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better in your arms

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it feels like yoongi has only just closed his eyes when he’s jolted awake by the distinct sounds of jungkook and jimin shouting. he groans and hides his face in his stuffie, annoyed to have been woken up from his nap so early.

he shifts to get comfortable again and tries to get back to sleep but then there’s high pitched giggling from the living room, heavy footsteps of someone running up and down the hall, and then his hyung’s voice, quieter than the others but still distinguishable from right outside yoongi’s door, telling them to settle down and be quiet.

yoongi feels his eyes prick with tears and he wraps his blanket around him tighter as he tries to drown out the noise but it doesn’t work. they shuffle back into the living room but yoongi can still hear them giggling and arguing with seokjin.

he whimpers and rolls onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow and trying to get comfortable but now that he’s awake he can’t get back to sleep. there’s another loud shout from someone—jungkook, he thinks—and yoongi is throwing the blankets off before he can stop to realise what he’s doing.

“shut up!” he yells, throwing the door open. he storms down the hall until he reaches the living room where he finds seokjin and jungkook arguing, his hyung’s hand on jungkook’s shoulder to hold him in place, and hoseok on the floor with a startled jimin in his lap.

he glares at them all as threateningly as he can—although, admittedly, he probably looks a lot less intimidating when he’s standing there in nothing but his underwear, one of namjoon’s oversized t-shirts that must be at least ten years old at this point, and the fuzzy blue socks that his hyung had put on him before taking him into his room for a nap.

“why can’t you all just be quiet?” he shouts, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

jimin hides behind hoseok, peeking out from behind his shoulder. “minnie sorry,” he says, eyes darting from yoongi to seokjin and back to yoongi. “didn’t mean to wake yoonie up.”

jungkook nods. “kookie sorry too.” he steps forward with his arms outstretched but yoongi is frustrated and upset and he doesn’t wanna be touched right now. he doesn’t mean to do it but he shoves jungkook away without thinking.

“no!” he cries. his eyes fill with tears and he crumbles. he’s so tired and he just wants to sleep.

“min yoongi,” seokjin warns, pulling jungkook to stand behind him, and yoongi’s heart aches at the sternness of his hyung’s gaze aimed at him. he steps back and closes his mouth, his eyes wide.

namjoon comes to jungkook’s side and takes his hand, leading him out of the room. yoongi watches them leave. he sees the guilt on jungkook’s face and wants to cry all over again. he didn’t mean to push him like that. he was just scared.

he looks back at seokjin, pleading. “hyung,” he says, his voice sounding so small even to him. he holds his arms out, wanting nothing more than for his hyung to hold him and make this all better, but seokjin shakes his head and points a finger down the hallway.

“go to your room,” he says, sounding more disappointed than anything. he doesn’t yell—he never yells at them, especially not yoongi—but the eerie calmness in his tone is almost worse. “i’ll be in there in a moment.”

and yoongi doesn’t understand why his hyung is getting upset with him. he wasn’t the one making all of the noise and being disruptive. they woke him up and now yoongi is being punished for getting upset over it. that’s not fair.

“no,” he says, his chest rising and falling heavily as tears begin to roll down his cheeks. “no, hyung, i want—“

“yoongi,” seokjin says, his face scarily blank. “what did i just say?”

“i don’t want to!” yoongi cries, he stomps over to the couch and throws himself down on it, rolling into a ball on his side with his back to everyone. he can’t look at them right now.

“hyung, what’s going— oh… sorry.”

it’s taehyung’s voice this time and yoongi whimpers again, crying into his hands to muffle the noise. there’s a hushed conversation around him but he can’t hear anything over his own cries and the ringing in his ears. he hears seokjin’s voice though and he whimpers, wanting so badly for his hyung to come over and tell him that he’s okay, but when he tries to listen he hears multiple sets of footsteps leave the room and he’s left all alone.

it only makes him cry harder and he wraps his arms around himself as he shakes, but then a hand is placed on his back and he flinches.

“hyung…” taehyung’s deep voice sounds from behind him, his hand rubbing yoongi’s back up and down. “you’re okay. can you roll over for me?”

he shakes his head. “no,” he hiccups. “don’t wanna.”

“that’s alright,” taehyung whispers, hand moving to yoongi’s side. “i’ll be back in a second, okay?”

he shifts to stand but yoongi whimpers, rolling over and grabbing onto him to stop him from leaving. he doesn’t wanna be alone. he doesn’t want taehyung to leave him.

“hey, shhh.” taehyung pauses, letting yoongi cling to him. “i promise i’ll be quick. gonna go get your stuffie, okay? i’ll come straight back.”

yoongi loosens his grip but doesn’t let go, torn between letting taehyung leave so he can have his stuffie in his arms or making him stay so he doesn’t have to be left all alone.

“it’s alright,” taehyung whispers, smiling softly down at him. “puppy will make it all better, yeah?”

yoongi flushes at how taehyung is talking to him but he can’t help the way it makes him feel all warm inside, instantly relaxing him. and being able to hold his stuffie does sound nice. he nods and reluctantly lets go. “quick?”

taehyung nods before brushing the hair out of yoongi’s face. “promise, baby.”

yoongi releases a shaky breath and slowly sits up. “okay,” he says, and taehyung gives him another smile before standing and disappearing out of the room.

yoongi brings his knees to his chest and stares at the doorway, waiting for taehyung to come back and hoping he stays true to his word of being fast. he wipes at the tears still clinging to his lashes and feels his lip begin to tremble again.

he shouldn’t have pushed jungkook. he was just feeling so overwhelmed with everyone’s eyes on him and he reacted without thinking. now jungkook is mad at him and seokjin is disappointed.

taehyung comes back into the room holding his stuffed puppy just as he begins to cry again. he’s immediately kneeling in front of yoongi, handing him his stuffie and placing his hands on yoongi’s knees.

“what’s wrong, hyungie?”

yoongi can only whimper and hold his stuffie close to his chest. he shakes his head, unable to speak.

taehyung brushes his thumbs over yoongi’s bare skin. “you’re okay,” he soothes, his deep voice turning yoongi’s insides to mush. “better now?”

yoongi hiccups and gives a small nod, hugging his stuffie as tight as he can.

“that’s good, hyung.” the couch dips as taehyung sits down beside him, rubbing yoongi’s back up and down in a comforting rhythm but making sure to give him enough space. “we’ll just sit here for a little bit, okay?”

the hand on yoongi’s back moves upwards until taehyung is running his fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp as yoongi continues to cry to his stuffie. he’s not sure how long they sit there before he wipes his cheeks and looks up at taehyung, holding his free hand out.

and taehyung doesn’t hesitate before he’s shifting closer and pulling yoongi sideways onto his lap. yoongi rests his head down on taehyung’s shoulder and closes his eyes. he can’t seem to stop the tears that keep falling but he’s a lot more relaxed now that he’s in taehyung’s arms.

yoongi only lifts his head when he hears a door open and close down the hall, and he looks up to see namjoon coming back into the living room, sitting down on the floor in front of them.

“hey, baby,” namjoon whispers, and it’s all it takes for yoongi to hold his arms out, his stuffie rolling off his lap and falling to the floor as he leans forward, tipping over into namjoon’s lap. namjoon takes yoongi into his arms with a soft ‘oof’ and begins rocking him gently as yoongi cries into his shoulder.

“it’s okay,” namjoon whispers to him.

yoongi sniffles. “i’m sorry,” he whimpers, hiding his face in the crook of namjoon’s neck. “didn’t mean it.”

“i know you didn’t,” namjoon’s voice murmurs against his hair. “no one’s mad at you. it’s okay.”

yoongi hiccups. “made jinnie-hyung upset and pushed kookie,” he says, hugging namjoon tighter.

“you can say sorry later, okay? let’s just relax right now.” he lifts yoongi from the floor and sits them both down on the couch. taehyung grabs his stuffie from the floor and hands it to him before cuddling into yoongi from behind.

yoongi holds his puppy to his chin, head resting back down on namjoon’s shoulder. he falls asleep like that only moments later, encased in both namjoon and taehyung’s arms, safe and warm.

he wakes in the same position sometime later to the feeling of someone carding their fingers through his hair. he snuggles closer to namjoon and hums, comfortably wrapped up in his arms.

“yoongi-yah.”

yoongi’s breath hitches when he realises that the person playing with his hair is seokjin. he looks up and his eyes immediately fill with tears when he sees that seokjin has taken taehyung’s place on the couch beside them. he hides his face back against namjoon’s neck and clings to him.

“baby, look at hyung,” seokjin says, his hand moving down to the nape of yoongi’s neck and massaging it softly. 

yoongi shakes his head. “no,” he mumbles, pressing himself closer to namjoon.

“baby.” namjoon tries to pry his hands away but yoongi can be strong when he wants to be and he holds onto namjoon with a vice-like grip. “it’s okay. come on, you can let go.”

he sniffles and shakes his head. “i don’t wanna.”

namjoon sighs and a moment later yoongi is being lifted in the air. he yelps and tightens his grip on namjoon but then he’s being placed on his hyung’s lap. he tries to hold on but namjoon is still stronger than him, and he’s leaving the room before yoongi can stop him.

he tenses when seokjin puts his hands on his waist, moving him to sit across his lap in a more comfortable position.

“no,” he whimpers, struggling to get away, but then seokjin is pulling him against his chest and yoongi doesn’t put up much of a fight when his hyung kisses his forehead and guides his head down to rest on his shoulder.

“it’s okay, baby,” seokjin whispers, gently rocking him as best as he can in the position they’re in. “what’s gotten you so worked up?”

and as much as he wants to fight it, to be stubborn and difficult, he lets himself be held and comforted by his hyung coddling him. it’s something he knows he needs to work on—to be vulnerable and allow the others to take care of him—but it doesn’t come naturally to him like it does for jimin and jungkook.

he thinks though, just for today, that it doesn’t matter. he’s too tired and comfortable to care about what anyone else thinks. he likes being cuddled and taken care of, and that’s okay. seokjin would tell him that if it makes him happy and feel safe then he’s allowed to let himself enjoy it.

and he trusts his hyung.

“don’t want you to be upset with me,” he mumbles, wrapping his arms around seokjin’s neck.

seokjin hums. “i’m not upset with you, yoongi-yah,” he says, rubbing a hand up and down yoongi’s back. “you were feeling a bit overwhelmed, yeah?”

yoongi nods his head and sniffles. “i’m sorry.”

“i know, baby.” seokjin pulls away just enough to be able to look at him, and yoongi feels his cheeks flush at the softness of his gaze. “but it’s not okay to lash out at people like you did with kookie.”

yoongi’s vision blurs with tears and he bites his lip to keep it from trembling.

“i’ll tell you what we’re gonna do now, okay?” he waits for yoongi to nod before continuing. “we’re gonna go and find the others and you’re gonna apologise to them for shouting, and then you and i are gonna go lay down and talk about what happened. does that sound okay?”

yoongi sniffles and wipes his cheeks. “okay, hyung.”

“good.” seokjin smiles and shifts yoongi off his lap, standing from the couch and holding his arms out. “want hyung to carry you?”

yoongi looks down to hide the blush on his cheeks and shakes his head before reaching for seokjin’s hand instead and letting himself be pulled to his feet.

“okay, baby.” he brushes yoongi’s hair back with his free hand. “you alright?”

yoongi nods and lets seokjin lead him down the hall towards the bedrooms, clinging onto his hyung’s hand probably a little too hard but seokjin doesn’t say anything about it or make him let go.

seokjin knocks on jimin’s door first. “hoseok-ah, can you and jiminie come to jungkookie’s room for a minute?”

there’s a muffled agreement from the other side and then seokjin is leading yoongi into the youngest’s bedroom where taehyung and namjoon are laying up against the headboard, a worried looking jungkook between them.

he pauses by the door, not quite sure if he’s ready to face them yet, but seokjin squeezes his hand. “it’s alright,” he whispers. “let’s go sit down.”

he nods and stares down at the floor as seokjin pulls him further into the room to sit at the end of the bed. he follows after his hyung and doesn’t let go of his arm as jimin and hoseok enter the room, sitting down on the floor beside the bed to look up at him.

“it’s alright, hyung,” he hears taehyung say but he doesn’t look up. he hides his face against seokjin’s shoulder and hugs his arm.

“yoongi-yah,” seokjin says from beside him, nudging him gently. “is there something you wanna say?”

he looks up and meets seokjin’s eyes and finds them full of so much love and understanding that it makes him wanna start crying all over again. he nods, loosening his grip on his hyung.

“um…” he wrings his hands in his lap and stares at the space on the bed between them. “i’m- i’m sorry for yelling earlier,” he says, his cheeks flushing more as he finally glances up at jungkook, “and i’m sorry for pushing you. i don’t know why i did it.”

jungkook sits up and shifts closer. “it’s okay, hyung.” his eyes are wide and earnest, and yoongi has to look away. “i’m sorry too. i shouldn’t have tried to touch you when you didn’t want it. and i’m sorry for being too loud and making you upset.”

“minnie too,” jimin says from the floor, and yoongi looks down to see him getting to his knees to be closer to him. he reaches for yoongi and yoongi holds onto him. “was loud and woke yoonie up. minnie sorry.”

“it’s okay,” yoongi whispers, at a bit of a loss for words. he’s starting to get overwhelmed with everyone’s eyes on him again and he doesn’t really want to be in here anymore.

hoseok comes to his rescue by pulling jimin back and standing with him in his arms. “good boy for saying sorry,” he says. “you wanna come help hoseokie make dinner?”

jimin giggles and nods his head, letting hoseok take him from the room. taehyung jumps up from the bed. “i’ll help!” he shouts, tripping over his feet as he runs out after them.

“do you feel any better now, hyung?”

yoongi looks back at namjoon and nods. “yeah,” he whispers, and it’s not a whole lie. he does feel a lot better after apologising but now he’s feeling anxious and overwhelmed by everything that’s happened.

they notice though—they always do—and namjoon climbs off the bed without making yoongi say anything else, holding his hand out for jungkook to take. “we should go see if hoseok-ah needs any more help,” he says, and yoongi sends him a look of silent gratitude for giving him an out.

jungkook takes the hand offered to him but looks back at seokjin. “okay?” he asks in a small voice.

seokjin smiles and rubs his arm. “yeah, everything’s okay now, baby. go with joon-ah and maybe you can choose a movie for everyone to watch later, yeah?”

jungkook nods with a grin. “okay, hyungie. are you coming?”

seokjin’s hand finds yoongi’s. “we’ll come out in a bit, kookie. hyung needs to spend a bit of time with yoongi first.”

“okay,” jungkook says without any more explanation, and yoongi watches as he leaves the room with namjoon. he turns back to find his hyung already watching him, a soft smile on his face.

“let’s go lay down in hyung’s bed,” he says, and yoongi doesn’t have time to reply before seokjin is lifting him into his arms. he yelps at the sudden movement but relaxes in his hyung’s hold, instinctively wrapping his legs around seokjin’s waist and letting his head drop to his shoulder.

he’s placed down on seokjin’s bed and a whine escapes him when seokjin pulls away, but then he’s climbing in beside yoongi and fixing the pillows for them to comfortably lay back. yoongi curls up to seokjin’s side and shakily exhales, closing his eyes and enjoying the moment of silence.

he wishes it could be like this more often, just him alone with his hyung doing nothing but relaxing in silence together, but they don’t often get the chance and yoongi doesn’t know how to ask for it when they do.

“you wanna tell hyung what happened?”

yoongi shrugs and cuddles closer to him. he doesn’t want to talk; he just wants his hyung to hug him and not let go.

“baby…”

“i don’t know,” he says, clinging to seokjin’s arm. “just got overwhelmed.”

seokjin hums and rolls onto his side to be closer to yoongi. “and what do we do when we’re overwhelmed?”

yoongi hides his face, mumbling under his breath.

“what was that, baby?”

he huffs but doesn’t move. “tell hyung,” he says, and a moment later there’s a kiss pressed to his temple.

“that’s right, baby,” seokjin murmurs. “do you think maybe next time you get upset like this you could try coming to hyung first instead of shouting?”

and when seokjin puts it like that, yoongi can’t help but feel a wave of embarrassment hit him. it sounds so simple coming from seokjin. why isn’t it simple for him? why is it that everyone else seems to be able to figure these things out themselves but he can’t?

he nods, feeling his lip begin to tremble again. “i’ll try. i’m sorry, hyungie.”

“shhh.” seokjin runs his fingers through yoongi’s hair. “it’s okay. hyung’s not upset with you. this is why we talk about these things, yeah? so we can work on better ways of dealing with our emotions. right, baby?”

yoongi snuggles closer to seokjin’s chest and hums. “i’ll try.”

“thank you, yoongi-yah.” seokjin kisses his forehead. “you wanna watch something until dinner’s ready?”

“um…” yoongi pauses, his lips quirking up before he can stop himself. “can we nap?”

seokjin pulls back to smile down at him. “baby, you’ve already had two naps today. if you sleep any more now you won’t be able to fall asleep later, will you?”

yoongi pouts because he knows his hyung can’t say no to it. “but i got woken up the first time,” he whines. “wanna nap with hyungie.”

seokjin sighs and lays back down, pulling yoongi closer. “you’re unbelievable, you know that?” yoongi giggles as seokjin pokes his side. “we’ll have a quick nap but you have to promise to go to bed when i tell you to later, okay?”

yoongi gets comfortable and snuggles against his hyung, letting sleep pull him under again. “promise, jinnie-hyung.”