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i, i loved you in secret (first sight, yeah, we love without reason)

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Madeleine Jacobs is with someone.

 

No, it's not her husband, she was driven out of the house by a screaming match into the late hours of the night, and it wasn't any of her friends. And as far as she was concerned, they were all at clubs and parties, partying the night away, having fun.

 

It's her fashion designer. She's with her fashion designer. It was her last resort, with all of her friend's boozing. Let them have fun! God knows that they had deserved it instead of dealing with her. She didn't expect herself to walk over to the house, standing alone, with tears rolling down her cheeks in the cool San Francisco air. Her hands had barely reached the door when she realized what was going on. But it didn't seem to stop her, knocking anyway.

 

"Mrs. Ja-Jacobs," Cassie's voice said with a squeak as she pulled open the door, looking at the taller woman across from her. Eyebrows raised, baby blue eyes confused to see why she was here, and frankly, she was shocked too. "Are you alright?"

 

"Remember, don't call me 'Mrs. Jacobs' when it's just us, it's Maddy," She said, her voice barely reaching a whisper, wincing as she heard it faintly crackle. As she swallowed the thick lump in her throat, she waved her off, "I'm fine. Are you busy?"

 

Cassie shook her head no, "I was just about to head up to bed. It's a bit late anyway," She said before getting a good look at Maddy, trying to figure out if she was okay or not. She hardly believed her words of her feeling alright.

 

"Oh," Maddy said as her voice dropped, this is what she feared. Embracing Nate's full and neverending wrath the second she stepped into the door. She didn't want to go home, not tonight, not right now. "I'm sorry, I could- I could go back and let you sleep, fuck. You have got to have a busy day tomorrow. I'm sorry, Cassie."

 

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I don't mind," Cassie panicked. Maybe she shouldn't have said "It's okay, you can stay with me,"

 

"Are you sure?" Maddy whispered, looking up at her, swallowing back a sob approaching at the bottom of her throat. Her cheeks were tingly from the neverending tears rushing down her eyes like waterfalls. "I don't want to be a bother,"

 

"You won't be a bother-- hell, you aren't even bothering me right now. It won't be a big deal," Cassie said, offering her a smile.

 

"You won't mind?" Maddy questions once more. Cautious, worried, and frankly shocked.

 

"No, not ever," Cassie said. And the way she said it, the way she spoke, it was like she knew her forever. Like they were best friends. It made her feel fuzzy inside. "Get inside," she said, breaking her out of her thoughts, "I know you have got to be tired of standing there,"

 

Maddy walked inside the dimly-lit foyer, eyes watching as Cassie closed the door before they trailed back to her. Just her. Her eyes had looked like sapphires. It was something she had noticed for so long but had not pointed out. Her lips looked full, pink too. And they looked so damn kissable. And so, she had kissed them.

 

Madeleine Jacobs just kissed a girl. And she liked it.

 

Cassie kissed back instead of breaking apart. And it felt much more different than kissing Nate. Her lips were soft, faintly tasting like strawberries and champagne. Electricity was rushing through her brain, making her feel all floaty, all perfect inside and out.

 

Then she forgot she had to breathe. Her chest heaved as they broke apart. She was feeling dizzy, feeling electric. Like she could rule the fucking world with what she just did and what just happened. Looking up at Cassie. Maddy could see even from the dim room that she was blushing. And so was she.

 

"That was," Cassie began, breathing heavily.

 

"Good?" Maddy finished for her.

 

"So good," Cassie whispered, instantly going back to kissing her as she wrapped her hands around her waist, pulling her closer. She wanted more. So much more.

 

Maddy was glad the curtains were closed. She didn't want to be caught by paparazzi secretly stalking her, figuring out she was cheating on her famous director of a husband with her fashion designer, who keeps on grinding her pelvis into her while they keep kissing. Like the world would end if they stop. That's the thing with curtains. They keep everything you don't want exposed to the outside world inside. They let you have privacy, freedom, and relief. And she thanks the inventors mentally.

 

"We can't do it here–" Maddy got out, feeling a rush of arousal as Cassie kissed her neck. "Not in the livin' room, Cass,"

 

"Righ'," Cassie responds, still pressing gentle kisses to her neck, before breaking apart, looking at her, "Upstairs okay–?"

 

"Perfect." Maddy whispered, wrapping her arms around her neck, "Carry me there,"

 

On the journey to her bedroom, Maddy found a way to kiss every part of Cassie's body that she could, her hands still secure around her waist and her legs wrapped around her waist, all while teasing her here and there with bites, her heels already long disgarded. "I've been waitin' so long to do this,"

 

"You have?" Maddy whispered, her eyes sparkling.

 

"I have." She whispered back, entering the bedroom. "Ever since our second or third time together, I couldn't stop thinking about you,"

 

"Neither could I–" Maddy said, getting thrown onto the bed before she could finish her sentence. She moved a bit back, closer to the headboard but not too far. Watching as Cassie untied her robe, then she watched as it fell to the floor, her mouth going dry. "Your so fucking gorgeous," Maddy whispered out.

 

Cassie smiles, climbing on top of her, getting into a comfortable position, kissing her once more, holding onto her back, her free hand going to unzip her dress.

 

 

***

 

 

Madeleine Jacobs doesn't remember what happened.

 

All she knows is a fight with Nate that brought her to tears, something that's not too surprising, and that she ended up crashing at someone's house. It's still unclear in her mind, her mind still fighting to go back to the peaceful world that was sleep.

 

She wouldn't wake up, not right now. Even if the sun was dancing on her eyelids and skin, trying to force her to open her eyes. She was so tired from last night. All she wants to do is sleep in, with arms wrapped around her back. Closeness, sleeping nude with someone, and peace, it was all she wanted instead of waking up.

 

Wait a minute.

 

Who did she sleep with last night? And why did she sleep naked with them?

 

Her eyes slightly burn once she opens them. It causes her to hiss. Before realizing that isn't her bed, it's far too comfortable for it to be her bed with Nate. She's a bit sore too, but it's not as bad. She turns over to figure out where she is and all memories of last night come flashing back.

 

Maddy's in too much shock to even process it all before her eyes drift to Cassie. Quite shocked. It explains a lot, but she's still grasping at straws for what happened. Like if she said or did anything stupid. She wants to know everything exactly.

 

"Maddy?" Cassie's voice comes out as a whisper, eyes blinking twice to open. Instantly being greeted with Maddy's terrified face. Her hands are still around her, but they seem to pull her slightly closer, seemingly concerned. "Did we-?"

 

Maddy nodded silently, putting her head on her shoulder. Letting Cassie pull her into a cuddle-hug hybrid. "We did."

 

"I don't regret what I said, by the way, about how I've always wanted to do it with you," Cassie whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of her forehead.

 

"Yeah," Maddy whispered, letting out a smile, the tension and worry all seemingly flooding away now that she was in Cassie's arms again, "Neither do I."

 

And so, as it turns out, Madeleine Jacobs and Cassandra Howard slept with each other. And that was okay. It'd be okay at the moment. And that was all Maddy needed.