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Chapter Text

 Patroclus was walking to class, worrying about his science project that was due in a week. His teacher- who, by the way, was totally an ass- had assigned him the worst partner ever. There was no way he could ever get all the work done that he needed to.

 His partner's name was Achilles, and god was he fucking annoying. Every day during class Achilles would do nothing but sit there and stare at Patroclus... Which was more than a little creepy. But it's not like Patroclus minded. Patroclus didn't mind at all- Achilles was always staring at him. He was weird like that.

  Patroclus had known him since forever.

In first grade, Patroclus had gotten bullied at lunch (he didn't even know why at the time, but later he had learned that the boys thought he was a teacher's pet), and Achilles had jumped to his rescue.

 Patroclus got jealous sometimes of his friend. (Friend? Is that the word? They seemed to be far more complicated than that.) Everyone loved Achilles as soon as they met him, and they just ignored Patroclus, which was fine with him, but still. He thought that the boys that followed Achilles around were ridiculous, each one pathetically hoping that Achilles would give them his attention.

 Each summer, Achilles was sent away to this amazing summer camp, and his parents always offered to let him bring along a friend. It was June now, so all of Achilles' 'friends' were kissing his ass, hoping he'd bring them. Achilles didn't seem to notice any of them, though, which weird.

 Patroclus was so busy thinking, he walked right into Achilles, and the books he was holding spilled everywhere.

 "Sorry!" he said automatically, bending down to pick up his books.

 Achilles laughed. "No, it's my fault. I was too busy thinking about, um something." He broke off, and when Patroclus looked up he saw a strange look on his face.

 "Are you okay?” Patroclus asked.

 Achilles jumped, giving him a startled look. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I was just-”

 “Thinking.” Patroclus said, standing up, books in his arms. “Yeah. You said that already.”

 Achilles’ eyebrows furrowed. “I- I did. Yes.” He couched, motioning towards their classroom door. “You going in?”

 Patroclus sighed. There was definitely something wrong with Achilles, even if he didn't want to admit it.

“Fine.” he said, opening the door and walking in without looking back at Achilles.

Chapter Text

"Patroclus!" Achilles whispered as they sat down at their desks. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." Patroclus muttered stubbornly. There was no way he was going to tell Achilles he was upset over something that didn't even matter.

"I don't think it's nothing." Achilles said softly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Patroclus asked quickly.

"It means you're angry at me for some reason. What did I do this time?" Achilles asked. He didn't think he did anything to deserve Patroclus being this mad at him...did he?

"Why would I be angry? I'm not angry. I'm perfectly fine." Patroclus said, trying not to speak through his teeth.

Achilles opened his mouth to respond, but then Mr. Agamemnon yelled at them to be quiet, so Achilles just shrugged and started working on his homework for math.

Patroclus grabbed it from him.

"Hey! I was working on that!" Achilles said angrily.

"We have a project to work on. Maybe if you did it last night you wouldn't have to do it now." Patroclus explained, putting the homework back in Achilles' bag.

"Yeah, I know. Can't you just do it yourself? You're good at biology, right?" Achilles asked.

"Well, yeah, but we're a team, Achilles. We work on it together." Patroclus said calmly. He didn't understand why Achilles always made him do all the work, and he was getting sick of it. Achilles had a brain, didn't he?

"Yeah, we are a team, but still. I'm not good at biology, and you are. Why can't you just do it?" Achilles protested.

"Um, no. You're doing it too." Patroclus' voice was getting louder as he got more upset. Normally he wouldn't make a fuss about Achilles being, well, Achilles, but he was also acting differently lately. Achilles wouldn't tell him what was wrong when he asked, so why should Patroclus do their work for him?

"Look-" Achilles started.

"No. I won't look, Achilles, okay? I'm not going to do something for you just because you ask me to. Grow up and do it yourself." Patroclus' voice rang across the classroom now, and people were staring at them.

Mr. Agamemnon was walking towards them now, and he did not look happy with them.

When he reached their desk he glanced back at the other students staring at them, and they spun around in their seats and pretended to work quietly, so they could hear what he said.

"I think," Mr. Agamemnon said, "that you two need to go to the office. Now. Take your things- I don't think you'll be coming back. I'll call them and tell them you're coming"

"But, Mr. Agamemnon-" Achilles arugued, then broke off when Patroclus kicked his leg under the desk.

"Both of you. Leave now." Mr. Agamemnon said, slowly and clearly. "I don't want to see you again today."

Achilles stood up suddenly, grabbing his bag. "Come on, Patroclus. I think we're done here."

 "Of course we are." Patroclus said, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he got up and walked towards the door.

"Hey hey hey wait for me!" Achilles said, jogging over to him as Patroclus waited by the door.

"Now will you tell me what's wrong?" Achilles asked.

"Achilles! There's nothing wrong, okay? Now stop it." Patroclus opened the door and held it, motioning for Achilles to go through first.

Achilles' lips thinned as he brushed past him into the hallway.

Chapter Text

"Look, Patroclus, you're being ridiculous. You just got us kicked out of class and sent to the office. You know my father will get mad- I need to have a clean record if I'm going to get a college scholarship." Achilles said as they walked down the stairs to the office.

Patroclus practically ran down the stairs and waited for Achilles at the bottom. "Well, it's not my fault you weren't working on the project." he said stubbornly.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT OKAY? YOU JUST- YOU JUST WANT TO BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING!" Achilles yelled, finally snapping. He jumped down five steps and landed right in front of Patroclus.

"EVERYTHING? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS ACHILLES IT'S JUST-" Patroclus let out a frustrated groan. "Stop it. Let's just go to the office." he said, trying not to yell again. He walked down the hallway and reached out his hand to open the office door.

Achilles ran down the hall after him and pushed himself between Patroclus and the door. "No. We are talking about this."

"No, we are not." Patroclus said coldy. "We are going into the office right now. There is nothing to talk about."

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? I know something's wrong." Achilles insisted.

"There is nothing to talk about." Patroclus repeated.

 "Yeah, no shit. You already said that!" Achilles said.

"Yeah. Because it's true." Patroclus said.

Achilles sighed loudly and ran his hands through his pale blonde hair. "Look, I just- I just was thinking that maybe-"

Suddenly the door started to open, and they both jumped back from it.

The school receptionist was standing in the doorway, propping it open with her arm. "Um," she said, "are you two coming in, or...?"

Achilles gave her his best smile. "Yes, ma'am. We just need to finish a conversation first." he said.

The receptionist blushed. "Yes. You two- you two just- um, finish up." she unconsciously reached up to fix her hair, smiled nervously, and went back into the office, closing the door.

 Patroclus frowned. People we always smitten with Achilles; he was used to it by now. But the school receptionist blushing because of a sixteen year old kid? He didn't like that.

 "No, we are done talking." Patroclus decided.

"But we weren't!" Achilles said despairingly.

"Um, yes, we were. Are. Are done talking. We are done talking." Patroclus stuttered.

"But-" Achilles said.

"End of conversation." Patroclus said.

"Fine." Achilles snapped, swinging open the office door. "I bet the receptionist would never be mad at me for no reason." he said frostily, stepping in and slamming the door behind him.

Chapter Text

As they entered the office, the man behind the desk looked up.

"Mr. Chiron!" Achilles exclaimed.

Mr. Chiron was an advisor to Achilles' dad- he worked at the school partially to keep an eye on Achilles. (Achilles' father took Achilles' eduction very seriously; he wanted Achilles to get an athletic scholarship to help his chance of being in the Olympics)

"Achilles. Patroclus. What- why are you here?" Chiron asked carefully, studying them with his tired eyes.

"Well," Achilles said, "Patroclus here got really mad at me because apparently I can't do homework in class? And then I was like, why can't you just do all the work? Then he got really mad at me and we got kicked out by Mr. Armageddon."

"Mr. Agamemnon." Patroclus corrected, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, thank you, Patroclus." Chiron said. "Why don't we take this into my office?" He gestured to a dark room in the corner of the office.

Achilles shrugged and walked over to it, and Patroclus followed.

Chiron flipped on the light, and when Patroclus and Achilles were inside he stepped in and shut the door behind him.

There was only a table and a lamp in the room, with four bean bags to sit on.

Achilles and Patroclus each flopped down onto a bean bag.

"Now, what's going on between you two?" he asked.

"Achilles is being over dramatic, as usual." Patroclus said. "Nothing's wrong."

"Patroclus, please. I know-" Achilles' voice cracked. "I know you, okay? Please just tell me."

Patroclus glanced at Chiron, who was in the corner of the room watching them.

"I'm going to leave," Chiron said, standing up. "I will be back in half an hour."

 "No!" Patroclus yelped.

Achilles looked at him and frowned.

"I mean, um, why?" Patroclus said nervously.

Chiron tried to to smile. "I think you two just need some time alone, that's all." He opened the door and stepped through it, then looked back. "Just, uh, don't kill each other please. That'd be a lot of paperwork." He shut the door, and Achilles and Patroclus stared at each other.


Chapter Text

"Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Patroclus asked.

Achilles' green eyes widened. "Um, I'm fine? Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?"

Patroclus shook his head and then ruffled his brown hair with his left hand, trying to calm down.

"I haven't done anything wrong?" Achilles said, and Patroclus wasn't sure if that was a statement or a question.

Patroclus sighed. "It's just...well, okay. Maybe I have been a little, um, jealous," he said, "of everyone."

Achilles stood up, pacing the room.

Patroclus continued. "It's just. Everyone is so obsessed with you and they all practically worship you and you don't even care, okay? You just take it for granted that people will like you as soon as they meet you. And maybe I don't like that. Maybe I don't like that no one has ever felt like that about me. Maybe I don't like that you have two famous parents and a huge house and a dog and a girlfriend and my parents died when I was three and I have nothing. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm just sick of you not knowing just how much you have."

Achilles took a deep breath. He walked over to Patroclus and pulled him to his feet gently. "I do know what I have to lose. And I don't care about any of it. Parents..." he faltered, looking down at their joined hands. "Parents aren't all they're cracked up to be."

Patroclus let go of Achilles' hands, stepping back. "No, they're not," he said. "You would know that if you didn't have any."

"Patroclus, you don't understand them. They... I just have to do what they tell me to do, okay?" Achilles asked, not looking at Patroclus.

"Why?" Patroclus asked.

"I can't tell you. I just have to. And, I do care about some things, you know." Achilles said.

"Yeah? Like what?" Patroclus asked.

Achilles looked up, meeting Patroclus' gaze. He leaned against the wall and swallowed visibly. "You," he said.

Patroclus laughed harshly, walking towards Achilles and stopping in front of him.

They were extremely close, Patroclus thought vaguely.

Achilles cared, he thought, staring down at his shoes.

"Patroclus." Achilles said softly.

 "What?" Patroclus looked up.

Achilles looked sad, so sad Patroclus was surprised he was keeping it all in.

"I'm sorry." Achilles said, reaching up and putting his hands in Patroclus' hair. He pulled him closer until they were almost touching foreheads.

 I should move, Patroclus thought, and then, and then Achilles was kissing him and he should move but he couldn't move he couldn't think and Achilles was pulling back he was apologizing and he was leaving and he was going through the door.

And he was gone.

 Patroclus pressed his forehead against the wall, sinking to the floor.

 He started crying.

Chapter Text

Mr. Chiron found Patroclus there ten minutes later, laying on the floor shaking, and sent him home.

Patroclus was in his room, curled up in his bed under a pile of blankets.

He didn't understand.

Achilles had a girlfriend. Patroclus didn't understand why Achilles had kissed him if he was dating someone else.

Achilles and his girlfriend Deidameia had been dating since they were twelve- four years now. Achilles never really talked about her with Patroclus. It was just a fact; Patroclus had never seen them on a date or anything. Everyone knew that Achilles Pelides was dating Deidameia Scyros.

They were the media's favorite couple, and it was thought that Achilles would marry her after he won the Olympics.

But then why did Achilles kiss him?

Patroclus didn't know what to do. What did he do? Should he tell Deidameia? No- they met once and they were not exactly on speaking terms.

Patroclus rolled over and squinted at his alarm clock.

It was 2 AM- gosh, did he really sleep that long?

He sat up and got dressed quickly, grabbing his house keys and walking to Achilles' house.


Patroclus hesitated before knocking on the door.

 After all, it was 2 AM. Maybe he was asleep- that's what people do at 2 AM. He knocked again, then turned away. He was probably asleep. He'd been crazy coming to his house at 2 am.

The door opened, and he was pulled inside.

Chapter Text

Patroclus was dragged into Achilles' room, and Achilles flipped the light on.

 "What are you doing?" Achilles asked. "Do you know how early it is?"

 Patroclus didn't answer. He was too busy staring- Achilles was wearing only underwear.

 "Boxers," Patroclus muttered.

 Achilles blushed. "I, um. Yeah," he said. "It's not like I expected company."

 "Yeah. I- it's your room." Patroclus was trying to keep his eyes on Achilles' face. He was failing. Epically.

 "Patroclus, I don't know why you came here." Achilles said. "Go back to bed."

 "No! I want to talk to you." Patroclus said.

Achilles raised an eyebrow. "At 2 AM?"

 "Oh." Patroclus said. He hadn't really thought about that.

"Oh?" Achilles asked, then laughed. "You're crazy, Patroclus, do you know that?"

 Patroclus felt a wave of anger wash over him. He walked up to Achilles and pushed him onto the floor.

 He immediately felt horrible. It was bad to hurt people. He knelt down and helped Achilles up.

Achilles looked shocked. "Patroclus! I- I didn't think you had that in you." he exclaimed.

 "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened." Patroclus said.

"Well, that's okay. I guess I kinda deserve it." Achilles admitted.

Patroclus' heart almost stopped. "Why?"

Achilles took a deep breath. "Because I've been so selfish. I should never have kissed you."

Patroclus stepped back, hurt. "Then why- why did- selfish?" he stuttered, trying not to cry.

"Yeah. I- we could never work, Patroclus. Even though..." Achilles trailed off.

"Even though?" Patroclus asked desperately.

 Achilles laughed.  "I love you," he said. "I love you but...I'm dating Deidameia. I'm going to marry her. It doesn't matter that I love you."

 Patroclus closed his eyes, trying not to cry.

"Hey," Achilles said, moving towards Patroclus. "Please don't cry. I didn't want- please."

Patroclus shook his head. "Why are you telling me this if you don't want me to cry? You love me but it doesn't matter? I don't understand."

"Please just leave." Achilles begged. "Go back to sleep."

"I-no!" Patroclus said angrily.

Achilles walked over to Patroclus and pushed him against the bedroom door, his hands in Patroclus' hair.

Patroclus tried not to hyperventilate.

Achilles was so close.

Achilles' eyes flicked down to Patroclus' lips and then flicked back up to his eyes. "This conversation never happened, okay?" he said slowly.

Patroclus made a noise that sounded like a cat who just got their tail stepped on.

"And," Achilles said, leaning closer, "this never happened either."

Achilles kissed him, pushing him against the bedroom door so hard Patroclus was worried it would break.

Then he remembered; Achilles was only in boxers.

Patroclus made a noise as he realized what he was doing. This is incredibly stupid, he thought, but that didn't stop him from grabbing Achilles' waist and pulling him closer.

Achilles moaned, and then broke away. He was panting, and he wouldn't meet Patroclus' eyes.

"Goodnight," he said, opening the door and pushing Patroclus outside into the hallway.

Chapter Text

The next morning during gym Patroclus tried to talk to Achilles again.

 They were running laps around the track field- Patroclus was starting to get dizzy from going in circles- and Patroclus couldn't catch to Achilles. He was too darn fast.

He couldn't even see where Achilles was. Was he on the other side of the field? He tried to turn around and look behind him, but he forgot to stop running, and he fell.

"OW!" he yelped. He had fallen on his knees, and they were completely torn open. He tried to breathe normally, but he couldn't control his panting.

He didn't even to to get up. He just laid there on the ground, hoping no one would run him over as he bled to death. God, why am I so fucking clumsy?

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" someone asked, kneeling next to him.

Patroclus turned his head to the side and looked.

It was Deidameia.

Patroclus closed his eyes and prayed that Achilles didn't tell her anything.

"I'm lying on the ground and my legs look like they've been attacked by a rabid squirrel, do I look okay?" Patroclus snapped, opening his eyes.

Deidameia blinked a few times, and then shook her head. "That's not funny. I-" she broke off as Achilles ran over to them and knelt on Patroclus' other side.

"What happened?" Achilles asked, looking extremely concerned. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Deidameia nodded, then realized neither of them were looking at her. "Yeah- I'll go get the teacher and she can call the ambulance," she said, standing up and running off.

Achilles looked like he didn't know what to do. He decided on rubbing Patroclus' hand, trying to calm either himself or Patroclus down, Patroclus wasn't sure which.

They didn't talk, and when the ambulance came Achilles rode in it with Patroclus.

Chapter Text

When they got to the E.R, Patroclus was wheeled away and Achilles was left in the waiting room. 

He had no idea what he was doing.

He knew what he was doing to Patroclus. He knew, but he didn't know what else to do.

He loved Patroclus- ever since he'd met him in first grade.


But his father had told him that it was his job, when he got older, to find a pretty girl with a good reputation, date her for a few years, and then marry her.

Achilles' father had his whole life planned out for him. He couldn't tell his father he was wrong, especially when his father needed him to follow the plan.


And Achilles didn't want to make his father angry. When his father got angry, his mother got angry.

Achilles remembered one day two years ago when he had a friend over, and, well, got a little more than friendly with him.

His mother had chosen that exact moment to come home, just in time to watch Achilles' friend sneak out the back door after seeing Thetis' headlights.

Thetis sat him down on the couch and gave him a long lecture about how he wasn't supposed to have any boyfriends- or girlfriends, because no one deserved him.

Thetis had chosen Deidameia for Achilles because Thetis had discovered she was closely related to Willem-Alexander; the King of the Netherlands.

So, unless Patroclus was like the lost grandson to the Prince of Wales or some shit he was very off limits.

He didn't know what his mother would do to Patroclus if she found out Achilles loved him.

But he DID love Patroclus... and he knew he shouldn't have kissed him that night (he had been practically naked after all!!!), but he couldn't help it.

He wanted to kiss Patroclus, to see his freckled cheeks flush, to feel what his body felt like pushed against his own.

But now that he had kissed him, he felt a little guilty. It wasn't fair to Patroclus, and Achilles knew that. But stiil.

Achilles wished there was a way, any way, that they could be together.

Chapter Text

When Patroclus woke up, Achilles was sitting next to him.

Achilles was still in his gym clothes, so Patroclus wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep.

He felt better, though, which was great.

As he took his eyes off of Achilles and looked around the room, his eye's caught on a figure in the doorway.

He jumped, causing Achilles to stop texting and look at him.

"What?" Achilles asked.

Patroclus jerked his chin in the general direction of the door.

Achilles looked, then he hastily stood up. "Mother!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Thetis looked at Achilles for a few seconds, and then her eyes flicked over to Patroclus. "My son left school in the middle of the day. I was notified, and I came straight away."

Achilles flushed. "Mother-"

"Leave," Thetis said.

Achilles got up and left.

Fuck, Patroclus thought.

Chapter Text

After Achilles left, Thetis came in and closed the door quietly behind her.

"What is your relationship with my son?" Thetis asked.

Fuck, Patroclus thought.

"You know what my relationship with him is." Patroclus said, then regretted it instantly.

Thetis' ice cold eyes seemed to freeze his insides, and Patroclus could hear his heart beating faster on the heart monitor he was hooked up to.

"What is your relationship with my son?" Thetis asked again, slower.

"Um," Patroclus said, "We're friends."

Thetis sat down in the seat Achilles was just in.

"You are going to break all ties with him." Thetis said.

"What?" Patroclus almost yelled. "Stop talking to him? But-" Patroclus started to protest, but then Thetis cut him off.

"I will destroy you if you don't," Thetis said, her eyes glinting. "I know people."

 "But I can't stop talking to him! He's my best friend!" Patroclus could feel his eyes watering.

"That's not my  problem." Thetis said.

"But why are you doing this to me?" Patroclus asked.

"Because. My husband was in the Olympics," Thetis said, "and if Achilles is going to be he needs to go to the best college there is for him, on an athletic scholarship."

Patroclus sniffled. "What if that's not what he wants?"

Thetis laughed. "It's not like he has a choice. My son was born with a legacy, and that legacy does not have you in it."

Patroclus laughed. "He's sixteen!"

Thetis nodded. "A crucial point in his life. He cannot make any mistakes, and that includes you."

Patroclus breathed in deeply. He was not going to cry in front of Achilles' mother.

Thetis smiled. "That is all you need to know." she said, standing up and walking to the door.

She paused before stepping through the doorway.

"Oh, and Patroclus? This conversation never happened." she said, and left, shutting the door behind her.

Chapter Text

Achilles was like the sun, Patroclus decided.

If Patroclus got too close, he would get burned.

He didn't know what kind of sick game Achilles was playing, and he didn't even want to know.

He had to stop thinking about Achilles. He didn't want Thetis to carry out her threat.

And besides, he already has someone, Patroclus thought. He doesn't need me.

Patroclus was kneeling on his bedroom floor, staring at the box that held all of his dead parents' things.

He had looked in it only once, after his aunt and uncle came and told him that he would be living with them from now on; there had been a bunch of papers that he couldn't bring himself to read at the time- or, well, ever, really.

How could he read his parents' private things? That just seemed wrong.

But... He was curious.


And he wanted to read them. Maybe if he did, he'd understand them more.

They'd died when he was three, who knew what he would find?

He took a deep breath and opened the box.

Chapter Text

The first thing Patroclus saw were two birth certificates.

My parents, he realized.

But something was wrong.

The birth certificates said his parents were born in England.

He lived in America.

Something was wrong. These birth certificates couldn't belong to his parents, This was impossible.

Was he born in England?

He stood up. Maybe his aunt and uncle would know.



Chapter Text

Patroclus ran down the hall to his aunt and uncle's bedroom and knocked on the door.

His aunt, Polyxena, opened the door, a confused look on her face.

Patroclus handed her the box of his parents' things. "Why were my parents born in England?" he asked.

Aunt Polyxena laughed. "It's not like they could control where they were born, Patroclus."

Patroclus hummed angrily. "You know what I meant."

Polyxena shrugged. "Your parents and I were born in England. So what?"

"So what?" Patroclus yelled. "Was I-was I born there too?"

"Yes," Polyxena said.

"Then why-" Patroclus started to say before he got cut off by Polyxena.

"I just got a call that my sister in England died, her son was an orphan, and he needed a home," she said. "I did what I had to do."

"But-" Patroclus started.

"No more questions," Polyxena said, shutting the door in his face.

Chapter Text

Briseis was waiting for Patroclus in her car, and Patroclus got in.

"Your mom called me and told me you're going through a hard time," Briseis said, pushing down on the gas and going way more than the speed limit.

Patroclus rolled his eyes. No matter what he said, Briseis insisted on calling Polyxena his mother.

He looked at her suspiciously; she had pinned up her long red hair, and was dressed in a tight black dress, with white eyeliner that made her green eyes pop.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Patroclus asked.

Briseis smiled. "Don't worry, lover boy," she said, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the backseat. "I got you covered."

Patroclus twisted around and looked in the backseat. He saw a suit. "Briseis..." he said slowly. "What do you mean?"

Briseis winked at him. "We've got a party to crash."

"NO!" Patroclus yelled.

"Yes." Briseis said, jerking the steering wheel to the left and into a driveway.

Chapter Text

Patroclus emerged from the house's bathroom a few minutes later in the suit- which, by the way, was more of just a nice white tank top and black skinny jeans. Briseis insisted on calling it a suit, though, so Patroclus was just rolling with it.

Briseis was waiting for him outside the door, and when she saw him she inhaled sharply and pushed him back in.

"No, no no." she muttered, pushing him against the wall and applying black eyeliner to him.

"What are you doing?!" Patroclus asked.

"You'll thank me later," she said, pushing his head back against the wall.

Patroclus sighed and just let her apply it.

Once she finished, she took out a comb and fixed his hair with it, studying his face carefully.

"There! Done." she said, letting him see himself in the mirror.

He gasped. He looked... actually decent for once.

His eyeliner made his brown eyes stand out, and his hair was perfect- it was usually just a mess.

"I know, right?" Briseis said happily. "Now, come on! We are at a party, you know."

Patroclus laughed as she dragged him into the living room, where a bunch of other kids from their grade were dancing to the radio.

Briseis tilted her head, looking at Patroclus. "I'm going to go get a drink- be right back." she said, disappearing into the crowd.

Patroclus smiled fondly. Briseis was definitely just saying that so he'd be forced to talk to someone else.

Like anyone would want to talk to him.

"Hey." A voice interrupted his thoughts.

He turned around and stared. It was Achilles.

Achilles grinned. "What are you doing here?" He was wearing a black shirt and red skinny jeans, along with his converse.

"I-" Patroclus faltered. "What are you doing here?"

Achilles tilted his head, confused. "This is the end of the year track party? The whole track team is here?"

Patroclus flushed. Achilles was part of the track team- he was the MVP.

"Briseis brought me here." he said.

"Ah," Achilles said. "That would explain the eyeliner."

Patroclus' hand went up to rub it off, but Achilles grabbed it.

"No, it looks fine." Achilles said. "You look fine." Achilles took a deep breath. "Do you wanna go upstairs?"

"Y-yeah." Patroclus said shakily.

He looked back at Briseis. She was busing grinding against some blonde girl- was that Deidameia?

Achilles followed his glance and laughed. "Yeah, they seem to be hitting it off well," he said, grabbing Patroclus' hand and leading him upstairs.

Chapter Text

Patroclus and Achilles were laughing as they stumbled into an empty bedroom.

"So, I think Briseis brought me here just so I could see you," Patroclus said, holding Achilles' hand and rubbing his thumb in little circles.

Achilles smiled fondly, "I knew I liked that girl."

Patroclus laughed. "Of course you do."

"Anyway," Achilles said, "what do you want to do?"

Patroclus raised his eyebrows. "Hmm, all alone, in a bedroom, during a high school party? Depends. Do you want to be all cliché and have sex, or do you just want to keep up with the awkward conversation?"

Achilles looked surprised for a second, blushing.

Patroclus understood- Achilles was usually the one to instigate all the kissing and stuff. But he didn't think he had anything left to lose- he honestly didn't think Thetis would kick him out- and, besides. How would she even find out? Patroclus was done being careful. He wanted Achilles, and he would have him.

"We can't just have sex," Achilles said, looking like the words physically hurt to say. "There's lube and condoms and stuff we need."

Patroclus sighed. "I'll go get some, okay? Wait here." He opened the door and was startled to find Briseis there.

Briseis laughed. "I saw you two come up here- don't worry, bro, I got you covered," she said, handing him a bag and pushing him back inside the room.

Achilles closed the door, shaking his head. "Never let her go, Patroclus."

Patroclus looked inside the bag; sure enough, there were condoms and lube in there.

He'd definitely have to talk to Briseis after the party.

He looked up from the bag and stared.

Achilles was stripping off his clothes; his shirt and shoes were gone, and he was struggling with his pants.

Patroclus stifled a laugh. "I, uh, think those are too tight," he said.

Achilles fell onto the bed, laughing. "Could you, um, help?" he asked.

Patroclus rolled his eyes.

He walked over to the bed and shook his head. "Hmm, maybe we won't have sex then," he said, climbing into Achilles. "Maybe I'll just make you come in you pants instead."

Achilles' eyes widened. "I- yeah, that too."

Patroclus leaned down and kissed Achilles' mouth, and then he moved down, leaving a trail of kisses on Achilles' chest.

He looked up quickly and saw that Achilles' eyes were closed. He smiled, and started moving his hips back and forth, well aware that he was sitting on Achilles' lap.

Achilles sighed, and Patroclus pressed down harder, kissing him, trying to memorize Achilles' mouth.

He could feel Achilles' hips grinding against his own, and he felt sweaty.

He took a deep breath and rocked back and forth faster, moving his hands onto Achilles' chest and digging his nails into his sides.

Patroclus bit Achilles' lip, and he tasted blood.

He dug his hips into Achilles again, and again, and again, finding a rhythm and sticking to it.

Achilles arched his back and came with a cry, and collapsed onto the bed, gasping desperately.

Patroclus got off of Achilles' lap shakily, bending down to Achilles' ear. "I have to go," he whispered. "I'll see you at dinner."

Patroclus stood up, grabbed the bag, and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.


Chapter Text

Patroclus leaned against the wall outside of the bedroom.

Why did he leave?

Well, probably because he had no idea what the fuck one's supposed to do after making your- what even was Achilles? A friend?- come in his pants?

Patroclus had no fucking idea.

He was so busy thinking he didn't see Briseis sneak up on him.

She tapped his shoulder, and he jumped.

Her red hair was escaping from the elastic she had put it in; random strands of hair were loose around her face.

There were red lipstick marks all over her neck, sharply contrasting with her brown skin.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Patroclus sighed. "I don't know. I feel- I feel like Achilles won't like me anymore if we have sex."

Briseis frowned. "No, sweetheart. He's liked you ever since he met you; he told me, okay? Do you think a little kid saw you and the first thing he thought was "Oh, I like him- but only because I want to fuck him."? No. I think you need to talk to Achilles about this."

Patroclus gaped at Briseis. "I-"

Briseis shook her head. "You probably said something really stupid and casual to him, didn't you?"

Patroclus flushed. "Um, I said I'd, uh, see him at dinner."

"Patroclus!" Briseis chastized. "No!"

"No?" Patroclus asked.

"No! That poor boy- get back in there!" Briseis said, opening the door and shoving him back in the room.

Chapter Text

Achilles looked up when Patroclus came back in.

Achilles didn't know why Patroclus had left in this first place, but he was glad he came back.

Patroclus looked extremely guilty, and Achilles was glad. It was so cruel of Patroclus to just leave.

After Patroclus had left, Achilles had taken his clothes off completely- which Patroclus just seemed to be noticing.

He looked so cute when he blushed.

 "Hey," Achilles said. "Are you okay?"

Patroclus sat down on the bed next to Achilles and laughed. "I got you naked, and that's more than okay."

Achilles raised his eyebrows. "And why aren't you naked yet?"

Patroclus stared at him. "I literally just came in here."

"No, I'm pretty sure you haven't come yet," Achilles said.

 "Achilles!" Patroclus blushed again, and took off his shirt.

"Here, let me help," Achilles said, getting up and taking Patroclus' shirt off for him.

"Thanks," Patroclus murmured.

Achilles moved his hands up and down Patroclus' bare back, moving his head down and biting Patroclus' neck.

"I'm sorry," Achilles said, pausing and looking Patroclus in the eye.

"For what?" Patroclus asked.

"For that day when you got really mad at me and I wouldn't apologize. Whatever I did, I'm sorry," Achilles said.

Patroclus blinked slowly, and Achilles realized he was going to cry.

"Hey," Achilles said, "it's okay. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days."

Patroclus laughed. "No."

"Are you absolutely sure you want to have sex?" Achilles asked Patroclus carefully. He didn't want to force Patroclus into anything.

Patroclus rolled his eyes. "A really hot naked guy is standing in front of me right now, of course I'm going to have sex with him."

Achilles smiled. "Yes, and sadly I am the only hot naked guy in this room right now, so..."

Patroclus got up off the bed and pressed against Achilles, moving Achilles' hand to the button of his jeans. "You want to change that?" he asked.

Achilles took a deep breath. "Ye-yes I do."



Chapter Text

"Okay," Patroclus said, stepping away from Achilles and slipping the rest of his clothes off.

Patroclus laid face down on the bed, not quite sure what he was doing, but he figured he'd just let Achilles take the lead.

And Achilles did, pausing to roll on a condom before climbing onto Patroclus. He started massaging Patroclus' lower back, and he slowly moved downward.

Patroclus relaxed and closed his eyes.

Achilles opened the jar of lube and spread it carefully across Patroclus' ass carefully as he slowly fingered Patroclus, moving easily from one finger to two as Patroclus got even looser.

Achilles paused after putting a third finger into Patroclus. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You're not, like, talking or anything."

"Because I'm trying to enjoy the moment, Achilles. Now shut up and get on with it," Patroclus said.

Achilles laughed. "Wow, okay."

Achilles leaned forward, brushing his lips against Patroclus' shoulders, so close that Patroclus could feel something that could only be Achilles' dick brushing against his thigh.

Patroclus felt a chill go through his body, and he shivered. "Stop teasing and just fuck me, Achilles," he said.

"So demanding," Achilles whispered as he moved back down Patroclus' body. He massaged Patroclus' ass again before gently brushing his dick against it.

Achilles put more lube on his dick before sliding it into Patroclus.

"I remember how it felt when you were straddling me," Achilles said, slowly moving his hips back and forth as Patroclus got used to the feeling. "You were such a fucking tease, and now it's my turn."

Achilles dug his hips into Patroclus, making Patroclus grunt.

"I'm going to make you talk." Achilles continued. "I'm going to make you scream my name until you come, and then I'm going to keep fucking you, so you never forget how I felt inside of you."

Patroclus breathed in shakily, grasping the sheets as Achilles started going faster.

Achilles tightened his legs' grip around Patroclus more every time he jerked forward into Patroclus.

Patroclus closed his eyes, well aware that the bed was shaking.

Achilles started touching his back with his fingers, and Patroclus moaned.

"What was that?" Achilles asked, digging his nails into Patroclus and twisting his hips at the same time.

Patroclus felt like he had vertigo. "I-I..." he tried to speak, but he couldn't. He felt like he was leaking, and he realized he was close to coming.

He shivered again as Achilles leaned forward, fucking him from a different angle.

Achilles was completely spread out on top of him, and Patroclus couldn't think about anything else. He wanted to live in this moment forever.

Achilles bit his shoulder, and Patroclus arched his back, trying to form a word, a syllable, anything.

"Say my name," Achilles whispered.

Patroclus took a deep breath and yelped as Achilles trusted his hips harder into Patroclus.

Patroclus swallowed. The sheets he was grasping were soaking wet with sweat, and all Patroclus could feel was Achilles inside of his, and how Patroclus was trying so hard not to come.

"Ah" he managed, trying to see through the haze of lust. "Ah-ah-ah," he stuttered.

Achilles sighed. "I'm afraid that's not the answer," he said, his breath hot against Patroclus' back. He dug his nails into Patroclus' ass as he moved his hips forward slowly.

Patroclus just couldn't take it anymore, and he came with a cry, panting harshly.

Achilles laughed, pressing against Patroclus. "We'll have to work on that, won't we?"

"Uhhh," Patroclus moaned, trying to focus on something other than Achilles' dick inside of him.

He felt hot, sticky, and sweaty as Achilles rocked his hips forward once more for good measure before pulling out slowly.

Patroclus heard Achilles pull off the condom and stuff it back in it's wrapper, and then into the trash can in the corner of the bedroom.

Achilles walked back over to Patroclus and sat on the bed next to him, running his hands through Patroclus' hair.

"That was nice," Achilles said.

Patroclus laughed, and tried to get up, but Achilles gently pushed him back down.

"No." Achilles said. "Just- just catch your breath okay?"

Achilles stood up and pulled on his jeans. "I'll go get you some water," he said. "And don't worry about anyone coming in here. There's an unspoken law that says closed bedroom doors aren't to be opened, so you'll be safe." Achilles opened the door. "I'll be right back," he said, leaving and closing the door quietly behind him.

Chapter Text

Achilles walked down the stairs to where the party was, smiling stupidly to himself.

It had felt so good to be inside Patroclus, it felt so amazing knowing he could make Patroclus speechless.

He walked over to the snack table and poured a cup of water for Patroclus.

He was walking back up the stairs when he saw Deidameia sitting on one of the steps.

She looked up at him, and he saw that her eyeliner was smudged.

She's been crying, he realized.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked.

Achilles glanced upstairs. "Yeah, um. Sure." he said, sitting down next to her.

Deidameia looked away from him, brushing back a piece of hair from her face.

"So," she said. "I've met someone, and I feel like- I feel like I can't do this anymore."

Achilles' heart sped up. "Do what?"

"Us. Achilles, I know that our parents want us to be together, but I just... I can't. Not when there's someone else. And don't pretend to be sad about it. I know about you and Patroclus, so please just don't say anything." Deidameia said quickly.

"You-" Achilles started to say, but Deidameia waved her hand at him, cutting him off.

"Yeah. Briseis- my girlfriend- told me. She's Patroclus' best friend," Deidameia said. She laughed. "Isn't that weird?"

Achilles laughed along with Deidameia. "So fucking weird." He paused. "So, this is what you want? To break up and date other people?" he asked.

Deidameia nodded. "I know our parents will be pissed, but they can't control our entire lives. I'd rather me be happy then them."

"Okay," Achilles said.

Deidameia turned to him, her face shining. "Really?"

"Really," Achilles said.

Deidameia hugged him and jumped up, smiling. "Thank you so much. Oh my god, thank you!" she said before running down the stairs to a waiting Briseis.

Achilles laughed, getting up and walking up to the bedroom where Patroclus was waiting.

This could be very bad, he thought, but he didn't care.

What happened would happen. He was done letting other people control his life.

Chapter Text

Achilles walked into the room with a glass of water, and he saw that Patroclus had fallen asleep.

Achilles rolled his eyes and placed the glass onto the nightstand.

He was reaching over to brush a loose piece of hair from Patroclus' face when his phone buzzed.

Achilles sucked in a breath. It was his mother telling him to come home. Apparently she had some huge news to tell him.

But- he couldn't leave Patroclus. That would make this whole thing seem like a one night stand.

He couldn't leave. He'd just tell his mother he was-


His mother would be pissed if he didn't come.

Achilles sighed, reaching over to the desk in the corner of the room and scrawling a note for Patroclus to read once he woke up.

He bent down and kissed Patroclus' forehead before leaving.

Chapter Text

Patroclus woke up with a smile on his face.

He couldn't believe Achilles had actually done that to him.

He laughed, stretching with a groan and sitting up in bed.

He was a little sore, but that would go away.

Patroclus reached beside him, expecting to feel Achilles laying there.

He wasn't.

Patroclus whipped the covers off and got up, looking frantically around the room.

Achilles wasn't there.

Patroclus tried to control his breathing as he pulled on his hair anxiously.

Why wasn't Achilles there?

Patroclus looked around the room again, more carefully this time.

Maybe he had left a note?

He scanned the room, seeing a glass of water, but no note.

Kneeling down, he looked under the bed and furniture.

No note.

Patroclus laughed. He should've known this was going to happen.

He had known, for fucks sake.

He'd just hoped that...That what? Achilles, the most perfect man in existence, would actually want him?

Patroclus tried not to cry as he left the room to go home.

He didn't see the note tucked under the lamp on the nightstand.

Chapter Text

Patroclus raced home in his car, slamming the front door and running up to his room.

He collapsed on the bed, sobbing.

He fucked up, he fucked up.

He went into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and washing the eyeliner off.

Achilles is an asshole, he decided.

I'm never talking to him again.

His phone went off; a call from Briseis.

He picked it up, walking back over to his bed and sitting down on it.

"Hey" he said. "What do you want?"

"You just ran out of that party so fast I got really worried. Are you okay?" Briseis asked.

Patroclus laughed. "No, I'm not. He doesn't care, Briseis. He just left. No note or anything. You were wrong, okay? He doesn't fucking care about me."

"What? Patroclus, I don't think-" Briseis started to argue, but Patroclus just laughed and hung up on her.

He got under the covers and fell asleep crying.


Chapter Text

After that, Patroclus had let the weeks slip by without talking to Achilles; they had flown by without even a word.

Achilles was confused enough to leave him alone. He didn't want to make it worse.

Summer was in one day; Achilles would be choosing a friend to go to summer camp with him.

Patroclus wondered who he would choose to replace him.

He would miss Achilles when he was gone for the summer.

Patroclus was sitting on his bedroom floor, considering whether or not he should say goodbye to Achilles before he left that night.

He heard a knock on his door, and frowned. His foster brothers never bothered him- was it Thetis?

He got up quickly and opened the door.

It was Achilles.

Chapter Text

Patroclus made to shut the door, but Achilles was too fast, and he slipped into Patroclus' room.

"Patroclus, your mom let me in, because we need to talk" Achilles said, "it's been almost a month. I don't know what I did wrong?"

Patroclus stared at Achilles. "You don't- you left me!"

"I left you a note!" Achilles shouted. "Here," he said, shoving a piece of paper at Patroclus.

Patroclus sighed and read it out loud.



Hey, I know I'm not there, and you've just woken up, but my mother just called me and it's really important and I have to go. I don't want you thinking this was a mistake, or that I think less of you because of it.

I love you



After Patroclus finished reading it he didn't say anything.

Achilles- Achilles loved him.

He'd been ignoring Achilles for so long without any reason.

Why hadn't he seen the letter?

"Achilles-" he started, but Achilles shook his head.

"It's okay," Achilles said. "My mother wanted to tell me that next year I'm going to a boarding school."

Patroclus' eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, but Achilles shook his head again.

"I asked her- I asked her if I could take you with me," he said.

"What-" Patroclus took a deep breath. "What did she say?"

"She said yes," Achilles said. "We're going after we leave Chiron's summer camp."

"You're taking me? Why?" Patroclus asked. This was too good to be true.

"Because I love you, okay? Please remember that." Achilles said, taking the note from Patroclus, kissing him on the cheek and leaving.

Chapter Text

The next day after school, Achilles and Patroclus stood outside in the sun, waiting for Chiron to show them around his camp.

It had been the last day of school, and Patroclus had felt relieved when he didn't get any weird looks from Achilles' friends like he had when he was ignoring him.

And, besides, Achilles' friends weren't here.

This camp was just for them. And, like, 25 other kids, but still.

Patroclus heard a sound behind him and Achilles, and he turned around.

It was a man riding a horse. The man had long brown hair and a scruffy beard, and the horse was carefully brushed, with short, combed hair.

Patroclus felt a wave of confusion.

"Chiron!" Achilles exclaimed happily, stepping forward to gently pat the white horse's head.

Chiron looked down curiously at them both.

"Hello," he said, motioning them to follow him as he steered his horse into the woods.

They followed him as he explained the camp.

They would share a cabin with each other during the night, and during the day they would attend a bunch of lessons such a archery, swimming, rope climbing, and other things that made Patroclus regret coming. Achilles was the athlete, not him.

As if he heard what Patroclus was thinking, Achilles reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. You'll be fine, Achilles mouthed behind Chiron's back.

Patroclus smiled and nodded to show he understood, but he was still really nervous.

Chiron stopped suddenly. "Here's your cabin; curfew is at 8:00, and, since it is already 7:46, you may as well get an early start at sleep. You may explore the camp tomorrow," Chiron said, looking satisfied with himself for deciding they should go to bed early.

"Goodnight," Chiron said, twisting the reins and turning his horse around, galloping off.

Chapter Text

As they stepped into the cabin with their bags, Achilles turned to Patroclus, opening his mouth to speak, but Patroclus cut him off.

"I know there are two beds, Achilles, but I don't care. We're sharing a cabin in the woods, we're sharing a bed too," Patroclus said.

After all, why not? They could share a bed. Why shouldn't they?

Achilles flushed. "Okay," was all he said as he took their bags and unpacked them.

Neither of them said a word as they changed into their pajamas in front of each other, and then they made awkward eye contact.

"Who-" they said at the same time, and then they laughed.

Patroclus rolled his eyes, crawling into bed first, and, with Achilles' arms around him, he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning Chiron showed them around camp briefly, and then left them with a few of the other kids who were there.

Achilles and Patroclus were stuck sitting at a picnic table with Helen, Menelaus, and Odysseus.

Helen was ridiculously pretty, Patroclus decided, but she was also terrifying. She had a certain air around her, like she expected everyone she met to love her.

Her parents were billionaires who had built an empire in the fashion industry. So, basically, she was yet another spoiled rich kid Patroclus had to deal with.

Every summer they sent Helen far away from their house in India, and this year they had sent her here, where she had met Menelaus.

Patroclus didn't know what she saw in Menelaus.

Menelaus money, Patroclus supposed. His parents had achieved millionaire status after his grandmother had finally died, leaving them with the money.

Menelaus had nothing to offer Helen; well, sure he was attractive, what with his red hair and brown eyes, but he did not seem to match Helen intellectually.

Patroclus had a very strong feeling that Helen was just playing with Menelaus- the stupid, newly rich American boy who seemed to know nothing about his new world.

That left Odysseus.

Odysseus was an extremely clever guy; he was just barely older than Achilles, at a whopping 17 years old. He had a girlfriend, Penelope, who was interning at Vogue during the summer.

Odysseus' blue eyes always seemed to shine even more when he talked about her.

Patroclus was happy for him, even though he knew Helen didn't approve. Odysseus had money from his dead Irish parents, and Penelope had no money at all.

Patroclus found himself not caring about who had money and who didn't, and where they got it from or if they made it themselves.

People were people.

He had known Achilles' family long enough to understand that what the media thought of you was everything.

It had been a very good move for the Helen's parents to send her here, with all these other teenage heirs.

Patroclus was so busy thinking he didn't hear Achilles asking him a question, and he jumped when Achilles gently tapped Patroclus' nose to get his attention.

"What?" Patroclus asked, suddenly noticing that everyone was looking at him.

"We were just wondering if you would like to join us in an adventure to the summer camp a couple miles away," Helen said, leaning her head on Menelaus' shoulder.

 Achilles saw Patroclus' confused look and laughed. "This is camp Greece- the other camp is camp Troy. There's always been a rivalry between the two."

Patroclus considered that. There always seemed to be rivalry between places, and, besides, they came here to have fun. They may as well support their camp and the rivalry it bore.

"Okay," Patroclus said, smiling when he saw Achilles' face light up.

Chapter Text

Camp Troy, Patroclus decided, was for hot rich people.

It wasn't like the people at camp Greece weren't attractive, it was just that no one really compared to Achilles.

Until he saw Paris.

Paris was, well, hot.

He was the perfect height, not too short, not too tall, he was blond *cough* like Achilles *cough*, and he had muscles that could protect you from anything.

What? Patroclus was a guy, okay, he had needs.

Apparently Helen agreed with Patroclus, because, while they were hiding in the forest watching Paris and his friends from a distance, Helen snuck off.

Menelaus didn't even notice until they were back at their own camp (they chickened out of doing anything after they saw Paris practicing back flips off his cabin roof), and he went running back to the other camp, only to come running back, screaming that Helen was sharing a canoe with Paris on the lake.

Patroclus had tried not to roll his eyes.

Girls like Helen weren't looking for true love as much as were their next toy, and Paris was way hotter than Menelaus.

As Patroclus lay next to Achilles that night, he remembered the promise they had all made to Menelaus; they'd help him get Helen back.

Patroclus was already starting to wonder if that was even possible.

Chapter Text





"Are you up?"

"Get uuuup."

"Patroclus, wake uuuup."

Patroclus groaned and dug deeper into the covers. "Shut up, Achilles."

"You know we have to pretend we care that Helen left Menelaus, right?" Achilles asked, ignoring the fact that it was 2:30 am.

"Of course we have to. He's our friend, you jerkface," Patroclus snapped. He was not a morning person. Why couldn't Achilles just leave him alone?

"If someone took you away I'd be mad too," Achilles said, turning over onto his side to look at Patroclus.

"She wasn't taken," Patroclus said angrily. "She's not an object. She wanted to go with Paris, okay? She chose to leave Menelaus."

Achilles sucked in his breath, and Patroclus realized he was laughing.

"What?" Patroclus asked angrily.

"I just- you're just such a good person, Patroclus. I'm glad you call me out when I'm wrong," Achilles said.

Patroclus laughed. "You're not getting any brownie points for that. I've still got work to do."

Achilles sat up in bed, twisting around the sheets as he climbed on top of Patroclus.

Patroclus suddenly remembered they were both only wearing underwear.

Achilles brushed his lips against Patroclus'. "I'm not asking for brownies," he said.

Patroclus shivered and pulled Achilles down, kissing him as Achilles balanced his weight on Patroclus, trying not to crush him.

Patroclus laughed and pulled Achilles' arm out from under him. "Stop being gentle," he said. "I can handle it. I can handle you."

Achilles' blinked slowly, then smiled.

He pressed his body down onto Patroclus', and Patroclus gasped; it was like Achilles was trying to merge with him, trying to somehow weld their bodies and souls together.

Achilles kissed him, biting down hard on Patroclus' bottom lip so hard Patroclus tasted blood, but he didn't stop kissing Achilles back, didn't stop arching his body up even though Achilles was pushing his own body down.

Patroclus could feel Achilles' smile as Achilles ran his hands down Patroclus' sides, slipping his hands into Patroclus' underwear.

Achilles moved his head onto Patroclus' neck, biting down as he tightened his grip on Patroclus' dick.

Achilles kept biting new patches of Patroclus' neck as he jerked him off, and Patroclus came with an inarticulate cry, feeling Achilles collapse next to him with a sigh.

Achilles sucked on his fingers, studying Patroclus carefully.

"What?" Patroclus asked.

"Nothing," Achilles said, leaning over and kissing Patroclus before falling asleep, his body tucked under Patroclus' arm.

Patroclus smiled to himself before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Chapter Text

The next few weeks passed without any memorable occasion; Patroclus had managed to convince Menelaus that Helen would come back to him eventually, so life at camp had gradually gone back to normal.

Until Paris walked into camp.

Paris had a letter in his hand, and Patroclus was the only one who saw him place it on Menelaus' cabin doorstep and run off.

Patroclus had told Menelaus, and now Achilles, Odysseus and him were sitting around the campfire listening to Menelaus tried to read the letter out loud.

Menelaus gave up after 'Dear Menelaus,', skimmed the rest, and then he gave out a cry of rage.

"What is it?" Odysseus asked.

"He is challenging us to a laser tag battle. Winner gets Helen." Menelaus said angrily. "Laser tag! What the fuck is wrong with him?"

"I love laser tag!" Achilles said, bouncing up and down in his seat. "We'll win, don't worry, lover boy."

"You better," Menelaus said, his voice grave. "We meet him at the laser tag place tomorrow afternoon."

Chapter Text

They did not win.

The only thing Patroclus could remember was falling in the first five minutes of the game, Achilles screaming, and then Achilles jumping Paris' brother, Hector.

Gosh, Achilles was so dramatic sometimes.

They had lost because Paris had brought forty nine other people to be on his team.

They practically ran out of that place.

They were all sitting around the campfire (again- it had become their hangout place), and Odysseus was trying to figure out how to get Helen back, now that they had lost the challenge.

"I think," Odysseus was saying, "We should, like, give her a gift as, you know, a sign that we respect her decision- except, inside, there's a letter... get this guys... from her parents... it's foolproof."

Patroclus snorted. "Um? No."

"Why not?" Menelaus asked, his eyes sparkling. "Maybe if her parents tell her to come back to me she will!"

"No, Menelaus," Achilles said.

Menelaus jumped in surprise. Achilles didn't usually talk to him.

"Why not?" Menelaus asked.

"Women aren't objects, okay? If she's happy with Paris and not you, then just leave her alone," Achilles said, glancing at Patroclus and smiling.

"I- I never thought about it that way," Menelaus said, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

They all waited a couple seconds before Menelaus spoke again, his voice brittle.

"Fine. No more trying to get her back," he said. "I'm done."

Chapter Text

All of them had kept badgering Menelaus about his decision to let Helen go, so Menelaus went and locked himself in his cabin.

Patroclus didn't know what to do.

Odysseus was texting Penelope, Achilles was calling his mother, and so Patroclus had decided to go talk to Helen.

He was standing in front of Paris' cabin, trying to figure out if Helen was inside.

He knocked hesitantly and then tested the door nob. It was unlocked, so he went in.

Helen was sitting on the floor, looking through her phone.

"Hi," Patroclus said.

Helen jumped and hastily stood up.

"Patroclus!" she cried. "Can you take me back?"

Patroclus tilted his head in confusion.

"But don't you want to stay?" he asked.

Helen sighed and walked over to him.

Patroclus noticed that her mascara was smudged.

"I- I miss him, Patroclus. Paris is, well, hot and everything, and the sex is great, but... He's not Menelaus," Helen said, her voice hoarse.

"Okay," Patroclus said. "I'll take you back."

Chapter Text

They walked back through the woods together awkwardly, each of them trying to figure out what to say.

Helen thought of something first, saying "Achilles really loves you, you know."

Patroclus rolled his eyes. "Of course he does," he said. "He's never left me for another guy. Or girl."

Helen sucked in her breath and stopped walking.

At first Patroclus thought he had gone too far, but then he realized they were at the camp gates.

Helen looked at him, blinking in an attempt to stop crying.

"Hey," Patroclus said, walking over to her, "you'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Helen asked. "Why would he still want me, after I broke his heart?"

Patroclus laughed. "Just because you broke his heart doesn't mean he stopped loving you. He just tells himself he did to try and get over you. He thinks, 'Maybe if I never loved her then she didn't really break my heart. Maybe if I didn't love her, none of it was real.' But you were real. You are real. And you do love him. Does it really matter that you broke his heart if you come back to him after?"

Helen smiled through her tears. "I don't think he loves me anymore. How could he?"

Patroclus smiled back. "It's not that easy to stop loving someone, even after they hurt you," he said.

Helen laughed. "I can see why Achilles is in love with you. Nothing's impossible according to your optimism," she said through her laughter.

Helen walked through the gates, and Patroclus followed her.

Chapter Text

Menelaus saw her first, his eyes widening in surprise. He got up from the picnic table he was sitting on a ran over to Helen, picking her up by the waist and twirling her around.

Helen laughed and pressed her face onto Menelaus' shoulder, and Patroclus knew that everything would be all right.

There were two weeks of summer left, and they would have to make the most of it together.

"Hey," Achilles said, sneaking up behind Patroclus.

Patroclus jumped and turned around. "Achilles! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Achilles rolled his eyes and pointed to Helen and Menelaus. "Did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?" Patroclus said indifferently. "She came back by herself."

Achilles didn't say anything, looking at Patroclus fondly.

"What?" Patroclus snapped.

"I was thinking," Achilles said, "that we could go for a little dip in the lake?"

"A dip in the lake? Okay, just let me go and get our-" Patroclus broke off when Achilles smiled.

"Achilles!" Patroclus said indignantly. "We are not skinny dipping!"

Achilles rolled his eyes again and sighed. "Well," he said, "the lake is very big, but that's not what I meant. There just happens to be a river a mile or so away from our cabin, and I don't think anyone will find us there, since it's deep in the woods."

Patroclus sighed, trying not to look at Achilles' begging face.

He failed, and his heart melted as soon as he met Achilles' green eyes.

"Fine," Patroclus said. "But we can't be gone for long. I don't want anyone looking for us."

Achilles laughed. "I hope no one looks for us. I'm the only one who's ever going to see you naked."

Patroclus flushed as Achilles grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the woods.

Chapter Text

"Here it is!" Achilles announced, stopping in front of a river not far from their cabin.

Patroclus gasped. It was beautiful. The river was clear, with flowers on the bank, and Patroclus could see moss on the bottom- no sharp rocks were anywhere near the river.

Patroclus wanted to take a picture of the river so bad, but then Achilles started taking his clothes off and he decided that taking a picture could wait.

He found himself staring at Achilles. When did he get such an amazing ass? Why hadn't he noticed before?

"Patroclus, do I have to help you, or are you going to keep staring at me?" Achilles asked, startling Patroclus out of his reverie.

Patroclus jumped, flushing as he realized Achilles had caught him staring.

"I-I can do it," Patroclus said, quickly stripping off all of his clothes and stepping carefully into the river.

Achilles grabbed him, tugging him in all the way.

"Achilles!" Patroclus shrieked. "It's cold!"

"It's not cold, you're just weak," Achilles teased, wading over to where Patroclus had fallen. The river came up to his waist, which just made Patroclus embarrassed, knowing he could just stand up instead of worrying about drowning.

Achilles picked Patroclus up gently, and Patroclus wrapped his legs around Achilles' waist.

"See," Achilles said, "this isn't that bad."

Patroclus laughed softly and moved his head down, making their foreheads touch. "The fact that I am literally sitting right above your dick and I can feel it touching my ass doesn't hurt either."

Achilles tilted his head up, kissing Patroclus and tightening his grip on him.

Patroclus bit Achilles' bottom lip when he felt Achilles' boner, moving his hips to grind on Achilles.

Achilles moaned, tightening his grip on Patroclus even more, and Patroclus kept grinding until he Achilles came.

Achilles sighed into Patroclus' mouth, and then he broke their lips apart, breathing heavily.

"Well," he said, panting. "I think this was a good idea, don't you?"


Chapter Text

The next morning Patroclus woke up to... nothing.

Achilles wasn't there.

He must have gone to breakfast already, Patroclus thought, shrugging.

He got up, got dressed, and went over to the dining hall to meet Achilles.

He looked around the room, but Achilles wasn't there either.

Where was he?


Patroclus jumped. "Achilles!"

Achilles laughed. "You looked so worried."

Patroclus wrapped his arms around Achilles' neck. "I wasn't," he whispered.


Chapter Text

Whiles they ate, Achilles told Patroclus that they had to leave camp early, because his mother wanted them home before school started and they were sent to the boarding school.

Patroclus thought that was a little strange, but he didn't say anything about it. Achilles' mother was a strange woman; she had her reasons.

They said their goodbyes to Helen, Menelaus, and Odysseus-making sure to get their phone numbers- and got on the bus home.

When they got there, Thetis grabbed Achilles and hugged him tightly.

"Achilles," she said, letting go, "why don't you go unpack your bags?"

Achilles glanced at Patroclus. "Okay," he said, grabbing their bags and disappearing down the hallway.

Patroclus nervously met Thetis' stare.

"Polyxena talked to me, asking me for help, and, well," she said nervously, "I've found your parents."

Chapter Text

"You dragged Achilles and I out of camp with one week left in summer to tell me you found my parents? My parents are fucking dead!" Patroclus snapped. "How twisted are you?"

"I'm not lying, and this is important, Patroclus," Thetis said calmly.

Patroclus shut up.

"Now," Thetis said, ushering him into the living room, "I was looking through the box of your parents' things, and I found a letter- you probably ignored it just because it was in French-" Patroclus started to protest but Thetis waved him off. "It says who your real parents are, that's why I called you from camp."

Patroclus flopped down onto the couch angrily. "You've been ruining Achilles' life ever since he was born, and now you're ruining mine! Don't lie to me and say my parents are alive! I looked through that box everyday and I never even saw that letter, so don't you dare lie to me, okay? I know you think Achilles deserves better, but honestly? I am better. I am good enough. Don't you dare try and get my hopes up by saying my parents are fucking alive. Don't you dare."

Thetis actually stepped back, a shocked look on her face. "You stupid boy. I am not trying to ruin your life- or my son's. I simply want the best for him. If that includes people not being good enough for him, so be it."

Thetis took a deep breath. "And I- I try to give him only the best because he deserves the best. If I control his life then he won't get hurt, and he'll be happy. But..." Thetis took a piece of paper out of her jeans pocket. "You make him happy, so I have to consider you good enough. And I think you want to know who your parents are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Patroclus asked furiously.

Thetis laughed. "Your parents were the heirs to the British throne- which makes you a prince."

"The British throne. That's a stretch, even for you." Patroclus said weakly.

"No, I mean it," Thetis said. "You were given to your aunt because your parents were getting a divorce and they didn't want to raise you in that environment."

"But- Polyxena said my parent died?" Patroclus asked, his head spinning.

Thetis waved a hand. "Technicalities."

"No, not technicalites," Patroclus said, getting up and running upstairs to Achilles' bedroom.

Chapter Text

Achilles jumped when Patroclus stumbled through the door.

"Are you okay?" Achilles asked.

"No!" Patroclus snapped.

Achilles raised and eyebrow.

"No!" Patroclus repeated.

"Did Mom tell you about your parents being royalty?" Achilles asked- then he slapped his hand over his mouth once he realized what he said.

Patroclus stepped dangerously close, waving a finger at Achilles. "You knew?"

"Pffffff nah..." Achilles said, backing away from Patroclus warily.

"'Pffffff nah'?" Patroclus repeated angrily. "No, you knew! And you didn't tell me? Why not?"

"Because," Achilles said. "You're the heir to a throne, Patroclus. You'd have to leave me to be with your grandparents, to learn how to be a king and all of that. And I- I don't want you to leave me."

"Well, I have to go! It's my responsibility to go!" Patroclus shouted, trying not to cry. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want t be an orphan either. Achilles was talking about his family.

"Please," Achilles begged, getting down on his knees. "Don't leave me."

Patroclus took a deep breath, ignoring the tears slipping down his cheeks. "I am."  He stepped away from Achilles and ran out the door.

Chapter Text

Patroclus stared out of the plane window.

He had done it. He had left Achilles and was flying to London to meet the Queen- his Grandmother.

It had been so hard, leaving, but he had to.

Achilles would be there when he got back, he knew that.

And Achilles had to understand, didn't he? Achilles knew him better than anyone else; he knew how much Patroclus had always wanted a family.

A real, actual, by-blood family, not just an aunt who never talked about her sister and her husband.

He had one now.

A real family.

He wasn't going to ignore them.

Achilles had to understand, didn't he?

Patroclus felt his eyes close, and he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Achilles turned off his phone and raised his head, staring at Buckingham Palace.

Patroclus had left him for this place two years ago.

Patroclus had left him for a family.

Wasn't he family enough?

Achilles shook his head as if he could shake the bad thoughts out.

He had come to see Patroclus- he'd graduated from high school a couple days before; he'd immediately bought a plane ticket and flew to where Patroclus was.

He had wanted to visit Patroclus before that, of course, but Thetis wouldn't let him visit- she wouldn't even let him leave town.

But he was eighteen now; an adult. Patroclus was eighteen too- they were born four months apart; Patroclus in February and Achilles in June.

Achilles had texted Patroclus over the years, of course, but meeting him was entirely different. And Patroclus was a prince now. Was he supposed to have researched proper etiquette for meeting a prince?

He shouldn't have even came.

He turned around to walk back to his hotel, but then he turned back around and squinted.

Was that... Patroclus?

Chapter Text

"Achilles!" Patroclus shouted, running over and hugging Achilles.

Achilles froze for a second, and then he picked Patroclus up by the waist and held him there for a few seconds before putting him back on the ground.

Patroclus stood in front of him, grinning.

A lot had changed since Patroclus left him.

A lot.

Patroclus had his brown hair cut short, bringing out his brown eyes and showcasing the dark shadows under those eyes as well.

Patroclus' face had thinned out; probably because he had gotten taller.

He was taller than Achilles now, and...

Were those muscles?

Achilles stared at Patroclus. There were- Achilles could see new muscles all over Patroclus' body: in his arms, his legs, and...

Were those abs?

Achilles didn't know what to focus on, Patroclus' newfound muscles or his strong jawline.

"You're staring," Patroclus said, laughing.

"I am not!" Achilles said hotly.

"Are too," Patroclus said.

"Am not!" Achilles snapped.

Patroclus rolled his eyes. "Okay, sure. Anyway, do you want to go out for lunch?"

"L-lunch?" Achilles stuttered.

"Yes. Lunch." Patroclus said.

"Like... a date?" Achilles said, gathering up his nerves.

Patroclus smiled crookedly. "That depends."

"On what?" Achilles asked.

"You'll see," was all Patroclus said before walking away down the sidewalk.

Achilles ran after him, wondering why Patroclus was being so mysterious.

Chapter Text

"Keep your eyes closed, Achilles."

Achilles sighed dramatically, giving up on trying to take his blindfold off.

After he had caught up to Patroclus (after running pathetically after him) Patroclus had whipped out a blindfold and told Achilles to put it on.

Achilles had no idea what was happening.

Was it possible to get kidnapped by a kid the same age as you?

But he had gone with Patroclus- but he still didn't know where they were going?

Once this was over he was definitely going to look up the definition of kidnapping.

He tried to listen to what was going on around him, but he could only hear the sound of his and Patroclus' feet against what sounded like wood.

He heard a door open, and he was pushed into a chair.

"Now can I take the fucking blindfold off?" he asked angrily.

He heard a sudden intake of breath, like Patroclus was shocked that he'd said that.

But that made no sense- why would Patroclus care if he swore?

"Achilles," Patroclus said, slowly removing Achilles' blindfold, "this is my grandmother."

The blindfold slipped off all the way, and Achilles swore inside his head.

Patroclus' grandmother-


The Queen of motherfucking Great Britain smiled at Achilles. "Hello."

"Hi," Achilles said weakly.

"You can leave now, Patroclus," the Queen said, not breaking eye contact with Achilles.

Patroclus left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 "So," Achilles said awkwardly. "How's the weather?"

The Queen laughed. "I hear it's raining men," she said.

Achilles snorted, trying not to laugh.

He was completely terrified.

"So, I understand that you are interested in pursuing Patroclus romantically?" the Queen asked, still studying Achilles' face.

"Yeah- yes. Yes ma'am," Achilles said.

"And?" the Queen asked.

"Uh," Achilles said. "Yes?"

"Is that a question or an answer?" the Queen asked.

So many questions, Achilles thought.

He felt like his brain was frying.

"That was an answer," Achilles said.

"Do you love Patroclus?" the Queen said- said, not asked. It sounded more like a statement than a question, Achilles decided.

"I do not love him," Achilles said. "I am in love with him."

The Queen leaned forward in her chair.

"Do you," she said softly, "honestly think you are good enough for a prince? For my grandson?"

Achilles felt something inside of him snap.

"Listen lady," he said angrily. "Here's the thing; I don't think I am good enough for him. Honestly. He is the best human being I have ever known, and I don't think anyone deserves him, but I love him, and I want to be worthy of him. I am not good enough, nowhere near good enough, but I want to be. I have to be. Isn't that enough?"

The Queen laughed. "Oh, you silly, stupid boy," she said.

"Excuse me?" Achilles snapped.

"You're so in love with each other it's ridiculous," the Queen said, standing up and walking over to Achilles.

Achilles laughed hysterically. "He's not in love with me. This whole thing... It's completely one sided."

The Queen shook her head. "Son, it's not. It's really not."

"Son?" Achilles repeated.

The Queen nodded. "I may as well call you that now instead of when you two are married."

"Married?" Achilles asked. He felt extremely lightheaded.

This was way too weird.

This was not happening.

"Yes," the Queen said. "You have my blessing."

"We- we're eighteen!" Achilles said, his head spinning.

"So?" the Queen asked.

Achilles stared at her uncomprehendingly.

The Queen winked, gesturing for Achilles to leave.

Achilles stood up and went to the door.

He paused and looked back at the Queen.

"Go get 'em, tiger," she said, winking.

He left.

Chapter Text

"What did she say?"

Of course Patroclus had been waiting outside the door.

Of course.

"She told me I was getting thrown off of Big Ben tomorrow, and that I should call my mother and tell her goodbye," Achilles snapped.

Why did Patroclus care what his grandmother said?

And why was his grandmother so fucking weird?

"Achilles what did she say?"  Patroclus repeated.

"It's none of your business, really," Achilles said angrily.

"None of my- I have a right to know, Achilles!" Patroclus sputtered.

"You have a right to nothing, Patroclus," Achilles said, still angry.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Patroclus asked.

"It means that I came here to see you, not get hassled by an old lady," Achilles spat.

"Old lady?" Patroclus said, his face pale. "Old lady? She's my grandmother-I just wanted you to meet her!"

"Well-" Achilles started to say something, but thought better of it.

"What?" Patroclus asked, his eyes softening just a fraction.

Nothing, Achilles thought as he walked down the hall, away from Patroclus.

Patroclus didn't follow him.

Chapter Text

Achilles curled into his bed once he got to his hotel, crying.

He didn't want this whole trip thing to go the way it did.

He didn't even know what he had been expecting.

Just.. Not this.

Just not like this.

A knock at his door startled Achilles, and he jumped up to answer it.

"Patroclus?" Achilles asked in astonishment.

Patroclus glanced down at his shoes, trying to hide his flush.

"What-what-" Achilles sputtered, then he gave up, dragging Patroclus inside his hotel room.

Achilles tried (and failed miserably) to not slam the door as he shut it, twirling around and staring at Patroclus.

"What do you want?" Achilles asked.

"You," Patroclus said simply.

"Wha- me? You're making no sense, Patroclus," Achilles said.

"I am engaged," Patroclus began, and waved off Achilles when he started to open his mouth. 

"I am engaged," Patroclus continued, "to a Princess- the Princess of... something... I can't remember, really, but I am engaged."

Achilles opened his mouth again, and Patroclus shook his head sadly.

"I am engaged," Patroclus whispered, "but I want you."

Chapter Text

"What the fuck?" Achilles yelled. "What the actual fuck Patroclus that makes no fucking sense."

"No- no, I am engaged!" Patroclus shouted back.

"Why?" Achilles tried to ask, but his voice broke, so it came out as more of a high pitch screech.

"I have to get married by twenty. Achilles- I have to get married by twenty, and I'm eighteen now, and my grandfather really wants me to marry this Princess, and then I- I told him about us, and he said that-" Patroclus broke off and took a deep breath.

"Said what?" Achilles spat.

"That if", Patroclus said calmly, "I get engaged to you in the next three months, I don't have to marry that girl."

"What the fuck," Achilles said. "What the actual fuck."

"So?" Patroclus asked.

"So what?" Achilles asked, then he understood. "No. No no no no. I'm not marrying you to get you out of another marriage. Why would I?"

Patroclus tilted his head. "Don't you want to marry me?"

"Not when it doesn't mean anything! God, you're so stupid!" Achilles said angrily, storming out of the hotel room and slamming it behind him.

After a few seconds he opened the door dramatically and walked back in.

"This is my room," Achilles said. "You have to be the one who leaves."

Patroclus sighed, shaking his head as he walked out the door.

Chapter Text

Achilles leaned his head against the door, biting his lip.

He banged his head against the door a few times, thinking hard.

He stepped back and opened the door, running after Patroclus.

Achilles couldn't see Patroclus anywhere- was he outside?

He went down the elevator to the ground floor and ran to the hotel doors.

Patroclus was walking down the street, and Achilles went after him.

"Patroclus!" Achilles yelled, catching up to Patroclus and grabbing his arm.

"Wha-" Patroclus was cut off as Achilles kissed him, twirling a strand of Patroclus' hair around his fingers.

"I'll marry you," Achilles said into the kiss.


Achilles woke up (alone and without Patroclus; they had left each other after arranging a coffee date in the morning) to seventeen new messages on his phone.

He sighed, unlocking his phone to read them all.


Odysseus [3:45 am] : Holy shit

Odysseus [3:45am] : You're engaged to the fucking prince???

Odysseus [3:46 am] : Wait

Odysseus [3:47 am]  : Patroclus is the prince??

Odysseus [3:47 am]  : Patroclus is a prince and you two are engaged???

Odysseus [3:47 am] : What the fuck

Odysseus [3:48 am] : CALL ME


Helen  [4:05 am] : wow you two don't waste anytime do you

Helen [4:05 am] : I better be invited to the wedding

Deidameia [4:19 am]  : hes a fuCKING PRINCE?????????

Deidameia [4:19 am] :  omg good for you babe

Helen [4:21 am] : im thinking a classic wedding theme, like Cinderella but more... glitter

Briseis [4:45 am] : If you hurt him I swear to the gods i dont care if youre a prince i will fuck you up

Thetis [5:00 am] : i am glad you are marrying Patroclus

Thetis [5:01 am] : it will greatly increase your chance of success in the business world

Menelaus [5:05 am] : can you please tell helen to stop freaking out about your wedding she keeps screaming into my ear


What the fuck? Achilles thought, rolling out of bed and turning the tv on.

BREAKING NEWS, the news station flashed in big red letters, PRINCE PATROCLUS IS ENGAGED TO ACHILLES PELIDES

"How do they know tha-" Achilles started to say, but then his question was answered as he saw a photo of him kissing Patroclus the night before.

"Paparazzi," Achilles said, spitting out the word.



Chapter Text

After Achilles called Odysseus and explained everything, he got dressed and walked to Patroclus' house (is it a house if it's a giant palace thing? Whatever.)

He went straight to the room he had met the Queen in, and she was still there.

Well, she wasn't "still there", but she was there again.

She must live in this boring room, Achilles decided.

The Queen slid him a letter that Achilles realized was a wedding invitation.

"They get sent out tonight," she said.

Achilles stared at her. "What?"

"I knew that once you came to visit Patroclus it would not be soon until you were engaged, so I just printed them out ahead of time," the Queen said happily.

"But- wasn't Patroclus gonna marry that girl?" Achilles asked.

The Queen laughed. "No. I just told him there was a girl he'd have to marry so he'd get on with marrying you."

Achilles kept staring. "You- what?"

"You heard me," she said. "No go. You're getting married in three days."

Achilles blinked, staring down at the invitation. "Uh-"

"Go!" the Queen snapped.

Achilles went, wondering where Patroclus was.

Chapter Text

Achilles found Patroclus in a living room of some sort, staring out the window at the paparazzi that was waiting for them outside.

"Are you okay?" Achilles asked.

"Yeah," Patroclus said, turning to Achilles and smiling sheepishly. "After all, I am getting married soon."

"Oui," Achilles said.

Patroclus raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, we," Achilles corrected.

"That was so lame, oh my god," Patroclus laughed.

"It was funny!" Achilles protested.

"Mhmm," Patroclus said teasingly.

"It was!" Achilles insisted.

Patroclus shook his head and linked arms with Achilles.

"Let's go," Patroclus said. "We need to pick out suits."

"I have a suit," Achilles said.

"No you don't," Patroclus said, grabbing Achilles' arm and dragging him outside.


"This is so stupid, Patroclus," Achilles said. "How many suits do I have to try on?"

"Enough to find one I like," Patroclus said.

"Shouldn't it matter if I like it?" Achilles asked.

Patroclus looked up from the piles of suits in the dressing room. "Achilles, you don't care what you wear, and I love you for that, honestly, but this is a wedding. I'm not letting you wear jeans and a ratty old shirt."

Achilles pretended to be insulted, bending down and picking up a suit (he felt awkward just standing there waiting for Patroclus to give him stuff to try on), and Patroclus gasped.

Achilles jumped. "What?"

"That's perfect!" Patroclus said. "Try it on."

Achilles sighed, putting it on and twirling around dramatically.

"I like it," Patroclus decided. "It's golden, just like the rest of you."

Achilles rolled his eyes. "Where's your suit?"

Patroclus laughed. "You'll have to wait and see!"

Chapter Text

"Achilles, you will not look ridiculous," Patroclus said soothingly, fixing Achilles' tie.

"It's a golden suit, Patroclus. Why did you tell me you like the golden suit? Who wears a golden suit to their wedding?" Achilles muttered.

"Our wedding is tomorrow, Achilles. I think it's a little late to change it," Patroclus said.

"Yeah, I guess," Achilles said. "But it's tomorrow. Why are we getting dressed up now? And why are we getting dressed up for just a walk outside?"

"We are 'getting dressed up' because of paparazzi, Achilles. This is our big day," Patroclus said.

"I thought that was tomorrow?" Achilles asked, gently pushing away Patroclus' hands to fix his tie himself.

"N- well, yeah, but..." Patroclus sighed.

"What?" Achilles asked, cupping Patroclus' chin and meeting his eyes.

"This is our last day before we get married," Patroclus said.

"Yeah, I know," Achilles said.

"Our last dinner before we're married," Patroclus continued.

"So?" Achilles asked.

Patroclus laughed. "We need to look good, Achilles."

"You always look good," Achilles said.

"That's sweet, Achilles, but that's not what I meant. I meant as a couple," Patroclus said.

"We are a couple, yeah," Achilles said.

"Oh my god, Achilles, you know what, just forget it. We'll just stay in tonight," Patroclus said, taking Achilles' hand and kissing it.

"Yay," Achilles said sarcastically.

Patroclus rolled his eyes and then kissed Achilles.

"Tomorrow," Patroclus whispered, "we'll be married."

"Too bad we wont have to, uh, consummate the marriage," Achilles said.

Patroclus laughed, walking towards the bathroom. "Well, what's the point in waiting to have sex after marriage? That'd be really crappy sex. Neither of you would know what to do."

"Where are you going?" Achilles asked.

"I'm going to take a shower," Patroclus said. "And you are too."

Achilles flushed. "What?"

Patroclus rolled his eyes. "Achilles, just get in here."

"I-okay." Achilles followed Patroclus into the bathroom and shut the door behind them.

Chapter Text

Achilles woke up to a bed without Patroclus in it and a lot of screaming.

"It's your wedding day!" he heard someone yell.

"Briseis?" Achilles said. "Is that you?"

"Get your head out from under the covers and find out."

Achilles groaned and sat up in bed, staring at Briseis.

"Great!" Briseis said. "Your wedding is in six hours, so you gotta start getting ready."

"Why aren't you helping Patroclus get ready?" Achilles asked.

"Deidamia's helping him," Briseis said, reaching into the closet and pulling put Achilles' suit.

"Oh," Achilles said.

"Don't worry," Briseis said, flopping down on the bed next to him. "She's not jealous or anything."

"I know," Achilles said.

Briseis laughed. "Yeah, why would shes till be bitter about you when she's got all of this?"

"Ew," Achilles said. "I did not need that image in my head."

"Pervert," Briseis said, jabbing him with her elbow.

"Ow!" Achilles yelped.

"Oh, come on that did not hurt," Briseis said. "Now, come on, you really do have to get dressed. Unless you want to get married wearing that?"

"Well..." Achilles said.

Briseis laughed.


After he got changed (Briseis was already dressed up in a red dress), Briseis and Achilles watched Lord of the Rings until it was time to go to the church.

Achilles didn't really remember much of the wedding (thank god it was recorded). The only thing he remembered was Patroclus' face smiling back at him.

Chapter Text

After their wedding Achilles and Patroclus sat on Patroclus' bedroom floor staring at each other.

"What do we do now?" Patroclus asked.

"Get a divorce?" Achilles teased.

"Achilles!" Patroclus shrieked.

"What, too soon?" Achilles laughed.

Patroclus stood up, grabbing a pillow from the bed and throwing it at Achilles' head.

Achilles pretended to get offended. "Hey! Are you trying to kill me?"

Patroclus laughter turned to high pitched screeching as Achilles stood up, picking Patroclus up and swinging him around.

"Let me down!" Patroclus screamed.

"What's the magic word?" Achilles asked, but he did slow down a little.

"The magic word is I'm gonna fucking throw up on you if you don't stop spinning me around," Patroclus said.

"Yikes," Achilles said, dropping Patroclus on the bed.

"Yes, yikes," Patroclus agreed. "Anyway, I have decided that marriage is just like dating but more intense."

"Really?" Achilles said sarcastically. "I thought it was like dating but with tax benefits."

Patroclus laughed. "That too. Anyway, I own your ass now, so that's great."

Achilles laughed softly, laying on the bed next to Patroclus and turning to look at him.

"What?" Patroclus asked.

"You've always owned me since the first moment I saw you," Achilles said.

"Achilles," Patroclus said, closing his eyes.

"What?" Achilles asked, desperate to know what Patroclus wanted.

"I love you," Patroclus said, looking at him and smiling.

Achilles smiled back, reaching out and holding Patroclus' hand.

"I love you too," he said.