Chapter Text
“They must have had some extravagant dresses in Paris?” Harriett asked Anne, the skirmish seemed forgotten on her part, and she was more than excited to discuss fashion.
“Oh, Ann, you should show her the exquisite spencer you had made in Paris!” Catherine cooed, she too was thrilled with the subject and Anne glanced at Marian for a second, as if she would have any good answers at hand to Miss Parkhill’s question.
“I, they, um… The style varies a great deal in such an animated town, they cherish singularity in some sense.” Anne replied her, she wasn’t entirely without a sense for fashion but had no interest in following the latest trends for the ordinary women – and thus had to keep her answer rather vague. Careful to not make her wife appear ignorant on the subject. She wanted her friends to perceive her the way she always was.
“Really? Well, I can see why your Miss Lister enjoys going there, that and other wo… things.” Harriett retorted and Anne was stunned, she thought Miss Parkhill had left that unfriendliness with the last subject but apparently, this resentment wore deeper than she had thought earlier, and perhaps Mrs Priestley had kindly updated her with fresh gossip.
“I do not know where you have heard such utter nonsense, but I can assure you that it isn’t true!” Anne put her foot down, though not literally, she merely scowled at Miss Parkhill – she had no business coming to tea if her sole reason was to try to poison Ann against her again.
“Well, she is very odd, and I heard it from a reliable source. Apparently, she is not very nice, and she is manipulating you.” Harriett huffed rudely, crossing her arms and Marian’s mouth fell open, she couldn’t quite believe the interaction that was happening, she knew people had opinions and that they weren’t always pleasant when it came to her sister, but to have someone sit and openly share them whilst a guest in her house? – Anne was equally shocked, she had thought she might put up a bit of a challenge, a bit of a mood, but this?
“I want you to leave. Anne is the nicest…”
“Anne!”
Anne startled when she heard her name, her sentence left hanging in the air as they all turned to the doorway where Ann stumbled in, red faced with a letter in a tight grip in her hand.
“What are you doing?!” Marian questioned, this was not the best time for ‘Anne’ to be in one of her moods, not when they were trying to defend her good name to Miss Harriett Parkhill, who no doubt would spread the word to the rest of the tribe and consequently to the rest of West Yorkshire.
“I need to talk to Anne, now!”
Ann’s eyes didn’t leave her wife’s face, she didn’t even acknowledge the other people in the room, and Anne didn’t know what to feel – why was Ann so angry? Or upset with her? What was in the letter? – Had something gone wrong with the business? - Anne couldn’t sense her out and it unnerved her.
“I…” Anne began, glancing at Marian who rolled her eyes at Ann,
“I’ll deal with them.” She mumbled to her, and Anne stood up and with a last quick look thrown at Catherine and Harriett, she followed her wife up to her study to figure out what had gone wrong in the short while they had been apart that morning. Hopefully it was solvable, but Anne’s heart ached with anxiety as she trod after her up the stairs and that old fear of losing her re-surfaced in her mind.
The door closed behind her, and for a second, she stood facing it, a bit wary to turn around and be confronted with her wife. But she reprimanded herself in her mind, ‘you are not frightened of anything’ – only she was, obviously but she managed to convince herself she wasn’t and turned around, prepared to fight against whatever it was that had made Ann react this way.
“What’s happened?” Anne wondered before Ann could begin any shouting, and she noticed tears brimming in her eyes, again wondering at what could possibly be this bad?
“Here, read this!” Ann pressed the letter into her hands, turning to stare out of the window to recompose herself whilst Anne read the vicious note. The silence that engulfed them was anything but comfortable to either of them – and again, at the same time as Ann’s heart throbbed with hurt because Anne kept these things and herself from her – her heart also ached because she had placed in her hand another one, another hurtful commentary on her oddity and nature – their nature. It wasn’t fair. They were good people; they didn’t hurt anyone else with their love for one another – and yet it was perceived as wicked – queer - repugnant and for a brief moment Ann felt utter hatred for all of them.
“Why did you open it?” Anne murmured when she had read its contents, and Ann turned as she heard her voice, frowning,
“What?”
“It’s got my name on it.” Anne clarified and Ann crossed her arms, triggered by her words – knowing she wouldn’t have shared the letter’s contents with her if she had been given it herself first.
“Because I got given it in town, and thought it was a joke from this boy who needed… It’s about the both of us, Anne!”
“It wasn’t meant for your eyes.” Anne argued, and Ann shook her head angrily, gesturing widely with her hands,
“What do you mean it wasn’t meant for my eyes?! You can’t keep these things from me! Nor protect me from them. I am your wife! Not your f…ucking child.”
Anne was taken aback by her objection and shut her mouth to reconsider what she’d said.
“I know that! But why should I burden you with these ridiculous notes when it just upsets you, hm!?” Anne reasoned but to no avail, Ann didn’t back down,
“Because I am your wife! You… we are supposed to share a life together, ‘for better or for worse’ – what kind of a marriage will we have, if you never open up to me, Anne?!”
That statement went through Anne like a dagger, and the room started spinning, was this it? Would this one note crumble everything, she had worked so hard for, into pieces? – Was Ann going to leave her to rot away alone because she had tried to protect her and shield her from the callousness of the world.
“Is this it then? You’re leaving me?” Anne asked her, her voice strained with emotion, biting into her lip to contain any embarrassing sobs. Ann eyed her befuddled, wondering why on earth Anne was interpreting her thus, when she had sworn to love and cherish her until death do them part. What she was asking of her wasn’t unreasonable, right?
“What? Anne, no! Listen to me, I just want you to feel as though you can tell me everything and to know that you will share your burdens with me – I want to be your wife in everything that that means. And right now, I feel as though you are not letting me in.”
“What if you do though?” Anne whispered, a stray tear falling from her eyes, and Ann’s eyebrows furrowed as she observed her – heart aching for the woman in-front of her.
“I don’t understand, what if I do what?”
“Leave me.” Anne barely managed to press the words out of her thick throat, looking stricken, letting her eyes fall to the floor defeated. Ann moved forwards, her anger gone with the wind, replaced with deep sympathy for her wife. She nestled her hand at the base of her neck, putting the other hand to her cheek, forcing her to meet her eyes,
“I am never leaving you. I love you, Anne, I am in love with you, I always have been. And nothing will ever change the way I feel about you!”
Anne gazed into her own eyes, a feeling of wretchedness came over her as she longed to find the comfort in her wife that had been ripped from them in their switch – and she couldn’t stop the tears that flooded from her eyes, and Ann held her to her softly, kissing her over the hair, trying to provide whatever comfort she could give her currently.
Anne had shielded her heart from her but only because she was so frightened of losing her – she wasn’t that strong. But she realised now that it was wrong and that if theirs should be a healthy stout happy marriage, she needed to put her heart out on the line. After all, the price paid for love was great, but Anne decided, standing in her wife’s warm embrace, that it was worth it. It was worth risking her heart for love as good as hers.
“I’m sorry.” Anne whispered and Ann stood back to gaze at her, her eyes red from crying too,
“No, I shouldn’t pressure you into sharing those parts of you that you aren’t ready to share with me yet.”
“No, you were right, are right Adney – And I shall endeavour to share everything with you. But I might need reminding, I have been fending for myself for so long, always prepared for people to turn against me at the spur of a moment.” Anne told her sincerely, and Ann smiled softly, reaching out to push a few hairs behind her ear, running her fingers from there down her neck,
“Until me.”
“Until you.” Anne agreed, a smile making its way onto her face, spreading from ear to ear, lightening up the whole room again, all ill feelings from before blown away. Ann leaned forwards and kissed her cheekily and Anne responded in kind.
“Seriously though.” Ann began and Anne eyed her apprehensively, wondering what might put an end to their good mood now.
“What are we going to do about the letter? – If someone knows, what might happen?” Ann continued, sounding a bit anxious and Anne shrugged a shoulder, standing near her again,
“Nothing. Well, we will burn the letter, and I will write a formal complaint to the newspaper – ask them to revoke it and then apologise for the announcement. You could help me if you like?”
“Of course. But are you sure there is nothing else we should do? What if they do expose us?” Ann pressed but Anne didn’t seem the least bit worried with that, and eager to put her mind at rest, she shared that the occurrences of such letters had happened in the past,
“They won’t. I have had these letters from time to time, ever since I moved here. But they are just meant to frighten me… us, but they couldn’t do any real harm. The authors behind them are just having a laugh at our expense.”
“Do you know who they are from?” Ann asked, her forehead creased, she had rather give them a word or maybe two for having the audacity to write such vulgarities to her wife time and time again. Anne chuckled at her angry expression,
“I couldn’t be certain, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Christopher Rawson had something to do with them. All the better if it is him – for he could never expose us without repercussions for himself.”
“So, I shouldn’t be worried?” Ann asked for confirmation which Anne happily gave her, shaking her head, resting her forehead against hers,
“No. You are perfectly safe with me, and no one can do us any harm.”
“Except for whoever managed to swap our bodies with each other.” Ann mumbled making Anne laugh loudly,
“Shush! I was trying to be romantic and forget all of our troubles for a hot minute.”
This made Ann laugh with her, but then when they reassembled themselves, Ann turned sombre,
“On a serious note though, do you think we will ever change back? – I am starting to think not. It feels as though we have accomplished what we should in order to switch back, right? – I mean could there be any other reason for this switch except to understand one another better?”
Anne sighed, she didn’t really want to imagine that they should live life as one another for the rest of it – that she would never again feel her wife’s soft touches or lithe body pressed up against her own. That she should never again feel completely herself except for when they were alone, there were so many things half-lost to them. They couldn’t possibly ever tell anyone else, and her aunt… Anne pushed away the miserable thoughts, trying to see things for what they were in a positive light – at least she had Ann, and she her. They might make some kind of odd life together this way. After all, they were still them though their bodies had changed.
“I don’t know. I can see no other meaning either. And I suppose we should start to prepare ourselves for the possibility that we might never change back.” Anne told her disheartened, praying fervently in her mind that God might intervene and change them back. Ann seemed equally discouraged,
“I guess...”
As soon as she had said that she seemed to realise they still had one more thing to solve, and sighed,
“Now, I am not looking forward to it… oh, not being you - going downstairs, but I think we have to make amends with them unless they have already left.”
“We!? – You were the one that came barging in shouting at me.” Anne teased her with an impish smirk and Ann groaned, cheeks coloured red,
“I know – I’m sorry! But it will just be easier if we deal with it now rather than later.”
“I agree… but I just want for it to be clear that this was not my fault… for once.” Anne winked, and Ann rolled her eyes at her, giving her a last peck on the lips before they faced the others and the probable turmoil downstairs again.
Thankfully, when they came downstairs, they were only met with Marian, who did look a tiny bit aggravated but otherwise as her usual self.
“What was that scene about?” Marian berated her sister and Ann exhaled slowly as though she was annoyed with her,
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean nothing? You storm in here, shout at poor Ann, pull her out with you, in-front of her guests?!”
Marian was seriously displeased, and Ann didn’t blame her, she had let her emotions blind and rule her against her better judgement. She did have a mess to clear up now with Harriett – preferably before she had time to mention it to Mrs Priestley, and she in turn, the rest of the tribe on one of her rounds.
“I needed to have a word with her is all.”
“Are you alright?” Marian turned to the blonde as she suspected her sister wouldn’t tell her anything more than she had but Anne merely smiled wide, glancing at her wife with a sparkle in her eyes,
“Yes, perfectly so. I just, do not get along very well with Miss Parkhill anymore and Catherine didn’t know – so I asked Ann to interfere and cut the visit short, but I didn’t expect for her to use such dramatics to accomplish that.”
Marian frowned, and eyed them both suspiciously, shaking her head slowly,
“I just… Argh, never mind, I’ll pretend I believe you for the sake of peace.”
“Good.” Ann smirked, and Marian rolled her eyes at her sister, pointing at her,
“You are too dramatic for your own good.”
Ann was about to object to that when Marian continued,
“Anyway, I’m going upstairs to calm Aunt Anne down – she must wonder what’s been going on down here.”
They hadn’t a chance to get another word in, as Marian hurried out of the room to seek solace with Aunt Anne for a while as well as to calm her down. Anne turned to Ann when she was gone, grinning,
“That went well.”
“Did it? – Because as far as I’m concerned, we have upset half the household and our guests. We are just lucky that your father’s almost deaf.”
Ann appeared sceptical and Anne gasped mock-offended,
“Excuse me?! You have upset half of the household and our guests.”
“Fair enough. This once it was all my fault.” Ann groaned, smiling at her wife who wiggled her eyebrows at her making her laugh more, and for a short while it did feel as though everything would be alright, despite them possibly being stuck like this for life.
“If it makes you feel any better, they usually forget it within three years.”
“Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better!” Ann replied her sardonically, but Anne’s laughter was too contagious, and she couldn’t keep her ‘brooding’ façade up for long. Thinking to herself that so long as she had Anne with her, in any shape or form – she might take on the world just as well as before their switch. She refused to be cowered by this ‘minor’ happening and would not allow it to ruin the rest of their lives – in the end, somehow love would conquer all.