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Always You and I

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Law and Order: SVU and Law and Order: Organized Crime are both amazing shows and the characters do not belong to me, they both belong to Dick Wolf and to NBC. Established Elliot and Olivia Relationship.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

 

Fin sighed as he entered the Organized Crime squad room. His eyes immediately found Elliot sitting at his desk. This wasn’t going to be good.

 

“Elliot.” He called out.

 

Elliot’s gaze snapped to his, the paperwork he’d been filling out completely forgotten. His eyes dropped from Fin’s gaze to his blood-stained shirt. Fin saw the look of fear, of panic, pass over his face.

 

He abruptly stood, causing his chair to topple over, drawing the attention of others also in the room. Sargent Bell started to walk towards them.

 

“What happened to her?” Elliot demanded.

 

“She’s ok, but she is hurt. She got shot in the left shoulder, it caused her to fall down a few stairs, possible concussion, maybe a few broken ribs. “She asked me to come and tell you, she didn’t want you driving and worrying about her.”

 

“Damn Liv. How typical of her to worry bout me when she is the one hurt.” He said shaking his head. “Mercy?” he questioned looking to Fin.

 

“Yeah. I’m going to bring you to her.” Fin replied.

 

“Stabler go!” Bell said. “Please keep me in the loop on how she is doing.” She reached out and squeezed his arm.

 

Elliot nodded. He grabbed the chair he knocked over and placed it upright and reached for his suit jacket that fell on the floor when the chair toppled over.

 

“Noah is with your girls in Jersey right?” Fin asked.

 

“Yeah” Elliot replied. “They left early this morning.” He sighed and brought his hand up to his eyes.

 

“You ok man?” Fin asked with concern.

 

“Yeah, just… yeah I’m ok. Come on, I need to see for myself she’s gonna be ok.” This wasn’t how he was expecting this day to go at all.

 

“Tonight, was the night. Huh?” Fin asked as they hurried out to Fin’s car.

 

“Yes. That’s partly why Noah is with Maureen and Kathleen.” He replied. Despite Fin’s assurance she was ok, he couldn’t help but still feel the panic. “How’d this happen Fin?” Elliot asked waiting for Fin to unlock his car.

 

Fin unlocked the car and they both got in before he answered. “It was a domestic. Husband has been abusing the wife for a long time. He found out she was leaving with the kids, he got violent. Then said he wasn’t allowing anyone to leave. We showed up, we talked him down. Liv and I were inside, we had everything under control. Then ESU shows up, they were supposed to go in with us, but Captain Chambliss plays by his own rules, after telling us they weren’t gonna come, he shows up trying to play hero, and It went to shit. They busted in the door and husband started shooting. She took a hit to the shoulder and fell down the front steps.” Fin said shaking his head.

 

“Of course, it was fucking Chambliss!” Elliot growled clenching his fists. “He likes to fuck things up, doesn’t he?”

 

“You’ve had some run ins with him?” Fin asked. He started the car and pulled out of the garage. Flipping on his lights and siren to aid them in getting through the midday traffic.

 

“Yes. The day we arrested Wheatley, he bailed on us just as we were about to make our bust.” Elliot growled.

 

“Well, he and Liv have also had issues in the past. Not sure if you know, but the guy has been trying to get in her pants for years.” Fin said shaking his head.

“Well, now I hate him even more.” Elliot growled.

 

Fin laughed. “How did I know you were gonna say that? I’m gonna drop you off at Mercy, then I’ll come back and take care of your car and bring it to you, just give me your keys.” He said.

 

“Fin you don’t have to do that.” Elliot said.

 

“I do have to do it. Captain’s orders.” He replied with a shrug. “Phoebe is already in an Uber heading to meet me at Mercy then we’re coming right back here for your car.” Fin replied. “Liv wouldn’t let the EMTs take her until she made me promise.” He said with a chuckle.

 

Elliot shook his head. She had gotten shot and fallen down a flight of stairs and still thought of him first. He reached over and deposited his keys in the cupholder. “There’s my keys.”

 

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

“Detective Stabler? I’m Dr. Garrity.” The doctor approached Elliot as he was waiting at the nurse’s station in the emergency room.

 

He nodded. “How is she? Can I see her?” He anxiously asked

 

“Unfortunately, Captain Benson had a panic attack while we were assessing her in the trauma bay, and we had to sedate her. We warned her we would have to cut her clothes off due to the gunshot wound and she started to panic and tried to get up off the gurney.” Dr. Garrity said.

 

Elliot sighed, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. He already knew she was going to insist he take her home. “She has PTSD, from a past trauma. How bad was the gunshot wound? And her ankle was recently fractured prior is that ok? I’d like to see her now.” Elliot demanded. Instantly he didn’t like Dr. Garrity.

 

Dr. Garrity held up his hand. “Yes, I’m aware of the PTSD I saw it in her chart. The gunshot wound to her left shoulder was luckily just soft tissue, we debrided it, stitched it up and we have immobilized her arm in a sling, she does have a concussion with laceration on her left temple, but she does also have two rib fractures and some more cuts and scrapes. The ankle appears to be fine, we didn’t see anything on the xray. She is just through the doors in bay 3.” He said pointing towards a set of double doors. “Straight through and to the right.”

 

Elliot muttered a thanks before hurrying away. He pushed through the doors and turned to the right. Through the sliding glass door, he could see her laying on the gurney, her left arm secured in a sling. IV tubing protruding from the bend of her right elbow.

He slid the door open and walked in. He sighed, rubbing his hand across his face. This wasn’t how he expected the day to go. He was going to take her out to dinner, then at some point over the course of the night hopefully he’d be sliding the ring in his pocket onto her finger.

 

He stepped forward and wrapped his right hand around her right hand and gently caressed her face with his left hand.

 

She leaned into his hand; eyes still closed. “El?” She mumbles.

 

He leans down and kisses her forehead, and then her cheek. “I’m here Liv” He says.

 

Her eyes open, searching for his. “They wouldn’t let me wait for you.” She says groggily when her eyes finally settle on his.

 

His hand tightens around hers and his other hand moves to the side her face. His thumb caresses over her cheek bone. “I’m here now with you, I’m not going anywhere.” He said in a low soothing tone. “What do you mean they wouldn’t let you wait for me?

 

Something hanging from the bedrail catches his eye. He lets go of her hand and reaches for it. He recognizes it as soon as his hand grasps it. It’s a padded restraint. “Son of a bitch” he mutters letting it go.

 

He reached for her hand again. “Did they restrain you?”

 

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “They told me they’d have to cut my clothes off, and I said I wanted them to wait until you got here, and they said they couldn’t wait. When I saw… when they started to… They…. I just wanted you here before they did that.” She cried, tears now spilling down her cheeks.

 

He kept his hold on her right hand and reached and wiped the tears off her face with his left. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Liv. I know that must’ve been terrifying.”

 

“Don’t make me stay here. Please take me home with you. Don’t leave me here.” She sobbed. She let go of his hand and gripped at his arm trying to sit up. She gasped in pain when her movements hurt her shoulder and her ribs.

 

“Liv don’t try and get up.” He eased her back into her reclined position. “If you don’t want to stay here, then of course I’ll take you home, but for right now you need to lay back and relax.” He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear.

 

He was furious that they had restrained her. Of course, that had brought up her past trauma. The door opened and he turned his head to see a nurse come in. He felt her hand tighten around his.

 

“How’s the patient doing?” She asked. “Are you feeling any pain Olivia?”

 

Olivia shook her head and closed her eyes. Elliot knew she wasn’t being honest. She hated to show vulnerability to others, but she allowed herself to be vulnerable around him, that spoke volumes for how much she trusted him.

 

“Hmmmm” the nurse said looking at the monitors displaying her vital signs. “Your blood pressure is a little elevated and given you have no history of high blood pressure that is an indication of pain. You sure you’re not feeling pain?”

 

“She wants to go home. So, what do we have to do to get that ball rolling?” Elliot asked.

 

“We’ve admitted her.” The nurse replied. “She’ll be transferred to a room very soon.”

 

Olivia’s eyes popped open. “I’m not staying here.” She insisted. She turned her head towards Elliot. “I can’t stay here Elliot. I can’t!”

 

“Liv, it’s ok. I’m going to get this straightened out.” He said squeezing her hand.

 

The nurse shook her head. “You can’t speak for her though.” She replied. “Transport is on the way to bring her up to her room and she’ll be released tomorrow.”

 

“He can speak for me, he can always speak for me. He is my medical proxy, and I am not staying here.” Olivia demanded.

 

“She wants to leave. She will be better off at home with me than here. She appears stable, I can ensure she rests, and I can take care of her. Should anything change overnight I can bring her back if need be. My son is an EMT, and he is a resource I can also use if the need arises. Please inform Dr Garrity that she wishes to be discharged and will sign whatever paperwork is necessary, and if she isn’t considered to be competent because she was sedated and restrained, I can sign those papers.” Elliot looked at the nurse, his gaze conveying that they were not staying.

 

The nurse sighed before turning and leaving the room.

 

“I don’t have clothes to wear home now.” She said.

 

“Don’t worry about that. Fin went to get my car and I have some things we can put on you to get you home.” He said releasing her hand to adjust the hospital gown that had slightly slipped down.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said looking up at him.

 

“Why are you sorry?” He grasped her hand again.

 

“I just don’t want to be a bother.” She said squeezing her eyes shut and sighing.

 

“Baby if you get hurt, you’re not a bother to me.” He brought his free hand up to stroke her cheek. “I’m taking you home, we’re gonna get you something to eat, and get you into bed and I am going to take care of you, and I’m doing all of that because I want to, because I love you.”

EOEOEOEOEOEO

A little over an half an hour later, Elliot walked out the doors of the emergency room and he saw Fin leaning against his car.

 

“I told that punk” Fin gestured at the hospital security guard, a tall skinny guy in his early twenties. “If he gives you a hard time for parking here, he and I would have a problem” Fin said looking the security guard up and down. “He already tried to get loud with Phoebe, you know I wasn’t having that.” He shook his head. “He starts off saying we can’t go in because of COVID protocols then starts bitching about your car despite me parking it in the NYPD reserved spot. Guy thinks only unis are real cops.”

 

“I’m already fed up with this fucking place, looking to let my frustration out on someone and if he wants to try running his mouth, I’m down.” Elliot said shaking his head. “Fin they cut off her clothes, restrained her, and sedated her. She is signing out AMA.”

 

“Shit.” Fin said “I know that brought up some things for her.” He shook his head.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry to rush but I don’t want to leave her too long.” Elliot said apologetically.

 

“Oh no apologies needed. You take care of her and call me if you need anything. Make sure she doesn’t worry about work” Fin replied reaching into his pocket and retrieving Elliot’s car keys, and handing them to him. “Here’s her gun and holster.”

 

Elliot reached out and took her gun and tucked it into his suit jacket pocket. “Thanks for everything Fin.” Elliot watched as he turned to get into his own car. “Thanks Phoebe” He called out.

 

“Anytime, take care of her Elliot.” Phoebe yelled back.

 

Elliot turned and opened the back of his SUV. He reached for a duffle bag and unzipped it. He searched through it and grabbed a pair of sweatpants, he’d noted she still had a cami on so he reached for the grey zip up hoodie before zipping the bag back up.

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had her head leaned back against the pillow with her eyes closed.

 

The sound of the door sliding opening startled her and she opened her eyes. Dr. Garrity walked in.

 

“Ms. Benson, I urge you to stay overnight, then we will reevaluate you in the morning. How does that sound?” He asked with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

 

She shook her head. “I want to leave tonight” she replied. “Please bring me the discharge papers. I am leaving.” She was feeling frustrated and anxious, she couldn’t stay here. She needed to leave. Where was Elliot? What was taking him so long? She hated to appear weak and needy, but in the past few months Elliot had been extremely helpful with her panic attacks, he was able to bring her back from them quickly.

 

“I hear your upset about having been sedated….” He began

 

“Sedated and restrained.” Olivia replied angrily.

 

“It was necessary to assess your condition and begin your course of treatment.” He replied, his palms up in the air.

 

“It had already been established in the ambulance I wasn’t critical, if you had waited like I asked, I wouldn’t have had the panic attack.” Olivia responded defensively.

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

 

He could see Dr. Garrity in talking to Liv as he approached. He watched as her right hand darted up to her chest and pull the hospital gown up higher. Her eyes met his through the glass sliding door and he saw relief flood her features.

He slid the door opened and walked in and shifted his gaze to the doctor. “There a problem here?” Elliot asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Dr Garrity looked to Elliot. “No problems here, I was simply suggesting Ms. Benson stay the night….”

“Like I told you earlier, it’s Captain Benson. She wants to leave, so I suggest you get her discharge papers in order, and any prescriptions she may need.” He strode towards Olivia’s bed without breaking his gaze with the doctor. He grasped her hand and quickly looked at her, “You good?” he asked in a softer tone.

 

She nodded. “Now I am.” she replied.

 

Dr. Garrity cleared his throat. “I’ll get those papers and send a nurse into remove your IV.” He said before quickly exiting the room.

 

“I brought you some sweats from my bag in my car.” He said reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

 

“Thank you.” Olivia said with a small smile. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

 

Elliot sighed. “honestly I’m just glad you weren’t hurt worse.” He squeezed his eyes shut and brought his hand to his head. “When Fin came to get me, his shirt was covered in blood, I was so scared.”

 

“El, I’m not going to lie; I am in pain, I feel foggy and confused but I am ok. That’s why I made Fin go and get you. I didn’t want you rushing to get to me and thinking the worst.” She said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

 

“I still did. I still wanted to rush to get to you as soon as I could.”

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

She signed the discharge papers as the nurse described how she should alternate the dilauded with acetaminophen or ibuprofen. She wasn’t paying attention to her, but she knew Elliot was. She was in a considerate amount of pain and being in the hospital bed was making her anxiety spike. She winced and squeezed her eyes shut as she was hit with a jolt of pain from her shoulder.

 

“Liv?” Elliot worriedly questioned.

 

“Why don’t I get you a dose of some pain medication for the trip home? We can give it right in your IV before we remove it.

 

She nodded her head. “Thanks.” She replied. She looked to Elliot. “I’m ok.”

 

The nurse left the room and quickly returned with a dose of morphine, that she administered through the IV before removing it.

 

Elliot glanced and saw Dr. Garrity standing in the hallway typing on his phone. “Liv, I’ll be right back, I’m just stepping out for a minute.” He opened the sliding door and stepped into the hall. “Dr. Garrity?” He called.

 

Dr. Garrity spun around when he heard Elliot call his name. “Detective Stabler.” He replied.

 

“I was wondering if there was a possibility of getting the pain killers and antibiotics prescribed in a liquid form.” Elliot said.

 

“We can definitely prescribe the antibiotic in a liquid form but normally we do not prescribe opioid medications in a liquid form except for children or hospice patients.” He responded shaking his head. “When she fractured her ankle recently I saw in the chart she was prescribed painkillers in tablet form.”

 

“Captain Benson’s PTSD stems from being held captive some years ago, she was forced to swallow a multitude of painkillers and sleeping pills with vodka during her captivity. She tries to avoid any type of pills because of this. During this time, she was also restrained to a bed and her clothes were forcibly cut off, so this may give you an idea of why the liquid forms are necessary.” Elliot replied. He held his hands palms up as he spoke. “When she fractured her ankle she wasn’t restrained and sedated so it wasn’t a source of a trigger, and I can almost guarantee she likely didn’t open that bottle.”

 

Dr. Garrity stared at Elliot with his mouth hanging open in shock. “I had no idea her PTSD was due to…” he shook his head. “I’m terribly sorry, if I had known I could’ve handled things differently.”

 

Elliot raised his eyebrows. “That’s why she begged you to wait for me.” He replied.

 

“I’ll get those prescriptions ready for you. If she is currently on anti-anxiety medications or sleeping pills, she shouldn’t take those while taking the oxycodone.” Dr. Garrity said pulling his prescription pad out of his pocket.

 

“I will be taking care of her and helping her so I will likely be giving her the medications.” Elliot said. He watched as he filled out three sheets from the pad and tore them off.

 

Dr. Garrity tore the sheets off the pad and handed them to Elliot. “oxycodone for pain, gentamycin for antibiotic, and zofran to help with nausea.”

 

“Thank you. I really appreciate this, and she will as well.” Elliot said placing his hand on the doctor’s arm.

 

Dr. Garrity nodded. “You need to make sure she keeps the shoulder immobilized, in the sling at all times except for bathing. There’s no damage to her bicep yet, but not immobilizing the shoulder could potentially cause damage.”

 

“I’ve personally been there. I’ll make sure she keeps the sling on and doesn’t use the arm.” Elliot replied.

 

“Keep an eye out for signs of infection, fever, oozing and inflammation. Because of the fractures to her ribs, she shouldn’t lay flat, a reclined position would be ideal for sleeping with the ribs and shoulder injury.” Dr. Garrity said. “I’ll type up my recommendations as well as dosages for the medications, just give me about 15 minutes.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor.” Elliot said turning back towards Liv’s room. At least having the medications in liquid form would not be triggering for her.

 

He walked back through the door and closed it behind him. She was leaning back against the pillows with a sleepy grin on her face. “Hey, how you feeling?” He asked with a smirk.

 

“I’m feeling ok.” She replied with a smile of her own.

 

He reached up and stroked her cheek. “How bout I help get you dressed and take you home now?” he asked.

 

“I prefer when you get me undressed.” She replied with a giggle.

 

A smile spread across Elliot’s face. “Well Liv, I prefer that as well.” He said with a laugh.

Chapter Text

EOEOEOEOEOEO

“Thank you for taking me home.” She mumbled after he unbuckled her seatbelt.

 

He reached his hand out and caressed her check. “You don’t have to thank me; you’d do the same for me.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Let’s get you in now so you can rest, ok?”

 

She nodded her head and leaned back and closed her eyes.

 

“Dad.” A voice behind him called out. He turned to see his oldest son approaching him. “I heard the call come through on the radio, but I was already out on another call, then we had 3 more.”

 

“Hey Rich. Can you give me a hand?” He asked

 

“Of course, what do you need?” Richard replied. “Why has she been released? At the very least she should be staying overnight.”

 

Elliot handed him his keys. “Can you open the doors for me, and bring those bags in? Long story short, they sedated and restrained her in the emergency room, and she begged me not to leave her there.” He replied.

 

Richard grabbed the bags that Elliot pointed out and hurried up the front stairs to his father’s upper west side townhouse.

 

“Liv?” Elliot called out. His hand caressed her cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

 

“hmmmm?” She replied.

“I’m gonna carry you in, ok?” He said.

 

“I’m too heavy for you to carry me.” She groggily mumbled. “I can walk. You don’t need to carry my fat ass.”

 

Elliot chuckled. “No, you’re not fat. I’m certain I can handle it, and you most definitely cannot walk right now.”

 

“You sure?” she asked. Her eyes slipping shut. “I’m not as small as I used to be.” She warned.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Elliot said taking a step closer. “You’re also not as big you seem to think you are Olivia. Put your good arm around my neck.” He watched as she attempted to raise her injured arm. “Other arm Liv.” He said with chuckle.

 

With his help, she slid her right arm around his neck. He slid one under her knees and the other around her waist. He carefully lifted her out of the seat and used his leg to shut the door. “See? Light as a feather.”

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

 

“Dad, I premeasured out 8 syringes of the oxycodone, the antibiotic for tomorrow and Sunday, and 4 syringes of the zofran. Do you need anything else?” Richard asked.

 

“I think we’re good. Thank you.” Elliot clapped his son on the back. “I appreciate it.”

 

“No problem. Liv’s done a lot for all of us. It’s the least I can do.” He replied with a shrug. “Call me if you need anything. If I’m not out on a call, I can be here quickly. At least Noah is with Mo, Liz and Katie. This probably would scare the little guy.”

 

“Yes, although this isn’t how I planned this night to go, I am glad Noah is being taken care of so I can take care of her.” Elliot said.

 

“You should still ask her Dad. I’m sure she had an idea anyway.” Richard said with a shrug.

 

Elliot looked at his son in surprise. “What makes you say that?” he asked.

 

“That looks like a fresh manicure and a pedicure she is sporting. That’s what woman do so they can take pictures and post on Instagram.” Richard replied matter-of-factly.

 

“That’s normal for Liv. She gets a manicure and a pedicure every other week now, the pedicures has been helping with pain since she fractured her ankle, after the surgery she still has pain. There’s no way she knows. Besides, I only told you and Fin, the girls don’t know.” Elliot replied with a smug grin.

 

Richard grinned back. “I won’t say a word Dad. After she says yes, I will make sure Liz knows you told me first though.”

 

Elliot rolled his eyes. “You two will never stop competing with each other.” He replied shaking his head.

 

Richard laughed. “I gotta get going Dad. We’re bound to get a call soon.”

 

“Thanks again for your help.” He said as he walked him to the door.

 

“Remember, call me if you need anything. If she has to go back to the hospital, I can at least stay with her while she is being assessed and can make sure what happened before doesn’t happen. You should wake her in a little while, get her to eat something before the next dose of pain killers.” he said, serious expression on his face.

 

It always made Elliot’s heart fill with pride over how much his children loved Olivia. “I will. Thanks again, be safe out there.”

 

Richard nodded in reply and opened the door and quickly walked down the front steps. Elliot watched as he walked to the ambulance waiting with his partner inside. He continued to watch until his son got in the ambulance and drove away.

 

He walked into his bedroom. She was reclined back on several pillows, she was asleep, he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. He reached out and pulled the comforter up to her waist. He watches her, torn between letting her sleep and waking her up to get some food in her.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed next to her hip. He reached out and put his hand on her cheek. “Liv.” He said rubbing his thumb back and forth on her cheek.

 

She moved her cheek into his hand and her eyes fluttered open. She grimaced in pain and her right hand came up to her head. “oohhhh”

 

“I know baby, we’ll get you some more pain medication.” He moved his hand down to rest on her thigh.

She looked around; confusion evident in her gaze. She met his eyes. “You took me home.”

 

He nodded his head. “I told you I would.”

 

“I didn’t want to stay there. I don’t remember leaving or getting here.” She said.

 

“You were pretty out of it.” Elliot said.

 

“Was I difficult?” She asked. “After my ankle surgery when Fin and Phoebe helped bring me home, I was difficult and mean.”

 

He laughed. “You were not difficult. We need to get some food in you and give you some more painkillers.”

 

Olivia sighed. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to swallow a pill. I’m already….” She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away from him.

 

Elliot reached out with his hand and turned her face back. “Hey, Liv open your eyes, look at me” He waited for her to comply before continuing. He looked into her eyes. “Are you doing ok right now? You having flashbacks?”

 

“Not yet, but I think they’re coming. I feel like they’re looming over me, waiting for me to relax. I feel on edge and very anxious.” She said.

 

“I was thinking the pills might be a trigger for you. I hope you don’t think I over stepped, but I talked to the doctor and I asked him to prescribe your medications in liquid forms.” He waited, holding his breath, hoping she wouldn’t be upset.

 

“You did that for me?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “No one else would think to do that. You’re so good to me, no one takes care of me the way you do.” She thought back to her ankle surgery. Fin, Amanda, Phoebe, Kat, and Lucy were all very helpful, they made sure she had everything her and Noah needed, but no one thought to do that her.

He moved his hand from her chin to her cheek. He raised his other hand to wipe the tears from her face and he leaned closer and rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot closes his front door and locks it. Take out bag in his hand, he walks into the kitchen. He grabs a syringe of the pain medication, two bottles of water from the fridge, and two plates.

 

He walks back into his room. Olivia is sitting up higher in the bed now. While waiting for their food to come, he’d helped her change out of the sweats and into pajama pants and a tank top.

 

He put the bag down on the nightstand, and the plates and bottles of water down on the bed and sat next to her on his side of the bed. “How do you want to do this?” he asked. “Do you want me to do it or do you want to do it?”

 

He immediately winced after asking the question. “Shit Liv, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… Fuck.” He lowered his head shaking it. How could he ask her that? She was already feeling triggered enough.

 

She reached her right hand out and wrapped it around his arm. “It’s ok, really it’s ok. It didn’t bother me. You do it. I can’t raise my right arm that much my ribs are hurting. I trust you to do it El.”

 

He raised his head and turned his gaze towards her. “Are you sure?”

 

She nodded. “I’m sure that I want you to do it, and I’m sure that I trust you.” She squeezed his arm. “If it helps, I would only want you to do it right now, no one else, just you.”

 

“I just didn’t even think when I said….” He said. He let out a sigh and dropped his head again.

 

“It’s ok. I’m ok, really.” She said, squeezing his arm again. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

 

He nodded. Still feeling like a complete fool for his choice of words. He reached into his shirt pocket where he’d stuck the syringe of medication.

 

He reached for one of the bottles of water and moved closer to her. He held the syringe up to her mouth. She opened her mouth, and he squirted the contents of the syringe in to her mouth.

 

She swallowed the medication and grimaced. “That tastes awful, but so much better than struggling with a pill right now. Thank you.” She said reaching down and grabbing his hand.

 

He twisted the cap off the bottle of water and held it to her mouth. He carefully held the bottle and tilted it forward while she drank from it. He put the cap back on the bottle and put it next to her.

 

He reached down for her hand again, he ran his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. “Like I said before, you don’t have to thank me. You would do the same for me.”

 

She shook her head. “It’s more than that though. I feel safe with you, like nothing can touch me if I’m with you, even my own personal demons can’t hurt me. No one else takes care of me the way that you do. That’s why I wanted you with me at the hospital. You help me come back to the present when I panic and no one else can do that. You go above and beyond to make sure Noah and I have everything we need.” She said squeezing his hand.

 

“Hearing you say that it means so much to me. I would do anything for you and for Noah. I love him like he’s my own and along with my children you are my whole world.”

 

“And you know that you’re mine too, right?” She said looking over at him.

 

He released her hand and leaned in and kissed her. He pulled back and looked into her eyes and said “I got you dumplings.”

 

“You got me dumplings?” she asked with a smile

 

“And eggrolls, chicken fingers, and beef teriyaki.” He said with a smile of his own.

 

“You got all my favorites.” She said her smile getting bigger.

 

“Of course, I did.” He grinned.

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

A few hours later she was asleep again. Elliot gathered the plates and the leftovers from the takeout. He turned the bedside lamp off and left the tv on but muted.

He brought dishes out to the kitchen and put the leftovers in the refrigerator. He heard hs cell phone vibrating against the countertop. He wondered who it was, he and Liv had already facetimed Kathleen so she could say goodnight to Noah, and to update them on her injury as he was sure Rich likely told his sisters Liv had been hurt. He had to be sure to text message her beforehand telling her not to mention the ring.

 

He reached for his phone and saw that it was Bell. “Hello.” He said answering his phone.

 

“How is she doing?” Bell asked, concern in her voice.

 

“She’s doing ok. She got shot in the left shoulder, soft tissue only. A concussion and a few broken ribs. She’s hurting but I got her comfortable for right now. Got her back to my place a few hours ago.”

 

“Wait, they released her?” Bell asked with a shocked tone.

 

“Yeah.” Elliot said with a sigh. “Liv wanted me to take her home. They restrained and sedated her in the trauma bay, she didn’t handle it so well.”

 

“Shit, well, I’m glad to hear it isn’t more serious and you got her home with you.” She said.

 

“I need to be home to take care of her, so if anything comes up over the weekend, I can’t leave her.” Elliot said. “I told her I wouldn’t.”

 

“Listen that’s fine, I hate to do this now, but I need you to sign off on some paperwork you didn’t get to. Can I bring it by to you?” She asked. “I know it’s a bad time, but you know how Moennig is.”

 

“I get it.” He was starting to get frustrated. The paperwork he was filling out when Fin came to get him wasn’t important or critical to any case. “Come on Sarg, it’s after 9 now, on a Friday night of a holiday weekend. Can it wait until tomorrow? This honestly isn’t a good time, I really have my hands full here.”

 

“I’m sorry, I need it tonight. No way around it.” She said apologetically.

 

“I really hate to sound like an asshole, but you can come and I’ll sign the paperwork but I’m not leaving her for long. So, you need to hurry and get here because if Olivia needs me, she is my priority tonight. I honestly don’t understand the issue here. We both know Moennig won’t be back in the office until Tuesday. After all that shit from when I was under and what that almost cost me, I deserve a little leeway here.”

 

“Stabler, I agree with you. I’m your partner I got your back here.” She said.

 

Her words of apology did little to ease his annoyance. All he could think was back when he and Liv were partners she would’ve signed his name and wouldn’t have bothered him. He sighed. “Ayanna I’m not trying to be a prick, really I’m not.”

 

“Like I said, I get it. I’m also just outside your door so we can do this quick.” She replied.

 

“Ok, be right there.” Elliot said disconnecting the call. He quickly strode toward his front door and opened it. “Hey” he said when his eyes settled on Bell standing on his front steps.

 

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

 

<<< “Are you feeling sad? Thinking about someone you're never gonna see again? Mom, Dad, boyfriend? No, huh? Someone else someone who you would give anything to see just one more time. You're gonna cry his name out at some point. They always do.”

 

His hand shot out and forced her chin to the side, so she was looking at him. “No one is coming for you sweetheart. It’s just you and me. Time to have real good fun.”

 

She gasped out in pain as he pulled her face close to his. “Didn’t I tell you I would find us some place special?” She could smell the acrid of his breath and the cigarette smoke

 

She pulled away from him as best she could. Trying to put as much space between his face and hers. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “This is a dream. This is a dream. I will wake up. Elliot is here.”

 

Lewis reached out and gripped her chin hard yanking her face back to his. “Don’t pull away from me. This is as real as it gets sweetheart. This ain’t no dream. He is defiantly here, but what good is gonna do? How can he help you with a hole in his head?” He laughed and pointed towards the right side of the room.

 

It took her eyes a minute to focus on the still form of Elliot on the floor. Shock gripped her. No. It wasn’t true. This is a dream. This is. Trick. She shook her head. “No.” she said sternly. “No. No. That’s not real. This is a dream!” She said loudly.

 

Lewis laughed louder. “Well, it sure is real darlin. I put a bullet right through his head. Nobody’s coming for you.”

 

“This isn’t real. You’re not real. You’re not!” Olivia cried out shaking her head. “You’re dead.”

 

He threw his head back and laughed. “If I was fake, could I do this?” His hand came in to focus, he was holding a lit cigarette. As he laughed, he brought the lit cigarette down to her chest. “Now where were we?” >>>

Chapter Text

EOEOEOEOEOEO

“Ok, that’s all of them.” Elliot said as he opened the file folder and placed the stack of papers held in his hand inside.”

 

“Thank you for indulging me.” Bell said. “I really owe you one. Moennig isn’t too happy with me. I’ve been pushing back against his authority. I’m still not happy with Brewster being in OCCB.”

 

“It’s fine.” Elliot said shaking his head. “I’ll admit It was irritating. Olivia was hurt, she was shot. If I have an emergency and I say it’s not a good time It should be enough.” He said with annoyance. “but I get it.”

 

“Ok, I gotta head out.” Bell said putting her coat on and taking the file Elliot handed her. “Denise is already pissed off enough, I want to try and get home before she is in bed.”

 

Elliot nodded. “I’m sorry if it seems like I gave you a hard time.” He said as he walked her to the door.

 

“I understand Stabler. That’s your girl, you don’t have to explain it to me” Bell said reaching out and putting a hand on his arm. She opened the door and walked down the front steps. “Have a good night.”

 

“Night” Elliot responded with a wave before shutting and locking the door. He walked back into the kitchen to grab another syringe of the dilaudid. Olivia was due for another dose soon. He thought about calling Fin, he promised he would let him know how she was doing.

 

A terrified scream interrupted his thoughts. Elliot was already running towards his room. Olivia was thrashing around, crying and yelling. “No, no, no.” She yelled.

 

“Liv! Liv, you need to wake up. I’m right here.” He said loudly. He reached out to her and her right arm hit him in the temple.

 

“Olivia, you’re going to hurt yourself.” He called out. He reached out to her again. Wrapping his hand around her elbow. She swung her arm and hit him in the face. Her fist caught him just below his left eye. He was caught off guard and his vision blurred. When he opened his eyes he saw that she had woken up and she was looking at him with wide eyes. He saw that her breathing was rapid. She put her hand over her mouth and started to cry.

 

The loud sobs wracked her body. Elliot made it over to her in seconds. “Liv” He said as he knelt in front of her.

 

She looked at him. “Elliot……” She gasped out. She began to breath in and out faster. “El” she gasped again

 

Her arm wrapped tightly around his neck and she cried into his neck. He could feel her nails clawing at his back trying to get as close as she possibly could.

 

He knew she was in a full-blown panic attack. She was gasping trying and failing to say his name.

 

“Olivia” he said pulling her away from him and holding her by the shoulders. “I need you to listen to me. I need you to take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Just like this. I don’t want you to hurt your shoulder or your ribs” He said demonstrating to her what he wanted her to do.

 

She continued to gasp and cry. She grabbed for him again. Throwing herself back into his arms. “Elliot, please don’t leave me” She cried out immediately gasping out in pain.

 

“Liv, careful don’t hurt yourself. I’m right here. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe with me.” He pushed her back gently again so he could look at her. “I need you to listen to me. You know exactly what’s happening right now, and you know what you need to do. Just like we’ve done before ok? Slow deep breaths. Look at me, focus on my voice. Baby, Look at me.” He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. Her nightmares and flashbacks were always hard for him. He tried hard to do whatever was needed to get her through them. He knew from personal experiences how scary they were.

 

She locked eyes with him. She gripped at his shirt. “I can’t…. El… Please help me.” She gasped out.

 

“Ok, I’m here. Just keep listening to me. Slow deep breaths. In and out, in and out.” He said. Trying hard to keep his voice calm. He placed his fingers on the side of her neck feeling for her pulse. He could feel it rapid beneath his fingers. “Ok, you’re in control here. Slow deep breaths. That’s it, just like that.” He said when he saw that she was mimicking what he was doing. He held her by her good arm for a minute longer watching her breath.

 

She was drenched in sweat, and her hair was sticking to her face. He could see that her breathing had slowed. Her eyes met his. He could see them fill up with tears again. He gathered her into his arms carefully and pulled her close. “shhhhh” he soothed. “It’s ok, I am right here.” He kissed her temple.

 

“I’m so sorry I hit you. I am so sorry.” She cried into his shoulder.

 

“Liv, it’s ok. I’m fine.” He said rubbing circles on her back. “Let’s get you comfortable again, ok?”

 

She nodded. “I need to use the bathroom.” She said weakly.

 

“Ok.” Elliot said pulling away from her. “Do you need me to help you?” He watched an expression he couldn’t decipher pass over her face before she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head vehemently, a violent shiver shook her body. He narrowed his eyes, taking note of everything.

 

“No, I think I’ll be ok.” She said, her eyes still squeezed shut.

 

“Liv? Talk to me.” Elliot said softly.

 

“I hurt all over, I do need you to help me. It’s just my mind is playing tricks on me right now. It’s flashing back to places, things, to times I’d rather not go right now. I trust you; I trust you more than anyone. But I think that’s something I need to do myself.” Another shiver shook her body.

 

“Ok” Elliot said softly. “You know that I would help you with anything, right? It doesn’t matter what. I would help you with whatever you need.”

 

“I know El, I know.” She sighed and looked down. “When I was with… When he…” She looked up and briefly closed her eyes. When she opened them, he was watching her, worry showing in his eyes. “Lewis” she clenched her teeth after saying his name. “When I was…. When he… Shit.” She said. Her frustration showing with her inability to voice her thoughts.

Elliot watched as her eyes filled with tears again. He reached out and wiped away her tears and then moved to hold her right hand in both of hers. “You don’t have to explain it to me Liv.” He said looking into her eyes. He put it together in his head that she was thinking back to her time when she was held captive and had to use the bathroom.

 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you though, because I do. I trust you so much.” She sobbed.

 

“Liv let’s just get you to the bathroom. I know that you trust me, you tell me what you need me to do ok?” He carefully tried to extricate himself, moving her back cautiously. He got up from his spot on the bed and helped her move closer to the edge of the bed.

 

She reached out and grabbed his arm. “He would choose when I had bathroom breaks, and my hands were always cuffed behind me. So…..” She trailed off.

 

Elliot squeezed his eyes shut and brought his free hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Fuck.” He whispered. He looked down into her eyes, noting how tired they look. The warm shine that usually radiated from them absent.

 

She scooted closer to the edge of the bed and swung her legs over the side. She attempted to stand and gasped out in pain.

“Liv, easy.” He said. He put an arm around her waist and gently helped her stand. “Ok, now hold on to me. Go slow.” He carefully helped her make her way to the bathroom.

 

“Oh this wasn’t how I thought this night would go.” She groaned.

 

“Really? What were you anticipating?” He asked curiously.

 

“Being with you without any kids. Being able to eat adult food that isn’t shaped like smiley faces and dinosaurs. I wanted to drink at least a half bottle of wine and kiss you without any interruptions. I even went shopping in anticipation of our adult evening.” She said as they stopped in front of the bathroom door.

 

“Somewhat aligns with what I had planned.” Elliot said leaning forward to kiss her. He pushed the door open. “I’ll wait here for you. Hold on to the sink for support. Yell for me if you need help.” He closed the door and stepped away to wait for her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the velvet box from his pocket. He snapped the box open and looked at the ring inside. He didn’t know the first thing about jewelry, or even how to describe what the ring looked like. It was described as a twisted halo engagement ring, and when he set eyes on it he knew it was the one. He couldn’t explain why, but it just screamed ‘Olivia’ when he looked at it. He closed the box when he heard the toilet flush. He hurriedly stuffed the ring back into his pocket.

 

He heard the water turn on and then off. “El, can you help me?” She called out.

 

“I’m right here Liv.” He opened the door and saw her leaning against the wall in obvious pain. He could see the shorts were around her knees and her panties were pulled up but all twisted.

 

“I tried. It hurts too much, I’m sorry.” She gasped out. Her right arm braced across her abdomen and her left hung to her side in the sling. “This really sucks.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize.” He said shaking his head. “I do not mind helping you.” He reached forward and fixed her panties and pulled her shorts up.

 

“Yeah, but this isn’t what you signed up for.” She said, frustration evident in her tone.

 

“Hey, wouldn’t you do the same for me if I needed it?” He watched as she nodded in agreement and he reached out and cupped he cheek. “I love you. I’m not just here for the good times. I’m here for everything.” He said.

 

She stepped forward and wrapped her right arm around his waist and she tucked her face into his neck. “Thank you.” She said.

 

Elliot brought his arms up and carefully wrapped them around her. Trying to be mindful of her injured shoulder and her ribs. “You never have to thank me for loving you Liv.” He said. “You, know that I’m not going anywhere right?” He tried to reassure her as much as he could. Since they’ve been together he’s witnessed many of her nightmares and panic attacks and it hasn’t been the first time she begged him not to leave her.

She grasped at his t-shirt. “I know.” She sighed. “You were there in my dream.” She said “Lewis… he shot you.”

 

Elliot squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed circles on her back. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, for whatever you need. To help with anything, no matter what it is.”

 

“How come every time we have the opportunity to have a night without kids something happens to one of us or we have to work?” She said “Do we just have bad luck?”

 

“Well neither one of us has to work right now, so we will still get to be together.” He said.

 

“Yeah.” She said moving her hand up and down his back. “I just missed you this week. I hardly got to see you.”

 

“I missed you too.” He replied. They both had a busy week. Both of them had been called back in several times over the course of the week. Kathleen and Elliot’s mother both stepped up to care for Noah and Eli in their absence.

 

She attempted to burrow deeper into his embrace, forgetting about her shoulder and her ribs. She cried out in pain almost immediately.

 

Elliot stepped back from her carefully. “I think it’s time to get you back into bed. Maybe time for another dose of your painkillers. Lean on me again.” He said.

 

“Can’t.” She said through gritted teeth. “Fuck, it hurts.” A wave of dizziness quickly hit her, and she squeezed her eyes shut and swayed on her feet.

 

Elliot’s arms shot out to steady her. He quickly and carefully picked her up and brought her back to the bed. He gently laid her down, repositioning her pillows. “I’ll be right back.” He quickly made his way to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and grabbed another dose of dilaudid off the counter.

 

He went back into his bedroom to see her where he left her, her eyes squeezed shut and her right arm braced across her midsection. He sat next to her on the bed. “Here you go, open up.” He reached forward with the syringe.

 

She opened her mouth, and he squirted the syringe contents into her mouth. He quickly opened the water bottle and held it out to her. Holding it just like he did before as she drank. He reached down and pulled the comforter up to her waist and he scooted closer to her. He slipped his left arm carefully behind her back.
She leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. Her right arm reached across his body for his other hand. He grasps her hand in his and brings it up to lips kissing her knuckles.

 

“Noah is going to ask you to take him to pick out soccer cleats. He doesn’t think I will know which ones will be the right ones.” Her eyes moved to the muted tv. “Is this game 2 or game 3?”

 

“It’s game 3, they’re playing at Fenway Park.” He nodded towards the tv. Game 3 of the ALDS was playing muted in the background.

 

“Ahhhh Fenway. America’s most beloved ballpark.” She replied.

 

“Hey, since when are you a closeted Red Sox fan?’ He asked.

 

“I like all baseball. Except the Yankees. I don’t like the Yankees. They turned their stadium into the fucking apple store. My mother was a Yankees fan, I always cheered for the Mets just to piss her off.”

 

“I used to do the same to piss my father off.” He said with a laugh. “I’ll take Noah to get his cleats, that’s not a problem. I’m sure he’ll want the same ones that Eli has.”

 

“He loves you so much. He idolizes you. The way he looks at you.” She said squeezing his hand.

 

“I love him too. He’s such a good kid, got a great personality, his Mom’s sarcasm and wit, and he’s a hell of a dancer.” He said leaning down slightly to kiss her temple.

 

“He’s been having a hard time this week.” She said

 

“What’s going on?” He asked.

 

“In his dance class he’s been practicing for a show he has coming up, there’s an older boy that 13 or 14 that’s been picking on him, teasing him.” She said.

 

“What’s he teasing him about?” He asked unable to keep the defensive tone out of his voice. He already considered Noah his own. He wouldn’t put up with him getting bullied.
She sighed. “He didn’t tell me directly. He told Lucy. Lucy said as an ice breaker the instructor had them each talk about their parents. So, Noah told everyone he was adopted, and he doesn’t have a Dad, and he talked about you. He said that he doesn’t have a Dad but if he did have a Dad, he wished it would be you, so this older boy said he was probably making you up and that you didn’t exist. Noah got really upset and since then this boy has been picking on him.”

 

“I won’t tolerate him being bullied and picked on Liv. I’ll have Eli kick this boy’s ass. Eli will do it too.” Elliot said through gritted teeth.

 

“You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re getting so defensive and protective over Noah.” She said.

 

“Liv, I do know because that’s how I feel when you’re protective of my kids.” He took a deep breath. Maybe this was it. “So, how lucid are you right now?”

 

He felt her shift away from him. She looked at him, her brow lifted in question. “Well, I think I’m pretty lucid, you want to do a sobriety test on me?” She asked with a smile.

 

“Ha ha ha very funny Captain Benson.” He thought for a minute. “Ok, ummmm who has caught the most postseason games for a single team in his career?”

 

“Seriously? That’s how you gauge my lucidity?” She scoffed. “Jorge Posada.”

 

He laughed nervously. “Maybe I threw you an easy one.”

 

“You’re definitely not throwing strikes. What’s going on? Why do you need to check if I’m lucid?”

 

He carefully slipped his hand from behind her. “I had this all planned out, and it didn’t go according to my plans obviously. Now I’ve backed myself into a corner, and I’m feeling a little nervous. There’s a reason why all of sudden the girls wanted to take Noah and Eli to Jersey. A reason why I wanted to take you out tonight, and wine and dine you. I think I thought of everything except you getting hurt today.” He reached out to her and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it back behind her ear.

“Tell me what you had planned. Tell me all about it.” She squeezed his hand again.

 

“Ok.” He said. He let go of her hand and he got up off the bed and walked around to her side to sit by her hip, so he could look at her while he spoke. He nervously chewed on his bottom lip.

 

“Just tell me.” She looked at him intently.

Chapter Text

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia looked at Elliot. She could see how nervous he was. She had a feeling where this was going when he started talking about Noah. Truth be told, she had a feeling when Fin insisted she get her nails done on her lunch break, but she would let Elliot own this if it was what she thought.

 

“Tell me El.” She reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed.

 

He cleared his throat. “Well, I made reservations at the new Italian place up the street. They have a pretty impressive wine list, their carbonara was voted best of NYC, and I heard their tiramisu is legendary.’’

 

“So, you were going to get all dressed up for me?” She asked, a grin spreading over her face.

 

“I was,” He replied with a nod. “and you were getting all dressed up for me.”

 

“Mmmhmm” She pointed towards a zippered bag hanging on his closet door. “I even went shopping. Lucy brought it by when she dropped Noah off this morning.”

 

Elliot needing to take a moment to calm himself took it as an opportunity. He released he hand and got up from the bed. He walked over to the bag and slid the zipper down. He reached in and pulled the dress out. It was black sheath style dress that would’ve fallen midcalf, with a slit on the right side that likely would’ve gone to several inches above her knee. The top was sleeveless with two thin spaghetti straps, it dipped into a low v neckline that would’ve shown off her cleavage prominently. He whistled. “Very nice.” He said. He noted the shoes in the bottom of the bag, leopard print stilettos. “So, how would you have walked in these with that ankle?” He pointed towards her ankle.

She grinned and shrugged. “Who said they were for walking?”

He looked at her “Ok, Captain clearly you were planning on seducing me.” He wagged his finger at her.

“Oh, that was definitely the plan Detective.” She pointed back to the dress bag. “There’s more in there.” She smirked at him. “Think you’d like the accessories.”
He reached back into the bag and felt the small pink shopping bag with the Victoria’s Secret logo on it. He looked into the bag, reaching in he pulls out a handful of red satin and lace. “Damn.” He said. His eyes meeting hers as he walked back to the bed and sat next to her. “You know I would’ve been jealous son of a bitch to any man that looked at you too long in that dress right? Especially knowing you’d be wearing this underneath.” He waved the pink bag at her before putting it back into the dress bag and zipping it up. “I think this is going to stay here, in my closet for safe keeping.” He said turning to look at her with a full on Elliot Stabler shit eating grin.

 

“I know.” She said with a grin. “Maybe that was my plan all along. Keep it here, it was for you anyway.”

 

Grin still plastered to his face, he walked back to the bed and sat. “So according to my plans, We’d have gone to dinner, eaten the carbonara because it’s your favorite. Would’ve drank a bottle or two of cabernet. Then we’d have gotten the tiramisu to go and had it out in the garden with the prosecco I had chilling in the refrigerator.”

 

“Sounds nice.” She said. She held up her finger. “There’s just one thing that I disagree on.”

 

“Oh?” Elliot questioned.

 

“Everything sounds like it would’ve been amazing, but I doubt their carbonara would’ve measured up to yours.” She said with a shrug.

 

His eyebrows shot up and he smiled. “Really? You like my carbonara?”

 

She nodded. “You spoiled me the first time you made it for me. No other carbonara measures up to your carbonara.” She said looking intently into his eyes.

 

“So, you only want to eat my carbonara?” He asked leaning in closer to her.

 

“Yes, only yours. I don’t want anyone else’s carbonara.” She replied. She could feel his breath on her face.

 

“Well, If I had known that’s how you felt I would’ve made you carbonara instead.” He replied

 

“I’m pretty sure you already knew how much I love your carbonara.” Olivia said reaching her right hand out and placing it against his cheek. She ran her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone.

 

He leaned forward trying to keep as much of his weight off her as possible and kissed her. Both wanting to take their kiss further, but both knew her injuries prevented it.

 

“Sounds like we would’ve had a nice evening.” She said pulling back from him to look at his face. She saw that he was looking down, he seemed nervous, very nervous. “El, what is it? What’s wrong?”

 

He looked up at her. His blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “You know how much I love you right? You know how important you are to me? I love Noah like he is my own. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you Olivia..” He reached into his pocket and grasped the box in his hand.

 

Olivia watched as Elliot spoke. Her eyes filling with tears in response to his words. “Yes, El I know. I hope you know how much I love you too, and how important you are to me. I want nothing more than to spend my life with you too.” She said.

 

“So, let me make you carbonara whenever you want for the rest of your life. Let me wake up next to you every day, and fall asleep next to you every night.” He pulled his hand out of his pocked and opened the box and showed it to her. “Marry me Liv. I don’t just mean having Noah as my stepson, I want to adopt him, I want him to be my son.”

 

Her right hand flew to her mouth and she let out a gasp. Tears were now freely flowing down her face. She could see Elliot was crying as well. She took the hand from her mouth and reached for the back of his neck, pulling his head to hers, resting her forehead against his. “Yes. Of course I’ll marry you Elliot.”

 

Elliot reached up with his free hand and cupped her cheek. He pulled his head back so he could look at her face. He leaned closer and kissed her, slowly moving his lips over hers. Trying hard not to let the kiss get too heated. He knew if he didn’t he would get too caught up in the moment.
He pulled back to look into her eyes. He could see her brown eyes, glisten. Almost looking golden when the light caught them. He looked down to her left arm in the sling. He carefully pushed the sides of sling apart and pulled her hand out slightly. Just enough to get to her fingers. He plucked the ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger.

 

After we placed the ring on her finger he held her hand in his. Her fingers draped over his and he ran his thumb back and forth over the ring on her finger.

 

“You told Fin didn’t you?” She asked looking up at him, smile gracing her lips. “That’s why you felt backed into corner.”

 

Elliot laughed. “Well, I didn’t just tell Fin. I told all of the kids, my mother knows too. That’s how this weekend came into play. I’d been planning it for weeks. I tried to factor in everything, except one of us getting hurt. I was most worried about Noah and Kathleen spilling the beans to you on that facetime earlier.”

 

“You know if either of them did I still would’ve said yes.” She said reaching for his face again. This time she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. “You really want to adopt Noah?”

 

“Yes, I really do. I’ve talked to my kids about. They’re excited.” He said, his face breaking into a big smile.

 

“Did you say anything to him about it?” She asked.

 

Elliot shook his head. “No, I wanted to ask you first, and I thought you’d want to be involved.” He said.

 

“He’s going to be so excited. He needs this so much. It’s been difficult with him lately.” She said her eyes filling with tears again.

 

“Hey” He said reaching forward to wipe her tears away. “We’re in this together. Whatever life throws at us we navigate together.”

 

She reached forward to wrap her arm around him and gasped out in pain. “ahhhhhhh.”

 

“That dose didn’t really help with your pain huh? Want me to get another one? Directions say to give another dose if one doesn’t give relief.”

 

She nodded and shifted back in the bed slightly and cried out in pain again. “ahhhhh fuck this really sucks.”

 

“Easy.” Elliot said standing up. He helped her lean back against the pillows. “What hurts? You want some ice for your ribs?”

 

“It’s my shoulder. It burns and throbs.” She said squeezing her eyes shut.

 

“Getting shot sucks, doesn’t it? Let’s try putting a pillow under it.” He suggested. He walked to his closet grabbing an extra pillow. He walked back to her side and gently put it under her arm and elbow. He brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. “Just lay back, I’ll go get the other dose of medication.”

 

She watched as he left the room. A wave of emotion hit her. He was so good to her. He took such good care of her. She brought her hand up to her eyes to wipe at the tears that formed again.

 

Elliot walked back into the room with another dose of medication and came to her side. “Hey, this should help.” He soothed. “Open up.” He prodded.

 

She opened her mouth, and he squirted the medication in. He reached for the bottle of water and opened the cap holding it to her mouth so she could drink from it. She leaned back with her eyes closed. She will say for certain she didn’t expect the day to turn out like this at all.

 

She knew Elliot had planned a night out for them, but she didn’t think anything of it because since they’d been together, he insisted they have two planned and well thought out date nights a month and she let him be in charge and plan them and he hadn’t disappointed once. They been on a nice culinary journey of New York restaurant over the past few months.

 

Their nights out would always be just the two of them, and they always got dressed up and tried very hard to keep work talk out of their nights. Sometimes work did interfere though. They would be nights he’d be waiting for her at SVU or she’d be waiting for him at OC.

 

She felt the bed dip when he took his spot next to her. He hand immediately reaching for his. He laced their fingers together. He leaned towards her to kiss her temple. “Get some rest Liv.”

 

“Are you going to stay with me?” She asked.

 

“Not going anywhere.” Elliot said. He reached for the tv remote shutting it off.

 

“I’m sorry all your plans didn’t work out. You put a lot of effort into it, you always do for out nights out. You plan them a lot better than I would.” She said.

 

“Well, the plan that mattered worked out.” He said.

 

“I can’t kiss you the way I want to.” She said, her words slightly beginning to slur.

 

“That’s ok, we will make up for it.” He said bringing her hand up and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

 

“I like to kiss you though. I like it… I like it a lot.” Her words slurred even more

 

Elliot laughed next to her. “I’m glad you like it Liv. I really enjoy kissing you too.”

 

Her eyes were closed as she spoke. “I wanted to for such a long time, so I swore to myself after the first time you kissed me that I wouldn’t ever stop.”

 

“You can kiss me whenever you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You need to relax those ribs right now, rest your shoulder, and you still have a grade 1, possibly a grade 2 concussion. You sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up, I’ll be right next to you if you need anything. I;m not going anywhere.”

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

<<< Elliot was sitting at his desk finishing up the last of his paperwork. He wanted to get it all done. He had a big weekend planned. A smile graced his face as Olivia crossed his mind.

 

He looked up and the smile on his face immediately fell. Fin was walking towards him, a grim look on his face.

 

Elliot glanced down and saw that Fin’s white shirt was covered in blood.

 

Elliot shot to his feet. “Fin, what happened?” He demanded.

 

“El” Fin started. He shook his head and looked down at the floor. “Olivia was shot.”

 

“Where is she? Is she ok? What hospital?” He demanded

 

Fin shook his head. “Elliot she didn’t make it, she didn’t make it to the hospital.”

 

Elliot shook his head. “No. No. Tell me where she is. I have to get to her. Fin where is she?”

 

Fin reached out and put his hand on his shoulder. “Olivia died Elliot. I’m sorry.” >>>

EOEOEOEOEOEO

 

Olivia lay awake listening to Elliot breath as he slept. He lay on his left side facing her. His left arm under his pillow and his right hand holding her left hand.

 

She had a feeling Elliot was going to propose to her. It honestly hadn’t made it any less special, or surprising. It still caught her off guard even though she sort of figured it out when he was acting shy and nervous earlier.

 

He had been dropping hints about her and Noah moving in with him for the past month. It honestly made sense since they were pretty much always here anyway.

 

She had woken up a little while ago. Not from pain, but from thirst. She struggled for s few minutes before she was able to get her water bottle open but she managed without waking Elliot up.

 

Suddenly Elliot jerked upwards with a gasp. She quickly turned her head towards him. “El?”

 

He quickly shifted towards her, his eyes wide and wild darting around. She could tell he’d had a nightmare.

 

His hand found her face and he said. “you’re here, you’re ok.”

 

She could hear the urgency in his voice. “Yes. El, I’m here. I’m ok. Come here.” She patted her chest with her right hand.

 

He shifted and laid his head on her chest. She wrapped her right arm around him, putting her palm on his cheek. “I’m ok, I’m here.” She felt him slip his right arm under her pillows and his left reached out to grasp her fingers that were sticking out of the sling. She felt him rub his thumb over her ring finer several times.

 

She stretched her face down and kissed the top of his head. “Shhhhhh” she soothed. “Go back to sleep, I’m right here, I’m ok.”

 

Bad dreams, nightmares, were commonalities for both of them. They both quickly became accustomed to helping the other when they awoke with nightmares. Elliot was able to help her settle back down quickly after her nightmares and panic attacks. He was able to ground her quickly and bring her back to herself and she was able to do the same for his.

 

She continued to rub her thumb over his cheek bone well after she knew he’d fallen back to sleep. Her broken ribs were on the left side, so him laying on the right side her chest did not hurt. It comforted her to have him so close to her. All night she had wanted him to hold her, but he was too worried about hurting her. The weight of him on her chest, and his scent was relaxing. She could feel herself starting to drift back to sleep.

 

EOEOEOEOEOEO

When he opened his eyes, he felt her hand on his shoulder. Then he heard the slow, steady beat of her heart, and he felt the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out.

 

She must’ve felt him moving. Her hand moved from his shoulder to his cheek. “You ok?” She asked sleepily.

 

The nightmare he’d had came back to him. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, I’m ok. Am I hurting you?” He asked.

 

“No, you’re not hurting me. I’m ok.” She said.

 

Her hand moved down and grasped his shirt, holding it in her hand. “It’s ok, you’re keeping me warm.”

 

He laughed. “Well, I’m glad I serve a purpose”

 

“Yes, right now it’s to keep me warm” she said.

 

He started to move. “Are you cold I can get a…” He felt her hand move to his shoulder again holding him in place.

 

“No, I’m fine” she said, “just stay where you are”

 

“You sure I am not hurting you?” he asked

 

“No, you’re not hurting me.” she said softly. Her hand traveled down his arm lightly brushing over the tattoo on his forearm. Her hand continued to move down his arm. It was like he knew her hand was seeking his.

 

His hand intertwined with hers. He felt her squeezing his hand tightly. His weight against her was comforting. She felt safe and secure. She didn’t want to let him go. This is how she always felt with him.

 

“Do you need anything?” He asked. He was feeling guilty that he’d had a nightmare and she had to comfort him while he was supposed to be taking care of her.

 

“No, right now I just need you, right here, just like this.” She replied.

 

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the palm of her hand, before pressing her hand against his chest, over his heart.