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Wish that I was weightless, take this from me

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Dorian wasn’t precisely asleep when the knock sounded. It pulled him from that soft drifting space. Even worse was Bull’s warmth rising and moving away to answer the door. He frowned and shifted, only to be reminded of the soft scarves binding his hands together. It was easy to let go of the prickle of unease, then; Bull still had him, even if he was across the room.

He shifted his feet just to feel the bindings there too, a reminder. Bull made a soothing sound as he returned, large hand running up Dorian’s back.
“Just Krem. You can go back to sleep,” as he climbed back over Dorian.

Dorian frowned and finally cracked an eye open. The candlelight was dim, had to be murder of Bull’s eye where he sat next to Dorian reading.

“You don’t have to stay here, you know.” His tongue felt thick on the words. How long had he been drifting?

“I’m not leaving when you’re tied up, Dorian.”

“You shouldn’t have to babysit me.” Emotion was an ugly thing clawing at his chest. Here he was taking Bull’s time when he could be enjoying it with his men.

“Dorian, look at me.” But Dorian couldn’t bear to, not now, not in the face of his selfishness.

With a rumbling sound, Bull set his book aside. He caught the loop on Dorian’s wrists, pulled until his hands were stretched above his head, pinned against the soft pillows. Bull loomed over him.

“I’m not leaving you.” Dorian’s breath hitched. “Besides, not like I get nothing out of this.” His other hand drifted down Dorian’s side.

“I thought you said this didn’t have to be sexual.” He had said that. Dorian didn’t want that now; he was sure he’d said that.

“Nothing sexual about it, Dorian. I like seeing you in my bed. You think it means nothing to have you tied up here? Just because that’s what you needed? I wouldn’t miss a second of this.” His lips brushed Dorian’s brow, and he finally released Dorian’s hands. “You wanna be alone, I can sit across the room, but that’s not what you want, is it?” Barely a question. He already knew the answer. Still, Dorian shook his head. He shouldn’t be this easy to read, shouldn’t-

“You’re getting in your head again,” Bull’s voice was soft, a gentle reminder. The reason he was tied up in the first place -- thoughts winding too fast, he’d needed somewhere safe where he could make it all shut up. Somehow it always led back to Bull.

“Here.” Bull was gone again. He returned quickly enough this time, holding a length of silk. He raised a brow in silent question. Dorian shrugged his agreement. Bull sat next to Dorian again, pulled him to sit between his knees. The scarf he draped over Dorian’s eyes and tied securely behind his head. A hand on his brow guided Dorian back to rest on Bull’s chest. Tension lasted for a moment, but it couldn’t hold. It broke with a shudder running down Dorian’s spine.

“That’s it. Go back to sleep,” Bull murmured into his hair, both arms wrapping around him, pinning his bound hands against his chest. Dorian shivered, grateful his eyes were hidden, and is that why Bull had done it in the first place? He let the world go out of focus, basking in Bull’s warmth. It would be okay.