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all the ways to say goodbye

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“i should go.”

 

“yeah.”



the words run through chase’s head on a loop, losing their meaning more and more with every push of the replay button, like a song you’ve heard too many times.

 

“did you ever love me?!”

 

“i don’t know!!”

 

the words run through cameron’s head on a loop, regret filling her more and more with every push of the replay button, like all the hurt is suddenly catching up to her now.

 

after everything, why would she say that? of course she loved him, of course she loves him, of course she’ll always love him. 

 

it’s over now.

 

he let her go. if he had just said one more thing, maybe she would have stayed longer. maybe she wouldn’t have left at all. 

 

chase would have done anything, said anything, to keep her around even just a few seconds longer. just to be able to see that face, that smile, those eyes, for one more minute.

 

that’s it. that was goodbye.

 

a few months ago, he thought they would have kids and grow old together. now he’s drunk alone at a bar looking for someone to distract him from the finalisation of his divorce.

 

the thought of him moving on feels like a knife cutting through her chest, making her bones ache with how much she misses him. she misses the way he would slather vegemite all over his toast, the way he would give her that little half smile, the way he used to hold her when they danced.

 

“he’ll never hold me like that again.”

 

they really thought they would spend the rest of their lives together. they used to have it all.


now all they have are memories, and the visions of the life they could have ( should have ) had together.