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Let's Get Married

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Baz

It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

I’m gonna marry Simon Snow.

I mean, someday. Maybe not today (although if he wanted to, I would run to city hall with him and sign the papers right now. We’d have Bunce as our witness. Maybe Shepard could be there. I’m starting to like him more and more. He annoys Bunce with his Normal charm and it’s fun to watch)

It’s game night in our flat. Which is a shame, it’s lovely out. It’s the exact temperature I like to go out in, and it’s a summer night, the best kind of night. Moving to America exposed us to many different weather climates. 

Simon’s weird obsessions with board games became my problem every time we went out to Target (Snow loves Target. I don’t blame him. It’s huge. We buy virtually everything there. Except for clothes. I’ll never stoop to that. No offense if people do, but my family back home will smell the material and know it’s not designer.) They have the weirdest board games. And it seems like we have all of them. The collection just grows.

We’re playing a classic tonight. Monopoly. Well, Strip Monopoly. (Every time you get a monopoly, the other person has to remove an article of clothing) I love that Simon insists on this version of the board game, it gets boring pretty quickly with just two people, and he sucks at collecting monopolies. He thinks I’m cheating when I roll the dice (“Baz, no magic!” “Love, I’m not using magic. I’m just good at bending my wrists and using my fingers.” He blushes. “I’ll say.”) We also have drinks to get us slightly intoxicated, but not enough that we’re downright plastered and aren’t aware of our thoughts. Just enough that everything is slightly funnier.

I’ve already collected Red and Light Blue. Simon’s shirtless (he tends to add a lot more layers whenever we play a strip version of a game. He had a (my) cardigan over a basic white tee and he usually wears athletic shorts underneath his sweatpants. It’s funnier when he has to remove the extra layers before I even get something off) and he’s running his hands through his hair. His wings aren’t spelled to be gone, so they’re open behind him, his tail moving around with anxiety as he looks at the board. His shoulders are dropped and since I don’t want to discourage him, I don’t laugh. But I do smile.

“Stop smiling.” He says, not looking up from the board.

“How can I when my beautiful boyfriend is shirtless in front of me?” I take a sip of my margarita, savoring the taste. (Simon makes a mean drink. I’m encouraging him to take mixology classes. He claims he hates them but he’s always buzzing with excitement when he comes back from them, telling me what concoction he’s learned. I think he likes doing it because it reminds him of mixing potions.)

“Yeah yeah yeah. I thought I was gonna be better this round.”

“You almost have a yellow monopoly. You just better hope I don’t get to it first.”

“No! You can’t. House rules!” (We have our own rules. Simon says it’s to make the game more interesting, I know it’s to make it easier for him. We’re playing the house rule where if you already have two of a color, the other can’t steal up the last spot. If we each had one of the said color, then whoever gets on the last spot first gets the monopoly, but a trade has to happen for the other persons' benefit. Simon likes an easy game.)

I shrug my shoulders. He grumbles something and rolls the dice. He lands on a chance spot. He picks up one of the cards and groans. 

“What is it?”

“It’s another player's birthday. Give $50 to a player of your choosing.” I’m beaming, I’m beaming and he’s scowling. Poor boy. I place my hand out, making a ‘gimme’ motion with my hand. He rolls his eye and places a $50 on my hand and I add it to my pile of money.

“This game isn’t fair.”

“I would say it’s pretty fair to me. Seeing you shirtless and flustered and only for a game.”

“Shut up.” But the corners of his lips flick up into a small smile. He looks up at me and hypnotizes me with his ocean eyes. 

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you

“I love you.” I say. He turns his head, confused.

“Weird moment for you to tell me that.”

“It’s just...the way you’re looking at me. I don’t know.” I’m fiddling with my game piece. I’m the cat. Simon’s the dog. He grabs my hand and my cat falls and my heart (it always does whenever he touches me. He’s intoxicating in the best possible way) 

“You do know. Spit it out.”

Well, I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go

I want to marry Simon Snow. Right now. Bollocks, he’s gonna think I’m crazy when I tell him. Maybe I shouldn’t. It might finally scare him off (although, nothing has scared him off so far. He’s really in it with me now. He had his chance to leave me, and he’s still here.)

I’m gonna tell him I want to marry him.

Like today. Like walk hand and hand into the courthouse and demand they allow us to elope.

No one will know, oh, come on boy

It’s just us in our flat. I didn’t realize he got closer to me, I didn’t process his hand on top my knee, stroking it so gently.

I should just spit it out.

“I wanna marry you.”

“Baz, I know this.”

“No, I mean like right now. Like I want to be married to you already. Like, I want to be your husband right now.”

He looks at me with the widest eyes I’ve ever seen on him. His hand stills in mine, the gears turning in his head. I can tell he’s processing, but I don’t know what the result is gonna be.

Who cares if we're trashed, got a pocket full of cash we can blow

Shots of patron and it's on, boy

“Baz is this the drinks talking cause-“

“No, Simon. Of course not. I really want to be married to you right now. It just, I don’t know. It feels right. It already feels like we’re married, why not make it official to the law?”

Don't say no, no, no, no, no

“Are you sure?”

“I’m the one telling you I want to marry you! I just want to know your response. I just want to know if you’re okay with getting married with me tonight.”

Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

“Baz-“

“Simon, it won’t break me if you say no. I’ll understand. I’m spewing craziness right now. I kind of wish I was drunk so I could blame it on the alcohol, but Crowley, I’m so in love with you. Running off and getting eloped with you just feels right. I’ve never wanted a big wedding. Just a wedding with you.

And we'll go, go, go, go, go

“Okay.”

If you're ready, like I'm ready

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Yes. I’ll marry you. Tonight.”

I smile at him. He’s smiling back.

Simon

'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Baz and I are gonna get married. 

Blimey, this is really happening.

I’m letting it happen.

I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, it’s Baz. Who wouldn’t? 

He stands up, throws me my shirt, and runs to our room, only to run back. I laugh.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know! I’m still super excited you said yes! We gotta call Bunce and Shepard. And Wellbelove. If she’ll pick up. I’ll call Dev and Niall. Oh my gosh.” He grabs my cheeks and kisses me, before grabbing his phone, dialing someone.

“Bunce. Is Shepard with you? On a date, are we?”

I hear Penelope yell “Shut up you bugger” and I laugh. 

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you, oh

“We’re getting married.” He puts the phone on speaker.

“I know Baz, you talk about marrying him all the time.” I blush, throwing the shirt over my head.

“No Penny, he means like now. Like right now. So that we can be husbands tonight.” I say. I hear the FaceTime noise and Baz quickly picks up. Penelope looks pretty. She has some makeup done, her hair is up in a ponytail. She really went all out for Shepard. 

“What?! Are you nutters out of your mind?” She yells.

“Congrats!” Shepard says, appearing in the frame. “Can I be a best man?”

“Absolutely NOT.” Penelope shouts, shoving him away. “I’m gonna be Simon’s best man. Are you guys serious?”

I look at Baz. He’s looking right back at me. He mouths ‘I love you.’ I nod.

“We’re dead serious.” I say.

“Okay. I love you both. You both are absolutely nutty. But I love you both. You do know that city hall is closed right now? They closed at 5.”

“Bollocks. Can’t you spell it open?” Baz says.

“Even if I do that, Basilton, we’ll need an officiate. Someone who’s licensed. I can’t spell a person out from their home right now, it'll confuses them a little too much, and I’m not casting a manipulation spell on anyone right now.” Penelope says. Damn.

“I have an idea! Why not just wait until the morning, and tonight we can have a bachelor party for you both!” Shepard says, coming back in the frame, a huge smile on his face.

I'll go get a ring, let the choir bells sing like, ooh

“I’m game.” Baz says.

“Ooo. Okay now I’m suddenly 100% on board.” Penelope says.

So what ya wanna do? Let's just run, boy

“Do you want to do that? Are you okay with waiting for tomorrow?” I ask him. Baz nods.

“I’ve waited my whole life for you, I can wait one more night.”

If we wake up and you wanna break up, that's cool

“Are you gonna change your mind tomorrow morning?” I ask him.

“Absolutely not. Are you?”

“No.”

“Then we’re good.”

“But what if we wake up and we think we’re making a mistake.”

“Then we won’t get married. Simple.”

No, I won't blame you, it was fun, boy

“And we’ll still be boyfriends?”

“We’ll still be boyfriends. If we get married, we’re still boyfriends, just with a different title.”

Don't say no, no, no, no, no

Is this really happening? Baz is still beaming down at me, Penelope and Shepard are in the frame, looking at me.

Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

“Okay, let’s have our bachelor party tonight, and then get married tomorrow.”

And we'll go, go, go, go, go

If you're ready, like I'm ready

Baz

'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Is this real life? Simon Snow agreeing to marry me? I would pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming, but I don’t want to wake up from this.

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

“Sorry to ruin your date.” Simon says.

“It’s okay! Penelope was nervous anyways.” Shepard says.

“Hey!” Penelope says in defense. “Do you want to meet somewhere? What do you want to do for your bachelor party? Oh my gosh, this is so exciting.”

“Let’s go karaoke!” Shepard says.

“Absolutely not.” I say.

“Wait, I kind of like that idea.” Simon says, a little shy now. I look over at him, and for him, I’ll do anything. Even if it’s looking stupid and singing dumb songs with him.

“Okay, my fiancé wants to go karaoke, so we’re gonna go. Find a place Shepard, and send it to us. We’ll meet you there.” I hang up the phone (Fiancé has a nice ring to it. I bet husband will have an even better ring to it)

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Simon is looking at me, it’s indescribable.

“Love, are you okay?”

He comes back to reality and nods his head. He kisses my cheek gently.

“I’m always okay with you." He smiles. "Oy, do we need engagement rings or something." I shake my head.

“We just need wedding bands.” I already have an engagement ring for Snow. I bought it last year. We were at the zoo, and Snow was looking at the koala bears. He kept pointing to them like a little child and I had to keep reminding him that I see the koala bears. He was so happy that day. I didn’t even care that he made me pay extra to ride the carousel like a kid. I’ll do anything for him.

“Only wedding bands?” He raises an eyebrow. I laugh as I run to our room, open up one of my drawers and pull out the light blue box. I open it just to make sure the ring is still there.

I walk back out to him, where he has put my cardigan on (I love when he wears my clothes). I show him the light blue box and his eyes widen again.

“You’ve just been carrying an engagement ring this whole time?

Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you

“Love, I’ve wanted to marry you for so long, and I wanted to date you for even longer. Of course, I’ve been carrying an engagement ring. Only for a year though.”

“A year? That’s still so long. What the hell! Why were you holding out on me?”

“I wanted to make it special. I was waiting for the perfect moment.”

“Oy and the middle of our game night is the perfect moment, right?” He says sarcastically, but he’s smiling. I’m smiling with him.

“It felt right. Simon Snow.” I get on one knee in front of him, and even though we’re getting married tomorrow and it’s all happening so quick, I can’t help but get a little emotional. “You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re a plague I never want to get rid of, a tick I want to live with me forever, and a popcorn kernel that’s annoyingly stuck in my teeth.”

“Is this supposed to be endearing or?” He says, laughing.

“Shut up and let me finish.” I run a hand through my hair. Why am I nervous? That’s a little ironic. “You intoxicate me in the best possible way, you indulge me, you care for me, and most importantly, you actually love me. So, Simon Snow, will you marry me?” I open the ring box and he actually gasps. He bends down and eyes the ring.

“Baz! How much did you spend on that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does when I ask you to pay for your share of the groceries and you complain!”

“The majority of the groceries are for you, Snow! I think it’s fair that you pay for more of the costs.”

Just say I do

Tell me right now, baby

Tell me right now, baby, baby

“Are you gonna answer or are you gonna keep staring at the ring?”

“It’s just...it’s gorgeous.”

I know it is. I had it custom-made. I needed the best for Snow. The diamonds are in a snowflake pattern, and some of the diamonds are blue, the same blue as his eyes. I know it’s his ring size (I took the measurements when he was sleeping. Yes it’s a little creepy, but I had to make sure it was perfect.)

Just say I do

Tell me right now, baby

Tell me right now, baby, baby, oh

“Simon, will you marry me?” I repeat. Maybe he forgot the original question.

“Baz yes!” I stand up and I place the ring on his shaky finger. He holds it up in the light and laughs. “It’s perfect. It’s so...me.”

“That’s the whole point.”

He jumps into my arms. I’m taken by surprise a little bit, but I wrap my hands under his bum as he wraps his legs around my waist. He kisses me and I let him, because of course.

“We’re getting married.” He whispers to me, his head on my forehead.

“Yes. We are.”

It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?

Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you

Bonus

Simon

We arrive at the address that Shepard gave us. We enter, hand in hand and it’s not that full. Some college kids are playing pool and laughing. That’s a good thing. I already know Baz doesn’t really want to be here, that he’s doing it for me. But when I look over at him, his eyes are bright (can gray eyes be bright? His are). My wings and tail are spelled gone.

He’s running his thumb over my fingers, over that finger, stroking the diamonds carefully. I still can’t believe he spent that much money on me. I argued with him in the car about it. (“Love, I’ll spend all my money on you.” “No Baz! That’s literally the opposite of what I want you to do.” He laughed. “I’ll still do it.”)

“There they are.” He points to a corner where Shepard and Penelope are sitting, sipping some drinks (I wonder if it’s good. I could probably make it better)

Penelope and Shepard catch us as we’re walking to them and Shepard stands up and cheers.

“Let’s give it up for the fiancés!” He screams at the top of his lungs. Penelope is giving him a death stare but Baz just laughs it off. This is such a different side to him. He’s so giddy. It’s a little scary.

“Isn’t it customary for Americans to provide free drinks to a couple who’s just been engaged?” Baz says, looking over to the bar.

“Maybe. It works if you have an engagement ring to show off.” Shepard says.

“Well...” I show my hand with the ring and Penelope gasps, grabbing my hand and sticking my finger so close to her eye I’m surprised I didn’t poke it.

“Basilton! Where were you hiding this? How much was this? Also, can I borrow a nice loan of $5,000?” She says.

“Nice try Bunce. It wasn’t that expensive.”

“Yet, he refuses to tell me the price.” I mutter. He kisses the top of my head.

“Money’s temporary. Love is forever.” I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop grinning.

“Let’s go get drinks!” Penelope intertwines her fingers with mine and walks us over to the bar. She slams her hand on the bar table and a bartender comes over to us, already looking over it. “Excuse me, kind woman, my friend here just got engaged and we would like some drinks!” Penelope is looking at me, and it’s then I realize she wants me to show the ring off. I sigh and place my hand on the table. The bartender gasps.

“Holy shit, that’s gorgeous. That snowflake design is incredible.”

“It’s cause my last name is Snow. And my boy- I mean, fiancé, says that I’m one of a kind like every snowflake.” I say, feeling my cheeks get hot.

“That is genuinely so sweet. I’ll give your party some free drinks for the first round.”

“Oy, what are you gonna make us? You know the bachelor here is actually a bartender?” Penelope says and I glare at her.

“Oh really? Which bar do you tend?”

“She’s kidding.” I glare at her. “I just take mixology classes.”

“And he makes killer drinks.” Penelope says. Hearing her talk like an American is throwing me off, but she doesn’t seem to care.

“Does he now? Well, since he just got engaged, I’ll let him make his own drink. Why not? Consider it my engagement gift to you.” I smile shyly at her.

“I couldn’t really.” I say.

“No seriously, it’s okay. The only other customers here are college students and they just want a beer or straight tequila. They’re easy to serve. I wanna see what you can come up with.” She opens the little swing door and I hesitantly go behind the bar. 

“Um, can I get five glasses? For my fiancé, my best man, and my best woman’s boyfriend? And then for you, to try. And then for me, cause...” I’m rambling. She laughs and grabs five glasses from a shelf.

“Go wild. Pour whatever you want into this shaker and just go!”

“Thanks.” I look at the array of alcohol and syrups and liquor in front of me. I start grabbing things that I think will go well together, and I’m feeling inspired by my ring.

After a couple of minutes, Baz and Shepard wander over to us.

“Shepard was explaining what we have to do tomorrow. Basically, we can go to city hall, and then we can obtain a marriage license, which allows us to get married.” Married. To Baz. I’m so excited. “Then, they can either officiate us there, or we can get someone who’s ordained and we can go wherever we may like.”

“Do we know someone who’s ordained?” I say, still pouring liquids into the shaker.

“Yeah, you do! Me!” Shepard grins. “I have been since I was 18, I did it as a dare. But I just kept retaking the authorization every year cause I thought it would be pretty cool to keep being ordained.” Penelope scoffs, but I see her smiling. 

“Would you be okay to that do that?” I start to shake the shaker, but then I open it back up and add a couple more things.

“Of course! Anything for you guys.”

“So you’re the fiancé?” The bartender says to Baz. 

“And I’m assuming you’re the lady who allowed my fiancé to go behind the bar and make these drinks, or I’m gonna have to give you a very large tip for him just hopping over the bar.” She laughs and she holds out her hand.

“Amy.”

“Baz.”

“You guys each have three letters.” I say, shaking the shaker. I added everything I wanted, now I’m just having fun shaking it up.

“That ring is absolutely gorgeous. You must be part of a mafia or something to afford something like that.” Baz laughs at Amy’s comment.

“No. I just come from wealth. And for my love? I’ll give him anything.” Amy and Shepard aww’s while Penelope rolls her eyes.

“I’m tired of your flirting.” Penelope says.

“Penny, you’re literally my best man.” I say. I pour out the drinks into the five cups. It’s a light brown color, but the top ends up being white, which is what I wanted. 

“Um, do you have peppermint? Or candy canes? Or anything minty?” I ask Amy. She nods. She pulls some peppermints from a bowl.

“Um...do you have something I can break these with?” Baz laughs and grabs an empty glass, and uses the bottom to break the peppermints. He slides it over me and I smile at him. I pour some inside the drink, and then on the rim of the glass. “Okay. Can you try it?” I slide it to everyone and I wait anxiously as they all take a sip. 

“Oh shit, this is delicious.” Shepard says, taking another sip.

“Do you really think so?” I say.

“Simon this is amazing. It’s like a boozy, minty hot chocolate! I can even taste some marshmallows.” Penelope says.

“That’s the marshmallow liquor I found...” I look over at Amy who’s already downed half the glass. 

“Sorry, I had a long night, but this is genuinely delicious. A hot chocolate alcohol drink. That’s a new one. You need a job?” I laugh as I take a sip of my drink. It is actually really good. I was afraid I poured too much chocolate syrup. “I’m not kidding.”

“You bloody better not be. I’ve been trying to get him to expose his talents to a bar, but he’s always so reluctant. Love, this is so good, and I don’t even like hot chocolate.” Baz says, licking the rim of the glass. (I blush, cause that tongue of his licking the rim of the glass is reminding me of something awfully familiar). I look back at Penelope and Amy, and they both finished their glasses.

“This is dangerous. I bet there’s a bunch of alcohol in this, but I can barely taste it.” Penelope says, sucking down her straw.

“Okay, are we gonna sing or what?” Baz says, standing up from his seat, my concoction is in hand.

You wanna sing?” I say to him.

“Yes. I can have fun, Snow. C’mon. I have the greatest song for us.” He holds his hand out to me and I happily accept it. We bounce to the stage, where Baz inputs a song on the laptop. I hear the tune and I start to laugh.

“Really? This song?”

“It’s perfect.” Baz puts his drink down and turns to me.

It’s a beautiful night. We’re looking for something dumb to do.” Baz’s voice is beautiful Merlín. I only hear him singing in the shower, but there’s water running when he’s singing, so it’s muffled.

“Hey baby. I think I wanna marry you.” I sing the next line. I hear Penelope cheer from the bar, and Shepard is clapping.

Is it the look in your eyes?”

“Oh or is this dancing juice?”

“Who cares baby?” 

We both sing the next line “I think I wanna marry you.”

Cause it’s true.