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Take My Hands Now

Summary:

In an alternate universe where soulmates exist, by chance you discover that Jeon Jungkook is yours. But just because you're destined to be together, doesn't mean that anything will come easy.

Notes:

I was inspired by Fallencairns story Turbulence where your survival depends on your soulmate's touch. I tweaked it a bit to be centered around needing your soulmate's touch to preserve one of you senses and allow you to function optimally. I love their story so much and if you haven't read it, I HIGHLY recommend it! The writing is wonderful and the slow burn hurts so good!

In this story, anything typed in bold would be spoken in Korean, but since I'm no where near fluent, I'm not going to attempt it.

Also, the novel that is referenced here, Seoul Searching, is actually real! You can head over to her website to read it. It really is so good!

https://www.koreanfromcontext.com/seoul-searching/

Also, this is my first attempt at fan fiction. I will do my best to post regularly. I pretty much have the whole thing plotted out already, I just got to add some dialogue and a little bit more detail. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Text


“That concert was insane!,” you murmured to yourself as you scrolled through the pictures on your phone from the night before. Last night, you had floor seats with your two besties to see BTS. It was such an incredible show and you still hadn’t come down from that high. 

 

“Would you like something to drink, miss?” asked the stewardess as she came by with the drink cart. You shook your head no and returned to scrolling your gallery, snuggling back down into your first class seat. You had gotten a truly amazing video of Jungkook as he came to your side of the stage when they performed “Baepsae” and you just have to watch it again. You blushed as you started the video for the 8th time. 

 

Long haul flights had always seemed to take forever, but this flight from Los Angeles to Seoul didn’t seem to take any time at all. Probably because you had basically spent the entire time reliving every moment of the concert. It had been such an incredible experience and you were so happy you had been able to catch them in concert before you had to fly to Seoul on business. 

 

As an audiobook narrator, you didn’t get flown to record on location very often. You would make the occasional trip into downtown LA or to New York to record, but most often you worked from home in your tiny booth. 

 

So it had been a real treat when the audiobook publisher asked that you come to Seoul to complete the narration for your next book, and even sprang for first class tickets and a swanky hotel to boot. 

 

This particular book, Seoul Searching, was dear to your heart because A) It was your best friend’s book and B) Allowed you to make use of your Korean Language minor from college. The whole idea behind the book was that the reader would learn some Korean from context. It was such a unique concept and so well written that you had begged your friend to narrate it. She of course said yes, but that the publisher was based out of Korea and they might ask you to fly out to do the recording. You told her that you’d one hundred percent be ok with making that “sacrifice”.

 

You looked out the window as land was finally making an appearance underneath you in the cloudless sky. Should be landing soon you thought to yourself. You decided to get up to use the restroom one last time before they started the final descent into Seoul. Standing up, you grabbed your white suit jacket and slipped it on over your blush pink blouse.

 

The first class seats were basically tiny rooms inside the airplane, so you hadn’t really seen much of the other passengers in first class. As you stood up, however, you got an eyeful. And you could not believe your eyes. Standing up from his seat to stretch was none other than RM, Kim Namjoon of BTS, himself. Your jaw dropped, eyes bulging momentarily before trying, and falling, to look nonchalant. You definitely did NOT want to go all fan girl on him here. 

 

Your eyes scanned the rest of the seats around and you saw the heads and faces of the rest of the group scattered around the cabin. You couldn’t believe your luck!

 

You walked closer to him and murmured a quiet, “Excuse me,” to get to the lavatory at the front of the plane. He took notice of you and quickly stepped aside, knocking into Jungkook, who was standing up. Unfortunately for you, Jungkook had been holding a cup of coffee at the time. 

 

Almost as if it were in slow motion, you watched as the coffee cup tilted in your direction, spilling the dark brown liquid all over your cream colored business suit. 

 

When you bought the suit, you questioned the wisdom of buying a white suit. But it looked amazing on you and your friend Sammie told you your ass looked incredible in it. So you bought it. 

 

Most of the time you worked in sweats, holed up in your tiny cave of a recording booth, recording in the dark by the light of your computer screen. You often thought you were like the trolls that live under bridges in fairytales, only emerging for food or other bodily needs.

 

But, you would be attending multiple meetings with the publisher over the course of your trip and you didn’t want the jacket to get wrinkled in your suitcase. So you brought the suit to change into on the plane. You had changed from your typical work attire (sweats) into your suit after they had served breakfast.

 

You could see the coffee cup's trajectory and it was aimed squarely at you. Unable to avoid the spray, you braced for the inevitable splatter.

 

Namjoon’s face was a mask of regret. Jungkook’s face was frozen, eyes wide and mouth in the shape of a shocked O. The coffee spilled all down your front, covering not just your jacket and blouse, but your pants as well. Well, there goes that suit you thought to yourself.

 

Please forgive me !” blurts out Jungkook in Korean, who immediately bowed. Namjoon, likewise bows, but said in English, “I am so sorry! Here, let me help.”

 

You stammered out something about it being ok, but you couldn’t be certain exactly what came out of your mouth. It must’ve been a mix of English and Korean because the two men in front of you looked both confused and surprised.

 

Do you speak Korean? ” Jungkook asked, puzzled, as he looked into your face. Namjoon was frantically looking for something to wipe the mess up with while Jungkook seemed mesmerized, a complete deer in headlights. 

 

A stewardess appeared behind you, holding out a towel and napkins to clean the spill. This seemed to break Jungkook out of his trance and he reached for the extended towel at the exact same time as you. Your hands brushed against each other, and you both froze.

 

The sensation was thrilling. It was as if liquid fire was flowing through your veins from your hand to the rest of your body. It set tingles sparkling up and down your skin and a bone deep heaviness felt as if it’d been lifted from your body. You felt so light, you could’ve been floating. You're not one hundred percent certain that you weren’t. I t’s the rush of a soulmate connection , you thought and your eyes widened in surprise. 

 

You looked into Jungkook’s face, hoping to see a similar reaction on his face. But his face was blank. As if nothing life altering had just occurred to him. Your sadness was complete and immediate. You could have sworn you felt it. You felt the rush, the radiant energy… Or maybe it was your inner psycho fan girl showing you cursed inwardly. 

 

You’d read so many stories about other people’s soulmate connections, and had looked forward to experiencing it yourself. When soulmates found each other and made physical contact, they would feel a rush of sensations ranging from warmth, to a tingling sensation all over their bodies. Some people experienced a momentary overload of one of their senses, but all people would experience a feeling of connection and lightness that indicated the soulmate bond. Additionally, soulmates could experience an inexplicable tug or pull to move closer to their soulmate without realizing it, which scientists thought aided in the bringing soulmates together.

 

The connection was then followed by a settling period in which couples needed to be in close proximity and physical contact to ensure the bond would take hold properly, resulting in a shared mark that would show up in the same place somewhere on both partner’s bodies. In cases where soulmates weren’t able to reconnect (or in cases of a total rejection of the bond), they’d experience symptoms such as fatigue, dizziness, nausea, increased heart rate, jitteriness, or even fainting. 

 

If the bond wasn’t able to form completely, it would result in your soul mark shifting from a dark brownish black, like a freckle or birthmark, to white, like the skin had been frozen. And at the end, it resulted in the eventual loss of one of your senses, each couple being unique as to which sense they lost. You’d heard horror stories about people going blind, losing all sense of smell or similar other losses. You prayed it would never happen to you. But you reminded yourself that that was pretty uncommon. Plus, it would be your soulmate! Why wouldn’t they want to be around you?!

 

You pushed away your confusion and disappointment at his lack of reaction as you tried to wipe away the wetness of the coffee. And of course the one suit you had packed, and really needed , you thought, was completely ruined. 

 

Another man stood up in the aftermath of the incident and extended a business card to you. 

 

“Please allow us to replace your clothing,” said the man in heavily accented English. “My name is Sejin Park, and I am responsible for these boys.”

 

Oh, it’s ok! It was an accident. But, thank you! ” you replied, taking the proffered business card. Again the faces of the men in front of you were surprised at your response.

 

Your Korean is very good! ” replies Namjoon. “ My name is Kim Namjoon. It’s nice to meet you.

 

It’s very nice to meet you too. I am Y/N. I, uh, actually just caught your concert in LA. It was such a great show! You guys did an amazing job! ” you blurted out. You were a little mortified that you let your fan girl slip out. 

 

Namjoon and Sejin both looked pleased, and your admission seemed to break Jungkook from his trance. 

 

Oh, thank you. But I’m sorry we ruined your suit! We should definitely treat ARMY much better than this, ” Jungkook said, frowning.

 

No, it’s really ok! It was an accident! Please, don’t worry about it too much! ” you stammered. You really didn’t want him looking so sadly at you. Why did he look so sad?

 

You then heard the pilot make the announcement that they’re making the final descent into Seoul and that everyone should return to their seats. You shot back an, “ It was really nice meeting you !” as you headed back to your seat, still wiping the remnants of the coffee from your clothing.

 

As you settled back into your seat, you tried to wrap your head around the fact that you just met BTS! Well some of them anyway. You couldn’t wait to text Sammie and Bridgette about your brush with your favorite artists. But also that your only business suit was probably ruined.

 

But more importantly, your mind kept going over the brush with Jungkook and the immediate rush you felt. That had to be something, right? But he acted like nothing happened. A total blank. Had you been just imagining it? Or were you just so excited to have touched, albeit accidentally, one of your favorite idols that your brain and body went haywire? You couldn’t seem to reason it out. You definitely needed second and third opinions on this. You thought about the time difference between here and LA and decided it was worth potentially waking your friends up to share the news as soon as you get to the hotel.

 

As the plane taxied into the gate, you gathered your belongings and waited for your turn to exit the plane. By the time you stood up, hoping to catch one last glimpse of BTS before you went, you only saw Jungkook’s back as he turned and walked out of sight. You sighed in resignation and waited for your turn to leave.

 

Once in the airport, you quickly found a bathroom and changed into the nicest clothes you had in your carry on and headed out to pick up your luggage. Once you had them, you looked for the hotel shuttle. You only had about an hour to settle in before needing to head to your first meeting. You hoped that the publishers would be understanding about your lack of proper attire.

 

When you arrived at your hotel, you stopped by the concierge desk to ask about a dry cleaner in an attempt to save your (most likely ruined) suit. She happily takes the suit from you, insisting that she would send it out to the best cleaner in the neighborhood. She’d call your room as soon as she’d heard from them. You thank her and head up to the room to unpack and unwind.

 

You looked around your room and sighed to yourself. You wished you could stay the entire length of your trip in this room, it was so beautiful and comfortably furnished. But sadly after the first 4 nights, you’d be moving to a much less expensive place. The publisher had put you up in a very upscale hotel, but for the remainder of your two week visit, you would be staying on your own dime to do some sightseeing. You’d always wanted to visit Korea, but between the expense of getting there and lack of time in your packed schedule, you had never been able to get away. 

 

After unpacking your suitcase, you decided to give your friends a call. They both answered your video chat instantly. 

 

“So, how was the flight?” Sammie asked in a singsong voice.

 

“It was a mixed bag. But you are not going to believe this,” you replied. “BTS was on my flight!”

 

“You’re kidding!” Bridgette gasped. “What were they like? Did you get to talk to them? Did you get any selfies with them?!” Bridgette, the bigger BTS fan of your two best friends, immediately peppered you with a dozen more questions.

 

“Sadly, there was no time for photos. By the time I realized they were on my flight, and after I cleaned myself up, we were making our final approach and I had to sit down.” You said.

 

“What do you mean, ‘clean yourself up’,” Sammie inquired suspiciously. 

 

“Well the bad part was that RM knocked JK’s cup of coffee all over me and my suit.”

 

“Damn. Which suit? Not that beautiful white one. Please tell me it wasn’t the beautiful white one!” Sammie whined.

 

“Yep. The white one,” you lamented.

 

“Well, at least your ass looked good while you were getting covered in coffee,” she sighed.

 

“Oh my God, the god of destruction strikes again. What are you going to do with the suit?” said Bridgette.

 

“I left it with the concierge to get cleaned. I only hope it can be saved. My chances of finding something off the rack to fit me here are pretty slim,” you groaned. Your very western body shape was significantly curvier than the typical asian one and you knew you’d never be able to find something that fit you well.

 

“But that’s not the craziest part…I think…” you trailed off. “I think Jungkook may be my soulmate.” you admitted.

 

Silence.

 

And then pandemonium.

 

“WHAT?!” and, “Are you kidding?!” cried Bridgette and Sammie simultaneously.

 

“You think Jungkook is your soulmate and you led with the story about your suit?!” Sammie exclaimed disbelievingly. 

 

“Why do you think he’s your soulmate?! Tell me everything!” Bridgette shouted.

 

“Well,” you start, “We both reached for the same towel to clean up the spill and our hands kind of… touched, I guess? And I felt this rush of tingle-tingle sparkle-sparkles, and it was incredible!” you gushed. But then you paused.

 

“And?” Sammie said excitedly.

 

“And… Well, when I looked at JK, his face was just kinda… blank,” you admitted. “Like nothing had registered for him. You guys, what if I’m wrong!” you moaned.

 

“Hmm,” Bridgette said. “What exactly did you feel?”

 

“So, our hands brushed up against each other, and it was like warmth and tinglies rushing from that spot to the rest of my body. And then it was like this weight on my shoulders was just… gone. It felt so good! So happy! I thought for sure this was it! But what if I just imagined it? Or that my inner fangirl got carried away from actually touching Jeon freaking Jungkook?!” you wailed.

 

“It really does sound like a soulmate connection,” replied Sammie. “But it’s hard to know without confirming it with the other person.” She paused. “And he didn’t say anything at all?”

 

“No! But I do have the business card for their manager. He offered to replace my suit,” you added lamely.

 

“Well, at least there’s that. There’s a chance you might actually be able to see him again. I guess the only way to know for sure is whether or not you start to lose one of your senses. I mean, that’s what’s supposed to happen if you don’t settle the connection soon, right?” said Bridgette.

 

“I guess you’re right... But who wants to lose one of their senses to confirm that one of the biggest stars in the world is your soulmate?!” you yelled.

 

“True… true…” Bridgette intoned. 

 

“Ugh, I guess I’ll try calling Sejin tomorrow. At the very least, he should pay for my suit,” you grumbled.

 

“Damn, straight! That suit was a masterpiece!” Sammie said.

 

“Ok. Well, I need to get ready for my first meeting. I’ll talk to you later. Wish me luck!” you said.

 

“Will do. Good luck! Oh, and keep us updated on the JK situation, ok?!” Sammie replied.

 

“I will, I will. Love you guys! Talk to you later!” you said with forced optimism. 

 

You hung up the video call and started heading out to your meeting with the audiobook publisher. You quickly double checked the address when you ordered the cab. But you did a double take when you saw the address on the map.

 

“No. Freaking. Way,” you whispered.

Chapter 2

Summary:

In which you arrive at the HYBE building for your business meetings, attempt to find a suit, and you get a migraine.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean.

Chapter Text

You hopped out of the cab in front of the HYBE building and looked up in awe. This is where the magic happens , you thought. Apparently, the audiobook publisher was a subcontractor with HYBE. Their offices were located in a small section of the building and they booked time in the same recording studios that many of BIgHit’s groups recorded in. 

As you made your way inside the building, you couldn’t help but wonder what the guys from BTS were up to right now. They’re most likely back at their home, resting after several days of concerts and the long flight home. You knew they worked hard, but surely there was time for rest and decompression, too. 

 

But a small part of you was thrilled by the possibility of running into one of them while working here. 

 

You checked in at the welcome desk and the receptionist handed you an ID card attached to a lanyard. You slipped it over your head and preened at the piece of plastic. Did this mean you’re technically an employee of HYBE now? Even if it was just for a few days? Probably not, you thought. You smiled and shook your head, cutting off the ridiculous thought. 

 

You were guided to the elevator bank located behind several security gates that only opened when you scanned your ID. The receptionist told you the publisher’s offices were located on the sixth floor and you pressed the button to call the elevator. You quickly checked to make sure you had everything you needed for your meeting and stepped into the elevator. 

 

Unlike what most kdramas and movies would suggest, elevators weren’t the romantic hotspot they’d been painted as. You rode the elevator in solitude as you listened to your demo reel one last time for good measure. As you exited, you walked out into a maze of small conference rooms. You wandered around for a while, lost. But eventually you found the publisher’s office and were warmly greeted with a bow and a handshake.

 

Your meeting went smoothly, and your new production manager was completely understanding about your wardrobe malfunction (you just conveniently left out the fact that it was Jungkook who spilled coffee on you), and went over the terms of your contract. 

 

They then ask you about the possibility of recording several other books for them and becoming a regular narrator on their roster. Finding a native English speaker that can also speak Korean had been hole they’d struggled to fill, they’d shared. You eagerly agreed and talked about the genres you typically narrated. A few additional meetings were set up to go over those contracts and you arranged to meet your director for the following day to get started.

 

As you wrapped up your meeting, you got a call from an unknown number. 

 

Hello?” you answered.

 

Yes, this is the head concierge. I wanted to give you an update on your suit ,” the woman said brightly.

 

This gave you a little hope. “ Fantastic! What is the update? ” you asked, hesitantly optimistic.

 

I’m so sorry, but the cleaners said they did everything they could, but weren’t able to get the stains out. They’ve sent the suit back to us and we will have it brought to your room and hung up in the closet for you ,” she said, still chipper. Must be a part of her training to always be upbeat, you thought miserably.

 

Ah, really? Well, thank you for letting me know ,” you replied.

 

It is my pleasure. Would you like for me to recommend a few stores where you could find a replacement suit? I can have the addresses texted to this phone number if you’d like ,” she said

 

You thought about this for a moment. Although you could probably use the excuse of a ruined suit for the rest of your trip, your inner business guru screamed that you needed to put your best foot forward if you’re going to continue working with this company. And wearing a suit to the rest of your meetings was the best way to accomplish that. So you decided to take the concierge up on her offer and said, “ That would be wonderful, thank you. I would really appreciate it .” 

 

Of course. I will text them over right away ,” she chirped before cutting the line. You swore you’d never get used to the way Koreans hung up the phone without saying goodbye.

 

You headed out of the HYBE building and sighed. The afternoon was bright and breezy, your favorite kind of weather, and it was a beautiful, balmy spring day. Although the cherry blossom season had long since passed, you appreciated the beautiful flowers blooming all around Seoul. You headed out to the road to hail a taxi and gave the driver the first address from the list that the concierge had texted you. 

 

But one by one each store failed to have something that fit you. You wouldn’t call yourself overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but you were most definitely pear shaped. You loved your body. In fact, BTS helped you to learn that you should love yourself, exactly as you were. And you’d done some hard work to retrain your brain not to immediately put yourself down. But when six different stores didn’t have anything that fit you, it was hard not to feel discouraged. That you were the problem, not the stores. So, with your frustration levels at an all time high, and fueled no doubt by the jetlag, you gave up on finding anything that would fit you and headed back to the hotel. 

 

On your way back, you decided to swing by the convenience store near your hotel to grab some dinner. Inside, you recognized a few brands of ramen that you could actually get from your asian grocery store back home. Grateful for the familiarity, you grabbed your favorite kimchi ramen, some cheese and sausage, as well as a small side of kimchi for your dinner and headed back to the hotel. 

 

It was only 6:30 PM, but your body thought it was 2 AM and you were beyond wiped. You struggled to finish your dinner, your eyes drooping as you ate. You decided that sleep was more important right now and threw the half finished ramen cup into the trash, before falling into the bed. And sleep took you almost instantly.

 

You woke up at 3 AM, groaning as you scrubbed your face. You had hoped to sleep more, but your bladder told you it was time to get up! 

 

Trudging into the bathroom, you groaned. You felt like you’d been run over by a bus. This jetlag is no joke , you thought as you took in your haggard appearance in the mirror. The dark circles under your eyes and sallowness of your skin made you look seriously ill. You grimaced at your appearance, thinking there was no amount of makeup in the world that could cover that up. 

 

You could also feel the beginnings of a migraine start to creep around the edges of your eyes. The tell tale throbbing and tingling of your skull was unfortunately all too familiar to you. So you decided to take a cold shower and grab some ice for your head to try and stave off your inevitable migraine as long as possible. 

 

Shower done and DIY ice pack in place, you decided to try and get some work done. It was still too early to get ready for your meeting or even to grab coffee from a cafe. But books won’t prep themselves, after all. So you dove into reading and taking notes on the novel you’d come to Seoul to record. You’d technically already prepped Sammie’s book, but it couldn’t hurt to read it again, you thought. You opened up your computer to read the romance novel again. It never failed to sweep you away.

 

You loved your job. You literally got paid to read books! Who wouldn’t want that job? But after you started down this path three years ago, you quickly realized that there’s so much more to being a narrator. Not only did you have to read the book to familiarize yourself with the story, you also had to get into the character’s heads, to try and figure out what makes them tick. 

 

That was how you’re able to give the performances that your audiences had come to love. And as an independent narrator, you often had to be not just the actor, but the director, sound engineer, proofer, and editor all at the same time. It takes a lot of work and time to create an audiobook, but you have loved almost every second of it. 

 

As you finished up the book, you glanced out the window and realized the sun was fully up by now. You checked your watch and a small squeak of surprise escaped your lips. If you didn’t hurry you were going to be late for the meeting. You pulled on some comfy, but professional clothes and headed back to the HYBE building, the ID lanyard swinging around your neck.

 

Your head throbbed as you entered the building. It’s probably just the jetlag and change of location, you thought as you scanned your badge at the security turnstiles. It wouldn’t be the first time a lack of sleep had caused a migraine. And it won’t be the last time, either , you thought miserably. 

 

You checked the directions the publisher gave you yesterday and found your way to the recording studios you’d be working in. After shaking hands with your director, and going over the notes he had for the performance, you slipped on the very familiar cans (aka over ear headphones) and got settled in for the next few hours. 

 

To say you were on the struggle bus that morning would’ve been the understatement of the year. In fact, you weren’t just a passenger on the struggle bus, you were the struggle bus driver. No, scratch that. You were the freaking struggle bus fleet admiral. 

 

You had to stop after almost every single sentence. The lack of flow in your performance made you more and more frustrated, making you mess up even more. You could see the concerned looks the director would shoot at the sound engineer, even if his words to you were a constant stream of encouragement.

 

Around mid afternoon, you asked for a quick break to grab something to drink. You wandered out into the halls, looking for a water fountain to refill your water bottle. As you walked, you almost felt like there was a small string tugging on you from your chest, trying to get you to turn right towards another hallway instead of left towards the water. You hesitantly took a step in that direction before shaking your head and reminding yourself you had better things to do instead of getting yourself lost inside of HYBE’s maze-like corridors.

 

So you turned left, filled your bottle and returned to your booth to continue recording, not noticing any more of those strange tugs as you worked the rest of the day.

 

You didn’t get as much done that day as the director had hoped. He mentioned that you’d need to work hard to catch up in order to make the deadline. You apologized profusely, citing your migraine and your serious jet lag as the likely source of the problem. You promised to get a good night’s sleep and come back fighting fit the next day.

 

As you headed towards the elevators, you suddenly remembered Sejin’s promise to replace your suit. Since you were already there, you figured you could probably swing by his office if he was around. So you pulled out the manager’s card and dialed the number. He answered on the first ring.

 

Yes ,” a clipped voice answered.

 

Ah, yes. Hello, I was hoping to speak to Park Sejin? ” you tentatively asked.

 

Yes, this is Sejin. What can I do for you? ” 

 

You may not remember me, but I was the person that Jungkook spilled coffee on the other day? You had mentioned the possibility of replacing my suit. I tried to have it cleaned, but it wasn’t able to be saved. I really do need that suit for the remainder of my business trip, so I was hoping you could either help me find a new one, or at the very least, help pay for it ,” you said.

 

“Ah! I’m so glad you called! We have been trying to get in contact with you since the other day but didn’t know how to find you! ” Sejin sighed in relief.

 

You suddenly had the sinking feeling that you’d done something wrong, but couldn’t figure out why. Like the feeling you get when suddenly being called to the principal’s office when you were in school. Your mind scrambles to come up with any explanation as to why Sejin would be frantically looking for you, but you come up empty.

 

I’m sorry you couldn’t reach me. ” You paused. “What was it that you needed? ” you replied hesitantly. 

 

Sejin was silent a moment before saying, “ You were not aware of the soulmate connection? Hmmm… Perhap Jungkookie was mistaken… ” 

 

Oh... that ,” you answered lamely.

 

Yes, that.

 

Well, I wasn’t sure if it was a real connection or not. Jungkook didn’t react to it at all ,” you admitted.

 

Ah, well our Jungkook has a tendency to get a little... flustered when he’s surprised. I believe he thought the same thing, that perhaps he had been mistaken. But he has not been in good health since yesterday. He’s been very fatigued and has been complaining of dizziness and headaches all day. This isn’t typical for him, ” Sejin said, matter of factly.

 

You thought about this. You too, had been very tired and your headache was still pounding behind your eyes. You had thought this was just a byproduct of the lack of sleep, but realized perhaps it was a sign of something bigger.

 

When you don’t respond, Sejin continued.

 

We would like to request that you come to the HYBE building in Gangnam to meet with us and go over some things. I imagine that you, likewise, have been suffering some ill effects and would like to initiate contact with him.”

 

That would work just fine for me. Actually, I’m in the HYBE building right now. My business trip here was to work with the audiobook division within HYBE. I’m done for the day and could meet you right now ,” you offered.

 

Really? Thank you! That would be wonderful. ” 

 

Sejin tells you how to find his office and you hang up the call.

 

You headed upstairs to Sejin’s office and the moment you stepped off the elevator, you felt that small tug coming from behind your breastbone. You were curious about the sensation and after a moment’s debate, you decided to follow it this time. Your feet seemed to move on their own and you eventually found yourself on the other side of a large door with a small window set into it. 

 

You peeked inside the room, pressing your nose against the glass. It looked like one of the practice rooms you’d seen in one of the many vlives and bangtan bomb videos on youtube.

 

 You didn’t immediately register that there were people in the room until they moved from a side of the room you couldn’t see from your vantage point.

 

You quietly gasped when you recognized the faces of the boys inside. It was 3J. Jhope, Jimin, and Jungkook. They were rehearsing a song you’d never heard before and you resisted the urge to pull out your phone to record it. Jhope cued up the music again using a small remote and yelled out, “A five, six, seven, eight!” And they began to move.

 

Jhope and Jimin had always had a natural grace and fluidity of motion that sometimes took your breath away. Jungkook likewise had an athletic agility that made all his movements seem effortless. But today, Jungkook seemed… distracted. Clumsy, if that was even possible..

 

You could tell that his head was not in this practice. It was like his head was miles away, and he fumbled through every step. Every movement, instead of being effortless, seemed to be taking a monumental amount of energy and focus. 

 

And he’d missed almost every beat.

 

You saw Jhope’s frustration grow as the seconds ticked by and the music continued to play. He stopped each run through time and time again, trying to show the maknae what he was doing wrong and how to fix it. You couldn’t hear their words over the music, but you could tell by the expressions on their faces that no one was happy. Jhope was clearly frustrated. Jimin seemed to be confused about why Jungkook was so off today. And finally Jungkook was supremely disappointed with himself. You could almost see the inner beating he was giving himself.

 

As they continued to dance, JK seemed to be drifting closer and closer to your door as you watched, unable to tear yourself away. It wasn’t until he was moving purposefully towards the door, that you snapped out of your trance and scurried away to find Sejin’s office. 

 

You turned a corner and leaned against the wall out of sight and held your breath as you heard the door open and Jungkook’s feet stop. As if he was waiting for something. You took this as your cue to continue towards Sejin’s office and walked farther down the hall. You didn’t want to have to explain to Jungkook why you were spying on him, but also that Surprise! We’re Soulmates! You hurried away from the practice room as fast as possible, leaving Jungkook to his practice.

 

When you entered Sejin’s office, he offered you a seat across from him at his desk. It was littered with photos of what you assumed was his family, but also countless pictures of him with the boys. You smiled as you saw the evidence of many years with the Tannies. You actually cooed when you saw a picture of baby Jimin, taken around the time of their debut. He looked so young! But the amount of guyliner was borderline obscene.

 

Thank you for coming. May I offer you anything to drink? To eat? ” Sejin asked.

 

You politely declined before settling into the chair across from him. Then, he launched into his speech.

 

As you can imagine, the fact that Jungkook has met his soulmate is a reason to celebrate, but it also creates a few… logistical difficulties that need to be addressed ,” Sejins said, looking straight into your eyes. 

 

You got the feeling he wasn’t all that happy about your sudden appearance in his and Jungkook’s life and would have preferred that the contact had never happened in the first place. 

 

I can imagine, ” you reply.

 

Yes. I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you, but I need you to sign this NDA. It’s fairly standard. It just states that you won’t go off and start talking to the media about your relationship status with Jungkook.” He pushed a stack of papers toward you.

 

The voice of your late father was winging in your ears. Never sign anything you haven’t read in its entirety , he said any time you had to sign a contract for work. You smiled at the memory. 

 

It had been about 2 years since he and your mom had passed away in a car accident. You missed them so much, especially now that you’d met your soulmate. You wished they could be here to meet him. But also to share in the excitement and also help soothe your fears about this momentous change. 

 

But at least you still had your sister, even if you hadn’t been able to see each other often. She lived in North Carolina, and you in California. The two of you spoke on the phone and video chat often, and would try to get together for the holidays. But the physical distance between the two of you had forced a small amount of emotional distance as well. 

 

I’ll definitely take a look at this later tonight before I sign it. But I give you my word that I won’t talk to any media outlets or post about this on social media. I have told two of my friends about the encounter, and I would like to talk about my soulmate to my family. I’m sure you’ve provided for this in the contract, of course. ” you said. Sejin looked grumpy at your refusal to sign right away, but nodded his agreement.

 

Of course. We’ll have to have them sign NDA’s as well. We have to protect the privacy of the members, you understand.”

 

I’m sure my friends and my sister won’t mind. But I’d like to be able to look over their contracts as well before sending it for them to sign. ” you replied. 

 

Now he definitely looks grumpy, you thought.

 

Ok. But I have to insist that before you can meet with JK, we must have these contracts taken care of ,” Sejin shot back. He pulled out an additional stack of papers and pushed them towards you. Your eyes widened a bit in surprise. “ These contracts go over some of the more practical aspects of your relationship. Such as your living arrangements, your employment, the expectations we will have for you with regards to Jungkook’s health as well as a few other things, ” Sejin said. 

 

He looked a bit guilty as he said that last part. It made you suspicious, so you pulled the papers to you and started looking through them. You’re no lawyer and the legalease was making your eyes water. But you did happen to catch a section labeled “Relationship Exclusivity” that gave you pause. You knew it was rare, but platonic soulmates did exist and you wanted to be able to pursue a relationship outside of this arrangement should that prove to be the case for you and Jungkook. A part of you drooped, however, at the thought of only having a platonic connection with the maknae.

 

You breathed in to start voicing some objections about this when the door to Sejin’s office opened and the hesitant face of Jeon Jungkook appeared.


JK POV

 

Jungkook had been dragging ever since the flight home from America. At first he attributed this to the concert and near immediate flight back to Korea. But the fact that he had been unable to get the face of that girl from the plane out of his head, coupled with the dizziness and headaches, made him think that he wasn’t mistaken about the sensations he felt when his hand had touched hers.

 

That morning, Hobi had wanted to go over the new choreo for one of the songs on their upcoming album. And even though he felt like he was dragging through quicksand, he had agreed. They had drilled the dance all morning until his muscles ached. And in the last hour he had been more distracted than ever. 

 

He felt like his mind and body were being pulled away from the practice room. Like his subconscious was telling him to get out of there. To walk through the door right now! But he gritted his teeth and tried to keep going, despite Hobi’s growing frustration.

 

JK, what is up with you today? Where is your head?! ” Hoseok complained loudly after the 10th run through of the same section. Jungkook couldn’t blame him for being frustrated. If he’d been in Hobi’s shoes, he’d be upset too. Jimin tried to soothe Hoseok’s anger, but Jungkook interrupted.

 

No, hyung. He’s right. My head is somewhere else. But I can’t seem to get it together. It’s like my head and feet are constantly looking for that girl all the time, and I can’t seem to bring them to focus on what’s happening right now.”

 

Alright. Well, let’s take a quick break. Go get some water and we’ll start again in 10, ” Hobi sighed in frustration. Jungkook went to drink from his water bottle, only to find it empty. 

 

And then he finally gave in to his unconscious desire to walk through that door. When he stepped out, he could have sworn he heard footsteps walking away. He briefly considered following the sound, before he felt the compulsion fade away. He shook his head and then went to refill his water bottle.

 

When he returned to the dance practice, it seemed like he’d gotten his head screwed on right and they were able to get a few clean run throughs. Hobi seemed to be satisfied and told him he’d see him back at the dorm later that evening. 

 

Jungkook checked his phone as he gathered his things to leave. He had a missed call and text from their manager, Sejin. 

 

Sejin: Jungkook, we’ve found her. She’s coming to meet with me soon. Please join us in my office around 5:30 PM. I’ll text you when we’re ready for you.

 

Jungkook’s heart suddenly decided to relocate itself into his throat. He checked the time, only to realize that it was 5:00 PM. It can’t hurt if I’m a little early, can it, Jungkook thought to himself. He decided it probably wouldn’t, so he hastily wiped the sweat away from his face before hurrying off to Sejin’s office.

 

The closer he got to Sejin’s office, the more he felt that phantom puppet string pulling him closer and closer to Sejin’s door. She must be in there already, he thought. He checks his watch. Still only 5:05. But I thought the meeting was supposed to start at 5:30, he mused. He decided to open the door, just to check. 

 

When he stuck his head through the doorway, his eyes found hers. And his heart decided to relocate once again. Only this time he was sure that his heart sat in the chair across the room from him.

Chapter 3

Summary:

In which you sign a lot of contracts and lose an earring.

Notes:

As usual, anything written in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You turned in your seat and stared, wide eyed, at Jungkook’s sudden appearance. A small surprised smile unconsciously tugged at the corners of your lips and just like on the airplane, you couldn’t believe that you were there with him. With Jeon Jungkook.

He caught your glance quickly before looking somewhere else. Anywhere but at you. 

It seemed that your presence in Sejin’s office was on the same level of importance to Jungkook, as the potted fica in the corner. It stung. So you try to tear your eyes away from his face. But the rest of him demanded your attention instead.

His hair was damp and it looked like he’d just left dance practice. His shirt, though oversized, clung to his frame, dampened with the sweat of his dancing from earlier. You could just make out the muscular definition of his shoulders and your brain temporarily short circuited. You just sat there, open mouthed, staring at the beautiful idol in front of you.

Miss? ” Sejin called. You hadn’t realized he’d asked you a question. You cleared your throat before turning around to face the manager.

I-I’m sorry, what? ” you stammered out.

The contracts? ” he mumbled.

You stare at the stack of papers in front of you, brain finally catching up. You’re not quite sure what he’s expecting of you. Did he think you’d suddenly change your mind about wanting to read them over before signing them, just because Jungkook walked in? 

You picked up the contracts and started perusing them again. Several other red flags pop out at you in addition to the exclusivity clause. As you continued to speed read through, you realized that there was no way you could sign these as is. You looked up at Sejin, who looked thoroughly nervous and twitchy.

There’s absolutely no way I’m signing this right now. I’ll go through it later tonight and I’ll get back to you with my changes. There’s no way I’m signing something that is forcing me to completely abandon my whole life, telling me where to live, who I can talk to, where I can work... Will I have to ask permission to sneeze, now too?” you said with a tiny bit of venom in your voice. 

The bitterness of having your life completely out of your control was entirely distasteful to you. Once upon a time, you had experienced what it felt like to have your life dictated by someone else’s whims. And you had no intention of ever letting someone have that kind of power over you again. Never.

Sejin looked at you, mortified. You think about how this must look from Jungkook’s side before stealing a glance back at him. You see his brow screwed up in confusion.

What’s she talking about, manager-nim? ” Jungkook let go of the doorframe, walking farther into the room. You wondered briefly if it’s because he felt the tugging towards you, like you did for him, or if it’s just to get out of the doorway. 

Sejin looked like a man trapped. A part of you feels a little amount of sympathy for him. He clearly wants to protect Jungkook. But he must also want to keep him blissfully unaware of what was done to create that bubble of protection.

Sejin stuttered out something about NDA’s and some bullshit about protecting you. You could smell that load of crap coming from a mile away and started to get a bit riled up. 

But before you can argue, Jungkook says angrily, “ Contracts, hyung? I don’t really care if she signs it or not. As long as she doesn’t talk to any of the gossip rags about this, I don’t care what she does.

Ouch.

He didn’t care? He didn’t care about what you did? So did that mean he wouldn’t care if you decided to stay in LA? Would he follow you, then? That’s a dumb question. Of course he wouldn’t follow you. That would interfere with BTS. 

Your head was spinning. The seeming rejection before you had even had a chance to talk to him, deflated the secret growing hope you’d been carefully trying to avoid thinking about. Hope that you could have a relationship with him. Hope that you’d both fall madly in love with each other. Hope that one day, you could sing in harmony with each other.

You peaked at Jungkook once more to find him dropping his gaze to his fingers knotted in his lap. He looked so uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because of you, you realized.

You started to think about it from his point of view. He was probably worried you might be some crazy sasaeng fan. He doesn’t know anything about you and because of his public life, incorporating you into that, couldn’t be an easy thing. He probably saw this as a huge hassle.

You decided to at least assuage his fears about the media at the very least.

I won’t talk to the media or post about this, I promise ,” you say gently, looking over at Jungkook.

He finally held your gaze, and watched your face before nodding, saying, ” Thank you.

You wrapped up the meeting as fast as possible, bowed to both men in the office and practically ran out of the office, leaving them both behind. You were sure they had a lot to talk about. 

 

You looked in your purse at the bundle of papers with dread. You were going to have a long night ahead of you. You were speed walking out of the building to put as much distance between you and the awkwardness of the meeting as possible. 

It wasn’t until halfway back to the hotel that you remembered you still hadn’t gotten a yes or no from Sejin about your suit yet, and smacked your forehead. You had meetings all morning tomorrow and would need it!

You decided to just find a dress and blazer and call it good. You apologized to the cab driver and asked that he take you to the nearest shopping mall instead. He nodded and dropped you off 10 minutes later in front of theTimes Square mall. 

You ended up finding a beautiful black a-line dress with a fitted bodice and box pleats in the skirt that flash with hidden panels of white as the skirt moves. You pair it with a gorgeous cropped white blazer and in a fit of indulgence, a pair of black and white Louboutin heels. You had always wanted a pair of the designer heels with their iconic red soles, but could never quite bring yourself to pull the trigger. But after the disappointment you experienced today, you were in serious need of retail therapy.

When you got back to your hotel that evening, you decided to put on your new outfit and take a picture in the floor to ceiling mirror in your suite. You send a selfie to your sister Megan, knowing she’ll be up that early with her kiddos.

You: What do you think?

Sis: That looks incredible! Are you going to a wedding or something?

You: No, my suit for my meetings was ruined on the way to Seoul and this was the best replacement option I could find. Is it too fancy for business?

Sis: Maybe, but either way you look amazing in it, so WERK!

You laughed at the gif she sent of the three Schuyler sisters from Hamilton, snapping. 

You: I also have something I need to ask… Do you have a minute to talk?

Your sister didn’t bother sending a text back. Instead, your screen lights up with her name and face. You quickly swiped over to answer the call.

“So, have you met your Korean Prince Charming already? Damn, woman, that was fast!” she snarks. You were pretty sure that she was joking. But when you said yes, the line went silent for a moment.

“It was on the plane and we happened to barely touch one another and now I don’t know what to do! He doesn’t seem to want this!” you moaned. She considered it for a moment.

“Have you thought that maybe the reason he’s acting this way is because he was in a relationship already? This has got to be a huge adjustment for him, if so,” she said gently.

You hadn’t considered this. You weren’t naive enough to think that just because there was no news of a girlfriend or a relationship, that idols didn’t date. Especially BTS. They were literally one of the music world’s hottest commodities. They probably had both women and men offering themselves up at every turn.

But somehow, you don’t think this is the case for Jungkook. His face wasn’t one of a man torn between two options. His face was one of complete disinterest. One that clearly said he didn’t want this at all. Perhaps it was really good that you’d insisted on removing the exclusivity agreement from the contracts. All signs pointed to a platonic connection between you two.

“No, I don’t think that’s it. You should’ve seen the way he looked at me, Megan. It was like I was the biggest inconvenience of his life and that he couldn’t believe he had to deal with this right now.”

“Well, maybe he’s still processing. I mean, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting it and then there’s the whole issue of how to go about blending your lives together. I'm sure he doesn’t want to pick up and move to a country where he doesn’t speak the language just as much as you wouldn’t enjoy uprooting your life in Los Angeles. Give it some time. Try to talk to him. I know you can do it. And thank goodness you aren’t having to deal with a language barrier on top of everything else! Can you imagine?!” your sister intoned.

You sighed. “Ugh, you’re probably right. I’ll try to give him another chance. But if that loser keeps looking at me like I’m an annoying insect, I’m gonna riot!” you pouted.

“I’d cut him a little slack, sweetie. I mean, this person is going to be with you for the rest of your life. You wouldn’t want to start the relationship off on the wrong foot. Go slowly. Try to get to know him and don’t make any rash decisions. You don’t want to risk losing one of your senses,” she urged.

You go quiet at this. For some reason, it had never occurred to you that this was for forever. As in permanent. ‘Til death do us part, which was often not long since often soulmates tended to waste away once their mates passed. But your boat was forever more tied to JK’s whether you liked it or not. Well, that’s not true exactly, you thought. It is, unless you want to lose your ability to see, smell, taste, touch or worst of all to you, to hear. The thought makes you shiver.

The rest of the conversation, however, is spent catching up on the latest goings on with your nieces and nephews, the things of normal day to day life. It’s nice to forget your current predicament and get wrapped up in the argument between two of your nieces over who gets to be Princess Glitter Sparkle and who is the maid. You smile at the high pitched voices of children squabbling in the background. 

Your sister said she needed to get the little kids off to preschool now and that she’ll call you again soon to get updates on the soulmate situation. You hang up the phone feeling a little more prepared to actually dive into all the contracts sitting there, waiting for you on your desk. Giving the odious stack of papers the stink eye, you walked over and sat down, trying to get comfortable. 

“Ok. Let’s do this,” you sighed to yourself before spending most of the night reading and annotating the contracts

 

The next morning, you stopped by Sejin’s office on your way to your meetings and dropped off the revised contracts for him to approve. The NDA had been fairly straight forward, so you signed that with the only stipulations being that you could talk to your sister and your friends. You provided Sejin with their contact information so they too, could sign an NDA.

You then told him your issues with the contract. You had come to the decision that it would be easiest for all parties involved, for you to move to Korea. First, it would allow him to continue his work within BTS as usual, and second that he didn’t speak English quite as well as you spoke Korean. So you’d made peace with the fact that you’d likely be living in South Korea for the rest of your life.

But when it came to almost everything else, you’d pushed back. You refused to quit your job. One of the perks of working as a narrator was that as long as you had your mic and a computer, you could get your work done. This would allow you to conceivably follow BTS around the world, but also allow you some independence and purpose, rather than just trail after them like a dog. 

You also refused to sign anything regarding the company having any say in what you wore, where you went or who you chose to interact with. You had signed the NDA and that should be enough to trust you to be an adult and make good decisions about how you spent your time. You’d never willingly do anything to harm your soulmate whether or not you had a romantic relationship with him, so the company should trust that you’d make the best decisions possible.

And finally, you told him that you insisted on having the exclusivity agreement removed completely. You gave Sejin the stink eye while referring to the fact that it could be possible that your bond was platonic and that you refused to willingly smother any chances of finding romantic love one day. 

Sejin did not take this very well. 

But, in the end he said he’d send everything to the legal department and that he’d let you know as soon as the updated contracts were ready to sign. He also slid over a small metallic card.

This is for you. For… maintenance, ” Sejin muttered, looking slightly abashed.

You picked up the dark silver card, noting how much heavier it seemed than a normal credit card. It must be made of metal , you thought. There were literally no words on the card. Just barely visible numbers, the chip and the strip. 

You couldn’t figure out what “maintenance” meant, but asked if you could have the information about the card to be able to pay the bills. Sejin just shook his head and said, “ No, the company will take care of it. Just, don’t go crazy. ” 

He gave you the stink eye after that. You tucked the card into your purse, thinking it would be easier to take it with no intention of using it, than to refuse him. But part of you wished you’d had this sucker when you bought those heels yesterday.

You left Sejin’s office not long after that, needing to get to your meetings and get some recording done that day.

 

Apparently the only thing you came to Korea to do, you thought later, was sign contracts. You had been sitting in this office for over 3 hours now, going over the employment contracts and the temporary employment visa applications. Your head was beginning to throb again, your attention wandering. All you wanted was to be anywhere other than sitting in this chair. You wanted to get up. To walk through that door and… And what, you thought? You grimaced in confusion.

You politely asked if you could have a little break to use the restroom and stretch your legs. They happily agreed, apologizing for the meeting taking so long. You thankfully rose, and practically sprinted out the door, relishing in the movement of limbs held still for too long. 

As you walked towards the restroom, you felt that faint tugging growing stronger, and quickly at that. Confused, you turned the corner. Only to end up running smack into Jungkook.

Both of you sprung back, surprised at the sudden appearance of someone you hadn’t expected. You take in Jungkook’s appearance, and your breath is momentarily caught in your throat. Up to this point, all of your interactions with him had been with him dressed down and bare faced. Even barefaced, his beauty was undeniable. Often prompting you to lament why you couldn’t be that pretty as well.

But all your interactions hadn’t prepared you for this. Face immaculately made up, clothes impeccably coordinated, and hair styled back away from his face. Exposed forehead. You were done for.

Oh! Sorry! ” you blurted at the same time Jungkook said, “ Pardon me.”

You both looked awkwardly at one another for a moment before you piped up.

You look nice. Are you doing a photoshoot today? ” You figured you might as well try to break some of the ice surrounding the both of you.

Oh, uh, thank you. No, we're filming something today,” he responded.

Oh, that’s nice, ” you said. There was an awkward pause before you started again. “ Do you like doing video shoots? ” You could’ve kicked yourself for asking such an inane question.

Yes, ” he adds, somewhat unhelpfully.

That’s good. What’s it for? ” you probed.

A commercial.

Cool. A commercial for what? ” you asked, trying to coax a bit more out of him.

Beer, ” he said quickly.

Interesting. ” Another long pause ensued. 

You know, I’ve always wondered if actors are actually drinking alcohol when they’re filming commercials for stuff like that, ” you continued brightly, trying to get the conversation flowing..

No, ” he answered quickly. It seemed like he was getting annoyed by the conversation, as he started looking around everywhere except your face, his weight shifting from foot to foot.

That makes sense, I guess. Wouldn’t want the actors to actually get drunk in the middle of filming, ” you laughed. Your smile turned sour the longer the two of you stood there. You decided to end your misery as quickly as possible.

Well, sorry to keep you. I’m sure you’re needed elsewhere and I need to get back to my meeting. Good luck with filming! Hwaiting! ” you ended lamely before turning around to walk back to your meeting.

Weren’t you headed the other way? ” Jungkook pointed out, much to your mortification.

Haha! You’re right! ” you forced out. You turned around again, and sped towards the bathroom you’d never actually gotten to. You gave Jungkook a wide berth as you passed him. He turned around as you walked around him, following you with his eyes.

You kept heading towards the bathroom, practically running at this point. You burst through the bathroom door and immediately let out the breath you had been holding, yelling in frustration. 

How dumb were you?! You knew he didn’t want to talk to you and yet you tried to strike up a conversation anyway? Like you were best buddies or something?! You buried your face in your hands as you let out a groan. This was probably going down in history as your most awkward conversation of all time. And, of course, it was with someone you’d see every day for the rest of your life. He’d probably never let you live it down. You knew you wouldn’t! Remember that time that you babbled on about whether actors drink alcohol while filming?! Ha ha! Classic! The thought made your stomach clench nervously.

You moved to the sink and splashed some water on your face. You stared at yourself in the mirror, bending over to brace your hands on the sink, before yelling out loud, “Why?! Why were you so stupid?! He hasn’t tried to talk to you before, so why would you think he wants to now?! You idiot!”

You knew you were being loud, but you didn’t care. You were completely frustrated and embarrassed and you had to release that pent up energy somehow. 

You finally sighed, and dropped your head to your chest. And taking a deep breath, you pulled yourself upright, squared your shoulders, and took a final look in the mirror.

“Get it together!” you ground out to your reflection. 

It wasn’t until then that you noticed that one of your earrings was missing. It was one of your favorites too. It was a long, thin chain attached to an ear cuff that was studded with crystals. You usually threaded it behind another stud to help keep it in place, as it often fell out when you wore it by itself. But you had decided it looked better on it’s own that morning.

You silently cursed at the loss and decided to retrace your steps in hopes of finding it. You sincerely hoped that Jungkook had moved on by now, not wanting to run into him again, furthering your mortification.

You left the bathroom, only to find Jungkook leaning against the wall next the door. 

He looked up at your face and pulled away from the wall. 

I think you dropped this, ” he said, holding out your earring towards you. 

Shit. Had he heard you ranting to yourself in the bathroom?! You panicked.

Oh! ” You looked at your earring dangling from his beautiful fingers. “ Um, I don’t think that’s not mine! Sorry, I’ve gotta… ” you trailed off. You decided it was safest at this point to head back to your meeting where you were sure he couldn’t follow. You set off at a quick pace, eager to put as much distance between you and this embarrassing interaction as possible.

But… ” Jungkook started.

Really, it’s not mine! I’ll see you around Jungkook! ” you shot over your shoulder, still trying to get as far away as possible.

What you didn’t see as you sprinted away, was Jungkook’s small smile as he watched your escape. He pocketed the earring and murmured, “ Cute.

Notes:

Ok friends, how are we doing? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Also, I don't expect to be able to post three chapter a week moving forward, but I will try my absolute best to get chapters out in a timely manner. There is nothing I hate more than starting a story only to realize they haven't updated in over a year and I need to know what happens next. Haha!

Also, the first real conversation between you and JK was inspired by my actual first conversation with my husband. We didn't talk about filming or beer, but his monosyllabic answers were pretty much the same. I almost completely wrote my hubby off after that! Ha ha!! It's lucky he's really cute.

Chapter 4

Summary:

In which you finally sign all those contracts, meet two more members, attempt to rap, and have a bad night.

Notes:

***TRIGGER WARNING - PTSD FLASHBACK OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE***

I hadn't really expected this to come out like this, but it did and I felt I needed to put a trigger warning on this one. The descriptions are by no means graphic, but as someone who has dealt with PTSD triggers coming out of nowhere and knocking you sideways, I figured it was better to put a warning on this one. It's at the very end and I will mark it so you can skip over it if you need.

The TL;DR version of the scene is that your ex-husband is a douche canoe who emotionally abused you and forced you to do things you'd rather not. He made you feel worthless and used that as leverage to try to keep you with him.

As always, anything written in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The rest of the day went by relatively incident free. By this point you started to notice a pattern to your headaches. They were near constant at this point. Except when you ran into JK, they seemed to retreat for a while, giving you a brief respite from the pounding. You had then realized that the headaches and brain fog were actually related to your soulmate connection. 

Or rather your lack of connection. 

Any time you were near him, you were left with a pep in your step. Like you’d downed a giant espresso, but without all the jitters. You felt lighter and had energy to spare. It made you look forward to spending more time around Jungkook for the mere fact that you just physically felt better when he was around. 

It definitely had nothing to do with being around the incredibly talented and incredibly handsome man. No, definitely not that.

But until those contracts were signed, Sejin wasn’t letting you anywhere near Jungkook. As much as you suffered, you imagined his pain was worse because of how active he was. You hoped he wasn’t pushing himself too hard.

The next day found you in the recording studios again. And once again, you were driving the struggle bus. At one point you actually wished you could have a repeat of your awkward encounter outside the bathroom again, just so you could focus and crank this book out.

 

At lunch, you sat in the cafeteria, looking at your meal with sorrow. While the food looked amazing, your body was rebelling. You felt so sick to your stomach that you knew that if you tried to force anything down, it would just come right back up.

You held your head in your hands, elbows propped up on the table. Tears started to gather in the corners of your eyes, when you noticed the sounds of the cafeteria seeming to be drowned out by a faint ringing in your ears. It was as if the room were being slowly lowered into water, turning muffled and muddy. 

You panicked. Your head snapped up, hands immediately coming up to rub your ears. And the first real slither of fear appeared in the pit of your stomach. Was this the start of a soulmate bond rejection? Surely not. You should have more time! 

A part of you wondered if Sejin was waiting for this to happen. Planning on leveraging your rejection to force your hand into signing those damn contracts. 

You pulled out your phone to call the manager, wanting to give him a piece of your mind, when it felt like the room suddenly brightened and your hearing returned to normal. 

And that’s when you noticed the small tugging feeling again. You turned to see Jungkook enter the cafeteria. His eyes were scanning for something and when he found you, he started making his way over.

Jungkook stood in front of you in oversized sweats and a t-shirt. That boy could be wearing a paper bag and still look like he had stepped out of a fashion magazine , you thought as Jungkook said, “ Sejin wants to see us. ” 

You gestured for him to sit, but he just shook his head. Instead, the chair in front of you was pulled out by someone you hadn’t noticed. And a set of broad shoulders filled your field of view. Jin plopped himself into the chair and leaned over to look at your lunch.

“The food here, good,” Jin said in stilted English. He shot you a worldwide handsome smile.

I’m sure it is, but my stomach doesn’t feel very good right now. It’s a shame to waste it, though. Would you like some? ” You offered your tray to the oldest member of BTS, who took it with relish and started to pick at the pork belly and the kimchi fried rice.

Jungkook, who was still standing across the table from you, looked at his bandmate with exasperation. And was that embarrassment, too? You swear it’s the most emotion you’ve seen on him since the mortification he showed the plane ride 4 days ago.

Jin-hyung, stop eating her food! Why did you follow me anyway? ” he complained to Jin. He looked like he wanted to say something else to you, but Jin’s presence seemed to have prevented him from doing so

Jin put a piece of kimchi in his mouth and said, “ Forgive our rude maknae. He has no manners.

An exasperated, “ Hyung! ” interrupted Jin’s apologies.

Yah! I came because I was worried you would forget how to get back to the practice room! Your head has been all over the place today and clearly, you cannot be trusted to find your own way, ” Jin scolded. He then gave you an appreciative smile. “Plus, I wanted to meet this mysterious soulmate of yours. I’m Kim Seokjin, by the way. It’s nice to meet you, ” Jin said, holding out a hand for you to shake, supported by his other hand in the Korean fashion.

You inwardly chuckled at the scolding Jin handed down to his dongaeng. You took Jin’s proffered hand and stood, supporting your own arm like he did and bowed slightly as you exchanged pleasantries. You decided you liked Jin already. 

Please, don’t feel you have to speak formally to me, even if I am older than you ,” you told Jin.

Really?! How old are you, noona? ” Jin blurted out.

I think I’m a year older than you. I was born in 1991, ” you said with a smile. You flicked a glance over at Jungkook, who looked decidedly Jungshook. 

You could see a slight pink flush splashed across his cheeks. Was he embarrassed by his friend or was he disappointed by the age difference? You couldn’t tell. You hadn’t gotten a chance to really talk to each other yet, so you wondered if your age came as a surprise to him.

Well that is interesting! ” Jin sang out as he slid a knowing look at Jungkook. Jungkook, however, looked like he had swallowed a bug. “ Well, I shall leave you two lovebirds behind. I trust you’ll keep our Kook out of trouble, noona? ” Jin questioned jocularly, rising from his seat.

You nodded, smiling. “ It was really lovely meeting you, Seokjin-ssi! ” you called out to his retreating figure. 

And as he walked away, he sent a flying kiss in your direction. You laughed, and pretended to catch and treasure it. Jin laughed in return as he left the cafeteria.

Your attention was then brought back to the young man still standing in front of you. He was shooting an irritated look after his hyung. But when he turned back to you, his face smoothed out into the expressionlessness you had come to expect. He continued to wait, silently. Clearly hoping you’d get the message and follow him. You sighed as you picked up your tray and told Jungkook to lead the way. 

 

In Sejin’s office, you sign the rest of the contracts, the legal department accepting all the changes you had suggested. 

As you got up to return to your work, Sejin stopped you.

When would you like to bring your belongings over to the dorm? ” Sejin questioned.

Uh, my guess is the sooner the better? I’m sure being around each other more will help things, uh... get better ,” you stammered.  “Tonight is my last night in the hotel anyway. Could I move in tomorrow? ” you asked, wanting one last night all to yourself, headache be damned.

Sejin nodded. Jungkook looked as unbothered as always. You wished you could get some kind of emotional gauge on him. But he continued to wear his mask of indifference. 

But even with Jungkook’s seeming disinterest, you left the meeting feeling a small thrill. Tomorrow you’d be moving into the BTS dorm! And hopefully you’d get a handle on these headaches.

You headed back to the recording studio after your meeting with Sejin and Jungkook and noticed that your head is feeling clearer having spent a good chunk of time near Jungkook. In fact, the entire afternoon is spent in blissful, headache free peace. You wondered if this reprieve was a result of him being nearby in the building. Either way, you hoped that wherever he was, he stayed nearby until you were done with your recording.

 

JK POV

Jungkook was slated to record the main vocals and backing tracks for their upcoming album after his meeting with Sejin and his soulmate. He had been so nervous around her, not knowing exactly how he should be acting. Opting for careful reservedness instead of showing what he really felt. 

Which was him as a ball of nerves.

He worried about so many things. How was this going to impact the group? How would this change things with his brothers? How would he be able to go on tour with her? How would ARMY take the news of his soulmate status? How would he be able to juggle his desire to keep his private life private, when he led such a public life already?

But mostly, he was nervous because of how much he already wanted to impress her. How much he wanted to take care of her. To protect her. And he barely even knew her! He didn’t want to come on too strong and scare her. So for now, he was trying to be good and give her space, instead of rushing into affection like an overexcited puppy. 

But he had nearly lost it when he found out that she was older than him. He’d always secretly hoped his soulmate would be older than him. After all, his mom was older than his dad and he wanted to have a love like theirs. How could he have been so lucky as to be able to call his soulmate “noona” like he’d always dreamed?

After their meeting he had hoped to strike up a conversation with her, especially given how he had choked during their last conversation by the bathroom. But she had disappeared without a backward glance. He realized they both had jobs they needed to do, but he had hoped they could have at least had a small moment together first.

He had also noticed that his headache and the ringing in his ears seemed to go away whenever she was around. Which made him crave her company even more. The ringing in his ears had been particularly difficult to deal with. It prevented him from singing on pitch and caused him to mess up in their dance practices. While his brothers had been understanding of his difficulties, they were still frustrated all the same.

So when he headed to the recording studio with dread, thinking about how difficult the whole afternoon would be, he was surprised by the lack of headaches and ringing once he got into the booth. 

He’d been able to lay down quite a bit in Yoongi-hyung’s studio, helping the producer finish a few songs and tweaking a few more. He felt like ideas came to him so easily, that everything he tried seemed effortless. The feeling was incredible and he wondered how he could hold onto this longer.

When he and Yoongi finished up at the end of the day, they headed out together. Yoongi’s Genius Lab was at the end of a long row of recording studios. And as he passed by the booth next to Yoongi’s, he noticed the lights on. He peaked in to see if it was one of his hoobae’s from TXT or Enhypen working, thinking to pop in and give them some encouragement. 

He was completely surprised to see his soulmate in the booth instead, headphones on and talking into the microphone. He vaguely remembered Sejin mentioning she had come to Korea for work as a voice actor. The sight had him immediately enchanted, his feet planted on the spot.

When Yoongi realized the maknae was no longer walking with him, he backtracked to see what his friend was looking at. He looked in the window to find Jungkook’s soulmate recording something. He also saw Jungkook completely frozen, mesmerized by the scene in front of him and an idea hit him.

Let’s go in and listen, ” Yoongi suggested.

Jungkook, being brought out of his reverie, hesitated only briefly before deciding to indulge his curiosity. Especially since you were turned partially away from the window separating the recording space from the engineer’s booth. She’d never know he was there, listening to her work. Does this make me a pervert, he thought worriedly as he followed Yoongi-hyung inside.

The two boys bowed to the director and sound engineer as they entered, asking them if they could listen in for a moment. The director graciously waved them in to sit on the couch at the side of the room. Jungkook was thankful that while he could see her from his vantage point, it would be difficult for her to notice that he was there. He didn’t want to interrupt her.

And so he listened for a few minutes as she told a beautiful story. He couldn’t help but crinkle his nose up in a smile every time she messed up and made a funny noise, or how she would all of sudden stop and tell herself that breathing wasn’t optional after taking a huge breath. She clearly loved what she was doing and he loved watching her do it.

When she finished for the day, she turned to the director. Jungkook quickly ducked out of sight, bringing Yoongi down with him. 

Would it be ok if I stayed behind for a few minutes in the booth? I’d like to sing as my cool down today and who knows if I’ll get the chance to sing again, ” she asked.

Yoongi glared at Jungkook as the younger man held onto his neck holding him down.

If you’d like to keep that hand, I suggest you let go, ” Yoongi growled. 

Jungkook ignored his hyung and shot a worried look at the director. He was silently asking Jungkook and Yoongi for permission. Jungkook frantically motioned that it would be fine. The director, looking a little confused as to why Jungkook and Yoongi were folded over, hiding, told her that it would be fine and asked if there was any music she wanted cued up.

She declined, saying she’d use her phone. The director and sound engineer bowed to her and then confusedly to Jungkook and Yoongi as they left the booth. Jungkook finally straightened up when she turned back to the microphone, Yoongi sighing in relief at being allowed to unfold himself. 

Both boys watched as you were searching for something on your phone. The song she started stopped Jungkook’s heart momentarily, before it took off at a breakneck pace. 

Her voice floated over the opening notes of “Still With You” and Jungkook listened with rapt attention. He sat listening to you sing the words of his song and his mind instantly filled with visions of the two of you singing together one day, your voices complementing one another and lifting each other up.

As you finished the song, Jungkook realized there were tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. He quickly dashed them away before Yoongi could notice and tease him for it later. He had almost forgotten his hyung was sitting next to him.

Jungkook sat with anticipation, wanting to hear more from you, wondering which song you’ll sing next. He selfishly wanted to hear more of his songs on your lips. Euphoria, maybe? My Time?

She has a very nice voice ,” Yoongi admitted, casting a glance over to Jungkook and finding him completely entranced by the woman in the booth.

Jungkook stood up to get closer to her when the next song came on. It completely caught him by surprise. 

It was the opening fanfare for Daechwita. 

Daechwita?!

Jungkook looked back at Yoongi, who looked back with a shit-eating grin. Jungkook scowled at his hyung. Yoongi got up to join Jungkook by the control panel. 

Yoongi’s grin only grew wider as they both watched her start to bounce and dance inside the booth, getting pumped to start the rap.

Jungkook wasn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t what actually came from her mouth. Her attempts at the producer’s rap were meager at best and she fumbled her way through the lyrics. But it wasn’t until she got to the fast section of the song that both the boys broke out in laughter, bouncing right along with you. Jungkook was transfixed, smiling like a fool.

And it was at that moment that Jungkook leaned forward, trying to get a little closer, that he hit the intercom button, spilling the boy’s laughter into the headphones sitting over her ears.

She turned suddenly, eyes wide at the unexpected laughter, completely taken by surprise.

Jungkook immediately realized his mistake and sobered up quickly. He elbowed Yoongi to do the same. She looked horrified and Jungkook immediately felt terrible. 

“I’m so sorry! I was just unwinding after a long day. They told me I could stay behind to sing a bit. I’m sorry!” she gushed, forgetting to speak Korean, she was so flustered.

Yoongi held down the button to speak to her and Jungkook was grateful. Jungkook wishes that the ground would just open and swallow him up already. She caught him laughing at her. He felt so embarrassed to be caught spying. She probably hated him now. Way to go, dumbass , he thought.

Don’t let us stop you! You were doing great! ” Yoongi chuckled, catching the gist of what she said, even if he couldn’t understand all of it. His English was much better than most people realized, after all.

I’m so, so sorry! Really! I swear I got permission! ” she stammered out again. She grabbed her things and headed to the control room, head drooping with humiliation. 

Jungkook straightened, still unable to form words yet and wondered how on Earth he would fix this gaffe. And was surprised at just how much he wanted to fix it. How else would he be able to get closer to her? 

 

Your POV

 

You could not believe they heard you trying to rap. You were mortified. You love Daechwita, but rapping was hard enough already, let alone trying to rap in a foreign language! And you can’t believe Yoongi sat there and listened to you butcher his own song. Mortification was not a strong enough word for what you felt.

You headed out to the control room where your bias and bias wrecker waited for you. “ I am so embarrassed! I just love Daechwita so much! It’s one of my favorite songs. How much of it did you hear?! ” you moaned.

We caught the last little bit of your narration. You did a good job on that, ’ Jungkook piped up, happy to have a reason to speak.

Oh, so you’re telling me that my current level of shame isn’t enough. Cool. Not only did you hear my poor attempts at both of your songs, but you also heard me butcher that book. Awesome… ” The words just tumbled from your mouth, fueled by your nerves. You covered your eyes with a hand and let out a sigh that bordered on a whimper. 

I thought you sounded pretty good. You have a very nice voice. Kook’s song sounded great. Your future as a rapper, though… ” Yoongi paused, sucking on his teeth. “ Probably best you stick to books and ballads, ” the rapper chuckled.

When you still held your hand over your face, Yoongi reached over to tap your elbow.

Hey, I mean it. Would you ever want to do some backing vocals for us? Harmonies and stuff, I mean. I’m always looking for more samples, ” Yoongi asked.

You dropped your hands from your face to look Yoongi in the eyes. Your stomach did a little flip at his offer. Sing with BTS?! You had daydreamed about this so many times. But you had been certain it would never come to fruition. 

The surreality of your current situation hit you all over again. How was it possible that you were a soulmate to one of the members of BTS? That you were able to just casually be in the same room as two of them like it was nothing? It was like you were sitting in one of your wildest fanfic realties come true.

As much as I would actually love that, I don’t know that my voice fits in with the BTS sound, ” you tried to dismiss.

Hyung wouldn’t have offered it if he didn’t think it was something that would work, ” Jungkook reassured. He tried holding your gaze, but couldn’t seem to do it for long. He nervously looked around the room.

Yoongi hmmed at this, nodding his head in agreement. He added, “ So we were headed home when we saw the light on in here. Could we take you back to your hotel? ” 

Jugkook looked surprised at his friend’s offer. Surprised, but not all together unhappy about it you noticed.

OK, let me grab my things, ” you said hesitantly, still feeling some of the shame from your butchery of Daechwita.

The three of you headed to the elevators. When you got in Yoongi stood in the back in the middle, somewhat forcing you and Jungkook to stand side by side in front of him. You suspected this was on purpose, especially when you caught the smirk he wore on his face as he looked at the ground. You wouldn’t have pegged Yoongi as the sneaky romantic in the group, but you made a note to yourself to be a bit more wary of the oldest rapper in the future.

Jungkook fidgeted and restlessly swayed back and forth on the entire ride down. His nervous energy was starting to make you feel keyed up and you had to squeeze your hands together to stop you from picking at your nails. A habit that sometimes reared its ugly head when you were nervous.

You snuck glances at Jungkook over your shoulder, but then the minute you would see him turn to look at you, you’d look away. And when he saw you start to look his way, his eyes would dart elsewhere. It became a game of how fast each of you could look away from each other. 

But, you had to admit that being so close to him in the elevator felt incredible. You could almost sense the nebulous soulmate bond swirl around you, trying to coalesce into something more concrete. 

Maybe there was something romantic about elevators after all.

But just when it seemed to be settling, the elevator doors opened and broke the magic of the moment.

Neither you nor Jungkook seemed to want to move first, frozen in the moment. It wasn’t until Yoongi cleared his throat, bringing you rudely back to reality, that you jumped and hurried out of the elevator first. 

You headed out to the front of the building to catch a cab when Yoongi spoke up.

Aren’t you coming? ” He looked at you in askance.

You looked back at the two men, confused. They stood in front of the elevators going down to the parking deck.

Our car is this way. Yoongi and I drove together today,” Jungkook added hopefully.

Oh, I just figured I would catch a cab back, ” you explained.

We offered to take you back, though, ” Jungkook said, looking a bit confused.

I guess I thought you were just going to walk me out. It’s really ok! I can get back to the hotel on my own, ” you added.

Let us take you back,” Yoongi said. “It’ll give us a chance to get to know you a bit. ” He smiled and jerked his head for you to follow.

You hesitated. You weren’t sure if you should go with them, but when you saw the hope and tentative excitement on Jungkook’s face, you relented. Something had changed in him, but you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. It made you want to spend more time with him, to try to figure him out.

Plus, you figured the more time you spent around him, the longer your headache would stay away.

You headed out to the employee parking lot where you could definitely tell the difference between the talent’s parking and the staff’s. Jungkook led the three of you over to an expensive looking Mercedes Benz. You caught the look that Yoongi shot to the maknae and quietly chuckled when Jungkook sprung forward to open your door for you. 

You thanked him and sank into the front seat, as Yoongi climbed into the back and Jungkook rounded the car to get into the driver’s seat.

As Jungkook pulled into traffic, he asked where you were staying. You gave him the hotel’s address and the car lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

Yoongi came to the rescue again, breaking the silence. “ So, soulmates… That’s got to be a big change. ” 

Yeah. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it, ” you admitted, flashing a glance at Jungkook. You tried to gauge his reaction, but he just looked very focused on driving.

I’ll bet. So, I want to hear the story from your side. This kid didn’t share very many details. Just said, ‘I have a soulmate’ and that was pretty much it ,” Yoongi chuckled. Jungkook shot his hyung a pleading glare in the rearview mirror.

Well, I was headed to the restroom on the plane and Namjoon was blocking the aisle. I asked him if he could let me by and as he scooted, he knocked into Jungkook’s arm. He was holding a cup of coffee and it spilled all over me and my suit. Oh, my poor suit! It will never be the same, ” you jokingly lamented.

Jungkook shot you an alarmed look.

Shit, was that important to you? I’m so sorry! ” he blurted out, worried.

Not really. It was my only suit and I had a bunch of meetings I had to attend. But I was able to figure something out, so really, it’s ok. It just happened to be my favorite.” You turned your gaze back to Yoongi to continue your story. “Anyway, as we both reached for a cloth to clean up the mess, our hands touched. And here we are, I guess, ” you finished.

Jungkook looked a tiny bit relieved about your suit, but the look of worry didn’t leave his face entirely.

But how come we couldn’t find you after we deplaned. Sejin and some of the other bodyguards looked for you after Jungkook finally told him what happened, ” Yoongi questioned.

Oh! Well, I didn’t want to walk around in a coffee stained suit, so I slipped into the closest bathroom to change my clothes. I guess that’s why you couldn’t find me, ” you said. You hadn’t realized they’d tried to look for you. 

Yeah. Sejin was pissed when the airlines wouldn’t tell them your name. He tried pulling the soulmate card, but they wouldn’t budge. I guess we should be thankful Sejin gave you his business card. Otherwise I’m not sure we would’ve found you, ” Yoongi said solemnly.

Jungkook gripped the steering wheel a little more tightly. You realized how much panic Jungkook must’ve felt. You knew exactly who he was. It would be easy for you to find him. But he knew next to nothing. Just your name and that you were on the same flight. And the airline wasn’t giving up your information. 

He must’ve been so worried he wouldn’t be able to connect with you. Had he been afraid he’d lose one of his senses? The thought sobered you. Maybe this was why he had been so distant with you. Did he think you had been avoiding him first? You felt a pang of regret for not reaching out sooner.

Yoongi’s last statement killed the conversation. No one spoke for the remainder of the ride. 

When Jungkook pulled into the parking deck at the hotel, you gave him a questioning look. When he opened your door, he simply said, “ It’s safer for us to drop you here than out front. Too many eyes.

Ah. Makes sense, ” you said. And he nodded sadly.

Yoongi rolled down the window at this point and said, “ Well, it was nice meeting you. See you tomorrow.

You nodded and waved to him. “ It was nice meeting you too. Sorry again for butchering Daechwita.

Yoongi laughed. “ It was better than Jin’s attempt, so don’t feel too bad. ” And with that, he rolled the window back up.

Am I supposed to be your chauffeur now, hyung?! ” Jungkook yelled at the closing window.

Yoongi rolled the window back down.

Yes. Now take me home, driver, ” Yoongi said flatly before rolling the window back up.

Jungkook smiled as he looked back at you. The smile seemed to drop a bit when he caught your gaze. Is he nervous, you wondered.

Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, ” Jungkook said, letting out a held breath.

Yep. See you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride home. Bye! ” you said a bit too brightly. You hoped he wouldn’t catch on to your nerves either.

You waved to him and Yoongi as you walked the hotel elevators. You glanced back to see Jungkook waiting outside his car, watching you until you disappeared. You took the moment of solitude to think about how much life was about to shift, was shifting already. And the enormity of everything hits you all over again.

Your soulmate was a member of an internationally known and loved boy band. He was the secret (and not so secret, you thought bitterly) desire of thousands, if not millions, around the world. 

And yet, he was yours.  

Your soulmate. No one else’s. 

The thought gives you a small thrill, because you too had admired him from afar. You loved his voice, his athleticism, his cuteness, his shyness, and when he chose to let it show, his savage stage presence. Seriously, his duality never failed to amaze you.

But then a nasty thought sucker punches you in the gut. 

He was world renowned. He had to drop you off in the parking garage because he was so hounded by the media and crazed fans that he had to constantly worry about maintaining his anonymity. What did that mean for you? Would you likewise be followed by the media? Probably so, you thought.

And that thought made your stomach turn sour. 

Your mind started spiralling. What would ARMY think? Would they accept you? You know that the true fans would definitely be happy for Jungkook. But there were many who would not. Many who would hate and despise you for this. For something you had absolutely no control over. Simply because you existed.

Your every move would now be followed and criticized. You’d be picked apart and dissected. And you knew people would be anxiously waiting for you to fall, just so they could tear you to shreds. To prove you weren’t good enough.

***trigger warning - see notes***


 

Anxiety clawed up your throat as a panic attack hit you. You were barely able to fumble into your suite and lock the door behind you as your breathing became too rapid, your heart racing, eyes darting around, but not really seeing.

And then, as if it was another scene overlaid with your actual surroundings, you saw the room you shared with your ex-husband three years ago. 

He loomed over you as you cowered on the floor. Yelling. Spitting. Shouting at you that you were worthless! That you couldn’t do anything right. You never did as you were told and that made you garbage... Worthless... Trash. 

He screamed that no one would ever love you. How could they when you were good for nothing? You were lucky he put up with you. Now show him how grateful you were for his benevolence. For his love .

You screamed and cried in your hotel room. Folded up on yourself like as if you could somehow fold yourself away into nothingness. Panic gripped your heart and mind, telling you lies about where you were... Who you were... Who you belonged to.

And as you sat in a ball on the floor, and fell apart at the seams, you vaguely registered a growing ringing in your ears. 


 

And despite all the time you had spent around Jungkook today, the sheer physical effort of your panic attack caused your headache to slam back into you.

Only this time, the ringing in your ears almost completely drowned out all other sounds. And you couldn’t hear your phone ringing as you eventually fell exhausted onto the floor and fell into a fitful sleep.

Notes:

Ok, phew! You made it! For real, this is my favorite chapter. I had the rapping incident in my head before I started outlining this whole thing. Hurray for awkwardness on both sides!!

Also, I hope this starts to explain a little bit about "your" backstory. Because it *will* come up more, later.

I'd love you hear your thoughts! Thanks for reading!! <3

Chapter 5

Summary:

In which Namjoon and Sejin visit, and you move out of your hotel.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


You woke to the muffled sound of pounding. Was that pounding real, or just your head? You rubbed your eyes as you slowly came back into consciousness. The floor was hard underneath your hip, so you shifted, sitting up. Your eyes turned to the window. It was still dark outside. How long had you been sleeping?

The pounding commenced once again. Only, it was accompanied by someone shouting your name. At least you thought it was your name. A high pitched ringing was trying to drown all other sound. You shook your head,as if you could shake the sound out of your ears.

You picked yourself up off the floor and opened the door, bleary eyed. 

Sejin stood behind Namjoon who had his fist raised to begin pounding again. Both men had a frantic look about them. And your appearance at the door had surprised them.

What… What are you doing here?” you croaked.

Both men visibly relaxed, shoulders sagging in relief.

Can we come in?” Namjoon asked, checking over his shoulder nervously. But he looked back at you with a soft smile.

You stepped back to let them come in. You noticed your phone laying on the floor. 

Sejin had barely made it two steps into the room before turning on you. “Why wouldn’t you answer our calls or texts?” he demanded.

His glare was sharp enough to cut steel. You mutely bent down to pick up your dropped phone and looked down, only to find it dead. Your brain was still struggling to catch up, sluggish from sleep. Why were they here?

Namjoon continued farther into the room and sat in the chair by the desk. You watched his movement from your spot near the door. He motioned for you to sit on the bed. 

You walked in the room and sat on the edge of the bed, plugging your phone in to charge before answering.

“I didn’t hear my phone go off. I had a... ” You paused, dropping your gaze. Not sure how much you wanted to share about your mind’s betrayal. “ A difficult night. I must have crashed pretty hard. What time is it?

2 AM,” Namjoon said tiredly.

Oh,” you said, surprised. You had been out for 4 hours. But you were still exhausted. And your head felt like it was filled with cotton. Thoughts, slow moving, ears still ringing. 

It took a second to realize the two men in the room were waiting for you to elaborate further. Sejin still looked pretty furious. Namjoon less so. He seemed to quietly encourage you to speak with his eyes. His full focus on you, leaning forward with his hands clasped, elbows on knees. This must be why he’s the leader, you thought. You could feel his genuine concern and knew you had his complete attention.

I don’t… Why… Why are you both here? Is something wrong?” You stumbled over your words, mind still struggling to reach full speed.

We were kind of hoping you’d tell us,” Namjoon said, then added in English, “We can talk like this if you want.”

The switch took you by surprise and you slid a glance at Sejin, still standing on the opposite side of the room. The manager must not be able to speak English well. And Namjoon was offering you a chance to explain something he had perceived, quite accurately you thought, as very private. Something you weren’t quite comfortable sharing with relative strangers.

You sent Namjoon a silent acknowledgment of thanks before starting to explain in English.

“I had a panic attack,” you admitted in English, dropping your gaze. You just couldn’t seem to bring yourself to look Namjoon in the eyes. 

But you continued, watching your fingers twist in your lap, picking at your nails. “I was in a bad relationship a long time ago. He… He wasn’t a good man.”

“Did he hurt you?” The edge in Namjoon’s voice was very evident. You flicked your eyes up to see him watching you with surprising intensity. His eyes bored into you, face hard. He seemed so concerned. Why he would care so much, you couldn’t figure out. Was the concern solely for your own benefit, or was he worried you’d somehow drag Jungkook down into your mess?

“No!” you paused. “Well, not in ways that can be seen,” you mumbled, shifting your gaze away from his penetrating stare.

Namjoon nodded once and leaned back, taking a deep breath. 

“So, you had a panic attack. And then?” he prompted. Sejin looked between the two of you in aggravation, but remained silent.

“And then… I guess it took more out of me than I realized. I passed out on the floor over there.” You pointed at the floor near the door.

This seemed to explain something to Namjoon. He took a deep breath and launched into an explanation. 

“Earlier, Jungkook said he wasn’t feeling well. He was upset. Restless. He kept saying something was wrong, but couldn’t tell us what it was. He kept getting worse and worse and then at one point he kind of... blanked out for a bit? He had a hard time hearing us and said he thought maybe you were in trouble.”

Namjoon paused his speech and looked into your face for a long moment before continuing.

“He’s been in and out of consciousness. We started freaking out a bit. We weren’t sure what was going on, so we tried texting and calling you. And when you didn’t respond, we really started freaking out. It wasn’t until we tracked Yoongi down that we found out what hotel you were staying at. So we came to check on you and…” He trailed off, looking suddenly nervous.

“And?” you prompted.

“And we hoped to bring you back to the dorm tonight. I think the longer you two stay apart, the worse it will be for your bond. So, we’d like to take you home, if that’s ok with you.”

Home , you thought. You guessed it would be your home from now on.

Namjoon let out a huge sigh. He looked like a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He still looked a bit hesitant, but overall still relieved.

“How’s Jungkook doing now?” you asked, worry for your soulmate surfacing in the wake of Namjoon’s story.

Can you speak in Korean, please. I don’t like it when you guys keep secrets from me,” Sejin huffed, looking at Namjoon.

Yes, of course. I’m sorry. I asked how Jungkook was doing.

He’ll be better if you’re there. Did Namjoon ask if you would move in tonight?” Sejin huffed.

Yes, he did. And yes, I’ll come tonight. Let me pack my things and we can go,” you said quietly.

Let me help,” Namjoon offered.

You nodded and rose from the bed. You pointed him towards your toiletry bag in the bathroom, while you pulled your suitcase from the closet. 

It didn’t take long to pack, thankfully. You hadn’t seen the point in unpacking very much since your stay in this hotel was only for a few days.

Sejin silently excused himself to go bring the car around. This allowed you to have a moment alone with Namjoon.

You still haven’t told me how Jungkook is doing. Is he ok?” you asked after your door closed.

Well, I think he’ll be ok, but it was kind of scary for a while. We couldn’t communicate easily with him. He kept complaining about not being able to hear well. Do you know anything about that?” Namjoon asked,his concern plain on his face.

Well, I’ve had some ringing in my ears sometimes. In fact, my ears are ringing now. It’s been a little difficult to understand you,” you admitted.

This seemed to confirm a suspicion that had been forming at the back of your mind. 

We’ll lose our hearing if we stay away from each other much longer , you thought.

Namjoon seemed to come to the same conclusion as he looked at you, handing you the toiletry bag. 

Your hearing…” he started.

We’d lose it,” you whispered.

The thought was abhorrent to you. You couldn’t comprehend a silent existence. 

Actually you could. But the thought made your insides twist and writhe. You didn’t want to think about what losing your hearing would mean for the both of you. He was a singer. You were a voice actor. You both needed to be able to hear to do your jobs. And that wasn’t even scratching the surface of what music meant to you in your soul.

Your mind immediately scolded you that so many people on this Earth were deaf and that you were being insensitive. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you lost your hearing. 

But, it would mean that your lives would never be the same. You’d never be able to hear the titter of birds in the early morning. You’d never hear windchimes tinkle on the breeze. The sound of waves crashing into the beach, the wind blowing through the trees, the noise of the hustle and bustle of a busy city. You’d never hear the sounds of a child’s laughter… Of your own child’s laughter, one day in the future.

This thought stopped you in your tracks. You paused, hand reaching out over the bed to pick up an errant sweater. Your knees gave out from beneath you and you dropped onto the bed.

Namjoon noticed. And he immediately reached out to reassure you.

Hey, hey! It’s not going to happen. We’re not going to let it happen! Will you trust that I only want what’s best for you? Because what’s best for you is what’s best for Jungkook. And that kid is a brother to me. I will do everything I can to protect him. And that includes you. You’re a part of our family now,” Namjoon encouraged. His large hand came to rest on your shoulder. He gave it a brief squeeze.

You smiled at the tall rapper in thanks. You were grateful for his strong comforting presence. He nodded and the two of you left the hotel room.

 

You entered the dorm and took your shoes off. A set of slippers had been set out for you, you noticed and you smiled at the warm gesture of welcome. You waited by the door for Namjoon to show you around. Namjoon apologized that most of the guys will have already gone to sleep, but that he would take you to Jungkook’s room.

Sejin, having deposited your luggage by the door, turned to Namjoon to bid him goodnight before he turned to you and said, “We will need to talk about your move and immigration to South Korea tomorrow. Let me know when you’ll be free.” The manager bowed and let himself out.

You followed Namjoon, pulling your suitcase behind you, into a large open living room that flowed into a gourmet kitchen. The kitchen was sleek and modern with a large kitchen island hosting 7 low backed stools pulled up to the counter. A large table sat in the open, serving as the boundary between kitchen and living room. 

The far side wall of the living was completely made of windows and glass doors, leading outside to a large balcony. On one wall hung the largest TV you’d ever seen with several couches facing it. The room was a little untidy, a few blankets strewn around and some half empty ramen cups and chopsticks littering the coffee table. You smiled at the domestic scene. 

Namjoon pointed to the left where there was a hallway situated at the nebulous line between kitchen and living room. “Seokjin, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung live on this side of the house.” He then gestured toward a hallway on the opposite side of the room and said, “Yoongi, Jungkook, and I live over this way.

You nod and then silently follow Namjoon as he walks down the second hallway.

It leads to a few closed doors and a stairway. He explains those rooms are home studios and an office they share. He led you up the stairs and then down another hallway that doubled back towards the direction of the living room.

He stopped in front of the first door you came to.

Here’s his room. He cleared out some space for your stuff yesterday if you want to unpack tonight. But I imagine you must be pretty tired. Kook-ah doesn’t have a bathroom attached to his room, but the bathroom’s just there.” He pointed at a door that was kitty corner to Jungkook’s room.

Thank you, Namjoon. And thank you for being so understanding about earlier. I really appreciated not having Sejin silently judge me for my weakness,” you joked.

Namjoon let out a quiet huff of laughter. “Sejin means well, but he can be a hardass sometimes. I guess it comes with the territory of having to manage all of our crazy asses for all these years.” Namjoon smiled. “ And you can call me Joon or Joonie, if you’d like,” he added with a shy smile.

Alright. Well, thank you Joonie. Good night,” you said, smiling at the invitation to be less formal with him. 

He bid you goodnight and turned to head towards his room. You watched him wave as he disappeared into a room at the end of the hall. 

 

You tentatively pushed Jungkook’s door open and took in the neat, well organized room. For some reason you’d always assumed the maknae to be messy, so finding the exact opposite was surprising. You immediately grimace. 

You are definitely not a tidy person. This could be a problem , you thought. You just hoped you had time to get to know each other better before that fight happened. Because you knew it was coming. You mentally promised yourself that you’ll try harder to keep the mess to a minimum.

You noticed a small sitting area with a low,  deep couch in the center of the room in front of you. And by the window on the wall directly in front of you was a desk with a huge computer monitor and gaming keyboard on it. You knew how much Jungkook loved to play video and computer games and smiled a bit at the sight. Then you glanced to your right, where partial walls delineated another smaller room farther in. 

As you walked around the wall, you saw where the bed sat, the head of which was anchored against the same wall as the door.

And on the bed you saw Jungkook sitting cross legged, watching you inspect his room.

You jumped and let out a scared yelp.

Aish, you scared me!” you breathed after you recovered from the shock.

Sorry. I heard Rapmon talking outside the door. It woke me up,” he said, smothering a laugh sheepishly.

It’s ok. Sorry for yelling. I startle easily,” you grumbled. 

A small smile remained on his lips on the tail of his laughter. Butterflies erupted in your stomach, seeing that sweet smile warm his face. You looked down at your suitcase to give you something to do other than stare at him like a dopey fangirl. 

Oh, uh, where would you like for me to put this for now?” you asked, gesturing to your luggage.

Anywhere is fine. You can unpack tomorrow, if you’re tired.” 

You nod. And a sudden burst of nerves tackled you, making your throat clench and your mouth go dry. 

You were alone with Jungkook. 

In his room.

Alone!!

Who thought this was a good idea?! 

You suddenly couldn’t figure out what to do with your hands and you fidget with them nervously. Jungkook watched you get flustered and rose from the bed.  He looked like a damn model, with his pajamas hanging loosely and elegantly from his frame, you catching a glimpse of tan skin beneath the open collar of his shirt.

You gulped reflexively at the sudden flash of skin.

You looked down at your own clothes. You were in your grubby sweats and a sudden sickening thought crossed your mind that you probably looked like shit after your panic attack. You hadn’t even had the presence of mind to look in the mirror when you’d changed at the hotel. You could only imagine what horrors you were subjecting Jungkook to right now.

So, um, how are you? I was feeling strange earlier and thought you might be hurt... or something...” he said, trailing off. 

Oh, I, um, had a… a rough night, ” you muttered, not wanting to have to explain your panic attack right now. “ But I’m doing better now that I’m here,” you blurted, trying to reassure him. 

Jungkook nods in agreement. “Me too.

Good, ” you mimicked his gesture. “ So, I’m just gonna go get ready for bed. I’ll be right back,” you said as you hooked a thumb toward the door.

Do you need me to show you-” Jungkook started as you rummaged through your suitcase for your toiletries and clean underwear.

No! Joon-ah already showed me where it was!” you interrupted, finally finding your pajamas.

Jungkook looked at you, confused.

Joon-ah?” he questioned. He scrunched his face in confusion. 

Uh, yeah. He said I could call him that,” you said. “Is that not ok?” You were suddenly nervous you’d crossed a line you hadn’t known existed.

No. If hyung told you to call him that, then you should,” he said, a hint of irritation coloring his tone. But then he schooled his features back into that mask of indifference you were oh so familiar with.

Yeah, you’d definitely just crossed a line. 

You just didn’t know what line it was.

So you shot a shaky smile at Jungkook and headed to the bathroom. When you entered the room, your jaw nearly hit the floor. Decorated in shades of dark grey black with white accents and dark titanium fixtures, the room quietly oozed with a modern, minimalist style. 

There was a large glass enclosed shower with multiple jets coming out from the ceiling and several walls, a huge clawfoot soaking tub, and a long vanity with two sinks in the middle and two sunken areas on either end for seated vanities. The stools in front of the vanity sections were covered in tufted black leather and trimmed rivets around the sides. 

It was, by far, the most amazing bathroom you’d ever seen. And you let out a little squeal of pleasure at the idea of this becoming your bathroom. Your gaze traveled over the bottles and tubs sitting out on both the vanities, and noted that one of the vanities had a clearly empty space. For you, you assumed. Looks like you’re sharing this bathroom with two others, then , you thought.

You finally decided to get a proper look at yourself in the mirror and immediately wanted to disappear into nothingness. 

You had deep dark circles under your eyes from your lack of sleep, only darkened further by the smudges from your mascara running from your crying earlier. Your hair was a ratted mess of tangles and frizz, hair partially falling out of your ponytail. 

You looked like a crazy old cat lady meets zombie.

And not only Namjoon and Sejin had seen, but your soulmate as well.

You groaned and threw a little tantrum at everyone seeing you like this. And when you pulled yourself back together from you failing and wailing, you decided you’d shower in the morning. You’d just brush your hair and teeth tonight and go to bed. He’d already seen you looking like an extra from The Walking Dead , so there was no use in trying to get pretty for him now. Or ever, you thought. He’d already seen you looking your worst. He now knew what the blank canvas looked like. No amount of makeup could ever cover up the memory of what was lying underneath it.

Ablutions finished, you headed back to Jungkook’s room. He was sitting on the bed again, waiting for you.

All done?” he asked, watching you with wide doe eyes.

Yep,” you replied.

Good.

Yep,” you nodded. 

There was a long pause.

So, I think I’ll just sleep over here.” You motioned to the couch in the front part of his room. 

Again, his face scrunched slightly into confusion.

You don’t want to sleep here?” he asked, motioning to the comfortable looking bed. A bed had never looked so comfortable to you before, piled as it was with pillows and a fluffy duvet. 

No, I don’t want to intrude more than I have to. I know that we didn’t exactly get a choice in this, but I don’t want to put you out. Plus, we’re practically strangers. You wouldn’t want to sleep next to someone you know next to nothing about,” you yammered out. You really wished you could control your tongue sometimes. It ran away with you, saying some of the stupidest things sometimes.

Jungkook seemed surprised by your admission. Any openness there had been on his features before, retracted somewhat.  He walked over to the large padded bench at the foot of the bed,  opened it and pulled out a few blankets. Finally, he grabbed a pillow from the bed and headed to the couch, making up a bed there.

Oh, I can do that!” You tried to stop him, but hesitated, not wanting to assume it was ok to touch him yet. You weren’t sure if he would be ok with such casual contact. 

It’s ok, I’ve got it,“ he said over his shoulder to you, shooting you a tight smile as he tucked some blankets into the cushions. His bangs fell across his eyes and he looked so handsome in that moment that you froze in appreciation of the beautiful man in front of you as he continued to work.

When he was done and started to climb into the makeshift bed, you were pulled out of your trance.

Wait! No! I couldn’t take your bed! I promise I will prefer the couch. Please, you take the bed!” you argued.

But a gentleman should offer the bed to the lady,” Jungkook replied, slightly confused.

That caught you by surprise. He was trying to be a gentleman. He was being so open and honest with his intentions that a small, icy something inside you started to melt. You weren’t used to such honest communication. 

You were used to words being twisted to suit a purpose.

And as much as you wanted to take the bed, you knew you wouldn’t be able to actually sleep in it. It was Jung-freaking-Kook’s bed! No way you would actually be able to sleep there. Not with the knowledge that you were laying where Jungkook’s head had previously rested. Your inner fangirl squealed, but your inner prude balked.

That is really sweet of you, but I think I’ll get better sleep on the couch. Honestly! Please, I’d prefer it if you would sleep in your own bed.

Jungkook seemed torn between wanting to be a gentleman, but also honoring your preferences. 

But after a moment’s hesitation, he let go of the blankets. His feet carried him towards his bed. He climbed under the fluffy comforter and settled back into the pillows. 

You pulled back your own blankets and layed down on your side, cuddling in. And from your vantage point, you could see Jungkook lying down, his body turned towards you.

You both lay there quietly, regarding one another for a moment, before you called out, “Good night.

Good night,” he quietly answered.

And something in the pit of your stomach fluttered as he lay there, watching you watch him.

Notes:

Thank you again for reading! I appreciate you and any feedback you want to leave me! Or even just a note to say hi! :)

I will try to get at least one more chapter out this week, but it's looking rather busy for me, soI will do my best.

And are we all surviving from the Season's Greetings teasers we've gotten lately? Because I know that video of Jungkook hitting the punching bag is now living in my head rent free. But also Jimin... And Tae... And Yoongles... And pirate Hobi... and Jin and Joonie...

Good grief, I'm ot7 wrecked, really. HA!

Chapter 6

Summary:

In which security gets called, you are caught in a compromising position, and JK drives you to work.

Notes:

So... I changed the tenses... Again. Don't throw things at me! More notes at the end.

And as always, anything written in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Eventually, Jungkook’s eyes slide closed, sleep claiming the beautiful boy.

And you let out the breath you’d been holding. Your inadvertent staring contest with Jungkook had stirred up a nest of butterflies in your stomach. And you couldn’t deny your small, but growing, attraction to the idol. 

Sure you’d always thought he was beautiful and talented and loved him for the role he performed within BTS from afar. But this was different. This was real. Before, he had been this nebulous idea. A real person somewhere, but so far outside your own personal bubble that he sometimes seemed almost mythical. Unattainable.

But now he was very real, and very much inside your bubble. And that thought both thrilled and terrified you. 

You shift on the couch to look at the ceiling. Because you were tempted to watch Jungkook sleep and that felt kind of stalker-y to you. So you look at the ceiling and try to count sheep. 

But after the 6th time of counting backwards from 100, you realize that sleep isn’t going to happen. You quietly grab your computer and blanket, feet softly padding across the floor. You sneak a look over at Jungkook’s sleeping form as you open the door, making sure the noise doesn’t wake him. He just sighs heavily and turns in the bed. You hold your breath as you slowly close the door and head out to the living room. If you couldn’t sleep, you might as well work.

You snuggle into the couch and gaze out the large wall of windows. You can see Seoul spread out below you and the sight of the city sleeping was bewitching. This city is so beautiful and you’re freshly reminded that this is “home” now. You think about your little bungalow in Los Angeles and wonder how one goes about transferring a life from one place to another. 

After a few minutes of looking into the immigration rules surrounding international soulmates, you decide that the headache the paperwork would cause would be a problem for “future you”. Closing the tabs on your browser, you open your next book and start reading and marking up the manuscript. 

You must’ve fallen asleep at some point in the wee hours of the morning because the next thing you know, your eyes are wrenched open from the sound of loud laughter and conversations drawing nearer. 

You sit up and stretch as you yawn. Looking over, you saw Jhope walking into the kitchen with Jimin. You bid them a sleepy good morning, mid yawn. You smile at them. And they look at you, freezing in the their tracks

And then Jhope explodes. He screams and flails, startled backward into a wide eyed and equally startled Jimin.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction. From everything you’d seen from Run BTS episodes and Bangtan Bombs on youtube, the reaction just seemed so Jhope. 

But Jimin's eyes narrow with suspicion. And rage quickly replaces the scared expression on his face. You’re starting to think that not everyone was told about your arrival last night.

You breathe in, moving to stand and explain your appearance, when Jhope yells, “ GET OUT! SASAENG !”

Your smile falls immediately. Jimin is holding his phone to his ear as Jhope tries to hide himself behind Jimin’s smaller frame. His eyes stare you down, a hard edge to his mouth.

I’ve called security. They’re 2 minutes out, ” Jimin says to Hoseok. He moves to angle his body between you and Jhope, doing his best to protect his hyung.

No, wait, you’ve got the wrong- ” you sputter, trying to explain that you were brought here! That you were Jungkook’s soulmate!

How did you get in here?! ” Jhope yells. A hard, almost scary energy erases his fear. His gaze holds no room for nonsense, no room for excuses. It demands your answer.

Hoseok's new dominating aura startles you into silence. You try to explain, but your voice has somehow vanished. It only makes him glare at you harder. You’re starting to think Jimin wasn’t trying to protect Hoseok. Maybe he was moving to hold the dancer back. You quail at the realization.

I brought her here, ” says a tired voice. You turn to see Namjoon walking into the living room, summoned by Jhope’s screams.

What? ” Jhope yells. He looks from his leader, to your face, not quite ready to believe him.

Jimin is the first to try to put two and two together. His face moves from anger to relief.

Ah, hyung! You could’ve told us you were bringing a girl home! ” Jimin whines. He turns to waggle his eyebrows at you. “ Did you enjoy yourselves?

You immediately flush bright pink and start stuttering.

No, idiot. This is Jungkook’s soulmate. We brought her back here last night after Jungkook’s, uh, episode, ” Namjoon replies, sliding his gaze nervously to you at the end.

The three boys in the kitchen all “ahh” in unison as they turn to look at you again.

You move to come around the couch, smoothing your sleep rumpled clothes.

Hi! I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, ” said bowing to them, coming closer to the group standing behind the kitchen island.

I’m so sorry for the rude welcome! I’m Jung Hoseok. But please, call me Hobi! ” Hobi says, face melting from steel to sunshine. His large heart shaped smile is on full display now.

Park Jimin. It’s nice to meet you. What time did you get here? ” Jimin asks.

“I ’m not sure exactly. It was either very late or very early, ” you say with a wry smile.

Hmm, ” Hobi says. “ You must be very tired! Can I make you some coffee? ” 

Coffee would be wonderful, thank you!

You drop into one of the chairs at the kitchen island and groan into your hands. Now that the excitement of the moment has passed, your exhaustion hits you full force.

Hobi busies himself with the coffeemaker as Namjoon settles into the chair next to you.

Did you sleep out here? ” he asks. You nod your head, the effort of speaking being too great at the moment. 

How come? ” he continued, curious.

I just couldn’t sleep. I think my body thought I’d gotten enough of a power nap earlier and my brain would just not shut off. So I figured I’d come out here and get some work done so I didn’t disturb Jungkook. I must’ve dozed off at some point, ” you sigh. 

It was Hobi’s laughter that woke me up ,” you scold playfully, scrunching your face into a teasing grimace at the bubbly dancer.

Jimin regards you quietly, before asking, “ That happens to me sometimes. Some nights I can’t get to sleep until 4 or 5 in the morning. Your body is tired, but your brain is awake, you know?

He smiles warmly at you, instantly making you feel less alone in this new place.

If you ever struggle to sleep again, you’re always welcome to text me. If I’m awake, I can keep you company ,” Namjoon says, his eyes warmly looking into yours.

As the leader, he probably felt the need to make sure every member in his little family was taken care of. And that included you too, now, you guessed.

Hey, how come you’ve never offered that to me before! ” Jimin pouts, false hurt painted across his face.

Because I know you’ll just barge into my room regardless of whether I’m asleep or not, asshole! ” Namjoon retorts, ribbing the younger man good naturedly.

Coffee’s ready! ” Hobi sings, carrying several mugs of iced americanos in his hands. 

It was that moment that the security guards barged through the front door, looking ready to jump anything that seemed even remotely out of place. You instantly cringe, hiding behind Namjoon.

The ruckus causes Hobi to jump again, dropping all the cups in his hands. Coffee spills across the floor, mugs smashing to pieces.

Namjoon immediately jumps up to intercept the guards, explaining the situation and your presence before escorting them out.

Namjoon’s absence brings your attention over to Hobi and the mess on the floor. You bend down to help sop up the coffee. You glance at Hobi, who was picking up pieces of broken mug and muttering about not crying over spilled coffee. You smile, wanting to reassure him.

It’s ok. Coffee is overrated anyway, ” you soothe. He smiles back at you, but shakes his head, laughing.

Coffee is life! ” he professed. “ It’s ok, I’ll make more.

And when you stand up, you find that the remaining members of the group have sleepily filtered into the kitchen in response to all the noise.

What’s going on, hyung? ” a sleep muzzy Taehyung mumbles softly before going to cling onto Jimin’s side. Looks like he’s just as physically affectionate as ARMY thought. The discovery makes you smile.

Hoseok just got startled and then security showed up. Sorry guys, ” Namjoon announces.

There is a chorus of grunts and nods as the boys shuffle around each other, clearly executing a well perfected morning dance. Jin and Yoongi move around to the stove and fridge, getting breakfast ready for everyone, while Jhope brews another larger batch of coffee. Jimin and Taehyung get out plates and cutlery and Namjoon looks at a tablet that he must’ve brought with him from his room. You can see snippets of schedules and briefings scroll by as he looks over the day’s events. You smile at the pure domesticity of it all.

The only member missing was Jungkook.

Where’s Jungkook? ” you ask the room. The three heads of Taehyung, Jin and Yoongi snap to stare at you, the unexpected voice clearly startling them, while the rest of the boys keep working.

Oh my god! ” Taehyung yelps, startled. “ Who is that?!

Ah, Taehyung-ah, this is Jungkook’s soulmate, ” Namjoon says in introduction.

Taehyung turns his large eyes back to you and then his face splits into an enormous, boxy smile.

You’re here! ” he says excitedly, coming around the kitchen island to wrap you into a huge hug.

Oh!” you say, laughing. “ Yes, I’m here! ” 

You bring your arms up to hug him back, which prompts him to hug you even tighter. You laugh again and choke out, “ Breathing would be nice!

He let you go instantly and eagerly says, “ Sorry! I’m Tae! It’s wonderful to meet you finally! Jimin! Look, she’s here !”

Yes, we’ve met, ” Jimin laughs, his eyes shrinking into two half moons, recalling the morning’s excitement.

What? Am I the last one to have met her?! ” Tae whines.

Apparently, hyung. Good morning, everyone. ” You turn to see Jungkook emerging from the front door. He was dressed in workout clothes and dripping with sweat. 

If you thought he looked amazing last night in his pajamas, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. His skin glistened with small droplets of sweat and his shirt was clinging to the contours of the muscles moving beneath it. He grabs the hem of his shirt to wipe his face as he walks into the kitchen and you catch a glimpse of the rounded slopes of his abs. Your jaw drops slightly, your mouth parting in surprise.

Jungkook plops into the seat on your other side and smirks. That cocky punk knew exactly what he’d just done and is smugly enjoying seeing how affected you were by it.

And somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be entirely mad about it.  Damn that cocky muscle bunny...

Did you sleep ok? ” he asks, the smirk still clinging to his lips.

She slept out here. Scared the crap out of us this morning, ” Hobi laughs.

Jungkook turns to look at Hobi, surprised. When Hobi just shrugs at him, JK turns back to you, brow furrowed in confusion.

You slept out here? But, you were on the couch in my room when I fell asleep... he trails off, pinning you with a questioning look.

You made her sleep on the couch?! Yah, I raised you better than this! ” Jin wails.

I tried to get her to take the bed, but she insisted on my couch! ” Jungkook pleads to his elder, looking innocently cute with a slight pout on his lips.

I couldn’t sleep, so I came out here to work. I must’ve fallen asleep at some point. I didn’t want to disturb your sleep, ” you say quietly so that only Jungkook could hear you.

His eyebrows dip together, processing your confession.

I guess you didn’t notice I was gone this morning, ” you ask tentatively, registering a sting of disappointment.

No… I guess I didn't, ” Jungkook admits hesitantly. “ Sorry. I’m not really a morning person.

You both seem to flounder in uncertainty, trying to figure out just what to say next. But failing to find the right words, you both remain silent.

Do you like kimchi? ” Yoongi asks, tearing your attention away from Jungkook and the growing tension everyone clearly felt observing your interaction.

Yes! I do! ” you say brightly, thankful for the distraction. Yoongi nods and adds kimchi to the scrambled eggs in the frying pan.

The smells of breakfast cooking make your stomach rumble in anticipation. Hobi places a fresh cup of coffee in front of you and the guys all settle in to start their meal, scattered around the kitchen.

You keep relatively quiet, preferring instead to observe their interactions and enjoy seeing Bangtan in their natural habitat. You smile into your cup of coffee. ARMY would die if they could see their idols like this. Completely relaxed, knowing there weren’t any cameras anywhere.

As breakfast wound down, attention was turned back to you. It seemed like the guy’s curiosity couldn’t be contained any longer.

So, where are you from? Tell us about yourself! ” Jimin asks with a genuine smile. 

Well, I don’t know if I’d say I have one place I could call home. I’ve kind of lived all over the States. But I live in Los Angeles now. Well,  I lived in Los Angeles… I guess this is my home now, ” you say, trailing off as you’re reminded once again of the abrupt change in your life.

I love LA. Rodeo Drive! The shopping there is amazing! ” Hobi pipes up, with Jimin and Tae agreeing immediately.

It does have some good spots, ” you laugh. Not that you’d ever been in any of them. There was no way you could have afforded even a keychain from one of those high end stores.

So, are you ARMY? ” Taehyung asks, half teasing, half earnest.

You laugh nervously. “ Yes, I’m ARMY, but I’m still kind of baby ARMY. Your music came into my life around the time Dynamite blew up in the US, although funnily enough it wasn’t that song that made me a fan. It was you, actually, ” you say, looking at Tae.

He sits back, surprised. “ Me? ” he asks.

Yes, you, ” say, giving him a huge smile. “ I started watching kdramas in the middle of the pandemic and I saw Hwarang. You were so adorable in it that I looked you up to see what else you’d been in so I could watch more.

Really? You’ve seen Hwarang?! I had so much fun filming that! Ah, I miss my acting hyungs! ” he says, practically beaming at this point.

Yeah, and when I saw that you were in a band, I looked up some of your songs. I think the first one I listened to was Singularity. And then it made me curious about the rest of BTS’s songs. And then one thing led to another and I became a fan. I’ve been to a few concerts. I actually went to the Permission to Dance concert you did last December and the concert you just did a few days ago. Sheesh, was that really only a few days ago? It feels like a lifetime.

Tae clapped happily while you told your story, the rest of the guys nodding and smiling while you spoke. But when you were finished, Jimin pounced, and pressed you for your bias.

Oh no, I’m not telling you that! ” you refus, your hands held out to ward him off.

What?! Oh come on! Why not?! ” Jimin whines, but then adds teasingly, “ I bet it’s me!

Nope. Not telling, ” you say, resolute.

The 95 liners keep pressing you to tell them, cajoling and pouting as you continue to refuse. Jungkook tries very hard not to look interested in your answer. Thankfully, Jin interrupts Jimin and Tae’s pestering.

Yah, leave her alone! Do you have any family? ” he asked.

Yes, I have a sister. She’s married and has 5 little kids that keep her very busy, ” you smile. “ But she’s my only family left. My parents passed away in a car accident a few years ago. I really miss them.

And suddenly, you feel very alone. You are in a far away land, far from your family and friends, surrounded by relative strangers. You know so much about the guys and Jungkook, but how much of that is real? How much is their stage persona, or an act put on for the fans and the cameras? 

And so many things have changed for you in a matter of days and even though you were surrounded by seven young men, you felt absolutely isolated. You hang your head with the sudden emotions, not just from the grief from the loss of your parents, but from the grief of having your life turned completely upside down.

There was a murmured chorus of condolences, bringing you out of your reverie. You graciously thanked them before continuing.

I have a few good friends, but mostly, I just keep to myself. My job can be very demanding sometimes and there can be a lot of late nights and weekends.

What do you do? ” Hobi inquires.

She’s an audiobook narrator. She's pretty good, too, ” Yoongi says.

Oh really? ” Tae says with an interested smile. “ That’s so cool! What’s that like? How did you even get into that?

Thanks! I think it’s cool too. But it’s kind of boring how I got started. I knew someone who did it and they told me how they started. So I borrowed a bunch of terrible equipment and started auditioning through this website. I auditioned for so many books, most of them I probably shouldn’t have because I had literally no experience, but I eventually got one. A big contract, too. And I had to learn on the job. Which I don’t recommend. But I needed the work, so I just went with it. And one book turned into two, which turned into three and so on. And here I am three years later. I’m not well known by any stretch of the imagination, but I do well enough. I really love it. I love being able to tell stories, ” you share with a smile.

The boys all listen attentively to your story and immediately ask for some of the titles you’d voiced. You show them how to find you on Audible and laugh as Jin bids everyone farewell, finding a book he immediately needed to listen to.

The other boys start following suit, as they all have to get ready for their day. Namjoon comes over to share their schedule with you and asks if you’d like to ride with them that morning so you could meet with Sejin. You thank him and tell him if you are ready in time, you’d love a ride. He nods and heads off towards his room.

Which just left you and Jungkook in the kitchen together. 

You glance over at Jungkook, who had been eating quietly this whole time, regarding him in amazement. Man, could that boy put away some food!

Well, I’m going to take a shower and get ready to go, ” you say and stand and stretch.

He nods, mouth full, watching your arms reach to the ceiling. His gaze is guileless and appreciative. And it makes the butterflies stir up in your belly, your heart starting to pick up in pace. Heat rises to your cheeks and you abruptly turn to leave, shooting nervous glances back to him as you walk away.

His eyes are trained on you as you leave, which makes you speed up to get out of his view, lest he see the blush creeping up your neck. How is it that just a look from him can send you spinning?

You head straight to the bathroom, excited to use all those jets in the shower. You hop in and let out a string of moans as the hot water massages your shoulders and back. It was the best shower you’ve ever had in your life. You didn’t want it to end, but you knew that you needed to hurry if you wanted to catch a ride with the guys.

When you got out of the shower, you finally realized your error. You had forgotten to bring your clothes with you into the bathroom. For a brief moment, you consider putting your old clothes back on. But the thought of sliding dirty clothes onto your freshly scrubbed and massaged skin makes you shake your head in disgust.

So you wrap the towel tightly across your chest and pray that no one sees your mad dash across the hall. 

But your prayers are in vain. When you open the door to run, you almost run face first into a tall, broad set of shoulders. You recoil, looking up to see who it was, feeling your face fall in recognition.

A very embarrassed Namjoon stood before you, eyes wide and staring. From his vantage point, you imagined he could see quite a bit more than he bargained for, because he suddenly snatches his gaze away from you. He was looking everywhere, except at you. You can see a blush dust over his cheeks, his ear reddening as well.

Feeling the blood rush to your own cheeks, you drop your head, trying to cover as much as you can with one hand. You know you’re just one towel malfunction away from being quite naked and the thought has you internally screaming at your stupidness for forgetting your clothes. 

I, uh… I’m sorry… I needed to… You know what, I’ll just come back later ,” he stammers out rubbing the back of his neck. He turns on his heel to start walking back to his room.

No, no! It’s fine, I’m done! I’m just… going to go… ” you blurt awkwardly, edging around Namjoon. His eyes flick down to your hands, which have a death grip on the top of your towel. You see his cheeks flush an even deeper shade of crimson, seemingly unable to keep his eyes away from you for long. He looked at you one last time, mortification on his face, before practically falling into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

You run into Jungkook’s room and slam the door behind you. Breathing deeply, you lean against the door, closing your eyes as the embarrassment of the moment washes over you. Damnit Namjoon! Why did you have to pick that moment to use the bathroom?! 

Your brain reengages as you realize that Jungkook could walk into his room at any moment now and you don’t fancy having to suffer through the mortification of being caught half naked twice.

You get dressed in Olympic record time.

Once you are fully dressed, work bag in hand, you exit Jungkook’s room. Only to find Namjoon exiting the bathroom at the same time. Your eyes meet and you both immediately turn to walk away in opposite directions, him to his room and you towards the stairs. You could feel your cheeks heat again as you walk towards the stairs.

Stairs that just so happened to have a confused looking Jungkook standing on them. 

What was that about? ” he asks, a sharp confusion in his voice. 

Oh, I, uh… I sort of… forgot to bring my clothes into the shower with me and I accidentally bumped into Namjoon trying to get back to your room. ” 

You trip over your words as you explained. Jungkook’s nostrils flare and he shoots an angry look over your shoulder toward Namjoon’s door. 

It’s not his fault! It wasn’t on purpose! I was the one who stupidly forgot to bring clothes with me. I won’t make that mistake twice ,” you continue, trying to smooth things over.

Jungkook didn’t look completely convinced, but let the subject drop. 

I’m going to get changed and then I thought we could drive together to work, ” he offers. The way he says it makes it seem less of a suggestion and more of a statement of fact.

Oh, but Joon-ah… ” you start. Wrong thing to say , you think as you see the irritation flare up on JK’s face.

I’ll let him know that I’m taking you today ,” he says, a note of finality in his tone.

A small part of you thrills at the small display of territoriality. You knew he was completely off base with regards to the rapper, at least where you were concerned, but butterflies stirred up inside you at the thought of Jungkook staking his claim.

Ok, I’ll just wait downstairs, then.

I’ll just be a minute ,” he says as he bounds off to his room.

You head downstairs to the couch where you collected your forgotten laptop and then sit lamely on the couch, waiting for Jungkook to return.

As you waited, a few of the other members filtered into the room, also getting ready to leave for work. You want to say something to them, but couldn’t seem to find the courage to actually talk to them. 

They were, after all, the members of your favorite band. And even though you were technically living with them now, it didn’t make talking to them any less awkward. You knew there were so many people across the world who would literally do anything to be in your shoes, but it didn’t make you being here suddenly any less awkward. Should you play it cool and just talk to them? Or should you wait until they approached you?

And just as you decide to open your mouth to ask them about what they were up to that day, Jungkook bursts into the room saying, “ Ready to go?

Yah, Jungkook-ah, you’re not riding with us? ” Jimin whines.

No, can’t you see he wants to spend time with his soulmate? Alone? ” Taehyung says knowingly. 

This prompts a cacophony of cat calls to fill the kitchen. Jungkook ignores them all and flicks his head toward the door, gesturing for you to follow.

The catcalling continues all the way until the front door shuts behind you.

Ignore them, ” Jungkook says, looking slightly sheepish. You breathe out a short huff of laughter and nod your head.

And then silence fills the space between you, enfolding you both into it’s awkward embrace.

In the end, Jungkook breaks the silence.

So, what are you up to today? ” he asks as you both get into the car.

Well, I’ve got to meet with Sejin this morning, but then I’m free. I was thinking about going out to pick up some recording equipment to get a home studio put together, ” you say, thinking out loud.

Oh, you don’t need to do that. We have a recording studio in the dorm.

I didn’t know that. You’re going to have to give me a more thorough tour when we get back later, ” you say surprised.

I’d be happy to, ” he says, a smile blossoming on his face.

Thanks. But I think I’ll need some equipment anyways. What about when you’re touring? We won’t be able to be apart from each other that long. I’m going to have to follow you and having a mobile set up is going to be the only way I’ll make my deadlines, ” you explain.

I hadn’t thought of that, ” he admits.

Yeah… What’s it like? Touring, I mean? ” 

This is the longest conversation you’d had with JK since you’d met and you were going to milk it for as long as you could.

Well, it’s long. And hard... ” 

And a well timed, “That’s what she said,” pops quite involuntarily out of your mouth.

You immediately stop, eyes widening with horror. You start apologizing.

He looks at you, confused at your English. But when he sees your face, he just laughs. It’s the most magical sound you’d ever heard. It spills from his lips, bubbling up, causing his nose to scrunch up in the cutest bunny smile you’ve ever seen. His laugh disarms you, pulling a small chuckle from your own lips, soothing the sting of embarrasment.

“What did you say?” he laughs.

You explain what you said and how you and your friends had gotten into the habit of inserting the joke whenever possible into conversation. He laughs even more at that.

Trust a boy to always laugh at sex jokes.

Sorry, sorry! I’m 12, ” you mutter, still laughing a bit.

That was awesome, ” he laughs. And a bright genuine smile stays on his face. 

And that’s when you notice it. The fizzing undercurrent of energy flowing between the two of you. You can feel yourself getting charged up, feel the connection feeding some newly discovered tank within you, topping it off. And the complete satisfaction at its fullness takes you by surprise.

You look over and wonder if Jungkook could feel it too, could feel this exchange of energies drifting lazily between you. And then you’re struck with an uncontrollable urge to reach out and touch him. To put your hand on his, or run your fingers through his hair. 

Or press your lips to his. Just to see what happens, you think. 

His hand is resting on the gear stick between you. You think about how easy it would be to just reach out and hold his hand. Surely he wouldn’t begrudge you that small touch, right?

But when you finally muster the courage to move your hand, he moves, putting the car into park.

We’re here, ” he announces, a light tremor in his voice.

Oh, right, ” you say as you open the door to get out.

No, wait! I’ll get that! ” Jungkook says quickly and jumps out to open your door, running around to get your door. 

The chivalrous gesture makes the butterflies that had already been fluttering in your belly swarm upwards, lodging themselves into your throat. 

You already felt warm and full from the car ride. But this? This was the proverbial cherry on top. And the shy smile he gives you as you step out of the car? The whipped cream and sprinkles.

Notes:

Don't yell at me for changing tenses again! *hides* This is my first time doing this!! And writing in the past tense in the second person made it feel so stiff and it was difficult to get the wording to flow well. I kept finding myself writing everything in the present tense, so I'm making the executive decision to switch again.

I'll eventually go back and change the previous chapters, but for now I'm leaving it as is, because it'll take too long and I figured you'd rather have new chapters, than updated old ones, no?

Also, thank you again for reading! Every time I look at how many hits, kudos and bookmarks I've gotten, it makes me smile so much!

Chapter 7

Summary:

In which you get a new phone, "get lost", and actually talk with Jungkook.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The manager is in peak form today , you think, irritated. Today you’re meeting with one of the many other managers that BTS has working for them, Sejin being too busy.

I don’t see why we can’t have movers go and pack everything for you to ship over. ” he insists.

Because most of it either won't work here, or I won’t need it. Plus, I don’t want strangers invading my privacy! Can’t you understand that?” you say firmly. 

This manager is not going to push his own agenda on you. You know you need this, not just because it would be ludicrous to ship over your things only to have to get rid of them immediately, but also because you needed to go and close that chapter of your life.

He sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before talking again.

The boys are busy, Y/N-ssi. Jungkook won’t be able to come with you to pack up for a while. And we’re not risking his health by separating you for longer than necessary, ” 

You note the subtle message that they don’t care if you have any issues. Only if Jungkook does. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

How long until they have a break? ” you ask, irritated. 

A month? Possibly more. They’re going to be filming domestically this week and then next week they’re going to Jeju for Bon Voyage. Then the following week they’re going to Japan for several performances. And the week after that, to the US for some TV appearances. We might be able to look into adding a stop in LA for a day or two while we’re in America.

You knew they were busy, but you hadn’t realized they were that busy. But it is almost the end of May now, which means touring season. It had been so long since they’d been able to tour because of the pandemic and you knew the guys were looking forward to in person concerts, just as much as ARMY was.

You start to think about how many people must be involved to make these trips happen.  Managers, security personnel, stylists, hair and makeup artists, dancers, camera crew, stage crew... And you. You’re going to have to work within the Bangtan clockwork, now. And those kinds of schedules can’t bend to just accomodate you.

Oh ,” you say lamely.

Yes. Oh, indeed, ” he snipes.

Then another thought hits you.

What am I going to do during the tour? How are you going to explain why I’m there? Surely people will find it odd that I’m constantly hanging around?

We are going to ‘hire’ you as a production assistant. You’ll run errands, help with costuming, cleaning and loads of other things. I believe I’ve heard the American’s call this a ‘go-foe’?

You chuckle. “ You mean a ‘go-fer’?”

Ah, yes, that’s it. A ‘go-fer’. You’ll go for this and go for that. It will explain your presence and you’ll report directly to a few individuals who will be informed of the situation and can help you navigate backstage. Ah, that reminds me. Here. You’ll need this.

He slides a rectangular box across the table. It contains a brand new phone. It’s the one that BTS is currently promoting and you smile at the purple color. Your favorite.

I’ve already saved several of the manager's and security guard’s numbers, as well as the guy's personal contact information. You’ll need this to start coordinating with the other PA’s and staff. We’ll be leaving for Jeju on Saturday. Sorry to wrap this up suddenly, but I have another meeting ,” the manager says as he starts gathering his things. 

Thank you ,” you say, slightly stunned by the generous gift. 

He simply nods and leads you out of his office. 

You check out the numbers saved as you head towards the recording booths to start work on your next book. You first text your sister and your friends your new number, knowing they won’t respond right away because of the time difference. 

Next, you click on all the guy’s numbers and start a new group chat, changing some of their nicknames in the process.

 

You: Hey everyone, It’s Y/N! I was given a new phone and thought I’d share my number. Hope you guys have a great day!

JK: Thanks! What time do you think you’ll be home?

Joon: Huh? Where’re you going?

Tae: Thank you, noona!

Jimin: Noona? Wait, how do you know she’s older than us?

Tae: Jin-hyung told me.

Jin: Yeah, she’s even my noona!

Jimin: Wait, seriously?! I thought we were all older than you, noona! Sorry for the informality! ㅠㅠㅠ

You: It’s ok, Jimin! Joon-ah, I’m heading out to do some shopping. Anyone know a place to pick up a good mic?

You: And shouldn’t you all be working right now?!

Hobi: We’re taking a 5 minute breather, but you guys better be back here in exactly 5 minutes!!

Yoongi: There’s a couple of good places around here. I’ll text them to you in a bit.  

Jin: Aish, don’t get Yoongi going!

Yoongi: What kind of mic are you getting?

You: Just something to travel with to do my recordings. Probably the exact same one I use at home. It’s pretty sturdy and sounds great. Thanks Yoongi!

Joon: Can we get back to work now, please?

Hobi: Seriously, where are you guys?! We need to learn this dance!! Get back here!

 

The guys continue to text each other back and forth, bickering amongst themselves. You smile and laugh at their banter, when you get a seperate text from Jungkook.

 

JK: Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you this afternoon?

You: I’ll be fine! And I don’t think I’ll be out late. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home.

JK: Would you please take someone with you? You could get lost.

You: I’ll be fine! I’ve got a phone now, so I’ll be able to use Naver to find my way or call one of you guys if something happens.  

You: You should probably get back to dancing. Hobi seems like he won’t be happy if you slack off.

JK: You have no idea… Save me.

 

You can’t help but laugh at Jungkook’s text. But then you’re smiling about his concern for you. Things are still so new that it feels like sometimes it’s one step forward and 2 steps back. But you’re starting to have hope that things are heading in the right direction. He wouldn’t have worried about you getting lost if they weren’t, right?

Later that day, you head over to one of the stores Yoongi had recommended and you pick up a mic and all the stuff you’ll need for a portable recording set up. It’s almost dinner time now and you think again about Jungkook’s text, worrying about you getting lost. 

And an idea comes to you.

You: Hey, I just realized that I don’t have the address for the dorm. Do you think you could pick me up?

JK: Absolutely! Where are you?

You: I’m standing in front of this really cool looking restaurant. I’ll send you the address. Pick me up there?

JK: Sure. I’ll head out in 10 minutes.

You send Jungkook the address for the restaurant and walk in to wait for him at the bar. Sure you could’ve just asked for the dorm’s address, but where’s the fun in that?


JK POV

 

Jungkook had been worried about his soulmate all day. For some reason, the thought of her wandering around Seoul by herself made him very uneasy. He wished he could’ve convinced her to let him go with her, but Jungkook was afraid of pushing too hard. He didn’t want to end up pushing her away.

His mind was all over the place and by midafternoon, his head started to hurt. He was distracted and irritable, snapping at his hyungs and beating himself up over the smallest things. He hated the way he was feeling, but couldn’t seem to reorient himself.

He’d been trying to give her space. She must feel so obligated because of him. She had had to give up so much to be around him, simply because of who he was, because of the life he led.

And he hated himself for that. He wanted nothing more than to make her every dream come true. He wanted to take care of her and cherish her, the way he knew only he could. Because she was made for him and he was made for her. If it were simply up to him, he would’ve walked away from everything and run her.

But it wasn’t just him. He had to consider his hyungs and what it would mean to them if he walked away. He couldn’t fathom the hurt they’d feel at his abandonment and knew the band would never be the same. He loved every single one of them like they were his actual brothers and would never do anything to compromise what they had all worked so long and hard for.

So he had decided to give her space. Not to push himself on her too quickly. He wanted to progress things in a natural way, but only if she gave him the green light. And so far, she’d only been pumping the breaks. It only reaffirmed that he’d made the right decision by maintaining a firm boundary around her.

But maintaining that boundary seemed to be getting harder and harder every day. If it wasn’t his jealousy flaring up whenever she mentioned Namjoon’s name, or the fact that he’d seen her in nothing but a towel, it was his growing need to touch her. To feel her under his hands. To feel her skin as he slid his fingers over the contours of her body. To crush his lips to hers and claim them once and for all.

He wanted it all. But convinced himself to stay strong and put his desires last.

That was, until she texted him that afternoon.

She had reached out to him. She wasn’t tapping the breaks anymore. She was pressing the gas. It was the tiniest touch on the gas, he reminded himself, but a touch all the same. 

The timid happiness that started to fill him was too much to contain. It spread across his face, scrunching up his nose, bunny teeth on full display.

He leapt up from the floor and ran over to his leader. 

Hyung, I need to leave early today. I promise I’ll make it up tomorrow! ” he said, practically bouncing.

Namjoon’s eyes were suspicious.

Why? What’s up?

Y/N texted and she said she was lost. She wants me to come pick her up.

Namjoon eyed the maknae, but Jungkook’s sheer excitement at the prospect of spending more time with his soulmate made him relent.

Fine, Kook-ah. Just be careful and don’t get recognized, ” he admonished.

I won’t, hyung! Thank you! ” Jungkook yelled over his shoulder as he took off as soon as he heard the word “fine”.

He quickly changed out of his sweaty clothes and did his best to clean himself up as fast as possible. The restaurant hadn’t looked too fancy, so he should be fine wearing his hat and mask until they could get a private table somewhere. Hell, he’d rent out the whole place if it meant he could have dinner with her that evening. He thought he should probably call the restaurant and have them set something up in advance, just in case.

He hopped into his car and raced across town, nerves making him edgy as he urged the cars around him to go faster. He didn’t want to leave his soulmate waiting any longer than necessary.


YOUR POV

 

You text Jungkook that you’re waiting at the restaurant’s bar and order a soda to sip on while you wait. Internally, you pat yourself on the back for coming up with this marvelous excuse. You know that time alone with the idol will always be a precious commodity, so getting some facetime right now seemed to be too good an opportunity to waste. 

It didn’t take Jungkook nearly as long as you thought it would. He comes into the restaurant, his eager eyes scanning the room for you. You smile and wave him over. And even though he’s wearing a hat and mask, his eyes crinkle in a smile as he makes his way over to you.

I didn’t keep you waiting too long did I? ” Jungkook asks a little out of breath.

Not at all! I didn’t even have time to finish my drink, ” you say, showing him your glass.

Ah, really? Can I sit with you while you finish it?

Sure. Why don’t you order a drink for yourself? I hate drinking alone, even if it is just a soda, ” you laugh, nerves pulling the sound from you. 

As you both settle into bar stools, Jungkook orders a glass of wine and turns to you, a nervous look on his face.

Would you mind if we finish this drink in a more private spot? I don’t want to get recognized right now. That would be… uh... ” 

That’s fine! Do you want to see if they have some private tables or a back room we could move to?

That seems to soothe his fears. He hops up to go speak to the head waiter. You smile into your coke and preen that everything is going according to plan. You’ll get to the table and say that you’re hungry and hopefully he won’t refuse you. 

You wonder if this could be considered your first date with Jungkook. The thought makes you smile as a hurricane of butterflies storms in your stomach. 

A moment later, you’re being led towards a back room. It looks enormous. But inside the large room, a singular table is set with candles and a rose in a small glass vase. The lighting is low and the romantic mood is palpable.

Jungkook pulls out the chair for you like the perfect gentleman he is, before sinking into his own chair across the table. The smile seems near permanent on your face, now. Everything seems kdrama perfect as a wine glass is filled for both you and Jungkook. Did he set this up in advance, you can’t help but wonder. 

Jungkook takes off his mask and hat and sets them aside. His eyes catch yours, and a shy smile curls his lips upward, mirroring your own timid happiness back at you. You’re enchanted by the sight of him sitting in front of you. In all of your wildest daydreams, you never thought you’d ever be sitting in a romantic room with one of your idols. It feels as if all is right in the world and that nothing could possibly ruin this day.

He finally breaks his gaze and clears his throat.

So, did you get all the equipment you needed?

Yes. Yoongi recommended a great store. I was able to get everything I needed at one place. I had worried I’d be bouncing all over town trying to find it all, ” you reply.

I’m glad, ” he says before you both lapse into a nervous silence.

A moment later, you attempt to start the conversation again.

So, how was the rest of your practice? Hobi didn’t push you all too hard did he? ” 

Nah, he can be strict sometimes, but we really did need to learn the sequence. He’s usually pretty patient during the learning phase. It’s once we’ve learned a dance and then mess up, that he’ll rip us to shreds, ” Jungkook laughs.

That’s good to hear. Not the ripping to shreds part, the not being too harsh today part, ” you joke.

Ha! Yeah, we’re adding a few songs to the show in Tokyo from the Japanese albums, so we have to learn the choreography for them. They’re nothing compated to some of our older routines, but we still have to learn them.

Wow! I still can’t believe you can remember all those dances! And all the words to all those songs! It’s so much!

It’s not too hard when they’ve been drilled into you so many times you could literally do them in your sleep. But even still, I probably couldn’t dance some of our old dance routines on the spot, ” Jungkook admits. He hesitates before asking, “ Do you like to dance?

Well, that depends. I like to dance, but I’m not very good at it, ” you admit.

I’m sure that’s not true! ” 

It is. I like to think that I have a good sense of rhythm, but when it comes to actually moving my body? What is the saying? ” you say before continuing in English. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?” you say, quoting the scripture.

Try your best to explain it in Korean, but he eventually gets the message.

I’m sure you’re better than you think. Maybe one day I could teach you, ” he offers.

You pause, caught by surprise at both the hesitancy and the offer. It’s the first time he’s made any kind of overture towards growing closer and you’re stunned into silence. So you nod instead, your smile growing bigger by the moment.

Do you have any other hobbies? ” he asks, taking a sip of his wine.

Well, I like music, both listening to and making it. Oh, and I love to cook! In fact, I was thinking I should make dinner for everyone one day soon. Do you think that would be ok?

I’m sure Jin and Yoongi-hyung would love a break. They cook for us so much. I’ve been trying to learn, but I don’t know many recipes yet... ” he trails off, slightly embarrassed.

Oh my goodness, that reminds me of that one Run BTS episode where you made sweet potatoes that stuck to the plate! It was so funny when you turned them upside down! ” you blurt out.

You immediately stop, worried that it might be awkward to share how much you actually know about him. You’re a fan, after all, and you know much, much more about him, than he does of you. You’re worried that bringing up things like this might make him uncomfortable. Because surely he’s a different person from the one he shows on camera and he probably doesn’t want you to make judgements about who he is based on things like Run BTS episodes.

But to your relief, he laughs at the recollection. You let out your own shaky laugh and let the topic drop. 

What about you? What do you like to do? ” you say, wanting to move on quickly.

I don’t have a lot of time for hobbies, ” his mouth twists with a small frown. “ But, I do like to paint and make videos when I get the chance. Oh, and exercising and boxing. I used to hate getting up early to exercise, but I’ve grown to enjoy it.

I was actually wondering if there was a gym in your building or at the HYBE building that I could use. I like working out too. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a hobby, but more of a necessary evil, ” you say dryly.

Yeah, there’s a gym downstairs. Maybe… ” he hesitates. “Maybe you could come with me tomorrow morning? ” he mumbles, burying his face into his almost empty wine glass.

You’re surprised once again by the shy efforts he’s making. You can’t account for the change, but you’re not going to complain about it! Part of you wants to say yes because it’ll be another opportunity for you to grow closer.

But another, thirstier part of you, just wants to watch his muscles flex. You shake your head as a slightly NSFW thought crosses your mind. Stop it, woman!

Uh, that would be great! ” you answer brightly, worrying that you might be drooling already. 

Great!

At this point, you’ve both finished your drinks and you’re not quite sure where the rest of the night is going to go. You want to ask if he wants to stay for dinner, but decide you don’t want to press your luck. You can tell he’s nervous and you don’t want to push him past his comfort zone.

And almost as if you’re both on the same wavelength, he asks, “ Are you hungry? Because I’m starving. I wondered if maybe we could- ” 

A nervous looking waiter has crept into the room, catching Jungkook’s attention. He hurries over to Jungkook and whispers something into his ear, looking like he might get beheaded at any moment for being the bearer of bad news. He steps back and hovers, clearly waiting for Jungkook to respond.

What’s wrong? ” you ask.

There are photographers outside, ” he says. He doesn’t show a lot of outward frustration, but you can see it simmering behind his eyes. 

Ok. How should we handle it? ” you say, immediately switching into problem solving mode. 

You’re worried about the media finding out about Jungkook’s soulmate status. You know the image the company portrays of the guys. They do almost everything in their power to try to get the fans to fall in love with them romantically. And being unattached is a crucial part of that plan. Having one of the members suddenly go off the market would destroy the illusion that BigHit is so desperately trying to sell.

But wringing your hands over it right now won’t help anything. 

Jungkook looks at you, a little surprised. Clearly, he had been expecting you to react very differently. 

Unfortunately, we’ll have to leave separately. Will you be ok? Do you want to wait here until I can send a bodyguard to come pick you up? ” he asks concerned.

You think for a moment, then turn to the waiter.

Are there other guests out in the dining room?

Yes, ma’am.

Perfect. I’ll wait at the bar and when they leave, I’ll follow them out. It’ll look like I’m with their party. Jungkook, you should leave right now. After you leave, most of the photographers will leave too. Any that might be hanging back shouldn’t notice a group leaving, right? ” you say, trying to sound more confident than you feel. “ But you will need to text me the address of the dorm. I really don’t know it. ” 

Jungkook looks at you a little stunned. He starts nodding, thinking it through. 

It’ll probably work. Are you sure you’ll be ok? ” he asks.

I’ll be fine! I’ll follow you as soon as possible.

I still think we should call security to escort you back, ” he says a little more firmly this time.

If it will make you feel better, then it’s ok with me. We could pose as a couple on a date, ” you suggest.

This seems to satisfy a concern for Jungkook, because he finally relaxes and puts his phone to his ear to call their bodyguards for escort.

I’ll see you back home? ” he says as he’s walking away.

I’ll be there soon. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine, ” you reassure him.

Jungkook leaves the back room with the twitchy waiter, who had been nervously hovering nearby the whole time. Jungkook shoots you one last look before putting his mask and trademark bucket hat on and heading out to exit the restaurant.

You take a few deep breaths before you, too, head towards the bar. You can hear the cacophony of people and camera shutters clicking furiously as Jungkook leaves, two beefy dudes having shown up to escort him back to his car.

The whole event takes less than 20 seconds, but in those 20 seconds you can see and hear so many people screaming Jungkook’s name, pressing in to get closer to him. You see photographers and young girls trying their best to get to him, and it makes your stomach sour.

 You’re face to face with his celebrity status and you aren’t prepared for the ugly reality that slaps you in the face. Your heart begins to race and you feel a panic attack coming on.

It isn’t long before your “date” shows up and sits with you at the bar for a few minutes. You need those few minutes to process what you just witnessed and try to calm down. 

Once he’s decided the majority of photographers have left, he motions for you to follow him. You exit the restaurant with only a few cameras pointed at you, but most don’t bother to take the picture, seeing you tucked under the bodyguard’s arm. Falling for your ruse, just as you suspected.

You expected him to take you to the bus stop or taxi stand and leave you, but he takes you to a sleek black town car and gestures for you to get in. He takes you back to the dorm and you thank him for everything.

Walking up to the dorm, you feel emotionally drained and physically exhausted. You aren’t two steps inside before you’re attacked. Tae and Jimin have rushed to you, Tae throwing his arms around you again.

You’re back safe! Kookie’s been so worried! ” he says.

Jimin helps take some of your shopping bags and brings them in to the couch, where Hobi and Yoongi are sitting watching something on the enormous tv.

I’ll let Kook-ah know you’re here, ” Jimin says softly, exiting the room.

Did you get everything you needed at the store? ” Yoongi asks, looking into your bags.

I did, thank you for the store recommendation .”

“You’re welcome. Ah, this is a nice one! ” he says, pulling your new mic out of the bag.

You nod in agreement and sit on the couch, a little away from the group. You are tired and you want your space. You’re feeling overwhelmed and you don’t have enough energy to buddy up to the two men on the couch.

But Taehyung plops himself next to you. 

“How come you didn’t text us back to tell us when you were coming back? Seriously, Kook-ah’s been a pest all night, ” Taehyung turns towards you and asks.

“Oh, I turned my ringer off, sorry. I haven’t looked at my phone since I left the restaurant. It was kind of... overwhelming… ” you admit, embarrassed.

Tae, Yoongi, and Hobi all nod in understanding as you pull out your phone. You have multiple missed calls and texts, some from the guys, but most from Jungkook.

Your head lifts up when you hear a thundering noise coming down the stairs and see Jungkook burst into the living room. He looks a little frantic. And as soon as he sees you, he tries to play it off like he wasn’t worried at all.

You’re back, ” he says, still trying to act unaffected.

Yep. I see you made it back in one piece, ” you say. You’re trying dispel the sight of the surging crowd trying to get to Jungkook in your mind.

I did. I’m glad you’re back, ” he says quietly.

Me too, ” you say just as quietly. “ You know, I’m actually really tired, so I’m going to head to bed. Good night, guys, ” you add.

Oh, ok, ” he says to you, looking over your face in concern, and then to the other, “ Goodnight, hyungs.

You head towards Jungkook’s room. And as Jungkook follows close behind you and you feel a slow swell of energy flow into you, spilling into that new tank. 

And suddenly, you’re not as exhausted as you were a minute ago. His closeness to you, like in the car that morning, seems to precipitate this energy transfer. You vaguely recall reading somewhere about the proximity effect of soulmate bonds. The closer you are, physically, to your soulmate, the more the bond can allow for the transfer of soul energies. Skin to skin contact is supposed to be the best, but being physically near will suffice, just at a slower rate of transfer.

You enter Jungkook’s room, expecting him to follow, but he stays outside the door. You turn, looking at him in confusion.

I’ll wait out here for you to change, ” he says nervously.

You appreciate the gesture but tell him you’ll change in the bathroom when you brush your teeth. You grab your clothes and head to the bathroom.

Teeth brushed and pajamas on, you open the door to Jungkook’s room. He’s shirtless and in the act of grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head. With his body facing away from you, you can’t help but stare, slack jawed at his muscular back, all long lines and smooth skin. You get a good look at the tattoos on his arm and shoulder and watch as his defined arms lift over his head, stretching the skin over the ridges on the sides of his ribs.

Good Lord, this boy, no, this man in front of you is beyond breathtaking. You continue to stare, hand on the door and mouth open. He either doesn’t hear you come in, or pretends not to hear, because when he turns around to catch you with your jaw hanging, he seems surprised. 

Surprised, but not all together displeased, you note.

Your cheeks flush, embarrassed that you were caught staring. Ugh! Stop being such a perv!

Sorry! I should’ve knocked…

He shoots you a timid smile.

It’s ok. It’s your room, too, you know, ” 

I guess. It’s just taking me a bit to get used to.

Me too. This is all kind of… ” he hesitates.

A lot? ” you finish.

Yeah, ” he says, letting out a huge breath. 

You shoot him a shy smile of your own, trying to share your understanding. This forced intimacy is just as hard for you to reconcile. You know you have to be around him for both of  your sakes, but you’re not quite comfortable with him yet. 

Setting aside his celebrity status or the fact that he’s been someone you’ve looked up to for a while now, the man before you stirs feelings inside that you can’t explain. A desire to protect, a desire to hold and be held, wanting nothing more than to fold into his arms and melt into his embrace. 

But an ocean separates you. You’re still essentially strangers. And that unfamiliarity keeps you both at odds, neither of you wanting to take the first steps toward getting acquainted.

When did I become such a chicken shit ?

Maybe it was when the rest of your life got tangled into the mix? Maybe it was because he was an idol? Maybe it was because of how much you felt towards him already.

Whatever the reason, it's a stumbling block, preventing you from taking the first step. You are so afraid of messing everything up, that you freeze.

And it seems like Jungkook isn’t willing to take the first step either, because he eventually turns and heads to his bed. Climbing in, he leaves you feeling very much alone.

Notes:

Phew, that was a long chapter. What do you think? I'm always happy to hear from my readers!! :)

Thank you for reading!! I appreciate every single one of you! <3

Chapter 8

Summary:

In which you work out and connect with the hyung line.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The next morning, you’re woken up by an alarm going off entirely too early to be allowed. You crack your eyes open, trying to find the source of the offensive noise. You raise your head, look around and see Jungkook already getting out of bed, turning off his alarm.

He sees your open eyes and asks, “ Do you still want to come work out with me this morning?

You had forgotten about his offer to work out this morning, what with the mob of cameras and such from the previous night. 

What you want to say is, ”No!” and crawl back under the covers. But your mouth betrays you and you croak out a noise of agreement. Jungkook chuckles and heads into the bathroom to get changed. This gives you an extra minute to gather your wits and try to wake up a little bit more. 

Exercise. At ridiculous o’clock in the morning… Ok! You can do this.

You pull on the one sports bra and pair of high waisted leggings you’d packed (thank goodness for your friend’s insisting on it!) and braid your hair into two long french braids that hang in front of your shoulders. You make your way downstairs to grab a light breakfast before you leave.

Jungkook joins you in the kitchen a moment later. He’s wearing an oversized sleeveless tee and compression tights with shorts on top. You try your best not to ogle. His muscular arms are on full display and every now and then, you catch a glimpse of his chest through the gaping arm holes of his baggy shirt. 

He catches you staring at him, slightly abashed, but does a double take at your outfit. You know that the amount of skin you’re showing isn’t considered modest or common for women in Korea. Normally, you’d never think twice about your outfit back in LA, knowing that your outfit is borderline modest in comparison. But here, with Jungkook’s wide eyes glued to your body, you feel almost naked.

You blush and move to fill your water bottle, grabbing an apple out of the fridge on your way. He likewise shakes himself out of his daze and grabs a protein shake from the fridge. You both orbit around the kitchen island, the silence amplifying the tentative atmosphere.

Ready? ” he asks, finally breaking the silence. His cheeks betray the blush he’s been trying to hide. You’re certain your cheeks are in a similar state of treachery. You nod and follow him to the elevators and down to the gym.

When you get there, Jungkook asks, “ Do you want to work out together, or do your own thing?

You think for a moment. It’s been a while since you’ve lifted weights or put together a workout plan. And you’re not excited at the idea of making up a plan on the fly.

I’ll just follow you today.

Are you sure? ” he asks. He looks at you skeptically. 

He doesn’t think you can keep up!

I’ll be fine! I promise! I am pretty familiar with most exercises and if I’m not sure I’ll ask.

He still doesn’t look convinced, but says, “ Ok. Well, I usually warm up for 10 minutes with some kind of cardio. Any preferences?

You both move towards the back of the gym where you can see a line of treadmills, elliptical machines, and stair climbers.

What about rowing machines? ” you suggest, seeing the rowing machines hiding as you round a corner.

He nods and you both settle into the machines, strapping your feet into the stirrups. After checking that the machine is set to a low resistance (you don’t fancy floundering in front of Jungkook), you pick up the handle and start rowing.

Your body recalls the rhythm, push, lean, pull, and reverse it all back to start. You settle into an even cadence, knowing this is just the warm up after all. 

Jungkook sees your pace and matches it, keeping an eye on you. You catch his stares out of the corner of your eye and you aren’t sure if he’s watching you because he thinks you’re pathetic or for other more butterfly inducing reasons.

Eventually, you see a cocky grin settle into Jungkook’s features and he picks up the pace, an unspoken challenge in his eyes. You match his cocky grin and raise one eyebrow. 

Challenge accepted.

Both of you pull harder and quicker, silently racing one another as the time ticks down on your warm up, breath coming hard and fast. Sweat starts collecting at the edge of your temples as your race is pushing your innocent little warm-up into full blown sprint territory, both of you not willing to let up, smiles plastered on your panting faces.

At the end of the ten minutes, you are completely winded. Jungkook huffs out a breathless laugh and leans over to recover. 

Just a quick warm up, huh? ” you say. He flashes you a mischievous grin. “ So what’s next?

I was going to do chest and back today, ” he says, reaching for a water bottle and taking a large swig.

Sounds good to me. Point the way.

Jungkook leads you over to the bench press and starts loading plates on the bar. You aren’t all that surprised at the amount of weight, but you know there’s no way you can spot him. So you walk over to the lat pull down and start your set.

You can feel Jungkook’s gaze flick over to you every now and then, but you try to push out his distracting presence and focus on your reps. You crank your music and don’t notice Jungkook has moved over to you until he taps you on the shoulder.

I’m done with my set. Want to switch? ” he asks.

Sure! ” you say, getting up from the machine.

Are you sure you can lift the bar? Your arms are so tiny! ” he teases.

You shoot him a fake angry glare.

I’m stronger than I look, ” you shoot back.

Alright, if you say so.

Jungkook snorts when he sees the weight you left behind on the machine before adding a significant amount more. You narrow your eyes at him. He wisely chooses not to comment on it.

Over at the bench press, you find that he had put away all his weights for you. You look back at him, surprised by his courteousness. It makes you a little ashamed you hadn’t done the same for him.

You lay down and get ready to start your set. You push up on the empty bar, straightening your arms fully as they work to keep it balanced. It seems a lot heavier than you remember. Is the bar heavier in Korea?! You breathe in, steadying yourself before slowly lowering the bar towards your chest.

The first five reps go well, if a little shaky. But by the seventh rep you’re seriously struggling. And when you lower the bar to your chest for your eighth rep, your muscles simply give out and the bar falls onto your chest. The impact makes you cry out in surprise and alarm.

Jungkook! ” you groan.

You have to shout his name a few times before he hears you over his headphones.

But as soon as he realizes you’re struggling, he’s at your side in a flash, pulling the bar up and off your chest. With the bar securely stowed, you realize with a gulp that Jungkooks is now straddling your face as you lay on the bench. Your eyes naturally go to the space between Jungkook’s legs to where a bulge pushes out the front of his sweatpants. How could you not? It’s literally inches from your face!

You sit up as soon as possible and Jungkook sprints around the bar to kneel in front of you. He reaches out and places his hands on your arms. He looks fiercely into your eyes, his gaze intense and concerned.

Are you ok?! ” he frantically asks.

You can hardly speak. 

His hands touch the bare skin of your upper arms and that slow flow of energy that you’ve experienced before reappears. Only now, instead of a small, slow trickle, it’s a rushing torrent. And it’s sparkling up and down your nerves, branching out from his hands and racing to the rest of your body. 

Eyes wide, you can’t help the small gasp that escapes you from the contact. His hands complete a circuit between you, two halves becoming whole. And you wish the feeling would never end. But Jungkook’s fear distracts him from the sensation, blinding him to the bliss of the moment.

His eyes roam your body, desperately searching for any injury, checking to ensure that all is well. It isn’t until he catches your gaze on his hands that he realizes what he’s doing. His own wide doe eyes look at his hands, like they are somehow acting of their own accord. And you can see the connection in his brain, see the registering of sensations that are happening from your skin on his.

You both have been so careful around each other, doing your best not to touch each other, a tacit agreement between you two. But this unintended touch breaks the invisible barrier that had prevented you from seeking his touch before. 

You hadn’t realized how drained you had become, even having spent so much time around him recently. It’s like you have been starving without recognizing the signs of hunger, at the way your body and soul screamed out for him. And his touch is the sustenance that you desperately craved.

Jungkook quickly snatches his hands away from your arms, breaking the blissful connection between you. He steps back, putting space between you.

I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize- ” he starts.

It’s ok! Really! ” you say, even as you’re fighting the urge to reach out and take him in your arms.

I was just so worried and I didn’t think... I just wanted to make sure you were ok, ” he continues to babble, nerves loosening his lips.

You try your best to reassure him, but he keeps on jabbering, his Korean coming too fast for you to understand. 

Jungkook! Listen to me! ” you raise your voice as you stand, trying to break him out of his fugue. You wait until you have his full attention, his doe eyes on you, looking like he’s about to get scolded. You soften a little at his expression.

It’s ok. I’m ok. Truly. I don’t mind. Thank you for saving me, ” you try softly. But you don’t get any kind of response from him. “My arms just gave out. My ego’s a little bruised and I bet I’m going to noodle arms tomorrow, but really, I’m fine, ” you laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

His expression shifts from apprehension to guilt. So you boldly reach out and take one of his hands in both of yours. The effervescent feeling of the soul energy rushing through your hands is still as breathtaking as before and you both stare at your linked hands.

It’s ok, ” you say firmly. You give his hand a little squeeze before releasing it. You didn’t want to let go, but you also didn’t want to short circuit the young man’s brain. Which, to be honest, looks imminent.

He raises his eyes to your face, trying to find any hint of doubt, any shadow of uncertainty. But finding none, lets out a long breath. 

Ok, ” he says finally.

Ok,” you repeat. You let that sink in a moment before adding, “ I think I may be done for the day. Should we head back home?

Home? ” he looks confused before realizing you mean the dorm. That you were referring to his home as yours. The small smile that spreads across his face is slow to start, but changes his entire countenance. Transforming it from uncertain hesitance, into a glow of pride and replete satisfaction.

Home, ” you reiterate.

You both gather up your things and head back to the dorm. The elevator ride from the basement to the dorm several floors above takes a thousand years. At least, that’s how it feels. All you want to do is reach out and touch him. To experience that rush of tingles explode across your skin. But you’re sure you’ve pushed Jungkook about as far as you dare in one day. So you keep your hands firmly tucked under your arms in order to resist the temptation.

Jungkook likewise seems to be wound so tight that he might explode at any minute. And just when you think he will explode, the doors slide open, and the tension that has built up in the elevator is instantly released. 

You were seriously wrong about elevators all along.

The silence continues, even inside the dorm. You head to the kitchen where Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, and Hobi are eating a late breakfast, Jungkook following behind. You sit down stiffly. Jungkook hesitates before deciding to sit down next to you.

Good morning. Good workout? ” Yoongi asks, taking a bite of his breakfast.

You can’t quite seem to muster the brain power for words, so you simply nod. 

Aish! You stink! ” Hobi yells, catching a whiff of Jungkook as he passes him.

Yah! ”He shoots Hobi an irritated look.

No! You smell! Go shower! ” Jin yells.

Fine! ” Jungkook says stubbornly and sulks off to the shower.

Have you eaten? ” Namjoon asks, chuckling at Jungkook’s retreating figure.

No, but I’m not hungry, ” you say quietly.

You have to eat! ” Jin says, looking horrified by the very thought of skipping a meal.

I will! I’ll get something later. My stomach isn’t really feeling the greatest at the moment, ” you admit. Butterflies have now seemed to take up permanent residence in your stomach and it’s making you borderline nauseous.

Would you like some coffee instead? ” Hobi offers. You accept with a nod.

Hey, is everything okay? ” Namjoon asks, seeing your mood. He looks seriously at you. And his sincerity takes you a little by surprise.

Yes, it’s fine. It’s just that we...  We touched for the first time since the plane this morning at the gym. It was… intense, ” you mumble. Namjoon nods his head, grunting a noise of understanding.

Ah, really? The first time? ” he says, continuing to nod. But as he begins to think about it says, “ But that was over a week ago!

I know. Things have just been moving slowly, ” you admit. 

Maybe it was because he was used to being a confidant for the rest of the members, or he felt the need to step in as a leader, but talking about this to Namjoon under the cover of the noise in the kitchen helped to ease the last remaining bits of tension from your shoulders.

That’s not good. You both need that physical contact! Why haven’t you initiated it before now? ” he scolds.

I don’t know. Everything just seemed so hard. Like the obstacles separating us were too big. Obstacles of our own making.

Namjoon keeps nodding his understanding, then gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Well, I hope you tear down those obstacles soon. It will only be beneficial for the both of you. ” 

He pins you with a look, one eyebrow raised, trying to convey his seriousness.

So what’s this I hear about your future career as a rapper? Do I smell a collab in our future? ” Hobi teases.

You look to Yoongi in betrayal. He just smiles like the fiendish cat he is.

I don’t know what he told you, but I don’t rap. I happen to enjoy listening to rap music, but I can’t do it myself. As Yoongi very well knows, ” you grind out.

I seem to remember telling you she wasn’t a good rapper. But she is a good singer, ” he says mildly to Hobi.

Oh, sorry, my mistake! ” he barks out laughing.

Really? When did you hear her sing? ” Jin pipes up.

Jungkook and I caught a little bit of it after she was done working one day, ” Yoongi replies.

What he’s not telling you is that they spied on me! I had no idea anyone would be listening! ” You’re mortified all over again.

Maybe we should do karaoke sometime soon! ” Jin says excitedly.

It’s been so long since we did that. That would be fun, ” Namjoon says. 

You’re not convinced.

I don’t know, guys. I’m not really one for karaoke, ” you say hesitantly. You’re not exactly thrilled at the idea of having a room full of professional singers listening to and secretly judging your singing. 

Come on, it would be fun! ” Hobi says. But he notices your discomfort and then asks, “ Is everything ok? Is it us? Do we make you uncomfortable? ” It was kind of scary how Hobi could see right through you.

No! I’m not uncomfortable at all! ” you say too quickly. 

This time it’s Hobi who doesn’t look convinced.

Well, ok. Maybe I’m a little uncomfortable. I mean, I’m sure it’s so many fans' dreams to live with their idols, but in reality, it’s kind of nerve wracking. And I’m sure it’s weird for you guys too! You have been together for so long, so it’s gotta be hard to suddenly have this extra person around. And don’t even get me started on the fact that I’m now sharing a living space with 7 people who are essentially strangers and one of them is my soulmate?! I mean, this whole situation is just bizarre and I’m just really struggling to reorient myself. Like, how do you just drop everything and start over? How do you just leave your life behind like it was nothing? Don’t get me wrong, everyone here has been very kind and understanding. And it’s been a dream to get to know you guys and Jungkook, but even still, I just feel so lost and alone, ” you say, spilling your thoughts , getting a little worked up by the end. 

The guys are a bit quiet after your speech. Everyone, including you, is surprised by the outburst. You hadn’t wanted to say any of that out loud. You hadn’t even been able to fully form some of those thoughts to yourself yet. It just came out when you opened your mouth. And you feel horrible for unloading your baggage on them. 

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to word vomit on you. It isn’t very fair to you. I just need some time to adjust, ” you say, taking a deep breath.

Hey, I asked, ” Hobi said. He looks at you with a warmth that conveys an unspoken hope that one day you’ll feel less alone amongst them. 

I fully realize that living with seven guys can be a lot. But I know I speak for everyone when I say you are truly welcome here. We’ll do as much as we can to help you feel like you belong. And I know Jungkook feels the same way, ” Namjoon says. You’re skeptical about whether Jungkook actually does feel the same or not, but you don’t voice your doubt.

Yeah, we’ll make sure not to walk about nude too much, ” Yoongi deadpans, breaking the tension.

Yah! Rude! I’m sorry, I can’t control him, ” Jin says, glaring at Yoongi who’s chuckling to himself.

You laugh. “ It’s ok! And I would appreciate the efforts to stay clothed. What would ARMY think if they knew you were a closet nudist? ” you tease Yoongi.

The rest of the guys burst out in raucous laughter while Yoongi goes quiet and slightly pink around the ears.

What’s everyone laughing at? ” Jungkook asks, reentering the room, hair still wet from the shower.

God, he looks incredible. Why does he always look like he’s runway ready, even after a quick shower? You’d just look like a drowned rat. It just isn’t fair.

Just that Yoongi outed himself as a nudist, ” Namjoon booms with laughter.

Jungkook laughs with them and it already starts to feel less lonely. You get a peek at the home you could have here, within the Bangtan family. Jungkook may be the one who’s your soulmate, but he’s part of a package deal. An unbreakable set. And you had subconsciously worried about gaining their approval and acceptance. It is reassuring to know they didn’t immediately feel like you were an intruder. 

Well, except for when Hobi and Jimin thought you were a sasaeng, you think wryly.

I should probably go shower too. What’s on the agenda today? ” you ask, standing and stretching.

We’re filming a commercial today. Our call time is just before lunch. The cars will pick us up here. You’re coming too, right? ” Namjoon says.

You frown, momentarily confused, thinking it would’ve been nice for Sejin to have sent you that information earlier. You check your phone, and sure enough there is an email waiting for you sent late last night, requesting that you join the guys today as something of a dry run for your “job” as a production assistant. 

Oh, right. Yeah. I’ll make sure I’m ready to go on time, ” you say, moving towards the stairs.

You shower off the morning’s sweat and make sure to dress in comfortable, but professional looking clothes. You’re not exactly sure what the dress code for a PA is, but you don’t want to stand out as being over or under dressed.

As you’re putting the finishing touches on some light makeup, Jungkook knocks on the door to the bathroom. When you say, “Come in,” he leans around the doorframe.

Hey, almost ready? The cars will be here in a minute, ” he gives you an appreciative look. “ You look nice.

He is suddenly bashful and lets go of the doorframe, straightening up.

Thanks, ” you say surprised, but pleased. “ I’m almost done here. I’ll be down in a minute.

Alright, we’ll be waiting downstairs.

He backs out of the room, like he’s afraid to turn his back on you. And you can’t help but laugh. Why is he acting so weird? Is it because you’re wearing makeup? Or is it left over awkwardness from the morning’s workout session?

Shaking your head, you gather your phone and purse. You make a mental note to grab a bottle of water before you leave, and join the group waiting by the front door. Sejin is talking to Namjoon and when he notices you, he walks over.

’Here’s your employee id. It’ll get you onto the set today. You’ll be coordinating with one of the head stylists, as you’ll be helping them out today. Do you have any experience with wardrobe or hair and makeup? ” he asks brusquely.

Not really. But I will do my best to watch and learn, ” you reassure him. He nods.

Oh, and because you’re supposed to look like one of the staff, you’ll be riding with them, ” Sejin adds. Jungkook looks up at this, looking unhappy about the news. “ I’ll drive you over to where they’re meeting up. Do you have any questions about today? ” 

Your head is spinning. You’re sure you should have questions, but you’re so far out of your depth here that you don’t even know which questions you should be asking. You’re being thrown into the deep end with little to no preparation and it looks like you’re going to be separated from Jungkook for the majority of the day. You’re already dreading it. 

You shake your head and Sejin motions for you to follow him out. You give the guys a tentative wave and then shoot a look at Jungkook. Displeasure is plain across his face, but he makes no move to stop the manager. You take that as your cue to let it go, dropping your head slightly as you follow Sejin out to the waiting car. 

You just hope to God that you’ll see Jungkook again at some point today. Because if not, you’d bet every cent in your bank account that you’re in for a massive headache later.

Notes:

Ok, a little bit of a shorter chapter than usual, but hopefully worth it, right?! Touch has happened! I repeat, touch has been confirmed!

I may have also laughed hysterically at the thought of precious Yoongles being a closet nudist. Especially since he's one of the MOST conservative members when it comes to showing skin. Hahaha!!!! I also loved the connection with the hyung line. Don't worry, 95 line moments are coming too!

And as always, thank you for reading! I really do appreciate every single reader! Love you!! <3

Chapter 9

Summary:

In which Jungkook has a "moment" (coughs), you attempt to be a production assistant, and trauma rears its ugly head again.

Notes:

***TRIGGER WARNING***

There are details about getting triggered, experiencing a trauma induced panic attack, talk about emotional abuse, mention of rape and just some overall angst this chapter. It's near the end, so if you want skip it, stop reading once the director starts yelling.

And as always, anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. If there's any dialogue that isn't in bold, it's english (and intentional).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



JK POV

 

It had been hours since she left with Sejin. Jungkook had piled into the small bus with the rest of his band members and a few managers and driven deep into the mountains to film a commercial. He had no idea what it was for, but he was beginning to feel that whatever it was for, it wasn’t worth the headache he was trying to push through. 

His soul mate had been taken from him and made to ride with the coordinoonas. He hated the idea of being separated from her, but didn’t know if it was ok to ask for her to stay. He kicked himself now. He should have just spoken up. What’s the worst that could have happened? They say no and she’d leave with the manager anyway? 

Jungkook was just so used to having everything done for him, all plans set before he even got involved, that it felt weird trying to speak up and rock the boat. He usually just went with the flow, watching quietly from the side as problems were ironed out for him. 

So, asking to stay close to her, especially after what happened in the gym that morning, felt awkward and foreign. And so he stayed quiet, choosing not to make waves.

But the whole drive all he could think about were her eyes looking up at him as he pulled the bar off her chest, all wide and adorable. And when he’d put his hands on her arms, it had taken a second to register the euphoria he felt holding her. He’d never felt so right. And he wished it would never stop.

But then his stupid brain freaked out and immediately released her. And he wasn’t sure why. All he wanted was to hold her, to get to know her, to protect her. But the nervous part of his brain was afraid that she’d recoil from him, that she’d reject him. 

And so instead of leaning in, he’d pulled away. 

Jungkook thought about the morning and how he'd do it differently if he was ever given the chance. Because he could see how much she’d retreated back into herself after she’d gotten to the kitchen with his hyungs. Any progress made that morning, ruined in moments. 

And then he’d been banished to the showers, not getting the chance to smooth things out and try to get closer.

A shower in which the thoughts of his soulmate in that sports bra and tight leggings, showing off all that glorious skin and curves, had created a “growing” problem. 

He felt a small twitch of guilt when he’d reached down to stroke his length, as he remembered watching her body move on the rowing machine. Her body had coiled and uncoiled, moving back and forth. The motion caused her breasts to bounce and sway with every push of your legs. She had been so focused on increasing her pace, that she hadn’t even noticed his blatant staring. She’d just continued to grunt and thrust, completely in the zone. 

It had driven him crazy.

He moaned as the water cascaded down his chest, reducing the friction of his hand, focusing every few strokes on stimulating his now very sensitive head, and he increased the speed of his pumping. 

And it was when he thought about touching you again, about what it would feel like to have his lips on yours, that he finally groaned, coating his fist with his milky release. Rubbing himself through his orgasm. 

The water washed away the evidence of his fantasy, and he reached out with one arm, leaning against the wall, hanging his head. Jungkook let the water continue to pelt his back as he panted from his efforts and tried to let the water wash away his churning thoughts. 

His conscience had prickled at the back of his mind. He was a little ashamed at having used her this way. As his soulmate, she deserved better. To be cherished and worshipped, not having memories of her body used in secret for his spank bank.

But Jungkook knew he was falling hard for her. And the speed and magnitude of that fall scared him. Scared him so much that he didn’t want to mess it up, to push her farther away. She’d already come so far, literally flying all the way to Korea, and he didn’t want to do anything that might make her fly away from him.

So here Jungkook sat hours later, the makeup noona touching up his face, his head pounding, and trying to figure out how to take that first step closer to her. 

And the best he could come up with was, “I’m sorry, Noona, can you bring me a water?” as he locked eyes with his soul mate.

 

Your POV

 

You checked your smartwatch, looking at your steps for the day. It was four pm and you were at a whopping fifteen thousand steps with no end in sight. The noona caravan had pulled into the mountain film site around twelve-thirty and you’d been going hard ever since. 

The head stylist, who had been read into the situation, had you running things back and forth all day, be it costumes, brushes, food, or even film equipment occasionally. You started to think production assistants might be the most underappreciated people in the entertainment industry.

And when one of the make up noona’s had asked for some assistance with cleaning makeup brushes, you’d been sent. She’d patiently showed you how to get all the makeup residue out, and left you with a mountain of dirty brushes to clean. Your fingers had looked like they might never recover from their pruney appearance.

Now, you were returning the cleaned brushes to each of the make up stations, making sure each stylist had their brushes returned to them. The makeup stations were in a tent that was functioning as both a dressing room and relaxing area for the band. And you smile as you walk past some of the guys who are waiting for their turn in the makeup chairs.

Jin, Jimin and Jungkook are in the hotseats now, getting prepped for their next scene. Jin and Jimin cordially greet you when you replace the makeup brushes at their stations. Jungkook catches your eye when you draw closer to him and sends you a small smile, which you shyly return, trying not to look obvious.

When you had entered the tent earlier, the headache that had been growing, was slowly ebbing away the closer you got to Jungkook. Now that you’re standing next to him, so close you’re almost touching, the throbbing retreats even farther and you sigh in relief.

The reprieve is short lived though, as you’re asked by one of the costumers to help with a last minute alteration. And you’re pulled to the opposite side of the tent, the pounding increasing with the distance from Jungkook.

I’m sorry, Noona, can you bring me a water? ” Jungkook asks, getting your attention from across the room. 

You look to the costume unnie you’re helping and they nod you off, knowing that the talent comes first. You bow and scurry off in search of a cold water bottle.

You bring it back and unscrew the lid for him, holding it out for Jungkook to take. He looks into your eyes as he reaches for the bottle. His fingers brush yours as he says, “Thank you.” 

The accidental touch makes you jerk in surprise and you drop the bottle into his lap. Water splashes out and down the front of his shirt. You rush to pick it up, flustered both by your clumsiness and by the unexpected touch. That is until you realize the bottle is nestled right between his legs. You realize, a little belatedly, that your hand is traveling dangerously near his groin, and snatch your hands back before you can actually grab hold of the bottle.

I’m so sorry! I’ll get you a new one! ” you gush.

No! No! It’s ok! Please, it’s fine! I don’t need another one! Look, there’s still plenty left, ” Jungkook soothes. The stylists are now flying around Jungkook, trying to dry him off and shooting you dirty looks for getting him wet. You seriously hope it didn’t ruin the material.

No, I’ll get you another! ” you shout as you retreat.

You turn on your heel, not allowing Jungkook another chance to disagree. Your cheeks are flaming red as you scurry out of the tent, head down. You hear the sniggers and see the poorly smothered smiles from the rest of the band as you hurry past. You just want to get out of there as fast as possible!

Your mind races to find the solution as you run away from the tent. Was that intentional? Or was it simply an accident?! But it keeps going around in circles as you get a new bottle of water from an electric cooler nestled in a secluded spot between two large box trucks. The cover of the spot allows you to take a moment to catch your breath. 

It had to be an accident , you think. It was risky for Jungkook to try and touch you here, with so many eyes. The guys are never truly alone. And you're sure that the guys are usually very careful about keeping their hands to themselves, not wanting to potentially trigger a soulmate connection while they're working. So he had to know what he was doing, right?

You lean against the side of one of the trucks, face to the sky and release a long, loud exhale. You grab the bottle and open it, taking a long drink, trying to steady yourself. 

Wasn’t that supposed to be for me? ” asks a teasing voice.

You pop off the truck, finding Jungkook walking towards you, hands in his pockets. He smiles at you as he draws closer.

Uh, oh. Yeah. It was. Sorry! ” 

You turn and grab him another bottle. “ Here, ” you say. You toss it to him while he’s still a couple of feet away. You're not exactly comfortable with the idea of him getting closer right now.

He’s surprised by the sudden throw and barely catches it. His smile is gone, replaced with a frown. You feel like you need to explain.

I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop the water on you! I was just surprised… ” you trail off, trying to explain.

It’s ok! No harm done. See? ” He gestures to his nearly dry shirt. “ A couple more blasts with the hair dryer and no one will ever know, ” he says.

You nod at him and you both fall into a tense silence. You’re looking around, trying to look anywhere except his face. He only seems to have eyes for you, though. He tilts his head slightly to the side as he gives you a perplexed look. He breathes in to speak, but you cut him off.

Well, I’m sure they need you back and I know they’ll need me for something else too, so I’m gonna just... go...

You skirt around Jungkook and then sprint off to find the head coordinoona. Hopefully she’ll keep you busy and away from the guys for the rest of the day. 

 

It isn’t until just before the sun is setting that you run into Jungkook again. You’ve been assigned as the JinKook wrangler. You’re supposed to keep them in position for when the camera pans over.

It should be a straight forward shot, but Hobi keeps messing up his lines at the beginning of each take, and so they have to reset and start from the top several times. 

You can tell that Jin and Jungkook are losing focus. It’s nearing the end of the day and their attention span is depleted. They’re starting to play with each other, bumping each other with their hips every now and then. You scold them, shooting them a glare every time they start getting a little too rowdy. 

But their playfulness keeps ratcheting up with every single take. And soon, the oldest and youngest are giggling and trying to see who can bump their hips the hardest. The next attempted shot starts and you’re silently trying to get the boys to stop messing around, when Jin swings his body forward at the last second of Jungkook's attempted bump, causing his hip to sail right past Jin. Expecting to connect with Jin, Jungkook had put every ounce of power into throwing his hip at Jin, and when he is met with open air, he's thrown off balance. He stumbles sideways and falls.

Right into a spot of wet, muddy grass. 

You’re stunned into silence at the scene in front of you, looking in horror at the giant mud splotch covering most of Jungkook’s ass. Both Jungkook and Jin are trying to smother fits of laughter as they both look at Jungkook’s backside.

You look on, horrified, knowing that you’re most likely going to get blamed for this.

The director yells, “ Cut! ” and storms over to see what the ruckus is. You stand there, dread nailing you to the spot as the short man looks between you and the two idols.

What is going on over here?! ” the director yells.

I’m sorry, Director-nim! Jungkook slipped and fell and…

Slipped? SLIPPED?! You were supposed to keep them ready for their cue. Keeping them ready includes preventing “slips” that completely ruin their clothing! ” the director roars.

You cringe as the director continues to lay into you.

Do you see where the sun is? ” He points at the horizon, where the sun sits, just hovering above it. “ Do you know what that means?

He waits for your answer. When you silently shake your head, he continues.

It means that golden hour is almost over and that we still haven’t gotten our shot! And by the time we can get Jungkook reset, the sun WILL! BE! GONE!! ” He jabs at the sun, punctuating each word.

You’re studying your shoes at this point. The crowd around you has gone silent. And the director isn’t done.

Do you realize that because you couldn’t do your job right, that we couldn’t get the last shot?! Now we either have to spend another day filming, or completely change the storyboard to rework what we already have! Do you have any idea how much money this has wasted?! Who’s going to cover it? Who’s going to be responsible for it?! Damnit! And aren't you the one who spilled water on him earlier?! Why are you incapable of doing something so simple? Can you actually do anything right?!

The director shoots you a dubious look, confirming his aspersion. Your head hangs through his tirade. The prickle of tears starts to gather in your eyes, your breathing rapidly increasing. You close your eyes as images start to flash in your mind. Memories of your ex, shouting. Reminding you of your worthlessness, that all you do is ruin things.

You close your eyes, breathing deeply, trying to maintain your composure, desperately trying to delay your panic attack until you can fall to pieces in private. The director is still standing in front of you, waiting for your response, but your throat is stuck. Your voice, mysteriously gone. 

You can feel the pressure building in your head. Feel the oppressive weight of your fear attempting to smother you and drag you under. To where rational thought withers and the irrational blooms.

And just when you feel like the pressure will finally take you, the crowd’s attention is pulled elsewhere. Voices raised in alarm and concern. 

You open your eyes to see that you’ve been briefly forgotten. You use the moment to unlock your knees and stumble away. Looking for somewhere, anywhere, you can go and scream until your throat bleeds, reminding you what’s real and what is your mind’s deception.

You run until you find one of the box trucks with a door hanging open. You leap up into the cab and slam the door behind you, body forcefully shaking, tears freely spilling down your face. You press your face into the fabric of the seat, laying down across the bench seat, clutching your chest.

And you shatter. Shuddering into a million shards. A muffled explosion, contained by the confines of the truck.

You can’t perceive the passage of time, except for counting each wave of your anxiety, feeling it rise, crest, crash, and retreat. Each wave mostly becoming smaller and smaller, except when a rogue tidal wave comes and knocks you senseless again. 

The cycle repeats over and over until you’re left, wrung out and numb.

And eventually the sound of your phone buzzing grabs your attention. Blankly, you answer the call without even looking at the number.

“Hello?” you rasp, your throat shredded.

A string of what sounds like Korean expletives burst from the ear piece. You yank the phone away from your face as the gears grind back into motion, switching your brain from your native English, to Korean.

Yes? ” you try again in Korean.

Where the hell are you?! ” a very angry Sejin barks out.

I’m not sure exactly. I’m in one of the trucks on set.

You can hear Namjoon’s worried voice in the background saying something that you can’t quite make out. You hear Jungkook’s voice too, but it sounds weak. And that’s enough to clear away some of the numbness that has settled in you. Why does he sound exhausted? He sounds about how I feel , you think.

Look, we need you here as soon as possible. Jungkook is sick and I think he needs you, ” the manager sighs. 

Ok, tell me where you are and I’ll find you.

Sejin tells you which tent they’re in and hangs up. You take a moment to look in the visor mirror of the truck, using your phone as a flashlight and do your best to wipe away the mascara that’s run down your cheeks. You frown, accepting that this is as good as you’re going to get and head out to find Jungkook.

When you enter the tent, seven worried eyes meet yours. Sejin and six of the members are huddled around a cot. You start moving toward the huddled group.

Noona! ” Tae cries out, “ Where were you? Are you ok? ” 

I’ll be alright, Tae. Where’s Jungkook, ” you answer.

I’m right here, ” he says, sitting up from the cot behind the group.

Deep purple smudges ring his bloodshot eyes. His skin is pale and sallow. 

He looks like hell. 

And your feet move, unbidden, towards Jungkook. Your body knowing before your mind that you need to touch him. That the tenuous soul bond you’ve started isn’t strong enough to fix this by proximity alone. 

Kneeling next to the cot, you reach out and grab Jungkook’s knees. Even through his clothes, the burst of sensation you feel brings you both immediate relief. The vice on your skull instantly vanishes and you see Jungkook physically relax too.

What happened? ” you whisper to him.

It was like someone was squeezing my throat. And I felt like I couldn't breathe. And then… And then I was sick, ” Jungkook replies bashfully.

And that’s when your mind connects the dots. 

You did this to him. Your panic attack spilled over your soulmate bond into Jungkook and wreaked havoc on his poor body. Seeing the physical manifestation of your inner turmoil tainting someone else makes you feel sick.

You raise your hand and tentatively cup his cheek, rubbing away the crusty remains of a dried tear track. He leans into your hand and whispers, “ It was awful.

I know. I know, ” you murmur, trying to soothe.

What happened to you? Where were you? I thought you… ” he chokes on the words, preventing him from saying what he thought. 

You’re struck mute. You don’t want to explain why you reacted that way to the director's words. Explain who made you this way. You don’t feel ready.

What happened? ” Jungkook repeats more insistently.

I had another panic attack, ” you admit. You hang your head, not being able to meet his eyes because of what it did to him. Shame burns in your throat, making it hard to talk. You drop your hand from his face.

Why? Why do you keep having these panic attacks? ” he asks, reaching for your dropped hand. He isn’t demanding, only genuine concern coloring his gentle tone.

The soft insistence draws your gaze to his. And you can’t see any judgement, no resentment. Only sincerity, and… and something else you can’t quite place.

So you decide that ready or not, it’s time for full disclosure. It’s only fair that he knows. Only fair that he’s given all the facts now, early on, so that he knows exactly what kind of baggage you come with. You take a steadying breath.

I was married once, ” you say resolutely. The shock of your admission rippled around the room. You’d forgotten the rest of the guys were there. They may as well know too.

So you continue.

Trey was not a good person. Of course, he wasn’t like that in the beginning. In the beginning he was all smiles and courtesy. He laid the charm on thick, always the perfect gentleman. And I believed I’d found the next best thing to my actual soulmate, ” You give Jungkook a weak smile. “ We dated for three months before he proposed. We were married 3 months after that. And that’s when things changed...

You needed to take another steadying breath. Jungkook picks up your hands, drawing you up from the floor and onto the cot next to him. He continues holding your hands, giving them an encouraging squeeze.

He started to get angry. Angry at little things, leaving my keys on the counter, or when I was even a minute late. And he’d yell, ” you say, gathering strength for the rest of it.

Did he hit you? ” Jungkook asks, his cold tone reminding you of exactly how Namjoon reacted. Your eyes flit over to Namjoon, whose jaw is clenched so hard you’re sure he’d crack a tooth any second. Jungkook follows your gaze, noting the interaction, but not mentioning it.

No, he never hit me. But he did… other things.

Namjoon had finally reached his limit.

Hey guys, let’s give them a moment.

The leader herded everyone in the room out, leaving you alone with Jungkook. Your fingers intertwine with his and you draw strength from his grasp.

What other things? Did he rape you? ” Jungkook asks point blank, his rage barely concealed.

He’d yell at me and tell me that I was worthless. That I was garbage. That I was lucky he put up with me. How I’d never find anyone who’d put up with me. And then… And then he’d demand sex. And I let him. He had worked over the first year we were married to convince me that I was so stupid, that I believe him. And I let him do those things to me… ” you trail off, not being able to say them right now.

Jungkook squeezes your hand, reminding you that you weren’t alone. That he was there with you, supporting you through this vulnerable moment.

And one day, I realized that I was the frog in the boiling pot of water. You know, the one that slowly lets itself be boiled to death? I had been talking to a friend and I got upset and started apologizing for the stupidest thing. I don’t even remember what it was, but I remember her getting worried and telling me it wasn’t that big of a deal. It got me thinking about how much things had changed since getting married, how much I’d changed. And then she asked if everything was ok at home. I don’t know how she knew, but she did. We talked about how much Trey had changed since we’d gotten married and how angry he’d get. She told me what he was doing wasn’t ok and started calling around to some of the women’s shelters in the area. We made a plan for me to go home and grab my essentials and to get out. And I’ll be forever grateful to her for pulling me out before things got worse. I was able to divorce him and start my life over. But that was also when I started getting panic attacks whenever I got too stressed or overwhelmed .”

You both were quiet for a long moment before Jungkook spoke.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

And you could tell that he meant it. That he saw the grief and pain you’d lain out before him and seen it, truly seen it. It was written plain across your face as you spoke, sharing your trauma with him, trusting him with the most fragile piece of you. 

Thank you. It was hard. So hard. And some days I thought I’d never be free from him. And I guess in some ways, I’m still not entirely free from him. But most days, I’m able to tell that voice in my head to stop spewing lies. You actually helped me do that, ” you said softly.

Me? ” He looked dumbfounded.

Well, not you specifically, but BTS. As I listened to more of your music and heard your message to love myself, it helped me to know that somewhere in the world, you were rooting for me, even though I knew we’d never meet. Well, at least I thought we’d never meet, ” you say with a small smile. He smiled in return.

I’m glad I could help my soulmate even before I ever met her, ” he says, drawing you into a hug.

Wrapped inside his strong arms, you felt safe, truly safe, for the first time in a very long time. You felt like you were home, the soul bond crackling with energy. And you never wanted to leave.

He drew back to look at you, holding you by the shoulders, suddenly looking serious. “ Wait, what triggered the panic attack?

The director yelling at me. He asked if… if I could do anything right. Trey used to say that to me a lot. And when I got triggered, I needed to get out of there. I had to get away. So I ran. And I found an empty truck and, well, you know… ” you trail off. “ I’m sorry I ran. But what happened to you after you threw up? Are you feeling better? ” you pepper, trying to piece together what happened after you left.

I’m feeling much better now that you’re here. ” 

He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear and trails his fingertips down your cheek and across your jaw. The gesture stirs up a sleeping bed of butterflies, nudging a few fluttering into life. 

After I was sick, the guys brought me here and tried to help me feel better. I guess I was feeling a little bit of what you were going through. They looked for you, though, and couldn’t find you anywhere. They got really worried, ” he explains.

I’m sorry I did that to them, to you. I hate that you had to go through that because I couldn’t keep it together, ” you say, regret and shame burning you up from the inside.

Hey, that’s not right. You can’t help it. It’s not like you chose this. Any of this! You didn’t know that guy was going to be an asshole. You didn’t choose to be yelled at. You didn’t choose the panic attacks. You didn’t choose to have them go through the bond... Didn’t choose me, ” he says, starting out firm, but finishing a little miserably. You think about that for a moment before you answer.

“You’re right. I didn’t choose any of that. ” And you see Jungkook’s shoulders slump a little. “ But you have to have the dark to know the light. I don’t hate how my life’s turned out. I have a career that I love. I figured out how to stand up for myself, well, most of the time, anyway. And I found BTS… I found you. ” 

You’re trying to put into your words all of the feelings you already have for him, but can’t quite find the courage to say out loud yet. 

He looks up at you, smiling, his eyes shining and quietly says, “You got me. I got you.”

Notes:

Oh boy, it's been a hard few days for you, hasn't it? You've gotten triggered twice in 3 days. But I feel like even though it sucks, there's been some serious inroads to emotional intimacy here. What do you think?

And how about that shower scene, eh? Lol! This isn't just my first attempt and writing a fanfic, but also my first attempt at smut! Eeek, so any and all feedback on that front is GREATLY appreciated!!

And did you catch the song reference? 50 gold stars to the first person who accurately identifies it in the comment section!

Thank you so much for reading!!

Chapter 10

Summary:

In which Namjoon makes the director apologize, you get cozy on the bus, and have your first fight with Jungkook.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. If there's any dialogue that isn't bold, it's in English (and intentional).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You and Jungkook leave the tent, hand in hand, only to be met by the nervous looking director and an angry Namjoon standing behind him, arms folded and jaw clenched.

When the director notices your hand in Jungkooks, you drop his hand immediately, but the damage is already done.  You see Sejin sighing in exasperation beside Namjoon. And you foresee another NDA in the manager’s future.

I apologize for shouting at you, Y/N-ssi. It was an overreaction and I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. It was not entirely your fault, ” he grumbles and Namjoon clears his throat. “ I mean, it wasn’t your fault and I apologize for yelling,” the director finishes.

It was my fault, director-nim. I shouldn’t have been messing with Seokjin. I should have been focused on the take. Please, forgive me for causing this problem,” Jungkook says, stepping forward and bowing low.

The director looks like he’s not sure what he’s expected to say and looks back at Namjoon, who relaxes somewhat and gives him a curt nod. The little man mumbles something as he scurries away. You look back to Namjoon, gratitude for him growing by the second.

At the edge of the gathering, you can see a guilty looking Jin hovering with the rest of the members, waiting for his chance to say his piece. Jungkook steps toward his hyung and pulls him into a one armed hug.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I know better. I feel like this is all my fault. And I’m so sorry this hurt you, Noona. Can you forgive me?” Jin says, coming out of the embrace.

It’s not your fault, Jin. I don’t blame you or Jungkook. I honestly just want to move on. Ok?” you ask.

The guys all look at Namjoon, waiting for his final word on the matter.

He unsticks his jaw and says, “Let’s head home.

Everyone relaxes and heads towards the makeup tent to retrieve their things. Namjoon catches you before you head inside.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks in English, again giving you the space to unload in the relative privacy that a second language can offer.

“I’ll be alright. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Joonie. You are taking such good care of me and Jungkook. So, thank you. Truly.” Namjoon returns a tentative smile.

“I’ll always look out for you. That director was completely out of line,” he says, frowning in the direction the director went. “And my offer if you need to talk still stands.” He shoots you a smile before heading into the tent.

Jungkook, who isn’t as fluent in English as his leader, can’t quite keep up with your conversation and holds you back from heading inside.

What did hyung say?” he asks, consternation knitting his brow.

He asked if I was alright. I said I was and thanked him for sticking up for you and me,” you explain.

Jungkook thinks for a moment before asking in hesitant English, “Maybe, you help my English more?”

“I’d love to help you with your English, Jungkook,” you smile warmly. Jungkook’s responding smile is just as bright.

“Call me Kook,” he grins, ushering you into the tent, continuing in English.

“Alright, Kook.” 

You flush, tentatively thrilled at the invitation and the closeness it implied. 

Gathering your things, you head towards Sejin. You aren’t sure how you’re getting home, but you are sure that he can point you to the right noona van. Jungkook sees your trajectory and comes over to intercept you.

Noona is going to ride back with me,” he tells the manager, offering no room for argument. He takes your hands and heads back to finish packing his things to leave.

His boldness has taken both you and Sejin by surprise. You didn’t expect Jungkook to take charge like that, but it’s definitely causing all kinds of nervous pleasure to twist in your belly. Who knew he could be such a take charge bunny?

You and the guys pile into the small bus and Jungkook gestures for you to take the seat next to him. The guys kindly leave you both alone on the back row, shooting teasing smiles to each other as they settle in. You try to ignore it. But you’re blushing anyway.

Jungkook scoots so close to you, you’re almost touching. Almost, but not quite. And that small distance starts to drive you crazy when the driver turns out the lights and heads toward the highway in darkness.

You can’t see Jungkook very well in the dark, but you can feel him. You know exactly where he is because of the buzzing tingle racing across your skin, snapping every now and then when a bump or sway causes him to brush up against you. The constant nearness is maddening, making your nerves wind tighter and tighter as the miles fly by.

After 45 minutes of this, you decide you’ve had enough. You tell yourself you’re either going to move away from him or lean in to actually touch him. No more of this almost, in-between business!

And it takes you another 5 minutes to muster up the courage to finally lean into Jungkook’s side. Using your slow speed to seek permission, you lean your head onto his shoulder and finally sigh as the rubber band that’s been twisting inside you is released. And you finally relax. Jungkook feels your release and likewise unwinds, allowing you to snuggle into each other, hidden in the darkness. 

Jungkook lets out a long sigh and laces his fingers with yours. He lazily draws patterns on the back of your hand with a thumb and slowly trials his other fingers across your forearm. The sensation is exciting, but mostly? It’s just so calming. The continual, slow movement of his fingers over your skin, along with the pure exhaustion of the day, draws your eyes closed, and eventually you drift off into blissful sleep.

Should we wake them up? They can’t stay out here all night!” you hear Tae say as you slowly become aware of your surroundings.

“But they look so cute together. Let them have a few more minutes!” Jimin coos.

He won’t thank you for it tomorrow when he gets a cramp in his neck from sleeping like that,” Yoongi drawls.

You wake him up,” Hobi whispers.

No! You wake him up!” Jin whisper-shouts back.

Uhn, come on! You know what he’s like! You wake him up!” Hobi whines.

You hear a furious game of gawi bai bo happening and then gentle hands shake your shoulder.

We’re back. Time to go inside,” Namjoon whispers to you.

Your eyes open and you see him shaking your shoulder as gently as he can. And you feel not so gentle vibrations coming from Jungkook’s side as Hobi shakes him a bit roughly. Looks like Hobi lost.

Yah, wake up already! Come on!” Hobi groans, watching Jungkook struggle towards consciousness.

You look over at Jungkook’s sleepy face. He looks so much younger to you, like this. Eyes closed and sitting up, lips slightly pouting. He’s so out of it and it makes him completely adorable. An endearing smile curls your lips.

You think it’s funny?! You try waking him up then!” Hobi cries, seeing your smile. He storms off the bus.

You laugh at his retreating figure and then glance back to see that Namjoon and Yoongi are the only ones left, looking at you.

Shall I get him inside then?” you ask. They look at you skeptically.

Do you think you’re strong enough to carry him in?” Yoongi asks. You shake your head. He nods in resignation. “Joon-ah, you get one arm, I’ll get the other?

Namjoon scoots around you, pulling on Jungkook’s arm as Yoongi pulls on the other. Jungkook groans and pulls his arms out of their grasp.

Leave me alone,” Jungkook mumbles.

Really, guys, I’ll handle it,” you offer. They look at you one more time before shaking their heads and exiting the bus. It’s just you and Jungkook now. The lights are low, and you’re still snuggled up pretty cozily in the back row of the bus.

Jungkook. Jungkook…” you say, shaking him. His head tilts backward to rest on the seat behind him and continues to ignore you.

Kook, Kookie… ” you croon. You lean towards his face, bringing your lips close to his ear. “ Kookie. You need to get up right now and go to bed,” you breathe into his ear, voice low and husky from sleep. 

The sound rouses him and he turns his head. Because you’re so close, your lips drag whisper soft across his cheekbone as he shifts. Day old stubble drags across your lips, and the blissful tingling it incites is causing heat to pool in your belly. You lick your lips as you slowly pull back, trying to ease some of the sensation still buzzing there.

When you’ve pulled back enough to see Jungkook’s entire face, you see that he is one hundred percent awake now, no trace of sleep found in his doe-shaped eyes. His eyes focus on your face, flitting every so often to your lips. You return his gaze mirroring the same surprise and heated intensity, an unspoken question hanging in the air. 

Heart racing, you steal a look at his lips. It would take no effort at all for you to lean in, to close the distance between you and taste him. None at all, you think, as you watch his eyes shift from wide surprise to hooded desire. 

Those eyes drop to your still tingling lips, and finally he leans in, lips parted. You wait, watching as he slowly moves, Inching closer, and closer. You close your eyes, raising your chin in anticipation, waiting for your lips to meet. To feel their softness on yours. His breath mingles with yours, the heat from his skin radiating over yours, and your breathing stills in anticipation.

Hey! What’s taking you so long?!” Namjoon’s booming voice announces as he climbs into the bus.

You and Jungkook spring apart like two teenagers caught necking. Which, to be fair, is exactly what you both were about to do.

Namjoon is stunned, mouth slightly open, and all three of you stew in the awkwardness of the moment.

Ah, well, I’m just… Yeah, ahem, I’m gonna go,” Namjoon stammers. He rushes off the bus, and you can just catch the tips of very pink ears as he rushes away.

You turn back to see Jungkook, hunched over, hands covering his face, clearly overcome by embarrassment or frustration. You’re not sure which. But he doesn’t move or speak.

I’m going to head inside, ” you say, frustrated about the missed moment. Damnit, Kim Namjoon!

I’m coming. Just give me a second,” Jungkook mutters.

You nod and stand up, gathering your things. Looking back at Jungkook one last time, you sigh and step off the bus. You almost swear you can hear a growl emanating from behind you as you walk away, heading back to your room.

A desperate need to wash away the sweat and stress of the day overcomes you. You quickly grab your pajamas and head to the welcome haven of that amazing shower.. 

Once you’ve successfully washed the day down the drain, you take your time getting ready for bed. You actually take your time as you dry and style your hair. Running your fingers through your hair feels so soothing. And it gives your hands something to do as your mind wanders, thinking over the events of the day. 

You recall that moment in the gym this morning. When Jungkook came to your rescue and resulted in the both of you sharing your first touch since the initial bonding. 

And then you think over the sweet moments shared in the kitchen with the older four members of BTS. They had been so kind and tried so hard to show you how welcome you were. And you did feel it, that acceptance of your presence in their lives. You were so, so grateful for it. 

You laugh when you remember calling Yoongi a nudist.

But then you mind skitters over the day on set. It shies away from the painful parts, the memory still raw and tender. Your thoughts instead drift to the moment in the tent, where you had shared a small glimpse at the darkest part of you. You had been so afraid that he would see that nest of writhing darkness and immediately throw you away. Certain that he would tell you there’d been some kind of cosmic mistake, that there was no way you could be his soulmate, and then show you the door.

Instead, he’d sat there with you, sharing in your grief and pain. Acknowledging the ugliness, but choosing to focus on you. Taking you by the hand and wrapping you inside his light. And you had felt so safe with him.

But then you remember that while the director was shouting at you, no one spoke up. No one came to your aid. Yes, you were in charge of cueing Jin and Jungkook, but they were the ones who were goofing off! They interrupted the shoot, not you! And you know they’ve done this for years! So why were they messing around while they knew they needed to be focused? 

You were torn to shreds in front of so many people and Jungkook, your soulmate, just stood there and let it happen. Why would he do that? He had shown so much tenderness back in the tent, but was that because he felt guilty? That he knew he should’ve stepped up and taken responsibility for his horseplay. And because he didn’t, he felt he owed you something?

Your head is spinning. Your feelings so jumbled, you aren’t quite sure which way is up. And then thinking about your almost kiss on the bus has you even more knotted up. You had been so caught up in the moment and the thought that he might feel something for you too, that you had been more than happy to kiss him. 

But now you’re a little horrified that you would’ve let yourself step into physical intimacy with a man you weren’t certain actually cared for you. He’d put up a good show, making you think that he actually cared for you, when in reality he probably just felt guilty and was happy to get some action when the opportunity arose. It was your ex-husband all over again.

You lay down your brush carefully, suddenly feeling very cold as the reality of Jungkook’s actions, or rather inaction, washes over you. And the face staring back at you in the vanity mirror is grim.

I have to ask him, you think. You can’t take the uncertainty of not knowing where you stand any longer. Of this waffling back and forth. So better to find out now if all he feels is guilt. Because if that’s the case, isn’t it better, kinder, to set up boundaries now and make them immovable? Already the lines between you were becoming too hazy to make out. And you’ll be damned if you’ll let someone ever emotionally manipulate you again.

So you stiffen your spine and head back to your room, hoping by now Jungkook has come up. Each step, you’re adding pieces to your armor, reinforcing it. Making it impenetrable.

You find him lying on top of his bed, still in the day's clothes with his arm thrown over his eyes. 

Are you asleep?” you say quietly.

No, just… thinking,” he answers.

Good. I wanted to ask you something.

He sits up, your tone making him wary.

Sure. What’s up?” he asks.

You take a deep breath. 

Why didn’t you say anything? Before? When I was getting yelled at? You said you had me. So then why would you let me get publicly berated? Why would you let someone do that to me? To your soulmate?

You struggle to get through your speech, biting your lip to hold back the tears. You’re angry and sad and hurt. You thought you had connected. You thought he understood you. And now you’re not so sure. And that guts you.

You try to hold his gaze, waiting for him to speak, but he just looks… blank. So you shake your head and leave, his silence being answer enough for you.

But a hand on your wrist stops you. You turn to find Jungkook, staring fiercely into your eyes.

I would never have let him, or anyone else, do that to you. It was my fault that I ruined my outfit. And he shouldn’t have yelled at you, but… ” he trails off, seeming to search for the right words.  

But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think! Suddenly I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t know what was happening. I felt so sick, so scared and awful, that I threw up. And after I threw up, my head was swimming. I’ve never felt that way before, felt like I wasn’t in control of my own mind or body. 

I think… I think that I was feeling your emotions. Your attack… through the bond or something. I didn’t know that was possible, but it’s happened twice now. And both times, when you went through… that… It affected me. I’ve never experienced something so awful.

But you were standing right there! You or Jin could’ve said something to the director before things spun out of control! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!” you say, raising your voice a little.

Because… Because I know better, ok?! I should've been focused! I should’ve left Jin-hyung alone, but I didn’t! And I was embarrassed! And by the time I realized I should have stepped in, I started gasping for air and Jin’s focus turned to me,” he says, grasping for explanations.

And then Jungkook was quiet for a moment before continuing, handing his head.

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that because… Because I was a coward,” Jungkook says, defeated.

His face twists in shame. He knows he’s let you down. That he’d messed up. And you have suffered as a result. You knew was beating himself up inside because of it. 

I’m sorry, Noona. I should’ve protected you and I didn’t. I’m so sorry,” he says quietly, head hanging.

And your heart softens.

But it isn’t quite ready to trust Jungkook completely.

Thank you for apologizing,” you say quietly. He looks up at you, eyes a little hopeful. But when he sees you turning away to head to the couch, expression guarded, he realizes your thanks is all he’s going to get that night.

Notes:

I cannot tell you how much I struggled with this chapter. The first time I wrote it, it went COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY and the writing felt so forced and weird. But then I talked to a friend of mine and she helped me realize a few things. So I scrapped it and started over. And this felt more right, you know? But I was still struggle bussing it on the actual wording of it. Ugh.

I wanted to warn you that because of the upcoming holiday season (which is even crazier in our house because we have 3 birthdays crammed in between Thanksgiving and Christmas in our family), that I may only be getting one chapter out a week, if that. Eek. I'm sorry!! I will do my best to get the chapters written, though! I promise!

And I can't thank you all enough for reading my drivel and commenting. It seriously makes my freaking day to get comments from my readers. Hope you're all having a great day!! :)

Chapter 11

Summary:

In which you get your period and sing karaoke.

Notes:

HAPPY CONCERT DAY TO EVERYONE WHO'S ATTENDING!!

Hope this helps to while away the time standing in those merch lines!!!

And as always, everything in bold is spoken in Korean. :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The next few days fall into a familiar rhythm. You get up and head to the office with the guys in the morning, work, come home, repeat. Hybe has offered to let you use one of their smaller recording booths, allowing you to work in peace and quiet. Sometimes there’s a faint pull that tugs on your attention, telling you Jungkook must be nearby, but more often than not, their schedules are so full, you don’t see much of any of them. And you haven’t been asked to join them on site again for filming or photoshoots, for which you’re secretly very grateful. You don’t think you’re cut out to be a production assistant. 

The days feel so much longer because you’re separated from Jungkook for long stretches of the day. Normally you would end your work day because your voice would give out first. But now, you’re having to stop because of the headache and accompanying ringing in your ears that shows up by 4:00 pm every day. 

You do your best to nurse your headaches until Jungkook comes to let you know they’re done for the day. But it’s hard to wait, as sometimes they will work until the wee hours of the morning. In those cases, Jungkook will come and get a 30 minute break in which to “recharge”. It happens at some point in the early evening so you can go home and he can get back to work. 

You still haven’t touched at all since that day, and you’ve both fallen back into your awkward, stilted interactions. Rarely will either of you make conversation with the other, preferring instead to sit side by side on a couch and nervously scroll on your phones. You want to talk to him, want to work through this sticky spot. But with each passing day, it seems more and more difficult to get the words out. So instead, you stay silent, feeling the gap between you grow wider and wider.

At least the guys got you a real bed. When Taehyung realized you were still sleeping on the couch, with no intention of sleeping anywhere else, he and Namjoon ordered a bed and set it up next to Jungkook’s. You were so grateful, you could've kissed them. As it was, you already needed a chiropractor from your many nights on the sofa

Two days before you are slated to leave for Jeju, you’re greeted by cramps in your stomach and a small stain in your underwear just after lunch. You raise your thanks to the good of luck to the heavens. At least this way you’re not going to be worrying about your monthly “visitor” while you’re in a swimsuit on the beach.

But these cramps are becoming a bitch already.

Not having expected this, you hadn’t come to work prepared. You hear back to your recording space and grab your things. Sejin has given you the contact information for the company cars to use, since they do not want to risk discovery. So you arrange for a car to pick you up and take you back to work after changing and grabbing your menstrual cup. The entire ride home, you tried everything to distract yourself from the awful pain radiating from your belly. 

By the time you pull up to the dorm, it's mid afternoon and apparently your cramps before had only been a warm-up session. You tell the driver that you're not going to need him to take you back after all, and thank him as you climb out and head inside.

Taking off your shoes, at the door, you double over in pain. These cramps are so much worse than normal. They're intense and unrelenting, taking your breath away as a fresh cramp radiates through you. 

As you practically crawl upstairs, you decide to take as much Advil as you’re allowed in one dose and take a hot bath.

It takes the worst edge off your cramps, allowing you to gather a heating pad, some blankets and pillows and create a pillow palace on the couch. You turn on the tv and start scrolling channels, landing on a kdrama you've seen so many times, you could almost quote it.

Before you know it, the sound of your phone rouses you from your cocoon on the couch. The heat, along with the lull of the tv had made for excellent napping conditions, and physically exhausted, you had drifted off to sleep.

It takes a minute, but your eyes finally focus on the time. It was 5:30 and you had a string of missed texts from Jungkook and the group chat, and several missed calls, one of which you'd been too addled to answer just now. You open the latest text from Jungkook.

 

Jungkook: I’m almost done. Meet me downstairs in 10 minutes?

Jungkook: Hey, are you running late?

Jungkook: Are you coming?

Jungkook: Where are you? I checked your studio, but you’re not there.

Jungkook: Please answer the phone.

Jungkook: Where are you? Everyone's worried, ok?

Jungkook: Noona! Where are you?!

Jungkook: I can’t feel you anywhere in the building! Where are you?!

 

The text thread makes your heart clench. Single minded, you’d headed home to take care of your cramps without letting anyone else know. You were so used to operating on your own, that you hadn’t thought twice about the fact that people, Jungkook especially, would be expecting you.

Your fingers are navigating to call Jungkook back when the door bursts open.

Noona?! Are you here?! Noona! ” Jungkook shouts at the top of his lungs. 

He’s running into the house, head on swivel, searching for you. His eyes finally land on you and he sighs, eyes closing and shoulders drooping. Seeing his panic does nothing but make your heart prickle with more guilt as he walks over to your nest on the couch. 

After your relationship with Jungkook had chilled, you had started to wonder if your argument had killed any feelings Jungkook might have had for you. And with that cooling, had come distance. Distance that had pushed Jungkook to the edges of your notice. You hardly interact these days. In fact you're certain you've gotten more face time with the rest of the members than you have with Jungkook.

But all the same, you should’ve called. You know you should’ve let him know you were leaving early. And seeing him worked up because he didn’t know where you were, seeing his concern for you, makes you wince.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t feeling well and came home early. I should’ve let you know, but I didn’t think… ” you trail off.

Are you sick? What’s wrong? Do you need to go to the doctor? ” he says, starting to look panicked again.

I’m not sick, it’s just my, uh... monthly visitor? ” You were more than a little mortified to tell him you were on your period. 

Sure enough, he cocks his head and looks confused at your reference.

You know, my… ” You can’t seem to get the words out, cheeks heating up.

She means her period, ” Yoongi says bluntly, coming into the kitchen, the rest of the guys trailing behind him. 

Jungkooks face would be comical if you hadn’t felt so wretched for forgetting him. A few of the guys laugh at the innocent maknae as they file past and then on to their rooms.

Do you need anything? ” Namjoon asks, coming to stand next to Jungkook. Of course he would check in. He at least grew up with a sister

No, I’ve got everything I need already. I’m probably going to be camped out here on the couch for a while, ” you say, feeling a little bad for commandeering the living room on top of being thoughtless.

Should we order some delivery? Anything you’re in the mood for? ” Namjoon asks. Jungkook looks like he’s finally recovered from his shock and is watching Namjoon.

Thank God for Namjoon , you think. He’s thoughtful and considerate. Two things you clearly need to work on. 

Jjajangmyeon would be amazing right now, ” you groan.

I’ll go order some for everyone, ” Namjoon says as he walks away. 

Jungkook looks a little lost, like his concern is still lingering even though everything was fine all along and he doesn't know what to do with it. His eyes look everywhere except straight at you.

I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, ” he says finally, before turning abruptly to leave. You try to stop him, but he pretends not to hear your protests and bounds up the stairs.

Tae comes over to the couch, standing behind you as you both watch Jungkook’s retreating figure.

He was a wreck, you know, ” Tae says cooly. You wince.

I’m sorry. I didn’t think- ” you start.

Exactly. You didn’t think, ” he says. And he pins you with a look that says he expected better of you. 

You clearly did not pass his vibe check today.

It won't happen again, ” you mumble.

Uh huh, ” he says as he glides away in his Gucci slippers.

You sat there, thinking about what Tae said, about how to fix this. How do you go about repairing the damage that you’ve done? How do you build a bridge when you're not even sure there's another side for you to cross to?

And it's not even a decision you consciously make; You're up and off the couch, headed toward your room. You can't fix anything by sitting here. It starts with you saying sorry.

You knock on the door, asking to come in. A faint grunt comes from inside, and you push the door open. Jungkook is playing a game on his computer and already you realize this conversation is probably not going to be fruitful. But you decide to try anyway.

" Hey, what’re you playing? " you try to say causally.

" Overwatch, " he replies.

" Cool, " you say, feeling awkward.

You sit and watch him play for a few minutes. Feeling it would be counterproductive to try to have this conversation in the middle of his game, you wait until the round is over to speak.

" I wanted to say sorry for not telling you that I left earlier. It was completely thoughtless of me and I should have let you know. I'm sorry. "

He only nods, acknowledging he heard you. 

Waiting for his reply seems to take an eternity. But you're willing to wait. Wanting to give him plenty of opportunity to take the proffered olive branch. 

Jungkook looks like he's gearing up for another round, when he hesitates.

" I wasn't the only one worried. They all were, " he says, not turning around to look at you. You make a mental note to go and apologize to everyone for causing distress.

" I didn't know, " you hang your head, speaking to your lap.

" And when I couldn't feel you I… I thought something bad had happened. "

You feel awful. He must've been so scared. And you hate that you caused it. But a small voice tells you he wouldn't have been that worried if he didn't care about you, at least a little. And that realization gives you the courage to keep pushing. You move to where he can see you and try again.

" I'm so sorry. I was hurting and I was only thinking about myself. It's not an excuse,I know, but it won't happen again, I promise. I am so very sorry. Can you forgive me? "

You reach out a tentative hand, holding it out for him to take or not. Letting him make the choice. You're ready to start repairing the fragile connection between you, but you're not going to force it on him. That wouldn't be fair. So you wait a moment longer, hopeful that he'll reach out too.

But the moment stretches on. And when it looks like he's never going to take your hand, you drop your arm.

His rejection stings. No, it more than stings. 

It's gutting.

You draw in a shaky breath, holding back the tears beginning to prickle in your eyes. Wanting to get out of this awkward situation, you turn to leave. 

Until you feel a tug on your shirt sleeve.

You see Jungkook's fingers pinching the fabric. He looks like a man torn. Conflicted. He doesn't meet your eyes, preferring to stare at the ground. But he utters a single word.

" Wait. "

He raises his head, eyes wide… Seeking. He's searching your face, looking at you with frustration, concern, and is that tenderness?

You are so surprised that all you can do is nod. Jungkook turns to face you fully now, round eyes wide and full of cautious hope.

Can we talk? ” he asks tentatively.

A rush of relief flows through you and your knees threaten to give out. So you hurry to sit back down.

I would really like that, " you whisper.

A smile appears on both your faces as you laugh out the tension of the moment. Jungkook releases your sleeve only to wring his own hands, uncertain of where to start, it seems. So you decide to spare him the agony, and speak first.

I really am sorry. I'm sorry I didn't check in. And I'm sorry I haven't been as open to….this, ” you gesture, finger circling between you and him. " It's been so hard to adjust to having someone else in my life and I got scared. Scared that I’d get hurt again. But I’ll do better, Jungkook, I promise.

Kook, ” he says. You’re momentarily confused. “ I told you to call me Kook ,” he says grinning, reminding you of your chat in the tent the other night.

You’re right, ” you smile. “ I’m sorry, Kook.

Look, we both have some things we need to work on, I think. But… We have a lifetime to figure it out. Together, if you want, ” he says tenderly.

His words stoke the dying embers of hope in your heart. You thought things between you had been broken so thoroughly, that all you dared hope for was a peaceful coexistence. And then with this evening’s events, you had messed up your chance of having even that kind of relationship.

But now, the very real, very intense longing that you’d been trying to shove into the closet of your heart, bursts out. And you know you’d never be able to ignore it ever again.

Together, ” you reply just as tenderly.

You’re both smiling at each other when you get a text from the group chat.

 

Namjoon: Noodles are here! Come eat before they get soggy.

Hobi: Yes!! Are we getting some wine out, too???

Tae: Let me get it!!

 

Jungkook stands up and holds out a hand to you after reading the texts.

Shall we? ” he asks.

You take his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

I’d love to, ” you smile.

 

Downstairs, the guys are passing out bowls of dark, almost black sauce coated noodles. And your mouth starts to water. You’ve always craved salty foods on your period. Not chocolate or sweets, salty, umami, flavor bombs. And the smell of the jjajangmyeon is making you giddy.

As you walk in, hand in hand with Jungkook, a few of the guys seem to take notice. But no one comments. Tae, however, seems somewhat mollified, seeing Jungkook smiling, because he comes to sit next to you at the table as everyone gets ready to dig in.

Noodles are slurped and the drinks are flowing. Everyone seems so happy and relaxed. Watching the guys interact like this reminds you of all those episodes of “In the Soop”. They’re all gathered together to eat and chat, sometimes talking over each other, laughing and just relaxing. It makes your heart lighter seeing this rare glimpse of BTS, just being themselves. 

It especially makes you so happy watching Jungkook laugh and talk with his hyungs. He seems so much surer of himself with them, so much freer, and it makes you yearn for that level of closeness with him. You know it might take years, but you fiercely want it all the same. 

After dinner, while the wine is still out, Jin suggests pulling out the karaoke machine, creating a diy noraebang, since they can’t really go out right now. You eagerly agree, knowing you’re about to get a private BTS concert

The machine is brought out and hooked up. They start singing songs you’re not familiar with, but enjoy all the same. It isn’t long before the guys pester you to sing something. Yoongi unhelpfully reminds them all that he’s heard you sing, which only makes the protests even louder.

Ok! Ok! I’ll only sing if someone sings with me! ” you say.

Jungkook! Sing with her! She is your soulmate after all! ” Jimin says enthusiastically.

Jungkook has been sitting by your side most of the night, every now and then brushing up against one another. He’s held your hand on and off throughout the evening, allowing you to feel satisfied and full of energy for the first time in days. And, almost miraculously, your cramps have all but disappeared.

You pull Jungkook to his feet and drag him over to the mic.

Sing with me? ” you ask a little nervously, but emboldened from the wine.

What do you want to sing? ” he asks, watching you with smiling eyes.

Well, I’m not familiar with many Korean songs, so it’ll have to be in English or a BTS song, ” you say. 

Hmm, what about Butterfly? ” he suggests.

I love that song, ” you say quietly. “ But you have had to do the rap parts! I think we’ve all established that I can’t rap, ” you add loudly, sticking your tongue out at Yoongi.

The rap line bursts out in laughter, Jungkook’s smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.

As Jungkook cues up the song, you’re thinking over the lyrics and how well they fit your current situation. The song is about the uncertainty of falling in love. About how you can want something so much that you’re afraid of it. Things with Jungkook have seemed so tenuous, like the smallest breeze would crumble everything you’ve done to try to get closer to him. That if you hold on any tighter, you’ll crush it. But if you let go, it will flutter away like a butterfly.

The familiar music starts and suddenly you're extremely nervous. You’re about to sing in front of men whose music has sold out stadiums around the world. If it wasn’t for Jungkook’s steadying presence beside you, you’re sure you wouldn’t be able to sing a single note.

But you start singing, and although you’re a little shaky at first, once you get going, singing feels so good, so natural. Like the song is effortlessly falling from your lips. Especially when Jungkook starts harmonizing and ad libbing next to you, supporting you from underneath. The sound of your voices together is nothing short of extraordinary. It’s like your voices were made to sing together. Which, you lamely realize, is exactly what they are. Your voices were made for each other, because every part of you is a complement of him. A blending of two people in perfect harmony.

And then you feel the most wondrous explosion of soul energy. It’s like you can feel it push from your skin and mingle with his, a miasma of sparkling energies floating around you both. You’ve never experienced such bliss, such complete satisfaction. It’s almost euphoric.

You can see your own excitement and wonder mirrored back in Jungkook’s eyes as he revels in the sounds you create together, the feeling of your energies mixing in the air around you. Singing with him is a joy and when the song comes to an end, you’re a bit crestfallen. You could have sung with him for hours. 

You’ve been so absorbed into your own little world, eyes locked on Jungkook’s, feeling your soul bond blossom and grow, basking in the afterglow of your song, that when a throat is cleared nearby, you jump, startled.

Damn, ” Hobi says, shock and awe plain across his face.

Agreed, ” says Namjoon, similarly dazzled.

You hang your head at the shower of compliments heaped on the both of you, cheeks reddening with equal parts pride and embarrassment. An argument then breaks out between the rest of the vocal line as to who gets to sing with you next.

Jungkook bends his head down to whisper in your ear. “ That was incredible. I can’t wait to do it again. ” 

He pulls back and sends you a heated smile. A smile that sends shivers down your spine in anticipation.

Jin wins the requisite game of gawi bai bo, which they use to settle every dispute in this house, and steps up to the mic with you. He boldly demands you sing “Epiphany” with him. You laugh and tell him he should take lead on this one, since it’s his song. 

You sing with him, harmonizing with him easily, nerves gone, just simply enjoying the ease that has come over you. It’s like a stone has been lifted off your shoulders, and the lightness you feel is heady. You keep stealing looks at Jungkook, who sat back down on the couch with the rest of the guys. Always finding his eyes glued on you, a smile never far from his lips. His attention makes you blush.

The wine has been flowing this whole time and has been joined with some whiskey. Cheek redden and the quality of singing starts to take a sharp downhill turn. But then Yoongi mumbles something you can’t quite make out.

I want ‘Daechwita’ again! ” Yoongi demands loudly in a fit of drunken giggles. 

The guys all laugh, recalling the story about your rapping debacle. And then the rap line is jostling you up to the mic to embarrass yourself as you try to rap. The wine has loosened you up, though, and you rap your heart out, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hobi all hyping you up. There is so much laughter and giddiness that your sides and cheeks hurt when you’re finally allowed to step down several songs later.

Sinking next to Jungkook, you look over at him, laughter still spilling from you. His own laughter crinkling his eyes down to slits, you see something shift in his gaze. And suddenly, the tension between you isn’t strained, like it has been for days. 

It’s charged. 

You realize how closely you’re sitting next to him, every point of contact with him zinging from the touch. Your faces are inches apart and the desire to be closer to him is overwhelming. Frozen by fear and indecision, you stare, looking for any hint of encouragement from him. Any sign of invitation.

That is until Namjoon bumps into Jimin on accident, knocking him straight into Jungkook’s lap. The boys wrestle with each other for a moment good naturedly. You watch the boys grappling each and decide you’d better get out of the way unless you’d like an elbow to the nose.

Standing, and stretching, you feel the wine catching up to you, making the room tilt slightly. Feeling tired as well as tipsy, you decide it’s probably time to make your exit. You almost get up to leave without saying anything to Jungkook, before you check yourself. Isn’t that what got you into hot water only mere hours ago? So you tap Jungook’s shoulder, grabbing his attention.

I’m pretty tired. I think I should head to bed, ” you say, leaning in to speak to him. He nods and hops up from the ground.

I’ll come with you, ” he says and then turns to his hyungs. “ We’re headed to bed. Good night!

A barrage of jeers meets his comment and causes his ears to turn pink.

Sure… Get lots of sleep ! ” Tae jokes.

Jungkook is going to be so well rested tomorrow! ” Jin barks out, his windshield wiper laugh adding to the din.

Jungkook rolls his eyes at his hyungs, and in a fit of cockiness, drapes an arm around your shoulders, blows them a kiss, and guides you away. The chorus of catcalls and whooping grows louder still as you both head toward the stairs. 

As soon as you're out of sight of the guys, Jungkook drops his arm, looking a bit sheepish.

Sorry, ” he mumbles.

It’s ok. I didn’t mind, ” you say, hopeful he might draw you into his side again.

Instead, he reaches for your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours. You smile, feeling the warmth and roughness of his hand alongside the tingles from the soulmate connection. He gently pulls you towards the stairs and into your room. 

Neither of you want to let go of the other’s hand, but you really don’t want to sleep in jeans either. So you give his hand a squeeze before letting go, heading towards your tiny space in the closet where your clothes hang. 

Jungkook peeks over your shoulder, grimacing at the small selection . 

That’s all you have? ” he asks.

Yeah. I was only supposed to be here for two weeks, ” you say. 

You jolt, thinking about what would’ve happened if you’d never bumped into Jungkook in the first place? You would’ve gone about your trip and gone home, none the wiser that your soulmate lived halfway around the world.

But then you marvel at how fate brought you together. Even if you hadn’t connected on the plane like you did, you probably would’ve bumped into him at HYBE. And you suddenly wish that had been the case, because you think it would’ve saved you both a few days of worry and exhaustion. 

You’ll need different things for the trip to Jeju, ” he says, bringing your focus back to your wardrobe.

Oh. Ok. What kind of things? ” you ask.

Clothes for warmer weather, like shorts, hats, sunglasses, sandals, swimsuits… ” His ears go a little pink at the mention of swimsuits. And you don’t blame him. The idea of seeing him in a swimsuit makes your heart race.

Alright. I guess I should go shopping tomorrow. Maybe Hobi or Tae can come with me, ” you suggest, knowing they both love to shop. Jungkook doesn’t strike you as someone who enjoys it.

I like shopping, ” Jungkook says, a little too quickly. “ What I mean is, I could take you… If that’s alright?

That would be nice! When do you think you can get away? ” you ask, internally bouncing at the prospect of spending more time with Jungkook tomorrow.

Probably in the afternoon. I’ll clear it with Sejin and we’ll go, ” he says, smiling.

It’s a date, ” you say before realizing the implications of what you’re saying. You rush to correct yourself. “ Not a date! I meant, it’s a plan. A plan. Not a date… ” you trail off.

He smiles at your rambling.

It’s a date, ” he says smiling, reaching around you to grab his own pajamas, leaving you a bit dazzled.

Notes:

I hope all my American readers had a happy Thanksgiving full of good food and good company.

And to everyone attending the concerts this and next week, stay safe and HAVE SO MUCH FUN!! I cannot wait to partying with the boys next week!! I'll be hitting up the last two concerts and I could cry because it's my first *REAL* concert since BTS came into my life.

ANYWAYS!! This was a longer chapter. It had a little angst, but some fluff too. What do you think? There's been some time for "you" to cool off and reassess. And "you're" going on a date!! WAHOO!! And then "you're" off to Jeju!! Are you excited, because I'm excited! Haha!

So because of the concert, there may or may not be an update next week. Depends how much I get written on the airplane. HA! I hope you enjoyed this! And thank you, always, for reading and commenting! It makes me smile so much!

Chapter 12

Summary:

In which you snuggle and go on your "date".

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook heads to the bathroom first, brushing his teeth and changing for bed allowing you to change in the room. You head to the bathroom to wait your turn to brush your hair and teeth and bump into Namjoon in the hallways, likewise waiting for the bathroom. You decide to use the opportunity to apologize to him for making him worry today.

Hey Joonie! ” you call. His head snaps up from his phone.

Hey Noona, ” he says, flashing his dimples at you.

I wanted to say sorry to you, and to everyone eventually, for making you worry today. It won’t happen again!

Oh, no worries! I’m just glad you were ok! Are you feeling better? ” he asks. He’s always making sure you’re taken care of. 

“Yes, much better. Thank you, ” you say smiling.

Oh hey, what’re you up to tomorrow? ” Namjoon asks.

I am going shopping with Jungkook in the afternoon. Why? What’s up? ” you ask.

Oh, well, I had just thought that maybe you needed some things for the trip and was going to offer to take you shopping. But it sounds like Kook has it covered, ” he says, looking a bit disappointed.

Yeah, I think he might be embarrassed by my pitiful wardrobe. I feel like a hobo next to you guys in all your Louis Vitton and Gucci and all the other high end names that I could never in a million years afford, ” you tease.

Nah, Jungkook would never. And you’re much prettier than any hobo I’ve ever seen, ” he blushes. 

You also blush a bit at the compliment. But you’re saved from having to answer by Jungkook appearing in the doorway. He nods to Namjoon and looks at you.

Coming? ” he asks you.

Just give me a minute to brush my teeth. Joonie was waiting first though. Go ahead Joon, ” you say.

He shakes his head and says, “ Ladies first.”

You thank him, letting him know you’ll be quick. As you’re brushing your teeth, getting ready for bed, you think over your evening and flush with pleasure. Not only had it felt so easy, so natural, but you felt truly happy and complete for the first time since you'd touched on the flight from Seoul, a whisper of things to come. And a shiver of excitement runs through you.

When you return to your room, Jungkook is scrolling his phone on the bed. He turns to you as you enter, rising from the bed. You want to tell him how wonderful the evening had been, but can't find the words. They somehow get lost between your mind and your lips, mind blank as you walk towards him.

Jungkook saves you from your stewing and says, " You have a beautiful voice."

You blush. " Thank you, but it was only because I was singing with you. Your voice could make anyone sound amazing ."

The compliment makes him shy.

" Ehh, no! It was all you! I just did harmony. "

You can’t help but flush at the compliment. In your most secret, hidden part of your heart, you held a hope of singing with Jungkook one day. You had always told yourself it was a stupid dream because how on Earth could you, of all the people in the universe, ever have the chance to sing with Jungkook? The odds were staggeringly small. But back then, even knowing that it would never happen, the idea still lingered in the shadows, even if your conscious mind refused to acknowledge it.

" Hey, do you remember the birthday vlive you did last year, in 2021? " you ask.

He cocks his head, confused at the seemingly random question.

" Hmm, I think so, why? "

" Because it was the first time I felt like I got to sing with you. Just you, not in concert, not with your songs on the radio, just your voice and mine, " you say, your buzz making you feel bold.

Confusion gives way to surprise as he seems to remember the occasion.

" You were coming up with a song for ARMY on the spot. You know, creating the melody and then the harmonies? Well, I was actually able to catch that vlive. Most of the time I'm asleep when you guys go live. But I'd been in my booth, working when I got the notification. I decided to take a break and celebrate with you, " you admit. Jungkook looks at you, astonished.

 " And I came up with the exact same harmonies that you did, as you were singing them. Like, somehow, we had connected, on opposite sides of the world, for a brief moment, ” you share, unable to look him in the eye. “It was such a beautiful moment to me. I never thought I'd ever be able to top that experience… Until tonight, " you admit.

You had treasured that moment, watching and singing with that vlive. The small, faint connection you'd felt singing with him that day hinting at a much greater connection, even though you hadn't known it at the time. But the memory paled in comparison to what you had experienced tonight. And you couldn't let this moment pass unremarked upon.

" It felt so right, singing with you tonight. I really hope we get to do it again, soon, " you say, finally finishing your speech.

Jungkook is silent and still, processing your confession. His eyes search your face

" I remember that live. And I remember feeling like it was special, but I didn't know why, " he says, eyes scrunched in wonder.

He takes a step closer to you.

" I think I know why now, " he murmurs, reaching for your hand, weaving fingers together. “ It was you.

He rubs his thumbs across the back of your hand. You soak in the moment, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his, thinking you’re so happy, you could purr. Finally! Finally things seem to be moving in the right direction. The past few days have been equally frustrating and sad, always feeling like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back. But tonight, you seemed to have closed some of the gap between you. You just hope you don’t figure out a way to screw it up again.

Jungkook clears his throat, bringing you out of your reverie.

I have an early morning, so I’d better get to bed. And I’m not looking forward to my hangover tomorrow, ” he sighs.

Me neither, ” you admit, feeling a little more than tipsy yourself.

Mmmm, ” he hums. 

He’s reluctant to release your hand. And you can’t blame him. It feels amazing. It feels so right. And when you realize you wouldn’t have to let him go if you were in the same bed together, you kick yourself for being so insistent on having your own bed. 

Jungkook speaks up finally, still holding your hand.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed it for yourself, but I seem to recover from things faster when we’re touching… ” he trails off, looking a bit sheepish about his next request. 

So I was wondering if, maybe, you’d come sit with me for a bit? I think I drank a little too much tonight, ” he rushes, hooking a thumb at the bed behind him. 

You don’t even have to think about your answer.

Absolutely.

His answering smile could power all of Seoul tonight. He pulls back the covers and hops into bed, propping himself up on his bed, making space for you to climb in after him. 

You had thought perhaps he had meant, just sitting side by side and maybe holding hands. So when he raises his arm, inviting you to snuggle in next to him, you’re caught off guard. You lean with your back against his chest, his arm draped around you on one side and his other hand holding yours. The crook where neck meets shoulder becomes your head’s pillow as you get settled. 

You’re leaning stiffly against him, trying desperately to not let all your weight fall against him, nervous about the sudden intimacy. And when the muscles in your lower back start screaming at you to move, you feel Jungkook’s body slowly relax, his fingers laced in yours falling open a bit, his arm holding you a little less tightly. 

Thinking this might be his way of saying he’s done, you turn to tell him you’ll head back to your bed. But you find him, head tilted back, mouth open slightly, breathing slowly. The innocent, unguarded openness on his face makes him look even younger than he is. It’s so endearing, making your heart squeeze with a fierce desire to hold him tightly and protect him. From what, you’re not sure, but you know in that moment, that you would do anything, fight anyone, on his behalf. 

The idea of letting him stay sleeping sitting up seems wrong, so you help pull him down sideways so he’s laying down. The covers don’t cover him completely, but you tuck them in around him as best you can. 

Looking down at his relaxed face, you raise your hand to push some errant hair off his forehead. You let your fingers linger, slowly tracing the contours of his cheek before pulling back.

Jungkook reaches out in his sleep, searching for your touch.

Stay, ” he murmurs, half asleep.

You’re completely undone by that singular word, defenseless against his sleepy request. It takes you a few minutes before you finally decide to climb in next to him, Jungkook unconsciously adjusting to fit himself around you. 

You should’ve felt too keyed up to sleep, being so close to Jungkook. But the combined effects of the alcohol and the soporific effect of your soulmate’s energy around you helps you relax. And it only takes another minute before you too can relax enough to let go, and fall asleep, wrapped up in your soulmate’s arms.

 

When you wake in the morning, Jungkook is already gone, presumably to workout. So you head out to the kitchen in search of breakfast. The past few mornings, there’s been food sitting out on the kitchen island with your name on it and you assumed Jin had been getting up to make breakfast for you, perhaps as a way of saying sorry for the incident on set.

You’re savoring the simple fruit parfait and fried egg over rice when Jin shuffles into the kitchen, looking very sleep rumpled.

Good morning, ” you call out. He nods in acknowledgement. “ Hey, I wanted to say thank you for all the breakfasts you’ve been making me this week. I really appreciate it, ” you continue.

Hmm? Oh, I haven’t been making breakfast. That sounds like something Yoongi might do, though, ” he suggests.

As if summoned by his name, Yoongi comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. 

Are you my breakfast fairy? ” you ask Yoongi with a grin. He stares back at you in confusion.

Huh? ” he asks. 

You gesture at your breakfast. “ The past few mornings, someone has been leaving breakfast out for me, I assumed it was Jin, but he said it was you, ” you say.

It isn’t me either, ” Yoongi shrugs and walks back to his room with his cup of coffee.

You’re completely puzzled. If it wasn’t one of the two main chefs in the group, then who was it? Admittedly, the meals haven’t been very elaborate, but they’ve been tasty and comforting. You wonder for a moment if it might have been Namjoon, since he’s been so thoughtful. You decide to ask the others later and find out who your secret chef is.

 

You head to work, having put a little extra effort into your appearance for your date today. Every few minutes, you’re checking the clock, only to be disappointed more time hasn’t passed. It makes the day drag on. But late in the afternoon, you feel that familiar tug a few seconds before hearing a knock on your door. 

In your excitement, you practically fall into the door before yanking it open. Jungkook is standing there with hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Ready? ” he asks brightly, looking like the excited bunny he is.

Sure, let me just save this file and we can go.

You shut down your computer and sling your bag over your shoulder, following Jungkook down to the parking garage. A sleek town car is waiting for you there, the driver standing next to the car, ready to open the door. 

Jungkook hops forward to grab the handle before the driver can, though, opening the car for you. Sinking into the seat, you smile at his chivalrous gesture. Once Jungkook has settled into the car, you turn towards him.

So, where’re we headed today? ” you ask.

Shopping, ” he says, evading you.

Shopping where? ” you push. 

I’ve got some connections, ” Jungkook says, his cryptic grin driving you a little crazy. 

You’re not going to share what those connections might be, are you? ” you wheedle.

He simply shakes his head, grin turning into a full bunny smile. You shake your head, laughing at his playfulness.

Can I at least get a hint as to how far away we’re going? We’re not going to Busan or something, right?” you tease.

No, definitely not that far, ” he chuckles. “ It’s in Gangnam.

Ooh, fancy. It’ll probably be a short shopping trip, though. I don’t think I can afford very much in Gangnam.

Oh, ” he says, confusion crossing his face. “ Don’t worry about it. It was my idea, after all, ” he says.

No, I can pay for it. But, maybe we hit up an H&M afterwards? ” you suggest, thinking about how much you have in your bank account at the moment.

Brows furrowing, Jungkook falls into silence, not quite sure what to do. It only takes a few more minutes before the car is pulling into a valet station. Jungkook hands you a mask and sunglasses, before donning his own familiar bucket hat and mask combo. 

Hopping out of the car, he holds the door for you and escorts you inside a very nondescript looking building. 

The entrance is up a set of stairs, opening into an airy loft, filled with bolts of fabric, tables and mannequins. There are a few people working on a few pieces that can only be described as art in clothing form. Beautiful dresses, suits, and accessories are strewn through the space, sunshine pouring in from large windows lining the walls. 

Jungkook-ah! Welcome! It’s been too long! ” a beautiful woman says, walking towards you. The familiarity of her speech towards Jungkook makes you a little wary. She looks familiar and you wonder if she’s a celebrity of some kind. 

Thank you for letting us come today. I wanted to get Noona some things for our trip to Jeju, ” Jungkook says, giving the woman a hug. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a small spike of jealousy at the casual contact.

So, is this her? Your soulmate?! ” she says, looking at you with barely concealed excitement. 

Oh, yes! Jiwon, this is Y/N. Noona, this is Jiwon, my cousin, ” he says, making introductions.

You blink and then you see it. The same nose, same smile, same doe eyes. The resemblance is so similar, they could’ve been siblings. You instantly feel silly over your moment of jealousy and rush to shake her hand with a short bow. 

It’s nice to meet you Jiwon! Kook didn’t exactly tell me what we were doing today, so forgive my ignorance. Are you a designer? ” you ask.

“That sounds like Jungkook. Yes, I’m a designer. Nothing you’ve probably ever heard of, but I really love what I do ,” she says, bubbling with friendliness.

She walks you over to a corner that’s filled with comfy furniture, and racks of finished clothes and accessories. Your eyes grow wide as you take in the beautiful colors and soft neutrals. And then an awful thought strikes you, as awful thoughts always do. None of these beautiful clothes are going to fit you. 

You smile and nod as Jiwon shows you lots of options, asking what kinds of styles you prefer. You try skirting her questions, not wanting to say outright that while you want everything on the racks, you’re certain none of it would fit you. Compliments for her talent are pouring from your mouth with every new piece she shows you, and your heart sinks a little more as she continues to rifle through the racks. 

Your eyes land on a particularly beautiful sundress. It looks simple at first glance, but when you get closer, you can see all the intricate detail that’s been put into it. The baby blue linen is buttery soft, the tightly woven fabric draping so beautifully, it could’ve been silk. It’s an A-line fit and flare midi dress, with buttons down the front. 

Pintuck details near the line of buttons hide small crystals that have been nestled into the pleats. And that doesn’t even begin to cover the white flowers that have been embroidered across the sweetheart neckline, with matching motifs banding the cap the sleeves. 

The dress is stunning and you desperately wish this dress could fit you. And your heart aches a bit, knowing that it won’t.

You like? ” Jiwon says, sidling up to you.

It’s so beautiful, ” you murmur. 

Try it on, then! ” she encourages. Jungkook sees the dress, his discerning eye approving.

I don’t know… ” you hesitate.

It’ll look amazing on you! And maybe paired with this hat and bag… ” she says trailing off, brainstorming.

But when she moves to start pulling things for you, you finally have to stop her. 

These are all so beautiful, but I don’t think any of it will fit me, ” you say, cheeks heating in embarrassment. You recall the difficulties you had finding clothes to fit you before and with a pang, realize that this beautiful gesture that Jungkook has arranged for you is not going to work.

It’s almost like Jiwon and Jungkook finally look at you. All of you. Including the dump truck that you drive on the daily. 

Oh… ” Jiwon says. Jungkook looks like someone’s just canceled Christmas. “ Well, I’m sure there’s something here that could fit you. Plus, I’m a designer. I can always make it work for you!” she continues, trying to put a positive spin on the situation.

We leave for Jeju tomorrow, noona, ” Jungkook says, addressing his cousin.

Ah, ” she says, finally looking like she’s also had her Christmas canceled.

Your designs are beautiful, though! I wish I could wear them! ” you tell her, trying to cheer her up.

Well, let me take some measurements and I’ll see if I can find something to send over later, ” she says, pulling out a measuring tape and stretching it around your body.

After she’s taken down your measurements, she’s called away on a small emergency and you and Jungkook bid her goodbye

I’m sorry, ” Jungkook says simply while you’re walking back in the car.

It’s ok. I had a hard time finding things to fit me when I first got here and I was trying to replace my suit, ” you say.

That was a nice suit. I’m sorry I ruined it, ” he says, looking even more sullen. 

Ehn, It’s ok. It’s what I get for wearing a white suit, ” you say, trying to soothe him.

He looks so sad, that you start racking your brain on how to cheer him up. And then an idea hits you. You look down at your feet and are thankful you both wore socks today.

You search for a nearby bowling alley and find one that is close to the dorm. When you reach the car, you excuse yourself, telling Jungkook you need to make a phone call.

The first one you make is to Namjoon. You want to ask if there was any protocol you needed to follow going out in public, and if it would be possible to arrange a private alley. Namjoon says you could either rent out the entire space for a while, or try to keep a mask on and keep a low profile. You ask if he’ll let the managers know what you’re planning, just in case they need to do some damage control later and he says he’ll take care of it.

Your next call is to the bowling alley. Because it’s in Gangnam, they said they had a few private lanes that you could rent out. You book it and tell them you’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

So, having taken care of the logistics, you head back to the car, Jungkook leaning against the side, looking fresh off a photoshoot set. Maybe it’s because he’s spent most of his formative years in front of a camera, but he seems to always be one hundred percent photo-ready. It isn’t fair, you think. He’s just so damn beautiful. 

You hurry to give the driver the address, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow. He sees that you’re up to something, but isn’t willing to ask about it yet. His willingness to play along makes you even more excited, as you both get into the car.

It isn’t readily apparent where you’re going, and when the car stops in the parking deck of a building with a hundred different signs on it, he finally caves.

What’s going on? Where are we? ” he asks, slightly amused.

You’ll see. I’ve got ‘connections’, ” you tease.

Touché, ” he says. It pulls a short, excited giggle from Jungkook.

You head towards the basement of the building and when he finally sees the sign for the bowling alley, he turns to you, shock and excitement warring for position on his face. You let out a tinkling laugh, excited to have surprised him.

How did you find this place? ” he asks in disbelief.

Umm, Naver? ” you say, laughing again. “ So, are you ready to see how bad I am at this? Because I don’t think you are.

You’re laughing as a staff member leads you to your private lane.

You can’t be that bad! ” he laughs, following along behind.

Oh, just you wait. I am terrible. But I have fun, so that’s all that matters, ” you say, smiling. His eyes are twinkling with delight, nose scrunched and teeth of full display.

Once the staff member leaves, you go about selecting your bowling ball and change your shoes. There’s something oddly cute about how serious Jungkook is becoming, now that you’re setting up the profiles on the lane computer. He simply puts ‘JK’ as his name and turns to ask what you’d like.

You reach over his shoulder to type in the letters, leaning in slightly closer than is probably necessary. But the opportunity presented itself and you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Your fingers peck out the name ‘Wonder Woman’ and Jungkook looks at you in askance. 

What? Why would I choose my boring name? I’m going to channel my inner Wonder Woman in hopes of breaking fifty today, ” you say in mock solemnity.

Jungkook, seemingly tickled by the idea, quickly changes his to ‘Iron Man’. And with that, you start the game.

Jungkook is a truly magnificent bowler. He racks up strike after strike, spare after spare. All the while, looking for intents and purposes, like a professional. His body lengthens in a beautiful line every time he throws the ball down the lane, and you can’t help but watch in appreciation of his form. 

You’re just sorry he has to look at you, waddling up to the line and heaving the ball as hard as you can, only to have it end up in the gutter nine times out of ten. You eventually decide to pull a Yoongi and switch to a granny style throw. At least now, it’s making it to the pins at least half the time. 

Do you want me to help you? ” he asks sometime in the middle of your second game.

I think I may be beyond help, ” you laugh. “ But you’re welcome to try!

Jungkook laughs and walks up to the line with you this time. He demonstrates next to you, in slow detail, how to line up and throw the ball. But you’re just not getting it. He demonstrates a few more times before going to fetch a lighter ball for you.

The lighter ball helps, but you’re still not making it go straight. Exasperated, Jungkook comes up behind you and guides your motions, helping you to throw the ball with a little more power and speed.

It takes everything you have not to drop the ball on your foot with how close his body is to yours, the long contours of his body snug against your back, moving with you. Guiding your throw and causing all the nerve endings in your body to light up brighter than the Griswold’s house in National Lampoon’s Christmas.

Jungkook either doesn’t notice, being too focused on his role as teacher, or doesn’t care. Either way, you’re not complaining. His proximity is electrifying, causing the butterflies in your stomach to melt into liquid heat running through your veins.

And when he helps you finally throw a strike, you quickly spin around, throwing your arms around Jungkook in excitement. This seems to finally get through to him, as you feel his body stiffen beneath yours. In the heat of the moment, you’d forgotten to maintain the polite distance you’ve curated for him. 

You pause and look at him, eyes meeting. Your faces are so close and your smile freezes into place.  It takes your brain a full 3 seconds to process the scene. But when it does finally settle in that you’ve literally thrown yourself at Jungkook, it makes you jump back, releasing your arms and pulling away. 

Was that your imagination, or was that regret on his face for a brief second?

Sorry, ” you apologize, feeling your cheeks flood red.

It’s ok. Uh, congratulations, though! ” he says, trying to cover his awkwardness.

Well, I wish I could take credit for it, but we both know it was all you, ” you fluster.

After that strike, you both seem hyper aware of each other and give each other an even wider than usual berth. The rest of the second game is played in relative quietness, both of you not sure how to deal with awkwardness. 

You head back to the dorm soon after, picking up some food on the way. Back at the dorm, you sit down on the couch with your food and Jungkook turns on the TV. The dorm had been relatively quiet when you came home, so you assumed the guys were either out, or making themselves scarce.

On the one hand you’re grateful for the space while you and Jungkook are still navigating the early stages of whatever it is that’s between the two of you. You’re still so uncertain about where you stand with Jungkook. You know you feel attraction beyond the pull of the soulmate bond, but you’re not certain if that extends to him as well.

Sometimes you think it does, but sometimes it feels like he treats you like you’re one of the guys and nothing more. But the fact that he initiated this “date” gives you a flicker of hope that maybe there’s some butterflies on his side as well, even if he’s maintained a courteous distance most of the day. 

You’re sitting side by side on the couch, sitting somewhat stiffly, hyper aware of Jungkook. The faint tingle of the soul energy passing in the space between you making your nerves on edge. You are so distracted by his presence, you have no idea what you’re watching. Only that you want to reach out and take his hand. Not just to feel the flow of energy between you, but because you want it to mean something more.

But you’re too chicken to actually reach out to touch. His hand rests on his knee, fingers curled into a loose fist, so close, but might as well be miles away since you can’t work up the nerve to touch him. 

What you really want is for him to reach out, to hold your hand, to quiet the doubt in your mind that he doesn’t feel the same way about you. But his hand stays balled on his knee. Taunting you. Driving you crazy with its nearness. 

Why won’t he just make the first move?!

The movie or show or whatever it was that you were supposed to be watching must’ve ended because Jungkook jumps up and stretches.

What did you think of the show? ” he grunts, turning his torso towards you in a stretch, arms raised over his head. You catch a peek of skin at his waist and your mind turns to mush.

What? Oh, um, it was… nice, ” you say, scrambling for a response.

Nice? Zombies are nice? ” he asks incredulously.

You mentally facepalm before rushing to explain. “ I meant the story, you know? The plot was nice. ” 

Nice recovery, you idiot , you think sarcastically.

Jungkook simply hmms and nods, before turning to you with a serious expression. 

I’m sorry the shopping was a bust. I thought it would be nice, but in the end you didn’t get anything you needed for the trip, ” he says, sounding sad. “ Nothing went right, ” he said, more to himself.

Hey, I had a great time! ” you soothe. “ Didn’t you? ” you add, less certain. Maybe he didn’t like your idea after all. Maybe your hugging at the bowling alley made him really uncomfortable, ruining an otherwise fun evening for him.

 “ What? Of course! I did have fun today, I promise! ” Jungkook rushes to answer. His hands pop up between you, waving in frantic dismissal.

“Good. I’m glad. Thank you for teaching me how to bowl, ” you smile, remembering the feeling of his body moving behind yours. 

A grin starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. God, that grin could start a thousand fires and raze the entire country , you think. His eyes, which have seemed to be avoiding yours all evening, are finally focused on you. They linger on you, making heat rise from your belly, stirring up the butterflies you’re becoming all too familiar with. 

The air between you is charged and heavy with potential, only seeming to need the smallest nudge to begin a chain reaction. And your mind is scrambling, short circuiting from the continuous eye contact. Jungkook’s frame crowds your vision, and with a voice so low, you can barely hear it, he says, “ You’re welcome.

His low gravelly voice is sexy as hell. Your head is spinning, knees threatening to give out at any minute. And then, Jungkook leans in.  His eyes flick down to your lips, and you’re silently cheering, your body knowing what’s coming next before your mind can fully process it. Your own eyes drop to his lips, looking plump and entirely too kissable. Your lips part in anticipation.

But something stops him, making him pause and his gaze shutter. He pulls back and it’s like the lights have suddenly come back on, the room seeming too bright and too open for what  had almost happened.

We should finish packing and head to bed, ” he says softly, drawing even farther away from you. He jams his hands firmly in his pockets, shifting his feet as he waits for you and your stalled brain to catch up. Your feet and brain finally lurch back into motion and you find yourself drifting along beside him, headed for your room. 

The rest of your evening passes in a hazy blur. You’re not even sure what all you’ve thrown into your suitcase, you’re so distracted by the whiplash of the evening. But at least it’s something packed, you tell yourself. You set your suitcase by the door next to Jungkook’s for the staff to take in the morning. 

You aren’t sure which bed you should be heading to. Just because he invited you to share his bed last night, doesn’t mean you have blanket permission from now on. You hesitate in the space between the two beds, unsure of which direction to go.

Jungkook makes the decision easy when he climbs into bed and calls goodnight to you before turning over.

So, with disappointment heavy in your gut, you climb into your own bed and say, “ Goodnight.

Notes:

First, Jiwon is completely fictional. I don't know if JK has any cousins or not, let alone one who's a fashion designer, but since this is an AU, I get to make the rules and the rules had Jiwon in it. Haha!

Second, post concert depression anyone? Holy crap that was an amazing experience. One I will treasure for the rest of my life! And can we get a Praise Namjesus for the member's personal instagram accounts?! I am so excited! Joon is giving us some peak boyfriend vibes already and I'm loving it!

And thirdly, I'm sorry the update has been so slow!! I had some serious writer's block on this chapter. I literally wrote and rewrote this chapter 4 times. It was such a struggle. But I think I finally landed on the right path. I did the bare minimum of editing on this, so I apologize for the many errors that are bound to have slipped through. I was just so excited to get this out to you! So let me know what you think!

Thank you again for reading this! I really appreciate all the kudos and comments!

Chapter 13

Summary:

In which there's a new point of view, an awkward situation, and a flight to Jeju.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean

Also, I hit over 100 kudos recently and may or may not have cried. Thank you to every single one of you who've liked this drivel of mine.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Namjoon’s POV

 

Namjoon looks at his watch for probably the 70th time that morning. They needed to be on the road to the airport soon and the notoriously sleepy maknae and his soulmate still haven’t woken up. If he didn’t do something soon, they’d miss their flight. 

Someone’s got to wake them up! Jin? Hobi? ” Namjoon pleads.

Absolutely not! ” Jin protests. Hobi just shakes his head, hands out in front of him.

Guys, come on! ” Namjoon continues to ask as the members walk around to gather their last minute items. 

Alright! Fine! Gawi bawi bo! Everyone, let’s go!” Namjoon roars. He clenches his jaw, grinding his teeth. Why does no one seem to listen to him today?

All the boys gather round. Yoongi is the first to win and does a little wiggle happy dance off to the corner, hanging around to watch who would be saddled with the unenviable task of waking Jungkook up. Namjoon starts to sweat when each of the other members win their games, and it comes down to him and Taehyung.

Namjoon really did not want to have to walk in on Jungkook and Y/N. The thought of seeing Noona twisted up in Jungkook’s arms, asleep, was definitely not high on his list of happy thoughts. The minute he’d seen her on the airplane weeks ago, he’d been struck by her beautiful eyes. And it didn’t hurt that the white suit she wore clung to her in all the right places.

He’d wanted to talk to her, but being the awkward giant he was, he didn’t know how to start up a conversation with a random stranger on an airplane. And when Jungkook had knocked that cup of coffee onto her, he’d watch in horror as she was drenched. 

But part of him felt like he had been lucky, like it was fate, because now he’d definitely have a reason to talk to her. Maybe even get her number?

But he knew the golden maknae well enough now to know something was different as soon as he’d touched her. His heart had plummeted as the dots connected in his brain.

It was fate. It just wasn’t his .

And when they couldn’t find her Jungkook finally admitted to the connection, he’d lost his mind with worry. He was worried for Jungkook, of course and worried what it might mean for the band. But mostly, he was worried he’d never see Noona again. 

The thought had crossed his mind several times that it was possible they were platonic mates. But seeing how moon eyed Jungkook was over Noona, he thought that possibility less and less likely as the days wore on. 

But a small part of him held out hope. Hope that blossomed after the commercial filming incident. He’d felt so much rage towards the director that it took everything in him not to have him blacklisted. He threatened as much when he demanded the director go and apologize to Noona. 

He just didn’t seem to be able to help himself where she was concerned. He felt drawn to her and he couldn’t figure out why. He felt like he should stay near her at all times and that compulsion drove him mad. Drove him mad because he had to watch her moon over Jungkook, be hurt by Jungkook, and follow him around like a lost puppy. 

But worst of all, almost watch them kiss. Twice, now. The first time had been when he’d interrupted them on the bus. The second time, however, was just the night before when he’d walked out to the kitchen to get a drink. He’d made eye contact wit h Jungkook, just as the maknae leaned in to kiss her.

The jealousy must’ve been plain on his face, despite his best efforts. Because Jungkook had pulled back and hurried them both to their room, Namjoon having retreated into one of the offices before they passed. 

He felt horrible that he’d slipped and shown his hand. He would never knowingly do anything to compromise a soulmate bond. And he genuinely only wanted the best for Jungkook. But he also knew what he felt for Y/N. And the war over those two opposing desires was tearing him up inside.

Taehyung looks to the sky just before the last round. He throws scissors. 

And Namjoon’s heart sinks, looking down at his flat hand.

Taehyung leaps around in excitement, teasing Namjoon. The rest of the guys shove Namjoon towards Jungkook’s door, following in his wake.

Their laughter surrounds Namjoon as he knocks on the door, unable to join in their laughter. No answer. He knocks again, louder. Still, no answer.

So Namjoon takes a deep breath and puts his hand on the doorknob. The guys all huddle behind him, jockeying to watch their leader try to wake up their maknae. Namjoon makes a last minute decision to cover his eyes as he pushes open the door.

Jungkook, Noona. You gotta get up! We have to leave soon! ” Namjoon yells, a bit too loudly, hoping by the time he dropped his hands, they might have had time to untangle themselves.

When he hears Noona’s confused grumble, he lowers his hand, not quite ready to see them laying together. But she was in her own bed. Not with Jungkook! His heart makes a little leap as he looks at her, struggling to wake up. He moves close to her bed and drops down so his face is level with hers.

Noona, you’ve gotta get up. We’re going to be late. Have you packed everything?” Namjoon said, keeping his voice low.

Her stunning eyes finally seemed to be able to focus now, pinning Namjoon with half lidded eyes. She looked so beautiful to him, it was almost painful. 

“Wha…?” she mumbles.

We’re going to be late. Time to get up, ” he says, a little more firmly this time. “ Please.

This seemed to jerk her awake. Her eyes fly open and she stands up quickly, trying to rub the sleep from her face. 

What time is it? ” she squeaks, her voice warbly with sleep. 

It’s nine, ” Jimin says from the doorway. Namjoon looks over at the group still gathered there, who don’t look as jovial now they see Noona’s panic. Namjoon steps into action.

Jimin, Taehyung, go make sure everyone else’s luggage is by the door for the staff. Hoseok, go make coffee. Jin and Yoongi, you’re on Jungkook duty. Get him up and ready to go, ” Namjoon orders, a general commanding his troops.

The guys don’t question the authority in his voice, just moving to their assigned tasks with speed. Namjoon turns back to Noona. 

What can I help with? ” he asks gently.

I packed almost everything last night. I just need to get my toiletries and my recording equipment packed.

Don’t worry about the recording stuff. I’ll do it. Just tell me what needs to go and I’ll make sure it’s safely packed up.

Thank you, Namjoon. Here’s what I need,” she says, rattling off a list of things. She sends Namjoon a look of true gratitude and he nearly bursts from pride. He gives her a last, reassuring smile before heading out to pack up her gear. 

 

Jungkook POV

 

His soulmate stands across the room from him, bending over at the waist to strap on her shoes. She looks so beautiful, standing there. He can’t help but admire her perfectly round ass, openly staring at the curves pointed straight at him.

She notices his gaze and straightens slowly, hooded eyes never leaving his. Jungkook gulps as she strides over to him. Something is different, but he can’t quite place the change. Like she’s more confident somehow, more bold. 

Her sultry gaze creates a fire within his belly and he doesn’t know what to do. His mind grasps at options, dismissing each one as either too forward or too prudish.

She stops, inches from his, her chest a whisper away from his. His eyes drop down to her chest where the promise of soft, pliant weight teases him beneath the open collar of her button down shirt. Oh God, I shouldn't look at her chest! Look somewhere else! Anywhere else!

He wrenches his eyes away from her breasts and lands on her flushed face. She looks up at him through her eyelashes. He’s not sure this is much better.

Jungkook stands, motionless, indecision paralyzing him. He wants to touch, to hold. But he also needs for her to give him the green light.

Kiss me, Jungkook, ” his soulmate says finally, leaning into him.

He hesitates for a moment before he hears her whispered whimper of, " Please. "

That whimper is Jungkook's undoing.

Gladly, ” he murmurs, rushing to gather her in his arms and lean his mouth to hers. 

A rush of desire an sensation floods Jungkook’s body, making him pull her in tighter. She gasps, opening her lips. He pounces, leveraging the opportunity to slip into her mouth, tasting her, exploring the curves of her lips with his tongue. She tastes even better than he imagined.

Jungkook lifts his hands to weave into her hair, holding her head to him, making sure she can’t pull away... Can’t run away. He plunges deeper, more boldly into her, the kiss becoming desperate and frantic.

He pulls away from her sweet mouth to trail kisses along her jaw, sucking and nipping at the skin of her neck as he buries his face into her, inhaling the aroma of her shampoo, the scent of her skin. 

God, he could kiss her forever and it would never be enough.

She gasps and moans, especially when he sucks at the juncture of neck and shoulder, a purple mark already starting to bloom. I’ll have to remember that spot for later , he thinks as he kisses his way across her throat.

She throws her head back as he reaches the other side, making all the right noises. Noises that go straight to his cock, blood rushing to bring him to full attention. He wants her so badly, it hurts. All he wants is to kiss and claim, to hold her tight underneath him as he makes her his in every way he knows how.

Jungkook, ” she breathes as he’s working back towards the heaven that is her lips.

Hmm? ” he moans.

You have to get up, ” she murmurs.

What? ” He pulls back, confused.

Get up already! We’re going to be late! ” she says, her voice morphing into Yoongi-hyung's.

 

Jungkook’s eyes fly open, the rapturous dream having turned quickly into a nightmare. Familiar, but much less desirable faces stare back at him.

" We've only got a few more minutes until the cars arrive. Get your ass in gear! " Yoongi continues. Jin was shaking Jungkook's shoulders, even though he was awake.

" Hyung!! I'm awake! " Jungkook growls.

" Yah, who do you think raised you?! I know you! You're not actually awake until your feet hit the floor, " Jin laughs, taking full advantage of the moment to tease Jungkook.

Jin was right, however. Jungkook had been known to fall back to sleep the moment someone left him. So he swings his legs off his bed and stands up, pushing Jin's shoulders away from him.

" I'M UP! OK?! " he growls at the elder.

Jungkook stretches long and loudly before running to the kitchen to grab an apple to tuck into his backpack. He runs into Namjoon on his way back, who is busy packing Noona's recording gear into padded travel cases.

" What are you doing, Hyung? " Jungkook asks warily. His eyes narrow at his leader, a prickle of uneasiness blooming in him.

Jungkook's mind flashes back to the previous night. He'd finally thought he would get to kiss his soulmate. Something he'd literally been dreaming about. But as he'd leaned in, movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention.

It was Namjoon. His leader, looking like he had been sucker punched in the gut. It took Namjoon a moment to realize that Jungkook saw him, but when he did, his face went neutral. Like he'd seen so many times in interviews when a question rubbed him the wrong way.

He had suspected Rapmon had feelings for Noona, but he thought that was ridiculous. How could he fall for another man's soulmate? The idea seemed ludicrous.

But there he was, looking like a lovesick puppy. A puppy that Jungkook had just kicked.

It made his belly twist and sour. On the one hand, he hated that someone else had eyes for his soulmate. His soulmate. She was made for him, and no one else, right?

But on the other hand, he loved Namjoon more than pretty much anyone in the whole world, save his parents. Hell, he'd joined BTS because of him. And he looked up to and admired so much about his leader. How much Joon took on for him and the group. He'd always wanted to help him, to be able to give him whatever he wanted, just to make him happy.

And seeing him gutted over Noona, made Jungkook freeze. He couldn't hurt Namjoon-hyung like that. So he pulled back.

But seeing the hurt confusion on her face when he pulled back made him feel like the biggest jerk on the planet. She was finally opening up to him. They'd even slept in the same bed  last night!.

And it took exactly .5 seconds for him to screw it all up again.

He was so mad at himself. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized it was an impossible decision. Hurt his brother or hurt his soulmate? How could he be expected to choose?!

So he'd gone to bed that night, sullen and disappointed, but most annoyingly, alone. Especially after feeling her body pressed up against his at the bowling alley.

He'd been so disappointed when the gift he'd arranged for her blew up in his face. All he wanted was to shower her in gifts for the trip. And he somehow managed to screw that up too.

But she'd found a way to pull him from his funk. She'd surprised him with one of his favorite activities. And even though she was terrible, truly terrible, she still laughed with him and had fun.

In fact, the her being terrible part was easily the best part of the whole day. She was so endearingly sweet about trying to cheer him up, that he couldn't help but be infected by her bubbly energy. It made her so damn cute, and he just wanted to hug her and never let go.

That was until he'd realized he'd basically plastered himself to her back trying to teach her better form. He'd been so focused on trying to help her that he hadn't quite realized how close he'd gotten until the tingles he felt from their contact were practically making his teeth shake with vibrations.

She'd felt so good next to him. So soft and supple. And that ass had rubbed up against him, soft and bouncy, causing his jeans to become a bit tighter. He'd wanted to turn her around right there and kiss her, letting his hands wander over that juicy bottom, as he explored all her curves.

He wanted her, no doubt about that. But every time he felt like they were about to take the next step, the universe came and drop kicked him practically back to square one.

Maybe he was trying to force a relationship that the universe had deemed impossible. Was he trying to push his own feelings on her when in reality, fate only meant for them to be friends? His mind rebelled against the thought, refusing to validate it, but not letting it go completely, either.

But whether or not they were going to be just friends didn't stop the green haze of jealousy from blooming as Jungkook watched Namjoon do this favor for Noona.

" I offered to pack up Noona's recording stuff so she could get ready to go. Are you packed? " Namjoon said.

Jungkook felt his nostrils flare. He hated being treated like a child. He was a grown ass man and didn’t need to be babied.

" Yes. I packed everything last night. I've just got to change my clothes for the airport. "

" Well, get to it. The cars will be here in 5, " Namjoon says, dismissing Jungkook and shutting the lid on the case of gear.

Namjoon pushes past Jungkook, and he could've sworn that his hyung looked smug. It made him want to hit something. But he knew he didn't have time. So he ran back upstairs and burst into his room to change.

The small scream he heard upon entry drew his eyes towards a very startled, very naked, Noona.

Well, almost naked. She had on panties, but not her bra. Her arms wrapped around her chest, pressing against her fullness and causing her to spill over and around her arms.

She screeched something in English when Jungkook didn't immediately leave, his mind completely Jungshook.

And that finally gets him to move. He yells apologies as he fumbles for the door. He lunges out of the room and slams the door behind him.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit! Jungkook thinks to himself. More profanities march through his head as he closes his eyes, leaning against the closed door to his room. She had stood there. In practically nothing. 

And he about lost his damn mind.

The expanse of skin on display had short circuited his ability to make rational decisions. All he wanted to do was close the distance between them and touch her, To pull her close to him, just like in his dream. And he had almost lifted his foot to rush to her, when she screamed at him, startling him back into reality. Jungkook kicked himself for his lack of restraint.

Couldn't he keep it in his pants for just a minute?! Between last night's almost kiss and that damn dream, though, his libido was screaming at him to do something about his growing need. 

He slammed his head back onto the door, trying to physically dislodge the image from his mind. But he couldn’t. All he could see was her arms, hugging her breasts, the pattern on the cute cotton underwear she wore. And miles and miles of bare skin, taunting him, begging to be caressed and kissed.

When Jungkook had finally regained some mastery of himself, he pushed away from the door and decided airport fashion could hang itself. He’d slept in the equivalent of gym clothes last night and that would have to be good enough for today. He grabbed his backpack from next to the door and rushed outside to wait for the cars, pushing through a very confused huddle of his brothers next to the door.

 

Your POV

 

Breathe. Just, breathe.

You had to remind yourself to keep drawing in breath because the embarrassment of what just happened made you want to shrivel up and wither away, dissolving into a cloud of dust to be scattered tot he four corners of the planet. Did he see everything? You don’t think so. He had looked pretty focused on something else when he barged into the room, giving you enough time to cover your chest, at least.

But he’d seen everything else. You could have kicked yourself for not picking out the cute underwear for today. Choosing instead to go with the blue cotton pair with little tiny smiling tangerines on them. Why? Why did you have these underwear if they were going to embarrass you like this?! The betrayal you feel towards your underwear is completely irrational, but you feel like the tangerines are no longer smiling at you. They’re smirking.

You throw on the rest of your clothes and tuck your last minute items from the bedroom into your carry on. When you go to unplug your charger from the wall, you notice that Jungkook has left his phone behind on the nightstand. And when you hear the front door slam, you make the not too crazy leap to assume he’s already left the dorm.

You grab his phone and the charger and tuck it into your bag, hoping that he won’t be mad at you for touching his things. Maybe he intended to leave it, you think to yourself. But you can’t imagine being abroad without your phone. So you decide it’s better to bring it and not need it, than to leave it behind.

After running into the bathroom to grab a few toiletries and ramming them into your bag, you fly down the steps to the front door, where the rest of the group, minus Jungkook, is waiting for you.

I’m sorry we overslept! I don’t know why I didn’t hear my alarm this morning! ” you cry, pulling on your shoes.

It’s ok! The cars just pulled up, actually. We’ll be heading down in a minute, ” Namjoon replies and nods to the others to leave. He pulls you aside as you make to follow the guys.

I’m really sorry, but Sejin just called and said he’s going to send someone to come pick you up in a few minutes. I wish you could drive with us, but there’ll be photographers and… ” Namjoon trails off, trying to explain why you can’t come with them. He looks miserable breaking the news to you.

The realization that the company is once again prioritizing Jungkook over you, freshly reminds you of the pecking order around here. You can understand and appreciate that revealing soulmate status amongst idols is a hot topic, say the least. But you do wish you weren’t actively being separated from Jungkook. It makes it feel like you’re doing something wrong. Like maybe there’s something wrong with you, and so the company has to hide you away, lest you tarnish the glimmering image of their lead vocalist.

You mutely nod your head and Namjoon reaches out to pat you on the shoulder, but at the last minute snatches his hand back, thinking better of it. It’s somewhat of a taboo to touch another person’s soulmate, especially when they’re not fully bonded yet. 

I really, really wish you were coming with us, ” he says, truly looking regretful. “ But at least, you’ll be on the plane with us, so that’s something.

It’s alright. You’d better get going or you’ll be late, ” you say shooing him out the door. 

The cold, quiet emptiness of the dorm looms around you, pressing in on you. The silence pushes against your ears, making the room feel both too large and suffocating, all at once. You walk to the kitchen and sit at the island, waiting for someone to come and fetch you.

It’s about 20 minutes later when a female bodyguard knocks on the door and escorts you to the airport. It’s a madhouse. You can see the sea of photographers and fans gathered around a cordoned off area in front of the terminals. All the guys stand there, dressed to the nines, their outfits ripped straight from the runways.

All of them, except for Jungkook, who stands there in a black shirt, and black shorts. The same clothes he wore to sleep in last night with the addition of a black mask and bucket hat. You glance down at your outfit, basic jean shorts and a t-shirt, and an errant thought strikes you. You’ll never belong up there with him. Even if they dressed you up in Gucci, you’d probably still look like a nobody. It’s probably another reason you weren’t allowed to travel with them, even under the guise as a staff member. 

The spiral of your thoughts darkens as you continue your mental flagellation. You slip in your ear buds after your bodyguard escorts you through a different entrance to the airport, and crank your BTS playlist as you check into your flight. And almost like the universe knew what song you needed to hear, the opening notes of Epiphany fill your ears, flooding relief into your soul and lifting your mood.

After getting through security, BTS still playing on your headphones, the small bubble of contentment bursts as you realize that you’re heading to the gate. And not to the VIP lounge like you thought. You turn to your guard.

Why are we going to the gate? ” you ask.

Because it’s where I was instructed to take you, ” she says dispassionately.

It doesn’t make sense. You should be going with the guys, right? Why would they split you up? You pull out your ticket to look at it, surely thinking it must be a mistake. And your already furrowed brow draws even closer together. There, on the screen of your phone, are the words “basic economy”. In fact, you’d be surprised if you weren’t in the very last row of the airplane. Making your seat the absolute farthest one away from your soulmate.

Any happiness you had felt listening to their music vanishes. Replaced by a fuming hatred towards the management, more specifically, towards Sejin, who you assume has coordinated this. You have half a mind to pull out your phone and yell at him, but you know it will have the same result as yelling at a brick wall. The flight is only about an hour, after all.

So you take a deep breath and sit down and pull out your phone and try to read in sn effort to calm your nerves. You reread the same paragraph about 4 times before giving up on reading. There’s nothing that will be able to fix your sour mood now, except for getting the flight behind you.

You board the plane a little while later and gaze out the window, waiting for the plane to pull back from the gate. The crackly sound of the flight attendant’s voice comes over the speakers.

We apologize for the delay. We had a few last minute passengers that needed some extra time getting settled. But the cabin door has been closed now and we’ll be pushing back shortly. Thank you for your patience.

You smirk, knowing exactly who those passengers are. You hope they enjoy their flight, because you can already feel a headache starting to press in around your temples and know that your flight will be much less comfortable.

By the time you land, your head is throbbing. It must be the altitude, or air pressure or something, because it’s never taken so little time for your headaches to start. Or maybe your body is just getting used to having Jungkook around. Either way, you are hurting, grumpy, and tired. 

You turn your phone off airplane mode and are immediately bombarded by text messages.

 

Joon: Hey, you coming?

Joon: Where are you?

Joon: I just talked with Sejin. I thought you were traveling with us. I’m so sorry

Joon: I’ll make sure you come back with us. JK can’t find his phone. He says he’s sorry too.

Joon: This is Jungkook. I’m sorry they made you fly without us. I’ll see you as soon as we land.

 

You smile as you read the messages, thinking how nice it was for Namjoon to text in English. You send Namjoon a quick text.

 

You: Ok. I’ll see you soon. Tell JK that I’ll see him soon, too.

 

As soon as you’re off the airplane, two other staff members/bodyguards meet you and lead you to the VIP lounge in the Jeju airport, where the members are all waiting. 

Noona! ” chirps Tae, the first to see you walk in. He rises from his seat to sidle up to you. He drops his voice low and whispers, “ You should’ve seen how angry Namjoon-hyung and Jungkook-ah were when they figured out you weren’t sitting with us. I would leave them alone for a bit. Namjoon-hyung is talking with the managers.

Tae shoots you a wide eyed, knowing look before returning to his seat. Your eyes scan the room, catching the nods and waves from a few others scattered around the room. Two figures are noticeably absent, though: Namjoon and Jungkook.

You catch Jin as he passes by you on his way to sit down. 

Where are Namjoon and Jungkook?

They went to the little room over there to call the managers ,” he said, pointing to a door that had a placard indicating it was a business center.

You thank him and head towards the room. First, you wanted to give Jungkook his phone. It didn’t feel quite right holding onto it for any longer than was necessary, like it was an invasion of privacy somehow. And second, you wanted to give Sejin a piece of your mind too.

You could hear raised voices as you pushed on the door, poking just your head in. Both Namjoon and Jungkook’s backs were turned to you, both men facing the phone placed on the table in front of them. The name on the screen of the phone call said “Manager-nim”.

I don’t care if she’s a liability, she’s Jungkook’s soulmate! You should’ve figured out a way for them to travel together! What if something happened and Jungkook suffered because of it?! ” Namjoon shouted. 

You’d never heard him this angry before. You’ve seen hints at the simmering anger before. The clenched jaw, the hollowing of his cheeks. But never have you heard him raise his voice. And part of you hopes you’re never on the receiving end of his ire.

“I’m sorry Namjoon-ssi, but we can’t risk her being seen with any of you. The press would be all over it! And think of how the fans will react! They’ll hate her and it’ll hurt the image of the band. Of Jungkook-ssi! ” Sejin grinds out, like he’s already had to say this many times over.

Namjoon inhaled to yell again, but Jungkook placed a hand on Namjoon’s arm to stop him.

I’ve got this hyung, ” he says softly before continuing. “ Manager-nim, you can’t keep my soulmate from me. If I don’t have her near me, my performance suffers, which hurts the group. And I don’t want to have to worry about whether or not I’m going to suddenly collapse from one of her panic attacks on stage. The only way I can see of preventing that is to keep her close. How do you suppose keeping her away from me is going to help our bond settle? I won’t be able to spend any amount of time away from her soon if our bonds don’t settle! I haven’t even noticed our soul marks yet, for fucks sake! ” Jungkook says, his volume steadily increasing.

The confession hits you like a slap to the face. He must think I’m such a burden, you think. The only real desire he has for you is one of convenience. You’re his soulmate and the only reason he wants you around is not because he has any sort of romantic feelings for you. It is to prevent him from going deaf. He must only have been trying to kiss you those times to try to get the bond to settle into place. All so that he can get away from you. 

You think about how much he’s already suffered because of you. How much you’ve put him through with your panic attacks. He must really hate you for it. And you honestly can’t fault him for it. You’d want to get as far away from your emotional circus from hell too.

You can’t help your sharp intake of breath, having unconsciously held your breath through Jungkook’s declarations. Both sets of eyes turn at the sound, fixing on your face in the doorway. And both face’s expressions freeze in surprise.

I just wanted to give Jungkook-ssi his phone, ” you say quietly, taking care to formally address him, and push the door fully open. You take two steps towards Jungkook and set the phone on the table in front of him, both of the boys mute with shock. You quickly turn to escape the small room. 

Your ears barely register the whispered, “Shit,” as you slip out of sight.

Notes:

Oh boy. What a ride. There was a little bit of angst, some pining, a wee bit of spice, and another helping of angst. I promise that there is some fluff coming... Eventually. Haha!

This was a long one. I almost cut it off after Jungkook's POV, but decided to get us all to Jeju this chapter. There's some things that need to happen so some other things can happen.

And what about that Namjoon POV?! Poor Namjoon. Doesn't he realize this is a JK fanfic? He literally forced his way in, only to land second lead status. I didn't have him featuring very much in the story originally. He just kind of wormed his way in. But don't worry. I've got plans for everyone. Tee hee hee...

Thank you again for reading. I don't think I can say it enough. I truly do appreciate every single one of you! I love reading your comments and some of you are so good at predicting things, it's kind of scary.

Hope you're all doing well heading into the holiday season. It's my birthday this weekend, so I was thinking of sharing a fanfic I wrote for a friend of mine a while back. She *loves* Stray Kids, so if you're a Hyunjin stan, you're in for a treat. <3

Chapter 14

Summary:

In which you get coffee and take a taxi ride.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. If it's not, then it's in English and intentional.

 

Also, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas my beautiful readers!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You can feel the hot tears tracking down your cheeks as you speed walk through the VIP lounge. If the guys or staff members notice your desperate bid for freedom, they either don't comment or try to stop you. 

You grab your suitcase on the way out and make a break for the terminal. If you can make it outside of the lounge, you know Jungkook can’t follow you, giving you the space you need to process.

You feel so stupid for thinking you could ever have meant anything more to him than how you drain him. Who would want to be around someone that could possibly drop you like a stone just because they had a bad day? Certainly not someone who’s daily life is spent in the public eye.

So of course he wanted the bond to settle. That way he could potentially spend more time away from you. Something he apparently wanted very much. You kick yourself for ever dreaming that one of the world’s most desirable men could ever want you. 

You pass by the front desk of the lounge. You’re almost there. Almost out! The front desk attendant rises with concern on her face as you pass her, your hand reaching for the door handle separating you from the busy main terminal. But her eyes dart over your shoulder where you hear a commotion happening.

Let me GO! ” you hear Jungkook growl. 

You turn to look over your shoulder to see Namjoon and Jin holding the struggling maknae back. He’s putting up a good fight, but the others are joining in, restraining his efforts.

Noona, wait! Please! Let me explain! ” he pleads, seeing your eyes on him. 

The pure desperation on his face makes you pause, but the sight of him hurts too much. Your eyes drop to the floor as you push the door fully open and slip into the busy terminal.

Tears stream down your face. You try to keep your head down as you weave through the crowd, aiming to blend in with the mass of people around you. You have to get out of the airport and into the fresh air to think.

You have the information for the hotel they’re staying at already in the information email Sejin sent to you earlier, detailing the itinerary of the trip. So you shoot Namjoon a quick text, informing him that you’ll make your own way to the hotel later, but for now, you’re going to take some time to yourself. 

You turn your phone to airplane mode. There’s no way you want to deal with the calls or texts you’ll most likely receive from Sejin or from any of the guys. Plus, they were going straight to a press conference and then to dance rehearsals anyway. They’d be so busy, they’d never miss you. You just need some space to deal with the hole that’s formed in your chest. 

Once out of the airport, you grab a taxi and ask the driver to take you to the beach nearest your hotel. You sit back as the countryside passes by, watching the clouds float in the sky. You try your best not to think about what just happened, but it becomes a study in futility.

I won’t be able to spend any amount of time away from her soon if our bonds don’t settle!

His words replay on a loop in your head. The thing he wants most is to be away from you. Whether it’s for himself or for the sake of the band, it doesn't matter. All you know that this rejection stings. Just like all the other setbacks you’ve had with him.

It feels like this was the universe’s way of telling you to finally let go of any hope of something more with Jungkook. It seems like all you do is hurt each other. Maybe you should just accept that you’ll forever be in the friendzone.

You’ll just be friends. Yeah. You could do that. You could be around Jungkook all the time and not constantly think about his body or lips or how it might feel to have him be yours in every way, right?

You’re pulled from the haze of your thoughts when the driver announces the price of the fare. You pull out some cash and hand it over the seat. Grabbing your suitcase from the trunk, you stretch as the taxi pulls away.

 

The little town you’ve landed in is charming and fairly bustling with the amount of tourists swarming the streets. It’s mid afternoon and you aren’t quite ready to go to the hotel. You look around, contemplating your options. Your eyes land on a cute beachside coffee shop and you think about your disturbing lack of coffee today. Aiming to rectify that deficiency, you head into the shop and find a small, low armchair by the window overlooking the beach and park yourself.

The coffee there is good and sweet. The perfect distraction from your current mental disarray. Ice clinks in the glass as you sip your latte, adding it’s tinkling notes to the symphony of sounds you hear. Waves, seagulls, the shriek of a child playing in the water… You let it all wash over you, attempting to let the sound rush in and steal your frazzled mind away with it, much like the waves rush and retreat on the beach.

You’ve always loved coming to the beach. It’s been a place of healing, a place of thinking and pondering. There’s something magical about the salty, sweet sea air that seems to be able to soothe any hurts, to calm your frantic mind, helping you to process everything, no matter what. You loved heading to the beach in Santa Monica early in the morning, before it was crowded with people. Just to dig your toes in the sand and let the shushing sound of the waves clear your head.

You breathe deep, allowing the medicinal air to fill your lungs. And exhale all of your worries, all your stress, into the ether… 

The piece of peace envelops you and you find the chaos in your mind calmed.

Ok, so you probably overreacted… Just a wee bit.

You bury your face in your hands as you think about how childish you’re being. You’re a grown ass woman and acting like an idiotic lovesick teenager. You groan, leaning back into the wide, low armchair. Your head flops back over the back and you look up to the ceiling. 

It’s then that you notice the writing there. You had thought that the pattern on the ceiling was just dark blue paint stippled into swirls and swooping lines. But they’re actually words.

You can’t quite make it out (damn your worsening eyesight. When did you start getting so old?) So you pull out your phone to zoom in on the text, your favorite trick when your glasses aren’t handy. You zoom in on one of the swirls above you. 

 

It goes round and round, why do I keep coming back?

I go down and down, it feels like I’m a fool

 

You recognize the familiar lyrics. A huff of mirthless laughter escapes you as you realize that even here, you cannot seem to escape your soulmate. Your fate. 

The whole ceiling is covered in song lyrics, not just from BTS, but from many artists and songs you don’t recognize. They’re all about love. The different kinds of love, the excitement of new love, the pain of losing love, the frustration of unrequited love… 

A barista comes over to see if you need anything and notices your attempts to read the ceiling with your phone. You immediately feel like an idiot.

Ah, you are quite clever. Most people never notice, ” she says.

Really? That’s too bad. It’s so beautiful, ” you admit.

Hmm, yes. You can’t really see something unless you slow down. That’s why we made it. There’s beauty in all things. But you’ll only see it if you slow down and take the time to truly look and seek to understand, ” she says, smiling wistfully.

She bows to you and returns to the counter to take care of a new customer. And you wonder, now extremely paranoid, if the barista is an actor and you’re somehow living inside a Truman Show-esque hidden camera show, instead of the real world. How in the hell did she know exactly what to say to you?

You sit, shocked, as you realize you haven’t been giving your soulmate connection the time and attention it needs for you to understand and appreciate it. It is a mystical science. Part DNA, part ephemeral magic. And you have been a passive participant in the forging of that bond. 

But in your defense, neither has Jungkook. You’ve both been too busy trying not to step on each other’s toes, or getting thrust into terrible or awkward situations that you haven’t really been giving each other the attention either of you deserve. 

And you’ll never be able to truly connect until you slow down and try to get to know each other, as you truly are, first. 

Starting with giving him the respectful space he is seemingly too polite to ask for.

You notice that the light is starting to dim and check your phone. You’ve been sitting and thinking in this cafe for several hours now and the day is quickly coming to a close. You should probably make your way to the hotel now, knowing the guys should be done with their day soon. 

You’re gathering up your things when you start to notice a headache coming on sharp and fast. You grit your teeth, realizing you’ve spent almost a whole day away from your soulmate, something you haven’t done for a while now. And your lack of touch and proximity is making itself known. 

As you walk from the cafe to the hotel a few blocks away, your headache steadily gets worse and worse. By the time you actually reach the hotel, your ears are ringing so much that you can hardly hear anything around you. 

You walk up to the front desk to check in to your room, but struggle to understand the attendant at all. The ringing in your ears is getting louder and louder by the second until it’s drowning out everything.

And then you feel a lurch. A drag, like someone has raked their hands down your body, pulling it down. Your world spins and the next time you open your eyes, you’re one the floor. Head swimming and hotel employees swarming around you. 

This is what you imagine the machine from the Pit of Despair in The Princess Bride would feel like if you were hooked up to it. It feels like the very essence of your life is being sucked away and you’re left gasping.

In your utter confusion, one thing repeats in your mind.

Jungkook… Jungkook… Jungkook…

Something’s wrong. Something’s happened and you have to find him. With hands trembling from urgency and adrenaline, you pull out your phone, turning airplane mode off to contact Jungkook… Namjoon…  Anyone to find out what’s happened. 

Singularly focused, you watch as you get text message after text message. Most are from Jungkook, apologizing and asking you to call him. There’s a few from the group chat trying to soothe your hurt feelings, making excuses for Jungkook and urging you to listen to him. 

You find Namjoon’s texts and start scrolling. Surely if something happened, the leader would think to let you know. Scrolling down through the backlog to get to the most recent messages, you see several notes apologizing and to let him know you’re safe.

You’re still scrolling when several text messages come through.

 

Joon: NOONA WHERE ARE YOU?!

Joon: PLEASE CALL ASAP

Joon: Jungkook needs you!

Joon: We’re in the ambulance and headed to the hospital. Please come

 

Hands shaking, you call Namjoon. But when you put the phone to your ear, all you hear is the deafening roar in your ears. You pull the phone away from your face, surprised to find the screen wet. Your fingers touch your face, feeling the wetness falling from your eyes. Guilt, fear, regret, all spilling onto your cheeks.

You absently look at the screen to find the call has been connected for several seconds, but you can’t hear anything. Your brain finally catches up and you end the call. You have to text him. It’s the only way you’ll be able to find anything out!

 

You: Can’t hear. What hospital?

Joon: Jeju National University Hospital  

Joon: HURRY!!

 

You look up from your phone to see that people are still surrounding you, concerned faces and silent moving lips all pointed at you. You look up, thoughts muddled, trying to think of a way to communicate with them. Someone tries signing to you in sign language but you shake your head. And you look down at the phone in your hand. And you have an idea.

You show one of the employee’s the text message from Joon. Their eyes brighten with understanding. You’re helped into a cab, the hotel staff talking to the driver, most likely explaining that you can’t hear, and the car pulls away. 

You type out the name of the hospital and show it to the driver, who nods energetically to show he understands. You sit back, doing your best not to throw up, your stomach revolting at the sudden movements of the car.

The ride to the hospital takes an eternity. Namjoon has gone radio silent, the messages still on unread. The agony of not knowing what’s happened, or if he’s ok, weighs heavily on you. But you know if you try to use your phone right now, you will be sick. So you keep your eyes on the road, your sense of dread expanding more and more each second, as the taxi weaves through Jeju traffic.

And the only thing repeating in your head, battling with the reverberating noise in your head is please, don’t let it be too late.

Notes:

Happy Early Christmas!! Did you enjoy that cliffhanger? Because I sure loved writing it! hehehehe *twirls villain mustache*

This is coming early and little shorter than usual because I have a crazy amount of work to catch up on before Christmas and I *have* to get it done. I probably won't have a chapter ready for next week because of Christmas. I'll do my best this weekend, but no promises. I *am* sorry you might have to wait until 2022 to see how this turns out. (Eek! Don't throw things at me!)

And also, as a side note. I literally wrote this chapter twice, each with a different ending. After much debate, I determined this was the better option. I hope you agree. I might be persuaded to post the other chapter 14 after all is said and done and you can see if you liked it better.

Thank you for all the wonderful feedback and support you've been giving me! I am so grateful for you! I hope you all have a happy holiday season and a happy new year!

Chapter 15

Summary:

In which you show up to the hospital and talk with several people.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. If any dialogue isn't bolded, it's in English and intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You rush through the doors to the hospital, your hearing still muddled from the mosquito whine blocking everything else out. You’re so singularly focused on finding Jungkook, that you run for the elevators, bypassing surprised and confused patrons and hospital staff. 

You’re running full tilt, until hands reach out and grab you, holding you back. 

“Let me go! Please! I have to find him! I have to-” you break off with a sob, not able to fully hear your own words, muscle memory making the sounds for you.

A man in a dark hoodie, baseball cap and mask is holding you back, desperately trying to hold you, bringing a finger to his mask covered lips. Your tear filled eyes search the stranger’s face, finding warm familiar eyes fixed on you. The stranger reaches up to pull the mask away slightly, revealing a very tired, very worried Namjoon.

He tries calming you down, gripping your elbows to forcibly hold you in place, despite your clumsy attempts to keep running.

You can see Namjoon’s lips moving, but the whine in your eyes muffles the words. You don’t know what he’s saying, but you don’t care. You have to get to Jungkook. You have to find him! You try to escape again, and Namjoon looks exasperatedly at the ceiling before pulling you away to the elevators. Several pairs of suspicious eyes follow your retreat.

As the elevator’s start to rise, your ears feel like they’re becoming less and less stuffed with cotton, the pressure in your head receding and the incessant whine droning in your ears fades with each floor.

Namjoon stands with you, holding you tucked under his arms. You turn to look at his face and wince. It’s set hard with his jaw jutting forward, lips pursed and cheeks slightly hollowed. He is pissed. But whatever he’s feeling, he’s keeping on a tight leash.

... can’t believe this is happening, ” Namjoon mutters. His voice swims through the auditory fog and you catch the end of his sentence. The elevator doors open and he walks forward. 

I’m sorry ,” you whisper.

He looks back at you, surprise replacing anger.

“Y/N-ssi? Can- Can you hear me? ” he asks, relief and worry coloring his tone. His voice swims through the swamp of sounds in your head, muddled, but still recognizable.

Somewhat. The ringing is still there, but at least I can sort of understand you now.

Namjoon sags in relief. 

Thank God. We worried it might’ve been permanent. Let’s go, he’s this way.

He leads you down a very empty hospital ward, passing several dark and empty rooms.

They cleared the whole floor for us, ” he says, interpreting your confusion.

Namjoon. What happened? ” you say, pulling him to a stop. He puffs his cheeks out as he releases a quick breath. 

Well, how far do you want to go back? ” he asks, a slight edge to his tone. Yep. He’s definitely pissed.

All of it, ” you say, knowing you deserve the tongue lashing you’re about to get.

Well, after you left, Jungkook tried to take a swing at me and Jin. I was able to doge him, but Jin wasn’t as quick as me. I don’t know how we’re going to hide his split lip, ” Namjoon starts. You gasp at the revelation.

And then, there was a lot of yelling. Mostly from Kook. But some from everyone. He was mad that we held him back and we were mad that he almost made a giant press nightmare for us. But once everyone calmed down, we were able to leave the airport.

He pauses and looks you dead in the eye, hurt etched on every plane of his face.

Why didn’t you answer our calls? Our texts? Kook wasn’t the only one worried about you, you know, ” he trails off. And your heart squeezes, knowing you’ve messed up.

I- I turned my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I needed some space to think and I… I’m sorry I acted so selfishly… ” you trail off, guilt and regret threatening to crush you under its weight.

You can see the build up of emotions in Namjoon just before the dam breaks.

You could’ve been anywhere and we wouldn’t know! Someone could have taken you! You could’ve been hurt! We were so worried about you! You’re a part of this group now, whether or not you like it, and we don’t go off on our own! Ever. It’s not safe and it’s not ok, ” he says, breaking to turn away from you and pace a bit.

I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but sort that shit out. It’s not just affecting him now, it’s messing with all of us. We’re going to have to push back filming because of Jin’s lip. And who knows how long it’ll take JK to recover! If you can’t find a way to love him, at least consider him your job from now on. Stop messing with his head and just help him. If not for his own sake, for mine, for all the guys! Because we can’t afford to have any of us out of commission. Got it? You have to decide, and I don’t care which. Do you want to be part of this family? Or are you just one of the staff?

His words hurt. Like a slap to the face. A slap you know you deserve, but still stings all the same. You hang your head and nod your understanding.

 

Namjoon’s POV

 

Namjoon’s posture sags as Noona recoils from his words. And his face crumples in regret. Why did he say all of this now?! He was going to wait. Wait until later when his feelings weren’t so fresh, so raw. To wait, so he didn’t end up saying something he regretted.

Something like what he just said.

He reaches out to touch her shoulder but she shrugs away, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looks rough. There are deep purple splotches under eyes, like she hasn’t slept for months. Her skin is sallow and dull, her eyes red and watery, her hair completely disheveled and sticking out of her ponytail in limp tangles. Truly, she looks like she’s been through hell. And he just had to go and make it worse, didn’t he?

She sniffs, before setting her shoulders to answer him.

I won’t let you down again, Joonie. I promise.

The use of his pet name is like a knife to the gut. All Namjoon wants is to reach out and fold her into his arms, to love her and comfort her. To be the strength she clings to. But he knows he can’t. She’s not his to love. She’s Jungkook’s. 

But if that punk hurts her one more time, he’ll be the one throwing hands at Jungkook.

So what happened next? ” she sniffs.

Oh, uh, we went to the press conference. Jungkook never once complained about feeling tired or having a headache. He just carried on, like usual. Quieter and less himself, but normal. None of us knew how much he was pushing himself.  

When we got to the dance practice, I could tell he was going way harder than necessary. And he kept requesting we run things over and over again. He was pushing himself so hard. And then, in the middle of a run through, he literally just collapsed. Like he had absolutely nothing left and he just… dropped. We couldn’t wake him up, so we called the ambulance, ” he says quietly.

She just nods along, taking it all in. And Namjoon could scream from the effort it takes not to pull her into his chest and keep her there. 

When we got here, the doctors said it was just extreme exhaustion. His blood glucose levels were dangerously low and something about his electrochemistry being out of whack? I can’t remember what the doctor said exactly. He hasn’t woken up yet, but you can go in, if you want.

Namjoon wanted her to say no! That she didn’t want to see him! But given the state she was in when she arrived, he doubted that would be the case.

Namjoon sees her eyes widen slightly and her spine stiffen. She looks terrified. But ultimately, she nods her head. So Namjoon leads her to Jungkook’s room and opens the door for her. She walks in, Namjoon waiting outside, wanting to see if she’ll turn back to invite him in, or say thank you or anything! Please turn back. Please…

But she only has eyes for the man laying in the hospital bed.

And Namjoon lets the door close, leaving him on the outside.



Your POV

 

He looks terrible, you think. He looks sickly pale, the shadows casting gaunt shadows over his face, making a lump form in your throat. You hate seeing him laying in that bed, hooked up to an IV and all sorts of monitors. Cords trail from under his hospital issued pajama set, up to screens that show all sorts of stats that you couldn’t even begin to figure out. It makes Jungkook, the strong muscle bunny, look small and frail.

You move slowly into the room. As you draw nearer, you can hear the ringing recede, your hearing being restored with every step you take. You could weep from the relief of pressure that had been building in your head.

You dip down into the chair next to his bed as he sleeps, unaware that you’re there. What you want most in this moment is to reach out and take his hand, to establish that connection, the point of energy transfer, so he would recover faster. The guilt over knowing you did this to him is tearing you up inside. Like a swirling black tornado, destroying everything it touches. 

You sit with him for hours through the night. Never sleeping, your eyes never leaving him, watching for the slightest improvement now that you’re close to him. The rest of the members filter in and out. Sometimes coming to sit with you by the bed, sometimes just standing at the foot of the bed, all watching and waiting for the golden maknae to wake. 

When they try engaging you in conversation, you can’t find the strength to answer them. Preferring instead to remain silently focused on your mate in front of you. 

By about 4 AM, all the members have settled in to sleep in various states around the room, slung across chairs, curled on the couch, all of them spread out in a harmonious collection of disarray. All except Namjoon, who has been out talking with management most of the night to rearrange their schedule.

But you can’t sleep. How could you? When your soulmate is laid out, unconscious, in front of you? All you want is for Jungkook to open his eyes. And for the first thing he sees to be you. Your eyes on him, telling him wordlessly that you’ll never run away again. That you’ll support him, no matter what, from a professional, respectful distance. You can let go of the foolish notion of having Jungkook love you, if it means he stays healthy and strong. 

Tears slip out of your eyes, as you silently mourn the relationship that will never be, and allow yourself to hold his hand one last time. Slipping your fingers underneath his, gently pick up his limp hand and enjoy the scintillating sensation of your energies flowing between one another. Just one last time…

You lean down, resting your head on your arm, looking at your hand in his, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. Like your hand was made to be held by his. And your heart breaks afresh, falling to pieces all over again. 

You try to keep your sobs as silent as possible, not wanting to wake any of the other occupants of the room. Shoulders shaking from the pressure of holding it all in. And without realizing it, your hand grips Jungkook harder.

Oh God, what have I done?

Mind spinning, tears pouring, you finally lose the last shred of control over your sadness, letting it crash into you like a runaway freight train. You can feel your anxiety rising. Feel it struggling to pull you under its control. 

But you also feel a pressure on your hair, almost like fingers combing through it… Fingers?

Your head jerks up and you see Jungkook, awake, his opposite hand hanging in the air above where your head was a moment earlier. 

Jungkook only has eyes for you, eyes that bore into you, searching your face. You quickly jerk back your hand, squeezing your hands together in your lap to keep you from reaching out again. You’re giving him the respectful distance you’ve determined to maintain. Namjoon asked you to treat this like a job. So you will. This is just a job.

Oh, but it hurts to maintain that distance from him, so, so much.

Are you ok? ” he asks, looking at your tear stained face. 

I’m fine! I’m not the one who collapsed. How are you? ” you say softly, feeling your guilt intensify as you desperately swipe at the tears in your eyes.

I’m fine. I was stupid. I wasn’t eating and I pushed myself too hard, ” he tries to explain away.

A long silence stretches on, neither one of you knowing just what to say.

I just wanted to- ” 

I’ve been thinking- ” you both start, speaking at the same moment. 

A nervous laugh escapes you. “ You should go first, ” you say.

No, ladies first, ” he says, then adds, “ Unless it’s bad. If it’s bad, I want to go first, ” he says, looking just as nervous himself.

What you’re about to say would feel like bad news to you, but given what you overheard at the airport, you’re sure he’ll welcome the clear definitions for your “working” relationship from now on. So you take a deep breath.

I’ll go first, ” you say, steeling your nerves. “ I’m sorry I ran away earlier. It was completely immature of me. I put you at risk today. And I want you to know it will never happen again. I was upset because I thought… Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. What’s important is that I will be here to physically support you and make sure you’re able to work from now on. But I think it would be best in the future if we maintain some professional boundaries-

Professional boundaries? ” Jungkook interrupts, looking confused.

Yes. Some boundaries so that neither one of us makes assumptions about the other, ” you say.

I don’t understand, ” he says stubbornly.

You know, like not touching one another all the time or getting too loose with physical contact. That way neither one of us gets the wrong impression- ” He cuts you off again.

“I’m sorry, I’m still not getting this. What kind of wrong impression? ” He looks at you, completely bewildered.

You’re mortified that he’s making you spell it out for him. Why can’t he just get it?! Does he want to make you say you had feelings for him as punishment for running off?! 

Perhaps this embarrassment will cure you of your feelings for him after all…

You take a deep breath. “ The impression that one or the other of us has feelings for each other, ” you say. 

But you see Jungkook take a breath to interrupt you again, confusion still marring his usually gorgeous face. 

Romantic feelings! Ok?! ” you blurt, your frustration temporarily overcoming your embarrassment. “ But I think it would be best if I- I mean, we could just put that behind us and move on. ” 

But why would you want that? ” he whispers. 

Because I can’t handle this back and forth anymore, Kook! ” you practically yell in exasperation, jumping up from your chair to pace back and forth. “ Because I like you! A lot! And… ” you pause, running your hands through your hair. You’re sure you must look completely insane at this point. “ And if you don’t feel the same way, it’s better I know now so we can-

But I don’t feel that way, ” he says, looking relieved. “ I don’t feel that way at all.

You stop in your tracks. You must not have heard him right. 

I’m sorry,... What? ” you say incredulously. Now it’s your turn to be confused.

I said I don’t feel that way , ” he says boldly.

When you don’t immediately answer him, mouth working open and closed like a fish gasping for air, he swings his legs to the side. And pulling back the blanket that was covering him, he attempts to stand. 

He wobbles, the exhaustion clearly affecting him still. And before you know it, you’re rushing to him, reaching out to hold his arms and steady him. You just wanted to push him back into the bed. He needs to rest! But the moment you touch him, that wondrous rush of sensation floods into you. 

All the exhaustion, all the hurts, all the anguish, and despair, are obliterated in the wake of the energy rushing into you. You feel the fizzling sensation of his touch skittering up and down your arms, and you almost sag in utter contentment, selfishly clinging to him just one last time. 

I don’t want to have to be professional with you, ” Jungkook murmurs. He tips your chip up with a curled finger, raising your face to look at him. “ In fact, I’d like to be as unprofessional as possible with you…

He looks at you with trepidation, waiting for your response. Is he saying what you think he’s saying? 

“But… But I don’t understand. On the phone… With Sejin… You said-

I know what it sounded like. But it was the only way I could convince Sejin to keep you close to me at all times! His first priority will always be to protect me and the guys. But he is doing a completely terrible job of it right now,” Jungkook explains

But why-

He’s breathing heavily as his hands move to grasp your shoulders.

Because I don’t want to be separated from you! Not now, not ever! Because I… ” he stops, the fire leaving him

You what? ” you breathe, not quite allowing yourself to believe the words he’s saying.

Because I go crazy when you’re not near me! Not because of the headaches. Not because I’m afraid of what will happen if we’re apart! But because I feel so happy with you… so complete! Like a missing piece of myself has come home. I want to stay with you. Always, ” he admits, rushing to confess his feelings. 

He lifts one hand to brush away the tears that have reappeared on your cheeks with his thumb, cradling your face. His face is as tender as his fingers caresses you, hope and fear in equal parts.

You’re too overwhelmed by a surge of emotions to speak. It’s almost as if you can sense the depth of Jungkook’s feelings swirling inside you. You feel warmth and hope, mixed with a nervous fear. 

And underneath all of that, a raging pool of white, hot desire. 

As you continue to look at him, you think you can just see the desire simmering there. Hidden to the casual observer, but visible to you, feeling it through your bond. 

You sag into him, overcome with the combination of your emotions, burying your face into his chest as more tears escape you. He wraps his arms around you holding you tight. Like he’ll never let you go.

His cheek presses onto the top of your head as you continue to cling to one another, flush in the glow of your feelings. You whisper into his chest, so low only he could hear you. 

Me too.

His arms tighten around you more, and you can feel tears gathering in your eyes again. Except this time, they’re happy tears. Tears born from the knowledge that he does feel the same way. He wants you. Just as much as you want him. That you’re not alone in this soulmate game. You never were. He was always there, you were just too scared to see it

You could have stood there in his embrace for hours, but a throat clearing from nearby startles you both out of your little bubble.

About damn time, ” Yoongi mutters from the couch by the window. The tension breaks and you can just see the smiling faces of the rest of guys all around the room. Well, almost all the guys. Namjoon is still somewhere outside.

Jungkook releases you from his embrace, snaking an arm around your waist to keep you close. You look up to see your blissed out expression mirrored on Jungkook’s face, his wide, goofy grin showing all his teeth, dazzling you with sheer happiness. You feel in that moment, that something has cemented between you. That the channels of energy flowing between you are no longer fizzling along like too much carbonated water being sucked through a straw. 

It’s a river that connects you. Wide and deep, the energy flowing effortlessly between you, shimmering in its smoothness. You had thought you’d never want that sparkling fizziness to change. But now that you feel this, you’re certain that this is so much better. The blanketing wash of warmth suffuses you with so much contentment, you feel like you’re floating.

Hey! You should be in bed! ” you shout when you feel Jungkook sway unsteadily.

What? No! I’m fine! ” he insists, wobbling again.

But you’re having none of it. You herd him back into bed and tuck the covers around him, fussing over him. He just watches your fussing with an amused, bunny smile, his teeth peeking through as the smile grows wider.

The rest of the band stands to come closer to the bed, with Tae and Jimin plopping onto the narrow bed near Jungkook’s feet. You’re sitting next to him, holding his hand in both of yours, not willing to relinquish the contact you’ve established. 

When the intensity of Jungkook’s gaze on you becomes too much, you turn away and ask, “ So, what happens next? When will Jungkook be released?

We’re not sure. We wanted to wait for you to talk with the doctors, ” says Jimin softly.

You look for Namjoon to confirm, but he’s still not there. 

Ok. I’ll go grab someone, ” Hobi says and turns to leave.

Thank you, Hobi, ” you call after him

The doctor comes in, Namjoon and Hobi on his heels, and explains that Jungkook’s syncope was caused by a combination of low blood sugar and an imbalance in his body’s nervous system. 

We’re still learning about the effect of soulmate status on physiology, but it looks as if the energy transfer that soulmates experience has an effect on the body’s ability to maintain the correct electrical balance that allows nerves to transmit messages to other parts of the body. If contact is not maintained, it creates a build up of a negative charge in the blood. Almost as if being around your soulmate functions as an external filtration system. So, if you’re going to be exerting yourself away from your soulmate, you need twice as much positively charged electrolytes, young man, ” the doctor says, giving Jungkook playfully stern reproach. 

So, he’ll be ok? ” you ask for what feels like the fiftieth time. You’re still so worried.

Yes. But I highly recommend increased physical contact between you two. You’ve been bonded for over two weeks and your soul marks still haven’t manifested. That is worrisome. It could also be a reason why Jungkook-ssi collapsed so easily. You need to settle the bond. There are a number of health conditions that have been linked to a poorly maintained bond. Arrhythmia being the most common, ” the doctor intones.

Arrhythmia? What’s that mean? It sounds bad! ” Taehyung interjects, looking worried. Actually, they all look worried. 

It’s a fancy word for saying an irregular heartbeat. Arrhythmia isn't always life threatening, but can become so if not monitored. But, I don’t see a reason that, with continued physical contact and emotional bonding, anyone should be worried. I would also urge you two to seek out medical care if your marks don’t show up in the next week. It could be a symptom of something more serious, ” the doctor says, trying to impart the weight of his words with a serious look.

You nod, moving to hold Jungkook’s hand and squeezing it tight. His responding squeeze reassures your frazzled nerves.

But we’ve been monitoring you since your soulmate arrived, and everything looks perfectly within normal ranges. So I think that we should be able to discharge you this morning,” the doctor says, smiling at Jungkook.

 

It isn’t long before papers are signed and Jungkook is being wheeled to a service entrance, where several large vans are waiting to take everyone back to the hotel. The ‘95 liners are fussing over Jungkook, taking turns pushing him, or making sure he has enough blankets tucked around him. But when they see you, you swear it’s almost like they’re shooting daggers from their eyes. And when you try to talk to them, they conveniently ignore you. 

In fact, all the guys seem to be giving you the cold shoulder. It’s just that Taehyung and Jimin aren’t trying to hide it at all.

It’s late in the morning when you all get back to the hotel. You’re exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of the past twenty-four hours, but you’re pushing yourself to be strong for Jungkook right now. In fact, you’re practically supporting Jungkook as you enter your room. Perhaps he should’ve stayed a little longer in the hospital you think as you walk him over to the solitary king sized bed and sit him down. 

I’m just going to pop down to the front desk to see if they have my luggage from earlier. I’ll be back soon. Why don’t you order some room service for breakfast for us? ” you suggest.

His eyes tell you he isn’t a fan of the idea of you leaving so soon, but he nods and lets you go. 

On your way back from the front desk, luggage in tow, you run into Hobi and Jin heading back from a convenience store run.

Hey guys! ” you call brightly. But Jin and Hobi’s formal response makes your stomach clench. This isn’t the normal, sunshiney greeting you’d normally get from either of them. And you’re pretty sure you know why.

You walk with them towards the elevator and the weight of their combined disapproval is oppressive. It becomes too much to handle when you all walk into the elevator and the doors slide shut.

I’m so sorry, ” you say quietly, hanging your head. 

You don’t know what else to say. You know you’ve messed up. You just hope that you haven’t messed things up too badly between you and the rest of the guys. Because the members of BTS are a family, and they will be in your life from now on, like it or not. You didn’t just get one soulmate in this deal. You got a soulmate, plus six. 

Jin softens when he sees and hears your contrition. 

Noona. We, of all people, know how overwhelming life can be. So much so that you just want to run away. But you can’t run just because you heard something you didn’t like. If we did that, we’d never stop running! And I hate jogging! ” Jin jokes, nudging your side.

We love Jungkookie like a brother, ” Hobi picks up. “ And it hurts us to see him so torn up. It felt like you were deliberately trying to hurt him. And as much as I like you and see how good you could be for Jungkook, if you hurt him like that again…” Hobi shakes his head, a darker, more dangerous side of Jung Hoseok making itself known.. 

I know, ” you say. “ It wasn’t deliberate, though. It was just that every time I would think we were getting closer, something would happen to mess it all up. Over and over! And I just needed to get away, to clear my head, so I could try to figure things out rationally,” you finish lamely. You know it doesn’t completely excuse your stupid decision, but it’s the truth.

But, I think we cleared up any confusion we had. Finally,” you say. And you can’t hide the small smile that appears on your face.

When you do finally raise your head, it’s to see the twin knowing smiles on Jin and Hobi’s faces. 

We know. We were there, ” Hobi laughs briefly before continuing. “ Thank you for apologizing, Noona. We can forgive you. But only because of how happy you make our Jungkookie, ” he teases.

But I think you might have a harder time winning Taehyung and Jimin over, though,” Jin says as you exit the elevator.

Thanks for the heads up. I’ll see what I can do, ” you say. 

You stop in front of your door, touching Jin’s elbow to stop them before they retreat to their own rooms. “ And thank you for forgiving me. It really does mean a lot. I know how much Jungkook looks up to you all and how much you mean to him. I want us all to get along. Oh, and I’m so sorry about your lip, Jin. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much!

Well, if you can forgive me for what happened with the commercial filming a while back, then I can forgive you for this. But I don’t know what I’ll do about my handsome face now! It might become too handsome if I get a rugged, manly scar from it!” Jin says, hamming it up. Both you and Hobi laugh at the mock model pose Jins shoots at you. 

Soon Jin is joining in with your laughter and you feel that the soreness between you has been soothed somewhat. Jin sends you one last, dramatically wincing smile as he and Hobi retreat to their respective rooms. You take one last moment to calm the butterflies in your throat before pushing the door open to your room, to your soulmate.

Notes:

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season if that's something you celebrate in your neck of the woods! I'm so glad I was able to get this done before having to return to reality after our trip to the mountains for Christmas.

So, another gutting Namjoon POV, huh? Let me tell you, it hurt me to write it. But it had to be done. Because reasons... Yes, uh, reasons. Heh heh heh.

Also, what did you think of that confession, eh? All this torture was worth it, I hope. And now for some fluff. Before I torture everyone some more! *evil author laugh*

This story is FAR from over, FYI. I had considered splitting it up into a couple of related works, but I thought I should just keep going. Which would you prefer? The whole story in one place or two/three separate works in a connected series? Let me know in the comments!

Also, if anyone has any good recommendations for good FF, I'd love to hear them!! I'm always on the hunt for anything well written!

Thank you for the millionth (and far from the last) time for reading. I really appreciate it!

Chapter 16

Summary:

In which you have breakfast, take a nap, and see a sculpted piece of fine art.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken or written in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The door swings open, the familiar hiss of a hydraulic door assist sounding as the door shuts behind you. You walk into the room, only to find it empty. Looking around, you can't find any trace of Jungkook, and you wonder where he could’ve gone.

You pull out your phone to text him, when you notice a handwritten note laying on the bedside table.

 

Noona, 

There’s been a leak about my hospital visit. Joon-hyung asked me to do a vlive to show ARMY that I’m ok. I’ll try to make it quick. Breakfast should be there soon. Eat as much as you want. 

-Jungkook

 

His handwriting is neat and tidy and you find yourself smiling like a fool that he would leave you a handwritten note. You set the note down tenderly and head towards your suitcase and start to unpack a bit.

You pull out your phone as you move about the room, getting ready to sleep. You open your vlive app and click on his stream, seeing that he’s only been live for about five minutes. You’re exhausted to the extreme after staying awake all night, but you wouldn’t miss a Jungkook vlive for the world. You watch the live as you change into your pajamas. Jungkook is sitting with Namjoon, the both of them silent as they read some comments. 

They chat with each other, answer some of the comments and joke around with each other. It feels so familiar and so different all at the same time. You’ve watched so many of the guys’ lives, especially Jungkook’s, but somehow, it felt different now. Like you were behind the curtain now. And the idea gave you a little thrill.

It doesn’t take too much longer for the room service to arrive. You direct the employee to wheel the cart in by the bed, all while keeping your eyes glued to the screen, not wanting to miss a minute of it. You settle into bed to eat some breakfast, but you get distracted when you hear Jungkook start talking about the hospital visit.

I know there’s been some photos of me at the hospital, but I assure you, I’m fine! It was simply a precaution. I was feeling a little sick, so I was brought there for a check up. But I’m doing just fine. I think the company is putting out an official statement right now, right Hyung?”

I think so, ” Namjoon replies. 

So don’t worry everyone! I am fine! ” Jungkook finishes, and starts reading comments again.

But what about the girl with Namjoon? ” he reads out slowly. “ A girl, Hyung?

A smile hangs on the edge of Jungkook’s lips as Namjoon picks up the conversation.

A girl? I’ve only been with my BTS family today,” Namjoon answered, evading the question without being entirely dishonest. You smile at the leader’s practiced maneuvering. But it warms your heart to learn that you’re considered part of the family now. 

Jungkook squints to read another question.

What’s today’s TMI? Hmm…” he muses, pondering the question. “ I think it would be that even though I was in the hospital today, I’ve never felt better in my whole life than I do right now, ” he finishes with a huge smile.

Jungkook looks at Namjoon, sneaking a bashful look at his leader and a funny thought crosses your mind. If the Run BTS editor’s were editing this vlive, they’d probably add those cute, pink blush marks over his cheeks. It makes you laugh out loud.

So you decide to type a comment in the chat, knowing he probably won’t see it at all. 

You: I’ve never felt better, too. Borahae!

You add some purple hearts to the end in true ARMY fashion, and turn to inspect the breakfast Jungkook ordered after hitting send.

It’s a wonderful spread, rice with a fried egg on top, soybean paste soup and kimchi. But there were also more western offerings. Fluffy pancakes with syrup, bacon, hashbrowns and toast with butter and jam. 

Either Jungkook was way hungrier when he ordered or he was trying to cover all the western bases for you, not knowing your breakfast preferences. His thoughtfulness continues to make your heart flutter, only adding to your overwhelming twitterpation.

You eat your breakfast as you watch his live, watching him interact with ARMY. He looks so happy to have those moments with them, that you’re sure he’s lost track of time. A half an hour has gone by!

Frowning at the thought of him eating cold food, you call down to the front desk and order another breakfast to be sent up, requesting that it be sent as soon as possible. You wait until the food is delivered 20 minutes later to send him a text, reminding him that his food is getting cold.

They must be using a tablet to film because he pulls his phone out of his pocket when he feels the vibration from the text notification. His face immediately breaks into the happiest smile when he sees your name on the screen, before he checks himself and does his best to rein it back in.

Who just texted you? ARMY wants to know who made you smile that big, ” Namjoon says jokingly, but you can see the frustration lurking underneath it.

It was someone reminding me of my breakfast,” he says with a sly grin, also skillfully navigating the question. “ I’m sorry everyone, but I have to go now! I’m sorry I worried you! But I promise I’m just fine! I’ll work extra hard to prepare amazing things for you! Love you ARMY! ” Jungkook continues.

It takes a few more minutes of saying goodbyes and finger hearts before the vlive ends. And less than a minute later, Jungkook is bursting into the room in search of his breakfast. His eyes dart around the room until he sees you in bed with the breakfast tray next to you, his face splitting into a wide grin.

Did you eat? ” he asks, a little breathless.

Yes. Thank you for the breakfast, ” you say with a smile.

You’re welcome, but why are there two trays? Was something wrong with the food?

No! Not at all! It was delicious! But it got cold,” you say, feeling a bit shy, “So I ordered a fresh breakfast for you.

You didn’t have to do that. I’m used to eating cold food. Sometimes our schedules go long, ” he says. But his expression contradicts his words, making you think you make the right call.

Come sit down! There’s plenty of room, ” you say, scooting over to make room for him next to the bed.

He smiles and sinks down onto the bed, digging into the food with gusto. You marvel at how much food he’s putting away, but feel content watching him eat. It isn’t until he’s almost done that he notices your staring.

What? ” he asks, mouth partially full.

Nothing, ” you say, shaking your head. “ I just never really understood the phrase ‘Just watching you eat makes me feel full’ until right now.

He looks at the food mouth half open, then up at you, looking a little guilty. “ Did you want more? I’m sorry, I thought you were done! ” he rushes to explain.

I was! I promise. Eat! ” you urge. He hesitates at first, but then turns to finish off the rest of the breakfast plate. He leans back against the headboard, groaning and rubbing his stomach.

You both settle back into the bed and an uncomfortable sort of silence lingers. You want to start a conversation with him, to continue to connect with him now that you are alone. But you’re tongue tied. What should you say? How could you bring it up? What do you do with your hands?! 

Suddenly, everything feels too big, too difficult to even approach. And it leaves you floundering.

Jungkook suddenly sits up, bringing a hand to your arm.

Hey! What’s wrong? ” he asks, his brows knitting in concern.

Nothing! ” you lie.

He squints at you for a long moment before continuing. 

I think… I think I can feel your emotions, ” he says and your eyes bug out. 

What the heck?! You don’t know if you fully believe him, until you recall that moment in the hospital when you could feel Jungkook, feel his emotions. 

And the desire. It makes you gulp.

At least, the stronger stuff, ” he clarifies. “ I suddenly felt confused and worried for no reason. But then I saw you freaking out over there. So, I thought maybe I was feeling what you were feeling. Was I wrong?

No, you’re right! I was kind of freaking out. I wanted to talk about what happened earlier, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. But I didn’t mean to push that on you.

It’s alright. But it’s kind of weird, right? Feeling what the other person feels. I mean, I guess it’s not the first time that’s happened for us, is it? ” he says.

No, I guess it isn’t. You’ve felt my panic attacks, right? Sorry about those, by the way, ” you mumble, hating that all he’s felt from you so far is so negative.

I wonder why I only seem to feel you, ” he muses.

Actually, ” you start, “ I think I felt you earlier today, in the hospital.

Really? What did you feel? ” he asks, very interested.

Well, I felt how much you cared for me. You were feeling hopeful, but also a little scared? And uh, ” you trail off, not wanting to bring up the base desire you felt.

What else? ” he asks, eager as a puppy.

Stuff… You know, it doesn’t matter! ” you say, your voice rising as you try to avoid saying it out loud.

No! What else did you feel?! I want to know! ” he says, turning his huge round doe eyes on you. That eager face and small smile could get James Bond to spill his secrets.

Your cheeks heat up as the memory of what you felt manifests itself again, making a nest of tightly twisted rubber bands wind up in your core.

I could feel how much you, uh… wanted me, ” you say, knowing that almost everything above your shoulders was probably red by now.

Oh, ” he says before his own cheeks heat, showing off a beautiful rosy color. Why can’t you look like that? He looks like a damn model when he blushes! You just look like a tomato!

But seizing on the moment, he reaches for your hand to hold. And the river of connection opens between you once more, the placid surface of it belying the strength of the current beneath.

And now? Do you feel anything now? ” he asks, his voice lowering a breathy rumble.

You don’t know if what you’re feeling is coming from you, or him, or is a mix of both. But the desire you feel, is strong. Magnetic. Like you're both on opposite sides of a deep valley, your meeting in the middle at the bottom inevitable. And, if you’re lucky, violently sensuous. 

Your breath catches in your throat as the moment deepens. There’s tension building between you. So much tension though, that it’s a stumbling block between you. But your eyes find his, and your gaze is trapped within his singular focus. 

JK brings your hand to his lips and presses his petal soft lips against your knuckles, a gentlemanly indication of his desire. The skin on your hand practically sings, strumming notes into existence and hanging in the air between you.

Your phone ringing breaks the spell of the moment. You pick the phone up from the bedside table, seeing Namjoon’s name on the screen. You answer it, having to unstick your throat before speaking.

Hello?

Hey, is Jungkook with you? He’s not answering his phone. ” Namjoon says brusquely.

Oh, yeah. He’s right here. ” You hand Jungkook your phone. He looks at the screen before pressing it to his ear.

Hyung?

You can hear the muffled sounds of Namjoon talking, but can’t make out anything he’s saying. Laying back into the bed, you shut your eyes for a minute to cool off. The conversation must be important, if Namjoon called you looking for the youngest member.

You swear you weren’t feeling that tired a second ago, but the soft cradle of the bed beneath you along with the drone of Jungkook’s conversation on the phone, prove to be too much for your tired body to resist.

And before you know it, you can feel someone brushing hair away from your face, softly calling your name.

Noona, wake up. I have to go. Noona? ” Jungkook’s singsong voice calls, rousing you from a dreamless sleep.

Hmmm? ” you groan, trying to resurface.

I have to go. I’ve got rehearsal. But I’ll be back before dinner, ” Jungkook whispers.

What? What time is it? ” you ask sleepily. You open your eyes finally, struggling to look for the alarm clock. But your eyes don’t get far, getting tangled up in his. His face is close to yours as he squats near the edge of the bed.

It’s just after 2. You’ve been sleeping all day. Did you sleep at all last night? ” he asks, concern coloring his tone, his eyes never leaving yours.

Ugh. No. I didn’t. I’m sorry I slept all day, ” you grumble, rising to sit up.

It’s ok. You needed the rest. But I have to go now. I just didn’t want you to wake up alone.

Oh… Thank you, Kookie, ” you say, touched. He’s been nothing but attentive and considerate now that you‘ve both finally cleared the air between you. And a swelling sense of happiness and giddy contentment comes over you.

He smiles at the use of his nickname. “ I’ll see you later? ” he asks, as if he’s still not sure of this thing between you.

Absolutely.

You’re grinning like a fool. And his returning smile is just as big, just as bright as he rises and heads to the door. You shoot a quick, “ Fighting! ” with tiny raised fists as he opens the door. He giggles, responding with a cute, “ Fighting ” of his own, his laughter following him as the door closes.

As you sit in bed, you decide that since it’s been a whole two days, plus air travel, plus a hospital visit since you showered, it was in everyone’s best interests that you do so. And as soon as possible!

You let the warm water cascade over you, washing away the sweat and grime of the past day. The steam clouds up the room as you step from the shower and wrap the towel around your body, drying off and rummaging through your toiletry case. You’re trying to apply your skincare, but the mirror is too foggy. You open the door to the bathroom to let some steam out and reach over to wipe at the glass with a spare hand towel. 

Your eyes catch on something on the side of your neck. You lean in, wondering if you somehow missed a spot in the shower. But when you wipe at it repeatedly, and it doesn’t budge, it finally hits you.

It’s your soulmark. 

Finally!

Your heart jumps into your throat, as you jump onto the counter to get closer to the mirror. You lean in, turning your head up and to the side, trying to make out the shape of your mark. But it’s too faint to make out just yet. Just a slightly darker splotch crawling up the front left side of your neck.

You’re so excited to see the physical progress of your bond manifested on your skin! It has been so long! So much longer than usual. You’d checked your body every day for the first week, wondering if anything would start appearing. 

But with how rocky things started off for you two, it wasn’t all that surprising that it took a while to show up. For most people, soulmarks appear in the same place on both mates and turn a dark brownish black over the course of a few days, finally darkening fully when your bond is at its most stable. You wonder how long it would take for your mark to darken fully when a thought hits you.

It’s on your neck. On a highly visible part of your neck, no less. How on Earth is Jungkook going to be able to hide this?! 

Well, at this point, the mark is so faint, makeup should be able to cover it for any filming or photoshoots. But you know that won’t work forever.

You climb off the counter and finish getting ready for the day, finishing off your look with a bit of concealer over your mark. You’ll make sure you take it off later and bring it up to Jungkook later, but for now, you think it would be best to cover it up.

After getting ready for the day, you work on setting up your mobile recording space so you can get back to work. You remember how sweet it was for Namjoon to pack all this up for you, and resolve to do something nice for him in return.

A small blanket fort surrounds your mic and computers, using extra blankets and chairs from the room. You’re pretty proud of your little cave, so you decide to get a little work in. It’s still early in the afternoon and you assume that Jungkook will still be busy for a while yet. So after a few test recordings to get your levels just right, you turn your phone to silent and get started.

You’re in the middle of narrating an intense scene where one of the main side characters dies. He’s a beloved, witty character and performing his demise has you sobbing and struggling through your session. Right as you finish voicing his final breaths, the door bursts open. 

Noona!! Noona, are you ok?! Where are- What’s this?!” Jungkook yells in a panic.

He rips the top of your blanket fort away to reveal you, eyes red and puffy, sobbing over your microphone. 

What’s wrong? What’s happened? ” he asks, intensely focused on fixing the problem.

You can’t help but laugh a little through the tears.

Nothing! Nothing! I’m fine! It’s so silly, ” you sniff.

What is it? Whatever it is, we can handle it. I promise! ” He bends down to reach out to you, holding your shoulders to steady you.

He’s so adorably concerned and intense that it completely drives away your tears, replacing it with so much warmth and affection, but also laughter at the complete ridiculousness of the situation.

Dex just died, ” you smile, drawing a confused look from Jungkook at the disparity of your expression and your words. “ One of the characters in the book. I’ve narrated all 4 books in this series so it was an intense scene for me.

Jungkook plops back onto his ass, the wind completely leaving him as he realizes what’s happened. He could feel your sadness and distress through the soulmate bond, and came running to find you. You probably should be apologizing for causing him to worry, but you can’t find it in you to do that quite yet. The situation is just too adorably hilarious, that you struggle to stifle your laughter.

Oh! I thought something bad had happened! I tried calling, but you didn’t answer! I’m glad everything is ok! ” he says, breathing out his anxiety.

Everything’s fine. Well, Dex isn’t, but I’m fine, ” you laugh, pointing at your computer.

Jungkook’s concerned look rearranges into startled relief as the worry ebbs away.

I’m glad. This is going to take some getting used to, isn’t it? ” he says, laughing a little himself.

Looks like it. Maybe I should give you a heads up if I think I’ll be narrating some emotional stuff that day.”

Maybe, ” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes and face dip in embarrassment.

I’m sorry for worrying you. Were you done with rehearsals? I hope you didn’t leave early because of this! ” you say, finally feeling a bit remorseful.

No, we were done and on the way back. I may have yelled at the driver to go faster, though, ” he admits bashfully.

Oh no! ” you laugh, burying your face in your hands. You sincerely hope that he won’t feel it every time you get too emotional over a book. Because that happens… a lot.

Well, I’m glad you’re done for now. Are you hungry? Do you guys have dinner plans? ” you ask.

I haven’t talked with the others, but I thought we could order in and just lay low tonight?

I’d like that, ” you respond with a smile.

Great! Is there anything you’d like to eat? ” 

Meat? I’m definitely craving meat right now, ” you say, stomach grumbling as you’re reminded that you haven’t eaten since breakfast that morning.

Really?! Ok! I’ll place an order and then shower. Sound good? ” He jumps up from the floor in excitement.

Sounds good.

Jungkook bends over his phone to order some food. He asks for your preferences on the kind of meat (uh, duh? Pork belly and brisket?!) and a couple of the banchan before disappearing into the bathroom. It’s only a moment later when you hear the shower start up, but it’s joined by a beautiful sound emanating from within.

Jungkook’s voice sings out from the bathroom, crooning a melody as he showers. It’s a little slice of heaven, this domestic intimacy and you sigh, hearing his beautiful voice rise and fall. You pause your evening preparations and listen as you get your own private mini concert. You know ARMY would give their right arms to be able to be where you are right now, listening to the golden maknae sing “At My Worst” in the shower. 

When the water shuts off and you lament that your concert was cut woefully short. You pull out your phone to mindlessly scroll while you wait. But it seems to be taking him a lot longer than necessary to come out of the shower.

Everything ok in there? ” you ask, feeling a rising sense of panic that doesn’t seem entirely yours.

Uh, yeah! ” Jungkook answers a little too quickly.

Ok, ” you answer. You don’t believe it for a second.

It takes another minute before the door opens and Jungkook emerges shirtless with a towel wrapped around his hips. You do a double take when you see the glorious expanse of skin on display, surprise rendering you mute.

 Your eyes rush to take in every detail of the sight in front of you, every line and contour, his wet hair looking magazine cover ready, as your mouth slowly opens, trying to make a sound. He’s paused outside the door, watching for your reaction.

And then he moves around the room like nothing’s wrong, but you can see his face is tight. You quickly avert your eyes, wanting to give him the privacy he deserves. He heads to the closet to grab some clothes, moving closer to you, and you pop up off the bed.

I need a drink! I’ll be right back, ” you blurt, skirting around him and darting through the door. You step to the side, leaning your back against the hallway wall for support as you recover from your shock. 

This wasn’t like the brief moment when you walked in on him dressing a while back. No, no. This felt deliberate. Like he made the calculated decision to let you see him. He could’ve asked for some privacy. He could’ve slipped his old clothes back on for a minute to grab what he needed! He could’ve asked you to hand him some clothes, right?! 

But he didn’t. He walked out, putting every inch of his torso on display for you. Every muscle, every tattoo, every inch of skin north of the hip bones peeking out from the top of his towel. And hot damn, did he look amazing. His broad shoulders, tapering down to a neat waist. His chest, oh God, his chest, pulled taut, clearly defined. And the deep ‘V’ of his abdominals pointing down, teasing at what lay hidden behind the towel. 

Your cheeks heat and you fan yourself as you stand there, trying not to dwell too much on what just happened. But you can’t help but think that whatever BigHit is paying Jungkook’s trainer, it isn’t nearly enough. They deserve a medal of honor for being partially responsible for the masterpiece you just saw.

But your attention is diverted when you hear a door opening and shutting down the hall. You try to pull yourself together as Yoongi emerges from his room. He sees you, waving, and you call out to him in greeting.

Hey Noona. What’re you doing in the hallway? ” he asks.

Oh, I, uh… Nothing!  I was going to get a drink but I forgot my wallet, ” you try to explain without seeming too dumb.

He nods, seeming to understand. 

Where are you off to? ” you ask, trying to divert attention away from you.

I’m meeting an artist for drinks before dinner. They’re wanting to collab.

Oh, that’s cool! Well, don’t let me keep you! ” you blurt, trying to usher him away.

I’m good on time. Do you want me to get you that drink? ” he offers, but somehow you get the impression that he knows that’s not really why you’re out here.

Oh, no! I’m fine! I’ll just go back inside, then, ” you say, trying to escape his all too perceptive eyes.

You have to knock, having forgotten your room key in your haste. Yoongi stands there with you, arms folded and grinning like a cat who’s gotten cream for dinner as you wait for Jungkook to open the door. 

When he does, he’s fully clothed, thank goodness, and you give Yoongi a wave as you slide past Jungkook standing in the doorway. Jungkook waves to his hyung as he walks away, Yoongi shooting an approving thumbs up as he goes.

You immediately retreat into the bathroom, telling yourself it’s so you can touch up your makeup. Yeah, that’s definitely it. You’re definitely not trying to avoid having to look at 

You look at yourself in the mirror, noticing the color on your cheeks when your eyes drift down to where your mark lies hidden under the concealer. Should I take it off? you wonder.

When you emerge from that bathroom, Jungkook is fully dressed. He’s wet styled his hair to be slicked back, wearing a wide necked t-shirt tucked into exercise shorts. Even though he’s fully clothed at this point, it does nothing to keep your mind from seeing the muscles you know are underneath.

Your eyes are drawn to his neck, though, where you think you can see the soulmark beginning to bloom on his neck, too. It’s too hard to tell from your distance and from the way shadows fall on his open neckline, if it’s too obvious. You can bring it up to him later tonight. Maybe when things are a little less awkward.

I thought we could go for a walk around the resort while we wait, ” he suggests.

Sure, but let me grab a scarf first, ” you say, moving towards your suitcase. If you’re going to be out and about, perhaps it would be best if you covered the mark on your neck, just in case you’re photographed together.

You rummage around until you find one of your silk scarves. It’s actually one of your favorite subtle BTS merch items. A colorful square scarf with two hot air balloons on it, replicas of the ones used on their “Young Forever” album. 

You flatten it out on the bed in preparation for folding it, and Jungkook walks up behind you. His face comes close to yours as he looks over your shoulder.

Is that… ” he asks, leaning it to inspect the scarf a little more closely.

You start at how close he is to you, and how much he towers over you. It honestly feels like Jungkook is doing his utmost to unsettle you right now. It’s practically confirmed when you catch his eyes flicking to you out of the corner of your eyes as well as the sexy smirk he tries to cover. 

Damn, sneaky bunny. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

Yeah, it’s based on the Young Forever album, ” you say, moving away slightly to continue folding the scarf to wear around your neck.

I forget sometimes that you’re ARMY, ” he murmurs. “ Is that your favorite album? ” 

He backs up as he asks this, relenting his attack on your sanity, instead pivoting to trying to get to know you a little better. 

Yes and no. It’s one of my favorites, but I love almost all of your music. Asking me to pick a favorite is like asking a parent to pick a favorite child, ” you reply, tying the scarf around your neck.

You realize that you haven’t really had an opportunity to really talk with him, to get to know him, to talk about your likes and dislikes, since your date at the restaurant. Flashes of how that ended cloud your expression as you remember the mob of people trying to get at Jungkook, and the panic attack that followed that evening. 

He notices your change in demeanor and comes closer, asking, “ What’s wrong?

I just remembered how our first dinner date ended, ” you answer honestly. 

It takes him a minute to remember the hasty exit you made separately that evening and everything else that followed.

It’ll be ok. I promise. We don’t have to go for a walk if you’re worried, ” he says, reaching out, seeking to comfort you with his touch. His whole body turns towards you, and without needing to verbalize it, he’s communicating that his priority is your safety and comfort.

I’ll be ok. As long as we’re careful. It… It just wasn’t pleasant watching all those people try to get at you.

He frowns at this. A part of you knows that this is part and parcel of being a celebrity. He is a worldwide recognizable figure. People will always want a piece of him. Will always try to push into his personal life.

But it isn’t something you’re used to. It wasn’t something you thought you’d have to deal with when you thought about your future with your soulmate. It’ll take some adjustments, but you know you will be able to handle it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be his soulmate, right?

It isn’t like that all the time. You’ll see. I’ll keep you safe, don’t worry, ” he reassures.

I’ll keep you safe.

Somehow, those words are exactly what you needed to hear. To hear him say the words that he’ll protect you. 

Because speaking words out loud can be a kind of magic. When words are given physical form, they somehow become a part of the fabric of reality. It can will things into existence. When thoughts become vibrations, it can change the world around you.

So with mind reassured, heart happy and light, you let Jungkook guide you as you exit the comfortable safety of your room, and strike out into the world. Knowing that no matter what, he’ll be there for you.

Notes:

How about that chapter summary? I may or may not have laughed myself silly. Also I think this may be the most dialogue heavy chapter so far. We're making inroads, people!

And are we all surviving BTS instagram? Because between Jungkook's sweet puppers pics and boxing, and Joon and Hobi thirst trapping us, odds of my survival are slim. Oy.

 

I hope everyone had a happy and safe New Years! Now that I've finished my project at work, I'll have a little more bandwidth for writing! So back to at least once a week updates!! And forever and always, thank you for reading! Let me know what feedback you have below! <3

Chapter 17

Summary:

In which you get rained on, ride in an elevator, and watch a movie.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. If it's dialogue and not bold, it's in English and intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The resort on Jeju was nothing short of spectacular. Restaurants? Check. Beach volleyball? You got it. Fire pits? S’mores are at the ready. You want to swim? Ocean or pool?

But the best part? The miles of beautifully maintained trails for walking. Some meandered around the resort, some up into the hills that served as a barrier to the outside world, and some paths that followed the beach for miles. 

Jungkook seemed to know where he was going, leading you along the paths towards the ocean. Around the hotel and more populated parts of the resort grounds, you both kept a polite, if a bit charged, distance from one another. But as soon as the crowds disappeared, he reached out to hold your hand. 

And that’s how you found yourself, walking hand in hand with Jungkook, watching the sun sink into the horizon.

It’s so beautiful here,” you say. You watch as the ocean’s fairly glittering in the setting sun. The sun is putting on quite the show tonight, throwing bursts of orange and crimson through the clouds and fading seamlessly into a sleepy purple. 

It is. I love the beach. Especially at night,” he responds.

Me too, but to be fair, I love the beach any time of day. Early morning, mid day, night… it doesn’t matter. Any time spent on the beach is time well spent.

You lived near the beach in California, right?

Yeah, I go to the beach as often as I can in LA. Everything about it is so healing to me. The sights, the sounds, the people, the breeze…” you sigh, getting lost in thought, “It just feels like home, you know?”

He smiles at you, humming in agreement. You pause, stepping forward a bit to take a picture of the sunset. The colors painted through the clouds are just so beautiful, they have to be remembered. You turn, thinking you should take a picture of Jungkook, only to find him with his phone up, snapping a picture of you!

Hey!” you say while your hands reach up to check your hair. Just as you suspected, it’s flying everywhere in the breeze.

What? I liked the view,” he says smiling, slightly embarrassed to have gotten caught.

You roll your eyes at the line. You’re not buying it. Your hair is a rat's nest of flyaways and you’d bet one hundred bucks that your makeup is smudged with all the humidity.

Yeah, sure. Well, if you’re going to take a picture, at least take one with me,” you pout in mock upset.

He responds with his typical bunny enthusiasm, and bounds to your side. His arm works around your shoulders and pulls you in tight. It feels so wonderfully warm and strangely familiar, that you reach up your arms to hold onto him just as tightly. You snuggle your head up under Jungkook’s and he raises his phone out with his other arm for a selfie. He turns your two bodies this way and that, trying to find the best light, before snapping a few shots.

Will you send those to me?” you ask, looking at the photos with him. Is there nothing he’s bad at? He’s somehow managed to make you look halfway decent in those pictures. But you’re definitely outshined by the barefaced beauty next to you.

He hasn’t removed his arm from your shoulders and you’re not complaining. Everything feels so perfect, the moment could’ve been ripped straight from a kdrama. The only thing missing would be the big kiss moment.

Holy shit… Could this be it?!

Your nerves jolt at the thought and you squirm a little under his arm. He turns to look at you, trying to figure out the reason for your sudden movements. And when he catches your eyes with your face upturned towards his, the atmosphere becomes thick with potential. 

It might be it! He might actually kiss me!!

No one is around to interrupt you, the atmosphere is practically buzzing with romantic tension, and the backdrop is Oscar level perfect. You can’t conceive a more perfect setting for a first kiss. The butterflies in your stomach make a grand reappearance as you continue to watch each other, waiting for one of you to give some kind of indication, a push to bring you together. Your eyes dip momentarily to his parted lips, and you wonder now if you’ll finally learn what they feel like pressed to yours. 

Your peek at his lips seems to be catalyst enough for him. 

He exhales and dips down to your upturned face, slowly closing the distance between your lips. You close your eyes a moment before you think your lips will meet, holding your breath as you feel the heat from his skin… But what you actually feel is the skies opening. The beautiful clouds you had been admiring earlier turn traitor and dump a sudden deluge of water upon the two of you.

Squealing with surprise, you pull back and throw your arms over your head.

Come on!” Jungkook yells through the rain as he grabs your hand and runs back towards the resort, pulling you along behind him.

A part of your brain wonders if there’s any point to running. You walked at least half a mile this evening, so by the time you could scurry back to the shelter of the resort, you’d still be soaked. And you’re exasperated and frustrated by your interruption. Again! Damnit! How many times have you almost kissed your soulmate now? You’ve lost count. It’s almost ludicrous to think about and it puts you in a sour mood. 

That is until you hear Jungkook’s giggle. 

He looks back at you, eyes bright, mouth wide and open. Pure joy is shining from his eyes and it’s highly infectious. It pulls a laugh from you as he pulls you along. Which turns into two, and then more tumble forth as you run hand in hand. The rain falls around you, and you’re both laughing and squealing all the while. 

Before you know it, you’re back in the shelter of the resort’s main buildings. When you finally dip under the roof of the poolhouse, you’re both soaking wet and laughing so hard, you can hardly catch your breath. 

Well, I suppose that’s one way to get in a workout!” you gasp.

Nah, that’s not nearly enough!” 

Maybe for you!” 

Jungkook laughs even louder at that, and it strikes you that you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this happy, this free, in the entire time you’ve known him. There’s always been a part of him that was holding back, a part that always seemed nervous or uncertain. A part of himself that was hiding.

But seeing him so at ease, so happy, sends a shot of pure serotonin to your brain. You know you will always crave this side of JK. You’ll always want him to be this joyful and unrestrained. And you know you’ll do anything to make him feel this way again.

We should probably go inside. I bet our food will have arrived,” he says, still a little breathless.

Good idea. Here, let’s dry off a bit first,” you say, looking in a nearby towel caddy.

You pull out two towels and hand one to him. Jungkook sends you a wicked gleam before shaking his head like a dog, spraying water everywhere. You squeal in surprise, holding your hands out in front of you in a vain effort to stop the droplets from hitting you. 

You both devolve into hysterical laughter again when Jungkook begins to chase you. You run inside the pool house and through the hallways, heading to the main elevators. You know if he really wanted to, he could catch you, but you keep up your end of the charade, trying to evade his grasping hands, weaving in and out of the architecture of the lobby. You feel like you’re a couple of teenagers, instead of the grown adults you both are. 

You call the elevator and the doors open immediately. You rush into the small box, Jungkook hot on your heels. You realize your folly as soon as you rush into the corner and you spin, squealing, as you take in Jungkook’s stalking form. He slams his arms around either side of your shoulders, trapping you in the corner.

I got you!” he proclaims, looking down at you with a predatory grin.

But the tension in the elevator ratchets up to eleven as the doors close and the car starts to rise. You take in his drenched form, his clothes hanging his body, and it reminds you that you’ve seen exactly what lies underneath his baggy, semi-transparent t-shirt. The neck of his shirt is gaping so much, you can see straight down to the tops of his abs and it drains the smile from your face, replacing your previous mirth with something bordering on desperation.

It seems like Jungkook has come to a similar realization, his eyes raking down your body, taking in the way the saturated fabric clings to the swell and swoop of your breasts, your waist, your hips. 

Self conscious, and feeling somehow worse than naked in front of him, you clear your throat and hunch your shoulders, moving to try to hide as much as you can. He leans back, removing his hands and retreating to the opposite corner, giving you both space to breathe.  

You’re sure he can see exactly what your bra looks like. You curse yourself for choosing a white shirt. Well, at least you wore the pretty pink lace bra today. The air in the elevator continues to thicken, the only sound being yours and Jungkook’s heavy breathing, as the elevator slowly rises. 

Once you reach your floor, you practically bolt from the elevator the minute the doors are even open, seeking relief from the overwhelming sexual tension of that damn elevator. You’re starting to develop a love-hate relationship with them.

Jungkook follows behind you, hands in his pockets and quiet as you walk to your room.

Our food’s probably been delivered to the room already,” Jungkook says when you're still 3 doors away. 

Hmm? Oh. Yeah,” you respond, your vocal chords still thick with lust.

Would you want to watch a movie while we eat?” he asks.

A movie would be great!” 

Ooh! A movie sounds fun! Which one!” you hear Tae’s voice calling out from a few steps behind you. He’s carrying a bucket of ice under one arm and heading back to his room with it.

Oh, uh, no. We hadn’t decided which one, yet,” Jungkook says.

Ooh, let’s watch Titanic!” Tae says, getting excited.

Jungkook is catching some of Tae’s enthusiasm, and he turns his adorable puppy eyes on you to ask, “I love that movie! I’m game if you are, Noona.

But you hate that movie. It is too long, too suspenseful (and not the good kind of suspense), and you always had a really hard time with the fact that Rose never actually broke up with her fiance before getting it on with Jack.

And seriously, the only bearable part of that movie is the soundtrack. Yes, please and thank you, Celine Dion!

You hesitate, knowing you’ll be subjected to 195 minutes of torture. But Jungkook’s face is so excited, so hopeful, that you can’t bear to say no.

I guess we could,” you relent.

Are you sure? We could watch something else,” Jungkook says, picking up on your hesitation.

No! It’s fine!” You figure this might make some inroads with the 95ers in thawing the ice between you.

Yes! I’ll go get Jiminie!” Tae says before scurrying off in search of the other half of the 95 line.

You sure you’re ok with it?” Jungkook looks at you, trying to puzzle out the discrepancies between your face and your words.

It’s fine. It’s just that Titanic isn’t my favorite movie. And it’s really long,” you explain.

Oh, well, we could watch something else. Really! I want you to enjoy it too!” he says

No, really. It’s fine! But could we not watch the whole thing tonight?

Absolutely!That’s fair. Come on, let’s eat our food before it’s completely stone cold,” he suggests, motioning to the door.

You enter your room, and immediately grab the comfiest set of clothes. If you’re going to have to suffer through Titanic tonight, you might as well be comfortable. You can eat during the movie to distract yourself from your suffering.

I’m just going to take a quick shower!” you call out to Jungkook as you head into the bathroom. You’re freezing cold and covered in a sticky mix of sand, salty sea breeze, and rain, and the warmth of the shower’s steamy embrace is a welcome relief.

By the time you’re done, sweats on, damp hair loose, and you emerge from the bathroom, your room is crammed packed with seven male bodies, jostling and jockeying for a comfy spot somewhere in front of the TV.

Jungkook waves you over to indicate that he’s saved you a spot on the bed, and to point out your food that’s sitting on the bedside table. You sigh, and walk over. I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I, you think, realizing again that your soulmate is but one of a group set. There’s probably going to be many, many nights of this to come. 

You settle in next to Jungkook on the bed and pull the takeout container over to eat as Tae pops up in front of everyone and calls for silence. 

Ok! Tonight’s film is…  Titanic!

A chorus of cheers and a singular boo is hurled back at Tae. Your head follows the direction of the jeer, seeing that Namjoon looks as excited about the movie as you do. He catches you watching him and you send him a sympathetic smile. You wonder why he chose to come if he hated the movie so much.

The first half of the movie is spent sitting awkwardly in between Jungkook and the edge of the bed. Jungkook keeps getting shifted over because of the Vmin snuggle fest that’s happening on the other side of the bed. It’s frustrating because you keep shifting, trying your utmost best not to touch Jungkook too much in front of the guys. While things have mostly returned to normal with the older four, Tae and Jimin still treat you a bit stonily, overprotective of their Jungkookie.

And when Jungkook shifts over once more avoiding a foot to the face as Tae lays on his stomach, feet in the air, you’ve had enough. You get up from the bed, claiming that you need to use the restroom. But really, you just want to stop holding your body at an awkward angle all night, feeling like you’d fall on your face any minute.

You close the bathroom door behind you and slide down it’s smooth surface, hugging your knees to your chest. You rest your head on your knees as you take a deep breath. This day has been long and emotionally overwhelming. And all you want to do right now is go to bed, but the gaggle of guys sitting out in the bedroom area are preventing that from happening.

On one hand, you want to kick everyone out, claiming tiredness and that both you and Kook need your rest so he can be ready to go tomorrow. But on the other, you know that the guys probably want this time to decompress after the hospital scare. They crave the companionship and comfort of their brothers in arms. 

You keep dithering between the two options, trying to decide which to do when the door opens behind you, spilling you onto the floor. Looking up through legs your head is now lying between, you see Kook’s face quirked in surprise and amusement.

What are you doing?” he asks with a confused smile on his lips.

Umm, thinking?” you say lamely.



Jungkook POV

 

Jungkook had to admit, Noona looked so cute looking up at him, the surprise on her face making her eyes grow wide and more beautiful than usual. But why was she on the floor in the first place? Something was wrong, he knew it. He just didn’t know what.

Here, ” Jungkook says, reaching down to pull her up. “ What’s going on?

Like I said, I was just thinking,” she says. But she doesn’t elaborate further, which frustrates him a little. He hates when he has to guess what people are thinking, because most times he’s totally wrong.

About what?” he asks.

Her eyes dart around, taking her time trying to come up with an answer. Jungkook can tell she’s uncomfortable. In fact, it started the moment Tae showed up and invited himself to their movie night. He had been excited at the prospect of Titanic until he’d seen her reaction. It was like she totally deflated.

He’d tried to get her to tell him how she felt, but he knew she was trying to make Tae happy. He’d heard some of the cold thing’s they’d said about her while he was in the hospital, drifting in and out before Noona showed up. He knew his friends were sometimes overly protective of him, being the maknae of the group. But he was an adult now, for God’s sakes! He didn’t need them to fuss over him like a mother hen.

While he wondered whether he should’ve told Tae no earlier, he also didn’t want to pass up the opportunity that he might be able to snuggle up with her during the movie. And when Noona came out of the shower, he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. She looked so adorable in her oversized sweats and her wet hair framing her beautiful face. The picture of effortless, comfortable beauty. It had made him extra excited about the prospect of holding her in his arms and running his fingers through her hair.

So anytime Tae or Jimin shifted in the bed, he took it as an excuse to get a little closer to her. And they fidgeted a lot. He thought eventually she’d have to lean into him. But she kept leaning away from him. Like she didn’t want him to touch her. 

Had he gotten the wrong impression from earlier? He thought they were having a moment. Several moments in fact, if he thought about it. The whiplash he got from her this evening left his head spinning. He just wished he could read her mind, sometimes. 

Especially since Jungkook felt he’d basically told her he loved her early that morning. He had almost let the words slip out in the hospital. Because he was sure what he felt for her was love, even as tender and new as it was. But he didn’t want to clobber her with his feelings and make her push away again. So he decided to take it slowly.

So when she kept scooting and leaning away from him, and then ultimately getting up to disappear for more than ten minutes, he was afraid he had maybe pushed things too fast on the beach and then again in the elevator. He felt an uncomfortable mix of nervousness and disappointment before making the decision to go find her and talk to her.

I was just trying to decide how much longer I could take watching the movie,” she said finally. She was rubbing her forehead in frustration, but he could see how much she seemed to be suffering.

Well, we said we’d only watch part of it. I’ll go kick everyone out. You’re probably tired, right?” Jungkook tried to find her eyes, but she seemed to want to look everywhere except at him.

Yeah. I’m sorry, but thank you,” she replied letting out a huge sigh, looking at her feet now.

It’s no problem. Do you want to come out, or stay in the bathroom? I can cover for you, if you want to stay in here?” 

He knew all too well, as an introvert, the feeling of being overwhelmed by the people around you and needing a break. He paused to give her a moment to consider, waiting for her to tell him what she needed. Because whatever it was, he would give it to her.

This makes her finally look at him, a discerning face returning his earnest gaze.

I’ll come say goodnight,” she says after a moment,

Ok.” Jungkook reaches his hand out to her to lead her from the bathroom. She looks at the proffered hand a moment before taking it and winding her fingers in between his. The swell of energies flooding into him instantly calms his frantic heart and he squeezes her hand in reassurance.

Now, Jungkook just wants to get everyone out as fast as possible. He drags Noona behind him and calls out loudly, “Ok! Movie’s over! Everyone out!

They all turn to him, begging him to let them stay longer. Their whines and pleas don’t even put a dent in his resolve. Jungkook wants his soulmate to be comfortable, so he’s going to make that happen. And no amount of Tae’s “Tata Mic Face”, Jimin-ssi’s full on pout, or even Jin-hyung’s wailing can sway him.

Jungkook releases his soulmate’s hand and walks over to the TV, turning it off and yanking his hyungs up off the floor or off the bed, shoving them all towards the door. It’s a good thing he’s pretty much stronger than all of them, because he’s shoving almost all of them towards the door, laughing and smiling. All the while, their overlapping pleas follow them all the way to the door, where he finally shoves them out and slams the door in their faces.

He loves his hyungs and their craziness, but tonight, his soulmate comes first.

He walks back in the room, expecting to finally be alone with his soulmate, only to find Namjoon standing close to Noona, talking to her. A jealous green haze makes him want to yank them apart and step between them. But he knows that Namjoon would never do anything to come between him and his soulmate. He’s probably just telling her about upcoming schedule stuff… right?

Let me know, ok?” Namjoon says earnestly before waving and walking to the door.

I will. Thank you, Joon-ah,” she says. The intimacy of the nickname makes him bristle again. They’ve only known each other for three weeks. How is he comfortable with her using a nickname with him?

Night, hyung,” Jungkook says, trying to expedite the leader’s exit.

Once Namjoon’s left and the door shuts, the room is quiet again. Jungkook turns back towards his Noona.

What did hyung say?” He can’t help it. His territoriality gets the better of him and he has to know what they were talking about.

Oh, he just reminded me that if I ever needed anything I could ask him.

Ask him? Why wouldn’t you just ask me? Jungkook thinks, feeling a little hurt by the thought that his soulmate might not be comfortable asking him for things.

Ah. Ok. Well, we should probably get ready for bed,” Jungkook says. 

And suddenly he is very aware of the single bed in the room and the fact that they haven’t really talked about whether she was comfortable with this or not. The idea of falling asleep with her next to him is as terrifying as it is exciting. 

Jungkook isn’t quite sure how to approach the topic, but is saved when she blurts, “Is it alright if I sleep in the bed with you tonight?

He’s knocked off guard by her bold admission. Pleasure that she wants to share his bed floods him and he’s rendered temporarily speechless.

I mean, it’s just that it’s been kind of a rough day for me, for both of us. And I think-

Yes,” he interrupts.

What?

I said yes. Yes, you can sleep with me. Wait, that sounded wrong, what I meant was-” he says, flustered.

She pressed her lips together to stifle a giggle before cutting Jungkook off.

I know what you meant.” 

Her giggle finally escapes, a beautiful, musical trill. And the nerves of the moment have broken. Jungkook relaxes and returns a giggle of his own, feeling his nose scrunch in happiness.

Alright. Well, I’m going to take a quick shower,” Jungkook says, hooking a thumb towards the bathroom. She nods and busies herself about the room, plugging in her phone and getting ready for bed.

The shower gives him plenty of time to overthink the practicalities of sleeping, just sleeping , with another person. What side does she like to sleep on? Does she like lots of blankets or not? And, oh God, what if he snores and she hears him?! 

He quickly gets dressed in the bathroom and gives himself a pep talk in the mirror.

You can do this. Just go out there and don’t make it weird! ” 

And taking a deep breath, he walks into the bedroom, where he sees her standing in the middle of the room. And he’s a tiny bit relieved to see her face is tight with nervousness, too.

Jungkook moves to the bed. When she doesn’t  follow him, he jumps up and plops himself on the edge of the bed, slapping the space next to him like a little kid, trying to break the tension. His eyes sparkle with playfulness as he continues to slap the bed, beckoning her over.

That childlike goofiness breaks through her tension, drawing a smile and a laugh. She likewise plops herself on the bed next to him. He continues to watch her with playful eyes, until his focus shifts to her hands clasped together in her lap. Things always seem to feel better, more settled when they touch, so he reaches out to hold her hand.

But that familiar calming flood of energy comes with a heaping dose of physical desire this time. He can feel how much she wants him through their bond, how turned on she feels, and all the doubts he had earlier fly out the window. 

She wants him almost as much as he wants her! And he could crow in triumph!

He looks down and sees that almost her entire leg is on display, with only a baggy shirt covering the very tops of her thighs. It’s just aching to be touched. He knows he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t touch her like that. Not yet! 

But he finds himself bringing his other hand over to rest on her thigh anyway, the allure of so much skin too much for him to pass up. He revels in the feel of her under his hands as his fingers brush up against the hem of her shirt. 

So, how do you want to do this?” he asks, quietly seductive. 

Notes:

What ever will happen next? I don't know! *wink wink*

I'm posting a little early because the schedule got weird around the holidays. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I feel like there's more getting to know you things that are happening since they finally confessed and are being less idiotic about one another. Ha ha!!

Thank you so much for reading! <3 I promise I won't make you wait too long for the next chapter! Kisses!!

Chapter 18

Summary:

In which you attempt sleep and receive a surprise.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. If there's dialogue not bolded, it's in English and intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You. Cannot. Breathe. 

Your lungs have ceased to function, your brain going completely blank, except for the sensation of Jungkook’s fingers stroking back and forth on your thigh.

Holy hellfire, what does this boy think he’s doing?! Is he trying to murder me?! He is! He is actively trying to murder me. 

You finally take a shuddering breath, allowing your brain to function somewhat now that it’s received some of it’s previously restricted oxygen.

I’ll, uh, take this side, ” you say dumbly, pointing to the left side of the bed. 

You can feel the heat of blood rushing south, to cause a growing throb between your legs. And Jungkook has the audacity to smirk and finally releases your leg. But not before giving it a squeeze, causing a small squeak to escape your throat. 

He scoots back, moving to the other side of the bed and nestling under the covers. You likewise slide under the covers and lay down on your side, facing Jungkook, feeling the growing discomfort of being turned on without having any relief. 

It makes you wonder how much experience Jungkook’s had with others. The thought of him being with someone else makes you irrationally irritated. But you know that he’s had a life before you. He was probably getting it on the regular before you found each other. How could he not?! He’s probably had girls (and boys!) throwing themselves at him for years! 

The idea doesn’t sit well with you at all, comparing yourself with the faceless beauties you know you could never compete with. And the thought kills your arousal almost instantly. 

That negative self-talk then has your mind wandering to your own past relationships as you lay there, watching him. What does he think about your past? You’ve been fairly open and honest with him regarding that, but you’ve never actually talked about it. Actually, now that you think of it, you’ve never really talked  with him about much of anything! 

What if he secretly hates that you’re divorced? And what about the fact that you’re older than him?! It’s not like it’s something either of you can do anything about. You don’t get to choose your soulmates, after all. 

But it isn’t like it is instant love, either. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t just the tiniest bit disappointed that your soulmate was a celebrity. Sure, there were definitely perks to being famous. But living your life under a microscope? You wouldn’t wish that on your worst enemy. 

Your gut starts to roil for a completely different reason now. And the uncertainty is not painting a pretty picture for you.

Can I ask you something? ” you say.

Sure. What do you want to know?

Well, you know I was married previously… ” 

Uh huh, ” he says, not really sure where you’re headed with this.

Well, I was just wondering… if you’ve ever had someone? Like a serious relationship? ” You’re not sure you really want to hear his answer.

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking. “ No, ” he says. “ No serious relationships. I didn’t have time for them.

Really? You haven’t been with anybody? ” you ask skeptically.

I mean, I didn’t say that . Just, no one serious. I’ve gone on dates, had casual relationships. But I never found anyone who I had a connection with. No one I wanted to have more with, you know? ” he murmurs. “ Except you.”  

You pause for a moment, unsure if you should ask your next question or not. 

Do you mind that I’m older? ” You are so nervous that you hold your breath, bracing for his answer.

No, not at all. My mom is older than my dad. I guess I always assumed my soul mate would be older, like them.

You’re surprised by his answer. You recall his reaction when you told Jin how old you were. How he stiffened when he heard your age.

Really? I thought maybe you weren’t happy when you found out how old I am. You kind of reacted weird when I told Jin my age.

Oh! That’s because it was a surprise. A good one, I promise! I thought how perfect it was that my soulmate was older than I was, just like I’d always imagined… ” he trailed off, slightly embarrassed at the confession.

You’re surprised and you wonder how many other interactions like that had been Jungkook processing happy surprises and not the displeasure you had assumed.

Jungkook shifts a little closer to you and reaches out for your hand on top of the covers. You give it to him and you instantly feel your anxieties melt in his warmth. 

You know, I’m glad you weren’t with us on the airplane yesterday, ” he all but whispers.

And that's when your snarky side decides that now is the time to come out to play.

You’re happy that they were keeping me from you? ” you tease. His eyes fly open, rounding with surprise.

What? No! I mean- ” he stammers.

You laugh as he cutely flounders for words. 

I’m kidding! I’m kidding! ” you say, patting his arm for reassurance. His face morphs from fear to a good natured smile.

“No! I meant that I’m glad it happened, because I feel like I can do this whenever I want now.

He looks down at your still clasped hands and starts drawing circles on the back of your hand. You look too, swimming in butterflies at the sight of your hands clasped together.

Me too, ” you murmur.

You lapse into comfortable silence, enjoying the sensations of his fingers rubbing your skin. Eventually, his patterns start becoming more irregular and slower. And when you look into his face, you can see his eyes drooping closed.

“Good night,” you whisper.

“Good night,” his sleepy voice replies in his accented English, the ghost of a smile on his lips. 

He lets go of your hand as he shifts to make a final adjustment to get perfectly cozy. Soon, he’s closing his eyes and going to sleep. And likewise, you turn off the light and shut your eyes, attempting to fall asleep.

Only to have your eyes spring back open a few moments later, your brain having kicked into overthinking overdrive. And you proceed to stay awake half the night, all too aware of the male body in the bed next to you. Your mind runs over and over the feeling of his warm hand on your leg and your inner goddess starts sending your mind and heart racing and leaving the space between your legs wet and aching with need. 

I guess this is what I get for sleeping half the day. Ugh.

You try to calm down, telling yourself that you’re going to regret it tomorrow if you don’t get your sleep. And that Jungkook is asleep, so you really shouldn’t be this keyed up anyway, because there’s no way anything could happen with him right now. And that maybe sleeping in the same bed was a bad idea after all. How in the world are you supposed to sleep next to him when your heart can’t slow down and your mind is creating all kinds of scenarios in your head, all of which somehow end up with your body under his?!

But eventually the exhaustion of the day does take over, your body relaxes and your eyelids droop closed. And finally… finally, in the wee hours of the morning, you set sail for dreamland.

When you wake the following morning, your mind grasps at the ephemeral images dissolving like cotton candy in water, desperately trying to remember what you had dreamed about. It had started off bad, you think. But eventually it turned out good. So good you didn’t want to wake up.

But your eyes land on the sleeping form next to you in the bed. His side profile agaisnt the light streaming through the curtains of your room illuminates the contours of his face, his cute bunny nose, his plump lips, the way his hair falls across his forehead.

His face is so unguarded and cutely innocent when he sleeps and it makes you smile. It takes all of your willpower not to reach out and stroke his face, just to see if his skin is as soft as it looks. 

It is.

Your hand reaches out and lightly brushes the hair back into place, leaving the planes of his forehead completely exposed. Damn, he’s beautiful.

But Jungkook rouses slightly at your touch, making you snatch your hand back so fast, you swear you broke the sound barrier. But he doesn’t stop rustling. Trying to find a new comfortable position, he rolls towards you, throwing an arm and leg across your body, and pulling you closer, so he’s draped almost completely on top of you.

You hold your breath. Your brain can’t decide what to do. Do you try to sneak out from under him or just stay still. Your choice is made for you when he continues to roll on you, crushing you with his weight. He may not look it, but he is heavy ! It must be all those muscles.

You shimmy to the side, seeking relief from his weight, but are only successful in rousing the sleeping man draped over you.

Uhn, Tae-yah, what time is it? ” he mumbles.

It’s 6:45, ” you say tightly, glancing at the alarm clock on the side table.

Not hearing the voice he expects, Jungkook slowly draws back and opens one bleary eye to see who he’s holding. It takes him a minute, bless him, to process exactly who he’s holding. But you can see the moment his brain finally completes the circuit, because he stiffens.

You’re not Taehyung, ” he says, sleep still fogging his brain.

No. No I’m not, ” you say. You can’t help but to laugh a little. He looked so helplessly cute, trying to blink away the final fogginess of sleep.

Jungkook finally rolls over, sitting up and scooting back away from you. 

Sorry, Noona! Taehyung sometimes comes in here in the middle of the night and... ” he says, his voice thick and gravelly with sleep.

It’s ok! You were asleep. You didn’t know what you were doing ,” you chuckle nervously.

Jungkook reaches up to stretch and scratch the back of his head, looking more and more awake with each passing minute. You both continue to sit in the bed, watching each other with furtive eyes, until Jungkook says, “ Wait, what time did you say it was?

6:45, why?

Shit ,” he whispers and windmills out of bed in a flurry of sheets, rushing to the dresser and pulling off his shirt as he goes. “ I was supposed to meet with my trainer at 6:30 in the gym! Shit!

Jungkook runs around the room, gathering things and shoving them into a bag. He runs through the door without a backward glance, shirtless, as the slow hiss of the hydraulic door whines out following his departure.

And you think to yourself, That trainer really does deserve a raise for that masterpiece.

 



 

The rest of that day and the next followed a somewhat predictable pattern. Jungkook would wake up early to go workout, then the whole band would go out to do their filming for Run BTS episodes while you worked, usually with Jungkook swinging back around lunchtime to recharge and spend some time with you. 

You really looked forward to the break in your day, knowing you’d get some time together. Because that turned out to be the small amount of time he could see you during the day. Usually their schedule had them going until late at night, with them trying to cram in as much filming and photoshoots as possible on the island, and it was 10:30 or later when Jungkook would drag into the room and crash into bed.

But the time you did spend with Jungkook was spent getting to know each other more and taking every chance to hold each other’s hands. Things seemed to finally be solidifying between you. Still a little shaky, like a newborn foal on ungainly legs, but with each passing moment with each other, things seemed to fall into place, the bonds between you strengthening.

On the second day during your lunch with Jungkook, someone knocked on your door. You were closer to the door, so you hopped up to answer it. 

Hello, Sejin-ssi ,” you say as politely as you can, given that you truly hate this man for how he’s treated you.

Ah, Y/N-ssi. Hello, ” he says with a bow. Well, at least he seems to know your feelings about it.

Come in, ” you raise your arm, gesturing him inside the room. But he shakes his head and continues to stand outside the doorway.

I don’t want to take up much of your time. I just wanted to let you know the schedule for the next few days. Tomorrow, the boys have a half day. We’ve been able to finish up a little ahead of schedule, so Namjoon-ssi has requested personal time for the group after they’re done tomorrow. He also suggested that you might want to accompany them tomorrow, ” Sejin says.

That’s nice. Where are they going tomorrow?

They’re going to dive with the mermaids tomorrow .”

Mermaids ?” 

Is he being serious right now?

Yeah, on Jeju it is traditional for the women to dive for seafood to sell ,” Jungkook chimes in, coming to stand behind you.

Yes. So, if you’d like, you can accompany them under the guise of my assistant. Rest assured, you will not be required to actually help with production whatsoever ,” Sejin said, adding the last part when he saw your face pale at the mention of being a production assistant again. 

So I would do what exactly while they’re filming? ” While you didn’t relish the idea of helping with production again, you also didn’t want to be lazy.

I had wondered if perhaps you would like to do your own diving with the mermaids. Off camera of course. I can arrange it if you’d like. Or you can accompany me throughout the morning, if you’d prefer.

I think I’d like to try diving. Thank you, Sejin-ssi, ” you say, genuinely touched that he seemed to be finally taking your presence in Jungkook and BTS’s lives seriously.

Sejin gives you the details of when to be ready and what to expect during the morning and then bows out of the room.

Jungkook turns to you, his eyes positively sparkling.

Noona, did you bring a swimsuit? ” he asks, his face trying and failing to hide a rising excitement. 

No, I don’t. I don’t suppose the hotel has a shop we could try? ” you grumble, miserably thinking about all your previous shopping ventures since arriving in South Korea.

Huh. I don’t think they do. That’s too bad, ” he says, teasing you and his smile widening every second. 

He’s up to something. Or he knows something… But what is it, you think? You narrow your eyes at Jungkook, which only makes his break into a tittering giggle.

I don’t suppose you know where to find a swimsuit last minute, do you?

As it happens, I do know where you could get one. ” His smile is positively incandescent now, excitement and mischief lighting up every aspect of his features.

Jungkook pulls out his phone and calls someone.

Hyung, can you bring that box over? ” he says briefly before hanging up. 

5 seconds later, there's a knock at the door and Hobi is standing at the door with a beautifully wrapped box in his arms. The box is enormous and almost completely hides the smiling dancer behind it.

Special delivery! ” Hobi sings out, walking into the room with the box to place it on the bed. You and Jungkook follow in his wake.

I can’t wait to see these on you! ” Hobi says excitedly before turning to leave.

Hyung! You ruined it! ” Jungkook whines, following Hobi out of the room and playfully pretending to beat him up. Hobi’s laughter rings out as he leaves, shouting his apologies as the ball of sunshine leaves.

You turn to look at the box. It must be clothes! But you’re a little apprehensive about how on Earth they are going to fit you. You prepare your heart to let him down as gently as possible, thanking him for the gesture instead. It was sweet, after all.

With lips set  in a straight line, you pull the sparkly gold bow off the gift box and lift the lid. Inside, the first thing you see is a tissue wrapped package with a sprig of dried baby’s breath underneath the sticker holding the paper closed. You chance a look at Jungkook who looks like he’s about to burst with happiness, and your lips curl into a smile at his eagerness.

You pull the flower free and smell it. It retains a faint hint of fragrance and you reach out to tuck the flower behind Jungkook’s ear. His rewarding giggle is worth the pain of having to disappoint him in a moment.

Pulling the tissue paper back, you reveal the bodice of the dress from Jiwon’s studio. The one you had lamented over. Your heart starts racing a little. He knew that dress wouldn’t fit you then. So, does this mean what you think it means? Jiwon took your measurements after all. It’s entirely possible that Jungkook had her make some clothes to fit you.

Your lips part with a gasp as you pull the blue dress from the box, seeing that indeed, this dress looks about your size. The crystals catch the light, throwing little rainbows here and there. 

You finally look up at Jungkook, who has been watching your reaction this whole time, his nose scrunched into the most beautiful bunny smile you’ve ever seen. He's giggling in earnest now, seeing your shock.

Words are failing you. You can’t string together a coherent thought. You’re completely blown away by his thoughtfulness and generosity.

Kook… B-but…How… ” you stutter.

I had Jiwon-Noona make a few things I thought you had liked. It’s not a lot, but there’s a couple outfits. And a swimsuit, ” he says with a playful grin.

You turn back to the box, the dress clutched to your chest, looking at the rest of the surprises waiting for you. You drape the dress carefully on the bed next to the box and continue pulling out light and breezy shirts, shorts, skirts in light summery colors, and finally near the bottom, a swimsuit. It’s a one piece, thankfully. And by LA standards, it’s pretty tame. But knowing the South Korean tendency towards female modesty, especially when it comes to chest and shoulders, it’s positively scandalous.

The swimsuit is black with a plunging neckline, and cut outs underneath the cups, almost making it look like it’s a bikini with a high waisted bottom. But it’s connected with a small decorative silver buckle.

Jungkook’s smile and laugh have faltered slightly, seeing the swimsuit out of the box. You can tell by the vacant look on his face, and the plastered smile there, that he’s imagining what that swimsuit is going to look like tomorrow. The thought of wearing this suit in front of him tomorrow gives you butterflies, but then you remember that you’ll also be able to see him in a swimsuit. Silver linings , you guess.

Jungkook clears his throat. “ Uh, do you want to try any of it on? You know, to make sure it fits.

Sure. What should I try first? ” you say, coyly, knowing exactly what he would want to see first.

Uh, um, well maybe the, uh… The s-shirts… ” he stumbles, his cheeks reddening.

You put everything back in the box and carry it to the bathroom. 

Just give me a second.

You shoot him a little sex kitten smile as you retreat into the bathroom. Jungkook’s wide eyes never leave yours as you close the door behind you. You can hear Jungkook groan out in the room and you stifle your laughter.

You pull out a cute linen button up shirt and short combo and finally see a small box of accessories at the bottom. Inside are a few pieces of casual jewelry and some scarves. You send a quick prayer of thanks to Jiwon for sending them, as you know you’ll be needing to hide your soulmark in public from now on.

You still hadn’t brought it up to Jungkook yet. It was still pretty faint, but it was growing darker every day. However, you hadn’t noticed his mark showing up yet. It was entirely possible that you didn’t notice it because of makeup, or because it was covered by his clothes. But with his busy schedule, you hadn’t found the right moment to bring it up yet.

You set the scarves aside and try on the clothes. And surprisingly, they fit you like they were made for you. Which, you realize, they actually were. They were made exactly to your measurements. And Jungkook had arranged the whole thing. You are now a ball of warm fuzzies and you turn back and forth, feeling overcome by the thoughtfulness of the gift.

You exit the bathroom and Jungkook’s appreciative smile could light up the whole room. 

I like that. It looks really beautiful on you! ” He says, rising to circle you, taking in the outfit from all angles.

Thank you. I love it! Really, ” you pause, taking up his hands and getting his attention. “ I really appreciate this gift. You didn’t have to, you know.

I know. But, I wanted to get something for you. For my soulmate, ” he replies, like it was the plainest truth on the planet.

You squeeze his hands before dropping them. Only to throw your arms around his neck and whisper, “ Thank you, ” in his ear, burying your face in his neck.

He’s momentarily stunned by your hug, but soon enough his arms come up to wrap around you and he rests his chin on your head. 

Neither of you speak, instead reveling in the feeling of holding each other, your soul bond flowing fast and free between you, the energy swirling about you the way fast water moves through a channel with no obstacles, fast and smooth. 

 Jungkook draws back with hooded eyes and a contented smile on his face.

You’re welcome, ” he says quietly.

You start wondering in the back of your mind if this moment might evolve into something more, your inner goddess opening one eye in interest. But a knock at the door makes her throw up her hands and roll back over to go to sleep.

Jungkook walks to the door, finding Namjoon on the other side. You sigh. You’re starting to wonder if he has a radar for when you and Kook are having a moment, just so he can interrupt it. 

Kook-ah, it’s time to go. Hey, Noona! You look nice today! ” Namjoon says, shouting his greeting to you from the door.

Alright, give me a minute, Hyung, ” Jungkook answers, closing the door and turning back to you.

Thank you again for the clothes, ” you say before he has a chance to say his goodbyes.

Hey, it was nothing. It’s the least I should do for you, ” he says looking at his feet, a pink flush rising to his cheeks. “ I’ve gotta go. But I’ll see you later, ok?

He pulls you in for another hug and you wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze. 

Hurry back, ” you say, watching him head for the door.

Notes:

Sorry this is a little late. The covid fairy came to my house and I've been trying to deal with the ramifications of that. Now my kids will be home from school for the next few days, which means I will have less time for writing. Sorry!

BUT! What did you think of this chapter? More fluffiness!! Yay! We're in for many more chapters of fluff, so get ready for tooth rotting sweetness for the foreseeable future. Kook is a romantic at heart, after all. ;)

Thank you for your continued readership! Every time I get kudos and comments, it makes me smile. :) So thank you!! This recently broke the 200 kudos mark!! And I am still astonished that anybody reads this, let alone likes it. So, seriously, thank you!! It means a lot.

Ok, no more gushing! I'm going to go plot more ways to torture everyone.... I mean, I'm going to go write some stuff. Yeah. Definitely *not* plotting ways to incorporate some seriously crazy things coming later... Heh heh heh....

Chapter 19

Summary:

In which you go diving, talk with a local, and discover something.

Notes:

If anything is in bold, it is spoken in Korean. If any dialogue isn't bolded, it's in English and intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The next morning, you open your eyes to find your face plastered to Jungkook’s chest. In your sleep, you both somehow ended up cuddling into one another, with Jungkook’s arm tucked around your shoulders. 

You can’t remember waking up more refreshed, more rested and ready to tackle the day. You assume it’s because you probably spent most of the night touching your soulmate. Your deliciously gorgeous soulmate who is still sleeping next to you. It appears that Jungkookie is a snuggle monster at night. And you’re going to complain. Not one bit.

You snuggle back into Jungkook’s side, his arms reflexively tightening around you. A sigh escapes you as you close your eyes, wanting to savor this moment a little longer. And it doesn’t take long for you to doze off, warm and sleepily content in your soulmate’s embrace. 

Your alarm goes off a little while later, rousing both you and the sleeping beauty next to you. He opens his eyes and when he sees you looking up at him, wrapped in his arms, he closes his eyes again with a content smile. Like somehow, he’s just won the lottery and is feeling smug in that knowledge. A rumble of satisfaction vibrates in his chest and he squeezes you a little tighter.

Good morning ,” he mumbles, laying on his back with his eyes closed, a smile still tugging at his lips. 

As much as you’re enjoying the early morning cuddle-fest, you know him well enough from past content like Run BTS, Bon Voyage, and In the Soop, to know that he’ll fall back asleep in a heartbeat if you don’t act soon.

Good morning. Sleep well?

Hmm? ” he voices sleepily.

I said, did you sleep well? ” you tease, poking his arm a bit. 

His response is to grunt and roll over on his side, so you’re face to face. His eyes are still closed, but you can see a smirk betraying him. That sneaky bunny knows exactly what he’s doing. But you can’t fault him for it. You’re enjoying this slice of heaven just as much as he is, even if you heart is starting to race a bit.

‘S too early. Go back to sleep, ” he mumbles, smiling wider as he tries to burrow his face into your shoulder.

But, as cute as he is, you are not about to miss diving with the mermaids today. If you don’t get up soon, you’re going to be late.

Kook, ” you intone sweetly, “ We have to get up so we can go diving.

It doesn’t phase him.

We’re going to be late if we don’t get moving, ” you say, using a bit more edge to your voice.

The sleepy bun refuses to open his eyes, smiling all the wider.

Fine, if I have to play dirty, then so be it.

  I think I’m going to try on that swimsuit now. You know, to make sure it fits, ” you say, putting a little purr into your voice.

Jungkook opens one interested eye to stare at you momentarily, but closes it again, groaning and mumbling something about wanting to dream a little longer, burrowing down into the bed a little farther. 

You’re shocked that doesn’t get the young man out of bed. So you decide that the only way to wake him up is through all out warfare.

You reach up your hand to rest on his waist. The muscles feel like nothing short of velvet wrapped steel under your hands. You gently rub up and down, and smile when a moan of enjoyment escapes him. 

And when you’re completely sure he’s enjoying it, you strike.

Your fingers curl into him, tickling him with frenzied determination, grasping and digging into his side. His eyes fly open as he lets out a cry of surprise. You’re full on cackling with devilish delight watching him squirm under your ministrations. 

He’s laughing breathlessly, trying to roll this way and that to escape, but you leave him no quarter. You rise up on your knees to double down on your attack, bringing your other hand up to join the fray. Jungkook laughter rings out as he thrashes in the bed, flailing and rolling. But you follow him at every turn, literally having the upper hand on this attack. 

But suddenly you find yourself on your back, flipped over onto the other side of the bed, with Jungkook trapping you between his legs, his hands trapping your wrists on either side of your head. You look up at him, shock and surprise registering on your face as you see him looking down at you, laughing in his victory.

That is, until he realizes the position he’s put you in. 

The playful atmosphere from mere seconds before gives way to a heated exchange as you both freeze, taking in the moment. Your inner goddess comes roaring on the scene, practically screaming for all hands on deck! This is the moment people! All he’s gotta do is lean down and close the gap to start the tongue tango!

But the thought of his lips on yours makes you trap your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to banish the burning sensation that imagining his lips on yours has created. Kook’s eyes dip to your mouth, and his eyes shutter, a dark desire showing behind his normal sweetly innocent gaze.

But he closes his eyes and releases you, sitting up and making to get off the bed, demonstrating a self restraint that you wish he didn’t have in him. 

But your inner goddess isn’t having it. 

No. Not today!

You sit up and reach out a hand to stop him. 

Wait.” 

Your voice is small and timid and your breath starts to come faster as your heart rate ratchets up.

He says nothing, but halts under your touch, pausing in a half stretched out position. His unfaltering observation of you makes you squirm, feeling the depths of his notice. It seems to tell you that he’s not making the first move. Not yet any way. He’s either too shy or his stupid sense of chilvarly is getting the better of him.

So you decide to make the move instead. 

You lean in, resting your weight on one hand as you close the distance between you. Not too fast, but not slow either. You want to give him the opportunity to pull back if he’s really opposed to this step.

He looks both nervous and desperate as you lean in. 

You close your eyes, wanting to focus solely on the feeling of his lips on yours.

But your trajectory is interrupted by pounding on your door, sending your lips to his neck instead. 

You let out a huff as your face ends up cradled under his jawline, the cords of his neck standing out in extreme effort. His Adam's apple bobs up and down, as your lips continue to make contact there. So you figure you should at least take advantage of the moment and press a long kiss into his neck. 

Your mouth is working open and closed on the skin there, gently sucking his skin between your lips. Not hard enough to leave any kind of marks, but definitely enough so that you know he feels it. His neck tenses further under your lips and a strangled sigh rises up from his throat under your touch. 

His hands reach up to hold your head gingerly, tangling his fingers in your hair. And it seems like you might get a second chance at this and you slowly continue to press kisses up and down his neck. Jungkook begins to writhe, not being able to decide if he wants to pull you closer or pull you away.

But the pounding commences again, but this time it’s accompanied by the voice of Namjoon yelling through the door. You both freeze.

Yah, Jeon Jungkook! We have to go!

You hear the sound of the electric lock disengaging and the door opening and you both spring apart, like you’ve both touched a live wire. Namjoon walks into the room, looking at his phone as he strides in. When he looks up, he stops short, sensing the atmosphere of the room. Something like anger and jealousy flicker across his face before he schools his expression into a tight, flustered exasperation.

I’m sorry, Noona. But we’ve gotta get going soon. Did you guys not get the memo that our call time was changed to earlier because of the tide? ” Namjoon says, holding out his phone to show you the note from Sejin.

I didn’t… ” you say lamely, pulling your phone off the bedside table.

How come you only apologized to Noona? ” Jungkook grumbles under his breath as he is also looking at his phone.

Can you be ready to go in 5 minutes? ” Namjoon huffs, arms folding tightly in front of him and his jaw jutting out.

Yes, we’ll be ready. You can go now, ” Jungkook says, irritated.

Namjoon nods before turning to leave, his gaze lingering on you as he exits. 

As soon as the door closes behind him, you both spring out of bed and gather the things you’ll need for the day. You head to the bathroom to change and put the swimsuit on underneath some of your new clothes and walk out with one minute to spare, braiding your hair away from your face. 

Namjoon is waiting in the hallway for you both to escort you down to the waiting vans. It’s a long silent walk. There’s some tension brewing and you hate that you may be caught in the middle of it.

 

***

 

The van ride over to the diving location is pretty quiet as it’s still early and most of the members seem to be catching a few extra minutes of sleep. 

And no wonder with how busy they’ve been since you’ve arrived.

When the vans pull up to the location, there’s a flurry of activity. Everyone fans out and the production team goes over the agenda for the day, while you’re dismissed and escorted over to your own personal diver for the morning. You’re careful not to draw too much attention to yourself as you leave, but you manage to sneak little finger hearts to Kook as you walk away. 

His dazzling smile and scrunched nose tell you everything he can’t say or show you right now with all these people milling around.

Your guide is a smiling woman in her late sixties who you can tell takes great pride in her craft. She takes her time explaining her techniques to you, the ins and outs of the free diving process, before helping you get your wetsuit on. Because you’re a novice diver, you won’t be going very deep today, which makes you feel a little less nervous about the morning’s excursion.

She tells you to call her Halmoni and takes you out into chest deep water to start. The current isn’t too strong there, being in a small sheltered cove, and the diving is easy, even if the pickings are slim. She explains it’s because birds are able to get most of the shellfish before they can grow big enough at this depth, but you do manage to find a few things hidden here and there.

Your sense of accomplishment in this is only fed by the joyous face of Halmoni every time you bring your catch to put into the floating basket. She praises you, all the while pushing you to try to go longer, to dive a little deeper. You can feel her loving, watchful presence as you perform each dive, the older woman swimming with you every step of the way. 

She tries to teach you the breathing technique that ends with a whistle as you come up for air, one of the traditional ways of communicating with the other divers around. She explains that in addition to letting others know where you are, it also helps to regulate your breathing, allowing you to hold your breath longer. 

You think you’re getting the hang of the whistling sound, but she just laughs good naturedly, saying it’ll take years of practice to get it just right.

You spend the morning moving both down and up, down and up. All the while being pushed side to side by the current and waves. The repetition begins to feel like a sort of meditation, focusing you on your task. 

When you’re under the water, the blanket of muffled sound empties your mind of everything, but that moment, forcing you to be completely and fully present. Your thoughts only go as far as watching the bubbles rise as you descend, looking for the telltale spines, then rising in tandem with your bubbles, exhaling as you rise. 

The peace that the ocean settles on your shoulders is engulfing, and seeps bone deep. Time ceases, allowing you to focus solely on the repetition of dive, hunt, rise, repeat.

By the time you have filled up your floating basket, you are holding your breath much longer and going much deeper than when you started and you feel pride in your improvement. You’re no mermaid yet, but you feel that you did well all the same.

Maybe you should move here and become Haenyeo! ” she says smiling and hauling your basket behind her as you both swim towards shore. You’re exhausted after you morning commune with the sea and thankfully allow Halmoni to shoulder that burden for you.

You shake your head, laughing, knowing that even though you enjoyed the peace you felt this morning, it is not the life fated for you. 

Back on shore, she brings your haul to a round fire pit to shuck and sort your catch. At this time of year, it’s mostly sea urchins, but you’ve found one lone abalone. Halmoni praises you for this, saying it’s a rare find and that you must have the favor of the sea gods.

You shuck the abalone and to your surprise, it has a beautiful technicolor pearl inside. The color is swirls of pink, deep blue, turquoise, but the predominant color is varying shades of purple, all with an almost metallic luster. It’s about the size and shape of a large shark’s tooth, but beautiful in it’s uniqueness. You never knew pearls could be anything but round.

When Halmoni comes over to see what you’re staring at, she gasps.

That is a good omen! You really are blessed by the sea gods! ” she exclaims, fussing over the pearl in your hand.

Really? Is this rare? ” you ask.

Of course! And on your first dive too! Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay? ” she wheedles.

You shake your head again and finger the beautiful pearl in your hand.

You know, they say that if you find a pearl in an abalone, it is a blessing from the sea god. And if you give that pearl to the one you love, they’ll be loyal to you forever, ” she adds.

Really? ” you say, inspecting the pearl even closer. It could be your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear some of the purple swirling looks almost reminiscent of the BTS logo. But this has to be your mind reaching for meaning, right?

But even Halmoni seems to see it.

Oh! Look at that! It looks like that logo. You know, for those boys! ” Halmoni says before humming the tune to Butter and swinging her hips and shoulders in dance. 

You laugh and clutch the pearl to your chest as she continues to sing in heavily accented English, dancing and laughing and singing. Her joy is so infectious that you can’t help but to jump up and join her, singing and dancing along with her.

You’re so caught up in your impromptu performance that you don’t notice the group of men gathering around you. They quietly watch you dance and sing, until you get to the next chorus, when Hobi and Tae jump in to dance and sing with you and Hamoni. She takes it all in stride and accepts her new dance partners with gracious welcome. 

You’re all laughing and smiling by the time you finish the song, breathless with happiness. 

Halmoni! You’re amazing! You should come on tour with us! ” Tae crows, clapping for the older woman. She just laughs and demurs trying to get out of the spotlight. 

Jungkook slowly works his way over to your side while the rest of the boys fawn over Halmoni. She secretly looks like she’s loving every minute of it and it makes you smile.

It looks like you had fun today. Did you catch anything interesting? ” 

You immediately clutch the pearl in your hand a little tighter, but hiding it behind your back. You want the pearl to be a surprise later.

No. Just a bunch of urchins and seaweed. You?

I didn’t find a lot. Jin-hyung kept getting distracted by the fish, Jimin-ssi found an old tuna can, and Namjoon-hyung broke the basket of everything I had caught and it floated away.

Oh no! Namjoon!

Namjoon?! What about me?! Because of him I have to do the penalty because I caught the least! ” Jungkook says in mock outrage.

Oh no! ” You moan, laughing. “ What’s the penalty? Do you have to wear hanbok somewhere?

Worse, ” he mutters.

What is it?!

I have to give a book report! ” he says in despair.

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you. “ Well, maybe I can read the book to you? Maybe that will help. I mean, that is what I do for a living after all!

He straightens up and looks at you like you’ve just saved his life.

Really, Noona?! Seriously?! Oh, that would be amazing! Thank you! ” he says and makes a move to hug you. But being aware of the people around you, he checks himself and raises prayer hands to you in gratitude.

Absolutely! Just tell me the book and we’ll start reading it together.

A moment later, the production team makes an announcement that filming is done for the day and that everyone is free to go. The staff members quickly scurry away, excited to have an afternoon free on Jeju. And once most everyone has gone, the boys gather around.

So, what’s everyone going to do today?” Jin asks.

The 95ers say they want to go to the beach and beg Hobi to come with them. He finally relents, being unable to resist the requests of V-min. Suga wants to go back to the hotel to nap and Jin says he’ll join him so he can play some video games. And then everyone looks at Namjoon, Jungkook and you. 

I have an errand I need to run but I can join you guys later, ” you say. You want to head into town to find a jeweler to make something for Jungkook.

I’ll come with you! ” Jungkook pipes up.

No! ” you shout. “ I mean, you should get some time with the guys! I’ll only be a few minutes and it’s something I’d like to do on my own, ” you interject, doing your best to dissuade him.

You can’t go anywhere by yourself here, Noona. It’s not safe, ” Namjoon warns with a concerned face.

I’ll be fine! It’s not like I’m famous, ” you say.

Still… ” Namjoon doesn’t look convinced and neither does Jungkook. 

Fine. If it would make you feel better, I can bring a bodyguard with me. Seriously, it won’t take long. I promise! Jungkook, go, have fun with Hobi, Jimin, and Tae!

Jungkook looks disappointed that you don’t want him with you, and part of you wants to spill the beans on the surprise and bring him with you. But you just can’t do it.

He finally relents and the 95ers look so happy that he’ll be joining them, that it makes you wonder if it’s because you won't be there too. 

Namjoon arranges for a bodyguard to drive you into town and decides to follow Suga and Jin back to the hotel to read and relax.

Most of the guys head off to their respective activities, but Jungkook and Namjoon linger, though, waiting for you and you suddenly self conscious about stripping off the wetsuit in front of them. That thing is tight and your swimsuit, while beautiful, seems like it’s just aching to give you a nip slip.

Uh, can I have a minute, guys? I need to get changed.

Oh, yes. Sorry Noona! ” Jungkook says and drags Namjoon behind a large rock formation near the firepit. 

When you’re sure they can’t see you anymore, you peel the saturated fabric away from your body. And wouldn’t you know it? Your instincts about your traitorous suit were correct. You’re pretty sure no one saw, so you adjust and throw your clothes on over your wet swimsuit.

Once you’re dressed and gathering your belongings, Halmoni wanders back over to you.

That one, he’s your love? ” She says, gesturing to her arm. You guess she’s trying to mimic Jungkook’s tattoos and you blush.

Yeah. He is.

Give him the pearl, ” she says and nods sagely to you before walking away. 

You shake your head at the old woman’s keen perception. And you wonder if maybe you’re not hiding your bond with Jungkook as well as you think.

As you head back towards where the car will pick you up, a flash of light catches your eye. You look down and notice a shiny piece of silver sticking out of the sand. You reach down and pull out what looks to be a double hoop earring with a red slash engraved into it.

You immediately recognize it as Jimin’s earring that he designed a few months earlier. He treasures those earrings, as he made them for ARMY and loved the idea that somewhere in the world, people are wearing his earrings at the same time as him.

You tuck it into your pocket as you walk to the car, figuring you'll give it to him later. You’re met by a friendly looking man in his forties holding your door open for you, and once you’re settled in the car, he turns to ask, “ Where to, miss?

Is there a good custom jeweler on the island? I’d like to get this pearl set as a gift for someone, ” you say, thinking about setting the unique pearl into something Jungkook could wear as a token of your bond.

The driver/guard nods emphatically and turns to put the car in gear. It takes about 30 minutes to get there, as the jeweler is on the opposite side of the island. You’re very surprised when the car stops in front of a very unassuming looking residence. There’s no sign or indication that there’s a jewelry store here and you wonder if perhaps you used the wrong word when explaining earlier.

But the guard guides you around the side of the building and you’re escorted into a beautiful courtyard set behind the building. There’s lush greenery, plants of varying colors and sizes, all planted and maintained with a beautiful symmetry that takes your breath away. 

You pull out your phone to snap some pictures and the guard smiles knowingly, guiding you further through a maze of larger bushes and trees. You turn a bend and end up in front of a small outbuilding.The walls are all white and the asymmetrical roof sits atop walls that are made almost entirely of windows. The modern architecture extends into what you can see of the inside of the structure. A simple, minimalist work bench is littered with tools and microscopes. And a single woman sits at the desk, delicately hammering a piece of metal around a large piece of polished coral. 

Your guard escorts you through the door and calls out to the woman in a familiar way. The woman rises and greets your guard with a hug and the friendly banter of family meeting after a long absence.

Miss, this is my sister, Geum Eunju. She is Jeju’s finest jeweler! ” he says with pride bursting from his chest. Eunju swats at his arm and tries to shush her brother.

Oh hush, oppa! Ignore him. It’s nice to meet you. How can I help you?

It’s nice to meet you Eunju-ssi. I was looking to get this pearl made into a gift for my, uh, friend, ” you finish lamely, holding the pearl out.

She picks the precious stone up from your hand and turns it over in the light, assessing it.

Ah, this is a beautiful pearl! Where did you find it?

I actually found it today while diving with the haenyo this morning.

Really! That’s a good omen for lovers! ” she says, echoing Halmoni’s words from earlier. 

So I’ve heard. My diving guide told me if I gave it to my lover, then it would be a blessing from the god of the sea.

Indeed. ” She nods sagely and then goes quiet. You can see the wheels turning in her head, trying to determine the best way to feature the stone. 

What were you wanting to make with this? ” She looks at you, a sparkle of interest lighting her eyes. “ Unfortunately, Abalone pearls tend to be on the more brittle side, so something that won’t take a lot of abuse would be best. Rings are out. Bracelets too, but maybe a necklace? Earrings? What do you think?

“I think a necklace might be best. A simple chain? Could we feature this small coloration on the front face? I think it looks really cool, ” you say, indicating the small BTS logo-esque pattern.

Of course! Let me draw up some designs and maybe I can get this done in a few weeks… ” Eunju mutters. She turns to head back to her studio, but you reach out to stop her.

“Actually, I need this done by tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be overly ornate. Infact, the more simple, the better. But I’m leaving tomorrow in the afternoon and I don’t know when I’ll be back. I will pay whatever it takes to rush this, ” you say with absolute confidence, thinking of the black credit card sitting in your wallet.

Are you sure?I could probably get a relatively simple design done in time. But It won’t be cheap, ” she says, eyeing your stringy, tangled hair and slightly damp rumpled clothes with doubt.

Positive.

She gestures towards the modern building and ushers you into the studio and sits you at the workbench. You can see several pieces she’s either working on or finished and all of them are breathtaking. They all have a unique vibe of their own, but as a collection, you can see the common themes linking them all together. 

Instead of talking about what you wanted to design, she asks questions about Jungkook. Questions like, what's he like? Does he drink coffee or tea? What’s his favorite color? Is he introverted or extroverted? What music does he listen to? 

You wonder why on Earth she’s asking questions about your soulmate instead of talking about the design elements you’d like to incorporate. Isn’t that more important right now? 

You start to worry that you won’t be able to answer all her questions about him, as the questions become increasingly more personal. You’ve only known him a few weeks at this point, and only getting over your initial skittishness of each other in the last few days.

But to your surprise, the answers come to you fairly easily. You’ve gotten to know Jungkook fairly well, simply by observing him since you’ve moved in, watching him move about his normal routine. And since the hospital confessions, the awkward walrus that lumbered between you, preventing you from getting too close or attempting to get to know one another, seemed to have moved away, allowing you both to feel more comfortable with each other. 

Your smile grows with each question she asks. You’re positively glowing by the end of the design process, feeling like a school girl talking about her crush. She nods her head, listening, noting things down and starts to sketch a few ideas. 

By the time she’s done, you’re astounded. The design is so JK, that you’re floored. You never mentioned his name or who he is, but she’s absolutely nailed his personal style, and her earlier questions don’t seem so silly to you now.

It’s a fairly simple design, with white gold melted around the pearl, setting it in place with the narrow end pointing down. The gold will be molded and shaped to look a bit like water in zero gravity flowing over and around the pearl, holding it securely into place, while also highlighting the naturally created logo and incredible purple color of the pearl. 

The loop of the pendant where it attaches to the chain will hold both your birthstones, side by side at the top. The chain is a simple, white gold rope chain that will be long enough for him to wear under most shirts, so he can wear it often without the pendant actually showing, if that’s what he needs. 

Eunju promises that it will be done in time as she ushers you towards the front, saying that she needs to get started right away if she’s going to have it finished in time. Your bodyguard, who had been sitting on a nearby sofa, sipping tea and reading a magazine, hops up and leads you out to the car. 

The sun is starting to set by now and you finally think to check your phone on the drive home. 

How long was I in there? I’ll bet Jungkook is wondering where I’ve gone.

Sure enough, you have a few missed texts.

 

JK: Noona, let me know when you’re done.  

JK: I miss you. What time will you be back?

JK: Is it ok that I said I miss you?

 

You start to compose a reply to him, when a text pops up in the group chat.

Joon: What’s everyone’s plans for dinner?

Jin: Crab legs!! Hahahaha!!!!!

Joon: Eww, no. Gross.

Suga: I’m good with whatever. As long as there’s meat.

Tae: I don’t know if Jimin and I will be joining. We might be going back to the beach to look for his earring, even though I’ve told him the chances of us finding it are practically zero.

Jimin: Hey! You never know! Someone might’ve turned it in!

Suga: Turned it in where? There’s no front desk at the beach, idiot.

Jimin: You know what those earrings mean to me! They were the sample pair!! I can’t get those back! Plus, I had a diamonds set into mine

Jimin: And you know how hard army fought for those!! I’m devastated that we can’t wear our special earrings together now!!

You: Whoa! Jimin! Calm down! I have your earring!

Jimin: WHAT?!

Tae: ?!!!!!

You: I found it on the beach after you guys left. I was going to give it back to you when I got back. Which should be in about 15 minutes or so.

Jimin: REALLY?!?! OH THANK YOU NOONA!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

JK: Thanks Noona!! Where’d you go today?

You: Of course, Jimin! 

You: Just here and there, Kookie.

Jin: Kookie?

Namjoon: Can we please talk about dinner now, I’m starving!

Hobi: There’s this really great crab house down the way!

Namjoon: I SAID NO SEAFOOD!! Ugh!

Jin: I’m sorry, but… KOOKIE?!

Hobi: I was kidding Joon-ah!! What about sushi though?

You: I love sushi!! That has my vote!

JK: Mine too!

Jin: Why is everyone ignoring me?! Yah! I’m your elder!!

Suga: Because no one cares, hyung. Sushi sounds good.

Tae: Jimin and I are down for sushi too.

Jin: Wow. The disrespect.

Namjoon: Ok, I’ll find a place and get it cleared for the night. Everyone be ready to go in about an hour?

JK: Is that enough time for you, Noona?

You: Yes. I’ll be there soon. And it’s not like I need to go full glam, right?

JK: Definitely not. See you soon!

You: Oh, and Kookie, I missed you too. <3

Hobi: Awwwww!!!!!! OMG! So cute!!

Jin: Isn’t this a bit much?

Jimin: Hush, Jin. It’s adorable.

Tae: Yeah! Adorable!  

Suga: Ok, I’m ignoring all of you now.

 

You set the phone down laughing, sitting peacefully in the car as you continue the trip back to the resort.

When you get back to the room, you find it empty. Jungkook’s probably with the rest of the maknae line , you think. You shoot Jungkook a text to let him know you’re back. You grab your clothes before hopping into the shower to wash off the stickiness from the ocean that’s clung to your skin all afternoon. 

You hear the tell tale thunk of the door opening and closing a moment later. 

Eager little bunny. 

“Noona! Can you be ready in about 30 minutes?” Jungkook’s voice calls from outside the bathroom door.

“Yes! I’ll be done soon!” you call back.

You rush through your shower. Partially because you don’t want to be late for dinner. But partially because you’re excited to see your soulmate again after spending the whole afternoon gushing about him. 

You dry your hair and finish your makeup before sliding on the dress. 

The one that Jiwon made. 

The one that Jungkook had made for you.

You quietly squeal in delight and excitement, seeing it hang perfectly on your frame. You figure it rides that balance between dressy and casual so it could go either way. 

But mostly, you want to see Jungkook’s reaction to seeing it on you.

To your surprise, the buttons up the front are purely decorative, which means it needs to be zipped up the back. You try and try to get it done, but your arms are just not that flexible. Huffing in frustration, you decide to seek Jungkook’s assistance. 

You’ve done your hair so that your neck is on full display and your eyes once again land on your darkening soulmark in the mirror before leaving, making you pause. 

Today it seems so much darker. 

Noticeable. Very noticeable. 

And you figure it’s probably time to bring it up. 

So taking a deep breath for courage, you step out of the bathroom, saying, “ Can I get some help?

Jungkook, who was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at his phone, looks up at you. And it’s like time stops for a moment. His eyes travel the length of your body, his mouth falling open slightly. The way you can see how his eyes linger on the curves of your body makes heat rise to your cheeks. 

I can’t quite get the zipper done up, ” you say, turning around to show him your partially exposed back. You look over your shoulder coquettishly, and he springs up from the bed, eager to help.

His hands on your waist are as light as a butterfly lighting opon a flower. His fingers drag slowly towards the zipper and the heat and tension in your neck and face suddenly plummets lower, settling between your legs and growing tight and uncomfortable. Your arousal becomes difficult to contain as he finally grasps the zipper and slowly inches it up.

Your body is as tight as a spring by the time he finally reaches the top. It isn’t helped by the fact that his hands are lingering on waist and shoulder. He leans in and says in a rumbling whisper, “ All done.

Seems like you weren’t the only one affected.

You turn around with a smile on your lips.

“Thank you.”

His eyes take in your face and a small flicker of desperation shines through him as his eyes travel down to your lips, and then dipping a little farther down. 

And you can see the moment he sees it. Sees the growing, darkening mark on your neck.

And his face scrunches into a look of adorable confusion.

What’s that? ” he asks, as if he isn’t sure he wants to know the answer.

I think... it’s my soul mark. I’ve been meaning to mention it, but we’ve been so busy…

Are you sure? ” he says, his mood shifting to something tense and unreadable. He takes a step back.

Fairly sure. I mean, I’ve never seen this before and it’s growing darker. Haven’t you noticed yours yet? ” You take a step towards him and reach for his collar, hoping to see the twin to your mark growing there.

But he takes a step back. 

And the blood freezes in your veins.

No. I don’t have mine yet.

Notes:

Dun dun DUN!!! Kook doesn't have his soulmark?! GASP! Hahahaha! Wherever will this lead us?

But seriously, I loved writing this chapter. I have had it more or less set in my head since the beginning. There are a few key scenes in the book that haven't changed much at all and this is one of them. With the little addition of Jimin's earrings from the recent merch drops. Did anyone actually managed get some merch? It was brutal.

Also in this chapter, I talk about the Haenyo of Jeju. They are beautifully strong and incredibly interesting women and I highly recommend reading and learning more about them. I did a little bit of research and hearing their stories were so amazing.

I had so much fun writing that text exchange. I'm not gonna lie, my little OT7 wrecked heart loves when I get to have OT7 interactions. *sigh* What did you think? More OT7 text threads in the future?

But you better hold onto your bonnets, because shit's about to start ramping up! I think we've officially crossed over the halfway mark of the story!

Oh, and did you know that I wrote a smutty oneshot the other day? It's a Namseok pairing, so if that tickles your fancy, I'd truly appreciate you giving it a read and leaving any feedback you might have. ;)

Thank you so much for your continued readership! (I see you repeat commenters!! And I send you my undying love!)

Chapter 20

Summary:

In which you talk and head to the airport.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



JK POV

What do you mean you don’t have yours? Soul marks show up at the same time, right? They’re supposed to be in the same place, right? I just… I don’t understand…” Noona trails off, fear starting to mar her face.

That’s what I thought, but I don’t have one,” Jungkook replies, confusion wrinkling his brow. 

I don’t understand… How does she have one?

Well, maybe you just haven’t noticed it yet. Can I look?” she asks with a trembling voice, raising her hand raised in askance.

Jungkook pauses. He doesn’t want her to look. Doesn’t want her to see that there’s nothing there. Guilt and shame and confusion all tumble around inside his head. 

Why isn’t my mark showing up?!

Her eyes are shining with hurt. Hurt at his unwillingness to let her touch him. She moves to lower her hand, jerking him out of his head. He doesn’t want to hurt Noona. Doesn’t want to make this discovery even worse. So he nods his head, giving her the consent to check his neck.

Her fingers are trembling as they gently pull the fabric away from his neck, revealing the long lines of his neck, completely devoid of anything except for one little freckle.

Her shaking hand drops from his collar, the muscle tone completely leaving her arm and she steps away from him. Jungkook watches on as her eyes dart around and her chest rises and falls rapidly. She keeps moving backwards, as if she’s trying to escape the reality of the situation, even as it hits her. 

It’s not there.

He doesn’t have a soul mark. 

But why? They’re always in the same place. Always showing up at the same time! So how is it possible that she has her mark and he does not? Does this mean something is wrong with their bond? Is there something wrong with him? What if all of this is just in his head? His mind creating connections, when in actuality, there was nothing there to begin with?

Jungkook’s mind is spiraling, until a particularly nasty thought stops him in his tracks.

What if it’s someone else? 

What if it’s Namjoon?

Jungkook’s heart revolts at the very thought of another man touching her, being with her. She’s his! Not someone else’s!

But a scared part of his mind can’t completely banish the thought either.  And it feels like Namjoon is always hovering, just on the periphery of every moment he can think of. 

A wounded, feral part of him replays every touch, every lingering look that his leader and his supposed soulmate have shared. And he sees red. Have they been secretly meeting behind his back? It does seem like every time he and Noona would even come close to kissing, Joon was there. Just waiting to interrupt. Waiting to ruin everything.

He closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh through his nose, trying to clear the fog that is creeping into his head. There has to be an explanation for this. 

There has to be. 

And when his soulmate finally speaks, Jungkook opens his eyes.

I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.

She looks as doubtful as Jungkook feels and it only serves to confirm his worst fears. 

He has to know. He has to confront her.

Are you sure it’s me?” Jungkook says, trying to keep a tight rein on his anger.

What? What do you mean?” Her brows wrinkle.

Are you sure I’m your soulmate?

What are you saying? Of course you are!

She tries to reach out, complete shock draining the color from her face. Is it because they’ve been caught?  

Jungkook's bitter thoughts finally get the better of him and he unloads on her.

You sure? You sure you’re not sneaking around with Namjoon behind my back?” he says, simmering.

I’m sorry, what?! You think I’m sneaking around with Namjoon? First of all, how dare you. And second of all, when?! When would Namjoon and I have time to see each other, when I can barely see you?!” she fires, angry tears starting to well in her eyes.

I don’t know! Maybe the reason we barely see each other is because you’re already filling your time with Namjoon!” Jungkook’s voice starts to raise. He’s clawing for the internal strength not to yell, but he just can’t help it.

That is complete and utter nonsense. I am not sneaking around with Namjoon. But I’m glad you think so highly of me,” she says with a joyless laugh. 

Jungkook winces a little at the barb. 

She puts her hands on her hips and stares at her feet, seeming to be gathering steam.

You know how I know you’re my soulmate, Kook?” she says, her voice cracking with emotion. She raises her head and pins Jungkook with a stare that could liquify even the strongest man’s resolve. Jungkook gulps.

Because of this.

She reaches out her hand and places it on his face, cupping his cheek. She looks mad as hell. Like she could chew through solid steel, as hot, angry tears track down her cheeks. 

But her touch is soft and gentle. She drags her thumb back and forth, leaving familiar trails of oozing energy in its wake.

And he’s reminded of that sweet, zinging sensation like a punch to the gut. The melting, swirling happiness that wraps around him, and makes him feel safe and warm. 

And he feels like shit for forgetting. Like a shitty forgetful idiot who let jealousy cloud his rational brain.

He sags into her touch, the ridiculous specter of his hyung dissipating like dust on the wind. 

Because every time I touch you, it feels like home,” she says gently, her sharpness giving way to tenderness. 

She looks up into Jungkook’s eyes, seeking to reiterate her point. And Jungkook swears time stands still. The world stops for a moment and he gets lost in her eyes. Her beautiful, sparkling eyes. He finds himself drawn in, like a moth to a flame, leaning in at the same time she reaches up on her tiptoes. And he holds his breath, waiting for the inevitable interruption that he’s sure is coming.

Only it doesn’t come.

And when their lips do meet, it’s like time slams back into motion, and Jungkook is blown away by the sensation. 

He swears it is magic. The feeling of their lips pressing together. The energy pouring from her lips, lighting his every nerve like fireworks on New Years Eve.

She gasps under his touch, feeling the same onslaught of electrical rush. It’s like a dam has burst and is flooding through him, filling him to the point of bursting. He feels so buzzed, he could run a marathon and keep going. He feels invincible! Like no one in the world could touch him! 

No one, except her.

And it makes him feel bold.

Taking advantage of the moment, he wraps his arms around her shoulders and waist, crushing her to him, desperately trying to get more, to take more of that feeling of fullness. 

More of her. 

And she opens in response to him, timidly slipping her tongue across his lips. It’s all the invitation Jungkook needs. He groans at the feel of her in his hands, so soft and willing under him. He pushes her to the wall, trapping her in his arms. 

He plunges his tongue into her mouth, chasing after her. Tasting and probing. Deepening the kiss. And he feels like his whole body is on fire. The want of her consuming him and threatening to overwhelm him. 

But instead of shying away from the overwhelming stimulation, he leans into it. Chasing it. Trying to catch it in his hands and keep it forever.

Her hands roam over his body in response, stroking and grasping whatever they find. It stokes the fire inside him, building between his legs. Fingers make their way into his hair, hands fisting his locks and pulling. Jungkook swears he could cum right then and there. 

But he pushes past it as he groans into her mouth and attacks her lips with renewed vigor. He slots his leg between her thighs and presses into her core, allowing her to grind against him, taking her own pleasure.

Oh, God, she’s so perfect… he thinks, as she continues to ride his leg, moaning from the friction. He can feel her desire. Feel how hot and wet she is through the fabric of his pant leg. She’s working herself into a frenzy, keening and moaning higher and louder with each rock of her hips. And Jungkook smirks into her mouth, knowing he is the reason for it.

He feels so happy in that moment, that he can't even remember why they argued in the first place. But if this is what happens every time they fight, he’ll happily pick fights with her every day.

His soulmate pulls her lips back, coming up for air, and he takes the opportunity to continue worshiping her skin with his mouth and tongue, tracing lines of kisses across her neck and shoulders.

Jungkook?” she moans, running fingers through his hair and down his back.

Mmmm?” he replies, only half interested in what she has to say. He is focused on tasting every inch of her and wonders why he wasted so much time? He should’ve been doing this since the day they touched. Should have been worshiping her body with his and reveling in their connection every day.

Maybe we should skip dinner,” she whispers, her hands tracing their way to his hips and resting there, an invitation sparkling in her eyes.

And thoughts of having her stretched out beneath him as his hips snap forward, images of her lips wrapped around him as he cums, thoughts of railing her all night long as he cups her breasts, all flash through his mind, making him even more painfully hard.

But as much as he wants to give in and finally break through the last barriers to their relationship, he knows they shouldn’t. Not yet, anyway. If he makes his brothers wait too much longer, they’ll probably send Namjoon to come looking for them. And he didn’t particularly want this moment to be interrupted by Cock Block McHyung.

Panting, he pulls back with a grimace.

We should probably stop… I- I don’t think I will be able to stop if we keep this up much longer…” he pants, resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes with the effort to hold himself back from plunging back into her.

She laughs weakly and nods. Part of him wants to say screw his bandmates and throw her down on the bed and not leave until morning. But part of him knows he can’t do that to them, even if he is smugly satisfied that she’s disappointed, too. 

She lets go of his hips, stepping away, putting distance between them. And the loss of contact feels like plunging into a pool of ice cold water. The shock of it makes him want to pick her up and never let go, just to be able to feel that warmth and energy forever. 

But if he touches her again, his self control will fly right out the window, right alongside the ability to look his hyungs in the face and tell them why they couldn’t make it to dinner.

She smiles at him and he can feel a goofy smile plastered to his face too. 

We kissed! Finally!

But thinking about it doesn’t help the throbbing problem between his legs get any better though. He tries to think of anything else that will help him calm down. Placid lakes… buddhist monks… deserted frozen wastelands…

But he’s saved the trouble of having to focus on it when he sees her face fall, worry replacing any horniness he had been feeling.

My make up!” she groans and runs to the bathroom.

Jungkook can’t help the giggle that escapes him as he watches his soulmate dart into the bathroom. 

And shaking his head, he moves to follow her.

 

Your POV

 

Oh my god, I look like a drowned raccoon.

You look at your watery, black ringed eyes and wince. There’s no helping it, you’re going to have to take off your makeup and do it again.

You plunge your hands into hot running water, wetting the face cloth and begin swiping at your face. The heat of the water reminds you of the warmth of the previous moment and you flush again at the memory. 

Memories of Jungkook’s large hands on you… His lips on yours… His thigh pressed against your core as you almost rode your way to a full blow orgasm… It was, no doubt, the hottest first kiss you’d ever had and your inner goddess is beating your overthinking self over the head for bringing up the dinner and putting the brakes on what was shaping up to be one of the best nights of your life. But you know she’s been partially satisfied, at least.

You pat your face dry and see Jungkook leaning in the doorway, looking so casually fuckable, it’s criminal. You bite your lip to stifle a groan.

Want some help?” he asks, smiling.

With my makeup?

Uh, yeah? I think I know a thing or two about it by now.

Well, he has been an idol for over 9 years at this point. It only makes sense that he’s picked some things up along the way, but it still surprises you nonetheless. 

He picks up your makeup bag and clucks his tongue, being a little disappointed by what he finds there.

I’ll have to get you some better stuff, but I think I can make this work,” he says smugly, dumping everything out.

And you watch as he transforms your face into a work of art. In less than 5 minutes. How the hell did he do that?! You’re too stunned by the simple, but truly beautiful look he’s created for you that you’re stunned speechless.

All done. Ready to go?” he asks. He’d been so focused on his task that he looks up at you with innocent, wide doe eyes, and you shake your head in shock. How could he create this masterpiece of a subtle smokey eye and flawless skin so quickly? And act like it was no big deal?!

What?” he says, putting down the makeup brush.

Nothing. Just thinking about how unfair it is that you’re better at makeup than I am.

He laughs, his eyes rolling and herds you out of the bathroom. You grab your purse and Jimin’s earring and head into the hall to find that the group has gathered outside your door.

We were beginning to worry about you two losing track of time ,” Hobi says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Your eyes go wide, making blood rush to your face and your throat to squeeze closed with embarrasement.

I, uh,  messed up my makeup and had to redo it, ” you scramble, panicking. “ Oh, and here’s your earring, Jimin.” 

Thank you so much, Noona!” Jimin says, taking the earring from you and clutching it to his chest. 

Both Tae and Jimin stand there, watching you a little uncomfortably, unsure of how to move forward. You guess it’s complete awkwardness all around then, because you’re not too sure what to say either and the rest of the guys exchange tense looks.

Eventually Tae breaks the tension and reaches out to link his arm with yours, surprising you.

So what kind of sushi do you like?” he asks, pulling you into walking with him toward the elevator.

You shoot Jungkook a wide eyed look, to which he shrugs and follows after you.

Uh, I like spicy tuna the best probably.

Tae wrinkles his nose. “I’ll buy some for you, Noona. But please don’t make me eat it. I hate spicy food.

His pleading face makes you laugh, and you promise him you’ll eat all the spicy tuna yourself.


The dinner with the guys was wonderful, the food was amazing, the wine was plentiful and there seemed to be no lingering tension between any of you. Well maybe, except for Namjoon. But you’re starting to wonder if he’s always like that. In constant hover mode over his flock, making sure everyone was taken care of and not stepping out of line.

The evening was pleasant enough until you got back to your hotel room later that night. All sorts of thoughts were running through your head as soon as your door closed behind you. Would you kiss again? Was he expecting anything? And what about sleeping with him? No way you were going to be able to just lie next to him and stay calm. 

Jungkook seemed to pick up on your nerves because he pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead.

It’s late. We should get some sleep before our flight tomorrow. Sleep might be hard to come by for a while.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t just the tiniest bit disappointed. But all the same, you were glad that there were clear expectations for the evening. You both got ready for the night and climbed into bed together.

You lay down, facing each other in the bed. You’re watching him carefully, trying to calm your racing heart. Jungkook’s bright eyes roam over your face, his smile and bunny grin giving you all the warm fuzzies.

But he shakes his head and says, “Nope. This isn’t going to work.

Your confusion only lasts a moment, because he shifts over, pulling your back into his chest, handling your body like you weigh next to nothing and spooning you from behind. He lets out a sigh of satisfaction and mumbles, “Much better,” before nuzzling into your neck and squeezing you tight around your middle.

Good night,” he says with a sigh that sounds like he’s already got one foot in dreamland.

Sweet dreams,” you say, relaxing a little more into his arms before drifting off to sleep yourself, a smile clinging to your lips, even in your sleep. 

The next morning is a flurry of activity, with you and Jungkook packing everything and staff members running around toting luggage and boxes downstairs. 

Once packed and settled, you send your things with Jungkook’s and try to figure out a way to get to the jewelers to pick up the necklace for Jungkook. After the events of yesterday, you are excited to give him the gift. Anxious to see his face when you explain what it means. And what he means to you. 

You try to sneak downstairs before lunch to grab a cab and grab the necklace. It’s not like the island is all that big in the first place, so it would take you less than an hour tops. 

But you’re caught by an eagle-eyed Namjoon on your way to the elevators.

Are you going to lunch? Want some company?” he says, his face bright and hopeful.

“Oh, uh, yeah. But I was just going to run out and grab something before we head out. You don’t have to come with me,” you say, trying not to sound too suspicious.

No! I’d actually love to have a chance to catch up with you. I feel like I haven’t really seen you lately.

“Oh, Namjoon! That’s sweet, but I can slip in and out of a place much easier than you can! I swear I’ll be back in time!

Namjoon narrows his eyes at you, sniffing out trouble like a bloodhound on the trail.

Uh huh. So where are you really going?” he asks with a hard stare.

Busted.

Well…” 

You explain how you found the pearl, what Halmoni told you it meant, and how you’d had it made into a necklace for Jungkook. You tell him you really wanted to get it to Jungkook as soon as possible, and you watched Joonie’s smile fall incrementally with each word you spoke. 

“Can’t you have it shipped? I mean, it’ll be cutting it close to get back in time,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

No, I have to pick it up today. It’s really important. Please? I can meet you guys at the airport when I’m done if I'm late!” you plead.

Joon sighs and hangs his head.

Fine. But you have to take a guard. And if Jungkook gets mad, I’m telling him this was all your idea and I had nothing to do with it,” he grumbles and calls for a guard to escort you.

You shoot a text to Jungkook as you’re hopping into the car.

 

You: I’m running out for a bit. I’ll be back later, ok?

JK: Wait, let me come with you! Where are you going?!

You: Just something I need to pick up! Don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it!

JK: I wish you’d told me before. Why didn’t you?

You: It’s a surprise. ;) Plus I’ve already left.

JK: Noonaaaaa! I can meet you there!

You: No! Be patient. Plus, I doubt Sejin will let you leave. He seems to be on the warpath this morning.

JK: Yeah, he’s been busy putting down rumors that have been spreading since the hospital. He’s not really happy with me right now.

You: I’m almost positive it’s not you who’s he’s upset with.

 

You roll your eyes, thinking about how much the manager seems to really loathe your sudden appearance in his and Jungkook’s life. 

 

You: But seriously, don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it. 

JK: At least you’re sitting in first class with us this time. 

You: I can’t wait.

 

You put your phone away, smiling like a fool, trying to ignore the judgemental eyes of the driver watching you from the rearview mirror.

When you get to Eunju’s studio, she looks like she was up all night working on your piece, but when she presents it to you, she is beaming from ear to ear. 

What do you think? Will he like it?” she asks.

You take the necklace gently from her, holding it closer to inspect it. It is absolutely stunning.

Eunju-ssi, it is beyond what I expected! This is perfect! Thank you so much! ” you say, lightly touching the pearl necklace nestled in a beautiful dark purple velvet lined box. It sets off the natural coloring of the pearl beautifully. The metal of the setting almost looks like it’s alive and wrapping itself around the pearl, tenderly folding it into its embrace.

Ah, I’m glad you like it. I hope your special someone does too,” she says, handing you the invoice. 

Damn, that’s a lot of zeroes.  

You hand over the card gingerly, almost afraid that it won’t work because of the amount. Up until this point, you’ve refused to use it, feeling like a prostitute being paid for services rendered to Jungkook. But you justify spending the money today because it’s a gift for Jungkook.

The charge miraculously goes through and you exhale in relief. 

Eunju wraps up the box in white kraft paper and twine, the outer presentation giving no hint at the treasure inside. You thank her once again for her willingness to do this last minute for you.

But when you look at your watch, you realize that you’re not going to be able to make it back to the hotel in time! You’re going to have to head straight to the airport. You must’ve lost track of time talking with Eunju and drooling over the necklace. And now you’re beginning to freak out about making it to the airport on time. 

I’m sorry, but I’ve got to run! Thank you again Eunju-ssi!

You run back to the car and the waiting driver and shoot a text to JK and Namjoon.

 

You: I’m on my way, but running late! 

JK: Hurry. There might be some problems at the airport. 

 

He doesn’t elaborate, even when you probe him with questions. He must be there now and can’t use his phone until he gets to the VIP lounge. Your anxiety ratchets up a bit more, wondering what could’ve happened. 

All you want is to get to the airport as quickly as possible, but of course, you get stuck behind an accident on the road that is blocking both lanes of traffic. It takes your guard half an hour to be able to turn around and back track to take another route to the airport. 

By now, you’re sure that the boys will have already made it through security and should be able to use their phones. You try calling Jungkook, but it goes straight to voicemail. In fact, all their phones go straight to voicemail.

Something isn’t right. You can feel it.

Your stomach twists in knots, trying to think what might’ve happened. Is someone hurt? Did something happen with the press? Your mind races to come up with one terrible scenario after another, each one being worse than the previous one. You do your best to try to calm your nerves. The last thing you need is to have a panic attack in the back of the car and potentially take Jungkook out of commission, too.

You spend the whole drive to the airport silently urging the car to go faster. And when you pull into the lane for the airport, you’re surprised to find the traffic backed up at least 50 cars deep.. 

Sorry, miss. I don’t know what’s happened. It looks like the traffic is moving, though. Just very slowly,” you driver/guard says, turning around in the front seat to address you.

You nod your head and try to text the guys again, but all the messages sit as unread, the little number mocking you.

As the car gets closer to the terminal, you can see police officers waving traffic off in different directions. Their presence only confirms the growing dread in your stomach and you impatiently wait your turn to talk to the officers.

When your guard finally pulls up to the man directing traffic, you roll down your window to speak with him.

Excuse me, but what’s happened? I have a flight that is leaving soon. Can you let us through?

I’m sorry, but no. There was an incident at the airport and the entrance to the terminals have been shut down. We’re asking everyone to show proof of travel plans and to ask everythat they use one of the shuttles from the park and ride lot to enter the airport. Ticket and ID, please?

Your heart sinks and you dig around in your bag for your license and you show him your ticket and ID.

What incident? Was anyone hurt?” Your heart is in your throat, squeezing it painfully as you try to keep your voice level.

I’m not allowed to divulge that information. All I can say is that we, the police, are handling it, but to ask you to please use the shuttle to enter the terminal.

The officer steps back, having verified your ticket, and waves your driver to a side road, looking bored and irritated.

You know in the pit of your stomach that whatever this “incident” was, it definitely involved the guys. The company probably threatened them with a lifetime's worth of lawsuits if they shared any details, otherwise the officer probably could’ve shared more. You squirm in your seat, wiping your sweaty hands back and forth on your thighs to try and distract your mind from spiraling out of control.

You check your watch, knowing that by the time you get through security and customs and through to the gate, you’ll basically be showing up at the last second before they close it. You’ll be running the whole way, but you’re still hopeful you can make it. 

You pull your phone back out as the driver makes his way to the parking lot. You try looking up Jeju news to see if anything’s been reported yet, but find nothing. Sejin is probably working himself into a tizzy keeping things under wraps. And your heart gives a tender thump on his behalf. He may not be your biggest fan, but you know how hard he works to keep the guys protected. You just wished that he didn’t lump you into the category of things the boys needed to be protected from.

But you don’t have a lot of time to dwell on it before your driver is parked and pulling your bag from the back. He hands it to the driver of the shuttle, who also stops you to verify your ticket, and steps back to the car.

Aren’t you coming with me?” you ask, thinking that Jungkook and Namjoon would probably be upset if you didn’t have a guard with you.

No Miss. My orders are to get you to the airport and that’s all. I’m sure someone will meet you when you get off the shuttle.

Oh, ok. Well, thank you for your help,” you say bowing, wishing Eunju’s brother had been your driver for today. You somehow didn't think that he would leave you to your own devices.

You ride the shuttle over to the airport and stepping off the bus, look around for a sign of anyone waiting for you. But no one steps forward. There’s no sign with your name on it. 

You glance at your watch. You have exactly one hour before the plane departs and you can’t wait another second.

You dash into the terminal, having to show your ticket and ID yet again before even getting into the line for security. Which is longer than usual, most likely due to whatever happened earlier. You groan, thinking about how much longer this will take you because you still have to go through customs. 

You try desperately to call Sejin and the rest of the guys one last time as you wait in the seemingly endless line, but it’s all still straight to voicemail. It takes you 30 minutes just to get to the front of the security line.

I can still make it. I can’t give up yet. I’ve got to try.

You keep repeating the words in your head that you’ve got to try. Don’t give up. Keep going! But you’ve only got 5 minutes left once you’ve made it through customs. 

You race through the terminal, and you huff out a laugh as a chorus of Run suddenly pops up in your head. 

One minute left.

Legs pumped, lungs heaving, you turn a corner and see the gate! 

As well as the gate agent, who is closing the door to the jet bridge as the plane pulls away. 

No…

You trip over your feet, your legs giving out as you realize that they’ve left without you. You lay splayed on the floor, your purse and suitcase spilled around you, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you see the plane turn a corner and line up on the runway. 

People are watching and whispering at you, making you hang your head, trying to hide your tears as hurt thoughts rotate on repeat through your mind. How could they do this to you? How could Sejin have allowed this to happen? Why didn’t someone meet you at the terminal? You’re sure they could’ve ushered you through security in some VIP lane or something. 

And a tiny hurt part of your mind wonders why Jungkook hadn’t gotten off the plane to wait for you. 

You’ve been through this already. Only days prior, in fact. And you could’ve sworn that things were going to be different now. That’s why you wanted to get the necklace so badly. You were so high on the feelings kissing him had brought on, that you couldn’t wait. You had to get the pearl and give it to him as soon as possible.

But you wonder, was worth it? Was it worth being separated again? Only this time, you’re stuck on an island while your soulmate is winging his way to a different country. You pull your legs up and wrap your arms around them, sobbing into space between chest and knees.

A sympathetic gate agent comes over and asks if she can help. You sit up, eyes full of tears and sob, “My soulmate is on that plane.

The gate agent’s shocked face turns to watch as the plane is shrinking in the distance, flying your soulmate farther and farther away from you.

How new is your bond?” she asks seriously.

Weeks old,” you sniff, trying to find the plane in the sky, but failing. He’s gone, getting miles and miles away from you with each passing second. 

Oh no… Someone call emergency services!” the gate agent yells over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, miss. We’ll-

But that’s all you hear. You watch the agent’s mouth move, but no sound is coming out. No ringing, no muffled dwindling of sound like you’ve experienced before.

It’s just… gone.

Horribly absent.

And somewhere, a detached part of your mind registers that you can feel the sobs coming out of you, feel your vocal folds tearing from your screams. 

But you can’t hear anything. 

Not even the pounding of your own heart.

Just complete and desolate silence.

Notes:

*cackles*

But seriously, whatcha think? We had our little moment of fluff and now we're headed back into angst-ville, population: you.

And how do we feel about that first kiss? Was it worth the wait? AND Cock Block McHyung didn't show up to ruin everything! A miracle! (I legit called Namjoon Cock Block McGee in my notes because of how much he's up in y'alls business. But I think I like McHyung better)

I'm going to be switching my posting days to Monday from now on because I have something on Tuesday nights. So, you're welcome for the early post and I won't keep you waiting too long for the next chapter. Because I'm really excited to write it.

Thank you for reading! I truly appreciate every kudo, comment, and visit to my little story! <3 I love hearing from you guys, so let me know what you think!!

Chapter 21

Summary:

In which we hear from the boys.

Notes:

Anything in bold, is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bolded is in English and intentional. :)

Also, there's a poll in the end notes! Be sure to check it out!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Namjoon POV - 3 hours earlier

 

Namjoon felt so tired these days. Like he was slowly being bled to death. A death by a thousand cuts. He takes care of so much, for so many, and it’s just plain exhausting. Namjoon has to help settle squabbles amongst the members, keep up with all their schedules, make sure they feed themselves, get to practice on time, and on and on… The list is endless.

And now, that list also includes Noona as well. 

And it sucked.

It sucked having to see her and Jungkook moon over each other while he’s silently pining in the wings. He’s tried so many things to try to get her out of his head. But when she’s always around, it’s hard to escape the constant reminder that she’s not his.

The craziest part of it all, though? He feels drawn to her. Inexplicably so. All he wants to do is be near her all the time. So much that it drives him crazy! But he reminds himself she’s not his again.

And if the guilt over having these feelings in the first place wasn’t enough, he also felt guilt towards Jungkook for having them, for keeping it from his youngest brother. He loves that kid like family and to have to hide a part of himself, any part, no matter how big or small, leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He just has to keep telling himself, she isn’t mine.

If he keeps repeating enough, he’ll start believing it, right?

Namjoon looked at his watch and realized they needed to head toward the vans for the airport soon. He’s already dreading the endless photographs they’ll have to stand for before they can even get inside, the press wanting their pound of flesh.

 

Namjoon: Ok guys, we leave in 5 minutes. Start heading to the lobby.

JK: Has Noona come back, yet?

Hobi: Come back? Did she go somewhere?

Namjoon: She had to pick something up. She said she’ll meet us at the airport. 

Jimin: That doesn’t sound good. What if she doesn’t make it?

JK: Yeah, what then?

Tae: We can’t leave her behind. Not after last time.

 

Namjoon didn’t have a solid answer for that. He had done some research on soul bonds recently. Mostly, he wanted to know if it was possible for someone to have more than one soulmate. 

But he learned a lot about other stuff too.

Most likely, their soul bond radius would be stretched to its limits, if it didn’t snap entirely. Fully bonded mates who have had time to establish their connections can be away from their mates for up to a year if close by, less when the distance is greater.

But that was for established mates, mates who’d been together for years. Jungkook and Noona’s bond was still so new, that he didn’t think their bond radius would allow them to be more than 100 or so kilometers away from one another yet. Probably less, due to the hesitancy of their relationship up until recently. 

He had come across cases where soulmates suffered varying levels of SDS, or soulmate deprivation sickness. Some felt minor discomforts like nausea, dizziness, or headache. The more extreme cases had soulmates losing one of their senses completely. Sometimes the SDS was permanent, sometimes it wasn’t.  But scientists didn’t have enough information to distinguish why some recovered and some didn’t. 

Namjoon figured, worst case, they would go deaf. And if that was the case, he’d have them turn the plane around to go back and get her.

But the best way to prevent this calamity was to make a plan just in case. So he shot off a text to their manager as he walked to the waiting vans outside. Saying that Noona would most likely need an escort through the airport. 

He would make sure she was taken care of. 

The boys all piled into their appointed vans and headed to the airport. Namjoon and Jin watched the youngest member as he fidgeted and bounced the entire drive over, silently exchanging concerned glances with each other. Jungkook was so wound up, constantly bouncing his leg, fidgeting with his clothes, when he resorted to pestering Jin, who took it in stride. 

Before long, the two of them were cracking jokes and being silly together. For all Jin’s talk about acting properly, he sure does act like the youngest sometimes.

When they reached the airport, Namjoon could see the typical crowd of fans, some with giant cameras, sitting on ladders. All just to get the best shot of them. It sometimes makes him hate flying in Korea. He hates having to be on high alert all while smiling and waving. It’s exhausting.

He took a deep breath, reached to open the door, and climbed out. He stepped to the side and waited as the entire group left their vans and came to stand next to him. They stood there, allowing the press to get their pictures, posing good naturedly before heading in. 

Deep breath, it’s almost over,” Jimin leaned over to whisper and Namjoon squeezed his shoulder in silent thanks.

After a moment, Namjoon nodded to signal that they were done and stepped forward. A sudden movement out of the corner of his eye caused him to turn. His mind didn’t even have time to process what’s happening before he felt something hit his head, knocking him sideways. 

Shit! What the fuck?!

He brought a hand to the side of his temple to touch the panging area and when his fingers came back into view, they were covered in blood. Namjoon’s stomach dropped out, and he suddenly felt dizzy. 

He vaguely registered shouting and seeing a frenzy of people swarming him and the rest of the guys. They were quickly herded into the safety of the airport and out of sight. Namjoon felt like he might throw up. 

Are you ok?!” voices yelled at him, but his lips couldn’t quite seem to form the words, his head fuzzy with the blow.

Kim Namjoon! ARE YOU OK?!” 

He could finally make out Yoongi’s voice above the others, the rapper’s face close to his, eyes sharp with concern and barely concealed fury.

Yes. Yes! I’m fine. A little dizzy, but fine.

“Shit,” Yoongi cursed. 

He tried to cover Namjoon’s large frame with his own as he ran with him through the doors to a private room somewhere in the airport. It would be comical under any other circumstances, but right then, he was just happy to have someone to lean against. 

Namjoon felt himself being pushed into a chair and hands came in and out of his view, touching his temple. 

This is shock, I’m in shock , Namjoon repeated to himself. 

But knowing what was happening to him didn’t make it any easier to handle when his body started shivering. A blanket was placed around his shoulders and Yoongi's face reappeared in front of him.

Namjoon-ah, Sejin-ssi wants to talk with you. Do you think you can?

Yeah. I think so, Yoongi-ah. Is everyone else ok?” Namjoon replied.

Yoongi’s tight face says enough, even though the other rapper stayed silent for a moment.

They went for Jimin. A couple of sasaengs. They ran at Jimin. I don’t think they meant to hit you, though.” Yoongi said with a deadly calm. 

Where’s Jimin? Is he ok?! They didn’t hurt him, did they?!” Namjoon tried to stand, but the rapper pressed down on his shoulder.

“No, they didn’t touch him. But he’s pretty freaked out ,” Yoongi said, trying to wipe Namjoon’s face. Namjoon tried to rise again, wanting to go and check on Jimin. “Yah! Tae’s with him. So stop trying to stand up. Let us take care of you for once!” Yoongi scolded.

It was only then that Namjoon saw the wet rag in Yoongi’s hand. He dropped back into his seat and let his hyung dab at his temple. Now that the shock was starting to clear, he took in the amount of blood on his clothes and how quickly the cloth was staining a rusty red. It turned Namjoon’s stomach again.

Head wounds bleed a lot, ” Namjoon said, almost as if he was trying to reassure himself with the information. Yoongi just nodded sympathetically as he continued to clean Namjoon’s face. “ Where’s everyone else? How are they doing?” he added.

Jin-hyung is talking with Sejin, and Taehyung-ah and Hob-ah are helping Jimin-ie. You know how scared he can get sometimes.

What about Jungkook?” Namjoon questioned.

Yoongi looked over his shoulder and gestured over to where the maknae was angrily pacing in the corner. “There. He’s pretty worked up, but won’t talk to anyone.

Let me go talk to him,” Namjoon said, pushing Yoongi’s hands away and rising. 

But before he could reach Jungkook, Sejin intercepted him.

Namjoon-ssi, are you alright?” Sejin asked with concern. The manager’s eyes were roaming all over his face and body, taking in the bloodied clothes and skin.

I’m fine. But I need to talk to Jungkook, Hyung. Can this wait?” Namjoon sighed.

Sejin shook his head. “I’m afraid not. We need to take care of everything with the police so we can board the flight on time. The sooner we get out of here, the better. I don’t want to have to deal with the headache of dealing with the security of staying here another night. I’ve taken everyone’s phones for security. I’ll be needing yours too, Namjoon-ssi. I’m sorry. It’s protocol.

To his credit, Sejin looked remorseful as he reached out for Namjoon’s phone. Sejin dropped it into a bag and was taken away by one of the other staff members. 

So,what now, Manager-nim?” Namjoon said, trying to assess next steps.

“We will leave a few staff members behind to handle the filing of charges, but the police want to get a statement from you. Keep it brief. Then we’ll be the last ones to board the plane to avoid any unnecessary contact with other passengers.

Have you heard from Noona?

Sejin’s face curled in distaste before he could school his features back into forced neutrality. But Namjoon didn’t miss it. 

He was going to have to have a talk with Sejin about this when they got to Japan.

Y/N-ssi will be here soon. But I really need you to talk to the police right now.

I’ll come with you, hyung,” Jungkook’s voice said from behind him. Jungkook had abandoned his pacing and came to stand behind him. Namjoon could see the simmering anger that he was holding back. 

Namjoon knew how much Jungkook loved his hyungs and took their safety and well-being very seriously. The fact that someone had gotten so close to them wasn’t sitting well with him. He could tell the youngest member was itching to explode. And Namjoon knew the safest place for Jungkook right now was with him, where he could help the raging youth if needed.

“Ok, Kook-ah. Let’s go,” Namjoon said, reaching to throw an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, following behind Sejin towards the waiting officers.

Just as Sejin requested, he kept his statement’s brief and answered their questions as succinctly as possible. He could feel Jungkook vibrating in the seat next to him, so he reached out and rested his hand on the young man’s leg, trying to lend him some calm. Jungkook melted somewhat and Namjoon wondered if he just needed some physical reassurance. 

When the police left, Sejin filed a doctor in to examine Namjoon to make sure it was safe for him to fly. Jungkook watched with wide eyes as the doctor cleaned and bandaged Namjoon’s head, reassuring him that apart from the shock and laceration, he was totally healthy. As soon as the doctor left, he spoke.

Are you really ok, hyung?

Yes. I am fine. Don’t worry, Kook-ah.

Namjoon was getting tired of answering this question, but knew that they were all just worried for him. And something about Jungkook’s presence was oddly calming for him. He let the sensation soak into him and revive him. 

I still can’t believe they did that. It isn’t right,” Jungkook seethed. The young man squeezed his hands together so tightly that Namjoon could see the veins popping up through his skin.

I know. I’ve gotten used to the mobbing and people trying to get at us. But I never thought they’d get this bold,” Namjoon said, shaking his head.

I wish I could talk to them. Ask them what they were hoping to accomplish by hurting us!” Jungkook growled.

You know that would be about as productive as having a conversation with a tree, Kook-ah.

I know, I know ,” Jungkook trailed off, quiet for a moment, looking sad. “ I’m just really glad Noona wasn’t here to see that. She didn’t handle seeing the crowds of people around us well before.”

Namjoon was quiet, remembering the panic attack that had brought Noona into their home in the first place. Remembered seeing her pale and shaken, but trying her best to put on a brave face. He wondered if that was the moment he really fell head over heels for her.

I’m glad too.”

Do you know when she’ll be here? I don’t feel good with her gone,” Jungkook questioned, looking so earnest and miserable that Namjoon’s conscience gave him another painful jab.

She’s not mine. She’s not mine. She’s not mine…

Sejin-ssi said she’d be here soon, but was pretty vague about it. Why don’t we go ask if he’s heard from her.

Namjoon rose and pulled Jungkook with him, going in search of their manager. 

When they found him, Sejin was shouting on his phone and he waved them off.  He continued to shout at whoever was on the end, presumably the security team on the ground in Japan, that whatever they had prepared wasn’t going to be enough.

Namjoon turned to Jungkook. “He’s probably going to be busy for a while. Why don’t you go check on Jimin and make sure he’s ok? I’ll talk with Sejin when he’s off the phone.

Jungkook nodded reluctantly, taking the order from his leader and moving off in search of his friend.

Namjoon sank into the closest chair and put his interlaced hands on his head, closing his eyes. His cut was starting to throb a bit and all he wanted to do was sleep. It wasn’t like he hadn’t already been exhausted. Now he was bone-deep tired, and he wasn’t sure if he’dl be able to peel himself out of this chair when the time came to head to the plane.

Speaking of which, would be any minute now. Honestly, Namjoon just wanted this day to be over already. His literal and figurative headaches were at the point of overwhelming him and he just didn’t think he had it in him to be the leader any more today. 

The rustle of clothes alerted him to someone sitting next to him.

Namjoon-ah. What happened to the piece of bread who got hit in the head?

Namjoon’s lips curled into a smile, eyes still closed, as he heard Jin’s familiar voice telling one of his stupid jokes.

I don’t know, Jin-hyung. What?

He became coma-toast.” 

Jin’s windshield wiper laugh burst out, ringing in Namjoon’s ears. Namjoon let a single huff of a laugh escape him, shaking his head at the bad pun. 

Thanks hyung. I needed that.

I know. That’s why I said it. My jokes are medicinal. You’re already feeling better, aren’t you,” Jin said with absolute confidence. Namjoon hated that he can’t say no, so he just grumbled.

You’re welcome ,” Jin said, then slipping into seriousness, “By the way, we’re all getting ready to go. As soon as Sejin is off the phone, we’ll head for the gate.

Thanks for the heads up,” Namjoon replied and Jin stood to move away. 

Namjoon finally decided to open his eyes and get up. He grabbed his backpack and stood with the rest of the guys by the door.

The group was quiet and the atmosphere tense. Tae was clinging to Jimin’s side, rubbing his back, while Jungkook hung on his other side. It was Namjoon’s first time seeing Jimin since the incident and while pale, he looked like he was starting to feel better.

You ok, JM?” Namjoon teased. Jimin’s cheek lifted in a weak smile.

“J-I-M-I-N, that is my name.” A few of the guys chuckled, and Namjoon felt relieved that he’d broken some of the tension.

I’m sorry. Jimin.” Namjoon corrected himself, jokingly.

Jimin looked to be about to say something, but Sejin came over suddenly and started yelling out instructions to the security team before addressing the band.

You will be riding in some motorcarts to the gate with a member of security each. When we arrive at the gate, everyone is to get off their cart and their security team member will escort them to the jet bridge. You will run to your seat, get settled and the plane will leave immediately after that. Are we clear?

Everyone nodded. Sejin waited for the head security officer’s go ahead before opening the door and motioning everyone through. Namjoon felt himself being rushed onto the back of a golf cart next to a beefy bodyguard and whisked through the terminal toward the gate.

He was the last one down the jetbridge, following after all his bandmates as they ran to their seats and quickly settled themselves inside. Namjoon watched the flight attendant pull the door closed behind him and lock it as he headed towards his seat. No sooner had he buckled his seat belt, did the plane pull away from the gate and head towards the runway.

He took a moment to count heads, as was his habit. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Good. Everyone’s here.

But wait, that felt wrong. Someone was missing. But who?

And it hit him like the rock that had struck him earlier.

Noona

Noona was missing. 

He looked around in a panic, catching Jungkook’s eyes, who was looking around with the same kind of franticness. 

And at that same moment, they realized that Noona wasn’t on the plane.

 

JK POV

 

The sensation of his hearing being gone was disturbing. Disturbing enough that it made him feel strangely small and helpless. Not long after the plane took off, his hearing had abruptly vanished, surprising him. It only served to confirm that his soulmate had not made it onto the plane.

He tried snapping his fingers around his ears, singing, clapping… but nothing. He had receded so far into his own head, that he hadn’t realized everyone was looking at him. It was only when a hand touched his shoulder that he realized he was the center of attention.

He saw Jimin’s lips moving, his face scrunched with concern, but he couldn’t make anything out. Nothing. He could feel panic rising in his throat, but he was doing his best to shove it down. It wouldn’t help anything if he lost his head.

Jungkook looked around the cabin and found the face of every single one of his bandmates looking at him, faces a mix of frustration, disbelief, and fear. It was finally Namjoon who slid a notebook in front of him, motioning.

 

  • Can you hear anything at all?

 

Jungkook shook his head. Namjoon bent to write again.

 

  • Any other symptoms?

 

Again, Jungkook shook his head no. Well, not unless he counted feeling sick to his stomach with dread and fear. He could feel the tears prickling his eyes, despite his efforts to squash his emotions. He motioned for Namjoon to give him the paper.

 

  • Can we turn around? Go back to Jeju?

 

Jungkook pointed emphatically at his note when he pushed it back over to Namjoon, casting his eyes to their manager who was hovering nearby. 

Sejin’s face had been drained of any color, a shocked, miserable look taking up residence on his usually pleasant face. The manager’s eyes dipped to read what Jungkook had written. Jungkook watched as Sejin had a heated conversation with Namjoon, roping in a flight attendant.

It was a tense couple minutes watching words being exchanged and trying to guess what was happening by trying to read lips and watch their expressions. Tae and Jimin came to stand next to Jungkook’s seat, smothering him with physical affection, showing their love and concern through skinship.

Jungkook found it reassuring as he watched the flight attendant bow and retreat towards the cockpit. He saw everyone’s expectant faces watch her retreat and motioned to the group, trying to figure out what was happening.

Namjoon pulled the notebook back out and wrote.

 

  • She’s going to ask the captain if he will turn the plane around.

 

Jungkook nodded and waited, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt like a man headed for the gallows, waiting to see if there was a last minute stay of execution.

When she returned, her hesitant face told him everything he needed to know. 

The answer was no. 

And his heart plummeted. He watched as the people he loved most in this world, save his parents, responded with mixed reactions. 

Namjoon was getting angry, to the point of almost becoming belligerent, pointing at their manager and gesturing wildly. Jin and Jimin looked like they couldn’t believe what was happening. Yoongi and Hobi just looked disgusted. And Tae looked at him, empathy filling his eyes. And somehow, Jungkook thought Sejin looked relieved. Like he was happy that they wouldn’t be turning around.

And very suddenly, Jungkook couldn’t stand the sight of the man. It was the final straw. Sejin had been nothing short of hostile towards his soulmate since she’d come into his life and had done nothing but make one mess after another where her well being was concerned. 

And Jungkook had had enough.

Namjoon was still discussing things with Sejin, and from the looks of it, the conversation wasn’t going well. Jungkook took the opportunity to take the notebook back from Namjoon and write something down. When he was finished, he stood up, and shoved the paper into Sejin’s face.

 

  • I don’t know why you hate my soulmate, but if you can’t figure out how to prioritize her, you’re fired.

 

Sejin’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest. Jungkook gave him an unimpressed look. Was he so stupid to have forgotten so quickly that whatever he said, Jungkook would be completely unable to hear it? And Jungkook suspected deep down, it was entirely Sejin’s fault.

Namjoon caught Jungkook’s eye, silently asking if he was serious. It was a huge allegation that Jungkook had laid at the man’s feet, and firing their manager that had been with them since the beginning was a huge deal.

Jungkook’s face was hard and unchanging. He stared Sejin down, refusing to break eye contact first. Sejin finally cowed and hung his head, bowing several times. Jungkook assumed this meant his point was made.

He sat back down and ran his hands back and forth through his hair, trying to figure out how to fix this. They weren’t going to be able to go back for her, so the answer seemed simple to Jungkook. 

He just had to fly back to Jeju and get her.

Namjoon shooed everyone back to their seats, sinking into the chair next to Jungkook, bringing the notebook back out.

 

Namjoon - Are you ok?

Jungkook - I have to go back for her, hyung.

Namjoon - I figured as much. We’ll see if we can book you, me, and a small security team on the first flight to Jeju. 

Jungkook - If there’s only room for me, I’m going alone.

 

Namjoon stopped and leveled a look at Jungkook, as if to say he’d better think again. Jungkook wasn’t having it.

 

Jungkook - I don’t care. I have to get to her as soon as possible. And I don’t care if it’s by myself.

Namjoon - What good will you be if you’re mobbed by fans? You’ll only be putting both her and yourself in danger. You need at least two guards minimum. MINIMUM. Got it?

 

Jungkook rolled his eyes and decided not to fight about something that may not even become an issue. Bouncing his knee, Jungkook leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. All he could think about was her. Her smile, the way her face lit up when she saw him, the way she was so expressive with her face while she was reading, even though she didn’t realize it… The kiss they shared just yesterday…

Was that really only yesterday? It seems so long ago.

He tried to distract himself from his thoughts, but without music, it was an exercise in futility. The flight between Jeju and Tokyo was about three hours long and they’d only been in the air for 45 minutes.

It was going to be a long flight.

 


 

When they landed in Tokyo, Jungkook was the first one off the plane, running up the jet bridge with Namjoon and their security team jogging behind them. Jungkook took off through the airport, texting his soulmate frantically. He had expected an immediate response, anticipating that she would be glued to her phone in wait for his text. Her lack of response to his messages was as frustrating, as it was frightening.

He kept running through the airport until he found the airline's customer service desk. Jungkook had tried speaking to the customer service rep in his urgency, forgetting that even if they could understand him, he surely wouldn’t be able to hear their responses.

He motioned for them to wait as the four other men caught up with him, panting. Namjoon shot Jungkook an irritated glare as he stepped forward and explained the situation to the agent. Jungkook waited on tenterhooks as he watched her face morph from a pleasant smile, to shock, and then to understanding. Her fingers flew over the keyboard and she seemed to be firing options back to Namjoon. There were some negotiations happening, but eventually, it seemed like there was a plan because the agent was handing them printed boarding passes and bowing. 

Jungkook urgently tapped Namjoon’s, trying to get his attention. He wanted to know what the plan was!

Namjoon rolled his eyes and handed Jungkook the boarding passes. Jungkook’s eyes roamed over the paper ticket, searching for their departure time. Jungkook’s frustration rose as he saw that the next flight wasn’t for another three hours. 

He wanted to pull his hair out. Noona wasn’t responding to his texts and his mind was playing a loop of one worst case scenario after another. He was going crazy with worry and the complete lack of sound was surprisingly distracting, irritating him further by his inability to focus.

Namjoon, seeing Jungkook’s spiral, pulled him into the sky lounge and took out his phone to text, motioning Jungkook to reply, even though they sat next to one another.. 

 

Namjoon: Let’s play a game.

JK: No thanks, hyung. I can’t focus.

Namjoon: Do you want to go over some choreography, then?

 

Jungkook thought about it and knew it would fix two problems: his racing mind and pent up energy.

 

JK: That’s a good idea. Where, though?

Namjoon: I’ll find some place. Just a sec.

 

Namjoon rose and went to speak with the front desk attendant. A moment later, she was showing them into a conference room, and bowed as she closed the door behind her to leave. Jungkook turned to Namjoon and belatedly realized that without the music, he wouldn’t be able to follow along. 

The gravity of the situation started to hit Jungkook fully. If he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t sing, he couldn’t dance… Couldn’t be a part of BTS any more. He would become a washed up idol with no way to do the very thing he loved most in the world. An idol who would be scorned for losing his hearing because he couldn’t handle having a soulmate.

He wasn’t naive enough to think that he would be actively performing his whole life. He’d thought about what he wanted to do after the group officially disbanded. He’d still be young enough for a while yet to continue singing and dancing, and had thought about a solo career.

But he’d also wanted to start a family. Wanted to get married and maybe become a father. And the idol lifestyle wasn't exactly conducive to having a young family. So he’d thought about trying his hand at songwriting or becoming a choreographer if he ever found someone. Found his soulmate.

Regardless of what he chose, music was at the very heart of it all. Without music, Jungkook would be completely lost. It would be as if a giant part of him was swallowed up whole, leaving him fractured and slowly bleeding out.

Namjoon seemed to realize the futility of his distraction a few seconds after Jungkook did, and he turned gentle eyes on the younger man. And it was seeing the fear that Namjoon was trying to hide from him that broke Jungkook.

Jungkook dropped into a squat, burying his face in his arms as he began to sob. He could feel the vibrations of his cries in my body, feel the tears on his face, but that was where the sensation ended. 

He couldn’t even hear himself cry.

Which only made him sob harder. 

He continued to cry, eventually feeling a large, warm hand rub across his shoulder. Jungkook raised puffy eyes to see that Namjoon was holding back his own tears, trying to be strong for him. He carefully mouthed, “It’ll be ok,” to Jungkook and folded the maknae into his embrace. 

Jungkook took comfort in the arms of his hyung. One of the few people who knew him best in this world. If anyone could understand what he was feeling, it was Namjoon. 

Namjoon let him cry into his shoulder for who knows how long, until Jungkook felt like he couldn’t possibly squeeze another tear out of his raw, puffy eyes. They had moved into more comfortable positions on the floor, the leader holding Jungkook by the shoulders as he had fallen apart.

And time slipped by, simultaneously racing and dragging on, and Jungkook eventually pulled himself together. He focused on the fact that as long as he had his soulmate by his side, he could do anything. 

He just had to get to her first. 

When it was time, he and Namjoon, plus their three bodyguards, tried their best to make their way inconspicuously to their gate. Jungkook felt they were doing fairly well, not having been recognized at all yet, thanks to masks and nondescript ballcaps. One good thing about post-pandemic life was that everyone wore a mask in the airport now, so they didn’t stick out.

They sat on some benches looking out the window at the airfield, watching as planes took off and landed. Jungkook reminded himself that it was only going to be another few hours until he could wrap his arms around his soulmate. 

Only a few more hours.

But something made him pause, sitting up straight in his seat. It had been so slow and gradual, that Jungkook hadn’t noticed it right away. But he could almost swear he could hear his heart beating. A low thumping in his ears.

And it was getting louder with each contraction of the muscle. 

The sound of his heart beating was joined by the sound of his breath flowing in and out of his lungs. The cacophony of the mingled sounds was so loud after a complete absence of noise, that he wondered how he’d ever ignored these sounds his whole life.

Jungkook reached out to hold onto Namjoon’s arm, not wanting to fully believe what was happening. Namjoon looked at him with focused eyes, trying to decipher the reason for Jungkook’s sudden stiffness.

And then a persistent hissing sound started in Jungkook’s ears, like the static of an untuned radio turned all the way down, a whisper quiet hissing. But a hiss that was growing louder with each thump of his heart, each rise and fall of his lungs. 

Movement caught Jungkook’s eye and he saw a plane pulling into their gate. It was the plane they’d be departing on in less than an hour. 

And hope bloomed in his chest.

Could it be?

He couldn’t let himself fully believe yet, but his mind was chanting, “ She’s here. She’s here!

He rose and jumped to the window, pressing his hands to the glass, as if he could get to her faster if he could just push through the transparent barrier. 

The hissing in his ears was rising to an uncomfortable din now, and he could almost swear that he could hear the low pounding of bass notes. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned to see Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he repeated his question. He couldn’t hear what he said, but the deep sounds matched in time with the movement of his mouth. 

Jungkook opened his own lips and spoke from muscle memory.

Noona...

Namjoon’s brows contracted closer, before turning towards the parking airplane. Jungkook saw the realization as it dawned across the leader’s face, Namjoon’s wide eyes coming back to share a hopeful look with him. Jungkook could stop his growing smile as he bounded over to stand in front of the gate. He wanted to see every single person as they left that plane.

The hissing static was ratcheting up now with every single person that exited the plane and Jungkook thought his heart would burst from anticipation. He searched each face, desperately searching for recognition.

Then, Jungkook saw a familiar halo of hair poking from behind a large man. He groaned in frustration, leaning side to side, trying to see around the man’s broad shoulders as they walked through the gate. 

Finally, the beefy man walked off towards the side, revealing her face. That sweet face that he’d become so accustomed to.

And he couldn’t stop himself from running to her, the static in his ears crescendoing until he threw his arms around her. Lifting her up, he buried his face in her neck and the contact with his soulmate burst into life, sparks gathering around them and growing, until it was a swirling, full blown electrical storm. 

The cloud of their blended energies swirled faster and faster around them, until Jungkook felt that they would burst into flames any minute, consuming the both of them. His arms squeezed tighter around her, reveling in that, allowing himself to be consumed right along with her. 

She was here!

She was safe!

Jungkook thought he had never been happier in his whole life. Never more relieved. He lowered his soulmate to the ground, setting her gently back on her feet before ripping the mask from his face and diving for her lips. His hands shot up to hold her face to his, and when their lips met, it was like the whole world disappeared. It was just him and her, right here, right now, in this moment, finally reunited.

His soulmate, in her enthusiasm, raised her arms to wrap around his neck, pulling his hat off before molding her body to his. His lips crushed into hers, tongue and teeth soon worshiping her, as he allowed the feeling of their soul bond igniting to fuel the kiss. 

She responded with equal vigor, meeting his need every step of the way, twinning her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer to her. It was like the idea of having even a single sliver of space between them, no matter how small, was one sliver too much.

She swirled her tongue against his, pushing and tasting him as his hands left her face to roam down the contours of her body. She moaned into his mouth when he caught her lips between his teeth and tugged. And Jungkook was eternally grateful for the ability to hear every little moan and sigh that escaped her. He would happily luxuriate in the sound of her responding to him for the rest of his life, he promised himself.

He was starting to go dizzy from lack of oxygen and pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on hers, panting. “Hi.”

Hi,” she responded, just as breathless as he was.

You’re here! How are you here?” he whispered in wonder. 

I… Uh, maybe we should talk about this later?” She dropped her head, hiding away from him slightly.

He pulled back, trying to see why she was avoiding him.

And then it clicked. Literally. The click of a hundred static muffled camera shutters bringing his awareness back to the world around him.

Reality slammed into him, as his eyes took in the crowd of people gathered around him, holding their phones out to snap pictures and videos. Capturing every detail of their intimate reunion.

His heart, which had been floating just a moment prior, plummeted as he realized what was happening. He could see Namjoon-hyung and their guards, trying their best to shoo people away and block their shots, but it was having little effect on the crowd.

They had to get out of there. And fast.

Shall we?” Jungkook said with a glint in his eye as he grabbed her hand and ran.

Notes:

Whooo, this chapter was a big boy. I contemplated splitting it up into Namjoon's and JK's POV's as separate chapters. But I was benevolent and kept it all together instead of stringing it out. Aren't I nice?

So, I reiterate. I'm SURE that real life Sejin would never do this to the guys he manages. But our story had to have a villian and management is it. JK and Namjoon would've never willingly left her behind. But they don't always get to make the decisions, you know?

And stupid sasaengs. They ruin everything.

Also, I was thinking of writing a sort of in the future one shot thing for Valentine's Day next week, instead of the next chapter? So let me know which you'd rather have:

A) Smutty Valentine's Day one shot set in the future between you and JK
B) Regularly scheduled programming
C) Smutty Valentine's Day pairing with someone else (Like y/n with one of the other guys, or some of the other guys together?)

I look forward to hearing what you want to read next week! Thank you so much for reading!! I love all of you so much!! ㅠㅁㅠ *sobs in imposter syndrome*

Chapter 22

Summary:

In which you retell the same story three times, finally talk with your friends and have dinner.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. And dialogue that isn't bold is in English and most likely intentional (although with the bare minimum pass at editing I did it's entirely possible I missed some things)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook’s hand grips yours as you run through the terminal, escaping the crush of people gathered around you at the gate. You are so happy to see him, to be holding his hand, that you don’t care about the people photographing you. You’re together and that’s all that matters. 

Tears start to gather in your eyes as you think about what it took to get here. Not long after Jungkook’s flight left, the gate agents in Jeju had escorted you to an empty gate area and gotten the whole story from you, using a computer to communicate. 

You’d typed out that you were supposed to be meeting your soulmate at the airport, but whatever incident or accident that happened earlier prevented you from getting to the gate on time and the plane had left. You didn’t know why he hadn’t gotten off the plane to wait for you, but you were able to answer most of their other questions and they started making a plan. 

The gate agents had been so kind and patient, that you started thinking of them as your guardian angels. They asked if you cared about the fact that you’d most likely not be traveling first class, as your original ticket had been. You told them the only thing you cared about was that you had to be on the next flight to Tokyo, no matter what.

When you learned that the airline you were flying on didn’t have any more flights to Tokyo that day, you nearly dissolved into a puddle again. Your worst fears about your hearing being damaged danced through your head. 

Through gathering tears, you typed to ask if there were any planes headed to Tokyo today, even if it was with another airline. And lucky for you, there was one last flight to Tokyo with a different carrier, but it was leaving soon. 

So, you ran to the gate with your gate angels and they explained your situation. 

To your horror, they told you the plane was fully booked.

Despair threatened to envelope you once again, but your gate angels picked up the announcement speaker and talked for a long time. You couldn’t figure out what was happening, until an older gentleman raised his hand and came forward. His eyes held yours with sympathy as he smiled at you and bowed.

You turned to the gate agents gathered there, some looking a bit misty, holding your hands up in a questioning way. You had no idea why a complete stranger had bowed to you and why people seemed to be getting worked up. If anyone had a right to cry, it was you and you were doing your level best to keep that from happening again. 

One of the gate agents handed you a new boarding pass and then it clicked. Your confusion evaporated as you realized what was happening. You turned back to the complete stranger and threw your arms around his neck and cried. 

It took a few minutes to be able to gather yourself back together, but when you did, you released him and mouthed, ”Thank you,” bowing deeply to him.

Tapping hands made you straighten after several seconds and the man just smiled and nodded at you. Your gate agent angel gestured for you to board the flight. You mouthed your thanks to the gathered crowd and bowed to all of them repeatedly as you backed toward the jetbridge. And it was like a gathering of little fairy godmothers, watching you leave with clasped hands and glimmering eyes. 

They must’ve thought it was utterly romantic. And maybe if you could hear anything, you might’ve also thought that way. But mostly, you were finding yourself battling between feeling intense anger at being left behind and a burning eagerness to be in the arms of your soulmate.

Which happily, you are.

Jungkook pulls you along behind him, weaving in and out of clusters of people in the terminal. Every now and then, he looks back at you with eyes sparkling and a grin on his lips, like he thinks this is the most fun he’s had in years. And you can’t help your answering grin.

Kook pulls you into the airline lounge and you’re panting. You haven’t done that much cardio in a long time and you’re considering joining Jungkook in the gym more often from now on. You wonder how much you’ll be running after him as his soulmate. And when you think about all those poor Run BTS camera men and women who’ve had to run after him, you know you’re going to need to add in more cardio.

Noona! How? How are you here?! ” Jungkook says, panting. His eyes search yours like he can’t believe what’s in front of him.

Well, a girl’s gotta be resourceful sometimes, ” you say with a teasing smile. His answering laugh sounds like the ringing of silver bells. Goosebumps rise on your arms, just from the hearing of it.

After that horrible, complete absence of sound, any noise that strikes your ear sends delicious sensations through your body. But the sound of your soulmate’s voice? It’s like a shot of pure serotonin.

But how? I was about to board a plane to go get you!” 

I’m definitely interested in that story too ,” Namjoon huffs as he and the bodyguards catch up with you.

Well- ” You start, but you’re cut off by Namjoon’s phone ringing. He holds a finger up as he turns slightly to take the call.

I still can’t believe you’re here, ” Jungkook says with wonder.

What? Did you expect me to sit on my ass and wail ‘O, woe is me’? ” you laugh. Jungkook looks cutely abashed, going pink at the ears.

I was going to come save you, ” he murmurs. He shifts his weight from side to side in his embarrassment, seeming to have taken your words a little harshly.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that I was going to do everything in my power to get to you. And I wasn’t going to let a measly thing like an ocean and hundreds of miles stand in my way, ” you say reassuringly.

Jungkook takes your words with a note of pride and beaming affection. He pulls on your hand that he has yet to release, and folds you into a tight embrace. You wind your arms around his middle, relishing the contact and melting into the connection between you, which is fairly vibrating with all that energy now.

Namjoon clears his throat, interrupting your tender moment, as seems to be his habit now.

Sorry guys, but we have to go. Now. The press is picking up the story and it’s not pretty. We’ve gotta get out of here, and fast.

Jungkook nods, pulling back from you. “ Ok hyung. Where do we go?

Thankfully there’s a private exit we can use, so they’re arranging some cars to pick us up, but we have to go now. Noona, you ok?

I’m fine, Joonie. Thank you, ” you reply. 

He simply nods and seems to relax visibly.  He motions you towards the door where an airport employee is waiting to escort you. 

The guards surround you as best they can as you walk. And thankfully, no one seems to recognize the boys as you make your way to the waiting vans. You pile in, and they pull out, heading towards the hotel. 

Several minutes pass in almost complete silence. The atmosphere is tense, to say the least. Joon seems to be holding back something very strongly and you have a feeling that either you, Jungkook or the both of you will be getting an earful later.

But tension is also building for an entirely different reason in the back seat, where you and Jungkook are seated. You can feel a pull toward him. Like a literal magnetic pull, urging you to hold him, to touch him… to taste him. 

It takes damn near all your willpower to keep your hands to yourself as the minutes creep by. 

Junkook finally breaks the tension though, saying, “ I’m so glad you’re here.

Me too, ” you reply, reaching out and lacing your fingers with his.

But how? How are you here? ” Jungkook's face searches yours for answers.

Namjoon perks up at that and you catch him turning slightly towards you to listen, too.

So you share your story about why you were late, telling them about the hold up with the police, the shuttle bus, and the long security lines. You tell them about your gate angels and how they got you on the very next plane leaving for Tokyo, and also how the older man had given up his seat for you. Your eyes water a little, reliving all the kindnesses you’d received that day. 

“Which reminds me! What happened at the airport? Why did the police direct everyone away?! ” you ask. You see Namjoon shift in his seat, angling himself so his face is completely hidden from you.

Well… ” Jungkook’s eyes dart to his hyung’s back and he hesitates. Does he not want to tell you?

Please don’t keep me in the dark. Do you know how worried I was about you all? I had no idea what had happened. Only that it was something bad and that it probably involved you guys.

We were worried about you too! ” Jungkook fires back, bristling defensively.

Stop avoiding the question. What. Happened.

You pin him with a stare that leaves no room for argument. Jungkook still hesitates, but only for a short moment. 

Sasaengs. Some sasaengs made a fuss, ” Jungkook hedges. 

You narrow your eyes at him. He’s trying to avoid telling you the whole story, but you’re not sure why. Is he trying to shield you from something?

What kind of fuss? ” you say slowly. 

Jungkook keeps looking at Namjoon and it dawns on you that he doesn’t know if he has permission to share this information yet. You clench your jaw, frustration building and your patiences waning.

I… Well, it was… ” Jungkook mutters.

Why aren’t you telling me?! Did Sejin tell you to keep me in the dark? I bet he did. That guy’s never liked me.

He’s not telling you because he doesn’t want you to overreact, ” Namjoon huffs, turning to face you full on. He’d been wearing a bucket hat pulled low over his face since you’d seen him. But now he pulls it off to reveal the bandage at his temple.

Your eyes go wide and you immediately reach out to touch the bandage, but you pull back at the last moment, not wanting to touch him without permission.

“What happened?! Are you ok?! Oh my god!” you rush out in English, your shock making you default to your first spoken language.

I’m ok. Some sasaengs came after us today, ” Namjoon says. And when he doesn't continue, you gesture for him to keep going. He rolls his eyes and continues. “ I think they were trying to get to Jimin. They threw a rock and it happened to hit me in the head. It made a small cut, but it bled a lot.

Poor Jimin! Oh my god, Namjoon! That must’ve been so scary! I can’t believe someone would throw rocks at you! That’s horrible! ” The words tumble from your lips in a fear-fueled jumble. Jungkook squeezes your hand.

Wait! Is everyone else ok?! ” you say, your voice rising.

Yes, everyone else is fine. A little bit shaken up, but fine, ” Namjoon says and turns back around, apparently finished with talking about this. 

You turn to Jungkook, seeking to comfort and be comforted.

And you’re ok?! You’re not hurt?

I’m fine. Really, ” he laughs when you start inspecting him for damage. “ Hyung was the only one hurt. Jimin is a little shaken, but he’ll be ok.

I’m so glad you’re all safe, ” you say, snuggling into his side and holding him close. The idea that anyone would want to hurt the guys makes your stomach sour. 

So, where did you go this afternoon that was so important you missed the flight? ” he asks, his tone hovering between curiosity and consternation.

You knew this question was coming. You just weren’t sure if you were ready to give him the necklace yet or not. Especially after he left you behind in Jeju today. 

But you’re sure you’re not going to be able to explain your reasons without it.

You pull your purse into your lap and dig around in it. Jungkook patiently watches and waits. Finding the small box containing the necklace, you pull it out and hand it to him.

I had to go pick that up, ” you say. He turns the box over in his hands a few times, confusion wrinkling his brow. “ Go ahead, open it, ” you urge.

He opens the box and stares at the necklace, a blank expression on his face. You can’t figure out whether he’s happy or sad, so you rush to explain the gift.

I had it made for you. I found this pearl while I was diving with the Haenyeo. Halmoni told me that there’s a legend on the island that it’s a blessing from the god of the sea. And that if you give it to the person you love, they’ll be with you forever, ” you say, finishing a little timidly. 

You still can’t decide if he’s upset or not. You remember how many times you’ve seen his Jungshook face and thought it meant the opposite of what he was actually thinking. But, still, you find yourself twisted up with nerves, waiting for his response.

You had this made… for me? ” he says, his tone questioning, but still not giving away his true feelings.

Yes… And I had to pick it up before we left. That’s why I was late.

He’s so still and quiet, you start to think maybe he isn’t happy about it after all and trying to figure out how to tell you. But before you could press him further, the van pulls to a stop outside the hotel. The doors open and you Jungkook, and Namjoon all pile out of the van and head inside.

Everyone’s waiting in mine and Yoongi’s room. I think they’ll all want to know what happened, ” Namjoon says, leading the way towards his suite. His face is tight and you wonder if it’s because of his injury, or if it’s something else.

When you walk into the small living area of the suite, you find the rest of the boys all sitting tensely on the sofas. Jimin hops up from his spot and heads towards your little group, the rest of the guys rising in greeting. Jimin wraps himself around you, surprising you with the contact. You thought Jimin would be heading for Kook!

We were so worried. I’m glad you’re safe, ” Jimin says. His hug holds all the words you know he wants to say, all his worry and relief, but can’t. 

You melt a little into his tender hug and silently swear that Jimin is part angel.

Yeah, we’re glad you all made it safe, ” Tae says, swooping in to hug you next. The 95ers seem to have no qualms about touching someone else’s soulmate. And if you’re honest with yourself, it’s kind of nice.

You’re pulled further into the room and snuggled up on the couch between Hobi and Yoongi, Jungkook having been stolen away by Tae and Jimin. 

Yep. Could’ve guessed that. Jungkook gives you an apologetic look.

What happened, Noona? Why did you miss the flight?! How did you get here? ” Hobi peppers you with questions, disappointment and worry maring his features. Everyone else voices similar statements, all wanting answers.

You launch into your explanation for the second time this evening. You hope you won’t have to do it again.

I hope I can thank those gate agents somehow. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get that man’s information, ” you finish.

Wow. That’s crazy, ” Jin says.

I’m just glad there was one more flight leaving for Tokyo that day, otherwise I’d still be there! ” you say. The thought of having to spend another minute in that oppressive silence makes you shiver. 

And even though he may not have initially struck you as the most physically affectionate, Yoongi leans into you, seeming to lend to you reassurance in a less overt way. You appreciate his gesture.

But wait, what about you guys?! They told me about the sasaengs! How are all of you holding up?!

Jimin’s eyes darken a little and Tae squeezes around Jungkook to hold his friend’s hand.

“It was jarring. It’s been a long time since something like that’s happened. But we’ll be ok, ” Yoongi says.

Namjoon-ah got the worst of it though, ” Hobi pipes up, frowning at the leader, who’s been awfully quiet since you got to the room.

I’ll be fine, ” he says and waves them off. “ But has Sejin called you yet? Told you about what happened?

Namjoon looks grim and your heart sinks. The press coverage of your kiss must be pretty bad for him to look that stressed.

He hasn’t, but it’s all over twitter. It’s kind of hard to miss, ” Jimin says.

That kiss! Whaaa, ” Hobi teases, making noises of approval. This tips the guys into raucous ribbing, teasing their youngest member about your very public display of affection.

Jungkook’s ears go pink and he giggles nervously while trying to hide behind Tae. Tae isn’t having it though. He pulls the maknae forward and slaps him on the back, congratulating him on a job well done. 

Drinks! Let’s have a drink! ” Jin loudly suggests. “ It’s been a long day and we could all use one.

And food! I’m starving! ” Jungkook pipes up. Of course he’s starving , you think. That boy is always hungry.

Hearty agreements are sounded all around and Jin and Tae run out to ask some of the staff to bring them some dinner and drinks 

So what happens now, hyung? ” Jimin asks Namjoon when the others have returned.

Well, I don’t know. It depends on how management wants to handle it. I don’t think we can deny it was Jungkook. He’s too clearly recognizable, ” Namjoon says, shaking his head.

Do you think they’ll announce Jungkook’s soulmate status now? ” Hobi asks, looking between Namjoon and Jungkook.

Not a chance. They’d rather admit to an illicit affair than admit that Jungkook’s found his soulmate. Because if it’s a fling, he’s not permanently off the market, ” Yoongi says dryly.

Several of the boys nod and hum in agreement.

But what about Noona? You know how ARMY is. They’ll find out everything about her in no time, ” Jungkook says with a worried expression.

I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see. But for now, you know the drill. No posting on socials. Even your personal ones, ” Namjoon announces to the group. The boys once again bob their heads.

What should I do? Should I deactivate my social media accounts? ” you ask, suddenly nervous about people finding you.

Set everything to private for now. And maybe turn off messaging, ” Yoongi suggests quietly. “ People send all kinds of things in messages that are better left unread.

Again, a rumble of agreement rises up and the boys sadly nod their heads. A blooming twist of fear settles into your stomach and you open your phone. 

You’d forgotten to turn airplane mode off as soon as you’d seen Jungkook coming off the plane, so you turn it on. And within seconds, your notification bell is ringing wildly.

They guys all look at you with sad understanding. 

I think I’m going to go, uh, handle this in the hallway. My friends have called several times. I should touch base with them, ” you say, rising from your seat. Jungkook shoots you a panicked look. “ I won’t go far, I promise. I’ll be right outside.

You walk over and plant a sweet kiss on his forehead, trying to reassure him. But it backfires as the guys all make cooing noises and start teasing Jungkook again. 

You laugh as you watch him trying to wrestle them all simultaneously as you head towards the door.

Stepping into the hall, you open a video call to your friend Bridgette. She picks up almost immediately.

“GIRL! WHAT THE HELL!”

“Well, hello to you too.”

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear from you?! Not only do you completely stop talking to me for the last two weeks, but I wake up, only to find my twitter has exploded with pictures of you and JK doing the tonsil tango! So spill!”

“Yeah! Spill!” you hear Sammie say as she comes into view.

“Wait! What are you doing there?!” you ask.

“I came over as soon as I saw MY BEST FRIEND plastered all over the news. Stop stalling and share the details! What happened?!” Sammie explains.

So you launch into the explanation of what happened for the third time this evening. It’s starting to get really old, but hey, at least you’re getting more efficient at telling the story now. 

“And so, here I am, in Tokyo. You know, it honestly felt like some cosmic being was actively trying to keep us apart or something,” you finish.

“Oh my god,” Sammie says.

“Holy shit,” Bridgette murmurs.

“So what happens now?!” Sammmie asks, always the one who thinks two steps ahead.

“I don’t know. I have to make all my social media accounts private or deactivate them or something? But really, we’re just waiting for the company to tell us how they want to handle it.”

“Wow. That’s crazy,” Bridgette says.

“But can we talk about that KISS?!” Sammie says. “Holy hell, woman! It looked like you were about to ravage that boy in a public place!”

You blush at her words, knowing she was fairly correct.

“I may have gotten a little carried away…”

“You think?!” Bridgette scoffs.

“I know! I know! And I probably don’t have to say this, but just in case… Please don’t talk to the press about me. I’m sure someone will figure out who I am-”

“Oh honey, that ship has sailed. Twitter’s already got your name plastered up there with JK’s,” Bridgette cuts you off.

“Ah. Well, shit. Still, please don’t talk to anyone about me. Not even people we know.”

“Girl, do you think I want to incur the wrath of HYBE’s legal department? We signed NDA’s! Of course we’re not going to talk about you!” Sammie scoffs.

“Yeah, y/n? Never heard of her,” Bridgette says and it warms your heart to know that they’ve got your back. 

“Thank you. I promise I’ll try to do better about keeping in touch more, but I’ve gotta go. Dinner will be here soon. I miss you guys! So much!” 

“We miss you too, sweetie. Stay safe. Now go and take full advantage of those dancers' hips, if you know what I’m sayin’,” Bridgette says, waggling her eyebrows at you.

“Oh my god! That was literally only our second kiss! We’re definitely not at that stage yet!” you say, heat rising to your cheeks.

“Are you kidding me?! You’ve had unfettered access to that boy and you’re just now starting to kiss him?! What is wrong with you?!” Sammie says, her voice dripping with sass.

“It wasn’t like we were instantly in love or anything. He was so shy and awkward at first! Who am I kidding, we both were awkward turtles,” you say miserably.

“Well, it looks like you’ve gotten over it by now. Damn. I bet he’s an amazing kisser…” Sammie trails off wistfully.

“Hey, watch it. That’s my soulmate you're drooling over,” you tease.

“I kid, I kid. Alright, we love you! Stay in touch! Bye!” Sammie says, waving.

“And if you don’t go ravish that boy right now, I’ll swear to god, all armies everywhere will weep because of your missed opportunity!” Bridgette says as she hangs up the call.

You smile a little, thinking about how much you love your friends and how much you miss them. You’re about to head into the room when you notice a few staff members coming out of the elevator bank with bags of food and drinks hanging from their arms.

You hold the door open for them, the smell of the food wafting up your nose making your stomach growl. You realize that you hadn’t eaten anythingsince breakfast and. You. Are. Starving. You had wanted to call your sister to talk to her as well, but the temptation of fried chicken and gyoza are too great, and you follow them inside.

After all the food is unpacked and spread out, you and the guys tuck into the food with gusto, washing everything down with beer and soju.

Yah, there’s nothing better than chicken and beer, ” Jin says, rubbing his stomach. 

You’re so right, ” Hobi says.

Do you want any more of these, Noona? ” Yoongi asks, putting two more gyoza on your plate. 

I’m so stuffed! I couldn’t eat it! ” you wail.

I’ll take them! ” Jungkook says, leaping up from the floor by your feet to grab. You laugh at his eagerness, acting like they’d suddenly disappear if he didn’t grab them immediately.

Everyone remains sitting around the couches after dinner, continuing to drink. Everyone seems to be a little tipsy. Well, some more tipsy than others. V and Hobi are practically passed out on the couch. 

But the conversation still flows and  you can feel all the guys actually relax around you, like it’s the first time they’ve all let their guard down around you. And it feels nice. It’s like they’ve finally adopted you into their little Bangtan family. 

Hey, do you remember that time Taehyung-ah got lost in Sweden?! ” Namjoon says, a little loudly.

We were so worried for you, and you were out there having a great time, exploring, ” Jin scolds.

V looks up sleepily and nods before putting his head back down, prompting everyone to burst out laughing. Namjoon leans over as he laughs, but loses his balance. He flings his arms out to steady himself and unfortunately for you, his flailing knocks over a can of beer, spilling it down your front.

Everyone jumps up to help clean up, while Namjoon drunkenly apologizes.

It’s ok! It was an accident! But I think I’ll need to go change, ” you say, shifting to stand up.

Here, ” Yoongi says, holding out a large oversized t-shirt for you. You hadn’t noticed him head over to his suitcase to pull out an extra for you, but the thoughtful gesture has your heart squeezing for the tender rapper. He’s been extra thoughtful this whole evening and you just can’t let his kindness go unrecognized.

Awww, thank you Yoongi! This is one of the reasons you were my bias for so long, ” you blurt, the alcohol loosening your lips.

And then there was silence as seven heads looked at you, mouths open.

Yoongi is your bias?! ” Jimin shouts incredulously. Everyone looks at you in shock. Yoongi just looks stunned, but smug.

Wait, no! ” You start to try to defend yourself, but they guys aren’t letting up.

I can’t believe Yoongi is your bias and Jungkook is your soulmate! ” Hobi laughs loudly.

What do you mean this is one of the reasons? And what are the other reasons! ” Tae perks up, a smile lighting his face.

You finally relent. “ Just that he is always silently taking care of you guys, ” you mumble, trying to hide your face. 

You can’t believe that you let it slip. You knew they’d tease you about it. “ But I also loved his musical genius… amongst many other reasons. And I didn’t say he was my bias now ! ” you shoot back, defensively.

Oh sure, sure. His musical genius. It’s not like he’s the only producer in the group, ” Namjoon grumbles.

Yah! She has good taste! ” Yoongi says, receiving jeers and playful punches.

You notice that Jungkook has been suspiciously silent and you wince internally. You hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings. You look at him, trying to catch his eye to reassure him. But he stands up and straightens with a sigh.

Well, I think it’s time I take my soulmate to bed!” Jungkook announces, staring teasingly at Yoongi. He turns heated eyes on you. “Let’s go, Noona.

You’re stunned by the sheer amount of sex appeal rolling off him right now. You nod your head mutely, stumbling over yourself. You drop Yoongi’s shirt thoughtlessly on the couch behind you.

Goodnight, everyone, ” Jungkook says cockily, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the room behind him. 

As soon as the door shuts behind him, he traps you against the wall.

So, Yoongi-hyung’s your bias, huh? ” he whispers low into your ear, pressing you into the wall.

I said he was . Was! He isn't any more! ” you squeak, your voice coming out breathy and desperate as he nips at your ear. Need is building between your legs, making you squirm.

Oh? Then who is it? ” he teases. A whimper escapes you as he noses your neck, breathing you in.

I should think that’s fairly obvious, ” you whisper. 

He grinds against you then, pressing his lower half into you. You tilt your hips up, searching for the friction he’s offering. His mouth latches onto your neck and begins to suck on a spot near your soul mark. It sends tingles running down your neck, all the way down to your toes. 

And that’s when your sassy side decides to come out to play. You blame the alcohol.

It’s Jin of course, ” you tease, trailing your fingers through his hair.

I’m sorry. What? ” Jungkook pulls back to look at you, his wide eyes burning into yours, unamused. You can tell you’ve ignited his competitive streak. 

Just like you’d hoped.

Oh yeah. I’ve realized I’ve got a thing for the vocal line now. ” 

You really just can’t help yourself, can you?

His hands, which had been holding your hips, squeeze tightly, as if in warning. You writhe into it, relishing the tight contact.

Well, maybe I should go get him for you, ” Jungkook says, loosening his grip and stepping back.

Wait! ” you blurt, tipping your hand. Curse that muscle bunny, calling your bluff!

You dip your eyes down so you can look up at him through your lashes, trying to regain some of your lost edge. “ You know exactly who my bias is.

I want to hear you say it, ” he rumbles, leaning back into you, close enough for your lips to touch. But he doesn’t, not yet. 

He’s waiting for you to speak.

So you give the man exactly what he wants.

“It’s you, Kook. You know it’s you, ” you whisper. 

His lips reconnect with you, only this time, he claims your mouth. His tongue dashes out and licks your lips. You open for him in response. You simply cannot get enough of the taste of him, chasing his swirling tongue with your own. 

That is, until you think to suck on his lip piercing. 

His answering groan is enough to tell you his thoughts about it.

Without breaking your kiss, he bends down and grasps the backs of your thighs, making you jump up and wrap your legs around his trim waist. Hands splay across your ass, kneading the soft flesh there and dipping dangerously close to the folds between your legs. Folds that are dripping wet by now. You moan into his mouth, pulling him even closer.

Your kiss is messy and rushed, desire making it sloppy in it’s haste. Jungkook starts walking towards where you assume your room is, not actually knowing which one is yours, but kissing you all the while. 

He pauses in front of a door and breaks away from you, breathing heavy.

Shall we continue this inside? ” he asks with an eager smile.

You don’t even bother with an answer. You simply swoop down to kiss him again.

Notes:

So, next chapter won the poll. I was honestly shocked. But, the readers have spoken! So next chapter it is! But I satisfied my selfish desire to have some schmexiness, too. So all's well that end's well. (I've actually written out the whole next scene, but it was going to make this chapter a monster, so I'm leaving it for next week. Kisses!!)

Ngl, I did not get started on this until Saturday. I actually did an inventory on how the story's progressing and checking it against my notes, when I realized my original ending wasn't going to work. Like, at all. So I had to rework it. And while it's different from what I originally intended, it's not too far off either. I hope y'all will like it. Also, I only did the bare minimum editing pass over this, so don't judge me too harshly!

Thank you for reading! See you next week! It's going to be a steamy one. ;)

Chapter 23

Summary:

Sorry, not an actual update to the story

Chapter Text

I wanted to come on here and reassure you that the story is not dead. I have been hit with some life and work stuff all at once and I don't have any free time to write right now. That coupled with some extreme writer's block has kept me from updating regularly.

I hope you can be patient with me as I navigate through the next few weeks. I'm hoping that by the time Yoongle's birthday rolls around, things will have died down considerably. Thank you so much! I really appreciate all the continued support for this story! I'll be back soon, I promise!!

In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of Jungkook I took at the LA PTD concert from Los Angeles last year as a "thank you for reading my drivel" gift. I mean, just look at that adorable bun! :)

 

Cutie Koo

Chapter 24

Summary:

In which you struggle to wake up.

Notes:

Anything in bold is meant to be in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't, is supposed to be in English and intentional.

Also, thank you for all your kind words on my last post. <3 I have the best readers!! ㅠㅁㅠ

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Your alarm goes off the next morning and you fuzzily reach over to turn it off. You don’t know why you have to get up, but you vaguely remember something about a schedule and needing to be up and at it early.

Your mind is foggy with sleep and you can’t quite process being up yet. You lay in bed with your eyes closed for a few moments, trying to find consciousness. It’s a struggle.

You move to roll over to get out of bed, but are stopped by a very strong, tattooed arm wrapped around your waist. The movement of the bed stirs Jungkook’s sleeping form. A strong arm tighten around you, pulling you closer under the covers. He nuzzles into your neck and murmurs, “ Go back to sleep.

His voice jolts something in your memory, but you can’t quite remember. Honestly, a lot of last night is still a blurry mess in your mind. You barely remember making it back to the room, let alone how you ended up in bed without your clothes.

WAIT! Without my clothes?!

You do a double take at your body under the sheets, fully awake now. Sure enough, the sheets slip over your bare breasts and stomach. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize you’re still wearing your underwear from last night.

Heart racing, you fidget under the covers, unsure of how to make it to your suitcase and into the bathroom without Jungkook seeing you. You may have been bold enough to show him your boobs last night, but you’re definitely not that brave now!

Your phone goes off again, a second alarm sounding Jimin’s sweet voice singing Serendipity .

Jimin, go away, ” Jungkook mumbles, pulling you closer into his chest. His arm bends and his hand comes to rest exactly on top of your breast, cupping it tenderly in his sleep.  

Your heart breaks into a gallop, racing from the casual, but intimate contact. Your eyes dart over to see Jungkook’s sleeping face. It’s completely at ease, guileless and almost childlike. His brow is completely smooth and relaxed, his lips slightly parted as his slow breath draws in and out. It would be sweet if you weren’t currently suffering from a heart attack.

Your mind races over how to extricate yourself without waking up the beautiful idol next to you. Go fast, like ripping off a bandaid? Or go slow, oozing your way out of his touch? 

Oozing seems like a much better idea in the moment, so you start to slowly shift under him. You manage to get your legs off the bed and reach for the ground with your toes. The motion shifts your upper body enough that it stirs the slumbering man next to you. Jungkook’s hand squeezes your chest, drawing a squeak from your throat. 

What should I do?! You’re caught like a deer in muscle bunny shaped headlights.

Your heart ratchets up to a more erratic rhythm as his fingers, as if drawn inexplicably by a magnet, find your nipple and begin to pinch and roll it. It sends a jolt straight to your core, creating a throbbing ache between your thighs. You squeeze your legs together, trying to get some relief. Praying to whatever deity that can hear you, you fervently beg that you can extricate yourself before you let out a moan.

Your mind races back over the night’s cataloged memories, trying to supply some reasonable explanation as to why you’re almost completely naked with your soulmate’s hand massaging your breast. But it comes up completely blank. As if someone reached into your head and the memories of that time from your head.

Jungkook’s fingers continue to tease, becoming more and more earnest in their movements. Your breath hitches in your throat as you stifle a keening sigh. You know he’s got to be almost awake by now from the way he’s working your nipple, and you panic! You’re not ready for Jungkook to see you naked.

Your inner goddess unhelpfully supplies the thought that he’s probably already seen your boobs, so why even bother covering up? But you can’t quite process that thought yet. Even though he may have seen it last night, doesn’t me you remember it whatsoever! As far as you’re concerned, nothing happened except for you stripping off your clothes, crawling into bed, and falling straight to sleep, right? Right?!

Your inner goddess shakes her head in exasperation.

And just when you’ve finally pulled your wits together and are ready to make a break for it, you feel lips suckle on your bare shoulder.

“Good morning,” Jungkook says in heavily accented English. His voice is raspy and low and the sound goes straight to your already throbbing and drenched center.

You look over to find his eyes still closed. A smile plays on the corners of his lips as he snuggles into you a little more.

“Good morning,” you say tightly.

Sleep well?

You hum out a noise of assent, the sound coming out short and clipped. He opens one of his eyes, squinting at you.

Everything ok? ” he asks. He’s finally registering your rigid posture and wide eyes.

Yep! I’m just going to… ” you say quickly, voice raised. You fling the covers back and over his head as you make a mad dash for your suitcase. You grab it quickly while covering yourself with one arm and bolt into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. 

You take a moment to breathe and collect yourself. Arms brace against the edge of the vanity and you stare into your face in the mirror. What greets you are frantic eyes and a mess of bedhead hair. If you’re being honest with yourself, you look like you’ve been well and throughly fucked. You raise your hands to your heated cheeks, feeling the rush of blood under your fingertips.

What exactly happened last night?! Did we…

Try as you might, you simply cannot recall anything past when you left the group. The last thing you vaguely remember is making out in the hallway. And given your state of undress this morning, your brain finally accepts that something must have happened last night. 

But how exactly are you supposed to ask him about it without looking like a total idiot?! 

Oh hey, JK! How’s it going? Have fun last night? Good, because I can’t remember anything past sticking my tongue down your throat in the hallway like a horny teenager, so if you could just fill in those gaps for me, that’d be great, thanks!

Nope. Absolutely not.

Shaking your head, you turn and get into the shower, deciding you might as well have your complete and total mental breakdown in the warm embrace of the shower instead of freezing your tits off standing naked in the bathroom.

You emerge a few minutes later fully dressed, toweling your wet hair to find Jungkook’s naked torso lounging back against the headboard. And dammit if he doesn’t look like a model ripped straight from a Calvin Klein underwear ad, abs slightly flexed and looking for all the world like he just woke up that way, effortlessly handsome and sexy. 

Oh wait! He did!  

Your mind grouses at the unfairness of it all. 

He’s looking at his phone and when he notices you, he looks up with the biggest, brightest smile.

All done?

You nod in answer, not quite trusting your voice at the moment. It’s still reeling from the full effect of Jungkook’s naked abs.

“Alright. I’ll hop in. I was just ordering us some breakfast. What would you like? ” he asks, acting like waking up with a boob in his hands is the most natural thing on the planet. 

How can he be so calm?!

I don’t think we’ve got time for room service this morning. We’ve got to get to the stadium soon, ” you say thickly after clearing your throat.

“Pardon?” he says somewhat cutely in English.

“Stadium. Soon!” you respond in simple English, raising your voice.

His face falls a bit. “ Ah, I forgot. Thanks for the reminder. Another time, I guess. ” 

No problem! ” you say, a bit manic. You’re trying to cover up your extreme discomfort, and failing miserably.

There’s a beat of silence. 

And you stare at each other. You, standing there like the awkward girl you are. Him smiling at you like he hasn’t got a care in the world.

You shift from foot to foot, not sure what to do or say next. Jungkook regards you, taking in your tight posture and hesitant words. His face slowly falls from a state of blissful happiness, into confusion and concern.

And after another ungodly long and uncomfortable pause, he speaks.

Did I- Is there something wrong? ” 

The despair coloring his voice shatters your heart. You fold your arms and drop your head, not wanting him to see the evidence of your discomfort any more.

He rises out of the bed, the covers falling away. You raise your eyes at the sound of the snapping sheets, and are greeted by the overwhelming sight of Jungkook.

Stark naked. 

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you immediately drop your gaze again, boring holes into the carpet with the strength of your gaze. You’re flustered beyond reckoning, to the point where you’re pretty sure you’re either going to spontaneously combust, or suffer a complete mental short circuit, or both. 

Probably both.

Why won’t you look at me? Please, Noona, what’s wrong? ” he pleads, reaching for you.

His feet enter your field of vision, stopping inches from your own. His warm hands wrap around your upper arm as he ducks down to catch your eye. 

So you decide to put on your big girl panties and look him in the eye. The eyes, only!

You close your eyes as you raise your head, not trusting yourself not to openly stare at him if you were to catch sight of him as nature intended.

“Nothing’s wrong, really. I’m fine! ” you say, louder than was necessary. 

Even an imbecile could tell you were lying through your teeth. And an imbecile, your soulmate is not.

Really? It doesn’t look like it, ” he hedges.

His eyes are beseeching, looking for the answers you’re too embarrassed to give. You don’t want to admit that you drank too much last night, let alone that you possibly don’t remember your first time together … The thought that you wouldn’t have such an important memory makes you both sad and slightly queasy.

But the naked man apparently has the patience of Job, because he just stands there, rubbing your arms, and waits for the truth. 

You let out a sigh of defeat, deciding honesty is probably the best policy. But only probably.

It’s just… It’s just that I- Idon’trememberlastnight , ” you rush out.

Consternation clouds his face as he processes your words.

Huh? ” he asks.

I don’t remember what happened last night, ” you say a little more clearly. You start drowning in mortification.

Nothing?

Nothing.

So you don’t remember… ” he trails off, gesturing between you. 

“Nope! It’s one big haze, ” you admit, trying to use humor to ease the tension in the room.

What do you remember? ” He doesn’t look one bit uncomfortable with the fact that he’s still standing there, completely naked in front of you! Your traitorous eyes dip briefly down to his naked chest, before snapping back up to his face. But not before you catch a sight of Jungkook’s morning wood from your periphery. It’s enough to make your brain short circuit.

It takes you a minute to gather yourself to speak. “ I remember leaving Joonie and Yoongi’s room. I remember... I remember kissing against the wall and then heading into the room. But everything after that is a blurry mess.

He nods, his eyes darting around the room, thinking. “ I see.

Indeed.

Momentary relief floods you. Telling him wasn’t so bad after all.

And then there’s a shift in his gaze, a slight lift of his eyebrow, something almost predatory. His eyes lock onto yours, fire building in his gaze. It roots you to the spot, making you freeze.

Should I refresh your memory? ” he says darkly, stepping towards you. 

He doesn’t touch you, though. Just gets close enough to start your skin vibrating from your soul bond. Instead, he waits for you to invite him in. Waits like a panther, poised to pounce the moment you open the door.

Heat builds in your core once again under the scrutiny of his gaze. And it’s like his sexy side has come out to play. The one he keeps hidden at all times, except for when he’s performing. The one he saves for when he’s making love to ARMY for the camera.

You know the man can flip that sexy/cute switch any time he wants. Hell, how many hours have you watched fan cams and clips of his iconic stages? 

The difference is that you’ve experienced that rush many times, all from the safety of physical space and technology. 

And now, you’re experiencing firsthand, completely focused on you, and you alone, without the barrier of a screen. It’s exhilarating as it is overwhelming.

It makes you want to whimper and nod yes, your inner goddess cheering you on from within. Your mouth goes dry, thinking about what he could be thinking of recreating. What pleasures lay in store for you.

He leans in closer, still not touching you, and cocks his head to the side. It drops close to your neck. He’s so close, you can feel the tickle of his breath on your neck as you stand there, frozen to the spot. From excitement, or fear, you’re not entirely certain.

Lips ghost over your throat, barely dragging across your pulse point. Shivers run down your spine and your core clenches in anticipation or pleasures to come.

But then your brain snags on the reason you’re up so early as another alarm sounds from your phone, this time the opening notes of War of Hormone float into the room.  

“Stadium,” is all you’re able to whisper in English, your mind completely scrambled, and your throat clenching against your vocal chords.

He pulls back, his brow scrunched in confusion, allowing you to draw in a shaky breath. When did you start holding your breath?!

Eh? ” he asks, cutely cocking his head

Stadium! We’ve got to get to the stadium this morning for rehearsal, ” you clarify.

Ah, ” he says, nodding and stepping back to give you space. “ Well, offer still stands. Any time, any place, ” he says, his eyes returning to yours. The fire in his gaze returns. Fire and the promise of your utter ruin. 

It makes you weak.

He steps around you and strides towards the bathroom. You turn, and watch the beautiful sight of Jungkook’s bare bum as he walks away from you. 

Fuck…

Notes:

First of all, thank you for all your kind words on my last post. I've been sick for two weeks and as an audiobook narrator, when you lose your voice or your coughing nonstop, it means no working. (Did I mention that I'm a narrator? Write what you know, amirite?) I'm starting to feel a little better, but the prolonged chest cold exacerbated my asthma and I've been struggling.

ANY WAY!!! On to the chapter! Whaddya think? Oh, the good old, "I can't remember anything from last night" trope! It's a classic for a reason! ;) I'm sure you'll find out what happened last night... eventually. Heh heh heh...

This chapter came out WAY more sassy than my usual writing. I don't know what came over me. Ha ha ha! I hope you enjoyed it. I sure enjoyed writing it! Which is saying a lot because I've struggle bussed with my writing for a while now. I'm glad I was able to finally break through and get something out.

Thank you again for your support and your continued readership. I'm sot sure what I did to deserve you guys. OH! Also, I can't believe it's got over 10k hits now! Crazy!! I will continue to try my best to write something worth your time. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

P.S. - I love reading and replying to your comments, so make sure you drop down to say hi! ^ㅁ^

Chapter 25

Summary:

In which you attend a meeting and a sound check.

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. If there's dialogue that is not bold, it's in English and intention (most likely).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You take Jungkook’s shower as an opportunity to escape. You write him a note telling him you’ve already headed down to Joon’s room for the morning meeting before they make their way to the stadium. 

It’s the coward’s way out, but you’re not sure your willpower is strong enough to endure a full frontal assault from the Jeon Jungkook.

You knock tentatively on Namjoon and Yoongi’s suite door and are greeted by Yoongi’s sleepy cat-like face. He grumbles out what you assume is a good morning and steps aside to let you in.

Almost all the guys are already gathered. The only missing members are Jimin and JK. The assembled group of managers and members wave their greetings to you as you enter before returning to their conversations. You slip onto a sofa off to the side and check your bag. You pull out the new script for your next project and begin reading to pass the time.

You’re getting lost in the world of a Joseon era romance when Namjoon plops down next to you.

“‘ He dipped fingers into the slick heat of her…’ Holy shit, what are you reading?! ” Namjoon squawks, reading over your shoulder.

You laugh, seeing his flushed cheeks and shocked face. “ My next project. It’s a real bodice ripper. Fun, huh?

Uh yeah… F-fun… What’s a bodice ripper? ” he stammers.

It’s a really racy romance novel. Sometimes of the historical variety. And to think, I get paid to read this kind of stuff. Out loud! Can you imagine? ” You let out a bark of laughter. 

Clearly Joon doesn’t find it nearly as funny as you do, because it looks like his brain has short circuited. It makes you laugh even harder, drawing the attention of the group.

What’s so funny, hyung? ” Taehyung asks, wanting to be let into the joke.

I think I broke his brain with my next book, ” you laugh.

What kind of book is it? ” Hobi asks, head cocked.

Joseon era erotica, ” you say with the straightest face possible.

It takes a moment for your words to sink in, but when they do, the boys are howling with laughter. Joon looks like he’s getting redder and redder by the moment.

How can you read that stuff?! ” Jin whines.

With immense pleasure, ” you tease, making the oldest member blush as well.

What are you all laughing at? ” Jimin asks, walking into the room with a wet haired Jungkook hot on his heels.

Oh, just that Kook-ah’s soulmate reads smut for a living, ” Yoongi deadpans. It causes another eruption of laughter from the group. Your eyes flit over to catch Jungkook’s reaction, only to find him regarding you with great interest and red tinged ears. Something about his gaze gives you the feeling that he’s not going to be forgetting this any time soon.

Jungkook takes the other seat next to you on the couch and leans back, snaking an arm around behind you on the couch. You smile at him coyly, trying to remain somewhat discreet in this roomful of people. But the knowing smile he sends to you doesn’t exactly help the butterflies that are now running laps in your belly like a Nascar race.

Now that all the guys have arrived, the managers start their briefing. At one point in the meeting, one of the newer managers asks Namjoon a question. But he doesn’t answer, seemingly absorbed in his phone. You nudge his side with your elbow, jerking your head towards the waiting manager.

Joon jerks the screen away from you, panicked. Guilty at having been caught unawares, he hastily stuffs his phone into his pocket to respond.

I’m sorry, can you repeat the question? ” he asks tightly.

We wanted to know if you would do the vlive after the concert tonight, ” the manager repeats.

Uh, yes. That’s fine, ” Joon says, flustered at being caught out.

Excellent. I think that’s it for concert related matters. There’s just one last thing Sejin wanted to discuss, ” the manager says.

Your attention drifts over to the manager you’ve come to loathe. You won’t soon forget how he left you completely in the lurch on Jeju. But you try to keep your face completely passive, not letting your disdain for the man show.

Yes, thank you. I wanted to talk to you about the press surrounding the… airport incident here in Tokyo, ” Sejin says, his eyes coming to rest on you and Jungkook. You can feel Jungkook tense up next to you.

It’s not good. There was no way we could possibly contain the leak. That coupled with the attack in Jeju has not left Bangtan looking very favorable in the media, ” Sejin continues. Though he’s addressing the group, it feels like he’s focusing his words directly at you. You can practically feel the daggers flying from his eyes.

How bad is it? ” you ask. You’re not completely certain you want to know. Ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

Let’s just say that we will be doubling security around you. In fact, it would be easiest for everyone if you were to stay in the hotel for the duration- ” Sejins says greasily. But he’s cut off.

What? ” Jungkook says.

I said, it would be easiest if y/n-ssi were to stay in the hotel for the remainder of our time here in Japan.

Manager-nim, that hardly seems fair. You’re essentially imprisoning her here! She’s done nothing wrong! ” Joon defends.

“Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong?! Do you realize how hard our press team has had to work to keep the worst of it offline?! ” Sejin yells. “ Y/n-ssi’s actions have created a stain on not just Jungkook-ssi’s reputation, but everyone in Bangtan. People are asking for refunds for their tickets! Netizens are questioning Jungkook’s morals! Claiming he’s supposed to be a role model! In fact there’s a petition circulating to cancel tonight’s concert!

Sejin pauses his rant, turning to pace the room, letting the weight of his words settle over the group like an oppressive cloud. Your gut roils. Partly because you hate that something you’ve done has left a black mark on the boys. But mostly because you know you did nothing wrong. You weren’t the sole participant in this “scandal”. In fact, Jungkook was quite the enthusiastic partner. 

The fact that the manager is trying to assign blame to you and not to Jungkook doesn’t slip your notice. It makes your distaste for the man grow even more.  

You open your mouth to speak, but Sejin cuts you off. “ Y/N-ssi, this is a direct result of your lack of ability to follow instructions. If you had just come with the group, as instructed, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have been separated and therefore, not left behind. Are you actually able to do anything you’re told? Because it seems that since you’ve been here, it’s been one disaster after another.

You’re struck dumb. 

Because he’s not entirely wrong. 

And because it has the ring of truth, it allows the rest of his venom to seep into your mind, sending you into a spiral. 

You had been about to tell him off. About to tell him that you weren’t the only one involved in the extremely public display of affection. 

But in your gut, you think he’s right. If you had just waited, had the necklace sent later, none of this would have happened.

Tears begin to swim in your eyes, and you feel the swirling pressure of an anxiety attack weighing you down. Your breaths come quickly and you shut your eyes, willing yourself to stay strong, to stay present.

You’re free falling, plunging into the depths of the worst parts of your mind… 

Until you feel the warm squeeze of Jungkook’s arms around your shoulders. It’s enough to prevent the marble of your negative train of thoughts from going down its well worn track. You lean into his side, borrowing his strength. A soothing wash of emotions that aren’t yours push at the edge of your mind. 

His eyes find yours and you can see it. See how much he cares for you. How much he wants to take your pain away. 

And instead of resisting the consoling feelings trying to overtake you, you let them wash over you. Cocooning you in love, protecting you from your worst enemy: yourself.

I think you mean our actions. Ours . Not just hers, Manager-nim, ” Jungkook grinds out, tearing his gaze away from yours. Sejin swells, flustered.

While we should have been more discreet, can you blame us? Soulmates, separated! We lost our hearing! The feeling of relief when I could start to hear things again… I’ve never felt so relieved in my life.

Jungkook reaches out to wipe away one of your tears. His fingers a soft and gentle as they brush away the droplets gathered on your cheeks.

What’s done is done. There’s no benefit to assigning blame right now. What are we going to do about it now? ” Namjoon says, picking up the conversation from your other side. 

And suddenly you notice that all of Bangtan has circled around your couch, rallying around you and Jungkook. A show of solidarity and support. Heat rises to your cheeks as a rush of gratitude overwhelms you.

Sejin’s shoulders slump. He knows he’s not going to win this battle, and his frustration and misery is palpable.

You’re right, I’m sorry, ” Sejin says quietly.

What? ” Jungkook asks. You look at Jungkook, trying to gauge his response. Was he asking because he wanted Sejin to apologize again? Or because he couldn’t hear him? 

A sinking feeling in your stomach makes you feel like it’s the latter.

Sejin clears his throat and raises his voice. “ I said I’m sorry. ” He bows deeply to you and Jungkook. 

Thank you. And as far as where Noona will be today, it’s simple. She will travel with us. Only bad things happen when we’re separated, ” Jungkook says with a ring of finality.

I agree. It makes the most sense. What if Kook-ah needs the energy in the middle of the concert? ” Yoongi pipes up.

Exactly. We haven’t had to perform like this since Jungkook’s been bonded. He could need his soulmate nearby to recharge, ” Hobi agrees.

And if she’s with us, we won’t need to split up the security team, ” Taehyung supplies.

She’ll need a disguise, ” Jimin counters. His concerned expression threatens to break your heart all over again. What nation did you save in your past life to deserve this level of concern and protection from the Tannies?

I’ll handle it, ” Jin says, shooting you a wink. You let out a small bubble of laughter.

Thank you, ” is all you’re able to squeeze out, your throat threatening to shut from an entirely different set of overwhelming emotions.

Of course. We’d do nothing less for family, ” Namjoon says, nudging you with his shoulder.

You revel in the fraternity  you feel with these young men. You know they’ll have your back no matter what, from now on. And that reassurance wipes away the lingering swirl of self doubt. You know that whatever comes in the future, Bangtan will be right behind you when you say so.

A throat clears in the room and you’re suddenly reminded that you’re not alone. In fact you’re in a room surrounded by staff members and managers, who are all looking extremely uncomfortable.

“Well, now that that’s settled, is there anything else you wanted to discuss? ” Namjoon asks, trying to draw the meeting to a close.

Sejin shakes his head, then dismisses the staff members, shooing them out of the room. When everyone except you and the guys leave, an awkward silence settles over the room. You’re still too overcome by the recent events to speak, and it looks like JK isn’t ready to talk either.

Nervous glances are exchanged around you when Jin stands up. “ Well, I think I’ll go sort out your disguise now. Come on guys, let’s give them a minute, ” he says.

One by one, the guys file out, all except you and Jungkook. The silence hangs for a moment before it’s broken by your long exhale.

I’m going to strangle Sejin one of these days, I swear, ” you mutter. Jungkook only nods. 

You wait for him to say something. Anything. But Jungkook just sits there, the gears grinding away in his head.

Hey. Hello! Anyone in there? ” you prompt.

Hmm? ” he says, waking from his reverie.

What are you thinking about?

Oh, just the press stuff. I was thinking about how we, ” he says motioning between the two of you, “should be handled. I don’t know what the right answer is.

I should think that one is fairly obvious, ” you snort.

Ne?

Well, honesty is always the best policy, right? It’s not like either of us did anything wrong. We’re soulmates. The sooner the public knows, the better.

He sits silently for a moment. “ Yes… And no, ” he hems

What do you mean, yes and no? ” you snap back. How can he not be on the same page about this?!

Well, on the one hand, outing our relationship puts a target on your back. You’d never have a normal life ever again. People will hound you. And I don’t want you to have to experience that. At least, not yet. It’s… It’s not pleasant, ” Jungkook replies.

He pauses, letting his words sink in a moment. It hadn’t taken long for the realities of being with a celebrity to sink in. But you hadn’t thought that you’d be outed so soon. Your mental readiness for the abrupt shift in life hasn’t caught up with you quite yet. 

Somehow, you’d deluded yourself into this haze of being associated with BTS, while also not actually being a part of them. Together, but not really. You could walk around outside without a bodyguard and no one would look twice. 

At least, you used to be able to. But you definitely can’t do that now. And that truth is finally sinking in. Finally pulling you out of that haze, and thrusting you into the harsh rays of your new reality. 

It isn’t comfortable.

But neither is it completely overwhelming, like it used to feel. You’ve had time to process your association with the band. Time to think about how your life will change, for the better and for the worse. 

You just wish you’d had a little more time in the haze. 

Kook-ah, while I am grateful that you want to protect me, we knew this would happen eventually. Isn’t it better not to hide? Not to have to lie to ARMY? ” you say after a moment’s silence.

“I don’t know that the company would agree. One reason you hardly ever hear about an idol's soulmate status is because they want to foster the illusion that we’re available. They want the fans to fall in love with us. And that’s harder to sell if they’re completely off the market, ” Jungkook says, the distaste of his words turning his lips. “ I don’t like it, but that’s how things work.

But you guys are past that, surely. You have a strong enough fan base that would love you regardless of whether you were bonded or not, ” you argue.

You’d think. But it’s more like an ingrained way of thinking. Like, it’s the only way they know, so why would they change? ” he shrugs.

Because we don’t live in the dark ages. And you guys are allowed to date now! There’s nothing in your contract prohibiting romantic relationships, right? ” You’re starting to get agitated.

No, there’s nothing wrong with dating. Because dating won’t last. Even marriages don’t last forever. But soulmates? ” He trails off, looking dubious.

You are astounded by what you’re hearing. What he’s just accepting!

You open your mouth to argue further, but Jin pokes his head into the room and reminds you that the buses are leaving soon, holding out your “disguise”, distracting you completely. 

It’s hideous. It’s a monstrosity of baggy, oversized and brightly colored designer menswear. Complete with bucket hat and sunglasses.

Uh, Jin, I thought the idea was for me to blend in so that I’m not seen? ” you say, raising an eyebrow at the outfit he and Taehyung have laid out for you.

This?! This is casual! ” Jin retorts, holding up the colorful and giant sweatshirt.

No, this will draw more attention. I think if anything, I should dress as one of the staff members. I’ll put on a hat, mask, and a badge and walk in with them, ” you laugh, shaking your head at Jin and Tae’s idea of “incognito”.

But! This outfit is amazing! ” Tae pouts.

“Oh my god, no! Did you guys honestly think this would work? ” you say, still laughing and shaking your head.

You hear a smattering of grumbles from Jin and Tae as they gather up their disguise and leave. However, you snatch the sunglasses and plain bucket hat out of their arms as they leave, promising them to wear at least those things. You just hope that any photographers don’t notice the designer labels on them while you’re walking with the rest of the coordinoonas.

 

Namjoon POV

 

Namjoon had watched as Jungkook’s soulmate filed into the stadium ahead of them, clustered inside a group of female staff members. Her disguise had proved to be incredibly effective, allowing Noona to blend in seamlessly with the group of staff members entering the stadium.

Namjoon had nervously eyed the photographers hanging around the staff entrance, wanting to snap pictures of him and the guys, but perhaps even of her. He had breathed a sigh of relief when she had slipped through the gates, while the photographers had all been busy snapping pictures of the guys.

She had split off from her group and met back up with them in the dressing room to wait. She looked so cutely nervous, sitting and waiting for them, that Namjoon had wanted to sneak a picture of her. But he kept his phone safely stored in his pocket, not wanting to invade her privacy.

His gut gave a little twinge at that thought, though. Because he had definitely downloaded several of her audiobooks to listen to later. They weren’t his usual read, being romance novels. But he couldn’t help himself. He’d wanted to listen to her narrate a love story, where he could imagine himself as the guy who ends up with her. It was probably going to be torture for him in the end, but it was the closest thing he could get to actually being in a relationship with her. 

The director gives out their cues, bringing Namjoon’s mind back to the tech rehearsal he should be paying attention to. He’s correcting their mistakes and guiding them through the choreography that is completely unrelated to their dancing. It’s all the cues for when they’ll move from one side of the stage to the other, where the cameras will be, even when to pick up water bottles to baptize the crowd. 

The guys are bopping around the stage at 20% effort so as to not hurt themselves, or get too tired before the show. It’s almost clumsy looking to Namjoon’s eyes, knowing how powerfully everyone will execute their moves later.

The director calls for everyone to get set for Black Swan and they gather into position on stage. The backup dancers flood the stage, and Namjoon falls into the familiar rhythm of the dance. It’s become second nature, the steps, when to duck in and out of the backup dancers as they shuffle around and create giant wings around each of them. He just hates all the feathers that usually end up in his mouth somehow.

The music transitions into the beginning of the actual song, the guys falling into their starting positions, like puppets on a string. But when Jungkook starts singing, it’s so off key, it’s laughable. He must be pulling a prank , Namjoon thinks and chuckles at the maknae’s antics. He must be feeling more stressed than he’s let on if he’s pulling this kind of stunt during a rehearsal. 

But Namjoon stops laughing when he notices Jungkook’s face. It’s screwed up in frustration as he tries and fails to blend with the group. 

Namjoon’s eyes follow Jungkook as they all keep performing, trying to get a better view of what’s happening. All the guy’s faces are a mix of concern and frustration. They aren’t sure if he’s joking or not either, but they will continue to perform as if nothing is wrong. Because that’s what they’re supposed to do. The show must go on.

They continue for a few more bars, Jungkook still struggling to find his notes, until the director calls cut. 

Jungkook-ssi, is something wrong? Do you need your monitors adjusted? ” the director's hesitant voice rings out into the stadium over the speakers.

Jungkook nods and vigorously pumps his finger skyward, indicating he wants the volume cranked. That’s not normal for Jungkook, Namjoon thinks. Normally he’s one that wants less in his in-ears. 

Jimin walks over to the maknae and places a hand on his shoulder to whisper something. But Namjoon isn’t close enough to hear what he said. Jungkook just shakes his head, waving him off. 

What is going on with Jungkook? Namjoon thinks. He’s been off all day. But that is kind of to be expected after all the ordeal they had to go through yesterday. I wonder if he’s just tired?

Jungkook apologizes and indicates that he’s ready to go again. They reset for the beginning of the song and concern starts tightening in Namjoon’s gut as he watches and hears Jungkook struggle once again. 

Are his in-ear monitors completely broken? There has to be a reasonable explanation as to why the strongest singer of their group is suddenly struggling. Namjoon thinks back over the morning, trying to place what could be going on. He thinks about the rehearsals that morning. Everything seemed to go fine. Jungkook made a few mistakes, but not more than any of the other guys. 

And then Namjoon remembers how Jungkook has asked people to repeat themselves several times this morning. It’s been subtle, sometimes joking, but it’s been more than usual. His mind then supplies a visual catalog of all the instances where it seemed like Jungkook was lost in his own head and was brought to attention by one of the guys nuding him, or physically pulling him to where he needed to be.

Jungkook, the big adorable kid he is, had acted playfully every time, effectively making his behavior look like one big joke. Like all he was trying to do was be the comic relief for the day. 

And unfortunately, it worked most of the day. He had fooled almost everyone into thinking he could hear just fine. But Namjoon suspects that the truth was quite the opposite.

Now, Namjoon can see the first signs of anger and frustration on the faces of his teammates. 

And they are done.

Hobi, entering dance leader mode, storms over to Jungkook, a grim look on his face.

“Come on, Kook-ah. Let’s stop this. We don’t have much time, ” Hobi scolds. His face is stony, with scary Hobi making an appearance. Hobi may be all sunshine and rainbows for the crowd, but Namjoon well knows that the dance leader can get angry sometimes. And it’s downright terrifying to be on the receiving end of that wrath.

Yeah, Jungkook, let’s get back to work, ” Jin says, dropping a hand onto Jungkook’s shoulder and squeezing.

Jungkook drops his head and nods, apologizing. 

Ok! Now, everyone into their places one more time, please! ” the director says.

Jungkook turns to head back to his mark when he sees his soulmate coming up the walkway.

Just a minute, guys! ” Jungkook shouts over his shoulder. “ Hey Noona, what’s up? ” 

Jungkook is all smiles for her and she jogs closer, holding out a water bottle for him. Namjoon’s heart gives a squeezing leap at her sudden appearance. He decides to capitalize on the moment and walks over to join them. That way he can analyze Jungkook’s actions a little more closely. 

At least, that’s the excuse he’s telling himself.

Is everything ok? ” she murmurs, speaking low.

Jungkook pulls his in-ear monitors out. “ Sorry, Noona. Couldn’t hear you. What’d you say? ” 

It doesn’t exactly confirm Namjoon’s theory, but it doesn’t dismiss it either. So he continues to observe him.

Is everything ok? ” she says again quietly, holding out a bottle of water.

Thanks, ” he says simply, taking the water and drinking deeply.

“Is everything ok? ” she repeats for a final time, raising her voice so she’s almost shouting. It draws everyone’s attention.

I’m fine. Why are you yelling? ” Jungkook says, flushing.

She sends him a firm look, silently challenging his answer. Jungkook refuses to hold her gaze for very long and drinks again. Namjoon can tell he’s trying to stall, to skirt the issue. He’s lived with the man long enough to know his habits. And this ain’t normal.

“I’ve got to get back. Thanks again, Noona. See you later, ok? ” he asks, leaning in to brush a kiss on her cheek. 

At first Namjoon is completely stunned by the casual display of affection. It is one thing to see it in private. But it’s completely different now that all the staff are watching. Namjoon’s head swivels around to take in the reaction of those around them. It’s a mix. 

So far, everyone on staff has been informed of Jungkook’s status and signed an ironclad NDA that would literally bury that person and their entire extended family in so much debt, it would take generations to recover. Hybe is very good to their employees and they have an excellent screening process that weeds out all but the most loyal to work with BTS. But things do get leaked sometimes.

Noona jogs off towards the wings, not actually leaving the stage, and Namjoon can’t help but be hyper aware of her presence. Everything in his body feels like it’s tuned to her. Almost annoyingly so. And it takes up a large part of his mental capacity to focus on not focusing on her.

The rehearsal continues and Jungkook continues to struggle to hit his notes. But since the monitor’s levels were raised, there’s some improvement. Jungkook seems to be pouring extra energy into dancing, seeming to try to make up for his mistakes earlier. The energy makes Namjoon almost forget about the suspicions about Jungkook’s hearing.

Almost.

After the run through, it’s time to start getting ready for the fan’s sound check and that evening’s concert. They all head below the stage to where the dressing room is located and start getting dressed. The guys are heading behind portable screen to get changed. Normally they’d just strip and change in the open. But with Noona hanging around, it doesn’t feel right anymore. 

Speaking of Noona, Namjoon watches her stand at the periphery of the room, trying to take up as little space as possible. Her fingers are twisting themselves around a necklace she’s wearing, the nervous tic betraying her otherwise outwardly cool appearance.

He wants to comfort her, maybe find something for her to do, because she looks so lost. Like she wants to help, but knows she’ll just end up in the way. 

But stylists are swarming around him, touching up his hair and makeup, holding up options for him to wear. It’s all his own clothes, just the clothes the company has deemed appropriate. They have to be the right labels, the right seasons and colors… All because they have an image to uphold. 

He’s worked hard to maintain his image. They all have. They’ve done everything they’ve been asked of in the name of keeping face. And while in the past few years, they’ve been allowed a certain amount of leeway and freedom. But when it comes right down to it, he knows that every single one of them would choose to put the group, the company, first if asked. And if that means having to hide their soulmates away, then they’ll do it. Because it’s what’s best for the group.

Watching Noona hovering around the periphery makes him wonder if that’s what their soulmate’s lives will end up becoming. One long wait after another, being shunted to the side until their mates can give them a few precious moments of their time. Always having to half hide in the shadows.

Namjoon thinks that maybe it’s better that the rest of them haven’t found their mates yet. Because he’s not sure he’d want his mate to have to go through what Noona has. She’s handled it as best she can, but he can see the toll it’s taken. She looks tired. Hell, they both do. Shouldn’t they be bursting with energy at this point? They’ve been bonded for almost a solid month now. Jungkook should be in the best shape of his life!

Instead, Namjoon’s eyes swivel to where the maknae sits. Despite his carefree attitude, Namjoon can see the stress peeking through the cracks of his energetic facade. Jungkook’s stylists are dabbing more concealer under his eyes to cover the dark circles that have formed. Circles that weren’t there two weeks ago. In fact, now that Namjoon is looking at the man critically, everything, from his hair to the color of his skin, looks off. Dull and sallow. When did that happen?

Namjoon’s stylist steps back, letting him stand up from the chair and hands him the outfit he just chose. As soon as they’re all dressed, they’ll start heading toward the stage again. The sound of many feet and cheering fans, both inside and outside the stadium, create a constant rumble of sound that makes it hard to hear all the things being said. And Namjoon worries.

He watches as Jungkook heads over to speak with his mate. His head is bowed low to her lips, and although Namjoon can’t exactly hear what is being said, he can get the gist. She’s not happy. And Kook is brushing her off. Like what she has to say isn’t important. 

Namjoon’s hackles rise. The thought of anyone treating Noona with anything less than reverence and respect is maddening. He wants to dash over to Jungkook and shake him. Doesn’t he realize what a precious gift he has?! 

Jungkook gives Noona’s arm a squeeze and walks out of the room, presumably heading towards the stage. Her eyes immediately snap to Namjoons once Jungkook has left. The beseeching, exasperated look she gives him causes his feet to move of their own accord, whisking him to her side.

“What’s up?” Namjoon asks in English, to keep their conversation as private as possible.

“I don’t know. It’s just… Jungkook…” she says, trailing off as she looks at the door he recently exited through.

“What about him? Is he being a jerk? I swear I will knock him upside the head if he’s being a dumbass,” Namjoon chuckles. He wanted to make it sound like a joke, but he’s one hundred percent serious about the statement.

“No, not really. I was pestering him and he was just trying to politely let me know that I don’t have to worry.”

“Worry about what?”

“It’s just-” Noona’s eyes slide back to his face. “It’s just that I think there may be something wrong with Jungkook’s hearing. But he won’t admit it. And… And I’m worried about him, Joon.”

Namjoon felt her words hit him like a punch to the gut. Not only were his suspicions all but confirmed in his head, but it was upsetting Noona. And Jungkook was trying to hide it from her. The thought of it made his chest clench with worry.

“I’ll talk to him, ok?” Namjoon wanted so badly to reach out and rub her arms, to reassure her that everything would be alright. But he clenched his fists in his pockets instead.

“I don’t know, Joonie. It sounds like he isn’t going to open up about this…” she hesitates.

“I’ll keep an eye on him. And when the time is right, I’ll talk to him about it, ok? Please don’t worry. Everything will be alright. I promise,” Namjoon says, putting as much warmth and concern into his voice as possible.

Noona simply nods her head and walks over to the little TV screen monitor that shows the entirety of the stage. It’s gutting to have to leave Noona like this, but the managers and stage hands are hurrying him toward the stage. He’s the only member left in the dressing room at this point, all other activity having ceased at some point during their short conversation.

Namjoon catches up with the guys on the stairs to the main stage and is handed a microphone. He goes through his little pre-show ritual, taking a deep breath and reciting some affirmations, and follows everyone up the stairs.

Before his head can even clear the level of the stage floor, the noise of the crowd has swelled into a roar. Nothing like what they’ll hear in a few hours, but still substantial. Namjoon plasters a fake smile on his face and waves as he walks out. 

He does his best to make eye contact with as many fans as he can, but with so many of them, it’s difficult. In some ways, he yearns for the smaller intimate venues with smaller crowds. Ones where he could look into the faces of every single person present. 

But, such is the nature of their success. Namjoon is proud of what they’ve managed to accomplish and loves being about to share his words with the world. They’ve always been inside him, swirling and tumbling, fighting for position as they spill out of him when he’s composing lyrics. And he’s so grateful to their fans for letting him share them. 

Hobi starts rattling things off to the crowd in Japanese, but Namjoon doesn’t take much notice. Instead, focusing on Jungkook, looking for any indication of fatigue. Any indication that his hearing is compromised.

The music starts and the noise from the crowd swells to the point where he can even hear it in his in-ears. The notes of their new song cues up and Namjoon looks to the maknae, waiting for his opening notes. It’s a tricky song that has him singing acapella for a few bars before the beat comes in.

Normally Jungkook could eat that kind of music for breakfast. But today he struggles. It’s like listening to a badly auto tuned version of Jungkook’s voice coming from the stadium sound system. Jungkook pumps a finger upwards, asking for more as he continues to flounder. 

The sound engineers are scrambling, and Namjoon casually walks over to Jin.

Hyung, can you take Jungkook’s part for now? ” Namjoon asks. He’d do it himself, but he can’t hit the high notes like Jin or Jimin can. 

Jin, picking up on Namjoon’s worry, jokingly calls for a cut, allowing the sound engineers to pause and regroup.

Yah! That part is so pretty. Almost as pretty as me! Hey! I should sing it! I am World Wide Handsome after all! ” Jin teases. He grabs the young man by the shoulder, and gives him a little shake, prompting a shaky smile to cross Jungkook’s lips.

You’re right, hyung. Of course a song so beautiful should be sung by you! ” Jungkook admits, smiling.

The music starts up again and Jin takes Jungkook’s parts as best he can while Jungkook walks over to the edge of the stage to confer with the sound guys. Namjoon wanders over to listen to the conversation during the break between songs.

What’s up? ” Namjoon asks.

I think my in-ears are broken. They’re looking to see if there’s a back up pair somewhere, ” Jungkook says loudly.

Here, let me listen, ” Namjoon asks, holding out his hand. But Jungkook hesitates, holding his monitors to his chest a little more tightly. 

He eventually does hand them over though, and while the fit isn’t perfect, the sound is coming through crystal clear. Jungkook’s tight face tells him exactly what he needs to know. He isn’t thrilled to have been caught hiding this from everyone.

Well, let’s have them take a look at these for a bit and you’ll just sit out singing the rest of sound check, ok? ” Namjoon says with authority. He’s the leader, and it’s his responsibility to take care of the band. 

Even if that means benching one of them. 

Namjoon turns back to the crowd. “ It looks like Jungkook-ah’s monitors aren’t working properly, so he won’t be able to sing for the rest of sound check today.

A chorus of awws rises up around them, making Jungkook giggle. He over acts his devastation and ARMY eats up his antics like a starving person at a buffet. 

They continue the rest of the short sound check and then retreat below the stage to prep for the concert. Jungkook catches Namjoon on their way down the stairs.

Hyung, ” Jungkook pleads.

Let’s talk about it later, Kook-ah, ” Namjoon replies, tightly. The emotions swirling around inside him are a complicated web of anger, fear, concern and annoyance. How could he think of hiding this from us?!

But- ” Jungkook starts.

No, Jungkook. We need to talk about this somewhere private, ok? Come on.

Jungkook’s eyes glisten for a brief moment before he drops his head and follows his leader through the doorway of an empty break room, and locks the door behind them.

Notes:

So, how are we feeling? JK's gotten caught trying to hide something! Sneaky bunny isn't as sneaky as he thought. I wonder what will happen?

And the dreaded Sejin returns. I honestly want to punch him sometimes. Any ways, stuff is brewing. Lots of stuff. And you know what happens when you increase the pressure in a contained vessel, right? ㅇ_ㅇ

And we got another section from our president! I imagine that would be Joonie's EXACT reaction to learning a friend of his was narrating smut. And for the record, that is NOT stuff I read. I did one medium spice Regency novel and learned it was WAY outside my comfort zone. Apparently I can read it, I just can't say it out loud. Lol!

Thank you for reading, my friends! Are any of you on twitter? Wanna be moots? Lemme know! I recently joined the twittersphere and would love some new friends! But we can always just hang out in the comment section here too. I love talking with you guys!!

Any way, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 26

Summary:

In which an announcement is made, and a memory returns.

Notes:

Everything in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bold is in English and most likely intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Everyone had returned from soundcheck. Everyone except the two people you are most anxious to see. You scan the heads of the people swarming around you, only to come up empty. Where could they be?

You walk over and sink onto a couch in the middle of the room next to Yoongi, whose head is tipped back, eyes closed, getting in a quick cat nap. The image makes you chuckle. He really is like a grumpy old grandpa cat.

Time stretches on, making the waiting uncomfortable. And in a fit of bad decision making, you decide to log onto your fan account on twitter. Your brace for the possibility that someone had made the connection between your personal account and your stan account. But thankfully, it seems like it’s still safe. 

You scroll past what seems like hundreds of videos, all from several angles, of your passionate airport reunion. It turns your stomach to see that intimate moment plastered with memes and gifs, and you dread reading any of the comments under them. You know how feral stan twitter can get.

And to your surprise, it’s actually a mixed bag. A lot of older, long-time fans are fully in support of you, defending you and JK’s right to privacy, saying that they’re grown ass men and can make decisions for themselves. That it’s about damn time they had someone in their life.

But there’s also a healthy dose of vitriol being flung left and right. People claiming that you had forced yourself on him and that what you don’t see is that Jungkook pushed you away from him after the videos cut off. Lies about your life are being circulated as truth, retweeted and spread as if it were gospel. It’s enough to make your head want to explode.

Taking a deep breath, you give yourself a moment to remember that while there’s a lot of misinformation out there, you know the truth. You didn’t force yourself on him. You aren’t a lying hussy who is desperate for attention. You aren’t a crazy sasaeng who attacked Namjoon and then followed him to Tokyo to break Jungkook away from the group. You aren’t the bad guy.

You’ll just make yourself sick looking at that poison,” Yoongi says, bringing you back to reality.

I know. I just… I couldn’t help myself. My imagination was actually worse, if you can believe it,” you mutter.

I can, actually. Just don’t dwell on it too much. It isn’t worth your notice,” he says, before closing his eyes once again.

There’s something oddly comforting about Yoongi. How he is able to show you just enough reassurance to let you know you’re going to be ok, without smothering you with it. You sit in companionable silence, appreciating the wise “old” man’s silent support. 

You resume your scrolling, and this time your attention catches on the news on the protests going on outside the stadium. You stupidly click on the link, only to find venom aimed, not at you, but all of the guys. 

The article outlines how they were supposed to be this beacon of moral rightness for the youth of today, and that by Jungkook engaging in such a public display of “wanton behavior”, it was going to corrupt the young impressionable fans who make up a large percentage of their fan base. 

You know this garbage is just that: garbage. They’re placing too much on these men’s shoulders and laying responsibilities at their feet that they never asked for. You scoff at the outrageous demands they are making, by asking the event organizers to cancel the concert and requesting for a formal apology. 

And suddenly, your blood begins to boil. You want nothing more than to find these people and explain just how wrong and demented their demands are. You want to cry from the rooftops that the both of you did absolutely nothing wrong and that they have no claim over Bangtan’s personal lives!

“It’s ok. Just let it go,” Jin’s calming voice drifts over your shoulder. You’re startled by both his uncharacteristic use of English and to see him hovering behind you.

Hobi immediately breaks into song across the room, catching the end of Jin’s words, singing the iconic line from Frozen. Tae and Jimin immediately join in and the three start dancing and hamming it up in classic, chaotic Bangtan style.

You know exactly why they’re doing it. They’re used to this level of scrutiny, this level of accusations and hate. 

But you’re not.

You’re not used to the hostility. And as much as you can tell yourself that it doesn’t bother you or that you’ll be ok, you know you’re only kidding yourself. You’re gutted by the public’s reaction. And a tiny part of you had hoped they would be a little more understanding and accepting of the boys growing up. You hate being scrutinized and judged without everyone knowing the whole truth. 

But the guys know exactly what you’re feeling. And they’re trying to help you through as best they know how. 

Through unmitigated crazy energy.

It brings a faint smile to your lips. Which only breaks into a full open, laughing smile when Yoongi pops up from the couch, from what seemed like a dead sleep, to belt out, “LET IT GO!” 

The room descends into laughter, even the staff members joining in the tension-breaking moment. And it feels good. Feels good to laugh away the intensity and stress that’s been building all morning.

The room settles down, however, when Namjoon and Jungkook enter the room.

Sorry to interrupt karaoke time, but I have an announcement,” Namjoon says.

Everyone settles, and the room becomes silent, a stark contrast to the silliness of just moments before.

Jungkook won’t be performing tonight,” he announces to the room.

What? Why?” Jimin’s angelic face is crumpled with concern.

Because he’s having trouble hearing. That's why he’s been off all day,” Namjoon replies. Jungkook is standing mutely behind Namjoon, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

What? What’s wrong? I thought he got his hearing back!” Tae asks, leaning into Jimin’s side.

Namjoon turns to look at Jungkook, who finally raises his head. Namjoon indicates with a jerk of his head for Jungkook to speak.

Actually, I can still hear, but there’s a loud ringing in my ears. It’s making it hard to hear things clearly,” Jungkook says, looking gut-wrenchingly guilty.

His face pulls you from your seat, the desire to hold him, to soothe him, overwhelming your patience. You draw close and wrap your arms around his middle, burying your face into his chest. The instant flood of energy calms your frazzled nerves, just as Jungkook lets out a shuddering sigh. 

I’m sorry I tried to hide it. I just didn’t want everyone to worry. I thought it would get better. I thought-” Jungkook started, but his voice caught in his throat, cutting off the sound.

Hey, look at me, ” you gently prod. “ It’ll be ok. We’ll figure it out. I know we will.

Jungkook looks skeptical, but nods his head. He steps out of your embrace and addresses the group. “I’m sorry to let everyone down like this.

Jungkook hangs his head, miserable. The rest of the group exchange some kind of silent communication, because Taehyung rushes to embrace the young man, telling Jungkook that they’ll be able to make it work, and not to worry. Hobi and Yoongi immediately launch into figuring out what they’ll need to change in the choreographies that night, while Jin and Jimin start talking over who will sing some of Jungkook’s parts that night.

The Tae clings to Jungkook, dragging him over to the makeup chairs, doing his best to distract Jungkook from his misery.You let him go reluctantly, know that Taehyung will be able to comfort him more effectively than you can right now, having known him far longer. 

You watch his retreating form, hoping and praying that everything goes smoothly tonight for the rest of them and scrambling to think of how to comfort Jungkook.

He’ll be ok, just give him some space. He’ll sort himself out,” Namjoon says over your shoulder, coming up behind you to watch the maknae as well.

I know. I just worry. It’s just, nothing’s normal. First his soulmark, now his hearing-

“What do you mean, his soulmark?” Namjoon says, cutting you off. The abrupt switch to English jarring you into spilling the information.

“Mine is starting to show, but his isn’t. I first noticed it on Jeju,” you say.

Namjoon turns to look at you, eyes searching the little amount of skin you have on display for evidence of your bond. So, looking around the room to make sure no one is watching, you pull down the scarf you have taken to wearing almost daily now.

“I wondered why you were wearing a scarf every day now!” Namjoon jokes, but you can see how forced it is, like he’s trying to seem casual, and failing miserably. 

You pull the gauzy scarf away from your neck. Dragging the fabric across your skin, you show off the darkening mark on your neck. 

Namjoon’s eyes widen. 

Your mark has been darkening little by little every day, finally making its shape evident. A faint swan-like shape is gliding around your neck, its graceful neck curling into a half heart shape over where your heart’s blood thumps just below the surface of your skin. As it is, it’s still fairly light, only a few shades deeper than your natural skin tone. Eventually it’ll darken into a brown so deep, it’ll almost appear black. 

Namjoon continues to stare, making you feel a little flustered to have him staring openly at your neck. So you quickly move to cover your mark back up, but his hand rises to stop yours.

“Wait,” he says, coming closer to you. His eyes are intense, boring into the spot on your neck where the graceful bird rests. He brings a finger up to brush the mark, drawing a fingertip lightly across the skin there.

The contact sizzles, lighting your nerves up like sparklers, drawing a gasp from you. Your eyes search Namjoon’s face, looking for an explanation. But his gaze stays locked on your neck.

“I’ve had a mark like this for a long time now. This exact shape…” His voice is barely a whisper as he continues to draw the shape of the swan on your neck. Your breath is coming in and out shallow as you’re barely able to process what he’s just told you. 

Namjoon leans in closer, drawing himself almost completely flush with your body, trying to get a better look. The proximity to his very large, very male presence makes your heart race. Making your head spin with the closeness of him.

“It’s part of what inspired me to write Black Swan,” he finishes, his inscrutable eyes finally finding yours. 

He finally seems to realize how close he is to you, and clears his throat as he takes a step back. A shaky breath passes through your lips and you struggle to compose yourself in the wake of his sudden intimacy.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean- I just- I’m sorry,” he fumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You don’t trust your voice at the moment, and only nod, reaching up to replace the scarf around your neck. You’re saved from having to respond after the task is completed, when a stylist calls Namjoon over to sit in the makeup chair to get ready for the night.

He makes a hasty retreat, but you can see that the clumsy giant is flustered. 

Yah, god of destruction, keep it together. We’re already one member down. We don’t need to make it two!” Jin teases when Namjoon stubs his shin against a coffee table and consequently fumbles into one of the stylist’s product towers. The entire cart tips over, spilling hair sprays, clips, combs, makeup, and brushes all over the floor.

Sorry! Sorry!” Namjoon calls out, bending down to help clean up the mess. His cheeks and ears are aflame with embarrassment and the rapper does his best to move carefully the rest of the time before the concert starts.

And only for a moment does you mind lingers on how it could be possible that he could have a birthmark that looks exactly like your soul mark. Because it’s a flurry of activity in the green room with people running around getting everything ready and putting the final touches on makeup, hair and costumes. The frenetic energy of the room completely drives the thought of Namjoon from your head.

With only 10 minutes left before the concert starts, the group finally makes their way to take the stage, leaving the dressing room quiet and mostly empty for the moment. Jungkook comes to settle next to you on the couch, leaning forward to watch the monitors of the stage with you as the VCR starts up and the noise from the crowd rises to a fever pitch. 

Jungkook’s shoulders inch towards his ears, as the stress of being left behind continues to eat away at him. Without even saying a word, you reach over to start rubbing his shoulders. You’ll get that tension out of him one way or another. 

A groan leaves his lips as your thumbs get to work. In fact, it seems like a constant string of noise escapes him as you continue to work your way lower, trying to work out every knot you come across. 

But try as you might, you can’t help the direction of your thoughts. Not with sounds he’s making! Thoughts drifting to how this all might feel with your bare hands on his naked skin. How smooth it would be, what his muscles would feel like slipping beneath your fingers. How it would feel to have your body pressed against his.

And suddenly, unbidden, a flash of the night before enters your mind. 

His mouth molds itself around yours, your lips only leaving each other to get a better angle.Your senses are filled with him. Every sound, every touch, every taste. All filled with the resonant energy,pulsing around the two of you. His tongue pushes against yours, devouring you and sending your head through the clouds.

You’re vaguely aware of the hotel room closing itself behind you as he carries you towards the bed. And as he sinks down on the bed, settling you into his lap, you take the moment to explore the planes of his neck, biting and lightly tugging his skin. His head dips back as he moans through your ministrations.

Oh shit, don’t stop, ” Jungkook moans. His hands splay across your back, sliding up and down, leaving sparkling energy in its wake. You grin into his neck as you continue working his neck like it’s your last meal. 

His hands slide lower and lower down your back until they cup the rounded globes of your ass and squeeze. He works the flesh there, digging his fingers into your softness.

God, I love your ass, ” he whispers, squeezing you tightly. You gasp as the sensation rides that line between pain and pleasure. 

I could say the same about yours ,” you murmur, locking your gaze onto his. “T hat thing is an absolute masterpiece.

Jungkook chuckles and leans in to capture your mouth once again. You can feel him, not just physically, but something like a phantom limb. Something attached to you, but not quite you. And you can feel his pleasure. Feel the building sensations swelling between and around you. It’s a heady mix.

Craving more, you reach down to whip off your shirt, craving the feeling of his skin on yours. Once your head is cleared of the fabric, you catch Jungkook staring at your body, reverently committing it to memory. But the scrutiny makes you feel self conscious.

“What?” you say nervously, making moves to cover yourself somewhat. He catches your hands and holds them away, allowing him to get an unobstructed view of your semi-naked torso.

I’ve dreamed of this, imagined it so many times… But it’s better than anything I could come up with, ” he says, trailing his fingers up your back again, this time without the added barrier of fabric between you. Goosebumps rise on your skin at the tickling sensation.

You imagined me? ” you whisper, taken completely by surprise. 

Of course, ” he said, like this should be self-evident. “ How could I not?

Squealing at his sudden confession, you dip your head to hide your face in his neck. He takes the opportunity to mouth at your neck, suckling little wet patches into the skin. 

How could I not think of the day I got to kiss you? Touch you? The day I’d get to taste you? ” He punctuates his words with his mouth on the bend where shoulder melts into the curve of your neck, making you sigh with pleasure. You press your hips into him, and are pleased to find him hard beneath you. You grind into him, relishing in the friction you find.

The pressure on his cock is enough to prompt him into further action.

What do you say we lose this, ” he says, trailing a finger across your budding nipple, poking its way through your bra. The sensation makes you jerk as a pool of wetness collects between your legs.

He dips his head down to trail kisses along your collarbone and down toward your breasts. With a quick reach behind you, you pop open the hooks and shrug the lace bra off your shoulders, hasty to remove every barrier between you and his lips. Your nipples pebble up at the sudden cool air, perking up into attention for him.

It doesn’t take him long to suck your nipple into his mouth, flicking and rolling the sensitive bun between lips and tongue. 

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He seems to know exactly how to tease the sensitive nub exactly how you want it. But with the soulmate connection, that additional swirl of energy around you, his mouth on your nipple causes everything to be heightened. It’s like you’re being doused in fire and ice, simultaneously. And you can tell you’re already soaked.

He brings his fingers to roll the other neglected bud while continuing to attack the first nipple. Your hands need something, are searching for anything to grasp onto. They dip down between you and brush against the straining tent rising between you. He groans at the touch, encouraging you to palm him in earnest. You press down and over him through the fabric and relish the hot heaviness you find.

Jungkook releases your nipple from his mouth, and there’s a fiery determination in his eyes. He picks you up and flips you around so you’re laying on the bed so fast, it makes your head spin. 

As your body is reorienting itself, Jungkook whips his shirt off, diving back down to kiss you as he’s pushing down the tops of his pants. You reach up to help him, grasping desperately to push the clothing down his legs, all the while kissing him with reckless energy. And soon, he’s hovering over you in nothing but his boxer briefs. 

Hands roam over the new territory, your fingertips dragging over the long lines of his body. God, he is so gorgeous. Years and years of training have sculpted his body into perfection and you can’t wait to feel every inch of him. 

He pulls back to sit on his knees and his hands drift south to the tops of your pants. The fiery look is replaced by one of hesitancy… Uncertainty.

Can I? ” he asks, pulling the waistband down just enough to reveal the tops of your panties. You nod, reaching to help him, but he gently pushes your hands away. The frantic energy of the moment before is gone, replaced with a simmering heat as he takes his time pulling your pants free of your body.

Your mind reels as he takes his time, kissing his way down your torso and legs. How on Earth did you get here, well on your way to being naked, with Jungkook driving you crazy between your legs?! 

Well, the several bottles of soju might have a little something to do with the explanation. But things have been so stop and start for you, physically speaking, since the beginning. Always getting interrupted, something or someone always seeming to get in the way between you. 

And now that it seems that all barriers are down, the runway cleared, Jungkook isn’t wasting any more time taking that next step. It’s clear he wants you. That he loves the sight and feel of your body against him. 

And your mind can’t quite process his desire for you. 

You spent so many years with the douche canoe that was your ex, practically killing yourself for his approval, only to never feel like you measured up. Never pretty enough, never smart enough, never satisfying him. 

And to have someone accept you, just as you are, without asking for anything else, makes you realize how precious and beautiful what you have with Jungkook is. He never demands that you please him, never demeans you so that he can feel better about himself. He asks nothing of you, except to be with you, to take care of you, to cherish you.

It makes you want return his overwhelming generosity and put his needs before your own. To show him how much he means to you. 

And something settles into place in your brain, a little lightbulb turning on in a dusty, cobwebbed corner of your mind.

That’s exactly how it should be. A partnership between two people, where both member's goal is serve to serve and take care of the other. 

And suddenly you're jerked back into reality, as he drags your hips towards the edge of the bed. 

His dark eyes catch yours as he sinks to his knees on the floor. And with a devilish grin his nose dips between your legs, kissing you through your underwear. 

Electricity, white and hot shoots through you, making your nerves go haywire. Even though he’s only barely touching you, it’s like you can feel him everywhere, the sensation of touch being multiplied over every inch of your skin.

Breathing your scent in deeply, he goes to work, mouthing you over top of the fabric. And it takes every ounce of your control not to reach down and shove his face deeper into your lower lips. You fist the sheets as you roll your hips up to meet his face, fighting the urge.

He settles himself between your legs, reaching up to wrap his arms under and around your legs, drawing them up, so that you’re on full display for him. 

You’ve never felt more vulnerable, but safe at the same time.

I think you’ve ruined this pair of panties ,” he says, grinning at you with a cheshire cat grin. He picks the damp fabric away from you, hooking a single finger underneath the elastic.

It's not entirely my fault, ” you retort.

Oh? Well, I guess I should take some responsibility. Let me clean you up, then.

He gives your underwear a tug, pulling them to the side. And when you cock a questioning brow at him, he simply grins wider as he dips his mouth down to you, licking a stripe across your core.

You writhe as he gets to work on you with his tongue, first licking broad strokes up and over you, before dipping to your clit. He starts with small swirling motions before flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

You know, everyone talks about Yoongi’s tongue technology, but they don’t call Jungkook the golden Maknae, for nothing. You’re certain Jungkook could give the rapper a few lessons in how to effectively use said technology.

Oh, God, Kook, don’t stop, " you breathe. You reach down to run fingers through the man’s hair, earning a pleased look as your fingernails lightly scrap his scalp. He moans into the touch, amplifying every effort he’s already making. 

You’re losing yourself in the sensations you feel swirling around inside, when you feel his hand draw close to your dripping cleft. A single finger pushes itself into you as he changes up his rhythm, adding sucking into the mix. 

You’re about the snap. Pumping in and out of you slowly, you feel every inch of his finger drag against your walls. You can feel yourself hurtling towards the edge of oblivion and it isn’t long before you feel yourself falling, the sensations of your orgasm exploding across your skin and igniting into fire that swirls around you, emanating from your belly.

He slowly pumps you through the clenching contractions of your pelvic floor and your mind slowly returns to the present.

I can’t believe I just came from one finger,” you laugh, throwing your arms over your face.

I can, " he says cockily, rising up from the floor to crawl over top of you.

You gently swat at his arm as he dips his mouth to kiss you, letting you taste your orgasm on his lips. It’s a musky, heady mix and you’ve never been more turned on. 

Well, allow me to return the favor, ” you murmur against his lips.

You catch him unawares as you rise and flip him over onto his back, reversing your positions in the blink of an eye. He looks completely taken by surprise at this new books you, his wide doe eyes widening.

You settle off to the side and make a show of pulling down his boxer briefs with your teeth, dragging the clothing down his powerful thighs. You listen as you hear his breathing catch in his chest as you finally pull his straining cock free of the fabric. 

The sight of him, bared beneath you, is one you’ll not likely be forgetting any time soon. Much like the rest of him, his cock is beautifully shaped, a thick, veiny length that is slightly curved up an upward direction, all culminating in a shiny, purpling head. 

As you flick his briefs across the room, you take in the bead of precome that’s already threatening to drip off his tip. You cannot wait to taste him any longer. And instead of using a finger to pick up the drop, you decide to sink your mouth overtop of the entire head, lips closing tight around him.

He moans at the sudden inundation of stimulation, bowing his hips off the bed and even farther into your mouth. You open a little wider to ease the passage, allowing him to fill your mouth. Swallowing down around him, you taste the salty slick pre and know that you’ll be craving it’s taste for the rest of your life. 

You bob your head up and down his shaft, dragging your tongue up the underside of him, causing him to let out a string of expletives. Who knew Jungkook would be such a vocal lover?

A-ah, oh, Noona! Please! ” he grinds out with panting breath.

You release him from your mouth. “ Please what? ” you quip, feigning innocence, before attacking him with renewed fervor.

Agh- Please! Please don’t stop! ” he whines.

He reaches down to run a hand over your head, coming to rest at the base of your skull. He’s holding you, but not pressuring you, not restraining you. Only seeming to encourage you. 

And you glady rise to the challenge.

You sink your mouth down him further, feeling him at the back of your throat. His moans and groans let you know you’re on the right track as you continue to suck him. His free hand comes up to grasp himself and pump in time with your bobbing head, and the sight of him grasping himself breaks something free inside you. 

You have to see him come, want to watch him unravel before you.

Your hands drag down to cup his balls as you pick up the pace and strength of your sucking. It’s almost as if you can feel the energy around the both of you double, swirling faster and faster in the air around you.

Jungkook’s moaning becomes deeper, almost musical, as he loses himself in the pleasure of your combined touch. And suddenly his hips tighten and stutter.

Noona! Ah, shit! I’m- I'm coming! ” he heaves.

You swing a leg over him him and grind down on his thigh, watching him come undone. And at the first taste of sperm in your mouth, you pop off, watching him spurt into the air. Reaching out, you join his hand in pumping him through his orgasm.

His hips jerk as a final glob of spunk oozes from his swollen tip. And you sigh as you realize that you’re about to come again, just from watching him. You grind yourself on his thigh as he pants.

He must realize what you’re doing, because you feel a hand on your breast. You catch his eyes, seeing a dark gaze on his face. He squeezes down on your nipple and growls, “Come.”

It’s all you need. You’re hurtling off the edge again, as you grind on his thigh. The sparkling lights at the edge of your vision and the dancing electricity of the physical contact with your soulmate sends you on the biggest orgasm of your life, the normal sensations having been amplified by the miasma around you.

It takes you a minute to come down from your high, slowing your rocking hips. When you come back to reality, you gaze down at the sight of Jungkook laid out underneath you, pleasure and bliss plastered across his entire expression.

“Wow,” he says, breathing heavy.

“Yeah,” you say, equally breathless. You break into a fit of giggles as you lift yourself off him. You take in the combined glistening patches on Jungkook’s body from both of your orgasms and blush at the sight. Seeing his come plastered across the tight planes of his abs makes you glow with pride at a job well done.

I think we made a mess, ” you say, indicating the cooling splotches on his body.

Best mess I’ve ever made, ” he groans, lifting an arm to his forehead and laughing a bit.

Let me get you cleaned up, ” you say, kissing him and sliding off the bed. You head into the bathroom to get a warm washcloth. As the water runs in the sink, you catch a sight of yourself in the mirror and you could swear you are glowing. Eyes bright, and face glistening with a light sheen of perspiration.

You look well and thoroughly fucked. 

And it’s a good look on you, you decide.

You come back to the present with startling force. And you can feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you realize that your hands are still on his back and that Jungkook is staring at you.

Everything ok?” he asks.

You resume working your fingertips into this muscles as you squeak out a tight, “Yep!

His brow crinkles in his cute, lost bunny-type expression, and he looks to be about to press the issue when a flurry of activity bursts into the room. 

Everyone is back to change costumes for the next set. It’s a swirl of activity around you and Jungkook, but it seems to move around you in a blur. Around you, but not affecting you in the slightest, your gazes remaining locked on each other.

You lean in closely and whisper in his ear, “I just remembered what happened last night.

He stiffens with a jerk under your hands, eyes going wide, as he regards you with shocked surprise.

Really?” he says, a flush creeping onto his cheeks.

Uh huh. And I think I’m going to need an encore,” you whisper.

Notes:

Im just going to leave this here and go. Hope it was worth the wait. 😘😘😘

Chapter 27

Summary:

In which you talk with Jungkook, leave the hotel, and head to the airport.

Notes:

Everything in bold is spoken in Korean. If there's any dialogue left un-bolded, it's intentional or a romanized Korean word.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You lean in to brush a kiss along his jawline as you promise, “ Later.

Poor thing, it looks like your confession of your returned memories have broken the poor boy. He looks so sweetly stunned that you can’t help yourself. You capture his lips with yours and, while keeping in mind you’re not alone, you send as much heat and promise into the kiss as you can. 

“Oh! Jay-Kay!” Hobi whoops from across the room, waggling his eyebrows and finally bringing Jungkook back to his senses. A rise of catcalls comes from all around the room.

Jungkook blushes underneath you and giggles, instantly returning to his usually introverted self. The only eyes who don’t look amused are Namjoon’s. They linger on you with a tightness that makes your gut pang.

You’re not entirely certain why, either. Is it simply because he’s been your biggest ally since you stumbled into the Bangtan world, and your public display of affection made him uncomfortable? Or is it because of his confession earlier about a matching mark on his own body, and the implications holds? The uncertainty hanging over you prompts you to move slightly away from your soulmate. 

Are you enjoying the show, Noona? ” Taehyung calls from across the room.

You smile at his bright face, knowing he is just fishing for compliments.

You are phenomenal and you know it. You don’t need me to tell you that, ” you say with a knowing grin.

Taehyung preens from the compliment. You turn to smile at Jungkook, but you catch his face out of the corner of your eye. It’s tense, as is his whole body, like he’s straining against some internal force. And losing.

What is it, Kook-ah? ” you say quietly, catching his attention.

His head pops up and he immediately tries to erase the tension from his face. But you’re not fooled. 

Hmm? ” he says, forcing a smile.

Something’s wrong. What is it? ” you say a little louder.

Oh! Nothing! Don’t worry!

Hey. I’m your soulmate. You can tell me anything, remember? You’re stuck with me for life, you know? What is it?

You try to make your tone light, wanting to ease his fears. But he echoes your earlier phrase. “ Later.

You sit with him in silence as the flurry of activity increases in the dressing room. The guys all start running back to the stage. As if he’s just realized what is going on, Jungkook pops up and reaches out to hold onto Namjoon. 

“Hyung! Can you read this for army during the ments? ” he says, holding out a small piece of paper covered with his neat handwriting. “ Please?

Namjoon sends the maknae a warm smile as he says, “ Sure, Kook-ah.

And with Namjoon leaving the room, it’s suddenly quiet again, the stylists and assistant leaving the room to go get the next set of costumes ready. Jungkook is still standing, watching the door, lost in some internal landscape that you can neither see nor hear. 

Rising, you walk up and hesitantly wrap your arms around his waist from behind. A long sigh escapes him as he sags his weight into you. His hands come up to cover yours, and for a brief moment, it’s just you and Jungkook, together in the stillness of the empty room.

Noona, I’m scared.

His voice is small and quavering when he speaks. You squeeze him closer and feel the suppressed shivers he’s desperately trying to smother.

His words hadn’t seemed to register his level of fear, but that shaking does. You whip around to face him, bracing him with your arms.

Of what, jagi? ” you ask, the endearment slipping out in your panic. 

Jagi? ” he says, raising his head. A furtive smile creeps onto his face.

Yah, don’t get distracted! What’s wrong, ” you say, flustered and trying to get back on topic! How dare he distract you with his adorable bunny smile!

He chuckles before he responds. “ Well, it seems less serious now, jagi , ” he says, adding emphasis to the last word. “But I’m afraid I’ll never get my hearing back. ” He pauses a long moment, but you get the feeling he’s not done. So you wait patiently, holding space for him to continue when he’s ready.

I’m afraid that there’s something wrong with me. I’m not getting my mark. My hearing isn’t getting better and things just seem… wrong. Off, somehow, you know? ” You nod your head, knowing exactly what he’s talking about. “ I’m afraid that I’ll never get my hearing back. That I won’t be able to sing again. That I won’t be able to be with army. I… I don’t know what I’ll do if that happens. I’m afraid of losing them, the guys… ” He bites back a sob. “A-And… losing you, ” he admits finally, still holding back tears.

You regard him for a moment. On the one hand, you’re completely stunned by his openness with you. You had never known anything by excuses, lies, and secrets with Douche Canoe. He’d always hidden behind half truths. 

But here, Jungkook is baring his soul for you. Willingly laying out his deepest fears, at the slightest provocation. And the difference between the two men in your life couldn’t have been more plain. You know now that what you have with Jungkook is real and unbreakable. And though you haven’t known him all that long, you can feel yourself falling deep. Feel the slow building fire in your heart.

Pabo, ” you say, folding him into your arms. “ We’ll figure this out. I’m not going anywhere. Neither are the guys! And if you think army will abandon you because of this, then you’re an idiot. They love you because of who you are. Because you’re sweet and kind. You’re an amazing singer and dancer.  And because you’re sexy as hell, ” you tease, and he laughs. “ But mostly, because you’re you. Army loves you so much. They’re not going to go anywhere. And neither am I. We’ll figure this out. Together.

You brush the tears from his cheeks as you finish. He buries his face in your neck and quietly falls apart, sobbing into your shoulder. It breaks your heart to see him so torn up. Jungkook has always been so vocal about his love for army and you know how much being a member of BTS means to him; How much it’s a part of who he is. Seeing him agonize over this, tears you up inside. You know the true fans will always support him, no matter what. And so will you. 

It doesn’t stop, however, the fact that you are also concerned about your bond. You don’t know why you have both your mark and perfect hearing, while Jungkook is the one suffering. 

All you want is to take this burden from him, to remove it from his shoulders and lay it down.

But you can’t change what is. So you will have to figure out what’s going on with the two of you. I wonder if there’s some kind of expert we could see or talk to .

And Jungkook asked me to read this for you… ” you hear over the speakers. You see Namjoon on the monitor, holding the piece of paper in his hand as he addresses the stadium. A collective “awww” rises up, and you nudge Jungkook in the ribs as if to prove your point.

Dear Army, I’m sad that I cannot be with you today. I wish I could be there to sing and dance with you. Some recent health issues have prevented us from being together today. I am doing well and I’m sure that I’ll recover quickly, so don’t worry! I miss you and think about you every day! You are the sunlight that rose in my life, the oasis in my desert, my euphoria. I love you and wish to see you soon! Borahae! ” Namjoon reads. The crowd immediately cries out, a cheer so loud, you can feel the stadium shake around you.

Your eyes tear up at his earnest words. You turn to see that Jungkook’s ears have turned completely red and he’s hiding his face in his hands. Reaching up, you pull his hands away. And when his eyes finally meet yours, you say, “ We will figure this out. I promise.

 

***

 

Namjoon POV

Reading Jungkook’s words to the crowd felt bittersweet. They are one team. Seven. Not six. And with one of them missing, things just don’t feel right. 

But hearing the cheers of love and support for Jungkook helped soothe the sting of the vitriol that has been circulating online since yesterday. Namjoon has kept an eye on the worst of it, his friends sending him tweets and links every now and then, warning him against certain threats. The world seems split where Jungkook’s actions are concerned. And while there’s been quite a bit of hate, Namjoon’s been relieved to see most of army rising to his defense. 

A relief because they’re not getting any younger. And many of the guys want to have relationships, want a family just as much as Namjoon does. All he wants is to find his person and settle down. And knowing that he’d most likely receive army’s support is reassuring.

But, the celebrity lifestyle doesn’t really allow for privacy, let alone the opportunity to meet many people who aren’t directly related to his job. 

And it hurts sometimes to watch their maknae, the youngest of them, get everything Namjoon’s been pining for. 

He sometimes thought about his predicament in the solitude of his room. Is it Noona specifically? Or the idea of her? Does he feel drawn to her because he wants that level of connection with someone? Anyone? And she just happens to be the only woman around.

 Or is he drawn to Noona, because it’s her .

At least he used to wonder, that is until she showed him her soulmark a mere few hours ago. 

His eyes hadn’t believed what they were seeing. The very mark that had showed up on his body, mirrored on hers. That has to mean something, right? That all of this isn’t just in his head! What are the odds that they’d share the same mark?! 

Only problem is that it wasn’t in the same spot as hers, like other soulmarks. He’d noticed his appear a few weeks ago, just after their Los Angeles performance. 

At first, he’d been worried it was cancer or something, because of its sudden appearance. So he’d gone to the doctor and had it checked out. But it came back as normal. Just a regular old freckle, birthmark, or something.

He’d actually forgotten it existed because of where it is. He’d been trying to keep the thing hidden from Jimin because it was in a similar spot as his nevermind tattoo. If Jimin found out, he would never let Namjoon know peace.

Seeing it on her neck, though, had brought it to the top of his mind. He even got so distracted thinking about it while vibing with the crowd that he had forgotten to get to his spot in time for the next bit of choreo! Namjoon knows his friends will be sending him tik toks and gifs of his panicked little run on repeat for the next few weeks as punishment for the lapse of focus.

But the rest of the concert had gone off without a hitch and they had all left the stadium within minutes of leaving the stage, so as to miss most of the post concert traffic. Jungkook and Noona had before the concert even finished, so a body double climbed into the vans with the rest of Bangtan for the benefit of the media.

All Namjoon wanted to do now was eat and pass out. But he remembered he had to do that damn vlive now. Trudging into his room, he pulled off his sneakers, started the electric kettle for ramen and got the cameras and tablets set up for a vlive. 

As soon as his noodles were cooked, he turned on the vlive and waited for the comments to flood in. He’s learned not to look too closely at some of the comments over the years. Some of their fans can be a little extreme, and with the controversy surrounding Jungkook and Noona, there’s bound to be a lot more hate comments, in addition to prying questions surrounding the event.

The noodles are hot and spicy as he slurps them down, warming his empty belly. It feels good to eat after bouncing around on the stage for the past 3 hours. He passes the time, reading comments while chewing, and responding to a few of the more innocuous questions.

A room tour? Ok, I guess, ” Namjoon says around a mouthful of food. He reaches over and picks up the camera, flipping it around so he can show everyone the room. 

What he forgot to do was turn off the tv. A tv that was currently playing the hotel’s branding commercial on the smart TV’s homescreen, the name of the five-star hotel prominently displayed.

“Aish,” he says, quickly flipping the camera back around. He groans, knowing that it doesn’t matter how fast he was able to change the camera, army is always faster. There will be fans crowding the hotel within minutes. And in light of the attack at the Jeju airport the other day, they’re not going to take any threat to their safety lightly. He’s just waiting for a knock at the door, or the buzz of his phone to tell him what he already knows. They’re leaving. Tonight.

Namjoon starts to wind things down knowing he needs to start packing, but his phone buzzes. He reaches over to see who it is, thinking it’s probably Sejin calling to chew him out and tell him to get his stuff and leave. But he’s brought up short by the unknown number. No one is supposed to have this number except the few trusted people who he’s programmed into his phone. It’s possible it’s spam, but he’s almost certain it’s not. Especially when he declines the call and the number pops back up seconds later.

Namjoon has a lot of practice with keeping his mask from slipping on camera and he’s not about to let some crazy stalker get a reaction from him on the live boradcast. 

I’m pretty tired, everyone. It’s been a long day and I need to rest up for tomorrow’s performance, ” he says, a muscle jumping in his jaw, desperately trying to keep a lid on his anger. 

He winds down the broadcast and no sooner has Namjoon shut off the camera, then Sejin bangs on his door. Namjoon hangs his head as he trudges to answer it 

Get packed. Quickly, ” Sejin clips, pushing his way into the room as Namjoon opens the door. “ Somehow our entire itinerary has been leaked. And not just the itinerary, but also all of your personal information.

Well, that would explain the phone calls, Namjoon thinks.

Sejin gestures to where Namjoon’s phone sits, buzzing away on the table.

We’ll get you a new number, but I suggest you turn off your phone until we can secure you a new number. How soon can you be ready to leave, Namjoon-ssi?

I’m sorry for accidentally showing the hotel name, Manager-nim. I’ll be just a few minutes. Where are we headed? ” Namjoon asks.

I’m not sure yet. There’s talk of canceling tomorrow’s concert. Between Jungkook’s scandal, and him missing today’s performance, there’s been a lot of threats made against him and the group in general. For now, we’re securing rooms in another hotel across town. I’ve already talked to all the other members and they’ll be ready to go in five minutes. Can you be ready by then?

Yes, ” Namjoon replies, already springing into action. He’s not the neatest person of the group and it takes him a few minutes to gather everything up from around the suite. But he hastily shoves everything into his suitcases and is fumbling through his door almost exactly five minutes later.

The security team is waiting at the elevators where the rest of the band have gathered. Namjoon can see the pale expression on Noona’s face as she clings to Jungkook’s side. It hurts him to see her afraid. But he wishes nothing more in that moment, that he was the one she was clinging to for support.

Are you ok? ” Namjoon asks her as he joins the group, forgoing greeting his brothers first. Namjoon can only focus on her face, watching for any betrayal of emotions.

I’m ok. I’ll be fine, ” she says, shutting him down. But she can’t hide the quiver of her lips, trying to pull themselves down into a frown. 

Ya, Namjoon-ah. Why did you have to show the hotel on the vlive? ” Yoongi drawls. “ I was almost asleep.

Sorry, hyung. It was an accident. But Sejin said our information was leaked. It was only a matter of time before we’d have had to switch hotels anyway, ” Namjoon tries to explain.

Before Namjoon can check on the rest of the group, their head of security walks up to the group.

“I’m sorry, but we’re going to need to use the staff elevator. There’s already a sizable crowd outside and people are already trying to access the elevators. We’ve called the police for an escort, but we need to hurry. Please, follow me, ” the large man says, holding his arm out to show the way. 

Namjoon trails at the back of the group, watching as the guys instinctively herd Jimin into the middle, and to his surprise, Noona as well. His heart swells at the sight, knowing that she’s already wormed her way into not just his heart, but everyone else’s as well. 

They’re herded into the waiting black SUVs in the basement loading dock, having gone out one of the service entries. Everything looks like smooth sailing, until they exit the parking garage. 

A thick mob of people rush their vehicles, blocking their exit and pounding on their doors and windows. Namjoon steals a quick look back at Noona, sitting next to Jungkook in the back seats. Jungkook is wrapped around her, holding her head, which is buried in his chest, and rubbing small circles on her back. 

Namjoon swallows back the lump that’s formed in his stomach and feels it settle into his gut. 

He hates this part of his life. While he knows there are many privileges and comforts he experiences because of his status, it comes with a heavy price tag. He’s never free to go wherever he wants, whenever he wants. He is constantly hounded, pursued for any scrap of his life that he’s careless enough to leave unprotected. He’s had years to adjust, to grow into his fame, allowing the heavy weight of it to gradually rest upon his shoulders. 

But Noona hasn’t.

This has to be terrifying for her. To suddenly experience a very drastic change in her way of life. He can’t imagine the stress she’s feeling. 

And to his surprise, he finds that he’s not jealous of Jungkook in the slightest. He’s just relieved that she has someone that she can cling to. Someone who can comfort her in a way that only soulmates can.

He feels the hot prickle of tears gather at the corners of his eyes and quickly wipes them away before they can betray him. What is with him? His emotions seem to be all over the map tonight!

A loud bang against their SUV draws a frightened whimper out of Noona and it’s the last straw for Namjoon.

Get us out of here! Now! ” he shouts to the driver, who nods miserably, laying on the horn. Namjoon shoots a glance back to the back seat, feeling torn between chewing out the driver and checking on Noona. Jungkook is doing his best to completely cover her, shielding her with his body and trying to calm her down.

A few agonizing moments later, the police arrive and push back the crowd, opening up their exit, allowing their caravan to leave the hotel. They’re finally away and Namjoon feels like he can breathe again.

The driver weaves around the city, trying to lose their tails. After a few minutes, he receives a phone call. 

“Ne? Ne, I understand, ” the driver says before hanging up and abruptly turning the car around.

What’s going on, hyung? ” Jungkook’s voice is quiet, like he’s trying not to disturb someone. Namjoon looks back to see that Noona has fallen asleep in his arms. 

Not sure, ” Namjoon replies, then looking at the driver, “ Where are we going? ” 

Change of plans, sir. We’re headed to the airport. You will be leaving tonight.

What? What about the concert tomorrow? ” Jungkook says, looking panicked and dumbstruck all at once. 

That’s all the information I have, sir. You’re welcome to use my phone to call Sejim-nim back, ” the driver says, handing the phone back to Namjoon.

Thank you, ” Namjoon says, dialing the manager’s phone number and placing the phone to his ear.

Yes? ” a tired and irritated voice responds.

Manager-nim, it’s Namjoon. What’s this about heading to the airport?

Ah! Namjoon-ssi! ” Sejin replies, his voice instantly changing to one of respect. “ Well, we have been unable to secure a safe place for you tonight. And we just received word that Y/n-ssi’s house has been broken into. We’ve had someone keep an eye on her home since we found her. Threats have been pouring in against her and through association, the group. We’ve decided to head back to Korea for the time being for your safety. Until we can get things under control, we’re going into lock down, ” Sejin says with a heavy voice.

Namjoon shoots a fearful look back at Noona peacefully sleeping in the arms of her soulmate, and is suddenly grateful that she’s getting some rest. She can face this new specter tomorrow.

I see, ” Namjoon replies, but the gears of his brain are churning. The threats must be pretty severe (and legitimate) if the company is willing to cancel an entire concert and send the group into lock down. But Namjoon can’t help but feel that going back to Korea would be the wrong move.

 “ But, what if we didn’t go to Korea? ” Namjoon continues. “ What if we said we were flying home, but in reality, we take a private jet to Los Angeles? I know Noona wanted to pack up her home anyway, and now she’s going to have to inventory everything that was stolen or broken. That’s not something we can send someone to do for her. We’ll be well away from those who want to hurt us, and Noona can do what she needs to close up her life in LA.”

Namjoon waits for Sejin’s reply as he sees the airport nearing in the distance. He’s quiet for far too long, telling Namjoon he isn’t convinced it’s the right plan.

I’ve also been doing some research on soulmate bonds and trying to figure out why Noona seems to be getting her mark, and not Jungkook. And now that Jungkook’s having issues with his hearing, I think it might be time to consult an expert. The world’s leading researcher is actually based out of UCLA. This would be killing two birds with one stone. Pack up Noona’s house and get Jungkook checked out, ” Namjoon says, doing his best to persuade the manager of his plan.

In all of his research, he found that the most recent and impactful discoveries had all come from one lab at UCLA from a researcher named Moira Anamchara. It had been on his to-do list to call the professor to ask for a meeting. 

I suppose that would be one way of trying to shake some of the sasaengs… And maybe we can see if James Corden could squeeze you in for a last minute guest spot. Try to get some positive press for a change, ” Sejin grumbles.

Namjoon lets out a heavy sigh of relief. 

Thank you, hyung. Truly. Thank you, ” Namjoon says quietly before hanging up.

So, what’s the plan? ” Jungkook says. His wide eyes are focused on Namjoon with such innocent earnestness that it takes Namjoon back to when he joined the group, practically a child still. 

His eyes have always been so big.

We’re going to LA, Kook-ah, ” Namjoon says a little loudly, making sure Jungkook can hear him. But he must’ve been too loud, because Noona stirs in Jungkook’s grasp. “ But for now, let’s let Noona sleep. I’ll explain everything when we get to the airport. ” 

Jungkook nods and settles back into the seat, settling the beauty sleeping in his arms more comfortably against him. From this angle, Namjoon can see the outline of her soulmark on her neck. The darkening swam gracefully adorning her skin.

Maybe he can ask that researcher if it’s possible to have more than one soulmate.

Notes:

I'm sorry everyone. I hope that I can get back into a regular schedule of updating. Life has been... challenging to say the least. Between a huge project wrapping up last week (thank god it's done!) and some rather unfortunate family drama, I've haven't had two minutes to rub together.

As it happens, I actually had to fly out to Utah to help take care of my sister in law who is very, very sick and help out with her kids. I am confident that everything will be fine in the future, but for now, let's just say, she's in rough shape.

Now that I've taken care of some housekeeping, let's dive into this, shall we?!

Ummm, I expected WAY more comments on the last chapter. Finally a spicy bit, and mostly crickets?! I guess my readers are here mostly for the pain. And in that case, how did this chapter sit with you? Was it angsty enough? Lol!

I cannot get enough of sweet, innocent, caring Koo. He is an entire bunny and you cannot convince me otherwise. He exudes sweet boy energy. That is, when he's not FLASHING HIS ABS ALL OVER STAGE IN VEGAS! Damn sexy bunny...

Any who! We got to hear from Namjoon again. The boy's been busy reading. How else do you think he'd cope with this? And now we're headed back to LA to see a specialist. I wonder how that's going to work out... Hmmm. ;)

And lastly, I thought I'd ask if you had preferences on the level of spice in the next chapter. I had an idea for some airplane tom foolery, but I can also skip it, if you'd prefer. So leave a comment below! A 🌶️ for spiciness, or a 🍬 for some sweet fluffy stuff as you fly to LA.

Thank you, always, for reading this. I am so grateful for your continued faith in me. We're nearing the end! So I hope you stick with me! <3 Thank you so much!!

Until next time!!

Chapter 28

Summary:

In which you fly to Los Angeles

Notes:

Anything in bold would be said or typed in Korean. If there's text that's not bold, it's in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You come to under the bright lights of a parking garage. 

Where are we? ” you ask groggily, stretching and turning to find yourself snuggled up against the hard planes of Jungkook’s chest.

Airport, ” Namjoon replies over his shoulder, gathering his bags. “ We’re flying out of here tonight. It’s not safe to stay. I’ll explain when we’re all together.

He pushes the door outward and exits, leaving you and Jungkook tangled up in each other. He leans down to brush a kiss to your forehead.

You ok? ” Jungkook murmurs against your hair, nuzzling into you and wrapping arms around you.

Mmhmm. You?

Mmhmm. Come on, let’s go, ” Jungkook says. He gestures for you to leave the car first and turns to gather up your bags.

Your legs are a bit unsteady as you exit the SUV and you stumble. The ground rushes up to meet you and you brace for impact. But a strong pair of arms wrap under your arms to steady you, and you look up into Namjoon’s concerned face.

Are you ok?! ” he says, looking you over, up and down.

I’m fine! I think my legs are still asleep. What time is it anyway? ” you say as you straighten and stretch. 

It’s 3 am, ” Namjoon says. His hands linger on you, even though you’re no longer in danger of falling over. And you can’t say the sensation is unpleasant. In fact, there’s a heat radiating from him, warming where he touches you. His eyes hold yours, hanging on a hair longer than feels necessary. But Namjoon quickly drops his hands as Jungkook exits the car, clearing his throat as he stalks off toward where the others have gathered. 

The whole encounter leaves you feeling off kilter. You aren’t blind. You’ve noticed how invested Namjoon has been in making you feel comfortable since your arrival. In fact, for a while you had thought he might be your only ally when Jungkook seemed completely indifferent to you at first. But this is just him being the best leader, making sure the newest member of his little Bangtan family was settling in ok… Right? 

The small flip flop in your stomach says otherwise. 

There had been something there. Something you hadn’t noticed before. Something that had lain hidden, purposefully obscured perhaps, but has now peeked through the cracks in Namjoons mask. Light shining through the spots that have been clumsily patched over.

It is then that your mind helpfully reminds you of Namjoon’s confession from earlier. 

He has a mark on him that looks just like your soulmark.

How is that possible? How is it that you share this thing with Namjoon, while your soulmate remains completely unmarked? It’s not even in the same place! Aren’t soulmarks in the same spot on soulmates? There’s got to be some kind of explanation, otherwise this has to be the universe’s biggest cosmic joke.

Jungkook brings you out of your head by weaving his fingers through yours and pulling you towards the entrance to the private air strip at the Tokyo airport. You’re ushered quickly through a bare minimum of security, only your passports being checked, and then through to the hangar where two private planes wait. 

Before you get the opportunity to ask what is going on and where the hell you’re going, Namjoon turns to address you personally, bringing you up short. 

“I wanted to tell you before I tell the others,” he says gently in English, talking to you like you’re a deer, about to bolt. “Your home was recently broken into and ransacked. I only found out a little while ago and I don’t have many details about it. But it’s one of the reasons we’ll be flying to LA tonight, so you can sort out all the details with the police and pack up your things.”

A wide, vast opening appears inside you, your stomach a lightless abyss, laying bare the most secret places inside you. You hug your arms around yourself, trying to hold yourself together before you disintegrate into the void. 

You feel violated in so many different ways. First with your face being plastered all over the internet, dragging your name through the mud. Then with the harrowing experience of fighting through the mob at the airport, and now with this. It’s an invasion of your privacy. It’s so much, all at once. Mere days! And the sensation of dissolving intensifies. You feel angry. You feel confused! You feel overwhelmed!

But mostly, you don’t feel safe. 

You can feel the panic rising in you, threatening to drag you down into that unreachable place.

And suddenly, Jungkook is at your side, pressing into you, sparking a flood of sensations through your bond. A bright pinpoint of hope to cling to.

It’s going to be ok. We’ll get through this together, remember? ” he says, taking your face in his hands and forcing you to look at him.

You nod, allowing his energy to soothe you.

You said one of the reasons, what are the others? ” you ask Namjoon, who’s watching you with that same intensity as before.

Namjoon nods and turns to address the whole group. “ Everyone, it’s not safe for us to stay here anymore. I’m sure you are aware that there’s been a major breach of security, as well as some threats against the group. And so in the effort to keep everyone safe, especially in light of what happened at the airport in Jeju, ” Namjoon darts a glance at Jimin, who’s paling face betrays his stiff upper lip, “ we’ve laid a false trail leading to another hotel in Tokyo, when in reality we’ll be flying to Los Angeles. Tonight.

A ripple of murmurs breaks out among the five other men gathered. But before they can start asking questions, Namjoon holds up a hand to quiet them. The effect is instant.

 “ We’re trying to see if we can swing a last minute guest spot on Corden. This means canceling our concert tomorrow. Well, actually it’s today, I guess. But hopefully our longtime relationship will mean he’ll pull some strings for us, ” Namjoon continues.

But why Los Angeles, Joon-ah? Why not home? ” Yoongi asks, as unflappable as ever. 

There’s a soulmate expert there. Try to see if we can figure out what’s going on with Kook’s  hearing, among other things… ” Namjoon trails off.

You’re not sure that anyone but you heard that last bit, because the guys chime in with their votes of approval and relief that Jungkook will get looked over. Jungkook still clings to you, doing his best to try to soothe your growing fears as best he can through his physical presence. It’s clear he isn’t understanding any of the conversation around him. 

With a last few words with staff members, the assembled group boards the planes. All the guys, plus you, Sejin, and a handful of security detail in one plane. And the rest of the bodyguards and the handful of managers coming with the group in another. 

Stepping into the private plane, you can’t help the gasp that escapes you. 

You’ve never seen anything quite so luxurious in your life. You want to stop and absorb every fine detail. But your gawking is interrupted by impatient chivvying from behind. Each of the members push past you, heading toward one of the cream, leather upholstered seats. You watch as a few immediately stretch the seats to become small beds, while others swivel the bases to gather around a table. The whole plane is decked out in shades of cream with tawny colored wood paneling accents. It’s legitimately one of the most luxurious things you’ve seen in a long time!

Jungkook heads over to where Namjoon is sitting, whispers something in his ear, and leans back, looking at his hyung with what you would call his “excited puppy” energy. Namjoon shoots you a quick glance, his features both tight and tired, before nodding.

Jungkook practically skips over to you. He squeezes your hand and pulls you toward the back of the plane. Located at the very back of the plane is a small bedroom, complete with a full sized bed, tv, and ensuite bathroom. It even has a shower, to your amazement! All of the trimmings and finishes are the same opulent cream and wood motifs from the main cabin.

Namjoon-hyung said we could have this space. You’ll be able to lay down if you want. Plus… we can cuddle, ” he adds looking a tiny bit sheepish.

You turn back to look at Jungkook with wonder. “ Wha- I- How? I mean. I didn’t know planes could have beds like this in them! ” you splutter.

But his smile fades somewhat. What with all the noise from the airplane engines starting up, there’s not a chance in hell that he’ll be able to hear you. A sudden brain wave hits you. You pull out your phone and type out a text message to him

You: This is so cool! I love it! Thank you! Do you think we will be able to talk through texts once we’re in the air, or should I grab some good old fashioned paper and pencil?

JK: The plane has wifi, so we should be able to message that way. 

His smile is so big that it’s nearly blinding. He’s so happy to have a solid way of communicating with you after a long slog of struggling to understand and it shows. 

You smile and shake your head at how adorable he can be sometimes. It’s so heart-warming, that you almost forget about the whole midnight flight from the hotel, subsequent mobbing, and the bomb Namjoon dropped mere moments ago.

Almost .

Jungkook pulls the blankets back and hops into the bed, bouncing on his adorable little tushy. A tushy you can now recall in your mind's eye in great detail. It makes heat rise to your cheeks.

JK: Want to see my cat, Noona?

Jungkook sends the text and looks up at you with his wide, earnest eyes, patting the bed next to him. Those puppy dog eyes are fooling nobody, boy, you think.

You: If I wanted to see a cat, I’d go find Yoongi.  

Jungkook’s laughter upon reading your text is loud enough that it draws attention. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see a few glances through the open door, most of them smirking with shaking heads. But one face is a carefully crafted expression of disinterest.

It makes your gut twist seeing Namjoon looking at you that way. So you gently shut the door, ensuring a small amount of privacy. Well, as much privacy as can be afforded in a small airplane and only a thin wall between you and the rest of Bangtan.

The captain announces they’ve been cleared for takeoff and everyone will need to be buckled for take off. You sit down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room from the bed and buckle up. You motion for Jungkook to do the same. He pouts, but joins you in the seat directly opposite yours. It doesn’t take long for the plane to taxi to the runway and soon, you’re lifting into the air, leaving the technicolor city of Tokyo behind. 

As soon as the plane levels out, Jungkook jumps up from his seat and heads for the bed once again. He spreads out over the entire full-sized bed and sighs with contentment. He pulls his phone back out.

JK: I guess you don’t want to see my cat. I guess I’ll just enjoy the TV all by myself, then.

 Jungkook types with a look of mock disappointment. He pushes some buttons on the side console under the window and a TV rises from the foot board. The sight of a massive TV rising from seemingly nowhere makes you leap from your seat and snuggle into the bed next to Jungkook.

You: I never said that I didn’t want to. I was merely stating that Yoongi was a closer option. Well, I thought it was closer. That TV is enormous!

He smiles at you and gestures for you to snuggle in under his arm. With a fluttering of nervous butterflies dancing in your stomach, you slowly settle into him as he turns on the tv and starts flipping through netflix. 

JK: You know, I never asked what kind of movies or TV shows you like to watch.

And it strikes you that you haven’t spent all that much time learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. 

Well, no time like a seven and a half hour flight to talk about it.

You: Well, I like a lot of different things. Rom coms, action movies, comedies, dramas… I like pretty much all of it. Except horror. I will not watch that stuff.

Jungkook’s laughter at your pantomime shivering, sounds like the tinkling of silver bells. He squeezes you tight.

JK: Ok, ok. Nothing scary. What about this?

La La Land appears on the menu and he looks at you expectantly.

You: Sure. But I don’t think there’s any cats in that movie.

A teasing smile tugs at your lips.

JK: Are you sure? I think there is. 

His answering grin is radiant and full of mischief.

You: I’m pretty sure there isn’t.

JK: Well, we’ll just have to watch it to find out, won’t we?  

And with a smile as he presses play.

The opening scenes of the movie start playing and you settle in closer to Jungkook, resting your head on his shoulder. And before long, he’s totally pulled into the cinematic tapestry of the movie.

Every now and then, you look up at him, watching him watch the movie. He’s completely absorbed by it, his face mirroring the mood of the movie exactly. It’s painfully endearing to watch him in such an unguarded moment. Your heart swells with contentment in this brief moment of solitude and peace. A sigh escapes you, completely unbidden.

His concentration broken, he looks down to find you gazing at him. He smiles sweetly and presses a kiss to the top of your head, squeezing you closer. A long moment passes before he speaks again.

Noona? ” he says, his low voice rumbling through his body into yours. You look up at him again, to find stars in his eyes. A sliver of trepidation washes over his countenance, as if deciding whether or not to say something more. Suddenly the butterflies in your stomach erupt into chaos inside you, alerting you to… something.

You watch him, feeling the gravity of the moment, your brain not quite keeping up with your heart. 

“I love you.”

Your body freezes up. 

Did he just say what you think he just said?! 

Your mind short circuits from the sudden confession, as well as the abrupt switch to English, and renders you incapacitated, completely at a loss for words… Actions… Any other rational human reactions, really.

Feeling your tenseness and misinterpreting it, he rushes, “ I know we haven’t known each other for long. But I have never felt like this about anyone before. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone. Well, except maybe the guys, but that’s different. I just-

You cut off his rambling with a fingertip and raise your hand to his cheek, your thumb brushing against the smooth skin on his cheekbone. His eyes search yours, waiting for your response.

With tears welling in your eyes, you reach up to kiss him. It’s sweet and chaste, as you pour every ounce of your feeling and sincerity into the press of your lips. It lasts both eons and milliseconds, and when you pull away from him, you mouth, “ Me too.

Jungkook’s brilliant smile erupts across his face, his beautiful doe eyes lighting up with elation. He wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. The strength of his arms around you makes you feel so safe, so secure. 

As if he’s planned this moment, he reaches over to his bag and pulls out the necklace you had made for him on Jeju. Trembling fingers pull it out and hold it out to you. “ Will you put it on me, noona? ” he asks.

It feels like months since you gave him that necklace, when in reality it’s only been days. You’d wondered when or if he would start wearing it, but figured with the crazy press coverage, he didn’t want to risk anything. But now, he wants to wear the sign of your love. Wants to show the world, even if no one will understand its significance but you two.

With tears misting up your vision, you drape the necklace around his neck and clasp it shut. Fingers trace the line of it across the back of his neck, making you think how beautiful it looks resting there. You lean into him and kiss the back of his neck directly over top of the necklace, causing him to sigh and shiver. 

You rise to your knees to press another kiss to his neck, a little higher this time. Your fingers trace the lines of the muscles in his back as you continue dotting kisses across his shoulders. Muscles that bunch and twist as he turns to face you fully, catching your hands to still them.

His eyes shine brightly, burning into yours. He leans slowly, deliberately, as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “ Mine, ” he says quietly. His lips drag towards your eyelid, and pressing a feather light kiss there, whispers, “ Mine, ” again.

He presses a kiss to both cheeks, your nose, your jaw, all punctuated with a soft, rumbling, “ Mine.

He pauses, taking the moment to make sure he has your full attention, before dipping a searing kiss to your lips. “ Mine, ” he says against your lips before delving his tongue in to meet yours.  You open your mouth wider to him, deepening the kiss. Allowing him to taste you. To feel the eager return of his enthusiasm. Hands fly to cradle your face to his, holding you, steadying you as you melt into the heat of his hands.

Tongues and fingers tangle as the both of you strive to get closer to each other. Frantic pawing at each other’s clothes follows, as if the only way to feel complete is to have his skin on yours. He rips his shirt open, popping buttons in the process, reminding you of a few of his more revealing costume mishaps on stage. 

You smirk into his mouth as he rolls over top of you, stradling your hips with his powerful thighs. Rising up to remove the torn article of clothing, he affords you the opportunity to take in his well-defined torso in full detail. The sight of so much skin pulls a soft, “Oh,” from your lips as he finally divests himself of his shirt. He catches your reaction and smirks.

Enjoying the view? ” he quips.

Oh, you most definitely are. But you can’t help the teasing that’s risen up in your mind. Knowing you definitely want him to hear your response, you sit up and say loudly into his ear, “ What, no baby oil today?

His shocked face is all the reward you need. You erupt into a cascade of giggles as his expression morphs from embarrassment to predatory delight. Growling, he dives in to suck bruises onto your neck, paying special attention to where your soulmark lies. The contact sends special thrills down your spine, straight to your aching core.

Your inner goddess is preening from the attention as you lay there, writhing underneath Jungkook’s weight. And she breaks into a full on cheerleading routine, complete with flips and air horns when his hand drags down your torso, coming up to cup your swollen labia.

You grind into him, seeking the friction of his hand against you. Breaking away from your neck, he watches your face as he slips his hand down the front of your pants to tease your lower lips. A finger lazily drags through the top of the cleft, parting it, but only slightly.

Your expression must have been exactly what he was aiming for, because he huffs out a single chuckle and lowers himself to capture your lips once again. Your hips roll against his fingers, trying to coax them deeper. But he stays frustratingly just out of reach of full penetration. You feel, rather than hear the chuckle that reverberates within him. 

Wait, ” he whispers into your mouth. You detach once again. To breathe, you tell yourself. Not because you’re frustrated beyond all belief. 

Jungkook moves, freeing your hips from the prison of his thighs. You’re about to protest, but he moves to undress himself further. As he pulls himself free of his sweats and underwear, you sit up, examining him with hungry eyes. God, he is so beautifully made. All smooth lines and hard edges.

As he finishes, he makes a move to help you, but you stall his hand. Instead of the frantic awkwardness you’re used to, you want to give him a show. Want to make him beg to take you by the time you’re done.

So you slowly pull up your shirt, sensuously dragging it from your frame. He moves to touch you, but you pop off the bed. Questioning eyes follow your every moment. You send him a coy smile as you turn around and take off your bra, slowly dragging the straps from your shoulders. You shoot him a glance over your shoulder as you drop your bra to the ground next to you in the sexiest strip tease you’ve ever done. His responding groan tells you you’re on the right track.

Moving onto your leggings, you drag them down your legs, peeling them off you, as you bend at the waist, showing off your ass ets. More specifically the lacy, black panties you had the presence of mind to change into earlier that evening when you’d returned to the hotel in hopes of sober adult adventure times later.

A hand cups your bare ass cheek and you straighten quickly at the touch, swatting his hand away. You wrap your arms to cover your chest with one hand and turn slightly, wagging a reprimanding finger at him. Look, but don’t touch , you say with your eyes. His face is transfixed, mouth hanging slightly agape. He simply nods as he swallows, his eyes never blinking.

When you’re sure he’s gotten the message, you turn around again and continue undressing, kicking your leggings to the side and bringing your fingers underneath the waistband of your panties. You swivel your ass as you pretend to struggle to work them down over your hips.

Soon, the fabric is sliding down over the curvature of your ass. And Jungkook lets out a loud sigh of appreciation, like he had been holding his breath this whole time. It morphs into a groan as you once again bend 90 degrees at the waist, taking your time sliding your panties down your legs. 

Once you’ve stepped out of your damp underwear, you turn towards him, uncovering your breasts once you’ve turned fully, rewarding him for being a good listener. Jungkook rises to meet you now, unable to control himself any longer. He cups a breast with one hand, squeezing the soft flesh of your ass with the other and crashing his lips against yours.

Your hands wind around his neck as your mouths devour one another. Jungkook maneuvers you back towards the bed, falling over top of you as your knees hit the mattress and buckle. His patience seems to have reached the end of its frayed rope. Relinquishing your breast, his hand reaches between you to stroke himself and line himself up between your legs. Pressing and sliding against your throbbing clit, he moans into your mouth. 

You’ve always wanted a vocal lover, and it seems like the universe knew exactly what you wanted when it gave you Jungkook. You delight in every noise, every utterance that you’re able to pull from him, reveling in his pleasure, just as much as you are your own.

Settling over you, he parts your legs with his hand, gently scraping your sensitive inner thigh with his fingernails. The sensation sends shivers rippling up your spine. His hand slides between you and his middle finger dips into your center, slowly stretching you out. You see stars behind your closed eyelids when he starts pumping his finger in and out of you, throwing your head back into the plush linens. You moan softly, releasing his lips.

When you open your eyes, you see a smug grin coupled with his wide doe eyes bright with excitement, and you can’t help the huff of laughter that escapes you at the duality in his gaze. The cocky grin widens into a wicked smile. “ That good, huh? Did you just come? ” he rumbles.

Shaking your head at his literal cocksure attitude, you reach for your phone to type out, “ No. Trust me, when I come, you’ll know.

 

Turning the phone around to show him your message, you watch as his brazen expression morphs into a look of determined fascination. You can see the cogs moving in his brain, the part of him that wants to do everything well igniting a competitive flame in his head. 

You’re suddenly very worried for your precious temple.

And for good reason. He slips a second finger inside, pumping quickly. You throw the phone to the side at the sudden ferocity. And before you can adjust, a third appears, stretching your walls with delicious pressure. The rapid onslaught has that knot tightening in your belly, sending you up the precipice of your pleasure. 

But you’re not quite there yet. 

Two eyes, furrowed in eager anticipation, bore into yours, never blinking, never relenting. And that intensity, that focus, almost sends you off the cliff on its own. But it’s the sudden pressure of delicate fingers rubbing against your clit, pumping in time with his frantic fingers that sends you spiraling. 

Your pussy clenches against his fingers, fluttering contractions milking his fingers as he pumps your through your high. Sparkling energy floods your veins, sending its scintillating sensation to every inch of your skin, lighting every nerve with glittering opalescence.

It takes every ounce of your energy to muffle the keening sigh that struggles to escape you. But knowing that there are at least 10 other people on the other side of the flimsy sliding door to your little room keeps your lips shut, making you release a long shuddering sigh instead.

Fingers stilling, Jungkook regards you with half lidded eyes. “ You were right, ” he pants, “ I definitely knew. ” He lifts fingers coated in your slick to his face. He regards them in fascination, like he’s never seen something so amazingly interesting before. And before you’ve fully come down from your orgasm, you watch as he wraps his beautiful lips around his index finger, tasting you off his hand. 

The sight of him savoring your flavor sends a shot of heat straight to your center, making your overstimulated core throb as it clenches hard around emptiness. A feral desire to watch him writhe as you ride him overtakes you. To have him, seated deep within you, as you draw his release from him. To be finally joined as one as you chase oblivion together. 

You rise from the bed and slowly straddle his lap. Trapping his hand, you bring his fingers to your mouth and slip them into your mouth. Sitting up a bit straighter, his eyes never leave yours, watching your every movement with the focus of a prey animal scenting danger. You close your lips around his fingers, wrapping your tongue around them. The musky taste of your essence fills your mouth as you pump his hand in and out of your mouth as you grind your hips on top of him.

A shaky moan leaves him as you drag your teeth lightly across his tattooed knuckles and release him with a pop. With gentle pressure on his chest, you press him back into the cloud of linens behind him, hovering over him, like a fox poised to pounce on a trapped, defenseless bunny. 

Grinning like the vixen you are, you dip to nip at his jaw, pulling hisses of pleasure from his writhing form. His hips telegraph his urgency, rising to grind up against you, telling you without words that he is more than ready.

So you reach between your sweat slicked bodies to grasp his twitching length and guide it to the point where it is poised to enter you. Jungkook groans as you grasp him, pumping and twisting your hand around him. His eyes close, in frustration or pleasure, you’re not sure, but you pause, a teasing smile hanging on your lips, as you make sure you have his complete and full attention. 

Silent eyes open, pleading and desperate, and a small whine rises from his throat. You wait just a beat longer, before finally dropping your hips down, sinking around him. Whines turn to a groan at the sudden sensation and you rise, sitting up atop him. His beautiful length stretching and filling you, you close your eyes as a flare of heat and energy sizzles between you.

As if you had been waiting for this all your life, something snaps into place, vibrating, sending ripples through the universe. Nothing has felt so right, so perfect, so beautiful. You are his and he is yours. Just like the stars shining bright, you feel like you’re glowing, basking in the love you share, breathing deep as he begins to roll up within you.

So beautiful… My love, ” His words are nothing more than a whisper to the void. But you gaze down to where Jungkook is laid out beneath you. Stars glitter in his eyes, his hands steadying your hips as you both roll together, syncing the rhythms of your hips with the beating of your hearts. 

You can’t help but think the same sentiment, taking in the chiseled form of Jungkook’s muscles, his pecs and abdominals tightening and releasing as you writhe together, as one. His length fills you perfectly, hitting you in all the right places, slowly building the pleasure inside you again. The band of your pleasure is tightening, twisting into place, poised to snap at the slightest provocation. The consuming waves of sensation finally sap the strength from your legs, robbing you of your control.

 And without missing a beat, Jungkook reaches out to cradle you as he flips you over, taking the lead. The change in angle brings a whole new world of feeling, sending you higher. He cradles your face as he pumps in and out of you, stroking your cheek with a tender thumb. You turn your head and catch his thumb in your mouth, sucking hard on the digit. 

His hips stutter momentarily, but he quickly recovers, ramping up his pace as he presses his thumb down on your tongue. You moan at the pressure, the speed, the reassuring weight of his body on yours, every sensation sending you higher. Suddenly, your eyes catch on the necklace, bouncing around his neck. The physical reminder of your love, moving in tandem with his thrusts. 

And it’s your undoing. 

Thunderous spasms grip you as you feel your walls clench around Jungkook. Your release triggers his, making his hips pause in their persistent rhythm as he holds himself deep within your temple. You both come, reverently sacrificing yourselves on the altar of the other, feeling the bonds between you tighten to an almost crushing pressure.

And then, a sizzle of white hot electricity races up your spine, spidering out across your soulmark, stinging the skin there. You clap a hand to the spot, hissing. It feels like a spark, the kind you get from wearing socks on carpet in the winter time as you reach for the door handle, but it’s the worst shock you’ve ever gotten in your life. The zing of an electrical current flowing unprotected, uninsulated.

You do your best to hide your grimace of pain from Jungkook as he groans out the final spurts of his release with eyes closed. And as suddenly as they came, the stinging pinches recede, leaving only a ghost of the memory of their pain lingering on your skin.

Noona, that was incredible, ” Jungkook pants, opening his eyes. You nod your agreement, knowing that this interlude has been life changing, even as the faint throb on your neck makes you wonder if it’s for the better or not.

Hissing as he pulls out of you, Jungkook presses a sweet kiss to your lips before heading into the bathroom to clean himself up. You hear him run the shower, followed by the splashing sounds of someone cleaning their body. 

You sit up, and turn to look out the window. You had never imagined in your wildest dreams that you would be joining the mile high club. Heat rises to your cheeks as you giggle at the ridiculous thought.

What’s so funny? ” Jungkook asks, leaving the shower, toweling his hair and walking into the room completely naked. You feel like you should be used to seeing his beautiful body by now, but it bowls you over every time, short circuiting your brain. Your oversensitive core clenches again watching him walk toward you, all long lines and gentle sloping curves that can only come from hours of healthy eating and hard work.

Shaking you head to clear it from your lust, you search for your forgotten phone before typing out:  Nothing really. Just wondering if they make cards to members of the mile high club or not.

His high, infectious giggle bubbles out of him, making his eyes squeeze shut in amusement. You titter along with him, as he drops into the bed next to you. “ Want me to help? ” he asks, indicating the warm wash cloth in his hand.

You nod your ok, and with unrivaled gentleness and complete focus, he sets about the task of cleaning you up. Soft, but firm strokes wipe up the cum you can feel starting to ooze from between your legs, and you’re internally grateful that you’ve been on the pill for years so you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

When he finishes, he tosses the washcloth into the bathroom sink and spreads out. His muscles stretch in a way that reminds you of renaissance paintings, making you wonder how soon he might be willing to try for round two. But his eyes suddenly zero in on your neck and scrunch in confusion, pausing your racy train of thought.

Did it always look like that? ” Jungkook asks rising to get a better look at your soulmark. He inspects it closely, tracing a pattern across your skin.

Look like what? ” you say, nervous energy clogging your throat, before rising to look at your neck in the mirror. 

What greets you makes your stomach lurch in surprise and dread. Your mark, which had been darkening, has turned white, with spidering fern-like patterns radiating from the head and tail of the swan. 

“What the fuck?” you whisper as you lean closer, your mind racing to figure out what the hell just happened. 

Notes:

Oh my god, this was difficult to write. Sex scenes are hard, y'all!! But I hope you enjoyed the little bit of fluff and smut as you fly to LA. :D

So, not only did you both truly confess to one another, you and JK finally did the deed!! But you know I had to have something up my sleeve, didn't you. I couldn't just let it be. I remember watching a documentary about a show I used to watch where seriously it was one huge angst-fest and the writers of the show said that they refused to let anything good last longer than one episode. I really took that to heart, here, didn't I? *evil cackles* BUT we'll get some answers soon from the expert, right?

Oh, and I definitely put some lyrical references to Jimin's new OST in this chapter. Can you find them? They're not exact and kind of obscure, but they're there. ;)

Oh, btw when I named our expert, I looked up words in other languages that basically translated to soul mates. In Irish (according to google translate) anamchara is the word for soulmates and the name Moira means fate or destiny. So her name literally mean fated soulmates. Ahhh!!! ;) I can't wait for you to meet her. Eeek! :D

Thank you to everyone who's asked after my sister-in-law. She's not really doing any better, but she's at least stable for now. We're hoping that things will improve soon. Thank you so much for your love and well wishes. They were truly felt.

And thank you so much for your continued readership, I will continue to do my best to be worthy of your time. Let me know what you thought about this chapter!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Chapter 29

Summary:

In which you arrive in Los Angeles, text your friends, and visit your house

Notes:

Anything in bold is meant to be in Korean. If dialogue or texts are not in bold, they're in English and intentional

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Namjoon POV

 

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, hissing with the sharp sting. Namjoon reached around his torso to rub the aching spot. And just as quickly as the snapping pain came, it left, leaving a dull ache behind. 

He must’ve pulled a muscle during the concert, or something. If it was still hurting later, he’d make sure to talk to their personal physical therapist about it. Make sure it wasn’t a bigger injury.

Now, to just make sure he keeps himself distracted enough to not think about what is most likely happening over and over behind that closed door at the back of the plane…

 

JK POV

 

Noona spent the rest of the flight pacing around the room, looking things up on the internet, tearing at her hair and generally working herself up into a state of tizzy. He ached to pull her into his arms and comfort her. To kiss her forehead and tell her that they would figure everything out. 

But every time he reached for her, she pushed him away, driven like a wind up toy. Pacing around the room like it was vital for her sanity, eyes glued to her phone. It didn’t help that with all the noise of the engines, he understood next to nothing she was muttering to herself. It seemed almost like she was doing it on purpose. Like she was voicing all her doubts and concerns when she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear.

The miserable part of his brain whispered like a noxious, creeping poison, that if Namjoon had been there, she would’ve had no problem running to him with her thoughts and feelings. 

He shook his head, trying to dispel the traitorous thoughts. He knew he loved her. That there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. But did she really feel the same way? She’d said he loved him, but he wondered if somehow his attachment to her was deeper. Because try as he might to be the pillar of strength and reliability for her, it seemed like she always turned to Namjoon with her problems.

His mind was spinning. Going over and over what had happened that day, starting with his being told to sit the concert out, the escape from Tokyo, and finally making love to the person he cherished most in the world outside of his brothers. All of the craziness of the day seemed trivial when compared to the last hour. 

They just had the most amazing sex he’d ever experienced, and instead of cuddling and basking in the afterglow, she was pushing him away. Jungkook may not look like it all the time, but was a true softie when it came down to it. He treasured all the little moments they shared together. All the little looks, the small touches, every single cuddle. And the fact that she actively kept him at arms length after such a pivotal step in their relationship, gutted him. 

So he kept to himself. Sat quietly on the bed, picking at loose threads, his nails, or tracing patterns in the wood paneling by the window. Anything to distract himself from spiraling into a deep depression. He kept trying to tell himself that it was probably just the shock from noticing the change in her soul mark. That it had nothing to do with her feelings for him. But it grew harder and harder to convince himself as they drew closer to Los Angeles.

Suddenly a thought strikes him. The expert! The expert will know! And they would be seeing her soon! Jungkook raises his head to say something to Noona, only to find her slumped over in the chair, her head in her hands. Jungkook’s first instinct is to rush over and take her in his arms to ask what’s wrong. To rub her back while she leans into his protection.

But he stops himself. Even if he did that, he wouldn’t really be able to understand what she was saying. Even though they’d been texting as a means of communication, he felt that the gravity of this situation simply couldn’t be handled through typing. Hey, I know I’m holding you right now, but I have to let go of you while I type out this message on my phone because you can’t actually pour out your heart to me and have me understand it. That’s not how he wants to handle this. It’s so far outside the ideal that it’s actually repulsive to him. Which only fuels his self loathing for not being able to be a good support system for her.

He doesn’t know why or how, but he’s certain this whole thing is his fault. He’s somehow lacking. That the reason he lost his hearing and why his soul mark isn’t showing up, is because he’s messed something up. He’s the problem. And he doesn’t know how to fix it. 

The crushing self doubt doubles down on him and he crumples into one of the seats in the small room, their shared misery mirrored in their bodies. 

 

Your POV

The plane touches down in LA, the sun shining brightly, the heat of the afternoon making the tarmac turn into a liquid haze. The familiar sights of the city sprawling out around you makes you sigh out with a release you hadn’t known you needed. 

You were home. You were back among the familiar. Back among the palm trees and beaches. Back to your old stomping grounds. Back to the place where you belonged. Well, where you had thought you belonged. But now you aren’t so certain. 

The overwhelming familiarity of the city brings you a small consolation, though, easing the fears that had been clawing up your throat for the past few hours.

After Jungkook had pointing out the change in your soul mark, you had proceeded to freak the fuck out. Thoroughly and completely falling to pieces as your mind ran a thousand miles an hour, running through one horrific scenario after another. It had been torture holding back your anxiety attack for several long hours. But you hadn’t wanted your emotions to spill over your bond and overwhelm Jungkook.

So you had insulated yourself, trying to protect him from the worst parts of you. The darkest parts that you knew weren’t fit for someone as good and wonderful as Jungkook. It took every ounce of your strength to do so and you had a dark sort of satisfaction that you had been able to white knuckle it through the rest of the flight.

The thought that had been the most prominent and troubling to keep from rearing its ugly head, was the idea that somehow, by removing that last barrier between you, you had damaged your bond. Like forcing a stuck lid off a jar and cracking it in the process. 

You should’ve known better. Should’ve known things weren’t right between you! The lack of his soul mark and damaged hearing should’ve been enough red flags waving in your face to keep you from taking that last step. Red flags that were practically screaming STOP! But you just didn’t listen. Refused to take into account all the reasons why you shouldn’t have sex with Jungkook.

You dig your fingers into your scalp, trying to massage away the headache that’s been slowly forming over the last few hours, as the plane taxies to the private plane terminal. You look over to find Jungkook asleep in the car across from you, his head hanging over his chest and swaying with the movement of the airplane. Something about his posture seems so closed off, like he’s retreating into himself. You want to reach out to wake him up, to connect with him once more, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to disturb his peace. 

You’re doing this for his benefit, you remind yourself. You’re protecting him. Keeping his soft, cinnamon roll self safe from your rough edges. By maintaining this barrier, you’re saving the man you love from being tainted by whatever wrongness is going on inside you that would cause your soul mark to turn white and scar up like a lighting burn.

The first internet search you’d made after your discovery had been about soul marks turning white. Worryingly, the results had come back with people’s reports of their marks turning white when their soulmate died. But your soulmate was most evidently alive and well. So you dismissed those reports as internet rumors meant to shock or scare.

You’d then looked up ferning burn marks on an image search, looking for pictures of burns like yours. What you found was even more confusing. Countless pictures of burns that looked like yours, but they were all of people who had been struck by lightning! But nothing that would link a soul mark turning white and lightning strike burns.

A light knock at the door disturbs your thoughts and you rise to answer it

We’re here. You guys ready to go? ” Namjoon’s face peers hesitantly around the door. You hitch one shoulder up toward your ear and turn back to JK.

He’s been sleeping for a bit and I just couldn’t bring myself to wake him up.

Allow me, ” Namjoon says with a devilish grin.

You turn to start gathering your bag when a loud, voice cracking yell makes your jump, starting your heart racing.

“Yahhhh!” Namjoon screeches, his voice warbling and breaking like a pubescent boy. Once you’ve recovered some of your wits, you level an irritated glare at Namjoon.

Ya! ” you yell at him, scaring him a bit as he turns to look at you. “ He can’t hear you remember?!

Namjoon has the wherewithal to look abashed as he turns back to look at Jungkook’s form, still peacefully asleep, despite all the yelling.

Ah, right. Umm, ” he trails off, looking adorably lost. He stares at Jungkook like his genius level brain has ground to a halt. You huff in exasperation as you turn to shoo Namjoon out of the room.

Go! I’ll wake him up! We’ll be out in a minute, ” you grumble, shoving him out the door.

Turning back to Jungkook, still breathing deeply in his sleep, you let out a breath as you brace yourself for the task. For some reason it feels like some insurmountable obstacle. But it’s just waking him up, right?

Your hand grasps his shoulder and shakes. Gently at first, but increasing in vigor as he continues to slumber. It starts to feel as if you are violently shaking him when the first signs of stirring appear. Brows knit together, as Jungkook’s face moves from the passive peacefulness of sleep to the fretful unease of forced wakefulness. 

Uhn, Wha… ” Jungkook slurs sleepily. You roll your eyes, knowing that it’s useless to try to explain anything to him right now, but you can’t help the words as they rise to your lips.

We’re here. It’s time to get up.

Come back… ” Jungkook murmurs.

I’m not going-

Love is so painful… ” Jungkook sleepily mumbles. The familiar lyrics surprise you! How long have they had to drill that into this poor boy for him to be spitting lyrics in his sleep?!

But then your heart stops. What if this is his true feelings coming out, unfiltered, unimpeded by expectation and a sense of responsibility. Is this really hurting him? Your love? Is your presence in his life so painful that even in his dreams he can’t seem to escape it?

Your stomach turns and you feel like you might be sick. You can’t bring yourself to touch him again, especially if it would actually be hurting him. You slowly back away, fighting the tears that are gathering at the corners of your eyes. You turn and trudge out of the room, only to be met with the face of one of the beefier bodyguards, presumably waiting for you and Jungkook, as it looks like everyone else has left the plane already.

Hastily ducking your head in greeting, you quickly decide something.

I’m sorry, but I can’t wake him up. He can’t hear me and my shaking isn’t working. Maybe you could… ” you trail off, allowing the bodyguard to fill in his own solution. You can’t bring yourself to rouse him, to be the one to wake him from his nightmares. Especially if you’re the face that’s haunting him there.

The bodyguard's eyes melt into a kind, amused sort of expression. It’s not exactly a secret that BTS’s maknae is hard to rouse.

I’ll see what I can do, miss, ” he says as he brushes past you and into the room. You don’t even wait for Jungkook to wake up, rushing to exit the plane and give him as much distance as you can for the tender first moments of wakefulness.

You see the guys starting to pile into a line of shiny black SUV’s and make a beeline to the nearest one. You climb into the nearest one without taking stock of who’s in the cab. You settle yourself into the car and buckle up before taking note of who else is in the car. The three shocked faces of the rapline all look at you like you’ve grown an extra head.

What? ” you say meekly, pulling out your phone to turn airplane mode off.

Nothing! ” Hobi squeaks out a nervous laugh, avoiding your eye.

We just assumed you’d be riding with Kook-ah, ” Namjoon says softly from beside you. You’re surprised to find him there, suddenly so close to you. Somehow you hadn't noticed that it was Namjoon who you sat next to.

Oh, well. I just thought with all the press, it would probably be better if we weren’t seen together right now, ” you trail off, scrambling with your fake excuse. They seem to buy your excuse because they don’t question you further. Yoongi and Hoseok drop into a hushed conversation in the back, but Namjoon eyes you with a weary look. 

What? ” you say again, defensive.

Nothing, ” he brushes off. You drop into an uncomfortable silence.

So, what’s the plan? ” you ask when it becomes unbearable to sit there any longer without talking.

Plan?

Plan for what we’re doing here? Like with the expert? ” 

Well, we’re still waiting to hear back from Corden, but the initial feeling is that we should be able to squeeze in. Which will mean practice and filming tomorrow and probably for the next few days. I thought perhaps today might be the best day to talk to the police and deal with your house. I heard back from the expert and they said they could meet us tomorrow or the next day.

His words make you freeze. You had almost completely forgotten about your house. Oh god, how are you going to handle that? Any comfort you had felt at being in a familiar place evaporated faster than morning dew in the desert.

Oh, right… That, ” you say quietly. 

Picking up on your nervousness, Namjoon leans in to bump your shoulder. “ It’ll be ok. Do you want one of us to come with you? ” You don’t miss the open endedness of the question. He’s not asking if you want Jungkook to come with you, but any of them. Himself included.

Thanks for the offer, but maybe my friends should come. They won’t raise any suspicion, ” you suggest. He doesn’t seem very happy with the answer, but nods in agreement anyway.

You’re probably right. I’ll talk to Sejin-nim to see about getting a guard to go with you.

Don’t bother, ” you say drly.

What do you mean?

Oh, that Sejin seems to hate me and I wouldn’t put it past him to ‘accidentally forget’ to send someone with me, ” you say, exaggerating your point with air quotes.

Namjoon looks unconvinced.

I don’t think he’d do that.

Oh really? Then what happened to the guard that was supposed to meet me at Jeju? Did they somehow magically get lost in the crowd? Please. There was one way in and one way out. No way they couldn’t have found me. He purposefully left me high and dry, ” you say, finally voicing your complete disdain for the man.

Namjoon still doesn’t seem totally convinced, but he does get lost in thought for a while.  Your statement hanging in the air as the cars start heading toward the city. 

A small tug of guilt stabs you as the city skyline whizzes by. You should’ve waited, should’ve gone with Jungkook. You just had sex for the first time, for godsake. Shouldn’t you be over the moon, basking in the fuzzy afterglow making everyone around you nauseous?

Instead you’re hunched against the car wall, trying to make yourself invisible. Because that’s really what you wish you could do right now. To simply nod your head and be anywhere but here. 

How did things get so messed up in the matter of a few hours?

You turn the airplane mode off on your phone to find you have several texts. Some from Jungkook and some from your friends. You take the chicken shit way out and ignore Jungkook’s texts, not feeling emotionally strong enough to open them just yet.

You open your friend group chat thread and find a litany of texts yelling at you. The block of all caps text makes you huff a mirthless laugh.

Sammie: WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Bridgette: Yeah, what the hell?!

Sammie: WHY ARE SASEANGS SO AWFUL!

Bridgette: Are you ok?

Bridgette: Are you safe?!

Sammie: WHO THE HELL DO I GOTTA FIGHT?!

Bridgette: Calm down killer. She must be on an airplane if she’s blatantly ignoring us. I know she wouldn’t DELIBERATELY ignore us.

Sammie: I swear to god I will strangle whoever’s responsbile!!

Bridgette: Text us when you land

Sammie: Yes, text us and let us know you’re ok and where you are!

 

Your fingers fly over the screen as you compose your reply.

 

You: Yes, I was flying. I’m fine…ish. A lot has happened. I should probably just tell you in person.

 

You hit send and grin at your veiled hint that you’re back in the land of sunshine. You don’t have to wait long for a reply.

 

Sammie: How the hell could you tell us in person when you’re on the other side of the world. 

Sammie: Unless

Sammie: Wait

Bridgette: I’m glad you’ve landed safe. When can we see you?

Sammie: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

You: I’m free today. You?

Sammie: Are you in LA? DOES THAT MEAN THAT BTS IS HERE TOO!!!???

You: Yes and yes.

Sammie: OMIGOD!!!!

 

You let out a laugh, to which the guys only raise an eyebrow before going back to their own affairs. 

 

Bridgette: I can probably clear my evening. Where are you staying? At your place or a hotel?

Sammie: Probably a hotel since her house was trashed.

Bridgette: What do you mean trashed?

Sammie: Oh, right. I forgot to tell you…

Bridgette: Thanks for that, Sammie. >(

You: Someone broke in and trashed my house. I’m actually going to head over there this evening to inventory things for the police report and insurance. Want to come help?

Bridgette: Sure! And not that I care or anything….

Bridgette: But will any of “the guys” be in attendance? Like your soulmate, for instance

Sammie: Of course he’s going to be there. Why wouldn’t he be?

You: No, I’ll just be coming with a security guard. There’s been a lot that’s happened. Too much for me to text out.

Sammie: Damn. Sounds like it might be a good night for soju?

Bridgette: Yes please! I’ll bring some snacks.

You: Ok. I’ll let you know when I’ll be there.

 

You raise your head to talk with Namjoon. “ When can I get to my house?

We’re going to the hotel first and then you can go. Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you? ” His face crinkles with concern as his eyes search yours, hoping to find some evidence of your hesitance. 

No, I’ll be fine. It would be a bigger headache for you all if one of you was seen at my house. Just send me with your lowest profile bodyguard, ” you reply.

Namjoon grunts his disapproval, but nods all the same.

 

It doesn’t take long for your caravan to arrive at the hotel and get settled. And when you settle into your hotel room, things are tense with Jungkook when you text him that you’re headed to your house that evening. 

 

JK: I just don’t understand why I can’t come with you!

You: Because it will be bad if any of you are seen with me. Especially at my house.

JK: Noona, please! It’s not safe!

You: No! No one is supposed to know where you are, remember? You’re supposed to be keeping a low profile!

JK: But I feel like this is something I should help with. I should stay with you! Speaking of, why did you leave me behind on the airplane this afternoon? 

 

You pinch the bridge of your nose before typing out your response.

 

You: I tried waking you up, but you wouldn’t budge. So I let the bodyguard handle it.

JK: You should’ve tried harder!

You: I did! But you wouldn’t wake up!!

JK: Bullshit

You: Seriously! I was shaking so hard and you wouldn’t budge!

JK: Sure… 

JK: You just couldn’t wait to get away from me, could you. You slept with me and now you’re done with me.

 

Your head whips up to gauge his expression and body language. He pointedly refuses to meet your gaze. Instead, his determined eyes never leave his phone, all the while worrying his bottom lip.

The jab hurts, because he’s partially right. You needed space, to be able to feel like you could breathe. And while you were with him, you felt you couldn’t do that. You were struggling with the fact that by taking that next step in your relationship with Jungkook, your soul mark had changed. You still aren’t certain whether it was a good or bad thing, but your gut screams bad thing.

 And if you weren’t already confused enough, he said that your love was painful to him. The rational part of your brain whispers that he’d been asleep when he said that and you don’t know exactly what he meant by it. But it seems like that rational voice is getting quieter and quieter every day. You just can’t make sense of any of it, though. His feelings, his actions, your soul mark… It feels like your mind is wading through a murky swamp, every action seeming to take twice the amount of effort than usual. Why was it so hard to think clearly suddenly?

 

You: It’s not like that. I just needed some space. To think!

JK: Why would you need space? I told you I loved you, we had sex, and then you push me away?! What the hell, Y/N?  

You: Do you know what I found online about soul marks turning white? Do you?

You: It usually only happens when your soulmate dies. DIES, Jungkook! What the fuck am I supposed to think when us fucking made my mark change to a symbol of death?!

 

Your breathing comes heavier and heavier as you type. You smash the send button like pressing it harder might actually make your point clearer. Your eyes are trained on him as he reads your text. The color drains from his face as he reads, his face changing from frustration to fear. Wide round eyes meet yours eventually, concern etched into his face.

Noona… ” Jungkook whispers, reaching out to you. He seems as lost in thought as you feel. It tempers the edge of your anger. But it’s not gone completely.

You shake your head, recoiling slightly from his reach. Comfort isn’t something you want or need right now. You need answers. Answers that neither of you can provide. And until you can get them, you’re going to maintain your distance.

 

JK: I don’t know. But I’ll tell you that it fucking hurt that you won’t even let me touch you. Especially after everything we’ve been through in the last few days. 

JK: It’s a low fucking blow, Noona

 

You are stunned. You are at a complete loss as to how to respond, your mind so jumbled and foggy that you can’t even begin to compose a response. Your hesitation seems to answer some question for Jungkook though. Because he types out a quick response.

 

JK: Have fun at your house without me, then, I guess

 

Jungkook throws his phone across the bed and gets up, storming angrily towards the door. He wrenches it open and disappears into the hallway to go who knows where.

The guilt and dis-ease you might have felt at his accusation evaporates as the heat of your indignation flames into life. Could he not even wait for ten seconds for you to think and type out your answer before storming out like a child? What an ass!

In your anger, you book an uber to pick you up and text your friends that you’ll be at your house within the hour and to meet you there with enough soju to drown an elephant. 

You grab your bag, a hoodie, and a mask and head to the lobby for your ride. You’ll tell Namjoon where you’ve gone after you’ve left, to hell with a bodyguard.

 

When you pull up to your house, apart from the overgrown lawn, the outside looks like it always has, the butter yellow house blending in easily with the rest of the bungalows in the neighborhood. The thing that separates it from the rest of the varying shades of creams and yellows are the bright teal shutters and door that you painted in a fit of low spirits. 

You’d gone through bouts of depression after your divorce, and one day you woke up and decided that the thing that would make you happier was to paint your door. You headed straight to the hardware store and picked out the cheeriest color you could find. It hadn’t looked so bright on the paint swatch, but as you brushed the paint onto the door, you gulped at how vibrant it was. It was almost borderline neon.

You had doubled over laughing at how ridiculous it looked at first and had almost given up. But the more you painted, the more the color grew on you. It almost seemed fitting that it was obnoxiously bright. Almost like it was your subconscious screaming to the world that you would not be hiding any more. You were here and you weren’t going to let anyone shut you up ever again.

As you walk up the two steps to your porch, you take in the police tape that criss-crosses the doorframe. A sign has been hung announcing that no one was to enter without express permission from the police. You pull out your phone and dial the number at the bottom of the sign for the lead detective on your case.

A tired sounding voice answers. And when you explain who you are and that you’d like to get into your house, the detective gives you the go ahead to take the tape down, stating that they’d already gotten CSI to go over the house. They are still processing the prints and other evidence they’d gathered, but it will take a few more days as they are backed up in the lab.

“Just, go through your belongings and see what they’ve taken or destroyed. Inventory it and give us the list so we can register it. We’ll send over a copy of the report for you to submit to your insurance company,” the detective says before telling you that you can text her when you’re done.

You thank the woman and rip down the tape as you hang up. Sliding your key into the lock, you take a deep breath to brace yourself before opening the door. 

What greets you is the sight of your home, your safe space, completely overturned. Broken glass crunches under your feet as you walk in and close the door behind you. The picture frames on the wall by the door have been smashed, the photos either torn up, or missing completely. As your eyes follow the trail of broken glass, you take in the front living room. The comfy boho couch’s cushions are strewn all over the room, the floor and table lamps knocked over, your potted plants (that Sammie was supposed to be watering for you) are dead on the floor, the pots smashed and the vegetation dried and withered. 

You slowly make your way through every room of the house, finding similar levels of destruction in every room of the small house. Thankfully, your home is very small and it doesn’t take long to absorb the scene in every room. 

You stand in the middle of your kitchen, feeling strangely calm. Apart from making a mess, it doesn’t look like much of anything was gone. But you won’t know until you can go through every room more carefully. And before you can do that, you need to tidy up.

Feeling a strange sense of detachment, you head to a small cupboard and pull out your broom and dustpan, setting about sweeping up the broken glass, dirt and other debris from the floor. You tidy up each room as you sweep, setting knick knacks upright, throwing away broken picture frames, and slowly going about setting your house to right.

You’re so focused on your task that you don’t hear the knocks at your door. Sammie and Bridgette’s voices call from the front room. You turn the corner, broom in hand and feel your throat tighten at the sight of your two best friends.

As if you’d been holding back all the emotions from seeing your house in ruins, it all comes flooding over you at once, seeing them standing there, hands full of bags from the asian market down the room, faces shocked at the carnage you’ve yet to tidy up.

Your eyes go fuzzy, your vision blurring around the tears welling in your eyes. You drop the broom where you stand and march into their arms, sobs tearing from your throat as they wrap you up tightly, embracing your wracking body as you not so quietly fall apart.

Notes:

Hoo boy, so many feels. We've officially entered the final phase of this story!! I can't wait to show up what I've been working up toward this whole time!! Eek! I've got so many things up my sleeve and I literally can't wait to write them.

Thanks for sticking with me folks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Thank you for reading!

P.S. - Who's super excited about the comeback soon?! I can't wait!! Eek!!

Chapter 30

Summary:

In which you clean, you drink, and you scream

Notes:

Anything bold is meant to be in Korean. If there's dialogue and it's not bold, it's in English and intentional (usually).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



“Oh honey, it’s going to be ok,” Bridgette murmurs into your hair. Your friends surround you, rubbing your back.

“Yeah. You’re here and so are we. We gotchu, boo,” Sammie soothes.

You continue to sob uncontrollably into their arms for the next few minutes, listening to them coo and murmur soft words to you and holding you tightly between them. 

When you’ve cried all your tears, you pull back. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me,” you croak.

“It sounds like you’ve been through so much in the past few days! I’m surprised you’re not in worse shape honestly!” Sammie says, her voice seeming so loud after the quiet. She’s always been the feistiest of your trio and her familiar sass makes you feel more home than you’ve felt since you flew to Korea in what feels like an entire lifetime ago.

“I still can’t believe Sejin left you high and dry in Jeju. And that sasaengs did this to your house! Why are some people so crazy?” Bridgette says, shaking her head.

“That’s not the worst part,” you hedge. Your fingers creep towards the scarf secured around your neck. With trembling fingers, you pull the fabric free and turn your head to display your disfigured mark.

“Is that…” Sammie starts, staring, mouth agape.

“Yeah. It was fine until Jungkook and I… were, uh… intimate. And then I felt this sharp stinging sensation and it turned white and wound up like this,” you explain to their shocked faces, gesturing to your neck. “When I looked it up online, the only thing I could find was stuff about lightning strike burns and soulmate deaths. It was seriously messed up… I just kinda… lost it…”

“Well, what did Jungkook say about all that?” Bridgette asks, ever the voice of reason. And thank goodness, because you haven’t exactly been listening to the rational part of your brain for the last few hours.

“Umm, I don’t know. I kind of text-yelled it to him… And then he got pissy and left,” you grumble.

“Uh, say what? I’m pretty sure you’ve left out about three books worth of back story there, sweetie,” Sammie quips.

So you show them the text thread between you and Jungkook, hoping that they will see it and completely agree with you. Even though you know they won’t.

“See! All I do is hurt him! It’s better that I keep this distance,” you moan.

“Bullshit.” Your head pops up, turning toward Bridgette. You suck in a breath to defend yourself, but she continues. “There’s a good couple of minutes between these texts. You didn’t respond when he was being vulnerable with you and it hurt him. Do you do that on purpose? Because it kind of looks like it to me. I’d be pissed if I were him too,” she says calmly.

You’re taken aback. Your friends have always been your biggest supporters, have always been there to back you up. Always on your side. This isn’t exactly how you thought this night would go. You’d thought you’d all be drinking your woes away, cursing Jungkook’s name with each shot. Not getting pinned to the wall by your best friends.

“But-” you try, but Sammie cuts you off.

“No buts. You done messed up A-A-ron. You need to apologize to his ass tout suite. You’re being a moron.”

“Text him tonight and let him know you want to apologize. Be open and honest with him about the scary stuff. Honesty is always the best policy in relationships. Hiding anything will always come back around to bite you in the ass,” Bridgette says, squeezing your hands to make her point.

You hang your head in defeat. You know they’re right, but you’re still so worked up to even think about going back there yet.

“I’ll think about it.” Sammie gives you the stink eye. “But I still need to go through everything here and see what those crazy fans have taken from my house. Though, it looks like they were more interested in destroying things than taking stuff, but I need to know what’s missing all the same.”

“Why don’t you start going through things and we will start cleaning up,” Sammie offers, hooking a thumb toward Bridgette.

“What do you mean ‘we’?” Bridgette says, arching an eyebrow. Sammie slaps her arm playfully before pulling her towards the remaining piles of destruction littered throughout your house.

The three of you get to work, setting your house to rights. Even though your home isn’t very large, after an hour's solid work, throwing away broken items, cataloging what’s been damaged and missing, it seems like you still haven’t even made a big dent in the mess. You decide to call it a night and halt the cleaning process for now, in favor of indulging in some gold old fashioned girl time.

As a reward for your hard work, you drink with your girlfriends, relishing in the utter normalcy of the moment. It could’ve been any other night of the week, your friends stopping by after work to unwind, gossip and just hang out. You share all the little things you’ve noticed since living with the guys, Bridgette and Sammie squealing as they fangirl with each observation.

“I swear Jimin is allergic to clothing at home! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home to find him shirtless around the dorm!” you laugh.

“It must be like taking off your bra as soon as you get home,” Bridgette muses.

“Honestly, at this point, it doesn’t even phase me anymore,” you quip dryly before taking a sip of your drink.

It suddenly strikes you that at some point along the way, the guys stopped being these borderline fictional beings that you were sure you’d just conjured up in your head, and became just normal, real, every day guys. 

Well, almost normal, if normal meant being ridiculously attractive and talented, as well as world renowned celebrities. 

Once all the soju and snacks are gone, Sammie and Bridgette decide to call it a night (“Some of us have to get up for work tomorrow morning!”) and head toward the front door. You hug them a few more times before they leave and lean against the doorframe as you watch their car drive away. 

The buffer they had provided for your hysteria is suddenly and very noticeably absent. It sets your nerves on edge, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. As if driven by some unknown force, you head back inside, tidying the house. Cleaning as if the complete and total stillness of the house could be swept away as easily as the remaining piles of glittering, ground glass.

You head to the stairs, wanting to finish tidying your bedroom, when you hear a knock at the door. The sound makes you jump out of your skin. It’s late and there’s next to no one who knows where you are. Who would be knocking on your door at this time of night? Had the sasaengs come back? 

Placing a hand on your chest to calm your breathing, you head towards the door grabbing the broom and holding it like with tight hands, ready to use it in defense at any moment. You peer through the peephole and find a bouncy and nervous looking Jungkook on the other side of the door. 

Confused, you pull the door wide, startling him.

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” you say, before remembering he probably can’t understand you.

He holds a hand up to you, indicating you should wait. He fumbles with his phone, turning on some music, before pulling a handful of white cue cards from under his light jacket. He holds the stack up in front of him and pauses for you to read the words written upon them.

At first, you huff in bemused exasperation at the cheesy movie reference, but you shrink into yourself as you read the cards as he flips through them:

 

I’m sorry

 

I shouldn’t have walked out

 

I should have listened and talked to you.

 

I was wrong

 

As he pulls each card out, your stomach twists even tighter. He is apologizing for needing space after you ghosted him on the plane, yelled at him, and acted like a two year old.

You can’t stand seeing him, trying to fix something he’s really not the cause of. And before he can pull another card out, you bolt out of the doorway and throw yourself into his arms, tears misting your vision.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…” you sob over and over into his chest as all the pent up emotions flood forward. All the fear, all the doubt, all the frustration and self pity… all of it. Every single awful thing that has happened to you since your fateful flight to Seoul a month and a half ago. 

Your tears continue to flow, soaking the fabric of Jungkook’s dark gray t-shirt. And he just holds you, slowly patting your back, your head, seemingly doing everything he can think of to soothe you. As your wracking sobs slowly ebb away, you can hear Jungkook’s sweet melodious voice singing to you.

...But I will walk towards you, step by step, still with you…

He starts to sway as he croons to you in his arms, rocking back and forth with the rhythm of the familiar tune. It’s always been one of your favorite b-tracks and hearing his silvery voice reverberate through his chest and into your ears, settles a mantle of peace over you. Dancing together, under the stars, as he sings, you somehow are able to let go of all the tension you’ve been desperately holding back and feel that for once, you can finally breathe. 

You pull back to look at him, still wrapped in the circle of his embrace. He continues to serenade you, holding your gaze. You smile and open your lips to join him in song, harmonizing with him as best you can (because even the most incredible singers will stray off key if they can’t hear themselves). 

His face lights up as he recognizes the words on your lips, his smile illuminating the entire block. His eyes close in contentment, still singing softly, as he tips his head toward you, resting his forehead on yours. And there you stay, swaying and singing together in that moment. 

As the song comes to a close, Jungkook tilts his chin forward and captures your lips with a gentle kiss. Telling you without words, that everything will be alright, that he will walk this path with you, that he’s still with you.

You pull away from Jungkook, slowly, gently. And mouth, “ Let’s go inside.

He nods and follows you into your small home. Thankfully you had cleared away most of the mess, but the destruction and ransacking of your home was still evident. Jungkook pauses just inside your home, eyes wide with shock as he takes in the bags of trash, the ripped furniture, the broken frames. He seems at a loss for words.

Welcome to my home, ” you say, a nervous sing-song quality tinging your words.

Jungkook’s eyes continue to survey the space before finding yours again.

I’m so sorry our fans did this…

No! It wasn’t your fans. Army would never do this. It was those damn sasaengs. ” You make sure to raise your voice so you can be heard.

But-

No. It’s not your fault. So stop apologizing, ” you say firmly. You move to him and interlace your fingers with his. He hangs his head in acceptance and pulls you in for a crushing hug. 

I’m still sorry that this happened to you.

Well, if you’re so sorry, then you can help me clean, ” you tease.

Clean? ” he asks, clarifying.

Yes. Clean! ” you yell a little louder. He gives you a small smile and chuckle. Something he hadn’t been able to do since stepping into your home. 

Ok! Ok! Where do you want to start? ” he asks, the smile still lingering.

I haven’t even seen my bedroom yet, so maybe we could start there? ” you say.

He nods and allows you to lead him to the stairs. He follows you, as you climb the narrow stairs up to the door at the top. It was originally the attic, but you converted it to the master suite so you could have your recording booth in the bedroom downstairs. That booth is stupid huge and heavy.

You push open the door to find absolute devastation. It’s easily the most destroyed room in the entire house. Your bed has been slashed, pillows shredded to pieces, feathers and fluff litter every surface in the room. You slide your feet into the room, pushing cloud-like piles of down out of the way not knowing what could be hiding underneath the layer of frothy white. Clothes are strewn everywhere, the dresser knocked over, with drawers hanging limply open. 

Jungkook lets loose a string of expletives as he takes in the carnage from the doorway.

As you push further into the room, you see every drawer open, all your clothes pulled out and thrown around the room. The same goes for your closest. Not a single item of clothing remains on a hanger, with the exception of your wedding dress. Instead of being pushed all the way to the side, out of sight where you left it, it hangs in the dead center, drawing your eye, regardless of your desire to never see the damn thing ever again. 

Seeing the solitary dress hanging there sends a shiver down your spine. You’d not been strong enough to throw it out after your divorce, so you’d buried it in the back of your closet, reasoning that you’d burn it one day. But there it hangs, the simple, bohemian style dress hanging like a ghost in the dark recesses of your closet, haunting you with the memories you’d rather forget.

Your knees feel like they might give out at any moment, so you move over to sit down on the bed, taking in the shredded curtains, broken pictures, the general disarray, and find the overwhelming violation of your privacy staring back at you. It steals your breath away. You have to remind yourself to keep breathing, nice and steady. Jungkook stands, stuck to the threshold, mute, unable to move, to enter this den of destruction.

Your fingers clutch at the comforter and stumble across something cold and hard. You unearth it from the mountain of feathers to find a necklace that your grandmother had left you in her will. It’s an old piece, definitely not in fashion anymore, but definitely real in every sense. The gold still shining brightly, even if the precious gemstones were clouded over with the dust of years of disuse. 

Holding it strung between shaky fingers, it makes you wonder why the intruders would leave behind such a valuable trinket. If someone were going to go through the trouble of breaking in, wouldn’t they take some things of value?  

You rise from the bed and head to your vintage dressing table where your jewelry box sits. You didn’t have a lot of expensive pieces, but you did have a few things you’d inherited from when your parents died. Things that, while valueless to most, would be devastating to lose.

Your movement across the small room rouses Jungkook from his trance and he moves to stand next to you. You slowly pull the lid back with trembling fingers, your gut already telling you that something here is very wrong. Was it the placement? No… The weight of it maybe? Too light…

You open the box, the familiar tones of mikrokosmos, suddenly seeming ominous instead of comforting. Jungkook recognizes the box and a ghost of a smile crosses his lips.

Gazing into the purple velvet lined box, the lid finally fully open, you find a single item inside.

A ring. 

A ring that you’re intimately familiar with.

Your engagement ring.

The engagement ring you personally handed back to Trey after the conclusion of your divorce proceedings.

You recoil with a strangled whimper, the box and ring spilling from your fingers as if it had burned you. The noise makes Jungkook jump beside you, making him search for the source of your distress. 

But he’ll never find it. 

Because it wasn’t sasaengs that broke into your house.

It was your ex husband, Trey.

Notes:

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!! You thought it was those crazy fans, didn't you?! The ones who went after the boys in Jeju, didn't you?! Didn't see this one coming, did ya?! Mwuahahahaha!! Trey makes his presence known. I *wonder* what will happen with that. Hmmm... Crazy, possessive, abusive ex seeing "his" woman with someone else? Can't imagine how THAT will go down in a million years. *cackles in evil author*

I made this chapter kind of shorter than the next one because it's gonna be a doozy. And I figured I shouldn't leave you hanging too much longer.

ANYWHO! We had some really great fluffy moments in here before that bomb detonated, didn't we? Jungkook is definitely a softie. And can you blame him for relying on dated movie references to try to get the girl back? And can you imagine listening to Jungkook croon Still With You to you as you slow dance under the stars? *swoon*

Oh, and who caught my A-A-Ron reference? If you haven't seen it, go watch it right now. I'll wait.

You Done Messed Up A-A-ron

Anyways, I'm always eager to hear your thoughts and any feedback you have! Thank you for your continued readership and I'll see you guys in the next chapter!!

Chapter 31

Summary:

In which you talk, shower, and are confused.

Notes:

Any dialogue in bold is meant to be in Korean. Any other dialogue is in English and most likely intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Namjoon POV

 

Namjoon was uneasy. Ever since the crowds had rushed the SUV in Tokyo, Namjoon had been unsettled. Something was not quite right. Something teasing at the edge of his consciousness, just out of reach. Try to look at it, grab it with his mind and look at it, and it would skitter away, like a droplet of water on a scorching skillet.

Most prominent of his worries though, was the fact that Noona had left, without a bodyguard, not telling anyone where she was going or when she’d be back. Gone. Just vanished without a word. She hadn’t even told Jungkook. Which was troubling on its own. But she hadn’t told him either. 

And that bothered him.

Not that she should have to answer to him, but he thought they at least had enough of a relationship… a connection… that she might’ve told him before disappearing. The sting of the absence hurts more than he wants to acknowledge.

Namjoon picked up a book to try to clear his mind, to distract him from the racing thoughts going through his head. After reading the same sentence for the eighteenth time, he throws the book aside, hands dragging through his hair and then across his face.

Where is she?

A smaller part of him worries about Jungkook’s whereabouts, but he knows that Kook took a two guards with him. At least he had told Namjoon where he was going. 

He recalled seeing the drawn and despondent face of his youngest brother appearing at his door hours earlier. Jungkook recounted his fight with Noona. Confessed his guilt about his reaction, or overreaction, thought Namjoon. Asked Namjoon for advice about what to do.

Namjoon had simply said, “ Just tell her what you told me. She’ll understand, Kook.

And so, off Jungkook went, in search of his soulmate to patch things up… again.

Why was it that everything with Jungkook and Noona seemed off. Like they were constantly out of sync? Like they were always a beat too late, missing their cues?

And it seemed to be catching. Maybe that was why he felt that uneasiness. Why he felt like something wasn’t quite right. Things still weren’t settled between Jungkook and Noona, and thereby Namjoon, as the leader, was feeling the ripples of the discord spreading out through the group. That had to be it, right?

He drew in a sigh, dropping his head back against the desk chair he was sitting in. He twirled himself back and forth with his feet, rotating side to side, his mind attempting to assemble the pieces to this puzzle. But it was only getting as far as he was in his chair. Which was absolutely nowhere.

It was getting late and Namjoon checked his phone again, looking for any update from Jungkook or Noona. Hell, he’d even take an all clear from one of the bodyguards. But nothing came. The only thing that came was an increasing sense of dread. A tensing in his chest. 

It was growing, that tightness. Clamping down on his throat and sending his heart racing. Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

He just didn’t know why.

 

Your POV

 

Your breaths come in short, shallow pants. Trey, your douche nozzle ex-husband, had been in your house. Had destroyed your home, had defaced or stolen all of your pictures. He had come into your sanctuary, your sacred space, and made his presence known, the memory of his abuse hanging in the air, like the smell of rancid fish. Nauseating and completely repugnant. 

Your heart is racing, beating like it can somehow outpace the haunting memories of brief, but horrific marriage. You can feel yourself slipping, falling into that space where no one can reach you. Eyes fluttering shut, unwilling to look at the physical reminders that he had been here. Had walked into your home. Had touched your things. Had tainted every good thing you’d built here.

You know you’re spiraling. But there’s little you can do to stop yourself from the slide into tortured recollections. The walls begin to close around you, threatening to draw you under. The sweet release of unconsciousness beckoning to you with open arms.

Until you feel hands on your face.

Noona! ” Jungkook cries. “ Look at me, Noona!

You pry your eyes open, your gaze rolling around the room until your focus finally rests on his familiar face. His reassuring presence grounds you, giving you an anchor to grasp on to, even as your mind struggles to dive back into oblivion.

Tell me five things you can see! ” Jungkook yells, bringing your attention back to his face. A strange mix of fear and determination. 

You still struggle, eyes dragging closed again. His hands shake you softly, bringing your awareness around once again. “ Noona! Five things you see! Tell me! ” he shouts.

His desperation shocks your system into grinding motion, allowing your eyes to flit around the room.

“Bed… curtains…” you grind out, every word a struggle on your lips. “Shoes, feathers…” Your eyes come back to rest on his face. “You,” you finish, feeling the grounding exercise begin to do exactly what it’s designed to do, the words getting easier.

Now, four things you can touch! ” A small relief shows on his face.

“My clothes, the floor under my feet, feathers, your hands.” Easier and easier now.

Nodding, he continues. “ And three things you can hear?

“The cars outside, my voice, your voice.” Your body continues to unwind, your jaw unclenching and your breath slowing.

You’re doing great. What about two things you can smell?

“My shampoo and your cologne.”

You’re almost in control again, the panic held just barely in check. It’s kept at arm's length, but still just close enough to threaten to pull you back without warning. Jungkook looks at you with tenderness now, leaning in, but hesitates from closing the distance completely. “ And one thing you can taste? ” he murmurs. 

Your eyes lock onto his and he leans in, gently pressing his lips to yours. 

“You,” you say, feeling the remaining tension melt from your shoulders as you taste the berry flavored balm on his lips. 

You feel fluttery. Better now that the worst is over, but completely wrung out… Fragile.

Are you back? ” Jungkook says, his hands still hold each side of your face. His thumb gently brushes back and forth across your cheek in an affectionate gesture.

“Yes. Thank you. I’m so sorry for that…” you mumble. The inevitable shame that always follows washes over you. Shame that you can’t figure out how to keep your shit together.. 

You know, I think I’m getting better at reading lips. But my English isn’t that good yet, ” he says with a small laugh.

Ah, sorry.

No, you have nothing to apologize for. You were in distress. Of course you’d default back to English.

You nod, sniffing. Jungkook shifts to wrap an arm around you and you lean into his side, happy to have the support. The silence fills the space around you as you both sit there, wrapping you in a cocoon built from the white noise of the streets outside and the sounds of an old house settling in for the night. It’s peaceful, but slightly uncomfortable. 

There’s still so much you need to talk about, so much that you want to say to him. But trying to have the actual conversation, repeating yourself over and over, practically yelling the tenderest parts of your heart, doesn’t seem like the best course of action. And neither does trying to convey it through texts. Any way you look at it, you can’t seem to find a way to connect, to truly tell Jungkook everything that’s been going through your head. From the airport in Jeju, to the crowds mobbing you in Tokyo, to the changes to your marks on the airplane… All of it seems too important, too big to fumble the delivery.

But you set your jaw. The conversation must be had. Feelings must be shared. Otherwise, how could you claim to love him? To love someone, truly love them, is to fight for them. To not let the little things pile up and slowly chip away at your foundation.

You cast your gaze around the scene of destruction and finally find what you’re looking for: A pen and paper. 

Catching Jungkook’s eyes, you write him a note, looking up at him once you’re done.

 

You: We need to talk

 

His eyes find yours, understanding settling into his features before he nods and takes the pen from you. 

 

JK: You’re right. We need to talk

 

And so, you take the pen and paper and write.

 

You: I’m sorry for the way I acted today. I’ve been so stressed and so scared and I don’t know how to handle it. I want to feel like I can rely on you, to turn to you. But it feels like every time I do, something or someone intervenes. Like the universe is doing everything it can to pull us apart. And I’m scared. I’m scared that something will happen and that we will get torn apart. I’m scared that this thing with your hearing will be permanent. I’m scared you’ll never get your mark. I’m scared that my mark has changed! I’m scared about the sasaengs and the crowds that surround you! I’m scared that ARMY won’t accept us! I’m scared that Sejin will try to tear us apart again. That you’ll always have to feel like you have to fight the company on my behalf. And that one day, it won’t seem like it’s worth the fight any more. And that the company will make you choose. The band? Or me? And I don’t want that. Never in a million years! I know how much you love what you do. And I would never want to stand between you and your music. Between you and the guys. Between you and ARMY. But I love you. And I’m afraid I’m losing you.

 

You hide the words as you write them, not wanting Jungkook to interrupt you as you write. You have to get it all out. Lay all your cards on the table. To be open and honest with him. And he waits as you write. Patiently sitting with you as you lay out the deepest parts of your soul. The fears you dared not to utter aloud for fear it might speak them into being. 

By the time you’ve finished writing everything out, tears are gathering in your eyes, blurring the words, even as you write them. But you do finish. And you hand him the paper and watch as his eyes scan over your clumsy hangul. 

It takes him a while to consider your words before turning to speak to you.

 

“I didn’t really know what was in store for me when I joined BTS, I just knew that it was the right path. That something was calling me to my destiny. At first, I thought it was the fans, then the trophies, the golden glittering world that came alongside the fame. But now I know. It was all about reaching you. You’re the answer to my journey. I was singing to find you.”

 

His fingers brush the tears glittering on your cheeks.

 

Noona. I know I haven’t been the best at showing you how much I love and care for you. I know that I haven’t always handled the company’s interference the best way.  And the stuff with my hearing and our marks is scary. But I know this. I love you. And you will come first. Always. I know that doesn’t solve all our problems, but I know that as long as we’re together, I can make it right. Will you let me try?

 

His words pierce you, lighting a fire within you. The doubts clinging to your heart begin to melt, disappearing as the light of his promise fills you with hope. Hope for the future. Hope that you will figure this out. Knowing that even if things get hard, you will face them together, as one.

The far away wailing sounds of the first bars of Daechwita break the moment. You had left your phone downstairs earlier, so you rise to go in search of it. Jungkook stays on the floor, doe eyes searching yours, waiting for your response on tenterhooks.

You respond by reaching out your hand, inviting him in. You relish the warmth of his hands as he weaves his fingers through yours. He rises to his feet with ease and grace you could only wish for in your wildest dreams and joins you, walking together as one as you head downstairs.

You reach the phone as it heads to voicemail, noticing the several missed calls from not just Jungkook, but also Namjoon. A sinking feeling swells in your gut as you dial his number, returning his call. He’s probably figured out you left without your bodyguard and is calling to not only tell you off for leaving without protection, but also for leaving without a word to anyone.

Noona?! Is everything ok? ” Namjoon’s frantic voice fills your ears not half a second after the first ring. “ Is Jungkook with you? Where are you?!

Whoa! Slow down! Everything is fine! We’re fine. Jungkook is here with me at my house. We’re ok, Joonie.

He lets out a huge sigh. “ Oh thank god.

Is everything ok there? Why are you freaking out! Should we be worried? ” you ask, worry and suspicion starting to creep into your mind at his reaction.

He pauses.

I just… It’s nothing. I had a stupid feeling and it doesn’t matter. I got worked up over nothing.

It sure didn’t sound like nothing. Are you sure? ” 

Yes. I’m fine. Jungkookie is with you, right? When will you guys be back?

Should be soon. We just got… sidetracked while cleaning up some of the mess at my house, ” you say trying your best to hide the residual emotions from your panic attack. Now it’s Namjoon’s turn to be suspicious.

Sidetracked? Do I want to know?

You can practically hear him cringing over the phone.

“It was nothing. Just uncovered some rotten reminders from the past .” You’re being vague on purpose. You don’t want Namjoon knowing you almost had a full on panic attack because you found your engagement ring from your douche canoe ex, and that said canoe was likely responsible for the break in.

It’s fine! I promise! ” you chirp, your overly bright tone not fooling anyone.

Namjoon’s responding grunt confirms his disbelief. “ Well, are you coming back soon? We have a full schedule tomorrow and you both need your sleep.

We’ll be on our way soon. I’ll text when we leave and give you an ETA, ok?

Ok. See you soon, ” he says and hangs up. It’s still so abrupt, that whole hanging up without saying goodbye thing.

You turn to Jungkook, who had been hovering nearby, still holding your hand, waiting patiently. You take in a breath to speak, but abruptly let it out, not wanting to have to yell it. You whip out your messaging app.

 

You: That was Joonie. He wants to know when we’ll be back. Should we go?

JK: Ah. Yeah. We should head home. Are you sure you're ok?

You: I've been better. Nothing a good night's sleep can't cure.

 

He looks at you in complete disbelief.

 

JK: Ok. If you say so. Let's go.

 

You head to the car before your brain snags on a detail you missed from earlier. You pull your phone back out and text.

 

You: Hey! Wait a minute! How did you know how to help me through my panic attack?

 

Jungkook looks a bit sheepish before responding.

 

JK: Well, after the last panic attack we shared, I looked up some techniques on how to help someone through it. It was so scary when it happened to me. I hated that you ever had to go through that. So, I thought it was something I should know so I could be there for you if it ever happened again. 

 

You’re too stunned to speak. This man took it upon himself to find coping strategies so that you didn’t have to feel alone or scared when you’re at your absolute lowest. Between his declarations of love earlier and this, you’re so overwhelmed by your love for him that you launch yourself at him. Tackling him and forcing the breath out of him. He is barely able to keep the both of you upright as you squeeze him as hard as you possibly can. You can’t believe how absolute moronic you’ve been to think he might not care for you enough.

His trilling laughter fills the night air as you approach the waiting car, half carrying your weight as you refuse to let him go. Your heart feels so light as he does his best to extricate himself from your death grip and deposit you into the back seat. You do your best to cement this night into your memory so that you’ll never be so idiotic ever again.

 

The next morning comes all too quickly. You don't remember falling asleep in the car. Or the fact that Jungkook must have had to carry you upstairs to your room when you got to the hotel. Man, jet lag is a bitch. You don't know how the guys do it. It definitely had nothing to do with the massive panic attack you had the night before. Absolutely not. 

You really need to get better at lying to yourself.

You had woken up to a face full of hair, a head nuzzled deep into your neck, and a tangle of arms and legs draped around you, trapping you in the bed. The warmth of Jungkook's sleeping form is almost enough to lull you back into dreamland, but the alarm clock, which pulled you from sleep in the first place, is still blaring.

You reach over and shake Jungkook awake. Lines crease his face as he slowly lifts his head, greeting you with a drowsy grin.

Good morning, ” he rumbles, his voice deeper and raspy with sleep. Damnit, he sounds so sexy in the morning.

You don’t bother replying. You simply close the distance and press your lips to his. It’s sweet and chaste at first. But something changes; a lingering, an increase of pressure… And it catapults you straight past first base and by the feel of it, quickly rounding second.

His hands roam your body, hand slipping under your shirt as he rolls to prop himself above you. You gently catch his bottom lip between your teeth as caresses your nipple. He groans into your mouth and increases his attention to the sensitive bud. 

You love how easily he responds to you, how much you can affect him with just the simplest things. It makes you want to spend the entire morning discovering just how much control you can exert over him. 

Hips press into yours as you continue the kiss, revealing the hardened length hidden behind boxer briefs. And as much as you really want nothing more than to stay in bed and unwrap that man like the gift from god he is, you know you have things to do today. Things like meeting with the soulmate expert and maybe finally getting some answers!

As Jungkook’s hand leaves your breast, trailing southward, you catch his hand.

“We shouldn’t. We don’t have time, ” you say, a bit breathless. He only cocks an eyebrow at you as he tries to escape your grip.

Time! We don’t have time! ” you shout. You can’t help the laugh when you see the devastated look Jungkook gives you. “ I’m sorry! But we have to get up!

He rolls away from you and throws an arm over his eyes, pouting. “ Damn the schedule. I don’t wanna go!

You take the opening he’s given you and slip out of bed, heading toward the bathroom.

Yes you do! We meet the expert today, ” you half shout to him. He only grunts in response. You shake your head as you head into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He’s just so damn adorable when he acts this way. 

The warm water from the shower starts to steam up the room as you strip out of your clothes. And as you’re stepping into the stream of water, you hear the door behind you open. You squeak and turn, trying to cover yourself up. But your brain then helpfully supplies that he’s seen you naked already, so why on Earth are you trying to cover up?

“May I join you? ” he asks coyly, his tone low and seductive.

Breath temporarily stolen, you nod, stepping back to allow him space to step into the shower.

Thanks, ” he says leaning in close. Your eyes start to flutter closed, lips parting in anticipation of his kiss. But instead, he pulls away, a smirk on his face. He turns, and bows his head under the stream of the shower. The equilibrium of the moment has you swaying towards him, as if you’re caught in his gravitational pull. 

You stop yourself before you lean into his back. He knows exactly what you expected and he’s playing hard to get. Well two can play that game, sir.  

You step back, giving yourself a little more space with which to admire his back as the water droplets roll down it. Hands brush water away from his face as he leans out of the water, looking every inch like the perfect model for the bougiest shampoo imaginable. Damn, he is gorgeous.  

He catches your open mouthed appreciation before you snap your jaw shut. He unsuccessfully tries to smother his grin before asking, “ Can you pass me the shampoo?

You look over his shoulder, seeing the bottle behind him , and immediately catch onto his game. But instead of pointing out that the bottle is actually closer to him, than it is to you, you lean close, allowing the tips of your breasts to brush against his chest as you reach around him to pick up the bottle of shampoo.

Here, ” you say, handing him the bottle and putting every ounce of seduction into your voice as you possibly can. You’re not going to be the one to break first. He’s the one who came in here, teasing. And you’re not going to give him the satisfaction of caving. 

Thanks. ” That stupid cocky grin is back. He lathers up his hair, purposefully taking extra time to scrub his scalp. But you’re not complaining. It’s giving you the chance to admire, no, to savor the sight of his bare torso. To see the muscles moving beneath skin, showing off the results of hours spent exercising and dancing. It’s enough to make any woman’s knees go weak. But you do your best to stay strong. 

Can I shower now? I did get in here first, you know, ” you snip. You elbow him out of the way as you employ the same tactics used against you. Except you know that your best advantage is to stay facing him, allowing the water to cascade over your shoulders and down your front. You close your eyes as you feel the water soak through your hair and lift your arms, making sure to push your chest out a little more than necessary.

And when you open your eyes you catch Jungkook openly staring. He’s stopped, hands still threaded in soapy hair, slack jawed, with eyes wide and roaming over your body. You laugh.

Checkmate.

He clears his throat and continues scrubbing at his hair, trying, but failing, to hide his growing erection.

Can you help me with this? ” you say cheekily, rubbing a washcloth between your thighs.

Looking like a deer caught in headlights, he stutters out, “Uh huh,” before sinking to his knees before you and taking the cloth from your hands.

Light kisses pepper the fronts of your thighs as his hands run up your legs. It’s enough to make a girl shiver. He guides one of your legs up and over his shoulder as he brings the wash cloth up to rub you. At first his strokes are light, gentle. But soon, he’s pressing in deeper, giving friction where you want it most. 

Like this? ” he says, still pressing kisses into your legs. His lips draw nearer and nearer your center until he’s so close, just dancing on the edge of your center of pleasure.

Until he isn’t. And he’s diving into you, tongue slicking up your sweet spot, alternating long, flat strokes with fast fluttering flicks.

Your hands come up, unbidden, to thread into his still soapy hair, grasping the strands and holding onto him to steady yourself. The sensation of his tongue on you builds and builds, creating heat deep in your belly that seems to only grow and grow. You wonder how this could get any better.

And no sooner than the thought crosses your mind, does he answer it. Fingers slide up between legs, settling on your core and teasing your folds apart. He feasts on you, like he’s a man starved, and you’re his favorite meal. And when his finger enters you, you swear you see the sparks you feel emanating from your skin. 

He pumps his hand in time with his tongue, fingers meeting no resistance as they’re covered in your slick. He scissors his fingers as he sucks your clit between his lips and you know you’re almost there. Almost at the peak of your pleasure. 

Keep going… ” you pant. “ Don’t stop!

He moans into you and sharply curls his fingers into you, pressing into your front wall. The combined sensations tip you over the edge. Fluttering spasms cover your body as your body milks his fingers, wringing out every bit of pleasure possible.

As you come down from your high, you lower your leg and steady yourself, still weak from the echoes of pleasure. Your face is plastered with a smile, your face glowing as the aftershocks wrack your body.

All clean, ” Jungkook says, smirking. He rises from the floor to capture your lips in a kiss. 

Is that what I taste like? ” you mumble, half embarrassed, half turned on by the taste of you on his lips. He nods, wrapping you up in his arms and leaving lazy kisses along your neck.

Mmm, yes. So good. I think I need another taste. ” He bends to drop to his knees again, but you stop him, laughing. 

Stop! We don’t have time for this! Can I finish my shower now?

He pouts, pulling out all the stops with his puppy dog eyes. It makes you want to throw caution to the wind and stay tangled up in him all morning. But the promise of answers is more powerful and you shake your head.

It takes much longer to finish your shower, what with Jungkook peppering kisses across your shoulders. You draw the line when he insists on helping you wash your hair. As cute and endearing as he is, you know it will add a minimum of twenty minutes onto your already overly long shower, so you divert him, telling him he can help wash your body as you wash your hair.

He enthusiastically sets himself to the task, taking extra time and care washing your breasts to no one’s surprise. You roll your eyes as he switches his attention to your ass as you run conditioner through your hair. Eventually you have to shoo him out so you can finish washing your face and shaving. 

When you're pulling the last of your clothes on later, you can hear Namjoon pounding on your door.

Hurry up! You’re late!

You rush to the door and open it as you finish tugging your shirt into place. He must’ve caught a glimpse of skin, because his eyes go weirdly wide and a pink blush rises to his cheeks. It causes you to flush in response, heat rising to your cheeks.

Can you hurry please? Everyone’s waiting, ” he says, clearing his throat. He was clearly expecting someone else to answer the door.

Yes, sorry! My shower went a little longer than usual. We’ll be out in a moment, ” you say, waving him off. He nods absently and grunts as he backs away from the door and towards the elevator. 

His reaction makes you feel off kilter. Like your axis for equilibrium has been tilted a few degrees past normal and you’re not sure what to think of it. In fact, you try not to think about Namjoon’s reaction at the door as you head towards the rehearsal space you’ll be in today. But it’s like a loose thread. Standing out, calling attention to itself in a way that cannot be ignored.

You find your attention split between Jungkook and Namjoon as you watch them dancing at practice that morning. They run the choreography over and over until it’s as perfect as possible. And between Namjoon’s immense presence and Jungkook’s athleticism, it’s hard to know where to look. 

You feel guilty for looking at Namjoon. For noticing him at all, especially after your emotional night last night and your shower escapades this morning. But there he is, wordlessly demanding your attention. And your mind is working overtime to try to ignore it. They both catch you watching them throughout the morning, Jungkook smiling when he notices, Namjoon looking torn, but secretly pleased, when he meets your eyes. 

It makes you ponder on the connections you have with both men, your relationships with both. With Jungkook, there are definite sparks. An intensely deep sense of passion and attraction. All fireworks and simmering sparks. But when you look at Namjoon, you feel… something. You’re not quite sure what that is, but it’s there. And it’s quickly becoming undeniable. Like the constant buzz of nature, or the quiet humming of a stream bubbling along its way. Something’s building suddenly. Like something’s changed, a stopper removed, a dam flattened, a glass wall shattered. And the depth of that connection is distracting to say the least.

Your head throbs from the pressure building inside as the thoughts swirl around. You take comfort knowing you’re meeting with the expert later this afternoon and make a promise to pull her aside and ask about it later. 

At the mid morning break, the guys all sweaty from practicing and chugging water, Sejin saunters in and instantly sours your mood.

Good morning. Are you ready to go over today’s itinerary? ” he says to the group with a chipper smile that makes you want to smack him.

Now that you’ve finished rehearsals, we’ll get changed into the concept costumes and run the dress and tech rehearsals. Then we’ll break for lunch while we talk with Dr. Anamchara. After she leaves, we’ll start prepping for the shoot with Corden this evening. Everyone understood? ” 

He says this while leveling a pointed look at me. It’s like he’s trying to communicate that you need to be like Harry Potter in the second book, staying in your corner, making no noise, pretending you don’t exist. And you hate him for it. You know you need to stay out of the way today. They are already cutting things close as it is and you can’t be responsible for any more delays, intentional or not. But he doesn’t need to be a dick about it.

You just know that you’ll be bored out of your mind today. It will be the great “hurry up and wait” game. And you really suck at that particular game. You think about inviting Sammie and Bridget to set today to keep you company and wonder what the likelihood of them getting out of work would be.

After Sejin leaves, You saunter over to Namjoon, intent on asking him if you could get some company for the day.

Hey…. buddy, ” you say, awkwardly drawing out the first syllable. Why are you being so awkward with him?! So… I was wondering, and it’s totally ok if the answer’s no, I was just wondering, you know… ” you ramble on, connecting so many stray thoughts that you’re beginning to get lost yourself.

Just spit it out, Noona. I have to get into hair and makeup.

You sigh and deflate a little.

Can I invite my friends to hang out with me today. Or at the very least can I be excused after we meet with the expert so that I can spend some time with them? I feel utterly useless standing around, doing nothing.

“Do you guys just not talk to each other or what?” a snarky voice says from behind you. You turn, your heart lifting, as you see Bridgette walking toward you, Sammie hot on her heels.

“What?” you say, completely in shock, switching back into English. “What are you guys doing here?!”

“Coming to keep you out of trouble, of course,” Sammie cracks.

“But… but how?!” you say, throwing your arms around their necks. You cast your eyes around, looking for Jungkook, thinking he must’ve arranged this.

“Joonie here, I can call you Joonie, right? Called us yesterday and asked us to be here,” Sammie says, plowing through before Namjoon can even acknowledge her.

You turn to look at Namjoon, surprise and sentimentality battling for dominance.

“Joonie is fine,” he says with a laugh, then turns to you. “I thought you’d like your emotional support team on call today. Especially with the expert meeting with us.” He gives you a look, filled with understanding and warmth.

His thoughtfulness cuts straight through you and before you know it, you’re reaching out to fold Namjoon into a tight embrace. He stiffens under your touch for a fraction of a moment, before melting into you. And you relax into his touch, feeling, for the first time in a long time, safe, truly and completely safe. The relief that washes over you threatens to overwhelm you.  So you pull back, breaking the spell of assurance his touch brought before you do something you might regret.

“Thank you,” you say, voice thick with emotion. Namjoon looks completely dazed from your surprise attack hug, but is roused from his stupor at your words.

“Of course. Now, if you ladies will excuse me,” he says hastily as he bows and moves off toward the makeshift dressing room.

“Bye Joonie!” Sammie calls out after him, watching him until he disappears. As soon as he’s out of sight, she turns back to you with eyes wide and a silent scream. “Holy shit, that man is gorgeous! I’d like to climb those trunks, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know,” a deep voice says behind her in slightly stilted English. I turn to see Taehyung has joined our group. He’s giving Sammie a once over and something must not pass his vibe check, because when his eyes reach her face at last, a moue curls around his lips.

Sammie coughs to cover her surprise before reaching out a hand to introduce herself brightly. “Oh, uh, it’s nothing. Hi! I’m Sammie! It’s nice to meet you!”

“Hello,” Tae responds flatly before turning to you. “Jungkook wants you.”

His message delivered, Tae leaves without so much as a goodbye. Sammie scoffs at his retreating form.

“Wow. What an ass. Is he always like that? Jesus!”

“No, he’s usually so nice and welcoming! I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” 

“Well, I guess I know who’s on my shit list-”

“Any ways!” Bridgette says, cutting Sammie off. “I’m glad we could be here for you today! I’m so excited to meet everyone today!”

“I can think of one person I’m not excited to see anymore…” Sammie grumbles, clearly not letting it go. You roll your eyes at her. 

“I’m glad you’re here too! Let’s set your stuff down over here!”

You lead them over to the little corner of the room where you’ve stashed your things and claimed a comfy chair for yourself. You find a few more chairs and pull them over so the three of you can sit and chat.

The guys slowly emerge from the temporary dressing room made from portable standing curtains and you all struggle to contain the fangirl squeals that threaten to draw attention. The song they’re performing on Corden is Run BTS and the concept is an F1 race concept. They’re all in racing jumpsuits of complimenting colors, with some of them fully zipped, some fully without sleeves, and some of them with the top half tied around their waists, showing skin tight under armor shirts. Their hair and makeup complete the theme, looking sultry and disheveled. Giving, for lack of better word, post-fuck energy. Like they’ve just gone fifty laps with you and are about to go for gold on their last lap.

They quickly assemble on the set and start the photo shoot, starting with the full group and then breaking into small groups and individual shots. The whole process leaves the three of you breathless, as the seven deadly gorgeous men make love to the camera, one smoldering look after another. Jungkook makes sure to shoot you knowing looks every chance he gets and you silently hype him up, fanning yourself and blowing him kisses as he works. 

Bridgette and Sammie take turns arguing over who has the best outfit, best hairstyle, best bedroom eyes, and more.

“Jin totally has the whole package here!” Bridgette argues.

“Absolutely not! While I admit his shoulders are basically carrying his entire look, Jimin is totally crushing this concept!” Sammie says passionately. “It would be Taehyung, if he hadn’t been such a jerk to me before,” she grumbles under her breath.

“Well, I think that JK has the best look. I mean, look at him! Those eyes are totally fuck me eyes!” you interject.

“Of course they look like fuck me eyes to you! He’s your soulmate! They are fuck me eyes! Just for you!” Sammie retorts.

“Yeah, you’re unfairly biased here, and as such your opinions cannot be taken seriously. I still think Jin wins, here.” Bridgette crosses her arms and leans back, unwilling to hear anything else on the subject. You and Sammie are very familiar with the gesture and know when to cut your losses. There will be no convincing Bridgette otherwise.

When you look back over to the set, Namjoon is shooting with Jungkook. The two of them draping themselves over the set or over each other, leaning in close, so close their mouths are almost touching. And the sight is enough to send your inner goddess into the stratosphere. It has absolutely no reason being so hot and your increasing discomfort pushes you out of your seat in search of some water. Sammie and Bridgette only cackle at you as you mutter something about needing some air.

As you head to the craft services table in search of a bottle of water, you watch the two men. The photographer poses them for several frames, arms around each other, back to back, and finally with Namjoon sitting back in a chair, legs crossed in front of him, the picture of a sexy CEO in charge, with Jungkook leaning on the back of his chair, arm muscles popping, and head held close to Namjoon’s. It’s enough to set your panties on fire. 

You must’ve made a noise because both sets of eyes flick to yours and the full power of both of their fuck me eyes, is enough to make you finally melt. You whimper and grab a bottle of water, before making a beeline for the nearest restroom for reprieve. 

You slam the stall door behind you and collapse back against the door as you try to slow your breathing. Seeing the two of them, both looking at you like you were the main course, was too much. You expect it from Jungkook. He’s your soulmate after all! But you’re absolutely thrown by the intensity of the gaze leveled at you by Namjoon. What has gotten into him?!

Namjoon looked at you, and for the first time, you felt like you finally saw his true feelings. In that moment, you saw past the veil he purposely pulled over himself when looking at you. 

And the fire in that look was enough to steal your breath. 

Desire, plain and bare. No pulling back, no hiding. Just want. Pure unadulterated want. 

Want for you.

And you’re a bit woozy from the revelation. You’re not entirely sure how to feel about it. You’d have to be dead not to feel something when any of the members of BTS leveled you with a sexy look. They’ve spent ten years working on their come hither stares. But the amount of fire you feel in response to Joon sending you that look is… unsettling. Equal parts wrong but equal parts right. 

What the hell is going on with me?!

A knock sounds on your stall door, startling you out of your head.

“Hello? You in there?” Bridgette calls. “They’re asking for you. I think the expert is here.”

Notes:

Hey! Remember me? I'm sorry it's been so long. I had writer's block pretty bad and I could NOT figure out how to get from one point to the next.

But I figure it out and hopefully will be back into a good habit of writing. I'll try my best.

Firstly, 10 gold stars to the person who can get the song reference from JK's speech.

Secondly, oh boy, this is a freaking long chapter! I think it may be the longest chapter yet! A lot happened. Some things resolved, but some things not. I really thought we'd be speaking with the expert this chapter, but alas, t'was not to be. I promise you'll get answers NEXT CHAPTER!!

I know it seems like I'm just heaping men onto you at this point, but I swear it's all for a reason. Any way, I hope this finds all of my beautiful readers well and I promise to not take so long this time. I'm not giving up this story!

As always, thank you for reading. I truly appreciate each and every one of you and love reading your comments! Until next time!! <3

Chapter 32

Summary:

In which you get some answers.

Notes:

Anything in bold is said or written in Korean. If any dialogue is not bold, it's in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



It takes you a moment to collect yourself before you’re ready to leave the bathroom. As you walk out to the group of gathered people, your heart leaps into your throat and your palms start to sweat. Maybe you’ll finally get some answers to why things are so jumbled.

The doctor turns to you as you approach.

“Noona, this is Dr. Anamchara. Doctor, this is Y/N, Jungkook’s soul mate,” Namjoon says, making the introductions.

The woman, probably in her late fifties with dark skin and bright, twinkling eyes, shakes your hands with surprising strength. “Moira Anamchara. A pleasure to meet you,” she says with a distinctly British accent.

Namjoon smoothly guides everyone through the small talk and introductions, serving as Bangtan’s consummate interpreter. You learn Dr. Anamchara was a biology professor at Cambridge when soulmates were discovered, but moved to Los Angeles when a tenured position opened up at UCLA. She’s been studying soulmate bonds for the last several years and is the foremost researcher on the topic.

“Yes! It’s a fascinating line of study. Unlike some researchers, I believe there are more than one kind of soulmate. While the most notable kind is the romantic one that is proximity dependent, I’ve discovered that there are so many other types of bonds. And they all have a degree of energy exchange, too! Though perhaps not to the same extent as romantic bonds” Her eyes sparkle as she talks, her curly hair bouncing with her excitement. It’s been so long since you’ve seen someone of her age talk with child-like enthusiasm. It’s endearingly cute.

She pauses to give the translators a minute to catch up to her and turns her gaze to you. She leans in to whisper in your ear. 

“I can’t believe that I’m here! Talking to BTS!”

“You’re army?” you asked surprised.

“Of course! My daughter introduced them to me back in 2018 and I’ve been a fan ever since. Though, maybe not to the same extent as my daughter. She’ll be so jealous when I tell her! Well, when I can tell her.”

“I’m sure she will! It’s every army’s dream, right? To meet BTS in real life?”

“I know! And you’re actually bonded with one of them! That’s so exciting!”

Namjoon interrupts your tete-a-tete. 

“So, Doctor, we’ve had some issues between Jungkook and Noona since their bonding. Most notably Jungkook’s impaired heating, but also his lack of mark. We were hoping that you could examine them and see what might be happening.”

“Of course! I brought some of my equipment with me today. I had a feeling that I’d be needing it,” Dr. Anamchara explains.

“Equipment?” you ask.

“Yes! It’s actually the bulk of my research. It’s still very new, but I’ll be presenting my findings at a conference soon, and then hopefully the world.” She moves over to a few hard cased boxes that are stacked near the door. “I’ve discovered that there’s actual electrical energy being shared between soulmates and that their bodies switch operation one of their senses off that energy. This energy transfer is actually visible with a modified radiometer alongside a video camera so that we can see the bonds in real time! It’ll take me just a few moments to set everything up, if you’ll excuse me.”

Her lab assistants set to work assembling the cameras and hooking everything up to several computers. It takes a while for everything to be ready.  Naturally everyone slowly filters out to their own activities; Yoongi immediately curls up on a couch and falls asleep with Hobi sitting next to him and listening to music, Tae and Jimin huddle around their phones giggling, Jin plays Maple Story on his phone, Namjoon reads something on his phone with a furrowed brow and concentration you find devastatingly adorable, while you, Jungkook and your friends sit together in a loose clump. 

“So, what do you think she’ll find?” Bridgette asks, eyeing the set up warily. 

“I don’t know. But whatever it is, it will be more than we know right now,” you mumble. Jungkook is rubbing circles on your back and you can almost feel his nervous energy through his fingertips.

“I think it’s so cool that we’ll be able to see the soulmate bond in real life! Like, actually see it!” Sammie says. “I wonder what it would see if we three stood in front of it. I’ve often thought we were soul sisters.”

You smile. It’s a nice thought; that you might be connected in a more profound way to the people around you. That the family you choose could literally be connected to you. 

“I bet we can ask,” Bridgette says, shrugging.

“I’d love that,” you say. You smile warmly thinking about how close the three of you have become. How you’d literally do anything for any of them. Just because they feel like family. No, something closer than family. Like they’re an actual part of you.

“Ugh! Why does he keep looking at me?!” Sammie blurts out, obliterating the sentimental mood. Your neck snaps to look at her

“Who?” Bridgette asks.

“Tae! I keep catching him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. It’s so frustrating!” Sammie moans. “I wish he’d stop.”

“Well, you wouldn’t know he was looking at you unless you were looking at him, too,” you intone.

Bridgette nods, saying, “The solution is simple. Just stop looking at him.”

“Easier said than done,” Sammie grumbles, shooting a dirty look in Tae’s direction. You catch a simmering gaze coming right back from Tae.

“What about Tae?” Jungkook pipes up, seeming to have caught a little of the conversation. It’s the first sign of interest he’s had since you arrived on location. 

“Nothing. Just that it seems that Sammie has a crush on him,” you say loudly. Perhaps, a little too loudly, because Tae’s and Jimin’s heads snap up to look at you.

“Shhh!! Are you crazy?! Why would you yell that!” Sammie says, ducking down and whispering frantically. 

You and Bridgette just laugh, while Jungkook looks on, still a bit confused. It makes your heart squeeze a little painfully. It must be so frustrating to have people talking all around you and not be able to understand them. Maybe you should start looking up sign language classes for the two of you to attend.

But you don’t want to think about the possibility that his hearing loss might be permanent. That he might lose everything he’s worked so hard for all because stupid management couldn’t seem to keep their stupid opinion’s to themselves. The idea that Jungkook wouldn’t be able to do the thing that seems as much a part of him as the adorable freckle under his lip or the scar on his cheek, makes your stomach churn. You’re not willing to admit defeat yet, though. The doc’s gotta have some answers… Right?

After another few minutes, Dr. Anamchara calls everyone back over. 

“So you’ll have to forgive me, but I was trying to do some calibrations while I was setting up and I was having a hard time because there are soul mates going on all over in here! There’s several layers of bonds readable by the machine. Not just the two of you,” she says gesturing to you and Jungkook, “But it seems like the whole group has a certain type of soulmate bond, as well as several other romantic bonds-”

“I’m sorry, what do you mean the whole group has a soulmate bond?” Namjoon says, surprise and shock showing on his face. He’s not the only one either. The entire gathered group seems to be taken aback after the translator finishes up.

“Oh yes! Didn’t you notice it?” she says like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Several people in the group shake their heads while others say, “No.”

“Oh, I apologize! Allow me to explain,” Dr. Anamchara says, giving a slight bow before continuing. “Soul bonds come in three different forms. I’ve classified them as familial bonds, platonic bonds, and romantic bonds. Familial bonds are the most common. You find them most commonly among your blood family members, but also occasionally in groups of people who spend a great deal of time together working toward a similar purpose. Like troops who have been deployed together for a long while, teams of firefighters or police officers, and also apparently kpop idols,” She says gesturing to the group at large. Stunned faces look back at her, and then at each other.

“But what about the other romantic bonds here?” Namjoon asks, speaking the words that are on everyone’s minds. His eyes cut briefly to yours.

“Well, there’s of course Jungkook and Y/N, but also those two,” she says, gesturing to Yoongi and Hobi. “And those two,” indicating Jin and Bridgette.

“Who two?” Bridgette says, almost deadpan. But her face betrays her, as utter disbelief and shock flash across her face. Shock that is mirrored on Jin’s.

“You two. I assumed you’d already felt it. Didn’t you feel a pull towards each other?” The doctor scrunches her face in confusion. You’re beginning to wonder just how much the doctor is assuming about the group gathered.

“No! I mean, of course I did, but I thought it was just because I am in the same room as freaking BTS!” Bridgette huffs. Jin looks at a loss for words, staring at Bridgette with open curiosity. 

“Hoseok and Yoongi, though?! What the hell guys! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Jimin says, taking advantage of the brief pause and changing direction of the conversation.

Hobi and Yoongi just look at everyone. Yoongi shrugs. “We thought you guys knew.”  

At least Hobi has the sense to look slightly abashed. 

“We knew you had a close friendship, but not that close! Get it Hobi!” Tae hypes, giving Hobi a high five. Hobi laughs while Tae drags Yoongi into a smothering hug. While he tries to look annoyed at the affection, Yoongi’s not fooling anyone. He’s enjoying every second of it.

“Any other bonds we should know about?” Namjoon says with clipped annoyance. He looks pretty shaken at the revelations being made.. 

“Well, I still need to get the machine calibrated, and there appear to be several bonds here, making it difficult to get a good clean reading. There are a few platonic bonds in addition to the familial and romantic bonds.”

“Platonic bonds?” Taehyung asks.

“Yes, platonic bonds are the weakest of all the known soulmate bonds, but you find them usually between people of very strong friendships. But before I can show you any of these, I need two completely unconnected people and astonishingly there are only two in this whole group. It’s you…” she says gesturing to Tae, “And this young lady,” she finishes, indicating Sammie.

“It’s Sammie.” She grinds out her name, all the while locking eyes on Taehyung.. 

If a look could shoot bullets, Taehyung would be a dead man .

“Yes, Sammie! Nice to meet you. Now, if you two could just step in front of the camera here so I can get a control sample?”

The two of them drag their feet, both acting as if they’d rather be anywhere else. The tension between them builds as they stand shoulder to shoulder. Sammie is tensing every muscle in her body to stand as still and as close to Taeyung as possible without actually touching him. Taehyung looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. But there’s something else there. Something you can’t quite put your finger on. If you didn’t know any better, you could almost swear the tension was entirely sexual. You smirk, thinking you’re probably on the right track.

While the doctor continues to calibrate her machines, you take a minute to text the group chat.

 

You: Just so Jungkook is filled in, the whole group has a familial bond, Yoongi and Hobi are romantic soulmates in addition to Jungkook and I. Tae and Jimin have a platonic bond, and so do me and my friends. 

Jungkook: What?! We’re all soulmates?! That’s crazy!!  

Jungkook: Also, I thought everyone knew about Yoongi and Hobi?

Yoongi: Apparently not

Hobi: Well you only know because you caught us that one time

Jin: Yah! You caught them and didn’t tell us?!

Yoongi: We both figured he had, but that you guys were giving us some space

Jungkook: I would never share someone else’s secrets!

Jimin: Is that where you disappear off to most nights, Hobi?  

Hobi: Obviously

Yoongi: Again. WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW!

Jimin: If we had known we would’ve said something!

Namjoon: Can we talk about us all being bonded together? That’s crazy!

Jin: I mean, are you really surprised? We get along so much better than most of the other groups we know

You: Oh! And also Jin and Bridgette are apparently soulmates as well.

Jungkook: WHAT?! JJAHN!!!!

Jin: What?! It’s not like I have any control over that!

Hobi: Should we add her to the group chat?

Jin: No!

Jimin: Why not?

Jin:

Jin: Because reasons…

Namjoon: Because they’re not technically bonded yet. Plus, I don’t know if we can risk another soulmate bond right now.

You: What do you mean “risk”?

Jungkook: Hyung is right, Noona

Namjoon: Noona, this is not the time or place to talk about this.  

 

Not the time or place? Risk another soulmate? Is that really what he thinks of you? What they both think of you? That you’re a risk? That things are so bad because of you and that it would be too much of a hassle to go through it again?

Admittedly, things have not been easy for you or the group since you first bonded with Jungkook. But thinking back on it, a lot of the problems stemmed from the company sticking their noses in where they didn’t belong! If they had just let you be near him, things wouldn’t have gone sideways so much, and Jungkook would still be able to hear properly!

How dare Namjoon say that. It isn’t fair and it isn’t your fault. Why is he punishing Jin and Bridgette because the company was so desperate to keep you at arms length from your soulmate and screwed everything up in the process?

You watch Jin, who’s sneaking shy glances at Bridgette, while Bridgette is clearly not having it. It’s like if she stares at her phone long enough, hard enough, this whole situation will magically resolve itself somehow.

Looking at the both of them, it somehow seems so right. So perfect. You wonder that you never thought of them together before. But seeing them together, now… It’s like they fit together like puzzle pieces, even standing across the room from one another. You hate that the company will likely keep Jin and Bridgette from one another until after his contract is done. Who knows how long that will be?! It just doesn’t seem fair to deprive them of the closeness that comes from bonding with your soulmate.

Dr. Anamchara clears her throat, breaking up the swarm of thoughts in your head.

“Ok, now that we have the machine calibrated, I wanted to show you what an established romantic soulmate bond looks like. Mr. Min, Mr. Jung, would you please come stand in front of the camera?”

The two men nod, rising from their seats near each other and moving to take the places recently (and quickly) vacated by Sammie and Taehyung. As they walk in front of the sensors the screen lights up. It displays a greyscale image of Yoongi and Hobi holding hands, the bodies forming a darkened outline of their forms. The doctor instructs them to be very still as she turns a few knobs and when she does, your eyes widen in surprise.

On the screen, surrounding the two of them, are trailing lines that move between and through the two men, marching across the screen like a helter skelter maze of little highways, criss-crossing the space around and between them. Each line pulses with a pink light, illuminating their forms. It’s amazing to see what you assumed to be energy particles dancing between and around them, the perfect visual representation of what the soulmate energy transfer had always felt like to you.

“As you can see here, the lines are smooth, flowing easily and steadily between the two men. The pink color indicates a certain frequency that we’ve assigned to romantic bonds,” Dr. Anamchara states. You marvel at the complexity of the image for another moment before she thanks them and asks for you and Jungkook to step in front of the camera.

The nerves in your belly rise, making you feel jittery and nervous. You vaguely wonder if that could be seen through this machine or not. Jungkook reaches for your hand, giving it a little squeeze of reassurance before pulling you in front of the giant camera. Your heart is pounding and it’s Namjoon’s gaze that catches your attention. He mouths, “Breathe,” and mimes taking a deep breath. You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath, but it comes out in a shaky rush of air.

The doctor’s brow furrows as she stares at the screen. She twists a few knobs and types furiously on her keyboard as she looks and looks. And with each passing second the crease between her eyebrows deepens.

“Interesting. Very interesting…” she murmurs. 

“What’s interesting?” you ask.

“Mr. Kim? Namjoon? May I ask if you would join them please?” Dr. Anamchara says with so much ease. Like the effect of what she’s just said wasn’t a bomb that’s been detonated.

Everyone stops talking. Everyone openly stares at either you and Jungkook, or Namjoon.

“Me? Why me?” Namjoon asks, his voice quavering slightly.

“There’s something I’d like to confirm. If you would, please?”

His steps seem to land in slow motion as he walks over to stand beside you, each step landing in time with the deep resonating thud of your heart. His dominating presence seeps into you as he comes to stand next to you, the opposite side from Jungkook, filling your soul with butterflies and stone in equal measure.

Very interesting…” Dr. Anamchara murmurs again, writing feverishly in a notebook beside the keyboard.

“What?!” Tae says impatiently. “Tell us!”

After a long moment, she says, “Well, it seems that all three of you are soulmates.”

Notes:

Kisses!!

XXXX

(I can't wait to see the chaos in the comments section)

Chapter 33

Summary:

In which things are settled, someone is hired, and someone is fired.

Notes:

Everything in bold is spoken in Korean. If any dialogue is not bolded, it's in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The floor seems to drop out from under you. Two soulmates? How is that possible?! Your mind is scrambling. Trying to grasp onto anything that makes this all make sense! Two soulmates? The room starts to spin a little as your breathing turns rapid. 

Called it! ” a voice rings out. “ Pay up everyone!

Your head pops up to see Jimin grinning from ear to ear, hand beckoning to the others. 

“W-what? ” you stammer.

Oh please, you don’t think we’ve all noticed the three of you mooning over one another this whole time? ” Jimin says, watching a few of the guys pulling out their phones to transfer the money.

Yeah. You weren’t exactly subtle with your mooning, Joonie, ” Hobi says.

Excuse me? ” Namjoon says, taking an angry step towards the gathered group. 

Fearing a fight, you reach out and grab onto Namjoon’s wrist and a rush of sensation washes over you. It runs through your fingers and into him, little dancing fairy-light touches of energy envelop you, running to Namjoon, and then back and out into Jungkook.

It’s so familiar you could cry. It’s the rush of a soulmate bond. 

Namjoon stops, looking at your hand on him, his eyes glistening and face tight, trying to keep his emotions bottled up. 

Namjoon ,” you whisper, trying to will him to look at you.

Y/N -” he breathes.

Say it again, ” Jungkook breathes out, so softly, you almost miss it. Your head snaps to him, eyes wide.

What? ” you say.

Say… it… again ,” Jungkook says again, slowly drawing out the words as a smile grows on his face. “Say our soulmate’s name.

“I said, ‘Y/N’,” Namjoon says, joy and awe spreading through him at lightning speed. 

It takes a few seconds for it to click for you though. 

He heard you. 

Jungkook heard Namjoon whisper your name!

It’s only then that you realize that you’ve been holding Jungkook’s hand in yours this whole time, connecting the three of you. Finally closing the circuit. You can feel the energy floating around you, not the rushing or crackling you’re used to. It’s the calm, ever present hum of serenity. 

It moves with you, breathes with you, folding all three of you into its embrace. And if the looks on Jungkook’s and Namjoon’s face are anything to go by, they must feel it too. Feel that peace, that cosmic serenity. All of you tucked into a pocket of completeness, in a world all of your own. The only things existing being you and your soulmates.

The feelings you have towards Namjoon are different from what you felt with Jungkook initially. When you first bonded, it had been an anxious energy, a nervousness, the breathless rush of the unknown and exciting. But it’s morphed into so much more. Like you could do anything as long as he is with you. He pushes you, makes you want to take risks and try new things, to be bold. And you know he’ll be right there with you the whole way, holding your hand.

But with Namjoon, it’s like he’s the soft place you land. Even from the beginning, he’s the one sheltering you from the bad, protecting you from potential threats. Namjoon is the steady rock, the lighthouse, the constant that grounds you and brings you in the moment. He is safe. Secure. Steadfast. 

And you realize that you need both of them to feel balanced. 

Yah, Jungkook-ah! You can hear again?! ” Jin yells, bursting you out of the little bubble the three of you had seemingly occupied.

What? Yeah, I guess I- ” Jungkook says, dazed.

And suddenly, all the guys pile in on him, pulling him away from you and Namjoon. They smother him with hugs, jumping around him like overexcited puppies. Watching the dogpile, seeing how much his hyungs love and care for Jungkook, makes you smile.

Namjoon squeezes your hand, bringing your attention back to him.

“I knew it…” He breathes heavily. “I don’t know how… But I knew,” He says softly in English. He can’t seem to meet your eyes, preferring to look at your hand in his. It looks so small in comparison. 

“But how? How is this possible?” you whisper back in wonderment. You feel both lost and found. Like something has finally returned home, a piece of you you hadn’t quite realized you were missing. The last piece of the puzzle that is you.

You get wrapped up in your thoughts, pondering the sheer mystery of this revelation. It’s then that Doctor Anamchara clears her throat, bringing the boy’s cacophony to an abrupt end.

“Might I ask for a little decorum?” she says, addressing the rowdy men, but without any real bite. You can tell she’s just as excited about this discovery as the rest of them, but trying to keep it professional.

Yes, sorry, ” Hobi blushes and the rest of the guys usher Jungkook back to your side. 

You don’t remember telling your brain to pick up Jungkook’s hand, but your fingers find his anyway, tangling into them. And the comforting presence of the soulmate energy fills you once more. You could almost believe you are glowing with how happy you feel, how right everything seems.

“Thank you. If I could, I’d like to see the three of you back in my lab soon, where I have more sensitive equipment. I think it is warranted given the… unusual nature of your situation. But for now, I’d like to get a few more readings off the group as a whole. It will be an interesting study of the interplay of your soulmate bonds.”

She organizes the group to stand in front of the camera and you’re loath to let go of either Jungkook’s or Namjoon’s hands, but you do, preferring to hover next to the screen with your friends and the doctor.

As the doctor is able to focus and refine the images, you can see the energy moving between the seven men, a slow swirl of purple energy. 

“Are different bonds different colors?” Bridgette asks Dr. Anamchara, watching the screen.

“Yes. Romantic bonds can be seen as shades of pink, while familial bonds are purple and platonic bonds are blue. 

It makes so much sense now why the guys all seem to share the same brain cell, how they all get along so well, why they’ve been so successful. On a molecular level, these seven men were made to work together. Even though they’ve never noticed it, they’d been sharing each other’s energy and fueling one another all along. A smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“Just as I suspected. A very strong familial bond. See how thick the banding is? You all must love each other very much,” she says, turning her monitor around so they can see. They all look at one another and smile, some clapping others on the back.

When Jimin finally joined the group, I felt like the final puzzle piece clicked into place, ” Namjoon says, putting a hand on Jimin's shoulder and regarding the group with a fatherly pride.

Who’s next? ” Tae asks, bouncing and clapping his hands, turning the full weight of his Taetae look on the researcher. “ Me and Jimin?

The researcher laughs and readily agrees. As expected no one can resist his Taetae face… Well, maybe almost no one , you think, sneaking a glance at Sammie, who is glaring at him. 

Taehyung and Jimin jostle each other like little school boys, lining up to have their bond examined. And sure enough, blue lines of energy float around them. Bridgette pipes up next, wanting to see the bonds between your friend group. You catch the sneer and cutting looks from Tae and Sammie as they pass each other. You hope that doesn’t blow up somehow.

Everyone takes turns hopping in front of the camera like it’s a photobooth in the mall, but when someone finally suggests Jin and Bridgette get in front of the camera, Sejin steps in.

I’m sorry, but no. We can’t take any chances that they might bond. ” You had almost forgotten the man existed, you had been so happy. But the man is the literal definition of a wet blanket. 

Excuse me? Don’t you want to confirm that they are, in fact, soulmates? ” you say. 

No. If we don’t confirm it, it is easier to deny to the press later. Plus, we won’t have any control over the place where a potential soul mark would become visible. It’s been fortunate that Jungkook’s mark seems to be missing, but we just can’t take the risk right now. Not after everything… ” he trails off, giving you a pointed look.

You mean after everything you’ve done to screw up the relationship between me and my soulmate?

Anger builds in your chest and you take a step towards the man, wanting to get in his face. Sejin has done everything short of poisoning you with a night apple to try to sabotage things for you. And now feels like the best time to try to right some wrongs.

You’re ready to go toe to toe with this idiot, until two different hands grab each of yours. The calming energy of your completed soulmate bond washes over you. 

Noona, he’s right. It’s not the time or place for this, ” Namjoon soothes. 

You cannot believe the words coming out of his mouth right now.

Please tell me you are not siding with this windbag!

Noona, please, ” Jungkook tries.

No! Are you seriously trying to justify keeping two soulmates apart? After everything they’ve done to us?! ” you say to Jungkook, incredulous.

It’s not forever! But right now, we have a lot to manage. A lot of bad press to cover for. It would be so hard for Jin. For the group. Let alone how hard it would be for Bridgette. Was it easy for you to give up your life to follow us around? ” Namjoon says evenly. His rationality infuriates you. How can he be so calm?! But as much as you want to throw it all back in his face and say, ‘Yes! Iit was easy!’, you can’t. 

It was hard for you. You were alone, in a country where you had no friends, no family, no support system outside of your soulmate, who seemed to want nothing to do with you initially. It was so, so difficult.

But it was only made more difficult with the interference of the management team. You had to claw your way into Jungkook’s life. And once you had, you felt you had to constantly justify your position there… to be with your own fucking soulmate! They tried, almost successfully, to tear you apart, much to the detriment of their own talent. And to see the seeds of it happening all over again is unconscionable. 

No. It wasn’t easy. It was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done. But not because I had to give anything up. It was because I had to fight tooth and nail to be near Jungkook. Every opportunity possible, Sejin tried to keep us apart ,” you turn to jab an accusing finger towards the man in question. “ How can you not see that the whole reason we are here in Los Angeles right now is because of him? Because of the actions taken by management to keep us from one another? Sometimes it felt like he was personally trying to make my life hell!

You could hear a pin drop after your tirade. You had started calmly. Determined to respond in kind. But the longer you spoke, the more your true feelings came to the surface, your mistrust and hatred spilling into the open.

Mine are not the only reasons we are here, Y/N-ssi. ” Sejin’s voice is laced with venom. “ Need I remind you of every single misstep? You are not cut out for this life. I was simply trying to keep your taint to a minimum.

The air evaporates from your lungs.

He’s not denying it. Not any of it.  

The realization of that short circuits your brain. You had been trying to craft a witty comeback, some explanation, some finer detail to call him out on his bullshit. You hadn’t been prepared for him to actually admit to it.

Sejin-ssi, ” Jungkook says, reproach and betrayal twisting his features.

But the pernicious truth remains. You have not always reacted to the pressures put on you in the best way possible. You’ve responded with impulsiveness, with reckless abandon. You’ve exposed not only yourself, but Jungkook to public scrutiny. In the coziness of your insulation from the outer world this morning, you’d almost forgotten how you’ve had to deactivate all your social media accounts in the last few days because of death threats from crazed fans. How your kiss in the airport called Jungkook’s character into question. And the doubt you’ve had about your ability to be good enough for not just one soulmate, but now two soulmates, slams back into you.

You’re saved from having to respond because Sammie, whose face you now notice is completely red, steps forward and shoves a finger into Sejin’s chest.

“I knew you were a weasel. But I didn’t think you were also an idiot of moronic proportions! How the hell was my best friend supposed to be expected to know how to manage the ins and outs of being attached to someone famous?! All the geniuses up in Hybe couldn’t think to assign her someone to help her through this? To know what was going to be expected of her? No! Of course not! Being the dumbasses you are, you set her up to fail and then blamed her for it! Well guess what jackass, not only do you absolutely NOT get to treat my best friend this way, I will be fucking sure that she is taken care of properly from now on.” Sammie steps forward, shoving her hand into Sejin’s direction. “Sammie Beaufort. Y/N and Bridgette’s manager, effective immediately.”

Everyone stares at her as Sejin looks at her hand with distaste.

“And as their manager, I’m sincerely concerned about overexposure to noxious gasses from a certain overreaching windbag. So I’m taking my clients somewhere safe to recover. If you would like to contact either of them, you can talk to me. Namjoon has my number. Let’s go, ladies.”

You and Bridgette stand there, mouths agape, as Sammie collects you up and leads you to the exit, leaving the gathered group in stunned silence.

When you’ve walked out of earshot distance, Bridgette says, “Sammie! You are such a badass!”

“I know,” she replies with a sniff.

“How did you know what Sejin was saying, though? You don’t speak Korean!” Bridgette asks, flabbergasted. 

“I had a translator app open that was getting everything. It was like real life subtitles!” she laughs.

You have to give it to her. The girl was resourceful. But then a thought stops you in your tracks.

“But Sammie, do you know the first thing about being a manager?” you say, a nervous laugh finally escaping you.

“No, but I’ll figure it out,” she says, but stops and turns to look at you and Bridgette seriously. “Because if you think I was going to sit there and let either of you continue to be treated that way, you are idiots. Plus, us soul sisters gotta stick together, right?”

Bridgette breaks first, throwing her arms around yours and Sammie’s necks. 

“Oh my god! What would I do without you guys?” she says.

“I don’t know, but I know one thing for certain,” you say.

“What?” they say in tandem.

“Hybe won’t know what hit ‘em.”


Namjoon POV


Namjoon watched his soulmate’s back disappear around the corner. His soulmate! He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised. He’d found Dr. Anamchara’s research in his vain attempts to explain his inexplicable pull towards a girl that was completely off limits. Or so he thought.

He learned so much about the different types of bonds. He’d almost convinced himself that what he had with Noona was one of the other types of bonds, because no way he could be romantically linked to her when Jungkook already was. Even if his heart ached to see her happy without him.

But watching her leave, seeing her angry face as he tried to convince her that the kindest thing for both Jin and Bridgette was to put off their bonding until BTS weren’t active any longer, tore at his heart. On the one hand, he had to do his duty to his band, to his brothers first. He’s been with them longer. They deserved his guidance as leader. But on the other, the fire in his gut told him that he was betraying the fragile trust of a woman who’d been burned by Bangtan too many times already.

Speaking of which , Namjoon thought, Sejin needs a serious attitude adjustment, right now.

Setting his shoulders, Namjoon turned to speak to the manager before he could scurry away. He would try to approach him gently, though. So as not to scare him into defensiveness before he could get some answers.

Sejin-ssi, how long have you been with us?

What? ” Sejin said.

I asked how long you’ve been with us? How long have you been our manager?

Sejin shrank under Namjoon’s scrutiny. 

Since the very beginning. You know that.

Right. The beginning. You’ve watched us grow up. You’ve watched us fail and you’ve watched us succeed.

Sejin swallowed as Namjoon stepped closer, using every scrap of his imposing stature to cow the man.

And while I can appreciate your dedication to protecting us, even from ourselves, I tell you that you’ve overstepped here. Jungkook’s soulmate… My soulmate… is not a stain on BTS. He took a deep breath before continuing. Tell me. Did you actively try to keep Jungkook away from Noona?

Namjoon-ah, you don’t-

Just answer his question, ” Jungkook growled.

I- I mean, it was arranged-

Don’t even try to weasel your way out of this, manager-nim. Tell the truth, ” Yoongi said, a grim set to his mouth. An expression that is mirrored on all seven faces of BTS.

Sejin spluttered, trying to find an ounce of sympathy from the gathered group. And finding none, he finally crumpled in defeat.

Yes. I did.

How exactly, ” Jungkook said, grim.

I… ” Sejin hesitated, not wanting to incriminate himself further. But when Hobi took a step towards him, his normally happy features cold, Sejin relented. “ I told the press about his dinner with her back in Seoul to break it up early. I changed her tickets so she couldn’t fly in first class when we flew to Jeju. I even…

You even what? ” Tae said flatly.

I tipped off the sasaengs when we left for Tokyo.

You? You tipped off the sasaengs? ” Jimin said, hurt and betrayal painted on every feature.

I only meant to slow her down! I never intended for any of you to get hurt! You know I’d never hurt you, Jimin-ah! ” Sejin pleaded, reaching for him.

Did you even arrange for someone to escort her through the craziness at the airport? Especially knowing what those fans did to Namjoon and Jimin?! ” Jungkook yelled. Sejin’s shrinking form was enough of an answer.

Thank you for your honesty, ” Namjoon said, his outward expression of calmness only betrayed by the flinching of his jaw muscles. “ You’re fired.

What?! ” Sejin shouted. His shock and outrage made a few members take a step back in surprise.

“I thought he was pretty clear. You’re fired. Get out. I never want to see you again, ” Jungkook grinds out.

You don’t have the authority to- ” Sejin tried.

Oh, I think you’ll find I do. Please leave. Or I’ll have security escort you out, ” Namjoon said, venom in every word.

But we’ve been together so long! Who knows you better than me?! I know what’s best for you! ” Sejin shouted. 

He was grasping at straws, anything that might keep him in their good graces. But Namjoon’s patience had finally run dry.

EXACTLY! You should’ve known better than to sabotage our happiness! I knew that you didn’t exactly approve of Noona, but I never would’ve expected this betrayal! Not from you.

All I did was protect you from someone who would’ve hurt you far more-”

ENOUGH! ” Namjoon roared. All the members of Bangtan looked at their leader in surprise. Very rarely did Namjoon let the lid off his emotions. But when he did, it was scary. “ Get… Out… ” Namjoon whispered, barely keeping it together.

Their security team finally stepped forward, escorting a shouting Sejin toward the door. The same door that Namjoon’s soulmate had just disappeared through. And thinking of Noona, made his heart ache. He wanted her to come back. But he knew her well enough to know she needed some space to cool off.

“Should I just… go?” a timid voice asked.

Confused, Namjoon looked up to see the embarrassed form of Dr. Anamchara.

“I think that might be best. We still have work to do here and we’ve wasted enough time as it is. But I know I have a lot of questions for you, and I’m sure Jungkookand Noona do too. Can we arrange a time to speak later?”

“Of course. Here’s my card. Contact me when you have some time.”

And with that, the expert and her assistants packed up and left. Namjoon wanted nothing more than to sit down with her and ask the thousands of questions that were currently swirling around in his mind, but they had a shit ton to do.

But first, he needed to check in with two people. Jungkook, and Jin.

He wondered which one would need him most now. While Jungkook had been through so much, he instinctively knew that the younger man needed some space to process everything before he’d be ready to talk. So, Jin it was.

Hyung, how’re you holding up? ” Namjoon asked as he walked over to him.

Well, you know. Handsome as always.

Jin always did resort to humor and deflection whenever he was really uncomfortable.

Hyung… ” Namjoon probed.

Who would’ve guessed that both of our soulmates would be foreigners, huh? ” Jin said contemplatively.

I always wondered about myself. But I never thought you would.

The two men stood in silence as the rest of the room scurried to get back to work.

Does it hurt? ” Jin asked quietly. He was pointedly not making eye contact with Namjoon. But Namjoon could hear the little quaver of his nervousness as plainly as he could see Jin’s handsome face.

No, not at all. It was just… easy. ” 

Jin nodded, folding his arms around himself.

Good. Good…

Don’t worry hyung. When the time comes, it’ll just feel… ” Namjoon struggled to find the words. Which made him chuckle a bit. He, the master lyricist of the group, couldn’t find the words to describe just how wonderful the soulmate bond was. How does someone describe something so big, so intimate? Namjoon was sure the words didn’t exist. He’d just have to make them.  “ It’ll just feel… good, ” he laughed. He would just have to make it later, he guessed.

Do you think she’ll like fishing, hyung? ” Jin said. He looked so small to Namjoon, that he couldn’t help but throw his arm around those broad shoulders. Namjoon smiled as he led Jin back towards the set to get back to work. 

If she doesn’t already, I’m sure she will. She is your soulmate after all.

Notes:

Happy birthday Namjoon! I was able to get the last update up in time for Kookie's birthday and I was so happy to get this one ready in time for our fearless leader's birthday. So of course we had to get a POV from him!

So??? What do you think? Y/N is finally bonded with all her soulmates! We will get more on that later, I promise! But there was so much other stuff that needed to happen this chapter to set up the final arc of the story. We are in the the final stretches of this story, but it's far from over! I have *plans* (insert evil mustache twirling here).

What are you favorite parts of this chapter? Mine are definitely Sammie's kick assery and for Sejin getting the sack! I legit loved writing those parts. Hybe is not ready for the force that is Sammie Beaufort. Hahaha!

Any way, happy birthday Joonie! And thank YOU, my lovely readers, for sticking with me! I really appreciate it! I'm looking forward to your comments!

Chapter 34

Summary:

In which Jungkook considers the revelations of the day, Jin and Bridgette meet, and you talk with Namjoon and Jungkook

Notes:

Any text in bold is meant to be said in Korean. And dialogue that isn't bold is in English and most likely intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook POV

 

To say Jungkook was overwhelmed was an understatement of monumental proportions. For the past few days, the volume of the world had been turned down and a constant white noise obscured his hearing making the world fall into sizzling silence. 

But then to suddenly have all the sounds in the world rush back to him when Noona had grabbed Namjoon’s hand… Well, it was a lot to take in. He’d never realized how many sounds his brain usually filtered out until they all demanded his attention at once. 

Most distracting, however, was the revelation that Namjoon was his and Noona’s soulmate. Or was it just Noona that was Namjoon’s soulmate? He wasn’t sure how this all worked. He hadn’t had a chance to ask the doctor his questions, what with Sejin revealing his true colors. It had almost been more shocking than learning he might (or might not) have another soulmate. 

Jungkook thought back over every interaction with their former manager, every look, every word. And seeing it through his current lens, he could see the disdain, could see how much Sejin had tried to get away with treating Noona, his soulmate , like a piece of moldering garbage. It hurt to think that he had ever given the man the benefit of the doubt.

Jungkook had thrown himself, perhaps a bit too hard, into their remaining rehearsals and taping that afternoon to distract his thoughts. If he was moving and singing, he didn’t have to think about anything that had come to light today. 

In fact, the whole group seemed to be of the same mind; everyone singularly focused on their performance. And through tacit agreement, not one word was mentioned about the day's revelations. Well, except for Hobi and Yoongi being soulmates and not telling everyone.

Namjoon seemed to be barely keeping it together, though. He was twitchy and distractible, clearly wanting to be somewhere else. Jin eventually stepped in to help lead the group through the rest of the day.

The car ride back to the hotel was a quiet one. Jungkook, Namjoon and Jin rode back together in a large SUV. And the air was full with all the words left unsaid. It wasn’t until they were within eyesight of the hotel that Jin spoke up. 

Do you really think I shouldn’t bond with my soulmate right now? ” he asked.

Namjoon locked eyes not with Jin, but with Jungkook. The storm of emotion hiding behind his impassive face was clear to Jungkook. But then again, he wondered if it might not be some kind of soulmate insider knowledge. Like the way he knew how Noona was feeling, even if she didn’t share it with him.

It’s complicated, Hyung, ” Namjoon sighed.

Jungkook nodded in agreement. “ On the one hand, it’s an incredible feeling… to be with your soulmate. But we have to think about the fans, Jin-hyung. What will they think? ” he said. “ So far they’ve not been so kind to Noona. I want to protect her from all of it, but I know I can’t… I feel so helpless.

Yeah, but… she makes you better, ” Jin says almost under his breath.

What? ” Jungkook said, confused.

Since you’ve bonded with Noona, you’ve come out of your shell. You’re more even tempered. Happier... Even if things have been mishandled with the media, she’s made you shine brighter. And… And I think I want that. ” Jin’s voice was barely above a whisper. Almost like he was trying to convince himself, as well as the others.

Jungkook was shocked, though. Was Jin right? Was he happier? Things with Noona had been such a rollercoaster. Between the panic attacks, the media, Sejin’s interference, the separation, his hearing loss… He couldn’t say if he was happier. 

But then he thought about what it was like to see Noona happy, to be the one responsible for that blinding radiance that shone from her whenever she smiled. He loved her voice, hearing her sing, even her terrible attempts at rapping. Just being near her made him happy. Happier than he ever thought possible. Even more than when he thinks of his hyungs, who’ve been his family, his world, for the past decade of his life.

Maybe he was happier. 

It surprised him, how slowly she had infiltrated every aspect of his life and made even the most mundane moments exciting and new. How her presence simply lifted him up, so he could bask in her light.

But happiness can’t fix everything.

You know what, Jin-hyung? She does make me happier. But I’m so afraid of not being able to protect her from everything that comes with me. All the sasaengs, the media, the recognition. She’ll never have a normal life because of me. And I hate that I’m the reason for that, ” Jungkook said solemnly.

Kook-ah. You can’t think that way, ” Namjoon said, soothing. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and the faint hum of electricity flowed through them. Namjoon, surprised by the sensation, gripped his shoulder harder out of reflex. “ You have to focus on all the things you can give her because of who you are. You… ” he faltered, “ We will make sure she’s always taken care of.

Jungkook’s eyes started to sting as tears gathered at the edges of his vision. He still felt so inadequate. So unworthy. He wondered if he would ever truly be able to care for Noona. But maybe that was why they had Namjoon. Namjoon was the umbrella, the protector. He would make up for whatever Jungkook lacked. 

Namjoon sighed and turned to address Jin.

If that’s what you want, Hyung, then I guess we’ve got to support you. Because we already know what happens when you try to keep soulmates apart. I think that you should probably talk to her about it. Make sure that she’s ready for this.

I will, ” Jin said, trying to maintain the solemnity of the moment. But his excitement was spilling out from the cracks in his composure.

Go reel her in, Super Tuna, ” Jungkook chuckled as the cars pulled into the underground parking garage.

Jin burst out of the car doors singularly focused, his face glued to his phone, before turning back to ask Namjoon for Bridgette’s number. Namjoon rolled his eyes and followed him into the hotel reciting off the number. Jungkook followed slowly afterwards, catching up with them in the elevator bank.

Do you think Noona will be back in the room? ” Jungkook asked, as they slowly rose up to their floor.

I don’t… ” Namjoon started. But as the elevator slowed to a stop, he understood why his hyung stopped. He could feel her. Stronger than he ever had before. Like somehow, he’d been experiencing their connection through old, tinny speakers, only to have it wash over him in high fidelity surround sound.

Both Jungkook and Namjoon’s faces were turned to the same spot. Towards the direction of their soulmate. Like a siren. Only she wasn’t calling them to their demise. It was the most beautiful life Jungkook could possibly imagine.

 

Your POV

 

“Oof, he’s adding too many flavors. You know Paul is always harping on his flavors,” Sammie scoffs, watching the young man add a handful of cardamom to his stand mixer. 

“Huh?” you say, surfacing from the swirling thoughts in your head. “Oh, yeah… Totally.”

Sammie rolls her eyes at you, knowing that the Great British Bake-Off is doing absolutely fuck all to distract you.

After you had left the recording lot earlier that day, Sammie insisted on taking both you and Bridgette to a cafe to “finalize details” as your new manager. Both you and Bridgette had laughed her off initially, only to be bombarded with a litany of reasons why this was a smart move, the safe move, and that even though you were friends, that didn’t mean we should make bad business decisions.

So after you had come up with the skeleton of a contract on a starbucks napkin, Sammie ushered “her talent” back to the safety of their hotel room. Only to find the keycard no longer worked.

“You’ve been upgraded to the penthouse suite, Miss,” said the beautiful woman at the front desk when you went down to get a replacement key. 

“I don’t understand, who changed it? Has my stuff been moved?” you said, rubbing your forehead with eyes closed.

“Yes, Miss. Everything was inventoried and placed in an equivalent spot in your new room. You’ll have to use your keycard to access your floor in the elevator. Thank you for staying with us,” she said, handing over a very heavy key card. Looking at it, it almost looked like it was made of pure metal!

You’d gone up to the top floor using that keycard, the elevator dropping you off into a small lobby with a handful of doors. You wondered if the other suites up here would be housing the other members or not.

For the rest of the day, Sammie did her best to try to distract both you and Bridgette from the hamster wheels spinning fult tilt in your head. You’d tried to watch some K-dramas, only to get lost so many times, Sammie huffed that you should all just watch something in English. So she’d put on an old season of the Great British Bake-Off, to little success. There was just too much that happened that day to truly wrap your brain around. And all you wanted was to have some time with Jungkook and Namjoon to talk about it all.

“You know, we can just go,” Sammie says, shifting to get off the couch.

“No, please stay! I promise that you being here is helping. I would probably work myself into a panic attack if I was by myself,” you plead.

“Maybe we should get some food. That might help,” says Bridgette, who’s also been suspiciously quiet all day.

“That’s a great idea! Let’s see what they have. Do you think there’s a way we can charge Sejin specifically?” Sammie says with a devilish glint to her eyes. “I’ll order us each a lobster tail, if that’s the case.”

You browse the menu and order room service, getting extra so that the guys would have something to eat after a long day. And just when Sammie starts to grumble about it taking forever, you feel something; A little tug you hadn’t felt in so long. 

Both you and Bridgette’s heads turn towards the elevator in synch, both feeling the approach of your soulmates.

“What are you doing? Quit it! That was freaky!” Sammie says, throwing a pillow at your head. It’s enough to break up those damn butterflies that were stirring in your gut.

“They’re coming,” Bridgette says in awe. “I… I can feel him getting closer.”

“Weird, huh?” you say with a knowing smile. She nods, mouth slightly open.

Your head turns back to the door as it opens, Jin striding through first, followed by Namjoon and then Jungkook. Jin is beaming, almost glowing with happiness as his eyes lock with Bridgette’s. Namjoon and Jungkook’s expressions are less happy, exhaustion tinged with apprehension.

“Welcome back,” Bridgette says, rising from the couch, but keeping a nervous distance.

“Ah, yes. Thank you,” Jin says in timid English.

“Nice to see you again Sammie, Bridgette,” Namjoon says, ever the host.

“Namjoon,” Bridgette says tightly. Seems like she hasn’t forgotten what he said about waiting to bond with Jin. You can’t blame her, either. If your situations were reversed, you’d be pissed too. But then again, if Bridgette had found Jin first, you’d bet good money she wouldn’t have caused as much trouble as you had.

Jungkook walks around his hyungs and over to you, all but collapsing onto your shoulder. You stagger under his sudden weight as he buries his face into your neck and breathes deep.

Missed you, ” he mumbles.

You pat his back, laughing at his child-like behavior. That is, until your eyes meet Namjoon’s. He’s staring at you and Jungkook. His expression, indecipherable.  

Is that hope? Jealousy? 

Both? 

You push against Jungkook, trying to get him off you, uncomfortable with all the words yet unsaid. But he clings that much harder. Namjoon takes four long strides across the room and tugs Jungkook off you by his collar.

Yah! What?! ” Jungkook yells in surprise.

You were crushing her. Couldn’t you see how much she was struggling to hold you up? ” Namjoon says, words short and clipped. His eyes narrow at JK. And Jungkook, taken back by the abrupt shift in behavior, narrows his eyes in return, squaring up to Namjoon.

Spidey senses tingling, you step in. “ It’s ok, Joonie. I’m ok. See?

It takes a second for him to process your words. But finally he nods, cutting his eyes at Jungkook.

“Weeeeell, I think that’s my cue to leave,” Sammie says, rising from the couch.

“What? But what about your room service?” Bridgette says, looking panicked. Interesting. She’s usually so unflappable. 

“As much as I’d love to have a mediocre, overpriced burger, I think I’ll pass. You guys have a lot to talk about. See you tomorrow, ok?” she says as she heads for the door.

“Ok, drive safe,” you say. 

You open the door for her and she hugs you, whispering in you ear, “Just be open and honest. And don’t jump to conclusions, ok? Just talk.”

You squeeze her extra tight, knowing it’s good, solid advice. And as you let her go, you catch some movement out of the corner of your eye. Tae’s head pops out of his room. Sammie turns and when their eyes lock, both give each other different versions of resting bitch face. It would be hilarious if you weren’t so preoccupied with the group of people waiting in your room.

“Noona,” Tae says stiffly in English, “Is your friend staying?”

“I’m headed out,” Sammie says, cutting in. 

Tae stiffens and scrunches his face. “You should not go alone,” he says.

“I’m not the one who is world famous here. I’ll be fine,” Sammie snips, heading for the elevator.

Tae slips out of his room and into the elevator with Sammie, just as the doors close. And you could swear that even though Sammie is scowling at him, Tae is smiling. 

You shake your head and take a deep breath before turning to head back inside. It’s now or never.

Everyone is sitting in the living room, sitting stiff as boards, making awkward small talk. Both Namjoon and Jungkook pop up at your reappearance. 

Sit, ” you say, waving your hands at them.

“I think there’s a lot we need to talk about,” Namjoon says in English, beating you to it.

That is the understatement of the century.

“Yes. But first, maybe we should address the other couple in the room?” you say gesturing to Jin and Bridgette. Both are sitting close, but at a careful distance. The nervous energy pouring off the two of them is palpable. Plus, you want to have your conversation with Namjoon and Jungkook without an audience. And you want to chew all the boys out for being so callous earlier. Two birds, one stone.

“You know, I think this is a conversation I’d like to have in private,” Bridgette says, standing up.

“Wait, what? How?” you say. “You don’t speak Korean. And I don’t think Jin’s English is up to the task for this. No offense, Jin.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of translator apps? Good grief woman, it’s like you live in the 19th century or something,” Bridgette says, waving her phone at you.

“But-” 

“No. We’ll be fine. Watch.”

She types something into her phone and then holds it out as a robotic voice rattles off, “ Let’s go to the bedroom, Jin, ” in very formal Korean.

Jin’s ears turn red, almost as if she’s suggested something a bit untoward, even though the request is innocent enough. He nods and leads her out to the lobby, presumably to one of the doors that lead to his room.

Once they’re gone, a heavy silence fills the room as you, Jungkook, and Namjoon all stare at each other. 

So, what now? ” Jungkook says.

Now, we talk, I guess, ” Namjoon shrugs. He locks eyes on you, waiting for you to speak.

We talk, ” you say, feeling suddenly shy. 

Jungkook lifts his brow, picking up on your nerves. “ You ok, Noona?

Yes, just… It’s a lot.

You feel like you could burst. From nerves, from excitement. From the unknown. All these feelings press down on you as you finally feel the weight of today’s revelation.

You have two soulmates.

You have two soulmates!

Like, how in the hell is that possible?! And how is it possible that it’s not one, but two members of the biggest musical group on the planet are your soulmates? This can’t be normal! There’s got to be rules somewhere that says this isn’t allowed.

But it is.

And the two faces staring back at you are proof.

I don’t know what you’re wanting me to say! It’s not like I planned this! I don’t know how to handle all this! First, you don’t have a soulmark, but somehow Namjoon does and-

Wait, Namjoon has a soulmark?! ” Jungkook interrupts.

Um, yeah, ” Namjoon says. He looks like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

And you knew and didn’t tell me? ” Jungkook says, nostrils flaring. 

I… ” you start, looking at Namjoon, who looks like he’s not touching that with a 20-foot pole. “ I only found out a few days ago! And we fought and it was so hard to communicate with you with your hearing, and I- I chickened out, ok?! I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid of what it meant! Especially after what happened with my soulmark on the plane! ” 

You are grasping for straws. Honest, cowardly straws, but straws all the same. 

It’s not her fault, Jungkook. We’re all in the dark here. We probably should’ve been a lot more honest with each other from the beginning, ” Namjoon says, trying to soothe the other, “ I feel like I knew as soon as I saw Noona that something was different. Something was special about her… But she was yours. And I didn’t want to taint that. ” He is gesturing wildly now, trying to exaggerate his point. “ But here we are. So, let’s not get hung up on the past. Let’s just figure out how to move forward.

You can see RM, the leader, coming out now. Trying to smooth over hurt feelings and move the discourse forward, like a good leader would. It makes you appreciate him in an all new light.

But then, Namjoon’s words slice through you. He felt something from the beginning? About you? Thinking back over every interaction, you can see it, feel his regard, his longing. It becomes painfully clear just how wrapped up he was over you.

And you realize that you had felt something for him too, all along. 

He was the first one you noticed on the plane. He was the comfort you sought when you were sad or concerned. His was the advice you craved. Even if your connection with Namjoon wasn’t a physical one, emotionally, he was the one you connected with first.

You’re right. I felt something too, Joonie. It wasn’t like what I felt with Jungkook, so I dismissed it. But I can see that there was something there, pulling me to you. It was just… different. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, ” you admit.

You can see Jungkook struggle with his feelings, but ultimately, he nods his head and sits back. You can still see his jealousy simmering, though, and you know you're going to have to soothe that hurt later.

I wonder… ” you start, an idea hitting you. “ What did it feel like when you first met Namjoon? I remember hearing somewhere that the whole reason you chose to join Big Hit instead of all those other larger companies was because you respected Namjoon, right? I wonder if that was the beginning of all this? The first signs of our bond?

You wait as Jungkook considers your words, thinking, and revisiting memories in his head.

You know, I did feel a pull towards him. I didn’t understand it at the time. I just felt drawn to him. Like, I knew that following him was my destiny.

Namjoon looks like he’s had the wind knocked out of him. 

I felt the same thing. When we met, I knew that you were meant to be with me. I thought, at the time, that it was because of Bangtan. But now I think it was a side effect of the real bond at work. Because if we had never become famous, we would never have had a reason to cross paths with Noona. Our group's bond and success was a direct result of our soulmate bond trying to unite us… ” Namjoon says, awe sparkling in his eyes.

How can you know that? ” you whisper, feeling the prickling of tears at the corners of your eyes.

I know that soulmate bonds help you make decisions that will ultimately draw you closer to your soulmate. You would never have come to Korea if it weren't for your job, right? We wouldn’t have been on that plane from LA to Seoul if we weren’t with Bangtan. All our decisions culminated in our chance meeting. It was fate, don’t you see? ” Namjoon says with excitement.

You’re too stunned to speak. It feels too unreal. Like you’re living out something from the depths of the wildest fanfictions on AO3. But you can’t come up with one reason why he’s wrong. Not a single one.

Jungkook seems to be struggling with similar thoughts. And instead of trying to find the words, he moves to pull both you and Namjoon from your seats and throws his arms around your necks.

The exhilaration of your soulmate bonds thrum in your veins, pulsing around you in time with your shared heartbeat. And it makes you squeeze them tighter. 

Your men. 

Your bulletproof boys. 

I don’t know if I’ll get used to that, ” Namjoon’s muffled voice comes from Jungkook’s other side. 

That? That is the greatest feeling in the world, hyung. I hope I can feel that forever.

Me too, ” you whisper.

You turn and kiss Jungkook and instinctively turn to give one to Namjoon, only to have nerves pull you up short. 

Kiss Namjoon? You just barely connected with him! Maybe he’ll find that weird. To kiss a girl in front of her boyfriend, or at least who he thought was her boyfriend, but has turned out, in some weird twist of fate, to be some weird throuple situation.

Yeah… Maybe wait on that whole physical affection thing.

You awkwardly decide to give him a peck on the cheek and swear you see his ears turn bright red. 

I don’t want to share though, ” Jungkook grumbles, puffing out his cute bunny cheeks as you pull back. You’re sure if he intended you to hear it, but you definitely did. 

And it’s freaking adorable.

You squeeze Jungkook’s hand, silently trying to reassure him. You know you’re going to have to figure out the right balance between the two men, but you’ll find it eventually.

Well, it’s late. I think we should all head to bed. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow, what with filming and such, ” Namjoon says, pulling out of your grasp.

Wait! ” you say, suddenly remembering something. “ What about Jin and Bridgette. You’re seriously not going to keep them from each other, are you? Because if you think- ” you start, gearing up for a fight.

No! We talked with him and ultimately decided that it should be their decision. And we’ll respect whatever they choose to do. If they want to wait, then we’ll figure that out. And if they want to bond, we’ll figure that out too. Because we’ve all seen how it turns out when you interfere with fate, ” Namjoon says, laughing at your fierceness.

Oh… Good, ” you say, deflating, the anger leaving as quickly as it came.

Down, killer, ” Jungkook growls into your ear, making you laugh too.

Ok, well, I’ll head out. I’m going to go check on Jin and Bridgette. Good night guys, ” Namjoon says. He hesitates before leaning in to give you an awkward one armed side hug. Like, seriously… so awkward.

Ok… Goodnight, ” you say to his back, as he turns and apparently flees from your presence.

When the door closes behind him, you turn to Jungkook. 

You ready to head to bed? I’m beat, ” Jungkook says. He looks dead on his feet now that Namjoon has left.

Sure thing. Let's take a shower first, though. You’ve worked hard today, ” you say, twining your arms around his neck.

A shower? I think I could be persuaded, ” he says, perking up. His voice is low and rumbling. It sends a thrill through you, straight to your core.

Race you there? Ready, set- hey! I didn’t say go yet! ” you yell, chasing after him towards the bathroom.

Notes:

Whoo boy, this was a long one. Pardon the very slap dash editing. I just wanted to get it posted tonight. :) Hope you all enjoyed it!

I wonder what Jin and Bridgette are off doing in his bed room. Guess we'll find out next time. he he...

Thank you again for your continued readership! You kudos and comments mean so much!

Chapter 35: NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER

Chapter Text

Hey guys, I wanted to pop in here and let you know that because of NaNoWriMo, I'm putting this project on hold.

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KIDDING!! I'm kidding!! Actually, it's my goal to finish this story by the end of the month, so buckle up. Updates should be coming more frequently and without warning. Well, I guess they never had any warning before, but, well, you get the idea. I hope you're all doing well and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter! :)

And as penance, here is another picture from LA Permission to Dance Day 3. Behold, My bias and wrecker in one frame.

YoonKook

Chapter 36

Summary:

In which there is so much talking.

Notes:

Anything in bold is meant to be in Korean. If there's dialogue that isn't bold, it's in English and most likely intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The next morning, you wake to find Jungkook missing. You check your phone, seeing text from him.

Kookie: I went to work out this morning. I’ll be back before we have to leave for the day. <3

The emoji tugs a smile out of you. That boy is too cute for his own good.  

You’re typing out your reply when you hear a knock at the door. Since your floor requires keycard access, you know it’s either one of the guys, or the hotel staff. You peek through the peephole to find a very nervous looking Namjoon shifting on the balls of his feet.

You pause, hand on the doorknob, hesitating. It’s the first time you’ve had time alone with him since the discovery of your bond yesterday. And you’re nervous. 

What will he expect? How is this going to work? How is your bond different from Jungkook’s? Or is it even different at all? So many questions and not enough answers. 

But you’re never going to figure them out without asking. So awkward conversation with Namjoon it is, you say, psyching yourself up.

Good morning, ” you say too brightly, throwing the door wide. Namjoon jerks, startled, and almost drops the small tray of food in his hands. 

“Shit!” he curses as he recovers the tray. It teeters precariously on one hand. You raise an eyebrow, knowing what will likely happen if this particular man balances anything with one hand.

I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!

It’s alright. I was lost in thought.

A long pause ensues, the discomfort of uncertainty heavy in the air.

So, what’s this? ” you ask, gesturing to the tray on his hand.

Oh, I wanted to make sure you had breakfast.

You look at the simple offering. Yogurt, granola, fresh fruit and a small bottle of water. Seeing the fare tugs at a memory in the back of your mind; Breakfasts left for you with a note attached. 

You wonder…

Namjoon, are you my breakfast fairy? ” you ask, a shy smile forming on your lips.

What? I just- I mean- I don’t know what you mean.

 He looks everywhere except at you.

You’ve never left me breakfast before? With a note? Hmm? ” you wheedle, your smile widening.

He blushes,

I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” A coy smile blooms into 

Well, thank you, ” you say, your amusement turning to endearment. “ That was very sweet of you. I feel very taken care of.

Yeah, well… I just- I know Kook can be forgetful sometimes, being the youngest and all, ” Namjoon peeks at you finally, gauging your reaction. And upon finding your smiling face, relaxes into a genuine smile of his own.

But then you both just stand there, watching. Waiting for the other to make the first move.

Noona- ” he starts, as you say, “ Joonie, why don’t you come in and we can talk. I feel like this will go much better with the both of us sitting down. ” 

You open the door wider for him and, with shoulders hunched, he comes into the room. You both settle on the couch, placing your breakfast tray on the coffee table and start picking at the fruit.

So… ” Namjoon starts, rubbing his hands along his thighs.

So…

This is… ” he starts, but trails off. His nerves, predictably, make a comeback.

Surprising, I’d say.

Yeah.

You pick up the bottle of water, just have something to do with your hands. Why is this so hard all of a sudden? You’ve never struggled to talk with Joon before. You hardly knew him when you spilled some of your deepest darkest secrets. So why are you hesitating now?

It was because there were no stakes before.  

But with the revelation of your soulmate status with him, things became real and important. Important in a way that could have life altering consequences should you mess this up. And the last thing you want is to mess up his and Jungkook’s lives because you couldn’t handle things well.

I thought I was hiding my feelings pretty well. Guess I was wrong,” Namjoon practically whispers, his hands clasped tightly between his knees.

Well, you hid them from me… Mostly. ” You try, and fail, to keep the smile from your lips.

Namjoon is quiet for a long moment, then says, “ I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if I had been the one to touch you first.

It had never occurred to you. But now he’s brought it up, you wonder what might have happened. Would you have bonded with Namjoon? Or might your bond only work through Jungkook? You’re still not sure.

I wonder, ” you say, nodding slowly, lost in thought.

Another uncomfortable pause ensues, neither of you knowing what to say.

Finally, Namjoon lifts up, seeming to brace himself for what he’s about to say.

I can leave you and Jungkook alone, if that’s what you want. I can just be around you with group stuff if that would make you more comfortable, ” he says, resigned. 

You can see him jumping to conclusions, that big brain of his supplying him with all the wrong answers.

“You know, for someone so smart, you sure can be dumb sometimes, ” you say with a laugh.

Huh? ” he says, looking up at you quickly in confusion.

I never said you made me uncomfortable. And I certainly don’t want you to avoid me and Kook. Honestly, I think that may have been the root of all our problems in the first place.

His brow furrows, not quite convinced.

Namjoon. I’m not sure what it is between us, whether it’s romance or just friendly affection, but I know there’s something, ” you say, infusing sincerity and honesty into your words. “I care for you. A lot! I just haven’t figured out how this works yet.

Oh. Well, I just thought… ” he mumbles.

Well, you thought wrong! I am trying to figure things out, same as you. And it may be a fruitless effort without talking to Jungkook or Dr. Anamchara. But I do want to figure things out. Because I do want you here. I want you in my life. I can’t imagine it without you.

You reach out and grab his hand, feeling the warmth and swirl of energy transfer happening. Namjoon looks down at your hand, clasped around his, wonder playing across his face.

This is so weird, ” he says. “ Do you ever get used to it? ” His eyes are wide, searching yours.

You squeeze his hand.

Yes… and no. Yes, it becomes a little less startling. But it’s never any less wonderful, ” you smile.

You sit, hand in hand for several minutes, Namjoon marveling over the sensations of your connection, taking in the newness of it. 

You look at your hand, tucked into his. It fits so perfectly, but in a completely different way than Jungkook. It’s still mind blowing to think about.

A few moments later, Jungkook walks into the room, sweaty and breathing heavily. He gives only the barest acknowledgement before panting, “ Shower.

He must’ve had some things to work through. No idea what that might be, ” Namjoon chuckles, watching him retreat into the bedroom.

No idea, ” you reply, laughing softly.

Namjoon leans back against the couch, throwing his arms across the back. And the spot created next to him looks too tempting to resist. So you scoot over and fold yourself into the space, resting your head against him. 

He tenses under you at first, barely breathing, not moving an inch. But you stay, letting him slowly relax around you, getting used to your presence. 

Eventually, his arm furtively slides around your shoulders and you sigh with relief. A weight evaporates from your chest with his touch and you melt. You revel in those feelings of warmth and comfort radiating from him, soothing you in a singularly Namjoon way. 

You spend the next few minutes in silence, both taking what you need from the connection. It’s almost as if you can feel the knots unraveling inside of Namjoon. 

That is until a throat clears behind you. Jungkook stands in the doorway to the bedroom, looking for all the world that everything is fine. Except for muscles jumping on jaw.

Uh… Have a good workout? ” Joon squeaks, springing apart from you like you were two teenagers caught necking. 

You stare at Namjoon in confusion. 

What is he thinking? You’re soulmates. You’re going to need to touch, to be able to exchange energies with each other. It just so happens that you chose to get it by snuggling. You weren’t doing anything wrong!

But seeing Jungkook’s face, and barely concealed jealousy there, you wonder if maybe there might be some miscommunication happening.

That’s it. Family meeting! ” you call, rising to your feet. You’re going to nip this tiptoeing-around-each-other thing in the bud.

You want to call everyone in here? I think Yoongi-hyung is still sleeping, ” Jungkook asks, his head cocked to the side, hair flopping over, almost like fluffy bunny ears.

No! I mean soulmate family meeting. We all need to talk. Figure this dynamic out. Because I cannot handle the jealousy, ” you say, cutting eyes at Jungkook. “ Or the acting like we’re doing something wrong, ” you say, turning to nail Namjoon with a stare.

The boys both look at each other, then back at you, surprise mirrored on both their faces. But they dutifully settle next to each other on the couch in front of you.

Ok. I don’t understand all the intricacies of whatever this is, but we need to be open and honest about things. Because all our wagons are hitched together now, whether you like it or not. So we better get to a place of understanding. And quick.

Your tone would make the most battled hardened general proud. 

I think the best way forward is to just lay everything we feel out on the table. No judgment. Just what you feel. Feelings are valid. And once we know what we’re all feeling, we can move forward. Sound good? ” You finish your speech, arms akimbo.

Both men nod, stunned into silence.

Good, ” you nod. “ Here’s what I feel. I feel a deep, physical and romantic connection with you, Jungkook-ah. ” 

Jungkook beams at you. 

But I also feel a strong emotional connection with Namjoon-ah. I think there’s potential for a romantic connection, but right now, it’s mostly emotional .”

You finish speaking low and soft, the words barely above a whisper. You look into the faces of your two soulmates, trying to convey your true emotion to them through your bond, hoping that they can feel your sincere intention. You don’t want to hurt either of them. You just want to be honest.

Noona, ” Jungkook starts. “ I know I could’ve done a better job at protecting you. Protecting the bond between us. And I’m sorry I didn’t take responsibility for that sooner, ” he grumbles. Namjoon adds a, “Damn right,” echoing Jungkook’s sentiment. “ I feel like our bond has been fragile from the beginning. And I don’t want anything coming in and messing with the delicate balance we’ve found.”

Kook-ah, I’d never- ” Namjoon starts.

But! ” Jungkook continues. “ If I’ve got to share, I can’t think of a better person than you, hyung. Just give me time.”

Kook-ah, I would never want to compromise what you have with Noona, ” Namjoon says. You watch his face as he gathers his thoughts. And you can actually see the moment he decides to fall on his own sword.

So I- ” Namjoon says, but you cut him off.

Nope! No noble intentions! I asked how you feel, Namjoon. What is inside you? What do you want? I don’t want to know whatever decision you think you’re making for the greater good. Because that’s bullshit. Tell us the truth. You owe us that as your soulmates.

Namjoon throws his head back, hands raking through his hair, before finally exploding.

I think I love you Noona! Is that what you want? To hear that I’ve loved you almost since the moment I saw you?! That I’ve been trying to lie to myself, telling myself that you’re off limits, that you're not mine? It was killing me inside! I felt like I was dying a death by a thousand cuts!”  

Namjoon’s emotions propel him off the couch to begin pacing the floor. He continues, pouring out his heart, his heightened emotions acting like a truth serum.

But the moment the three of us bonded… It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. It was exactly what I wanted to hear! It didn’t seem real. It didn’t seem possible that my wildest dreams came true. That you could possibly be mine. But I love Jungkook-ah. More than myself. And I don’t want to get in the way of his happiness. 

“In some ways, this is almost worse than before, ” Namjoon scoffs. “ Because at least I could tell myself that you were off limits before. Now? It’s like I get to look at the most amazing song ever written just for me, but I won’t ever get to sing it, ” Namjoon finishes, holding back his tears. 

You shatter. 

You had no idea how much he had been struggling. No idea of the depth of his feelings! And to know the anguish you’ve caused him, breaks you.

You’re off the couch in an instant, Jungkook only half a second behind you, folding Namjoon’s broad shoulders into a hug between you. Rubbing his back, you shush him as his frame shakes with repressed emotion.

Namjoon-hyung, I think you misunderstood me,” Jungkook says softly. “ I’m saying I trust you. I trust Noona.”

But-

No! We were linked long before Noona came into our lives. I wouldn’t be able to do this with anyone but you, hyung.”

Namjoon stares into Jungkook’s earnest face, not wanting to believe what he’s hearing. 

You know, ” you say quietly. “I didn’t necessarily feel a romantic connection with Jungkook at first. There were butterflies. Oh my god, were there butterflies… But ultimately, that side of our relationship took time to form.

Namjoon just stares at you, not comprehending.

“What I’m saying is that I’m open to exploring that possibility with you, Namjoon-ah, ” you say, surprise lighting him from within, “If! And only if everyone agrees to it. We’ve spent so much time messing everything up, Jungkook-ah. I don’t want to waste more time trying to undo the damage we’ve created.

Seriously? ” Namjoon whispers, looking like he’s afraid this might all crumble in an instant.

Seriously, hyung ,” Jungkook says, resting his forehead against Namjoon’s, you pressing your cheek into his shoulder.

Seriously, Namjoon, ” you echo, giving the both of them a squeeze as best you can, your arms struggling to hold them both. “ We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

We really need to talk to Dr. Anamchara again, ” Jungkook says.

Agreed,” Namjoon murmurs. 

You pull back from your men. They’re practically glowing, happiness and contentment radiating from them. And your heart feels so full. So right.

That is until you remember that they’ve got schedules and they’re probably going to be late if they don’t hurry. 

Well, as fun as this has been, you both need to get ready to go soon, right? What’s on the agenda for today? ” you ask.

Namjoon, wiping the moisture from his eyes, says, “ We’ll be going over to Corden’s in about an hour to prep for the recording this afternoon.

Afternoon? I thought the show aired in the evening? ” you say, confused.

It does, but it’s recorded beforehand and then edited to be broadcast later,” Jungkook explains.

Huh. I always assumed it was more or less live, ” you shrug.

Nope. Pre-recorded. So that big stuff gets enough air time, you know? ” Namjoon teases.

Big stuff, huh? Like seven beautiful Korean men?

Like that exactly, ” Jungkook laughs, ducking as Namjoon attempts to kick him.” What?! You’re hot Rap Mon! Admit it! Everyone wants to see you!

A playful scuffle breaks out in front of you, as Namjoon pretends to beat Jungkook up.

You better get going then,” you say, breaking it up and shooing them away.

They grab their bags and head towards the door, but not before Jungkook presses a kiss to your cheek, and Namjoon giving your a hand a squeeze. 

Baby steps , you think, watching his retreating form. You made a lot of progress this morning, but you know there’s still so much to figure out. And that will only come with time and experimenting.

 

The rest of the morning, you take some time to check in with your producers and confirm that all projects are still on hold for the time being, and make several calls, including one to the police to request crime scene photos that the insurance agency will need.

It isn’t until you hear a knock on your door later that you realize it’s suddenly 1:30 and you’re starving. When you look through the peephole on your door and see Bridgette holding two bags of In-and-Out, you silently praise the hamburger gods that your friend remembered you.

“Delivery!” Bridgette says as you open the door.

“Thank god! I got so focused on other things I completely forgot about lunch!”

“Jin mentioned that you weren’t answering Namjoon or Jungkook’s texts, so I thought I should bring over supplies.”

“You’re an absolute angel,” you moan as you open the bag and take a deep breath. It’s been so long since you’ve had a real burger, and the smell of fries and mustard make you want to cry. You hadn’t realized how much you missed this, this little reminder of home.

“You’re absolutely welcome.”

You’re halfway through your burger before you remember that Bridgette and Jin disappeared together last night, and that’s the last you’d heard. Your head snaps up, and you blurt out, “Wait! What happened with Jin last night?!”

“I wondered how long it would take for you to ask,” she says sarcastically, doing nothing to suppress the smile spreading across her face.

“So?!” you shout.

“So, we… talked.”

“About what?!”

This is like pulling teeth.

“Tell me!” you whine, tugging at her arm.

“We talked about a lot of things. We tried to get to know each other. Which was a little difficult given the lack of understanding on both sides, but the translating app helped.”

“Did you guys…”

“Did we bond?”

You nod with bated breath. She just stares at you, grinning, taking her time to compose a response. The suspense is killing you! But you stay silent, barely daring to breathe, waiting for her reply.

Her evil grin splits into a radiant smile as she simply nods.

You scream and launch yourself at her. She falls back as you continue to scream and hug her tight. 

They bonded! They bonded!

You fall into a fit of giggles as you try to right yourselves.

“Oh my god! I’m so happy for you! How did it happen? What did he say? What did you say?! Tell me, tell me, tell me!” you squeal.

“Calm down!” Bridgette says, aiming for sternness, but missing completely. She’s too over the moon to truly pull off her usual, no nonsense stare.

“Well, like I said, we talked. He asked a lot of questions. Almost like he’d written them all down. And when he ran out of questions, he very formally and politely asked if I wanted to initiate our bond.”

“You’re joking,” you deadpan.

“Nope. And then he said he’d understand if I wanted to wait until the band wasn’t active anymore.”

“And then?”

“And then he held out his hand, like for a handshake,” Bridgette snorted.

“So, he said he’d wait. And then basically asked to bond immediately?! Oh my god! JIN! Ugh!” you yell, pummeling a pillow in effigy. He could be so awkward sometimes!

Bridgette laughed. “Yes. But I didn’t take his hand.”

You stopped your pummeling to stare bug eyed at Bridgette. 

“Shut up! And then?!”

“And then, I very calmly got up,” she paused for dramatic effect. “And kissed him on those plush lips of his.”

Your jaw hits the floor, blown away by her boldness, her confidence. The absolute audacity. Guess that’s why they’re soulmates , you think, before letting loose a scream that has Bridgette covering her ears and laughing.

“Oh my god! Stop screaming!” Bridgette laughs, tugging on your arm.

“No! I cannot stop! You straight up kissed World Wide Handsome as your soul bonding touch! I cannot! I cannot believe you!”

“Well believe it!” she says defiantly. “It was amazing, by the way. His lips are so soft, so pillowy. It was like kissing clouds.” Bridgette sighs, as if getting caught in her memory.

“I did not need to know that!” you laugh.

“I mean, if I’m only kissing one set of lips for the rest of my life, I’m glad they’re the most amazing lips on the planet.”

You both collapse into a fit of laughter as the afternoon sun bathes the room with a rich, warm glow. You soak up the moment, aware of how beautiful it is. How simple, yet precious. Here you are, talking of eternities, and laughing like schoolgirls. 

When you finally catch your breath, you ask, “So, what happened next? And what happens now, for that matter! You’re bonded! How are you handling being away from him right now?”

You fire your questions at her as quickly as they bubble to the surface.

“Well, we kissed. Like, a lot. But it was really late. So I spent the night.”

“Yeah, get it, girl,” you say with a knowing grin.

“Not like that, perv. He slept on the couch. Well, I guess I should say, he started the night on the couch…”

Her neck reddened as she trailed off. And you take the moment to waggle your eyebrows at her suggestively, humming your disbelief.

“At some point he must’ve wandered in, because I woke up with a man in my arms,” she snorts.

You absolutely lose it 

It’s just so Jin.

“My best guess is he got up in the middle of the night, got disoriented, and then got back into bed. I mean, I wasn’t going to complain about waking up to the World Wide Handsome as my little spoon.”

“Why? Why does this make so much sense?!” you cry, laughing all the while.

“Search me,” she shrugs.

“So, what did Jin say when he woke up, finding himself as the little spoon?”

“He just blinked at me. And then he sat up, said nothing, and escaped into the bathroom. And when he came back, it was like he was ‘on’ or something,”

Bridgette’s brow furrowed.

“What do you mean ‘on’?” you ask.

“I don’t know. Like he was hosting a TV show or something? There was a lot of loud talking and he kept rocking side to side and gesturing. It reminded me of all the times I’ve seen him MCing something.”

“Wow. He must’ve been really nervous,” you laugh.

“Yeah, I thought so too. So I gave him a hug and told him I’d see him later. I don’t know how much he understood, though. You know, this is so much harder than my kdramas. Where are the subtitles?!”

You smile, appreciating how much harder their journey will likely be because of their communication difficulties. And then thank your lucky stars that you were already fluent in Korean before meeting your soulmate. 

Well, soulmate s

Man, that’s hard to get used to.

“Anyway, it’s easier for us to text because we can run it through the translator app. He’s been texting me throughout the day,” she says, a sweet smile playing on her face. “Speaking of which! Jin told me to tell you to answer your texts! Because your soulmates are driving everyone crazy!”

You pull out your phone and notice all the missed texts you must’ve gotten while you were on the phone this morning. You shoot them a quick text.

 

You: Hey! I’m sorry! I was on the phone all morning and missed your texts!

Kook: Finally! I was getting worried!

Joonie: Thanks for letting us know. Do you need help with that?

You: No. What would you be able to do? You’re stuck there all day, remember? But thanks for offering.

Joonie: Don’t remind me

Kook: I just want to leave already! 

Kook: Or you could come here

Kook: Either is good for me

Joonie: Stop. You know we can’t do either of those.  

Joonie: We gotta get back, but I wanted to ask if we could watch the broadcast together tonight? 

You: Sure thing! Just text me when you’re on your way back, just in case I’m sleeping.  

Joonie: Sounds good. See you later

Kook: Love you

You: Love you too. 

 

“My soulmate and I thank you,” Bridgette says when you look up from your phone. 

You throw a pillow at her.

“Alrighty, well I’m going to drop by the lot to visit Jin. The both of us are feeling pretty zapped. Want to come?”

“No, I’ve got some stuff to take care of with the house today,” you groan. “I’ll catch up with everyone later tonight.”

“Sounds good. See you later!” Bridgette says as she gets up. You walk her to the door and then groan when you remember all the paperwork you’re going to have to file. And it’s not all about the break-in either. It’s the citizenship papers, the work visas, getting a realtor for the house, finding a moving company, closing out your bank accounts… On and on the list seems to stretch. And you just want to cry and hide under the blankets until the guys come back.

But you take a deep, cleansing breath, and then jump back into it. It’s got to get done, and it will be so much easier while you’re stateside.

You’d been working for a few hours when the hotel suite’s phone rang. 

“Hello?” you say, picking up the receiver.

“Hello, this is the front desk calling to let you know that someone left a package for you at the front desk. Would you like us to send it up, or would you like to pick it up yourself?” a pleasant voice says.

It would be a nice break in the monotony, so you let them know you’ll be down to pick it up yourself in a few minutes. It’ll be nice to stretch your legs. Maybe go in search of the pool.

You throw a swimsuit and change of clothes into a large tote bag and leave your phone on the bed. You’re so sick of holding that thing, you could throw it against the wall. In a fit of frustration, you hide it under a pillow. 

This is good. I’ll unplug for a bit and just relax. Maybe there’ll be a hot tub .

When you get to the front desk, a cheery woman hands you a thick envelope. You thank her and head back towards the bank of elevators. These must be the photos of the break in you requested from the police earlier. So you decide to drop those off at your room before going in search of the pool. You’re pretty sure the insurance company will not appreciate blurry, water stained photos.

That was fast. Who knew LAPD was so prompt, you think as you step into the elevator and start flipping through the photos. Just as the doors are closing, an arm slips in, causing the doors to bounce back open. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a man in a hoodie, wearing sunglasses and a mask enter the small box. 

At first it makes you uneasy, but then you remember that this is Los Angeles. It wouldn’t be totally uncommon for a celebrity to want to stay under the radar here. You silently scold yourself for making assumptions.

He reaches across you to press the 17th floor button and the elevator starts to rise. You continue looking through the photos of the devastation at your house. But as you flip through, the photos abruptly change to paparazzi style photos. Photos of you,  taken through bushes, across streets, getting out of cars with the guys. And one from just the other night, of you in your house, looking at the damage of the break in before your friends had arrived. 

Your hands tremble. You’re trying your best not to lose your shit in front of this stranger. It would be your luck to have a panic attack in front of a celebrity, wouldn’t it? 

You stuff the pictures back into the envelope, trying to shove down the rising panic. The doors open at floor 17, but the man isn’t moving.

“This is your floor,” you say in a quavering voice, fear sluicing through you now.

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” a familiar voice says.

Ice forms in your gut. 

That voice…

His voice…

Trey.

You turn to confront him, but don’t even get to see his face before he strikes. A needle sinks into your arm, burning as the contents spread into your veins. You struggle, trying your best to push him away and get to the elevator panel. But he blocks you, lunging as he tries to wrap his arms around you. 

Whatever he’s injected you with spreads through your body like creeping fog. Slowly at first, but as your heart races, the effects multiply, blurring your vision and filling your head full of cotton. 

And while your head seems to be floating away, your body feels like lead as the whole world presses down on you, beckoning you to succumb to the inevitable oblivion. You still fight, even as you sink to the ground. Silently you plead that someone, anyone, will open the elevator doors and find you.

But no such savior arrives.

And when the elevator doors finally do open onto the parking garage, you can barely feel the tears stream down your face. Your whole body is numb, and your vision starts to darken around the edges. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” Trey says, his face looming out of the fog for a brief moment. “I’ve missed you.”

The abyss cradles you like a newborn babe, swaddling your limbs in helplessness. You can’t move, you can’t speak. Your mind is screaming to an audience of none, fighting fruitlessly against the drug, as Trey’s bends down to pick you up.

He lays you down in the back of a car and a razor sharp reality slices through you.

No one is coming. 

No one will save you. 

You are alone.

And then, the world fades to black.

Notes:

Tee hee hee. Did you miss me?

Oh my god, SO MUCH TALKING!!! I couldn't believe how much dialogue there needed to be this chapter, but really, it couldn't be done any other way. SO MUCH DIALOGUE!!!

But we needed to tie up some loose ends before we could get to the action. Heh heh heh *twirls evil author mustache* Whatever will you do?! What nefarious plans does Trey have?! I guess you'll find out soon. Because we have less than 10 chapters left now. My best guess is that it'll be closer to 5-6. But we'll see. Every time I think something will take 1 chapter, it takes 3 and sometimes the things I thought would take several, end up being 1. It makes no sense.

Any ways, I hope you enjoyed this doozy of a cliffhanger. Let me have it in the comments section. I'm ready for it. Hahahaha! But seriously, I love reading your comments. They freaking make my day. Thank you again for reading and I'll see you next chapter! ;)

Chapter 37

Summary:

In which Bangtan makes a decision, and you're reunited with an old acquaintance.

Notes:

Anything in bold is meant to be in Korean. If there's dialogue not in bold, it's in English and (most likely) intentional.

~~~TRIGGER WARNING~~~

There is violence, knives, blood, and a racial slur in this chapter. It's basically everything starting in the Your POV section. I'll put a TL;DR in the comments for any who do not want to read it, but don't want to miss anything.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook POV

 

Jungkook had to admit, it was kind of nice having one of his soulmates with him all day. The normal fatigue and drain that he felt seemed… less, somehow. He appreciated it even more after the third straight runthrough of their Run BTS choreography. Why did that song have to hit so hard?

The dancing was a nice distraction from the rats nest of thought, though. If he was being honest with himself, he was a little jealous of the attention Noona had been giving Namjoon. He knew that she loved him. God, if all the things he’d gone through so far didn’t prove that, he didn’t know what did. 

But the tiniest piece of him didn’t want to share his things. He wanted all of her time and attention. He knew it was selfish and even without another soulmate in the picture, completely unreasonable. But it was still the truth. 

He just had to remind himself that the universe knew what they all needed. They all seemed to balance each other out, filling in the holes that the others couldn’t fill.

Jungkook moved to sit down next to Namjoon in the green room as they all prepped for the interview taping.

Hyung, you’ve been working hard. Make sure you take breaks. The soulmate bond can really mess with your stamina. ” He placed a hand on Namjoon’s warm thigh, squeezing him fondly. The flow of energy he felt startled him, having done this gesture thousands of times over the years, but now having it accompanied by the warmth of energy flowing between them. It wasn’t like what he felt with Noona, but it was there. 

I know, I know, ” Namjoon nodded. “ I’ll make sure not to over do it.

Good. Because I don’t want to worry Noona.

Me neither.

Jungkook nodded. “ Good.

Good.

They sat there, not sure of what to say to one another, the pressure to say something overwhelming. Luckily, a production assistant came over to release the group until it was time to change for the couch portion of the interview. 

You know, I had a crazy thought, ” Namjoon said, looking off into the distance.

What, hyung? ” Jungkook asked.

What would happen if we told everyone?

What do you mean ‘told everyone’, ” Jimin asked, completely unabashed by his eavesdropping.

Namjoon turned to find the rest of the group doing a terrible job of hiding the fact they were hanging on every word they said. Namjoon rolled his eyes and addressed the group at large. “ Would it really be so terrible if we told everyone that we have soulmates?

Jungkook watched the faces of the group fold into contemplation. Some looking doubtful, some seeming to come around to the idea.

We wouldn’t have to share the identities of our soulmates. Just that some of us have bonded, ” Namjoon clarified.

Jungkook thought that in his case, it really didn’t matter. That the world had already seen Noona’s face and knew her name. But the world might not be so accepting of the fact that Namjoon also had the same soulmate. The world has come a long way in accepting all kinds of love, but he didn’t think it was that accepting. 

It’s kind of genius. We could confirm a few things, while still maintaining privacy, ” Hobi said, nodding.

Like anyone would be surprised by your soulmate, hyung, ” Jimin laughed. Which earned him a glare from Yoongi.

Just because we work well together-

You’re like the physical embodiment of the grumpy-sunshine trope, hyung! ” Jungkook laughed, thinking about how completely opposite the two were.

Look who’s been hitting the books! ” Jin teased. “ I guess having an audiobook narrator as a soulmate is starting to rub off on you! Maybe you’ll finally learn something.

Jungkook playfully launched himself at Jin, smacking him on the leg. Jin retaliated, the scuffle turning into good natured rough housing. 

Jungkook didn’t know what it was about Jin, but he just couldn’t help himself. He just knew that if there was mischief to be had, Jin would always be down. And when things got too serious, he could always count on Jin to help break that tension.

Quit it guys, you’ll break something, ” Namjoon sighed. He reached out and grabbed the tail of Jungkook’s suit jacket to pull him back to his seat. Jungkook felt the sharp tug on his back and knew almost instantly what would happen. Sure enough, the sound of ripping fabric silenced the room.

Then, a chorus of raucous laughter burst out, everyone laughing at the destroyed garment. 

Look who’s talking! ” Taehyung cackled. 

An irritated stylist noona scurried over and helped Jungkook out of his jacket, muttering about gods of destruction and how she didn’t get paid enough to deal with this shit. Namjoon’s muttered apologies fell on deaf ears as she stormed away.

Any way! ” Namjoon yelled, calling everyone’s attention back. “ I think it would be good to announce it tonight. What do you guys think?

I think the company would never allow it, ” Taehyung said, resigned.

They don’t want to shatter the illusion that we are ‘available’, ” Yoongi offered.

Well, then we don’t ask for their permission, ” Jin said quietly. 

All eyes turned to Jin, watching him gather his thoughts. “ We don’t need their permission. It’s our lives. It’s our group. I say we get to decide when and how we share that information.

Damn, Jin. Did you swap bodies with your soulmate or something? ” Hobi teased.

Jin fired back. “ No, you ingrate. But she did make me realize that what we’ve allowed to happen to Jungkook is unforgivable. And like hell am I going to let that happen to her!

Jungkook is stunned by the words. At first they burn. Burn with an accusation that he allowed all of this to happen. His shame threatens to bury him. How could he just stand by and let the company do this to his soulmate?

But a hand on his knee halts his spiraling mind. Namjoon’s hand, blooming that sweet whisper of energy between them. Jungkook looks into his eyes and finds compassion there. It’s not your fault , he seems to say.

Jin continues. “ We all sat by and watched as Sejin did everything he could to keep them apart and did nothing. We all could’ve said something and didn’t. So I want to make sure that it can never happen again. I don’t want to give them that power.

Every single member looked humbled. 

Do you really think this will protect them? ” Yoongi asked, thoughtful concern draped across his face. “ If we do this, there’s no going back.

I do. ” Jin said

And so do I, ” Namjoon replied.

Me too, ” Hobi said.

But Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung still don’t look convinced. 

I don’t know, but I’ll let those with soulmates decide. This affects them more right now, ” Jimin said quietly. Taehyung nods in agreement.

Yoongi lets out a long suffering sigh. “ I’m not convinced this is the right thing. The company will be pissed. But if that’s what you and Jungkook want, I’ll support you.

What do you want, Kook? ” Namjoon’s eyes bored into his, urging Jungkook to agree with him.

But it isn’t even a question in Jungkook’s mind what his answer will be. He wants to take back control over his relationship. He never wants to feel like he’s powerless ever again.

Let’s do it, ” he said, firmly. A smile of relief and happiness washed over Namjoon and Jungkook knows he’s made the right choice. 

But then Jungkook remembered something. “ Wait, is this why you asked if Noona would watch the broadcast with us tonight?

Namjoon’s dimples gave him away, as he nodded, smiling.

You got me. I wanted to see her reaction, ” he replied.

Awww, Joonie! You big softie! ” Hobi teased, making the whole room laugh.

Just then, a production assistant poked her head in to give them their final call, breaking up the tête-à-tête. Each of the young men filtered away to their stylists. But as Jungkook stood up, he felt a pull in his gut. A feeling of unsettledness that seethed in his belly. He reached out a hand to steady himself from the sudden onslaught of emotion. And almost as soon as it came, the feeling vanished. 

He wondered if it was some lingering effects from their soul bonding. Could he be feeling Namjoon right now? Glancing over, he saw that Joon sat in the makeup chair, grimacing. 

Ah, he thought. Hyung must be feeling nervous about the announcement. Not so cool afterall, huh, Rap Mon? A small smile tugged at his lips as the stylist started working on his makeup. 

When the stylists were done, he took one last deep breath, rose from the chair, and after checking his completed look one last time, followed the rest of the guys out towards the set.



Your POV

~~~TRIGGER WARNING~~~

Upcoming racial slur, violence, blood, and knives. There's a TL;DR in the comments for anything you might miss.

 

Your head is throbbing. Every heartbeat surging through your skull. Your eyelids too heavy to pry apart. You slowly become aware of a conversation taking place somewhere far off; the words are hushed, but heated.

“We can’t stay here. They. Will. Find. Us,” a man says. Why is his voice so familiar? Your brain, like cogs turning through clouds of cotton, tries to place it. It feels attached to memories that seem so far in the distance.

“Relax. Don’t worry. They busy,” another voice says, stilted. Like English wasn’t his first language. It was maddening how familiar it all was. Like the answers were hovering just outside your grasp.

“When I mentioned this place, I didn’t think we’d stay here for very long. Just regroup and then move somewhere else!” the first man says, his voice raising with irritation.

“No, no. Stay here. Is ok.”

The longer you listened, the more you were able to extend your awareness to the things around you. It smelled like stale popcorn and dust, and you could feel a jagged rip in the vinyl under your cheek as you laid on a bench or sofa of some kind. Springs poked at your sides and legs as you wiggle your fingers and toes. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that your hands and feet are bound tightly in front of you.

Well shit. That just makes things harder.

You consciously slow your breaths, not wanting to give away that you’ve woken up yet, waiting, wanting to get as much information as possible from the men as they talk with their guards down.

“Fine. She should be waking up any minute now anyway. The dose of fentanyl I gave her should be wearing off. And then we can move.”

And finally, your brain clicks back into gear. 

That voice. 

It’s Trey.

And the man with him? 

Sejin .

You’re shocked and surprised at the realization. You hadn’t realized you’d gotten under his skin that badly. Bad enough to want to do you harm, and by extension your soulmates. You would’ve expected that the man that had been with them all since the beginning, would’ve had more sympathy and concern for the group’s well being. 

You decide to open your eyes, just the tiniest bit to try to figure out where you are before trying to figure out next steps. Just gotta stay calm. Don’t lose your head.

Your eyes slide open the smallest sliver possible, only to find Trey face inches from your own.

“Ah, there she is. Sleeping beauty finally stops pretending,” he says with a smug grin on his face.

You jump from the unexpected closeness and scramble to sit up and put distance between you. Trey sneers at you.

“What? Princess too good for the likes of me? Now that she’s riding celebrity dick?”

Your stomach lurches, threatening to revolt; whether from the lingering effects of whatever he injected you with, or your psyche dragging up every horrific image from your marriage, you’re not sure.

“And here I was thinking that you were smarter than this, Y/N. That you would’ve learned your lesson. That you are trash and that no one would want you. So imagine my surprise when I see your face plastered all over the tabloid rags,” Trey sneers. He stands and looks down his nose at you. “Although I suppose it is fitting that garbage would be featured on that filth.”

You struggle, trying to free your hands from your bonds. If you can only get free! Maybe you can run! 

But where would you run to? You have absolutely no idea where you are. You don’t know how long you were unconscious. You have no supplies, not shoes. You could be in the middle of the fucking desert for all you knew! 

Think! Think!!

“I must not have taught you well enough, darling.” Trey inspects his hands, then looks at you through his lashes with a sick sort of smile. “Lucky for you I’m here to give you extra lessons.”

Faster than you could register, Trey whips out his arm and backhands you. 

Lights burst behind your eyes as a shockwave ripples through your body. A sting and burn warms your cheek as pain slowly registers, pushing through your shock. Your hands rise automatically to cradle your face. A warm wetness blooms under your fingers. Pulling your hands away to look at them, your stomach again threatens to empty itself as you find blood smeared across fingertips.

“That’s for thinking you could do better, bitch,” Trey hisses, wiping your blood from the ring on his hand. His wedding band, you realize.

Your eyes start to water, both from the blow and from fear. Trey wasn’t like this. Normally he let his words do the cutting, leaving your mind in tatters, but your body mostly untouched. 

But he looks like a man unhinged. Like he’s barely containing himself. And you finally see that the caged monster you had always seen in his eyes, has finally been unleashed.

Your mouth runs dry, knowing that he’s finally been pushed too far.

His hand connects with your other cheek. “ That was for getting photographed.”

A sob escapes your throat as more stars, more pain explodes in your head. You hear the crack of his hand before you feel the next hit, this one snagging on your lip, shredding it.

Trey squats down to get in your broken, battered face. “And that’s for him.

The salty metallic taste floods your tastebuds, your tongue tentitively investigating the cut on your lip. You couldn’t stop the tears if you wanted to, water falling from your eyes as your chest convulses from the force of suppressing your screams.

Trey’s face contorts in disgust as he watches your grasping attempts to keep yourself from shattering.

“Pathetic whore. Got my ring dirty,” he scoffs and walks away to wash the blood from his hands.

Your mind goes blank, the throbbing ache of your face and disbelief of your current situation sending you deep into the blank recesses of your own mind. It’s almost as if you’re trying to spare yourself from the horror of your circumstances. You teeter between oblivion and terrible memories, remembering the near constant fear you lived under while married to him.

Your gaze skitters around the room, hardly registering your surroundings. Something about this place seems so familiar, but you just can’t figure out why. Is it the smell? The faded posters on the walls? The bar? 

No, not a bar… A concession stand? Your mind catches on that detail and sluggishly grinds back into motion. The concession stand at the drive in theater you and Trey went to almost every weekend during your brief marriage. 

You try to find other details that would confirm your suspicions when you finally see the other man in the room sitting in the shadows. Sejin just looks at you, a stony face hiding any hint of emotion.

Sejin! Help me! ” you whisper, but wince as your lip splits afresh. He only sits and watches you, silent, unmoving.

“Please! This will hurt Jungkook, hurt Bangtan! Please! ” you plead. This finally cracks something in his mask, his cheek twitching.

Bangtan was hurt by you. It’s your fault! When you put your hands on Jungkook, you made him dirty. You did this. You broke them! I’m just removing the problem, ” he says, venom laced in every word.

But keeping us apart hurt Jungkook, can't you see that?! You were hurting him. Hurting us!

No, I wasn’t hurting him! I was helping him! By getting your claws out of him, ” he said, anger rising.

You simply cannot believe him. He cannot possibly think that by separating you that things will turn out well for Jungkook, and now Namjoon too. Keeping soulmates apart, especially in the beginning is disastrous! Didn’t he learn anything from Jungkook’s hearing loss?!

You’re saved from having to reason with a mad man when Trey walks back into the room. His eyes roam over your face, inspecting his handiwork.

“It’s a good start, wife. But I think in order for the lesson to truly take, we’re going to have to employ other teaching methods. You know they say the bible says that a wife that brings her husband shame is a rottenness to his bones.” He pulls out a knife, a scalpel you realize, from his pocket and theatrically inspects it, moving closer to you. “Let’s cut the rot out, shall we?”

Your breathing hitches, as your heart explodes in your chest, the beat like a horse trying to outrun the very wind.

“Please,” you whisper. “Please don’t do this.” 

You try to put force behind your words, but it dies on your lips, fear stealing your very breath. 

“Oh but I have to, darling. You’ve brought me shame! You were seen kissing that ch*nk. No wife of mine is going to cheat on me with a girly boy who wears makeup!” he spits.

“I’m not your wife anymore, Trey. And he’s my soulmate!” you whimper.

Trey lunges for you and grabs your face, anger twisting his features into an ugly snarl. “You will always be mine. Do you hear me?!”

He squeezes your cheeks, his heavy breath hot on your face. He looks you up and down, appraising. Then suddenly you feel the scrape of the scalpel across your arm, scraping up your forearm, tracing up over your shoulder, up and up. Until it pauses just over where your soul mark lies on your neck. He looks at it for a long moment, his brow furrowed, his focus switching between it and your face. A watery whine escapes your throat as you quietly sob, trying not to look at the knife in your peripheral vision, so perfectly poised, that with one wrong move, your life would be over in a matter of seconds.

“I think this should be the first bit to go, don’t you?” he says sweetly, tapping the knife against your neck.

Your weepy moan morphs into a shriek, as you feel the fire of stainless steel biting into your skin. 

Notes:

Whooo boy. That was a lot. What do you think? We got Bangtan making big decisions and going off book and then we got Douchecanoe going off the rails. And even though it was a shorter chapter, a lot just happened! Keep in mind, that things may or may not be simultaneous in this narrative. Things may be happening at a slightly different time. We'll pick back up with the boys in the next chapter for the big reveal and subsequent shit hitting fan.

And as always, thank you for reading! I hope you're enjoying this wild ride so far!! Let me know in the comments who should punch out Douchecanoe's lights when they find them! Lol! See you soon!

Chapter 38

Summary:

In which the guys drop a bomb, find someone missing, and freak out.

Notes:

Anything in bold is meant to be in Korean. If there's any dialogue not bolded, it's supposed to be in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Namjoon POV

 

Ok. Deep breaths. You got this. Everything is gonna be ok.

The words looped in Namjoon’s head. Almost like if he said it enough times, it would make it true. He wasn’t delusional to think there would be no consequences, no fall out from their decision to come forward about their soulmate status. A small subsection of ARMY would be devastated. Would most likely hurl vitriol at him and the others. But he had faith that the true fans would be happy for him. That they would cry tears of joy, knowing that their favorites had found happiness.

First, though, he had to make it through this interview. 

Namjoon bounced on his toes, trying to shake off his nervous energy as they waited in the wings to make their entrance. Jungkook caught his eye, sending him a nervous smile and thumbs up. 

Namjoon knew the kid had to be just as nervous as he was, if not more. He had just as much to lose, especially since their soulmate’s face was known to the world at this point.

Thinking about the hate Noona had faced after her and Jungkook’s very passionate kiss in the airport made Namjoon even more sure that this had to be the right way forward. They’d been able to keep all their previous relationships quiet, but how would they be able to hide their marks forever? Especially if someone’s ended up in a very visible place. And although his own mark was hidden under his clothes, he knew if it were more visible he’d want to wear it with pride. To tell the world that he had found his true counterpart.

Thoughts of his mark made Namjoon scan Jungkook up and down for any visible marking. Noona’s mark was on her neck, usually hidden under a scarf, and his own on his torso. He wondered where Jungkook’s mark would show up, if it hadn’t already. Namjoon made a mental note to ask Jungkook about it later. 

The crowd roared as the house band played them on, the curtains parting and flooding the darkness with blinding lights. 

Well, here goes nothing.

 

Jungkook POV

 

“Welcome back to the stage, the award winning kpop sensation, BTS!” James Corden shouted as Jungkook came through the curtain. He smiled and waved, bowing to everyone who’s eyes he caught. He loved ARMY so much, he always wanted to show his love and appreciation at every opportunity possible.

The guys all settled onto the couch and chairs arranged next to the desk as the roar of the crowd dimmed, the air heavy with silent anticipation.

“Welcome back guys! It’s been so long!” James said, smiling.

“Thank you for having us,” Namjoon said, then turning to the camera, holding up his fingers in the traditional greeting, “Dul, set. Bang! Tan! Hello! We are- BTS!”

Jungkook’s hand popped up, a very relaxed finger gun pointed downwards, and bowed, his muscle memory taking over. How many times had he done this gesture over the years? Surely it was in the hundreds by now.

“It feels like it’s been forever since you’ve been here!” James said, playing to the camera. The audience tittered, knowing it had only been a handful of months since they’d been there promoting their concerts in LA. 

“So what’s new with you guys?!” James added after the audience quieted.

“Well, funny you should ask that,” Namjoon started. His eyes darted over to Jungkook, silently communicating. 

Jungkook was glad. No beating around the bush. They were telling the world about their soulmates and he wouldn’t have to keep Noona a secret any more.

“We actually have something we’d like to say, if that’s alright?” Namjoon turned to face the camera full on. “I don’t think this will be a complete surprise, but we wanted to inform everyone that several of the members of the group have found their soulmates.”

Everyone gasped, even James. And before the host could ask a followup question, Jungkook spoke. He’d worked hard on memorizing his lines for this, this afternoon.

“Yes. I have found my soulmate.” Jungkook had to catch himself before he said soulmates, plural. “As you may have guessed, we had been accidentally separated on our way to Tokyo, but we reunited in the airport.”

“So wait, those pictures of you kissing that girl in the airport?!” James gasped, recovering his wits but clearly still shocked.

“My soulmate, yes,” Jungkook smiled. “We ask for ARMY’s support and respect as we welcome her into our family.”

The expression on James’ face was almost comical. Eyes bulging, jaw hanging slack, spluttering, James struggled to salvage the interview. This was clearly not what James had been expecting. Jungkook had to smother a pleased smile.

“Wow! That is incredible! Congratulations, Jungkook! What’s her name? Where’s she from? Is she a fan?” James peppered Jungkook with questions, but Jungkook just shook his head.

“Sorry, we’re not going to be revealing her personal information right now,” Namjoon cut in, to a chorus of disappointed awws. Jungkook gave the audience an apologetic smile.

“But wait, you said several members! Who else has bonded?!” James blustered, barely able to keep in his seat, looking at each of the members now, as if he would find their soul marks on their foreheads.

“So far, the members who have bonded are Jungkook, Suga, JHope, Jin, and myself,” Namejoon said, smiling.

The audience became louder and louder with each name, and by the time Namjoon indicated himself, they absolutely lost it, cheering and clapping. Jungkook could see several ARMIES who were crying and hoped they were tears of joy.

Jin spoke up, now, silencing the crowd once again, saying his lines. “We are so happy to have found our soulmates. We ask for your support and respect as we welcome the newest members of our family.”

The crowd roared back into a frenzy, whooping and hollering. The house band broke into the wedding chorus which broke up the pandemonium, making the room burst into laughter.

“So, when do we get to meet them?!” James said once the crowd had finally quieted after a long applause break. 

Of course James would ask this, Jungkook thought. We just handed him the exclusive of the year. There’s no way he won’t try to wheedle every ounce of information out of them.

“No, other than Jungkook’s soulmate, who was unfortunately prematurely revealed to the public, we have decided to keep our soulmate’s identities a secret in order to protect them. We hope you understand,” Namjoon said smoothly, handling the curveball with practiced ease. 

“Well, that was quiet the bomb you just dropped fellas!” James said, shaking his army bomb, “I am so happy for you guys, really. We’re going to head to a quick commercial break, but we’ll be back after this with more B-T-S!” James yelled as the house band started playing Yet to Come.

Jungkook felt a weight lift off his chest as he heard the refrain of, “The best is yet to come”. He knew that honestly, deep in his bones, that the best moments really were yet to come. 

And he couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel to share them with Noona.

 

Namjoon POV

 

Namjoon was buzzing the whole way back to the hotel. All he wanted to do was wrap Noona in his arms and watch her face as he told her what they’d done. 

His phone buzzed and he rushed to look, hoping Noona had answered one of his many texts. He’d texted her several times, but there was still no response. He figured she must be sleeping and had probably turned her notifications off. 

Hyung, has Noona answered any of your texts? ” Jungkook asked him as they piled into the elevator.

No, it was just our new manager checking in, ” Namjoon sighed. The shit hadn’t quite hit the fan yet since the episode would be airing any minute now. He did not look forward to the endless phone calls he’d be fielding soon. “ I’m sure she’s just sleeping. It’s been a fucking long couple of days. She’s gotta be exhausted! Let her sleep. ” 

Maybe he would kiss her awake, just like all those princesses from the fairy tales. He, the Prince Charming, come to whisk her away and live happily ever after. The image made him grin into his phone.

Jungkook grumbled, but nodded his head, brow furrowed and eyes glued to his screen. Something about the way Jungkook was gripping his phone made the hairs rise on the back of his neck. Or was it something else?

A twist of unease settled into his gut as he bid the rest of the guys good night and he and Jungkook headed into Noona’s room. 

Noona?! ” Jungkook’s voice came out high and strangled, betraying his unease. Namjoon could feel the world tilting on its axis as he slowly looked around the room. It was dark and quiet.

Too quiet.

Hyung, she’s not here. I can’t feel her! ” Jungkook cried, coming out of the bedroom, barely contained panic starting to leak through. 

I’ll call her. ” 

She must’ve gone to the pool, or maybe the gym? Surely she wouldn’t have left the hotel without letting them know, especially after everything that had happened over the last few days.  

Namjoon pressed Noona’s number and lifted the phone to his ear. He waited, listening to the ring indicating the call had connected. A second later, he heard the familiar DNA whistle, faint, but muffled.

Jungkook sprinted off in search of the noise and came back with Noona’s phone in hand.

It was under her pillow, ” he whined frantically. He started pacing back and forth, hands knotted in his hair.

Why would she leave it there?

“I don’t know, hyung. But… ” Jungkook hesitated.

But what? ” Namjoon wanted confirmation that the dark, gnawing thing that had settled in his chest wasn’t just his imagination.

I think Noona may be in trouble.

The abject fear in Jungkook’s eyes was enough to shatter Namjoon’s composure. He closed the distance between them, scooping his soulmate into his arms.  All he wanted in this moment was to take this from him. He never wanted Jungkook to hurt, ever

The idea of any of his soulmates, romantic or otherwise, feeling this way was abhorrent to Namjoon. If he spent the rest of his life taking away all of the fear and sadness of his soulmates, he would consider it a life well lived.

You feel it, right hyung? The fear? The… the terror? ” Jungkook pulled back, looking Namjoon in the eyes. His lip wobbled as tears gathered in his eyes.

And as soon as Kook said it, he knew what he was feeling was his soulmate's fear bleeding into him. Had felt it as soon as they’d gotten in the elevator. And…

That moment of panic he’d felt earlier after they’d decided to tell the world about their soulmates… Namjoon had just assumed the brief feeling had been because they’d just made such a huge decision without telling the company first. He thought it was because he was slightly afraid of what Bang PDnim would say when he found out.

But what if that panic wasn’t his. What if it had been his soulmate connecting with him?

The thought of her being in fear sent Namjoon into a blind panic. What had happened to make her feel that way? Did the sasaengs find her? Is she safe?!

So many ideas roiled in his head that even with his impressive intellect, he couldn’t organize his thoughts into coherency.

Hyung! ” Jungkook’s raised voice broke his stupor, waiting for his response.

Yes. I felt it too.

We’ve got to find her. How do we find her?! Her phone is here! ” Jungkook said, his fear shifting to anger, as he yelled at the phone in his hand.

Jungkook, calm down. We have to think rationally. ” 

Namjoon was trying his best to keep his shit from falling apart. If he fell apart, there was no way he could help Noona. He had to keep his head.

Calm down?! Our soulmate is missing , and you want me to CALM DOWN?! ” Jungkook shouted, red hot anger lashing out at Namjoon.

Please, stop shouting. I’ve got to think! ” Namjoon snapped.

A knock sounded at the door, making both their heads snap towards the door. Namjoon rushed to open it hoping beyond all belief to find Noona on the other side, only to find a concerned Jimin at the door.

Is everything ok, hyung? I heard shouting, ” Jimin’s timid voice said. He looked between Namjoon and Jungkook, clearly worried that they were having a row.

We’re fi-

We are NOT fine! Noona is missing! ” Jungkook said, cutting Namjoon off.

Missing? Are you sure? ” Jimin said, looking between them.

No, we’re not sure. We haven’t tried to look for her yet. Let’s not jump to conclusions yet, Kook, ” Namjoon said, a little softer, trying to console his soulmate. “ Maybe she’s in the gym, or swimming. Let’s look first and then freak out, ok?

We can help. Let me go and get the others, ” Jimin said, heading out to knock on the others’ doors. 

In a matter of seconds, all of Bangtan was gathered by the elevators.

Ok coach, where do you want us? ” Tae said, saluting Namjoon. Jimin elbowed him in the ribs, muttering that now was not the time for jokes.

Tae and Jimin, you head to the pool and ask around there. Hobi, you head to the spa. Jungkook, the gym. Jin, the bar and restaurant, ” Namjoon said, doling out orders. “Yoongi, you come with me and get HYBE on the phone. Ask if any of the body guards anywhere has seen anything. I’ll go down to the front desk to ask if they’ve seen her. Everyone keep your phones on you and update us when you’ve got news.

Namjoon hated that he was having to lead this. It was the very last thing he wanted. As if the weight of leading this evening’s interview wasn’t enough. All he wanted was to curl into Noona and hold her tight until his stress eased. But now, the mantle of leader doubled down on him, nearly crippling with its weight. 

As the elevator made its agonizingly slow descent, he felt a hand slip into his, squeezing. Jungkook’s doe eyes found Namjoon’s as Jungkook gave him another squeeze. Namjoon searched Jungkook, trying to discern his intentions. But he felt the now familiar warmth of his soulmate’s energy. The reassuring sensation flooded him, and he felt his shoulder sag a little. It was incredible just how settling that small gesture was.

We’ll find her, ” Jungkook whispered. “ And I’m sorry I yelled at you .”

It’s alright. You’re worried about Noona. And I know we’ll find her. Is it sad that I really hope she’s just gone awol and went in search of a convenience store without her guards? ” Namjoon winced.

Jungkook was saved from having to answer as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. The guys filed out of the elevator and towards their assigned locations, but Jungkook lingered with Namjoon, still holding his hand, and locked eyes with him.

I won’t stop until we find her. She’s my universe.

Our universe, ” Namjoon said, a small smile pulling at his lips.

Ours, ” Jungkook affirmed, smiling as a small flicker of hope bloomed in his eyes.

Jungkook gave Namjoon’s hand one last squeeze before loping off towards the gym.

Notes:

Ahhh!!! The bomb has been dropped! And now the shit hits the fan!

We got some amazingly soft Namkook moments here (we love to see it!) and now the boys are off to find Noona!!

Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual. I couldn't find a good place to cut it off around the 4-6k word mark like I usually do, so I made it shorter. BUT that means I've got almost the entire next chapter written already so be on the lookout for that this week. 😘 A little birthday present from me to you (it's my birthday this week!) and maybe a little distraction from Jin's enlistment. I hope the k-army respects his privacy and stays the FUCK away from the enlistment center.

So! I'm taking a vote on who's going to deliver Douchecanoe's ass whoppin' next chapter! Comment the following emoji's to cast your vote!

🐰 - Jungkook
🐨 - Namjoon
☠️ - Both

Thank you, always, for reading! It makes me feel so happy that I can share this story with you! And I look forward to seeing your votes!!

Chapter 39

Summary:

Chapter 37: Part A

In which the guys run around

Notes:

Merry Christmas!! Be on the lookout for the second half of the chapter later today!!

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bold is in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook POV

 

Something inside him shattered in that elevator.

It was the small, ugly part of himself that jealously wanted to keep Noona for himself. He saw how much Namjoon cared for Noona, had felt that love through their bond. And in that moment, Jungkook knew that it didn’t matter if he had to share Noona. They both loved her with every ounce of their souls. And anything less than that would never be enough. 

He felt his muscles bunching and burning as he ran as fast as he possibly could towards the gym. He desperately hoped she would be there, running away her worries on a treadmill, instead of the alternative that his mind wasn’t ready to accept. 

The hotel had half of an entire floor devoted to their gym. It was a five star place, afterall. Weightlifting rooms, pilates studios, a gallery of cardio equipment, it took several minutes for Jungkook to check every corner, every nook and cranny. 

But she wasn't there.

He ran over to a desk where a locker room attendant sat.

“I’m looking for my soulmate!” Jungkook panted, cursing that his English wasn’t better.

The female attendant looked up from her towel folding and gaped, dropping the towel in her hands.

“You think I’m-”

“No, no! Uh… The girl I kissed? In airport?” Jungkook said. He was praying that she was a fan and might recognize the pictures of Noona and him in Tokyo.

She shook her head, clearly not understanding. Jungkook wanted to pull out his hair in frustration.

That is until he remembered the dozens and dozens of photos they’d taken together on Jeju. He mentally smacked his forehead at his stupidity and groaned. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of her. 

“Have you seen her?” he asked, bouncing on his toes now.

“Oh. Um, no. No one’s been here this evening. Sorry.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook groaned, as he ran back towards the front desk, leaving the obviously flustered woman behind.  (a/n: Can you blame her? If a panting, windswept Jungkook ran up to you and said he was looking for his soulmate, you’d probably swoon too.)



Namjoon POV

 

“You’ve seen her?!” Namjoon practically shouted. 

“Yes. She came down earlier for a package that was left for her,” the lady at the front desk said happily.

“And where did she go after that?” Namjoon’s heart was racing.

“She headed in the direction of the elevators.”

“Wait, what package?” Yoongi said, holding the phone away from his ear temporarily. 

“Oh, um…” She looked uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“All packages are supposed to be vetted first. Why did you call her down to get it?” Namjoon said suspiciously.

“Well, it was that one gentleman who was with you when you checked in. I thought it would be ok if it came from him.”

“What gentleman,” Yoongi probed.

“You know, the older gentleman with your party? He seemed to be the one coordinating your stay here. I assumed he was a manager or something.”

A rock settled into Namjoon’s stomach. Yoongi held his phone out to the employee.

“Was this him?” he asked, stonily, showing her a picture of Sejin.

“Yes! That’s him!” she said, brightening. But seeing the hard expressions on both Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s face, she paled. “Is he not with your group?”

“He was terminated yesterday,” Namjoon said calmly. There was no way this woman would have known. He tried to rein in his anger. “Given the… turbulent nature of his termination, I am concerned that he’s potentially harmed our friend. Is there any way we can watch the security footage from when she came and retrieved the package?”

“Absolutely! I will have the head of security come right now!” she said, fumbling for the phone. She obviously knew she’d fucked up.

Yoongi tugged on Namjoon’s sleeve, gesturing towards the front entrance to the hotel where, to his surprise, Noona’s friends strode through the door, arms laden with bags. Bridgette caught Namjoon’s eye and started to head over. Seriously, could this day get any more complicated?

“Well hello there! Fancy meeting you here!” Bridgette chirped, almost giddy. Namjoon hated to pop that bubble for her. Best let Jin handle that one.

“Hey Bridgette, Sammie. Do you want me to call Jin for you?”

“No need. I just texted him. He said he’d head my way.”

They stood in awkward silence while he and Yoongi waited for the security team to take them to review the security footage and the girls waited for Jin.

“Oh! Hey, have you seen Y/N lately? She’s not answering our texts,” Sammie said as Jin jogged over from the direction of the lobby bar.

“I’ve got this, Namjoon-ah,” Jin said, folding his soulmate into his arms like he never wanted to let go. Namjoon nodded as the head of security hurried over to escort them away. 

Namjoon’s heart gave a pang as he watched the two, completely oblivious to those around them. He hoped they’d find Noona soon. 

The thought of never getting to hold her, to kiss her ever again… 

He couldn’t bear it.

 

Jungkook POV

 

JK: She’s not at the gym

Tae: No one’s seen her at the pool

Hobi: The spa was closed, so little chance of her being in there. 

Jin: She’s not at the restaurant or bar. And none of the servers or bartenders saw her come in either

Namjoon: Thanks for the updates. I’m looking through the footage now

JK: Where is she???

Jimin: We’ll find her, Kook-ah. Don’t worry

JK: Easy for you to say

Jin: Noona’s friends just showed up. I need backup for when I tell them. Can you guys meet us in the lobby?

Tae: On our way to save you hyung!

Hobi: Oooh, someone’s eager!

Yoongi: Admit it. You just want to go and rile up Sammie, Tae.

Tae: Guilty. But who can blame me? She so cute when she’s scowling at me

Jimin:  Unbelievable

Namjoon: Can you please shut up! This is incredibly distracting

Jin: Maybe you should wait in your room, Taehyung…

Tae: Toooooo laaaaaate!

Namjoon: Stop texting the group thread!

JK: Hyung, just turn your ringer off

Hobi: I swear sometimes he just doesn’t use that big brain of his

Namjoon: …….

 

Jungkook smirked as the guys continued to rag on Namjoon. He knew they were only doing it to try to distract him, that it was all done out of love. But he did have a little sympathy for Namjoon-hyung. It’s hard to think straight when half your heart is missing.

Jungkook met up with everyone in the lobby, to find Bridgette holding Sammie back.

“Just… let… me… kick him!” Sammie said, struggling against Bridgette’s arms.

“No, Sammie. You can’t afford the assault charge Big Hit will slap you with.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes at Tae. He was almost certain that whatever Tae said, he probably deserved Sammie’s rage. Tae simply shrugged, failing to smother his grin. 

Has anyone heard back from Namjoon and Yoongi-hyungs? ” Jungkook asked once Sammie was able to shrug off her friend. She stormed off to sit on a low couch nearby, sulking.

Not yet. I’m sure he’ll tell us as soon as he knows something, ” Hobi said.

Do they know yet? ” Jungkook asked, indicating the girls.

Yes and they’re not happy, ” Jimin said softly.

Jungkook chewed on his lip ring, his guilt building. But before he could form an apology in English in his head, Namjoon came running over. 

Ok, so we know who took her, ” Namjoon said.

Took her?! ” Hobi said, reacting wildly.

Yeah. It was this man. Does he look familiar to anyone? Have you seen him around lately?

It was the twin gasps from Sammie and Bridgette that grabbed everyone’s attention.

“Trey…” Bridgette whispered.

“That fucker,” Sammie muttered. 

Jungkook bristled. Trey? Trey, as in her abusive ex-husband, Trey? All Jungkook could see was red. He wanted to tear that man limb from limb.

“From what we could piece together, it looks like Trey followed her into the elevator and injected her with something, then carried her out to a waiting car in the parking garage. We couldn’t make out the driver,” Namjoon said, speeding through the details.

“Well, that makes sense,” Sammie muttered.

“What?” Jungkook asked, his face whipping up to face her.

“Well, Trey is a nurse at the hospital. It’s not impossible to get his hands on drugs and a needle.”

“Ok, so do either of you have any idea on where he might take her? We’re certain they can’t have gone too far, since the traffic in LA is nuts,” Namjoon asks.

“Who would’ve thought we’d be thankful for the horrendous traffic here?” Bridgette scoffs. Sammie’s brow furrowed as she thought. 

Jungkook reviewed every conversation they’d ever had. Every single thing she’d ever told him about her past. But there was nothing. No details about her life before their bonding that could help him figure out where she might be. He realized how very little he actually knew about her. What’s her favorite color? Her favorite food? Her favorite restaurant? How could he be a good soulmate if he didn’t know those things? He felt a lump grow in his throat as his misery grew.

“What about Point Fermin Park beach? They used to go there all the time? You know how much she loved to visit the Korean friendship bell!” Sammie blurted after a few minute’s thought.

“I don’t know. Trey hated that place, even if they did go there a lot. I wonder… You know that drive in movie theater they went to almost every damn weekend shut down a few years ago. It would be a great place to hide,” Bridgette offered.

“I don’t think so. How would they get into the building to hide? Otherwise it’s a giant open lot. Someone would see them. The beach has lots of little outbuildings he could hide in!” Sammie argued.

Namjoon looked between the two women and then made a decision.

“We’re splitting up. Some will go to the beach and look, some will go to the drive-in. We will go look before calling the police.”

“I’ll go to the beach!” Sammie said, stepping forward, volunteering.

“And I’ll take you to the drive-in,” Bridgette said firmly. She rested her back on Jin’s front and added, “ As long as Jin comes with me.”

“Of course,” Jin crooned in his accented English. Bridgette blushes at the nickname.

“I’ll go to the beach,” Tae volunteered, completely serious. Sammie looked him up and down before scoffing. “I just want to help, Sammie-ssi.”

“Well, help Bridgette instead!” Sammie huffed.

If Jungkook had to pick one he thought more likely, it would be the theater. 

“I’ll go with Jin and Bridgette,” he said. 

“Me too. I think it’s more likely. But we can’t rule out the beach. Tae, Jimin, and Hobi, you head to the beach with Sammie. Jungkook, Jin, Bridgette and I will head to the theater.” Everyone nodded in affirmation. “ Yoongi, I need you here to coordinate with the staff members and man the phone with Big Hit. Keep them updated and make arrangements for us to get the hell out of here. I don’t think our new manager is quite up to the task yet, ” he added, switching back to Korean.

On it, ” Yoongi said, pulling his phone out again to start making more phone calls.

Keep your phones on and send updates as often as possible, ” Namjoon said as the group started towards the company cars waiting in the parking garage. 

Jungkook couldn’t help sprinting ahead of the others towards the waiting vehicles. The sooner he could get to his soulmate, the better. 

He just hoped he wasn’t too late.

Notes:

Well, we had some set up. I couldn't get the whole thing edited before bed, so be on the lookout for the other half REAL SOON!

As always, thank you for reading! And Merry Christmas!!

Chapter 40

Summary:

Chapter 37: Part B

In which the cavalry arrives.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bold is in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



The knife slices into you, searing pain flashing across your skin. Trey holds you down, his hand knotted in your hair, your head wrenched to the side as he slowly cuts through the thin skin on your neck. The pain is everywhere, you can’t escape it. You squirm as he slowly cuts, tears running down your face, doing everything you can to keep from screaming out, lest you drive the knife deeper on accident.

“Hold still you dumb cunt! Unless you actually want to die!” Trey shouts, pulling the knife away momentarily. He wipes away the blood spilling freely from the incision to get a better idea of where to make his next cut.

You know he can do it. He’d been working as a surgical assistant in the hospital for years. He’d fancied himself a surgeon, even though he’d never gotten accepted into medical school and had to settle for an assistant’s position.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get this nasty thing off your neck in a jiff,” Trey sneers. 

You brace for the pain, eyes closed, waiting for that steel cold fire to bite into your neck, but it doesn’t come. You open your eyes to find Trey’s face so close to yours, too close.

“I want to see your eyes while I do this baby.”

His tone, the look in his eyes, the pain throbbing on your neck… It’s too much... You lose the contents of your stomach onto Trey’s shirt. 

He rears back in disgust.

“What the fuck?! Stupid bitch!” he shouts.

A pool of sick swirls with the droplets of crimson already decorating the dirty black and white checkered linoleum. Streams of ruby flow down your neck and into your shirt. It’s hot and sticky, making your stomach threaten to revolt a second time.

You clasp a hand to your neck to staunch the blood flow as Trey tries to clean up. He grabs some old surgical towels from a duffle bag to wipe himself off, muttering about dumb women. 

Your eyes wander as you grasp at any distraction, breathing through your mouth so the stench of vomit doesn’t make you wretch again. 

You’d do practically anything, give almost anything, for someone to save you. But the idea of your soulmates coming to your rescue seems so far from reality. How would they know where you were? How could they find you? You don’t have your phone, so they couldn’t even track you. How could anyone find you?! You were taken, quietly, quickly. Gone before you could leave any kind of clues.

And although you’ve had your differences and your fair share of hard feelings towards one another, you don’t think Sejin is completely beyond reason. Maybe… just maybe… You could convince him to help you.

What other options do I have?

You send a silent prayer into the universe, pleading to your soulmates to come find you, then turn your eyes toward Sejin, pale faced and wide eyed.

“Please,” you mouth, silently pleading. “ Please!

He hesitates, torn. You lock eyes with him, pouring every ounce of desperation into him.

Please, please… please…

Sejin takes half a step towards you, only to halt as he notices Trey heading back toward you. 

Fear gripping you, you blubber.

“Wait! Please, no. No! Wait! Please!! No!!

“Just shut up and stay still,” Trey growls as he climbs on top of you, straddling your hips and tilting your head back against the couch.

“Wait.” Sejin’s hesitant voice startles you. “Don’t hurt.”

You could’ve kissed Sejin right then.

“I’m sorry, what? I thought you were happy to have her gone?” Trey spits, turning on Sejin.

“You kill her maybe. Don’t want. Gone, yes. Dead, no.”

Trey fires back at Sejin and the two argue, leaving you completely unattended. Your mind scrambles. Is this your moment to try to escape?  

You try to remember every single youtube video, tiktok, instagram reel, anything to help you remember how to break free from the zip ties holding your wrists and ankles together. You remember that they have to be as tight as you can stand in order for any of it to work. 

Gripping the end of the tie in your teeth, you ratchet the thing down on your wrists, making your eyes water with the pressure. You lift your arms above your head and slam them down onto your hips. And mercifully, they break free on the first go. 

But your movement catches Trey’s eye. He stops arguing with Sejin and rushes over to you. But with your hands free, you claw and scrape and hit. Flailing with the desperate energy of a cornered beast. 

You will not be caged by this man again!

Trey hisses as you catch his face, dragging nails over his eye and down his cheek. Streaks of red blossom on his skin as he rears back, hollering obscenities and clasping his face.

“You scratched my fucking eye, you dumb cunt! You’re going to pay for that!”

Trey lunges for you, but he never makes it. A fist collides with his temple, sending him careening sideways away from you. 

Towering above you, you see Namjoon shaking out his fist. He looks at you.

“Are you alright?” His voice is oddly calm. 

You nod yes. 

“Good. I’ll be right back.”

Namjoon lunges for Trey as he recovers, not letting the man have a moment’s breath before fists rain down on him. Left, right, left, right… Never ceasing. Continually laying into Trey. All the man can do is cower beneath useless hands as Namjoon grunts with the effort, his face furrowed with singular deadly focus. 

A noise catches your attention and you look across the room to see Jungkook’s back. He stalks towards the corner, shoulders hunched with a feline’s predatory grace. You look to see what, or who, his prey is. 

It’s a white-faced Sejin, his hands out in supplication, desperation oozing out of his lips as he blubbers in fear. Jungkook stills, his voice low as he speaks to the manager. 

What are you doing here, Sejin? ” You don’t miss his lack of jondaemal. 

Jungkook, please… ” he whimpers.

His sniveling face snaps back as Jungkook launches a jab at him, faster than you can see. And then he’s squaring up, laying into the manager, putting all those hours of work in the boxing gym to use.

This is for all the bullshit you put me through! You’ve been with us since the beginning! I thought you were my friend ! ” Jungkook shouts. Sejin just cries, taking the next two punches that Jungkook releases.

But the manager has no fight in him. You see the distaste of hitting a defeated man curl Jungkook’s lip. So, with one final punch, he sends Sejin reeling into the corner, where he cowers and cries. Jungkook’s eyes scan for yours, and when they find you, you could swear you hear angel choruses.

He rushes over to you and wraps his arms around you.

Are you ok? ” he asks into your neck.

I’m ok! I’m ok! ” you cry.

Jungkook squeezes you harder. But a noise draws your attention once again.

Trey growls and lashes out, finally breaking the stream of Namjoons punches. It knocks Namjoon off balance and he steps back, flailing to remain upright. Trey lunges for Namjoon’s middle and the two tumble onto the floor, scrabbling to get a solid grip on one another. 

Jungkook leaps up from the couch to run to his aid.

But Namjoon has at least 20 pounds on Trey. He throws his weight, so that he ends up kneeling over the smaller man. He grabs Trey by the collar and punches.

“Don’t. Touch. Her. Ever. Again,” Namjoon grits, punctuating every word with his fists. 

Trey is hovering on the edge of consciousness by now, head lolling. Namjoon rears back to deliver the final punch to send him into oblivion, but Jungkook taps him on the shoulder.

Allow me, hyung.

With one final brutalizing blow, Jungkook sends Trey to the floor. Trey’s head bobbles like a limp doll, face bloody, flopping around with a sickening wrongness. Namjoon exhales and releases his collar, dropping him to the floor. 

Jungkook holds out a hand to help Namjoon up. The two lock eyes as soon as Namjoon’s upright, and something passes between them. What, you don’t know, but Namjoon reaches out to clap Jungkook on the shoulder.

Seeing them together, all you want is to be in their arms. You try to rise to join them, only to be tripped up by your ankle restraints, sending you sprawling on the floor. They cut into your flesh, setting the skin burning anew. You lean over to inspect your ankles and see trails of blood oozing over your shoes.

“Noona!” Namjoon cries.

He scoops you up from the floor and into his arms, crushing himself into you. His cheek rests on your head and you hear muffled whimpers reverberating his chest. It isn’t long before Namjoon is fully sobbing and you’re supporting him just as much as he’s supporting you.

I thought I’d lost you, ” he shudders.

I thought I'd never see you again, ” you breathe, feeling your tears prickle your eyes once again

As scared as you had been, you know you’re safe now, safe with your soulmates by your side. You could drown in the feeling of security that literally vibrates off Namjoon’s skin. And finally the damn breaks and you sob freely.

Arms encircle the two of you as Jungkook joins your hug, holding you between them. The touch sets your bond aflame. Once a sparkling trickle, then a rushing river, the energy that now flows through you is a furnace. Molten lava encircling you as you all hold each other. You relish the heat. Take comfort in it. Feel it fuse the three of you together, never to be separated again. 

I love you so much, Noona. I was so scared, ” Jungkook whispers.

But you saved me! You found me! ” you choke out, trying to soothe his fears. You squeeze them into you as hard as you can. 

How did you find me?! ” you gasp, recognizing the complete improbability of them just happening to stumble upon you here.

“Bridgette helped us, ” Namjoon says, pulling back to look at you. “ Shit! You’re bleeding! A lot! Are you sure you’re ok?!

I’ll be fine! But could we get these off me so we can get out of here? ” you say, indicating the ankle restraints.

“I’ve got scissors!” you hear someone say, walking into the room now that things have quieted down. Bridgette comes in, trailed by her soulmate, Jin.

“Always trust a crafter to have scissors,” she says as she pulls a pair of scissors from her purse. She leans down and cuts the ties.

As soon as you’re free, you’re being pulled from your soulmates’ arms and folded into her embrace.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you hear me?!” she scolds, squeezing you tight.

“It’s not like I asked him to kidnap me!” you laugh, shakily.

We’re glad you’re safe, Y/N. ” Jin says, patting your shoulder.

Ok great, you got your hug, now give her back, ” Jungkook whines, pulling you out of Bridgette’s arms. He buries his face in your neck, breathing deeply.

Never letting you go, ” he pouts.

“I will make sure that piece of garbage rots in hell for this, ” he mutters. He squeezes you so tight, like he’s never going to let you out of his reach ever again.

Kook… Can’t… Breathe! ” you gasp, slapping his shoulder.

He reluctantly releases you, but holds onto your hand. He doesn’t want to let you go. And you can’t blame him. You don’t want to let go of him either. Namjoon slides an arm around your shoulders, rubbing it up and down. 

And it feels so natural, this physical affection between the three of you. There’s no jealousy, no looks. Just contentment. 

And you feel like your heart might explode from how full it is. 

“So, is anyone going to call the cops, or…” Bridgette says, bringing you fully back to the present.

You let out a nervous laugh as Namjoon pulls out his phone. “Let me make a few phone calls.”

Notes:

Ok!! Let's have a proper chapter breakdown, shall we?!

First, can I just say, this was perhaps the hardest chapter for me to write? Mostly because I suck at writing fight scenes and I wanted to make sure it rode the line between believability but also give those two the thrashing they deserved.

I wanted to give Sejin a little grace here because as twisted as his logic was, he never wanted Jungkook dead. Losing his hearing seemed like an acceptable loss, but he never wanted him dead. So I went a little easier on him. But I hope you're satisfied with Trey's comeuppance. I'm glad both boys got in a few shots on him. In one draft I had Trey coming around after all the talking at the end there and having Jin sit on Trey and threaten to stomp on his balls if he moved, but I scrapped it because Trey would never just lay there and let WWH just sit on him to keep him still. But it was funny for a second. 😂

There's some healing that has to take place now. Lots and lots of healing, if you get my meaning. 😘 So something to look forward to.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! I realize that Christmas can be hard for some people, so I hope this can be a spot of brightness in your day if you needed it. 💜 Thank you, as always, for reading and continuing to read. Let me know in the comments what your favorite part was! Thank you!!!

Chapter 41

Summary:

In which you deal with the aftermath.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bold is in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



For the last time, I do not want to go to the hospital!” 

You open the door to the hotel room and head straight for the bed. You’re tired. You’re overwhelmed. And all you want to do is sleep. You don’t want to spend the next few hours waiting in a hospital room just so the doctors can slap a bandaid on your neck, steal 6 hours of your life, and charge you $3000 dollars for the pleasure of it.

But-” Jungkook starts, but stops when you round on him. Your glare says enough.

You plop into the bed, letting your weary bones sink into the plush mattress. Honestly, you could just sleep and sleep and sleep…

But Namjoon has other ideas.

Up!

Go away,” you grumble.

Come on. We at least need to disinfect that cut properly,” he says. 

You shake your head and attempt to hide under the covers. “Please, Y/N,” he adds softly, a wobble you’ve never heard in his voice before. 

Your head pops out of the covers to find both of you soulmates looking at you, concern twisting their faces, and Namjoon on the verge of tears.

Hey, I’m sorry,” you soothe. “Come here.

You reach out to them, beckoning them to join you. Jungkook, ever the eager bun, leaps into the bed and snuggles into your side. Namjoon kneels near the side of the bed, cradling your hand in his. It takes a long moment for him to compose himself enough to speak.

I will never forgive myself for not being here,” Namjoon says, voice thick.

Quit that!” you gently chide. “You had no way of knowing that this would happen! You can’t be near me all the time. What about when you’re performing on stage? What am I going to do? Be your backup dancer?!

S’not a bad idea.” Jungkook nuzzles himself into your shoulder and you huff out 

No! It’s a terrible idea! I’d make you all a laughing stock!

Noona, please… I think-” Namjoon’s hands rake through his hair. “I will go crazy unless you’re always by my side,” he pleads, tears swimming in his eyes.

Hyung,” Jungkook chides.

I know, I know. I just… I feel so helpless. So- so small.” 

Namjoon hangs his head over your clasped hands, breathing deeply. He does look so small, hunched over, kneeling next to you. Your heart clenches.

This thing, between us. It’s so new. And it’s going to take some getting used to,” you say. “It’s not easy, walking around with your heart outside of your body, is it?

No,” Namjoon says. Jungkook grunts his agreement from behind you.

We’ve got to trust each other. Because we will drive each other crazy if we never get a break from each other.

He sighs. You can see his internal battle on his face. The desire to keep you close and safe warring with the knowledge that no relationship, no matter how fated they may be, can flourish while being smothered. Everyone needs alone time. And knowing how little alone time Namjoon and Jungkook already get, you will make damn sure they get that time to unwind and recharge. 

Fine. I will try. But in the meantime, will you please let me clean you up?

I’ll go order some food,” Jungkook offers and hops up to head into the living room.

Come on,” Namjoon says gently, pulling you to your feet. 

He looks so soft right now, you almost want to drag him back into bed and snuggle until the food comes. But his anxiety will not let him relax until your neck has been taken care of. So you let him pull you gently out of bed and follow him to the bathroom.

Here,” he says, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you up onto the counter as if you were nothing more than a feather. You jolt with surprise. It seems your two soulmates have at least one thing in common… Muscles.

Namjoon runs warm water over a washcloth and reaches for the tiny bar of soap. He struggles to get the small rectangle unwrapped and grunts in frustration, fighting against the tiny plastic wrapped disc. It’s simply too cute for words. But knowing Namjoon, he’s more likely to snap it in half, than unwrap it in one piece.

Here, let me.

I can’t seem to do anything right,” he mutters, almost to himself, handing the soap over. 

But you straighten. Like hell you’re going to let him put himself down.

Kim Namjoon!” you say firmly. “You are one of the smartest, kindest, and most capable men I know. And you are the leader of one of the most successful groups in history!” You pin him with a look. “I know that you know just how talented and how very capable you are. And I will remind you of that every damn day, just in case you forget. Like it seems you have right now.

Namjoon hangs his head and takes a deep breath. You lift a hand to his cheek. He leans into your hand, his eyes closing as his hand covers yours. The warmth blooming from his touch, your bond, it’s sanative.

But…” he takes a shuddering breath. “I feel like a complete failure right now. I didn’t protect things with you and Kook before. I didn’t protect you today. And now all hell is breaking loose because of the announcement and-

What announcement?” you say sharply, cutting him off.

Uh… Nothing!” He backs away from you quickly.

Where’s my phone!” You try to hop off the counter, but Namjoon rushes forward to keep you on the counter.

Don’t worry about it! Plus,we still need to clean your-” 

You silence him with a glare. He heaves a heavy sigh.

Can you at least wait until Jungkook is back before we tell you?

You narrow your eyes as you consider. “Fine,” you say reluctantly.

Namjoon takes the bar of soap and lathers up the washcloth in the warm water. He gently dabs at your neck, focusing first on clearing away the dried blood crusted there. He furrows his brows as he works, singularly focused on his task. It reminds you of that one time Namjoon was tasked with peeling potatoes in that one episode of Bon Voyage. You attempt to smother your smile, watching him. Try being the operative word. 

But the washcloth suddenly brushes against the cut, wiping the grin from your face. You suck a breath in through your teeth as a razor sharp sting registers on your neck.

This might sting a little,” he says apologetically, continuing to work on the actual wound now. You grit your teeth, bracing against the pain as best you can. But a small whimper still escapes.

You’re doing great, baby. Almost done,” he soothes.

He turns and rinses out the cloth, streaks of rusty red blooming in the water.. And when he turns back to you he stops, his eyes locked onto your neck. His scrutiny makes you feel like an insect being pinned to a board for examination.

Did he…? Please tell me that’s not what I think.” He struggles with the words, sorrow evaporating from the heat of his anger. “He tried to cut your soulmark off?” 

Your hand flies up to cover it, but he catches it. Holding it away from you as he continues to inspect the wound. His nostrils flare, cheeks hollowing as he sucks them inward and his jaw clenches. 

You take in all 181 cm of this man, anger rolling off him in silent, violent waves. Your stomach flips at the sight. You hope to God he’s never angry at you like that.

I’m going to make sure that piece of shit never sees the light of day again.” He’s quiet, but clear as a fucking bell. Cold fury burns in his eyes and it’s more than a little intimidating. You stay quiet, not wanting to poke an already furious bear. It seems even koalas can be vicious.

It takes him taking several deep breaths to rein in his anger. And you’re a little ashamed at the pit of heat building in your core, watching the control this powerful man has over himself.

But the building heat vanishes as he picks up and drags the washcloth across your neck again, making you tense up for a less pleasurable reason. The pain triggers a flash of memory, seeing a flash of Trey’s eyes as he cut into you. And your eyes sting with tears.

I was so scared,” you whisper, voice wobbling.

Us too.” He tilts your face to look you in the eye, wiping your tears away with a thumb. “You have no idea.

I love you both so much. I thought… I thought…” you start, but your mind recoils from the mere idea of how close you came to losing them. You bury your face into Namjoon’s chest.

You- you love me?” Namjoon’s deep voice sounds so small, so unsure.

You pull back, eyes widening slightly as you realize your confession. But it doesn’t freak you out as much as you thought it might. You just wish you had said it in a prettier way. One where your eyes weren’t bloodshot and you didn’t have blood on your clothes.

Yes,” you whisper. “I can’t live without you. You are a part of me. And I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize it sooner.

Now it’s Namjoon’s turn to cry, his eyes spilling over and tracking down his reddened cheeks. He leans in, tentative, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. Slowly, and ever so carefully, he touches his lips to yours, as light as the brush of a butterfly’s wing.

The kiss, sweet and chaste, until it’s not.

At some point, something shifts, the tender gesture becoming something more. Something darker. More desperate.

Namjoon pulls you into him with restrained strength. Lips crush into yours as his arms wind around you, pulling you even closer, molding your bodies into one another. His tongue demands entrance, and you gladly grant it. Twisting your tongue with his, he deepens the kiss. 

His fingers trace up your back, twining themselves into your hair as he holds you even closer. You moan as he pulls your head to the side and traces down the column of the unmarked side of your neck with teeth and tongue and lip. The sensation sends your head spinning with pleasure. Your arms float up to circle around his neck, threading your fingers through his hair as he groans into your neck.

He devours you like a man starving, kissing his way back to your lips. Your legs part and he presses himself between them, his hands dropping to your hips to pull you even closer. Your arms tighten around his neck, pressing his lips even harder into yours. You writhe against him, wishing you could be under his skin, closer than you’ve ever been. You wrap your legs around Namjoon’s hips and squeeze, locking your ankles together behind his back. You moan into his mouth when you feel him at your core, the heat of him traveling straight through the layers of your clothes to your center.

A choked noise startles the two of you out of your stupor. You both look over, eyes wide, to see Jungkook standing in the doorway with bags of food hanging from his hands.

“Damn… That was…” Jungkook blows out a breath through pursed lips. His pupils are fully dilated, a hunger painted across his face.

Heat rising to your cheeks, you release your legs, and Namjoon steps back.

We were just, uh-” Namjoon stammers.

I know exactly what you two were doing.” Jungkook smirks.

Namjoon doesn’t utter another word. He just ducks head, and practically runs out of the bathroom. Pleasant amusement plays across Jungkook’s face as he watches his hyung make a hasty retreat.

You wish you could do the same. Getting caught making out with someone else? Even if they are your soulmate, is still awkward as hell.

You move to hop off the counter, but Jungkook tuts at you to stay put.

He didn’t even finish putting on the bandage,” Jungkook mutters, taking up Namjoon’s vacated post.

You clear your throat. “He was getting to it. We just got… distracted.

I see,” Jungkook says with a knowing smile. “Do you think maybe we could get distracted a little too?

He unwraps some large bandaids and begins to apply them gently to your neck.

Maybe later,” you say, embarrassed. Jungkook just chuckles.

It’s ok. We’ve got all the time in the world now.

Notes:

I'm sorry. Writer's block sucks. I basically had everything plotted out until the kidnapping and then started writing, thinking I'd figure out the end when I got there. Which bit me in the ass. I hope you enjoyed this and I'm sorry this took so damn long. I *will* finish this fic come hell or high water. It's not over yet! We still need our HEA and some questions answered!

But let us scream about that KISS!!! And the confession!! Sweet Namjesus. I don't seem to struggle writing the spicier stuff. Lol!
It's that dang plot the gets in the way. Lol! We'll get back to more JK stuff soon, I promise!! But I felt like Namjoon needed his moment. Also did you catch the Closer lyrics? I love it when I can sneak those in.

I hope you enjoyed this short, but sweet chapter. Thank you, as always for reading! Let me know what you thought!

Chapter 42

Notes:

Anything in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that is not bold is in English and (most likely) intentional.

---TRIGGER WARNING---
There's a short description of a trauma response near the beginning. I have marked the triggering section so you can skip over if you'd prefer. I'll put the TL;DR in the end notes.
Love you!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



You don’t remember much after finishing your food last night. You must have passed out at some point because you wake up in your bed, heart racing. Sweat clings to the edges of your scalp, making your hair stick to your face. You sit up, trying to brush the hair out of your face and take some deep breaths. 

The remnants of your nightmare are receding faster than the morning fog in full sun, disjointed threads blurring into obscurity. But the one thing you do remember seeing? 

Trey’s face, and you shiver. 

Jagiya, you ok? ” A groggy Jungkook lifts himself up on one elbow.

Yes , ” you lie smoothly. “ Go back to sleep, Kookie. I’m going to get a glass of water .”

Jungkook grunts as he plops back down and starts snoring. You shake your head and silently chuckle. Your legs hang off the side of the bed and you step down expecting carpet. But instead you feel something warm, firm, but slightly squishy. With your nightmare still so fresh on your mind, you can’t stop the scream that rips out of you.

What? What happened? ” a frazzled, sleep drunk Namjoon says, jumping up from his makeshift bed on the floor. Jungkook, too, bolts upright, scanning the room for threats.

What on earth are you doing down there?! You scared me to death! ” you gasp, once your heart returns from its unscheduled sojourn to your throat.

Namjoon sighs.

Well, we couldn’t ask you if it was ok if I stayed in the bed tonight since you fell asleep. ”  He rubs his face as he fights sleep. He looks so adorably smol. “But I couldn’t bear to be away from you. Not tonight. So Kook and I compromised that I would sleep down here.”

While I appreciate your concern for my consent, I wish you’d chosen to sleep somewhere else so that I didn’t step on you!”

Sorry. It was the closest I could get…

I have to get some water, but when I get back I expect you to be off the floor and in this bed. It’s a king sized bed for crying out loud! We can all fit.

Really? You’re ok with that? ” Namjoon blearily, shooting a look at Jungkook, who just shrugs.

Yes, ” you sigh. “But just for tonight. We can talk about it more tomorrow.

Namjoon grunts in approval.

He climbs into the bed and Jungkook flops back over and snuggles in under the covers. In the bathroom, you splash some water on your face and stare into the mirror. It’s a pretty grizzly sight. 

--------------TRIGGER WARNING-------------

Your hair is a mess, there are dark patches under your eyes, and you can see the beginnings of bruises showing up all over your body. The biggest bruise, though, is partially obscured by the bandage on your neck. You peel back the dressing and truly assess the damage.

Thankfully Trey hadn’t actually cut into the mark itself, just around it. But the angry u-shaped line looks like a grotesque halo surrounding the topmost curve of the swan’s graceful neck.

Seeing the damage up close, really taking in the physical evidence of your kidnapping… Everything hits you all at once. All the fear, all the confusion, all the anger rushing in, one on top of the other, all fighting for dominance. It threatens to pull you under. 

Your mind spins, your heart races. It feels like you have too much air in your lungs, but you still can’t manage to get any oxygen. Like you’re an overinflated balloon, but slowly sinking from lack of helium. 

You slide to the floor, desperately trying to hold the edges of yourself together, feeling that at any minute, the giant hole that’s formed in your chest will suddenly peel back and spill your soul all over the floor, like a shattered egg.

The bathroom door bursts open. You turn just in time to see Jungkook and Namjoon rushing towards you, eyes wild.

It's ok, Noona, ” Jungkook pleads, reaching out to cradle your face.

We’re here. Nothing can get to you, ” Namjoon adds, pressing himself into your back.

--------------TRIGGER WARNING END-------------

They must've felt your fear through you bond. They wrap their arms around you, offering an anchor, a solidness to desperately cling to. And though your tears continue to fall, their energy holds you together, supporting the ragged edges of you with both their arms and their bonds. It weaves itself around you, flowing in and out like a braid. An endless coil, binding you together.

In that cocoon of safety, you finally let go of everything you’ve been holding back. Not just from the last twenty four hours, but everything. Bonding with Jungkook on that airplane. The upheaval that was to your life. The fear and anxiety of Jungkook’s feelings in those first weeks. The separation. His hearing loss. The marks. All the confusion and uncertainty… 

All of it runs through your mind as you cry. And they patiently hold you through it all, murmuring soft reassurances to you, rubbing your back, and giving gentle kisses to your temple and hair.

After what was both an eternity and also hardly any time at all, your tears begin to subside. 

Feeling better? ” Jungkook asks, his big, round eyes searching yours. He looks through you, through your bravado and pain. Almost as if the timid little boy inside him is reaching out to the terrified little girl within you. The simple act of acknowledging a kindred spirit. 

You quiet even further and nod.

Let’s get back to bed, ” Namjoon says, lifting you from the floor. Hand in hand, he leads you back into the bedroom, Jungkook’s hand reassuringly on your lower back.

I’ll take this side, hyung, ” Jungkook says and walks around to the far side of the bed. You crawl in next to him, and Namjoon settles in on your other side. 

Sweet dreams, Noona. I love you, ” Jungkook says.

Love you too, Kookie.

Good night, y/n, ” Namjoon says softly.

‘Night, Joon-ah. Love you.

His arms tighten around you, and you could’ve sworn you heard the tell tale sounds of muffled crying. But you’re so, so tired and already halfway to dreamland, so you can’t be sure it wasn’t just your imagination.

 

When your eyes open next, you squint at the alarm clock, trying to figure out what time it is. With the black out curtains, it could be 6 am, or 6 pm and you’d never know. 

God bless black out curtains. 

When your eyes finally decide to focus, you see that it’s a little past noon. You feel like you could sleep forever, but your bladder on the other hand, feels like it is going to explode. So you slink out from under arms and legs and tiptoe into the bathroom. 

When you return, you’re struck by the scene in the bed. Both men sprawled out, sleeping peacefully, a mashup of hard lines and soft curves. And it is so damn beautiful, you want to take a picture, to capture this moment of your soulmates forever.

You pick up your phone and power it on. The deluge of notifications create a chorus of dings as your phone boots up, and you curse as you try to silence them. You don’t want to wake them up! They looked absolutely angelic sleeping! Really, it should be illegal to look that good while you’re sleeping.

You try to snap the picture quickly, but you’re foiled as Namjoon raises his head at the continual ringing of your notifications.

“Good morning,” he says in English with sleep scratchy words.

“Morning.”

What time is it? God, his voice is so deep in the morning.

A little after noon.

Shit! We gotta get going soon! We have another appointment with the specialist today! ” he says, suddenly wide awake. He launches out of bed.

Can’t we reschedule? I think she’ll understand, given the circumstances.

“You’re probably right. But I don’t know how much longer we can stay in LA. Plus, I really wanted to talk to her about our marks, ” Namjoon says, searching through a pile of clothing on the floor.

Oh, right. That. With everything that had happened recently, thoughts of your marks had gone completely off your radar.

Jungkook lifts his head and grumbles what sounds like “guhmunin”.

I’m going to go make some phone calls. Be right back, ” Namjoon says quickly, darting from the room and pulling on a clean shirt as he goes. You sigh at the destruction Hurricane Namjoon left in his wake.  

Sleep well? ” you turn and ask Jungkook. He nods and groans as he stretches.

Good. I’ll see about getting us some food, ” you say and turn on your phone to order something. You start sorting through your notifications. Half of them seem to be text messages of the “where are you?” variety, increasing in desperation and you go through them. You quickly swipe those away, not wanting to revisit that memory just now. 

But you notice the other half are from tweets and your other socials about the big announcement on James Corden last night. You click on a link of a video labeled, “BTS’s Big Announcement!”

Jungkook, who’s eyes had started to drift back closed, fly open as the sounds of James Corden’s band start the clip.

Wait! Noona, don’t watch that yet! Please! ” Jungkook says, lunging towards you. But you have the advantage of being on your feet. You skitter away from him, just out of reach.

Well, it’s funny you should ask that… ” Namjoon’s tinny sounding voice says from your phone’s speakers. Jungkook struggles to untangle himself from the sheets and cross the bed to get to you, so you make a break for the living area. Only to run smack into Namjoon’s broad chest. You stumble and his large hands steady you.

Whoa! What-? ” he asks.

James Corden’s voice is still coming out of your phone, and he looks down at the device, realization dawning on him.

Hyung, I tried! ” Jungkook laments, finally liberated from the linens and coming up behind you.

Namjoon gently takes the phone from your hand and turns it off. A grimace twists his lips as he looks at the now black screen. But you’ve had enough evasion.

What the hell is going on? Someone tell me already! ” 

The boys share a look over your shoulder. Some bullshit telepathic Bangtan communication occurs and then you’re being led over to the sofa. Once seated, the boys on opposite sides of you, they take on a very professional, press conference-esque demeanor.

Noona, ” Namjoon starts hesitantly, picking up your hands, seeming to unconsciously seek the physical reassurance of your soulmate bond. “ Yesterday we made the decision to go public about our soulmate status. ” 

Your mind is reeling. Why didn’t they tell you? Did the company approve of this? What does this mean? What about Bridgette? Did they share everyone’s soulmate status, or just the three of them? So many questions swirl around, and you’re not even sure where to start. Your brow furrows with the effort.

We wanted it to be a surprise, ” Jungkook says, somehow anticipating your thought process. “ We didn’t ask for the company’s permission.

You nod, still processing. 

We only made the decision a few hours before the taping and wanted to come back to the hotel to watch with you and surprise you, ” Namjoon adds.

But instead, they’d come back only to find you missing. It had been a surprise alright. Just not the one they’d intended.

So what does this mean? ” you ask. Now that the threat of exposure wasn’t looming over you, did that mean you didn’t have to hide anymore?

Well, for starters, it means I get to kiss you whenever I want! ” Jungkook says, looking more excited than you thought necessary. Was he planning on making public make out sessions a regular thing? Because you’d had enough of that to last a lifetime. Seeing practically every angle of your airport kiss was not something you wanted to repeat.

It means, ” Namjoon says, cutting his eyes at Kook, “ That you don’t have to hide. You’re not a secret. We’ll be able to have better security measures in place for you because you’ll be traveling with us. ” Namjoon gives your hands a squeeze. “But more importantly, you’re going to be protected by the company. They can’t try to deny it anymore. Not when we came out and said it.

But what about Jin? And the other guys? What exactly did you say about them?”

I was purposefully vague. We said that certain members had soulmates, but asked for privacy with regards to their identities. We thought the fandom would be ready to hear about our soulmates, but not that two of us shared one. ” 

It strikes you that even though you won’t have to hide from public view, you’ll still be hiding a part of your relationship. A sour taste floods your mouth. How much longer will we have to hide?

You’re saved from your thoughts when you hear a knock at the door. Namjoon gets up and opens the door. Giant, beefy dudes file into your hotel room. They stand expectant and silent, monolithic. You raise an eyebrow at the hulking figures.

They’re going to escort us to our appointment,” Namjoon says tightly. Who does he think is going to attack you?

Is this really necessary? ” You’re trying really hard not to let your complete exasperation leak into your tone.

Please, noona. Just go with it, ok? ” Jungkook pleads softly in your ear, coming up behind you and winding his arms around your waist. He looks at you from beneath his lashes, wide puppy dog eyes begging. You narrow your eyes at him.

Just because you’re adorable doesn’t mean you can get away with this. ” 

His doe eyes open wider, lips slightly pouting, and he levels you with an absolutely devastating, “ Please?

Like you could say no to that.

Fine, ” you huff. “ Let’s go Brute Squad™️, ” you say, addressing your new bodyguards and heading for the door. 

 

When you get to the doctor’s lab, you’re led into a small, but brightly lit room, the Brute Squad™️ forced to wait in the hallway due to lack of room. The bookcases and desks crammed into the corners are littered with papers and stacks of books interspersed with little whale trinkets. Your mind drifts to the song Whalien 52 and you softly hum the melody to yourself. The more you think about that song and its lyrics, the more you feel sad for the guys. 

For so long, most of them have been alone, alienated by their celebrity, unable to get close to someone outside of their little family. Partially in fear of potentially getting a soulmate contrary to the company’s wishes, which at their level of notoriety, makes, and had made, things difficult for the group. And partly due to the fact that there are so many people out there that would use them solely for their benefit, taking pieces of them with no intention of giving anything in return, whether that be for money, fame, or sex.

And that’s not even taking into account the crazy sasaengs that hounded them like hyenas.

Your heart gives a squeeze for them and loneliness they’ve likely suffered. You hate that Kook and Joon had to wait so long for you. But you remind yourself that even if it did take a while, you’ve all found each other now. And there’s no going back.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” Dr. Anamchara says as she enters her office and settles behind her desk. She waves for you all to sit.

“Thank you for seeing us again on such short notice,” Namjoon replies.

“Absolutely! Think nothing of it! So, you mentioned having some additional questions on the phone. How can I help?”

You all share a look, wondering who should go first. Jungkook surprises both you and Namjoon by taking the lead.

We’re wondering how this ,” he gestures to the three of you, “ all works. And our marks, I haven’t gotten mine yet. Namjoon hyung and Noona both have theirs, but I still don’t have mine.” He pauses and you translate for him, jumping in before Namjoon can. Namjoon gives you a soft smile. You know he normally takes on the burden of translating for the group. You’re happy you can help lift some of that burden now. And you add, “And I’d also like to know why my mark looks like this now.”

You carefully unwrap the scarf from your neck that you have become so accustomed to wearing on the daily. Even more so now that you’re also trying to cover the cut from before. The doctor rises from her desk to come and inspect your mark, trailing freshly gloved fingers over the ferning patterns. She clucks at the fresh wound asking, “What happened here?”

“Oh, um, it was an accident,” you rush. She gives you a sidelong look.

“Hmm… Well, it appears that you’ve gone through some traumatic bonding,” the doctor says.

“Traumatic bonding?” you say, “That doesn’t sound good.

“It’s a lot less scary than it sounds. It just means that your bond wasn’t completely formed before there was a separation or possibly some emotional disturbances. That’s what can cause this ferning pattern to appear. Does that sound like anything you’ve experienced?”

She looks at you with kind eyes, already knowing the answer to her own question. You simply nod.

“Well, I’d say that, coupled with the lack of the complete bonding between the three of you, could’ve caused strain on your bonds, causing what is essentially an electrical burn. As you might already know, soulmate bonds operate on the electromagnetic spectrum and strong enough forces can cause the origination point for your connection, or your soulmarks, to become stressed and create leakage of the soul energies into the surrounding tissues. I would think that with constant contact with your soulmates and positive reinforcement of your bonds will help to remedy that fact.” You sigh with relief. “But no more separations!” she scolds.

You nod and laugh, translating for Jungkook, who looks relieved.

“But that still doesn’t answer why our bonds are all in different places,” Namjoon says.

“You’re right,” Dr. Anamchara says, walking over to a larger scaled version of the camera’s she brought to the sound stage the other day. “And here is where we leave documented scientific evidence and wander into the realm of… speculation and educated guesses.” She laughs at her own joke, but the rest of you just sit in uncomfortable silence. She clears her throat and continues.

“As you have probably discovered, there aren’t very many documented cases of three way bonds. Especially one as complicated as yours.” Namjoon lets out a nervous laugh. “Not only do both these young men have a bond with you, but also with each other. Their bond was in place first, which is probably what caused some of the difficulties creating a stable bond in the first place. But it seems that you partially bonded with Mr. Kim somehow, as his mark appeared some time ago, isn’t that right?”

Namjoon nods and hums his affirmation.

“Well then, let’s take a look at your bonds, shall we?” she says, clapping her hands together.

Dr. Anamchara guides the three of you into position in front of the camera and then returns to her computer to adjust some of the settings on the camera. You aren’t sure if you’re supposed to stand still like an x-ray or not, so you settle on hardly breathing, gripping the hands of your soulmates as you wait. It feels like you’re standing there for years. Every now and then, she asks for different configurations of the three of you, so you shuffle around or stand to the side as needed.

“Alright! That should do it! Let’s take a look shall we?” She beckons you over to view the screen.

“So, I’d like to remind you that we’re wading into uncharted waters here. I’ll need some more time to analyze this data. But I did think you’d find this interesting. Look at the color of your energy transference! The lines between Y/N and both Mr. Jeon and Mr. Kim are definitively pink.” She points to the pink lines that seem to me moving away from you and into the boys. “But what’s interesting is that they are returning something completely different! It’s hard to capture, but it’s almost like iridescence. I’ve never seen this before. It’s fascinating!”

You follow the doctor’s finger as she points out the energy lines she’s talking about. And it’s like the different energies are struggling for dominance, pink and blue swirling and shining together, creating an almost purple hue, but that shines in a way that is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. It is so beautiful.

“My guess is that the romantic bonds are interacting with the familial bond between Mr. Jeon and Mr. Kim. While three way bonds are rare, those couplings have all been unrelated to each other beforehand. Hmm… I think the fact that the boys had a strong familial bond in place before bonding with you is altering all of their bonds. I would not be surprised if the familial bond changes somewhat in the process…”

Dr. Anamchara almost sounds as if she’s talking to herself at this point, talking out her theories to work through them. You look at Namjoon and Jungkook. Jungkook looks about as lost as you feel, but somehow Namjoon seems to be following along. Thank god someone understands.

“So, do you think that’s why our marks are all appearing in different places? Because the bonds are being warped by each other?” Namjoon asks.

“It’s entirely possible. When did your mark appear Mr. Kim?”

“It was about six months ago.”

“Soul marks usually start to appear about a week after contact. Do you remember what you were doing a week before you noticed your mark appearing?”

Namjoon furrows his brows trying to recollect, but pulls out his phone. He opens his phone’s gallery and scrolls back to a date about 6 months ago. You watch over his shoulder as he slowly scrolls through a few dates. His whole gallery looks like one art exhibit after another, interspersed with adorkable selfies. You smile, a sweet slice of his life, until something catches your eye. 

“Wait, stop!” you say, reaching out to scroll back through his pictures until you land on the one that caught your eye. It’s a selfie taken at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Namjoon is squinting and smiling at the camera, throwing a peace sign up near his eye. And framed, almost perfectly between his fingers, is your face.

Namjoon lets out a surprised yelp.

What? ” Jungkook asks.

I’m in one of Namjoon pictures, ” you say in utter disbelief. 

Really? Let me see! ” Jungkook tilts the phone so he can see.

“Why am I on your phone?” you laugh, switching back to English for Dr. Anamchara’s benefit..

“I was there for the opening of a Korean art exhibit on loan there. What were you doing there?!”

You’re struggling to grasp the fact that you had unwittingly been so close to a member of BTS in the wild and never knew it.

“I was there to emcee an event. I don’t just do audiobooks, you know. Sometimes I do other voice over stuff, too. Did you go? I feel like I would’ve remembered if a member of BTS showed up to an event I was working.” 

“No. It was too public. I came for a private tour and to take a few pictures for their marketing campaign. I… I remember this picture now. I remember being disappointed. I really liked it, but I couldn’t use it because someone was in the background. But I couldn’t bring myself to delete the photo, either. I didn’t know why at the time.”

“Well, that solves that mystery quite nicely, doesn’t it?” Doctor Anamchara says merrily.

“But what about Jungkook’s mark? What do we do about that?” you ask, wondering just how to move forward with this.

“Well, have you looked everywhere?” Dr. Anamchara asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, of course!” Jungkook interjects, blushing. His English must be getting better if he can understand that, you think.

“Let me rephrase. Have you looked everywhere? Closely? ” Her eyes look downward, pointedly telling another story. Your cheeks warm with slight embarrassment.

“Oh, well… Maybe not that closely… everywhere…” you mumble.

The doctor laughs good naturedly. “Well, then I’d suggest that maybe you pay extra close attention to places that might not be visible to the public. It will help to heal the trauma bond as well.” She says with a knowing smile. She checks her watch. “I’m sorry. I have to cut our meeting short. I have to teach class in a few, but you three have fun investigating !” 

She sends you a wink as she gets a few things from her desk. Namjoon looks completely blank. Totally emotionless. You snicker. This must be his PR training kicking in. Can’t be seen looking scandalized by sexual innuendos, now can he. 

“Thank you Doctor. I’ll take that under advisement,” you say, reaching out and shaking her hand. Jungkook and Namjoon also shake her hand and you all follow her out of her office, parting ways as she heads down a different hallway and you pick up the bodyguards.

What did she say at the end there? ” Jungkook asks, his eyes narrowing as you walk back to the car.

She all but told us to get you naked, ” you say as nonchalantly as possible,

Jungkook stops, face just as blank and devoid of emotion as Namjoon’s before. Both you and Namjoon laugh, and pull him into the car. And if you weren’t mistaken, you could almost swear some of the Brute Squad™️’s ears and neck turned pink.

Notes:

TL;DR - Seeing your wound triggers a PTSD flash back of all the trauma you've endured since bonding with Kook. You start to spiral, but you soulmates rush to your aid, feeling your emotions through the bond. Commence snugglefest.

Hey friends! I am updating today in honor of my friend R's birthday! Everyone say happy birthday!! So, this was an interesting chapter. A mix of angst, tooth rotting fluff, "science", and answers. Oh, and you can't forget the Brute Squad™️. 🤣 (FYI, The Princess Bride is one of my all time favorite movies)

And can we get a high five for Dr. A basically telling them to get it on already? 🤣🤣🤣 I've set things up quite nicely for the next chapter to be quite spicy, if I do say so myself. So something to look forward to.

As always, thank you for your continued readership. I know I'm not the most consistent updater, but like I've said, I'm committed to seeing this through. I've got everything planned out, plus a few bonus chapters after the story ends. I'm curious what everyone's favorite is, so comment below with your favorite parts so far! Thank you again! Until next time! 😘

Chapter 43

Summary:

In which you make several discoveries.

Notes:

Anything written in bold is spoken in Korean. Any dialogue that isn't bold is in English and (most likely) intentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text



Jungkook POV

 

Hyung,” Jungkook said softly. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

I’m serious, Kook-ah. You and Noona have fun investigating. I’m going to stay with Jiminie and Taehyungie tonight,” Namjoon said, putting together an overnight kit. He fumbled his toothbrush, dropping it a few times before actually getting it into the bag. Jungkook couldn’t do anything but frown.

But-

Seriously! As much as I love you and Noona, I just don’t think I’m ready for… for all that.

His ears are as red as a strawberry, Jungkook thought. Namjoon just closed his eyes and sighed. “I want to get to know her a little better before taking that next step. Plus, no offense?” He smashed another pair of underwear into his bag. “I’d like my first time with my soulmate to be just the two of us. I want it to be… Special. You know?

Namjoon turned pleading eyes on him. Jungkook knew that look well. It was the look Namjoon used when he really wanted to make a point, but he was done trying to explain. Jungkook could understand that. Hell, he wasn’t exactly certain how he felt about having a future audience. Or another participant for that matter. But he had known Namjoon long enough to know when to push him, and when to back off.

I know,” Jungkook relented.

Thank you.

A simple response, but Namjoon’s shoulders slumped with relief as he swung the bag onto his shoulders. Jungkook followed him out, still feeling uneasy about it, even if he could understand it

Noona was waiting for them by the door, chewing on her cuticles. She spoke the words Jungkook had been feeling, but hadn’t quite been able to verbalize.

I don’t want you to feel like we’re excluding you. Even if it was your idea in the first place,” she said, wrapping Namjoon into a hug.

I promise I don’t. If I get lonely, I’ll get Taehyung or Jimin to take me out clubbing or something.” He smiled warmly at her, but it did nothing to erase the crease between her brows.

See you in the morning, hyung. Come back if you need us,” Jungkook said, clapping him on the back.

I will. See you guys tomorrow,” Namjoon said.

Jungkook closed the door behind him and turned to Noona. She stood there, frowning at the door. He could tell that she didn’t like being separated from any of her soulmates. And no wonder, Jungkook thought, especially after everything she’s been through.

Come on,” Jungkook said, pulling her into his side. “I believe you said something earlier about getting me naked?

Noona rolled her eyes and elbowed his side. She settled in a little closer though, and Jungkook knew he was on the right track. He wasn’t really horny. Ok, that was a lie, but what he really wanted was to occupy Noona’s thoughts with something other than Namjoon’s absence. And he was certain he could find a way to do just that.

Well, it was Doctor’s orders,” she mumbled, flustered.

Perfect.

How should we start?” he asked, the portrait of innocence. If he played his cards right, this evening would be anything but.

I think a good start might be getting rid of some of these clothes. You know. For inspection purposes, of course.”

Oh, yes. Of course,” he said, pulling off his socks and handing them to her. She looked at him, incredulous. He barely held back his laughter.

Jungkook.

Yes?

Can you see your feet?

Of course I can, why?

I’m pretty sure she meant places you couldn’t see,” she said, her demeanor shifting into something softly simmering. Bingo. “Like, maybe… here?

Her finger trailed lightly between his shoulders, continuing down and down, until it rested above the waistband of his jeans. It sent a shiver up his spine. “Or maybe, here?” Her tone was at total odds with the way her hand slid into his Calvin Klein’s and squeezed his ass. Jungkook let out a shaky breath, feeling his already half hard cock fill out even faster.

Jungkook thought his heart might stop when she came around him and dropped to her knees, eyes never leaving his. God, she was so damn sexy. And he knew the image of her, kneeling before him, wasn’t going to be something he’d soon forget.

Can’t see anything with these on, though.

Her hands moved tortuously slow, unzipping his jeans tooth by tooth. He wanted to rip his clothes off and devour Noona until she was gasping for air. Instead, he tightened his jaw and waited, breathing heavily as she guided his pants over his bulge inch by inch. He could be patient… Sometimes.

He’d already started leaking, the evidence traitorously visible on his boxer briefs. She blew a cool breath over the spot, sending shivers up his spine. Smiling, she gently pressed her finger against it, causing the spot to grow even more. He felt like he was going to explode just from that little touch.

I see you’ve got a little problem here,” she said, smirking up at him.

Little?!” Jungkook choked. He’d show her how little he was.

He reached for her, but stopped when her tongue pressed against his head of his cock, mouthing him through his underwear. A strangled noise left his throat.

Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it for you, baby.

She continued her ministrations, her hands dragging slowly up his thigh to cup his balls, gently squeezing. He’d never really seen the point to long drawn out foreplay before. But he was beginning to see the appeal.

When the fabric covering his tip was completely soaked, her hands pulled the waistband of his underwear down. He finally sprung free, cock bouncing to attention. She kissed and sucked along his length, teasing, fleeting, infuriating touches. He let out a shaky breath as she got closer and closer to the tip, closer to enveloping him.

Almost in reflex, he tilted his hips forward, seeking her warmth. She chuckled at the needy movement and licked along the underside of him, from balls to tip, finally lapping up the clear bead of precum clinging to his swollen head. It was almost purple from how hard he was now.

She pulled back, sliding hands up and under his shirt. “Let’s get rid of this too, shall we?

He nodded dumbly, completely entranced by her. His breath came in shorts pants as he pulled the shirt up and over his head with so much force, he ripped the neck seam open.

Damn,” he muttered. He really liked that shirt.

Jungkook swore in surprise, distracted as he was by his shirt, as she took him fully into her mouth. The sudden wet warmth made stars explode up and down his spine.

She chuckled through her nose as she hollowed her cheeks and slowly drew back and wrapped one hand around the base of his cock. Oh god, it felt like heaven. The way she pressed against the underside of him with her tongue, creating the most delicious pressure and friction… The spot in his gut started tightening and he began to question how long he might actually last at this rate.

His hands found their way to her head, winding his fingers into her hair and massaging her scalp, trying to slow her down. “What’s the rush?” he panted. “We’ve got all night.

Her eyes met his, the barest hint of a devilish gleam, and then she was doubling her efforts. Fireworks exploded up and down his body, both bond and physical pleasure cascading over him. He would’ve cum right then and there if he hadn’t pulled away faster than armies putting Tae’s instagram stories on twitter before he could delete them.

He drew a tight breath through his teeth, hissing, as she continued to stroke him with her hand. And she had the balls to laugh.

Oh, it’s like that, is it? He thought. Well two can play at that game.

 

Your POV

 

You chuckle as you reach for him, lowering your mouth to take him again, but he pulls away. You furrow your brows as you look up at him.

I think you’ve thoroughly searched that spot.” he smirks.

You pout. “No, I’m definitely sure I’ve missed something.” You reach for him again, but he jerks away, frustratingly out of reach.

I think I’d like to do some exploring of my own,” he says, bending over and dragging his hands over the outside of your thighs. Quick as lighting, he’s grabbing you behind the legs and lifting you up, your thighs straddling his waist. A small squeak escapes you as he carries you to the bed.

He doesn’t waste any time stripping you almost bare. He pauses when his fingers brush the edges of your bra, considering, then leaves it on. You don’t blame him. It’s a particularly beautiful, baby pink unlined lace bralette. One of your favorites. It leaves almost nothing to the imagination.

He sets to work, kissing your hardening nipples through the fabric. You moan as he pulls slightly on the pebbled buds, one with teeth and the other with gentle, but firm fingers. He slips his hand into your bra to cup you, twisting and teasing. You have no idea what he’s doing with those fingers, but whatever he’s doing is sending bolts of lightning straight to your core.

Moans, incomprehensible mutterings, gasps… All of them tumble out of you, unbidden, as he continues to pull your nipple into his mouth, and sucks deep. You’re so singularly focused on the pleasure radiating from your breasts, that you weren’t expecting the fingers suddenly brushing against your lower lips, seeking entry.

He pops off your breast, groaning. “Damn!” he smiles. “You’re dripping!” A pleased sort of embarrassment floods you as he draws his fingers up and down your slit, making wet little noises. “So fucking hot.

You throw your arms over your face, trying to hide how desperately turned on you are by all this.

Oh no you don’t. I want to see everything. Every. Little. Twitch.” He grins, voice low, as his stroking becomes more insistent. Then he growls in your ear. “I want to watch you come undone on my fingers.

His hand grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. He’s stretched out over top of you, arms and shoulders pulled taut, one hand trapping your wrists, the other buried between your legs. And the view is glorious. You don’t even try to resist him. You just stare, waiting. Anticipating.

He teases his fingers way between your lips, dragging up and down, sending swells of pleasure through your system. Every now and then he brushes against that delicious bundle of nerves, a tidal wave of pleasure flooding through you. Shaky breaths and weak moans escape your lips as you writhe beneath him, trying to hold it all together.

Pl… Please…” you pant.

Please what, jagiya?

M-More. I need-

Your breath catches in your throat as you feel your orgasm starting to build, his fingers finding just the right spot and working it over and over.

An impish grin widens his beatific face. “More what? You need to use your words, Noona. Isn’t that your job, after all? Using your words?

If you weren’t so close, you’d cuff his ear and tame this brat, but you’re so… damn… close…

What’s wrong baby? Cat got your tongue?” he whispers, lips brushing against your ear. He punctuates his sentence by tracing the shell of your ear with a feather light tongue.

More like a demonic bunny…” you grit through panting breaths. His dark chuckle brings you right to edge, the walls of your core fluttering in preparation.

Tell me what you need, jagi,” he rasps. “Tell me.

You. I need…” you moan deeply as he hits that spot inside you. “I need you.” You lift your hips in supplication.

It’s the magic word, because he pulls his fingers from your warmth and hastily lines himself up. He pushes, a long strung out, “Shiiiiiiiiiit,” accompanying your breathy moans.

Stretched and ready, he slides inside in one, slow, smooth stroke, filling you in the most perfect way. You heart and mind are spiraling, a string of your own curses flying from your lips. He takes a moment to compose himself, cursing at the ceiling, before sinuously rolling his hips against you. The drag and pull of it sends sparks towards your fuse, lighting it.

You feel your combined energies start to dance along your skin, setting every nerve on fire. The vibrating energy builds and grows as Jungkook relentlessly pounds into you. Faster and faster, his hips piston forward, the energies buzzing with potential energy just aching to be released.

More… Just a bit more. You need something more to push you over the edge. It’s almost as if he can read your mind, because he drops to one forearm and slides a hand between you, fingers seeking that bundle of nerves. You lift your hips, chasing his touch.

He chuckles. “You’re so beautiful when you’re desperate.

Just shut up and fuck me already!” you grind out, his fingers still teasing. You’re so damn close.

He brings his face close to yours, a fire in his eyes that leaves you breathless. His voice is low and gruff when he says, “Be careful what you ask for Noona. ‘Cause I’ll be fucking you right, seven days a week.

He finally presses against your clit, circling it with deft fingers. You cry out as your orgasm finally crashes over you, waves of pleasure hitting you with the force of a tsunami. Jungkook groans as the shockwave of your orgasm ricochets into him. He stills and groans, spilling inside you as the final pulses of your release milk him dry.

Finally spent and panting, he rolls off you and flops onto the bed next to you, eyes closed, and a breathy laugh escaping him. “That was amazing,” he says, laughing more and turning to you. “But we didn’t do a whole lot of searching, did we?

You snort. “No, I suppose we did not.” And now it’s your turn to laugh.

Jungkook wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, resting his chin atop your head, basking in the afterglow of your release. He hums as your fingers trace along the arm holding you, fingers swirling and following the lines of the tattoos that cover his skin. They’re so intricate, so detailed. You’ve never actually taken the time to observe them this closely before. And now that you do, you appreciate the artistry inked into his skin. You send a mental tip of the hat to his artist as your fingers continue to trail across his skin, raising goosebumps.

Mmm, that feels so good,” he murmurs. You press a kiss into the closest patch of skin you can reach, a spot on his shoulders, and pull back as a spark of energy zings across your lips.

What was that?” you half yell, startled by the stinging sensation.

What was what, jagiya?

You didn’t just feel that shock?

No? Should I have?

I just kissed you here and it felt like a shock,” you say, pressing fingertips into his skin where your lips had been moments before. A faint electric buzz reverberates through your fingers, the warmth and swirl of your energies intensifying.

You sit up quickly, a thought hitting you. Turning on the flashlight of your phone, you inspect his sleeve more closely, looking past the patterns inked into his skin.

What if…

What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, teasing.

And then you see it. The tell tale arc of a graceful swan’s neck, hidden beneath the colors of his tattoos.

Oh my god, Kook, I found it!” you gasp. His face screws up in confusion for the briefest moment, his adorable bunny nose scrunching as his mind finally catches up with yours. The surprise dawns on his face, like the brilliant morning sky as he finally realizes what you’ve said.

Seriously?! Where?!” He bolts up, jerking his arm this way and that, trying to see. You grab his arm, stilling his frantic movements, and turn his arm in a way so he can see.

It’s here,” you say, tracing the lines cleverly hidden in plain sight amongst the rest of his tattoos.

Neither of you say anything for several moments, both tracing the lines marking his skin, marking him as yours. Warmth blooms inside of you, the last bits of lingering doubts about your relationship dissolving into nothingness. The doubts about whether you actually were supposed to be his soulmate and that it wasn’t just some cosmic joke. The doubts about you being enough for him, about being enough for both of them.

You kiss the edges of his mark, relief settling into your bones as you settle into each other, laying back down. You let out a contented sigh.

I could kick myself right now,” Jungkook says, bringing you out of your warm, cozy mental space.

Why?

Because I could’ve saved us so much heartache!

What do you mean?” you laugh.

If I hadn’t gotten all these tattoos, then I would’ve seen when the mark was showing up. I feel like I could’ve prevented all this madness, somehow.” A twist of your stomach has you searching his face, but all you find is an easy smile, his face relaxed and peaceful. No way he really means that.

How?” you shoot back playfully. “How could your lack of tattoos prevent any of the things that have happened? I wasn’t aware tattoo ink had the power to make Sejin such a jerk.” You raise your eyebrow at him. “Wow. That’s some seriously impressive ink.

He laughs, but your words seem to trigger something. He stares too intently at the ceiling.

I know what you meant. But you’re wrong,” you soothe. “Sejin still would’ve hated me and still would’ve tried everything in his power to keep us apart. My absolute dumpster fire of an ex would still have dumpster-fired all over us eventually.

Jungkook clenches his jaw, still inspecting some invisible stain above you.

Kook-ah,” you say gently, tilting his chin toward you, “Ok, yeah, a lot of shit has happened to us.

Like you getting left behind in Jeju?” he says, jaw clenching.

Yes, but-

And the sasaengs!

Ok, come on-” You try your best to calm him down, but it seems to only fuel him, pushing him to his feet, pacing the floor.

And the media slander? The paparazzi following us everywhere?” He’s breathing heavily now. “That- that psycho taking you…” His voice breaks as he finally stills, resuming his staring contest with the ceiling.

You’d been so busy comforting Namjoon, that you’d completely missed how vulnerable Kook was. He tried to appear all tough and strong, liked to play his big emotions off as nothing, all the while suffering in silence. Now it was time to soothe your other soulmate.

I know, baby.” You move to stand with him, gently rubbing his back. “I know.

He arches out his back, delighting in the touch. For all ARMY’s memes about Yoongi being a cat, scratch Jungkook’s back, and he’ll transform from a muscle bunny into a lap cat in the blink of an eye.

You stand together, finding solace in touch. You don’t know what else you can say or do to comfort him, so you continue stroking his back. Eventually you can feel the tightness in his shoulders ease and you wrap your arms around his middle, resting your cheek on his broad, muscled back.

You know,” you say dryly. “You’re forgetting the biggest tragedy of all.

And what would that be?” he scoffs, turning in your arms to face you.

That you and Namjoon ruined the most gorgeous suit I’ve ever owned. My ass was a bonafide work of art in that thing. Seriously, I’ll never get over losing it to coffee stains.

Maybe your levity will get through to him. Therapy by sarcasm? That’s totally a thing, right?

You try to keep your face as straight as humanly possible. His own lips twitch, and you know you’ve won. You stop trying to hold your laughter back, and he’s soon joining you. The last bits of tension melt away and his face breaks into the most beautiful, brilliant smile.

Ok. How about I get a designer to make you a new one? Any one you want. Gucci? Chanel? How does that sound?” His laughter is medicinal.

Hmm, we’ll see.

You smile and bury yourself in his arms, nestling into his chest. His chin comes to rest on top of your head and he squeezes you tight. You take solace in one another for another peaceful moment until you say, “I think we should let Namjoon know about our discovery. He’d want to know, don’t you think?

You’re right.

I know,” you preen. “I’m right about many things. Men, suits… tattoos…

Alright, alright! I admit it! My tattoos did not cause this!” he shouts playfully, smiling, but under his breath adds, “But it contributed.” You roll your eyes at him.

Ok, you let him know. I need to go clean up.

You squeeze your legs together as you can feel Jungkook’s cum starting to slide out of you. He looks adorably confused for a moment, but then the realization dawns on him. He laughs and lets you go with a kiss that would melt glass.

Wishing the kiss hadn’t ended, you reluctantly head into the bathroom and instantly miss your bidet back at the dorm. Seriously, when will Americans jump on the bidet bandwagon? Choosing the next best option, you hop into the shower to get clean.

The hot water stings the cut on your neck at first, but the ache slowly dulls into nothing as you let the water wash over you. The heat coupled with the high pressure shower head lulls you into a stupor and you lose track of time. You could’ve been in there for three minutes or thirty, you’re not sure.

When you leave the bathroom in a cloud of steam, you’re greeted by the mouth watering sight of your soulmate, shirtless, lounging on the bed scrolling on his phone. He looks like a goddamn underwear commercial, effortlessly posed, peak boyfriend mode activated. You could probably go for another round tonight, right?

You’re about to strip naked and jump him, but both of your phones buzz. You reach for it and notice the group thread notification.

 

Namjoon: Just as an FYI, we are flying home tomorrow morning, bright and early. Bang PDnim says we have to get back to the tour asap, but after it’s over, we will be getting two weeks to ourselves for personal rest and relaxation. He thought it would be best to let the newly connected soulmates have time to themselves.

Jimin: Sounds good to me. Any of the soulmate-less want to go to Monte Carlo with me? Italy?

Tae: Can we bring guests?

Tae: Never mind. It’s better to ask forgiveness

Jin: That wouldn’t happen to be a certain self appointed manager would it?

Hobi: 😏

Tae: No comment

Jungkook: Hobi-hyung said the two of you were acting weird when you got back from the beach looking for Noona. Did something happen?

 

You gasp and your eyes lock with Jungkook’s. You join him on the bed.

What?! This is the first I’m hearing of this! What did he say?” you ask. Jungkook just shrugs. You set your phone down and watch the thread over Jungkook’s shoulder as more messages pour in.

 

Jin: Please don’t tell me you two were fooling around while you were supposed to be looking for Noona!

Tae: What?! Absolutely not! How heartless do you think we are?

Tae: It was after we got the text saying they’d found her

Namjoon: … Wow

Jimin: Smooth, Tae. Real smooth.

Tae: Ummm… I mean hypothetically

Yoongi: sure. whatever you say

 

You sit back, stunned. Sammie? And Tae? But how?! They hate each other?!

You pull your phone back out, shooting a text message to Sammie to clear up some confusion.

 

You: Spill

Sammie: Hello to you too?

You: SPILL!!

Sammie: Spill what? You’re gonna have to be more specific.

You: You!!!

You: And Tae????

Sammie: Oh…

Sammie: That

You: YES that!

Sammie: A lady never kisses and tells

You: So there was kissing involved! What else happened?

Sammie: Stuff

Sammie: And things.

Sammie: Stuff and things.

Sammie: THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING!!!

 

You shoot a text to Bridgette after a few moment’s silence from Sammie.

 

You: Did you know about Sammie and Tae?!

Bridgette: About them fucking in the lifeguard stand on the beach?

Bridgette: Yes, I did.

You: *hobi wow gif*

Bridgette: Yep

You: So how long has that been going on?

Bridgette: Far as I can tell, that was the first time. It’s unclear whether it’s continued or not.

Bridgette:  My guess is yes. But I’ve been a little *preoccupied* lately, so I haven’t been as observant

You: Oh my god!

You: That is… surprising.

Bridgette: Is it though? It’s your classic enemies to lovers trope.

 

You chuckle, putting your phone away as you get ready for bed. Jungkook taps your shoulder. “Noona, can Namjoon come back? He says he misses us and that he doesn’t want to listen to Tae talk about Sammie anymore.

You laugh even louder.

Of course he can come back. Tell him to hurry though. I miss him.

Notes:

I hope it was worth the wait. What did y'all think of the soul mark reveal? Clever, right? And who's living for the Tae-Mmie ship, because I am! 🤣 I had wanted to put a chapter right after all the shit hit the fan that highlighted their rendezvous, but it just didn't feel right at the time. So that will DEFINITELY be a one shot/post epilogue kind of thing.

I think there's one, maybe two chapters left now (famous last words, I know). I will probably write some smutty one shots though, for scene ideas I had, but didn't fit in as individual works but in this collection.

Thank you for your continued readership, it really means a lot to me. And thank you for going on this journey with me! I couldn't have done it without you! 💜 Borahae!