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She's Not From Here (Various Twisted Wonderland x MILF Reader)

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The library was something out of a fantasy movie, with the cliche floating books and the old scrolls reading themselves in hushed whispers. You smiled when Cassandra looked torn between sticking close to you and running out to explore her long-awaited fantasies.

Meanwhile, Bowie was behind you, trying to pull the hem of her robes out of a snapping book that resembled a dog of sorts. She tried to keep quiet, but her loud whispers for the book to let go reached your ears.

You looked back, spotting her playing tug-of-war with a book. You sighed with a grin, "How about rubbing its spine?" You had seen it happen in a movie before, maybe it worked here?

Cassandra rushed over excitedly, gently rubbing the spine of the book as she watched it's every move. The book started calming down, before it finally released the cloth from its strange mouth. Cassandra giggled and gave the dog book a pat before it pranced off.

"Not a single thing!" You heard the headmaster exclaim as he peeked at the many maps around him. Judging by their similarities and detail, they appeared to be maps of the same place over time. 

"This home of yours isn't in any of our books, and it seems as though it doesn't even exist in our maps." He peered over to you with a suspicious side eye.

"You're not lying to me, are you?"

You raised an irritated brow, "Sir, do you perceive me to be the type of woman to lie about something like this?" You crossed your arms as you stared back with anger.

"Oh, because I'd love to wake up in a school when I've already learned what I needed. And not just any school, but an all magical boys school." You groaned as the headmaster shriveled back, "Just another Monday for me."

He gulped, "O-Of course! My sincerest apologies! It's just that many young women have tried to sneak in, and I d-didn't quite sense your distress."

You sighed, waving it off, "It's fine."

When you were in fact, not fine.

The headmaster looked back at his books with caution. "Well, judging by what I'm hearing and reading, you may have come here from another planet, maybe even from another world…" He trailed off as he continued reading.

You raised a brow, "I think that happened to a cousin, haven't heard from her since we were ten." You mumbled.

"Do you have any identification, a license for a magic car or a name on a shoe? You don't seem to have anything on you…" The headmaster questioned.

Your eyes widened, and you felt inside the pockets of the robes only to feel nothing. The pockets of your clothes beneath the robes were empty too.

Ohhh crap.

Your head shot up, "Nope." Your stomach dropped a bit, "My phone is gone too."

The headmaster crossed his arms, "And judging by your confusion of how this world works, it's not a magic phone." He sighed.

"This is a major concern, I cannot allow a person such as yourself to stay here. Still, I can't just toss out a penniless student as an educator. Especially when you have no form of communication."

He couldn't help but smile, "For I am so gracious!"

You nodded along, remembering your mother-in-law's similar behavior.

The headmaster perked up randomly, "Ah! That's right!" He exclaimed, causing Bowie to jump back in surprise.

You raised a brow when he didn't continue, "That's right… what?"

The headmaster coughed awkwardly, "Apologies, there is an unused building on campus. It used to be a dormitory, so it just needs a little clean up before you sleep in it." He explained with a smile.

"For now, I will let you stay there! Meanwhile, I will continue researching for a way to get you back home!" He laughed to himself with joy. "My graciousness is limitless, I'm a role model to all educators!"

You coughed to show you were still there, snapping the now flustered male out of his fantasy.

"R-right! Let us head to the dormitory. It may be old, but its charm makes it special." He marched towards the exit.

You tried to ignore the upcoming headache you were feeling and followed after the older man. Bowie and Cassandra walked after you, hand in hand.

It was a good five minutes of walking before you came across an old house that appeared to be falling apart as you stared at it. You shuddered at the thought of how many bugs were in there, as well as the mountains of dust that would get in your hair if you went in.

Oh god, was the plumbing even working anymore?

"The charm is immaculate," You sighed, tugging at a strand of your kinky hair. "Even my millionaire husband couldn't afford something so charming." You muttered.

He was incredibly rich, just not famous. Then there was the fact that he's dead and his mother burned his will so that she could take the money meant to go to you and your daughters.

Still, this house was ten times better than what she tried to give you.

"Right right, let's head inside." The headmaster hummed, strolling into the worn down house with a skip in his step. You shrugged, maybe this was like that one tent in Harry Potter.

You walked in after the headmaster, and nope, it was not like the movies at all.

"This will at least keep you out of the rain." The headmaster coughed, waving the dust away from his face.

You released a weak chuckle, practically feeling every little speck of dust that landed in your hair. Hey, this couldn't possibly be as bad as that one time your cousin dumped glitter on you.

"You got a magic feather duster around here?" You asked with a dull tone, hopelessness in your voice as you asked.

The headmaster let out an old man's laugh at your words, "I see that I have a humorous student!" He deflected the question, "I shall return to researching, don't go wandering around now!" He walked over to the door.

Your eyes widened, "Wait, what about foo-"


Cue the door slamming.

You groaned, stomping the ground as Bowie and Cassandra came over to comfort you. You couldn't help but feel the sting of tears arrive when you started thinking.

"I'm back at square one." You sighed tiredly. It was exactly like this when your mother-in-law kicked you out of your own home after the death of your husband.

You shook your head and rolled up your sleeves, "Well, we can't just stand here and think this place will fix itself." You announced, your girls following your actions.

You picked up a wooden staff of sorts, attaching a blanket around the end. "Cassandra, you get the spider webs," You handed your new invention to the strangely excited Cassandra, "Bowie, you go check if we have a working bathroom."

Bowie saluted, "Okay!" Cassandra was already gathering spider webs, carrying said spiders on the staff as she muttered about a potion requiring webs.

"Remember, if anything happens, what do we do, girls?" You questioned before they left your sight, causing them to pause.

"Kick the threat in the crotch!" Bowie chirped. You waved your wrist, "No, the other thing." Bowie giggled as Cassandra spoke up.

"Cuss at it until our tongue breaks off and their ears bleed?"

You hummed, "That was one time, and you did it beautifully, no tongues breaking at all." You sighed proudly.

"But the answer is: Strike, Scream and Run."

Cassandra and Bowie nodded, "Got it, Momma!" They spoke simultaneously.

"I'll shove the spiders up their noses," Cassandra grinned. Bowie followed with, "And I'll practice my knife throwing! I think I still have two in my pocket…" She mumbled with a pout as she rushed down the hallway.

You sweat dropped, "Now I'll make dinner and clean the beds after." You muttered, making your way to where you thought the kitchen was.

On your way to the kitchen, you heard the front door open and close. It was loud enough to echo throughout the house, so you knew that your girls were hiding like you trained them to.

You quickly grabbed a pot, silently stepping back to the living room with the intent of denting someone's skull in.

"Gra! It's really comin' down!"

An irritated grin conquered your lips, 'No fucking way…'

You walked around the corner, spotting the raccoon cat from earlier. "Fucking fireball from hell." You groaned, dropping your arms when you remembered how little of a threat this thing was.

His back was facing you, so he jumped in surprise, whipping around and throwing a fireball in your direction. You nonchalantly raised up your pot, catching the flames within the cooking tool with ease. Resting your free hand on your hip, you spoke.

"Not to be that bitch, but why are you still here?"

The raccoon huffed, "As if I'm gonna let something like getting kicked out discourage me! You got another thing coming, sister!" He crossed his arms.

You gestured for him to follow you as you yelled out that it was safe for the girls to come out. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so intent on getting in?" You rested the still-hot pan on the stove and turned back to the raccoon, who leapt up the counter.

"I'm a genius, it's practically in my future to become the greatest magician! I waited for the Ebony Carriage to arrive… but…" His smug expression faded as he seemed to vividly remember the sadness he felt.

You inwardly hissed, remembering the same feeling, when five year-old you would wait outside everyday for hours on end for your mother to return from her hometown.

The pain you felt in your chest when you cried yourself to sleep, questioning if you were the reason she left or if the life she was living now was better than what you and your father had to give.

You shook your head, "Don't let stuff like that define your worth, furball." You patted the raccoon's head right as he changed his expression.

He waved his hand angrily, "The Great Grim does not need fluffy words, I know this school just doesn't have good taste!" He walked back and forth across the counter, "Not letting me learn would be a disgrace for the humans, they'd be missing out."

You nodded along as you looked in the cupboards for anything to make.

Out of the blue, Grim screeched. You turned, watching as he jumped off of the counter yelling his little gibberish.

"It's so cold! There's water leaking from the ceiling!" He cried out as he used his paws as makeshift umbrellas. "My adorable ear fire will be out if it keeps doing this!" He whined, hiding in a cupboard.

You sighed, placing dirty cups and bowls where the water was dripping. "If you have ear fire, then is your ear wax just ash?" You questioned, a curious look in your face.

Grim paused, "Uhh, sometimes, bUT FOCUS ON THE REAL ISSUE! Why aren't you using magic to fix the leaks?!" He exclaimed with an angry pout.

"Yeah, I can't use magic." You hummed as Cassandra and Bowie ran into the kitchen. Bowie went first as Grim cackled to himself, "There are two bathrooms, and they both work!" She grinned.

Cassandra followed, "I've gotten all the webs." She grinned, holding up a staff with the end absolutely covered in spider webs. "A lot of them didn't have any bugs, so I kept those." She added.

You nodded, "I know you're already starting a spider farm, so at least make sure there's a room for that." You said, followed by Cassandra practically jumping for joy.

Turning to Grim, you barked, "If you're gonna stay here, you gotta work."

"Whaaaaat? No way! Unless you get a can of tuna for me, I'm not doing anything!" Grim smirked, relaxing in the cupboard.

You wordlessly grabbed him by the scruff, pulling him out of the cupboard. "Hey! What are you doing?! Put me down!" He yelled, wriggling around in your grasp.

"I get transported into another world, this dump of a home is my only choice for shelter, and you think you're gonna just sit around and expect me to run at your beck and call?" You were beyond pissed with this thing, and your girls knew better than to step in when you get this mad. 

"Aww come on, it's not so bad." A new voice whined.

You twisted, eyes spotting three ghosts grinning at you. Grim screamed at the sight, "Eek! GHOSTS?!" Your grip loosened, and the furry fire thing wriggled out of your hold.

"Hey there, ghosts. House treating you well?" You fixed your appearance and greeted as Bowie rushed to your side.

Cassandra asked the shortest one if it was alright to put her hand through them. They nodded, and she instantly thrusted her hand through the ghost with awe in her eyes.

The other two continued talking to you, "Well, it's very boring without new ghost pals." One of them spoke. You nodded, "I'd love to be a ghost pal, but I have responsibilities, ya know?"

The skinny ghost spoke up, "We gotcha! Nothing's more important than family." He held a thumbs up.

The fat one loomed over Grim, "I've always wanted a ghost cat for a pet." He grinned.

Grim yelped and raced between your feet, prepared to throw a ball of fire if needed. You chuckled, "Not yet, my guys. This little thing wants to stay here, so I wanna put him to work. If he doesn't, you can have him. Deal?" You suggested.

All three grinned, "Deal!" They chirped in creepy unison.

Grim squealed in panic, "No, I'm good! I can clean a room or two, just give me a can of tuna!" He sneered at the end of his sentence.

You sighed, "I'm sure they got a school store, but I'm not even a student, so I doubt I could go and get you tuna." You shrugged, "Looks like you're stuck with my cooking."

Bowie peeked, "Momma's cooking is super good! She makes the best rice and beans! Her mangú is amazing!" She grinned at the thought.

Cassandra added, "Don't forget her tostones." She muttered, fumbling with her sleeves again.

You hissed as your stomach rumbled, "You guys are making me hungry."

You looked over to the ghosts, "You wouldn't happen to have any plantains around, would you?"

The shorter one shook his head, "No, but we're good friends with the ghosts in the school. We could get you stuff from the kitchens." He offered, followed by the other ghosts nodding.

You grinned, "That would be perfect," Pause, "How much do I need to pay? What currency does this world take?" You began to mutter at a speed unheard of.

The ghost's sweat dropped, "Don't worry, it's all free! All ingredients have either been grown on or pre-bought by the school itself." The skinny one chuckled.

"Besides, Crowley needs to take responsibility for you. He can't do that if you have no food." The fat one built on.

You quickly gave in, "As long as you three are being honest..." You trailed off.

They all crossed where their hearts were supposed to be, "Ghosts Honor!"

You smiled, gratefully taking the paper and pen that one of the ghosts gave you. "I seriously appreciate this, you guys. I owe you one."

"No problem!"

"By the way, the fridge and stove still work perfectly. And the water is clean!"

"That's a huge relief!" You finished up the small list, and handed it to the short ghost. "Again, thank you so much!" You called as they playfully saluted and flew out into the night sky.

"Out of all the ghosts I've come across, those three were the nicest sweeties by far." You put your hands on your hips as you reflected on your past interactions.

"Momma, are we okay?" Cassandra spoke up. You looked back, squatting down to her height.

She had put on the hoodie of her ceremonial robes in an attempt to hide her face. Still, you could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes as she struggled to keep it in.

She was scared, she was hungry and tired. You three were in a whole other universe, where the rules were different and all these faces were blurred by her teary vision.

You've always told her that it was safe to pour out her feelings, but after her 6-month stay with her Aunt, she had never been more silent.

You regretted that day so much, it haunted you every night. Because of how your sister-in-law treated her, Cassandra had begun to lose faith in her worth as a person.

For months, you've slowly helped her come back out of the hole her Aunt forced her into, but the world was a scary place to her now.

She found comfort in the supernatural and magic; everything fantasy-related seems to bring back the girl you remembered from so long ago.

But now, her dreams were turning on her, and she was fearful of that.

You smiled, patting her head. "Yes, Cassandra. We are okay. Even if things turn out wrong, I'm not letting anything get near you or Bowie." You pulled her and Bowie into a hug, "I got you."

The grumbling of your stomach ruined the moment, "Damn," You laughed, "Let's use some buckets for all of this leaking water as we wait." Bowie cheered at this, running ahead to find said buckets.

Cassandra slowly nodded, holding your hand tightly as you began the search.

"...You promise?"

Grim interrupted the moment, "You guys are way too emotional, you're making the Great Grin's ears hurt!" He yowled.

You sneered, "This will be my first time eating your species, I hope you're not endangered." You reached out for Grim, who leapt onto Bowie's shoulder.

"I didn't say anything!"




It hadn't been five minutes when the ghosts returned, holding baskets of the ingredients you requested. "We're back~!" They sang.

You clapped your hands as you set down the last bucket, "Thanks, you guys!" You grinned while they placed the baskets on the table. You peeked in, your heart jumping out of your chest when you saw the familiar ingredients.

"Girls, get ready for dinner!"

The two girls gleamed, "We'll go make the beds!" They spoke in unison, racing up the stairs. Grim rushed after them, "I get the biggest bed!"

The ghosts chuckled at how they practically had to climb the staircase. "Ahh, I remember when my great grandson was that small." One of them sighed in remembrance.

You grinned, already cooking three different foods at once. "Really? What's your family like, if you don't mind me asking?"


~Yet another time skip brought to you by you creating a lifetime bond with the ghosts in a matter of minutes~


A knock on the door caught your attention, "Come in if you're not a serial killer!" You called out, followed by the door opening and closing.

"Good evening, I have graciously brought you su-" Crowley paused, jaw hitting the ground as he saw the food you had ready on the table.

You hissed, "Oooh, I'm sorry about that, sir. We were getting hungry, so I kinda took over." You watched as he set the large container bowl of cheese and broccoli soup down.

"Would you like some? I made a bit more than necessary." You chuckled, "You don't have any allergies, do you?" You prepped up each plate evenly.

Rice and beans, tostones, mangú and slices of salami with morir sañando as a drink. Most of this stuff was typically breakfast, but it could be enjoyed anytime.

Crowley snapped out of his trance as you called down your daughters. He shook his head, "I appreciate the invitation, but it is unprofessional as a teacher to dine so friendly with a stu-"

You held up a finger as your daughters raced down and thanked you before getting in their seats. Grim hopped onto Bowie's lap, growling impatiently as said girl kept him from starting to eat.

"Imma stop you right there, sir. I'm not a student, remember? For now, I'm just a soul who wants to share my hard work with others.

"Think of it as an early thank you gift for making an effort to get me back home." You shrugged, sliding a plate over to him.

He slowly sat down, "I recommend the rice and beans first!" Bowie grinned over to him.

You couldn't help but smile as he silently followed her recommendation, scooping up a nice spoonful of rice and beans before taking a bite.

His eyes burst wide open- were those tears?!

"Amazing!" He gasped, trying to neatly take another spoonful, this time of the mangú. "I've never tasted so much love in a dish before!" Crowley looked up at you with a smile.

"Thank you so much! I will make this a dish option in the cafeteria!" He announced as Bowie and Cassandra gorged like it was their last meal on death row. "Do you think you could teach the cafeteria ghosts how to make this?"

You were flabbergasted, "Um, sure!" You quickly added, "Under one condition."

He nodded as he took more spoonfuls.

"I would like for my daughters and I to learn at this school."