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she is the warmth (of my lonely heart)

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Snow continues to fall outside. The temperature's dropped well into the negatives, with no sign of improvement anytime soon. Kim catches a glimpse of the late November sky through the curtains - it looks more grey than black under the filter of the storm. Despite living here for the first twenty-four years of her life, she doesn't think she'll ever really get accustomed to Nebraska's bitter winter weather.

Jimmy lies still in her arms. Kim can’t tell if he’s asleep or not - his eyes are shut and his breathing has slowed, but every once in a while he'll shift his position slightly, pressing his body against hers or pulling the duvet tighter around his shoulders. 

She trails one finger along the waistband of his worn pajama pants. He lets out a little sigh; holds her hand against his bare skin; lets her wrap her arms tighter around his waist. She's struck by how small, how fragile he feels in her embrace, and it breaks her heart a little. She can feel every contour of his hipbones, every ridge and valley of his ribcage. 

Kim presses a line of soft kisses into his thinning hair, behind his ear, down his neck. The scent of cinnamon and sugar lingers on his skin, so strong she can almost taste it. "You still awake?"

"Mm-hmm." Jimmy's voice is muffled by the blankets. "Woke up a while ago. Couldn't get back to sleep."

"Anything I can do to help?"

Jimmy responds not with words, but with a gentle tug at Kim's hand, drawing it a little lower.

For a moment, Kim considers pulling back; distancing herself; suggesting that they just cuddle for a bit longer and maybe that'll help. It's not that she doesn't want this - in this moment, there are few things that she'd like more, if she's being honest with herself. Rather, she worries that Jimmy's not ready yet.

(She thinks back to that night when she'd shown up on his doorstop, just like she had promised all those years ago. He'd pulled her into his arms, invited her inside, brought her to his living room, and poured her a glass of cheap wine. She'd sat down on the couch and recounted the past several years of her life and listened carefully as he did the same. It wasn't 'til several hours later, when he'd led her to his bedroom and they'd undressed each other with shaky hands, that she truly began to understand the lonely reality of his situation. 

She could tell from the way he flinched at her touch that he was uncomfortable. She could tell from the way he touched her in response, so uncharacteristically hesitant, that he was trying to hide it.

She'd pulled away from him slowly, as if trying not to startle him with sudden movements. "We don't have to do this right now, if you don't want to," she'd said to him, looking for some way to provide comfort without touching him again. "We can just sleep. I'll take the couch, if that makes you more comfortable."

"I'm sorry," he'd told her, rolling onto his side so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye. "It's not you, I swear. This is just... more than I can handle right now, I think."

She had done her best to reassure him; told him that it was okay and he had nothing to be sorry for. Her efforts proved to be futile, though, and he had fallen asleep curled up in fetal position with tears staining his cheeks.)

Jimmy's voice breaks her train of thought.

"Please, Kim," he whispers, rolling over onto his back so he can look into her eyes. 

"Jimmy, are you sure this is..." She stumbles on her words, as if anything she says will only damage him further. "Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely." He nods, not breaking eye contact. "Will you make love to me?

Kim considers all the things she could say to him; all the excuses she could offer him.

At the same time, though, she wants to believe that this'll be okay. If Jimmy says he's ready for this level of intimacy again, then she sees no reason to deny him of it.

"Okay," she finally says, and pulls him in for a kiss. 

She shifts her position so she's lying on top of him. He's already half-hard beneath her, and he whimpers at the feeling of Kim's body pressed close against his. She responds with another kiss, softer and lighter this time. "You'll let me know if you want to stop, right? " 

"Mm-hmm. Of course." There's a sense of urgency in his response, as if even another second of waiting will be too much to handle.

Kim reaches down towards where their hips meet, freeing Jimmy's cock from his flannel pajama pants and giving it a couple of gentle strokes. With slow, careful movements, she pulls her loose cotton sleep shorts out of the way and slips it inside her. Jimmy lets out another little whimper, suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling of Kim's tight heat enveloping him. She gives Jimmy a moment to adjust before beginning to move her hips against his, still aware of his somewhat vulnerable state.

Even after all this time, there's a comfortable familiarity in the way his body responds to hers; in the way he nuzzles his face into her shoulder; in the way he sighs when she tangles her fingers in his hair. At times like these - when he's tired, or stressed, or in some other emotionally delicate place - Jimmy tends to be particularly affectionate in bed, always trying to snuggle up closer; always eager to cover Kim's bare skin in tender little kisses, and always appreciative when she returns the favor. Kim revels in his soft caresses; in his contented sighs and whispered words of praise - you're so beautiful, Kim, that feels so good. I could lie here with you forever. 

It doesn't take long for Jimmy to approach his climax. Kim increases her pace ever so slightly, moving just a little quicker as she guides Jimmy towards completion. He cries out as he comes, his words all blending together - please Kim don’t stop I’m so close keep going keep going oh fuckKimIloveyousomuchdon'tstopdon'tstopdon'tstop...

Kim follows only a moment later, the sound of Jimmy's pleasure echoing in her mind and pushing her over the edge.

They remain still for a moment, Kim savoring the feeling of Jimmy’s softening cock still nestled inside her. She presses another little kiss to his neck, right over the pulse point beneath his soft skin.

"Thank you," he whispers, so low it's almost inaudible. 

Kim reaches for his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, an unspoken you're welcome - I'm glad it was good for you - I'm glad I can still make you feel good.

After a moment, she shifts her position slightly, moving to lie on her side so she can pull Jimmy in for a soft hug. He melts into her chest, as if he's lost any sense of where his body ends and hers begins. A thin strip of moonlight illuminates his face - his eyes are shut, and his breathing has slowed down. He looks positively woozy with bliss.

Snow continues to fall outside, piling up on sidewalks and driveways. Wind whistles through sparse tree branches, punctuating an otherwise silent winter night. The sky remains dark and foggy.

Lying here in bed, with Jimmy snuggled up in her arms, Kim feels nothing but warmth and light.