"Here we are," Jimin announced as Seokjin did a really bad imitation of a drumroll, "to celebrate Jungkookie's promotion at work!"
"Junior game developer to assistant developer!" Taehyung yelled, clapping Jungkook on the back. "Next thing you know, we'll be celebrating head of department promotion!"
Jungkook just laughed and shyly ducked his head, not bothering to deign that with a response.
"And of course, we're also gathered here to grill hyung about his boyfriend."
"Wait wha– Jimin!"
"Your imaginary boyfriend," Jimin explained blithely, as if they don't bring this up everytime they see Seokjin. "That we have never seen till date."
"Wasn't today supposed to be about Jungkook!?"
Jungkook shrugged. "The food's about me, the conversation can be about you, I don't care. You guys are paying by the way."
"Seokjin hyung will pay for everyone , unless he gives us proof of his boyfriend!" Taehyung declared gleefully as the sudden idea struck him.
"Yeah, no that won't work. We need proof . Call him over or something. Hell, facetime him."
"He's busy ," Seokjin insisted as he always did, and Taehyung resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Jimin didn't even bother to hide his eye roll, though.
Jimin raised an eyebrow. "Too busy to manage to come with you even once? Are you guys even dating?"
"And you could always show us pictures!" Jungkook pointed out. "You couldn't have been dating," and he punctuated that word with air quotes,"for a YEAR and not take a single photo!"
"Forget it," Seokjin sighed with a wave of his hand. "Go order some booze. If I'm paying, I want to be drunk off my money's worth." This was how all conversations about this topic ended, and they could never get anything out of the man about the supposed love of his life without him eventually changing the topic. Could you blame them for thinking that Seokjin didn't actually have a boyfriend and it was all a charade?
Taehyung glanced at Seokjin who had slammed his head down on the table and wasn't getting up, and shared looks with Jimin and Jungkook.
Well, Jimin was on his way to getting shitfaced too because him and Seokjin always had this weird competitive streak about drinking, but Jungkook seemed still there at least, going by his amused grin.
Jungkook snorted, poking the back of Seokjin's neck. "You drunk or dead?"
They shared another glance, laughing at the answer. "Well," Taehyung said with a clap, "better get your senior citizen ass home then."
There was no answer. Huh, Seokjin must be more drunk than Taehyung expected.
"I'll drop him off," Jungkook volunteered, standing up. The job fell to him half the time anyway, since Taehyung was better suited to wrangling Jimin.
"Hold on!" He yelled, louder than intended –because Jimin flinched and nearly dropped his 20933th glass of soju– as he scrambled forward to grab Jungkook's wrist and pull him down to his seat again. "I have this brilliant idea.
Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "And that is?"
"How about we get the boyfriend to pick him up?"
"Might as well call an unicorn too," Jimin giggled, leaning his whole body weight on Taehyung.
"Maybe he'll come riding one," Taehyung chuckled, grabbing Seokjin's phone from the table once he made sure the elder was still face planted on the table.
He fiddled with it as he tried to remember the password, until Jungkook grabbed Seokjin's hand with a deadpan face and unlocked it using his fingerprint. All three of them huddled together after that, gleefully searching through Seokjin's contact list. They were looking for a certain "Namjoon", but there was no one in the list with that name.
"Man, he seriously doesn't exist?" Jimin asked, disappointed. They all liked to tease Seokjin, but out of the three of them, Jimin actually had hopes that he was real.
Taehyung shrugged and scrolled through the list from top to bottom just in case.
"It's this one? Probably?"
"I don't know what to say."
They stared for a minute at the contact named 'my idiot bear' with a thousand heart and sparkle emojis, before Jungkook leaned forward and pressed the call button which lead to the breakout of a hushed argument.
"What did you do that for!?"
"How else are we gonna tell him!?"
"We don't even know if it's him!"
"Then we just keep trying!"
They froze at the deep, smooth voice that emanated from the phone, staring at it with wide eyes.
They looked at each other, and Taehyung swallowed. "Hello?"
"Who is this?"
The voice had turned sharp and suspicious instead of just the simple confusion it had earlier, and Taehyung scrambled to clarify. "We're Jin-hyung's friends! Is this Namjoon?"
"And you're using his phone because?" The man asked instead of answering, still suspicious. Damn, Seokjin's man seemed a bit rude.
"Cause he drunk." Jimin interjected, not looking much better than Seokjin to be honest. "Shit faced. Drink as fuck. Drunk. I mean drunk."
"Right," Taehyung cut him off before he could ramble more. "I don't know, we were hoping you might like to come pick him up?"
There was a pause.
"Send me the location, I'll be there."
He cut the call after that, the three of them still staring at the phone in Taehyung's hand. Honestly, did Seokjin's boyfriend hate them or something? Did he permanently sound like had a stick up his ass?
Jimin shrugged, playing with his glass. "Rich CEO male lead of a kdrama that has emotional constipation."
Jungkook snorted, shaking his head. "Let's just wait till he gets here."
Turns out, Seokjin's boyfriend was neither emotionally constipated nor an asshole.
He was definitely rich and looked like the male lead of a kdrama though. And very, very famous.
By the time he had walked into their private room at the restaurant, Seokjin had gotten up and was busy arguing with Jungkook over the best way to eat samgyeopsal. He had turned, taken one look at Kim-fucking-Namjoon, and burst into a wide smile.
Taehyung tried to calm himself while registering that the fact that THE Kim Namjoon just walked in. One of his favourite producers. His second favourite, actually, right after Suga. There wasn't much content of his personal life online, but Taehyung would know that face anywhere after all the interviews and speeches he had seen. Holy shit. His hyung was dating fucking RM. RM . And fucking RM too– wait no, bleach worthy thought. Go back, go back.
Jungkook practically whimpered next to him, forcing Taehyung to reign himself in. With Jimin and Seokjin drunk as hell and Jungkook about to go into a state of catatonic shock, someone had to act like a normal human being.
It wasn't helping that Seokjin had practically thrown himself into Namjoon's lap though, and the man was looking at Seokjin as if he was the most precious thing he had ever seen.
Taehyung cleared his throat. "Um."
Namjoon's head snapped up, looking a little sheepish. "Thanks for calling, I'll take over now."
"And sorry for sounding snappish on the phone, I wasn't sure if this was ruse to meet me or something, you know? Even if hyung talks a lot about you guys and tells me that you're all wonderful people. Sorry again."
"He talks about u–"
"You could never do anything wrong," Jungkook sighed breathily, getting everyone's attention.
Namjoon laughed a little, his dimples peeking. "Thanks?"
"That's right!" Seokjin suddenly yelled. "He's perfect."
Taehyung had the dawning, horrifying realization that maybe uniting Namjoon's lover and his number one fan in the same room, with Namjoon present , was maybe not the best idea. But it's not like he knew that Seokjin was dating RM, and anyway, it was too late now because Seokjin had now squished Namjoon's cheeks with one hand and was proceeding to tell about how cute he was and how he was Seokjin's baby, with very enthusiastic agreements from Jungkook.
In Taehyung's personal opinion, the way he had strode into the place with jaw clenched and managed to look intimidating and powerful even in simple jeans and sweater was not what he'd define as cute, but what did he know.
"I can't believe you're real," Jimin said suddenly.
Namjoon cocked his head curiously ( and ok, Taehyung could see why Seokjin just spent five minutes calling him a little puppy ), so Taehyung had to explain. Because that was his role now. Play mediator for his friends that had lost their brain to mouth filter.
"Well, Jin hyung kept saying he had a boyfriend," Taehyung explained, "but he never showed us any photos or didn't let us meet you even though we asked him, like, a couple hundred times. So we thought he was making it up."
"Yah!" Seokjin yelled from his perch on his boyfriend's lap, red faced in either annoyance or embarrassment. "You should trust your hyung!"
Namjoon laughed, pressing a fond kiss to Seokjin's hair and cuddling him closer when Seokjin almost fell off in his agitation. The man then directed a half smile towards Taehyung, looking apologetic. "That's probably because I'm well…me. We tried to avoid a scandal."
Taehyung nodded in understanding, everything making a LOT more sense. But then Jungkook, who had been quietly listening, pointed out something.
"Then why did you come here?"
It was a very good point, and they stared at Namjoon, questioning.
Namjoon himself seemed like he wasn't sure of the answer, but then he sighed with a resigned smile. "I guess I'm in too deep."
"In love!?" Jimin yelled, nearly knocking over four glasses and almost one bottle. Nearly.
Namjoon shrugged, his smile more easygoing and dimples out in full force. "Well we have been together for a year. And I'd like to meet the people that are close to him, don't get me wrong. I'm always ready to know more about hyung and the people that are important to him." He paused here to kiss Seokjin's cheek, the older having settled his head in the crook of Namjoon's neck, listening quietly. "And– I'd probably have allowed him to tell you– or just meet up?– if he had asked earlier too, I think. I mean, I certainly want us to be long term."
"Oh hyung," he continued with a disgustingly lovestruck sigh ( Taehyung could swear honey was dripping from his eyes ), "you could have told me that your friends wanted to meet me." Namjoon cut himself off with an awkward laugh, suddenly looking shy. "And I sure hope hyung is out of it right now and would forget this conversation tomorrow, because this is not the setting I had in mind for telling him this. The whole commitment thing."
Seokjin simply laughed and snuggled more into Namjoon, which wasn't really much of an answer.
There was a lull in the conversation, ending with a sigh by Namjoon. "I guess we should be going now. My driver's waiting."
He got up, carefully supporting Seokjin. Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook softly said their goodbyes, unsure what else to say. Namjoon nodded in response, moving towards the door. "I'd love to properly talk to you guys by the way, I think we can arrange a dinner next week at my or hyung's house if we're free. Oh, and Jungkook? Congrats on the promotion."
And with that he left, leaving them to stare at the door.
Jimin gave them a side eye. "So…if hyung's boyfriend actually exists, who's paying for the meal then?"