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I'm afraid

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Sometimes Miko wonders how on earth she's actually capable of being friends with someone like her.

 

She's just this plain, average girl that barely passed the qualifications for the prestigious university she's studying in now, and is constantly worrying about everything that's not important. And yet, this said friend is stunningly beautiful, smiling, full of hopes and dreams and is already a well known singer on multiple platforms. Not to mention the suitors she has that Miko couldn’t even keep count.

 

She feels like she should be jealous, but she isn't. In fact, she admires her.

 

"Hey, Miko-chi~ what are you listening to? I've been calling your name for a while now, peko."

 

Miko lets out a small shriek of surprise, and decides to entertain her dear rabbit friend who, apparently, has been standing beside her for a while now. Pekora has her eyebrow raised, Miko knows she could see through her. She clears her throat, "I was listening to Stellar Stellar, Sui-chan's new original song, before a certain someone interrupted me."

 

She turns around to face Pekora, "so what brings you here? Weren't you supposed to be hanging out with Marine and the others?" Miko gestured vaguely towards the general direction of her clique. 

 

"Well, I thought you seemed a little lonely by yourself over here in the cafeteria," Miko wishes she could wipe that smug expression off of Pekora's face. "Shut up, Usada! Who said that I’m lonely!"

 

“Anyways, it seems that you wanted some time to yourself, so I’ll just leave you to it.” Pekora turned to leave, but before she did, she turned back to Miko with a small smirk, “have fun on your date with Sui-chan, I believe in you peko!” Miko feels a blush forming before she screams at her, “we’re only going for lunch!” Pekora bursts out in laughter.

 

Miko puts her earpieces back on, blocking off any on-going conversations around her.

 

She thinks about the couples in her friend groups. Flare and Noel make a nice couple, everyone can tell that they love each other. They’re good for each other, existed for each other. They’ll probably be together for the rest of their lives and never feel alone again.

 

Unlike her.

 

Miko increased the volume of her music, shaking off any negative thoughts from her head. She has no idea where it came from, she was never the type to think like that. Suisei’s hauntingly beautiful voice, together with loud instrumentals managed to drown out any lingering thoughts of how she’ll never be good enough for someone like Suisei.

 

For a moment it works, but soon, Miko notices a familiar silhouette from the corner of her eyes. She looks up and those negative thoughts come back for a split second, it hits her like a truck, snapping her away from bliss.

 

A ball of blue came crashing down upon Miko. She took off her earpieces and screamed at her usual antics.

 

“Oi, Hoshimachi! You’re heavy, you know that?! Get off me!”

 

“Now, now Sakura, don’t you know that it’s rude to comment on a woman’s weight?”

 

“Don’t you comment on my weight too?!”

 

“Hey now, that’s only a little bit of teasing considering you eat so much sugary food.”

 

Suisei wraps her arms around her shoulder and leans practically her entire weight onto Miko, the corner of Suisei’s mouth quirks up in an easy smirk. What’s up with the smug faces around me today?! Miko grits her teeth in mild annoyance, she feels the beginnings of a blush creep up her neck at the close proximity of their faces. Miko tries to push the feeling down.

 

Suisei notices the sudden awkward silence from Miko, her face turns into one of concern and asks in a gentle voice, “hey, are you okay? You’re being much quieter than usual.” “I’m fine,” Miko answered. Perhaps she was too quick to answer, maybe Suisei is just observant like that, always looking out for others. But either way, Suisei sensed the mild distress in her voice.

 

“Miko, you know you can always talk to me right? I want to know what you’re bothered about, we’re best friends, right?”

 

Miko felt a dull sting in her heart the moment Suisei mentioned ‘best friends’, she couldn’t explain it, but the words felt…bitter. She only recently realised that her heart is constantly yearning for Suisei, wanting to be close to her, and listen to her voice all day. But she knows it simply isn’t possible, Suisei deserves someone better than a typical, normal girl who barely passes her classes.

 

“It’s nothing you need to be worried about.”

 

Miko internally cringes at how her words sounded curt, but she rolls with it. She could see Suisei’s smile falter slightly, but it's enough to make her feel uncomfortable and guilty. The light in Suisei’s eyes seems to dim and her face contorts into a more neutral expression. The sight makes Miko shiver in fear, yet it makes her heart beat faster at the same time. Miko tries to break eye contact, looking anywhere else but her.

 

“Look at me.”

 

Miko does, but she regrets it instantly. Suisei knows she’s lying. As Miko stares into Suisei’s eyes, she notes how this pair of eyes are the most beautiful things she’s seen in her life, her eyes bearing resemblance to the beauty of the night skies. 

 

The moment Miko looks into her eyes, she could almost never seem to pull her gaze away. Those eyes could pierce through her soul, it mesmerises her. She fears and loves them, how they always seem to look through her, and how they look at her like she’s worth more than she thinks she is at the same time. They’re always keen and collected. The times they’re not makes her fear for her life.

 

She feels like shrinking and disappearing into nothing.

 

“...I know you’ve been avoiding me, care to explain?”

 

Suisei’s voice snaps her back to reality, it was cold and quiet, making her muscles tense up.

 

Miko knows the answer to her question.

 

Because she was afraid that if she gets too close to Suisei, she’ll fall even more in love with her, and she can’t handle the thought of it, that she, a nobody, wants to be with a perfection that she could never ever grasp.

 

But that’s not what comes out of her mouth.

 

That can never be what she says, even if it was the truth.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about...”

 

Suisei stares directly into her eyes, Miko has never found maintaining eye contact with her to be so difficult until this moment, so she breaks away. She knows that if she were to look into her eyes any longer, she won’t be able to lie anymore. Suisei knows it too. 

 

Suisei abruptly stands up and dusts her jeans off, muttering a single word under her breath.

 

“Fine.”

 

Before she turns to leave, not once did she turn back to wave at Miko like she usually does. Miko releases a drawn out groan, knowing that she hurt Suisei. She knows that the only way to apologise and make up with Suisei is to tell her everything, so she doesn’t apologise at all.

 

She can’t tell who’s avoiding who anymore, she only knows that everyone knows, even when they try to be respectful and hide the fact that they know.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

She’s sweating. Her entire body begs her to rest. She’s still standing even though she knows she should take a drink and sit down. Miko dreads the body aches that will ensue later on, but she pushes through. She’s determined to not burden her club members during the sports festival in 2 months. She takes in the dark serene surroundings.

 

Miko feels someone watching her from behind. She knows who it is, she doesn’t bother turning around.

 

“Flare, Omarun, you came looking for me?”

 

A pause, she feels their mild bewilderment.

 

“How did you know we’re here?” Flare’s voice, from behind her, asked. Though spoken in a quiet voice, it seemed loud in the deafening silence of the stadium. It’s dark, it’s late, too late in the night for people to be here. It’s exactly why she’s here.

 

Miko shrugs, turning around, almost tripping at her own feet in the process due to her exhaustion. She’s not surprised to see 2 shadowed figures in the poorly lit stadium, the nearest light source is metres away behind her, dim and flickering. She doesn’t bother smiling. It’s dark. They won’t be able to see her anyways.

 

Polka’s hand extends out towards her, she’s handing something to her. Miko smiles when she realises it’s a towel and thanks her. Polka dismisses her thanks, and minutes later, they find themselves sitting at the second last row of the bleachers. It’s almost pitch black here, or maybe Miko’s eyesight has been getting worse, she can’t tell.

 

Miko enjoys the dark surroundings because she can't see much, it lets her mind wander. But at the same time, she despises it, because the moment she can’t see anything, Suisei seems to be the only thing that fills her vision.

 

The burning gaze of her companions beside her brings her back to reality. She could guess what they’re here for, they’re the ones she consulted when she’s finally aware of her own feelings towards a certain bluenette after all. But recently, they’ve been trying to get her to confess her feelings to Suisei.

 

“Did you tell her anything?”

 

“Only what we know.”

 

Miko’s eye twitches as she sighed for the upteenth today at the vague response from Flare. She’s not in the mood to play their games. “And what do you know?”

 

“That our dear friend is afraid of the simplest of things.”

 

Miko clenches her fists. She hopes she’s able to distract herself from her negative thoughts by ghosting her fingers across the hard frame of her bottle. Her heart pounds in fear when she hasn’t calmed down in the slightest.

 

“It’s not that simple.”

 

“You just don’t want to acknowledge that it’s simple,” Polka answers, a little too quickly, as if she has been expecting Miko to say that. She probably has. Polka is attentive like that. She’s glad that Polka is one of her closest friends.

 

“I was afraid too, you know? Noe-chan, well…” Flare lets out a fond chuckle, as if she's reminiscing about an event years ago. Miko watches her head tilt downwards, looking down at her knees. “I asked Noel out and she confessed her feelings for me on the spot, and at that moment I realised that we both felt the same way. I stopped being afraid.”

 

Miko knows it isn’t that simple, she refuses to believe so.

 

“If you asked Noel out, you must be fearless.” Miko’s back to looking at the starry night sky, it reminds her of Suisei’s eyes, how it seems to contain the entire galaxy in those beautiful dark blue orbs.

 

“No.” It was sharply spoken. Miko’s body tenses upon hearing it. She doesn’t turn to look at her, she doesn’t see the point, it’s pitch black at the bleachers, she can’t really see her. She opted to stay silent and listen. “It was one of the scariest moments of my life, our lives. I’m afraid, Miko, I still am sometimes. We all are. But we shouldn’t avoid the ones we love just because we’re afraid.”

 

“I’m not afraid.”

 

And with that, Flare lets out a quiet sigh and stands up to leave her alone. Polka lingers a few seconds longer, giving Miko a gentle pat on the shoulder and a whispered “good luck”, before turning to follow Flare. They leave Miko alone in the dark bleachers, just like how she tried to do the same with her feelings.

 

It takes Miko a minute to realise that because she never bothered to mask her expression, she let the tone of her voice match the emotion that she was feeling. They easily saw through her miserably attempted lies, while she saw through… nothing.

 

Miko doesn’t agree with Flare on being afraid. There’s no way that Flare, herself, was afraid. She always seemed calm, composed. Seemingly able to handle all sorts of situations, she has nothing to fear about.

 

She’s not afraid either, she’s just cautious.

 

However, she does agree with them on one thing; whatever’s going on between her and Suisei has to stop. She has to stop being childish, her and her dearest friends are going to suffer if she doesn’t do anything about it.

 

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Suisei groans in frustration, her friends have been teasing her non-stop for the past few days now and it’s bugging her to no end, not to mention the fact that Miko has been avoiding her as well for… whatever reason it is.

 

She briefly reflects back to her interactions with Miko to find out what she’s been doing wrong, but the voice beside her makes her feel like she’s about to pop a vein.

 

“Come on, Sui-chan. Just confess to her already, think about the ways you can seduce Miko-chi and look cool in front of her!”

 

Suisei rolls her eyes as Roboco, with her teasing smile, goes on and on about Suisei never taking the first step forward, knowing full well of each other’s romantic feelings for each other. She just wants to crawl into a hole and block out the entire world.

 

“You can play her a song with your guitar and sing her a love song or something! How romantic!” Roboco continues gushing.

 

Suisei glances towards Azki and Sora for help, and all they give is an apologetic grin. No surprise, they were part of the teasing after all. It’s as if everyone collectively had a silent agreement to torture her using her romantic feelings towards Miko.

 

“You know, it may be helpful to actually listen to Roboco’s advice for once, just saying.”

 

“Sora-chan! Not you too!”

 

“We can help get the two of you together for some alone time if you want.”

 

“Azki! You’re supposed to help me, not torture me more! You were my only hope!”

 

“Woops?”

 

They simultaneously burst out in laughter, and Suisei joins soon after. She’s been waiting for Miko to make the first move since 3 months ago when she began noticing how flustered Miko was around her, not wanting to push her boundaries. Suisei didn’t really believe it at first, figuring that she’s just seeing things, but Miko wasn’t being subtle at all. She will admit though, she’s getting a little impatient.

 

Suisei absolutely adores Miko. She loves the way Miko calls her name, her messy hair that she never bothers combing half the time, her flustered expression Suisei always manages to get out of her. Miko may be clumsy all the time, but she’s always trying her best for Suisei, whether she’s aware of it or not and that’s exactly what she loves about Miko. She finds all of Miko’s quirks endearing and oddly charismatic.

 

A small blush dusts Suisei’s cheeks as she’s stuck in her reverie. She jumps at Roboco’s voice, “god, you look like a lovesick puppy and I’m not sure if I should feel grossed out or not.” Suisei’s blush returns ten folds and she hides her face behind her hands. She wonders how Roboco manages to be her friend.

 

Sora puts her hand on her shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze, “well, seriously speaking now, it’s about time you talk to Miko about your relationship with her. We’re here for backup if you ever need us, though I doubt that you would. I believe that you’d be able to get through this yourself.”

 

Her voice is gentle and sincere, it gives Suisei a little bit of encouragement. Roboco and Azki nod in agreement. She feels fortunate to have such encouraging friends, even though they can bully her to no end at times.

 

Though, there’s another reason why she hasn’t told Miko anything yet. There’s a distant nagging feeling in her chest that’s been preventing her from spilling the truth this whole time, and it’s because—

 

“Good luck Sui-chan, you’ll need it.” Suisei gives them a genuine smile, grateful for their kindness. She thinks about how she’ll talk to Miko about this, over some coffee in her dorm perhaps? Suisei shakes her head, she’s being too paranoid. Okay Sui-chan, just play it cool , she mentally notes to herself to calm her pounding heart.

 

—she’s afraid.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Miko finds herself standing in front of the door to Suisei’s dorm after her lectures for today, anxious. With trembling hands, she knocks on the door. The door swings open after some muffled rustling in Suisei’s dorm room. “Oh hey Miko, come in!” Suisei opens her door wider and side steps to let her enter, and they both take a seat on Suisei’s bed.

 

Miko takes a look around Suisei’s room, it’s extremely tidy besides her desk which is littered with research materials, homework and amongst other things probably too difficult for Miko to understand. Miko turns her head back to Suisei and catches Suisei staring at her. Her breath hitches in her throat.

 

“Sui-chan-”

 

“Miko-chi-”

 

Both of them paused and blinked at each other, realising that they spoke at the same time. Before Miko has the chance to say anything else, Suisei opens her mouth first, “uh… you can go first.”

 

Miko brings her hands to her back, she decides to cut to the chase. “Sui-chan, I’m sorry… about the other day, I should’ve told you-”

 

“It’s okay, you weren’t ready to tell me-”

 

“But-”

 

“I pushed you.” Miko freezes. Suisei turns her body to face Miko. Her expression was soft, and the fact that Miko has fallen completely in love with her hits her harder than it should have. “Miko, I’m sorry. I know it has something to do with me and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong-”

 

“Nothing.” Miko cuts her off, closing the distance, putting her hands on her shoulders. “Sui-chan, it’s me, not you. I’m just going through some stuff right now.”

 

“Then let me help you.”

 

“You are helping.”

 

She is, in a way. 

 

Suisei makes her think of all sorts of things she’s never thought of before. She makes her want things she’s never wanted before.

 

But she reminds Miko to stay in reality, to be her fullest, best self. She’s helped her in a way no one has before. And maybe that’s another reason why she loves Suisei.

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Suisei touches her hands, the tips of her fingers, rough and calloused from practicing the acoustic guitar, meets Miko’s smooth knuckles. Miko wants to move away, but she can’t. Suisei shouldn’t be touching her, she’s too perfect for Miko to be touching her.

 

Suisei smiles, and Miko doesn’t want to do anything but stare at her for the rest of the day. Miko loves the faint dimples that form whenever Suisei smiles. She loves how special her smile is, she wishes it was reserved only for her alone.

 

Suisei leans forward, closing the remaining distance between them. Miko’s lips feel something warm and soft, then nothing. It feels pleasant. She doesn’t know what just happened, and she’s sure she doesn’t want to know either.

 

Suisei’s hand slides down across her arm, coaxing her to let go of her shoulder and grab onto her cold hands instead.

 

Miko has never seen her in such a vulnerable light before.

 

And suddenly, things are different now.

 

She’s more affectionate with Miko. She touches her more. Little touches; a bump on her shoulder; a brief hold to her hand or wrist.

 

It drives Miko insane.

 

She loves it. She hates that she loves it. She can’t stop herself from loving it, and it only gets worse the next time they’re left alone.

 

This time, Suisei came for a sleepover in Miko’s dorm.

 

It’s night time. Miko’s still awake, she couldn’t sleep, deciding to take a drink from the mini-refrigerator she has beside her desk. She sneaks a glance towards Suisei’s relaxed face, she’s still asleep and Miko doesn’t want to wake her up.

 

She quickly notes that it’s about 2am before quietly slipping out of her dorm, drink in hand and still in her oversized T-shirt, and heads to the rooftop. 

 

It’s a little chilly tonight, Miko wishes she brought her jacket with her, but she ignores the coldness. She looks out to the city, she enjoys the ambience of the quiet environment besides the occasional chirping of crickets. The night sky is painted with countless stars. Miko smiles, and she’s reminded of how the stars make her smile like how Suisei does.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

Miko jumps in surprise. She turns her head around and immediately regrets her decision. Suisei has her hair tied up into a ponytail. She’s wearing a navy blue tank top and a pale blue jacket, she’s wearing her black skinny jeans as well. The night skies only serve to enhance Suisei’s most attractive feature – her eyes – which seems to emit a low dark blue glow. Miko could see the reflection of the stars in her eyes, and… she forgets how to breathe for a second.

 

“Haven’t I told you not to scare me like that?” Miko whines, a pout forming on her adorable face. Suisei doesn’t respond, she just smiles at her.

 

Her guard is down, she’s afraid.

 

“And to answer your question, well… it’s nothing, I just couldn’t sleep and wanted to come up here for a breather. How’d you know I’m here?”

 

Suisei gives her a lazy shrug, “just a feeling. I realised you weren’t there when I woke up and—”

 

She walks towards Miko and drapes a warm blanket around Miko’s shoulders.

 

“—I figured you forgot to bring a jacket with you.” Suisei gives her an amused chuckle as her face burns in embarrassment. Miko looks away, muttering under her breath, “...thanks.”

 

Both of them lean on the railings of the rooftop, Miko forces herself to look anywhere but Suisei. She knows Suisei is looking at her, and she hopes she’ll finally set her eyes on something else.

 

Four beats. She doesn’t look away.

 

Miko’s entire body freezes when she feels delicate fingers hover over her cheek. Her heart hammers in her chest at how gentle the touch is. It travels down her chin, then tilts it, she’s unable to show resistance. She finds herself facing Suisei.

 

She slowly leans towards Miko, her eyes flicking between her lips and meeting her eyes. Miko’s mind replays memories of what happened a few days ago, of what she didn’t believe had happened. She flinches, stepping backwards to create a small distance, she starts breathing heavily.

 

“Miko…?”

 

“I- I’m sorry, Sui-chan. I can’t- I…” Miko stumbles over her words.

 

Suisei looks concerned. Miko hates how worried she is. She hates how worried Suisei is over her. Her, of all people in the world.

 

Suisei reaches out for her arms. Miko tries to run away from it, but Suisei manages to grab onto her arm firmly before she even gets to. Miko knows she can’t outrun or overpower her, Suisei has her wrapped around her finger and both of them know it.

 

Suisei tugs on Miko’s arm with little force, and she lets her body fall into Suisei’s arms, Miko’s face burying directly into her collarbones. Suisei wraps her strong arms around her waist in a hug, and Miko finally allows herself to relax, breathing in Suisei’s comforting scent.

 

They stay in that position for a few minutes, Suisei lets Miko gather her thoughts, as she patiently waits. She’s prepared to wait for her from the beginning.

 

“God, I… I was so, so afraid…” Miko’s voice cracks, words that only Suisei is allowed to hear. It feels good to say it, to let it out to Suisei, to let the tears fall.

 

“Me too.” A pause. “You’re going to be alright, Miko-chi.” Suisei says soothingly.

 

Miko lets out a painful chuckle.

 

“I’m afraid of you.”

 

It feels good to say that.

 

Miko senses the confusion on Suisei’s face.

 

“I’m in love with you, Sui-chan,” she says with a smile comparable to a wince instead. She’s surprised that she let it out just like that, as if she’s thinking of what to eat for dinner. “I’m afraid because… I’m simply inferior to you, I’m a nobody, you deserve someone better than an average girl who barely passes her classes.” 

 

Miko takes a breath before continuing, “I shouldn’t burden you, you already have a future planned out, you’re a successful singer. What am I when compared to someone as perfect as you?”

 

Suisei stays silent for a moment, she brings her hand up to tuck the loose strand of hair behind Miko’s ear. “...I’m a normal person too, you know? We all start somewhere, we’re not successful the moment we step into this world. We have to work hard to achieve our dreams, it’s not just spoon fed to us. That’s what makes us human, is it not?”

 

Her hands enclose around Miko’s, “and don’t sell yourself short like that. Didn’t you notice?” She guides Miko’s palm to her chest, right above where her heart is. “You’re the only one who makes my heart pound like this. You’re the only one who I look at as if my life depends on it.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “I’m completely smitten with you and I know you're in love with me too, does anything else really matter besides that?”

 

She’s right, Miko realises. Her heartbeat is quick, her gaze is always soft and loving. Miko feels stupid now, for thinking that she’s not good enough for Suisei.

 

And just like that, Suisei erases every doubt, every self-conscious thoughts that plague her mind.

 

She’s content.

 

“Let’s go back to your room.”

 

------------------------Smut warning!------------------------

At first, Miko thought Suisei was tired, it is pretty late into the night after all. However, it turns out that Suisei had other ideas as she pinned Miko onto the bed the moment she locked the door.

 

Their faces lean closer and closer together, Miko’s arms instinctively move to wrap around Suisei’s neck. She’s not sure who closes the gap between them, she’s only aware of the pair of lips against her own. Miko doesn’t freeze up this time. She responds, she moves her lips against Suisei’s. They pour their previously restrained emotions and raw desire for each other into their kisses.

 

Miko feels something warm and wet brushing against her lips. She barely registers that Suisei is silently asking for permission to enter her mouth, to which she immediately lets her in.

 

The moment her mouth is open, Suisei instantly wraps her tongue around hers. Miko whimpers in pleasure and starts squirming, she briefly wonders how she got so good at kissing. Suisei began exploring every corner of her mouth as the kiss started to become more and more sloppy. A trail of saliva began to roll down to Miko’s chin.

 

However, Suisei pulls away, a serious expression plastered on her face, “Miko, before I go any further… can I really touch you? I don’t want you to regret anything the next day.”

 

Miko’s expression immediately softened, the uneasiness in Suisei’s voice made Miko wonder if her consent and desire for her hadn't already been made clear from quite literally moments ago. Her eyes crinkled as the corner of her lips quirks up ever so slightly. Suisei waits for her reassurance while Miko stays silent for a few seconds longer.

 

“Miko?” Suisei asks again.

 

Instead of answering her question, Miko takes Suisei’s slender hands and examines it for a moment, before placing her palm against her cheek like a kitten asking for scratches. Miko’s cheeks feel soft against Suisei’s hand as she runs her thumb across Miko’s cheeks. Suisei was about to pull away until Miko directed her hand lower, which now rests on her right breast.

 

All Suisei can feel is her face heating up and the incredibly soft mound in her palm.  Miko’s eyes stare deeply into Suisei’s, lips brushing against each other’s, their breaths intermingling. Suisei opens her mouth to say something but Miko beats her to it.

 

“You may touch me however you please, honey.”

 

With her consent made clear, Suisei instantly comes back down upon Miko’s neck, licking and sucking at every inch of skin that her tongue comes into contact with. She moves towards the area just below the ear and nips on the soft flesh there. Miko digs her fingers into Suisei’s tank top and she moans directly into her ear, pressing her front fully into Suisei and loops her legs around her waist.

 

Miko pulls Suisei’s head up to meet her lips again. The hands resting at her waist slips under her shirt, roaming across and gently caressing the slim figure of her body. Suisei lightly drags her nails along Miko’s spine, feeling the rising goosebumps as she goes along. When fingers brushed across her navel, she subconsciously thrusts her hips upwards, letting out a moan.

 

Miko yelps in surprise as Suisei drives her right knee up against Miko’s arousal. Suisei could feel a wet spot between Miko’s legs and she gave her a low chuckle. Miko shivered in ecstasy at her deep voice.

 

“Just relax.” Suisei uses her deep, husky voice, it sounds similar to a cat’s rumble this time, sending electricity down her body. She finally dips her fingers below Miko’s shorts and panties. Miko gasps in delight, feeling fingertips rubbing against her clit, before circling her labia and repeating the cycle. Miko was getting impatient.

 

Miko pleads for Suisei to stop teasing her and she finally heeds her demands, entering Miko slowly with a finger and stops halfway. Suisei searches for any signs of discomfort, waiting for Miko to calm down a little to give her a proper response. “Sui-chan, please… I need you.” Miko whispers desperately, looking into Suisei’s eyes filled with lust. This seems to trigger something within Suisei as she wasted no time in discarding Miko’s clothes, leaving her bare as the day she was born.

 

Suisei wets her lips with her tongue, as she spreads Miko’s legs apart, her glistening wet heat exposed only for Suisei to look at. The moon shines through the window beside the bed. Suisei is able to see the hypnotised gaze of her partner, the sweat that rolls down her spotless body, save for the multiple hickies she gave Miko.

 

She feels a sense of pride at the fact that she was the one who reduced Miko into a panting mess. She wants to see her get utterly destroyed and listen to every noise she has to offer. Suisei has decided that she wants to make Miko come as fast as she can. 

 

She leans back down, her right hand immediately getting to work by inserting 2 fingers into Miko, her thumb aiming directly for her clit. Suisei thrusts her fingers in a steady rhythm. Her face right above Miko’s, eager to watch her crumble beneath her.

 

Miko grips onto her neck and tank top in desperation, she can’t help but think about how hot Suisei is when she’s dominating her. It only served to grow the undeniable yearning Miko has between her legs.

 

Suisei’s left hand targets Miko’s breasts, pinching her nipple and rubbing them between her fingers, the calluses creating more friction. She breaks her eye contact with Miko to wrap her lips on the other nipple, her teeth grazing against the peak every so slightly. It sends Miko reeling for more, it feels good - everything feels good - and she knows it won’t be long before Suisei sends her careening right over the edge.

 

At this point, Miko was practically screaming Suisei’s name, she grinds in rhythm to Suisei’s fingering, meeting her fingers with every thrust. The pleasure is overwhelming, she feels a coil of tension tightening within her. Her abdomen clenches, her heart beats faster. Miko realises that she’s close to her climax. “Sui-chan, I… please let me come…”

 

Suisei moves to face Miko again, her pupils dilated in pure lust. She doesn’t answer as she doubles her efforts. Suisei leans closer to Miko’s face, as her fingers start to plunge deeper and faster into Miko, her thumb putting more pressure onto her clit.

 

Miko forces her eyes shut as she finally comes onto Suisei’s hand, overwhelming euphoria hits her hard enough that she forgets how to breathe, a sinful moan rips out of her throat that slowly turns into a whimper. Suisei doesn’t seem to be stopping or slowing down at all. “Wait, Sui-chan… s-stop, it’s too much…” Miko manages to gasp out with her hoarse voice, but she doesn’t push Suisei away.

 

She’s unable to stop shivering as Suisei drags out her orgasm for as long as possible, she lets out a guttural moan when the fingers inside of her curls upwards and spreads her wider. Miko rolls her head backwards into the pillow. Her walls clenched almost painfully around Suisei’s digits and she came again, and again. Miko looks up at her face and she begins to think that she’s in for more than she thought she would be.

 

The easy smile Suisei had before was gone, and instead was replaced by a sadistic smirk. She almost looks… animalistic.

 

“You asked me to let you come, right?”

 

She leaned over to the shell of Miko’s ear, her warm breath tickling her neck.

 

“So, you’ll keep coming for me.”

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Suisei’s the first one to wake up the next morning. She’s holding onto Miko’s waist from behind, their legs are intertwined. Her partner’s lack of clothing reminds her of last night’s events. She holds Miko closer to her and snuggles her face deeper into the back of Miko’s neck, breathing in her comforting scent. She immerses herself in the warmth of the blankets and her partner.

 

Suisei studies the bite marks and hickies she left on Miko’s body like she’s a glorious work of art, while her fingers trace random patterns on Miko’s abdomen. She mulls over whether she went too rough on Miko or not, a pang of guilt stabs through her heart at the thought. She’d never wanted to hurt her, even if it was in the heat of the moment with Miko’s consent.

 

She reluctantly peels herself away from the warmth of her girlfriend to freshen herself up to start her day. She decides to buy some breakfast and make some coffee for the both of them first before thinking about what they should do for the rest of the weekend. Maybe I can bring her out today for a date as an apology and get her some taiyaki…

 

She puts on a plain black hoodie and sweatpants, grabs her phone and heads towards the cafeteria located next to the dormitories. Suisei strolls to the cafeteria at a leisurely pace, staring at her schedule for the month.

 

Lucky for her, she’s pretty much free for the most part. On busier seasons, Suisei barely even has time to catch a cat nap amidst studying for tests and working on releasing covers and songs. Thankfully, she doesn’t make public appearances and chooses to operate under an alias, which means that her schedule is generally much less packed than an average well-known singer/songwriter.

 

The cafeteria is generally empty in the mornings, Suisei takes her time in choosing something for breakfast, unbeknownst to her, someone is standing right behind her. The figure reaches their hands out towards Suisei. The moment the hand comes into contact with her shoulder, she lets out a small shriek, spinning around to see… Roboco?

 

Roboco looks exhausted, she looks like she just died and got brought back to life repeatedly 5 times over. “Roboco, are you… okay?” Suisei almost failed to even recognise her own friend.

 

Roboco opens her mouth to respond, but a yawn comes out of her mouth before she makes a noise, “I’ve definitely seen better days…” then, she turns to glare at Suisei, who subconsciously gulps in fear. “Sui-chan, I gotta say, congratulations on finally getting together with Miko-chi, but couldn’t the both of you have at least kept it down a little last night?”

 

Suisei’s face instantly lights up in embarrassment. She’d completely forgotten that the walls aren’t exactly soundproof in the dormitories, and Roboco just so happens to stay in the room next to Miko. “I, uh… I apologise?” She gives her a nervous giggle. “Oh wow! Look at the time! I have to buy Miko and myself some breakfast before she wakes up, see you around Roboco!” Before the girl in question even gets to croak out a word, Suisei turns towards the nearest stall and books it, hurriedly asking to take away some sandwiches and paying for them. Thank goodness I work out regularly.  

 

Suisei miraculously makes it back to Miko’s dorm in a record time of about 2 minutes without breaking a sweat. She carefully opens the door to see Miko still in bed, sleeping away peacefully, and she breaks out a fond smile at the sight.

 

She moves quietly and places 2 boxes of sandwiches on the coffee table, before boiling some water to make coffee. While waiting for the water to boil, she helps to clean up the room after the absolute mess they’ve made last night and– how did a shirt get under the fridge anyways?!

 

Suisei finds the mundane tasks satisfying and serene. She finishes up the clean up rather quickly and finishes preparing Miko’s coffee first, 2 cream and 3 sugars, while her own coffee is unsweetened. Suisei lets her mind zone out during the process.

 

“You don’t like coffee, you like sugar.” Suisei grimaces as she watches Miko put teaspoon after teaspoon of sugar and creamer.

 

“You’re as bitter as the coffee you drink, no wonder you like them unsweetened.” Miko retaliates, sticking her tongue out at Suisei who, in turn, scowls at her.

 

Polka manages to pull them apart before Suisei attempts to strangle Miko. “Can’t you guys sit one second together without looking like you’re about to eat each other’s faces and plunge a knife into each other’s throats at the same time?”

 

Suisei and Miko collectively snap their heads towards Polka, who immediately regrets all life decisions the second their narrowed eyes fall onto her. “H-Hey now guys, e-easy… we’re friends right?” All the while, Flare watches them in amusement while slowly sipping away at her drink, she feels like she’s babysitting a bunch of kindergarteners in a daycare.

 

Well, she guesses it’s not too far from the truth.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Miko wakes up to the sound of a familiar voice, her lower body is aching like no tomorrow, her legs are out of commission for today, but it feels strangely pleasant. She slowly opens her eyes to see her girlfriend’s face hovering above her own. Miko tugs on Suisei’s shirt, bringing Suisei’s face down to give her an innocent peck on the lips, “mmh… good morning, Sui-chan.” 

 

Miko watches as Suisei’s face starts burning red, ironic considering their activities last night compared to this small act of affection. Suisei barely manages to stammer out a reply, “g-good morning.” Suisei is quick to pull away, leaving Miko just a little disappointed. Before she’s able to pull Suisei back into bed though, a packaged sandwich is tossed into her face.

 

“Hey-”

 

“Go take a shower and brush your teeth. I bought some breakfast for us, I made some coffee for you too.”

 

“Oh… thanks…” Miko mumbled out a surprisingly coherent reply considering she literally just woke up. She rises into a sitting position and stretches her arms above her head. The blanket covering her bare body slips down onto her lap. Miko looks back to Suisei and sees her ogling her, a blush creeping up Suisei’s neck in the process.

 

Miko is suddenly hyper aware of her lack of clothing and rushes to pull the blanket up to cover her chest. “Oi, Hoshimachi! Stop ogling my body and get me my clothes, god damn it!” “R-Right!” In less than 10 seconds, a set of fresh clothing is thrown into Miko’s lap and she swiftly puts them on.

 

The rest of the morning goes by, not much happened besides Miko poking fun into Suisei about when she became such a major pervert. While having their breakfast though, Suisei’s face slowly slips into a solemn one, before Miko voices her concerns, Suisei speaks in a low tone. Her tone sounds guilty, “Miko-chi, I was too rough on you last night wasn’t I? I’m sorry… I never wanted to hurt you.” Her eyes flicked to the hickies she left on Miko’s neck.

 

Miko moves to sit beside Suisei, giving her a chaste kiss on her temple, “I gave you my consent, didn’t I? Besides, I really enjoyed it, in fact...” A blush makes its way towards Miko’s face, fingers trail down from Suisei’s jaw to her collarbones, “...I was far from innocent too, if you haven’t noticed yet.” Suisei shuddered, feeling the forming bruise Miko left on her.

 

Miko wonders if she’s actually more masochistic than she thought she was, considering how unimaginably turned on she was last night.

 

Suisei’s arms swiftly wrap around Miko’s shoulders who, just as quickly, reciprocate the embrace. They simply enjoyed each other’s presence, Suisei never wanted to let go. “Ah, I just remembered.” Suisei speaks amidst the comfortable silence, Miko hums in reply. She’s too relaxed to give a proper response.

 

“How about a date with me today? My treat.”

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Since then, Suisei looks increasingly beautiful each time Miko looks at her. She began tripping all over herself just to see Suisei smile. Miko knows that she feels the same, if the lingering touches, the tender smiles, and the gaze on her from across the crowded hallways, indicates anything.

 

But maybe she was wrong.

 

Miko knows she shouldn’t feel this way, she knows that Suisei’s heart belongs with her as well, but the way Toko puts her hands on Suisei’s arm made her eyes flicker down at the contact. Her eyes harden, filling with a look that looks like she’s about to murder someone. Maybe Miko is so in love with her that her mind conjured up scenarios of Suisei flirting with Toko.

 

Suisei and Toko are close friends, close enough that Miko begins to doubt her relationship with Suisei sometimes. They’re smiling and laughing together, for god’s sake. Even though they are already in a relationship, Suisei has always been a private person. It would make sense for her to not share about her previous and current relationships.

 

The thought of Suisei being with anyone else that isn’t her makes her sick to the stomach.

 

Seeing Suisei laugh again, Miko averted her gaze. It's getting too painful to watch. She wanted to scream into her pillow so badly. Instead, she took deep breaths to calm herself. She can’t help but compare herself to Toko.

 

Suisei and Toko have been great friends since they were pretty young, they have the same interests, have a talent for singing, and always seem to be on the same page. While Miko had only become close to Suisei after meeting each other in university.

 

Why did she feel like competing with Toko anyways? She already admitted her feelings to Suisei, which the latter told her that she reciprocated her feelings on the rooftop. Does Miko not trust her? No, of course she does. The only person she doesn’t trust right now is herself.

 

Miko silently groans in frustration, lost in her personal turmoil. She’s just being ridiculous getting tangled up in these confusing feelings of hers. She decides to trap them deep in her heart, even if it means eating away at her mentally, there’s no way she’s voicing them out to Suisei.

 

Too deep in her own misery, she didn’t even notice Suisei looking at her.

 

“My, my, is our dear Miko upset? Perhaps it’s because of your girlfriend talking with her friend?” A voice spoke out, but to her ears, it sounded grating. Miko fought the urge to punch the shit-eating grin out of Polka’s face and tried to ignore her. “You look so miserable when Sui-chan is talking with-”

 

“Omarun, if you don't zip it, I will strangle you.”

 

Miko’s last thoughts before her massive headache was God, just help me already.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Miko opens the door to see Suisei standing at her doorstep that night, she’s reminded of the possibility that Suisei may be seeing someone else again. “Hey, may I come in?” Suisei asks, Miko was about to reject her and slam the door on her face but decides against it. Miko looks away and mumbles under her breath, “yeah, come in.” But before she steps to the side to let Suisei in, she has already walked through the door. Their faces are centimeters apart and the height difference between them becomes more prominent as Suisei practically overtowers her.

 

Miko clears her throat and steps backwards to create more space between them, “um, do you need anything?” Suisei searches her eyes for anything that may reveal her distress, “no, it’s nothing, I bought you milk tea.” She says with a smile.

 

Goodness gracious, how is Miko supposed to continue wallowing in her jealousy and move on like this?

 

“T-Thanks,” Miko chokes out, “well? If that’s all, then I would like to return to my work.” She lied. There’s no work to be done, the last of her work has already been submitted, her desk is completely empty. Miko curses at herself internally for making up such a weak excuse.

 

Suisei doesn’t budge. Instead, she sits down on Miko’s bed, pulling Miko onto her lap and looking at her with those tender, blue eyes that she grew to love so much. “You seem… off today, are you alright?” Suisei asked, her face full of concern.

 

“Must be your imagination.” Miko played dumb while drinking away at her milk tea, she really doesn’t want Suisei finding out that she’s upset over such a trivial thing.

 

Suisei frowns, “are you sure? I saw you glaring at me and Toko earlier, did we do something that made you upset?” Miko doesn’t know if she should be happy or upset with Suisei for her attentiveness towards her.

 

Suisei sighs, she looks… disappointed. Miko feels her heart break, that was the last thing Miko wanted to do, disappoint the love of her life. The disappointed expression was quickly replaced by tenderness, “I know you’re lying Miko, lying isn’t your forte. So, really now, what’s the matter?” 

 

“What’s your relationship with Toko?” Miko is absolutely mortified, but she’s reached this point anyways, she decides that it’s best to just spill it all out. 

 

“My… relationship with Toko? Why would you-” then, it was like something clicked inside Suisei’s head. Miko forces her eyes shut, getting ready for the inevitable teasing from her girlfriend, but it never comes.

 

There’s a strange glint in Suisei’s eyes, “Miko, honey, you know that you’re the one I love, right? Do you not trust me?” Suisei asks calmly. For a question like that, she doesn’t seem upset or downcast at all. In fact, her tone is understanding, expectant. Suisei places her hand on top of hers and squeezes it. Miko’s face burns in embarrassment.

 

“Of course I do, it’s just… I’m afraid that I’m not good enough for you, and Toko seems like a better match with you and…  ugh, forget it, it’s just my heart playing tricks on me again.” Miko tries to calm the raging chaos in her mind and her heart.

 

Unexpectedly, Suisei starts laughing quietly at the internal anxiety she’s having, Miko can’t tell if she should be offended or not. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I didn’t want to reveal anything until Toko decides to make it public, but she’s actually seeing someone else from her university. So, we’re just friends.” 

 

Miko bumps her head onto Suisei’s shoulder, trying to hide her embarrassment which came back impossibly stronger than before. She feels like she’s about to combust, but at the same time, a sense of relief washes over her. Suisei tilts her head up to press a kiss on her lips.

 

They pull away after a while, leaning their foreheads against each other.

 

“Are you still afraid now?” The playfulness in her voice makes Miko smile. She knows that Suisei isn’t only referring to the jealousy she felt. “Yeah, and I'll always be afraid,” Miko continues, “but at least I know you’ll be there with me and vice versa.” The both of them stay silent for a moment.

 

“Next time,” Suisei teases, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “don’t be so jealous.” It seems that she’s back to her playful self again.

 

“I can’t exactly help it when you have like 10 thousand suitors asking for your hand in marriage!” Miko retorts, turning her head away from her, the beginnings of a pout forming on her face.

 

Suisei lets out a small sigh. She lifts up her hand to Miko’s face and caresses her jaw delicately, her fingers are cold against Miko’s warm skin. “I adore you, Miko-chi,” the tenderness in her voice makes Miko’s heart swell. Her breath catches in her throat.

 

Suisei leans closer to her face to pepper kisses on her nose and the corner of her mouth. She pulls away and grabs onto Miko’s hand to intertwine them. “I assume you’re fine now?” Miko takes a deep breath and exhales, “yes, much better now. Thank you.”

 

“Of course, anything for you.” Suisei responds with a soft smile. Miko knows she means it, she knows that Suisei is willing to climb mountains and swim across oceans just for her. Miko wishes to do the same for her too.

 

Suisei moves into a more comfortable position, with Miko still on her lap, until her back is leaning against the headboard. They cuddle together under the blanket, listening to the sound of each other’s breathing. The silence is broken minutes later when Suisei starts singing in a soft, soothing voice.

 

Miko recognises the song, it’s one of Suisei’s original songs she released recently, Andromeda. She admires Suisei’s talent for singing, the slow pace of the song lets her vocal prowess shine more than others. In this close proximity, she’s able to hear every note clearly, the vibrations on Suisei’s chest when she sings, the small, nearly unnoticeable mistakes Suisei makes.

 

Miko lets Suisei’s gentle voice lull her to sleep, “Sui-chan, I love you,” she mumbles sleepily before she drifts off.

 

Suisei stays silent for a few moments longer, confirming that Miko has, indeed, fallen asleep before whispering in her ear. She doesn’t mind if Miko won’t be able to hear it, she knows that Miko is aware that she feels the same either way.

 

So, in the dead of night, under warm blankets, and surrounded by tranquility, Suisei whispers her confession.

 

“I love you too.”

 

------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, you guys think I’ll get together with someone soon?” Polka, Noel and Flare trail behind Suisei and Miko, watching the couple right in front of them. And much to their relief, the couple are actually fun to be around with, without feeling like a third wheeler. It’s been a few years since they started dating, Suisei even planned to propose to Miko today, and the 3 of them are just there to assist Suisei and hope that they don’t do anything dumb.

 

Flare pauses to think about Polka’s question, “nah, I don’t think so, there’s simply no way.” It was an honest answer, too brutally honest, in fact. “Damn, way to crush my dreams like that. Oh, woe is me…” Polka clutches onto her chest, feigning an overly exaggerated heartbreak coupled with some sniffles.

 

“You’re being dramatic.”

 

“You’re not being dramatic enough.”

 

“Okay then, I think you’re going to date someone soon enough.”

 

 Polka crinkles her nose at Flare’s blatantly obvious lies, “yeah no, keep being honest with me.” Noel chuckles in amusement beside Flare. Despite complaining about how she’s the only person who’s still single in this group, she’s content. She’s just happy that her friends are in healthy relationships. 

 

Polka brings her arms to the back of her head and leans against them. She slows down her pace to watch her friends, she can see that their bonds are stronger than before. They don’t need to show affection in public for people to know that they’re couples, the smiles on their faces reserved only for their partners shows it all.

 

Polka watches as Miko tries to do something dumb together with Suisei again which most likely requires her to clean up their mess.

 

These damn couples, I swear.