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forgive me.

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"you killed her. didn't you?" druig muttered, watching as the others faces turned to ikaris - stunned. ikaris turned to look at them all, no emotion whatsoever showing on his face. he began to speak, only to be cut off. "SHE LOVED YOU!" yelled druig, as tears began over flowing his eyes. sersi moved behind him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, makkari and thena following close behind. druig stood and looked at his ex lover with nothing but pure heartbreak and disgust in his eyes. "i can't believe i ever loved a monster like you." he muttered, wiping his eyes as he gathered himself. everyone watched on, disgust riddling their faces as they watched ikaris say nothing in response, just look around at them all with a blank expression, as if he had nothing to say. but druig did. he sighed, and stood strong. "if you want to stop're going to have to kill me first".

and ikaris did. well, he thought he did. he injured the most of them very badly. and without even thinking, killed druig. after he'd blasted druig into the rocks, he didn't look back. he couldn't. he knew if he saw the state he'd put his ex lover in, it'd be game over. he was still so in love with druig, so very in love. but he knew they were put on this planet with a purpose, to serve arishem. he couldn't let his family - his lover get destroyed for thinking they're doing the right thing, he just couldn't. he loved them all so much, but he couldn't let their plan go forward.

it did though. sersi froze the celestial. thena destroyed kro, and they saved humanity. so. he hurt them - killed ajak, killed gilgamesh and killed his love for nothing. he collapsed, tears pouring from his eyes as his remaining fellow eternals watched from afar. he stayed like that for he didn’t know how long. he heard approaching foot steps, and looked up. he paled. stood before him was druig. his druig. his druig with a nasty looking gash all down the side of his face, countless bruises, and he didn’t even want to begin to think where else he hurt the other. ikaris's heart shattered as he realised what he’d actually done. he attempted to kill the person he'd loved most. he’d hurt him in the blindness of his own rage. druig was injured - and in his fault.

ikaris picked himself up and moved into a kneeling position, bowing his head as more tears gathered in his eyes. "i'm sorry" he croaked, voice broken. "i'm so sorry". cries close to becoming a wail. he couldn't even gather enough strength to look up at the other, he was pathetic.

moments later, he heard more foot steps coming his way. he lifted his head slightly to see who it was. it was makkari. she stopped just behind druig, who was still standing in front of him. he dropped his head again and closed his eyes, that was before he heard those small sniffles he could easily recognise. he snapped his head up and winced. druig was looking into his eyes with the most broken expression ikaris had ever seen.

ikaris quickly stood, moving forward to comfort druig - as he would've done all those years ago. but was stopped by makkari, who gave him the coldest glare. "don't you think you've hurt him enough?" she signed, pushing him back. ikaris made no move to fight back, only let it happen. druigs eyes didn't leave his once, just grew sadder. makkari turned, wrapping her arms around druig as more tears spilled from his eyes. ikaris watched, ashamed. this is what he’d done to the people he loved most. after a minute or so of makkari comforting druig, he wiped his eyes and composed himself. makkari nodded into his chest and pulled herself away from her friend. druig bowed his head, blinked a few times, then looked back up at his ex lover. “believe me when i say this.." he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt tears threaten to fall from his eyes yet again. and once more, he built enough composure to speak up. “i will never forgive you for what you have done.” he whimpered. and with that, he let makkari lead him back to the others, leaving ikaris an alone, sobbing mess.