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Daytime Friends (Night Time Lovers)

Chapter Text





I was attending another one of Frank’s business meetings in a fancy restaurant with his posh English friends and their wives whom I had nothing in common with. Frank dragged me to most of his dinners with his colleagues purely just so he looked good with me on his arm; the quiet and obedient wife, which I was not. I kept that persona for his sake alone. I did not care for his work friends nor their wives, and I certainly did not want to entertain them. 


Often Frank would spring it on me that he was having his bosses, Mr and Mrs Graham over for dinner and I would have to run to the store and pick up expensive steaks and exquisite tasting wine and cook it all to perfection like the good housewife I was. 


I wasn’t a housewife and I never wanted to be, but Frank...well he wanted that life for us. He was very set in his ways about being ‘Old school’ and the husband goes out to work and earns the money and looks after the family whilst the wife stays at home and cooks and cleans for her husband.


 I was not like that in the slightest. I could never be a stay at home wife. I was too invested in my career of being a nurse, which I proudly did for over 10 years, but Frank said my working all hours under the sun was putting a ‘strain’ on our marriage and he couldn’t be without me at home all of the time. 


I never saw it as a strain, we had some weekends together and on the evenings I was off duty, I would cook us a nice meal. In the end I left the hospital and I’ve been at home for nearly 2 months and it was driving me crazy, so I decided I would do some ‘Nanny’ work for the families in and around my area. I had never done anything like this before but I had a lot of experience with children after nursing them for over a decade. 


Frank wasn’t too impressed by my current career path but he wasn’t fit to argue about it. It would be near home and mostly during the day while he worked. Sometimes he wouldn’t get back until 7 or 8pm in the evenings if he was having his ‘meetings’ with the Grahams. He often texted to say he would be late for dinner or not to bother cooking anything because he wouldn’t return in time. The majority of the time I took myself off to bed with a good book before he came home. And when he did come back I was already asleep, or near enough. 


So this was my perfect opportunity to do something in my life, something for fill a gap I had been missing since I left the paediatric unit in the hospital. 


Today I had my first client(s) Jamie Fraser and Fergus Fraser. I had no idea how my shift patterns would work with the Frasers, it wasn’t a set rota per se, it was more like Jamie would let me know when he needed me and I was okay with working sporadic hours since I hadn’t much else to do with my time. 


I stood nervously, hesitant to knock on the door of the large house that they lived in. I flattened out my long black pencil skirt and white blouse and mentally kicked myself for making myself look like some sort of business woman. 

Today wasn’t a shift, it was a ‘get to know you’ set-up where I would sit down with both Fergus and Jamie and we could get a feel of things. 


With that, I straightened my back, flattened a few stray curls and knocked on the door. 

I heard the padding of footsteps and the door flew open and a very tall, handsome, red haired man answered with a thrilling smile. 


“Hello, ye must be the Nanny, Mrs Randall?” He immediately offered his hand out to me and I politely took it and shook. “Yes, but please call me Claire.” I smiled up at him and he nodded back in response before we stood momentarily gazing at each other. 

“Sorry, I’m Jamie. Come in..” he chuckled nervously as he offered me inside and I followed him through the long narrow hallway. 


“Fergus, get down stairs, we have a wee guest!” Jamie shouted up the stairs to the young boy. 


“Follow me.” He said, taking me through to the living area which was beautifully set out, a small leather sofa and chair to match with a wooden coffee table in the middle of the floor. The sofas faced a wall with a built-in coal fire and a large flat screen television hung above. On the right hand side of the sofas were large double patio doors that opened up to a medium sized, perfectly mowed lawn. The patio had a small 4 table and chair set with a parasol in the middle. It was enchanting. 


“Your home is lovely.” I said, sitting as Jamie offered me a seat in the leather chair. 

“Aye, weeel, still a lot to do. We've been here now, nearly 2 months.” Jamie said, seeming to be getting impatient with the wait of his son, he shook his head and mumbled something under his breath before excusing himself to go and find the boy. 


“Fergus Alexander Fraser, get here now!” Jamie’s scottish voice bellowed through the house and I couldn’t help but form a smile at his authoritative voice. 

“Aye! I’m coming!” Fergus said as I heard his small footsteps coming down the stairs. 


Jamie walked in with Fergus behind him. “Fergus, say hello to Claire. She will be looking after ye while I work, Aye?” Jamie nodded and gently pushed Fergus in my direction.


“Hello, Madame. My name is Fergus and I am 7 years old and I am very pleased to meet such a beautiful lady.” Fergus then stood back and bowed down to me. I was slightly taken aback by the intrepid child. 


“Fergus, get up ye wee fool!” Jamie scolded and offered me an apologetic look. “Well hello young sir, it’s a pleasure to meet you too.” I laughed and he grabbed onto my hand and kissed the back of it. “I assure you, Lady, the pleasure is entirely mine.” I burst into laughter and Jamie cradled his head in his hands in embarrassment. “You’re quite the joker aren’t you?” I laughed. “I aim to please.” He responded and sat himself besides Jamie.


“Claire would ye like a drink?” Jamie asked. “Oh yes please, tea if you have it?” I smiled. “Aye, come wi’ me.” He stood up and I followed him out of the lounge and to the kitchen, leaving Fergus sitting on the couch. 


“I’m sorry about my lad, he canna hold his tongue.”

Jamie said, picking up the kettle and filling it up. “Oh don’t worry, he’s bold. But he seems sweet.” I smiled. 

Jamie leaned up to the cupboard to retrieve two mugs. “He’s a good lad, ye ken? He has been through a lot in his little life.” Jamie sighed and turned to the fridge to get some milk. “I’m sorry to hear that, is your wife not around anymore?” I asked and then instantly regretted asking such a personal question, why did I do that? And to make it worse, Jamie stood silent pouring the boiling water into each mug. 


“I’m sorry that was—“ Jamie cut me off. “No, no. There’s no wife, I’ve never been marrit. As for Fergus, he’s my adopted son. His mother abandoned him as a baby.” Jamie said as he handed me the warm cup of tea and I thanked him as I leaned back against the kitchen cupboards. “So how long have you had him?” I asked. “3 years now.” Jamie said as his face broke into a huge beam. “That’s really lovely, Jamie.” I smiled at him sweetly and he shrugged his shoulders and opened his mouth to speak but Fergus came running into the kitchen. 


“JJ, can I have a wee snack?” He begged, bouncing up and down on his tippy toes. “Aye, if it keeps ye quiet.” Jamie laughed. 


“So Claire, shall we discuss yer shifts?” 


“I’d love to.”


Chapter Text

I reached the driveway of my house and noticed the black sports car pulled up my drive. 




The Graham’s were here. I thought about turning back around and walking around the streets until they left but I was so tired and in need of some food. 


“Frank, I’m home!” I shouted. “Ah, Darling!” He came over and took my coat off my shoulders and hung it up, he then bent down to peck my cheek. “Mr. and Mrs. Graham are here for a wine, come join us, love.” Frank said, ushering me to the living area. “I’ll get you some wine. Red or white?” He shouted from the kitchen. “White.” I shouted back. “Hello.” I sat down on my large arm chair opposite the sofa the Graham’s were on. 


“Hello dear, I hear you have a new job.” Mr. Graham said. “Yes, I started today.” I smiled at them and Frank walked back into the room holding my glass of white. “Oh yes Claire is nannying for the children in the area.” Frank rolled his eyes and passed me my drink. 


“And how is that?” Mrs. Graham asked, smiling at me sweetly, eyes curious below her long eyelashes. “It’s nice. I met a lovely family today.” I nodded and took a sip from my drink. 


Ah the expensive stuff, I thought so.


 “Claire what would a lovely woman such as yourself want to be doing with snotty nosed children?” Mr. Graham scoffed snorting into his glass. “That is quite prejudiced of you, Mr. Graham. Children are wonderful. I have cared for and lost many in my nursing career. Children are the future.” I said, flatly. Which earned me a striking snarl from Frank. 


“Quite right, Mrs. Randall.” He laughed before finishing off his last sip of wine.


“Well if you don’t mind I’m going to wash up and head to bed, I have to be up early to take Fergus to school.” I smiled sweetly and Frank looked like I had just committed murder. “Darling, close your mouth.” I laughed as I stood up. 


“Good night.” I said, and lightly squeezed Mrs. Graham’s shoulder on my way past.


 “Oh Mrs. Graham, we ought to meet for lunch.” 


“I’d like that Mrs. Randall.” 

‘Mrs. Randall’ I thought to myself, that’s all I am. I’m not Claire. I’m just Mrs. Randall. It was so formal and posh it made me want to vomit. 

I walked into the en-suite bathroom Frank and I shared and ran myself a bath. 


“Claire, what the fuck was that?” Frank came storming into the bathroom while I was soaking in the tub. “What do you mean?” I scoffed. Frank walked further into the bathroom and put the toilet seat lid down and sat on it and faced me. 


“That’s my boss, you can’t and won’t speak to him like that.” He snapped. “Oh and he can speak to me any way he likes then, is it? I am your wife or does that not mean anything to you?” I was in disbelief. 


“Of course it does, I love you. But please, just hold your tongue around Mr. Graham.” He sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I love you.” I said puckering my lips at him insinuating for him to come over and kiss me. He rolled his eyes and came over to me, bending down to place a chaste kiss on my lips. 




“Good morning.” I chirped as Jamie opened the door. 


“Hello Sassenach.” Jamie said, letting me into the house. 


“What does that mean?” I frowned at him in confusion. 


“Och, dinna fash. It just means ‘English woman.’  I noticed yer wee posh accent yesterday.” Jamie smirked as he led me through to the kitchen. 


“I made ye a cup of tea since I canna hang about. I have meetings with the company all day so I apologise I canna stay.” Jamie said, offering me the mug.


“Thank you Jamie, you’re too kind.” I smiled at his kind gesture. 


“What do you need from me today then?” I asked, sipping the hot liquid. 


“Weel, Fergus has school so if ye can get his clothes out for him and make him some lunch to take. He finishes at 3:30 and I willna be home until after 6:00 so if ye can pick him up and bring him home for dinner I’d appreciate it.” Jamie said as I watched as his brain was ticking trying to think if he had forgotten anything else. 


“That’s fine, I have to leave by 7:30 at the latest, though. My husband and I have this—“ Jamie cut me off, “Husband? Ye never said ye were married?” He frowned. “Well I didn’t think much about putting my marital status on my work reference.” I joked but Jamie didn’t laugh. “You dinna have a ring.” He nodded to my left hand. 


“’s currently at the jewellers having an extra stone put in.” I cleared my throat feeling some sort of tension in the air. 


“Aye, well I best be off. I’ll shout Fergus down on my way out. Have a nice day, Claire.” He half-smiled as he turned swiftly and left. 



4:00 pm


Fergus and I returned back to the house after I had collected him from school. “Shoes and coat away please.” I asked politely. “Yes ma’am!” Fergus responded and did as I had asked. 


“What should I cook for dinner?” I asked while I scanned the contents of the fridge, freezer and cupboards. 


“I’ll have pizza if JJ bought any.” He said. 


“Yeah there’s pizza. Have you got any homework to do?” I said, taking the pizza out of its box and turning on the oven. 


“No, I’ve already done this week's homework.” Fergus skipped out of the kitchen. 


“So what are you going to do now?” I quizzed. 


“Well I was going to go on my Xbox and play with my friends.” He shrugged. “Alright,” I paused. “I thought maybe you’d want to sit with me and talk?”


“Okay” He said, flopping himself down on a kitchen chair.


“So what’s your story then?” Fergus asked, picking up an apple and tossing it in the air trying to catch it. 


“My story?” I asked and Fergus nodded. “Not much kid, I was a nurse, I have a husband and now I’m a nanny.” 


“A husband? Oh JJ will be disappointed.” Fergus feigned as I turned to face him. 


“What do you mean?” I tilted my head. 


“Well I know he thinks you're pretty…” Fergus shrugged. “Well that’s very kind of him, but I’m sure your dad is just fine with me having a husband.” I laughed. “Aye, you are my nanny after all.” 


“That I am.”

7:15 pm


Jamie still hadn’t returned back from work and I knew Frank would be already at the restaurant by now, probably going bat shit crazy that I had stood him up. I texted to let him know I had to stay late but he didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen it or he was trying to punish me. 


I sent Fergus to bed at 7:00 to watch a movie before Jamie got back. I decided I was probably going to be here for a while so I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea just as the front door clicked open and Jamie rushed through the door. 


“Christ, Claire. I’m sae sorry lass. I had lost track of time in my meetings, have I made ye late?” He rushed to me. 


“It doesn’t matter, he’s gone without me. Don’t worry, I’d rather skip his stupid work meetings anyways.” I half-laughed. 


“I was just making a drink but you're here now so I suppose I’ll go.”  


“No! I- I mean you dinna have to.” Jamie swallowed. “Why don’t ye have a drink wi’ me and tell me how the wee devil’s been?” Jamie raised a brow and smiled. 


“Alright, I suppose a cup of tea never killed anyone.” 

Chapter Text

Jamie’s pov


I left the house and made my way to my BMW. I climbed into the driver's seat and I began the journey to the office. I’m meeting my godfather and best friend, Murtagh, for a business meeting regarding our importation of Scottish whiskey.


I found myself thinking of Claire while I drove; her beautiful bouncy curls, those bonny whiskey eyes that make me feel drunk, a good heart and an intriguing personality, and the captivating smile she always held. She’s completely mesmerising; she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I always find myself wanting to know more about her, everything about her. I’ve never felt this drawn to anyone like this before, not in the short amount of time I’ve known her. Christ, it was only the second day but I’ve already found myself wanting to be in her company, wanting to be in her presence, always. 


She’s a closed book and I want to read every chapter. But like a cold bucket of water on my thoughts I remembered what she had said that morning about having to leave to go on a date with her husband. 




I hate that I’m saddened by it; but there’s not a lot I can do because she is only  Fergus’ nanny after all. It’s not as if anything could or would happen between us, no matter how much I longed for it. But it does no harm to look, right? 

I pulled up to the office and made my way inside. As I entered the room I saw Murtagh was ready and waiting for me. 


“Ah, mo caraid! Yer finally here.”  Murtagh said, holding his hand out to shake. 


“A Dhia, sorry I’m a wee bit late. I had to get my boy settled with the nanny.” I said taking a seat in the office chair next to Murtagh. 


“Oh aye? How’s that goin’ is she good wi’ him?” 


“Murtagh, she’s incredible. She’s caring, she’s funny, she’s smart, she’s beautiful…” I said, feeling heat creep into my cheeks as I thought about her. 


“ wee dolt; yer no crushing on yer wee sitter are ye?” Murtagh raised a questionable brow. 


“What? No! I have just picked up on a few of her qualities. Tis’ good is it no’? She’s good for Fergus.” I said though I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince more but it certainly wasn’t convincing Murtagh by any means. 


“Aye. Just be careful lad, ye dinna wanna get yer’self caught up…” Murtagh stated, patting my shoulder reassuringly. 


“I ken. It’s no’ gon’ happen anyway. She’s marrit.” I said, shaking my head. 


“Marrit? And yer swooning? Jamie, boy...take it from yer ol’ godfather..yer walkin’ in a dangerous territory. Keep yer wits about ye and be sensible.” I nodded my head at that. Murtagh was always good at giving me the best advice. 


“Aye, Bodach. Dinna fash about me. This doesna go any further. Claire and I are and will remain friends.” I said, seeming to try and reassure both parties, both Murtagh and myself.


“Let’s get on wi’ this wee paperwork, Aye? Ye ken what yer auntie Jo is like. She’ll tan my arse if I’m no’ back before dinner.” 

We both laughed knowing exactly what Jocasta is like. 



Claire Pov

I followed Jamie through to the living room and made myself comfortable on the sofa as Jamie sat beside me and passed me the cup. 


“Thank you.” 


“How’s he been for ye? He’s no’ given ye any cheek has he?” Jamie said as he softly chuckled and I in turn.


“Not at all. He’s a credit to you.” 


“Aye. He’s a good lad, for all he’s been through. He came to me when he had just turned 5. He’s gonna be 8 in a few months.” Jamie smiled with pride.


“How did you come to be his adopted father?” I questioned as I took a sip from my drink. 


“Weel that’s a story. My sister, Jenny, worked at a foster home in scotland. She’s verra attached to kids, ye ken? She’s got 3 of her own. She cared for Fergus a whole year before I took him. He took to her instantly and she connected wi’ him. She’d come home crying because she badly wanted to help him, so I made the decision to apply for adoption. It was a long road but we got there. It was the best decision of my life. He’s my son.” Jamie’s eyes filled with tears and I felt my heart swell. 


I gently placed my hand on his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You did the right thing. He’s a lovely boy. He’s lucky to have you.” My voice was soft as I looked in his eyes. 


“Och, nay, I’m the lucky one, Sassenach.” He nodded and swiped away a single tear. 


“Enough about me aye, what about ye?” Jamie queried, waiting for an answer. 


“Well what about me?” I chuckled. 


“What’s yer history?” 


“Rather boring really. I met my husband at college 15 years ago, he was 20 and I was 18. He studied history and I was majoring in nursing. We married 5 years later and I started my career. It was good, I loved being a nurse but recently Frank and I….well, Frank didn’t feel I was home enough so I gave it up and now I’m here.” I shrugged. 


“Yer no’ boring sassenach. I read in yer rèsumè that ye were a paediatric nurse, aye?” Jamie looked at me with concentration written on his face. He was immersed in every word.


“Yes I was. I love it. I love children and it was my dream job. I was sad to leave the hospital but, nonetheless I am still working with children doing my nannying.” I said drinking the remainder of my tea.


“Maybe one day ye’ll return to it.” Jamie offered a warm smile. 




We chatted a little more about our pasts. Jamie told me he lost both of his parents when he was a young boy and it changed his life forever.

I knew exactly how he felt since I had lost my parents myself. We talked of our families and growing up in England and Scotland. 


“What brought ye to Boston?” Jamie asked. 


“Frank.” I said, clearing my throat. “He was offered a position at Harvard and there wasn’t a cat in hell's chance he was missing that opportunity. He would’ve gone with or without me.” 


“So ye just up and left, leaving ye life behind?” Jamie asked in a state of disbelief. 

“Yes. Something like that I suppose.” I said with a twinge of disappointment lingering in my tone.


“Christ, Claire. That’s no’ fair.” Jamie shook his head. 


“Well he is my husband and I am his wife. I had to support him.” I said a bit too firmly. 

“I’m sorry, I dinna mean any offence Claire.” He said knitting his brows together. 


“None taken.” I said, waving off his comment with my hand. 


“I really must get going…” I said placing my cup down on the coffee table.


“Aye, dinna want to keep him waiting.” 

“Good night then, Jamie..” I said, making my way to the front door. 


“Good night, Sassenach. I’ll see ye tomorrow? I have to leave at 8.” Jamie said, following and opening the door for me. 


“I’ll be here at seven.” I smiled and gave him a small wave before exiting and clicking my car keys to unlock it. 



“Frank, are you back darling?” I called, chucking my handbag onto the couch and shrugging off my coat. 


There was no response from Frank. I walked into the kitchen to make myself a drink before bed and he was standing leaning against the kitchen counter with a whiskey in hand. 


“There you are. Why are you in here?” I laughed and walked over to him placing my hands on his shoulders. He shrugged me off and my brow creased with confusion. 


“What’s wrong?” 


Frank scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Seriously Claire?” He shook his head. “You really are clueless..” 


“Tell me what’s wrong.” I said placing my palm flat on his chest and he placed his hand over mine and removed it harshly, dropping it at my side. 


“You stood me up. You're my wife, do you realise how humiliating that was?” He took a sip from his whiskey and curled his lip. 


“I told you I had to stay late, I’m sorry.” 


“No Claire. You are thinking of yourself, again.” He slammed his glass down in the sink and walked past me and bumped my shoulder with his own, making me stumble back slightly. 


I followed him through the living room into our bedroom. 


“Frank...don’t be unreasonable. I have to work too darling. I’m sure your boss didn’t mind me not being there this one time.” I said, trying to reassure him as we started to get changed for bed. 


“It’s not good enough. You said you would be there.” He spat out and sat down on his side of the bed to remove his trousers. 


I sighed. 


I climbed into the bed and crawled my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck from behind and resting my chin on his head. 


“Let me make it up to you.” I whispered in his ear. 


“” He lent into my chest. 


“Well…” I pressed my lips to his neck and his eyes fluttered shut. 


“Lay down and I’ll show you.” 




“Good morning, Sassenach. Would ye like a cup of tea?” Jamie’s smiley face greeted me and I nodded following him into the kitchen. I threw myself down in a dining chair while Jamie boiled the kettle. 


“Ye look worn out, rough night?” Jamie teased. 


“Something like that..” I mumbled. Jamie’s head snapped in my direction and I realised then he was just joking. I felt the colour rushing to my cheeks realizing he caught on to what I meant.


“What I mean is, uhm, Frank was upset about me missing the meal.” I said and cleared my throat. 


He nodded at me and wetted his lips to talk. “Aye, well I’m sorry if I got ye into trouble.” He walked over to me and placed the steaming hot mug in front of me. 


“No you didn’t. I told you I was flexible!” I felt flushed again. 


“What I mean by flexible is, my working hours I will work when you need me to. I didn’t mean I was flexible in my body…okay I’ll just shut up now.” I was sure I was positively glowing all shades of pink and red. 


Jamie laughed at me and shook his head. 


“Tis’ alright sassenach, it was funny.” 


Fergus came bouncing into the kitchen and made his way to the bread bin, taking out the loaf and placing two slices into the toaster. He hadn't realised that I was there until he spun around to speak to Jamie and I caught his eye. 


“Claire-Bear! Good morning!” He rushed over to me and nearly knocked me off my chair wrapping his arms around my neck and squeezing me. “Hello to you too, Soldier.” I chuckled and prodded him in the ribs. 


“Let go of Claire laddo, yer toast is burnin’' Jamie scolded. 


“Ahhh...Cra— I mean, oops. Want some toast bear?” Fergus said, studying the half-burnt toast. 


“I don’t think so. Not if that’s how you make it. Here let me.” I said making my way over and replacing the toast with fresh slices. 


“Fergus I need ye to do yer homework as soon as ye get home please. Yer auntie and uncle are coming for dinner.” Jamie said, taking a banana from the fruit bowl and having a bite. 


“Uncle Murtagh and Auntie Jo?” Fergus said giddy.




“And cousin Merida, Finn and Archie??” He got even more excited and Jamie nodded. 


“That reminds me I need to run to the store and get the supplies. I’ll have to do it on my way home and push dinner back so I’ll have time to cook it.” Fergus looked up at me and I looked at Fergus. 


“I can go for you if you like? Fergus and I could make a start on it so it’s ready for when you get back.” I suggested. 


“Och, I couldna have ye do that, Claire. Yer my nanny no’ housemaid.” He laughed. 


“Well why not? I could go after I drop Fergus off at school, it’s no bother really.” 


“If you really dinna mind? I’d be truly grateful.” Jamie stood up and made his way to the sink, rinsing out his empty cup.


“Yes, of course.  Just text me the list.” I said smiling. 


“Would ye maybe wanna stay too? I ken Murtagh would love to meet ye, and he loves Fergus just as much as I do.” Jamie said with a look of hope. 


“Please Claire-bear!!” Fergus said, jumping up and down and holding my hand. 


“Well alright. I suppose so.” I said as I grinned. 


“Great. I’ll text ye. I have to go now.”  Jamie said, grabbing his keys. “Be good for Claire.” He ruffled Fergus locks and he scoffed at him before turning to leave. 


“Have a good day!” I chirped. 


Without warning, Jamie leaned over and pressed a wet kiss to my cheek and lingered for a second as I felt my heart stop in my chest. 


Why is he so close to me, and why am I relishing in it? 


His lips brushed my ear and he whispered, “I’ll see ye tonight.” He turned away from me and left. 


I could only stare at the closed door as I stood in the kitchen, frozen, cradling my wet cheek.

Chapter Text

“Alright Mr., Have a good day.” I said, waving to Fergus through the rearview mirror as I dropped him off at school. 


“Thanks bear, see you later.” He smiled, tossing a wave back and grabbed ahold of his backpack and swiftly exited the car. 


I noticed the small square Tupperware on the seat. 


“Wait, Fergus!” I shouted climbing out of my car and running after him. 


“Here,” I said when I caught up to him, slightly out of breath.


“You need to get in shape, bear.” Fergus laughed at my inability to run a short distance without running out of breath. 


“Cheeky,” I pushed his shoulder and he gave me a final wave before running off to school. 

I pulled out my phone.

Jamie Fraser: 


Hello, Sassenach. 

I forgot to give you my credit card, I’ll text you the address to my office and you can come and collect it before you head to the store. 


 Jamie 😘 x

I smiled and shook my head as I read his text message, a warm feeling spreading through my stomach and blushing my cheeks. Just as I started to type out my reply another text came through with the full address. I typed it all into my maps and followed the route. 


I called Jamie’s number, it rang all of three times before he answered. 


“Sassenach, what do I owe the pleasure?” He chirped. 


“I’m outside, but I don’t know which entrance to drive to.” I sighed. 


“Aye, I’m coming.” 


Just as I was about to say ‘okay’ he hung up and no more than 5 seconds later he was standing at one of the side doors waving at me like a goon. 

I grinned as I unfastened my seatbelt and climbed out of my car and made my way over to him. 


“Hey.” I smiled. 


“Hello there, would ye like to come in and have a wee look?” He nodded his head enthusiastically. 


“Sure, why not?” He turned and held the door open for me as we walked into the building. I trailed behind him as we walked down the long narrow corridor and into a large office room. There was a large oak desk in the center of it with a computer screen and a photocopier tucked into the corner. 


I followed him to his desk where he told me to take a seat. 


“What is this, some sort of interview?” I joked and sat myself down crossing one leg over the other and wrapping my hands around my knee. 


“Och, nah. Ye’ve already got the job.” he smirked and offered a sluggish blink. 


Wait, was that a….wink? 


I couldn’t help but laugh. 


“Did Fergus get there alright?” Jamie asked and sat himself in his chair in front of the desk. 


“Yes he’s fine, he forgot his lunch though so I had to go running after him. He thought it absolutely hilarious that I couldn’t catch my breath.” 


“He’s a wee devil. I’ll be sure to give him a talking to.” Jamie grinned, eyeing me up and down. 


“Ye dinna look like yer unfit, Sassenach.” He said, licking his bottom lip.


“Well, I’ve never been to a gym in my life. Besides, Frank would most likely be against it.” I shrugged, feeling slightly awkward and somehow disappointed and ashamed. 


“So, here’s my card.” Jamie ignored my comment and fished into his pocket for his credit card. I took it out of his hand and smiled. 


“Right. Well then I best be off.” I stood up and turned away from Jamie to leave. 


“Wait!” Jamie said and I felt his large warm hand on my upper arm. 


I stopped in my tracks and turned around and looked at him questionably. 


“Ye forgot the list.” He said, holding a piece of paper between two fingers. 


I felt my cheeks go instantly red. 


Why was I going red? Why did I feel completely embarrassed right now? Why was he still holding my arm?


“Oh, yes.” I laughed and gently pulled my arm from his grip and then retrieved the paper from between his fingers. 


“See you tonight.” I cleared my throat and turned away to start the journey back to my car.


I could feel his eyes piercing into the back of me as I walked off. His eyes burned holes and I couldn’t figure out which part of my body was burning the most, quite possibly my arse. 


“Fergus, pass me the bag of potatoes please.” I started to prepare dinner for this evening after picking Fergus up from school. 


Jamie had asked for chicken, potatoes and vegetables and for dessert lemon meringue pie. 


“You peel, I’ll chop.” I said and Fergus rolled his eyes at me. 


“Hey! Don’t do that! I thought you were all aboard this morning?” I raised my brow at him and he shrugged his shoulders. 


“Yeah, just cos’ I wanted you to stay, I know JJ really really wanted you too.” He picked up a potato and began to examine it like it was some sort of alien. 


“And why is that?” I clipped and began chopping the potatoes into cubes. 


“Well, I don’t know. He just likes you I suppose. Maybe cos’ you're a woman and me and JJ don’t often have women around.” He chucked me the peeled potato. 


“I’m nothing special, I’m just the nanny.” I laughed. “Plus, I’m still getting to know the both of you.” I mumbled. 


“Oui, but we already love you, bear.” He patted my shoulder reassuringly. 


“Good to know.” I smiled. 


Fergus really was a sweet little boy and I could see he craved attention, who could blame him? He hasn’t had anyone in his life on a regular basis until Jamie adopted him. Even though he had a father in Jamie I could see he wanted more, I hoped one day that he would have a mother figure in his life if Jamie were to ever marry someone. Fergus deserved nothing but stability. 

Jamie came home around 6:00 and made his way in the kitchen. “Christ, that smells lovely.” He said, inhaling the scent of the dinner simmering on the stove. “Thank you.” 


“Are ye alright if I take a wee shower? Murtagh and Jo will be here in about 30 minutes.” Jamie smiled at me and started  unbuttoning his coat. 


“Of course, it’s almost done.” I said.


“Thank ye.” He flashed me a smile and headed off upstairs to have his shower. 


Jamie had been gone no longer than 5 minute before I heard a loud scream-squeal coming from the bathroom. I ran upstairs and Jamie came running out of the room with his towel wrapped low around his waist; his body dripping wet. 


I stood frozen staring at him, the plush white towel hung low on his hips emphasising the sharp V under his navel.


Look away. Look away. Look away. 


“W-what’s happened?” I stammered and turned my head to look at the wall beside him. 


“Damn bloody boiler.” He mumbled and moved his way past me. 


“Excuse me, Sassenach.” He huffed; I stepped aside and let him walk past me, his wet chest briefly brushed against my arm as he moved down the stairs to check the boiler. 


“Fuck.” He moaned as he fumbled around with the pressure on the boiler. 


“Is it not working?” I quizzed; standing behind him. 


“Nay. I’ll have to call the god-damn plumber. No-one will come out at this hour though, it’ll have to be tomorrow now.” He said throwing his hands in the air in frustration. 


“It’s nearly time for your family to be here, Jamie. You might want to put some clothes on.” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to hold back a nervous giggle I could feel bubbling in my throat. 


“Oh christ; I’m sorry, Claire. I dinna even ken about what ye must be thinkin’ of me.” He shook his head, his wet locks sticking to his forehead and nape.


“It's quite alright. I suppose it’s better that you managed to grab a towel.” I joked and his cheeks lightly flushed pink. 


“Go, I’ll set the table, you go get dressed, soldier.” I said ushering him upstairs. 



“Murtagh, Jo..this is Claire, Fergus’ caretaker.” Jamie introduced me to his family and both reached out and shook my hand. 


“It’s verra nice t’ meet ye, Claire.” Jo smiled and nodded as I ushered them to the dining table where I offered seats and placed their plates in front of them. 


“Jamie, ye invited the lass as yer guest and ye got her doin’ yer dirty work.” Murtagh tutted at Jamie as I sat down. 


“It’s alright, don’t worry. I enjoy being busy.” I smiled and tucked into my chicken dinner. 


We talked over dinner and wine for what felt like ages. Murtagh and Jo told us about their storybook romance and how they met when they were just 16 and fell in love and married as soon as they hit 18. They thought they would never be blessed with children but 16 years ago they were blessed with their first miracle, Merida, 13 years ago, Finn. And 10 years ago, Archie. 


We eventually drifted to the topic of me and I told them about my husband and my career. They seemed genuinely interested in me and cared to listen to my story, which was really nice because after all I was just the nanny. 


Somehow it felt more than that though, I don’t know why but I felt like I was part of their little bubble. I was never made to feel like I was just an employee. 


My phone buzzed next to me just as we started our dessert. 




“Excuse me, it’s my husband.” I cleared my throat and took myself out of the dining room and into the hall. 




“Claire, where the fuck are you?” He spat. 


“I’m at the Fraser's. I told you that.” I said. 


“You missed our dinner plans.” He sighed. 


“Frank, we didn’t have any dinner plans today.” I said running my fingers through my hair. 


“Doesn’t matter if it was an actual ‘plan’ you’re my wife and you should be home with me eating dinner. Not with strangers you barely know.” He scoffed. 


“That’s how I’m getting to know them, Frank. By spending time with them. This is my job and if I want to keep it then I need to do this.” I heard footsteps approaching. 


“Sassenach?” Jamie called. 


“Claire, come home.” Frank warned. 


“I’ll be home in 20 minutes.” I hung up. 


I turned to Jamie who had a worried look on his face. 


“I’m sorry I have to cut dinner short, Frank’s expecting me.” I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear. 


“Aye. He’s no’ mad at ye, is he?” Jamie’s brows furrowed. 


“No, no. Not at all.” I coughed. 


“I really do have to go.” I said, taking my coat from the stand and wrapping myself in it. 


“Thank you for having me over, Jamie.” I gave him a weak smile, looking away and stepped back to walk away, when Jamie pulled me into a tight hug. 


“No, Sassenach. Thank you.” He mumbled into my curls. I swear I heard him take a deep breath before letting go. 


Chapter Text






“That was the whole point of leaving the hospital, Claire. So we could be together more.” Frank sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut out of frustration. 


“Frank, we have been together a lot recently, this was hardly a setback.” I also joined in with the sighing, feeling my head slightly pump with tension. 


“We were supposed to have dinner together, Claire.” he scoffed and shook his head. “Do I mean nothing to you?!” He raised his voice slightly, I can see the agitation growing further when he drops his hands to his sides and balls his fists.


“Don’t be ridiculous - you know that’s not true!” I defend myself feeling slightly hurt at the thought of him thinking such things. 


“You’re my husband, you mean everything to me.” My voice softened. 


“It doesn’t feel like that. To me, all you want to do is spend your time with those Frasers. Why not put all your effort into trying to extend our family instead of looking after that kid.” He waved his hand in front of him with a disgusted look on his face. 


“That’s not fair and you know it. I have a duty to him. He’s vulnerable.” I tried to reason with Frank but I knew it was getting me nowhere. 


“Vulnerable? So are you, Claire, and that father of his is taking advantage of your soft heart.” He scolded.


“Oh Jesus, Frank, really? I am not vulnerable. You know I care for children, I have done it my whole career, and as for Jamie, he’s done nothing but be kind to me. I have to be around him, I look after his son for god sake!” My voice started to raise and I'll be damned if I let Frank hear the slight crack towards the end. 


“Oh darling, can’t you see? He obviously just wants to try and get into your pants.” Frank’s shoulders moved up and down as he started to stifle a sarcastic laugh. 


What a fucking prick!


“How dare you!” I shouted, begging the tears not to fall from my eyes. One hot tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek onto the floor. 


“You know nothing about Jamie! Do I have to spell it out for you, hm? I’m his fucking Nanny! And he’s my fucking EMPLOYER. FRANK!” I said, emphasising the word ‘employer’ trying to see if it registers in his delusional mind. I cleared my throat and folded my arms against my chest to stop my hands from shaking.


“You are being one hell of a prick tonight, Frank. Don’t even think about following me to bed.” I turned on my heel and walked away, leaving him standing there snarling and rubbing his temples in frustration. 


I stormed into my bedroom and slammed the door behind me to emphasise my hurt and anger. 


What a dick


I don’t know what he thought he could possibly gain from this but clearly it’s all he wants to do and is continuing to do is push me away. I threw my bed covers back and slid into the cold sheets. 

As soon as my head hit the pillow the tears began to flow uncontrollably. I covered my mouth with my duvet to muffle the sounds of my sobs.

I woke up the next morning feeling like I had been hit over the head with a frying pan. I barely slept and had cried for over an hour before eventually falling asleep on my soaked pillow and woke again not long after, unable to sleep; thinking of the words Frank and I shared. I tossed and turned for hours wondering if I should go and wake him and tell him to come to bed. But I couldn’t give in like that. 


I couldn’t let him win, he had to know I was upset and I wasn’t going to go crawling back in there and apologise for his behaviour. I swear sometimes he gets a kick out of making me feel like a piece of shit on his shoe. He walks all over me and for some reason I let him. 


I forced myself to sit up and slump against the headboard, scrubbing my hands on my face and grabbed my phone. I peel one eye open to glance at the time. 


5:55 am. Fantastic. 


I hover over my text messages and chew my bottom lip considering whether to text Jamie or not. 


I didn’t want to leave him in the dark but at the same time I couldn’t face him or Fergus today after no sleep and the fact that I feel dead inside. I wouldn’t be much use. 


After careful consideration, I press on his name and begin to type my message. 

Claire: Hey, are you awake?

I press send and watch as it says delivered. I stare at the screen and wait for a response. It wasn’t long before the little bubble popped up to indicate he was typing. 


He stopped typing and my phone started to buzz in my hand. 


Jamie Fraser: calling.


I sucked in a breath before hovering over the accept button for a moment. 


“Hello?” I croaked placing the phone to my ear. 


“Sassench?” He said in a hoarse, sleepy tone. 


“Yes?” I whisper. 


“What’s wrong? Are ye ok lass?” He cleared his throat. 


“Yeah. I mean no, not really. I’m not feeling well but I don’t want to let you down. If you need me to take Fergus to school I will.” I fiddled with the hem of my shirt while I spoke to him. 


“Are ye sick?” He exhaled sharply. 


“No. I haven’t slept at all and I’ve got a huge headache and I feel like someone’s knocked me out with a baseball bat.” I stifle a laugh. 


“I’m sorry Claire. Dinna fash about us we’ll manage today. Murtagh can make a start while I drop Fergus tae school, Aye? I dinna want ye gettin’ yerself upset. It’s no’ a problem.” Jamie reassured me. 


“Thank you, Jamie. I’m so sorry. I will be back to normal tomorrow morning, I promise.” 


“Dinna fash yerself, I told ye. Do ye need anythin’ I can pop ye some medication round on my dinner break, hm?” He offered. 


God he’s so kind. Why is he so kind?


“Oh no! Honestly. Thanks, though.” I twist the bottom of my shirt around my finger. 


“Text me if ye change yer mind.” Why can I see him smiling at me through the fucking speaker. 


“I will.” I smiled back, as if he could see me.

*face palms*


“Bye, Claire.”


“Bye, Jamie.” I hung up. 


I sigh. And I snuggle back down into the bed and cocoon myself in my duvet. I was not moving again today. I wanted to lay here and wallow in self pity. 


That didn’t happen. 


“Claire?...” I hear from the other side of the door. 



“Leave me alone, Frank.” I respond in a sharp tone. 


“Please let me in, darling.” He whined. 


I roll my eyes and shake my very sore head. Why am I doing this? 


“Fine, make it quick.” I snapped.


I hear the door creaking open and Frank appears from around it looking like a scolded puppy. 


“What is it?” I said, flatly. 


“What’re you doing?” He nods his head gesturing towards me cocooned in the bed. 


“I’m in bed….” I trail off. Pretty obvious, is it not?


“Haven’t you got work?” He mumbled and walked further into the room and perched himself at the end of the bed near my feet. 


“I cancelled.” I huffed.


“Why?” He frowns, his eyes narrowing. He wore those ridiculous black framed glasses that practically swallowed his face. I hated them. 


“Because I didn’t sleep. I have a headache.” I shrug. 


“Oh. Doesn’t the boy need you?” Frank asked.


“I thought you said he wasn’t my responsibility?” I raise a brow at him. 


“I didn’t actually use those words, Claire,” he shook his head. 


“Close enough,” I mumbled and rolled over to face away from him. 


“Look. I know it’s your job, I’ll try to be more reasonable.” He placed his hand on my leg and I Instantly pulled away. 


“That’s just it though isn’t it? It shouldn’t be like this! Do I go off on you when you work late with Mr. Graham? Or when him and his wife are sat in my fucking living room when I get home from work and I want to relax with my husband, hm?! No, I don’t. Because I respect your work.”  I grit my teeth as I sit up and throw my hands up in frustration. 


“For fuck sake Claire! I try to apologise and you just can’t help yourself but continue the argument! Christ you always make everything so fucking difficult,” he pushes himself off the bed and makes his way to the side I am facing. 


“What do you want me to do, Claire? Beg on my knees for forgiveness?” He shouts. 


“I just want you to respect me and my job.” I said, flatly. 


“Fine. I said I will. Can we stop this now? I’m going to be late for work and we can talk properly tonight, I’ll buy us dinner?” He bends down to my level. 


I sigh and roll my eyes. “Alright. But it has to be here. I don’t want to go out, my head is going to explode.” I press my hands to my throbbing temples and give them a gentle rub. 


“Okay. I have to go. I love you.” He brushes his small lips against my cheek. 


“Love you, too.” I mumble just so he can hear me on his way out of the door. 



“It’s so good to see you!” I wrap my arms around my best friend and ally - Joe Abernathy. 


We worked together for the full ten years of my position at the hospital, he’s the children’s surgeon. He still works there now. He took me under his wing from the first time he met me and we have been best friends ever since. He was every girl's dream friend. 


“How the shitting hell are you?” Joe rubs my back enthusiastically. 


“Mmmh, I’m okay,” I shrug and pull Joe into the kitchen. 


“I know that face, Lady Jane. You know I can read you better than you can read yourself.” He raised his brow and collected two mugs from the cupboard and set them in front of the kettle. 


“Just Frank.” I shake my head in annoyance. 


“Elaborate.” Joe gestures with his hand and then continues to make our coffee. 


“Just being the usual spiteful prick.” I chuckled. 


“Well you’re not wrong there lady, I told you to leave his ass years ago.” He frowned. 


“Joe….” I whined. 


“I know. I won’t go there, you and I both know what I think of that...that….person.” He laughs at himself. I know exactly what he wanted to call Frank. 


A fucking twat. 


“Come on, grab your coffee. Let’s get on the sofa and have a good old bitch.” Joe swings his arm around my shoulder and leads me to my living room. 

Sitting down beside Joe, I let out a heavy sigh and ran my hands over my face. 


“What is it, LJ?” He frowned at me and narrowed his eyes while he scanned over my troubled face. 


Oh, you know, my husband is a selfish, careless bastard. I couldn’t very well say that now, could I? Not with Joe already loathing Frank and putting up with him for my own sake. Joe has told me to leave Frank for years. “He’s not good enough for you, Claire.” He would say. But I didn’t need his opinion or his remarks. Frank’s my husband and I love him. 


“It’s just the usual Frank being...well, Frank.” I chuckle and roll my eyes at myself. 


“What's his reason for being a class A dick, this time?” Joe placed his hand over mine and threaded his fingers between my own, giving me a light reassuring squeeze. 


“Well you know I have this job, right?” I looked at Joe and he nodded and gestured with his hand for me to continue. 


“It’s going great for me. I love it, the family I’m with are amazing. They have a lot going on, you know? They’ve been through a really tough time. I think they need someone like me around them, and in truth I think I need to be around them.” I sigh, reaching over to the coffee table to retrieve my warm coffee. 


“So what’s Frank’s problem?” Joe shrugged. 


“The attention is off him, of course! He hates the idea of me giving my time to anyone but him. It’s like I can’t have anyone, I can’t be friends with my employer but he can? He has dinners with Mr and Mrs Graham most of the time.” I swallow the coffee and purse my lips. 


“So why can’t I stay back and have dinner with Jamie and Fergus? Or have a cup of tea at the end of my shift. Why can’t I be their friend as well as their nanny?” I look at Joe nervously for his response. 


I know what he’ll say. He’ll tell me to fuck him off and leave his ass. I’ve heard it a million times before. 


“This is just what he does, Claire and if you let him do it to you, it’ll never change. You need to be firm and put your foot down. He will lose you if he’s not careful. You will get to a point where you won’t need me to tell you to get rid. You’ll want to do it.” Joe said softly.


He looked at me through a sympathetic eye.  I really didn’t need his sympathy card right now but I knew he was just trying to be a good friend, and he was. He has always been there for me, no matter what. I appreciated him. 


But I knew this time he was right, maybe I should stand up for myself. But also maybe I needed to distance myself a little from the Fraser's. I could still maintain a happy working relationship with them, all the while keeping my husband happy. 


I just needed to balance Frank and Jamie. 

Chapter Text

Frank came home from work at precisely 5.05pm. With his tail between his legs begging me to forgive him. I promised we would have dinner together this evening and have a ‘talk’ about our troubles. 


His fucking troubles. 


“Hello darling, how was your day?” He said, rushing over to me pressing a hard kiss to my cheek. 


“It was fine.” I mumbled, really not wanting to engage in any kind of conversation with him, in all honesty. 


“That's all? How’s your head? Did you rest?” He asked, his voice a little more stern. He removed his black patent leather work shoes. 


Shit flickers, I call them


“Uhm, yes.” I said, clearing my throat. “My head is better. I saw Joe today.” I said without a drip of regret, walking past him and making my way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 


“Lasagne, Frank?” I asked from the kitchen doorway. 


He didn’t respond as he made his way to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms across his chest and heaving a sigh. 


“You saw Joe?” He asked, flatly. 


“Yes?” I furrowed my brow and pulled the ingredients out of the fridge to start making the Lasagne.


“Why?” He titled his head and watched me begin to dice an onion. 


“Frank….” I sigh, setting the knife on the chopping board and propping myself against the counter. I turned to him and gave him a ‘why what?’ Kind of look. 


“What do you mean?” 


“Oh nothing, I just didn’t know he was coming to see you today, that’s all.” He shrugged and shook his head before raising his hand to his face and removing his black, thick framed glasses that I despised. He folded them and placed them into his shirt pocket. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first button of his shirt hidden under his collar. 


“Okay. Well he called and said he had an hour free for lunch and asked to come for a coffee. We talked about work and Gale has been offered a new promotion at her job.” I smiled as I recall the conversation we had about Joe’s lovely wife, Gale; a dear friend of mine. Once we had stopped talking about my dick of a husband, we talked about his loving wife and how he spoke of her with nothing but adoration. 


“Ah...that’s great.” Frank half smiled and opened the cupboard collecting two wine glasses and poured the bottle of white from the fridge. 


Not the expensive stuff. Christ, as if his own wife wouldn’t be worth expensive wine?


“I’ll set these at the table.” Frank shook the glasses at me as if to state the obvious. 


I nodded. 


My phone buzzed on the counter next to me. 


Jamie Fraser:

Hello, Sassenach. How are you feeling? X

Claire Randall: 


Hi Jamie. I’m fine, thank you. Sorry again about today.

Jamie Fraser: 

Did your headache go? I told you not to worry. Aye? X

Claire Randall: 

Aye. You did. ;)


Thanks for checking in, see you tomorrow, 8 am. X

Jamie Fraser: 


‘Tis no bother. Look after yourself, Fergus and I need you. Sleep well, love. x



Did he just call me love? I smiled to myself and shook my head, he’s such a smooth talker. Bless him. He really ought to get himself out there more, he could easily find a beautiful girl if he looked hard enough. 

Frank and I settled down on the sofa after our dinner, most of which was awkward conversation that neither of us really cared for. Adding to a stale atmosphere at the table while we moved the food back and forth on our plates with our forks, every now and then exchanged awkward and tight lipped smiles. 


“Let’s go to bed, Claire.” He snaked his arm around my shoulder and gave me a light squeeze. 


“We haven’t even talked it through.”  I sighed and laid into his shoulder without thinking. 


“We don’t need to talk. I’m sorry for my behavior.” He traced his finger up and down my shoulder and slowly to my neck, his fingers grazed down to my clavicle. I looked up at him and stared into his lust filled eyes. 


“Sex doesn’t fix everything, Frank.” I said despite my eyes closing involuntarily as he traced his finger across my skin. 


“I know…but it helps.” He pressed his lips to my cheek and lowered me down so my back was flat against the sofa. 


“Let’s just forget everything….” he kissed me. 

It wasn’t all that great. I now understood the term ‘wham bam thank you, ma’am


Frank climbed into our bed after his attempt at apology sex as I freshened myself up in the bathroom mirror and slipped into fresh pyjamas. 


I walked over to my night stand and flicked on the lamp and took my book out of the drawer and climbed into bed while Frank was engrossed in some work documents.


I rolled my eyes and settled myself comfortably and began to read the first few lines from the page before Frank interrupted. 


“Claire?” He said, and I looked over my book at him in question. 


“You know it’s our wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks?” He said leaning over the side of the bed to shove his documents back into his brown leather briefcase. 


“Yes?” I quizzed and put my bookmark into the book before setting it down on the bedside table and turning to face him. 


“Well I wanted to do something for you, for us. Will you get some time off?” He smiled at me sweetly and lifted his hand to push a stray curl from my face, he lightly tucked it behind my ear, as I tried my hardest not to pull away from his touch. 


“Uh— yeah, of course. Just text me the dates so I can tell Jamie, tomorrow. I need to give him plenty of notice.” I said and Frank nodded in response. 


I reached over and flicked my bedside lamp off, Frank did the same and we turned facing away from each other and fell into a mindless sleep. 

*buzz buzz buzz*


Am I dreaming? Is there a fucking bee in here? 


I peeled my tired eyes open and saw pitch black, apart from my phone on my nightstand shaking as it buzzed and lighting up. I quickly sat up and grabbed it.


Jamie Fraser calling...


Oh shit. I slipped out of bed and walked into the hallway to avoid waking Frank.  As I slid the green button to answer the phone.


“Jamie? What’s wrong?” I said through a groggy sleepy voice. 


“Christ! Claire, I’m so sorry. It’s Fergus.” He said, sounding completely out of breath. 


“What’s happened, is he alright?” I frowned and straightened my back. 


“I dinna ken, Claire. He’s a sleepwalker and he must’ve got up and gone down stairs, he’s fallen. His nose and his head are bleeding and his arm is cut, too. He’s crying and he’s asking for ye and I dinna ken what tae do right now.” I could hear him tugging for breath. 


“Jamie, it’s alright. Just breathe.” I tried to soothe him. 


It was then I could hear Fergus wailing in the background shouting ‘Bear’ and my heart sank. 


“Jamie, put him on.”  I spoke softly in an attempt to keep him and myself calm. “I can’t Sassenach. He’s shaking his head and crying, he just wants ye. And I dinna ken how to patch his injuries.” I heard the silent plea in Jamie’s voice and once again my heart ached for him. 


“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone, racing down the stairs, slipping on a jacket and shoes, swiping my keys from the bowl before heading to the door. Frank came out of the bedroom in a sleepy state just as I reached for the door handle. 


“Claire what’s going on?” He mumbled rubbing his tired eyes. 


“It’s Fergus, he’s had an accident. I have to go.” I said opening the door and stepping out. 


“Claire! It’s the middle of the night! Get back here!” Frank shouted, clambering down the stairs.


“I can’t Frank.” 


“He’s not your damn responsibility.” He growled, I turned on my heel and raced to him, pointing my car key at his face. 


“See? This is what I mean. You’ll never understand, Frank. I’ve got to go, there’s a hurt little boy who needs me.” I spat and stormed from the house, slamming the door shut behind me. 



Chapter Text




My heart was beating out of my chest when I pulled up outside of the Fraser’s. I parked my car behind Jamie’s up the drive and climbed out, locking it behind me. I looked down at myself and realised I was in my bright pink bedtime shorts, a white cami top and my pink silk jacket. And I had no underwear on, at all. 




I hastily knocked on the door and immediately heard footsteps approaching. 


Jamie swung the door open. His eyes were heavy and his cheeks were stained with tears. He was shirtless and wore his grey jogging bottoms that hung low on his hips, the top of his Calvin Klien underwear waistband popping out. 


I gulped. 


“Sassenach! Thank Christ yer here.” Jamie sighed and took my hand and all but dragged me into the house shutting the door and locking it behind him. 


“Where’s Fergus?” I asked my eyes scanning behind Jamie to find the mop of brown curls. 


“He’s sitting on the bathroom floor upstairs, he willna come out.” Jamie shook his head and ran his hand through his copper hair, his arm flexing and his muscle popping as he moved his arms. I forced myself to look away and turned to go up the stairs. I kicked my canvas shoes off and climbed the stairs with Jamie behind me. I mentally kicked myself for coming out in such disarray. 


I had no time to feel embarrassed or conscious of how I looked, my only thought right now was to get Fergus settled. 


“Fergus?” I said softly knocking on the bathroom door. 

“It’s me, Claire.” I whispered and lightly placed my hand on the handle and opened the door. 


He was curled up with his knees brought to his chest sobbing and rocking forward a little. 


“Oh, my darling.” My chin began to wobble and my bottom lip pursed out at the sore sight of him. I gently knelt next to him and he threw himself into my lap.

He nuzzled his head between my jaw and my neck and sobbed. He gripped onto my jacket with his fist and held on to me tightly. 


I lightly rubbed his back and made calm and soothing noises, every now and then telling him it’ll be alright. 


“Fergy, I need to look at your cuts, okay?” I whispered into his hair. He nodded and slowly lifted his body up and sat himself back against the bath. 


“Jamie, could you get me the first aid kit and some warm water, please.” I asked and Jamie nodded and scooted out of the room. 



Jamie’s pov. 

I ran downstairs as fast as I could and went rifling through the kitchen cupboards to find Claire the first aid kit. I finally found it and then poured a bowl of hot water and grabbed some soft cotton rags and dashed up the stairs. 


“Here ye are.” I passed Claire the medical supplies and the water. 


“Thank you.” She said, and started first to dab the blood from Fergus’ head. 


“It’s not deep, it just looks bad because of the blood.” She sighed as she dabbed the rag against his forehead.


She then moved to his nose where he had a small gash on the bridge. Fergus winced as Claire gently dabbed the cut. “Sorry.” She whispered. 


“What happened, Soldier?” Claire said, taking his hand in her own and using her other hand to clean the cut on his wrist. He winced again and Claire shot him another apologetic look. 


“I-....I-I think I was dreaming. I dreamt JJ tried to send me back to the foster home and I panicked and tried to run out of the door so he wouldn’t take me….I must have been sleep walking and woke up when I fell.” He shrugged and wiped his cheek on his sleeve with his free hand. 


My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when Fergus said that. It hit deep to know Fergus thought that would ever be a possibility. Not a chance in hell would I ever send back my son, over my dead body. 


I knelt in front of Fergus, excruciatingly close to Claire. My arm brushed hers and I felt the warmth coming from under that lovely, pink silk. 


I brought my palm to Fergus’  face and gingerly cupped his crimson cheek.


“My boy, that willna happen. No’ ever! I promise ye lad. Yer my son and I love ye.” I smiled proudly at my son and Fergus returned the smile back, relief washing over his face. 


I noticed Claire watching the heartfelt moment between father and son and saw how touched she was by it. Tears welled in her own eyes and she soon noticed I was staring, she swallowed and sat up. 


“You’re all set, sweetheart.”  Claire sighed and I helped Fergus up to his feet. 


“Bear, I’m so tired, can I go to bed?” Fergus yawned and stretched his little body. 


“Yes you should be fine, go and get yourself in and I’ll clean up and say good night.” Claire smiled and Fergus ran at her and wrapped his arms around Claire, he rested his head on her chest and held her tight. 


“I’m so grateful you’re here, Bear.” Fergus nuzzled into her. 


I again felt like my heart was going to burst and Claire looked up at me and saw the tears in my eyes. 


“I’m grateful too, Soldier.” She kissed the top of his head and sent him on his way to bed. 


Claire noticed she had blood all over her shirt and she groaned in annoyance. “I’ve got blood all over me, and all over my hands.” She lightly chuckled and I walked over to her, taking her arm and shaking my head. 


“I'm so sorry, I will buy ye a new one. Aye?” I fretted. 


“Jamie, it's alright! As long as Fergus is ok.” She smiled softly. 


“I will need you to do something for me though?” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up at me through dark lashes. 


“Of course, a nighean . Anything?” I said, maybe all too eagerly. 


“Could you me with my jacket? It’s just I’ve got blood on my hands and I don’t want to add any extra stains.” She shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. 


I nodded and gulped. I hesitated before bringing my hands to her lower abdomen and I gingerly untied the knot in front; the only thing keeping the jacket from hanging loose around her body. I let the ties loose and I circled behind her to remove it from her shoulders. 


As I pulled it from her body, I scanned my eyes across her form. Her beautifully brown curls grazed the tops of her shoulder. The curls at the front of her face sat in the middle of her cleavage.


I couldn’t help himself but to look at her incredibly round arse that was begging me to squeeze it. 


I cleared my throat and went back around to face Claire, instantly my eyes found her breasts. How could they not. They were practically in my face, not that I minded that at all. 


She wasn’t wearing a bra. 


I forced myself to look away before she noticed. 


“I’ll leave up.” I stammered and swiftly left the room to adjust my growing erection that had been at a stand since I saw her bare shoulders. 

Claire pov:


“Here ye are,” Jamie cleared his throat and passed me one of his robes. I thanked him and quickly put it on and fastened it tight around my middle. 


“Do you want a cup of tea?” Jamie offered, walking into the kitchen.  


“Yeah might as well…” I shrugged, following him and sat down at the dining room table. Jamie turned to the kitchen work top to start making our cups of tea. 


“Thank ye Claire, for helping him and me.” Jamie smiled sheepishly and poured milk into our cups. 


“It’s alright. As long as he’s okay. I don’t even know what time it is, I just ran out of the house as quickly as I could.” I chuckled and ran my hair through my loose curls shaking them through slightly. 


“It’s about 4am now, Sassenach. I’m sae sorry to drag ye from yer bed.” Jamie handed me the warm mug. He pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down opposite me. 


I shook my head profusely and waved him off. “Don’t even apologise.” I said, sipping my tea. 


“Did I disturb yer husband too?” Jamie asked. 


“No you didn’t. I did.” I laughed nervously, hoping and praying we could change the subject as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to talk about Frank and his dick-head behaviour right now. It was far too early and I haven’t had enough sleep to even comprehend trying to explain the situation between me and my pretentious husband. 


“Is he mad at ye?” Jamie swallowed the hot liquid and darted his eyes away from me, a nervous expression appearing on his face. 


Does it worry him when my husband gets mad at me?




“Don’t worry about me and Frank. So, how long has Fergus sleepwalked?” I swiftly moved from the conversation of Frank and myself. 


“Oh, Aye. As long as he’s been wi’ me. He never normally gets further than my bedroom or the bathroom. This is the first time he’s attempted to go down the stairs.” Jamie sighed and rubbed his temples in a frustrative manner. 


“What do you normally do?” I smiled softly. 


“I never wake him up because I heard it can give the Walker a fright and I dinna wanna startle the lad. I just guide him back to bed when he wakes me up in my room.” Jamie was rubbing his large hand up his bare right upper arm. The muscles on his opposite arm retracted as he moved his hand up and down and I found myself staring. Who said I couldn’t appreciate a nice sight? 


I just hoped he would find someone to love and take care of him and Fergus. He deserved that. 


“Claire?” He said, softly. 


“Oh yeah, sorry. Right, so you just get him back to bed.” I cleared my throat and gulped down a mouthful of tea. 


“Aye,” Jamie nodded. 


“He never remembers getting up or walking around.” He added. 


“You should try him with some herbal tea before bed, that could help him feel more settled when he’s going to sleep. It could help him relax more.” I suggest. 


“I dinna ken what herbal tea is, Sassenach,” Jamie laughed at himself. 


“I have a herb garden at home. I will fix him some and bring them for you.” I smiled.


“Thank ye Claire, truly.” Jamie reached over the table and took my small hand in his large one, squeezing me tightly. I squeezed back and nodded. 


“Listen, after tonight I willna be sending him tae school, so will ye be okay spending the day here wi’ him? I only have to go to the office at 9 and I shouldna be there for long.” He said. 


“Yes, of course. It’s fine Jamie. I’ll go home and shower and then I’ll come back.” I stood up and collected our empty mugs and placed them into the sink. 


“Ye can shower here.” Jamie said. 


“Oh no, I need fresh clothes. Thank you, though.” I smiled and began to untie Jamie’s robe from around my waist. 


He stood up abruptly and stopped my hand from working at the tie. “Leave it, it’s fine.” He smiled softly. 


“Thank you.” I chuckled.


“Stop thanking me, Sassenach. It’s I who owe you a thousand ‘thank yous.” His mouth turned into a half smile and he removed his hand from over mine. 

“Right well, I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

Chapter Text

I made my way home at 6am to shower and change my clothes. When I walked into our house, Frank was standing in the kitchen when I approached the doorway, his back turned to me. I could see the tension in the rise and fall of his shoulders and I knew this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

I cleared my throat and approached him. “Good morning,” I said softly.
Frank grunted in response. “Coffee?” he asked, sternly. “That’d be great, thank you.” I swallowed the lump of tension forming in my throat.

Frank clanged about grabbing a second mug from the cupboard and smashed it down, emphasising his annoyance.

“Frank.” I sighed. He turned to look at me and his jaw fell to the floor. His face turned a perfect shade of scarlet. I was just waiting for steam to come out of his nose and ears next.

Here we fucking go.

“What-” He started to say and then he creased his forehead into a frown. “What the fuck are you wearing?” he spat, scanning my form and shaking his head in disgust.

“What do you mean?” My voice came out in an accusing tone, before I looked down at myself and realised exactly what he meant.

“Oh,” I blushed involuntarily. “It's Jamie’s.”

“And why would you be wearing his dressing gown?” Frank raised a brow at me. I pushed past him lightly and continued to make the coffee he had seemingly forgotten about.

“Well, because Fergus got blood all over my nightgown and I didn’t have anything else to put on.” I said, rolling my shoulders to relieve some tension. My sleep deprived brain couldn’t handle much more of his bullshit.

“Right. So he kindly offered you his robe, hm?” Frank bit.

I sighed heavily and turned to face him. I untied the gown and threw it off my shoulders. Frank’s eyes widened as he took in my small shorts and thin vest top. “Would you rather me stay like this in front of him, then?” I cocked my head to the side with a quizzical look on my face.

“I bet he would’ve loved that…” Frank muttered under his breath.
I had had enough of his shit so I put down my half-full coffee mug and stormed past him. He gripped onto my upper arm to stop me, causing me to yank my arm out of his grip before he could get a proper hold of me.

“Not everyone wants to fuck me, you know? I can have male friends that don’t want a ticket into my pants!” I yelled, walking out of the kitchen and raced up the stairs.

I stormed into our bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

Christ, I wanted to scream and shout, possibly go back out there and punch him.

What an insufferable man. What an insufferable husband.

I sat myself down onto the bed and tossed my head back in frustration. I covered my face with my hands and sighed so heavily I almost lost my breath.

A few hours later I finally decided to continue on with my day. I dragged my limp and tired body to the bathroom and turned on the nozzle to the hot setting before stepping into the shower and letting the warm water seep into my skin.

Stepping out of the shower I dried off and wrapped the fuzzy towel around my body and walked into the bedroom. Humming some tune to myself, I walked to my chest of drawers and retrieved my pink matching bra and knicker set. Laying them out carefully, I turned to my wardrobe and chose a light flowy summer dress.

I had just clasped my bra behind me when I heard the light knock on the door. “Claire?” Frank’s whine came from behind the solid wood.

“Come in.” I said, pulling my knickers up my thighs.

Frank entered the room and made his way over to me. Before I could ask him what the hell he was doing he had me pressed against his chest. His hands roamed freely on my bare back, they found their way to my shoulders where he gently squeezed me.

Pulling back, I frowned at Frank. “What wa-” he cut me off by pressing his small lips against mine, he kissed me tenderly and I involuntarily kissed him back.

“I’m sorry, my dear.” God. he spoke to me like we were an old couple.

Would you believe it if I said I'm a 30-year-old woman and he is a nearly 33-year-old man.

“Okay.” I deadpanned, not having the energy or time to start another war.

“Do you forgive me?” He smiled like the cat that caught the cream.

“Sure.” I nodded and pulled myself out of his embrace, turning back to the bed to finish getting dressed.

He watched me as I pulled the V-line swing dress over my head. It was duck egg blue with small pink flowers. Frank eyeballed me.

“You look nice.” He gestured with his hand towards my dress.

“Thanks.” I said unaffected by his words.

“Okay well about our anniversary, I have booked us somewhere for this upcoming Friday and I have requested the day off work. So will you sort it out with Jimmy today?” Frank said, fixing his shoelaces.

Shit flickers, again. I snorted.

“His name is Jamie.”

“Right. Jamie.” Frank nodded.

“I have to go, darling.” he said and pecked my cheek before leaving the room.

I sighed and shook my head in disbelief.

I paired a plain pair of brown sandals with my dress and brushed my wet-matted curls with my comb; standing in the mirror staring at my own reflection, I looked dreadful.

Pasty white skin, dark blue circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep. Dry, cracked lips.

I decided that a light wash of makeup would have to do. Only some mascara to brighten my eyes, a small dab of concealer under each eye to hide the darkness and applied some hydrating lip oil to my lips and decided I looked presentable enough.



I arrived back at the Fraser’s at 8am, greeted by a smiley Jamie who appeared fresh out of the shower. “Good morning again, Sassenach!” he chirped. God why was he so happy in the morning? Especially after no sleep.

“Morning,” I said, less enthusiastically than him.

“Cuppa?” he asked, flashing a quick smile.

“You know the score.” I joked.

I followed Jamie into the kitchen and he took to his usual spot in front of the kettle where he filled it and set it to boil.

“Toast?” He asked a few minutes later. “Yeah, if you don't mind.” I responded.

“Not at all.” He said and popped the toast into the toaster and passed me my mug of hot brew.

“How’s fergus?” I asked, blowing on my drink and taking a small sip from the burning liquid.

“He is still flat out. Dinna wake him, just let the lad rest. I’ve called the school and told them so ye dinna need t’fash about that.” Jamie said as he buttered the hot toast. The smell of the warm bread filled my nostrils and my stomach growled in response. I realised I hadn’t eaten anything since my dinner with Frank last night.

“Of course. What should I do with him today?” I quirked a brow and took the plate Jamie handed me.

He pulled up the seat opposite me, sitting down he took a large bite from his toast and lightly shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh I dinna ken, whatever ye like.” Jamie smiled at me and I bit into my own toast. Moaning slightly at the taste of the hot bread and the melted salted butter tickling my taste buds.

“Hungry?” He laughed.

“Hmm.” I nodded with a mouthful of toast.

I swallowed my bite and opened my mouth to speak. “That reminds me..” I said, before taking another bite. “Is it okay if I have this coming Friday off?”

Jamie looked at me puzzled. “Aye. It shouldna be a problem. Going somewhere nice?” He raised a brow and lifted his mug to his mouth taking a small sip of tea.

“Oh..well, It's just my anniversary.” I half smiled. “Frank’s booked some romantic get-a-way.” I laughed.

Jamie’s jaw tensed and he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did so.
“I see.” he mumbled. “Aye, dinna fash.” he said looking down at the last piece of toast on his plate and his face paled as if he was about to vomit.

“Jamie, are you alright?” I leant over and placed my hand over his wrist. His head snapped in my direction and he looked down to my hand on his arm. He gently pulled away and my hand flopped onto the table.

“Aye. Tired, is all.” he stood up abruptly, tossing the toast into the bin and placed his plate and mug into the sink.

“I best get off.” he mumbled under his breath and quickly grabbed his keys and jacket. “If you have any problems, call me.” he turned and fled without looking back, leaving me dumbfounded and confused.

Chapter Text




Jamie’s pov; 




I had left Claire sitting at the dining room table in astonishment, that much I knew. I had a feeling she couldn’t quite make out what my sudden outburst was or why I needed to flee so quickly. 


I can’t quite explain it in truth. I don’t understand what made me so furious about my nanny and her personal affairs. 


I have no right to pass judgement on what Claire does outside of her working hours; that’s not my business. 


I want it to be, but it’s not. 


My blood ran cold when Claire had mentioned her romantic getaway with her beloved. I’m jealous and I know it. I don’t care to admit it but my actions are of a jealous man and if I’m not careful I’ll reveal myself to Claire and that’s the last thing I want to do. 


I won’t risk my working relationship with her, or the friendship that we were building. She was perfect for Fergus and myself, of course. But it was Fergus that was my priority. As long as the lad was cared for properly with love that’s all that mattered and Claire did exactly that. I won’t risk ruining it with my recklessness. So I’ll have to suck it up and get over it. 


I needed a distraction. Something to take my mind away from how much I wanted Claire. 


It must just be a strong sexual attraction, maybe if I just had a good fuck to get my fill, all these feelings would go away. Yeah that must be it, sex. 


I needed sex. 


It had been a long time since I last took anyone to bed so maybe it was just time to change that. All my ‘feelings’ for Claire would evaporate. 

I left my house and climbed into the car, I needed to get away and just go to work.


My thoughts were clouded the entire drive, all I could see was brown luscious locks and breathtaking orbs. Her smile brightened every room she entered, and I found myself smiling at her astonishing beauty. 


I have never seen anyone like her, really. I’ve never felt this level of desire for someone before. 


Maybe it’s because she’s married and I can’t have her. We always want what we can’t have. I keep trying to convince myself that’s what it is. Because she was someone else’s. And by god that did anger me. 


The mere thought of another man’s skin on hers made my stomach knot and jaw clench. 


I want her. But I could never have her. 




Pulling up at the office I sighed heavily after the sleepless night and the confusion of my inner feelings. I was well and truly exhausted. 


All I wanted to do was go home and sleep - that wasn’t possible. I had too much on with Murtagh today. Myself and Murtagh had to make all the arrangements with the property developer that was creating our dream whisky bar. 


Sluggishly greeting Murtagh on my arrival, I sat down at my office desk and logged into my desktop. 


“And what’s wi’ ye, lad?” Murtagh raised a brow and tilted his head in my direction. 


“Hmm?” My eyes were fixated on my computer screen, I didn’t even bother to look up to Murtagh’s questioning expression. 


“Earth to Jamie!” Murtagh waved his hand in front of my face in an attempt to grab my attention. 


“Oh, sorry. Are ye alright?” I cleared my throat, and gently sat back in my large black leather computer chair. 


“Am I alright?” Murtagh scoffed. “It’s ye that’s a thousand miles from where ye sat.” The old father figure I called godfather said. 


“I dinna ken what yer on aboot,” I made a low growl deep within my throat and pressed my forefinger and thumb between the bridge of my nose. 


“Aye, ye do. Yer heid is elsewhere, my boy.” Murtagh tutted and leant himself against the desk, one foot firmly on the ground, one leg dangled. 


“Dinna fash. Bad night wi’ the bairn.” I knew I was being short and maybe somewhat secretive but I could really do without my godfather giving me a lecture on how Claire shouldn’t make my dick hard. 

but she does. 


“What aboot the wee laddie?” Murtagh’s brows furrowed in confusion and a glint of concern in his eye. 


“He’s alreet. He had a wee accident, ‘‘twas a wee fall. He was sleepwalking and fell down the stairs.” I sighed and continued to type on my keyboard, the only sound in the room was the keys clicking as I pressed on them. 


“Aye. Is he hurt?” Murtagh pressed. 

“Nae, well aye, but he’s alright. Claire came to fix him up.” My breath hitched at the back of my throat at the mention of her name that graciously rolled off of my tongue. 


Murtagh began to chuckle slightly, his shoulders bobbing up and down as he laughed. He placed his hand on his chest and shook his head. “So that’s what’s wrong wi’ ye.” 


My brows furrowed and I finally looked up at Murtagh. “What?”


“Ye ken verra well, what. Yer all rivalled up cos’ of the wee Sassenach wi’ bonny eyes and a great arse.” Murtagh snickered. 


“Watch yer tongue!” I bit, throwing Murtagh a furious glance. “Ye dinna speak o’ her in such ways.” I shook my head. 


“Weel, it’s only an observation lad. I can appreciate a nice lookin’ lassie when I see one.” Murtagh held up his hands in defence. 


“Aye, ye can. Just make it anyone other than Claire. Besides, Auntie Jo willna be impressed to hear ye say such things.” I sighed and returned my eyes back to the desk. 


“Aye, ‘twas just messin’ wi’ ye, boy.” Murtagh placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed. 


“Damn, my boy, ye got it bad.” Murtagh sighed. “Ye ken she’s marrit, and happily so.” The frustration became apparent in his voice as he expressed his disapproval of his god son. 


“I ken you dinna approve, Murtagh.” I could feel the tension building in my temples as my head began to thump. I couldn’t tell if it was lack of sleep or the conversation I was clearly about to have with Murtagh. 


“It’s no’ about no’ approving. She’s a fantastic lass and would be good for ye.” Murtagh rubbed his grey beard with his left hand whilst his right tapped nervously on the table. 


My head snapped in his direction and a hint of hope washed across my face and I softly smiled at my godfather. 


“But.” Murtagh said. I felt deflated then. 


“Ye canna have her - she’s no yers, Jamie. I dinna wanna see ye heart broken.”  I nodded in acknowledgment of what my Godfather was saying. 


“Aye.” I reluctantly agreed with him.

“Have- have ye.. bedded her?” Murtagh swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he awaited my answer, not entirely sure if he wanted to know it. 


“What! No!” I gasped. “How could ye think such a thing?” 


“I thought ye- never mind.” Murtagh waved me off.


“What ye thought I just wanted a quick fuck? Nae. I mean, aye I do want her, mind ye, but I think it’s more than that now, Murtagh.” I admitted aloud for the first time my true feelings for Claire Randall. 


I felt deeply for her, I thought maybe I could even love her. 


“I just want ye to be careful.” Murtagh shrugged his shoulders and climbed off the desk, turning his back from me as he returned to his own desk. 


“Aye, I ken.” I nodded. 

“I love ye like a son, ye ken that don’t ye?” Murtagh said softly from the corner of the room. 


“Of course. And I, you.” I turned to face Murtagh and offered him a warm and humble smile. 



I returned home in the early evening, exhausted and my bed was certainly calling me. 


Pushing the key into the lock I entered the house and slipped my jacket from my shoulders, I placed the jacket on the coat stand and turned to the shoe rack where I untied his boots and settled them neatly next to each other on the rack. 


The house was quiet apart from the small muffling sound of the television coming from the living room. I wondered where Claire and Fergus were. 


Maybe she took him out? 


I checked the kitchen, clean and empty. 


I wandered into the living room to check and my heart skipped a beat when I stood in the doorway. 


Claire lay sprawled on her back and Fergus was tucked in at her side, his head resting on her chest. Her right arm came around his shoulders and her hand rested into Fergus chocolate locks. 


Both of them were fast asleep. Fergus had been drooling and caused a small wet spot on Claire’s dress, which only emphasised the pink of her bra and the curve of her breast. 


I gulped and tore my eyes away back to study her face. Her rosy lips were parted slightly as she breathed in and out. She wiggled her nose slightly in her sleep. 


I thought it was cute. 


Dark long lashes sat under her eyes and they lightly fluttered as she stirred in her sleep. Her complexion was pale but a slight rosy tint to the apples of her cheeks, I wanted to kiss her there, I thought.


I couldn’t help myself, I pulled my phone out and took a quick snap of the two of them curled up in each other’s embrace. 


My heart couldn’t be more full right now.


Moving further into the living room, I found myself kneeling in front of her. 


I longed to touch her, to feel the heat of her skin upon mine and revel in it. I wondered if I would ever truly get the chance to touch her. Really touch her. 


God I would give anything

Without thinking, I raised my hand and gingerly pushed a loose curl out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. My fingers grazed the shell of her ear and I found my knuckles brushing against the rosy cheeks I ached to kiss. 


Claire's eyelids fluttered open and I swiftly moved my hand from her face. 


“Hello, sleepy head.” I teased, smiling down at her. 


She sighed and half smiled back before reality hit her. 


“Shit!” She exclaimed, startling poor Fergus. 


“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ Claire panicked and Fergus groaned but refused to move from his spot, he only held onto Claire tighter. 


“Bear!! Stay still..” the little lad moaned in his sleepy manner. 


“Dinna fash, Claire. Yer alright.” I chuckled and before I realised what I was doing I swiped my thumb across her now crimson cheek. 


“Get yerself composed. I’ll make tea.” I said, bringing myself to a standing position and Claire stayed silent but lightly nodded her head. 


“Fergus, get up off Claire.” I warned before swiftly exiting the room. 


I almost danced in the kitchen, feeling nothing but fulfilment from that precious moment between my son and the woman I was coming to love.

Chapter Text




It was the morning of mine and Frank’s anniversary and mini getaway. I was surprisingly excited. Maybe that’s all we needed, just to get away. From bosses and life, just find one another again.


Maybe we just needed to be us again and remember the reason we married each other. Find some passion, even. 


I unzipped the suitcase for the fourth time to check Frank and I had all we needed. 


“Fucking hell, Claire. That’s the fourth time now!” Frank snapped at me, exasperated. “We are going to be late.” He tutted at me and grabbed a suit jacket from the wardrobe to put over his crisp white shirt. 


“Leave me be. You know I like to double check.” I retorted. “Besides, we still have plenty of time. We don’t check in until 7.” I said over my shoulder. 


“I am well aware of that, darling. But I wanted to take you to dinner before we checked in.” Frank came up behind me and snaked his arms around my middle before settling his head on my shoulder and nuzzling into the side of my neck. 


“And then that way, we’ll have the entire evening in that lovely hotel room…Hm?” He teased and placed a chaste kiss just below my jaw. 


I nodded and placed my hands over his arms. “That’ll be nice..” I fluttered my eyes closed for a second as we swayed in motion. 


“Right.” Frank broke me out of my moment of peace. “Better be off.” Frank smacked my arse before he exited the room and I decided at that moment to head into the top drawer of my bedside table and take out my sexiest matching underwear I owned, scarlet lace with a black bow between the breast bone and a laced thong that was merely a piece of fabric and nothing more. It certainly wouldn’t be covering much, but that’s the point. 


Shoving the underwear into my tiny pull along suitcase I was satisfied with my choice of undergarments. 


“I’m ready.” I chirped and Frank flashed me a smile before hovering his right hand on the small of my back and ushering me out of the door. 

Pulling up outside what I can only describe as the fanciest restaurant I had ever seen would be an understatement. It was magnificent looking, it’s structure was beautiful. 


Frank slipped his hand into mine as he assisted me into the building. 


At the front of the restaurant was a waiter standing waiting to greet us as we entered. 


“Hello and welcome to ‘The Ridge’. Have you booked a table this evening?” The blonde-haired, fairly young girl said. 


“Yes, we have. Randall.” Frank offered her a smile and she nodded and smiled back at him. “I’ll just check for you.” She turned to look at her books and I watched as she crossed out our name. 


“Yes, come with me.” She said, collecting two menus. 


She took us to a lovely table with four chairs and that had the most exquisite table favours in the middle and candles. 


The waiter placed our menus in front of us as we took our seats. 


“I’ll be back to take your drinks order in just a moment,” She smiled at me and off she trotted. 


“This is wonderful darling. It’s truly beautiful here.” I admired the set out of the restaurant; everything was glistening, marbled and silver. 


“I’m glad you like it darling.” Frank leant over and took my hand in his and gently squeezed it. 


“Frank.. thank you for doing this, I think we really need it.” 


“I agree.” He brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed the back of my hand. 


“So, what’s with the 4-“ I was cut off by a man and woman walking towards us. 


Mr. and Mrs. Graham. 


Are you FUCKING kidding me?


The anger was building inside of me quickly. They hadn’t even reached our table and I was ready to explode. 


Mr. Graham approached us and pulled out a chair for his wife. 


“I’m sorry we are late, Randall.” Mr. Graham patted Frank’s shoulder. 


“Mrs. Randall, how lovely to see you.” Mrs. Graham softly spoke. 


“Would you excuse me, Mrs. Graham. I need some air.” I cleared my throat and stood from the table abruptly and swiftly made my way to the exit. 


My heart was heaving in my chest and the tears were threatening to spill from my eyes but I would not let them fall until I was out of sight. 


The brisk air hit my lungs and I let out a small sob when I reached the wall outside. 


“Claire!” Frank called after me. 


The fucking piece of shit followed me.


“Leave me alone.” I spat. The tears were flowing freely now. 


“Let me explain. They’re just meeting us for dinner.” Frank scoffed, as if I was the one in the wrong for walking away. 


He really didn’t give a fuck about how I feel.


“It’s our fucking anniversary!” I shouted.


“You’re so fucking selfish do you know that Claire?” He walked towards me pointing his finger at me. 


“Me?” I said and let out a humorless laugh.


“What now?!” Frank spat in annoyance. 


“You!” I said letting out a genuine laugh, from hurt or this typicality from him was left to question.


“For god-sake, pull yourself together.” Frank rolled his eyes. “Come on, let’s order our dinner.” He wrapped his hand around my upper arm and tried to drag me in the direction of the restaurant doors. 


“Woah! Woah! Woah!” I pulled my arm out of his grip. “I don’t think so.” I snickered. 


“Claire, stop this. Let’s just go back in.” Frank sighed and squeezed his eyes closed for a second. 


“Oh I’m sorry, am I going to start making your precious boss think there is something wrong?” I snorted.


“Just stop! We can talk about this tonight.” He pressed. 


“No, no we can’t. Good night, Frank.” I said in a softer tone and walked away from him. 


“Claire! You can’t leave! Come back!” He shouted as I began walking away from him. 


“I said goodnight. I don’t want to be near you right now.” I shouted back. 


He didn’t even follow me.



I had called a cab to bring me to a bar nearest to the hotel, my only interest this evening was getting blind drunk. I didn’t want to feel anything, not pain, nor anger, hurt, upset, betrayal. None of it. I just wanted to drink a shit tonne of Whisky and forget who the fuck I am for one night. 


Sitting at the dimly lit bar on a stool, I ordered a dram. Then another. And another. And so forth. 


I must have been 5 whiskys in before I started to feel the harsh buzz from the alcohol. 


Pulling out my phone I decided to call Jamie to tell him I could have Fergus tomorrow after all. 


It rang twice before I heard him answer. 


“Hello.” His husky voice said. 


“Hello, this is Claire Randall.” I stuttered. 


“I ken, lass. Yer name came up.” Jamie softly chuckled. 


“Right, yeah. Anyway, I was calling you to say I can have Fergus tomorrow.” I cleared my throat awaiting his response. 


“But I thought ye’d gone away with yer... husband.” 


“I was. Now I am sitting in some bar alone.” I laughed at my own pathetic self. 


“Alone? What the devil?” Jamie’s voice filled with confusion. 


“Yep. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Right now I want to get blackout pissed - hey! Excuse me!” I shouted to the barmaid mid conversation with Jamie. “Another whisky, please.” I offered her a thumbs up and she politely nodded. 


“Claire… I dinna think it’s a good idea to be alone.” Jamie sounded serious. 


“Oh bore off! Join me then if you're that bothered, Mr Fraser.” The alcohol gave me a boost of confidence. 


I heard Jamie sigh and pause. 


“I canna… just come here lass, we’ll share a dram.” Jamie offered. 


Without thinking I accepted. “Alright.” “And stop calling me lass.” I added. 




“It’s endearing and you give me enough of those.” I pointed out. 


“Get ye self here in one piece, sassenach.” 

I threw back the last of the whisky and called for a cab.


“Careful!” Jamie said, holding my elbow up as I ungracefully stumbled over his front step. 


“I am perfectly fine.” I said in defence. I followed Jamie into the kitchen and plopped myself in my usual spot at the dining table. 


Jamie smirked at me and turned to the kettle and flicked it on. 


“Woah! You said a dram!” I protested, feeling like a child that had their candy taken away. 


“Aye. But I think ye’ve had enough, no?” He titled his head like a puppy. 


“No…” I sighed. 


“Right then, tea.” He mumbled and pulled the mugs from the cupboard. 


“Are ye gonna tell me what happened wi’ Frank?” He said with his back to me. 


“Are you going to give me a whisky?” I teased. 


“No.” He shook his head. 


“Well then. I’m not telling you annnnnny-thing, blue eyes!!” I was swaying in my seat. 


“Fine. One dram.” He turned to face me and I clapped my hands together in excitement. 

Jamie led us through to the living room where I threw myself onto the sofa, he placed two whiskys on the table and sat down beside me. 


“Pass me that, would you?” I said. I felt too comfortable to move. 


“Aye.” He said, handing me the amber liquid. 


I took a large gulp and swallowed harshly. 


“Good stuff.” I coughed to clear the burn from my throat. 


“Thank ye, it’s our own.” He smiled proudly. 


“It’s lovely, Jamie.” I said, taking a much smaller sip this time. 


“So, Frank?” Jamie eyeballed me. 


I sighed and dove right into the story. He listened to every word. 


“All the fucking time, it’s like I’m in a relationship with his bosses aswell.” I rubbed my temples in frustration. 


“Why doesna he wanna spend time alone wi’ ye?” Jamie asked, flatly. 


“I don’t know. I thought this weekend was for us… to just maybe find each other again. All he's been doing recently is pushing me away.” I downed the last of my whisky and leaned forward to set my glass on the coffee table. 


I tucked my feet underneath me and propped myself up on my elbow. 


“He doesna deserve ye, Claire.” Jamie said softly, a heavy look on his face like he was deeply saddened. 


“Too right. Do you know, I even packed my sexiest lingerie? Red and everything!” I snorted. 


Jamie’s head snapped in my direction and my cheeks turned pink. “Sorry, I don’t know why I told you that.” I said and swallowed thickly. 


“It’s fine, lass.” Jamie half smiled. 


“I just-“ I sighed. “I don’t even know.” I  continued to rub my temples and briefly fluttered my eyes shut.


“He doesna appreciate what he’s got.” Jamie shook his head and nervously played with the loose threads at the bottom of his shirt. 


“Jamie..” I leaned in closer and traced my finger on the back of his hand. 


“What do you mean?” I whispered. 


“I mean, he dinna deserve to have ye as his wife. He doesna treat ye how ye should be treated.” His voice pitched slightly with the growing frustration. 


“And how should I be treated?” I continued drawing lazy shapes on his hand. Jamie’s eyes fluttered closed. 


“Like… like …yer the only woman in the world. He should kiss the ground ye walk on, he should prove everyday that he loves ye, he should make love to ye endlessly. I would.” He said. 


My breath hitched the back of my throat at his words. I couldn’t fathom his meaning, really. My head was buzzing and my blood was pumping from the alcohol in my stream. 


“You would?” I said, softly. 


“Aye I would.” He nodded and ran his hand through his copper locks. 


“Show me you would.” I didn’t even recognise my own voice at this point. 


“What?” He said. His face, a mixture of confusion and curiosity. 


“Just kiss me.” 


The next thing I knew warm and wet lips were on top of mine. At first it was slow and unfamiliar. I think both of us were scared to give in to the feelings we were both experiencing right there and then. 


The feelings of being wanted, needed, and possessed. 


Soon enough one of us deepened the kiss, I couldn’t even say who. 

It was then a matter of wet tongues lapping and teeth crashing. Lip biting and sucking from both parties. 


A low moan escaped Jamie’s throat and I breathed it into my own mouth, causing me to softly moan myself. 


His hands were cupping my face, one slowly moved up my nape and into my hair. I had my hands tangled at the back of his neck.


I moved forward to get closer to him, I was almost in his lap when I abruptly stopped. 


I pulled back and looked up at Jamie, his blue eyes dark with lust, his chest heaving from the lack of air and his lips pink and swollen from my own mouth’s work. 


“Shit. I can’t do this.” I stood up, the adrenaline rushed through my veins and I swayed slightly. 


“Sassenach… I’m sae sorry.” Jamie stood in front of me. 


“Don’t. It’s my fault. Please, don’t.” I whispered and tears fell from my eyes. 


Jamie lifted his hand to my cheek and gently swiped his thumb under my eye to catch the falling tears. 


“Shhh.” He said. “It’s alright, Mo Sorcha .” He pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. 


He was mumbling into my hair a mix of Gaelic and English but I was too drunk to comprehend either. 


“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Jamie mumbled into my ear. I abruptly pulled away, raising a brow at him. 


“No! I dinna mean… that. I meant I’ll get ye set in the spare room.” He coughed. 


“Alright…” I softly nodded my head and followed him out of the living room and up the stairs where he showed me the spare room. The bed was already set up, Jamie pulled the bed quilts back and walked back over to me. 


“Good night.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and gently pulled back before walking away. 


“Jamie…” I said, turning sharply and gripping his hand. 




“Stay with me a while?” I whispered. Heat spread across my cheeks and I hoped he couldn’t see me blushing ferociously.


“If- if that’s what ye want.” He coughed. And wiggled his brows. 


“It is.” I reassured him. 


“Just turn away so I can change?” I asked softly. He nodded and turned his back to me. 


I slipped out of my dress and tights. 


I climbed into the cold crisp bed linen and pulled the duvet up to my neck so I was fully covered. 


“Okay..” I said. 


Jamie turned around and sat at the edge of the bed. He was being very careful not to cross a line or intrude my personal space. 


“You can come up here a bit.” I said giggling at how stiff his body was. 


“Aye.” He laid next to me, pressing his back to the headboard. 


“Can I lay on you?” I asked sheepishly, feeling the luring pull of sleep. 


“Come here.” He pushed himself down the bed and lifted his arm for me to lay on his chest. His hand rested on my shoulder. I snuggled into him, and breathed in his scent of Vanilla and Sandalwood. I nuzzled my nose in his clavicle. 


“Don’t be peeking at my bra in the night, blue eyes.”  I mumbled. 


“I’ll try not to.” He joked. 


“Goodnight.” I said practically already flat out asleep. 


“Goodnight, Mo Chridhe.” He whispered into my hair. 


“I’ll wait for ye. However long it takes.” Jamie’s voice barely whispered as he said the words, thinking I was already asleep. 


I heard them, loud and clear.


Chapter Text



The sun that was peeking through the gap of the cream coloured curtains roused me to wakefulness.

It took me a moment to take in my surroundings. An unfamiliar bedroom, an unfamiliar bed and certainly an unfamiliar man.

His loose red curls sprawled on the pillows beside me. The only sound in the room was his shallow breathing. I realised his hands were fitted tightly around my stomach, my ass perfectly aligned with his crotch and then the feeling of his warm breath against my neck.

I gently turned to face him, he only stirred slightly but his grip fell to my hip and tightened on me as he pulled me up to his chest.

My breasts squished against his strong pectoral, my breath hitched in the back of my throat as a low moan fell from his rosy lips.

I admired him in all his beauty. His copper hair lightly fell over his face, without even thinking I lifted my finger to brush a stray curl off of his face.

His fine features excenturated in the morning light, the fair lashes sat under his eyes. His mouth formed into a half smile as he dreamt, sometimes his lips parted and his tongue would dash out to wet his dry mouth.

I found myself lost in his beauty, the memories of the night before swarmed into my brain. His tongue lapped with mine as he sucked the breath out of me.

He kissed me like he’d been starved for a thousand years, like I was the food he needed and he devoured it.

I wonder what it felt like to kiss him again.

Jamie sucked in a sharp breath and his eyelids fluttered open and his lips slightly parted.

Baby blue orbs pierced my own dull eyes.

For a moment we didn’t speak, we just looked at one another for what seemed like a lifetime.

“Hello,” He whispered, his breath hot against my cheek and made it incredibly hard to concentrate on not wanting to kiss him again.

“Hi.” I responded, my voice cracked slightly.

“Are ye alright?” He darted his tongue out to wet his lips and softly cleared his throat.

“Yes,” I sighed. “Apart from the headache, I must look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.” I joked and turned on my back as I ran my hands through my knotty, unruly locks.


“Never.” Jamie smirked. “I should uh, get up and get ye some pain relief.” He nodded and removed his arms and hands from my embrace. I winced from the loss of contact

He pushed the duvet off his body and climbed out of bed.

“Yeah, that would be great, thank you.” I smiled in return, holding up the duvet to cover myself as much as possible.

“Right then…ye can use the shower if ye wish.” Jamie softly said.

“Thank you, Jamie.”

“Aye, nae bother. Towels are in the bathroom. I’ll make us some coffee, aye?” He nodded at me.

With one last glance, he swiftly left the room.


Climbing into the shower, I closed my eyes as the warm water hit my skin. Images of Jamie’s mouth on mine filled my mind as I squeezed my eyelids closed.

My breath hitched as I remembered his soft lips caressing my own; the gentle stubble against my soft skin. Goosebumps arose across my body and a warmth pooled in my belly as I revelled in the memory of him.

What am I doing?

I couldn’t think like this. I couldn’t act like this. It was wrong, in every way. Wrong for Jamie, wrong for me and wrong for Frank.

One of us, if not all, would end up getting hurt if I let this go on.

I had to stop it before it was too late.

Jamie had made me feel wanted and special and that’s all it was.

It was the attention he gave me, the words he said and how they made me feel.

It wasn’t Jamie himself, but his actions. Actions that should’ve been coming from my husband. Not my employer-slash-friend.

Both of us were weak in the moment and while it was admittedly nice, it couldn’t work. It couldn’t happen.

I am a married woman, I made a vow and I can’t allow myself to continue this façade.

Getting out of the shower, I dried myself off with the warm fluffy towel I had put on the radiator prior to getting into the shower.

Luckily, I still had my overnight bag that was meant for the hotel. Annoyingly, I only had that red laced underwear. Reluctantly, I slipped on the garment and pulled my jeans over my thighs and threw my blouse over my head.

Heading back downstairs, I sighed when I reached the top of the landing.

Get it together, Beauchamp.


Entering the kitchen, the smell of bacon and eggs frying made me salivate.
Jamie stood over the stove preparing said food.

“Nice shower, Sassenach?” He said, without turning back.

“Yes, thank you.” I mumbled and sat myself at the table.

Jamie turned and presented me with coffee, water and pills.

“Caffeine, hydration, and pain relief.” He flashed a smile before turning back to the stove to flip the eggs.

I stayed quiet and threw the pills back, gulping down the entire glass of water. I cleared my throat and sighed heavily before moving on to my coffee.

“Do you need anything from me today?” I asked softly.

Jamie scooped the eggs out of the pan along with the bacon onto two plates, the toast popped out of the toaster and he added that on too. He placed the breakfast infront of me and then in front of the chair he was about to sit at.

“Thanks.” I nodded.

“Nae bother. As for today, nah lass. I cancelled work because ye werena gon’ be here.” He dipped his toast into the runny yolk and popped it into his mouth.

“Of course.” I said, cutting up my own breakfast and taking a bite.


“Jamie.” We both said at the same time and ended up bursting into laughter.

“You first.” Jamie gestured his hand towards me.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Fergus came bouncing down the stairs.

“Bear!” He exclaimed and ran over to my side, pulling his seat up next to me he leaned over and took a bite of my toast.

“Cheeky.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes at the little beast.

“Why’re you here?” He questioned, I shot Jamie a quick glance and cleared my throat.

“Well…my plans changed and I thought I’d come over and say hi.” I said and scruffed a hand through his hair.

“Ah, that’s nice. I hope you aren’t too sad about your plans not going right, bear.” Fergus stood from the table and made his way to the fridge to pour himself a glass of fresh orange juice.

“Yes, well, nevermind.” I sighed, finishing the last of my bacon.

“You look sad, bear. What is it?” Fergus placed a concerned hand on my shoulder.

“Fergus!” Jamie snapped. “That’s nay o’ yer business! Apologise to Claire, right now.” Jamie demanded, his face reddened with anger.

“Jamie!” I snapped, giving him a stern look. “It’s fine, Fergus. I’m alright, I didn’t sleep too well, that’s all.” I said with a small smile, hoping the boy would believe me.

Liar. My inner subconscious said, you had the best damn night sleep of your life.


Pushing back my inner thoughts, I drank the last of my coffee. “I must be getting home, thank you for the delicious breakfast.” I smiled at Jamie who’s mood had dramatically dropped since Fergus walked in.

His shoulders tense and his jaw clenched.

“Aye.” Was all he said.

I collected all of my belongings and made my way to the front door, Jamie followed slowly behind me.

“Right well… this is me. Thanks again Jamie.” I laughed nervously, stepping out of the door that I so ungraciously fell into last night.

“Thanks for what, then?” Jamie mumbled under his breath but enough so that I heard him.

“For breakfast.”

“Just, breakfast?” He looked at me with a question in his eye, but would he go further than ‘just breakfast’?

“Yes. I had a lovely breakfast. I will see you tomorrow.” I turned on my heel when I did, he grabbed my hand.

“Yes?” I said looking down at his hand over mine.

He paused for a moment and licked his lips, I couldn’t fathom what was going on behind those striking blue eyes.

“Have a nice day, Sassenach.” He smiled and he gently ran his thumb across my knuckles, causing me to suck in a breath.

Reluctantly he released my hand.

“You too, Jamie.” I whispered and turned on my foot and left without looking back behind me.

I feared if I turned around, I would run at him.

I was doing everything in my power to avoid all of this.

Jamie is my friend. Jamie is my friend. Jamie is my friend.


I repeated over and over in my head throughout my cab ride home.

Once I reached my house, I realised Frank’s car still wasn’t there.

Fucking dickhead. Getting his money's worth!

I threw my handbag and overnight bag onto the sofa and lazily shrugged my coat from my arms and hung it up.

I needed a lovely soak, even though I’d had a shower at Jamie’s I felt like I still needed to wash away everything I had felt.

I dragged myself into my bedroom and through to the en-suite.

Drawing myself a hot bubble bath, I stripped down and threw my white silk robe over my naked body, padding my bare feet through to the kitchen I pulled a bottle of expensive white from the wine cellar, just to fuck Frank right off.

I didn’t even bother with a glass. Straight from the bottle it was.

I shrugged off my silk and lowered myself into the bubbly warmth.

Opening the wine, I guzzled some back and picked up my phone.

“Hello?” I said, holding the phone to my ear as I began to shave my legs.

“Lady Jane, what’s to do?!” Joe’s wonderful voice filled my ears, making me instantly feel relaxed.

“Oh Joe… I’m in a right mess.” I half giggled.

“Tell me all about it, my girl.”

Chapter Text



Joe and I had a long conversation over my bottle of wine and bubbles last night. I told him everything, I trusted Joe with my life. At first, he said “Well LJ, it’s about time someone showed you some love.” At that I groaned and said “really not helping.” He never once made me feel like a bad person for what I had done or how I felt, which I was grateful for. 


He listened to me and no judgement was made. 


“Listen, Claire. You need to think about what you really want to do.” He sighed. 


“Do you want to make things right with Frank?” He asked. 


“Yes. I do.” 


“So, in that case you have to get over what happened between you and Jamie. A moment of weakness, madness. You have to act professional with Jamie and do your job. As for Frank, he needn’t ever know. You both need to work on your marriage, talk to him. Sort it out.” 


Joe Abernathy and his wise, wise words. 


So I did. 


I turned up at the Fraser house that very morning. 


“Hey, bear.” Fergus greeted me, bouncing into the kitchen. 


“Well, good morning to you, Soldier.” I ruffled his curly locks. 


“JJ’s in the shower.” He said, grabbing his cereal from the cupboard. 


“Alright.” I smiled and turned to the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. 


“Are you feeling better today, bear?” Fergus asked, tilting his head to look at me. 


“I’m fine thank you.” I nodded in reassurance and then the sound of footsteps approached. 


“Good morning, Sassenach.” Jamie chirped and walked over to stand beside me. 


The scent of Vanilla and Sandalwood filled my nostrils. 


Momentarily, flashing me right back to the night he kissed me and then held me all night. 


“Good morning, Jamie.” I offered him a soft smile and moved away to find my seat at the dining table. 


“Freshly boiled.” I gestured to the kettle sitting on the work surface. 


He nodded in acknowledgment and made himself a coffee in a take out mug. 


“I shouldna be too late today, only until 5-ish, or so.” Jamie said, taking a piece of fruit from the bowl and biting down on it. 


“That’s fine.” I said, short and sweet. 


“Aye. Claire, can we talk?” Jamie asked, a glint of hope in his piercing orbs. 


“Is it regarding Fergus?” I furrowed my brows in question. 


“Nae.” Jamie coughed. 


“Well then, there’s nothing to discuss.” I smiled and instantly regretted my blunt and sharp tone. 


“I see.” He nodded, turning to the kitchen table he retrieved his keys. 


He balanced the apple between his teeth while slipping on his grey suit jacket. 


God, he looked handsome in grey.


“Enjoy yer day.” He mumbled, ruffling Fergus' hair on the way past, I heard the light click of the door and I sighed in relief. 

I dropped Fergus at school and spent the rest of the day running errands, paying the bills, buying the food, and lastly cleaning our house for Frank’s return. 


All the while my mind wandered to copper locks and blue eyes. I felt awful for how I had treated him this morning. After all this is all my fault, not his. 


But we had crossed a line. A line that should never have even been approached, let alone crossed. 


I knew one of us was bound to end up getting their heartbroken, trouble is, who was it going to be?


I tried to distract myself by dusting, polishing and vacuuming but my mind was still miles away. 


Damn you, blue eyes.

After I had picked Fergus up from school, I started to prepare his dinner while he sat at the kitchen table, head buried in a maths quiz he had to hand in tomorrow for school. 


“Argh! I hate homework.” He pouted and slammed his pencil on top of the paper. 


I laughed and nodded my head at him. “Me too, soldier. I had to endure a lot during my nurse training. Just remember the harder you work, the better the outcome will be.” I strolled over to him and gently squeezed his shoulder. 


“Use your fingers to count, it’s a lot easier.” I said. 


Fergus nodded and began counting down from 40 in his head. Lightly tapping each finger as he said the numbers. 


“Ah-ha! 10!” He clapped his hands in excitement and continued to jot down his answer. 



Jamie returned back just after 5pm, like he said. He discarded his jacket, boots and tie, I watched as he unfastened the top button of his crisp white shirt and he let out a sigh of relief.  


“Have ye had a nice day?” Jamie smiled upon entering the kitchen, he then fumbled with the buttons on his cuffs. 


“Yes, thank you. And you?” I said, politely. 


“Aye.. it was alright.” His lip turned up to a half smile and I could see something was amiss but I didn’t question it. 


“Fergus has eaten his dinner and finished his homework. He’s just in the shower now.” I collected my handbag from the back of the kitchen chair and gently slung it over my shoulder. 


“Aye, thank ye. D’ye wanna stay for a cup of tea?” He raised a brow and flashed a charming smile. 


“I can’t. I have to get home, Frank’s back today.” I swallowed, feeling the elephant in the room expand. 


“Right.” Jamie whispered and looked down. 


“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jamie.” I made my way down the hall to the front door. 


“Yer a fool, Claire.” Jamie spat. 


I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned back around. 


“Excuse me?” I half laughed, unsure of Jamie’s meaning. 


“Ye heard me. Yer a wee fool.” He shook his head and I slowly walked back into the kitchen. 


“I beg your pardon!” My voice raised, anger began to bubble inside me. 


“Ye ken fine well, he’s no’ a good husband. Yet here ye are, running back to him.” Jamie scoffed and tutted under his breath. 


“And what exactly would you know about being a husband? You’ve never been married.” I folded my arms against my chest. 


“Aye. Yer right. I’ve no’. But I ken how to treat a woman. Especially one that ye love.” He spoke softly, but surely. 


I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I am not having this conversation with you, and I do not need you to tell me how to behave, thank you.” I spat and turned back on my feet. 


Jamie’s hand clasped around my upper arm and he spun me around to level my face with his. 


His chest heaved up and down and his eyes locked on my lips. 


“He’s no’ a man in love, Sassenach.” His lips centimeters away from my own. 


“Don’t you call me that!” I ripped my arm from his grip and swallowed the growing lump in my throat. 


“How dare you speak of me and my relationship like this, you have no right!” I argued, tears spilling from my lower lash line. 


“I’m trying to protect ye Claire.” He sighed and brought his rugged hand to my cheek and swiped his thumb under my eye to catch the tear. 


I smacked his hand away and pushed his chest back with my hands in frustration. 


“I’m not yours to protect! And don’t you ever touch me again, do you hear me?!” I shouted. 


“The only reason I am doing my job is because I love Fergus. That is it. I won’t give up on him, but I want nothing more to do with you!” I cried. 


Jamie’s face fell to the floor and I could see the hurt in his eye. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut momentarily. 


“Claire… I just-“ he rubbed his temples in frustration. 


“You just what? Hm? Frank was right, all you want is to fuck me!” My voice came out as a screech and Jamie almost winced. 


“No!” He shouted, slamming a fist against the kitchen surface. “Dinna ever say that again.” He warned. 


“Well then, I think we are done here.”  I whispered and turned on my heel to leave. 


Just as I reached the door he shouted. 


“It’s never been like that wi’ ye. That was never my motive.” I stood still for a second as I drank in his words. 


I closed the door behind me. I let out a sob and fumbled in my bag for my keys. Climbing into my car, I sat in the driver's seat and punched the steering wheel while sobbing and screaming. 






Frank was back when I had returned home. He was waiting for me in the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand and his tail between his legs.


The last thing I wanted to do right now was have this conversation with Frank, I had had enough of arguing and shouting for one day. All I wanted to do was curl up and sleep but I knew I couldn’t leave things the way they were. 


I had to fix my marriage. 


Plodding my heavy feet across the kitchen floor I retrieved the glass from Frank’s hand and gulped half of it down. 


Frank’s eyes narrowed as he assessed my mood. “Claire?” He furrowed his brows. 


“Hm?” I raised my eyes to meet him and continued to sip my wine.


“Have you been crying my darling?” He sighed and took a step forward tentatively placing his palm on my shoulder. 


“I’m alright.” I huffed, darting my gaze away from him. 


“Can we talk?” His voice was soft and calm and borderline irritating.


“I suppose.” I said with no emotion. Frank dropped his hand from my shoulder and into my palm. 


Guiding me out of the kitchen through to the living room, he sat me down on the sofa and placed an arm lazily around my shoulders. 


“I’m so sorry, my love.” His dark eyes swarmed with sorrow and I almost felt sorry for him.


“I know.” I nodded, half smiling. 


“I was nothing but a fool. You deserved to have a nice evening and I ruined it.” He creased his forehead until his brows met. 


“Yes, you did.” I took in a sharp breath. “But there’s no point going around in circles.” I added. 


Frank nodded in agreement. 


“We need to start being a couple again, Frank. If we don’t, we are going to lose each other. I need to be with my husband alone sometimes. I understand your bosses are important to you. But so should our marriage.” I spoke softly, careful not to add any sarcasm or annoyance to my tone so I didn’t cause another huge row. 


“I agree. From now on, I will work on it. I will be better for you. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” He chased my eyes for any sort of redemption, I softly closed my lids as my head bobbed up and down in acknowledgement and understanding. 


Frank smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me, brushing his small lips against my own. I parted my lips to give him more access, he didn’t attempt to deepen the kiss. Our lips briefly caught one another’s and my first thought in my mind was how different I had felt kissing Jamie opposed to Frank. 


Jamie: passion, excitement, arousal, need, want. 


Frank: tired. 


And that’s how different I had felt kissing the two men. 


I tried my hardest not to think too much into it as Frank removed my glass from my hand, placing it down on the table in front of us. 


He took my hand in his and led me to our bedroom. 


Laying me down on the bed, his tall and lanky frame hovered over me and he peppered kisses along my cheek and to my lips. 


I tried with everything in me to deepen the kiss, to grasp hold of any sort of passion between us. 


There was none. 

After Frank and I had finished, I slipped into the bathroom to take a shower, just as I disrobed my phone began to ring. 


Slipping a towel around my frame I grabbed my phone to answer. 

Jamie Fraser calling


My heart pounded in my chest and I could almost hear the pulse in my ears. My heart beated so loudly. 


Clearing my throat, I answered. 


“Hello.” I said in a professional manner. 


“Hello Claire. It’s Jamie.” He cleared his own throat. 


“Yes. Your name came up..” 


“Aye. I just wanted to see if ye could have Fergus for me tomorrow night? I ken yer no’ meant to be working but-” 


I cut him off. 


“That’s fine Jamie. I told you when I got the job I was easy with my hours. What time do you need me?” I quizzed. 


“Around 6.30 until maybe 10pm.” He responded. 


“Oh, that’s late..” I commented, kicking myself for seeming like I was interested in his personal affairs. 


“Aye. Some stuff t’do.” He half chuckled. 


“No problem. Well if that’s all?” I fished for him to at least attempt an apology. 


“Aye, that’s all. I’ll see ye, Claire.” 


“Night, Jamie.”


With that the phone hung up and I was left with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

Claire, not Sassenach. 


Just Claire. 

Chapter Text




I was dreading facing Jamie today, I had all day to prepare myself for what I would say to him. 

I was still mad at him. So mad. 

But I couldn’t carry it on because of my job and Fergus. I had to push past my feelings towards Jamie so I could get on with what I was there for. 

But I knew deep down Jamie wasn’t going to just let it go, he would want to talk it through and maybe that actually would be a good idea. If we settle the dust and put it to bed we can move on and continue our working relationship. 

It still felt pretty awkward, and I find myself wondering how on earth it came down to this? To my employer and I at loggerheads with each other. And the small fact that we had endured a rather intense game of tonsil tennis. 




Why did it have to be so complicated?


I had no choice, I had to face him regardless, so I decided that I would be as polite and civil as I possibly could be and maintain professionalism. 

I needn’t engage in any conversations with Jamie other than when it concerned Fergus, of course. 


Pulling up outside of his house I turned my car engine off and sat in my seat for a moment thinking over what I would say. 


‘Hello, Jamie’ ? 


‘Hi’ ?


‘Hello, Mr Fraser.’ ? 


No, much too formal. 


Casual was the way to go. I just needed to act normal and be myself and everything would be fine, right?


Checking myself out in the overhead mirror I sighed at my own reflection. Rolling my eyes at myself, I sucked in a deep breath. 


It’s now or never, Beauchamp


I hesitated for a second before I brought my knuckles down to meet the solid oak door and began to tap.


“Claire.” Jamie smiled, greeting me at the front door. He stepped aside and initiated for me to enter. 


I did. 


“Thank you.” I mumbled under my breath, trying my hardest to give minimal contact to Mr. Blue Eyes.  


“Bear!” Fergus came running to me from the kitchen, I scooped him into a tight hug and ran my hand through his brown locks. 


“Hello, Soldier.” I chuckled. 


“Can we watch a movie tonight, pleaaaaase?” He looked up at me through glistening puppy dog eyes. 


“I suppose we could, why not.” I shrugged my shoulders and Fergus jumped excitedly. 


“Aye, go get yerself ready for bed.” Jamie said, nudging Fergus’ shoulder. 


“Okay!” He said, turning around and skipping up the stairs. 


“Jamie are ye-“ I heard a female voice speak and I snapped my head in the direction it was coming from. The kitchen. 


A tall, beautiful, blue eyed blonde girl emerged from the doorway. Her long Sandy locks flowed down to the middle of her back, the light spread of mascara intensified the blues of her eyes and the beautiful red cocktail dress she wore complimented her porcelain-like skin and the swell of her breasts heaved over the top of her dress. 


I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. 


“I’m sorry, I dinna ken ye were here.” The young girl said, walking over to me she fluttered her eyelashes. 


“Oh erm.. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here either…?” I tightly smiled, feeling slightly awkward. 


“Laoghaire.” She responded, offering me her hand. I took it and gently shook it. 


“Claire.” I smiled. 


I chanced a glance at Jamie, the tops of his ears turning pink and the apples of his cheeks followed. 


“Aye, now we’re all introduced, Laoghaire let’s go.” Jamie mumbled turning his back and taking his and Laoghaire’s coat from the rack. 


“I’ll be back… later.” His face turned to me as he helped Laoghaire into her coat. 


“Right.” I whispered. 


I stood frozen as I watched them gather their things and walk out of the door, Jamie turned and gave me one last glance before he closed it behind him. 


I let out a huge sigh and squeezed my eyes closed. 




What was that? 


Trying to distract my thoughts about what just happened I shouted Fergus down to watch the film he had so desperately wanted to watch. 


“Alright kiddo, what film are we watching?” I cocked my head to the side waiting for a response. 


“Well… I really like Mary Poppin’s.” He shrugged. 


“Sure! I can do that.” I nodded and flicked on Disney +. 


We got ourselves cosy on the couch with a blanket, popcorn and hot chocolate. 


Fergus cuddled into me and I enjoyed holding the little boy in my arms, feeling his warmth on my skin and his little heart beat - beating against my chest as he lay on me. 


“She reminds me of you, bear.” Fergus chuckled. 


“She does? Why?” I smirked, narrowing my eyes. 


“Dinna ken. Cos you’re so beautiful as is she. And she’s the perfect Nanny. She loves Jane and Michael. Like you love me.” He shrugged against me. 


‘Dinna ken’ he was picking up Jamie’s Scottish tongue. It was cute.


I felt my heart swell and grow 10x its original size out of pure love for this gorgeous little boy I held. 


“I do, Soldier.” I nodded at him. 


“Right, are you ready for my big number?” I sat up straight and Fergus pulled back to look at me. 


“What do you mean, Bear?” He titled his head with a quizzical look across his face. 


“Get up, come on!” I said shifting his body weight from me and he sat himself up and threw the blanket across the floor before rising to his feet. 


“In every job that must be done

There is an element of fun

You find the fun and snap!

The job's a game.”  I sang and snapped my fingers in front of his face and his little eyes lit up. 

And every task you undertake

Becomes a piece of cake

A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, The medicine goes down, The medicine goes down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down In a most delightful way.” 


I grabbed Fergus’ hand and we spun around in circles. Both of us ended up dizzy and we fell into a heap of laughter onto the couch. 


“Claire?” Fergus asked, nuzzling back under my arm. 




“You’re the best.” 

I felt the weight of Fergus being lifted from me as I fluttered my eyes open to wakefulness. 


I watched as Jamie carried Fergus out of the living room and I heard the padding of his feet up the stairs. 


My body ached as I stretched out my heavy limbs, slightly arching my back I yawed before forcing myself to sit up right. 


I rubbed my sleepy eyes with the back of my hand and before he made himself aware I knew he was there, his presence filled the room. 


He strolled in and sat down next to me, yawning and stretching his own body. 


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for us to fall asleep.” I cleared my throat. 


“Dinna fash, it is late.” I felt his shoulders move up and down as he shrugged but I refused to look at him. 


“What time is it?” I quizzed. 


“Just after ten.” He sighed. 


“God. I'll be getting home, then.” I began to rise from my seat but felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist. 


“Claire.” The way he said my name nearly broke my heart, so soft, so tender. 


“Jamie, I know what you’re going to say but please, can we not do this? I just want to carry on as we did before any of this.” I said, throwing my hand in the air to gesture towards me and him. 


“Aye.” He nodded. “But I need to tell ye I’m sorry.” He still had hold of my wrist. 


“Why?” I whispered. 


“Would ye look at me?” I saw his head tilt to the side out of the corner of my eye and I sighed and slowly turned my face to meet his. 


“I shouldna said what I said. I was sore.” He searched my face for my response.


“No, you shouldn't have. But, what’s done is done. I just want to move forward and forget about it.” I closed my eyes as I breathed deep. 


“Aye. I’m sorry ye had to meet Laoghaire like that.” 


Ouch. That did bother me, but why?


“It’s fine. It’s none of my business who you go out with.” I darted my gaze from his in hopes he couldn’t see the jealous flicker in my eye. 


He made a Scottish noise in the back of his throat. “I didna mean to rub it in yer face, Sassenach.” He still held on to my wrist and his thumb was softly dragging against my pulse making it quicken. 




“Rub it in my face? What do you mean?” I met his eye and furrowed my brows in confusion. 


“Well ye ken… after the kiss and such.” He chuckled, nervously. 


“What, do you think it bothers me that you have a girlfriend?” I nervously laughed. 


“She isna my girlfriend.” He corrected me, sharply. 


“Well whatever she is. It doesn’t bother me, Jamie.” I said, softly. My heart was thumping in my chest and I felt light headed. 


“Ah.” He pulled his hand away from my wrist and dropped his arm into his own lap. 




“Christ, Claire yer impossible.” He said through slightly gritted teeth. 


“I’m sorry?!” I raised my brow at him. 


“Yer so fucking confusing. Ye all but beg me to kiss ye and then you push me away and act like you dinna care who I date or who I fuck.” The anger was sharp in his tone and I found myself slightly taken aback. 


“Beg you?” I snapped. “That’s really low, Jamie.” I shook my head and pushed myself up from the couch. 


“You knew I was having a rough night. Don't use it against me.” I tried to walk out of the room but Jamie jumped up and stood in my way. 


“And for the record, no I don’t care who you fuck. Now please move, I have to go.” I said through a heavy breath. 


“Do ye not now?” He raised his brow. 


“No..” I gulped hard and I shook my head profusely. 


He raised his hand and traced my jaw with his index finger, in an agonisingly slow motion he made his way to my neck and traced the pulse pumping against my skin. 


I briefly fluttered my eyes shut and swallowed. My heart rate increased dramatically and my skin felt like it was burning under his touch. 

“Hm, funny. Why is yer pulse so fast, sassenach?” He tilted his head and furrowed his brow. 


I scoffed and threw his hand away from me. 


“I have to go.” 


“Stay wi’ me?” He whispered, his face inches away from my face, I could feel his breath tickling my skin. He smelt of Whiskey and his usual Vanilla. 


I felt dizzy. 




“I said, stay wi’ me.” He repeated. 


“I know what you said. Why are you asking me this, Jamie? I’m married!” I exclaimed and furrowed my brow in confusion. 


“Aye, I ken. But…” He brought his thumb to my bottom lip and gently traced it across. 


“Can ye honestly stand here, and look me in the eye and tell me there’s nothing between us? If ye can, I’ll leave ye be.” Those piercing blues made me feel weak at the knees. 


“Jamie, please.” I closed my eyes. And his thumb moved to my chin. 


“Tell me. And I'll stop.” He whispered, moving his face closer to mine. His lips brushed my own and I felt a shudder down my spine. 


I whimpered as he dragged his top lip across my bottom. “Tell me.” He darted his tongue across my lip. 


“I can’t!!!” I almost cried.


Chapter Text

“I can’t.” I almost cried. 


My heart was beating in my chest, I squeezed my eyes closed because I knew if I looked at those baby blues I would agree to anything he said there and then. I had to be strong. 


“Ye can’t what, Sassenach?” He hummed against my lips, as he began tracing his index finger up and down my neck, goosebumps erupting in the wake of his touch. I felt my breathing becoming irregular and my body began to tremble. 


“I can’t say that there’s nothing between us, Jamie. But I also can’t do this.” I gently placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me. Jamie stumbled back slightly, a look of disdain crept onto his face, and his cheeks turned slightly pink. 


“Aye,” he cleared his throat. “I respect ye Claire.” he sighed, heavily.


“I thank you for that. I don’t want to ruin a good thing here, we have a great working relationship, Jamie. I love being here with Fergus, and I have found a friend in you.” I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding.


“Friends?” Jamie’s brows knitted together and he tilted his head slightly, looking at me in question. 


“Well of course, I think we are good friends.” I nodded reassuringly. Not sure whom I was reassuring, me or Jamie. 


“Aye.” He swallowed hard and I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed down. 


“It’s late Jamie….I’ll see you on Monday when I come to take Fergus to school.” I smiled and grabbed my handbag from the floor. 


Making my way out of the room Jamie stayed still, standing in front of the fireplace. I leaned over and patted his shoulder in a friendly manner. 


“Laoghaire seems nice, maybe take her for another date.” I smiled sweetly and felt Jamie’s muscles tense underneath my hand. 


“Good night, Jamie.” I whispered and walked down the hall. 


I stopped in my tracks when I heard him mumble from the living room. “I dinna want her.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fighting everything in me to not go back and throw my arms around him and tell him it’s all going to be alright. 


Forcing myself out of the house, the cool, crisp June air hit my cheeks and instantly began to calm the heat that was rushing through my body. 



       “Lay down for me, Sassenach.” He said, gently pushing my shoulders down to lay on his bed. He crawled over me and placed soft kisses across my jaw, down my neck and over my clavicle. His nose scraped down my goosebumped skin and I felt the breath hitch at the back of my throat as he released a breast from my bra and clasped his mouth over a hardened nipple. He gently sucked it between his teeth and his tongue flicked over the hard nub. 


  My back arched off the bed when his hand traced down my bare legs and his fingers grazed over the thin material of my underwear. “Tell me what ye want, Claire.” His voice was barely a whisper as his fingers hooked around my knickers and slowly pulled them over my bum and down to my thighs, leaving me bare. 

He kissed my pubic bone and my hips involuntarily thrusted upwards. “Oh,” I groaned and he ran his stubble against my sensitive skin and pressed a kiss straight on my centre. “Tell me…” his voice got further and further away from me. 

“You. I want you.” I moaned. 

His mouth turned into a cheesy grin and his head dipped in between my legs. 

“Claire?” I felt my arm being shaken and I slowly peeled my eyes open. I threw myself forward and slumped against the headboard panting. 


“Are you alright, darling? You were whimpering.” Frank whispered and I snapped my head in his direction, the moonlight peaking through the thin grey curtains in our bedroom shining on his face, only showing me a glimpse of his frown. 


“Yes,” I sighed.


“What happened?” He gingerly stroked my arm. 


“N-nothing…I - uh, I had a bad dream..” I coughed and rubbed my hand against my forehead. 


“I just need the toilet.” I threw the bed covers back and climbed out of bed, heading for the bathroom. I flicked on the light and squinted my eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. Closing the door behind me I slumped against it and sighed heavily. 

I grabbed the wash cloth from the towel rack and ran it under the cold water lightly rubbing it over my sweaty neck and cleavage. 


I can’t believe I had a sex dream about Jamie!






My mind quickly went back to the mop of copper grazing my stomach as he went further down to where I wanted him. 

Fluttering my eyes closed, I saw him in my head yet again and quickly sat myself on the edge of the bathtub. 


Pulling my lip between my teeth I ran my hand across my body, pausing over my breast where I gingerly traced the outline of my nipple, remembering how Jamie latched on in my head. I threw my own head back as I moved further down and slowly pulled the hem of my nightie up. I traced my inner thigh with my fingers and headed up to my pulsating heat. 


Tell me what ye want, Claire.” His voice echoed in my head and I slowly ran my finger up and down my slick fold, my toes curled at the sensation of my fingers flicking back and forth. 


God I was so wet. 


I sped up my movements and began to draw circles around my clit making my legs gently shake and my head was leaning against the cold tiles. Thoughts of copper curls and blue eyes swarmed my thoughts. 


“Claire?!” A loud knock on the door brought me out of my haze and I quickly pulled my nightie down and stood up, feeling slightly light headed, I quickly stood up and turned on the taps of the sink. 




Well I was, until you disturbed me. 


“Are you alright?” Frank pressed. 


“Yes. Just feeling hot and I have a headache. I’ll be out in a minute.” I deadpanned. 


I sighed and looked up at myself in the mirror above the sink. 


Christ, Beauchamp. Get it together.


I unlocked the bathroom door and swiftly exited the room, climbing back into bed. I turned on my side and Frank lazily draped his arm around me. 


My only thoughts as I drifted off to sleep once again was that Bloody beautiful, blue eyed Scot. 


The next morning I woke up with a heavy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, my heart ached and my head pumped. 


Climbing out of bed I padded my heavy feet into the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of cold water, gulping down the refreshing liquid, letting out a heavy sigh and rubbed my mouth with the back of my hand to dry my wet lips. 


Turning around I picked up the kettle and filled it before setting it back down and flicking it on. I leant against the kitchen counter and picked at my nails while I waited for said kettle to boil. 


My thoughts wandered to a certain red head that had consumed my thoughts all night. 


I was clearly just very sexually frustrated and there’s no doubt about how handsome Jamie is, so maybe my irrational brain put two and two together and came out with one-hundred. 


Christ, what did this mean? 


Did I have feelings for Jamie?


Well I know I do but, I thought it was just friendship and that we liked to be in each other's company.. I mean, yeah we kissed and it was hot and all but I still didn’t realise it was anything other than that.


Frank came trotting down the stairs and entered the kitchen, smiling up at me. I shook my head and cleared all thoughts of that Bloody Scot. 


“Good morning,” I smiled up at my husband. “Coffee?” I titled my head in question. 


“Mmhm; please.” Frank came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his head leaning on my shoulder as he watched me pour the boiling water into the mugs. 


“Fancy going out tonight, my love?” He said, his breath against my neck made me shiver, but not in the way it should. 


“Oh, that sounds lovely darling.” I rubbed my hand over his arm that was wrapped around my waist. 


“I thought we could go into town and have dinner.” He squeezed me against him and I nodded in response. 


“I’d really enjoy that, Frank.” He let go of me and I turned to pass him his coffee. 


“I’m going to read the morning paper,” he took a sip from his coffee and lightly patted my bum on his way past. 


I felt sick.

Chapter Text



Frank and I made a reservation at a small Italian restaurant in the town nearest our home. I wore denim jeans, black boots and a white blouse buttoned up to my cleavage. I let my hair loose, not having the energy to try to tame those curls and a light wash of makeup. 


I sprayed my favourite Estée Lauder perfume and I was ready to go. 

Grabbing my bag from the coat stand and a grey blazer I checked my watch for the time; 5.30. Our reservation was for 6pm.


There was no sign of Frank yet so I made my way back through my house and sat down on my sofa. 


The thoughts of my sleepless night swarmed my mind, I’d tried not to think of it all day. I did whatever I could to not think of the dream or what I almost did after..


I was surely just lusting after Jamie, maybe because my marriage wasn’t fulfilled enough. I was missing so much, passion, excitement, good sex. It had been so long since Frank had touched me for me and not for the sake of our marriage. Sex was about him, not me. He wanted his own release and fast, it didn’t matter how much I wanted / needed it too.


But Jamie….I don’t know what kind of lover he is, but my mind seems to have made that judgement for me, the way the dream went..he was very good, in my head at least. 


Of course he was, anyone would be blind not to see what kind of man he is. Gentle, caring, loving, tender…


Maybe I just wanted Frank to be more like Jamie and that would solve our problems, maybe if I told Frank I needed him to change things as a lover and a husband things would work. 


Yes, I would talk to him. Tonight. 


Looking back down at my watch it was now 5.45 and at this rate we were cutting it fine for time. I sighed and rubbed my finger across my forehead. 


He couldn’t even make it home in time for dinner, was work really more important than I? 


As that thought crossed my mind I heard the door open and the sound of Frank’s feet shuffling on the hardwood floor. 


“Claire!” He shouted from the porch. 


“I’m coming,” I stood up from the couch and made my way to the door to greet my husband. 


“I’m sorry darling, are you ready to go? I’ll have to go in my work suit.” He looked at me apologetically. 


“I’m ready.” I nodded and he smiled back at me; he stepped in front of me and wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me flush against his chest, looking down at my lips he licked his own. I smirked at him and raised a suspicious brow. He bent his head and placed his lips upon mine in a soft and slow kiss, he moved away from my mouth and latched on to my neck. 


A gasp escaped my mouth. “Frank,” I croaked. “Hmmmh.” He continued to kiss my neck and behind my ear. 

“We’re going to be late.” I softly chuckled. “Noooo,” he groaned and his head collapsed onto my shoulder. 


I placed my hands on his shoulders and gently pulled his body from mine. 


“Come on,” I titled my head and smiled at him before slipping my hand into his and leading him out of our house. 

We were seated in a lovely little booth facing the door of the restaurant. It was dimly lit and the smell of pizza and pasta cooking filled my nostrils making my stomach growl in response. 


“Hungry?” Frank chuckled and picked up his glass of red wine taking a sip. 


“Quite.” I laughed, sipping on my glass of white. 


“So, darling, how is work?” Frank raised a brow at me and shuffled in his seat. 


“ we really need to talk about work tonight?” I quizzed. “Because I think we should just enjoy being together, Hm?” I nodded. 


“Of course, Claire. But there is something I need to speak to you about.” He cleared his throat and furrowed his brow. 


My heart began to race. 


“Alright, what is it?” I whispered. I stared deeply in his eyes for any sort of hint. 


I saw nothing


“I have been offered a promotion.”  He smiled and I felt some sort of relief but I still was sure he was about to tell me something else…


“Frank! That’s wonderful.” I beamed, cupping his face with my hands and kissing him chastely. 


“But.” He stopped me. 


I nodded, waiting for him to continue. 


“It’s in New York.” He shrugged. 


“New York?!” My eyes widened and my mouth hung open. 


“Yes, Claire.” He looked down at his fingers and began to fiddle with his tie, nervously. 


“Well…that’s at least 4 hours away, that's 8 hours a day travel.” I shook my head, surely he wasn’t considering this?


“I would only be in New York for 3 days a week and the rest here. I’d stay in a hotel while I was there.” Frank took a sip of his wine and cleared his throat, he took my hands in his and held them tight. 




“So, you’re telling me for 3 days a week my husband won’t be at home?” I furrowed my brows and lightly shook my head. 


“Yes. But I promise it’ll be worth it.” He gave me a gentle squeeze. 


I scoffed and shook my head. “Worth it for who, Frank?” 


“Claire, listen to me.” Frank started but we were interrupted by a small boy with curly brown locks shouting “Bear!!”


I pulled my hands from Frank and turned to see Fergus running towards me. 


“Bear! Bear!” He exclaimed as he ran into my arms. I squeezed him tight to me and then pulled him by the shoulders to look at him.


“Fergus! What’re you doing here? Where’s your father?” I asked. 


“We’re here having dinner with Murtagh and Aunt Jo. JJ is over there.” Fergus turned and pointed to Jamie who had spotted Fergus with us, I watched as he whispered something to the waitress and made his way over here. 


Oh god. Oh Jesus H Roosevelt Fucking Christ!


My heart was beating in my chest as Jamie approached the table, the sudden images of his lips all over my body flashed before my eyes and I quickly swallowed and shook my head. 


“J-Jamie,” I stuttered. 


“Hello to ye, Sassenach.” He flashed those pearly whites and I felt my stomach do a somersault. 


“What’re you doing here?” I smiled. 


“Same as ye, I presume. Eating.” He stated the obvious. 


“Right,” I nodded and noticed Frank sat next to me. “Oh, how rude of me. Sorry. Frank, this is Jamie.” I placed my hand in Frank’s and swallowed hard. “Jamie, this is my husband, Frank.” 


“Nice to meet ye, Mr Randall.” Jamie offered his hand out to Frank, he removed his hand from mine and shook Jamie’s hand. “Likewise.” He mumbled under his breath. 


Just as I opened my mouth to speak Jamie’s phone rang and he excused himself, leaving Fergus sitting on my knee. 


“So, Mr what’ve you been doing today?” I asked while Fergus nervously played with the necklace around my neck. 


“Not much, JJ has been busy all day so I’ve been bored. I missed you.” He shrugged. 


“I missed you too, Soldier. We will have lots of fun tomorrow.” I reassured him and he responded by hugging me tightly around my neck. 


Christ, I adore this little boy.


Jamie came back from the phone call and called Fergus to him. “We best be off. Murtagh cancelled. It seems wee Archie has a stomach bug. Fergus, let’s get pizza to take out. Say goodbye to Claire and Mr Randall.” He nodded his head at Fergus. 


Fergus hugged me tight and lowered his head. “See you tomorrow, bear. Good bye, Mr Randall.” Fergus hopped down from my lap and made his way down to his father. 


Just as they waved us off and turned away I impulsively shouted. “Wait!” Jamie turned around giving me a quizzical look. “I thought maybe you’d like to join us? You’re already here…” I shrugged and felt Frank’s eyes burning into me. 


“Oh, Sassenach…we wouldna wanna intrude.” He shook his head. 


“You aren’t.” I said matter of fact. 


“Alright then..” Jamie pulled a chair out for Fergus opposite Frank and one for himself in front of me. 


“Thanks for letting us join, Mr Randall.” Jamie smiled at my husband politely. 


Frank scoffed and shook his head. “Yes, well I didn’t have much of a choice.”


“Frank!” I scolded, frowning at him. 


“Well, Mr….” Frank trailed off. “Fraser.” Jamie stated. “Ah of course, Fraser. I hope you and your son will be great company for my wife once I go to the Big Apple.” Frank said, placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezing me. 


“The Big Apple?” Jamie quizzed. “New York City.” Frank chirped. 


“Oh…” Jamie’s gaze met mine and I inhaled sharply, gently shaking my head, hoping he didn’t pry further. 


“Shall we order?” I changed the subject as quickly as possible. 

After our meal, we split the bill and said our goodbyes to Jamie and Fergus. 


“See you tomorrow squirt,” I said ruffling Fergus’ locks, he waved me goodbye and ran to get in the car. 


Frank had already got in the car and started the engine. 


“Good night, Sassenach,” Jamie snaked his arm around my waist and placed a kiss on my cheek; I blushed furiously as he lingered near my jaw. 


“Jamie, Frank’s in the car…” I cleared my throat and he pulled himself reluctantly away from me. 


“Thanks for a nice evening, Jamie.” I waved and walked away from him to my car, when I climbed in next to Frank, Jamie was still standing in the same position looking over at us. 


My heart was pounding in my chest. 


I dreaded the conversation I would inevitably have to have with my husband once we had returned home. 


The car ride home was silent and awkward. Frank didn’t utter a word to me, instead he nervously tapped his fingers against the wheel as he drove. The only sound was the radio on low and Tina Turner ‘Whats Love Got To Do With It’ played. 


How Ironic. 


I hummed along to the tune and rubbed my hand up and down my thigh as I watched out of the car window for my house to come into sight. 


Entering the house, I removed my blazer and boots and tossed them to the side, Frank behind me doing the same. 


I walked into the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard and two tumblers. After pouring the brown liquid into the glasses,  I made my way back through to the living room where Frank was sprawled on the sofa with his hand rubbing against his forehead. 


“Here,” I stood in front of him and handed him his glass. 


He took it from me without a word and I gently sat down next to him, sipping some of the harsh liquid. 


“So. New York.” I shuffled back in my seat awkwardly and chanced a glance at Frank who was still rubbing his forehead. 


“Yes. Fantastic opportunity for me.” He nodded and took a larger drink. 


“For you?” I felt my tone coming sharp as I tried to contain my frustration. 


“Yes and for us, it’s more money.. more for us in the future, for our children.”


“Our children?” I scoffed. “You expect me to want to have your children while you’re gone 3 days a week, not a chance, Frank.” I shook my head. 


“Claire, you’re being unreasonable. It won’t be forever.” He sighed, heavily.


“Well then, how long?” I narrowed my eyes at him whilst I swirled the whiskey around the glass. 


“A year, or so..” he shrugged, as if it was nothing. 


“Or so?” I titled my head. 


“Depends on the contract and how well I teach down in New York.” He sipped another bit of whiskey. 


“Right, so if they like having you there, they will keep you? Is that what you’re saying?” I gulped.


“Perhaps,” he nodded.


“This is nonsense Frank, I moved to Boston for you, for us to be together and you expect me to be okay with this?” I said in disdain.


“I expect my wife to support my decision, yes.” 


“I have supported you in everything Frank, it’s you who doesn’t give a fuck about me.” I spat, throwing back the last of my drink.


“Don’t be so ridiculous, Claire. You know I have apologised for my lack of enthusiasm for your new career choice. Did I not just endure a dinner with your boss and his brat?” He shook his head and half chuckled. 


“Brat?!” I shouted. “How dare you!” I rose from my seat and began to pace around the living room. 


“He is all over you Claire; he calls you ‘bear’ what even is that?!” He laughed. 


That is a lovely, kind hearted little boy!” My heart was beating in my chest and I felt the anger rise from my feet up to my chest. 


“No, he’s got you wrapped around his finger. You are not responsible for him. He's too familiar with you.” He scoffed. 


“He is a child, Frank! A child who's been in and out of care for the first 5 years of his life, if it wasn’t for Jamie adopting him I wager he would still be there now. He needs love and attention.” I defended Fergus.


“And that is not your job.” 


“What, do you think I go to work,  look after him and that’s it? No Frank, you have to bond and build trust, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be any good at my job.” I sat down in the leather chair opposite Frank. 


“And let’s not start on this Jamie fellow,” he scoffed and raised a brow. 


“What’s that supposed to mean?” I furrowed my eyebrows together with a stern look across my face. 


“It means, Claire, he’s clearly besotted with you. Quite sad really, poor bloke.” His tone was sarcastic and vile. 


I’ve never loathed him more than I did right now. 


“Fancy lusting after a married woman, someone he’ll never have.” He tutted. 


“Yeah well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that Frank if this is how you’re going to behave.” I snapped and stormed out of the lounge. 


“Claire, where are you going!” He shouted. I ignored him and picked up my bag, coat and shoes and threw them on. 


Frank appeared in the hall. “What the hell did you mean by that?” He spat. 


“I meant, if you carry on like this, you will lose me to a better man.” I turned away from him as the tears began to spill from my eyes, soaking my cheeks. 


I reached for the door handle and Frank abruptly grabbed onto me and pulled me back. “Get off me!” I shouted in his face and ripped my arm from his grasp. 


“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He screamed.


“Far away from you .” I whimpered and turned back to leave the house, I turned back briefly to shut the door and Frank’s face was clammy and red from the frustration, he ran his hand over his face.


 “Think about what it is that you really want Frank.” I whispered and closed the door behind me. 




I sobbed the minute he said my name, my eyes where red and puffy and mascara had leaked all down my soaked cheeks. 


“Oh lass,” he sighed as I fell into his arms. He rubbed my back tentatively and whispered soothing words of comfort into my hair. 


“I’m sorry,” I puffed out a breath against his shoulder. 


“Come, let’s get ye a drink.” He pulled me away from him gently and slipped his hand into mine and guided me towards the living room. Slowly he sat me down on the sofa and turned to the cabinet and poured us a dram of whiskey. 


I thanked him quietly as he offered me my drink, I sighed and wiped my tears on my jacket arm. 


“Why don’t ye take that off, hmm? Ye’ll ruin it. I’ll get ye a wee sweater of mine.” 


“Oh you don’t have to-“ 


“I dinna mind, Claire.” Jamie placed his hand on my shoulder and I nodded gently and gave him a half smile. 


I shrugged off my jacket and hung it over the back of the sofa, Jamie returned quickly with a soft grey sweater, I took it from him and slipped it over my head, the familiar scent of Vanilla filled my senses and I felt somewhat dizzy. 


The sweater was so big it practically swallowed me whole. 


“I ken yer a lot smaller than I but it should do ye fine.” Jamie chuckled softly. 


“I’m so sorry to turn up unannounced like this.” I sighed and picked up my glass of whiskey from the table in front. 


“Dinna fash yeself, I’m here for ye.” His voice was soft and soothing, helping to wash away all of the anxiety that was churning inside of me. 


“Thank you. I know this is so unprofessional, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found someone new. I always seem to have a problem.” I nervously chuckled. 


“Dinna be daft, yer the best Fergus and I could hope for. And as for professionalism, well I think we’re way past that now, don’t ye?” He smirked and took a sip from his own dram. 


“I suppose,” 


“So, is this about New York?” Jamie sighed and twisted his body to face me. 


“Yes, and many other things.” I traced my finger around the rim of the glass while staring down at the liquid, begging the tears to not start falling again. 


“Come, Sassenach.” Jamie opened his arm for me and I gently lay myself against him, his chin rested on my head and his arm came around my shoulder where he began to trace his fingers up and down my forearm. 


“Let it out.” He whispered against my hair. 


So I did. I sobbed on his chest, gathering the thin material of his shirt in my fist, my body shook with the sobs and Jamie held me tighter. 


Jamie’s hand came under my chin and tilted my head upwards to face him, he sighed and licked his lips. I couldn’t help it but my eyes flickered down to his plump and pink lips. 


We were inches apart, all it would take is one small movement and I’d be kissing him. 


I reached up and traced my index finger across his jaw, slowly I moved under his chin where I guided him to hover over my mouth. “Claire,” he whispered against my lips. “Shhhh.” I placed my lips over his and started to kiss him deep, he hesitated for a moment but soon melted into the kiss with me and took a fist full of my hair in his hand as his mouth was pressed hard against mine. 


We both moaned as our tongues met and my hands began to roam his hair, the back of his neck and his broad shoulders. 


I pushed myself up without breaking the kiss and moved to sit on his lap sideways, my arms wrapped around his neck and his low around my lower back, his hand resting on my hips; I was sitting directly on his crotch which I felt twitch against my arse cheek. 


I stopped briefly to breathe and pressed my forehead to his, both of our chests heaved and Jamie fluttered his eyes closed momentarily and swallowed hard. 


I went in to kiss him again but Jamie gently touched my shoulder to stop me moving further. 


“I dinna think I can stop myself if you kiss me again, Claire.” His voice was hoarse and shaky. 


“Then don’t.” I breathed heavily against his cheek where I then placed a soft kiss on his stubble. 


“Claire. Please.” He sighed. 


I pulled away and looked at him, embarrassment washed over my face and I brought my hands up to bury my face in them. 


Jamie gently pulled my hands away to look at me. “Sorcha,” he whispered. 


“It’s alright I get it. You don’t want me, I’m used to not being wanted.” I scoffed and attempted to climb off his lap but he stopped me by grabbing onto my hips. 


“Is that what ye think?” He furrowed his brows. 


I nodded in shame. 


“No, no….God no, mo nighean donn, I want ye so….so much I can scarcely breathe.” He brought his hand to cup my cheek and I looked at him with heavy lids. 


“Then why did you stop me?” I found myself looking down and playing with the bottom of his sweater I had on. 


“Because I dinna think it’s what ye want.” He sighed. 


“Jamie,” I brought my face up and met his gaze. ”It is.” I whispered. 


Jamie darted his tongue out to wet his lips, a puzzled look washed over his face. 


“I just….I dinna wanna take advantage of ye while yer sore, Sasseanch. I want ye to be clear headed, not clouded by hurt and betrayal.” Jamie shrugged. 


“Do ye ken how much it’s killing me to say no to ye right now?” He sighed heavily and traced his finger under the sweater and drew small circles on my bare hip bone, my breath caught in my throat with the contact. 


“Then please, stop denying me. Take me upstairs, Jamie.” He was right, I was clouded by my feelings. But I was also letting the lust, the need, the want and the connection between Jamie and I take over my entire brain. And right now, I couldn’t care less. 

Chapter Text



“Upstairs?” Jamie’s cheeks blushed furiously and he darted his gaze away from me. 


“If you want to...” I began to feel nervous myself, maybe this was a mistake.


“Aye I do, if it’s what ye want?” he wet his lips with his tongue briefly. 


“Is Fergus asleep?” I cleared my throat and removed myself from Jamie’s lap. 


“Aye.” He stood up in front of me, his large frame towered over mine. I had butterflies in my stomach and I gently grasped his hand. 


“Lead the way...” I whispered, not breaking his eye contact. 


He nodded and squeezed my hand tight before leading me out of the living room and up to the stairs, we climbed the stairs in silence. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I almost felt dizzy from the buzz. 


“This is my room.” Jamie said, opening his bedroom door and stepping aside for me to walk in. 


It was cozy, a large king bed sat in the middle of the room. The walls were washed with light grey and white. His bed was made perfectly and there were two white fluffy rugs on either side of the bed. 


“It’s lovely…” I smiled, heading over to the window where a lovely chaise lounge sat underneath, I took my opportunity to sit there. I patted the empty seat next to me for Jamie to come sit. 


He strode over to me nervously and perched himself down, he didn’t meet my eye. He played anxiously with his hands in front of him. 


“Jamie…” I said, stroking the back of my hand up his arm. He turned to face me then and before I could ask him if he really wanted to do this, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and crushed his mouth on top of mine. I gasped at the unexpected notion. He was kissing me hungrily, but tender. Softly taking my bottom lip between his teeth, letting it free and then putting his tongue back in my mouth. 


I wrapped my arms around his neck and he fumbled with the sweater I was wearing, pulling it up my torso and over my head he chucked it to the other side of the room. He then found his way to the buttons of my blouse. He pulled away from the kiss to give us a chance to catch our breath. 


“Is this alright?” He gestured towards his hands working on the buttons on my blouse. I nodded. 


“Say yes, Sassenach,” he whispered. 


“Yes, Jamie. Take it off.” My voice was ragged and breathless. 


He didn’t need to be told twice, he got the last of the buttons undone, threw it in the same direction as the sweater and feasted his eyes on my chest. I mentally kicked myself for not wearing a sexier bra. 


“I know it’s not exactly a nice bra…” I laughed nervously and covered my chest with my arms. Jamie shook his head and pulled my hands away from covering myself. 


“Dinna cover yerself, ever, not fer me. D’ye hear?” He furrowed his brows and took his gaze back down to my cleavage. 


“Christ,” he exclaimed, bringing his hand up to my clavicle where he traced it with his forefinger slowly down to the swell of my breast and then down the middle of my cleavage. “Yer the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,.” he sighed. 


I felt my chest rising and falling at a more rapid pace, the feeling of the heat pooling in my belly, the arousal slick between my thighs. A feeling I hadn’t felt from a man in so long. 


“You’re wearing far too much,” I chuckled and lifted his shirt over his head. I took a moment to take in his chest, I had seen it before of course, but never in this way. I never had a chance to truly appreciate how beautifully sculpted he really was. 


His pectoral muscles flexed as he moved his arms to stroke my cheek, god he was so beautiful. I leaned in and placed a kiss over said muscle and heard Jamie’s low growl from above me. looking up at him, I peppered kisses up to his chest, to the hollow of his neck, his jaw and finally his lips. 


He wrapped his arms around my lower back and lifted me off the chaise lounge. We stood facing each other momentarily before Jamie’s hands wandered to the back of my thighs where he gently bent down and lifted me around his waist. 


He walked towards the bed, slowly. He laid me softly down and hovered over me. He kissed me gently, and moved his head into the crook of my neck where he placed small and delicate kisses across my skin, goosebumps arose all over my body in the wake of his touch. 


He moved his way down to my breasts where he spent a lot of time kneading and kissing the visible skin above my bra. I arched my back for him to put his hand underneath me and unclasp it. 


He did. 


The cool crisp air hit my bare breasts and my nipples instantly peaked, Jamie lowered his head to take one into his mouth and I moaned when his tongue flicked over the sensitive nub. He licked around my areola before taking my solid nipple between his teeth and gently biting. “Oh god,” my breathing was irregular as he continued to attack my breasts. 


Much to my disappointment he let my breast go and made his way to my jeans, unbuttoning them slowly he looked up at me for approval and I nodded. He gingerly unzipped them and carefully dragged them down my thighs and off my legs, leaving me with nothing but my small knickers, again, I wish I had chosen better. 


He groaned looking down at me and placed an arm under my back and guided me further up the bed. He crawled away and lay on his side next to me. 


“Lay here,” he said, pointing to his chest. I furrowed my brow in slight confusion. 


“What?” I looked him up and down. 


“Do ye trust me?” He looked at me so softly, so kindly, I could’ve melted there and then. 


“I do.” 


“Then do as I say, lay against me.” He repeated, I obliged and laid my back against his chest. One of his arms came around my shoulder and his hand clung to my breast, he gently pinched a nipple between two fingers and I gasped in response. 


“I have dreamt of this since first I saw ye,” his voice was barely a whisper, if his mouth wasn’t against my ear I wouldn’t have heard him. 


He used his free hand to trace small patterns up and down my stomach, causing my tummy to suck in everytime he brushed against my pubic bone. 


I began to pant as his fingers worked against my skin, I let my head roll back and my eyes flutter closed, he pressed his lips against the soft skin behind my ear. 


“Tell me, Claire,” he said. 


“W-what?” I swallowed hard and opened my eyes to turn my head to look at him. 


“Tell me what ye need, Sorcha.” 


“I—I u-uh, I need you.” I let out a breathy moan as his hand caressed my inner thigh. 


“Need me tae what?” He mumbled against my hair, driving me absolutely crazy. 


“To uh, I need you to touch me, Jamie.” 


There. I said it. 




Oh my god he’s trying to kill me. 


“Here?” He said and traced a finger right down my centre over my knickers and my hips thrusted upwards to meet his full palm. 


“Y-yes.” My chest was heaving up and down. 


I could feel him smirking next to me as he slowly pulled my knickers down over my thighs. He then trailed his hand back up my inner thigh and swiped a finger across my slick folds. “Uhhh,” I groaned. 


“Oh god, Sassenach, yer sae wet fer me.” He moaned in my ear which only increased my arousal. 


Slowly, agonisingly slow he started circling around my centre. 


“Tell me how ye like it, mo nighean donn,” he pressed his lips against my neck and one hand was flicking my nipple and the other was circling my sopping wet folds. 


I thought I may combust. 


“Higher,” I croaked. He hit the spot and I nodded against his chest. He sped up his movements and my hips met his hand with upward thrusts. 


“Jamie,” I moaned. He took this opportunity to slip a digit inside and I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from screaming, it wasn’t until the familiar taste of copper swarmed my mouth I realised I broke the skin on my lip causing a small pool of blood. I licked it away and continued to watch Jamie hard at work. 


He pumped his finger in and out whilst his thumb sat firmly on my clit. 


“More, Sassenach?” He teased. 


I nodded. 


He added a second finger and I thought I was going to explode there and then. 


“Oh god,” I groaned as he pumped faster and circled my swollen nub. I felt the familiar feeling building in the pit of my stomach. 


“I ken ye’re close, Sorcha. Let it go, come fer me.” Those last words sent me over the edge and before I knew it my walls were clenching around his fingers and my mouth was shouting his name. 


“That’s it.” He mumbled against my neck and placed a kiss against my beating pulse. 


He rode out the last of my orgasm, slowing down his moves, my legs were twitching and my heart was pounding. I closed my eyes and he removed his fingers from inside me, I nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. 


I fell completely spent against his chest, Jamie leant back against the headboard and my head rolled on to his stomach, he gingerly pushed a stray curl from my face and tucked it behind my ear.


“Christ ye’re beautiful, especially when ye come.” He chuckled and I peeled my eyes open and turned my head in his direction. 


“Christ, yer bleeding.” He furrowed his brows and swiped his thumb across my now swollen bottom lip. 


“Oh,” I blushed. “Well, I didn’t want to wake Fergus, so...” I felt my cheeks turn pink. 


He did a throaty chuckle and leaned over me and placed his lips over my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and licking gently. 


“That was uh,” I blushed again as Jamie pulled away. 


“That was pretty sexy, Sassenach.” He teased. 


I buried my face in his stomach and placed a soft kiss on his abdomen. 


“And what about you?!” I said, tracing my finger along the top of his jeans. 


“Dinna fash about me, this was about ye.” He said, gathering me in his arms and pulling me up to his chest. 


“You’re the most amazing man, do you know that?” I smiled and Jamie looked down at me and raised a brow. 


“That’s the orgasm talking,” he joked, kissing the top of my nose. 


He rolled me off him and stood up before removing his jeans. I watched as his trapezius muscles flexed under his skin as he pulled his pants off. 


He was magnificent.


He crawled back into the bed and gathered me back up in his embrace, he pulled the duvet over us and snuggled into me. 

“Rest now, a nighean.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and held me tightly to his chest.


“Jamie?” I mumbled against his neck. 




“Thank you.” I whispered, curling my fingers around his copper chest hair. 


“Fer what?” He quizzed. 


“For this, for making me feel good. For reminding me of how a woman should feel.” I felt my cheeks blush.


“As I said tae ye before, ye should always be treated this way, Mo Chridhe.” 


“You’ve said those words to me before, what does it mean?” I tilted my head up to look at him. 


He curled his lip up into a smile and gently shook his head. 


“One day, I’ll tell ye all the Gaelic.” He kissed me softly and we both soon fell into a deep and content sleep. 


Chapter Text



The feeling of hair tickling my cheek woke me from my deep slumber. Inhaling sharply, I fluttered my eyelids open. It took me a few moments to take in my surroundings. I turned my head slightly to the left and saw piercing blues staring into my soul, copper locks hung over his face dangling in front of me. 

His rosy and plump lips formed into a smile and I couldn’t help but return it. 


“Good morning, a nighean. ” He whispered, his breath hot against my cheek sent shivers down my spine. 


He bent down and brushed his lips against my own, I hesitated momentarily but when his tongue flashed my bottom lip I gave in to his kiss. 


My hand found the back of his neck and I gently tangled my fingers in the baby curls at the back of his head which earned me a rather deep moan from the back of his throat. 


His hands skimmed over the fabric covering my body and he slowly tucked his hand underneath where he found my bare stomach and started to caress and draw circles against my hot skin, his hand moved over to my hips where he gently but seductively squoze me. 




I pulled away sharply and gasped for breath. I moved myself slightly away from Jamie and he reluctantly removed his grip from my hip, I pulled the covers up to my neck to somewhat cover myself. 


A little late for that, Beauchamp. 

“Are ye alright, Claire?” Jamie furrowed his brows. I nodded quickly and gulped down the lump in the base of my throat. 


“I-uh, yes,” I cleared my throat and darted my gaze away from him as I began to feel the heat rising up to my cheeks. “It’s just, I haven’t got any clothes on...” I bit down on my lip nervously and chanced a glance at Jamie.


He had a shit-eating grin written across his face and his eyes lit up. “Aye,” he chuckled a throaty laugh and gently shook his copper curls. “I ken.,” 


I was surely blushing ferociously.


“Would you please pass me my clothes?” 


“Aye,” he climbed off the bed and began looking for my items of clothes that were scattered around the bedroom. 


“Sassenach, where did yer wee knickers go?” He furrowed his brow in confusion as he searched the bedroom floor. 


“Ah ha!” He exclaimed and bent down to the bottom of the bed he pushed himself underneath the bed slightly to retrieve my undergarments. 


When he came back to his feet my knickers were swinging from his index finger and he had a smug look across his face, yet again.


Christ, could the ground swallow me whole? Please?


He walked over to my side of the bed and dropped my knickers into my lap, and bent down over me. He placed his hands either side of my shoulders and licked his lips while scanning my face. 


I didn’t know what to do. Did I want to drag him by the scruff of his neck and kiss him senseless? Yes. Was I a married woman who should not be doing this? Also, yes.


“Jamie...” I let out a breathy moan as his head bent and his lips attached to the base of my throat. He made his way up my throat and to my jaw, he kissed the spot behind my ear and let out a shaky breath in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. 


“Christ Claire,” he gulped. “I regret that I have tae leave ye here, naked, in my bed. I want nothing more than tae-“ He was cut off by a loud thumping on the bedroom door. 


Shit, Fergus. 


“JJ!!” He muffled a shout through the wood door. 


Ifrinn! ” Jamie exclaimed, reluctantly pulling away from me. 


“Aye laddie,  I’ll be out in a wee minute. Go get a shower.” Jamie shouted back. 


“I should uh, get changed and go down stairs before he sees me coming out of your room.” I raised a brow at Jamie and he nodded and waited for me to move. 


“Could you uh, you know...” I blushed awkwardly. 


“Och, aye. I’ll give ye some privacy,” he had a twinkle in his eye and he looked extremely happy and it broke my heart. 


“Jamie, we need to talk about this.” I gestured between the two of us with my finger and watched as Jamie’s face fell to the floor. 


“Aye...I suppose we do, but I dinna wanna burst the bubble just yet,” he shrugged. “Besides, I’ve got t’ head t’ work soon.” He half smiled sheepishly. 


“Of course, but when you're home.” I nodded. 


Jamie took a step forward and then a step back and rubbed his stubble. 






“If ye’re gon’ say what I think ye are, and this is tae be the last time, then I would verra much like tae kiss ye before I leave. May I?” He gulped and I could see the fear of my possible rejection in his eyes. 


“Yes,” I nodded, feeling on the brink of tears. 


He strode over to me, he wrapped the duvet all around me to cover my body and when he sat down he brought me on to his lap, his arms tight around my body, he pushed his chest flush against me and connected our lips. 


He kissed me hard and hungry. His mouth was all over me as he savoured this moment, as we both savoured it.


He moved his lips over my cheeks and jaw and neck all the while one hand caressing the side of my ass and the other in my hair. 


I pulled back breathless and felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Jamie gently pushed me from his lap and stood up abruptly. 


Clearing his throat he said “Thank ye, Claire. Have a nice day.” He made his way to the bedroom door without turning back to look at me. 


“Jamie!” I said. 


He turned his head to meet my eye and his face was red and his eyes filled with sadness. 


“I’m sorry.” I whispered. 


“Aye, me too.” 


“Where the fuck have you been?!” Frank growled as I entered my house, I chucked my bag on the floor and walked past him, completely ignoring him. 


“Claire!” He shouted, I continued to ignore him as I made my way to my bedroom, straight to the bathroom to run a bath. 


Frank was behind me in no time. “You’re my wife! I have a right to know where the hell you’ve been all night.” He almost stomped his foot like a child. 


“Your wife?” I scoffed. 


“Yes. My wife.” He said through gritted teeth and he balled his fists at his side. 


“When it suits you, I’m your wife.” I rolled my eyes and Frank took a step closer to me exhaling hard and pinching the bridge of his nose. 


“Look, Claire,” 


“No, Frank. I’m sick of hearing all your damn excuses. I spent the night with Joe, if you must know.” I scowled at him and began changing out of my clothes. 


He stood watching me for a second, contemplating what it was he actually wanted to say to me. 


“I’m sorry. I do love you, Claire.” His voice broke as he said my name and a sudden pang of guilt thumped me square in the chest. 


I exhaled and shook my head before padding my bare feet across the tiled floor and when I approached him I gently wrapped my arms around his shoulder and gave him a tight squeeze. 


His hands roamed my bare body and he sighed in relief. He planted a soft kiss on my cheek and I slightly pulled from his embrace to look him in the eye. 


“I’m sorry.” I whispered. 


“What for? It’s my fault, darling, I should’ve told you about New York.” he shook his head. 


“I know you should have. But I understand it’s for your career and if it’s what you want then I will support you.” I spoke softly, hoping my voice wouldn’t betray me and show any signs of guilt. 


“Truly? You will?” He smiled brightly at me and I gently nodded my head in response. 


“Oh darling. Thank you.” He wrapped me up in another embrace before peppering my cheek with light kisses. 


“I love you.” He repeated. 


“You too,” I kissed his lips gently. 


“Oh Claire,” he cleared his throat. “That reminds me, I have to go to up to New York soon for a week, I’m so sorry, my darling. I promise it’s only this once I’ll be gone for that amount of time.” He gulped, expecting a retaliation out of me but he didn’t get one. 


“It’s fine, Frank. I said I’d support you, and I will.” I pulled back from his arms and turned back to my bath, I gently lowered myself into the hot soapy water and let out a small moan when the water kissed my skin. 


“I’ll leave you to bathe, thank you, Claire.” He smiled again and I nodded before he swiftly exited the room. 



I hadn’t stayed at the Frasers after Jamie had got home from work. I knew I wanted to talk to him but I didn’t have it in me to face the conversation today. So, once he arrived back home I filled him in with stuff regarding Fergus and I left as quickly as possible. 


Just as I laid my head back against the bathtub my phone buzzed from the side of the sink, pulling me out of my thoughts.


I gently pulled myself up and leaned over the bath to retrieve it. 


Jamie Fraser calling…


Oh fuck. 


I hesitated momentarily over the reject button but before my brain could register what I was doing, I accepted his call. 


“Jamie,” I cleared my throat. 


“Hello, Claire.” His voice was hoarse and sexy, and suddenly the feeling of his hands all over my body came fresh in my mind and I felt my skin burst with goosebumps. 


“Is everything alright?” 


“Och, aye…I just….” He paused for a second before I cut in. 


“I know.” I looked down at the soapy water and began to twirl the bubbles with my hand. 


“I’m sae sorry,” he sniffled.


Is he crying?


“For what?” I quizzed. 


“Taking advantage of ye, in the way that I did. I’m sae ashamed Claire will you-“ I cut him off. 


“Jamie! Don’t. Please. Don’t say that, you did nothing wrong,” I cleared my throat and looked behind my shoulder to make sure the door was locked. 


“It was my fault, I was the one who initiated it.” I whispered, so Frank couldn’t hear me. 


“Why’re ye whispering?” He whispered back, I chuckled. 




“Aye, of course, yer husband.” He said, slightly bitterly. 


“Jamie, I…”


“Tis fine. Dinna fash. I just wanted tae apologise and check ye’re alright.” He mumbled. 


“I meant what I said.” 


“What do ye mean?” I heard the confusion in his tone. 


“You’re the most amazing man, Jamie.” I whispered against the speaker. 


“Christ, I wish I could kiss ye.” 


My breath hitched at the back of my throat and just as I was about to say something there was a knock on the bathroom door. 


“Claire, do you want some wine, love?” 


“Yes! I’m coming now,” I shouted. 


I heard Jamie’s heavy breathing at the other end of the line. “I’m sorry, I have to go…” I said, regretfully. 


“Aye, go tae yer husband… mo gràidh.” He said softly.


What did you say?” My voice was low and barely a whisper.


“Nothing. ‘Tis silly. Good night.” 


“Good night, Jamie.” 


Chapter Text



I hadn’t seen Jamie over the weekend or spoke to him since our last phone call. I was apprehensive about going there today. I didn’t know how to approach the situation and I didn’t want things to be awkward between Jamie and I. 


I mentally cursed myself for being foolish and getting myself into a situation I clearly couldn’t handle. 


I just wished that things were different, I wish our circumstances had been easier. I wish I didn’t feel attracted to Jamie, I wish I didn’t want him as much as I did. I wish he didn’t say all those amazing and beautiful things to me in both Gaelic and English and I loathe myself for how they made me feel. 


How my breath would get caught in my throat whenever he called me Sasseanch, Sorcha, Lass, even my own name. His words of endearment that made my knees wobble and my heart ache but there was nothing I could do about it.


Our circumstances weren’t different, and that wouldn’t change. I have a husband and I didn’t take a vow to break it, although, some may argue I already had but I refused to let myself believe that or get further swept in. 


If I stopped now, all would be well and I could continue trying to work on my failing marriage.


Except those blue eyes kept swarming my thoughts and making my head spin. 

I pulled up outside of the school gates and turned off my engine, sighing, having rubbed my temple with my index finger in attempts to relieve some of the tension, it didn’t work. It made me more frustrated and my heart pounded at the thought of facing Jamie very soon. 


I was only picking up Fergus today as Jamie texted this morning to say he would be taking him in but would I pick him up and bring him home for dinner. 


Our text was short and sweet and formal with no hint of flirtation. In fact it was nothing more than professional.


I saw the mop of brown curls bouncing in my direction which soon brought me out of my deep thoughts. I smiled brightly at the little boy headed towards my car. 


He opened the passenger side, flung his rucksack into the rear of the car and launched himself into the seat. 


Bonjour milady.” He smiled, and leaned over to my side and softly kissed my cheek. 


“Well aren’t you the perfect gentleman?!” I chuckled before turning my ignition on and telling Fergus to put his belt on. “ Oui.” 


So, how was school?!” I pulled out of the gates and drove towards Jamie’s house. 


“Ah, you know, boring.” He lazily shrugged his shoulders and I stifled a low chuckle. 


“Yes, I suppose nobody likes to go to school.” I nodded. 


“You’re a nurse, bear, surely you must’ve liked school.” He titled his head and turned slightly to face me. 


“What makes you say that?” 


“Well, you’re very clever and I know that the clever people in my class love coming to school, they even love homework!” He exclaimed and threw his hands in the air with a horrified expression on his face. 


“Yes, well I think you are a clever boy, Fergus. Not all of us that are clever enjoy school. I loved my nursing, doesn’t mean I enjoyed my training and studying.” I said, softly shrugging my shoulders. 


“Aye,” he chuckled, the Scottish lilt he’d picked up from Jamie coming through and warming my insides. 

Entering the house, I took Fergus’ rucksack and jacket, hung them up and placed both our shoes onto the rack. 


I walked into the kitchen and popped the kettle on before turning to the laundry basket under the counter and saw it full. 


“Fergus?” I called. 


“Coming!!” He shouted and I heard his elephant feet running down the stairs. 


“Do you have homework?” I placed my hands on my hips and titled my head slightly. 


“Yeah.” He sighed and slumped into a dining chair. 


“Alright well, I’m going to put some washing in the machine for your father. You get on with your homework, okay?” I smiled. 


“Of course, milady.” He bowed and I shook my head and laughed at him. 


Fergus collected all of his school work and began to write in his work books. I turned to the washing and began to load it into the machine. I picked up a pair of Jamie’s Calvin Klein’s and heat instantly rushed to my cheeks. 


For god sake Beauchamp, it’s a pair of underwear, it’s not as if you’ve never seen a pair of men’s boxers.


I shook my head and continued to fill the machine before adding the detergent and switching it on. 

Sometime later I had made Fergus his dinner and finished doing the laundry for Jamie, I was just washing up the dishes when the door unlocked and quickly clicked shut. My heart was in my mouth and I felt the nerves spiral throughout my body.


Trying to keep myself cool I focused on the task at hand. I didn’t want to make this any more awkward than it already was. 


“Claire,” his voice was soft, calming, sexy, reassuring. A mixture of things wrapped into one. 


“Jamie.” I smiled, turning my head to meet his eye. He was standing in the doorway with his head resting on the frame.


Our eyes locked and we stared at one another for what seemed like a lifetime. In the space of a few minutes my heartbeat had increased and my chest was tugging slightly, like he’d sucked all the air from my lungs with just his stare. 


“Da!” Fergus brought us out of our trance and both Jamie and I snapped our heads in Fergus’ direction. 


“Fergus, are ye alright son?” Jamie walked over and patted Fergus’ shoulder. 


“Aye,” he nodded and Jamie beamed a smile. 


Jamie took off his suit jacket, he fished into the pocket for his phone and gently placed it onto the table before walking back through the kitchen and hung it up at the coat stand. 


Jamie’s phone began to buzz and I reached over for it, intending to pass it to him. 


Janet calling…




“Uh, Jamie, your phone.” I smiled and handed it to him. He thanked me and quickly excused himself into the back garden. 


“Hello, Janet.” I heard him say in a sweet tone before clicking the back door shut behind him. 


I sighed heavily and momentarily squeezed my eyes shut, a pang of jealousy hit me in the chest and the thought of anyone other than me having Jamie or his affections made me nauseous. 


I knew it was wrong, to be jealous, of course it was. I couldn’t help it, though. I tried not to let it bother me but it did and for the first time I felt a small sense of what it must be like for Jamie every time I go home to Frank. 




Jamie’s Pov.


“Hello, Janet.” 


“Hello, bràthair.” The sound of my sister's voice filled my ears and I felt a pang of sadness in my chest. I missed her. I missed Ian, the bairns, Scotland itself. 


“How are ye?” I cleared my throat and sat down on a chair at the end of the garden. 


“Aye, all’s well here. Wee Jamie and Maggie are missin’ their uncle.” She said, a hint of sorrow in her tone. 


“Och, I miss them too and ye of course.” 


“So, bràthair, what’s happenin’ wi’ ye? All’s well I trust? How’s yer wee nanny wi’ our Fergus?” She pressed. 


“Ah Claire…her name is Claire. She’s..well, she’s..” Jenny cut me off before I could continue. 


“Oh Jamie…No, please tell me ye dinnae?” I could hear her frustration through the phone. 


“Please, Jen, dinnae go there.” I whispered, fearing I would be overheard.


“Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Ye bedded her dinnae ye?!” Her voice had pitched high with her annoyance.


“Damn it! No! Janet, well, I’ve slept wi’ her but not as ye think.” I grunted. 


“Christ Jamie! Of all the lassies in the world, ye choose yer babysitter.” She tutted under her breath. 


“I dinnae intend to, it just happened.” I sighed and ran my hair through my mop of locks. 


“And she feels the same?” 


“Uh-uh;’s complicated.” I laughed nervously. 


“How so?” I heard her judgement through the phone. 


“She’s marrit...” 


“MARRIT?” Jenny all but screamed down the phone. I had to pull the speaker away before she permanently deafened me. 


Irifinn ! Janet! Dinnae scream like that.” I switched the phone to the other ear and rubbed the ear Janet had attempted to perforate with her judgement. 


“Don’t ye ‘Janet’ me James Fraser, I will come t’ Boston and clock ye over the heid, are ye stupid?” She scolded me like a damn child. 


“I do not need yer judgment, thank ye.” I growled in frustration. 


“Aye, ye do! Ye thick heid! What’re ye doin’ pursuing a marrit woman?! And what is she doin’ allowin’ ye?” 


“It’s no’ the way ye think, Jen. She’s in a tough place wi’ her husband, he’s no’ a kind man and I think she seeks comfort from me.” I shrugged my shoulders and let out a deep sigh. 


“Aye, I bet she does.” Jenny also sighed heavily. 


“Ye dinna ken what ye’re talkin’ of, forget I said anything, Aye?” I mumbled. 


“I willna be lettin’ this go, Jamie. Ye get yerself involved with a marrit American woman, ye daft bràthair.” 


“She’s no’ american; she's English.” 


“Blessed bride! A Sassenach?!” She exclaimed. 


“Aye…Janet I must go, I’ll talk to ye soon.” 


“Oh no ye don’t, Fraser. Listen t’ me-“


“Good bye, sister. Love t’ the bairns.” I said quickly before putting the phone down and sighing heavily, I leant my head against the back of the chair and squeezed my eyes shut. 


I only sat for a few seconds before I heard the back door unlock and Claire came through it, she strode her way towards me with her bouncy brown hair, the soft curls blew ever so lightly in the mild wind, the sun that was beginning to set shone bright and enhanced her natural beauty. Her dark lashes fluttered and her whisky orbs glistened in the sunlight. 


Her pale pink lips gently parted as she approached me, she looked up at me and I saw a nervous flicker in her eye. 


“Fergus is all sorted for the evening, it’s time I headed off.” She whispered so softly I wanted to melt in front of her. 


“Aye,” I managed to say, my voice cracked slightly and she took two steps back and turned around towards the house, her summer dress blew along with her hair and her hips swayed slightly. 


God, I’m fucked.


“Claire!” I said, catching up to her, I gently took her hand and she spun around to face me, a quizzical look on her face. A stray tendril fell across her face and I fought all that I had to stop myself from tucking it behind her ear.


“Yes?” She half smiled, still holding onto my hand, I gave her a gentle squeeze before letting her hand free. 


“Before ye go…will ye...” I cleared my throat and she furrowed her brows in confusion. 


“Will ye speak wi’ me?” My eyes filled with hope and I hoped she could see how badly I just wanted to talk to her. 


“Jamie, I…it’s not a good idea.” She sighed and tucked the tendril behind her ear that I had so desperately wanted to do. 


“Please, Claire. It’s driving me mad. We need to talk.” I pleaded with her, hoping she would just give me a little of her time. 


“Alright…I suppose we have to talk about it eventually...” She shrugged and turned her gaze away from me. 


“Thank ye, Sassenach.” I opened the back door once again and gestured for her to go in first. 




Claire’s Pov.


I followed Jamie into the living room with a cup of tea in my hand, my nerves were getting the better of me as my hand started to tremble slightly, I quickly set my mug onto the coffee table and sat on the couch opposite. 


I felt the weight of Jamie sitting down next to me but I daren't look at him, I fiddled with my hands instead. 


“I’m sorry, Claire.” Jamie broke the silence. 


I forced my head up to look at him, I sighed and leaned back against the sofa. 


“You’ve nothing to apologise for, it’s me, it’s my fault.” I shook my head. 


“Nay lass. I should ken better.” 


Stop calling me ‘lass’ it makes me want to rip your clothes off.


Pushing that thought completely out of my mind I cleared my throat but said nothing, I didn’t know what to say. 


“Murtagh and Jocasta have their wedding anniversary next week, I’m hosting a wee celebration for them. Just a toast and a bite. Ye’ll come?” He searched my face for my answer and bit his bottom lip in anticipation. 


Oh Lord Jesus.


“Jamie...I…I can’t.” I stuttered over my words. 


“Why not?” His voice came out as a whisper and I was kicking myself for all of my decisions. 


“Jamie, you know why.” I raised a brow at him and he nodded. 


“Aye but this is different, ye ken? It’s for Murtagh and Jo, I ken they’d both love for ye tae be there and Fergus of course.” He shrugged. 


“Well…I’ll think about it. Next week you say?” I quizzed, Jamie nodded in response. 


“Oh...Frank’s in New York all that week...” I picked up my cup of tea and took a small sip. 


“Fer a whole week?” Jamie knitted his brows in confusion and I simply nodded. 


Coileach !” He exclaimed. 




“Nothin’ worth repeatin’.” He brushed it off and licked his lips. 


“So ye’ll come then?” He tilted his head toward me. 


“I didn’t say that...I said I’ll see…” I retorted. 


“Aye.” He mumbled and moved his body slightly closer to mine, I felt the heat of his body radiating against me. 




“Sassenach…” He whispered and brought his hand to my shoulder, he moved the spaghetti strap of my dress to fall against my arm and he traced his finger across my bare skin. My breath caught at the back of my throat and my eyes shut involuntary. 


He bent his head and placed a kiss to my skin, I very nearly convulsed there and then. 


“Jamie, please.” My voice came out erratic. 


“Please what, m’aingeal ?” He whispered against my skin. 


“Stop it. We need to talk properly.” I gulped and gently placed my hand on his arm and removed it from me. 


“Aye, if ye say so, talk then.” He moved back into the sofa and I pulled my strap back up and turned to face him. 


“Who’s Janet?” I blurted out, damning myself for opening my mouth.


“What?!” He furrowed his brows in question. 


“Janet, the person who called you before…” I shrugged and took my gaze back to my hands in my lap. 


A Dhia!” He chuckled and I snapped my head back up. “What?!” I demanded. 


“Ye mean Jenny? My sister…” he had a cheeky grin across his face and I wanted to either slap it off or kiss it off. 


Preferably, kiss. 


“Your sister? Oh Jenny…Janet…I see now.” I wanted to hit myself for my stupidity and my jealousy. 


“Ye’re jealous.” His lip curled up into a cheeky smirk.


“No I am not!” I protested, shaking my head at such a comment. 


“Aye, ye are.” He observed. 


“She’s your sister, why would I be jealous of your sister?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him. 


“Ye dinnae ken that, though. Ye thought I had a lass, dinnae ye?” He titled his head, clearly amused by all of this. 


“Yes. I did. And good for you, if you do.” I tried to shrug it off like it was nothing. 


“Ah, is that how ye feel then?” he leaned forward and poured the last dregs of tea into his mouth. 


“Of course, Jamie. Listen, we can’t do this. I can’t do this. I am somebody else’s wife.” I saw his jaw clench and his fist tighten at my comment, but what could I do? It was the truth. 


“Dinnae I ken it.” He mumbled under his breath. 


“I want us to be friends ! Real, friends. I don’t want this awkwardness and tension between us all the time, it’s draining me.” I rubbed my temple with my thumb and rested my head against my palm. 


Friends? Ye’ve said that before and look where it’s gotten us.” He tutted. 


“I know, but I won’t let it happen again this time I mean it. We can’t continue this, it’ll end up affecting Fergus and we both do not want that.” I was trying to be as stern and as strong as I could. 


“I dinnae think I could be yer friend Claire, I dinna think I can ever be near ye and not want ye. D’ye not see that?” He shook his head and rose to his feet, pacing about the living room.


“Well can you at least try? Because otherwise I don’t know if I can continue to stay here…” I felt tears fill in my eyes and the thought of having to leave the frasers for good made me feel violently ill.


“I’d rather try and be yer friend than lose ye completely, Sassenach.” He stood in front of me now, holding a hand for me to take, I did and rose to meet his eye. 


“I appreciate it Jaime, really-“ Jamie cut me off.

“Just tell me one thing Claire?” He looked down at me and licked his lips, I felt his gaze burning into my chest and I suddenly felt speechless so I nodded instead. 


“Do ye not want me?” He whispered and brought his hand, tucking my hair behind my ear he cupped the side of my head. 




“I want ye to tell me you dinnae want me, then we will see about being ‘friends’ hm?” His gaze was fixed on my lips and I felt overcome with different emotions. 


Fear, guilt, arousal. 


“I…Jamie, that's not fair.” I shook my head and tried to move from his embrace but couldn’t find it in me to move away from him. 


“All I want to ken is that ye want me or ye did.” He whispered. 


“Why do you need me to say it, isn’t it obvious?!” I creased my forehead and searched his fathomless blue orbs. 


“Nah, it isna. So, tell me.” He nodded at me and I sighed. 


“Please, Claire…” he gulped and I pushed his chest away from me in frustration. 


“Fine! You want me to tell you? Alright, I will!” I spat and ran both my hands through my hair. 


“I wanted you, so bad. I still want you, I don’t know how to stop wanting you. Last week when you took me to your bed, I have never felt anything like it. You made me feel alive, I felt free and beautiful and wanted. And lord forgive me I wanted you, all of you, I wanted to feel you inside me. I wanted to hear my name in your throat as I made you come.” My chest was heaving for breath. 


Jamie stood motionless in front of me, his chest also heaving up and down and his eyes darkened with lust.


Next thing I knew he lunged himself forward and pulled me against him, he wrapped his arms around my lower back and lifted me around his waist. 


Slamming my body against the wall he captured my lips with his own, there was nothing gentle about it if I’m honest. He thrashed his tongue against mine, bit my lip until I almost bled and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. 


He broke away from my lips and began attacking my throat and lips; I felt his arousal hard against my crotch, how easy it would have been for him to have me now, here, against this wall and by god did I want him to. He pulled the top of my dress down and kneaded a breast in his hand, kissing the swollen flesh above and tracing his tongue down the valley of my breasts. 


Oh god.


“I want ye. I want ye so bad I canna breath, think, eat. I want ye forever, Claire.” He said with his head in between my breasts. 


“I want you too.” I whispered and he captured my lips with his own again. 


I fumbled with the buckle on his belt and tried to rid him of it while he hitched my dress up and around my waist, he headed towards my knickers when we heard a shout. 


“JJ?” Fergus called. 


Shit. Holy fucking shit.


The padding of his feet indicated he was coming down the stairs, Jamie fastened his belt and ran out of the room, leaving me leaning against the wall wondering what the hell I just did. 


I quickly found my shoes and handbag, I straightened my hair out and flattened my dress, slipping my toes into my canvas shoes and throwing my bag over my shoulder. I made my way out of the lounge just as Jamie was coming back down from seeing Fergus. 


“Claire!” He said, running down the last few steps and standing in front of me. 


That!” I said pointing to the lounge. “Can’t happen again.” I tried to walk past him but he stopped me. 


“Aye. I ken. I’m sorry, it was wrong. I promise it won’t happen again.” Sadness was apparent across his face. 


“I’m sorry too, I promise as well.” I whispered and tapped his chest with my palm before walking past him, opening the door and shutting it behind me. 


Jesus H Roosevelt Christ. 

Chapter Text



A few days had passed since my encounter with Jamie. I swore to myself this wouldn’t happen again and I wouldn’t put myself or Jamie in this situation but here I was, repeating history. 


I couldn’t deny what I felt for him, I tried, fuck I’ve tried so hard to tell myself I don’t want him or I don’t have feelings for him, but I do


I tried with everything I had in me to not give in, okay, up until now it hasn’t exactly been easy but I cannot let anything else happen between us. 


I sound like a broken record but I need to focus solely on Frank and I. 


It was Monday morning and I had just kissed goodbye to Frank for the week as he headed off to the airport bound for New York City. I felt like crying after he kissed my cheek chastely and waved me off, like it was the easiest thing in the world. 


Just as I closed the door behind me, my phone rang. 


Geillis FaceTime…


I accepted straight away. 


“Gel! Hi! Oh how I’ve missed you.” I cooed down the phone to my friend. 


“Aye hen, I’ve missed ye too.” She softly chuckled. 


“So what’s been happening with you?” I settled myself down at my kitchen table and sipped on my coffee. 


“Och, same ol’ stuff, ye ken? Workin’ and what about ye?” She smiled.


“Oh I have this new job which has been…interesting. How’s the hospital?” I cleared my throat. 


“Aye tis good, we miss ye on the ward, though. And what do ye mean ‘interesting’?” She raised a brow and I instantly felt the heat rising to my cheeks. 


“Oh Gel…it’s a long and complicated story.” I sighed and rubbed my temple with my forefinger. 


“I’m all ears…” 


And so I went on to tell her everything about meeting Jamie and Fergus for the first time, falling completely in love with the little boy and adoring him down to his bones. The tension between Jamie and I, the way Jamie makes me feel. 


“Wait! So ye shagged him then, Aye?” Geillis narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. 


“What!? No! There was no actual penetration.” I shook my head. “Unless you count his fingers…” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to stop myself from giggling. 


“Claire Elizabeth!” Gel chastised. 


“Urghhh, I know!” 


“It’s absolutely brilliant, Aye?! ‘Bout time a real man showed ye a real orgasm.” She shrugged. 




“It’s true, is it no’? So when ye gonna return the favour?” She wiggled her brows at me. 


“I’m not!” I protested. 


“Aye….Aye. Whatever ye say, Beauchamp. I dinna believe ye.” 


“Well you best believe it. I have to sort things out with Frank, I can’t go around doing this with other men while I’m still married.” I sighed. 


“Do ye want him?” Geillis raised her brow. 






“Well…I…uh…yes I do, but I can’t.” I said.


“And why no?” 


“G….you know why,” I huffed.


“Aye because of yer husband?” She licked her lips and furrowed her brows.




“And do you want yer husband?” She asked nonchalantly. 


“What sort of question is that?!” I said, in defense. 


“Answer the question. Do ye want Frank or Jamie, ye canna want both.” 


“And who says I can’t?!” I folded my arms across my chest. 


“Christ! Claire!” She pouted. 


“Alright…Jamie.” I shrugged. 


“Ye want Jamie?”


“Yes. Haven't I said that?” I mumbled underneath my breath. 


“Then what the feck are ye doin’ wi’ feckin’ Frank? Are ye mad, woman?” She tutted. 


“Geillis, I don’t need your judgement right now!” I snapped. 


“I’m no’ judging ye, hen. I’m just tryin’ tae figure ye out, ‘tis all.” She gently shook her head, making her strawberry blonde locks bounce against her pale freckled skin. 


“I…love Frank.” I gulped. 


“Aye. I ken ye do. But are ye in love wi’ him?” She raised her brow at me. 


“I…I, well…I think….no, I’m not.” I admitted aloud and I finally felt some sort of release from my chest. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from dragging me down. 


“There. Ye. Go!” She turned her lip into a half smile. 


“I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to be around Jamie alone anymore, though.” I sighed. 


“And why no’? You should see how things go between ye…dinna let Frank weigh ye down.” She grinned. 


“If he knew what I was doing or how I was feeling he would be heartbroken, Geillis.” I felt tears stinging my eyes at the idea of breaking his heart. 


“Do ye really believe that? Claire, I dinna think fer a second he cares fer ye as ye do him. He uses ye tae show ye off tae all his posh colleagues and ye’re merely someone tae warm his bed. I ken it’s hard, love, but tis’ the truth o’ it.” The one thing I loved wholeheartedly about Geillis was she was never one to speak of anything but the truth and was one of the best people to give you a reality check. She may be harsh sometimes, but she’s always right. 


“Why do you always have to be right?” I said through a humourless laugh. 


“Go get yer man.” She winked. 


“Stop. I’m not about to pounce on him, we’re friends. I know what you’re saying about Frank but that isn’t an excuse for me to jump into bed with Jamie.” 


“Aye, tis.” She joked. 


“You’re a bad influence, Geillis Duncan!” I chuckled. 


“So, he invited me to his Uncle’s wedding anniversary…” 


“Och, aye?” 


“But I’m not sure.” I sighed and pulled my cup to my lips, drinking the last of my coffee. 

“And why no’?! Claire, Frank is in New York, aye? Just go! Have fun! Ye’re goin’ on aboot him bein yer friend, then friends go tae these types of things.” Again, wise old Geillis.


“I suppose you’re right.” I nodded. 


“S’pose I am, Aye.” She winked. 


I shook my head and gave her a warm smile. 


“Listen, Beauchamp! I gotta go. But dinna be worryin’ aboot Frank, or Jamie. Just do whatever is right fer ye. I’m here fer ye, ye ken that?” 


“I do, thank you. Love you, G.” I nodded. 


“Love ye too, ye wee minx. Now piss off and get laid.” She chuckled. 




“Alreet, alreet! Bye.” She blew me a kiss and I waved and blew one back and then the phone call ended and I was staring at an empty screen with so many thoughts in my head that I couldn’t even begin to try and face. 




I made my way over to the Fraser’s the next day, I felt like I was in a deja vu with the feelings of anxiety building in my stomach and the thought of facing Jamie. Christ . Why did it have to be like this? The closer I got to him the harder it was becoming to see him everyday. 


I want him, but I can’t. 


Finding all of my inner strength I forced myself out of the car, flattened down my navy blouse and pushed my stray curls out of my face, I made my way to the house and let myself in. 


“Hello?” I shouted from the hallway. 


“Aye, in here,” Jamie shouted back and popped his head around the kitchen door frame. 


I smiled warmly at him and made my way to greet him. 


“Hello, Sassenach.” He offered me a pearly white smile and I found my usual seat at the table. 


“How are you? And Fergus?” I said, clearing my throat. 


“Och, we’re good. And ye?” He rubbed the back on his neck nervously. 


“Fine.” I said, softly. 


“I actually took the day off, Sassenach. I'm sorry I didnae tell ye, I have to go and get the stuff in preparation fer the anniversary tomorrow.” He shrugged his shoulders and pulled a chair out in front of me. 


“Oh alright. So should I stay here with Fergus then?” 


“Ah, no. I was plannin’ on takin’ him wi’ me.” He smiled sheepishly. 


“I see, and you didn’t think to call me to say you didn’t need me?” I raised my brow and leaned back in my chair. 


“Weel, I thought…mebbe ye would come wi’ us?” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his hand against his forehead to remove the small beads of sweat forming. 


“What? Why?” I furrowed my brows. 


“I just…dinna ken, if I’m honest, Sassenach. I guess I wanted tae see ye, spend time wi’ ye.” He looked down at his hands and rubbed his palms together, he was clearly nervous. 


“Oh. You do?”


“Aye, of course.” 


“Well, I suppose we are friends, so yes I will come with you, why not.” I smiled at him.


“That’s great, I’ll just go get Fergus from upstairs.” He stood up from his chair and gently pushed it under the table before turning on his heel and heading out of the kitchen. 




“It’s so boring going food shopping.” Fergus groaned as we walked into the grocery shop. 


“Stop yer bletherin’ Son.” Jamie tutted at Fergus. 


“If you are good I will buy you some sweets, alright?” I turned to Fergus and raised a brow. 


“Hmm…you got yourself a deal.” He smirked and held his hand out for me to shake, I took it and gently shook and we both nodded at each other and continued to make our way through the store. 


Jamie was putting numerous things into the trolley. I wasn’t even paying attention, Fergus and I were playing eye-spy. 


“Eye-spy with my little eye something beginning with….S.” 


“Strawberries.” I answered in confidence. 


“Ahh! How did you get that so fast, bear?” Fergus scoffed and I gently chuckled at his frustration with me. 


“Alright, my turn. Eye-spy with my little eye, something beginning with J.” I raised a brow and Fergus tapped his finger against his chin as he scanned the aisle we were down. 








“Try again…”




“Wrong again.” I laughed. 


“I don’t know, bear, you’re too good.” He sighed in defeat. 


“Jamie.” I said pointing to Jamie in front of us. He turned his head and gently chuckled at us. 


“Oh bear! That’s not fair!” Fergus exclaimed.


“And why not?” I shrugged.


“Because it’s supposed to be items, not people.” He groaned. 


“Well your father was in front of me, he was all I could see.” I held my hands in front of me in defense. 


“Good one...” Fergus rolled his eyes. 


We continued along the aisle and a small old lady with white hair and pink cheeks stopped us on our journey, she gently touched Jamie’s arm and looked over at the three of us. 


“I just thought I would say, you are a beautiful family.” She placed her free hand over her chest in awe. 


I opened my mouth to speak, to correct her actually, but before I could Jamie cut in. 


“Aye, I’m verra proud. Thank ye.” He smiled warmly at the old lady and patted her arm gently. I politely nodded and smiled at the lady and when she was out of sight I looked at Jamie in shock. 


“Close yer mouth, Claire.” He winked. 


“We will discuss this later.” I muttered.




Once we returned back to Jamie’s house I helped him unload all of the food and alcohol ready for tomorrow’s event. Fergus had disappeared upstairs to his room so I took my opportunity to say something about our earlier encounter at the store. 


“Jamie?” I cleared my throat. 


“Aye?” He nodded, turning his back slightly to reach into the cupboard. 


“What was that?” 


“Hmm? What was what?” He brushed it off as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. He knew exactly what.


“Earlier? In the store…with the lady.” I shook my head and walked over to him, standing before him I folded my arms across my chest and wiggled my brows. 


“Och, ‘twas nothin’ just didnae wanna correct the lady.” He shrugged. 


“But why not?” I quizzed. 


“Dinna ken, I like the idea of family so…I just didnae tell her.” He raised his own brows and shook his head. “I’m sorry Claire, ‘twas wrong, I s’pose.” 


“You suppose?” I titled my head. 


“Aye, sorry lass.”


Lass, stop calling me lass.


I sighed and stepped away from him. “Alright.” 


“Listen, I’ve got to set up the garden for tomorrow, do ye fancy helping me?” He grinned like a Cheshire Cat. 


How could I ever say no to that face?


“Come on then, Fraser.”


Chapter Text



Jamie and I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through all of the stuff for the anniversary tomorrow. He had gone all out for his Godfather and Aunt. From balloons, to banners, to garden lanterns. He truly was a romantic. 


I had stopped half-way through setting up the chairs in the garden to make Fergus some dinner while Jamie tackled putting the gazebo up. 


I washed up Fergus’ dishes and sent him up to get changed for bed, and flicked on the kettle and made Jamie and I a cup of tea. 


I made my way back through to the garden with the mugs, I stopped momentarily to take him in and watch him hard at work as he was pinning the gazebo into the ground. He was crouched down, deep in concentration and I sighed as I watched him. 


He was beautiful. He was wonderful, in every way and it pained me terribly how I couldn’t freely go over to him, embrace him, and press my lips against his rough stubble. 


He cleared his throat and brought me out of my daydream. “Miles away there, Sassenach.” His lip curled into a smile and it made my heart leap in my chest. 


“Yes, sorry. Just thinking about how beautiful the garden will look once it’s all finished.” I stepped out of the door and made my way over to him, I knelt beside him and passed him his tea. 


His textured fingers gingerly touched mine in the transfer. I felt my breath hitch at the back of my throat at the intensity of the connection from just a mere brushing of fingers. 


“Thank ye.” He smiled at me and rose to his feet, I stayed crouching for a second until Jamie held his hand out for me to take, I accepted and slipped my small hand into his exceptionally large one. I pulled away from his grip as soon as I was on my feet, electricity running through my body and into my veins. 


“So, what’s next?” I smiled softly at him gently blowing on the hot liquid and took a small sip. 


“Just the wee lights now, if ye dinna mind holdin’ the string up fer me while I put them up?” 


“I don’t mind.” I said. 


Jamie nodded and took a sip of his own tea. 




“Ye’ll have tae hold it higher, Sassenach.” Jamie said, standing on top of the table reaching above him to connect the lights to the top of the gazebo, as he stretched the hem of his shirt rose up and I had a spectacular view of his tight and hard abdomen. 


Christ, I’m drooling.


“I can’t go any higher, Jamie! I’m on my tippy toes!” I groaned. 


“Get on the table then, aye?” He looked down at me and attempted a wink, he looked like a sleepy owl. I chuckled. 


“No, I’m not climbing up there.” I protested. 


“Fine, I’ll have tae lift ye then.” He feigned a sigh but I knew he was loving this. 


He climbed off the table, jumping down and landing firmly on his feet.


Fuck, he really is the hulk or some exotic strong marvel character. 


“C’mere, Sassenach.” He purred against my ear. 


Is it possible for your heart to literally be in your throat? Because mine definitely is right now. 


“What?” I half whispered. 


“Get on my shoulders.” He said, bending down in front of me and patting my thighs. 


“Jamie, don’t be so ridiculous, I’m too heavy!” I argued and folded my arms firmly across my chest. 


“Oh dinna be sae silly, ye weigh naught. I could pick ye up with my wee baby finger, now get on.” He retorted and patted his shoulders. 


“Fine! But if you drop me because I’m too big then I’ll…” I huffed. “Well, I don’t know but just don’t drop me!” I warned and Jamie softly chuckled. 


“Sassenach, ye ken I’d never let ye go.” He meant that in more ways than one but I chose to push that thought aside and straddle his shoulders. 


Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph.


I placed my legs on either side of his head, his warm hands trailed from my knee to the tops of my thighs he squoze me softly, digging his fingers into my flesh but not enough to hurt, before he rose to his feet. 


My hands clung to his arms as he got himself in a comfortable position. 


“Ye alright?” He said, trying to look up at me but his head collided with my pubic bone, my vagina was literally on his head. 




“Uh, yes, I’m fine.” I let out a shaky breath and leaned over to grab hold of the dangling lights, carefully Jamie shuffled forward and brought me closer so I could attach the lights. 


He then moved to each corner of the gazebo as I placed the lights all around it. 


Once we were done he bent his legs, moved his hands from my thighs up to my waist, and pulled me down in front of him. I landed on my feet and blushed slightly. His eyes burned a gaze into my own, I then realised he hadn’t let go of my waist. 


“They look good.” I said, clearing my throat and looking around at the lights. 


“Aye, they do.” Jamie nodded but his gaze never left my face, I felt intimidated by his stare. Not in a bad way, of course, more of a ‘please don’t look at me like that because I will rip your clothes off’ kind of way. 


“Anything else to do?” I smiled at him and took a step back so his hands fell from my waist. 


“Och, nae. We’re good ‘till tomorrow mornin’ thank ye, Claire.” He stepped closer and bent his head, I closed my eyes in preparation for him to kiss me, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stop myself from returning his kiss. But, he didn’t. He brushed his lips against my cheek, his stubble felt rough against my skin as he softly pressed his hot lips there, which was now burning in the wake of his touch. He moved his hand to cup the swell of my hip, I sucked in a breath and he moved his lips to my ear. 





The next morning I woke up early, I had barely slept the night before. I was tossing and turning in my bed, getting up, laying down, then up again. It was a never-ending circle. It wasn’t that I was missing Frank, at all. It was more the fact that I wasn’t used to being in the house on my own, even though I wasn’t overly happy to be in Frank’s presence, at least I wasn’t alone. 


I always sleep fretfully when I am alone. Not just that, thoughts of a Scot swarmed my mind, blurred my vision and scorched my soul. 


No matter what I do, he’s always there, in my mind, in my heart.


I forced myself up and out of bed, I yawned and stretched my body as I slipped my cold feet into my warm fuzzy grey slippers. Making my way down to the kitchen, I pulled out my phone and texted my dear husband.


CR: Hello, my darling. I hope New York is treating you well. I’m going out tonight with Joe and Gail. Call me tomorrow? Miss you. 


I lied to him. I was a liar. None of that was true, I didn’t even want to text him in the first place. 


But, we have to keep up appearances.


Pouring myself a hot cup of coffee, I settled down at the kitchen table and just as I was about to call Joe, Jamie’s name came up. 


“Hello?” I said, furrowing my brows and flicking my wrist to look at my watch. 7am.


“Sassenach,” his husky voice instantly made my stomach tighten and my heart flutter. 


“Are you alright? It’s 7am.” I half laughed.


“Aye, I’m fine. Just wanted tae see if ye wanted to pop over for breakfast and mebbe get ready here wi’ us, for the party ye ken?” He sounded shy. 


“Oh,” I said, taken aback. 


“I understand if ye dinna...“


“No! No! I’ll be there.. thank you, Jamie.” I smiled like an idiot. 


“I’ll see ye soon, mo nighean donn.”


“Jamie!” I said before he put the phone down. 




“You really are going to have to tell me all this Gaelic,” I chuckled. 


“Aye, soon, verra soon.” 




The doorbell rang which indicated that Murtagh and Jocasta had arrived. 


I was in Jamie’s room, again. Getting ready and putting the last of my make-up on. I gingerly pushed a stray tendril out of my eye and smoothed out my cocktail dress, plain white with flowers on it. It swooped at the neck line showing a bit of cleavage and the swell of my breasts that felt far too pushed up, but I kind of liked how I looked and how comfortable I felt in this dress. 


Frank would never allow me out of the house in such a dress, he’d tell me I look ridiculous and unrespectful. 


And how could a professor's wife look anything but respectful?


Happy with how I was looking, I left Jamie’s room and made my way downstairs. Murtagh and Jo were wrapped in each other’s embrace in the kitchen, Jamie in front chattering to them. The children were running wild and chasing each other in circles. 


The sight warmed my heart, a happy loving family. My heart ached to be part of it, I suppose, just for today I could pretend that I was. 


Jamie spotted me out of the corner of his eye and ushered me through to the kitchen by motioning with his hand. 


“Claire,” he said, softly. I watched as he gulped and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. 


“Hello.” I smiled and turned to Murtagh and Jo. 


“Blessed bride, dear! It’s sae good t’see ye once again. We’re verra happy ye could come.” Jo placed her hands over mine and gave me a gentle squeeze. I smiled at her and saw nothing but kindness behind her grey-blue eyes. 


“Thank you for having me.” I smiled and Murtagh stepped in front of Jo and pulled me into his tight embrace. 


“Good t’see ye, lassie.” He said as he pulled back from me. 


“Aye, who wants a drink?” Jamie said, slapping his palms together and rubbing profusely. 


We all nodded and made our way through to the garden. 


The sight took my breath away; Jamie had added a beautiful array of flowers and potted plants all around the gazebo, the lights were a warm white and they started to glow as night began. 


The chairs had ribbons on them and the gazebo had decorations dangling from the top. 


I stopped in my tracks to take it all in. 


“I ken it’s a bit much, but I just wanted it tae be perfect fer them.” Jamie’s soft voice came from behind me and I felt tears pooling in my eyes. 


“It’s beautiful, Jamie.” I whispered and he gently placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a soft squeeze. 


We all sat around and chatted while having a glass of champagne, the kids were bouncing around the garden playing hide and seek, giggling and high from sugar after they ate dozens of cupcakes and sweets. 


I was sitting at the table with Jo and Murtagh when Jamie stood up and cleared his throat. 


“What are ye doin’ lad?” Murtagh questioned, furrowing his brows. 


“Och, just wanted to say a few wee things about my ol’ Aunt and Godfather.” He quirked his brow. 


“Go on.” Jo encouraged him. 


“Aye. Weel, ye ken how much I love the both of ye. Ye’re so dear tae me, and Fergus. Ye both have become like my parents. After losing my Mam and Da I felt like I had nothin’ left. No mother figure, no father figure. But I was proved wrong, by the both of ye. I ken my parents would be sae grateful to ye fer looking out fer me, and treating me as yer son.” His eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t stop staring at this beautiful man. 


“And sae, I would like tae read a wee poem that my father read fer my mam at their wedding.” He cleared his throat and dived into the pocket of his jacket, retrieving a small piece of paper. 


   Come and let us live my Dear,

       Let us love and never fear,

        What the sourest Fathers say:

       Brightest Sol that dies today

      Lives again as blithe tomorrow,

      But if we dark sons of sorrow          

      Set; o then, how long a Night

       Shuts the Eyes of our short light!

       Then let amorous kisses dwell 

       On our lips, begin to tell

       A Thousand, and a Hundred, score                                  

     An Hundred, and a Thousand more,

     Till another Thousand smother

     That, and that wipe off another.                                                     Thus at last when we have numb'red

    Many a Thousand, many a Hundred;

     We'll confound the reckoning quite,

     And lose ourselves in wild delight:

     While our joys so multiply,

     As shall mock the envious eye.”


The tears were pouring down my cheeks, his eyes never left mine the whole time he spoke and I was completely mesmerised by him at this moment. I felt like we were the only two people in this world, he was drawing me in with every word, every glance. 


My heart was his. My soul was his. My body was his. 


“Happy Anniversary.” Jamie cleared his throat, picked up his glass and raised it to Murtagh and Jo. We all clinked our glasses together and wiped the tears from our eyes. 




Stevie Wonder, I just called to say I love you.


Murtagh twirled Jocasta and pulled her into his arms as they began swaying to the music. 

I caught Jamie’s eye from the table and took a sip from my champagne, I wasn’t drunk but I wasn’t sober. I felt the buzz of the alcohol flowing through my veins.


Jamie stood up and held his hand out to me. “Dance wi’ me?” He whispered and I nodded and slipped my palm into his. 


He twirled me around and wrapped his whole arm around my waist, his other hand grasped my own and I placed my hand on his shoulder. 


I just called, to say, I love you…I just called, to say how much I care...”


The music buzzed around us and the lyrics made me feel almost dizzy. We didn’t talk, we silently swayed in each other’s arms. Savouring the closeness, the contented feeling of being in one another’s presence. I felt like I was living a dream and I was enjoying every damn second of it. 


Jamie’s thumb was pressing against my side and he gently stroked against the fabric of my dress. I sighed and pulled him closer, resting my head on his shoulder and his on mine. I fluttered my eyes closed. Jamie’s stubbled chin was harsh against the side of my neck, but I didn’t care. It was the most amazing feeling, his soft lips found my pulse point where he gingerly brushed them against it, softly caressing my skin with his plump mouth.


Jamie pulled away from me as the song finished, I couldn’t meet his eye, he pulled my chin up to meet his gaze and smiled warmly at me. “Another drink?” 


“Yes, please.” I nodded. 




“Goodnight, Claire. Twas verra lovely t’see ye.” Murtagh and Jo hugged me and kissed my cheek and then the same for Jamie and thanked him for a beautiful anniversary party. 


After they had left, Jamie scooped Fergus up, he had gotten exhausted not so long ago and passed out on the couch. He walked past me with Fergus’ small frame in his strong arms. 


“Wait here, I’ll only be a wee moment.” I nodded in response to his request. 


A long moment passed and Jamie descended the stairs, he smiled warmly and headed into the lounge. 


“Dram?” He said, turning to face me. 


“Uhm… I think I’ve had enough, I should probably head home.” I sighed, I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to go back to my cold and empty house, a house I shared with a man I didn’t love. 


“Just one drink, Claire?” He whispered, his eyes were gleaming and before I could stop myself I nodded in agreement. 


He poured the amber liquid into the tumblers and handed me mine. 


“Thank you.” I whispered. 


“Ye look amazing, Claire.” He sighed and darted his tongue out to wet his lips, all the while his eyes raked my entire body. 


I looked down at myself and then back up to him. 


“You don’t look so bad yourself, Fraser.” I teased. He wore grey suit pants and a white shirt and grey tie. He looked absolutely beautiful, like he was made entirely by God.


He blushed softly and took a sip from his tumbler. We both stood up facing each other but at an appropriate distance. Until he stepped forward. 


“Claire,” his voice barely a whisper. 


“Yes?” I whispered back, he was now facing me, his tall frame hovering over my petite one. 


“I…” he sighed and shook his head. 


“I verra much enjoyed having ye here, wi’ my family. Thank ye fer coming.” He smiled and brought his hand to cup my cheek. 


“Me too, they’re wonderful.” I smiled back, my gaze landed on his pink lips and he was now tracing his tongue across his bottom lip. 


I leaned forward and brushed my nose against his, he let out a contented sigh and moved his hand to cup my neck.


I brought my own hand up to tangle in the back of his curls, I gently lowered his head for our lips to meet.


I pressed my mouth to his and he welcomed my lips fully, he moved his hand from my neck, trailed it down my arm and found my hip. He caressed and kneaded my hips and sides, his tongue licking against my bottom lip begging for entrance. I placed my hands flat against his chest as he continued kissing me hard. I pulled away just to catch my breath, both of our chests were heaving as we stood staring into each other’s eyes. 


“Dance with me?” I asked quietly.


“I would love tae, Sassenach.”

Chapter Text



Jamie pulled away from my embrace while he stepped aside to turn on the speaker. The first song that came on was;


‘I can’t help falling in love with you’


Of course, could it be any more soap opera right now?


We stood facing one another momentarily, neither of us saying a word. Just merely taking in sight of each other. Jamie in all his beauty, his face softened and his lip curled into a small smile when the lyrics ‘But I can’t help, falling in love, with you.’ He stepped in front of me then and held his hand out to me. I slipped my small and slightly clammy palm into his and closed the gap between us. 


Jamie’s hand sat firmly on the swell of my hip, his other hand cradled mine. My arm wound around his neck and I softly cupped the back of his head. 


We started at a slow pace, gingerly swaying from side to side. Our eyes never left each other’s. Amber meeting Ocean Blue.


A million thoughts ran through both our minds, we didn’t need to say a word to know what the other was thinking. 


How can this be? Do you love me as I do you? Can we really do this? Will we be alright?


Neither one of us had the answers to any of those questions but we didn’t need to address them now, not yet anyway. Tonight was about living in the moment. 


And at this moment in time, there was only Jamie and I in this whole entire world, nothing else mattered or existed right now. 


The same thought was uppermost in both our minds. Do we let our emotions take over and give ourselves to one another? 


I want him . He wants me . There is no doubt about it. 


As the music came to an end we slowed down our movement and soon came to a stop. I pulled out of Jamie’s embrace with a soft smile. I gently pushed myself past him and turned to the speaker, I turned it off and looked back to see Jamie staring at me with wonder. 


I made my way back over to him and slipped my palm into his hand, gently tugging down, I started to walk out of the lounge, pulling him with me. 


“Claire...” He said, his face full of uncertainty.


I turned around to him, bringing my free hand up to his face. I placed my forefinger over his lips. “Shh,” I smiled and turned back to walking towards the stairs. 


He obliged and followed slowly behind me. As we neared the top of the landing my breathing began to change and my heart was beating ten to the dozen in my chest. 


As I guided him to his bedroom he quickly discarded his shoes at the door and chucked them to the side. 


I let his hand go free and walked into the centre of the room, turning back to him. I stood frozen, staring at him. 


His chest was heaving up and down at a faster pace than usual, in the dull light of the room I could just make out the darkness of his lust filled eyes.


He didn’t speak, neither did I. Padding my feet across the floor I approached the bed and gently sat down at the edge. Jamie stood still watching my every move, I leaned back on my hands and lifted my leg in the air and placed it across my other. I titled my head and gave him a knowing look. 


He swallowed and took a small step forward, he brought his hands up to the collar of his shirt, he unclasped the first few buttons and removed his tie, discarding it in the corner of the bedroom. 


He took another step forward and continued to unbutton his shirt, my heart was pounding with every step he took. The pulsating feeling between my legs grew evermore. A feeling I was becoming quite accustomed to as of recently, all down to a certain Fraser. 


He darted his tongue out to wet his lips and I couldn’t help but pull my own lip between my teeth at the very sight of him. He removed his shirt, throwing it to the side, where it joined his tie on the floor, all the while his gaze burned into me. 


“Do you really want this, Claire?” His voice was barely a whisper and yet it filled the whole room. 


“Yes, I do.” I said, and I had never been more sure of anything else in my life. 


He sighed deep within his chest, but it was more like a sigh of relief. I uncrossed my legs and pushed myself off the bed and stood before him. 


“I want you, all of you.” I placed my hand against his chest, his skin was burning to the touch and my hand felt frozen in comparison. 


“Claire, I…canna take ye. Not all of ye, not while ye’re no’ mine tae take.” This time, he sighed in regret. 


“I am yours, Jamie.” I whispered and bent my head to brush my lips against his clavicle. He said nothing, instead he moved his hands to my lower back and slowly moved upwards to find the zipper of my dress. 


He gingerly pulled the zipper down my back until it stopped at the top of my tailbone. Moving his hands from around my back he gently removed the dress from my shoulders and let it fall until it pooled around my feet. I stepped forward and kicked the dress to the side. I now stood in front of him in nothing but a plain white lace bra and panties to match, at least this time I had chosen better.


Jamie groaned as he took in my body, licking his lips as he brought his hand up to cup my breast, causing me to take in a sharp breath when he pressed his thumb against my nipple over the fabric of my bra. 


He hasn’t even touched my skin and I was already convulsing. 


I swallowed harshly and looked down to his suit pants, his erection straining against the material, begging to be set free. 


I gingerly traced my finger across the waist of his trousers, I moved my fingers down to the button and in one swift movement, unclasped and unzipped his fly. 


I pulled his pants down to his feet where he quickly stepped out of them and I moved them over to the rest of the clothes discarded on the floor. I slowly dragged my hand over his bare thigh and moved to the hem of his boxers, he flinched ever so slightly when I got further and further to his pulsating cock. 


Without warning, I cupped him tight over the soft material of his underwear, he sucked in a sharp breath and then let out a shaky groan. 


“I think it’s time we sorted this out, don’t you?” I teased, brushing my nose against his stubbled jaw. 


“Uh-,” he moaned as I hooked my finger in the top of the waistband. I pulled down the boxers and let his throbbing erection free. It sprang free and stood very much firmly. I took a step back as I stared down at him. 


God, he was huge.


 I licked my lips and watched as it twitched when I brought my thumb up to swipe over the tip, the small drops of pre-come pooled around his end. And I gently rubbed in circles. 


“A Dhia! ” He exclaimed, I took him firmly in my hand and he fluttered his eyes shut and threw his head back in complete desire. 


I started off slow, I wrapped my hand firmly around his length and slowly pumped up and down, caressing my thumb over his tip with each stroke. 


He gripped onto my hips for leverage and creased his forehead in utter pleasure. “Christ, Claire. Dinna stop.” His breathing was shallow and his voice was deep.


“Faster?” I whispered against his throat. 


He nodded in response and I quickly moved up my speed, pumping him fast against my hand, pulling the skin back and up again over his tip. The pre-come lubricated his shaft which made it easier for me to move faster. 


I had never felt this turned on in my life, not even when he touched me last week. Who knew I would be able to get off watching a man take his pleasure from me? 


“Claire!” He said between gritted teeth. “Lass, I’m gonna come and I canna do that wi’out touchin’ ye first. Get on the bed and take yer knickers off.” He growled in my ear and I pulled away from his cock to turn myself around, I bent over slightly to take my underwear off and I heard him groan in response.


He moved behind me and gripped my arse tight. “Fuck, how easy it would be fer me tae take ye right now. This round arse, god ye make me mad.” He said, bending over and whispering in my ear. 


“So do it.” I turned and looked at him over my shoulder with a suggestive expression on my face and he moaned in response. 


“Just lay on the bed and open yer legs fer me, that’s a good lass.” I did as he asked and crawled slowly onto the bed, I spun myself around and lay on my back.


Jamie crawled over me and began to trail soft kisses up my leg, over my inner thigh and landed firmly on my opening. I jerked my hips in response and let out a deep moan.


“Jamie..” I whispered, he pulled his head up to look at me momentarily. “Is this alright, Claire?” 


“I…I, well, nobody has ever...” I said, blushing fiercely. 


“Oh god Claire, to ken I’ll be the first… Christ, I have dreamt of tastin’ ye fer sae long. I’m gonna gi’ ye what ye deserve.” He pressed his lips against my hip bone and sucked in the flesh, gently taking my skin between his teeth and biting down. It was sure to leave a red mark but I didn’t care. 


He ducked his head, kissing softly on my pubic bone he moved his way down to my opening and gently licked upwards. My chest was heaving up and down and my hands gripped tight to the sheets. 

He found my clit and gently took it between his teeth. He moved his hand down to his cock and took himself firmly in his hand, he softly stroked himself while he sucked and bit down on my swollen flesh. 


“Oh fuck!” I said, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. He slipped his tongue inside of me and I pushed my hips upwards, burying his face deeper into me. 


With his free hand, he slipped a finger inside and continued to flick his tongue over my clit. My hand moved over to my breast and I kneaded it softly, gingerly flicking my thumb over my own nipple. 


“Jamie, I’m so close,” I whispered as his finger pumped in and out of me faster. I could feel my stomach clenching and my muscles retracting with every thrust of his finger and flick of his tongue. He sucked hard and bit down onto my clit. With one hard thrust of his finger, I came with a loud shout of his name. My walls clenched around him and my body shook. “Holy shit!” I moaned. I then felt the warmth of his pleasure spurting onto my thighs. “Oh god, Oh Claire!” He groaned and threw his head back. His mouth a perfect ‘O’ shape. 


With the sound of our heavy breathing filling the room and the rise and fall of our chests. He fell, spent, next to me and placed his hand in mine. 


We stayed silent for some time, just to enjoy coming down from our orgasms. He soon pushed himself off the bed and made his way out of the door, and returned quickly with a washcloth and a towel. He wiped his come from my legs and patted me down with a towel. I could’ve cried at his kind gesture. No man has ever done that for me. 


I thanked him and pushed myself further up the bed. I pulled the duvet over my body and snuggled myself against his pillows. Jamie pulled his boxers up and climbed in next to me.


We lay facing each other for some time, Jamie drawing lazy circles against my skin making me feel drowsy. 


“Sleep, mo nighean donn.”  


“Will you tell me what that means?” I mumbled in my sleepy tone. 


“My brown haired lass.” He chuckled softly. 


“I always thought it was a rather dull colour, brown.” I whispered. 


“Nae. No’ dull at all. Beautiful, Sorcha.


“And that one means?” I sighed in fulfilment. 


“It’s yer name, Claire. It also means Light .” He swiped his thumb against my bottom lip.


“That’s lovely, Jamie.” 


He bent his head down and pulled me into a slow and tender kiss. I gently rubbed my fingers against his stubble and brushed my nose against his.


“Come here and sleep, Sassenach.” He lifted his arm and I snuggled down into his chest, breathing deeply I took in his usual scent of vanilla and fell into a satisfied and contented sleep. 

Chapter Text

I woke up with the familiar scent of Jamie swarming my nostrils.
In the early hours of the morning, he had a faint whiff of his usual vanilla but also sweat, which was actually quite a pleasant smell when mixed with his natural scent.

He was still asleep when I awoke. I was wrapped up in his arms, both of us still completely naked and there was something so beautiful and calming about skin to skin.

I had admired his beauty many times, but this time I truly appreciated him. He looked so peaceful when he slept, his breathing was shallow and he made small noises from the back of his throat as he exhaled. I had noticed before that he smiled in his sleep, and that he did it again when I stroked the pink of his cheek, feeling my own mouth forming a smile.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his abdomen and squeezed him against me, savouring the feeling of being in his arms. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake and subconsciously pulled me flush against him. I let out a contented sigh and snuggled my head further into the crook of his neck.

I softly brushed my lips against his beating pulse, he stirred again and released a low moan from deep within his chest.

His eyes fluttered open and he sucked in a sharp breath as he roused to wakefulness.

“Sassenach,” he croaked.

A small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth and he rubbed his cheek against my forehead.

“Good morning.” I whispered and placed a soft kiss on his stubbled jaw.

“Hmm, ‘tis.” He let out a soft chuckle and pressed his wet lips to my temple.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Better than ever, mo ghraidh. And ye?”

“Me too,” I nodded against his neck.

“What time is it?” He grumbled under his breath.

“It’s 6:30.”

“Christ! What the devil are ye doin’ awake at 6:30am on a Saturday?” Jamie furrowed his brow and let out a soft laugh.

“Well I’m an early bird and I was worried about Fergus waking up.”

“Dinna fash he’ll sleep a wee bit longer, we have time.” He said, bringing his hand up to cup my jaw and rub his thumb against my skin.

“Oh yeah? Time for what?” I raised a brow in a suggestive manner, lips forming a sly smile.

“Och, whatever ye like.” He smirked and bent his head down to kiss me. I smiled as he kissed me softly and he slowly deepened the kiss and traced his tongue against my bottom lip. I opened my mouth fully to let him in and our tongues met in a dance.

Breathing heavily, we pulled back slowly and stared into each other’s eyes.

“I might have a shower.” I blurted out.

Jamie’s mouth turned into a full smile and he started giggling at me.

“What?” I quizzed.

“A shower sounds like a verra fine idea, Sassenach.” He teased.

“Well, Fraser, you’ll just have to wait your turn, won’t you?” I raised my brow and made an attempt at getting myself free from his grip, he only held onto me tighter.

“Dinna go just yet…” he pursed his bottom lip and pretended to sulk like a puppy dog.

“Don’t give me that look!”

“What look?” He asked, innocently.

“The look that pulls on my heart strings. You know what you’re doing!” I shook my head, laughing gently.

“Aye, I do, now about this shower…” he raised a brow suggestively.

“What about it? I’m going to have a shower, when I come out you can have yours.” I smiled sweetly, knowing full well that I was teasing him.

I managed to pry myself away from his grasp, clasping the bed sheet to my chest to cover myself somewhat. Jamie lay watching me with his arm behind his head and a smug look across his face.

Padding my feet through the bedroom to the door, Jamie’s eyes never left mine. I thought I would continue the teasing and dropped the bed sheet completely to the floor so it pooled around my ankles, leaving Jamie with a perfect view of my arse and side boob.

“Christ!” He hissed.

I chuckled, continuing my way to the bathroom, adding an extra sway to my hips. Once I reached the bathroom I made my way over to the shower and turned it on to the correct temperature.
I stepped into the warm water and felt my skin break into tiny goosebumps with the heat of the water hitting my skin. I sighed contently and titled my head back letting the water soak my curls.

I heard the door shut and snapped my head in the direction of the noise, Jamie was standing there in all his glory. I sucked in a breath at the sight of him.

He made his way over to the shower and tried to step in, I placed my palm against his chest and gently pushed him back. “I don’t think so, Fraser.” I winked.

He sighed deeply and took a step back from the shower, he pouted and folded his arms across his chest like a child.

“Fine then. I’ll just stand here and watch.” He shrugged.

“Jamie!” I scolded.

“What? Ye dinna say I couldna watch, as I recall all ye said was we had tae take separate showers.”

I shook my head, well he wasn’t wrong.

“Fine.” I said.

Two can play this game .

I grabbed the bottle of vanilla shower gel that was sitting on the side, squeezed a large amount into my palm and placed the bottle back into its original spot. I brought my soap filled hand up to my neck and rubbed gently.

Jamie’s gaze was burning into my skin.

I moved my hand from my neck and down to my chest where I rubbed my hand over each breast and a soft moan fell from my mouth as I brushed over a nipple with my finger tip. I made my way between my breasts and down my stomach, where I rubbed around my navel and the top of my pubic bone. “Ahh,” I sighed.

“Claire...” Jamie gulped, his eyes never leaving my wandering hands.

“Hmm?” I looked at him through hazy eyes.

“What- what’re ye doin?” His voice was shaky and thick with want.

“I’m washing myself.” I said, moving my hand down to my now throbbing centre and ‘washing’ the outside of my heat. I placed my free hand against the wall and leaned my head back to rest on the tiled wall as my hand caressed in slow circles over my folds.

“Jesus.” Jamie groaned.

I continued my work and caressed my inner thighs, the whole time I panted and moaned.

Fuck, I was seriously turning myself on.

“Jamie…” I breathed out heavily as I slipped my own finger inside of myself.

“Fuck this!” He hissed and barged into the shower. He ripped my hand from my heat and pushed me against the wall, his hand on my throat. “I’m jealous of yer hand, Claire.” He moaned and pressed his mouth hard against mine, I kissed him back with hunger and need.

He pulled back and took my hand in his, guiding me out of the shower, he placed my hand onto the sink.

He stood behind me and pressed himself against my back, I could feel his cock hard and twitching against my arse.

Oh Lord, Jesus.

He pulled my soaking wet curls to one side and kissed my bare neck, his arm came around me and he roughly cupped my breast and rolled my nipple between thumb and finger. I moaned in response.

“Look,” he panted in my ear.

“What?” I said through a shaky breath.

“Look in the mirror, Claire. Watch what my hand does tae ye. My hand.” He growled. I lifted my gaze up and looked at the two of us in the mirror. Jamie attached his lips back on to the side of my throat and gently sucked the sensitive skin there. He trailed his hand down my stomach and down to my slick, pulsating folds. He circled gently, my breathing began to quicken with every flick.

“Oh,” I moaned as he sunk his teeth into my flesh. His hand worked faster and rubbed in smooth circular motions, without warning he slipped his finger inside and pumped hard in and out.

“Shit!” I bit down hard on my bottom lip.

Jamie laughed in response, he pushed his hard cock against my arse and inserted another finger inside of me. I was putty in his hands.

“Look at what ye do tae me, mo nighean donn. Look at what I do tae ye.” He whispered in my ear as his pace quickened and I felt the familiar feeling building in my stomach.

“I want ye tae watch yerself as I make ye come, Claire. Tae see exactly how good we make each other feel.” He hummed against my neck and darted his tongue out to lick the swollen flesh there.

“God I wish I could be inside ye,” he moaned and took his cock firmly in his hand, he pumped himself against my arse.

“I want you inside me.” I moaned louder as my orgasm was approaching.

“No, Claire. No’ yet.” He bit down on my shoulder and thrust his fingers hard inside me, I let out a strangled sob as my orgasm started washing over me.

“Oh! Jamie! God, yes!” I nearly screamed but I pulled my lip between my teeth to stop myself.

“Gahhh,” Jamie panted and I felt the familiar warmth spurting on my arse and running down my thighs.

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ.” I said, my chest heaving up and down, I collapsed forward onto the sink.

“My thoughts exactly,” Jamie laughed.


I ended up needing another shower but this time I let him in, he washed me and I washed him. We kissed tenderly and held each other as the water pelted down on our naked bodies.

We made our way downstairs and I started to make a coffee for myself and Jamie. It was definitely needed this morning.

I reflected on the last 24 hours, I had never felt happier in my life. That’s all down to Jamie, Fergus and their family. I just knew I was meant to be part of it. I knew I fit in so well, that I did belong, and I thought back to all the dreadful dinners and events I attended with Frank and his boss. A fish out of water, completely out of place. Somewhere I didn’t belong.

Whereas with Jamie, I felt like I had somewhere, something, someone. A place to call home, a child whom we both absolutely adored and loved.

“Earth tae Claire??” Jamie brought me from my deep thoughts by waving his palm in front of my face.

“Oh yes. Sorry, miles away.” I laughed nervously.

“Aye, I can see. Are ye alright?” His voice filled with concern, his brows locked together.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I nodded.

“Listen, Claire, if ye are regretting last night and this mornin’ then I’m truly sae sorry, I-“

I cut him off with my lips against his. I wrapped my arms around his torso and held him tight.

“I don’t regret it, Jamie.” I whispered against his jaw.

He sighed in relief and squeezed me tight, gently tracing small circles across my back.

“Stay the day wi’ us?” He had a pleading look on his face and I smiled and softly nodded my head.

“Good morning you two,” Fergus stood leaning against the door, Jamie and I jumped out of each other’s embrace.

“What were you doing?” Fergus questioned, titling his head.

“What do you mean?” I cleared my throat and let out a nervous laugh.

“I came down and you were hugging.” He shrugged.

“Och, aye, weel…um…Claire was just a bit upset, that's all, dinna fash laddie.” Jamie ruffled Fergus’ hair.

“Oh bear….what is it?” Fergus’ face softened.

“Oh, well, it’s just..-“ I started.

“Claire’s grandmother’s cat died.” Jamie blurted out.

I closed my eyes and sighed before opening them again and shooting Jamie a death stare.

“I’m so sorry, bear.” Fergus wrapped his little arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.

He is the sweetest boy.

“I’m fine, thank you, soldier.” I half smiled, trying to make myself look as sad as possible.

“What was his name?” Fergus asked.

“Oh,” I looked around the kitchen and scanned the room quickly. “Coffee. His name was Coffee. He was brown.” I chuckled nervously.

Jamie looked at me and furrowed his brows and mouthed ‘coffee’?
I shook my head and gave him the middle finger behind Fergus’ back.

“Well, bear, stay with us today. We will cheer you up.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.” I winked and kissed his cheek.

Chapter Text

We spent the rest of the day baking, watching movies and playing games. Fergus and I showed Jamie how to bake the best homemade cookies, the best in my opinion, anyway. As soon as they came from the oven, piping hot, Jamie was too impatient to wait and burnt his tongue on the gooey centre. Which resulted in Fergus and I bursting into fits of laughter.

After we had made the cookies, we sat down on the couch and watched Disney’s ‘UP.’ I was left sniffling into a kleenex and Fergus tentatively rubbing my arm for support. Jamie thought it was hilarious, mind you, he actually had a small tear of his own which I found much pleasure in teasing him over.

We then played a game of twister and Jamie and I found ourselves in a compromising position. Jamie was bent over me with his hands in front of me and my arm looped around one of his arms, it all ended with us in a heap on the floor and laughing uncontrollably.

Throughout the day, we tried to keep things casual and normal. Apart from the occasional brushing of hands or Jamie hovering his palm over my lower back, a colliding of elbows and the odd shoulder pat. The afternoon flew by and we sat down and demolished a pizza we had ordered in. Jamie pulled fergus onto his lap and the little boy curled up into his fathers arms, the sight of the two of them melted my heart and warmed me from the inside.

“Come on, bear.” Fergus said, ushering me closer to him and Jamie.

“Oh no, Fergus. I’m fine.” I nodded, but secretly I wanted nothing more than to curl up with them.

“C’mon Sassenach, ye need a friendly hug after losing yer granny’s wee cheetie.” Jamie’s lip curled into a small smirk and I softly shook my head at him, laughing silently.

“I suppose, I could actually do with a hug...” I smiled and shuffled myself closer to him, Jamie lifted his free arm that wasn’t around Fergus and placed it around my shoulder, pulling me gently to his chest, I laid my head down on his pectoral muscle and exhaled deeply in contentment.

Jamie caressed my shoulder with his fingertips and laid his chin atop my head, breathing in deeply and nuzzling my curls. He let out a low grunt, I craned my head back to look at him and he softly smiled and brushed his lips against my forehead, making my eyes flutter shut momentarily.

I sighed in deep satisfaction and the heat from Jamie’s body warmed me down to my very bones. Fergus was lost in whatever kids film he had chosen to watch now. Jamie and I were too lost in each other to even notice what Fergus was doing. I chanced a glance down at him and saw his little eyes softly closing in Jamie’s arms.

A smile instantly formed across my face, making my cheeks hurt. What a precious sight, a precious child, a precious family.
I titled my head back up to look at Jamie to find he was still staring down at me, his soft blue eyes found mine and for a moment our eyes did all the talking.

He broke his eye contact with me and shifted his glance down to my lips, he cleared his throat and darted his tongue out to lick his own pink lips.

I moved my head upwards, Jamie’s finger came under my chin and guided me towards him. I followed his lead and softly brushed my own chapped, dry lips against his impeccably smooth lips. Soft and tender, full of joy and fulfilment. Just as I was about to swipe my tongue across his bottom lip my phone rang. It made me jump and I quickly parted from Jamie. Both of us let out a nervous giggle.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and the screen lit up to tell me who was calling.

Frank Randall calling….

Jesus H Christ!

I felt my stomach go into knots and bile form at the back of my throat, I quickly removed myself from Jamie’s arms and stood up. I looked back down at him and saw his face, a mixture of hurt and anger.

“I’m…sorry.” I whispered and swiftly exited the room.

“Hello?” I said, holding the phone to my ear and taking a deep breath.

“Claire! My darling, how are you?” Frank chirped down the other end of the line.

“I…well, yes, fine. And you? How’s New York?” I said, softly and sat myself down at the kitchen table.

“Oh it is wonderful, honey. You would love it!” He exclaimed.

“Yes, I have been a time or two before. It is a rather magnificent city.” I rolled my eyes at my own treacherous behaviour.

“My darling, I have been offered a more permanent position here.” Frank feigned a saddened tone of voice.

“And what do you mean by more permanent?” I gulped, begging my shaky voice to not betray me. I noticed at the corner of my eye, Jamie was standing in the door frame, his arms folded tight across his chest and his head slumped against the frame.

“Maybe 4 days a week,” Frank coughed.

“4 days a week?!” I almost screeched.

“What the bloody hell?!” I stood up and began to pace up and down the kitchen floor.

“Yes, darling, but I promise it will be so worth it for us. This is a massive step in my career. I need you by my side, Claire.”

I was shaking my head profusely as if he could actually see me right now, all I could manage was a scoff and a sarcastic laugh. “Oh you need me, do you?” I continued pacing.

“Of course, you are my wife!” He spat.

“How many times have we had the ‘I’m your wife’ conversation, Frank? Seriously! Yes I am your wife. But that doesn’t mean I have to uproot my life! I’ve done that for you, for us once before, I can’t do it again - I won’t.” I tried my hardest to hold back the tears that were begging to be set free.

“But Claire, don’t you see it’s for the best for both of us?” I could hear him gritting his teeth through the phone.

“No, Frank, it’s better for you.”

“Listen to me, Claire. You are my life, I have nothing but you, my darling. I need you here, by my side. I always have.” His voice softened.

I scoffed again. “You think by whispering sweet nothings about how I am your ‘life’ and how bad you ‘need’ me will make me change my mind? Well, you’re sadly mistaken, Frank.”

I chanced a glance at Jamie and he had a small smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. I shot him a ‘don't you dare’ kind of look.

“Oh, do you know what Claire? I’m so done with you acting like the pitiful, hard-done-to wife! I have given you everything, what more do you want from me?” His words hit me like a tonne of bricks, a real smack in the face. Thank you.

“Fuck you!” I bellowed. Jamie’s eyes widened and he brought himself further into the kitchen, he reached for me and pressed his palm against my lower back, how crazy that his mere touch can turn my entire body to jelly and instantly soothe my soul.

“Don’t you fucking speak to me like that you ungrateful bitch!” Frank was furious at this point, I knew that if this were in person we would have ended up in a wrestling match.

“We will discuss this when - no! - IF, you are home. Goodbye, Frank.” I put the phone down the minute I breathed his name, not even giving him the chance to retaliate or make me feel any more useless than I already did.

I tried my best to hide the sob that was begging to escape my lips but as soon as Jamie put his arm around me and pulled me into him, I burst into uncontrollable sobs and whimpers. Jamie caressed my back with his hand and whispered soothing words of Gaelic into my hair.

“Dinna weep, mo ghraidh.”

“I - I’m sorry! I didn’t…mean -“ Jamie shushed me between my sobs.

“Bastard.” He cursed under his breath. I slowly pulled away from his embrace and reached for some tissues from the kitchen table to dab down my red, puffy eyes.

“Look at ye, Claire. Look wha’ he does t’ye. It makes me blind wi’ rage.” Jamie balled his fists and swallowed hard.

“It’s fine, Jamie -“

“No! ‘Tis no’! How dare he treat ye so.” His nostrils flared with his burning anger. He was seething.

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing and slumped my shoulders instead. I rubbed my palm against my forehead and sighed deeply before settling down into a kitchen chair.

“What are ye going tae do about it?” Jamie said, spinning around to face me.

“What do you mean?” I said, quietly.

“Frank! Ye canna let him treat ye like naught but the shite on his shoe!” Jamie’s voice pitched and he sighed in frustration.

“What do you want me to do, Jamie?” I snapped.

He tutted under his breath and mumbled some words in Gaelic, he then started to pace the kitchen.

“Well?” I said, raising a sarcastic brow.

“Divorce.” He said so quietly I barely heard him.

“Pardon?” Both my eyebrows now raised in astonishment.

“Divorce him!” He repeated.

I scoffed and shook my head. “You’re insane.”

“Am I?”

“Yes! You know why I can’t just divorce him!” The anger was bubbling inside of me.

“Why no’? No such thing as ‘can’t’, ye won’t.” He pointed at me.

“No, I won’t. He is my husband, Jamie!” I screeched, the tears began to roll down my cheeks.

“Aye. So ye keep on fucking saying!” His words were like poison. Each word shattered my heart.

“Well, fuck you! I’m leaving.” I pushed myself up from the table and threw my chair back under, I stormed past Jamie and just when I reached the door he spun me around and crushed himself against me. Pinning me to the wall he pressed his lips against mine, I fought back at first, pushing against his chest and moving my face away from his. He flung both of my arms above my head and pinned them with his hands against the wall.

My chest was heaving up and down and I stared into his lust filled eyes. Don’t give in, beauchamp.

He gave me a knowing smirk and pressed his mouth on mine, his lips felt like fire as he kissed me passionately. His tongue found its way into my mouth and I lost all sense of myself and completely gave into him and the intense lustful feelings.

After 5 minutes of an intense kissing session he finally released me. I shoved him back by his chest, his breathing was irregular and his lips were swollen and plump.

“Don’t -” I said, my own chest still heaving up and down like I’d done some sort of intense workout. “You -“ I walked closer to him. “Ever -“ I pushed him down onto a dining chair. “Do that to me again, do you understand me?” I said, straddling him forward facing and gripping his chin with my thumb and forefinger. He said nothing, but his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“Do you?!” I repeated.

He nodded and swallowed down the lump in his throat. I let go of his chin and pushed myself off his lap. “Good.” I said in the sweetest possible tone.

“Do you want tea?” I smiled and made my way over to the kettle.

“Christ,” Jamie mumbled under his breath and tried to compose himself.

I started to make the cup of tea and Jamie stayed completely silent, still sitting in the dining chair.

“Here,” I said, passing him the hot brew. He accepted and offered me a warm smile. I pulled out the chair opposite him and sat myself down, blowing softly on the burning liquid and taking a sip.



“I…I’m sorry.” He mumbled, looking down at his tea and tracing the rim with his finger tip.


“Interfering wi’ yer personal life.” He coughed and took a small sip of tea.

“Quite alright.”

“But I still dinna understand why ye willna get a divorce?” He spoke softly, and his tone had unease to it. I wondered if he was scared of me going off the rails and shouting like a bloody buffoon again.

“It’s complicated, Jamie. There’s a lot involved in divorces. I just think Frank and I need time to figure stuff out.” I looked down at my own cup, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“What?!” He snapped.

“Ye….ye….still wanna be wi’ him?” Jamie’s eyes looked glossy with tears and I saw the desperation behind his swarm of blue.

“Well…I have to try, don’t I?”

“Christ! Have ye no’ tried enough?” He scoffed.

“Are we really going to start arguing again?” My voice sharpened.

“No! I dinna wanna argue wi’ ye, Claire. I just want ye tae see what’s in front of ye!” He said, sighing in frustration.

“And by that you mean, you?” I raised a brow.

“Aye…but no’ jus’ that…he’s not good fer ye, mo nighean donn.”

“And how do you know what’s good for me, hm?”

“I just….because…I ken ye, I ken how yer brain works, I ken yer heart, Claire.” He said, swallowing hard.

“You know nothing, Fraser.” I shook my head and stood up.

“Claire! Dinna leave!” the desperation was clear in his tone.

“I think I’ve outstayed my welcome, don’t you? Goodnight, Jamie.”

Chapter Text


I left the house in a complete rage over my argument with Jamie. I don’t know what he wants from me, I mean yes, of course I know he wants me. But surely that isn’t possible right now? Could I seriously break Frank’s heart? What if this ‘thing’ with Jamie was just a phase? A moment of weakness?


Who am I kidding? Of course it’s not a damn phase and I knew it. I knew full well, but I was scared, so scared. 


Scared of what it meant and of all the change, and what of Fergus? What will he think? How will he react? What if he didn’t want me to be with his father? I couldn’t - no - wouldn’t do that to him, it wasn’t fair. The poor child has had enough turmoil in his short life and he doesn’t need me making things worse. 


But the main issue here is Frank. Poor Frank. I couldn’t just leave him! It would kill him and I made a choice to be his wife. And yes, I haven’t exactly been a very good wife as of late. Maybe if I told him everything, it would be okay?


But it still didn’t change the fact that I had feelings for Jamie. And I doubt by confessing all to Frank it would change how I felt for him. I was terrified of my feelings, I didn’t know what to do. But I had only two options. 


Option one; I push my feelings for Jamie aside, I work on my relationship with Frank and I leave the Frasers for good .


Option two; I tell Frank everything, ask for a divorce and be with Jamie. 


But I knew it wasn’t that simple. 


My head felt it was spinning and I didn’t know how long I would be at war with myself, all I knew was it was draining. 


When I arrived back home I chucked my bag, coat and shoes to the side of the hallway, not even bothering to put anything away. 


I padded my bare feet across the cold tiled floor and turned on all the lights. When the room was lit up, I stood in the centre of it with my hands on my hips, sighing deeply. It was cold, dull, empty and lonely. 


It didn’t even feel like home .


And I begged myself not to start thinking about him again but my pathetic brain can’t help but associate everything and anything with Jamie. No matter what I did, he was right there, in the front of my mind. I couldn’t escape him. 


I was falling in love and I knew it. The thought of loving him frightened me, not because of Jamie, because of me. I have never loved anyone other than Frank, I don’t even know how to love someone that isn’t Frank. But, one thing I did know was these feelings I have for Jamie are stronger than I have ever felt in my life, even with Frank. And maybe, it was that that scared me the most. 


I pulled myself into the kitchen and turned on the lights, I made my way over to the freezer and pulled out a single frozen meal for one. 


Wow, what is your life, Beauchamp?


I chucked the microwave meal in and leaned back on the counter as I watched the container spinning round and round in the machine as it cooked. That microwave was a literal representation of my head right now. 


When it pinged, I pulled it out of the microwave and emptied the contents onto a plate, cursing under my breath at burning my hand on the rising steam. I stabbed a fork into the rubbery, over-cooked lasagne and grabbed a bottle of wine, no glass, just the bottle. 


I made my way back into my living room and flung myself down onto the settee. I decided on a good old episode of Friends to get me through my misery. 


I nearly choked on my lasagne and cried into my wine when Rachel watched the video tape of Ross and she kissed him, then Phoebe said ‘see, he’s her lobster.’


God damn you, Ross and Rachel. So perfect. Good for you . I snorted bitterly to myself. 


When the episode ended, I took my empty plate into the kitchen, all but threw it into the sink and turned back to my wine and fluffy blanket. I dried my now puffy, bloodshot eyes and sunk back down into my couch. 


Just as I flipped the next episode on, the doorbell rang. I huffed and wrapped the blanket around me and shuffled my way to the door. I unlocked the door and opened it. 


There he was, as beautiful as ever. His blue eyes instantly burned into me, his mouth turned into a half smile and he stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders tense. 


“Jamie,” I whispered. 


He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet awkwardly. “May I come in?” He said, softly.


“Uh - umm…yes.” I nodded and stood aside for him to enter. He smiled at me and entered the house, the scent of vanilla instantly swarming my senses and making me feel dizzy.


“Uh - take a seat.” I said, pointing to my settee in front. 


“Aye, thank ye.”


“Do you want something to drink?” 


“Aye, d’ye have whisky?” He said.


“Um..yeah, I think Frank has some in the cupboard.” I instantly regretted mentioning Frank’s name and thought I saw Jamie almost wince.


“Ah,” he nodded and I quietly excused myself to go and get him a tumbler of whisky. I made my way into the kitchen and cursed him under my breath. Now I had to drink from a glass instead of the bottle so I didn’t look like I had lost all sense of myself. Cheers, Fraser.


“Here you go,” I said, handing him the whisky. He thanked me and took it from my hand, his fingers gently brushed against mine and goosebumps arose in the wake of his touch. 


A shiver went down my spine and I softly shook my body and sat down next to him, in hopes he hadn’t noticed. 


“Where’s Fergus?” I asked, taking my empty glass and filling it up with my half empty bottle of wine. 


“Ah, he’s stayin’ wi’ Murtagh tonight. Wanted a gaming night wi’ wee Archie.” 


“Oh, well that's lovely for Fergus.” I nodded and sipped on my wine. Christ, the tension in here you could cut with a knife.


One of us had to approach the sore subject, and it had to be me because I couldn’t sit here any longer with the awkward air between us. 


“Jamie, why are you here?” I said, my voice soft and quiet. 


“Och, I’m sorry. I shouldna just turn up out of the blue like this. I must be inconveniencing ye Claire. I should o’ texted ye first.” He puffed out a large breath and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. 


“It’s quite alright. You are not inconveniencing me, at all. I just wanted to know what it is you’re doing here…” 


“Weel, I dinnae ken about ye, but I’ve been going crazy since ye left earlier.” He took a large gulp of his whisky and turned on his side to face me. 


“Yes, I have been thinking about it.” I sighed and looked down into my wine glass, I traced the rim of the glass with my finger tips. 


“I’m sorry.” We both said in unison, we both let out a small laugh. 


“I really am...I -“ 


Jamie cut me off, “Claire, please-“


“No! Jamie, let me say what I need to, and then you can say your peace.” I nodded at him for understanding and he softly nodded back. 


“Alright, well…I’m so sorry, Jamie. For all of it, for how I have gone about this whole situation. I have dealt with it completely in the wrong way. I’m hurting you, I’m hurting Frank unbeknownst to him. And I’m hurting myself. So fucking badly.” I sighed and took a deep breath, a sip of wine and continued.


“I have treated you both unfairly. I’ve given in to my desires, I’ve let my feelings cloud my judgment and take over everything. This is not the type of person I am or want to be. I don’t go around cheating on my husband. Now, don’t take this the wrong way, please Jamie-“


“But ye’re regrettin’ it? All of it?” He swallowed hard and blinked back the tears forming on his lower lash line. 


“Jamie! I asked you to let me say my peace.”


“Aye, carry on,” he gestured with his hand for me to continue.


“First of all, I do not regret it. I regret the situation and the unfortunate circumstances we are in, but I don’t regret anything we did or the feelings we have shared. The intimacy between you and me is like nothing I have ever felt before, Jamie. I truly mean that.” I stopped for a breath and had another drink. 


“But?” he said, raising an eyebrow at me. 


“I need some time, Jamie. I can’t - won’t keep messing around with your feelings and doing all of this behind Frank’s back. It’s not right, you know it, I know it and it’s only a matter of time before he realises things aren’t and will never be the same between him and I again.” I moved forward and placed my now empty glass onto the coffee table in front. 


“Sae what’re ye tae do?” He furrowed his brows.


“I...- Jamie, I don’t know. I need time. Away from all of this, you and I. Not because I want to be away from you or Fergus but because I want to work this out properly in my head. I can’t do that when you are around, you make it impossible to see anything but my feelings for you.” 


“Aye, I fully understand, Claire. Sae ye do want me?” He asked, his eyes searched my face as he anticipated reassurance. 


Of course! You silly bloody Scot!” I softly chuckled and shook my head. 


“And what of Frank?” 


“What do you mean?”


“What of yer marital relations? When he returns, will ye be his wife ?” I was slightly taken aback by his bold question.


“Are you asking me if I will be having sex with my husband?” I raised a brow in extreme disbelief.


“Aye, I suppose I am.” He said, nonchalantly.


“I don’t really think that’s any of your concern!” I snapped, maybe I was a little too harsh but I was completely thrown off by his intrusive comment. 


“Ye dinna?” He scoffed. 


“No! I bloody well don’t!”


“Christ, ye’ve nae feckin’ idea have ye?” He stood up from the sofa and started to pace my living room, running his hand through his mop of curls in a frustrative manner.


I was too much in shock to say anything so I sat with my arms folded tight against my chest and a stern look slapped across my face.


“We have been intimate Claire, verra intimate and in more ways than one, aye? And ye tell me all of this about needing time, and yet ye think it’s alright tae have sex wi’ yer husband, after all we have gone through and the feelings we have shared...”


He gritted his teeth and balled his fists. 


“I never said I would!!” I protested. 


“No, but ye dinnae say ye wouldna.” He scoffed and shook his head. 


“I’m done wi’ this Claire. I canna take much more o’ it. Ye either sort yerself out, or ye don’t. But I canna continue this facade.” He tutted and turned on his heel to walk towards the front door. 


“Jamie!” I said, bolting off the sofa and running to him. I placed my hand in his and he spun around to face me, sighing deeply. 


“I…-“ I tried to speak but the tears began to flow and I let out a strangled sob instead. 


Jamie’s face softened and he reached forward to touch my shoulder. I relaxed the minute his warm and heavy palm cupped my shoulder blade. “Come here.” He sighed and pulled my body to him, my cheek collided with his pectoral and I wrapped my arms low around his waist. 


“I’m -“ I sniffed. “Sorry.” I sobbed. 


“Aye, it’s alright, mo nighean donn . I have ye.” He caressed my back with his soft fingers, instantly soothing me and calming down my erratic breathing. 


When the sobs eventually stopped and I was just sniffling, I pulled away from Jamie’s arms and looked up at him. He gave me a warm smile and brought his hand up to my face, he swiped his thumb under my eye to remove the last remaining tears. 


“Are ye alright?” He said, his voice soft and tender.


“Yes, I will be. Thank you.” I nodded in reassurance and pulled myself away, I made my way back to the sofa and ushered Jamie to follow me.


He did.


He sat down next to me and I took his hands in mine. 


“I’m not going to sleep with Frank.” I said, with such certainty in my voice Jamie’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. 




“Yes,” I nodded and cupped his cheek, he bent his head and pressed multiple chaste kisses to my lips, I let out a soft chuckle and relaxed back into the couch.


“Ye’re nae jus’ doin’ this fer me, are ye?” He knitted his brows together and darted his tongue out to wet his lips. 


“No, Jamie. I don’t want to have sex with him, not anymore. Not after you. Not just that, I…I don’t even think he wants to have sex with me.” I rolled my eyes.


“Psssst! Mans a feckin’ eejit, Claire. Doesna ken what he had. ” Jamie shook his head. 


“It doesn’t matter now anyway, but Jamie, this isn’t me saying that everything is going to be fine and we can live happily ever after, because I am not. I have a lot to figure out. I still need time, and space. For now.” I nodded at him, he squeezed my hand tight and nodded back at me. 


“Thank you.”


“I once told you, while ye slept; I would wait fer ye fer as long as it takes,” he cleared his throat and pulled me into his lap. “And I still will.” He kissed me softly and ran his hand up my neck and into my curls, gently tugging at the root. 


I moaned into his mouth, hoping my kisses were giving him all the reassurance he needed. I did want him, I have wanted him for a long time. Now it’s time to figure out how the fuck I deal with it.


We parted slowly and stared at one another as we caught our breaths. 


“Do you want to stay for a while?” I whispered, leaning my head against his shoulder. 


“Aye, Sorcha. Yer wee time and space can start tomorrow.” He kissed my temple and I let out a low chuckle.


“Whatever you say, Fraser.”

Chapter Text

Jamie’s POV


I felt completely at peace sitting here with Claire in my arms, like nothing else in this world mattered. Only she and I. 


We both lay silently for some time, enjoying the feeling of being one. 


Christ, I couldn’t love her more than I did right now. Holding her close to me, breathing in her flowery scent, she smelt like a basket of roses. 


Okay, that sounded so cliché. 


But she was beautiful. In every way, the way the flecks of gold ruffled through her brown locks, the light enhanced the beauty of it as it caught the spotlights on the ceiling above. Her rock solid head rolled from my chest to the crook of my arm. The way her cheeks went crimson when she saw me looking at her, admiring her. Wanting her. 


She would go shy when she craned her beautiful wee neck to look up at me, and saw me looking back down at her with nothing but adoration. Her intoxicating eyes made me feel like I’m floating as her gaze pierced mine. I bent my head down to capture her lips with my own, it started out perfectly innocent until she sat herself up and crawled into my lap and began softly rocking against me, my cock instantly hardening underneath her. Begging her to have it, to do with as she pleased. 


It was like the fireworks display at Disney world every time her tongue flashed against my bottom lip, begging to meet with my own. And when it did, it was a perfect dance. Occasionally, she would graze her top teeth against my bottom lip and suck gently before returning her tongue back to its dance. 


I roamed my hands freely on her body, her back, arse, and beautiful curved hips. God, I was in heaven, every time she kissed me or touched me, I was taken away to somewhere far away. Where it was only Claire and I to ever exist in this world. 


She moaned into my mouth, I pushed her off my lap and lay her flat on her back against the soft cushions of her sofa, trailing my lips across her jaw and neck, she arched her back in immediate response. 


“Fuck, Jamie!” She cursed as I cupped her breast through her thin shirt. 


“What were ye sayin’ about havin’ tae take time?” I teased, tilting my head and smirking up at her. 


“Bloody Scot!” She rolled her eyes and tutted under her breath.


“Did ye just roll yer eyes at me?” I furrowed my brows and feigned a shocked expression. 


“Yes, I did.” She said, nonchalantly.


“That’s no’ a verra nice thing tae do.” I pursed my lip at her. 


“Well, I’m not a very nice person.” She raised a brow. 


“Och, are ye no’?”


“Nope, in fact I’m quite bad. What’re you going to do about it?” She teased and gave me a sweet and innocent smile. 


Christ, she’s tryin’ tae put me 6 feet under.


“Well, what do ye want me tae do about it?” I said, tantalisingly.


“Hmmm, I really don’t know. A punishment, of some sort?” She was flirting and being a damn tease and she knew it. 


“Punishment ye say?” I quizzed. 


“Aye,” she said, winking.


“Sit up, there’s a good lass.” I pulled her by the hand and pulled her to a sitting position. 


“What now?” She almost whispered.


“Lay across my knee.” 


“What?!” She smirked.


“Ye heard me, lay across my knee.” I pulled her forward. She raised a brow and laid her torso across me. 


“Ah, good girl.” I said, stroking my palm flat against her back. Trailing my hand slowly down to her jogger covered ass, I gripped it tight in my hand. 


“Such a round, full arse.” I groaned in satisfaction. “Christ, I could play wi’ it all day.” I rubbed over the area and raised my hand and gave a small smack. 


“Eek!” She squealed, and I laughed in response. 


I made my way up to her waistband and gently pulled it down to expose her white lace underwear and porcelain skin. 


“Beautiful.” I mumbled and caressed a handful of cheek. 


“Now then,” I said, raising my hand high and bringing it down to smack again. She jolted against me and let out a low moan. 


“I don’t think that’s enough, sir.” She said, turning her head over her shoulder and fluttering her eyelashes and giving me a teasing smirk. 


My cock was going to snap off at this rate .


“No?” I said, and hooked a finger at the top of her knickers, slowly pulling them down to her thighs and exposing her plump arse. I slapped again, hard, she sucked in a breath and I felt the stinging prickling against my palm. 


“Is that enough fer ye?” 




So, I did it again. This time, moans of pure pleasure escaped her perfect rosy lips and I fought everything within me to stop from spinning her around taking down my jeans and thrusting home.


Not now, Fraser.


Instead, I lifted her by the waist and laid her gently back down to the couch, I climbed atop her and kissed her begging lips. My hand trailed in between her thighs and I found exactly what I wanted. I ran my index finger up her sopping slit and gently parted her lips to find her pulsating clit, I rubbed softly. She squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back in ecstasy. 


That’s my girl.


“Sorcha,” I whispered as I slowly pushed a finger inside of her. 


“Open yer eyes.” I placed a soft kiss to the base of her throat. 


“I - I can’t. Oh god.” She cried as I pumped in and out, hard. 


“Aye, ye can.” I said, slowly inserting a second finger causing her to cry out. 


She slowly peeled her eyes open and looked down to my hand pumping in and out of her opening, she ground against my hand. The heel of my palm sat against her clit giving her the friction she needed as I worked her from the inside. 


“Oh god - Jamie - please. Will you just fuck me?” She groaned and bit down on to her bottom lip, gently pulling it between her teeth. 


Nae, Sassenach. No’ yet.” 


“Fuck, you’re killing me!”


I picked my pace up again, I could feel her tightening around me, she was close. So damn close. 


“Look at me as ye come, Claire.” Her eyes found mine and her breathing began to quicken, and her walls clamped down on to my fingers.


“Oh - fuck! - yes! - Jesus!” She cried as she came, her eyes squeezed tight closed as she rocked against my hand, riding out the last of her orgasm. Her legs twitched and her chest heaved. 


I bent my head and placed a soft kiss on her trembling lips. “ Mo nighean donn.” I whispered into her mouth. 


She smirked against my mouth and pulled me tight to her. “God, I can’t wait for you to fuck my brains out.” She mumbled into my hair. 


I chuckled and nodded against her chest. “You and me both.” I said, and took her hand and placed it over my throbbing cock. “And him.” I teased. 


She pushed herself up onto her elbows and raised a brow. 


“I think we better sort that out,” she said, nodding towards my bulging pants. “Hmm,” I smirked. 


She crawled to me and straddled my lap, she moved her hands down to my button and fly and opened it, then I raised myself upwards so she could pull them down, she pulled down my briefs and let my cock spring free. She wrapped her small hand around my shaft and slowly stroked upwards. I hissed at the intensity of her mere touch. 


“Ughhh,” I rolled my head back and she held one hand on my shoulder and the other wrapped around my cock, she bent her head and sucked at the soft skin behind my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I captured her lips with my own and kissed her thoroughly as her hand worked hard against me.


“Jesus Claire,” I sucked in a breath as she tightened her grip on my cock, she worked faster, pumping up and down and rolling her thumb over the tip.


I could feel my release building up, the more she pumped the harder it was to control myself and before I knew it I was coming all over her hand and my mouth was shouting her name. 


Once I recovered from my orgasm, she climbed off me and collapsed next to me on the couch. 


“Well…that was…uh, a lot.” She let out a soft chuckle and my heart fluttered at the sound. 


“Aye, ‘twas.” I nodded. “Can I use yer wee bathroom tae clean up?” 


“Sure, just use the one in our - my - bedroom. I’ll show you.” She cleared her throat and stood up, ushering me to follow. 


“It’s just through there.” She smiled and opened her door, allowing me to enter and turning back towards the lounge. 


I took myself into the wee en-suite and locked the door behind me. I washed my hands and zipped up my jeans. I noticed her wee bra hanging on the back of the bathroom door and couldn’t help but smile. 


On the shelf of her bathroom, I noticed a lipstick shaped pink thing, plugged into the wall. I picked it up and examined it. 


What the devil!?


I twirled it around in my finger and found a wee button, so I pressed it. It started vibrating in my hand and I nearly dropped the damned gadget. 


Claire Randall, ye wee minx.


As soon as it started twirling and vibrating in my hand I knew exactly what it was. I pulled it out of the plug and turned it off, slipped it into my back pocket and made my way back through to the living room. When I got back in, Claire was sitting on the couch with the blanket wrapped around her and she was picking at her nails.


“Did you find it alright?” She said, without looking up at me. 


“Ochhh, aye, nae bother.” I smirked and pulled the little vibrating lipstick out of my pocket. 


“But I found something verra interesting.” I teased, spinning said gadget in my hand. 


“Oh?” She quizzed, still not looking at me. 


“Aye,” I said, pressing on the wee button and turning on the vibration.


Her head snapped up then, I couldn’t hide my humorous expression. 


“Oh my god! Shit!” She said, throwing herself up from the couch. 


“W-where..Um- where did you get that?” She cleared her throat and rubbed her neck nervously, I could see the heat creeping up and spreading across her cheeks. 


“Just in yer bathroom, chargin’.” I shrugged. 


“Shit!” She mumbled. “I - uh - forgot that I had left that there.” She let out a nervous laugh and stepped towards me, she leaned forward and attempted to take it from my hand but I snatched my hand away. 


“I dinnae think sae, I’m verra intrigued by yer wee friend here.” I said, shaking the vibrator at her. 


“This is so embarrassing! Please give it to me, so I can put it away and forget you ever found it.” 


“No’ a chance, lass. And what’s embarrassing about it?” I raised a brow. 


“If - if Frank knew he would…well, he would not be happy. I hide it from him...” she was blushing furiously. 


“Well, I think it’s pretty damn sexy, Claire. And I think ye shoulda told me before I pleasured ye…” 


“Well I, - uh, I - I’m quite alright with your -uhm- hands.” She shrugged and rubbed her forehead. 


“Dinnae be sae embarrassed, Sorcha. ‘Tis perfectly normal. And aye, dinnae think that I dinnae adore touchin’ ye cos I do, ‘Tis my favourite thing ever. But, we are gonna have tae try this wee beastie sometime...” 


“What really?” 


“Och, aye, ye can show me how ye use it, if ye like…” I bit down on my lip and the thought of Claire pleasuring herself with this wee device.


“Well, maybe. One day, we’ll see. But I think we should discuss our plans for taking some time away from this and seeing where it goes, hm?” She nodded. 


“Aye, if ye like.” 


“Can I have my toy back now, please?” She fluttered her eyelashes and pursed her lip. 


“Since ye asked sae nicely…” I chucked her the small gadget and she quickly slipped off to the bedroom, to hide it again. 


“Get more wine, I’ll be out in a minute!” She shouted. 


“Anything for ye, Sassenach.” 


Chapter Text

“Jamie!! Will you stop it and be serious!” I whined like a spoiled child. 


“I dinnae do serious,” he smirked and continued to tease and torment me. 


“Please, stop trying to distract me and let’s talk logically, hm?” I tried to reason with him.


“I would much rather tickle yer wee toes, and slip my hand down yer wee joggers and cup that fine, round arse.” He quirked a brow. 


“I think you’ve done enough ass groping this evening, don’t you?” 


“Nae! Never.” And with that he slipped his hand down and cupped a handful of cheek. “Sae good.” 


“Jamie!” I scolded. “Seriously!” I groaned. 


“Okay…okay…I’ll stop my wee groping. Talk to me, Sorcha .” He curled his lip into a half smile. 


“Terms and agreements.” I said, clearing my throat. 


“Och, here we go, where’s yer wee pen for me tae sign the contract?” He teased.


“Very funny!” I said, sarcastically narrowing my eyes at him. 


“Okay, continue.” 


“Why thank you so much,” I rolled my eyes. 


“Did ye roll yer eyes at me? Again?” He tilted his head and pulled his lip between his teeth, stopping himself from beaming a huge smirk. “Ye ken what happens when ye do that...” 


“Yes! I do ‘ken’ but not right now, come on, Jamie…” I was seriously whimpering like a 5 year old child that had just been told they couldn’t have candy for breakfast. 


“Fine, I promise, I’ll stop.” 


“Thank you. So, after this…we will go back to how things were, before…well before…” I gestured with my index finger between us. 


“Was there ever a ‘before’?” He quizzed. 


“Yes, I didn’t ravish you the moment I met you, did I?” I retorted. 


“Nae, but I wouldna have stopped ye if ye did…” he tried to wink, but failed miserably which made me smile like an idiot. 


“Right, so. I will come over, sort Fergus out, do whatever you need me to, for Fergus! And then I will leave again, no stopping for dinner or a cup of tea. Got it?” I raised a questioning brow and Jamie pushed his bottom lip out. 




“I just need to figure this shit out. I need to talk to Frank. If he wants to go to New York, then let him. I won’t uproot my life for him again.” I sighed, sipping on the last of my wine. 


“When will he return?” Jamie asked, swallowing hard and tracing the rim of his whisky tumbler. 


“He’s back home around dinner time tomorrow.” I gulped, dreading the idea of being with him, sharing his bed. I could have vomited at the very thought.


“I’m sorry Jamie, I really am.” I whispered under my breath.


“Och, I ken ‘tis hard fer ye, but I am here. I’m nae going anywhere. I just need ye to sort it in yer head, I canna go back and forth, Sassenach.” He spoke softly as placed his palm on my knee and stroked tentatively.


“Thank you, Jamie. Do you want to stay the night? Our agreement doesn’t start until tomorrow after all…” I smirked. 


“I canna lass, it’s no’ right. I canna get in a bed ye’ve shared wi’ another.” He said, a flash of sadness washed over him and he brought his glass to his mouth, threw back the last of the whisky and sighed deeply. 


“I know, I’m sorry it was stupid for me to ask.” I felt embarrassed and pathetic for even suggesting such a thing. 


“Hey, ‘tis fine. I would love nothing more than tae stay wi’ ye lass, ye must ken that?” He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him, I shuffled myself into his embrace and placed my head on his shoulder. 


“I do know. And it won’t be long, my love.” My heart stopped instantly as the words tumbled from my mouth. 


“I just meant it as an endearment, ha! I say it all the time to all my friends, Joe, Geillis…and such.” I laughed nervously and tilted my head away from him so he didn’t see the embarrassment all over my cheeks. 


“Aye, mo ghraidh.” He placed his lips against my temple and I fluttered my eyes shut. Savouring this moment, I didn’t know when or if I would get it again. 

I woke up the next day feeling empty and alone. I missed him so much already. I knew I had made my mind up, I wanted Jamie. I just had to face it, face Frank .


And I knew it wouldn’t be easy or simple, and Frank will more than likely put up a fight and have me up for adultery. 


So be it. 


I was done with it. I knew this, but I had to figure it out properly and handle it in the right way. I couldn’t just simply fall into Jamie’s arms and that would be the end of it, it just wouldn’t happen like that. 


I busied myself throughout the day, the anticipation of Frank’s return was weighing heavy on my chest. My anxiety was rocketing, reaching its highest peak. 


Would he know I had been unfaithful? Would he know I don’t want him anymore?


All these thoughts were swarming throughout my brain, and yet every now and then a sea of blue would flash across my mind and I would instantly ease. Jamie. Even when he wasn’t here, he was able to calm me down. 


I had cleaned the kitchen, dusted the living room, plumped up the scatter cushions on the sofa (the ones Jamie and I squished during our tryst last night.) The thought of those moments of Jamie’s hands between my thighs sent my heart racing and my head spinning. I cleared my throat and shook the thoughts from my head as I continued to do my chores. 


Just as I headed into the bedroom my phone vibrated against the wood of the dining room table. 

Jamie Fraser : Hello, Claire. I am wondering if you are able to pick Fergus up from school tomorrow afternoon at 3.30pm? I have a meeting I will be in until 6pm. Thanks, Jamie. 


Oh my god. He is seriously taking this ‘time away’ stuff to the next level, I couldn’t help the smirk that appeared on my face and I softly shook my curls. 


Claire Randall : Hello, Mr Fraser. Yes I am available to pick Fergus up, that’s not a problem. 


Two can play this game. 


Jamie Fraser : Thank you, Claire. Have a lovely evening. 


Claire Randall: You too, Fraser. 

Ps, I miss your face. 


Jesus H Christ, you can’t help yourself can you, Beauchamp?


Jamie Fraser: You will see it tomorrow. 

Ps, I miss your sweet round arse.


I bit down on my lip and smiled like an idiot at my screen. 


Claire Randall: You will see it tomorrow.

Ps, you can look but you can’t touch. 


Dangerous territory, Claire. 


Jamie Fraser: Oh, Lass, You wound me. 

Ps, we will see about that. 


Claire Randall: Oh? Will we now? ;)


Jamie Fraser : Are you flirting with me?


Claire Randall : Me, flirting? In your dreams, Fraser. 


Jamie Fraser : Oh, most definitely. 


Claire Randall : Tease


Jamie Fraser : You started it! 


Claire Randall : See you tomorrow. X


Jamie Fraser : Yes, you will. 

I couldn’t pretend that this conversation didn’t make me all kinds of happy, I felt ridiculous and like a school kid that was talking to their crush for the first time. The butterflies and all. 


I placed my phone back on the counter, just as I stood up the door unlocked and I heard Frank’s whistle coming from the hall. 


My stomach dropped and my heart began to pound hard against my chest. 


“Claire!” His voice reverberated through the thin walls of the house and I felt a chill running down my spine. 


I cleared my throat and composed myself. “Here,” I called back in a shaky breath. 


Frank came through to the living room and dropped his suitcases to the floor, he was beaming a smile and he flew towards me with open arms. 


“My darling!” He cried, crushing my body against his. My arms were welded tight to my side as he squeezed me into a breathtaking hug - I literally couldn’t breathe. 


“I have missed you.” He cooed, he brought his lips down to my cheek and placed a chaste kiss there. “Me too.” I whispered. 


“Are you alright, Claire?” He said, furrowing his brows at me and taking my shoulders in both palms. 


“Quite,” I faked a smile. “It’s just overwhelming to have you home.” I nodded at him. 


“I hope that’s a good thing.” He snorted and pulled back from me. 


“Of course!” I said. “Do you want a drink? Coffee?” I cleared my throat and rubbed my sweaty palms together. 


“Oh I would love one, darling.” 

Sometime later, we settled down on the couch, him with a coffee and me with a tea. The silence was unbearable and you could have cut the tension with a knife. 


“So, New York?” I said, sipping on my hot brew. 


“Yes, fantastic! Is it not?” Frank chirped. 


“It is, yes. Are you going to move there?” I said, raising a suspicious brow. 


We are.” 


“No, Frank. You can do as you please. I am not uprooting my life again.” I said, sternly. 


“Claire, we just need to discuss this properly. Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow evening and we can talk about it then?” He said, completely brushing off what I had said about not moving again.


“I can’t, I have work.” I shook my head. 


“Claire! I haven’t seen you for a week, surely Jimmy will give you the evening off to spend time with your husband !” He scoffed and shook his head disgustedly. 


“Jamie.” I corrected him.


“Oh yes, him.” 


“No, he won’t. Jamie is at a meeting tomorrow and I need to pick Fergus up from school.” I said and shrugged my shoulders. 


“Fuck sake!” He cursed. 


“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t, not one bit. 


“Well, we have to discuss this, Claire. You will love New York.” 


“But I’m not going, Frank.” I repeated. 


“Oh don’t be silly, of course you are!” He softly chuckled and threw back more coffee. 


“Fucking hell!” I shouted, and slammed my cup down onto the coffee table before throwing myself off the couch and pacing the living room. 


“You never fucking listen to me. I am not going to New York, end of story!” I snapped. 


“Alright, darling, calm down. We will figure something out.” He said, brushing me off again. 


Did I have to shake his fucking head to make him listen to the words that were coming from my mouth. 


“You’re not going to listen to me, Frank. I’m going to have a shower and go to bed.” 


“But it’s not even dinner time!” He protested. 


“I’m not having this conversation with you if you won’t listen to me!” I exclaimed, my frustration growing with every passing second. 


“Well if you aren’t coming to New York, as you say, then how are we to have a marriage?” He knitted his brows together and his lips formed into a small line. 


“We aren’t!” I shouted. Oh shit. 


“What?” He said, standing up and facing me. 


“I don’t know, Frank…” I sighed heavily and rubbed my palm against my forehead. 


He stepped towards me and wrapped his arms around me, it felt wrong. It wasn’t comforting, at all.


He bent his head and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I hesitated but let him kiss me gently, he moved his hands up and down my back and slowly moved to the front of my shirt. He started to unbutton my soft cotton blouse. 


I slapped his hand away and pulled back. “What’re you doing!?” I shouted, my eyes narrowing at him. 


“We just need to rekindle, my darling.” He said, moving in to kiss me again but I moved completely away from him. 


“You have got to be fucking kidding me? You think by trying to have sex with me, that it’s going to change anything? ” I scoffed. 


“Fuck sake Claire! Your so fucking rigid.” He shouted. 


“How dare you! Fuck you!” I screamed back. 


“So what is it then? You want a divorce?” He let out a humorless laugh and shook his head. “Never a chance.” He added. 


“Yes, actually, I do.” I said and quickly turned on my heel, grabbing my phone from the table and taking myself off to the bathroom where I locked myself in, slumped against the bathroom door and sobbed my heart out. 


Jamie, I need Jamie. 


Chapter Text

I left the house early that morning before Frank awoke. I couldn’t deal with him right now, I needed not to have another blazing row with him again. I
knew we needed to resolve it, or come to some sort of arrangement. 


I let myself into the Fraser’s, toed off my shoes and shrugged off my jacket. 


“Hello?” I called out. No response.

I furrowed my brows and slowly made my way through the hall and down to the kitchen. 


I turned back around again and checked the lounge, again empty.

I headed for the stairs and hastily climbed them. “Jamie?” I called out. 

When I reached the top of the stairs Jamie was coming out of the bathroom. A fluffy white towel hung low on his hips and his skin glistened with the water droplets, his copper hair had gone a dark, chestnut colour with the water. 

“Oh,” I said, coming face to face with him. I darted my gaze, and took my lip between my teeth in hopes to subside the growing heat. 

“G’mornin’ Claire.” He chirped, a small smirk curling at the top of his lips. 

“I’ll - uh - go downstairs.” I laughed nervously and swallowed the dry lump in my throat. 

“Och, no’ bother. Ye should come tae my room while I get changed, aye?” I snapped my gaze back to him and furrowed my brows. 


“Weel, ‘Tis no’ like ye’ve never seen it before.” He winked and I blushed even harder. 

“Well, I suppose you're right. But that isn’t in the terms and agreements.” I folded my arms against my chest and stood tall. 


“Oh aye, yer wee contract thingy.” He chuckled and shook his head, his damp curls released some water and dropped onto his shoulder, down his clavicle and to his navel. I followed it’s tracks until I realised I was practically staring at his dick. 

“It’s not a contract.” I shook my head profusely. 


“Whate’er ye say, Sassenach.” He turned away from me and made his way to his bedroom. Stopping at his door, he leaned against the frame.


“So I canna tempt ye tae come in?” He raised a questioning brow. 

“Jamie!” I scolded. 

“Fine! Yer loss.” He attempted his sleepy owl styled wink and shut the door behind him.


I let out a deep sigh and fluttered my eyes shut momentarily. “Damn you, Fraser.” I grunted under my breath. 

I made my way back downstairs and decided to make some tea and toast while I waited for my Viking soldier to get dressed.


Humming to myself, I placed the tea bags into the cups and poured the hot, steaming water over the top. 

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt strong, warm arms wrap around my stomach and a solid torso press into my back. I sucked in a breath and he pulled the hair off of my nape and pressed a kiss to the top of my spine. 


“Jamie,” I stuttered. He moved from my stomach to the curve of my hip where he splayed his hand out and caressed the soft swell with the padding of his thumb. His breath hot against my neck, causing every tiny hair on my body to come to a stand.


“I missed ye,” he sighed deeply and nuzzled himself into the back of my curls, inhaling sharply. 

My front was pressed into the kitchen counter and his long torso was tight against my back. “You did?” I whispered softly. 

“Aye, of course I did.” He mumbled, he moved the hand that wasn’t on my hip up to my breast and cupped it gently through my thin blouse. I swatted his hand away instantly. “Jamie!” 

“I canna bear it, Claire, I have tae touch ye.” He whined, rubbing the tip of his ice cold nose against my pulse point. I pushed my arse back against his crotch, he hissed and let out a low growl. “Your cock is in my way.” 


“Nae lass, yer fine, round arse is in my way. But do ye ken what? I dinna think I care.” He bit down on the sensitive skin above my clavicle. My eyes fluttered closed and I swallowed hard. “Jesus Christ.” I muttered under my breath. “Hmmm,” he smirked into the side of my neck and used his left hand to trace lazy patterns on the curve of my waist, making me feel dizzy. 


“Da?!” Fergus shouted from upstairs, causing us to break apart and come back down to reality. “Fergus.” I said under my breath. “Will ye see him?” Jamie asked. I furrowed my brow and folded my arms across my chest. “And what’s wrong with your legs?” I raised a questioning brow. 


“It’s no’ my legs I’m worried about. My cock is rock solid, Sassenach, and I dinnae fancy explain’ that one to my son, aye?” He deadpanned and flashed me a knowing smirk. 


“Oh,” I couldn’t help the small smirk on the corner of my lips and the heat that crept up to my cheeks causing me to look like a perfectly ripe tomato. 


I swiftly left the room while Jamie adjusted himself, as it were. I made my way up the stairs and to Fergus who was sitting on his bed with his head in his lap. “What’s wrong, soldier?” I rushed to his side and brushed the sweat coated curls from his forehead. He sobbed a little and collapsed against me. “Fergus?” I whispered, rubbing a soft palm against the planes of his back. 


“I don’t feel well.” He sniffled and nuzzled his head into the crook of my arm. “Let me look at you.” I held his head between my hands, brushed his plastered curls away from his neck and placed my palm flat against his forehead. I heard the padding of Jamie’s feet as he ascended the stairs. 


“What is it?” He said rushing over to Fergus and kneeling in front of him. “He has a fever.” I sighed and rubbed the small of Fergus’ back. “D’ye have a cough, laddie?” Jamie furrowed his brows and placed a soft kiss on Fergus' hand. 


Fergus shook his head and wiped a snotty nose on the back of his pyjama covered arm. “I think he has cold and flu.” I furrowed my brows and brought my hand to his damp curls, I massaged his scalp with the tips of my fingers and he sighed contentedly and let his body relax into me. 


“Jamie, get him some paracetamol and a damp, cool cloth.” I said, moving Fergus from my grasp and gently laying him flat down against the bed, I propped up the pillow behind him and covered half of his body with the duvet. 


Jamie returned with the meds, a glass of water and a cold cloth. I placed the wet fabric against his head and he let out a small sigh of relief. “Fergus, lean forward love.” I said, guiding the back of his neck with my hand. He sat up gently and took the paracetamol and a large gulp of water. 


“Now,” I said. “Relax, try and get some sleep. The medicine should lower your temperature.” My voice was soft and reassuring and he nodded at me softly; his eyes drooped and were puffy and red. His nose was blotchy, angry and dripping. 


My poor soldier.


Jamie pressed a kiss to Fergus’ damp locks and followed me out of the bedroom. I closed the bedroom door half way and made my way back down stairs. 


“Poor little love.” I pursed my bottom lip out. “Aye, bless him.” Jamie said as he jumped off the bottom step. “Tea?” He chirped. 

“I really shouldn’t...” I raised a brow and loosely shook my mass of curls. 

“Claire, it’s jus’ a cup of tea.” He shrugged and shot me a pleading look.

“I know but I said that we couldn’t, and it’s not in the terms and agreements.” I folded my arms tight to my chest. 

“Aye, I jus’ wanted tae talk about Fergus’ wee party.” the blue of his eyes was enough to knock me clean out. They were a trap, and I fell for it every single time.

“Well, what about it?” 

“Have a cuppa and I’ll tell ye.” He did his usual sleepy-owl wink and I couldn’t help the beaming smile that betrayed me. 

“Fine! But no funny business!” I pointed at him in warning. “I mean it!” 

“Alright, ye have my word.” He said, holding his hands up in defence. I pushed past him and sat down at the table. 

“So…did ye speak wi’ Frank?” He said, clearing his throat and busying himself with the tea making. 

“I thought we were talking about Fergus?” I narrowed my eyes, and picked up an apple from the fruit bowl, tossing it in the air and then taking a large bite. He turned back briefly to see what I was chewing on, he gave me a small smirk and continued his duty. 


“Aye, we are. I was jus’ curious about Frank.” He shrugged his shoulders and poured the steaming boiled water into two mugs. 


“Well, I don’t want to talk about Frank. He’s….well, I don’t know. He thinks I’ll give in and go to New York.” I said, chomping down onto another bite of apple. 


“And will ye? Change yer mind?” He swallowed hard, fear washed across his blue eyes. He passed me my tea and I thanked him. 


“I don’t want to go to New York, Jamie.” I traced my fingertip around the top of the mug, not daring to look at him. 


“But ye’re thinkin’ of it?” He pressed. 


I shook my head and stood up from my seat, made my way over to the bin and chucked the apple core into it. “No.” I said, with my back to him. 

“No?” He croaked. 

“No. Jamie. No! I don’t want to go to fucking New York, I don’t want to be his trophy wife, he tried to have sex with me you know?” I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth, my hand raised to my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut. 


Fuck, Beauchamp.


“I thought ye said he dinna want ye like that?” He gulped, I slowly turned around to face him. His cheeks had reddened and his jaw was locked tight. 


“I - I thought he didn’t…he thought if he could get me into bed I would stop saying no to New York.” I shrugged and spoke quietly under my breath. 


Jamie abruptly stood up and began to pace the kitchen. “And did ye reciprocate?” He said through gritted teeth. 


“No!” I was raising my voice now, to get it across to him that I did not want to sleep with Frank. “But did ye let him take ye tae bed?” He said, leaning against the kitchen counter, his back to me. He drummed his fingers hard against the marble work surface. The vibration cursed through me and sent a shiver down my spine. 


“No, Jamie. I told you I wouldn’t and I didn’t. ” I stepped toward him and put my hand on the hard planes of his back. He did not return my touch, or acknowledge it. He only stood there in silence, the only sound was his heavy breathing and I watched the rise and fall of his shoulders. 


“Promise?” He whispered. “Yes! You damn fool!” I let out a humorless laugh. “I still need this time to sort it out in my head, to figure out what I’m going to do about Frank and New York. But please, stop doubting me. I want you .” I forced myself not to let the threatening tears fall. I held it all to the back of my throat and stood tall. “If you don’t believe me and start trusting my word, then this is over before it’s even started.” 


He spun around on his heel, his face was red and his eyes glistened over with tears. “I have visions ye ken?” He sighed. “Visions of ye and him, I see ye laying there wi’ him, yer body bare to him. His hands touchin’ ye, Christ it makes me sick to my stomach and I could kill ye for it!” He spat. 


“Jamie! I just fucking told you he hasn’t touched me!” I threw my hands in the air in anger, moved away from him and started pacing myself. 


“This is not exactly time, nor space, Jamie. We’re going over the same thing, time and time again. I’ve asked you to just let me deal with it!” I clutched at my chest and folded an arm around myself. 


“Fine, ye’ve got until Fergus’ birthday and if you haven’t sorted yerself out then this,” he gestured with his hand between us. “Is done.” He gulped. 


“What?!” I snapped. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?” I raised my brows in shock. 


“Aye, Claire. Fergus’ birthday is in two weeks time, we’re going tae the beach cabin. I want ye tae join us. And when we arrive, I want tae hear ye tell me it’s over wi’ yer husband.” He said, impassively. 


“Alright. If that’s how you want to play it, fine. I will see you at Fergus’ birthday. I won’t let him down.” I retorted.


“I will see ye before then a nighean . ‘Tis two weeks away.” He laughed. 


“I don’t think you will, I need some time off. Some time away. I clearly can’t be around you and act like nothing has happened. So in that case, I am taking the full two weeks off and I will see you at Fergus’ birthday.” I snapped, pulling my handbag tight over my shoulder and storming past him. 


He gripped my arm, I pulled back from his grasp and shook my head. “No, you do not get to try and kiss me and think everything’s ok.” I scoffed. “Claire…you dinnae mean this.” He pleaded. 


“Yes, I do! This is what it’s come to? Having to not see each other at all in order to think clearly? Fine, so fucking be it.” I gritted my teeth and let one singular tear roll down my cheek. He caught it with his thumb. “ Mo nighean donn, ” he sighed. “I’m sorry.” 


“Me too. Goodbye, Jamie.” I whispered and removed his hand from my face before forcing myself to turn away from him and leave the house. 


“Claire!” He said as I reached the door handle. I stopped in my tracks, not having the strength to turn back and look at his broken face. 


“Tell Fergus I hope he’s alright, and if he gets any worse take him to the doctor.” I whispered. Jamie didn’t respond, I could hear the sniffles from his nose and the puffed out breaths he let out to maintain his sobs.


“Goodbye, Claire.” I heard escape from his lips as the door closed shut, I fell against it. Squeezing my eyes tight shut and covering my mouth with the palm of my hand to control the sobs that were on their way. 


Had I just lost him?

Chapter Text

7 days. One whole week. 168 hours without him. I hadn’t seen Jamie since I left his house that dreadful day, he hadn’t even attempted to try and see me. I asked him to leave me be, let me have this time away so I don’t know why I expected him to contact me. I had texted him the following day purely to ask if Fergus was better. 




Claire Randall: How is Fergus today?


Jamie Fraser: He’s a lot better, Thank you. 24hr flu thing. No more fever. 


Claire Randall: That's good. Send him my love. 


Jamie Fraser: Of course, Claire. 




And that was the extent of our conversation. No flirtatious behaviour, no trying to make a conversation with each other, no Jamie, no Claire . Nothing.


It hurt. So fucking bad, and yes I knew this 

had been my idea and I had brought all of it on myself but it was breaking my heart as every day, hour, minute passed without being in his presence. The soft auburn curls that grazed his freckled neck, the way his mouth would turn into a half lopsided smirk when I said something he found remotely amusing. Or his soft, kind and gentle sea of blue that would melt my heart and make my stomach flutter as if a hundred butterflies had been set free. 


I had never realised how much you could miss someone, in such a short amount of time. It had only been a week, it felt like a lifetime. The knowledge that he was so close yet so fucking far made my chest tighten. I couldn’t see him, touch him, hold him. And it was tearing me apart more and more as the days passed by. I longed for him. My mind, body and soul ached for him. 


The more I tried to stop thinking about him the more I couldn’t , I was tormented by the memory of him, my skin still burned from his touch. If I traced my fingers across my skin I could sit back and pretend it was his own hand's work. I could flutter my eyes closed and pretend in my mind's eye it was him touching me and him only. Of course, my own touch was naught in comparison. 


Sometimes, I thought I heard him laughing and I would have to shake my head in an attempt to stop my deceiving brain from playing sick games. 


In the time I hadn’t seen Jamie, I had barely seen Frank, either. He was back to work, business as usual. He was up at the first sign of morning sun and back at the first sign of night-time dark. He spent most of the week at meetings and working overtime, he said it was to do with the transition of New York, extra hours were absolutely necessary to ensure his job was safe in the big city. He hadn’t attempted to talk to me about our last heated conversation. He hadn’t come near me as a husband would to his wife (not that I wasn’t grateful for that) our relationship was simply platonic. 


I knew the conversation was due to come up again, how could it not? He had 3 months before he left for New York. 


I had gotten up early Sunday morning, I couldn’t sleep for thoughts of Jamie swarming my brain. Every time I closed my eyes I saw copper and opal. I thought about his arms around me, I could almost feel his breath on the back of my neck as he wrapped his large, strong arms around my waist and pulled me flush to his chest. I felt safe, I felt home.


And with all those thoughts going through my mind, I turned to Frank’s sleeping body. The gentle rise and fall from his chest and the low snore from deep in his throat. He faced away from me, as he did every night. 


I gave up the idea of getting any sleep so I decided to throw my robe over my shoulders and make my way into the living room. I pulled my phone out of the charging port and padded my feet as quietly as possible. The last thing I needed was to wake Frank. I meticulously closed the door behind me, cursing the hinges for squeaking and squealing as I closed the door shut. 


Why did everything have to be so fucking loud when you needed it to be quiet. 


Once I was confident my door closing hadn’t disturbed Mr. Randall, I turned on my foot and headed for the kitchen. Deciding on making some hot milk. I pulled a pan from the cupboard and placed it atop the stove. Pouring a glass full of milk into the pan, I watched slowly as it started to come to the boil. I couldn’t take my eyes from the tiny little bubbles that gathered at the corners of the pan. Once I was satisfied that it was boiled, I poured the hot and creamy liquid into the mug and headed back to the lounge. 


Hurling myself into the sofa, I tucked my cold feet underneath me and pulled out my phone from my robe pocket. 






I found myself heading to Jamie’s name, I clicked on his contact info and stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, I took a large sip from my mug. “Shit.” I mumbled as the hot fluid burnt my tongue. 

I groaned, picking my phone back up from my lap and hovering my thumb over his name. 


Should I call him? - No! It’s 5.30am woman, are you mad? 


I shook my head. 


Okay, what about a text? 


And what do you suppose to say to him, Beauchamp? 


I was having a very heated debate with myself in my head, did nobody ever tell you talking to yourself is the first sign of madness? 


Well, clearly I’m fucking crazy. 


Back to Jamie, No! You cannot text him at this ungodly hour just because you’re pining after him. 


Jesus fucking god - I needed sleep. 


I slammed my phone down into the empty seat next to me and face-planted a cushion. I sighed heavily and curled myself up into a small ball. 


The next thing I knew everything went black and for the first time this week, my mind went blank. 




“Claire?” I heard my name being called from what sounded like it was coming from underwater. “Claire?!” And again. I then felt a weight being lifted off of me and realised I had passed out on the sofa with the cushion over my head. 


I grumbled and pried my eyes open and immediately squinted at the bright morning glow. “What time is it?” I croaked. 


Frank came from around the back of the sofa and stood in front of me, coffee in hand. I looked up at him and sat myself upright. “7.30. What’re you doing on the couch?” He asked, passing me the coffee. I took it from him and thanked him before taking a small sip and sighing in pleasure at the hot liquid running down my throat. 


“I couldn’t sleep, so I got up to make some hot milk and ended up passing out on the sofa.” I shrugged, my voice raspy and hoarse. 


“Why couldn’t you sleep?” 


“Just a lot going on at the moment.” I shrugged and curled my leg underneath myself. 


“Claire, we need to talk about this.” Frank placed his palm over my pyjama covered knee and stroked this thumb back and forth. I looked down at his moving hand and shook my head. “I can’t.” 


“Can’t what?” His tone was a lot softer and calmer than what it had been last week when we had screamed at each other in this very same spot. 


“Talk about it. I just need time to process everything.” I pleaded with him in my tone and in my gaze. 


“I need you to make a decision, Claire. You know I have to go. And I want my wife to be with me, but I cannot force you.” He sipped his own coffee and curled his lip up as he sighed quietly after he swallowed the brown liquid. 


“I know what you want. But you're asking me to choose between my home, my job, my livelihood and my husband. How do you expect me to do that so easily?” 


“Because home should be wherever I am.” Frank said. 


My heart dropped to my stomach. Frank wasn’t my home, he never could be again. Jamie and Fergus are my home. 


“It’s not that simple, Frank.” I exhaled sharply.


“But it is , my darling,” he tucked a loose curl behind my ear and I fought everything within me to stop myself from flinching at his touch. 


“Just let me think about it?” I gave him a weak smile, he nodded and kissed the back of my hand. 


“I have a work dinner this evening, will you join me?” 


“What?!” I furrowed my brows. “Frank, you’ve been out all week.” I shook my head in disbelief. 


“I have told you I needed to sort things for New York. Come on, darling. The Graham’s would love to see you.” He placed a soft hand on my shoulder and I shrugged him off. 


“No, Frank. I don’t want to go to your snobby work dinners.” I scoffed. 


“Fine! If that’s the way you want to be, suit your bloody self.” He huffed and stood from the sofa, I watched his shoulders stiffen as he fixed his suit jacket. 


“Have a nice day.” I mumbled under my breath. 


“Sort yourself out, Claire. You’re a fucking mess.” He snorted, stormed out of the room and slammed the door. 




Hours later, I found myself sitting at a bar in the centre of town. Knee deep in gin. I sat at the noisy bar, watching life pass me by. People chatting and laughing. Couples showing extreme PDA. And here I was, sad and alone. Pathetic. 


I pulled my phone out of my bag and dialled Geilis’ number. It rang out for about 10 seconds before my best friend's thick, Scottish accent blessed my ears. 


“Hello, my lovely Beauchamp.” She chirped. 


“Hey,” I said, somewhat deflated. 


“O’ shite. What’s wrong wi’ ye?” 


“Nothing! I’m fine!” I lied. 


“Claire Elizabeth, I ken when yer no’ alright. Ye canna lie tae me!” She scolded, tutting under her breath. 


“Well, I suppose I’m not completely alright…” I sighed, staring down into my empty glass and tracing the rim with my finger. 


“Where the devil are ye?” 


“Some sleazy bar.” I snorted and ushered the bartender to come over. 


“I’ll have a double gin and tonic, thanks.” I smiled at him. 


“Christ! A double! Yer orderin’ doubles? What has happened tae my Claire?” She feigned shock. 


“Stop! I just need to forget about life for one night.” I said. 


“Would this have anything at all to do wi’ yer wee fox cub?” I could picture her damn eyebrow raise. 


Everything.” I said, a little groan escaping my lips as I sighed and thanked the bartender for my gin. I took a large gulp and softly shook my head as the alcohol burnt my throat. 


“So, ye fucked him?” Geillis deadpanned.


“No!” I said matter of factly. 


“Ye SO did.” 


“I did not,” I protested and gritted my teeth. 


“But ye want tae?” 


“Yes, so fucking bad you wouldn’t believe, I have pictured every damn scenario. You would think I was a sex manic with the way I -“ 


“Claire?!” I was interrupted by a voice that wasn’t Geillis’. 


Shit . My heart began to race. 


I cleared my throat. “Geillis…I’ll….call you back, love you bye.” I put the phone down before she could even respond. 


I turned to my left, swallowed hard and felt my hands begin to tremble. “Jamie.” I whispered. 


“What…are you doing here?” I shook my head, in complete shock. 


“Same thing as ye, havin’ a drink.” He shrugged and sat on the stool next to me. 


“Would you like a whisky?” I said, my voice a little quiet and shaky. 


“Aye,” he curled his lip up into a semi smile. There it was, that little smirk.


I ordered Jamie a drink and continued to sip on my own. 


“How’s Fergus?”


“How have ye been?” We said in unison. 


I let out a low chuckle. “You first.” 


“Aye, how are ye?” He said, taking his glass to his lips and taking a small sip of the liquid gold. 


“I - I’m fine.” I lied.


“Aye, that’s good.” 


“And you? Fergus?” I offered him a small smile but I couldn’t bring myself to give him eye contact. 


“He’s well. He is out wi’ a friend from school, movies and dinner or something.” He shrugged. 


“Ah, that’s nice.” The tension between us was unbearable. It was like we barely knew each other and I hated it. 


We exchanged smiles and silently continued to drink our drinks. 


Just as I was mustering up the courage to start a conversation, he spoke. 


“Have ye really been fine?” His voice came as a whisper and I barely heard him. 


“No,” I shook my head. “You?”


“Nahh, a nighean .” 


I nodded at him, fully understanding. 


“I felt like I haven’t seen you in so long and it’s only been a week.” I let out a humorless laugh at my own ridiculousness. 


“Aye, ye and me both.” He ordered another whisky and gestured at my empty glass for another gin, I nodded in acceptance. 


“I missed you.” I said, my voice soft and quiet, yet so powerful and truthful. 


“I missed ye, mo nighean bhòidheach.” (My beautiful lass)


He reached out to me, I placed my hand in his and he brought it to his mouth and gently brushed his lips across my knuckles before turning my hand over and placing a soft kiss on my palm.


“I have missed your touch, Jamie.” I scooted my stool closer and placed my hand on his knee. He looked down and smiled warmly. 


“Aye, as have I, yers.” He pushed my hair out of my face and cupped my cheek in his palm. “I would verra much like tae kiss ye now, may I?” He swallowed hard, awaiting my response. “Yes.” He brushed his wet lips against mine and I naturally melted into him. We kept it pretty PG considering we were in public and as soon as the thought came to my mind I pulled away. 


“Sorry! I just realised we’re in public and could easily be seen.” I shook my head and moved my stool slightly backwards. 


“Nobody kens us here, lassie.” He tutted. 


“No, but someone could know Frank and recognise me! Never mind, we just can’t do that so…openly.” I took a large gulp of my drink to wash away my dry throat that came the minute I thought about someone telling Frank. 


He couldn’t find out this way, not by anyone other than me.


Jamie and I chatted for a while, we were on our third round when the song ‘My Brown Eyed Girl’ came on and Jamie started bobbing his head and swaying in his seat. “I love this one.” He smiled. 


“Yes, it’s a classic.” 


He started humming along to the song and mouthing the words in silence. He had another large drink of his whisky and then started to actually sing aloud which made my cheeks flush and my heart flutter. 


“Makin’ love in the green grass, behind the stadium with you…” he sang, I started laughing and shaking my head. He pointed at me and sang. “My brown haired girl, You.” He nudged me. “My brown haired girl.” He flexed his shoulders and pulled me off the stool, spinning me around and wrapping his arms around me. 


“You changed the words.” I giggled at him and laughed like I haven’t for a long time as he ground his body against mine to the rhythm of the music. “Aye, cos ye are my brown haired lass.” He owl-winked and spun me around and around until I was dizzy and collapsed into his arms. My chest was heaving and I was trying to catch my breath, he stopped and held me for a moment, our eyes catching and having a conversation of their own. 


“Let’s get out of here. Take me home.” I whispered in his ear; he licked his lips and nodded. 


“As ye wish, Sassenach.” He gave me a knowing look and placed his hand on the swell of my hip, gently pinching. “I’ll call us a cab.” 

Chapter Text


We found ourselves falling into Jamie’s front door as opposed to walking through it. Giggling like school kids, he fumbled in his jeans pocket for the house keys and when he finally retrieved them he dropped them onto the floor. He snorted and shook his head, I bent down and picked them up. Jamie grunted from behind me and groped my arse cheek. “I missed this wee arse.”


“I thought you said it was large and round?” I raised a brow at him over my shoulder and unlocked the door. 


“Aye, tis.” He smirked and ushered me into the house. My heeled shoes clicked along the hardwood floor as I made my way into the kitchen. “Whisky?” 


“Mmhm,” he nodded whilst shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up on the coat rail. 


“Is Fergus staying at his friend's house?” I asked, pulling two tumblers from the cupboard. “Aye.” Jamie leaned against the wooden door frame. 


“Claire?” He said. 


“Yes?” I turned to face him and placed my hands on my hips, tilting my head slightly. 


“Ye look so fucking good tonight.” He licked his lips and allowed his eyes to trail from my toes to the top of my head. 


I felt intimidated by his stare. My cheeks began to flush and I shook my head in disagreement. “This old thing?” I looked down at my small cocktail dress and heeled shoes.


“Who were ye tryin’ tae impress?” He raised a suspicious brow. 


“I wasn’t trying to impress anyone . I wanted to dress up and go out - make myself feel good.” I mumbled under my breath and nervously played with the hem of my dress. 


“Good fer ye,” he nodded and stepped into the kitchen, slowly making his way towards me. “I missed lookin’ at ye.” he hummed and brought his fingertips up to my clavicle where he traced his soft hands across my bare skin. I sucked in a breath and held onto the kitchen work surface for support. 


“You have?” I whispered, my eyes never left his stare. 


He smiled and nodded. “Of course I have. I have done nothing but burn for ye these past 7 days.” He sighed and moved his fingers to my shoulders where he started to draw lazy patterns. 


“Me too,” I admitted. “I still think we should stick to what we said. It’s only another week until Fergus’ birthday.” I sighed regretfully. 


“Aye, I ken ye’re right, Sassenach.” He grimaced. “But,” he licked his lips. “The way ye look tonight, wi’ yer hair loose, yer eyes glistening, yer round arse wedged in that wee dress, yer smooth and long legs, and…” he said, bringing his hand up to cup my breast over my dress. “Yer wee breasts, pushed up and looking so…lovely.” He groaned, and bent his head to brush his lips across my exposed neck.


“Jamie,” I gasped as his tongue flicked across my skin, goosebumps arose in the wake of his touch. I clutched him tight by his shoulders and sucked in a harsh breath. 


“Don't start what you can’t finish.” My head lolled to the side as he moved his lips up my neck and to my jaw. He pulled back slightly and smirked at me. “Och, I can finish, dinna ye worry yerself about that.” He bent down and lifted me by my thighs, he sat me on the kitchen top and moved himself between my legs. His hands running up and down each thigh. 


“We…” I moaned as he pressed his mouth against the base of my throat. “Can’t.” I stuttered. His hand made its way up the inside of my dress and when his fingers grazed my hips, I let out a scandalous moan. Begging my body not to betray my mind. “Please.” 


“What is it, a nighean? ” He hummed in my ear. 


“We have to stop…” I whispered and tried my best to steady my breathing. 


He stopped in his tracks and sighed in defeat. “Aye,” he said, hanging his head low and backing away from me, turning to the tumblers, he picked up the glass and threw back the whole dram. 


He sighed heavily when the liquid burnt his throat. I stayed frozen on the kitchen surface, unable to think above my aroused state. “I’m sorry.” I whispered and shimmied myself off the side, when I landed on my feet and I readjusted my dress and flattened out the material. 


I moved past Jamie to retrieve my own whisky and followed him in throwing it all back. I winced and hiccuped at the harsh liquid sliding down my esophagus. 


“Dinnae fash, Sassenach.” He shook his head. 


“Please don’t think that it’s because I don’t want this - I do - I really do…but -“


“Just not now?” He looked up at me through fair lashes and gave me a weak smile. 


“Yes,” I nodded in agreement and filled up our glasses for another dram. “I still have a lot to think about, Jamie. I need to process Frank moving to New York and how this is going to change everything. ” 


“I understand, Claire. Truly.” He placed a reassuring hand on my arm and gave me a gentle squeeze. “I don’t deserve you.” I smiled and felt the tears pooling on my lower lashes. 


“Ye deserve the world, my Sassenach.” He pulled me into a warm hug, I felt safe. For the first time in this past week I felt like I finally belonged, like I was meant to be in his arms. He kissed my forehead and rubbed his palm soothingly against my back. 


“Let’s get ye home,” he mumbled into my mass of locks.


I am home, Jamie.” 




Jamie drove me back to my house, he opened the passenger door for me and kissed the back of my hand as he bid me goodnight, ever the gentleman. 


He stood leaning against his car with his arms folded across his chest as he watched me make my way up the path to my front door. Once I had unlocked it I gave him one last glance and blew him a kiss. He smirked and pretended to catch it and pocket it. I shook my head and laughed at him, he waved me off and spun around in his car before speeding out of my road. I sighed heavily as I quietly closed the door behind me and locked it. 


I removed my heels and tiptoed into the lounge, the house was pitch black and in complete silence. I chucked my bag to the floor and fumbled across the cold wall in search of the light switch, I flicked it on and as I scanned the room I saw Frank sitting on the sofa cradling a bottle of whisky. “Jesus!” I exclaimed, I brought my hand up to my chest and held it against my heart. “Frank, you scared the living shit out of me.” He did not respond, he only looked me up and down and frowned as if he loathed what he saw. 


“Where have you been?” He spat, finally acknowledging me. 


“Out,” I said nonchalantly. 


“In that dress?” He said with a look of disgust. 


“Yes.” I said, walking over to him and taking the bottle out of his hand and taking a large gulp. 


“Very classy,” he snorted. 


“Oh fuck you,” I spat. 


“Who have you been out with? And why were they more important than coming to dinner with me?” He raised a questionable brow and retrieved the bottle from my hand. 


“I went out alone.” 




“Yes. And I ended up bumping into Jamie and he gave me a lift back.” I said, sitting myself down on the edge of the sofa and crossing my legs. 


“Jamie? As in your boss, Jamie?” He said in revulsion. 


“Yes.” My tone was apathetic, I shrugged my shoulders and pushed myself further back into the sofa. 


“Why are you socialising with your boss?” He pressed. 


“Because I am actually allowed to have friends, Frank.” I knitted my brows together and ran a lazy hand through my locks. 


“You have friends, Geillis, Joe, Mrs Graham..” 


I snorted and shook my head. “Mrs Graham is not my friend.” 


“What an awful thing to say, Claire. She has been nothing but kind to you.” He grunted under his breath and took another large sip of whisky. 


“I never said she hadn’t.” I retorted and took the bottle from him once more and threw back a large gulp.


“And so going out with this ‘ Jamie ’ is more appealing to you than coming to dinner with your husband and friends?” He said in disbelief. 


“Uh-huh.” I nodded. “I told you they aren’t my friend’s - they’re yours. Plus, I would rather not make small talk with a bunch of stuck up, pointy nosed, pompous arseholes.


“What the fuck has gotten into you, Claire?” He narrowed his eyes at me and formed his lips into a harsh line. 


Nothing - at - all!” I deadpanned. 


“We are supposed to be going to the Charity Ball for Fostering and Adopting tomorrow with the Graham’s, you know it’s close to their hearts with having an adopted child. Have you forgotten?” He raised a questioning brow. 


“Shit! That’s tomorrow?” I groaned and rolled my eyes.


“Please don’t tell me you're not coming.” He pleaded. 


“No, I will go with you. It’s for charity after all.” I sighed and buried my head into the back of the sofa. 


“Did - uh - did you have a nice evening?” He cleared his throat and he looked pained as he asked me the question. 


“Yes I did, actually. The first time in a while I’ve truly enjoyed myself.” I smiled and played with the hem of my dress. 


Frank pulled himself closer to me and placed his hand on my knee. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, my darling.” He rubbed his thumb on my bare skin and I felt a shudder down my spine. 


“But I thought you would be furious at me because I didn’t come out with you…” 


“Well, I can’t say that I am not hurt over it. But, I know you need time and space right now and if it helps you make the right decision for New York, then I’m all for it.” He placed his hand over my own and gave me a gentle squeeze. 


He said all of this because he thought it may benefit him . Not because he cared if I was happy or not, or that I was out enjoying myself with another man. He thinks by having a night out and feeling good it will make everything alright and I will be a good and obedient wife and follow him anywhere he wants me to. Well I won’t. And I don’t know what it’s going to take for him to realise that. 


“Come on, it’s late and we have a busy day tomorrow, let's get some sleep.” I smiled and lifted myself off of the couch, I took myself into the bedroom and through to the ensuite. I pulled my dress over my head, chucked it on the floor. My bra and panties followed. I donned a pink night dress and pulled my hair into a loose bun, letting the stray tendrils shape my face. 


I washed off my makeup, brushed my teeth and turned out the lights.


Climbing into bed Frank was already turned away from me curled up in a ball. The only sound in the room was his shallow breathing. I crept in beside him and pulled the duvet flush to my neck. 


Just as I closed my eyes, he spoke. “Claire?”


“Yes?” I whispered. 


“I love you.” He said, turned around to face me and traced his hand up my bare arm to my shoulder. I stayed silent, my breath caught in my throat. How long could I go on rejecting him? 


He moved over and placed a chaste kiss to my mouth, I didn’t encourage the kiss in any way I just stayed completely still. 


“Claire? What's wrong?” He whispered against my neck as he started to kiss his way down. 


I felt physically sick.


“I’m just so tired, I’m not in the mood, Frank.” I sighed heavily and let out the deep breath I was holding back. 


“You never want to anymore, what has gotten into you?” His tone became harsh. 


“I just don’t want to! Goodnight!” I snapped, I threw myself to the other side of the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head into the pillow, a silent tear rolled down my cheek and I begged myself not to sob. 


I couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t live like this anymore. I needed to set Frank free. The only way I knew to solve any of this was to tell him about Jamie and me. 


I just needed to figure out how to tell him. 


I couldn’t bear to break his heart, but for once in my life, I had to put my heart first. I couldn’t break my own heart any longer, and the more time I was away from Jamie, the more I shattered. 

Chapter Text

“Shit!” I growled in annoyance. “Nothing looks good.” I studied myself in the mirror as I donned over ten different dresses for tonight’s Charity Ball. I really fucking didn’t want to attend, but I had little choice in the matter and I knew it was for a fantastic cause. 


I wondered what Jamie would think about me attending an event as such with my arm in Frank’s. Oh, how I wished it was Jamie. I could see myself with him, his arm snaked around my waist as he held me close to him. Smiling at other guests and making small talk, introducing each other as our better halves. 


I laughed at myself at the notion of being so naive and pathetic. We could never have a life like that. Everyone I knew would see me as the unfaithful wife, the adulteress, the betrayer. 


I pulled myself out of my negative thoughts and tried on my eleventh dress, praying this would be the one so I could get out of this god forsaken shop. 


It was a knee length, dark teal, lace dress with long sleeves and a rounded neckline. It was really rather beautiful and I thought the colour would definitely suit my pale complexion. I pulled it over my head and struggled with the zipper at the back, twisting my hand up behind me and only managing to get it as far as my shoulder blade, I cursed myself and lifted a hand over my shoulder to pull it up to my neck. 


Once it was zipped, I stood back and admired myself in the full length mirror. It was cute, not too much, not too little. It grazed my knees and sat comfortably on my hips, it went in at the waist slightly enhancing my shape. After long and deep consideration, I finally decided that I would wear this dress and match it with a pair of plain black spaghetti strap heels. 


After I purchased my new dress, $200 later. Cheers, Frank. I made my way over to the hairdressers across the street for my appointment. I decided to have my hair up and some loose curls around my face. I had asked the hairdresser to put a hair piece in my bun just to funk it up a little. 


I strolled through the town centre and decided to stop for a coffee before I headed back to the house to get myself ready for this evening. Ordering myself a large decaf hazelnut latte, I paid, thanked the barista and left. 


My phone buzzed in my pocket. 

Jamie Fraser : Still all good to come to Fergus’ birthday with us?


Claire Randall: I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Jamie.


Jamie Fraser: Good. I will book the cabin with the extra bedroom for you.


Claire Randall: Thank you. It’s just for the weekend, right?


Jamie Fraser: Aye. Friday - Monday.


Claire Randall: Perfect. I’ll see you Friday, Fraser. 😉


Jamie Fraser: I’m counting down the hours, Sassenach. 

I smiled to myself like a damn fool. I must’ve looked absolutely crazy standing in the middle of the town centre smiling at my phone like I had just won the lottery or something. I decided it might be a good idea to delete all of my messages with Jamie. I don’t believe Frank would intentionally go through my private stuff but if he ever saw these texts it would hurt him more than if it were to come from my mouth. 


I pushed my phone back into my pocket, took a sip of my coffee and headed back home.




“Claire! We’re leaving in 5 minutes.” Frank shouted through the bedroom door. 


“Alright, I’m coming.” I huffed, giving myself one final stroke of thick black mascara, a swipe of red lipstick and a spritz of my favourite Estée Lauder.


I flattened out my dress, grabbed my clutch from the end of the bed, tucked a tendril behind my ear and made my way to Frank who was waiting patiently in the hall. He donned a black pantsuit and white shirt; he had also gone as far as getting the same coloured tie as my dress. I rolled my eyes at him when he told me he wanted us to ‘match.’ 


What’re we, 5 year old twin girls? I thought. 


“Ah, Claire. You look nice.” He smiled at me softly and opened the front door to usher me out. 


“Thanks,” I mumbled under my breath and made my way to his vehicle.


“Off we go,” he smiled as he put the car into drive and sped out of our street.



The room was absolutely magnificent, it was filled with Crystal chandeliers and tall glass candle holders. The tiled floor sparkled as the light reflected upon it. There were multiple tables covered in pink and grey roses and the seatings were white with silver velvet cushions; it was simply beautiful. The room also had a stage and a dance floor, currently the stage was filled with information boards on fostering and adopting children. There was a stall filled with all kinds of different information leaflets about the types of fostering and the eventual adoption. There was also a lot of information about the charity itself, their motto and their mission.


Written in large letters across the room was a quote. 


                      If you can’t adopt,


                      If you can’t foster,


                      If you can’t sponsor, 


                     If you can't volunteer,


                     If you can't donate,


Those words really touched me, and I found myself thinking of little Fergus, he was in and out of foster care for the majority of his earlier childhood. If it wasn’t for Jamie adopting him and taking him as his own son, he may still be looking for his forever home now. It made my stomach churn at the thought. But Fergus is one of many children that have been or are still in foster care settings. Not all children are as lucky as Fergus. 


We made our way over to the bar, greeting people as we passed. “What do you want, darling?” Frank said, placing his hand on the small of my back. “Gin and tonic, please.” I smiled and Frank nodded and ordered our drinks in.


We collected our drinks and made our way over to the Graham’s. 


“Claire! It’s so lovely to see you,” Mrs Graham greeted me with a kiss to each cheek. I smiled politely at her and nodded. “You too.” 


“You look lovely, my dear.” Mr Graham said, tentatively touching my arm. I thanked him and took a small sip from my gin. 


We stood there for some time, I mainly stayed silent as Frank was engaged in deep conversation over New York. I was about to ask Frank if we could go over and look at some of the stalls when I felt a warm and familiar hand on my right shoulder. “Claire.” I stopped dead. I knew that voice, I could pick it out a mile away. I stayed frozen for what seemed like a lifetime, I gulped and squeezed my eyes closed momentarily. 


I slowly turned on my heel to come face to face with an extremely dashing, broad and tall Highlander. He was wearing black pants, a crisp white shirt and a black tie. His top button was undone and I noticed the pulse beating in his throat. My mouth instantly went dry and my stomach flipped at the very sight of him. 


“J-Jamie,” I puffed out a breath and gave him my best smile. He leaned over and placed his hand flat on my hip, he bent his head and placed a kiss on my cheek. My heart began to race and I felt as though my legs had gone to complete jelly. 


“What - what’re you, uhm, doing here.” My voice was shaky and I felt my hands trembling as I fiddled with my dress sleeve. 


“Och, the distillery is the main sponsor for tonight’s event. Ye ken wi’ Fergus bein’ adopted an’all, tis verra close to us as a family.” He feigned profession, I didn’t know whether I wanted to slap him or kiss him. 


“Oh,” I muttered. “Oh, how terribly rude of me. Jamie, this is Mr and Mrs Graham, and of course you know Frank.” I let out a humorless laugh. Jamie nodded to the Graham’s and extended his hand to shake. 


“Mr Randall,” he said, greeting Frank and politely shaking his hand. “Nice to see you again.” Frank said under his breath and when he let go of Jamie’s hand he huddled closer to me and slipped his arm around me. I saw Jamie’s jaw instantly tense.


Oh my God - this is the worst moment of my life. 


“What’re ye doin’ here?” He turned to me and smiled. “Oh, well, Frank’s boss and his wife invited us some time ago.” I looked at them and gave them a weak smile. 


“Aye. Weel, I best go and find Murtagh. Maybe I’ll see ye both for a wee dram later.” 


“Oh yes, of course, Jamie.” I waved him off as he departed. I felt like my body was levitating, surely this wasn’t happening right now? 


“Come on, sweetheart, let’s find a table.” Frank murmured in my ear. 




Some hours later, we had all sat down and had our evening meal, the wine was flowing and so was the conversation. I couldn’t take my eyes away from Jamie throughout the evening, and when I wasn’t looking at him I felt his gaze burning into me. And every little touch Frank made, I could feel Jamie’s anger from across the room. 


Frank excused himself from the table to use the bathroom but before he left, he took me by surprise by bending down and pressing a hard kiss to my lips. I had to reciprocate, we were in public and I am his wife, why would I not return his kiss?


When Frank had gone, I let my gaze fall to Jamie, who was staring at me in disbelief. Just as I was about to look away my phone buzzed. I pulled it out from my clutch and saw a text from Jamie. 


Jamie Fraser : Outside, Now. 


I looked over at him and raised my brow, he simply nodded, excused himself from the table and casually made his way out of the door. 


I left it a few moments before telling the Graham’s I needed to make a phone call and to tell Frank I would be back in a minute.


I hurried out of the large room and made my way down a dark and long corridor.


“Jamie?” I whispered. No answer. 


“Jamie!” I repeated. The next thing I knew a pair of strong arms came around me and pulled me into a side room, once we were in there it was actually a broom closet. There was an overhead light but it was dimly lit. 


“What the hell?” I exclaimed, before I could say anymore Jamie’s warm and familiar mouth was attacking my own. I returned his kiss with just as much force, he pushed me back so I fell against the closed door. He swiped his tongue across my bottom lip and I happily accepted, our tongues met in a dance and our hands roamed. I felt the slick heat growing between my thighs and I wanted him so bad. I tightly cupped him from the outside of his suit pants and he groaned in response. “Dinna start what ye canna finish.” He smirked at me as he repeated my own words back to me. “Oh fuck you,”

I growled as I fumbled with his fly. He caught my hand, stopping me from continuing. 


“I would love to, Sorcha. But as ye say, no’ right now.” He winked, he knew exactly what he was doing. 


“Really? You bastard.” I shook my head and pulled him by the back of his neck, bringing his lips back to mine. 


“Jesus Christ, Claire. Ye make me mad, woman.” He moaned into my mouth and I made a point of pressing my crotch against his.


“Ye look so beautiful Claire, God! I couldna take my eyes from ye.” He panted in my ear. 


“So do you, and I couldn’t stop looking at you, either.”


“And when he kissed ye just now, and ye kissed him back I felt as if ye reached into my chest and tore out my very heart.” He pressed his forehead against mine and sighed.


“I’m sorry, I have to…” I whispered, bringing my thumb up to his lips and tracing the swollen flesh. 


“I ken. But I dinna ken how long I can cope wi’ this, I want ye, all of ye, mine.” He growled. 


“I know, me too. Soon, I promise.” I pressed a soft kiss to his mouth and pulled back. “I need to get back out there.” I furrowed my brows and shook my head. “I really am sorry, Jamie.” 


“Aye, a nighean. Ye will do the right thing, eventually.” He smiled at me softly. 


“Are you coming?” I said reaching for the door handle. 


“Nae, I dinnae think it’ll look good - us coming out of the closet together. Plus I have a wee situation that needs to go down before I go back out there.” He turned his lip up into a half smile and I couldn’t help but giggle at him. 


“As you wish, blue eyes.” 




I returned back to the table after I had flattened out my dress and fixed my hair. Beaming at Frank, I pulled the chair out next to him. 


“Do you want another drink, darling?” Frank asked, nodding to my empty gin glass. 


“Oh, that’d be lovely.” I nodded back and Frank stood from his chair and turned to the Graham’s to ask if they also wanted a drink. 


I noticed Jamie coming back into the room and sitting at an empty table alone, I shouted over to Frank before he got too far away. “Order a single malt, neat. For Jamie.” I feigned a polite smile and he rolled his eyes and nodded. 


I pushed myself off the chair and made my way over to Jamie, as soon as I was in his line of view his lip curled into a small smile. 

“Claire?” He said, softly. 


“Frank’s ordered you a whisky, if you’d like to join us.” I smiled and ushered him over to our table, he nodded and pushed his chair in and followed slowly behind me. 


“Stop looking at my arse, Fraser.” I whispered but loud enough so he could hear me. 


“I cannae help it, it’s looking at me.” He sighed in complete satisfaction. 


As we approached our table, the Graham’s greeted Jamie once again and he took a seat next to me, leaving only one seat for Frank opposite Jamie and I. 


He returned to the table with our drinks in hand, he eyed Jamie up and down as he saw him sat next to me. “Guess I’ll sit here then,” he cleared his throat and rolled his eyes so far they could’ve rolled into the back of his head. Jamie scooted his chair further into the table and thanked Frank before taking a small sip of whisky. 


“Ooof, tis braw that.” He smirked as he took another taste. 


“So, Randall, New York.” Mr Graham said, I felt my chest instantly tighten and my throat close over. 


“Ah! Yes! Spectacular city, the job isn’t too bad either.” Frank joked.


“And Claire? Are you looking forward to it, my dear?” Mrs Graham asked, a kind and soft look in her eyes. 


Ah, I did feel sorry for her.


“Ah, uh, well….we aren’t really sure what’s going to happen with that, actually.” I raised my brows and offered a weak smile.


I felt Jamie’s warm and soft hand grazing my knee under the table and my breath caught in my throat at the sudden contact. He traced his forefinger around the outline of my kneecap and I felt myself begin to tremble. 


“Whatever do you mean?” Mr Graham said, raising his glass of red to his lips, slightly swirling the liquid around the glass and taking a small sip. 


“Oh, well, we haven’t decided if I will be accompanying Frank, yet.” 


“Of course you will! You're his wife! ” Mr Graham tutted and flashed Frank a smirk and let out a humorless laugh. 


I felt Jamie’s hand grip my leg, his fingernails digging into my flesh caused my head to spin and my pulse to quicken.


“Yes, well. We will see.” I smiled behind my gin glass and cleared my throat after the harsh liquid slid down my throat. 


“Jamie, how’s Fergus? I presume he’s well?” I changed the subject and turned to look at Jamie. 


His jaw slackened and his eyes softened. “Aye, he’s a braw laddie.” 


“I’m glad he’s feeling better.” 


“He’s missed ye, though. He cannae wait to see ye at the beach for his birthday.” Jamie smirked and slid his hand further up my leg, cupping the flesh of my thigh.


“Birthday? Beach?” Frank interjected and raised a suspicious brow. 


I felt my heart stop in my chest and my face redden. “Yes, Jamie and Fergus invited me to their beach cabin for his birthday.” I said as calmly as I could. 


“Oh,” Frank retorted. “Well, darling, I don’t think you are able to attend. We have much to do for New York.” He shrugged nonchalantly.


I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. “We will discuss it at home.” I sighed. 


Jamie threw back the last of his whisky and slammed down his glass on the table. “Thanks fer the drink.” He nodded at Frank. “Tis getting late and I have tae get home tae Fergus.” 

He bent his head to the side and placed a soft kiss to my cheek, his hand gripped tight on my thigh as his lips brushed against my soft porcelain skin. 


“Goodnight.” He turned to Frank and the Graham’s and offered them a gentle smile.


Frank was seething.


“I’ll see you out.” I coughed and stood from my chair.




“What the hell was that?!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms across my chest. 


“What was what?” Jamie feigned innocence. 


“You know what ! Back there, touching me under the table and kissing me in front of Frank! Knowing exactly what you were doing to me.” I puffed out a frustrated breath and shook my head. 


“Aye, I ken what I was doin’, I’m sorry.” He pushed his hands into his suit pockets and rocked back on his feet. 


“You can’t do that while he’s around, Jamie.” I said, softness growing in my tone. 


“Aye,” he mumbled under his breath. 


“I guess ye’re not comin’ tae Fergus’ birthday, then?” He asked, he scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows. 


Why did he have to be so fucking sexy?


“I never said I wasn’t.” 


“Aye, yer man did.” 


“He does not make my decisions.” I said, stepping forward into his personal space. 


“Now, go home to Fergus. I will see you on Friday.” I stood on my tippy toes and brushed my lips against his stubbled jaw. 


Pulling away, I walked backwards a few steps, my eyes never left his, I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and smirked. “Goodnight, again, Fraser.” 

Chapter Text


We arrived back home shortly after Jamie had left. The car ride back was pretty silent between Frank and I, and I felt the awkward tension in the air. When we got into the house he didn’t speak, he shrugged his suit jacket off and his shoes. 


I toed off my heels and turned the lights on. Frank stood in the middle of the room fumbling with his tie and cuffs. 


“Fancy a nightcap?” I raised a brow at him. 


“Hmm.” He mumbled under his breath and sat down on the couch. 


I took myself off into the kitchen and poured us a dram.


When I returned to the lounge Frank was sitting with his head in his lap. “What’re you doing?” I said, bending down and putting the drink on the table in front of him. 


“Just having a minute,” he sighed. I placed my hand on his shoulder but he shrugged me off. I sat beside him and took a sip from my whisky. “What’s going on?” I whispered.


“You tell me, Claire.”


“What is that supposed to mean?” I scoffed. 


“You and Jamie, what’s going on?” He deadpanned. 


“What?!” My heart started to race and all of a sudden it was really hot in this room. 


“I’ve seen how he looks at you, Claire, you think I’m stupid.” He shook his head and finally sat up. 


“Oh you’re being ridiculous,” I brushed him off, swallowing the harsh lump in my throat. 


“Well if there’s nothing going on, then he wants there to be.” He took the whisky from the table and took a large sip. 


I sighed and rubbed my temples in frustration. “What is it you’re accusing me of, Frank?” 


“Nothing! I don’t know - maybe I just don’t like the way he acts around you.” 


“We have bigger things to worry about right now. Like New York.” I puffed out a shaky breath. 


“And what of it? Have you come to your decision?” He finally made eye contact with me and I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed down.


“Yes I have. I’m not going, Frank.” I felt a twinge in my heart. 


“But….you have to!” He protested. 


“I can’t - won’t do this again! Upheaving my life for you, I can’t do it. I am here now, I am happy and I am not going to lose all of that.” I sighed and pushed myself up from the couch. 


“But we are fucking married!” He growled and slammed his whisky glass down on the table making me jump slightly. 


“Do you not think I know that?!” I scoffed and folded my arms tight around my chest.


“Clearly you don’t care.” He smirked and let out a humourless laugh. 


“I do! ” I spat. “But I’ve been keeping you happy for the best part of our marriage that I forgot how to be happy myself.” I couldn’t think of anything but the sound of my own heart beat drumming in my ears. 


“Do I not make you happy, Claire?” He asked, his voice softened. 


“Not like you once used to, no…” I whispered under my breath. 


“But if you come to New York with me, I can change that.” He pleaded.


“Fuck! You still can’t fucking listen to me! I am NOT going to New York, Frank.” 


“You can’t just fuck me over like this!” He screamed, pushing himself up and standing in front of me. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes closed momentarily.


“I…” I couldn’t get my words out. 


“I will not let you do this!” He spat, turning on his heel and pacing about the living room. 


“I can’t be around you anymore.” I let out a frustrated breath and placed my hands on my hips. 


“What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips into a firm line. 


“Exactly what I said. I can’t do this anymore.” I walked out of the living room and headed to my bedroom. I quickly found my suitcase and packed as much stuff as I possibly could. 


“Come on Claire, what’re you doing?!” Frank followed behind me. 


“I'm going. I need some time away from you. All we ever do is fucking argue and wear each other down. Well, not anymore.” I shook my head as I headed over to my chest of drawers to retrieve some underwear and pyjamas. 


“Are you leaving me?” He whispered. 


“I don’t know.” I shrugged and zipped up my suitcase. “All I know is, I can’t do this right now.” I pulled my case off the bed and headed back through the lounge. 


“Please, Claire. I’m sorry.” He pleaded. 


“I’m not listening to any more excuses, Frank.” I pulled my coat from the stand and threw it over my shoulders. I then slipped on a pair of converse and headed through to the hall. 


“Don’t do this to us !” He growled at me. 


“No! Don’t put this on me. You did this. You started it, now I’m finishing it.” I spat.


“You’ll regret this.” 


“I won’t be back for at least 5 days.” I huffed. 


“Jesus, Claire.” 


“Goodbye, Frank.” I opened the front door, let it slam shut behind me and headed to my car. I opened the boot, threw my case in and climbed into the front seat. 


I sighed heavily as I started the ignition. 


Frank stayed at the front door watching me. I pulled out of the drive, spun around and flew out of the street. 




“Sassenach, what’re ye doin?” Jamie furrowed his brows as he opened the front door to me. 


“Can I stay here, please?” I stood awkwardly with my hands in my coat pockets. I realised how ridiculous I must look with my dress from the charity ball still on, my coat and converse trainers. 


“Christ, of course. Get in here.” Jamie stepped aside and ushered me in.


I dumped my case at the bottom of the stairs and unbuttoned my coat. 


“I’ll just stay in the spare room, if that’s alright?” I offered him a weak smile and he nodded. 


“Do ye want some tea or a whisky?” He asked. 


“Umm, I think I’ll have tea.” I untied my shoes and sat them neatly on the shoe rack. 


“Aye,” he curled his lip up into a smile and made his way to the kitchen, I dragged myself slowly behind. 


“Do ye wanna talk about it?” He asked softly as he prepared the tea. 


“Not really,” I huffed. “He just wasn’t listening to me and I couldn’t be around him.” I pulled out my usual chair and sat myself down. 


“Does he know?” Jamie cleared his throat and passed the tea over. 


“Know what?” I raised a brow and blew on the hot liquid before taking a small sip. 


“About us?” He shrugged and sat himself opposite me. 


“Christ! No!” I chuckled. 


“Oh,” he nodded. “Did he mention me?”


“Yes, he said he didn’t like the way you look at me.” I blushed slightly and hid my face behind the large mug. 


“And what did ye say tae that?” He pressed. 


“Nothing really, I just said it was ridiculous.” I said, nonchalantly. 


“Is it?” 




“Ridiculous.“ He furrowed his brow. 


“Well no, but what else was I supposed to say?” I frowned at him and had another drink of tea. He sighed heavily and didn’t say anything. “I’m no’ looking for an argument wi’ ye tonight, Sassenach.” 


“Yes, well, neither am I.” I shrugged. 


I cleared my throat and thought it best to change the subject. “So! Fergus’ birthday?”


“What about it?” Jamie said, picking up his glass and drinking the last of the whisky he had obviously chosen over tea. 


“I just wanted to know the plans.” 


“Aye, weel, we’re goin’ tae the beach cabin no’ too far from here. Jocasta’s family own it, ye ken? Sae I booked it from them.” He nodded. 


“So are they not coming?” I asked.


“Nae, tis only three bedrooms. One for each of us.” He shrugged. 


“I see.”


“We’ll leave here around lunchtime tomorrow, should give us a wee bit of time tae get settled and enjoy the day.” Jamie smiled and tapped his fingers against the kitchen table.


“I think it’s time to go to bed.” I looked down at my watch realising the time. 


Jamie smirked. “Tae bed? Or tae sleep?” He raised a questionable brow. 


“To sleep!” I rolled my eyes at him but couldn’t help the small smirk that was creeping up.


“Together or separately?” He tilted his head and pursed his bottom lip.


“Jamie!” I scolded. “Separately.” 


“Fine, yer loss. I’ll carry yer not-so-wee suitcase up tae yer room.” He stood from the table and collected our empty glasses.


After we ascended the stairs, Jamie opened the spare room and placed my suitcase by the wardrobe. “Well, then...” he said, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets and tensing his shoulders. 


“You can stay…for a while?” I shrugged. “Maybe just hold me for a little bit?” I whispered and darted my gaze away from him as embarrassment crept up my cheeks. 


“Aye, Sassenach. I’d love tae.” He gave me a cheeky grin and I opened my suitcase to retrieve my pyjamas. 


“You can look away, or you don’t have to. But just know, no funny business.” I warned. 


“Aye, dinna fash. Best behaviour.” He held his hands up in the air and I nodded. 


He didn’t turn around, he watched as I fumbled with the zipper on the back of my dress. I couldn’t reach it properly without twisting my arm. “Do ye need some assistance?” He coughed.


“I think I might.” I said, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “Do you mind?”


“Nah, no’ at all.” He stepped further into the room and I spun around for him. He pushed my hair off my neck and grazed his fingers gently over the soft skin at the top of my spine. I shivered at his touch. 


He slowly, agonisingly slowly, pulled down the zipper until it reached the top of my tailbone. He cleared his throat and placed his warm palm flat against my skin. He traced his finger up my spine, over to my shoulder blade and gently pushed the material off my shoulder. He then repeated the same for the other until my dress was a pool around my feet.


He moved his hand to my bra strap and gently hooked a finger around it, he pulled it down so it hung low on my shoulder. He then made his way to the clasp and swiftly unclasped it. I shrugged out of the bra and tossed it aside. I stayed still and couldn’t bring myself to turn around to face him. 


So I quickly grabbed my overnight T-shirt and threw it over my head. 


“Thanks,” I said under my breath. 


“Aye. Ye’re welcome.” He said, stepping a little further back from me. “Do ye mind if I take my shirt off and suit pants?” 


“Of course not.” I smiled softly and moved to the bed, pulling back the covers I climbed into the cold, crisp sheets. 


It didn’t take Jamie long before he was laying next to me, he lifted his arm and I scooted closer to him. I placed my head in the crook of his arm and sighed contently. 


Jamie nuzzled my hair and wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me flush to him. I laid my hand flat on his chest and felt the vibrations of his heart beat. I was instantly soothed. 


Mo nighean donn ,” he whispered. 


“Hmmhh?” I said, sleepily. 


“Are ye alright?” 


“I am now.” I placed a soft kiss on his clavicle and nuzzled myself back down. 


“Thank you Jamie.” 


“For what?” He said, even though it was dark I could picture him with a confused look on his face and the way his forehead would crease into a small frown. 


“Everything.” I sighed. 


“Ye dinnae need tae thank me, my Sassenach. Just get some rest, Aye? We’ve a busy day ‘morrow.” He kissed my forehead and I nodded against his lips.


“Goodnight, Mr Fraser.”


“Goodnight, mo Chridhe. ” 

Chapter Text


“Fergus, get yer bags in the boot.” Jamie shouted from the kitchen. “Alright, alright!” He bellowed. 


“Dinnae take that tone wi’ me.” Jamie snapped. “D’ye wanna go tae the beach?”


“Sorry, Da, I’ll do it now.” Fergus said under his breath — I found myself smirking behind Jamie. We had been awake for hours, even though we had said we weren’t sharing a bed. Jamie had accidentally fallen asleep in the spare room with me last night. Quite like the first time we ‘ slept’ together. And so, we woke up at the first sign of morning light. 


“We aren’t leaving for another couple of hours Jamie, leave him be.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.


“Who’s side are ye on?” Jamie whined, feigning hurt. 


“I am not on anybody’s side. I’m merely stating a fact.” I shrugged. 


“It seems like ye’re totally taking sides.” He pushed his bottom lip out. 


“Oh don’t sulk, it doesn’t suit you.” I smirked, striding over to him and patting him gently on the shoulder. He gripped my wrist tight in his hand and pulled me hard against him. His eyes scanned my face, his lip curled up and he darted his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. 


“I dinnae sulk.” He said, matter of factly. He dipped his head to meet my level and brushed his lips against my mouth. I melted into him for a second, we shared a quick kiss, but soon enough I pulled away remembering we weren’t alone in the house. 


“Fergus.” I whispered against Jamie’s lips. 

“Aye,” He sighed. “But I cannae keep from ye.” He softly rubbed his nose against mine and then reluctantly pulled back. 


“I know, me too,” I nodded. “We will figure it out.” I offered him a reassuring smile and he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. 



We arrived at the beach late afternoon, Jamie and I lugged all of our luggage out of the car and into the cabin. It was a lovely little cabin right on the beach. It had a small open kitchen which went into a living area with a small sofa and tv on the wall. There were three bedrooms, one at the front which was Fergus’ and then right down the hall were two next to each other which were mine and Jamie’s. 


I took my bags upstairs to the room and scanned my new home for the next couple of days. The bed was medium sized with fresh linens upon it. There was a small wardrobe opposite and double doors that opened out to a sea view patio. It was lovely. I started off by throwing my luggage onto the bed and unpacking some of my stuff. I hung up my beach robes and dresses in the wardrobe. I put my bikinis in the top draw next to my bed and took my toiletries to the bathroom opposite my room. Jamie and Fergus were also in their rooms putting their stuff away. 


“Claire?” Jamie shouted from the bedroom.






I dumped my clothes I had in my hand onto the bed and walked out of my room and to Jamie’s room. “What’s up?” I said, resting my hands on my hips. He was in his wardrobe hanging up jeans. 


“Ochhh, nothing, just wanted tae see what ye wanted tae do this afternoon?” He closed the wardrobe and strode over to stand in front of me. 


“Oh,” I shook my head. “I don’t mind, let’s ask Fergus.” I smiled. 


“Aye.” He curled his lip up into a smile. 


“Jamie?” I said, furrowing my brows. 




“Why have you brought jeans to the beach?” I half laughed. 


“Weel, why no?” He wiggled his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. 


“Because it’s a beach…who wears denim on a beach?” I folded my arms against my chest and leaned against the door. 


“Well I’m no’ exactly going tae be wearin’ them on the beach am I?” He rolled his eyes and shook his mop of curls. “They’re for if we go for dinner and such.” He shrugged. 


“Right. Let’s see what Fergus wants to do.”






We decided to go down to the beach and take a picnic with us. I donned a black bikini, fluorescent yellow beach cover up, and black sandals. I threw my hair into a bun atop my head. Chucked my beach bag over my shoulder and hat on my head and headed to wait for the boys downstairs. I shoved my sunglasses on my face and wiped the beads of sweat that were forming on my forehead. 


I heard movement coming from upstairs and soon Jamie and Fergus were descending the stairs. Jamie came down first with a pair of blue swim trunks hanging low on his hips. He had his shirt thrown over one shoulder and a towel on the other. He donned black framed ray bans and white sliders. If this were a cartoon movie, my jaw would have been on the floor. I was seriously swooning. 


Jamie looked me up and down and raised his brows. “What?” I said, feeling slightly self conscious. 


“Ye look like a lemon.” He nodded towards my beach coverup. 


“How rude! I love this colour! Do you not like it?” I frowned and gently pursed my lips. 


“Aye, Sassenach. Ye look bonnie.” 


“Hmmmh, okay, are you ready?” Jamie nodded and Fergus came from behind him with his full swimsuit on and his water ring and football. He was jumping with excitement. 


“Let me grab the food and drinks.” I smiled and headed to the kitchen to retrieve our picnic bags. 


“Okay, off we go.” I said, ushering the boys out of the house. 


Once we had found loungers and umbrellas we set up for the day, we placed a beach towel on the table between the loungers and opened up our food. I pulled out two plastic champagne glasses, I grabbed the bottle of fizz from the cooler bag and shook it at Jamie. 


“Ye came prepared.” He smirked. “Always.” I winked and popped the cork. I poured us a generous amount and pulled out a box of strawberries. I placed one in each glass. “Cheers,” I said, holding my glass up. Jamie retrieved his and clinked the glasses together. “Slàinte.” 


I took a large sip and licked my lips, humming in satisfaction. We got ourselves comfortable on the sun bed and watched as Fergus played with his football, running up and down the beach. I moved my sunglasses to balance on the tip of my nose so I could see him properly, I leaned back and watched as he kicked the ball to another little boy who was playing in the sand. I heard Fergus ask the child if he wanted to play with him and the small boy bounced on his toes with excitement at Fergus’ offer. I couldn’t help but smile. 


I pulled my beach coverup over my head and folded it up into my bag. Jamie watched me intently, never taking his eyes from my body. I tried not to acknowledge his extreme stare but I couldn’t help the flush of pink forming on my skin. I pulled out my sun lotion and poured a large amount into the palm of my hand, rubbing my legs and arms repeatedly. All the while Jamie’s gaze still bore, I cleared my throat before standing and creaming my belly and the exposed parts of my breasts and chest. I heard Jamie suck in a harsh breath and then exhale. 


“Will you do my back?” I shook the bottle of lotion at him. He nodded and made to stand. Coming behind me he squeezed the cream into his large, calloused hands. I moved my hair to the side and he started at the tops of my shoulders, gently massaging the cool lotion into my skin. He moved in between my shoulder blades and gently pushed his fingers into my muscle. “Hhhmm,” I sighed, contently. I allowed my eyes to flutter shut as he moved down my spine. 


“Nice?” He whispered, his breath hot against my back, (despite the scorching sun) sent shivers down my spine.  I swallowed hard and nodded. “Very.”


He headed for the base of my back and massaged the lotion in circular motion, he moved to my hips and rubbed the swell of them, softly cupping as he did so. I allowed myself to be completely in the moment. With Jamie’s hands on my body, nothing has ever felt this right. 


He bent down and put himself on his knees where he began to circle the lotion into the backs of my thighs and around my arse. “So plump.” He groaned. 


Once he had finally applied all the cream I thanked him and asked if he needed any, he softened down his mass of copper and smiled sweetly before refusing and saying maybe later. I nodded and headed back into my bag for my book. Once I was comfortable laying flat on my belly with my book in hand, Jamie decided to feast on the strawberries. “Save some for me!” I tutted over the top of my book. 


“Weel, Sassenach, if ye were no’ so invested in yer wee saucy romance novel, mebbe ye’d get some.” He shrugged, nonchalantly and proceeded to pop another berry into his mouth. 


“Hey!” I scrunched my nose up. “It is not a saucy romance.” 


“Aye tis,” 


“Give me a strawberry!” I demanded, putting my book face down. 


“Say please?” He shook his head at me as if to scold me for my lack of manners. 


“Please.” I groaned. He scooted to the end of his sunbed and leaned over to me. “Open.” He said. “What?” I smiled. “Open yer mouth.” He repeated. I nodded and opened my mouth for him, he picked up a strawberry and put it into my mouth, I softly moaned at the sweet but tangy flavour that had erupted in my mouth. He moved his hand away but I gripped his wrist tight and brought his hand back to my mouth, gently I popped his two fingers into my mouth and sucked off the excess strawberry juice. 


“Claire,” Jamie said, in a deep, husky tone. 


“Hmm,” I said, licking off the last of the juice. I pulled his fingers out of my mouth with a ‘pop.’


“Christ.” He hummed. “Sorry, those strawberries were just divine.” I licked my lips. 


“Aye,” He said, eyeing up my now red stained and glistening-in-the-sunlight lips. “That they are.” He grinned. 


For the remainder of the afternoon we sat and drank champagne, read our books and chatted some. We went for a swim in the sea with Fergus for a little bit since he had found a new friend he was off playing football and having sandcastle competitions on who could make the biggest. He barely came over to us, he was having so much fun he didn’t need us. He wanted ice cream, so we all got a vanilla cone. 


We decided to head back up to the cabin around 7pm as the sun was getting ready to start setting. Fergus was absolutely shattered and fell asleep in Jamie’s arms as he carried him back to the cabin. We took him to his room, Jamie put his pyjamas on him and tucked him into bed. We left him with a soft kiss to his little forehead. 


“Fancy a drink?” Jamie asked as we reached downstairs. “Yeah.” I nodded and followed him to the kitchen where he found two glasses and a bottle of whisky he had obviously brought with him. “Follow me.” He said, leading me out to the front of the cabin, there was a small area with logs and a place to build a campfire. 


“Shall we make a fire?” He asked, sitting down on one of the logs. “Sure! Do you know how? If not I do, I travelled almost everywhere with my Uncle Lamb when I was a kid, he taught me everything I needed to know about survival.” I smiled at the memory of my beloved uncle.


“Ochhh, I ken how. But tis great yer uncle taught ye.” Jamie smiled and stood up to head round the back of the cabin to collect the logs. “How long were ye wi’ yer uncle, then?” Jamie asked as he carried a large stack of wood and placed it in front. He began starting the fire. 


“Since I was 6, I don’t remember much about my mother or father, really. The only form of parent I ever had was Lamb. He took me everywhere with him, he wanted to teach ‘his Claire’ the ways of the world and how to get by in this life. He was a smart man, an archeologist. I always thought I might follow in his footsteps but somehow I ended up on the medical path. He was my best friend. I lost him about 3 years ago. It’s still pretty raw.” I blinked back the tears, Jamie immediately stood from the fire and sat beside me, he put an arm around me and pulled me into him.


“I’m sae sorry ye lost him, Claire.” Jamie whispered into my hair. I shook my head against his chest. “No, no. Please, don’t. He was very sick and I’m glad he isn’t in pain anymore.” Jamie lifted my chin and brushed away my tears with his thumb. All I could see was the reflection of the fire glistening in his eyes. I bent my head and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you.” 


“What fer?” He half chuckled.


“Always being there for me. Putting up with me and this awful situation we’re in.” I sniffled. 


“Aye, about that…” He sighed. 


“Go on!” I gestured with my hand for him to continue on. 


“Weel, I did say I wanted ye tae decide on what ye were doin’ about Frank.” He shrugged and darted his gaze. 


“What do you mean? I told you I wasn’t going to New York.”


“Aye, ye did. But what about us?” He furrowed his brows, I could barely see him in the growing darkness, the only light was the fire. 


“Well, what about us?” 




“Jamie! I told you I-“ He cut me off by standing up and smacking his palms against his thighs. “Jesus, Claire.” 


“Jamie, I don’t want to argue. Not here.” I sighed. 


“I dinnae wanna argue either! But I told ye I canna go on like this, we either tell Frank and be together or ye walk out of my life, forever.” He said, sternly.


“What?!” I shouted. “Why would you do that to me?” I could feel the tears forming in my eyes again.


“Because I cannae go on, I cannae share ye. It’s no’ fair, ye ken it. Ye need tae tell him or don’t.” He spat. 


“Why are you making me choose right now? I can’t-” I sighed and stood up myself, pacing around the fire. 


“Ye can’t?” He retorted. “I don’t know! Fucking hell, Jamie! Please!” I shouted. 


“I’m sorry, I have tae put me and Fergus first here. If ye cannae be all in, ye need to leave.” He folded his arms against his chest. 


“Why are you making me do this?!” I nearly screamed in frustration. 


“Because -“ He stopped and sighed. 


“Because what?!” I snapped. “Because you want to fuck me, is that it?” I regretted it the moment I said it and clamped my lips shut. 


“No!” He seethed. “Because I love you ! ” 


Wait, what? I felt like my head was spinning. 


“What?!” I said. 


“Ye heard me.” He mumbled under his breath and kicked at the sand. 


“Say that again?” I whispered. My heart was contracting in my chest, my head was fuzzy and I felt the familiar butterflies floating in my stomach. 


He stepped closer. “I said, I love you.” He said, a lot more softly this time. 


“You love me?” I smiled and let a single tear roll down my cheek. 


“Aye,” He sighed. 


“How long?” I asked. He snapped his head up and looked at me with confusion. “How long?” He repeated. 




“I never believed in love at first sight and all that soppy fairytale bullshit, until I met ye, that is.” He shrugged. “I’ve loved ye fer sae long, Claire. It has always been more than just a sexual connection, a strong passion and a need. Cannae ye see that? Cannae ye feel that?” He grabbed onto my wrist and pulled it to his chest, placing my hand flat against his heart and his palm atop.


“Yes,” I nodded, the tears flowing freely. 


“I love ye, Claire.” He said it again, and brought his hand up to push the stray curls out of my face. 


I sighed heavily and swallowed back the harsh lump in my throat. 


“Oh, Jamie,” I sniffled. “I love you.”

Chapter Text


“I love you.” I whispered back to him, the tears were rolling down my face, soaking my cheeks and lips. 


“Ye do?” He sighed a breath of relief, his own sea blue eyes glistened over with tears. “Yes.” I nodded, smiling so brightly at him. 


“Oh, Claire.” He said, all but running to me and cupping my face in his large, calloused and warm hands. 


“Ye really do?” He repeated, a small smile forming on the corner of his lips. I nodded and brought my own hand to cup his face. “Of course I do, you bloody fool.” I chuckled and so did Jamie. He bent his head and brushed his warm and wet lips against my own.


He kissed me so tentatively yet it was filled with pure emotion and desire, his hands moved from my face and lingered on my hips and mine wrapped around his neck. I pulled back, slightly out of breath. His eyes, lust filled and a knowing silence between us. I slid my hand into his and took a step back. 


“Come on,” I said, leading him towards the cabin. “Claire…” I turned behind me to face him and placed my finger on his lips. “Shh, don’t say a word.” He gulped and nodded against my finger. 


I led him through the living area and up to the stairs, he followed quietly behind me and allowed me to take him to his bedroom door. I opened the door and stepped in, tugging on his hand encouraging him to enter. Once he was fully in the room, I stepped behind him and shut the door. I let go of his hand and moved to the edge of the bed where I sat down and patted the seat next to me, Jamie swallowed hard and sat down beside me. 


“I…” He puffed out a breath and shook his mop of copper, he glanced up at my face and gave me a weak smile. “Jamie,” I said, clearing my throat. “Do you want this?” I stared deep into his eyes, he blinked and softly nodded his head. “More than ye can ever ken.” He brought his hand up and stroked my cheekbone before gingerly tucking a loose tendril behind my ear.


“Do ye?” He cleared his throat, his knee bounced with growing anxiety. I placed my hand on his knee cap and squoze slightly. “Yes, you know I do.” 


“Promise me it’s over?” He gulped, darting his gaze from my stare. “What?”


“Frank. Promise me ye’re done wi’ him.” 


I sighed and smiled at him. “I promise you, Jamie. This is what I want. You and I. ” 


He bent his head and pressed his mouth against mine, a lot more harshly than previously. He swiped his tongue past my bottom lip, I opened willingly and met his tongue in a euphoric dance. He moaned into my mouth as I slipped my hand up the back of his nape and into the mass of curls. His hands roamed freely on my back and he soon found his way up my thin beach shirt I donned earlier.


Jamie’s mouth moved from my lips to my jaw where he peppered soft kisses along my neck, his tongue swiping across my skin every so often, he moved to the side of my throat where he took my skin between his teeth and gently sucked. I moaned against him and moved my hands to the hem of his shirt, I bunched up the material and made to lift it up. 


He let go of my neck so I could remove his shirt, I drank in the sight of him and bent my head to press my lips against his clavicle. He moaned when I dragged my teeth down his neck and bit down on his smooth skin. He lifted my shirt from over my head and tossed it to the side of the room. 


He stood up and came behind me, bending down he slowly moved my hair off my back and latched his mouth onto the tops of my shoulder, my head lolled and my eyes fluttered closed. He traced his forefinger down my spine and unclasped my bra in one swift motion. Pushing my straps down my arm he moved from behind me and took me by my hand, pulling me to stand. 


Once I was on my feet he slowly removed my bra and brought his hand up to my breast, cupping the weight softly and running his thumb across the hard pebble. I sucked in a breath and he dipped his head to lick my nipple. I gripped onto the back of his head as his teeth grazed the sensitive nub. The heat in the room had gone from 0-100 in a matter of seconds. 


His hands were all over my body, his tongue explored in my mouth, my heart was beating rapidly against my chest. He lifted me by my legs and carried me to the bed. I sighed heavily as he lowered his body on top of mine and placed soft and gentle kisses along my body, he reached the buttons of my thin cotton beach shorts. His eyes flickered up to me, a question in his eye. “Take them off.” I said, through a heavy breath. 


He smirked and fumbled with the button before tugging them gently down my hips, I raised myself upright to help him pull them down. Once they were off, he stared down at my almost-naked body and took in a sharp breath. “Christ, Claire.” He hummed, licking his lips and trailing down to the small knickers that were barely covering me. He hooked a finger around the thin waistband and slowly pulled them down my thighs, calves and finally completely off. 


Jamie grabbed onto my foot and pulled me towards him in one swift motion, I gasped at the friction between my skin and the bed cloth. He brought his finger up to my ankle where he then traced around the bone, up the back of my calf and to my inner thigh, my entire body had erupted with goosebumps. Jamie bent his head and placed a soft kiss to my exposed stomach, nuzzling and gently rubbing the tip of his nose against my navel, his soft copper curls grazed my skin and nearly sent me into a frenzy. 


His long fingers traced up my inner thigh and along my centre making my hips buckle and my legs squirm uncontrollably. He chuckled under his breath, a devilish laugh, he knew exactly what he was doing and he loved it. But, so did I. He teased my clit with his forefinger and then abruptly pulled away, he took his finger to his mouth and gently sucked on his own digit before swiftly moving back to my opening. “Jamie,”

I panted as his fingers worked their magic. “Oh...” I groaned as he slowly inserted it inside of me, curving his finger slightly to hit the spot. “Sassenach, ye’re so fucking beautiful.” He growled as he pumped his finger in and slowly back out of me, he added another and my whole body arched off the bed in complete ecstasy.


He pushed my hips flat to the bed as I squirmed underneath him. I could feel the tension burning deep at the pit of my stomach and I knew I was getting close. 


“Jamie…” I licked my dry lips and groaned heavily. “Don’t make me come.” I threw my head back against the bed as his thumb pressed hard and firm against my throbbing clit. “I want you…to…be…inside me…please.” I bit down hard on my bottom lip. Jamie stopped his movements and looked up at me, dark lust and pure desire swarmed his usual ocean blue eyes. 


He slowly pulled his fingers out of me and I groaned at the loss of contact. He pushed himself back and stood upright before fumbling with his buckle. I propped myself up with my elbows watching as he pulled his pants off and stood in his boxer briefs. My heart was thudding against my ribs and I thought my chest may burst.


I scooted down the bed slightly and reached for his underwear. “Let me.” I said, looking up at him through dark lashes. He nodded and swallowed hard as I reached for his waistband, slowly I slipped my hand into the boxers and wrapped my small hand around his very large, thick length. He groaned and fluttered his eyes shut. After I had pumped a few times in his boxers I let go and pulled them down. He stepped out of them and crawled onto the bed, he then towered over me. His breathing was heavy and his chest was heaving. 


“Do we need a…uh…ye ken?” He cleared his throat. “No.” I shook my head. “I’m on the pill…plus I haven’t slept with anyone for months and months.” I blushed slightly and Jamie’s lips curled into a devious smirk. He nodded and bowed his head to meet my lips, he gingerly brushed his mouth atop mine and softly took my bottom lip in between his teeth. I moaned into his mouth as his hand then started to trail from my knee up to my thigh. He pushed me flush to the sheets and lifted my leg over his hip, he lined himself up at my entrance and glanced at me. 


“Are ye sure?” He said, his voice low and shaky. I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Do it now, and don’t be fucking gentle.” He smirked and hooked his arm tight around my thigh before pushing himself forward and slowly, agonisingly slowly filling me. We both groaned as our bodies connected, Jamie stayed still momentarily as we got used to the sensation of being one. “Move,” I said, lifting my bottom up to push into him more. He rocked against me, starting up a steady rhythm. 


I moved my body against his and trailed my hands down to his arse to push him further inside of me, “faster Jamie, please.” With that he pushed himself up and hooked both arms around my thighs, lifting me slightly off the mattress and pulled himself nearly all the way out before slamming himself back inside.


“Fuck!” He groaned. “Claire ye’re sae tight.”

He moaned deliciously as he pounded against me, the sound of skin on skin and bodies slapping against each other filled the room along with our strangled moans.


His fingers gripped right onto my hips, I was sure I would be marked by his grip, but I didn’t really care. I wanted him to mark me, claim his stake, make me his


“I’ll go on top.” I said and pushed at Jamie’s chest; he flipped us over and still managed to stay inside, skill.

I positioned my knees properly on either side of his thighs and lifted myself up, right until I got to the very tip before slamming my body down and meeting his with a thud. He craned his neck back and positioned his hands back onto my hips as he guided my movements. I rolled in circles on him, feeling the friction of my clit against his pubic bone was enough to make my toes curl.


“Sassenach, I’ve never felt this good…” He hissed and sat up to take one of my breasts into his mouth, he latched on and flicked his tongue flat on my pebbled bud. He moved his hand from my hip and found my clit at our joining and slowly rubbed. I could feel it; right there.


“Don’t you dare stop.” I cried and that only spurred him on further to press harder against my clit and thrust upwards. “Come fer me, mo ghraidh.” 


It wasn't long before I saw stars behind my eyelids as I squeezed my eyes shut. “Oh god, Jamie!” I cried as he brought me through my orgasm, the sensation flowing through my body only made me ride him faster. I pushed his chest down and continued to bounce up and down and roll my hips against him. “Your turn.” I whispered in his ear, he grabbed onto my waist and rolled me against him. 


“Yes, Claire, just like that…” he said. “I want to feel you as you come inside me, Jamie.” I moved my head and sucked the salty, sweaty skin at the base of his neck. 

He clutched tight onto my arse and thrusted up into me, I continued rocking against him. “Claire…oh god, Claire…” He threw his head back into the pillow and I felt his warmth swarm my insides, his legs shook from underneath me. I slowed down my movements as I rode out the last of his orgasm. 


I collapsed on top of his chest in a heap of euphoria. We stayed in silence, Jamie’s hand traced up my spine as I lay with my head in the crook of his neck. The only sounds in the room were our heavy breaths. I lay spent for a few moments before peeling my sweat coated skin from Jamie’s also very sweaty body, I lay next to him with my hands behind my head. 


He turned his head to look at me, a smile crept onto his face and he bit his lip. 


“I love ye.” He said, lifting his arm and tucking a curl behind my ear. I smiled back at him and kissed the palm of his hand that had landed on my cheek. “I love you, too.” 



We had fallen asleep not long after, our legs tangled and our hands linked. I was in complete fulfilment and fell asleep feeling things I have never felt before. Desire, love, need, want. I loved Frank of course, but it was nothing compared to the way Jamie made me feel or what I felt for him. This was a whole new experience, and I can’t lie it terrified me. But, all that being said, Jamie is who I want and who wants me. I have to give it my best shot, regardless of my insecurities and uncertainties. I have to trust in my feelings for him, and his for me. 


I woke up some hours later, the familiar feeling of large, calloused hands roaming over my body. He cupped my breast and softly rolled the now erect nipple between his fingers while the other traced down between my thighs. His breath was hot on my neck and his mouth was wet when he latched onto the soft skin behind my ear.


Mo nighean donn,” He whispered against my ear. “Hmmm,” I smirked, my eyes still squeezed shut. He was pressed against my bottom, and it was evident enough he was ready for round two. 


“You want to go again?” I chuckled, and purposely pushed my bottom into his growing erection and gave it a little wiggle against him. “Ooh,” He hissed. “Aye. I need ye, mo ghraidh.”  


“You never did tell me what that means?” I said, craning my neck back slightly. Jamie pressed his forehead to my temple and sighed. “Aye, suppose I can now…” His hand moved from my breast and rested just over my heart. “It means, ‘my love.’” He rubbed the tip of his nose against my hairline and held me tight to him. 


I turned around to face him completely. “Oh, Jamie…” I had tears welling in my eyes and I bit my lip hard to stop them from falling. “My love.” I whispered on his lips before I kissed him, this time a lot more tender and less rushed. It seemed like we had all the time in the world to hand ourselves over to one another. 


I lifted my hip over his and guided him into me, relief washed through my body as I felt him fill me once again. I rocked against him and he guided my thigh in his direction, he kissed me tenderly and whispered words of love into my ear.


I was totally, completely, madly in love. 

I was happy, I was home.

Chapter Text



“Ohhh,” I groaned as I slowly peeled my eyes open, the morning sunlight blinding my vision and instantly making me squeeze my eyes shut. I felt the familiar feeling of wet and warm lips trailing across my exposed skin, the soft scrape of copper curls tickling the most sensitive parts of my body and causing me to arch my back as I felt him move closer to where I wanted him. He parted my thighs with his soft and warm hands, gently opening me to him and moving his hands to my throbbing centre. He licked up my inner thigh while his finger worked in soft and slow circular motions against my clit. 


I felt my body shake from underneath him as he worked me so tentatively and stroked my most sensitive area. He moved his hand from my swollen flesh and replaced it with his tongue. “Jamie,” I moaned, clenching my fists to my side and closing my eyes. He giggled between my legs and moved his free hand up my stomach to my breasts where he gently squeezed the weight, he flicked my erect nipple and took turns pinching and rolling it between his skilful fingers. All the while, his mouth continued its journey to complete fulfilment, he worked hard against me. Licking my clit and sucking it into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth against the pink flesh. I writhed under him, begging him to take me over the edge, unclenching my fists, I ran my hand through his messy locks and fisted a handful as he hit the spot. 


“Right there, don’t you dare stop...” I panted, he moved his hand from my breast and inserted a finger inside, his mouth suctioned to my clit as his finger began to pump in and out of me in a smooth rhythm. “Jamie!” I shouted as I felt my stomach muscles tighten and my legs shake, the familiar pulsating feeling came over me as my walls clenched around his long fingers. “Aye, that’s it, my love.” He groaned, his words muffled as his head was still very much buried in me. 


“I need you, now.” I said, through a shaky and uneven breath. He slowly moved away from in between my legs and looked up at me with a small smirk on his now swollen and pink lips. His breath was heavy and his chest was puffed, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and made his way up to me. I pushed myself back as he crawled his way up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his head down to meet our lips into a lascivious kiss. I tasted myself on his lips, I found that I actually quite liked that. He explored my mouth with his tongue and slowly moved his hand down my body to lift my leg up and over his hip. 


We broke away, shortened of breath and ready to consume one another once more. 

He bent down and pressed his forehead against mine before slowly inserting himself inside me. Once I took him in fully we stayed still momentarily to enjoy the feeling of being connected in the most intimate way. I moved my other leg to wrap around his lower back and thrusted my hips up to encourage him to move. He started to move within me and soon sped up to the most desirable pace. He lifted my legs higher so they were wrapped at the top of his torso. One hand gripped my thigh hard, his fingers dug into my flesh. The other held firmly onto the headboard. 


He lifted himself back and pulled nearly all the way out of me before firmly snapping his hips forward in one swift motion. I groaned in pleasure. He moved fast within me, grunting and cursing under his breath. “Claire, I’m so close.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. I moved my hand in between us to find where we joined, pressing my finger against my clit as he sped up his movements. He pumped in and out harder, the sound of sweaty skin connecting and heavy breaths filled the room. “Come wi’ me, Sassenach.” He moaned in my ear, almost sending me over the edge. “Faster, Jamie,” I bit down on my lip to stop myself from screaming at the top of my lungs. He moved from the headboard and ripped my hand away from my centre, he replaced it with his own strong fingers and rubbed hard against me whilst snapping his hips to keep up his intense rhythm. “Oh…yes…” I threw my head forward and latched my teeth onto his bare shoulder to muffle the cries. “Jamie!” I exclaimed as I came for the second time. “Oh god, Claire, fuck!” He was right after me, spilling himself inside of me and collapsing on top of me. 


He brought his hand up to caress my sweat ridden curls. My heart was thumping against my rib cage and my whole body was trembling with the intense pleasure I had endured. I couldn’t speak, I could only lay there and embrace him. Embrace us.


Sometime later, Jamie and I found ourselves in the shower. Slowly washing each other and savouring the sight of the other before us. Closing my eyes as the smooth padding of his fingers caressed the shampoo into my scalp. Turning around, I ran my hand up and down his perfectly sculpted chest, stopping momentarily to drag my nails through the tussle of copper curls in the centre of his chest. He bent his head to place his forehead firm against mine, drinking in the sensation of each other’s touch. He sighed heavily as I moved my hands up his shoulders and found his neck. I ran my fingers through the sopping curls at the base. He groaned when I tugged his head back to look at me and closed my mouth over his, slipping my tongue into his hot and inviting mouth. 

This was it. This was us. Now and forever. 




After a morning of making love, we finally got dressed and ready for the day. I left Jamie’s bedroom before Fergus could find us there and made my way downstairs, there was an extra spring in my step and a sway to my hips. I was in love. My smile grew brighter as I opened the patio doors, the smell of the sea swarmed my nostrils and the feel of the hot sun on my face. I watched as the sunlight reflected upon the water and it glistened under it. 


I decided that I would make my boys some breakfast and headed into the kitchen to prepare some fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, bacon and pastries. 


Pulling out a watermelon, punnet of strawberries and oranges from the fridge I set to work with chopping. The padding of feet against the wooden stairs caught my attention and I snapped my head up to see Jamie strolling into the kitchen. A large smile appeared on his beautiful face when he saw me cutting up the fruit. “Sassenach,” he said, coming around the kitchen island. “Good mornin’.” He cleared his throat and stood behind me, wrapping his large hands around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. I melted back into him, sighing in contentment. “That, it is .” I smiled. 


“What’re ye makin’?” 


“Oh, just some fruit and maybe some eggs and things.” I shrugged against him. His hand fell from my waist to my hip where he gently squeezed the swell of it. 


“Sounds delicious.” He kissed my cheek and rubbed his nose against my temple. 


“Hmmm, is Fergus up?” 


“Aye. He’s just having a wee shower, so that means we have a few minutes…” I felt his gaze bore into the side of my face, I swallowed hard and craned my neck to face him. “That means what, Mr Fraser?” I raised a suspicious brow and he laughed softly. 


“We have a little time alone tae get us through the day…”

He licked his lips and looked down to my now parted ones. 


“Oh? And what do you suppose we do?” I felt my throat getting dry and my heart beating against my chest. 


“Weel…” he brought his hand up to caress my jaw. “I could start wi’ this.” He bent his head and brushed his lips against mine, I felt the knife in my hand slowly slipping and falling onto the work surface as I brought my arms to wrap around his neck. He broke the kiss, panting, he looked into my eyes and smiled. “And what else?” I whispered. He lifted me up and sat me firmly on the kitchen side, then he parted my legs and stood in between. “Then…” he said. “I’ll kiss ye again.” I sighed when his mouth latched onto my jaw. “Now yer wee neck.” He trailed his lips down and suckled against the soft skin at the side of my neck. “Hmmmm.” I groaned, allowing my eyes to flutter shut in ecstasy. 


“And let’s see if this wee blouse opens..” he brought his hand up to the first button of my shirt and gently popped it open. “Aye, sae it does..” he smirked and moved onto the second. He traced his finger in between my cleavage and then dipped his head to flick his tongue there, his hand slipped up from my thigh under my skirt. I propped myself back on one hand and allowed my head to fall back. 


“What now?” I said through a shaky breath, Jamie continued to kiss and lick the valley between my breasts. “Now…” he moved his hand further up my skirt and pressed his fingers over the thin material of my underwear. “Jesus,” I hissed. “I will gently…” 


“Da!!!” Fergus shouted from upstairs. “Shit!” I mumbled, Jamie pulled himself back and took a step away from me, I jumped down off the counter and adjusted my skirt and fixed my blouse. Clearing my throat I looked over at Jamie who was rearranging himself to a more comfortable position. “That was close.”

I let out a large breath and turned back to my chopping board. “Down here, son.” Jamie replied. 


Fergus soon came skipping down the stairs with a joyous smile on his face. 


“Happy birthday, soldier!” I said, rushing over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. I kissed atop his head and rubbed his back gently. “Thank you, bear.” He smiled. I pulled away from him and slapped my hands against my thighs. 


“Right then! Who’s hungry?” I wiggled my brows and both boys nodded profusely. 


“Best get started then!” I put on my biggest smile and turned back to the kitchen to finish our breakfast. 


We all practically demolished our food, and decided on a plan for the day. Fergus wanted to go to the water park and then come back to the cabin to toast marshmallows. So with that, we got our swimsuits in our bags and headed out to the park. 


Fergus had the time of his life at the water park, he and Jamie raced down the extremely large slide, I sat back and watched them. He played water sports with a few other children and then sat down for hotdogs and ice cream. Jamie and I kept ourselves to ourselves for the day, god knows how. The way he looked at me when I took off my beach robe and scanned my body in my leave-nothing-to-the-imagination bikini. 


Or the way I almost drooled when he removed his shirt and the sun kissed his skin and made him glow, the feeling that was deep in my stomach was enough to make me ravish him there and then. But I refrained. Not only all of that, the way he was with his son made my heart grow ten times it’s size. I loved seeing them together, the bond they had as father and son should. 


We make our way back up to the cabin after many hours of fun. I donned pink sleeping shorts and a plain white tee, Jamie was chilling in his trunks and Fergus had got his pyjamas on ready for bed. 


We headed out to the front to set up a fire again, we sat around it and toasted marshmallows and drank whisky. (Fergus had chocolate milk, of course.) 


“Fergus?” I said, ushering him to come over to me. He moved from Jamie’s arm and came and sat beside me. I put my arm around him and cuddled him close. “Have you had a nice birthday?” 


“The best!” He exclaimed. “Well, it’s not over just yet.” I smiled before leaning behind me and grabbing the gift bag I had hidden behind the log. “Bear!!” His eyes lit up when I showed it to him. 


“Happy birthday, darling.” I handed him the bag and he took it from my hands. He opened the bag and ripped open the wrapped present. “Oh, Claire.” He said, tears forming in his eyes. 


“You got this…for me?” He raised his eyebrows. “Of course I did!” 


“I didn’t really know what to get you - So I thought maybe this bear holding a picture of us would always remind you that you have your Claire-Bear.” I felt my own eyes begin to water. Fergus swallowed hard and placed the bear back into the bag before jumping into my lap and wrapping his arms tight

around my neck. “I love it so much! Thank you!” He cried. 


I rubbed his back soothingly, he pulled away and kissed my cheek. “And I love you, bear.” He smiled so brightly it broke my heart. “I love you too, soldier.” I booped his nose and ruffled his locks. 


A couple of hours later Fergus was fast asleep and Jamie and I were laying on the hammock outside of the cabin, watching the last of the flames fade to nothing. “Claire?” He said, clearing his throat. 


“Hmm?” I moved my head to look up at him. “Thank ye fer doin’ that fer Fergus.” His eyes softened and he brought his hand up to push a stray curl from my face. 


“Oh Jamie, you don’t need to thank me. I wanted to. I love him.” I shrugged. 


“Aye. I ken ye do. And he loves ye, as do I, mo nighean donn. ” He pressed his lips to the tip of my nose. 


I smiled and nodded against him. “I promise you Jamie, we will be a family.” I whispered. “Ye dinna ken how happy that makes me, Claire.” He swallowed hard and sniffled back the tears. 


I lifted my hand up to cup his cheek. “As soon as we get home, I will tell Frank. Everything. You have my word.” Jamie nodded and smiled into the palm of my hand, he kissed it gently and held me close to him. 


“Now, come on, let’s go to bed.” I pressed my lips softly to his cheek.


“Aye, I’ve been waiting tae hear those words all day, mo ghraidh .” 

Chapter Text


We packed our bags early the following morning, ready for our return home. I knew what was to come upon my arrival back. I felt sick at the thought of it, but I knew it had to be done. Not only that, I was terribly saddened by the end of our trip. A perfect weekend of declaring love and making love. How would I return home knowing I wasn’t going back to Jamie’s bed? How would I be away from him? 


We had packed the car before Fergus got up and we were able to steal an extra hour alone together, I was laying on Jamie’s chest atop the bed covers. 


“I dinnae want this tae end, Claire.” He sighed in my ear and rubbed his nose against my cheek. 


“I know, me too. But, we will be together soon.” I brought my hand up to stroke the soft bristle on his jaw.


“Aye. I’ve had the best time.” He held me closer and nuzzled into my curls. 


“It has been rather wonderful.” I craned my neck to look up at him and softly brushed my lips against his own. 


“Hmmmhh..” He sighed. “I’ll miss this.” 


I chuckled under my breath and rubbed my nose on his. “It won’t be for long. We will have to tell Fergus, but not until I’ve talked to Frank.” I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat at the mention of his name. 


“It’ll be alright, mo nighean .” 


“I do love you.” I cupped his cheek and gazed at him through bleary eyes.


“And I love ye.” He kissed me. 




We all piled into the car and headed back home, I felt a dull sadness in my heart and a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. Back to reality, back to Frank. Would he listen to me? Will he let me go? 


I looked in the mirrors and saw Fergus fast asleep curled up in a ball on the back seat, clutching onto his bear I had gifted him. A warm smile appeared on my face and I glanced over at Jamie who was peeking at me out of the corner of his eye. I lifted my hand and placed it over his knee, gently squeezing. He removed his hand from the gear stick and placed it atop mine, lacing his thin long fingers through mine. Lifting my hand up, he placed a soft kiss to the base of my wrist and the inside of my palm. I watched his every move, my heart beat faster with every brush of his lips. 


We pulled up outside of my house, I gave Jamie a knowing look and I gulped as my eyes scanned my empty drive. Luckily Frank wasn’t home right now so I had the time to prepare myself for what I wanted to say and how I would approach it. Fergus was still asleep, I leaned over to the driver's side and placed a kiss to the side of Jamie’s mouth, he sighed and brought his hand up to cup my neck. “God, I’ll miss ye.” He grunted under his breath and pressed his forehead against mine. 


“I’ll miss you, too.” I stroked the high points of his cheekbone with the padding of my thumb before momentarily closing my eyes, clenching my jaw and forcing myself away. “I will see you soon, I promise.” I squeezed his hand and climbed out of the car in haste. I collected my bags and gave Jamie one last look. My heart ached for him. 


I fumbled in my bag for my keys, hearing Jamie’s car speed away made my chest tighten and the tears begin to sting the corners of my eyes. I unlocked the door and walked into my house, dumping my suitcase down and kicking off my shoes, I walked through the living room. The table was filled with empty beer and wine bottles, half a bottle of whisky was still standing in the centre of the table. The blinds were drawn, the floor was covered in glass and the sofa was turned upside down. I held my hand over my mouth in astonishment, I walked further into the room to assess the damage. There were photo frames turned upside down on the floor, I bent down and gingerly traced the edge of the frame before picking it up. 


Our wedding photo. I picked up the second one, our first holiday together. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I tried to collect all the broken glass from the floor.


I decided to sort out his mess, first of all I opened the blinds and the windows to let the smell of alcohol and god-knows-what out.


Grabbing a bin bag I angrily collected up all the bottles, throwing them inside and grunting under my breath as I did so. It took all of my strength to pick the sofas back up and put them into their original places. I cleared up the remainder of the glass and spent the rest of the afternoon making my house look normal again. 


I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down with a heavy sigh. 

Just as I was taking a sip I got a text.


Frank Randall: Got a work meeting tonight, don’t wait up.


I scoffed as I read the text and decided I didn’t even have the energy to start an argument with him, or even reply to him. 


A knock at the door brought me out of my deep thoughts, I sighed heavily and dragged myself up and to the porch. I opened the door and smiled instantly. “Jamie!” 


“Hi.” He was grinning at me, Fergus appeared from behind Jamie’s legs. “Hey, Bear.” Fergus said, strolling in front of Jamie and into my house. “Oh yeah, come in!” I stepped aside for Jamie to enter, his chest brushed against mine briefly and I felt that familiar heat instantly return. 


Fergus jumped over to the couch and put the television on, I stood lingering in the hall with Jamie. “Did you forget something?” I said, clearing my throat. “Och, nah, ye did.” He nodded at me and fished into his back pocket, he smiled awkwardly before presenting me with my sunglasses. 


“You came all the way here to bring me my sunglasses?” I raised a questionable brow. 


“Aye, any reason t’see ye, Sassenach.” He smirked at me with those pearly whites that made my heart leap from my chest. 


“You bloody crazy Scot.” I chuckled and took my sunglasses out of his palm. He gripped onto my wrist and bent his head to place a soft kiss to the back of my hand.


“I’ll leave ye be, Claire. Just wanted tae return yer wee sunnies.” He took a step back from me and shouted Fergus from the living room. 


“You don’t have to go, you could stay for a while.” I shrugged. 


“Och, I’d love tae but I gotta get back and sort things.” He smiled at me and patted Fergus’ head as he appeared at Jamie’s side. “We’ll see ye soon, Sassenach.” Jamie moved forward and kissed me hard on the lips. I froze against him and Jamie sharply pulled away, he gulped and looked at me wide eyed as if to say ‘what do I do now?’ I bit down on my lip and allowed my eyes to travel down to Fergus who was standing with his mouth hanging agape. 


“Da!!! Did you just kiss Claire?” Fergus asked in complete shock. 


“No! No! Of course not.” Jamie cleared his throat awkwardly. 


“Yes you did!” He protested. 


“Weeel, twas a wee accident.” Jamie swallowed hard and tried not to blush. Fergus furrowed his brows and made a sick noise in the back of his throat. 


“It’s alright Jamie, it was only an accident.” I patted his shoulder tentatively before offering him a soft smile. 


You boys ought to be off, go on now, I’ll see you very soon.” I ruffled Fergus’ locks and walked them to the door, offering them a quick wave. I shut the door behind me and pressed my back against it, squeezing my eyes shut momentarily to regain my senses. “Jesus H,” I sighed under my breath before pushing myself away from the door and slowly making my way back to the living room.


I decided to take myself to bed to get an early night considering Frank wasn’t even bothered about coming home to me, not that I wasn’t actually thankful for that. 

Some hours later I woke to the sound of the sheets ruffling and Frank’s heavy breathing. I peeled my eyes open and saw him hovering over his side of the bed, huffing under his breath before fumbling with the buckle of his belt. I chose to pretend to be asleep and turn away from him before he noticed I was in fact awake. 


I felt his body hitting the mattress and he scooted over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I froze. “Claire,” he mumbled into the back of my neck. I stayed silent and still and acted as if I didn’t realise he was here or speaking to me. “I missed you.” He hummed and moved his hand from my waist to my breast, I couldn’t help but grab his hand and move it off me. “So you are awake?” He snorted. 


“I am now.” I said sternly. “Come on, darling, let’s rekindle, Hmm?” He moved his hand back towards my breast and I pushed him away from me. “Don’t you dare.” I spat, pushing the covers off me and pulling myself into a sitting position. “Fucking hell! You’re so frigid.” He scoffed under his breath. I pushed myself off the bed and made my way to the bedroom door, grabbing my robe. I pulled it over my arms and turned back to him. “We need to talk tomorrow, I’m going to sleep on the couch.” I grabbed onto the door handle and opened the door. 


“Claire! Please..” He begged. “No, we will discuss this tomorrow. Goodnight, Frank.” I left the room before he could try to talk me out of it. 


Curling up on the sofa, I pulled the blankets over me and laid my head on the pillow. Sighing heavily, a single tear rolled down my cheek and all I wanted was to be with Jamie. In his arms, safe and loved. 

Chapter Text


I woke up to the sound of the front door slamming closed, it shook me out of my deep sleep. I peeled my eyes open and squinted slightly at the morning sun peeking through the gap in the curtains. Lifting my body up from the couch I stretched and yawned. Frank had clearly left in a hurry with no intention of speaking to me, but that’s fine, I’ll let him have his little tantrum for now. 


I lifted my limp body from the sofa and strode into the kitchen to make myself a coffee. Flicking on the kettle, I leant against the kitchen counter. I fished into my pyjama pants pocket for my phone that had just pinged. 


Jamie Fraser: Good morning, Sassenach. Miss you. X


I smiled as I read over his message and pulled my lip between my teeth before tapping away at my phone to respond. 


Claire Randall: Good morning, Fraser. Missing you, too x


Jamie Fraser is typing….


I poured my coffee and took myself back to my spot on the sofa as I watched Jamie typing his message. 


Jamie Fraser: Will we see you today?


Claire Randall: I don’t know. I have to sort things with Frank and I don’t really know how that’s going to turn out. 


Jamie Fraser: Ah, I see. Let me know how you get on. I love you, mo nighean donn.


Claire Randall: Talk soon. I love you x

I placed my phone back down on the couch next to me and sighed heavily as I sipped on my hot coffee. I had a nervous pit in my stomach about facing today, I wanted to do it right . Although, what right way is there to tell your husband you want a divorce and you’re in love with another man? I didn’t want to hurt him, truly, but I knew I had to for my own sake. 


He would get over it, in time, especially when he heads for New York. I sat contemplating all the different things I could say to him to soften the blow, but at the end of it all it still means one thing only, betrayal. I betrayed him and our marriage and there was no two ways about it. 


It was now or never, I had to get it all out in the open and end this farce. Picking up my phone, I checked the time. 9am. My thoughts were, I would get myself up and ready and make my way to the university where I would take him coffee and ask if we could have dinner this evening, then I could tell him everything. 


So, with all that in mind I drank the last of my coffee and made my way into my bedroom. 

I flicked on the shower and climbed in. I let the water soak my body and warm my bones. I decided on washing my hair and shaving my legs. 

Once I was finished I wrapped a towel around my head and body and went back to my bedroom to dry my hair. 


I donned jeans and a blouse. I applied minimal makeup, mainly concealer under my eyes and a slightly tinted lip balm to my lips. 

As I made my way up to the university I felt a sense of dread deep in my stomach, a mixture of guilt and fear felt all consuming. I swallowed hard as I made my way up to his office carrying two large coffees. 


As I approached the large wooden door that read ‘Professor F. W. Randall.’ I closed my eyes shut momentarily and let out a deep breath, bringing my fist down against the hard oak I tapped my knuckle on the door. 


No answer. Hmm, strange, I thought. Usually at this time Frank would be grading papers and catching up on lesson plans, or reading a book about the World War.


I tried my luck with opening the door, I placed my hand on the handle and opened it. “Frank…are you-“ I stood frozen in the middle of the room, the coffees slipped from my hand and fell to the floor, pouring out all over the polished wood. I brought my hand up to my mouth to stifle the laugh that was brewing. 


“Claire!” Frank bellowed. “Shit.” 


I couldn’t say anything or do anything, all I could do was laugh. Laugh so hard I nearly cried, I clutched my belly hard as I stood laughing at the sight before me. Frank’s suit pants around his ankles, his porcelain white arse as bare as day and….wait for it…. Mrs Graham, YES, MRS GRAHAM'S legs wrapped tight around Frank’s lower back as he pounded against her on the desk.


“Oh!! Mrs Randall!” Mrs Graham blushed, pushing Frank away and pulling her skirt down to cover herself. 


“Oh no, please, don’t stop on my account.” I shook my head in utter disbelief. Frank stood staring at me as he fastened his belt up, his face as white as a sheet. “Claire…I can explain.” He rushed over to me and I stepped back. 


“No, you don’t need to. Really.” I exclaimed, holding my hands up in defence. 


“I’m so sorry you found out like this….I, uh,” Frank stuttered. “Frank! Please!” I snapped. I darted my gaze to Mrs Graham who was cowering in the corner of the room. “Mrs Graham, please could you leave us?” I raised a brow at her. 


“Of course, I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat and grabbed her handbag before giving myself and Frank one last glance and scurrying out of the room. 


“Let’s talk, Claire. Please sit down.” He gestured to his seat in front of the desk. “I’m quite alright standing, actually. Who knows where else you’ve fucked her.” I folded my arms against my chest. 


“I’m so sorry, it was a huge mistake.” He rubbed his temples in frustration. “Don’t lie to me, it wasn’t a mistake.” I shook my head. 


“It was! I promise. It’ll never happen again.” He moved to grab my hand but I abruptly pulled away. 


“Save it, Frank. I really don’t care.” 


“Please, darling, we can figure this out .” He pleaded. 


“No, I don’t want to.” I shook my curls and sighed heavily. 


“Come on, Claire, you can forgive me for the sake of one stupid mistake.” 


“Yes, Frank, I can forgive you. Do you know why?” I said, softly. 




“Because I want a divorce.” I whispered. 


“What?! No! I won’t have this, we can figure it out.” He shook his head profusely in disbelief. 


“I don’t want to figure it out.” I sighed. “I’m tired Frank, we aren’t working. We haven’t been for a long time, we’ve become two different people and all we are doing is hurting each other.” 


“But we love each other.” Frank swallowed hard. 


“Yes, I do love you. I will always love you, but I am not in love with you. Not like I am with someone else.” I nervously played with the hem of my jacket and I couldn’t make eye contact with him. 


“What!?” He snapped. 


“I’m so sorry, Frank. I’m not in love with you anymore and I want a divorce.” My eyes filled with tears and I bit down on my lip to stop them from falling. 


“What do you mean? There’s someone else?” He gulped. 


“Yes…” I nodded. 


“Fuck! Claire!” He slammed his fist against the table in frustration. 


“Seriously Frank! You can’t be mad at me, you’re fucking Mrs Graham!” I gritted my teeth. 


“Who is he?! ” 


“Does it matter?”


“Of course it fucking matters, Claire!” He grunted and balled his fists before slamming it against the table again. 


“Jamie.” I mumbled. 


“Oh you’re fucking kidding me? I knew it.” He half laughed. 


“I am sorry, Frank. I tried not to love him, I tried so damn hard. I can’t help the way I feel about him, it’s the most powerful thing I’ve ever felt in my life and I’m sorry for that.” A single tear rolled down my cheek. 


“Have you fucked him?” He scoffed. 


“What?!” I narrowed my eyes. 


“Have you had sex with him?” 


“What does it matter, Frank?” I shrugged and rolled my eyes. 


“It fucking matters!! Did you fuck him, Claire?” He spat. 


“Yes! Alright, yes!” I snapped back at him. 


“Oh god,” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Alright, listen…it’s all going to be fine, I’ve made mistakes and so have you but we can get past it.” He said. 


I raised my brow at him and shook my head. “Have you not heard a word I just said?” 


“Yes, you fucked Jimmy but it’s alright, I forgive you.” He brushed it off like it was nothing


“Holy shit! His name is JAMIE. I did not fuck him, I made love to him because I am in love with him!” I shouted. 


“No, Claire, darling…it’s just infatuation, sex releases all these endorphins and makes you think you feel these things when you don’t.” He stifled a laugh and shook his head. 


“You are not listening to me, Frank!” I started to pace the room and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “It’s over.” 


“Maybe we should go to couples therapy, what do you think, darling?” He hummed. 


“I can’t do this. If you’re not going to listen to me then I will just leave.” I headed for the door and felt Frank rush to my side. 


“Fine! But I won’t accept this, we are married and we are meant to be together!” He screeched. 


“No, we are not! Our time is done, Frank.” 


“I love you!” He shouted. 


“No, you don’t . Think about it, properly. Do you really love me?” I furrowed my brows. 


“Of course I do!” He gritted his teeth. 


“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked Mrs Graham, and if I loved you then I wouldn’t be with Jamie.” 


“He’s just a fling, a bit of excitement, you’ll get over him.” He shrugged. 


“Frank, Jamie is the love of my life .” I said as softly as possible, he looked into my eyes and swallowed hard. 




“I’m sorry. We can’t be together anymore, I love Jamie and I want to be with him.” I squeezed my eyes shut momentarily and sighed heavily. 


“You really love him?!” He swallowed hard. “I do.” 


“Get the fuck out of here!” He shouted.


“Frank!” I snapped. 


“No, get the fuck out! You adulterous bitch!” He screamed at me, I almost ran at him before my hand connected with his cheek and I slapped him hard, he stumbled back and clutched onto his cheek. “How fucking dare you when I’ve just walked in here to you bent over Mrs Graham! You bastard! ” I stormed past him and out of the door. 


“Clean up this fucking mess, Frank. We are done.” I walked out of the room and slammed the door behind me, my whole body was shaking, I couldn’t figure out if it was adrenaline or anger. I left the university and headed for my car. 


I got home and made my way straight to my bedroom to pack up as much of my stuff as possible, I threw almost everything into the back of my car and called Jamie’s number. 


“Sassenach!!” His Scottish voice filled my ears and instantly warmed my soul. “Jamie…” my voice broke as I said his name. 

“Claire? What is it? Are ye alright?” His voice changed to concern. 


“I’ve left Frank…” I sniffled. “I have my car packed with as much of my stuff as possible.” 

I cried. 

“Ahhh, Mo Chridhe , come.” He said, softly. 


“I’m on my way, pour me a whisky.” 


“As ye wish, my love.”

Chapter Text


Mo nighean donn
,” He whispered, I melted straight into the warmth of his body and allowed myself to be comforted by his radiating heat and strong heartbeat thudding against my ear. I sighed into him and held him close to me, he nuzzled into the curls atop my head and took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling heavily. 

“Are ye alright, my love?” He said,

rocking me gently in his arms and stroking tenderly on the soft skin under my shirt. 

“I am now,” I hummed. “It’s been an awful day.” I sighed and rubbed my nose on his sweater, he chuckled slightly and pulled back to look down at me. “Do ye wanna talk about it?” He raised his brow but had a soft expression on his face. 

“Let me have that dram first.” I smiled weakly and stood on my tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Come, a nighean.” He slipped his hand into mine and guided me through to the kitchen. I sat down in my usual spot at the table and placed my head in my hands. Jamie handed me the dram and I threw it back in one. 

“Christ Sassenach…that bad?” Jamie furrowed his brows and sipped on his own liquid gold. 

“You won’t even believe it,” I shook my head and moved to grab the bottle of whisky and top myself up. “I’m gonna need a lot more of this stuff to explain…” I took a sharp breath and poured the amber liquid into my tumbler. 


“Wait….Frank and his boss's wife?” Jamie shook his head in mild disbelief. I swallowed hard and nodded my head. “Yep.” 


“Jesus, Claire….I’m sae sorry.” He reached across and placed his hand over mine, squeezing gently. I offered him a small smile and nodded at him. “It’s alright, I’m not upset. I’m just shocked if anything. And I’m disappointed in Mrs Graham in all honesty. I thought she knew what it was to have a stuck up, pompous and selfish husband.” I shrugged and rolled my eyes. 

“Aye,” He cleared his throat. “I willna lie Claire, I’m glad ‘tis all over and done wi’.” He brought his hand up to cup my cheek, the padding of his thumb stroked the apple of my cheeks. I smiled softly and closed my eyes, I placed a kiss on the inside of his palm and nodded. “Me too, Jamie, I’m so glad we are together.” 

Jamie moved from the table and came around to my side, he took the dram from my hand and replaced it with his palm. He tugged gently and guided me up. “Come, Sorcha.” I followed him out of the kitchen and up to the stairs. We entered his bedroom and Jamie softly closed the door behind us. 

“Let me look after ye.” He whispered behind me, his breath hot against my neck, causing goosebumps to rise all over my body. 

“I won’t object.” I said, smiling as his hands found their way to my shoulders. He caressed for a moment before pushing his thumb into the base of my neck, a small moan escaped my lips. “Aye, noises like that Sassenach, keep ‘em comin’.” He dipped his head and brushed his coarse stubble against the soft skin behind my ear. He kissed gently, slowly moving his lips further down my neck and then back up my jaw and to my cheeks. I turned my head in his direction and captured his lips with my own. The kiss started off tender and comforting, all of our emotions pouring into it. The kiss told a story, more than words could.

Love me, have me, hold me, I’m yours, now and forever.  

I’m not sure which one of us increased the intensity of the kiss but before I knew it my arms were wound around his neck, my tongue was exploring his mouth and his hands were set firmly on my arse. I pulled away to catch a breath. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, whisky meeting ocean blue. With a heaving chest and a racing pulse I gripped him by his shirt. “Take me to bed.” 

“As ye say, my lady.” He let out a devilish laugh and lifted me by my thighs in a hurry. He quite literally threw me on the bed. His eyes scanned my body, the usual soft sea blue had turned to a dark lust filled blue. I moved my hand up to unbutton my shirt, Jamie’s hand flew up and grabbed my wrist. I looked up at him with furrowed brows. 

“Nay lass, lemme do it, Aye?” He licked his lips and pushed my hand aside. “As you wish, Master.” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and let out a childish giggle. “Call me that again, Sassenach.” He growled before almost ripping my shirt open and cupping my bra covered breast. 

“You were very rough then, Master.” I tutted. 

“Och, Aye? Ye canna handle it then…” Jamie raised a brow and bent his head to place a kiss between my breasts. I sucked in a breath. “N-no,” I stuttered. “It’s you that won’t be able to handle me.” I pushed his chest back, he raised a questionable brow and slowly moved back. I pushed myself to the edge of the bed and made my way to the side where Jamie was standing. I looked up at him through lashes and tilted my head before giving him a knowing smirk.

“Dinnae look at me like that, a nighean ,” He sighed. “It makes me want to do indecent things tae ye.” He licked his lips and placed his thumb on my chin. 

“So do it.” I shrugged. He bent down and placed a kiss to the tip of my nose. I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be going soft on me now.”

“Christ, Sassenach,” He grabbed my hand and placed it over his bulging cock. “It’s far from soft.” He smirked. 

“Let me help you, then.” I bit my lip and made my way to his button and fly, slowly pulling his pants and boxers down. My eyes never left his. His throbbing cock sprang free and he sighed in relief. I took it firmly in my hand, causing his eyes to flutter shut in pleasure. I began working his length, stopping at the tip to swipe my thumb over the pre-come building there. I dipped my head and licked up his length, he jolted back and let out a loud groan. “Fuck, Claire.” I smirked, my name coming from his lips sounded so dirty which only spurred me on, I took as much of him as I could into my mouth and sucked while working him at the base. I looked up at him, his eyes were squeezed shut and his head thrown back. His hands moved to run through my curls, he hissed slightly when I ran my teeth across his sensitive skin. Sucking the tip hard, I pulled back with a ‘pop’ . I licked my lips and went back in for more, Jamie placed his hands on my shoulder to stop me. I furrowed my brows, he shook his head. “ No , as much as I fucking love what yer doin’ right now, I must be inside ye before I die.” He pushed me down and fumbled with my jeans. 


Once he had removed all my clothes and his own shirt, there was nothing left between us, only my skin on his and there was no feeling quite like it. “Bend over, Claire.”

He said, his eyes swarming with lust. “What?!” I raised my eyebrows. 

“I love makin’ love tae ye, but right now, I need it rough. Is that alright, a nighean? ” His breath was short and his chest was heaving. “Yes, master.” He flipped me over within seconds and pulled my back flush to him. He bent over me and ran his fingers softly up my throbbing centre. I shivered as he parted me and lined himself up.

Before I even had a chance to think, I was moaning as he filled me, I took a second to take in the feeling of him. He moved slowly at first until finding the perfect rhythm and speeding up. He gripped my hip with one hand and my breast with the other, gently pinching my nipple as he rode inside of me. “Oh god,” I moaned. I pushed back against him and wiggled my hips to encourage him. 

“Harder.” I said, squeezing my eyes closed. He slapped my arse which made me squeal and then moved his hand down in between my legs to find my clit. He rubbed gently, and continued to pound into me. The familiar feeling building in the pit of my stomach. My eyes practically rolled to the back of my head as I felt the pleasure intensifying deep within. “Claire..” He groaned, I felt his body shaking behind me..he was also getting close. 

“I’m sae sorry Claire….I canna hold it any longer…” He panted in my ear. “Come with me, Jamie..” I cried as he slammed into me with hard thrusts, the sound of skin connecting with skin filled the room and the stifled moans escaping our lips. 

Moments later, we lay spent next to each other, coming down from our highs. My chest was heaving and I felt a trickle of sweat rolling down my neck. 

“Oh wow,” I sighed in fulfilment. Jamie turned to look at me and a small chuckle escaped his pink and swollen lips. “Aye.” He nodded, turning on his side and placing his hand over my heart. “Wow indeed, Sassenach.” He raised a brow. I bit my lip and pushed myself higher up the bed to prop myself against the soft pillows on his bed. 

“I never want this tae end.” Jamie said, craning his neck to look up at me. I shook my head and sighed. “Me either,” I moved to run my hands through his mangled curls. “I feel like there is a ‘but’ coming.” He swallowed. I nodded and closed my eyes momentarily. “I can’t stay here Jamie, I will have to see if I can stay with Joe for a while.” I shrugged.

Jamie propped himself up on his elbow and furrowed his brows. “Why no’?” He tilted his head in question. “Well…because of Fergus for starters, and I’ve just left Frank, how does it look if I then move straight in here?” I rested my palm flat against his cheek. 

“I dinnae ken about ye but I’d like tae tell Fergus about us and as for what people think, fuck them.” Jamie said nonchalantly. 

“It’s not as easy-“ Jamie cut me off by placing his hand over mine and clearing his throat. “Do ye wanna be wi’ me?” He asked, abruptly. I frowned in confusion. “Jamie…how many times have we been-“ He squeezed my hand. “Claire,” He said softly. “Answer the question.” He raised his brow and nodded for me to continue. 

“Of course I bloody do.” I scoffed. 

“Right then, that’s sorted, Aye?” He smirked. “We’ll tell Fergus today, after we pick him up from school. Oh and ye’ll be stayin’ here.” He half winked and I couldn’t do anything but chuckle at him. 

“Bloody scot,” I laughed before moving my head down and placing a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you.” I whispered and rubbed my nose against his.




“Oh hey bear!” Fergus grinned at me when he climbed into the back of Jamie’s car.

 “Ello soldier, how was school?” I said, raising my brow. “Uhhh, rubbish.” He scoffed.

“Why’s that?” I quizzed and glanced at Jamie who was putting on his seat belt and getting ready to pull out of the school yard. 

“There’s this new kid called Marsali and she is soooo mean to me. I tried to talk to her at lunch and she ignored me and said she didn’t want any friends.” Fergus exclaimed and rolled his eyes. 

“Well, sometimes coming to a new school can also be very daunting for some people and she might be scared to make new friends. But don’t worry, you have done the right thing by being kind to her. Keep it up.” I smiled at him and patted his leg. 

“She’s just so rude.” He scoffed.

“You know when girls are mean to you, it also means they like you..” I said and Jamie chuckled under his breath. 

“Ewwww, Claire, that's gross! I am far too young for a girlfriend plus I don’t want a mean one.” He shrugged, both me and Jamie started laughing. 

“Anyway,” Fergus said looking out the window as we passed the house. “Where are we going?” 

“Well, your dad and I thought we would take you out to pizza this evening.” I smiled and placed my hand over Jamie’s to give him a gentle squeeze. 

Oui, Oui ! Do I get to have the ice cream out of the machine too?”


“Of course you can.” I chuckled. 


We arrived at Pizza Hut and the waitress sat us down at our table. “Have whatever you want.” I winked. “Dads paying.” I followed with a low chuckle. Jamie rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. “Wait.” Fergus said, narrowing his eyes and looking between me and Jamie. “Why’re you both being so nice to me?” I feigned shock and softly pushed his arm. “Hey, I am always nice to you.” 

“True! But Da….what’ve you got to be nice for?” He quizzed and Jamie softly chuckled. “Order yer wee pizza lad and I’ll tell ye, Aye?” 

We placed our orders, Fergus opted for double pepperoni, Jamie a bbq meat feast and myself vegetable medley. 

“So, out with it!” Fergus raised his brow and looked between us, I couldn’t help but laugh and his seriousness. Jamie sighed and looked at me, I picked up Jamie’s hand and entwined his fingers through mine. Fergus glanced down at our joined hands and gave us both a confused look. 

“Claire and I….we…” Jamie stuttered and laughed at himself. “What your dad is trying to say is…your father and I are together.” I squeezed Jamie’s hand tight and Fergus looked even more confused. 

“Wait…I don’t understand.” He shook his head. 

“Well…Claire and I have liked each other fer a long time now, well actually more than that…we love each other.” Jamie said, proudly. 

Love ?!” Fergus exclaimed. 

“Yes, very much so.” I smiled. 

“But how?” Fergus shook his head in disbelief. 

“Well I don’t think we need to go into all that do we? Me and your dad are together and we are in love.”

“Hmmm…I got that yes, but I still don’t understand. Bear, you're married? ” 

I felt my heart drop into my stomach and suddenly I felt nauseous. “Well, yes I know but that’s over with.” I shook my head. 

“But what about Mr Randall?” Fergus said, shocked. 

“Fergus, there’s a lot that has happened between Frank and I. Our marriage was over a long time ago, before I fell in love with your dad.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. 

“So that kiss the other day wasn’t an accident?” He raised a brow. 

“Nah.” Jamie smirked. 

“Ah. That makes sense.” Fergus shrugged, nonchalantly.

I glanced at Jamie who shrugged at me. 

“Are you alright with this, love?” I asked softly. 

The pizza arrived before Fergus could answer my question, he immediately stuck in and forgot all about anything Jamie and I had just said. “Fergus?” I raised a brow. 

“Hmm?” He said, glancing up at me as he chomped down on a slice of pizza. 

“Me and your Da, are you alright with it?”

Fergus nodded as he took another large bite of pizza. “Uh-huh.”

I took a bite of my own and nodded at Fergus. 

“Look laddie, if ye’re worried about things changin’ or yer relationship wi’ Claire being different then dinnae worry, nothin’ is going tae change, my boy. Claire and I have been in love fer a verra long time now and nothin’ has changed, Aye?” Jamie said, picking up his own slice and taking a bite.

“I know, Da. It’s just a shock, really. But I am happy that you are happy and Bear of course, I couldn’t ask for a better person for either of you.” Fergus smiled and I felt my heart leap through my chest. 

“So you’re really alright with it?” I said, excitedly. 

“But of course! Although, are you going to be kissing in front of me again? That was so gross and I don’t want to see it!” Fergus screwed up his face and made a sick noise. 

“We shall keep it to a minimum, lad.” Jamie chuckled.

“Does this mean you're going to have a wedding and have ten babies?” Fergus questioned while sipping on his soda. 

I nearly choked on my pizza and Jamie started to laugh. “No!” I snapped and shook my head, Jamie turned his head to look at me with a puzzled expression. 

“Well, what I meant was not now..or for a long time. This is still very new between your father and I.” I cleared my throat and took a sip of my own soda. 

“Aye.” Jamie said under his breath, sighing heavily.

“Come on, laddie, finish up yer last wee slice then we can get ice cream, Hmm?”

Chapter Text


“How do you think he’s really taking it?” I looked at Jamie with a worried expression on my face, shaking my shoulders to remove my jacket and hang it up on the coat stand. Jamie sighed deeply and shrugged. “I think he’s alright wi’ it.” He pulled his lip up into a small smile. 

“I just don’t want to mess up what he’s got going on here, you know?” 

“Aye. Dinnae fash, he’s fine. He loves ye. I think he would find it hard regardless of who I am wi’ Sassench. ‘Tis only been just him and me fer a verra long time. He just needs tae adjust.” He hung his arm loosely over my shoulder. I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. 

“Do ye want a drink?” He asked, turning to the kitchen counter. I shook my head. “No, thank you,” I smiled. “I think I might take a bath, if that’s alright?” I raised a brow. 

Jamie chuckled under his breath and strode over to me, pulling me by my waist and holding me close to his chest. “This is yer home now, too. Please, dinnae ask.” He pressed his lips softly against my forehead and I nodded against him. I mumbled a ‘thank you’ under my breath and pulled back to look up at him. 

I brushed my lips across his briefly in a tender kiss. “Uhhh!” We heard from behind us. Jamie and I pulled apart as Fergus stood in the doorway. “What did I say about gross kissing?” He imitated a vomit face and shook his head. 

“I canna help it, lad. Ye’ll know how it feels when yer old enough tae have yer own wee lassie.” Jamie patted my bum gently and Fergus grimaced. 

“I will not!” He spat. “It’s so weird seeing you two like this.” He furrowed his brows and I felt a sharp pain through my chest. 

Did he not want Jamie and I together? Was it truly too hard for him? All of these thoughts swarmed my brain and I begged myself not to go down that terrible road of doubt. 

“Well, ye better get used to it. Claire isna goin’ anywhere.” Jamie pressed his lips to my cheek and I pulled away from him with bashful shyness. 

“Okay, well, you two continue being gross…I’m going to bed.” He shrugged and strode off. 

“Goodnight!” I shouted after him. Fergus waved at me through the gap in the stairs. 

“Oh god,” I sighed. “He hates us.” I joked. Jamie tutted under his breath. “He doesna, dinnae be thinkin’ like that, aye? Go and have yer wee soak and I’ll have a whisky ready for when you're out.” He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and I saluted him before making my way upstairs. 

I lowered myself into the hot, steamy, bubbly loveliness and let out a low moan from the back of my throat. I laid down, throwing my head back against the bath. My phone buzzed from the side of the sink which snapped me out of my relaxation. I grumbled under my breath, leaning over the bath I grabbed onto my phone. 


Frank Randall. 


3 texts. 1 miss call. 


I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach, instantly I felt a sense of dread and anxiety swarm my insides. I hesitated momentarily over the text message, debating with myself on whether or not I should read what he has to say. Not that it can change anything, I’m done with his excuses and with him. My thumb hovered over the message for what seemed like a lifetime before I pressed it open. 


FR: Claire, my darling…I'm so sorry. I have made the biggest mistake of my life. Please forgive me, let’s talk. I will come to pick you up tomorrow, I presume you’re with Jimmy or Joe. Let me know. All my love, Frank. 


I felt actual vomit come up from my stomach and into my mouth. Who does he think he is? And will he ever stop calling Jamie fucking ‘ Jimmy’ it makes me next level irate. He does it on fucking purpose, because to him Jamie is worthless and nothing special. In reality, it’s Frank who is nothing special. 


I bit down on my lower lip as I debated a reply, is it worth even entertaining him with a response? I shook my head at my own stupidity and threw my phone across the bathroom floor when it began to buzz again and his name flashed across the screen. He isn’t going to stop until I give him an answer. I wash myself quickly and pull myself out of the water, not as if I can relax now anyway. 

Fucking prick.

I wrapped the warm fluffy towel around my torso and threw my unruly curls into a messy bun. I made my way over to the bathroom mirror and lifted out my makeup remover from my toiletry bag before swiping the cotton pad over my eyes to remove the mascara. After I had finished my face I dried myself off, donned some clean knickers and threw my silk robe over my body to cover me. I picked up my phone. 

I now have 5 missed calls and another text. 

I open it again, sighing in frustration. 


FR: Claire, where are you?!

I closed the text and shoved my phone into the pocket of my robe. I made my way back downstairs when I entered the living room, Jamie was sitting on the couch in grey joggers and shirtless. I suck in a breath at the sight of him, his head snaps in my direction obviously feeling my presence in the room. 

“Nice soak?” He smiles, I nod and lean against the door frame. “Come, Sassenach.” He gestures with his hand to the free space on the sofa next to him. I softly shake my head. “No…I’m going to go to bed if you don’t mind.” I said, quietly. Jamie’s eyes narrowed at me and he furrowed his brows in confusion. “Are ye alright?” He said, pushing himself up off the sofa. “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired.” I shrug.

Jamie raised a brow and walked towards me. “Hmm, dinnae lie to me.” He stood in front of me with his arms folded against his chest. I swallowed hard and shook my head again. “I’m not!” I lied. 

“Aye, ye are. Ye think I canna tell? Ye think I dinnae ken ye well enough to know? ” He almost scowled and I stayed silent, licking my bottom lip. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket again and Jamie’s eyes flickered down to where the noise was coming from. “What’s goin’ on, Claire?” He quizzed. I dispute with myself over if I should tell him Frank is bothering me or to just leave it. 

He stepped a little further and reached his hand out to grab mine. “I’m here fer ye.” He said softly, his eyes filled with reassurance. I nod and feel the tears well up in my eyes. “Hey, hey.” His eyebrows knit together as he notices my upset. “I’m fine.” I wiped the little tears forming in my tear duct. “Someone who’s cryin’ isna fine.” He brought his thumb up to swipe across my cheek. 

I puff out a breath and take my phone out of my pocket, handing it to him. His brows furrowed as I unlocked it and showed him the texts I received from Frank. “Son of a bitch.” Jamie mumbled under his breath. “Dinnae let him get to ye.” He sighed. 

“Easier said than done,” I sniffed. “He’s never going to let me be happy, is he?” I cried. 

“We will sort it, Claire. I promise ye that. He willna win. I swear tae ye.” He rubbed his hand up and down my arm soothingly and I fluttered my eyes closed as the remainder of the tears fell. 

“I haven’t allowed myself to get upset over him,” I choked. “I don’t want him to have that power over me.” I shook my head and Jamie enveloped me in his arms. “Claire,” he said, lifting my chin up. “Ye were married fer a verra long time. ‘Tis only normal yer feeling this way.” His voice was soft and I always felt reassured by him. “I know,” I sighed. “I just didn’t want it to be like this, why can’t he let me go?” I looked up to Jamie’s soft eyes, he scanned my face and licked his lip before raising his brows and shaking his head. “I dinnae ken. He was stupid in the first place to ever let ye slip away. He’s only got himself to blame.” He pressed his lips firmly to my forehead. 

How can he be so fucking sweet? I don’t deserve him. 

Jamie turned back to my phone in his hand and glanced up at me. “I’m turning this off.” He said, raising a brow as if I would protest or something. “I think that’s best.” I smile and after turning the phone off he chucks it onto the sofa. “You dinnae need that tonight, mo nighean donn. Come.” He said, holding his hand out for me to take. I slip my hand into his warm palm and follow him up the stairs. 

He closed his bedroom door and slowly strode towards me, he placed his hand on my hips and turned me around so my back was against his chest. “Hmmm,” he hummed in my ear, lifting his hands from my waist and placing them on my shoulders. He massaged gently and I closed my eyes. “Yer so tense, Claire. Relax.” He hushed, pushing his thumb into the top of my spine. 

“This wee robe of yers.” He huffed under his breath. I craned my neck back to look up at him with a raised brow. “What of it?” I shrugged. He traced the edge of the pink silk with his forefinger, his skin barely touching mine but managed to set me alight. 

I let out a shaky breath when his fingers trailed up my neck, to the back of my head and to the bun atop. “May I?” He cleared his throat. “Yes.” I said, feeling the heat erupting throughout me. 

Jamie gingerly untied my hair and let it fall down onto my shoulders, hooking his finger around a tendril and humming behind me. His other hand sat firmly on my hip, giving it a tender squeeze every now and then. 

“Back tae this lovely piece of clothing…” He turns his attention back to the pink robe I donned. “I have a story about this wee thing.” He says as he slowly pushes it off my shoulder, exposing my bare skin. “Hmm?” I said, too relaxed and aroused to even form coherent words. “Do ye remember when Fergus had his wee accident?” He said, dipping his head to brush his lips against the exposed flesh. 

“Yes.” I said, through a heavy breath. “Ye came over wearing this lovely silk…and then ye nearly killed me when ye asked me to help ye take it off, do ye recall?” He said, peppering kisses from my shoulder to my neck. “Yes.” I repeated, gulping as he flicked his tongue across my skin. 

“Christ,” He sighed. “How much I wanted ye, I couldna believe how amazing ye looked. I wanted ye sae badly it took my breath away. I knew I couldna have ye…it killed me.” His voice broke and I turned back to look up at him. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. Jamie shook his head. “Nah, dinnae apologise,” He cleared his throat. “I have ye now.” He pressed his lips to my cheek. “Yes,” I nodded. “You do.” I crash my lips against his, bringing him into a frenzied and reckless kiss, my tongue pushing into his mouth begging him to let me in. His tongue met my own in a euphoric dance, his hands moved from my shoulder to spin me around and found my ass. 

He pulled away for a short breath and rested his head against my forehead. Panting, he shook his head. “That night, the way I saw ye wi’ Fergus, caring fer him, making him feel safe. I knew I would love ye fer the rest of my life, Claire.” I pulled my head back slightly to catch his eyes. 

I felt completely overwhelmed by his words, by him

“What?” I said quietly, shaking my curls. “That’s how long you’ve loved me?” I felt tears pricking my eyes and I swallowed the lump in my throat. 

“Aye.” He whispered. “I have,” He coughs. “I thought I’d never have ye, not truly . I mourned fer ye, fer something I never even had. But I never thought…” I cut him off with a hush. “Don’t.” I placed my forefinger on his lips. “Don’t say any more. You have me, Jamie. You will always have me.” He nodded against my lips and kissed the padding of my finger softly. I removed my finger and replaced it with my lips. 

“Now, take me to bed.” 

Chapter Text



I woke up to her mass of curls sprawled across my chest, the light rise and fall of her shoulders and her arm loosely draped over my abdomen. I let out a contented sigh as I brushed the loose tendrils away from her face. Christ. She’s beautiful.  

Sometimes, I wonder if my heart will truly burst from the love I feel for her. It goes beyond any feeling I’ve ever felt, it’s surely my strongest emotion. I have never needed someone the way I need her. I’ve had a lot of relationships in the past, sure. Some serious, some not but this is nothing like ever before. 

I thought I found the love of my life when I was with Annelise all those years ago, I thought she was what ‘love’ is. Until I met Claire who showed me exactly what it is to love someone with every ounce of your being. I wake up everyday and find that I love her more than I did the day before. I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this much. 

Mo chalman geal. (my white dove.) 

Loving her has been my greatest achievement thus far. Aside from Fergus, that is. Loving him as my son, being his father is the most important thing in the world to me. And now, so is being the person Claire deserves. 

I brushed my thumb over the small creases in her forehead, gingerly smoothing them out. 

Dinnae frown, Sassenach. I’m here. 

I brought my arm around her shoulder and gently squeezed her to me, wishing to somehow be closer to her. She groaned slightly in her sleep. I could sit here all day and watch her sleeping, she looked so peaceful, so precious. 

Christ, I’m done for.

Her eyes fluttered and she darted her tongue out to wet her lips. She sighed and stretched against my body, letting out a little squeak as she did so. “Jamie?” She mumbled, her voice thick from sleep yet still delicate. 

“Aye,” I brushed my lips to the top of her head. “Mornin’, love.” She hummed against my chest and curled her lip into a half smile before dipping her head and brushing her soft lips against my chest. 

“Good morning.” She whispered against my skin, goosebumps erupted throughout my body and my cock twitched.

Down, boy.

I moved the duvet over her slightly, exposing her porcelain skin. The morning air kissing her skin caused small pimples to rise all over her body. I traced my finger from her jaw in between her breasts and splayed my hand on her soft stomach. She let out a small moan when my skin touched hers, her eyes fluttered closed and a small smile pulled at the corner of her lips. “Jamie.” She said, slightly breathless. 

“Aye?” I said, tracing my finger around her navel, making her stomach suck in when I brushed against her pubic bone. She didn’t respond, only let out a low chuckle when I moved to her hip and stroked her there, before moving down to her thighs and giving the flesh a gentle squeeze. She groaned and let out a heavy breath. “What d’ye need, Sassenach?” I hummed, tracing my eyes over her exposed breasts. “You.” She mumbled. 

“Ye’ll have to speak up, my love .” I joked, licking my lips when I moved my hand between her legs and parted them, bringing my hand to stroke the inside of her milky thigh. “You, Jamie.” She said, her chest heaving as she watched my hand from under the covers. “Me? fer what?” I cocked my head to the side and gave her a questionable look. “Fuck, Jamie. You know what!” She said through gritted teeth. I moved higher up and softly flicked my finger over her fold, her natural reaction was to squeeze her legs shut but I pushed them open gently with my palm. 

“I canna do much wi’ yer legs shut, Claire.” I murmured when I pressed a soft kiss between her breasts. “Touch me, please.” She sighed and slightly arched her back when I latched onto a nipple. 

“Hmmm.” I grunted against her skin. I moved my hand back between her legs to part her folds and gently traced my finger up her slit. “Like this?” I said, flattening my tongue against her breast. “Yes.” She stuttered. “Aye, my love, I got ye.” I moved higher up to hit her sweet spot and began moving in circular motions. My cock was getting harder with every second I was pleasuring her. I inserted a finger inside and she groaned in response, arching upwards as I started to pump. 

I continued my movements and pushed myself further down the bed, I pressed my lips to her pubic bone and her hands moved to fist the sheet on the bed. 

“I’ll have tae taste ye, Claire,” I almost growled when I moved further and kissed her clit, her legs jolted and she nodded profusely. “Please.” She said through a heavy breath, her eyes squeezed shut. 

I moved further down and pulled out my finger to replace it with my tongue. She moaned at the loss of contact momentarily before my mouth attached to her heat and she snapped her hips forward. I chuckled under my breath before licking up her slick folds and finding her clit, sucking it into my mouth and swirling my tongue around the little nub. Claire practically convulsed from under me, I felt my cock press hard against the bed. I couldn't help but move my hand to grab the length and give it a soft pump whilst my mouth continued flicking and sucking against Claire’s pink flesh. “Oh Jamie,” She groaned and moved her hands to my head and fisted my curls. I continued to stroke my cock as my mouth moved fast against her. 

I could tell she was close because her legs had started to shake and she was whimpering under her breath. I flattened my tongue against her clit before swirling my tongue around it and then sucking it into my mouth. “Yes, just like that!” She cried out. 

At this rate I’m going to come before she does, I felt that fucking turned on by her. I pumped harder and sucked faster before pulling away altogether. Claire practically screamed in frustration. “What the fuck!” She shouted. “I’m sorry, Claire. I need tae be inside ye.” I crawled onto the bed and settled myself between her legs. Before lining myself up and teasing the end of my cock against her clit, she whimpered and threw her hands to my arse to push me into her. “Stop fucking teasing me!” She said through a heavy breath. 

I smirked and giggled at her, she gave me a stern look and I gave no warning before I gripped her thigh and slammed into her. Claire arched her back so far off the bed she nearly hit the ceiling. I stilled for a moment, adjusting to being inside her. “Move.” She demanded and pushed further against my arse. “As ye wish,” I said, a devilish smirk across my face and I rocked against her. Feeling that familiar burning build up deep in my stomach. “Fuck! Ye feel sae good.” I groaned, pushing myself as far into her as I possibly could. At this point, she could swallow me whole and I wouldn’t care. 

“Oh,” She moaned, moving against me and snaking her hand between our joining to rub her own clit. I bit down on my lip as I watched her fingers work their magic as I slammed into her. Her legs wrapped around low on my hips and she threw her head back when her legs began to shake. “I can’t last much longer.” She cried, rubbing harshly against herself. “Dinna fash, come fer me, mo nighean .” I moved my hands from her thighs and gripped her hips to tilt her at a different angle, this seemed to spur her on and she rode against me. “Oh god! yes , now - Jamie - yes!” She shouted as her legs shook from around me and her orgasm washed over her pretty face. I let out a gluttonous groan and followed straight after her, spilling inside her. My legs shook from underneath me and my arms trembled as I shouted her name in the most sinful way. 

“Jesus Christ!” Claire groaned as I pulled out of her and flopped down next to her. 

“G’mornin, Sassenach.” I grinned. 




Sometime later we had showered and gotten dressed, I went off to work and Claire took Fergus to school. I pulled up outside the office and practically skipped into the building. Murtagh was sitting at his desk with his head resting on his palm and a coffee in his other hand. 

“Mornin’ lad.” He mumbled. 

“Mornin’, how are ye?” I said, shrugging off my suit jacket. 

“Aye, fine laddie. How’re ye? And yer wee lassie?” He raised a brow and smirked at me. 

“Ochhh, we’re great. We told Fergus about us.”

“Oh aye? How did that go?” Murtagh said, taking a sip on his coffee. 

“Aye, it went well. It’ll take the lad time tae get used tae us but he loves Claire.” I smiled at the thought of my son and my - my…well we haven’t really figured that part out. I haven’t actually asked her to be my girlfriend , I just kind of presumed. 

“I’m really happy for ye, Jamie. Yer Ma would be verra proud.” Murtagh leaned over and slapped my shoulder and I nodded at him in thanks. 

“Best get some work done, aye? Or I’ll be sitting here talkin’ bout Claire all day.” I laughed and Murtagh nodded. 

Just as I logged into my computer, my phone rang. 

Janet calling…

I picked up the phone and smiled as my sister's voice swarmed my ears. 

“Brother!” She exclaimed. 

“Aye, how are ye, Janet?” 

“Ochhh, we’re fine. I miss ye so.” She sighed. 

“Aye, I ken. I’m goin’ tae try tae come tae Scotland soon.” I said, with a hopeful tone. 

“Weeel, I was thinkin’ bout that,” She said, taking a breath before continuing. “Ian has some time off work coming up and I was wonderin’ if we could pay ye a wee visit?”

“Oh Jenny! You dinnae need to ask, of course ye can. I would love that.” I smiled like an idiot. 

“Great! I thought mebbe we could do the week.” Jenny said.

“Aye, I’m sure Murtagh would give me some time off.” I said, eyeing Murtagh as I said so. He looked me up and down and softly nodded his head. 

“He’s here wi’ me now, he said he will.” I said, excitedly. 

“Christ, how I’ve missed that old coot.” She chuckled and Murtagh’s ears pricked up before he shouted back. “Oi! I heard that, ye wee devil. I’ll get ye when ye arrive Janet .” 

“I cannae wait!” Jenny said. 

“Ye will finally be able tae meet Claire.” I said, smiling at the thought of the two most important women in my life finally meeting. 

“Pardon?” Jenny’s voice changed stern. 

“Ochhh, aye, sister I havena told ye. Claire and I are together now.” I said, proudly. 

The phone went silent and all I could hear was Jenny clearing her throat. “I’m sorry brother,” She finally spoke. “But I’m no’ quite sure I understand.” I could hear the ferocity in her voice. 

“What’s there no’ tae understand, Janet?” I furrowed my brows and bit down on my lip. 

“Weel, fer starters - how can ye be wi’ her? She's marrit?” Jenny quizzed. 

“Aye, but she’s no’ wi’ him anymore. He’s a bastard. ” I said through gritted teeth at the mere thought of Frank Randall.

“Right…sae she just jumped straight into yer bed then?” I could picture Jenny now with her arms crossed and her brow raised high enough to touch the roof. 

“It’s not like that, Janet!” I snapped. 

“Is it no? Well then, brother, what is it like?” 

“I love her. And she loves me.” 

“Oh she does, does she? Just like the last one loved ye? Hmm?” She scoffed under her breath. 

“Claire is nothing like Annelise, dinna ever compare!” I spat, feeling the blood begin to boil throughout my veins. 

“Is she no? Well, Jamie. Once a cheater always a cheater. ” She was clearly rolling her eyes at me. I could bloody see it through the phone without even looking at her. 

“A cheater?” I laughed. “Alright, Jen, that also makes me a cheater.” 

“Nae, it doesna! Yer twisting my words. Look, I just dinna wanna see yer heart being broken again.” I sighed. 

“My heart is none of your concern, and Claire certainly will not break it. I’m no’ listening to this anymore, Janet, goodbye.” 

“Jamie! Wait..-“ I cut the phone off and slammed it down on my desk. I pushed off from my office chair and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind me, ignoring Murtaghs shouts after me. “Fuck!” I shouted and left the building without another thought.