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm not fucking pouting " Rick glared at him

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed as smoke came out of his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

" It doesn't matter where we are going, All you have to do is enjoy yourself for the next few days...ok ?? ....you think you can do that for me ? '' he grinned at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at the grass he was sitting on 

 

 

 

 

 

"guess so " he shrugged

 

 

 

 

 

the throbbing in his shoulder was now fading, like his migraine. Opium was a fucking miracle drug and he didn't care if anybody else thought it was addictive, it worked for him and that was all that mattered

 

 

 

 

 

Rick sat back, with his palms on the soft grass, legs outstretched, crossed at the ankles, looking at Negan smoking. He was  god damn gorgeous, even more so when he smoked

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him

 

 

 

 

 

"What you looking at Grimes ?? " he smirked, taking his cigarette out of his mouth, flicking some ash off onto the grass

 

 

 

 

 

'' You,you're beautiful  ? '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Negan smirked, through his cigarette

 

 

 

 

'' well shit Rick, you sure know how to make a man fucking blush  don't ya " he winked at him

 

 

 

 

 

 

"do you remember when we first met ? '' Rick smiled

 

 

 

 

 

'' Of course, I do, you fucking handcuffed me  and locked me up in those cells '' Negan scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

 

"because you were drunk off your ass, shooting your gun at the moon '' Rick laughed

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's face went serious

 

 

 

 

 

"I was watching you in the cells  that night, smoking, just like you are now, I  couldn't take my eyes off you, off your lips, the way you brought the smoke up to your mouth was intoxicating " he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

 

'' Even though you were drunk, you held yourself with such  confidence, I can't explain it, everything about you drew me in " he said furrowing his brows

 

 

 

 

 

" that's because I'm fucking irresistible, I mean who could have resisted my charms ??   '' he inhaled his smoke, smirking at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent and picked at a blade of grass

 

 

 

 

 

 

''  who would have thought that through that drunken encounter, we'd still be together, all these years later ''  Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Is that what we are...'' he glanced at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

'' Together "

 

 

 

 

 

"I dunno Rick, what do you class us as  ? '' he narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at the grass

 

 

 

 

 

" I mean I'm not asking you to fucking marry me or anything '' Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt strange.. They never really had a discussion about what they  were  to each other, were they together, like out to the saviors together, he assumed they knew, well definitely Carol, Daryl and Dwight, and the girls knew,but the others ?? what would this family think...he felt like he was betraying Lori

 

 

 

 

 

"  Hey " Negan brought his knee down, sitting forward

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at him

 

 

 

 

 

"it's ok Rick,I'm not asking for an answer right now " he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled weakly at him

 

 

 

 

Negan's face  turned  serious

 

 

 

 

 

" I love you, Rick,you know that right ? '' he said seriously

 

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked stupidly at  him

 

 

 

 

"yeah i know I love you too "

 

 

 

 

 

"No, I mean it..... I  love you " He said again seriously

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh and I love you " Rick repeated, furrowing his brows wondering why Negan was repeating himself

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent and narrowed his eyes, sitting back against the tree

 

 

 

 

"you see when you say that I can't help but wonder if you mean it or you're just saying it ... I know you loved Lori, You loved her a different way, I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her...and  I'm wondering if you'll ever love like that again..if you'll ever let yourself be loved like that again '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent...he did love Lori, maybe Negan was right, he loved them in different ways, but he knew he loved Negan and he wanted to be with him, but it was different with him than it was with Lori and he couldn't explain why

 

 

 

 

'' come on Grimes, let's get moving, we aren't  far away now  " Negan stood up, pulling Rick from his thoughts as he put his cigarette out on the tree trunk, making its ember  ashes flick off the bark

 

 

 

 

He stood up looking at Negan

 

 

 

 

" Hey '' he said, as Negan glanced at him

 

 

 

 

 

"  You don't know how I loved Lori, so you can't presume that I loved her more..I love you '' he touched Negan's arm, his eyes filled with genuine feelings

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan smiled at him and kissed him on the lips, pulling back ever so slightly

 

 

 

 

 

 

" I know honey....come on '' he smiled weakly like he didn't believe Rick  

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled back and got on top of Boots as he watched Negan  climb up in Ragnar's saddle, his long coat trailing over the animal's back, pulling the reigns to get him moving

 

 

 

 

 

" I won't suggest another race, cause winning two in a row would just be fucking showing off " he winked at Rick, pulling his bandana up over his face, so it sat  just under his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

"  yeh and we all know how much you hate to win " Rick smirked, pushing his hat down so it sat  just above his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Before Negan could  bite back, Rick  squeezed his thighs together and pulled on the reins, making  Boots take off like a fire was lit under his ass

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked back and saw Negan riding after him and he smiled, looking back to the front, head down, back hunched, making Boots gallop faster

 

 

 

 

 

After a while, Rick   slowed down, letting Negan catch up, knowing full well he   had let him lead  and  they trotted slowly side by side in a comfortable silence

 

 

 

 

 

 

''it's just over that hill  '' Negan smiled at him, pushed his hat down, and flicked Ragnar's reins before Rick even blinked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pushed his hat down as far as it would go and squeezed his thighs together making Boots take off 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked up to see  Negan on Ragnar, standing on top of a hill and followed him up

 

 

 

 

 

he  pulled the  reigns for boots to stop, pulling his muscles in his shoulder tightly 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" well  there she is  " Negan  jerked his head down the hill

 

 

 

 

Rick followed his gaze and his eyes fell on a magnificent   2 story  Victorian style,  country farmhouse, complete with a pitched roof, wraparound front porch, cylindrical turrets  roof towers and multilevel porches

 

 

 

 

 

The beautiful home had a dirt path leading down from the front porch, with large trees lining it on either side and a white picket fence surrounding it  

 

 

 

 

 

several horses were running in the fields beside the house. There was a barn on one side, and horse stables next to it

 

 

 

 

 

'' Come on " Negan said ,pulling Ragnar's reins and disappearing down the hill before Rick could say anything

 

 

 

 

 

 he squeezed his legs together  slightly, feeling anxious about the grand house as he rode down the hill and over to the house

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan and Rick trotted down the dirt path leading up to the porch, as the tall trees swayed above them in the breeze and the scent of sweet flowers filled the air

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan  dismounted Ragnar and tied his reins up to the wooden railing that was encompassing the wrap  around porch

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' who's house is this ? ''  Rick whispered to him on top of Boots still, like someone would hear him, raising his eyebrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

''Come on " Negan grinned, jerking his head towards the house

 

 

 

 

 

Rick got off Boots and tied him up with Ragnar, patting the side of his neck as he passed him and took the 4 steps up onto the grand porch

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick's boots scuffed the beautifully  painted wood of the porch as  he glanced at the  set of matching tables and chairs  sitting outside ,overlooking the horses

 

 

 

 

 

Negan opened the front door and walked in like he owned the place

 

 

 

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing ? '' Rick said shocked, looking around as if Negan was entering some rich people's house

 

 

 

 

 

 

"it's okay'' he smiled and did a double take at Rick's face

 

 

 

 

 

'' Don't worry, I'm not robbing the fucking  place, I know the owners... they agreed to let me have it for a few days, while they have gone out of town in exchange for me looking after the animals ''

 

 

 

 

 

He turned back to the door

 

 

 

 

 

'' This  place is all ours for the next few days...so stop looking like you have a cactus shoved up your ass and smile " he winked at Rick, disappearing into the house

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glared after him...he did not look like he had a cactus up his as...did he ??

 

 

 

 

 

 

He turned back around to look at Boots and Ragnar who were eating some grass nearby, hands on his hips, sighing

 

 

 

 

 

he looked out at the scene that fell before him, it was beautiful, green pastures  surrounded by rolling hills and nothing but complete silence

 

 

 

 

 

he could easily see himself sitting out here in the afternoons sipping on some whiskey, feet up, watching the sun go down

 

 

 

 

 

"  Are you gonna stand out there all day?  '' Negan called from inside, pulling him from his daydreaming

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick turned to him and walked inside, closing the door behind him

 

 

 

 

 

A large staircase leading to the second story was the first thing that caught Rick's eye, on one side of the wall

 

 

 

 

 

Negan was hanging  his hat and coat on a hook, that was erected on the wall beside a large mirror and tall table,by the fornt door, where he threw his bag

 

 

 

 

Rick flinched as his roughness on such beautiful furniture

 

 

 

 

 

He looked in the room directly to his right and took a few steps into it

 

 

 

 

 

It was a  sitting room , with heavy curtains, flowery wallpaper, beautiful leather  couches, several tea tables beside them with a rug sitting in the middle,an open fireplace sat grandly in the center of the room with a mantlepiece surrounding it, filled with candles and various nick nacks

 

 

 

 

 

A large  picture of a  beautiful woman hung  above it,it was hand painted in a beautiful wooden frame with carvings around the edges

 

 

 

 

 

although beautiful, she had a  look of sadness in her eyes, something Rick could put his finger on

 

 

 

 

 

'' Come on I wanna show you the rest of the house "  Negan was suddenly standing beside him

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced at him as his face seemed to drop as he looked at the picture hanging on the wall

 

 

 

 

 

 a sense of mourning  fell over his face, much  like the look on the woman's face 

 

 

 

 

" what's wrong " Rick took his hand in his

 

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment

 

 

 

 

'' Nothing..I just haven't seen that picture for a long time..it wasn't in this room the  last time I was here " he stared at the painting  like hed seen a ghost

 

 

 

 

 

" who is she, she's beautiful ?? '' Rick looked at the picture

 

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent once again,staring paralyzed like at the painting

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  squeezed his hand and Negan looked down at it dumbly

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the older man

 

 

 

 

 

''who is she ?  '' he asked again

 

 

 

 

 

'' Oh umm..'' Negan furrowed his brows looking at the painting once again

 

 

 

 

 

"she was the owner's daughter, she died several years ago'' he stared at the picture

 

 

 

 

 

'' Hey, are you ok ??  " Rick put his hand on Negan's shoulder and he flinched slightly

 

 

 

 

"what ? '' Negan looked at  him like he didn't hear a word he said

 

 

 

 

 

''Are you ok ? '' Rick asked concerned 

 

 

 

 

 

" Of course I am..., I'm  in this fucking amazing house with the sexiest man on earth " he grinned, showing his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

something was off , like Negan wasn't telling him the real story of who this woman was

 

 

 

 

 

'' Come on I want to show you around  " he pecked Rick on the lips quickly and walked out of the room

 

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at the painting and followed Negan back out into the entranceway, hanging his hat up on the hook and placing his bag on the table gently

 

 

 

 

 

he followed him down the spacious hallway where he passed a closed door that Negan seemed to have  walked  directly past

 

 

 

 

 

" what's in here  ??  " Rick asked

 

 

 

 

Negan stilled and  his back seemed to stiffen

 

 

 

 

 

''Nothing..come on  '' he said flatly and walked onwards

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked down at the black  metal handle of the door knob,his curiosity peeking

 

 

 

 

 

the Room in the back of the house was   another large  sitting room like the one they had  previously been standing in, furnished much the same, but this one had  tall vertical windows that could be opened up that led out into a beautiful garden, filled with a sitting area with a table and chairs and more sweet smelling flowers and even a bird feeder

 

 

 

 

next, they walked into the  kitchen 

 

 

 

 

the upper walls were  timber painted white with the lower half covered in tiles, a table sat in the middle for preparing meals, Shelves were lined with various pots and utensils for cooking and some crockery, an icebox, wood cookstove, butcher block and even a  sink finished it off

 

 

 

 

'' This place is fucking amazing Negan ''  Rick  said in awe, eyes wide looking around

 

 

 

 

 

'' come on there's more '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled Rick by his hand like an excitable child

 

 

 

 

He opened yet another door to reveal a grand dining room with a large mahogany table and several chairs with carvings down the back of each one and velvet cushions. The table was set with  fine china, silver cutlery beside each plate and wine glasses

 

 

 

 

a chandelier hung in the middle of the room, making a grand statement,a chunky style sideboard sat in the corner of the room, an open  fireplace, beautifully  hand painted paintings hung on the  walls, and various large potted plants in every available spare space made the room complete

 

 

 

 

'' come on you haven't seen the best bit yet "Negan smiled

 

 

 

 

 

" what the fuck can top all this ? '' Rick said wide eyed

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed behind Rick and disappeared out of the room

 

 

 

 

 

Rick took another minute to take in the grand room

 

 

 

 

''bring ya bag up '' Negan called out

 

 

 

 

Rick stuck his head around the corner of the doorway, seeing Negan taking the staircase, two steps at a time

 

 

 

 

He walked down the hallway stopping at the  closed door,his curiosity niggling in his veins

 

 

 

 

 

why was this the only room they hadn't been in to explore ?? what was in there ??

 

 

 

 

he put his hand over the handle, freezing just  as his palm touched the cold brass

 

 

 

 

No this wasn't right,he was no fucking snoop, even if the room was a mystery

 

 

 

 

 

he grabbed his bag from the table, and followed Negan up the staircase, running his hand along the fine smooth timber of the hand rail

 

 

 

 

 

several stairs led to a landing where it was lined with various doors all with brass   handles and a long rug running along the floor

 

 

 

 

 

'' Negan '' Rick called out feeling he had lost the man in the large house

 

 

 

 

"in here baby " he heard his voice from the furthermost room 

 

 

 

 

He walked into a magnificent bedroom,it literally made Rick drop his  bag in awe

 

 

 

 

A large bed ,made out of  dark mahogany, with an iron frame sat in the middle of the room, high off the ground so rick was pretty sure he'd actually have to take a running jump to get on it

 

 

 

 

on either side   were 2 matching bedside tables, with engravings of flowers  etched into  the wood, made out of similar dark wood as the bed

 

 

 

 

to the right,  was a grand dressing table with small drawers and a small wood framed mirror in a curved design. A small open backed chair, with a well padded seat in matching wood, was tucked underneath it

 

 

 

 

An enormous wardrobe  was on Rick's left, with a large length mirror running down both sides

 

 

 

 

A  comfortable looking  chair sat in the corner of the room and a porcelain washbowl was next to it sitting on top of a beautiful tall stool, which was in the same dark wood as the bed and bedside tables

 

 

 

 

Various paintings hung on the walls and several plants fitted into place like it was styled by a professional

 

 

 

 

 

Two large glass doors opened out to a small porch over looking the back garden  and  a large flowery rug completed the room

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's felt very out of place in the grand room

 

 

 

 

 

"Nice huh  ?? "' Negan grinned standing next to Rick, making him close his mouth quickly

 

 

 

 

 

"its..its beautiful, the entire house is  '' Rick said in awe

 

 

 

 

he stepped toward the bed, pressing his hand down on the soft mattress,he hadn't slept in an actual bed for around 3 years now

 

 

 

 

The bed he shared with Lori being the last time

 

 

 

 

 

"come on " he laughed

 

 

 

 

Rick blinked and followed Negan down the hallway, what the hell could top that bed ??

 

 

 

 

Negan was holding open a door to another room,  his stupid wolf grin plastered across his face

 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the taller man as he stuck his head around the corner to discover a washroom

 

 

 

 

 

 it was more beautiful than the bedroom he was just in if that was even possible

 

 

 

 

 

The walls were fully  tiled  in a subtle shade of white, with each tile having small blue flowers in each of its corners, A large free standing bath was in the center of the room, with slippered brass feet with big black taps at one end

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart almost exploded, most houses didn't have indoor tubs with actual running water 

 

 

 

 

a large cistern was over in one corner and Rick looked at it in awe, only very privileged folk had inside toilets with plumbing

 

 

 

 

 

the other end had a porcelain, pedestal sink with a mirror hanging above it 

 

 

 

 

large paintings and a towel rail with fresh  Towles were over on the side

 

 

 

 

'' We got ourselves a fucking bath Grimes..." Negan purred in Rick's ear, looping his arms around his waist

 

 

 

 

 

"I can see that '' Rick said still stunned at the amazing house

 

 

 

 

 

 

he began kissing Rick's neck

 

 

 

 

 

'' come on let's get the horses settled" he  took his arms from around Rick's waist and  disappeared around the door

 

 

 

 

 

Rick knew something was wrong, Negan was acting weird and who's house was this ?? 

 

 

 

 

 

he looked down at the tub, running his fingers along the beautiful porcelain rim

 

 

 

 

 

It looked so damn inviting and he wanted nothing more than to jump right in and soak his tired and sore body

 

 

 

 

 

he sighed loudly and followed Negan back downstairs and out the front door

 

 

 

 

 

As they took their horses over to the stables  Negan pointed out the other four horses who lived on the property   and their names

 

 

 

 

 

 They entered the stables and took their riding gear off their horses

 

 

 

 

Rick finished first and hung the gear up on the hooks provided

 

 

 

 

 

" so how the hell do you know rich folk well enough for them to let you take over their mansion for a few days anyway  ? '' he leaned against the bench across from Negan's stall,arms crossed across his chest

 

 

 

 

 

Negan came out of the stall, carrying his saddle, and walked over to the bench

 

 

 

 

''I don't solely associate  myself with outlaws and murders Rick '' he said, a slightly irritated  tone to his voice

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I didn't mean it like that '' he frowned, sounding defensive

 

 

 

 

 

'' I know that baby, I'm just  fucking with you '' He smirked, putting the saddle on the bench, turning to face Rick

 

 

 

 

 

'' I've known the family for years, I actually started out as a farmhand here and they kinda took me in as one of their own ''he shrugged

 

 

 

 

 

" When I left, they  always welcomed me back  and stay whenever I feel like getting away from  camp " he laughed 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked down at his boots

 

 

 

 

 

" Did they know you were going back to the  saviors, I'm sure even way out here they would of heard of you, the things your gang did  ??   " he said, genuinely confused as to what rich people would think

 

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent as his jaw twitched 

 

 

 

 

'' No they didn't,they still don't '' he said slightly irritated

 

 

 

 

 

"They think I just hang out with some other people, you know away from this place..they know I'm not really impressed by all this high end rich shit " he shrugged

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"God if I had a place like this, I would never leave " Rick smiled, looking out of the stables at the beautiful house

 

 

 

 

 

'' Really ? '' Negan raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

 

" yeh ! I mean  look at this fucking place, it's amazing " he smiled at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

"guess I didn't think you'd  ever leave Black River " he narrowed his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick was silent and looked down at his boots..he had forgotten all  about Black River and having to return there soon, the girls, his family, how could he be so fucking selfish ?? they were all he had left

 

 

 

 

 

'' Yeh  I guess you're right " he scoffed, looking over at boots who  had his head hanging over the stall door

 

 

 

 

 

'' Hey " Negan said quietly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked over at him as he walked toward him

 

 

 

 

 

"  I wanted to make sure the time was right to bring you here '' his face serious

 

 

 

 

 

 

" right for what ? '' Rick questioned

 

 

 

 

 

'' well, I wanted to tell you something...something  I didn't think you could have handled before  now '' his tone turned serious

 

 

 

 

 

'' Like what  ?? '' Rick furrowed his brows, suddenly remembering what Carol had said, that Negan wanted to find that happiness again like he had found it previously with someone else, someone important to him

 

 

 

 

Negan walked closer to Rick, a strange look of conflict on his face

 

 

 

 

 

 Boots  suddenly  whinnied  over the stall door, snorting loudly, making a fuss

 

 

 

 

 

Both men looked over at him

 

 

 

 

 

" It doesn't matter, lets's get these horses fed " Negan backed away from Rick

 

 

 

 

 

"No, they can wait another second " Rick grabbed his forearm and he stilled

 

 

 

 

 

" tell me what ?? ' Rick furrowed his brows, feeling anxious in his guts

 

 

 

 

 

Negan looked at him with so much emotion in his eyes,it actually hurt Rick to see him so upset about something 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Tell me...what you dont think ill understand ?? '' Rick smiled weakly, internally not wanting to know what was making Negan so uncomfortable

 

 

 

 

 

'' I ..I know you'll understand but then again you might not. and ....I don't want to lose you Grimes " he stepped toward Rick

 

 

 

 

 

'' I'm not going anywhere, I swear " Rick put both hands on the sides of Negan's face

 

 

 

 

 

Negan leaned in to kiss Rick when Ragnar whinnied and snorted over his door, making Negan pull off Rick and smile

 

 

 

 

 

''I think they are  trying to tell us something''  Negan smirked at Rick and turned around

 

 

 

 

" wait...tell me Negan " Rick grabbed at his bicep

 

 

 

 

 

Negan turned to him and smiled, weakly

 

 

 

 

 

"it's ok, we have a couple of days here.... let's just enjoy now'' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

'' Come on, let's feed these hungry assholes, then I'm cooking you the best fucking goddamn super you've ever eaten in your entire life " he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

"you ??  cooking   ? '' he cocked his head to the side

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pouted

 

 

 

 

 

" I'll have you know I'm a fucking damn fine cook " he grinned 

 

 

 

 

 

'' well ok then, I'll have to take your word on that '' Rick raised his eyebrow

 

 

 

 

 

'' Damn straight you will " he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

he grabbed both sides of Rick's face, pressing his lips on his gently, pulling back ever so slightly, looking him directly in the eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled off Negan

 

 

 

 

 

'' Are you sure you're ok..you've been acting strange ever since we got here '' Rick frowned at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' I'm fine Grimes...come on,the horse feed is outside " he pulled away from Rick and left the stables

 

 

 

 

Something was telling Rick Negan was keeping a far bigger secret from him than he had first though..he couldn't even tell him

 

 

 

 

He saw Negan walk back in with some feed in a large bucket and he looked over at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

'' well come on deputy, Boots won't feed himself " he smiled like nothing was wrong

 

 

 

 

Rick thought it best to not push the subject, as Negan clearly didn't feel like the time was right to tell him here in the stables, Negan would open up to him when he was ready, for now, he wanted to enjoy the next few days alone with him in this gorgeous setting

 

 

 

 

They fed  the horses some feed and gave them fresh water, they also wrangled up the other horses that resided on the property and fed them 

 

 

 

 

 

They closed the double doors of the stables as the sun was just starting to go down behind the hills

 

 

 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's hand as they walked back to the house

 

 

 

 

Rick was happy

 

 

 

 

''You go up and get in that bath, relax..while I get supper ready'' Negan smiled at him, stopping at the doorway

 

 

 

 

'' really ?? nom I can help you  " Rick said surprised

 

 

 

 

'' I'm trying to impress you here Grimes '' he raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

''you already have, I mean just look at this place '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

'' told you id treat you like a fucking king, I haven't done that yet ''

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

 

 

 

''well you've been a real proper gentleman "' he smiled, remembering what Negan had said to him  before they left

 

 

 

 

 

Negan grinned

 

 

 

 

 

''You ain't seen nothing yet, wait till you see what I have planned for the next few days " he stuck his tongue between his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled shyly looking to the ground

 

 

 

 

 

"that fucking blush, it gets  me every time Grimes, how do you fucking do it huh " he took his chin in his fingers  tilting his head up, kissing him

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled Negan deeper into the kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck, and  Negan wrapped his around Rick's waist

 

 

 

 

 

Things soon got heated as tounges started to mold together and Negan pulled back

 

 

 

 

 

 

"ok, enough of your fucking sweet mouth..I'd better go find supper  before I lose the light, and  we won't be eating at all " he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

"that's ok, I'd be happy just having you up in that bath with me " Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

"mmm now that's fucking tempting offer " he put his forehead against Rick's

 

 

 

 

 

''But I didn't bring you out here just to fuck your brains out ......well '' he smirked

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled  as Negan stepped back from him

 

 

 

 

 

"Now get your ass up there,and don't come peeking in the kitchen you hear ??'' 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick turned to go up the staircase as Negan slapped him on the ass

 

 

 

 

 

He smiled at him as he climbed the staircase and Negan walked towards the kitchen, grinning at him

 

 

 

 

 

Rick returned to the bedroom putting  his bag on the bed, sitting down on it, and running his hands over the perfect  white linen

 

 

 

 

 

he opened his bag grabbing some clean clothes when his bottle of opium fell out too the bed

 

 

 

 

 

he glanced  at it,it somehow seemed taboo  to have it here in such a fine house

 

 

 

 

 

he took his clothes into the bathroom, looking around once again at its fine features

 

 

 

 

he put the plug in the bath and ran the water, feeling the temperature was right as  he began to undress

 

 

 

  

he smiled thinking about how good Negn was bringing him here, how sweet he was being, he was actually happy, happier than he had been in a long time

 

 

 

 

he let himself sink into the water slowly, every inch of his tired and may he say grubby and bloody  body relished  the warm water  encompassing him

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Who was the woman in the painting ??

Chapter Text

Rick opened his eyes , the bathwater was cold and the room dim, he must have fallen asleep

 

 

 

 

He looked down at himself, the water was now a grubby brown colour and he remembered he had washed himself before he fell asleep

 

 

 

 

he pulled the plug in the tub and got out, flicking the switch on the wall, lighting the room slightly, still astounded he didn't have to light an oil lamp and carry it from room to room

 

 

 

 

 

he wrapped a towel around his waist, wiping the condensation from the mirror and looking at his reflection, as his wet curls dripped   onto his shoulders

 

 

 

 

 

he had kept his fresh stitches dry by leaving his arm hanging out of the bath and  he looked  down at his  shoulder 

 

 

 

 

 

All the dried blood was now completely gone  and the stitches  looked clean and uninfected, there was still bruising on the skin and his muscles still  hurt from the jolting of the horse ride  

 

 

 

 

he stared at his reflection in distaste, his own blue eyes filled with loathing as he ran a finger down the jagged line of his scar, feeling every ridge and uneven bump

 

 

 

 

 

his eyes flicked down to his chest and stomach looking at old scars he had sustained in the war, running his fingers over the rough skin that now was there

 

 

 

 

 

he ripped the towel off from around his waist, turned his back to the mirror, and dried his hair and  body

 

 

 

 

 

he hung the towel up and opened the bathroom door as the most amazing smell,no doubt coming from the kitchen,  hit him in the face like a wet towel

 

 

 

 

 

his stomach grumbled loudly as he looked down the hallway

 

 

 

 

 

''You fucking stupid piece of shit "  Negan yelled from downstairs, followed by a loud sound of pots falling onto the tiles

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smirked at the man and went back into the bedroom to get dressed

 

 

 

 

 

He  got dressed in a nice blue shirt with buttons down the middle and the nicest pants he owned

 

 

 

 

he sat down at the dressing table looking at himself once more, taming his now dry curls back

 

 

 

 

 

his eyes fell down to some glass bottles on the dressing table, filled with what looked like perfumes and cologne

 

 

 

 


he sprayed some in the air making sure he wasn't going to spray perfume on himself  and chose  a cologne that had a subtle scent of flowers and musk

 

 

 

 

 

he stood up, straightened his clothes and descended the stairs, stopping at the bottom of the staircase

 

 

 

 

 

'' Smell's amazing Negan   '' he called out

 

 

 

 

 

the sound of another  pot crashing to the floor made Rick smirk

 

 

 

 

 

" Fuck me, Grimes, give a man a fucking heart why don't ya '' he yelled from the kitchen

 

 

 

 

 

'' I think I fell asleep up there, it was so relaxing...do you need a hand in there  ?? '' He called back

 

 

 

 

 

'' don't you fucking dare come in here and ruin my surprise '' Negan yelled

 

 

 

 

 

'' ok ''  Rick replied, glancing into the sitting room  and up at the painting of the woman

 

 

 

 

 

'' Help yourself to a drink in the sitting room..go easy though.... it's home brew..it will knock an elephant on its ass after just one '' he called out 

 

 

 

 

 

he walked into the sitting room, running a hand over the  leather furniture, glancing  over at the side table that  had  liquor bottles sitting on a silver serving plate with several glasses next to it

 

 

 

 

 

he poured himself a glass of whiskey and sipped it as he walked over to the fire that was burning warmly

 

 

 

 

 

It felt  like someone was watching him he looked up at the painting, furrowing his brows  at it

 

 

 

 

 

it was as if   the woman was looking down on him and he   suddenly  felt very alone in the large, quiet  room

 

 

 

 

 

he  sat down on the lounge his legs crossed, drinking his whiskey

 

 

 

 

 

'' well fuck me !!  don't you look just about fucking edible  ''  Negan's voice at the doorway almost made Rick jump in fright and spill his drink all over the expensive rug

 

 

 

 

 

he stood up quickly, looking at Negan who was leaning against the  doorway, arms folded, grinning

 

 

 

 

 

'' makes me fucking regret not joining you up there now '' he pushed off the wall and stalked closer

 

 

 

 

'' Don't think I've ever been  this  clean before '' Rick smiled

 

 

 

 

 

 

" I'm sure I can  think of a way to make you dirty again " he licked his lips, as Rick flicked his eyes down to  his tongue 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan  stopped just inches away from Rick and leaned into his neck, his nose tickling Rick's skin

 

 

 

 

 

'' fuck you smell god damn amazing '' he whispered and started placing kisses up Rick's neck, just under his earlobe

 

 

 

 

 

Rick tilted his head slightly so Negan could get more access, as he held his glass in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

Negan put a hand on Rick's waist pulling him closer 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they began kissing and Rick used his free hand to pull Negan  closer by his nape, deepening their kiss, swirling his tongue in Negan's mouth

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed into the kiss and pulled back

 

 

 

 

 

''you keep doing that shit, and that supper won't get eaten '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

'' would you be complaining ?? '' Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' well with the amount of fucking shit that bloody meal cause me, I fucking would yeh '' he laughed

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' thought you said you were a good cook ?? " Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

'' I am  asshole '' Negan grinned

 

 

 

 

 

''But it's been a while since I cooked in that   kitchen..and joey does all the cooking at  camp, he fucking gives me an evil fucking look whenever I step anywhere near his fucking wagon  '' he frowned

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled, looking down at his glass

 

 

 

 

 

'' Now ...I'm gonna go take a bath and you..you just sit here and look gorgeous, supper is about 30min away " he kissed Rick on the nose sweetly

 

 

 

 

 

he grinned at Rick as he backed out of the doorway

 

 

 

 

 

Rick sat down and sipped his whiskey, enjoying the warm fire

 

 

 

 

 

He glanced up at the painting again, furrowing his brows, who was that woman ??  she must be of some great  importance to have such a grand  painting  sitting  in the main room of the house

 

 

 

 

He glanced at the big father clock in the corner of the room, it's slow constant ticking, the warm fire, mixed with the whisky were making his eyes  heavy

 

 

 

 

 

TICK...TICK..TICK..TICK,  a  calming sensation washed over him and he closed his eyes, his glass held loosely in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' you falling asleep on me Grimes '' Negan's smooth voice made Rick's eyes pop open in fright and almost dropped the glass in his hand for the second time that night

 

 

 

 

 

 

the taller man stood in the doorway, a smirk on his face, he was now redressed in a smart black top and nice black pants and had a dark red tie on, in place of his bandana. His hair was slicked back with gel and he had even had a shave, leaving a 5 o'clock shadow of black and grey hair on his face

 

 

 

 

Rick raised his brows at how handsome the man looked and put his glass down on the side table next to the chair

 

 

 

 

 

'' you look '' Rick looked him up and down

 

 

 

 

 

'' fucking handsome ??  '' Negan grinned standing up straight, adjusting the  tie around his neck

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Goddamn gorgeous '' Rick walked up to him, smiling

 

 

 

 

 

'' I almost didn't recognize you " he trailed his eyes up and down Negan once more

 

 

 

 

 

''  well, You were right... a bath does fucking wonders '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

" supper is served '' He held out his hand and Rick took it, smiling

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled him  forward almost making Rick trip over the rug and crashed their lips together

 

 

 

 

 

he wrapped his strong arms  around Rick's waist pulling him closer, deepening the kiss as his  hands  wandered  down to Rick's ass, squeezing  it

 

 

 

 

 

Rick laughed into Negan's mouth and pulled off him

 

 

 

 

 

'' come on before it gets cold "  Negan flicked his eyes down to Rick's crotch and back up to his eyes, looking at him intently

 

 

 

 

 

Negan took his hand  again and  led him down to the dining room, opening the door for him, as Rick stepped in smiling

 

 

 

 

 

the table was set beautifully, complete with candles, with what looked like a cooked rabbit sitting  in the middle, on top of a silver serving dish

 

 

 

 

 

various vegetables were in smaller white bowls, surrounding the rabbit  and a gravy server  and bread rolls sat next to it

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's mouth watered at the sight of it

 

 

 

 

'' what do you think huh, told ya I was a fucking fantastic cook '' Negan whispered in his ear, wrapping his hands around his body, chin on his shoulder

 

 

 

 

 

'' I haven't tasted it yet '' Rick scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

'' Come on, sit down '' Negan purred in his ear, pecking him on the neck before walking over to the side table that  had  more  alcohol  and glasses sitting on a silver serving tray

 

 

 

 

 

'' Another whiskey ?  '' Negan held  the bottle up, looking at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

'' you trying to get me wasted ?  '' Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

'' maybe " he winked at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' sure, just a small one '' he added and  sat down at a seat where the table was set

 

 

 

 

 

''Here '' Negan handed him the glass

 

 

 

 

 

"thanks '' he took the glass, sipping the smooth brown liquid

 

 

 

 

Negan sat down next to him and held up his glass

 

 

 

 

'' to us '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled and tapped his glass to Negan's

 

 

 

 

 

'' to us '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Negan took a sip  of his drink, not taking his eyes off Rick,   smirking over his glass

 

 

 

 

 

He stood up  and picked up the fork and  a rather  large knife to cut the rabbit with and began slicing into  the tender meat 

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart jumped at the sight of it and his body went rigid

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him and furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

'' what's wrong ? '' he asked concerned

 

 

 

 

 

"what ??  "  Rick flicked his eyes up to him quickly

 

 

 

 

 

"you ,you look like you've sat on a fucking lit explosive '' he smirked

 

 

 

 

 

'' nothing ,I'm fine '' he said quickly

 

 

 

 

Negan looked at him like he didn't believe him and Rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' I'm fine, just cut the rabbit will ya I'm starving '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

'' fucking pushy '' Negan smiled and began slicing the rabbit

 

 

 

 

 

Rick had visions of Shane cutting open rabbits, gutting them with his knife that Merle was mouthing off about before they left  and his scar began to tingle

 

 

 

 

 

he touched his face as Negan kept cutting

 

 

 

 

 

he needed to pull himself together for fucks sake

 

 

 

 

 

he picked up his glass and threw back the whiskey letting it burn down his throat

 

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' Maybe you should go easy on that shit huh '' he eyed the glass

 

 

 

 

 

'' I can handle it "' he glared at him, standing up and going to pour another whiskey

 

 

 

 

 

when he turned back around Negan had put some meat on his plate and was serving out some vegetables for himself with a large silver spoon

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was relieved the knife was out of  sight as he  walked back over and  sat down

 

 

 

 

 

He caught sight of it with the serving fork, on the other side of the rabbit, now filled with pieces of cooked meat and juices

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's stomach turned upside down suddenly

 

 

 

 

'' peas ? ''  Negan said, holding the white bowl in his hands

 

 

 

 

 

Rick stared  at the knife as Negan followed his gaze, and flicked his eyes back to  Rick

 

 

 

 

 

'' Rick '' he said louder

 

 

 

 

 

'' yeh... sorry '' he looked  at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

'' peas  ? '' he jerked the bowl in his hands

 

 

 

 

 

'' oh ...yes please '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Negan eyed him, putting some peas on his plate, and picking  up various bowls of vegetables as Rick  nodded, his heart beating  fast

 

 

 

 

 

'' where the hell did you get all of this from anyway ??  ... I mean  I  wasn't in the bath that long was I ?? '' he furrowed his brows looking at all the food

 

 

 

 

 

"There's a vegetable garden out back, the house is generally pretty well stocked, much like the ice box...I just had to go hunt the rabbit, he was fresh '' Negan smiled  

 

 

 

 

 

'' gravy ? '' he held up the gravy server

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at the rabbit and could picture Shane sticking his knife into it, laughing sadistically

 

 

 

 

 

'' Grimes  '' Negan yelled, slightly raising his voice, looking annoyed

 

 

 

 

 

 

"yeah sure " he said, not knowing what Negan had said

 

 

 

 

 

''what's wrong with you tonight ?? ''

 

 

 

 

'' what.. ?? nothing " Rick snapped

 

 

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his eyes at him as he poured gravy on his meal, handing it to Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick took it not making eye contact with him  and pouring some on his meat,putting it down, touching his face again

 

 

 

 

 

'' hey '' Negan put his hand on top of Rick's  on the table

 

 

 

 

 

'' you ok ?? ''

 

 

 

 

''yeh..yeh sure '' he smiled weakly

 

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

 

 

''  you'd tell me if something was  bothering you, wouldn't you ??  '' he cocked his head to the side

 

 

 

 

''of course '' Rick lied

 

 

 

 

Negan stared at him unconvinced

 

 

 

 

 

Rick avoided his gaze and looked at his plate

 

 

 

 

'' well this looks amazing,'' he stabbed his fork into his meat and  began eating as he felt Negan's  gaze on him

 

 

 

 

 

he glanced up at him and he was still indeed looking at him, holding his glass up to his lips

 

 

 

 

 

'' What ? '' he furrowed his brows at him, as he shoved a potato into his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

'' nothing '' Negan shook his head and sipped his drink

 

 

 

 

the meal was fabulous, Negan could indeed cook, the rabbit was soft and tender, the vegetables were beautifully seasoned, the gravy was perfect  and smooth and the bread rolls were soft and fresh...  he had not eaten  so well in years

 

 

 

 

 

when they finished, Rick sat back in his chair rubbing his stomach, feeling extremely full

 

 

 

 

 

'' well I'm absolutely  stuffed, that was the most amazing meal I've ever eaten '' he smiled at Negan

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Told you  I'm a fucking great cook, didn't I ?? "' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

''you did..thank you for this  '' Rick smiled at him

 

 

 

 

 

'' but the meals not finished yet, I made dessert as well '' he wiggled his eyebrows, grinning

 

 

 

 

 

'' what !! .. I couldn't eat another thing '' Rick laughed, holding his stomach

 

 

 

 

 

''  well you'd  better find some room Grimes '' he  stood up, bending  down and kissing him on the lips

 

 

 

 

 

'' Now don't you move that sweet ass from  that chair '' he grinned

 

 

 

 

 

'' Fuck I don't think I could move even if I wanted to " he laughed

 

 

 

 

Negan smiled, bending down to kiss him again, and left the  room

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled after him, feeling at peace and happy

 

 

 

 

he glanced at the knife again and his smile disappeared, he felt a wave of anxiety wash over him, suddenly feeling very alone in the big spacious room and he stood up quickly like his ass was on fire

 

 

 

 

 

...what the fuck was wrong with him

 

 

 

 

 

he picked up his glass, swallowing  the remaining whiskey in it, and went over and poured  more, swallowing it straight down in one mouthful

 

 

 

 

 

It stung as it went down his throat and he closed his  eyes feeling the previous glass start to make his head  feel foggy

 

 

 

 

 

'' dessert is served '' Negan's voice startled Rick as he turned to him

 

 

 

 

 

Negan  looked at the glass in his hand  for a minute, flicking  his eyes up to Rick, a slightly judgmental expression on his face

 

 

 

 

 

''  I don't want you  getting shit faced tonight Rick  '' he said and walked over to the table placing the bowls down

 

 

 

 

 

'' Why ?? were supposed to be celebrating  arent we ?? '' he eyed Negan

 

 

 

 

 

'' Yeh, but I want you sober enough to remember it  ''  he spat

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at him and looked  down at the   glass in his hand

 

 

 

 

 

he was being a selfish prick, Negan had gone to all this effort of cooking this wonderful meal and dessert

 

 

 

 

 

He left his  glass next to the whiskey bottle and   walked over and  sat  back down at the table

 

 

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him

 

 

 

 

 

''you've put so much effort  into tonight and I appreciate it all, it's all been like a dream, thank you '' he took Negan's hand in his and kissed the top of his knuckles

 

 

 

 

 

Negan eyed him for a minute and smiled 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Just take it easy on the whiskey '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

'' No more for me tonight '' Rick smiled and  looked down at his plate, it looked like  apple crumble, with actual cream on top

 

 

 

 

 

''Is...is  that ..cream  ?? '' his eyes lit up 

 

 

 

 

 

''yep, only the best for my deputy '' Negan grinned at him 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at him in disbelief

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' you're fucking amazing  '' he grinned and dug his spoon into the dessert

 

 

 

 

 

 

the cream hit his tongue and he could have cum in his pants right there and then

 

 

 

 

 

''mmmm my god Negan'' he moaned with a mouthful of crumble and cream

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' fuck, if I had known you'd get a fucking hard on over cream I would have  brought you here sooner "  he grinned sticking his tongue between his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

Rick almost chocked on his dessert, coughing

 

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

" I do not have a fucking hard on..'' he pouted

 

 

 

 

 

'' but it is fucking amazing '' he shoved another spoonful into his mouth

 

 

 

 

 

 

when  they finished they went outside on the porch, Negan was sitting down on one of the chairs, cigarette  in his mouth, legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles, Rick  was standing in front of him, leaning on the railing with  his arms, both looking up at the full moon

 

 

 

 

 

It was beautiful, so many times he had slept outside under the stars and  never appreciated nights like this

 

 

 

 

 

he could feel Negan's eyes on him and he smiled to himself

 

 

 

 

 

'' What are you gawking at now '' he asked, not turning around

 

 

 

 

 

''you '' Negan grinned

 

 

 

 

Rick sighed and looked up at the moon

 

 

 

 

'' you said you used to work here as a farm hand ?? why the fuck would you ever want to leave .. it's just magical, it's like we are in a totally different world somehow, far away from  the saviors, Black River, the law, or any of the  other bullshit " he smiled, feeling the cool night air on his face

 

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

 

 

'' Things changed and I couldn't stay here anymore '' he said flatly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, turning to face him

 

 

 

 

'' Like what ? ''

 

 

 

 

 a cloud of smoke drifted out from the darkness where Negan sat under the awning, hidden away from the moonlight

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' I  remember the first time I saw you.....the very first time....It  wasn't  when you locked me up ''  Negan said, completely avoiding Rick's question

 

 

 

 

 

'' No "  Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

'' you   probably don't remember, but  you walked  into  the saloon.... fucking had this confident swagger about you..... with Hershel, and what's his face..the one who's afraid of his own shadow ?? '' 

 

 

 

 

 

'' Jerry '' Rick said,not recalling the night Negan was atlking about

 

 

 

 

 

" Yeh him....Merle  was  drunk, bitching about how you assholes had locked him up on some fucked up charge or some shit  '' he scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

'' I couldn't take my fucking eyes off you..you took your hat off, put it down on the bar, running your hand through your hair ''

 

 

 

 

 

Rick saw the cigarette butt light up, as Negan inhaled the smoke

 

 

 

 

'' you ordered a drink and turned around casing the room, your elbows on the bar, You were the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on '' he sat forward into the light, his eyes filled with lust

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's dick twitched at the way he  looked at him

 

 

 

 

 

''I've been attracted to guys before, but this was different I wanted to get to know you...... Don't get me wrong, I wanted nothing more than to bend you over that bar and fuck your god damn brains out in front of everyone...but I dunno... it's hard  to explain '' he inhaled his cigarette slowly, looking Rick up and down

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's stomach felt like it had butterflies in it suddenly

 

 

 

 

 

'' Merle was hollering  at you 3, drunk and you glanced over not really giving a  shit about his mouth'' He scoffed and sat back into the darkness

 

 

 

 

 

'' He had just been released that afternoon and was already  looking for  more trouble.... the asshole ''  he  scoffed 

 

 

 

 

 

''You didn't even  fucking look  at me, you walked over and sat at a table, your back to us ''

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' I wanted to go over and introduce myself but I knew the boys would give me shit for talking to the law '' Negan spat

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' I watched you the whole night like a fucking love struck  woman, it was pathetic '' he laughed as smoke filled the air

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smirked

 

 

 

 

 

" And then Merle, fucking  drunk off his ass, fell into some guy behind you, starting a fucking fight '' Rick scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

"Fuck I remeber that night now '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

''  we can kinda thank him for introducing  us though '' Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

"how ? '' Rick raised an eyebrow

 

 

 

 

 

''well, it brought you assholes over to our table real quick, didn't it  ? '' Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

''suppose it did '' Rick smiled

 

 

 

 

 

'' You  held your men back and let Hershel and jerry take him away  to the cells  without retaliating  ''

 

 

 

 

 

''well I didn't want any of my men fucking arrested for Merle's drunk bullshit, we had business to attend to in the morning and  I couldn't have pulled it off  with half

my men in lock up  now could I ? ''

 

 

 

 

 

'' oh so it wasn't just you being a decent human being or anything, you had a fucking job to pull the next morning '' Rick laughed

 

 

 

 

 

'' yep '' Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

'' I offered to buy you a drink for Merle's bullshit ..... you remember ?? ''

 

 

 

 

Rick nodded, smiling

 

 

 

 

'' in front of my men  and everything and you fucking turned me down....fucking gave me that fucking stink eye, your fucking blue eyes looking me up and down in absolute disgust, lip curled up''

 

 

 

 

 

'' I don't accept drinks from  outlaw scum, you practically  spat in my face, if I remember ''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick laughed

 

 

 

 

 

'' The boys  fucking gave me shit about that for days after..you know that  ?? my fucking ego was god damn wounded '' he leaned forward again, looking at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

 

''I knew then...that  you were gonna be hard to sway ...and by god, you were a stubborn asshole '' he grinned

.

 

 

 

 

 

'' I guess persistence worked.... look at us now '' Rick smiled

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' I don't give up when I want something '' Negan trailed his eyes down Rick's body and inhaled the last bit of  his cigarette, stubbing it out on the bottom of his boot

 

 

 

 

 

 

he flicked it away and stood up, pulling his tie from his neck like it was annoying him, and stalked over to Rick, as his stomach flipped 

 

 

 

 

 

He placed  both palms on the railing, either side of Rick, leaning in close

 

 

 

 

 

He smelt of cigarettes and musk and Rick breathed him in like a drug

 

 

 

 

 

'' And I haven't stopped wanting every..single.... inch of you since that night '' he purred and laid his lips on Rick's neck

 

 

 

 

 

Rick leaned back against the rail, tilting his head to the side to give Negan more access

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick closed his eyes feeling  Negan's lips on his skin

 

 

 

 

 

''I want every goddamn  inch of you right now '' Negan mumbled into his neck, his free hand  hand trailing down to palm Rick through his pants  

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's dick twitched at Negan's touch and his  heart began to beat faster

 

 

 

 

 

He wanted Negan's hands all over him, his mouth, his tongue ..his cock inside of him

 

 

 

 

 

''Fuck Negan '' he whispered, his dick straining in his pants

 

 

 

 

 

'' I'm  gonna fuck you into the mattress of that  fancy fucking  bed up there so fucking hard, you won't be  able to walk right for a week '' Negan purred in his ear, trailing  his wet lips down his neck

 

 

 

 

 

'' Just do it here ..please ''  Rick whined,as Negan pressed his hand against his erection in his pants ,harder

 

 

 

 

 

'' I...I can't take anymore '' Rick whispered open mouth, looking up to the night sky

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed both sides of  Negans face, tilting his head up and away from his neck, crashing their lips together

 

 

 

 

 

Negan instantly picked him up but his thighs and sat him on top of the railing as Rick wrapped his legs around him

 

 

 

 

Their kisses became messy with want and need, crashing teeth and  wet tounges roaming each other

 

 

 

 

 

Rick reached down between them and fumbled at Negan's belt as they continued to kiss like their life depended on it

 

 

 

 

Rick's head was spinning,  he was pretty sure it was a combination of the home brewed whiskey and  his burning arousal and pure lust for the man between his legs

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled back gasping for air

 

 

 

 

 

 Rick grabbed his nape , desperate for his mouth on his

 

 

 

 

 

 

''come on..I don't wanna do this out here''  Negan pulled back and took Rick's hand in his, stepping back with a  devious smirk on his face

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled at him and hopped down off the railing, adjusting his incredibly hard dick in his pants and following the taller man back inside

 

 

 

 

 

they climbed the staircase, falling on the steps, giggling like a bunch of kids, as they  roamed each other's bodies with their hands, their mouths connecting, tounges twisting

 

 

 

 

Rick made  fast work of Negan's buttons on  his shirt, and tie and threw it somewhere on the staircase, as Negan did the same with Rick's

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled Rick upright and they stumbled into the bedroom,Negan knocking the door open with his boot as Rick pushed him through the door, their lips never disconnecting

 

 

 

 

 

they fell onto the bed, the only light in the room was from the full moon  streaming in through the windows

 

 

 

 

 

heavy breathing filled the room as they both stilled momentarily to undo the belts on their pants, legs intertwined, Rick up on his knees, Negan on his back

 

 

 

 

 

they  pulled off their pants, leaving both men  in their underwear when Rick leaned back down, desperately needing   Negan's lips back on his

 

 

 

 

He climbed on top of Negan, both legs on either side of the taller man, kissing him, hands running down his sides

 

 

 

 

Negan's hands trailed down Rick's back and he hooked his thumbs under the seam of his underwear and pulled them down slowly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick kicked them off as Negan flipped their positions, so he was now on top of Rick

 

 

 

 

 

he sat in between Rick's open legs, and looked at  him seriously, moving a stray curl from his face tenderly with his finger

 

 

 

 

 

''I love you Rick '' he whispered, flicking his eyes to the scar on his face, running a thumb down its ragged line

 

 

 

 

 

''I love you too '' Rick whispered, smiling

 

 

 

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows and looked directly into his eyes, stroking his forehead with his fingers

 

 

 

 

 

'' I never want to lose you again '' he whispered

 

 

 

 

'' You won't '' Rick put a hand up to cup the side of his face

 

 

 

 

 

'' I..I don't know what id do if something happened to you again'' he closed his eyes, hanging his head slightly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and used his finger to tilt His chin up, so their eyes met  

 

 

 

 

 

 

''Nothings going to happen to me, I'm here.....I'm never leaving you again ..ok '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

 

Negan's eyes were filled with concern and something like fear or dread

 

 

 

 

 

 

"hey " Rick kissed him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer to him

 

 

 

 

Negan tilted Rick in his arms, hooking his arms under his body and deepening the kiss, squeezing him tightly like he never wanted to let go

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed one of Rick's open  legs, bending it at the  knee and ground his hips down on Rick's erection

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled off Neagn's mouth to let out a moan, closing his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

'' Get your god damn underwear  off, I wanna feel you " Rick  demanded, opening  his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Negan smirked and shimmied his underwear down and threw them somewhere on the floor, deliberately grinding  his hips down into Rick's aching cock once again

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's hand flew up to his hair as the fire in his belly rose and he bit down on his lip,hard

 

 

 

 

 

 he took Rick's dick in his hand  and began  to stroke it, running a thumb over the pre cum, collecting it and covering Rick's dick with it in slow agonizing movements

 

 

 

 

 

Rick saw stars as Negan's rough fingers stroked him incredibly slow

 

 

 

 

 

 

''please fuck '' he stammered, pulling on his curls

 

 

 

 

 

Negan suddenly let go of Rick's aching dick and raised up on his knees

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked up at him, flustered and breathing heavy

 

 

 

 

 

'' Turn over " Negan practically growled, making Rick's stomach literally turn inside out

 

 

 

 

 

Rick did as he was told and rolled onto his stomach, the bed sheets causing a whole new level of friction to his dick

 

 

 

 

 

Negan Leaned over him, trailing  wet kisses down his spine

 

 

 

 

Rick  felt goosebumps rising all over his skin

 

 

 

 

Negan lifted Rick's hips in the air leaving him resting on his knees and he closed his eyes waiting for Negan's cock to enter him

 

 

 

 

he almost jumped off the bed when he felt Negan's soft, wet tongue enter his hole, darting in and out

 

 

 

 

Rick's  mouth parted slightly as he sat up on his elbows, head hung between his shoulder blades, resting on the pillow

 

 

 

 

Negan gripped both round globes of Rick's ass and buried his face into him deeper, making Rick's whole body jerkin excitement

 

 

 

 

Negan's tongue swirled around his tight opening as one of his hands ran up his spine and began to massage a  thumb  into  the nape of his neck

 

 

 

 

 

Rick moaned  loudly like a whore, as his dick ached for some attention  and he grabbed it in his hand, stroking it 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled  his  tongue out and sat up, letting some spit drop in Rick's already wet hole, and circled a finger around it

 

 

 

 

'' you fucking like this Grimes ??  '' he growled behind Rick

 

 

 

 

 

''yyes.... god yes ''  Rick mumbled ,his head still hanging between his shoulders near the pillow

 

 

 

 

 

Negan made some kind of animalistic noise in his throat and pushed a slicked finger into Rick's  warm opening, simultaneously as he pulled on Rick's curls that hung on his shoulders so his head tilted up away from the pillow

 

 

 

 

'' didn't hear ya '' he said sternly as his finger  slid in

 

 

 

 

Rick thought he'd pass out from the feeling, it had been some time since he had a man or anything in his ass for that matter, and he had almost forgotten how good it felt

 

 

 

 

 

'' Fuck yes ....   more '' Rick stammered as Negan pulled on his curls, bending his head back

 

 

 

 

 

he pumped his finger in and out at a  steady pace, trying his damndest to go slow cause he knew Rick hadn't been with anybody for years

 

 

 

 

 

''feels so good Rick, you're as tight as the first time I did this to you..you remember how you fucking wiggled around on my finger, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen '' Negan praised, adding a second finger

 

 

 

 

'' FFUCKK'' Rick yelled out feeling incredibly full already

 

 

 

 

 

Negan let go of his hair and Rick  stuck his ass higher in the air, needing more of Negan's fingers inside of him

 

 

 

 

 

'' That's it, baby  show me that beautiful fucking ass'' he growled and began to push his fingers in and out faster

 

 

 

 

 

Rick was a mess, panting, mouth open, sweat forming on  his brow, he needed more badly

 

 

 

 

 

 

''Please Negan...please fuck me... I need it'' he whined out closing his eyes as Negan thrust his fingers in and out

 

 

 

 

 

'' You're not ready  ...I don't wanna hurt you baby '' he said concerned

 

 

 

 

 

''don't fucking care..I need you inside  of me ...please '' he pleaded

 

 

 

 

 

'' fuck Rick '' Negan's voice sounded wrecked

 

 

 

 

 

''How can a  fucking man say no to that '' he withdrew his fingers and Rick felt his hard dick rubbing into the crack of his ass

 

 

 

 

 

 

''let me know if it's too much '' he said tenderly

 

 

 

 

 

Rick said nothing as he stroked his cock in his hand, needing desperately to feel Negan fill him 

 

 

 

 

Negan adjusted his position behind Rick and laid a steady hand on his lower back, lining up his dick with the other

 

 

 

 

Rick's heart  was about to explode in anticipation, he had wanted this for so long

 

 

 

 

 

he felt the blunt head of Negan's dick at his opening and  butterflies began fluttering in his stomach

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's muscles didn't want to make it easy as Negan pushed in ever so slowly

 

 

 

 

 

He gritted his teeth, sucking in air, it stung, he won't fucking lie, it was like his first time all over again, his opening burning and stretching

 

 

 

 

 

'' you good ??  '' Negan asked

 

 

 

 

 

'' yeh..just...just go slow '' Rick hissed

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan pushed in  slowly and Rick thought he might fucking slipt in two, Negan was packing a large cock

 

 

 

 

 

" Just relax baby '' he soothed from behind him

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, breathing steady as Negan pushed in further

 

 

 

 

 

 

'' so fucking tight  Rick '' Negan gritted his teeth, trying to go as slow as possible

 

 

 

 

 

Rick stroked his dick, running his thumb over the wet head as Negan stilled, now  fully inside of him

 

 

 

 

 

 

''God you feel fucking good '' Negan whispered above him

 

 

 

 

 

 

''you ok baby ?? '' he looked down at Rick and ran a hand up his back tenderly

 

 

 

 

 

 

''yeh...sooo full...feels so good '' Rick whispered

 

 

 

 

 

 

''Move ...please '' he added, wanting to feel the drag of  Negan's cock going  in and out of him

 

 

 

 

 

Negan put both hands on Rick's hips as he steadied himself

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan pulled his dick out painfully slow, the drag inside of Rick felt like torture

 

 

 

 

 

 

he slammed back into Rick  full force making his body jerk up the bed, yelping out in shock and pleasure

 

 

 

 

 

Negan began a slow pace to start, picking up  speed, getting into a steady rhythm as Rick stroked his hard dick with one hand

 

 

 

 

 

the intense sensations running through Rick's body as the older man  slammed into him from behind over and over again was sending him on a high as opium did, he was floating in pleasure, as each thrust sent shock waves through his body

 

 

 

 

" Harder '' Rick yelled  out in pleasure

 

 

 

 

 

 the head of Negan's cock hit  that spot inside of him, that made  a strange white colour appear in front of  his eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Negan immediately stopped and pulled his dick out, Rick felt incredibly empty and sore

 

 

 

 

 

Negan grabbed his hips and flipped him over like a ragdoll, pulling him down the bed, raising  both his legs in one hand and slamming back into him before Rick even knew what had happened

 

 

 

 

The hard thrust had him screaming out in pleasure, throwing his head back on the pillow, his wild curls bouncing in every direction

 

 

 

 

 

Negan loomed over him in the moonlight, his strong body was  stiff and his muscles taught 

 

 

 

 

 

He leaned down  and  crashed his lips into Rick's partly open mouth and stuck his tongue in, as he thrust harder and harder 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick's entire body was alight with electricity as Negan suddenly pulled his lips off  his mouth and bit into the side of his neck, his teeth piercing the soft skin there

 

 

 

 

 

"Jesus fuck Negan " Rick screamed 

 

 

 

 

''You fucking  belong to me.... no one else can fucking lay  their filthy  fucking hands on you " Negan growled in his ear, possessively and Rick almost came from his dirty words

 

 

 

 

 

'' fucking fuck me !!!  '' Rick screamed out, not caring how desperate he sounded

 

 

 

 

 

he was close to coming as Negan slammed into his prostate over and over again, mercilessly, sucking on his neck, no doubt leaving bruises for days to come

 

 

 

 

 

 

''You feel so fucking good...squeezing my dick so tight '' Negan  purred in his ear

 

 

 

 

 

'' You gonna come on my dick  Grimes  ? '' he  growled

 

 

 

 

 

'' Yes '' Rick yelled, eyes clenched shut, throwing his head around the pillow as he stroked his dick,  the fire in his belly was about to explode 

 

 

 

 

 

''You are so fucking beautiful Rick '' Negan praised, as he didn't once slow his thrust, slamming into Rick's prostate

 

 

 

 

 

"I wanna see those gorgeous  eyes, I wanna see  them when I make you come in my cock '' Negan yelled

 

 

 

 

 

" Fuck I'm gonna come " Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

 

 

"look at me Rick baby "' Negan said, slightly possessive

 

 

 

 

 

Rick couldn't take it anymore, he opened his eyes, looking directly into Negans, and flicked his wrist, as Negan thrust into him

 

 

 

 

 

" FFUUCCKKINIGG hell " he screamed out in absolute pleasure, his eyes damn near rolling in the back of his head, as he came hard in his  hand, feeling Negan's cock slamming into his prostate relentlessly

 

 

 

 

 

His whole body shook in waves of pleasure as Negan continued to fuck into him hard, his movements getting slightly uneven and Rick knew he was close

 

 

 

 

 

"Fuck I'm coming'' he yelled out

 

 

 

 

Rick  grabbed the back of his head, pulling him down to his lips, and sucked on his tongue

 

 

 

 

 

 Negan moaned into his mouth and began jerking violently, placing both his hands next to Rick's head

 

 

 

 

 

Rick felt that warm feeling  fill him, flowing   like a river as Negan breathed unsteadily into his ear

 

 

 

 

 

He  ran his fingers up and down Negan's sweaty spine as he rode out his orgasm

 

 

 

 

 

After a second he raised his head from  the side of Rick's face and looked at him, smiling

 

 

 

 

 

Rick smiled and kissed him on the lips

 

 

 

 

 

 

"well '' Negan sighed

 

 

 

 

 

 

"that was goddamn something Grimes  " he grinned at Rick and rolled off him, flopping onto the mattress next to him

 

 

 

 

Rick simply smiled up to the ceiling, feeling like he had just had a hit and was still on a high, his soul leaving his body and floating above itself 

 

 

 

 

 

Negan looked at him and smiled

 

 

 

 

 

''I take it from that stupid grin, it was good '' He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, grinning at Rick

 

 

 

 

 

Rick looked at him, still smiling

 

 

 

 

 

'' It was amazing....your amazing. '' he  tilted his head downwards, kissing Negan tenderly

 

 

 

 

 

He pulled back looking into Negan's eyes, feeling content for the first time since Lori and Carl's murder,feeling truely loved and safe

 

 

 

 

 

" Come on " Negan  said abruptly, flipping  on his back, and  jumping off the bed like it was made of elastic

 

 

 

 

 

" where are you going ??  " Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

 

" I'm  sweaty as fuck  and have cum all over me...that bath is big enough for two don't forget..'' he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively

 

 

 

 

 

Rick laughed and closed his eyes

 

 

 

 

" I just had a big fucking cock up my ass for the first time in over 2 years...I  don't think I can even  get out of this bed, let alone walk to the bathroom '' he  covered his face with the back of his hand,  smiling

 

 

 

 

 

''  Big " Negan scoffed

 

 

 

 

 

" I think the word you're looking for is  fucking gigantic honey  "' he grinned his stupid wolf

 

 

 

 

 

Rick sat up and threw the pillow across the bed at him, hitting him in the face, as he caught it laughing

 

 

 

 

 

"come on..your ass won't be getting any kind of break anyway..not as long as I'm around... that is " he stuck his tongue between his teeth

 

 

 

 

 

Rick did feel sticky and sweaty and Negan's cum was beginning to run out of his ass, he didn't want it all over the fancy linen

 

 

 

 

 

Not that they hadn't already made a mess of it

 

 

 

 

 

He rolled over on his side, sitting on the edge of  the bed, groaning slightly as his shoulder pulled and he grabbed at it

 

 

 

 

 

'' You ok ? '' Negan asked concerned

 

 

 

 

 

"yeh" Rick pressed his thumb into the sore muscles around his stitches

 

 

 

 

 

 

"  Think  I just pulled  muscles I haven't  used in a long time.....it's  a bit tight  " he turned to Negan, smiling

 

 

 

 

 

'' A good soak in the bath will fix that right up...or more  sex...both I've found works well for sore muscles  " he shrugged, grinning

 

 

 

 

 

Rick glared at him, his innuendos were not helping with the sudden pain he was feeling

 

 

 

 

 

'' Oh come on baby " Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

 

" you go run us a bath .. and ill be in  in a minute'' he smiled weakly

 

 

 

 

 

'' Don't be too long '' Negan grinned and walked out of the room

 

 

 

 

Rick watched him leave and flicked his eyes over to his bag  that sat on the dresser and looked  back to the doorway

 

 

 

 

A sudden jolt of pain spread up his shoulder and into his neck and he hissed in pain

 

 

 

 

 

he stood up and went over to his bag, rummaging through it, looking for his opium

 

 

 

 

 

he held his shoulder with one hand while the other fumbled around for the bottle of pills

 

 

 

 

 

his hand wrapped around it and he  popped the top off with his teeth, glancing at himself in the mirror

 

 

 

 

 

" Hurry up  and get your ass in here Grimes'' Negan yelled from the bathroom across the hall

 

 

 

 

 

''Yeah, coming '' He called back, throwing the pills in his mouth, swallowing them dry

 

 

 

 

He ran his hand through his curls and sighed, looking at his shoulder once more, before turning and going to join Negan in the bath

Chapter 41

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Rick opened his eyes slightly, still rousing from the best night's sleep  he had in over 2 years

 

 

 

the  large, soft bed was like a cloud encompassing him in warmth and comfort

 

 

 

He yawned, stretching  his arms above his head, loosening his stiff body ..sex really had him working all those muscles he hadn't used in a long time

 

 

 

He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, his feet not even touching the floor

 

 

 

his shoulder niggled in pain and he dug his thumb into the muscle and rolled it in  a circle

 

 

 

he wondered if this pain was going to be a regular occurrence or if it was because the stitches were pulling at his skin  ??

 

 

 

Here he thought his scarred face would be his biggest  problem, but it turns out his shoulder was giving him hell and his scar was fully healed

 

 

 

He ran a hand through his wild curls, dragging it  down his tired face, his entire body was sore even though he had had a good night's sleep..he was getting old, he was 40 now, not 21 anymore

 

 

 

He  furrowed his brows, it was far  too quiet

 

 

 

He glanced behind him on the bed, Negan wasn't there 

 

 

 

The distinct smell of tobacco filled his nostrils and he looked towards the double doors  leading out to the small balcony, that overlooked the back garden

 

 

 

 

He hopped off the bed, poking  his head  around the corner of the doors, to see Negan with his back to Rick, dressed in just his long black pants, leaning  on the stone railing, surrounded by a cloud of smoke

 

 

 

 

Rick walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist

 

 

 

'' Good morning '' he smiled into his warm  skin

 

 

 

Negan flinched in surprise, coughing on his smoke, as Rick smirked

 

 

 

" Fuck me, Rick !! ..what are you trying to do, give me a heart attack ?? " he spun around, smoke in one hand, and wrapped his free  arm around Rick's shoulders, kissing him on the lips

 

 

 

''those fucking things will give you a heart attack  if anything will '' Rick furrowed his brows at the cigarette

 

 

 

''Nah, they'll put hair on ya chest  " he winked 

 

 

 

'' How did you sleep ?? he smiled down at him, taking his arm off from around his shoulders, leaning back on the railing

 

 

 

'' like a rock..that bed is amazing'' he smiled and stretched again, feeling his muscles pulling

 

 

 

''Body's a bit stiff though '' he furrowed his brows, rubbing his shoulder again

 

 

 

'' Well that's cause I fucked you good Grimes " he grinned

 

 

 

'' And I 'd be god damn insulted if you weren't just a little bit  fucking sore today '' he smirked over his cigarette

 

 

 

Rick smirked at him

 

 

 

''  Why  didnt  you wake  me ? '' he pouted

 

 

 

'' I dunno...You looked so peaceful sleeping there, fucking beautiful " he trailed his eyes down Rick's body,blowing smoke out

 

 

 

''What time is it ? '' Rick glanced up at the sky

 

 

 

'' half past 10, I think '' Negan  said , casually

 

 

 

'' half past 10 '' Rick yelled wide eyed 

 

 

 

''  Yeh ,Why ?? whats the problem ?? you got somewhere to be that I dont know about ? '' Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

Rick didnt actually, he had a sudden lapse of memory and thought he was going to be late for work at the Jail

 

 

 

he furrowed his brows, gnawing on the inside of his cheek

 

 

 

 

Negan looked at his expression

 

 

 

''what's wrong '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' Nothing  '' he glanced at the taller man

 

 

 

Negan knitted his brows together

 

 

 

'' Tell me honey " he tilted his head

 

 

 

'' It's nothing, really.. I  was just thinking about Black River '' he shrugged,folding his arms across his chest

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

 

'' Now why would you be thinking about that shit hole, when you have all this to admire'' he turned around, motioning to the beautiful garden

 

 

 

''It's not a shot hole.. it's my home '' Rick mumbled

 

 

 

'' doesn't have to be '' Negan said, not turning around

 

 

 

'' What ? '' Rick looked at him, confused

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

The sound of Rick's stomach rumbling, eased the  silence and Negan turned around, smiling

 

 

 

" come on, ill cook us breakfast, there are chickens out the back, they  are generally pretty good layers..much like yourself '' he grinned, stepping towards Rick

 

 

 

Rick smirked at him as he stalked closer and kissed him on the lips, grabbing his ass through his underwear

 

 

 

Rick laughed into his mouth

 

 

 

''I really gotta use the bathroom first though '' he pulled back from  Negan

 

 

 

Negan grinned  and stepped back to the railing,stubbing out his cigarette on it  and flicking it off into the garden somewhere

 

 

 

" Ok gorgeous, ill meet ya downstairs soon '' he grinned and grabbed Rick's face in his hands, crashing their lips together, Rick wrapping his arms around his strong back

 

 

 

 

Negan deepen the kiss and soon their tongue were tangling into eachother

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled back, smirking

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry...but  I really need to wee  '' he laughed

 

 

 

Negan grinned and flicked his eyes down to  Rick's chest

 

 

 

'' ok '' he smiled

 

 

 

Negan put a black shirt on and  went downstairs and Rick went to the bathroom

 

 

 

After he finished, he went over to the sink , splashing his face with water

 

 

 

he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, eyeing his scar, his jaw twitching 

 

 

 

he had to stop dwelling on it, it was there for the rest of his life now, it couldn't be erased

 

 

 

he sighed and went back into the bedroom, getting dressed, throwing some opium into his mouth, taking a drink from the bathroom tap to wash them down with and descended the stairs

 

 

 

it was deadly silent

 

 

 

"Negan '' he called, looking down the hallway, towards the kitchen

 

 

 

nothing

 

 

 

" Negan '' he called again

 

 

 

he must still be getting the eggs,he thought

 

 

 

 

his eyes flicked up to the painting hanging on the wall, in the sitting room, directly opposite him

 

 

 

the woman's eyes  still  had that sadness behind them, and they seemed to be looking right through Rick

 

 

 

 

a shiver ran down his spine and he furrowed his brows, walking down the hallway

 

 

 

 

he stopped at the door that Negan didnt open, the only one in the house he didnt happily show off, looking down at the brass doorknob

 

 

 

 

he raised his hand so his palm was just hovering over it and his mouth twitched in curiosity

 

 

 

Just then he heard the front door open and he pulled his hand away quickly, looking at Negan standing in the doorway

 

 

 

 

Negan narrowed his eyes at Rick knowingly, his face turned stern

 

 

 

 

A strange tension fell between the two men, Rick was caught out, his heart beating fast

 

 

 

 

he looked down to Negan's hands, where he had a tea towel filled with eggs

 

 

 

 

''Looks like they were good layers after all  " he flicked his eyes back up to Negans face, smiling weakly

 

 

 

 

'' Yeh looks like it '' he glanced down at his hands and closed the front door walking  towards Rick, down the hallway

 

 

 

Rick tensed up as the man walked up to him, stopping by his side, Rick's eyes flashing to the floor

 

 

 

"It's locked '' Negan growled, sounding dangerous

 

 

 

Rick looked up into his eyes, defiant, not backing down

 

 

 

The intense eye fucking ended when a grin  appaered on Negan's face

 

 

 

" God damn, those fucking eyes.....'' His eyes flicked down to Rick's lips and back up to his eyes

 

 

 

'' Giving me that fucking stink eye,when I'm about to cook you breakfast and everything " he leaned in to kiss Rick and he accepted

 

 

 

'' Come on, you can help me '' Negan pulled back, jerking his head toward the kitchen, walking off

 

 

 

Rick watched him leave and looked back down at the doorknob,his mind buzzing with what was so fucking secretive in there that it had to be locked

 

 

 

'' what's in there anyway ? '' he asked curiously, walking into the spacious kitchen

 

 

 

 

Negan had his back to Rick, bending into   the sink

 

 

 

'' Where '' he mumbled

 

 

 

''In that room '' Rick sat on top of the tiled bench

 

 

 

''Just some old junk, the owners kept'' he said flatly

 

 

 

 

''Why is it locked then, if it's just useless junk ?  '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

 

'' I dunno Rick, why dont you fucking ask them  '' he snapped, standing up straight, not turning around

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' Sorry didnt mean to push'' Rick said, weakly

 

 

 

both men were silent and Negan stood strangely still, over the sink

 

 

 

'' now you want to help me with this breakfast??  '' he  turned around, smiling

 

 

 

Rick couldn't keep up with his moods this morning, one minute he was loving,the next he was irate

 

 

 

''sure'' Rick said, flatly.

 

 

 

The mod soon lifted, as Negan gave  a step by step monologue of what he was doing like Rick would actually learn from it and become this great cook

 

 

 

He  didnt really help, he picked at various foods on the plates as Negan put them aside to focus on the next step

 

 

 

''hey '' he swatted his hand away but Rick managed to grab some bacon before his hand connected with his 

 

 

 

"I'm starving'' he mumbled around the  greasy cooked  bacon

 

 

 

''Greatness can't be rushed " Negan smiled, fussing over his eggs

 

 

 

Rick smiled at him, he was so focused and treating everything with care

 

 

 

''so how did you learn  to become a great  cook anyway ? '' he eyed Negan

 

 

 

Negan smirked to himself

 

 

 

'' self taught '' he glanced at Rick

 

 

 

Rick raised an eyebrow 

 

 

 

'' well how come whenever we snuck away together, all I got out of you was was canned beans and not this '' he smirked, holding up the bacon

 

 

 

'' Cause I couldn't fit my fucking kitchen in my saddlebag Rick ''  he furrowed his brows at his eggs

 

 

 

'''actually, I was taught by a very special person,  who had a lot more  patience than I do '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

''she said I was a natural and just needed practice....'' he smiled fondly down at his eggs as he whisked them

 

 

 

''I was in this kitchen for hours  at a time, wanting to learn everything from her '' he smiled

 

 

 

 

'' did the owners of the house teach you ?? '' Rick nibbled on his bacon

 

 

 

''what owners ?? '' Negan furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

''The owners of this magnificent house , of corse '' Rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

 

Negan looked blank for a moment

 

 

''Oh... yeh'' 

 

 

 

'' yeah the lady of the house taught  me'' he went over to the icebox, his back turned to Rick

 

 

 

Rick reached for  another piece of bacon

 

 

 

''If I catch you taking another bit of that bacon, ill fucking cut your finger off Grimes " he said, not turning to Rick

 

 

 

 

Rick smirked and took his hand away from the plate

 

 

 

Negan came back over with some milk, adding some to the egg mixture, glancing at Rick

 

 

 

 

"I thought you were going to  help me... not sit there snitching bacon '' he smirked

 

 

 

 

''You know I can't cook for shit...remember when I made that can of beans explode on the camp  fire ?? '' he raised an eyebrow,remembering the incident clearly

 

 

 

 

Negan laughed

 

 

 

 

" Nearly took my fucking head off " he smiled

 

 

 

 

'' You're Fucking hopeless Grimes "' he shook his head, smiling at the bowl as he whisked it

 

 

 

 

''What are they like ? ''

 

 

 

 

''who ?? '' Negan didnt look up, adding salt and pepper

 

 

 

''the owners ''

 

 

 

''oh, umm... christ, i dunno Rick they are just normal people I guess'' he shrugged

 

 

 

 

''why all the questions about the owners ?? '' he looked at him

 

 

 

'' Well, they seem like great folks to let you take over their Mansion for several days..I dont know too many people who would do that kinda thing''

 

 

 

 

''well Rick that's because you don't  know the right people'' he smirked at him

 

 

 

''Oh and you do ?  '' he raised his eyebrow

 

 

 

'' Well obviously " he grinned, raising his hands up in the air, motioning to the house

 

 

 

Rick smiled at him

 

 

 

''look why dont you go sit out on the porch and ill bring this out when it's ready  '' Negan looked back at his eggs

 

 

 

''you're no help to me anyway '' he glanced back at him, winking

 

 

 

Rick scoffed

 

 

 

" Well if that's how you feel " Rick smiled and hopped off the bench,walking behind Negan

 

 

 

Negan grabbed him by the bicep,pulling him to his lips, kissing him

 

 

'' I love you '' he smiled

 

 

Rick grinned

 

 

''I love you too '' he kissed him again and left the kitchen

 

 

 

He glanced at the locked  door as he passed it and walked outside, breathing in the fresh air, watching the horses frolic in the nearby fields

 

 

 

Negan soon brought out a tray  filled with   bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, beans, and an array of fruits  with coffee and tea to drink

 

 

 

When they finished, Negan had a cigarette in his mouth, a cup of coffee  sat on the railing beside him, his back to the scenery, Rick stood beside him, overlooking the nearby surrounding mountains

 

 

 

'' It's so beautiful here '' Rick smiled looking at the horses

 

 

 

'' You never did tell me why you left '' Rick eyed him

 

 

 

Negan's eyes flicked to him quickly  blowing out smoke

 

 

 

''Told ya...things changed...guess I got sick of being a farm hand ''he shrugged

 

 

 

'' So what ? you thought you'd become an outlaw instead ?? '' Rick questioned

 

 

 

Negan inhaled his smoke, narrowing his eyes at him

 

 

 

''  wasn't like that smart ass, Shane needed me at the time'' he huffed

 

 

 

''fucking son of a bitch, got me  sucked into the saviors..running from the law...that shit became  addictive after a while ya know '' he blew out his smoke, eyeing him

 

 

 

''what running from the law ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

''you tried it ? ''he smirked

 

 

 

Rick rolled his eyes

 

 

 

'' Your fucking ego gets  inflated i guess,The fucking thrill of the chase, lawmen on your ass, knowing damn well you're gonna get away cause you're just that fucking good " he smiled

 

 

 

'' you are  just fucking arrogant '' Rick crossed his arms across his chest

 

 

 

 Negan  smiled 

 

 

 

''One day you won't be so lucky, you will get yourself killed Negan'' Rick eyed him, seriously

 

 

 

Negan laughed a cloud of smoke coming from his mouth

 

 

 

''Im not gonna get killed Grimes, nothing can kill me, but me '' he looked at Rick

 

 

 

 

'' You take too many risks..... your luck will run out one day ''

 

 

 

'' Sounds like you're worried about me  Grimes '' he smiled 

 

 

 

Rick eyed him, and he looked at the horses, the conversation he overheard before he left between the man and Dwight suddenly popped into his mind..the words he heard..bank, and in a few days,suddenly made him anxious

 

 

 

'' You wouldn't be planning on doing anything stupid  would you ?? he glanced back at him

 

 

 

'' Like what ?  '' he looked at Rick, curiously

 

 

 

Rick looked at him sternly

 

 

 

Negan stood up, facing him

 

 

 

''Like what ....Grimes? '' he cocked his head to the side, looking at Rick with a twisted expression on his face

 

 

 

Rick hated whe he had that look,it was dangerous and menacing, his face seemed to turn dark

 

 

 

''Like robbing a bank ' Rick said, quickly

 

 

 

Negan's jaw twitched and his eyes narrowed

 

 

 

'' Now where would you get a crazy idea like that from ?? '' he stepped closer to Rick

 

 

 

'' I dont want to see you get  killed '' Rick flicked his eyes back to the mountains

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

" Hey '' he said softly

 

 

 

Rick glanced up at him

 

 

 

" Im not gonna get myself killed..the only thing that can kill me is me '' he grinned

 

 

 

Rick looked at him seriously

 

 

 

'' I dont want to lose you " he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

Negan's face softened and he closed the distance between the pair, runing his hand down Rick's face

 

 

 

"Im not going anywhere honey, you're stuck with me '' he grinned, ducking his head to catch Rick's eyes

 

 

 

Ricks stomach twisted

 

 

 

Negan leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, pulling back slightly so their noses were still touching

 

 

 

'' I swear to  you, you won't have to be alone ever again " he smiled 

 

 

 

'' Dont make me promises you won't be able to keep ''  Rick shook his head and  leaned in  kissing him  on the lips 

 

 

 

They kissed for a few seconds and Negan pulled back 

 

 

 

''  Hey ..you think your shoulders up to getting back on that horse of yours today ? '' Negan smiled

 

 

 

'' sure... why ?? ''

 

 

 

'' you sure it's  ok ?? '' Negan glanced at it

 

 

 

Rick rolled it

 

 

 

'' yep '' he smiled, thankful the opium had kicked in over an hour ago

 

 

 

''  and your  ass    ?? '' Negan smirked

 

 

 

'' yep that too '' he patted it, smirking

 

 

 

'' Good cause I wanna take you somewhere special today, it's a bit of a long ride " he looked out at the horses

 

 

 

After they had put all the plates back in the kitchen and tidied  up,they packed their bags, Rick seeing Negan stuffing a few towels into his bag and some food,wondering where the man was taking him

 

 

 

they saddled their horse  and Rick let Negan take the lead, as they rode up past the mountains and through thick bush

 

 

 

they came up to a beautiful lake, surrounded by trees, with small stones on the  bank, with lush green grass surrounding it

 

 

 

it reminded him of the stream he and Frankie had..umm played in

 

 

 

They dismounted the horses, tying them up to a nearby tree, where they had shade

 

 

 

Rick went down to the shore, looking around, breathing in the fresh air

 

 

 

''come on grimes, get ya clothes off  ''  Negan yelled as he ran past him, completely naked, diving into the water

 

 

 

Rick looked at him  wide eyed

 

 

 

Negan broke the surface flicking his hair to one side, grinning

 

 

 

 

'' Are you crazy ??  '' Rick yelled, looking around for any other people that could see him

 

 

 

 

''come on,dont be shy baby, it's just us out here '' he waved Rick in

 

 

 

 

 

Rick wasn't as jovial as Negan and cautiously looked around

 

 

 

'' Oh Come on '' Negan called

 

 

 

the water  did look inviting, it was a warm day

 

 

 

He sat down, taking his boots off first, and  began taking his shirt off slowly, his fingers hovering over each button for a moment before undoing them

 

 

 

 

''come on Rick, it will be fucking sunset by the time you get your ass in  here '' Negan scoffed

 

 

 

'' keep running your mouth and you will be in there by yourself '' Rick spat, glaring at him, and took off his shirt, standing up to undo his belt, slowly, feeling very exposed

 

 

 

 

 

Rick pulled down his pants kicking them off his feet, looking embarassed

 

 

 

'' And those '' Negan wiggled his finger at Rick's underwear, smirking

 

 

 

Rick inhaled a deep breath

 

 

 

'' come on dont be such a fucking prude Grimes'' he smirked

 

 

 

''Im not a fucking prude '' Rick pouted

 

 

 

Negan pouted, mocking him

 

 

 

Rick inhaled a deep breath and pulled down his underwear

 

 

 

Negan wolf whistled from the water as Rick felt a hot blush rising up his neck

 

 

 

 

He walked into the water, feeling it around his feet

 

 

 

he walked further in, diving in and letting the water surround him

 

 

 

he broke the surface, flicking his hair off his face and Negan was gone

 

 

 

''Negan'' he called, treading water

 

 

 

''Negan'' he called again, feeling anxious

 

 

 

suddenly something pulled him underneath the surface and he swallowed a large mouthful of lake water

 

 

 

he panicked and swam to the surface, gasping for air

 

 

 

Negan  burst out of the water in front of him,  laughing

 

 

 

''you fucking asshole ''  Rick yelled

 

 

 

''oh come on baby, it was a joke' he laughed

 

 

 

''you fucking near drowned me '' he spat, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

'''dont worry  I would have given you mouth to mouth '' he grinned

 

 

 

'' Prick '' Rick smirked, splashing him in the face

 

 

 

before Negan could retaliate, rick dived under the water, attempting to get away from the him

 

 

 

 

 Negan grabbed Rick's foot pulling him back to him, as Rick broke the surface, laughing

 

 

 

 

Negan grabbed the back of his head and crashed their lips together

 

 

 

Rick wrapped his arms around Negans shoulders  and kissed him back

 

 

 

 

They swam for a while and then came out of the water to have something to eat and lay on their towels Negan had packed, naked

 

 

 

 

the sun was warm and Rick dried quicky  

 

 

 

he sat up and glanced a Negan's  naked body

 

 

 

he had his hands behind his head, using them as a pillow, his hat was covering his face from the sun, but his mouth was  still visible and  he was wearing  a stupid smirk

 

 

 

he was beautiful

 

 

 

he was a perfectly tanned, even though Rick had never  seen him without his  full sleeved shirt and pants

 

 

 

his skin was smooth, just a small amount of black hair was scattered on his chest and around his crotch, his body taught and muscled from years of riding horses

 

 

 

 

 Rick smiled to himself, eyes flicking down to his dick that lay placid as he sunbaked

 

 

 

even his dick was beautiful and Rick licked his lips looking at it

 

 

 

he smiled to himself and crawled on his hands and knees over to Negan

 

 

 

Negan flinched  slightly, feeling Rick's presence

 

 

 

'' what are you doing gorgeous ?? '' he smiled,under his hat

 

 

 

Rick looked down at his dick and climbed on top of Negan, propping himself up on his hands and knees, hovering just inches away from his lips

 

 

 

he kissed Negan on his lips, pulling back, taking his hat off his face, and kissing him again

 

 

 

Negan took one arm out from under his head, pulling Rick closer buy the back of his head

 

 

 

Rick pulled off and Negan  squinted his eyes against the  sun  as Rick began to slowly trail kisses down his chest

 

 

 

" where you going ? '' Negan smirked

 

 

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to the older man and  swirled his  tongue around  each dark nipple, as Negan let a small moan

 

 

 

 

He continued kissing down past his chest and stomach, finally, he  stilled, hovering just over his dick which was starting to come to life

 

 

 

he looked up to Negan who had his neck craned, trying to see what Rick was doing, smiling

 

 

 

He put one hand on the back of Rick's curls gently, not pushing, just resting there

 

 

 

Rick smirked at him and took his dick in one hand, sucking the head

 

 

 

Negan made  a hissing sound and let his head fall back to the  towel beneath him

 

 

 

''fuck Rick'' he purred

 

 

 

Rick flicked out his tongue lapping at the head and then put his entire mouth over it, sinking down on it, taking all his length in his mouth, until he felt  it hit the back of his tonsils

 

 

 

he pulled off quickly so as   to  not choke and began bobbing up and down while running a hand simultaneously  along his shaft

 

 

 

Negan's grip on Rick's head became tighter and he pulled on Rick's curls

 

 

 

'' Fuck  Rick, right there baby..fuck me, I love  your  sweet mouth''  he gritted his teeth, head tilted back on the towel

 

 

 

Rick flicked his head with his tongue,tasting pre cum as Negan yelled out

 

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to him, smiling around his dick

 

 

 

he hollowed his cheeks sucking tightly, just on the head

 

 

 

Negan was writhing beneath him like a fucking fish out of water

 

 

 

he popped off and ran his tongue down the underside of his dick, licking his scrotum, sucking on each ball, and rolling them around his tongue

 

 

 

" Jesus H christ '' Negan yelled, grabbing Rick's curls in a tight fist

 

 

 

Negan's dick was now fully erect and his balls tight

 

 

 

Rick licked a stripe back up his dick and flicked the head with his tongue,sucking hard on it

 

 

 

" fuck... baby I'm close'' Negan panted, holding his head up, his hooded eyes trained on Rick

 

 

 

Rick took his dick in his hand and swallowed it making drool spill  out  over his lips

 

 

 

He dragged his hand up and down his dick spreading his spit, sucking on the head , bobbing up and down

 

 

 

Negan unintentionally pushed Rick's head down onto his dick roughly and Rick gagged

 

 

 

he immediately let go of the back of Ricks head, flicking his eyes down to him

 

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

 

''sorry baby'' he smiled

 

 

 

Rick raised an eyebrow at him and nipped the tip of his head with his teeth, just a little, to startle him

 

 

 

''you little fuck'' he hissed

 

 

 

Rick smirked around his dick and began bobbing up and down quickly

 

 

 

Negan threw his head back, his hands in his hair, back arched off the towel ,slightly

 

 

 

Rick did everything he knew Negan liked, and he liked Negan to do to him

 

 

 

He bobbed up and down faster, as Negan's grip on his curls became tighter, his breathing rapid and unsteady

 

 

 

 

''FUCKK '' he yelled, grabbing the back of Rick's head again holding it in place as he came, shaking

 

 

 

 

warm cum hit the back of Rick's throat and he took everything Negan had to give him, some spilling out the side of his mouth

 

 

 

 

Negan's body trembled underneath him as he rode down his orgasm and Rick  gave his head  one last flick with his tongue, as Negan's body jolted in response

 

 

 

he pulled off his dick and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand getting off  Negan and sitting on the towel beside him, watching the man bathe in the bliss of his orgasm 

 

 

 

Rick smiled, looking down at him

 

 

 

his eyes were closed, cheeks flushed red, mouth parted slightly and his chest was rising and falling quickly

 

 

 

he  eventually opened his eyes, hooded, looking up at Rick, smiling

 

 

 

'' You're fucking amazing honey " he grinned, sitting up on his elbows

 

 

 

Rick  leaned down kissing him

 

 

 

he went to pull away  but  Negan sat up straight,  grabbing the side of his face, tugging him in closer

 

 

 

 

They kissed a bit longer and eventually got re dressed,getting back onto the horses

 

 

 

''I wanna show you one more place, follow me " Negan smiled, before pulling his bandana up over his mouth,so it  sat just under his eyes, pushing his hat down

 

 

 

he pulled on Ragnar's reins and they trotted off

 

 

 

Rick smiled, following him

 

 

 

they rode for a while through the bush and came out at the bottom of a hill

 

 

 

"There are horse tracks all the way up " Negan said, as Rick sat on Boots beside him

 

 

 

Rick looked up at the high hill, feeling a little bit nervous about the steep decline  but  followed Negan up

 

 

 

it was a steady climb and Rick looked down the side of the hill... if anything should spook the horses, they would surely both be killed by the fall alone

 

 

 

Rick was  on edge until they finally reached the top, where it was flat ground

 

 

 

 they dismounted the horses,tying them up to some trees nearby

 

 

 

'' Killer view from up here '' Negan pulled down his bandana, grinning, walking toward the edge of the hill

 

 

 

Rick  walked over to him, gingerly watching his step, and stood beside him, looking out over the horizon,it was beautiful, with nothing to see for miles but trees and mountains,not a single town,or house in sight

 

 

 

Greens and browns of the landscape seem to dance on the fading sunlight, as the shadows of the mountains in the west gave a strange mysterious feel to the scene

 

 

 

'' Told ya  we were all alone out here '' Negan purred in his ear and sat down on a grassy area his knee bent with his arm slung over it

 

 

 

 

Rick followed him and sat in between his legs, leaning back onto his chest

 

 

 

'' It really is something ain't it ??  '' Negan whispered in  his ear, kissing him on the side of the face

 

 

 

it was something that was sure, Rick hadn't seen anything like it, in his entire life

 

 

 

they sat in comfortable silence as they watched the sun begin to go down behind the mountains

 

 

 

" I could see myself watching the sun go down every damn day from out here "' Negan said, drawing Rick's attention from the beautiful view

 

 

 

 

" Yeh me too" he snuggled closer into Negans chest, feeling a chill starting to kick in the air

 

 

 

'' we could you know '' Negan whispered in his ear

 

 

 

" could what  ??'' Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

"Stay here..live here '' he said

 

 

 

Rick laughed

 

 

 

''Yeh sure''

 

 

 

''Im serious, get some more  horses..... start a working ranch  ''

 

 

 

Rick sat up straight, pulling  out of Negan's arms, looking at him like he was crazy

 

 

 

'' you're being serious?   what about the saviors ? '' Rick furrowed his brows

 

 


''what about them ? '' Negan said, flatly

 

 


''what ?  you think your men will just wave you off happily  ?? ...for fuck sake Negan  you're their leader.. most of them  can't even  take  a shit without your ok'' he scoffed

 

 

 

'' Who will take your place ?? Simon ?? fuck, can you imagine what he'd do if he had full control of the saviors ?? He'd use them  to run every town they come across to the fucking ground  '' Rick raised his voice, shuttering to think what that asshole would do and the carnage he would cause

 

 

 

'' Didn't say I'd leave Simon in charge of nothing '' Negan spat

 

 

 


'' Maye ill just disband the Saviors for good....I'm 45  years old this year Rick, I'm getting too old to be robbing banks and living it rough in a tent '' he sounded defensive

 

 

 


''And what about the women and kids huh...you gonna just abandon them ?? ''

 

 

 

 

Negan narrowed  his eyes at Rick

 

 

 

''I wouldn't be abandoning anyone " he spat

 

 

 

'' The women and kids  are  more than welcome to come with us.....the next town over from the property  is about half a days horse ride away, its called Woodbury, its twice the size of Black River, plenty of housing for them,  even has a school ''

 

 

 

'' What property ??  "' Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

 

" you  mean the place we are staying in now ??'' he raised his voice

 

 

 

"oh yeh cause im sure the owners will just happily  move out and let you move in "' he stood up, almost laughing at how absurd it all sounded

 

 

 

Negan stood up, seemingly frustrated 

 

 

 

''forget it, it was a stupid idea '' he turned and walked back to the horses

 

 

 

Rick looked at him, confused and walked after him

 

 

 

'' I Didn't say it was stupid '' Rick began

 

 

 

Negan spun around, his face furious

 

 

 

 

''  It would  be a fresh start for us all ''  he said , angrily

 

 

 


'' You know it will never work   ''

 

 

 


''why ??  '' Negan snapped

 

 

 

Rick didnt have a reason why it wouldn't, all of this had just come out of nowhere suddenly

 

 

 

''The town has a saloon, barber, general store twice the size of black river, blacksmith, shoemakers, milliners, bakers, butchers, and even a gunsmith....better people too  '' he mumbled

 

 

 


'' what and Black River doesn't have decent people ??  '' Rick spat

 

 

 

'' Didnt mean it like that and you know it "' he snapped

 

 

 

''yeah it all sounds wonderful Negan but you know it will never happen, people like us dont get to be happy''

 

 

 

'' why''

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly

 

 

 


''arent you happy right now, right at this very moment ?? '' he  furrowed his brow

 

 

 


'' of course, I am...but  '' his face softened

 

 

 

''But guys like us, we  don't get our happily ever after''

 

 

 

'' Speak for yourself '' Negan scoffed

 

 

 

Rick looked down at the ground

 

 

 

" you know I can't leave Black River "

 

 

 

"why ? '' he glared at him over Ragnar's saddle, leaning his arms across it

 

 

 

Rick looked at him stupidly

 

 

 

"because im the fucking sheriff Negan..I've been gone long enough already.....fuck I can just imagine what mess Jerry has got himself into out there, he's probably shot himself in the foot with his gun or locked himself in the cells " he ran a hand down his face

 

 

 

 

'' The girls..they need me '' he added

 

 

 

''You're using them as an excuse, that all '' Negan spat, climbing into his saddle

 

 

 

''What ??  '' Rick spat,wide eyed

 

 

 

Negan pulled on Ragnar's reins,turning him around

 

 

 

''Come on were losing the light,dont want  you falling to your death on the way down " he didnt look at Rick and rode off

 

 

 

'' Negan '' Rick called after him, but he didnt turn back

 

 

 

what the fuck just happened ?? one minute they were sitting there enjoying each other's company the next he was pissed off

 

 

 

He climbed up into Boots's saddle, steering him forward as he trotted after Negan

 

 

 

Rick rode behind Negan at a distance, the older man occasionally turning around to see if he was still there

 

 

it was dark by the time they got back to the house, Negan had stopped just up ahead of the fence and Rick furrowed his brows wondering why he wasn't taking Ragnar into the stables

 

 

 

he rode up to his side, looking at him curiously

 

 

 

His eyes were narrowed, looking at the house

 

 

 

''what's wrong ? '' he whispered

 

 

 

''I didnt leave any lights on when we  left'' he mumbled underneath his bandana, hand sitting on his gun in his holster

 

 

 

Rick glanced at the house and it was  indeed filled with lights, almost every window had a light on inside

 

 

 

''Wait here " he grunted, getting off Ragnar and pulling his gun from his holster

 

 

 

"what, no.... I'm coming with you '' Rick began to get off Boots

 

 

 

''I said stay here '' he glared at Rick

 

 

 

" Take the horses back to the stables, i'll sort this out " He grunted

 

 

 

"Negan..no I'll '' He began

 

 

 

"I said stay here !! '' He yelled, angrily

 

 

 

'' you dont have a weapon... you'll just be in danger " he pointed his finger at Rick, possessively

 

 

 

" and whose faults that ??  " Rick spat spitefully down at him from the saddle

 

 

 

Negan glared up at him, his eyes only just visible underneath his hat and between his bandana, they were cold and angry

 

 

 

" Just fucking stay here "' he snapped and ran towards the house

 

 

 

" Negan '' Rick gritted  his  teeth,as the  man disappeared behind some trees

 

 

 

" Fuck '' Rick yelled

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Negan leave the saviors?? could he be serious ??

 

who's in the house ??

Chapter 42

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Rick grabbed Ragnar's reins and rode  Boots across the paddock towards the stables

 

 

His heart was in his throat, as he put the two horses in the stables, taking off their riding gear

 

 

 

Who the fuck was in the house?? The house that Negan was currently alone in ??

 

 

 

  He also thought if it were indeed robbers, they wouldn't be turning lights on ?? drawing attention to himself

 

 

 

Maybe the owners had just come back earlier ?? 

 

 

His hand dropped to his belt where his holster would normally sit, feeling for weapons that weren't there..he felt so fucking useless

 

 

He  ran towards the barn, glancing around hands on his hips

 

 

there was a tractor in the corner, bails of hay along the wall, bags of grains and equipment hanging on a wall

 

 

His  eyes scanned over the equipment for anything he could use as a substitute  weapon

 

 

his eyes landed on a small hatchet, it was similar to his machete, but didnt have a long blade like it,

 

 

he grabbed it off the wall, feeling the longish wooden handle in his palm, the sharp blade was made from a  beautiful silver, steel with a hammerhead on the other side

 

 

The bright red handle gave it a distinctive appearance

 

 

he gave it a few test swings and was surprised at how light it was and easy to maneuver

 

 

he tightened his palm around it and it felt strangely surreal  to have a weapon in his hand after this long

 

 

he turned  and ran towards the house, he hadn't heard any gunfire so that was a good sign

 

 

he crept up the front steps, straining  to hear any voices, but it was deathly silent

 

 

his eyes darted from side to side as he stepped onto  the porch, his heart in his throat

 

 

the front door was closed and he slowly turned the brass doorknob

 

 

he pushed the door open with  force, by his shoulder,  to find Negan standing next to a woman in her mid 50's

 

 

they both looked at Rick in surprise as he came crashing through the door like a madman, wielding a hatchet, eyes filled with rage

 

 

" Rick '' Negan looked at him like he had forgotten he was outside

 

 

He lowered the hatchet seeing the man was alright, hiding it behind his back

 

 

Negan walked over to him, holing out his arm

 

 

"Mary...id like to introduce you to someone, this is Rick Grimes'' he grinned, looking adoringly at him

 

 

Rick blinked like an idiot and looked at the woman 

 

 

she looked him up and down distastefully like he was an insect on the bottom of her boot

 

 

'' Oh when you said you had brought a guest with you, I assumed it would  be a  nice lady friend" she sounded disappointed, looking Rick over

 

 

Negan wrapped an arm around Rick's shoulder, practically  pulling him forward to the woman

 

 

''Rick this is Mary, she runs the house when the owners are not here..she didnt know  I was  occupying it for a few days and came to check on the animals'' Negan smiled at her

 

 

Rick put the hatchet handle in the back of his pants and  held out his hand to the woman

 

 

''Mam '' he tilted his hat to her

 

 

she eyed him and glanced at Negan giving him a stern look

 

 

after a few tense seconds of Rick holding his  hand ut to her, she took his hand in hers and shook it, firmly

 

 

 

'' You dont look like...'' she paused, glancing at Negan, letting go of Rick's hand, that she was squeezing quite tightly for an old woman

 

 

 

''You dont look like a savior.... and I know most of Negan's gang   '' she eyed Rick suspiciously

 

 

 

Rick coughed, almost choking on his own spit

 

 

 

Negan laughed, hitting him on the back, as Rick contained his composure

 

 

 

" A savior," he said,watery eyed

 

 

she looked at Rick like he was an idiot

 

 

 

''yes.... that's what Negan is ''

 

 

Rick looked at Negan, dumbfounded

 

 

 

"it's ok Rick, she knows who I am'' he grinned like it was nothing like they were discussing the fucking weather

 

 

 

'' I know he's in an outlaw gang, but my Negan isn't that barbarian all those people make him out to be " she beamed at Negan

 

 

 

My Negan -Rick raised an eyebrow at her

 

 

 

'' I've known Mary for years, she was the housekeeper here when I used to live here, she cooked and cleaned for the owners among other things ...she the one who  taught me how to cook like a professional'' he beamed at her, seemingly forgetting Rick was standing there

 

 

'' Oh, come now..you're making me blush Negan'' she waved him off

 

 

''You had the talent, it just needed to be nurtured'' she smiled fondly at him

 

 

Rick glanced between the two, feeling slightly uncomfortable

 

 

''I live in Woodbury these days and come out to the house when Negan isn't here'' she smiled at him

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

'' but dont the owners live here ?? '' He questioned

 

 

 

Mary looked  at him, shocked slightly, and looked at Negan like she had said the wrong thing

 

 

 

''oh yes..of corse the owners, how silly of me..... I'll admit I'm getting forgetful in my old age Rick  '' she chuckled

 

 

'' come on Rick, Mary has offered to make us supper '' Negan took his arm off from around Rick's shoulders and began walking towards the staircase

 

 

'' She is staying for the night, it's too dark to send her home now, I'm sure you understand'' he said, turning around

 

 

Rick looked at the woman

 

 

''oh yes, no of corse mam '' he smiled weakly

 

 

'' well you two lads get  washed up  and  I'll  start supper '' she smiled at Negan, not giving Rick another glance

 

 

''Thanks, Mary you're a darl '' he smiled and began going up the stairs

 

 

'' Well Mr. Grimes, I look forward to getting to know  you " she looked him up and down again

 

 

Rick smiled, tipping his hat at her as she turned to walk down the hallway into the kitchen

 

 

Rick looked up to Negan who had disappeared up the staircase and he walked over to hang his hat on the hook, going up the staircase

 

 

he entered the room as Negan was unbuttoning  his shirt

 

 

he stood in the doorway arms folded, looking at the man

 

 

Negan glanced at him

 

 

'' What do you say, you and I go take a nice relaxing soak together ??  " he grinned his stupid wolf grin, taking his shirt off

 

 

Rick's face was stern

 

 

''What ? '' he smiled

 

 

'' who is that ? ''

 

 

"I just introduced you to her, she is the housekeeper for the owners here, she didnt know I was staying for a few days and she came to check up on the place'' he furrowed his brows like Rick was an idiot

 

 

''she knows your a savior  "' he furrowed his brows

 

 

''yeh, so?? " he said casually like it was no big deal

 

 

Rick scoffed

 

 

''Oh.... I just didnt know it was something you were telling strangers  ''  he said sarcastically

 

 

 

'' Mary 's no stranger, I've known her for years..she  became  like a mother to me while I was here '' he said, starting to undo his belt

 

 

''how come you never mentioned her before then if she's so important ?? ''

 

 

''I dunno, guess I haven't told you every  single aspect of my past Rick " he shrugged

 

 

 

''  you got that right '' he mumbled, spitefully

 

 

 

Negan stood up straight glaring at him

 

 

 

''you got something to say, Grimes, spit it out '' he sighed

 

 

 

''does she know about us ? ''

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

''what about us ?? '' he tilted his head

 

 

Rick looked at him, knitting his brows 

 

 

''that we are together'' he gritted his teeth, looking out into the hallway, trying to keep his voice down

 

 

Negan was silent and began taking his pants off, avoiding the question

 

 

''ill take that as a no'' Rick nodded

 

 

''what's it matter anyway....does she have to know ?''

 

 

Rick huffed

 

 

''I think if she sees you fucking me in the bed, she might be slightly curious '' he said sarcastically

 

 

 

'' look shell be gone tomorrow '' he sat on the end of the bed, taking his pants off, leaving him in his underwear

 

 

 

''Why are you making a deal out of this ?  " he sighed, running a hand over his face

 

 

'' are you ashamed of me ?? '' he glared at Negan

 

 

Negan's  looked at him like he'd just been slapped in the face

 

 

''I've never  once..not ever, have been ashamed of you Rick..fucking ever '' he spat angrily, glaring at him

 

 

 

Rick was unconvinced

 

 

 

'' Why did she assume It was a woman that  you had brought here ?''

 

 

 

Negan glanced at him

 

 

 

''do they even know you fuck men Negan''

 

 

 

'' Will you keep  your fucking voice down.... and I dont fuck men...just you '' he added, like that made a difference

 

 

''do they ? '' Rick spat

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

''Negan''

 

 

''no ok''

 

 

''And you've brought women here before ? ''

 

 

''No.....i haven't brought anyone here except you, I told you that before....you were special ''

 

 

''well, wouldn't be the first time you've kept something from me  would it  '' he spat

 

 

'' what the fuck is that supposed to mean ? '' Negan gritted his teeth, stepping toward Rick

 

 

Rick was silent and looked away 

 

 

'' I asked you a fucking question '' Negan growled like a wild animal, stepping closer to Rick

 

 

Rick   glared at him 

 

 

'' I know you and the saviors are planning to rob a bank in a few days '' he spat

 

 

Negan's face flinched slightly, if Rick wasn't looking at him he would have missed the slight look of fear in his eyes

 

 

 

''I know you don't have my weapons in camp either .... you fucking know how precious they are to me and you fucking lied straight to my face " he spat, feeling cocky like he had dirt on Negan

 

 

 

Negan's lip curled up 

 

 

''you wanna talk about fucking  dirty  little secrets Grimes ..huh ??  '' he snarled

 

 

'' Frankie told me  all about your little hand job in the stream ? ''  he smirked, eyes filled with spite

 

 

Rick's smirk disappeared in replace of a shocked expression....... what the fuck...why would she tell Negan that  ??

 

 

''I can see by that glazed look in your eyes, that you weren't expecting me to find out about  that one  huh '' he looked Rick up and down, smirking

 

 

''  And here I was thinking your fucking heart belonged to Lori..what would she think about you getting a fucking hand job,  Rick " he shook his head, smirking

 

 

 

'' dont you fucking mention  her name " Rick yelled

 

 

 

Negan's face twisted sinisterly

 

 

 

''I've seen the  way you fucking freeze up when you see a knife lately too '' he smirked

 

 

Rick face stilled

 

 

''oh yeah..you thought you could hide that one from me ??  I have eyes Rick '' 

 

 

Rick's looked at the floor

 

 

'' When were you gonna tell me huh'' his voice softened

 

 

 

''it's not your concern '' Rick  mumbled

 

 

 

''Everything about you is my fucking concern Rick '' he yelled in his face, stepping closer, so close their noses were almost touching

 

 

Rick didnt look at him, his eyes trained on the floor 

 

 

'' I'm sorting it out '' he mumbled

 

 

 

''  No, you're not sorting it, you're dealing with it alone, you take any shit that's thrown at you solely like you always do..you never fucking open up to me....I thought we were past all this secretive fucking shit ..... FUCKING HELL RICK '' he yelled, slamming his palm up against the wall beside Rick's head

 

 

Rick flinched at the man's anger, it always came out of nowhere

 

 

 

Negan was still, Rick could see his chest rising and falling with Rage

 

 

 

" so dont talk  to me about fucking secrets  " he spat, pushing off the wall

 

 

''Im going for a bath'' he snapped and left the room, leaving Rick standing against the wall, his heart racing

 

 

 

Rick wanted nothing more than to pack his bags right now and leave, but that's what he always did, run away and he wasn't going to this time, And it was too late to be trying to find his way back to the savior camp anyway

 

 

 

Rick stood out on the balcony, a million thoughts flowing through his mind, looking up at the night sky, he  wished he was back at Black River

 

 

 

'' Baths free" Negan mumbled behind him in the bedroom, startling Rick

 

 

 

he was storming around the bedroom naked, rummaging through the cupboard, looking through clothes that hung there

 

 

 

Rick sighed and left the balcony,  glancing  at Negan, he had his back to Rick, not saying anything

 

 

 

Rick went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaning his forehead on the wooden door, sighing

 

 

He began to undress and his hand fell on the hatchet he had forgotten all about that was still in the back of his pants, it fitted like a glove that he didnt even feel it until he touched it

 

 

he looked at the red handle, admiring it, gripping his hand around it, feeling some kind of strange  familiarity with it

 

 

he furrowed his brows at it and walked over to the mirror looking at his reflection holding it

 

 

he tilted his head, turning the weapon in his hands, liking  the way it looked in his hand

 

 

he shook his head and put it down on the sink, getting undressed and running the bath

 

 

he sat soaking in the warm water, not wanting to go downstairs and look Negan in the eye

 

 

After washing himself he got  out, watching the bath water run down the small drain, the water swirling around and around

 

 

He looked in the mirror as he had done several times in the last day

 

 

he tilted his head up looking at the stitches in his throat that were only just slightly  hidden behind the corse hair running down from his beard, he shivered at the thought that Carol would need to take them out as soon as he returned to camp

 

 

He tamed his wet curls and put his shorter ones in front of the scar on his forehead and exited the room

 

 

he crossed the hallway into the bedroom and tucked the hatchet into his bag with his other belongings got dressed

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath, leaving   the room and descending the stairs to hear laughter coming from the  sitting room

 

 

his heart skipped a beat at the thought of going in there with that painting looking at him, Negan's angry eyes boring holes into him, and this Mary woman who seemed to dislike him on site asking him questions, getting in under his skin

 

 

He glanced at the front door, and wondered if it was too late to make a run for it ?? 

 

 

" Rick'' Mary's voice stopped him in his tracks

 

 

''Come in and join us  son   " she called happily

 

 

son !! ...... it had been a long time since he was called that ..the last time was from Hershlel's  mouth, as he lay dying in the street

 

 

Rick  put on a fake smile, inhaling a deep breath, and entered the room, hands in the pockets of his pants

 

 

'' would you like a drink before supper Rick  "' Mary smiled cheerfully as she stood beside the liquor bottles on the side table

 

 

'' just a whiskey please mam'' he smiled 

 

 

''please call me Mary'' she turned around pouring him a drink

 

 

He glanced at Negan. who glared at him over his glass

 

 

Rick looked away from him as Mary handed him the glass

 

 

 

'' here you go, now let's  eat before supper gets cold  '' she smiled, motioning to the hallway

 

 

 

''thankyou '' he said and took a sip of the whiskey, feeling  it burn the back of his throat

 

 

 

he didnt so much as glance at Negan and followed closely behind Mary into  the dining room

 

 

It was beautifully set, much like Negan had it the previous night

 

 

"Please sit "' she motioned to a chair for Rick and Negan sat down opposite him, glaring at him

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the older man..why the fuck was he so pissed off..Negan had lied about a lot more shit than Rick had

 

 

" Now ill just go and get the chicken from the oven, you two keep yourselves amused'' she grinned at them both, putting her hand on Negan's shoulder, smiling warmly at him

 

 

 

she left the room, leaving the two men alone

 

 

Rick looked down at the crocheted table cloth as he felt Negan's eyes boring into him and he furrowed his brows

 

 

He picked up his glass, swallowing the entire lot, hoping Mary would return quickly, as the tension in the room was making him feel uneasy

 

 

'' Dont get fucking wasted tonight Grimes'' Negan spat from across the table

 

 

Rick's eye's flashed to him

 

 

''  I Wasn't planning to '' he spat back, glaring at him

 

 

Negan looked at him sternly, sitting back in his chair, rolling the dark liquid around  in the glass in his hand

 

 

 

'' well you know what you're like when you mix opium with whiskey'' he said spitefully

 

 

 

Rick felt rage burning in his gut, he was looking for a fight

 

 

" I haven't taken any fucking opium '' he spat

 

 

''Then why did you bring it with you then "  Negan raised an eyebrow, cocky like

 

 

" So you've been going through my bag now  ?? "Rick leaned forward, elbows on the   table

 

 

Negan opened his mouth to say something but....

 

 

" Here it is boys " Mary's loud voice echoed through the room, making both men sit up straight and look at her

 

 

she had a beautiful roast chicken on a silver serving tray, complete with roast vegetables surrounding it

 

 

Rick's mouth watered at the sight of it

 

 

she laid it down in the middle of  the table, stepping back and smiling at it like she was extremely proud of herself.... and so she should be, it looked amazing

 

 

''Now leave enough room for dessert you two" she smiled at them both

 

 

 

Rick looked at her

 

 

'' Oh..I've forgotten the gravy...Negan my dear  will you carve this up for me  ?? '' she smiled and disappeared out of the room once again

 

 

 

Negan stood up and picked up the knife that Rick hadn't even seen on the table and he began sharpening it against a honing steel

 

 

 

his heart immediately began racing and his palms became sweaty

 

 

 

he wiped them down the thigh of his pants as he watched Negan absent mindedly swing the knife back and forth

 

 

Negan glanced at him and he stopped suddenly, looking back at the knife

 

 

''oh fuck.... shit .....you ok ? '' he said genuinely

 

 

'' what do you care ? '' Rick glared up at him

 

 

''I fucking care you asshole '' he spat back

 

 

Rick stood up abruptly feeling like he couldn't swallow properly and went over to the liquor bottles, pouring another whiskey

 

 

" Rick, I dont think..... " Negan began

 

 

'' Just carve the  damn bird  up will you " Rick spat, not looking at him or the knife in his hands, swallowing the entire glass of whiskey in one mouthful, slamming the glass down on the side table, his hands beginning to shake

 

 

Negan was silent as Rick poured himself another drink

 

 

'' OK... I think I've remembered everything now " Mary's voice made Rick close his eyes, and inhale a deep  shaky breath

 

 

"Are you ok Rick ?  '' she asked

 

 

''Im fine mam...Mary '' he corrected himself, closing his eyes tightly trying to calm himself 

 

 

she looked at him as Negan carved up the chicken

 

 

''ok well sit..sit before it all goes cold'' she sat down as Negan handed her a slice of chicken breast

 

 

Rick turned around and the knife was gone from Negan's hands

 

 

he felt sweat forming on his brow as he walked back over and sat  down

 

 

Mary looked at him strangely

 

 

'' Whats ever is wrong Rick  ?? '' she looked at him concerned

 

 

Rick glanced at Negan who looked at him

 

 

''Must be this home brewed whiskey..it sure does pack a punch..nothing like it  from where im from, that's for sure '' he lied, smiling at her

 

 

she smiled

 

 

'' It sure is very strong'' she laughed

 

 

''Did Negan tell you I made that myself, out in the barn ?? '' she motioned outside

 

 

Rick glared at Negan

 

 

 

''No he didnt, but there are a few things he's been  neglecting to tell me.......so '' he shrugged

 

 

 

Negan's lip curled up over the glass he held to his mouth

 

 

''well I add a  secret ingredient to it when  it's brewing, so  go easy or you'll be on the floor after a few glasses '' she laughed

 

 

 

'' Dont worry Mary ill keep an eye on him " Negan grinned at her

 

 

Rick smirked at him

 

 

 

"Yeh he's real good at keeping his eye on me " he spat spitefully

 

 

 

Negan glared at him

 

 

 

'' well that's what good friends are for isn't it '' Mary smiled as she loaded some sprouts into her plate

 

 

the two men eyed each other across the table

 

 

 

'' On that subject, it's a strange friendship..if you dont mind me saying, Rick... I  mean Negan being..who he is and you being a sheriff' '' she eyed him

 

 

 

Negan had obviously been telling Mary all about him

 

 

" Oh I agree Mary..it is an unusual..... friendship'' he spat the last word

 

 

''I mean who in their wildest dreams could have imagined the both of us being anything other  than  enemies'' he glared at Negan

 

 

'' Guess we just clicked '' Negan glared at Rick

 

 

"well I think it's lovely " Mary said

 

 

they both looked at her, stupidly

 

 

 

''That you two could look beyond your differences, look beyond what you both stand for, what you both look like on the outside to the people around you, and become friends, you have not yielded to what   society thinks you should be to one another..a sheriff and  an outlaw... enemies '' she smiled at her plate

 

 

Rick looked at Negan who looked at him

 

 

her words sunk in, they were lucky to have found each other, he had forgotten how Negan had saved him so many times, he had been there for him so many times he had lost count, made him feel safe and it was so stupid  that  they were fighting about some insignificant shit right now

 

 

'' I'll drink to that " Negan raised his glass, smiling at Rick

 

 

Rick smiled and raised his in the air

 

 

Mary smiled and raised hers, as they joined their glasses  together

 

 

'' Here's to good friendships and good food '' Mary said happily

 

 

Rick and Negan looked at each other from  across the table, smiling

 

 

The mood lifted as the night wore on, Mary had Rick in fits of laughter as she told stories about when Negan had arrived on the farm, an inexperienced, young farm hand, and his many misadventures with the animals and farm equipment

 

 

Negan sat in the chair,red faced, embarrassed, laughing

 

 

Rick looked at him, thinking how beautiful he was when he smiled

 

 

'' Oh..listen to me rambling on.... I've forgotten all about the dessert '' Mary said, looking at the table

 

 

'' I'll go and get it '' Negan stood up

 

 

"you've done enough for one night......Rick can help me " he glanced at him

 

 

''oh how nice Negan '' she smiled warmly up to him

 

 

 

Rick eyed him 

 

 

" Come on Grimes' he jerked his head to the kitchen, smiling

 

 

he didnt know if it was the whiskey starting to go to his head, but he stood up and followed him into the kitchen

 

 

as soon as the  swinging  door  shut, Negan grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him up against the nearby wall, smashing his lips into his

 

 

Rick was slightly stunned for a second and still  pissed at the man, he pushed him in the chest, making him step back away from him

 

 

 

he grinned at Rick like it didnt bother him, a grin plastered on his face, eyes filled with want

 

 

 

 Rick's stomach flipped

 

 

 

he grabbed Negan by his shirt collar and pulled him back to his lips

 

 

It was rushed, it was passionate, it was tounges twisting into each other, it was hands in hair

 

 

Negan pulled on Rick's curls, making him tilt his head up to the ceiling, as he attacked his neck with his lips, nipping at his skin with his teeth

 

 

 

he shoved his knee up in between Rick's legs, rubbing it against his crotch

 

 

 

Rick closed his eyes letting out a soft moan, his dick responding to the friction immediately

 

 

 

his head was swimming with booze and lust as Negan began untucking Rick's shirt from his pants, running his hands up his sides

 

 

 

'' Fuck Rick.... I'm so fucking hard for you  right now " Negan purred in his ear, nipping at his earlobe

 

 

 

Rick was semi hard and he licked his lips, mouth parted

 

 

 

'' We...We cant..'' he stammered his dick straining in his pants

 

 

Negan brushed over one of his nipples with his hand and Rick's breath caught in his throat

 

 

Negan saw his reaction and grinned against his neck, intentionally grabbing one in his thumb and forefinger, twisting it gently

 

 

Rick jerked up against the wall, mouth parted

 

 

Negan ran his hands down both his sides again and put his mouth over Rick's, sticking his tongue in

 

 

 

he pushed his head back into the wall gently as their tounges twisted and intertwined

 

 

 

Negan pulled off abruptly, leaving Rick hard and panting against the wall

 

 

 

'' I wanna see you in the Barn after dessert " he purred, lust dripping from his tongue, as he stepped away from Rick, looking him up and down

 

 

Rick's chest  was rising and falling as his breath steadied, watching Negan adjust his dick in his pants and turn around beginning to dish up dessert like  nothing just happened between them just now

 

 

Rick stood up straight, fixing his hair which had been tussled, and adjusted himself in his pants

 

 

Negan plated what looked like  bread and butter pudding with sultanas in it into 3 bowls, and put some cream on top, glancing up at Rick still standing by the door, looking flushed

 

 

He smirked over at him, two bowls in his hands, walking up to him

 

 

He eyed him, smiling

 

 

''well come on, Mary's waiting " he smirked and disappeared out of the kitchen, leaving Rick standing alone

 

 

He took a few minutes to compose himself, feeling incredibly horny now that Negan had got him all riled up

 

 

He took his bowl into the dining room where Mary and Negan were talking amongst themselves

 

 

"Here he is, We thought you had gotten lost Rick "  Mary smiled at him

 

 

Rick glanced at Negan, who was smirking at him over his spoon of dessert

 

 

"oh..I ..I just had to use the lavatory'' he smiled weakly, sitting down

 

 

he glanced at Negan who winked  at him, his dick twitching in response and he looked down at his bowl quickly

 

 

'' This looks amazing Mary, thank you for tonight " Rick said, smiling at her

 

 

" Didnt I tell you she was a better  cook than me  " Negan smiled at her, adoringly

 

 

'' Oh nonsense Negan'' she grinned at him, putting her hand on top of his

 

 

They ate their dessert, and Negan and Rick finished theirs in record time

 

 

Negan sat back in his chair, rubbing his stomach

 

 

 

''Well you sure know how to feed a man Mary, that was unbelievably fantastic '' he smiled at her

 

 

 

'' Yes..Thank you again, here I thought Negan was a great cook, I was mistaken '' Rick added, glancing at Negan

 

 

 

Negan smirked at him

 

 

''So.... Rick ... what do you say we go and get these animals tended to before bed  huh   ?? '' Negan stood up as Rick looked at him dumbly

 

 

 

Rick looked at Mary who stood up and began collecting their dessert bowls in her hands

 

 

 

''That's a good idea Negan..can you check on my horse please love, i put him in the paddock when i arrived and he will need to go into the stables for the night '' she glanced at him, as he nodded  

 

 

 

Rick stood up

 

 

 

"' Are you sure you'll be fine with all of this ??  '' He handed Mary a plate from supper

 

 

 

''Oh corse Rick..what a nice polite gentleman you are for offering  though '' she grinned at him

 

 

 

''Isn't he just '' Negan added, smirking at him

 

 

''No I'm fine, you go with Negan, he'll need a hand '' she smiled and left the room with the plates in her hands

 

 

Negan smiled at him and walked toward the doorway

 

 

''Well... you coming or what ?? '' he smiled and disappeared around the corner of the door

 

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped, his heart skipping a beat  and he followed Negan

 

 

They walked side by side in silence towards the barn, Rick's heart beating fast, his stomach now jumping up and down in anticipation

 

 

they walked into the barn, Negan holding the door open for Rick, closing it behind him

 

 

It was quite dark, and  Rick could only make out the faint distinct shapes of the tractor and hay bails, that he had seen earlier 

 

 

The sound of a match being lit made Rick turn around to see Negan lighting an oil lamp, lighting up the barn in a soft dim light

 

 

He hung it up on a hook on one of the wooden posts and began stalking towards Rick, grinning

 

 

'' Now ..were where we '' he flicked his eyes down Rick's body, running his tongue along his top row of  teeth like Rick was his next dessert

 

 

Rick smiled as Negan stalked up to him, their faces inches apart

 

 

'' I think it was about  Here? '' Negan asked

 

 

Rick shook his head, smiling

 

 

Negan began kissing his neck

 

 

''Here '' he mumbled on his skin

 

 

''Nope '' Rick smiled

 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's shirt and pulled it out from his pants again, running his hands up to his chest, brushing his fingers over his nipples

 

 

 

''here ? '' he smirked against his neck

 

 

 

"  close''  Rick said, a bit more hoarse, his dick beginning to twitch

 

 

 

'' No ??  '' Negan questioned

 

 

 

He grabbed Rick's curls again, pulling his head back, exposing his neck, as Negan began to nip and bite along his throat, pinching one of his nipples

 

 

 

''yeh..that's about where we were'' Rick said, closing his eyes, his hands now on Negan's back

 

 

 

Negan laughed into his throat and pulled back, looking intently into his eyes

 

 

 

''Im sorry for what I said,im an asshole...forgive me ? '' He pouted

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

"sex won't fix all our problems Negan, you know that right ??  '' he said

 

 

''No, but it kinda helps a bit though dont it ??  '' He grinned

 

 

 

Rick smiled..he never could stay pissed at the man for too long 

 

 

''Come here "' Rick smirked

 

 

 

Negan grinned and crashed his lips to Rick's

 

 

It was a mess of  clashing teeth, rushed messy kisses and tounges, hands wondering under clothes to touch hot skin

 

 

They ended  up laying on the barn floor, in a pile of fresh hay, both had lost their shirts by now, dick's hard and straining in their pants

 

 

The hay was harsh on rick's back but his intense hard on took his mind off it scratching his skin

 

 

Negan's lips were all over Rick, trailing down his throat, he kissed down around his stitches and Rick flinched, but Negan kept going, leaving wet kisses  down his sternum and flicked his wet  tongue over one of his  nipples

 

 

 

Rick's back arched off the ground, as his eyes popped open

 

 

Negan took the hard nub in his mouth rolling it around his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, Rick felt pre cum in his pants and desperately wanted to touch  his dick

 

 

 

''Negan'' he mouthed, breathless

 

 

 

''Yeh baby '' he damn near growled, as he swapped sides and began sucking  Rick's left nipple

 

 

''please..I have to ..'' he moaned closing his eyes, as Negan's tongue swirled around his hard nipple

 

 

Negan didnt take his mouth away from his nipple as his hands trailed down the sides of Rick's body and somehow knowing exactly what he needed he began undoing Rick's belt, ripping his buttons open and shoving his hand down into his underwear, grabbing Rick's aching dick in his hand

 

 

Rick writhed underneath him,  his body  alight with pleasure

 

 

Negan ran a thumb over Rick's wet head and he almost screamed in pleasure as he assaulted his nipple with his tongue

 

 

''Please..I need you inside of me....im going  fucking insane'' Rick panted, pulling on his curls like a wild animal

 

 

Negan popped off his nipple, sitting up on his knees, undoing his belt and pants, Rick shuffling out of his pants and underwear, Negan almost tearing them off him and throwing them somewhere

 

 

His dick was hard and sitting up against this stomach, the shine of his pre cum, shone in the dim light and Rick wanted nothing more than to have it buried in his ass

 

 

 

'' Fuck  me, please...I'm so fucking horny '' he moaned like a whore, stroking his cock, licking his dry lips

 

 

 

''Jesu Fuck Rick'' Negan growled above him as he got between his legs, kicking them apart with one of his knees

 

 

 

Rick was a wild mess beneath him, stroking his dick fast

 

 

 

"'slow down baby, you're gonna cum before I even get to stick  my dick in your tight ass '' Negan mumbled above him

 

 

 

Rick slowed his strokes on his dick

 

 

He felt the blunt  head  of Negan's cock  rubbing up against his opening, spreading his pre cum around his hole and letting a  large  of  warm spit fall on it

 

 

Rick was desperate and pushed his ass up against Negan's dick

 

 

"just do it, please '' he moaned

 

 

 

" fucking me Rick, you keep fucking moaning like that, and ill fucking cum right here'' Negan inserted a slicked finger into Rick and he damn near flew back on the hay

 

 

 

The intrusion was exactly what he craved and he began pushing his body down on it as Negan pushed it in and out

 

 

 

Rick moaned out loudly, not caring what he sounded like 

 

 

 

"fuck Rick, you got me  so fucking hard baby, you sound so fucking beautiful with my fingers inside of you  '' Negan hissed above him

 

 

 

He added a second finger and it felt like a sudden rush of electricity had just been shot up through his  entire body

 

 

 

Negan pumped them in and out of Rick as he sucked a hickie into his neck, his  skin in between Negans teeth, sure to leave bruises

 

 

Rick grabbed his head with both hands and pulled him to his lips, kissing him like it was the last time they would ever do it

 

 

Negan pulled back and sat back up on his knees, taking his fingers out of Rick

 

 

he groaned at the loss 

 

 

Rick spread his legs as Negan lined up his dick, his handsome, rugged face flushed, his normally perfect black hair hanging in his  face..he was beautiful

 

 

He bit his lower lip with his teeth as he pushed into Rick slowly, drawing a groan out of the man

 

 

His dick slipped right in and he was fully seated in Rick, quickly

 

 

The rush of it had Rick stilling for a moment, as Negan hovered above him, looking down at his face

 

 

''You ok baby ? '' he furrowed  his brows at Rick's expression

 

 

Rick inhaled a deep breath, feeling incredibly full, and he nodded his head, smiling

 

 

Negan held himself  up on  his strong arms, as he looked down at his dick going in and out of Rick's opening slowly

 

 

'' Fuck Rick, you feel so fucking  good baby'' he hissed, feeling his dick being squeezed tightly  by Rick's muscles

 

 

'' So full '' Rick whined underneath him, throwing his head to one side

 

 

Negan began to pull out  and push back in faster, each thrust jolting through Rick's body 

 

 

Negan leaned on one elbow, hitching Rick's leg up over his back with the other, as he adjusted the position making his blunt head slam right into Rick's prostate

 

 

Rick immediately threw both his hands onto  Negan's back, grabbing  what skin he could get a hold of, as he yelled out 

 

 

The corse hay scratched  his skin, but he couldn't care less, Negan was pounding his  big cock right into him so fucking hard, it felt like he would split him in half in a minute

 

 

On a particularly hard thrust, Rick ran his nails down Negan's back, so hard the man flinched slightly, making  him  fall out of  the rhythm he had set

 

 

Rick wrapped his other leg around Negan's waist, while he was momentarily distracted and put his whole body into rolling them over, so their positions were switched

 

 

Negan lay on the ground and Rick was on top of him

 

 

Negan's  hard  dick slipped out in the swap, but Rick sat up on his knees, slowly easing  himself back down on it, eyes closed, mouth parted, feeling his incredible length re-enter him

 

 

Negan let out an animalistic groan underneath him as he  sank  down until he was fully seated 

 

 

He opened his eyes, looking  at the man beneath him, who looked just as flustered as he felt

 

 

he  put his palms flat on   Negan's chest and began to rock  back and forth on his dick

 

 

He lifted his ass  up slowly and slammed his body back down, pulling a hiss from the older man

 

 

'' Fuck yourself  on my cock Rick...you look so beautiful riding it '' Negan purred

 

 

Rick  bounced up and down on his dick, rolling his hips in a clockwise direction as Negan gripped his hips with both hands, hard

 

 

Negan  pushed his dick up into Rick when he knew he would be slamming his ass down and  the force hit Rick's  prostate with immense pressure, it had him yelling out, seeing white dots in front of his eyes

 

 

 

He grabbed his dick in his hand, stroking it

 

 

''You gonna come on my cock baby '' Negan purred, pure lust dripping off his tongue

 

 

"Yes..yes '' Rick yelled, his head thrown back rocking on his dick

 

 

 Negan gritted his teeth, and hooked a leg around Rick, flipping them on their sides

 

 

He grabbed both of Rick's shoulders with his hands and began to pound into his ass at a force that had Rick screaming out in ecstasy

 

 

Rick  grabbed his hard dick and stroked it fast

 

 

'' Im close Negan '' he moaned, as he thrust into  him 

 

 

The hay scratched at  his sides, and he swore they would never fucking fuck in a barn again unless they  had a  blanket

 

 

Negan abruptly  grabbed Rick's curls at his nape, pulling his head back so it lay  in the crook of Negan's neck, pulling his thoughts away from the  corse hay

 

 

" God you feel so fucking good " He whispered in Rick's ear, as he nipped at it

 

 

Rick's mouth was parted but all he could do was pant, he had lost the capacity to speak as Negan's blunt head hit his prostate   over and over and over again, never missing a beat

 

 

Rick felt that familiar feeling in his gut and he knew he was about to cum

 

 

''Im...Im coming '' he yelled as he stroked his dick, running a thumb over the wet head, groaning out in pleasure

 

 

Negan gripped his hips and slammed into him harder than before if it was even possible

 

 

''Come on Rick, come on my cock baby'' Negan said through gritted teeth, his fingers leaving bruises on Rick's hips

 

 

"im close to honey, your fucking ass is so fucking tight .....squeezing me so fucking  good '' He growled

 

 

Rick's  balls  tightened and he screamed out  as Negan smashed into his prostate one more time, sending warm cum shooting out of his head, over his hand, his body jolting from the force Negan was fucking him at

 

 

A cloud of white fell over his eyes,as his cum kept coming,he had never cum so hard in his life, as Negen continued to fuck into him relentlessly,his body on fire with pleasure

 

 

 

Rick reached up, grabbing  the back of Negan's head, pulling him closer, as he pounded his ass over and over

 

 

"Fuckkk Rick '' he yelled, and Rick felt  Negans body stiffen and a flow of warm fluid filled his ass

 

 

Negan's vice like grip  loosened on Rick's hips, and he felt his hot breath on the back of his neck, as he rode down his orgasm

 

 

Rick removed himself off of Negans dick, feeling incredibly empty and he lay on his back, his knees bent, looking up at the barn roof

 

 

Negan was still breathing heavily beside and he turned his head, smiling at him

 

 

''You ok there ?? '' he smirked

 

 

Negan smiled at him, propping himself up on one elbow

 

 

''Im fucking better than ever '' he leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on Rick's lips

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Rick has found a hatchet with a red handle..mmm what could that possibly mean and who he will use it on 🤐🤐

 

I'm super,super, proud of this chapter, hope you agree

Chapter 43

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick was leaning up against the harsh hay bails while struggling to put his foot through his pant leg

 

 

Negan had a cigarette in his mouth, sitting on the ground opposite Rick in just his underwear, giving him a strange look

 

 

" what ?? '' Rick glanced at him

 

 

''  Just curious about how you found  out about the  bank job ?? ''  he said, narrowing his eyes, inhaling his cigarette

 

 

 

" I'm a deputy.. it's my job to find out about shit like that '' he smirked

 

 

 

Negan's face was stern, as he exhaled a cloud of smoke into the air

 

 

Rick's furrowed his brows

 

 

'' I overheard you and Dwight talking before we left '' he shrugged, doing up his belt

 

 

'' Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to eves drop Grimes ?? '' he spat, his voice  low and husky

 

 

Rick  glared at him

 

 

'' I Wasn't eves dropping.....I was walking towards you when I overheard the words bank and in a few days,Dwight shut his mouth as soon as he saw me ..I'm not stupid Negan '' he added, looking for his shirt

 

 

 

 

Negan inhaled his cigarette

 

 

''  Just Figured you'd be fucking ripping me a new one about  it by now that's all  ?? '' he knitted his brows together

 

 

'' That last job we pulled, you were fucking up my  ass about  it  for  2 fucking days straight..you were like my  fucking wife, nagging the shit out of me'' he scoffed

 

 

'' What good will it do..you're going to pull that job whether I nag you or not ..I've learned that much  '' Rick shrugged,feeling his back with his hand

 

 

'' And there's no way I'm having sex in here ever again, I'm pretty damn sure that fucking hay has left scratch marks all up my back.....I bet I look like I've spent the night with a cheap  whore '' he laughed

 

 

'' and your weapons '' Negan mumbled around his cigarette

 

 

'' What ? '' he   screwed up his face, he glanced around for  his shirt

 

 

''  how'd you know I didnt have your weapons in camp ?? '' Negan took the cigarette out of his mouth and repeated the question, slightly angrier

 

 

Rick looked down at him

 

 

'' Someone in the camp said something and I put two and two together ...wasn't hard ''  he shrugged

 

 

Negan was silent 

 

 

'' Who was it ? '' he spat, glaring up at Rick

 

 

'' What ?? '' 

 

 

'' I said who the  fuck told you Rick  ?? '' he yelled, standing up at the speed of light

 

 

Rick looked at him wide eyed, slightly worried

 

 

''  does it matter ?? ..I know you lied to me ?? '' he shrugged

 

 

 

''I did it for your own good '' he mumbled 

 

 

''what ? '' Rick said

 

 

''I had to keep you safe..I knew all you wanted to do was leave camp and go after Shane..you were nowhere  near well enough to go anywhere and you wouldn't fucking listen to me '' he sounded angry

 

 

''I had to lie to you, it was the only way  I knew you'd stay put, the possible return of your weapons, cause that's all you fucking cared about Rick......You didn't fucking care about yourself or how fucking injured you were '' his voice cracked

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

''  So where are they  then ??  '' he  folded his arms across his chest

 

 

''I dunno, it was a fucking blur that night, all I thought about was getting you to Carol.. '' he  whispered, taking a sharp intake of breath

 

 

'' So Shane has them..my weapons ??  '' Rick spat

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

''well that's just fucking great isn't it Negan..you could have just told me  sooner '' he yelled

 

 

''  you would of fucking  ran off after him '' Negan gritted his teeth, glaring  at him

 

 

''damn  straight I would have, you know how important those weapons were to me ''

 

 

'' who fucking cares about your fucking weapons Rick '' he yelled, smashing his hand hard against the wooden  beam close to Rick

 

 

Rick looked at him wide eyed

 

 

''they are just fucking steel.....you......you matter,dont you get it ??  I didnt give a flying fuck about looking for your weapons, I couldn't   care less about your weapons,  that night was you..you were fucking dying right in front of my eyes Rick '' he yelled, stubbing his cigarette out on the  beam, angrily, the ember flicks flying off the wood,floating into the air

 

 

Rick took a step back and ran into the hay bail behind him

 

 

'' You dont think I think about that ??... every...single..fucking  night Rick ?? .... what if we didnt  just happen to go that way  that night  huh ?? what would have happened if we had gotten there 15minutes later..5 minutes later ..you'd be fucking dead ''

 

 

he was right in Rick's face, furious, and emotional, tears in his eyes

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat at how upset he was getting about that night and knew then that he wasn't the only one still dealing with it

 

 

 

''Hey ..Hey '' he took Negan's face in both of his hands, tilting it up to look into his eyes

 

 

 

''it's ok, I'm ok now..you saved me,.. I dont care about the weapons ok...you saved my life and I will forever be grateful for that '' he smiled, kissing Negan on the mouth

 

 

Negan pulled back, slightly angry, knitting his brows together

 

 

''there was so much blood Rick..I thought I lost you  ... I can't lose you...I can't go through that pain again ....I can't go through that like I did when  I lost ....'' he paused, looking Rick directly in the eyes, filled with tears

 

 

 

''who  ?? '' Rick furrowed his  brows

 

 

Negan was silent, looking at Rick like he was scared

 

 

'' what's wrong ??  what aren't you telling me ??  '' Rick soothed

 

 

'' Nothing.. it's nothing '' Negan pulled out of Rick's touch, stepping back

 

 

''.. it's just being back here, it's brought back  old memories'' he sniffed, angrily wiping his tears away from his eyes

 

 

'' of what Negan..tell me ..please '' Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

''I dont care about the weapons.....I mean it..I mean  I did, I was fucking pissed, but I know why you lied to me mow ..to keep me safe when I was too fucking stubborn to accept your help '' he smiled

 

 

'' Tell me what's wrong, you've been acting strange ever since we arrived here '' he said, concerned

 

 

Negan smiled up at him and pulled Rick towards his lips, kissing him gently, Rick was slightly shocked at his erratic mood

 

 

 

he pulled back

 

 

 

''it's nothing  '' he forced a weak smile

 

 

 

'' It's nothing honest..it's just that night..it still gets to me '' he sniffed, stepping back, looking at Rick

 

 

 

"Negan ....'' Rick began

 

 

 

''Come on...god knows what Mary thinks we've been doing out here for so long  '' he scoffed, looking around for his clothes

 

 

 

'' Negan ..please..its more than that night...it's .....'' Rick began

 

 

 

''Just fucking  drop it Rick ..ok...please '' he yelled, his back to Rick

 

 

Rick stood still, his jaw twitching

 

 

he watched Negan pull on his pants and shirt, doing  up the buttons

 

 

he turned and looked at Rick

 

 

''well come on....we have to get these horses into the stables yet '' he looked Rick up and down, walking out of the barn

 

 

"Negan '' Rick called after him, but he disappeared around the corner of the barn doors

 

 

Rick blinked dumbly, what the fuck just happened ??  Negan was acting like a fucking yo yo, one minute they were having amazing sex the next he was storming out of the barn, refusing to talk to Rick about something that was obviously bothering him

 

 

Rick got redressed and joined Negan outside

 

 

They wrangled the remaining horses in the paddock and put them in the stables, feeding them including Boots and Ragnar, and checked on the chicken house, making sure they were all accounted for and no foxes were able to get in

 

 

They walked back to the house, side by side, silent

 

 

 

they descended the porch steps, walking into the bright lights of the house

 

 

 

'' HOLE.E SHIT   '' Negan suddenly laughed, looking at Rick's neck

 

 

 

'' what '' Rick looked at him, surprised, suddenly fearing his stitches were ripped open  or something

 

 

''you've got one hell of a fucking Hickie there Grimes'' he grinned at Rick's neck

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

" you fucking  asshole '' he spat as he  wiped his neck, like that would get rid of the giant purple bruise  he pictured was there

 

 

Negan laughed

 

 

''what can I say..you drove me to it '' he shrugged, sticking his tongue through his teeth, looking smug

 

 

 

'' you prick '' he smirked, pulling his collar up, hoping to hide it from Mary

 

 

 

Negan opened the door, walking inside, it was deadly silent

 

 

 

''Mary'' he called out

 

 

silence

 

 

''Mary " he called again, walking into the sitting room

 

 

''Maybe she went to bed ?  " Rick suggested, looking in the sitting room

 

 

''Nah, she never goes to bed this early '' he glanced at the grandfather clock in the room, it was only 9 pm

 


''oh there you two are '' Mary's voice startled both men, as she stood at the top of the staircase

 

 

'' You sure were a long time, i was about to send out a search party for you both '' she furrowed her brows

 

 

''Yeh, those bloody horses gave us the run-around, right Grimes " Negan smiled at him

 

 

Rick blinked dumbly

 

 

''Oh yeh..yeh....No, they didnt want  to come into the stables tonight '' he smiled at her,weakly

 

 

Mary descended the stairs

 

 

''well, while you were gone I made up the spare room for myself...and I noticed the 2nd spare room wasn't occupied '' she stood at the bottom of the stairs looking at Negan, curiously

 

 

Negan looked at Rick, who looked at Negan, his heart literally coming to a stop

 

 

'' you men '' she smiled, shaking her head

 

 

'' you were just too lazy to make up the spare bedroom, weren't you ?? '' she  folded her arms across her chest, looking at them both like a mother chastising her children

 

 

Negan smiled

 

 

''you know me too well Mary '' he laughed

 

 

''Well I've made up the 2nd room for Rick now'' she looked at him

 

 

'' I mean, there's no need for you two boys to be sharing the one bed now is there ?? '' she patted Rick on the shoulder as she passed him

 

 

'' no I guess not '' he glared at Negan behind her back

 

 

Negan shrugged his shoulders, giving him a  sympathetic look

 

 

'' Well, I'm just finishing up in the kitchen, then im off to bed '' she  turned around, smiling at them both

 

 

''Do you need a hand  ??  '' Negan offered

 

 

'' No love, I'll handle it..it sounds like you've had enough trouble with those horses for one night...you  both  look like you've been rolling around in the hay half the night  '' she furrowed her brows, looking  them both up and down, her eyebrow raised

 

 

 

Rick practically chocked on his own spit and he began coughing,loudly

 

 

Both Mary and Negan looked at him,shocked

 

 

''Are you ok Rick ? '' Mary asked, concerned

 

 

Rick coughed, covering his mouth with his fist, waving his hand in the air, gasping for air

 

 

Negan walked up behind him, slapping him on the back

 

 

'' He must have gotten some dust in his lungs, those stables are pretty damn dirty..ay Grimes ??  '' he shook his head, grinned at him

 

 

Rick stood up straight, clearing his throat, glaring at him

 

 

" Yeh, pretty damn dusty " he smiled at Mary

 

 

She looked at him like he had two heads, smiling and disappearing down the hallway

 

 

 

'' how about a drink before bed ??  ''  Negan smield at him

 

 

 

'' Sure...'' Rick said softly

 

 

 

''  You go on outside, ill bring it out '' he smiled

 

 

Rick gave him a weak smile as he watched him enter the sitting room, to pour the drinks

 

 

his eyes flicked up to the woman in the painting and he furrowed his brows, feeling her eyes boring into him

 

 

He went outside and sat  on the porch  looking up at the night sky, the cool breeze in the air made the sweet smell of the flowers in the trees fill his nostrils

 

 

He knew that they would be returning back to the camp soon, and this place would be like a distant memory, he would have to g back to Black River too and return to being the sheriff

 

 


Negan pulled him for his thoughts when he shoved a glass in Rick's face

 

 

''Thanks '' he mumbled taking the glass from the man, as he sat in the chair beside him, knee bent, leg propped up on the opposite one

 

 

Rick watched him  take a sip of his drink, sighing loudly like that one sip was easing all his worries

 

 

Negan looked at him and smiled

 

 

''what you gawking at Grimes ??   " he grinned

 

 

''  separate bedrooms ??  '' he raised an eyebrow

 

 

''come on Rick, it's just for one night '' he put his head on teh back of the chair, closing his eyes

 

 

Rick couldn't really be pissed at him for not telling Mary about them, he hadn't told any of his family about  Negan for almost a year..not Hershel, Anette, the girls, Jerry

 

 

 he was sure  a few of the saviors had an inkling that they were together, Carol defiantly knew, and  it didnt help that Negan didnt seem to have a filter 

 

 

he sighed, looking at the beautiful polished wood on the porch 

 

 

Negan opened his eyes, propping his head up from the back of the chair

 

 

''Hey '' he whispered

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

''You ok with this ? '' he knitted his brows together

 

 

Rick wasn't, but he could deal with it for a night

 

 

'' yeh, it's fine..really  '' he smiled

 

 

 

'' What is it then ??   cause you've got that look on your face when something's on your mind...you look like a cats asshole " he smirked

 

 

Rick stared out at the paddock, drink in his hand

 

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment

 

 

'' I was an asshole about the handjob thing.. I mean there isn't a bloke in camp who hasn't had a handjob from Frankie '' he laughed

 

 

Rick sipped his drink

 

 

'' I shouldn't have mentioned Lori, I'm sorry '' he said softly

 

 

Rick jaw twitched

 

 

''You know I didn't mean it, baby...id never use her against you like that on purpose ''

 

 

''I know' ' Rick said, quickly

 

 

he knew Negan didnt mean it, but his mind was on leaving the camp and returning to Black River without him, he wanted to tell him, he wanted to be with him, but he couldn't find the words

 

 

 

'' Well, What is it Rick..? '' Negan sat forward in the chair

 

 

 

''Nothing '' he didnt look at him

 

 

 

'' Can you at least fucking look at me when you're lying through your fucking teeth  '' Negan huffed

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and looked at him

 

 

 

''What ??  '' he looked him up and down, confused

 

 

 

'' well you two, I'm going to bed  now  '' Mary's voice seemed, to come out of nowhere as she was now standing  beside them

 

 

 

they both sat up straight in their chairs looking at her

 

 

'' Negan I'd like you to ride back into town with me tomorrow dear, there are some things I need to discuss with you on the way '' she smiled at him

 

 

''yeh, sure thing  '' he smiled up at her

 

 

''you dont mind if I steal him for a few hours do you, Rick ?? '' she glanced at him

 

 

Rick looked at Negan and back at her

 

 

''No of corse not...we are  leaving tomorrow anyway, it will give me a chance to pack '' he smiled

 

 

Negan glared  at  him

 

 

Rick eyed him and smiled back at Mary

 

 

"well good, it's all settled then, I'll see you both in the morning and I'll cook us up a hearty breakfast before i leave  '' she smiled

 

 

''Good night '' she added

 

 

''goodnight '' Negan and Rick said in unison

 

 

she disappeared back into the house and Negan turned to Rick, his face twisting

 

 

'' Who the fuck said we were leaving tomorrow ??  '' he snapped

 

 

'' We were only here for a day or two you said.. dont you need to get back to camp ? '' Rick looked at him surprised

 

 

''I'm sure they can cope without me for a few more days '' he shrugged

 

 

Rick sat back in his chair sipping his drink

 

 

'' our deal was when I was ready to ride, I was leaving...I need to go back to Black River eventually Negan  ''

 

 

''Well, we can't keep you from Black fucking River now can we Sherrif Grimes " Negan spat, spitefully

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to him

 

 

'' Well it is my home Negan, I have a job to do remember ? ''

 

 

 

''How could I forget ?? you never fucking stop mentioning it or how much you want to leave and go back there '' he huffed

 

 

 

''That's not true, I've loved being here with you '' he spat, defensively

 

 

 

''You can't wait to get away from the fucking place, you're already thinking about packing " Negan yelled

 

 

" well I just assumed, we'd be leaving that's all '' Rick yelled

 

 

 

"Yeah well maybe I dont fucking want to '' Negan yelled standing up

 

 

" where are you going ?? '' Rick looked up at him, surprised

 

 

''I'm going to fucking bed, you'll find the spare room to the door on your left when you walk up the staircase '' he spat, swallowing the dark liquid in his glass in one mouthful angrily and  walking away

 

 

"Negan '' Rick began

 

 

''I'll see you in the morning Rick '' he growled and stormed inside the house, slamming the door

 

 

what the actual fuck ?? Rick seriously couldn't keep up with his mood swings tonight, he was acting insane

 

 

Rick also knew when Negan was in a mood, it was best to just leave him be and not go after him

 

 

he sighed finishing his drink and headed inside, walking up the staircase and looking down the hallway at the bedroom he shared with Negan, the door was closed

 

 

 

his heart sank slightly in his chest and he walked to the left  turning the brass knob of the door  closet to him when it seemed to open from the inside, making Rick fall inwards into the room

 

 

 

Mary stood there in her nightgown, looking just as shocked as Rick, that they almost ran right  smack bam  into each other

 

 

 

" Oh Rick..you sure know how to give an old lady a fright " she laughed, her hand clinging to the front of  her nightgown

 

 

''I'm sorry Mam, I thought this was my room'' he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly

 

 

''Next one down, dear...I've done the privilege of putting your belongings in there..I hope that's alright with you ?? '' she looked at him, curiously

 

 

''oh yeh, no that's fine, thank you '' He smiled, sheepishly

 

 

''Well, I  was just on my way to  brush my teeth  .....  '' she smiled, looking at him strangely

 

 

 

''Oh..yeh ...oh.... sorry '' he stepped out of her way, shaking his head, feeling stupid for standing there like an idiot

 

 

 

His mind was still on Negan and the way he was acting 

 

 

she smiled at him warmly and began walking toward the bathroom when she stopped

 

 

'' Negan has been through a lot, just be patient with him dear, He can get into moods but, he doesn't mean the things he says ..i can see he loves you '' she whispered 

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat and his mouth hung open, slightly

 

 

'' Ma.....Mam ??  '' he questioned

 

 

she turned he head slightly, smiling

 

 

''I may be old Rick, but I'm not blind  '' she smirked

 

 

with that, she walked down the hallway, into the  bathroom

 

 

'' Good night Rick '' she called , closing the door

 

 

 

Rick was left stunned on the landing..how did she know ?? where they that obvious..surely not ?? it didnt matter right now, he was extremely exhausted

 

 

 

he opened the next door to Mary's and entered a room similar to the bedroom he was in with Negan

 

 

It  certainly wasn't as grand, it didnt has a balcony overlooking the garden or a big bed, but he was happy he had a roof over his head all the same

 

 

he saw his bag sitting on the end of the bed and went and sat down next to it, looking around the large room, suddenly feeling very alone

 

 

He wanted to go and talk to Negan, find out what the hell was wrong with him this evening..but he knew it would only end in an argument and he was far too tired for that right now

 

 

He rummaged through his bag, his hand landing on his opium, he picked it up looking at the bottle ..he realized he hadn't had a headache for some time now, and his shoulder was fine too

 

 

he put it down and picked up the hatchet, gripping the red handle in his hand, his eyes flicking over the sharp blade..he would need to do some practice with it to get himself used to swinging a smaller blade, it was very different to his machete which had a longer blade,it would  mean closer contact  between himself and what he was swinging  at ..he would need to learn how to move as well as strike it correctly

 

 

He yawned and crawled up to the head of the bed, lying down  on the soft mattress..his thoughts soon drifted  to Negan, Black River, Hershel..even Jerry..his last thoughts before his eyes closed were of Lori and Carl, their faces  smiling down at him

 

Notes:

Wow Negan is hiding something that's really beating him up inside and Rick has to deal with his erratic behavior

Chapter 44

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Shane was in front of him, his sadistic grin  made Rick's chest tighten

 

 

he held up his knife, the knife that he cut Rick with, the knife that was always in his nightmares, running his tongue along the  silver blade

 

 

Rick was paralyzed like he always was in his dreams

 

 

Shane began to circle him

 

 

his heart was racing, about to explode in his chest

 

 

he stopped in front of him as always, jerking the blade up to his face

 

 

laughing so hard, his head fell back,  mouth open

 

 

suddenly a large black mass came out of Shane's mouth, it was wasps, flying and buzzing in Rick's face and eyes, stinging him, he couldn't move or get away from them, the pain was excruciating

 

 

 

he sat up in bed, yelling out, covered in sweat his head pounding, the pressure was so tight he grabbed at his head with both hands

 

 

 

he swung his legs over the bed, as  the flowered rug seemed to spin underneath his feet

 

 

he squinted his eyes as his hand rummaged through his bag which was still on the end of the bed, grabbing his bottle of opium

 

 

 

he closed his eyes as his head throbbed like a hammer was being smashed into it repeatedly

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath  and stood up, falling back on the bed as a wave of nausea hit him like a brick to the face..he felt that familiar taste of bile in the back of his throat

 

 

he jolted up off the bed, running to the bedroom door, a cold sweat sweeping over his body like a blanket

 

 

He almost Ripped the bedroom  door off its hinges in his haste,  the floor beneath him spun side to side, his vertigo making him run into a wall

 

 

But it wasn't a wall, it was  Negan, who was walking down the hallway

 

 

He raced to the bathroom, slamming its door shut behind him, just making it to the lavatory bowl in time as he emptied his guts, his body violently shaking

 

 

when he finally stopped vomiting, he pulled the hanging chain, flushing the mess down the bowl

 

 

there was a knock on the door

 

 

'' you ok Rick ?'' Negan's concerned voice was on the other side of the door

 

 

''yeh....fine... '' he lied, closing his eyes and hanging his head in the bowl

 

 

'' I have to leave soon.. it's getting late, we let you sleep in '' his voice trailed off

 

 

''yeh...yeh  ok, I'll be out in a minute '' he gritted his teeth, wishing he would just go away

 

 

It must be rather late in the day then..he wasn't aware he had slept in  ??

 

 

he got up off the floor, his legs shaking slightly, and staggered over to the sink

 

 

He rinsed his mouth out with water, trying and get rid of the vomit taste, splashing his face, and  caught sight of his reflection in the mirror

 

 

He looked like hammered shit...he hadn't had a bad nightmare like that for some weeks now, especially not one that  made him spew his guts up 

 

 

He tamed his curls and dried his face, inhaling a deep breath before he left the bathroom..he needed some opium badly, as a migraine was thudding in behind  his eyes

 

 

 

he heard voices downstairs and saw  Mary  at the bottom of the stairs, with a bag in her hands

 

 

 

"Rick dear '' she smiled when she saw him

 

 

 

he smiled at her weakly, feeling slightly wobbly

 

 

 

'' I was about ready to leave...Are you ok  ?? '' she furrowed her brows at him

 

 

 

he  glanced to his bedroom door, his opium was right there, just sitting on the bed, but he thought it rude to ignore her and go and get them, so he descended the stairs, slowly, hanging onto the railing, as his head felt like it was about to explode

 

 

 

''Are you ok ?  you look ..'' she trailed off

 

 

 

he stooped at the foot of the staircase

 

 

 

''yeah, I'm fine..I just get ..... " he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes

 

 

 

''Migraines, they are really bad sometimes..make me sick '' he looked at her with bloodshot eyes

 

 

"Rick...that '' she began

 

 

''Mary have you got ....'' Negan walked in from outside, stilling when he saw Rick, looking him up and down

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched at the sight of the man

 

 

''You ok ?? ''  Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

''another bad migraine, that's all '' he shrugged, glancing at Mary

 

 

'' Oh dear Rick that doesn't sound very good, I hope you have something to help you deal with them ??  '' she looked at him concerned

 

 

''yeh, yeh I do '' he said, coyly, glancing at Negan

 

 

a tense silence fell among the 3 of them, Mary glancing between the men

 

 

'' Anyway Rick..we must get going before it gets too dark...... I hope I see you again soon  '' she ducked her head to catch his eyes

 

 

''yeh..yeh, it was very  nice meeting you, I hope to see you again soon too  '' he smiled weakly, holding out his hand

 

 

Mary looked at it strangely and grabbed him in  a bear hug, startling Rick slightly

 

 

''You're a good lad Rick '' she whispered in his ear, pulling  back, looking him over, smiling

 

 

 she glared at Negan

 

 

''Here...let me ..help... '' he stepped towards the  bag in her hand, offering to carry it for her

 

 

''I can do it myself Negan, I'm not a complete cripple yet '' she snapped, seemingly pissed at the man

 

 

she gave Rick one last glance

 

 

''Take care of yourself Rick dear '' she smiled broadly at him and turned walking past Negan, giving him a scowl

 

 

Rick watched her leave out the door and his eyes flicked to Negan

 

 

his jaw was tense and he looked  uncomfortable

 

 

'' I'll be back at around 4, will you be ok here on your own until then  ?? '' he asked, softly

 

 

Rick just looked at him, silent, his jaw twitching..he was going to leave today, while he was gone

 

 

 

''sure '' he looked into the sitting room

 

 

Negan looked behind him outside and walked toward Rick

 

 

'' Please dont leave when I'm gone ok, Im sorry, I've been acting like an erratic asshole, I know that.. I want to talk when I get back, ok ??  '' he looked at him with such emotion in his eyes

 

 

Rick looked at him and simply nodded, still a bit pissed at the man for his behavior

 

 

''Negan, I'm not getting any younger out here '' Mary called from outside

 

 

Negan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and turned his back on Rick

 

 

Rick followed him outside, where Mary was sitting on top of  a wagon, pulled by one horse

 

 

Negan climbed up into the driver's seat, the reins in his hands

 

 

'' Have a safe trip '' Rick smiled

 

 

Mary turned around smiling

 

 

'' See you  Rick dear.....oh I almost forgot there's some breakfast I saved for you in the kitchen .....if you're up to eating that is  " she smiled

 

 

his eyes flicked to Negan, who sat  face front stiff-looking

 

 

'' Thank you '' he waved to her

 

 

''Well come on Negan, I haven't got all day '' she snapped

 

 

Negan flinched and pushed his hat down onto his head, flicking the reins as the horse began trotting  down the drive

 

 

Rick smirked, he figured Negan would be  punished enough riding for hours alone with the woman, who was clearly  pissed off at him 

 

 

 

He watched them ride off until they disappeared over the mountains and he sighed to himself, hands on his hips

 

 

He took the stairs two at a time, bursting into his room, grabbing the opium and going to the bathroom, washing them down his throat with some water from the tap

 

 

He wandered back to bed, laying down on its soft mattress, feeling the opium take control and he soon drifted off to sleep

 

 

 

He didnt know how long he was asleep for but when he woke, the light was fading outside

 

 

he dragged himself out of bed, descended the stairs, glancing at the grandfather clock in the sitting room

 

 

2 pm

 

 

he didnt realize he had slept that long

 

 

he wandered down the hallway and into the kitchen where a silver cloche hat sat 

 

 

he lifted it up to reveal, bacon, eggs, beans, and toast

 

 

Although it was now cold and the toast stale, he stood in the kitchen eating it with his hands, he was starving

 

 

he put his plate in the sink and wandered back down the hallway, stopping at the locked door, his mind ticking over like the ticking of the grandfather clock that filled the house

 

 

his eyes darted to the front door  thinking Negan could walk in at any moment and he placed his hand on the brass doorknob

 

 

he didnt know why, because Negan said it was locked, but he turned the handle and it opened

 

 

he stepped back into the hallway, slightly stunned that it wasn't locked after all..why would Negan say it was ??

 

 

Maybe it was when he was here last and the owners unlocked it.. but why ??

 

 

his curiosity got the better of him and he pushed the door open, to reveal a small bedroom, covered in sheets protecting it from the dust

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, what was so secretive about a bedroom ??

 

 

 

He walked in, looking around, lifting up the sheets to reveal beautiful dark mahogany wood, with  engraved carvings, much like the furniture in the bedrooms upstairs

 

 

There wasn't anything that would warrant the room being locked at one point and Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

He looked through the drawers of the dresser, and inside the cupboard  but couldn't find anything, there was nothing there

 

 

he was about to leave the room when his eyes fell on a picture frame, turned upside down on the bedside table

 

 

His jaw went stiff as his hand twitched beside his thigh

 

 

he walked towards it, his hand hovering over it

 

 

he picked it up, turning it over, seeing a picture of a woman, in the arms of Negan

 

 

He didnt look much older than he was now, but the woman Rick recognized immediately

 

 

it was the woman who was in the painting hanging in the sitting room

 

 

she was smiling  and her eyes looked very different than in the painting, she looked happy, they both did

 

 

in the corner of the picture, there was some writing

 

 

''To my dearest Negan, if I lose you in this life, I will find you in the next...love your dearest, Lucille ''

 

 

Lucille..that was her name

 

 

he felt a twinge in his heart as he put the picture gently back down where he had found it, stepping out of the room, and closing the door

 

 

He felt immense guilt for going in there and snooping around, as  he walked down the hallway, he stopped at the sitting room, glancing up at the painting

 

 

Lucille's eyes bored into him, her sad eyes held such torment and pain and it made Rick feel uncomfortable looking at her, where was she ??

 

 

he went back upstairs, pulling the hatchet from his bag and going outside, he noticed Negan had  taken Boots and Ragnar out of the stables and they were now frolicking around the paddock together

 

 

Rick leaned on the fence, watching them, smiling

 

 

After  a while, he  wandered over to the barn, opened the doors, and looked around

 

 

He began twisting and turning the hatchet in his hands, using his entire body to maneuver the weapon, seeing how his shoulder would feel with the movements

 

 

After a while, he was getting hot and  sweaty, he removed his shirt and  his shoulder  was niggled as he raised his hands above his head and he hissed in pain

 

 

If he wanted to use this hatchet  as his weapon, he needed to be as precise with it, he needed it to feel like it was a part of him, just as much as his machete was

 

 

he  found an old dart board, hung it up on the barn doors, and began doing some target practice with it

 

 

he was getting very accustomed to it and was getting his timing down well, hitting the mark each and every time

 

 

he raised his arm, aiming for the dartboard, and threw his back into it, throwing the hatchet at the board

 

 

suddenly Negan's head popped around the corner of the barn doors, almost getting hit with the hatchet

 

 

Rick was momentarily shocked, and stood up straight, his chest heaving, his teeth clenched

 

 

''Jesus Grimes... almost took my fucking head off '' He grinned

 

 

'' Guess I missed '' Rick spat

 

 

''wow..what's crawled up your ass and fucking died ?? '' he walked in looking Rick up and down

 

 

Rick glared at him, not wanting to bring up Lucille

 

 

one because he knew Negan would know he went in the room and two, he wanted Negan to tell him himself when he was ready

 

 

''Nothing '' he mumbled, turning around picking up his shirt, throwing his arms through it, his body still sweaty

 

 

Negan walked in further and looked behind him at the dartboard, seeing  deep chunks of corkboard were missing, with damn near accurate shots

 

 

''Looks like you've found yourself a new weapon '' he raised an eyebrow at the board

 

 

'' Pretty fucking accurate too...I swear you are fucking dangerous with any kind of  blade in your hand Grimes '' he turned,looking at Rick

 

 

Rick was about to mention, that he had to find a new weapon as Negan didnt know where the hell his were anymore, but he refrained

 

 

 

''What did you want to talk about  ?? '' Rick didnt look up at him, as he buttoned his shirt up

 

 

''Straight to the fucking point...... no ' how was your trip Negan' ??  '' he mocked

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

'' How was your trip ??  '' he said flatly

 

 

''Fucking awful if you must know ...Mary had a fucking stick up her ass the entire way there..fuck me'' he put his hands on his hips

 

 

Rick glared at him, losing patience

 

 

''But I know why she was pissed '' He glanced at Rick

 

 

''She ripped me a new one for acting like a fucking asshole last night...'' he looked at the ground

 

 

Rick was silent, not denying it.... he was an asshole

 

 

'' I haven't been  honest with you '' he stepped closer

 

 

Rick's heart began to beat faster

 

 

''I..I've been wanting  to tell you something since we got here, and I've been too much of a fucking pussy to say it'' He stepped closer, looking  at Rick

 

 

Rick felt his chest tighten

 

 

'' I asked Mary to lie to you while she was here, go along with my fucking charade ....''

 

 

Rick's mouth was dry..here we go ..Lucille will be revealed

 

 

''what is it ?? '' Rick questioned, waiting to hear her name

 

 

''She was fucking pissed she had to lie, I tell you that much, she took some convincing '' he stepped closer

 

 

''tell me... '' Rick's voice cracked

 

 

''This place '' he looked around the barn

 

 

''Yeh''

 

 

''This place, the house, the horses, stables, the land.. it's all mine, I own it.. there are no owners that have gone away for a few days..I'm the owner '' he glanced at Rick

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, he wasn't expecting that

 

 

 What ?? '' ..what about his wife ??  he thought

 

 

Negan sighed and sat down on a nearby hay bail, running a hand down his face

 

 


"I..I was married before  I met you '' he glanced at Rick

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched,there it was...... finally

 

 

 

Negan looked down at the piece of stray hay he had plucked off the bail, fiddling with it in his hands

 

 

 

''her name was Lucille, and she was the  fucking best god damn thing that had ever happened to me, the house... I told you I was working for the owners ??  '' he looked at Rick

 

 

 

He simply nodded

 

 

'' she was their daughter, their only child  '' he smiled

 

 

Rick listened on in interest 

 

 

'' She was simply amazing, She had some fucking sass about her that for sure, a smart mouth and  the most beautiful heart you could ever meet....a bit like you '' he smiled fondly, his eyes flicking over  to Rick

 

 

'' She didnt want a bar of me at first, said I was too damn cocky...guess I was '' he smiled

 

 

'' But she gave in eventually.. ...she couldn't fucking resist my charms '' he scoffed

 

 

'' My brother and I were still on good terms at this point ...but I knew he was hanging around this gang, this gang of outlaws.....they called themselves the Saviors..... I could never tell Lucille  about what he was doing, the people he was hurting, killing...he was my brother and I loved him, I felt the need to protect him'' he furrowed his brows 

 

 

'' he'd  show up at  the house every few weeks, looking for food or money, try to convince me to leave Lucille, her family, the house and come join his gang, he'd stay a few days, out in the barn, as her family wouldn't have him in the house ..his stories didnt go down  to well at the dinner table if you get my drift '' he glanced at Rick 

 

 


'' My Luci being the beautiful woman she was, put up with him for my sake, she even offered him a job at the farm..but he turned her down ''.

 

 

''Every time he'd stumble back to the farm, he'd be worse somehow, like broken..I dunno I can't explain it ..it was like he  got more and more disconnected from reality, he was more violent, more agitated, and the stories  he'd tell of what the saviors were doing....were just sick, even by my standards'' he shook his head

 

 

'' After the last visit, Luci and I told him not to return to the property .. I'll never forget that look in his eyes, it was like utter betrayal '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

'' After about 6 months of dating I asked Lucille  to Marry me, she accepted straight away, her family were over the moon, a simple farm hand like me, a nobody, with nothing to offer her, they loved me like a son..they had become my family..not Shane '' he glanced at Rick, knowing he  had  a similar situation with Lori and her family

 

 

''The wedding was here on the property, it was beautiful, Luci  and her mother did all the preparations, we had all our friends in attendance, Simon was my best man, the weather was perfect..it was and still is one of the happiest days of my life  '' he smiled fondly

 

 

''You knew Simon back then ? '' Rick interrupted, furrowing his brows

 

 

'' We've been friends since childhood,  we actually got  a job at the farm together, but he met some nice lass in Woodbury and moved out there with her, after about 1 month... but reckon it was only cause he couldn't handle the hard work of the farm '' he smiled

 

 

'' He and Shane always got along well, he never saw what Luci and I would see..he'd defend him  ''

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows...Simon was a fucking snake and him being chummy with Shane made a shiver run up his spine

 

 

'' Anyway, Shane turned up drunk to the wedding mouthing off, calling my new bride a  whore, saying I only married her for her money, I abandoned him, he even punched my father-in-law and another guest, that's when we came to blows, fucker broke my nose..I broke his jaw '' he shrugged

 

 

''He told me  my happiness would end and I'd come crawling back to him ''

 

 

'' It was only a few  months after the wedding when  Lucille became unwell '' he chocked on his words

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows 

 

 


''The doctors didnt know what was wrong with her, she  was in constant agony, but she couldn't say where it hurt, it was like her bones were on fire, she was constantly nauseous, she lost her will to live,  eat, talk.........she lost her sass, that fucking sass I fell in love with ..she even lost her beautiful hair in the end '' he smiled fondly

 

 

''  She couldn't even walk or get up the  stairs to our bedroom anymore ...so we set up a room for her   downstairs'' his eyes flicked up to Rick

 

 


''the  locked door......that was her room..'' he closed his eyes, sighing

 

 

Rick felt unimaginable guilt

 

 


'' I didnt know how to deal with it, I couldn't help her, I couldn't take the pain away, all I knew how to do was  go into town and drink myself fucking unconscious nearly every damn day'' he shook his head

 


'' I blamed myself..like you Rick, I blamed myself for something I couldn't control and it fucking ate me up '' he looked at Rick

 

 

'' That's when I turned to whores'' he ran a hand down his face

 


'' I fucking betrayed my dying wife for months. I thought with my fucking dick and not about her, I'd stay away from the house for weeks at a time, drunk off my fucking head, sticking my cock into anything I could pay for, I just couldn't stand to be in that house anymore, watching her  dying before my very eyes '' he looked at Rick

 

 

Rick's  felt a hard lump in the back of his throat

 

 

''I fucking hated myself, I fucking hated what was happening to my wife, my Lucille, I...I fucking abandoned her '' 

 

 

'' I could have been strong for her, she needed me and I wasn't there for  her, I was a fucking selfish son of a bitch cause I couldn't control what was happening to her''

 

 

'' One  day I stumbled back to the house, to find her dead '' he chocked on his words

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat

 

 

'' she was sitting propped up against the old well...........she had slit her wrists with a kitchen knife ''  he hung his head 

 

 

Rick  felt physically sick

 

 

''...her family was out in town at the time....it was me who found her...me '' he chocked on his words

 

 

'' We never knew why she went out there to do it, she never left a note or anything..nothing '' a tear ran down his face and dropped into his lap

 

 

Rick wanted to go over a hug him so bad

 

 

''my beautiful Lucille, she didnt deserve to die like that, alone, no one with her, I let her down, I wasn't there for her, she must have felt  like I didnt love her anymore'' he wiped a tear angrily away from his face

 

 


'' We had her funeral a week later, the doctor didnt tell me anything I didnt already know..she had died from self inflicted wounds '' he chocked

 


''After that, I couldn't stand to be in that house,I couldn't stand to be on the property, the land, the stables, the barn.. everything reminded me of her, her family didnt say it but I knew they blamed me for her death...the way they looked at me after that day, it was...I couldn't take it,so I fucking ran, I ran away like a fucking coward'' he said angrily

 

 

''I went back into town and drank myself  into a fucking coma every damn night, I'd  wake up in random beds with naked women or men with the worst hangover I ever thought was possible, covered in my own fucking vomit  '' he shook his head

 

 

'' Shane rolled into town one day hearing of Lucille's death and we got to talking.... maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the guilt that was fucking eating me up every fucking day, or maybe I was just lonely... but I agreed to come and join his gang ''

 

 

he paused, looking  at Rick

 

 

 

Rick was speechless as he looked at Negan 

 


'' Simon had broken it off with the lass he was seeing and joined us..he didn't have to be asked twice, it was like he was almost excited to be an outlaw..but he always had a wild side.. guess I did too...We were out of control for a long time, for years, all we did was steal, murder, and take what wasn't ours, we picked up some other outcasts along the way..Daryl and Merle were the firsts, found Carol and Sophia later on, Dwight, Sherry, and Frankie were all kinda  just there one day and never left''

 

 

 

''Over the years we  became more than a gang, we became a  family  and I moved on from  all the guilt I was dragging around  and finally became happy again, I had a family again, I accepted Luci's death, I was at peace with it ''

 

 

'' Shane got worse if that was possible, and I saw first hand the shit he was doing, he was killing people for fun, and when he began targeting   women and children not just men......'' he gritted his teeth, shaking his head

 

 


''some of the men who had been saviors long before I came along, didnt want to follow his lead anymore and turned to me for advice, what would I do ?? he was getting out of control and when he thought raping was all a part of the game, I had to put an end to it, he'd leave the camp for weeks on end with a few others..we wouldn't hear from them until they came back and he'd sit around the fire speaking about the sick fucking things they'd done, like he was fucking proud of it, proud of his disgusting fucking behavior..talking shit in front of the women and kids'' he shook his head, angrily

 

 

'' We were at each other throats daily, even threw punches..he was losing it, the saviors didnt trust him anymore...and when he attacked Sophia, killing her father ed..that was it, he took off with some horses, weapons and some men...those who chose to think as he did ''

 

 

'' left me the leader of the saviors...every so often I would go back to the house..it was hard at first, but each year got a little easier, the family welcomed me back of corse with open arms,  I think they were also moving on, healing from such a tragedy, they would never forget Lucille, of corse and neither would I, but I can't keep blaming myself, I loved her and those few  years we had together will always be in here '' he patted his chest

 

 

He finally paused, wiping a tear from his eyes, looking at his lap

 

 

Rick felt sick...he didnt know Negan had been through so much trauma himself, here he was thinking he'd been given the fucking short end of the stick in life

 

 

he walked over to Negan and sat down next to him, taking his hand in his, looking at him intently

 

 

"I..I dont know what to say..why didn't you tell me any of this sooner...?? '' he whispered, squeezing Negan's hand

 

 

Negan sniffed

 

 

''The doctors prescribed her something, weeks before her death, was supposed to be for the pain, but it just made her  more out of it, high, she would ramble nonsense,or just lay there like a fucking dead animal..it was fucking hard to watch '' He glanced at Rick

 

 

"the doctor gave her opium Rick'' he furrowed his brows at him

 

 

'' she took her own life because she was jacked up on them..she slit her own wrists..'' his voice cracked

 

 

he looked down at Rick's hand, turning it over to reveal his fresh stitches

 

 

 

''do you understand now what it does to me when I know you're jacked up on opium and you start cutting yourself.'' his eyes were wide with fear

 

 

''I thought I left those memories in the past, dark memories, I had made peace with them,  ..and then I met you '' he shook his head, letting go of Rick's arm

 

 

''I knew I shouldn't get involved with another person who used opium....but I didnt know you cut yourself at that stage..I knew you were a soldier, you had bad injuries, you had bad nightmares, Lori and Carl's deaths .,..I didnt like it but I didnt know what you were going through either..who was I to judge..you were in pain, I could see that..''

 

 

'' The first time I saw you with stitches I knew .. I fucking knew..it fucking ripped my heart out Rick..like it was Lucille all over again '' he shook his head

 

 

''but I was drawn to you, I was already involved, I didnt want to break it off with you, you were the best thing that had happened to me since my Lucille'' he looked at Rick

 

 

'' Do you understand now why I get so fucking pissy about you using opium ?? '' he furrowed his brows at Rick

 

 

"I have never once thought about killing myself  Negan, you have to believe me..they dont send me to that place '' Rick  whispered

 

 

''You cut yourself, Rick, it's exactly the same '' he raised his voice

 

 

'' I may cut myself, but I don't know why I do it.. it's hard to explain ..I never take it too far..''

 

 

''you cut yourself open bad enough to require stitches, Rick ..it's fucking exactly the same, you can't fucking say it isn't '' Negan yelled, standing up abruptly

 

 

'' I started cutting myself because I blamed myself for my family's death.....I wanted nothing more than to join them..nothing mattered to me after their deaths, but now...... now it's more like.... I want to feel pain, it makes me know I'm still alive, do you understand ?? '' he looked at Negan

 

 

''... the pain makes me know I'm still here, fighting for them, my fucking hearts still beating '' he yelled

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

'' I still blame myself for their deaths, I should have saved them that night..I was weak '' He looked at his lap

 

 

''No Rick... '' Negan began

 

 

'' if you keep dwelling on the past, it's gonna eat you up baby '' he furrowed his brows

 

 


'' I stopped blaming myself for Lucille's death, it took a long time..but fuck..I knew she wouldn't want me to live the rest of  my life feeling sorry for myself ''

 

 

Rick looked at his lap, his jaw clenched

 

 

they fell into a comfortable silence, each taking in what the other had been through

 

 

 

''I'm sorry...she... Lucille sounded like a wonderful woman '' he held Negan's hand

 

 

''She was, she really was '' he smiled

 

 

'' So the farm..its.. it's yours ? '' Rick asked

 

 

Negan nodded

 

 

'' Her family left it to me in their will, they both died not long ago, about 2 years now..Mary, she stayed on to look after it while I was...well while I was running the saviors.. she's the one who's kept it together all these years, kept it running..the animals..everything ''

 

 

'' She moved to Woodbury to be with her daughter about 6 months ago,I knew she was getting on in years,the house,the animals,the land... she couldn't keep up with the maintenance anymore, I dont blame her '' he shrugged

 

 

''it's a fucking lot of responsibility '' he sighed

 

 

''I wish you told me this sooner, no wonder you've been erratic since we arrived  '' Rick whispered

 

 

''The longer I stay away the harder it gets to come back '' Negan sighed

 

 

''then why did you bring me here, if it hurts you so much ''

 

 

''cause it's still a very special place, it's a place I made the most wonderful memories in, it's my home, my real home, I just forgot about that being a savior sometimes,I didnt come back as much as I should have ''

 

 

he looked at Rick, flicking his eyes over his face

 

 

''  I wanted to bring you here cause I wanted to show you I'm more  than just, an outlaw '' his eyes filled with hurt

 

 

''I know you are, you dont need to prove anything to me Negan, I've never seen you as just an outlaw..never '' he took Negan's face in both his hands, placing a soft kiss on his lips

 

 

 

Negan grabbed the back of his neck, deepening the kiss

 

 

 

''I'm so glad you're here with me '' he whispered to his lips

 

 

''Me too '' Rick smiled

 

 

''Come on let's get out of here, I'm starving'' he smiled

 

 

'' Well...it  sounds like I'll  have to cook my sheriff some food  then'' he grinned

 

 

Rick smiled, kissing him once more, feeling like  a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, now Negan had finally opened up to him

 

 

they left the barn, walking hand in hand back to the house

 

 

Thye walked past the sitting room and Rick stopped, Negan turning around, furrowing his brows at him

 

 

"what's wrong ? ''

 

 

Rick looked at him and up to the painting

 

 

''Is that Lucille ?? '' he glanced at Negan

 

 

Nega walked up to him, looking at the painting

 

 

''yes, that's my Lucille '' he looked at the painting with such love in his eyes

 

 

''this painting wasn't in this room the last time I was here, her parents must have moved it..''

 

 

'' her eyes..'' Rick began

 

 

''she looks so sad '' he glanced at Negan

 

 

'' she had this portrait painted a few weeks into her sickness, it was  a marriage present from her parents if I can remember...she didnt want to have it done, she said she looked terrible'' he laughed

 

 

''I told her she looked absolutely beautiful... and she was...right up until the end '' he smiled fondly at the painting

 

 

Rick looked at it, her eyes boring through him

 

 

''Hey '' Negan  tilted his head

 

 

''whats wrong ?? ''

 

 

''nothing'' Rick said quickly

 

 

''does it bother you...that it's hanging in the house ?? '' he tilted his head

 

 

Rick was silent, looking up at  the painting, it did  bother him....but it was Negan's late wife, in Negan's house..he had no right saying anything

 

 

''Hey '' Negan furrowed his brows, touching Rick on the shoulder

 

 

Rick flinched at his touch, looking at him quickly

 

 

''No...no it doesn't bother me '' he smiled weakly, lying through his teeth

 

 

'' Now come on. didnt you promise me something eat,I'm starving '' he smiled weakly, taking Negan's hand and leading him towards the kitchen

 

Notes:

Finally !! Negan tells Rick the truth about his first love , Lucille

Chapter 45

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

This dream was different from the others, he was standing on a deserted town street, he didnt know his location, but it certainly  wasn't Black River

 

 

The only shop that he saw was a bank, It was deadly quiet  and  a sudden abrupt  breeze flew dust up  into his eyes, making him shield his face with his hand

 

 

suddenly he heard gunfire inside the bank and the doors  flew open

 

 

several men wearing red bandanas came running out, holding large white bags of money, firing their weapons 

 

 

he  instantly knew they were saviors, due to the distinct color of the fabric they wore, covering their faces

 

 

Rick grabbed at his thigh, his heart racing with adrenaline, but his holster wasn't there

 

 

The men got onto their horses, pulling on their reins, making them rise up on their back legs, neighing loudly

 

 

 

he could hear the gunshots, smell the gun powder, feel  the dust flying up to his nose...it was like he was really there

 

 

 

Another two men burst through  the  doors, firing  their weapons back into the bank

 

 

 

It was Negan, Rick recognized his tall stature and his long black coat, that seemed to twist with his body movements as if  it was literally attached to him, the man next to him looked like Simon

 

 

''Negan '' Rick called out

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing ?? '' he yelled, knowing such a  question was idiotic

 

 

they were robbing a bank of corse

 

 

Simon looked directly at Rick, and he froze, thinking the man had actually heard him

 

 

his evil eyes narrowed  between his hat and the top of his bandana, eyes scanning in Rick's direction

 

 

Rick's felt bile in his throat as he stood still

 

 

'' Get the fuck out of here '' Negan roared suddenly, not turning around, seemingly directing his words at his men  as they began riding off down the street, hands filled with bags of money

 

 

Negan fired into the bank and A shrill scream inside  followed, it was  just Negan and Simon now

 

 

Simon looked  down the street at the men on horses, who had now all but disappeared

 

 

He turned back to Negan and raised his gun towards him

 

 

" Negan behind you " Rick  yelled out, but he didnt so much as flinch

 

 

 Rick widened his eyes, his heart skipping a beat 

 

 

''  Hey, Negan '' Simon yelled

 

 

Negan turned around in what seemed like slow motion, as  his coat swept around him  like a blanket 

 

 

a loud gunshot made Rick flinch, and everything suddenly went deathly silent

 

 

Simon tilted his head back laughing, much like Shane had done in his last nightmare

 

 

Negan stood completely still  and looked down at his chest, bringing his hand up slowly to touch it

 

 

Rick's heart was about to explode in his chest

 

 

 

"Negan '' he called out

 

 

the taller man, took his hand away, revealing a dark red color and he looked at Simon with such betrayal in his eyes

 

 

Simon leered at him, shooting him several more times, smoke flying off his weapon

 

 

Rick screamed out and began running towards him

 

 

Negan fell to the ground  in slow motion, hitting the wooden slates of the bank's porch with a thud, the dust flying up around him like a cloud

 

 

"' NEGAN '' Rick screamed, as he jumped up on the raised porch, falling to his knees by his side

 

 

Simon, got on his horse, ripping his red bandana from his face, revealing an evil  smirk

 

 

''The saviors are no longer yours'' he snarled, tossing  the bandana down at Negan

 

 

it seemed to float and twist in the air unnaturally like it was being manipulated by an invisible force, and landed on his bloody chest, perfectly flat

 

 

Simon, jumped into his saddle, pulling on the  reins, making his horse raise up on his back legs, snorting loudly

 

 

he rode off down the abandoned street, dust flying up making him seem to disappear from Rick's vision like he had become invisible, much like the saviors did earlier

 

 

Rick looked down at Negan, tears in his eyes as Negan looked  up at him

 

 

he raised his hand, touching Rick's face, tenderly

 

 

''Grimes'' he smiled weakly

 

 

''You tried to warn me.... and I didnt listen to you '' he coughed, spitting  up dark red blood onto his lips

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows..what was he talking about ? he hadn't warned him about anything

 

 

he threw himself  down onto Negan's bloody chest

 

 

'' Please dont leave me '' he began sobbing as Negan  stroked his nape

 

 

'' I'll always be here baby, even if you can't see me...I love you Rick '' he coughed again,  his body jerking 

 

 

"I love you too Negan '' he sniffed

 

 

Negan was silent and Rick sat up, blood smeared on the side of his face

 

 

Negan was dead, his eyes still open, mouth parted slightly

 

 

''No..no..wake up, you're ok '' Rick yelled, trying to stop the horrendous  amount of blood that was seeping from the mans chest, with his bandana

 

 

''Negan..'' he yelled, shaking the man roughly

 

 

''Negan..no ..Negan I need you,dont leave me '' he yelled

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed open in fright, jumping slightly, and  he found himself being held by someone, his heart skipping  a beat

 

 

''Another nightmare ?? ..they are getting more and more frequent lately'' Negan's  hoarse voice whispered in Rick's ear

 

 

he closed his eyes when he remembered he and the older man  had fallen asleep on the bed, talking  after supper

 

 

'' It....it  was nothing '' he lied, tightening his arms around Negan's, thankful it was just a dream  and he was alright and very much alive

 

 

''You know I know that's fucking bullshit Grimes, so why lie to me baby ??  his voice  husky, still waking from a deep sleep

 

 

'' It was  just  about Shane'' he shrugged, lying through his teeth

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment

 

 

'' Now ...any other guy would get a bit fucking suspicious that his man is dreaming about his brother...but I kinda get it '' he scoffed

 

 

 

''Your man " Rick scoffed

 

 

'' damn straight '' Negan hugged him harder

 

 

Rick was silent, his  mind ticking over  about  his latest dream, what could it mean ???? it was so damn real

 

 

'' whats going on in that beautiful head of yours '' Negan 's voice pulled him from his thoughts  

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and turned in his arms, facing him

 

 

 

''I don't this bank job  is a good idea ''

 

 

 

''what?? we've robbed hundreds of banks before, we can do it with our hands tied behind our backs  '' he furrowed his brows taking his arms from around Rick

 

 

Rick's jaw stiffened and he looked to the bed sheets

 

 

''what is it... ? ''

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to his

 

 

''I just have a bad feeling about this one''

 

 

Negan sat up too

 

 

'' You say that every time you find out we've robbed a joint  '' he scoffed

 

 

Rick looked toward the door

 

 

'' well,what if I asked you to skip this one '' he glanced at Negan

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows 

 

 

''I'd say no fucking way..this job is the biggest bank we've pulled, it will feed the saviors for months, not weeks '' he huffed

 

 

Rick averted his eyes

 

 

'' that nightmare wasn't about Shane at all,  was it  ?? '' Negan said, concerned 

 

 

''......I saw you... you were killed robbing a bank ...Simon ..he killed you, I saw it like it was happening in real-time, I was standing right there, you fucking died in my arms '' he chocked on his words, looking at the bed

 

 

"hey ..hey '' Negan tilted his chin up with his finger

 

 

''it was just a stupid dream honey, ain't nothing going happen to me...and Simon ''he scoffed

 

 

'' he's one of my most loyal  men, we've been friends since childhood, terrorizing the town together '' he laughed

 

 

'' He wouldn't dare fucking try and double-cross me, let alone kill me  '' he smiled

 

 

Rick looked at him

 

 

'' And if he did, I'd rip his fucking throat out with my bare teeth '' he growled

 

 

Rick's palms were sweaty

 

 

'' Please Negan ..don't do this one, please, I have a really bad feeling about it '' he looked at him, upset

 

 

" Rick, it's ok '' Negan grabbed him in his arms

 

 

''It's ok honey, nothing is going to happen to me, it was just a dream '' he soothed

 

 

''It wasn't ..it was so real '' Rick said, feeling sick

 

 

''it's okay '' Negan whispered in his ear

 

 

''I dont want  to lose you '' Rick said, panicked

 

 

Negan pulled back from him, taking his face in his hands, ducking his head to catch his wide eyes

 

 

''I promise you... on my life, I will never leave you  '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

'' your life '' Rick scoffed

 

 

' 'I saw him kill you '' he yelled, pulling away from his hands

 

 

''for fucks sake Rick why are you acting insane, it was just a dream, people have dreams all the fucking time,dont mean they come true ''

 

 

''it was more than a fucking dream, why  won't listen to me '' he yelled

 

 

Negan sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose

 

 

''look it's late..can we discuss this tomorrow perhaps yeh ? '' he smiled weakly at Rick

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched and he got off the bed

 

 

" where are you going ? ''  Negan sighed

 

 

'' I'm going to the bathroom, is that ok with you ??  '' he snapped

 

 

'' Rick'' he said defensively

 

 

 

'' Oh come on baby '' he scoffed

 

 

Rick didnt say another word, leaving the bedroom

 

 

he walked across the hallway, pissed that Negan wasn't taking him seriously

 

 

he stood staring at the tiled wall in a daze as he did a piss, his jaw twitching 

 

 

there was no way he'd believe anyone if they told him they had a dream like that, about his death, he would just brush it off as Negan did, Maybe he was being slightly over dramatic ??

 

 

he sighed, pulled the metal chain, and ran his hands underneath the water

 

 

he walked across the hall to their bedroom and heard Negan softly snoring..the man always did have a nack of  falling  asleep at the drop of a hat and it gave Rick the shits, only  because it  took him a good hour and several positions to finally be snoring sounding like Negan currently was

 

 

he glanced down the hallway, he knew he wouldn't get to sleep easily now, not with that dream on his mind

 

 

He walked down the stairs and h poured himself some of Mary's whiskey, glancing up at Lucille, he raised his glass to her painting

 

 

'' cheers '' he smiled up at her weakly, feeling like he was going insane for  talking to a painting of a dead woman

 

 

He picked up the whole glass bottle of whiskey  and took it outside, sitting on the chair, sipping his drink, looking up at the night sky

 

 

his latest dream began to spin around his head like a  dust devil, as he tried to think what it all

 

 

After about 2 glasses of Mary's whiskey, he had almost forgotten about his dream and came to the realization it meant nothing

 

 

A sudden  cool breeze blew through his body like a ghost had just ripped through him and he sat up straight, slightly tense 

 

 

he sighed standing up, losing his balance somewhat, and walked back into the sitting room, where he returned the bottle of whiskey

 

 

he smiled to himself, feeling somewhat frisky as he stumbled up the stairs

 

 

he wasn't drunk, but he sure was tipsy

 

 

he almost crashed into the bedroom door as he opened it,  Negan was still asleep, lying  on his side in just his underwear

 

 

Rick crawled up the bed on his hands and knees, getting in  close behind  Negan, nuzzling his nose into the back of his neck

 

 

Negan made a soft noise

 

 

Rick put his free hand up on his hips, hooking his fingers in under the seam of his underwear as Negan stirred

 

 

He began laying soft kisses on the back of his neck, as he dipped his hand in and under the man's underwear

 

 

Negan made a soft noise, moving slightly as Rick smirked into his neck

 

 

he ran one finger down his shaft and back up again, teasing it, and  began to stroke him 

 

 

a soft exhale of  breath came out of Negan's mouth and he began to move, turning onto his back, with a small smile on his face

 

 

Rick propped himself  up on the arm that he was lying on and pulled Negan's underwear down with his free hand

 

 

Negan didnt open his eyes but  lifted his bum up, so Rick could take them off 

 

 

he got up on his hands and knees, hovering over the man, his eyes trailing down his naked body 

 

 

'' Here I was thinking you were still pissed at me '' Negan smirked, opening his eyes

 

 

Rick kissed him tenderly, pulling  back ever so slightly, so their lips were just touching

 

 

" Guess you've been into Mary's whiskey '' he smiled, smelling the liquor on Rick's breath

 

 

He began pulling Rick's underwear down and he kicked them off  somewhere

 

 

Negan flipped them so Rick was underneath him and he  smirked, pulling the older man   down for a kiss, sticking his tongue in his mouth

 

 

Negan ground down his crotch into Rick's and his mouth left Negan's slightly to let out a small moan

 

 

He repeated the movement that had Rick's dick immediately reacting

 

 

Negan leaned on one arm and  reached down taking both their dicks in his  hand and began stroking them, running their pre cum over their slits, making both men  groan 

 

 

he began attacking Rick's neck with kisses and small nips  as he stroked their dicks together, slowly dragging his fingers up and down their shafts

 

 

Rick's body was alight with whiskey and  arousal and he wanted to be fucked

 

 

''Negan '' he whispered, breathlessly

 

 

'' hmmm '' he mumbled against his neck

 

 

''i....fuck me, please...I want you  so bad '' he whispered as Negan flicked his wrist

 

 

He made a kind of rumbling noise in the back of his throat and suddenly sank his teeth into Rick's neck

 

 

Rick yelled out in shock and pleasure

 

 

Negan sucked on his neck like a fucking vampire that Rick had read about in books, the pain mixed with the pleasure of his rough calloused hand running up and down their dicks  had Rick writhing in ecstasy, feeling he may come right then

 

 

Negan popped off Rick's neck and let go of their dicks

 

 

'' Well, Since you asked so fucking politely '' he purred, turning Rick on his side

 

 

he felt Negan's hard dick up against his back, as he lay close to  his body

 

 

 his fingertips danced  over Rick's shoulder, making his body fill with goosebumps as they traveled down his side and over his ass 

 

 

A  'POP'  noise came from behind him   and knew Negan was lubing up his fingers

 

 

He felt him part his ass cheeks slightly as he ran a slicked finger around his entrance

 

 

Rick closed his eyes as Negan inserted a wet finger into him, sliding in with ease

 

 

he began sliding it in and out slowly as he placed kisses on the shell of Rick's ear

 

 

he ground his erection up against Rick's back as he thrust his finger in and out faster

 

 

Rick made low noises in his throat as Negan added another slicked finger, biting  down gently on the shell of his ear

 

 

'' feel  good baby ?? '' he whispered as he slide two fingers in and out of Rick

 

 

Rick's mouth was parted slightly, as he attempted to speak

 

 

the tips of Negan's fingers brushed against his prostate

 

 

'' you like this huh ?? ''  he purred

 

 

'' Or  when I do this '' he damn near growled, as he curled his fingers in Rick's body

 

 

" Jesus Fuck '' His eyes flew open, as he lurched back into the man behind him

 

 

Negan laughed deep from within his chest, that  Rick could feel the vibrations  through  his back

 

 

''I guess so '' he added a third finger and Rick thought he'd physically snap in half

 

 

he made an attempt to scream but his breath was literally taken away by the intense power that seemed to strike his body like lightning

 

 

Negan adjusted his position and seemed to warp his body around Rick, like they were molding into one person as he laid kisses down his shoulder, pushing his fingers in and out, thrusting his erection against his back

 

 

he curled his fingers again brushing against that sensitive bundle of nerves, sending Rick's head flying back on the pillow, screaming out

 

 

''Fuck me Negan '' he yelled

 

 

Negan stilled for a moment and smirked against his shoulder, taking his fingers out  abruptly

 

 

 Rick grabbed  his dick that had been neglected this whole time

 

 

''Nope '' Negan slapped his hand away

 

 

''Hold your ass open for me first  honey '' he growled, deep and low

 

 

Rick grabbed one of his ass cheeks holding it open so Negan could get inside easier, desperately wanting to touch his leaking cock

 

 

He felt the   blunt head of  Negan's  cock circle his entrance and he pushed back into it, desperate with want

 

 

"Easy Rick '' Negan said somewhat sternly

 

 

''Always so fucking needy '' he scoffed

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and turned his head, about to snap back a reply, but Negan pushed his dick in, literally taking  Rick's breath away

 

 

He grabbed the back of Negan's hair, gripping it in his hand

 

 

He felt so full, it was  addictive  and he wanted  more, he could never get enough of that feeling

 

 

Negan gripped Rick's hip like a vice as he gritted his teeth, pushing further in, slowly, until his hips were touching Rick's ass cheeks

 

 

''You are the most beautiful thing in this world to me '' he whispered as Rick adjusted

 

 

'' if I dont have you in it '' he added as he slowly pulled out, just leaving the tip of his head inside Rick

 

 

''I dont want to be here either '' he purred in his ear, as he pushed back in, erupting a moan from Rick

 

 

he rolled them both, so Rick was lying on his stomach, his dick never leaving Rick, his tender touch never leaving his skin 

 

 

he propped himself up on his strong arms as he began to thrust into Rick

 

 

Rick hung his head between his shoulders  and propped himself up on his elbows, raising his ass higher in the air

 

 

Negan grabbed both his hips adjusting his position, leaning on the bed with one knee, the other propped up

 

 

the angle made his dick hit Rick deep and hard, making him cry out in pure animalistic want

 

 

each thrust hit his prostate and  he began to push back meeting Negan, as he  slammed repeatedly  into his ass

 

 

'' holy fuck Rick '' Negan yelled from behind him

 

 

the sensation rushing through Rick's body had him seeing stars and he closed his eyes, as he rocked back into Negan

 

 

Rick grabbed his hard dick between his legs and began stroking it

 

 

the bed was making a squeaking noise as Negan was fucking Rick like a wild animal with no control

 

 

Negan stopped abruptly and Rick's eyes flew open

 

 

he wrapped one arm around his chest and hooked one leg around Rick, making them fall to their sides on the bed once more, except Negan seemed to be entangled in Rick

 

 

Rick went to move back into Negan, but he thrust into him, making electricity flow through his veins

 

 

Negan grabbed his forehead and pulled it back so it lay in the crook of his neck, his free leg was hooked over Rick

 

 

it felt like he was being constricted .....  but also very safe and wanted

 

 

Negan's hot breath was on the shell of his ear as he pulled Rick's head back further, biting down into his throat

 

 

Rick could feel his canine teeth drawing blood and he yelled out

 

 

Negan thrust faster as Rick's head spun from the intense  feelings igniting his entire  body

 

 

he grabbed his dick once more, stroking it as Negan proceeded to fuck his ass like a raging bull 

 

 

He gritted his teeth as he felt that familiar burn in his gut, running his thumb over the slit of his dick

 

 

moaning like a fucking cheap whore and getting rammed from behind, Rick had everything he ever wantedinlife, in this very second

 

 

''Im close baby '' Negan huffed in his ear, breathless

 

 

''you are  fucking amazing '' he gritted his teeth, grabbing Rick's hip and kissing just behind his shoulder blade

 

 

Rick mumbled something he couldn't  even comprehend himself as he stroked his dick faster, in time with Negan's thrusts

 

 

Rick was on the edge as he ran his thumb over his slit again

 

 

''im coming Negan..fuck me harder '' he screamed, throwing his head back into his neck

 

 

Negan gripped his hip harder and pounded into him as Rick flicked his wrist feeling the fire in his guts explode, as cum spilled out  all over his hand 

 

 

''FUCKKKKK '' Negan yelled out, coming into Rick's ass as the two jerked and writhed in bliss

 

 

All that could be heard in the bedroom was the sound of their heavy breathing, as they lay entangled in one another

 

 

Negan kissed Rick on the back of his shoulder and tugged his arm out from underneath his neck

 

 

He pulled  his wet dick out  and rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling

 

 

Rick turned onto his back, doing the same, just staring up at the  ceiling, with a stupid satisfied grin on his face

 

 

Negan glanced at him and smirked, taking his hand in his and kissing his knuckles

 

 

''You're really something Grimes '' Negan smiled

 

 

'' So are you '' Rick smiled, sitting up just enough to kiss him, running a hand down the side of his face, eyes flicking over the handsome man

 

 

''I love you '' Rick said, quietly

 

 

'' I love you too baby  '' Negan smiled and went to kiss him, but Rick pulled back

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

''No I mean it, I really love you...I know you never believe me ''

 

 

'' Never said I never believed you ''

 

 

'' No, but you said  I loved Lori in a different way.. I didnt love you the way I  loved her..  but I do, I truly do...I love you '' he smiled

 

 

Negan looked at him strangely for a minute then pulled him down kissing him, their tounges intertwining

 

 

Rick pulled back

 

 

''I really need the bathroom''

 

 

''No stay here'' Negan pouted, grabbing onto  his shoulder

 

 

''Your cum is coming out my ass Negan  '' he raised an eyebrow

 

 

''And you're complaining....  why ?? '' Negan smirked

 

 

Rick smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips

 

 

Negan slapped his ass as he moved off the bed, and  began laughing at the way Rick was walking out the door

 

 

Rick gave him the middle finger over his shoulder as he disappeared out of the room and  into the bathroom

 

 

he sat on the loo and let the cum drain out..this was the unpleasant part of  sex with a male, sitting there waiting for it to all drip out

 

 

it had him feeling a bit like he was a cow, being milked

 

he did a wee and flushed the toilet, going over to the sink and having a drink of water, he glanced at himself as he passed the mirror, not even bothering with his self-loathing for once, and returned to the bedroom

 

 

Negan was on his side still naked, when Rick entered and he  grinned when he saw him

 

 

 

''all done princess  ??  '' he stuck his tongue between his teeth

 

 

 

''shut the fuck up, you  didn't have cum leaking out of your ass now did you '' he smirked, pulling his underwear up,  laying  down next to Negan, with his back to his chest

 

 

 

''well no '' he nuzzled  his ear with his lips, as he wrapped his arms around him

 

 

''But feels pretty damn good cumming in your ass even so '' He smirked, nipping  the shell of Rick's ear with his teeth

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

''well it feels pretty damn good when you do too '' he smiled, tightening his arms around Negan's arm

 

 

''well we make a pretty good pair then dont we ??  '' Negan kissed his neck

 

 

''I'd like to think so '' Rick simply smiled, feeling safe in the man's arms, as he soon drifted off to sleep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An intense light  from behind his closed  eyelids roused  Rick and he opened his eyes, still tired from sleep

 

 

his  body felt  stiff from sleeping in one position half the night and he began to move, but Negan's arms were still around him like a blanket

 

 

he looked back at the mans sleeping face, so peaceful and innocent looking.... but Rick knew he was far from innocent..but neither was he

 

 

'' Good morning ''  he kissed the back of Negan's hand that was resting on his

 

 

 the older man didnt so much as stir, he was a bloody heavy sleeper, Rick knew that for sure, he could  sleep through a fucking tornado, even if it was ripping the roof off

 

 

Rick smirked and reached around and took one of the man's nipples in his thumb and forefinger giving it a twist

 

 

Negan's eyes flashed open and he jolted back from Rick like he was fire

 

 

Rick laughed, turning onto his back as he stretched in the big bed

 

 

Yawning, he smirked at Negan

 

 

'' fucker '' Negan smirked, running and down his face

 

 

''sure know how to wake up a fella Grimes'' he rubbed his nipple

 

 

'' I didnt think that would wake  you up .. ..you could  sleep through a fucking explosive being lit up your ass usually  '' Rick put his hands behind his head on the pillow, looking smug

 

 

''sleep well ? '' he smiled

 

 

''yeah I did until I had  that fucking rude awaking ??  '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

"'wait till I do it to you asshole '' he winked and sat on the bed, pulling on his underwear

 

 

Rick sat up and draped his arms around Negan's neck, kissing the side of his face

 

 

''..I hate that you are so fucking chipper in the mornings '' he grumbled

 

 

'' You need some coffee by the sounds of it "' Rick pulled back and sat on the bed behind him

 

 

Negan turned around smiling

 

 

''you read my fucking mind baby '' he  grinned   broadly

 

 

'' I think I can handle that..without burning it that is  '' Rick knawed on the side of his check  

 

 

'' hey !! you make the best fucking coffee when we  go  camping '' Negan smiled

 

 

''I don't make it Negan... I heat it up over the fire and pour it into the cup for you '' Rick raised an eyebrow at him

 

 

''see... you aren't just a pretty face '' he touched Rick's chin with his fingers, smiling

 

 

he turned back around, raising his arms in the air, stretching

 

 

his muscled back  twisting and flexing, much to Rick's delight

 

 

he stood up and glanced back at Rick

 

 

'' well come on Grimes '' he clapped his hands together

 

 

'' your man needs some coffee' he winked 

 

 

'' My man '' Rick raised both his eyebrows, at the pet name

 

 

''Yeh why ??..you got someone else in mind  for the job ?'' he furrowed his brows, crossing his arms across his chest

 

 

Rick laughed

 

 

''No..no I guess I dont '' he moved to the edge of the bed, looking up at Negan

 

 

Negan touched the side of his face, his eyes flicking to his scar as he ran his thumb down it

 

 

 Rick went to pull back

 

 

but before he could, Negan grabbed  his face in both hands and leaned down, placing a kiss on his lips

 

 

he pulled back, looking into Rick's eyes

 

 

''Good cause you belong to me'' he growled and kissed Rick again, his stomach flipping at the man's possessive  nature he secretly craved 

 

 

he pulled back smirking and  left the room

 

 

Rick found some clean clothes and got dressed going down the staircase and into the kitchen where he lit the wood stove, finding  some coffee, and began to heat it up in a pot

 

 

his thoughts soon turned to their imminent return to the savior camp and Black River

 

 

he stared lifelessly  at the ember flames licking against the glass of the stove as he stood  leaning against the table in the middle of the room, arms folded across his chest

 

 

''Hey '' Negan's voice made him flinch and stand up straight

 

 

''thinks it ready '' he smirked, pointing to the pot boiling over on the stove, as he walked to the sink

 

 

''oh fuck  '' Rick raced over and took the pot  off the stove looking at it

 

 

'' I think I burnt it '' he glanced at Negan who had his back to him in the sink

 

 

he turned around

 

 

''let's look at it '' he sighed

 

 

Rick eyed him as he leaned over the pot inspecting it

 

 

he glanced at  Rick and smiled

 

 

 

'' it looks fine..what are you worried about ??  '' he winked  and pecked Rick on the lips

 

 

Rick looked in the pot of what now resembled  sticky molasses and not coffee and smelled burnt

 

 

''You sure ?? '' he looked at Negan, unconvinced

 

 

''Yeh I'm sure '' he said, not turning around to face Rick

 

 

'' you pour us out some and ill get  some toast on '' he turned around, grinning

 

 

 

Rick knew he was humoring him and he loved him for it...like loved him, like he had loved Lori, really loved him

 

 

Rick chose two mugs and poured the sludge into both, taking them outside to the porch

 

 

the beautiful warm sun belted down on Rick's face, as he sat in the chair with  his eyes closed 

 

 

''ok.. let's taste this coffee'' Negan's voice startled him and he sat up straight in the chair

 

 

he watched Negan sip the gross liquid and his lips twitched

 

 

''mmmm'' he  pursed his lips together, hiding a disgusted face, nodding his head

 

 

Rick smirked

 

''is it that  bad  ?? '' he sniffed the cup in his hand

 

 

'' Nah, it's absolutely beautiful Rick, told you you make the best damn coffee  '' he grinned, resting the cup on his knee 

 

 

'' heat it  up '' he smirked as he  sipped it, the foul taste of burnt coffee hit his tongue

 

 

''fuck '' he screwed his face up at the cup

 

 

''it tastes like shit..sorry '' he glanced at Negan

 

 

he furrowed his brows at him and picked up his cup, sipping it once more

 

 

''Nah, it's great..you sure know how to heat up coffee Grimes'' he held up his cup in the air and  sipped some more

 

 

Rick laughed out loud

 

 

''what ?? '' Negan looked at him, curiously

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

''you..you are such a bad liar..always were '' he smiled

 

 

''I'm not lying'' he scoffed

 

 

Rick smiled, sitting back in his char, looking out at the empty field...they hadn't taken the horses out of the stables yet..the sudden thought of the other animals  made him furrow his brow

 

 

'' What happens to the animals... when you go back to camp ?? '' Rick asked Negan

 

 

" Mary will still pop in and check on them ''

 

 

'' pop in'' Rick said sarcastically, raising his voice

 

 

''The horses need everyday care, the chickens, the  property '' he looked out into the fields

 

 

''I know that, but she can't come out here every day, I mean she lives in town now, when she used to live on the property it was a bit different Rick '' Negan  eyed Rick 

 

 

Rick slumped back in the chair

 

 

''If I dont find a buyer for his place, I'll have to sell the animals, I mean they deserve better care than I can give them what  ?? once a month '' he shrugged

 

 

''A buyer ? '' Rick eyed him

 

 

''yeh I was talking it over with Mary, if im not going  to move out here permanently, we both think its the best option'' he sipped the coffee

 

 

''But you can't sell this place, it's absolutely gorgeous...what about Lucille '' Rick said wide eyed

 

 

Negan stilled mid-sip as he held this cup close to his lips

 

 

He  turned to Rick narrowing his eyes

 

 

'' what about her ? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

''this place, it's your only connection to her, you shared so many memories with her here..you cant '' he stopped mid-sentence, seeing Negan's eyes boring into him, his expression less than impressed

 

 

" well Rick I don't think that's any of your business ... seeing as you shit on the idea of moving out here '' he spat, sitting  back in the chair, solum like

 

 

Rick's face twitched

 

 

''So this is all my fault is it ??? .. I didnt want to move out here so you're just giving up on it ?? '' he spat, not looking at Negan

 

 

'' what ?? like I gave up on Lucille you mean ?? '' Negan spat, venom in his tone

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

''I NEVER  fucking said that, so dont you dare fucking put  words into my mouth'' he spat

 

 

Negan was silent as he stared  out at the mountains

 

 

''I dont want to be here without you Grimes '' he whispered, sounding so small, so vulnerable, not the vicious savior he was portrayed to be

 

 

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, they had had this conversation before and it ended in an argument

 

 

it was a mammoth decision and he didnt want the yes or no answer  falling solely onto his shoulders

 

 

''You can't make such a huge decision because of me Negan, it has to be what you want to do with this place, it's yours after all..please .please dont make me feel guilty because I want to return to my family, my home '' he whispered, standing up

 

 

Negan didnt look at  him, staring out into nothing

 

 

''I'm gonna start packing, I think it's time we went back,dont you  ?? '' he said softly

 

 

he wasn't  angry or upset, he just thought it was time to go

 

 

Negan said nothing as Rick walked in front of him 

 

 

he stopped by his side and ran his hand over his jet black hair tenderly 

 

 

''it's beautiful here Negan, it really is..you'd be a fool to give all this up '' he smiled weakly

 

 

he ran his hand down his face, feeling his stubble prickle the back of his fingers, and walked towards the door, when he stopped, not turning around

 

 

'' you told me you had forgiven yourself, put all those bad memories aside about this place, that's a good place to be  Negan, I only wish I had that, was able to be at peace with something that  changed me for the rest of my life...dont fucking regret your decision to move on honey, or you will only go backward '' he smiled at the back of his head and walked inside

 

 

He walked up the staircase and into the bedroom, beginning to pack his bag

 

 

he went back downstairs to get Boots ready to be saddled up, walking outside, Negan was standing up looking out at the property, his cup of burnt coffee in his hand

 

 

Rick walked up behind   him and wrapped his hands around his waist, placing his cheek on his back

 

 

Negan flinched slightly at his touch and ran his fingers over his arms

 

 

''I'm gonna get the horses saddled up '' Rick whispered to his back

 

 

Negan was quiet

 

 

Rick pulled away from him and he turned around, a small smile was  on his face

 

 

'' you ok ?? '' Rick asked, concerned the taller man was being so quiet

 

 

he simply nodded and touched the  side of Rick's face tenderly, his eyes flicking over  his scar

 

 

''I'll be over with you a few minutes '' he smiled

 

 

Rick looked at him worried and smiled weakly as he walked down the porch steps and over to the stables

 

 

he turned around looking at Negan who seemed to be watching him, standing still on the porch

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and turned back to the front..maybe the burnt coffee had gone to his head ?? but it wasn't the first time since they  arrived on the farm that he was acting out of character 

 

 

He reached the stables and began saddling up Boots, he waited for Negan to show for a while, and when it was obvious he wasn't coming, he  saddled Ragnar up 

 

he walked them both over to the house and noticed Negan was now gone from the porch and his heart began to race..he didnt know why, but he suddenly had a bad feeling Negan had done something stupid..maybe hurt himself

 

 

he scoffed to himself, Negan wouldn't try and end his life, he wasn't like that....But a strange niggling feeling began to creep in under his skin

 

 

he tied the two horses up by the porch, and took the porch steps two at a time, almost busting the door in running through it

 

 

he immediately saw Negan, he was standing in the sitting room, his bag slung over his shoulder, looking up at Lucille

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, the man seemed frozen, rigid

 

 

''Negan'' he whispered

 

 

the man flinched at his voice and he turned around

 

 

''All Ready ??  '' he smiled

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

''Umm, yeh ill just get my bag '' he looked him up and down strangely

 

 

'' you ok ? '' his eyes flicked up to  the painting and back to him

 

 

''Sure.... I'm  fucking peachy  Rick '' he grinned and walked out of the room, toward Rick

 

 

he pecked him on the lips as he passed him and walked out the door

 

 

Rick watched him walk down the porch steps and talk to Ragnar,which wasn't unusual..he talked to Boots too

 

 

he sighed and ran up the staircase, grabbing his bag from the bedroom and descending the stairs, stopping when he came to the doorway of the sitting room,glancing up at Lucille

 

 

Her eyes didnt seem to bore into him anymore,they didnt make him uncomfortable either,something felt different when he looked at her

 

 

'' Come on Grimes, we're losing light '' Negan called from outside and Rick glanced at him

 

 

'' Yeh, coming '' he called back and walked out teh door shutting it behind him

 

 

Just as they were about to go over the mountain they both stopped and turned the horses around, looking   down on the property in the valley below

 

 

Rick glanced at Negan, his red bandana over his face, hat pulled down, sitting up straight and tall  on top of his horse, stoic like..he was beautiful

 

 

 Rick pulled Boots's reins turning him around and trotted off,leaving Negan to have a minute to himself looking at his beautiful property

 

 

Negan caught up to Rick, not saying anything and they rode in a comfortable silence until they saw the edge of camp just as the sun was setting

 

 

They took the horses to the barn and took the riding gear off them, walking them down to the paddock and setting them loose, shutting the gate behind them

 

 

Rick never thought he'd say it, but he was glad to be out of the saddle, as his shoulder began  to seize up 

 

 

 

Rick smiled as he  watched Boots and Ragnar  run around, frolicking with the other horses as he rubbed his shoulder

 

 

Negan came up behind him, putting his palms on the wooden fence, hands on either side  of Rick's body, chin on his shoulder

 

 

'' looks like they  missed their  friends '' he whispered in Rick's ear

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

'' come on I reckon we'd just be in time for supper '' he pushed off the fence and began walking away

 

 

Rick smiled at Boots and followed Negan up to camp, still unsure about his strange mood

 

 

As they reached the further end of the camp some saviors greeted Negan with hand shakes and smiles

 

 

When their  eyes fell  on Rick, their  faces seem to turn dark and twist with disgust

 

 

they walked further into camp as the sound of loud laughter and voices became apparent

 

 

Rick felt his guts tighten when  he sensed eyes boring into him as he walked side by side with  Negan 

 

 

he turned to look at them  and he recognized Sherry and Frankie amongst a group of woman

 

 

He  smiled weakly at them as Frankie waved at him, smiling broadly

 

he furrowed his brows at her,...he wasn't sure if he could trust her, why did she tell Negan about the handjob thing ? did she expect him to get jealous or was it more of maybe Rick was in the wrong and she wanted Negan to take care of it ??

 

 

Either way, he didnt quite trust her 

 

 

 

 Rick  practically run into Negan's tall frame, as he had stopped abruptly in front of him

 

 

He furrowed his brows at the man's back and walk out from behind him to  see a  large bon fire burning with several saviors sitting around it

 

 

'' Well holy shit..... Our fearless fucking leader has finally returned ''  a strangely familiar voice bellowed, making a shiver immediately run up Rick's spine

 

 

His eyes flicked in  the direction  of the voice, and he  looked over the burning ember flames of the fire seeing  a pair of  brown evil eyes, eyes  that he knew all too well

 

 

'' looks like he brought the deputy back too '' Simon spat, raising his cup in the air, a sadistic grin on his face

 

 

Notes:

What did we all think about Rick's dream..?? interesting !!

 

Simon is back..fucking snake

Chapter 46

Notes:

Wow !! I had a ball writing this chapter

so much going on 😥😥

Chapter Text

Rick felt instantly sick at the very sight of the man 

 

 

'' I wasn't expecting you back so soon '' Negan sounded just as shocked to see the man as Rick was 

 

 

Simon  smirked, his lip curled up in the corner

 

 

''Well, you wouldn't fucking believe it boss, but that tip-off you had about that money..it was bogus '' he spat

 

 

Rick's heart literally stopped,  only he knew that  Negan had sent Simon and the other men who were involved in shooting Rick with the crossbow, on a wild goose chase so they wouldn't fuck with Rick in camp while he was healing from the ordeal

 

 

'' Fucking Bullshit '' Negan spat

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked between the men 

 

 

''I got that information  from a very  fucking reliable source'' he gritted his teeth

 

 

''  what can I say ?? ..the boys and I found shit '' Simon shrugged, his eyes flicking over to Rick, narrowing 

 

 

 Negan stepped in front of Rick like he was shielding him

 

 

"well you were obviously looking in the wrong fucking spot '' he raised his voice

 

 

''Nah boss '' another man spoke up

 

 

'' we read your map right, followed it to the letter..... there was nothing there, not even a town, it was just desert ''

 

 

Negan was  still, silent, his face stiff, Rick's heart was thumping through his chest cavity

 

 

''FUCKING  FUCK '' Negan yelled, making Rick flinch

 

 

''I paid that son of a bitch good money for information and he fucking stiffs me '' he lied

 

 

''you want us to go sort it out ?? '' another man said beside Simon said

 

 

''Nah..Nah leave it for tonight  '' Negan waved his hand in the air, sighing

 

 

'' Tonight we  celebrate your return '' he grinned, suddenly changing his entire deminer

 

 

he walked over to the men and began  hugging them, slapping them on the back, giving them  handshakes, grinning like he was proud of them

 

 

 Rick looked at Simon,  the smug man made his blood boil

 

 

Simon glared at Rick with  a small smirk on his face, until Negan came up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder, whispering something into his ear which made him snort and laugh out loud,  his head falling  back, as he had done in Rick's dream

 

 

Rick's eyes widened at  the sight of him laughing like that, it  made something in his gut twist and he felt physically sick

 

 

The way Negan was draping  himself all over the man  made Rick feel fucking stupid for even giving a shit about some stupid dream

 

 

The fact he  was killed in that same  dream by the very  man he had his arm currently  slung over felt ironic to Rick and he felt anger boiling in his veins Like Negan was making a mockery of him

 

 

he didnt look up as he walked to his tent, head down, as the obnoxious sound of laughter faded the further he got from the bonfire

 

 

he  was glad Negan had put him in the tent at the  very far end of camp, away from the other saviors in that moment

 

 

He pushed the tent flaps inwards sitting down on his cot, his heart pounding the blood pumping in his ears, producing  a high-pitched ringing noise that made his head throb

 

 

he picked up a packet of matches sitting  on the crate next to his cot, lighting the oil lamp, so he could see

 

 

He took his bag off his shoulder, fishing around for his opium and water canteen..this place was like a fucking trigger, his anxiety and headaches just seem to develop every time he was  here

 

 

he grabbed the bottle and was about to spill  some  pills into his palm when he  noticed his hand was shaking

 

 

 the ringing noise made him screw his eyes shut in pain as he clenched his shaking  hand into a fist

 

 

he took the lid off his canteen quickly and it dropped to the floor as he spilled some pills into his hand

 

 

just as he threw them into his mouth, the tent flaps flew inwards and there stood Negan

 

 

Rick swallowed the pills followed by some water, his head pounding

 

 

''so what ...we've been back here what ??  5 fucking minutes and you're already fucking downing those fucking things '' he spat walking into the tent

 

 

Rick closed his eyes not wanting the man in his tent right now, feeling the magic wonder pills going down his throat like  pure liquid gold

 

 

'' you ever think his fucking place and the fucks that reside here trigger my fucking migraines '' he opened his eyes glaring up at the man, as he stood in front of him

 

 

Negan's face softened and he knelt in front of Rick, a hand on his knee

 

 

'' I didnt know he would be back so soon..you know that '' he whispered

 

 

''I know, and we  agreed you'd let me go when he did come back '' Rick stood up abruptly, making Negan remove his hand and stand up too

 

 

Rick was silent as he shoved his pills and canteen back in his bag

 

 

''What are you doing ??  " Negan sounded surprised 

 

 

''"I'm leaving, what's it look like '' Rick furrowed his brows at his bag, not turning around

 

 

''You can't be fucking serious ??? ''

 

 

'' if you think I'm spending another second here with the asshole who tried to kill me, then you've got another thing coming '' he spun around, bag on his shoulder

 

 

''it's fucking dark Rick, Shane could be hiding anywhere in the surrounding  mountains beyond my border,  just waiting to ambush you '' he raised his voice

 

 

''And what  ?? you dont think he can ambush me in the daylight ??  '' Rick raised an eyebrow

 

 

''Please you're being irrational about this  '' Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

Rick stilled

 

 

''Irrational '' he glared at Negan, jaw clenching

 

 

'' I'm being irrational ?? what about you ?? ''

 

 

''Me ?? ''

 

 

" You've been fucking spaced out all day, long before we left the farm, you didnt say a fucking word to me the entire  trip back here, but you see that fuck out there and you're all over him like a fucking leech '' he yelled

 

 

Negan face twisted

 

 

''A leech..he's my best friend, that I sent away for you, might I add, why wouldn't I welcome him back ?? ''

 

 

'' maybe because he wants me fucking dead ''

 

 

Negan laughed

 

 

'' he does not ..he  got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were stealing from the tents that night ''  Negan smiled

 

 

Rick screwed his face up at the man..was he always this fucking naive ??

 

 

'' Is that what you think ?? all this was just a fucking big misunderstanding ? '' Rick yelled wide eyed

 

 

''that I'm gonna forget what he did..?? I'm just gonna go out there, share a  drink with him,  be friends with him ''

 

 

''no one said that Rick '' Negan sighed, his hands on his hips, looking at the tent floor

 

 

'' And what about my dream ??  " Rick  yelled

 

 

''Fuck '' Negan pinched the bridge of his nose

 

 

''Are we back on this again..it was just a fucking dream Rick, it meant noting '' he sighed like the subject bored him

 

 

'' Look, I just dont want you to leave tonight, just stay one more night and I will ride  to Black River with you at sunrise ..ok ?? '' he glanced at Rick 

 

 

''I dont need a fucking chaperone Negan '' he spat

 

 

''I know you dont  '' he stepped closer to him

 

 

''but I'm not giving  you a fucking choice on the subject  ''  his eyes narrowed 

 

 

''You can leave, but you are not going alone, do I make myself clear ??  '' he growled

 

 

Rick glared up at him

 

 

''Do I make myself clear Rick '' he  raised his voice, slightly possessive

 

 

Rick's jaw clenched in anger

 

 

''Yeh '' he mumbled, averting his eyes

 

 

'' What ?? '' Negan snapped

 

 

"YES '' he yelled in his face, feeling like a fucking child

 

 

Negan stepped back, looking Rick up and down

 

 

''Now I dont give a fuck if you sulk in here all night over something I couldn't control, like Simon's return.... just  as long as you dont fucking step one foot outside  this camps borders '' he spat

 

 

''.... or you can come out there and join us for a few drinks and supper, maybe... just maybe  get that  fucking stick out of your ass for our last night together in a while yeh ?? '' he added

 

 

Rick stared at the floor

 

 

Negan glared at him, his hazel eyes filled with anger but also empathy

 

 

'' look what do you expect me to do here Rick huh ?? only you and I know I sent them out there on a fucking wild goose chase, and what ?? you dont expect me to have a drink with them when they return, ignore them ?? '' he ducked his head to catch Rick's angry eyes 

 

 

'' I'm still  a savior, these people are still my men, my family '' he whispered

 

 

Rick knew he was right ..he was acting like a brat, but he stayed silent

 

 

Negan stood up straight, sighing

 

 

''At least there's no fucking whiskey in here for you to get fucking drunk on   '' he looked around the tent

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to him

 

 

'' I wasn't intending to  get fucking  drunk '' he spat

 

 

''I dunno Rick, it seems to be the first thing you turn to   when things don't go your fucking way around here '' He furrowed his brows

 

 

Rick glared at the floor

 

 

Negan looked at him and his face softened

 

 

 

''I'm trying here Rick, I really am, I'm trying to keep the peace baby '' he shook his head

 

 

Rick face softened

 

 

he walked toward Negan and wrapped his arms around him

 

 

Negan did the same, putting his chin on top of Rick's head

 

 

'' Please just stay tonight, I need to know you're safe '' he whispered

 

 

''I dont like it, but I'll stay just for tonight '' he whispered, hugging Negan tighter, feeling anxious about his decision

 

 

Negan took his arms off from around Rick and took his face in both his  hands, kissing him softly

 

 

'' Thank you '' he whispered, smiling and kissing him again

 

 

''Now I better get back, you coming ?? '' he smiled

 

 

Rick averted his eyes to the ground, sighing

 

 

'' If that fucking asshole starts anything.... ''

 

 

'' I'll fucking punch him in the jaw myself ..ok '' Negan grinned

 

 

Rick looked up at him smiling 

 

 

'' Deal '' he pulled Negan down to kiss him

 

 

'' come on sheriff  '' he smiled and put his arm around Rick's shoulder as they left the tent

 

 

they walked back to the bonfire, Rick's heart was in his throat when  they stopped in front of the burning flames, his eyes darting to each and every savior giving him dirty looks

 

 

Negan wrapped his arm around  Rick's  shoulder once again, pulling him towards  his body, roughly

 

 

'' Now The sheriff  here is staying one more night, returning to Black River tomorrow '' he smiled, looking around the fire

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed around the crowd, as he felt his stomach twist, their eyes boring into him

 

 

''He won't start any shit if you dont..and I'm talking solely to you Simon '' he glared at the man

 

 

'' Me ?? I wouldn't touch a single strand of  hair on his pretty little head '' He smirked at Rick, holding his cup up in the air

 

 

Rick's lip curled up,  he wanted to kill the asshole

 

 

''Good, now, let's drink '' Negan yelled, taking his arm from around Rick's shoulder and walking toward Simon

 

 

Rick suddenly felt very alone as he stood with his hand in his pockets, looking  for a familiar face

 

 

'' Rick '' Carol's voice echoed from behind him

 

 

He turned around as she and Daryl were walking down the hill behind him, bowls in their hands, smiling

 

 

Daryl had his usual expression on his face,  friendly but  guarded

 

 

''You're back '' Carol beamed

 

 

''Ummm yeh, got back about an hour ago '' he rubbed the back of his neck as they both eyed him

 

 

'' did you have a  nice time ??  '' Carol smiled

 

 

Rick was silent, wanting to talk about anything other than what he and Negan had gotten up to..he looked down at their bowls

 

 

''That looks great '' he pointed to their bowls, changing the subject

 

 

Carol glanced down at her bowl

 

 

''oh yes, Joey is serving up supper now, but It looks like  Negan and the others would rather get drunk '' she eyed the group behind Rick

 

 

Rick turned to look at them and saw Negan laughing with Simon and he furrowed his brows, turning back to Carol

 

 

''Yeah well..more for the rest of us hey'' he smiled weakly

 

 

she smiled as he passed them both 

 

 

Rick glanced at Daryl  as he passed him, who didnt make eye contact with him

 

 

He wondered why he was being so quiet towards him ?? he was friendly enough  before he left with Negan ??

 

 

He shrugged it off and walked towards the food wagon, where Joey was stirring a large pot of something that smelt amazing

 

 

"Rick'' he smiled when he saw him

 

 

Rick extended his hand to the jolly man, but he looked at it strangely

 

 

suddenly he grabbed Rick in a bear hug, squeezing the life out of him, almost lifting the lighter man off the ground

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth as he put him down

 

 

"Good to see you too Joey '' he smiled weakly, rubbing his shoulder

 

 

''got some bean stew tonight '' he grinned into his pot

 

 

''smells amazing load me up...unfortunately, this will be the last time I get savior some of your wonderful cooking, I'm heading back to Black River tomorrow'' Rick smiled

 

 

Joey looked at him like his mother just died and Rick felt like he had broken his heart

 

 

'' oh no '' he almost yelled

 

 

''well what a shame Rick, we were  just getting to know you, Carol, Sherry, Frankie  they haven't stopped raving about since you left '' he laughed

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the man, wondering why they would be singing his praises ??

 

 

Joey glanced at him

 

 

'' Because of the  cave incident  '' he eyed Rick, dipping his ladle into the pot and dumping some stew in a bowl for Rick

 

 

''Oh that..any man  would have done the same '' he smiled weakly

 

 

''You gonna leave some of that  for the savior's joey, or you gonna give it all to the law '' Simon's spiteful voice spat from behind Rick like a fucking bad omen

 

 

 

Joey's face instantly fell  and glanced at Rick as he dished up another bowl

 

 

 

Rick turned around, his lip curled up in the corner, his teeth showing..he fucking despised the man, almost as much as Shan

 

 

 

'' The boys were telling me about the women and children you bravely saved from those terrible men in the cave sheriff '' he smirked, being a sarcastic motherfucker

 

 

''wow  I mean, what a fucking hero you are to all of us, what would we do without you ?? '' he stepped closer  to Rick

 

 

'' that's one hell of a way to earn points with the boss .... Sheriff '' he snarled, spitting the sheriff part out with venom

 

 

''I wasn't doing it for points asshole,I did it because I  actually genuinely cared about what happened to them, they were innocent, it didn't matter to me if they were saviors or not, I saw a group of women and children in trouble and I acted....you '' he looked at the man up and down distastefully

 

 

''You're just a fucking coward, a  murdering piece of shit who deserves nothing more in life than to have a noose around his neck '' he glared at him

 

 

Joey's eyes were wide as he glanced between the two men

 

 

Simon's lip curled up and he took another dangerously close step towards Rick, inches from his face

 

 

''You may be Negan's little pet now, but wait till I get you alone you fuck '' He spat in Rick's face, pushing him in the chest

 

 

 

'' Knock it off Simon '' Joey yelled, putting his larger frame in  between the slightly smaller men before Rick could react

 

 

 

They bore holes into each other, the air tense with male  testosterone and inflated egos

 

 

 

Rick backed away first, trying very hard to abide by Negan's rule of 'no fucking fighting tonight ', and picked up his bowl of stew, glancing at Joey

 

 

 

''Thank you, Joey, this looks amazing "  he smiled weakly at the man, patting him on the shoulder, glaring at Simon as he walked back down to the bonfire

 

 

 

he sat down next   to Carol, Sophia, Daryl, and Sherry

 

 

 

the women  acknowledge him with a warm smile, but Daryl stared into his bowl 

 

 

 

Negan was sitting opposite Rick,   the fire burning between them, talking to another  savior

 

 

his eyes flashed to Simon who followed close behind him, storming over and sitting down, just a few men from Negan

 

 

Both men immediately bore holes into each other, until Negan leaned across in front of several saviors and poked  his finger into Simon's chest drawing his attention away from Rick

 

 

Simon began running his mouth, pointing  at Rick with  a scowl on his face

 

 

Negan looked irritated and he seemed to be giving Simon an ear full, but Rick couldn't hear it over the loud chatter on his side of the fire

 

 

The Savior's leader  sat up straight and glared at Rick for a moment over the flames of the fire, before  going back to his conversation with the  savior beside him

 

 

 Simon  pouted as he began eating his stew, it was  obvious he had  been reprimanded

 

 

why the fuck was Negan glaring at Rick..what did he do ??

 

 

 

''So Rick, Dwight tells me you're leaving tomorrow '' Sherry's voice drew Rick's attention away from the  men across from him

 

 

 

''umm yeh '' he glanced at her

 

 

 

'' I've healed well enough to ride my horse home...don't want to outstay my welcome now do I ?? '' he smiled weakly at her and glanced back at Negan who was laughing loudly

 

 

Simon had seemingly lost interest in eye fucking him and  was talking to a savior next to  him

 

 

Rick suddenly realized he hadn't seen  Dwight since his return..now his name was mentioned

 

 

''where is Dwight  anyway, I haven't seen him since we got  back ?? '' he questioned Sherry

 

 

''oh, we've had some coyotes down in the horse paddock the last few nights, so we've got men on watch now   '' she motioned down to the paddock

 

 

He knew there were only about 9 stables on the land here and about 25/30  horses, so obviously they couldn't put them all  in there  at night for safety

 

 

''The mongrel sons of bitches have killed 2 horses already '' Daryl mumbled into his bowl

 

 

'' The horses will be safe though right ?? '' Rick suddenly felt anxious about Boots being down there

 

 

''Dwight's the best fucking shooter in camp '' Daryl mumbled, looking at Rick

 

 

'' he'll get the bastards'' he looked back to the fire 

 

 

''your horse will be fine Rick  '' Carol put her hand on Rick's knee and he glanced at her

 

 

''Now I know you probably dont want to talk about your wounds right now, but I hope you didnt agitate that shoulder while you were out of my sight ?? she eyed it through his clothes

 

 

'' it did niggle a bit after the long ride out to Negan's property, but it was fine after resting it  '' he smiled

 

 

'' he took you out to his property ?? ''  Frankie's meek voice seemed to come out of nowhere  behind the group

 

 

''Umm..yeh '' he glanced behind him, eyes landing on the young woman, who had a bowl  in her hand and a  scowl on her face

 

 

'' He's taken me there before too you know '' she said somewhat spitefully, sitting down next to Sherry

 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows..Negan told him he hadn't taken anyone out there since Lucille died,Rick was the first

 

 

 

'' its beautiful isn't it ?? '' she beamed

 

 

 

'' um yeh, yeh it was '' he smiled eating his stew

 

 

'' Did he tell you about Lucille ?? '' she questioned

 

 

''yes'' Rick glanced at her

 

 

she looked surprised, the others looked somewhat uncomfortable

 

 

'' You know we made  love in that bed, the same bed he  shared with his  wife, it was so romantic '' she smiled

 

 

Rick almost chocked on his stew, as he coughed over the bowl

 

 

"'Frankie " Carol snapped at her, glancing back to Rick

 

 

 ''No, I  didn't know that  '' he wiped the stew from his mouth..wondering why she was revealing intimate details to the group

 

 

well they all already probably knew, but Rick didnt need to hear about what Negan had done with her before they had  rekindled  their relationship, she was being extremely petty 

 

 

''You know Lucille died there '' Sherry interrupted

 

 

 

''yes he told me the whole story '' Rick was getting annoyed with her

 

 

 

''Really '' she looked surprised once more

 

 

 

''And how are your stitches ??  I hope you kept them dry ??  "  Carol smiled, trying her best to change the subject

 

 

 

''Yes '' he mumbled into his bowl

 

 

 

'' Maybe I can take  the ones in your throat  out before you leave '' she smiled

 

 

 

Rick stilled, the soup spoon lingering just near his lips

 

 

 

''umm, yeh maybe '' he lied, he wasn't ready for her to come at his throat with a knife again, just yet

 

 

 

'' Oh are you leaving Rick ??  '' sherry piped up

 

 

"yeh, tomorrow morning  '' he  smiled, he was ready to leave this camp and never return, to be honest

 

 

'' You've all been so accommodating '' He smiled weakly at them, knowing they were the only ones who were decent to him, and Dwight and joey

 

 

''well Rick we've enjoyed having you '' Carol beamed

 

 

A loud hearty laugh from across the bonfire made Rick look over, as Negan was throwing his head back, mouth open, joyfully having a good old time, as the saviors next to him grinned and laughed as well

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched at how he was being so fucking fake with them the same men who had almost killed Rick that night, the same  men  he had sent away to seemingly protect him

 

 

 Frankie stood up abruptly and  walked over to the loud men, swaying her young  body deliberately  in their faces, flicking her red hair over her shoulder seductively, like she had done it many times  before

 

 

The drunk men all stopped cackling and looked up at her as she passed them, their tounges practically hanging out of their heads

 

 

Simon slapped her on the ass and she giggled like he didnt disgust her as she  made a beeline for Negan

 

 

 she sat  herself down in his lap, confidently, draping herself all over him, as he grinned his stupid wolf grin at her

 

 

Rick felt immense jealousy stirring in his gut watching the two of them, especially  now he knew Negan had taken her to the farm as well, he felt somewhat betrayed and forgotten about at that moment

 

 

"dont worry Rick, she's just a whore ....You know Negan loves you "' Carol whispered

 

 

Rick blinked, furrowing his brows at her, he didnt expect the word WHORE  to ever come out of her seemingly innocent mouth 

 

 

'' what ??  '' he almost laughed 

 

 

'' I told you she was ..'' she paused, choosing her words more carefully than before

 

 

'' popular amongst the men..you know she is just trying to make you jealous '' she smiled 

 

 

''yeh well it's working '' he glared over at them, as Frankie squealed  with laughter, practically smothering Negan with her body

 

 

''shes just a silly girl  with a crush to him Rick ''

 

 

''yeh well she wasn't just a silly girl when they fucked was she  " he spat spitefully

 

 

 

Carol was silent

 

 

 

'' That was long  before you arrived  Rick and I think you'll find Frankie embellished that story quite a bit to her advantage '' she glanced at the two of them

 

 

 

He glared at Negan who was extremely close to the young woman's face, their lips  almost touching

 

 

 

He couldn't sit there and watch anymore, it made him feel sick to his stomach, it was like Negan had forgotten he even existed

 

 

he stood up, abruptly

 

 

 

'' Come on Rick, don't go '' Carol looked up at him

 

 

 

''It ok, really I have had a long ride back today and  I'm in for a whole days ride back home tomorrow..I'd better rest  this shoulder '' he smiled weakly, lying

 

 

Carol  looked at him like she knew he was  full of shit and the scene across from them was the real reason he was leaving

 

 

''ok '' she simply smiled

 

 

"I'll see you all in the morning before I leave " he smiled weakly, glancing at her, Sophia, whose head lay in Carol's lap, fast asleep, Daryl  and Sherry who gave Rick  sympathetic looks

 

 

He glanced over at Negan one more time, wondering if he would acknowledge his presence, but his tongue was  currently down Frankie's throat 

 

 

 

His eyes widen and he stormed off, feeling fucking betrayed

 

 

 

he pushed the tent flaps inwards in his rage  and re-lit the oil lamp, his  heart pumping rapidly  and his fists clenching

 

 

'' fucking whore '' he mumbled to himself

 

 

but Negan looked happy enough to be going along with it, right in front of Rick, she couldn't solely be to blame for the pathic scene he just witnessed..he somehow thought he and Negan were exclusive now, but he did always have a fucking wondering eye

 

 

 

So much for their last night together in a while..he'd rather be getting drunk with his men and kissing  a woman

 

 

He glanced over in the corner of the tent at his saddle bag he had left behind when they went to the property, in favor of taking his satchel, which was smaller

 

 

 

He stood up, bringing  it over to the bed, fishing  around in it, pulling out his empty gun holster that had been  in there since they brought him in half dead that night

 

 

 

He pulled open his satchel and  grabbed the red handled  hatchet he had taken from the barn

 

 

 

A sudden twinge of guilt ran through his body, maybe he should have asked Negan if he could even have it ..but it wasn't like he would miss it right ??

 

 

he laid  his hoster flat on the bed and put the hatchet in the small pouch his trusty machete used to sit in and he ran his fingers over the worn leather, his heart hurting slightly,knowing his weapons were lost forever..his colt python and his machete

 

 

he put the holster on top of the crate and lay down on the bed, staring up at the tents worn fabric roof, slightly apprehensive about returning to Black River tomorrow but also excited to see the girls, he smiled thinking about them and  soon saw blackness as his eyes drifted shut

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A loud gunshot made Rick's eyes immediately fly open

 

 

He fell out of the cot, half asleep trying to get to his feet, his heart racing

 

 

his eyes darted around the dark tent as he tried to get his bearings 

 

 

he grabbed his holster off the crate with the hatchet still sitting in its place and  stood up,  fastening  it  tightly around his waist, and  stormed out of the tent

 

 

Another loud gunshot echoed in the direction of the  horse paddock and  Rick's heart began to thud loudly

 

 

Another two  shots immediately following each other, made Rick begin to sprint, his throat dry

 

 

He saw two saviors, walking up from the paddock, resting their  large shotguns on their shoulders

 

 

''what's going on ??  '' Rick yelled as he passed them not stopping, frantic

 

 

''coyotes in the horse paddock '' one man  mumbled as they  kept walking

 

 

Rick felt physically sick as he ran down to the field, the only thing on his mind was Boots

 

 

he immediately saw  Daryl and Dwight standing by the paddock fence, holding oil lamps in their hands,   their shotguns propped up against the fence, standing next to what looked like Simon

 

 

he was kneeling on the ground, hunched over,  throwing his guts up in the grass

 

 

they both saw Rick and glanced at each other, knowing looks on their faces

 

 

'' Rick '' Daryl called out, as Simon continued to  hack his guts up

 

 

'' Are the horses ok, the men said there was a coyote in the horse paddock '' he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating the two men who he had passed 

 

 

Dwight was silent and looked pale in the dim light of the oil lamp he was holding

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked down to his shirt, which was stained with blood

 

 

'' Are you ok ? '' he pointed at the man's shirt

 

 

he glanced down  at his shirt and looked back at Rick, stunned like

 

 

''yeh.. ..it's ...it's not mine '' he mumbled

 

 

''Rick, there's been an accident ''  Daryl said softly, averting his eyes to the man on the ground still  vomiting heavily

 

 

Rick's heart was now up in his throat, his head beginning to pound against his skull like it was trying to escape

 

 

''what ?? whats happened ??  ''  he furrowed his brows, feeling anxious and sick in the stomach

 

 

'' Fucking stupid horse  '' Simon spat, as he raised his head from the grass

 

 

"shut the fuck up Simon '' Daryl snarled down at him

 

 

'' It was too dark   " Dwight looked to the ground, avoiding Rick's eyes

 

 

Rick knew.....he knew it was Boots, the odd way they were acting around him, it wasn't just some other saviors horse

 

 

Rick felt bile rising in his throat and looked blankly into the field where he saw several lamps burning in the darkness

 

 

'' Simon  was drunk..'' Daryl began

 

 

Rick  stormed through the open paddock fence towards  the lamps, feeling unbelievable anxiety gripping his entire body

 

 

'' Rick hold up man  '' Daryl called out behind him

 

 

He ignored the man's voice, he needed to see for himself, make sure it wasn't Boots..they were mistaken, it wasn't Boots at all, he told himself as he stomped through the long grass

 

 

As he walked  closer, he realized one of the people holding an oil lamp was Negan, he recognized his coat  instantly 

 

 

he was kneeling down in front of something dark, his lamp raised in the air

 

 

another savior was standing beside him with  a large shotgun in his hand, looking around the dark paddock, like something was still out there

 

 

The man noticed Rick and said something  to Negan

 

 

Negan turned his head immediately and  mouthed the word ' FUCK ' rubbing his hand over his face

 

 

he stood up facing Rick, handing the lamp  to the savior standing beside him and began walking towards him

 

 

Rick's breathing was labored and continued to walk toward the man

 

 

'' Rick  '' he said  stopping 

 

 

Rick continued to walk, about to pass the man, when he grabbed him by the bicep, tightly

 

 

His eyes flicked to the man's hand and he glared up at him

 

 

'' Dont honey '' his eyes  filled with sadness

 

 

that's when Rick knew it was real, Boots ..... had been the one that was killed, Negan's face said it all

 

 

'' No '' He shook his head, averting his eyes to the grass, a large lump in his throat was restricting his swallowing

 

 

'' there were several coyotes....the men..they shot at them, it  was dark, the horses got spooked '' he ducked his head to meet his eyes

 

 

Rick felt himself shaking and he looked at the other Savior still standing next to what could only be Boots on the ground

 

 

''it was an accident baby  '' he whispered

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth, his hand gripping the handle of his hatchet

 

 

He  had to see Boots for himself

 

 

he pulled his arm free from Negan's grip and stormed over to the horse

 

 

'' Rick dont  '' he yelled from behind him

 

 

Rick stormed over to the other man, glaring at him

 

 

he looked at  Rick with slight sorrow in his eyes

 

 

Boots lay still, on his side  as Rick  fell to his knees on the grass, running a shaky hand over the beast's still warm body

 

 

he felt his entire body shaking uncontrollably and he closed his eyes

 

 

'' Give me the lamp '' he spat to the man standing next to him

 

 

the man was silent

 

 

'' NOW '' Rick yelled, feeling warm tears in his eyes

 

 

the man handed him the lamp and Rick grabbed it, not looking  up at him

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath and held the lamp up to see  what was left of his  companion

 

 

He had two large  gunshot wounds on his body, one  in the shoulder and one in the chest

 

 

The gaping wounds looked  strangely like they were inflicted at close range  and Rick felt bile rising in his throat, swallowing it back down with gritted teeth

 

 

Anger was boiling in his gut like a pot of coffee on an open fire and it felt like it was about to explode

 

 

he glanced up at the animal's face, his eyes were still open, wide with fear...  he must have been so fucking scared in those last minutes

 

 

Rick's head began to spin   and he knew what was coming...he pushed it down and ran his hand over the animal's once white hooves, now drenched in his own blood

 

 

He  couldn't hold it down anymore and he stood up abruptly, stumbling only a few feet away from his dead friend, and  emptied  his guts out onto  the ground

 

 

his body jerked as Joey's  stew he had eaten previously  splattered all over the long grass beneath his boots, the ground spinning violently

 

 

he suddenly felt a strong hand on his shoulder and he flinched

 

 

the tender gesture felt  like an electrical current had suddenly rushed through his body

 

 

'' Rick, I'm so sorry baby '' Negan whispered

 

 

''who did this ??  '' he snarled, hunched over, spew hanging off his lips

 

 

''it doesn't matter ''

 

 

'' was it, Simon ??  '' he gritted his teeth, turning his head slightly to the man behind him, just enough for him to see his boots on the ground

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

Rick felt his body shaking with pure  anger and hatred as his head pounded like a fucking  lit explosive

 

 

'' It doesn't matter now, come on, you're only making it worse by  being out here  '' Negan attempted to pull Rick upright   by his underarm, but Rick flinched and stood up abruptly, spinning around facing the man, wiping the spew off his mouth with the back of his hand

 

 

'' Those wounds are  from  close range  gunshots  '' he spat, pointing to Boots

 

 

'' Whoever did this was close enough to know he wasn't  a fucking coyote Negan  '' he yelled

 

 

''Come on Rick, it was an accident  '' Negan said softly

 

 

''It wasn't a fucking accident, he was shot at close range twice '' He yelled, his head, pounding 

 

 

'' who did this ?? was it Simon ?? '' He spat

 

 

'' Rick... '' he sighed, putting his hands on his hips

 

 

''WHO THE FUCK WAS IT  ?? '' he yelled, gripping the handle of the hatchet in his holster

 

 

Negan glanced to the ground, his jaw tightening

 

 

He didnt need to say anything, Rick knew who had pulled the trigger

 

 

Simon had killed Boots..Boots his companion, the only friend he had in the world when he would travel out into the desert for months on end

 

 

Rick glared at him, his hands shaking, his head still pounding in his skull

 

 

He abruptly  stormed past Negan, making sure he deliberately ran his shoulder into his body

 

 

''Come on Rick, he's not worth it '' Negan called out behind him

 

 

He clenched his teeth together storming towards the  men by the fence, but one was noticeably  missing

 

 

"Rick '' Daryl began

 

 

'' where is he ??  '' Rick spat

 

 

the two men  glanced at each other 

 

 

'' who ??  '' Dwight  furrowed his brows, dumbly 

 

 

" fucking Simon, he did this, he killed Boots '' Rick yelled

 

 

'' Grimes " Negan yelled behind him

 

 

Rick walked away, not waiting for a bullshit answer from the two men who were obviously covering for the piece of shit

 

 

'' Rick wait " Daryl called out 

 

 

 

His head was pounding and he blocked out the urge to vomit once more as his migraine began getting stronger and more intense

 

 

 

The camp was relatively empty, due to the late time of night, most of the saviors were asleep

 

 

 

Rick was stone faced, as he stormed deeper into camp, his eyes boring holes into  every fucking dirty savior he came across scattered around 

 

 

 

he came upon 2 saviors sitting around the now burnt out bonfire, one was asleep on the other's shoulder, obviously drunk

 

 

 

'' where's Simon ??  '' Rick  spat venom at them

 

 

 

the one who was still awake  looked dumbly up at him, his eyes bloodshot and tired

 

 

'' What ? '' he slurred

 

 

Rick's anger was boiling at the dumb fucking answers he was getting to a simple question, they were all fucking hiding the son of a bitch

 

 

his vision was getting becoming  blurry as the pain in his head began to worsen, his heart racing with anger and adrenalin

 

 

He rounded the back of the camp where his tent was set up because it was separate from the rest of the camp, which at the time, Negan thought was the best opinion 

 

 

An old run down wagon missing a wheel and some crates  stacked up on one another were all that sat there in the darkness

 

 

''  looking for me sheriff  ??  '' Simon growled from the darkness

 

 

Rick instantly gripped the handle of  his hatchet, his stance stiff, ready to strike as soon as the coward  stepped out of the darkness he was hiding in

 

 

 

'' But it looks like I found you ... didnt I .....Rick  '' he spat his name like it disgusted him and stumbled out of the darkness, a bottle of alcohol  in one hand, a shotgun  propped up in the other

 

 

 

 Rick  narrowed his eyes at the man's gun, it was a Winchester shotgun, an extremely  powerful weapon, very similar to what Negan carried and he knew  a simple hatchet was no comparison  to it, this thing packed a fucking punch and he closed his eyes briefly at the terrible thought of Boots being brought down with the  large slugs

 

 

 

''How's your horsey Sheriff...I mean he didnt look too good when I saw him last  '' he laughed, bringing the whiskey bottle to his lips

 

 

Rick's whole body shook with rage as he flew at the intoxicated man, not thinking about his own safety 

 

 

they both fell to the ground, the shotgun going off as it fell from Simon's hand

 

 

It  made Rick's ears physically hurt and he raised his  hands to his head in agony

 

 

 Simon brought the bottle of alcohol up to the side of Rick's head, smashing the glass  straight into his knuckles, holding his head

 

 

Rick yelled out  in pain, as Simon pushed him off  and he  fell to  the dusty ground

 

 

'' you filthy fucking lawman... ..I'm gonna fucking kill you just like I did your fucking horse  '' Simon yelled and got on top of him, putting his hands around his throat, as Rick struggled to pull the hatchet from his holster

 

 

''I know Negan's sticking his cock up your ass..that's why he's always protecting you  '' he gritted his teeth above Rick, pressing his hands around his throat tightly

 

 

he knew about him and Negan ?? but how ?? 

 

 

'' Now That puts a whole new spin on ' fucking the enemy ' doesn't it sheriff  ?? '' he smirked, leaning down,  leering in Rick's face

 

 

Rick's head was spinning, his vision beginning to blur, his lungs feeling constricted as Simon continued to  crush  his windpipe 

 

 

''But I  got big plans coming Ricky boy .....Negan's going to be taken down a few notches..right down...down to fucking hell where he belongs ''  he gritted his teeth

 

 

His words sank into Rick's mind like a sponge absorbing water..did he just threaten Negan's life ??

 

 

he used all his strength he could muster and jerked  his knee up into Simon's crotch as he fell backward, holding his dick, howling in agony

 

 

Rick sat up, gasping for air, as his head spun from lack of oxygen, his migraine  making him feel nauseous

 

 

he shook his head trying to breathe and yanked  the hatchet out of his holster, scrambling  on top of Simon, raising the hatchet in the air, teeth gritted

 

 

''Drop it Grimes '' Negan's loud voice echoed in his ears

 

 

Rick looked up, coming face to face with the end of the man's shotgun

 

 

Simon began to laugh obnoxiously

 

 

''You shut the fuck up you drunk son of  a bitch '' Negan spat down at the man

 

 

Rick's jaw clenched as he saw Dwight and Daryl standing  next to the older man, their guns drawn on Rick too

 

 

'' what the fuck is this ?? this fucker killed Boots '' Rick spat,wide eyed

 

 

''Come on Rick, it was an accident " Dwight said, gently

 

 

'' Bullshit, he admitted it '' He yelled

 

 

'' Drop the hatchet  Rick '' Negan repeated himself, eyes narrowed over his shotgun

 

 

'' kill this prick '' Simon yelled 

 

 

''Shut the fuck up Simon'' Negan spat

 

 

'' shut the fuck up  Simon '' Simon laughed, mocking Negan

 

 

Negan glared down at the drunken man 

 

 

" Daryl, Dwight... get this piece of shit up on his feet '' Negan said, not taking his eyes off of Rick, his shotgun still raised at him

 

 

the two men put their weapons back in their holsters and began walking towards Rick, who gripped the hatchet in his hand tighter, glaring up at them

 

 

''Come on Rick '' Daryl looked at him, sympathetically

 

 

''Dont make this any harder than it has to be Grimes " Negan spat

 

 

Rick  glared  up at  him, he  felt like he was being ambushed.....no one believed him, even the man he loved

 

 

'' He killed Boots '' he repeated softly..but he knew it was only falling on deaf ears

 

 

''Come on Rick ..please '' Negan  said softly

 

 

Rick eyed the two other men who were waiting beside him, instead of tackling him to the ground

 

 

 

his head was throbbing..he desperately needed some opium

 

 

 

he sighed, he knew it was no use, they didn't want to hear it, Simon was a savior and he was a lawman, nothing would ever change

 

 

he stood up, holstering his hatchet, his jaw twitching, glaring at Negan out of he top of his eyes

 

 

'' Get him out of here " Negan spat, lowering his shotgun, eyes trained on Rick

 

 

the two men  hauled Simon to his feet and he began laughing loudly

 

 

'' not so tough now without your dumb fucking  horse are ya Sheriff ??  '' he laughed at Rick

 

 

Rick  couldn't take anymore

 

 

he lunged at Simon, the force and speed at which Rick attacked him, had Daryl and Dwight falling down with them

 

 

Rick began smashing his fist into Simon's smug  face,  his open and bleeding knuckles from the glass bottle, mixed with blood pouring from the disgusting man's face

 

 

 

suddenly he was grabbed around his chest  and lifted off of Simon, and thrown backward roughly

 

 

 

a shotgun barrel was shoved in his  face once more, Negan on the other end, standing  between Simon on the ground and Rick 

 

 

 

"You're really  starting to fucking piss me off now  Grimes '' he snarled over the long silver barrel

 

 

 

Rick glared at him with hatred as the two men got to their feet 

 

 

 

" GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ..NOW ''  Negan roared, turning his head back to the men slightly, making Rick's head  vibrate

 

 

the two men got Simon to his  feet once more, and dragged  him away, laughing obnoxiously

 

 

Negan was still eyeing Rick down the barrel of his shotgun until the sound of  Simon's cackling couldn't be heard anymore

 

 

he jerked  it away from Rick's face, his expression stern

 

 

Rick felt betrayed by the man he thought had his back, he just let a savior go after he had done such an atrocious thing..but what the fuck did he think was going to happen?? Negan was a savior, he always would be no matter how charming he was or how much he tried not to be, he was still a fucking savior, a murdering, robbing, stealing, outlaw scum Savior !!

 

 

He  gripped the handle of the hatchet tightly, so tight he felt the splinters  slicing into his palms..he wanted to kill Simon, take his life like he took Boots's, but Negan had taken that away from him

 

 

He glared at the man with betrayal in his eyes 

 

 

 

''Come on Grimes, dont look at me like that honey..what was I supposed to do just then ??  let you kill one of my men, right here in my camp '' he scoffed

 

 

 

Rick's lip curled up and he felt his body shaking

 

 

 

Negan looked uncomfortable at Rick silence and he glanced down to his hand

 

 

 

'' didnt know you smuggled that back to camp '' he  jerked his head at  the hatchet

 

 

Rick didnt take his eyes off the man, he was fucking furious

 

 

'' He killed boots ''  Rick  repeated like a broken record

 

 

Negan sighed loudly

 

 

''He threatened to kill you  '' Rick  spat

 

 

Negan looked at Rick curiously

 

 

''what ?? ''

 

 

''he threaten to kill you'' Rick repeated

 

 

'' he's got something planned, he's going to kill you, he told me ''

 

 

Negan  turned his head back towards the other end of camp  and back at Rick

 

 

'' he told you ?? .....he's drunk off his fucking ass  Rick, he wouldn't have a fucking clue what he's doing, let alone what he's saying '' Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

'' He knew what he was saying Negan, just like he knew what he was saying when he admitted he deliberately killed Boots '' He yelled

 

 

Negan sighed loudly

 

 

'' For fucks sake Rick will you drop it '' he yelled

 

 

Rick blinked at him, holstering his hatchet

 

 

'' Why won't you believe me ?? '' He yelled

 

 

'' Have you taken any more opium  ?? '' Negan eyed him

 

 

Rick's stomach literally flipped upside down

 

 

''what ??  '' he snapped

 

 

" Have you taken any more opium tonight ?? apart from when I saw you in the tent before supper  '' he repeated like Rick hadn't heard his accusations

 

 

''what the fuck has that go to do with anything right now ?? ''

 

 

'' have you ?? '' Negan glared at him

 

 

'' no '' he bellowed 

 

 

" Rick please dont lie to me "

 

 

''im not fucking lying to you, do I look fucking high to you ?  I'm fully fucking coherent '' he yelled 

 

 

''I dont know Rick, why else would you be so fucking adamant he killed Boots, Dwight was in the field with him at the time, it was an accident ''

 

 

'' they were fucking close range shots from a fucking shotgun Negan ...what ?? you dont think I know what that looks like ? , I was in the fucking American Civil War, I know what shotgun wounds  can do to a body '' Rick  spat

 

 

'' it wasn't a body though Rick, it was a horse, bit of a fucking big  difference"

 

 

"Are you saying I'm making it up ?? I'm fucking delusional ??  "

 

 

"No, but it is  dark Rick, you could have been mistaken about the wound "

 

 

''That fuck just killed my horse, admitting it, threatened to kill you and you dont believe a fucking word im saying'' he yelled, feeling hurt

 

 

'' It's your word against  his though Rick, you were the only one here when he admitted either of those things "

 

 

Rick was speechless..what was he on fucking trial here ?? 

 

 

"  so you believe him over me is that It ?? Why the fuck would I make it up ??  "

 

 

" well you two have  been at each other's throats since you arrived  ''

 

 

'' Maybe because he tried to fucking kill me "

 

 

Negan was silent, the expression on his face was that of  boredom like he didnt want to hear any more shit from Rick ..and Rick didnt want to talk about something that just wasn't sinking into his fucking head

 

 

''Well at least I know where I stand now when it comes to you and your precious fucking Saviors " he spat and stormed off to his tent, he needed some opium NOW!!

 

 

 

"where are you going ?? '' Negan yelled out behind him

 

 

Rick pushed the tent flaps inwards and went over to the crate, striking a match, lighting the oil lamp, making the tent brighten somewhat dimly

 

 

Rick sat down on the cot and  grabbed the opium from  his bag his hand violently shaking  and poured several into his hand, he knew he shouldn't have more than 5 but his head was about to fucking explode and he tipped some more onto  his palm, swallowing around 8 with his canteen of water, feeling physically sick

 

 

''yeah that's the fucking answer, down some more opium '' Negan sighed beside him

 

 

Rick closed his eyes, hanging his head between his shoulder, wishing the man would just fuck off

 

 

Negan was silent

 

 

''Look im sorry Rick,im sorry that happened to Boots, he was a good horse..but I ...''

 

 

" Just shut the fuck up will you  '' Rick spat, his eyes still closed tightly as his head pounded from Negan's voice

 

 

''' What ? ''  Negan  spat 

 

 

'' This is all your fault ''  Rick whispered, feeling sick

 

 

'' what ??  how the fuck is  any of this  my fucking fault ?? '' Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

" you..and your fucking saviors '' he spat with distaste on his tongue, raising his head 

 

 

'' I wanted to leave, but No !! you made me stay here, if I had left when I wanted to that son of a bitch wouldn't have  killed my horse '' he glared up at Negan angrily

 

 

'' For fucks sake Rick, it was an accident.....yeh Simon shouldn't have been in possession of a weapon when he was that drunk, but he was protecting the camp  '' Negan yelled

 

 

'' If you believe that, then you're more of a weak  minded fool than I first thought you were, you call these assholes your fucking family ??  '' Rick spat, not meaning a word he was saying, he was just so fucking angry 

 

 

" Watch your fucking mouth Rick '' Negan stepped toward him, eyes filled with malice

 

 

Rick turned his hand over, looking at his bloody knuckles that were already bandgaed from  his previous altercation with the Cave wall

 

 

He clentched his hand into a fist and rummaged through his saddle bag looking for a shirt  to wrap it in

 

 

" He killed Boots, he threatened you, he's going to kill you just like in my dream   ?? '' he spat, as he wrapped a shirt around his hand

 

 

 

-at least ot wouldn't need stitches he thought-

 

 

He heard Negan sigh loudly

 

 

''it was just a dream, Rick.....is that what this is all about ?? that fucking dream ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

''Oh my fucking god Negan '' Rick yelled

 

 

''it's about you not fucking believing a word I say,im not fucking high or drunk,I  know he killed boots intentionally, and he threatened to kill you, he's planning something'' he yelled

 

 

Negan pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing

 

 

''Look im sorry about Boots I really am baby, but it can't be changed now '' he said like it really didnt matter

 

 

'' he took him away from me, he took the last fucking connection I had to  Carl  away and you're acting like it's just a dumb fucking animal'' Rick yelled, looking  wide eyed up at the man 

 

 

Negan's face softened as he had  finally connected the dots as to why Rick was so upset

 

 

 

" Rick, baby,im so  sorry I didnt fucking think '' he furrowed his brows and  knelt down in front of him

 

 

Rick  narrowed his eyes at the man and suddenly saw images of him fawning all over Frankie as if he only  just remembered that part of the night

 

 

'' You never fucking think about me though  do you ?? '' he spat

 

 

" what  in the fucks supposed to mean, I fucking love you Rick '' Negan furrowed his brows, looking hurt

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched

 

 

'' like you love Frankie ?? '' he snapped, spitefully

 

 

" what ? " Negan looked like he'd been slapped in the face and stood up

 

 

Rick eyed him

 

 

" what the fuck  did she say to you  ?? '' he spat, his jaw clenching

 

 

'' Oh, she  was more than happy to tell  me about the time you took her  to the farm, told her about Lucille, told her she was the first person  you had brought there since her death...fucked her in the same bed'' He curled his lip up, feeling so incredibly used 

 

 

''That's not what fucking happened  '' Negan furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' What was I ever thinking getting involved with you ??  '' he looked the man up and down in disgust

 

 

 

'' Dont Rick '' Negan shook his head, a warning tone to his voice

 

 

'' When you took me out to the farm, told me about Lucille, Jesus .... I felt so important, important enough  that you opened up to me  about her, but it turns out you're just telling anyone you take out there  ''

 

 

''I dont just take anyone out there  Rick'' He  yelled

 

 

'' So she's lying,is she ??   " he folded his arms across his chest 

 

 

Negan averted his eyes to the tent floor 

 

 

" Is she ?? '' he yelled

 

 

"No....but it wasn't like that '' he looked at Rick, furrowing his brows

 

 

 

'' It's you and only you that fucking matters to me, not some kid with a crush, you gotta know that Rick ...come on '' he scoffed

 

 

 

'' It  didnt look like I fucking mattered too much  to you  out there, sticking your fucking tongue down her fucking throat, trying to make me fucking jealous '' he pointed angrily to the tent opening

 

 

Negans face twisted

 

 

"thats not what I was trying to do Rick, she fucking threw herself at me, honey ''

 

 

''yeah it looked like you were really hating every minute " he snapped 

 

 

'' just fucking  Leave Negan  " he whispered and lay down on the cot, curling in on himself, his back to the taller man

 

 

the opium was finally taking effect, he felt his nerves calming, his migraine fading, he was tired and felt at peace

 

 

"Rick ..Frankie means nothing to me ''

 

 

''Just fuck off "' he yelled, closing his eyes

 

 

Negan was silent and Rick could still feel his presence behind him

 

 

he turned his head around angrily 

 

 

" I SAID FUCK OFF  '' he bellowed, eyes narrowed

 

 

The man looked hurt and rejected but Rick didnt give a fuck right now, he lied to him about Frankie, he didnt want to hear him out about Boots being deliberately killed or his dream or Simon's threats against his life..he was tired and fucking over arguing

 

 

Negan's jaw clenched and he turned to leave stopping just before the tent opening

 

 

"I'll see you in the morning,yeh ?? '' he questioned like he was assuming Rick would take off without him

 

 

Rick was silent, closing his eyes as he heard the tent flaps rustle when the man left 

 

 

 

Chapter 47

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The  loud gunshots, the horrific  wailing noise of the beast  that followed, and the sheer terror in the animal's eyes  had Rick flying upright in his cot, covered in sweat

 

 

his chest was heaving  as his eyes darted around the dark tent

 

 

he swung his legs over the cot and ran a hand over his hot, sweaty face

 

 

 Although he had taken more opium than he should have to send him into a deep sleep, he remembered the previous events very clearly

 

 

Boots his beautiful friend was dead and Negan didnt give two fucks,didnt want to listen when Rick  said Simon had done it intentionally

 

 

the man's solum face when Rick tried to tell him, it was the face  of utter boredom 

 

 

He  felt a strange sensation  around his waist and looked down, realizing  he was still wearing his  holster, the hatchet still sitting in its place, like it belonged there

 

 

He ran the argument with Negan around in his mind once more and  stood up, feeling fucking angry and utterly betrayed

 

 

why the fuck should he have to wait until morning for Negan to travel back to Black River with him ?? he didnt have a  horse anymore, so why wait ?? he could just walk, it may take a good while longer, but he refused to  stay in this fucking  camp another minute  longer 

 

 

he put his satchel bag across his torso and shouldered his saddle  bag, pushing his hat down on his head, as far as it would go, taking one quick glance around the dark tent before he turned his back on it and walked outside

 

 

Once again he was very  happy  Negan had put him in the tent at the far end of camp, so his absence wouldn't be noticed until well after  sunrise

 

 

he took a few steps and stilled, his back  turned to the inner camp

 

 

what about Carol, Daryl, Sherry, Dwight, Joey ?? they were all so nice to him, he would be an asshole to just sneak off and not say anything to them, thank them

 

 

But it was still dark, they would most surely be asleep and he wanted nothing more than to leave right now, not wanting to risk running into Negan and looking into his eyes, having the same fucking argument that didnt end any different 

 

 

he sighed and continued to walk towards  the edge of the camp

 

 

it would be a long journey without a horse, but he wasn't about to take one of the savior's horses, it would be like stealing and he was no fucking robbing scum, like these people ......besides he couldn't...Boots hadn't  even been dead 24 hours yet

 

 

he walked with just the light of the full moon to guide him..it was cold, as a chill in the air made him fold his arms across his body..why didnt he pack his jacket ??

 

 

he came to a large boulder, stopping for a minute and looking back at the scattered tents of the camp  he had called home for the last few weeks

 

 

He felt a strange twinge in his gut like he shouldn't be running off like this, he felt bad for leaving like this and not telling Negan...he loved the son of a bitch, despite everything that had happened, but he was  fucking angry  

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath and his lip curled up, thinking of the man kissing Frankie and he turned around, continuing past the boulder

 

 

''Pretty dangerous  out here at night with no weapon Sheriff '' Daryl's husky voice made Rick stop in his tracks

 

 

he turned around wide eyed as the younger Dixon  brother stepped out from behind the large boulder, a  shotgun in his hands, his horse tied up to a tree just off to the side 

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked down to the man's weapon, slightly worried

 

 

was he following him and about to drag him back to camp ???

 

 

''You looking to take me back ?? '' Rick eyed the gun in his hands

 

 

Daryl's lip twitched and a small smirk appeared  on his face

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, he'd never actually seen the man smile and was  slightly hesitant as to why he was now 

 

 

''Nah, I ain't no  babysitter '' he scoffed 

 

 

'' My turn on watch tonight,this is the edge of our camp  '' he eyed the darkness that was ahead  of Rick

 

 

''you sure you want to be walking out there alone.. armed with just that  ?? '' he eyed Rick's waist

 

 

''I'll be fine '' Rick smiled weakly

 

 

''it's still Negan's territory out there for a good few miles, but that dont mean that sneaky fuck Shane ain't hiding in the mountains, just waiting to pick someone off, like you  '' he looked at Rick, concerned 

 

 

Rick felt a niggle of irritation that both Shane and Negan were mentioned in the same sentence and he desperately wanted to change the subject

 

 

 

''Hey, I'm sorry about Merle.....''  Rick mumbled,  rubbing  the back of his neck

 

 

'' I  mean we were never what you would call friends.... he was an asshole...... but I never  asked Negan to kick him out, I swear '' Rick furrowed his  brows 

 

 

Daryl stared out into the darkness, his eyes narrowed 

 

 

"I know " he mumbled

 

 

"  his behavior is what got him kicked out '' he shrugged like he didnt care, but his face said otherwise

 

 

'' He's still your brother, your blood...''

 

 

''ain't no one here related by blood, they are still  me   family '' he glanced at Rick

 

 

Rick smiled, he was  a very level headed  man  for being a Dixon 

 

 

'' yeh I guess you're right '' he smiled at the ground, kicking the dirt with his boot

 

 

'' He always was a fucking hot head, even as kids ..never thought about the shit coming out of his mouth until it was too late '' he scoffed

 

 

'' And I was forever there defending him, even when he was a fucking moron.....guess things never changed  '' he mumbled

 

 

 

'' I used to think  people could change, guess  I was wrong '' he said softly

 

 

A silence fell among the two men for a few minutes

 

 

'' Sorry about your horse man''  Daryl  whispered

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the  dirt, anger boiling in his guts once again

 

 

''Simon's a real piece of shit '' he spat

 

 

Rick glanced  up at him

 

 

''I've always had a bad feeling about him, I dunno..... something about him just  never sat right with me'' he furrowed his brows

 

 

Rick eyed him

 

 

''look maybe you can get through to Negan...Simon is planning something, I don't know what, but he said he was  going to kill him..just..just keep an eye out for him yeh "

 

 

Daryl simply  nodded, avoiding Rick's eyes

 

 

''What ?? you believe me ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

'' Didnt say that, but I trust you more than I do Simon '' he mumbled

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

''Thank you Daryl '' he put a hand on his shoulder and the man flinched slightly

 

 

Rick frowned and removed his hand

 

 

'' Can you say goodbye to Carol, Sherry, Dwight, and Joey for me...I'm pretty  certain I won't ever come back here '' he glanced  over Daryl's shoulder towards the camp 

 

 

''and Negan ?? " Daryl glanced at him

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

'' what about him ?? '' he spat

 

 

''Well I think he'll notice your missing man '' Daryl smiled weakly

 

 

Rick jaw twitched

 

 

'' Doesn't matter   " he shrugged

 

 

Daryl looked at him strangely

 

 

''Look, I'd better get going '' he smiled  and held out his hand

 

 

Daryl looked at it for a second, hesitant, and took Rick's in his, firmly

 

 

'' Was a pleasure Daryl '' he smiled genuinely

 

 

Daryl averted his eyes, removing his hand from Rick's

 

 

''take my horse'' he said abruptly

 

 

" what ?? '' Rick said wide eyed

 

 

'' No I can't " he said shocked at the man's kind gesture

 

 

'' I'm not gonna tell anyone you stole it, I'm giving him to you, if you intend on walking back to Black River,youll be a fucking old man by the time you get there '' 

 

 

'' No I can't '' Rick shook his head

 

 

'' I won't take no for an answer   '' he turned and untied his horse from the tree, leading him over to Rick

 

 

Rick looked at him blankly

 

 

''I know where to find you when I want him back '' he looked at Rick's strange expression

 

 

''Why are you doing this for me ?? '' Rick   questioned, confused

 

 

Daryl looked slightly offended and handed him the reins

 

 

'' Cause us saviors..we ain't all complete assholes Rick '' he eyed him

 

 

Rick averted his eyes

 

 

'' Thank you '' he glanced back at the man

 

 

'' Go on,get outta here before I change my mind " he ran a hand down the horse's nose tenderly

 

 

'' ill take good care of him'' He smiled and climbed up into the saddle

 

 

'' what's his name   ?? '' Rick glanced down at him, adjusting his bags

 

 

'' Horse '' he said matter of factly

 

 

'' Horse '' Rick raised an eyebrow

 

 

''What ? you got a better name  ?? '' he folded his  arms across his chest

 

 

Rick laughed

 

 

'' No, no I guess I don't '' he smiled

 

 

'' here '' He handed him  his shotgun

 

 

'' what..no '' Rick looked utterly surprised

 

 

'' take it Rick'' he said,stern-faced

 

 

" Shane could be out there '' he narrowed his  eyes

 

 

''what about you ?? '' he eyed him

 

 

he pulled a colt Paterson revolver  out from behind his back, smiling

 

 

Rick eyed him and took the shotgun, placing it in the saddle .....the ride  would be far  less stressful now  having a powerful weapon in his grasp, rather than a simple hatchet

 

 

'' thanks '' he said smiling

 

 

''go '' he  gruffed out 

 

 

Rick pulled on the reins making ' horse' turn around, away from the savior camp, facing  the darkness

 

 

he glanced back a Daryl, who smiled up at him

 

 

'' Take care of him  '' he said, looking at his horse, fondly

 

 

'' I will, I promise  '' he smiled, as he squeezed his thighs together making the horse start to trot

 

 

They rode  all night  without incident and as the sun was beginning to rise, he pulled on ' horse's ' reins, stopping just where that all too familiar sign  hung from two rusty hooks

 

 

''Black River welcomes you ''

 

 

It felt like a life time ago that he laid eyes on the sign

 

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched, just over 6 months ago  he had  left this town, for  6 months he hunted  Shane before he found him, cutting his face open, Then he was stuck  at the savior camp for around 2 weeks

 

 

 

 he flicked the reins, making ' horse ' start walking  into  town that held so many bad memories, but so many good ones too

 

 

He went straight to the cottage farmhouse that lay on the very outskirts of town, where Anette, Beth, and Maggie all wrapped their arms around him, crying and  squeezing him tightly like they never wanted him to let him go ever again

 

 

He told them everything, every detail from when Shane attacked him to when a group of kindly strangers saved him, not revealing it was the saviors..the saviors that every surrounding community were afraid of, the saviors who were nothing more than murdering, stealing outlaw scum to everyone that didnt know them, know them as Rick did

 

 

That morning He sat down to his first family breakfast  in months, smiling at the women's warm, happy faces, laughing  and feeling truly loved 

 

 

He finally felt at home once again

 

 

Rick  let Anette take the  stitches out of his throat, using  her small sewing scissors, he  was  far more relaxed than he was with Carol and her huge fucking knife

 

 

she soaked his knuckles and put some ointment on them, leaving them bandage-free, all the while praising the person who wrapped them and stitched his face, for their outstanding  professional work

 

 

after breakfast, although tired from traveling all night, he decided to go into town and see how jerry was coping, he had been gone  6 whole months after all 

 

 

He rode 'horse' into town, as the townsfolk stopped in the street, looking up at him like they'd seen  a ghost

 

 

He remembered Negan telling  him he overheard some of the folk   discussing him in the saloon, thinking their new sheriff had  simply run off after Hershel's murder..getting jacked up or had  even harmed  himself, that he'd lost his mind

 

 

They had every right to think that, he was a mess after Hershel's death, and he simply disappeared leaving his family worried sick, leaving Jerry alone to run the entire town, the townsfolk thinking whatever came to their imaginations 

 

 

he smiled weakly and tipped the end of his hat to them, heading straight for the jail, glancing at the drug store on his way past.... he would need some more opium soon, but not right now 

 

 

He put 'horse' in the back holding area where Jerry's horse currently was  and stood at the back door, hands on his hips, sighing 

 

 

He stepped over the threshold and walked in past the cells, down the hallway, and into the jail

 

 

Jerry's eyes instantly fell on him

 

 

he almost fell off his chair, his eyes wide with shock

 

 

" Rick" he said softly

 

 

Rick smiled weakly

 

 

'' how you going Jerry ? '' he walked toward the man 

 

 

jery flew up off his chair and raced over to him, hugging him tightly, almost squeezing the life out of him

 

 

Rick laughed as Jerry let him go

 

 

"your face '' jerry said, his eyes wide trailing over  Rick's face 

 

 

Rick looked to the floor, furrowing his brows, feeling like a monster

 

 

"Shane found me '' he whispered

 

 

" what ?? ''Jerry said softly

 

 

'' 6  months I was out  there,6 months and I didn't so much as find a fucking crumb... but he found me '' he glanced at Jerry

 

 

Jerry shook his head, not understanding

 

 

" he did this to me..he almost killed me that night, but I was saved ''

 

 

'' by who ?? '' he said wide eyed

 

 

''a group of passing strangers...they chased Shane and his goons off, they saved my life, kept me alive for 2 fucking weeks '' he gritted his teeth thinking about Shane 

 

 

Jerry was silent

 

 

'' Jesus christ Rick, we thought, we all thought you took off to Atlanta or something, we all thought you were dead  '' Jerry looked him up and down wide eyed

 

 

'' yeh I know what you all thought '' he snapped, spitefully thinking about what Negan  had told  him

 

 

jerry looked confused more than usual

 

 

" Anyway, it looks like you've held down the fort in my absence '' he smiled looking around 

 

 

''yeh well, you did kind of leave me in the lurch, I mean after Hershel...'' he paused looking at Rick

 

 

Ricks' face twisted in anger

 

 

''I had to go, Jerry, you know I did  '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

''yeh, no of corse, Rick I didn't mean it like that '' he rubbed the back of his neck

 

 

''He murdered Hershel; I had to hunt him down, he had to be stopped, I couldn't let anyone else die by his hands '' he gritted his teeth 

 

 

Jerry averted his eyes to the floor, silent

 

 

Rick's face softened

 

 

" Hey..... im bloody proud of you '' he smiled 

 

 

Jerry looked up at him, confused

 

 

" for what  ?? ''

 

 

"you've done the job of two men for over 6 months, alone  " he held out his hand to the man 

 

 

jerry looked at it for a moment, stunned, and grinned, taking it in his, firmly

 

 

'' Youll be taking over from me in no time " Rick grinned

 

 

Jerry's  smile faded and he let Rick's hand go like it was suddenly made of fire

 

 

" what do you mean? you aren't leaving again are you ?? '' he sounded panicked

 

 

Rick laughed

 

 

" No,dont worry  Jerry '' he smiled

 

 

Jerry laughed and slapped Rick on the back 

 

 

but deep down he knew he didnt want to be the sheriff, he loved his job, he enjoyed being in law enforcement but there had to be something more to it than simply  guarding a town day after day ?? he wanted to be out on a horse, riding, the fresh air in his lungs and  the sun beating down on his face, he wanted something more than collecting taxes and locking up drunk idiots  for fighting, but he didnt know what, he just knew he wasn't happy sitting in a jail all day, every day 

 

 

 

Everything went back to normal very fast, Rick acquired another gun, a colt 1860 army revolver, the exact same  model as his lost one, but this didnt have the sentimental value his previous one had, having carried it throughout the war, Rick felt a strong connection with it, having saved his life numerous  times

 

 

He still carried the red handle hatchet in his holster and would practice his aiming when he returned to the farmhouse after work, he was getting very accurate

 

 

He would often think about Negan during a boring day at the jail and he was quite surprised the older man hadn't shown his face in town yet..he could imagine him storming around the camp like a bear with a sore head and he smiled to himself, missing the man 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been 5 days since he left the camp,5 days since he had returned to his home, his family

 

 

 

It was hot, fucking hot, as Rick rested his boots up on his desk, crossed at the ankles

 

 

 

Jerry sat at the desk  opposite him

 

 

It had been another dull day in Black River with nothing to occupy them except locking up one  local drunk, Frank, who was  causing trouble and  was now currently sleeping  in the cells

 

 

Rick  could  use a whiskey as he sighed loudly, sweat dripping down the back of his neck

 

 

he could feel  Jerry's eyes boring into him and he glanced over at  him furrowing his brows

 

 

jerry looked away as soon as Rick's eyes landed on him

 

 

"'what is it ??  '' he sighed, running a hand through his curls

 

 

''it's so fucking hot Rick..come on .......nothing's happened all day, I could use a  drink  '' he whined like a small child

 

 

Rick sighed

 

 

'' go on then '' he huffed

 

 

''really ??  '' he said excitably

 

 

'' Yeh, go...I may join you later  '' he smiled weakly, glancing outside, noticing it was almost mid afternoon

 

 

''you're the best Rick'' he grinned, bolting up for his chair and  putting  his hat on 

 

 

''you sure you'll be ok here alone ?? I'm mean what if..... '' he trialed off

 

 

''what ? ?  if old Frank wakes up ? '' he raised his eyebrow

 

 

jerry smirked

 

 

'' I'm sure I can handle him  '' he grinned

 

 

jerry  smiled 

 

 

''ok boss...ill see  you in  there later  '' he tapped the desk with his knuckles and walked out the door

 

 

''yeh..see you  later '' Rick whispered to himself, sighing

 

 

He leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head, wishing he was down at the creek, cooling off

 

 

He glanced up at the clock as the hands ticked painfully slow, the pendulum rocking back and forth making his eyes feel heavy

 

 

He shook his head and went and checked on his prisoner, who was still fast asleep in a drunken stupor, wandering back to his desk, sitting down sighing loudly, bored out of his mind, glancing at the clock once more

 

 

 

About half an hour after Jerry  had left, two men  walked into the jail and Rick sat up straight in his chair

 

 

Rick instantly knew they were bounty hunters 

 

 

one man was in his early 30's, with short wavy brown hair and brown stubble on his face, something in his brown eyes made Rick feel uneasy immediately. He wore a navy blue bandana around his neck, much like Negan wore his, brown shirt and pants, his holster held a colt

 

 


The other man was  in his mid 30's, he  had   long brown straight  hair that was tied up in a ponytail, his rugged face was tanned from the sun, his sharp jawline was hiding behind a lush brown beard, and he wore a dark navy blue  bandana around his neck, exactly like the younger man was

 

 

A satchel bag sat  across his torso, much like Rick's, and  several buttons were undone on his black shirt, making it hang open slightly, showing  small brown hairs on his chest

 

 

His blue eyes were warm and friendly, unlike his companion 

 

 


'' Sheriff Girmes'' the handsome man tipped his hat

 

 

'' How can I help you gentlemen ? '' he eyed the two men

 

 

they glanced at each other

 

 

'' I'm  Paul, Paul Monroe '' he held out his gloved hand, smiling warmly

 

 

his eyes were not a crystal clear  sharp blue like Rick's but they were just as mesmerizing and he seemed to get lost in them for a moment before blinking dumbly, standing up and taking the man's hand in his 

 

 

"  and this is my  partner Spencer Monroe '' he waved to the man on his left

 

 

Rick eyed them, connecting their last names 

 

 

'' brothers ? ''

 

 

'' oh he's a sharp one  '' Spencer said sarcastically, glaring at Paul

 

 

Rick eyed him...... he didnt like this  asshole already

 

 


'' you bounty hunters ? '' he narrowed his  eyes at the younger man 

 

 

 

''Are we that obvious ?? '' Paul smiled, small lines made creases in the corners of his eyes 

 

 

Rick was slightly stunned by the  beautiful man

 

 

''no..... I guess .... one lawman can tell another lawman " he shrugged

 

 

Spencer scoffed, as Rick's eyes flashed to him

 

 

''We are bounty hunters, you are a sheriff, we are nothing alike '' his lip curled up

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at him

 

 

Paul coughed in his hand, uncomfortably

 

 

''anyway Rick we came in here  to introduce ourselves, you see we will be here for a few days and its only good manners to let the  town's sheriff know  ''

 

 

Rick liked paul's polite mannerisms, it was hard to find these days

 

 

''Well I appreciate that  gentlemen, what  brings you two to Black river, I mean there ain't no  outlaws here ....well none that I'm aware  of '' he chuckled

 

 

Paul smiled

 

 

'' No we, we actually came here specifically for you ''

 

 

''me '' Rick furrowed his brows, glancing at Spencer

 

 

 

''We need your help, Rick ''

 

 

'' My help...'' he scoffed

 

 

 

''I wouldn't  have thought two bounty hunters would  need any assistance from  a small town sheriff '' he smiled 

 

 

 

''we dont '' Spencer snapped, glaring at Paul

 

 

 

'' Do you have a problem ??  '' Rick spat at him

 

 

 

'' No, he doesn't ''  Paul glared at Spencer

 

 

 

''What is this about gentlemen ??  '' he looked at Paul, ignoring spencer

 

 

 

''Shane Walsh '' he said flatly

 

 


Rick's heart immediately began to pound in his chest and he felt sick, a large lump in his throat making  it difficult to swallow

 

 


He glared up at Paul

 

 


" yeh I know this piece of shit '' he spat

 

 

"well we are here to ask your help in catching him " Paul smiled

 

 

Rick felt like time had stopped for a fleeting second and he furrowed his brows

 

 

''what ?? '' Rick spat in disgust 

 

 

 

''May I ? '' he motioned for the two seats in front of Rick's desk

 

 

 

Rick simply nodded

 

 

 

Paul sat down removing his hat, as Spencer began to wander around the jail eyeing everything

 

 

''we've been hunting this man for 2 years now, of corse we've had other bounties we've been taking care of in that time, but whenever we hear of anything to do with Shane Walsh  we immediately follow the lead ''

 

 

''yeh well the man's a fucking ghost, trust me, I've been hunting him  for  years, the first time I saw him..he ... ...'' he chocked on his words and looked down at his desk

 

 

''I escaped with my life.... but  my wife and children weren't so fortunate   '' he glanced up at Paul

 

 

Paul looked at him, his eyes filled with pure concern and sympathy 

 

 

''look we know you are a busy man Rick, I mean, most sheriffs are......  ...''

 

 

he was cut off by Spencer scoffing, standing behind him

 

 

'' Most sheriffs sit on their fat asses at their  desks, much like this one, and take credit for the fucking had work we do " he glared at Paul

 

 

Rick's patience  was wearing thin with this asshole

 

 

'' we heard you had dealings with the man and thought maybe..'' he trailed off

 

 

'' maybe you could give us some information ??  Spencer spat

 

 

''like what ? ''

 

 

'' well, where you lost his trail for one '' spencer spat

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

''I did lose nothing, the  fuck found me  and   cut half my fucking face off  '' Rick spat

 

 

Spencer glanced down at his scar and his lazy eyes flicked back up to Rick's

 

 

''but he didnt kill you '' he said like  he was accusing Rick of something

 

 

''you got something to say ??''

 

 

''no he doesn't '' Paul stood up

 

 

''oh im just curious as to how you are the only know man in the state to know what Shane Walsh looks like and has lived to tell the tale, what twice now ??  '' he said like a smug fuck

 

 

Rick stood up, hand on his holster

 

 

''ok...ok ...enough '' Paul raised his voice 

 

 

''I apologize, Rick, we've taken up enough of your time, I can see you're a very busy man......we are staying in the hotel above the saloon....maybe I can buy you a drink tonight '' he looked Rick up and down and Rick's stomach twisted

 

 

'' Spencer WON"T be joining us '' he glared at his brother who turned toward the street, like a sulking child

 

 

Rick glanced  back at Paul, feeling flustered

 

 

'' umm yeh, yeh sure '' he stammered, glancing at the clock 

 

 

'' im actually going over there in about an  hour to join my deputy'' he smiled

 

 

Paul looked around the jail 

 

 

'' he's having a drink at the saloon this early in the afternoon ?? shouldn't he be here  ? '' he raised his eyebrow

 

 

Spencer scoffed once more

 

 

''  I gave him the afternoon off, we are a pretty quiet town  '' he  smiled weakly,glaring at Spencer's back

 

 

Paul smiled genuinely

 

 

'' Good call, it is a scorcher out there today '' he smiled

 

 

Rick felt butterflies in his stomach..what the fuck was happening ?

 

 

''well thank you for your time  sheriff Grimes, I'll be sure to see you later   '' he extended his hand over the desk 

 

 

Rick  looked at it for a second, before   taking it firmly in his, looking into his eyes 

 

 

he got lost in them again for the second time that day and his stomach flipped like a school girl with a crush

 

 

Paul didnt seem to pull his hand away either, as they stared  at each other from across the desk

 

 

Spencer cleared his throat loudly and the two men  blinked stupidly, Paul taking his hand away first, looking at his brother, angrily

 

 

Rick cleared his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed he was acting like a love struck idiot

 

 

Paul turned back to him, putting his hat back on

 

 

''See you later  Rick '' he smiled, leaving the jail

 

 

Spencer glared at Rick as he left before they both disappeared out of Rick's sight 

 

 

Rick flopped back down into his chair, running a hand through his curls, feeling somewhat excited to see the man later tonight

 

 

Notes:

I'm so VERY excited to introduce Jesus to this fic and see what develops between him and Rick ...

who hates Spencer already ??? 🙋♀️🙋♀️

Chapter 48

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick hadn't had butterflies in his stomach for a long time and he kept an eagle eye on the clock on the wall

 

 

As soon as the hands reached 6 pm he flew up off his chair and practically raced down to the cells

 

 

Frank was still asleep, snoring loudly as Rick unlocked the cell door

 

 

he walked in and kicked the legs of the cot roughly, rousing the man 

 

 

''get up Frank this ain't no fucking hotel '' he spat, kicking the cot again with his boot

 

 

 

the man stirred  and sat up, groaning, his head in his hands

 

 

''come on, time to leave '' he spat and left the cell, leaving the door open and went to the small wash area in the  back, where a mirror hung over  a sink

 

 

He splashed his face with water, running a wet hand over his curl, glancing at himself in the mirror, furrowing his brows

 

 

he adjusted his curls so they hung over the  scar on his forehead

 

 

he noticed Frank staggering out of the cells in the mirror behind him and he sighed

 

 

he turned around and pushed him by his back down the  hallway, rushing the man

 

 

"'maybe next time you won't get so fucking wasted huh Frank '' he smirked at the man, who groaned

 

 

 

'' Hey Rick  '' Daryl's voice startled the man

 

 

 

"Daryl '' he said, surprised to see the man standing by his desk 

 

 

 

He patted Frank on the back as he shuffled past Daryl

 

 

 

''go sleep it off at home Frank ......and I better not  see you in that saloon, you hear me ??  '' he called after the man as he stumbled out of the jail

 

 

 

'' You here to collect Horse ??  '' Rick glanced at Daryl as he rummaged around in his desk looking for some aftershave he had in there....he actually never knew why he kept it in there, but right now he was happy he did 

 

 

he was on edge with excitement to be having a drink with a man he had met not even an hour ago

 

 

'' he's been a really good boy, he ... '' he looked up at the man, who looked more uncomfortable  than usual

 

 

 

''what's wrong ??  '' he furrowing his brows

 

 

 

''  I didnt come into town alone   '' he rubbed the back of his neck

 

 

 

 Rick instantly felt nervous and His heart skipped a beat, Negan was in town

 

 

 

" Where is he  ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

 

'' They are over at the saloon ''  he frowned

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose, and glared at Daryl

 

 

 

'' wait..what do you mean they ?? '' Rick eyed Daryl

 

 

"Dwight, Simon, and some others tagged along  '' he averted his eyes 

 

 

 

'' Fuck "' Rick raised his voice, angrily

 

 


'' look, I just came to get horse and my....'' he trailed off

 

 

 

'' Your shotgun " Rick finished his sentence

 

 

 

Daryl nodded, his hair falling into his eyes

 

 

 

Rick stood up and walked down to the back of the cells, his mind ticking over about Negan and his men currently getting drunk in the saloon and the shit they would no doubt cause.....he would need  Jerry, who he sent to the saloon to get drunk earlier  on top of  his game 

 

 

 

he pulled Daryl's gun from the cupboard and  walked back into the jail, handing it to him

 

 

 

he smiled weakly as Rick sat back down in his chair

 

 

 

''Horse is out back, he's been on his best behavior '' he looked up at Daryl

 

 

 

Daryl looked at him

 

 

 

''I'm sorry man, it's not like I can tell Negan  and the others they can't come into town''  Daryl avoided looking at him

 

 

 

Rick's face softened

 

 

 


'' dont worry about it, I can handle Negan and Simon ....... but I hope I can  count on you and Dwight to keep the peace if they do start anything  '' he ducked his eyes to meet Daryl's, smiling

 

 

 

he looked at Rick through his shaggy hair and smiled weakly

 

 

 

"yeh, sure Rick '' 

 

 

Daryl stilled at the front of his desk and Rick glanced up at him

 

 

" what  ? '' he sighed

 

 

"Ummm, we .... we gave Boots a good burial '' he whispered

 

 

Rick's mouth twitched, feeling sudden guilt that he never even thought about what would happen to his friend after he left and his face fell

 

 

''We treated him real good Rick, Sophia made  him a headstone with   a piece of wood I found and laid flowers on it for him '' he smiled weakly

 

 

Rick smiled at the girl's sweet gesture

 

 

''That's nice, real nice ''he smiled up at Daryl

 

 

''Simon had the task of digging the hole....he was whinging the entire time like a fucking asshole " he scoffed

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to him

 

 

"Simon.....why the fuck would he help, he's the bastard who  killed him " he spat

 

 

'' Negan made him '' Daryl shrugged

 

 

Rick averted his eyes

 

 

'' Ummm, I suppose you haven't seen that asshole Merle around town have ya ?? '' he glanced at Rick

 

 

Rick glanced at him, knowing the man missed his brother, but wouldn't admit it

 

 

''No, I haven't actually "' he only just realized the man hadn't been hanging around, being a fucking pest like he usually was 

 

 

Daryl nodded, averting his eyes

 

 

Rick's face softened

 

 

''I'm sure he's fine Daryl, he knows how to take care of himself '' he smiled 

 

 

'' yeh, yeh I know'' he trailed off

 

 

" look, I'd better go, ill see you later '' he smiled weakly

 

 

 

" yeh, sure '' Rick glanced at  the younger Dixon brother  as he turned, leaving the jail

 

 

 

Rick leaned back in his chair, his anxiety beginning to creep up into his chest, he knew Negan would eventually show up, but he wasn't expecting him to bring Simon of all people with him  !!

 

 

 

He knew the two had fucking bad blood, he knew he would get drunk and cause a scene

 

 

 

was he was deliberately trying to entice a reaction out of him ??

 

 

 

He had already rubbed Frankie in his face, and blatantly lied to him about taking anyone to the farm, he defended Simon when Rick said he killed boots and threatened his life, it was like he was loyal to the man even though he  was a sneaky fucking lying snake

 

 

he sighed loudly running a hand through his curls

 

 

he pulled open his drawer and put some aftershave on his neck....if Negan was there, he would just ignore him, he didnt deserve anything else from Rick right now 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rick  inhaled a deep breath standing at the closed double doors of the rowdy saloon, listening to the loud chatter and piano music playing inside 

 

 

 

His heart was racing as he pushed the doors open, his eyes scanning   the crowded bar for Negan and his saviors

 

 

 

He hadn't even taken two steps inside when ...

 

 

 

'' Sheriff '' Simon's obnoxiously loud   voice hollered from across the room, drawing  his attention to a table in the very back 

 

 

 

'' we've been  waiting for you " he yelled, his voice being somewhat drowned out by the loud chatter in the bar

 

 


Rick glared at the man, his eyes flicking over to Daryl, Dwight, and two other saviors he recognized from camp 

 

 

 

Negan sat with a sly  smirk spread across his face, and  Rick wanted nothing more than to smack it off the cocky bastard

 

 

 

" come join us '' Simon smirked, waving his hand, beckoning Rick  over

 

 

 

'over my dead body ' Rick thought to himself and flicked his eyes to the front, noticing   Jerry who sat at the bar with Mary, one of the saloon's most popular whores in his lap

 

 

 

He walked up to the bar and patted  him on the back, as he turned his head 

 

 

"Rick you made it....... you know Mary '' he motioned to the whore on his left

 

 

Rick smiled

 

 

"yeh, we all know Mary '' he smiled at her as she winked at him, smiling 

 

 

Gregory the saloon owner  came  up to him, smiling 

 

 

" Rick'' he smiled

 

 

'' Just the usual please Gregory  '' he smiled at him weakly, taking his hat off and placing it on the bar

 

 

'' A whiskey coming straight up  '' he smiled and turned around pouring Rick a glass of whiskey, putting it down in front of him, walking away

 

 

He sipped his whiskey  as his  eyes  flicked up to  the mirrored glass shelves that hung behind the bar, where several bottles of alcohol sat, trying to get a good look over at Negan's table, without actually turning around and making it obvious he was watching them

 

 

But he couldn't quite see them 

 

 

A sudden slap on the back made him spit out some of the whiskey, onto his arm resting on the bar

 

 

"  Ricky ''  Simon's sleazy voice, made his skin crawl and he closed his eyes, sighing loudly

 

 

''Now why didnt you come over and join us, Sheriff  ?? ''  he leered in his ear

 

 

Rick   smelt the gin practically radiating off  the man 

 

 

'' Cause I'd rather eat horse shit than share a drink with you Simon  "  he spat with venom, staring straight ahead

 

 

Simon was silent for a moment, his mustache twitching, and scoffed

 

 

" Gregory my good man  '' he banged his fist down on the bar, getting the man's attention

 

 

'' Simon, what can I get for you, my good Sir  ??  ''   Gregory grinned, walking over 

 

 

' Good sir ' Rick's eyes flashed up to Gregory over his glass, why was he talking like a  jerk ?? 

 

 

 

"  Another  2 bottles of bourbon,  my fine man ''  he grinned  

 

 

 

Gregory nodded and turned around grabbing two full bottles of bourbon from the shelves

 

 

 

'' here you go '' Gregory smiled, placing them down on the bar

 

 

 

Simon threw several silver coins on the counter and Rick's eyes flicked down to them

 

 

 

it was more money than  necessary,  and there was no doubt in Rick's mind it was stolen in a robbery

 

 

 

Rick's jaw clenched in irritation, he was rubbing it right in Rick's fucking face

 

 

 

Gregory's eyes lit up like lit explosives 

 

 

 

'' that's most gracious of you, thank you '' he grinned 

 

 

 

'' Now, is there  anything else I can get for you  ??  " he eyed the money, falling  all over Simon  

 

 

 

It was obvious the man had  been throwing  money at the barman half the night

 

 

 

'' I'm sure I'll let you know '' Simon  grinned, so fakely it made Rick's blood boil

 

 

 

Gregory smiled and  scurried away,  guarding his new shiny coins like a crazy old prospector

 

 

 

'' You see Rick, money is what matters around here, not a fucking badge '' he scoffed

 

 

 

''I wonder if he'd still be crawling up your ass if he knew that money was acquired  from a robbery '' Rick spat

 

 

 

Simon looked like he'd been hit in the face with a brick

 

 

 

'' you see people around here are hard working folk, they dont appreciate scum like you coming in here throwing  money around that  you stole from other communities '' he glared at him

 

 

 

Simon's face twisted, and his eyes turned dark

 

 

 

" What are you getting at sheriff ??  Negan ain't sticking it to you anymore so you looking at  dobbing  us in ?? is that it ?? cause  you're the only one that knows what we look like, I mean our true identities, where our camp is "

 

 

he leaned in closer to Rick

 

 

"I dunno Ricky that's a lot of information, more than I'm comfortable with you knowing.....''

 

 

'' I mean if I was the leader of the saviors, knowing  a dirty lawman who had revenge on his mind was carrying that kind of information around, fucking valuable information, I'd be a little  worried, very fucking worried ''

 

 

 

'' I'd never expose Negan  '' he spat

 

 

 

''no maybe not Negan, but the rest of us....In particular me ...... I know I'd go to any lengths to keep that quiet, to protect the saviors, as a real leader should...I mean you never know what id be capable of  doing to make sure my people were safe '' he spat

 

 


'' but they ain't your people are they Simon   ?? '' he glared at him

 

 

Simon smirked and stood up straight

 

 

'' Maybe not now, but one day, one day I will be the leader of the saviors and I won't be fucking going lenient on you or this fucking town, as Negan has done '' he spat

 

 

''You'll never be the leader of the saviors, Negan would never let that happen '' he spat

 

 

"' well Ricky who said he will have a say in the matter ??  '' he smirked

 

 

''Does Negan know you're  staging a mutiny ?? '' he glared at Simon

 

 

Simon furrowed his  brows and laughed out loud

 

 

'' He's too busy burying his cock  up your ass to notice what any of his men are doing, he's a weak leader Rick ''

 

 

 

Rick felt rage burning in his gut

 

 

''  I'm gonna make sure the saviors have a leader  worthy of them, worthy of the savior's name for many years to come, bring fear into communities like it we did  when Shane was the leader '' he grinned 

 

 

''They'd never follow you, your not even half the man  Negan is '' he looked him up and down in disgust

 

 

simons  lip curled up

 

 

'' You're nothing  but a disgusting excuse for a human being, a piece of shit that deserves nothing more than his neck in  a noose'' he spat

 

 

Simon was seething and he leaned in whispering in Rick's ear

 

 


''  After you crept away in the night like the  fucking coward you really are Prick, I had the fucking filthy job of burying your fucking stupid horse...he never saw it coming when I shot him....but you will, I'll have you on your fucking  knees ''  he spat, gritting  his teeth   

 

 

 In the time it took to blink, Rick grabbed his gun for his holster, grabbed Simon by the back of  his shirt collar, slammed his head down on the hard bar counter, and pressed his gun to the back of his head, leaning over him, gritting his teeth

 

 

 

The entire saloon fell silent and Jerry  withdrew his gun

 

 

Simon's eyes were wide with shock at the speed at which Rick had moved

 

 

"  you dare come in here.... into my fucking town, and  start fucking threatening  me, running your fucking mouth  '' he yelled, teeth bared, shoving the cold hard barrel into the back of the man's head

 

 

 

'' I swear I'm gonna  fucking kill you, rid this world of a piece of shit like you  " He spat in his ear

 

 

 

" Everything ok here Rick ??  ''  Jerry questioned, eyes darting between the 2 men

 

 

 

'' Everything's just fine deputy..isn't it Rick ?? ''  Negan's voice came out of nowhere, as he suddenly  appeared next to  Simon

 

 

Rick felt the entire saloon looking at him and he suddenly became very aware of the fact

 

 

 

He took his gun away from the back of the man's head, pushing his weight off him roughly, stepping back, completely ignoring Negan's presence 

 

 

 

'' everything's fine Jerry '' he gritted his teeth, as  Simon stood up straight, looking slightly frazzled, and adjusted his shirt

 

 


" Fuck me  !! you're fast   '' He said with a shocked look on his face like he was genuinely  surprised

 

 

'' The boys are waiting for their booze  Simon'' Negan growled

 

 

 

Rick  and  Simon bore holes into each other as Rick gripped the handle of his gun, held by his side, his blue eyes filled with absolute disgust

 

 

 

"  fuck off Simon or I'll fucking shoot you in the head you myself '' Negan roared, his face twisting

 

 

 

Simon's face immediately  fell as he glanced at Negan,   sulking  away like an obedient fucking  dog back to his  table

 

 

 

Rick immediately  turned back to the mirrored shelves, as he felt Negan's eyes on him

 

 

He knew Simon would end up putting him in a foul fucking mood and he had  succeeded

 

 

The saloon came back to life with loud voices and piano music, as Negan  came up to the bar, standing   impossibly close next to Rick

 

 

 

The tension between the two was thick, neither saying a word to each other, as the smell of tobacco filled Rick's nostrils 

 

 

 

'' You wanna tell me what that was about  ?? '' Negan finally spoke, keeping his voice low

 

 

 

''Oh he was just threatening to  kill you so he can take over the saviors again  " he shrugged 

 

 

 

Rick  glared straight ahead, not wanting to be this close to the man who he was still fucking pissed at, sipping his whiskey

 

 

 

''Negan '' Gregory raced over, grinning like a moron

 

 

 

"Gregory my fine man " he smiled

 

 

 

'' can I get  you anything  ?? ''  he smiled broadly

 

 

 

Rick's eyes narrowed at   Gregory over his glass

 

 

 

"  Another   bottle of whiskey  ''  he grinned, tapping the bar with his hand 

 

 

 

Gregory nodded and turned around grabbing a bottle of whiskey off the shelves

 

 

 

'' here you go '' Gregory smiled, placing it down on the bar

 

 

 

''Thank you my good man " Negan grinned, flipping several  silver coins  similar to Simon's onto  the bar as Rick's rage seethed underneath his skin

 

 

 

''Oh no, Thank YOU  Negan '' Gregory grinned like a creep and picked up his money, walking away 

 

 

 


Negan scoffed 

 

 

 

" What a fucking  ass kisser, sees a bit of silver and his dick gets hard " he smirked  at Rick

 

 

 

Rick averted his eyes towards jerry   and gripped his glass, which was almost empty

 

 

 

Negan  opened the bottle of  whiskey he had  just bought and poured some into Rick's glass, leaning into him closely 

 

 

 

the fucking  sheer cockiness of the man fucking irritated Rick and his jaw tightened in anger

 

 

 

'' You smell fucking good  Grimes '' he purred and Rick's stomach flipped slightly

 

 

 

''  Did you get all dolled up just for me  ?? " he smirked, sticking his tongue between his teeth

 

 

 

Rick scoffed over his glass

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment looking at Rick and leaned in closer, whispering into his ear

 

 

''you know, It was a really, really  fucking  dumbass move  leaving  camp  the way you did... especially when I specifically  asked you not to '' the possessive tone in his voice made Rick's dick twitch

 

 

''that .... '' he gritted his teeth

 

 

'' Fucking bullshit fucking move, could have gotten you fucking killed you stupid son of a bitch '' he raised his voice in Rick's ear

 

 


Jerry  eyed Negan 

 

 


'' Yet  I  somehow managed to  get back here very much  alive and well without your fucking presence  so ......   '' he shrugged, staring into the mirror as he sipped his whiskey

 

 

Negan stood up, glaring at him and Rick could feel the anger radiating off his shoulders 

 

 

 

'' Only cause you had Daryl's horse and fucking weapon..I doubt very much you would have gotten far without them '' he spat

 

 

'' he offered them  to me '' he shrugged

 

 

'' It didnt mean you had to fucking take them and fucking leave Rick '' he yelled, gritting his teeth

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment as he put the bottle of whiskey to his lips, taking a swig of the dark alcohol

 

 

Rick glanced at him out of the corner of his eye

 

 


'' so are we good ?? '' he  whispered

 

 

Rick almost laughed at the stupid question

 

 


He glared at Negan, his blue eyes filled with  pure frustration

 

 

'' we dont have anything to say to one another Negan, so  why dont you go over to your fucking table and attempt to   keep those dogs you're with under control   '' he spat, meaning Simon and  Simon only  

 

 

Negan's face twisted in pure anger and he slammed his fist down on the bar, abruptly making Rick flinch and Jerry turn his attention back to him

 

 


'' Fine !! keep acting like a fucking bitch, what the fuck do I care ??  there's plenty of ladies here happy enough to get fucked tonight '' he growled in his ear, teeth gritted

 

 

 

Rick simply glanced at him unfazed at his attempts to make him jealous

 

 

 

'' What do I care if you fuck a whore... ??  '' he  spat spitefully, looking away, acting like Negan's  cruel words didnt affect him, but deep down they did, they cut like a fucking knife into his heart

 

 

''Is this about Frankie ? '' he whispered

 

 

Rick was silent, sipping his drink

 

 

 

" you think that camp whore means anything to me, Rick ?? ''

 

 

Rick ignored him

 

 

'' Is that why you left  ??  " he said, so unsure

 

 

Rick closed his eyes and sighed loudly, he still didn't fucking understand

 

 

" I fucking left because I couldn't stand to be in that camp a second longer, I left because of the look you gave me when I tried to tell you that Simon killed boots, he threatened your life Negan, and you still fucking took his side, assuming  I was fucking jacked up or some shit..you fucking had your tongue down Frankie's throat right in front of me, not even 24 hours after we left the farm, where I thought .....'' he scoffed

 

 

''I actually believed you when you told me I was the first person you had brought there, told about Lucille, I mean what the fuck was I thinking actually believing any shit that came out of your mouth ?? '' he sipped his drink, angrily

 

 

'' I didnt  lie Rick '' he gritted his teeth

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

''I took her to the farm, but it was nothing like she fucking says...I told her about Lucille yeh, we went to check on the animals that day, she wanted to come along, get out of camp, she was having trouble with one of the men so I took her, we talked, I never fucked her Rick.......sure  I did once or twice in camp, but fuck, I'd say half of the men have fucked her...we didnt fuck at the  house, we didnt even stay overnight  honey, you gotta believe me '' he pleaded

 

 

Rick's mind was ticking over like the clock in his office, Carol did say she was exaggerating the truth

 

 

but should he believe Negan ??

 

 

 

''I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry I fucking kissed her, I don't know what I was thinking, I'd never fucking do anything to hurt you intentionally honey, you know that..... I fucking care about you man  ..'' he leaned in closer

 

 

''I fucking love you Rick  '' he whispered

 

 

Rick felt a tightening in his chest every time the man told him that and he knew deep down he really did

 

 

'' Boss, come on will ya, stop talking to that filthy lawman  and come drink with us " Simon's voice hollered out over the noisy saloon

 

 

 

Negan stood up straight, waving his hand at Simon and Rick closed his eyes 

 

 

" he's going to kill you Negan, why won't you listen to me ?? '' he whispered

 

 

Negan looked at him

 

 

" Look, we'll   talk about this later, ok  ?? " he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and turned towards his men 

 

 

'' So you'd rather go fucking get drunk with the man who wants to kill you than talk about why I'm fucking pissed at you ?? '' he spat

 

 

Negan looked surprised 

 

 

" Forget  it ,  it doesn't matter, you dont fucking care what I have to say about it " he glared at the mirrored shelves, feeling fucking furious that the man was being so blatantly oblivious to Simon's  ill intentions

 

 

" Rick ''  Paul's voice suddenly made Rick turn around, Negan removing his hand from  the bottle of whiskey, facing him 

 

 

he wore his hair out and had changed his clothes, having lost the blue bandana and black shirt with the satchel bag

 

 

he was now smartly dressed in a light green shirt, that made his eyes stand out  with  black pants

 

 

Rick looked at him and he suddenly wished he had made more of an effort and changed clothes....he did have a spare set at the jail after all

 

 

''  Paul '' Rick blinked stupidly, standing  up straight, slightly taken aback at the man's beauty,

 

 

he had totally forgotten they were having a drink

 

 

He smiled at Rick and glanced at Negan

 

 

'' paul '' he smiled, extending his hand

 

 

Negan  looked the younger man  up and down like an insect and his lip curled up

 

 

''Negan '' he mumbled and took Paul's hand in his 

 

 

''  Don't think I've ever seen you around town before ? " Negan spoke through gritted teeth, still gripping the man's hand in his 

 

 

Paul looked down at his hand being  squeezed  by the taller man and he glanced  at Rick

 

 

 

'' maybe because I've never been here before  '' he smiled

 

 

Negan let his hand go, roughly, eyeing him

 

 

'' My brother and I are just passing through town, Rick  here has been most welcoming  '' he smiled warmly at Rick 

 

 

Rick smiled back, as Negan  glared between the two men 

 

 

''yeh well our Rick here is a real  welcoming kinda  fucking  guy  '' he put his hand on his  shoulder, pressing  his thumb  into  where he knew his wound was, his lip curling up slightly, eyes filled with jealousy

 

 

Rick glared at him, ignoring the pain

 

 

Negan removed his hand

 

 

'' well you must be something pretty damn  special to be getting the royal treatment from the sheriff here, I mean most folks who roll into town don't get their own fucking personal drink, yet here you are  '' he eyed the man 

 

 

''Rick and I are in similar professions, I went and introduced myself  to let him know we were in town as a courtesy, and I invited him for a drink '' he smiled 

 

 

'' Paul and his brother are bounty hunter's  '' Rick said before  Negan could ask 

 

 

Negan stilled, his face twitching slightly

 

 

''And what would a  couple of fucking bounty hunters be doing in Black River exactly ??  '' he glared at Rick like he assumed he had asked them to come

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

" well I am hoping Rick can  help us find Shane Walsh  '' 

 

 

Negan face twisted and he blinked 

 

 

'' Shane fucking Walsh...he  is a fucking ghost, everyone knows that " he spat

 

 

''well Rick  is the only man In the state, maybe the country that knows what he looks like, I mean   people have speculated on his appearance but it could all be hear say "' he shrugged 

 

 

'' he is the only person to have seen him and lived, I'd appreciate  any information he can give me.... his location for one  ''

 

 

'' Rick doesn't know where he is either and  the last time he did go looking, that fucking fucker  cut half his face off '' he spat, glaring at paul

 

 

"And what??  you wanna  drag him along on your fucking crusade so he can get himself killed this time ??  " he spat

 

 

'' Negan !! what the fuck  are you doing Man ??  " Another savior yelled out from their table, standing up, waving his arms in the air, irritatedly

 

 

Negan glanced at him, waving his hand again

 

 

" I'm not looking to put  the sheriff  in any kind of danger, I simply want to pick his  brain is all "  Paul furrowed his  brows

 

 

'' It's ok Paul, I know how to look after myself "  Rick  spat

 

 

Negan scoffed  loudly and Rick glared at him

 

 

'' What are you having  Rick  ??  '' Paul pointed to Rick's,near empty glass on the bar, changing the subject

 

 

Rick turned around, looking  down at it dumbly

 

 

'' whiskey ''  Negan spat, glaring at Paul, clicking his fingers in the air, making Gregory run over

 

 

 

'' what can I get  you  Negan  ?  '' he smiled

 

 

"  Another whiskey for Rick   " he spat, glaring at Paul

 

 

 Gregory nodded, turning his back on the men 

 

 

Negan looked at Paul with a look in his eyes that  Rick knew all too well.....anger, jealousy a slight hint of mischief blazed like a fire in them

 

 

Gregory put Rick's drink down and Negan flipped 3 silver coins on the bar, never taking his eyes off of Paul

 

 

'' Well  Sheriff, if you'll excuse me, I have other business to attend to '' Negan glared  at Paul, putting his hand on the back of Rick's nape, his thumb trailing over his skin gently yet possessively 

 

 

 

Rick felt embarrassed he was acting like a jealous moron in front of Paul and he glanced at the younger man 

 

 

Negan took his hand off of Rick's neck  and picked up his bottle of whiskey, deliberately running his shoulder  into Paul as he walked past him, childishly, turning back to glare at him and walking away  to his table

 

 

Rick's eyes  followed him and turned  back to Paul, who was looking at him strangely

 

 

"I'm so sorry Paul '' he rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a hot blush rise up his neck

 

 

"are you two  together ?? '' he glanced at Negan

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat 

 

 

"What ..no '' he said more urgently than  was necessary

 

 

"' he's just an asshole that I locked up every other week, likes to be heard, a big mouth, if you know what I  mean ??  " he shrugged 

 

 

 

'' likes to hear himself talk ?? " Paul smiled

 

 

Rick laughed ..that was exactly the way he saw Negan 

 

 

 

" Can I buy you a drink   ?? " Rick smiled weakly 

 

 

"' I thought I was buying you one ??  " he smiled and Rick's heart skipped a beat, god the man was beautiful

 

 

" well '' he held up his full glass Negan had just bought him

 

 

Paul laughed

 

 

" ok, but only if you let me  buy  the next one sheriff  '' he smiled

 

 

" oh, please call me Rick  '' he turned around to get Gregory's attention 

 

 

 

''ok, but only if you  call me Jesus '' he smiled

 

 

Rick furrowed his  brows at the man 

 

 

''Jesus, like the bible Jesus ?? " he raised his eyebrow thinking that was a bit cocky

 

 

'' Well that's what  my friends  called me, I guess it just stuck '' he laughed 

 

 

Rick looked at him dumbly

 

 

''it's because of my hair, not that I think I'm bigger than Jesus christ '' he grinned 

 

 

Rick saw the connection and laughed 

 

 

'' Yes Rick '' Gregory stood in front of him

 

 

he looked at Jesus to find out what drink he wanted

 

 

" oh, whatever Rick is having '' he grinned

 

 

" A whiskey it is "  he smiled and turned around, pouring the younger man a glass

 

 

''do you want to sit at a table '' Jesus motioned behind them

 

 

''sure ''  Rick  grinned

 

 

''oh this is my deputy, Jerry '' he patted Jerry on the back, as he had his head in Mary's bosoms

 

 

''Mmm, what ? '' jerry glanced up

 

 

''This is paul Monroe, he's  a bounty hunter, he'll be staying in town for a few days " Rick beamed

 

 

''Oh ..oh, hey, nice to meet you  '' jerry smiled, holding out his hand to the man 

 

 

Paul smiled and took it in his 

 

 

''it's a pleasure Jerry '' he smiled

 

 

Rick couldn't get over the man's polite attitude, it was refreshing

 

 

Gregory placed his drink on the bar and they went and sat down at a nearby table, Rick making sure he sat with his back to Negan, so he wouldn't have to see his fucking eyes boring holes into him all night 

 

 

 

'' so tell me more about what you need from me in tracking that piece of shit Shane down...I dont know how I can help, I mean he's eluded me for years '' Rick began

 

 

Jesus sipped his drink, eyeing Rick

 

 

''How  did you become the  sheriff here ?? you are quite young '' he smiled over his glass, genuinely looking interested

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows... weren't they here to discuss Shane ???

 

 

Jesus looked concerned at his silence

 

 

'' something wrong ??  '' he  asked, concerned

 

 

''I just thought  we were here because you wanted  to discuss   Shane "

 

 

'' we are, but id like to get to know you too... I mean why ruin the evening  talking about that outlaw scum  all night '' he smiled, his eyes flicking down to Rick's chest 

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat at the man's eyes  roaming his torso, god he was stunning

 

 

Rick wasn't instantly  attracted to All men, they were far and few between, and very few  actually   made his heart skip,  this man being one of them  it would seem 

 

 

Negan was the only man he had ever had sex with, apart from  the handjobs he and his friend Thomas performed on each other when they were 18

 

 

Rick  had forgotten what he asked him and he felt a hot blush rising up his neck

 

 

"I'm sorry what ??  " he said dumbly

 

 

Jesus smirked and looked down  at the table, twisting  the glass in his hands

 

 

''How did you become the sheriff of Black River, you are quite young......I mean all the sheriffs I ever met are old men, set in their ways, defiantly  not a man of your age, who lets his deputy off early to go and drink at the saloon..or  allow him to have a  whore in his lap '' he laughed glancing over at Jerry 

 

 

Rick turned around smiling at him  and turned back to the man who was looking at him in a way that made Rick's dick twitch

 

 

he stared at the man for a moment, before clearing his throat, glancing down at his drink

 

 

''I wasn't the original sheriff here, My father-in-law was, Hershel ''

 

 

 

''He..'' he furrowed his brows

 

 

''He was murdered by Shane, he wanted me to take over from  him, it was his dying wish'' he said softly

 

 

Jesus was silent

 

 

''Shane has killed many people and destroyed many families '' he said quietly

 

 

Rick looked down at his glass

 

 

 

''Your family,  Shane did that too  ? ''

 

 

Rick nodded

 

 

''guess that's where my obsession with hunting him stemmed from, he shot me at point blank range in the head, but I lived.......I often wonder if it was a sign ''

 

 

''  of what ? '' he furrowed his brows 

 

 

'' that I'd   be the one to eventually bring him to his fucking knees'' he glared at Jesus

 

 

''well that's what id like to believe anyway.... sounds better than just dumb luck '' he shrugged, smiling

 

 

Jesus smiled at him

 

 

''well I reckon you are pretty damn special Rick, I mean I dont  know anyone else who has survived a gunshot to the head '' 

 

 

a sudden howl of laughter had Rick turning around to see Simon pouring straight bourbon down another savior's throat, as Negan and the others cheered him on 

 

 

Rick sighed and turned back to him

 

 

'' Tell me ...how did you become a bounty hunter ?? ''

 

 

Jesus scoffed

 

 

'' I'm afraid it's rather boring Rick, my great grandfather was a bounty, my grandfather, my father,  were all in the life, I guess you could say   spencer and I were born into it " 

 

 

''It's rewarding ...but it's a lonely life '' 

 

 

'' How so ? ''

 

 

''well you're always out chasing your next bounty, you have to eat, but you have to get paid to eat first, it's like a never ending vicious cycle''

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

''  It's definitely not a job  for a family man, I think I saw my father once a month if  that  ''

 

 

'' So you don't have a wife or children ? '' Rick questioned, genuinely curious

 

 

 

Jesus laughed

 

 

 

''no ''

 

 

'' how old are you ??  " Rick furrowed his brows 

 

 

''I'm 36 ...you ?? ''

 

 

'' I'm  40 ''

 

 

"You dont look it '' he smiled warmly

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat and he sipped his whiskey

 

 

''I noticed your weapon.. were you in the civil war ?? ''

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to the man, he had fucking eyes like a hawk

 

 

''you have a sharp set of eyes on you ''

 

 

''it's not the only thing I've noticed '' he smirked over his glass, his eyes playful

 

 

Ricks felt his dick twitch and his heart flutter

 

 

''but  it helps in my business ''

 

 

''yeah, I guess it does.. it's not the gun I had in the war, that was lost the night Shane attacked me along with my machete..that gun meant everything to me, it saved my life more than once I can tell you '' he smiled

 

 

''I have no doubt''

 

 

''How did you survive such injuries......if you don't mind me asking ?? '' he motioned to Rick's face

 

 

" Actually a group of strangers saved me, they have a camp about one days ride from here, they could have left me to die out there, but they didnt '' he smiled

 

 

''you're a very fortunate man Rick ''

 

 

'' yes I am '' he smiled, thinking about the savior's generosity

 

 

''I reckon you have someone special looking down on you Rick '' 

 

 

another loud yell from Negan's table  had Rick sighing

 

 

'' Hey, maybe you'd like to ride along with us tomorrow morning, we are heading  into falls creek to see if they have any information about Shane ??''

 

 

" well that's a very tempting offer, but I can save you both the trip, I know for a fact that they dont have information, I'm  in constant communication with the surrounding communities and no one ever has any information on Shane..he is literally a ghost ''

 

 

''oh '' Jesus looked downcast

 

 

''sorry I dont have  better news  '' Rick smield weakly

 

 

'' oh it's not your fault, what about further out, there's a town called Woodbury we had our sights set on it after we left here actually, that was our next stop for a few days  "

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to his 

 

 

''Woodbury '' he said wide eyed

 

 

''yes, do you know it ?? '' Jesus furrowed his  brows

 

 

''no..no I mean  I've heard of it, but I've never traveled there myself ''  Rick stammered

 

 

Jesus nodded

 

 

'' well I think that will be our plan tomorrow '' he drank the rest of his whiskey, as Rick watched his Addams apple bobbing up and down and stood up

 

 

'' now Rick, I really hate to leave so early, but I have  had a long journey riding here  '' he stood up, smiling down at the man 

 

 

''oh, of corse "' Rick swallowed the rest of his whiskey, standing up 

 

 

"'I will stop in at the jail in the morning, and  if you're not busy, maybe you'd like to ride along with us, I 'd  enjoy our company '' he smiled 

 

 

'' and your brother ?? ''

 

 

Jesus laughed

 

 

'' you leave him to me, Rick ''

 

 

'' it was a pleasure '' he held out his hand

 

 

Rick took his gloved hand in his and it   felt like electricity was running through his body

 

 

'' the pleasure was all mine " Rick smiled

 

 

their eyes met and something in Rick's guts did a back flip, butterflies filled him with a sudden immense nervousness

 

 

 

''I'll be sure to buy you that  drink next time '' his eyes flicked down Rick's torso ever so slightly

 

 

 

''good night " Rick took his hand away from the man and smiled weakly at him, feeling flustered

 

 

he walked away and Rick turned to follow him as he walked up the stairs to the hotel situated above the saloon

 

 

he turned and looked back at Rick, smiling and Rick smiled like a love struck moron, he made him feel so strangely alive like his eyes had been closed his entire life

 

 

It was a feeling he couldn't explain

 

 

His attention was suddenly drawn to Negan's table where the men were hollering and yelling loudly, Negan and Simon had whores sitting on their laps

 

 

Rick sighed ......it was going to be a long night 

 

Notes:

Never in my wildest dreams did I think when I started this fic that it would get up to almost 50 chapters

 

I am incredibly proud of his fic and it's turned into something I never expected

Chapter 49

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He was about to turn around  and return to the bar when  Simon hollered out 

 

 

"Hey Rick, looks like your new boyfriend  left ya with blue balls   " he laughed at his own joke, his head falling back

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes at the man  laughing obnoxiously and his hands clenched into  fists by his side, his rage boiling in the pit of his gut

 

 

 

He looked  at Negan, who had a whore sitting in his lap, seemingly more interested in her breast than Simon's fucking mouth and his lip curled up in anger

 

 

 

He glared at Daryl and  Dwight  who  gave him sympathetic looks

 

 

 

He didnt want to be anywhere near these assholes any longer and he turned around

 

 

"oh come on Sheriff, cant you take a fucking joke  ??  " Simon yelled out

 

 

 

Rick ignored him and went back to the bar, noticing Mary had moved on to another man, as she was now sitting at one of the tables with him, leaving Jerry nursing his glass of whiskey, looking heartbroken 

 

 

 

'' why dont you go on home Jerry  ?? " he patted him on the back

 

 

 

" yeh  ??  '' he mumbled, sitting up straight

 

 

'' You sure you'll be ok  with that lot ??  they look pretty rowdy '' he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating   Negan's table

 

 

Rick glared over at the table, Simon was now standing up with  his arms slung around two whores, one of which Negan  previously had in his lap, laughing like a drunk moron

 

 

his eyes flicked over to Negan who was glaring at him over his glass of whiskey, as he held it to his lips, his eyes narrowed and dark

 

 

No matter how many times the man  looked at Rick like that it always made his dick twitch, it was a fucking turn on  

 

 

he averted his eyes, ignoring the arousal stirring in his stomach,  back to Jerry  as he finished the rest  of his drink and stood up 

 

 

''  I can handle them '' he smiled weakly at the man

 

 

Jerry yawned as he walked in front of Rick, making him suddenly feel  damn tired too

 

 

''oh hey, can you bring  me in one of the horses you have  on your property tomorrow  please ??  'horse ' was picked up this afternoon after you left '' he eyed him

 

 

''  Yeah, I'll see what I can rustle up for ya...... see you in the  morning boss  '' he said sleepily, putting his hat back on his head

 

 

'' yeh, ill see you in the morning " Rick whispered, watching him leave

 

 

he turned around to the bar, as  Gregory walked up to him

 

 

'' another whiskey Rick ?? '' he smiled

 

 

he was about to answer the man when he seemed to glance over rick's shoulder, his eyes lighting  up like light bulbs

 

 

" Negan '' he beamed

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, feeling the man's presence behind him

 

 

'' More drinks for your men ??  " he asked eagerly

 

 

 

''No, no...'' he waved his hand

 

 

'' They have had enough for one night, We  have important business to attend to in the morning and  I want them on their fucking  toes for it, not  hungover under  the fucking table ''  he grinned 

 

 

Gregory smiled, nodding

 

 

'' Thank you  for your fucking outstanding hospitality Gregory '' he said smugly ,throwing some silver coins onto the bar

 

 

Gregory's eyes  were wide with greed as he put his hand over the coins, sliding them across the bar, and shoving  them into his pants pocket, smiling broadly

 

 

 

he would have made a small fortune tonight

 

 

he looked over at Rick like he had only just remembered he was there, blinking dumbly

 

 

'' Oh Rick, a whiskey was it ??   coming right up '' he smiled, turning around and pouring Rick a glass

 

 

Negan immediately flipped another 3 coins on the bar, presumably paying for Rick's drink, as he had done earlier in the night

 

 

Rick's lip curled up at the man's fucking arrogance

 

 

'' thank you Negan ''  Gregory  grinned, taking the money as he put Rick's drink down  and walking away grinning 

 

 

 

'' you keep throwing stolen money around like that  and you are  gonna attract  the wrong kind of attention  '' Rick spat

 

 

Negan was silent and Rick could feel his eyes boring into him

 

 

he glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, feeling his body warmth radiating off him as  he stood impossibly close 

 

 

'' Your bounty hunter  was real pretty  '' he said, jealousy dripping off his tongue, seemingly ignoring Rick's last remark about the money

 

 

'' You think he fucks as good as he looks ??   '' he said crudely

 

 

Rick's lip curled up over his glass as he stared straight ahead, the man was obviously jealous, but he'd been rubbing a whore in his face, and that whole situation with  Frankie

 

 

He could have a little  fun with this

 

 

'' What were you doing with that piece of shit ?? '' he spat

 

 

" what, who ? '' Rick smirked

 

 

"the fucking pretty bounty hunter Rick  '' he raised his voice

 

 

 

''We were having a drink, Jesus and his brother just arrived in town,  and I ....''

 

 

Negan suddenly  burst  out laughing, his chest vibrating

 

 

"Jesus....what he actually calls himself Jesus ???  Fuck and here  I thought he  was  an fucking asshole before   '' he laughed

 

 

''only his friends call him that '' Rick spat

 

 

"oh !! so youre friends now are ya ??  " he eyed Rick up and down on the stool

 

 

''I'd like to think so, he's invited me to ride along  with him tomorrow '' Rick said casually, knowing it was getting on Negan's nerves

 

 

'' You gonna let him fuck you ?? '' he said abruptly

 

 

Rick almost chocked on his whiskey and he glared at the older man 

 

 

" am I what ? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

'' Did I fucking stutter ?? '' he spat, his face twisted, his eyes filled with possessiveness, that made Rick's dick come to life

 

 

'' so   I can't talk to another male  now without you assuming I'm attracted to him, is that it  ??  '' he ignored his dick, glaring at the man

 

 

''  his fucking tongue was practically hanging out of his fucking head  Rick, And you were sitting there  sucking it all up like a fucking tight blowjob '' he spat

 

 

 

''It was just a drink Negan  ''  he stared straight ahead, sipping his whiskey

 

 

Negan scoffed

 

 

'' Does he know that ?? cause  it looked like he wanted more than just a fucking drink Rick ?? '' he spat

 

 

 

'' You dont know what you're talking about, He asked for  my help ''

 

 

''what !! with  Shane ?? you got rocks in ya head Grimes ?? ''

 

 

Rick's anger was burning in his gut, the man had no fucking right to be in his face about flirting ( not that he  doing that ) after he was kissing Frankie and looking at whores breasts 

 

 

''No one is gonna think any less of you if you dont go Shane again, especially not me '' he said softly

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to him

 

 

'' do I fucking care what you think  ?? '' he spat

 

 

Negan's  face was stiff as his jaw moved, his muscles tightening and releasing 

 

 

'' what ??  and You fucking care what  pretty boy thinks ??  '' he waved his hand towards the stairs of the saloon 

 

 

''Maybe I do, at least He's on board with catching Shane, unlike you, who thinks it's  a dumb idea " 

 

 

'' Of corse  I think it's a dumb fucking idea, you were  almost fucking killed last time Rick  '' he yelled

 

 

'' Jesus and his brother  can help me find him, we can help each other " he shrugged, looking back at the mirrored shelves

 

 

'' Oh ok, but when I offered to help you, get my boys in on it too, the fucking saviors, you fucking cuffed me to your desk, telling me you needed to do it alone'' he spat his eyes filled with anger

 

 

'' it's different now '' he whispered

 

 

'' How the fuck is it different ??? ''

 

 

'' It just is '' he said softly

 

 

''why  ?? cause you'd rather ride alongside that blue eyed motherfucker ?? ''

 

 

'' Because I know I can't do it alone, not the next time,I can't go out there alone next time, not after last time,  '' he yelled in Negan's face, his eyes wide with frustration

 

 

he averted his eyes back to the front, holding the glass to his lips

 

 

his pride had taken a real beating from the last encounter he had with Shane, and although he knew he wasn't  giving  up on  hunting  for the asshole,he knew he couldnt go out there  alone again

 

 

Negan was silent for a moment and Rick thought he'd finally given up on his rant about Jesus

 

 

'' so what ??  you feel safe with him and not me now is that it  ??  '' he spat

 

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, closing his eyes

 

 

'' youre being an asshole '' Rick sighed, very, much over the conversation

 

 

he had to go and babysit the jail for the rest of the evening  and he would rather do that than listen to Negan's jealous raving the rest of the night

 

 

 

''Oh, I'm being an asshole........I'm sitting over there watching some fucking slimeball fucking coming onto my man, and I'm an asshole '' he yelled, his teeth gritted

 

 

Rick swallowed the last of his whiskey and stood up, putting his hat back on

 

 

''Unlike you, I dont use people to make others jealous '' he said flatly and turned to leave

 

 

Negan grabbed him roughly by his bicep, holding him still

 

 

'' wait '' he said quietly

 

 

Rick's jaw clenched in aggravation 

 

 

'' look..... we've booked some rooms for the night, why don't you come upstairs  and we can talk...... in private '' he glanced  at the other people who were sitting  at  tables

 

 

Negan and his men booking a room for the night wasn't unusual, they did it sometimes after a long night of drinking and didnt want to travel back to their camp in the dark, drunk off their heads

 

 

''why, what do we have to talk about ??  '' Rick eyed his hand on his arm

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows and removed his hand

 

 

'' please Rick '' he said softly, his hazel  eyes pleading like

 

 

 

'' I wanted to talk before, but you made it very obvious you would rather go drink with  Simon ''

 

 

''And you  made it very fucking obvious you and your new boyfriend wanted to be alone ''

 

 

'' it's not a pissing match Negan '' he glared at him

 

 

'' please baby '' he said softly, his tongue dripping with warmth and a hint of  lust

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped upside down  at the man's husky voice 

 

 

'' You got  5 minutes'' he snapped

 

 

'' 5 minutes '' Negan  grinned 

 

 

''  I have never done it in 5 minutes before, but there's always a first time for everything  '' he smirked

 

 

Rick glared at him

 

 

''Fuck Rick, get that fucking stick out of your ass will ya  '' he laughed, nudging his elbow into the sheriff's shoulder as he passed him

 

 

 

Rick followed him  and stood at the foot of the stairs that led up to the rooms above the saloon

 

 

 

he watched him talk to his men as Daryl glanced  at him

 

 

 

 Simon's face screwed up tightly  and  his eyes immediately flicked over to Rick, his mustache twitching in irritation

 

 

 Negan  lent over the table  speaking  to him, his face  twisting, as he pointed a finger at him

 

 

the asshole's face immediately fell like a scolded child and he pouted like one too

 

 

Negan stood up straight, adjusting his coat, and turned around to Rick, grinning

 

 

He   stalked over to him, looking him up and down like he wanted to eat him alive and Rick's dick twitched

 

 

''All good over there ?? '' he jerked his head to the savior's table

 

 

'' oh corse Sheriff......after you '' he motioned for the stairs, grinning his stupid wolf grin

 

 

Rick eyed him and began to walk up the stairs as Negan followed closely  behind

 

 

he glanced over at the table and  saw  Simon  glaring at him, his eyes filled with malice, a scowl spread across his face

 

 

Rick turned around and glanced at  the man behind him, who currently has his eyes trained on his ass

 

 

Rick stopped abruptly  making the older man  run into him, flicking  his eyes up to him

 

 

'' what ?? '' he smirked

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and turned around walking up the rest of the stairs and  stoppped on the landing

 

 

Negan  took the lead as they walked down the long hallway, lined with doors

 

 

As they  passed several numbered doors, loud   moans and orgasmic screams came from some of the rooms, it wasn't just a hotel for travelers, it was also  where the whores took their clients 

 

 

they walked past one door and a sudden loud thud on the wall, followed by a man moaning loudly made them both stop and look curiously at the room

 

 

Negan turned around sticking his tongue between his teeth at Rick, raising his eyebrows suggestively

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the man as he laughed and continued walking down to the very end of the hallway, where Rick knew they had the most expensive rooms......oh corse Negan would have booked it !!

 

 

He  unlocked the door with his key, holding it open for Rick, smiling broadly

 

 

Rick eyed him as he entered the room, immediately looking around

 

 

 it was quite beautiful, A large bed sat in the middle of the room with two matching side tables on each side, two glass double doors opened out onto a small balcony, overlooking the back of Black River. A large cupboard sat up against the wall, with a   side table with various bottles of alcohol lined across it next to it. There was a small sink with a mirror hanging above it and a leather chair placed in the corner. The room was  finished off with various house plants in large potters and paintings  on the walls

 

 

The bathroom in this particular establishment was shared and in one room, back down the hallway where they had already passed 

 

 

Rick opened the double glass doors and walked out onto the balcony, it was a nice view, overlooking the mountains that surrounded Black River

 

 

'' you want a drink ?? '' Negan asked from inside 

 

 

'' No '' Rick said, walking back into the room, sitting down in the chair, and taking his hat off

 

 

'' I've got this room all to myself, so no one will interrupt us '' he turned around with  a glass of whiskey in his hand

 

 

Rick's eyes followed  him as he sat down on the edge of the bed opposite Rick and began  bouncing up and down on it, grinning

 

 

'' I wonder how many people have fucked on here ??  '' he grinned  

 

 

 Rick's jaw twitched in irritation 

 

 

'' what do you want Negan, what is this about   ?? '' he sighed

 

 

''what's with the  fucking attitude Rick ?  can't you  just  appreciate being in this  magnificent  fucking room  ?? '' he grinned looking around

 

 

'' That you  paid for  with stolen money '' he spat

 

 

Negan flicked his  eyes to him

 

 

'' dont matter how it was paid for Rick '' he narrowed his eyes, his voice low

 

 

'' Look I have to get  back to the jail....   '' he sighed, standing up 

 

 

''ok, ok '' Negan waved his hand gesturing for Rick to sit back down

 

 

'' look, I have something  pretty fucking important to tell you, so can you sit down please '' he  glanced at Rick

 

 

''  we could have talked downstairs Negan, why all the fucking secrecy ?? '' he furrowed his brows, still standing up

 

 

''  sit down Rick '' he said softly

 

 

''Why the fuck should I sit down and listen to what you have to say when you haven't wanted to hear a word I've said about Simon or........  '' he yelled, angrily

 

 

''Sit the fuck down Rick'' he spat, cutting Rick off mid sentence, glaring up at him, his teeth gritted

 

 

Rick's jaw clenched as he glared down at the man

 

 

'' I said fucking sit down '' he yelled, angrily, a possessive tone to his voice

 

 

Rick sat down, sighing, averting his eyes 

 

 

Negan sighed loudly running a hand over his face, as Rick eyed him

 

 

 

It looked like he had something heavy  hanging over  his  shoulders like he wanted to tell Rick something important but couldn't find the words

 

 

'' what is it ?? '' he asked, concerned 

 

 

'' the bank job .....it's  tomorrow'' he  glanced at Rick

 

 

'' yeh so ??  '' he shrugged, thinking it was something really  important 

 

 

'' look, I know you believe Simon is going to do something to me, but I need this job, I need to do this one  ''

 

 

 

'' well just send him then, he knows how to pull a job, you don't need to be there Negan  " Rick furrowed his  brows

 

 

'' I gotta do  this, I need to make sure the saviors will  be taken care of ''

 

 

''why, what do you mean ? '' he said, his heart suddenly beating faster

 

 

''I'm leaving the saviors '' he said quietly, staring into his glass

 

 

Rick blinked dumbly

 

 

'' what ?? ''

 

 

'' I'm gonna live out on the property, permanently, get some more horses, run a working ranch, just like I told you  '' his eyes flicked up to Rick

 

 

Rick was speechless

 

 

''  This bank is holding enough money  for each man, woman, and child in my camp to have enough money for a house in Woodbury, or wherever they choose to start over, they will be set for the rest of their lives Rick '' he  eyed him

 

 

''It's my responsibility to make sure they are all going to be taken care of ..... I mean I am abandoning them  after all '' he looked saddened into his glass

 

 

'' They ain't your responsibility Negan, especially not   Simon '' he scoffed

 

 

''no, but I am their leader and I've looked out for them for the past 20 years, I just ...'' he sighed

 

 

''I need to know I've done everything I can to help them, I mean Carol and  Sophia....'' he looked at Rick, trailing off,his eyes filled with genuine concern

 

 

''do they know you are leaving ?? '' he  whispered, feeling anguish for the man, it must have been a very hard decision to make

 

 

''No..no one knows, expect you '' he glanced at him

 

 

'' Why are you telling me then  ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

Negan looked hurt as a pained expression swept across his face

 

 

'' I  dunno Rick, I  thought you might actually   give a fuck '' he spat

 

 

'' i do,it's  just..its '' he stammered

 

 

''This is why I have to do this last job, and I dont want you to say I didnt believe you about Simon.. I have to do it ..... I believe you ok, I believe you feel strongly about this, but he's been my best friend, Rick, that's gotta mean some damn thing '' he spat

 

 

''You owe him nothing, he wants you fucking dead '' he yelled, feeling angry

 

 

'' what are we doing here Rick ? '' he shook his head

 

 

he furrowed his  brows at him

 

 


''I love you your stupid asshole'' his face was unreadable

 

 

''  I'm fucking sorry about Frankie, I was a total fucking selfish, arrogant piece of shit,  I wasn't trying to make you jealous baby, I truly mean that I just dont think sometimes....  I'm sorry about Boots, you know I am, it all happened in the blink of an eye, I'm not saying Simon didnt pull that trigger..... but he was drunk   ''

 

 

 

'' so what !!  that makes it ok does it  ?? '' Rick spat

 

 

 

''He fucking admitted it, Negan  he rubbed it in my fucking face like he did when he threatened your life " He yelled 

 

 

 

Negan sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose

 

 

 

''this  shit just keeps going around and around in a fucking circle '' he mumbled

 

 

 

''I'm so tired, Rick '' he rubbed a hand down his face

 

 

 

'' I'm fucking tired, I'm  fucking tired of fighting with you '' he sipped his whiskey, his face drawn looking

 

 

Rick fell silent

 

 

'' Well  Maybe we aren't  as good for each other as we think we are, maybe we are just hurting each other  '' he whispered

 

 

Negan flashed his eyes to Rick, dark and angry mixed with hurt and rejection 

 

 

 

'' you really believe that ?? ''

 

 

 

Rick averted his eyes, not meaning it

 

 

''you really believe we are hurting each other ?? '' he snappped

 

 

'' After Lucille died, I didnt give a fuck about anything, nothing !! I was a fucking loose cannon, all I wanted to do was cause trouble where ever we went, I wanted them to fear the saviors, we were a bunch of men, acting like fucking little boys, running from the law, robbing banks, drinking, fucking that's all it was about. Every night was a fucking blur of alcohol and whores, I didnt care if I  woke up the next day or not ''

 

 

 

'' And  then I saw you that first time in this very saloon ....the very  thought of a fucking outlaw and  a deputy....fuck if that didnt make my dick hard just thinking about it, I wanted to fucking have you, fucking own you '' his predatory eyes flicked up to Rick

 

 

a dry lump  in his throat made it difficult to swallow, as his dick came to life at the man's words

 

 

'' but When I got to know you, I  saw straight past that fucking stoic exterior you try to portray to everyone and I saw you, the real you, you and your fucking wounded soul ''

 

 

''your heart was so pure, so fucking  tortured Rick, you feel so much.......... I often wonder if it's too much for you to take sometimes '' he stared at the floor 

 

 

Rick  stood up and  walked over  to the bed sitting down next to him, their knees touching

 

 

'' you changed everything in my life,  the way I saw everything, including myself, I wanted to  be more than just a fucking outlaw, looking over my shoulder, running from the law, living like a fucking gypsy, you made me see I was worth more than that '' he looked at Rick his eyes so wide and honest

 

 

'' you are worth more '' Rick whispered, taking his hand in his, looking at their fingers intertwined

 

 

'' You tell me we are bad of each other, that we are hurting each other......you saved me  Rick, you saved me from myself '' he whispered

 

 

Rick  looked up at him, his face was so soft and gently, his eyes so pure, no ego, no cocky bullshit, just raw emotion and truth

 

 

''I can't live without you Rick, I dont even want to try  baby '' he whispered, moving closer to  Rick's face

 

 

Rick softly pressed his lips to Negan's, feeling the electricity running through his veins

 

 

Negan pulled back swiftly and Rick looked at him confused

 

 

he   leaned down and put his glass on the floorboards, sitting up straight, cupping the sides of Rick's face with his hands, pressing his lips to his once again 

 

 

they fell back onto the bed, both crawling up further as Negan lay between Rick's spread legs, his hands roaming up underneath his shirt, cold fingers dancing over  hot skin

 

 

Rick began fumbling at Negan's buttons making sure his lips never left the older man

 

 

The outlaw sat up on his knees abruptly pulling his lips away from the younger man and practically ripped his shirt off, a few buttons flying into the air and hitting the floorboards

 

 

Rick's shaking hands began to undo his belt and pants, he needed this urgently, as  his heart began to pound in his throat

 

 

Negan fell on the bed beside  Rick, kicking his boots off and  shimming  out of his  pants, making fast work of his underwear throwing them on the floor, all in one quick motion before Rick had even thought about his own clothes, that  suddenly felt  tight  on his body

 

 

He  climbed back on top of Rick and began undoing the buttons on his shirt,  black  strands of hair falling into his face

 

 

Rick looked up at him, smiling as Negan's eyes flicked up to his

 

 

'' what ?? '' he smirked

 

 

'' I love you '' Rick smiled

 

 

'' I love you too baby '' he smiled, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips, pulling back 

 

 

Rick grabbed the back of his head and pushed his tongue into his mouth as  Negan accepted eagerly

 

 

he ground  his erection  down onto Rick's hard dick and Rick's mouth parted, a soft moan coming from his lips

 

 

Negan proceeded to attack his neck with kisses and small nips of his teeth as his hands made quick work of Rick's shirt buttons, as Rick trembling hands blindly undid his belt and pants, his dick straining underneath its confines

 

 

Negan laughed into his neck, knowing Rick was having trouble and he sat up

 

 

Rick kicked off his boots as Negan helped him pull his shirt and pants off, leaving him in just his underwear and  lay between his legs, his eyes flicking  over his face

 

 

he tenderly moved a stray curl from Rick's face, running a thumb over his lips, his eyes looking down at them

 

 

'' you've got the most fucking beautiful  soft lips  baby '' he leaned down pressing a chaste kiss on them

 

 

Rick grabbed the back of  his  head, pulling him deeper, he could never  get enough of the taste of cigarettes and whiskey, that was solely Negan

 

 

Negan ground his dick down onto Rick's hard cock and he moaned lustfully against the older man's lips, his aching  dick needing to be set free from its confines, to feel the friction of the other mans  erection

 

 

Negan began to trail wet kisses down Rick's  neck and collarbone, circling each hard nipple with his mouth and giving them a flick with his tongue

 

 

Rick whimpered as the  man ran his hands down his sides, fingertips tickling his hot skin, trailing  wet kisses down his stomach and stilled over his hard dick

 

 

he seemed to still abruptly, as he felt the man's hot breath ghosting  over his underwear and Rick looked down at him

 

 

''you ok ??  '' he furrowed  his  brows

 

 

Negan looked up at him, a glint of mischief in his eye and he grinned

 

 

''I want  you to suck me  off while I'm sucking you '' he licked his lips

 

 

they had tried this particular position before and Rick smiled, sitting up

 

 

they moved their positions so they lay head to toe and  Rick pulled his underwear down, making his erection bob up against his abdomen

 

 

Rick took Negan's dick in his hand and put his mouth over the head, as Negan did the same to Rick's dick

 

 

he  sucked on  the head, drawing a loud moan from the older man, licking  a stripe up  the underside, running his tongue along the vein, and flicking the head with his tongue like it was a lollypop

 

 

Negan moaned around Rick's dick which he had in his mouth, closing his eyes

 

 

Rick felt like his body  was on fire as Negan began bobbing up and down on his dick, a hot blush rising up his neck at the rising pleasure in his gut

 

 

he grabbed Negan's dick in his hand and began bobbing up and down while stroking him, saliva dribbling out his mouth, coating his hard cock

 

 

he swirled his tongue over the wet slit  and sucked it

 

 

Negan stilled over his dick, mouth parted slightly 

 

 

'' fuck Rick'' he groaned, letting his head fall back, eyes closed

 

 

Rick sat up abruptly twisting his body around and grabbed his face in both  hands, kissing him, sticking his tongue in his mouth tasting his own pre cum on his lips

 

 

he rolled on top of Negan, grounding down his hips so their erections rubbed together

 

 

Negan's head flew back on the bed as he ran his hands down the side of Rick's body, coming to rest on his hips

 

 

Rick  bent down crashing his lips to the man underneath him, as Negan grabbed  Rick's ass cheeks, grabbing them and spreading them apart

 

 

Rick pushed his ass down on Negan's  hard dick, as he  jerked his hips upwards 

 

 

he felt the older man's hands  roaming over  his ass and his finger began circling around his opening

 

 

he put a finger in his mouth quickly, getting saliva on it, and grabbed one of Rick's ass cheeks with his free hand, pulling it aside

 

 

Rick felt a slicked finger push in past his muscle  and he stilled for a moment, Negan looking up at  him with such concern in his eyes

 

 

He  bent down and kissed the outlaw, as he felt him push his finger all the way in, filling his hole

 

 

Rick whimpered against his lips, as he  adjusted to the feeling and soon began rocking  back onto the man's finger, as they kissed

 

 

Negan soon added a second finger and the sting had Rick's brain short circuiting as he pulled off the man's lips, mouth parted and eyes closed 

 

 

Negan pumped two fingers in and out of Rick's tight hole as his free hand grabbed the back of his nape, pulling him into another passionate kiss

 

 

Rick reached down between them and stroked their  leaking cocks together with his hand, as both men moaned

 

 

''I want to see you fuck yourself on my cock'' he purred in the sheriff's ear

 

 

Rick damn near came right there and then as his eyes flew open, looking at the older man, who was  grinning  at him

 

 

He took his fingers out of Rick and sat up on his elbows, his eyes flicking just over his shoulder

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows and followed Negan's gaze to the leather chair in the corner of the room and smiled

 

 

Rick got off of Negan, as  they walked over to the chair, naked their dicks  painfully hard 

 

 

Negan sat down as his hooded eyes flicked up to Rick, as a smirk appeared across his face, as he stroked his cock lazily

 

 

'' come here '' he growled, his voice dripping with possessiveness

 

 

 The sheriff's  heart was  in his throat as he walked over to the man and turned around, his back to him, resting his palms on the arms of the chair

 

 

Negan put one hand on his dick, holding it up, and placed his other hand on Rick's waist, guiding him as he began to sink slowly down

 

 

he closed his eyes as his arms began to shake holding his weight up as he felt  Negan's blunt wet head, trying to push in past his tight muscle

 

 

Negan gritted his teeth as he watched his dick slowly disappear into Rick, sucking it dry like a fucking horse that hadn't seen a waterhole for weeks 

 

 

Rick stroked his own cock as he sank down slowly, feeling himself being filled until he was fully seated, sitting on Negan's

 

 

The outlaw ran the tips of his fingers down Rick's spine tenderly and kissed the back of his shoulder blades, allowing him time to adjust 

 

 

'' you ok ? '' he whispered

 

 

Rick simply nodded, adjusting to Negan's large dick

 

 

he used his arms to lift himself up off  Neagns cock slowly, almost letting it  fall out of him completely, and sank back down again until he was seated in his lap once more, pulling an earthy groan from the man behind him

 

 

Rick  hissed as he began to rise and fall onto Negan's cock, the muscles in his arms taut and tense under the strain of  holding his body weight up

 

 

Negan watched Rick's back muscles twist and go tense as he fucked himself  on his dick, small groans falling from his mouth

 

 

Negan took one hand off his waist and stroked his nape, running his thumb over his flushed skin, as he jerked his dick up into Rick as he was coming down

 

 

his head flew back and he yelled out as the outlaw's dick struck deeply within him

 

 

he sat just above Negan's lap, holding himself up with his strong arms, as Negan thrust up into his body

 

 

The strong grip on his nape, moved when the older man gripped both of his  hips, pulling him down as he thrust up into him faster and harder

 

 

Rick grabbed his cock and began stroking it as each thrust hit against that small bundle of sensitive nerves inside of him, making white spots dance in front of his eyes

 

 

 the angle of Negan's thurst was producing sweat beads on Rick's forehead, his whole body alight with electricity

 

 

 loud grunts and breathless  pants filled the room as Rick ran a thumb over his wet slit, moaning  loudly

 

 

Negan suddenly stopped  and Rick turned his head to him, slightly confused

 

 

'' wanna fuck you on the bed '' he grunted out like a neanderthal

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped at the very  sight of the man behind him, sweat drenched hair stuck to his forehead, his flushed red face was sweaty and  his eyes were dark with lust and pure animalistic need

 

 

Rick got up off his cock, feeling extremely empty, and walked over to the bed, kneeling down on the end of it on his knees, his ass in the air

 

 

Negan's hot and sweaty body was soon pressed up against his ass and he felt his hands grab his waist pulling him back closer to the end of the bed, the wet head of his cock at his entrance

 

 

Negan gripped Rick's waist with one hand and guided his cock into him with the other, sliding straight in, the sheriff   hung his head between his shoulders, as Negan began to thrust  in and out, slowly

 

 

his hand trailed  up his spine and grabbed a fist full of curls that lay on his shoulder blades, pulling his neck back roughly, thrusting in and out

 

 

The room was spinning with adrenalin and serotonin as Rick's ass was being fucking drilled from  behind, loud grunts coming from  the outlaw's mouth

 

 

Rick bent down, leaning on his elbows, pushing his ass  higher into the air, making Negan's thrusts go deeper into him

 

 

He could feel the sweat from the man's forehead falling onto his back, small droplets cooling his heated skin ever so slightly

 

 

 

'' So good Rick, you feel so fucking good  baby '' he growled out from behind him

 

 

Rick grabbed his dick which was leaking between his shaking legs and began stroking it, his  mouth parted as each thrust slammed into his prostate, sending shock waves through his body

 

 

Negan put one foot up on the bed, as he grabbed both of Rick's hips , nailing him like he was a fucking hammer and Rick was the nail, grunting and groaning

 

 

Rick was close as that familiar heated feeling in his gut began to rise and he closed his eyes stroking his dick faster to Negan's thrusts

 

 

'' im close'' he managed to stammer out, his mouth parted as each thrust pushed him closer to orgasm

 

 

'' come on baby, fucking make yourself come while  I'm fucking you '' he yelled, breathlessly

 

 

Rick's blood was rushing in his ears as the coil in his belly was about to explode

 

 

''fucking......fuck '' he yelled as he ran his thumb over his wet slit and was immediately  spaying white cum everywhere, his body jerking violently

 

 

Negan continued to thrust in and out of Rick hastily as his rhythm become jerky and Rick knew he was close, as his head swum in  orgasmic bliss

 

 

'' Im coming '' he yelled,  his voice echoing  in the small room, as his body jerked, his grip on Rick's hips bruising

 

 

Rick felt the warm cum being sprayed into his body and the man behind him going rigid

 

 

he stilled, breathing heavily, and ran his hand  down Rick's sweaty spine tenderly, pulling his dick  out

 

 

 that  feeling when Negan took his cock out  left Rick feeling  warm yet so empty

 

 

The older man  crawled up the  bed and flopped down onto his back, his chest rising and falling rapidly, as he started up at the ceiling coming down from his orgasm

 

 

Rick did the same lying next to him, staring up at the small  cracks in the  paint on the ceiling

 

 

'' fuck me '' Negan  finally whispered, his voice still  husky from sex

 

 

Rick smiled to himself

 

 

After a few minutes, Negan propped  himself up on his elbow, looking at Rick

 

 

he  glanced at him out of the corner of his eye 

 

 

'' what ?? '' he smirked

 

 

"do  you really think that Jesus asshole is good looking ?? '' he said, seriously furrowing  his  brows

 

 

Rick looked at him and laughed out loudly 

 

 

'' What ? ''  Negan spat

 

 

'' Youre really asking me that after  we just had sex ?? '' he eyed him

 

 

the older man  was silent for a moment, his expression pensive

 

 

'' yeh '' he eyed Rick

 

 

''No Negan, I don't think he's attractive ok '' he lied

 

 

'' Why are we even talking about him right now  ?? '' he furrowed his brows, curious at why the man had brought the bounty hunter up ??

 

 

''well if something does go wrong tomorrow if something happens to me and I dont come back, I dont want you being happy, moving on and all that fucking bullshit I'm supposed to say........I want you to be miserable, mourn me for the rest of your life,  never look at another man again and you're definitely not allowed to  get fucked by anyone else.......no long haired assholes in particular '' he smirked

 

 

Rick's face fell and he averted his eyes up to the ceiling, his heart sinking 

 

 

'' fuck Rick, I was just joking honey, you can look.....but definitely no fucking  '' he smirked

 

 

'' what if something does go wrong tomorrow ??  ''  Rick sat up abruptly, looking down at the man

 

 

Negan looked at him like he had two heads

 

 

'' Nothing is going to happen Rick baby '' he smiled weakly, running a hand over his bicep

 

 

'' how do you know ?? '' Rick questioned,wide eyed

 

 

'' well I  dont, but nothing has ever gone wrong in any of our robberies......you need to stop worrying, this will be my last job, after this I will be a boring rancher, living out on a fancy-ass property, never to go near a bank or be chased by the law every again'' he smiled at Rick 

 

 

'' Just let me enjoy this last one, please Rick'' his eyes flicked over his face 

 

 

Rick's jaw twitched and he averted his eyes 

 

 

'' hey '' Negan sat up and put his fingers on his chin, turning his head to face him

 

 

''do you trust me ? '' he ducked his head to catch the sheriff's eyes

 

 

Rick looked at him, feeling sick with anxiety that something was going to happen to him

 

 

'' do you  ? '' he said louder, looking into his eyes

 

 

'' please dont do this one '' Rick whispered, his face filled with concern

 

 

Negan sighed

 

 

'' come here '' 

 

 

he pulled Rick down with him as they lay on the mattress, Rick's head on his chest

 

 

'' we will never be torn apart again, I swear to you '' he whispered

 

 

Rick looked up at the ceiling listening to Negan heart beat and he never wanted to  let the man go, as he squeezed him tightly

 

 

'' we've got the rest of our lives to look forward to, after tomorrow, no more running, no more fucking decisions, no more fucking tents '' he laughed, his chest vibrating

 

 

'' it's gonna be so good Grimes, you'll see '' he smiled up at the ceiling

 

 

Rick was silent, just wanting to lay there forever with the man 

 

 

''Are you sure this is what you want ?? '' Rick asked, softly 

 

 

Negan was silent  for a minute and sat up removing his arm from around Rick

 

 

'' yeh,why ?? '' he looked confused

 

 

Rick looked at him unsure of why he asked that 

 

 

'' I just want you to be happy  Negan '' he whispered 

 

 

Negan smiled and  ran a hand down the side of Rick's face, his eyes flicking to his  scar

 

 

''I am baby, I truly am '' he smiled and leaned down kissing Rick on the  lips tenderly, pulling back and looking into his eyes

 

 

'' I'm happy because I have you '' he smiled, running his thumb over Rick's lips, his eyes flicking to his

 

 

''I don't want to lose you " Rick whispered, almost pleading like

 

 

Negan smiled

 

 

''you ain't gonna lose me '' he kissed the tip of his nose, sweetly 

 

 

'' you can't promise me that, I lost Lori and Carl.....I cant '' he averted his eyes 

 

 

Negan kissed him on the lips

 

 

''I will come back, I SWEAR to you '' he whispered, his eyes filled with honesty

 

 

Rick pulled him down and kissed him, softly

 

 

they lay back on the bed, Rick wrapped up in Negan's arms, his head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat made him close his eyes as he drifted off to sleep

 

 

 

 

 

Shane's twisted face was in front of him as it always was in his nightmares, his knife, and his eyes were always the same, but this time something was different, Simon was there, standing in the background, holding what looked like Rick's machete and gun in his hands. Before he could understand any of what was happening a loud gunshot made him open his eyes and sit up in bed quickly, his eyes trying to adjust to the dark room

 

 

his heart was beating fast and his naked body was covered in sweat 

 

 

he glanced next to him as Negan lay on his stomach, snoring softly

 

 

He sighed and wiped his brow with the back of his hand and swung his legs over the bed, his bare feet hitting the cold floor

 

 

he stood up and looked outside, a  hint of the suns rays was just appearing behind the mountains

 

 

he knew he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep after a nightmare and his head was beginning to pound in his skull

 

 

he knew he needed some opium, which was back in his desk at the jail

 

 

he glanced over at Negan sleeping, watching his back  move up and down as he breathed, not  wanting to disturb the man 

 

 

he knew where Rick was when he woke

 

 

he gave the sleeping man one last  adoringly look  as he closed the door and walked down the hallway, descending the stairs 

 

 

The saloon  was completely empty, apart from  some drunk men sleeping it off, their heads resting  on the tables, snoring loudly 

 

 

He didnt notice any of the saviors in the bar area as  he pushed the double doors open, the fresh morning air hitting him in the face like a wet towel

 

 

the street  was cold and empty and a shiver ran up his spine as he walked over to the jail

 

 

he  glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall, it was  5:25 am, still quite early

 

 

He opened his desk and threw some opium into his mouth, followed by some water

 

 

He made himself a cup of coffee and went and sat down at his desk, getting  some  paperwork ready for him and Jerry to collect the taxes that day, a job they both loathed

 

 

Pretty soon The sun had risen, and   the street  was filled with the voices of the townsfolk, horse drawn wagons, and children's squeals of joy as they ran past the doorway

 

 

he glanced up at the clock...8:15 am, Jerry would be in soon

 

 

he was contemplating having another cup of coffee, not even noticing the older  man leaning against the doorframe,  watching  him

 

 

'' Hey '' he said softly

 

 

Rick's heart jumped into his throat and he  looked up immediately, seeing Negan 

 

 

" you left, without saying  goodbye, I felt  like a cheap whore Rick '' he  smirked

 

 

Rick smiled at him, he was wearing his usual black attire with his red bandana tied around his neck,  his hat was pulled right down almost covering his eyes and his coat swayed in the breeze

 

 

'' I didnt want to wake you '' he looked back down to his papers

 

 

Negan pushed off the doorway, glancing  behind him

 

 

'' We are  about ready to leave, Daryl's just in the drugstore  '' he walked over to Rick's desk

 

 

Rick glanced up at him, suddenly feeling extremely anxious

 

 

'' I guess you aren't going to change your mind about this job then ??  '' he raised his eyebrow

 

 

 

'' come on Rick,dont start honey'' he furrowed his brows

 

 

Rick averted his eyes to his coffee mug

 

 

'' When will I see you again ??  '' he mumbled

 

 

Negan smiled down at him 

 

 

''We gotta lay low for a few days, the law will be looking to pin the job on  anyone  who is looking like us scum,suspious  like '' he glanced outside and stepped up to the side of Rick's desk, sitting  on the edge of it 

 

 

''I'll be back as soon as I can '' he ran his fingers through  Rick's curls, tenderly

 

 

Rick looked up to him, his face filled with concern, his blue eyes swimming with fear

 

 

'' Hey '' Negan touched the side of his face

 

 

'' I'll be ok'' he smiled, leaning forward and kissing him on the lips

 

 

'' I'll see you soon '' he winked, kissing him once more before standing up

 

 

he seemed to stand still at the side of Rick's desk and Rick looked up at him

 

 

 

''I love you Rick  '' he smiled weakly like he had some apprehension in the back of his mind about  doing the job

 

 

Rick felt something in his gut twist as if he would never see the man again

 

 

''I love you too '' he whispered, fear in his voice

 

 

he turned and walked out of the jail, the lingering scent of taboo and whiskey filled Rick's nostrils

 

 

A sudden sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach had the hairs on the back of his neck standing up... and he had to stop the man, stop him from  doing this robbery

 

 

he ran outside, his heart jumping in his throat to just see the man he loved  riding off down the street, his coat tails flying up into the air

 

 

"Negan '' he called out loudly,but he had disappeared

 

 

''awww too bad you missed him sheriff Prick '' Simon's snarky voice, drew  Rick's attention to his right where the man sat upon his horse,a sly smirk on his face

 

 

Rick's lips curled up 

 

 

'' I'll be seeing you soon asshole " he winked, as he tipped his  hat and rode off after the others, dust flying up into the air, making him disappear out of  sight 

 

 

The man's words spun in Rick's mind and he  suddenly  felt instantly nauseous, his hands began to shake, his heart was beating erratically  in his chest and the ground began to spin beneath his boots

 

 

he leaned on the door frame with one hand as he pinched the bridge of his nose with the other, feeling like he was about to faint

 

 

he closed his eyes for a second, trying to steady his breathing

 

 

he ran inside to his desk, pulling out the  bottle of opium, his hands  shaking so violently  he dropped the bottle ,spilling  the small white pills out all over his desk

 

 

''Fuck '' he yelled out  in aggravation

 

 

he scooped 5 pills into the palm of his hand  and picked up his canteen of water swallowing them, feeling the taste of bile rising up into his throat, as he closed his eyes tightly,holding onto the side of the desk

 

 

'' Rick '' he heard a muffled voice call his name

 

 

the blood was rushing in his ears, and he thought he was about to vomit when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder

 

 

he opened his eyes looking  behind him to  see Jerry looking  at him, concern spread all over his face

 

 

'' You ok Rick  ??  '' he said, worried

 

 

Rick stood up straight , his head pounding

 

 

'' umm, yeh, no, yeh im fine......I just had......'' he glanced at the pills spilled  out all over his desk

 

 

he ran a hand through his curls and stood up straight, feeling the opium doing their job

 

 

''im fine jerry '' he smiled weakly at him and sat down at his desk, feeling his anxiety fading away

 

 

Jerry eyed him, unconvinced

 

 

Rick looked up at him

 

 

''did you manage to bring me a horse ?? '' he eyed him, changing the subject quickly

 

 

Jerry was silent  and  he wore a worried expression across his face, much like Hershel had done many times previously

 

 

 

''im fine jerry, really  '' he smiled and started to put the pills back into  the bottle, his hands now steady 

 

 

''I bought you my wife horse'' he began, eyeing Rick

 

 

''oh yeh, thank you, I will have to get myself a replacement soon yeh ??  '' he smiled weakly

 

 

Not that anyone could replace Boots, that was a shitty choice of words he thought to himself, shaking his head

 

 

He put the lid back on the bottle of opium and put it back into  his desk, feeling Jerry's eyes boring into him and he looked up to him

 

 

Jerry was looking at him and he averted his eyes 

 

 

''she said if anything happened to him, she's gonna  come looking for you Rick '' he smiled weakly 

 

 

''I'll take good care of him'' he smiled 

 

 

'' Besides, I don't think we can get into too much  trouble collecting the town's taxes   '' he sighed, thinking about the mundane task they had ahead of them for the rest of the morning

 

 

His only saving grace was that Jesus did actually show up and he could get out of it and send Jerry alone

 

 

''oh shit '' Jerry moaned

 

 

Rick glanced at him

 

 

''is it tax day already ? '' he rolled his eyes, dramatically

 

 

'' I'm afraid so Jerry '' he  eyed his paperwork

 

 

''but the sooner we get it done, the sooner it will  be finished  '' he eyed the younger man 

 

 

he folded his arms across his chest, pouting 

 

 

Rick smirked up at him

 

 

''well sheriff Grimes, fancy seeing you here ''  a strangely  familiar yet irritating voice came for the doorway

 

 

Jerry and Rick both looked up to see none other than Merle fucking Dixon, leaning against the door of the jail, with a stupid grin  spread across his face

 

Notes:

sorry if I disappointed a few with my Jesus and Rick teaser, but he belongs with Negan, I know I know..but they just gel together beautifully

 

Jesus will be making more appearances in my sequel to this fic, so look out for that

 

Merle has made an appearance, I wonder why ?? It can only be to cause trouble right ???

Chapter 50

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick's lip curled up  in distaste seeing the older Dixon's smug face, he thought he was  finally  rid of the menace, hoping that he had moved on somewhere that wasn't Black River 

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing here Dixon  ?? '' he looked him up and down

 

 

" Whoa !!! cant a guy come  and visit   his favorite sheriff  without getting the thrid degree ?? '' he grinned, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking into the jail

 

 

Rick eyed him as he sauntered in like he owned the joint, filled with confidence and cockiness

 

 


'' where you been, haven't seen you around ?? '' he looked the man up and down

 

 

'' awwww '' he put his hand on his heart, mockingly

 

 

'' did you miss old Merle ?? '' he grinned 

 


'' like a hole in the head '' he spat

 

 

Merle scoffed

 

 

''let's just say ..... I've been keeping myself busy  '' he glanced at Jerry, smirking

 

 

" deputy '' he tipped his hat, sitting on the edge of Rick's desk, as he eyed him

 

 

'' Merle.....I hope you haven't been causing anyone no grief  ?? '' Jerry pressed his lips together tightly

 

 

 

Merle had a shocked expression on his face

 

 

''who me'' he smikred

 

 

'' When did you get back from the camp  ?? '' he eyed Rick

 

 

Rick glanced at Jerry, not wanting to discuss being in the saviors camp in front of him and he stood up abruptly, wanting to get rid of the man quickly before he opened his big mouth

 

 

'' We are very busy this morning, so if you dont mind.....  '' he gestured for the door, picked up the paperwork for the taxes, and put his hat on, shoving it down onto his head

 

 

''you seen my  little brother ?? ''

 

 

Rick eyed him

 

 

''suppose he dont even care about me '' the older man mumbled, picking at his fingernail

 

 

Rick felt a small hint of  empathy for the fucking jerk

 

 

''I don't know why..... but he was in here yesterday asking about ya  ''

 

 

Merle looked at him, his face  instantly lighting up

 

 

''What did you tell him ?? ''

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

" That I haven't seen ya around, what else would I tell him ?? ''

 

 

Merle nodded, looking at his boots

 

 

''Now if you don't mind..'' Rick  gestured for the door once more 

 

 

"oh yeh...sure '' Merle looked  at   him and turned around, seemingly ready to leave 

 

 

''oh by the way '' he held his finger up in the air turning around, a sly smirk on his face

 

 

Rick sighed pinching the bridge of his nose

 

 

'' Merle we dont have time for this right now ..come on Jerry '' he glanced at his deputy

 

 

" ooh I REALLY think you'll want to hear what I have to say sheriff  '' he spat

 

 

Rick ignored him and made sure his holster was secure and walked past Merle

 

 

''It's about Negan, he's in danger  '' he said

 

 

Rick froze mid step,his heart skipping a beat 

 

 

'' whos Negan   ??  '' Jerry asked instantly  

 

 

Rick spun around his face twisted

 

 

''yeh, I got your fucking attention now  dont I sheriff   ''  Merle smirked

 

 

 

'' youre bullshitting " he spat, eyeing  him, not knowing whether to believe the lying asshole

 

 

"'Am I ??

 

 

Rick glanced at Jerry

 

 

'' Jerry can you go and get the horses saddled up and bring them round front  please '' he glared at Merle

 

 

Jerry was silent looking between the two men 

 

 

"who's Negan ?? '' he repeated 

 

 

'' no one  '' Rick said 

 

 

''Rick, if  someone is in trouble, I think I have  a  right to know  '' he began 

 

 

" just do it jerry for fucks sake '' he yelled, pinching the  bridge of his nose, his heart in his throat

 

 

Merle laughed obnoxiously and Rick glared at him

 

 

''you  shut the fuck up or I will fucking hang you from a fucking noose Dixon '' he spat

 

 

'' Whoa '' Merle smirked, putting both his hands up in defense..... but he  shut his trap 

 

 

 

Rick looked at Jerry who looked like a scolded puppy 

 

 

'' Jerry please '' he smiled weakly, desperately wanting to know what Merle had to tell him

 

 

Jerry eyed Merle and sighed 

 

 

"yeah ok '' he whispered and put his hat on, walking down the hallway and out the back where the horses were held, mumbling something under his breath

 

 

Rick made sure he had gone and his eyes darted back to Merle

 

 

'' ok, Talk  '' he spat

 

 

''they are planning on robbing a bank today, Simon's gonna kill him ''

 

 

Rick's heart leaped into his throat 

 

 

'' Youre lying  ?? ''

 

 

" Simon told me himself, he wanted me in on it, but I told him I ain't taking Negan down like that ''

 

 

'' no ?? even after he  exiled you from the saviors ''

 

 

''he's still me family ,just like Daryl is '' he glanced to the floor

 

 

''Bullshit, you dont care about anyone but yourself  ''

 

 

''I came and told you, didnt I ???  I dont wanna see the boss dead..... not by a fucking trader like Simon, not like that '' he yelled

 

 

'' what bank ?? '' Rick snapped

 

 

''umm'' he looked pensive 

 

 

"Merle " he snapped, his anxiety hitting the jail roof

 

 

''Umm, I think he said Ravensdale''

 

 

''Fuck '' Rick yelled, Ravensdale was the town after   Falls Creek, which was the town next to Black  River, it was at least a good 1-hour horse ride away

 

 

'' you think or you know ?? '' he eyed the man 

 

 

" ummm''

 

 

'' MERLE"

 

 

'' yeh... Simon said Ravensdale ''

 

 

''what time ??  ''

 

 

''midday ''

 

 

Rick glanced at the clock it was now 11:13 am

 

 

"Fuck...if i leave now i might be able to stop him'' he knew he was already too late,as his heart pounded in his chest 

 

 

''youll never make it in time ''

 

 

'' If youre wrong about this or fucking pulling my leg, Merle I'm gonna come back here and fucking kill  '' Rick gritted his teeth

 

 

"Rick, I got the horses ready to ride, " jerry said unenthusiastically, as he walked in the  front of the jail

 

 

''Jerry I need you to go do the taxes by yourself  this morning, ok '' Rick rushed past him

 

 

'' why where are you going ??? what's going on ??'' he yelled panicked

 

 

" I'm coming with you  '' Merle  called out,

 

 

''youre fucking staying here Dixon '' he spun around facing him, pointing at him angrily 

 

 

 he spun back around and ran straight into someone 

 

 

he looked up, it was Jesus, his blue eyes were filled with concerned

 

 

fuck he had completely forgotten all about riding into Woodbury with him and spencer this morning 

 

 

" Rick, are you ok'' he furrowed his brows

 

 

"yeh ..yeh'' Rick yelled hastily, as he ran past him and got up into the saddle of the horse  Jerry had loaned him

 

 

"Rick what's going on ?? where the hell are you going ?? '' jerry yelled from the jail door, slightly panicked

 

 

" just hold down the fort Jerry.......Jesus, I'm so sorry, I have more important business to attend to this morning '' he yelled and he pulled on the reins making the horse stamp its front hooves into the  dirt

 

 

''it's a lost cause Grimes, he's already dead '' Merle yelled out

 

 

"Rick what's going on, is someone in trouble  ??  " Jesus  yelled

 

 

''I can't explain right now '' Rick yelled and dug his spurs into the horse, slightly more abrupt than necessary, as it whined loudly and began running off through the street

 

 

" Rick '' Jesus yelled

 

 

Rick's adrenalin kicked in and his heart was beating rapidly, he was filled with anxiety and anger, anger because Negan didnt fucking listen to him when he said Simon was going to kill him, anger at the man he loved, putting himself in danger, he was fucking furious the more he thought about it. Negan's lack of trust in the sheriff,it  had always been that way, but Negan expected Rick to trust him

 

 

The horse was fast, faster than any horse he had ridden, even his beloved Boots. The  ground became a blur of greens and browns, the earth moving swiftly underneath the beast's heavy hooves

 

 

Rick's mind ran through every scenario as they sped towards their target, Simon that fucking piece of traitorous shit, he was really gonna do it, Rick knew he was, but somewhere i the back of his mind he also thought he was just fucking sprewking,like he always did,he had a fucking big mouth and talked a lot of shit when ever Negan was out of earshot,but as soon as the taller man was back in th picture he shrunk in on himself like the fucking gutless coward Rick knew he was

 

 

he didnt think he would actually have the balls to go along with the deed

 

 

The blood was rushing in his ears, his head was spinning, adrenalin was rushing through his veins, he had to get there in time, he whipped the reins harder as the beast picked up its  pace

 

 

 his heart was literally in his chest, what if he didnt get there in  time ?? what if Negan was already dead, lying in a pool of blood, the saviors gone, he had died all alone, he didnt deserve to go down like that

 

 

The sudden realization of How and when Merle had spoken to Simon suddenly came into his mind, when did they actually speak ??

 

 

he gritted his teeth and flicked the reins harder, yelling, making the horse run faster 

 

 

He finally reached Ravensdale as the sun was at its highest in the sky and he had a flicker of hope he had made it in time, but he knew in the back of his mind that they had left a significant amount of time before Rick, and there was no way he would in hell he would have gotten there before them

 

 

 the main street was busy with people going about their daily business, horse drawn wagons passed him as friendly folk tipped their hats, he smiled weakly at them, being polite and tipping his hat also

 

 

He wasn't  familiar with this particular towns outlay, and his eyes scanned frantically for the bank

 

 

he rode the horse up the street, his head darting from left to right reading the Black painted writing above each store, his heart about to explode in his chest

 

 

finally, at the very edge  of the town, the last building before the land turned to desert, his eyes landed on the bank

 

 

It  was a mistake to place the bank there, what with the ease of a  quick getaway for unsavory scum, looking  to rob the joint, probably why Negan had chosen  it

 

 

several horses stood outside, flicking their tails and stamping their feet, being annoyed by the flies, but no saviors could be seen

 

 

he glanced around and decided to go around the back of the building opposite the bank and watch and wait  from behind the building, he was after Simon and Simon only...... after all, he was by himself, with no backup, and he didnt want to get into a gunfight with the other men, he would surely lose, this wasn't about being the hero and arresting them, it was about saving Negan and potentially finally killing Simon

 

 

He trotted around the back of the building and tied the horse up, giving him a stroke down his nose

 

 

'' good boy '' he whispered, as he snuck up to the corner of the building, looking across the street, if Simon was in fact planning to sabotage this robbery, he would take him by surprise, fucker wouldn't see it coming, he didnt know Merle had double crossed him after all

 

 

 

his  heart was in his throat  physically  about to jump out onto the ground and run away like a fucking coward, his ears strained for any indication the saviors were in the bank, he waited and waited for what felt like an eternity, but was probably about 2 seconds, his anxiety was at it peak and his head began to spin

 

 

maybe Merle was mistaken, maybe this wasn't the town after all....he was going to kill that son of a bitch as he sighed, pinching teh bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine coming on

 

 

suddenly the sound of loud gunfire from inside the bank, echoed through the street  followed by  shattering glass and people's screams

 

 

Rick's body instantly went into  fight  mode as he watched people of the town scatter like chickens with their heads cut off, running into nearby stores for protection

 

 

The  doors of the bank flew outwards,sending  the remaining glass flying off onto the  wooden slates that lined the porch

 

 

he grabbed at his holster, as everything happened so damn fast,4  men came running out of the broken door of the bank holding large white bags of money, getting up on their horses, and riding off in the direction Rick knew they would go,into the surrounding plains without even so much as looking back

 

 

Rick stayed hidden, he wanted Simon, and Simon only and he hoped to gd he wasn't just on one of those horses and was planning on killing Negan after the robbery

 

 

more gunshots were fired as the townsfolk had all but disappeared into the safety of the stores

 

 

another man with a bag came out and Rick instantly knew it was Simon, he recognized the way he moved 

 

 

Negan came out backward, shooting his shotgun back into the bank, his coat flying up into the air

 

 

Rick swallowed a lump in his throat  at the very sight of the man and  he stepped out from his hiding place

 

 

" Negan '' he called out, his own voice sounded small and meek

 

 

The older man   didnt hear him over  the gunfire

 

 

Simon however seemed to acknowledge his presence and turned his head towards him

 

 

''Get outta here Simon  '' Negan yelled, not turning around and firing his gun back into the bank

 

 

''Negan '' Rick yelled out,  louder, as he walked towards the town men

 

 

Negan heard him this time and faced him, stilling 

 

 

''Hey Negan '' Simon yelled out, as he turned to face him, the shotgun in his hand  lowered 

 

 

Rick knew what was coming next 

 

 

"NOOO" he yelled and began to run over, his heart in his throat

 

 

it was too late, Simon fired his gun into Negan's chest, making the man's body seem to jerk backward, but he somehow still remained on his feet 

 

 

Rick skidded in the  dirt, stopping instantly, dust flying up in his face, everything in that very second froze, even his heartbeat 

 

 

Negan looked down at his chest and back up at Simon with absolute betrayal in his eyes

 

 

" NEGAN  '' Rick screamed, his entire boy beginning to shake

 

 

the older man slowly turned his head toward Rick

 

 

" you fucking chose a lawman over me '' Simon  spat with such spitefulness in his voice

 

 

'' I am relieving you of your leadership of the saviors  '' he yelled and fired his gun another 2 times, making the Older man fall  back onto the bank's floorboard with a loud thud, dust flying up from underneath him like a cloud

 

 

'' NNOOOOO'' Rick screamed and ran towards  the man, pulling his gun from his holster and firing at Simon, not even looking, but hoping he would hit something 

 

 

Simon howled out in pain and Rick knew he had hit his target, but right now he didnt give a fuck, all he cared about was getting to  Negan

 

 

 He jumped up on the raised porch of the  bank and fell to his knees by the man's side, he was dead, his eyes were closed 

 

 

he hadn't even had a fucking chance to say goodbye as pure fury began to rise in his gut

 

 

"Negan ..nnoooo'' he yelled wide eyed, feeling bile rising in his  throat

 

 

''get this motherfucker  outta here '' Simon yelled at someone

 

 

Rick looked down at Negans chest, not seeing any blood but it was a bright day and his clothes were black after all, he was about to touch his chest when someone grabbed him from  behind, lifting him to his feet like he was made of nothing but paper and  put a rag  over his mouth

 

 

the instant smell of something sweet yet pungent filled his nostril and he immediately felt light headed

 

he instantly began to   panic  as he kicked and wiggled with all his might, struggling to breathe, as the toxic rag filled his lungs with

 

the person holding him had a tight grip on his arms, pinning them to his sides, as his head became woozy like he had too much opium, he started to go weak and limp  and soon saw darkness 

 

Notes:

Well I did it 😊 50 chapters 😁😁

 

Negan !!!! 🤯🤯

 

whats happened ?? who was holding Rick ??

Chapter 51

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He was standing just off to the side of the bank, watching Negan 's body fly back in slow motion, the blood flowed outwards from his chest, in an unnatural kind of way, like something had burst through his rib cage, instead of the bullet going through him

 

 

Rick yelled, but nothing came out of his mouth as he ran toward the man 

 

 

suddenly Shane  stepped in front of him and he skidded on the loose dirt, trying to stop himself,  falling to  his ass

 

 

Shane loomed over him with a shotgun aimed at his face

 

 

he heard a loud gunshot and his eyes flew open, his whole body shaking

 

 

the first thing he noticed was he was lying down on his side, his hands and feet were bound and tied behind his back  with rope, so tight it was cutting into his skin

 

 

 he had some sort of gag in his mouth like soft cotton, but it wasn't tied around his head, so he could easily push it out with his tongue if  needed, something was over his head, thick but still light enough that  he could breathe easily and see his surroundings slightly, a hessian  bag if he had to guess

 

 

he heard muffled voices and  he remembered what had happened and a sinking feeling in his gut told him  he was most probably  in Simon's company 

 

 

there was a small fire  burning in  front of him, he couldn't  see  any tents or  anything else and he blinked rapidly to try and get his eyes to focus more, trying not to move and  draw attention towards himself, he wanted whoever the fuck had kidnapped him to think he was still unconscious

 

 

his head felt fuzzy and he wondered what the hell was on that rag that had been put over his mouth, something so potent it had knocked him out within seconds

 

 

his heart was thumping in his chest and he felt physically sick..this wasn't the time  to be getting withdrawals- he told himself

 

 

he didnt have any opium on him and his heart skipped a beat at that very thought, he needed to stay calm

 

 

he tried to slow his breathing  and realized his holster was not around his waist anymore 

 

 

''fuck '' he whispered to himself 

 

 

a sudden cackle of laughter made him flick his eyes up  to the fire as he saw a pair of boots walk past him and he stilled,  eyes wide

 

 

'' What do you reckon  the boss wants with a sheriff  ?? " the man spoke, walking past him and sitting down by the fire

 


'' who fucking knows, I dont get paid to ask questions '' another man spoke, sitting  out of Rick's peripheral  vision

 

 

 He didnt hear any other  voices and  knew he was up against two men, that was a start

 

 

He  immediately started to feel around for anything he could get his hands on, to cut these ropes off

 

 

his fingers searched around in the dirt behind him  in vain and he closed his eyes feeling a migraine coming on

 

 

he glanced at the two men as they laughed and he moved ever so slightly backward like a worm, his breathing heavy, his heart racing with adrenaline, as he  blindly  tried  to  find a sharp rock

 

 

suddenly his fingers touched something sharp, he couldn't be sure what it was, but  it was defiantly metal

 

 

he closed his eyes thanking whoever was watching down on him right now and he picked up the object in his fingers, maneuvering it upright, and began to rub it against the rope, as his eyes darted between the two  men who we talking amongst themselves 

 

 

After what felt like hours, his hands were stiff from the angle at which he was cutting,  the rope was pulling, making his skin cut open  and he was getting tired

 

 

 he couldn't even be sure if it was even working, it's not like he could see what he was doing

 

 

just as he was about to give up and his eyes were becoming heavy, he felt  the rope slacken and loosen around his wrists, his eyes flew open and he stilled, his heart beating rapidly in his chest

 

 


 he continued to cut through the  rope as his adrenaline kicked in

 

 

Finally, the rope fell from his wrists, falling to the dirt behind his back

 

 

his throat  was extremely dry  and his eyes darted to the two men, his ankles were still bound and he sure as shit couldn't reach them in this position

 

 

suddenly one of the men stood up and began walking  over to Rick

 

 


'' you sure you didnt put too much ether on that fucking rag Leo, this fuckers been out  for hours " he nudged Rick in the shoulder with his boot, laughing

 

 

 Rick didnt have time to think  as he grabbed the man's boots and pulled it backward, making him yell out in fright and fall to the  ground with a thud, smashing his head on the hard dirt

 

 

Rick  sat up, pulled the bag  off his head, and spat out the gag

 

 

''what the fuck '' the man still sitting down by the fire  yelled, standing up 

 

 

Rick climbed on top of the man and punched him in the face, grabbing at his holster, pulling out his gun, and shooting him in the chest at point blank range, his body jerking and going limp

 

 

he immediately aimed the gun  directly at the other man coming at him

 

 

''stop '' he yelled, eyes wide 

 

 

the man stopped and put  his hand up

 

 

'' Whoa there '' he said wide eyed, looking down at his companion on the ground

 

 

'' Johnny '' he eyed him

 

 

the man was silent

 

 

''He's dead and so will you be.......toss me ya knife Now '' Rick spat

 

 


the man looked at him stupidly

 

 

''Your knife '' Rick pulled the trigger and the bullet hit the ground inches away from the man's boots, flicking dust up into the air, making him jerk   back in fright

 

 

'' Your knife NOW  '' he repeated, angrily

 

 


the man eyed his dead friend and  reached into his pocket pulling out his knife, throwing it down at Rick's bound boots  

 

 

Rick glared up at him and picked it up, beginning to cut through the rope, the gun still trained on the  man

 

 

the rope fell away and he stood up fast

 

 

'' Where are my weapons ?? '' he spat

 

 

the man glanced to the side

 

 

''there'' he jerked his head to the side, pointing 

 

 


Rick  followed his finger   and saw his holster sitting on a rock, rolled up, his gun and hatchet still in place

 

 

he stood up and walked over to it slowly, his eyes and gun trained on the man

 

 

'' who the fuck are you, where am I ?? '' he spat as he bent down and picked up his belongings

 

 

The  man was silent looking at Rick like he had two heads

 

 

'' Who are you ??  '' Rick yelled jerking the gun at him

 

 

'' hey man, we were just told to watch you until our boss came back, ok '' he said wide eyed, hands  still raised in the air

 

 

'' whos your boss ?? '' he spat

 

 

the man's eyes flashed over Rick's shoulder   and he didnt have time to turn around  when  he was struck in the back of the head with something so hard  it made him fall to his hands and knees, dropping  the gun  and his  holster in the process

 

 

''What the fuck Leo !!!! didnt I fucking say to watch this fucker, he's fucking fast..now  Johnny is dead   " a familiar voice bellowed

 

 

Rick's head spun as the  ground began to get  blurry and he sat up leaning on his hands, his head hung between his shoulder blades

 

 

" We thought he was unconscious '' the man yelled

 

 

two boots appeared  in front of Rick  and the person knelt down

 

 

he felt two fingers under his chin and they tilted his head   upwards, slowly 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, coming face to face with Shane, his face twisted in anger

 

 

''I got ya now sheriff '' he spat, with venom dripping off his tongue, and stood up

 

 

''I got ya now '' he repeated and jerked the end of his shotgun into Rick's face, making him see darkness

 

 

 

 

Notes:

pretty short chapter this time, but shit's about to go down...Shane has Rick 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Chapter Text

Rick opened his eyes slowly, his head was pounding through his skull

 

 

he was sitting upright, hunched over, one leg bent at the knee the other stretched out in front of his body

 

 

his  hands were bound with the rope  once more, this time  in front of his body

 

 

small droplets of blood were dripping into the dirt in front of him and he knew that shotgun to the face would have caused a large wound

 

 

he raised his head slightly, his curls hanging in his face, feeling nauseous

 

 

 Merle and Simon were standing over near the fire, in front of him, seemingly arguing -what the fuck was Merle Dixon doing here ??

 

 

'' That fucking bullshit you pulled back there wasn't  part of our fucking deal Simon, you piece of shit '' Merle yelled, pushing Simon in the chest angrily

 

 

''  Why are you so fucking pissy about this Dixon ?? you wanted him dead, we both did '' Simon bellowed back

 

 

'' Bullshit, I never wanted the boss fucking dead ''

 

 

'' he exiled you from the saviors because of this fuck'' he pointed his finger at Rick angrily and saw he was awake

 

 

his face twisted from a scowl into a sly evil smirk

 

 

 

''well, well, well  looks like the assholes awake '' Simon's voice made Rick's face twitch

 

 

Rick tried pulling  on the ropes around his wrists and he hissed as they burned deeply into  his already cut skin

 

 

Simon  instantly aimed his shotgun in Rick's face  and he glared up at him with pure hatred in his blue eyes

 

 

'' just try and get yourself free again  '' he spat

 

 

'' Leo back there  didnt fucking   keep his eye on you, got Johnny killed, but I know how fucking  sneaky you are you son of a bitch '' he turned around and glared at the man by the fire, as he hung his head in shame

 

 

Rick looked over to  Merle, glaring at him

 

 

'' didnt expect you to be in on this, least we  know where your  loyalties lie now  ........ with this traitorous bastard  '' he spat

 

 

''Hey !!  .......I was told to relay that bullshit story to you, to get you to the bank and that was it '' he yelled glaring at Simon

 

 

'' I didnt even know Negan would be there... unlike this sack of horse shit, who organized the whole thing  '' he spat, pushing Simon in the shoulder

 

 

Simon furrowed his brows and spun around

 

 

'' it dont matter what the job was Dixon, you got paid didnt you ??  '' he spat 

 

 

''I wouldn't have taken the money if I knew you were gonna kill the boss ''

 

 

'' I'm your boss now, I'm the  new leader of the saviors  '' Simon yelled

 

 

'' you think Daryl, Dwight or any of the other saviors are gonna follow you  once they find out you killed Negan ??''  Rick spat

 

 

''well prick, they will never know will they,  they will believe anything I tell them..'' he paused facing Rick

 

 

''I've already got my bullshit story   to tell them......there was a  lone townsperson, who shot and killed Negan...he didnt want any scum robbing his  bank, I barely got away with my life  '' he smirked

 

 

''....youre not man enough to be a true leader like Negan was,youre a fucking gutless coward  '' Rick spat 

 

 

 

Simon's  face twisted and he stormed over to Rick, bending  down and grabbing the front of his  shirt, pulling him to his feet, his teeth bared  inches apart from Rick

 

 

'' I'm more of a man than that weak fuck will ever be ......''  a sly smirk appeared on his face

 

 

'' or should I say WAS...., you have no idea how good it felt pulling that trigger and gunning that asshole down, the look in his eyes, ill never forget it '' he laughed

 

 

Rick  immediately head butted him as an agonizing pain shot through his nose and head

 

 

 Simon fell back to the ground on his ass, looking stunned

 

 

Merle laughed out obnoxiously

 

 

'' you fucking piece of shit  '' he  yelled, standing upright, wiping blood from his nose

 

 

 

he stormed towards Rick, punching him in the  face as  he grabbed the front of his shirt collar again, yanking him forward

 

 

Rick immediately spat a glob of bloody saliva into his face and he recoiled back once more

 

 

Merle continued to laugh

 

 

"ENOUGH '' Shane's voice bellowed from  behind Rick and his heart skipped a beat, his mouth instantly going dry

 

 

Rick saw the man out of his peripheral vision, as Simon wiped the spit angrily off his face, glaring at him with rage 

 

 

Rick  kept his eyes trained on the man who had taken his families lives, cut his face open, and been like a fucking tumor growing on  his brain  for years

 

 

''easy Simon  '' he purred in  his  ear, putting a hand on his shoulder, eyeing Rick

 

 

Rick glared at  the man as Simon stepped aside

 

 

Shane flicked his eyes down slowly  Rick's body, and he licked his lips

 

 

''so Rick, we meet once again, and once again you've killed one of  my  men'' He motioned to the man Rick had shot earlier, Johnny if he remembered

 

 

Rick scoffed

 

 

''Dont worry, I'll make sure youre next, along with this murdering bastard '' he  glared at Simon

 

 

" you fucking smug  fucking bastard '' Simon lunged at Rick and Shane held him back by his hand on his chest

 

 

''Just let me fucking end him right here right now '' Simon yelled, gritting his teeth

 

 

''That wasn't our deal Simon '' Shane spoke calmly, eyeing him

 

 

Simon glanced at him and sunk back in on himself like a fucking coward

 

 

''you get Negan  and I get  Rick.......that was the trade off ,yes ??  '' he glared at Simon

 

 

'' Negan wasn't  part of the deal '' Merle piped up from behind the  two men

 

 

they both turned and looked  at him

 

 

''this fuck lied to me, he said I was just going in to set  the sheriff up, nothing about killing Negan '' he snarled at Simon

 

 

'' Oh for fucks sake,  get over it Dixon he's dead, I used you to get the job done, what's the fucking problem ?? '' Simon yelled

 

 

''youre my fucking problem '' he shoved Simon in the chest once more

 

 

'' Fuck you '' Merle yelled and punched Simon in the face

 

 

 Both men  fell to the ground, throwing punches as the man by the fire glanced up from his bottle of whiskey he was nursing, not really bothered about the scene

 

 

''fucking hell you fucking inbred assholes '' Shane yelled turning his back on Rick, trying to pull the two men apart

 

 

Rick saw his chance and he  took a step to the  side, eyes trained on the 3 men, he turned  around to run off when he was met by the barrel of a shotgun, a familiar savior on the other end

 

 

he recognized him from camp, another traitorous  asshole who was constantly giving him the evil eye

 

 

Rick's lip curled up at him

 

 

''going somewhere ya filthy lawman ?? '' he spat

 

 

''were you trying to fucking sneak out on us Rick ??   the fun hasn't even started yet ''  Shane purred in Rick's ear, his chest up against his back

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat  and he swallowed a lump in his throat, tasting bile in his mouth at how close the man was to his body

 

 

he spun around and Shane was inches apart from him, a sly smirk on his face

 

 

Rick stepped back several steps, trying to get some distance between him and the man that made him feel physically nauseous

 

 

his  smirk faded as his eyes flicked over Rick's face, and he furrowed his brows

 

 

He brought a hand up to the side of his face and Rick flinched on impulse

 

 

He ran his fingertips down Rick's scar tenderly as e averted his eyes, his heat in his throat as he felt every set of eyes on him as this fucking asshole touched him

 

 

''I was sure you  would have died that  night, I mean I did  fucking cut half your face off '' he eyed Rick's scar, his disgusting fingers still on his skin

 

 

''Youre one tough son of a bitch Rick Grimes'' he whispered and ran his fingers down to his chin, grabbing it roughly and making Rick look at him 

 

 

'' I'm gonna  enjoy breaking  you until you  crumble  '' he gritted his teeth

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat, he didnt want to show he was literally shitting his pants and he smirked in Shane's face

 

 

'' tie him up '' Shane barked out at no one in particular 

 

 

Simon moved like a fire was lit under his ass, as Merle glared at him

 

 

''Now Rick, we are going for a little walk back to my camp '' Shane smiled

 

 

''I ain't going anywhere with you '' he spat

 

 

''and what makes you think you have a choice sheriff  ? '' he spat the last word with contempt

 

 

Rick bared his teeth

 

 

''im gonna kill you'' he whispered

 

 

Shane's face was stern and he suddenly laughed out loudly, his head falling back 

 

 

'' you already tried that  one Rick and you failed miserably...twice now  ''  he smirked 

 

 

Rick wanted to wrap his hands around his throat and strangle him

 

 

'' Now let me introduce you to some of my associates before we set off ..... Simon and Merle you already know '' he smiled

 

 

'' this  here  is  Mitch, you may remember him from the savior camp '' he  jerked his head to the man behind Rick

 

 

''that there was Johnny...'' he motioned to the dead man on the ground 

 

 

''and that back there is Leo  ''he jerked his head  behind him to the man by the fire

 

 

 

''I dont give  a fuck who they are .....all of you  will all be dead by sunrise '' Rick spat,his heart in his throat

 

 

Shane smirked at him, seemingly unfazed by his threats

 

 

'' look around Rick, youre all alone ...... no one is  gonna come save you this time '' he grinned and walked right up to him, inches from his face

 

 

'' We won't be interrupted this time, you ain't getting away from me '' he whispered in his ear

 

 

'' boss'' Simon spoke from behind him, holding the reins of a horse

 

 

''Simon get the sheriff tied up ready to travel  '' he yelled , taking the reins of the horse off Simon

 

 

'' ok boys saddle up..... Leo put that fire out '' he yelled to the man

 

 

Rick watched in disgust as Simon  walked up to him and tied another piece of rope around his wrists, pulling it tight

 

 

Rick felt nauseous at what was about to happen to him, Shane was right, he was completely alone, Negan wouldn't be swooping in to save him ass this time

 

 

Simon glared at him as he jerked the end of the rope forward, making Rick walk over to Shane, who was sitting up on his horse

 

 

He handed him the end of the rope, which had a longer piece he could use to pull Rick along beside his horse

 

 

''enjoy the walk Prick ''  Simon spat and walked away 

 

 

Rick looked back  as Leo kicked dirt onto it with his boot, making the small area go suddenly dark, the only light was the moonlight

 

 

each man lit an oil lamp while sitting in their saddles, including Shane, and began walking off, Shane jerking the end of the  rope, lurching Rick forward abruptly

 

 

 

he could refuse to walk, protest, hell even let the horse drag him along, but what would that gain ??  he'd only get ripped to shreds from  the hard ground and Shane 

 was only walking the horse at the moment, it wasn't like he was running

 

 

Besides, he needed all his strength for when he got to their camp because he was going to get himself out of there alive

 

 

Simon and Merle rode up front,  Shane and Rick, were in the middle, and Leo and Mitch were at the back, shotguns settled in their laps, eyes scanning the  surrounding lands

 

 

There was quite a distance between the front and back riders, so Rick and Shane were practically alone 

 

 

 

Rick walked beside the horse feeling Shane's eyes boring into his head

 

 

after a good few minutes, he furrowed his  brows and glared up at Shane who was indeed looking down at him, a lamp held up just above his shoulder,shotgun settled in his lap

 

 

''what the fuck are you looking at asshole ?? '' he snapped and faced forward again

 

 

Shane laughed out loudly

 

 

''It's good to see I didnt cut  that fucking sass out of  you when I fucking sliced ya face in half  Rick '' he laughed

 

 

Rick's blood was boiling with rage and he wanted to fucking climb up on the horse and shoot the fucker in the head

 

 

'' Carol did one hell of a job patching you up ......but she was always a fucking magician with the needle ''

 

 

Rick tried not to be surprised he knew she had fixed him up, and he stared straight ahead 

 

 

'' you know,  those people in that camp..... I once called them  my family, yet they were so quick to follow Negan's rule and exile me ''

 

 

''because youre a  fucking murderous, rapist  asshole, who  killed Carol's husband and tried  to  rape her  child '' Rick spat

 

 

'' And what  ?? Negan isn't a murderer ?? ''

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

'' he took over my gang and turned them against me   ''

 

 

''Is that why you had him killed ??  '' Rick spat

 

 

''That was  Simon's thing, not mine ''

 

 

''but you didnt stop him''

 

 

''Simon had his own reasons for killing my brother.....  ''

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

''you know I didnt know you and him .....'' he paused

 

 

Rick glared  up at him

 

 

'' were together, I mean I know he likes men just as much as women, but I didnt think he was capable of love...... not  after Lucille ''

 

 

''you wouldn't have a fucking clue what he's  capable of '' he spat and stared straight ahead

 

 

Shane laughed

 

 

''I know him a lot better than you  sheriff,  I'm well aware of what he's capable of ''

 

 

 

'' My brother  was an arrogant fool, who took everything he ever had for granted, he used people Rick, including you '' 

 

 

Rick curled his lip up, not wanting to hear what the asshole had to say

 

 

''Simon tells me he used you for information''

 

 

Rick's heat skiped a beat

 

 

''he saw  a fucking challenge, he always was  chasing a thrill in life, and godamn if bedding a deputy wasn't a huge fucking win for him ........ '' he laughed

 

 

Rick's anger was boiling again

 

 

'' what the fuck is this ??  '' he  stopped walking abruptly, pulling on the ropes, as Shane stopped the horse

 

 

''Why are you fucking taking me back to  your camp ....why dont you simply kill me right here, right now '' Rick yelled, jerking the rope in Shane's hands

 

 

Shane smirked down at him, the dim light of the lamp,making his face  twist and  look disfigured

 

 

''i dont want to kill you Rick...... well not straight away '' he smiled

 

 

Rick furrowed his  brows

 

 

''now where is the fun in that  ??  I mean death is so fast, so final, I figured  I can have more fun with you when I drag it out longer.......delay the inevitable...i wanna  listen to you scream '' he grinned

 

 

Rick shook his head

 

 

'' youre a sick son of a bitch '' his eyes wide

 

 

''that's what my stepmother always told me '' he tilted his  head, furrowing his brows

 

 

'' fucking whore she was '' he spat 

 

 

''now keep fucking moving  '' he pulled on the ropes as Rick jerked forward, beginning to walk once more

 

 

He didnt know what the fuck he was walking into but his heart was in his throat and he knew he wasn't getting away this time

 

 

he looked down at the dirt underneath his boots and he wished to god Negan was here right now

 

Chapter 53

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick was getting tired, his legs felt like lead  and his head was pounding making him feel sick in the guts

 

 

the men who had captured him hadn't  said a word to him or each other in what felt like hours, as they rode along in a straight line, quietly

 

 

the soft noise of the horse's hooves in the loose dirt was the only sound Rick he could hear

 

 

He   felt like he couldn't take one more step when he saw what looked like a camp up ahead

 

 

 a small fire was burning, surrounded by several   tents

 

 

Shane jerked on the ropes abruptly, pulling  on Rick's skin harshly

 

 

'' well Rick, there she is '' he said slightly excited 

 

 

Rick felt anxious as they neared the camp, what the hell was he in store for ???? 

 

 

They walked into the camp, it was half the size of the saviors with several ratty tents set up in a semi circle, surrounding a fire with  a few horses tied up in the distance, eating grass 

 

 

Several men sat  around the fire, dirty rugged faces from enduring a harsh life out of the land most of their lives murdering, stealing, and raping among other unsavory things

 

 

Each man had a whiskey bottle in their hands and shotguns at their feet as they sat on the ground, the flames of the fire making their faces seem to twist in the shadows

 

 

They all glared at Rick, following him with their eyes as he tried to remain stoic and glared back at them, his lips tightly pressed together

 

 

Shane greeted several men as they came up to him and he got off his horse, one man taking the reins and leading the animal away

 

 

 Shane put his  hand on the small of Rick's back, shotgun resting on his shoulder

 

 

'' Well boys, I  caught us a fucking sheriff '' he smiled

 

 

they all raised their bottles in the air  yelling and cheering like a pack of animals

 

 

Shane slapped Rick on the back and walked away from  him, leaving him standing there with his hands bound, being gawked at by several men, who  he would rather not be around

 

 

no doubt these men who Shane shared a camp with, his so called  friends, though as he did, that rape was ok, it was almost the done thing to do

 

 

The way their eyes trailed down Rick's body was almost enough to make him physically throw up

 

 

he curled his lip up at their faces as they eyed him 

 

 

'' he's real cute '' one said, eyeing Rick

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat at the man's comment

 

 

''isn't he just...but just watch him joey, he'll rip ya dick off with his bare teeth '' Shane laughed and sat down by the fire

 

 

'' I like em Fiesty, more fun when they fight  '' the man grinned at Rick

 

 

Rick averted his eyes, suddenly wishing he was back at Black River in the jail, the boring jail, where nothing ever happened

 

 

'' oh, where are my manners, come and  sit down Rick '' Shane patted the spot on the ground beside him

 

 

Rick stared at him, not moving, he wanted nothing more than to run away and hide right now, feeling like the center of attention, something he hated at the best of times

 

 

''Now '' Shane said more sternly

 

 

Rick stood still, eyeing the other men, who were  grinning at him over their whiskey bottles

 

 

''SIT DOWN ASSHOLE '' Simon's snarky voice bellowed in Rick's ear behind him

 

 

Rick didnt turn his head to him but he could feel his eyes boring holes into the back of his head...this wasn't the time or place to start a fight with the asshole

 

 

he sighed and walked over to Shane and sat down, feeling incredibly uncomfortable 

 

 

Simon sat on the other side of Shane

 

 

'' Boys, boys can I have your attention for a minute '' Shane bellowed loudly

 

 

all the men fell silent, looking at him

 

 

he put his arm around Rick's shoulder and he flinched away from the man's touch, but he pulled him back to his side roughly

 

 

 

'' this here is Rick Grimes..he'll be staying with us for a while ''

 

 

 

the men all looked at him, whispering to each other behind their bottles

 

 

'' He may look fucking fuckable, but I warn you now boys, You will need to be real fucking careful around this one ...... he's  real  fucking fast  '' he took off his glove to reveal several missing fingers

 

 

'' piece of shit cut  my fingers off  before I could even fucking blink  '' he spat

 

 

'' but I reckon we called it  even when I cut open  his fucking face   '' he jerked his finger to Rick's face, laughing

 

 

the men all laughed

 

 

''  Now,  I've got some very, very sad news before we all get  wasted  '' Shane yelled

 

 

"Negan...is dead '' he nodded his head, looking strangely sumber

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed around the fire, as all the  men were silent,  surprised  looks on their  faces

 

 

''the son of a bitch who fucking took my gang, exiled me, exiled most of you sitting here in front of me, is fucking dead...shot here by my very own pal Simon '' he clapped Simon on the back, grinning

 

 

'' I didn't think he had the balls to do it, but he did '' he smiled

 

 

'' so......Here's to Simon..... who finally took out that fucking piece of shit I  once called..... brother '' he cheered, skulling the whiskey

 

 

the men all cheered and hollered, swallowing mouthfuls of alcohol

 

 

'' here have a drink Rick, might loosen you up a bit '' Shane shoved a bottle of whiskey in his face

 

 

Rick looked at it and glared at Shane, not moving

 

 

''come on '' he grinned

 

 

Rick averted his eyes away from him, staring into the fire

 

 

'' come on sheriff '' he laughed and before Rick knew what was happening the bottle of whiskey was being jammed into his mouth

 

 

the glass clinked against his teeth as some bitter alcohol spilled out of his  mouth, stinging his cut lip and he jerked back from the bottle like it was poison

 

 

''  fuck off  you fucking psycho '' he spat at Shane

 

 

a few men laughed but Shane's face stilled, his eyes filled with absolute rage

 

 

''come on Shane, the prick clearly doesn't want any '' Merle piped up appearing out of nowhere, sitting down in front of the fire, with a bottle of whiskey in his hands

 

 

''  he's too good to drink with us scum '' he eyed Rick

 

 

'' Speak for yourself '' Shane smiled at him

 

 

''We ain't scum here are we fellas'' he raised his bottle in the air grinning

 

 

They all cheered and yelled, raising their bottles in the air, taking a swig out of them

 

 

''so Simon tell us how you killed that fuck Negan '' one man grinned from across the fire

 

 

Simon grinned like an asshole

 

 

''it was so sweet boys I tell ya, it felt so fucking good pulling that trigger, fucker didnt know it was coming, his eyes....... '' he laughed loudly

 

 

Rick wanted nothing more than to leap over Shane and wrap his hands around his neck

 

 

''I gunned him down like he was made of fucking paper '' he laughed throwing his head back

 

 

Rick was shaking with anger

 

 

'' POW, POW POW''  he yelled out loudly, making a gun gesture with his hand

 

 

''Fucker went down like a bag of lead '' he smiled

 

 

'' Shane' has given me his blessings to lead the saviors, Im  going to run the saviors my way '' he cheered holding his bottle up

 

 

the men all cheered

 

 

'' The money I rode off  with from the robbery we pulled this afternoon, I'm giving it to Shane, to do what he sees fit with  '' he smiled

 

 

the men all yelled in praise

 

 

''the men back at  camp   will have enough or me anyway, what's one bag between friends'' he scoffed

 

 

''You fucking backstabbing son of a bitch'' Rick mumbled, shaking his head

 

 

everyone fell silent

 

 

''What was that asshole ?? '' Simon spat leaning forward to glare at Rick

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to the other men as they all eyed him

 

 

'' Negan trusted you, you were friends for over 30 years, and  you betrayed him  just so you could  steal his gang, is that about right ?? ''

 

 

Simon's expression was stern

 

 

''pretty much '' Merle piped up

 

 

''You shut it Dixon '' he pointed angrily at him

 

 

''That fuck needed to be brought down a peg or two and I was teh only one with the balls to do it '' he laughed

 

 

''you sure that's the real reason you killed him ?? '' Shane barely whispered

 

 

Simon furrowed his brows

 

 

''yeh,  you know it was .......why ?? ''

 

 

'' I dunno, I thought  you were still hung up on the  fact Lucille chose him instead of you '' he glanced at him

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat.........Simon liked  Lucille ??

 

 

'' bullshit '' she scoffed, clearly embarrassed as red blush filled his cheeks

 

 

Merle burst out laughing 

 

 

''  you are so full of shit Simon, Lucille never gave you  the time of day, she loved Negan and you couldn't stand it '' he eyed him

 

 

Rick looked between the two men

 

 

''How the fuck would you know Dixon, you never even knew them before the saviors'' he spat defensively

 

 

''Cause Negan told Daryl, you had a major crush on her '' He laughed

 

 

Simon was silent 

 

 

'' He treated her like shit....'' he abruptly spat 

 

 

'' when she got sick he took off, he abandoned her, he was  gone for days on end, fucking whores in Woodbury''

 

 

'' who was there for her ??  holding her hand night after night sitting by her bedside....me '' he yelled

 

 

'' he didnt deserve her, she was too pure for this world ''

 

 

'' Is that why you killed her ??  '' Shane whispered, not looking at him

 

 

Rick's heat was in his throat, his mouth open slightly

 

 

Simon's eyes flicked to Shane, angrily

 

 

''I did it for her, to end her suffering, she was in pain daily, she wanted to die, she told me '' he yelled, defensively

 

 

Shane glanced at him

 

 

''well I guess, no one will ever know the truth except you and Lucille....and she's dead  '' he shrugged

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at Simon, could he have actually done it, slit the poor woman's wrists, out by the well.......Negan did say they never knew why she had gone outside to end her life and there was no note either

 

 

'' what the fuck are you looking at prick '' Simon snaped drawing Rick's attention to him

 

 

he looked at him, the vile creature, and he could imagine Lucille's sweet face, her last remaining seconds alive looking up at his twisted face as he murdered her, making it look like she took her own life, all because the sick fuck loved her and she didnt love him back ???

 

 

''you killed her '' he whispered

 

 

''you sick mother fucker, you slit her fucking wrists because she loved Negan and not you ''

 

 

''what the fuck would you know asshole ?? '' Simon yelled, panic in his eyes

 

 

'' I know what she looked like, she was stunning, she would never have looked twice at you, you ugly motherfucker ''

 

 

Merle burst out laughing as Simon's eyes flicked around the fire at each of the men  who were looking at him, smirking

 

 

'' You wouldn't know shit Grimes, We loved each other and that fuck stole her away from me '' he yelled, standing up abruptly  and storming away

 

 

everyone's heads turned as they watched him walk away in a fuff

 

 

the fire was dead silent as the men all looked at each other

 

 

''well boys drink up  because tonight we celebrate '' Shane yelled, making everyone look at him

 

 

They all raised their bottles of whiskey and cheered

 

 

Rick felt like screaming, Simon had  killed Lucille......there was no other logical explanation of why she had killed herself

 

 

he thought about Negan and what he would do with that information if he was still alive

 

 

his thoughts drifted to Jesus, he wished he had gone with him now, a nice ride into Woodbury would have been lovely, better than the predicament he was in now

 

 

He doubted Jerry or Jesus would even be looking for him, they didnt know where he was for a start and he wished to god he had told them, instead of rushing off like a bull in a china shop

 

He might have had a chance of being found if he had just stopped and thought for a minute..but Negan was in danger, and what good did it do ?? he was dead,  he didnt get there in time .....

 

 

The fucking stubborn asshole, he didnt listen to Rick, he got himself fucking killed, he never listened to Rick

 

 

he gritted his teeth staring into the fire, wanting to punch the older man in the face right now, pull  his stupid red bandana off from around his stupid dumb  neck

 

 

he smiled thinking of the man he loved, and he felt suddenly empty inside, knowing he  was dead, he actually saw him being shot 3 times in the chest

 

 

no one would have lived through that 

 

 

His anger began to boil and he swore to himself he would kill that son of a bitch Simon, he would fucking use his hatchet and cut each of his limbs off, he would make it slow and make it fucking messy

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, he was  dreadfully thirsty and his head was  throbbing, he wished he had taken a few swigs of that whiskey before, it would have dulled the fucking agony in his head right about now 

 

 

He was soo damn tried and he was over sitting around this fire, listening to these assholes talk, getting drunker and drunker by the second..he wanted these damn ropes off from  around his wrists too, he couldn't feel his hands anymore

 

 

a man sitting across from  him stood up and walked over to Rick kneeling in front of him

 

 

Rick eyed him, as Shane talked to some other asshole beside him, oblivious to the man's close proximity

 

 

'' Those ropes look real tight   ''  he whispered, his sly face leering at him

 

 

Rick glared at him, saying nothing, wondering if had   read  his  mind 

 

 

''I reckon I could take 'em off for ya  there sheriff '' he eyed Shane  next  to Rick

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

the man's eyes trailed down his body uncomfortably

 

 

'' Why would you do that ?? '' Rick asked curiously, surely he would do that out of the kindness of his heart 

 

 

'' well  sheriff we would be doing each other  a favor '' he whispered

 

 

Rick had a sinking feeling in his stomach

 

 

''you  give me a hot blow job with those sweet lips of yours and ill see about untying those ropes '' he grinned 

 

 

Rick felt instantly sick, and he screwed his  face up in disgust at the man 

 

 

''you put  your fucking cock   anywhere near  my mouth and ill fucking rip it off with my  fucking teeth '' he yelled, drawing Shane's attention 

 

 

the man looked like he'd been slapped in the face as he sat back on his haunches, processing what Rick had just said

 

 

abruptly he slapped Rick in the face, his head being thrown to the side

 

 

'' HEY '' Shane roared, standing up 

 

 

the man looked up at him and coward back like a kicked dog

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing ?? '' he yelled

 

 

'"nothing '' he said quickly, standing up

 

 

'' doesn't look like nothing '' Shane yelled, eyeing Rick

 

 

 

'' you trying it on with what's mine...I told you pricks before I left, when im done with him, you can have him...... not  before that ........got it '' he bellowed, hurting Rick's ears

 

 

the man nodded and sat back down, eyes averted to the ground

 

 

''you all fucking hear me ???  the sheriff is off fucking limits until im done with him '' he roared eyeing the men around the fire 

 

 

they were all silent glancing at each other

 

 

"DO IM MAKE MYSELF CLEAR ? '' Shane screamed, making Rick's head vibrate

 

 

the men all mumbled 

 

 

''WHAT ?? '' Shane screamed

 

 

'' yes '' they all chimed like a bunch of whipped dogs

 

 

Shane glared at them all, his eyes filled with rage his face twisted in a deranged state

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked around the fire, and the men all looked up at Shane with contempt in their eyes

 

 

'' get up  Rick, ill show you where you'll be sleeping tonight '' Shane spat

 

 

''im fine right here '' Rick spat back

 

 

'' it wasn't a fucking choice asshole '' Shane yelled in his face, bending down  and pulling   him up by his ropes, making him hiss in pain

 

 

Rick stumbled over his feet as Shane dragged him away from the  fire , roughly

 

 

 they  walked  away from  the  light of the fire and towards a tent in the back of the others, almost like Negan had put him in the very back of the savior camp

 

 

''get in '' Shane spat

 

 

Rick didnt move  and Shane pushed him hard against his back he almost fell  head first straight into the tent

 

 

''sit down'' Shane grunted as Rick looked around the small tent

 

 

there were two cots and that was about it, not much else or any room to move in

 

 

Rick sat down and Shane sat down on the cot  opposite, glaring at him

 

 

why the fuck was he pissed at Rick, he wasn't the one wanting fucking blowjobs !!!

 

 

'' Why are you doing this ?? ....... why don't you just kill me now, why are you fucking keeping me tied up ??  ''

 

 

Shane looked at him

 

 

'' Cause I  told you I dont want to kill you, it will be more fun to fuck with you Rick '' he grinned

 

 

'' bring you to the brink of breaking, bring you back just enough to make you wish you were dead  and do it al over again '' he grinned

 

 

Rick's lip curled up in anger

 

 

'' You fucking psychotic  fucking bastard '' he shook his head

 

 

Shane laughed

 

 

'' That's what makes life interesting Rick,maybe you should try it.....take that giant stick out of your tight ass '' he grinned 

 

 

Rick glared at him as his eyes trailed down his body

 

 

''you know I've only just come to appreciate not killing you that night '' he eyed him

 

 

'' Youre special Rick, a man just doesn't come back from that kind of injury, that kind of blood loss '' his eyes flicked over his face

 

 

''I can see now why Negan  was  so taken with you ''

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed up to his 

 

 

''you know nothing about Negan or me so shut your filthy fuckin trap '' Rick spat

 

 

Shane's face twitched and he stood up abruptly slapping Rick across the cheek   once more, making him fall back on the cot, his face burning

 

 

'' If You will learn anything from your time here, it will be  showing me some fucking respect '' he roared in Rick's ear, looming over him, his hands clenched into fists

 

 

''I will never fucking respect you, you  vile son of a bitch '' Rick yelled, kicking his legs out, connecting with Shane's shins, making him fall over

 

 

Rick instantly stood up and ran from the tent, his heart in his throat

 

 

" Get back here you bastard '' Shane yelled from the tent

 

 

Rick didnt look back as he darted to the left of the camp, out into the darkness, his head was pounding,his heart was pumping through his rib cage and his adrenaline kicked in as he ran as fast as his tired legs could carry him

 

Notes:

Simon killed Lucille !!!

 

Will Rick get away or be captured ???

Chapter 54

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick couldn't see a fucking thing as he ran through the long grass 

 

 

the ropes binding his wrists together were  cutting into  his skin as his heart pounded through his chest,  feeling as if it was about to explode

 

 

he heard gunshots and men's voices shouting  behind him, he didnt dare turn around in fear of seeing how close they were to him

 

 

he knew if they fired a shotgun into his back, he'd be dead

 

 

He   tripped over something on the ground, making him fall  face down, landing on his wrists  

 

 

He yelled out in frustration about the current situation he was in  and shook his hands around angrily like that would somehow loosen the ropes  but  it only pulled on his open wounds, making them sting

 

 

'' here  piggy, piggy, piggy  " Shane's voice suddenly sounded dangerously  close

 

 

Rick lay still in the long grass, hoping he would walk  past  and not see him lying there, in the darkness

 

 

he heard boots walking through  the long grass, coming closer and closer as his heart  thumped in his ears

 

 

''you know ill find you Rick, I always do '' Shane called, as  he walked right up to  where Rick was lying  and stopped

 

 

he held his breath and closed his eyes

 

 

''I can feel you...... I know youre close '' he whispered, as Rick   press his lips together, in case the maniac could hear him breathing 

 

 

'' boss !! over her '' someone yelled out in the distance

 

 

Shane stood there for another agonizing second before walking off

 

 

Rick opened his eyes and let out the breath he was holding in

 

 

He didnt dare move as he heard several voices  yelling and his eyes flashed from right to left, only seeing the grass

 

 

suddenly someone  was standing over top of him and sat down on his back

 

 

''gotcha '' Shane yelled, from above him

 

 

''you think you can fucking hide  from me ??  '' he yelled and  wrapped his arm around Rick's neck in a chokehold

 

 

 

'' let go of me you fucking insane fuck'' Rick yelled trying to wiggle out of Shane's hold

 

 

 something  cold and sharp was put up to his throat and he froze immediately

 

 

''you know what this is ?? '' Shane whispered in his ear, his body right up against Rick's back

 

 

he knew exactly what the psycho had in his hands, it was the knife he used to cut his face with

 

 

''After all the fucking drama you've caused me and my boys running around out here in the fucking dark, looking for ya,I'm gonna fucking slit your god damn throat open  '' he spat

 

 

He  pulled on Rick's curls, making him expose his neck and  put pressure on the blade  as Rick felt  his skin being cut and he yelled out in fear

 

 

'' You scream......  I'm gonna  make you  fucking scream in a minute '' he yelled and jerked the knife in Rick's throat

 

 

Rick began wiggling underneath  the crazy fuck who he  thought would kill him right there

 

 

''boss '' Merle's voice suddenly came from  behind them both

 

 

Shane's head spun around with Rick's curls still  in his grasp

 

 

''take it easy yeh'' he glanced  down at Rick

 

 

'' you wanted this asshole alive didnt ya ?? '' his eyes flicked up to Shane's, wild and unhinged

 

 

Shane was silent 

 

 

'' ...what about all your plans you had for him ?? ''

 

 

'' He fucking ran from me  '' Shane spat and jerked the knife at Rick's throat

 

 

Rick yelled out, struggling 

 

 

''ok,ok boss '' Merle,put his hands up

 

 

'' but just think of all the fun you can have with him ......you said yourself it's more fun to  fuck  with him, break him '' Merle glanced at Rick

 

 

''I mean dead is so fucking quick, you want the prick to suffer dont ya ?? '' Merle said calmly like he was talking to a child

 

 

Shane was silent

 

 

'' Just think how sweet it will be when he's begging you to kill him, the sheriff on his fucking knees in front of you, begging, pleading  for death '' Merle flicked his eyes Rick

 

 

''wouldn't  it be good to fuck him in the ass, while he screaming underneath you, isn't that what you have  wanted for so long, pass him around the boys, let them show  him what they do to lawmen '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

'' Maybe you can find a more....'' he paused

 

 

''a better way to teach him a lesson '' Merle said quietly

 

 

''One that  keeps him alive, but it sure as hell makes him remember his fucking place ''

 

 

 

Shane was silent and   let go of Rick's curls, lowering  the blade as Rick exhaled a deep breath

 

 

He bent down and nuzzled his nose into the side  of Rick's face and he  flinched at the man's vulgar touch 

 

 

He  patted Rick on the head harshly and stood up, lifting his body weight off of him

 

 

''I think I have the perfect punishment in mind  '' Shane smiled at Merle

 

 

'' Get up  prick '' he glared  down at Rick

 

 

Rick laid  still, his face on the ground,wondering if death was a better option than what he thought Shane had in mind when they got back to camp

 

 

 he was petrified at the thought of him raping him, or passing him around  the men, as Merle had suggested

 

 

but it did seem like the older Dixon brother just saved his fuckin life, Merle the bastard, had given him a fucking lifeline and he wasn't going to fuck it up by trying anything stupid right now

 

 

he rolled over onto   his back and sat up, his curls hanging in his face

 

 

Shane extended a hand down to him and he looked at it with disgust

 

 

 he abruptly grabbed Rick under the armpit and hoisted him to his feet, their faces inches apart

 

 

even though it was dark Rick could see his eyes, those brown fucking eyes he had  never forgotten, ever since that night he shot him in the head when they were struggling for control of the gun, they were burned into his memory and his nightmares

 

 

Shane smiled at him and Rick averted his eyes

 

 

''move your sweet ass sheriff '' he grinned

 

 

 he began to walk back to camp, back to what felt like a prison cell, to what felt like his impending death or worse

 

 

 as soon as they stepped into the camp, Shane grabbed the back of Rick's shirt collar roughly, pulling him to a stop, knife in his hand

 

 

 several men stood  around the fire with shotguns in their hands, scowls on their faces, eyeing Rick

 

 

'' This prick is looking for a fucking good beating, running out on us like that   '' one of them spat

 

 

'' what do ya say Shane ?  should we teach him a lesson he won't fucking  forget ?? '' another  smirked at Rick

 

 

'' No one touches him  tonight '' Shane yelled

 

 

the men all eyed each other

 

 

'' I am about to  teach him a very severe lesson in obedience, one he will not forget  too easily '' he yelled

 

 

'' After tonight  I will be having him as my own '' he spat

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed to him, his heart in his throat, he knew exactly what the sick fucker ment

 

 

''If I see anyone's fucking hands or cocks anywhere near him before I'm done with him.... I'll fucking cut ya fucking god damn guts open and feed em to ya   '' he bellowed

 

 

the men all fell silent, their faces twisting at their leader's orders

 

 

'' you want me to take him back to the tent ??  '' Merle asked

 

 

Shane eyed him

 

 

''Nah Dixon... I can do it '' he eyed him, furrowed his brows

 

 

'' I'm not making the same mistake twice though.........Simon  '' he called out to the man who  Rick couldn't  see anywhere

 

 

'' yeh boss '' his voice echoed behind the crowd of men, pushing his way through them, his face twisting when he saw Rick

 

 

''get me some more rope will ya, gotta tie this fucking pig's legs up, make sure he doesn't run off again '' he spat, jerking on Rick's collar roughly, as he led him away from the fire and back towards the tent he was previously in 

 

 

Rick felt angry with himself that he was caught, angry with himself that he had been duped into this very situation in the first place, lied to, manipulated because of Negan 

 

 

he twisted and struggled in Shane's grip on his shirt as he was pushed back to the tent and practically thrown on the cot

 

 

he sat up straight, glaring at Shane, as Simon entered behind them

 

 

''tie his legs together ''  Shane spat

 

 

''with fucking pleasure '' Simon glared at Rick and bent down beginning to tie his legs together with rope

 

 

'' what are you gonna do to me ??  " Rick said

 

 

''you dont seem to understand the situation youre in here Rick, you know I really thought I had  gotten through to you, but this just proves I haven't '' he shook his head and  brought the knife out of his pocket, twirling it in his fingers

 

 

Rick's eyes instantly widened and his heart skipped a beat

 

 

Simon yanked at the rope roughly and  Rick glared down at him, wanting to kick the smug asshole in the face

 

 

 

''Simon, can you go and get the iron hot  for me, please  '' he said softly and politely

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed between the men

 

 

''what are you doing  ???  '' he said, slightly panicked

 

 

Simon looked at him and  nodded like they were reading each other's minds, as he stood up  and left the tent

 

 

''What are you gonna fucking do ?? '' Rick glared at Shane

 

 

Shane twirled his knife

 

 

''Why do you make me do these things to you, Rick, I mean  wasn't your last punishment  painful enough  ?? '' he shook his head like he was talking to a naughty child

 

 

'' what the fuck are you gonna do  ?? '' Rick yelled, repeating his question, his throat feeling suddenly very dry

 

 

''but you dont seem to understand, I'm fucking dangerous Rick, I thought you would have understood that ''

 

 

''I understand youre a sick fucking psycho '' Rick yelled, beginning to pull on his binds

 

 

Shane shook his head, eyeing his knife

 

 

''you think I  like inflicting pain ?? ''

 

 

''You fucking get off on it " Rick spat

 

 

shane's eyes flicked up to his and they narrowed, a sudden smirk appeared on his face

 

 

''Yeah you're right '' he chuckled

 

 

''I do like it, especially after  assholes try and run from me, I mean youre  just asking for it, ain't ya  Rick ??  '' his smirk faded as fast as it had appeared and his lips curled up in the corner like a wild animal, preparing to attack

 

 

Simon appeared back in the tent, holding a scorching hot iron in his hand, holding the handle with a cloth

 

 

'' Right  '' Shane grinned and slapped his thighs with his hands as he stood up 

 

 

''what the fucks that for ? '' Rick yelled out, his heart in his throat now, looking at the burning hot object that was no doubt about to be burnt somewhere onto his skin

 

 

''you brought this on yourself  Rick '' Shane tilted his head down at the petrified man, his eyes filled with absolute evil

 

 

he pushed Rick in his chest and he  fell back onto  the cot on his back

 

 

Shane  turned him over onto his stomach with ease and  climbed on top of him, one knee on the cot beside  him, with  one foot firmly planted on the ground

 

 

 Rick immediately forgot about the hot iron coming at him and thought he was getting raped right here in the grubby tent with Simon watching on

 

 

he began struggling, his flight mode kicked in and he wanted to get the  fuck out of there, but his bound hands and  legs didnt give him much leeway

 

 

''get the fuck off me you sick fuck '' he yelled, gritting his teeth

 

 

Shane pushed his head down into the pillow, as Rick's heart was  literally  beating through his chest, he fought with all his might, as Shane  struggled to keep him still 

 

 

''hold still you fucking mongrel '' he hissed above Rick

 

 

''Get off me "Rick screamed, absolutely terrified at what the maniac was about to do to him

 

 

Shane bent down, his lips close to Rick's ear

 

 

''Now I'm not gonna lie Rick, this is  really, really,  gonna fucking hurt " he  whispered

 

 

''Please stop, no '' Rick began to panic and he struggled underneath Shane's weight 

 

 

he felt Shane grab his  pinky finger on his left hand, which hung out of the ropes

 

 

'' stop fuckin moving or ill fucking cut more than one off asshole'' he spat  above Rick

 

 

''please no, ill do anything.... no '' Rick pleaded with the madman

 

 

Shane stilled for a moment above him

 

 

''Mmm god damn you do sound fucking sweet when you beg Rick"  he laughed

 

 

''I wanna hear that  when I'm fucking that sweet tight ass '' he laughed sadistically 

 

 

''I'm gonna fucking kill you you son of a bitch  '' Rick screamed

 

 

''But that's for another night '' he whispered

 

 

''fucking do it  already Shane, stop fucking stalling   ''  Simon spat

 

 

''shut the fuck up Simon, this ain't your fucking game asshole '' he spat back at the  man 

 

 

Shane gripped  his pinky  and Rick stilled, suddenly very aware of what was about to happen

 

 

he felt the knife against his finger and he closed his eyes 

 

 

''good boy, hold still and  I'll try and make this quick  '' Shane whispered, strangely tender

 

 

Rick  held his breath, waiting for the inedible

 

 

His eyes flew open as he felt the knife  slicing into his skin just under his pinky fingernail and he screamed out in unbearable agony and fear

 

 

''You brought this on yourself Rick '' Shane grunted above him as he felt his finger being cut off at the first knuckle

 

 

he screamed out and wriggled as his heart was thumping through his chest at an unnatural rate,he literally thought he was about to have a heart attcak

 

 

he yelled and bucked,  his throat was dry and his brain was short circuiting from  the amount of  excruciating pain coming from his finger

 

 

he jerked his head from side to side trying to think of anything but the pain, his curls were falling into his face and all he could see was the fabric of the dirty tent flapping in the breeze  

 

 

A cold sweet overcame his body as  Shane continued to haked at his pinky finger

 

 

The  blade hit his bone,the tent  began to spin and Rick passed out from shock 

 

Notes:

Poor Rick

 

Seems as though Merle was helping him ???

Chapter 55

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

As soon as Rick  opened his eyes he felt an  agonizing pain shoot  through his finger and radiated up into his hand, he was still bound with  rope and was lying on his stomach on the cot

 

 

It was light outside now ,he had been unconscious all night 

 

 

he   brushed his ring finger up against his pinky and  felt  hard cauterized flesh and jerked his finger back from it

 

 

Shane the son of a bitch, had  cut  his pinky off at the first knuckle with his knife and Simon had cauterized it with the hot iron

 

 

he was incredibly  thirsty, his throat was  dry and the taste of  bile lingered in his mouth

 

 

his head was throbbing with the onset of a migraine and  he closed his eyes tightly  .....he hadn't had any opium in  over  24hrs and he knew he would start to get  withdrawals soon

 

 

he began struggling against  the ropes  when The  tent flaps flew inwards and he flung his head to the side to see who it was

 

 

it was Merle

 

 

'' what the fuck are you doing in here ??  '' he spat

 

 

''ssshhh  '' Merle furrowed his brows, glancing out of the tent

 

 

He walked over to Rick and grabbed his shoulder, sitting him upright 

 

 

the tent spun in circles as he swallowed down the urge to  vomit

 

 

''fuck me, sheriff, you look like hammered shit ''  Merle said concerned

 

 

Rick huffed 

 

 

''I feel like it too '' he  scoffed

 

 

''here drink '' he shoved a canteen of water near his mouth

 

 

Rick looked at it blankly for a moment, wondering why Merle Dixon was offering him anything but a huge fuck you 

 

 

"drink '' he urged, brows furrowed

 

 

Rick tilted his head back slightly as Merle poured the cool water into his mouth

 

 

he pulled the canteen away as Rick swallowed it 

 

 

'' more ....please '' he whispered, his throat still  feeling dry

 

 

Merle looked at him and poured more into his mouth

 

 

'' thirsty huh ?? '' he raised an eyebrow  as the last drop of water fell out

 

 

'' look, Simon is heading back to the saviors camp this morning, they will start to ask questions he won't have the answers to if he doesn't return soon.... and I'm leaving  too '' he eyed Rick as he put the lid back on the canteen

 

 

'' I'm gonna go get some  help for you, I can't take on these assholes alone '' he added

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at him, did he hear him correctly ?? He was going to get help ??.......but why the fuck would he ?

 

 

He felt the water swirling around in his gut, feeling  nauseous......maybe drinking so much, so fast  wasn't a good idea

 

 

'' ill go get that  deputy of yours, bring him out here ''

 

 

'' No  '' Rick yelled, making his head vibrate

 

 

'' shut the fuck up "  Merle  spat, glancing towards the tent opening

 

 

''jerry.......jerry will get himself fucking killed, get Daryl or Dwight out here, fuck even Carol  '' he hung his head towards the floor and groaned as  his head spun

 

 

Merle was silent 

 

 

''what's wrong with you ?? ''

 

 

''I just had my fucking finger cut off, what do you think is  fucking wrong with me  ??  '' he spat, like it painfully  fucking obvious what was wrong with him

 

 

Merle furrowed his  brows

 

 

''you sure that's all it is ?? ''

 

 

Rick lifted his head

 

 

''Yeah, why ??  ''

 

 

''cause I know you use   morphine like it's fucking candy......you gotta be getting withdrawals pretty soon, right   ?? ''

 

 

Rick looked at him like he had two heads

 

 

'' Not as dumb as your average inbred huh ??   '' he grinned

 

 

''when me and Negan went into town, he got those pills from the drugstore....opium the druggist called them......I know for a fact he dont take em and no one in  camp takes em, figured they were for you........he was pretty secretive about them '' he eyed Rick

 

 

Rick sighed hanging his head, feeling nauseous

 

 

''I need them ''' he whispered

 

 

''what ?? ''

 

 

''I need them '' he said louder

 

 

''I can't take much more of this  shit without them '' he gritted his teeth, as his brain pounded behind his eyes

 

 

suddenly the tent flaps flew inwards and there stood Shane with a distinct scowl on his face

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing in here Dixon ?? '' he narrowed his eyes at him

 

 

Merle looked like a deer in headlights for a mere second and then smiled at him

 

 

''heard weird noises in here, thought the prick was dying  '' he laughed and kicked Rick in the shin  with his boot

 

 

Rick flinched

 

 

''fuck you, you fucking  asshole '' he spat back, glaring up at him

 

 

'' get out '' Shane spat

 

 

 Merle said nothing  and smiled at him, glancing down  at Rick one more time before leaving

 

 

Shane abruptly grabbed him by the bicep as Merle looked down at his hand 

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat.....did he know that had been talking ??? he was on to him ??

 

 

the two men glared at each other for what felt like hours

 

 

''something wrong boss ?? '' Merle eyed him

 

 

Shane's face was stern but still unreadable ,the fucker could snap at any moment

 

 

a grin appeared across his face and he let Merel's arm go

 

 

'' Nah Dixon all good '' he smiled strangely

 

 

Merle glanced at Rick once more and left the tent

 

 

Shane looked down at Rick and sat down on the  cot opposite him

 

 

''  was wondering  when you'd  wake up '' he eyed him up and down

 

 

Rick hung his head to the ground, not wanting to look at the  man who disgusted him 

 

 

'' Maybe after this, you'll learn to fucking  beave yourself '' he began

 

 

Rick felt the water he had skulled churning in his empty guts, as the tent floor spun from side to side

 

 

''There are rules here in my camp, I dont know what kind of fucking shit show Negan was running, but in my camp.......... ''

 

 

'' Negan was a better leader than you'll ever be, he cared about his people '' Rick spat, cutting off the man's words

 

 

Shane was silent

 

 

Rick felt the urge to vomit and he stood up abruptly

 

 

Shane reacted to his fast movements and stood up too

 

 

''where the fuck you think youre going   ?? '' he grabbed onto Rick's shoulders

 

 

'' I'm gonna  fucking spew you bastard, fucking move '' Rick bared his teeth at the man

 

 

''you ain't going anywhere '' Shane yelled

 

 

He couldn't hold it down any longer and let the bile rise up his throat and vomited  all over Shane's shirt

 

 

Shane recoiled back in disgust as Rick let it all up, mostly water as  his head spun

 

 

''you filthy fucking motherfucker '' Shane bellowed

 

 

''told ya  '' Rick eyed him, vomit hanging off his lips

 

 

Shane looked up to him, absolute fury in his eyes and he slapped Rick so hard he fell back on the cot, landing on his newly cut finger

 

 

''aarrgghhh you fucking piece of shit " Rick yelled in agony  and picked both his bound feet up and pushed them forward, straight into Shane's crotch

 

 

the man fell back on the opposite cot, grabbing at his dick as Rick sat up, but he knew he couldn't really go anywhere

 

 

''get these fucking ropes off me, I'm so fucking sick of my fucking hands being tied '' Rick yelled, frustrated with them being bound

 

 

Shane got up off the cot his face red and twisted and punched Rick in the face, making him fall back on the cot once more

 

 

'' you dont fucking tell me what to do you piece of shit ..this is my fucking camp '' he roared in Rick's ear, looming above him

 

 

Rick closed his eyes wishing he would just disappear

 

 

'' you fucking get me ?? '' he bellowed

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

Shane suddenly grabbed his cut finger, putting pressure on it and Rick screamed out in agony

 

 

'' DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME RICK ?? '' he yelled

 

 

'' yes '' Rick mumbled

 

 

'' WHAT ?? '' 

 

 

'' yes '' he said louder

 

 

''What makes you think you have any say with how shit goes down here huh ?? I'm in charge here, you are my fucking prisoner and you will do as I fucking tell you '' he yelled, making Rick's head throb

 

 

''I will not take those ropes off, cause you are behaving like a fucking wild animal and wild animals get tied up ''

 

 

''fuck you '' Rick whispered

 

 

he felt a sharp punch to his head as Shane hit him in the side of the face

 

 

''you will learn to respect me Rick '' he yelled

 

 

the tent flaps flew inwards and Simon stood there

 

 

''everything ok in here boss ??'' he eyed Rick who was face down on the cot

 

 

'' just teaching this prick some manners '' he spat, rubbing his knuckles

 

 

Simon scoffed

 

 

''piece of shit needs more than a good fucking beating '' he spat

 

 

'' look me and Merle are ready to leave '' he jerked his thumb over his shoulder

 

 

''ok ''  Shane said and walked out of the tent, leaving Rick and him alone

 

 

Simon walked over to Rick and knelt down 

 

 

''No ones coming for you this time asshole........Shane's gonna rip you apart.....the next time I come and visit you'll be skinned and gutted up on a fucking pole out there  '' he laughed, pointing outside

 

 

Rick lifted his head and spat vomit filled salvia  directly in his face 

 

 

he fell back on his ass, coughing and wiping his face with the back of his hand

 

 

''you disgusting piece of shit '' he yelled, his face twisted in disgust

 

 

he raised his hand to hit Rick when the tent flaps flew inwards again

 

 

''Simon '' Shane spat 

 

 

Simon glanced  up at him  and stood up, wiping his face again,  glared down at Rick

 

 

''dirty fuck'' he spat and stormed out of the tent 

 

 

Rick could feel shane's presence behind him but didnt turn his head to look at him

 

 

 the tent flaps rustled and he turned his head, Shane was gone and he let out  a breath he didnt realizes he was holding in 

 

 

 he heard some  loud  voices and horses neighing outside the tent and assumed Simon and Merle were leaving

 

 

He had  a sudden feeling of dread in the pit of his  stomach at  being left with these bunch of fucking insane, animals 

 

 

he knew he was now alone, even with Merle there he felt he at least had someone on his side, now he was gone he  felt more anxious.....even more, anxious of the thought that  Merle Dixon  was his only hope of getting out of this shit hole alive

 

Notes:

Should Rick put his faith in Merle Dixon ??

how long will he take to get help and will Rick be ok without his opium ???

Chapter Text

The day turned into night and Rick knew he couldn't hold his bladder a second longer

 

 

he felt humiliated and disgusted  with himself  as  his urine soaked through his pants and dripped down onto the floor beneath him 

 

 

This had  to be rock bottom ??  having  been reduced to   pissing  himself  because he had been  tied up  like a fucking animal   for over 24  hours

 

 

he gritted his teeth feeling extremely uncomfortable laying in his own piss, as  the smell of urine filled  the tent

 

 

 he pulled on the ropes around his wrists angrily, he was furious  that he couldn't do anything with his hands tied up, he was sick of being tied up, he was stiff from lying in the same position, and his muscles and body ached

 

 

his thoughts drifted to Merle

 

 

the man never did say why he was helping him ?? it was no secret they despised each other, he was a loud mouthed drunk with an irritating habit of causing trouble where ever he went, and now he was going to help Rick, but why ?? 

 

 

unless he was fucking with him ?? telling Rick he would bring back help and actually never return..but it had been at least 24 hours now since he left and there was still no sign of him

 

 

he wondered what bullshit story Simon had told the saviors about where  Negan was and what had happened to him ??

 

 

he wondered what had happened to the man's body  ?? probably in the town's cemetery.......but he was  robbing their bank, they probably just dug a hole somewhere isolated and threw dirt over him, not even giving him a headstone

 

 

Rick missed him,  he just wanted to see his face one more time, he'd give anything to see that  stupid fucking grin, just once more

 

 

he  felt rage boiling in his veins, anger that Simon had betrayed Negan, anger that Simon had handed him over to Shane, anger  at Shane for just leaving him in this fucking tent  to fucking die of thirst, or worse

 

 

He began thrashing around the cot again and hit his severed finger

 

 

He screamed   out in pain and frustration, jerking his whole body around like a fish out of water on the cot, pulling on the ropes, cutting into his skin

 

 

he began yelling out 

 

 

''Shane '' he called out  loudly

 

 

''Shane get in here you son of a bitch '' he bellowed 

 

 

''Shane  I wanna talk to you ''

 

 

''shanennnnnneeee'' he screamed making his head throb 

 

 

suddenly the tent flaps flew inwards and one of Shane's goons stood there with a scowl across his face 

 

 

''What are you fucking yelling about  in here, asshole   ??  '' he spat, walking in

 

 

He stilled abruptly  and screwed  his nose up, looking down at Rick

 

 

'' what's that fucking smell ??  '' he looked  around the tent 

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

the man leaned further over Rick,his face twisting

 

 

'' did you piss ya self ?? '' he eyed him

 

 

Rick was silent

 

 

''you did didnt ya, you dirty son of a bitch '' he laughed

 

 

Rick's curled his lips up in anger

 

 

''what do you expect, you fuckers have kept me tied up in here  for over 24 hours like a fucking animal '' he yelled 

 

 

the man  furrowed his brows and  sat down on the cot opposite Rick, his eyes roamed over his body quickly  and he glared at him

 

 

" what do you think this is huh???  a fucking hotel,youre our prisoner, and prisoners dont get  untied '' he kicked the cot leg with his boot, making the entire thing shake

 

 

''Fuck you " Rick gritted his teeth, pulling at the ropes on his wrist once more 

 

 

'' you know the boss said you were off limits '' he eyed Rick's body as his eyes flicked back to his face

 

 

'' But  it dont look like he's using you, he's just left you lying in  here, right under our fucking noses '' he licked his lips

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat

 

 

''you fucking touch me and ill fucking kill you '' he spat, feeling suddenly very vulnerable 

 

 

 

the man looked at Rick and barked out laughing

 

 

 

''and how are you gonna do that sheriff  ?? you are complete fucking helpless ''

 

 

 

'' I mean   you just pissed ya own pants '' he laughed

 

 

Rick  pulled on the ropes, helplessly

 

 

''I mean  I could literally do whatever I wanted to you and you couldn't do  fucking thing about it  '' he grinned an evil smirk 

 

 

Rick knew he was right, but didnt let the fear  show on his face

 

 

'' you fucking touch me and ill tell Shane '' he spat, hating the way he sounded so pathetic with the threat of dobbing on him

 

 

''I can say you tried to escape and I had no other choice but to shoot you, with this '' he pulled out his gun from behind his back, holding it in the air

 

 

Rick eyed it

 

 

'' Now tell me sheriff...are you a virgin ??  " he whispered eyes trailing down Rick's body

 

 

Rick was silent, his lip curled up

 

 

''I  like virgins.......I like the way they scream '' he laughed, throwing his head back 

 

 

''you fucking animal'' Rick spat 

 

 

the man stopped laughing abruptly and glared at him

 

 

''I like the way they bleed too ''  he ran his tongue along  his gun and Rick's heart jumped

 

 

'' Now what do you say you and me  have some fun huh ?? '' he grinned 

 

 

'' get the fuck away from me you sick fuck '' Rick yelled, starting to panic 

 

 

''come on now, dont be like that, I promise I'll  be gentle  '' the man stood up abruptly and grabbed  Rick's shoulder turning him on his side and sitting him upright

 

 

the sudden change in position made Rick's head spin

 

 

he was suddenly picked up and thrown over the man's shoulder, the blood rushed to his head as he hung upside down

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing, put me down '' Rick snapped, struggling

 

 

the man laughed at his attempts to get free

 

 

''no use fighting, won't do ya any good '' he said as they exited the tent 

 

 

they began walking away from the camp, into the long grass as Rick's heart beat loudly

 

 

'' let me fucking go you asshole, I'll fucking kill you '' Rick yelled squirming 

 

 

the man ignored him as he kept walking further away from camp, into  the bush, as Rick tried his best to struggle, his heart now in his throat

 

 

'' here looks pretty good '' he said and  dumped Rick off his shoulder like a sack of potatoes

 

 

'' fucking bastard '' he mumbled as his whole body hit the ground roughly

 

 

''ok on ya knees '' he demanded looming over Rick, gun aimed at his head

 

 

''you put your dick near my  mouth and ill fucking bite it off '' Rick spat, looking up at the man

 

 

he simply laughed above him

 

 

''you do that and ill fucking put a bullet through your head '' he smirked jerking his gun toward rick

 

 

"now get on ya knees ''he demanded

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked to his holster and he saw a knife handle in the moonlight 

 

 

'' Now After you give me a real nice blow job, I'm gonna fuck your tight virgin ass with my cock  '' he laughed

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at the man's crude word

 

 

''untie me first '' Rick  blurted out 

 

 

the man furrowed his brows at Rick 

 

 

''  Now why would I do a silly thing like  that ?? ........ you only need  your mouth '' he grinned  

 

 

''I need my hands free  ''

 

 

''how dumb do you think I am ?? '' he tilted his head, gritting his teeth

 

 

-pretty fucking stupid to be putting his dick anywhere near Rick's teeth actually -

 

 

''  now .....youre gonna swallow what I give you to swallow, or you'll get a fucking bullet through your ear '' he spat, bending down and pulling Rick to his knees, by his hair

 

 

Rick hissed in pain and his  lip curled up in the corner as his eyes flicked  to the  man's crotch

 

 

'' the names Roger by the way  '' the man mumbled

 

 

''I dont give a fuck '' Rick spat 

 

 

Roger got real close to Rick, his crotch almost touching his nose, gun pressed to his temple and his free hand rested on the back of Rick's head

 

 

Rick glanced at the knife handle again as the  noise of a zipper coming undone drew his  attention back to the front, where a  semi hard cock swayed in his face  

 

 

Rick looked at it in disgust

 

 

Roger took a handful of Rick's curls in his hand, gripping them tightly, and  pressed the gun to the side of his temple

 

 

'' start sucking......nice and slow  '' he grunted like a neanderthal

 

 

Rick glared up at him with pure hatred

 

 

the man looked down at him and grinned, pushing the gun in harder  his skin

 

 

"  well come on, it won't suck  itself '' he growled

 

 

Rick  licked his lips, he needed this fucker to drop that gun in his hands, he needed to distract him  

 

 

the man pulled on his curls roughly 

 

 

'' SUCK..or ill fucking kill you  " he bellowed 

 

 

Rick  raised himself up on his knees slightly and enclosed his mouth  around the man's dick, the taste of salt and something  unclean hit his tongue immediately, as Roger moaned above him softly 

 

 

 

 he used his tongue, doing what he knew Negan liked, and ran it along the underside of Roger's now  fully erect penis

 

 

He seemed to approve, as he groaned

 

 

'' God fucking damn sheriff '' He  whispered, gripping Rick's curls

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked to the side of him, seeing the gun still firmly in the man's hands and he flicked his tongue over the head, watching his hand falter just so that he dropped the gun  ever so  slightly

 

 

'' your mouth is better than any whores I've ever had around my cock '' he praised Rick

 

 

Rick wanted to bite his dick off, but he couldn't risk being shot in the head, he needed him more relaxed  first

 

 

he bobbed up and down on the man's dick, not using his hands was a little awkward, but it's not like he had a choice

 

 

he hollowed his cheeks around the head, flicking his tongue over it, as salvia started coming out of his mouth

 

 

the man damn near growled like an animal and gripped Rick's curls hard, pulling  him forward, making his dick go right down his throat

 

 

Rick  pulled back coughing and choking, as the man laughed

 

 

He glared up at him with watery eyes, feeling pure rage and embarrassment running through his veins.....but he needed this fuck to think he was cooperating 

 

 

he continued sucking on Roger's cock as he bobbed up and down, quickly 

 

 

''God fuck, youre gonna make me come soon sheriff ......and you're gonna take whatever I give you to take, got it ?? '' He pushed the gun into his temple, glaring down at him

 

 

Rick simply nodded, knowing the fucker was close to cumming as   his heart began beating rapidly 

 

 

''Good boy '' Roger whispered

 

 

Rick made sure he swirled his tongue around the head and flicked it as Rodger tilted his head back, moaning loudly 

 

 

His hold on the gun was getting slacker in his hands, as it  began to point  down towards the ground

 

 

'' fuck me.... right there " Roger moaned, his eyes closed

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked up to him and back to the gun, which was now almost falling out of his hand

 

 

this was his chance and he closed his eyes in fear it could all go terribly wrong and he'd be killed

 

 

He abruptly  bit down as hard as he could onto Roger's cock with his teeth, instantly tasting blood 

 

 

The blood curdling scream that followed would no doubt haunt Rick  till the  end of his life

 

 

the gun went off and Rick flinched thinking he was shot, but he couldn't feel anything

 

 

the soft  flesh and blood  between his teeth felt undeniably disgusting, as the man howled out in agony above him, jerking and trying to pull Rick off his dick

 

 

He suddenly  received  a punch to the side of the head and he knew it was now or never, there was no going back, he couldn't just let go

 

 

he jerked  his head to the side, ripping the man's penis off with his bare teeth, like a rabid animal tearing flesh from a carcass, as blood  rushed into his mouth  and down his throat

 

 

a chilling  scream echoed through the air  and Roger  fell back onto the ground on his ass, howling in pain, holding his bloody crotch

 

 

Rick spat the foul piece of flesh out onto the grass, coughing and choking on the blood, trying to spit it out  as he felt like vomiting 

 

 

Roger was screaming like a wounded animal, as blood gushed out of the  pants onto the long grass

 

 

Rick glanced over at him, the look on his face was terror, pure terror, and fear

 

 

he thought he should put the poor bastard out of his misery with the gun, but he didn't, he just stared at him, bleeding out onto the ground

 

 

Roger suddenly sat up and flew at Rick in an unnatural way like he was floating and landed on top of him

 

 

''im gonna fucking kill you '' he gritted his bloody teeth together and put his hands around Rick's neck, squeezing hard

 

 

Rick couldn't move, Roger  was pinning him  against the ground  and  he began to panic as the man's  grip around his throat was restricting  his breathing 

 

 

he could feel the warm blood seeping into  his own pants and he tried his hardest to push the man off with his bound hands

 

 

'' youre fucking dead lawman  '' Roger yelled, slightly slurred this time as his grip around Rick's neck got  looser abruptly

 

 

Rick looked into his eyes as his face was losing its color fast and he suddenly  coughed up  blood all onto Rick's face

 

 

Rick threw his head to the side  in disgust as Roger made a strange noise in the back of his throat and fell abruptly onto Rick's chest

 

 

everything was  suddenly eerily silent as Rick's eyes flicked from left to right, hastily

 

 

he pushed the man's dead weight off him, and he  fell onto his back onto the  grass beside him

 

 

Rick lay there  dumbfounded for a moment, getting his breath back, staring up at the blue sky

 

 

it had actually worked, he had done it, he killed the bastard......

 

 

he sat up  and fished the  knife out of the dead man's pocket, and  began  to cut the  ropes off his ankles

 

 

they fell free,as he rubbed the skin there, desperate to get the ones off his wrists

 

 

It was difficult  with his wrists bound, so  he put the handle of the knife between his boots, holding it steady, and moved his bound  wrists up and down against the blade

 

 

it took forever and his  heart was pounding in his ears, the sick animals could return to camp at any moment and notice he was missing

 

 

finally, the ropes fell free and he closed his eyes momentarily, inhaling a deep breath

 

 

he hissed in pain as the fresh night air hit his burnt skin, it  was red and bloody, rubbed raw and blistered

 

 

he  grabbed Roger's gun, before standing up and putting the knife in  his boot, so no one  would notice he had it

 

 

he glanced down at the man lying in a pool of blood, his eyes were wide open in a look of horror, the bloody mess that was once his penis looked like wild animals  had devoured it 

 

 

he furrowed his brows at the body and wondered if the man did indeed deserve such a horrid and slow death........

 

 

 He   looked towards the camp, he needed a horse to get the hell out of here in a hurry, but what if he was caught going back  there, he should just run now, he had a gun and a knife in his possession

 

 

Against his better judgment, he ran back to the inner camp, stopping behind a tent and looking around

 

 

The fire was burning  and he noticed a horse tied up to  a tree and assumed it must be Rogers,  no one else could be seen 

 

 

his eyes fell on a water canteen sitting  by the fire  and his mouth watered just looking at it 

 

 

he looked around as his heat pounded in his chest and ran over to it, putting the gun in the back of his pants

 

 

He picked it up, washing his mouth out first, spitting bloody colored water out onto the ground, and then skulling the rest

 

 

he dropped the canteen on the ground and ran over to the horse and undid its reins from the tree

 

 

it wasn't saddled, but he would ride bareback just to get the fuck out of here

 

 

 the  distinct noise of a gun trigger being pulled made him freeze, and  his  hands began shaking 

 

 

''now how the hell did you get free sheriff ??  ''  Shane's voice was smooth as silk and it made a shiver run down Rick's spine .........he was caught once again

 

 

Rick screwed his eyes shut tightly, he couldn't go back in that tent and be tied up like a dog, he couldn't

 

 

'' Now put  that piece of shit you got in the back of ya pants down on the ground  and turn around nice and slow for me  '' Shane purred

 

 

''where the fuck did he get a gun from anyway ?? '' one man said

 

 

" wheres Roger ??  " another asked

 

 

Rick's heart was in his throat, he had been so fucking close this time, he was alone in the camp, he was right there with his hands on the horse's reins

 

 

'' TURN AROUND '' Shane bellowed loudly, making the horse jerk its head back  in fright 

 

 

Rick knew he would no doubt have several shotguns currently aimed at his back and it would be suicide to try anything

 

 

he hung his head and pulled the gun from his pants

 

 

'' real slow now  asshole '' Shane warned

 

 

he dropped the gun into the dirt angrily, cursing himself, if he hadn't  have stopped for the water, maybe he would have gotten away 

 

 

'' good boy .......Now turn around '' Shane said calmly

 

 

he sighed and turned around slowly, his eyes trained on the ground

 

 

the men were silent, no doubt seeing what state Rick was in, covered in blood

 

 

''whose blood is that all over  his face ? '' one man said quietly 

 

 

Ricks' eyes flicked up to them, his hands clenched into fists

 

 

'' wheres Roger ?? '' another man asked 

 

 

" go find him, I want a fucking word with him as to  how exactly this asshole got loose and almost fucking escaped once AGAIN '' Shane roared, glaring at Rick 

 

 

''he's dead '' Rick mumbled

 

 

the men were silent eyeing him 

 

 

"what ?? '' Shane spat 

 

 

Rick glared at him 

 

 

'' he tried to rape me, so I ripped his filthy cock from his body with my teeth and watched him bleed out '' he smirked, feeling cocky

 

 

Shane's face froze as the men behind him flicked their eyes to him and back at Rick,wide eyed

 

 

there was a tense silence amoungst the men 

 

 

''boss " one man spoke, looking at Shane concerned

 

 

''He's out past the camp borders '' Rick spat

 

 

'' FIND HIM " Shane yelled, gritting his teeth

 

 

Two  men scurried off like  obedient dogs, as the others glared at Rick

 

 

'' you should have killed this prick that first night we caught him '' one man yelled, pointing his shotgun at Rick

 

 

''fuck this, ill fucking kill him myself '' another stepped forward

 

 

'' NO '' Shane bellowed

 

 

'' he admitted he  killed Roger  boss  '' he  pointed angrily at Rick

 

 

'' kill him '' another man yelled

 

 

''I said put the fucking gun down, he dies when I say he dies'' Shane yelled

 

 

'' we dont know he's killed Roger yet, the prick could be drunk somewhere'' he added

 

 

''look at his fucking face, whose blood is it, if not Rogers  ?? '' another man yelled

 

 

''I killed him, I watched him  die a fucking slow, painful death..... just like all of you are going to  '' Rick smirked, feeling cocky

 

 

''You son of a bitch " a man suddenly charged at Rick   and Shane held him back with his hand on his chest

 

 

''easy  William ''    he eyed the man 

 

 

he glared at Rick and stalked toward him

 

 

Rick's smirk disappeared quickly, maybe he was being too fucking cocky, he was still surrounded and out numbered by Shane's men 

 

 

'' you think this is a game sheriff ?? '' he narrowed his eyes 

 

 

''you think we are the kind of men to fuck with.......kill, and we  will just turn a blind eye  ?? '' he bared his teeth

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes to the men behind him, their faces twisted, guns pointed at him

 

 

''YOU LOOK AT ME  ''  Shane roared

 

 

Rick's eyes flashed back   to the mad man as he stalked closer

 

 

''Maybe I've been too  fucking lenient on you ?? '' he eyed Rick up and down

 

 

Rick swallowed a lump in his throat as he took a step back slightly

 

 

''Maybe slicing  the tip of your finger off  wasn't enough........ " he snarled

 

 

''wasn't enough to show you what  I am capable of, what my men are capable of '' he spat

 

 

''I know exactly what we capable of ...you bunch of sick motherfuckers '' Rick spat,  glaring at Shane

 

 

Shane stopped mid step and stared at Rick

 

 

'' boss '' the two men  came running back, out of breath

 

 

'' he's dead..''  one said,   breathlessly, hunched over, his hands on his knees

 

 

'' he's out past the camp borders, his fucking dick...'' he shook his head in disgust

 

 

''the dirty son of a bitch bit it clean off '' the other man glared at Rick

 

 

Shane turned and faced Rick

 

 

'' ...what ?? he tried to rape me, you think I was just gonna lay down and let it happen ?? .. ...fucker got what he deserved   '' Rick shrugged, like it was just another day 

 

 

Shane's lip curled up in the corner

 

 

''blood fucking everywhere boss, it's a fucking mess out there '' the man said, pointing out towards the body

 

 

Shane was silent as he pinched the bridge of his nose

 

 

Rick suddenly felt very vulnerable, maybe he had gone too far ??

 

 

''What did I say to you bastards ?? " he yelled, abruptly

 

 

''I told you this son of a bitch was fucking cunning,I told you to be on ya fucking toes around him......didnt I  ? '' he yelled to the men behind him,jerking his head to the side

 

 

''I also told you fucks that he was off limits .....''

 

 

''Now Rogers dead " he spat

 

 

''he's dead because he didnt fucking listen to me '' he bellowed

 

 

''he thought with his dick instead of his fucking head and now he's dead " he screamed

 

 

his eyes  flashed back to Rick, filled with rage and contempt

 

 

'' Get this prick to the ground.....'' he growled

 

 

Rick's eyes became wide with fear

 

 

''it's about fucking time '' one man spat, as several men began storming toward Rick, guns in their hands and  faces twisted

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat and  before the men could get a hold of  him, he bent down pulling the knife from his boot, stabbing blindly at anything he could

 

 

a howl of pain followed as he felt the knife sticking into someone's flesh 

 

 

'' he's fucking stabbed me " one man yelled out in shock

 

 

''He's got a knife, get it "  another  yelled 

 

 

'' hold that piece of shit down  " Shane bellowed from behind the crowd of men surrounding him

 

 

a mass of hands grabbed at him, pushing him to the ground, firmly holding his arms and legs, grabbing the bloody knife from his hand

 

 

''You ok Clarence ?? '' Shane asked

 

 

the man was silent, looking down to his stomach wide-eyed, as blood stained his shirt 

 

 

''Yeh I think so boss  '' the man mumbled, looking pale

 

 

'' Get him on his stomach..... I'm gonna show him what I do to assholes that kill our friends '' he spat, eyes wide and psychotic

 

 

Rick didnt have time to comprehend what was said as he was manhandled and turned over roughly, his chin hitting the hard dirt

 

 

''get off me you fuckings sick bastards'' he screamed struggling with all his might

 

 

the men surrounding him simply  laughed and each had ahold of his limbs, holding him down with their combined body weight, Rick was helpless, unable to move

 

 

his curls hung in his face and his heart was about to explode in his chest, he was about to be raped

 

 

''Now I know Negan was sticking it to ya, so you ain't no virgin '' Shane growled looming over the top of him

 

 

''fuck me that would have been sweet, fucking your virgin ass, making you bleed as you made Roger bleed '' Shane growled

 

 

''the fuck deserved it '' Rick yelled, struggling under the men's weight

 

 

Shane laughed

 

 

''fuck me Rick, you are really something......you know  the horrendous shit I'm about to do to you, let my boys do to you, yet  you're still running your  fucking  mouth '' Shane laughed

 

 

he knelt down next to Rick and grabbed a fist full of his curls, jerking his head up

 

 

''but dont worry ill fucking rip that cockiness out of you ....what do you reckon boys ?? '' he growled

 

 

the men all cheered

 

 

Rick felt physically sick as Shane let go of his hair  and put his knees on either side of his body, hovering over the top of him

 

 

He bent over, his lips close to his ear

 

 

'' im gonna fucking rip your tight hole to shreds, sheriff '' he whispered 

 

 

''I ain't gonna be a gentleman and prep ya either, gonna make it fucking hurt, make you scream  '' he purred

 

 

Rick abruptly threw his head back connecting with Shane's nose, as he received a punch in the head by one of his men holding him

 

 

'' you fucking fuck '' Shane spat holding his nose

 

 

Rick struggled underneath  Shane to no avail and he felt extremely trapped and vulnerable, and fucking scared

 

 

''you fucking mongrel.......right no more fucking bullshit, let's do this fella's '' Shane yelled and sat up on his knees as Rick felt his pants being pulled down,exposing his bare ass

 

 

the men all cheered and yelled like a pack of animals

 

 

he heard Shane undoing his pants above him

 

 

This was it, he was about to  be raped by the man he despised the most, the man who had taken his family from him, been a fucking nightmare in his life for 7 years now, he was about to force himself inside of Rick, let his men do the same and there wasn't a fucking thing he could  do about it 

 

 

the men's laughter echoed in the air as Rick closed his eyes, feeling Shane's cold hands on his ass cheeks, spreading them apart 

 

 

Chapter 57

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

'' uumm .......boss'' a meek voice spoke behind the crowd of men surrounding   Rick 

 

 

''what the fuck  is it, Clarence ??  '' Shane growled, moving above Rick

 

 

'' I.....I think the sheriff got me good man ... I....I  dont feel too good  '' the man whispered

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, maybe he did in fact fatally stab the man after all ???

 

 

Shane seemed to still above Rick for a moment

 

 

suddenly  gunshots  began echoing  in the air and each man pinning  Rick  down, fell to the  ground, one by one, in a domino effect

 

 

'' what the fuck !!! " Shane yelled and scrambled off Rick

 

 

Rick's heart began racing as  a blur of boots, gunshots and panicked yelling surrounded him 

 

 

''what the fucks going on ??? ''  one man yelled, as bullets continued to fly through the air

 

 

 Rick sat up and pulled his pants up, his heart now in his throat, someone was shooting at them

 

 

The men all scattered in different directions like headless chickens,   fear in their eyes

 

 

 Rick tried to get out of the middle of the  firing line, scrambling off to the side, where the horse had been tied up to the tree

 

 

''Hold ya ground, you gutless pricks " Shane bellowed over the noise, as he stood in the middle of the camp, firing his shotgun into the darkness, his stance stiff, insanely brave, or just insane ??

 

 

Although scared the men did as they were told  and stopped where they were and  began firing their weapons into the darkness, hoping to strike the mystery intruder

 

 

The noise was defining  and Rick covered his ears with his hands as the gunshots vibrated through his body, he could have run, but he didnt, he was paralyzed

 

 

for what seemed like hours the onslaught of gunfire went on, some men were struck with bullets, flying back into the air and some men stayed standing 

 

 

" hold ya fire " Shane bellowed over the noise of his own men's gunfire

 

 

everything went deathly silent and Rick removed his hands from his ears, looking up at the men, all standing in a row, guns aimed into the dark night, as his  blood pumped in his ears

 

 

''I think we got him boss " one man spoke

 

 

'' get out there and find whoever  thought they could fucking fire on us........ and live  " Shane screamed

 

 

the men all looked at each other, apprehensive about possibly walking straight into  their deaths

 

 

"What are you waiting for ..MOVE '' Shane demanded, his face turning red

 

 

A few men disappeared for a moment and came back with oil lamps from their tents and lit them, walking in pairs out into the darkness

 

 

 the small  bright dots of light  moved around like fireflies  as they searched through the grass

 

 

Shane turned around to Rick, sitting on the ground, still bewildered by what had just happened

 

 

''You'' he pointed to him 

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked up to him

 

 

'' here '' he pointed to the spot next to him, like a  master calling his dog

 

 

Rick glared at him, baring his teeth

 

 

''NOW '' he yelled, hurting Rick's ears

 

 

Rick's eyes fell on the man he had stabbed earlier lying in front of him, he was dead with a bullet wound to the head

 

 

 he glanced at his holster

 

 

''dont even think about it prick '' Shane yelled, following his gaze

 

 

" well holy shit !!  look who we got here  '' one of Shane's men  yelled from the darkness

 

 

Rick and Shane  immediately drew their attention toward the voice 

 

 

''what ?? who is it ?? '' Shane called back 

 

 

Rick's mouth felt dry as he craned his neck to see who the men had caught, not  realizing Shane was charging over towards  him

 

 

''I said fucking move your ass '' he bellowed, grabbing  the collar of Rick's shirt roughly, pulling him to his feet

 

 

he blinked at the man and was pulled forward and promptly thrown to the ground next to him

 

 

a sudden shot  of agony ripped through his hand had he hissed in pain, looking at his severed finger, it was now bleeding 

 

 

the men soon appeared out of the darkness, dragging something or someone behind them

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows......... those  clothes looked familiar

 

 

it couldn't be........ could it ??

 

 

it was Merle fucking Dixon...... !!!

 

 

Rick couldn't believe it, he blinked stupidly as the men  dropped him at Shane's boots, like a sack of horse shit, and handed his weapon to him

 

 

Merle groaned in pain as he got to his hands and knees, his head hanging to the ground

 

 

Rick  flicked his eyes down the man's body, he was bleeding from several places  and Rick instantly knew they were fatal 

 

 

''Dixon " Shane spat, eyeing him with a shocked expression, just as much as Rick was 

 

 

the man  began laughing strangely, bloody drool falling from  his mouth, his whole body shaking

 

 

Rick flicked his eyes up to Shane who wasn't as amused

 

 

''what's so fucking funny you piece of shit  ?? '' Shane spat

 

 

Merle raised his head slowly and glared up at Shane with a grin on his face

 

 

'' I really took you assholes by surprise.....pity I didnt fucking kill you..now that would have been really fucking  sweet   '' he huffed and spat a glob of bloody salvia at Shane's boots

 

 

he was promptly hit in the face with the end of Shane's shotgun, falling onto his back

 

 

'' you filthy piece of scum sucking shit.......you dare try and kill me ???   '' he spat

 

 

'' Let him be,  you fucking asshole '' Rick spat  at Shane 

 

 

Shane  glared down   at Rick, his lip curling up at the side

 

 

'' since when have you given a fuck about Merle Dixon, sheriff  ??? ''

 

 

Rick glared at him with contempt and hatred, flicking his eyes back to the wounded man in front of him

 

 

Shane's eyes flicked up and down Rick's body quickly and he turned back to Merle

 

 

''so what was this about huh Dixon ?? .......you came here, to kill me ?? '' Shane raised an eyebrow at the older man 

 

 

'' well,  I was planning on  rescuing  the princess here, you know, like a fucking knight in shining armor'' he motioned to Rick, winking at him

 

 

''Thought  maybe  the town would offer me a nice big fat reward for saving their precious sheriff......woman throwing themselves at me, that kinda thing '' he flicked his eyes to Shane

 

 

'' but then I thought, killing you would be better than all the  fucking money in all the fucking  world ..you nasty piece of shit '' he grinned

 

 

''did you really think you could kill me ??  '' Shane smirked

 

 

'' I sure gave it a fucking go...I mean I got at least what ?????..... '' he looked around at the bodies lying near him

 

 

''6 didnt I ??  '' he laughed, his bloody teeth showing

 

 

'' you son  of a bitch '' Shane spat as  he aimed the shotgun at Merle's leg 

 

 

''NOOO " Rick yelled 

 

 

a gunshot echoed through the air  and an intense scream of agony was torn from Merle's mouth 

 

 

Rick felt sick at the sight that lay  in front  of him 

 

 

'' BOOM ''  Shane laughed, his head falling  back 

 

 

 the men around him laughed

 

 

Merle's  leg had been shot clean off, blood and flesh hanging where his limb used to be 

 

 

''You fuck '' he spat, gritting his teeth, bleeding from the  mouth, looking pale and weak 

 

 

 

''Merle '' Rick furrowed his  brows at the man  lying in front of him on the ground 

 

 

 

''hey, sheriff prick........ tell my baby brother I'm sorry.....tell him I tried '' he smiled

 

 

Rick smiled back at him

 

 

''thank you for coming back for me '' he whispered

 

 

''It was worth it, just to see this asshole's fucking face, when I was shooting up  his men .....'' he whispered, his face twisting in pain

 

 

''Oh fuck you Dixon '' Shane spat and aimed his gun at Merle's head

 

 

''...... Negan's .......''

 

 

his words were cut short when  his head exploded right in front of Rick's eyes, as Shane shot him  in the skull  at close range

 

 

blood and brain matter splattered up on Rick's face , as Shane's laughter echoed in his ears

 

 

''I never did like that asshole  '' Shane scoffed

 

 

''he was about to tell me something about Negan '' Rick yelled 

 

 

''NEGAN'S DEAD ASSHOLE '' Shane roared down at him

 

 

Rick wiped Merle's blood from his face with the back of his hand and glared up at Shane with pure hatred, his blood was boiling and he didnt know where his sudden courage came from with Shane's men standing around, but he jumped to his feet and flew at Shane with such force they both fell to the ground

 

 

Rick's curls hung on his bloody face, his teeth gritted as he was filled with immense rage

 

 

his hands were around the man's throat squeezing as  hard as he could muster, especially with one severed fingertip,that was bleeding and  still  very fresh

 

 

Shane was going red, his eyes widened 

 

 

''Im gonna fucking kill you '' Rick spat above him

 

 

he was promptly pulled off the man beneath him by his goons and he lost it

 

 

he swung his fists at any man he could connect with, his body was in fight mode, he was done being tied up like some kind of animal, the blood, the death, this   camp, it was too much..... he wanted to get the fuck out of here

 

 

his severed finger  screamed out in agony as he hit several men in the face, his heart was racing and he didnt care if he died right now, he was going out with a fucking fight,he would do what Merle tried to do, kill every last one of these pricks

 

Notes:

Merle turned out to be a good guy after all, although he lost his life for his efforts

 

Negan ??? what was Merle trying to tell Rick ????

 

And did he go and tell the saviors where Rick was ?? or did he take the location to his grave ??

Chapter 58

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

 

Rick  opened his eyes, it had somehow become  daylight 

 

 

 he was sitting down, his back resting up against   the tree the horse was previously tied up to, his wrists once again tied with rope

 

 

what the fuck was going on ??  wasn't he just fighting his way out of this shithole a second ago  ?? wasn't it night time ?? 

 

 

he licked his lips, tasting blood on them

 

 

his body felt beaten and weak, he was pretty certain  several ribs were defiantly  broken, and the tell tale signs of a migraine lingered in the back of his skull  

 

 

a horrid rotten smell, like burning flesh, abruptly hit his nostrils 

 

 

he lifted his heavy head and saw Shane's men pulling all the tents down and loading everything they belonged onto their horses.......where the fuck were they going ??

 

 

he glanced over to the fire which  was burning larger  than previously, black, thick smoke drifting into  the air

 

 

there were a number of  charred  objects burning in the flames and Rick furrowed his brows, wondering what they were 

 

 

 one of Shane's men came into view, dragging a dead body by its legs behind him

 

 

Rick looked on  as he stopped by the fire  dropping  the dead man, roughly, walking around, sitting him up by his shoulders, and pushing him into the fire  

 

 

that's what that smell was, it was bodies, burning

 

 

Rick felt bile rising up into his mouth, these men were animals, they didn't bury their dead, they burnt them

 

 

He had to get out of there

 

 

He twisted his wrists in the ropes frantically  and looked behind him, he was tied up, and the rope was looped around the trunk of the tree several times 

 

 

a sudden pain shot through his severed finger, radiating up his arm, through his shoulder, up his neck, and into his skull

 

 

he clenched his eyes tightly shut, trying to stop himself from screaming

 

 

''well well well, look who's finally  awake '' Shane's voice made a shiver run up  Rick's spine

 

 

he stilled and  hung his head, seeing the man's boots stop in front of him as he knelt down 

 

 

Rick glared up at him

 

 

'' you passed out ya pussy '' he smirked

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, why didn't he remember anything ?? 

 

 

''But you did put up a pretty good fucking fight ill give ya that sheriff, I mean  you've never once lost ya fucking fight since you've been here ......that's what I like about you " 

 

 

Rick  glared at him with hatred

 

 

'' I mean  if circumstances were different, if we didn't have bad blood between us, I would have wanted you in my gang, I mean  fuck  me !! '' he scoffed looking Rick up and down

 

 

''you're one tough son of a bitch..but I knew that the night you survived   '' he smirked, raising his hand to Rick's face, touching the scar he had given him

 

 

Rick flinched at his touch, his lip curling up 

 

 

'' I would die before I joined you '' he spat 

 

 

Shane's face twitched

 

 

'' yeh well '' he sighed 

 

 

''wheres's Merle's body ?? what have you  bastards done with him ?? ''

 

 

he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Shane

 

 

''well he's been fucking burnt with the rest of my men he killed ''

 

 

'' you sick fuck..why didn't you just bury them ??  ''

 

 

''well Rick..that would be too much damn work  and time we don't have  '' he smiled

 

 

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing 

 

 

'' The men and I have decided to move on from this area, there's been too much blood spilled  here ...besides that fucking snake Dixon could have told anyone about our location '' he  scoffed, eyeing Rick 

 

 

'' so, that just leaves you sheriff  " he glanced at his fingers,as he picked at his nail

 

 

''I mean I could leave you here to die of thirst  '' he pulled out his knife

 

 

Rick eyed the knife, feeling his heart skip a beat

 

 

''I could gut ya right here right, let ya bleed out nice and slow like you  did to Roger, let the animals finish you off   '' he motioned his knife across Rick's belly and he flinched back in fright

 

 

'' Or I  could take ya with us......have some fun with ya like we were gonna before Merle broke up the party '' he licked his lips

 

 

he tapped the blade of the knife on the side of his cheek eyeing Rick, silently 

 

 

''what do you reckon I should do with you sheriff ?? '' he smirked

 

 

Rick wanted nothing more than to get loose  and fucking kill him

 

 

he jerked forward making the ropes pull on his  cut wrists and Shane flinched ever so slightly 

 

 

''  when I get outta these fucking ropes you fuck....and I will...... i will not stop hunting you  until the end of my days '' he spat baring his teeth like a chained up animal, regretting the words instantly because the psychotic prick would most likely slit his throat right here right now 

 

 

shane's face was unreadable as  his eyes flicked down to Rick's crotch and up again

 

 

he abruptly slapped Rick across the face, his palm connecting with the open cuts Shane's men had previously inflicted on his cheek, making it sting, like a cold wind in winter

 

 

he hissed his head falling to the side

 

 

'' I'm not going to kill you just yet  '' he grinned

 

 

'' I haven't made you suffer yet, I wanna see you begging on your fucking knees in the dirt for me to kill you'' he stood up, adjusting his pants

 

 

'' Besides, you still owe me and my men  a little fun '' he scoffed and kicked dirt into Rick's face, laughing, walking away

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth in anger, his whole body shaking in anger

 

 

'' you fucking son of a bitch, fucking just kill me '' he screamed

 

 

Shane stilled and turned his head to the man on the ground

 

 

'' ill kill you when I'm good and ready to....and trust me, you will be fucking begging me to end your pathetic life by the time I'm done with you....cause no one is  gonna interrupt us this time  '' he winked and walked off

 

 

Rick's intense urge to choke the man exploded  and he began to throw himself around against the tree, making his wounds scream in agony, his ribs felt like they were cracking in half and his head was about to explode, he yelled and kicked the ground, but no one took any notice of him

 

 

when his body couldn't take any more of his tantrum he stopped, sweat was forming in his brow and he inhaled deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down, he knew he was coming close to having major withdrawals and he needed to keep himself calm because that was going to be traumatic enough on his body and his mind

 

 

He watched on in vain as the men packed up the camp and watched the fire burn itself out, as charred remains of men's bodies, including Merel's, lay on top of each other

 

 

he felt   light headed ,his body was aching, it was hurting from the inside out and he cursed himself, he knew it was coming.... it had taken longer than he expected it to, he thought he would have  withdrawals  long before now

 

 

he was sweating,  his heart was beating fast, he felt his skin tingling like he was covered in ants and they where crawling all over his skin....he needed opium

 

 

''OK prick, time to move '' one of Shane's goons startled him 

 

 

Rick felt sick as bile churned around in his guts, he couldn't possibly move right now

 

 

''Now we know you're a fucking cunny son of a bitch...'' he looked to his friends beside him

 

 

'' but there is  3 of us and one of you and you ain't looking so crash hot, so  i suggest you don't try anything asshole...we ain't looking to be babysitting your ass..you should have been dead and burnt on that  there pile in the fire, but Shane wants ya alive for some reason '' he spat 

 

 

''he looks like shit '' one man mumbled

 

 

''who cares, get him to his feet, the boss wants to move now '' another said

 

 

''get his ropes behind the tree, ill watch him '' 

 

 

Rick was dazed like he was  floating, his body felt like it was on fire and when the man knelt down and touched his shoulder he yelped out in pain, as the sensation rippled through his body like a rock hitting  water

 

 

''the fuck ??  '' the man furrowed his brows at Rick 

 

 

Rick was sweating but was shaking at the same time, he was cold, and his whole body was tingling like he had pins and needles 

 

 

''don't fucking touch me '' he spat in anger, glaring up at the man

 

 

the man  glared at him and pulled out his gun

 

 

''Now if your thinking of giving us any trouble I swear ill shoot you in the leg..not fatal just something that will make ya do as your told '' he snarled

 

 

he felt the ropes slacken around the trunk of the tree, but the ropes were still wrapped tightly around his writs, as the other man walked around from behind the tree

 

 

the man in front of Rick looked up at him 

 

 

''all good to go ??  '' he asked

 

 

the man simply nodded, hand hovering over his holster looking down at Rick, warily

 

 

''ok asshole on ya feet '' 

 

 

two men hauled Rick to his feet by his underarms and he hissed in pain, as his whole body ached

 

 

he wobbled on his feet as his head spun, he was like a puppet without its strings in the man's hands

 

 

''what the fucks wrong with him ?? '' one mumbled

 

 

'' Jonathan, you got that man ready to go ??  '' Shane bellowed from  over on top of his horse

 

 

''he ain't looking to good boss '' he called back 

 

 

''I don't give a fuck ..bring him ere, its time to go  '' he yelled

 

 

the men hauled Rick over to Shane, his feet didn't want to cooperate and he almost fell flat on his face 

 

 

he felt dreadful, sick to his stomach, his vision was blurry as he was jerked and pulled along to Shane's horse

 

 

the ropes were handed to Shane as he stared at the ground trying to prepare himself for being dragged behind a horse all day in the blazing sun, without his hat going through withdrawals

 

 

''Move out '' Shane yelled, making  Rick's head vibrate

 

 

 he closed his eyes tightly, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep

 

 

the ropes jerked as the horse moved forward and Rick stumbled as he was dragged forward

 

 

the blistered  sores on his wrists screamed in agony as the  rope dug into his skin

 

 

his entire body was in pain, and he was shaking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he didn't know how long they had been walking  for, but he was fading, he needed water and  rest

 

 

his head flopped back lazily,  as he squinted his eyes up at the blazing sun

 

 

 he felt bile rising in his guts  and he stopped abruptly, making Shane spin his head around to him, stopping his horse

 

 

''what ya stopping for asshole, keep moving '' he spat and tugged on the ropes

 

 

Rick swayed on the spot, his body about to collapse to the ground

 

 

'' I...I can't go any further '' Rick whispered, his throat dry, feeling nauseous

 

 

''I said keep fucking moving, we ain't stopping for ya '' Shane spat and jerked the ropes once more

 

 

Rick couldn't keep it down any longer, he let the bile in his guts come up as it flew from his mouth, his body convulsing as he fell to  the ground on his hands and knees, the rope pulling at his skin

 

 

It was only water but it stung and burnt his dry throat all the same 

 

 

''God damn  '' Shane laughed atop of his horse

 

 

Rick shook on his hands and knees, this was torture, he had never gone this long without his precious opium.....ever....

 

 

''Come on get up pussy'' Shane yelled and tugged on the ropes around Rick's wrists, pulling at his skin

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth, all his anger and frustrations were boiling over, he felt sick, he felt weak, he was in pain and this son of a bitch kept fucking pulling on these ropes

 

 

he shook with rage and withdrawals and abruptly grabbed the longer end of the ropes that Shane was holding, and wrapped it around his fingers and wrists

 

 

crazed, full blown adrenaline rushed through his body and  he pulled the rope backward with all the strength  he could muster, startling Shane and making him fall off his horse and hit the ground, hard 

 

 

the men all stopped their horses spinning their heads around as Rick was on his feet in seconds, his anger explosively evident as he wrapped the longer piece of rope around Shane's throat several times before the mad man  even knew what was happening

 

 

his body was crying out in agony but he didn't fucking care he finally had Shane where he wanted him, underneath him going red in the face while Rick strangled him with his own rope

 

 

He pulled and pulled with every ounce of strength he had left, as Shane's men seemed dumbfounded, watching  on, not believing what they were witnessing

 

 

Shane was chocking and grabbing at the rope unable to do much else as he kicked his legs frantically in the dirt

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth pulling hard

 

 

suddenly  Rick felt a force knock him off the man beneath him, he hit the ground beside him, as several of shane's men held him down

 

 

''You son of a bitch '' Shane coughed, as the men removed  layers of rope around his neck

 

 

''get off me, you assholes'' Rick spat, as he received a punch  to the face 

 

 

his body was in agony, his ribs cracking, making it feel like he was being squashed by a ten tonne weight , as he lay there pinned to the ground, breathing heavily

 

 

''wheres that mother fucker " Shane yelled as he stood up, slightly dazed and wobbling on his feet from  lack of air

 

 

he spun around glaring down at Rick beside him

 

 

''you fucking filthy piece of shit '' he bellowed and proceeded to kick the sheriff  in the ribs

 

 

Rick  screamed out in pain as the kicks from his boots felt like he was falling from a saddle over and over and over, each one vibrating through his body, like an electric  shock to his system

 

 

Rick gritted his teeth  as the men held him down, Shane kicking  him over and over again in his fury

 

 

he finally stopped and Rick felt  warm tears in his eyes, his body was hurting, really hurting

 

 

''Fucking bastard, trying to kill me '' Shane yelled, glaring down at the man 

 

 

he brushed his hair back off his face, hands on his hips looking around his men. breathing heavily

 

 

''I think we'll camp here for the night  boys'' he rubbed at his neck, which now had rope burns around it 

 

 

''get this piece of shit tied up somewhere where I can keep an eye on him'' he spat down at Rick and gave him another hard kick to the ribs before he stormed off towards his horse

 

Notes:

Well, our Rick ain't doing so good 😥

he's having withdrawals from opium and Shane still hasn't finished with him yet

will anyone be his savior now ??

Chapter 59

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick was promptly picked up underneath his armpits like a rag doll and dragged over to another damn tree

 

 

what was it with these assholes and trees ??

 

 

his wrists were pulled roughly behind his back and tied with rope, wrapped around the tree trunk

 

 

he was too exhausted to fight, he was weak and beaten, he didn't have anything left in him, his body ached, even more so now Shane had just kicked the living shit out of him

 

 

he hung his head, feeling nauseous, his ribs felt like they had been cracked in half and it hurt to breath

 

 

He was  so damn   tired and he was sure he only closed his eyes for a moment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A sharp kick to the side of his thigh had him jolting his eyes open, his heart skipping a beat 

 

 

it was now night time

 

 

his arms ached like they had been pinned back  up in that god awful position for weeks, not hours

 

 

a chorus of laughter  made him raise his heavy head

 

 

Shane and 3 of  his men were sitting around the fire, the others  seemed to be  absent

 

 

''fuck me sheriff, we thought you were dead '' Shane laughed, holding a  bottle of whiskey  in his hand

 

 

his body wasn't in pain from withdrawals like before, like before  he had closed his eyes, he wasn't sweating, he wasn't shaking, and he didnt feel nauseous

 

 

he did have a killer headache, but that was it, how could that be?? , his body wouldn't have recovered that fast, not after a few hours, not from  morphine withdrawal

 

 

''you've been fucking unconscious  for 2 fucking days '' Shane laughed

 

 

Rick blinked around the camp dumbly, what the fuck ?? how could he have slept for two days straight ?? was it even possible

 

 

''what ??  '' he furrowed his brows, not believing the man's words

 

 

'' yeh '' Shane scoffed

 

 

'' We  all thought you were fucking dead...never seen nothing like it '' he eyed Rick 

 

 

''even pissed ya self a few times " he smirked, eyeing Rick's crotch

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, looking down at his crotch

 

 

He felt a sudden raging  extreme thirst that he had never felt in his entire life, his throat dry and parched

 

 

Shane stood up, holding the neck of the  whiskey bottle in his fingers lazily, and stalked over to Rick 

 

 

''I dont even know how youre still alive without  any water for 2 days..'' 

 

 

''but here you are...  " he  shrugged 

 

 

Rick eyed the whiskey bottle, swallowing the dry lump  down into  his throat

 

 

Shane  glanced down, following his gaze

 

 

'' what ?? you want some ?? '' he motioned to the bottle, smirking  

 

 

Rick nodded instantly, he knew whiskey probably  wasn't the best idea, but he just  wanted anything wet at that point

 

 

Shane smirked and turned around to his men 

 

 

''what do ya reckon boys, has the sheriff earned himself some whiskey '' he laughed

 

 

''fuck him '' one spat

 

 

Rick eyed the bottle, licking his lips, he needed some kind of liquid in his mouth 

 

 

Shane turned back to Rick and knelt down next to him, his eyes flicking over his body  

 

 

'' I'm not sure   you deserve any Rick   '' he smirked and took a sip from the bottle

 

 

Rick's mouth parted at the  dark liquid swirling around in the glass bottle and watched Shane's adams apple bob up and down , as the whiskey went down his throat

 

 

'' please'' he barely whispered, his voice raspy

 

 

Shane stopped drinking immediately, his eyes darting to Rick   

 

 

''what,what was that  ?? '' he put his hand over his ear, mockingly 

 

 

Rick's lip curled up slightly at the man 

 

 

''please '' he said louder

 

 

a large sadistic grin swept across Shane's face

 

 

'' you hear that fellas, the sheriff said please '' he smirked, somewhat  excited

 

 

the men sitting behind him, were all silent, glaring at Rick 

 

 

''And fuck.... doesn't it  just  sound  even sweeter coming from  those lips  ''  his tongue flicked out wetting his  lips, his intense eyes trailing down Rick's body again

 

 

Rick eyed him, he made him feel sick, but he desperately wanted something to drink

 

 

''please'' he said again, his blue eyes pleading like 

 

 

shane's face twitched slightly as he eyed Rick

 

 

''ok '' he said and put the end of the bottle near Rick's mouth

 

 

''open up '' he smirked

 

 

Rick eyed him and opened his mouth as Shane's breath hitched in his throat slightly

 

 

'' wider '' he whispered, a devious expression on his face

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked to him and back at the bottle, opening his mouth wider

 

 

he felt a hot flush rising up his neck as Shane's eyes bored into him...fuck knows what sick things were currently going through his mind 

 

 

He poured some whiskey  into Rick's mouth, the bitter liquor damn near burning the back of his throat, but he took everything Shane was willing to offer him

 

 

Shane kept pouring  and soon Rick couldn't swallow fast enough and he began to choke as the whiskey overpowered him

 

 

he began to choke as the dark liquid  spilled  out of his mouth, down his chin, and all over  his clothes

 

 

'' you fuck '' he spat, coughing, pulling on the ropes

 

 

Shane laughed, standing up and  walked back over to the camp fire and sat down next to one of his men

 

 

''The boys will be back with supper soon.... '' he took a swig of whiskey, eyeing Rick

 

 

'' then I think we will have some fucking fun.....what do ya say  boys ??  '' he bellowed, holding his bottle up in the air, as the men  cheered and yelled

 

 

Rick's heart skipped a beat and he looked over at him, concerned

 

 

'' ....im done waiting to use ya and so are the boys '' he spat at Rick 

 

 

Rick felt a twinge of anxiety in his chest and he shook his head, eyes wide

 

 

''I mean  now youre awake... we couldn't really fuck you while you were passed out, could we ?? '' he smirked

 

 

''why not boss  ?? we've done it before '' a man laughed

 

 

shane eyed him 

 

 

Rick felt fear running in his veins

 

 

''yeh, but this one is different  '' Shane looked at Rick, his eyes trailing down his body slowly

 

 

''I want to hear him scream '' he whispered hauntingly and took a sip of whiskey

 

 

Rick swallowed, his heart pumping loudly, he felt scared

 

 

''I bet he screams real good '' the  man next to Shane smirked 

 

 

Shane laughed

 

 

''you fucking touch me and ill fucking  kill you '' Rick spat  

 

 

''you ain't gonna do shit Rick,youre tied up remember '' Shane spat and stood up, walking back over to Rick, looming above him

 

 

'' youre gonna be a good boy and do exactly what youre told to do '' he grinned down at him

 

 

''the fuck I am '' Rick kicked his legs out at Shane's boots

 

 

Shane knelt down angrily and grabbed the collar of Rick's shirt, pulling him towards his twisted face

 

 

''  and what makes you think Youre gonna   get a fucking say in any of this  sheriff ??  '' he bellowed in Rick's face

 

 

'' Im gonna take what I want .....and I always get what I want '' he slapped Rick across the face, his open cuts stinging from the friction 

 

 

''Shane...... hey  Shane '' a voice suddenly called from the darkness

 

 

both Rick and Shane looked towards the familiar voice, as did his men by the fire

 

 

Rick knew that voice..it was...

 

 

''Simon '' Shane called back, furrowing his brows into the darkness

 

 

''is that you man ?? '' he stood up, looking towards the voice

 

 

shane's men all stood up  looking confused

 

 

''what the fuck are you doing here ?? '' Shane shouted

 

 

''I...I ran into the guys  out there....... they told me where you were camping  '' he yelled 

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, he sounded strange, not his usual cocky, confident  self and why wasn't he stepping  towards them, why was he hiding in the darkness

 

 

'' it took me forever to find you '' he called back 

 

 

 Shane narrowed his  eyes towards the darkness

 

 

''yeh ......we had to move, that fuck Dixon.....  snuck up on us, opened fire ''  he called, looking wary,hand on his holster

 

 

'' You wouldn't know anything about that now would ya ?? '' he said, accusingly like

 

 

Simon was  eerily silent 

 

 

'' why dont you come into the light '' Shane called, his palm ghosting  over  the handle of his gun 

 

 

Rick struggled against the  ropes, as his ribs crunched under the movement and he hissed in pain

 

 

shane spun  around, his face twisting in rage

 

 

''you keep still asshole, I dont want you anymore broken than you already are '' he pointed at him  and turned back to Simon

 

 

''  come on over man  ''  he called out

 

 

simon was silent once more 

 

 

a strong gust of wind abruptly blew out of nowhere, making the dust fly up into Rick's eyes and he blinked rapidly

 

 

suddenly Shane's men  seemed to appear out of nowhere, standing on the very edge of the camp, their bodies only just visible from the dim light of the fire,complete darkness behind them

 

 

They stood stiff and cold, almost frightened like, motionless, silent

 

 

Shane looked at them confused

 

 

'' why are you all standing there like fucking stiffs  ?? '' he yelled furrowing his brows at the men surrounding him,acting strangely

 

 

his men all eyed each other

 

 

''cause they are fucking shitting their pants '' a gruff voice yelled from the darkness in the same direction Simon was in 

 

 

Rick's heart stopped for a second,he knew that voice......but it couldn't be,he was dead.....

 

 

 

''You see they ran into a fucking ghost, a ghost who has a  huge mother fucking  score to settle ''

 

 

Simon stepped into the  light of the fire, his face was bloody and beaten with  fresh  bruises all over it, he looked terrified, eyes wide with fear

 

 

the face of the  man  Rick thought he would never see again  appeared behind Simon, standing just past his shoulder, impossibly close

 

 

''And I've come to fucking collect  '' he spat ,eyes narrowed and filled with anger

 

Notes:

I think we all know whos just turned up to save the fucking day 😁😁

Chapter 60

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Shane's men seemed to jerk forward involuntarily, into the light of the fire

 

 

The familiar faces of several saviors appeared behind them, Daryl's face stood out amongst them, Dwight was there too

 

 

Negan's  eyes flicked down to Rick  

 

 

''sorry we're late sheriff '' he smiled weakly, his  expression  tender  

 

 

his  eyes darted back up to Shane, a fierce scowl appearing on his face 

 

 

''what the fucks going on here Simon ??  '' Shane spat, glaring at him

 

 

''you double crossing me ? leading these pricks straight to my fucking door ?? '' he eyed the man

 

 

Simon shook his head quickly

 

 

'' It took some  harsh encouragement on my part, but he finally told us where to find you assholes ''  Negan smirked

 

 

Shane glared at Simon, with utter  betrayal in his eyes

 

 

'' you weak fuck '' he spat 

 

 

''He didnt give you up easily ...... I had to take several of his fingers before he talked, tough son of a bitch ill give him that    '' Negan smiled

 

 

 

Shane glanced  at Rick, knowing he did the very same thing to  him

 

 

''  This piece of shit...... '' Negan spat and hit Simon in the back of the head with the end of his shotgun, making him fall to his hands and knees onto the ground

 

 

'' thought he could fucking gun  me  down and get away with it '' he  gritted his teeth, looming over him

 

 

'' but  he got a real fucking surprise when he returned to camp, seeing me very much alive.......didnt you, you fucking snake  '' he  kicked him in the  ass with his boot

 

 

''  Yeh,So ?? ''  Shane yelled abruptly, interrupting him

 

 

'' looks like you've caught him,  why the fuck have you taken my men ??  why are you here ??    '' Shane glared at Negan

 

 

''well ...brother '' he spat the last word

 

 

Shane   gritted his teeth, his fingers twitching over the handle of his gun in his holster

 

 

'' You see,  You took  something very fucking important to me ''

 

 

Shane furrowed his brows and turned to Rick

 

 

''And I've come to  get it back '' he  glanced  at Rick 

 

 

Shane narrowed his eyes at him and smirked

 

 

'' you want  your pet back  ?? '' he tilted his head to the side

 

 

Negan was silent, a small smirk spread across his face, confident like 

 

 

''  let my men go  first  '' Shane  jerked his  head  towards his frightened looking  minions

 

 

''You can keep that fucking traitor '' he pointed angrily  at Simon 

 


''you fucking mongrel '' Simon  raised his head, yelling, teeth gritted

 

 

'' youre on ya own asshole  '' Shane simply shrugged

 

 

Negan abruptly barked out  laughing, throwing his head back as Simon turned his head   back at him

 

 

'' How does it feel to  be fucked over by the person you thought you could trust..... hey asshole ?? '' he glared  at Simon

 

 

''We were in this shit  together you fuck '' Simon  spat turning back to Shane, feeling betrayed

 

 

'' You came to me with the big idea, I only went along with it because you promised me the sheriff....so  If it comes down to saving my men or you...... I'll  choose them'' he shrugged

 

 

Simon's face was filled with hurt, anger, and rejection as he bared his teeth, abruptly  standing upright and lunging at Shane

 

 

Negan moved as fast as a snake striking and grabbed him around the neck by his forearm, pulling him back and practically throwing him on the ground, by his boots 

 

 

'' Did I fucking say you could get up, you traitorous son of a bitch ?? '' he bellowed

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked up to Shane

 

 

his jaw  twitched as he took a slight step back 

 

 

 was the piece of shit trying to escape ??  Running away like a fucking dog  with its tail between its legs

 

 

''Thinking  you could fucking kill me, ....we were best friends you motherfucking fuck  '' Negan roared and  abruptly fired his gun at Simon's leg at close range

 

 

A god almighty howl echoed through the camp, as Simon's leg was blown clean off  just below the knee, leaving a mass of flesh and blood in its place

 

 

Shane took another inconspicuous step back...... if you weren't looking at him, it would have gone unnoticed

 

 

Simon's incoherent screams drew Rick's attention back over  him

 

 

''Please...please'' he sobbed, tears in his eyes, holding his hand  up , hoping  Negan would show him some mercy

 

 

''please Negan, I'm sorry man, i...i...this was all a fucking mistake....... '' he stammered

 

 

''it's too late for fucking begging...Rick warned me about you and I was too fucking stubborn to listen '' he gritted his teeth, eyes filled with rage 

 

 

'' We were best friends and you wanted me dead...over what ??  The gang ?? you betrayed me for the gang ?? Negan yelled, spit flying from his mouth

 

 

''I was better for  Lucille than you ever were, you fucking arrogant fuck '' Simon abruptly blurted out 

 

 

A  sudden awkward silence  fell over the camp

 

 

Negan stilled, his face frozen, eyes narrowed

 

 

Simon struggled to sit up, blood coming from his mouth

 

 

'' I loved her and she loved me '' he  jerked his head up at Negan, irately 

 

 

Negan looked somewhat confused, but still remained poised, gun trained on the man 

 

 

millions of thoughts and emotions must have been swirling around  his head at that very moment, but he remained stoned faced

 

 

'' you weren't there for her and she will always remember that, you were too busy fucking whores to care about her.......'' Simon coughed up blood

 

 

'' you weren't there for her in those last days, I took her pain away, ME ....  '' he yelled, emotion fuelled

 

 

Negan was silent as he  raised his shotgun, slowly, painfully slowly

 

 

Simon screamed, his eyes filled with terror, hand held in front of his face trying to protect himself, as Negan fired, blowing  his arm off  just below his shoulder

 

 

his body  flew back onto the ground like he was suddenly hit by a massive invisible force, his back slamming into the hard dirt

 

 

Rick felt somewhat nauseous, he didnt think he would care about Simon getting what was coming to him, but it was difficult to watch as he lay on the ground, his body mutilated, sounding much like an animal being ripped apart by another, in a mass of blood and flesh

 

 

he swallowed a lump down in his throat as Shane stepped back once again, seemingly thinking the distraction was a cue to leave

 

 

the tension in the air was stifling as Rick watched on, his heart in his throat

 

 

Simon lay still, close to death as Negan loomed above him, his body seemed  to be sway on the spot, unnaturally

 

 

Shane's men were clearly distressed  as they eyed each other, their eyes filled with terror, the saviors behind them remained stoic

 

 

Negan knelt down next to Simon and tilted his head

 

 

'' You killed my Lucille ?? '' he said more of a question, seemingly connecting Simon's words

 

 

Simon was quiet, his body jerking, clinging to life

 

 

''DID YOU KILL HER ??  '' Negan roared so loud, it made a shiver run up Rick's spine

 

 

''I loved her, I took her pain away, she didnt ask me to, but I knew she wanted me too, I did it, I let her go,you didnt give a fuck about her   '' Simon barely whispered, confirming Negan's suspicions

 

 

A silence hung in the air like a cloud as Rick licked his dry lips, heart pumping loudly

 

 

He didnt  notice Shane  sneaking around behind him and drawing his knife out from behind his back, taking the blade to the rope around the tree trunk

 

 

Negan stood up quickly and without another word  he shot Simon in the head, his skull exploding on impact, pieces of brain fragments spilling around his body like an explosive

 

 

suddenly the rope around Rick's wrists  slacken and turned to look at the tree trunk, seeing a flash of color in front of his eyes

 

 

in the time Rick blinked, Shane had  hauled him to his feet, his chest to his back, one arm around his neck, the blade of the knife to his throat

 

 

''you wanna  play asshole  ??  lets fucking play '' he yelled at Negan, his mouth close to Rick's ear

 

 

Rick was wobbly on his feet like  a newly born calf, his body ached, and his head pounded

 

 

Negan's head flashed upwards and Rick felt every set of eyes on him and the crazed man behind him

 

 

''get your fucking hands off me you son of a bitch '' Rick twisted himself in the man's grip, his wrists still tightly bound with the rope

 

 

''Shut up  prick " Shane yelled in his ear, pressing the blade against his skin

 

 

Negan was silent and stood up slowly, his long coat blowing  in the breeze ever so slightly 

 

 

he stood tall, a small smirk on his face was all that you could see underneath his hat and it was slightly unnerving

 

 

Rick could feel Shane's  heart beating rapidly, vibrating through his back  as he took a staggering step backward 

 

 

'' Where the fuck you think youre going ...brother ??  '' he damn near growled and a shiver ran  up Rick's spine

 

 

''I'm taking the sheriff and my men and we are fucking leaving '' Shane yelled

 

 

Negan tilted his head, smirking

 

 

'' Why ??  aren't you having  fun  ?? '' he abruptly fired his gun at Simon, making his limp body seem to twitch as his chest opened up into a bloody mess

 

 

Negan laughed, somewhat unhinged like

 

 

''Cause I'm sure as fuck  am having a god ...damn....  shit load of fun " he roared and shot Simon's body again, laughing loudly 

 

 

Shane flinched taking another step back, dragging Rick back with him as Shane's  men all looked at each other, becoming increasingly on edge and frightened

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at Negan, he was being extremely volatile, understandable, but Simon was very, much dead, and blasting his body with precious slugs wasn't helping

 

 

 Negan stopped laughing abruptly and the camp fell into an uncomfortable tense silence

 

 

'' Let him go '' Negan spat 

 

 


'' you let my men go first  ''  Shane yelled back

 

 

Negan's lip curled up in the corner, as his eyes narrowed 

 

 

'' NOW.....or ill fucking slice  his pretty throat open '' he spat, jerking the blade into Rick's throat 

 

 

Rick's  hands  were still bound so he couldn't really do anything as he felt the sharp blade cutting into his throat, his eyes wide

 

 

" youre outnumbered asshole, you really think youre gonna get outta this alive ?? '' Negan yelled, taking a step toward Shane and Rick

 

 

He deliberately slammed his boot down into Simon's body, like he was a piece of disused shit 

 

 

Rick's heart was pounding loudly as Shane took another step back

 

 

''Maybe not, but I'll be taking the sheriff with me '' Shane growled and nuzzled his nose into the side of Rick's face

 

 

Rick flinched on impulse

 

 

''Fuck you, you sick fuck'' Rick yelled and struggled in Shane's grasp

 

 

Negan's face twisted, gripping the handle of his shotgun with rage 

 

 

''I almost had  him, but that fuck Dixon interrupted us...'' he glared over at Daryl

 

 

Daryl's face twitched slightly, and a slight expression of confusion flashed across his face 

 

 

''Fuck I was so fucking close '' Shane  teased, smirking at Negan 

 

 

''I bet he's a really good fuck ain't he Brother  ?? '' he spat the last word as Negan had done before

 

 

''tell me, is he better than Lucille was ?? '' he spat

 

 

Negan bared his teeth

 

 

''Fuck you asshole  '' Rick struggled in his grasp

 

 

''I bet he is, with a tight ass like that I bet he fucking screams real good dont he ??  '' he licked  a stripe up the side of Rick's cheek with his tongue

 

 

Negan took another step toward the men

 

 

''NO, you stop right there  '' Shane yelled, pressing the blade to Rick's throat harder, so hard he could feel his skin ripping beneath it

 

 

" fucking Kill him " Rick yelled, gritting his teeth, unable to  do anything but struggle  with his bound hands

 

 

Negan flicked his eyes at him

 

 

''Il ask once more, let the sheriff go " Negan roared, raising his gun 

 

 

'' Just shoot him Negan '' Rick yelled, shaking

 

 

" I said shut the fuck up you fucking piece of shit, you ain't getting away from me this time '' Shane yelled and jerked Rick's neck back 

 

 

"Daryl.....bring this fucker down '' Negan yelled

 

 

before Rick or Shane knew what was happening, an arrow landed directly on the top of Shane's hand that was holding the knife, millimeters from Rick's face

 

 

he screamed out in agony, dropping the knife and releasing his hold on Rick

 

 

another one  immediately struck him in his   thigh, making him fall to his knees before Rick's very eyes, howling in pain

 

 

he struggled desperately to get the arrow out of his hand as Rick took a few steps away from the man, staring down at him as blood poured from his hand and thigh

 

 

''All of this could have been avoided, if you had just left Rick outta this '' Negan said calmly, stalking closer

 

 

" you fuck '' Shane spat, lifting his head up, blood between his teeth

 

 

''And for that, for that, your men are going to pay '' he smirked and raised his hand in the air

 

 

Shane's eyes widened

 

 

" NOOO" he screamed as each savior fired their weapon, killing  the men standing in front of them instantly, making them fall to the ground

 

 

" I'm gonna fucking kill you, you motherfucker " Shane  yelled and pulled the arrow out of his hand, blood pouring out of the  open wound

 

 

 

Rick stood still, stiff like it was all a dream, something he had dreamt about for over 7 years, Shane  was right where he wanted him, yet he couldn't move, he seemed paralyzed

 

 

Shane got to his feet, grabbing at the arrow in his leg frantically

 

 

Daryl appeared out of nowhere like he had flown in from the night sky,his crossbow aimed at Shane's head 

 

 

"What did you do to me brother you fuck ?? '' He mumbled, eyes narrowed down the flight groove at the man on teh ground

 

 

''Weak piece of shit '' Shane scoffed, pulling at the arrow

 

 

Daryl screwed his face up and looked like he was about to fire another arrow into Shane's head at close range, but Negan put his hand on the top of it, pushing it down towards the ground

 

 

Rick looked up at him

 

 

he had a small smile on his face 

 

 

'' Thought I lost ya sheriff '' he smiled warmly

 

 

Rick wanted nothing more than to crash his lips to the man  and he smiled weakly, not knowing what to say back

 

 

he felt a strange pulling sensation around his wrists and glanced down, as Negan cut him free from his  confines, the rope falling to the ground

 

 

'' I found something I think you'll be interested in '' The older man  reached in behind his coat and pulled out something Rick thought he would never see again, his machete

 

 

his eyes widened at the sight before him, his stomach flipped with  adrenaline...it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen 

 

 

he flicked his eyes up to Negan who wore a small smirk

 

 

''take it, it's yours'' he pushed the handle towards Rick

 

 

Rick raised his hand slowly, shaking over the weapon, looking at Negan once more for some kind of go ahead to touch it 

 

 

Negan nodded

 

 

" what the fuck do you think you're doing asshole ??  '' Shane yelled on the ground, the arrow still in his thigh

 

 

Rick ignored him, letting his fingertips   touch the handle

 

 

he gripped the handle in his palm and electricity shot through his hand and up into his body

 

 

it felt like he had the missing piece of himself back again

 

 

his eyes flicked up to Negan who was smiling at him

 

 

'' He's all yours sheriff '' he whispered 

 


''You fucking son of a bitch  '' Shane yelled

 

 

''He ain't man enough to fucking kill me'' he spat

 

 

Rick blinked at Negan stupidly

 

 

'' This is what you've been waiting for Rick '' he winked and took a step back

 

 

Rick looked at him and flicked his gaze over to Daryl, who had his crossbow trained on  Shane

 

 

''you won't kill me will ya Rick, we got history me and you ....we have a connection '' Shane pleaded pathetically, looking between Negan and Rick

 

 

Rick glared at him and  gripped the machete in his hand tightly, his lip curling up in the corner

 

 

''We have nothing '' he spat 

 

 

''You've been nothing but a fucking disease in my life for over 7 years '' Rick bared his teeth facing Shane head on

 

 

''And now...now it's time to eradicate that disease '' he yelled, visibly shaking 

 

 

he felt sick, he felt nervous he felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins

 

 

he thought of Lori and Carl, their scared faces that night, what they both went through, Hershel and all the other families this piece of shit had destroyed over the years

 

 

 he raised the machete, ready to strike, his muscles tense

 

 

'' Hey, Wait man, come on, we can work this out ........ '' Shane laughed, nervously 

 

 

everything went silent, a strange ringing noise echoed in Rick's ears, and everything surrounding Shane went black like Rick was looking down a long tunnel at the man 

 

 

the camp, Negan, Daryl everything had disappeared, but the weak man on the ground in front of him

 

 

He felt nauseous, and he felt uneasy...why ??

 

 

this was the moment he had been  waiting for, he had the fuck on his knees, but he was frozen in place, he couldn't move

 

 

shane tilted his head up a look of confusion on his face, his eyes darting to the side and back at Rick

 

 

his mouth was moving but nothing but the ringing noise filled Rick's ears

 

 

Shane looked to the side of him again and bared his teeth, his face twisting, sitting up straight in his knees, challenging like 

 

 

a small smirk appeared across his smug face and he said something to Rick, looking him up and down

 

 

he was jolted sideways as if an invisible force pushed him from the darkness that surrounded him

 

 

he glared to the  side, moving his mouth, and was pushed once again

 

 

Rick blinked rapidly and felt a warm hand on his shoulder

 

 

he flinched at the touch and knew it was Negan, the man's touch was bringing him back, bringing him back to reality

 

 

He shook his head as Shane glared up at him, the darkness surrounding him faded, and the camp and Daryl standing beside him, crossbow trained at his head, reappeared

 

 

the ringing noise disappeared and  the  sound  of the fire cracking returned

 

 

Rick narrowed his eyes looking down at the smug son of a bitch, smirking up at him, and without another word, he brought the machete down 

 

 

All the pain, anger, fury, revenge, and hatred were put into that one single swing and Shane's arm fell away just below his shoulder bone

 

 

it dropped onto the ground as Shane let out an almighty scream of agony, that sent shivers up Rick's spine

 

 

The sheriff was slightly shocked he had taken it in one swing, the machete had been exposed to the elements  for weeks and he didnt expect it to be so precisely sharp

 

 

'' You fucking weak piece of shit '' Shane yelled

 

 

Rick's hand shook with adrenaline and he brought the machete down again, not saying a word

 

 

Shane's other arm came clean off and the man fell onto his back, writhing in agony

 

 

Rick was filled with sweet  retribution

 

 

he walked up to the screaming man, whose face was filled with terror and pain, stepping over him, one foot on each side of his miserable body

 

 

Shane was still screaming and Rick kicked him in the ribs with his boot

 

 

"shut up you pathetic piece of shit '' he spat

 

 

Shane looked directly at him, his blood stained teeth bared

 

 

''you've taken so much from me '' Rick whispered, his heart pounding

 

 

''you've taken so much from a lot of folks '' he knelt down, hovering just above the man's body, tilting his head

 

 

''fuck you '' Shane laughed

 

 

''I'd do it all again too, cause I liked it......I like fucking hurting people '' he continued to laugh, insanely like , his face twisting

 

 

'' you sick fuck '' Rick shook his head, looking Shane's body over

 

 

''I liked raping your wife and kid too, they were real fun '' he barked out laughing

 

 

Rick licked his lips, his heart in his throat

 

 

''they.....they were pure, beautiful, innocent, you......you are nothing, nothing but a stain on this world, a nothing, a nobody''

 

 

''Im something '' Shane stopped laughing, yelling pathetically

 

 

''me and you Rick, we will always be together, we have a connection, in life and even in death..... we'll meet again '' he smirked

 

 

Rick tilted his head, his face twisting, his eyes fierce

 

 

''well, I'll be seeing you in hell ...... you motherfucking bastard '' he roared and raised his machete, bringing it down right in the middle of Shane's forehead

 

 

the man beneath him froze solid, his expression of shock stilled

 

 

blood seeped out from underneath the blade, as his entire head slipt in half around the steel like a flower bud opening in the  fresh morning air

 

 

He pulled the machete out of his flesh and a sudden realization washed over him like a wave ....Shane Walsh was dead, he was finally dead, after 7 fucking years of torment, nightmares, scars and anger........he was dead

 

 

Fury ran through his veins, this death wasn't enough, it was too simple, too quick, he wanted him to pay for what he had done to his family, the horror of it all hit Rick like a fucking stampede of horses

 

 

he gritted his teeth and gripped the machete handle hard, hard enough to draw blood, and abruptly  brought the weapon down onto  Shane's head once again

 

 

everything he had been through in the past decade was put into that swing and the next swing and the next, he yelled with rage, slicing into the man he had loathed for so long over and over again

 

 

blood was splashing up on his face and on his clothes but he didnt care, he was screaming and felt tears in his eyes, pure raw emotions flooding through him, Lori Carl, Hershel, Merle

 

 

his body was hurting, and his severed finger was in agony but he pushed them aside and kept bringing the machete down into the flesh beneath him

 

 

that's all it was, flesh, it wasn't a person, it was nothing that Rick was taking his rage out on, sweat was forming on his forehead, his curls hung in his eyes

 

 

suddenly someone seemed to pick him up off the body, pulling him back

 

 

Rick spun around, his machete raised ready to strike the person who took him away from his revenge

 

 

''It's over Rick '' Negan's voice echoed in his ears before the man became visible in front of his eyes

 

 

''It's over, he's dead '' he furrowed his brows, looking concerned 

 

 

Rick bared his teeth, like a feral animal and turned back around looking down at the thing that was once Shane Walsh

 

 

it was a mutilated lump of flesh now, filled with deep machete cuts, blood and flesh falling from the bone

 

 

a sudden rush of anxiety hit him and he shook violently, falling  to his knees beside the body, dropping the machete to the ground

 

 

he couldn't hold back his tears as intense filled  emotion flowed through him, the realization it was really over hit him hard and he began sobbing  uncontrollably

 

 

Lori and Carl were finally, finally now at peace

 

 

Rick's chest was heaving, he felt like he was about to spew when a soft hand rested on his shoulder

 

 

he spun around and grabbed who he assumed was Negan, sobbing uncontrollably into their chest

 

 

two strong arms wrapped around Rick's back and he felt safe and warm, protected

 

 

one hand stroked his nape, tenderly as he tried to slow his breathing

 

 

he pulled back and looked up into the hazel eyes that were filled with concern

 

 

he flicked his eyes down to Negan's mouth and back up to his face

 

 

Negan put his hands on either side of Rick's blood stained face and without saying a word he kissed him tenderly, softly

 

 

Rick was lost in the moment and forgot the saviors were all standing by looking at them, and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck, deepening their kiss

 

 

he needed this right now, he needed something, he needed something real, he didnt want to ever let the man go ever, he was scared to death he would lose him again

 

 

Negan was the first to pull back, his hands still on the side of Rick's face and he put their foreheads together, his eyes open, filled with love

 

 

''I'm here baby '' he whispered like he knew what Rick was thinking 

 

 

"I'm not going anywhere honey '' he kissed him again, not caring about his own men looking on 

 

 

Rick had become aware they were being watched and pulled back, looking behind him at Daryl

 

 

he looked somewhat embarrassed to be witnessing the two men kissing, but his face also expressed sorrow, he knew now his brother was dead

 

 

Rick let go of Negan and stood up on shaky legs, walking over to the meek man and putting a hand on his shoulder, ducking his head to meet the other's eyes

 

 

''I'm sorry about Merle'' he whispered

 

 

Daryl raised his eyes ever so slightly, his hair covering them

 

 

''He came here to help me, he came back for me, he risked his life for me '' Rick smiled weakly 

 

 

Daryl's   face was filled with shock and loss 

 

 

''he  did the right thing in the end, he wanted me to tell you...'' he smiled

 

 

''he died a hero.......Merle Dixon died acting  selfless ''

 

 

Daryl's face was unreadable but Rick knew he had come to some kind of peace with his older brother, even in death 

 

 

He turned to face the other saviors

 

 

"thank you...... I know most of you wouldn't have wanted to risk your lives for me, but I thank you all the same  '' he nodded his head towards them 

 

 

most were stoned faced , but a few including Dwight nodded back in respect for his appreciation and acknowledgment 

 

 

he inhaled a deep breath and turned back to Negan

 

 

the man was like a god, he stood tall, his hat pushed down almost covering his eyes, and his long coat swayed to the  side even though there was no winding in the air whatsoever 

 

 

Rick ran to him, practically knocking him over, and wrapped his arms around his broad, strong body

 

 

''I love you '' he whispered into his chest, eyes tightly closed like this was all a dream that would end suddenly 

 

 

''I love you too '' Negan whispered, his chin on the top of Rick's curls, his arms closing around his back

 

 

Rick pulled back, looking up into the man's eyes, confused

 

 

" How  ?? ''  he barely whispered

 

 

''I saw you die'' he looked down at Negan's chest

 

 

Negan smirked

 

 

'' Things aren't always as they seem sheriff '' he smirked

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows, confused

 

 

''come on, let's get outta this shit hole, I'll tell you when we get back to camp '' Negan smiled and put his arm around Rick's shoulder pulling him close to his  body 

 

 

Rick was so confused but also so damn tired and he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes, being  wrapped up  in Negan's safe  arms 

 

 

everything seemed to  blur as the saviors burnt the bodies of the men, including Simon and Shane with alcohol from their hip flasks and a match

 

 

Rick stared blankly down  at the  body in front of him, burning, clutching the handle of his machete which was back in its rightful place in his holster, touching his thigh

 

 

the smell was god awful and he felt like vomiting, but he didnt move when the wind changed direction making the smoke blow directly into his face and body

 

 

he was numb, he felt nothing

 

 

when someone put a hand on his shoulder he flinched and spun his head to the side, seeing Negan

 

 

''Time to go sheriff '' he smiled weakly, his face drawn and tired looking 

 

 

Rick realized he was the only one still standing up, the others were now on top of their horses, ready to leave the brutal scene

 

 

''oh..oh yeh..ok '' Rick stammered dumbly, looking down at Shane's remains once more and turning around walking to Negan's horse

 

 

the older man climbed up into teh saddle as Rick stopped and turned back, looking at the body once more, making sure he was dead

 

 

he knew he was, but he had to be sure

 

 

''  Rick '' Negan's voice made him turn around, seeing him extending his hand down to him, a small smile on his face

 

 

''It's time to go home baby'' he smiled broadly

 

 

Rick looked at his palm and put his  hand in it as he helped him up  onto the horse, so he sat behind him, just touching the edge of the cantle

 

 

he immediately wrapped his arms around Negan's waist, his tired head resting on his back

 

 

''OK Fellas, let's get the fuck outta here " Negan yelled, his voice vibrating through Rick's body

 

 

the horse jerked forward and began trotting at a quick pace

 

 

 the pace soon turned into a fast  gallop, Rick's body  jerked behind Negan like a rag doll being tossed around, the full moon shining on the landscape that rushed past, giving it a strange silver like appearance

 

 

They stopped at Shane's previous camp, where Rick watched from on top of the horse, Daryl standing over the charred remains of Merle in the pile of black bodies, he  had watched burn 

 

 

Rick squeezed Negan harder as he felt immense remorse at not being able to do anything for the Dixon brother 

 

 

Negan put a hand over Rick's tenderly and Daryl turned around, his face emotionless, and got back onto his horse, pulling its reigns angrily and galloping away 

 

 

Negan said nothing as he pulled on the reins and  began trotting after him, Rick looked back at Merle and the  other men in the discarded pile of charred ashes sadly

 

 

He turned around, nuzzling his head into Negan's back feeling safe as they picked up their pace  riding  faster and  faster back to camp

 

 

 his eyes became heavy too heavy to keep open  and he closed them

Notes:

well, Shane is FINALLY dead !! Simon is dead

I had so much fun writing this chapter, it was a long time coming

Chapter 61

Summary:

 

look out for my next installment of the adventures of cowboys Rick and Negan

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rick felt hands on him and  his eyes flew open immediately, ready  to strike whoever it was

 

 

It was Negan, he was trying to get Rick off the horse

 

 

''Hey, where here  '' he whispered looking up at him from the ground

 

 

Rick looked around rubbing his tired eyes, they had arrived at the saviors camp, he was currently leaning forward on the horse, his stomach digging into the cantle of the saddle

 

 

he sat up rubbing it and looked down at Negan dumbly, dismounting  the horse, his boots hitting the hard ground making, his whole body ache

 

 

it wasn't a very good position  to ride a horse in for a good few hours and he rubbed his sore ass in protest

 

 

Negan scoffed at him looking him up and down 

 

 

''come on cowboy, looks like you could use  a good sleep '' he smiled and walked away in the direction of the tents

 

 

Rick didnt argue as he followed him, his legs heavy with sleep

 

 

"RICK '' Carol's voice bellowed from somewhere behind him and he turned around, almost being knocked to the ground by her arms around him

 

 

''Thank god youre alive, we were so damn worried '' she squeezed him hard as his body ached 

 

 

he smiled weakly and hugged her back, feeling somewhat awkward

 

 

she pulled back, looking  him over, her eyes wide with concern

 

 

'' are you ok, are you hurt ?? '' she grabbed his face, looking it over

 

 

Rick furrowed his brows at her, wondering what she was on about and he remembered he had Shane's blood all over his face

 

 

''it's not mine, it's...'' he stopped, averting his  eyes to the ground

 

 

''Maybe we can discuss this in the morning, Carol ?? ''Negan put his arm around Rick's shoulders

 

 

Rick raised his eyes to her and she pressed her lips together tightly looking at Negan

 

 

''ok '' she glanced back at Rick, somewhat angry and turned to walk away

 

 

''Hey Carol '' Rick called out to her 

 

 

she  stilled and turned around

 

 

''It's good to see you again '' he smiled

 

 

she glanced at Negan and smiled back at him

 

 

"you get some rest Rick, ill see you in the morning " she smiled and turned, walking away

 

 

''You didn't have to be such an asshole to her " Rick mumbled to Negan 

 

 

"It's late Rick'' he sighed

 

 

''  We all need to rest, not discuss what happened right now '' Negan said somewhat angrily  and walked away

 

 

Rick glanced at Carol as she disappeared and followed Negan back to his tent

 

 

he entered pushing the flaps inwards and looked around, it was much larger than the tent he had previously occupied, but it didnt have much in it either. A cot and crate with a few things scattered on top of it  and a small wash bowl that negan was currently using to wash his face in, were all that filled the tent

 

 

Rick looked down at  himself, he was covered in blood and he felt filthy

 

 

he looked up over at Negan who had now turned around, looking at him

 

 

'' come ere'' he jerked his head, a wet rag in his hand

 

 

Rick's stomach flipped at the possessive tone in the man's voice and he clutched the handle of his machete in his holster as he walked toward him

 

 

he walked up to him, standing in front of him, looking up into his eyes

 

 

They were filled with emotion and concern as he lifted the wet rag to Rick's face and tenderly began wiping the dried blood away

 

 

''I thought id never see you again  '' he whispered, eyes flicking down  to Rick's and back up  as he continued to try and  wipe the physical signs  away from the night

 

 

"I thought the same ''  Rick whispered, closing his eyes as Negan moved his curls out of his eyes, wiping his brow

 

 

he felt something close to his lips and opened his eyes, seeing Negan's face incredible close to his as his lips  ghosted  over Rick's  

 

 

''I missed you so much  '' He growled and pressed his wet lips to Rick's, wrapping his arms around his back, deepening the kiss

 

 

the older man pulled  away from Rick and looked down at him, his eyes filled with so much love, sorrow, regret and  concern,  Rick felt like crying

 

 

''come on '' he smiled  and began to strip off his clothes as Rick looked at him, confused

 

 

 He left his underwear  on and  lay down on  the cot, on his side, propped up on his elbow, and patted the mattress with his hand, a small smirk across his face 

 

 

Rick smiled and took his holster off first, placing it  down gently  on the crate beside the cot, looking at the  blood covered machete

 

 

He stripped off his bloody clothes, leaving his underwear on, and lay down next to Negan,  so his back was against the man's chest, Negan's arms wrapped  around him

 

 

'' how did you survive a shotgun to the chest ?  '' Rick whispered, curious as to how the man or anyone would survive that

 

 

Negan's  hot breath ghosted over the shell of his ear, his warm body clinging to Rick's

 

 

'' I got an old  sheet of metal and put it under my clothes, like a vest '' he whispered

 

 

''I had it with me, hidden, I put it  on the morning I saw you at the jail, as we were leaving..it was a heavy son of a bitch....but it saved my life   ''  he scoffed

 

 

he paused for a moment, nuzzling his nose into Rick's curls

 

 

''im so sorry baby '' he whispered

 

 

''Im sorry I didn't want to believe you, I owe you my life, I owe you everything, I'd be dead now if it weren't for you '' he squeezed Rick tightly

 

 

Rick felt like saying I told you so, but he didnt wanna fight about who was right or wrong, right now. He was too damn tired

 

 

He knew Simon was scum and he was glad Negan got to find that out for himself, even if it almost caused his death 

 

 

'' I tell ya what though, those fucking slugs still packed a fucking punch, even with armor on........I was laying there on the porch of that fucking jail for god knows how long in fucking agony '' Negan whispered

 

 

'' stole  a horse, bullets flying up my ass from the towns folk....came back to camp, where carol took charge and wouldn't let me leave my tent until I could walk  without being in fucking  pain ''

 

 

Rick closed his eyes listening to the man's voice

 

 

'' I told everyone  what that fuck Simon did, how he  betrayed me....so we made sure I was   out of sight until he came crawling back here, cause I knew he would, just like you said .....he wanted  me out of the way so he could  have the saviors as his own '' he spat

 

 

''you should  have  seen the look on his fucking face  when he saw me '' Negan smirked

 

 

'' The piece of shit made it  difficult to get any kind of information out of him........but he finally blabbed  Shane's position and that he had you  with him '' he whispered

 

 

Rick felt so exhausted, he didnt want to talk about it anymore tonight, he just wanted to forget for now and  lay there in Negan's arms, feeling safe

 

 

''I'm so sorry honey '' he repeated

 

 

'' Im sorry I didnt believe you '' 

 

 

''Let's just sleep '' Rick whispered, his body needing rest, his mind too 

 

 

Negan said nothing and moved behind Rick slightly draping his leg over the top of Rick's and squeezing him harder like he never wanted to let go 

 

 

Rick felt so safe and warm and he closed his eyes letting sleep take him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shane lay on the ground screaming in agony his limbs were hacked off, and bone, blood, and flesh were everywhere

 

 

Rick's eyes flew open, his heart racing and he sat up in fright, covered in sweat 

 

 

the previous night's images burnt into the  back of his  brain  like he was reliving it all over again 

 

 

 

he looked beside him on the cot, Negan was gone

 

 

his eyes darted around frantically for the man and he suddenly felt fear rising in his guts, panic, wondering if he was ok

 

 

He threw his legs over the  side of the cot when  the tent flaps  abruptly flew inwards and there the  very man stood, with a smile on his face, two rusty looking mugs in his hands with steam coming from them

 

 

he furrowed his brows when he saw the  frantic look on Rick's face

 

 

'' what's wrong ??  '' he said, concerned,  walking over  

 

 

'' Did you have a nightmare ?? '' he looked over Rick's face, worried 

 

 

''i......I didnt know where you were..... I was worried '' he said weakly, sounding pathetic

 

 

Negan  smiled

 

 

"I was just getting some coffee  '' he put the two mugs down on the crate, eyeing Rick

 

 

''It's just ...after last night '' Rick trailed off averting his eyes to the ground

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows, kneeling down in front of him 

 

 

''it's ok baby, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere'' he soothed, putting his hands over Rick's, looking up into his eyes 

 

 

''You said that before...then I watched you get shot......I saw you '' Rick  chocked, holding back tears

 

 

" Hey '' Negan said softly, standing up and sitting next to Rick on the cot 

 

 

''it's okay, I'm ok, you're ok '' he ducked his head to catch the sheriff's eyes

 

 

Rick looked at him  and threw his arms around the older man, squeezing him tightly 

 

 

'' It's over baby, Shane can't hurt you or anyone ever again '' he whispered, furrowing his brows at the sheriff's sudden  strange behavior 

 

 

''It's over '' he repeated and pulled back, kissing Rick on the mouth, tenderly stroking his curls that sat at his nape

 

 

Rick felt a pang of guilt in his guts and he pulled away, not looking at Negan

 

 

''Hey '' he tilted Rick's chin up with his finger

 

 

'' what's wrong, talk to me  ?? '' he said worried

 

 

'' Are you....... are you are pissed I killed your brother ?? '' he mumbled...... after all the man  did watch his brother get hacked to pieces in front of his very eyes 

 

 

Negan was silent and Rick looked at him, he had a small smirk on his face

 

 

''are you fucking kidding me ?? '' he almost laughed

 

 

''That's what youre worried about ??? '' he smirked

 

 

"I told you, he means nothing to me, he died a long time ago, long before last night...he was yours to deal with Rick, he hurt you more than he ever hurt me, he took something from you that  was so precious, something that can never be replaced '' he furrowed his brows

 

''he deserved everything he got, he killed people, raped them without an ounce of remorse or consciousness, that kind of man....that kind of evil, needed to be taken out '' he spat

 

 

Rick glanced over at his holster still sitting on top of the crate, the machete still in its rightful place, covered in dried blood

 

 

''where did you find my machete ?? '' Rick didnt look at Negan 

 

 

Negan scoffed

 

 

''You'd never believe it...Simon was leading us to Shane's camp, walking right into the area where he cut you up that night... practically stepped right on top of it in the  dark......like it was meant to be '' he shrugged

 

 

Rick smiled, that was one hell of a coincidence

 

 

'' And Simon ??  '' Rick looked at him

 

 

"what about him ??  '' Negan's face twisted

 

 

''You know now he killed Lucille ''

 

 

Negan was silent looking  over Rick's face 

 

 

'' He admitted it around the campfire one night like he was just  telling a story, Shane knew he had done it, he did it because  he was obsessed with her, not that she loved him''

 

 

Negan averted his eyes, his jaw tense

 

 

''she loved you, no matter what bullshit he said, what he thought was happening in his delusional mind  ''

 

 

''I know I let her down, but  I knew she would  never kill herself...'' he spat, angrily

 

 

''you were going through just as much pain as she was at the time, she knows that '' Rick soothed

 

 

''she didnt'' he spat angrily

 

 

''I abandon her...Simon took advantage of that, of corse she confided in him, he was there, I wasn't ''

 

 

''she didnt confide in him, from what I understand he was under the sick delusion that they were in love, it was all manifested in his own fucked up head...you know no woman would have given Simon a second look....well no woman with any taste '' he smirked

 

 

Negan scoffed, sniffing

 

 

''we've both lost so  much...but we still have each other and that's worth fucking grabbing onto and never letting go of  ... I love you Negan, I always will '' he whispered

 

 

Negan looked up at him, his eyes filled with hot tears

 

 

''I love you too Rick '' he smiled and grabbed the side of his face with both hands, crashing their lips together

 

 

Rick allowed him to push their lips together harder, deepening the kiss, as his stomach flipped with excitement 

 

 

they kissed for several minutes when Rick pulled back

 

 

''so what happens now ?? '' he furrowed his brows

 

 

Negan looked confused

 

 

" meaning ? ''

 

 

''Are you still leaving the saviors......I mean, after all  that's happened ??  ''

 

 

'' yeh I am, I told everyone after I  arrived back here '' he huffed

 

 

''oh '' Rick whispered, averting his eyes

 

 

''why ??  '' Negan ducked his head to meet his eyes

 

 

" Nothing, its nothing, I just ......how did they all take it ?? '' he looked at Negan 

 

 

"better than I expected, some of the guys were a bit pissed, but hey.... they can do suck my big fat cock'' he smirked

 

 

''The ones that really matter, Carol, Daryl, Dwight, sherry, joey, they all understood where I was coming from, I don't wanna do this anymore, they get it....and with the money, Simon brought back from the bank job...... '' he bared his teeth, remembering what his former best friend had done  to him

 

 

'' They will be set up for life, we all will '' he smiled

 

 

Rick felt immense guilt in his stomach, he didnt want to move out to the farm house with Negan, he wanted to stay in Black River with the girls and he didnt want to bring up the sensitive subject that they have previously fought over

 

 

Negan furrowed his brows looking at him

 

 

"'what's wrong honey ??  you got that look on ya face '' he raised an eyebrow 

 

 

''It's nothing'' Rick shook his head

 

 

''Rick '' Negan said with a stern tone

 

 

Rick was silent not looking at him

 

 

"you dont wanna move out to the farm, do you  ??? ''

 

 

Rick's eyes flicked up to him, shocked, the older man knew  what he had been thinking, but then again he always seemed to 

 

 

Negan smiled

 

 

'' I know honey and it's fine, really......I was being fucking selfish  asking you to leave your family for me anyway......expecting you to drop everything and come out there and live with me   '' he said

 

 

" Besides, you've got a horse.......I'm not that far away  '' he shrugged

 

 

'' thought you'd be upset '' Rick said quietly

 

 

"I have no right to be upset honey, this is my dream, not yours, you're the sheriff .......and a bloody good one too, I wouldn't ask you to give that up for me, to go live on a farm...you'd be bored shitless, I know you would '' he smirked

 

 

"I'm not exactly happy being a  sheriff  anymore either '' Rick whispered

 

 

"no " Negan tilted his head

 

 

''I wanna do something that gets my heart racing  ''

 

 

''I can think of one thing that will do that '' Negan smirked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down suggestively

 

 

Rick smirked at him and sighed

 

 

''Im serious......Jesus was going to let me tag along on one of his investigations, I was really looking forward to it, but then Merle turned up and told me you were in danger..and that put a spanner in the works  '' he shrugged

 

 

"Merle " Negan scoffed, looking confused

 

 

''Yeh, he was in on it with Simon...... to get me out to the bank, so Simon could deliver  me to Shane '' Rick looked at Negan like he had two heads

 

 

''He left  Shane's camp to go and get help, I assumed he came here  '' Rick looked at him confused

 

 

'' he never showed up here baby  ? ? no one saw him  ? ''

 

 

"well how did he know you were alive....he said something before he died.....'' Rick furrowed  his brows

 

 

'' like what ?? '' Negan asked

 

 

Rick's mind ticked around like the hands of a clock...he said  '' Negan'' and was abruptly shot......maybe he was saying something else about Negan, but what ??

 

 

''He must have been here, he knew you were alive ?? ''

 

 

"'well Daryl didnt see him either, maybe you heard the wrong thing baby, I mean  it would have been an intense  fucking moment '' he tilted his head

 

 

''He wasn't in on killing you, he didnt know Simon was planning on doing it ''  Rick urged

 

 

Negan smiled

 

 

''It  doesn't matter now '' he smiled at Rick

 

 

'' Merle always lived every day  like it was his last, he  always said he wanted to  go out with a fucking bang  and it sounds like he did   '' Negan smirked

 

 

''took em all off guard, killed a shit load of Shane's men  ''

 

 

'' he did '' Rick smiled thinking of the man 

 

 

''well, he got what he wanted......trust me, Rick, he died the way he wanted  '' he smiled

 

 

''I just feel bad for Daryl '' he averted his eyes

 

 

''Daryl's a big boy he can take care of himself ''

 

 

''I know that .. it's just he didnt get to say goodbye to his brother....he can say he didnt fucking care about him, but I know he did, I know merle wanted him to know he was sorry and that he died doing the right thing '' Rick furrowed his brows

 

 

''He knows honey '' Negan put his hand on top of Rick's

 

 

Rick looked up at him and smiled

 

 

Negan suddenly took his hand away, slapping  his thighs with his hands 

 

 

''well sheriff, we'd better get you  back to Black River I'm sure the girls and your deputy will be worried sick about what's become of  you '' he stood up, smiling down on Rick 

 

 

Rick looked up at him and back down at his crotch, only just remembering he was wearing only his underwear

 

 

he looked back up at Negan smiling and stood up, throwing his arms around the taller man's neck

 

 

''youre really ok with me returning to Black River '' he raised his eyebrow

 

 

''of corse baby......as long as you  promise to come and see me '' he smirked

 

 

'' of course, I will '' Rick smiled and kissed him on the lips 

 

 

Negan wrapped his arms around Rick's neck, his rough hands trailing  down his  naked back, and took the sheriff's ass cheeks in  both his hands, squeezing them, smirking into Rick's lips

 

 

Rick smiled and pulled away 

 

 

''I love you '' he whispered

 

 

''well make this work Grimes '' he grinned, showing his white teeth

 

 

''This is a whole new start for the both of us '' he added and kissed Rick again

 

 

Rick pulled him closer, pushing his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss, which soon turned heated as Negan put both his hands in  Rick's curls, pulling on them gently

 

 

Rick felt his stomach flip and his dick harden when the flaps of the tent flew inwards and someone cleared their throat 

 

 

both men pulled apart from each other and looked at the person who interrupted them

 

 

it was bloody Carol

 

 

Rick sighed loudly, she just knew when ever they were about to get intimate

 

 

she had a smirk on her face and  was holding something in her hands

 

 

''I bought Rick some clean clothes  '' she smiled

 

 

Rick eyed her

 

 

Negan burst out laughing 

 

 

''you sure have shit timing Carol '' he laughed

 

 

"Sorry fellas '' she averted her eyes

 

 

'' It's ok........ thank you, Carol, I do  need some fresh clothes   '' Rick  looked down at himself 

 

 

'' ill see you outside before you leave Rick '' she smiled, turning  and leaving  the tent

 

 

Negan reached for  the rusty mug which had coffee in it and sipped  it, immediately screwing up his face

 

 

''fuck,  coffee's gone stone cold  '' he spat at the mug in distaste

 

 

Rick looked at the clothes Carol had brought in and he began getting dressed, feeling somewhat clean 

 

 

he walked over to the  crate as Negan sipped his cold coffee and put his holster on, eyeing his machete

 

 

''hows it feel to have that thing back on ya hip Grimes ??  '' he smirked

 

 

Rick glanced at him

 

 

''feels good '' he smiled, feeling proud

 

 

''you look good '' Negan put his mug down, looking Rick up and down 

 

 

Rick smiled at him and they kissed tenderly 

 

 

'' I'm damn  tempted to keep you here for another few days  Grimes '' he hummed into his lips

 

 

'' When will you leave ?? '' Rick asked, pulling back

 

 

''In a few days ''

 

 

''That fast '' Rick asked, shocked

 

 

''No use in delaying it, I've made up my mind........ besides I'm not too keen  keeping  bags of  cash  stashed  around the camp too long'' he shrugged 

 

 

Rick nodded and Negan slung his arm around his shoulders

 

 

''Take one last look baby, this  will all be a distant memory in a few days, and I will have a real bedroom with a real bed  next time you come to visit me '' he smiled broadly looking around 

 

 

''A real home '' he added

 

 

''You're really doing this '' Rick smiled

 

 

" yep '' Negan grinned at him, kissing him on the lips 

 

 

''I'm proud of you '' Rick smiled

 

 

Negan scoffed

 

 

''for what ?? ''

 

 

''for   doing what you said you were  gonna do  '' he grinned

 

 

''Lucille would  be so proud of you '' he added

 

 

Negan face stilled and he looked away 

 

 

Rick took his hand in his and Negan looked down at it, flicking his eyes back  up to  Rick 

 

 

''we're gonna be fine arent we  ?? ''  Rick asked, furrowing his brows

 

 

Negan did the same and then grinned his stupid wolf grin

 

 

''bloody oath we are Grimes  '' he turned to face the sheriff

 

 

 Rick smiled up at him and kissed him, knowing everything was going to be alright now Shane was dead, Lori and Carl were finally at Peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                    THE END 

Notes:

Well that's it

I hope you all enjoyed this, I know I had fun writing every chapter

your comments were amazing and kept me inspired

xoxoox