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i just want you close (where you can stay forever)

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So, this whole bed-sharing situation she’s currently in? Beca hates it. She truly does. But also, she kinda loves it? It’s complicated.


Perhaps it would be best to start from the beginning.

The first time Beca Mitchell shares a bed with Chloe Beale happens by the end of Beca’s freshman year. The Bellas have just won the ICCA’s and the girls party until the early morning hours. Beca still can’t quite wrap her head around the fact that she’s a member of an acapella group. Voluntarily. And that, instead of preparing to go to LA like she’s dreamed of for years, she is to become the leader of said acapella group after the summer. But as she sways to the beat of the music, surrounded by the happy faces of her fellow teammates—her friends—Beca is genuinely happy, for the first time in a long while.


She might also, potentially, have a boyfriend now, though she’s still not sure if that’s what she wants Jesse to be. But, she thinks, they have time to figure it out.


Once she gets to the point where she can barely keep herself upright due to exhaustion and a copious amount of alcohol, she and Chloe stumble towards the hotel rooms the Bellas had booked for the night.


“Thank you again for turning our dreams into a reality.” Chloe’s slurring her words slightly, earnest blue eyes locked with Beca’s. Beca is about to roll her eyes at how much of a sap Chloe is when drunk, but before she does, Chloe leans in and presses her lips softly to Beca’s cheek, whispering goodnight before walking further down the hall towards the room she shares with Aubrey. Beca’s left staring after her dumbly with a tingling sensation in the place Chloe’s lips touched her skin.


Shaking herself out of her stupor, Beca enters her room—a single with a gloriously comfortable queen-sized bed, which she got as a “thank you for your contribution towards reinstating the proud Bella name” as a very serious looking Aubrey had explained earlier. Beca was not going to argue.


She is just about to change into some comfier clothes to sleep in when there’s a knock on the door. Sighing, she goes to check who it is, expecting one of her crazy friends to have misplaced their key cards or something. Instead, she finds a sheepish-looking Chloe, her hand raised to likely knock again.


“Did you forget something?” Beca asks, curious as to what brings Chloe by since she, too, looks just about ready to pass out any moment.


She is not prepared for what comes out of Chloe’s mouth next.


“Can I sleep with you?”


Beca’s jaw goes slack, an incoherent sound escaping it as she stares at Chloe with wide eyes.


“Not like that,” Chloe quickly assures her, her voice colored with amusement. “It’s just that, I can’t stay in my room ‘cause Aubrey’s still celebrating.” Beca just blinks, waiting for an additional explanation. “With Stacie,” she adds with a pointed look. Beca stares back. “They’re having sex, Beca,” Chloe says, her tone that of someone trying to explain a complex issue to a small child or someone dumb. Which is exactly how Beca feels at that moment.


“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sure, come in, dude.” She steps aside, feeling a blush creeping up her neck.


“Mind if I borrow some clothes? I do not want to sleep in my bra,” Chloe asks, though she’s already looking through Beca’s suitcase.


For some reason, it takes Beca’s brain a few seconds to reboot after that mental image, but she blames the alcohol. Clearing her throat awkwardly, she hands Chloe an oversized t-shirt and shorts, grabs a similar set she picked for herself earlier and goes to change in the bathroom.


Once they’re both in bed, a good amount of space between them, one of the last thoughts crossing Beca’s mind is that it should feel awkward. She should feel awkward since she’s not used to sharing her personal space, much less her bed. But, weirdly enough, she’s perfectly at ease. Before she can even attempt to figure out why this is the case, she falls asleep.


(When she wakes up in the morning with Chloe’s arm slung loosely across her waist, her gentle breaths hitting her neck at regular intervals, Beca feels her insides swoop.


She puts it down to the hungover.)

The second time Beca shares her bed with Chloe happens a few months later. They haven’t seen each other all summer, with Chloe going home to see her parents in Florida and Beca flying to Portland to spend the break with her mom. As the new co-captain of the Bellas, Beca agreed to come back to Barden a couple of days before the start of the semester to help Chloe prepare a newly acquired house for the arrival of the rest of the girls.


After arriving at the address Chloe had texted her earlier, Beca has just enough time to get her suitcase out of the cab and take a step forward before a warm body propels herself at her, hugging her tightly, melodic laughter filling her ears. Beca finds herself returning the hug easily, her lips stretched in an uncharacteristically wide smile.


She’s missed her best friend more than she realized.


They spend the rest of the day cleaning the house, catching up during small breaks. Once they finish with the last room—a cozy room in the attic that Beca plans on claiming for herself (and most likely Amy, since the loud Australian considers herself Beca’s best friend and Beca does enjoy her company, despite the girl being exhausting at times)—Beca flops onto one of the beds face down.


“Tired?” She hears Chloe’s giggles somewhere to her right.


Beca only groans in response.


“You know, if you worked out a little, you wouldn’t get tired so easily,” Chloe says, and Beca doesn’t need to see her to know there’s a smug smirk on her face.


“Fuck you,” she grumbles, though there’s no heat behind it.


“Tempting. But I’m afraid you wouldn’t be able to keep up with me right now,” Chloe’s voice is all low and husky, and Beca knows she’s just saying that to fluster her.


(She succeeds. Beca’s thankful her head faces the wall, so her heated cheeks are hidden from view.)


“I hate you,” Beca lets out, sounding unconvincing even to her own ears.


Chloe giggles. “No, you don’t.” Beca wishes sometimes she had her confidence.


They’re quiet for a few moments, and Beca’s on the verge of falling asleep when Chloe interrupts the easy silence.


“Can I sleep here tonight? I don’t feel like going downstairs, it’s so empty.”


“Sure,” Beca mumbles, knowing well that Chloe doesn’t like being alone and that she’s scared of the dark.


Beca figures Chloe will take the other bed, so she’s startled by a sudden weight on the side of her mattress.


“Scoot over?” Chloe requests and Beca doesn’t have it in her to protest—nor does she actually want to—so she turns onto her right side and moves closer to the wall.


She expects Chloe to lie down beside her, but the weight disappears instead, so Beca looks over her shoulder to see what Chloe’s up to.


A wrong move on her part, she immediately realizes, a blush creeping up her cheeks once again as she sees Chloe wriggling out of her tight jeans.


“What?” Chloe’s voice causes Beca to quickly avert her eyes, choosing to look at the ceiling instead. “There’s no way I’m sleeping in those.”


Deciding, albeit reluctantly, that Chloe’s right, Beca turns onto her back and undoes her pants, slipping out of them with some effort. She quickly gets under the covers, still slightly uncomfortable with being in any state of undress among other people.


Chloe joins her soon after, leaving as much space between their bodies as she can—which, admittedly, is not much at all since the bed was designed to fit one person.


“Goodnight, Bec,” Chloe says softly.


“Night,” Beca mumbles back, her eyes already closed.


When she wakes up for the first time, in the early hours of the morning, and notices their position—Chloe’s face nestled in her neck, their bare legs intertwined—Beca ignores the swooping sensation in her gut, drifting off to sleep again.


The next time she wakes up, it is to Chloe slipping out of bed, whispering something about preparing breakfast before disappearing down the stairs. Upon checking her phone, Beca finds a message from Jesse, wanting to confirm their plans to meet up. With a pang of guilt, Beca realizes she isn’t nearly as excited to see him as she had been to see Chloe. She tells herself that it’s just because their relationship is still so new; she just needs more time to form a deep connection with him.


(A tiny voice inside her head reminds her she’s known Jesse and Chloe for roughly the same amount of time. She tells the voice to shut up.)

Beca stops counting after that. Over the rest of her time at Barden, she finds herself sharing a bed with Chloe on multiple occasions. Sometimes, it would happen after a night spent working on their setlists or studying together in Chloe’s room. Other times, they would watch Netflix late into the night, cuddled closely under one blanket until they fall asleep halfway through whatever movie or show they were watching. After almost every party, they would drunkenly stumble upstairs, clinging to one another for balance, ending up in Chloe’s room since it’s closer.


The circumstances vary, but the outcome stays largely the same. One of them would mumble some excuse—which get progressively flimsier and shorter until they stop bothering with them at all—as to why they should just stay in one another’s bed for the night, and the other would easily agree. They would always fall asleep on the opposite sides of the bed but wake up in the middle, without fail, their bodies pressed close, limbs intertwined.


And although it takes Beca an embarrassingly long time to realize, eventually, by the end of her senior year, she comes to three important realizations. One, she’s in love with Chloe. Two, Chloe might possibly have feelings for her, too.


Three, she really needs to talk to her boyfriend.

She does, eventually, break up with Jesse, though it takes longer than she’d like to find enough courage to do it. He takes it surprisingly well, but it still hurts like hell to see him in pain, especially knowing that she caused it. Despite her being the one to do the breaking-up, and knowing it was actually long overdue, Beca needs a few months to process the end of her first, and so far the only one, meaningful relationship.


By the time she feels ready to fully open her heart to Chloe, she fears that Chloe might have already moved on from whatever romantic feelings she may or may not have had for Beca.


So instead of jeopardizing their friendship with a love confession, Beca decides on a more cautious approach—observing Chloe carefully, looking for something that would tell her if Chloe feels the same way as she does.


As Beca soon finds out, however, it’s not easy to just lay low and hide your feelings when you share a bed with the person you’re in love with.


That brings her back to the conundrum her life is right now. On the one hand, it’s pure torture to sleep next to Chloe every night, to have her so close but not close enough, to not just give in to her desires and do something stupid. Like, kiss her senseless. But at the same time, Beca secretly loves these stolen moments before she falls asleep at night and before she has to get up in the morning when she gets to hold Chloe in her arms or be held by her. In these moments, she gets to pretend that Chloe’s hers and she’s Chloe’s.


But these moments are bittersweet and make Beca feel guilty because she doesn’t know if that’s what Chloe would want, too.


She’s currently experiencing this mix of emotions as she’s lying on their fold-out bed, her back to Chloe. Her best friend is fast asleep, which she can tell from her deep, steady breaths, but Beca’s still wide awake. Too many things are going through her head, keeping her from getting some rest.


The arm circling her waist suddenly tightens, shaking Beca from her not-so-happy thoughts. “Mmm, yes.” She hears Chloe mumble, her breathing still slow and even, so Beca knows not to respond.


Oh yeah, that’s another aspect of sharing a bed with Chloe—she talks in her sleep.


Beca hadn’t noticed it when they were still at Barden since she’s a rather heavy sleeper, and such quiet sounds would have no chance to wake her up. Nowadays though, in the stolen moments in which Beca would often stay up way too late just to enjoy being close to Chloe, she’d catch a few mumbled words or phrases—fragments of whatever Chloe would currently be dreaming about. It used to startle her, then amuse, and now she’s pretty much used to it. Sometimes, she still teases Chloe about it in the morning after hearing Chloe spout random nonsense about puppies in bowties or being chased by a pair of shoes.


(Beca finds it adorable. Not that she would ever admit it out loud.)


“Yeah, ‘s good,” Chloe mumbles again. The words lack proper articulation, but they’re still comprehensible.


Beca’s not paying any mind to Chloe’s muttering, finally becoming sleepy herself. That is until Chloe rolls her hips into Beca’s backside. “Keep going.” Her breathing is now quicker, voice lower, and it makes Beca’s eyes widen.


Chloe is having a sex dream.


Oh no. Oh, that’s not good. Beca’s just about ready to escape the bed to preserve what’s left of her sanity. She absolutely cannot be this close to Chloe when she’s-


“Bec,” Chloe moans, her left hand moving up Beca’s body, landing straight on her breast. Her hips are rocking non-stop now, rubbing against Beca’s ass. All plans of escape are forgotten as Beca’s brain melts, body overheating in an instant.


So, okay, Chloe’s apparently dreaming about her while feeling her up in her sleep, and Beca should stop her, she really should. Only, she’s too weak, and Chloe’s hand on her breast feels so good, and her traitorous body refuses to cooperate.


Then, three things happen in quick succession: Chloe’s hand delivers a firm squeeze to the round flesh underneath it, an involuntary moan escapes Beca’s mouth, and Chloe’s whole body freezes suddenly.


In the silence that follows, Beca barely dares to breathe as she counts the seconds that pass.


Chloe seems to unfreeze just as Beca reaches five, and she scrambles away from her. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t-...I’m so sorry,” she’s whispering frantically, likely keeping her volume low as not to wake Amy up.


Beca takes a few deep breaths, willing her racing heart to calm down, before she slowly turns to her other side, facing Chloe.


In the dark, she can just barely see Chloe’s wide eyes. She looks more frightened than Beca’s ever seen her. “Hey, it’s okay,” she whispers back softly, trying her best to reassure Chloe.


“Is it?” Chloe sounds so vulnerable right now, making Beca’s heart clench.


“Of course. Chloe Beale had a sex dream about me and groped me in her sleep. People should be jealous of me,” Beca says teasingly, her lips curved in a smirk. It draws a short huff of laughter from Chloe. She hesitates briefly before adding, “Besides, I’ve had some, uh, interesting dreams involving you, too.”


Chloe gasps, her eyes boring into Beca’s intensely. “Really?!”


Beca only nods, her throat suddenly too dry to speak. The air between them fells thick with tension, and they must have subconsciously scooted closer to each other during their brief exchange, as they’re now lying almost nose to nose.


She swallows nervously, bringing her right hand to gently cup Chloe’s jaw, gazing into her eyes the whole time to gauge her reaction. Chloe’s breath hitches audibly at the gesture. She licks her lips, bringing Beca’s attention to them and trapping it, making it very hard for her to look away. They look so soft and inviting that Beca cannot resist anymore.


With a final deep breath, she closes the remaining distance, capturing Chloe’s lips with her own.


It’s like everything Beca imagined and more. They easily find a rhythm that suits them both, their lips moving together in a dance that is new but at the same feels so right and effortless as if they’ve been doing it for a long time. Hands are caressing faces and necks, delivering tender touches they were forced to hold back up until now. Their connection—which Beca’s always seen as something special—feels stronger than ever. As if they were always supposed to get to this point.


Eventually, they end the kiss, not wanting it to escalate while their roommate’s asleep a few feet away. As Beca opens her eyes slowly, Chloe’s uncharacteristically shy but happy smile is the first thing she sees.


They exchange goodnights—and a few more quick pecks—before falling asleep, holding each other tightly.


In the morning, as they simply lie facing each other, they must look so disgustingly in love that it takes only one look at them for Amy to announce loudly that she’s going to be gone for the weekend before she grabs a few things and heads for the door. Beca thinks she takes a few photos of them before she leaves, but she’s too busy staring at Chloe to be sure.


This time, Beca doesn’t try to make excuses for the fluttering sensation caused by Chloe’s proximity. This time, they talk about the feelings they’ve been dancing around for a good part of their friendship. And once they agree that they’ve talked enough, they express their love in a more physical way. Multiple times.


Afterward, Beca decides that sharing a bed with Chloe might just be her new favorite thing.