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Crash My Car

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“You’re gonna teach me how to what?” I say. I can’t believe what he’s telling me. After fucking me like that and now he’s telling me he wants me to get behind a wheel. He’s still lying on top of me, and I’ve been stroking his hair and back gently. But after exposing that statement, my hands still.

Drive Snow. Merlin, you can fight a dragon but can’t drive a car. It’s time we change that.”


“Simon, c’mon. I like driving with you to McDonald’s at night, I do, but I’m always so sleepy when I’m driving I’m afraid that I’m gonna fall asleep.”

“Then spell the car to keep driving!”

“Snow, no. That’s unnecessary when I know how to drive.”

“Then cast a spell on me.” I really don’t want to drive. It’s terrifying. Cars are coming at you from all directions, you have to pay attention to when there’s a stop sign or a red light and don’t even get me started on the highway. That shite is ridiculous here. Cars are whizzing past us at a ridiculous rate, I don’t know how Baz manages it.

“Love, stop thinking so hard. You’re gonna have frown lines.” Baz brings his hand up to my forehead, rubbing the wrinkles away (he’s always so gentle with me unless I ask him otherwise.) ((I crave his touch. I always do.)) I lean into his hand and I sigh.

“Baz, I’m scared of other cars. I scared of other people.”

“We’ll start small. We’ll go to a parking lot or a suburban street where rarely any cars travel. I’m not gonna put you on the highway right away.”

That’s a relief. Although, I don’t know why I thought he would’ve.

“But my wings. My tail-“

“We have a spell for that Snow. You know that.”


“Love, if you really don’t want to, we won’t. I’ll never push you out of your comfort zone too much.”

(I like when he pushes me out of my comfort zone though. He’s gotten me to explore and try so many new things. I didn’t think I would like bubble tea cause those tapioca balls scared me but he kept kindly asking me to try it and now I’m obsessed with it. He never forces. He just asks a lot, but always lets me know that he’ll stop if I really want him to stop. He’s sweet like that.)

“Okay. In a parking lot.”

“Really?” He’s smiling. I see all his teeth. His beautiful mouth. I plant a kiss on his teeth. It’s weird, I’m weird. He doesn’t mind. (“We’re both weird, Snow. I’m a vampire and you have wings and a tail. Nothing about us is normal.” He said to me before. I kissed him like the world was ending after he said it to me).

“Yes. Now get out of me. You forgot to cast a cleaning spell and I’m sticky.”

“I like when you’re sticky.”

“You’re so gay.” He kisses me and I forget that I was just making fun of him. (I’m gay too. Or bi. Or pans. Baz doesn’t care that I don’t label myself. He just cares that I’m with him and dating him. Which I am. I always will be. Unless I’m married to him. Then I’ll be married to him.)

“Okay, let’s go. Let’s shower.”


After a very intimate shower (I mean intimate. Baz on his knees in front of me is a sight I want to be burned into my brain forever) ((his head thrown back against the shower wall while I take him in my hand is also something I want burned into my brain forever)) we get dressed and we get into Baz’s car. For a bloody rich bloke like him, I thought he would’ve had an expensive ass car, but he has a Jeep wrangler. It’s grey, just like his beautiful eyes.

We (he) drives to an outside shopping plaza. Before parking in a parking spot, he goes to Starbucks and gets himself a drink. He always gets something new. He loves his pumpkin drink that tastes like pure sugar, but lately, he’s been getting new things and making me try the drinks he gets, he parks into a parking spot far away from the other cars surrounding the lot.

“Okay. Up and out.” He says, already opening his driver's door, and pops out of the car. I open up the passenger door and get out of the car. We meet in the middle of the front of the car, where he slowly grazes my arm, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. It’s easy for him to do since he’s taller than me. (I hate it. But I love it. Being enveloped in his arms.)

It’s a hot day out tonight. It’s summer, there’s a small breeze. Baz is in jeans (he rarely wear shorts) ((he claims that he can wear them and the sun won’t hurt him, but he never does)) (((I like his legs. I wish he would show it off more))) but they’re ripped. He has a short sleeve tropical shirt, buttoned up, but the two top ones are left unbuttoned, so I can see a little of his chest. His hair has only gotten longer, starting to get a little wavy even. I just have a simple white t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts on. (He adores my style. Or lack of.) He sips his drink. I can smell the coffee from his lips.

He hops into the passenger seat and I sit in the driver's seat.

“Okay love, you might need to adjust the chair a little bit. There are these buttons on the left. The one in the front pushes the seat forward or back. And then the one behind it adjusts the back of the seat.” I fiddle with the buttons until I’m well adjusted. “Okay, the pedal in the middle is the brake. The one to the right of that is the acceleration. You can press on the brake just so you know how it feels.” I do. Gently. With my left leg. He laughs.

“Okay, so you actually don’t use your left leg to drive.”

“What? Then how do I press on the brake?”

“With your right leg.”

“But it’s on the accelerator!”

“It’s doesn’t stay on the accelerator the entire time Snow.”

“So why can’t I just have one on the brake and one on the accelerator?”

“It’s unsafe love.”

“Okay. If you say so.” I mutter. “How do I start the car?”

“With the keys. You turn it inwards. If that makes sense. You have to be pressing the brake when you do it.” It does make sense. I do what he says and the car purrs underneath me. “Good job love.” I smile. “Oh, I almost forgot. You might need to adjust the mirrors to see your blind spots.”

“Okay.” I do what he says and he’s looking at the mirrors when I move them. “You’re so short, you need to move it so much.”

“Shut up. You are not gonna make fun of me while I’m learning how to drive. What do I do with my hands?”

“Okay, put them on the wheel. Typically, they should be right across from each other. If you imagine a clock, it should be at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock.”

“You drive with one hand though?”

“I’ve been driving way longer than you have, Snow. I’m an expert.” I snort.

“Okay, so, you see the gear stick next to you? The letters are important.”

“Well obviously.”


“Okay okay. D for drive, r for reverse, p for park, what are the other letters?”

“To be completely honest, I haven’t a clue.” I laugh. He laughs too. (His laugh is infectious, and I know this because he laughs more and more around me).

“So put it on D. And then step off the brake slowly. The car will move a little by herself.”


“She’s a girl. Is there a problem with that?”

“No. I just didn’t think you would gender your car.”

“Well, I did.”

“Don’t be such a bugger.”

“I’m just answering your questions love.”

“Fine fine. Does she have a name?”

“She doesn’t. Do you wanna give her one?”

“Sure. How about Lucy?”

“Why Lucy?”

“I don’t know. Feels right.”

“Okay. Lucy. Now do what I told you.” I slowly take off my foot from the brake as the move the gear stick to D and the car does what Baz said it’ll do. It moves on its own. “You can press on the accelerator a little and just move forward a little bit. You have plenty of space.” I do that, pressing down but not too much, and the car moves forward. I continue to move forward until I hear something crunch underneath the car.

“What was that?!”

“It was probably just a water bottle. Don’t stress. You might want to turn the wheel at some point. You’re gonna hit the curb.”

“What?” I say, turning to look at him.

“Keep your eyes on the road Snow!”

“Oh shit-“ it’s too late. I hit the curb. I look at Baz, worried he’s gonna get upset with me, but he just reaches over, puts the car in park, and hops out of the car. I’m afraid to move.

“Love, you can come out. I’m not mad.” He says, loud enough so I can hear through the opened door.

“I just crashed your car!” I say, refusing to get out.

“Darling, it was the curb. The tires hit the curb. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It could’ve been a bigger deal.” I jump out of the car. He’s squatting towards the front of the car. “What if I had hit something bigger?”

“You didn’t Si. It’s okay. Cars sometimes hit the curb when they’re parking.” He stands up and runs his hands through his face. He’s stressed. I can tell.

“Are the tires ruined?”

“Most likely.” He looks at me, then breaks into a grin. “I’m pulling your strings, Simon. It’s okay.”

“This is all your fault!” I shout out him, frustrated.

Mine? Why didn’t you learn to drive at a normal age like the rest of us?” He moves closer to me and is staring down at me, his arms crossed.

“In case you forgot, Basilton, I spent my summers in group homes and my school years trying to make sure you weren’t going to kill me.” I pull out his full name. (Well not really his fully full name. I never actually say his entire full name. I’m never that mad at him that I need to. I’m just being petty right now). I throw my hands up in frustration.

“You bloody well could’ve asked Bunce.” He growls at me and I roll my eyes.

“Yes, cause driving was the thing I was most worried about at Watford! With the other shite, I was dealing with.”

“Oh Snow, when are you gonna understand I was never trying to kill you?”

“I know that now but back then I didn’t!”

“Simon. We’re yelling.”

“Are we now?” I yell. I don’t know why I’m so mad. He just wanted to help me. He winces at me and I put my arms down and I step closer to him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.” I rest my head on his shoulders and he instantly wraps his arms around me, stroking my hair.

“I didn’t either love. We were both being wankers. I’m sorry as well.” He plants a kiss on the top of my head. “We don’t have to teach you how to drive if you really don’t want to.”

“No no. I want to.” I take my head off his shoulder. “Even if I crash your car, I want to learn. I’ll pay for the damages.” He laughs.

“I’ll spell it fixed. But I would spend all my money on you if that’s what you need to learn how to drive.” He kisses my forehead, catching my cheeks in between his hands. He kisses my face 11 more times after that (he likes kissing my face 12 times. It’s a thing for him. I don’t understand why. But I don’t care. He can kiss me how many times he wants.)

“Can we try again?” I mumble against his lips because that's where he decided to plant the 12th kiss.

“Of course. Anything for you.”


We practice all day, and it’s still a little difficult. I need to work on my breaking (“Merlin Snow, you’re supposed to press it slowly, not stomp on it”) and my turns are too wide (“I bloody swear I’m gonna get whiplash”) but overall, it’s a good first lesson.

“I’ll drive us home.” He said to me.

“Can we know-“

“Okay, we’ll get McDonald’s. You really need to stop eating that garbage all the time. You’re eating a salad tomorrow.”

So we’re inside the car, parked outside of our house finishing up the McDonald’s. I look over at Baz when he eats, his fangs popping out. He’s not self-conscious about them around me anymore, which makes me happy (everything about him makes me happy).

“You’re saring.” He says, still attacking his fries. His lisp is still there with his fangs. It’s adorable.

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re annoying.” I grab his face and turn him to face me.

“You love me.” I grin. He rolls his eyes. His fangs are gone.


“Baz, please. You’re the one who found me a fit bloke since forever.”

“Don’t remind me about your unreceptive and unreciprocated love till you kiss me in a burning forest.”

“You caused the fire!”

“You put it out by kissing me!”

“You’re welcome. I didn’t want you to burn yourself.”

“Every time I'm with you Simon, it’s like my body is on fire. So light me up, Simon. I want to be burned by you.”

I kiss him, I kiss him until it hurts (it never hurts.) He casts a quick clean-up spell and our food is gone. Before I know it, he adjusts his seat so it’s all the way back and he’s grabbing me and picking me up, sitting me on top of him. We continue to kiss as I slowly unbutton his shirt, feeling his chest. He’s so cold. (He’s always cold. I always warm him up). My back is hitting the steering wheel, and even though they’re spelled gone right now, I somehow can feel the pressure of the steering wheel on my wings. I rub his stomach and he moans (he always does when I rub his stomach. I don’t know why, but I’ll never stop.)

We’re so close together. Being in this cramped car is adding to the intensity of everything. I can feel everything from him, and I mean everything. I know he’s hard. I am too.

“What do you want love? How do you want release?”

I don’t know how to answer. We’ve never had car sex before. I don’t know if it’s gonna be uncomfortable. What if someone sees us. I mean, the street lamps are pretty dim and it’s pretty late outside. 

“Si, stop thinking and answer.”

“Inside. I want you inside me.” He quirks up his eyebrow and I slap his chest. “Shut up.”

“I wasn’t expecting that. Thought you would’ve accepted my hand.”

“Shut up. And I’m pretty loose from this morning, remember.” His eyes darken a little and he’s pulling down my shorts. I unbutton his jeans, pulling the zipper down. With me still on top of him, he lifts his hips up a little to remove them down to his knee, along with his boxers. I hit my head on the car roof.

“Fuck!” I say, clutching my head.

“Are you okay?” He takes my face into his hands and I nod (I’m always okay with him). “Are you sure?”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t even hurt anymore. Can you please get on with the fucking now?”

“You’re so impatient.” He casts slippery when wet right on his cock.

“No prep?”

“You don’t need it after this morning, remember?” He whispers into my ear and I shiver cause Fuck he’s so good at dirty talk it drives me wild.

“What if someone sees us?” I say and then I immediately gasp because, with no warning, Baz enters me. I don’t even remember him lifting my waist up and lining up his cock with my arse. 

“Who cares if someone sees us? They’ll get a show.” I want to say something but Baz is fucking into my arsehole so fucking good right now it feels like I’ve won the lottery again and again and 

“Fuck Baz! Fuck fuck fuck.” I’m always spewing nonsense when we have sex cause I just genuinely don’t know what to say. “You feel so good. Your long cock is ahhhh.” I throw my head back cause he’s biting my neck. I feel his fangs but he would never truly bite me with those out. He just grazes my skin, nipping at it harshly that I clench my teeth but I still moan. My hands are around his neck, touching the back of his hair and we’re sweating and it’s getting hot and the windows are fogging up and Baz is nibbling my neck and thrusting into me so good right now. One of my hands touches the window for some more support as I try to meet each of his thrusts, but he’s relentless (I love it.)

“Mmmm I’m close Baz. I’m close please.” I want to come untouched again. It’s such a feeling. He pulls away from my neck and looks me right in the eyes. His hair is falling in front of his face and he looks so fucking attractive right now. “Baz, faster.” I moan when he does go faster cause oh my Merlin he knows exactly what to do with my body and it drives me wild (he drives me wild. Absolutely bloody insane).

Baz.” I moan out as I’m cum. I’m a mess. It shoots all over the place. 

“Simon, urgh.” He cums right after me, right into me, like he always does if he’s fucking me. (At first, he didn’t want to, didn’t want to scare me I think. But I told him it’s fine, that I wanted him to fill me up, I want all of him.) ((it always feels so good, I don’t know how to explain the sensation but it just feels so good knowing that we can make each other cum)). 

I rest my forehead against him and he laughs.

“Can check off car sex from my fantasy of where I want to have sex with you.” He says, breathless, running his hands over my shoulders.

“You’ve wanted to do this?”

“It’s like every teenager's dream.”

“We aren’t teenagers anymore.”

“Don’t remind me. But yes. I’ve wanted to do this.”

“Mmm, where else?”

“Oh you know, secluded beach, empty movie theater, maybe a dressing booth-“

“Tyrannus Basilton Grim Pitch The Third, is this some sort of kink you have to do it in public places.”

“No, but it adds to the fun.” He gives me a playful kiss. “Let’s clean up.”

After some magic, we both bounce inside the house and take a shower. It’s intimate (but in a nice way. We just wash each other's hair and Baz is gentle with my wings and tail, making sure they’re properly cleaned.)

We’re cuddling in bed. Me, the big spoon (he doesn’t put up a fight), stroking his hair. He’s facing me, stroking my back and my wings, so gently.” 

“Thanks for trusting me today. To teach you how to drive.” He whispers.

“Of course. I’ll always trust you.” (Forever and ever). “Thanks for trusting me with your car. You were really excited to get it and I almost killed her.”

“It’s okay Si. It’s just a car. If you crash it, I’ll just buy a new one.” I look down at him. There’s enough light in the room that I can still see his face. I kiss him just to make sure he’s real. (He is, which is a little scary. He’s real and he’s all mine).

“Lot of money you’re wasting on me.”

“For you, my love? Anything and everything.”