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Love conquers all, but time conquers love.

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You see, there are a thousand different ways to destroy a person, an alien, whatever. For Kara, it wouldn't be her entire planet, her family, her customs, and everything she understood. It wouldn't be her cousin's clear rejection of her by handing her over to the Danvers, or the departure of the family patriarch to protect her, the countless humans she couldn't save, or a few loves lost under the weight of her secret. 

 

It would be her gaze. It was her purgatory as much as paradise.

 

After Kara understood her feelings for Lena, she decided that she would tell her the truth.  She had spent several hours in front of the mirror preparing for what would probably be the most important moment of her life. Because it would not be just a secret that she would be sharing at that opportunity. 

 

But it was never the right moment, Mon-el and the Daxamites, James... So many things happened in the meantime.

 

Reign happened.

 

And well, it gets kind of hard to confess your biggest secrets when you're beating the crap out of a world killer. When you think there are more than two fractured ribs, some bones in your left leg and arm in a similar state and you are falling at an absurd speed towards the ground. When you think that the last interactions you had with Lena were surrounded by distrust and resentment, all because of Kryptonite, and the bad feelings that chained you to the thought of her working with it. 

 

That that was how things would stay between them, forever in a quo state. If Lena wouldn't realize that Supergirl's fall on the same day as other human losses, among them Kara Danvers, were more than chance, they were the proof of a secret that Kara never trusted her with, maybe she would attend the funeral, maybe she would cry with her sister and Eliza and all her friends, or maybe she would be gone, and none of her super-friends would ever see Lena Luthor around again.




Those were the kinds of thoughts that went through Kara's head as she fell. Of her mistakes, of what could have been.



And how lucky was she, or was she? That James and Lena were in the vicinity when Supergirl hit the ground. 

That James had so ridiculously spectacularly checked his pulse while yelling into his cell phone at one Alex Danvers. 





Maybe the world stopped for a second before Kara closed her eyes. Her senses were working just fine so far, even after being beaten badly, and what was that, alias, blood coming out of her ears? Kara could feel the hesitant steps of civilians around the crater. She could feel the trembling of her hands, the rushing steps to James' side as he watched the fallen steel girl. 

 

Still with all the other distractions in those few seconds of consciousness, Kara could pick up the distinct sound of Lena's heartbeat. 

Maybe that was the perfect lullaby to death, just her heartbeat slowing and hers increasing. It was all the blonde would like to focus on, her eyes were no longer focused as they should have been, her lungs felt heavier and heavier. But Kara's senses wouldn't leave out the rest of the world, even though it was what she wanted. 

 

Then she listened:

 

"Alex, ALEX, your sister, she, COME FAST...."

 

It didn't take the genius that obviously Lena Luthor was to finally connect the thousands of dots that separated her the secret of kara's identity. She knew she understood by the sounds of her heartbeat, by the frantic way her breathing hitched, by the way her eyes lost their luster transpiring every thought possible through them. 

 

Kara's vision was already blurring completely at that point, but using all her energy, Kara concentrated enough to look at her one last time and the last thing she saw were the wide-open eyes of the woman she loved and would never know about that love.

 

 She was happy though, that maybe her eyes would be the last thing in sight and maybe they would be her Paradise after all. The blonde heard her name, for what she thought was the last time. "Kara..." 

 

Time was fading much faster than she once thought possible.

 

One last smile adorned her face, more a tugging of lips than anything else, and the girl of steel. Kara "Zor El" Danvers, closed her eyes. 





 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

The nothingness that followed the next few moments was one of terrible resonance for Kara. 

28 years lost in the phantom zone took its toll, if death was it, Kara was at peace. Perhaps being conscious about her entire life, her mistakes and her pains eternally was the right way to spy on those regrets.

 

But the blonde discovered, 29 days after she closed her eyes for the last time, that life had given her one more chance. 

 

More precisely Brainny gave her that second chance, but it is only a matter of semantics. The two of them would toast life in the bar at some future time, with everyone else. 



About the others...

 

The first few minutes were very chaotic. As she opened her eyes a strong light enchained her vision. 

 

Later Alex informed her that they had built a sun chamber 10x more powerful than the lamps she was normally exposed to, because they were not having the immediate effect she was used to in her recovery after Brainny's intervention.

 

Several scientists rushed to her as soon as she regained full consciousness, 5 minutes later Alex was there, with tears in her eyes and yelling about how Kara shouldn't do this kind of thing again. Winn walked in, followed by James and J'onn J'onzz; 

 

Kara joked, answered what she could, but everyone noticed how her head was not there, how it seemed that all the last events were still being processed by her. Her mind somewhere else, with someone else. 

 

"Reign?" Kara asked after Alex demanded that the superfriends give her sister a little space to get herself together properly.

 

"It was a tough fight and we had to rely on Clark and his friend Barry, but luckily we captured her and were able to stabilize a kryptonite compound that deactivated the kryptonian gene in Sam, she was in a coma for two weeks since her treatment. Lena..." There, Alex's slight hesitation in saying her name said many things that Kara was afraid to ask. "You took care of her personally, at the moment she and Ruby took a trip to reconnect and deal with everything that happened..."



The conversation went on for a while, about what they explained to Catco about her absence, with John flying in his with her face, so Supergirl has never missed a single day of work since. How all her friends didn't leave her side, the price the city paid until Reign's capture. Everything but her.

 

"So you'll probably be discharged at the end of the day, but I recommend you don't abuse your powers, none of us could understand why it took so long to wake you up." Alex patted her arm "Gee, I knew you liked the Sleeping Beauty movie.

 

"Alex" Her sister stared at her, by the steel in her eyes, kara could very well guess that her sister was fully aware of what she would be asking next. 

 

With a sigh, she removed her doubts, "Who do you think came up with the idea for the camera? She was with us the whole time. If it hadn't been for her help and Lex's old notes, we never would have found the cure for Sam, or finished this chamber. But she made it very clear, that when she woke up, she would..." Alex then tugged on her sister's hand, who at the moment remained with her eyes closed, knowing full well what her next words would be. "I'm sorry Kar, we tried to make her understand, but she wouldn't listen to us. She asked you not to go after her."

 

"Where is she?" Kara had many doubts about what she was about to do, but now she understood that there was no more to go back to. Lena might never forgive her again and Kara would spend all her days under the sun carrying this trembling regret. But if nearly dying didn't make her take action, nothing else would, 

Sighing, Alex relented. 

 

"You know where she is"







 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

"Kara"

 

Those were not the words Kara had imagined she would hear when she found Lena again. 

 

It had been a few hours since she had sat on the roof of the L Corr, taking courage as she followed the steady beat of her best friend. When surprisingly the door to her balcony was opened and Lena called out to her.

 

"Y-you knew I was here"



Kara could very well be considered the girl of steel, she could very well lift tons as if it were an everyday thing, blow up anything in the field of her laser vision, and freeze everything within the reach of her freezing breath. She also, being blessed with extraordinary vision could see beyond the imaginable and perceive everything within a radius of miles with her other senses.

But nothing, none of these superpowers, and invulnerability stopped her from shuddering at the cold green eyes watching her.

 

She felt like in the first days after her arrival on earth, disoriented, lost, in pain, longing... The only things that sustained her in those moments were the Danvers. 

In another life, maybe she would never have met them, maybe she would have started living her earthly life following in Kal-el's footsteps, seeing his struggle for journalism, heroism, his love for Lois Lane first hand, maybe she would have followed in his footsteps earlier and maybe she would have been in this Super x Luthor mess long before she had a sense of independence that allowed her to see the other members of the family with other eyes... Well, more like a member.

 

Maybe it would have made a difference, maybe then she wouldn't have been so defenseless for what would be the ultimate destruction of a Super in the face of a Luthor, something that no doubt everyone imagined would happen.




"Explain" A simple sentence, without any of the usual warmth from the most important woman in her life. Her eyes drifted to the horizon, wondering what to say, what might be right to appease the pain she knew she had inflicted on Lena.

 

"It makes no difference that it's been over 15 years that I landed here, you know? More than 40 if you count my time lost in the Phantom Zone. I can still feel the sound, the smell of everything I loved disappearing before I could cry for this loss, for being thrown into the unknown. I can barely remember my parents' faces from the last few days, but I remember their blue eyes, like an endless sea. Serious, sad, resigned at the end. I always saw them in my dreams for 28 years and when I try to trace memories of krypton, maybe their eyes are my favorite memories from there." 

"And I think a lot about the smile of Jeremiay, Alex's father. He was a very good man. Our last memory together was when we said goodbye. I flew for 5 minutes in a place I shouldn't have when I was 15 and he was gone forever. As far as we know, CADMO , and only... Silence."

 

Never has Kara felt the weight of an entire world on her shoulders as much as she does now, being true to Lena for the first time.

 

"Kenny was my first best friend on earth, even before I was friends with Alex. He was cute" Kara lets out a small affected laugh " He saw me break some doorknobs at school and Kal-el was already a thing by then, he just... He saw me, you know? But other kids saw it too, they saw my weirdness, how I couldn't understand the language of the earth. Kenny was very good and he defended me once. The thing is... Humans are fragile, and I never thought that a push from an older child would be enough for him to get brain edema. And I just froze, so used to Eliza's voice telling me never to use my powers with others around. And that was it, Kenny was gone."

 

"Kara..."

 

"Wait, Lena, please, if I don't say it all at once, I'm afraid I won't be able to say it ever" The blonde continues " And you had more of that my whole life. No matter how hard I tried, I could never protect the ones I love, Lena. Until Mon-el, and I see now that I fell in love with the idea of him, of getting what I lost, of my whole culture focused on someone who just... understands the pain. And I know that I was that for him too. I could hold him without thinking about dosing my strength, and I knew he could understand the weight I carry every day... Everyone sees me as indestructible, as the steel that will keep their lives from falling apart, and I could never be anything less than that. And then, even he was gone because I wasn't enough.  I was Kara Danvers my whole life on earth trying to make the world listen to what they don't want to hear, and then Supergirl all this time, because Kara wasn't enough to make this world better.  I spent a few minutes being Kara Zor-el, Kryptonian in love with someone from Daxam, and you know how that ended." 

 

"But I'm just a girl, I'm not just that ideal. I'm Kara too, aspiring journalist who fumbles every day with my coffee order. The Kara you knew. And for a long time, being your Kara and only that to you was all I wanted Lena." Kara smiles

 

"The funny thing is that I always knew. The moment we met, that whatever happened between us, that would be it, the end point. I lost and hurt and risked the lives of everyone I once loved, even Alex.... I am sure you remember Supergirl's incidents under red kryptonite. And I remember how I felt at that time, the feeling of unbridled power, my wills ready to manifest themselves into actions. I guess I have to be glad, that in this story you were never involved, because I'm sure there would be no turning back between us from whatever I showed you if I ever knew you back then. And everything I ever did or didn't stop, it wouldn't matter Lena, because if you knew who I was, if you knew and tried to save me in all the ways that you wouldn't try if I was just Supergirl to you, and you got hurt and you were gone like everyone else?  I wouldn't come back from that, I know I wouldn't."

 

"I live under the weight of a dead planet, of lost parents and the constant risk of losing everything again every day that I live, and I just... I wanted it to last a little bit longer. Kara and Lena, not Supergirl and not Luthor." Kara couldn't face Lena, all her strength concentrated on saying what needed to be said. All her concentration on just listening to the heartbeat beside her to calm her down, as she had been doing since they met.

 

"I always knew it would be inevitable that you would get involved, it would never stop you from doing good and changing the world like you were born to do. But that was sort of a side effect of you being amazing" Kara finds herself laughing "If you were with me as anything, I don't know... I feel like I took your choice away from you. You see, you don't need Red k to be your worst."

 

"I decided I would tell you many times before and I never, never succeeded. And I waited, I hoped I could deal with my own demons, Lena, because that's not the only secret I've kept from you."



"At this point it doesn't surprise me, Kara" To refocus on those green eyes was desperate, but Kara could feel the ice recede, maybe, just maybe, Lena could at least understand her point. Lena breaks eye contact and Kara feels herself drifting off again "go ahead".

 

"I was always ready to lose you. And I didn't tell you because deep down I think I knew what it would do to us, that you'd walk away and nothing would ever be the same" At that point, her tears tasted salty as she watched the sunset unfold before them" And I was selfish. If you walked away, if you never looked me in the eye again, if you never had to be involved in the DEO's problems again, great... If you found a way to be happy, that's all I could ask for. Because I can't ask for other things from you, Lena, I can't. Because I also couldn't tell you who I was without telling you that I love you."

 

"And loving you is scary, it's like the Light of Rao going out for the last time on Krypton, but it's also like the blue sky of earth seen for the first time. It's everything. And I didn't think I was ready to say those words, to accept what came with them, but that's it Lena. I love you, and I took away your choice to know other sides of me that you may never want to see again. And I accept that, I really do, I accept that I lost you even before I had you."

 

"But I need you to know, if there is a 1% chance that you will ever look into my eyes and feel the love I have for you without the shadows of the secrets I kept, please.... Please, I'll be here, I'll always be here. Because I saw a world without you in the seconds I died, and the emptiness I felt will break me in half someday in the future, when it is true. But I want to be with you every chance I get, every way you want me to be. And I'm afraid, I think I always will be, that I'll have to live many years ahead of you and lose all the hope that I should inspire, but such a world today I can accept, if it means that I've had time with you."

"You are an idiot, Kara Zor-el" The tears were running free on the face of the woman he loved, and Kara wanted nothing more than to wipe them one. To kiss her lips, pull them against herself, and ask forgiveness for all the lies. She didn't do that, though.

 

"I know."

 

"You accused me of many things. You acted behind my back and pretended to be the person who would never hurt me."

 

"I know"



"I hate you. I hate what you did with what we could have, I hate that I'm going back and forth to all the good memories we had and wondering what was true and what was a damn scheme by you and your friends. I hate that I haven't slept in a month Kara, 1 month, because you weren't what I thought you were and what did it matter anyway?" Lena wonders, angry "You were dying, in front of me, in my arms and then in a cold room in a government department that didn't exist. What did it matter that you were Kara Danvers, and then you were Supergirl and you were just there, dying on me. And you wouldn't even tell me if you died. I bet your friends would say it was an accident, and I would cry for you, and I wouldn't even wonder why Supergirl was gone" Lena laughed "If I hadn't been with James at the time. If I had been five minutes late before helping you..."

 

"Lena"

 

"Don't say my name! I hate you" Lena threw herself at Kara, fists punching her chest. The only pain Kara felt, however, was from the rest of her heart breaking as she saw the consequences of her decisions." I hate you, Kara. And I hate myself, I hate that I let you do this to me. I told you, I begged you not to be like all the others."

 

Kara gently holds both of Lena's wrists and pulls her to herself, holding her back.

 

"I hate you"

 

"No you don't." 

 

"You're not going to decide how I feel or not, Supergirl" It was hard to take Lena seriously when she stopped struggling and was now sniffling into her chest. Pulling Lena's chin with her fingertips, Kara smiles slightly." What?" barks Lena

 

"It's Kara, just Kara, with you" Whispers" And you don't hate me, Lena. Just like I would never hate you even if you lied to me, even if you used me and threw me away, even if, god forbid, you joined Lex or were a goddamn villain. I would love you anyway. And I never understood how it was so easy for me to put you ahead of any mission of any act of heroism that I have, even of any morality. And maybe, in those scenarios we weren't on the same side. But I would love you anyway."

 

"I am not you, Kara. I'm not going to pretend we're anything but broken" closing her eyes, Lena sighs. 

 

"You're better, Lena. Always have been." Kara sticks their foreheads together, getting as close to Lena as she can. "Time. Just give me time. No lies, no secrets. I'll never hurt you like that again."

 

"They're just words," she says.

 

"They aren't. They are all I am, all my honor. I love you, Lena. And I know, I know you feel that too."

 

"It doesn't matter what I feel or don't feel."

 

Kara feels Lena's warmth pull away from her. the brunette held her arms against herself, watching the moon face her back. 

 

"The truth is that at the end of the day, you still lied to me. You will still love me and I-" Lena interrupted herself, facing her again. "I'll never forget that, Kara."

 

Back on Krypton, her mother used to whisper, late at night, that when Kara was older, and married, she could look into the eyes of her spouse, hopefully the person she loved, and just like that, understand everything their eyes were saying, even without needing any words. 

 

Kara loved Lena and Lena loved Kara. There is no love lost between them, quite the opposite, it is there, evident and wide open for anyone to witness. So Kara could tell, even if they had never exchanged Kryptonian bracelets, even if they had never shared a bed, even if they had never even kissed or managed to be together in the way that Kara, and even Lena, had dreamed of since they first met. Kara could tell what would happen next, just by looking into the eyes of the woman she loved. 



"Kara, I'm so sorry" Lena moved closer and deposited a small kiss on the corner of her mouth. Kara's whole body shook in anticipation and fear "Love conquers all, but time conquers love"

 

And Kara had to watch as Lena pulled away, wiping one last tear from her face. 

 

"I'll fight for you, Lena"

 

"I know" Lena says with a sad smile on her lips and walked away.




Kara didn't think it would really be goodbye at that point, because, dear god, she deserved closure after all, and she didn't get one.

She didn't think it was goodbye, not even when weeks passed and Lena stopped her from trying any contact with her, but never said the words, not even when they had to work together at the DEO. Nor when, Lena seemed to consider that this distance was not enough and decided to go back to Metropolis.

 

She didn't think it was goodbye when she expanded L-Corp into Europe, returning to Ireland. Nor when the League's missions took her a little too close to the country.

 

She didn't think it was goodbye when she discovered that Lena had adopted a little girl named Lori. Nor when she had to save the plane they were on, which was threatening to crash after an attempt to blow it up. Not when she landed the plane and found out that the little girl was her fan, nor when she pulled her into a hug, while staring into Lena's green eyes watching her. 

 

Kara didn't think it was goodbye, when she, appearing to be at most 40 years old (no children, spouse or any family ties, now that they were all gone), found herself on the side of a large double bed, in which Lena, with her white hair and thin body, a breath of the woman she had been 80 years before (She was 80 years old), was breathing heavily, only with the help of medical equipment. 

 

Kara had always been very good at lying to herself, they both knew it. 

 

Kara then admitted to herself, that although seeing Lena walk away hurt, nothing destroyed her as much as seeing her disappear before her eyes, when all she wanted was time to love her properly. 

 

A Luthor won the battle, after all.

 

In the end, Lena said:

 

"You know, I never really hated you"

 

"I know" Kara held up her hands "It's okay, Lena, I know."

 

 "Do you think I... that I made a mistake?"

 

"Only you can tell" Kara stroked her hair as she stared into her opaque eyes. Old age had long ago taken the shine out of her green eyes. The beauty Kara had always seen in them, however, remained intact. "I lived a good life, I guess. Alex had three children and some grandchildren and I was always the cool aunt, still am. Dox and Nia went back to the future many years ago and I joined the League when Alex retired from the DEO. There was never a shortage of adventure or danger. But I think you know that, don't you?"

 

"Lori has always been a fan of yours"

 

Kara laughs

 

" Yes, I thought so"

 

"I wonder if I made a mistake and I look at you, Kara, looking the same as I remember when I last saw you on my porch. I guess it would always be that, right? We could never have had it all." Lena is interrupted by a dry cough and Kara hands her a glass of water. "You...You had...".

 

"Yes, I did" Lena sighs, but Kara can't guess if it's from heartbreak or relief, then adds "I had someone for a few years, not in the way I always wanted. But it ended quickly, I made a mistake that cost me everything" Kara feels the grip on her hand increase "Even though we couldn't have had everything, we still would have had each other. We would have had something."

 

"Kara..."

 

"It's okay, Lena. You don't have to feel sorry for me. I  short of lived the life I had chosen."Kara kisses Lenas hand" So have you. Honestly, do you regret the good things you found along the way? Lori?" Kara gets silence in response. "I did knew the consequence of not telling you the truth. All I wished thought, was you founding some happiness after all, with or without me"



For a few moments, they both just stare at each other. Until Lena speaks again.

 

"When I was younger, I imagined a girl like Lori in my arms" Lena smiles " But I also imagined you with us, even if I hadn't met you back there yet."

 

"Well, I am here now." Kara declares. 

 

Lena smiles and nods. 

 

"I love you, Kara. I loved you when we were friends. I loved you when you lied to me. I loved you when you almost died every time all those years. I can't go without you knowing. I loved you too much and I just wanted to..."

 

"I know, me too"

 

"Sorry" They both say at the same time and laugh.

 

"We have time, Lena" Kara says, determined " Why don't you tell me about your life with Lori? I'd like to hear about you trying to raise a little girl and run a trillion-dollar company at the same time."

 

They talked for hours and hours, until a whispered, almost inaudible Goodbye was uttered from Lena's lips. And Kara kissed her, a first and last kiss, until the monitor indicated that her heartbeat was zero.

 

Even though she was good at lying to herself, Kara never imagined she would get the goodbye she deserved. In her 30's, she wouldn't let herself think about it, because maybe, just maybe after a while (which turned into 10, 20, 50, 80 years) maybe Lena would forgive her, maybe the brunette would let her back into her life, despite all the pain between them. She deserved a goodbye, but she never wanted one.

 

Kara didn't imagine that there could be greater pain than Krypton disappearing, her parents passing away, of Alex in her old age saying goodbye, nor of longing every minute during those 80 years. But nothing, nothing could compare to the emptiness of having waited and waited and waited and loved and loved until there was no more time.

 

She waited to tell her secret, waited for Lena's time, waited until life passed by without her even realizing it.

 

She always thought she would have time. She always thought it wouldn't be goodbye.

 

Until it was. 





Love conquers all, but time conquers love.