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the other side of heaven

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It was hardly the first time Jane had fought for her life. It wasn’t even the first time she’d struggled against a chokehold with the cold metal barrel of a gun digging into her side. But this time was different. This time Frankie’s life rode on her success.

Danny wanted a car, he wanted an out, but nobody would give it to him, and Jane was desperate, her skin on fire, her mind racing, and she screamed for the others to shoot him, shoot him, please just shoot him, but they wouldn’t risk her life like that. She didn’t care. She didn’t care about her life, this was about Frankie, and he was going to die if she didn’t do something, and Jane was not going to let her baby brother die. She couldn’t.

Her hand found the gun, and she gripped it tighter than she had ever held her own weapon, and she fought for control from Danny, but he was holding tight and goddammit, Frankie was running out of time!

Think fast, think fast, do something for fuck’s sake!

Jane shoved the gun towards her own abdomen, angling up, towards Danny’s heart. He could tell what she was doing, but she screamed, tears streaming down her face, and burned every muscle in her body to fight him, to take back control.

Danny’s grip faltered for a second, just one, and Jane shoved the gun as far into her own chest as she could and fired.

She felt Danny drop behind her, dead, and then she was falling too, her head hitting the cement with a thud. Distantly, as if through a tunnel, she could hear Maura screaming her name, and she saw her friend finally run in those impractical high heels she always wore.

She was vaguely aware of someone beside her, a hand on her face, on her chest, a familiar voice promising her that it was going to be okay and saying her name over and over again. Maura.

“M-Maur…” Jane struggled to speak, but the words felt thick and heavy in her throat, and her chest was blooming with pain, and she was fucking exhausted.

“No, no, Jane, don’t close your eyes,” Maura sobbed, begging, tears sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto Jane’s shirt like rain. “Please, Jane, please, you have to stay awake! Please!

So Jane fought to keep her eyes open, to keep looking at Maura, because she had asked her to, and there was nothing Jane wouldn’t do for her.

A warm hand, grabbing hers, squeezing tight.

She felt a whispered prayer, wet with Maura’s tears, kissing her shoulder blade. And she looked up into Maura’s blue eyes, beautiful, enchanting, everything she had ever wanted - and she knew she was with the person she loved.

She doubted Maura knew how Jane felt about her, but she decided it didn’t matter. She knew the truth, and as long as Maura was there with her, Jane knew she was going to be okay.