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Forever Yours

Chapter Text

Song - Rescue by Lauren Daigle

I will send out an army
To find You in the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
And I will never stop marching
To reach you in the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you


Elliot was standing in front of a grave. The sky was black with only the light from the full moon above. The cemetery was empty with not another person around. Elliot was confused how he got there.  What day is it? Who did he come to see?


Two hours had passed since Olivia arrived at the hospital. Time felt like it had stood still since she came. The nurses had done more tests. His vitals were stable. If only he would wake up. Dammit Elliot. Stop scaring me. Olivia thought as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"Liv, we can finally go in." Kathleen said as she walked up to Olivia who had been waiting in the lobby with Maureen.

"Good, I think seeing him will help. Maureen and I are going in together. We are both a bit nervous. Having extra support helps." Olivia said as she stood up. She pulled some hair behind her left ear as she nervously followed Kathleen and Maureen back to Elliot's room.

"Are you ready?" Olivia asked as she looked at Maureen reaching out her hand.

"Yeah, it's a little easier knowing he hasn't had any more issues the past few hours." Maureen said quietly as she squeezed Olivia's hand as they walked into the room.

"Take a deep breath. He is in ICU because of his concussion and because he is still unconscious. Your dad has always been stubborn and everything is always done on his terms. He can hear us. We just need to remind him he has our support. Go first. I'll sit in the chair by the window so you have some privacy with him. He loves you and he wants to hear from you." Olivia patted Maureen's right shoulder as she walked to the chair.

Maureen walked up to the hospital bed. She saw the machines hooked up to her dad keeping track of his vitals. She stood there for a minute just watching her dad.

"What should we do?" Maureen asked quietly.

"Tell him what he means to you. Now is the time to say anything you ever wanted to say but held back. He can hear you." Olivia stepped back sitting in the chair across from Maureen. She nodded at Maureen, closing her eyes as she bent her head down resting her hands in her lap.

"Dad." Maureen barely choked out his name as she sobbed . "Please wake up. I know we haven't been close the past few years. That is my fault. My life was a mess. I pushed you away. I made mom swear she would tell no one in the family about my marriage issues. Even mom barely knew anything .I couldn't disappoint you. Even though that seems to be all I ever do. I know if I wasn't born." Maureen paused, crying again." Anyways, I love you. The past few months have been unbearable since mom died. I have you again. Please don't leave me." Maureen laid her head on the bed gripping Elliot's hand sobbing uncontrollably.

"Liv, do you think he is dreaming?" Maureen asked as she turned to look at Olivia.

"Yes. I think he is stuck somewhere. Either a memory or inner battle within himself. He carries the burden and responsibility of your mom's death on his heart. He won't allow himself any peace or forgiveness." Olivia got up and walked next to Maureen.

"Cry as long as you want. It's good for you to let go of your pain." Olivia knelt down rubbing Maureen's back.


Elliot looked at the grave. How was that possible? No, that didn't make any sense? The name on the grave. "No", Elliot screamed.

"Dad", Maureen called out walking towards Elliot. She reached out her hand to him. "Come with me."

"No, this can't be happening. Why? Maureen, please tell me this isn't real." Elliot begged as tears streamed down his face. Elliot looked at the grave again.

Kathy Stabler

"When? How?" Elliot screamed at the grave. "It should've been me." He turned and Maureen was gone. Elliot was all alone.


Thirty minutes later Olivia walked back into Elliot's room. She had just walked with Maureen to the family room lobby where the rest of the family and Don were playing cribbage and phase 10. Don had the great idea to bring some games from home to help pass the time.

"El, it's just us now." Olivia said as she closed the door and walked to look out the window . She knew today she had to follow the same advice she gave Maureen. Today she had to open her heart and tell Elliot the pain she had. She also needed to admit the feelings that were harder for her to talk about. "Here we go." Olivia took a deep breath and walked to the left side of the bed.


Elliot was somewhere but he couldn't remember where. It was pitch black as he stood in a room. Slowly the lights returned. He saw her. But was she real or was it a memory? No, wait. What was she doing?

Elliot was tied to a chair. He tried wrestling free but he couldn't . There was a gun to the side of his head. Olivia stood in front of him holding a gun. He whispered it was ok for her to shoot. He was scared. He didn't want to die. Elliot closed his eyes as he heard the gun shoot off three bullets. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Olivia took her right hand and stroked Elliot's right cheek. She moved her hand slowly up and down as she watched him. She knew him well enough to know he was in the middle of an inner battle with himself. Olivia moved the chair next to his bed and grabbed his right hand. "I'm here. You are not alone."

Elliot opened his eyes. Now he was in a crowded room. No the subway. He wasn't sure where he should go. Ahead of him was a group of individuals surrounding something or someone. He ran as fast as he could . When he reached the group he pushed through trying to find an opening. Finally he got in. There was someone on the ground. Dark hair. He could tell it was a woman. "No", he screamed as he knelt down.

"Liv, I'm here. You are not alone." Elliot stroked Olivia right cheek. He couldn't lose her.


Olivia took another deep breath as she got ready to talk. Opening up was hard. Especially to Elliot on things that were so personal and made her feel so vulnerable.

"This is harder than I thought. So many things I had planned to say to you if you ever returned. Now my mind is blank. Elliot. Ten years. Ten fuckin years." Olivia said as she shook her head.

"Why didn't I deserve a goodbye? An explanation? A hug? Did I mean nothing to you? I'm guessing partners for life was bullshit. I'm not good enough unless I'm useful to you." Olivia bent her head crying .


Elliot was standing in the SVU squadroom alone. It felt as if someone was watching him. They were always there but never seen. Like a shadow. "Please come out" Elliot called as he walked the halls.

He saw someone at the end of the hallway walking into the SVU squadroom. It looked like a girl with dark hair. He knew her. She was always with him. As he walked closer he became scared for what was to come. He wanted to turn or stop but he couldn't.

"Jenna, please stop. Please." Elliot pleaded as he faced her in the SVU squadroom. Jenna held up a gun getting ready to fire again.

"Jenna. No." Elliot screamed. Elliot raised his gun.

Bang

Bang

Bang

Elliot saw her fall to the ground. No, this should have never happened . She was the age of his kids.


Olivia wiped the tears from her eyes. "You threw me away. Threw away a twelve year partnership away like it meant nothing. I don't believe the reason you gave me. You were afraid I would make you stay? That was a cop out Elliot. I deserve the truth, not the version you think I want to hear. Sometimes since you've been back." Olivia paused. "I wonder if I even know who you are anymore. Maybe too much time has passed."

Elliot walked outside his brownstone. Olivia walked up, handing him a coffee. They sat on the steps for hours. Just talking about everything and nothing. It was always so easy and natural for them.

"You are the longest relationship I've ever had." Olivia laughed.

"You mean alot to me Olivia. You always have." Elliot said as he turned and looked at her. He always regretted never saying those words that day.

Olivia's face quickly turned to anger and hurt. "You threw me away. Threw a twelve year partnership away like it meant nothing. Ten years. I'm not good enough unless I am useful to  you." Olivia screamed as she got up from the stairs. She wiped her eyes as she walked down the sidewalk disappearing from his view.

"Liv, come back. Liv, please." Elliot cried.


Olivia sat in Elliot's hospital room. She was just about to tell him how much he meant to her. It wasn't all pain and hurt she felt.

"Liv." Elliot's voice said roughly barely getting the words out.

"El, are you awake?" Olivia asked, jumping quickly out of her chair.

"Liv, come back. Please." Elliot said more forcefully, getting the words out.

"El, I'm here." Olivia said as she stepped closer.

Elliot's left hand shook. His head slumped forward and violently shook side to side. Next his right arm shook. Then within a minute his whole body was having a seizure.

Olivia ran to the hallway screaming. "I need a nurse. He is having a seizure." Quickly two nurses ran in his room slamming the door behind them. The nurse at the nurses station paged the doctor which could be heard over the intercom.

Olivia cried as she stood in the hallway. She had no idea what just happened or how she would tell his kids. Please Elliot. Please be ok.

Rescue

I will send out an army
To find You in the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
And I will never stop marching
To reach you in the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you