Karkat was annoyed. All he wanted was to rearrange his respiteblock so that his shitty furniture didn't get in his way anymore, but now that he had decided to move his recuperacoon, he needed help. And the only person that could do that was Equius, much to Karkat's chagrin.
So off he went, trudging towards Equius's respiteblock, trying to get into a less angry headspace. It was going to be difficult getting this favor from the blueblood, seeing as Karkat was certain that Equius was black for him. Inducing cooperation would be a challenge, but any good leader is able to gain obedience from even the toughest of subordinates, no matter what sort of budding relationship they might be sharing, and no matter what level of flirting Karkat had been trying to employ to further said relationship. This would be tabled for now, as the primary objective of this interaction was getting Zahhak to move his recuperacoon, dammit.
Karkat was also sick of trying to think with stupid terms like that, it wasn't making him feel any more official. Ugh. He approached the door, trying the knob. Unlocked. He didn't consider knocking for a second, and instead threw the door open forcefully.
"Equius, are you in here... What the fuck is that? What are you doing?!" Karkat shouted. Equius was crouched beside a robot, messing with a panel on its stomach. However, the fact that Equius was working on a robot wasn't what had surprised Karkat. It was that the robot looked exactly like him. Fucking creepy. Equius clearly wasn't aware of his surroundings, because he muttered something about repairs.
"What?" Karkat needed clarification.
"I am doing repairs," Equius replied, still distracted and not realizing who was addressing him.
"Is that me?!" Karkat was beginning to get pissed. Equius paused, then slowly looked up.
"Shoot... uh, yes?" Equius said, awkwardly. Karkat took a deep breath, trying to keep in his anger. Maybe, just this once, he'd be able to control himself. That didn't work, though, and off he went.
"You piece of shit! How fucking dare you? This is so fucked up, what made you think that you had the right? I swear to god if that thing has blue blood I am going to flip my shit!" Karkat shouted. Equius's face was a weird swirl of emotions, ranging from pure terror to smugness. That glint of smugness in his weirdly unshaded eyes just spurred Karkat into deeper anger. He suddenly realized what this meant, that Equius could've been doing god knows what with this hunk of metal.
"Holy shit, what do you even do with this thing? Fight it? For your sake you better hope you haven't fucked it." Karkat's voice had become more of a threatening growl than a yell at this point.
"Certainly not! Is that how lowly you think of me?" Equius said indignantly, blushing.
"Yes. And you clearly don't even get why this is so stupid. Just, ugh, imagine that there's a doll you really fucking want. You see it in the shop window and think, 'Golly, that's a great doll, I think I'll make my own subpar doll to have instead!!' Do you know how stupid that sounds?!" Equius was clearly puzzled by Karkat's sudden shift in topics.
"It seems rather logical, ac%ually." He mumbled in response.
"Yeah, well of course an incompetent shitting waste of space like you would think that. You have the means to get the doll, but you don't actually get it! You can just go into the shop and buy the stupid doll!" Karkat was yelling this quite closely to Equius's face, and the smell of his sweat both disgusted him and attracted him. Fucking caliginous shit. Karkat was so not in the mood to deal with this, he just wanted his recuperacoon moved. For pete's sake!
"I am confused, what does a doll have to do with this?" Equius looked like he was about to pass out. Karkat rolled his eyes.
"The doll is me. It's a metaphor, bulgehead!" Karkat thought, oddly, that Equius really needed to read more. Meanwhile Equius seemed to be holding in a laugh, and Karkat felt the urge to rip his head off.
"You're comparing yourself to a doll. I thought even you wouldn't be so idiotic," Equius said, smiling slightly.
"Shut up, I'm not exactly thinking clearly right now, so maybe you shouldn't judge my shitty metaphors." Karkat spat, blushing. Equius's eyebrows furrowed, why the hell was he confused? Stupid enigmatic asshole. That was it, Karkat was ending this endless circling.
"Don't you get it? I've been sending you signals galore, and you go and do this? You asshole, how dare you replace me?!" Karkat said, incensed. Equius's eyebrow furrow deepened. Ugh, this shit isn't rocket science.
"Replace you?" Equius asked, confused almost to a comical level.
"Yes, replace me. You nookwhiffing sack of shit! I've been flirting with you, you dense idiot. And now I find you built a robotic replica of me?" Karkat whispered harshly. He shoved Equius against the near wall, which was surprisingly easy. Time to end this game and start a new one, Karkat thought savagely.
Then Karkat kissed Equius, one hand pressing his shoulder roughly against the wall, the other pulling their faces together. Karkat bit down on Equius's lip and drew blood, pulling back and looking at him through hooded eyes.
"Get rid of it. And yes, that's an order. If you wanted me, all you had to do was say so," Karkat hissed, blue blood smeared on his lower lip. He stalked away.
Equius sank to the ground, shocked. That single kiss had been better than any of his wildest imaginings.