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Forever Yours

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Chapter One

Elliot sat at the table looking at his “crazy wall” as Kathleen had called it. How could his life have changed so drastically in just a matter of weeks? He could still remember sitting out on his porch or loggia as Italians called it each morning drinking his coffee watching the sunrise for a few hours before Kathy and Eli awoke.

Now he was trying to find his wife’s murder. His kids were all worried about him while dealing with their own grief. Elliot did what he did best. He pushed everyone away so they couldn’t see.

He didn’t want his kids to see his pain, his anger and his vulnerability. He knew his job is what cost his children their mom.

“Dammit, it's all my fault.” Elliot screamed as tears streamed down his face. He tore the pictures off the wall and threw them across the room. “My kids are suffering because of the enemies I have made over my career. I promise you Kathy I will find who did this to you. I will make them pay.”

Elliot walked into the kitchen and grabbed a few beers from the fridge before laying on the couch. The couch had now become his bed. He couldn’t sleep in his bed because it was a sad reminder. He was all alone. Kathy was gone forever.

He had been with Kathy since high school. He didn’t know his life without her. So many days he felt he didn’t deserve her. They fell in love young and had gotten married after Kathy became pregnant. Kathy had raised five kids who he felt blessed for every day.
He never cheated. However not always was his family his top priority.

Olivia. Olivia Benson. Liv was his only weakness.

He broke her heart. He saw the damage he had caused everytime he looked in her eyes since his return. Olivia would never understand he had to leave for both of them.

He was a coward. He had left without a goodbye because she was the only person who could make him stay. He had owed Kathy and the kids for all the years he had placed the job and his Liv before them.

So he ran as far away as possible. He broke both of their hearts the day he walked away. Liv always had a piece of his heart. She had his heart from the day he first saw her. Only once he walked away did he understand the depth of their connection which was never spoken aloud.

Kathy always knew. She knew far before he and Olivia even would admit it to themselves. After some time he and Kathy fell in love again in Italy. He never deserved her.

Elliot drank until he could fall asleep as his dreams were his only safe place. He could see happy memories of Kathy and his kids. He cried all night as his heart felt completely shattered.