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Why did you leave me?

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I love women.
I fucking love women and I love fucking women.
I know I'm young and I don't know anything about life but I know something for sure, that something is that I love being with girls so much.
They are so beautiful and kind and they understand me.
Of course, not all women are like that but who knows, maybe there are more good women than bad ones.

The first time I was with a woman I felt like I was in heaven.
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever felt.
She was kind, loving, and made me feel so fucking wanted.
Gods, she was so fucking hot.
She was a lot older than me, but I didn't care, age is just a number, right?
She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and she was the only woman I truly loved with all my heart.
But not all good things last forever, right?

I haven't seen her in months, I don't even know where the fuck she is.
All I know is that one day she disappeared off the face of the earth.
You know, I didn't suffer that much, growing up I realized that you shouldn't expect too much from life.
So yes, I suffered, but in my own way.
I cried myself to sleep and never bothered anyone with my shitty problems.
When you're Hermione Granger, you can't let people think your life isn't as perfect as it seems.
Golden girl, smartest witch of her age, bookworm, mudblood, all titles that weighed on me.
I just wanted to be Hermione, a young witch who had just graduated from Hogwarts.
Not a girl who went through a war and almost lost everything.
All I wanted to do was work at the Ministry and live a quiet life, like any normal witch.
But now I find myself sitting here at my desk writing a letter to someone who will surely never read it.

I rested my forehead on my ink-stained hands, I would have smudged my forehead too, but I didn't care.
I was looking for the right words to express how frustrated I was that I hadn't heard any news, not even a goodbye.
But all I was able to write was 'I miss you, you broke my heart but I love you'.
I closed my eyes and sighed.

Gods, she is the love of my life, I would have done anything for her.
But she decided to disappear, to leave me.
Now I think I know why it was so hard for her to stay, because she knew that one day she would have to leave me.

I lifted my head, picked up my quill and started writing.

Dear love of my life,
why did you have to leave me?
We were happy.
I know, the war came and you were on the wrong side.
But I didn't care, I know you played the part, I know you're not that woman.
You are kind, caring, intelligent and incredibly beautiful.
You are not the woman they see, you are not the crazy bitch you played the part of.
Please let me know you're okay.
Let me know you're not dead.

I put down the quill and folded the parchment, put it in the envelope and wrote the address and recipient.

"Hector," I called my owl, "you know who this is for."

I tied the letter to Hector's claw and he left.
I knew I wouldn't get a reply, so I got under the covers and tried to sleep.