Train stared out of the window of the hideout into the night sky above and remembered. He'd been doing that a lot lately, he didn't know why. Maybe it was the lull in jobs or Eve and Sven's distance from him, but whatever the reason he had far too much spare time. So in that time he did nothing, simply stared...and remembered. They were not good memories...never good memories. They were the dark...the cold...the sorrow. They were the loneliness...the hate...the rage. They were that childish grin and that infuriating smile, the sound of fireworks and the sound of gun shots. They were the smell of smoke and the feel of fire burning his skin. Over and over again they flashed through his mind, as if they were a video on repeat. He wanted to turn them off but it seemed impossible with so much free time.
Eve was the first to realise something wasn't quite right with Train. She saw him sitting at the window far to often these days. He barely ever seemed to leave the hideout anymore, favoring to watch the sky from inside. She also noticed the loneliness that flickered in his eyes when he saw her, the sadness as he watched Sven work. It was like he'd put a barrier up around himself that she could not break. She could not reach him anymore...and that hurt more than seeing the hoplessness and pain in his eyes.
Sven, also, soon noticed Train's brooding. It didn't take much to notice really. There were the odd looks he'd send him and Eve, the loss of appetite, the refusal of milk. There was even the sound of sobs when Train thought no one could hear. Sven was truly terrified for his friend. He didn't know what to do to help him but he was scared that if nothing was done they would loose Train to the deep darkness within his heart.
Train knew he was brooding. He knew that and yet...and yet it didn't seem to matter. Because, really, what is the point of being if there's no one to be with you. That's the thought he has in his mind when he picks up his beloved gun. It feels a lot lighter than usual and Train realizes he only has one bullet left...one bullet left to end it all. It's like the gun is telling him to do it. He lifts the gun carefully and places it to the side of his head, the metal feels cold against his skin and he wonders, for a moment, if that's how cold he'll be when Sven and Eve find him. He can't think like that now though...because if he does he knows he will hesitate. Instead he clears his mind, like he always does when he shoots and begins to pull the trigger...he can feel himself getting closer to the end...one last squeze and...
Train drops the gun in surprise as the door is shot of its hinges and Sven is stood there with his suitcase fully prepped and a look of fury on his face.
"What the hell do you think you're doing Heartnett?!" He mutters, his voice eerily quiet considering his appearance.
"I was..." Train begins but he doesn't know how to finish the sentance.
"What gives you the right? What gives you the right to decide whether you live or die?! That right should be left to the people who your precious too! That right should be left to people like me and Eve! You have no right to decide that you get to die!" Sven yelled angrily but the only response from Train was a flicker of his eyes towards his gun laying on the ground and a fake smile.
"People who I'm precious too? What a farce. No one here thinks I'm precious, I'm just a nuisance. They'd all be happier if I was gone. An assassin like me is just more trouble for them," Train replied with an emotionless voice and Sven stared at the other male, who seemed no more than a boy at that moment. Sven realized then, just how much pain Train was in, how much he was suffering.
"You...you complete idiot! Why the hell are you going through this alone?! Why the hell didn't you tell someone?! Did you really think you had to go through all this alone?! Did you really think no one cared?! Well I care you dumb ass! You're important to me!" Sven exclaimed before enveloping Train in a hug. "Why didn't you tell me," he whispered and Train, who had stiffened at the contact, eventually relaxed in the embrace.
"Sorry," he mumbled in reply. "I just..." he went to continue but Sven cut him off.
"Forget it, I don't want to hear any excuses. In fact I don't want to hear anything at all from you," Sven interrupted as he lifted Train's chin up and kissed the other passionately and, as Train smiled into the kiss, he had to think...perhaps being collared wasn't so bad...especially if he was collared to a wild card like Sven.