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She's Not From Here (Various Twisted Wonderland x MILF Reader)

Chapter Text


Ya know, you've been through a list of things.

Things such as waking up in a field full of cows in the dead of night, going toe-to-toe with a flock of wild turkey, and having two chaotic daughters that seemed to make the impossible occur with ease were only a taste of your daily life.

But never, in all of the ridiculous situations you found yourself in, did you ever recall waking up in a coffin.

You didn't panic yet, because it wasn't the first time you woke up in such a tight space, but it was stuffy enough to irritate you. Pushing against the door, you grumbled curses when it didn't even budge.

Wait, where were-

"Cassandra? Bowie?" You yelled out, knocking against the door. Worry coursed through your veins when you were met with silence. Where were they?!

"Momma! Is that you?" The muffled voice of Bowie shouted as you heard tapping on the door. Your lips released a breath of relief, "Are you okay? Is Cassandra there with you?" You questioned, leaning against the wall behind you and crossing your arms.

"She's sleeping, but she's okay!"

"Eh? What's a kid doing here?" A new voice growled. Your fingers twitched, who was this?

"Please, Mr. Raccoon Cat, can you open this door?!" You heard Bowie raise her voice as rapid footsteps followed.

'Raccoon cat? The hell-'

"I'm no raccoon or a cat! I'm the Great Grim, and I need a uniform!"

"Huh? You mean these robes? I'll give them to you, but after you open this door!" Bowie responded, "Promise?"

"Mmmmm… GYA! FINE!" The new voice grumbled.

Instantly, blue flames were outlined on the coffin door, much to your dislike. You pounded against the door, your throat starting to burn as the smoke reached you.

Only a few seconds later, the door flew open and you stepped out. You put your hands on your knees and inhaled the cleaner air with relief, ignoring the raccoons shriek of surprise.

"How- why are you awake?!"

You looked down- yeesh, was it a cat or a raccoon? Shrugging, you kneeled down to properly face Bowie, Cassandra had just woken up.

"Status update?"

Cassandra stood up, "No bleeding or broken bones." She yawned. "Same here!" Bowie chirped.

"We're in an unknown area with a bunch of coffins, wearing strange robe-" You were interrupted by the raccoon cat.

"Hey! That kid still needs to give me her uniform!"

You looked over to Bowie, who was already taking off the robe, revealing the clothes she was wearing before you mysteriously passed out.

"A promise is a promise." She walked over to the raccoon cat with the robe in her hands, retracting her hands when he was about to snatch. "Take it nicely, or I'll take it back." She frowned, ignoring the creature's growls.

He bared his teeth as he took it 'nicely', much to your amusement. You sighed, adjusting the strange matching robes you wore.

You stretched your arms, "Whelp, time to find the owner of this…" You trailed off, taking in the area around you. It was dark and decorated with blue flames here and there. Coffins were floating in the oddest places, all in different angles.

"This is flattering…" You hummed as you walked, holding both of your daughter's hand-in-hand. As the raccoon cat began cackling to himself, you three traveled down the hallways, taking in the strange sights.

'Please let me find someone who knows what the hell's going on?'

You sweat dropped as a painting greeted you with a hearty chuckle. Still, in order to gain favor in this new place, you politely nodded back, much to the talking painting's delight.

"Pardon me, but can you tell me who the owner of this place is and where I can find them?" You asked the painting.

"Why of course, dear!" The painting exclaimed, "His name is Dire Crowley, he's the Headmaster of this place. He passed by here a moment ago, I believe he was looking for you."

Your brows raised, "I wonder why... Do you know where he could've gone? I think there has been a mistake here."

"The Ebony Carriage makes no mistake!"

Cassandra released the most silent shriek you had ever heard as she hid in your robes. You turned around to the owner of the voice, meeting eyes- er, the glowing dots that were where his eyes were, with the 10th strangest man you've ever seen in your life.


"I cannot allow you to let your familiar run wild!" He interrupted, holding up the raccoon cat from before. It no longer wore the robes Bowie gave it, and it was tied up like a wild hog.

'Familiar?' You raised a brow, "My apologies, sir, but that-"

"And are you really that impatient that you had to leave the gate?!" The strange man exclaimed, sighing dramatically. "How did you even get out without the special key?"

You spoke with a twitching brow, "The lid to the coffin was burnt off." You watched as he glared at the raccoon cat.

"It leads back to the suspect." He grumbled. Quickly, his expression switched to realization, "Oh my! The entrance ceremony will soon come to a close, let's hurry now!"

He handed Bowie's robe back to her, "I believe this is yours, young lady." Her eyes brightened as she took it back, thanking him repeatedly.

"For I am gracious, I will not punish you," Your forehead vein popped from holding in your laugh, "Now, we're on our way!"

You followed after him, the grip of Cassandra's hand in yours was incredible, but nothing you've ever dealt with. You rubbed the back of her small hand with your thumb, relaxing the black-haired child only slightly.

Hopefully, this strange man would be able to get you three back home. If not…

Well, the last thing anyone wants is for you, of all people, to step in.

"Headmaster, what is this place? It seems that I'm still dazed from the awakening." You gave a sheepish chuckle, but your daughters knew fully well that you were acting.

Still, they remained silent, because you didn't raise snitches.

The man looked back, "This is Night Raven College, an all-boys school of magic!" He dramatically gestured with one arm as the raccoon cat wrangled in his other hand.

He must've noticed the frown you had, for he added, "We aren't as shallow as rejecting single teen fathers, so do not worry about your girls." He smiled.

You raised a brow, he thought you were a guy. It made sense, you guess? You were tall (about 195 cm), and your voice was deep, but in a more womanly way. Your bosom was a huge giveaway, but the cloak must've messed him up.

Perhaps there was such a variety of boys that he wasn't even questioning you.

"If a girl were to somehow be here, what would happen to her?" You asked with an innocent tone.

"Well, it depends. If she sneaks in with full knowledge that she is not allowed, then she will be punished. Such as taking her magic or having her work in place of the janitor for a year or two."

You sighed, "And if she's innocent?"

"We use the Dark mirror to take her back home, and she must make an oath to never set foot in the school with the intent of becoming a student." He chuckled as you all arrived at a large pair of doors. "We do have parent-teacher meetings, so that's why we must be specific."

You nodded, taking a quick inhale, "Sir-"

He slammed the doors wide open before you could continue, "Absolutely not!" He yelled out, probably answering one of the muffled words you heard before he opened the doors.

You instantly saw that this room was incredibly crowded, yet neatly grouped. Everyone wore the same cloaks you did, was this a ceremony of sorts?

Cassandra returned into your cloak when some eyes landed on her. You didn't blame her, some of these guys had mean looks. You nudged Cassandra out, picking her up to hold her on your hip.

"Oh, he's here." One of the boys in the front spoke.

The headmaster shook his head, "Honestly, I went to go and grab our last student." He groaned, walking to the front stage of sorts. You followed after him with your chin slightly tilted up as the hooded males on either side of you muttered and stared.

You had walked down the hallways of highschool when you were pregnant, this was nothing.

Bowie noticed your confidence, and stuck out her chest with furrowed brows and puffed cheeks. She couldn't keep up the tough facade and started waving at those she caught gazes at. This obviously caused a small uproar of 'aw' in the chamber.

You walked up the steps, where the headmaster, seven other students and a giant mirror stood.

The headmaster added, "Your daughters need to stand to the side as you get sorted. Not to worry, for they can stand with me!" You nodded, putting Cassandra down so she could walk to the side with Bowie.

A face appeared within the large mirror, it was a green full face mask, with netting below the brows. Other intricate designs were found all over the mask.

"State thy name."

"Are we doing first name, last name or last name, first name?" You looked over to the Headmaster, who answered with, "Any one."

"(Y/n) (L/n)." You answered the mirror.

He squinted at you for a moment before he finally said something.

"The shape of thy soul is… I don't know." The mask's face dropped in confusion.

The headmaster choked on air, "Pardon?" Cassandra and Bowie started fumbling their hands out of anxiety when the whispers of the other students grew.

"She has magic, but her soul is nothing that I've come across. It changes shape and color with every second that passes. Therefore, none and all dorms are suited for her."

The crowd behind you erupted with surprise, "A girl?!" "How'd she get in?" "Is she a spy?"

The headmaster's voice pierced through the chaos, "Impossible! The Ebony Carriage has never picked up a woman, or such a soul!"

Bowie and Cassandra ran from him and stood on either side of you, gripping where your legs were from beneath the robes. You rested your hands on their shoulders, standing tall as you looked straight at the headmaster.

Before you could even get a word out, the raccoon cat from before escaped its bindings. "Pah! Then let me take her place!" It growled, causing you to slowly hide Bowie and Cassandra within your robes.

"Stand down, tanuki!" The headmaster bellowed, only agitating you further.

"Unlike that dumb human, I can use my magic!" It gave a nasty grin, "I'll prove it to ya!" The flames in its ears grew.

The red haired boy to your right yelled out, "EVERYONE GET DOWN!"

Instantly, a wave of fire was roaring in your direction. You grit your teeth as you push your girls behind you, where the fire would not come as close as to licking the air around them.

You held up your arms to block, clenching your eyes from the bright blue hues. You weren't afraid, as this was not the first time you were attacked by a blast of fire. Still, it was too bright, and you didn't know if this fire would be stronger than those you've been hit with in the past.

Though, the last few times you made contact, the fire actually hit…

You opened your eyes, to find that the fire that had charged your way was gone. There was still fire all around the room, giving you one of the many glimpses of hell you've had in your life.

"AHH! MY BUTT IS ON FIRE!" A man with a turban shrieked, running around in a panic the fire on his butt attempted to eat through his robes.

Instantly, you threw off your robe, "Twins, Rabbit!" You commanded over the screaming in the room.

The girls quickly ran off hand in hand to an area that had no flames, careful to avoid panicking students and blasts of fire as they safely hid. They both hid behind a giant statue, far from the heat.

Now that they were out of harm's way, you could move around.

You raced over with incredible speed, tackling the screeching male so that he was on his stomach. Using your robe, you suffocated the flames, saving his butt (literally).

The man with the turban stopped screaming, realizing the burning sensation was no longer present. "You saved me! Thank you!" He grinned, sitting up with a bounce.

You nodded, your eyes glued onto the raccoon cat that was now running away from two students. One of which, you recognized to be the one that yelled out for everyone to duck.

Without another thought, you used your robe as a net and scooped up the creature when it got close enough. It started trying to escape, barely poking through the robes' material.

"Anyone o' you magical boys have a skill to immobilize this thing?!" You called out, your grip not wearing once as the creature wriggled in your hold.

The red-haired boy from before snapped out of his shock, racing over to you.




A flash of white, and the creature shrieked from within the bag. You relaxed, resting the robe down and opening it to reveal the creature with a strange collar. It hopped on its feet and began to try and take the collar off.

You ignored what was happening next and rushed over to your wide-eyed girls, their onyx eyes wide with amazement.

They grinned widely, despite tears flowing down their chubby cheeks, and raced over, "Momma!" They cried out in unison, hiding their faces on your robes.

You rubbed the back of your neck, "I keep forgetting that you guys don't know that I'm used to this." You squatted down, tucking strands of hair behind their ears.

"I'm okay, look!" You opened up your arms, "Not a scratch or burn on me! It'll take a lot more than that to take down Momma." You winked, poking your tongue out to the side in a cute manner as you flexed your right arm.

Bowie rapidly nodded, and Cassandra was wiping her tears. "Promise?" Bowie prodded.

You paused, suddenly pulled back to your five year old self.


"Daddy? If Momma didn't go bye-bye, would Grandpa still be mean to me?" Your scratchy baby voice echoed lightly in the white background.

Stinging pain, though inflicted long ago, tingled in certain spots beneath your skin. Your throat was bruised and dry, purple and blue decorating your neck like a forbidden choker.

The faint glow of your father's smile reached your sight, causing a warm, safe feeling to grow in your chest. The rest of his face was blurry, but the love in his smile was enough to keep you from questioning it.

"Nah, he's a bad guy who pretends he can see evil. He was like that to Mommy too."

A hand reached out to you, and you couldn't help but flinch before the hand shakily retracted with realization.

"You'll never have to see Grandpa ever again."

"You promise?"

His hearty chuckle resonated within your fragile bones, shaking your glass heart so greatly. His laugh, despite trying to keep the mood light and positive, made your stomach drop. The crack in his laughter made it obvious that he would break down if he had to keep up this facade.

To pretend that things would return to the way they were before hell crawled out of the ground to take all that you loved.

"I promise."


Your smile weakened, and your eyes dulled at the memory. Finally, you took a deep breath and answered your baby girl.

"Hun', I can't make such a promise in a situation like this. I'll do my best, but I can't guarantee that it'll be safe." You sighed, "But I'll promise, for you both." You gave the two girls a hug as the raccoon cat was being thrown out.

The headmaster coughed to catch everyone's attention, "We had a bit of trouble along the way but this brings the entrance ceremony to a close." Dusting off the imaginary dust off of his clothes, he continued. "Dormitory Heads, please show the new students back to the dormitories."

He paused and looked around, "Huh? Now that I think about it, I don't see the leader for Diasomnia, Mr. Draconia, around at all…" The headmaster trailed off.

A tired voice led you to a handsome young man with a grumpy face. His lion-like ears twitched as he spoke, "That's no different from usual, is it?"

"What? Did nobody tell him about the ceremony?" The boy you saved earlier questioned.

A beautiful man answered, "If you're going to complain, you should've done it yourself." He raised his perfect brows in a mocking manner, as if daring the shorter male to retort.

The boy with the turban replied, "Hmm. But I don't know anything about that guy." He closed his eyes in distress as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You felt Bowie tug at your pants, "That's not nice, is it?" She whispered. You shook your head as you looked among the seven students before you, "Not at all, Dear."

One of the students, the one with lion ears, seemed to have picked up your words and gave you the side eye. You raised a brow and stared back until he finally looked away.

"I was correct." A new voice came from behind you to your left. Bowie peeked around your behind to see who was speaking, meeting eyes with the owner of the voice.

The person walked forward, allowing you to see how short he was.

"I thought he might come but Malleus really didn't." He had an unimpressed expression, "It seems the invitation "never arrived" again."

He turned around, spotting your two girls watching him with awe. He was something out of a fairytale for them! You watched as he gave a small smile, causing Cassandra to look down and for Bowie to wave at him.

The conversation continued, "My deepest apologies. I promise, we didn't intend to exclude you." One of the boys that chased after the creature cooed, not a shred of guilt in his voice.

The redhead from before added, "His aura makes it hard to approach him." He shrugged.

Your brows creased, "What a lame excuse…" You muttered, "If you don't like him, just say that."

The boy with black and pink hair looked back at you with a weird light in his eye. He then sighed, "It's fine. Members of the Diasomnia Dorm can come with me." He passed by once more, sneaking another smile towards you.

"I hope this doesn't upset him…"

Soon enough, the other dorms began to leave. You continued to ignore the stares directed towards you and sighed, waving to the boy with the turban when he grinned at you before disappearing into the hallway.

After about two minutes, it was only you, your daughters and the Headmaster.

The headmaster broke the silence with a sound of distress, "Then, Madam (L/n), I'm terribly sorry about this but.. We must have you leave the school." He hesitated.

You nodded, "Understandable, sir." This seemed to make his shoulders relax.

He continued, "There is no need to worry. The Dark Mirror will send you directly back from whence you came." He gestured for you to walk up to the mirror once more.

You walked up, your girls walking behind you.

"Enter the Gate, and picture your home clearly in your mind." The headmaster instructed.

You closed your eyes, picturing the lovely yet lonely home your family resided in. It was only you and your kids, for you had no other family. At least, no other family that was willing to reach out.

In the midst of your thoughts, the headmaster bellowed, "Oh, Dark Mirror! Guide this one back to the place they belong!"

Silence followed, much to your confusion.

"This happens sometimes, once more." He sent you a smile that told you that this has, in fact, not happened before. "Oh, Dark Mirror! Guide this-"

"It is nowhere." The mirror interrupted.


"The place they belong is nowhere in this world. It does not exist." He emphasized on 'exist' with a very faint hint of sass.

You exhaled through your nostrils as the Headmaster ranted. You only listened in when he asked you a question.

"Where exactly did you come from?"

"I come from (Home Name). Lovely place, with all of its judgemental, hypocritic citizens."

He put a finger to his chin in deep thought. "I've never heard of such a place. I have a general idea of where the students come from, but such a place has never reached these ears of mine." He hummed.

"Let us go to the library."

Chapter Text

The library was something out of a fantasy movie, with the cliche floating books and the old scrolls reading themselves in hushed whispers. You smiled when Cassandra looked torn between sticking close to you and running out to explore her long-awaited fantasies.

Meanwhile, Bowie was behind you, trying to pull the hem of her robes out of a snapping book that resembled a dog of sorts. She tried to keep quiet, but her loud whispers for the book to let go reached your ears.

You looked back, spotting her playing tug-of-war with a book. You sighed with a grin, "How about rubbing its spine?" You had seen it happen in a movie before, maybe it worked here?

Cassandra rushed over excitedly, gently rubbing the spine of the book as she watched it's every move. The book started calming down, before it finally released the cloth from its strange mouth. Cassandra giggled and gave the dog book a pat before it pranced off.

"Not a single thing!" You heard the headmaster exclaim as he peeked at the many maps around him. Judging by their similarities and detail, they appeared to be maps of the same place over time. 

"This home of yours isn't in any of our books, and it seems as though it doesn't even exist in our maps." He peered over to you with a suspicious side eye.

"You're not lying to me, are you?"

You raised an irritated brow, "Sir, do you perceive me to be the type of woman to lie about something like this?" You crossed your arms as you stared back with anger.

"Oh, because I'd love to wake up in a school when I've already learned what I needed. And not just any school, but an all magical boys school." You groaned as the headmaster shriveled back, "Just another Monday for me."

He gulped, "O-Of course! My sincerest apologies! It's just that many young women have tried to sneak in, and I d-didn't quite sense your distress."

You sighed, waving it off, "It's fine."

When you were in fact, not fine.

The headmaster looked back at his books with caution. "Well, judging by what I'm hearing and reading, you may have come here from another planet, maybe even from another world…" He trailed off as he continued reading.

You raised a brow, "I think that happened to a cousin, haven't heard from her since we were ten." You mumbled.

"Do you have any identification, a license for a magic car or a name on a shoe? You don't seem to have anything on you…" The headmaster questioned.

Your eyes widened, and you felt inside the pockets of the robes only to feel nothing. The pockets of your clothes beneath the robes were empty too.

Ohhh crap.

Your head shot up, "Nope." Your stomach dropped a bit, "My phone is gone too."

The headmaster crossed his arms, "And judging by your confusion of how this world works, it's not a magic phone." He sighed.

"This is a major concern, I cannot allow a person such as yourself to stay here. Still, I can't just toss out a penniless student as an educator. Especially when you have no form of communication."

He couldn't help but smile, "For I am so gracious!"

You nodded along, remembering your mother-in-law's similar behavior.

The headmaster perked up randomly, "Ah! That's right!" He exclaimed, causing Bowie to jump back in surprise.

You raised a brow when he didn't continue, "That's right… what?"

The headmaster coughed awkwardly, "Apologies, there is an unused building on campus. It used to be a dormitory, so it just needs a little clean up before you sleep in it." He explained with a smile.

"For now, I will let you stay there! Meanwhile, I will continue researching for a way to get you back home!" He laughed to himself with joy. "My graciousness is limitless, I'm a role model to all educators!"

You coughed to show you were still there, snapping the now flustered male out of his fantasy.

"R-right! Let us head to the dormitory. It may be old, but its charm makes it special." He marched towards the exit.

You tried to ignore the upcoming headache you were feeling and followed after the older man. Bowie and Cassandra walked after you, hand in hand.

It was a good five minutes of walking before you came across an old house that appeared to be falling apart as you stared at it. You shuddered at the thought of how many bugs were in there, as well as the mountains of dust that would get in your hair if you went in.

Oh god, was the plumbing even working anymore?

"The charm is immaculate," You sighed, tugging at a strand of your kinky hair. "Even my millionaire husband couldn't afford something so charming." You muttered.

He was incredibly rich, just not famous. Then there was the fact that he's dead and his mother burned his will so that she could take the money meant to go to you and your daughters.

Still, this house was ten times better than what she tried to give you.

"Right right, let's head inside." The headmaster hummed, strolling into the worn down house with a skip in his step. You shrugged, maybe this was like that one tent in Harry Potter.

You walked in after the headmaster, and nope, it was not like the movies at all.

"This will at least keep you out of the rain." The headmaster coughed, waving the dust away from his face.

You released a weak chuckle, practically feeling every little speck of dust that landed in your hair. Hey, this couldn't possibly be as bad as that one time your cousin dumped glitter on you.

"You got a magic feather duster around here?" You asked with a dull tone, hopelessness in your voice as you asked.

The headmaster let out an old man's laugh at your words, "I see that I have a humorous student!" He deflected the question, "I shall return to researching, don't go wandering around now!" He walked over to the door.

Your eyes widened, "Wait, what about foo-"


Cue the door slamming.

You groaned, stomping the ground as Bowie and Cassandra came over to comfort you. You couldn't help but feel the sting of tears arrive when you started thinking.

"I'm back at square one." You sighed tiredly. It was exactly like this when your mother-in-law kicked you out of your own home after the death of your husband.

You shook your head and rolled up your sleeves, "Well, we can't just stand here and think this place will fix itself." You announced, your girls following your actions.

You picked up a wooden staff of sorts, attaching a blanket around the end. "Cassandra, you get the spider webs," You handed your new invention to the strangely excited Cassandra, "Bowie, you go check if we have a working bathroom."

Bowie saluted, "Okay!" Cassandra was already gathering spider webs, carrying said spiders on the staff as she muttered about a potion requiring webs.

"Remember, if anything happens, what do we do, girls?" You questioned before they left your sight, causing them to pause.

"Kick the threat in the crotch!" Bowie chirped. You waved your wrist, "No, the other thing." Bowie giggled as Cassandra spoke up.

"Cuss at it until our tongue breaks off and their ears bleed?"

You hummed, "That was one time, and you did it beautifully, no tongues breaking at all." You sighed proudly.

"But the answer is: Strike, Scream and Run."

Cassandra and Bowie nodded, "Got it, Momma!" They spoke simultaneously.

"I'll shove the spiders up their noses," Cassandra grinned. Bowie followed with, "And I'll practice my knife throwing! I think I still have two in my pocket…" She mumbled with a pout as she rushed down the hallway.

You sweat dropped, "Now I'll make dinner and clean the beds after." You muttered, making your way to where you thought the kitchen was.

On your way to the kitchen, you heard the front door open and close. It was loud enough to echo throughout the house, so you knew that your girls were hiding like you trained them to.

You quickly grabbed a pot, silently stepping back to the living room with the intent of denting someone's skull in.

"Gra! It's really comin' down!"

An irritated grin conquered your lips, 'No fucking way…'

You walked around the corner, spotting the raccoon cat from earlier. "Fucking fireball from hell." You groaned, dropping your arms when you remembered how little of a threat this thing was.

His back was facing you, so he jumped in surprise, whipping around and throwing a fireball in your direction. You nonchalantly raised up your pot, catching the flames within the cooking tool with ease. Resting your free hand on your hip, you spoke.

"Not to be that bitch, but why are you still here?"

The raccoon huffed, "As if I'm gonna let something like getting kicked out discourage me! You got another thing coming, sister!" He crossed his arms.

You gestured for him to follow you as you yelled out that it was safe for the girls to come out. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so intent on getting in?" You rested the still-hot pan on the stove and turned back to the raccoon, who leapt up the counter.

"I'm a genius, it's practically in my future to become the greatest magician! I waited for the Ebony Carriage to arrive… but…" His smug expression faded as he seemed to vividly remember the sadness he felt.

You inwardly hissed, remembering the same feeling, when five year-old you would wait outside everyday for hours on end for your mother to return from her hometown.

The pain you felt in your chest when you cried yourself to sleep, questioning if you were the reason she left or if the life she was living now was better than what you and your father had to give.

You shook your head, "Don't let stuff like that define your worth, furball." You patted the raccoon's head right as he changed his expression.

He waved his hand angrily, "The Great Grim does not need fluffy words, I know this school just doesn't have good taste!" He walked back and forth across the counter, "Not letting me learn would be a disgrace for the humans, they'd be missing out."

You nodded along as you looked in the cupboards for anything to make.

Out of the blue, Grim screeched. You turned, watching as he jumped off of the counter yelling his little gibberish.

"It's so cold! There's water leaking from the ceiling!" He cried out as he used his paws as makeshift umbrellas. "My adorable ear fire will be out if it keeps doing this!" He whined, hiding in a cupboard.

You sighed, placing dirty cups and bowls where the water was dripping. "If you have ear fire, then is your ear wax just ash?" You questioned, a curious look in your face.

Grim paused, "Uhh, sometimes, bUT FOCUS ON THE REAL ISSUE! Why aren't you using magic to fix the leaks?!" He exclaimed with an angry pout.

"Yeah, I can't use magic." You hummed as Cassandra and Bowie ran into the kitchen. Bowie went first as Grim cackled to himself, "There are two bathrooms, and they both work!" She grinned.

Cassandra followed, "I've gotten all the webs." She grinned, holding up a staff with the end absolutely covered in spider webs. "A lot of them didn't have any bugs, so I kept those." She added.

You nodded, "I know you're already starting a spider farm, so at least make sure there's a room for that." You said, followed by Cassandra practically jumping for joy.

Turning to Grim, you barked, "If you're gonna stay here, you gotta work."

"Whaaaaat? No way! Unless you get a can of tuna for me, I'm not doing anything!" Grim smirked, relaxing in the cupboard.

You wordlessly grabbed him by the scruff, pulling him out of the cupboard. "Hey! What are you doing?! Put me down!" He yelled, wriggling around in your grasp.

"I get transported into another world, this dump of a home is my only choice for shelter, and you think you're gonna just sit around and expect me to run at your beck and call?" You were beyond pissed with this thing, and your girls knew better than to step in when you get this mad. 

"Aww come on, it's not so bad." A new voice whined.

You twisted, eyes spotting three ghosts grinning at you. Grim screamed at the sight, "Eek! GHOSTS?!" Your grip loosened, and the furry fire thing wriggled out of your hold.

"Hey there, ghosts. House treating you well?" You fixed your appearance and greeted as Bowie rushed to your side.

Cassandra asked the shortest one if it was alright to put her hand through them. They nodded, and she instantly thrusted her hand through the ghost with awe in her eyes.

The other two continued talking to you, "Well, it's very boring without new ghost pals." One of them spoke. You nodded, "I'd love to be a ghost pal, but I have responsibilities, ya know?"

The skinny ghost spoke up, "We gotcha! Nothing's more important than family." He held a thumbs up.

The fat one loomed over Grim, "I've always wanted a ghost cat for a pet." He grinned.

Grim yelped and raced between your feet, prepared to throw a ball of fire if needed. You chuckled, "Not yet, my guys. This little thing wants to stay here, so I wanna put him to work. If he doesn't, you can have him. Deal?" You suggested.

All three grinned, "Deal!" They chirped in creepy unison.

Grim squealed in panic, "No, I'm good! I can clean a room or two, just give me a can of tuna!" He sneered at the end of his sentence.

You sighed, "I'm sure they got a school store, but I'm not even a student, so I doubt I could go and get you tuna." You shrugged, "Looks like you're stuck with my cooking."

Bowie peeked, "Momma's cooking is super good! She makes the best rice and beans! Her mangú is amazing!" She grinned at the thought.

Cassandra added, "Don't forget her tostones." She muttered, fumbling with her sleeves again.

You hissed as your stomach rumbled, "You guys are making me hungry."

You looked over to the ghosts, "You wouldn't happen to have any plantains around, would you?"

The shorter one shook his head, "No, but we're good friends with the ghosts in the school. We could get you stuff from the kitchens." He offered, followed by the other ghosts nodding.

You grinned, "That would be perfect," Pause, "How much do I need to pay? What currency does this world take?" You began to mutter at a speed unheard of.

The ghost's sweat dropped, "Don't worry, it's all free! All ingredients have either been grown on or pre-bought by the school itself." The skinny one chuckled.

"Besides, Crowley needs to take responsibility for you. He can't do that if you have no food." The fat one built on.

You quickly gave in, "As long as you three are being honest..." You trailed off.

They all crossed where their hearts were supposed to be, "Ghosts Honor!"

You smiled, gratefully taking the paper and pen that one of the ghosts gave you. "I seriously appreciate this, you guys. I owe you one."

"No problem!"

"By the way, the fridge and stove still work perfectly. And the water is clean!"

"That's a huge relief!" You finished up the small list, and handed it to the short ghost. "Again, thank you so much!" You called as they playfully saluted and flew out into the night sky.

"Out of all the ghosts I've come across, those three were the nicest sweeties by far." You put your hands on your hips as you reflected on your past interactions.

"Momma, are we okay?" Cassandra spoke up. You looked back, squatting down to her height.

She had put on the hoodie of her ceremonial robes in an attempt to hide her face. Still, you could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes as she struggled to keep it in.

She was scared, she was hungry and tired. You three were in a whole other universe, where the rules were different and all these faces were blurred by her teary vision.

You've always told her that it was safe to pour out her feelings, but after her 6-month stay with her Aunt, she had never been more silent.

You regretted that day so much, it haunted you every night. Because of how your sister-in-law treated her, Cassandra had begun to lose faith in her worth as a person.

For months, you've slowly helped her come back out of the hole her Aunt forced her into, but the world was a scary place to her now.

She found comfort in the supernatural and magic; everything fantasy-related seems to bring back the girl you remembered from so long ago.

But now, her dreams were turning on her, and she was fearful of that.

You smiled, patting her head. "Yes, Cassandra. We are okay. Even if things turn out wrong, I'm not letting anything get near you or Bowie." You pulled her and Bowie into a hug, "I got you."

The grumbling of your stomach ruined the moment, "Damn," You laughed, "Let's use some buckets for all of this leaking water as we wait." Bowie cheered at this, running ahead to find said buckets.

Cassandra slowly nodded, holding your hand tightly as you began the search.

"...You promise?"

Grim interrupted the moment, "You guys are way too emotional, you're making the Great Grin's ears hurt!" He yowled.

You sneered, "This will be my first time eating your species, I hope you're not endangered." You reached out for Grim, who leapt onto Bowie's shoulder.

"I didn't say anything!"




It hadn't been five minutes when the ghosts returned, holding baskets of the ingredients you requested. "We're back~!" They sang.

You clapped your hands as you set down the last bucket, "Thanks, you guys!" You grinned while they placed the baskets on the table. You peeked in, your heart jumping out of your chest when you saw the familiar ingredients.

"Girls, get ready for dinner!"

The two girls gleamed, "We'll go make the beds!" They spoke in unison, racing up the stairs. Grim rushed after them, "I get the biggest bed!"

The ghosts chuckled at how they practically had to climb the staircase. "Ahh, I remember when my great grandson was that small." One of them sighed in remembrance.

You grinned, already cooking three different foods at once. "Really? What's your family like, if you don't mind me asking?"


~Yet another time skip brought to you by you creating a lifetime bond with the ghosts in a matter of minutes~


A knock on the door caught your attention, "Come in if you're not a serial killer!" You called out, followed by the door opening and closing.

"Good evening, I have graciously brought you su-" Crowley paused, jaw hitting the ground as he saw the food you had ready on the table.

You hissed, "Oooh, I'm sorry about that, sir. We were getting hungry, so I kinda took over." You watched as he set the large container bowl of cheese and broccoli soup down.

"Would you like some? I made a bit more than necessary." You chuckled, "You don't have any allergies, do you?" You prepped up each plate evenly.

Rice and beans, tostones, mangú and slices of salami with morir sañando as a drink. Most of this stuff was typically breakfast, but it could be enjoyed anytime.

Crowley snapped out of his trance as you called down your daughters. He shook his head, "I appreciate the invitation, but it is unprofessional as a teacher to dine so friendly with a stu-"

You held up a finger as your daughters raced down and thanked you before getting in their seats. Grim hopped onto Bowie's lap, growling impatiently as said girl kept him from starting to eat.

"Imma stop you right there, sir. I'm not a student, remember? For now, I'm just a soul who wants to share my hard work with others.

"Think of it as an early thank you gift for making an effort to get me back home." You shrugged, sliding a plate over to him.

He slowly sat down, "I recommend the rice and beans first!" Bowie grinned over to him.

You couldn't help but smile as he silently followed her recommendation, scooping up a nice spoonful of rice and beans before taking a bite.

His eyes burst wide open- were those tears?!

"Amazing!" He gasped, trying to neatly take another spoonful, this time of the mangú. "I've never tasted so much love in a dish before!" Crowley looked up at you with a smile.

"Thank you so much! I will make this a dish option in the cafeteria!" He announced as Bowie and Cassandra gorged like it was their last meal on death row. "Do you think you could teach the cafeteria ghosts how to make this?"

You were flabbergasted, "Um, sure!" You quickly added, "Under one condition."

He nodded as he took more spoonfuls.

"I would like for my daughters and I to learn at this school."