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watch your hands, steady

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With this, Hua Cheng placed himself behind Xie Lian on the bed, with his chest pressed to his back and his arms hesitantly surrounding him. Xie Lian bit his lip, his legs still pressed together; he suddenly felt embarrassed.

And oddly, it seemed Hua Cheng was similarly flustered, because he hesitated in his embrace of Xie Lian, frowning in concentration without really touching him, uncharacteristically quiet. This was extremely odd; Hua Cheng was a lot of things during sex, but quiet was not one of them. 

But now, his hands even seemed to tremble. 

Xie Lian turned his head and raised a hand to caress Hua Cheng’s jaw, staring deeply into his worried pupil. “San Lang, we don’t have to do this” he reassured earnestly.

Hua Cheng hushed him softly, and gave a half-hearted attempt to gather himself. In these past years, he had grown more willing to let himself be vulnerable around Xie Lian. “Gege, it’s alright. I just–” he paused for a second, looking at Xie Lian’s lips for a moment before deciding to kiss him to calm his nerves. “I’ve never really… done this”

Xie Lian blinked, and then involuntarily extended his fingers to properly cup Hua Cheng’s cheek. “Oh, right” 

Why am I so dumb, he thought. Hua Cheng had only ever been with him, as much as himself had only ever been with Hua Cheng. Of course he was nervous, being inexperienced in this particular, uh– situation.

He swallowed and turned towards the front again, in an effort to not let Hua Cheng see the pink in his cheeks; but he was completely naked, and Hua Cheng could perfectly see the color spread across the back of his neck. At least this worked to lighten the mood and lift the pressure off him a bit, because he lightly laughed through his nose before leaning in to leave a kiss to the flushed skin.

“Gege will have to… guide me”

He could feel Hua Cheng’s words next to his ear, and the delicious tingle twisted in his lower belly again. He could feel himself throb in a way he never felt before, with the other version of his body. “Mm” he agreed weakly, partly to reassure Hua Cheng but mostly to get his hands where he wanted them already.

“Mm” Hua Cheng agreed back. “Open up, dianxia”

Xie Lian felt suddenly mortified, but obeyed regardless, opening up his thighs slowly and getting them comfortable in the bed. Hua Cheng’s own legs placed themselves next to his, surrounding him like a nest, and Xie Lian leaned comfortably against his chest, avoiding looking at his own crotch. Still felt alien to look at himself and find such a different sight than usual.

He felt Hua Cheng swallow before he started lightly nibbling on his shoulder, and he wasn’t sure if he was doing it to ease Xie Lian’s mortification or to calm his own nerves. Maybe both. He took a deep breath as Hua Cheng kept biting at the sensitive skin, still hesitantly holding his hips, his fingers ending at the muscles of his belly, right above where the new, exciting, terrifying pool of heat relentlessly pulsed against the new part of his body.

His shoulder was most likely already purple from the constant abuse when Hua Cheng finally felt confident enough to move his hands. He started caressing his strong toned thighs as he moved on to assault his neck this time, being careful to reach his inner thighs only fleetingly, as he settled on a teasing rhythm that had Xie Lian feeling urgent heat accumulate between his legs.

“San Lang” Xie Lian moaned, insistently. As much as he was enjoying the new sensation of feeling himself throb and radiate heat from god knows where, it could only be fun for so much time, and he had waited long enough for this.

“Impatient” Hua Cheng whispered, and fuck, that went directly to his–


Hua Cheng might have whispered a breathless curse as he conceded, but Xie Lian wouldn’t have known, because his hands were finally moving towards where he wanted them, now fully caressing his inner thigh with the left, ghosting over his heat with the right. 

“Gege, open further”

To an outsider, Hua Cheng’s voice might have sounded tranquil, maybe even bored, but Xie Lian wasn’t an outsider, and he had not loved the man for so long to not notice the subtle hints that seeped through his composure. He was still unsure. Xie Lian could tell in the hesitant way his hand hovered above him, and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the way he gave in so quickly in his teasing. But all of these years had not only given Xie Lian a deep understanding of his husband, but also the knowledge to ease his nervousness easily.

He did as he was told, spreading his legs further, and he went the extra mile, humping the air towards Hua Cheng’s hand with a movement of his hips. “San Lang, you’re doing so good, keep going” he mumbled, gentle.

Xie Lian felt the results of his praise not only in the bulge pressing against his lower back and the exhale against his neck, but also the way Hua Cheng’s hand moved decisively, if slowly, towards his crotch; and Xie Lian couldn’t help but glance down, inhaling sharply when he caught the little red thread that proudly stuck out. He watched his husband press his middle and index finger between the folds, and whimpered lightly when he felt the pool of heat expand once more, and it was right there, if Hua Cheng moved his fingers a little–

“Ah” he gasped out loud when Hua Cheng began to rub him, as if testing him, and the tingle that went all the way to his spine was so different than all the times Hua Cheng had rubbed his member just like this, that he couldn’t help but melt in it, languidly pressing his back to the warmth behind him. 

As he did this, he realized that Hua Cheng’s chin had been leaning against his shoulder, and he turned his gaze towards him lazily. His husband was staring down at his own hand with the same concentrated frown he wore whenever they were doing calligraphy lessons, so focused and preoccupied in doing it acceptably this time; and Xie Lian would tell him that it was okay, that they had an eternity to teach him how to do it right, that they could try over and over and over–

Xie Lian’s heart grew so fond that he could not help but laugh softly, and Hua Cheng shot his head up at him, a surprised expression that very quickly turned into a pout. “Gege…”

He giggled. “It’s just– San Lang is so focused”

“Gege…” Hua Cheng whined, hiding his pouty frown in Xie Lian’s shoulder.

Xie Lian was about to reassure him, when he realized something was amiss in the fingers that were still lightly pressed against him. He blinked. The black fingernails of Hua Cheng’s right hand, which were usually long and sharp, always ready to strike into a merciless scratch, were now round and short; something he probably should’ve realized sooner, given that he felt no ting or pain when he started to touch him.

Xie Lian could do nothing but turn his head to the side and kiss his husband contently; no matter how many years went by, how many gestures of care and kindness Hua Cheng granted him, his heart would always burst with affection and disbelief at his considerations.

He separated lightly to mumble. “Mm, keep going”

Hua Cheng obeyed, gently rubbing Xie Lian’s folds with his fingertips. “Let me know where–”

“Mmmph!” Xie Lian moaned loudly against Hua Cheng’s lips when his fingers grazed a particular spot that tickled every nerve in his belly. “San Lang, there

“Fuck, gege” Hua Cheng breathed, and pressed insistently in the spot that had pulled out such a noise out of Xie Lian, giving hesitant strokes around it.

Xie Lian moaned, grasping the fabric of Hua Cheng’s pants, as the insistent wetness in his insides grew deliciously hotter. Hua Cheng, a fast learner, caressed his clit with infinite care, giving it light pressure every other stroke, because Xie Lian had whimpered loudly when he applied pressure to it. 

“San Lang, that’s so good– San Lang, San Lang, faster–”

He could only imagine the concentrated face his husband must have had at the moment, because his eyes were closed as he relished in the exquisite tingle that grew stronger with each stroke, each hot breath against the back of his ear, each throb of the hardness against his lower back; he could only picture his lover holding his lower lip between his teeth, the lustful expression he must’ve had as he picked up the pace. Hua Cheng restlessly touched his clit, moving his fingers faster and harder, encouraged by Xie Lian’s labored breathing.

“Wait, wait– stop, stop, stop” These pleads weren’t at all like the usual pleads he muttered when he was begging for mercy in different nights, but rather firm, and he grabbed Hua Cheng’s wrist for good measure.

Hua Cheng caught on right away, and immediately ceased his movements. “Mm? What’s wrong?” he asked, worriedly.

“Mm, you’re– it hurts when you do it like that” Xie Lian offered.

Hua Cheng couldn’t be blamed for getting so caught on Xie Lian’s whines and gasps, and the way he was grabbing onto his robes for dear life and moving his hips against his touch; that he didn’t notice the way he was rubbing Xie Lian was not the way it was supposed to be done at all. Xie Lian slithered a hand between his legs to grab the one Hua Cheng was using to touch him, and directed his husband’s index and middle back toward his clit, guiding him the way he wanted it.

“Like this, use the pads of your fingers, not the tips” he instructed as he bit back a gasp, in the very same gentle way he corrected Hua Cheng’s messy strokes during their calligraphy sessions. 

He turned his head towards the man, and lightly smiled when he found the face he had been expecting, which was the same attentive look that Hua Cheng offered him whenever Xie Lian gave him advice on anything, a look that made him feel important and big and clever. He let go of Hua Cheng’s fingers, letting him work on it himself, and let out a content sigh when he executed the instructions perfectly, because if anything, his husband was incredible at listening to him.

“That’s it, just like that” he exhaled, as Hua Cheng picked up the pace. “You’re such a good listener, San Lang. Mm, such a good student–”

The praised worked wonders to loosen Hua Cheng’s tongue, who was soon murmuring seductively against his ear. “Mm, dianxia, thank you for teaching this San Lang”

“You’re such a f–fast learner– ah, San Lang”

Suddenly, the touch left him, and Xie Lian was about to complain when it was back, this time wet and slippery, sliding itself easily on his folds and his throbbing clit. He guessed Hua Cheng had used his own saliva to lubricate his fingers, and the idea of his lover tasting him was enough to have him moaning his name loudly. His noises were soon quieted by a pair of lips over his mouth, drowning the praise that kept lovingly forming in his throat and making efforts to come out.

“Mm, San Lang, so good, that is so good, you’re so good for gege” he mumbled against Hua Cheng’s mouth.

He held Hua Cheng’s left hand with his own, like he was holding onto life itself, and he lifted the other to grasp his hair and pull lightly, lovingly, needily, raising his hips erratically against the touch, feeling the pool of heat that had been forming for so long in his insides, and he was sure he must be dripping in the sheets by now, there was no way he wasn’t–

Like Hua Cheng had read his thoughts, the fingers that had been relentlessly abusing his clitoris left him, and decisively, hungrily conducted themselves towards the overwhelming, burning heat at the back of his pussy, touching the wetness that was gathered there.

“Holy fuck, gege” Hua Cheng gasped breathless, and Xie Lian felt him rut against his back almost against his own will. “Love, you’re so wet” he whispered, almost like he couldn’t believe it.

Xie Lian relished in the praise, in the touch, in the light kisses all over his exposed neck. “S–San La– ah!”

He all but screamed, shutting his legs together at the shock of pleasure when Hua Cheng, in a fit of shamelessness, gathered some of his fluids with his fingers, and used them as new lube to sloppily rub his clit with a slow stroke, pressing the head lovingly. As his husband went to let go of his hand with the intention of spreading his legs again, Xie Lian grasped the hand tightly and opened them himself, refusing to lose the fingers interlocked with his own.

Only in this moment of clarity did Xie Lian realize Hua Cheng had switched fingers, using his thumb to gently stroke him this time around, while his middle finger ghosted over his entrance, asking a question.

Just as he was about to answer, Hua Cheng voiced it. “Will dianxia let this San Lang in?”

“Yesyesyes please ” Xie Lian urged him, and it wasn’t long before he could feel the long slender middle finger easily slide inside him.

He did not bother in holding back the shameless noise that came out of his mouth, the feeling of intrusion so different from the place those fingers were usually intruding in. It burned slightly, the thought of the red thread burying inside him making him feel dizzy and so good at the same time. His hips rocked forward, chasing more of the feeling of being filled, now in the source of all the dizzying warmth pooling in his belly.

“San Lang, another one, please–” he begged, lost in the pleasure he had craved for so long.

“Gege, fuck, so greedy” Hua Cheng groaned, and pushed another finger inside, going past his folds and all the way inside him, his fingers long already reaching parts of him that left him shuddering and confused. 

His husband’s hand let go of his own, and this time he didn’t complain, especially not when it lifted to give attention to one of his forgotten nipples, which sent ripples directly to the spot inside him Hua Cheng’s fingers were reaching with every slide in and out. Hua Cheng’s attentions, his fingers and his tongue and his mouth and his cock pressing warmly behind him absolutely overwhelmed him.

“San Lang! Aah– ah– San Lang!” he slurred his words as Hua Cheng curved the fingers that were inside him, very much like he would in a regular night, and he grazed a spot inside that had him seeing stars. 

Xie Lian clenched instinctively, unsure if Hua Cheng was able to tell but willing to try nonetheless, and this took him so close to the high he was being carried through, that he kept doing it, over and over until he was sure the wave of pleasure that was threatening to wash over him could not be mistaken for anything else. He moaned Hua Cheng’s name desperately, rocking his hips at the rhythm of the fingers sliding in and out of him and the thumb pressing his sweet spot mercilessly. 

“San Lang, something is– hmmhph–!”

He did not get to finish his warning, because his orgasm was washing over him, prompted by the order to cum whispered in his ear in a low, devoted and earnest groan, and it came so unexpectedly he didn’t have time to decide the noise he wanted to make, managing only a loud whimper that broke past his lips almost offensively, clenching and pushing his hips unbelievably high in the air, as he definitely felt more liquid spill out of him, covering Hua Cheng’s fingers. 

He sat there, heavy-breathing dejectedly through his post orgasm, leaning against his husband’s chest like a puddle as the latter stroked his hair and absentmindedly kissed his forehead. Some time went by, and he half wondered through the haze in his mind why Hua Cheng hadn’t accommodate them both, as he usually would, when he finally felt a pair of hands hold him by the hips, attempting to move him.

“Mmmno, San Lang” he protested weakly but firmly. “Let me help you”

Hua Cheng hummed, and when he spoke he sounded as puddley as Xie Lian felt. “Gege doesn’t have to”

“San Lang, I want to”

“Gege, you literally don’t have to”

Xie Lian hummed, confused, trying to work through the haze of his mind, and he reached a hand behind him to touch Hua Cheng’s bulge, except, his touch met no bulge at all, but soaking wet fabric between his thighs, almost as if–

This was enough to bring him out of his dazed state. He turned his head completely to stare at Hua Cheng in shock. “San Lang…” he exhaled in disbelief.

He had the mind to seem embarrassed, pressing his lips together and looking away. “Forgive this San Lang, gege, you just sounded too good…”

“San Lang…” he whined, promptly hiding his entire face in Hua Cheng’s chest so he wouldn’t see the blush that rapidly crept up his chest, shoulders, neck and ears. “You really are… too much”