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I Want You to Know

Chapter Text


Late October 2021

Amanda’s Apartment - Tuesday Morning - 12a


Sonny used his spare key and, in an effort to not awaken Jesse and Billie, did his best to quietly enter into the apartment, where he found Amanda waiting for him on the living room couch.

“Hey.” Sonny said as he locked the door behind him. He then quickly kicked his shoes off and set his briefcase down by the door. “Sorry I ended up bein’ later than I said I would. Somethin’ came up at the office and—“

Amanda waved her hand and cut him off. “It’s fine. Come sit.”

Sonny set his keys down on the kitchen counter, made his way into the adjacent living room and sat down next to her.

“What did you want to talk about?” He asked curiously. “I’m guessin’ it’s important if it couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

Amanda nodded. “It is.” But remained quiet.

After sitting together for what felt like to him a long time in silence, an anxiously growing Sonny tried to suss out where her head was at and broke it. “D-did I do somethin’? Are you…tryin’ to break up—“

“No.” Amanda said interrupting. “There’s nothing you did and I’m not breaking up with you.”

A somewhat relieved looking Sonny gave her a small smile, but he was still concerned by the fact that she seemed extremely troubled by something that she clearly wanted to share with him, but was struggling to do so.

He placed his hand on her thigh and rubbed up and down. “Manda, what is it? Tell me.”

The blonde blinked back the tears that had started to well up in her eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m pregnant.” She whispered to him.

Sonny’s eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped. Amanda’s revelation had left him completely speechless and he sat there stunned for a long while before finally, very shakily asking, “Are y—you…s—sure?”

Amanda nodded her head slowly. “I took two at home tests and had a blood test. I’m definitely pregnant.”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “How far along?”

“8 weeks.” Amanda said as she bit her lip. “So two months.”

Sonny opened his eyes and stared blankly and silently straight ahead.

She sighed. “Dominick…”

Not quite sure what to say, she let her voice trail off.

After a few more minutes of silence passed, Sonny finally found his words.

“Having a child was somethin’ that…at this stage in my life I wasn’t sure would actually happen.” He said to her quietly. “Yet it is. Gettin’ to have a baby. To be with you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. And now it looks like the both of us might lose everything else in the process.”

Sonny stood up and began pacing around the living room. “We should’ve disclosed our relationship as soon as it started. But we didn’t. And now we’re ‘bout to have a baby together. How do we explain this?”

Amanda sighed. “I don’t know.”

“No one’s going to believe we had a one-night stand or we’ve only been together a little over two months.” He said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I noticed Anya and more recently a couple of others around the DA’s office have been lookin’ at us with these wondering eyes lately. For all we know someone out there might know for sure we’ve been a thing since Memorial Day and is just sittin’ back waiting for it all to blow up in our face like it is right now.”

He paused for a moment and then continued on.

“Even if it was thought to be only two months, two months is too long. In these past eight weeks, I’ve put you on the stand to testify twice on two separate cases you were a lead on. The perps in those cases I won will now have legitimate grounds to appeal their convictions.”

A frustrated Amanda threw her arms up in the air. “I tell you I’m having your baby and all you want to talk about is the 8th floor. Is work the only thing you care about!?”

She suddenly remembered the girls were asleep close by and quickly took in some deep breaths to try to regain her composure.

“Of course it’s not.” Sonny said quietly, but sternly, and in a slightly offended manner. “But how do you expect us to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table for us and three kids without the 8th floor and 1PP? Because there’s a very real possibility we could lose our jobs over this.”

He furrowed his brows and took a seat beside Amanda. “Not to mention these ramifications extend beyond us. We have victims who’s justice might be overturned because of what we did. McGrath has been putting Liv through the wringer these past few months and once this all comes to light things could get even worst for her. He’s not gonna believe she didn’t know.”

Amanda buried her face into her hands and the two sat together silently.

Eventually she lifted her head up, took in a deep breath and looked over at him. “With us being so short staffed at the precinct I really do need to tell Liv I’m pregnant. But…I don’t have to immediately come right out about the rest of it. We can take some more time to think about the best way to approach it.”

Sonny vehemently shook his head. “Absolutely not. You didn’t lie down alone and get yourself pregnant.”

Amanda sighed. “I’m not saying we never—“

“It’s not happening, Manda.” He said cutting her off. “I can see it now. Waitin’ a few months, turns to waitin’ til after the baby is born to who knows when. I’m not going to delay claiming our child. I don’t want him or her to ever think I was ashamed of them. Because I’m not.”

Sonny looked deeply into her eyes.

“When I told you this is all I ever I wanted, I meant it. Because while I regret how we went about handling this, I don’t regret pursuing this”— he gestured between them—“and even more importantly what’s become of this.” Sonny told her as he gently placed his hand on her stomach.

Amanda gave him a small smile as she rested her hand on top of his.

“But the lying through omission we’ve been doin’ has got to stop.” He whispered to her softly.

“You’re right. It does. No more secrets.”

Sonny took his free hand and caressed her cheek.

Amanda took in a deep breath and exhaled. “So tomorrow we…”

“Disclose.” He told her as he rested his forehead on hers. “All of it. And whatever the consequences are, we’ll face them. Together, ok?”

She closed her eyes and nodded.