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Pictures Of You

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Title: Pictures of you.

Author: Kerri

Characters: Michael/Maria. (Roswell.)

Rating: Mature over all.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. I’m just using them for my own perverted sense of fun.

Feed back: Sure thing! Feedback is always helpful.

Summary: Life is a series of pictures - of memories - it’s the people you share them with, that make them what they are.

Authors note. This is from Michael’s POV.


I’m not good with words. With flowery poetry and poorly sung ballads at your window. I suck at choosing presents, something Isabel has reminded me off, for most of our lives. I’m not good at opening up to people - at letting people inside. I’m not good at showing them how much I care. There are only a few things that I am good at, and art is one of them.

I live in the shadows. I hide in shades of grey, black and white. We don’t trust, we keep it a secret, and we stick together. And in the echo of a gunshot, our secret was exposed, and you were brought into my life. And the longer you stayed, the more you crept inside me, the more I noticed how much colour I lacked in my world.

All spectrums of the rainbow, and each shade reminds me of you. The softest green for your eyes, and rose pink for your lips. Cream for your skin, and golden brown for your hair. The colours of your emotions, as they are painted for the whole world to see. I often envy you for that - a sharp shade of emerald green, as your laughter lights up the room around you.

I hide that envy in sharp tones and by pushing you away. By telling you that it is too dangerous for us to be together. You see through the murky lies, and shine the light of truth in my eyes. Sunny yellow for your happiness, as you laugh and live, and sing until your voice is hoarse. Your happiness lights up my dark world, and brings warmth. It warms my skin, and warms my heart, and the darkness retreats, unable to cast shadow against such brightness.

A murky shade of blue for your unhappiness. In the tears that shine in your eyes, and the shadows that appear under your eyes when I hurt you. The tightening of your lips, and the rounding of your shoulders as you wait for the blow that will never come. In times of blue, I wish life came with a giant eraser, so that I could rub that blue away, and bring back the yellow.

A dull grey, when grief tears you apart and your voice cracks with sorrow as you bury your childhood friend. My darkness has tainted you now: my dark secret and the differences that make us what we are. And during these shades of grey, I do my best to erase them with support and tissues and tea, but I know it isn’t enough. I can’t bring back the dead, and I open myself to you, so that you have a safe place to hide.

A full colour pallet the night I let you in, and you let me love you. The faintest shade of pink as you blushed, and warm honey as candle light played over your naked skin. I can’t give you up, Maria. I just can’t. You make me human. Nevertheless, I have too. It’s going to kill me, but I can’t stay. Max got Tess pregnant, and it is shades of black, as shame covers him in pain.

All I have is now - in the night lit by candles, and secrets, and learning what your skin tastes like when I reveal your body to my eyes for the first time. Of knowing what it feels like to lay in your arms, and to hear that sudden intake of breath when all barriers disappeared and your nails cut into my shoulders. And I curse him silently as I burry my face in your hair and shudder.

He’s my friend and my King, and I have no choice. I have to follow him. I have to leave your shades of yellows, and follow him to an acid green planet, that is making my stomach curdle with fear. We’re just kids. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want this. I want to live in your colour spectrum, and wrap myself in the warm purple of your love.

A brilliant shade of red, when the truth is revealed. It steals the colour from your skin, and brings ugliness to your voice. His death tore us apart, and forged new bonds. You, Liz, Kyle and I on one side, as Isabel’s world crumbles, and Max scrambles to beg Liz’s forgiveness for his mistake with Tess. Tess, who carries his child. Tess, who killed Alex. Liz was right, and Max was wrong - I swear, you’ll never wear that shade of grey or red again.

The beginnings of a warmer shade of yellow when you realize that I stayed for you. You, who light up my world, and bring warmth to the colder places I hide in. So no, I won’t bring you unexpected presents. I won’t sing cheesy love songs to you, as I try to win you back. I won’t take you hang gliding with my powers, as I tell you that fucking Tess was something I had to experience, but that I’m over now. I won’t expect you to forgive me, and I won’t drag you under the way Max has with Liz.

I’ll stand in the shadows, as pride replaces envy, and lights up our world in a brilliant shade of white. I’ll listen to the sound of applause, as your childhood dream is answered, and your name bounces around the world in lights. They scream your name as you sing, and you look towards me, with a knowing look in your eyes, and love in your voice as I watch you.

You taught me how to feel - how to love, laugh and feel pride not only in myself, but in those around me. You taught me how to listen and relax and to trust. I stepped out of the shadows for you, and became a man. I left the scared little boy in the dream, and woke up because of you. Max and Isabel led me to the light - now I stand in it with you.

I’ll relax into calming shades of blue, as the lights dim for the night, and it is you and me, wrapped together in the darkness. Not Maria DeLuca - superstar! Just Maria - my girl. I’ll follow you, as you follow your dream, because mine is already answered. A place to call home. That home could be in a hotel room in London or Tokyo - it doesn’t matter - we are together.

All I ask, is that you let me love you the only way I know how. That you love me, the way you do. That when I buy you a bumper bar instead of pearl earrings, that you hide the fact you know Isabel saved my hide again. And that when I can’t take it any more, you save me in the darkness of the rainy nights, and hold me as my walls crumble under the strength of your love.

This is my colour pallet. All the spectrums of the rainbow, that I never knew existed. I can’t voice them, but you don’t expect me too. You don’t need me too. Because you stand in the shadows, wrapped in my shirt, with your hair tousled, and your eyes heavy with sleep. And you watch me paint in the early hours of the morning; as I paint my emotions for all the world to see. No hiding how I learned to love, when my love is painted as pictures of you.