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Linked Universe Talent Show

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The heroes were done setting up their camp, and were crowding around the warm fire they had built. The sun was just starting to set, and the wonderful smell of Wild’s cooking filled the autumn air. “I’m bored.” Wind was the first to speak up, complaining of not doing anything. “We should say cool things about ourselves or talk about stuff we’ve done to pass the time until dinner!!” He had a wide, goofy grin on his face as if that was the best thing he had ever come up with. The entire group sighed, but complied to keep Wind from complaining. It wouldn’t be long until dinner would be ready anyways, and honestly it did sound like a fun idea to most of the boys.

“I’ll go first.” Wind started, standing up for dramatic effect. Then he proudly announced, “I haven’t brushed my hair in four months.” Everyone looked at the sailor in shock. “FOUR MONTHS?!” They screeched. Hyrule had already grabbed a hairbrush, holding it towards Wind threateningly, ready to attack the youngster. So that’s how his hair looked so fluffy. The outer part was mostly untangled, but it was deceiving. Underneath the thin neat layer was chaos, matted hair sticking every which way. How nobody noticed this, only hylia knows. Wind ran from an armed Hyrule while the others simply sat there in shock, taking in this information. Four months..? Absolutely insane, they thought.

Hyrule managed to defeat Wind, having the sailor sit in front of him to untangle that rat's nest he calls his hair. “I’ll go next.” Sky raises his hand slightly, catching the attention of the other heroes. “I carve tiny figures of you guys and hide them in your things.” He pulls about a dozen little wooden things out of his pocket, each the size of a fingernail. Upon closer inspection, they’re members of the hero crew, even painted to look more like the real ones. The details were intricate and it was clear the skyloftian had taken great care in creating them. “So THAT’S where those are coming from.” Twilight has a look of realization on his face, as if he just found a clue crucial to figuring out a murder case. He pulls a handful of them out of one of his many pockets and shows them to the others, who each take out their own to compare. The heroes only have figures of their own likeness, how nobody managed to find anyone elses was a mystery. “Wait.. How many of those things did you make? I’ve got like 15.” Legend looks at Sky suspiciously, who only shrugs. “Not sure, I stopped counting after 50. That was about three weeks ago, so maybe.. 250?” He guessed, his face sort of scrunched up to think. “How-? I’ve only found 5, where are you hiding these things?” Four raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms while Sky simply chuckles. His laughter quickly changes from sweet and innocent to dark and conniving. “You’ll never find them all. They’re everywhere, hiding where you least expect, waiting to be found..” He whispers ominously, smiling with villainous intent. “So, who’s next?” He asks cheerfully, the sinister aspect of him gone in a second.

The group is confused, but decides to let Sky’s strange confession go for now. Four has started rummaging through his things, probably looking for more of the small figures. “I think I might have something interesting..” Twilight takes a deep breath in, to add suspense. Everyone is on the edge of their seats, staring intently while waiting for the rancher to spill his dark, dramatic secret. They can all imagine climatic music playing in their heads, the tension between them as tight as the imaginary violin strings that play in the background. “I..” Twilight begins, his voice wavering slightly. The listeners almost fall off the logs they’re sitting on because they’re leaning so far off. Nobody moves, not even to breathe. All is silent. Twilight takes a deep breath in, calming himself. “I’ve killed things. Lot’s of things.” The air is still for a few more seconds before everyone loudly gasps, eyes wide. Wild drops his spoon into the pot of soup he was cooking, splashing his clothes in the hot liquid. He was too shocked to even notice. “Twilight.. Really? I can’t believe it..” Sky is sobbing loudly into his hands, Hyrule looks as though he’s about to do the same. Time looks at the rancher with disappointment in his single eye, making the young man curl in on himself in shame. “How could you? We’re supposed to be heroes..” Four fiercely wipes away the tears flooding his vision and sliding down his cheeks.

Warriors doesn’t say anything, his back facing the others, only looking at Twilight for seconds at a time to glare at him before turning away again. Wind had run away from the heroes, unable to deal with the harsh emotions drowning his mind. This was terrible, absolutely horrific. The person they thought they knew turned out to be a killer. What would they do now? They felt betrayed, and deceived. Twilight, a murderer? It can’t be possible, it can’t.. Wild was staring at the rancher in disbelief.

“Hey, hold on a fucking second.” Legend’s voice cut through the sobbing of his fellow heroes, snapping them out of their thoughts.
“We literally kill things everyday, what are you guys crying about??” His hands were planted on his hips, making him look like an angry mother telling off her children when they got home after dark. Everyone sits there thinking about what the veteran had just told them for a solid 5 seconds before looking at each other, then back at the pink haired fellow. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” Hyrule looks as though he’s deep in thought, remembering all the times they had demolished monster camps and the like. “Me too, actually.” Wild adds in thoughtfully, pushing his long hair behind his shoulder.

Legend's mouth hangs open, absolutely astounded by the stupidity of his fellow heroes. Wind had come back by now and everyone was sitting around the fire once again, tears dried, watching Wild cook his surely delicious meal. Hyrule had thought long and hard, and had finally come up with something he deemed cool enough to share. By now the sun had mostly set, the sky turning a pretty dark blue. It wasn’t quite time for the stars to come out though, they usually appeared after all the heroes were sleeping soundly in their bedrolls. Hyrule clears his throat. "I've won the world record for being able to braid hair fast." Everyone looks a bit disappointed, that wasn't a very impressive feat honestly. The traveler pouts at the heroes faces. "Look, it's actually a very good talent to have. Watch this" Before anyone could say anything, Hyrule was already weaving the hair of the person closest to him (Wind) between his calloused fingers. Within seconds, the sailors hair was filled with braids. Everyone looked stunned, how Hyrule was able to create so many intricate little and big braids was a mystery. It was only about 5 seconds but Wind had 13 braids spread throughout his hair.

Before anyone could tell him how cool his skill was, the traveler was already braiding the blonde locks of the next person closest. He was like a machine, performing the repetitive motions perfectly and quickly. Four sputtered, shocked at how quickly his hair was twisted together. Then Hyrule was on to the next person, determined to adorn every member of their party with his signature plaits. He was even intertwining pieces of ribbon and such to make it even better.

Warriors sat still, letting the traveler braid his hair. It's not like he had a choice anyway, Hyrule would chase him down and do it even if he was kicking and screaming. He was too fast, there was no way out. Most of the heroes just sat back and let Hyrule do his thing, until there was only one left. Legend. Before Hyrule was anywhere near the veteran, he had sprung up from the log he was sitting on and sprinted into the forest, climbing a tree and letting his legs dangle off the sturdy branch. He listened closely to the sounds coming from the campfire, ears twitching slightly when he heard footsteps coming his direction. Hyrule knew exactly where the veteran was, but he figured it would be quite fun to play with his prey a little before catching it.

Legend held his breath when the footsteps stopped right below him. He didn't dare look down, for what he might see would haunt him forever. Hyrule stood under the tree that Legend was in, smiling devilishly. His entire presence radiated evil, his pupils pinpricked and darting around like a cat watching a bird, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Hyrule was the cat, and Legend the bird. The veteran feared that he wouldn't make it out of this alive, his thoughts racing and his heart beating fast but his limbs frozen in place, anxiety weighing him down like a stack of boxes filled with thick heavy books. Hyrule had started walking around the tree, similar to a shark circling around the ship it was about to sink. He stared up at Legend, watching the pink haired man cower above him.

Legend needed to get away from Hyrule, and fast. He didn't have many options though, and most of the plans his fear riddled brain could come up with would be difficult and risky to perform. He had no weapons, no way to defend against the travelers' vicious attacks. He was helpless. Hyrule grabbed onto one of the lower hanging branches and just hung there for a few seconds before swinging slowly, as if warning Legend of what he was going to do. Legend quickly developed a plan based on the travelers actions. Hyrule had begun to swing higher, boots almost touching the next higher branch. As soon as he had enough momentum to swing onto the branch, Hyrule let go and let his knees grab the higher branch, hanging upside down for a few seconds before pulling himself up to sit on top. The two men were almost at the same level now, Legend only a little bit higher.
Now it was time to put his plan in action.

He leapt off the branch he was sitting on, barely landing on the ground before taking off running. Hyrule did the same, and was close in pursuit. The veteran didn’t expect him to react so quickly, he figured his sudden escape would throw him off but Hyrule had proved him wrong. They ducked under trees and jumped over logs and rocks, running around the campsite with no regard for safety. Legend was going as fast as he could, boots barely touching the ground for a second before going back up. He swerved around trees and bags and heroes, trying to lose the beast chasing him. Sweat dripped down his forehead and the back of his neck. If it was any of the other heroes chasing him they wouldn’t be able to keep up, but Hyrule was fast. He was just a little bit behind him, barreling after him like a speeding bullet. Legend ran for his life, screaming bloody murder as the monster got closer. He spared a glance behind him, immediately looking back in front of him with wide, frightened eyes when he saw the creature after him. Hyrule was unstoppable, his face painted with determination. Almost five minutes had passed since they jumped out of the tree, the two still running. The veteran’s lungs burn with every breath, panting heavily. His boots hit the ground harder, not getting back up as fast. Legend was reaching his limit, but Hyrule was still going strong. It was over for him, he was dead meat.

Only a few seconds of Legend starting to slow down gave Hyrule the chance to capture the pink haired man. Legend felt something large and heavy slam into his back, knocking him to the ground with a shout. Before he could even begin to struggle and try to get the traveler off of him, Hyrule had already snatched off his hat and woven at least 8 braids. He had been defeated, it was over for him. He raised his head off the grass and took one wheezy last breath, reaching towards the group of men by the fire, praying to be saved from the evil being on top of him. After his breath ran out his head and arm dropped to the ground. Legend had given up.

Meanwhile by the fire, the heroes were ignoring the chaos behind them in favour of continuing sharing. Four stood up, curling his fingers around each other as if they were wrestling. “I have a talent.” Everyone stared at him, intrigued. The colourful hero then raised his arms up and lifted his foot slightly, pushing off the other one and flipping himself upside down. He did cartwheels around the circle of men, perfectly doing them over and over. Everyone watched him go around, heads turning to keep him in their sight. It was quite impressive, actually. Four started going faster once he got used to the movements, hands and legs only touching the ground for a second before launching back up. Faster and faster he went, until he was just a blur zooming around. The heroes were getting dizzy trying to look at it, they couldn’t even tell where Four was anymore because he was going so fast. Even Wild had stopped stirring the pot of soup to watch. It was mesmerizing, hypnotising even. Four just kept going, not stopping for a second. The heroes didn’t react when they heard Legend screaming from across camp, their eyes glued to the bright blur of motion going around them.

After maybe 7 minutes Four came to a stop, the heroes shaking their heads to back focus. Legend and Hyrule were coming back to the fire, the former looking extremely sour while the latter had a cheery grin plastered on his face. “Nice hair.” Wild snickers at the veteran, who’s face and ears go cherry red. He sat down on the log, arms crossed and back hunched. Hyrule joined him, plopping down on the grass so he could lean on the makeshift seat. “Who wants to go next?” Sky spoke up, stifling a yawn. “I nominate Time.” Twilight says with a sly smirk. The aforementioned Hero of Time sighs. “Alright, alright.” He stands up.

Then he starts singing. Not a nice, soothing lullaby, no. Time starts singing opera. Wind and Wild look at the man in shock and disbelief. He’s surprisingly good at it, perfectly hitting all the notes but it was just so.. Out there. Definitely not something anyone would expect to hear from the older hero. He moved his arms as he sang, one hand over his chest and the other waving around dramatically. Time pitched his voice higher and higher, until he sounded like a whistle. Twilight covered his ears, Four following in his steps after Time somehow made his voice go even higher. An empty glass bottle that was attached to Hyrule’s belt shattered. The pot filled with soup Wild was cooking started bubbling over, the scarred hero desperately trying to keep it all in while also keeping his hands clamped over his ears. He ended up holding the spoon with his elbows to beat the bubbles back down, which not surprisingly did not work and burning soup continued to flood the pot. All the animals in the surrounding forest area scattered, frightened by the high pitched noise assaulting their hearing. The wind picked up, rustling clothes and hair, almost putting out the fire. “Time, stop!!” They shouted at the man, trying to get him to cease his incredibly loud attack. He couldn’t hear them.

Warriors, the brave lad, stood up and almost got blown right off his feet before steadying himself. He took long steps to try to keep his balance, looking like an astronaut walking on the moon if it was also incredibly windy in space. “Time!!” The heroes tried yelling again, but same as before they could not be heard over the gusts of wind, bubbling pot, and high pitched opera singing. Once Wars got close enough, he gave up on trying to walk and instead lunged for Time. He crashed into the metal armour, slapping his hand over the man’s mouth. In an instant, the wind stopped and the animals came back and the pot calmed. All is well. Everyone slowly removed their hands from their ears, sighing with relief. “Never do that again. Ever.” Four is the first to speak, the others nodding in agreement. Time just chuckles and sits down, grabbing his waterskin and drinking a hearty amount to sooth his now probably sore throat.

Twilight's ears are ringing, but they decide to move on. Only three people left to go, thank god. This was quickly turning into a disaster. Warriors, Legend, and Wild had not shown off a skill yet, although Wild may not get to, because he’s still cooking. That soup sure is taking a long time, but it’s okay because it’s convenient to the plot. Warriors clears his throat. “I’ll go next, if that’s alright.” He flashes a cheesy smile, which nobody but Sky returns. “I learned to dance a few years ago, some kids at a camp I was staying at for a few nights taught me. I got pretty good at it actually, I even used to perform.” Now the men were intrigued. Wars, a dancer? He had never said anything about that before this. The captain started humming a playful tune, then started doing.. Ballet. Warriors was doing ballet. Wind bit back laughter, covering his mouth with his hand. It wasn’t even good ballet, he was literally doing the same three moves over and over.

Sky was the only one who genuinely enjoyed the captain's performance. It seemed the rest of the men were either about to start crying from laughter or throw up. “Okay, Okay. You can stop now, Wars.” Legend stood up to put a stop to Warriors ‘dancing’, his knees popping as he did so. Everyone looked at him funny. “What?” Legend looked around, confused. “Your legs made a weird noise.” Wild says, pointing his stirring spoon at him as Sky poked the back of his knee, making him almost kick the dirty blonde out of reflex. “Yeah, they do that all the time, it’s normal.” He says, stepping away slightly from Sky who was still trying to investigate. “Watch.” Legend bends his leg up and down a few times until it pops again. Everyone looks at him in awe. “How do you do that??” Wind had stood up now too, bending his leg and almost losing his balance several times. “I dunno, it just.. Does.” He moves his ankle around in a circle, feeling it pop. “I can do it with all my joints.” The pink haired man then proceeds to crack and pop every single place he can, all in a row. Neck, back, knuckles, wrists, hips, elbows, even toes. Wild nodded his head as if he was listening to his favourite heavy metal song. “This is a SICK beat!”

When Legend eventually stopped, the group just stared at him for a second before applauding him. “That was awesome!” Wind clung to legends arm like a parasite. “You should release an album.” Twilight looked at Legend thoughtfully. The veteran sputtered. Did.. Did they think that was music.. “I agree, you play beautifully.” Four chimes in. “Uhhh.. I wasn’t playing any instrume-” “LOOK OUT!!” Legend is interrupted by a panicked shout, and eight heads whipped towards the sound, hands grasping sword hilts. It came from Wild, who had just dropped a steaming hot bowl of soup right above Hyrule’s head. The traveler ducks, throwing his arms above his head as if it might protect him from the scalding liquid. Thankfully Wild manages to catch the bowl, only a small drop slipping out. He can’t hold onto it for long though because, well, it’s HOT. The hero is trying to carry three bowls at once, which wouldn’t be a problem for him if the bowls weren’t as hot as the soup. He got distracted thinking about what skill he would show off and forgot to let their dinner cool down a bit before trying to serve it.

Twilight quickly got up to help the struggling blonde, but Wild just yelled that “It’s okay, I’ve got it all under control!!” Apparently all under control meant juggling because he was going full circus mode, juggling three full bowls of soup without spilling a drop. Well, he spilt a few drops, but nobody noticed so to make it seem more impressive let’s just say he didn’t. The movement made the soup cool down fast, and after maybe a minute of juggling them they had cooled down enough to be held without getting burnt. With a wide grin on his face, Wild hands the bowls to the three people closest to him so he didn’t have to walk far and risk spilling the soup. The hero returns to the pot, scooping the tasty liquid into more bowls. He pauses for a second, thinking.

Next thing he knows, he’s juggling six bowls.

Wild manages to do it, somehow. He didn’t think he would succeed and expected to fail as soon as he began, but surprisingly the scarred hero was actually able to juggle six bowls at once. Everyone else was just as shocked as the cook. “Woahhh!!” Wind and Sky echo each other, gasping in amazement. Time stares at Wild, lips curling into a slight smile. To spice it up a little bit, Wild decides he needs more and asks everyone to give him their spoons. Now he’s juggling six bowls and eight spoons. How? No clue, but he’s doing it, so good for him. This is a bit too easy, if Wild is being honest. “Give me more stuff!!” He shouts.

Now Wild is juggling six bowls, eight spoons, three waterskins, five shields, two swords, seven probably cursed random objects, four instruments, and Wind. “Alright, we get it, you can juggle. Now give me my food, I’m fuckin hungry.” Legend looks unimpressed. The cook groans like a teenager when told to put their phone away and drops everything. It all lands on top of him, sending the hero to the ground face first. Wind is sitting on Wild’s back, managing to catch the soup filled bowls and handing them out. Wild gets up, a toothy grin plastered on his face. “Did you see that? I had so much! Wasn’t that so cool??” Everyone just sighs and acts annoyed, but they were smiling too. The heroes eat their meal, light chatter filling the slightly chilly evening air.

The soup was delicious.