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A Beginners Guide On How NOT to Stage A Pseudocide (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter Text

It was the adrenaline factor Louis longed for.

He wanted the feeling of red hot wildfires seeping through his veins, all the way to the very fingertips that danced around the cold metal of the trigger, or blade perhaps, of whatever obscene tool he'd use to perfect the deed. He'd wanted to hear the eloquent melody of throaty cries cracking from the mouth of a victim in peril, each settling his satisfaction by a miniscule, yet increasing percentage. The feeling of pure serendipity would be in the air the day he of course, flawlessly, executed the task.

It wasn't just that he was crazy homicidal and would kill every single man that came in sight to him. There was a connection, a certain pulsing tension between him, and whoever he desired for his next victim, though he'd never felt it strong enough to care completely. Maybe it was beauty, the fact he had a blood kink didn't help at all...he wasn't sure.

And even though no selected man was present, Louis was feeling the ragged angst ridden experience, and he felt stronger than ever. The feeling pulsed through his a lesser volume.

And Feeling the full satisfaction was needed.


"Louis! Louis!" Liam called from across the room. "You're at the drive thru!"

Louis was snapped out of his fantasy by Liam, then alarmingly, breaking the worst news of the morning. Louis loved his second job, he really did. He loved the blend of creamy espresso scents mixed with distinguishing caramel. He loved conversing with his friends Zayn and Liam under the backgrounds of steam, and tastes of doubleshots. He loved watching little kids smile at the sight of a cake pop or a frappuccino he'd decorated for them and made extra special. Although it was just a Starbucks, it felt like home more than the shitty apartment he escaped to every night.

The drive-thru however, was not something he loved, at all. In fact he referred to it as "The downfall of the entire Walnut Ln. Starbucks workforce" On a bad day, once.

For one, he didn't have the best customer service skills when it came to adults. Kids were no problem, most of the time he'd strike up conversation with one. He still occurred with the occasional 5 year old pesticide, in which he'd gladly add a pinch of salt to their drink, or worse. Listening to complicated orders through the crackly speaker system out of his one good ear, was almost the worst part of the day. He was one of their fastest and best baristas, and the fact he couldn't just take that job instead was slightly infuriating.

"Seriously? Can't Zayn just do it?" Louis asked in annoyance. "No Louis. You haven't had drive thru this week." He rolled his eyes. "Could we keep it that way?" He asked, putting the tamper beside the blender. Some new girl had the urge to rearrange his setup, which he liked to keep in order.
"No. We have a few customers already. Get up there." Louis guffawed, then placed the microphone in his ear, looking at the already piling up line of cars.

"What do you want?" He asked, bluntly to the car. Liam sighed from the other side of the room, pumping vanilla syrup in his sugar drenched drink. Seriously, the man liked a chai tea latte, with cinnamon dolce cold foam, caramel syrup, and a nice dump of frap roast to compliment.

"Be nicer than that Louis!" He called. Louis then decided to use his words sparingly, and stuck his middle finger up at Liam, a signature move of his.

"No employee treats me like that!" She fired back, some annoying accent ringing off her voice. Definitely not Yorkshire, Essex, or anything like that. Fire boiled in his veins, then he bit his lip.

"Just did. Now what do you want? You're holding up the line." Liam stomped his foot, while Zayn was laughing his head off on the other side of the room.

"Clarisse...What would you like?" She asked, through obvious gritted teeth to what sounded like her daughter. Louis enjoyed listening to these types of customers, and though he objected to it, the best part of working at any cafe was the eavesdropping. This woman seemed more like the annoying type of parent, he'd like to see her husband's relationship dynamics.

"Chocolate Frappuccino." Her daughter said, in a cute voice, the high one most 5 year olds had. He called it back to Liam and Zayn, then he nodded, and started mixing up the blend.

"Mocha frap, alright. Anything else?"

"You are not getting that! Too much sugar!" He rolled his eyes. Not one of those moms. They occupied the shop from time to time, those annoyances.

"Ma'am, we've already started preparing the order." He said, smirking. Yes, he was slightly sadistic on his own, but watching her brim with anger was slightly enthralling.

"Well put it back!" She yelled in anger. "How often do you do this? Filling these kids with sugar? You don't want these kids to kill their bodies with fats and grease, do you?" She shrieked.

"Technically I believe that all bodies are beautiful, but We'll have to proceed by giving you the drink ma'am. We charged it to your rewards card already. Would you like anything?"

"A sweet cream cold brew with 3 stevias." She said.

Hypocrites. Bugged the shit out of him.

"We will not be using this location again." She whispered. "Good." Louis mouthed. Liam stomped his foot in annoyance, then walked over, power oozing from every step he took. "Stop talking to them like that! You're scaring off customers for Christ's sake." He yanked the earbud out of Louis's ear.

"Don't assign him the drive thru again Liam! It'll make all our lives easier." Zayn said, speaking real, utter truth. It was true, it was Liam that insistently decided to stick him up in his least favorite part of the almost...entire world.

Even though they annoyed the shit out of him, these idiots were the only thing Louis revolved around.

He'd met Zayn freshman year of highschool at Julie Reffing's birthday party, the both of them scattered into the crowd of everyone from hopeless stoners sloppily munching cupcakes to the elite competitive dancers being forced to play striptease, when Zayn and Louis shared a puff of a cigar, and maybe shared a secret too many. Zayn had been there for Louis on countless occasions, and he'd been the only one besides Liam he had come out as pansexual to yet. Liam came in Junior year of college, in intro to novelism, after they'd been paired up for a partner writing project. They'd been learning to write perspective, and Louis's snarky writing style clashed perfectly with Liam's eloquent prose. They realized they also fit together in an abundance of ways, other than writing, and figured he was a good guy to keep around.

Louis loved them so astronomically much. In some hazy fantasy, he was the sun, Liam and Zayn were the planets keeping him in function. Zayn could always sit and listen to Louis when he needed it, Liam could always make him feel better. He'd never let anything get between the three of them. 7 years of friendship could as well...amount to forever.

"Can I have my earbud back?" Louis asked. Liam rolled his eyes, then his lips turned into a curve. "Fine. Don't do anything else stupid." He said putting extreme emphasis on the word don't. He inserted it below his lobe, then felt Zayn behind him.

Pissing off a customer wasn't always a bad thing.

Zayn handed him the frappuccino. Then he absentmindedly handed it to the little girl, a cute about 5 year old with a round nose and long plaits down her back.

"Frappuccino for Clarisse!" Louis said, smiling.

He'll be a really amazing father one day.

"I told you not to give her that!" Her mom said. "You contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic!" She said, unscrewing the lid.

And oh fucking no.

She grabbed the cup full of chocolatey deliciousness, then put every ounce of force into her arms, flinging it straight up at him, drenching his fluffy brown hair in the cold thick liquid. Zayn was cackling in the other side of the room as he whipped up some purpley concoction, probably from the dreaded secret menu.

Then she was off, and Louis found himself sinking to the floor in laughter, even though the lady had in fact driven off without her payment (Or his tip.) It was really hilarious, him and Zayn were walking around in mockery of the lady.

"Oh Clarisse! You may not eat that!" Zayn said, walking around giggling. "Oh no! Too much sugar!" Louis started laughing with him in unison, walking around with the goop mussed into his brown hair.

"You are never getting to work drive thru again!" Liam said. Louis smiled over his shoulder. "Fabulous!" He said, in a slightly dramaticized voice. "Now you're up at the counter!"

And working back up at the counter, away from that stupid crackling speaker, was something he'd easily settle for.

He pulled on his name tag, where he'd doodled Louis in wavy lettering, with stoner smiley faces peppering the spare room, then set in the smile that got customers happy. They'd get a slight glimpse of him as he mixed up their drinks and asked for a brief order. They wouldn't describe the joint as "Soulless, overpriced, and granola." like his mum had. He wasn't sure why granola got into the mix of terms, but it had, and her opinion still remained that he should get a real boring office job sucking the creativity out of his life.

But what 28 year old listens to his parents anyway? Where was the point or fun in that?

The familiar distinctive bell rings signaling a customer inside, telling Louis to stop doodling on one of the cups and snap back into barista mode. He smiled about half sincerely, until his jaw dropped at the tall man in front of him.

His hair was tousled into a messy and fluffy do, his eyes two pale green pools of light. He had a sexy, yet sweet smile, bringing comfort yet a slight intimidation to it. His fingers were lined with maybe one too many rings, something he'd never seen another boy wear, yet he seriously pulled off perfectly; along with blue and black nail polish. He had a simple style, clothed in khakis, a nike sweatshirt, a collared shirt underneath, with a chain necklace on his neck.

He was so beautiful, it felt illegal.

He turned away, trying to hide his awe for him, whatever his name was, then watched as both Zayn and Liam flocked up to the counter thinking partially the same thing, maybe about 15%

He wanted to see him, brash on the cold hardwood floors, with pools and pools of blood filling the cracks. That might just have been the slim reason it felt illegal.

Yet it sounded euphoric.

"What's up I'm Louis." He flipped his cup, then scribbled his name on it..and coyly added his number under it.

"What can I get you?" He smiled. . He was hot, and Zayn and Liam both were boy crazy. Louis was thinking of slipping his number on the side of his cup, but he was holding off on it for the moment.

He'd love to see..him... bloodied on the floor, as he made a scene of shrieks and cries. He'd hear jumbles of mercy in the form of pleas from his deep, or possibly high voice, as a blade was atop his throat... Silently threatening to pull down.

It was a sick thought, but it was irresistible.

"Could you do an iced oatmilk latte with a pump of Hazelnut and drizzle of caramel? And a pumpkin bread?" He nodded, then looked at him. He looked like a black coffee or espresso shot type, yet he preferred sugar. Quite an admirable trait, in Louis's book.

"Most definitely, That'll be $8.19." He smiled, then let out a muttered thank you. He started fishing through his wallet, then watched as he pulled out his credit card, something that was branded with American Express...and dark. God, it was heavier than it looked too.

Holy shit!

Of course it was a black card.

"I'll have that right out to you." He said, in a fast manner as he fumbled with the card in the chip reader. He handed it back, then as he walked to his table, scribbled his number on the cup.

"Holy shit, Louis!" Liam said, looking into his eyes. "Yeah, I might have gotten his number." Louis said, cutting him off. Liam shook his head. "It's goddamn Harry Styles! You'd bet he's dating." Louis cocked his head. "How do you know his name? Don't be stealing my future husband Liam."

He shot a glance their way, then let out a slight giggle as he pulled a laptop from his bag.

"He wrote every murder mystery we read in highschool! Do you not remember?" Zayn butted in.
The memories flooded back to Louis's head. Harry Styles wrote a plethora of mysteries, the only ones liable to catch Louis's interest enough to continue on throughout middle and highschool. He'd had very fond memories of curling up under the covers at night with only a flashlight and his book in hand, waiting for the gripping ending of the classic whodunit plot. It was weird, most mysteries seemed boring to him, the plot the same every time, yet Styles were so different. So raw, uncovered or anything like that. His characters were developed, the story in an idyllically formed plotline without holes or the patchiness some writing had.

"He looks about our age, though." He added.

"He wrote the books when he was a highschooler too."

Get into his head.

"Oh." He poured the ice in the cup, then added oatmilk to the halfway line.

It would cause such a stir though, a beloved writer's death. There would be so many headlines.

Louis slapped himself on the wrist to stop thinking, then added in the Hazelnut, and coated the sides of the cup with caramel syrup, a personal favorite of his.




Angrily, he poured the coffee in the cup, stopping himself from going further. He sealed the lid, then walked over to Harry, Still feeling rather dumbfounded. He held his coffee, then set it down on his table, then his eyes suddenly fixated on the word document in front of him where Harry typed.

A cry escaped Willa's lips as the cold metal flashed against the posh contrasting chandelier. It was hushed by Dorian's slight movements, causing her to curl up on the cold hard ground of the cellar. Fast breaths followed the noise, her heart racing out of the tiny chest of her deerlike figure.

"I promised you the world, If you promised to keep quiet," He said with a smirk on his lips, slowly fading with every breath she took. She looked up, mesmerized to see it turned to gritted teeth.

"But you didn't. And you'll never fucking make up for it."

Louis's heart was racing as he read through the document, the story causing emotion to fill his bones, until a deep voice snapped him out of it.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, reading over my shoulder like that?" The same voice that was up at the counter said. Louis set the coffee down quickly.

"I'm very sorry sir. I'm a huge fan of your work. I just zoned out, very sorry." He skidded off to the counter in embarrassment. He buried his head in his hands, then let out a groan, and banged his head against the wall.

"Really screwed that up for him." Liam said, mumbling under his breath

"Yeah, No shit."