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Forever Yours

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Song: History of my heart - Jonathan Jackson (lyrics in bold below)

Just when I think I've finally found a way

To up and get you off my mind

Just when I finally got a prayer to pray

Your memory creeps up from behind

Olivia was in shock and felt numb as she sat in her car. Part of being a police officer is to expect the "call." The call that your partner or fellow officer in your squad could be hurt or killed. Now as captain she would receive a monthly call that an officer she knew either personally or in passing had an incident. She always reached out offering her support to both the officer and their captain . She hoped someone would do the same for her. Lead by example with your words and actions. Show those you supervise you care about them as a person.

This call brought her back. Back to ten years in the past. To the day her captain Don Cragen told Olivia he put his papers in. He left without saying goodbye. He didn't just leave the job. He left her. She broke in half feeling a pain she never felt before.

It don't matter

How many miles down the road

It don't matter

How many times I let you go

You're always with me

Written in the history of my heart

Olivia and Elliot were so intertwined. Their partnership was not just the job. It was so much more. So many words left unsaid. But it was there. A promise or devotion to each other . An invisible thread that kept them connected even if both denied it or pulled away. Even after ten years apart it was there.

I've a tried a little bit of everything

To start again with someone new

But every time a path seems promising

It leads me right back here to you

If she ever would go there it would only be forever and completely. She didn't let herself even dare think of it. She spent the past ten years building the life she only dreamed of as a child. Noah, her son. How those words filled her heart with love and pride. She was a better person because of him. He opened and expanded her heart. His love helped her heal the broken parts of herself that before him she buried deep inside of her. Her career had become more than just a job. She was making a difference helping survivors of rape get justice and hold onto hope. She was the first woman captain of the SVU department.

She had tried a few times hoping to find a man who would stay. Stay no matter how hard things were. Nothing lasted more than a few years with any guy she dated. Olivia wouldn't settle for less than she deserved . She wanted a best friend and partner. Someone she could build a life with. Grow old together. Take care of each other. Laugh. A love that grew only stronger as each year passed.

It don't matter

How many miles down the road

It don't matter

How many times I let you go

You're always with me

Written in the history of my heart

"Please god. I know I don't pray often. So I'm not sure if you will hear my voice today. Please watch over him. His kids need him. Their mom is with you. Only six months ago. He has been struggling so much the past few months . He needs you. I can't lose him again . Please ." Olivia bent her head as tears fell from her eyes.


Olivia stood outside the hospital . She looked up at the sky with the sun blinding her eyes. Part of her didn't want to go in because once she entered those doors Elliot's car accident was real. Out on the pavement she could lie to herself. Lie to herself that it was just a minor accident. Lie to herself it didn't matter if she was there. And the biggest lie was convincing herself she wasn't scared. Olivia sat on the bench to the right of the entrance. She couldn't go in alone. It was too hard.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I couldn't find a parking spot nearby. I'm not as young as I used to be. Walking tired me out." Don Cragen said as he walked up to Olivia.

"No worries. I'm in no hurry going inside." Olivia said as she looked up.

"Remember Elliot is a fighter. His kids mean everything to him. He won't give up." Don said as he sat to the right of Olivia on the bench. "We will stay here until you're ready." Don placed his left arm behind Olivia on the bench.

"Thanks, not sure why it's bothering me so much. We don't know if it is any more serious than a concussion." Olivia said as she watched people walk into the hospital.

"There's nothing wrong with admitting you care about Elliot . Ten years away doesn't erase the bond you have. Twelve years as partners is a long time. You were always connected which could bring out the best and sometimes the worst in each other." Don said as he squeezed Olivia's shoulder.

"Yeah, I now have a small idea what we put you through. Rollins and Carisi sometimes made supervising them hard." Olivia laughed and felt her body relax.

"I used to have hair before being your captain." Don said and laughed.

"Blame Elliot. He was the problem child. I never did anything wrong." Olivia said as she looked at Don smirking.

"Hmm, not exactly how I remember things." Don laughed and winked at Olivia.

"I'm ready. Thank you for coming here today when I called. I knew after talking to Maureen I wouldn't be able to come here by myself. " Olivia said as she got up from the bench.

" I'm glad we were able to come at the same time. Kathleen called awhile after you as well." Don said as they walked into the hospital.

"I have the next two days off because I worked the weekend. Noah will be staying with the neighbors tonight. Which of course he was excited about having a sleepover at his friend's house." Olivia pushed the fourth floor as she and Don got into the elevator.

"It will be okay. Whatever happens you can always lean on me." Don said as they stepped out of the elevator together.


Olivia looked down the hall as the elevator closed behind them. There was an uneasy silence with no one else around . She grabbed the piece of paper in her pocket. Room 415. On the wall it said to go straight ahead. Olivia wanted to run the closer they got to Elliot room. Finally they reached his room but the door was shut.

No way I'm meant to walk

This world on my own

Some words are only wind

Some words are etched in stone

In stone

"What should we do? I don't see anyone in the room?" Olivia asked Don as she tried to look through the small window slit in the door.

"I'm sure they will be back in a minute. Do you want to go in for a few minutes now?" Don asked as he looked around.

"No, let's just wait until the kids come back." Olivia leaned against the wall and sighed. They stood in silence waiting.

It don't matter

How many miles down the road

It don't matter

How many times I let you go

You're always with me

Written in the history of my heart

Five minutes later Dickie and Kathleen got off the elevator carrying their breakfast and coffee from the hospital cafeteria.

"Liv, Don, were you waiting long? I needed a break for a few minutes. I've been here since 2 am. I need caffeine to be semi alert. It's been a long day and it's only 9 am." Dickie said as he quickly walked up to them.

"We completely understand. It has been a tough year for your family. We are here to offer any support we can." Don reached out patting Dickie on the back.

You're always with me

Written in the history of my heart

The history of my heart