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My [19F] stepbrother [20M] has been weirdly nice to me by pretending we’re not related on campus, but I might be overthinking.

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My [19F] stepbrother [20M] has been weirdly nice to me by pretending we’re not related on campus, but I might be overthinking. 

r/relationship_advice ∙ Posted by u/PassWord1234 3 weeks ago

Hi, I just managed to make a throwaway account for this post. It’s my second try, I don't really know how to use it, but my friend Emily (I can say Emily, though? There are tons of Emilys around the globe, it's not like I'm exposing her!) convinced me. Sorry for those who started to answer the other one, by the way.


This is a long effing story, so brace yourself. 


My stepbrother and I have a history of not getting along.


For context, my mom married his dad when we were both 15. And I’m not exaggerating when I say he made my life way more chaotic through our high school years, and at every opportunity, he got under my skin. From switching our tests, making me walk to school on a downpour day, gluing the sleeves of my uniform, publishing pieces of my dream diary in the school newspaper, to giving me stupid nicknames (and getting people to call me by these already said stupid nicknames). No surprise, we used to live like cats and dogs.


Looking back, I don't know how our parents’ household has remained standing all these years. 


Between holding the cool guy persona at school and ruining my life at home and at school, we went our separate paths after graduation.


He miraculously went to college. On the other hand, I followed my dream to become a professional dancer, and trust me, I had the best two years of my life. Until I didn’t anymore. I knew, deep down, I wouldn’t be happy putting aside my education. So, here I am. At the same college as my stepbrother.


As the title says...everything is weird. He's been nice to me (do you see the problem ahead?!). Even on past holidays, our dynamic had been untouched. The distance was never a thing between us when it comes to fighting. 


It started with him offering to take me to tour the campus at the beginning of the semester. Of course, I was prepared and alert. But it went… well. He dropped me off at the library by the end of it. Next, he remained not exactly friendly during those orientations days, being completely useless about my needs as I settled down, which, you know, was expected.


A week later, he invited me to a party he and his friends were throwing. I did not show up. And there was another. And another. On the fifth, I went to check it out. I’m human. And I’m a freshman, for goodness sake. I arrived late on purpose because whatever he was planning I was already throwing cold water on it. But he didn't approach me. Actually, he kind of ignored me, waving from a distance. And he didn't text me later about how I was making a fool of myself in front of this guy in an unknown band shirt either (because I was) (and it wasn't unknown, I really should have known the Guns’n’Roses logo).


All in all, he never introduces me as his stepsister to his friends, and I must let him know in advance when I'm planning to show up. It feels like I’m unwelcome, and he doesn't have pictures with me in his place--now, with our four other siblings, that’s another story.


At some point, I started going to his apartment to Facetime the family together. Subconsciously, I’ve ended up staying for dinner now and then. However, it's never when his roommates are home.


It does sound like he's ashamed of me. And in the meantime, he acts like someone with a guilty conscience, throwing me boxes of donuts (his favorites, not mine) and asking me about my classes and routine.


Or, possibly, he's up to something.


There's no pride in it, but I’ve started writing down every interaction we've been having in a notepad, trying to collect the pieces of this mystery.


It's a matter of time before it comes back and bites me. And if I know him well, (and I do know) (we’ve already pulled through this, right?), it's going to be a big of a bite. I may be feeling sick in anticipation.




Thoughts? (Am I doing this right??) 

Thank you for reading. 

Edit 1: No, he never received any punishment, or was coerced even, to stop pulling pranks when we used to live under the same roof. But it's fine, I promise.

Edit 2: Why's everyone wanting more details about our relationship? I already made it crystal clear in this post. And to reaffirm, I don't think he is or has been toxic in any way to me. Halfway through, I had some fun or even had my own revenge. So stop flooding links to blogs with red flags and narcissistic relations content. Thanks.

Edit 3: Please stop DMing me multiples vids of the washing machine event, parodies or not. And that includes keeping your fetish tastes to yourself, like asking me for personal pics and pics of his apartment laundry room in the name of flowing the imagination--no, not gonna happen, “MyPepperoniFart9111”!!

Edit 4: Please stop DMing me over the fact the reason for my annoyance is because we are completely obsessed with each other. I'm sorry if my feeling about my stepbrother's sudden change in behavior is sounding anything other than concern on your ears (eyes).

Edit 5: I am adamantly ignoring Game of Thrones gifs.

Edit 6: Please stop DMing me every state/country that allows step-siblings marriage or the contacts of lawyers--although wow, that's such a nice gesture I wouldn't expect from a place like this.

Edit 7: Thank you to everyone who responded with advice. It turns out that he was so confused all the time because I've moved two blocks away and he’s in love with me (???), and wasn’t planning to ruin my life after all. 

Edit 8: We did have a conversation about my concerns, and he said he’s not really into ruining my life. Not entirely. Well, not intentionally, for that matter. Either way, I think we’re dating now, and I’m just really happy to be with him. 😊

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