Damiano’s having a cigarette outside when Ethan appears and leans on the wall next to him.
“Hey man,” Damiano gestures with the pack, “Do you want one?”
Ethan holds up a hand, refusing. “I’m good.” He pulls his jacket around him. “That was actually kinda fun.”
“The interview? Yeah, it was OK.” One thing about talking to a queer magazine, the questions about sex weren’t meant to catch them out or cause scandal. At least, it didn’t seem that way, who knew what the article would look like when it was published.
“So,” says Ethan, “Curious?”
A little knot of nerves appears deep in Damiano’s stomach. Which is stupid, being slightly bicurious is - it’s barely anything. He shrugs.
“Well you know, it wouldn’t be good publicity if I was just straight.” He grins, hiding his discomfort. “Thomas is letting us down, maybe we need to have a meeting about it. Maybe you should have a word with him, get him to be a bit more, how did you put it - sexually free?”
“If Thomas wanted that, then I would.” He isn’t taking the bait, isn’t letting Damiano turn this into a joke. “Look, I just wanted to say that if you want to talk about it, that’s cool. Or more.” Those last two words are startling. He’s so casual about it, it makes Damiano feel that, for all his swagger, he’s way behind.
“More? What, like, now?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself. Ethan laughs.
“That’s not what I meant, but if you want to, then sure.”
There’s a thrill about doing this in a public bathroom, having made their excuses to Thomas and Victoria. It’s the one in the lobby of the office building where they were being interviewed - it’s quiet, there aren’t that many people here, but there’s still a chance they might get caught. Now that would be a scandal. Ethan’s hand feels good on his cock, of course it does, and Damiano is very conscious of the smell of him, different to a girl, not because of any difference in soap or shampoo - Ethan looks after that long hair of his properly, after all - but underneath that, the scent of his body, his breath and sweat. Not that it’s good or bad - just different.
“Do you like that?” Ethan murmurs.
“Um, yeah, yeah it’s good.”
Ethan presses him further into the door of the stall and bends over, licking a long stripe up the shaft of Damiano’s cock above his hand. He looks up expectantly, and Damiano nods. Ethan gets on his knees.
“God, you’re so big.”
“If it’s too much -” But Ethan is shaking his head.
“Oh no, that’s not a problem. Really not a problem.”
He’s not kidding. His enthusiasm is obvious as he takes Damiano into his mouth, making obscene, wet noises that echo off the bathroom tiles. As he takes it down further, into his throat, it feels amazing, of course it does, just physically, a warm, wet mouth along with Ethan’s hand wrapped around the base, moving in time, that’s just, there’s no way that could feel bad. But something’s not quite there.
Ethan immediately sits back on his heels. “Is something wrong?”
“Don’t worry, you haven’t done anything wrong, it just doesn’t feel right.” That’s not it. “I mean it doesn’t - it’s not -”
“You’re not into it.” Ethan stands up. “That’s totally cool.”
“You were really good,” Damiano adds hastily as he does his trousers up again. “You’re great at that, seriously, it’s just…”
“Not for you.”
Damiano nods. “Yeah. I guess it’s not.”
Ethan places a hand on his shoulder. “And that’s fine. I wouldn’t want to do anything you don’t want, so it’s good, you know, that you stopped it.”
Damiano knows that’s the right thing to say, that it’s the right thing to have happened. But still.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
“I’m not disappointed,” Ethan says firmly. He takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the time. “Let’s go and get a coffee or something.”
He unlocks the stall door, and they rejoin the rest of the world.
There’s no cool or subtle way to say it, so he just says it.
“I want to try again. What we did the other day.”
Ethan nods slowly. “Are you sure?”
“Fuck, no not really.” He runs a hand through his hair, the rings on his fingers catching in it and tugging. “But if I'm gonna, it’s you.”
That’s enough for Ethan to pull him into an empty dressing room, kissing him hard even as he reaches to lock the door. They've just recorded a performance for TV, and it’s always so strange coming out of the studio feeling like it's the end of the night, covered in sweat and makeup, when it's only mid-afternoon - though in the bowels of the studio, only the clock on the wall lets on. They won't be missed for a little while. They have time for this. Ethan's hand goes lower, tugging on the button above Damiano's fly.
“No, no,” Damiano pushes Ethan away and goes to his knees, looking up to silently ask for permission. His stomach is churning, but it's like stage fright - excitement as well as tension.
“Fuck, you really want to do that?”
Damiano nods and starts undoing Ethan's tight trousers. He's finding it easier to just do things than try to speak, and when Ethan rests a hand on the back of his head, he takes that as his cue to continue. His show-off instincts make him want to try and deepthroat it straight away, but he knows that probably wouldn't end well. Instead, he just starts with his tongue on the head, thinking about what he likes as well as times he's been with girls who were just learning how to do this, what worked for them. Ethan groans.
“Yeah that's it, just take it slow… Relax.”
Damiano does relax his jaw and throat more, gagging a little but managing to keep breathing. Ethan is sweaty, that smell he noticed last time is overpowering, almost disgusting, though he finds he likes it more because of that. He keeps going to the soft sound of Ethan's encouragement, but there's something off about this still, an itch that isn't being scratched. He pulls off, breathing fast.
“Ethan… You don't have to be nice to me.”
Time seems to stop as they look at each other, Ethan's expression inscrutable, as it so often is. Then Ethan grabs Damiano's hair tight, and pushes him back down onto his cock. Damiano isn't in control now, trapped as the other man thrusts roughly into his mouth and that's it, that's what he's been missing. Everything else seems to float away, any doubts about what this is or what it means, none of that matters. He just has to be ready and open, just has to let himself be used. His eyes are watering, his eyeliner must be smudged a little less artfully now, and the thought of going back out there knowing what he’s just let Ethan do to him is making him hard. He moans then, or it’s something like a moan, just a noise of release and relief that might be too loud but right now he doesn’t give a fuck. Ethan pulls him away, still holding onto his hair.
“I’ll give you something to moan about.” He takes his cock in his hand and starts pumping his fist, holding Damiano in place with the other. Damiano closes his eyes just in time, seconds before Ethan’s cum splashes across his face. It cools quickly, making him uncomfortably aware of how wet and sticky he is, though he doesn’t try to wipe it off either. It doesn’t feel like that’s up to him. Ethan’s foot nudges against his knee, and he opens his eyes again.
“Was that OK?” Damiano asks.
“Yeah. Not bad for a first time.” He's smiling wryly, keeping up an act. He plants his foot on Damiano’s thigh, and there’s something about that which gets the singer’s head swimming all over again. “What about you? Do you wanna come?”
Obviously. “Yeah, I do.”
“Go on then. Touch yourself.”
Ethan doesn’t move his foot as Damiano gets his cock out, and that makes him want to die in the best way possible. He barely lasts a minute. While he’s still panting on the floor, Ethan moves away and unlocks the door. With one brief look back, he leaves.
There’s a lot more Damiano is curious about now.