Work Header

Sanders Sides Parenting One-Shots

Chapter Text

Virgil and Roman had been dating since high school so their relationship was 10 years strong, and they had been working hard to hopefully settle down - that time had come. They had officially achieved the suburban lifestyle with a two bedroom house, a golden retriever named Walt and two cats (Virgil couldn't choose just one at the shelter) named Jack and Sally. They were even engaged and planned to get married in the summer at Disney World.

The last thing on their relationship bucket list was kids - they had always wanted a family. Roman had a close relationship with his twin brother and Virgil had been an only child so they both agreed two kids was as far as they'd go. Of course though it was a lot harder as they were both cisgender men - and although they thought of adoption they decided raising a baby from a newborn was important for them.

"I'm telling you JD - she is the one!" Roman was shouting from the kitchen, mid cooking pasta while Virgil was sipping tea and organising the many design drafts he spent all day panicking over. His fiancé was talking about the surrogate of course that would be carrying their baby. And after what seemed like hundreds of interviews the pair had found an accepting, kind and non-money-hungry woman to carry their child for them. She physically looked like a mixture between the two of them too. "I'm so excited Smellington... We'll be Dads!"

"Now it's just whose seed we use first." Virgil responded quietly, making Roman chuckle. He rolled his eyes before even hearing what his lover was going to say.

"Definitely mine for the oldest, I give the better genes!" He proclaimed fiercely, kissing one of his biceps making even the sarcastic and slightly aggressive Virgil give him a fond smile. That was until he realised what Roman was implying and stood to correct him.

"I bet I could beat you in any competition babe." Virgil brought his arms around Roman's waist, his head laying on his lover's shoulder. The faint smell of tomatoes erupted around him making him smile and mumble. Roman smiled wider and kissed Virgil's cheek. "Can we make it a challenge? Because I'll win."

"You bet."


Roman thought he knew his fiancé well enough, and therefore he knew how to win this competition. The pair had decided on three categories: brawn, brains and dad jokes. Whoever won the most of these three categories had the first genetic child.

First categories was brawn, which Roman was confident about. Roman had been a gym rat since college with his twin brother (going to the gym was a bonding experience for both of them) and therefore was quite physically fit, while Virgil spent all his days inside listening to his Spotify playlists and drawing. So after Roman's latest rehearsal the pair visited the local gym, and they faced the dozens of weights available.

"Right, Doctor Gloom," Roman stood in front of Virgil and gave him a kiss on the hand. "Whoever holds the heaviest weight above his head wins, got it?"

Virgil chuckled to himself, stepping forward and focusing on the variety of weights in front of him. He picked up two 5kg dumbbells and held them both above his head; Roman chuckled and tutted in response and did the same with 10kg dumbbells. "Beat that Emo Nightmare." He laughed. Virgil rolled his eyes again.

"Alright..." Virgil dropped the two weights and examined the rest, his eyes landing on a 25kg dumbbell. Roman knew there was no way he'd be able to even hold that - his fiancé was a scrawny small 5'9 baby face that only picked up art supplies on a regular basis. Although, it would be fun to watch him try so he stood back. Virgil gave the weight a determined glare, deciding to grab it with both hands first before taking a deep breath and trying to lift it. He spread out his legs slightly and took a large huff - and he held it much to his fiancé's surprise. His only response was a half turn and his normally sarcastic and witty response. "The power of triangles motherfucker."

Roman knew he himself couldn't lift a weight higher than 25kg above his head. And Virgil knew that, placing the weight down safely with a smirk. "So do I win?" He said innocently, fluttering his eyelashes as Roman held him. Eventually he had to give in and nod. "Ha! I win!" Virgil gave his fiancé a kiss and lead him out of the gym back home for the next round.


Second round was brains - and again Roman was relatively confident on it. For this they decided to torture each other and found a worksheet with one question from each grade of education in English, maths, history, geography and social studies. Whoever got the most correct would win, extra boasting rights if the winner finishes first. They sat opposite each other after dinner, the 10 worksheets in front of them and glared at each other mischievously. Roman started the timer and then they scribbled.

Roman did steal a few glances at his fiancé of course. He doubted he knew Virgil as well as he thought after the triangle dumbbell incident - he was still going to marry him of course just not trust him around heavy weights. Virgil was concentrating, his head down on the paper as he chewed the end of his pencil to focus more. After an hour or so Virgil finally looked up with a soft smirk, and ushered his paper forward. "I would like the answers please Sir Sing-A-Lot."

The concentrated Roman pointed to an open laptop that was faced away from them but held the answers to all of the questions they had to answer. Virgil examined it all silently to allow Roman to carry on. He placed his phone (that was in his lap as always) on the table, and all was silent until the phone vibrated - indicating a text. Roman leaned over to read said text and sure enough it was from the pair's high school mutual friend - Logan.

Logan: Does that answer make sense Virge? Good luck on your quiz!

"AHA!" Roman screamed and stood, making his lover flinch and look scared for a moment. But he smiled and held his husband in a hug, giving him a kiss, and because of that Virgil initially thought it was some kind of good news. "I knew you cheated." Roman whispered, then grabbed the purple phone on the table and showed him. Virgil scowled but smiled again. "I think that means I win..."

"Not so fast." Virgil gave him a peck on the lips. "A good person would have no problem asking a friend for help on anything - even as silly as a quiz - rather than stressing. Life shouldn't be devoted to trying to be the best at a silly exam."

Roman only mumbled in response and crossed his arms, showing that Virgil had won. He pouted to try to persuade his fiancé but he wouldn't take it - instead cupping the beautiful man's face and giving him a longer kiss. "I wanted to share the Dad jokes I researched!" Roman whined, his voice angelic to Virgil. "I used to play piano by ear..." Roman started, and Virgil couldn't help but chuckle. "But now I use my hands."

"Well..." Virgil mumbled, trying to think of a joke at the top of his head. He wasn't that good without plans - but due to his anxiety he had to do it a lot. "If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

Roman giggled softly, getting even closer to Virgil if that was even possible. And after a lot of kissing the two went to bed happily, planning to call their surrogate the next day to organise a conception date. "I'm glad our kid will be half you." Roman eventually whispered as the two cuddled in bed together. "It will be perfect."


It took about a year but soon Roman and Virgil were fathers. Their little girl, Valentina Rae, was born on Valentine's Day (as cliche as that sounded Roman couldn't stop bragging about it) and she was perfect. Very loud like Roman, and cried a lot like Virgil, but that wasn't a bother for either of them. Although as soon as she was born Roman wouldn't stop reminding his now husband of their promise - he was going to be genetically related to their second kid in 3 or 4 years when Valentina begins Kindergarten.

But even Virgil must admit that when he saw Roman singing lullabies to their daughter at 1am, with Valentina's soft gurgles in the background as she tried to sing along, he wondered if that date should come sooner than they previously thought.