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It had been two weeks since their second time together, over the table in the cabinet room where anybody could’ve walked in at any moment, and while he would’ve liked to say that they’d both taken a step back and sensibly assessed the situation since then... Well, they most certainly had not. Instead their second coupling seemed to have triggered something even more profound in them than the first, and now they were drawn to each other on a near constant basis. This would’ve been bad enough, considering that neither of them had resigned their positions in the intervening time, but the fact that they hadn’t yet made it to an appropriate location made matters borderline disastrous.

On that particular day they had taken to kissing frantically in between meetings. A person would come in and have an appropriate chat with Hacker, the moment that person walked out they would be on each other like wild animals… And then, five minutes later when Bernard knocked to announce the next appointment, they would be across the room from each other and looking perfectly appropriate again. It was dizzying, to say the least.

It was almost the end of the scheduled day now, and even a few weeks ago he would’ve said that’d be enough to quench any man’s ardour. Not them, though. Six thirty in the evening, and Hacker was still intent on pressing him up against the office door and feeding his tongue to him with a focus that would’ve been truly impressive if applied to any actual piece of work handed to him on that day.

“It’s ten minutes until your next meeting, minister-” he attempted to say, in between frantic kisses. It was best to keep some veneer of respectability, after all, even if privately he had to admit that he was gagging for it just as much as his Prime Minister was.

“I know, I know,” Hacker murmured frantically, also in between kisses, and ignored any kind of sense at all in favour of worming one of his hands between their bodies with a certain kind of purpose that he was already used to. “But tell me honestly, Humphrey, do you really want me to stop?”

“No,” he admitted reluctantly, annoyed as ever at how well Hacker was able to read him these days. And then he gave a frantic gasp as Hacker managed to fumble his trousers open, immediately plunged his hand in without any thought towards decorum or dignity. “No.”

Hacker smiled smugly, still mostly against his lips, but it was rather harder than he’d like to hold that against a man who had his hand wrapped around his cock. The only option, or at least the only option he was willing to indulge in, was to submit to the man’s attentions; to lean his head back against the door, and breath through his nose as Hacker’s palm passed over him again and again.

This lasted for perhaps a minute, maybe a little longer because he was admittedly a little bad at keeping track of time in his current dazed state, but Hacker had never been the most selfless person no matter how hard he tried to pretend. Before long he gave a muffled growl against his lips, and reached down to fumble at his own belt. Yet again he didn’t resist as Hacker got himself out of his trousers, and then proceeded to tug him all the way loose too. He only watched through lidded eyes, as Hacker lined up their cocks together and started to work his hand over the both of them.

When he’d done this before, with the odd other partner who gave lip service about how they wanted him to find pleasure too, it had always been more awkward than absorbing; too dry, too tight and usually involving a quite unpleasant kind of friction. With Hacker, as ever, it was more pleasurable than he’d ever dreamed. Hacker spat in his palm just before he closed it around the both of them, so it wasn’t dry at all. Hacker had already somehow learned what kind of grip he preferred, so it wasn’t really tight either. Hacker produced a little more precome than him, so there wasn’t any friction besides the pleasurable kind. He found himself annoyed, even as he gasped at the unfortunate pleasure of it; a man such as Hacker really had no right to be so good at sex, especially when he was having sex with him.

He was so distracted by the warring pressures of arousal and annoyance, by the way that the entire world seemed to narrow down to just the two of them when they were together, that he almost didn’t notice when there was an apologetic rap against the other side of the door. “Prime Minister?”

Luckily neither of them were far gone enough to be that unwise, even if it was by the barest amount these days. They both froze at the sound of Bernard’s voice, which luckily didn’t sound particularly scandalised, and stared at each other in an attitude of increasing panic. It took another knock sounding for him to remember himself, and frantically nudge Hacker to come up with some kind of response.

“Ah,” Hacker said, in a thankfully halfway respectable tone, and glared down at him when he nudged him again. “Yes, Bernard?”

“You’ve been alone in there with Sir Humphrey for quite a while now,” Bernard said tentatively, and he closed his eyes and cursed at the man’s perceptiveness. He seemed like such an oblivious and easy person, wonderfully able to be moulded, right up until the point where it would’ve been an active asset for him to be so. “Is everything alright?”

Hacker sent him another mildly panicked look, one that he answered with a glare, and frantically cleared his throat once more. “Everything…”

“Everything is absolutely fine, Bernard,” he took over, with a roll of his eyes so obvious that even Hacker had to pick up on it immediately. He may be standing with his cock in the Prime Minister’s hand, in the Prime Minister’s office, but given a bit of time he was sure he could manipulate this situation out of dangerous waters. “I and the Prime Minister are just discussing a thorny matter of policy.”

“Oh dear,” Bernard said, which was probably an understandable reaction considering how their actual discussions of thorny policy had gone. “Should I come in?”

They both, admittedly somewhat foolishly, glanced down between their bodies. To where Hacker’s hand was still wrapped around both of their naked cocks, their trousers pulled down and their shirts rucked up so they could get flesh to flesh. Given the lewd obscenity of that sight, the answer was obvious.


“Uh…” Bernard said uncertainly, obviously completely unused to them speaking in unison. Which was, again, understandable considering how naturally opposed they generally were.

“It is a very sensitive matter, Bernard,” he took over yet again, as Hacker’s face was starting to go a rather worrying shade of red at this vital maneuvering. “One of national importance, as a matter of fact.”

Bernard considered this for a second, as Hacker visibly held his breath and he tried - with quite some effort - not to do the same. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, Bernard!” Hacker burst out, with enough force that he half worried the man had ruptured a lung in his desperation to seem like he wasn’t fucking a civil servant in his government office. “I shall be ready for my next meeting in ten-”

“Five,” he said sotto voice, after a quick and admittedly rather worried check of his watch.

Five minutes, Bernard, so I really wouldn’t worry about it,” Hacker corrected himself, with quite remarkable and entirely unexpected aplomb. He hated to admit it, he really and passionately did, but he was almost impressed by how quickly the man managed to gather himself. “Just get everything set up, as I’m sure you’re planning to anyway, and I promise you that things will go smoothly.”

“Well,” Bernard said. Sounding admittedly somewhat dubious, but also unexpectedly reassured. “If you’re sure…”

“I swear to you on the future of the civil service itself, Bernard, we are not currently murdering each other in this room,” he said through gritted teeth, figuring that he might as well do his part, and stubbornly refused to have any thoughts at all on the way that Hacker bit his lip at that bit of quick thinking. “Now go away.”

Bernard had grown a great deal more disobedient lately, yet another area in which Hacker had had an adverse effect, but luckily he still just about understood the importance of keeping on the good side of his boss. He gave a brief splutter of apology, and then scurried off with all due speed.

He sagged in relief, the adrenaline leaving him so suddenly that he even allowed Hacker to lean forward and bury his head in his shoulder. He was so tired, so undone by the sudden interruption, that it took him a long few moments to realize that Hacker was laughing.

“Prime Minister,” he said sharply, and attempted to sound disapproving. A hard task, given that Hacker’s cock was still against his, but he felt a somewhat necessary one. “Really-”

“Oh, come off it, Humphrey!” Hacker cried, as loudly as he dared, and looked up at him with a downright mischievous smile. The man did have a nice smile, even if he had a rather dubious everything else. He found himself staring at it in a rather dazed way for a long few moments, before he firmly managed to shake himself back to reality. “You have to admit that it was a bit funny.”

“Yes, it would’ve been hilarious if the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom had been found in flagrante delicto with the head of his civil service,” he said, very dryly. Despite himself he found that he was charmed by the mischief sparking in Hacker’s gaze, by the pure relief that beamed from his smile. “It seems like you’re more of a risk taker than I gave you credit for.”

“Strange how that almost sounds like a compliment, Humphrey,” Hacker said playfully, his hand still wrapped around his dick and his lips still stretched in a smile. He had genuinely, honestly, never really found the man handsome before that moment; but right then, as he smiled at him with a laugh in his eyes…

“You’re hearing things, I assure you,” he informed him, and blinked to clear his mind. There was no point in getting matters mixed up, or at least any more mixed up then they were already. “Now…”

“Yes, yes. Four minutes left, I did hear you. Honestly, Humphrey, it’s hardly a surprise that you’re a slavedriver even when it comes to this,” Hacker grumbled, albeit still smiling, and set to pleasing them both again with a surprisingly firm and steady hand.