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Traitor

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What have I done wrong?  

What did I do?    

What did I do?     

What did I do?    

  

Those are the words swirling in Denali's mind. 

  

How could she?    

How-----    

How am I not still enough?    

  

It was on the news, on the lips of everyone she knew and faceless strangers. 

HEADLINE:  The young Broadway star Rosé and the new and upcoming pop star diva Olivia Lux shared a kiss at the red-carpet last night!  

 

Dread and hurt has spread like wildfire in her entire body.

The words are everywhere, In her twitter, her Facebook, her Instagram hell---- even her tumblr and stan account.  The font might be different and some headlines might have different captions but it only tells her one thing. She kissed somebody else, somebody else who wasn't her. 

  

Denali didn't know she was gasping for air until she saw that Kahmora was calling her, with shaky hands she declined the call. Then Mik started ringing her up to until all their mutual friends are leaving her messages and calling her. 

    

She read every single article, watched every video that was associated with Rosé and Olivia. She knew their little set up can end up like this, knew the possibility that Rosé  might fall in love with somebody new when she tours all over the world whilst she was in Chicago. She felt like she was stuck in a vast of nothingness.  

Even when she closes her eyes she can still see the headlines vividly.

Rosé's  management actually wanted them to break up they advised that to Rosé  but she resisted said that if she says yes to their every whim then what would she stand for. For Denali that was a declaration of love but thinking about it now, if she really did love her why fight for her then only to ruin her now? Only to rip her heart in pieces and shred her soul into shards. 

She could respect her decision if she decided to leave her for something greater, for her dream. She has always imagined how Rosé would leave her but never in this shade of betrayal.

Rosé's management told her that it's only wise to break up since it will be an advantage for her career, She almost let go of Rosé because she wanted the best for her but the other girl has fought against it. She said that without Denali this is all for nothing. So they compromised and hid their relationship to the media.

It's not like she doesn't know this is coming, she knows but she shrugged it off in the back of her mind, tossed into the darkest realms of her worst fears. She can tell that Olivia was in love with her Rosie, she saw the long glances she gave her girlfriend, the way she just let her hand linger a little bit longer in Rosé's shoulder, the way that she always seems to ask for Rosé. She knows,  she knows.  

Maybe it was her fault for not talking to her girlfriend about, for shrugging it off. The white lies, the phone calls they kept in Rosés private phone, the way she instantly always nods when she spit out white lies outright to her face. Maybe it was all her fault for always trying to excuse her girlfriend’s actions. 

She thought she would wail and scream until her throat become soar, surprisingly. She doesn’t cry, she just stared in oblivion whilst clutching her chest, she badly wants to talk to her to try and understand why she did this to her when the only thing she did in the entirety of their relationship is to love her. 

It's not like nobody has told her about this their mutual friends has told her their opinions about the set up even Rosé's sister Jan and Lagoona has utter their share of suspicions about Olivia but she shrugged it off and maybe she shouldn't have.

This betrayal is a long time coming, the cold lonely nights, the empty bed she comes home to every night and the fact that they haven’t talked for almost a month now has finally led to its course. 

She knew that it might come to this when Rosé told her about the showmance that her and Olivia would be playing up for the cameras but her trust for her girlfriend always suffices her doubts. 

Rosé started to call her multiple times but she just sat there and closed her eyes. She declined all her calls and took out her suitcase. 

For a brief moment she just stared at the ceiling wandering why her first impulse was not to talk to Rosé and fix them because that was the routine that they're used to. For a brief moment a sense of panic arises in her and that made her want to call Rosé. 

She wanted to scream at her, to get mad but at the end she decided against it.

She types out a text to Mik and Kahmora telling them to come to their apartment.  A few minutes later they arrive with worried faces and chocolate chip cookies ice cream in tow. 

When they saw her suitcase, they shared a worried glance at each other. 

I only smiled at them and utter a thank you for getting at my place at such short notice. 

"We brought ice cream and also I hope you don't mind but---" Mik sentence was cut short when Jan and Jackie appeared at her doorstep

Jan hugged her tightly and Jackie pulls her away.

"Thank you for coming guys, Help me pack?" I mutter with a grin that show my dimples.