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August

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My mother has always told me to not tamper with things that aren't mine. It's the basic unspoken playground rule 'Do not take what is not yours.' And she always followed that rule, she followed rules everyday of her life.

 

She followed the narrative that her mother has written for her.

'Olivia, you should focus on your studies.'

'Olivia, those girls are a bad influence on you. Stay away from them!'

'Olivia, don't do this, don't do that!'

'Olivia, your singing will never amount to anything stick to acting and modelling.'

Each and every rule that has been made for her, she followed. Olivia often thinks that her mother is living her dreams through her and it makes her nauseous. She craves independence, she wanted to make a choice that was hers.

 

Thankfully, a recording artist heard her sing in a segment that she did one day and offered her to release a song.

And then she met her. Her smile makes her heart flutter, The thought of her pink hair makes her grin in awe. It doesn't help that she sings well and she was the epitome of kindness as well.

Rosé was what she wanted, she is the one thing that she's willing to break all the rules written for her. She was willing to go the distance.

 

She wants to be serenaded? No problem. She wants chocolates, teddy bears or jewelries? She got that in the bag.

 

She's ready to make love her battlefield. Love is a battlefield and she was it's soldier. She's going to keep fighting for Rosé no matter what that's what she promise to herself.

The only problem was Rosé was somebody else's. It makes her sick to her stomach.

So when she saw cracks in their relationship she tried her hardest to squeeze in tiny doubts and insert hurtful remarks just to make the dents a little bit wider.

She knew what she was doing, She knew that it was wrong. But what's life without a little spice? She told herself countless of times that it wouldn't hurt if she try to break them up with just subtle things.

But it never seemed to work, nothing ever worked. She can see that Denali and Rosé loved each other. And it kills her.

Sometimes desperation leads you to do something so sinister it makes you question the validity of yourself. And desperation led her to do this, to kiss a drunk woman, a taken drunk woman in front of a bunch of reporters and their colleagues. She was left with no choice, Rosé would have no choice in the matter. She knows that Rosé has worked hard for this and would just not throw away her life's work just for Denali.

As Olivia puts her mouth on her, Rosé has fought back with the same intensity and it would've been magical if she didn't mutter the words that her mouth mustered afterwards. "I love you, Denali." after saying that she grinned widely and drunkenly utters word of love that was for another woman.

The morning after was chaos, they were hounded by camera's. It was quite a storyline after all.

She can see the Headlines now.

HEADLINE: Rosè the young broadway singer and the popstar diva Olivia Lux has been always been together alongside each other for years only to get their cover blown by a kiss.

It was surreal, magical even. Well at least for her. But she saw Rosé's face full of tears the next day. Anxiety clouding her.

Olivia just watched her silently in the bench accross the room. Rosé kept on calling Denali, she didn't eat. Didn't talk to anyone. She wanted to leave but she was stopped by their manager saying that their contract warranted them to stay for a few more days.

"I don't care! I don't give a shit. I told you already if Denali's not by my side this fucking means nothing to me!" Rosé said whilst breathing heavily.

The older woman's eyes soften with that declaration. "I'm sorry Rosè there's nothing I can do."

"Tamisha, please. please. I can't lose her please." Rosè utter those words like a mantra.

Tamisha's eyes has softened "I know, Rosie. I'm sorry." Tamisha looks like this scene is hurting her so she left.

Tayce, Lemon and Priyanka is trying to help soothe Rosé to talk her out of leaving.

"You know that you'll pay the 10,000 Dollars penalty if you leave right now, right?" Priyanka tried to reasoned

"I know and I don't care." Rosé responded. Lemon just stroked her hair and sat beside her.

 

A'whora has sat beside me whilst sipping her Strawberry milkshake. For awhile A'whora just looked in front of her and watched as the chaos of a brokenhearted Rosé overwhelm her vision. After awhile the three girls have coaxed Rosè to go to her room. A'whora stood up and fixed her hair, I expected her to be mad at me after all her and Denali are pretty close.

She offered me a smile, leaned in my ears and whispered. "I hope you're happy because if they can't mend this Rosé will loathe you forever. I never thought someone can stoop this low. She grinned widely again as she retracts "See ya later, Olivia." She uttered whilst walking towards Rosé's room.

I sighed as dread overwhelm my entirety. 

I should be happy, I should be happy, I should be happy

Why am I not happy?

Why is this not making me happy?

 

I close my eyes as realization hits me

 

What have I done?

What did I do?

What have I done?

---------

August has slipped away pretty easily, It felt like a bottle of wine slipping in her hands as she opens it.

The relationship that I have with Rosé has vanished. I lost her, we're lost in tiny memories that I stored in my brain.

 

How could a single decision cost her everything?

How could a single decision ruin somebody else's life?

How could a single decision hurt the love of her life?

Just---

How?

 

"I lost her." I whimpered

"How can you lose her when she was never yours?" Tayce utters.

"She wasn't yours to lose, Olivia." She added

"I know, I know that she wasn't mine to lose."

"I know that." I whispered silently.