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hey hey hey emo boy

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Any contact with the weretiger was an annoying experience at the best of times - and today was decidedly NOT the best of times for Akutagawa.

He had once again been forced to team up with that ridiculous creature, that simpering cat whose wretched mien awoke in one the desire to impale him multiple times. It was Dazai's plan, so Akutagawa could not refuse, but that was small consolation for his pains.

Especially since the weretiger had cleared off.

"I'm really hungry, and we're not supposed to be there 'til ten! I'm gonna go grab something to eat," he'd whined, and then disappeared into a nearby convenience store. As if that wasn't bad enough, he'd even had the nerve to leave Akutagawa to watch his things - as if he was some lowly porter, and not the most feared ability user in Yokohama! Akutagawa decided to calm the fury rising inside him by having a peek at the contents of the backpack his pathetic excuse for a partner had left him with when he'd scampered off in search of friskies. Or whatever it was he ate.

The backpack was small, and had a pattern of ... chameleons? Akutagawa scoffed. What a child. He unzipped it, the look of scornful contempt never once leaving his face as he espied a paperback (what in hell was a crawdad, and why would it sing?), a water bottle (didn't cats hate water? Perhaps he ought to slosh the weretiger with this when he came out of the store), a change of clothes (the same white button down that always seemed to respawn on him no matter how torn and bloodstained it had been when Akutagawa last saw it), and - lastly - a stupid little flip phone.

The mafioso had to admit he was disappointed. He'd found some way to hate on every single item in the backpack but there was nothing REALLY embarrassing that he could use to mock his partner. Still, the water-sloshing was a good idea. Quickly summoning Rashoumon, he perforated the plastic cap and then hid the bottle away in one of his coat's voluminous pockets. He was just about to close the backpack and resume his fantasy of setting fire to the convenience store with the weretiger in it, when suddenly the mobile phone began to emit a strange noise.

It was some sort of song, in English.

Doing his best to recall the crash course he'd received on the language during his training days (it was the world's most spoken, after all, and therefore useful to any mafioso), Akutagawa strained to make out the lyrics. He wanted to see for himself what kind of trash the weretiger listened to.

At first the lyrics looped. Hey, emo boy. Hey, hey, hey emo boy. Akutagawa grew instantly suspicious. He did not know what an "emo" was, but he had heard the Black Lizards use that word in relation to him once or twice. Higuchi had vehemently remonstrated them both times.

"Weretiger... just what is this?" He wondered aloud.

The intro had ended and the first verse was starting, so Akutagawa returned his attention to the words.

Saw this boy at the mall last week

Got the kind of look to make me freak -

Akutagawa understood that the gist of it was seeing a ...freaky boy at a shopping center. He listened on, unimpressed.

My Chemical Romance on his tee -

- Oh, that band his sister Gin listened to sometimes.

He looked so sick like he was dyin' -

Akutagawa perked up with apprehension once again. First that word, "emo", and now the mention of terminal illness - Was this song... somehow related to himself? No, it couldn't be. Ridiculous. Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was not an "emo", whatever that was. He was diablo.

If I said he wasn't hot, then I'd be lyin' -

There was a clinking sound at the entrance of the convenience store.

Please, handsome, don't be coy -

Atsushi Nakajima stood in the doorway, a plastic shopping bag in hand, staring at his ringing phone in Akutagawa's hand.

Come on, fuck me, emo boy.

Akutagawa dropped the phone. He was in complete and utter shock. What was this. Why. Did this mean- ???

"Hey, what the heck? You dropped my phone!" The weretiger sprinted over and picked it up off of the ground. Being a flip phone, it was unharmed by the fall, and continued to sound out its ringtone's repetitive chorus. He turned it off, annoyance etched into his features, but ...he didn't seem anywhere near as mortally embarrassed as Akutagawa felt. How could he be so brazen?! "What were you listening to on my phone, anyway?" He said, snatching his backpack back from Akutagawa's frozen hands and stuffing the phone inside it. "Haven't you got your own?"

"I-" the stupid question snapped Akutagawa out of his incredulous trance. "It was your ringtone, weretiger. I just happened to hear it."

The weretiger gave him a blank look. Akutagawa imagined cows grazing in his multicolored eyes. "No it wasn't," he said. "I think I'd recognize my own ringtone. Anyway, it doesn't matter, let's just get a move on."

Activating his ability, Akutagawa swiftly gained a chokehold round the boy's neck, eliciting a look somewhere between shock and plain old peevishness from him. "Yes, it does matter, you disgusting creature. Because if it was about me, I will carve you into shreds and then feed what's left to the stray dogs. What do you mean by- by- something like that-?"

"Huh??" The surprise on the weretiger's face morphed into confusion. "The heck are you talking about? I told you, I didn't set that as my ringtone. And even if I did, why are you so mad about it?? I don't understand."

Akutagawa's heart pounded in his chest. He couldn't explain to himself what he was feeling - and he didn't want to, anyway, as feelings were for the weak, of course - he only wanted to wring an explanation out of this creature. "Why am I so mad??" This was simply unthinkable. "It's- what that song was saying! You imbecile."

The white-haired boy blinked. "I don't know what it was saying, Akutagawa. I think it was in English. I don't speak English."

"You lie."

"I don't! Let me go. Maybe Mr. Dazai changed it as a prank."

Akutagawa's hand twitched at the mention of that name. He released Rashoumon's hold on his neck, forcefully, so that the weretiger fell over onto the ground with a pathetic little yelp. The mafioso strode away. "Fine then. Play the fool." He would get no satisfactory answer out of the him, it was plain to see. "It is a game you seem to know well. Let's get out of here."

He heard the weretiger sigh behind him. "You know, that didn't sound nearly as cool as you think it did."

Akutagawa ground his teeth together. The sheer nerve of that pathetic cat! He would put him back in his place. Using Rashoumon as an extra arm, he fished the makeshift watergun out of his pocket and squeezed hard. A spray of water squirted out in a satisfying arc. It soaked the weretiger's boring white button down.

This elicited an indignant exclamation from him: "What the heck was that for??"

"Hmph." Akutagawa scoffed. "Let that teach you to think of... fucking 'emo boys' ever again."