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Bone

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“Actually Thorne is a very old, very respected English surname.” Thomas replied with an even more than usually proud tilt to his chin.  “My family goes back to a knight of Richard the Lionheart.”

“That’s nothing,” Humphrey’s head interjected from the table, “My family came over with William the Conqueror.”

Kitty clasped her hands together.

“Did they really?  How exciting.  So you’re French really, like Sophie was.”

Humphrey would have shrugged if he could but sadly his shoulders were currently who knew where so he gave a lift of his eyebrows instead.

“That’s how my family knew her family, distant relations, that was the way it was done in those days.  Bone is really an adaptation of Bonheur, it’s French for happiness.”

Kitty grinned more widely and said “oh how lovely” at exactly the same time as Julian snorted.  Everyone turned to look at him.

“BONER?  You come from a family of Boners?”

“I fail to see why that’s so…” Humphrey began but Julian hadn’t finished.

“Your name’s Hump Boner!”

“Julian!” The Captain rapped out. “That’s enough!  One’s name should never be a source of amusement, desist immediately.”  He turned and marched smartly out of the room but not before everyone had caught a glimpse of his suddenly high colour.  There was silence as they all stared at the part of the wall the Captain had phased through.

“I’ve never thought to ask,” Julian said contemplatively, “What is his name anyway?”