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An Acidly Problem

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The Doctor made his way towards Mr Finch's office through the hallways of the dark school. 

Hopefully, he'd find something there that could help solve the mystery surrounding the school.

As he was walking, he became aware of a familiar tingling in his lower body, making him frown slightly.

Maybe he should've used the toilet before leaving.

Oh well, it was too late now. They weren't going to be here long anyway.

It would be f-

The Doctor got startled out of his thoughts by a sound coming from the sports hall, where he had parked the TARDIS.


They had made their way towards a chippie a few streets down from the school. Where he proceeded to start fixing K9, while Sarah Jane, who they had met while investigating the school, was watching him.

The Time Lord shifted his weight slightly, painfully aware of his full bladder.

The TARDIS was still in the high school, where they couldn’t access her for the time being because of the bat-like creatures that he still needed to identify.

At least that’s what the others thought, and he had no choice but to agree with that. 

So until that mystery was solved, the TARDIS was out. 

That left him with a bit of an issue.

He needed the TARDIS to be able to take care of his complaining bladder. He couldn’t safely pee on Earth. 

Actually, he couldn’t on many planets, Earth just being one of them.

His biochemistry was quite different from humans, despite him looking just like them on the outside. As a result of this, his urine was also different from humans. 

It wasn’t something the humans ever even thought about. After all, why would they?

On the other hand, he was hyper-aware of the difference. Because the difference made his urine toxic for most other species. It was a strong, biting acid that could burn through most materials of Earth with ease. It wasn’t something that could be found natively on Earth, and it definitely was something that should not be let loose on the planet. If he peed at the wrong place, he could end up creating a hole straight through to the other side.

And well, that wasn’t exactly desirable.

This left him with an issue regarding relieving himself. While he could hold it much longer than a human, the limitation on where he could go did cause him some issues.

Like, for example, right now.

The TARDIS would probably be off-limits until at the very least the next morning when they went back to the school. Meaning he was going to have to hold throughout the night.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t do that, it just wasn’t very comfortable.

It was one of those things he kinda hated from travelling, he often ended up having to hold his bladder because there wasn’t a suitable place for him to go.

But it was a price he was willing to pay in order to experience all the universe had to offer.


The Doctor let out a deep breath in boredom as he lay on Sarah Jane’s couch. With the TARDIS out of reach, Sarah Jane had offered to put them up for the night. Which they all appreciated.

Rose and Mickey shared Sarah Jane’s spare room, while he had been assigned to the couch. That was fine, the humans needed sleep more than him, anyway.

In fact, there was no way he was actually going to sleep at all. He had never been very comfortable sleeping outside the TARDIS. There wasn’t a safer place than the TARDIS, when he was outside her, he felt like something could happen to him any moment. When he was asleep, he couldn’t keep an eye out for anything that was a threat.

That didn’t mean he never slept outside his ship. Sometimes he didn’t have a choice. Contrary to popular belief, he did need to sleep every now and then.

Honestly, he was a bit tired. It had been a few days since he had last slept, and the past days had been quite intense.

But there was no way he was going to be able to sleep here.

Nothing against the couch he had been given, it was quite a comfortable couch. He had experienced many worse beds during his travels.

Despite this, he was quite uncomfortable. With his bladder as full as it was, he was not going to be falling asleep that night.

The Time Lord sat up, looking around the room. “K9?” He shouted out in a whisper.

“Master!” The Doctor winced at the loud dog.

“Shh, activate whisper mode.” He instructed K9.

 “Yes, Master. Whisper mode activate.” The metal dog answered back in a whisper as requested.

The Time Lord smiled. “Good dog.” He shifted his weight slightly, leaning forward towards the dog. “Soooo… say I need to pee but the TARDIS is out of reach. What are my options?” He asked the dog, not expecting a useful answer.

But it couldn’t hurt to try, could it?

“Hold it, master.”

He sighed. “What if I really need the toilet?”

“Hold it, master.”

“What if I can’t hold it?”

“Hold it, master.”

“Of course, thank you, K9.”


“I need to go and get the TARDIS from the building.” He said, releasing Sarah Jane from his arms. Turning back towards the school. Hiding a grimace, as his bladder pounded in complaint at the movement. “Before the authorities get here.”

Sarah Jane nodded, wiping her tears.

“There’s a park not far from here, Rose’ll know where it is. I’ll take her there, wait for me there.” He instructed, looking at all his three human companions.

With that, he turned one more time towards the building, making his way towards it.

Getting inside was easy enough. No one was paying attention to him, after all.

Climbing over the rubble inside was incredibly uncomfortable for his overfull bladder. Moving his hand between his legs, he applied a little pressure, helping him hold his urine.

He was almost there, then he could use the toilet inside the ship. He had to hold it in. It wouldn’t do to damage Earth. That’d be a nightmare to fix. 

It was a bit hard to manoeuvre through the destroyed school, especially with the pressure currently residing in his lower abdomen.

He managed to make it to the sports hall he had parked the TARDIS without any incident. Aside from his bladder contracting in need.

Rassilon, he was cutting it a bit close.

Something that rarely happened, he normally planned his bathroom breaks better because he absolutely couldn’t afford to lose control outside the TARDIS.

He quickly crossed the hall towards the TARDIS, searching his pockets for the key. The Time Lord danced slightly on the spot as he rummaged through his pockets, trying to soothe his very uncomfortable bladder.

He had to piss so badly! 

He wasn’t sure if he could remember ever needing to go this badly. Hissing slightly, he quickly grabbed himself, desperately trying to prevent a leak from escaping him.

He was still on Earth! He couldn’t pee yet.

Finally, finding his key, he quickly unlocked the door and stepped inside. Slamming the door behind him before tearing down the hallway, straight towards the first loo his magnificent ship offered.

Bursting into the bathroom, he quickly moved in front of the toilet, fumbling with his fastenings. Struggling to hold in the ocean he was holding in his bladder. 

Managing to yank his zipper down, he quickly freed himself from his trousers. Pee shot out of him before he could properly align himself with the toilet, spraying a little.

The Time Lord let out a small moan as his bladder finally started emptying.

Rassilon, he had needed that.

After what felt like forever, his stream slowed down to a dribble and then stopped.

Sighing in relief, he shook himself dry before rearranging his clothes, before he made his way out of the room towards the console room.

He needed to get k9’s remains and then put the TARDIS in the park as he had promised.