Longing, worry, and lust had led them to this very moment. The first time Elliot Stabler had sex with Olivia Benson. They were just inside her apartment, with him pinning her to the wall. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, bringing his face closer to hers and his hands pawing her ass and pulling her hips against his as their mouths fought for dominance and preluded the main event.
It had started simply, really. He had worried about her. Worried enough that he had offered to drive her home and she had accepted; which wasn't a daily occurrence. Their latest case had affected her and he had seen her demeanor after she had witnessed Ellen Travis confronting her father in the interview room. Cragen had told her to go home early, even take a couple of days off if she needed them. Olivia had thanked their Captain but politely refused. She didn't want to show any weaknesses. She was more than capable to do her job, no matter how hard it got. 'There is no crying in baseball', Elliot had told her once. She would push forward, never stopping until justice was brought to the victims. Until she knew she had done everything she had possibly could.
Elliot Stabler knew he had become protective of her but hadn't realized just how much until this case. He was always hovering over her, even more lately. Unwelcomed but not unpleasant thoughts had begun to stir something deep inside him each time his mind got full of her, sometimes at night as he laid in bed and tried to sleep, his wife sleeping right next to him. He felt guilty for letting those thoughts enter his mind, but they were becoming impossible to stop.
The victim, Gretchen Quinn had been all alone. A lot like Olivia, even if their circumstances were different. He kept coming across references and similarities that also applied to his partner's life. He couldn't even focus on his family when he went home at night. His mind very much on the damned case. On her. He shared facts about it with his wife, bits and pieces mostly, but not the whole truth. Not how he truly was thinking about Olivia, about her single and lonely life. Just like Gretchen's, who didn't even have anyone listed as her emergency contact. He wondered who was Olivia's emergency contact. Maybe she had listed her mother, but knowing her as he did, he could bet that wasn't the case.
"Oh yeah, I'm a regular monk." She had said smiling as they walked to their car when the case first started. He had mentioned how lucky she was. How she had nothing to worry about. No one nagging her, no one depending on her. He had regretted his words instantly. She had nothing to worry about because she had no one. He felt like an asshole afterwards.
"Monkette." He had replied as he stared at her, noticing how Olivia wasn't offended by his words. His eyes fixated on her. Thinking about her life, almost obsessing about it. About how much he wanted to be a part of it. How he already was, in a way. How he maybe wanted to be more... no. He wasn't going to allow those thoughts into his mind, not during the day, not while she was standing right in front of him. She admitted out loud how she hardly knew her neighbors because she spent all her time with him. The thoughts came back, he allowed them this time. He hoped his name was the one listed under her emergency contact.
Elliot had driven her home after the case, he didn't want to leave her alone. Olivia had sensed that, but refused. Too proud. He insisted. She relented, she didn't want to be alone either. The drive had been silent but as he pulled over in front of her building she decided to speak up.
"It's not the same, you know? You don't need to worry about me, El." She wouldn't look at him as she spoke. She had noticed his worry during the case, his glances her way as the facts of Gretchen's lonely life were exposed. She didn't want to think about the implications.
"I-I don't know what you mean, Olivia." His hands twitched, playing with the rearview mirror, making unnecessary adjustments. Looking anywhere but at the woman beside him. He didn't want to talk. She had caught his overprotection, when he had thought he was being subtle. Her head snapped to the side, finally looking at him.
"Oh, come on, Elliot. You have been all over me during this case. Even now, offering to drive me home. My life is nothing like Gretchen's was. I'm okay!" Her voice was becoming louder. The emotions she so desperately tried to hide were coming to the surface all at once. She wasn't lonely, she refused to think of herself that way. "I'm okay, El." She whispered the last part, trying to convince herself just as much as she tried to convince him.
You have been all over me during this case.
You have been all over me.
You... all over me.
He swallowed hard, her innocent words affecting him. She really had no idea. It was being harder to deny it.
"But you're not really okay, are you?" He finally looked at her, seeing her pained expression. "I saw you today after you left the interview. Even Cragen noticed." He sighed as he spoke. "Do you have anyone, Olivia? After a case like this..." He trailed off. He was pretty certain she wasn't seeing anyone but he couldn't stop himself. He wanted, he needed to know. That other part of him that had a different interest in her needed to know. The one he had tried to keep at bay. He didn't ask these things, he didn't speak like this. They didn't speak like this. He shouldn't even be here.
"You are a great detective, Liv. You are sharp, intelligent, and most importantly, amazing with the victims." Olivia was sitting beside him, seemingly frozen in place processing his words. Her big, brown eyes staring at him as he spoke and it pained him to see those pretty eyes full of unshed tears. He turned sideways, moving closer to her. "You look out for them, care about them in ways I've never seen anyone else do. I'm proud to call you my partner, and I wouldn't trust anyone else to watch my back..." Her tears were falling slowly across her cheeks now. His voice was soft and low inside the car. He reached across, too bold now. His resolve cracking as his hand caressed her cheek, his thumb wiped her tears away tenderly and he brough her face closer to his. "But who looks out for you, Liv?"
Olivia closed her eyes. Her voice small. "I have you, El." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. The shock of her admission making the air inside the car heavier. "I'm- That's not- That's not what I meant." Her eyes were impossibly large as she continued to look at him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Shit- You have your family, your wife. You don't need another person to worry about. I appreciate your concern, Elliot. I'm sorry..." She blurted out in a single breath. Her face moving back and forth against his hand which was still caressing her cheek, trying to calm her.
He moved even closer. His forehead resting against hers. She stilled, her heavy breaths warm against his face. She couldn't help to wonder what the hell were they doing.
"You do, Liv. You do have me." He reassured her. His voice was so slow, a mere whisper for only her to hear. "You have me, Olivia. You always will."
Her hand reached for his face closing the small distance between them. Her kiss was unexpected and chaste, and full of emotion after their talk. This thing between them, whatever it was, both knew it was coming. The tension had been brewing, building since their first week together.
She quickly pulled back, shocked by her actions, her admissions. He was having none of that and moved his hand to the back of her neck, crushing her lips against his again. Her mouth was soft and pliant against his. Her lips were full and so damned kissable. A fact he had noticed in their early days. His free hand lowered to her waist, pulling her closer to him. Almost on half on top of him. His lips slowly parting hers and latching onto her lower one, sucking and nipping gently. She moaned softly as his tongue ventured inside her mouth and he felt as if he was about to lose it. The hand holding her waist traveled lower down her back, caressing her ass and then her thigh, running his hand back and forth over it and squeezing it softly.
As she felt the tips of his fingers on the inside of her thigh, she stiffened. Her hands, which had been running over his head and back, suddenly pushing against his chest, pushing him away from her.
"What are we doing, Elliot? She sighted trying to calm her breathing. She was flushed and her lips bruised from his kisses.
"I don't know." He moved his hand back to her face, his thumb running over her lower lip. "But I do know I don't want to stop." He breathed out before pulling her to him once more, she went willingly. She was sitting sideways on the edge of the passenger seat, the handbrake between their seats was painfully digging against her left knee. Her right leg was half over his lap as he caressed her tight and pulled her as close to him as he could. The sounds of their wet lips, her soft whimpers, and his grunts filling the car. Their kisses growing frantic.
"Upstairs." She breathed out, tearing her lips away from his and trying to catch her breath, as his mouth lowered to her neck and sucked her there. "We need to go upstairs." She refused to think what her words implied.
Neither could recall how they got into her apartment, it was a blur. They were inside this little bubble and could only think about how good their bodies felt against each other. All he remembered was turning her around after she unlocked and opened her front door, wrapping his arms around her waist as he kicked the door shut with his foot, and lifting her up and pinning her against the first wall he found.
He had ripped off her shirt and bra and had grabbed and squeezed her full round breasts. He had become obsessed with them after catching a peek of her cleavage once or twice at work. He had wondered how it would feel to put his face between them and lick her skin there, surrounded by her soft and warm mounds. She was perfect. His left hand had cupped her right breast and he had teased her left nipple with his tongue, drawing it into her mouth and sucking greedily. He couldn't get enough of her skin and the moans and grunts coming from her mouth.
He has gotten rid of her shoes and pants just as quick and helped her remove his, and was currently gripping her hips as his lips devoured hers. His now naked thigh pressing against her core, spreading her legs open for him. His right hand moving down, between her legs, teasing her opening and pushing his finger inside. Olivia whimpered, she was dripping for him.
"Fuck, you are so wet, Liv." Feeling how ready she was made him even harder. She raised her left leg and wrapped it around his hip, rubbing herself against his hard length. He groaned into her mouth
"I need... El. I need--" She begged him. Elliot grabbed her thighs and easily lifted her, pinning her hard against the wall. Her arms wrapping tightly around his neck and her legs locked around him.
"What do you need?" He asked her as he held himself in his hand and rubbed the tip of his cock against her clit. His other hand holding her hip hard against him. She moaned loudly. "Tell me, Liv. Tell me what you need."
"I need to feel you. I need to feel you inside me, El." She whimpered as he continued his ministrations. "I need you to take the ache away." Olivia Benson was begging him, begging him to fuck her. He knew he would remember her voice, and this moment, forever.
He groaned loudly and pushed himself inside her. She cried out and he stopped.
"Don't stop, please don't stop." She pleaded, her breathing becoming erratic. He pushed forward. "That's it. Ugh, you're big." She breathed out as her body adjusted to his size.
He pushed slowly until was buried inside her all the way in, he couldn't believe how deep he was. He gave her a moment as he saw she was struggling, his mouth dropping to her neck and suckling at her pulse point trying to help her relax. She was overwhelmed, she could feel him all over her. He wasn't hers, but at that moment he was there with her and she wasn't thinking of the consequences. At that moment she wasn't feeling alone. At that moment the person she most wanted was with her and in a way she hadn't let herself ever think about.
"You okay?" Elliot asked kissing her neck and sucking on her earlobe.
"More than." He could hear the smile in her voice. "I just needed a second."
"I'm sorry." He said looking at her as he apologized, afraid he might have forced himself too fast.
"What for? You feel so good." She moaned, undulating her hips. "I don't think I've ever felt this full." She smiled as he groaned pulling on his lower lip with her teeth, biting it playfully. He couldn't believe her words, he loved that she wasn't holding back. "It's okay now. You can move." She smiled wickedly at him. "You can fuck me now, Elliot. I need you to."
She was deadly, he could tell. Her body was warm and soft, she was tight and so fucking warm inside. And her mouth, her words were lethal. He had never had it like that. So free and passionate.
He pulled out and slowly went back in, judging her reactions. She wrapped herself tighter around him. He was surrounded by her and still wasn't enough. He felt her hips starting to match his rhythm.
"More, El." She whispered next to his ear before running her tongue all over his neck, sucking at his skin. He grunted as he picked up the pace. "Harder." She demanded. His hands were gripping her hips forcefully while he slammed into her. "Yeah, just like that" His cock twitched inside of her as he heard her. He could feel her tightening even further, coming closer to the edge. He was approaching it fast too.
"You are so tight, baby. So fucking tight." He grunted as he bit down on her neck. Olivia started chuckling against him and he slowed down, confused. Raising his face to look at her he saw how amused she was at his pet name for her. She smiled at him, ran her hands through his short hair, and kissed him passionately, dragging her tongue over his bottom lip and plunging it inside his mouth, asking his tongue to come out and play with hers.
"Don't stop, please." She mewled between kisses. "I'm so close, make me come, El." He slammed himself hard into her. She sobbed loudly. She was so far gone, her voice rough and her breathing labored.
He picked up his pace again as he kissed her lips, his hands gripping her, marking her. His thrusts were hard and rough, his pace almost animalistic.
"Elliot!! FUCK!!" He felt her walls contracting hard around him just as she cried out. He slowed down to watch her face. She was so fucking gorgeous, and he thanked his lucky stars for being able to witness as she let herself go, and for being the one to provoke it. He didn't give her time to recover, going from zero to thrusting like a jackhammer into her still pulsating core.
"That was so fucking beautiful. You feel amazing, even tighter. So warm and wet. I'm gonna come, Liv." He was raving as she held his face tenderly against hers, their foreheads touching. He pulled out at the last second and spilled himself all over her stomach and thigh. Neither had thought about protection and he acted on instinct. She lowered one on her hands and continued to pump his cock, letting him release every last drop. He groaned loudly and crushed her mouth to his. After his orgasm subsided, he lowered her to the ground, gripping her waist with one hand as the other ran up and down her back, caressing her.
As their breathing slowed down, a rush of emotions overcame her. What they were doing wasn't real, it wasn't right. She couldn't lean on him or be with him this way, she thought as her stomach knotted painfully at the realization. She would send him home, where he belonged. She would take a shower, wash him and his scent off her body, and tell herself it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow, she would go back to her life, her quiet life, and would push this night away from her mind. The slight ache on her hips, her thighs and inside of her, where she could still feel him, would be the only reminder of what was, and what could have been.
Olivia sighed deeply, opened her eyes, and looked up at him sadly letting the painful truth out. "This can't happen again, El. "
Closing his eyes against the approaching reality, he refused to allow it to ruin what might be their last moments together. Nodding silently Elliot could feel it, deep inside: the bubble they were in finally bursting.