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I Need You

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It wasn’t the first time she’d caught him whispering sweet nothings into the phone. But damn it, it would be the last.

Pattie was furious with George. She walked by him without a word and went to their bedroom. She found her stash of Valium and took one, then she laid down on the bed and smoked a cigarette. She ignored him when George came into the room and sat on the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry, Pattie. Truly.” Pattie looked out the window. She couldn’t look at him. She hated him. George rubbed her leg and she scooted over, out of reach. “Look, it won’t happen again. I swear.”

At that, she let out a harsh ugly bark of laughter. He was unbelievable. It had been a shock when she found out how easily he lied. How sincere he sounded when he wasn’t telling the truth.

“I was just talking to her. She lives in the states. There’s nothing going on between us.” George’s voice was pleading. Again he reached for her, and when he put his hand on her thigh she slapped it away.

Pattie rubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray resting on her stomach. “You know, if I did this to you, you’d be furious.” It was no secret and a source of teasing by the other Beatles when George couldn’t hide his jealousy. She patted the bed next to her until she found her pack, and she got another cigarette and lit it. “When you get back from the Bahamas, I won’t be here. I’m moving out.” She had no idea where she’d go. Maybe she could sleep on Jenny’s floor. Or she could bother Belinda again. She’d left before over this Joey Heatherton, and it seemed he hadn’t gotten the message. George squeezed her leg, and she shook his hand off. Jesus. She hated him, but God she wanted him. She despised him.

“Don’t say that, Pattie. You know I love you. You’re the only one for me.” George sounded like he might cry, but she knew he was faking.

“I don’t want your loving anymore,” Pattie told him. Then she rolled on her side so she didn’t have to look at him.

“That really hurts me, Pattie.” She could hear him undress and she saw first his jacket, then his tie, and finally his dress shirt land on the chair, where usually he would carefully hang his jacket on the back. She could hear him unzip his boots, and she could tell they landed somewhere near the closet. Then he was in the bed with her, spooning into her back, his fingers rubbing her neck.

“Pattie, I swear I did not sleep with her. I promise.” He was telling the truth. Of course he didn’t add that Joey had given him a blow job. He’d rued that one night in New York City in September ever since it had happened. Joey was cute and had reminded him of Pattie in a way. Besides all the rum and Coke had crept up on him. The real truth was he loved Pattie and regretted hurting her. It was stupid to talk to Joey on the phone at home.

“Come on, love. You gotta forgive me. I can’t live without you. You know that.” George kept rubbing her neck. Then he moved to her shoulders. He could feel the tension knotted up there. She probably had a headache. When ever Pattie got upset, she almost always got a headache.

Pattie let out a huge sigh. The Valium was taking effect and already she was relaxing into George. Then she remembered that sexy murmuring she’d overheard and she stiffened with anger.

“Come on, babe. Other girls don’t matter. You know just what you mean to me.” George’s nimble fingers unzipped the back of her dress just enough that he could kiss her back between her shoulder blades. He was glad she couldn’t see his smile when she shivered at the touch of his lips on her skin. “I need you,” he said between kisses and he was relieved she didn’t resist when he finished unzipping her dress and he slid his hands over her waist and up her stomach. He stopped there and held her, but nuzzled her neck. Thank God he hadn’t gotten it on with Joey. If he hadn’t been drunk he would never have given her their home phone number. She didn’t call often but when ever she did and Pattie found out, she always freaked out and then she’d leave. He’d have to tell Joey to stop calling. He liked her, she was funny, but he really did love Pattie. “Tell me you won’t leave,” George hated to beg, but he knew he’d been wrong.

Pattie rolled over and looked at him. “Don’t talk to her on this phone ever again. If you swear to God you won’t, then I’ll stay.” He was so fucking handsome. His hair was a mess, but he was always sexy in his white cotton tee shirt and he still had on his pinstripe trousers. Sometimes she hated herself for being so in love with him. Women adored him on sight. If she stayed with him, she knew he’d end up breaking her heart.

“I’ll do what ever you want. I swear to God.” She had said “this phone” and he knew he could keep that promise. She didn’t know it yet, but he’d finally written a pretty good song from all this angst. George kissed her gently. She turned her head away so he stuck his tongue in her ear which always drove her crazy. At first she squirmed and tried to get away, but he was stronger than she was and finally he found her mouth with his. When she didn’t stop him, he deepened the kiss and when she started to kiss him back, he got that dress off of her. With an expertise born of plenty of practice, he unhooked her bra with one hand. And when she was completely undressed, he did the only thing he knew to make her remember she could never really live without him. He made love to her as deliberately and with as much attention that he gave to his guitar solos. She was the only girl he’d ever loved as much as he loved playing music. He loved the sounds she made when he was making the right moves. When she took forever to come, he could tell she’d taken one of her pills. Her eyes were closed and she was just so into what he was doing. “Don’t stop,” she said more than a few times and he kissed and licked and nipped every inch of her until she said, “Now, darling.” Somehow while he had been doing the thing he did as well as playing the guitar, he gotten his own clothes off and the lift of her hips let him know she wanted him inside of her.

“Like this?” he asked her as he finally, finally was where he wanted to be. They rocked in rhythm, slowly at first and then faster. He was steady on until she moaned his name and he knew he could let go. Then they were under the covers and she was snuggled up next to him, her hand on his chest while he held her close in his arms.

Pattie did feel better. George was just perfect in almost every way. It was so unfair. If he were a regular guy with a normal job, she thought she’d still love him. But even if he were a banker or even a cab driver, girls would still be after him. George was so sexy and handsome. He was charming and funny. Usually he had her laughing, not crying.

“Guess what,” he hugged her tightly and kissed her temple, still damp with effort even though it was cold.

“What?” Pattie smiled just a little. George knew she wasn’t as angry as she had been earlier.

“We are going to the Bahamas!”

She sighed a little and pursed her lips. “Yes, I know you all are going to the Bahamas to film your movie.”

“No, Pattie. You and me! We’re going on the 9th. You’ll get to see where we’re going to shoot the movie and we’ll stay with Walter Stratch. “ George turned so he could look at her face.

At last she smiled. “The Bahamas!!??!!” Even Valium couldn’t stifle her excitement. He knew how she felt. The weather was so dreary and grey that the idea of a trip to a sunny island erased all the misery of that blasted phone call. At last his girl was back and she was happy.

“I love you,” she mumbled as she drifted off. Jesus! He hadn’t realize loving someone took more than great sex to make it work. “I love you, too.” And he meant it. Being lonely was shit, and even if it was hard to admit, he was convinced he could never really live without her. He threw his leg over hers, and soon he was asleep, too.