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The Show Becomes Real

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Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet & Clank, or any of its associated characters and lore. That right belongs to Insomniac Games.


The Show Becomes Real


Classified Location in the Solana Galaxy

As a sapient robot who was more than just programmed to know and feel things, Clank reactivated himself slowly in a manner comparable to an organic lifeform's migraine. While most of his kind in an intergalactic society were capable of consuming certain foods and drinks, Clank felt like he fiercely needed an aspirin after whatever knocked him out. Before he could recall what happened, however, he finally saw that he was in an office-like room with a feminine robot in a blue dress that matched her eyes, earrings, and synthetic hair beaming at him expectantly from behind her desk as he sat in the chair opposite her.

"Greetings, Mister Clank." The Hotbot, as most female robots of that type were designated, said to Clank in a pleasant, if nonchalant, tone of voice. "I apologize for the abruptness of this meeting, but the Agency didn't want to take any chances with a simple phone call."

Remembering clearly that he was abducted from the Holostar Studios set after his latest Secret Agent Clank episode, the shorter robot narrowed his green eyes in suspicion as he said. "This is the second time in my life that I've been kidnapped after my holovision acting job. Am I correct in presuming this is Doctor Nefarious' doing?"

The Hotbot laughed sweetly before saying. "Oh, trust me, Mr. Clank, if we received news of what happened to that mad scientist after the Biobliterator mech was destroyed on Mylon, you, Ratchet, and even Captain Qwark would be three among the many people we'd inform first. But let's start over again, shall we? My name is Miss Cute Anastasia Bot, but you can call me Ms. Bot, and I happen to be one of the most talented, if unjustly underappreciated and woefully single operators of the Solana Intelligence Agency."

Whatever uncertainties Clank had about Ms. Bot's name and marital status quickly took second place upon him hearing that she apparently worked for the same organization that he worked for in his show. Now even more unsure, Clank finally said. "Okay, go on?"

"Simply put, cutie, the Agency would like you to make the fantasy of Secret Agent Clank a reality."

Upon hearing those words, Clank's apprehension finally gave way to amusing disbelief as his instant trademark laughter indicated. After seeing that Ms. Bot's expectant expression did not waver in the slightest bit, however, Clank stopped laughing and looked even more puzzled. "You're serious?"

"Do you need more proof, handsome?" Ms. Bot replied even as she fluttered her artificial eyelashes at him.

"I'm just astounded by the irony, Ms. Bot. The first time I was kidnapped from the Secret Agent Clank set, it was because Nefarious actually believed my holovision adventures were real. And now, you're telling me to become a real secret agent?" Thinking about another excitable fan, Clank then asked with his arms folded. "Did President Phyronix put you up to this?"

Ms. Bot finally turned away in embarrassment as she answered. "Well, not quite. I mean, sure, he joked around a bit with the Agency Director about how you'd fare as a real spy after he awarded you and Ratchet for your troubles in the Technomite mess, but the Director gave it some serious thought after looking over you history on and off the holovision, and even I'm inclined to agree that you have potential."

"Speaking of which, you do realize that both my well-publicized show and heroics across two galaxies somewhat ruins the "secrecy" part of being a secret agent, right?"

Relenting to Clank's accurate, if somewhat snarky, analysis, Ms. Bot said. "Okay, that much is true, but I can assure you that the Agency will make sure that almost everything you do in the series will be at your disposal in real life as you stop real criminals when Ratchet is unavailable and get real paychecks after the dust settles."

"Almost everything?" Clank repeated.

Ms. Bot's playfulness returned as she asked. "Am I to presume that your "Clank-Fu" was all smoke and mirrors then?"

Releasing a chuckle at that, Clank admitted. "Point taken." Exhaling, he then added with a nod. "Oh, alright. If nothing else, it could be interesting for a bit."

Smiling broadly, Ms. Bot then stood up straight and took her right hand out for Clank to shake. "Well, then, welcome to the Agency, Secret Agent Clank."

Clank shook Ms. Bot's hand for a bit in acceptance before she then quickly pulled him towards her and embraced him for a long kiss.

Upon parting mouths, Ms. Bot to a stunned Clank. "A bit cliché, I know, but you look so sexy."

Upon registering what happened, Clank shrugged as he said with his eyes rolled. "Alright, but I better not get in trouble for unprofessional behavior."

He then kissed the surprised Ms. Bot back which she accepted eagerly.

'Well, I suppose this line of work could be more fun than simply acting it out.' Clank thought to himself during the occurring moment of robotic love.


After struggling to come up with a good pairing one-shot for Clank when I have done so well for Ratchet, I finally figured that Clank's mission operator from Secret Agent Clank, Miss Cute Anastasia Bot, would be doable in a prequel kind of way. I am honestly a bit annoyed that Insomniac listed the game, Secret Agent Clank, as an in-universe piece of fiction when it includes so much detail from the main series and to top it off, Ratchet was fired from the show in Up Your Arsenal for being a "lousy actor" as the Director referred to him.