It starts with a question. A plea, almost.
"Hyung, you'd never treat me differently because I'm younger, right? We're equals, aren't we?"
And Taeil knows where Donghyuck is going with it, but neither of them say more than that, except for Taeil's "Yeah, of course".
They both know what it's really about. Taeil knows, and Donghyuck knows that Taeil knows. But speaking it will make it more real, so Taeil doesn't. Out of respect for Taeil's boundaries, Donghyuck doesn't either.
Taeil has no problem with Donghyuck's crush. Had no problem. It becomes a problem when Taeil realizes he might reciprocate those feelings. He does reciprocate. Then it becomes much more difficult to brush off the flirty offhand comments, pretending like it's a joke, because now it's real. It's real, and it's as exhilarating as it is terrifying.
So when Donghyuck corners him when they're back home at Taeil's place after a night with friends, Taeil freezes. All sorts of alarm bells go off in his head, but he can't will himself to stop the kiss that finds its way to his mouth. It's easier to let someone else take the reins. Someone who's braver than him. And despite the shock and the warning bells, he does kiss back, although much more carefully than Donghyuck. Donghyuck kisses like he's letting out all his pent up energy in one go. Donghyuck kisses like he's had twice the amount of drinks he's actually had.
Taeil can't say that he minds it. Although he has some reservations about the speed at which they're going. Being crowded against a wall in his dark hallway isn't how he imagined this might happen. He feels hands slide under the jacket that he didn't even get enough time to take off. Feels Donghyuck's body pressed against his own as the kisses make their way across his cheek, his jaw.
"I want you to ruin me," Donghyuck whispers in his ear.
I think it's happening the other way around , Taeil wants to say, but his words don't leave his throat. He feels his blood rushing. Feels how his jeans suddenly get tighter. Donghyuck is temptation itself. He's in the impulses that Taeil's never had before, he's in the thoughts that Taeil has tried to ignore. He's the lifeline that Taeil holds onto as he feels fingers pull as his belt, undoing it, just like Taeil himself is being undone.
"I want you," Donghyuck murmurs against the skin below Taeil's ear, and Taeil can't help but lean his head, subconsciously exposing his neck, mouth open, trying to breathe. Donghyuck graces him with his mouth, kissing a trail up and down.
"Don't you want me, hyung? You want me, right?"
Taeil mouths the word, a quiet yes leaving his lips. Donghyuck doesn't hear it.
"Hyung," he breathes, almost whines, as he lifts his head from Taeil's neck and finds his lips instead. Taeil's fingers dig into Donghyuck's shoulders as he feels his own zipper being pulled down. He mumbles into the kiss. Donghyuck leans back only to let him speak.
"Want you," Taeil repeats breathlessly, finally confirming it out loud, and Donghyuck comes crashing back into him.
Eager hands tug at his now open jeans. Donghyuck breathes heavily against Taeil's lips, "Gonna touch you", and Taeil only manages a "mhm" in response. His jeans are pushed down, along with his boxers, just enough for Donghyuck to grasp his half hard cock and pull it out. Taeil gasps at the touch, at the stark contrast of confining fabric and soft hands. Then Donghyuck drops to his knees. Taeil's impulse is to ask him what he's doing, even though he knows very well.
Donghyuck looks up, and even though they've barely done anything other than kissing he already looks so far gone, eyelids heavy and lips parted. Taeil finds himself hypnotized by it, want and intrigue overcoming shock.
"You want this?" Donghyuck asks, voice heavy with lust, hand still around Taeil's erection.
Taeil reminds himself to keep breathing. He thinks it should feel wrong, but it doesn't. The voice at the back of his head that has been screaming at him since he was first pushed against the wall continues trying to convince him that this has to stop. But god, he doesn't want to. Donghyuck wants this, and as much as Taeil has tried to tell himself he doesn't want the same, he wants this too. Wants Donghyuck, wants to let Donghyuck take whatever he wants, finally giving in. It's Donghyuck that has ruined Taeil.
Then he remembers to answer, and nods. He's almost embarrassed at the noise he makes when Donghyuck envelops the pink head with his lips. Soft, plush lips, an even softer tongue. Taeil gasps and presses his palms against the wall behind him as he feels Donghyuck press the tip of his tongue against the slit, then circling the rest of the head. It looks like sin. Pretty and obscene. Taeil's little Donghyuck, so beautiful, mouth made for singing and laughing and witty comebacks, now on his knees with Taeil's cock in his mouth.
Shame and want are a terrible combination, Taeil understands. But he reminds himself that they're equals, he promised, and Donghyuck wants this too. He’s not taking advantage. Donghyuck wants this. Donghyuck takes Taeil's wrists, guiding them from the wall and onto his own head. Taeil carefully follows, and Donghyuck only lets go when he feels fingers in his hair, gently grasping and holding on. Then he bobs his head, and the soft grasp turns to hard grip as Taeil moans.
Donghyuck closes his eyes and hums around the girth, fully lost in his enjoyment. He continues to move, taking more and more with every dip of his head, drawing sharp breaths from Taeil. And Taeil's legs shake. He tries not to move, tries to remain frozen, but then Donghyuck sucks on his way down again and Taeil bucks. It makes Donghyuck choke, and Taeil panics, tugging on the younger's hair to pull him off.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry-"
Donghyuck looks even more gone than before. It doesn't help that his hair looks wild around Taeil's fist.
"Do it again."
"Please." He begs. He sways on his knees, leaning into Taeil's hand on his head, riding some unknown high that Taeil has never seen before. But somewhere behind the pornographic expression he's wearing, open mouthed, spit reflecting the low light on his chin, Taeil still sees Donghyuck. His Donghyuck.
"What…" Taeil hesitates, treading into unfamiliar territory as he considers taking on a role that he understands Donghyuck wants. And he wants to give Donghyuck everything. I want you to ruin me . "...What do you want?"
Donghyuck makes a noise, almost a moan. "Want your cock in my mouth, hyung. Wanna make you feel good, want you to use me. Whatever you want, please , whatever you want. Just let me choke on your cock." He whines.
Taeil would laugh at the contradiction - "I'll do whatever you want but let's do it my way" - it's so very Donghyuck. But Taeil isn't laughing. He feels the flush on his cheeks spread to his chest. Then he decides to give Donghyuck what he wants.
Hand still in the other's hair, Taeil pulls Donghyuck close again, his other hand now around his own cock, guiding it to Donghyuck's mouth. Donghyuck looks up, making sure to keep eye contact as he moves. Making sure Taeil watches the show. He sticks his tongue out, mouth open, and lays it flat against the underside of the length. Then he seals his lips around the head once again and goes down, down, taking as much as he can, reveling in the breath Taeil releases.
It takes a little while, some adjustment for the both of them. But when Taeil starts to move, setting a slow and gentle pace with his own hips and the grip in Donghyuck's hair, and the latter moans around Taeil's cock with his eyes closed, Taeil indulges himself. He holds Donghyuck's head still as he fucks into his mouth, slow but strong. Donghyuck's throat strains as he instinctively tries to close it off, but wills himself to relax. An involuntary, gagged noise escapes him again, and this time Taeil only pauses. But the eyes that look up at him are nothing but determined. So he relaxes. And picks up the pace. Watching as Donghyuck's eyes close again.
Once he knows Donghyuck is okay - more than okay - he enjoys himself more. He wonders how far he can push it, how much Donghyuck is comfortable with. Somehow he's not too surprised about Donghyuck's eagerness, his behavior, his hunger for more, for too much. He's always been a lot. But Taeil finds himself with a new fascination for it, something he wants to see more of. A hunger of his own.
He slows, and has to stop Donghyuck from keeping up the movement. Looking down, he holds still and waits until Donghyuck takes the hint and looks back up at him. Taeil holds him steady, both hands around fistfulls of hair. He pushes his hips forward in one, agonizingly slow motion. Further than before.
He watches as Donghyuck knits his eyebrows, struggling to keep eye contact when Taeil carefully pushes his cock as far as he can. He feels the back of Donghyuck's throat, feels the strain, the struggle as Donghyuck convinces his own body to accept the intrusion. Tears gather at the corners of Donghyuck’s eyes, and he alternates between having them close in concentration or trying to keep all his attention on Taeil above.
Donghyuck is absolutely silent. His nose touches the hair at Taeil's base. He remains unmoving even when the air is cut off and Taeil bottoms out. The seconds go by. Taeil can feel how Donghyuck adjusts, and his throat eventually almost manages to relax. But he has to breathe at some point. There's a hand on Taeil's knee, then, and Taeil isn't sure if it's just for Donghyuck to steady himself or to give a warning, but he reacts anyway. He tugs on Donghyuck's hair and pulls him off entirely, and Donghyuck immediately sucks in a lungful of air.
"Are you okay?" Taeil softens his grip in Donghyuck's hair.
"Yeah," Donghyuck breathes.
Taeil is quiet for a moment, observing. Then he asks, "Can I go faster?", still careful and gentle.
Donghyuck leans forward, showing determination to keep going as he mouths at the side of Taeil's cock, licking a stripe back up to the head. He presses a wet kiss right on the tip and looks up.
Taeil almost smiles. He's a little too disheveled and distracted for humor right now, but now all reservations he had about doing this are gone with Donghyuck's comment. He adjusts his grip in Donghyuck's hair again, and Donghyuck hums with it, opening his mouth in anticipation.
Taeil pushes in, and Donghyuck needs no convincing to meet him halfway, swallowing him down once more. They don't push it quite as far. Taeil doesn't really dare to, not with the pace he sets. But he starts thrusting deep enough that he can feel the tightness at the back, the fight between muscle instinct and Donghyuck's will to let it happen. He drools around Tail's cock, filling the quiet with obscene, wet noises as he sucks.
Taeil hasn't ever been overly interested in sex. He enjoys it, sure, but he's never considered or even thought about doing anything like this. About facefucking Donghyuck. He's allowed to set his own pace, think selfishly about his own pleasure and use Donghyuck. Just like Donghyuck wants. Because Donghyuck wants it.
It feels surreal and strange how they even ended up here when all Taeil has done is shy away, and now Donghyuck is on his knees as Taeil thrusts into his mouth. It feels incredible. Warm and hot and so much all at once. It overwhelms him in ways he hasn't experienced before and feels the pleasure build up way too fast, but even when he stops pulling on Donghyuck’s hair, Donghyuck doesn't let up.
"Hyuck-, Donghyuck- " He tries to warn him, the word "stop" on the tip of his tongue, but what comes out isn't a word. It hits him out of left field, and he climaxes faster than he's ever done before. Donghyuck flinches in surprise as Taeil spills into his mouth, but he remains firmly in place, eyes closed in concentration as he swallows pulse after pulse.
Taeil falls back to lean on the wall, barely keeping himself upright as he moans, eyes closed and head thrown back. Then Donghyuck finally lets go with a pop, and Taeil's knees buckle under him. He crumbles to the floor on his ass, and it's a mess of limbs as Donghyuck shifts until he sits between Taeil's thighs. Taeil doesn't get a moment of recovery before Donghyuck's lips are on his, licking his way into his mouth and somehow, through the haze of coming down from his orgasm, Taeil accepts. He can taste his own cum on Donghyuck's tongue.
"Thank you ," Donghyuck whispers between wet kisses. " Thank you ."
Then he presses his body close in some kind of embrace, laying half on top of Taeil on the floor with his head on Taeil’s shoulder. Deflated.
"Shouldn't it be the other way?" Taeil breathes, slowly recovering. Donghyuck makes a noise that Taeil doesn't know how to translate properly. "Shouldn't I be thanking you?"
Donghyuck makes a move to look up, decides he's much more comfortable in the crook of Taeil's neck, and mumbles into the collar of his jacket instead.
"Wanted this for a long time."
Taeil is quiet for a moment. Feeling Donghyuck's chest rise and fall against him. They really need to get out of their jackets. And the rest of their clothes. It's late.
"I'm sorry," Taeil whispers.
"Don't. Hyung, seriously, don't." Donghyuck's arms snake their way behind Taeil's lower back, holding him close. "You dicked me down in the end, it's cool."
Taeil puffs out a laugh in surprise. He doesn't correct Donghyuck that getting dicked down probably means something else. His hand comes to rest in Donghyuck's hair, very differently from the rough fist that he held there just moments ago.
"Can I return the favor?" He asks, kissing the top of Donghyuck's head.
"What if I want to?"
Taeil smiles against Donghyuck's hair.
Donghyuck nuzzles closer. "Good."
"Come on," Taeil groans and tries to nudge Donghyuck off of him, "Let's go to bed."