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two of us, blooming white

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Their clothes are long forgotten, strewn in the entrance of Jungkook’s apartment and leading a messy trail to his bedroom. 


It makes Jungkook’s heart thump with excitement—this space that they have all to themselves, unlike his shared dormitory in Japan or Seokjin’s cottage where his parents lurk about. 


He’s been worked up the whole damn evening. There was Seokjin surprising him at his doorstep, to Seokjin flashing his bedroom eyes across their dinner table during their impromptu date, to Seokjin with his hand around his neck and tongue down his throat—Seokjin, Seokjin, Seokjin.


Those same wandering eyes are now glazed over with lust, scanning over his naked body. Seokjin’s eyes stop at his legs, which are bent and drawn up in a poor attempt at modesty. He smiles, and gently pushes them apart. “My baby.”


Yours, he thinks he says, but it comes out in the form of a shaky stutter. It’s as if Jungkook’s in a fever dream with the way Seokjin looks when he crawls between his open thighs. 


His breath trembles when the elder’s legs brush against where he’s hard, where it hurts so good. He fights the urge to grind against him, abandon the little ounce of self-control he has left.


Seokjin leans down. In contrast to the increasing pressure of his knee to Jungkook’s groin, he peppers the gentlest kisses along his cheek, his jawline, and rests against his neck where he pulls gently at the sensitive skin with his teeth.


“H-Hyung,” Is all he can muster. He sounds pathetic and he knows it, but frankly this is all too much.


“Mmm. It’s okay,” Seokjin says. Jungkook isn’t really sure what exactly he’s referring to, but it’s oddly comforting. “Are you sleepy?”


Jungkook shakes his head. “No, no. I’m fine. Keep going, please.”


It’s like there’s cotton stuffed in his ears when Seokjin replies against his neck. “…sleeping? Are you asleep?”


He bucks his hips, getting a little frustrated. “What are you talking about, Hyung…I said no,”


Seokjin then pulls up, and everything is so weird, the once dim room is now bright as hell—who the fuck turned on the lights—“Wake up, Jungkook.”


“I- what—“ 


Baby, wake up.”



Jungkook jolts awake. The first thing he notices is that he’s the only one in his bed. Unfortunately, Seokjin is not hovering over him with that sexy smolder but instead, is on the phone which is right beside his head on the pillow. He taps the screen to see the time, being met with his silly contact photo looking back at him and his physical presence far, far away. 


The second thing he notices is his very obvious erection straining against his loose pajama pants. He tries not to whine at the sensitivity of his dick when he re-adjusts his position in bed from lying down, to sitting up.


He gulps and closes his eyes. “Hey, hyung.” 


Did you fall asleep? Again?


Jungkook bonks his head against his headboard, exhaustion weighing on his senses like a million bricks. It’s a rather rude reminder of how tired he was before their nightly call. “…”


You can say yes. I won’t be mad. I kind of figured, since you didn’t react to my story about Taehyung’s bad date for the past ten minutes.” A pause. “Well, I’ll be mad if you fell asleep because you got bored instead of you being tired.” 


Jungkook huffs out of pure amusement—the teasing lilt in Seokjin’s tone is enough to ease his embarrassment for falling asleep on call. He’s ashamed, yes, but even more so that he managed to have a fucking wet dream in the span of—10 minutes?


Yeah. Seokjin doesn’t need to know that. 


“I’m sorry hyung.” He apologizes. “I don’t mean to, and I swear it won’t happen again—“


Seokjin shushes him. When he speaks, he sounds less lively and it’s jarring. “No need to say that—you’ve said it the past few times already.”


Jungkook is speechless—he hates how they can’t FaceTime and gauge each other’s facial expressions because Seokjin’s cottage Wi-Fi is absolute balls. “Hyung—“


“Ah.” Seokjin cuts in, and suddenly he’s back to his cheery, boisterous self. “Gguk, if you’re tired just let me know. I want to talk to you just as much, but you also need rest.”


“Yeah, I know. It just happens, I’m sorry—you know how my eyelids get all heavy and stuff then…”


“Mmhm. You’ve been working hard. So go to sleep, I’ll talk to you tomorrow—love you, goodnight.” Despite the encouraging words, Seokjin spoke in a rather clipped tone, and he swears he isn’t just overthinking. 


They’ve had this conversation before, but this time, Seokjin doesn’t give him a chance to say anything else and hangs up. He knows that Jungkook takes time to answer sometimes, and his fatigue-ridden brain didn’t help his case, but the older of the two had no problem waiting for him to answer.


Jungkook is flabbergasted and honestly, is still coming out of the last bits of sleep with his scrambled brain. He has half a mind to spam text Seokjin and sneak in a message or two about his wet-Seokjin-dream induced boner, the other half to send a cute selfie and call it a day, like he usually does. 


Fortunately, his dilemma ceases as soon as he receives a sleepy photo of Seokjin, the blankets drawn up to his chin with those plush lips set in a soft smile. 


Jungkook sighs out of relief, mentally laughing off the panic. “All that worrying for nothing.” 


After reacting to the photo with a heart, Jungkook groans when he moves to stand up from his bed to wash up. 


He looks down. Okay, maybe he’s got one more problem to attend to before he sleeps. 

Yoongi poses the question first when he calls him the following week, as they discuss their plans for the holidays. He tells Jungkook how he’s probably going to stay in Japan, as much as he would like to come to Korea, he’s simply been too busy. And as for Jungkook… 


Are you planning on seeing Seokjin for Christmas this year?” The older man inquires. Jungkook is almost embarrassed at how the thought didn’t cross his mind. Then again, it wasn’t even December and he had just gotten out of midterm season—he never had the time to dwell on it.


He flushes, and his hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi. “Oh, Jungkook…”


“I know, I know. It sounds so bad,” Jungkook sighs. “But to be fair, Jinnie-hyung hasn’t brought up the idea either. I don’t know…I never went up to see him other than the summer, let alone by myself,”


But you’re dating.” Yoongi deadpans. 


“Yes,” Jungkook hisses—he really sounds ridiculous right now. “It’s so weird, like. I’ve known him since…forever, ago. And yet, I don’t know…maybe it’s because he’s my boyfriend and nobody knows.”


You didn’t tell your parents yet?” 


“No!” Jungkook cries—Yoongi sounds incredulous, and he doesn’t blame him. He isn’t sure how they kept nearly 4 months of their relationship under wraps, but they did. Perhaps it helped that 3 of those months, they were away from each other. “Jin-hyung still isn’t the most…comfortable with going public.” 


Jungkook purses his lips, thinking about it.


Seokjin explained it to him before, as they were in the throes of their new relationship. They’d taken another trip to the river, just the two of them. It was after, just as Jungkook was about to kiss him in the entryway of Seokjin’s place, when he dodged his lips with a pained expression. 


“Please, one more?” Jungkook had fixed him with the cutest pout, placing a hand on his chest and moving closer. Thinking he was going to be satiated when Seokjin’s gaze softened at the action, the younger was quickly proven wrong with the way Seokjin shook his head. 


Judging by the way his eyes darted to the kitchen at the end of the hall where Ms. Kim was, he wasn’t joking around. She was singing to herself, blissfully oblivious to her son and his childhood friend-turned-boyfriend standing in the entrance. “Not here,” He murmured. 


In the darkness of the night on that same day, with the rest of the world dead silent around them, Seokjin aired out his grievances. “I don’t feel ready to tell everyone yet–and it’s not your fault in any way. I promise, and I’m sorry, I hope you understand.” 


And at first, he didn’t. Jungkook fully believed his parents would be ecstatic–their families adored both of them and Seokjin seemed just as eager to jump into this as he was. He didn’t dare ask Seokjin if he was…embarrassed to be seen with him because he knew from day one, Seokjin was by his side every summertime. So, why? 


“It’s like…well, we were just childhood friends before this and we were close, you know? I mean we still are, we’re dating and I can’t believe it. It’s so–I don’t know.” Seokjin grumbled, mostly to himself rather than Jungkook. The younger tried, really tried to coax it out of him but it would always circle back to ‘I don’t know’s, and it did nothing to calm his nerves.


“Be patient with hyung, Jungkook-ah,” Seokjin sighed against his back as he spooned him. “It’s complicated. But it's not your fault, okay?”


Jungkook felt stupid for crying that night, because as quickly as he doubted their entire affair, he was reassured when Seokjin turned him around and brushed all his tears away. Soon, that was all he said. With that, he promised to keep the news to himself until Seokjin was ready. Because he would be ready if Seokjin was. That’s what love is, right? 


Yoongi coughs on the other line, and Jungkook apologizes for zoning out. “Look. It won’t hurt to ask him. You want to bring him there, or…?


“I mean, either way, we’ll have to run into my family or his. They’re persistent,” He chuckles, pulling the phone from his ear and putting the older male on speaker so he could multitask. “But I’ve never been up there during the winter, which is weird isn’t it? I think it’d be beautiful.”  A couple texts from his classmates, and one from Seokjin asking if he’d eaten dinner yet. He smiles fondly, giving a one-word confirmation. 


Easy. Ask him if you could spend the holidays up there,” Yoongi says. 


Jungkook bites his lip. “And what if he says no?”


Silence. “Well, it’s worth a try.” 


He receives a reply from Seokjin. It’s nothing special, but perhaps it’s the push he needs to bring it up to him the next time they call. He has nothing to lose. 


“Okay, thanks hyung.” Jungkook says, receiving a hum in response. “No, I mean it. I wish you weren’t in Japan so I could hug you,” He giggles at the characteristic grunt of displeasure from the other–he knows it holds no malice. “Like, I’ll send you a package or something for the holidays.”


Don’t worry about me, Jungkook. Good luck.

To Jungkook’s utter surprise, when he asks, Seokjin says yes. 


He inwardly berates himself for underestimating Seokjin lately, setting himself up for disappointment in even the smallest interactions. He doesn’t know what prompts it—he was never one for time apart, as someone who thrives off non-verbal cues and visual affirmations as much as verbal. 


You’re literally asking to see him on Christmas, but you’re acting like you’re fucking proposing–get a grip, I beg, he facepalms, but isn’t complaining any further. Jungkook winds himself up, all tense until Seokjin does the exact opposite of the worst-case scenario. That’s definitely something he has to add to his roster of shower thoughts for much needed reflection. 


They manage to video call this time. Although his beautiful boyfriend is in the form of pixels blobbed together, and his audio doesn’t match his movements at all–but for Jungkook it’s enough. He’s enough.


“Wait, really? So…Christmas?” 


“Of course, jagi.” Seokjin beams at him, and god, Jungkook could melt right now. “But are you sure you want to come here? I wouldn’t mind the commute to Seoul–”


Jungkook waves his hand dismissively, with a dramatic air that makes Seokjin’s grin grow impossibly wide. “I’ve never been more sure. I bet it’s all cozy in the cottage, watching the snowfall–oh, I’m so excited. Not like Seoul, with gross street sludge.”


“But I haven’t been to Seoul in a long time either,” Seokjin counters. 


The two sit there, Jungkook deep in thought–having Seokjin come to Seoul would also be amazing. They could get hotteok together, gloved-hand in gloved-hand as they window-shop for clothes that cost more than his first-year dorm’s rent. Then they could end the night, maybe warm and wonderfully buzzed if he manages to drag him to a pojangmacha for comfort food.


He arrives at a conclusion, and it seems Seokjin’s beat him to it with the exact same sentiment. “Well, it doesn’t matter to me, as long as I’m with you.”


And there it is. 


“You’re so corny, hyung.” Jungkook giggles, pressing the back of his hand against his heated face. 


“Hey, I mean it!” Seokjin exclaims, laughter like music to his ears. “Here or there, it’s fine as long as I get to see you. I don’t think I can wait until summer again.”


“I don’t think I can either,” Jungkook replies, softer. He almost says I miss you, but he holds his tongue in order to keep the mood in high spirits. Here or there…




Hyung!” He blurts out after a minute or two of amiable silence. “I got it. How about I go there for Christmas, then you come to Seoul for New Years?” 


Seokjin’s face mirrors his, one of awe–Jungkook is quite proud of himself, envisioning the trip already as he continues chattering away. “I can drive–yeah! I can drive, and then we drive together to Seoul, and-and I’ll see you off at the train station whenever you have to go! How does that sound?”


With the way Seokjin looks at him like that, his favourite kind of gaze reserved only for him, one that makes him feel special and brings back fleeting memories of golden summers, Jungkook knows he’s won. “Sounds perfect, baby.”


“I’m so excited, you don’t even know,” Jungkook says gleefully, and beams when Seokjin once again, is doing the exact same thing. 


“So am I, Jungkook-ah.” He sighs happily in return. “So am I.”


6 days until I see Seokjin hyung!! 


Jungkook can't help but grin at the message reminder on his phone. He’s out right now at a quaint little restaurant celebrating the end of his exams with Jimin and Yeonjun, a couple of classmates he’s befriended over the past year. The former, had taken a gap year which had landed him in many of Jungkook’s classes, while the latter of the two was fast-tracking his electives. 


His cheeks turn a dark red when they tease, and he turns the display off. 


“Ah, no need to act shy, we all know you’re texting your lovely boyfriend,” Jimin sighs, reaching his cup out for Yeonjun to pour him a drink. “As always. Don’t let us stop you from your virtual hot date.”


“It’s not that, besides I call him every night. We have time,” Jungkook shakes his head, smiling and holding his glass out as well. “I’m sorry guys. I’m just excited, is all. It’s my first time going up there in the winter,”


Why?” They chirp at the same time, startling Jungkook and the poor patrons at the table behind them.


“Can you guys quiet down?” Jungkook whines, with no real malice. 


“Why?” Jimin whisper-yells.


“I thought I told you guys.” Jungkook pouts. Suddenly his plate surrounded by little dishes of banchan are much more interesting than the two pairs of feline eyes boring into his head. “It just never really happened. Plus, we were kids—I don’t know. My parents never felt like driving up there?”


“Did you ask if you could go, though? Or did you just assume?” Jimin raises an eyebrow. As the eldest of the trio, Jimin is a bit more outspoken and had gotten comfortable with them quite fast. And sweet Yeonjun, while he’s equally as hyper at times, definitely allows them to have their hand at getting all they need to say first.


“Well, when I did ask a long time ago, they kind of said something about the snow…and wanting to spend it as just our family, which is understandable.” 


“Or you could ask like, now.”


There’s a pregnant pause, as the server comes with their food. Jungkook takes the chance to change the subject, because his brain is running in circles–why hasn’t he asked his parents yet? 


Oh yeah, because he hasn’t told them about him and Seokjin. Because, well, Seokjin doesn’t want to, for reasons that he’s tried, but can’t wrap his brain around. Instead of addressing it, Jungkook shuts himself up and allows himself to enjoy his kimchi jjigae, allowing Yeonjun to take over with his commentary about their dinner. 


As someone who’s grown up alongside Seokjin, who has received that special gaze reserved only for him, has viewed the older male as his home away from home–Jungkook is suddenly scared, and feeling a bit ill at how he draws a blank when trying to explain himself to his friends. The bubble that was just Jungkook and Seokjin, Seokjin and Jungkook seemed like the simplest thing ever––tangible, happy, warm. And now, even trying to explain their situation props up red flags that he isn’t sure are legitimate. He’d blame this entire spiral on the couple gulps from his cup of beer in a last-ditch attempt to feel better, but unfortunately makes it worse. 


“So,” Jimin says, unprompted. “For my holiday, Joonie’s coming to meet my family.”


Oh god. It just got so much worse. Jungkook mirrors Yeonjun’s ecstatic expression, feigning excitement and trying his best to salvage what little appetite he has left by taking an overly eager bite of his dinner.


“That’s great hyung!” Yeonjun exclaims, with a weak yeah, wonderful from Jungkook. 


Jimin shovels some rice in his mouth, but that doesn’t stop him from chattering away. “It took some convincing, but it’s been a year, so…I honestly was willing to wait as long as possible until he was ready,” He shrugs. “I’m his first boyfriend, after all.”


The world must really love or hate Jungkook–he has the dying urge to either ask Jimin how they did it, while simultaneously wanting the conversation to end there. 


“Ah, I wish I could do that,” Yeonjun grumbles. “You two are so sweet.”


Jimin pinches Yeonjun’s cheek, laughing when the younger swats him away. “It took some coaxing out of his shell, but open communication is important. Take notes, Yeonjun-ah, for your throuple–”


“It’s not a throuple–” Yeonjun hides his face behind his hands. “Yet.”


Jimin and Yeonjun engage in a back-and-forth, and Jungkook can only watch fondly, chipping away at his meal as his appetite dwindles with every bite. 


Jungkook’s honestly zoned out at this point, and he doesn’t realize he’s said something until his two companions stop talking. “Jin-hyung isn’t comfortable with me telling our parents.” 


“Oh…” Jimin hums, and there’s a look of sympathy crossing his face. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry, Gguk. So…when you go over there…?”


Jungkook pokes around with his spoon, stirring the now lukewarm broth. “It’s complicated.” He winces. It sounds bad, but it’s true–it’s what Seokjin said himself. “It is, he said something like…how we were childhood friends before and how I need to be patient with him. I don’t know, maybe it’s just an adjustment period for him? And it sucks because he’s hours away, so we rely on calling and his Wi-Fi sucks, and I’ve been so tired lately I’ve fallen asleep like four times on him–”


Yeonjun mumbles, “I wish I was friends with Gyu and Soobin before trying to date–ow!” 


Jimin pinches his ear this time, effectively shutting the youngest up. “But it’s not like he’s in another country…can’t you guys just…I don’t know, commute one weekend?”


“That’s what he’s doing for Christmas,” Yeonjun supplies, unfazed by the exaggerated roll of Jimins’ eyes. 


“I mean other than Christmas.” 


Jungkook crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow. “Stop talking like I’m not here,”




“Look, what I mean is. Literally…if it’s possible why can’t he just commute here, if anything?”


Jungkook wracks his brain for explanations. “I don’t know. I just kind of went with it–it was never our thing, growing up? And we’d probably have to explain to our parents why he’s suddenly choosing to see me more frequently when that’s never been a thing, and you already know how he doesn’t want to tell…” Jungkook slows down his rambling. Yeonjun and Jimin don’t look convinced at all, rather fixating him with that sympathetic, no, pitiful expression. “And…” 


Back to square one. 


He feels awfully vulnerable, and he isn’t sure he likes it. Would Seokjin appreciate him airing out his dirty laundry to his friends behind his back? Their problems? 


He catches himself again, and his face contorts. What are you thinking, Jungkook? Why are you thinking of him like this? Friends do it all the time, and Seokjin would probably do the same if he could, right? Would he tell someone like Taehyung, his cousin?


And for no reason at all, that idea unearths an unpleasant time from the summer, one that he knows is patched up and compartmentalized to never talk about unless it’s to look back in jest. If Jungkook’s frown deepens, Jimin notices. 


“You know what,” Jimin says, demeanor calm and comforting. 


At this point, Jungkook is beyond uncomfortable, and guilt is starting to build up for ruining the vibe of the evening. It’s scary how Jimin can be sensitive to others as quickly as he is sociable, especially in the short amount of time they’ve known him. “You don’t need to explain anymore, Gguk. If you ever need us though, you can always come and talk, okay?”


Yeonjun nods. “If you’re not comfortable, we can talk about something else.”


“Like your throuple?” Jungkook adds, sheepishly. 




“Finish up,” Jimin chimes in. “I’m paying, and then we can dip and go to the bar?”


“Say no more,” Jungkook snickers. 

It was ass-o’clock when Jungkook finally plugged his dead phone in, and when the notifications rushed in, nausea hit him like a freight train the next morning. Fuck.


He scrambles to call Seokjin, scrolling through his call and text logs. He winces at the three missed calls and seeing a couple messages–Seokjin isn’t the type to spam text let alone spam call, but the texts were eerie enough to spark some concern. 


Gguk, we on for tonight? Hyung misses you


Jungkook? Call me? 


Are you still out? Text me when you get home safe :(


Ah, I saw your story! 


Have fun,,,


He sits there and the dial tone doesn’t ring for long, but the silence does. If they were in a room together, surely his hyung would be urging him with his expressive eyes to speak first. 


“Hyung,” Jungkook breathes, voice hoarse and dry. “Hey.”


Hi,” Seokjin replies on the other line, equally as quiet. 


A request for a FaceTime video comes on, and Jungkook curses. He sits up, brushing a hand through his unruly hair and slapping his cheeks a couple of times to add some color to his pale face. He accepts, fixing a smile and inwardly cringing at the shiny spot on his forehead–great, he forgot to wash his face last night. 


“How’re you feeling? How was your night out?” Seokjin questions. He’s lying on his side, in a soft sweater and practically glowing in the brightness that engulfs his entire room, unlike Jungkook’s which is plunged in darkness. 


Jungkook tries to navigate his responses as best as he could with his looming headache. He’s picking up on little things, and he can’t tell if they’re legitimate, manifestations of his hangover-bird-brain. He’s going from the sensitive conversation he had with Jimin and Yeonjun before he got shitfaced, to the fact that Seokjin didn’t call him any pet names at all in this call so far. God. 


“Um, it was really fun, with Jimin-hyung and Yeonjun.” He speaks. “We had dinner, and then went out to a couple bars. Which! I didn’t plan on it, we didn’t plan to do it–but you know, stressed students and all. Haha.” 


“...riiiight.” Seokjin raises an eyebrow, smile not faltering but somehow loses a little bit of its warmth. “That’s totally fine, hanging out with your friends is good. You guys deserve it, it must’ve been a relief to finish your finals, huh?”


“Mmhm,” Jungkook nods. “You’re not…mad?”


The smile slips off. Then it comes back, and Jungkook knows it’s supposed to be comforting but instead it’s making him shrink into himself, slumping down into his pillows. “Of course not? Why would I be?” He sighs, forcing the corners of his lips up. “Jungkook, it happens. You’re good.” 


Unconvinced, Jungkook nods again. If Seokjin can tell, he doesn’t press any further. Instead, he asks, “How’s Jiminie doing? And the other one…Yeonjun, right?”


Seokjin is well aware of Jungkook’s friendship with Jimin that had bloomed and is slowly becoming acquainted with Yeonjun. And of course, he knew tidbits of Jimin’s relationship, as the topic crossed a few times in their phone calls. But now, Jungkook isn’t sure if he should mention Jimin’s boyfriend meeting his family, as it steered the conversation to them in the end. 


In a quick decision to try and maintain some sort of normal behaviour, Jungkook says, “Jimin’s doing great. And so is Yeonjunnie–we’ve tried to help him with his potential throuple,” 


Seokjin guffaws. “Oh god, I’m surprised they’re not together yet.”


“That’s what I’m saying! The guy can flirt–not as badly as you or Jimin–” “Hey!” “–but the moment they turn it back on him he becomes so shy, it’s terrible,” Jungkook laughs. 


Seokjin’s shoulders are shaking, and when he finally calms down from his own fit of laughter, he asks, “And how’s Jimin’s boyfriend? The handsome plant boy?”


“Ah...Namjoon’s finally going to meet his family for the holidays. Only took them a year, so I’m happy for them.” 


“That’s great, good for them,” Seokjin adds. “I’m happy also.”


He wants to snap, suddenly. The urge hits him out of nowhere. Would you be happy if we did that? Are you happy with the way things are right now? 


And clearly, it hangs in the air, heavy and awkward. Back in his icebreaker orientation days in Japan with Yoongi, Jungkook was always told it’s only awkward if you make it awkward, and well…


This is fucking awkward. 


“So that’s what kept you all busy last night,” Seokjin jokes, and it doesn’t hit right. His eyes are closed, so he doesn’t see the panic flash across Jungkook’s face. 


“Well, we talked about other stuff too, obviously.”


Seokjin hums. “Like?”


“Well, I just told them how I’m gonna go and see you, talked about staying at your cottage and what it would be like if you came to Seoul. They’d love to meet you in person.” Jungkook admits. He grins when Seokjin’s ears pinken, and he lets out a meek I’m flattered, of course. 


Despite the chaotic mental whirlwind going on in his brain, he still smiles fondly because seeing Seokjin? It soothes him like a balm, he wants to see him so bad, over anything. “Then they just kinda asked some stuff, but we all did that to each other. I mostly talked about how excited I was.”


Unfortunately, his boyfriend throws him a curveball. Out of nowhere.  “It’s okay if…you confided in them, Jungkook. They’re good friends. I don’t know what exactly was said, but I have a hunch. It’s what people do when they’re gathered together like that.”


Curse him and his intuition, honestly–Seokjin is scarily observant, picking up on cues before Jungkook even realizes he’s exhibiting them. Usually, it’s not that big of a deal but this–Jungkook feels exposed.


Jungkook’s face falls. His stomach lurches. “What do you mean?”


“You know what I mean.” Seokjin replies softly.


“Now hold on, they didn’t say anything wrong, hyung,” Jungkook says, and bites his tongue because it comes out more accusatory than he intended. “I just…”


And now, he’s been backed into a corner. If he lies, he’s probably going to regret it more. It would weigh on him for days. “Told them we didn’t tell our parents yet. That’s it. That’s literally it,”


“I knew it.” Seokjin smiles sadly. “It’s okay, I mean. It’s true,” He shrugs. “I’m not going to stop you from talking about it. I’m glad you guys had a good time.”


Jungkook frowns. His boyfriend sounds clipped, forced, and so unlike himself. 


The uneasy sensation is familiar, one that Jungkook hasn’t felt since summer. A bubbling hostility threatening to burst at the worst moments, a concoction of emotions brewed in the confines of Jungkook’s mind. The lack of Seokjin, the unfamiliar pains of long distance that brings feelings of so close yet so far, mixed with his insecurity, unknown feelings and beyond have Jungkook reacting irrationally. And what sucks is that he knows. It’s not Seokjin’s fault he’s not ready, and he drowns in guilt every time he dwells on it. But he’s brought back to the times where he’s felt steps behind Seokjin, like he always had been, and is so afraid will always be. He’s so afraid, and Seokjin’s not here. His parents can’t even help because they don’t know. 


“You said you weren’t mad.” Jungkook ekes out. 


“If I’m being honest, I’m not.”


“I can feel it–


“But you can’t expect me to be thrilled that we missed out on an opportunity to talk, Jungkook..” 


Jungkook’s brows furrow. He doesn’t bother to school his expression anymore, clearly Seokjin isn’t either as the smile is gone from his face, and his features are set in an infuriatingly neutral state. “It was one time, and I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, baby. But what about two days ago, when you said you’d call back in thirty, and I waited for like, two hours?”


“Okay, Jimin-hyung needed help with something,”


“Some communication would help, though,” Seokjin cuts in. “Like, you couldn’t have shot me a text so I wouldn’t lose sleep?”


And for some weird reason, Jungkook takes offense. Or maybe, he’s just being petty. “I–oh, so you’re losing sleep because of our calls?”


“Jesus Christ, that’s not what I meant,” Seokjin groans, and Jungkook is suddenly fixated on the way he throws his head back, palming his face. He’s still not mad, and it frustrates Jungkook more and he can’t pinpoint why. He feels like a child, misunderstanding everything and blowing everything out of proportion, and Seokjin is scolding him for it. 


“That’s what it sounded like,” Jungkook trails off, pouting. His head is pounding, and he just wants this conversation to end. “I would lose sleep forever if I could get a chance to talk to you!”


“That’s funny, you’ve also fallen asleep on our calls multiple times, Jungkook. I get you’re not super big on texting. I get it, shit comes up and we move on. You’re busy with finals, studying, whatever, but it wouldn’t kill you to just tell me.” His voice raises, and Jungkook swallows in a struggle to quell the growing lump in his throat. “I try to be sympathetic, but newsflash! The distance is just as hard for me as it is for you!”


This is the most Seokjin’s ever spoken to him in that tone, and it’s such a contrast to how he would usually speak to him–in fact, it’s his first time ever. His honey-sweet timbre has sharpened into something stressful, taut with tension and stress and Jungkook can't believe he had any part in causing that. He’s been lectured before, but in a manner that was calm, firm, but with care. Not like this.


He’s never had a boyfriend, and briefly he wonders if Jimin and Namjoon had ever fought like this. Jungkook never really faced such a stream of hostility from any friends or family in his life, not even Yoongi, and the thought of it throws him in a loop. He senses tears welling up in his eyes, and the way Seokjin’s face folds does nothing to ease the whiplash he’s experiencing–he doesn’t know how to deal with it, with anything.


With that being said, he obviously has to say the worst possible response ever. 


“Then why can’t we just see each other more, we’re literally only hours apart, not countries apart!” Jungkook pleads. “It’s possible, it really is. We can–” He chokes up. What would they do, if Jungkook is on a completely different wavelength from Seokjin? 


“Play a secret every time I go to your parents’? Having to explain why I’m suddenly breaking our annual visit patterns to go see you? I’m not ready, Jungkook, I said I’d tell you why once I figure out how to say it.” Seokjin explains, and he’s more exasperated rather than angry. “I thought you understood to be patient with me.”


“I did, and I’m sorry,” Jungkook bites his lip–he’s not a pretty sight in the corner of his phone screen, but he doesn’t really care anymore. “I just miss you and want to see you soon, but we can’t and I just don’t know what to do to help you out,”


“Nothing, really. There’s not much.” And he’s stifling into his hand when Seokjin harshly wipes his own tears away before they can drop, eyes glassy and unfocused as they’re looking at anything but him. Jungkook’s so busy trying to calm his breathing that he doesn’t register how long Seokjin isn’t speaking. Until, he shakily apologizes with a weak, “Hyung is sorry, Gguk.”


Jungkook shakes his head. It hurts like a bitch when he does, like an anvil is threatening to crush his skull in. He should’ve taken an Advil before doing anything today. Then again, he didn’t really pen a full-blown argument with Seokjin on the agenda. “Look at me, hyung. You said communication is important, I’d do anything.”


“You shouldn’t have to,” Seokjin exhales, guilt swirling in his eyes when he finally looks at him. “I…you’ve been doing your best; this is literally a me problem. It’s unfair to you, please–”


“But I’m with you, so talk to me,” Jungkook grovels. “We can even talk it out when I get there, if it’s easier. Only five more days–”


Seokjin cringes as if he’s in pain and cuts him off. “About that…I think it’s best if you don't come.”


Jungkook jaw drops at that–his tears for the most part have stopped coming.  “What–no! Why?


“We’ve been here before–and we’ve talked about these things before, and honestly, you don’t deserve to deal with…” Seokjin gives a teary smile, gesturing to his face with a wave of the hand. Before Jungkook can protest further, cry out no it’s not your fault, he keeps going. And Jungkook lets him, because above everything he wants to do, he’s speechless. “You need to have a happy holiday without needing to walk on eggshells around the entire town. I don’t want to subject you to that, even if you say you’re fine with it.”


His chest hurts. Jungkook blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. “Are you breaking up with me?”


Seokjin’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head, hand reaching out as if he’s about to cup his cheek, brushing away the impending waterworks that he senses in his eyes. To his relief, he’s frantic when saying, “No, oh my God, no, baby. That’s not what I’m saying at all, I’m so sorry. Fuck,” The curse seems to be directed to him rather than Jungkook, and everything is hurting. 


“Then what?” Jungkook blubbers. He sounds whiney, pathetic, the anger between the both of them has melted into something bittersweet and filled with longing. 


“I want you to be happy, and I need to get my shit together so you can come here and be happy while doing so. I know damn well you aren’t right now after talking in circles with me.” Seokjin asserts with such finality that Jungkook can’t even muster a better answer. His heart is breaking though, because he can’t fathom being happy away from Seokjin any longer, either. “Just visit me in the summer, as always, okay? I love you, but I can’t keep doing this to you, dealing with this–” There he goes, gesturing to himself again. “So, I need us to just not talk for a few days.”


“I don’t like this.” Jungkook complains. 


“Neither do I. But…just for a bit, please?”


Jungkook whimpers. He’s hurt Seokjin enough today. “…fine.” He wipes a gross amount of snot onto his bare arm, letting out a weak sob when Seokjin smiles at him, as equally a mess as he is. “I love you.”


“I know.”





The next two days are downright miserable. Seokjin is staying true to his word on not talking to him. On the day of their fight, Jungkook had tried to send a cheeky text, only to be hit with an equally cheeky emoji from Seokjin, along with: ddaeng. I’m sorry, but no talking, remember? 


Yoongi’s fully in the loop by now, and his parents are doing a terrible job at concealing their concern. 


He’s two seconds away from crying into his kimchi fried rice when his mom softly asks, “What’s wrong, Jungkook-ah?”


“Nothin’,” He mumbles. 


His mother sits in front of him, and Jungkook slouches more to avoid her eyes. “You know I don’t like it when you murmur like that, and I can tell you’re upset. It’s quite noticeable, actually.” She has a sad, but knowing smile, and Jungkook’s bottom lip wobbles. 


Jungkook knows he wears his heart on his sleeve. What a great match he is with the ever-so-perceptive Kim Seokjin, whose emotions are masked so easily, so naturally that he discovers new mannerisms and cues every time they talk. If Seokjin had encountered every side of Jungkook, the younger probably only knew a fraction of his. 


“I fought with Seokjin-hyung.” 


His mother’s face falls, and Jungkook shovels a spoon of rice in his mouth–maybe that’ll stop him from crying. It doesn’t, and the hand that reaches for him doesn’t help either. “Oh, baby…”


“It’s my fault.” He hiccups. 


It’s quiet, but it’s not filled with any kind of tension–it’s comforting, he is aware that his mom is watching, but her gaze holds no judgment. She waits until his first wave of tears is gone, and she continues. “You and Seokjin have gotten along well lately, hm? You always have…”


Jungkook nods, and he nearly asks if she knows, but he decides against it, Seokjin’s words echoing in his mind. When I’m ready…be patient with me. 


“B-But I pushed him a bit too much on a call,” Jungkook laments.


“About what, do you mind me asking?” 


Without much thought, he admits their plan to meet up at the cottages for Christmas. He white lies his way through, saying it’s a spontaneous idea after their great summer together, between very good friends. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner.”


“Now why are you apologizing?” She frowns at him. “My sweet boy, as much as you’re my baby, you’re also very much grown. You are welcome to visit him,”


“But we never went in the winter before…”


His mother pauses, deflating a bit. “Ah…that was really just the choice your father and I made–it’s a long trip and driving in summer is a bit easier–but you, if you were up to it, don’t let me stop you.”


Now this really makes Jungkook cry, because wow, that was easy, all I had to do was ask. At this, he feels so much lighter–yet he’s brought back down just as quickly. Communication really has been a skill he’s neglected. “Now I can’t go. He told me not to come.”


She raises an eyebrow at that, and he can’t understand why she’s reacting that way. “Why not?


“‘Cos he said so. Because I messed everything up.”


“What else did he say?” His mom says. 


“He said to not talk to him for a few days. This was like…two days ago already? But it seems like it’s been forever, mom. I miss him.”


“Then go,”


Jungkook roughly digs his knuckles into his tired eyes. “Mom, I just said–


“I know what you said, Jungkook-ah.” His mom smiles. “And I still think you should go. I know Seokjin, and I know his mother even better–he cares about you, Jungkook. And I think they would really appreciate you showing up.”


“I…I can’t,” Jungkook hesitates. “He’ll just turn me right back where I came from. I couldn’t stay even if I wanted to.”


His mom leans back, crossing her arms. “You know how I got your father to fall in love with me, Jungkook-ah?”


He really isn’t sure why she’s bringing this up out of nowhere, but he’s heard renditions of their love story before. It’s a charming story, if you will–his mom being the noona who stole his heart and all. “Because you wouldn’t stop bugging him?” He teases, giggling when his mom lightly swats at him. He basks in that moment of serotonin. 


“Incorrect!” She gives a huff, a single laugh escaping her. “It’s because I was persistent, honey. He saw how much I liked him, it intimidated him a bit! Couldn’t believe someone like me was so interested, but I didn’t give up–and that seemed to do it for him.” She speaks. “Now I’m not saying to chase him, especially since the boy’s set up some boundaries for the time being. Do what feels right, but also respect what he wants.”


Jungkook’s brain is whirring at this information. It still didn’t feel right to do this, to contact Seokjin let alone show up at his damn doorstep.  I need us to just not talk for a few days. 


For a few days. 


For a few days. 


“Mom, you’re a genius.”


“You can say that again–”


“I’m going to need the car. And don’t tell Ms. Kim.”


“Now wait–” She starts, but Jungkook’s finishing the last bits of his meal, and making a beeline to his room to prepare, heart alight. 


Jungkook spends the next couple days preparing, packing, and talking to Yoongi, Jimin and Yeonjun for ideas on how to best surprise Seokjin–assuming the man would still be a bit upset from their last discussion, he didn’t want his visit to turn sour as soon as he knocked on that door. 


Through lots of hour-long calls, Jungkook plans to send Seokjin a vague message, just as a heads up without giving too much away before he takes off.  He maps out his route, excitement thrumming in his veins. He’s nervous, but the moment he re-finalized his trip he felt unstoppable. 


His mom had barged into his room the day that he decided he was going to surprise Seokjin at the cottages, worry evident from her pinched facial expression to her body panting for air as she rushed after him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” She asked. 


“What,” Jungkook paused. “Seeing Seokjin-hyung?” When she nodded, he tried not to stress himself out. He wanted to do this, needed to do this. “I won’t be there for long, promise, just like. Three or four days,” He whined. 


He pouted when she fixed him with a wary look. “I don’t know…”


“But you were the one who just told me to ‘not give up and be persistent’ and stuff!”


She exhaled, pressing a hand against her forehead. She looked as distressed as he felt. “Okay, I know I said that, and I stand by it but…is it really a good idea for you to do this now? Driving in this weather?”


“I don’t know what you mean…” Jungkook trailed off. He’d been occupied all day, and his mind was scattered with what he’s going to say to Seokjin, how he was going to approach Seokjin, preparing for a bazillion different ways his visit could fail–he couldn’t even think about the weather, of all things. He shrunk under his mom’s gaze, laughing sheepishly. “Oh. I should probably check that, huh.”


Lo and behold, the forecast projected snowfall for the day of his departure, along with a lovely snowstorm warning. “Okay…okay, well…”


And, as he had his suitcase wide open on the floor, an armful of clothes already piling up inside, Jungkook thought about it. They have winter tires, and it isn’t like they live in the Arctic Circle or something—growing up as a kid, their snowstorms were nothing more than a foot of soft snow that crumbled under the slightest pressure. Then, snowstorms aside, what if he successfully makes it? What if his visit did go south, resulting in the door slammed in his face? Will he have the strength to haul his ass back home? Will Ms. Kim wonder why her son and his childhood-friend-boyfriend were arguing at the doorstep? Will she accept their relationship, or turn him away? 


The contemplation of any and all possibilities made Jungkook’s stomach churn, and admittedly was so close to just putting his stuff back inside his closet, ready to spend the holidays waiting out the storm all alone. 


He then glanced at his phone, devoid of any messages from the person he wanted to see the most. And frankly, weirdly enough, that had been enough to redirect his mind. “Yeah, I’m sure, I’ll be fine. I miss him.”


So here he is, two hours into his drive.


His phone has been silenced from the slew of confused text messages from Seokjin–which is fair, because Jungkook sent a cryptic see you before mustering Peak Self-Control, making a vow to not answer until he got there. 


Around the three-hour mark, what was initially a light snowfall is now snow falling in thick flakes, his windshields cranked up to the highest setting to catch up with the downpour. The further away from the city he is, the more he can see the special weather warnings that the weather app warned him about that morning. Cars are slowing down, and the skies are grey, getting darker and darker with every passing minute. 


Now, Jungkook considers himself a good driver. But the moment he exits the highway, the road becomes increasingly rugged. Every turn to a side street brought more difficulty in steering, and the lack of streetlights in the area did nothing to calm Jungkook’s growing panic. The car rocks with every bump in the snowy road. When did it snow this much, he thinks, the vast expanse of white in his headlights prompting him to drive much slower, tires groaning as he mows his way through? 


His mother’s warning about the weather echoes in his mind and he sort of wants to bash his head into the steering wheel. “I sure as hell will not call her,” He says to himself, a bit bothered because as always, his mom was right. 


He’s vaguely familiar with the area now, tall trees void of the thicket of pretty green leaves that would cast a comforting shadow over him in the summertime. If he remembers correctly, he should continue straight driving until he hits the village–the GPS confirms this, and he calms down a little. Multiple times he’s been tempted to call Seokjin, send him a text out of sheer nerves and excitement. 


The urge to call Seokjin reaches its peak when Jungkook feels the car lurch downwards. The front tips over in what seems like a pothole or a fault in the dirt road underneath all the snow. From all his trips to the cottage this miniscule obstacle usually wouldn’t be an issue as the roads are typically beaten and rough.


But that isn’t the case, unfortunately when Jungkook is unable to pull himself out. He tries to reverse, and the car nudges backward, but not enough to push him out. He switches gears and struggles to use the momentum to drive himself forward. Instead, the tires are spinning, gaining no friction and he swears he’s dug himself deeper. “Shit.” 


It’s dark, the car is rumbling angrily with each panicked press of the gas. 


Jungkook isn’t aware of how much sweat he’s excreted until he presses a hand to his forehead, grimacing at the slick sensation. 


He checks his phone, and lo and behold—the signal is nonexistent. Fuck. If Seokjin texted him, he wouldn’t get it, and vice versa. 


“Fuck,” He breathes. 


The flurry of snowflakes crossing his headlights—Jungkook’s only source of light for his very limited line of sight—aren’t helping. He’s tearing at the skin of his lips as he thinks about what to do. Part of him wants to sit in the driver’s seat and have a good cry, and another part of him wants to get out and run the rest of the way–not the smartest idea though, not when his car is the only thing in the middle of nowhere for what could be several kilometres.


The most logical thing to do is wait until morning—it’s 10pm, and sure, he’ll be buried under snow and will be forced to dust it off with whatever trinket he’s got in his underprepared car. What if someone comes and helps me? That’ll work, right? But he’s impatient, he’s anxious, not knowing when that will be. Snowplows can only go so far, and he has no clue if the village is even considered for such services. On roads like these, he doubts it. 


Instead in pure Jungkook fashion, he decides to zip up his jacket, and proceeds to bust the door open, throwing himself into the freezing cold. 


He isn’t sure what possesses him to do so, but next thing he knows, he’s holding his phone up, shielding it with his hand to wave off the wet flakes falling onto his screen. Even a single bar of signal, anything would help. He has half a brain to stand up on the top of his car, and act like a human antennae trying to reach the telephone poles located in god knows where. 


Jungkook shivers, slowly walking in circles and straying away from his car. 


He doesn’t even care about spoiling the surprise anymore–the longer he dwells on it, the more he misses Seokjin. His brain replays their last conversation. His thoughts take him to avenues of alternate endings and how he could’ve made it better, what he can do to fix the flaws in their relationship that hung uncertain in the air. 


His feet are uncomfortably cold and wet as he underestimated the depth of the snow, low cut boots doing nothing to keep him warm. But he doesn’t care–the further he treks, the more frantic he gets–his fingers are freezing, trembling as they constantly tap the screen to keep it awake. 


Jungkook isn’t sure how much time has passed, but he finally gets a couple bars–and when he shines his flashlight, his chest tightens at the sight. The river, the same one where he and Seokjin would spend time in every summer, clear water splashing between them is now darker than night itself, the rushing stream loud in the silence of his surroundings. He turns and sees the little bridge stretching over the river along with the cobblestone road beside it. 


He whirls his head back–he’s come a lot further than he thought. He honestly hopes he can find his way back to the car. 


“Ah, Seokjin-hyung.” Jungkook mutters to himself, not wanting to waste any more time. With shaky hands, he dials Seokjin’s number. 


He curses under his breath when he’s met with a voicemail, and he starts to walk. He calls again, eyes widening as the sky becomes illuminated with the cozy warm light seeping from cottage windows. He’s here, he’s really here. 


And he nearly drops his phone into the snow when Seokijn finally answers, voice tired. Jungkook wonders if the older male was sleeping. Part of him is guilty, as if he’s the cause for why Seokijn sounds half-awake. “Hey hyung, um. Don’t freak out, okay?”


“...trying not to,” Seokjin replies, his tone a bit more alert. “What is it, what’s wrong?”


“I’m here.” Jungkook says. “Like, at the village, um. I’m on the bridge by our river, but I have a problem–”


There’s a pause. Then, a thud, and Jungkook cringes when Seokjin lets out a distant yelp on the other end of the receiver. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” He doesn’t let Jungkook respond, as he follows up with an instant, accusatory, “You’re lying,” He sounds shaky. 


Jungkook giggles. Funnily enough, despite the conditions he’s in and the state of their relationship the past week, this is the most warmth he gets from talking to Seokjin. He doesn’t feel like there’s a rift between them, even though Seokjin’s currently communicating with him through his phone. His cheeks are straining from how dry they’ve become during his time outside, and it’s a crude reminder of why he resorted to doing this to begin with. 


“I’m not! Hyung, I swear to god. Look, we can talk about this later but um…long story short, my car is stuck and I found my way here on foot, and the signal is terrible and I’m really, really cold.” Jungkook rambles. “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m so sorry, it was reckless of me,” He continues, panicking when he hears Seokjin’s voice getting a bit choppy. ‘No, no, don’t bail on me now signal I swear–


Seokjin cuts him off. “Why are you apologizing? Jesus, Gguk. I’m coming, I’ll tell my dad and we can help you. Wait there!”


Jungkook is speechless–he shouldn’t be as elated hearing his pet name fall from his lips for the first time in months, in addition to Seokjin bringing his parents into this. It’s far from appropriate, but he’s just so grateful, and he makes it known. Seokjin accepts it and doesn’t dismiss him. 


He’s grinning as he tries to make himself more visible, turning his flashlight on and directing Seokjin and his father through the phone.


From where he is, anticipation builds as he can see in the distance–two figures coming out of a quaint little cottage, silhouettes appearing in the warm lighting. It’s undeniably his Seokjin, as his upper body is twisting trying to see where he is. Jungkook yells for them, waving his phone and he sees recognition in their stance. 


“I see you!” Seokjin exclaims. 


The taller figure jumps past the bend in the road, stumbles past the break in the street barriers while hollering all kinds of things that Jungkook can’t really decipher, not when his ears are cold and his heart is racing, just bracing himself. Next thing Jungkook knows he’s being pulled into the tightest embrace of his life. 


One arm is twisted a bit as he tries to hug Seokjin back–he does the best he can, fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket. Jungkook breathes him in, and chokes up a little—Seokjin is so, so warm, and he shamelessly nuzzles his nose into that safe crook of Seokjin’s neck. He could honestly cry, and he almost does, especially when Seokjin pulls back, concern written all over his handsome face. His hair is windswept and already catching a fair amount of snowflakes, and Jungkook just wants to brush it all away. He wishes he could crane his head up and kiss the crease between those furrowed brows. 


Seokjin beats him to it when he cups Jungkook’s face with mitten covered hands, and plants his lips on his frigid ones. Jungkook absolutely melts, knees buckling as he cranes his neck to meet him better, parting only to meet again with hot, bated breaths passing between them. They’re here, out in the open, where Seokjin’s dad can literally see them–he’s still a fair distance away, but the thought of Seokjin acting like this makes Jungkook dizzy.


It’s the most romantic thing ever, like something straight out of the terribly cliche dramas that Jungkook binge watches. The moment doesn’t last long, and Jungkook finds himself chasing after Seokjin when he pulls away. 


“Are you crazy, Jeon Jungkook?!” He exclaims. “Why did you come here?”


Jungkook blinks at him and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. He has nothing to lose. “It’s been a few days,”




“You said,” Jungkook exclaims, high off of exhaustion, adrenaline, and everything in between. He’s giddy, watching the realization cross Seokjin’s face. “You said to not talk to you for a few days! It’s been a few days!”


Seokjin’s frozen, before he squeezes him against his body, tight, and so warm. “You brat, always making me worried sick.”


“I’m here now,” Jungkook whispers, feeling his eyes water as he looks up at the sky. The moon is shrouded in a thin layer of clouds, the snow having calmed down from aggressive squalls to a soft and quiet descent. “I’m here.”

“Thank you so much Mr. Kim, really. It was reckless of me, so thank you and Seokjin-hyung for helping me,” Jungkook is bowing repeatedly as Mr. Kim announces he’s headed off to sleep. “Please get lots of rest,”


He gives a small smile, eyes looking at him, and then at Seokjin who is currently preparing two mugs of tea. “No worries, Jungkook-ah. You’re like family to us, of course we’re here for you.”


Mr. Kim, a quiet but soft power in the Kim household, has been present for their childhood summers spent together. As generous as they are, Jungkook feels like he owes them so much, and  bows again--it's the least he can do. “Thank you, have a good night.”


It’s silence after that, save for the gentle sound of a bedroom door closing upstairs. Seokjin makes his way over, the room dark after he shuts off the kitchen light. Jungkook fidgets with the towel around his shoulders, hair drying from the shower he took not too long ago. The fireplace is lit, wood beginning to crackle as the flame grows in front of him. They’re bathed in orange and golden hues, and when Jungkook looks at Seokjin, nothing else matters. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what. 


“I missed you.” Is the first thing he decides to say. And secondly, he apologizes.


Seokjin sighs, pushing the mug of tea into Jungkook’s hands and scooting closer to him on the couch, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I missed you too. And don’t apologize, I should be the one saying that.”


Jungkook smiles sadly, basking in the comfortable silence and mulling over his thoughts. He drinks the tea, peppermint soothing him as it trickles down his throat. “We can both be sorry. I…I was pushing you a lot, wasn’t I?”


Seokjin opens his mouth to protest, but when Jungkook makes eye contact he stops. “It’s okay, really. I didn’t even try to understand where you were coming from, a-and I acted childish again. Just like I did back in the summer. Me missing you is no excuse for being a dick.” He finishes resolutely, and stares into his mug. 


Seokjin presses impossibly closer to him, and he takes the cue to swing his legs over his lap and lean against his chest. It’s hard to look at Seokjin while feeling so vulnerable, but as he presses his ear against him, he can feel him. The older male strokes his hair, as his throat bobs trying to collect himself. “Okay. I forgive you, Gguk. And I hope you can forgive me too,”


Jungkook pouts, curling into himself. “I already did, before you could even apologize. I’ll always forgive you, hyung.”


“You shouldn’t.” 


He shoots up, his pout morphing into a frown at how Seokjin just accepts, pushing for an uneven playing field between them. He knows his hyung is selfless, but this is beyond reasonable means. Jungkook’s heart breaks at how he says it with such confidence, as if one-sided sentiments are deserved when he gets the shorter end of the stick. “Hyung…why?”


“Ah, it’s weird–”

“Then just.” Jungkook starts but bites his tongue–as impulsive as he is, ready to shoulder anything and everything Seokjin is holding, he isn’t sure how comfortable his boyfriend is with disclosing things. Hell, even he isn’t sure he can handle it, judging by how their argument went. “Say as much as you’re comfortable with, hyung. Remember what you said to me in the summer? No more figuring things out alone?” 


“You’re not wrong,” Seokjin seems to relax at last, sinking into the couch and holding Jungkook tighter. He’s moved to leave his tea on the coffee table, with Jungkook following suit. He wants to dedicate his full attention to Seokjin. 


“In all honesty, I felt strange. I mean, we’ve been friends for so long, and I’m sure we all knew how close you and I were.” Seokjin says. 


Jungkook doesn’t respond, simply nodding, watching with intent and picking up on the nonverbal cues that Seokjin displays. The furrow of his brow, the bob of his Adam’s apple, the biting of his lips before they open and speak again. “I’ve dated people, obviously. I’ve fallen in and out of love, you know the drill.”


“Yeah, I know,” Jungkook quips, coming out a bit more brattier than he intended it to be, but he’s smiling when Seokjin snickers and runs a reassuring hand down his arm, lacing their fingers together. 


“Shush, you.” Seokjin laughs. “Anyways. I’ve even dated friends before. I love all the people who are in my life, and you included, obviously. But I think it was two summers ago where I realized you were special. You always were, but something shifted.”


Jungkook peers up at Seokjin, cheeks reddening. He was turning 21, two summers ago. Back when he had just started becoming comfortable in his own skin, doe-eyed and eager to take on the world, preparing to head off to Japan for his exchange in the following September. “Really?” He says softly. 


“Really. I don’t know, I thought it was just the whole buildup to you leaving, and me missing you. That might have messed with me, I thought of a ton of other things that might have influenced me,” Seokjin admits, ears turning equally as red. “As you can tell, I was in denial. I still am, sometimes, when I think about when we first got together.”


Jungkook shakes his head. “I don’t understand, hyung. I mean…we love each other, and that’s all that should matter, right?”


“Of course, baby, but…” Seokjin huffs out a breath, taking time to ponder his next words. “It’s complicated, like I said. I was always conflicted when it came to dating friends to begin with, afraid to ruin what we already had. The same could be said for you, and when we finally got together, I thought to myself: do I really deserve this, a person like Jungkook?


Jungkook tries not to argue at that statement, one he’s heard all too much. But he can’t blame his hyung–the more he speaks, the more he sees, feels, and understands Seokjin. 


Seokjin’s gazing at the fireplace, as he continues to talk. “This denial I had, it made it hard for me to tell my parents. It just made it all the more real. I was scared. Things were changing, and I wanted to grasp onto things that were familiar and that felt safe in that moment. That’s why I didn’t tell them anything, and didn't want to explain why I was breaking the silly little tradition of seeing you once a year only. It’s stupid when I say it now, to be honest.”


“Not stupid.” Jungkook counters. “I mean…when you said you loved me back for the first time, I thought it was too good to be true. So, I guess we’re in the same boat there…I think me being away from you definitely didn’t help though. You know me, getting in my head, not having anyone to reassure me because I couldn’t tell anyone–” the struggle of it all: memories that night at the bar with Jimin and Yeonjun, their argument and silent treatment period all flood his brain, and he tries not to cry. Again. “–I tried to be rational about it because we were together, but at the same time we weren’t. It was hard.”


He took a breath. “I got insecure about us, hyung.”


With that, the air is heavy between them, and Jungkook closes his eyes. He bonks his head against Seokjin’s chest, basking in the steady thump of his heart against his cheek. He’s bared everything now and isn’t sure what else to say.


Minutes pass, and Seokjin asks, “Did you…think I didn’t want to be seen with you, or something? Did you think I was embarrassed?”


Ashamed, Jungkook nods. Guilt consumes him as he admits it out loud, confirming his worst fears after hearing it come from Seokjin himself.  His lower lip wobbles and there's an unmistakable pressure building up in his nose and eyes– the telltale sign of his waterworks have arrived. Anxiously, he hides and draws his towel up to his face. 


“Oh,” Seokjin says breathlessly, remorse lacing his tone, the way he moves to touch him but doesn’t as if he’s afraid he’ll break . “Jungkookie, baby, no. Never, I could never be embarrassed of you, okay? Look at me,”


Jungkook lets out a weak sob at that, and lets Seokjin gently coax him out from behind the towel. He weeps as Seokjin cradles his face with delicate hands, calloused thumbs brushing the fat droplets of tears running down his cheeks. 


“Look at me.” He repeats, his own eyes glassy. “I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way, because loving you was the best thing that I have ever done, and I still do.”


Jungkook is speechless, thoughts muddled and overwhelmed. He knows one thing for sure, is that this is true, and this is real. Next thing he’s certain of, is that he really wants to kiss Seokjin. And he does just that. If Seokjin minds the saltiness from his tears, he doesn’t say anything, kissing him back slowly but surely. 


“I’m sorry, Gguk, for everything I did to hurt you,” Seokjin murmurs. 


“I understand–and I’m sorry too, for not trying to do it sooner.” Jungkook plants another kiss, on the corner of his lips, where the skin would bunch up so adorably, forming the laugh lines that he adores. “I don’t want to fight anymore…”


Seokjin watches Jungkook intently as he sniffles, and reaches around to join their hands together, resting them in his lap. “We’ll get through this,” He takes the lead and kisses his knuckles, smiling. “No more dealing with shit alone, for real this time.”


“Agreed,” Jungkook lets out a relieved laugh. “Promise?”




“I love you, hyung.” Jungkook says, heart full as he presses their foreheads together. 


“I love you too.”


In the quiet intimacy of the living room, illuminated by the cozy fireplace, Jungkook is elated when Seokjin closes the gap between them. 


It’s like they’re the only people in the world, with everyone asleep. Their exchange started off chaste, Jungkook’s hands tightening around Seokjin’s, before he took the initiative to slide them up Seokijn’s broad chest and resting on his shoulders. Only the crackling flames and the calm snowfall are a witness to them, as he kisses him again, and again, trying to suppress his grin whenever his teeth end up clashing with Seokjin’s mouth.


Jungkook peppers several kisses in succession on Seokjin’s face before making his way down his jaw, and besides his Adam’s apple that gulps when his puckered lips part to give a hint of wetness against heated skin. Seokjin shivers at his ministrations, a hand coming to thread through his hair. 


Eventually, after leaving a sizable hickey on Seokjin’s neck, the older male tilts his head upwards with a hand under his chin. Jungkook eyes the mark on his neck with a sheepish grin, prompting Seokjin to raise an eyebrow. “What did you–”


Jungkook giggles, cheeks aflame at what he’s created. He brushes his fingertips against his neck, eyeing him with feigned curiosity. “Wanna see?”


Seokjin doesn’t protest when Jungkook takes a photo–totally intentional, but Seokjin doesn’t have to know till later–and shows him the purpling bruise on the side of his neck. 


At first, Jungkook’s contentment begins to wane when Seokjin gapes at the photo. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so careless, getting too caught up in the moment. He should’ve asked first, for fucks sake–Mr. Kim surely knows they’re together, but Ms. Kim? Oh god, he hopes his concealer matches Seokjin’s skin tone because they’re so screwed. 


Then, Seokjin has a mischievous glint in his eye, which catches Jungkook off guard. “Oh, you’re done. Come here,”


Jungkook squeaks when Seokjin guides him into his lap, plush lips pressing against the sensitive pulse point of his neck. He wastes no time laving his tongue over his skin before suckling, gently pulling with his lips and eliciting noises that Jungkook didn’t know he could make. 


He jumps a little when Seokjin’s hands wander up his thighs, a gentle pressure that burns through the fabric of his pants and is enough to make him squirm. Seokjin stops. “Is this okay, bun?”


“Mmmhm,” He says, voice pinched. 


Seokjin pulls away, gazing up at him. His ears are bright red, eyes searching deep. “I need to hear you say it, Gguk. We don’t have to go any further, we can just cuddle or go upstairs and sleep.” He brushes a fallen lock of hair behind Jungkook’s ear. “Whatever you want.”


It’s a loaded question. Like, they’re really about to do this. Whatever “this” is, as far as Jungkook allows it to go because Seokjin, respectful and loving Seokjin, is leaving the decision up to him and genuinely means it. He could drag them into bed and sleep the night away. But for some reason, everything is imperfectly perfect the way it is, having Seokjin look up at him with the most adoring eyes and reverent hands, passion burning in his gut as the fireplace blanketing them in their own little bubble. It’s a loaded question, but the answer comes easily. “Yeah, this is okay. I want this.”


And with the way Seokjin’s eyes widen, Jungkook gets a boost of confidence, pressing his close-lipped smile to the center of his raised brows. “I want you, hyung.” He says against feverish skin. 


In a matter of minutes, Jungkook finds himself grinding against Seokjin’s erection, shaky hands cupping Seokjin’s face as they make out on the family couch. It’s doing something to his brain and frankly his painfully hard cock, the fact that he’s becoming undone in a space so open, filled with a plethora of cherished memories and counting. Or maybe, it’s the fact that his (practically) second family is sleeping upstairs, blissfully unaware of their activities. 


“Hyung,” Jungkook moans into his mouth when one of Seokjin’s hands make a sudden trip from his waist to underneath his shirt, curiously brushing the pad of his finger on a puffy nipple and smirking as it stiffens under the attention. 


Now, Jungkook isn’t a stranger to the throes of pleasure—he’s grown, he’s had many nights with his own hands and stained underwear but having touches come left and right from someone else is hitting him hard. “Oh, you like this, huh?”


And he doesn’t even deny it. He grips Seokjin’s shoulders tight as his other hand slides under his shirt, mimicking the same to the other nipple. He’s breathing heavily as Seokjin is rolling them into peaks, pinching them and then, “Can you do something for me, bun?”


Jungkook can barely speak, with how fucking aroused he is. He still can’t believe he’s even here right now, being groped by Seokjin himself, straight out of his wet dreams. No, this is better. Apparently his attention is enough, because Seokjin pushes his shirt up. Oh fuck. 


“Be good for hyung and hold this up, will you?” Seokjin requests with a saccharine smile on his face and he practically coos at him when he obeys. 


He’s so embarrassed, but even more turned on at being exposed to Seokjin’s eyes. Seokjin groans, subtly grinding his hips up into his ass as he reaches forward, hands cupping his chest as he tongues at a pebbled nipple, getting the dusted brown skin slick with his spit. Jungkook gasps, shamelessly circling his hips on Seokjin’s crotch. “Fuck, hyung. Fuck,” He whines when Seokjin’s teeth graze the sensitive skin, soft lips puckering and suckling.


Jungkook’s mind is absolutely reeling at this, watching with teary eyes how Seokjin peppers kisses across his chest, sucking a light mark at the curve of the muscle before repeating his ministrations to the other neglected nipple. He hisses when Seokjin pulls ever so slightly with his teeth, cock kicking in the confines of his pants. He’s so terribly hard and wet that he’s driven to shove his shirt to his mouth, holding the cloth up with his teeth as he lets his now-free hand travel down to his pants. He wants any kind of pressure, anything to touch him. 


He practically cries when Seokjin grabs his hand, glaring up with his mouth still on his teat. “No touching yourself until I say so.” His nerves are on fire, his breath hot against his nipple and suddenly he wants to grab his boyfriend by the hair and put his mouth back on him. 


Drool is staining his shirt, and he whines again when Seokjin does exactly that. He threads his hands through his hair and holds him there–it’s too much, all too much. Both of his nipples are being stimulated now, his hand teasing one while his tongue is on the other. “You taste so good, baby.” He says, muffled against his sweaty skin. And it’s so dirty and new to him that he just nods, whimpering. 


His painfully heightened sensitivity is making him shamelessly moan onto the crown of Seokjin’s head, pre-cum making his cock stick to his undergarments and is painfully aware of Seokjin’s own pressing between the cleft of his ass. And fuck, he even smells heavenly, everything is just Seokjin, Seokjin, Seokjin–


“Shit! Hyung, I’m gonna cum,” Jungkook gasps, hips faltering in rhythm. He grits his teeth, feeling irrationally frustrated when Seokjin pauses again. 


“Do you want to stop here, Gguk?” And he should be touched–he is, and he's so grateful that Seokjin’s checking in so frequently, but he also wants to throttle him because he’s so close. 


“I didn’t say that,” Jungkook retorts. “I said I was gonna cum, now hurry up and touch me or  something, please–”


Instantly, Seokjin hoists him up and helps him tug his pants down, past the curve of his ass and just enough to let his cock spring out. He nearly busts when Seokjin’s large hand wraps around him, and he keeps Seokjin’s head in a vice grip against his chest. “Hyung!” 


“You’re so cute, baby.” Seokjin kisses his collarbone, seeming to be just as out of breath as Jungkook, murmuring sweet encouragement into his skin. He pumps his cock, pre-cum making the slide heavenly as jerks faster and faster. “Wanna hear you, want you to cum for me. You’re doing so good,”


“Please,” He begs. Jungkook’s moans get higher, more desperate and his orgasm hits him when Seokjin digs his thumb into the slit of his cock. He stills on Seokjin’s lap, thighs trembling and balls tightening as he spurts thick white ropes all over himself, Seokjin’s hand, and his clothes. 


He’s panting, and fully seats himself after a minute, but regrets it when he hears Seokjin choke. “Fuck, I’m sorry–” Jungkook apologizes, and freezes at the sight. Seokjin is clearly still very hard underneath him, hand dripping with his release and a smeared mess on both of their clothes. But he’s far from upset–he’s gazing at him with the exact same look before they started. Filled with adoration and reverence, with a twinge of lust in his dark eyes.


“Why are you sorry?” Seokjin chuckles, shaking his head. “That was probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. And done,” He strokes his knee, giving a grin. 


“It’s all thanks to you,” Jungkook says–he’s suddenly shy, even though his softening dick is out and they’re both soiled. “We’re a mess, though. And you didn’t even get to um…”


“Oh, me?” Seokjin hums, as if it’s nothing. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to.”


“B-But what will you do?” Jungkook frowns. He knows the pain of simply not relieving himself, and he certainly doesn’t want to let Seokjin down now. 


“Ah, do I really need to…” Seokjin blushes, all his domineering confidence having left him. “You know…I don’t know, in the shower or something.”

Jungkook gapes. “No. Not happening, nope.” And with full intention this time, Jungkook lowers himself, watching as Seokjin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. His hands are clutching his shirt as he tries not to buck up into Jungkook. The younger grins at this and begins to circle his hips.


“You better stop, Gguk,” Seokjin wheezes, choking on a groan at a firm grind of Jungkook’s ass on his crotch. “You have to rest,”


“I’m fine, hyung. What I want to do is take care of you, now.” Jungkook admits, and he’s speaking from the heart—being able to give his hyung everything he deserves is all he has ever wanted, and he’s always desired to be the person who could do that. “We can…go all the way, if you want.”


“I don’t want to hurt you or push you–”


“You’re not.” Jungkook smiles, giving him a chaste kiss. “Let’s play it by ear, okay? I trust you.”

If being out in the open, dry humping in the family room was exciting for Jungkook, then sucking Seokjin’s dick in his bedroom while his parents’ rooms are at the end of the hall is absolutely thrilling. In the dim candlelight, Seokjin’s face is strained, mouth wide open and eyes shut in absolute bliss. Jungkook’s never given a blowjob before, but as he mouths at the side of his shaft and puckers his wet lips at his head, the reaction Seokjin has is telling him he’s doing a decent job. 


“Fuck, look at you,” Seokjin hiss-whispers. He places an encouraging hand on his head, lightly tugging at his hair. 


They have to be a lot more quiet now, and Jungkook’s trying not to touch his half-chub that hangs between his legs. The room is pin-drop silent save for Seokjin’s groans, pants, and the lewd wet noises that Jungkook makes as he takes his dick into his mouth. He tries to go down as far as he can, eyes tearing up as he gags around the thick girth. With what he can’t take, he has a fist closed over it. 


After bobbing his head for a few moments, sucking his cheeks in, Jungkook pulls off with a loud exhale and catches his breath, gently slapping Seokjin’s cock against his cheek, his lips, before opening his mouth and doing it against his tongue. Seokjin curses, equal parts impressed and bewildered. “Jesus, where’d you learn how to do that,


Jungkook preens, and repeats the motion, biting his lip when Seokjin tightens his hold on his hair. “C’mon, hyung. I’ve watched porn before. Watching and learning, you know?”


Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Ugh, don’t say it like that,”


“It’s true,” Jungkook slowly jerks Seokjin off, resting a head against his thigh and admiring his size, how it rises from a small tuft of coarse hairs that have a ghost of a trail up to his navel, abdomen flexing with every downstroke. 


“Yeah, but I don’t want to imagine you just–” Seokjin stops, grumbling when Jungkook shoots him a knowing look. “Okay, well–ah, nevermind. I’m gonna go soft if we keep talking like this,”


Jungkook giggles. “Are you sure? Seems like you’re getting excited just thinking about me.” He isn’t sure why he’s so cocky now. Perhaps he’s high on the endorphins from cumming downstairs and now being able to please his hyung, finally


When Seokjin is silent, pouting at him with an unamused look, Jungkook is beaming in return. He lets go, and instead stands up. He’s discarded his pants on the floor from when they stumbled upstairs. Feeling emboldened, he tugs his shirt off, and bares himself to Seokjin. He wants to shy away when Seokjin’s eyes rake down his naked body, lingering on his mildly swollen nipples, to near-fully hardened cock. “I thought about you too, hyung.”




Jungkook steps forward, between Seokjin’s open legs at the edge of the bed, and guides Seokjin’s hands to his waist. “I’ve dreamt about you, and sometimes, I’d dream about this.”


“...” Seokjin watches him with a fierce intensity–it still seems like he’s holding back, hands timidly holding his hips. Jungkook continues, “You’d lay me down, and kiss me like you did downstairs. I would let you because I want this,”


“Want what, Jungkook? What is it that you want,” Seokjin breathes. He brushes his hipbone with a comforting thumb, but it seems like he’s trying to calm himself down the most. “I need to hear it.”


“I want you.” Jungkook confesses. “And I want you to fuck me.”


He barely has time to be proud of himself for getting through that without fainting or something.  He’s kind of glad Seokjin moves so swiftly to push him onto his back because goddamn his knees are about to give out. He’s so high strung, and he’s ready. 


Seokjin crawls over him, predatory and careful all at once, leaving kisses up his body before smashing their lips together, muffling any noises coming from Jungkook. He fondles him again, hands stroking anywhere they can touch now that he’s completely naked–up his abs, his nipples, the smooth skin of his arms and his sturdy thighs that open themselves to Seokijn. 


“Lube,” Seokjin pants, pulling away from Jungkook. “I gotta get some lube, a-and a condom. Hold on,”


Jungkook watches as Seokjin scrambles over to the bedside table. He bites the inside of his cheek, feeling a bit childish. He knows Seokjin is a man with needs, but doesn’t want to think about his hyung doing this with anyone else. He won’t let his mind wander there–right now, he’s his one and only. 


And Seokjin notices this pensive look on his face, smiling sadly. “I haven’t done this for a while, Gguk. Trust me. Plus,” He winks. “Condoms help make fingering sanitary; hands are dirty, even if you wash 'em, you know.”


Jungkook’s eyes widen, face reddening at the thought of his hyung doing the exact same thing as him–curled up under the sheets, fingers shallowly thrusting into his hole as he tries to reach his climax. Oh fuck. They are so talking about this after. 


“That’s hot,” He blurts out. They both burst out laughing, before shushing each other, being mindful of their surroundings. “But…hhhh–hyung,” Jungkook’s laugh dissipates into a shaky whine when Seokjin’s slicked up, condom-covered finger prods at his rim. By reflex, he shuts his thighs. 


“Shhh, honey.” Seokjin kisses his knee, gently opening his legs up again and settling in between them. “Relax, okay?”


“O-Okay, b-but hyung,” Jungkook gasps, the cold feeling of more lube dripping down where his hole and Seokjin’s finger are connected. He bites his lip when the finger pushes in, working in shallowly until the resistance has lessened. “Hyung,” He tries again when he’s worked up a rhythm.


Seokjin pulls out after covering two fingers and presses them back in, that delicious pressure making his cock jerk against his stomach. “Yes, baby?”


“Fuck, I forgot!” He nearly yells, feeling Seokjin scissor his fingers inside and plunge deeper into his hole. The edges of his rim tingle with every slide and his cock is practically oozing pre-cum because of the stimulation. 


Seokjin laughs, leaning up to kiss his sweaty temple before fumbling and working a third finger in. Jungkook lets out a wanton moan, debauched and loud as hell, and Seokjin clamps a hand over his mouth, driving his fingers in and resisting the way Jungkook’s hips jump. The stretch is divine, and he continues groaning behind Seokjin’s hand. “You have to be quiet, honey. My parents are literally down the hallway.”


“‘S your fault that it feels so good,” Jungkook cries out without much thought, whimpering when Seokjin picks up the pace. 


“Yeah, okay.” Seokjin snickers. “It’s my fault my poor baby can’t take care of himself, needs hyung to do it for him, right?”


“Mmm stop teasing me,” 


There he goes again, with the dirty talk–I might cum right now, if he keeps this shit up. And he nearly does when Seokjin hooks his fingers and brushes against his prostate. He yelps, eyes tearing up when Seokjin mercilessly presses on it, watching how he writhes and clenches around the digits. He doesn’t even bother trying to be quiet, Seokjin’s hand a soft pressure over his mouth as he moans into his palm. His cock is angry and red, and he can’t fucking close his legs–


And then Seokjin pulls away. Jungkook protests, wanting to feel full again–god, imagining himself empty right now seems like the saddest thing in the world, and he’s about to cry out of sheer anticipation when Seokjin strokes his own cock. He musters something coherent when he sees Seokjin reach for the condom. “Wait, don’t—”


“Don’t what, honey?” Seokjin says. Jungkook’s brain short circuits again because that’s another thing they have to talk about—honey’s a new name, and frankly he loves it. He doesn’t know what possessed Seokjin to start calling him that, but it’s amazing. 


“I…don’t. Um, can we not use the condom tonight?” Jungkook asks and is suddenly hesitant. “I know um. You said for hygiene but I’m clean…and I want to feel you.” His cheeks are aflame, and he knows they’re warm to the touch. “I w-want you to cum inside…” His voice trails off, becoming meek. 


“I’m clean too. Fuck," Seokjin groans. "Fucking hell, Gguk.” He moves, tossing the foil packet away before lining his cockhead to the furl of his rim. His pucker relaxes, allowing Seokjin’s head to sink in completely and they both shudder at the sensation. Jungkook opens his legs more, watching as Seokjin guides his cock in slowly. The stretch is far more than three fingers, and the pressure that he feels inside is an indescribable burning sensation but so, so good. He can’t believe this is really happening, but it is, because he can feel everything


“You’re–you’re big,” Jungkook says with a bated breath. 


“And you’re taking hyung so well, baby.” Seokjin sounds like he’s pained, but he still does his best in comforting Jungkook, hands coming to hold his thighs that are bracketing him in. “You’re so warm and tight, you feel so good,”


“Yeah?” He smiles. 


“Yeah.” Seokjin leans forward, kissing his forehead, and then his lips. With that movement, he sheaths himself fully inside his ass, and Jungkook keens. “Let hyung take care of you.”


He starts off slow and fucking in deep with every thrust. Jungkook is well aware that his mouth is wide open, eyes shut as he breathes heavily, basking in the way Seokjin’s dick drags against his walls. And then he dares glance up at Seokjin, who’s watching him with his undivided attention, brows furrowed in concentration, yet his eyes are looking at him like he’s special. As if he’s hung up by the stars and the moon and everything in between. Jungkook whimpers when he slides in particularly deep, brushing against his sweet spot, gripping the sheets beside him. 


“Faster, please,” Jungkook exhales, and shuts his eyes again when Seokjin obliges, picking up the pace. Seokjin’s hips are slapping against his ass, the claps echoing in the safety of the bedroom along with the younger’s feeble ah, ah, ahs in a euphoric symphony only they can hear. Jungkook opens his eyes again and gasps, seeing Seokjin cage his head between his hands as he hovers over him. He wraps his legs around Seokjin’s lower body and that spurs him on, moving to wrap his arms around Jungkook’s body as the latter does the same around his wide, wide shoulders. They embrace impossibly close, Jungkook folding in a bit more and taking in all of Seokjin’s cock.


The bed shakes with every thrust. Seokjin’s fucking him fast and hard, panting beside his ear as he punches high pitched moans and cries out of Jungkook. Variations of Seokjin’s name fall from his open lips, as he shamelessly cries into Seokjin’s ear, holding him close. “Fuck,” Seokjin swears for the umpteenth time that night, rhythm beginning to falter as he moves a bit more frantically, trying to chase his release. “I’m close, baby.”


“Me–” Jungkook yelps when he bumps his prostate in his pattern-less thrusts. “–too! Shit, hyung, me too, I’m gonna–”


Seokjin, despite being delirious with pleasure, is attentive as ever and abuses his prostate, fucking him with reckless abandon. Jungkook is trying to muffle his sobs into Seokjin’s neck, and bites down his scream into his skin when Seokjin suddenly jerks his neglected cock once, then twice before he squirts messily onto both of their bodies. He doesn’t know when he started crying, but he is, feeling the wetness dribble down his cheeks, spreading onto Seokjin’s shoulder as he rubs his face in it. The coil in his belly from all the build-up snaps, and his ass tightens around Seokjin’s dick, causing the latter to moan and kick his hips into his extra hard.


 “Hyung!” He wails into his neck, overstimulation quickly ebbing into the aftershocks of his orgasm when Seokjin doesn’t slow down. “Fuck,”


“I love you,” Seokjin blurts out, pulling back and seeing Jungkook’s fucked-out expression. He grits his teeth and thrusts a few more times, demeanor crumbling. “I love you, Jungkook.” He repeats, keeling over as he presses in balls-deep before cumming inside Jungkook’s wet warmth, filling him up. He thrusts a couple more, some of the white release dribbling out from the sides of his tender hole, and then he sinks into his warm body completely.


Jungkook is still crying, overcome with sensations in all aspects. He pulls Seokjin to him, clinging on and moaning when Seokjin’s cock pulses inside with each spurt of cum. He’s on cloud nine as he holds the love of his life against his chest. He tastes him with every tear-stained kiss against his slick temple, enjoying the comforting sensation of his cock inside him. They’re both fully spent and catching their breaths, Seokjin panting against his jaw as he holds him back just as tight. 


“I love you too,” Jungkook speaks to the air of their post-coital bliss, overwhelmed with it all. “I love you too.”


Eventually, Seokjin pulls out much to Jungkook’s dismay. Their reactions to the cum dribbling out of his hole is absolutely hilarious, Seokjin appearing to be more humiliated than Jungkook, who simply reached down and scooped some of his release in sheer awe.  If he hadn’t cum twice that night, he might have been turned on from the sight alone. 


“Gross,” Seokjin comments, and comically jumps when Jungkook flicks the spunk at him. 


“This is yours, what do you mean gross?” He laughs. 


After they clean up in silence, they end up facing each other in bed, the most vulnerable they have ever been with each other–literally, and figuratively. 


“So…” Jungkook trails his fingers up Seokjin’s body before cupping his face. 


Honestly, he’s still trying to make sure he isn’t dreaming, even though his sore ass and achy nipples are a testament to say otherwise. He didn’t expect to get fucked within an inch of his life when he started his trek to the village, yet here he lay, satiated and not daring to complain at all. Funny how he would conjure the worst possible outcomes with this trip, only to end up like this.


“How are you feeling?” Seokjin asks. His eyes are closed, but Jungkook knows he’s listening.


“Feeling a lot of things, to be honest.” Jungkook muses. “Good things though. I promise.” For humorous measures, he adds, “You fucked me too good, though. Can’t believe we didn’t do that sooner.”


Seokjin takes his hand, moving it from his cheek to his lips and dropping feather-light kisses. “Glad to hear I was of great service. You should sleep now.”


“Very great,” Jungkook plays along. “And as tired as I am…I don’t want to. Now d’you wanna talk about how you use the condoms and lube for yourself–”


Sleep, honey.




“...I’ll tell you tomorrow, brat.”

It’s Seokjin who wakes up first that next morning. The house is still silent, and he’s feeling a bit hot. Having an entire Jeon Jungkook who is naked and equally sweaty pressed against him doesn’t help, but he also doesn’t have the heart to wake him up just yet. 


Seokjin pulls back just a bit in his arms–Jungkook asleep is so serene. His body art is beautiful, and he traces a finger on the ink that swirls up to his shoulder. So do his piercings, glinting in the morning sun that seeps through his curtains. He brushes his messy strands of hair back, smiling at the way he unconsciously furrows his brows in his sleep, dry lips pouting and then relaxing. 


His beloved boyfriend must have been so tired, having to put up with his terrible insecurities and coming all the way to him in a snowstorm because of it.


And you did quite a number on him, you horndog, he thinks with a blush when he sees the litter of hickeys on Jungkook’s neck, collarbone, and chest. He huffs with amusement, cupping Jungkook’s soft cheek and thumbing at the skin under his eyes, before moving and combing through his unruly bedhead with care.


He basks in the quiet. When Jungkook wakes up he’s going to be a whirlwind, the enigma he is, and they’re going to face everyone together. And when Seokjin dwells on it, that miniscule bit of anxiety remains. Even though they’ve discussed it and have crossed boundaries together while building new ones, he’s a bit afraid. Afraid to lose what he has, to lose Jungkook, afraid that it’s too good to be true. That he’s holding Jungkook back, and that he deserves more than him–because he does. He deserves the world, and he wants to be the one to give it to him. Seokjin doesn’t know if he’ll ever get why Jungkook chose him, before he even had the chance to look back at the younger in that way. He’s worried that the blooming feelings for the boy in front of him will be left unattended and will wilt, heartbroken when he’s no longer in arms’ reach. 


His thoughts momentarily shut themselves up when those shining doe eyes crack open. Jungkook blinks sleepily, eyelids puffy and having hints of crust on the edges. To Seokjin, Jungkook’s gorgeous, rumpled with sleep but gazing at him with that same ardor. When he whispers good morning, hyung, and brushes a poorly aimed kiss to his own smiling lips, Seokjin’s heart swells. It should scare him how easily those insecurities from seconds ago are gone, all because of this one person, yet it doesn’t. Maybe, because that’s what love is. 


While he doesn’t fully understand yet, he knows he loves Jungkook, and Jungkook loves him, when he announces it in the stale morning air. There’s a reason that he hopes to discover and accept, as he continues letting himself reciprocate it.


“You’re thinking again.” Jungkook grumbles, bonking their heads together.


Before, he’d probably deny it. Shut any sort of discussion down because he’s the hyung who takes care of everything. He takes a breath instead, and answers, “Yeah, I am.” He lets Jungkook pepper more poorly aimed kisses in his half-asleep stupor, and chortles at the action. “Sorry,” He supplies. 


“You’re a loud thinker.” Jungkook says, as if he’s talking about the weather. 


“Mmhm,” Seokjin grins as Jungkook attempts to dote on him, trying to blink himself awake. “Did it wake you?” He jokes. 


“It did,” Jungkook pouts. “Worry later. Sleep.”


Seokjin takes a peek at the clock, and it reads 8am. Too damn early. “Okay, baby, I’ll try.” He concedes, letting Jungkook embrace him and cushion his cheek against the top of his head. 


“Mmnnh don’t try. Will.” He murmurs to his hair. “‘M not gonna go anywhere hyungie. No more doin’...alone.”


He gets the message, and he pats his back. “Alright, alright. I know.”


A beat of silence. “I love you, Jungkook.”


Seokjin feels him smile and nuzzle into his hair. “I love you, too. Love you lots.”


He closes his eyes, and his thoughts calm down to a mellow buzz as sleep overtakes him. 


They’re far from perfect, but I wouldn’t change this for the world, Seokjin thinks contentedly, as he succumbs to the warmth of Jungkook’s arms.