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Rehab after “Survival”

“Can’t do any more, Starsky!”

“Yes, you can, ya big lug. You got those oversized hooves to keep you steady. With those you cover more ground with fewer steps! So, quit your whinin’.”

“I am not whinin’, you… you… tyrant!”

“Hey, Hutch, don’t insult me. I’m just trying to motivate ya.”

“I don’t need motivation; I need less pain and more rest.”

“So, you don’t want your surprise?”

“Oh, hell, Starsk. I’m exhausted and hurting. I’m close enough to qualify for my reward. Now get me that wheelchair, huh?”

“Nope. The agreement was you get to the end of these bars and I’ll hand over your treat.”

“So help me, Starsk…”

“Hey, you just took another step, Hutch!”

“Yeah, and one more step and I’ll be close enough to clock you!”

“Aw, buddy, you wouldn’t do that! … Wouldja?”

“Considering it.”

“So, how ‘bout you take one more big step? Then you’ll be close enough. … That’s my boy!”

“Beemans and clove gum! This is… is… great! Thanks, pal. Here – have a stick or two.”

Rehab during “Sweet Revenge”

“Hutch, I can’t make it. My legs are just too… noodelly.”

“What the hell is ‘noodelly’?”

“You know, that stuff you eat with tomato sauce. My legs feel like mushy spaghetti. The kind where ya don’t need teeth to eat it. My shoulder really hurts, too.”

“You should’ve used your special crutch instead of the bars.”

“Don’ like that thing. Reminds me of those kids in my old neighborhood who had polio.”

“But you don’t have polio, numbskull.”

“I know that, Blondie! It’s just… kinduv a bad memory, ya know?”

“Yeah, I hear ya. One of my friends in grade school had it.”

“‘Sides, that contraption makes me feel like The Sixteen Bucks Man. Like I’m not worthy of six million smackeroonies.”

“Starsk, you’re no Steve Austin. You pretty much healed yourself with help from some fancy sewing. Now, you can do this, buddy. Your M&Ms are almost in reach… One more step… You did it!”

“Gimme that damn bag, Hutch, before I pass out!”

“Here, sit down. I’ll open the bag for you.”

“Mmmmm… so good. You’re the best. Wanna share?”

the end
January 2022